#don’t take me for granted

[wildfiercefree]

I miss you man. I miss these cold brisk nights. The hoodies that did little to keep us warm and the rugged skateboards at our sides. It was wild to you at the time that we could go out like that at such an hour. Now in our late teens that’s nothing to us. But even now on those nights, even though I’m not there, I hope the cold air still wakes you up and that board keeps you company as the street lights shine down on the empty side walks like spotlights that make the world feel so small and empty.

And I know you just moved across town but it feels like your towns away. Your brother’s doing good and finding his way out of the mire. I know he’s bitter towards you but he’s just hurt by it all, just like you. I miss you man. I’m sorry things are the way they are.

Maybe they’ll change but for now, hold fast.

Thursday, April 20, 2023

#aesthetic #life #journal #story of my life #teenagers #teen adventure #sick boy #don’t take me for granted #skateboards #skaterpunk #wildfiercefree

[bpdohwhatajoy]

People really underestimate my ability to fuck off when I feel like my presence isn’t wanted or valued

#ryan.txt #bpd #borderline personality disorder #I used to be awful at this #I’m getting better #wait till I’m at my full potential #to my ‘friend’ who started shit with me when I just cared about her well-being #who ignored me for an entire day #who pretty much only talks about herself #who I can’t even tell that she upsets me bc she always acts in a way that triggers the hell out of me #who can go awhile without talking to me #who after not even saying anything tried to hit me with the heyyyyy #who takes my presence and care for granted #yeah fuck you #and fuck you to my other ‘friend’ too #like don’t even get me started on these two I’m so fucking done #I hardly have any friends anymore and the two I’m closest to suck #good friend era when (it’s never happening for me)

[cultofstan]

Pics of Doc Ock from The Clone Conspiracy Event

#marvel #doc ock #doctor octopus #otto octavius #marvel comics #dare I say this is most beautiful and sexy Otto has ever looked #his bowl cut hair is perfect #his glasses are perfect #his body size is undeniably large and perfect #his suit is perfect #his mechanical arms are too thin for my liking but that doesn’t bother me at all #and dan slott is the master of giving Otto his unique voice #say what you will about this event but I’ll never take for granted how fine Otto looked here #side note: I love that Miles Warren clones are sometimes in the background because he too is hot #sadly they’re all the equivalent of power ranger grunts so they don’t really do anything #still #having an almost stereotypical old silver fox right next to Otto just shows the range of old men i love

[dashingwishes]

If I am good to you please don’t take advantage of me.

#It’s okay to reblog #really going through it #Don’t take for me granted #mental health #personal #text

[just-a-lonelypenguin]

a tiny little zine inspired by @koddlet’s how-to! (i love your zines, they’re so fun and inspiring!) i first just folded it out of a sticky note for fun and put it in my pocket thinking “i’ll fill this in later when i have an idea” and then i looked outside and it was so. fucken dark. and here we are :) i really loved treating it as an exercise in “draw whatever comes to mind, let it be as shitty as possible, just try something” — drawing isn’t something i think of as my strong suit but little doodles sure are fun!

#looking at this again as i add the IDs i think i made the darkness angled the wrong way lol #whatever #this was so fun and freeing!!! #if it was larger i probably would have added another scene and some more commentary to explain the sunset scene— #i get really picturesque sunsets where i live and it’s tempting to take them for granted but i don’t want to #so whenever someone comments on it i make a point of fully getting up and looking and just Appreciating it for a minute #every time #even when i’m kind of annoyed that it’s already getting dark when i need the daylight to motivate me to Do Stuff lmao #(how to make this story more stressful: imagine the book on page 3 is a required reading book and i have to read 8 chapters by the next day #but overall it’s just a snippet of my winter nighttime mood :) #penguin’s ponderings #i hope that’s my tag for og posts. i forget tbh

[ducktracy]

yet another reprise of the same post i’ve made dozens and dozens of times before but GEEZ! i am so incredibly lucky to be doing what i’m doing! to think i spend hours and hours and days and weeks and months and years and hopefully DECADES pouring over animation history, lauding the masters and studying their work so intently and absorbing it and feeling and identifying with it, and the fact that i get to walk the same turf they did. that i get to be a part of this business that they established. that i get to carry the torch and that, some day, no matter how small or insignificant, my own work and contributions will be regarded as “animation history” because i work in animation and all history is history. i just can’t believe that i’m privileged enough to indulge in some of the same practices that The Greats did, that i get to study their work and, if i’m so lucky, channel and make homages to it where possible.

