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nickgoesinsane · 1 year

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(1/2?)warnings:cringe bad writing bad grammar maybe be a bit weirdly worded since i copied it directly from the notes app

You, Ao'nung and Tsireya were raised together since birth. You were all very close and inseparable. If one of you had a problem it was all three's problem. If one of you was upset all three were upset. But Ao'nung had always felt much closer to you. Don't get him wrong he loved his little sister with his whole heart, but the love he felt for you was different that the one he felt for her. He has always thought you and him were connected, that you were meant to be. You were not promised to each other because the Metkayina tribe was against arranged relationships but everyone thought that things between you and Ao'nung would work out on their own, after all they have all seen the lovesick looks Ao'nung would give you, including his parents. Speaking of his parents, Ronal and Tonowari held a great amount of respect for you. You were an excellent hunter and an even better warrior. You has excelled at everything at a young age, you were truly a prodigy. You were the tribe's golden child. Of course Ronal and Tonowari thought that you would be an excellent match for their son, someone who could stand next to him and not behind him. And Ao'nung thought so as well. You have always been good to him. Since you were children you could read him like an open book. He didn't need to tell you if there was a problem or if he was feeling bad, you already knew. Oh Eywa, you were so good to him. He loved you. He has always loved you. You were the image of perfection to him. His love, his heart, his very soul. He would give anything to have you. Just the though of you being his mate made him smile and gave him butterflies. He wanted so bad to tell you how he feels but he everytime he tried, everytime he looked into your pretty eyes and comforting smile the small cluster of algae that was his courage would shrink and die. But he was confident, sure that when the time comes, you will choose him just as he has chosen you.

It was a rather slow day. Both you and Ao'nung had completed you duties early so you decided to go for a swim together. Ao'nung loved swimming with you, you were so elegant and graceful in the water. You were having fun, collecting shells and other trinkets, doing tricks on your skimwings and chasing each other. You looked so content, so happy. It made him smile, oh how he loved you. Ao'nung didn't noticed he was staring until you pushed him back and pinned him to a nearby pillar. His heart nearly exploded at how close you were. You have always been touchy and affectionate with him, but when you have him pinned like that, looking down at him with that coy smirk and your hands on his waist, it made his head spin. 'Enjoying the view?' you signed to him and leaned closer, your noses almost touching. His heart was hammering against his ribcage and without even thinking about it he nodded. You smiled and ran your hands up his hips to his face, before pinching his cheeks. You pointed up to signal him to resurface. He thanked Eywa because he was sure he would start drowning if you kept looking at him like that. You sat down on the sand and pulled Ao'nung to lay his head on your lap, as you traced the tattoos on his face. None of you said anything, just enjoying each other's company. He loved that he never felt like he had to force a conversation with you, he loves that he can just enjoy you without having to say anything. You have moved on from tracing his tattoos to petting him affectionately. You were petting and scratching behind his ears and under his chin. Ao'nung didn't even try to hide his purrs, he always purred when you touched him.

(this the part where i cut out a lot of things but basically its sully arriving and some neteyam simping)

You were currently walking Neteyam back to his family's marui. You had your arm around his shoulder and his head leaned on yours. You and him have gotten a bit close since his arrival, close enough to be touchy with each other. The first time it happened was when you both were stargazing and he shared that he missed the forest but was also glad to not have so much weight on his shoulders. He explained that his father was very strict on him and had extremely high expectations so he was almost always stressed. You sympathized with him and reached to hold his hand in an attempt to comfort him. His eyes widened at the contact but he welcomed it and rubbed the back of your hand with his thumb. Another time was when you decided to take him to a secluded area that lead to a forest. He was in awe at it, he looked so cute. You played around, climbed trees and such. You struggling a bit since you weren't used to forest environment but it warmed your heart to see him so happy. Without you both realizing it it was already eclipse. You ended up laying next to each other face to face. Neteyam thanked you sincerely for bringing him here and asked meekly if you could hang out here again. You chuckled and said of course you can. He smiled so sweetly and you just couldn't resist. You reached towards his face and tucked one of his braids that had fallen in front of his face behind his ear and rested your hand on his cheek. He looked down and his freckles glowed brightly. Somehow you ended up asleep with his head on your chest and your arm around him. You made it to his marui and you removed your arm from his shoulders and smiled at him. "Thanks for today. See you tomorrow?" you asked hopefully unaware that his family was listening. He laughed softly, so softly Jake thought it was a giggle. Did his grown ass son just giggle? He already knew that this was tease material for his siblings for at least a month. "Of course." Neteyam replied mirroring your smile. "Are they gonna kiss?" Tuk asked qiuetly. Neytiri shushed her. You nodded and side hugged him before turning to leave. Neteyam turned around still smiling only for his smile to be wiped out when he saw his family all having teasing looks on their faces. Oh man it was gonna be a long night.

Ao'nung was seething with rage. He saw the way you were holding Neteyam while walking him back. But he wasn't mad at you, of course not, he could never be mad at you. It's not your fault that you're so friendly. He was mad at Neteyam, he saw the way he leaned in to you. Oh how he despised Neteyam. It was so obvious he liked you. Anyone with eyes can see it. From day one he's had his eyes on you and the way he spoke to you, looked at you, touched you made him see red. But one question just didn't give him peace. Why were responding to him? That question made all his rage be replaced with worry and dread. Why were you returning his gentle touches?Why were you always making lame excuses to be with him? Ao'nung had tried to convince himself many times that you were just physically attracted to Neteyam and simply wanted to sleep with him with no strings attached. But even that made his stomach churn, which confused him. It's true that you were popular. You were admired by many and desired by many more. Ao'nung knew that youve been with both women and men before. But your flings never bothered him, he knew they were just fun for one night. He was fine with it because he knew they didn't matter…until Neteyam. Ever since Neteyam came you barely spent time with him, always saying that you had to help the new people. At first he didn't mind, he knew you were kind and always willing to help. Its one of the many things he loved about you. It's the reason he fell for you in the first place. But even after the Sully's were adapted well enough to not need constant assistance you still spent so much time with Neteyam. He has seen you with him so many times, whether it be on walks, riding your ilus together or exploring the ocean. Your eyes would always sparkle at the sight of him. He felt something wet on his cheek. He brought his hand up to his face and oh… he was crying. He laughed bitterly and covered his face with his hands. He couldn't believe it. He didn't want to believe it. He forced himself to stop sobbing and stood up. He went out to gather materials for his courting gift. He knew you like the back of his hand he knew what you liked. He will not let you slip through his fingers. He has wanted you all his life and he will not allow some freak to steal you. He decided that he will officially start courting you. You will be his. He knew you loved him. Neteyam will regret even looking at you. It is treason to seduce the future Olo'eyktan's mate.

Fast forward to a year. The Sully's were fully adapted and accepted officially into the tribe. Ao'nung's gift was ready and waiting to be received. He poured his entire heart and soul in it, you deserved nothing but the best. The only reason he waited for so long so that when the Sully's were banished because of their son's attempted seduction of his mate it will more satisfying. He has also made effort to spend a lot more time with you. And swallowed down his shyness and started being more openly romantic with you. And to him it seemed to be working. Of course it would, you loved him. You were just waiting for him to make the first move. Or so he thought. After another day of exhaustion he decided to head to your marui and sleep with you. This wasn't anything new, he slept with you in you marui occasionally since you were children. As he walked he noticed you were already sleeping. Ao'nung smiled and walked up carefully to you in an attempt to not wake you up. You looked so peaceful when you slept, like an angel. He couldn't help but gently caress your cheek. He was about to lay down next to you until something grabbed his attention. Sonething was shining in the corner of your marui. Usually he wouldn't allow himself to snoop through your things, he trusted you with his life, but this was practically calling out to him. As he approached it he noticed it was some kind of necklace? Nothing weird you always wore different kinds of jewerly. But his heart dropped when he took a closer look at it. He lifted it up and examined it just to make sure he wasn't seeing things. And he was correct, this wasn't an ordinary necklace, but a courting gift. It was so stunning, clearly it was made with so much love. He swore he felt his heart stop. So he was right, you really loved him. You went out of your way to make this breathtaking necklace just for him. Ao'nung grinned ear to ear as he put the necklace back just like he found it, his tail thumping in excitement. He didn't want to ruin the suprise that you worked so hard to prepare for him. He went back to you and cuddled up closely with his face in your neck. He barely fell alseep he was so giddy. Ao'nung knew you loved him.

Y’ALL IT’S HERE

#╰┈➤ nick answers !#avatar brainrot #sub avatar #neteyam x reader #sub neteyam #aonung x reader

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wonwooslibrary · 1 year

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wonwooslibrary has hit a milestone!

Dear Readers, Fellow Writers, Mutuals, Members of Caratblr, and anyone else who may stumble upon this,

Wonwooslibrary has hit a milestone I never expected to reach, and I would like to celebrate it with you all, by sharing a probably-too-in-depth story: Why did I create my blog? Well, let’s begin! (I’ve been watching a bit too much of How I Met Your Mother recently lmao)

Back in about 2015, I read the first book I truly fell in love with: Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan. This novel is what developed my love for reading and English, later becoming something that would completely take over my life, and my future career. From becoming a member of the PJO fandom, I began venturing so far into the internet that I became a “fandom stan”...that name still haunts me. Since 2015, I have been reading and writing...and reading more and writing more. Of course, the beginning was horribly written sentences with no commas, like the word version of drawing the sun in the corner of the page. I began writing fanfiction in 2015, too. Naturally, it started with Percy Jackson, then Harry Potter, oh and of course 5 Seconds of Summer and One Direction (I’ve always been more of a music-based fanfic writer!) But 2020...that year really changed it all.

In 2020, I found something that really changed my life. Caratblr. The Seventeen and Carat side of Tumblr, an app I thought everyone except me stopped using in 2016. At this particular point in time, I honestly was just looking for a very specific gif of Junhui from Seventeen (center Jun from the DWC mv in the rooftop scene lmao). Thanks to this gif, something amazing happened: I found the wonderful creators associated with caratblr here on Tumblr.

At this time, I was not writing on Tumblr. In fact, the account I was using is hopefully hidden in the depths of the internet, because I really never want to look at it again. Using this Tumblr, I found some of the most inspiring people (and their content). These amazing people inspired me to create what is now one of the most cherished things in my life:

wonwooslibrary.

I made this blog at 8:29pm on December 23rd, 2020, EST. My first fic, a horribly written Joshua fanfic that I will NEVER read again, currently has 35 notes. I am not going to lie, I only posted that fanfic because of one thing: caratwritersclub’s open member applications. Freshly 16-year-old me was desperate to do something with the one thing I actually enjoyed doing. So, I wrote that Joshua fic. I posted it ONLY to be able to become a member of caratwritersclub. And on January 8th, 2021, I was officially a member of caratwritersclub. Here, I met these aforementioned amazing people within caratblr, and I would love to say a couple of things to them right now.

@gallivantingheart ♡ taylor. oh my god. you are literally my best friend. i could not ask for anyone better than you. from everything we have in common: our biases, our favorite colors, our sun, moon and rising signs, our love for miraculous and stationary. i love having a friend that is on the complete other side of the word (rip 14/15 hour time differences) but still loves to talk and yell about every small detail in our lives, whether it is a bit too personal or not. you have been such an inspiration to me, and i love you so damn much. i am proud of you for everything you have done. ps. i miss your cats xx they’re cute.

@seokmingiggles ♡ lannie!!!!! i don’t even know where to begin. you’ve been here since the VERY beginning and i just. i could sob. we have so many inside jokes and fun memories (like samanter, the popcorn-eating cat emote, the like. 10 hour discord call with ven, or even lawn). the fact that you read Baby, I’ll Be Right There, all the way through, like 4 times??? insane. i am extremely proud of you for everything you have done recently. even though i might not say it a lot, i love you and you’re still one of my best friends, even if we don’t talk nearly as much as we used to. everytime i see seokmin or hobi, i still think of you. even forks make me think of you sometimes (rip fork mf). please, feel free to reach out at any time, and i cannot wait for our next conversation (ps. #lisslansam)

@sansang ♡ liiiiissssaaaaaa <3 I cannot believe how much we have grown!! i know we haven’t talked in literally forever but...you were my first friend not only in cwc, but also on caratblr in general. i owe so much to you. you’ve believed in me and cheered me on so much, i don’t even know where to begin with making you feel as encouraged as you have made me. i love you, and i am so proud of you, especially for making important decisions like deciding to make gifs instead of writing, and i know that you are going to be amazing. the future would not be the same without you in it, and i hope we can talk more :D ps. every time i see jihoon or san, or anything abt swimming, i think of you <3 oh and also wav by ateez :3 it’s still your brand in my heart <333 (also #lisslansam)

There are, of course, a couple others who I am not close to/am not close to anymore who definitely need a huge thank you for everything: ven @heartshxkr ; alexis @woozisnoots ; eun @bermudas ; jo @ahloveisboo ; vic @svtskneecaps ; fel @minghaofilm ; meraki @merakiiverse ...I have no idea what I would do without you all!

These wonderful people, as well as other readers and creators on this hellsite have made me want to continue my writing journey here. My biggest accomplishment so far, has been the LONG process of writing, rereading, and editing my Jihoon/Woozi fic, Baby, I’ll Be Right There. This fic is almost 11,000 words long. It took me three days to write, and with the help of Lannie (@seokmingiggles), six and a half months to edit. Lannie reread this fic and helped me edit SO MUCH, that this fic is just as much hers and it is mine. (Lannie, if you’re still reading this, I’m a bit too emotional lol I’m tearing up :EUWAH:). It currently has !! 197 !! notes. Writing BIBRT has made me realize that I love writing. No, it’s not what I’m doing as a career (I’m an education student lol), but I want to keep this blog around for as long as possible.

And with wonwooslibrary, I want to encourage all those writers who are just as young as I was reading fanfics on Wattpad. I repeatedly posted and deleted fics because I thought they weren’t good enough, but here is some advice for you: you write for you. You should write because you enjoy it, not because people make you feel like you have to. Write what you enjoy, what tropes you like. Don't let people tell you what to write, that’s what takes the fun away from it.

To end this unreasonably long, sappy, over-emotional post,

Thank you to EVERYONE who has supported me this far. I am excited to take my writing blog to the next steps and continue writing and making friends with the wonderful people in caratblr.

And for the actual milestone: HAPPY TWO YEARS TO WONWOOSLIBRARY!!!

Thank you, once again, for everything, lovely readers, fellow writers, mutuals and patrons of caratblr. Thank you.

