#do not ask how long this took me to format. i can’t answer it.

[operationslipperypuppet]

here’s an insane chart of how the female naddpod npcs fall on a scale from grandma to aunt and hinged to unhinged because it’s clearly the best way to compare them to each other

everything is color coded by campaign based on first appearance (bc some c1 npcs have shown up in c3, etc).

#do not ask how long this took me to format. i can’t answer it. #naddpod #not another dnd podcast #bahumia #ba2mia #eldermourne #trinyvale #the mavrus chronicles #twilight sanctorum

[ellecdc]

Hey L saw your requests were open and was wondering if i can ask for regulus black dating headcanons? (You know one of those long, long headcanons that you can’t finish while reading bc i love reggie so much and there aren’t enough fics for him-)

Anyways. Love your works specially your remus series, a man with a plan 🥹 it’s so cute and very well written.

Mwah <3

Hey lovely!! Thanks so much for requesting - this was fun!! I love head canons. Hopefully this scratches that itch of yours

The formatting got messed up when I moved this from a word doc so my apologies - let me know if it's too difficult to follow: 💫 = head canon, -> subcategory, and anything indented is a sub-subcategory)

Dating Regulus Black Headcanons:

No voldemort AU, okay guys? I don’t fuck with that man. 

💫Falling in love with the witty (sometimes snide), smart, and quiet Slytherin was as easy as breathing – actively loving this man was NOT easy in the slightest

💫It took you months of talking, ‘accidentally’ being in the same room as him, sitting beside him in potions or the library and forcing him to talk to you before he finally went “what are you doing?”

-> “I like you” you responded

-> “Why?” he asked incredulously. Which, fair enough; you suppose he didn’t make much effort to talk back to you, or reach out to you, or participate in your conversations, but that’s not what you liked about him anyway

You liked his stoicism, it brought a sense of calm to you You liked how he didn’t always feel the need to fill the silence You liked how clever he was, and how he (even if he pretended you were exasperating) helped you with your studies when you got stuck  You liked his snide comments he made about people under his breath, and how he got surprised when you laughed at them – not really realizing he said them aloud to you to begin with  You liked his loyalty and sense of duty to the people who were important to him

-> “I just do” you settled for with a shrug of your shoulders

-> That answer didn’t exactly satisfy Regulus, but he accepted it nonetheless 

💫 He was a little bit more of a willing participant in your relationship after that 

💫 You’d come out of classrooms to find him waiting for you so he could walk you to your next class or to the Great Hall together for lunch 

💫 He’d always take a helping of your favourite food at breakfast/lunch/dinner just in case you wanted an extra serving, which he’d happily let you pick off of his plate

💫 He found out his brother was becoming an animagus during 4th year (though he didn’t know the reason) and took the attitude of “anything my brother can do, I can too.” And set out to become and animagus as well.

-> You wouldn’t let him do it alone, however

-> You both successfully became animagi and told no one.

💫 You guys never really discussed what the spending-time-with-each-other meant, Regulus had always been a little more than flighty in the past, and you didn’t want to scare him away.

💫 One evening, you were in an empty classroom trying to finish up a project where you could take up as much space as possible without bothering anyone when Regulus came bursting through the door

-> You don’t know how he even knew that you were here or how to find you, but he was clearly looking for you when his face crumpled when he found you

-> “Y/N” he whimpered

-> Without thinking, you threw your arms open, and he fell into your embrace

-> You sat in that classroom, holding Regulus as he sobbed into your chest for merlin knows how long, neither of you saying a word

-> He finally seemed to settle and pulled back from your embrace, though he wouldn’t make direct eye contact with you

-> “He left.”  He said simply

-> “Who?”

-> “Sirius, he ran away this summer, never came back. I thought – ugh – I thought when I saw him at school, I could convince him to come back home, come back to…me…”

-> You let the silence permeate in the air as he gathered his thoughts

-> “He’s not coming back, he’s…he left me. There. With them.”

-> You weren’t sure what to say – you didn’t want to disparage his family, Sirius least of all, knowing how much Regulus admired his older brother whether he admitted that out loud or not, and you knew (at least what Regulus had been willing to share with you) what the Black’s had put those boys through. 

-> You wanted to promise him he wasn’t alone – that he would always have Sirius, always have you – but it felt too much like a declaration, and you were too scared to do that when he was so fragile 

You knew he’d likely not believe you anyway – thinking you only said it to him because he was desperate to hear it

-> You settled with a simple “I’m sorry, Reggie.” And another hug

💫 Over the Christmas holidays, a black cat with grey eyes showed up at your family home

-> You called out to him, and he seemed to faint; almost as if he knew it was safe now that he’d seen you 

-> through the dark fur you could see some blood. You knew that what you couldn’t see underneath it would be far worse. You apologized to Regulus’ unconscious being before grabbing his animagus form and heading to the fireplace in your home, throwing a handful of floo powder into the hearth and calling for Potter Manor.

-> You were greeted by a well-dressed house elf

“I’m sorry to drop in unannounced. It’s an emergency. Is Sirius here?” The house elf snapped her fingers and a few moments later reappeared with a sleep rumpled Sirius “Y/N? What are you doing here?” “It’s regulus.” Sirius seemed to wake up rather quickly at that. “Is he okay?” You gently placed the cat onto the ground and cast a quick finite over his form, causing the animal to stretch back into Regulus. Sure enough, he was bleeding and bruised, though thankfully, most of his wounds seemed superficial. But he was clearly gaunt – like he hadn’t been eating or sleeping, and he was passed out from sheer exhaustion.

💫 Regulus stayed with the Potter’s ever since. He wouldn’t speak to you for some time after that however, feeling slightly betrayed that you brought him to Sirius

-> “I came to you, Y/N. If I’d wanted Sirius’ help, I would have asked for it!”

-> “Like hell you would have! You’ve never once accepted a lick of respite from anyone in your life. Martyrdom doesn’t suit you, Regulus - grow up.”

-> “It was my choice to make!”

-> “You were unconscious! For all I knew, you could have been dying. I had to make that choice for the both of us!”

-> “Perhaps I made a mistake then.”

The ‘trusting you’ went unsaid, but you both heard it. It crushed you.

-> “Fuck you, Regulus. I’m done.”

💫 It was awkward back at school; you hadn’t realised that much of your daily rituals were accompanied by him 

-> You stopped sitting at the spot he saved for you in the Great Hall – and eventually, you stopped eating in the Great Hall altogether, opting to visit the kitchens to eat instead.

-> He stopped waiting for you outside of classes, and he no longer carried your books around the castle. 

-> He didn’t help you with your homework

-> You didn’t cheer him on in his Quidditch games 

💫 Sirius approached you one day in the library

-> “Hiding from my brother in the library? Not a very good spot, love.”

-> “What do you want, Black?”

-> “Ouch, last names. What’d I ever do to you.”

-> You took a steadying breath – you wanted to lash out at him, but he was right, he wasn’t the one who hurt you

-> “What do you want?” you tried again

-> “We’re mean…the Black’s. We don’t…treat people very well. I don’t mean to make excuses; there is no excuse. But we weren’t treated very well ourselves. It takes a lot of unlearning.”

->You stared into his eerily similar grey eyes. “Is that all?”

-> “Hurt people, hurt people. And it’s usually the people we love the most, because they’re there. It’s not right, but I just thought you should know.” He offered you a sad smile and a squeeze of your shoulder before he left.

->You understood what he was saying, but it didn’t make you feel any better

💫 One of your housemates approached you with a package the next day. “You weren’t at breakfast, and the owl seemed very upset she couldn’t deliver this, so I promised her I’d bring this to you.”

-> It was a small square shaped package – pure white paper with a black bow on it 

-> Inside was a small charm bracelet – silver – with one charm on it. A purple hyacinth. Constancy, regret, sincerity. 

-> You shoved the bracelet in its box and into your bag and carried on with the rest of your day.

💫 “Y/N?” You heard him call quietly as he rapped twice on the door to the empty classroom you were holed up in 

-> You turned to look at him with a glare you’re sure could have rivalled one of his

-> “I was hoping we could talk.” He continued as he made his way inside.

-> “Why? You think a gift makes everything okay again?”

-> Regulus grimaced as he sat across from you. “I’m not great at apologies.”

-> You scoffed. “Yeah, seeing as you haven’t actually made one…” You sat in an awkward sort of stare off before you shook your head and moved to pack your things

-> “Y/N, wait please. I-” he reached across the table and gently grabbed your wrist. You could see a small portion of a silver chain (matching the charm bracelet you had in your bag) on his wrist. “I’m sorry…I, I was wrong.”

-> You stopped your packing and watched him as he searched for the right words 

-> “You saved my life that night. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. I shouldn’t have blamed you for anything – I should have just thanked you. Better yet, I should have told you how much I love you.”

-> You felt your breath catch in your throat. “love me?” you whispered

-> Regulus nodded and pulled out two charms from his pocket: a yellow lily (gratitude) and a rose…that one was pretty self explanatory.

-> You pulled out the box from your bag and allowed Regulus to attach the charms and clasp it on your wrist.

-> “I don’t think I’m going to ever be as good at loving you as you deserve, and I know I’m not easy to love, but I’m hoping you’ll give me a chance to try.”

-> You saw nothing but earnestness and determination in his eyes

-> “I forgive you.”

💫 Regulus is a HUGE gift giver – really the only way he ever saw ‘love’ (or the Black’s messed up version of it) was through giving/receiving gifts. So that’s the best way he was able to express his love for you 

💫 You quickly learned that his love language (the way he received it) was through words of affirmation. He didn’t have anyone tell him he was loved, cherished, and appreciated growing up – you flustered him every time you complimented him. You delighted in the raging blush he’d get, especially if you whispered something in front of his friends. 

-> You also gifted him his own charms for his bracelet that matched yours

💫 On nights you couldn’t sleep, you’d meet him in the Astronomy tower where he’d teach you the constellations and the mythology behind them.

💫 Black’s are very territorial, but I don’t see Regulus being super loud about it. Like he wouldn’t make loud proclamations of ‘ownership’ or love, but he’d always be there

-> Think, staring hard at the other person flirting with you in the Great Hall

-> Taking a lock of your hair and moving it behind your ear or just twirling it between his fingers if someone looks at you too long 

💫 This man is SO unapproachable to everyone 

-> Stony faced ALWAYS – major RBF

-> Scowls at people who stand too closely to him, talk too loudly, say something dumb 

-> Did not let anyone touch him. Ever. Barty gets too close at breakfast = Barty ends up ass over tea kettle on the stone floor. Sirius throws an arm over his shoulder = Sirius getting an elbow to the gut

💫 So, you could imagine everyone’s surprise that when you come up from behind him where he’s sitting, lazily throw your arms over his shoulders and run your fingers through his hair, the man is practically purring. The softest smiles and eyes no one ever thought Regulus Black was capable of when he looked at you

-> “It’s like a different person. This isn’t the real Regulus, just some freaky clone.” Sirius once said.

💫 You blew his mind introducing him to muggle movies 

-> He’s a crier at all sad parts – even animated movies

💫 And he kept his promise – you gave him the chance to try, and he spent the rest of his life trying to love you the way you deserved to be

#regulus black x you #regulus black x reader #regulus black #marauders era #marauders au #marauders fanfiction #regulus deserved better #sirius and regulus #the black brothers #black brothers #regulus black deserved better #regulus black headcanons #dating regulus black #dating regulus black headcanons #animagus #ellecdc fics

[carmyboobear]

how do you think losing your v card to carmy would be like?

WOW. I have to just share my thoughts in a messy format for now but i will HAVE to write a fic about this. I honestly never thought about this before but now I’m feeling…sweaty!

Read more bc I got carried away, includes: fingering!!!!!!!!!!!!😳

As we all know I’m a virgin Carmy truther… but for this I can’t stop thinking about the idea of like…a newly experienced Carmy that’s really eager to please. Like he’s still been bitchless for most of his life LOL. Ig the specifics aren’t super important tho

He would take it slow, ask you a lot of questions. “Do you like it when I touch you like this?” He would ask, carefully rubbing circles in your clit. “Tell me,” he would say if you didn’t answer. He’s sweet, but I think he likes seeing the effect he has on you. He’s gentle, but can’t resist pushing your buttons (in a good way). He rubs your clit until you come, ensuring you’re wet enough to take his fingers.

What I’m REALLY thinking about is how he would open you up next. Oh my god. He starts with just one finger, pushing in slowly, massaging your clit with his other hand.

“You’ve never been filled up before, so I gotta make sure you’re ready for me,” he’d say, explaining why he keeps fingering you even though you swear you’re ready for him, you promise. One becomes two, his index and middle slowly scissoring you, and then that becomes a third one. You’re far wetter than you ever have been and you’re not sure if he shows signs of stopping. He took his other hand off your clit a while ago so you wouldn’t come, but sometimes it idly traces your folds curving around the shape of his fingers.

“I’ve fingered myself before,” you’d argue, but the argument sounds weak when he’s three thick fingers deep into your pussy. He knows this, too. He’d like to see that another time.

“I know, baby. Just a little longer.” You’re not sure how long it’s been, but the truth is, he’s kept you there for 30 minutes, just slowly working you open. And now he’s sneaking a fourth finger inside. “Does it hurt?” He’d ask gently. “Rub your clit if you need it, but don’t come.”

Finally, finally, after working you up to four fingers, you’re loose and open for him. Sure enough, he fits like a dream, and even then, you can feel why he worked you open the way he did. Carmy is thick, and he fills you up.

You don’t last long, not with how much Carmy’s fingered you. Your come so hard, gasping at the raw feeling of coming on his cock. You’re clenching and so wet that Carmy comes super quickly after. He got pretty worked up, hearing you moan so much for him earlier.

“Was that good for you?” He’d ask after when you guys are cuddling post-sex, like he didn’t just finger blast you. “So I know for next time,” he’d say, and by the look on his face, he can tell the answer you’re gonna have to his question. Smug ass LOL

Sooooo yeah. That is my vision (bows and leaves the room)

#carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto #the bear #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #the bear fx #jeremy allen white #carmy x reader #carmen berzatto x you #carmy berzatto x you #my blurbs #my asks #my smut #I think ppl are rly into the idea of losing a v card for different reasons than I explored here but I hope y’all can still enjoy

[bartxnhood]

second chance | c.b

colby brock x fem!reader

summary: you’ve been bottling up your emotions for too long, when colby finally returns from an investigation you blow up. he begs for a second chance.

warnings: angst, mild language, argument.

a/n: back with another colby blurb bc i literally cant get him out of my mind lol. this was kinda inspired by a song so i will link it below and you can listen while you read if you want !! enjoy ! feedback is appreciated.

requests open

not proofread

Copyright © 2023 bartxnhood. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.

✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵

you frantically began throwing random items of clothing into your bag, rummaging through drawers, your shared closet, and the bathroom. getting what you needed for a few days away.

you were so tired of being alone. katrina was visiting her family, and sam and colby were on their filming trip which left you alone at the house. of course, you could just go home but you didn’t have the money for a flight at the moment and you were too keen on the idea of driving across the state alone.

so you just decided to stay back at the house.

but you were finally at your breaking point. colby was coming home today, but you just had enough. you needed a breather and the only way you’d get that is getting out and away.

you heard commotion downstairs and you took that as he and sam were home. “babe! i’m home!” colby announced coming upstairs, but when he opened the bedroom door he didn’t expect the scene in front of him.

colby asked, “where are you going?” as he dropped his bags to the floor. “staying with a friend” you answered, zipping up your bags and throwing them over your shoulder. you made a b-line for the door but, colby stopped you. “why?” you looked ahead, not wanting to face him.

he knew you were mad, he couldn’t understand why you were though. colby didn’t know about your loneliest nights, the ones you’d scream and cry yourself to sleep because of his lack of attention and time differences. he didn’t know how much you were suffering while he was out having fun recording his videos. you never told him.

“i just need to get out, colby.” you never called him that, it was always ‘colbs’ or ‘hun’. he pulled you back, you finally looked at him. “what’s wrong? talk to me” “nothing's wrong! im fine!” you weren’t. you wanted to punch him and call him stupid for not seeing your pain. colby sighed, “then why are you leaving?” finally, you snapped.

“because i’m tired!” you dropped your bags, your chest burning with anger. “i’m so tired of being left here alone for weeks, sometimes months while you’re gone. i know you’ve offered to let me join but you know i hate that stuff, colby.” it all came pouring out. “i’m so tired of waiting for you” you began punching and pushing his chest, the damn opened and tears flowed down your face. “i’m. so. tired!” his arms held you tightly but you fought back, and you cried, “don’t!” colby’s eyes were starting to tear up. “i wake up every fucking day reaching for you but you’re not here.”

“y/n..i..” he was at a loss for words, running a hand through his hair. “please just don’t leave, let’s talk this out, please.” he reached for your hand, pulling you closer his other hand held your chin up. “what can i do?” you blinked away tears blurring your vision, “i..” you fell silent, unable to think straight. colby added, “use your words.”

“just please don’t be so distant. i miss us, i miss you. i miss everything, and i just can’t be alone anymore.” colby nodded, “okay. i won’t leave. i promise” he wrapped his arms around your neck holding you closer than ever.

it had been a few hours since the fight, and now the two of you sat by the fire outside sharing a blanket. “im sorry for what i said and how i handled it. i was just so frustrated”

he hummed, “don’t apologize, im glad you told me. i think i needed to hear it” colby kidded your temple. “just promise me one thing, don’t shut me out. please” the pad of his thumb caressed your cheek. “i’ll be better too, i’ll stay home more often, kay?” you nodded, smiling. “i love you, colbs” he pecked your lips once more, “i love you too, y/n/n. i promise i’ll never act like that again. i’m sorry i put you through so much pain.”

#colby brock x you #colby brock x y/n #colby brock angst #colby brock fic #colby brock fluff #colby brock x reader #colby brock fanfic #colby brock imagine #colby brock #colby x reader #Spotify

[bel1ewrites]

Hi, I have a request for melissa barrera x reader.

Melissa and reader have been together for five years. They've also starred in, 'In the heights. Keep breathing. Scream 5 and Scream 6' and Melissa is asked about how she feels working with her girlfriend. Reader is in an interview with Jasmin and Mason, while Melissa is with Jenna and Courteney. (Reader also likes to mess around with Jasmin on set and behind the cameras (in interviews) to make Melissa and Jenna laugh.)

a/n: sorry this one took me so long! Let me know if you like it <3

It's Easy With Her (Melissa Barrera x Reader)

Description: Melissa decides to trick you.

