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#met this guy been on a few dates but its nothing really i guess right cause i cant get myself to kiss him even tho i want to
theantiproduct · 2 years
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#everytime i open this app it looks completely different#anyways heres a lil update rant tired blabbering tags post cause why nottttt#so my health is shit and i have about 300 test to get done and i honestly am so stressed out over this that i cant even function#and u know whats funny about it all is i originally went to the doc to maybe get diagnosed with adhd and i was which duh but thennnn#the funniest thing happened#took the meds and i was actually feeling a lot better and more productive! who knew thats an option but then my dic was like#we should do an ekg just to make sure youre good to take these#so obviously my hr was super high which let to more tests and more experts and haha i cant do this anymore its exhausting#so i cant take my adhd meds and i have an appointment every other day for the next month#oh and btw when i was feeling better for like a week or two i started dating again cause why not! do not have enough going on atm#met this guy been on a few dates but its nothing really i guess right cause i cant get myself to kiss him even tho i want to#cause im so scared of intimacy and so scared of being vulnerable so he's probably gonna ditch soon cause why wouldn't he and#what am i doing trying to date when i have these issues#i just want something good yknow im so tired and i just need like a good cuddle#im gonna be visiting my brother in January after 3 years of not seeing him and the kids but thats obviously stressing me out too#cause covid and planes and big sad but idk we'll see if it wont get cancelled like my last trip did#good rant ty tumblr for not shutting down yet#personal#update i have an autoimmune disease and 300 more tests to do and pills to take#fun to be me
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corruptedcaps · 4 months
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Fake Week
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“What kind of sicko are you Kane? I will not wear this… this butt plug. Its bad enough I have to pretend to be your girlfriend for a month so you’ll stop bullying Kevin but I’m not going indulge you in this sick game and wear some lewd sex toy of yours. I don’t care if this is what all your exes did! You’ll knock it down to just a week if I do? Alright fine but I’m cleaning it first. Maybe cleaning it more than once.”
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“Are you happy now Kane? No you don’t get to check it! No wonder you’re single, you’re such a creep! Oh sure you wanted to see it was fitting fine and not hurting me? Yeah right how stupid do you think I am? And besides it fits perfectly, like really perfect actually. I uh got to go.”
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“Yeah so what if I’m putting on makeup? I figured if I’m going to sell being your girlfriend I should probably start looking like those vapid bitches you are used to dating. Plus this is so easy, don’t know why I didn’t try it before. It’s just an act, you’re still a creep and once today is done I’ll be one day closer to not having to pretend to be your girlfriend!”
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“It’s called yoga Kane. All you exes are flexible, athletic bitches so I thought I might as well act like I care about this stuff. I have to say though I’ve seen such a crazy improvement in just a few hours. It’s like magic! I can stretch and twist like never before and I’ve seen improvements in other areas too. Areas I see you’re checking out you cheeky bastard. I guess it is a pretty amazing ass now so I’ll allow it but don’t get any ideas, I’m just your fake girlfriend for 5 more days.”
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“I never noticed how long my hair had gotten lately, it was getting in my face all the time during yoga so I decided to put it into a high ponytail, you know like one of your exes, and it’s so freeing. I used to think it was so bitchy looking but now honestly I think it’s sexy like this don’t you think? Of course you agree, I can see that bulge in your pants ‘babe’. Hmmm it’s kind of hawt seeing someone other that Kevin be turned on by me. Even with him it’s so few and far between lately. Maybe in four days when I’m back to being his girlfriend he’ll like this new hairstyle.”
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“Ugh why are my so called friends so annoying today? They were complaining that I was saying mean things about Margo. All I said was if she wanted to ever get a guy she should maybe lay off the ice cream once and awhile. It’s not my fault the fatty started to cry. She should thank me for being honest with her. I should be more honest with the lot of them and kick them to the curb but they’re the only friends I’ve got. You’ve heard Amber and Mercedes want to be friends with me? The two biggest bully’s in school, but they are pretty cool and fashionable unlike these other dweebs. Maybe I’ll give them a text, thanks for the encouragement…. babe.”
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“You were right about Amber and Mercedes. We texted all day yesterday and met up at the mall and went shopping. They convinced me to throw out all my lame clothes and buy a totally new look. It’s mostly pink and tight and sexy as hell. They also convinced me about something else. About you. I’ve been such a brat to you these past few days and you’ve been nothing but a gentleman to me. It’s time you got some sort of reward for your troubles. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t going to be a reward for me too. Just stand there looking handsome as hell and I’ll do the rest.”
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“Hey baby, last night was mmmm really hawt but don’t tell anyone ok? I don’t want Kevin to know that I cheated on him last night… or this morning… or in your car later today. I can’t help it if you can’t keep your hands off me. I mean who can blame you? Plus you are MY boyfriend for two more days. Of course I told Amber and Mercedes though, they’re my besties, I had to tell them. Plus they were so impressed by what a bitchy thing my cheating was that they made me their new leader. Wasn’t your ex their old leader? Well I’m going to being even badder and bitchier than she was. Mmm that’s making me so horny. Fuck it let’s go to your car now.”
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“Last day of our ‘relationship’. It’s only right that we get all the fucking in that we can. Glad to see your stamina is up to the task. Kevin wouldn’t last a fraction that you are capable of. What a fucking loser, can’t believe I have to go back to him tomorrow. Why am I doing this again? To stop you bullying him? He deserves to be bullied and you’re soooo hawt doing it. I never admitted since putting in the butt plug I’ve been touching myself at night thinking about you wailing on him. You’re so much more of a man than he ever will be. You know what? Fuck him. I deserve a strong, mean, and hot as hell boyfriend and you deserve a bitchy queen bee of a girlfriend. Kevin deserves to be the victim. Forgot our deal, I’m yours for good now and Kevin is all yours.”
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“Oh the jacket? It belongs to my boyfriend, Kane. You know, your bully? Me date you? As if loser, I’ve always been Kane’s girl and always will. It’s like I was made for him. You’re just some simping creep who’s wanted in my panties for years. Everyone knows it, because my beta besties Amber and Mercedes are telling them right now. Those two can spread news like wildfires. You’ll be a pariah by the end of the day. Kane will be cheered on for bullying you. Mmmm speaking of which here he comes. Don’t forget to cry, it makes me so wet when you do.”
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For your ask game ~ 📖 🦉 🔞
Worth the Risk - Jack Delroy/Reader
Warnings: Female reader, no use of Y/N, making out, almost fully clothed grinding, clothed fingering, bit of exhibition/voyeurism, vaginal sex.
Wordcount: 6317
Summary: He'd given you his card, invited you to the studio with the promise of a good time, and the show had been amazing for sure, but did the night really have to end once the cameras turned off?
Notes: I really wanted to write this the other day but I was too sleepy and went to bed early y'know like a baby 😖 anyways I've been wanting to do a sequel to Susceptible since I first posted it and somehow it ended up even longer so this is for you hehe hope you enjoy~ 💗💗💗
Wait for me by the back entrance at 11:00 Phil will let you in JD
You don’t know how many times you’d looked at the card he handed you since that night, but the corners were starting to bend and the pen marks were beginning to smudge, just a little. You forced yourself to leave it be as you checked your appearance one last time, the mirror by the front door to your apartment offering its final encouragement as you decided there was nothing left you could do to delay your departure before you were late. As soon as you were out the door you had to resist the urge to sprint, your heels sending muffled echoes down the hall as you headed straight for the elevator, a kindly old woman holding it for you with a smile. 
You had the sense to call a cab early so you wouldn’t have to risk waiting and missing your 11PM deadline, the car stalling right outside the door as you waved to the driver and got inside. ‘Fiske Studios, please,’ you tell him, the small building owned by a branch of UBC now very well known thanks to a certain Mr. Midnight. Your leg bounced the entire way there, the card once again in your hands as you stared out the window, neighbourhoods giving way to open city streets, more cars circling around you like a school of fish. You hated driving in the city, it was the main reason why you dedicated so much of your paycheck to cabs, but tonight you were starting to wish you’d driven yourself as you hit the tenth red light in a row.
The driver sensed your anxiousness as you bit your lip for just a split second before your purse was opened and your lipstick was uncapped, the tiny mirror in your hand reassuring you that it’d be fine, you looked great, it was an easy fix. ‘Hot date tonight?’ he asked over his shoulder, his voice startling you a little as you snapped the mirror shut again.
‘Uh, going to a live show, actually,’ you said cautiously, avoiding a yes or no to his question; it’d be too presumptuous to say yes, but god if you didn’t want to hope. ‘I’m meeting a few friends there, don’t wanna be late and all.’
‘Oh, well, girl’s gotta have some fun on a Friday night, I guess,’ he said as he looked you over in the rearview, your coat pulled a little tighter over your shoulders as you forced a smile and tried not to look to disgusted; this was yet another reason why you were so fond of Jack Delroy, he’d never make you feel that way, what with him being such a gentleman and all.
The memory of the night you met made you shiver briefly as the hallucination flashed through your mind again, the false feeling of his hands on you having haunted you all week. You sucked in a very long breath through your nose as you willed the pink to leave your cheeks again, the last thing you needed right now was this guy seeing you get covered in goosebumps and assume it was because of what he’d said. You actually hadn’t been able to watch Night Owls since that night, feeling almost guilty about it even though there was no way he would know you hadn’t seen all the exciting things he’d been talking about. You’d tried last night, but as soon as the wall had opened and he’d strolled on out with that smile and his eyes instantly finding the camera you’d become a right mess way too fast and had to turn it off again, your heart pounding and your legs pressed uncomfortably tight together just at the sight of him.
Goddamn you Carmichael Haig.
The studio came into view with the latest turn and you readied yourself to get out, money already in hand by the time the car had stopped. The bill was settled and you stepped out into the cool night air, cutting off the driver’s wish for you to have a good night with the slamming of the door, and you took a look around and tried to guess which way would lead to the back door he’d mentioned. You waited until the car was out of sight, pretending to see your ‘friends’ so it wouldn’t look like you were about to walk down a dark alley by yourself, another deep breath exhaled sharply as you summoned up all of your courage and headed to the right.
It was a large alley, big enough for a car to drive down and reach the parking lot out back, which thankfully held just as many people walking about as the front did. A lot of them favoured a large, metal door up a tiny flight of stairs, keycards flashed to unlock it before it was held open for several people at a time, everyone helping each other in the most efficient of ways. You had no idea which one Phil was supposed to be, and if you waited too long you might get pinned as a fan trying to sneak in, so the next time someone approached the area you were lurking in you got the card back out and held it out to him.
‘Um, I’m supposed to find Phil?’ you said uncertainly, the man looking you over before taking the card. ‘Ja- Mr. Delroy told me to meet him here.’
‘How’d you meet Jack?’ he asked, clearly recognizing the handwriting but wanting to be certain all the same as he handed it back to you.
‘At Carmichael Haig’s show, we got to talk for a little bit,’ you explained, your nerves starting to rise the longer you were out there, the paranoia that you wouldn’t be able to get in starting to rise in your chest.
‘Ohhh, so you’re the one he was telling Gus about,’ the man said with a grin, your back straightening at the very thought of Jack talking about you with anyone, let alone with someone in a public place. ‘Yeah, he told me to expect someone, I’ll take you up there now if you help me carry something, save me a trip?’
You agreed to his terms, the man apparently being Phil as he shook your hand and handed you the box he was balancing on one arm as you talked. He quickly jogged back to his car to grab another box before returning to you, the door held open for you both as you squeezed past another employee and followed him through the maze of hallways and way too many doors to count. The studio itself was actually on the second floor, the first dedicated to offices and meeting rooms and other businessy things, the elevator able to just barely let you both cram inside as everyone got ready for the taping.
‘Is it always this hectic?’ you asked before you realized you were even opening your mouth, Phil just laughing and adjusting his box.
‘Every single night.’
Once the elevator had pinged and the doors had slid open, Phil then led you through a few more hallways until he pushed through a locked STAFF ONLY door, even more people on the other side, although there was more to the area back here, your eyes widening when it hit you that this was the back of Jack’s set. Phil noticed your excitement and set his box down on the nearest table, taking yours in another swift movement before motioning towards the slightly ajar wall panel; the audience’s seats were just in view through the crack, some people already coming in and finding their spots, and you were just in the middle of wondering if you should attempt finding an empty one when you felt a hand on your shoulder.
‘Quite the view, isn’t it?’
You turned to see Jack standing behind you, a look of pure bliss on his face as he watched the band get ready, Gus talking to someone and going over scripts off to the right, the few audience members chatting with each other as they guessed what they’d see that night. He truly loved this job, you could tell he did even after doing it for so many years, and seeing him so in love only made you love him even more. He looked down at you then, a fondness in his eyes as he gave your shoulder a squeeze and led you around back, a little tour before you had to leave him.
‘I’m glad you came,’ he admitted as you took everything in, everyone shifting their gaze towards the both of you as long as they thought they could get away with it. ‘Been looking forward to tonight all week, what did you think of the lineup?’
‘I, uh-’ you trailed off as he pulled you out of the way of a staff member carrying the requested items for tonight’s guest, your coat suddenly feeling way too warm to still be wearing inside. ‘I missed out on them, actually, been a busy week,’ you lied, avoiding his face as your cheeks lit up; you were not about to tell him that it was because looking at him made you remember how he’d felt pressed up against your waist, even if it was fake.
A shiver ran up your spine as you then realized that the heat against your back very much wasn’t however.
‘I’ll have to tell you all about it later, don’t want you missing out on anything,’ he said with a grin, your lips trembling as you tried to keep your smile from getting any bigger. There was no way he’d actually do that, he had to be too busy to entertain you when the PMs turned to AMs, but it was a nice thought indeed.
‘I’d like that,’ you admitted either way, happy to live in the fantasy for just a little bit at least.
‘Jack!’ someone called from just out of sight, a curly-haired man in sunglasses hunting him down with expert precision as he hurried over. ‘Gus just told me you’ve been saving seats all week, you wanna explain why that is?’
‘And there’s my cue,’ he whispers in your ear before using your shoulders to turn you and guide you back to the slit in the wall. ‘Middle front row, furthest left seat,’ he whispered before pushing you to the other side, his attention turned to his producer as he descended upon him for losing them money. You listened for just a second before it hit you that you were there, you were really there, your mouth dropping open as you slowly spun to check out the Night Owls set. People were whispering about who you might be but you didn’t care, not leaving until you heard Gus clear his throat and ask what you were doing.
‘Finding my seat,’ you mumbled, although maybe it had come out as nonsense in your delighted stupor, you couldn’t be sure at the moment.
‘Okay, do you have a ticket?’ he asked, still so polite even though he was very much confused. You just held up the card again, your eyes going higher as you stared at all the lights. ‘I see, so you’re the one he’s been waiting for, right this way.’
The one he’s been waiting for? Clearly you must’ve misheard, Jack Delroy couldn’t possibly have been that excited for you, you’d only spoken for maybe five minutes, tops.
Gus led you to your seat and you instantly sank into it, a 40 minute wait still ahead of you but it felt like no time at all as the rows all filled up and people slowly stopped walking across the set to prepare. On either side of you, cameramen took their places and lined up their shots, the blue screen of the viewfinder catching your attention as you couldn’t help but see what they saw. Gus got himself ready by the band, who were all tuned up and ready to go, and when midnight hit and Gus started calling out that night’s guests, you couldn’t help but bite your lip again as Jack’s name was announced and the wall opened up again to reveal him.
He’d been right, it was an incredible show, his presence so much more overwhelming as you could only focus on him no matter who he stood or sat beside. Every single one of his jokes landed, every eccentric wave of his hands drew you in without fail, and every single smile he shot your way when you laughed only confirmed more and more that you were genuinely glad you came. He tried to talk to you during the breaks but each time he’d been interrupted either by one of his co-workers or someone in the audience ready to snatch up his attention, Jack too polite to refuse either, although it was honestly starting to make you a little jealous.
Before you knew it, his hour had passed and he was saying goodbye, your chest deflating as he was played out again along with his final guest, your hands a little numb as you gave him his well deserved applause. You didn’t want to get up and leave as the rest of the people around you did without hesitation, a chorus of yawns starting to infect everyone like a virus now that it was officially bedtime. You were rooted to the spot, hands clasped in your lap as you wondered if it’d be too presumptuous to assume that maybe he’d come back out again when everyone was gone, wish you your own personal goodnight, people staring again as you waited until you accepted that you’d fulfilled his request, there was no need to stay now.
‘Oh good, you’re still here,’ Jack panted as he jogged over to you, a sheen on his cheeks and forehead from the excitement of the night mixed in with the hot stage lights, ‘I was worried you’d leave when Leo grabbed me just now.’ 
‘I’m in no hurry,’ you told him as you stood, your clasped hands hiding behind your back so he wouldn’t see you fidgeting. ‘It was a great show, I had a lot of fun tonight.’
His smile turned from Showman Jack to Genuine Jack at that, your ability to always tell coming in handy yet again as you tried to hide your blush by tucking your hair behind your ear. ‘I take it you had a more enjoyable time with me than at Haig’s, then?’ he asked, your blushing deepening at his choice of words.
‘I did, yeah.’ Everyone was packing up for the night around you, no one giving you a passing glance as the desire to get home and sleep overtook their curiosity, and when he stifled a yawn you couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty at keeping him. ‘All good things must come to an end though, I suppose; I should really get heading back, it’ll be a nightmare to find a cab this late.’ You didn’t want to go, but you also didn’t want to press your luck either, and maybe you’d get another invitation to another show, who knew?
‘I could give you a ride, if you wanted,’ he offered, completely catching you off guard as your eyes widened for a second in surprise. ‘Or, if you’re truly a night owl like me, you’d prefer to join me for a drink? I always grab one after a show, can’t sleep otherwise.’
You swallowed, mouth cotton dry as you went over his offer in your head a few times; was he asking you out on a date? He had to have been, who else went out to get a drink together at 1AM other than people on dates, right? ‘Yeah, a drink sounds great,’ you finally managed to squeak out, the corners of his eyes scrunching when he smiled before offering his arm for you to take, a true gentleman. He led you back through the labyrinth until you reached the parking lot, his car parked in a spot with his name plastered against the wall behind it, most of the other cars already gone now that their owners were free.
His car was simple, nothing too flashy like someone else in his position would own, the seats worn on the inside and telling you that he must’ve had it for many years. You tried not to look too nervous as he unlocked his door and let himself in, his long body stretching across the front so he could unlock the passenger side as well; an old car indeed, he was taking very good care of it for it to still look that good. You thanked him as you sat down and shut the door, the smell of his cologne stealing your breath away as you were surrounded by purely him, the faint smell of smoke mixing in with it, your eyes fluttering shut as you tried not to look too obvious.
He shot you a glance as he clicked his seatbelt into place, the noise making you come back to your senses and do the same so he could start driving. There were quite a few bars around there, some late night diners as well, and you grew more and more confused as he drove by all of them without a word. By the time you left the city and started to head towards a more residential area, you were starting to wonder if you were going for a drink at all, not remembering ever telling him where you lived, of course this neighborhood was much too nice, maybe you should be flattered if he thought you lived around here.
‘Are we still…?’ you tried to ask, your question dying out as he then turned into the driveway of a very nice but modestly sized house, all the lights off inside telling you that no one was home. He didn’t turn off the engine though, his eyes on the wheel before he turned to you, a hopeful something in his eyes that mirrored your own.
‘Would you like to come inside? Or should we try calling that cab?’ he asked you gently, giving you the choice of what you wanted to do now that you knew where you’d be drinking, your heart thumping a little faster as you adjusted the strap of your purse and flashed him the most confident smile you could muster.
‘You did promise to tell me all about the shows I miss,’ you reminded him, Jack’s smile softening as he agreed with a, ‘Yes I did.’ The engine shut off and you both exited the car, the night air making you shiver as you held your coat a little tighter over your arms. He noticed immediately, his suit jacket draped over you before you could confirm or deny you wanted it, heat spreading throughout you as the scent of his cologne hit you even harder. You wrapped yourself up in it, face tucked into the collar as you headed for his front door, always a few steps behind until he unlocked the door and pushed it open, allowing you to go in first.
It was a modest place, decorated more cozily than anything, and you felt right at home as you stepped inside and took a look around; the walls held photos of family and friends, his coworkers and people he’d met through Night Owls spaced out around them, the surfaces of every table and shelf decorated with something and filling the space while also feeling sparse. Cozy was definitely the right word, but it also felt like a bachelor pad in the way he’d left clothes draped over the back of the couch, how the kitchen was pristinely clean from rare use based on the amount of menus he’d collected into the holder by his phone, and the dedicated minibar off in the corner so he could entertain guests.
He headed there now as you observed your surroundings, his voice breaking your thoughts as he asked you to pick your poison. You gave him your desired drink request, Jack’s eyes shining as he located the bottle amongst the plethora of them in his reserve, whisky placed next to it as he located a couple of glasses next. ‘Ice?’ he asked casually as he poured both drinks, you kindly refusing as he grabbed a couple for himself. The ice crackled in his glass as he returned, the sound pleasant to you and filling the air as he handed you your drink. ‘I’d offer you a seat at the table, but my back is killing me tonight, if you’d rather join me on the couch?’
What a liar, you could always tell when he was acting. You accepted anyways, pretending to buy into it as you both took opposite ends of the old leather couch situated in front of his fireplace. The cushions creaked underneath as you sat down, Jack letting out a sigh that didn’t sound fake as he relaxed, his body sinking right in before he took a sip and turned to look at you. You blushed and looked away, focusing on your glass as you swirled the contents around, now wishing for ice since watching it would be a good distraction.
You’d been so focused on his home that it was starting to dawn on you that you were in his home, on his couch, drinking his liquor, his focus on nothing and no one other than you. ‘Dreamer, here, awake,’ you whispered softly under your breath, remembering what Haig had said to snap you out of it and needing to make sure this wasn’t just another dream.
‘What was that?’
Oh god, it wasn’t a dream, you were really here, and his arm was now on the back of the couch, casually reaching towards you as he tilted his head to the side with an amused grin. 
‘So, how did the shows that I missed go?’ you quickly choked out, Jack chuckling at how your voice sounded way more broken than you’d wanted before downing the rest of his drink and setting the empty glass on the coffee table in front of him.
‘Well, on Monday I got to interview someone about his upcoming play, so that was interesting,’ he began, his body turned more towards you as he spoke. ‘On Tuesday, we had a man who sailed halfway around the world and narrowly survived being shipwrecked, and he read us an excerpt from his captain’s log, which he revealed he’ll be turning into a book to preserve the memories of his shipmates.’ He slid a little down the leather, genuine interest in his eyes as he spoke, that another thing you loved about him. ‘Wednesday was Game Night, as you know, and one of our audience members managed to win the jackpot and gave us a victory dance to celebrate. Gus tried to attempt it and fell on his ass, so everyone made me try it and I nearly crashed into my stage, everyone had a lot of fun that night.
His voice started to soften as he moved a little closer, your body frozen in both awe at what you’d missed and also the sight of him starting to fill up your entire view, your drink forgotten in your hands.
‘And then on Thursday we took a call from a man who thought he had superpowers, can you believe that? He truly believed he got them from another dimension, so fascinating.’ He was just about to slide over the middle cushion, your legs pressing tightly together so you wouldn’t touch him on accident, your lip worried between your teeth again. ‘I asked him to come on the show, but he hung up, I hope he calls again next week.’ His arm was completely behind you you finally noticed as his thumb brushed against your shoulder just enough for you to feel it over your coat and his suit jacket, the heat of both starting to make you sweat as he stayed just outside your personal space, ever the gentleman as he waited for you to tell him to back up. 
You didn’t, your tongue darting out and tasting your lipstick as you glanced to the side, seeing just enough of him to know that he didn’t look dangerous, or overly sexual like your fantasy had been, his actual expression one of wonder as he remained just out of reach. You felt like you had to comment on his week, say something in response to what he was telling you but you couldn’t, the sound of his thumb running over the fabric directly in your ear as you finally took your first sip.
‘Sounds like I missed a lot,’ you eventually said, Jack nodding and shifting as he got comfier, the movement sending him a little closer to you. ‘Maybe you should invite me back again, I could probably make time for that.’
‘I’ll have to see if I can get you an actual ticket this time, then, Leo was very unhappy I snuck you in.’ His voice was so low as you took another, bigger sip, his arm sliding off the back of the couch and just barely resting against the very bottom of your neck.
‘Is that what that was? I’ll be sure to use the front door next time.’ Another sip, his other hand in plain sight on his thigh as it traveled down towards you. 
‘I think I’d prefer to escort you in myself, so you don’t get lost, it’s like a maze in there.’ You watched his hand just barely touch the hem of his jacket, a soft hum leaving his throat as his eyes half-lidded. ‘You look good in this, I might have to let you borrow it more often.’
‘You assume I’ll need it again? How presumptuous of you,’ you joked in an attempt to keep things light, but it fell flat as you looked at him while you said it, his expression rendering you speechless in seconds. Now that you were facing him he couldn’t resist the urge to touch your cheek, his fingertips just barely brushing against you and making you shut your eyes as you tried to lean against them, the contact causing shivers to run down your spine at how incredibly gentle it was.
‘I really am glad you came tonight,’ he whispered as he leaned in, breath soft against your face as you both held off from closing the gap, ‘god, you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.’
You nearly dropped the glass, Jack placing his hand over yours to make sure you didn’t before taking it away entirely. ‘Y-you’re just telling me what I wanna hear,’ you repeated from your fantasy, Jack leaning away to set the glass down before letting his forehead rest against your own.
‘Is it working?’
You grabbed onto his tie and pulled him into you, your mouths crashing together as you kissed him with all the need of someone who’d wanted this for years. He braced himself on the back of the couch as you leaned against the arm, your body arching up as he rearranged how he was sitting to kneel over you. He wasn’t as forward as your fantasy, which was understandable considering you knew very well that he’d only acted the exact way you wanted, but instead you discovered that he was slow, making as many points of contact as he could while giving you space. He was obsessed with kissing away the rest of your lipstick but he never tried to take more than you were giving him, your bodies still too far apart as he caressed you.
‘You’re so beautiful,’ he repeated as his hand left your jaw to travel down to your hip, not to hold down or make you keen but just to feel the soft curve of your body; he was committing you to memory, tracing over each wrinkle in the fabric, each place that made you squirm just a little.
‘Jack…’ you sighed as he pushed both coats aside to gently kiss at your neck, small things that made you want beyond the sweetness, the love. ‘Don’t make me wait anymore, please…’
He pressed a single kiss to your jaw at that, sitting back just enough so he could look at your face. You turned away, embarrassed by your neediness, but he turned you back to him with only a whisper of a touch, a plea instead of a command. ‘How long have you been waiting?’ he asked, lips hovering just above yours, pulling away when you tried to close the gap.
‘Years.’
He kissed you again, a little rougher this time as his own need was made clear, his body shifting down until he was laying himself on top of you, and for however real your fantasy had felt, it was fucking nothing compared to the weight of him pressing pure want directly into your waist. It made you gasp how good he felt, your legs spreading until your skirt wouldn’t stretch any further, the desire to hike it up all the way so you could feel him a little better making you almost actually do it. It was him who made that move when he felt you struggling, your legs pressed into his almost uncomfortably, and he placed his hands at the hem and waited for your okay, not wanting to do anything without your permission.
What a fucking gentleman.
You nodded and he lifted your skirt, your back arching off the couch so it could be bunched up, your underwear on display just the smallest amount before your skirt was let go. That small amount made him blush, his lips parting as he then palmed himself to ease the strain of his own clothes, his nice suit pulled taut over his dick as he kneaded. It made you want him even more, the fantasies of seeing him like that deciding to play like the world’s longest and lewdest film in your mind, reminding you of every single thing you wanted to do to him, what you wanted him to do to you.
‘I want to feel you,’ you told him, his eyes fluttering shut like the quicktalking showman Mr. Midnight couldn’t handle a bit of dirty talk; he was so cute it almost hurt as he moved his hand aside for you, granting you access to the space while he tried to undo his belt. You rubbed him over his pants, listening to the sounds he was making and letting your desire grow with each one, and when his belt was undone and his zipper was down you tugged just his pants over his hips just enough to show off his bulge a little better. It strained over the opening, the sight so tantalizing that you’d risk staying hypnotized forever if this really was just another dream, his body laying down over yours again as you wrapped your leg around him.
He started to grind against you, the fantasy definitely not doing him justice as a sinful heat warmed you up in an instant, the coats much too hot as you tried to strip them both off. He helped you but didn’t stop moving, each thrust just enough to create the best friction you’d ever experienced. There was no audience this time, no one to risk ruining this for you, and you took full advantage of that as you let out a deviously loud moan when he rubbed against you just right. 
‘God…’ he panted into your neck, hips moving just a little faster, and it felt good but it wasn’t what you wanted, not entirely. You reached down between where your bodies touched to try and get a hold of his boxers, your nails catching over the waistband just out of reach. He felt your attempts and knew what you were trying to do, his face unsure even though he still couldn’t stop. ‘Are you sure?’ he needed to know, his hips finally stilling for the most part, your eyes watering with how much you meant it as you told him yes. He groaned as he reached between your legs, feeling your wetness seeping through your panties as you moved against him, your head instantly falling back.
The sounds you let out were indecent, he wasn’t even inside you yet and he was making you fall apart just because it was him who was doing this, his fingers rewriting your brain and telling you that you’d never be able to get off on just your imagination ever again. He played with you as his other hand pushed his boxers down the rest of the way, his dick falling free and making him hiss as he gave himself a few strokes, the sound getting you to look up. Your legs twitched as you almost came just from the sight alone, his eyes shut tight as his head lolled to the side, his impressive length looking even bigger in his hand as he got himself ready.
As soon as he felt your eyes on him he locked onto you, his big, showman smile showing a little more teeth than usual as he let you watch, his own sounds almost addicting as he let you know exactly how good his own hand felt. Between the sight and his hands making the both of you feel good, you didn’t know how much more you could take of this before you were shoving him down, Jack sensing your desperation and leaning back over you. He pulled aside your panties and rubbed you a couple more times before pressing his waist against yours, spreading your wetness along the underside of his shaft, grinding against you this way until you were practically begging him to do more, please.
He chuckled at your reaction before taking himself in hand again, spreading it even more before holding himself up to your entrance, one last chance to back out. You made sure to lock eyes with him as you grabbed his tie and pulled him down to you once more, your mouth falling open as he pushed deep inside of you the more you pulled. You didn’t stop until you were full, the two of you panting into each other's mouth before he started to move, both of your legs wrapping around him this time as you tried to take him even deeper.