Love,

Your friendly neighborhood huihui, Samantha Jayn (wonwooslibrary)

#💫sam’s life #happy TWO years besties

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bloody-shadow666 · 11 months

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Hey. Hey look at me. *shakes you by the shoulders* Don't buy a fucking Vizio smart tv. I know they're cheap. They're cheap for a reason. This thing floats banner ads across my screen while I'm watching tv. The home screen is nothing but ads. It takes 20 minutes just to find the app you want to open because it's so lagged down by all the ads. The buttons don't do what they're supposed to. It will reset your shit everytime it updates which is every other day. Sometimes it has a completely different layout for no reason. please get literally anything else

#this is the stupidest worst smart device ive ever owned and i had a fire stick that was 6 years out of date #Today it has decided that all of the shortcut buttons lead to the home screen #Also? No 5g internet capacity. It has the worst modern internet receptor I've seen #It keeps rearranging my apps and signing me out and I'm going to smash it with a hammer #My roku would never

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gratitudegainsclub · 1 year

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Saturday Feb 11 2023

- grateful for sleeping in and Andy leaving the bed early when I asked him to not wake me up 🥺

- grateful for staging in bed for another hour just on my phone!! Feels so nice to not be in a rush or have somewhere to be

- grateful for the treadmill and standing desk + monitor set up, everytime I use it it actively brings some joy!! And makes studying so much more fun and productive feeling. Grateful for opening the windows because it was nice cool weather and I wanted to get a breeze going throughout the house. Felt peaceful and lovely

- grateful for my affirmation app reminding me to be gentle on my body. So I took a break when I felt like taking a break and just relaxed. Grateful for my brain being good at pattern recognition for test taking lol. Grateful for heated blanket. Grateful for Liz and Andy entertaining my mental going crazy from studying. IDARUCIZUMAB!!!

- grateful for my body being able to run 5mi! Grateful for my awareness and in touch with self-ness I’ve built over time, talking to Lydia and also tiff yesterday makes me realize some people live a completely different life with a completely different relationship w themselves/perspective idk how to explain. It just feels so different in terms of self actualization I guess you could call it

- grateful for andy being able to tell the green bean incident upset me, grateful he apologized and grateful we were able to make fun of it once the grumpiness passed! And grateful he could tell when I started cheering up again! grateful for going to grocery store and waiting years for salt and straw only to be mildly let down as always. Grateful he put up with my meanness because i was annoyed earlier, grateful he was willing to wait so long in line in the cold, grateful he let me choose the flavors, grateful he samples wheat I tell him to, grateful he realizes he should treat me like a queen and make me happy. HEH HEH

- grateful for not caring when I see Stanford people downtown! I was looking an absolute mess but I simply don’t care anymore about my image lol or I guess I feel comfortable enough with where I stand that I can’t be bothered by these encounters. Woohoo progress and less anxiety!!!

- grateful for beautiful pink clouds across the blue sunset sky! Felt like a porter robinson vid

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fabulousraven · 2 years

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Different then, Different now. (Kabataan Essay)

It was a wonderful day when the officials announced that the classes were suspended. A day that turns into a week and a week that turns into months. A day that the students did not expect to not see their friends, classmates, teachers, and their relatives for a long time. A day that changed the life of some.

“March 13, 2020” is the exact date when our school announces that the classes were suspended as per the Department of Education (DepEd) due to Coronavirus Disease (COVID-19) surge, an infectious disease caused by the SARS-CoV-2 virus.

If I'm being completely honest, I was pleased at the moment. After all, who wouldn't be happy if classes were suspended? Up until the community quarantine turned it into weeks and even months. It was like being on a roller coaster; there were days when I felt elated, stressed out, and worried. For us, or rather for everyone, it was not simple. Everyone at the moment was concerned about how they would get by and where they could buy their necessities, and several jobs had been lost.

My father, who works abroad, spent a year with us due to a trip or company cancellation. My mother, who works, was also barred from going to work, but after a month she was given it back. She now risks her life to go outside, just like my father does whenever he picks her up. In order for us to survive the pandemic, my parents decided to look for a business. We started selling face masks in our place, then later on, online.

Some people might judge me if I say this, but to be honest, I enjoyed the months of being at home. It might be hard, but it was the first time I felt complete. What could I ask for? My father is with us for a year, which rarely happens for someone who is working overseas. Even if it is depressing at times. I am complete, we are complete.

It makes me feel nostalgic every time I reminisce about those times. Due to social media, particularly the app TikTok, which allows users to create and share short videos, there were trends that developed and which everyone tried, as well as music and movies that became well-known. Suddenly, a coffee that not everyone wants is desired. A pandesal with a twist. Some of the folks become more enlightened and open minded. To make a long story short, during those times, things occurred that no one anticipated.

The idea of staying at home, spending time with family, taking care of oneself, and so forth., appealed to my introverted self, which I believe is one of the main reasons why I enjoyed it. All of the things I wanted to happen in a day took months, or rather a whole year. However, I also became aware of something during those days when the pandemic started to gradually return to normal. I acknowledge that the feeling is different from before. It is not the same, as it was.

When DepEd stated that classes will resume in August, I began worrying excessively about how I would handle the stress once the classes began, and the lessons in particular. Especially if you're a slow learner. It did not process me at all, I just thought of it everytime. I also remember how sad I felt when I learned that my friend would temporarily stop studying due to financial concerns. It reminded me of how the government had failed to consider the underprivileged citizens and students.

The government did not even have a specific plan for all the students, teachers, and educational staff so that no one would be left behind; if they had merely taken action in advance, it would not have been as difficult for everyone. It is tiring to observe that, when people need them the most, they do not listen or show. The pandemic vividly revealed the corrupt nature of both the government and the educational system. Once more, I'm asking the inevitable question, what else can I expect?

The online classes have now officially begun after several months. I had first assumed that I would enjoy the year even though I would not be seeing them in person, but as soon as it began, I just felt uneasy, burdened, and anxious. It is kind of odd because many of my current classmates were formerly my colleagues, and my best friend is even in my class. Why do I feel that, then? I should be grateful.

In those months of being in online class, the entire month lasts with me feeling afraid and worried about how people will react to what I say, how I respond, and how I appear. That led me to the conclusion that what people think of me now matters more to me than it did in the past.

I believe the pandemic has had a significant impact on my interpersonal relationships. Because of how isolated we were with the people during the lockdown, I became distant from them. When my family would urge us to go outside, I can still clearly recall refusing because I did not want to be seen and did not enjoy being outside. Usually, I would rather be at home.

Being in this position is frustrating; not because I hate who or what I am, but because it hinders me from taking advantage of my possibilities and from conquering my shyness. Even if I am making every effort to get better, there are times when I did not give it my all and failed to conquer my weaknesses.

How ironic that the strand I took at UPHSL (University of Perpetual Help System Laguna) after high-school is HUMSS (Humanities and Social Sciences) which required a lot of interpersonal interaction. But I also kind of like it because I believe that writing is one of my interests. I want to express my desires, but I also want to keep them to myself and not be heard by anybody else. Additionally, since no one would immediately judge me if I wrote something, it would help me express myself.

When the Face-to-Face Classes began, I had a mixed feeling of wanting it and not wanting it. I did it because I believed it would help me regain my previous level of socializing. And now that I have used it, I believe it to be somewhat effective. Naturally, there is still some holding back, but I believe there has been progress. Hopefully.

I would like to just go with the flow for the time being; I just want to enjoy my Senior year of High-School and give it all I have got before heading off to college, so that I would not look back with regret. Some people might find it challenging to adjust. The way of life before the pandemic has changed significantly and is no longer the same.

I want to look back on this essay in the future to see how far I have come in the last seven years after I finish writing this. To see how different I was then, how different I am today, and how different I will be in the future.

#KabataanEssay

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thedevilandhisbride · 3 years

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hello! i have rlly cool apps for systems! [and the second one is for nonverbal folk n alters n stuff!] first app is Simply Plural! it helps track switches, and you can also have a bunch of system information there! they have a discord where you can suggest changes and it even links up with PluralKit so you can import your system (and i believe it syncs switches through PK as well!) its completely free and really helpful! you can even have custom statuses like one that we have which is "nonverbal" :D its still being updated and worked on but its amazing! you can also add friends on there! it works for android and apple! update: [there is also a web version of it! it links everything over, but it does have a bit of trouble with a few things that you can only do on mobile! ive personally come into two issues only, and they are that that you cant change your system profile photo on the website for it (this is due to funding! not their fault at all :D!), and i have significant trouble selecting any amount of text, but its all good and dandy!] second app is Leeloo! we recently found this app when our nonverbal little was in front, and its been super helpful! its an AAC app for nonverbal/semi-verbal people, alters or other, and it allows you to ask questions or ask for certain things through the apps buttons that go through into text-to-speech! it has a really cute artstyle all around and the icon for it is just adorable! the packs they have are really helpful, and despite a lot of button packs being premium, all the packs that are free are extremely helpful! i know our little is looking forward to using it around a friend of ours we are seeing soon! you can change the voice that is produced to say what is needed, and you can even turn on and off the vibration feature for when you press things! it also allows you to add multiple people to the app, im guessing so you can have it logged into multiple, what is calls, "children" on different devices! it only takes an email to sign up and its completely free besides the premium! also for leeloo i would love to mention that everytime you open it and the person using it is logged in to their 'account' of sorts it says "hello [name]" i just went to check it out again to make sure i was spelling it right and our little got so happy hearing the "hello [his name]" Third and fourth apps are Cough Drop or Symbotalk! (This is taken from @sunken-courthouse 's reblog!) -> "We have used both and they both have web versions and apps. they're more "traditional" AAC boards where you tap on images instead of typing, but if you have a good board and know how to use it, it works just fine if not better." Sunken Courthouse also suggested our fifth app, Antar! -> "It lets you text 'yourself' thru different profiles. it's much more aesthetically pleasing than other apps too." Though they did state they believe it is only for Android. hope this helps! update: [PLEASE feel free to add onto this! i believe our asks are still open, and because we are viewing tumblr more, and if you want us to add it on ourselves, please ask us too! we would be more than delighted to!! :D] [hey! we keep seeing people reblog this, so here is an update! (5/12/2022)] [moved the update to the bottom, edited title for more apps, and added two more apps for nonverbal folk! (8/11/2022)]

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xaphrin · 3 years

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So, there’s some angst in here, if you want to call it that. I blow goats when it comes to angst so I genuinely apologize, but... here we are.

Also I’m sorry it’s late and short, and completely unedited. I’ve been battling a full array of... stuff for the last few months. So, this is what I managed to eek out this week.

- - - - - - - - - -

The lobby smelled of sterile, but stale, air, and also of sadness and despair.

...and death.

The lobby of the ER always seemed to have the faint smell of death that permeated everything.

His stomach twisted and turned as guilt rose into his throat, nearly strangling him of all the air in his lungs. It was as if Damian ran his hands down his thighs and he leaned forward, letting his head drop between his knees. His phone dangled in front of his face, and his thumb hovered over the “Empty Cart” button. He couldn’t look away from it - this cart filled with the best of everything.

For a child they would never have.

Ignoring the sensible part of his mind, Damian locked his phone and leaned back into the hard plastic chair. His head rested on his shoulders and he let go of a long, deep breath, as he stared at the ceiling. In the back of his mind, he imagined a little girl with the same soft smile as his wife, the same quiet giggle, the same deep midnight hair…

Shaking his head, Damian sat back up and opened his phone, hitting the “Empty Cart” button, and then cleared the notes app containing possible names. There was no use holding onto something that would never happen, and he felt guilty that he continued to try - over and over again. Raven had warned him when they had gotten married, and again after her first miscarriage, and again after she had gotten pregnant this time. She had warned him that there were still curses lingering inside her from her father, even though he had been defeated.

This was one of them.

His heart felt heavy, and he felt his hope dissolve into a thin layer of dust. He couldn’t keep doing this to her, and himself. That thick, poisonous feeling of guilt choked him again. He kept making her live this nightmare over and over, and everytime they had a thin ray of hope that maybe this time was different, only to be crushed again. Damian took a deep breath and let it escape. Tomorrow, he’d make an appointment for a vasectomy.

“Damian?”

He looked up to see Raven standing over him, looking as exhausted as ever. She was pale and drawn, and her hand ran along the length of her neck. Her eyes met his, and he watched shame fill her eyes before looking away. It felt as though all the eyes in the lobby were watching them and this private moment.

“We need to stop by the pharmacy on the way home.”

He nodded and stood up. Raven clutched her discharge paperwork, letting her head dip, as if she was trying to hide from the rest of the people in the lobby. With a soft sigh, she slipped her free hand into his. It was clammy and shaking, and Damian just wanted to hold her close until the rest of the world dissolved around them. He wanted her to know that he was here for her - no questions, no judgments. They stepped from the shadows of the ER into the brilliantly warm and sunny day. The kind of day where he would take her to the posh beach house down south, and just lounge around in the sun with her.

Instead, he was here. Grieving with her.

He glanced down into her face, seeing the sorrow draw lines across her forehead as she fidgeted with the ring on her finger. Damian raised her hand to his mouth and kissed her fingertips. “What can I-”

“I think we should-”

They both snapped their mouths shut, waiting for the other to speak. Damian nodded for her to go first, staying quiet. Raven looked into his eyes and then away, as she took a shaking breath, trying to find some kind of courage to speak.

“I think we should get a divorce.”

What.

What?

What the fucking Hell…?

He stood there, reeling. It felt like he was going to fall to the ground, her words scratching against his skin like claws dripping with poison. He blinked several times, trying to clear his head in a way that made no sense at all. His stomach rolled and twisted, and Damian took a deep breath trying to calm himself before his temper took hold. Pressing his lips in a firm line, he stopped walking and stared firmly into her eyes.

“Okay.” He cleared his throat and looked at Raven, firmly in her eyes. “Can you tell me why?”

She sighed and met his stare with one of sorrow and sadness, and resignation. As if this was somehow the only place her soul belonged. “You want a child, Damian. Progeny to carry on the world you’ve created and live in. You want something I am clearly unable to give you, no matter how many miracles we try. This is who I am - cursed and broken - and there’s nothing we can do to fix that. I can’t give you what you want.”

Damian let go of a breath he had forgotten he was holding, and a weak laugh escaped. Relief flooded his chest and he shook his head. “That’s it? That’s the only reason?”

Raven pursed her lips and stared at him. “What do you mean? The only reason? This is important to you.”

Damian stepped up to her and cupped her face tilting it up to his own, pressing his lips to her forehead. “First of all, my love, you are not cursed and broken, nor will you ever be. And if you call yourself that again, I promise to turn you over my knee and spank you.”

He felt a shiver run down her spine, and he smiled.

“Second of all, I want progeny - as you so tactfully put it - with you. Not anyone else. Only you. I love you, more than I have words to explain. A child is a gift and a blessing, but it’s not the only part of my love. I love your smile-” He kissed her lips softly. “-your laugh-” He kissed her again. “-the way you get so involved in books and magic-” He kissed both of her eyes. “-the way the world around you continues to fascinate you.” He kissed her forehead again. “I love the way you rise early and whisper things in my ear that you think I don’t hear-” She flushed and he kissed her cheeks. “-and the way you dance when you think no one is watching you.” She chewed on her lower lip, and Damian kissed her again. “I love everything about you, your womb is not paramount, I assure you.”