WC: 1k

Warnings: alcohol consumption, prob a 6/10 on the cringe scale.

THE formatting of this interview was odd, you thought to yourself as Jasmin and Mason took their seats on either side of you. There was a camera situated a few feet away, centered perfectly to capture all three of you at the table. The crew sat just out of frame, weird filming tech surrounding them, and a mic had been pinned to the collar of your freshly ironed suit. It wasn’t that you’d never done interviews like this before, but they would usually have someone there to ask questions. There wasn't, and everything here was… white?

“Alright, we’re all set! Rolling in three, two…” 

“Hi, I’m Jasmin Savoy Brown.”

“Hi, I’m y/n y/l/n.”

“I’m Mason Gooding, and today we’ll be playing a good old fashioned game of truth or drink here on Cut.”

Your blood ran cold as the words left his mouth. Truth or drink? Since when? You were under the impression that you’d be here for an hour or two, dodge a few odd questions, and be back in your hotel room with Melissa in no time; happy and sober. 

“We are?” you laughed nervously, hand reaching to scratch your neck. You eyed Jasmin, then Mason, then the camera. Then, for good measure, you eyed them all again. 

“No way…” Mason gawked before both he and Jasmin broke out in obnoxious laughter, making you cover your ears to escape the sound. “We told-” Jasmin began, attempting to catch her breath, “We told Melissa to tell you!”

“She told me it was just an interview!” you exclaimed, dropping your head to the table. The crew quickly asked if you were okay to continue, you answered with an unenthusiastic thumbs up before sitting back in your chair and composing yourself. 

Someone came on set, bringing a tray with shot glasses and some sort of clear liquid. They set a shot glass in front of all three of you, placing the liquor in the middle of the table and making sure it didn’t block your face.

“Well, since I’m in the middle of the table,” you smiled menacingly, “It wouldn't make sense for me to be asked first, would it?”

You grabbed one of the cards in front of you, directing your question towards Mason. “Mr. Gooding this one's for you. Fuck, mary, kill Courteney, me, and Melissa. And the card doesn’t say this, but describe how you would do each.”

He blinked, poured a shot, and then… paused. “I would kill you and dump your body in the Pacific,” he answered before downing the liquid with a grimace. 

Your jaw dropped as you basked in his audacity. Jasmin punched his shoulder from across the table, laughing and handing Mason a card to read for you. 

“Oh, I can’t ask this…” he bit his knuckle and looked at you with a glint in his eye. “But I will. My dear friend, describe Melissa’s favorite sex position.”

You paused, thinking about the repercussions of this answer. Sure, she’d be mad, but she’s the one who tricked you into this. 

“She goes through phases, but right now she’s on a real… oh I don’t know what it's called. It’s like, one person sits behind the other one and like rests their head on their shoulder and reaches around and-”

“Okay! Okay we get it, thank you!” Jasmin cut you off, hands covering her ears. “Thanks so much!”

“No problem,” you smiled, picking up a card for her. “Jasmin, light of my life, please tell us who’s the most annoying on set and why,�� you directed her, batting your eyelashes innocently. 

“Oh this is easy,” she smiled, batting her eyelashes right back at you. “You and Melissa.”

“What?!?! Why us?!?!”

“Oh she’s so right.” 

“You guys never stop complimenting each other and you can’t spend more than five seconds apart,” she elaborated. “It’s absolutely disgusting.” 

“Suck my balls, Jasmin Savoy Brown. Suck my balls.”

—-----------

Melissa smiled as Courteney and Jenna bickered from across the table. She was sat in the same chair that you had previously occupied, and had just asked Jenna who would die first in an apocalypse. Of course, she said Courteney. 

“Let's talk about how fast you died in ‘X’, Jenna!”

“That’s different you witch!”

“Okay why don't we just agree that you’d both die immediately and move on,” suggested Melissa, handing a card to Jenna who took it begrudgingly.

“Fine, little miss perfect. Who do you think is the most fun on set and why?”

Courteney snorted, “I wonder who it’s gonna b-”

“Definitely my talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique girlfriend,” she smiled at you, currently sitting with the crew and drunk off your ass. You let out a loud cheer and a slurred, “That’s me by the way!”

“Never a dull moment with her, even after five years. She always finds a way to make a long day feel… less long for lack of better words. Her and Jasmin are always fucking with me, even when they don’t need to be on set for the day. She’s just overall the brightest light in my life and she’s been with me through thick and thin. I don’t know where I’d be without her-” (“I think I’m gonna throw up,” the other two women said in unison) “-she’s done so much and I can’t thank her enough. It’s just… easy with her”

The room had gone silent, except for Jenna’s occasional mock gag. Melissa looked back over at you, only to find you stumbling onto the set; arms wide as you pulled her into a hug.

#sam carpenter #samantha carpenter x reader #screamxi #scream #melissa barrera #melissa barrera x reader #jenna ortega #courteney cox #mason gooding #jasmin savoy brown #wlw #fluff #lesbian

[starcrossedreaders]

Hi!! I really love ur leon fics and i was wondering if you could write a leon x poetic reader fic? Like Reader always writes in her book and leon always wonders what shes always scribbling about so then this one day he caught her writing in her book again and kinda snatches it off her bc hes so curious then finds out that shes been writing poems about leon? AAAHG Please I love poems and Leon so much

Thank you so much💕💕

Authors Note: This was a dream to write, thank you so much for requesting it. When writing this I pictured re2 and re4 Leon and a reader that you watch grow together over time. I would also like to apologize if the formatting is wonky, I didn't write this directly on Tumblr sooo...I hope you enjoy it!

Warnings: Brief mentions of sex, a lil angst

 September 13,

i’ve never seen eyes as blue as his. 

i would never need a blue sky

If i was with him.

“Leon…” Shaking this beautiful stranger's hand for a heartbeat too long was never your intention but here you are.

Clearing his throat you finally let go letting out a nervous laugh as you step back. His voice was smooth as the words he spoke rolled off his tongue. “I’m really sorry about spilling your coffee. Let me make it up to you.”

You could barely hear him above the heartbeat in your ears as he spoke up again. “How about another coffee? You free Sunday?” 

It took you a second to process his words “Uh- yea, yea Sunday works.” Stuttering was not how you wanted to respond.

A faint blush crossed over your face as he smiled back. “Great, Let’s meet down at the cafe at 9?” His statement was more of a question: a confirmation.

“Okay, 9 works great.”

“Great.”

“Great.” Leon chuckled and walked off as you awkwardly waved him goodbye.

Turning back you smacked your head a few times calling yourself stupid. “Great? Who the fuck says that.” Letting out a sigh you walked back to your small apartment.

                                                                       September 17,

The bitter liquid seemed…

Sweet; with him across from me.

He would soon turn into my coffee.

Sweet, Addictive, caffeine.

He’s like caffeine.

Pure gold.

“So what are you studying?” Leon stirred the second scoop of sugar into his coffee before taking a sip and giving a slight nod in approval. 

You made sure to take note of that before answering. “English Lit, with a business minor. What about you?” You ask as you take a sip of your own bittersweet drink.

Placing his mug down he shakes his head a little. “College is not my strong suit, I’m actually in the police academy.” He says with a prideful smile.

                                                                   September 20,

His smile.

His smile makes me want to fall.

Fall like the shooting stars that scatter.

Down

Down 

Down.

Soon to make someones wish come true.

The ding of your phone brought you out of your reality of dragons and war. Sighing you placed your bookmark between the pages to see who texted you. Looking at the notification made you smile.

Leon: I had a great time on Sunday, we should do that again sometime. :)

You: We should, I owe you a coffee now since you paid. 

Leon: I can’t let a beautiful girl like you pay for an insanely overpriced latte.

You: Quite the gentlemen you are.

Leon: It’s what I do best.

                                                              October 12,

Whoever said falling in love in October was a fever dream was right.

I was falling

And fast.

With my eyes closed tight 

Heart firmly grasped I awaited.

Awaited that fall.

Awaited for the loud shatter

Broken bones and dried tears.

Stars scattered the night sky as soft music played through Leon’s Jeep speakers. His arm wrapped around your sent shock waves through your body as he rubbed his thumb back and forth. Your head laid over his beating heart as you guys lay in the back of his car, star gazing.

“That there,” He pointed to a cluster of stars. “Is the Cassiopeia constellations.” Leon’s heartbeat was steady as his voice reverberated through his chest.

“It’s also called the ‘W’ constellation because well, it’s shaped like a ‘W’.” He let out a small laugh before he continued. “She was friends with Aphrodite and was the goddess of Fantasy and of seas. She was a queen, a very confident one at that. She would go on and on about how her daughter Andromeda was more beautiful than the sea nymphs known as Nereids.” 

His soft voice eased into your body putting you at ease as he went on. “Poseidon, the Greek God of the sea wasn’t very happy.”

“Aren’t sea nymphs bad though?” Your question caught Leon off guard. He wasn’t expecting you to be listening to his rambles.

“They are vengeful creatures. After Cassiopeia claimed her daughter's beauty was unmatched they felt insulted; hurt. So in return, they became vain creatures.” You hummed in understanding.

“Eventually, they went ravaging her kingdom, soon sending her to the stars.” 

                                                              October 18,

It was once believed that Zeus,

King of Gods

Had split us, Humans, in half.

Cursing us with a life full of journeys to find our other half.

And I think I just found mine.

Leon’s hand smoothed over your leg as you sat in the back of his Jeep once again. Sitting in the trunk Leon sat at the edge swinging a leg outside of the car while you sat across from him, stretched out. The faint sounds of crickets talking filled the silence.

“Look,” Pointing at the sky you let out a big smile. “A shooting star.” Leon followed where you pointed in awe.

Looking back at him you felt all giddy. “What did you wish for?” Leon slowly brought his attention back to you.

His blue eyes shimmered in the midnight sky, the stars reflections looking right back at you. Letting a boyish smile through a faint blush painted his cheeks.

“You.”

                                                              October 28,

Who knew lips as soft as his could send fire to your bones.

With one kiss he melted me.

He had brought those bright stars to me

And made my wish come true

As i fell.

White knuckles gripped the bed sheets above you as hot breath fanned over your face.

 “You’re doing so good baby.” His words were soft, cushioning the pain you felt.

Eyes squeezed shut a single tear ran down the side of your face. Trying his best to comfort you Leon opened your hands to hold them through it all, giving it three squeezes.

I love you. Opening you’re eyes you’re met with Leon looking back down at you with a smile. “There you are.”

Leaning down he placed his soft lips against yours, bringing you down from the stars.

                                                            May 5th

Nothing hurts more then watching you leave.

Leave the small apartment.

Leave the small city.

Leave the state.

Leave my life.

Leave my touch.

Leave my embrace.

“No Leon!” You threw your hands in the air. “How can I be happy and proud of you when you are leaving.” Tears brimmed your eyes and the world became blurry.

Leon stood up and hugged your for what would seem to be the last time in a long time. Kissing the crown of your head he rubbed your back as he mumbled. “I’ll come back. You know home is with you.”

                                                              September 26,

Home was…

Different.

He was different.

Broken, tired, scared, hopeless.

He was

gone.

“Come on Love, you have to eat.” Walking in the dark room, all you could make out was an outline of Leon’s limp body.

He’s been in this depressive hole every since he came back from Raccoon City and survived the incident. There was nothing more that Leon wanted to do then stay in bed with you, holding you. He was tired, so so tired. 

Sitting down on the edge of the bed you rubbed his leg through the comforter hoping to bring any sort of relief to the hell he’s lived thorough; even if it was small. You frowned at his lack of response. 

All you wanted was Leon back.

                                                              December 22,

He wasn’t coming back.

Not his old self at least.

I’m slowly watching him fade away.

Slipping through the cracks.

The only part that keeps him here is the metal wrapped around my finger.

“You’re home?” Quickly you closed your tattered-up leather notebook and stood up.

“Yea…I’m home.” Leon said suspiciously as you walked up to him and hugged him.

Leon hesitianly hugged you back before his voice vibrated between your bodies. “What’s in that notebook? I always see you with it.” 

Eyes wide you pull back from the hug. “Nothing of importance.” You laughed nervously.

“Seriously love, it seems important. You keep that thing with you at all times, always writing in it.” He walked over to where you threw the book on the coffee table. “Ever since college.” He leaned down slightly to pick it up.

Rushing over to him you tried to grab the notebook but it was too late.

                                                         December 24,

I am yours,

The way the sea,

Belongs to the moon

Belongs to the sky.

I love you.

There is no limit to what I can give you.

Even when this world is long forgotten,

A whisper of dust between stars.

I will love you.

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Taglist: @hermizery @alewesker @ballorawan740 @lastaceylia00 @chunnies @d10nsaint@darklinxx

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[psychedelic-ink]

We Fall Like Snow ║ Part Ⅰ

After the events that took place at the Cliff Beasts set, needless to say as his bodyguard (and friend) you became overprotective of Dieter. You have all your worries under control until you accidentally flip over a young fan by grabbing her wrist, causing the media to stir with speculations as to why. Luckily Dieter's family arrives in the nick of time, scooping you both from New York to their cozy cabin; however, winter wonderland can't last forever and you need to face the consequences of your actions sooner or later.

pairing: Dieter Bravo x bodyguard!ofc; Amina Addams, written in reader format

chapter summary: You and Dieter are late for a Q&A. Again.

word count: 4.5k

chapter warnings: weed use, dieter having a filthy mind (and a wild s.ex life), cursing, so much banter, minors dni

**dividers by the amazing @saradika

The floor might as well be drenched in grease by how slippery it was.

Your poor sneakers glide across the marble tiles, nearly making you trip as you climb two steps at a time. Adrenaline pumps through your veins, heart hammering in your chest, you force your legs to move faster. You can feel each individual muscle throbbing. It was stupid of you to expect Dieter fucking Bravo of all people to show up on time.

You’ve been waiting by the car for nearly half an hour, already late for the signing. His fans are used to it by now, but that doesn’t mean you enjoyed being late to these events, and Shannon –Dieter’s ever passive- aggressive manager– had graciously put you in charge of his time table. You still aren’t sure why. You’re the bodyguard; the person that slaps his hand whenever he puts his grubby little mitts on something containing peanuts. Occasionally you’ll push away a fan or two. Generally speaking, for such a riot of an actor, he has calm admirers. There was one incident that nearly got him harmed.

Finally reaching the door, you aggressively punch it, the sound echoing throughout the entire hotel. When you detect no movement you knock again, this time accompanied by your sheer shout of his name.

“Dieter! Get your butt out of the bed– NOW!”

Just as you’re about to knock again, the door opens wide, leaving your fist awkwardly hanging in the air. In the threshold stands a disheveled, yet happy-, looking woman. She’s probably in her thirties, with long red hair, and her lash line smudged with eyeshadow. Her smile is lazy and kind as she looks at you. Is she high? God if you’re out there, please tell me he’s not high.

“Hi,” she greets you, her voice sultry. “Can we help you?”

You peer above her shoulder and see Dieter full on french kissing a brunette man on top of his luxurious king size bed. The bedding slides down the man’s body, revealing his perfectly sculpted ass. A soft moan reaches your ears, and your face becomes heated.

Ignoring the woman, you step inside, your hand conveniently wrapping around the metal doorknob, the coolness of it gives you some semblance of peace.

“Dieter!” you hiss between clenched teeth. He parts from the man with a smack and meets your gaze. His brows furrow, incohesive sounds leaving his kiss swollen lips. He fucking knows he’s in trouble.

“Shit,” he breathes out. The man turns to face you, his perfect ass matching his perfect face. Dieter turns to grab his phone. “What time is it? Did we fuck until morning?”

The woman giggles; you hadn’t noticed before but the front of her robe is open, her breasts bouncing as she shifts from one leg to the other. “I guess so,” she answers cheekily.

“We’re late for the panel. Get your butt out of bed right now.”

“Yes ma’am,” Dieter says. Before doing what you asked him to, he quickly presses his lips into his lover’s. “See you later Eduardo,”

“Awwww,” he bemoans, chasing the actor’s lips. “Can’t you stay?” his eyes flit to yours. “She can join us if she wants to, the more the merrier,”

Dieter wrestles with his pants, barely able to get one foot in.

“She’s not into that,” he replies slightly breathless, then he stops and looks at you, eyes full of curiosity. “Are you?”

“I swear if you don’t leave this room in ten seconds I’m dragging you out naked, paparazzi be damned,”

“Kinky,” the woman grins.

Your fingers tighten around the doorknob.

“I can’t believe we’re late. Again.”

With one hand, you quickly usher Dieter into the limo, using the other to text Shannon that you’re on your way. The driver starts the car, a low hum filling the inside.

“I’m hungry,” Dieter groans, scratching the back of his head.

You eye the sidewalk, the brown paper bag containing a chocolate muffin and a cup of coffee idly laying sideways next to the back tire. The dampness of the pavement had seeped into the bag, the coffee also spilt, turning it into a mushy, disgusting mess. You let out a sigh, climbing into the car right after Dieter. You originally had placed the bag on top of the trunk lid; it must’ve fallen with the wind or something.

The car starts to move and you internally curse at the driver for not keeping an eye on Dieter’s breakfast.

“We’ll just have to get something there,” you say, fishing out a small kitkat bar from your bag. “This is going to have to suffice,”

He takes it with gratitude and a lazy smile.

“Thanks.” Hhe leans into the soft seats of the limo, fingers playing with the edge of the wrapper. “I am really sorry by the way, time kinda flew by,” clearing his throat, he adds,. “Is Shannon mad?”

“Well, she ain’t happy,”

“I should send her a bouquet,”

“You did that last time,”

“Box of chocolates?”

“Did that the time before,”

“Muffin basket?”

“That’s new.”

The smile he gives you is wide and bright and you can’t help but mimic the expression. His gaze is soft as he looks at you, his fidgeting with the wrapper stopping abruptly.

“Could you tell Kate then? Before I forget.”

Without an answer, you quickly text Kate, his assistant, to send Shannon a nice and elegant muffin basket. While you do so you hear Dieter peeling open the wrapper of his unhealthy breakfast, the voice of his favorite youtuber follows.