It was hot, you were sweating, you could see the sheen on his cheeks and forehead again as he suffered in the almost entirety of his suit versus your outfit, and you helped him relieve some of his suffering as you started to unbutton his shirt. You shoved it off one shoulder before he was tearing it off of himself and tossing it away, your own shirt pushed up to reveal a heaving stomach, muscles working hard under the flesh as he thrust into you, your body unable to move with him thanks to the arm of the couch keeping you in place.
It ensured he always hit the deepest part of you since your body couldn’t shift away, one of your hands on your stomach while the other took his own and placed it on your chest. He began to knead you over your bra, it soon out of the way as he yanked it down and wrapped his mouth around a nipple, his motions speeding up a bit as you tangled your now free hand into his hair. ‘You feel so good,’ you couldn’t stop yourself from saying then, starting to get overstimulated, and at your words he jerked a little erratically, like it’d made him stumble. ‘You- you were so handsome tonight, did so well, I couldn’t stop staring at you…’
He was moaning nonsense into your chest as you praised him, something about what you were saying making him fall apart; his head rested against you as he rutted into you with wild abandon, your hands just holding him there as you kept whispering what he wanted to hear. You meant it, every word, but to know that this much was making him practically whine against you was also addicting, needing him to know everything you felt for him, how proud you were of him, how you’d never be able to feel anyone but him for the rest of your life.
‘Come inside me, make me yours, I want to be yours,’ you pleaded, Jack grasping at you like a drowning man grasps at his saviour, a few more thrusts making your head fall back before he did just that. His hips jutted a few more times as warmth filled your insides, the sensation mixed with his broken gasps bringing you over the edge as well, his nails digging into your flesh where he held you, your hands thoroughly messing up his perfectly styled hair. When he was done he collapsed against you, his weight once again so incredibly nice as he pinned you against the cushions, the leather sticking to your skin and keeping you very much in place.
‘If I’m too heavy-’ he started to say before he shifted and cut himself off with a whine, his attempts to get up thwarted immediately.
‘You’re not,’ you reassured him, your fingers attempting to straighten his hair back into place, a small courtesy for him letting you grab him so hard in the first place. ‘We can just… stay a while.’
‘Do you wanna risk that? I might fall asleep on you like this,’ he asked like it’d be a bad thing; what a gentleman.
‘I think that’d be worth the risk,’ you told him as you kissed his forehead, Jack reaching up to cup your cheek before gathering all his strength to kiss you goodnight.
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rans-baby · 2 years
Text
when they find out you're being bullied
tw // bullying, implied murder, sexual harassment
psa: if you can only send hate on anon, then you have no right to send hate. you are literally choosing to consume the content, why are you acting like writers are holding you hostage and making you read their works? if you don't like it, simply block them or keep your mouth shut ♡
@megumi-divine for you my love
RINDOU
rin loved and supported you in all of your endeavors and knew how much your blog meant to you
so when he woke up to you glaring at your computer like it had personally wronged you, he could take a pretty good guess as to what was going on
"what's got my baby so worked up?"
all you could do was turn back to look at him and silently show him your screen
rin would die for you, kill for you and maybe this seemed like a trivial matter to the rest of the world but it was genuinely bothering you, making it a serious problem for him too
"how about you close that laptop and come back to bed? promise i'll take care of it pretty girl"
dating an executive of the most powerful gang in japan had its perks, and he would take full advantage and go to the ends of the earth to see you smile
HARUCHIYO
you were the light of his life, his princess, HIS
so when you came back with bruises on your arm that looked eerily similar to handprints, he silently beckoned you to sit on his lap and stared into your eyes
"who thought they could damage my property?"
you looked up at him with a wobbly smile and tears in your eyes
"'s nothing, really"
he could never be angry with you, but he did have a bit of a temper when it came to matters than concerned you
"now princess, you know i hate when you lie to me so let's try again, who did this?"
it was like a dam broke and words were pouring out faster than you could keep up with
you explained how there was a guy in your class that wouldn't stop bothering you, asking you on dates, asking you for nudes and when you said that you had a boyfriend, he had gotten mad, really mad
he let you cry in his arms until you fell asleep and he gently laid your body down onto the bed
he put on his jacket and headed out and when you groggily asked him where he was going all he had to say was "i have some business to take care of, you trust me right?"
MANJIRO
now who would mess with his girlfriend? surely there was no one dumb enough out there to do that right? wrong
he noticed that you had been acting a bit odd the past few weeks but you waved him off with a "it's nothing i can't take care of!" and a forced smile
he trusted you, he really did, but he decided enough was enough when he started to notice the bags under your eyes get darker and the light slowly drain from your eyes
deciding to cheer you up, he picked you up from work for a surprise lunch but was instead greeted with the scene of some girls surrounding you in your office, seemingly berating you
he watched as you did nothing to defend yourself from their words
before he knew it, he was grabbing one of the girl's arms and twisting it behind her back, ignoring her cries
your head slowly lifted and you were met with empty eyes
"so this is what you were hiding from me princess?"
the girls all scattered and left the ringleader to take the punishment, thinking they were in the clear
"let me make this abundantly fucking clear, if you ever step foot in this building ever again i can't guarantee the safety of your family and friends. make sure to let those other girls know too"
he released her, watching as she scampered away
"now princess, how about we go get some ice cream!♡"
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hellcatinnc · 9 months
Text
Destined Mr. Almost Right Review
Spoilers Games In Love365 App
Takane Momochi
This dude came off so sweet and in the app he seemed like this genuine dude. The fact that he was the MC's love interest in college made it seem like a reconnection until you realize the MC was practically his puppy doing everything to make him happy and then when it was her time to confess her love to him he shot her down like her feelings didn't even matter. She spent the next 10 years missing him and still remembering she cared so much about him. So when you meet him you go to the airport because he is a pilot and you hang out and talk and he gives you flowers. He seems so sweet and sincere and he tells you how sorry he was for being a kid back then. Honestly I guess my red flag should have gone up with bullshit meter fast because I wasn't even 2 chapters in and he was happy to be with her and wanting to spend his life with her and so on. He pushed every button then took her to the bar to drink after the second date and then he literally tells you since in the app it says your 100% physically matched he wants to sleep with you to find out if thats so.
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When you go to shoot him down he shows how much of a prick he is and even tells you he was just using you to sleep with you. The mc I will admit is ballsy she tells him I will not sleep with you but for the next 30 days or something like that you will want to have sex with me and I won't until you fall in love with me. Honestly I had already spent like 40 hearts on this dude in love365 and was pissing me off cause the ones I used was back when I thought he was nice. So not only did he screw over the mc but me too what a fuckin asshole. Anyways didn't think a character could make my blood boil so fast but I swear he really made me mad as well as the mc. I wouldn't even want him if it was me after the way he acted. Its also why I stopped playing his route to save my hearts for some one worth them. It might turn out he falls in love with her but if they make me mad and I have no interest in them then I won't continue. Its not even like the tsunderes either he is a male chauvinistic pig who wants to sleep with anyone he even tells her he wants her panties until she sleeps with him he is just rude. I'm done wasting my breath on him but I got up to like chapter 10 before I couldn't deal with him anymore because every single date he was just as much as a asshole as the one before it.
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Komuro Satoru/Araya Kuze
Now this guy is the guy that followed mc around in high school even when the mc was so in love with Takane. He would find out things about him for the mc and things he liked. He would pass letters or anything she wanted to help her be with Takane even though he was in love with her the whole time. He thought being her friend until she realized Takane was a asshole was better than not being anything at all. He was sweet and genuine he was also 2 years behind the mc so she went to college with Takane and it was a different college than Araya got into so they were separated. Until this app and they matched at 99% and the moment he realized it was her he was over the moon. They connected right away when they met and I swear this man let nothing stay hidden he admitted he had wanted to see her so bad in the last few years. They had dinner and went back to the bar to drink and just joking about good times together and such. She gets super drunk and they go to leave and she falls but he catches her. They kiss then he confesses he has been in love with her since high school.
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She is so out of it she doesn't pull away from the kiss and she had been treating him all night like he was a kid cause he was younger than her. He tells her when they get to messing around please give me one night, you can do whatever you want to me and I will never thing bad of you, I just want to feel important to you and feel like you see me. They end up back at his place and they have sex and then she wakes up the next morning and freaks out. He apologizes however she makes him feel like he really did something wrong with both of them had been drinking she kinda made me mad with that honestly because he is a sweetheart. Then he continues to apologize and even tells her he takes complete fault for it and he would like it if she would let him make it right. She is kind of like what? But he goes into tell her how he feels, and how things went down and that he thought they were on the same page and how they were connected that night. He then says but give me a chance let me be your boyfriend and then you can take that it was not a one night stand. It was so sweet how he came up with this after expressing how he has always felt.
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He is a lyrist and all his songs over the last 5 years or so has been written about her and no one else. She is his heart, muse, and love of his life she is his destiny. He altered his name just for the app so that no one knew it was him since he is famous. She agrees and its so nice to see him when girls throw themselves at him he shuts them down and makes it very clear she is his only important person. Like omg.... this man is a freakin keeper such a difference from the first guy and to think she knew them at the same time yet chose the pig over this cinnamon roll. One of the sweet things he did was rented out a whole theme park for her and brought her to overlook it then turned on the lights and lit it all up for her. That was like the sweetest yes he has money but as long as he gets to spend it on her he is happy.
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He even tells her that since high school she has been his princess and just wants to do right by her. I was in such awe when he told her he wanted to be with her and he wanted to marry her in the future like how many men just know and the fact he just knew since highschool thats alot of years being in love with one person. There was a bit of drama of a ex fiancé trying to come between them but to show his love he took her to a jewelry store to get her any engagement ring she wanted. So anyways alot of drama came out of things later in the story. It comes back that it was all a lie he set up the app the ex fiancé all of it to make her give him a chance and to fall in love with him. He was afraid she would never give him a chance any other way. Then when he realizes he lied to her and it hurt her he felt like he wasn't worthy of her so he tried to leave her and let her live her life without him because he did love her. I mean in the end she doesn't let him leave that easy and they end up together.
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Honestly I guess in away its a bit of a betrayal and I think he will have to make it up to her because it was like their relationship was built on a lie. However I think their love for each other I think they would be fine. On voltage's side I will say after all the hearts that I paid for that I ate through in this game mostly on this guy it was a bit of a disappointment. His character I love in the end just for a happy ending there are alot better stories than how this one played out. I think if I had a 5 star rating system for this game would be 3 it loses 2 stars because of the fact it almost felt like the pay to play shit and then even after that you don't even get the kind of ending that you really should have.
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Because this is a story that uses hearts I am only reviewing the 2 that interested me enough to pay and then went with the last guy even more so enjoy the review of these to men of destiny.
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jinxytheshippr · 2 years
Text
A Gallo x Reader Oneshot that Perfectly Sums up me and my taste :)
"I don't know, it just --- didn't feel right, you know?" Blake wondered aloud, running a hand through his hair. "Did I do the right thing? Did I mercilessly slash her heart open on a faint remnant of a feeling?" He ran the same hand through his hair, in the same spot. He kept saying the same three questions for a few more seconds before you grabbed his hand and pinned it to the table, giving him a passive-agressive "shut up" look.
"Listen to your heart, think about these feelings a little more --- preferably without words --- and make up your mind. Jessica's nice, right? She will probably give you a second chance. You can't have hurt her that bad?" You said, letting go of his hand to take a sip of your latte.
"Maybe, but I can't shake this feeling, I've told you about it as long as I've known you! You know that none of these girls have been any different," he defended, agitated.
"Maybe take a step away from girls. It worked for me, plus, I heard Darren's looking for a new guy," you joked with a smile, setting your latte back on its coaster.
"What?" He looked befuddled. "I don't think so. But should I? Would that work?"
A nervous Gallo was a talkative Gallo, you had (sadly) learned that very quickly. The funniest thing was, he only blabbered on when something was really bothering him, in his mind.
"I was joking," you contradicted, grabbing his hand again. "You just haven't found the right girl, or bothered to set up a Tinder profile. Give it a sec, you'll find someone."
He pulled his hand away, grabbing a biscotti from the cute painted plate between you, and looked towards the wall of windows to his right, which caused that chemical reaction your body started doing from the moment you met him; taking a mental photo of anything that made Blake look like he should be on the cover of a magazine. (Which was nearly every stupid pose possible, btw)
You sat there, latte in hand, marvelling as the early morning light shone across his dark hair and cheeks, his eyes sparkling as they looked out at the passing taxis and cabs. You grabbed your latte again and focused on that instead, remembering how crazy in love you were with Blake. That was why you used sarcasm instead of actual relationship advice for him, because part of you wanted to love him and him love you back, but the other part was too scared that you would get in trouble for in-house dating or losing a friend.
"The coffee's cute," he said, drawing you back to reality. You stared down at your latte, only then realising the barista had made a little cat on top of it. Unfortunately, your cat looked like the undead from one too many drinks.
"Yeah," you moved your cup in a circle over the coaster, swishing the liquid inside.
"Thanks for taking me here, I really needed it. I think this is my new favorite corner in Chicago."
"Of course," you smiled flirtatiously, but knew Gallo would catch it as a friendly, goofy smile instead. "I work here over the summer, Kathy over there's the one to thank for the cats in the coffee," you motioned for the counter, where Kathy was rearranging the gift cards. Again.
"Cool," he said, turning around to look at her. (for a little longer than you were comfortable with) "Is she single?"
"Yeah, but only for girls with hair as bright as hers," I motioned for another worker with bright pink locks trailing down her shoulders; Becca, the co-owner of the shop and also Kathy's longest lasting crush.
You picked up your cup again and started taking another drink.
"Really?" Blake frowned, then turned back to his latte. "I think I should start a Tinder. Unless you would like to date me, by chance?"
You nearly spat all over the table, but kept it to a weak cough. "Sorry, what?"
"Nothing, just trying sarcasm, I guess," he looked at the wall of windows again, and your mind took another mental photo.
Was that my chance? Did I just mess it up? Your thoughts wandered again as you cleared your throat.
"Crap," Blake said, moving his head to look over his shoulders. "Red alert, that's Jessica."
You turned to look at the girl. You could tell by her general vibe that she was not one for second chances; the claw nails as long as her fingers themselves, the Gucci purse, and the foot-tall heels said that pretty clearly. What had Gallo gotten himself into this time?
"What do we do?" Blake panicked, looking over the other shoulder.
A single movie quote popped into your head, from the movie you watched last night. It was dumb, and could cost a friendship, but it might work.
"Showing affection in public makes people uncomfortable," you start, already feeling your cheeks turn red.
"How do we do that? We gotta act fast, she's getting closer!" He reached out and grabbed your hand. "Will this work?"
Your brain lagged like a Minecraft game at one frame per second, stumbling forward every heartbeat.
"What if we try this?" He requests, still peeking over his shoulder. He turned to face you, his hand letting go of yours and moving to your chin, sending goosebumps up and down everywhere.
"I hope our brains are in the same page," you managed, although already reaching for him.
Then it happened. You kissed, to save Gallo from some encounter with an ex. The context was kinda (super) dumb, but you kissed, and loved it. Heat spread from your head around all parts of your body, and, by the time you broke apart, you knew there was no chance you were waiting any longer to tell him.
"What a rush," he said, still within half a foot of your face. "I think she's gone."
"Mhm," was all you could say, focusing on how to word this right.
"You know, that felt pretty good, maybe we should try dating," he leaned back in his seat, draping one arm over the corner of the back.
"Nice one," you said instinctively, but immediately wanted to take it back.
"No sarcasm this time," he smiled, but you could see a sheen of nervousness hidden beneath his confidence.
You blinked. "Sure," you matched his tone. "Netflix n' chill after next shift?"
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wishbowl · 11 days
Text
i feel like this was important to share
I know i should write because i feel really productive about the future as of late and i know burn out is probably going to be just around the corner if i dont keep writing. So heres me doing that.
Its officially the day after my birthday [the real one] and i feel like there should be something i have to say for it but i really got nothing.
Instead lets talk about boys. So ive been going out to social gatherings [this is so fucking formal i dont know how to stop myself from sounding this way] and because of that ive been meeting people and people also include boys which is basically half the people ive been meeting. Because of this ive also added a few boys into my finsta just because thats secretly but not so secretly also my main. 
I dont know if i have a crush on this one guy or if he just looks good but weve been friends sorta in high school just because our people kinda overlapped but honestly back then i didnt like him as much but as hes gotten older he has also matured in a way where his annoying personality stayed while he became less of a cunt. 
And theres this other guy who ive ran into and i literally couldnt make eye contact with the entire time and one spoke two sentences since i was so flabbergasted. See the last time weve met which was a few months back, i had told his sister [who is my friend] that i had a crush on him in high school. And the thing is while that is true i also never really got over those feelings and when i told her she said her mum had thought that the entire time but she told her i was a lesbian so just on that alone i feel like she definitely told her mum which means he definitely knows and that thought alone was what kept me stupidly glitching the entire night.
Oh and theres this new guy who is actually not a new guy it just also fucking suprisingly happens to be a boy i had a crush on in high school but he was a few years older and he was way too cool. But hey if anything little me had great taste in my taste since all of these guys only seemed to have gotten better over time lol. I feel like he is dating someone or he definitely was but that was again in high school which was a million years ago. I wanted to get his socials but he had gone somewhere and i couldnt be fucked waiting. But lest we meet again eyesspose.
I feel like i should have clarified all of those guys that were previously mentioned i do not want a relationship with lmao IF FUTURE ME THOUGHT THAT GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER  SUCK MY HEAD.
Now do i want to fuck them? The second one is out of the question but i guess that still counts as an overall yes. But do i think they would be a good fuck? Yes, yes i do… Which is maybe why they should just stay in my thoughts since then i can live in that fantasy and not let the real thing ruin that image. That would be annoying for me and my vibrator to have to regroup while i find a new person to replace. 
I will say the first guy, i do gotta watch out for him because with the right things he could totally have me falling for him. Which is insane and dangerous. DANGEROUS.
But i did not realise simply leaving the house could do that to someone. You meet new people and remeet old people. Peopling can be hard but it can be a great look book to look back on right after if you play your cards just right. And by that i definitely mean be on drugs the entire time so you are god and everyone is like in love with you.
Speaking of I am currently on drugs but is weed a drug, its like, is a square really a rectangle?
xoxo
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54years · 2 years
Text
I turned 54 on Sunday and cried.  All day.  Not because I turned 54 - honestly feel pretty good about that.  I cried because I thought I had met a decent guy and he ghosted me.  I should be grateful that this is the first time that has happened in the 5 years I've been dating but I'm not.  I spent the day looking back over texts and replaying our last date to see if there was anything I did or said or any indication at all that I somehow missed.  Nope, nothing.  He was a gentleman right up until he wasn't - wasn't there at all!  First 2 dates he gave me a peck on the cheek.  The first time that happened it took my breathe away - so unexpected and sweet.  I almost didn't know what to make of it.  I sat in my car for a few minutes just taking it in.  Recognizing how respectful and polite he had been all evening.  The second time brought a smile to my face.  He was smart, funny, kind, fit and it seemed we had a lot in common.  Kids around the same age.  Both of us had lost a spouse – he much earlier than me. I caught myself thinking about him throughout the days. We would text here and there all day. It was easy and fun to begin to picture what it might be like to be in his life. Cooking dinner together, laughing and having a glass of wine while we shuffle around each other in the kitchen. It’s the mundane chores that I miss doing with someone.  Weeding and grocery shopping. Making plans for the holiday or putting together the gift lists for the kids.  It’s Tuesday now and I still haven’t heard from him and have no idea what happened.  Well, he did text me Monday morning and said he would call last night if he was home from work in time. He works at a hospital so I guess his schedule could keep him there later.  Not sure because he always had time to text during the day even if he was in the OR. He didn’t call and hasn’t yet.  I’m not surprised and yet I am surprised. When he didn’t return the test early Saturday morning, I sent another one late in the afternoon asking if everything was ok.  He responded a little over an hour later, “Yea, all is good”. Oh, OK.  Gentleman, this would have been the time to say something along the lines of, “I don’t want to lead you on, I’m not feeling it anymore.” Or “I’ve had a shitty day and don’t want to talk”, “I need to slow down”, “I need time”, really anything. Full disclosure, we did only have 4 dates but when your average is 2, 4 says something.  He told me he hadn’t gotten past 1 for a long time.  I’m trying to get past the hurt and confusion and find something positive.  When you’ve experienced a tragedy, you learn this is how you get through the hard days.  Find the positive – there is a positive in every situation. In a weird way, I’m glad I’m hurting.  It means I allowed myself to see a potential future with someone. Don’t get me wrong, it hurts.  It sucks. But its something other than nothing. It’s also one of the few times I haven’t done the ending of something.  I try to put myself out there, meet through dating apps and it doesn’t work out. Mostly, because there are a lot of odd men out there.  Again, I recognize that we weren’t really even “dating” – we had a few dates.  But I liked him so much, still do.  Who knows, maybe something did happen.  I hope not. 
My goal with this blog is to record my 54th year around the sun. Hopefully, there will be some interesting shit that happens.  You will no doubt get back stories when necessary – probably more than what is necessary. Let’s back up so I can truly say I’ve done every day.
Sunday, July 24th – my 54th bday.  My mom decided to send me a text.  Odd, she calls me frequently and she decides to text? My dad doesn’t call either.  I did just talk with him on the 19th – that’s his birthday and I called him.  Both brothers sent texts.  My cousin called and my daughter called.  As I mentioned before, I pretty much cried on and off all day.  How pitiful.  I did some work – I have my own business and work from home.  I watched some episodes of Bridgerton – which probably didn’t help because the very point of the show is to court and find a husband.  Oh, and my son decided to bless me with his presence, and we went swimming for a little over an hour.
Monday, July 25th – I had a morning appointment and then got in 3.5 miles of walking before the heat was too much to bear. Came back home, cried and worked.
Tuesday, July 26th – today. Did Pilates in the morning and then had 2 appointments south of the city. Came back home to start writing reports and had a Rush order come through.  Headed out to do that appointment and back home to write that report. My son is heading back to boarding school in MO tomorrow, so we decided to grab a pizza for dinner. He’s not looking forward to going back.  It’s hard seeing him sad.  This is his fourth and final year there.  I keep reminding him that he’s in a position of leadership now so it will be different. He so wants to stay home but recognizes that graduating from that school will benefit him in the future. I am so proud of him for sticking it out. I miss him when he’s not here. He’s a lot like me so it’s easy with him here. Hopefully, he’s doing laundry.  I’d better go check.
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crazylil-lion · 2 years
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1, 13, 23
1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? 
Good morning beautiful. I got nothing but love for the 2 or 3 people that occasionally talk to me. I don't have many friends. I don't have many people that truly consider my feelings and how I am. So I tvink its extremely important to value those things and make them feel appreciated. As long as its not onesided.
13. Do you think relationships are hard?
Yes. I think all relationships require work on both parts. Both people need to put continuous effort to make the other feel wanted and show their interest in the other. Relationships take constant work but its worth it relationships can be hard there will be rough patches and things you have to learn about each other. I think alot of people get comfortable and stop putting effort in to making their partner feel loved wanted and so on. Personally I would give the one I love the world. Help push them toward their dreams and goals be the number 1 supporter. That being said I find most people put the bare minimum and expect you to put in all the work while getting no effort in return. People overlook me cause I'm young or cause I'm not cute but they don't realize I wouldn't wanna be with someone so shallow they focus on looks before personality. Maybe thats why I'm alone maybe I've come to realize having standards means its that much harder to find a real relationship. But I'm over wasting my time with someone that treats me as unimportant. Or gets angry everytime you disagree. Guess what you can disagree and still be civil still get along. At the end of the day while I want to worship someone if they don't appreciate me and do their part I'd never be with them. My submission is mine to give and there are alot of fake doms that hit up dms expecting to use and abuse slaves while never giving a shit. You know I feel most submissive men feel obligated to be into degrading and humiliating stuff as its what male subs are treated as in society. The whole if you like feminine things your a sissy. Or the whole cucking thing. To each their own and I'm not hating on peoples kinks. But I feel these things are pushed onto us as its all you see. But its just extremely damaging if not in the right context. While I would do super fucked up things to please my dom because its hot doing things I wouldn't do for their pleasure its also something I've realized stems from the toxicity I'm constantly met with as a male presenting sub. Sorry I know off topic but a D/s relationship requires more work then a vanilla one when you can severely damage someone mentally you have to be careful and more responsible theres simply more work on top of the normal relationship.
23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?
Yes theres a few people my mother. Some people I meet. Really anyone committed to being toxic and selfish. I don't like people that go out of their way to be rude and mean for no reason. The girls that are obsessed with everyone paying them or all they care about is how much money someone has and they bend and change to what they think that person wants. Its disgusting to see these awful people use and manipulate people. Now to be clear I am not hating on sex work. But for example as a guy you go on any dating website not tinder or any of the hook up apps but real dating sites and its 90% women looking for people to buy things for them. I don't care if they do but they shouldn't feel so entitled to it that they go on dating apps people use to find relationships. Obviously this isnt gender specific there are just as many awful toxic men out there that only look to sleep with as many women as they can. But its not talked about the experience as a male presenting person its like with male abuse victims. You know how many times I've been told by women my trauma isn't valid or I should just get over it because I'm a "male" and my abuser was female. I hear that shit constantly and no one talks about how as a male you call the cops on your partner hitting you absuing you. The MALE IS THE ONE TO BE ARRESTED NO MATTER THE PROOF OR THAT HE CALLED THEM. Or child custody cases the court 99% of the time gives to the women and this has real life ramifications that no one fucking talks about. Why? Because if you complain if you bring up abuse you are treated even worse. Because men don't receive the same type of care and emotional support they grow up being constantly told to man up. That if you express your emotions no one will love you. I cannot stand anyone that says male abuse victims aren't the same as female abuse victims. Sexual assault on males IS NOT TAKEN SERIOUSLY REGARDLESS OF PROOF. You know how many statistics are fucked because men are told their trauma their issues aren't important to talk about. Males have a higher suicide rate and its because of the lack of awareness on issues that effect everyone no matter the gender. And I speak most of this from my personal experience as well as 50-60 other victims I have talked to that will never bring it up in anywhere else because of how you are treated. There was a video awhile back that showed the difference between women domestic abuse and male domestic abuse. When it was a male aggressor people stepped in to help people called the police when it was a female beating on a male? They pointed and laughed females included no one did a thing and this is a sad truth most people refuse to accept. Again sorry for the rant but this is a topic I'm passionate about. Just like the ignorant people that wanted abortions banned absolutely fucking disgusting and it makes me hate humanity as a whole even more. How is it we've allowed the country to come to this is beyond me I don't feel like we are growing and moving forward only taking steps backwards when we should know better.
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bbybaku · 3 years
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cranky no nut november boyfriend shigaraki
yes i know its july. 
1.8 k words 
slow burn but there is smut 
warnings: angry shig, humiliation, degrading, oral (fem recieving), use of vibrator, shoes on bed, angst, fluff, mentions of masturbtion
your boyfriend, tomura shigaraki, had made a bet with his friends, about who could last the longest during no nut november.
you thought a month wouldn’t be that bad, right? you guys could handle it.
the first few days were nothing. you two were busy and didnt think that much of it. 
but the first weekend shiggy had invited you over to watch a movie. which was usually code for “let’s fuck”
you went over to his apartment, about 20 minutes into the movie you slipped your hand under the blanket, feeling around for his cock.
“hey” he said softly but irritated as he picked up your hand and moved it.
“what? we always-“ you asked
“i’m taking this month seriously, i can eat you out or something but we cant, you cant” he said
 you were not expecting him to take it this seriously.
you knew your boyfriend he never took anything seriously? why did he have to take this stupid month seriously.
“well, do you want?” he asked as he ran his fingers over your clothed clit.
“no let’s just hang out tonight” you said.
“okay” he said then kissed you on the head and pulled you into his lap.
you could feel his erection. but you knew you had to ignore it. 
week 2 was easy because shigaraki was out of town for a work trip.
you didn’t know how he was doing it. no sex was one thing, but not even masturbating?
you had been touching yourself every day to the thought of him, the pictures you had of him and sometimes 
the movies you had made together.
the night he got back he came straight to your apartment.
he looked pale.
you went in for a hug, but he pushed you away.
“no” he snapped “ i just wanted to see you”
you gulped “oh okay”
you cooked dinner and he told you about the trip.
the space between your thighs ached the entire evening.
you asked him to stay the night but he said he no.
and he left. 
it was day 15. you needed him. your hand could only do so much. you couldnt do what he could do. he knew your body better than you did. 
you texted him to hang out. 
the two of you got coffee then made out in the car. 
his mouth tasted so good. your body presses against the console, arms around his neck. the kiss starting equal but he very quickly shoved his tongue in your mouth. he took your jaw in his hand and held your face while his tongue circled yours. you sucked on his bottom lip. his hand found your tit. your hand found his crotch. 
shigaraki instantly pulled away, he was pissed “how many fucking times do i have to tell you no?” 
you sighed “im sorry i just-” 
he pushed his hair out of his face and took your jaw in his hand again. “look at me. i want to be inside of you so bad. i think about you all the time. i love you so much but we just cant right now.”
 his tone made you want him even more. it was embarrassing how hot you got  when he was irritated. and he knew it. 
“i hate this stupid challenge” you said through his grip on your jaw. 
“do you want to be like that?”  he talked down to you with a smirk.
“we can always go back to my apartment, and work on your attitude” he said letting go of your face and grabbing the gear shift. 
you had soaked through your panties a while ago. you were excited but knew you wouldnt be filled up the way you wanted to be. 
the drive to shiggys apartment was agonizing. the sexual tension was higher now than it was on your first date. it felt like you were getting stopped at every red light, the car in front of you was always going slow. and both of you were sweating. 
he had one hand rubbing your thigh and the other on the steering wheel, except at stops when he would run it through his shaggy hair. when he finally got to his apartment complex the two of you practically sprinted inside. 
“elevator?” you asked pressing the up button repeatedly. 
he took his hands out of his pockets and said “stairs” 
the two of you raced up to the fourth floor, you beat him but just barely. once both of you were in the hallway he picked you up and slung you over his shoulder.
once in his apartment he didnt even turn the lights on, he took you to his bed and threw you on it. 
he stood over you and sighed. “its your lucky day” he then pushed you up to the headboard and pulled off your panties. so eager, you were both still wearing shoes and the window was open. 
you shivered at the cold air on your exposed heat. 
shigaraki just stared for a minute. he loved vulnerability. 
he loved having you at his mercy. 
he pushed your skirt up and grabbed onto your thighs. 
