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#diets are extremely popular
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blujayonthewing · 3 months
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unfortunately spiders are a pretty popular part of traditional gnomish cuisine
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capfalcon · 1 year
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i literally want to make a podcast titled "crimes against tofu" and it will literally just be me bitching about all the different ways people fuck tofu up
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kiseiakhun · 9 months
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Just because New Information You Learned From A Stranger On The Internet goes against mainstream misinformation does not mean it is also not misinfo
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zeldasnotes · 6 months
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MARS IN THE HOUSES
Things your placement makes me think of ❤️‍🔥
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MARS IN THE 1ST HOUSE: Gorgeous eyebrows, jawline, being competetive, scarring, martial arts, animal magnetism, gymrat, mma, having to do the dirty work, standing up for those who cant stand up for themselves, overly courageus, a need to show you can do it, fitness contests, you are seen as someone whos not to mess with, hard working, red hair, looking good in red, easily irritated, walking fast, bragging, easily irritated when people do things too slowly, blunt, saying it like it is, prefering to hang out with men, fierce look, model body, a strong need to get stuff done everyday, forgetting to rest.
MARS IN THE 2ND HOUSE: From nada to prada, the amount of money you have affects your self esteem, people constantly wanting to borrow from you, the first one in the family to make it, wanting the best looking house in the neighborhood, a need to own a lot, a lot of conflicts in the family, overprotective, envious of others possessions, velvet and silk clothes, if it aint high quality you dont want it, quality over quantity, practical, irritated by people who are irresponsible with money, generous, materialistic, overworking yourself, a harsh tone, putting on a scary voice when angry, people feel safe around you, cozy.
MARS IN THE 3RD HOUSE: Straight to the point, online conflicts, blunt, sibling rivalry, arguing for the sake of arguing, sassy, cursing, driving fast, rapper, rap battle, formidable debater, gossip as a way of fighting, ”im gonna tell everyone what you did”, outspoken, too blunt, looking for conflict, neighbourhood bully, sounding rude when you didnt mean too, passive aggressive digs, an addiction to confrontation, sexy voice, mentally competetive, strong need to defend yourself, dirty talk, being able to convince everyone, beef with the neighbours, honest, extremely alert, hard to to fool.
MARS IN THE 4TH HOUSE: Issues with citizenship,raised by a single mom, being raised by an angry or stressed out parent, having to raise yourself, a mother whos obsessed with rules, a mom who takes anger out on you bc daddy left, home is like a warzone, a family of bullies, hearing your mom talk shit about people on the phone all day, learning early to stand up for yourself, nostalgic, being uncomfortable at home, you can be a patriot or the opposite a dislike for your homecountry and wanting to leave it, being the ”man of the house”, sensitivity turned into anger, strong desire to move away from home, moving a lot, renovation business, your mother affected your view of women and sex.
MARS IN THE 5TH HOUSE: An obsessive need to feel seen, wanting to be admired, pride, viewing sex as art, wanting to be one of the popular people, gambling, creativity, feeling a strong need to come across as confident, being competetive, very sexual, drama queen, boy/girl crazy, fashionista, lucky, naturally entertaining, not afraid to express your sexuality, not afraid to show off, stage presence, custody battle, having a martian child, attention seeking, needing competition to feel alive, flirty, high libido, bad habits, a style that stands out, glamorous, being a diva.
MARS IN THE 6TH HOUSE: Obsessive need to feel productive, finishing 100 tasks in a day, strong need to be of service, sexy body, gymrat, gym receptionist, sexy maid costume, competing with people in the same business, sabotaged by coworkers, diets, veterinary, irritated by lazy people, being surrounded by lazy coworkers, you are annoyed by people who dont follow the routine, submissive, exhausting yourself, organizing, ”lady in the streets, freak in the sheets” energy, people expecting you to do it, working 3 different jobs, working until you collaps, refusing to rest until you are done.
MARS IN THE 7TH HOUSE: Dating bad boys, moving in together the same year you meet someone, a strong need to prove who you can get, attracting very sexual relationships, flings that burn bright but quickly, might get involved in more conflicts than others during your life, attracted to arrogant people, attracted to people with a lot of masculine energy, having a lot of enemies, relationships ending on a sour note, wanting to dominate the relationship or wanting a partner who dominates, wanting relationships to move fast, being aggressive towards partners or them being aggressive towards you, needing a relationship thats passionate, breaking up and getting back together a thousand times, constant bickering, passive aggressive comments.
MARS IN THE 8TH HOUSE: People with masculine energy becoming obsessed with you, sex appeal, being a victim of violence from men, early painful experiences with men, men you dated coming back years later to get with you again, trauma surrounding sex, a bad first time, taboo relationships, attracted to the forbidden, attracting envy from masculine energy people, vengeful, intense anger, threaths, seeing the worst side of men, animal magnetism, attracting people wherever you go, people being innappropriate with you, people seeing you as someone whos good in bed, sexually charged, oozing it, enjoying scary movies and documentaries.
MARS IN THE 9TH HOUSE: Forcing your opinion on people, a lot of enemies at school, people attacking bc of your cultural background or religion, not liking people who disagree with you, strong opinions, comedian, disliked by teachers and students, having to change schools, you come across as ditzy, people constantly asking you where you are from, well known at school, funny stuff in the school bathroom, people underestimating your intelligence, getting into heated discussions about religion, gambler, breaking tradition.
MARS IN THE 10TH HOUSE: Top model, CEO, sex symbol, models stealing eachothers outfits backstage, go hard or go home, dog eat dog, seen as someone bitchy, everybody knows who you are, posting gym selfies, being forced into sports as a kid, a parent who shamed you for being a pussy, wearing the latest, intimidating people without doing snything, catcalling, fitnessinfluenser, fitspo, only one can win, leaked sex tape, a reputation for being sexy, it girl, sex symbol, baddest b in town, public fights, the best at whatever you do, raised by a single mother, afraid of not being seen as high status.
MARS IN THE 11TH HOUSE: Protesting, fitnessinsta, posting pictures at the gym, ”haters make me famous”, teamplayer, being cancelled, attracting anger on the internet, cyber bullying, humanitarian, people love to hate you, a striking look, friendships ending on bad terms, leader of a group, activist, rally starter, cheerleader, it girl, Regina George energy, hanging out with the guys, exposing the bad guys, friends with benefits, from enemies to friends, befriending someone you disliked at first sign, a friendscircle of bitches, onlyfans, needing the latest technology, the power of knowing everyone, wanting to know everyone, rebel without a cause.
MARS IN THE 12TH HOUSE: Passive aggressive, men playing you for a fool, being decieved by men, dating the town drugdealer, being surrounded by men who lie and drink, passive aggressive comments, afraid of confrontation, finding comfort in an addiction, men turning you against other women, wanting to be the saviour, making someone else fight for you, working at a mental hospital, working with addicts, not knowing who the enemy is, a good actor, being used by men, men giving you compliments to get something from you, repressing your sexuality, secret relationships, isolation, unknowingly being the side chick, scared of standing up for yourself.
© 2023 Zeldas Notes
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neil-gaiman · 6 months
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Hello Mr Neil,
I want to share how I feel about Sherryl the supermodel from Good Omens. You've answered a question previously when someone felt that her representation was lacking empathy (re the visual effects note in the script book, although the scene was cut), and I want to offer my thoughts to help people who felt that way about Sherryl.