For the upcoming months, Dieter’s schedule is packed. He’d been cast in an upcoming dystopian blockbuster hero movie. It sounded interesting enough, but while he explained the plot, you were already thinking about the arrangements that needed to be made. Thanks to this new project, he didn’t have much time to relax, so these short limo rides were his little moments of escape.

Seeing that you got a “thumbs up” emoji from Kate, you push the phone back into your pocket. Now that the two of you are actually on your way, you’re relaxed, a ticklish sensation laving across your skin as you melt into the leather seats, the smooth drive pushes your brain into a nearly sleepy state.

Your gaze follows the shops on the street, now that Halloween and Thanksgiving were things of the past, everyone had busted out their Christmas decorations. You enjoy this time of year, the city becomes colorful and bright, the smell of gingerbread following you no matter where you go.

“They were really nice,” Dieter suddenly states, drawing you out of your Christmas- fueled thoughts. “I wish you could’ve spend more time with them,”

“Who?”

“Eduardo and Isabel,” he scrunches up the wrapper and stuffs it into his pocket, dropping his phone to his lap. “They showed me around,”

“Are they actually friends of yours or two people you met at the after party?” You have no doubt in your mind that it’s the latter;, your lips curl into a mischievous smile. You cock an eyebrow, face contorting with confusion. “I thought you came to New York before, what do you mean they ‘showed you around’?”

“I might’ve said I’m new in town,” he grins, wiggling his eyebrows. “I like the attention,”

“As if you don’t have enough of that already,”

He ignores your playful jab and indulges in his train of thought.

“We should meet them again, the four of us,”

“Is this an attempt to lure me to bed with you?”

“It’ll be fun,”

“I have no doubt about that,” your expression grows smug when you see that he wasn’t expecting that answer. “I’m not saying no because it’ll be boring, I’m saying no because I’m your bodyguard. What if someone bursts into the bedroom with a gun? What am I supposed to do when I’m butt naked?”

You exaggerate your words with your hand movements, “Am I supposed to search the floor for my holster while some maniac holds a gun to your head?”

“You can keep the holsters on,”

You hold your breath as discreetly as you can. Dieter leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees. How far he can reach surprises you, the brush of his knuckles against yours prompts you to let out the breath you’ve been holding. His pupils devour the color of his eyes, his gaze burns your skin, a feeling that should hurt but doesn’t. His tongue licks over his bottom lip. Your eyes drop to his neck when he swallows.

As he speaks again his voice comes out low and sultry, like he’s out of breath. “That would be so hot. And, like, imagine you shooting a dude while riding my cock,”

“Dieter–”

“Not killing him, of course, just shooting the gun out of his hand. Like a cowboy,”

You snort at the image, quickly covering your mouth. He pulls back, fingers absentmindedly scratching his chin. The heat from the brief brush of skin lingers. Dieter appears none the wiser.

You bite the tip of your tongue. His innuendos affect you more and more each day;, it’s infuriating, especially when he does it so nonchalantly. His eyes look up to the limo’s ceiling, and your cheeks heat up. Is he still thinking about you in holsters?

You’re just about to tell him to stop when he speaks again.

“Wait, would it be cowgirl instead? What do you call a female cowboy? Or does the word cowboy include everyone?”

The heat disappears as soon as it comes, leaving you feeling icy cold.

“Gendered terminology is a bitch,”

“Cowperson?”

“That sounds like a superhero with cow powers,”

He starts to mumble the spider-man theme song from 1994. Maybe he is high after all.

“…does whatever a cow can. Eats some grass, any kind. Crushes thieves just like…uh,”

“Bugs?” you offer.

“Why would a cow crush a bug?”

“Why is Cowperson eating grass? They’re still human, that’s not really a super power,”

“It’s to make their cow-powers more powerful. You need to read more comic books.”

“Who are they? Popeye?”

“Hey, if Popeye can eat spinach and grow strong I don’t understand why our cow-hero can’t,”

You pinch the bridge of your nose, you feel a headache sneaking its way to your temples.

“Why are we talking about cow themed superheroes?”

“You said you would fuck me with the holsters on,”

“I said no such thing,”

The limo comes to a steady halt, you don’t even need to look outside to know you’re here. The muffled screams that seeps through the gaps of the car is enough to let you know that there’s a crowd outside. Dieter seems unbothered by it, his soft molten gaze still glued to you curiously. Suddenly, it gets harder to breathe; like someone squeezing your throat. Licking your lips, you slide towards the door, mentally preparing yourself for the fans outside.

“We’re on, Mr. Bravo.”

It takes you everything not to think of the last sentence he said to you. “You said you would fuck me with the holsters on,” the words had rolled off his tongue as naturally as falling snow, not thinking at all about the consequences. You should be used to his flirty remarks by now. Of all the years you’ve known him, he’s always been like that. It never means anything, it’s just who he is. And it’s your job not to allow him to get you all riled up.

Letting Dieter take the front, you step to the side and close the door as he waves at his adoring fans. They all scream his name, posters and memorabilia glued to their hands with hopes that the actor might sign them. He’s got a bit of spare time—traffic had been surprisingly kind—so you allow him to mingle. You trail close on his steps just in case anyone decides to get too familiar. Selfies are taken, and tears are shed. Your gaze swiftly flits to your watch, his panel begins in ten minutes, you have to get him inside– Besides he will do more signings after the Q & A anyway.

Ignoring the blood pooling underneath your nails, you press your hand against the small of his back, gently guiding him to the entrance. He already knows. His steps become faster, yet to an outsider he doesn’t look to be in a rush. You can’t help the way your fingers slightly curl against the soft fabric of his suit; he feels your palm, warm and soft on his hip.

Touching Dieter isn’t anything new. However, this time you sense a crackle in the air, something that can only be felt by the two of you. His muscles stiffen as he fights the urge to turn to lay his eyes on you. If he could, a silent question would be asked with those same pair of soft eyes; Did you feel that too?

The invisible moment shared between the two of you is gone when a poster is abruptly shoved into his hand along with a marker, you notice which movie it’s from; The Bubble, though it’s more of a documentary rather than a movie. He quickly signs it without further inspection, the fan quickly screams words of gratitude.

But your eyes linger.

You hate that documentary. It’s the proof of your biggest failure as a bodyguard. You heard it on the news first. The crazy set where Lauren Van Chance got her hand shot clean off and the actors had to flee via a helicopter. It was a closed set so you weren’t allowed to join Dieter, and the thought alone that something, anything, could’ve happened to him during filming made you sweat profusely.

Your throat closes up, lungs emptying with the reminders of the past. Luckily he returned safe and sound, never again would you accept him to be essentially locked in a hotel by himself, the pandemic be damned.

You feel it first. See it later.

Your skin is coated with unwarranted goosebumps, the small hairs dusted across your nape stands with attention. Years of working had made your senses grow sharp, noticing things before it even came to be. With your backs turned to the approaching threat, you forget your surroundings, forget to hold yourself back.

When you notice your fingers wrapping around a slim wrist, it’s too late. You kneel and throw the person coming from behind using the strength from your shoulder. A small funko pop of one of Dieter’s more popular characters flies out of their hand. It’s a young woman, maybe in her early 20’s. She shouts in pain and Dieter jumps back, only now realizing what happened. You’re horrified, bile rising to your throat as your eyes go wide. You don’t hear yourself, but you know you’re shouting an apology, feeling your lips form the words.

Sorry, sorry, sorry. Oh my god I’m so sorry.

You attempt to help the girl up but she yanks her hand back, looking at you with rightful fury. You look up to the crowd and it’s a cacophony of screams, laughter, booing– The sound comes to you muffled, echoed. You see countless smartphones, all of them directed at you, documenting your second-worst mistake of your career.

Turning back you see Dieter kneeling next to the fan. He’s speaking to her, his large hand spread across her back. She smiles, nods, and he helps her up. Two paramedics come, ushering her away from the crowd., Dieter waves her off, saying something to the paramedics. You’re so disoriented that your mind convinces your body that a threat as big as an explosion had happened, your skin crawling with imaginary shrapnel digging in to it.

Dieter’s face comes into view, your stomach churns with the remains of your too-early breakfast.

Every sound, every motion rushes back into you, like your soul being sucked back into your body. It’s an overwhelming feeling, you shake your head once, twice, then ask a question with the sole intention to convince yourself that you’re alright.

“Is she hurt?”

“She’s going to be fine,”

Dieter never touches you when you work, a rule you established well before knowing him –this rule didn’t apply after hours though, you don’t remember how many times he bawled his eyes out and pulled you into a bear hug during one of his many rewatches of Coco– but right now his arm wraps securely around your waist, pulling you with him as cameras flash before your eyes, the sound deafening. Your eyes water at the light;, briefly you wonder how Dieter does it, then you’re reminded of his shitty eyesight and connect the dots.

The inside of the building is spacious and cool, you take a deep, shaky breath and stagger forward, balancing yourself by pressing your palms into your knees. An angry set of heels echoes in the building; you see Shannon’s ankles, noticing a small tattoo of a happy cat with a ball of yarn.

How ironic.

“What the fuck was that?” she asks frantically, a rhetorical question, you assume, since she continues. “Amina, what the hell were you thinking flipping a fan like that? She wasn’t even doing anything! The press is going to gobble this story up, it’s going to be everywhere–” she abruptly stops mid- sentence, your head spins, Dieter’s shoes come into view, Shannon’s heels disappear.

“Is she going to be sick?”

You flinch at the hand on your back, Dieter’s voice echoes. You hear something else as he speaks in hurried breaths. What the hell was that sound? You attempt to swat it away. Then you recognize.

Jingle Bells?

“Amina?”

You black out after that.

Needless to say, Dieter is freaking out.

You flatout fainted in front of them all, then woke up acting as if everything was just peachy-keen. He was glad you didn’t puke, but that didn’t ease his worries. The memory of you tossing that poor girl didn’t leave his head for the rest of the day. He was confused, his mind working hard unlike it ever did in order to unravel the mystery. He knew you had your reasons, maybe the girl was a secret agent out to get him or something. Mostly, he was worried about how the scene had stirred something in him. The way you looked so confused about your own actions, how your eyes seemed glazed as if they couldn’t piece together where they were… He’d never seen you so out of your element before.

The screaming crowd probably didn’t help.

Knowing that the internet would be brutal, he asked for your phone before the panel, and, surprisingly, you obliged. The rest of the day was event- free.

He still feels the phone in his pocket as he unlocks the door of the hotel room.

Upon seeing the mess of his late night endeavors with Eduardo and Isabel, a small groan leaves his throat. Couldn’t they have cleaned before leaving the room?

You don’t seem to care. With quick steps you reach the couch and sit. It’s facing the TV, and your hand reaches for the remote. He parts his lips to say something but your hand stills before he does, fingers slightly shaking as you pull yourself back.

“I’m sorry,” you say, your voice cracks and his heart beats in his throat. “I don’t know what happened,”

“Well…” he trails off, closing the door. “In your defense, Rose wasn’t supposed to be there. Technically, you were doing your job,”

“Rose?”

“The girl you flipped,”

“Oh god,”

He stands before you, facing the full force of your doubtful gaze. You cradle your cheeks with both hands, shaking your head, and let out a groan.

“Even so, she didn’t have a weapon, she wasn’t there to attack you. All I had to do was to usher her away,” you lean back, both hands now covering your face, letting out a deep sigh. “Fuuuuuuuuck,”

“Hey, it’s not that bad. Shannon is just being dramatic,”

“I saw her looking at her phone Dieter, I think she left early to cry in the shower,”

“Being my manager for so long must’ve taken a toll on her, you can’t blame her for that. I promise you, I did way stupider shit,”

“Doing stupid shit and downright assaulting someone are two different things,”

You’re right, and he knows you’re right. That doesn’t mean he’ll accept it though. He stares at you for a while, thinking what to say or to do to make you feel better.

His first instinct is to roll you a joint—weed makes everything better—but when he notices the subtle tick in your jaw, your lips slightly moving without parting, he understands that whatever you’re feeling, runs much deeper. You eye the remote again.

“Maybe I should just see what they’re saying?”

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,”

“I’m going to find out about it eventually. I should just rip off the bandaid,”

Offering to roll you a joint doesn’t seem like that bad of an idea anymore.

“How about we smoke weed instead?” He assumes you’re going to say no when you open your mouth. He presses his forefinger against his own lips playfully, meeting your gaze and winking. “We can look at Twitter, check the news, watch youtube breakdown videos or whatever you want to do and see the damage tomorrow morning, sweetheart. Promise,”

“Fine fine, let’s go with what you want,” you give in, clearly exasperated. Dieter grins, but before he leaves you threateningly wave your finger at him. “But this is the only time, Bravo. Got it. No matter what, don’t offer it again,”

“Yes Ma’am,”

Dieter holds the joint between his index and middle fingers, where it looks miniature compared to the rest of his hand. He brings it to his lips, taking a deep inhale before handing it to you.

You move in slow motion— at least, to him it seems like you are. He watches intently at where his lips touched moments ago touching yours. A pleasant tingle blossoms from his tail bone to the small of his back. A delicate puff of smoke dances away from your lips, your head falling back, a long sigh follows your exhale. Dieter’s eyes follow the curve of your neck. You swallow, lips still parted. He mimics the movement, his own adam’s apple bobbing up and down, he thinks of your lips.

“Why did I fucking do that?” you mutter. “That was so stupid of me,”

“Stop thinking about it,” he takes the joint away from you. “I rolled this so you can relax. Don’t waste good weed on tripping,”

“Yeah, you’re right sorry,”

Dieter spreads his legs underneath the fuzzy blanket, and your head lolls towards him, forehead brushing his clothed shoulder. Again, a pleasant tingle spreads, this time warmth added to the feeling. The skin above his lower stomach feels tight. His thoughts the farthest from being pure, he imagines a nipple, your nipple, while sucking the end of the joint. His head fuzzy, a soft moan rattles in his throat. You’re muttering something, and that something comes to him muffled, then you laugh. He laughs too, context be damned. He takes another inhale before passing it back to you.

“It was kinda funny,” he suddenly says, his mouth barely reaching the speed of his thoughts. “The way you just threw her over your shoulder,”

“How is it funny?”

Something in your voice makes Dieter raise his hips, the delicate, barely there pressure of the blanket is equal to torture. He needs his hand, or better yet, your mouth. He bites his bottom lip and chases the feeling, lifting himself once more just to feel that feather-like grind against his cock. You’re unaware. Or maybe you are. Dieter can’t tell. He knows that he should behave, that deep down you’re hurting, but something about your obliviousness did something to him. His teeth sink further into his lip, he wants to draw blood, needs the distraction.

“I’ve never actually seen you get physical before, so the shock factor made me wanna laugh,” his words fade into a surprised grunt when you stuff the joint between his lips.

“I guess you really haven’t seen me like that before,”

You sound genuinely surprised. Dieter shifts to face you better, your face only an inch away from his, he sucks in a deep breath. His eyes dance around your face, taking in every little detail, memorizing it for later. Your eyes seem to have specks of gold in them. Or maybe he’s just imagining it. He hears you swallow, your own gaze dropping to his lips. Dieter shuffles closer. He hears your heavy, but fast, breathing. Your breasts touch his chest, a subtle movement that has him grinding his teeth.

He can taste you in the air, sweet and bitter, you’re so close–

The moment shatters with the sound of a shrill doorbell;, Dieter jumps, an immediate crease forming between his eyebrows.

“What kind of hotel room has a doorbell?”

“The expensive kind I guess,” you giggle.

Dieter smiles sweetly at you, he can’t help it. The doorbell rings again, prompting Dieter to stride to the door with long steps. Gripping the doorknob white-knuckled, he yanks it open.

He forgot.

He can’t believe he fucking forgot.

“Dieter!”

A pair of thick, loving arms, wrap themselves around his neck. An awkward smile tugs at Dieter’s lips as he hugs back, his hands twitching for an imaginary rail to hold on.

“Mom? Dad?”

“You forgot didn’t you,” his dad means for his words to form a question but he’s so sure of himself that it comes out as a statement. “Doesn’t darling Kate remind you of these things?”

“She does,” Dieter answers. His mother squishes his cheeks, making it difficult for him to speak. “I just forgot. Been busy,”

“Such a busy bee our darling boy! I would’ve never guessed,”

“Thanks for the confidence boost mom,”

“I mean I knew you would make it,” his mom defends herself. “I just never thought you would work so hard,”

“Again, thanks,”

“Uh…hello?”

You’re standing right behind him, arms crossed against your chest, you shift from one foot to the other. His mother looks you up and down, a wide smile appears on her face, wrinkles appear at the corner of her eyes, similar to his.

“Well, hello dear. Who might you be?”

Dieter nearly bursts out laughing when you stutter and hurriedly walk up to his parents with your hand stretched out, you nearly topple over. Dieter slightly moves forward, in case you did fall over.

“I’m Amina Addams. Lovely to meet you,”

When you reach out to greet his father, he seems excited, like a fan meeting a celebrity. Dieter raises an eyebrow. His father had the habit of being quite blunt, sometimes steering towards being mean, which made Dieter adapt into having a warning mechanism whenever his dad was about to say something stupid.

Right now the alarms are deafening in his ears, red flashing beneath his eyelids.

You shake his hand, and Dieter’s world falls into slow motion, his father parts his lips.

“You’re that girl who turned over a fan! The crazy bodyguard, right?”

For fucks sake dad.

author's note: I've been sitting on this for SUCH a long time and I'm so excited that it's finally out in the open! I love Christmas, romcoms and Dieter so this is essentially pouring out my adoration to all of those things and I hope you'll all fall in love with Amina & Dieter as hard as I have ❤️ Thank you everyone for reading!

#dieter bravo x oc #dieter bravo x reader #dieter bravo x fem!reader #dieter bravo x fem!oc #dieter bravo x ofc #the bubble fanfic #the bubble fanfiction #christmas fic #dieter bravo x amina addams

[wren-kitchens]

oooo dredge au drabble (pretend i’ve actually mentioned this au on tumblr shh) it’s not really long enough for proper formatting but it took me two weeks so. it’s going great over here

cw for torture

“must we always endure this? is my word not enough?”

gem turns, anger rising in her chest like a solid thing as she resists the very tempting urge to punch the stupid collector right in her stupid jaw. maybe then, gem would at least get answers about whatever this ‘crucial task’ she has to prepare for actually is, rather than vague messages about how she’s destined for it—whatever that means. it’s no real answer, that’s for sure; it sounds more like a cop-out of explaining whatever is actually happening.