Raven opened her mouth to try and say something, but he cut her off with another kiss, his fingers curling into her hair as he deepened the kiss until she was gasping, clinging onto his shirt.

Damian pulled away and kissed along her jaw. “Besides… if you decide to leave me, I assure you that I will spend every hour of the rest of my life working to get you to come back to me.”

When he pulled away, he saw tears gathering in her eyes, and he knew that everything was going to be okay. They both needed to heal, to collect broken pieces of their hearts and mend them back together, but they would do that with each other. This was, first and foremost, a partnership, and he wanted no one else to be his partner.

He kissed her forehead again and took her hand. “Let’s get you home and order pizza, my love.”

She gave him another weak smile, but this time it reached her eyes. “You know just how to charm me.”

He opened his car door and helped her inside, a warm smile filling his face as he held her hand. “Yes. Because you are my wife, and my whole universe, my love.”

Raven just flushed and buried her face in her hands.

#damirae #damirae week 2021 #damiraeweek2021 #TW #miscarriage #Day One: Parenting/Family #Look ya'll know how I feel about pregnancy/family fics #so ya know.......... make it sad?

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mintmatcha · 3 years

Text

9 months, 29 days

Matsukawa and Hanamaki

chapter two of 10 months

CW: nothing in particular for this chapter, but series is an angst story containing mentions of death. be warned

“Oi,” Mattsun’s tugging on his outdoor shoes, trying his best not to crumple the heel. Rain beats against the roof, so hard that a leak has formed in the center of the locker room. It drips so rapidly, that constant little dripdripdripdripdripdrip that dips into his brain and makes him irrationally angry. Everything’s been making him angry today though.

Practice was supposed to end an hour ago. As much as he loves playing, Mattsun wasn't like Oikawa; this kind of work, this kind of pushing himself to the brink, wasn't fun. He wanted to go home, to finish up his homework in complete silence, maybe jack off, and then sleep all fucking weekend.

In fact, if he could go the next couple days without speaking to anyone, he’d be perfectly happy. No parents, no siblings, no exceptions.

“Oi, Issei,” Makki’s shoe thunks against his lower back, firm enough to push him deeper into a squat, and Mattsun feels the corners of his mouth twitch up into a smile. Pain pulses in his knees everytime Makki thumps his dirty old shoe against him. "Did you forget your umbrella again?”

Mattsun’s umbrella sits in his open locker.

“Aren’t you being too casual?” he tries to remember why he was just in a bad mood, but just can’t. His name on Makki's lips bounces around his skull on loop. Issei, Issei, Issei- it's such a pretty name. If he asked, he'd say it again and again, but the gym door's there, unlocked, waiting to be opened, waiting to catch them being too friendly with each other.

“It’s just us. The underclassmen left already and our fearless leaders are still practicing.” Makki shrugs, “They wouldn’t think it was suspicious anyway.”

Mattsun jumps to his feet with all of the energy his body can manage, knocking Makki off balance enough to knock him onto his ass. He lands with a splash, sprawled on his back. They look at each other for a moment, wide eyed as they process the scene. Makki lays in the puddle, that dreaded drip bouncing off his nose and down into his mouth, which is parted in fake horror. His school uniform and bag covered in growing, dark wet spots, probably crawling in athlete's foot. Mattsun freezes, unsure of whether he should apologize or laugh. With a scowl, face knotted up in disgust, Makki silently undoes the latches to his bag and pulls out his umbrella. With a press of the button, it unfolds. The leak forms little droplets that roll down the black fabric onto his stomach.

“No one warned me it was raining inside too.” Makki huffs before then both break into laughter. It’s not that funny, but it’s what Mattsun needed. He doesn’t stop until he’s hunches over, clutching his side and trying to blink away tears, completely breathless. His eyes never leave his friends and that makes it better, makes his body feel warmer.

“Don’t open an umbrella inside; it’s bad luck,” the brunette reaches out a hand and Makki takes it.

The others always talked about holding girl’s hands and enjoying the size difference, enjoying how tiny they felt. They liked the delicate fingers, the thin palms, but Mattsun never really understood it.

Makki’s hands were the same size as his. Coarse and dry, a bit calloused on the palms, and they fit perfectly together with his. His fingers are thick, still sweaty and warm from practice, and yet Mattsun wants them interlaced with his own. Makki squeezes, rubbing his thumb along with lines of his palm like he knows exactly what Mattsun’s thinking about, before pulling himself up.

“Bad luck doesn’t exist, dude.” Makki twirls the umbrella, “Nothing’s going to happen to me.”

“I hope not.” Mattsun adjusts his grip and does exactly what he wants to, squeezing his fingers in between his best friend’s.

“So, did you forget your umbrella?”

Mattsun’s umbrella sits in his locker. It’s sitting there in the open, a bright Seijoh blue. They both see it, they both know it’s there. Mattsun reaches in and pulls on his shoulder bag with a shrug. Then, he silently closes the locker.

“Yeah,” he lies. The lie makes the next part easier to explain to the others, “I was going to wait until the rain stopped.”

Their hands are still joined. He tries not to fixate on the warmth.

“Nah, don’t be stupid,” Makki starts walking and Mattsun follows. He knows the drill by now. “Share with me. I’ll walk you home.”

They step out into the downpour, shoulders pressed into each other, only half covered by the tiny umbrella. They occasionally squeeze each other’s hand, a silent acknowledgement. I know what this means, it says, I know you didn’t need me to walk you home. I know we just needed an excuse.

“My bookbag’s getting soaked, Hiro.”

“Then switch arms, dumbass.”

“Then I couldn’t-” Mattsun chokes on his words as something clatters behind them. He quickly swivels, checking to see if the campus was empty, only to be greeted by emptiness. The rain fogs up the street, giving them a curtain of privacy. This thing between them, whatever it was, was just for the two of them.

“It’s just us, Issei,” Makki cackles, “You worry too much.”

He sighs and continues forward, “I just don’t want people talking.”

“Some friends, like us, are just touchy, it’s no big deal.”

Mattsun dips down and presses his forehead against his friend’s temple suddenly. The humidity of the rain doesn’t hide the long, warm breath Makki lets out at the touch, and the rain doesn’t hide how his eyes flutter shut. Solitude makes him bold.

“Yeah,” Mattsun whispers, lips so close that they almost brush against his cheek. It’s plump, dusty pink that almost matches his hair. “I’m just touchy, I guess.”

Makki nuzzles into the touch. “Your future girlfriend is gonna love that about you.”

“Don’t say stupid things like that.” Mattsun whispers, tugging him closer by the arm until they’re chest to chest. Being wet makes the fabric seem thinner and the space between them seem smaller.

The other guys always talk about short girls: dipping down to kiss them, having their girlfriends stand on their toes for a kiss, feeling big and strong compared to them.

Makki’s face is level with his. It'd be so easy.

“I don’t want a girlfriend.” Mattsun says.

“Oh yeah?” Makki flashes his typical grin, “Then what do you want?”

3:24 Two full hours before his alarm. Mattsun stares at the texture of his ceiling and tries to think about nothing. His hand feels empty. It’s unfair of his brain to remember that moment so vividly. It’s a meaningless memory, something that should have been long forgotten, but god, his brain refuses to let it go. If he closes his eyes, he can still feel the smooth, supple skin against his nose, smell the hint of aftershave Makki bought from the corner store. He flips the pillow and buries his head into the cool side. He tries to think about nothing. Makki's eyes were so sunken in, so flat. It makes his stomach churn to think about it, to think about how he’s dying. He gives up and pulls his phone from the side table. Why does he care? They don’t talk anymore. Makki just wants him to help plan a stupid party. They don’t mean anything to each other. Not anymore. Mattsun checks Twitter. The top trending story is about a breakthrough in neuroscience, but his eyes won’t focus to read it. Exhaustion makes him stupid. His hands shake when he opens his texting app. He tells himself he's texting Midori, but he types in a new number instead. One he knows by heart.

mi>hey mi>could you do breakfast

ht>who dis?

ht>i told you to lose my number yuuji

mi>not yuuji

mi>issei

ht>lmaooooo sorry ht> the old place at 9?

mi>k mi>... why are you awake

ht> headache. ht> why are YOU

Mattsun doesn't answer. He just stares at the ceiling again.

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hyuniepot · 3 years

Text

the butterfly effect. || chapter 7 (finale)

chapter word count || 2,333

genre || thriller, angst, drama

members || mark lee, na jaemin, lee jeno, huang renjun, lee donghyuck, zhong chenle, park jisung

warnings || mentions of death, implications of depression

pairing || fem!reader x jaemin || slight fem!reader x mark

synopsis || you never thought you’d be able to play with fate so easily, especially not through some shady app. but you suddenly must say goodbye to what you know and hello to a new world where everything seems perfect.

taglist || @gothboyjisung @jeongyoonohs @doiewonu @huanginjoon @wordsgodeep @colpen

previous chapter

[6:30 a.m.]

Your eyes flutter open to the sound of your alarm. You recognize your old room immediately. You don’t know what to feel; Your first reaction was to lay in your bed, staring aimlessly at nothing.

You finally snap back to reality when you realize your alarm has been going off for minutes now. You turn it off and sit up, catching a glance at yourself in the mirror. Your dark circles had returned, however, they didn’t look as bad as you remembered them.

You had fallen asleep in yesterday’s clothes. You slowly put your hand in your pocket, relief filling your body when you feel the smooth plastic of the polaroid photos still there. You can’t bring yourself to look at them — and frankly, you don’t want to yet — so you open your bookbag and shove them in. You pull out your phone.

It’s September 6th. Not the 18th, like it should be. Which means you weren’t even gone at all in this universe. You wonder if Mark will wake up on the 6th too, without a single memory of the past week and a half.

You try not to think about it. You unlock your phone. The ButterFly app is gone. Out of curiosity, you go to the app store and search it up. It’s gone.

You open Instagram. There’s no ads for it. The Instagram account that had advertised it was gone. It was the same on Twitter. You search the app on Google. There’s no results.

You sit back down on your bed, putting your phone down and running your hands through your hair. Your head was already hurting from confusion. You sit there for a few moments before picking your phone back up and looking at your contacts.

Everyone was back. Jaemin, Jiwoo, Jeno, Renjun, everyone. You stand up and run downstairs, looking for Jisung. You make your way to the living room and spot him on the couch, watching TV, already in his school uniform.

You can’t even bring yourself to cry. You don’t have the energy. You want to speak, but you don’t know what to say.

He must have heard you enter the kitchen. “Good morning.” his voice is quiet, no emotion.

“Good morning.” you choke out.

You’re overwhelmed. You exit the kitchen and return to your room, throwing on your uniform and making yourself look presentable before you make your way back downstairs. You enter the living room again and sit next to Jisung on the couch.

You take a deep breath. “So… how are you?”

Jisung looks at you with a confused expression on his face. “Fine.”

You nod. “Good… good.” You look at the TV, trying to muster up the courage to speak. “Can we talk?”

Jisung sighs. “About what?”

You shift uncomfortably in your seat. “I mean… if you’re ever feeling down… you know you can talk to me, right?”

“Yeah.” Jisung turns his head towards you.

“So… is there anything… troubling you?” you ask.

Jisung pauses for a moment. “No, not really.”

Your shoulders dropped. Talking to him was useless. But you knew you couldn’t give up. “Jisung… I know things aren’t the best sometimes. Trust me, I know. And when I was your age I wished I had someone I could talk to, and I just want you to know that I can be that person for you. I’m your sister. You can trust me.” you tell him.

He stares at you for a few moments. “I know that.” he grabs the TV remote and turns the TV off. “But… even if I do talk to you, does it really change anything?”

“There’s always a chance,” you reply, just happy that he was finally talking. You realize he sounds exactly how you did when you spoke to Mark just the day before.

He gets up from his seat and starts walking out of the room. You jump up and follow him. “I don’t know everything, of course, but I might have some advice up my sleeve.”

You follow him into the kitchen. “We should get going.” Jisung tells you.

You sigh. Any progress is still progress, right?

It was time to remember your normal routine; You and Jisung walked to the bus stop together. Jisung would meet up with Chenle there and walk with him to school while you took the bus with Jaemin; your school wasn’t far away from home, but Jaemin lived farther away so he took the bus.

It’s silent on your walk to the bus stop -- just how you remember it.

When you reach the bus stop, Chenle is already there. He smiles. “Hey Jisung, hey (y/n).”

You nod. “Hi Chenle. Have a good day, okay? Both of you.”

“Will do!” Chenle is as energetic as usual. Jisung just nods. You watch the two walk away.

You stand idly, waiting for the bus to arrive. Your heart pounded at the thought of seeing Jaemin. The bus comes into your view. You feel so nervous you get lightheaded.

The bus stops and everyone waiting files on; You made sure you were last. Jaemin would have a seat reserved for you anyways.

Jaemin looked how he normally did. Hair messy, completely occupied by something else — but he was so beautiful. You hated that you had taken his beauty for granted, and his love. You slowly make your way to the seat he was sitting in.

He looks up, a smile decorating his face the moment he catches a glimpse of you. He waves and picks up his backpack so you would have room to sit. “Hi, baby.”

You sit down next to him and immediately wrap your arms around him, not caring if the other passengers rolled their eyes at the PDA.

“Oh, woah,” Jaemin chuckles. He hugs you back. “Good morning? This is different.”

You smile. “Good morning… I’m sorry,” you say, letting go of him. “I just… really missed you.”

He giggles. “I’m glad, but it’s been less than 12 hours since we talked last,” he kisses your forehead. “Have you finally reached Na Jaemin levels of being whipped?” he asks.

You playfully hit his shoulder. “Shut up, I’ll never be as bad as you.”

He covers your face in small kisses. “Oh really?”

“Yes, really,” you laugh. “Now stop it.”

He leans back in his seat. “Fine. Only because you asked.”

The laughter fades and you’re left with an empty feeling. You can’t exactly describe it — you feel overjoyed to have Jaemin back, but you almost feel guilty as well. Guilty that you were happy without Mark.

You grab onto Jaemin’s hand, and your heart skips a beat when he gives your hand a squeeze. You spend the rest of the ride to school just enjoying his company.

School itself didn’t feel too different. It was the one constant thing despite what universe you were in. You would once again have to adjust to your old schedule.

“There’s my two favorite love birds,” a voice says.

You turn your head to see Hyuck, looking happier than ever. Jaemin moves away from you to let Hyuck walk in between you both. “Good morning, Hyuck,” he says.

“Good morning!” he replies, beaming. “I couldn’t say it was a good one, until I talked to my two best friends,” Hyuck coos.

“You are so gross.” you reply, chuckling. Although you had spent the past week with Hyuck, it almost felt like he was gone too. Talking with him like this felt so right.