The book (Good Omens, not the scripts, which I haven't read) plays with dark topics and makes them absurd and fun, aiming the jabs at the systems that (mis)guide or harm people (there are Beliefs, the People who Believe them, and the odd ways of living that make sense to them). Famine's D-Plan sums up the diet industry and a culture of starvation: of course we don't laugh /at/ Sherryl, we understand (because of everything the novel sets up) that like every other human she does her best with the frameworks she's got. It's empathetic, because that's what Good Omens is. Understanding that let me reframe the knee-jerk reaction I had on my first read of the scene in the book.
[For the TV show, though, as you've explained in the past, certain things had to be adapted to the time. I wonder sometimes - because I know that you do these things well - how you felt about approaching Sherryl nearly 30 years later.]
I think the trouble for me was that the scene in the book felt cruel at first. Now, I think 'A skeleton in a Dior dress' beautifully sums up the sacrifice of her humanity to become New York's top model. It's death dressed up - that's how such extremely-ill supermodels *should* appear to us if only we were unblinkered. One should see plainly the actual violence in an emaciated person's appearance. Maybe growing up with early 2000s aggressive body-shaming British TV shows and an overweight mother of Sherryl's generation as well as personal experience of anorexia made the 'skeleton' image feel cruel, now-overdone and recognisable to the nastiest unhealed bits in my psyche.
I think the frightened human animal in me initially recoiled from the dehumanisation. The pit of me jerked at the descriptions of Sherryl that felt like real insults, pulled straight from mainstream body-shaming media of my formative years. Of course, Good Omens predates this - thin was in, religiously, and the scene was subversive then - but that was my initial bodily feeling, not a thoughtful response. I describe it to illustrate where the challenge was, after we've gone from skinny worship in the 90s, to domestic skinny enforcement, to skinny shame, to wherever we are now in the popular orthorexic fitness culture and clean-eating minefield etc etc. Starvation dehumanises, and Sherryl was sick to the point of being inhuman - the scene under a microscope might feel complicit in dehumanisation to the sensibilities of teens and young adults today (for the same reason that people in Trafalgar Square can't see England), but within the book it humanises Sherryl by showing you plainly what awful thing has happened to her.
What the book did for me was let me delight in a sense of humour that makes difficult things totally absurd and therefore perfectly understandable. It told me, everyone is doing their best (to the best of their understanding), and when the fun-poking poked at my own pressure points, it said, lovingly, yes, you too. Many things about the book are like laughing with a friend or receiving a warm hug - it makes the big things so silly, and shared, and okay.
Thanks :) x <3
I am glad that is how you saw her. That is how we saw her. (I'm reminded of the only time I was ever at a high fashion event, where I found myself profoundly shocked by the incredible thinness of the models, and how sorry for them I felt, and how I wanted to feed them soup and stew and sandwiches. And of a high fashion model I knew a little, when she went out with a friend of mine, who told me that some girls she knew used heroin to stop the hunger pains, injecting themselves between their toes, and later I learned that my friend broke up with her when he learned she was a heroin addict.)
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growingstories · 2 months
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Drew Miller was a young man named and was the epitome of popularity in his high school, known for his charm, good looks, and his exceptional skills as a heavyweight wrestler. Drew was admired by all, and he relished the adoration he received.
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But alas, Drew's dreams were shattered when a series of injuries forced him to quit wrestling. Without the rigorous training required to maintain his previous weight, Drew began to put on pounds. However, he couldn't bring himself to start losing weight, believing he could still shed the excess pounds later on.
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Determined to move forward in life, Drew landed a job at an office. The daily routine of sitting, combined with his overindulgence in unhealthy snacks and meals, led to further weight gain. Drew's shirts grew tighter, making him feel frustrated and uncomfortable in his own skin. But instead of changing his eating habits, he found solace in food, seeking temporary relief from his mounting stresses and disappointments.
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During this time, Drew met a young guy named Patrick, who also happened to be a wrestler from their high school. Patrick was determined to bulk up for his next wrestling weight class, and Drew, eager to remain a part of the wrestling scene, decided to eat alongside him. Patrick was extremely handsome and ripped. He was much smaller than Drew but had an amazing ripped shape.
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As Andrew continued to stuff himself with food, the pounds continued to pile onto his already substantial figure. Meanwhile, Patrick achieved his desired bulk and moved up to the next weight class. Patrick loved being pushed by the bigger Drew and Drew loved the feeling of being the big one. Patrick often pushed Drew to eating more. Their sex was amazing.
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Unfortunately, Drew's eating habits began to take a toll on his fitness, leaving him increasingly unfit. Despite his struggles, the two continued to enjoy a vibrant love life filled with passion and desire. However, Drew often found himself out of breath during their intimate encounters, making him aware of his declining physical condition. Simple tasks like tying his shoes became arduous challenges, and Drew couldn't ignore the impact his weight gain was having on his daily life. Also Patrick started noticing differences in his shape. He was getting stronger by the day but all this bulking made him to start losing his knife sharp abs but also his jeans became too tight as his legs had an amazing growth spurt. Which made Drew constantly wanting to squeeze Patricks ass and getting hornier all the time.
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Patrick, faced a another battle. After a grueling lost match, he realized he needed to lose weight in order to compete in a lower weight class. Also coach advised him to either get much stronger or lose weight and thrive in a lighter weight class. Determined to achieve his goal, he embarked on a strict diet and intense training regimen. As Patrick tried to shed weight and grow stronger, Drew's eating and cooking habits remained unchanged. He continued to grow bigger, seemingly oblivious to the impact on his health and well-being. Despite his increasing size, Drew found immense joy in his life, basking in the love and acceptance he received from Patrick and others around him. But his cooking and caring for Patrick resulted in Patrick gaining more weight instead of a cut. His abs almost completely covered by a layer of fat. Realizing this he accepted his fate and decided to try to get stronger in a heavier weight class.
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And so, their intertwined journey continued - Patrick striving to achieve his wrestling dreams by making sacrifices and become big and strong and staying disciplined, while Drew found comfort in his expanding girth, deciding to embrace his current body and live life to the fullest and take care of his bulking wrestler boyfriend.
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phantomrose96 · 1 year
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I think one of my least favorite Reddit personalities is what I'm gonna call Destitution Superiority.
It's a pretty disturbingly popular mindset I encounter frequently on Reddit. The kind of people who are like "Yeah I always save 75% of my income and I do this by never buying any single thing I do not need" "I've cut out 100% of processed sugar from my entire diet and it's great for my body" "I spend (absurdly long) time at the gym and eat (absurdly few) calories every day which I weigh and count it's really turned my life around."
And the thing is like, I believe them when they say doing this makes them feel good! I believe this satisfies a primal need for accomplishing a difficult task, for being proud of their efforts, for feeling superior to people who are simply too "lazy"/"impulse-driven"/"ignorant" to do the same.