“is your word- no, it absolutely is not!” gem snaps, and the air in the room seems to thicken. “you come in here with your demands that I get you the rarest items in the game, and not only do I not get payment, but you just keep giving me more jobs!”

the collector merely watches as gem tries her best not to start throwing stuff. honestly, she should be happy gem hasn’t already tried to strangle her, what with how ridiculous she is. “such performances are pointless; I will not elaborate.”

“oh, you’re one to talk.” gem scoffs indignantly. “your ridiculous claims that ‘the ocean does not wish to provide for you’, and i’m being dramatic?” gem takes a step towards her. “I don’t have to do this, you know. I can just stop- you can either do it on your own, or the outcome that you refuse to tell me just- won’t happen.” 

something catches in the collector’s eye—a red light from somewhere in the room. “I recommend that you do not chose that course of action.” her voice seems louder somehow, echoing around the room. 

“oh yeah?” gem folds her arms. “you think I care about- whatever you think you could do to me?”

the collector’s eyes are cold. “I believe you should.”

“you believe, do you?” gem snorts. “you can’t even leave! what do you think you can even do to me?” she turns around, ready to walk away. “look, grian was asking for my help with the underwater horse track, so i’m gonna-“

within an instant, it’s as if her blood has turned to fire, and gem crumples to the ground, a guttural scream tearing at the inside of her throat. her breaths are ragged- is she going to die- she’s going to die. grian mentioned something- code disintegrating- is that what this is? gem wouldn’t be surprised.

time seems to be disintegrating along with every fibre of her being- how long has gem been stuck in this seemingly eternal state of torment? her voice splinters- surely someone must have heard her by now; gem has certainly been suffering for centuries by now. 

her mind is decaying, her skin festering, her blood evaporating- she’s beyond any kind of help anyone could ever give. no one has ever felt this kind of debilitating agony before- no one has ever survived this far.

and then- as soon as it came, the torture dissipates, leaving gem choking out sobs on wet soil. that awful voice rings through her mind, dark and unforgiving; the ocean personified.

“yes. I believe you should.” 

#dredge #i’ll figure out a name for this au at some point I promise #geminitay #hermitcraft #hermitctaft s10 #wren writes #torture cw

[bbcphile]

WIP Wednesday (More MLC)

Have some more Fang Duobing and Di Feisheng interactions from my long fic as they try to figure out how to cooperate.

(You can find earlier excerpts here.)

“How’s your headache?” Fang Duobing asked.

There was a long pause. “Better,” was the curt reply.

Well, that was progress. At least he wasn’t pretending he had always been fine. And now, for the matter at hand. “Better enough that we could talk?” 

A-Fei huffed an amused breath. “Does my answer make a difference?”

Ouch. Alright, maybe he deserved that. “Yes. If you say no, I’ll shut up.”

A-Fei raised an eyebrow. “Really.” 

Fang Duobing nodded.

A-Fei closed his eyes, took another deep breath, and sighed it out. “Alright. Talk.”

Here it was. Now or never. “Ok.” He cleared his throat. “First of all: I’m sorry.” Hopefully a-Fei would be impressed with his maturity and responsibility.

There was a long pause. “For what?” a-Fei asked, his face devoid of emotion and his eyes still closed.

What on Earth did that reaction mean? Did he think the apology was beneath his notice? Fang Duobing swallowed back the desire to demand an explanation, took a calming breath, and continued. “I wasn’t listening to you. Either of you. You were right: I kept pushing on lots of things when you both told me to stop. And it hurt both of you, and Li Lianhua is only still alive because you were here to save him. I’ve learned my lesson, though. And I promise I’ll do better from now on.” To show that at least one of them knew something about etiquette, he also bowed. 

There was an even longer pause. Fang Duobing broke form to glance up. A-Fei had opened his eyes at some point during the bow, and was watching him with the most neutral expression Duobing had ever seen. 

“Alright,” a-Fei said with a clipped nod of his head, and closed his eyes again. “What do you want?”

“An apology isn’t about—“

“What. Do. You. Want?” a-Fei asked again, revealing the edge of his tone like he’d unsheathe his dao. 

“An acknowledgment of what I just said would be a good place to start,” he grumbled. “But fine.” He took a deep breath. Wuyan told him to try following a-Fei’s commands. Now was as good a time as any to start. “Since you asked—even though it’s unrelated to the apology—I want answers.”

Even with a-Fei’s eyes closed, Fang Duobing could see how hard he rolled them. “Of course.”

“You and Li Lianhua are both keeping things from me again, just like you used to. And because I can’t read minds, I keep accidentally hitting tripwires because I didn’t even know there were traps to look out for.”

“There are always traps,” a-Fei said, the hint of a sardonic twist raising the corners of his lips.

“No, that’s not—” Fang Duobing shook his head and tried again. “Imagine we were attacking a fortress. I study traps, so I can usually identify and disarm them without a problem. But in this fortress, for some reason, all traps are completely invisible to me, but you somehow have a map showing which spots trigger arrow formations and which ones are rigged with gunpowder to explode. And instead of sharing the map with me or telling me what to look out for, you’re just yelling at me once I’ve stepped wrong and blown everyone up. And I’m really, really tired of hurting everyone because of something I can’t see.” 

A-Fei shook his head and slowly ran his index finger along the inside of Li Lianhua’s wrist. “I don’t have a map.”

“You have more of one than I do.” Fang Duobing watched a-Fei’s finger move along Li Lianhua’s pulse point and decided to test a theory. “And I don’t just mean monitoring his heart rate.”

Another almost smile flickered on a-Fei’s lips. “Then what do you mean?”

That was one theory validated. Back to the matter at hand. “You already knew something more than what you shared. I don’t know what, but it has to do with why you wanted to heal the pericardium meridian rather than the lung meridian, even though he was wheezing, and how you knew he had shattered his own heart meridian, and that he did it while being immobilized, so immobilization would be dangerous for him. Something must connect them all. So what aren’t you telling me?” 

A-Fei dragged his finger back along Li Lianhua’s wrist to its starting point. “You want to not set off traps? Don’t immobilize him. Stop qi transfers when he or I say. Don’t ask him what happened.”

Fang Duobing’s mouth fell open. “That’s it? That’s all you’ll tell me?”

A-Fei opened his eyes to pierce him with a glare. “It’s enough.” 

“You always do this!” Fang Duobing said, throwing his hands into the air. “Why are you so committed to keeping people in the dark? Like with the ice planks, when you pretended to work with Shan Gudao.”

A-Fei’s free hand clenched into a fist. “That was my business. Not yours.”

 “Bullshit!” Fang Duobing snapped. “It affected us, too! Your snatching my xiao-yi got her stabbed, remember?” A-Fei’s finger hitched in its path on Li Lianhua’s wrist. “Anyway, you didn’t see Li Lianhua’s face once you left that day, when he thought you might have betrayed him like Shan Gudao did.” A-Fei’s finger stilled. “Why didn’t you just tell us, tell him, that you were doing it to get rid of the mind control bugs? Did you really think we wouldn’t help you, if we’d known? And instead, you tried to do it on your own and got kidnapped and Li Lianhua had to rescue you–”

A-Fei stopped moving entirely.

#mysterious lotus casebook #mlc fic #my fic #Di feisheng #Fang Duobing #Li Lianhua #Difang #Lianhua Lou #lhl #wip wednesday #it’s still a massive case of competing needs #and they’re still struggling to communicate succesfully #but they’re trying

[brianlesshetaliawritings]

🦋 Hello~

Could you do scenarios ; How the Hetalia guys would motivate and help with studying, basically making sure their S/O stay on top of school work. Any character is fine, you can pick, no pressure.

Tho speaking of who Is your favourite character? 🍬 you don’t have to answer if you’re uncomfortable it’s cool

America, China, Canada, and France helping/motivating their S/O with schoolwork

note: i’m sorry it took awhile, idk how to format it yet. oh also i couldn't finish canada since idk what to write for him (sorry again) my favorite character kinda depends on my mood but Hungary, Canada, and Switzerland are my top three.

America

He would try and help you study but sadly your face is too distracting for him.

So, he ends up just looking for articles or books that can help you.

America would force you on a burger break because while he cares for your education, your inner peace is more important to him.

He would hang out in the room you’re studying in, (or you're studying where he's working) occasionally looking over your shoulder to see what you’re doing. He always compliments your good work after checking too.

Alfred hugs your back, resting his head on your shoulder. “Lookin’ good, babe.” You can’t tell whether he said that to you, or if it was directed towards your work. Either way the statement is still flattering though. You look up at him to notice him looking right back at you. Alfred chuckles once you look back to your schoolwork.

China

China will be really helpful, he’d probably encourage note taking and other good methods to remember things.

He’d make you some tea, or just water if you dislike that. He doesn’t want you to forget about staying hydrated.

Wouldn’t distract you as much as some the others might, he finds your schoolwork to be very important.

Altogether very helpful, does his best to help you with it. He probably knows a lot too with how ancient he is.

"S/O, I made you some tea! This helps with memory so it should help you a lot." He smiles, placing the cup down gently for you. "Thank you." You sighed looking to him, you appreciated the stuff he did for you. It might not be much but it helps. He presses a soft kiss to your cheek, "Call for me if you need anything." then he leaves. Even if he never stays for long, it's still nice when he does check in on you.

Canada

He makes you some pancakes to eat while working, might even try to shape it into something cute like a heart for you.

Extra helpful if you’re writing something. I feel like that’d be his best subject.

The way he’d help with that is spelling corrections, telling you different ways to phrase something you said.

If it’s anything else he’s still helpful, mostly just there for moral support though.

(I WROTE SOMETHING HERE WHY THE FUCK DID IT DISSAPEAR?!?!??! i'm so sorry canada lovers but i aint rewriting that shit😭)

France

France is the classic "i will help you study!" but you end up getting nothing done becasue of him.

Keeps asking you to take a break, he's kind of needy about your affection. Will try and look sad if you say no, does his own version of puppy dog eyes.

Eventually he gives up and goes to at least make you a snack, you deserve it for being such a determined worker.

He'll come and go, definitely the least helpful but he is pretty fun so that kind of makes up for it.

"S/OOO~." He whispers in your ear, his persistence for your attention is starting to become sad with how desperate he's getting. Currently, your lovely boyfriend is trying to convince you how taking another break will help your work ethic. You love him loads but he's really time consuming. Sighing, you turn around and grab his shoulders. "Francis. If you give me another hour to work, I will go out and have dinner with you. Okay?" He seems pleased with this compromise, already going off to get ready and plan where you two will go.

#aph canada #aph france #aph china #aph america #hetalia x reader #china x reader #canada x reader #america x reader #france x reader

[kwockwoc]

Hi Kwoc,

So I know you for some time now as one of the people who lives in fencedom, and I wanted to ask you some random questions that just popped in my head. So how did you come across Fence? Do you write any fics and if you have a favorite fence fic which one would you recommend me to read? Who is your favorite Fence character? What's your favorite movie and favorite genre? What book are you currently reading? Also what is your favorite food of all time?

Have a good day mate

XOXO

Atom

P.S what style of music do you listen to?

G’day Atom --

Okay, wow! Thanks for the lovely ask in the ol' Inbox!

The answer was more wordy than I expected, so it's below the cut 👇

I was a little overwhelmed when I first read your ask, because I think of myself as kind of occupying space right on the edge of the fandom, and am slightly mystified at the thought of being ‘in’ it!

I first came across Fence (but didn’t initially read it) when it was recommended to me by a friend. The first issue was being launched by CS Pacat at my local comic book shop, and this friend was quite insistent that I should go to the launch event and read the comic, because “it’s written by Cat and it’s gay and it’s got swords in it and you’ll love it!”

Anyway, I took a look at a preview, realised it was about teenagers fencing at a boarding school, and I thought –

Not for me.

I had already read CS (Cat) Pacat’s Captive Prince trilogy when the final of the three books first released (Wikipedia tells me that was in February 2016, which seems a staggeringly long time ago, but is probably correct). I sat down and devoured the trilogy over the course of about forty-eight hours. I loved Damen and Laurent and enjoyed the worldbuilding. I then met Cat at a book signing at a local bookshop, and had really enjoyed the interview Cat gave, so thought that whatever was next published would be interesting…

But… teenagers? High school? Uh…

Anyway, fast forward a few years. Fence got nominated for a GLAAD award and I thought oh, it must be pretty good then, but then still didn’t pick it up. Around the time of the release of the compiled volume four in a graphic novel format (mid-2020), I realised that the series was still being published, albeit in a piecemeal fashion. I borrowed the first three bound volumes of Fence from the library, and I was hooked.

I’m not a comic book reader – not now, anyway. I grew up on Spider-man and read Marvel comics well past the age most guys stop (some of my fave characters have faded to darkness, now – Nightwatch, anyone?). I wrongly thought of comics as something that couldn’t engage me anymore. Wrongly? Very wrongly. I enjoyed Fence a lot and wanted to spend some more time in its world.

Yes, I do write, but not much. I used to write more, but I stopped creative writing in… I want to say about 2012, but I can’t really remember. Every time I think about it, the timeline shifts a little. 2012 would make sense, though. I took a break because I was working in academia, and I would be ‘all dried up’ in terms of writing by the end of a normal semester. Nothing left! No energy, no inspiration. Academic writing took me over for a long while – a lot longer than I expected it to. I wrote a few flash fictions here and there over the intervening years, but only returned to doing some focused creative writing in 2023.

Favourite Fence fics – wow, amazing question! I have a soft spot for everything that inagartenforever writes – I’d suggest you check out anything and everything by ina. (Full disclosure – I’ve gifted a couple of fics to ina, so this is hardly a ‘disinterested’ recommendation 😅) 

Looking through my bookmarks I’m surprised how little I’ve bookmarked – there are so many great writers both active and inactive in the Fence fandom. Maybe just spend some time browsing and see what you find interesting!

The only things written in the Fence fandom and currently visible on ao3 that I’ve bookmarked that AREN’T by inagartenforever are two pieces by Merrilly, both of which are E-rated, if you’re OK with that – Pas de Deux, and Shattered Pieces Shine (I am a bad reader because I so often forget to bookmark 🙇). My other bookmarks are from other fandoms, perhaps most notably OMGCP.

Favourite Fence character – hmm. This is like a parent picking a favourite child. I’m going to say Nicholas, although my reasons for choosing that guy are unclear, even to me, because I do love Seiji. What an interesting guy Seiji is! I also have an enormous and growing soft spot for Robert Coste, not for any particular or even real reason – only because of the complicated head-canons I have invented about him 😅

Favourite movie – I’m not a movie person, really. I do love The First Wives Club and The Castle. Oh dear. As you can see, I apparently stopped watching new films in 1997 😅

Favourite genre of movie – I’m going to say that I don’t watch enough cinema to have a fave genre 😔 I look over at the DVD collection on the bookcase, and there’s a lot more TV boxsets over there than there are films! In terms of TV – all-time favourites are the US Queer as Folk, and Futurama.

Currently reading…? – oh, dear Atom, this – this question. This question. Oh no. I have so many different books I’m partway through (yeah, I’m one of those readers, too). Currently in the “yes honey I promise I am reading these” pile are:

Bunt! (Ngozi Ukazu),

the bars are ours (Lucas Hilderbrand),

White Trash Warlock (David Slayton),

My Next Date (Casey Morales – I’m listening to this as audiobook narrated by Jon Curtis),

and I’m also re-reading It Takes Two to Tumble (Cat Sebastian – yeah, another writer named Cat). It's basically a riff on The Sound of Music, but set 130 years earlier, and much gayer.

I adore Cat Sebastian’s writing – very cozy with a happy ending. In general, I re-read frequently and without regret. If I like it, I’m going back to it. Just try and stop me. I’m looking at you, Lord of the Rings.

Favourite food of ALL TIME – if I can set aside the question of nutrition, I’m going to say veal saltimbocca as cooked by a guy named Tony, which I used to have at a little place in South Yarra called Tamani (sadly, now long since closed). Dinner at Tamani and then a night out at a gay or gay-friendly bar/club south of the river was a guaranteed good Saturday.

Favourite style of music – I had an EDM/trance ‘phase’ for a long while in my late teens/early twenties. I listen to… well, more or less anything, now. A lot of Lana Del Rey these days. My top listened-to artists this month (March 2024) are Lana Del Rey, Kesha, Gregory Dillon, RAYE, Troye Sivan, and… uh… Taylor Swift.

Once again Atom, wow! What an amazing ask. A whistle-stop tour of kwoc’s life. Appreciate the questions!

#kwoc answers #thanks Atom for the ask! #wow this was a long answer #i'm so sorry Atom #for the length of the reply

[dungeonsdragonstdelinquents]

Hii, saw your post about dps fics being really poetically written, do you have any favourites or recommendations? Have a good day!! :D

Hi thank you for the ask!! Oh goodness my favorite dps fics…I will include in general fics that I liked, but the ones that I have placed an asterisk with are pieces that had me–for lack of a better phrase–crying, screaming, shitting on the floor from how poetic they made me feel. Which really doesn't make much sense, but when i say poetry within me i just mean this strange feeling that is difficult to describe. Also these are all anderperry because i am a basic bitch, so apologies if you were looking for any other pairs! Maybe after finals I will look into some of the other pairs and put together a list for them too :) also I tried formatting this the best I could, I typed it all out on google docs so apologies for any fuck ups.

(in no particular order)

What We Stay Alive For **** by PiscesVanity on ao3, 18/18 chaps, 66,485 words.

Summary: “Do we get second chances in this life, Todd?” Neil asks him like he expects a negative answer. Todd doesn’t give that to him.

“Yes. we do. I know it.” 

“Do you?” Neil grins, playfully elbowing him. “Did you at least wait to take it? That second chance? Until the world was more peaceful? More kind?” 

Ten years after the death of Neil Perry, Todd Anderson wakes up with a second chance.