You finally reach your locker; Hyuck would’ve turned down a hallway at some point, but you knew he wanted to talk to you. “What? It’s true,” Hyuck says. “I haven’t seen Jeno or Renjun yet, so maybe it isn’t a good morning…”

“Babe,” Jaemin says, catching your attention. “I’ll see you later, okay?” he kisses your cheek.

“I’ll see you. I love you,” you reply, a soft smile plastered on your face.

“I love you too,” Jaemin walks away and you turn back to where Hyuck stands.

“So… are… we back?” he asks, quietly.

You nod. “I think we are.”

Hyuck sighs. “I’m glad you came back. And again, I’m sorry. Really,” he tells you.

“Hyuck,” you start. “It’s okay. I’m glad you told me we could come back because it made me realize… well, a lot.” you open your locker, putting your bookbag inside it before unzipping the pocket you had put the photos in. “I can’t rely on Mark for my happiness. I have to find it by myself,” you say. “I can’t spend the rest of my life mourning his death, grieving, being miserable… I have to move on. I know that’s what he would want. You know how pissed he’d be if he found out how miserable I was?” you ask, chuckling.

Hyuck smiles. “You’re right. But… it just sucks to think about all of it.” he says, scratching the back of his neck.

“I’m just glad to be back,” you admit. “I miss Mark, but… our cover would have gotten blown at some point. There’s no way we could keep living there without him getting suspicious,”

Hyuck nods. “I want to hug you so bad… but I’ll wait until I get the chance. I don’t need someone starting a rumor you’re cheating on Jaemin or something.” he teases.

You chuckle. “Good idea.”

“I’ll see you later, (y/n).” Hyuck says, starting his walk down the hallway.

You nod towards him before he’s lost in a sea of students.

You turn your attention back towards your book bag, reaching your hand into the pocket you unzipped and feeling around for the photos; It isn’t long before you find them and pull them out.

Already, the sight of them takes your breath away. You shuffle through them. Everytime you see Mark’s face, your heart breaks just a bit more. You sigh and hold the photo of Mark playing guitar close to your chest.

Leaving a universe of your happiness behind hurt more than anything. But no matter how you thought about things, it seemed like the right choice. Everything happens for a reason, right?

You still didn’t understand why your best friend had to be taken away so soon. You were thankful for the days where you learned about what could have been although it was painful.

Whether Mark remembered everything or not, you were thankful you finally felt like you got to say goodbye. Leaving after being able to tell him how much you loved him was everything you wanted. At least, for a brief moment, it felt like the loose ends had been tied.

Now, you wanted to focus on fully healing. You no longer dreaded the thought of it. You wanted to be happy.

You put the photo back in your book bag, grabbing your books for your first class and shutting your locker.

If Hyuck was correct, your memories with Mark would start to fade. The thought scared you at first, but you knew it would be better than remembering everything. All the memories you had of Mark were fading; having a few new ones for a while wouldn’t hurt.

There was no place for you in Mark’s universe. It hurt, but you knew it was true. You never thought you’d be okay without him, but even being with him for one more week changed your outlook on life. You were ready to take a hold of your life and change it for the better. Of course it was Mark who made you realize that.

Even though he was gone, he never stopped being your guiding light.

[6:59 p.m.]

“How shitty of us,” Hyuck says, sitting down on the ground. He grabs the old flowers in front of Mark’s gravestone. “It’s been so long since we were here last, the flowers are all wilted.”

“I don’t think that’s it,” you say, sitting down next to him. “It’s summertime. The sun probably sped up the process. We were here for his birthday, remember?”

Going to the cemetery after school wasn’t exactly your ideal way of spending time with Hyuck, but it was something you both did often. You both decided to grab food and head to the cemetery to speak with Mark, almost as a way to close this crazy chapter of your lives.

“You’re not gonna believe what we went through,” Hyuck laughs, putting a hand on the stone. “You’d never believe us, anyways.”

You smile. “I don’t think anyone would.”

The sun was starting to set, illuminating the gravestones. You’d never say it out loud, but you always think about Mark when things like that happen; when the sun shows it’s beauty.

Hyuck sighs. “I feel like I can’t even say I miss him. I just saw him a few days ago.” his voice trembles, tears threatening to spill out from his eyes.

You still couldn’t wrap your mind around what happened, where you were taken after sending that message.

“It’s okay.” you tell Hyuck. Your eyes were burning from incoming tears, too; There were few things you hated more than seeing your friends cry . “It’s okay to miss him…” Maybe the realization that you would never see Mark again was setting in.

“You’re right.” Hyuck says softly. He clears his throat. “I think… If we ever miss him, we should just come here and talk to him. We shouldn’t try and change our fates.” he laughs through his tears.

You laugh as well, wiping your eyes as Hyuck wraps an arm around your shoulder. “No matter what, it’ll always be the three of us.” he says.

You nod. He was right — just because Mark isn’t here doesn’t mean you have to forget his existence. He’ll always be in your heart. For the first time, in the correct universe, you feel happy. You know now that you don’t want to leave it behind.

You make a vow to never, ever mess with The Butterfly Effect ever again.

a/n:

well.... its over AAAAA

i hope u guys like the ending,,, i think ending fics is where im the most insecure, i dont wanna leave anyone feeling unsatisfied so i hope its okay! and thank you guys so much for all the love you guys have given this story, i’m so happy people are enjoying it. any amount of support means the absolute world to me so thank you guys so much! i plan to be back soon with Regularly Programmed Material. much love! <3

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personasintro · 3 years

Note

Mimi, i hope you are doing good. I don't think you have any haters, I am not supporting the rude anons but i actually tried to understand their comments as well.

I feel they don't hate you or your work so calling them haters may not be an appropriate word. I am not defending anyone but for once I tried to be in a neutral spot just to analyze the whole situation. What the anons tried to convey was not completely wrong but i guess it's just their way of conveying it was not right. Plus, i also feel this is not the same person, i am very sure they all are different people just having the same thought process. You are a very good writer, i just feel you are a lil impulsive (may be because you are a young blood), you need not address or defend every comment which ultimately affects you. Being someone who is atleast 10 years elder to you, i just want to say that 10 years later you are going to look back and laugh at yourself for being so impulsive and for actually giving a fck about all this. You are letting these comments get inside your brain. Big music artists get so much hate as well but that does not stop them from making music. You are on a big platform with 1M plus readers and everytime you have defended yourself it has actually backfired you. Try to keep calm and understand every asks, may be not everyone is actually aiming to write against you. We all are just bunch of readers waiting for an update of our fav FF, but now your readers are actually scared to even ask you about any update as it keeps bothering you, but what else are they suppose to expect from you?

Not everyone who says something negative is a hater right away. I've never said they are. I'm speaking more generally in my asks. You guys don't see all the messages in my inbox or are going through the same thing like I do, so for you most of these things could look totally different than they look to me. If someone sends you a dead threat, they are a hater. Or someone who always comes back to badmouthing you and your stories, is a hater. I can't believe some people are willing to go such a length over a story.

I don't think I'm impulsive, I think about things a lot before I speak about it publicly. I might seem to look like that to you, but I'm not. And even tho some things happening here make me sad and I do feel frustrated, as soon as I close the app and don't think about it I'm fine. I don't cry myself to sleep thinking about all of this and I'm fully convinced that if any of this will be too much for me, I'll simply just walk away. I'm not the one constantly talking about this, I always just explain myself but then it brings another wave of different kinds of responds. If something gets too much, I just ignore it but you don't see that. You all just see what I decide to publish.

I can assure you, I'm very much calm but also very honest. I'm not going to pretend I love it here when there are dozens of pressures from different sides all the time.

Like I said many times, I'm here to write and post stories. I'm no one's servant. I'm not going to sit back when people are being assholes or when there's something that's not comfortable for me on my own blog. It sounds selfish but it's true... this is my blog. Why should I shut my mouth for the sake of some people who upset me?

My words also always get twisted and I've said this before, but every time I admit something publicly people twist it. Like with the whole update thing. I said many times I don't mind readers asking about them but it also matters HOW they ask it. And if I obviously don't respond to x questions about updates, then it's because I don't want to. I also don't have a schedule, so most of the times I don't even know myself when I'm gonna update. But when someone asks me about update in an impolite way (if you scroll down, there's a perfect example of that) of course, I'm not gonna just sit here and smile. I also said I don't want readers to think that they've to be scared to tell me something just because I once talked about it, like the whole criticism thing. Just because it's criticism, doesn't mean it can't make me feel different emotions every time.

And this happens every time I'm being open and honest about something. Why do I always have to be someone who needs to change something? Why do I always have to just "ignore" things? No, if not something's right – let's talk about it. If someone doesn't like me or my work, they're free to leave. What do I have to do with anything when someone says they don't like me? And they come here on my blog to do that?

I think a lot of readers are used to world revolving around them because writers are always grateful for every each of them, and I'm so too. But guess what? World doesn't revolve around them. I'll listen to you and I'll try to have a conversation with you, but if I don't feel comfortable and know that conversation won't bring anything good and won't solve anything, I'll just walk away from it.

#ask: anon

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cumbercookiebatchs · 3 years

Note

About Marianne helping R get a gift for Enjolras.

Going out didn't take much convincing on her Papa's behalf. For all he knew, Marianne was going out with Amel-Louise, Marianne's best friend since they started maternale all those years ago.

While it was simple, Marianne shoot a quick text to her friend, explaining the plan, in case anything unplanned went down. Marianne knew her Papa trusted her, but that didn't stop him from unexpectedly calling Amel-Louise's maman to either pick her up early or make sure everything was going smoothly.

At 10 AM sharp that Saturday, Marianne was buzzing with anticipation, waiting for the doorbell to ring. She had to calm down before she met Grantaire, she still had a reputation to protect, but imagining her Papa opening the gift and being delighted, had her pretty much excited.

"Wow, eager much?" Her Papa looked up from his book, reading glasses perched on his nose. He looked good, as he always had, but he now had a distinctive glow that appeared after Grantaire came into their lives. Marianne will always be grateful to him for that.

She smirked. "You can have home for yourself. Clean. Read. Call Grantaire..."

Enjolras bit his lip and Marianne dared to say he was even blushing. "He's busy today, had to do some grading."

Marianne barked a laugh, so that's the magnificent lie her teacher came with to avoid meeting with her Papa. The action earned her a raised eyebrow.

"What's so funny, my dear?"

It was not that lying to her Papa was something easy --it wasn't-- but she also wasn't lying completely. "It's just I never thought he would turn down coming home to have sex with you."

"Marianne!"

"It's true, you're home alone, what better chances are?"

Her Papa was blushing as red as the jumper he was wearing, and huffed in annoyance. "Out."

Marianne gasped in mocked offense, "Now you want me to go? You were just complaining I wanted to leave!"

"That was before you were mean!" He pouted, and Marianne wondered if her Papa was really the adult in this scenario.

Her phone beeped with a notification, from Amel-Louise,she would take Marianne to the mall where she'd meet Grantaire to avoid suspicion. "Amel is here." She said before hugging her Papa tightly. "Love you Papa."

"Love you more, little bug." He smiled and kissed her hair. Marianne smiled and waved her Papa goodbye before she got into Amel's Maman's car.

As soon as she closed the door, Amel and her Maman asked some questions and gave some suggestions. Marianne sighed happily she and her Papa had so many people who loved them.

...

After eating lunch and visiting something like ten stores, Grantaire and Marianne parted for the first time in the afternoon. He went around some interesting stores and while browsing, something caught his eye: Marianne was eyeing a white dress with little flowers embroided all along.

"You like it?"

Marianne almost hissed. "You scared me."

Grantaire tilted his head. "I'm sorry, but you didn't answer my question."

"We're here to buy something for Papa."

He did his best to not start laughing. "So avoiding questions runs in the family, huh?"

Marianne looked at him with the same desdain Enjolras would when Grantaire said something that made him angry. He couldn't help the little upward twich his lips made, he wondered if these mannerisms were Enjolras' and Marianne took them on, or if it was the other way around.

"Go try it on."

"But-"

"Go try the dress on Marianne. Or I'll tell your Papa we're here."

He wouldn't do that, and Marianne knew but still she took the dress and tried to look annoyed, even though her eyes smiled thankfully.

She went out the fitting room some minutes after. "You look beautiful." Grantaire smiled, and Marianne blushed slightly.

"Thanks, but I think I'll need this is a bigger size." She motioned at how tightly it fit her, and the skirt was way too short.

"Sure," Grantaire called at one of the girls who worked at the store. "Can we get that dress in a bigger size?

Marianne went back into the fitting room and emerged with her jeans and shirt, the dress im her hands. "You don't need to do this."

"I know," Grantaire hugged her. "but I want to."

The retail worker came back with the dress and smiled at the scene. "Can I say you guys are the cutest father and daughter I've seen."

Grantaire answered by hugging Marianne tighter until she laughed. "Thanks" he said, but if it was for the dress or the compliment, he never said.

...

It was close to six now, and Grantaire decided to treat Marianne for one last thing. They were putting in the car the bags and boxes --of which one had Grantaire's gift for Enjolras, one Marianne's dress, other Marianne's gift for her father, and a smaller box with a more private gift Grantaire would give to his lover; Marianne eyed him weird, but didn't say anything about it-- and as they made their way towards Amel's house, Grantaire made a detour.

"You're not expected home until late, right?"

"Right." Marianne looked up from her phone. "Why?"

"I want to take you to a place."

More silence.

"The lady at the store. She thought you were my dad. Why didn't you correct her?" Marianne said when they stopped at a red light.

"Didn't seem important." Grantaire answered. "Why didn't you correct her?"

Marianne smiled. "I didn't mind being called your daughter."

Grantaire cried a little after he got home, but at the moment, he smiled too.

Even it was raining, they got rather quickly to the Musain, and Grantaire smile grew wider and they approached and he spotted some familiar faces.

He parked the car, and rushed to help Marianne out of the car, then ran together until they reached the Café's door.

Inside, sitting in a table near a window, a man loudly greeted Grantaire.

"And who's the lady?" Asked the man, he was bald and had an big smile.

"I'm Marianne."

She heard someone gasp behind her. Whem she turned around, another man, but with a cane, and a woman with curly hair where there.

"You are Marianne?" He asked.

"Yes." Marianne said, confused.

The woman laughed. "Oh dear, by the way R talks about you I was expecting a baby! Not this lady!"

Marianne blushed, "thanks."

They all sat in the table near the window, and talked. Musichetta told her about how Grantaire doesn't shut up when talking about her or her Papa, and Joly and Bossuet asked her questions about school and what are her plans for the future.

Soon, a waiter came with some milkshakes Musichetta ordered before Grantaire and Marianne arrived.

"Oh my God," she gasped as she took another sip from her milkshake. "Oh my sweet God! You need to bring Papa here."

Grantaire chuckled. "Yeah?"

Marianne nodded as she drank. "He loves candy, sweets, everything. And vanilla milkshakes, with lots of sprinkles."