...But by god. What's the end game? Do these people want to hit 80 years old and look back on their entire life pride which was just... self-deprivation? Do they want to look back and think "thank god I never once tried a delicious piece of cake" "thank god I missed my friend's birthday party so I could hit my gym goals" "thank god I'm dying with millions in the bank which I never let myself use or enjoy in life"
They're defining themselves by what they refuse to let themselves have. They're seeking accomplishment in being less, and doing less, and consuming and spending less so they can soak in the ephemeral brain chemicals that say "you did good by denying yourself this experience." And what happens when they crack? When day 487 of no desserts they feel weak and have a cupcake and hate themselves? And they go back to their hivemind which tells them they were simply weak and need to get back on the horse. It's sad. It's sad to watch.
And it is so very dangerous for how easily people will get sucked in. How extremely easy it is to blur the lines between "healthy, responsible behavior" and "cultish adherence to denying yourself pieces of your own life." They don't recognize that line themselves. Because if you try to bring this up with them, they deflect as if you were suggesting they plunge themselves deep into the opposite obsession. "Oh you think I should just spend every single dime I earn and end up in debt and broke?" "What are you suggesting I just let my health go because it's easier to sit on the couch every day."
No. I just think the narrative around "responsible" behaviors of finance and health needs to address the far-too-pervasive phenomenon of people overdoing it with cultish adherence, and locking themselves out of life, experiences, and joy, because the chemical rush of choke-hold control on their life--(or worse, the fear of slipping and being seen as one of the irresponsible others)--blinds them to the fact that they earnestly want to shrink the one and only life they have to live.
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bethanythebogwitch · 10 months
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So a while back I made this post
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And it became very popular. While many people already knew, I did get some asking why humboldt squids are scary. So for this Wet Beast Wednesday I'm going to teach you why you should be afraid, or at least respectful, of molluscoid menace that is the humboldt squid.
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(image: a humboldt squid)
Known to scientists as Dosidicus gigas and to many others as the jumbo squid, pota, jibia, and diablo rojo, the humboldt squid is the 5th largest squid in the world and the largest of the flying squids. Don't worry, it can't actually fly. They reach an average mantle length (tat's excluding the head and arms) of 1.5 meters, with some specimens reaching up to 2 meters (6.5 ft) in mantle length. The arms can reach up to another meter in length. Adults can weigh up to 50 kg (150 lbs), with females generally being larger than males. They live in the Pacific along the cost of the Americas, from the tip of South America up to California in North America. Some individuals have been known to travel farther north, up to Alaska, which is outside of their historical range. It is possible that as the ocean warms, their native range will continue to expand north.
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(image: a humboldt squid releasing ink as a defense mechanism)
Humboldt squids reproduce in deep waters, and as a result we don't know much about their courtship. Males use a modified arm called the heterocotylus to transfer sperm into the female's mantle. She then lays a transparent, gelatinous egg mass that is left to float in the water column. These masses can range between 1 and 4 meters in diameter can can contain up to 4 million eggs. Hatchlings receive no parental care and most will die before adulthood. They grow extremely rapidly, likely as a self-defense against cannibalism by larger squids. Like many squid, humboldts only live for a year and die shortly after mating.
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(image: a humboldt squid next to a much braver diver than I will ever be)
As with most cephalopods, the humboldt squid has cells called chromatophores that allow it to change color. Cameras attached to captured and released specimens have show two types of color-changing behavior: flashing and flickering. Flashing is when the animal changes rapidly between red and white. This is done in the presence of other squid and is likely a means of communication, possibly a form of courtship or warning to stay away. Flickering is when waves of red and white travel down the body. This is likely a form of camouflage to blend in with light flickering through the water. In addition to flashing and flickering, cameras have seen multiple forms of color changes and communication behaviors, indicating that they have a rich social life. The red color the squid turns when hunting contributes to its nickname amongst Mexican fishermen: "diablo rojo", the "red devil".
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(gif: humboldts changing color)
So all that sounds pretty normal, why are they scary? Well that comes down to their feeding behavior and aggression. Humboldt squids hunt in shoals that can include thousands of members and go into feeding frenzies that can make shark feeding frenzies look like a child's tea party. They are infamous for their aggression and there are many stories of them attacking divers and fishermen. Not even they are immune to their predation, as multiple studies have found between a half and a quarter of all dissected specimens have recently fed on others of their species. Cannibalism may make up a major portion of their diet, though cannibalistic behavior seems to increase in response to stress. Their typical diet consists of fish, crustaceans, and other squids. Humboldts typically keep their two long tentacles coiled up between their arms, only for them to suddenly lash out and grab prey. These tentacles have multiple sharp hooks that have been reported to cause severe cuts in humans. Captured prey is then pulled in toward the beak and consumed. Feeding happens so fast that scientists need to us high-speed cameras to record the capture as the tentacles move so fast they prey can be caught and reeled in between frames. Eating is also fast enough that they can grab a hooked fish and skeletonize it in the time it takes a frustrated angler to pull their catch in. And if that wren't enough, they also engage in cooperative hunting, working together to catch prey. When not feeding or being hunted, they have been described as curious, though they often react to unfamiliar stimuli with aggression. Some divers have reported that humboldts will come investigate them and even act friendly, though I can't say I'd be willing to try it.
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(gif: a squid attacking a camera)
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(gif: hunting squid)
Numerous fishermen's tales and news stories tell of attacks on humans, but the squid do have a reason to not like us. They are fished heavily, especially off the coat of Mexico and are the most important squid for commercial fisheries. Humboldt squids make up about a third of all squid fished every year and are the most popular food squid. Squid meat is saturated with ammonium chloride, which they use for buoyancy, and must be prepared to remove the taste before eating. Not much is known about threats to conservation, though some speculate that overfishing and global warming disrupting their food supply could threaten the population. They are listed as data deficient by the IUCN. As scary as they might be, humboldt squids serve a very important ecological role in their territories, both as primary predators and as prey to sharks and toothed whales, and more research on their sustainability and conservation needs is important.
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(image: a scientist attaching a crittercam to a humboldt squid)
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what-even-is-thiss · 5 months
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european here (genuinely curious): in reference to your “american home-cooked food isn’t just fast food, it’s a lot like french/italian food” post, could you give some examples? I don’t know what foods are american home staples, but your post piqued my interest
Well stews and soups for one. When I read recipes for stuff like beef bourguignon it’s quite familiar to me. Less wine perhaps but the principles of the dish are similar.
Italian-American food often also makes for easy quick food on weeknights. Pasta is something that can be just as easy or complicated as you want. You can make it from scratch at every step or just make sauce from canned ingredients and boxed pasta. Tomato paste, flour, pasta, and dried herbs are staples in most kitchens. Pretty much every household has their own way of making pasta sauces.
Roasts are popular during the winter. Both roasted veggies and roasted meat. Potatoes are popular year round but in the summer things like potato salad or fries or bagged chips are more common than stewed, mashed, or boiled potatoes.
Americans commonly cook with butter and olive oil, though canola oil is cheaper. In recent years though there’s been health questions about canola oil and some people only use it for deep frying now.
French cream sauces are pretty similar to American white gravy which we make with cream instead of milk. We do also make white sauce too and will put it on most things. I find it especially good on pizza instead of red sauce. A lot of people also put it on pasta or vegetables.
A lot of the way we eat potatoes is pretty similar to some French dishes. What we call scalloped potatoes is very similar to a French dish called potatoes au gratin. Not identical, but extremely similar.