My notes: This incredibly crafted piece of art was the first dead poets fic I ever read. It honestly set the bar for me, for future reads. Also i didn’t have the chance to reread this one because this baby is long as FUCK and as much as I love long fics to read, I have to study for finals today so I can’t right now. I’m like 80% sure this is the fic where they confess by the lake and say something along the lines of “if you feel something even similar to what i feel…” but again i can’t be sure. Either way all I remember is that this fic is fricken good. Just for context, this is a time-traveling fic, but the type of time travel that happens in 13-going-on-30. Todd prays for a second chance on the eve of the 10 year anniversary of Neil’s death and he wakes up in his 17 year old body, on the day that he started school at Hell-ton. I think in general I just love the dead poets fandom because it combines some of my favorite tropes in any form of reading–50s/60s time period, boarding schools, and well…being gay. It is a fix-it so there is some angst, but there is a happy ending. But it will hit hard, especially since it comes close in the end so be wary. When I first started it, I was concerned about my own interest dwindling because the fic was going to cover the entirety of the movie, and since I have issues rereading or rewatching pieces of media when I know the end or the majority of it, I didn’t know if I was going to last. But the author of this stunning work (I know it sounds cheesy BUT IT IS) crafted it in a way that didn’t leave me bored. Even though several lines were pulled from the movie due to it being a time travel fic I still felt involved and captured by the story. It was comforting at the beginning to see how Charlie and Todd took care of each other after Neil’s death, and it was also intriguing to see how Todd almost started where he left off with Neil when he went back in time. He was more open than he had been prior, but eventually had settled back into his ‘old’ personality that he had before his first encounters with the poets. 

to be alone with you by wordshakers on ao3, 1/1 chaps, 3,602 words.

Summary: “Thursday evenings were, unequivocally, Neil’s favorite part of the week.

On the surface, the explanation for this was simple enough. It was his opportunity to turn his focus entirely to the topic that made him happiest: Shakespeare. He savored the time he was able to spend sitting out on the dock, overlooking the lake, reading and reciting the words he loved so much.

The other reason–perhaps the more prominent one–Neil wasn’t able to explain quite as easily. In fact, he could hardly admit it to himself. Thursday evenings…they meant being alone with Todd.

An anderperry first kiss fic, set in a near-canon universe of the film (minus the death). Fluffy mutual pining.

My notes: I can’t recall everything about this one because my mind has been scrambled the last few days, but it is fluffy, it is cute, and it has Todd and Neil practicing lines together–what more could you want? 

letters to my dearest beloved ****by UniversalSatan on ao3, 4/4 chaps, 34,162 words.

Summary: 

“My dearest beloved,

It is with great relief that I finally write to you. I think it doubtful for my words to ever reach your ears, but spare me this chance to lend you a piece of my thoughts–and only a piece, for I must write with caution lest I be discovered.

Neil, amidst his own internal emotional conflict, accidentally stumbles upon letters Todd had been writing in secret to an unknown recipient. Neil (an idiot) continues to intrude on Todd’s privacy by reading each new letter in secret, continuously agitating over their purpose.”

My notes: I’m not 100% sure how well this fic is known because as I stated in the post you mentioned I am extremely new to this fandom, I think I only watched the movie the Saturday before last. Let me tell you, my heart was beating all over the place during this. I cannot believe the audacity of Neil! I don’t want to spoil it because it’s literally a masterpiece, like this should be published and printed and given awards to–the letters and the imagery in them were so *shakes author like a squeaky toy* I LOVE YOUUUU RAHHHHH. Anything i have to say just will not convey how fucking amazing this fic is. Please go read it if you haven’t. And also Neil is an oblivious little man in this fic, the best type of Neil.

A Midnight Summer’s Dream: A Story of Hope (chapter 2 specifically) by cc tinselbee (thearchivistonmars)

Summary: (my words) an almost main au that will tear your fucking soul from your body. Beautiful, amazing, life altering, makes me cry in the best way. The bittersweetness of it all is POTENT. It is an Almost Maine au (I am scared to look into almost maine now from how heartbreaking this fic was. I have only read the SECOND chapter, I’m sure the first chapter is magnificent but as of now I am in the midst of finals so I will check it out when I am done.)

My notes: Someone printed out this fic, tied it to a brick, and threw it into the window of my heart, shattering my soul into pieces. How could you do this to be, author? This piece has me able to physically feel my brain putting up barriers to stop thinking about the ending that is implied. Nope, nope, nope. If you are one for incurable angst, please go ahead and enjoy. It’s a wonderful story and it evoked emotions in me that I couldn’t even stand. The author is very talented for this and I’m manifesting that alternative/possible happy ending they mentioned in their notes/comments. I haven’t read the first chapter, so this is specifically about the second one because up until a few moments ago I didn’t realize that there was a first chapter–I clicked on the link to the fic from the author’s tumblr and was sleep deprived and thought it was the beginning of the fic 🙂

Gentle Lover, Remedy ****by violet_sunset on ao3. 1/1 chap, 13,135 words.

Summary: “Todd’s first semester at Welton marks the moment he stops going to church. There are regular Masses offered in the chapel, but whenever Todd thinks about going he’s overwhelmed by nausea and has to hover in the bathrooms until he is sure he won’t vomit. When he was a kid and he thought God was just a pair of arms open in embrace, he would have jumped at the chance to attend, to sing from the hymnal and listen to homily and absorb the sacrament of blood and body. Now, God seems like a distant thing.”

My notes: HOLY FUCK, RELIGIOUS GUILT MY BELOVED. That’s one of my favorite tags to see in a work, and it isn’t often that I have seen it in some of the pairings that I like. Of course, with religious guilt comes internalized homophobia and period typical attitudes–the fic actually made use of words used in that time period that were used to refer to queer folk, so if any of those trigger you please be wary as well. I love, love, LOVE the usage of religious metaphors and words that are littered all around in this piece as well as the descriptions that show Todd’s pathway of his beliefs. As we know Todd has a deeply ingrained inferiority complex and WOW does it shine in this fic. It made me cry feeling the second-hand guilt that Todd feels. Also, the author tackled the controversy of appropriation in the film–meaning Charlie’s preference of the name Nuwanda–and expanded on his ethnic background which was really nice to read. They also touched upon Charlie’s relation to gender and (semi-canonical?) non-binaryness (it's a word because I say so) in a beautiful and delicate way that is very rare in most works that I have seen. In general there are very few fics that I have read that have included Charlie as being anything other than cisgender, so it was wonderful to see it included in this work. As well as this, Todd having a panic attack/sensory overload when a certain ginger starts being homophobic was incredibly well written and it felt like it captured those feelings that you have during an overwhelmingly stressful moment, though that is an understatement. Todd’s inability to realize just what the fuck is going on and being sort of spacey during it all–been there and done that baby. This author is so fucking talented, and this is probably my favorite dps fic of all time. I dont have the words to effectively describe how amazing it is, so if you are able to, I highly suggest reading it to experience it for yourself :)

It’s Rotten Work by cc tinslebee (the archivistonmars) on ao3, 1/1 chap, 2,774 words.

Summary:

 “I was hoping…” Neil peered back up at him with those fervent eyes before he broke his inconspicuous character and cracked a smile, “my favorite scene partner would help me test it out?”

In the midst of Todd’s continual crisis of what exactly Neil’s ‘no’ means, Neil asks him to read from a scene from Orestes. You know, for practice.

My notes: Short and utterly sweet. I love reading pieces that just show how much characters love each other whether it’s platonic, romantic, or somewhere in between. I’ve always been one for a slowburn, and it wasn’t until I realized that I was aromantic that the reason I love that trope is because in between the first ‘hello’ and the inevitable kiss, that love that I read about was similar to how I felt. Just a simple fondness that the characters had for each other that made them feel alive and safe etc. I could go on forever about that, but what I mean to say is that this fic captured that feeling of affection in a fleeting moment between Neil and Todd, and I think it’s lovely.

The Pepper Ghost Effect by Anonymous on ao3, 6/6 chaps, 19,472 words.

Summary: 

“1964. Todd Anderson, now a successful playwright, whisks away an old flame from a horrifying mental asylum. That old flame, Neil Perry, becomes Todd’s new muse.”

Notes: Beware of the tags. It is a very angst ridden fic that addressed Neil’s mental health and the possibilities of what could have happened if he survived his first attempt on his life. Key word, first attempt. There is period-typical homophobia, past abusive partners, and ableism and abuse stemming from the sanitarium that [spoiler] is placed in for some time. There is a happy ending, so it’s not just angst and I feel that this fic is severely underrated. There are like only 24 kudos on it right now and 4 comments which?? What?? It’s an absolute masterpiece, and effectively captures the feeling and emotion of hopelessness and depression of a situation. Neil’s emotional response and numbness to everything around him resonated with me and I felt like it described my own brush with darkness from the lower points in my life. Read at your own risk and don’t push yourself if any of the tags may be triggering, but if you are able to this is a wonderful read that will elicit all sorts of feelings in your heart.

In the Subjunctive by ghostlin on ao3, 1/1 chaps, 5682 words.

Summary:

“The night the play opens, Neil turns left.”

My notes: This is a sort of fix-it fic with Neil coming back to the dorms after his fight with his father. It leaves off sort of ambiguous–and I do adore a good ambiguous ending–leaving the reader to imagine a happy ending. I consider it a happy ending because Neil is alive, but he is less than well mentally as of what he has endured. It also centered some on Charlie and Neil in the aftermath of it all which I enjoyed because I feel that sometimes fics forget that they are all friends. Todd wasn’t the only one mourning Neil–they all were. Also I liked the way the author captured the surprise of Charlie’s acceptance of Neil’s sexuality amongst the blunt hatred of the time. Often I feel like some fics don’t try to keep the edge of fear or vulnerability that that time period called for–which is totally fine! You do you, boo. I just have a preference for it because I feel that it almost adds to an ambiguous read of a situation. I also liked how the author wrote about Todd’s perception of Charlie and how he perceives him–whether or not Todd is supposed to be unreliable (I think it’s made somewhat clear that Charlie likes Todd–he wouldn't be encouraging Neil to spill his feelings if he didn’t) in his narration.

Also as a side note i love your pfp ive been needing to read the picture of dorian gray but ive been so busy 🙁 and you have a good day too !!❤️

#ask #dps fic rec #anderperry fic rec

[reneeofthestars]

Peril on Patrol!

Forgot to post this! This is a fic that I had the privilege to write for @vodeanzine​ , a Clone Trooper Zine!

This piece features Sister, a clone trooper of the 212th!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/45644128

word count: 2226

*     *    *

Sister could never decide if she loved or loathed being on patrol.

On the one hand, it was critical for the security of the base. She was proud that Commander Cody trusted her skills to be among the first line of defense.

On the other hand, it was painfully boring.

Well, “boring” wasn’t quite the right word. Patrolling the perimeter of the hastily-established base required Sister to be focused and disciplined, alert for anything that might signal a hostile presence. But a good patrol meant nothing happened, which often led to strung-out nerves for no reason. So, every clone regularly on patrol duty had developed the skill of keeping watch for anything out-of-place, while also using the opportunity to relax.

Now, Sister uttered a quiet laugh, filtered through her helmet.

“Don’t tell me you actually watch those Jedi romance holos?”

“Sure,” Wooley said, inclining his own bucket towards her. “Jedi romance, Deep Space horrors, Wild Space adventures, Shilian dramas – I haven’t found a genre I don’t like.”

Sister shook her head. “Romances are fine, but I can’t watch the Jedi ones with a straight face. Not now that I know they’re only people.” She pivoted suddenly and scanned the land behind them, hands tight on her blaster rifle. Rusty-red scrubgrass, arching silicone formations, and looming crimson plants surrounded them, but her HUD didn’t detect any movement, heat signatures, or electromagnetic signals. No sign of any Separatists or local fauna following them through the Anaxes forest. She walked backwards for a few paces before turning around again. “Still clear.”

“Figures.” Wooley did a brief scan of the foliage to the right before looking up as they passed beneath one of the red plants. “Y’know, those remind me of the piona jellyfish back on Kamino.”

Once he mentioned it, Sister couldn’t help but agree. Long, undulating tendrils dangled from the bulbous, blossoming tops; so similar to the frills that dragged lazily behind the incredibly toxic – and absurdly large – languid invertebrates that drifted through the Kaminoan seas.

“Uh, they are plants, right? Not some sort of creature lying in wait for a tasty clone to devour?” She deliberately maneuvered around a particularly long tendril.

Wooley shrugged. “Could be a clone-eating plant, too. You never know with this galaxy.”

And what a galaxy it was. In the short time she’d been outside of Kamino’s torrential storms, Sister had seen more creatures, people, and landscapes than her studies had prepared her for. She did another sweep of their surroundings. Still no droids or lifeforms around. The creatures here seemed skittish.

They lapsed back into silence as they climbed a particularly rocky slope. It proved to be a hill, set at a higher elevation than the land around it. They paused to catch their breath, and Sister gazed around. A light mist wrapped around their legs, hugging the ground and stretching as far as she could see, weaving among the stalks and trunks of the reddish land. Spires of rounded rocks dotted the landscape, casting long shadows as the sun sunk lower behind hazy mountains.

“Do you ever miss Kamino?” Wooley asked, staring at the sunset.

“No.”

Sister was surprised how quickly she answered. She’d answered so seriously, without thought, that her voice dropped nearly to her brothers’ pitch.

Wooley’s helmet tilted slightly. “Not even a little?”

She cleared her throat. “No,” she said again, raising her voice to a more comfortable pitch. “I never felt… safe. I don’t know about your division, but in Tipoca City, to be different was to risk disappearing. The Kaminoans didn’t like ‘different’.”

Wooley nodded, but didn’t say anything.

“But my brothers took care of me. They always protected me, always made me feel safe.” Kamino was never home to Sister; home was wherever her brothers were. She pulled herself out of her reverie. “Do you miss it?”

Wooley sounded sheepish as he admitted, “Sometimes. But I might just miss the idea of it. Life was so slow and steady back then, and now it’s nothing but movement, you know? Sometimes, I just want to have a chance to rest like we used to.”

“Rest will come.” She didn’t bother to say more; they were both thinking it. Sister adjusted some controls on her HUD and did another sweep. The Republic base was well-concealed in the distance, and only came up because she knew what she was looking for. Beyond that, no structures pinged on her scanners.

A comm notice popped up on Sister’s HUD. Moments later, Trapper’s voice crackled in her ear. “You two are standing out like sunburnt taun-tauns up there. If you’re done with your sightseeing, it looks like our patrol loops are about to intersect. Want to join up for the last leg?”

Wooley nodded, and Sister replied, “It’ll be good to have you.”

“See you in three minutes, vod.”

Together, Sister and Wooley began their descent down the other side of the hill. It was considerably steeper than what they’d just climbed, so it took some careful maneuvering.

As they got back below the treeline, Sister asked, “Where do you want to retire to?”

Wooley gave a startled laugh. “Retire to? I think we need to survive the war first.”

“C’mon, you’ve thought about it.” Sister bumped him gently with her shoulder. “We’ve all thought about it. Don’t get bogged down with the existentialism.” She paused, considering the landscape bathed in red sunset. “I’d get a bunch of brothers to settle on Christophsis. The land’s covered in these gorgeous turquoise crystals. The way the light catches at dawn and sunset – I’ve never seen so many colors.” After nearly a decade of the stark white walls of Kaminoan cities, she was determined to experience as many colors as her vision spectrum would allow.

Wooley was quiet as he thought. He parted a particularly dense patch of scrubgrass with his rifle before moving on. “Of the places I’ve been,” he said at length, “I think I’d like to live on Ryloth. The area we were in was hot, but there are a bunch of different biomes to roam between. I like the Twi’leks. They’re good people, and, I dunno … I’d like to help them, if I can.”

Heat signatures registered on Sister’s HUD. She held up a hand to quiet Wooley and adjusted the specs. She relaxed; the forms were clones.

“Trapper, how goes the western bank?” Wooley asked as the other two came around a low-grown plant. He took a moment to lean his blaster against a boulder and shake the stiffness out of his arms. Sister followed his lead; the tightness in her limbs relaxed and she took in a steadying breath.

“Nothing to report,” Trapper answered as he approached. “Unless you count a nesting viper that Longshot tripped over.”

“You said you wouldn’t bring it up,” Longshot grumbled from behind him, squaring his shoulders.

“I lied,” Trapper replied mildly.

Sister grinned at Longshot, even though he couldn’t see it. “I didn’t know you were here! You get reassigned?”

“My squad just got back from a survey on one of the orbital moons.” Her batchmate took off his bucket and wiped his brow. “Nothing there but a bunch of rocks.” Longshot pulled out his canteen and took a swig before offering it to Trapper.

“We’re not supposed to take our armor off –” Wooley started nervously, before Trapper thumped the canteen against his chestplate.

“Drink,” Trapper ordered. And Wooley removed his helmet to drink.

Sister removed her bucket too, shaking out her thick dark hair. The elastic holding her hair in place had broken an hour ago, and had been falling into her eyes.

As she fished around in her utility belt for a replacement, Trapper grinned. “It’s grown out a lot, eh? Looks good.”

“Grew fast at first,” she answered as she wound her hair around into a knot to fit under her helmet, “but it’s slowed down now. Hasn’t gone past my shoulders yet.” She fastened the elastic just as Wooley handed off the canteen. She took it gladly; she hadn’t realized how thirsty she was. As she lowered the container, she spied an odd expression on Longshot’s face. “What?”

He shook his head, smiling. “Nothing. Just – I was looking at a holo I have of us on Kamino. Your face is a lot softer – rounder, maybe – than it was then.”

“The rest of my weight’s redistributed too. I thought the saying about food going straight to the hips was an expression, but apparently not.” Sister toasted him with the canteen. “Hormones work wonders.”

Longshot took the canteen back from her, but before he pulled away, he clapped her on the shoulder and inclined his head. “I’m happy for you, Sister. We all are.”

Sister beamed and pressed her forehead against his. “Thank you, vod.”

They stood a moment more before Sister gave him a slightly-less-gentle headbutt. “I guess we’ve loitered long enough.” She donned her helmet, and the others followed suit. As they resumed their joint patrols, she said, “So, Wooley and I were talking about where we’d like to retire. He says Ryloth, I say Christophsis. What about you two?”

“Naboo,” Longshot answered immediately.

“You’ve been?”