“i knew you would be soaked.” he shook his head “such a whore” he said.
and just like that he dove right in.  
he licked up your folds and you bucked your hips to meet him. 
his grip on your thighs tightened and he pushed you into the bed.
“dont move” he met your eyes when he said it.
he started sucking hickies on your inner thighs, his fingers teasing at your clit. 
you held his head in your hands, not directing him, but rubbing his scalp. 
he occasionally hummed into your thighs at the feeling. 
he pulled off of your inner thigh and brought his mouth and nose to your entrance. you whimpered, expecting him to relieve your ache. 
he blew cold air on your exposed heat. 
you cried out. 
and shigaraki crawled up to meet you at eye level. 
he straddled you and leaned down “beg.” he whispered 
“please” you whispered
“i dont get anything for this. why should i be nice if i dont get the reward of your tight little pussy? or getting to fuck your pretty face. make it worth my while. give me this one little thing.  i said to beg like the whore you are.” 
you gulped. “please tomura. i touch myself to the thought of you every day and nothing satisfies me like you do. i just want you. i want you to fill me up and please let me come. please sir.” 
“hmm okay, i guess but its embarrassing that you touch yourself so much, you really are a whore.” he said as he repositioned his mouth at your entrance. 
he once again pinned your hips to the bed and brough his mouth to your entrance.
his long slender fingers ran through your folds a few times before stopping at your clit and rubbing circles. 
you moaned in pleasure, finally. shigaraki was relieving your ache. 
he sucked on your entrance and drank your juice like it was water from the tap. you could feel his tongue at your entrance, he tease then run his tongue through your folds. 
your entire body was shaking and the knot in your stomach was about to release. 
“please i - can i please” you whined. 
shikaraki hummed yes into you, his grip on your thighs tightening 
the hum was what sent your over the edge, your walls tightening and releasing around shigarakis mouth. 
he pulled off for a moment and looked at you “that was fast. youre so easy, y/n, you know that?” 
and at that he went right back to what he was doing, only this time it was his finger. at your entrace and his tongue on your clit. 
his tongue going all around and eventually stopping and making out with your bud. 
you were crying at the pleasure. 
his long fingers going in and out, and in and out. at no particular speed or regularity and occasionally stoping to curl inside you. 
your hands went to shiggys hair, but you couldnt control yourself the way you had earlier. your hands were shaking as the held onto his head.
you came again, it was so fast you didn’t even have the time to ask.
you could feel him smiling on you.
shigaraki pinched your thigh, acknowledging your high, but showed no sign of stopping.
he maneuvered a little bit, grabbing something under the bed while still fingering you. 
if you thought you were a mess before, you were wrong. because you were even more of a mess when shigaraki started rubbing around your clit with a vibrator. 
your back arched and you grabbed onto the sheets, so as not to pull on shiggys hair, “pleASE. m-gonna c--um” you barely got out. 
your lower body convulsing. 
tears started streaming down your face, it hurt so good. “dont cum yet, baby. i want you to wait this time. like i have to wait.” 
“no-oh-oh-o” you sobbed 
shigaraki mustve been getting irritated because his grip on you tightened, and he pinched your inner thigh. 
“please” you whimpered, running your fingers through his hair as gently as you could. 
“no” he said sweetly. 
your vision was starting to blur and you were still crying, “isnt this what you wanted darling?” shigaraki asked. 
you only sobbed in response, you were loosing the ability to form coherent sentences. 
the knot in your stomach released without warning, and you came on shigaraki’s vibrator. 
with that he sighed and stood up, going to the bathroom to help you clean up. 
despite your scattered brain, you knew your boyfriend well enough to know that he was in agony. 
“does it hurt?” you asked him between deep breaths. 
refering to how bad he wanted you, and how hard he was in his pants. 
he waled back in with a towel and said “yes” looking down at the ground. 
“well what if we” you started. 
“no, im tired of having to explain this to you.”
“please, i just want you so bad” you begged as he climbed on top pf you.
“i said no! just fucking shut up” he snapped
“why?" you whinned
he found your wrists and pinned your hands beside your head on the bed. 
“everyone gets a different penalty. do you know what mine is if i fail? huh? do you want to know”
"um i-” 
you went to speak but no words came out. 
shigaraki leaned down “my penalty is to send the group chat a video of us having sex” 
“oh” you said feeling yourself blush
he gulped and looked away “which i really dont want to do because you are mine.”
he released your wrists and fell on top of you, “youre all mine” 
“please just wait 2 more weeks” he whispered into your neck. 
masterlist
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luminnara · 3 years
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Nesting | alpha!kiribaku x omega!reader fluff
Something soft and fluffy w a/b/o dynamics w kiribaku? Or just one of them if you don’t do poly things
Oh ho ho, don’t you worry I LOVE poly things! I especially love kiribaku x reader because like, how can you NOT lol
I made this super sweet and nice because I crave that feel good fluff! This is SFW but there’s a little mention of some adult stuff. Nothing past that though!
Requests are open!
Warnings: none
Gender neutral reader
Having two alphas wasn’t typical, at least not as far as you knew. Yeah, you were sure that there were all kinds of people and arrangements out there, but you had never really heard of alphas being willing to share an omega. Most of the time, they just got too possessive; when alphas went into ruts or omegas into heats, the pheromones being pumped into the air were sometimes strong enough to ruin entire friendships.
Not for you, though.
When the three of you became a thing, there was no drama. There was no fighting between the two boys, no conflict. You hadn’t really set out to date both of them, but, well...one thing led to another, and next thing you knew, you were all living in an apartment together, and you had two big mating marks on your neck.
It all happened so naturally. It was almost as if the three of you were fated to be together, or something. Yeah, you had your disagreements—Katsuki’s temper was infamous, and Eijiro could almost be too nice sometimes—but what relationship didn’t have a few spats here and there? Your fights never lasted long, and all in all, you were happier than you ever thought possible.
“I’m home!” Eijiro’s voice called, followed by the sound of the door closing.
But of course you already knew. You could smell him the second he walked in, and you were already up and running towards him.
“Whoa, hey!” He laughed as you launched yourself at him, catching you easily and grinning that shark grin of his. “Miss me or somethin’?”
“I always do,” you smiled, hooking your arms around his neck.
His hands settled on your butt as he held you, and he nuzzled into your neck. Both alphas always wanted to be covered in your scent, but Kirishima especially loved it, constantly shoving his nose against the glands and sometimes rubbing his entire head over them. He once told you that he liked being able to smell you on him even when you weren’t around, and the thought of him strutting around at the agency, absolutely reeking of you, made you blush whenever it crossed your mind.
“Is Katsuki home yet?” He asked, walking you down the entry hall and into the living room.
“No,” you sighed. “I think he’s working late tonight...”
You tried not to let your disappointment sound in your voice, but it was impossible to hide anything from Eijiro. He knew how stressful it could be, with both him and Katsuki working as some of the top pro heroes in the city. There were plenty of days where they both came home late, too tired to do anything other than drag themselves into bed and curl up around you. It had a tendency to leave you feeling dejected and alone, and lately, you had taken up a new hobby to try to distract yourself.
Well...hobby was a loose word. It was more just...something you had found yourself with the sudden urge to do, and tonight, the fruits of your labor were finally ready to be revealed.
When Kirishima stepped into the living room, he stopped, and you knew he had seen it.
“Hey, is that...?” He asked, voice trailing off as he stared.
You wiggled out of his arms, beaming up at him as soon as you were standing on your own. “A nest? Sure is!”
The look on your boyfriend’s face was priceless. His eyes were wide, like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. The living room floor was covered in blankets and pillows, all strategically piled up to form the best, coziest nest you could make. As Kirishima took a step closer, he spotted a few of his shirts and hoodies mixed in, a grin finding its way onto his face.
“Babe,” he finally spoke up, his voice soft, “are you really nesting?”
A small blush crept to your cheeks as you nodded, suddenly feeling shy. “Yeah, I guess so...I dunno where it came from really, I just started getting the urge to make it...”
Suddenly, he swept you up into his arms again, a loud, humming purr vibrating in his chest as he gave you a squeeze with those strong arms of his. “It looks amazing, baby.”
You sighed happily, relaxing against him. “Do...do you wanna come try it out with me?”
He almost dropped you again in shock. “H-huh?”
“Yeah!” you freed yourself from his grip once more and grabbed his hand, giving him a tug. 
“Y-you trust me enough...?” his face was adorably surprised, eyes wide as he let you pull him towards your nest.
“Well yeah, duh!” you plopped down in the center of all the blankets and clothes, smiling up at him as he stood over you. “Of course I trust you...you and Katsuki are the best alphas anyone could ask for. Why do you think I felt safe enough to even make a nest?”
You could swear you saw some tears welling up in his eyes, but he quickly wiped them away. “Fuck, I love you so much...”
“Then c’mere, silly,” you laughed lightly, patting the space next to you. 
He finally obliged, hunkering down and sighing happily as he surrounded himself with your scent. The nest was cozy, but big enough for three, and as you waited for Katsuki to get home, you found yourself chattering to Eijiro about exactly how it was made, what shirts you had snagged from his and Katsuki’s drawers, why you had piled up those pillows over there and those way over there, why every single plush in the apartment was strategically placed on top of everything else, and why he kept finding more and more of his belongings buried amongst the blankets. 
“Babe, this is mine,” he said, holding up an old, fraying wallet. 
“Yes, and?” you snatched it out of his hand, tucking it back in its spot. “You never use it. And it smells just like you.”
He chuckled, putting an arm around you and pulling you up against his chest while he continued to explore the nest. “Still can’t believe you went and did all this so quickly. You must have been working nonstop all day.”
You puffed up proudly, but before you had the chance to reply, you heard the door slam open and the sound of heavy boots stomping in. A warm, smoky-cinnamon smell wafted in, and you trilled happily. Katsuki was finally back home, and as you stood up on your knees, you saw him kicking his shoes off and hanging his coat up by the door. 
“Oy, I’m home,” he called tiredly, too busy putting on his house slippers to glance over at you yet. “Shitty hair, where are you? You make it back alive today?”
“Still in one piece, Katsuki,” Kirishima laughed, leaning back on his hand as you shot out of your nest to greet your other alpha.
“That’s something, I guess.” Bakugou grunted, turning towards the kitchen. He was moving slowly, like all of his muscles ached and he just wanted to go to bed. 
You weren’t about to let him, though. Not yet.
“Katsukiiiiiii,” you called, scrambling up onto the couch to get a better look at him. 
“Hey there, kitten.” he tossed his bag down in its usual place at the table, finally looking up at you. 
You saw his usually harsh gaze soften as his red eyes met yours, something close to the beginning of a smile tugging at the edges of his lips. Katsuki was a rough guy, always grumpy even while he was out there being one of the best heroes in the city, but at home, he was quieter. Home was a safe place for him, and even though he was still a handful, he was your handful, and you wouldn’t trade him for the world...although right now, you were starting to get irritated by the fact that he had yet to see the nest you worked so hard on.
“What’re you two losers doin’ down there?” he asked, walking towards you lazily. “Fuckin’ on the living room floor, without me?”
“Katsuki, come on.” you rolled your eyes. 
“What? It’s a valid question.” he said as he finally reached you, placing his hands over yours where they rested on the back of the couch. He closed his eyes, tilting his head up for you in an open invitation. “Miss me today?”
You nuzzled up against his chin, feeling him relax around you as you pumped out a happy, pheromone-filled scent for him. “Why don’t you take a look at what I spent all day doing, and then you tell me?”
He sighed, grumbling something under his breath as he cracked his eyes open. Then, he fell absolutely still, and when you pulled back and looked up at him, you saw that he was staring, eyes wide in disbelief. He had frozen completely, as if he had absolutely no idea how to process what he was seeing.
“Like it?” you asked, following his gaze back to your nest. 
Kirishima was still sitting in the center of it, resting one arm on his knee while he supported his weight on the other. There was a gentle, lazy smile on his face, and as he saw that Bakugou wasn’t moving, he tossed his head. “Katsuki, come see what our little omega worked so hard on.”
“Yeah, Katsuki.” you hopped off the couch, walking around the end of it to take his hand and drag him towards your nest. “Come join us.”
He let you pull him down, and for a moment, all he could do was take a deep breath and inhale the scents of his two mates. Ever so slowly, his face relaxed, and as the three of you snuggled in, he pulled you close and pressed a kiss against your forehead.
“What do you think?” you asked, getting cozy between your two boys.
“It’s fucking perfect, baby.” he said. “You’re fucking perfect.”
“Guess we’re not too bad at this whole alpha thing after all, huh?” Kirishima asked, leaning forward to greet Bakugou with a light kiss. 
“Never said we were.” Katsuki huffed, bristling for a moment before he calmed down. “Still...there are some alphas who never get to see their omega’s nest, let alone be invited in. I guess...you must feel pretty safe with us.”
“I do!” you chirped, grabbing a blanket and pulling it over yourself. “I’m happy. Well...I made this nest because I was getting so lonely during the day, and I wanted to be able to smell you guys while you were gone...”
The boys frowned at each other. 
“...but just making it made me feel better.”
You heard Katsuki sigh in relief as Eijiro gently headbutted you. 
“We have been working a lot lately...” he said quietly. 
“So we’ll change that,” Katsuki said roughly. “Our omega comes before anything. If you aren’t happy, what’s the point?”
You couldn’t help the wide smile on your face as you tugged them both down for a kiss, one by one. You spent the rest of the evening cuddled up in your nest, falling asleep on top of your boys, happy to finally, finally be getting the quality time you had been missing so much lately.
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salemwritesxx · 3 years
Text
𝓯𝓪𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝔂𝓸𝓾.
𝕋 𝕒 𝕜 𝕒 𝕞 𝕚  𝕂 𝕖 𝕚 𝕘 𝕠  |  ℍ 𝕒 𝕨 𝕜 𝕤
     ⇴ male reader [22, chubby, 194cm]      ⇴ all characters are depicted as [18]+
↳ summary: [Your.name] is a chubby and tall man, someone who definitely didn’t fit Japan’s beauty standards. Safe to say, he wasn’t the most confident. However, during one group date, it finally all changes when he meets someone who is certainly very interested in him.
↣ rating: general audiences ↣ warnings: modern AU; self-deprecation; chubby, tall reader; reader’s “friends” being assholes to chubby reader; hawks and reader have a happy end tho; hawks is a simp for reader from the first minute on, ok?
part 2.
。☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆。
“Come with us, they said. It will be fun, they said.”, you mumbled to yourself as you stood there. Awkward. Alone. Ignored. Too afraid the tiny bar stools would collapse underneath your big ass, hence why you chose to rather stand than sit.
Why did you let yourself get dragged into this group date? You wanted to say no in the beginning, but with your friends pestering you, you kind of agreed in the end. Though now, you knew all too well why you didn’t want to come.
As a chubby and very tall man, you weren’t the type that people, or rather, gay men, drooled over. At least you hadn’t had anyone show interest in you like that. Maybe it was because you were rather shy and thus not as loud as many of your fellow male friends, or you were the “wrong chubby”. Whatever it was, you were not attractive. Society made sure to tell you that at least once a day and sometimes those nice and kind people, not, were even going out of their way to tell you what a nuisance your were with your tall, fat ass taking up space. And in Japan, where everything was not really built to accommodate people like you, it was sometimes very hard to fit into things.
While you were sighing to yourself for the nth time and making sure to put yourself down as much as you could, you certainly didn’t realize how someone was always glancing at you. Hawks was one of the four gay men you and your friends had met today for said group date. Ever since he saw you, he had the urge to talk to you and get to know you. You were so tall and handsome and t h i c k. You could probably swing him around and break him like a toothpick. Just thinking about it made him grin.
However, it almost seemed like you had a shield around you he just couldn’t break through. He could guess why. Not only once had he seen people bullying the ones that didn’t fit the norm. Too fat, too skinny, too small, too tall – there was no end. People always found reasons to put others down. With how you stood there all alone, trying to make yourself as small as possible, Kei understood you tried to hide and you were uncomfortable. Even though you literally had nothing to hide. God, he wished he had met you sooner.
“Oiii Ta-ka-mi-san!”, his thoughts were rudely interrupted.
“What are you staring at Takami-san?”, then one of your friends, who was obviously interested in him, looked in the direction as well.
“Ah. [Your.name], huh? He’s like a car accident, right? You don’t wanna look but you also can’t really look away.”, your ‘friend’ laughed and Kei could have not been more disgusted by that behavior.
“God I wish I could just punch you, you fucking idiot!”, Keigo thought, furious and having to gulp down the anger.
Thus, he just smiled a little before he silently stood up to walk over to you, ignoring the calling of your ‘friend’. Instead, he got all nervous all of a sudden. Normally, he was the one being confessed to, not the one confessing or even initiating a conversation. Takami was used to people fawning over him, he was a rather successful model after all, hence why it was so hard to find someone who wasn’t just interested in him sexually or because of his money. And it did not help one bit that he found you so unbelievably attractive as well, his nervousness was at its peak.
“Hey. You’re… [Your.name], right?”, he tried to sound very casual as he leaned against the bar beside you. AND MY GOD, he was so tiny compared to you. He loved it. The way he had to look up so much.
You were rather surprised to get attention, especially from someone like Hawks. Like, he was so out of your league it was ridiculous to even think he would even BREATH besides you – yet there he was. Talking to you-
Oh. You knew what he wanted.
“Okay, look, let’s just skip all that polite small talk, the little laughs so we don’t feel awkward before you drop the question. Just tell me, which number do you want? Or should I just give you all three?”, you immediately cut to the chase. It had never been any different, so why would it be today? Especially when someone so sexy and pretty talked to you? Obviously he wanted someone from your much more handsome and well-trained friends.
Hawks was, however, rather surprised that THIS was your initial reaction to him talking to you. Though he could have not known how hard it would truly be to get to know you or get your number.
“Uhm… To be honest, your number alone would be quite sufficient.”, Keigo played it smooth. A handsome smile on his lips covered up his own nervousness – was he about to get rejected?
For a few seconds you stared at him, completely flabbergasted. Then you turned around and looked around… and looked around… and looked around some more until he finally asked, “Everything okay? You looking for an escape route?”
Keigo chuckled at the end, though he was not as calm as he pretended to be.
“No, I just…”, you then turned to him again, your brows furrowed, “… You can stop now, you know? Like, are you trying to prank me or…? Cameras anywhere? Like haha we got the fat guy. Look at him getting all flustered finally getting attention. Hahaha funny.”
At the end, you almost sounded a little angry, before you grabbed your drink and walked away from the bar. Saying Hawks was confused was an understatement. He just watched you for a moment as you walked away and squeezed into a lonely corner. God… How many people must have put you down for you to think he was pranking you?
“This is going to be more difficult than I thought.”
Running his hand through his hair, Kei had to calm down for a moment and reevaluate. Did you reject him because you genuinely weren’t interest or because you were self-conscious? Probably the latter. So… should he try again? Fuck yeah. As if he was going to give up so easily. He just needed you to know he really wasn’t pranking you, the rest… was up to Future-Keigo.
Clearing his throat and taking his drink, he then walked over to your corner. Standing in front of you he was so  s m o l. It would probably feel great hugging you.
“Okay that was rough. Listen, I really don’t wanna prank you or anything. Just… get to know you… ya know?”, this time he genuinely smiled a little, hoping you wouldn’t just reject him again.
Raising one brow, you were still rather suspicious. AS IF someone like Keigo would want to get to know you. Something was not right, you could feel it in every fiber of your big, chubby body. Then again.. maybe the only thing that you felt was the insecurities that held you back from getting to know someone who might genuinely be interested in you.
So, you gave yourself a little push.
“Yeah… I guess… I’m not really used to…. You know, how about we just start over?”
Keigo thought he had finally cracked you, giving himself a mental high five for being persistent. Thus, with a small smile he nodded and reached out his hand.
“Sure, nice to meet you, I’m Takami Keigo.”
“I’m [Your.name], nice to meet you.”, you finally smiled a little as well. Oof, his heart just jumped. Why was he so smitten already? He literally just met you. Keigo definitely wanted to get to know you more.
“So, how about we go take a seat over there? I could do with another drink.”, he said while pointing in the direction of a free table.
For a moment, you hesitated, though after a few seconds, you nodded, “Yeah, sounds nice.”
-
Without realizing it, hours went by as you and Hawks sometimes were the loudest ones laughing. Your friends just glancing over every so often, obviously jealous you had gotten the most handsome men of all of them today. But for the first time, you didn’t care what other’s thought as you and Kei just had … a connection.
Hence why, when he glanced down to his watch and sighed, you felt a little sad.
“I wish this night wouldn’t end. But I have a model job tomorrow and I only was a backup for someone so I didn’t even intend to have so much fun today. Time sure flies with you, [Your.name].”, he gave you one of his best smiles that made your throat dry and your knees weak.
“I… really enjoyed myself, too. Thank you. And sorry for acting like that in the beginning.”, you smiled apologetically and a little flustered. He found it very endearing.
“That’s fine, don’t worry about it. Well…”, he then looked at his phone and stood up, “It’s 2 a.m. definitely missed the last train. I’m gonna make a quick call for a taxi.”
“Hm.”, you nodded and watched for a second as he went outside where it was a little quieter to call.
Looking between Hawks and your friends who were still partying with Keigo’s friend group, you wondered if you should bring him home. You were the driver, but… how often had your friends disappeared with someone without telling you? How often did you leave a party all by yourself? It was time to be a little selfish today.
So, you hastily stood up and walked outside the bar, watching as Keigo typed on his phone, ready to call.
“Uhm, Takami-san?”, you interrupted him.
“Hm?”, he was a little surprised.
“If you want.. I can drive you home. I brought my own car since I was planning on leaving earlier too and I only drank one cocktail right in the beginning and the rest was alcohol free stuff so… if you want?”, your voice became a little smaller by the end, not knowing if you were too eager. Was this okay?
“Really? That’s not a problem?”
“No! Not at all.”, you reassured him.
“That’s great! I only live like 20 minutes away if we take the car. Ahhh, you’re a life saver, [Your.name]! Thank you.”, Keigo beamed.
And so, you hopped into your car, the only place big enough for you, at least that’s what it felt like since you invested in a nice big one. Keigo was quite cute how he sat there in the big seat, being so small.
The drive to Hawks’ home was also filled with chatter and laughter, once again reassuring you both that you definitely had some sort of connection. And since he had been attracted to you before, it only gave him more reasons that he wanted to meet you again. Man… this could be the first time a group date turned out successfully – for the both of you!
When you parked in front of his apartment complex, Takami didn’t even want to go yet. Wishing that time would just stop, he sat there for a few seconds before turning to you.
“Thank you, [Your.name].”
“No problem, really!”
“You know, if it wasn’t that late I would have invited you to a coffee or another drink or something but alas…”
“It’s quite late…”, you almost said a little… saddened?
“Hm… It is… I’ll call you!” Hawks then said with a little bit of a grin, since you had exchanged phone numbers before.
“O-Okay.”, you didn’t know why you stuttered, it was just… really new.
“Oh, but you can call me too, yeah? Don’t be shy. Well, anyways.”, he jumped out of the car, turned one last time to grin at you, his golden eyes sparkling a little, making you even more flustered.
“Have a safe drive home and have a good night, [Your.name]!”
“Ah, you too, Takami-san!”
Then, you just watched as he walked up to his apartment complex. You didn’t know what suddenly got into you when you opened the door and jumped out, calling for him.
“Takami-san?!”, it was literally two in the morning, his poor neighbors.
Though Hawks immediately turned his head.
“I… really, really enjoyed myself today. Just… thank you.”
Oh my God, you were so cute. Such a gentle giant teddy bear, that’s what you were. Without thinking about it, Keigo rushed back, catching you a little off guard when he walked around the car.
“You know, I might be a little drunk, but fucking God – I want to kiss you SO. BAD. right now.”, Kei said without hold back. His golden eyes gleaming in the dark and his cheeks flushed, you didn’t know if it was because of the alcohol or if he was blushing.
You, on the other hand, were very flustered, yet you barely whispered, “Maybe you should…”
Which only made Hawks giggle and raise his arms. An almost… seductive grin on his lips.
“Then you should help me out a little here, Handsome!”
Was he a bit drunk? Possibly. Was he overly flirtatious because he truly liked your personality and found you attractive and DEFINITELY wanted to meet you again?... Probably. But someone as straight-forward as Hawks was exactly who you needed because of your tendencies to overthink everything. Especially when it came to your weight and thus attractiveness. (Even though the one didn’t have anything to do with the other though not when it came to society.)  
And so, you accommodated him by leaning down. Takami himself standing on his tiptoes, thus, after he had hoped all night long, his lips finally met yours. His small arms wrapped around your big, broad shoulders and your big hand was placed on his lower back. That’s what he had wanted. And it really happened. To say Keigo was quite euphoric was an understatement. He was ecstatic, overjoyed, jubilant and so much more – and that from a little kiss. He surely fell quick and hard. Something he had never experienced before.
After a few moments of pure delight, you were the first to pull back, just to watch Kei bite his lip in such a sexy way it took all of your control to not grab him and pin him onto your car’s hood.
“Thank you.”, he just whispered, still with that grin on his lips, “I really enjoyed myself, too.”
Then, he let go and you did as well, this time really just watching when he turned around and walked into the apartment complex with one last wave. So you got back into your car as well, the last minutes replaying in your head over and over again.
With your hand covering your face, you had to hide your stupid, big grin. If all of that was just a dream, you didn’t want to wake up. Someone found YOU attractive. You had deemed yourself the most unattractive, undatable guy and that only because society had always told you that. But he didn’t care. He liked your “undatable, unattractive” body just the way it was. And not only that, after a rough start, you got along so well. You loved his little laughs, his beautiful eyes and those soft lips-
“God I have never felt like that before, what the fuuuck??”, you mumbled to yourself, still in disbelief that night even happened.
But as you drove away, you heard a little noise that came from your phone and as you looked up, you quickly scanned the text before looking back onto the streets – a wide smirk spreading across your face.
The message read.
“txet me wehn yruoe home so i konw yuore hmoe safe!”
。☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆。
@salemwritesxx || do not repost, edit, modify or translate my works
⇻ salem.talks: let’s appreciate all shapes and sizes. being a short and rather stumpy man myself, ive been struggling a little with how i view myself ever since my relationship ended. ive been casually looking on apps but i think I am not ready for another relationship yet since my last one was rather messy. anyways. I know you shouldn’t rely on others to feel validated and loved but loving yourself is hard, bro so… yeah, its nice being desired for once, no? also this kinda makes me wanna write a part two but eh we’ll see!
part 2.
466 notes · View notes
flareish · 3 years
Text
Sister Takeover
bokuto x fem!reader
summary: With bokuto practicing so much for an upcoming game he hasn’t had much time for date nights. Bokuto’s two older sisters are in town and you end up having a girls night. 
genre: fluff
word count: 1.2k
warning: suggestive comments, kisses
a/n : I just found out that according to the haikyuu wiki and other sources Bokuto has two older sisters. How could I not write about it
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The volleyball season was right around the corner which means Bokuto is working harder than ever. However, it also means that you barely get to see him. Its strange going from being attached by the hip to not seeing him for an entire week. You were walking past Bokuto’s house, which was on the way to yours, when you saw his bedroom light was on. Strange since you thought he was still in practice. You decided to knock on the door. The door swung open and a girl answered. She looked really familiar but you couldn’t quite place her.
“Hi, I was wondering if Bokuto was home.” You ask her. She gasps.
“No way! Your Bo’s girl,” She yells back into the house, “You’ll never guess who is here, get down here!” You have no idea what is happening at this point.
“Come in,” She lets you and closes the door behind you, “I’ve heard so much about you.”
Another girl comes from downstairs. 
“Look its Bo’s girlfriend! Isn’t she adorable.” The second girl gasps just as loud as the first. She rushes over and gives you a big hug. They are both pretty tall, and insanely pretty. You can see where Bokuto gets his height from. 
“We’ve been dying to meet you but Bo thought we’d scare you off.” One of them explains. 
“It’s lovely to meet you,” You say politely, you were mentally prepared to meet more of his family, “Bokuto has told me about you guys as well.”
“Oh, no need to be so polite.” An arm is thrown over your shoulder.
“You’re family now!” They drag you to the living room and before you know it you, you are fitting in like another sister. They tell you tons of stories of Bokuto as a kid and even manage to find some home videos. The three of you just laugh for the next few hours. You share some stories of the past few years from him in highschool that they missed when they were in college. Let’s just say they love you.
You are all sat on the couch cuddled under blankets in a solid lump of tangled limbs, watching a tv show and eating pizza when the front door opens. 
“I’m home.” You hear Bokuto grumble, exhausted from practice. The two sisters freeze.
“Hide,” She whispers harshly, “He’ll kill us if he finds out we met you without him here.” You slip under a blanket as he walks by the couch.
“Ew, you stink. Go take a shower.” One of them complain, the smell rolling off him. You were pretty used to it by now, and with the blanket covering your face, you couldn’t even smell it.
“Whatever,” He says heading upstairs, “I’m coming back for pizza though!” He was about to go upstairs when your phone chimed loud. He must have texted you that he was home. This made him freeze, suspicious since he knew that sound. You had changed it from the default sound so you would be able to tell when it was your phone going off or someone elses. 
“You guys didn’t…” He goes over to the couch and pulls the blanket off, “Y/N!?” He was not expecting this. You smile at him, guilty.
“Surpise.” You slow jazz hands at him.
“I- Wha-You should be home?” Poor Bokuto is way to tired to try and comprehend this but eventually it sinks it. He glares at his sisters about to accuse them of kidnapping you, not like that would do him much good. He doesn’t stand a chance against them, but he can pretend. 
“I saw your light on so I thought maybe you were home but instead I met your sisters.” You explain, to happy about his sisters liking you to be guilty.
“Wait why was my light on.” He looks at his sisters.
“Hey that’s not the point here,” One of them avoid, “How could you hide this little gem from us?”
“Right!,” One of them hugs you from behind, “She’s just so perfect I might just have to steal her.”
“No! She’s mine! I found her first.” He complains like a little kid. This makes you laugh. “I told you he was possessive,” His sisters refers to one of her stories, “Could never share anything.” Bokuto’s eyes are widen at that.