Stuff like French onion soup and duck a l’orange is also decently popular here even if not everyday food and are things you’d more commonly make yourself than buy from a restaraunt.
French style breads and pastries are also quite popular here. Baguettes are common things to cut up to eat with dip. Croissants with coffee are common things to eat for a small breakfast or an afternoon snack. French style breads both sweet and not are also common breads used for sandwiches. Italian style coffee is also more and more popular these days but that wasn’t true until relatively recently.
A lot of similarities really lie in the ingredients we use. We often cook things in butter for example. Or add flour to stews to thicken them. Or add milk to things. Or use wine to deglaze pans for the flavor.
A lot of home cooking in the US is affected by other immigrant populations. Tacos or curry are staples in my diet for example. But when you get down to more traditional comfort food it’s potatoes, cream sauces, stews, herbs, roasts, and pasta. Stuff that’s not identical to French or Italian cooking but is very heavily influenced by it.
TLDR: It’s butter!
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sjw-publishings · 4 months
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Lit Gud Streamin
With much encouragement from @dumb-and-jocked
>First Time Streamin’ bro?
The house husband blushed at the first comment coming to respond to him.
Carson Green was anxious…he’d heard of streaming but never tried it until some pestering from his Gaymer group as of late.
The stay at home husband wanted to help with the finances, hence why he even considered it in the first place. Sure it was nice being a homemaker, and definitely had a flair in cooking, but he wanted to do something different.
“Y…Yeah, it’s my first time.”
>LOL K
He was relatively unsure of this, but he had known and spoken to several of the guys a week ago, and though he could have sworn they talked about a different topic entirely, he recalled about many of them bragging about ‘raking in the dough’ for gaming.
True enough, many of them are not only being paid handsomely in royalties for streaming, but they have a surprisingly large fanbase!
Admittedly, he was sort of shocked…and sort of jealousy that many of them are quite popular online, almost like they reached stardom within a week or less.
But regardless, his group also promised that they will help out with ‘assimilating’ him into the platform and moderate his stream. So surely he would reach a certain level of success with their guidance.
Though he’s still unsure how exactly will do they so.
“W…What games will we be playing?”
>Dis the game dude
>Ur in it, brought in da Boiz to watch the stream.
With that, the number count rose exponentially, from single digits, to doubles.
The house husband blushed, twiddling his thumbs at being watched by wide audience. Is it like a reality show game? Or is it something different entirely?
Granted, there weren’t any instructions or briefings given about it. Maybe it is a more on the spot, spontaneous kind of thing?
“D…Do I need to do anything in particular?”
>Just be yourself , LOL
>You gotta impress us Noob.
He…kind of doesn’t like being called a noob, but he is new to streaming after all. So he ought to listen to them, no matter how they are like.
>Dude, ur Tagline?
Tagline…?
Oh yeah! All the cool streamers he watched had one.
Wait? Since when did he watch…well he is a gamer after all, so it’s only natural that he DID watch streams, at least some of em by proxy. He is rather connected to the other guys.
“Ummm…ok LOL, what kind of tagline. Do you all have any suggestions, dudes?”
>Just Lit Gud man.
>Yeah RAT
He thought maybe it’s tough love or something…though it really feels extremely rude. Almost draining even, like yeah it was exhausting trying to keep up with his group’s gaming shenanigans, but even in their streamin’ advice?
C’mon Man!
Plus he’s just got married not a while ago! They could’ve at least be NICE to him since he’s now tied down! Like don’t get me wrong, he loves his husbro, but when all is said and done, he does miss the glory days of being with the rest of the guys.
“Look, I-D-K if Lit Gud Noobs is such a nice tagline?”
Desperate for a win here. Yeah, he may be getting quite aggro. But it’s justified! Bro.
“And who you callin’ Rat, RATZ!”
His mouth slurred at that remark, a very sleazy…immature slur as he quickly covered his mouth in that regard.
Though admittedly, he kinda liked that.
After all, if he was the rat, then these noobs are his goons. And while he usually isn’t the dominant one in his relationships, admittedly he kinda liked roleplaying as one of the typical bros, even if he wasn’t THAT asian compared to them.
>RAT BOD
>You lift Bro?
“My body…its not that well off-“
>Get lit or get Shyt on
He’s gotta get LIT.
Watching as his weight sizzle away down, melting away the bubbling tummy fat into a faint trail of a six pack, straining loosely on the shirt being his college grad pectorals.
Gotta show off after all. Specially during the bachelor’s party!
His diet consisted of pizza, soda and chips. And so ducking what? Body trim as DUCK, that’s how he lived and how his rats loved it. Some people said it was his GENE-tics or some shit that he had this bod, but you know what he says to em’?
Get lit or get Shyt on!
But even so, da shyt? Why did these bastards gotta treat him like that? Weren’t they all buds or somethin’?
“You RATZ are always so rude.”
>We rude? KAPPA
>Haha Noob!
With every interaction and vocabulary pollution, hunching lazily towards the screen, eyes entranced by the masses of comments.
LIGHTING and EMPHASIZIN’ random words, like an obnoxious mixture tainting his patience. Persistent name calling and being on the receiving end of the relationship kinda pisses him off.
>LOL K, How’s the stream?
But admittedly, a growing part of him is really getting pumped, while irritated, a small part of him liked broadcasting to these gamers.
If only they had some MAN-NERS, sheesh!
“How the streamin’ goin? Dude IDK, just a Jerkin’ stream today, nothin but insults.”
> Git Gud
> Just Git Gud
> Noob
Chat, filled with your run of the mill, cloned responses. Your typical mocks and insults, passive threading onto aggressive, a fine balance of being slightly very aggro but chill, producing RUDE DUCKIN’ INSULTS.
Each one after another, a shytposting blend that makes the stupid obnoxiousness rise higher and higher. Calves toning out from jumping upwards in sports as his body shrunk downward, making sure he sees eye to eye with dem BOIZ.
One liner aggressiveness alongside swarms of memes and complete nonsense. Idiotic behaviour, fitting a ‘RatChat’. Blending in with the other dudes, speakin’ their language, participating campus exercises and roughing around with the other bros!
Like a game, course, they are gamers after all. They know the COMBO, dissecting their streamer bud like it’s nothin’! Insults kicking right from the beginning!
He wanted to beat them at their own game!
Be hetter-BETTER! Calson Greo wanted to be a PRO.
“Alright RATZ, What’ll make me less of a noob and g-”
>Git Gud Noob
“GIT GUD?”
His voice slurred, eyebrows raised as he slumped back in his gaming chair. Like a simple command burning into his skull.
He just gotta GIT GUD! No instructions needed, except you gotta be IN DA LOOP. At TOP! As his buttocks clenched at the refusal of being BOT! Cheeks meant for exercise and gamin’.
He had to GIT GUD! And that’s being on top of his game always!
>You gotta be LIT Fam
“LIT?”
A delicious fuming rage erupted from his screen, as a multitude of laughing frogs and emojis filled his entire chat.
Igniting a fire within, his skin tanning till its just RIGHT. Made for a BOI who spends time gamin’ both online and in sports. Just like every other of his classmates back on campus.
>Stop being such a QUEER
“QUEER? Da SHYT?”