"Rookie mistake," Joly mentioned.

"What?"

"Now that you mentioned that, everytime someone's drinking a vanilla milkshake Grantaire will sigh with longing because 'that's Enjolras favorite milkshake'"

"Not true." Grantaire tried to salvage his pride, but everyone was already laughing.

"Do you need me to remind you the time that–"

"Oh when we went to the beach and you–"

"Or when you stalked his instagram a week ago–"

"I get it!" Grantaire snaps. "Jesus."

And then everyone started laughing again.

...

"Papa?" Marianne called, closing the front door.

"I'm here," he answered, Marianne walked down the hall and got into her Papa's room. He was sitting cross legged in the bed, reading glasses still on, but he was now in pj's. He looked up from his book and opened his arms. "Come here."

Marianne obliged, kicking out her shoes and climbing on the bed to hug her Papa. She nuzzled in his chest and closed her eyes. He too sighed happily, and kissed her hair. But then he kissed again, and tensed. He sat back and buried his nose on the crook of his daughter's neck, to smell her blouse.

"Papa! You're smelling me?"

"Where were you today, Marianne?" He looked his daughter in the eye.

"At the mall, with Amel."

Enjolras frowned. "You smell weird."

"We tried on different perfumes, some cologne too."

That seemed to call him down, and Marianne smiled tightly. "I'll go leave my things in my room, wanna watch a movie after?"

Her Papa nodded, and Marianne stepped in the shower. When she got out, ready to pick out some cheesy rom com her Papa seemed to love, she went into his room.

He was asleep.

Taking his book and glasses aside, Marianne took the blanket, and covered him.

"Goodnight Papa." She whispered and kissed his forehead.

Yet before turning off the lights, she took her phone and opened the messages app.

Hey

I bet he's dreaming about you :P

Marianne snapped a picture of her sleeping father and hit send, and went to bed.

Grantaire checked the messages, and bit his lip. Sure, he was in love in Enjolras, but he also loved Marianne more each passing day.

(Bonus points if you guess what Enjolras gift is)

Oh this is so sweet! So sweet!!!!!!

But I don't know what Enjolras's present is 🙈🙈🙈🙈

PLEASE TELL ME 🥺🥺🥺

Marianne and Grantaire are SO CUTE together

#I'm AAAH #LOVE THIS #thank you this is so sweet #I love #Enjoltaire #Enjoltaire fic #♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

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damnzawa · 4 years

Note

hii can i request a kageyama love alarm au pls? hope u have a lovely day 🥺🤍

MILK CONFESSIONS — K. TOBIO

Note(s): Mayhaps I love this AU with Kageyama,, mayhaps I might also do one for Kenma/Kuroo haha,, also mayhaps I might post an Aizawa smut tomorrow 👀👀 ANYWAYS,, I LOVE THIS REQUEST AAAA i love kageyama tobio,, i love haikyuu,, i love them ALL! So feel free to request anything! My AU FEST! is till open too! So request your heart out!

Warning(s): Jealous Kageyama mwehehe, Yachi x Hinata (because I do whatever the fuck I want and I say in this AU they're meant to be ok?)

—

"Oi, Kageyama." A noisy crow interrupted Kageyama's inner debate on what to get from the vending machine. There on his left, stood in his short, tangerine glory, Hinata Shoyo. Hinata seemed eager to tell Kageyama something, and it appeared fishy to the blueberry.

"What?" He asked in his usual grumpy tone. Hinata pulled out his phone and started waving it at him.

"Look! Look! Someone loves me!" What does he mean by that? Does his parents not love him or something? "I downloaded this app called 'Love Alarm'! Everyone's using it so I thought might as well try right? Anyways, it syncs with your heart and tells the person you like that you like them if you're in a 10 mile radius! It also tells you if someone likes you! It doesn't tell you the name though so it might confuse your dumb brain!" Out of all the bullshit that came out of Hinata's mouth, the last one annoyed Kageyama the most.

"Oi, who are you calling dumb?" His menacing aura could almost kill Hinata. Almost. Hinata's used to it by now.

"You!" Hinata let out an 'ow!' as Kageyama hit his tangerine head. "A-Anyways, you should try it too! I was walking down the hallway earlier and my alarm rang off! Someone loves me! In this school!"

"I don't wanna. It's a waste of time." Kageyama replied before pressing the milk button. "And that app's a fake, dumbass. Don't believe in them. It's a scam."

"Psh. You're just saying that because no one probably loves you." That made Kageyama's eye twitch. Hinata smiled in triumph as he saw the boy's expression change.

Kageyama, who had a determined look on his face, grabbed his milk and faced Hinata who had a smug smile plastered on his face.

"I'll download the app. Let's see if you're right about that, dumbass." And with that Kageyama left a smiling Hinata alone on the corridor. Grabbing his phone, he made a reminder to download it when he got home.

He'll prove that dumbass wrong. He'll make Hinata pay hell later. And he'll also see if this app's a scam or not.

—

"This is stupid." You groaned as you turned on the 'Love Alarm' app on your phone. "Why do I believe in this app anyways? It's probably a scam or something." Clearly, an app wouldn't know who you're in love with right? It's just absurd. Who could possibly make such an app?

But... it wouldn't hurt to try right?

Spotting a certain blueberry just around the corner, you took a deep breath. Thump. Thump. Thump. There goes your heart again, beating as fast as it could whenever you see the volleyball maniac. You never really know why you liked him in the first place. You two weren't close nor you were strangers to each other. You two were friends—if Kageyama even considers you that—but not like Hinata-Kageyama level. It was more like on a 'I-tolerate-you' level. You don't know everything about each other but still know enough things that are personal. You both have the same interests too, it being playing volleyball. Though you weren't in his class—you actually are smarter than him—you still talked when you can. Though, conversations with him mostly happens by the vending machine while he ponders on what to get.

Something about him just attracted you. Maybe it was his looks? Or maybe it was because of his passion? Either way, you liked Kageyama. You liked him a lot. A lot, a lot.

There was only one problem.

You don't know how to confess.

You know you were probably gonna be rejected. All Kageyama thinks about is volleyball after all. His head is a volleyball. So having romantic feelings for anyone or anything except the sport? Impossible. It's unlikely to never happen at all. You're pretty sure he'll marry the sport. So confessing? Hah. No way.

That was before Love Alarm anyway.

You figured Kageyama would have one. So, you thought of a plan to confess without him actually knowing that it's you.

Slowly approaching him, you gulped nervously. You saw Hinata approaching as well. Great, ok. If his Love Alarm rings, he'll probably think it's Hinata or something. Good.

You kept on walking, and walking, and walking. Until you heard an alarm ring. Kageyama's eyes widened as his eyes darted around until it landed on you. Your eyes widened then you fled the scene. Flustered and beet red.

Welp, there goes your friendship with him down the drain.

"Woah! My Love Alarm rang!" Hinata exclaimed happily as his eyes searched for the one who had feelings for him. "Ah! Who could it be?! I still haven't figured it out yet!" Kageyama released an annoyed sound at that. He couldn't believe it. You? You liked the dumbass? Surely you can do better than that.

Kageyama paused. Well that explains everything then.

The way you 'sneakily' glance at Hinata whenever him and that tangerine practice, or the way you act differently around him as well. Kageyama hated the fact that you seemed a lot calmer when you're with Hinata, you radiated a different aura too. But with him, you seemed nervous, always stuttering and being polite.

He glared at Hinata, who was currently daydreaming about the one who rang his Love Alarm, then stomped off.

He certainly wasn't setting to that tangerine dumbass today.

Meanwhile you were panicking behind the bushes as you watched Kageyama get angry from afar. Oh shit. He certainly didn't like that. Judging from his expression, he seemed repulsed by it. Cringing a little, you sighed and walked away.

Avoiding him it is then.

—

The past few days, you stayed dejected and it showed. Yachi worried about you and went into mother hen mode everytime she was near you. Though you appreciated the gesture, it didn't lift your spirits at all. Your mind kept recalling the disgusted look on Kageyama's face and the hatred within his eyes. You sighed and banged your head on your desk. Idiot. You're an idiot. A complete idiot. A greater idiot than Hinata.

You avoided Kageyama completely. You made sure you never crossed paths with him. You stopped buying milk from the vending machine too, opting to buy some at the Sakonoshita store on your way to school. You also took another route to get to the gym the girl's volleyball team uses. All of those in hopes that Kageyama wouldn't find you.

"Yachi-san. I'm sorry but I'm not in the mood to go over some notes today. Please leave me alone for a while." You said once you felt a presence infront of you. You were alone in the classroom until said presence came over. Silence came after. Yachi didn't say a word as you burried your head further in your desk—if that was even possible. You were about to tell her off when suddenly two Love Alarms rang, catching the attention of some passerbys.

Your head shot up once you realized what happened. Your Love Alarm rang. Who could it possibly—?

There they were. Looking as shocked as you are. Infront of you sat Kageyama, who had just turned his Love Alarm on. Neither of you said a word for a while and just looked at each other. Holy shit. Kageyama... Kageyama likes you too? How could he? Doesn't he hate you? How? What the fuck?

"I was right..." Kageyama stated making you confused. Right about what? You liking him? "This app truly is a scam." And with that Kageyama took off, leaving you in the room.

A scam?

Doesn't that mean...?

Oh.

He doesn't like you.

You knew it. You knew it, and yet you hoped he would reciprocate your feelings. What a dumbass you were. Giving yourself false hope. Looking for a sign that he might like you back.

What a fucking dumbass.

What a fucking dumbass, Kageyama was. Surely this app is fake, right?

No, it wasn't.

The app was right.

He had feelings for you.

Do you have feelings for him? If you didn't, his Love Alarm wouldn't ring, right? Besides, you two were the only ones in the classroom. So it couldn't be someone else. But surely you don't like him and Hinata right?

Right?

Kageyama groaned. Feelings are hard to deal with and this Love Alarm just made it harder.

"Oi! Kageyama!" Speaking of the tangerine devil, Hinata appeared with Yachi in tow. "I know who rang my Love Alarm now! It was Yachi-san!"

What?

It was Yachi?

Not you?

Oh, he was certainly gonna confess to you later.

—

"Y/n." A blueberry volleyball maniac blocked your way while you were heading to the volleyball gym. You looked down, not meeting his eyes. After what happened earlier, you didn't want to see Kageyama ever again. You feared that Kageyama would chew you out and slap your so called friendship on your face. You feared that he'll wash everything you shared down the drain. You feared whatever his response may be. You dreaded this. You didn't want to interact with him yet but it seemed that the universe had some other plans with you and Kageyama.

"Here." A milk carton appeared in your sight. Upon closer inspection, you saw Kageyama's messy writing on it. "Take it."

"Is this some kind of a 'sorry-but-I'm-rejecting-you' gift? Because if it is, then I don't want it Kageyama. I don't want your pity."

"It's not." Kageyama replied before shoving the milk carton in your hands. "Just read it."

Sighing in defeat, you read the words Kageyama wrote on the carton.

'Thank you for ringing my Love Alarm.'

"What's this? Why are you thanking me?" You voiced out your thoughts. "Aren't you mad? You seemed mad when I rang your Love Alarm near the gym last week."

"I was mad." Kageyama answered your question making your shoulders slump. Upon seeing your dejected state, Kageyama frowned. He hated seeing you like this. He just wanted you to smile shyly at him again. Or invite him to the vending machine and waste lunch time chatting away about some random topic. He just wanted things to be back to normal. Maybe he even wants to date you. "But it wasn't because you rang my Love Alarm."

Before you can even ask him about it, he continued speaking. "I was mad because I thought you rang Hinata's Love Alarm." Your eyes widened at that. It was Hinata's Love Alarm that rang that time? It wasn't his? How could that possibly be? It was Kageyama you liked, not Hinata. "Turns out, Yachi-san's the one who rang his alarm. She was behind him that time. They confessed earlier." Oh. So, that's why Yachi left in a rush.

"Why didn't your Love Alarm rang that time then? Didn't you have it turned on?"

"I still haven't downloaded the app. I didn't believe in it. But now that I know it's not a scam, don't avoid me anymore. Come back and drag me to the vending machine every lunch." Your heart thumped once again. "Let's even get meat buns from Coach after practice." Does this mean what you think it does?

"Are...Are you asking me out or...?"

"Of course I am, dumbass. Is that a yes?"

"It sure is."

#kageyama tobio x reader #kageyama x reader #haikyuu!! reader insert #haikyuu!!#hinata shoyo #kageyama tobio #yachi hitoka #LOVE ALARM AU!#kageyama/reader #kageyama tobio/reader #reader insert #hinata x reader #he needs sum milk #JK #i love my hq peeps

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uwua3 · 4 years

Note

Hi Bunnie! Your Misumi jealousy headcanon was so so amazing! Would it be okay to request the same hc but for Kazu, Tenma + Taichi? Ty and can't wait to see more from you! 🐰

oh my gosh! thank you so much!!! that makes me so happy to hear you enjoyed it; tbh i was a bit nervous due to the different take on misumi’s more thoughtful, erratic side so i’m glad it wasn’t too ooc! for you, i’d love to do a jealous hc for kazunari, tenma, and taichi! let’s GOOO !!!

summary: everyone gets their heart broken, and you were the cause of their broken hearts

warnings: anxiety, cheating, fake/toxic relationships, heartbreak, unrequited love

author’s note: i hope you enjoy it! thank you so much for your support ♡ this is definitely on the longer side for sure, i hope it’s worth the read!!!

i explored different types of jealousy for each person and how it would affect their daily lives! sometimes, the best thing to do is not act on your impulses. is it really worth losing a relationship with someone over? arguably, the only person with a “happy ending” would be taichi~ fair warning!

word count: 4,799 (total) — 2,078 (kazunari), 1,616 (tenma), 1,105 (taichi)

music: ghost heart – closure (kazunari), shouldn’t couldn’t wouldn’t – niki, rich brian (tenma), needs – verzache (taichi)

jealousy (pt.1)