“You told her stories?! Whatever they told you are lies! Everything is false.” He says grabbing your shoulder, terrifies what they might have told you.
“Mmm I don’t know,” You say thinking, “You do have a favorite volleyball no one else is allowed to touch.” His sisters start cackling at this. “Did you name it too?”
“Bo’s Balls!” His sister exclaims still laughing.
“Ahh! Y/N don’t encourage them!” He adjusts his grip on your arms so he can help you over the back of the couch while his sisters are distracted laughing. You let him pull you over and into his arms. He slides his hands down to the back of you thighs and picks you up. You wrap you legs around his waist and secure yourself.
“Hey Bring her back!” They yell once they realize he’s stolen you. You wave to them from over his shoulder. 
“No way! She’s mine!” He runs up the stairs with you clinging on, you were slightly nervous he was going to trip running with you. Once he gets to his room he tosses you on the bed. He crawls over you and kisses you. You immediately reciprocate. The kiss lasts a good while, its slow and lazy but it makes up for the week apart.
“I’ve missed you.” He grumbles his face now buried in you neck.
“Me too,” You run your fingers through his hair, “Go shower, I’ll be right here.” He grudgingly gets up. Both he leaves he turns around and says,
“Don’t let them in if they come up here alright,” He says pointing at you, “It’s my turn with you.” He winks then leaves. You grab your phone texting your parents you’ll be staying over, which is nothing new. You get up and steal one of Bokuto’s shirts and a clean pair of boxers. You go over to the bathroom, which he left unlocked. He was still in the shower. 
“Brushing my teeth.” You announce, he hums in acknowledgement. You grab your designated tooth brush for whenever you stay over, which is a lot. He comes out of the shower just as you finish. He changes into his bed clothes and hands up his wet towel. He hugs you from behind, just wanting to be near you, and grabs his tooth brush. 
“Don’t get toothpaste in my hair.” You complain but make no move to get away. He finishes up in the bathroom and drags you back to his room. He throws himself on his bed and you crawl over to him. You don’t even make it under the covers before the two of you pass out, you snuggled into his chest with his arms protectively around you. Shielding you from anyone who would snatch you away, also known as his sisters.
Talking about his sisters, they are currently creeping down the hallway. They listen before opening the door, when deeming it safe, they crack it open and are met with the sight of the two of you cuddled up, sleeping. 
“He did good finding that one.”
447 notes · View notes
bestofbucky · 3 years
Text
Eavesdrop
Pairings: Bucky x Reader
Word Count: 5.1k
Warnings: none really, enemies to ?
A/N: This is my first time posting something I have written. I hope you enjoy it! Thank you so much @tuiccim for your help, couldn’t have done it without you.
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Being an Avenger is tough. Of course, there are the obvious missions and kicking ass that are exhausting, especially because you don’t have any sort of enhancements or powers. You are just a regular human being, fighting with and against some not so regular human beings. Naturally when you have downtime, you spend it doing things with the least amount of effort. Watching Netflix, listening to music, taking baths, etc, meaning that your social life outside of the compound was, to put it simply, non-existent.
You had just returned from the worst date of your life, well, one of the top five worst dates of your life. Over the past couple of months Steve and Natasha had grown tired of you whining about being single but not making any effort to change it and began sending you on blind dates. Somehow, they managed five different times to find five completely awful people. This time they had set you up with Arthur, a recruit for SHIELD and a good one at that. You wouldn’t be surprised to see him on the elite squad soon, but when it came to your date, he was really blunt and inappropriate, and you had cringed your way through the entire thing.
Once you got back to the compound, you first went to your room to get changed into gym clothes for training with Nat, then headed to her room. On your way you passed one of the common rooms and heard two voices. One familiar but one you didn’t recognise, you decided to check it out and found Steve and another man.
Steve called your name inviting you over to them as they both stood up. ‘This is Bucky. He’s moving in today to begin training.’ Steve explains. You nod and smile at Bucky, remembering Steve told you about him and that he would be living here and eventually joining the team.
You have to stop yourself from gasping out loud at the sight of him. He is a 6 ft something hunk of muscle and beauty and you can’t stop yourself from trying to take him all in with your eyes.
Steve then introduces you to Bucky who looks in your eyes for all of two seconds to say, ‘hi’ before looking down at his feet. He is probably really nervous. Even from that two second glance, you could tell he had one hell of a past. They had you hooked already, you wanted to stare into those eyes and let them tell you the stories of the lifetime they had seen.
‘You were just in Wakanda right? How was it? I have only ever seen it in pictures but I really want to go.’ You let your excitement show, hoping to relax him a bit.
‘Yeah, it was nice. I was frozen for most of it though’ Shit, he curses himself. He didn’t mean to come across so rude but he was really nervous, you are really pretty and it is messing with his head a little. It doesn’t help that he has had to meet a lot of different people today and he is all socialised out. He sees your face fall slightly before you quickly compose yourself, any normal person would have missed it but he has his past of being a trained assassin.
‘Well, Nat is probably waiting for me, she told me she would show me some new moves today.’ You say realising that Bucky had probably been under a lot of stress lately and most likely just wanted to be alone, or with Steve rather than chatting to you, a stranger. At least you hoped this was the reason and it wasn’t that he already disliked you. Saying goodbye to the two of them you head off to Natasha’s room.
Not even bothering to knock, you walk into her room leaving the door open behind you, since you’ll be heading down to the gym soon anyway. Natasha is sitting on the end of the bed braiding her hair. ‘You almost ready?’ You ask.
‘Yeah, just got to finish my hair then put my shoes on.’ She tells you so you take a seat on her bed while you wait.
Meanwhile, Bucky told Steve that he wanted to go get his room sorted. Really it was just an excuse to be alone for a little while. On the way there he walked past a room with the door open and heard two voices talking, recognising them to be you and Natasha. He was just about to carry on walking to his room when he heard Natasha ask, ‘did you meet him yet?’
Bucky assumed she was talking about him and wanted to hear what you had to say. He hoped you would be understanding of his reticence after his taxing morning. 
‘Yeah, I met him today.’ You sigh and roll your eyes.
‘That bad?’ Nat asks, raising her eyebrows with a slight smirk on her face.
‘Yes, I tried to be as friendly as I could but he seemed like a jerk.’ You huff.
‘How so?’
‘He was so blunt he just came across really rude. I had high expectations, especially after hearing Steve say so many nice things about him.’
‘Maybe he was just having a bad day?’ She attempts a defence. 
‘Bad day or not, he should have the courtesy to smile and be polite even if it is fake.’
Bucky was so hurt to hear this. Yes, he wasn’t the nicest to you but your reaction seemed a bit dramatic. He didn’t want to hear you say any more so he rushed off to his room.
‘So, I guess you aren’t going to go on a second date with him then?’ Nat asks.
‘No, I really appreciate you and Steve trying to set me up but seeing as this is the 5th time and none of them were any good, I think I’ll go back to my old methods.’ You smile at her.
‘What, never putting yourself out there and waiting for the right person to just fall into your lap?’ Nat teases and you both laugh when you nod. She finishes tying her shoelaces and you head off to the gym.
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The next day you were leading a meeting of recruits who have the potential to be moved up into the squad that worked with the Avengers. The elite squad. Unfortunately for you, Arthur was in the group of recruits and was probably the next one to be promoted.  You finally dismissed everyone and started getting your stuff together to leave as well when Arthur came up to you.
‘What’s the word on who is moving up next, dove?’ You look up in shock, surely, he didn’t just call you dove.
‘Excuse me?’ You look him dead in the eye.
‘I said what’s the word on who is moving up next? I think you might need to get your hearing checked.’ He laughs at his own joke so you fake laugh with him.
‘That’s confidential., we’ll let everyone know when we have made the decision.’ You say and go to walk past him but he grabs your arm.
‘Does someone need a little convincing. If it’s you, then I can think of some ways.’ He whispers seductively in your ear. You pull your arm out of his grasp and frown at him.
‘I’m only joking, dove, come on, you can’t even take a joke?’ He laughs again.
You put on your best fake smile and your customer service voice. ‘There will be no convincing necessary. You are a good agent but you also have good competition. We will inform you all of our decision when it is made.’ You say and quickly turn and walk out the door before he can say anything else. When you get into the lift you ask FRIDAY where Steve is.
‘Common room A, Agent Y/L/N’. You make your way there as quick as possible. Heading around the corner, you slam into a solid object. You hiss at the contact on your fresh bruises, a frown appearing on your face. As soon as you look up to see what or who you bumped into, the frown quickly fades into a smile when you see its Bucky. He is already looking at you.
‘Sorry I should have been watching where I was going.’ He mumbles quickly.
‘No, it’s just as much my fault as yours. I shouldn’t have been in such a hurry.’ You apologise to him. As much as you would love to stay and chat  with  Bucky, you need to get to Steve to explain what just happened with Arthur and hopefully you can get him kicked off the team.
Bucky had left his room to try and find someone to help him figure out a few things with FRIDAY but as soon as he bumped into you that completely left his mind. You were all that filled his mind ever since he met you. He stood in the hallway for a while before realising he should ask you to help. Maybe this would be a good excuse to make up for his poor first impression. He heads in the direction you went but stops short when he hears your voice.
‘I think he bruised me. The dick.’ You say and Steve frowns at you ‘Come on, Steve. I’m  allowed to be angry. He has been nothing but a jerk to me,’ you explain and shift to get more comfortable.
‘What did you say to him when he did this?’ Steve asks, holding your arm and examining the newly formed bruises in the shapes of fingers.
‘I put on my best fake smile and pretended like everything was ok,’  You joke and Steve laughs, ‘as much as I hate the guy, I don’t have the confidence to actually show it.’ You sigh and Steve pulls your sleeve back down and leans back into the sofa. ‘Is there any way we can kick him off the team?’ You exaggerate batting your eyelashes at him.
‘He isn’t even on the team yet and you already want to kick him off?’ Steve questions.
‘Yes! I really don’t like him. I know he is your friend but I trust him about as far as I can throw him’ You explain and Steve nods.
Bucky had heard enough. He can’t believe you could be so horrible. You had the sweetest exterior and, from first impressions, you didn’t look like you could hurt a fly. But as he heard you say, you clearly put on a fake act to come across as polite and kind when really you are rude deep down. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop on you. Twice now. But he is so glad he did, because now he knows not to waste his energy on you. He knows what you think of him and he has formed his opinion of you. He hurries back to his room.
‘He’s not my friend Y/N, I only said that to you to make you go on the date with an open mind. I’ve only ever had one conversation with the guy,’ Steve jokes and you playfully push his arm, ‘All jokes aside, his behaviour breaks a lot of conduct rules and is a good enough reason to have him knocked down a few squads.’ Steve replies and you sigh with relief. You hug Steve and thank him for his help, he’s taken slightly off guard but hugs you back before you go your separate ways.
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 A few weeks later, you walk into the kitchen to find the whole team eating their breakfast. Sam is cooking and when he sees you, he makes a plate and hands it to you.
‘Thank you Sam.’ You hug him and take the plate, turning around at the sound of Bucky’s scoff. You haven’t had a conversation with Bucky since you bumped into each other in the hallway. You had tried to but he either completely ignored you or just rolled his eyes and left the room.
At first it hurt, you wondered if you had done something wrong. The team seemed just as confused by it as you. Bucky didn’t have a problem with anyone else. That wasn’t to say he was extremely friendly with them, he wasn’t there yet and nobody blamed him but he could hold conversation with the others. He even laughed at their jokes. You were starting to get fed up with it so after breakfast you headed to Bucky’s room to talk to him. You knocked on the door and it wasn’t long until he answered it. As soon as he saw you his face fell visibly.
‘Can we talk?’ You asked hoping he would let you into his room. He paused to consider it then stepped out of his room, closing the door behind him. He stood there with his arms crossed and waited for you to talk.
‘Is there something I did wrong?’ You ask him and he keeps a blank face.
‘Why do you care?’ He asks still arms crossed over his body.
‘I care because you are always scoffing or rolling your eyes at me whenever I try to talk to you.’
‘I’m not scoffing or rolling my eyes now.’ He points out.
‘No but you’re not exactly being very friendly.’
‘Would you prefer for me to fake it then? Just put on a smile and pretend to like you?’ He jabs. You take a moment to process what he just said. You didn’t realise he could be so mean.
‘No Bucky I would prefer for you to maybe make an effort to get to know me before making a judgement.’ You scowl at him.
‘I have a perfectly fine judgement of you. I am not going to fall for your fake smiles and fake friendships.’ Bucky snarls and walks back into his room closing his door in your face. You are left to stand there in shock.
On the other side of the door Bucky is leaning there conflicted. The shock on your face looked so genuine. No, he has to remember it is all an act with you.
From that day on you decided you weren’t going to make an effort with him. It wasn’t the most mature decision but you were tired. What used to be eye rolls and scoffs, now turned into snarky comments and you were no longer afraid to throw them right back at him.
Steve had tried a few times to talk to you about it but, when he couldn’t tell you why Bucky hated you, he realised there was nothing he could do to change how either of you felt about the other. What he could do was change up your schedules so the two of you were rarely ever in the same room together.
Unfortunately, instead of the arguments happening quite calmly but consistently over the course of the whole day. They were now much shorter, confined to just mealtimes, and much more heated and intense. None of the team knew which was worse.
You were sparring in the gym with Natasha trying to work off some steam from this morning’s argument with Bucky.
‘Your moves are sloppy, get whatever is making you emotional out of your head.’ She grunts at you but this only forces you further into your head.
You go hard at her, but she blocks every move so you go to defence. She smirks at you, ‘Has a certain super soldier got into your head?’
That causes a surge of anger to hit you and again you go hard at Natasha, but your anger only allows her to catch you off balance and you are pinned to the mat in a matter of seconds.
‘So it is Barnes.’ She  pulls you up and you brush yourself off before getting back into a fighting stance.
‘I don’t want to talk about it.’ You grunt at her and start your attack. Your moves are still predictable and anger clouds your mind. You feel yourself getting more and more worked up with every hit she blocks.
You retreat to take a breather, you hear the door open and you glance over, the man of the hour has just entered and you roll your eyes but continue to spar with Natasha.
Out the corner of your eye, you see him make his way over to you both, watching as you take a lot of hits from her and barely manage to land any of your own.
‘I have seen toddlers fight better than you Y/N.’ You hear him chuckle.
‘I don’t need your opinion.’ You grunt, still trying to keep your focus on Natasha.
‘Fight like that on the field and you’ll be dead in two seconds.’
‘Keep talking and you’ll wish you were dead.’
He laughs ‘Is that a threat?’ You ignore him and continue sparring. ‘Your punches are so weak, how did you become an Avenger again?’ He is still smiling knowing exactly which buttons to push.
You stop and make your way over to him. ‘I became an Avenger because of my talent and my strength, that I worked hard to earn.’ You are right up in his face, almost chest to chest. You are breathing hard, partly from the exercise but mostly because of how riled up you are. You notice he is breathing hard as well, his breath fanning across your face.
Your mind can’t help but drift, is this what he would look like in bed, his chest rising and falling faster than normal. Small beads of sweat gathered at his hairline from his recent run. You suddenly realise how close the two of you are and force the inappropriate thoughts from your mind. You hate how seeing him so riled up is actually a huge turn on. How could you let yourself be attracted to such an asshole?
‘You wouldn’t stand a chance against me.’ His voice drops so low that in a different circumstance you would have happily dropped your panties.
‘You’re right. I wouldn’t stand a chance against you and your metal arm that you were given. Or you and the super soldier serum that you were given.’ You know they are cheap shots but you just couldn’t help how absolutely fuming he makes you. He had managed to get under your skin and the thought of him being successful only made you angrier.
He leans down even more, your noses almost touching ‘I don’t know how everyone else can’t see through your little nice act. You pretend to be so kind on the outside but deep down you’re a bitch.’ Ouch. You deserved that one for what you said to him but it didn’t make it hurt any less. Especially because if you were hooked up to a lie detector and asked to say those things again, it would flash up as a blatant lie. However, looking into his eyes there was not an ounce of regret for what he said.
Bucky knew he shouldn’t have said what he did, but you had hit a nerve and it was the only thing he could think to say back. He saw the hurt flash across your eyes but it was too late to take it back now. The only thing he could do was exit the situation before it got any worse. He turned on his heels and left the room, leaving you standing there in complete shock at your exchange. 
Natasha calls your name but you quickly leave for your room before anyone can see you like this.
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The team was split all across the base. This wasn’t how you would usually handle missions but as soon as you arrived the mission started to go sideways.
‘Target headed towards the west elevator. Anyone nearby copy?’ You hear Steve’s voice through comms.
‘I'm on it.’ You say back, your comms crackling more than usual.
‘Copy that.’ Bucky said, his comms crackling from the two of you talking at the same time.
The rest of the team had heard both of your voices but neither of you had heard the other. So it was a big shock when you were waiting for the elevator and you heard his voice behind you.
‘You have got to be kidding me.’ He sighs and slowly walks up to you to wait for the elevator as well. ‘Did you not hear me say I got it?’ He snaps at you.
‘No because I was the one that said I’m on it.’ You snap back and thankfully the elevator dings it’s arrival. Normally in creepy Hydra bases you would avoid elevators but seeing as there was no stairwell nearby, this was the only option.
‘Age before beauty.’ You say to him, gesturing to the elevator.
‘Very funny’ he says sarcastically before stepping inside. You follow after him and press the only floor button available.
Silence permeates the small space as you prepare for what’s to happen once the doors open. Instead, the elevator jerks to a stop.
‘No.’ You panic and start pressing the floor button over and over. ‘No no no no no.’ Nothing is working.
‘Let me try.’ Bucky says pushing you out of the way, you so badly want to say something but the only thing you can focus on is the fact you might be trapped. Bucky taps the button and looks around for anything else to press but there is nothing. You can feel yourself start to get light headed as claustrophobia takes hold and the thought of falling to your death in this metal box takes over your thoughts. You shrink down onto the floor and hold your head in your hands.
‘Do you always have to be so dramatic?’ Bucky huffs. You don’t answer him, the only thing you can think about is the pain starting in your chest and your breathing getting heavier. 
‘Stop breathing so fast. You are going to make yourself pass out.’ Bucky grunts but when you don’t reply or make any effort to slow your breathing he gets worried. He kneels down in front of you ‘Hey? Doll? Can you hear me?’ You can’t answer him, you just feel the impending doom and the immense pressure on your chest. ‘I’m going to move your hands.’ He announces then you feel him take your hands and pull them away from your face. You look at him, tears in your eyes, a look of pure fear across your face. ‘Breathe with me, doll. Can you do that?’ He asks and you manage to nod. He speeds his breathing up to your pace then gradually slows it, you follow him as best as you can and eventually you get your breathing back to normal, with the occasional hiccup or sharp intake.
Once he sees you are ok, he lets go of your hands and sits on the floor as far away as he can. You both continue to sit in silence.
‘Thank you.’ You eventually manage to whisper, he nods without meeting your eye.
You can’t help but feel disappointed, you just got to see a caring side of Bucky and it felt amazing to be on the receiving end of it, but now you are back to him not giving a shit about you. You go back and forth wondering whether it is the right time to bring up the issues between you two. If not now, when?
‘Why do you hate me so much?’ He looks across at you and sighs before he answers.
‘I don’t hate you.’
‘Yes you do. It seems like you go out of your way to make me miserable.’ You push, making him lean his head back on the wall behind him.
‘I don’t hate you. I just don’t like how you formed opinions about me so early on. You wanted me off the team before I even got cleared to be on the team.’ Bucky explains. You stare at him in confusion.
‘How do you know what opinions I formed of you? I may have wanted you off the team but it was only because you were mean and that was after you were cleared.’ You could feel yourself starting to get angry.
‘Then how come I overheard you talking about the first time we met to Nat, you said I was blunt and rude. Then after I accidentally bumped into you, you told Steve you wanted me off the team.’ Bucky says agitatedly.
‘I never-‘ you think back to any conversations you had with Nat and Steve about Bucky. The only ones that came to mind were asking them if they knew why Bucky didn’t like you. Then it hits you, he had overheard you talking to Steve and Nat about Arthur. You sighed.
‘Let me guess, you overheard me and Nat talking not long after we first met. We were in Nat’s room getting ready to go train?’ You ask and he nods.
‘Then the conversation you overheard with Steve was straight after we bumped into each other. We were in the common room?’ Bucky looks confused but nods again.
‘You are such a prick. You eavesdrop but don’t even listen long enough to hear who we were talking about.’ You can’t help but chuckle at the situation, even though it’s not particularly funny.
‘What?’ Bucky looks more confused than ever.
‘Well, if you had listened properly to the whole conversation you would know I was talking about that asshat agent, Arthur.’ That came out more blunt than you intended.
‘The recruit that got bumped down a few squads even though he is really good?’
‘Yep. That’s the one’
‘I don’t understand.’
‘Before you came Steve and Nat had been setting me up on blind dates with people. Arthur was the fifth one, I really didn’t want to go so Steve convinced me by saying they were friends and all this nice stuff about him.’ You pause to take a deep breath. ‘The day we met, I had just come from the date with him and it was awful. That's what me and Nat were talking about. Then when we bumped into each other in the hallway, I had just come from a meeting with the recruits. Arthur had been inappropriate and he hurt my arm, I was rushing to Steve to tell him and ask if he can be kicked off the team.’ You finally manage to say and Bucky just looks at you. You can see the cogs turning in his head as he is finally getting context to the snippets of conversation he overheard.
‘Shit. I am so sorry. I am such an idiot.’ He scolds himself and you can’t help but feel bad for him.
‘I am not going to disagree with you, but we have both said and done some pretty nasty stuff. I am sorry for any hurt I caused you.’  You say sincerely and he looks over to you and smiles.
‘So you didn’t think I was rude when we first met?’ He still holds your eye contact and you take a moment to look at him. You have never seen him look so vulnerable before, he almost looked scared.
‘No, Bucky, I thought you were probably nervous or tired from meeting loads of new people.’ You explain and his shoulders fall.
‘I feel like such a jerk.’ He sighs and you scoot yourself closer to him so he has to look at you.
‘I’m not all that innocent in this either. It was a misunderstanding. I am just glad we have cleared it up now.’ You say meaning it and he smiles earnestly back at you. It is something you have never experienced first-hand. You have seen him give those gorgeous, slightly lopsided, smiles to other people but seeing one directed at you causes a rush of heat to your cheeks and you find yourself blushing.
Bucky must have been thinking along the same lines ‘You’re cute when you blush. I have never seen this side of you before.’ He brushes some hair out of your face and behind your ear. ‘You know, part of the reason I was so nervous when I first met you was because I was taken off guard by how beautiful you are.’ His cheeks flush slightly at his confession.
Before you can say anything the elevator jerks again and starts moving, you and Bucky are quick on your feet, preparing yourself for the doors to open.
When they finally do you are met with a group of Hydra agents ready to attack. You and Bucky work in tandem, playing off each other’s strengths. When the Hydra agents realize this, they work to separate you. The majority of them are on Bucky but you are fighting four at once. You are onto the last one when he raises his gun to shoot but you force his arm down. Not quick enough, it fires and clips your calf causing you to cry out from the pain 
It is not as bad as actually being shot in the leg but it still hurts like hell and you can’t put pressure on it. The room is pretty silent apart from footsteps you recognise to be Bucky approaching. You move quickly and uppercut the guy in the nose. The crack echoes throughout the room as the guy falls to the floor at your feet.
You turn to Bucky, his mouth agape and eyebrows raised in shock. ‘That was hot.’ He announces finally, making you laugh, you go to take a step towards him but realise too late that your injured leg won’t hold your weight. You would have fallen to the floor if Bucky hadn’t rushed to catch you.
‘Thanks.’ You chuckle, your faces are extremely close. Your eyes completely entranced in his. Your whole body warms at the safe feeling of being in his arms. You start to wonder what it would be like to fall asleep in these arms, to wake up the next morning still wrapped up in them. Protected.
You force yourself back to reality by clearing your throat. ‘We should probably get back to the team.’ You say and he nods. He puts his arm around your waist and you put yours over his shoulders to use him as a crutch.
The ride back up in the elevator goes smoothly this time and before you know it you are hobbling up to the quinjet where the rest of the team awaits. Natasha and Steve are both looking back and forth from you to Bucky in confusion.
‘What the hell happened?’ Steve asks not trying to hide how baffled he is that you and Bucky are holding onto each other and not arguing. Natasha simply smirks. Bucky helps you into a seat then sits opposite you with a wink as you smile at him.
‘No, this is too weird. Please argue, bicker, roll your eyes. Anything.’ Sam begs Bucky who doesn’t break his eye contact with you. Bucky simply laughs knowing his behaviour is unsettling Sam and enjoying the newfound comradery with you.
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yeojaa · 4 years
Text
( DEVIL IN A NEW SUIT. )
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Money’s something that makes the world go around.  There’s absolutely nothing wrong with securing the bag.  You don’t shame anyone for doing what they need to do.  
That is, until you come face to face with the poor guy that’s being suckered out of both his heart and cash.  You simply can’t let it go on.
pairing.  jjk x f!reader.
genre + rating.  idiots to lovers.  fluff, angst, smut.  the holy trifecta, babies!  explicit, obviously.  
tags / warnings.  mentions of infidelity, kook being adorable and sad, reader being a bit of a tactless butthole, a satin playsuit (very nsfw), kook does a 180, smut in the form of: a slight oral fixation, too much spit, overstimulation, pussy slapping, unprotected sex (pls don’t be irresponsible).
wc.  12.2k of nonsense.  pure nonsense, i tells ya. 
beta reader(s).  @hobi-gif​ did what she always does aka read through this and made me a better writer and @yeoldontknow​ dealt with my big dumbass and let me cry about my pea brain to her.  i love you both sm!!!  ✨💜
author note.  the long-awaited fic is here!!  i really hope you enjoy it.  if you do, please maybe leave a comment or something?  i swung back and forth between loving and hating this so it’d really, really mean a lot.  anyway, thanks as always for reading and i adore you!  stay safe and happy and healthy!
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He’s a sucker.  That’s what you think of him, despite the fact you’ve never met him.  It’d be impossible not to, given what you’ve heard. 
His girlfriend - or something - is in every other week, flashing his black card like she has something to prove.  Sometimes, she’s by herself;  often, she’s with another gaggle of girls that fawn all over themselves and shriek a little too loudly for your taste.  They’re vapid, snooty in a way that makes you cringe every time they step into the boutique.  Still, you’re nice because this is your job and you have to be.  You can’t exactly tell a paying customer to get lost - even if you think it at least six times each visit. 
“He has no idea.”  It’s always the same thing, a story that pulls at your heartstrings yet has you scoffing in equal parts.  “I told him we were doing a girls’ trip but Hyunjin’s going to meet me on his way back and we’re spending the week at the Ritz.”
How can he possibly be this dumb, you wonder.  How can’t he see past the pretty pink lipstick and perfectly coiffed blonde hair?  It isn’t even that nice of a colour job - too icy and reminiscent of Malibu Barbie. 
(She’d bragged about it once - how she’d gotten an appointment at one of the most coveted salons in the city, spending hours in the stylist’s chair to get this “perfect shade”.  Her words, not yours.)
You figure he must be some lonely schmuck, some poor old sap who can’t possibly get what he’s looking for anywhere else.  Maybe he had some weird spoiling kink - if so, where was your man like that - or he just wanted companionship and found it in the arms of girls who paid him any sort of attention.  Truthfully, you thought a lot of things about him.  Kind of had to, given how often his girlfriend was in, rambling about her exploits and snickering behind his back.
You’d never expected him to be like this.
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Jeon Jungkook shows up on a Sunday afternoon, shortly after lunch and with the dopiest smile on his face. 
Your colleague notices him first, nudging you to attention because you, unlike her, actually do productive things while you’re at work like go through layaways and make sure items aren’t sitting in the back gathering dust.
“He’s cute,”  she very poorly whispers, voice carrying because it always does.  She’s a younger girl - maybe a few years your junior, who’d gotten her job through pure nepotism - but she’s sweet enough.  Zero tact, though.  Never notices when she’s being just a little too forceful with her sales but her sweet smile and full rack seem to keep her from getting into any trouble.  You consider her a vaguely annoying sister, someone you love even when you don’t necessarily like her.
You glance up from the iPad balanced in your hands, disinterested.  “Who?”
There’s an older couple striding past the entrance, hand-in-hand with three Hermes bags.  (God, what awful taste.)  There’s another couple standing at the mouth of the Louis Vuitton boutique, bickering about which belt will best match the boyfriend’s tux best.  (The answer is neither, because those belts do not belong with a classic black tux.)
“Him.”
Yejin all but points him out, jerking her chin in his direction.  You don’t know how you hadn’t really clocked him in the first place.  Maybe because he’s so unassuming that you’d just brushed over him, noting his outfit before moving on.  When you look at him - really look at him - you can’t look away.
You think he’s handsome in that off-kilter kind of way, too-big teeth and too-wide eyes.  He’s terribly innocent looking, despite the fact that he’s wearing a gleaming gold Rolex and sleek black boots you recognise from Prada’s 2019 RTW.  Everything he wears is tailored, fitting him to the point you wonder who his seamstress  is.  
But then he speaks, and it’s not the suave, sultry voice you’d expect.  It’s featherlight and almost shy, bashful in its delivery.  
“I’m here to pick up a bag for my girlfriend?”  He upspeaks.  It’s stupidly adorable.
Bless her soul, Yejin throws a glance in your direction first.  A silent ‘yours or mine?’ that’s answered when you step forward, blindingly bright customer service smile in full effect.  “What’s the item and the name it’s under?”  You keep in mind he’s said girlfriend very clearly, even as you can’t help but trail your stare over his shoulders, the dimple that digs itself into his cheek when he speaks again.
“Oh, it’s under mine.  Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook.” 
You’re floored.  This is Jeon Jungkook?  This specimen draped in leather and fine Japanese silk is the poor idiot wrapped around Barbie’s finger?  You’ve got to be kidding.
You wonder whether the surprise is evident on your face.  It must be, given how quickly Yejin interrupts, piping up in that saccharine sweet voice of hers.  “I’ll grab it!  The Box bag in cloud, right?”
Jungkook can only nod dumbly.  He has no idea what he’s there to pick up - only that he needs to because his girlfriend is away on a trip with her two best female friends.  He tells you as much, chuckling at his own ignorance.  It’d be cute if it weren’t so sad, his eyes twinkling like the jewels set in your ears.  There’s so much love in his eyes it’s frankly sickening.  