this isn’t to say “i’m just like Tex Avery because i work in animation TOO!!!!”, but, rather, an expression of my sheer GRATITUDE and amazement that i get to do what i do at all. i’ve met so many nice people. blossomed so much as an artist and cartoonist. get inspired each day by the talent i am constantly surrounded by. and to think that i get to be a part of it!!!!! that i get to carry the torch! i know this sounds so conceited and pompous and i really don’t mean it that way at all because i don’t WANT to be known as someone who people are only interested in because i work in cartoons. i just wanna be known for me! what “me” is i guess is for you to decide! but, regardless, i’m just feeling extra thankful tonight that i’m able to indulge in my passions and SPREAD my passions and have said passions fostered. that i’m lucky enough to tread the same ground as some of the greatest creatives that gave me this ground to tread on. there will never be enough words to properly articulate just how deeply and passionately my gratitude extends.

#not naming names because i feel weird bragging about them behind their back but one person who works on our show i look up to very very #highly. I MEAN I DO FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE. i am literally surrounded by some of the best in the business. but one person i particularly revere #said they were a ‘big fan of my work’ and when i was told that i legitimately went lightheaded for a few seconds #or again Ruth Clampett commenting that her dad would ‘love to see this cartoon live on’ on my art and making me bawl like an absolute baby #IT’S JUST SO CRAZY #i just. man #it’s really beyond words #and so many other kind words from bosses coworkers friends mutuals acquaintances total strangers #i don’t take any of your kindness or even just. awareness for granted #i know i’m not often vreat at responding but i do read every single tag every ask every DM! please know i never take it for granted #thank you for keeping me company and deciding i’m worth the company to keep #okay i think i have officially gone into word salad territory so it’s time to retreat #i’ve gotten much less candid for fear of maintaining some semblance of professionality but sometimes you just need to speak from the heart #(and i’ve gotten much less neurotic about that in recent months thankfully. Tumblr is my little safe haven) #so thank you for making it a safe haven at all

[didee-anne]

First run of my training plan! It was windy but the sun was shining. 🙌🏻 Put on my worship playlist and reminded myself that I ‘get’ to run, I don’t have to, and it felt pretty decent! I’m only running twice a week instead of three but I’m hoping if I stay consistent with the two then I’ll be ok. Fingers crossed!🤞🏻

#being able to move my body is a gift I don’t want to take for granted #me #running #running stuff #half marathon training

[swagglessmoth]

Huh

HUH

#crazy ghost eyes hours means going through the deviantart #I mean #at first I wasn’t really taking any info on the deviantart for granted #bc it’s literally from 2017 #and the story may have changed #that looks pretty close to canon to me #there’s also some stuff on the ‘greats’ and the whole life goddesses spiel over there #and some minor character stuff as well #but mr papa said he wolud delete it so idk #don’t trust me with shit bro #ghost eyes #ghost eyes webtoon

[siflshonen]

The thing about watching Frieren is that instead of reflecting and thinking to myself about the folks in my life I took for granted until it was too late and aspiring to change, I realize that, unfortunately, I may have been taken for granted by a whole bunch of immature and self-centered moe elves.

#and I can’t believe I put up with them all my life #Frieren #soso no frieren #like ok certainly it’s an instance of give and take where sometimes I’ve taken people for granted too #but #I dunno the show just depresses me now #you don’t feel anything for her?! a friend asked me #and I had to be like #not really #I’m the most self centered person I know but that used to not be the case #oh well!!!! #that’s it for today’s tumblr confessional