🌻🎨 miyoshi kazunari

it was so hard to always thrive off the attention of others when it was exhausting keeping a smile up

sure, kazunari was a burden when he was excited with his nonstop, loud rant about whatever he learned in his liberal arts university... but people seemed to like him even less when he was quiet and contemplative. he was the butt of the joke, so he had to fake it until he made it

he’d rather be the funny jokester of the group and be remembered as the tolerated clown than forgotten completely

kazunari wanted people to come to him, be his friend, and find him important in their life. kazunari wanted to be everyone’s favorite, the #1, the name you’d say when asked who your best friend was

but no one liked him like that. no one looked to him first when a joke was made to check if he was laughing, everyone assumed he was. but it was so much energy to keep this happy go lucky act and it began taking away from his art

envy made up every cell of his being as he saw groups of supportive friends, students congratulated in front of the class, and just happiness in general. kazunari was always jealous, he wanted so much. he wanted someone to be his best friend

and then, you aced the role with no auditions needed. you made the cut, you entered his life as kazunari’s best friend

you made an effort to include him in group activities, responded to his over–the–top DMs with too many emojis, and even amused him with his spontaneous ideas like road trips to the next town over for the hell of it

it didn’t matter if he called you at the crack of dawn, you picked up before the last ring with just as much enthusiasm to go wherever to make lifelong memories

kazunari didn’t have to pretend like he was full of energy around you, because he was! you charged him up to his full battery and he wouldn’t stop moving until he had you to himself for a few hours

at first, it started out by staying a little bit longer after group project meetings, offering to get absolutely buzzed on overpriced hipster coffee he had to perfect as a barista, and exchanging obvious notes in class while getting in trouble for snickering way too loud

then it became seeing premieres of movies kazunari honestly didn’t care about, he just wanted to do the yawn trick without getting made fun of. he liked dramatically fighting over the popcorn with you before pretending to give up, knowing damn well at the end he’d let you have all his snacks. movies became any event possible: single mixers that were just them huddling in a corner planning to make the most memorable exit ever, mall trips that had inappropiate fashion shows in the dressing rooms before getting kicked out, even beach visits year–round and complaining when the temperatures were too extreme but still having the sickest bonfire

all these moments were posted on his private, more personal instagram where his feed would have your face in every row (he also posted the extremely candid shots of you, he was sneaky with his camerawork). everyone with a social media account knew you guys were platonic soulmates, people destined to meet each other and be by their side for every lifetime

it moved into territory like bringing you to his favorite secret hideouts. eventually, it came down to places he knew his other friends would trash and poke fun at. he began trusting you with his most prized places. his safe space that became yours as well

even his art studio rented out at the border of the urban city with a water–damaged wooden floor. you would drop by everytime he didn’t respond to your text within 10 minutes, with plenty of food because you knew kazunari gets into an obsessive state with completing a project in one sitting. he let you in without a second thought even though you had the spare key; now you were lounging upon a thrifted sofa staring at the sunset

golden hour was gorgeous on you, kazunari thought out of no where, shocking him to the core when he nearly dropped his paintbrush onto the plastic covers. get a hold of yourself man! whatever, he always hyped you up, it wasn’t a big deal. it was just usually, intentional

you didn’t seem to notice, scrolling through your phone as your shadow giggled at something on screen. kazunari felt sick (and it wasn’t the cheap takeout), he hated not being in on the joke and getting left out. jealousy brewed at the pit of his stomach as he faked a childish huff to get your attention. you didn’t look over, too busy sending a meme to someone

“whatchu laughing at?” kazunari asked curiously as he resumed painting, to which you fidgeted under his gaze. shrugging nonchalantly, you pocketed your phone that pinged with a notification. the vibration caused you to read the screen immediately without a second thought. huh...

“just some guy.” you offhandedly mentioned, opening some dating app kazunari could pinpoint. he didn’t know you even liked those types of meet–ups, he dropped his brush this time before fumbling to pick it up as cool as possible

pretending to pay attention to the painting, he lost focus as he glanced at your frame. you looked so relaxed, so casual, who were you so close to? you always told him about the few partners you had, this one threw him for a loop

“guy? don’t tell me my best friend is falling in love~!” kazunari quipped, feigning a pose of shock like it was the worst thing he’s ever heard. honestly, maybe it was, or he was a damn good actor and those hours of practice were working. maybe they were if his best friend couldn’t even see past his facade

you blushed at the implication, but didn’t deny it. you just muttered something about having privacy and rolling over to your side, continuing to text at an inhuman speed

kazunari frowned slightly, drawing his eyebrows together as he couldn’t help but steal glances at your backside. usually he got a joke, a confirmation he was basically your boyfriend, and they both hysterically laughed about it at the end of the day. not this time, apparently

this time, it was different. next time he saw you wasn’t sitting next to him in class, or beneath his arm hiding from the scary film on the projector, it was at the café you frequented to see him. except, you were with someone else. kazunari hadn’t seen you in so long, ever since you were caught messaging someone else

you ordered the same thing as always, you didn’t even have to ask before kazunari had it ready for you. but his whole personality was jittery, like he accidentally ate the entire stock of cacao beans raw. he stammered and his tone fell flat, contrasting his lively speech and flair for drama. he looked... overwhelmed

kazunari spilt your date’s drink last second, his chaotic mind barely controlling his limbs as he knocked over the order. as you tried helping him, every customer saw kazunari hide back in the shell he tried so hard to break. he simply shook his head and delivered his customer service monologue about being very sorry and the next one was on the house

there was at least in attempt in sounding cheerful, but coach would’ve definitely cursed him out for his terrible performance. he knew he was showing too much teeth right now and his eyes were too big to be genuine, but he couldn’t do anything else without his foot tapping repetitively

when you shot him concerned side–eyes from their usual table by the window, you looked different in the orange–hued sky. you were gorgeous in golden hour, kazunari bitterly thought as he wiped down the surfaces until he could see his teary eyes staring back with disgust. he was letting his guard down in front of everyone, how lame

he could hear your walls coming down, you becoming attached to the hip with that date of yours as you two became the only customers left. he heard it all, the flirting, the conversations that would definitely lead to you going back to their place with them. he excused himself to his indifferent manager before hiding in the employee stall, sliding his back down against the wall to sit down on the cold tile floor

kazunari found dates boring. all they led to was him getting his unfinished meal in styrofoam boxes and taking an uber to your place to spill what happened like it was a daily struggle. you laughed and laughed, never having stories of your own since kazunari lived through a lifetime of them for the tall tales

kazunari wanted to go back to that, when both of you were single and laughing together about how absolutely dumb committed relationships were. who else would they need besides each other? kazunari remembered asking, knowing all they could trust in was each other forever

but more importantly, maybe kazunari wanted to be more than your best friend. you were the one who cured his constant artist’s blocks with just words of affirmation, the heartfelt gestures making his serotonin levels skyrocket to oblivion before maxing out on the motivation to create anything that would make your efforts worth it

kazunari thought he just did his best with his friends by his side. but, was it normal for friends to feel like this? kazunari began imagining a painting of a figure, of someone that looked like you, except they were so far away and out of his reach. he wanted to jump through the frame and find you, manifest you for him only

no matter what he did, he couldn’t get the face to resemble anything like yours, like you weren’t his to claim creative rights over anymore

kazunari was jealous. jealous of how easily passerbys fell in love with the way you made anyone feel like they were the main character of their own story. kazunari felt stupid, like he was your comic relief sidekick who so desperately would do anything to be your final love interest

alone, kazunari laughed pitifully to himself as he picked his head up to hear your voice through the thin walls. whatever elaborate joke you were playing on him, it wasn’t funny in the slightest

he only wanted you to laugh with him, hell, he’d go make a fool of himself at any time even if meant you laughed at him

you weren’t one of his artworks, yet you were a masterpiece compared to any canvas he could have made in his entire career

kazunari wanted to paint you in all the colors possible, make you see how you were the rainbow after his rainy life

pushing himself up, kazunari stumbled out of the bathroom before shaking his head. it wasn’t worth it, he got what he wanted, didn’t he? you’re still his best friend, you just loved someone else, that’s all. all he ever wanted was a best friend, why wasn’t he satisfied with that?

when would he stop being jealous? (when would he be your #1 boy? he thought against his will)

taking a deep breath to compose himself, kazunari smiled and waved at the new couple. he saw the relief on your face before you resumed the discussion with the most animated expression he hadn’t seen in a long time. he couldn’t even recall when

everything would go back to normal before you became kazunari’s best friend. you would begin hanging out with the other person more, taking them to all kazunari’s best events. you would eventually stop answering his calls because it interfered with the other person’s schedule. you’d have plans outside of him, and kazunari would go back to being by himself. he’d keep going on dates and stay till the end this time, searching for his #1

(he would have to mute your account after seeing your posts with them, but he never told you that)

kazunari heard something other than you. he looked towards the window: it was raining again, again, and again. he opened his smartphone to take a picture:

kaz–PIKO [new post!]: i hope this rain ends soon!!!

it didn’t, at least, not for a very long time

🌻☀️ sumeragi tenma

tenma was what you would call, gifted. grew up with successful, charistmatic parents who watched his every move like a hawk, never giving him the time to improve from his mistakes

so every time he didn’t immediately get something, he’d give up and find other things to beat others at

the only thing he did that was acceptable to his father was acting, so he never looked back

tenma became a headliner of countless blockbuster movies and walked the red carpet as a fabricated actor with no authenticity

magazines labelled tenma as the playboy with on & off again relationships, although they were staged by his label to make him appear like some heartbreaker

truth was, he’s just like every other high school student who was really bad at focusing on academics (and had definitely not been in a real relationship)

but tenma was famous, fake friends came and went every time his popularity rose, hitting him up for favors. it was okay, he was famous, anyways. it’s not like he needed a bunch of no–bodies

at least, that’s what he told himself every time he sat with his parents at awards banquets with no one to share his success

(tenma was not jealous at all of stars with full rows of people of their friends who were always so loud and supportive)

(it wasn’t awkward going up on stage to receive a trophy with only polite clapping in the background)

you got cast as tenma’s next love interest

you were supposed to be a fake relationship that lasted longer than every other person he’s been with before

you were an up and coming actress full of potential and enthusiasm to boot, ready to take on in the industry like you were the biggest threat around

but it was clear, you loved acting

you loved playing different characters like they were an extension of yourself, paying close attention to other people’s habits so you could incorporate it in your own persona

it was strange—meeting someone who loved acting at its core and didn’t do it for the money. most people wanted their name in lights, drama with them in the middle, to have an adoring fanbase. who actually liked acting as an art form?

tenma was sure you were just hiding something, lying about your sweetheart public image to gain fans

you and tenma became public by having a public brunch date (tenma hated brunch, it was so pointless!) where photographers hid in bushes to take expensive pictures of tenma’s newest girl

tenma at first put on a facade, pretending to be the cocky star everyone made him out to be by flexing his muscles with a charming but practiced wink. why not, right? every girl loved that!

all of a sudden, you were gripping the tablecloth, dying laughing as you tried your best to stifle your outrageous response. tenma grew hot under the collar when it was clear you were very much a real, hard to hide your feelings type person off screen

immediately, he told you off in an aggressive manner but before he could apologize for being so suddenly boyish, you retorted back just as quickly. the friendly banter between you two sent sparks flying from the electric energy

those staged acts didn’t have any effect on you (unless he was in the mood for some serious jokes which he gladly fought back) so a genuine friendship formed

due to you both being competitive at heart, you guys were always caught in a friendly rivalry where you two shared real bonding moments together

your chemistry was off the charts (your managers were both very pleased with the outcome, oblivious to tenma’s defensive no ways!)

tenma’s favorite memory was ditching a panel interview without his parent’s permission to go blow his money on a popular chain arcade im the mall he could most definitely afford with his credit card. it was impulse but he texted you the address and miracously, you showed up on your own

both of you wore the worst disguises possible: snapbacks and funky graphic tee shirts as if you two were just regular students. tenma tried everything that even caught his eye, and you knew he wasn’t entirely happy with anything he got despite winning ten games already

clearly he wasn’t getting distracted enough, something must have happened on set

so you made a bet, whoever won the basketball hoops game would take all the tickets. you knew this would ignite the competitive flame within tenma

“you’re on!” tenma declared, shaking your hand with a firm grip and wolfish grin. that would be one of the last times tenma saw you as “one of the boys”

it was when you finally won against his bruised ego but chose a prize for him that tenma realized, he liked you for you. normally, he’d be showering his fake partner with stuffed animals before being ditched on the street corner, the plastered smiles gone and replaced with nasty annoyance

(he’d never admit it, but even the fake affection was nice while it lasted)

no one really liked him for him, he was just another famous teen actor with passable looks to be the side boyfriend

yet, you still got him something despite winning, giving him the plant and ignoring his surprised face

it wasn’t expensive, but it was the most meaningful gift he’s ever received

it was the first time tenma was given a present like that: a tiny bonsai tree

“maybe that’ll teach you some responsibility!” you joked, pushing him teasingly as he just stared at the little tree, feeling like something inside grew as well

he ignored it by challenging you to a DDR tournament (you won, again)

tenma began seeing the bonsai as a symbol of your friendship with him, and it felt good to finally have someone who would go out of their way to be his friend

(as a result, the bonsai was as healthy as ever)

but maybe, his macho–man act turned you off the wrong way and made him seem like a spoiled rich kid. you never could open up seriously about problems you had without laughing at tenma’s serious face, always messing up his bright orange hair and calling him a loser

tenma was tired of being a kid in your eyes, he wanted to be your manly boyfriend that wasn’t just a legacy actor

he was jealous every time you talked about your actual friends from home, who you shared everything with and made them out like they were the best people on the planet

it was silly, but did you think about him like that? did your friends even know you were with him?

tenma, for the first time, wanted a relationship that was more than just a publicity stunt. he wanted to be your boyfriend, more than just the faker

he wanted to meet your friends, then your family, and learn more about who you actually were. know what you were made up of, past the glamarous movie lifestyle he knew too well

tenma wanted to stop lying to the media because you deserved the truth

tenma wanted to recite his script about love but mean it, pretending like he was staring into your eyes and delivering the best performance of his life (if you ignore the fact he almost said your name)

but every time you guys went out, you acted like you were a babysitter and tenma was a child. you never could see him as a potential partner, just a rival who reacted like a brother would

but you read his behavior all wrong

(though honestly, tenma took every opportunity possible to have you close, because he knew you’d never be his again)

by the time the contract was up, tenma was too late. you were ruffling his hair and smiling like a sibling would, commenting on how fun it was to be with him and he could call you up anytime for tutoring. to you, he was just some high schooler who needed you to study with

but to tenma, he had caught feelings and there was nothing he could do about it

tenma would soon see the tragic news titles of how japan’s favorite it–couple split and you moved onto someone else

(someone much more serious and cool than he was, unfortunately)

tenma began booking roles in much more different films, ones with much more somber tones and melancholy scenes that fit his jealousy perfectly (he was often reviewed as having a “real connection” to his character, like he lived through the pain)

tenma noticed the way you were around the same age as your idol partner, how you actually held his hand while blushing for once. you even kissed them and hugged them in front of the cameras, which you refused to do with tenma, saying it would be weird to kiss a kid

tenma was jealous. jealous how he wasn’t as grown up as you wanted him to be. how he wasn’t mature and had a fiery temper and didn’t think things through. but his next partner was assigned and he had an outing with them soon

as soon as tenma met up with them, he flashed a picture perfect smile and heard the cameras flash behind him. they seemed to like that

his new partner didn’t question a thing as tenma addressed them by your name without noticing

that day, tenma came home to his bonsai dying, despite watering it properly

tenma gave up on you, despite the jealousy. if he wasn’t good at this dating game, there was no need to try anymore

he didn’t return back to that arcade for a while

🍁🛹 nanao taichi

the moment taichi saw you, he was convinced you were the one like every hopeless romantic out there

he was literally blown away. the wind picked up stronger when he saw you and he swore he saw red hearts around you

pretending to skateboard like he was just passing by, he bumped into you on veludo way and pretended like he had no idea where he was going