It comes before you can help it, snapping off your tongue - an oil spill ready to drag him to the depths of hell.
“Oh - you’re Kiko’s boyfriend?  I thought you’d left for Hong Kong already.”  Your head tilts - the picture of innocence as you continue to spew things you shouldn’t, staining the innocence of his expression with each word that drops off.  “She said she was leaving on Friday.”  Even while you’re tearing this poor man’s life apart, you’re racking your brain for the off-handed comments she’d made.  “She kept going on and on about how she was so excited to be staying at the Ritz.”
It’s almost like you gain some sick sort of satisfaction in watching his face fall.  You’ve never seen someone crumble so quickly, every ounce of affection swept up and spat out in the time it takes you to take a solid, proper breath.  
You do feel bad.  Not for saying it, but for being the person to do this.  For hurting this stranger.  (At least he knew?)
“I think you have me mistaken for someone else.”  Gone is the sunny friendliness, the blissful geniality.  He’s very much uncertain, bunny teeth digging into the full swell of his bottom lip.  He’s pigeon-toed and round-shouldered, thick brows drawn neatly over his stare as he focuses on some indeterminate point somewhere by his feet. 
If Yejin were on the floor with you, she’d tell you to knock it off.  Chastise you for getting involved in something you had no business being in.  (She’d be right, but you’ve always been an advocate for tough love.)  As it stands, she’s still in the back finding that stupid girl’s bag and you’re here, shaking your head, weakening Jungkook’s resolve with the edge of your teeth.  “No, she definitely said she was going away with her boyfriend.  Did you maybe give us the wrong name?”
Maybe if he weren’t so upset, he’d be more offended by the insinuation he’s stupid.  Instead, he only falters further, head mimicking yours.  Poor guy.
“I—I think there’s been a mistake.”
Yeah, you dating that gold-digger, you want to say.  Instead, you meet his stare like you haven’t just dug a thousand holes in his foundation.  “Oh, maybe.  I’m sorry.”  The apology is honest, even if the meaning behind it isn’t.  That’s a thing, right?  Apologising to make someone feel better, even when you don’t necessarily agree with it?  
God, you’re an altruist. 
“It’s fine.”  When he stutters, adorable lisp coming out to play, you know it’s not.  You applaud him for his brave face, even if it’s very poorly offered - a makeshift mask you think you could tear off with just another well-aimed word.  (You won’t.)
“Here it is!”  Yejin’s back, bouncing out from behind the counter with the giant white bag in her hands.  If she notices the atmosphere, she says nothing.  You remind yourself to tell her good job once Jungkook leaves - and you know he’ll leave the moment he’s got those silk handles in his hand.  He looks about ready to cry - or ready to fight, you’re not sure.
Once the purchase is passed over, he nods his head furiously and you swear you see a tear go flying.  You don’t have time to ask before he’s hoofing it out of the store.  
He doesn’t even notice he’s left his wallet on the counter.
By the time you snatch it up and round the corner, he’s nowhere to be found.  Probably because running in stilettos is next to impossible and he’s gotten an embarrassed head start.  Well then.
“I guess we’ll have to call him,”  you hum, turning the Prada bi-fold over and over in your hands.  It’s practically brand new, stuffed with large bills, his driver’s license, and few credit cards, including a Hyundai black card.  The same one on file that his girlfriend - maybe soon-to-be ex-girlfriend? - uses shamelessly.
Yejin’s watching you carefully, silently.  You’re counting down how long it’ll be until she asks - because you can see the curiosity swimming in her eyes, practically bulging her cheeks with the effort of keeping her questions caged behind her teeth.
Finally, after a good three minutes, she’s at your side, bony point of her chin digging a grave into your shoulder.  It’s probably not the most appropriate thing but she’s never much been one for decorum.  (You either, but still.) 
“So… what was that about?”
You don’t bother to turn when you speak, back to running through order details and matching them with customers.  “What?”
“You know— that!”  She waves her wrist in a circle, gesturing toward the space Jungkook had occupied not five minutes ago.  “He ran out of here like he was scared for his life.”
“Scared of the truth,”  you correct. 
You hadn’t thought it was possible for her to get more pale - she’s already fine porcelain, perpetually slathered in sunscreen - but she somehow does, balking at your response.  There it is. 
“What?”  There’s a reproachful edge to her words, an uncertainty that tells more than the single syllable. 
“What?”  It’s mimicry and a challenge all in one, meeting her stare from the corner of your periphery.  You can read every emotion that runs through her expression:  shock, displeasure, confusion.  
She retreats a step, bottom lip caught between her teeth.  (She really does remind you of your little sister.)  “So, you told him?”
You shrug, a noncommittal gesture that disrupts the curtain of silk that falls over your shoulder.  You hadn’t laid it out for him but surely he had an idea now.  There was no way he didn’t. 
“I pointed out a few conflicting facts.  That’s all.”  You’re not ashamed about what you’ve done.  You’d want to know if you were him.  Consider it an act of goodwill. 
The silence that meets your ears isn’t surprising but you don’t pay it any further mind.  What’s done is done.  Now he knows, or something close to it.  The chips would simply fall where they were meant to. 
You have to admit - you’re rooting for him. 
Whatever Yejin’s thinking, she keeps it to herself for the rest of the shift.  She knows better than to berate you about something like this, not that she would anyway.  Obnoxious as she can be, you have an understanding.  It strengthens your not-quite-close-friends-but-more-than-colleagues relationship. 
It’s only at the end of your shift that she brings it up again, drifting over to you as you complete your cash count for the evening. 
She holds Jungkook’s wallet in her hand, mouth pursed thoughtfully as she taps it against the edge of the counter.  “You have to call him.”
You almost lose your count, finishing with a pinched expression.  “Whoever works tomorrow morning can call him.”  You’re not brushing off the responsibility - you really could care less - but simply passing it along to the next person.  Sensible. 
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As it turns out, you’re the person who works the next morning, called in because another associate has come down with a cold.  
You’re two lattes deep when you remember the wallet, tucked neatly behind the counter with a yellow sticky note posted to the front.  You suppose it’s your responsibility now.  You know if Yejin comes in tomorrow and sees it, she’ll give you her childish brand of hell. 
The line rings twice before it picks up, that oddly familiar voice crackling through the speaker.  “Hello?”
“Jungkook?”  
There’s a beat of silence followed by a careful confirmation. “Yes, that’s me?”  Upspeaking again. How cute. 
“I’m calling from the CELINE boutique.”  You can practically imagine the look on his face, eyes as wide as saucers as he recalls the awful-to-him encounter.  “You left your wallet here and I wanted to make sure you got it back.”
“O-oh, uh—“  It’s like encountering a baby bunny - or deer or something equally adorable and vulnerable.  “Thanks.  I didn’t even notice.  Um, I can come pick it up today?”  There’s another pause, the sound of fingers over a screen, and then he’s back.  “Is that okay?”
Leave it to him to have lost his wallet and yet be worried about putting someone else out.  He truly was a sucker. 
“That’s fine.  We’re open until six tonight.”  
“I’ll be there before dinner.”  As if realizing how vague that is, he continues, words running headlong into each other like he can’t get them out fast enough.  “Before six, I mean.  Um, is around five-thirty okay?” 
You want to tell him to just come whenever, that it really doesn’t matter to you, but that probably isn’t going to help the situation.  Instead, you hum a quiet sound of confirmation.  “Of course.  We’ll see you then.” 
He hangs up immediately. 
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The second time you meet Jeon Jungkook, he’s just as endearing as the last.  It’s actually surprising, if you’re being honest.  You’d thought he’d be resentful or mean or any other emotion better fitting someone whose entire world had turned upside-down.
As it stands, he’s just the right-side of anxious, a hundred little sparks of uncertainty flaring beneath his skin and lighting him up in neon.  You can see him from a mile away he’s lit up so bright, seemingly uncomfortable in his own skin.
Your heart aches for him - and then it skips, almost trips over its own two feet when he wanders into the store with his hands dug deep into the pocket of his pants.
How he looks tonight is nothing like how he’d looked yesterday.  Somehow, you like it more.  The undone head-to-toe Balenciaga, the unruly curl of his dark hair.  It’s effortlessly chic - though you think it might have something to do with the fact that he’s just an attractive person.  (Good-looking people could get away with anything - even god-awful fashion faux pas.)
At the sight of you, he seems to further lose steam, eyes widening to such an extent you briefly worry for him.  Surely they’ll fall out of their sockets one day.  
“O-oh.  It’s you.”  The moment the words come, he’s blushing the colour of your red-soled shoes, horrified.  “I m-mean, just—”  He takes a deep breath, finds his footing and tries again.  “You’re the girl that helped me yesterday.”  Spoken like you, the exact girl who helped him yesterday, wouldn’t remember that fact yourself.  
“That’s right,”  you say evenly, expression neutral.  It’s almost as if that surprises him more - as if he’d expected you to shy away from the knowledge.  
The two of you stare at each other for longer than is strictly speaking necessary.  Well, you stare at him and he kind of bounces his eyes around the room.  You know he can’t be that interested in the croc stamp Belt bag behind your head or the selection of small leather goods in the glass case.  
He’s so awkward.
(You did kind of ruin his day though, so you can’t blame him.)
“So, um, my wallet?”  He’s made barely any headway, still lingering awkwardly by the front of the store.  You can’t help your smile - it’s more of a smirk - as you raise the item in question.  
“Right here.”
Jungkook glances from it to your face, then back again.  He makes the same trip twice more.  “Can I have it?”  To your surprise, he’s taken two whole steps toward you, brow furrowed.  He’s still terribly soft, rounded edges and innocent eyes, but he’s making progress.  Good job, you think.
“Of course.”  You mirror him, moving out from behind the counter.  Somehow, that���s not the right move, because his features are breaking and rearranging, big bunny teeth worrying a hole straight through his bottom lip.  You’d think he’d be more confident, more demanding, more… everything.  (You quite like that he isn’t - a complete anomaly - but you also imagine it’s also to his detriment.  Too much honey, not enough vinegar.)
This time, he closes the distance with three long strides.  It hadn’t escaped you how tall he was, the length of his gait - after all, you’d tried to run after him - but you’re still a little surprised when he’s in front of you, not a foot away, arm extended.  Palm out, he asks again, all while refusing eye contact.  “May I have it, please?” 
You hand it over with a soft laugh, pressing the grained leather into his hand.  You expect him to retreat immediately and he does - but then he turns and his expression is inscrutable.  Is he going to say thank you?  Berate you for what you’d done yesterday?
Neither, it seems.  “Why did you do it?”  There’s no anger, just an abiding sadness that laces his words, turns them the saddest shade of blue.
“Do it?”  You know what he means.  You ask anyway.
“Why did you tell me?”  Jungkook’s doing that thing again, alternating between biting his tongue and chewing his cheek as he stares at you.  You can practically see the melancholy rolling off him;  it shines dark on the depths of his irises, how his fist trembles just barely at his side.  For all his good looks and leisurely charm, you can see the effort it takes to hold himself together now.
Guilt ascends, starts somewhere deep in your stomach and turns stomach acid to butterflies.  It creeps higher and higher over your spine, locking each vertebrae until you’re immobile, unable to tear your gaze from his.  “I thought you deserved to know.”
“But why?” 
“What do you mean?”  
It’s almost comical, how both your expressions descend into bewilderment - like looking into a fun house mirror.  He’s trying to wrap his mind around your actions and you’re just trying to make sense of his confusion.  
You anticipate a response - can see it tittering on the tip of his tongue - but he seems to think better of it, shaking his head.  It dislodges a wayward curl from behind his ear, silver twinkling with the movement.  
“Thank you” is all he offers before speed-walking away.
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You don’t expect to see Jeon Jungkook for a third time.  
He’s waiting for you when you end your shift on Thursday, standing somewhere between the two boutiques, loitering like some kind of gremlin.  (Except he’s dressed exceptionally well, slick black jeans and a Balenciaga tee shirt that rivals the cost of your shoes.  Of course he’d get away with hanging out in the store without being told off.)
“Excuse me.”  For once, he doesn’t sutter.  The lisp doesn’t present itself, either.  Was this the same Jungkook?  You’re not sure until you meet his stare - or try, his own skipping away the moment you make contact.
There he is.
“Yes, Jungkook?”  He flinches, as if he isn’t expecting you to know or say his name.  How can someone so big, so broad across the shoulders with a face that belongs on billboards, look like such a terrified rabbit?  It makes no sense to you.
“Can we talk?”  The stare he levels you with is unfair, too sweet and coaxing for you to even consider saying no.  You’ll still mess with him a bit though.
“We are talking.”
He sputters at that, hacks out a cough that makes you snicker openly.  It’s just so easy with him, like taking candy from a baby.  
“I mean like— talk talk.”  The set of his jaw gives away the whisper of frustration, the fleeting touch of exasperation that doesn’t allow itself to live anywhere else.  His eyes are still soft, round and glossy beneath the fluorescent storelight.  
“Sure, we can talk talk.”  
“Did you, um, want to grab dinner?”
You don’t mean to mock him (at least, not really) but he just makes everything so easy. You hope he doesn’t take it the wrong way.  “Are you asking me on a date?”  
“W-what?  No!”  Despite the immediacy of his response - the look of utter shock that cracks the careful facade - he’s burning bright, cheeks aflame with colour that licks up and over his ears.  “I just— I thought you’d want to talk somewhere else—”
“I’m kidding.  Let’s go.”
You move first, stepping past him and onto the elevator without a backwards glance.  He scampers after you, trails like a lost puppy in the wake of your shadow.  Even while you stand in the corner, waiting for the lift to meet the main floor, he keeps a careful distance, hands jammed into the pockets of his jeans.  
“So, what do you want to talk about?”  It seems you have to take the initiative, throwing him a curious stare as the floor number ticks down.  His gaze is trained on neon digits, unmoving.  You repeat yourself, glancing up at him, half-tempted to nudge him out of his reverie.  It’s almost like talking to a really hot brick wall.  “Jungkook?”
He tears out of his thoughts like a wayward bullet, head swivelling wildly.  “Huh?”  
“What did you want to talk about?”  
“Um—”  He hesitates, not as if he doesn’t know the answer, but rather that he’s hesitant to speak it into existence.  There’s a tidal wave in the depth of his stare, a cresting wave that looks on the edge of breaking.  “—m-me?”
Brows furrow then amusement spills out.  “You want to talk about… you?”  
“That sounds bad.”  The shape of his grow prominent over his bottom lip, his mouth pulling and pursing with whatever maelstrom exists inside that pretty skull of his.  
“It’s fine.  We’ll talk at dinner.”  
He nods.  You think it means thank you.
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Sitting across from each other in the Michelin-starred restaurant - a sought after spot that takes reservations weeks in advance - it’s easy to imagine Jungkook is just another guy.  Another bachelor with too much money and not enough sense, eager to sink his teeth into his next victim.  
It’s hilarious how far that is from the truth.
“What did you want to eat?”  He’s speaking into the pages of the leatherbound menu, half his face hidden.  Whether it’s a defense mechanism or just how he woos pretty girls, you’re not sure.  (You have a feeling it’s the former.)
“Whatever.”  Everything here is incredible.  You really don’t mind.
Jungkook’s face falls, folds in on itself like wet paper and you sigh a sound that further breaks apart the pillars keeping his composure in place.  His right cheek is hollowed, interior being shredded by enamel.  You take pity on him then, flipping open the menu with a great flourish. 
When the waitress - a lovely little thing whose gaze lingers on your dining partner for too long to just be polite - comes to take your order, you rattle off your usual order, doubling certain selections.  Soft-spoken as he might be, you have a feeling the size of his stomach makes up for all the mumbling and half-hearted glances.
“So?”  You level him with a stare over the rim of your glass, lavender and lemonade bursting across your tongue.  
He echoes you, wide-eyed and Bambi-like and stupidly cute.  “So?”  
“What did you want to talk about?”  If you’d had a worse day, if you were a lesser person, you might be irritated by having to repeat yourself so often.  As it stands, you’re only curious, your inquisitive nature outweighing your naturally short temper. 
“Oh.”  Poor boy looks like he’s been asked an impossible question, like what’s the meaning of life or the secret to eternal youth.  He fumbles with the edge of his sleeve, turns the plaid over and over in his fingers as if it were a puzzle.  You stare at him the whole time, unflinching, unrelenting.  He’d asked you here so you damn well expect an answer.
You’re about ready to repeat yourself - fourth time’s the charm? - when he finally finds his voice.
“I wanted to say thank you.”
It’s not the answer you’d expected.  It whacks you in the face, smacking your usual confidence out of place and shooting your carefully threaded eyebrows into your hairline.  “What?” 
He’s terribly uncomfortable, unhappy with being on the spot.  You watch the flicker of emotions through his face, the ones that creep into the delicate skin beneath his eyes, the wobble of his bottom lip.  Try as he might, he can’t keep the light from his eyes - twinkling stars that bloom like newly minted stars.
“Thank you.”  It’s just that much harder when he repeats himself, edges he builds with his bare hands and a clearing of his throat.
You’re silent for a long while - long enough for the first few plates to be set before you.  You gather up shredded radish and perfectly charred beef with your chopsticks, chewing thoughtfully on the morsel.  Jungkook doesn’t move - doesn’t even reach for his chopsticks - and simply stares at you.  You might find it off-putting if it were anyone but him.
You get through half the bowl of green beans, well on your way to finishing it, when he finally begins eating, deftly transferring little bites to his bowl.
The only sound is crunching - king oyster mushroom tempura, ice from your cocktail - and you’re pleasantly surprised to find it’s not uncomfortable.  A little different, sure, but altogether nice.  Like dining with an old friend.
You finally answer when half the plates are gone, another three laid out in their wake.  You’re careful not to speak with your mouth open - you notice Jungkook doesn’t either - and take a long sip of your water.  “You’re welcome, I guess.”  
Something tells you you’re always surprising him - whether intentionally or not.  His eyebrows have a tendency to shoot up, making him look even more shocked than he normally does.  (Seriously, how big are his eyes?)  You find that funny but don’t comment on it, opting to pop a silken piece of black cod into your mouth.  Your stare never falters, trained on his face as you chew thoughtfully.
“What?”  He’s had enough of your quiet observation, apples of his cheeks reminiscent of the tree in your parents’ backyard.  
“What?”  You parrot back, shameless, dark eyes twinkling at him.
“Y-you’re staring at me.”  
“You’re sitting in front of me.”
The line of his mouth hardens then, tongue rolling against his cheek in a gesture that stands out.  It’s the first glimpse of something rude, something not doe-eyed and innocent.  Oh?
“You don’t have to stare.”  Said with a speared piece of sashimi, the end of his chopsticks assaulting the poor piece of bluefin tuna like it has personally offended him.  
You reach for the same place, knock ornate wood against his, and quirk a brow when he meets your stare.  “Does it bother you, Mr. Jeon?”  The inflection is drawn out, almost mocking, only softened by the smile you offer.  
“That’s not my name.”  The bite disappears past his teeth.  You expect him to continue three chews later but he only goes for another, filling his plate and then his mouth.
“Sorry— Jungkook.  Does my staring bother you?”
It feels a little like playing with fire - holding your hand too close to a flickering flame, curious what it’ll do.  Juvenile in a way but enticing in another.  You’ve never met anyone quite like Jeon Jungkook.
“It’s rude,”  he reasons, glossy eyes meeting yours for perhaps the fifth time that evening.
“Maybe I’m just rude.”
He shakes his head then - dislodges untamed strands from behind his silver-lined ears - and sets his chopsticks down.  (Perfectly matched up, propped against the provided rest.)  “You’re not.”
You can’t keep the surprise away, the emotion threading through your brows to tie them into a little knot of consternation.  He says it so readily, as if he knows you and this isn’t one of a handful of very short, very unexpected conversations.  He’s not even looking away, meeting your stare with a confidence that surprises you.  
It lasts for all of five more seconds before he clears his throat and sips at his tea.  Anything to busy his hands, you think.
“You don’t know that,”  you finally return, after what seems like too long.
“I do.”  He nods - almost to himself - and continues, matter-of-fact.  “You care about people.  You’re… hard around the edges but you don’t mean to hurt anyone.  You want to do what’s right.  Sometimes it means you have to do things that aren’t easy.”
For once, you’re at a loss for words.  Really and truly silenced, unable to articulate anything that might beat back the kindness he’s offering.  
How the tables have turned.
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He likes waffles with chocolate syrup rather than honey.  He doesn’t like whipped cream or citrus-flavoured desserts.  He has a tailor he’s gone to since he was a child, the same elderly woman he sometimes calls halmoni because she’s watched him grow up.  He decorates his apartment with the most random things:  limited edition KAWs figurines and the guitars he still hasn’t had the most practice with, one of a kind paintings from the gallery one of his best friends curates.  He buys the most expensive bottles of wine at any given restaurant not because his palate is so evolved it matters, but because it’s what he’s been taught to do.
He’s been in four serious relationships in his twenty-five years.  All of them have ended poorly, though his latest with Malibu Barbie is the first where he’d been cheated on.  (Somehow, you doubt that but you don’t voice this disbelief.)  He tends to lean towards long-term relationships with women who baby him (your words, not his).  He scoffs when you call him a serial monogamist, insists he isn’t even as you list out all the facts pointing otherwise.
“I just… don’t like wasting my time,”  he insists from behind his coffee cup.  
“You mean you don’t like the potential to be hurt.”  
Jungkook blinks at you then, Bambi eyes so big and bright you almost want to laugh.  “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”  He seems confused - as if his reasoning is solid, irrefutable. 
“High risk, high reward, Jungkookie.”  It’s something your father had taught you years ago, the crazy old sap.  It’s probably why he’s had three divorces since you were seven years old, but you suppose it’s worked out for him now.  He’s been happily married for the last ten years - the longest relationship he’s ever had.  Youngin is good for him, though.  You like her - even if you sometimes wish she weren’t young enough to be your older sister and not his wife.
“You say that a lot.”
“I mean it when I say it.”
He’s quiet then, shoving a corner of his croissant past his lips.  When he speaks - starts to, anyway - his mouth is still full and you level him with a look that silences him until all traces of the pastry are gone.  “Girls are scary.”
You laugh.  Cackle, really.  You can’t help it.  He says it with a pout, the expression so utterly at odds with the offensively revealing shirt he wears, the smooth unblemished skin of his chest almost too much for such a quiet afternoon.  He glares at you across the table, shoves another piece of the flaky golden treat into his mouth, and waits for you to speak.  He knows you’re going to give him a piece of your mind because you always do, rebuffing 99% of the things he says.  (Sometimes for fun, often with good intentions.)
“Heights are scary.  Death is scary.  Leaving your wallet at home when you’re low on gas is scary—”
“Don’t you have Apple Pa—”
“Don’t interrupt.”  He clamps his lips shut, folding his arms across his chest.  From anyone else, it’d be a defensive gesture;  from him, it’s patient.  “Girls aren’t scary.  Having real feelings for people is scary, but that doesn’t mean you should just stay with people who don’t deserve you.” 
“Not all of us have cheater-sniffing noses.”  
You suppose he’s right but the fact still remains that he’s too nice for his own good.  Too trusting, too lenient, too blind to all the red flags.  Like he’s living life in greyscale. 
“Well, that’s what you have me for.”
The look Jungkook gives you then is incredulous, screwing his pretty face up as if he’s about to sneeze.  Instead, he laughs.  “I’m not hopeless.”
“Oh, but you are.”  You’re adamant, insistent.  He’s more comfortable with you now - sometimes teases you in a way you’d never have expected weeks ago - but he’s still so soft.  An absolute marshmallow dressed in designer duds, a heart of gold wrapped up in a bubble gum package.  
You want to protect him, teach him to fly.  Be his wingwoman until he’s soaring the skies on his own.  
You know it’s not his pride that keeps him from saying yes.  He doesn’t have an abundance of that, far too gracious to ever deny help when he really needs it.  He’s just shy, doesn’t know what he wants until it’s staring him right in the face.  
“Fine,”  he agrees after you’ve stared at him for too long.  It’s one of his weaknesses - his inability to handle attention when it’s laser-focused.  It makes him sweat, prompts his nervous habit of chewing at his bottom lip, long fingers picking at the peach fuzz on his cheeks.
“You won’t regret it.”
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Jeon Jungkook has gone on six dates over the last ten days.  You know, because you’ve helped him pick out outfits for each of them, seated at the edge of his bed with your knees folded and a bag of white cheddar popcorn in your grubby little paws.
It’s not that he isn’t stylish - you both know he is - but there’s a certain finesse to dressing for dates, to knowing the likes and dislikes of your potential partner and playing to those.  
He, to no one's surprise, does not have this finesse.  If it were up to him, he’d wear his favourite clothes every day, different jeans and joggers in medium-wash denim and impossibly soft cotton.  He’d swap his Balenciaga separates in and out and stick with the finely tailored Gucci suit he calls his lucky ticket (ew).  He’d live in those stupid two-toned sneakers and barely do his hair, allowing it to become a powder puff reminiscent of old Hollywood movies.
The girls would probably still love it.  (It’s easy to love him.)
“What do you think?”  It’s low-cut black, relaxed in the shoulders and flattering in the torso.  It holds him just right, hugging the muscle that threads across his shoulders like armour, coils around his upper arms and makes his tattoos stand in stark relief where the sleeves end, mid-forearm. 
It looks good— but then again, a lot of things look good on him.  He wants great.
You answer honestly, because that’s what you do and that’s what he has you there for.  To knock him down when his (admittedly small) ego gets a little too big, remind him of his hubris like the summer sun upon his candle wax wings.  “Not bad…”
You don’t even need to finish the thought for him to be tugging the shirt over his head, back flexed, ink-strewn fingers gripping the hem.  
Not for the first time, you’re reminded of just how unfair life is. 
How had Jungkook - bona fide dork, certifiable shy guy - been gifted one of the best bodies in human existence?  (You wish you were joking.)  It was utterly absurd, a complete waste on someone who’d only learnt to utilise his good looks in the last five months you’d known him.  
“This one?”  He’s grabbing another hanger, all but thrusting it into your face.  Medium-weight cashmere.  Probably too hot for a night like tonight but you’ve seen it on him before and it hugs him like a lover, displaying his best assets (titties) and drawing attention to the narrow shape of his waist.  It’s the equivalent of a little black dress.
“Look at you go,”  you tease, mouth full of mirth and popcorn kernels.  “Throw that Juun.J trench you have overtop and you’ll be set.”
Jungkook nods sagely, as if your word is law.  You suppose it is.
“Thanks, ____,.”  He says it in that sweet way of his, eyes lost to the weight of his gratitude.  
Your response is a shrug.  “Bring me back some dessert and we’ll be even.”  You don’t know where he’s going tonight but you figure it’s one of the many restaurants you’d recommended earlier in the week when he’d started lining up his various dates.  You know there’ll be something good on the menu.  
He promises he will as he slides the turtleneck on, tucking it into the dark trousers he’d picked up days ago, and redoes the slim black Rag & Bone belt around his waist.  You have to admit - you’ve done another great job of styling him.  Simple yet painstakingly attractive, playing at all the little bits of Jungkook’s best qualities without outlining them in bright red ink.  Understated but elegant, effortless yet seriously hot.  
Maybe you should quit your day job and become the female Hitch.  That was a viable plan, right?
You’re mulling it over when you realise your walking Ken doll is making toward his bedroom door, wallet clasped in one hand and phone in the other.  “Hey!  You’re leaving already?”  It’s polite surprise that colours your words, stare drawn to the screen of your iPhone.  It’s only 6 PM and the reservation isn’t for another hour.
There’s a sheepish look creeping over his features, painting itself in delicate strokes that you spy past the line of his smile, how the skin crinkles around his eyes.  For a moment, he’s the shy Jungkook you’d met in your store and not the one that now bleeds careful confidence, filling his little black book (read: phone contacts) with names as easily as he breathes.  “I was, uh, going to stop and get f-flowers.”  A silver-lined hand scrubs across his nape, dislodges the carefully styled waves he’s settled for.
Flowers, huh?  Well, that’s certainly something new.  Good for him, you think. 
“Jeon Jungkook, going all out.”  It’s heavy on the teasing, playful mockery lending a warmth to your words.  “She’s special.”
Which you’d figured, given he was seeing her.  Repeats were rare for him now that he’d learned how to weed out the bad seeds, held his hand a little closer to his heart (at least, sometimes).  Since he’d started dating again, this would be the first time he’d be going on a second date.  It’s a big deal. 
“Yeah—“  Nervousness sparks across his face, lights up his stare like the stars in the night sky.  “I guess she is.”
You smile fondly, like a proud mother.  “Go get ‘em, tiger.”  
“I will,”  he promises, looking so giddy it makes your heart swell ten sizes.  
You don’t even think anything of it as you follow him out of his room, bag of popcorn neatly rolled under your arm and your socks slid back into place.  It’s only when he levels you with a strange stare, pauses in the shrugging on of his coat, that you return his look.  “What?”
“Where are you going?”
“Leaving?”  
“Why?”
Wasn’t that the million dollar question?  
You don’t normally leave, usually waiting here at home for him until he returns to give you a rundown of his date (and the promised appetizer/dessert/whatever).  It feels somehow wrong to stay, though, as if you’re taking up space that doesn’t belong to you.  He’s going on a second date, after all.  Soon enough, he won’t need your help picking out clothes or deciding on a restaurant.  You won’t get to curl up on your usual corner of his sectional, wrapped up in the obnoxiously soft blanket you’d convinced him to buy one night while online shopping.
But it’s fine.  Totally, one hundred and ten percent fine.  The two of you are friends.  You’d always expected - anticipated, hoped - this day would come.  Baby boy was growing up. 
“Y’know.”  You answer a second too late and he’s still wearing that odd expression, handsome face flooded with something that looks like disappointment.  It flickers in the bits of his stare you can make out past his fringe, partially concealed by the dark silk that you know feels as soft as it looks.
“I know?”  He never tries to read your mind - knows it’s utterly useless.  
You wiggle your hand dismissively.  “Second date and all that.”  
Jungkook giggles - the same deceptively sweet sound he always makes - and finishes tugging his jacket on.  It fits him so well it should be illegal, falling to his knees and ending just shy of the intricate laces of his boots.  “Just stick around.  I’ll drive you home when I get back.”
It’s something he always does - his way of saying thank you for putting up with all of his first date jitters, his outfit changes, his worrying over how to first approach a girl on Tinder - so you don’t doubt him.  “Fine.  I’ll stay.”