SHYT, these men tryin’ to get under his skin. Really making him all pent and rock solid. NO HOMO!
Wait WUT?
DUDE! LIEK…man he’s really even sounding immature in his thoughts? Wasn’t he some sort of QUEER? DA FK? He was g…a…guy, A GUY! YEAH! He was a guy like em!
“Thought you all stand for GUY RIGHTS?”
HE ALWAYS TOPS! Yeah so maybe he had a PHAG, but it was clear they are ‘sabotaging’ his GAY STREAM and tryin’ makin’ it the way it ought to be!
Full of SHYT-talkin’, assholes are dragging him down to THEIR level. A more rodent, nastier bunch instead of friendly GHEYS! But alright! If these idiots want to game, then they gonna-
>Look PHAG, if you want to WIN you gotta stop sucking
“SUK DEEZ NUTS!”
GOTTEM
An obnoxious Tenor bursted out from the man, retaliating like an immature douchebag as he finally sunk to their level. Height stooping at an average 5ft 9, GPA scores barely scrapping by the median. A fellow backslider like the crowd.
And HE was going to let these DOUCHEBOIS get it HARD!
>Just Chillax Gay Boi
“I AM CHILLAX!”
He sneered, as his voice rose into a stupidly obnoxious loud tenor, allowing that youthful tone engulf him in an asian tan like his peers, makin’ sure he is part of the Hivemind that is Snitch culture.
“No Sweats allowed…Just CHILLAX man…”
Feeling his mind sinking into the mass rebellious conformity that is his gamin’ community, his voice cooled slightly, gifted the flexibility to yell when he WANTS to BOIIII!
His buttoned down fused, as the simple white tee clung over his frame with slackened glee, bluntly accentuating his pectorals, as a typical print was plastered over like another typical meshed up shirt that the zoomers would wear.
He was NO SWEAT, Trousers shortening up to his thighs, lightening up into a more mesh, flexible material. Hanging loose L-sized on his waist are his flaming red basketball shorts, stickin’ out like a sore thumb whenever the dude stands up or goes for a bathroom breaks.
>Yo streamer, you a player?
“Am I a play-yer?”
The young man slurred, smirking as he acknowledged that remark, teasing those thirsty PHAGS and RATZ like he always does.
ResidentSnorer and various funny frogs spammed the chat box like no other, skyrocketing his view count to the thousands.
The young Boi loved every minute of it. He was getting the fame, boi.
“Course I am, ain’t easy being this good…”
>u dating someone?
“DAY-TING?”
Slippers took a hit in their quality, soft material becoming a pair of stretchable basketball shoes. Made for the kind of guy who keeps his options open.
Both in da basketball court, and in da bed. And yeah, it was technically his home. Well, he and his GAY fiancé’s. But it’s mostly a BRO thing! Roommates with benefits!
“Boiz, I have a fiancé , but..”
>Sounds Sus
>you gay or what?
His eyes widened, SHYT, he wasn’t supposed to say that. Not that he minded the older man…except when he was being GHEY-but weren’t they a couple…of MEN.
But aren’t they together? Da SHYT! He was a playah! BUT what about that time when they cuddled-BRUH that’s GHEY! BUT WHAT ABOUT-YOU GHEY BROSKI? BRO? B-
“BUTT-FK! I mean…I MEAN my BOI-FRIEND!”
>MEGAFAG
Fiddling the ring, the band stretched beyond the size of his palm, turning into pure eleastic as it slid down his right wrist, loosely fitting like its part of some showoffy trend.
As the chat continues to spam various emotes, including a distinct rainbow head, don’t these douchebags know he’s single and ready to mingle? Why are they thinkin’ he’s gonna be bangin’ it with some dude?
“Who you noobs calling GAY? It’s just ONE night!”
> QUEER ALERT!
> GAY GAY GAY
One hand palming below, the other one flippin the stream. Colson Groh’s darkened hair flicked down the side, his new asian ethnicity fully taking hold without remorse, blending in with the group of bullies pickin’ on him and his-FAG!
“One night of PRANKIN FAGS!”
Picking on em hard, he wasn’t one of em, but man is it HOT setting them STRAIGHT! The twenty two year college dude smirked, as PHAGS couldn’t resist starin’ at his clean-shaven slack-jaw and risen cheekbones till they get completely RAT PRANKED.
GGEZ
>Ayyy LIT
>Lets go BOI
>AFKin’ RAT!
“Bet you all can’t get ladies to your doorstep.”
>Check GayPay
GayPay my arse, StraightCoin’s the deal bro.
Though speakin’ of ladies. Hot damn…is he THAT dry? Cause he’s having that fantasy every straight, gamin’ charged college guy’s has.
Surrounded by hot ladies.
Then again, he’s always THIRSTIN’. Course, a guy like him can get a bunch of women in a flash. But he totally can jerk like a maiden-less douchebag like a bunch of the idiots watchin’ him.
Makes him relatable to his RATZ, yeah? Sides, nothin’ wrong with a lil jerkin’ on cam, nothing GHEY bout it!
>Yo RAT, check out your numbers
>BRO past 7k
>NO CAP
LIT_GUD: +7k subs
“Nggh!”
Rapidly vibrating his 7 inch joystick, brows raised as they thinned out. The last bit of hesitation melting away, making way for youthful gamin’ bravado as a seedy wide grin beamed in the stream.
“How to LIT GUD getting chicks?”
>PRO-DUCTION BRO!
>GIT LIT STREAM!
>YEEEEAAAAH BOI!
Comments flooding all over his stream, a mass mindset and mentality calling all to pump. PUMP! Pumping his POG-O STICK to the MAX! The Go-To-Game for men of his kind.
The HIGH score, as his eyes narrowed in utmost dumb simplicity, tilting his head upward to the ceiling as he grinned wildly as he thought bout’ that simple fantasy!
All da LADIES comin’ at him. YAAA BOIII!
“JUST LIT GUD BOIIIIIIIIIIIIII!”
Colton Goh no scoped all over his boxers, slumping back as drops of youthful rebellion spluttered all over, mucking it with obnoxious bully testosterone like he always does.
Feels so LIT! Being able to climax whenever the heck he wants, why abstain when he can just LIT GUD MAN! All those goody two shoe brethren back at campus grounds are really missin’ out.
But of course, he’ll scoop the remaining wads of mayo to his jerk off bottle later. He may be a backslider, but he gotta be up in his production game, beat his last record and all that shiz.
Speakin’ of which.
“E….Z….”
7k’s still just rookie numbers for a guy like him, but considering he got it all in a bunch of hours, he’s as good as the pros like the rest of em’!
“Yo…and that’s how you dudes get the ladies, man.”
>AYYYOOOO
>MY STREAMER!
>YA BOIIIIII
“Boiz, if you see any gays going all homo on ya. You gotta give em the LIT GUD!”
Normally he would collab with his streaming buds, but he really oughta help his Bromies out by teachin em.
Especially ratting out GHEYS until they turn into a couple of rats like he is. And what better way than to create his own Streamin’ channel? All he got to do was be himself bro.
Brings in the subs, and sides, hot chicks dig him, and fags thirstin’ over him get weeded out until they are a bunch of rats like he and his gamer crew.
‘[TOP] Gay Dude Joined the stream’
Speaking of fags…
“Ayy, a new fag joined the stream, sweet.”