He raised a shoulder in a half-shrug. “No. But you’ve seen the holos. It’s beautiful, peaceful. I think it would be nice to learn about art… or whatever else they teach there.”

“I suppose our education of the arts is severely lacking.”

“I could get used to life on Coruscant,” Trapper mused, trodding through a tangle of scrubgrass. “Plenty of nightlife, drinks, opportunities – never a dull moment.”

“This is your retirement, Trapper,” Wooley reminded him. “We’re talking about when we’re old and not good for fighting.”

Trapper shrugged. “Fighting’s what we’re for. I’m never not going to be good at it.”

Sister checked behind them for any movement. “Now I’m imagining Ninety-Nine in a fistfight in some seedy cantina with neon lights.”

“I’ll be lucky if I’m in Ninety-Nine’s shape by the time this war’s over.”

Sister laughed as she pushed aside a short tendrilled plant –

And almost walked right into a probe droid.

Sister reeled back as the droid let out a high mechanical whine of surprise, its numerous dangling limbs convulsing instinctively. Its black-domed head spun on its axis, bulbous lenses flashing as it swiveled to each of the clones.

“Blast it!” Trapper shouted.

Sister didn’t need to be told twice; adrenaline surged through her veins. She felt a smug satisfaction that the stress of patrol wasn’t unwarranted this time. She sprinted to the right as Wooley lunged left, Trapper charging forward as Longshot backed up to get a better aim.

But the droid recovered as quickly as the clones. It spun into the air, red blaster bolts screaming down around them. Sister dove behind a boulder for cover, rock fragments splintering around her, and spotted Longshot taking a defensive position in a shallow crevasse, Wooley darting through a thick grove of the red plants.

Trapper didn’t look for cover; he raced straight towards the droid, trying to draw its fire.

It worked.

The droid’s lens narrowed in on Trapper, its extra blaster ports recalibrating –

Sister raised her blaster rifle and fired. The antenna comm system jutting from the dome exploded, Wooley’s shot disabled the main blaster with a spark and a flash of blue, and Longshot’s careful aim left the droid short-circuiting, broken shards where its main photo receptor had been.

The probe droid sputtered in the air a moment more, then tumbled to the ground with the groan of electronics and the crash of metal.

Trapper didn’t take any chances. He put one, two, three more bolts through the droid’s chassis in quick succession.

The silence was almost as deafening as the sudden blasterfire. Sister pivoted, narrowing her scanners, sweeping the area for any more droids. There were none.

“A scout?” Longshot growled as they gathered around the husk of metal.

Wooley was already tapping into the comms. “Patrol Osk to Base, come in, Base.”

Squatting down, Sister knocked more of the chassis apart, peering into the sparking wires and metal bits. The comms crackled a moment more before Commander Cody’s voice sounded in their helmets. “Base here. Status report.”

“We just ran across a Separatist probe droid,” Wooley said above her. “It’s destroyed now, but we don’t know where it came from.”

“Did it transmit a signal?”

They all exchanged a look. “No way to tell, sir.”

There was a pause, then the Commander switched to full-range comms. “I want all patrols back to Base immediately. All forces are to pull back while we evaluate a new situation.”

“Yes, sir,” all four of them said at once.

Her brothers made as if to start moving, but Sister didn’t stand; she plunged her hands into the depths of the droid, doing her best to avoid the still-live wiring.

Longshot looked down at her. “What are you doing?”

“Getting its brain,” she replied as her gloved fingers found their target. She gave a sharp twist, and the processor fell into her hands. She withdrew it, holding the rectangular object up. “Might have something useful on it.”

Trapper nodded. “Good thinking, Sister. C’mon. Let’s get moving.”

They set out at a brisk pace, keeping alert as they moved through the strange red forest.

Sister wasn’t worried; not when she had her brothers with her. Whatever happened, they’d face it together.

#writing #stories #fic writing #fanfic #zine #zine fic #clone trooper #sister #clone trooper sister #star wars #the clone wars #star wars the clone wars #tcw #star wars fanfic #star wars fic #renee writes #vode an zine #clone trooper trapper #clone trooper wooley #clone trooper longshot #writers on tumblr

[gender-trash]

how did you get into typesetting? are there particular resources/guides you'd recommend?

i am so incredibly sorry, because the answer to your first question is almost certainly useless to you: when i was 9-12 years old i took a bunch of online math classes from the Art of Problem Solving. AoPS classes (at the time; i haven’t followed what they’re doing in years) were formatted as a chat room where the entire lecture was given in text format (vv accessible to me for both adhd and auditory processing reasons), occasionally the teacher would ask questions for you to type in a response to, and a few of the fastest correct answers would be shown to the rest of the class. especially if you used latex math typesetting to make it Look Nice (the chatroom had limited latex support).

i, a small child extremely interested in math and in Proving my Skills to the other faceless usernames in the chatroom, was super into this. with practice i eventually got really good at speed-typesetting math in latex; i also habitually wrote up all my homework in latex because my handwriting was fucking unreadable (probably because of the dyspraxia) and it was honestly simpler *and* faster than writing it on paper and scanning it.

so at that point i was just kind of in the habit of using latex whenever i wanted to make a vaguely technical document Look Nice. math camp qualifying tests. final papers for technical classes in college. personal notes and reference sheets (i’m much more likely to study things if my study materials are visually appealing, i’ve found). i discovered that with practice it *is* possible to take class notes, live, in latex, and that if you send your ~fancy~ latex notes to your friends in the class they will love you forever. plus the extra Challenge made it easier for me to pay attention in class (fuck you, adhd).

thus, when i got into ficbinding my basic approach was “download a random latex book template -> modify to my own tastes -> consult stackoverflow if anything goes wrong” and it works pretty well for me, because i’m an extremely bullheaded programmer with a decade of latex experience. would i necessarily “recommend” it to a beginner? …not really.

anyway i hear you can use ms word or another word processor to typeset fic/danmei? lots of people in the ficbinding discord seem to be pretty successful with it, and @armoredsuperheavy’s introductory ficbinding tutorial goes into some detail (all of which i fully skipped) about typesetting in word. i can’t really provide any help here, though, sorry :(

otoh if you DO want to take the plunge and go latex or go home, i’ve found that overleaf provides some pretty good basic guides to latex syntax; if you want, i can also send you some of my latex source files and talk you through what’s going on with them. you’ll almost certainly want to use the “memoir” documentclass (not “book”), so hit up ctan and download the memoir documentation while you’re at it. personally i don’t use overleaf because i am physically incapable of using any text editor without vim keybindings; you might want to start there because the live preview is super helpful for a beginner, but i have NO idea what font support is like. if you’re not using overleaf, i recommend installing xelatex on your local machine, and if you don’t already have a text editor of choice, sublime text is free* and has some nice latex extensions.

*it will occasionally nag you to buy a license but you can keep clicking “maybe later” indefinitely

(someone recommended ConTeXt to me a while back, but i can’t remember who it was. that might be a friendlier option?)

actually, would anyone be interested in me writing up a more detailed Guide to Typesetting Books in LaTeX for complete beginners/cleaning up and posting my book template? (i am bad at modeling what “a complete beginner” to latex typesetting knows, but i will beta test it on a long-suffering @combat-epistemologist.)

#the trashcan speaks #devil venerable also wants to exploit the memoir class for evil purposes #OH YEAH also if you have a html file or epub (e.g. from ao3) you can use pandoc to convert it to .tex #you can use pandoc on nearly ANYTHING actually. highly recommend pandoc #also the only reason i stopped taking aops classes was that i took ap calculus bc when i was 12 and that was the highest level they offered #so when i was 13 i had to start taking fuckin’ honors multivariable calculus or w/e cross-registered at a local college #and let me tell you. i missed the faceless online chatroom classes SO. MUCH.

[cephei-ea]

Lee Rang x Reader

Genre: angst, hurt/comfort, fluff

Type: oneshot

Synopsis: Lee Rang doesn’t know how to control his emotions and the one that must cope with them for him is his oh so patient s/o. Patience can only hold together so much, for so long.

Warnings: toxic relationship, female reader implied, jealousy, fwb, argument, screaming/yelling, toxicity in general, gore, fear, sexual implications, FORMATTING DID NOT PASTE (original on wattpad jvllcd)

____________

1st POV

Lee Rang had been depressed all day. He went out looking real good to meet with Lee Yeon— he was even in a good mood— and when he returned, took his anger out on me, as per usual. Yelling, screaming, choking, cursing and name calling were all part of the near ritual like routine I'd gotten myself into with the man. Somehow, regardless, I still harbored a love so deeply rooted for him that, as a half breed like him, I would most likely never love another. Yu Ri was always with her little friend— whatever his name was— so she was never here to distract him. The girl needs to make up her mind so I can decide whether I want to beat her ass or not. Is it the good guy or the asshole? I'd hope it was the good guy so that I wouldn't have to go through the trouble of hunting her down. Indecisive bitches are the type of bitches I hate most. I don't even remember at this point what it was that I murmured under my breath that seemed to tip him over the edge after he'd yelled at me for an hour for things I "never did right." Such as putting too much cream cheese on his bagel or standing in his way when he was walking down the hallway. I was convinced at that point that maybe I should start breathing less in order to please him. I offered him comfort and an ear for what had happened but he really did not seem to give a fuck. Back to the point, I still can't remember what exactly it was that I said that ticked him off. I think it must've been my mention of how, if he was so displeased with me, maybe we should start fucking other people since the only thing he didn't scold me for was how I was in bed. Me and my mouth, huh. He knew if he complained about that, I would stop sleeping with him entirely. And we both know that nobody does it like I do. I guess it doesn't matter what it was that I said because right now he's towering over me like a titan and glaring down at me, screeching about how I'm unfaithful and a whore and if I get with another man, he's gonna kill me. Yawn. Tomorrow morning, everything is going to go immediately back to the lovey dovey mess it usually is. Until next week when his only outlet is me again. This is kinda how it started...

"What?" He nearly whispered as he spun on his heel after I mumbled something unimportant. I scowled and cursed myself for momentarily brushing off the fact that he has keen senses. "What the fuck did you just say?" He asked, a bit louder as I paced backward and he followed with large strides. I was now against the wall, subject to each name and curse he threw at me. "What the fuck do you think this is, huh, y/n?!?? Is this a fucking game to you!!!???? If you wanted to go fuck some other guy, why didn't you do that from the start, huh!!??? HUH!!???" He seethed. "Look at me." I didn't. Of course I didn't. "LOOK AT ME." Forcefully lifting my chin, his face was inches from mine and my eyes wandered to look anywhere but his. "Who the fuck are you going to go to, y/n!!!?? That whore of a man who you're always sucking faces with!!!??" He pointed somewhere, referring to a guy he "saw me kissing". He awaited an answer but he wouldn't get one. Because he knew damn well I'd never kissed a man but him, never touched a man but him. And he knew I would never want to, nor could I. He knew that, that "face suck" he swears he saw was just me kissing my old, good friend on the cheek as a greeting. He was actually there at the time and I guess from his angle across the street, he got the wrong idea. That day, he didn't speak a word to me but he was upset all day and when I asked him about it, he ignored me.

Anyways. Again, I didn't answer and he threw his head back, running a hand through his hair. "I can't believe you're doing this to me right now." He groaned.

"Are you crazy, Lee Rang?" I whispered and I knew he had heard me. I hoped he had. "Are you fucking out of your mind??" I was louder now. "WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOURE TALKING TO LIKE THIS AGAIN!!!???? WASNT I THE ONE- AM I NOT THE ONE, THE ONLY ONE WHO IS ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU!!!???" He scowled.

"IM THE FUCKING ONE WHO IS CRAZY!!!?? ANSWER ME THIS ONE QUESTION, Y/N!!! WHY THE FUCK DONT YOU GO BEG THAT OTHER GUY TO FUCK YOU, HUH!!??" I was silent once more. I was hoping he wouldn't bring up a sensitive topic again. Obviously I was out of luck, as I usually was when it came to the man standing in front of me. "WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE!!!???? I NEVER FUCKING ASKED YOU TO BE HERE AND I NEVER WANTED YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE! YOU CAME BARGING INTO MY LIFE AND NOW YOURE ACTING LIKE THIS!!!??? WHY DIDNT YOU LEAVE YEARS AGO!!?? I should have fucking abandoned you from the start!!!" Man, I knew it. I always know it. And I always come back. Maybe my silence finally hit him in the face-- at the time I really couldn't care. I didn't even bother looking up at his face, actually. I didn't even want to know if his words hit him as much as they always did me. I didn't want to know because they never did. And although this was one of the worst the things he's ever said to me, I doubted it would be different. I can't believe I really believed that he would comfort me after my grandparents died today. Car crashes are really terrible, huh? He always said so and insisted that he was super careful on the road. Especially when I was in the car with him. I'm not so sure that was true anymore but I enjoyed believing it. I turned on my heel and simply walked past him. I could feel his eyes on the back of my head but ignored it once more. I was slipping on my shoes and halfway out the door when he called out to me. He sounded hesitant. "Hey!!" I abruptly paused on my way out. It was colder than a witches left ass cheek but I didn't move to grab my jacket. Maybe if he knew I walked out, possibly never to return, in the freezing cold, alone, late at night, with nothing but my attitude, he would feel something. It was for dramatic flare, really; but regardless I hoped he would come running after me. "Where are you going??" He almost sounded concerned and I could tell by his tone of voice that he was regretting saying what he did. Hmm. What could I say that would anger him the most. 'To fuck your brother'? No he wouldn't believe that. 'To find that face sucker you seem to hate.' Oh that could work. Definitely. Nothing ticked this man off more than things of 'his' being taken or touched. He was too territorial for his own good. I ditched the anger/jealousy plan last minute and decided on an indirect reference to whatever his mind came up with.

"Where do you think I'm going, Lee Rang?" I stole a glance at his face as it morphed from concern-- maybe guilt-- to rage. He opened his mouth and from outside, after the door had slammed shut, I could literally hear him screaming.

"Y/N GET THE FUCK BACK IN HERE!" Damn, he sounded pissed off. I can't help but wonder what he had imagined. As of right now, I'm walking alone down the sidewalk, glad I at least took my wallet with me because I can get food now. I made dinner for us at home but— it's at home... I wonder if it's bad to say that I'm the bigger person for putting my sadness over my loss aside and still taking time to make that asshole dinner. I don't know if he meant what he said about abandoning me but it's not like it matters much. I'll just get a lap dance at the club or something and make it seem like I slept with someone when I walk back in tomorrow. That usually gets him all pissed and regretful until I tell him I haven't been with anyone. It's the best tactic to get him to apologize.

I enter a bar instead of a restaurant. Maybe that phrase of his did get to me and I didn't even realize. It's late anyways, there won't be too any good restaurants open. There aren't many people. A group of college guys, a few old men and one drunk lady. I sit down a seat away from her and she doesn't move a muscle. I order what I do every single time I enter this bar and the bartender, Teri, nods at me, glancing over at the lady. "Hey. I'll get your usual." He says. I look over at the lady, too. She's dead asleep.

"What's up with her?" I ask.

"That's Linda." He says. He says as though that explains everything. "What's up with you?" The bartender is always flirty. Which is why Lee Rang doesn't exactly approve of me visiting him and his fine establishment. Which is also exactly why I came here. "I haven't seen you in a while, babe, what's up?" He may be a try hard but he cares more than the man I love. It's a good way to get away to someone who cares for me and wants me. Even if it's a false sense of acceptance. "Didn't bring that boyfriend of yours this time, huh? He's always with you, something happen'?" He sounds curious as he places my drink in front of me and rounds the bar exit to sit next to me. I groan and take a sip of my drink.

"Just another scolding for giving a shit."

"I'm not just saying this because I want to get in your pants. You need to let him go." I know that, I really do.

"Tell that to him. He's at home scratching the skin off his arms, wondering if I really am hooking up with someone."

"You could be." I'm silent because I'm considering it. It's not like we're in a serious relationship so I have no real reason to remain. "I'm serious, y/n. Why don't you take me up on my offer?"

"I don't know at this point, Teri. Maybe I should." It's becoming more and more tempting by the minute. I turn to face him and his eyes are softer than ever. He's always got self confidence oozing from every pore of him. Similar to Lee Rang. Teri puts a hand on my cheek and I lean into it. I wasn't actually planning to sleep with someone but... if we're being honest, why not? Lee Yeon Can love a human and I'm certain that I, too, can have a change of heart. Even if I am half fox. I stare up at the man and bat my eyelashes a bit. He furrows his brows and slowly, he leans in. I close my eyes but just as soon as his lips could have been on mine, his arm pulls away suddenly. I open my eyes and Teri is off of his seat, gripping his arm and looking quite uncomfortable. Lee Rang is by his side, eyes bright yellow and his fists balled up so tightly that his veins were popping. I stand from my seat, pull a hundred from my purse, slap it on the table and throw back the rest of my drink. It leaves a sour after taste, as I've come to love. Lee Rang watches me as I wave to Teri and begin on my way out. "Bye Teri, see you next week. I'll make sure to keep in contact." I exit, the door slams closed behind me. I watch from the large window as Lee Rang curses out Teri and bolts for the door. Teri raised his hands in the air and we quickly share a pitiful expression at the face as he shies behind the counter again. I pick up the pace but regardless, I can hear his footsteps behind me. He grabs my elbow and attempts to yank me back. Thank god I saw it coming because I was able to pull away from his hold in advance. He tries again and this time, I'm too busy walking and trying to fix my shirt that he manages to force me to face him. I groan and look away.

"Would you please just look at me?" I knitted my eyebrows together. By no means did I want to. But I give in and meet his eyes in a glare. He looks conflicted and my resolve wavers.

"What do you want?" He swallows something down and tightens his hold on my arm.

"What was that back there, I thought I told you I didn't like him? Were you seriously gonna get with that guy?" My face scrunched up and I slowly exhaled any hesitation. My hands were on his chest in an instant and I shoved him backwards. He looked confused as he lightly stumbled.