He beams, caught halfway out the door.  “Tell me to break a leg.”
“Go break her back,”  you retort to the sound of his laughter.
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You’re almost asleep when your phone starts going off, the vibrations jolting you awake.  It rattles across the glass table, won’t shut the hell up until you’re slamming your hand atop it, glaring at the screen as it lights up with notifications.
It’s almost 2 AM and they’re from Jungkook.  This can only mean one thing.
from jeon jungkook:  Hey. from jeon jungkook:  I’m really sorry but I won’t be home tonight. from jeon jungkook:  If you want to stay over, I can drive you back in the morning. from jeon jungkook:  Please don’t be mad.
Leave it to him to apologise for getting his dick wet - to feel bad about having a successful second date.  It makes you laugh as you stare down at the texts, tap a quick response you know will have his heart racing.  (Even after months of friendship, it’s hard not to tease him just a little bit.)
to jeon jungkook:  i officially hate you
The typing notification gives him away immediately, but the moment you do the same, he stops.  Of course.  He hates confrontation - would rather leap off a cliff-face than deal with negative emotions.  (He’d told you that once, over a night of beer and fried tteok.)
to jeon jungkook:  it’s fine!  have fun! to jeon jungkook:  turn her world upside down 😏
He doesn’t answer after that but the read receipt pops up.  Good, you think.  About time he finds someone nice.  You wonder what she’ll be like when you meet her.  
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Jungkook’s third date comes with another third - you.
He drags you along to dinner, insisting there’s nothing at all weird about the fact.  He has to repeat it at least four times during the drive there, head nodding like a plastic bobblehead as he weaves in and out of traffic. 
“I want you to meet her,”  he mumbles, like that makes it better.  As if bringing a friend along to a date with that reasoning means it’s totally acceptable and not on the list of Hard No’s When Dating.
“Don’t you think that’s kind of weird?”  He’s too focused on changing lanes to answer you, signalling before seamlessly drifting over.  (He’s an impressively responsible driver, but that’s unsurprising.)  You repeat yourself.
“It’s not… weird.”  But you have a feeling that he knows how odd the request is.  Knows and doesn’t care, unfortunately.  “She wants to meet you too.”
(When had Jungkook turned into this person who argued with you?)
You somehow highly doubt that.  No girl in her right mind would leap at the chance to meet her potential beau’s wingwoman.  It’s something reserved for official status, when the foundation is set.  Still, you play into his hand, level him with a stare he should recognise.  It’s the one you throw his way any time he’s too nice, gives a mile when he shouldn’t even offer an inch.  (It doesn’t come as often anymore, but it still makes appearances once in a while.)  
“What does she even know about me?”
“That we’re friends.”  His vague response speaks volumes.  The look changes - grows into a glare that has him furtively peeking at you from the corner of his periphery.  When he speaks, it feels like a dead giveaway.  “That I really value your opinion.”
You groan, a noise so loud it rattles around in the car and interrupts the ballad playing through the speakers.
“She’s trying to figure out if I’m competition or not!”  Of course.  It’s obvious.  She wants to know what she’s getting into it before things get too serious, determine if her Prince Charming is really all that.  (He is.)  “I’m not coming to dinner.”  
“You’re already in the car,”  he reasons.  
You note he doesn’t deny your first statement, mouth rounding into a pout that should crush your resolve.  Instead, it drives you mad, irritation bubbling in your throat.
“I just won’t go in.”
“____,.”  When he says it like that, it’s hard to deny him.  Jungkook might not utilise his charms often but when he does, it’s lethal.  Undeniable with those dumb Bambi eyes of his.
“No.”
“____,,”  he repeats, almost pleading.  You can’t look at him.  You won’t.  The moment you do, you’ll be sucked into the swirling vortex that makes up his stare - a million pretty little lights caught in the brown of his iris, so many possibilities you’d lose yourself trying to explore them all.
You last a whole ten seconds before his staring becomes too much, those round eyes tracking you in the rearview mirror until you’re relenting, softening in the way that only he can cause. 
“Fine.”  You hate how it sounds rolling off your tongue, terse and a little pissed off.  You’re not actually mad.  Just worried.  You’ve seen situations like this play out - not that you’ve been in this position before - but female friends and potential girlfriends just don’t go hand-in-hand.  It takes a very special kind of person to facilitate a meeting this early and you are not that person.  You’re ragged edges, uneven temperament, distrust that you can’t help.
Jungkook knows that.  Should, anyway.  You’ve grown close over the last nearly half a year.  
When he mumbles a quiet sorry, turns to rest his chin against his knuckles as he drives, you know he means it.  He’d never put you in this position if it didn’t mean a lot to him - if his own happiness wasn’t somehow also on the line.  (Truthfully, it’s your fault.  All that self-love encouragement was coming back to bite you in the ass.)
You grumble an obligatory acceptance as the streetlights fly by.  You’ve got a reputation to uphold. 
“You’re paying for my dinner.”
“Of course.”
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How many times have you pictured this same situation, watched it unfold on your television screen as the protagonist gasps wildly, hand at their throat?  How many times have you laughed at the exchange, snickering into your palm as the romantic interest makes some wild declaration of love and wins the protagonist’s heart?
Answer:  you’ve lost count.
Still, it doesn’t prepare you to be thrust beneath the spotlight, half-dreaming and terribly confused.  
“What’re you doing here?”  At any other time, it might be as reproachful as you want, full of disapproval and sleepiness.  Here and now, it’s slurred speech and the lines of your pillow dug into the softness of your cheek, lashes dusted with sleep and breath freshly minted.
Jungkook’s oddly surprised, considering he’s appeared unannounced at your doorstep at the crack of dawn (not really).  “C-can I come in?”
You don’t budge.  It’s not because you’re about to say no, but because you’re still really tired.  So tired you stare at him for a moment too long, zoning out as you drink in his appearance.  He’s wearing the clothes from last night - the same animal-print silk shirt that hangs obscenely low and reveals too much skin.  You recognise it because you’d picked it out for his date.  
(The one where he was supposed to ask Jiwon to be his girlfriend, you fail to note.)  
You repeat yourself around a yawn, ignoring the way your vowels crash into each other and barely make it to the light of day.  “What’re you doing, Jungkookie?”
“Please let me in,”  the doe-eyed prince at your door mumbles, gaze bouncing somewhere beyond your shoulder, over your face, to the wayward strands that’re the result of sleeping too well.  Everywhere but your eyes.
“Fine,”  you huff, stepping back to allow him over the threshold.  You don’t miss the way he smells - his signature cologne and something else.  If you had to guess, it’s her perfume.  It’s distinctly floral, drawing you into a garden of roses.  You don’t know if you like it.
Without a second glance, you’re shuffling away from him, dragging your slippered feet into the kitchen.  
You move on autopilot, spooning coffee grounds into the Chemex filter.  You don’t bother asking whether your surprise guest wants any - assume he does, because the fiend somehow lives on caffeine - and settle against the counter as you wait for your kettle to whistle.
You’re still so tired you feel like you might fall asleep standing up but you think you do a good enough job of levelling Jungkook with a solid stare.  “So?”
“W-what?”  
It’s been so long since you’ve last heard his stutter that it surprises you, recentres your attention from your own exhaustion and has you frowning.  Something’s happened.  Must have.  There’s no other explanation for it - for how he looks at you, so uncertain like all those months ago when you’d smashed his glass house to pieces.
“What’s going on?”  You’re demanding, full to the brim with concern as you round on him.  He flinches away as if your words have burnt him, leaning into the stainless steel side of your fridge.  
(Silly Jungkook - that won’t protect you.)
“What do you mean?”
The early hour has, luckily, dampened your usual aggression.  He’s stalling, you can tell.  You hate when he does this.  You tell him as much, glowering at him as he tries to shrink his nearly six foot frame into something small.  “You’ve showed up at my house unannounced.  What do you mean ‘what do I mean’?”
He looks as if he’s on the brink of repeating himself, biting it back behind his neat white teeth when your expression grows darker, more frustrated.
It’s impossible to stay dressed in red, lethargy swathing you up like a cocoon and softening your edges.  You sigh heavily - perhaps a little overdramatically - and go about completing your coffee ritual.  Patience works best with Jungkook, you’ve learned.  (Though, he sorely tests your own sometimes.)
With a steaming mug in your hand and the other passed over to him, you gesture toward your living room.
He nods once - a small up and down of his head.  
“So.”  You try again, softer this time, warmed by the heat that permeates ceramic and settles your sleep-ravaged nerves.  You’re seated cross-legged on your couch, facing him with your back pressed to the arm rest.  He’s half-turned to you, coffee cup slotted between his thighs.  Feet turned in, mouth wobbling with the intensity of how hard he’s chewing into his bottom lip.
“I couldn’t do it.”  The words rush out too fast, tumble into each other in such a way you have to take a second to comprehend what he’s said.  Couldn’t do… it?
You stare at each other for a long while, you trying to understand and him refusing to meet your stare.  
When realisation dawns on you, you can only imagine how you look.  It must be terrifying by how Jungkook practically tries to crawl into the cushions of your couch, shoulders rising around his ears like a turtle.
“You didn’t ask her?”  It explodes out, a question that demands an answer. 
He’s staring past your head, unblinking.  You’d almost worry he was a robot if his voice weren’t so damned human, full of melancholy and rounded by his lisp.  “I c-couldn’t.  It was just…”  The shrug he offers is half-assed at best, not nearly good enough to excuse him.
“Just what?”  
“Just—”  There’s the wiggly hand gesture you do that he’s adopted, his ink-strewn hand waving through the air like a floppy chicken foot.  He thinks it’ll earn him a pass but your unrelenting glare indicates otherwise.  He deflates, hand falling back to his lap, clutching his mug like it's a makeshift security blanket.  “It didn’t feel right.”
What did that even mean?  Feel right?  
Love didn’t just appear, fully-formed and complete.  It took work and dedication and the understanding it could all come crashing down.  Didn’t he understand that?  Hadn’t you drilled that into his head?
You exhale through gritted teeth, push breath past enamel that acts like a solid steel gate.  
“Jungkook, it’s not going to just ‘feel right.’”  You’re air quoting, all tact thrown out the window.  “You like her, don’t you?”
You expect him to nod immediately.  He doesn’t. 
“Jungkook.”
“Yeah?” 
“You like her, right?”  
“I think so.”
You want to tear your own hair out.  Instead, you press the pads of your fingers into your temple - apply pressure in hopes of alleviating the tension that settles there.  “So, you like her.”  It feels a bit bad, condescending in a way;  you don’t mean it in any way but supportive.  You just want him to be happy.  “But you couldn’t ask her out because it didn’t feel right?”
“She’s not you.”  
He’s looking at you now, looks like he might have a heart attack if he does so any longer.  But he doesn’t tear his gaze away when you meet it, entire expression warped into something you don’t recognise.  Hope, maybe?  Fear?   
“What?”  You wish it were hard rather than feather light, almost lost to the cacophony in your head.
The hollow of his cheek is thrown into stark relief, the line of his jaw clenched tight.  He repeats himself even as you’re the one looking away, shaking your head as if that might will away the irksome answer.  (It won’t.)
“Don’t say things like that.”  
It’s hurt that flashes through his expression and strikes you right in the centre of your chest.  His face crumbles, brows knit together beneath his mop of shiny hair.  He looks so terribly sad - a kicked puppy, an abandoned deer.  Bambi, through and through.
“You asked why I didn’t do it,”  he reasons in a voice far more solid than he looks.
“I didn’t think you’d say something so ridiculous.”  It’s cruel.  “You’re making a bad choice.  You’re into this girl.  Don’t be dumb.”
His features rearrange, then so do his limbs, entire body lifting from his seat in jerky, disjointed movements.  “I’m not dumb.”  There’s a reproachful quality to his words, a distaste he doesn’t bother to mask.  It’s not something you’ve ever faced, surprising you enough to draw your eyes to his face.  
He doesn’t look like the Jungkook you know.  
When he leaves - sets his cup in the sink and storms out the way he’d come before you have time to stop him - you wonder if you ever knew him at all.
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“Okay.  Spill.”
Yejin’s tired of your abrasiveness, tired of having her head bitten off every time she tries to approach you with a question.  You can’t blame her.  You’ve felt like shit the last week, sleep-deprived and generally pissed off.  
All because of a doe-eyed idiot.  
“What?”  It’s less snark, more sigh.  You’re counting down the minutes until you’re free, until you can curl back up in your bed and try to sleep like you’ve done the last four days.  
“What’s going on with you?”  
“Nothing.”  
“Bullshit,”  she hums, trailing after you as you move behind the counter.  “You’ve been in a bad mood all week.  I’ve never seen you this upset like, ever.”  She’s right, of course.  You’ve always been very careful to keep business separate, pushing the customer service agenda no matter what.  “Did something happen?”  
You grit your teeth.  An expletive careens off your tongue when you slam the tip of your finger within the drawer you’d just shut.
“____,”  she tries again, concerned.  
“Nothing happened.”
“See, I don’t believe that because like, look at you!”  She gesticulates wildly, adorned wrists clinking loudly.  “You look like hell—”
“Thanks.”
“—and you’re being clumsy and like, I think I know you well enough.  So just tell me?”
You hate that she’s right.  It doesn’t mean you’ll relent, too caught up in your own strange brand of strength to unload.  (Maybe it’d be helpful.  Probably.  But you’ve never found comfort in other people.  At least, not like this.)
“Yejin.”  Her name stops her in her tracks, hurried and insistent as you pull your coat on.  “It’s fine.  Really.”  You’re swallowing your pride - practically choking on it - as you offer what you hope is a reassuring smile.  “I just need to get some sleep.”  And figure out what the hell to do about Jungkook, but that’s a can of worms you refuse to open and certainly not here.
Maybe at home, over a glass of wine, fueled by liquid courage.  
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The bottle of Côtes du Rhône has aided you more than you’d hoped, offered an armour that slinks over your shoulders and drives your fingers to action.  It’s prompted something - started the ball rolling.
(Idly, you think that might not have been a very good idea, but it’s too late to care now.)
“You’re here.”  You being him and him being Jeon Jungkook, hair damp and imposing frame draped in an oversized sweater.  He looks terribly uncomfortable standing in your doorway - more so than he had days ago - hands shoved into the kangaroo pouch of his hoodie, dumb sneakers pigeon-toed as if he’s ready to take flight.
“Y-you asked,”  he mutters, refusing to meet your stare.  At least, you think he’s refusing.  It’s a little hard to focus when there’s this fine film turning everything hazy, the bitter taste of wine heavy on your tongue.  
“I didn’t think you’d come.”
He looks at you like you’re crazy then, though he never quite meets your eyes.  It’s a smart tactic - level you with a look then immediately bounce it away.  It has you coming back for more, eager to refocus his fretful gaze until it’s locked with your own.
“Will you come in?”  You sidestep, give him enough space that he can enter without feeling suffocated.  He still hesitates, takes a second too long in deciding.  “I won’t bite.”
You don’t miss the better promise that comes under his breath.
“So.”  This feels oddly familiar, him backed into the corner of your couch again while you settle across from him.  He hums a noise but offers nothing further.  
This is how it’ll be then.  Fine.  If he wants to be this way.
“You like me.”
He sputters - doesn’t mean to, by how big his eyes go.  He hadn’t expected it to come barreling out of your mouth.  “I—  I don’t—  I didn’t say that.” 
If it were anyone but him, you’d take his reticence as rudeness.  
“Tell me why.”
The poor boy blinks, stares at you full on now.  Can’t look away, locked in the intensity of your stare.  
“W-what?”
“Tell me.”  You sip carefully at the liquid in your glass, swirl it ‘round and ‘round.  “You said that girl wasn’t me but you haven’t made a case as to why that matters.  What have I got that she doesn’t?”  
“You’re serious?”  
“As a heart attack, Jungkookie.”
The brunet swallows, Adam’s apple bobbing with the motion.  You think he might say no, outright refuse.  You don’t expect him to start rattling things off like the list lives in his head, answers printed against the darks of his eyelids.  
“You’re funny.  You’re honest.  You speak your mind.”  You don’t mean to scoff but his reasons are so shallow - so easily found in other people.  He must read the doubt in your expression, pushing on to cut you off from doing the same to him.  “Y-you care about people even when you pretend like you don’t.  You’re just as scared of being hurt as I am.”  
For the first time in a long time - in years and years - you feel seen.  As if he’s pulled back the cover of your unpublished draft, memorised the redlines and notes in the margins.  
“I don’t—”
“You have this face you make when you’re proud of me.”  He’s turning his own fingers over in his lap, knuckles white from the strain of locking them together and undoing them again.  “When I do something you approve of or when I make you laugh.”  
There’s something thick in your throat.  
“You make me want to try.”  He clears his own, speaks so softly you have to strain to hear it.  “Y-you make things not so scary.”  
It grows heavier, harder to breathe as you stare at the man sitting across from you.  He’s focused wholly on his hands, too caught up in his words to help the way he plucks at his skin, fiddles with the silver chain that loops around his wrist.
“You know what I need, even before I know myself.  You make me laugh.”  He laughs, an almost choked sound that fizzles and rattles bashfully. “You look really, really good in your work skirt.”  You know the one he means - all black, pencil-fit.  Makes your legs look a mile long, despite the fact that they aren’t.  
You can’t help but join him, a little breathless, with a strange sensation behind your ribs.  Like sunshine on a cold day, filtering past the walls you’ve put up, streaming through the windows that’d replaced drywall when Jungkook had waltzed into your life with his fluffy hair and boyish laugh.
When you speak, you don’t even believe your own words.  They come of their own accord - a defense mechanism.  “I can’t.”
As if he knows - as if he’s got a polygraph going, Jungkook shakes his head, meets your eyes and holds you there with the intensity of his attention.  “Can’t or won’t?”
“I—”
“I’m not asking for the world here.  Just a chance.”  He’s got a peculiar look on his face.  “Don’t you think you owe it to me?”
“Excuse me?” 
All of a sudden, he’s close.  Closer than you’d expect, far closer than he should be.  There’s nothing beyond his expression, the way his eyes twinkle under the dimmed apartment lights as he stares you down.  The scent of his cologne is cloying now, the fading nectarine hint of his shampoo making your mouth water.  
“You kind of ruined my life.  I think this makes us fair.”
You sputter, gasp, make sounds that careen off your tongue and fill the air with nonsense.  You’d ruined his life?  (You’d made it better - made him see the light, you thought.)  You’re working to find your voice, ready to tear into him for this abrupt accusation.
Then he’s giggling, nose scrunched and delight filtering past his teeth.  
“I’m kidding.”  
It feels like whiplash.  You’ve created a monster.  
“But you do owe me, I think.  So why not?”
You only have yourself to blame when you say yes, conceding to his pretty eyes and sweet smile.
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Dating Jungkook is easy - as effortless as breathing.  He’s a bona fide dreamboat plucked from your wildest dreams. 
He texts when he says he will and picks you up every night, stamping a kiss to your cheek the moment you’ve clocked out.  He holds your hand and refuses to let go, rubbing soothing circles over your wrist when you’re tired or stressed or annoyed.  He brings flowers to every date - insists on them even when you tell him they’re a waste of money.  He knows your coffee order, has learned the art of the pour over when he wakes up before you.  
You understand now, why he’d stayed with women who were terrible for him (to him).  If you were them, you wouldn’t have let him go either.  Would lock him up in an old tower like your own personal Rapunzel.
(You say that because you’ve been on a Disney movie binge.  He is, unsurprisingly, very into these sorts of things.)
“Open it,”  he pleads, pushing the luxurious pink box towards you.
You stare down at the lid, the Agent Provocateur label glaring back at you.  You can’t help how you laugh, sound bouncing around his bedroom.  “Are you trying to tell me something, Jungkookie?”
Your lover - not boyfriend, because you haven’t had the talk and it’s still new and you’ve never been this careful before - rolls his eyes, pushes the box closer with a huff.  It’s adorable.  
“Just open it.”
You finger the soft bow strapped across the top, play with the neatly cut ends.  You can feel the impatience radiating off Jungkook, feel those pretty doe eyes boring holes into the top of your head.  You take your time even more now, unravelling the ribbon with slow, measured twists of your wrist.  
Whatever you’d expected to find nestled among the tissue paper, this isn’t it.  
You’d imagined he’d be into something feminine, all pristine white lace and scalloped cups.  Something he could brush his cheek against, run his fingers over.  
Tucked within the box is something that doesn’t even earn the title of lingerie, a few flimsy straps bonded together.  Blush pink satin and dressed with buckles, you turn it over in your hands, trying to make sense of the way it all connects.  Surely there’s more to this.  Surely, darling innocent Jeon Jungkook doesn’t expect you to wear just this?
“Do you like it?”  You can sense the eagerness in his voice, that desire he has to please that seems to never go away.  
“What is it?”
“It’s a playsuit.”  
“A playsuit?”  You’re no stranger to experimenting in the bedroom but this— this looks like it’s meant to harness a dog in.  Would it even fit?  Soft as it is, it seems terribly restrictive, made for someone with model proportions and no body fat at all.
He nods, round eyes so bright, so hopeful, you can’t voice your concerns.  “Will you wear it?”
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It fits you better than you’d expected.  Or at least, you think it does.  If Jungkook’s reaction was any indication, it’s heaven sent - the perfect gift wrapping for a present he’s been dying to claim. 
The buckles you’d studied earlier - that had taken you too long to strap together - dig into the tender flesh of your hips, the shape of his fingers imprinted along the metal.  He grips you so tight you think you might bruise, left with a reminder of his love for weeks.
“S-so wet,”  he groans, sound dropping into an almost whine as the swollen mushroom head of his cock brushes through your folds.  The satin of the playsuit has been long since tugged aside, stained with your arousal as it cuts into the softness of your thighs.  He repeats the motion once, twice, coats your clit in pre-cum that leaks out of the slit and adds another layer of slick.  “So ready for me, aren’t you, sweetheart?”
You nod dumbly, drool around the two fingers he’s got slotted against your cheek, ring finger pressed down over your tongue.  
“Use your words, gorgeous.”  As if you can, as if you’re not riding the high of your last orgasm and about to come apart beneath his playful teasing.
The palm of his hand meets your overstimulated clit with a sharp smack, the cold of his teeth bared against your neck.  He doesn’t like when you don’t answer - much prefers to make an effort even if it’s indiscernible.
“What did I say?”  
Something garbled comes, a plea as much as a sob.  Another hit lands, just shy of the pearl that throbs with need and pain, landing instead on the sensitive, already red skin of your inner thigh.  He soothes it this time around, massages your own wetness into the roses that bloom beneath his touch.
When he speaks again, it’s so utterly sweet, tender as can be.  The Jungkook you’ve known for months and not the devil in disguise.  
“You like this, don’t you?”  His kisses are searing, laced with reverence that feels at odds with the way he forces your gag reflex, taps his curved cock against your pussy.  “You like what I’m doing?”
“Y-yes,”  you cry, spit pooling past the sides of your mouth, dripping lewdly across your breasts.  The hand cradling your chin is all but drenched, dark ink thrown into stark relief by the way it slides over his skin.  Jungkook hums against your cheek, licks a fat stripe from shoulder to ear.  
“Good girl.”  Two fingers spread across over your heat, pointer and index sliding over your lips.  You’re spread obscenely - can see it in the mirror that rests against the far wall.  Can see how the head of his cock peeks between your thighs, runs the same path over and over with each languid, slow roll of his hips.  “Such a good girl for me.  My perfect girl.”
Your shoulders shake with the effort you put into nodding, throat clenching on reflex when the three fingers in your mouth flatten over your tongue, hold you steady in place.
“Pretty girl wants more, doesn’t she?  Wants me to fill her up?”
He’s teasing you, the bastard.  Dragging his aching erection against your cunt as you writhe against him, desperate.  It’s amusing to him - you can read the delight in the reflection, see it shining bright like a beacon when he pulls his hand away and recentres it across your chest.  Digits tease at the already pebbled buds, swollen and sensitive from how hard he’d sucked them into his mouth earlier.
“Say it.  Say you want me.”
You do, without hesitation, without fear.  You know he’ll catch you.  “I want you.”  
He sinks into you the same instant the words fall, holds you tight against him when your entire body begins buzzing and threatens to do the same.  Your walls feel like a vice grip around him, greedily sucking in his cock as he slams home, ruts into you like a wild animal.  
Strong as he is, he’s weak to the noises you make - the broken sobs that spill off your tongue and make up the prettiest sound he’s ever heard - and how you feel absolutely perfect, wet and warm.  The muscle in his thighs strain, pleasure vibrating up the notches of his spine, setting every nerve ending alight with its ascent.
“B-be mine,”  he returns, practically begging as he spreads you wide, making you take everything he has to offer.  Heart and soul and stupidly huge, perfect cock.
“I am.  I am.  I am,”  you chant, tears welling along your lash line.  They fall when his rhythm stutters, when the heat overwhelms and you’re coming for the third time that night, crying his name like it’s the only word you know.  
They continue to pour, carve trails down your reddened cheeks as you reach nirvana, wait for moment he’s right there with you.  It doesn’t take long - a few more punishing thrusts into your fluttering heat - and then he’s found his bliss, crying into the silk of your hair, spilling inside you. 
It doesn’t happen how you thought it would - a shy question poised over dinner, sealed with a sweet kiss on the way to the car - but it means just as much.  Breaks you apart as it rebuilds you, fills you up as it splits your seams.
You’re his and he’s always been yours. 
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tag list.  @neverthefirstchoice @youwannabelostandnotbefound @snackhobi @codeinebelle @shaybtsforever @we-found-wonderland-in-1989 @justanothergirlfromeurope @jalexad @bonnyskies @coffeeismylife28 @haeilove @purplespaceymermaid @sunsetsnsirens-blog @beingbeings​ @veronawrites​ @notmontae97​ @papillonsgf​ i’m really hoping i didn’t miss anyone e___e
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charmingyong · 3 years
Text
Only Fate Can Tell
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Prologue
Genre: Jaehyun x fem!reader, adorable bestfriend!Taeyong x Irene, marriage, fluff, slowburn, humour, angst
Warnings: slowburn, brief mention of mental health, babysitting children, alcohol consumption, awkward feelings, unrequited love, blinded by assumed thoughts,  an idiot to not acknowledge the feelings of love, suggestive at the end
Word count: 16k
Plot: You didn’t want to marry, but your parents were keen to find you a life partner considering your age. After numerous failed attempts of finding an alliance because you rejected all the potential ones after first meeting, your parents gave you a warning if you rejected yet another one. Therefore, much to your dismay, you chose to give Jung Jaehyun a chance.
A/N: This is a story of what happens before the marriage takes place (i.e. no married life scene in this part, and I will be writing a sequel). A few scenes were inspired by ‘The Return of Superman’ show. There’s a small surprise for Jaeyong stans. Songs of inspiration: Jaehyun’s I Like Me Better (Lauv), Love Me Now (NCT 127). Disclaimer: Taeyong x Irene is only for a fictional purpose in this story. If triggered, do not read this.
Gif: mine
© 2021 charmingyong.
- ❀ -
You dragged your feet to the entrance of the top floor restaurant, your palms getting sweaty as the doors slid open, making you hear the soft music more clearly. You were nowhere near interested in the blind date that your parents had set you up with. Even though you were itching to not show your face to the unfortunate man that had to see you, you didn’t have the heart to have your date be stood up by you.
You made eye contact with a female greeting you upon entry into the elegant establishment. “Hello ma’am. Do you have a reservation?”
“Yes, his name is Qian Kun.”
“Ah yes, please come this way.” She led you past the tables with light chatters, and you reached the end of the room where a man sat looking out the floor-to-ceiling windows at the miniature vehicles zooming on the highway.
“Sir, your date has arrived.”
Kun pried his eyes away from the window and towards you, a smile taking its place on his face. “Hello Miss Y/N. Please have a seat.” He gestured to the empty chair across him.
You nodded, timidly sitting down with your eyes wandering everywhere except on his.
“Would you like anything for starters?” he asked you gently.
You pursed your lips and shook your head. “Um, I need to tell you something.”
His lips formed an ‘oh’ and signaled for the server to leave you momentarily. “Yes, what is it?”
You took a deep breath in. “I only came here because my parents have been pestering me nonstop to get married. I’m really sorry but I’m not interested in marriage. It has nothing to do with you. It’s just me and I’m really sorry about that.”
Kun nodded, smiling tenderly at you. “I completely understand. I’m also here for that same reason.”
Your eyes widened slightly. “You too?”
“Yes. I actually want to focus on my career, and so I was hoping to get married like a few years from now. Definitely not now,” he spoke his last words quietly.
You smiled. “Well, I’m glad we’re both on the same boat. So I guess I’ll be going then since there’s no point for me to be here now,” you chuckled nervously.
He shook his head. “Please don’t. It’d be a shame to have you leave here with an empty stomach. This can just be a friendly dinner. That’s if you don’t mind, of course.”
You couldn’t say no to his kind eyes, especially when he was being a gentleman. “A friendly dinner it is.”
- ❀ -
You rang the doorbell and waited for a few seconds. The door flung open, revealing a smiling Irene. “Y/N! How did it go?” she beamed, excited to hear the details.
“You know the answer to that.” You took off your shoes and walked inside the clean spacious condo. Your eyes landed on little Aera who was on her four and you cooed, running up to her. You picked her up, cradling her tiny body in your arms and smooching a number of kisses all over her face. In return, Aera squealed happily from the sudden love attack.
Irene sighed. “You seriously did it again? Not give him a chance?”
You sat down on the couch with Aera on your lap. “Well, we did have a friendly dinner. And besides, he wasn’t interested in marriage either and he wanted to focus on his career.”
She crossed her arms in front of her chest. “You got saved this time, but it might not happen again. I don’t know how many times your parents are going to let it slide until they’ve had enough and force you into an arranged marriage.”
You cocked an eyebrow at her. “Isn’t this arranged anyway? Having to go on blind dates that they set me up with?”
“Yeah but you have a choice right now to say yes or no. What if next time you don’t get so lucky and they get fed up with you having to constantly reject every single one, and they force you into a marriage without your consent?”
You stilled, staring at Aera’s joyful face. Irene was right. There was a chance that you might not be lucky one day and be forced into a marriage without love. But you wanted to trust your parents that they’d let you choose your partner, no matter how long it’d take.
- ❀ -
You drove to your next blind date a few days later. Your hands gripped the steering wheel tightly as you ground your teeth, remembering back to your parents’ words the previous night. Even though your head was heated, you tried to focus on the calming music that played from the audio system in your car, safely driving down the streets without any road rage.