“sorry! i’m a bit lost... could you help me?” taichi paired it with his puppy eyes and tragic pout, unaware he was a bunny face to face with a wolf in sheep’s clothing

but you recognized him, the famous actor from mankai’s autumn troupe

yet, you pretended to follow his plan, knowing how quickly mankai was regaining its popularity status in theatre

(hey, maybe you’d even get free stuff if you played your cards right)

then began your relationship with taichi, where he was head over skates for you and did everything in his power to make you stay

taichi rearranged his schedule for you, staying up countless hours into the next day just to text you and have every possible moment with you

taichi always reserved you front row seats for every mankai production, sometimes even bringing you backstages despite the warnings from his other members

(they never really liked you, especially not the way you had so much control over taichi)

“taichi... you look tired. are you okay?” omi asked one day, when taichi had been on his phone the entire meal and anxiously fidgeted for a reply

(you sometimes did that just to mess with him a little, by leaving his multiple messages on read) (he hated it)

“me? i’m doing the best i could be!” taichi exclaimed, sneaking a glance at his screen to still see it dark

when omi carefully nodded and turned around, taichi’s posture slouched and the insomnia he was developing just to talk began catching up to his performance

taichi did everything a perfect boyfriend did in plays: wrote you love letters (you never read them), created thoughtful playlists that flowed well (you never listened), even learning new fun talents just to impress you (you never paid attention)

it was never enough to make you see him as more than a key to the theatre industry

to you, taichi was nothing more than a loyal puppy on a leash

taichi didn’t realize how tight his collar was until he was confronted by his troupe members, all who were as serious as it got with them

“what’s up?” taichi offered, faking a grin and suppressing the yawn building in his throat. the bags under his eyes were dark, and his blue eyes were dull. he hadn’t slept in so long. he was low on money for buying too many things. he couldn’t remember the last time he finished a meal

omi exchanged looks with the others, knowing he had to be the one to deliver the news because well, maybe he’d soften the blow a bit better

it must be bad if even juza and banri are not fighting, taichi mused, not really listening until he heard:

“—they’re cheating on you, taichi.”

taichi’s head snapped up, his body becoming rigid from the accusation. his sight landed on a digital image on banri’s phone screen, where you were clearly all over another person

(taichi remebered them, they were your lockscreen. he never questioned it)

(even if he was always jealous of how you hung out with every other friend much more than him, you own boyfriend!)

there was nothing to justify. banri explained how he and juza came upon them at the mall, and he was sorry

(it wasn’t banri’s fault, but he apologized because he was genuinely sorry for all taichi went through)

it’s not like he could say anything, the photo was clear as day! but taichi’s fists were tight by his side and he stood up defiantly

“that’s not true! maybe, that’s just their friend! or family member! i trust them, stop making baseless claims against them!” taichi knew he was making a scene, but it gave him a window to storm out of the front door and run down the sidewalk

“taichi!” he heard, but no one dared followed him. maybe he needed to face it by himself and open his eyes

they’d be back waiting for him at the end of the day when he finally realized he didn’t deserve to be in a toxic situation like this

(taichi did so much to become even better, just so you would like him more... it never worked)

taichi stopped at the park, panting deeply and leaning forward to catch his breath

this couldn’t be possible! he was the perfect boyfriend, right? he did everything for you... what wasn’t enough? when would he be enough?

but the proof was right there. taichi could see you with the same person in the image right in front of him

that’s when it hit. you knew taichi had acting practice right now, he wouldn’t know any better

all the pent–up anger within him exploded, his desperation masking a much more weak, unstable truth: fear of abandonment and the unrequited jealousy of the other person, no matter how much he hated to admit it

taichi was jealous. jealous of how you liked everyone else so much better than him, taichi wanted to be better, for you

but you were gonna leave him, toss him aside like your time together was nothing, like he was nothing

you never loved him, you liked the attention

taichi finally saw the signs, the red flags you were manipulative and knew he was easy enough to twist and break. he opened his eyes and you hadn’t even noticed him

but then, he tried to tell himself maybe he actually liked that, but it sounded hollow and fake even to him

taichi had to say no now

taichi was hurt, but he couldn’t show that to you anymore. you didn’t deserve the privilege having a say in his feelings anymore

walking by and pretending to bump into you, your face didn’t change as you saw him, simply raising an eyebrow in question

“just leave me for somebody else,” taichi humorlessly laughed, staring at the way you felt nothing for him

you stepped onto his heart and broke it, there was nothing else to say. even then, he wish he was the person you loved, even if it killed him

“enjoy yourself.” taichi finished, knowing these would be the last words he would ever say to you before returning back to the dorms

he didn’t look back, not anymore

197 notes · View notes

danicarosaline · 4 years

Text

Just My Type | JJ Maybank x Kook!Reader | Ch. 3

Authors Note: This series will not be following the show!! Only a few things will be slightly different so bare with me please! 🥰✨

“What time did you come home last night?” Jolting up to the sound of your mother’s voice from where you laid comfortably in bed. Rubbing your tired eyes with your hands and yawning in the process.

“Uh.. dunno?” You replied groggily. You didn’t drink much so you weren’t exactly hungover, just completely exhausted. You blinked a few times trying to adjust to the new lighting of the room that you swore was once very dark just mere hours ago. Tiny specks of dust seemed to dance around in the shaft of afternoon sunlight that slanted through the windows of your room. Making you groan for forgetting to close the damn curtains.

You squint at your mother, eyes still not fully adjusting to the bright room and see her standing by your door with her arms crossed and eyebrows raised at your response. She sighs with a roll of her eyes, something she seems to be doing alot with you which you actually find quite funny.

“Well get dressed we’re going out to lunch” blowing you a little kiss as she walks out and leaving your door slightly open. Does anybody not know how to shut doors nowadays? Are you kidding me? With the click of your tongue, you bounce up from bed and walk lazily towards your door to shut it. Mumbling things under your breath with annoyance.

“The name’s JJ Maybank princess, its a pleasure to make your acquaintance” Oh how corny of him.

Suddenly looking back at all the moments you spent with the blond last night who you now have come to known as JJ Maybank, you feel all lively inside. You can’t help but melt as his perfect face had already imprinted itself into your brain. You can’t even sit still as thoughts of him constantly replay, taunting you of his beautiful existence every second and minute. Not that you come to mind though.

Smiling at yourself in the vanity mirror, you praise yourself for not making a fool out of yourself infront of the pogues and JJ at the kegger last night. You miss the group, already feeling so close with all of them. After applying finishing touches to your eyes with some expensive mascara, you start to make your way towards the door. Grabbing your Gucci purse on the way and smoothing out your yellow midi dress that was suited for casual days like these.

Halfway through lunch your mother bugs you about your love life. Mentioning some kook boys you’ve gotten to know these past months from parties and gatherings. This boy is handsome and funny, this boy is smart and a gentleman, this boy is tall and you both would look adorable together because of the height difference.

Rolling your eyes at the list of names that passed her lips. Kelce, Zac, Harry, Shawn, Jordan et cetera. All the young males living on the Figure 8. What made you roll your eyes is the lack of flavour, though you are no longer suprised at this.

You’re not sure why your mother insists on you dating a kook. Its not like she cares about statuses or how loaded someone is, your mother isn’t that kind of person to judge someone based on their wealth because she grew up without any of these fancy things at first. She used to live on the Cut.

So you begin to wonder. Why is your mother trying to set you up with all these boys who lacks personality if it has nothing to do with them being a kook? Is it because she reckons brunet males are superior?

Yeah it is in fact that reason and not because they are kooks. You know your mother could even care less if they were a touron.

“Its not all about their hair colour honey, you know that” she would say to defend herself when you ask but it doesn’t convince you. Its like theres a competition on which was better- “blonds or brunets?” and to her it being the latter.

She tells you that brunet males are just better looking than blonds so you shrug it off. Annoyed at her odd settlement and not bothering to stop her rambling about boys cause its not like she’d stop anyways.

“I just know you and Tom would be so cute together” making you choke on your pasta, she winks whilst taking a sip of her half empty champagne glass. Your step father humming in agreement at the mention of the said boy. You think back to when you first met Tom at a summer event hosted by his parents.

“Seriously mum? I met him once!”

He sure was charming though, handsome and fit with a deep british accent and a smile that could almost make your knees buckle. Almost.

It just doesn’t compare to JJ’s and his cute dimples.

The vibration of your phone buzzing on the table catches your attention. You glance down at it and see a text from your bestfriend, causing a smile to form on your face at the message.

Kiekie🌺: Come to the chateau boobear i made sandwiches and a fruit bowl so we can have a little picnic with the boys🥪🙇🏽‍♀️

Not being able to resist a picnic and food made by Kiara you text back almost immediately. Asking permission from your parents to let you go see Kie with a pout on your face, hoping it’ll be enough to convince them to let you go. The pout works everytime.

“Alright but come back before dinner and i mean it Y/N” your mother points at you sternly. You nod and give each of them a kiss on the cheek and head out. Opening the Uber app to get you to John B’s.

You: omw babygorl 👁👄👁

Kiekie🌺: srsly stop calling me that ):<

—————————————————————

Upon arriving at the Chateau you notice Pope and Kie first, hanging out by the hammock with a picnic blanket under them with plates, food and beers all set up nicely. No doubting that it was all Kie’s idea to organized it that neatly.

At first glance you would think that Pope and Kie were dating with how they look sitting together right now. Kie laughing at something Pope said and smacking his arm whilst Pope was peering at her with a soft look in his handsome features, almost like he was admiring the grinning girl. You know for a fact that if Kie was straight you’d be shipping the two friends together.

“Y/N hey!” Pope noticing you first and waving at you. Kiara getting up from her spot next to Pope to run over and engulf you in a hug. She pulls you down next to her and hands you some pineapple juice.

Pope offers you a sandwich which you decline kindly, telling him you already had lunch with your parents before you came here. Joining in on the previous conversation they had, you can’t help but drift off to where John B and JJ were at so you glance towards the house hoping to find either of them (more so the blond) in hopes you’ll catch one of them lingering around.

Kie nudges your shoulder with hers when she noticed your attention on the house and Pope explains that the two boys just stopped by the store to get more beers.

Then, as if on cue, the beat up van you recognised from last night pulls up and interrupts the conversation you trio had with its loud engine. You place a piece of hair behind your ears, something you do when your nervous about something and that something definitely has to do with the cute blond making his way over whilst carrying a small paper bag in his arm that he gently places down infront of you.

“Thought you’d enjoy these” the blond takes a seat next to you, giving you one of his signature dimpled smiles. The kind that instantly makes you melt. You tilt the paper bag towards you and you see three of your favourite snacks inside and if this sweet gesture doesn’t make you wanna kiss him right here, infront of the pogues than you don’t know what will at this point.

You let out a tiny gasp with a hand on your heart and turn your head towards the gorgeous blond beside you. You thank him shyly, feeling the heat rise up to your cheeks as he remembered your favourite snacks from all the times he’s delivered them to your house. He knows both your parents are crazy healthy, refusing to eat anything but salads or whatever protein foods there is.

He just guessed these snacks could only be wanted by you considering the snacks are only bought and ordered by other teens on Figure 8, no adult being interested to the very sweet snack. But the excitement decorating your pretty features makes his heart swell at the thought that he could make you this happy at something so little.

You both miss the way the other three exchange looks at the interaction. Too caught up in each other’s eyes to notice anything else around you. Pope coughs awkwardly, causing you to break eye contact with the blond.

“Uh JJ how do you know those are her favourites?” Kie eyes JJ, brows drawing together in confusion. He shrugs and says that he makes alot of deliveries to your house and just caught up on it. Kie’s eyes than lands on you and you just give her a nod, telling her that it was true.

She shrugs also and turns back to Pope to continue their previous conversation and thats when you caught John B staring at you with a smirk on his face, all he does is give you wink before joining in on the conversation with Kie and Pope.

You all spend the afternoon just eating, drinking and having a nice pleasant chat. But I’m not sure if you even considered this just chatting pleasantly. The group was loud and constantly talked over each other, interrupting each other mid sentence to change the subject. You found this amusing and appreciated that they never tried to do that when you joined in the conversation too.

The subtle touches from JJ here and there sends shivers down your spine as you try your best to not shy away from him when he caresses your thigh for a second when talking to you, or when he so gently cupped your face with his calloused hands when he tried to remove a ladybug that landed on your forehead. He’d smile cheekily at you when he catches you staring up at him innocently. Your heart could only handle so much of his attention being on you.

These touches don’t go unnoticed by the others, though they do not say anything about it. Only giving each other a look and snickering whenever they catch JJ placing one of his hands on you again. They find it adorable honestly.

“So Y/N whose escorting you to Midsummers?” You look up at Kie with raised brows, who in turn, is wiggling her own brows at you in a teasing manner.

“I unm.. i-“ you stutter out, not knowing what to say which makes her snort.

“Well what about you huh? Kie?” You shove her shoulders gently with a pout on your face feeling embarrassed all of a sudden.

“Hey! I was only asking silly girl, no need to be so shy” she pinches your left cheek, making you whine and the others laugh at you two. You feel JJ’s fingers gently caress your thigh again and you swore you felt butterflies in your stomach. You turn your head to look at him to see him already staring at you, admiring you.

You feel your cheeks heat up at the close proximity. When did he get so close? You swore you both weren’t sitting with your legs touching each other’s just mere minutes ago. You were about to start a conversation with JJ before Kie grabbed your hand, forcing your attention on her.

“Maybe ask Tom? I know he has a crush on you!”

You feel JJ’s fingers halt in his actions on your thigh and then slowly slip away. Your brows furrow at the loss of contact but still kept your eyes glued on Kie.

“Wait- Tom as in kook Tom or pogue mechanic Tom?”

John B quips, full of grapes in his mouth.

“Ew JB can you like, not talk with your mouth full?”

“Sorreh-“

“Yeah anyways, kook Tom!” Her hands still clasps around yours, beaming at you excitedly. She’s met Tom at the same party and she’s been shipping you both ever since the little chat you three had about using metal straws instead of plastic to save the turtles. Tom would have definitely been her type if she was straight, her words exactly.

“Ive talked to him a few times when i was out with dad making deliveries at his place and he’s actually really nice, i reckon go for it Y/n!”

Pope pipes up from where he was bending over in the ice cooler to grab a fruity drink for himself and throws you one too.

“Thanks Pope and also, i d-“

“JJ could escort you!!” you were suddenly cut off by John B’s loud voice, arms raised in the air as if he just came up with the most smartest plan ever.