"This again, huh?" I gritting my teeth. "Was I fucking stupid to hope you would come find me because you were worried!? What's your fucking deal, anyways, Lee Rang!!?? Is this the way it's always going to fucking be or are you finally done fighting!!???" He looks hurt almost. Guilty. "You're a fucking coward!" He knits his eyebrows together and for a second I find myself feeling bad. But the satisfaction I am feeling overpowers that guilt and my rage returns with a vengeance. "Did you hear me!!?? You're a fucking coward and I hope I never fucking see you again!!" Now he really looks hurt. Unfortunately for him, I'm too deep in my feelings to give more than a fuck. I spin on my heel and walk away. He stands there like a lost puppy, forcing me to use every ounce of my self control not to run over to him. I pause for barely a second— but he catches on.

"Wait. Y/n, wait." I pause once more and don't bother turning around until a bubbly voice appears behind me, close by where he was.

"Hi, handsome young man! Would you like some juice, it's free of charge and has various health benefits!" She grips his arm and firmly places a bottle of green juice in his palm. He quickly attempts to pull away but before she was able to let go of him, I rip her arm away from his and shove her violently away. I pick a stance and prepare to protect him, no matter who she is. He seems to have the same idea as he yanks me behind him.

3rd POV

The lady seemed unfazed as she stood— without so much as a tumble— and smiled kindly at the pair. "Say, what are you most afraid of?" Lee Rang stared at her blankly and gripped the side of y/n's arm a bit tighter. The woman oozed evil intent.

"Who are you!?" Y/n yelled as she attempted to stand in front of Lee Rang. He refutes her attempt and holds her in place.

"May it be abandonment?" Both Lee Rang and y/n's mouths fall open in shock. The lady grins once again and slowly makes her way toward the door of the bar they were just in, not too far away. Lee Rang is hesitant but follows her nonetheless. He stops at the door when he hears... a song, was it? It sounded like two children singing about a gate and a key. One asking for someone to "open the gate" and the other explaining they couldn't because they didn't have the key.

"Wait Lee Rang where are you going!!??" Y/n yells, watching him enter the bar after the noise. What the fuck was going on??

>>>

It'd been approximately a day since Lee Rang had mysteriously passed out and y/n was not only out of her mind, but her self control, looking for ways to help him. Unfortunately it seemed impossible to do anything but pray that he wake up. She asked Shin Ju and every medical professional she could get her hands on. None could help. Things could only get so much worse. And they did. She was speaking with Lee Yeon one day when that same damn lady appeared at her door and offered Yeon juice. However, by the time y/n was downstairs to ask who was at the door, Lee Yeon was gone and all that reminded was a bottle of juice on the floor and the old lady who seemed as if she was preparing to leave. She wouldn't let her leave like this. Not after stealing everyone from her and wreaking havoc. Y/n lunged for the old lady and prayed that she reached her in time to follow her wherever she was going. Once arrived where she wanted, the old lady awaited for the awakening of Lee Yeon before informing him of his situation. And while y/n sat a few feet away, hiding and hoping no one would see her, he surely took his time deciding on the door he would enter and the person he would save.

"Neither of them have much time." The old lady informed, placing an expression of distress on Lee Yeon's face and it was clear that the poor man was conflicted. Y/n sighed, immediately knowing which door the man was going to choose and deciding then that she would enter the other. When it seemed as if the old lady disappeared and the thickening silence in the room grew quiet, she peaked her head out from the side of the wall she hid behind and watched him. Exactly as she predicted, he entered the right door, and made his way inside to find his girlfriend and abandoned his brother. And while y/n was pissed at Lee Yeon, she knew she had expected it. He was a good man and chances were, he had a plan. It seemed both brothers managed to piss her off equally. Y/n sighed, mentally preparing herself for whatever she was to face in her kind-of-lover's memories. Her hand laced around the door knob and as she entered, she immediately found herself in a forest. A deep thicket with blood and broken trees fallen everywhere. It was the spitting image of the forest where Lee Rang had been left so many centuries ago. Faint screeches and gurgles were the only noise available. As so, the woman lifted the Hanbok layed elegantly down her body. The one she would wear so often in the years when she met Lee Rang. He loved that Hanbok. He'd told her countless times that it looked wonderful on her, it was a shame that it was dirtied with the blood of the dead and drool from zombies. It was even more of a shame that she rarely heard a compliment come from the man anymore. Not since they had been together on the mountain god's territory, living a life of romance, blood and beauty. After that, his compliments came in form of love making and loving glances; as if words meant no more than their definitions. Ignoring the branches scraping against her ankles, y/n ran through tree, thorn and ivy alike, even if those thorns did make her bleed. Even if they did make her want to collapse and just take a breather. It was all worth it, luckily for her and her lover. As when she laid eyes upon him stuck upside down in a tree, mumbling about how his brother was a traitor, she chucked the hatchet in her hands towards the zombies and decapitated them all. One by one— maybe more like five by five— the creatures lay on the floor, either dead or attempting to recuperate. When the vast majority of them were down, y/n sliced the arms of the one holding Lee Rang up and attempted to crash his fall. It didn't work, as he only ended up crushing her under his weight, but she figured it was worth a shot. Lee Rang never considered admitting it out loud until he had unintentionally— how utterly beautiful she looked, killing for him. Blood splattering across his favorite Hanbok as her eyes burned with the desire to save him. When he did realize he had voiced his thoughts, y/n glanced at him with uncertainty and wiggled out from beneath him. He followed her lead as they stood and grabbed her hand. They sprinted as far as they could. Occasionally, y/n really hoped that Ji Ah's door was easier because right now, she was regretting her choice. She loved Lee Rang but this much? Not so sure because this was just ridiculous. She should have forced Lee Yeon to save his brother and helped out her good friend instead. Once the pair had reached a burrow underneath a tree, Lee Rang slid through and held his arm out for her through the other side. Y/n was hesitant for reasons even she couldn't even explain to herself. But regardless, she was still hesitant in grabbing his hand.

"Y/n grab my hand!!!" She looked back, her heart dropped to her stomach at the sight of nearly a dozen zombies lunging for her legs. Right as she was ready to climb beneath the tree, Lee Rang gripped her wrist and yanked her through, pulling her against his chest and heaving in an attempt to recover lost air. Y/n attempted an escape from his grasp but he only tightened his hold, praying they could stay like they were at least for a few millennia. His prayers went unheard as she pushed away and landed on her back to his side. Both were silent after the loud gasps of hyperventilation died down. The creatures seemed to have a hard time figuring out a way to get through, so they could relax. But not for long. He didn't know what to say. Should he mention her wounds? Apologize? Thank her? Both? Neither? Should he just kiss her and hope she would forgive him? If she would? Y/n beat him to it as she pushed herself to sit up, groaning on her way up as her arms burned from holding herself in place. He quickly followed suit, using a hand to steady her against her back. He seemed to be out of luck as she smacked away his hand and leaned against her knees. "Y/n please. I hate having tension between us- so can you just look at me—"

"-Really?? Lee Rang?? Do you really hate this? Be honest, does it bring you pleasure to scream in the face of the woman you made a promise to be kind to? I really am not in the mood and I don't want to fucking hear it." His bloodied hand landed gently on her face and she allowed him to turn her head. She looked down however, desperate to avoid his gaze. Lee Rang's eyes softened. Even now, as she sit here waiting for him to say something, he didn't know how to express it. He didn't know how to express the fact that he was positively terrified of ending up like his brother; chasing after a dead woman and completely desperate to get her back because of his own mistakes. He should have ignored her when they first met, not have bothered to become close to her or allowed her to comfort him after his puppy had died, similar to how he expected she would end up if he kept close to her. He'd only mentioned this fear once and she seemed to disagree, insisting that if she cared about such things, she would have left him. Another thing which scared him. When she finally looked up at him, he smiled and leaned in to brush their lips together.

"Why did you come here instead of my brother? It isn't safe here. He was with that woman, wasn't he?" Y/n felt nearly frozen in place because her morals told her not to let him kiss her; yet when he did press their lips taut together, she enjoyed every moment of it, closing her eyes to savor it even when she felt his gaze on her so close, through the kiss.

"I hate you." She whispered into his mouth; he swallowed each word with hunger.

"I love you." And she was crying, hearing those words was uncommon. Rare. Coming from him these days.

"I fucking hate you. You're an asshole."

"Y/n, you know me too well." When he pulled them from the kiss, the smirk on his face had turned pensive. And while it wasn't very visible, it was there. "I know my attitude doesn't express it very well, but I never meant what I said to you." Y/n grinded her teeth, his words were too much for her to handle. She stood abruptly and turned to walk away, limping with each foot that hit the floor. "Where are you expecting to run off to with those legs?" He stood, his own injury giving him trouble in reaching her as she attempted to outrun him again.

"If you didn't mean what you said then why the hell did you say it? It shouldn't fucking matter to you or me. I don't want your apology and if you want me gone so badly, then so be it." He stared at her and took a pause, pity filling his gaze. Pity which soon turned to fear as she didn't seem to be joking about what she said. Would she really?

"Fine. Let's just get out of here." And although his gut told him otherwise, he ignored it the way he always did and continued forward. "Just don't fall behind, it would be a nuisance." A tear spilled from y/n's eye and she quickly wiped it with the back of her hand. As more spilled, one after the other, she continuously attempted to absorb them with her sleeve. But they just wouldn't stop and she hoped with every fiber of her being he wouldn't turn around. Besides, it's not like his insults and cruel tongue mattered. Regardless, she would likely remain beside his side despite what either of them wanted.

<<<

"NO, NO PLEASE!" An terrifyingly familiar voice screamed. Lee Rang paused dead in his tracks and his eyes widened incredibly, searching over and over for where her voice was coming from this time. Noting it originated from a few streets down, he pushed off his toes and ran towards the voice. The repeated screams and cold blooded whacks of an object colliding with a body gave him chills. Especially when they were y/n's screams he heard. He glanced down each alleyway he passed until the familiar figure of his love interest appeared. She was hunched over on the floor, wearing nothing more than a night gown, with her arms shielding her head from the bat that attempted to break her. His irises were set ablaze as he ripped the bat from some man's hand and twisted his arm behind his back until he screamed in agony. Lee Rang shoved the man away and took a step in front of y/n. Relief took over a bit of his mind when she gripped his pant leg and curled up against his side, light sobs wracked her body and he placed a hand above her head comfortingly.

"Who is that?" He gazed at her for a second, finding it hard to look away until the man stood and reached for his bat. Rang kicked it away and then did the same with the man, watching down his nose as the man attempted to stand

"M... my...." She hesitated for a moment too long.

"Y/n, who is it?" He sounded a tad more stern now, eyebrows furrowing.

"My ex-boyfriend... kind of. A human." The man standing tall against y/n seemed shocked at her answer.

"A human? Why won't you fight back, then?" He looked down at her and his eyes softened at the pitiful sight of her.

"Because.. because he raised me..." Lee Rang sighed, disbelief evident on his face. He shook his head and took a grab beneath the woman's arm, pulling her up to stand beside him. She wobbled a bit but managed to steady herself in time for him to release her to fend for herself.

"Who the hell are you!? Y/n, you know this bastard?" Y/n's ex— who was a previous attempt at getting over the grief when Lee Rang was with Yu Ri instead of y/n-- interrupted but he wasn't answered, and instead, once more pushed to the floor by the taller man's powerful hands.

"Yeah she knows me, but I don't fucking recall giving you permission to lay your filthy hands on things that belong to me."

"I don't belong to you, you asshole. And I am most certainly not a thing."

"Shut the hell up, y/n." His eyes studied the smaller man over and over again. "What else did you do to her, huh?"

"Lee Rang, enough! Can we just go!?" He was hesitant at her request but eventually, complied and stood to lead her away.

"Go waste your time doing something useful. You won't be seeing her again. As for me, no promises." And he led her away.

>>>

1st POV

That night, he kissed away my pain and I swear I'd never felt happier. I want to think of some other time he did something so kind. That way, maybe I'll be able to convince myself this is worth it. . . 

Ah. The first time he told me he loved me.

<<<

I was lying nude in bed, next to Lee Rang. I was so sleepy as he stroked the top of my head and held me close to him. I was having trouble keeping up my routine of drawing little things on the skin of his back because my eyes were barely open. I felt his gaze on mine even though I couldn't keep it well due to my state of consciousness.

"Y/n." He mumbled. I hummed quietly, letting him know that I was listening but also that he would have to make it quick because I wouldn't be soon. His fingertips against my lips were like heaven. Even as it is now, the love behind the touch hasn't faded and for that, I am so grateful. He leaned in close to me and placed his lips against my forehead; I like to think he was savoring the moment but of course when it comes to him, I never know. I forced my eyelids open once more-- it didn't last long but I think he took the hint. "I love you." Though I know it didn't show on my face, those three words hit me like a bulldozer, I almost woke up. I placed my hand on his cheek and nuzzled into his chest. He did the same and held me tighter against him.

"I... love... love you." It was barely even a moment later that I fell asleep. That night felt longer than any other I'd ever had. When I woke up, Lee Rang was slipping on his usual black dress shirt and pants. He was in the mirror at the end of the bed, his eyes on me through the reflection as he toyed with his sleeves. When he saw me wake, which took him a second, he turned around with a smile and leaned into the bed to kiss my lips.

"You slept a long time." I returned the gesture and held him close to me; even when he tried to pull away, I didn't let him. Those kisses lasted a few minutes, turning more open-mouthed with each round.

"Are you going somewhere?" I looked up at him and as he backed away to stand straight, I sat up. I heaved the down blanket against my chest. He didn't bother trying to hide the way his eyes trailed down my body, landing on where the blanket met the top of my breasts.

"Nowhere in particular." He sat on the edge of the bed and tugged the blanket from my hold. I was hesitant in allowing him but gave in, in the end. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled my body against his. His lips were on mine again. "Why are you hiding again? I've seen you." I pursed my lips slightly and pressed my chest against him, curling up into his lap.

"It's different now."

>>>

Oh my god, I wish I could go back to that. I had literally never been happier than then. Maybe this was a bad idea, I'm hiccupping and he's going to hear me crying. I reach my hand up and place it over my mouth to muffle any sounds that come from me. This way he won't turn around and think of me as pitiful or weak. I'm falling quite a bit behind, I'm going to have to run a bit to catch up to him, despite what he said. He must know; he must think me a nuisance. I feel my eyes puffy and warm, sticky from tears. I'm uncomfortable. My body hurts. I want to cry harder. I want to leave. But above all else, I want him to hold me. To kiss me. I wonder if he feels the same.

My entire train of thought comes to a pause when I hear a loud screech behind me. I turn around and to my absolute luck, as per usual, a fucking zombie is running full speed at me. Me, the one in the back. The one with a broken arm and fucked up legs. Please, Mr. Zombie. Please just take Lee Rang instead. Teach him a lesson or two for me but don't kill him. Because if he were to die, I won't recover. It takes me a second or two to realize that Lee Rang is screaming at me to move. To run. And that there is a 6'0" tall, 200 pound looking, probably-played-in-his-college-football-team-as-a-quarterback zombie booking it towards me. Probably to disembowel me eat my fucking innards. And I, the pro survivalist that I am, am just standing here doing absolutely jack ass shit to help anyone in anyway right now. Besides maybe Mr. Zombie is just moody. He looks pretty hungry and honestly, I drank alcohol and ate a lot of food today, I'm thinking I'd be a tasty meal. If I were that zombie, shit, I would fucking chase me, too. I still don't move, my eyes following the zombie as it fucking body slams me and tackles me to the floor-- which, by the way, is littered with FUCKING THORNS AND POISON IVY. I must be in my comedic muse era. I hear Lee Rang's voice and I feel it's literal fangs entering my skin, the creatures claws gripping and ripping into my thighs, stomach and shoulders as it scrapes at my skin. I'm literally being eaten alive. Dying. And I can't bring myself to give a shit in this moment because the one man I love more than anything has had an attitude with me this month. And that's the only reason. Because I'm down bad and I have to be in love with a condescending half-fox with anger issues and an extreme possessive complex that stems from his passionate jealousy. Because I swore to my mother I did not need therapy after she found out I was in love with a fictional parasite from a different country that has a large tongue and may look just a little bit like spider man. And because I have serious masochism issues, apparently, I am currently being disemboweled, just as I had hypothesized. I am the reason for my own death, I might as well be in the process of committing suicide right now.

Thank god Lee Rang can think properly. He lifts this motherfucker in the air and slams him into a broken tree stump nearby, splitting the thing's body in two. Man, he's strong, that looks like it hurt more than a witch's right ass cheek. As soon as the thing gives up and dies out, Lee Rang runs over to me and folds me into his arms, cradling me as he chants apologies like a broken record. What is he even apologizing for? It hurts like ass but I'm not gonna die.

My mind changes immediately when, as if on fucking queue, I cough up about a handful (or so) of blood. It's my own fault anyways. I think if I wasn't half eaten right now, maybe I would be experiencing something close to that day right about now. No one can hold me like he can.

No one.

I start crying again, but this time it's because I'm mad at myself. "I can't..." I sound like a sleepy horse, I feel my throat all locked up, probably shredded through from the attack. Even then, even with my body slowly shutting down, the entirety of my brain is focused in on Lee Rang. Why are things different? Why doesn't he love me anymore? If he asked me to, I would burn the Earth at his feet. Regardless of that will, all I can manage to force my body to do right now is stay awake. "Why are you different? Why do you act like you don't remember what we had?" Lee Rang stares at me incredulously, and I watch as tears well in his eyes. They spill over, one entering my eye and the other entering the opening of my mouth. And now more than ever, I feel fucking hydrated. I blink away the foreign substance. He's not smiling. I wish he was. I wish he was smiling but instead of his usual subtle grin, I receive a quivering lip and his tears continuously falling down onto my skin, mixing with my own droplets of regret and disappointment. I always hated seeing him cry. Because I love his smile so fucking much that whenever I see his eyes sadden, my heart saddens along with them.

"I'm sorry." This is so unlike him. He doesn't apologize. Usually only after he makes me use my safe word or after an argument... I'm disappointing myself. I want to see his face... but everything is beginning to blur together and I can't seem to tell whether it's because of his tears, mine or my own dying body. Lee Rang presses me to his chest. He doesn't like it when I watch him cry, but regardless, I hear the hammering of his heart, the saddened warmth of his chest, I feel the light, warm droplets of liquid salt on me and his heaves and sobs as he cries for me. Something he hasn't done in a long time; if ever. "I never meant for..." His hands dig into my hair. It feels good. It feels so good. "I was so fucking right, I knew this was going to happen. That's why... that's why, y/n." He allows me to look at him with lidded eyes and his sobs grow louder. "I love you." He leans down to kiss me. "I love you more than anything."