[commander-gloryforge]

mental illness

#i think. uhm i think and this isn’t good #but i think my recent lows are like. affecting everything including my ocs #a ‘nobody will ever be able to love me’ is also turning into a #‘nobody will ever be able to love my characters’ kinda thing #i have this thing where i just randomly decide nobody likes me out of nowhere and just disappear because i think it’s ‘for the better’ #which obviously. this is not true. i know it’s not. but it’s still a thing that just happens sometimes #especially lately my emotions have been all over the place. there’s just a lot of loneliness but then i let myself be lonely because #some part of me still thinks i deserve it #not good! it’s not guys it’s not sooo good #granted ive had a busy last week so naturally i didn’t get to interact with my friends a lot #i forgor where i was going with this #anyways recent worries of me being unlovable have transferred to my ocs #i don’t think they have what it takes to be loved just like i don’t have what it takes to beloved #like father like child kinda thing #oh well it’ll get better some time i’m sure! #i’m confident that this will pass but for now i’ll just have to live through it. which is fine! #dios wisdom #vent #rant #i suppose

[diorsbrando]

i am having fun rewatching bleach, and i honestly don’t remember it being this emotional & deep so early on?????????

#i love having a bleach brain rot <3 #ʬʬ.sosa speaks.com #i’m like wasn’t it supposed to be more serious later on???? #man it has been a while #granted i don’t remember it being this funny either like the silly moments be taking me out #but damn some of this other stuff makes me wanna cry (my eyes got teary) #like the thing with orihime’s brother #chad bonding with that kid yuichi when his soul was trapped ina bird #ugh and what GOT ME? what made me had to pause for a moment #was the first time they talked about masaki and what happened to her #it rained the day before her death anniversary 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #thinking about ‘everything but the rain’ and i fell to my knees crying get me outta here #this is so sad

[viva-la-bohemia]

Desperately hoping for my fav trope to be fulfilled in this podcast:

Dads reprimanding kids that aren’t their own bc they’re so fed up with this bs

#Nick shakes scary real hard “he’s manipulating YOU DUMBASS” #Lark teaches taylor how to actually use a sword “stop using your friends as stepping stones. Also it’s ok to be angry at your dad for shit” #grant hugs normal “please stop burning the candle at both ends to make your dad proud it’s messing you TF UP” #Terry takes link out for ice cream “your idea of perfect relationships is fucked and needs to be fixed but don’t cut everyone out to do that #sparrow and hermie would actually prolly be them sitting in a room and insulting each other until they both disassociate #Sort of turned into just bonding at the end but you get what I mean #for some reason dads dadding the kids they aren’t dads too is very good to me #dndads #dungeons and daddies

[watchingyoufromthestars]

Suddenly having intense DaddiesMagia brainworms but specifically about the kiddads’ roles in the AU. Terry shatters Nicky’s soulgem which kills him and this stems an intense grief that leads to him witching out. Both events which disband the kiddads’ witch hunting group but the other three end up never hunting or even using magic again which is how they survive into adulthood. Then years later Grant relives all of this trauma through Lincoln when his own son witches out so he sacrifices himself to put them both to rest because he doesn’t want Link to continue to suffer in his suspended death and can’t live in a world without him. All the while they keep the twins in the dark about all the teens becoming Magia so Sparrow never even knows that her son is about to sacrifice his existence. Suddenly it’s too late and now she never remembers having a second child in the first place.

#daddiesmagia au #dndads #dungeons and daddies #pmmm #madomagi #madoka magica #now that it’s winter break I can take the time to design them properly and the brainrot is coming back full blast #in an ideal world I want to find a way to connect Sparrow and Code Purple and tie that to Willy as Walpurgisnacht but #I don’t think I’m smart enough for that #I’m more creative visually than writing #I’m also trying to restructure Hermie’s role since he’s technically Kyoko but Grant overlaps with that role #I’ll figure something out but he’s important to keep because of Taylor as Mami #Mami and Kyoko had a connection pre-Madoka Magica and that’s important to me to keep relevant

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

the “don’t perceive me / stop posting absolutely inane shit” tweet is sometimes (not always) me at rejectiom sensitive dysphoria twitter like a part of me doesn’t understand how you can say you are ruled by anxieties related to the approval of others and also go around in public proclaiming you believe yourself to have scientifically proven more intense feelings than almost the entire rest of the world. my personal niche and to be clear INSANE version of this is that if you claim low self esteem but also have birthday parties for yourself a part of me does not believe you