Not sure how did ‘Gay Dude’ squirmed into his ‘TOP’ friends list, but he must’ve added him during that stupid RNG game he tried last night while he drank Heteroade with the bois.
But honestly, heh, he doesn’t give a Rats arse bout em’. After all, he needed someone to dunk on to celebrate his 7k Subs, so why not make sure the fag gets the whole RatChat streamin’ experience?
Heh, this will be hot.
“Give em a couple of Lit Guds in the chat, noobs.”
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malusokay · 11 months
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How to be like Jang Wonyoung
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As many of you requested, part 2 of my it girls series is all about Jang Wonyeong, who's not only absolutely STUNNING, but also incredibly talented, hardworking, and of course successful. Let's get right into it!! <33
Wonyoungs Energy:
Wonyoung is incredibly charismatic, which makes her stand out without even trying!!
She has a bubbly and likeable Personality, Wonyoung appears happy and welcoming, she easily lights up a room with just her presence.
Aside from being cute and cheerful, Wonyoung is also known for being extremely hardworking!!
Confident and Unbothered. Despite receiving quite a bit of unnecessary hate, Wonyoung stays indifferent and true to herself!!
Elegant and feminine. No one does the ‘Elegant feminine self-love girly’ aesthetic like her, she is THE girly girl!! <3
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Mindset:
Learn to deal with jealousy, Wonyoung gets plenty of hate, but let's be real for a second… we all know that is because of jealousy. Pretty, successful, smart, and popular? Of course, people will be jealous!!
“While practising self-love, you see good and pretty things about yourself. If I focus only on those things, I don't need to pay much attention to the criticism.”
Don't compare yourself to others “You are you, I am me”.
Keep to yourself. Stop telling people your ideas, your dreams and how you plan to archive them, your goals etc. Let your actions speak for themself!! <3
No more negative self-talk!!
Be your number 1 priority!! Take care of yourself, do what's good for you, eat well, care for your body, skincare, haircare, and your education!! PRIORITIES
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Skincare
Skincare. Wonyoung has Flawless skin, finding a skincare routine that works for you can help you archive similar results!!
Wonyoungs skincare routine:
According to Google, Wonyoung only uses Innisfree products and starts by double cleansing her face, for that, she uses the Green Tea Cleansing Oil ($24), and the Green Tea Amino Acid Face Cleanser ($12)
To get the dewy class skin effect, hydration is key!! In the morning, Wonyoung likes using the Green Tea Hyaluronic Acid Serum ($30) and the Dewy Glow Tone-up Cream ($26)
Of course, you can't forget SPF. Wonyoung uses the Mild Cica Sunscreen Tone-Up SPF 50+ PA ++++, which is also great for acne-prone and sensitive skin types!! :)
For her night routine, she likes the Retinol Cica Moisture Recovery Serum ($37) and the Dewy Glow Jelly Cream ($26).
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Elevate your daily life:
Healthy diet. Eating nutritious and healthy food is the first and most important step to clear skin and an overall good feeling!! Make sure to eat enough protein (ex. yoghurt, chicken, tofu or eggs), lots of fruits and veggies, and healthy fats (ex. Avocados, fish, nuts, olive oil)!!
Exercise daily. Besides dancing, Wonyoung loves pilates!! You can find lots of great Pilates videos on YouTube!!
Work on your posture!! Having good posture will not only make you feel better but also lets you appear more confident, elegant and put together. Try daily stretching and exercises to improve it <3
Try establishing a proper morning and night routine, this can help you stay structured and relaxed even on more messy and busy days.
Content that makes you feel better!! Start watching channels like thewizardliz, vogue beauty secrets, and read motivating blogs. (like mine lol <3)
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Makeup:
Wonyoung is known for her iconic glittery and feminine make-up!!
Light pink blush, plump lips, glowy skin and a glittery but not too heavy eye look.
Foundation on the centre of your face and blend outwards for a naturally contoured look.
Always apply your matt products before your shimmers, that way, your makeup looks cleaner!! Also, apply your glitters from finest to chunkiest. :)
Don't apply your shimmers/glitters past the middle of your eyelid to avoid looking puffy.
If you have warm-toned skin, go for peachy glitters, for cool-toned skin, choose a champagne-coloured one.
If your struggle with dark under eyes, blend your concealer with your fingers!! This will give it a lot more coverage.
You can find lots of tutorials on Wonyoung-inspired make-up on YouTube, this one is my favourite.
I hope this little guide was helpful, I wasn't too familiar with Wonyoung, but I did some research since she was the number 1 most requested person for this!! :)
As always, please feel free to share your own suggestions in the comments and let me know who you want me to write about next! <3
✩‧₊*:・love ya ・:*₊‧✩
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jeanmoreauss · 12 days
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everyone's joking about jean not knowing what boba is but being chill with the nonbinary character but like for real that reaction makes more sense than you realize
the ravens care about talent and yes obviously there's some clear homophobia going on there with Jean's experiences and Kevin's "better to be straight" attitude but truly at the end of the day the ravens don't give a fuck they just want you to ignore it and pretty much all personal things in favor of the game and of being the best. not to mention exy isn't a gendered sport. i've seen people talk/joke about it before how exy is excellent for trans athletes because who's gonna give a shit when it's not separated by gender in the first place. non binary person? no big deal. the ravens are isolated sure but they do still have to exist in public and go out for games and classes they're not completely fucking stupid. i really don't find it odd at all that Jean doesn't bat an eye at the Trojan's being a very queer team
Regarding the fucking boba though Jean has been on an intensely strict diet since the age of 14. It's 2006-2007 ish at the time the books are happening. The man doesn't even know how to cook and at the time I don't believe boba was extremely popular anyway even though it was definitely still a thing. This man on a diet that definitely qualifies as disordered eating if he hasn't somehow developed an eating disorder. Is it really all that surprising that 1) he doesn't know what boba is and 2) thinks it's gross once he does find out?
idk i get it the jokes are silly haha and whatever and it's truly not that serious but I also can't get it out of my head that with Jean's experiences it does genuinely make more sense that he's more chill about being around other queer people than he is with Laila's obsession with boba
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mypimpademia · 7 months
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— College
College student! Bakugo x College student! Black! Fem! Reader
Synopsis: Headcanons of how Bakugo would be as a college student + what it’d be like to date him.
TW: Swearing, mentions of injuries, suggestive on some parts
Note: Made with the help of @katsumiiii <3. Also this is a sort of implied quirkless au bc it’s a college au but it doesn’t matter too much.