>>>

When I woke up, I was somewhere unfamiliar again. The ceiling was new, the bedding— keyword "bedding", not "cold hard forest floor covered in thorns and bugs and sharp things that could possibly leave deep cuts along my precious back"— also new. My eyes opened before any other part of my body even considered moving. The only sound I registered was the ticking of a clock on the wall to my... right, I think. I wasn't exactly sure. My thighs and ankles burned viscously, my head throbbed in a dull ache, my throat was parched like a dried loaf of bakery bread and my eyes wanted to glue themselves shut. Maybe forever at that point. I felt positively disgusting and as of then, I had no fucking control over what happened to me and what movements I made. Why, you ask? Well, because there was a heavy weight against my stomach and another restraint against my waist. I glanced downward and wasn't surprised to see Lee Rang sleeping against me. Or at least I thought he was asleep by the way his breathing fell perfectly even and his eyes were sealed shut, weighed down by heavy gray bags. I'd seen him like this before. But only a few times.

Sometimes, when Lee Rang's thoughts are too much for his brain— or when his emotions grow too strong for his heart, he lies down like this. His eyes weighing five tons on themselves and his skin moist from sweat. He looks so tired, so overwhelmed at these times and I always hated seeing him so sad. I wish I could take the pain away. I wish I could take his pain away and endure it for him; because he doesn't deserve such treatment from the world. More than that, I wish he hadn't looked like that because of me and because of my overwhelming self control, or lack thereof. Whichever that entire fiasco fell into. I wished instead of being out of control of his thoughts and attempting at his only way to find his sanity, he was there sitting next to me, making joking and smiling his dangerously charming smile like always.

I was glad he didn't wake up with my movement to sit up straight. Even if he looked sad, when I focus on his calmed face, I feel happy. That's when I loved watching him like that. When all was right and the only thing between our skin was a layer or two of clothes. The thought made me want that even more— his skin on mine and his lips molded incredibly with mine to the point where you couldn't tell where my mouth began and his ended. I ran my fingers through his hair and rubbed small circles into his scalp, loving the feeling of his soft hair between the creases of my fingers. He seemed to flinch when I tugged lightly at his roots, a small habit both of us enjoy. He snapped his head toward me and all I could manage to do was smile. I released his hair and held out my arms to him but he seemed to be in such a deep state of shock that maybe he didn't realize. I waited; one, maybe even two or three full minutes. Not just a few seconds people think of or refer to as minutes. Like he was actually staring at me for so long that I grew almost uncomfortable and my arms hurt. A pin could drop and sound like a nuclear explosion. But I didn't mind because even along with the shock, I could see the love in his eyes. The relief and the nights of praying and crying and everything in between. His mouth was ajar and his eyes blown wide and even after so long, he finally blinked. It was rapid but I could tell the reality of the situation finally hit him in the face and I was relieved that he wasn't just a staring corpse. His mouth closed and opened a few times, looking for the right words even when no sound came out.

3rd POV

"Lee Rang." Tears threatened the man's eyes— her voice sounded like a paradise he was chasing desperately and never managed to achieve until just then. He hadn't slept since she knocked out. He slid off his chair next to y/n's bed and threw himself onto her, wrapping his arms around her like she was a safety floaty and he was stranded in the Pacific. His mouth, over and over again, lipped shocked phrases until she wrapped her arms round him in return and he let out a shaky breath. "Hey, hey, it's okay." She cleared her throat; he knew she was only ridding the scratch from her voice but it worried him for a fraction of a second. He tightened his hold, burying his face in the crook of her neck, where a bit of her hair bunched together. He took a deep breath in a savored the smell of her, as if he would never be able to again. His hand switched continuously from gripping her shoulder to pushing her head into his chest.

"I love you. I love you." He chanted as if he were in a rush to tell her. As if she would disappear at any moment and if he didn't tell her, he would never be able to again. "God, I love you so much. I love you so much I don't know how to handle it."

"Lee Rang. I'm okay. I'm okay." Though his shoulders tensed when she didn't return the sentiment, her words relieved him of a bit of concern. Finally, after many long moments, he slowly pulled from her and his eyes shone like they never had, they shone with overwhelming relief. His classic grin twitched back to life a bit— which is what relieved her. "I'm here, okay? I'm not leaving you." His smile faltered but he closed his eyes, his hand resting on her head as he enjoyed the moment. He swallowed the nerves that had built in his system since they returned. Lee Rang lifted a hand of hers to his lips and sighed out his troubles one more time.

"Fuck, y/n. You scared the shit out of me." He whispered, loving the way her gentle fingers wrapped around his index. "We're in Lee Yeon's house because Shin Ju was caring for you. You've been asleep for a day."

"A DAY!!??" She stared at him incredulously and he nodded, she did the opposite, furiously shaking her head as she hastily attempted to stand up. "No, no, no. I need to get up, I have work—" He followed suit, however, and used a mere hand to pushed her back down to rest. "Lee Rang, what are you doing!?" She whined and he shook his head, smile growing wider. And as soon as his teeth shone bright like his eyes along with a few witty remarks of his, she could not, for the fucking life of her, stay mad.

"You do have work." He raised his eyebrows suggestively. "Just not with the company." And as he slowly climbed on top of the woman, she couldn't help but smile just as brightly as him. It made him so happy to see her toothy grin and giggling voice, cheeks flushed red as he caged her in against the mattress. Their noses brushed and as he playfully bit at her neck, she laughed heartily, hands gently grasping at his forearms where his dress shirt was rolled up. Y/n's laughter reverberated through his body and he had never felt happier- more relieved than now. More in bliss. Her legs gently pulled his backside further into their embrace as he trailed nibbles and kisses and licks up her neck to her cheeks and collarbone. "I love you." The phrase came out in quiet laughter and it seemed y/n was too caught up in her giggles to notice. Still, his heart dropped just a bit each time she didn't respond so he pulled away. She looked up at him, concerned with his knitted eyebrows and loss of a content smile.

"What's wrong?" She asked, the atmosphere suddenly a bit more tense.

"Y/n, listen to me. Just for a moment." She nodded, she knew very well what the topic of the conversation would be. "Lee Yeon helped us out and we're alive... but I'm sorry. I'm sorry I said those things to you and I'm sorry that we've been fighting all month. It was my fault and I wish I had never put you through so much because of my own fears. I just... I guess I was worried I would be chasing after you in the way that my brother is with Ji Ah. I thought if I distanced myself, it would fix things but... I realized it wouldn't... and that it took going through all of this and putting you through all of this for me to understand that. And I realize you won't wait around for me. But I need you. I need you and you alone because you are the most important thing in the world to me. I need you because I love you and I'm never going to love anyone but you. I intend to make you feel the same. So, I'm sorry, I admit I was wrong. Just.. Fuck. Please don't fucking leave me. Not again. Not like that."

"You're right." She sighed wistfully, closing her eyes. "You acted childish and cruel and the things we said won't disappear like they were never spoken. And although it might take some healing, we can make it through this as we always have." He nodded, swallowing down something invisible in his throat and he looked down to grip her hands within his own. "I love you." And like that, he held on so tightly that she would've sworn she thought he was never going to let go. "I love you so much, Lee Rang. Besides, love. It isn't often that I'm able to see this soft side of you." Something clicked and Lee Rang shot his head up, raising an eyebrow at her smug grin.

"If you like it so much, I can show you another way you can get it from me." A new smile plastered itself onto his face and y/n, as usual, could do nothing but grin widely at his beauty whenever he did. "But only if you promise to remain as my side kick." Y/n's jaw dropped to the floor and she knitted her eyebrows together, an exaggerated gasp forming in her mouth. Lee Rang's smile widened and he chuckled lightly.

"Excuse me, you jerk!" She lightly shoved his chest and they begin light giggling. "That is so disrespectful!" The woman turned her head and despite being beneath him, crossed her arms and pressed her lips together when he attempted to mold their mouths together.

"Hey, stop turning your head." He objected against her avoidance of his kisses and she high pitched screeches of sensitivity sounded when his hands landed on her sides to tickle the defiance out of her. In her weakened state, he took advantage of the moment to place their lips together and bit at her bottom half, both smiling against each other.

"No!! Lee Rang- STAHAHAP-" Y/n only silenced herself when a familiar face entered the room they lay in. Lee Yeon was clearly in a good mood, by his light smile at the sight in front of him— he leaned against the doorframe. "Lee Yeon what-... Lee Rang stop! Lee Yeon!" The woman pushed Lee Rang off from on top and between her legs and he fell against the mattress. She quickly made over to her lovers brother, as well as her best friend, and wrapped her arms around his torso. He placed a hand on her head. "Thank you! Thank you for everything! Thank you for helping Lee Rang! Oh and for saving my life. I don't know what I would have done if Lee Rang hadn't come out alive."

"I'm just that charming of a guy, huh? Lee Rang, your lady is all over me even when I'm in a relationship, don't you think this means I received the better genes?" Lee Rang's sarcastic grin from when his brother entered had long past disappeared and now he sent the older man glares. "What's with the looks?" Lee Yeon wrapped another arm around y/n and Lee Rang had had enough. He stood from the bed and removed his brothers arms from around y/n.

"Hey, break up the shit show, that's enough gratefulness." He looked down at y/n as he pulled her against him and her face into his chest.

"Hello y/n! Lee Rang..." Ji ah was clearly more excited at the sight of her best female friend than she was at the mention of her boyfriends brother and he glared at her when y/n went running into her arms. He sighed deeply, even more annoyed as his brother chuckled in delight.

"Could you guys get out?" He suggested.

"What so you could stick your tongue down my baby's throat? Don't you dare corrupt her." Lee Yeon pouted sarcastically, petting y/n's head gently.

"Whose baby?? Are you crazy? You want to die?" Lee Rang took a step toward his brother, each stride oozing malicious intent before the taller brother pulled Ji Ah and himself away from the area. Y/n smiled up at Lee Rang, noting something she had overheard him speaking about with the old geezer— Imugi's servant. Something Lee Rang seemed to be bothered about. Lee Rang stared at her for a minute, eyes red and his smile suddenly gone as the tension in the room turned tangible.

"You have something else to tell me, right?" Lee Rang swallowed thick when she blatantly called him out. Her eyes were soft, he eyebrows pulled upward and a small smile playing on her lips.

"What..." he paused, having a hard time keeping eye contact. "What would I have to tell you?" Y/n sighed briefly, stepping toward him with her arms around his waist. He looked down, a refusal to meet her eyes. Along with that, she sighed and gently rubbed his stomach, leaning against his back.

"Don't be afraid." His eyes watered— he would never tell her that, but they did tear up.

"That man working for Imugi- maybe it was more Imugi's doing.. but they told me I can save only you or my brother." Lee Rang only held her tighter, gripping her like she was the air he needed to survive. The last few drops of water that were slipping between his fingers. "I can't— no. I will not lose you. I can not survive without you. I'm not going to let-"

"I'm not going to let that happen, Lee Rang. I gave you my heart and no one can take that away from you. That snake is going to have to chop off all my limbs before he sees me give up. I swear to you that." Y/n voice was nothing but heartfelt understanding; a soothing ointment for the wounds he attempted to lick.

"I'm going to kill him." He whispered, sitting them down on the bed and gathering her to his chest. Y/n allowed him to hold her how he liked— using nothing but her gentle fingers to soothe his darkened heart. "I'll kill him for this. For thinking he can take you from me. For threatening us. I'll fucking kill him." He hissed, teeth grinding together in anger and his head teeming with worry, utter fear and blood curdling anger. How dare he. Y/n rubbed soothing circles into his back an hummed a soft tune into his shoulder; ignoring the small spots of warm tears that dripped along her back.

___

Thanks for reading, this is one of the longest oneshots I've written..

It was supposed to be longer but I got lost and unmotivated and writers block so I decided to leave it open ended. Very unedited and has many plot holes please don't mind. FORMAT DID NOT PASTE!!!

#lee rang #lee rang x reader #tale of the nine tailed #reader insert #one shot #fwb #angst #angstfic #hurt/comfort #fluff

[chitrolls]

I have no idea how to format this. Putting it into a post instead of an ask felt like the right thing because this turned out way longer than I thought it would. Thank you, @spectrology for the ask! I look forward to answering all the rest. This is really helping me knock some dust off. :)

CONTENT WARNINGS: Nightmares, mention of children in extreme poverty, immolation, and implied canon-compliant body horror that comes from being shoved in a helm, but nothing gory or detailed; just mention of the fear of it.

Running Delphi Electronics was a daymare in the early nights. It didn’t take long for word to get around that there’s a legitimate clairvoyant living around the Stacks and not another one of those boring psychics that flipped some cards and told people to think inwards. Things got so busy that you, Almaaz, and Lovelace (still only going by Rhiana at the time) went down to the old space docks to steal a bench. With things getting so busy, a bench was the only thing between you, your employees, your customers, and a fire code violation. One of the downsides of a combination psychic-electronics repair shop.

Now that you’ve long wizened up and keep your readings on an appointment-only basis, the bench doesn’t get the same traffic it used to. Sometimes the girls and Eli meet out there for their lunch. Or maybe you condemn Tyckho to the bench to keep him from ragequitting when he’s got to clean a spectacularly disgusting PC casing. Even you like to stretch out your long legs and have a quick smoke of herbs and dry mind honey when you feel like you’ve got enough privacy.

Tonight, you’ve got some gutter rat from Grub Town stuffing their face with a couple grilled cheeses. There’s no doubt Amoura is to blame for this. A Glossolalia lifer herself, she grew up in Grub Town until you took her in and gave her a job selling trinkets and oddities at your shop. Seeing scrawny wrigglers running around always gets her upset. Not being able to take it anymore, she put a bunch of sandwich shit in the break room fridge and bought a sandwich press. Kids quite literally started crawling up out of the sewers. It wouldn’t be so bad if they, at the very least, weren’t so sneaky about it.

Your loiterer stares up at you with this massive pair of gray eyes that say they aren’t afraid of you. Even as you take a seat on the far end of the bench, they continue to enjoy their sandwiches. You kind of recognize them through the grime and melted cheese. They know you aren’t a threat, but kids around here know they have to put on some kind of a tough front to keep the city’s adults from squishing them underfoot.

When they do start to ease up a bit, they open their little mouth.

“How do you know when, like. Your dream is a vision and not a dream?”

The streets have been talking about Delphi Vitale and speculating about how his amazing clairvoyant abilities work for sweeps. There’s also the crisp, laminated print affixed to the shop’s window detailing some of the services you provide. In-depth dream visions are one of them. You have to give the kid this stupidly animated shrug in response. It’s the only way to genuinely convey what you’re feeling with your face hidden beneath a heavy hood, some gaudy sunglasses, and a smog mask.

“You kinda just get a feelin’ for it, kid.”

What you’re not going to do right here and now is trauma dump on someone you don’t even know; especially when that someone is a kid trying to suck crumbs and the memory of cheese from beneath their fingernails. Still, you can’t help but wonder how well this kid sleeps during the day.

Growing up, you were a fitful sleeper. You were kept up all hours of the day by this terrifying daymare of a man on fire. You were half this kid’s age, maybe even younger, when the daymares began. Up until that point, you had most of your visions while you were awake with the occasional prediction shoved in some background scene of your rare “normal” dreams. You can admit to yourself that you still find the image of that man scary. Or maybe it was his presence that kept you unnerved.

In the early days of your burning man dreams, he’d be standing right at the side of your pool of sopor slime. You’d try to force yourself awake, but that just made things worse. It made his looming feel all the more heavy and even with your eyes just cracked open, you still saw him there and you always knew it was him by the sight and the smell of his burning flesh and his Empire-issue helmsman uniform.

As you got older, you learned ways to manipulate your dreams. It wasn’t much, but figured out how to fling yourself out of your body and watch your dreams like a fly on the wall. He still loomed over your body as you slept. Your dreams only changed to suit whatever in your life was different as you aged or moved hives. The closer you inched towards young adulthood, it was like the man knew you were not in your body anymore, so he started screaming for your attention.

By this time, you had surrendered yourself to the Empire to join the helmsman program. You felt there was no other way for you to survive with your chrome and, besides, you were doing pretty well for yourself despite it all. You didn’t have to deal with your sleeping daymares and waking ones that came with needing to live under the radar to survive. This new lifestyle also provided you with a small solution that kept you running for nights without needing sleep: charging stations. You’d just plug in for a while and last a couple nights on electrical currents running through your ports and brain without needing so much as a wink.

There were PSAs about running on charging stations for too long, of course, but you were fine. You figured out a system. You’d get at least one good day of sleep after several without and you were peachy. Really, you weren’t. Sometimes you’d get a bad discharge running through your ports that made you jerk and jolt about when the worst of them hit. Once you had a series of them that couldn’t have been more than half a minute, but there he was, just outside the edge of your vision. His screams became resigned sobs.

Maybe that’s why you were so off the night you were finally able to carry out your big assignment. The program wanted you hooked into some newfangled experimental ship built for navigating the more dangerous parts of deep space. A clairvoyant in the column meant they crew could more effectively navigate without getting torn up by microplanet sized space debris or sucked into a dying star.

You tell yourself things went south that night for a number of reasons. One of them being that your discharge was worse than usual. Shit, you were also pretty damn scared of being plugged into a ship for unknown stretches of time without someone around that’ll say it’s time to be dismissed for the night so you could rest your ports and get all your psionic energy back up. You didn’t want to wither away until your body let go of your extremities and eyes and senses to preserve and feed the part of you the Empire found useful.

Unfortunately, it was too late to worry about any of that. Too late to say you don’t want to be in this program. Too late to beg for a different assignment, something planetside where you could use your abilities to predict rebel activities. Too late to do anything about the sparks your ports sent up through the helms column that made an impressively long wick out of your ponytail. And it was way too damn late for you to finally be realizing why you spent your entire life haunted by daymares of a man on fire screaming for his life.

“Yeah… You get a feelin’ for it.”

#chi writes #i know this is a word salad; i'm rusty so don't bully me #this is how a hemorebel is born #what happens next may surprise you #ptolem drabbles #ptolem valens #delphi vitale #idk how to tag this so i'm playing it safe for my own finding