You parked the car in the near vacant lot and stepped out. The date was held yet again at a luxurious restaurant and you sighed.
At least it’s not as expensive looking like the past ones, you thought.
You grasped the golden handle and pushed it open. The lighting wasn’t too bright, just dim enough to create a cozy ambiance.
“Hello madam, are you F/N L/N?” The male inquired.
Bewildered, you nodded. “Yes. How did you know?”
He smiled politely. “The entire restaurant is currently booked for Mister Jung Jaehyun.”
You looked around and indeed found it unoccupied of customers, only spotting a male figure at the opposite end of the place, his back facing you at a table.
“Please come this way.”
You followed, your legs becoming heavier with every step and your heart pounded in your chest.
Please let everything go well with him, you prayed silently.
The server pulled out your chair and you sat down without giving your date a glance. Once you were settled, you then looked up and your breathing halted momentarily.
His soft eyes were trained on you, along with a smile accompanied by dimples so handsome that you almost swooned.
But good looks aren’t going to mean anything if there’s no love, you thought.
“It’s really nice to meet you, Y/N,” he greeted warmly.
You forced a smile out of courtesy. “Same here, Jaehyun.”
- ❀ -
“So how’s Jaehyun?” your mother asked with an vibrant smile.
You sighed. “Okay I guess.”
“So it’s a yes then,” your father stated.
You almost glared at him. “The date was okay. I didn’t feel anything with him.” Your palms were clenched tightly while you tried to slow your breathing down.
“Oh sweetie, you don’t have to feel anything for him. Love doesn’t have to happen right now. And Jaehyun’s a good boy. I’m sure he’ll make you happy,” your mother said.
You groaned quietly. “What if love never happens? He can’t make me happy if I don’t love him.”
“Your mother and I didn’t have any love in the beginning, but we learned to care for each other.”
“Caring is not the same as love.”
His hard gaze was locked on you. “It is.”
Grinding your teeth, you could never beat your father with his words.
Your father mentioned beforehand that if the date with Jaehyun also failed, then he was going to force you in a relationship with a man that you wouldn’t see until the day of the wedding. This meant that you were now, technically, arranged to marry Jaehyun.
You were at an age where your friends and relatives were already married, even having children. Your parents viewed societal expectations more important than your own, and so that resulted in you having to go on numerous blind dates with you fully prepared to turn down every single guy no matter what. You wanted to marry someone that you would love, and all the dates that your parents had set you up with were of men that met their ideal type as their future son-in-law.
The date with Jaehyun felt more awkward than with any previous ones. That was because with Jaehyun, you weren’t just there ready to reject him in the face as politely as possible, but you were trying to accept him as your future husband. While that would be something teenage you would squeal about in high school, you cringed greatly at that in your twenties. Your teenage self always dreamt of a grand wedding with the love of your life. But growing up, you accepted the reality. Not everyone was lucky to meet their love and the fact that you hadn’t met yours made you pessimistic.
Pessimistic that love wasn’t written in your fate.
So far, Jaehyun did seem like an okay guy and you could only wish that your feelings would grow for him, especially before the marriage date. Nothing about him upon first meeting had you dreading of a thing that you didn’t like in him. But... “Can I please seriously ask you something without you two being biased?”
Your parents looked a each other, embracing themselves for what you had to inquire. “Sure sweetie, what is it?”
You gulped down the bump forming in your throat. “What if I find out something bad about him before the wedding, or something I don’t like in him? Do I have to force myself to be with him still?” you asked with a puppy look to make your parents grow soft for you and agree.
A brief silence was what you were met with as they silently conversed with one another through their eyes. Your father released a long breath afterwards. “You have up until the time before the wedding invitations are distributed to give me a reason why you shouldn’t marry Jaehyun. And it must be a valid reason.”
- ❀ -
“Tae, are you even listening to me?”
His gaze was lowered onto the floating strawberries that swam around in his drink. “Yeah I am.” He took a long sip and smiled, humming in satisfaction. “Are you going to eat your pastry?”
You crossed your arms and leaned back in your seat. “You’re clearly not. My future is on the line and you want my pastry? You’re not even reacting to whatever I’m saying.”
He lifted his doe eyes onto you. “I am. But based on whatever you just said, the date didn’t sound like it went necessarily bad. All that happened was small talk and you two were silent most of the time.”
Your jaw dropped. “So now your gonna be on my parents’ side? Just because we were mostly silent doesn’t mean it didn’t go bad. What if we’re going to be like this after marriage? I can’t handle this awkwardness, Tae!”
“I’m not saying that I’m siding with your parents but give Jaehyun a chance. It was only the first meeting so obviously it’s going to feel awkward. Plus, based on the picture you showed me, he’s good looking.”
You blinked. “So?”
He shrugged, looking innocently at you. “Cute babies?”
“Shut up Lee Taeyong!”
He laughed, his head falling backward.
You sighed. “I can’t believe this. Why am I being forced into a marriage? Can’t they let me choose my partner?”
“They have been letting you for years, but you kept putting it off, Y/N.”
“Because I didn’t find the love of my life? I don’t like my parents’ choices where they always choose the one with money. I don’t want to marry a guy who’s only good with first impression but ends up being boring after marriage. I wanna meet someone like you, Tae. You’re so easy to love.”
Taeyong giggled. “I’m sure there are better guys out there than me.”
You rolled your eyes. “Please, you’re literally like the biggest cutest sweetheart on earth. I can’t even imagine someone beating your level. Irene is so lucky. If you didn’t fall in love with her, I would have asked for your hand in marriage,” you joked.
He shook his head, laughing hard. “Stop! You’re too much, Y/N. But don’t assume that all guys your parents try to set you up with are going to be boring. You don’t know the charms that Jaehyun’s carrying and before you know it, you’ll be falling for him.”
You sighed heavily. “Sounds too good to be true.”
He smiled sincerely. “Leave it up to your fate.” He looked behind you at the display case of the various baked goods before looking at your untouched pastry again. “So are you eating that or not?”
A smile tugged at your lips and you pushed your plate towards him. “Eat up. You need it more than me to keep up with the little angels in your home.”
After Taeyong devoured the chocolate tart, you both stepped out of the coffee shop with plans of heading over to the movies.
“I wish Irene could come with us, but the kids...” you trailed off.
Aera was only 9 months old and there was no way that little bundle would sit quietly for two hours unless she dozed off. Even if the problem was solved with Aera, Jinae was a year older and she was quite a curious and an energetic one. Though not more than Chunghee, the 4-year-old boy who was at the perfect age to be labeled as the troublemaker in the household.
“When I watch over the kids, you and Irene can have your girls night out. Or day, whatever time of the day it is.”
“Please make a vlog. I wanna see you struggle.”
Taeyong laughed. “Sorry to disappoint you but they love me more than Irene so they’re always listening to me.”
You rolled your eyes. “Maybe they’re scared of you.”
He clicked his tongue. “I’m sure they’re scared of Irene.”
You giggled. “I can see that being the case more.”
After paying for the tickets, you and Taeyong walked in the direction of the designated auditorium. Halfway through, Taeyong halted. “Awe man!”
“What is it?”
“I want sweet potato chips. But the vending machines aren’t here anymore,” he pouted.
You pondered for a bit, recalling back to the food counter by the entrance. “I think I saw them selling it at the front.”
His eyes brightened. “Really? Okay stay right here. I’ll be back soon.” He sprinted off in the next second, leaving you amused by his usual childlike behaviour. You pulled your phone out to entertain yourself for the time being.
“Y/N?” A deep voice called out your name and you looked up to find the man that you were unexpectedly seeing for the second time. Your body tensed hearing his voice again, and your heart skipped a beat when your eyes landed on his outfit. It was nice to see Jaehyun wear denim, something outside of the formal attire at the restaurant. In his hands was a container full of popcorn.
“Oh Jaehyun. What a surprise,” you awkwardly chuckled.
He grinned at you. “It is. Are you here alone?”
You shook your head. “No, my friend went to get some snacks. Are you?”
“My friend had to go do something. I was waiting for him until I saw you from the distance.”
Right on cue, a tall man appeared beside Jaehyun and genuinely smiled at you. “Oh, hi there. I’m Johnny.”
You gave him a tight smile. “I’m Y/N.”
His eyes went wide. “Y/N?” He turned to Jaehyun and repeated. “Y/N?” Johnny raised his eyebrows incredulously. He received a nod from Jaehyun and faced you again. “Oh my goodness. I heard about you and it’s seriously a pleasure to meet you.”
“Huh?”
He laughed at your puzzled expression while Jaehyun avoided your gaze nervously, his cheeks dusting pink. “It’s nice to see Jaehyun talk about something other than his work. He’s so devoted to his work that he sometimes forgets to chill out.”
Your heart fell at his words.
Devoted to his work.
You were not into men who were so passionate about their work that they’d forget about their well being. And not just well being, but they’d spend less time with their significant other.
Taeyong used to be like that until Irene was diagnosed with postpartum depression. He then took time off from work for Irene’s recovery. With his full attention on her and taking care of their first-born, Irene fully recovered with the prescribed treatments and Taeyong’s love, and you were relieved that the illness didn’t come back with Jinae and Aera.
You weren’t necessarily afraid of what happened to Irene. Taeyong had to get back to work after Irene’s recovery and they were able to pull through because there was love and understanding between them. There was no love between you and Jaehyun, and so your relationship, whatever little there was, had to depend on understanding one another. And that was going to be difficult when you weren’t interested in the man.
You pursed your lip, anxiously waiting for your friend’s return.
And finally he did with three bags of chips in his arms. “Sorry I took long. Oh! Jaehyun, right? Hi, I’m Taeyong. And you must be his friend, am I right?” he asked the taller one, shaking his hand.
“Yes, the name is Johnny. Nice to meet you, Taeyong. And boy, you have some strength.” Johnny was always the one with the most amount of strength. Therefore, having to meet someone who possessed nearly the same amount was impressive to him.
Taeyong chuckled. “Well I definitely do need it when having to look after my kids.”
It was a coincidence that the other two were there to watch the same movie as you. Taeyong suggested for them to sit with you two, and you sent your friend a small glare to which he responded with a smirk.
That was how you ended up sitting beside Taeyong and Jaehyun, squirming a little in your seat. During the advertisements, you noticed a popcorn container being offered to you by none other than your future husband. And you felt a slight pang in your heart.
“Sorry but I don’t like popcorn,” you admitted.
He was taken aback slightly before nodding and placed his popcorn on his lap, all while avoiding your gaze. You felt a bit bad. He was trying to be nice to you, but you weren’t going to force yourself to eat something that you weren’t a fan of.
Right after, Taeyong offered you his snack. You loved sweet potato chips, being the one to actually introduce it to your friend and you were proud to have him addicted to them. You took hold of the bag entirely, hearing a whine from him. You munched on the chips and hummed happily.
Jaehyun observed this and felt a stab of jealousy.
- ❀ -
“Jinae!” you beamed at the little girl waddling up to your open arms. You picked her up and swung her around in circles, making her laugh cheerfully.
“Wow Jinae, you really betrayed papa for Y/N auntie,” Taeyong sulked.
You stuck your tongue out playfully at him and pecked Jinae on her squishy cheek.
Chunghee ran up to his dad, crying with teary eyes. “Aigoo, what happened?” Taeyong kneeled down to meet his son’s level.
“Mama force me fruits!” he wailed.
Taeyong closed his eyes. “I should have known Ten uncle was going to be a bad influence on you,” he muttered.
“I can’t believe you trusted Ten with Chunghee. Wasn’t it only for an hour?”
He nodded in response and wiped the little boy’s tears away, kissing his forehead and picking him up with his strong arms. He carried Chunghee off to the bedroom while you sat down on the couch with Jinae in your lap.
“Don’t become like your brother and eat fruits, okay? Don’t stress your papa out.”
“Eung,” she responded in promise. You smiled at her and ruffled her hair, earning a smile from the baby.
Your phone vibrated in your pocket, moving Jinae down beside you. You pulled it out that displayed Jaehyun’s name on the screen. Right after the movie ended, you bid Jaehyun and his friend a quick bye and dragged Taeyong out the theaters, not giving a chance for small talk.
You hesitantly answered the call and pressed the phone against your ear. “Hello?”
“Hi Y/N,” he greeted softly. “Are you busy tomorrow?”
You chewed on your bottom lip, guessing where that question would lead to.
A date.
As much as you wanted to lie and avoid him, it ultimately wasn’t going to do any good for anyone, including yourself. Spending more time with him meant more opportunities to find a flaw in him.
“Um, yeah- I mean no! I’m not free- I mean I AM free... tomorrow. Haha.” You wanted to slap yourself in the head.
If it weren’t for the silence on both ends, you would have missed the almost inaudible giggle from him. “Can I come pick you up tomorrow around lunchtime? For a date?”
“Sure, yeah, sounds great,” you smiled awkwardly.
“Great. I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N.”
Once the call ended, you were ready to chuck your phone across the room before tossing it next to you and slumped against the couch, physically cringing at how the conversation went. Jinae curiously watched you, her baby lips forming an ‘oh’ followed by her eyes crinkling in amusement.
- ❀ -
The doorbell rang to your home, which your mother giddily ran up to the front. A smiling Jaehyun was revealed on the other side who held a bouquet of warm-coloured flowers.
“Hello Mrs. L/N.”
“Jaehyun! Lovely to see you. Come on in now,” she ushered him inside.
Jaehyun’s eyes wandered around the interior design of the house, catching sight of the wall with framed photos of your life, ranging from your birth to your graduation. The smile tugging at his lips was enough to have your mother beam at him.
“Y/N has always been such as adorable girl. Isn’t she pretty?” She cooed at the pictures of little you laugh towards the camera, your pupils hidden behind your closed eyelids.
Jaehyun felt something in his heart. When he first saw you at the restaurant, he thought you were more beautiful in person. The surprise encounter at the movies had his heart skipping a beat. Standing in front of a collage containing various stages of your life made his heart flutter, feeling butterflies in his stomach. He really liked you and wished everything would go well with this marriage.
“She’s beautiful,” he replied with sparkling eyes.
You stood hidden away behind a wall, eavesdropping. To say you felt embarrassed was an understatement. You cringed on the inside every time someone walked into the house and stared at your pictures. You never liked the idea, but you didn’t have a say in it as it was your parents’ house after all.
To hear your future husband call you beautiful after seeing those photos had heat threatening to burn your cheeks and a warm feeling spread in your chest.
“Jaehyun, can I ask you something?” your mother asked.
“Of course.”
She swallowed before parting her lips. “You see, Y/N’s been trying to put off her marriage for a while and I’m not sure exactly how she’s treating you.”
He nodded, comprehending her words clearly. During the first date, he noticed your jitteriness and near lack of liveliness to continue the conversation as if you weren’t interested in him at all, and that hurt him. To see you interact with your friend in a brighter manner made him jealous. Jealous that you wouldn’t see him like the way you would with Taeyong. Though he understood that your relationship with him was new and he was willing to give you all the time you needed to become comfortable with him one day.
“While her father and I made her give you a chance, you’re not obligated to be forced into this marriage if you’re not happy. If you ever want to back out, I ask you to do it only because you’re feeling that way. Not because of Y/N. I really think you’re a perfect match for her and I’m sure it’ll take time before you can fully win her heart.”
You gulped upon hearing your mother say all that to Jaehyun. This meant that if Jaehyun didn’t like something about you, he could back out of the alliance. Your brain celebrated in near victory that it wasn’t going to be a fully forced marriage, as both the bride- and groom-to-be had your voices free, increasing the chances for either of you to call off the wedding.
“I understand. Don’t worry. I’ll take good care of Y/N,” Jaehyun assured.
You stepped out, walking up to where they both stood. He caught sight of you and sent you a charming smile, his dimples on full display.
You on the other hand grew curious of the bouquet in his grasp. He realized what you were staring at and grew flustered.
“Oh sorry!” He seemed like he was in a dilemma, whether to hand the bunch over to you or your mother, opting for the latter. “I-I brought these for your home,” he stuttered with the tips of his ears turning red.
Your mother giggled at his behaviour. “Oh thank you, Jaehyun. I thought you were giving those to Y/N. Seems like you got distracted by pictures of baby Y/N,” she teased.
Both yours and Jaehyun’s cheeks burned at your mother’s words.
After saying bye to your mother, Jaehyun beat you to opening the passenger door, holding it wide open for you to get in. You thanked him with a tight smile.
He had one hand on the steering wheel while the other fumbled around with the stereo, a song played softly in the background as he focused both on the road and on your tensed figure.
“I know this ramen place if you’re interested,” he spoke after some time.
You remembered mentioning to him in your small talk that you loved to eat ramen. Having him remembering the small detail made you feel a spark inside. “Ramen sounds great.” And what felt like the first time when being with Jaehyun, a small smile slowly spilled onto your face, not going unnoticed by the one beside you.
After two sets of bowls arrived at your table, your eyes drunk in the beautiful arrangement of the toppings on the noodles. You were about to pick up your chopsticks until Jaehyun stopped you. “Don’t touch yours just yet.”
You blinked at him confusedly yet stilled.
Grabbing his chopsticks in each hand, he worked with his bowl, mixing the pieces of vegetables and meats into the broth, folding the noodles on top. Once done, he laid down the chopsticks in its holder and switched his touched bowl with your untouched one.
You stared at your meal, surprised that such a simple action had your insides squealing with a fuzzy feeling. “Thank you,” you muttered, a bashful smile tugging at your lips.
He felt pleased with himself to make you feel that way and hoped he could continue doing so in the future. “No problem.”
Both of you dug into your noodles, slurped up the remaining broth once finished. You were glad that Jaehyun brought you for a casual lunch where you didn’t have to worry about manners and etiquettes as that sort of stuff did not go with ramen.
He later suggested a walk in the park in order to digest your full bellies. The weather was perfect, the sun blazing down onto your head and you were glad to have chosen a light-coloured outfit. Summer was nearing and soon enough, you were craving for a frozen dessert.
“Do you want something refreshing?” Jaehyun asked, almost like he read your thought.
“That sounds nice. Ice cream?” You pointed at the ice cream stall from afar.
He followed your finger and turned back to you, dimples reappearing. “Sure. Let’s go.”
Both your steps were synced, and he craved to hold your dangling hand. Craved to have his first ever physical touch with you. But he was worried if it was too soon and clenched his hands into fists to stop himself.
Approaching the stall, you read the long list of flavours, cheering internally when reading your favourites. “I’ll have a scoop of cherry and green tea each.”
Jaehyun turned to you with a look of mild surprise. “You like green tea?”
His face was unreadable so you couldn’t figure out whether he liked that or not. “Yeah, I love green tea. Why?”
He blinked before forming a blinding smile. “I love green tea too.”
After the ice cream date, Jaehyun drove you back home, parking his car in front of your house. He was surprised to see his parents’ vehicle in the driveway. “My parents are here.”
You nodded wordlessly. Your parents didn’t mention anything about a meet up between the two families. They only knew that you were going out with Jaehyun. “Let’s both go in.”
When you strolled into the living room with Jaehyun behind you, laughter was heard as the folks shared stories of you two.
“What’s going on?” you asked.
The eyes of a woman, who you assumed was Jaehyun’s mother, lightened up. “Oh Y/N! It’s so nice to finally meet you.” She pulled you into a crushing hug, which you tried to reciprocate with your locked arms.
“Same here,” you chuckled breathlessly.
She pulled back and beamed at you, eager to spill the breaking news. “We finalized your engagement date.”
All the colour had drained from your face and you took a quick side glance at your parents. They knew that you weren’t going to be happy with the news and had hidden it from you. “When?” you asked.
You were somewhat glad that the woman in front of you didn’t notice your fallen face. “In two weeks. And after that happens, we’ll decide on the marriage date.”
This was happening way too fast for your liking. Even though it was just an engagement, why were they so eager for it to happen quickly? “Isn’t two weeks a little too early? We’re still trying to get to know each other,” you reasoned.
Your future mother-in-law’s excitement didn’t falter the slightest bit. “Nonsense. I’ve heard that this is your third time seeing each other. And I’m sure that if you keep meeting up, you’ll have a better idea of each other by the time of the engagement. Plus, the date falls on my birthday and it would mean the world if my gift happened to be my son’s and future daughter-in-law’s engagement.”
You understood her feelings, and she was right. Two weeks should give you a better idea of Jaehyun, give you time to grow your feelings for him if you could. And it was only an engagement. A marriage in two weeks would have been more devastating.
You stared long at your father, silently pleading for him to still remember the condition set. Sensing that he knew what your eyes were trying to convey, he simply gave you a curt nod. Meanwhile, Jaehyun met your mother’s hopeful gaze, who offered him a tight smile, wishing that everything would go well between him and her daughter. You noticed your mother’s eyes being trained behind you and turned to the man. He observed the worried expression plastered on your face, his heart breaking a little at the thought of you not being excited for the marriage like the way he was.
- ❀ -
“Y/N! Please be our angel and help us out,” Taeyong pleaded over the phone.
“Of course I will. Why wouldn’t I?”
A moment of silence before he replied, “Because of what I’m about to suggest to you?”
After the phone call ended, you lied down on your bed, not believing your fate. Though it wasn’t actually all fate. This was Taeyong partly trying to play cupid.
Both Taeyong and Irene had to go out of town for the entire weekend, including their parents. But children were not allowed at the event, and their babysitter also happened to fall ill, leaving them with no other backup than have you look after the three children. You had never taken care of three children at once and he knew you were going to need a helping hand. And that was when Taeyong suggested that you babysat the three with Jaehyun.
Your fingers hovered over the screen before pressing on Jaehyun’s number. You had met up with him the past week, for casual hangouts and meals. Yet nothing much had happened in terms of you growing feelings for the said man. The engagement was exactly a week away, and you accepted your fate of having to wear a silver ring as you failed to find a flaw in him.
“Y/N?” Jaehyun sounded quite surprised that you called him for the very first time when it had always been him initiating it.
“Haha yes, it’s me.” You really wanted to hit yourself for still sounding awkward with him. “I actually called to ask you... like are you busy this weekend? I mean including overnight.”
“No, I’m not busy. What is it?”
“Are you okay to babysit kids with me?”
“Kids? Well yes, but whose kids are you talking about?” Jaehyun was ecstatic to spend the weekend with you, even if it meant having to look after some children. He was good with children and hoped he could get closer to you through this.
“They’re Taeyong’s kids. Remember Taeyong the one you met at the movies? Him and his wife are going to be away for the weekend, and he asked me to babysit them with you because there’s three of them. It’s for two days and we’ll have to stay at their house overnight. Is that okay?”
I am more than okay with the plan! Jaehyun thought. But to not scare you, he pushed down the excitement bubbling in his chest and calmly answered, “Yeah that’s fine. No worries.”
- ❀ -
Before you could even ring the bell, the door opened, revealing an overly joyful Taeyong. He threw himself on you, hugging you tightly and you laughed at him. He did the same to Jaehyun, flustering him greatly. “Thank you so much for coming, Jaehyun. Come in and leave your bags over here.”
Putting down your duffel bag to the side, you found Irene sitting on the couch with Aera in her baby walker. The baby squealed upon seeing you, bouncing on her tiny knees. “Hi Jaehyun. Thank you so much for helping out. I’m Irene.”
Jaehyun smiled at her. “Nice to meet you, Irene. And it’s no problem at all.” Taeyong led Jaehyun to the kitchen to explain the procedures that you had already memorized from the numerous times you had visited them.
“You two are literally our lifesavers,” Irene said to you.
You laughed. “It’s nothing. I’m sure it’s going to be fun with the kids.” And not as awkward with Jaehyun around, you thought.
She shook her head. “We’re leaving you two with a challenge, and Chunghee is going to be a real troublemaker for that.”
After an hour later, Taeyong and Irene finally left after placing a ton of kisses all over their youngest daughter. Aera was the only one awake at that time while the other two slept. Once you locked the door, you turned around to find Jaehyun introducing himself to the little one.
“Hi Aera, my name is Jaehyun, but you can call me Jae uncle. Let’s be friends, hmm?” Aera bounced on her knees again, beaming at him and did her signature baby laugh.
The adorable interaction between Jaehyun and the baby girl made your heart melt.
Shortly before a loud wail was heard down the far end of the hall.
“Oh that sounds like Jinae. I’ll go get her,” you said. Jaehyun gave you a nod complemented with a smile. Aera let out a high-pitched shriek to grab the uncle’s attention again.
On your way to Jinae, Chunghee sprinted past you into the living room, his doe eyes searching for his parents and instead was met with an unknown man sitting beside his sister.
“You must be Chunghee, right?” The little boy nodded with confusion written on his face. “I’m Jaehyun. Jae uncle you can call me.”
“Where’s mama and papa?”
“They already left. They’ll be back tomorrow.”
Chunghee hummed and walked over to the uncle, sitting beside his sister. “Are you auntie’s boyfwiend?” he asked.
The curiosity had pink paint over Jaehyun’s cheeks. He didn’t know what to call the relationship to a four-year-old. “Not boyfriend exactly but we’re getting married.”
Chunghee blankly stared at Jaehyun. “Do you like each other?”
Jaehyun’s breathing halted for a second. “Um, yeah but not really. I mean- I like her, but I don’t know what she feels.”
You walked back in the room, noticing a calm Chunghee trying to process something into his small developing brain, while Jaehyun sat with a faint blush covering his cheeks. Jinae had stopped crying as soon as her little eyes landed on you and fell back to sleep in your arms. You gently laid Jinae down on the couch and recalled the first mission that your friends gave you.
Have Jinae and Chunghee eat fruits.
Jinae was sleeping soundlessly so that meant Chunghee was going to be the first one to eat them, and that was the real mission.
“I’ll cut up some snacks,” you said.
Jaehyun got up to his feet. “I’ll cut them. You can relax with them.” He knew what snacks you were referring to, sending you a comforting smile before dashing off to the kitchen.
“Auntie?” Chunghee called out.
“Hm?”
“Do you like uncle?”
Flustered, you asked, “Why are you asking me that?”
“Uncle like you. But he not boyfwiend. And you gonna marry him.”
What?
Jaehyun liked you?
“Jaehyun uncle told you this?”
He nodded.
Jaehyun likes you, you thought repeatedly in your head. 
But it didn’t mean anything when you didn’t feel the same way.
After a few minutes, the said man returned with a plate of fruit varieties chopped up into small pieces. “Okay Chunghee, eat up.” He placed the plate on the foam mat covering the floor, away from Aera in case her baby walker bulldozed over the snacks.
The little boy huffed and crossed his tiny arms. “No fruits!”
“It’s going to be difficult feeding him fruits. We’ll have to figure out a way to get him desperate to eat them,” you mentioned. You picked up this idea from a movie you watched a while back and the tactic worked on the child in the film.
Jaehyun nodded and in a gentle tone told Chunghee, “I’ll keep this out in case you change your mind and become hungry. Okay?”
“But you’re not going to get any other food until you eat these,” you added sternly, hoping the strictness in your voice would have Chunghee obey.
Chunghee’s scowl faltered, not believing your words. “You won’t do that,” he responded but there was a hint of shakiness in his words.
Jaehyun went with your flow. “We don’t want to but we’ll have to,” he ended the supposed scary words with a smile to not scare the little boy too much.
The rest of the day went on with Jinae getting along well with Jaehyun, Aera sleeping shortly, and Chunghee frowning. He was the only one remaining who hadn’t touched the fruits yet and you grew concerned. Dinnertime was fast approaching and if the boy didn’t get a proper meal, then he was going to throw a tantrum.
Jaehyun offered to cook for everyone and you were surprised that he took up the task solely. “Are you sure? I can help,” you offered.
He hesitated for a moment, thinking about something briefly before he raised his hand to cup your face delicately, smiling at you. “Don’t worry. I got this,” he breathed out quietly. He retracted his and made his way towards the kitchen. Little did both of you know the true effect that the small touch had on the other, both of your hearts beating erratically as Jaehyun hurriedly hid in the kitchen while you stood frozen in your spot.
Four bowls of food were set on the table. For you, Jaehyun, Jinae, and Aera (though baby safe).
“Woa!” Jinae exclaimed before digging into her food with her baby chopsticks. Jaehyun began feeding Aera spoonfuls in the form of an airplane swooshing in the air, making Aera squeal joyfully. You stifled back a laugh from how funny Jaehyun looked doing that.
Hearing a faint grumble beside you, you anxiously glanced at Chunghee. The plate consisting of his share of fruits was left abandoned in the living room. “Where’s my food?” he asked.
“You know the deal. First fruits, then food,” you answered.
Chunghee couldn’t believe his ears. His parents had always given up eventually, no matter how hard they tried to get him to eat the naturally sweet products. “I. Want. Food!” he screamed.
This caused Aera to start crying and Jinae to stop eating her food altogether. You gave Jinae a side hug, rubbing her arm and let out a deep sigh. “Chunghee, if you’re going to keep this up, go into the living room. Let your sisters eat. It’s not their fault that you don’t want to eat something that Jinae already had.”
Tears welled up in the boy’s eyes. “You’re so mean!” he yelled and ran into the said room.
Jaehyun wiped Aera’s tears away and picked her up to soothe her, calmly her down shortly. “We’ll have to think of something else,” he told you.
“I don’t understand why Chunghee has such a huge problem with fruits,” you spoke. “He became like this ever since Ten looked after him one time.”
Jaehyun took in what you said, his mind raking up on a solution. “I think I can figure this problem out. Can you feed Aera while I go see him?”
You nodded. “Of course.”
Jaehyun found the little boy whimpering quietly as he hugged his legs to his chest. Chunghee’s sad eyes made Jaehyun feel a twinge in his heart. If there was something else behind it like a fear, he would have opted for a better solution.
Jaehyun sat down beside him. “I’m sorry,” he spoke tenderly.
The boy stayed put and sniffed, letting tears slide down his reddened cheeks. Jaehyun wiped his tears away with his thumbs.
“What’s wrong, Chunghee? Why won’t you eat fruits?”
Chunghee was still upset with his auntie and uncle, and so he didn’t respond back.
“How can I help you if you don’t tell me? Did Ten uncle say something bad about it?”
Those words stirred something inside the boy and he let his guard down. “Yeah,” he mumbled.
Bullseye. Jaehyun felt like he was close to solving the problem. “What did he say?”
Chunghee finally looked at the uncle with glistening eyes and answered, “Fruits will grow in my stomach.”
Fruits...