⇶ When Katsuki gets to college, he mellows out a whole lot
⇶ Of course he’s more mature than he was in high school. But now, he has a very obvious security in himself and is like a whole new person
⇶ He’s much quieter, and keeps to himself for the most part
⇶ Somehow, he’s even more focused on his goals than ever, and because of that he just doesn’t have energy to waste on cussing people out and yelling all the time
⇶ He has so much going for himself and he knows it, his priorities are set in stone and nothing can keep him from reaching his goals
⇶ Katsuki would likely major in something related to business whether it’s actually business, finance, analytics, etc, that’s all he can see himself in, and he’d fit the part well
⇶ Even though Katsuki has worked through a lot of his issues by this point, he still has a lot of frustration and stress he needs to channel
⇶ And being competitive by nature, he joins the football team and boxes on the side
⇶ Despite most of his teammates being fairly popular, Katsuki is extremely lowkey
⇶ He is still very popular, in a sense. People know him and know of him, but he minds his business and hardly speaks to most people
⇶ But of course the one person he spends as much time with as possible is his pretty girlfriend
⇶ What drew Katsuki to you initially was your determination and work ethic
⇶ You were smart, and heavily involved with the school and your peers, and he found this oddly attractive
⇶ Before getting together, you were decently known through your in involvement around campus. But after, you were both school celebrities
⇶ Everyone knew, or knew of, the two of you. And they all knew you belonged to each other
⇶ Though, you were both so busy that you’re hardly together during the week
⇶ But you always make your way towards each other by the end of the day, and compensate for lost time over the weekends
⇶ During your freshman year, you’d sneak into each others dorms for the weekend to spend time with one another
⇶ Of course, staying in a drab dorm room all day could be boring, even with company
⇶ So the two of you would always end up taking little adventures together whether it was a walk around campus, driving around town, shopping, or going out to eat, you always made sure your time was well spent
⇶ By your sophomore year, Katsuki would get his own apartment near by the campus
⇶ And although you still had a dorm, you essentially lived with him
⇶ A good chunk of your clothes and shoes were there, he bought all your body care for you so you weren’t taking it back and forth, more bonnets than you’d ever need, and of course, him.
⇶ But it was an advantage to the both of you, and your relationship. Because as busy as the two of you could get sometimes, even if you didn’t see each other the whole day, laying in the same bed at night was enough for you
⇶ During the week, even if your schedules had no alignment whatsoever, Katsuki would always make time to see you
⇶ He has a special knack for always knowing where you were at all times, and knew just when to show up, even if your location was off and you hadn’t communicated where you were to him in the slightest
⇶ This especially comes into play in the context of getting all three meals in on a daily basis
⇶ Katsuki still loves to cook, and he’s never played about having a proper diet and he won’t start with you
⇶ Even if he’s gone from his apartment by the time you wake up, there’s a nice warm breakfast sitting on his counter for you
⇶ And no matter where you are come lunch, he’ll make sure that you eat
Katsu💖: You eat yet princess?
You: Nah, I don’t have time to eat rn anyways
You: I think ima just skip lunch ngl
Katsu💖: The fuck do you mean you’re gonna skip lunch
You: I mean I’m gonna skip lunch!
Katsu💖: No tf you’re not
Katsu💖: I’m otw I’m bringing you food
You: bro
You: my location not even on rn fym you’re otw🧍‍♀️
Katsu💖: ? I don’t need your location to be on to know where you are
Katsu💖: What kind of bf would I be if I didn’t know where my gf was
Katsu💖: Especially if I just let her voluntarily starve like a dumbass
You: Alr.
Katsu💖: What do you take me for??? A fucking loser???
You: Now what if I said yes Katsuki.
Katsu💖: Then you’re not getting food
You: Yeahhhh okay😂😂😂😂
Katsu💖: I’m outside
Katsu💖: Hurry up before I change my mind🤦‍♂️
You: Ty bbg😋
Katsu💖: Do not call me that
⇶ Katsuki pulls his random “I’m outside” texts often
⇶ Usually, it’s to bring you some food, and sometimes he just misses his girl
⇶ As crazy as they may be at times, seeing that notification pop up never fails to make you smile
⇶ Nobody misses it when you smile like that either, you’re so well known as a pair that it’s expected that you’re going to see him when you basically skip out of the room
⇶ Unfortunately, being a well known pair doesn’t stop audacious people from hitting on either of you
⇶ On Katsuki’s end, he think people are insane when they approach him in such a way knowing that he’s dating you
⇶ It’s such a slap in the face whenever it happens, that he can do nothing but stare at the person like they’re stupid until they go away
⇶ On your end, Katsuki’s temper jumps out whenever people get the nerve to approach you in any sort of flirtatious way
⇶ If he’s in the area whenever it happens, he always pops up to remove the person from your space
⇶ If he’s not, you always tell him exactly what happened and the only response you ever get is, “I’ll handle it.”
⇶ Regardless of whether or not he’s present, he always handles it by having a less than friendly exchange with your pursuer that usually puts an end to things
⇶ If the person decides to persist for some reason, you become more reluctant to tell Katsuki about it
⇶ You know he cares about you, but you don’t want him stressing or putting to much energy into something that’s not worth it
⇶ But Katsuki can read you like a book, and to him, no energy that goes towards you is ever too much
⇶ Though Katsuki’s is reputation is fairly polished, it’s only blemishes come from people he ended up fighting over you
⇶ Days where neither of you are busy are both of your favorite days
⇶ They’re usually spent at his apartment, or running errands together
⇶ And of course, he squeezes in time for dates
⇶ On occasion, he’ll randomly tell you to get dressed up nice before taking you out for a fancy dinner and spoiling you with delicious food and thoughtful gifts
⇶ While you always stress about him spending so much money on you when he doesn’t let you do the same, he doesn’t mind at all
⇶ To others, Katsuki always seems to have a suspicious amount of money for a college student
⇶ It sparks some rumors, but nobody cares enough to make a big deal about it
⇶ The truth is, he makes money by modeling for his mom on the side, and makes a little off boxing as well
⇶ And if he’s being honest, most of his money goes to you
⇶ He pays for your hair products, hair, nails, clothes, random things you want, and sometimes even your groceries
⇶ Most of the time, you do small dates like picnics and study dates
⇶ He’ll set a cozy mood in his apartment with a led lights, a playlist going, candles lit, and both of you in matching pajamas
⇶ Katsuki makes snacks during breaks and gives you kisses whenever you get a question right
⇶ And what kind of boyfriend would he be if he wasn’t your personal tutor? He helps you on all and any work that you have, and if he doesn’t know jack shit about the class he’ll learn just for you
⇶ On days where just one of you is busy, you’re still attached at the hip, tagging along wherever the other goes just to be in each others presence
⇶ Game days are “secretly” Katsuki’s favorite
⇶ There’s a certain feeling that he only gets when he sees you wearing his jersey and hears you shouting his name from the stands
⇶ Runs over to talk to you whenever he gets a chance, even if he’s not supposed to be over there
⇶ Takes his good luck kisses VERY seriously, and honestly gets frustrated if he doesn’t get one both before the game and during half time
⇶ Even though he’s supposed to be with the team after games, he somehow always manages to slip away and simply go straight home with you
⇶ Half the time, he should be going to his trainers to get any cuts and bruises treated, but he’ll break a bone before he goes to a trainer instead of you
⇶ Puts it on everything that he heals extra fast when you do it, and even faster if you kiss him while you patch him up
⇶ While cleaning him up should really only take 30 minutes, it always ends up taking 2 hours because Katsuki can’t keep his hands to himself
⇶ Always going to kiss you on your lips, cheeks, and neck, always trying to hold your hands, grab at your thighs, pull you closer by your waist
⇶ You can hardly manage to ice a bruise when he gets like this
⇶ But when you finally get done cleaning him up, he thanks you and smothers you with more kisses
⇶ Cooks up a nice dinner to curl up on the couch with, and puts on a movie that you more than likely fall asleep to
⇶ But like the good boyfriend he is, Katsuki carries you to bed where he puts your bonnet on for you and crawls into bed with you
⇶ Coming home to you is by far Katsuki’s favorite part of his day, and even with the path in front of him, he thinks he’d be lost without you
Taglist: @megurulvr @ivanine @planetlunaa @rynfiles @szaplsdropthealbum @dreampurpledreams @goldenglow149 @gender-queery @roaringlion @cosmiles @tatiquichi @kxtsxkii @lillizxzz @starsoir @nikorubakugou @ruubric
Send in an ask or DM me to be added to all taglists, or fill out my form to be added to select ones.