#actually in general a lot of times people who have talked about self esteem or other related problems do things that like #to me would require unfathomable amounts of self confidence #less so these days / less each year etc etc but #people really take for granted being normal about stuff i have definitely been too Fucking Nuts to even contemplate #although if i am forcing myself to be mature and wise #i guess there may be things about me other people would feel similarly about #like. ummmmmm #i have zero anxiety about cover letters and generally job hunting is not like #emotionally fraught for me #and job interviews are fine and can even be fun #i am also totally impervious to the opinions of genuine strangers #i don’t get embarrassed in front of random people i don’t know and don’t understand why anyone would #i also don’t really do the thing where i lie awake at night thinking about embarrassing stuff i’ve done #or overthinking interactions i had #ok. i think that’s my roster of reasons i could be accused of faking low self esteem #oh i also think i’m a good writer and don’t cringe reading my old writing. that’s a good one

[void-tiger]

…the difference between me and my allo friend… she already has a friendship with her crush. Her crush jokes and texts and visits her back. He’s even hugged her. And if he isn’t attracted to her back, she’ll throw all that away. Is there ANY consideration for his feelings at all?!

While me? I will rip out my own heart by keeping my distance if that’s what would be needed from me—because of a lack of interest, or because things are just complicated; there isn’t a lack of interest back. The opposite, apparently. There’s an Old Guilt about Yet Again feeling unable to reciprocate back the way they wish to…when this whole time all I’ve wanted was to try and find a middle ground. I will aggressively and persistently defend the right to JUST friendship and gently but firmly tell everyone to Leave It Alone, Stay Out Of It, Don’t Pressure EITHER Of Us. Because actual trust and respect and building a solid friendship at whatever level the other person either wants or can offer back…that means more to me than “I’m romantically attracted to this person emotionally and if they feel the same way I’d be open to exploring that with them at whatever point in the future.”

I…dunno. Maybe it’s just the difference between allosexuals and asexuals. Or Lust/Infatuation and alterous/queer platonic attraction. I won’t claim that I’m immune to limerence because…I’m not. But the kind I experience isn’t built upon The Idea of a person and what they look like…but my brain refusing to not get hyperfixated on someone and struggling to pry its jaws open to Let It GO, and…hope, I guess. Hope to finally actually be accepted and not containing myself so tightly inside.

Who someone actually is, if we have a spark of a platonic rapport (over QPR or romantic), matters more to me than an Idea of them, how they look, etc.

And it’s hard to not feel exasperated with apparently…this isn’t how people experience things. I’m always worrying my desire for a connection is too heavy and ultimately selfish. Even as…I really Don’t Care what sort of relationship I have, I just want to discover what it is and fortify it then privately compartmentalize anything leftover. While the majority of people…really don’t take someone’s feelings into consideration at all. It’s only how they feel and how the object of their attraction makes them feel.

…how am I supposed to not feel completely furious about this utter objectification regardless of someone’s gender and sexuality being considered the Acceptable Norm.

Especially when I have always had to fight so damn hard to even have friends and platonic intimacy with friends. Forget when I do have “extra” platonic attraction at play as well.

#tiger’s roar #don’t mind me. it’s just ANGY Ace Time #and I DO have the respect and care and dare I say it affection and attraction more or less returned #but like. I had to fight SO FUCKING HARD for it #harder than anyone else would’ve bothered to #…but the draw just Wouldn’t Go Away and the Draw even existed at all because they ARE someone who’s acted like they yearn for that too #that they are kind. and accept me. and have similar/same interests and to some degree a similar sense of humor #the tension…is circumstances. and misunderstandings for like. 2.5 years. but I think I FINALLY got those resolved #because…I am. stubborn like that. if I’m not told No each time I Check For A No. if I can accept I’m Not A Bother #then…yeah. I’m gonna put energy into exploring for a middle ground and defending the right to friendship and understanding/accepting #in addition to the selfwork I’m going to keep on doing. for my own healing. my own future self. #but especially when it might/is affecting other people #’iT’s nOT tHAT dEEP TiGER!!’ okay but LISTEN. I have A LOT of trauma to resolve and yearning for connection to deal with #and social skills to be stuck practicing very much delayed because my developmental environment STUNTED them #but the pain of Not Dealing With It is poisoning me so…I HAVE to deal with the extreme distress of taking that on #so…yeah. it IS That Deep to me #and when people just…take the friendships they already have for granted… BRUH.