You missed the way JJ’s head snaps towards his bestfriend with wide eyes. Cheeks starting to redden with every passing second. You crumble into a little ball when the blond takes his time to retort back.

You were about to tell JJ that he didn’t need to do that for you when a nervous chuckle leaves his lips and his hand placing itself back on your thigh stops you.

“That wouldn’t be a bad of an idea princess”

“You sure? You honestly don’t have to if you don’t wa-“

“And miss you being all pretty and dolled up? yeah don’t think so babe” he scoffs jokingly and sends a wink your way. You bite your bottom lip to supress a squeal, and thank him instead.

Kie then asks John B if he could escort her to Midsummers and Pope feigns hurt and she slaps him on his thigh, claiming that he’s gonna be there too, escorting some kook girl who practically forced him to be her partner.

As the others tease Pope, you turn to JJ and start planning on how you both can match each other for Midsummers, playing with each other’s hands as you both converse.

John B’s eyes falls on the girl and JJ’s almost interwining hands. He glances back up to look at his bestfriend and smiles at the sight of JJ looking so soft. Not once has John B seen JJ act this way towards a girl. A kook no less.

It was why he suggest JJ to escort you to Midsummers. The brunet knew JJ had a soft spot for you especially, having the blond mentioning a really pretty H/C kook girl that caught his eye months ago but never pursuing her because duh, your a kook and JJ hates kooks but with Kiara being the exception.

Who would have thought that kook girl would be the same Y/N Kie always talks about. What a small world John B thought.

Taglist: @alotbnouf @elhopqer @arthiriticcricket @eclecticpuppyhollywoodhumanoid @urlocalbrochure @cocoopalace @teamnick @lolitstiana @99sxuxii @styles-edward-harry @essencityv @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @i-ran-out-of-fanfics

If you see your @ crossed out, simply comment and I’ll fix it!! 💛

#fanfiction #jj maybank #jj maybank fanfic #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank x reader #jj outer banks #jj x reader #jj x y/n #jj x you #john b routledge #pope hayward #kiara carrera #outer banks #sarah cameron #rudy pankow #rudy pankow x reader #rudy obx

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lavendermenaceart · 3 years

Text

The ouroboros effect

Genre: Fantasy, Semi-post apocolyptic

Themes: Death, spirituality, witches, magic, reincarnation

Words: 2,379

Reincarnation is a finite resource in Vidia's world and it's running out. Children are being born without souls, and her High Priestess believes she knows what they need to do.

It started 2 years ago. The religious will tell you it was the rapture, but there was no end to it. Babies being born with some kind of defect. All the tests were clear, fine. But, something was wrong. They were empty-eyed, their voices hollow and flat, even when they cried. The religious were saying they were soulless and scientists weren’t able to explain it.

People made memes about it, made videos describing their explanations, but nothing came as close to explaining it as the idea that souls were in fact real, and these children were born without them.

The amount of infanticide rose by 46% the first year, even higher in the second. People were becoming too scared to have children, so birth rates dropped significantly. The government tried everything to get people to start reproducing again to little success. Countries that struggled with birth rates struggled even more. Everytime scientists thought they had an explanation, it vanished into thin air.

As these children grew up, they would simply sit there. They could not talk or walk or eat on their own. There were people deemed “radicals” for still caring about these children’s lives. Despite cries from more conservative groups who believed these children were sent from satan himself, the government did nothing to alleviate the situation except for dumping more and more money into research.

With all that said, the religious were almost right. They almost hit the nail on the head. They failed to take into consideration the second most widely held belief in the world: reincarnation. Yes, reincarnation was real and as the human population grew the number of souls available dwindled and dwindled.

The things that the news cycle rarely covered alongside the soulless, was the changing of the seasons. Winter didn’t last longer than 3 months anymore and most days could be described as summer weather. Southern states known for their heat were becoming uninhabitable. People moved in mass from these states, midwestern and northern states becoming so crowded that all resources were spread thin. People were dying more and more often from things like hunger and thirst. The apocalypse was upon us.

And so people began prepping, people like Vidia Knoll. Vidia was resting on her bed, the ac in her cramped apartment going full blast as well as multiple fans facing her bed. She scrolled idley through her social media apps. Doing anything that involved more movement than need be was now frowned upon. Moving meant you were losing water, and you wanted to need water as little as possible in this new world. Vidia followed a lot of preppers, they all didn’t believe the same as she did but it was enough of a shared interest for her to keep tabs on certain people.

As she scrolled through her feed, a message notification slid down from the top of her screen, a light ding sounding. It was a message to the group-chat of her coven. Vidia felt anxiety roil in her stomach as she tapped on the notification.

It simply read “Get ready, we’ll be starting within the next two hours.” It was from the high priestess.

And so Vidia prepared. She was in charge of creating the ceremonial robes and bringing candles. Other witches in the coven would be bringing herbs, lighters, food and drink, as well as chalk. This was going to be a big ceremony, a very heavy spell. Vidia and all her coven would probably be sick for a while afterwards. It is going to take an immense amount of energy to complete the spell her coven had planned

She grabbed all of the robes, made of velvet with silk detailing. The symbol of her coven, a albino raven perched on a branch, embroidered in silk on the left breast, and intricate twining lines outlined the deep purple of the robes. It was some of her best, and hardest, work to date.

Vidia felt the discomfort in her stomach grow as she mulled over the spell and her coven’s goal. To make life on earth an ouroboros. Time would begin looping, from the start of the world to the end of it, and all the life around her would be recycled over and over until something changed. Until a better solution was found. She kept telling herself a better solution would be found. A way to generate new souls would be found one day.

She took the duffle bag with the robes in it and headed out of her cramped, plain apartment. It was a hot day, like every day was. There was nothing special in the air, no odd feeling, no feeling of greatness appeared to Vidia as she pressed the down button on the elevator.

People loitered outside their apartments, wishing for open space instead of the cramped 4 walls they all lived in. No one spoke to Vidia so she spoke to no one as she entered a crowded elevator. Soon she was making her way down the 50 floors of her apartment, awkward coughs or the shifting of clothes puncturing the silence. As she stepped out of the elevator and out of the high rise apartment building, the only kind that existed anymore, she was confronted with the hot pavement, that blocky and gray highrises all around her. Some apartments had balconies, no doubt the more expensive ones, where people sat and watched the street below. Some people dried their laundry by hanging it over the railing of their balcony. Watching water drip and then dissipate in the heat, Vidia made her way towards the slowly darkening horizon. Night was a rare thing, a small blessing in a world full of heat and stench and crowded buildings.

The streets were quiet and empty as she made her way to the cafe her high priestess owned. It was a small, quaint little shop with 4 or 5 tables inside, as well as the bookshelves that held their meeting place.

Vidia was craving one of her vanilla bean frappuccinos as she walked in and the smell of cold drinks hit her. People rarely ordered hot coffee anymore.

“Merry met, High Priestess Nora.” Vidia smiled and waved as she entered the empty cafe. The walls were a warm brown, fake plant life lining where walls met in sharp corners, and more fake plants hung from the ceiling in baskets.

“Merry met, Vidia. Did you bring everything?” Nora asked, a tall and buff woman with dark tan skin and the darkest brown eyes Vidia had ever seen.

“Yes, I have all the robes and candles. Everything looks beautiful.” She smiled as she leaned against the counter and Nora flipped the open sign to closed. “All the robes took me a while but I think you’ll be really happy.” Vidia bit her lip as she patted the duffle bag she had placed in the chair next to her. She couldn’t deny she was anxious for the Priestesses’ reaction. She had worked so hard on them, and work was something you did only when you had to, not in your free time. Work meant water, body heat, sweating.

“I’m so excited!” Nora clapped her hands together, walking back to where Vidia sat and opened the duffle bag. Nora looked tough, but she really was just a big softy on the inside. The thought made Vidia smile through her anxiety.

“Oh, Vidia, they are absolutely wonderful. Where did you get this fabric?” She held up a robe, feeling the soft fabric between her fingers, tracing the embroidery with an index finger. She looked back to Vidia with curiosity in her eyes.

“Oh, my grandma had an old store of fabrics from when she was younger. Velvet and silk are too expensive but I wanted these to be special.” Vidia shrugged, trying to act nonchalant even though the praise made butterflies float around in her stomach.

As Nora placed the robe she was looking and feeling over back in the duffle bag, 5 other women walked into the cafe at once, chattering and giggling amongst themselves.

“Merry met, High Priestess, Merry met Vidia!” One of them, a blonde with green eyes, waved in greeting.

All five of the girls were carrying different things, one carrying satchels no doubt full of herbs, another carrying bundles of chalk, another carrying food, and the other was most likely carrying lighters in her purse.

“Merry met, ladies. Looks like we’re all prepared?” Nora was smiling, walking over to the bookcase and pressing on a bright green book that accepted the pressure her hand placed on it and the bookcase opened before her, leading to a dimly lit room. “I’ve got all the food, and I know Ruby and Damien have all their stuff.” A girl with bright aqua hair and brown eyes spoke up, looking to either side of her as everyone followed the High Priestess into the dim room.

“I’ve got all the lights!” A girl with brown hair and green eyes spoke up, shaking her purse.

“And i’ve obviously got all the herbs…” A woman with dark flowing hair and darker brown eyes lifted the satchels to prove her words.

As Vidia walked into the room, she took in her surroundings. It was a wide open space, with cool air blowing from an industrial AC. The walls were a dark lavender and the floors were interlocking planks of walnut. A table big enough for all seven of them sat with a black with golden trim table runner draped across it, and comfortable wooden chairs place around it to the left of the room.

“Alright, let’s light these candles and do this.” Nora said with determination shining in her brown eyes.

A trickle of anxiety filled the air as the girls set to work placing the white candles from Vidia’s bag in a circle in the middle of the room. Lighters were passed around and quickly heat filled the room as all the candles were lit one by one by the coven.

Nora turned the lights on, just the glow of the many candles filling the room and illuminating the women who gathered there.

They all came together in a circle, Nora, taking a piece of white chalk from Ruby, drew a circle around all of them, reciting what sounded like a poem in a booming voice.

“With this circle, I protect our energy. With this circle, I protect our work. With this circle, I cast out all unneeded energies. With this circle, I cast out all who wish us harm.” Nora finished the circle as she spoke the last word before walking to stand in the middle of it.

Vidia couldn’t help but think she looked beautiful in the warm candle light.

“So will it be.” The coven said all at once.

“Rose, scatter the herbs into the candles and speak what you must.” Nora nodded towards the dark haired girl.

Rose circled around the inside of the circle, throwing a mixture of petals and leaves and stalks onto the flames of the candle. An earthy, flowery scent filled the room as the candles flickered, smoke dancing up and up.

Rose returned to her space in the circle, whispering a little prayer that only Vidia barely heard. Surely, it was a prayer for protection.

“Ruby, offer The Energies food so they may be energized and see us fondly.” Nora nodded towards a girl with bright red hair and brown eyes.

Ruby made her way to the head of the circle, placing a plate of delectable meats and vegetables, saying a short prayer to the energies that made the world what it was to look on us kindly and offer help.

“Damien, offer the energies wine so they may be in a good mood, and so they know they are welcomed as family.”

Damien poured a glass of red wine at the head of the circle, next to Ruby’s food.

“And so we shall begin. Hold hands and concentrate all your energies. Follow my words.” Nora reach her hands out to either side of her, the circle slowly connecting and joining together.

Vidia could feel electricity in the air, and felt a slight wind blow through the room as they all connected hands. The Energies were pleased with the offering and with the politeness of the group. Vidia couldn’t help but smile at the magick that surrounded her. Goosebumps rose on her skin as she looked around the circle, everyone else smiling and a few giggles bubbling up from the group of women as the wind tickled their faces.

“Energies, Hear our plea.” Nora spoke loudly, not to the other women, but to the air in front of her. She looked so determined, her brows set. She was putting all of her energy into her words, so Vidia did when it was the circle’s turn to recite the words back. Energy tingled and danced in her chest, Vidia trying to manipulate it to lend power to her words.

“We….hear….your...plea.” Voices of unidentifiable gender spoke, quiet and soft. Vidia couldn’t help but jump a little. The coven had done magick together before, but never had The Energies talked back.

Nothing appeared before them, but they could all feel it. All around them, strands of energy twinkled and danced. White lines, passing through objects and through herself. Vidia watched as all the lines converged in the middle of the circle. Lines reaching from each woman, dancing and twining together. Another line, thicker than the rest, grew up into the ceiling. No, past the ceiling. Vidia watched it all happening before her eyes and couldn’t help but blink away tears. It was beautiful, and she was part of it. She helped bring such a sight into being.

Nora bowed gracefully to the energies, even though they came from everywhere.

“We are here to ask for your aid. We wish to bring an end to the soulless plaguing our reality. We ask that you do whatever is in your power to help us. We will praise you for the rest of our days in return.” Nora spoke, her eyes searching all around her as she waited for the voices to speak again.

“We...will give...what you….need...but….not...what you…..want.” The voice spoke so slowly, like syrup melting over warm pancakes. The Energies existed all around and inside of Vidia, she could almost hear what they were going to say before they spoke it.

“What is it that we need?” Nora asked hesitantly, human curiosity getting the better of her.

“New….souls.” Was all it said. Vidia couldn’t help but feel like it was spoken too simply. Were the energies that powerful that they could just make new souls? Why hadn’t they done this before? Maybe it just wasn’t brought to their attention. Vidia’s mind raced with questions and answers. She wanted to ask, to regurgitate all of the words spinning in her head, but she decided against it. Who was she to question Gods?

Nora sank to her knees, still holding onto the women at either side of her. She looked drained, her skin turning pale. She was still conscious, but worn out from the amount of energy she was expending.

“No….more...soulless...In...return...Your magick.” Slowly, one by one, the circle began collapsing. Vidia felt the world around her spin and blacken. The last thing she could remember seeing was Nora laying on the ground, peacefully sleeping.

And so the witches slept. They slept and slept, and slept. If the tenant hadn’t found them a week later, who knows if any of them would still be alive. All Vidia knew was that she was uncomfortable and cold, laying in a hospital bed hooked up to IVs to replenish her strength. Even though she was still so tired, she could at least manage to be awake for a few hours at a time. In those hours she watched the news. The news told stories of previously soulless children coming to life. No more were being born. But when Vidia closed her eyes and tried to focus her energy, she felt nothing.

Her magick in exchange for souls. She was sure it was a fair trade, but she couldn’t help but feel empty without her magick. She hadn’t fixed the world, but at least she helped fix something. She gave families closure and happiness. She gave children new lives, and ensured lives for future generations to come. Vidia let a silent prayer to The Energies fall off her lips, thanking them. In return, she felt a gentle breeze. Even if she had no magick, she had their favor.

#writeblr #writing prompt #fiction #fantasy #original story #creative writing #my writing #writers of tumblr #writers on tumblr

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