Thank you for reading, follow for more! Comments and reblogs are appreciated! <3
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mister-ious · 7 months
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Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley at the Gym headcanons:
Nsfw mdni thx
Fuuuuuckkkkk Ghost at the gym getting pumped and his muscles bulging out of his fitted black tee, flexing and stretching while he lifts and pushes. He would grunt and groan at the very last few reps of his sets and he’d try to keep his face from contorting, just letting his eyes squint and keeping a little frown or pursing his lips.
Ghost’s tee would be damp with sweat and would cling to every groove and crevice of his muscles like a fucking glove. And fuuuck his scent.. He’d smell sooo good. Just the thought of his musk just emanating from his dirty post-gym clothing makes me feral… putting me back in a primitive state its not even funny bro.
He’d probably spend just over an hour working out. He also probably prefers calisthenics over weights for the convenience, so he’d know all these tricks, AND it would one of the reasons why he’s able to soundlessly slither around and through environments: excellent balance.
And when he does use weights, he’s more likely to use equipment like a benchpress/leg-presssince it would train both limbs at the same time so that it’s more efficient—minmaxing gym routine.
When he’s not able to go to the gym he’d workout at home/at the barracks using whatever furniture is available. If he’s at the barracks, Soap would probably join him if Soap randomly witnesses it.
Also if he’s using the gym at the military he’d put on a black surgical mask, but, if he’s not and is using a normal gym he’d go mask-off.
Ghost wouldn’t be super lean since he doesn’t give that much of a fuck about his diet. Like, he’d care about getting all of his nutrients but he wouldn’t be much of a protein fiend. He’s a big muscular man, not an instagram gym influencer.
Like that popular hc, he wouldn’t listen to music at the gym BUUUT i feel like he would keep a pair of headphones on to muffle the outside noise. He wants total silence while working out, like a weirdo. Ghost would also carry those gallon sized water bottles with him to the gym.
After his workout, he’d take an agonising cold shower—he’d poker-face through it though as if it was a normal temperature-d shower. He’d take around 25 minutes since he’s a big man with big limbs and a big body to clean. Usually, Ghost would exercise in the early hours of the morning so after his workout, he’d eat.
Ghost would probably make something Huge. Maybe a pot of slop: anything he could get his hands on in his pantry and fridge and just plopped them in a pot on some heat. Or something like a girthy breakfast burrito.
Fuuuck it’d also be nice if Ghost happened to have taken an interest in rock-climbing. I think he’d like it since there are probably similar drills to rock-climbing in his military training. So fucking hot to imagine him just scanning this wall and immediately finding the most optimal way to climb to the top. You’ll see his biceps flex and his triceps form dimples fuck
Reader-insert/nsfw part:
There would be some times where he’d get extremely horny after gym and would immediately rush back home. His cock erect, creating a tent in his sweats as he drives. He couldn’t wait so he’d pullover to some indoor parking lot and palm his swollen dick, slowly taking off his pants and briefs. He pumps his hand slowly up and down his thick length, imagining you in between his legs, kneeling down and looking up at him with those big eyes of yours.
He’d shudder at the thought of it. His dick twitching in his hand as he fucks it faster. Shaky sighs turn into grunts, grunts turn into groans, and groans turn into growls. Fuck, he’s so close.
“Fuck, love,” he hisses, thrusting into his hand as he tightens his grip.
“Ah..!” He spurts opaque ribbons onto his steering wheel and pants, gasping and writhing in his seat as his cock spasms out the last few drops, gushing down to his balls.
“Fuck.”
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Rúben Dias x Model!Reader- Life in Manchester Headcannons
Warnings: Slight reference to sexual activity at the end and possible eating disorder (nothing triggering)
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Enjoy guys 😉
Part 2 to Rúben Dias x Reader- Meeting Headcannons
• You never intended to become one of the most popular Manchester City WAGS.
• When Rúben signed with Manchester City you agreed to return with him to the UK- to the place where your Portuguese mother and British father live.
• You knew Bernardo from Rúben playing for Portugal. When he started going out with Inês you became besties and now are attached at the hip.
• When Carlota was born you became the best auntie ever!
• Double dates with Bernardo and Inês
• You’re close with all the WAGS but especially with Olivia, Isabel and Sasha. Inês, Olivia, Isabel, Sasha and you are notorious for your fun nights out which end up with your boyfriends picking you up.
• On Instagram, style accounts appear where your outfits from photoshoots, Rúben’s matches and fan photos are posted.
• Attending every single home game at The Etihad, often with Inês but sometimes other WAGS join you.
• Wearing Rúben’s shirt or something in Man City blue to show your support.
• Rúben and you are often called relationship goals; the strong, commanding footballer and the beautiful, clever model.
• When City won the treble you were crying with happiness for Rúben and the team.
• When all the the family members went on the pitch at the Champions League, Rúben just picked you up and kissed you in front of the whole world before embracing his mum, dad and brother.
• ‘I’ve never been prouder of you Ruby’
• ‘Te amo meu amor’
• ‘também te amo, Rúben’
• Rubén’s UCL medal takes pride of place on the sideboard in your apartment with his many other awards/trophies.
• Behind his awards is a large framed photo of your first Vogue cover hanging on the wall.
• ‘If I can have my football awards then you can have your first big magazine cover on the wall Gatinha’
• You were present when Rúben threw up in Jack’s mums bag. You’ve got good blackmail material now 😂
• While Rúben doesn’t drink, you love a fancy cocktail or champagne to celebrate a new photoshoot campaign or magazine cover.
• Rúben tries to convince you to drink less, he means well but it sometimes annoys you
• You both eat extremely healthily and go to the gym most days but Rúben makes you look like a couch potato sometimes.
• He’s a bit of a food critic, your cheat days often consist of things like pot noodles or iced coffees. Rúben thinks it’s a waste of calories and that you should eat something that isn’t just caffeine and chemicals.
• Rúben is also a critic of the model diet. He thinks that you don’t eat enough and is often encouraging you to eat more and telling you off when you don’t.
• You’re pushing your food around your plate. Food that Rúben cooked. His eyes are focused on you from across the table.
• ‘Not hungry?’ His brown eyes gaze at you ‘have you already eaten?’
• ‘I had some almonds for breakfast’
• He frowns deeply ‘you know that isn’t healthy meu amor’
• He may disapprove of your eating habits but he won’t shout at you about it.
• When Rúben is doing ‘homework’ by watching certain football matches for upcoming games, you sit with him. His arm is around you, with you curled up into his side.
• It often leads to neck kisses which lead to…your bedroom 🥰
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