What?
Bewildered Jaehyun tried to compose himself before confirming. “So you won’t eat fruits because you’re scared that fruits will grow in your stomach?”
A nod.
Jaehyun faced away from the naïve boy and a smile threatened to spill onto his face. He was amused by the boy’s innocent fear, but at the same time he wanted to meet this Ten guy and smack him for installing the fear into the poor child. He turned serious again and softly said, “Chunghee, don’t worry because that’s not true. If it was, wouldn’t everyone be scared to eat it? Auntie and I wouldn’t have eaten it earlier if that was true. You saw us eat it, right?”
A glimmer of hope sparkled in his doe eyes. “It’s not?”
He smiled. “It’s not.”
“But seeds...”
“Yes, there are fruit seeds that you shouldn’t eat. But if you accidentally eat those, then they’ll come out of you when you go for a potty,” Jaehyun said, ruffling the boy’s hair. A smile finally emerged onto the little boy’s face and they laughed. “So are you going to trust us and your parents now to eat fruits?”
Chunghee hopped off the couch and grabbed the abandoned plate, at last popping a piece of chopped strawberry into his mouth. “I will.”
You were shocked to say the least for the boy to have finished up all the remaining fruits and had his meal with his siblings. You gave Jaehyun a questioning look, to which he smiled and mouthed ‘later.’
After a bit of playing around to digest the meal, you tucked Jinae and Chunghee in bed and walked back into the living room and found Jaehyun carrying Aera in the baby carrier, soothing her to sleep. Aera’s bed was separate from her older siblings as she needed more attention from adults. Thus, her bed was in the same room as Taeyong’s and Irene’s.
You thought back to your day spent with Jaehyun and the kids, amazed by how great Jaehyun was with small children. From looking after Aera to playing with Jinae to making Chunghee eat fruits. He really was going to be a great father one day. But was he going to be the father of your children?
Cute babies. Taeyong’s words echoed in your head.
With Jaehyun’s looks, there was no doubt about that. But did you really care about that? No. All babies were adorable no matter what. 
Uncle like you. Chunghee’s words rang in your head just then, and you didn’t realize you were staring at him until he stared back at you, shaking you out of your thoughts. Clearing your throat, you spoke up an issue. “So Taeyong and Irene only have one bed, same room as Aera’s so...” you trailed off, not sure how Jaehyun was going to take that in.
He nodded, not displaying any emotions. “I can sleep on the couch here. You can take the bed.”
Your eyes widened. “No! I didn’t mean- I mean... we should probably start becoming comfortable with each other, you know?”
His lips formed a small ‘oh.’ “Are you sure you’re okay with it?” He didn’t want you to force yourself and feel uneasy.
This was your future husband for goodness sake. You had to become comfortable with him at one point in your life. “Yeah, I feel like I can trust you, especially since Aera will be in the same room too. Haha.” There you went sounding awkward again.
Jaehyun bit back a smile and nodded. “As long as you’re okay with it.”
In the bedroom, Jaehyun carefully laid sleeping Aera in her bed while you settled yourself on one side of the bed, facing away from Jaehyun’s side. You were glad that your friends selected a king-sized bed, giving you ample of space to maintain a comfortable distance from him. Jaehyun got under the shared blanket and before he switched off the nightlamp, he softly called for you. “Y/N?”
“Hm?”
He silently drunk in the scene in his view. You next to him, a baby in her own bed, almost like a small family ready to doze off to dreamland. He wished this was what his future would look like, though only with you in it. “I really like you, Y/N,” he confessed and right away turned off the remaining light source, leaving your heart to hammer loudly in the dark.
- ❀ -
“Papa!” Chunghee ran into Taeyong’s open arms.
“My baby! Mwah,” Taeyong smooched the boy’s cheek with a wet kiss, making Chunghee shriek and run away.
Aera beamed in your arms upon seeing her mama’s face, making Irene take hold of the youngest and planted a haste kiss on her forehead.
Jinae waddled up to her papa, babbling for him to do the same with her as her super tiny arms rose up, asking to be picking up. Taeyong laughed and submitted, smooching a huge kiss onto her chubby cheek.
“How did it go? I hope the kids didn’t trouble you too much,” Irene said.
Jaehyun shook his head. “They didn’t trouble us. We managed to get Chunghee to eat fruits.”
Shock registered on Taeyong and Irene. “Did you just say Chunghee ate fruits?” Irene asked.
Chunghee beamed. “I did mama!”
Taeyong nodded his head slowly, letting the news settle in his brain. “Let me take you two out. As thanks for babysitting them and completing the mission.”
- ❀ -
Taeyong drove you and Jaehyun to his favourite coffee shop, the one you frequently visited with him that sold the most delectable pastries.
“I cannot believe I didn’t think about him having a fear, which makes sense because Ten also has a fear,” Taeyong said and took a bite of his strawberry Danish.
“Does Ten have the same fear?” Jaehyun asked.
You shook your head. “Nope. Apparently for Ten, it’s because fruits just look scary. I kind of find it funny that Ten thought of the whole seed thing and it grows in your stomach. It sounds so real and I’m sure a lot of people had that thought once in their life.”
Taeyong stopped chewing, a thought clicking to him. “You know Ten isn’t exactly wrong.”
Both you and Jaehyun stared at Taeyong, waiting for him to elaborate.
“How else do you make babies?”
“Lee Taeyong!” you yelled and slammed your hands on the table out of sheer embarrassment.
His laughter resonated in the café while Jaehyun’s cheeks burned red.
You grabbed Taeyong’s strawberry acai lemonade, taking huge sips of it as retribution. He whined and successfully retrieved it from you, shielding his body with it so that you wouldn’t steal it from him again.
You pouted. “Hey! I want some too!”
Taeyong took a quick glance at the silent one across from you, noting how Jaehyun’s eyes were masked with a hint of jealousy as he watched you be your playful self with your friend. Taeyong then met your eyes and nodded in Jaehyun’s direction. You frowned, not understanding what he was trying to hint at you. He casted his eyes on Jaehyun’s drink and later raised his own to take a sip. That was when it clicked you.
Your lips parted in surprise and turned to focus on the man across from you. His eyes were trained on swirling his drink with the straw. You cleared your throat, hoping you weren’t going to sound awkward. And of course, you failed. “Um, Jaehyun, can I um... try your drink?”
Jaehyun froze and lifted his gaze slowly. “Yeah of course,” he replied quietly and pushed his drink in your direction. You pressed your lips together on the straw, sipping the iced caramel macchiato. “Mmm,” you moaned. “This tastes better than Taeyong’s.”
“Hey! Don’t insult my drink!”
You laughed and stuck your tongue out at him while Jaehyun stared at you with a growing tender smile, super pleased that you liked his drink.
- ❀ -
[Two months later]
For the long weekend ahead of you, Taeyong and Irene planned a trip for you and Jaehyun to a rental vacation home. Now that you were engaged, Taeyong reasoned that a bachelor and bachelorette trip was a must. You were super grateful that your two friends also tagged along after dropping the kids off at Taeyong’s parents’ house.
It had been over a month ever since the engagement and even more hangouts, yet you still felt a little awkward with Jaehyun. After all, he was the man that you were eventually getting married to and you didn’t have any strong feelings of love for him.
Even if you did, you didn’t realize it.
Once arriving at the vacation home in the rental car, you were stunned by its exterior design. The neatly trimmed grass with small evergreen shrubs ran along the edges of the huge light up swimming pool, located off to the side from the entrance. The pool was surrounded by floor-to-ceiling rooms of the house, giving a few rooms a full view of the amenity. Even though you weren’t a fan of luxury, spending three days at that specific rental home sounded exciting.
The interior was just as jaw-dropping as the exterior and you spent the next few minutes walking around, familiarizing with the layout and where everything was located. Your friends and your fiancé were already sitting in the living room.
“This place is so cool!” you grinned.
“I’m glad you love it. Irene found this so it’s all thanks to her,” Taeyong said and pecked his wife on the cheek.
Irene squirmed. “Hey! Not in front of the kids!” she scolded her childlike husband.
You quirked an eyebrow up. “Excuse me? I am not a child.”
“You still are considered one until you’re married and have kids,” Taeyong stated.
You rolled your eyes at his words. He was right, and you felt like that with the way they treated you at times.
When the sun reached its peak midday, the four of you got into the vehicle and drove over to the closest supermarket with plans of stocking up on food and alcoholic drinks. You decided to split up into two groups, making Jaehyun hang around Taeyong while you walked with Irene.
Jaehyun pushed the cart into one of the aisles, containing a variety of pasta and sauces. “Can I make Italian for dinner tonight?” he asked.
Taeyong nodded. “Of course. Do you like Mexican? I can make that tomorrow.” Jaehyun nodded, giving him a weak smile. Taeyong noticed it and asked, “Is something wrong? It’s okay if you don’t like Mexican.”
Jaehyun stopped pushing the cart. “No, it’s not that. I...”
Taeyong waited patiently.
Jaehyun pressed his lips together before continuing. “I’ll tell you later.”
Meanwhile, you and Irene dumped whatever caught your sight into the cart.
“Y/N? Can I ask you something seriously?”
You let out a hum as a yes.
“How do you really feel about Jaehyun?”
You suddenly forgot how to read the labels on the shelves. Facing her, all that came out of your mouth was a ‘huh?’
Irene slowly repeated yourself, as if you had a hard time comprehending her words. “How do you feel with the engagement ring on your hand that Jaehyun put on? I’ve been seriously observing you the past months. Your actions, your words. Never do you talk about Jaehyun and you still act like you’re new with him.”
You blankly stared at the sparkling diamond ring resting on your third finger. Irene was right. You never talked about him, not giving him much of an interest. It was as if you had gotten used to having around him for the sake of your future being tied with his. “I don’t really know, Irene. I mean I do at times feel like I have a small crush on him. He is a good guy, but I don’t... I don’t know. Even though he already confessed to me that he likes me. Plus, he’s really calm...”
Irene was silent for a moment. “He is. But do you ever notice the way he’s like around you?”
You blinked confusedly. “What?”
“He’s always looking at you. I mean not in a creepy way. But he’s always smiling around you. Taeyong tells me how you don’t notice the little things with him and it sounds like Jaehyun gets jealous? Everyone has their own way of expressing themselves, expressing their love for their significant other. Jaehyun might not be obvious like Taeyong, but that doesn’t mean his love for you isn’t there.”
- ❀ -
Arriving back with the trunk full of groceries, it was finally time for Taeyong to have fun. Once all the groceries were put away in the kitchen, Taeyong sprinted out the glass doors, screaming high-pitched, and jumped into the swimming pool.
You laughed. “He really jumped in fully clothed.”
Irene sighed, walking over to him. “Sometimes I wonder if I’m a mother of four kids.” When Taeyong’s head popped up, she bent down close to the edge. “You should have at least changed into your swimming clothes,” she scolded.
With a mischievous glint in his eyes, he caught Irene off guard by pulling her into the water. She yelped, losing balance due to his strength, and felt the cold water hit her skin. “Taeyong! Are you crazy?” she yelled.
He laughed, pulling her into his arms. “I’m crazy for you, baby,” and smooched a wet kiss on her cheek.
You and Jaehyun ended up watching their adorable interaction from the sidelines of the pool and just then, Irene’s words voiced in your head.
Jaehyun might not be obvious like Taeyong, but that doesn’t mean his love for you isn’t there.
“Jaehyun?”
He turned to you. “Yes?”
“Do you know how to swim?”
He nodded. “Yeah I do.”
You pursed your lips. “I’m sorry.”
“For wha-”
You pushed him into the pool with all your strength, clutching your stomach as you laughed hard after he resurfaced. He gave you an amused smile with his hands on his hips. He loved that you were happily laughing at him, loved seeing you finally become playful with him.
“You know Y/N, it’s not fair that you’re the only one outside the pool,” Jaehyun teased you.
You agreed and backed up a few steps before running and jumping into the water. When your head resurfaced, you began splashing water on Jaehyun, to which he let out a hearty laugh and copied your actions.
Taeyong and Irene looked between you two in shock and then at each other. The husband took this opportunity to plant another huge fat kiss on his wife’s cheek, making her yelp again.
When the sky turned a shade darker and the hot humid air shifted slightly chillier, the four of you headed back inside to dry up. Of course, you were bound to share the bedroom with your fiancé, thankful of having previous experience with that. Jaehyun kindly let you use the room first, giving you privacy while he lazed on the outdoor chair, letting the sunset dry him up as much as it could before taking the matter in his own hands.
You stepped out of the ensuite bathroom, the covers of the floor-to-ceiling windows completely raised up and you spotted Jaehyun immediately. Knocking on the window, you got his attention right away and cued him that it was his turn.
Just like Jaehyun gave you privacy, you did the same for him.
You settled for the living room, the biggest area in the house. Taeyong and Irene were nowhere in sight, leaving you to entertain yourself. When you dug your hands into your pockets, you realized that your phone was forgotten in the bedroom.
If it was Irene or Taeyong in the room, you would have walked right in. But you stood outside the closed door, shifting on your feet and debating heavily as to what your next action should be. Knocking would be appropriate but this was your fiancé for heaven’s sake. You shouldn’t be knocking on the door for permission when this sort of thing was going to become a regular thing in the future.
You grabbed the doorknob, turning it clockwise and pushed it opened slightly. Your head peeked in, searching for him. When you couldn’t, thinking that he was already in the bathroom, you walked in cautiously. Right before you passed the bathroom, the door opened and out walked Jaehyun. His jeans and hair were still damp from the event earlier.
But what had you two react the way you did after was for the fact that he held his damp shirt in his hand, leaving his abs on fully display.
The speed at which both his and your eyes enlarged and twirled away from one another would make anyone think that both of you were not in a relationship. Let along engaged.
“Sorry. I didn’t know you were here,” he said and quickly put on his shirt. “I put my shirt on. You can turn around now.”
You let out an inaudible breath and turned, slightly disappointed to not see his abs anymore. “I’m sorry. I should have knocked but I thought... um...” You lost your words when a smile tugged at the ends of his lips.
“It’s okay. I’m glad you were comfortable enough to do that.”
You weren’t aware that your fiancé was in charge of dinner that night and was surprised to learn how much of a great chef Jaehyun was, even better than Taeyong as shocking as it sounded. Yes, he did cook before when babysitting but that was children-friendly, unlike the elegant cuisine of your favourite Italian dish that you had eaten in your first ever date with him.
- ❀ -
The next morning, you woke up feeling the bed occupied behind you. You stretched your limbs and turned around, suddenly forgetting how to breath when your eyes landed on Jaehyun’s sleeping face, facing in your direction. You wanted to touch his milky face, confirm whether it really was as soft as it seemed. His bare lips slightly parted and you wished to feel them on you.
Jaehyun felt a gaze on him and slowly fluttered his eyelids up. The eye contact had you jolt up from surprise while he stayed rooted in his lying position.
“I- I’m gonna go get ready,” you stuttered and bolted for the bathroom, locking the door behind you, and placed a hand over your racing heart.
Jaehyun sat up on the bed and smiled over how adorable you were. “Cute,” he whispered.
After breakfast, Taeyong and Jaehyun decided to go hiking nearby while you and Irene laid down on the outdoor lounge chairs, sprawling under the morning light.
The hiking trail was not too long and both men had reached the top in no time. Emerging from the trees, they were blessed by the breathtaking view of the mountains with a river that separated the mountains from where they stood. The morning birds chirped nearby, and the light breeze carried the echoes to their ears.
“Wow,” Jaehyun whispered. He felt as if a blanket was draped over him. A beautiful blanket consisting of your warmth.
“Beautiful, right?”
He nodded. “I wish Y/N and Irene came with us.”
“Same. I try to get Irene to come with me whenever I’d go hiking. But she would rather rest at home. I don’t blame her. Taking care of three small children is a lot.” Taeyong looked at the Jaehyun. “I don’t know how I survived all the times I had to do it by myself and Y/N always cracks jokes about me suffering.”
Jaehyun glanced at him with a small smile before turning back to the view.
Though Taeyong’s gaze was still locked on him. “Jaehyun?”
He took a deep breath, willing himself to take the time and ask your friend something that had been on his mind since the beginning. “How is Y/N so comfortable with you? I wish she could be like that with me.” Jaehyun was glad that he was starting to see you become comfortable with him during the trip. Even though it made his heart super happy, he craved for more from you.
Taeyong’s eyebrows raised up when finally learning the issue. “Well, that’s something that will depend on time. And the person too. When she first met me, I was a hot chubby mess, always clumsy and super clingy to my friends. I was naughty too, playful and pulling pranks. That’s how Y/N’s always seen me as since elementary school.”
The speed at which Jaehyun whipped his head to the man beside him had Taeyong chuckling. “Elementary... that long?” That all made sense to him. Being friends with Taeyong that long would only make you feel so at ease around him. And with that fact, another wave of jealousy hit him. How could Jaehyun beat that time before the marriage? Jaehyun was nowhere near Taeyong’s personality and he envied that to a great extent. On top of that, he didn’t want you to feel forced to marry him when you weren’t sure about it yourself.
A hand patted lightly on Jaehyun’s head. “Aigoo, is Jaehyunie jealous?” Taeyong teased.
Heat rose up to his cheeks, bluntly denying him, resulting in a roar of laughter from the married one.
“Don’t worry, Jaehyun. You’re a really good guy and I really think Y/N will like you back one day.” Sure, Taeyong was your best friend, but even he couldn’t figure out where a girl’s heart truly lied unless he had a chat with you. Regardless though, he would try to push you closer to Jaehyun, hoping that you’d break your assumed thoughts and give your fiancé a chance. A strong intuitive feeling of his told him that you and Jaehyun were destined to be together.
- ❀ -
Never Have I Ever.
That was a game that Taeyong had prepared for this trip. He had searched up a bunch of questions and written them down on a list of paper in case someone had a hard time to come up with a statement. The original game that he had planned included alcoholic drinks, but Irene had changed it to holding a hand up.
“Why? I wanted to drink!” Taeyong whined while wiggling in his seat.
Irene tsked. “Not right now. We’ll drink after dinner.”
He pouted, eventually agreeing with her words. Even though he was in charge of dinner that night, he couldn’t stop the desperate feeling of having one drink beforehand. “Okay, let’s start.” Taeyong spun an empty water bottle on the dining table and the opening pointed at Irene.
“Wow.” She picked up the list and scanned through the questions, immediately catching sight of one. “Never have I ever thrown a drink at someone,” she said and gave her husband an unamused look.
Only Taeyong raised his arm, knowing exactly what she was thinking about. And to his defense, he responded, “Come on, baby. You saw that guy! He was being rude to his mother. How could I not do anything?”
“But you could have talked it out. You didn’t have to throw your drink at him. We nearly got kicked out of the restaurant before we could even get our meal.”
“I would have made dinner for us then!”
“That’s not the point!”
“Okay guys, don’t fight,” you talked over them and grabbed the list from Irene, rolling your eyes at one of the questions. “Never have I ever fought in public.” You knew right away who were going to put up their hands.
Taeyong and Irene.
Irene crossed her arms. “Taeyong can get so childish when it comes to stuffed animals and chocolates that I have to nag him.”
Taeyong pouted. “Hey! At least I’m setting a good role model that adults should be child at heart, baby.”
But what you didn’t expect was that Jaehyun raised his hand up as well. “Well I wouldn’t say public like that, but I would hold onto my stand at work, which would raise some disputes. I know when to give up, but I can’t let a project go down the wrong path for the sake of maintaining peace in the company.”
You nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly with that, and you liked that thing about Jaehyun.
Taeyong grabbed the list from you, going next. “Never have I ever went on a solo vacation.” Taeyong never went on one, and wished he never did. Where was the fun when you weren’t on an adventure with someone?
Jaehyun was the sole person to raise his arm and you were aware of what he was implying to. He had informed you that he would be gone for some business in Paris a few weeks back and asked if you wanted to join him. Jaehyun felt bad for leaving you, but you spending a whole week in Paris with only him made your stomach lurch. Whether in a good way or bad, you didn’t know, thus rejecting his offer. You weren’t ready for such a stage in the relationship despite being newly engaged back then.
Pushing his broken heart aside, he explored the city in his free time. But he couldn’t stop thinking about you throughout the whole trip, even during the conferences that he was there for. Trips were something he used to enjoy solely. But after meeting you, he would have liked them better if he was with you.
He pushed the feeling aside and merely answered, “I went to Paris, mainly for business though.” He then asked something interesting that caught his attention on Taeyong’s list. “Never have I ever broken someone’s bone.”
You turned to Taeyong, shooting him a ‘what the hell’ look. “What kind of question is that?” Breaking your own bone was understandable. But why on earth would someone break someone else’s bone?
As expected, no one else except for the man himself raised his arm and chuckled. “I tweaked the question up because I technically did.”
Irene sighed. “It wasn’t you. It was on accident and it wasn’t Chunghee’s fault either.”
He sighed feeling a bit dejected. “I know but I feel responsible for what happened to Ten. Like I should have taught Chunghee better. Anyway, let’s move on.”
It was Irene’s turn again, and this time she yelped at reading one of the questions near the bottom of the page. “Never have I ever went skinny-dipping. What the hell, Taeyong?”
No one had raised their hand, and you were thankful for it because you wouldn’t know what to do with that information if either your married friends or your fiancé had done it before.
Taeyong wiggled his eyebrows at his wife suggestively, making her smack him hard in the chest and causing a windshield wiping laughter from him. “I really think it should be on our bucket list, babe,” he said.
“TAEYONG!” she screamed.
He laughed at her while you retrieved the list. “Never have I ever lived alone.” You had always either lived with your parents or had roommates when away from home. Taeyong and Irene were high school sweethearts, and so their only home away from their parents were with each other.
Jaehyun raised his arm solely once again. “I actually live on my own right now. I have my own place,” he answered. He never suggested to bring you over to his place, assuming that you were still awkward with him. Therefore, he only ever took you to public places to prevent you from feeling uncomfortable.
A phone rang, making Irene pick up her phone. “Hey Yeri.” Yeri was a mutual friend of yours and Irene’s and based on the muffled sounds from the other end of the line, you assumed that she was crying. “Oh no, just hold on for a second.” Turning to you guys, she said, “I’ll go talk to her outside.”
“I’ll come,” you added. You didn’t know what the issue was, but two heads were better than one.  
“Alright. And Taeyong, do not drink out of my sight. You hear me?” Irene pointed her index finger at him as she reprimanded him.
Taeyong sulked like a sad puppy upon hearing his wife’s words. Once the two of you were out of sight, a smirk formed on his face and he turned to Jaehyun, wiggling his eyebrows alluringly.
Jaehyun acted dumb, not wanting to get in trouble for encouraging Taeyong and avoided his eyes.
Taeyong nudged Jaehyun in the elbow, making the latter sigh in defeat. “This is about drinking, isn’t it?”
He nodded eagerly.
But Jaehyun shook his head. “No.”
Taeyong deflated. “Why?” he wailed.
“You’re going to get in trouble. Didn’t Irene just warn you?”
“I always get in trouble by her. It’s nothing new. I really wanna drink.”
Jaehyun was in a huge debate. Should he let Taeyong drink? Would you get mad at him for letting your friend drink?
“Come on, man. Please?” The puppy look was too irresistible for Jaehyun to stop him. One drink wouldn’t hurt Taeyong, would it?
“Okay, I guess a little won’t hurt you.”
Taeyong’s eyebrows raised in amusement. “You mean us. We’re both drinking.”
-
After comforting Yeri with her boyfriend issue, Irene decided to call her in-laws and check up on the kids while you headed back to search for the boys and see what they were up to.
Only to witness the scene in front of you absolutely shocking.
Both Taeyong and Jaehyun unquestionably wasted.
Numerous bottles were littered everywhere on the dining table where the four of you previously played a game. Knowing that Taeyong was a lightweight, the majority of the bottles had to belong to Jaehyun. Like a koala bear to a tree, Taeyong clung onto Jaehyun from behind, splattering kisses on your fiancé’s cheeks and nuzzling his nose into Jaehyun’s skin. From the looks of it, Jaehyun didn’t seem bothered at all by your friend with the dimples on his flushed cheeks.
But you were.
“Taeyong! Let him go! That’s my fiancé you’re kissing!” you yelled and strolled over to them. Trying to split up your drunk friend from your future husband was close to impossible. When Taeyong was drunk, his strength nearly doubled. The only other approach to get Taeyong off Jaehyun was for you to take a deep breath and release a bloodcurdling scream.
Startled, Taeyong let go of Jaehyun and stumbled over his steps, landing flat on his butt. The loss of human physical contact had Taeyong become a crying mess, but you didn’t pay any attention to his melodramatic tears. Because right after that moment, Jaehyun wrapped his arms around your waist from behind and nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck. He took a deep breath of your scent and sighed in content. “Mmm, you smell nice Y/N.”
Your heart thrashed in your chest and all you could hear was your blood pumping loudly in your ears. All you could feel was the warmth of his arms around you with the tip of his soft nose pressed into your cheek.
When Irene reappeared and quickly sunk in the scene, she ran up to her husband. “Taeyong! Did I not warn you earlier?” she shouted. Taeyong was going to have a tough time from Irene when he sobered up.
Once Irene dragged her wasted husband to their bedroom, you were clueless of what to do with clingy Jaehyun and later chose to follow your friend’s idea. After much difficulty of attempting to pull him inside the bedroom, you dropped him on the bed.
Right before you left his side, you heard him faintly mumble the words, “I love you, Y/N,” before dozing off.
- ❀ -
“Y/N, Jaehyun, can you two go to the market and grab some food for the long drive home?” Taeyong asked.
The last morning of your time at the rental vacation home had arrived. Thanks to the drunken men from the day before, food stock had been used up considerably quick to battle their hangovers.
“Sure. Whenever you’re ready,” Jaehyun said to you.
You pursed your lips and nodded. Frankly speaking, you were beginning to feel uncomfortable with Jaehyun ever since you heard his confession. Even though it wasn’t the first time to hear him confess to you, ‘I love you’ was a lot more deeper than ‘I like you’ and you were more than glad that he had said it while he was drunk. If he was sober, you would have had no idea on how to respond back. It wasn’t necessarily his feelings that you were bothered by, but your own. You didn’t know where your heart was for him and that was what made you uncomfortable.
Taeyong tossed the car keys to Jaehyun while discreetly sending a wink in your direction. You rolled your eyes, aware that your friend was only trying to get you closer to Jaehyun.
The drive to the market was tortuously silent as you focused your gaze on the faraway mountains and grass fields.
“I’m sorry about yesterday,” Jaehyun began. “I didn’t know Taeyong’s light and when he’s drunk, it’s hard to refuse him.” Taeyong had forced bottle after bottle on the poor man, not stopping until Jaehyun was drunk like him.
You stifled back a small laugh. “It’s okay. I’ve seen it before. But do you remember what happened?”
He frowned and shook his head. “Did something embarrassing happen?”
“Well, I would say something entertaining happened. You and Taeyong were quite something.”
He paled, keeping his eyes glued to the road. “What did we do?”
You laughed. “I wished I recorded you two, but I guess I’ll forever cherish it in my memories.”
At the market, Jaehyun pushed the cart and your hand rested on the side of it. Halfway through, Jaehyun felt his phone vibrate. Seeing the caller’s name displayed, he sighed, slightly annoyed at the phone. “Sorry Y/N, I need to take this call.”
You were surprised that he was telling you, yet hummed in response.
He thanked you and answered the call, keeping his volume low. “Hello? Didn’t I tell you not to call me?” You weren’t trying to mind his conversation but sort of ended up eavesdropping. “Just talk to Jade for me, will you? Thanks.” He hung up the call, taking a deep breath before smiling at you and resumed the grocery shopping.
What was that about, you thought.
- ❀ -
“Oh my love! I’m so excited to finalize your marriage date,” your mother gushed. “The time has finally come!”
You stayed mute, letting your mother begin daydreaming of all the things that would happen at your wedding.  Recalling the condition set in the beginning, your father asked if there was a valid reason to break it off. Unfortunately, you weren’t able to come up with a single reason for why you shouldn’t marry Jaehyun.
Why did he have to be so flawless, you thought.
When the doorbell rang, your mother gave you a gentle push, cuing you to open the door. With a huge deep breath in and out, you attempted to put on your best polite smile and swung the door open. “Good afternoon, please come in,” your tone laced with such fake enthusiasm that you had never displayed to your future in-laws.
Mrs. Jung walked in and pulled you into, once again, a crushing hug. “Oh it really is a good afternoon, Y/N. Let’s get your wedding talk going!” Once Jaehyun’s parents strolled to the direction of the living room, you shifted your gaze to the man himself, standing still on the porch.
“Um, you can come in too. Haha.” You weren’t ever going to stop feeling awkward with him, were you?
Though Jaehyun only held a neutral expression. No smile or sparkle in his eyes. And it made you worry if he was okay.
“Jaehyun?”
“Y/N?” he called softly.
You blinked. “Yeah?”
He sucked in a breath and asked, “Can I hug you?”
You blinked again. Physical touches were going to be basic intimacy after marriage so he shouldn’t have to ask you for one. But then, nothing much had happened between you two in terms of it except for a few, and you thought he was only being a gentleman. He had only hugged you once and that was when he was drunk. “Yes, of course.”
He closed the distance between you two and wrapped his arms around your waist, flushing his warmth against yours. You felt butterflies in your stomach when he placed his chin on your shoulder, staying like that for what felt like a minute, just basking in your warmth before he pulled away. The slight smile he sent your way, not quite reaching his eyes, made your heart drop.
“Let’s go in,” he muttered and held your hand in his gently.
Your heart would have fluttered at the contact, but you didn’t like the feeling that began to settle in your stomach.
After you two walked in, Mrs. Jung began. “Now that everyone’s here, let’s think of-”
“Mom,” Jaehyun cut his mother off quietly but firmly enough to be heard, making her blink at him in surprise.
“What is it, son?” his father asked. Jaehyun was never the type to interrupt elders. But at that moment, he couldn’t let them begin planning, getting their hopes up when it wasn’t going to happen.
He let go of your hand and glanced at your mother. “I can’t do this.”
You were beyond confused with him. “Do what?”
He turned to you, his eyes holding sorrow. “This marriage.”
The eerie silence that followed was broken by your mother. “This doesn’t have anything to do with Y/N wanting to break it off, does it?”
You gaped at her. “This is my first time hearing about this. I didn’t know either.”
“There’s literally no reason why he would be calling it off,” she countered.
“Mrs. L/N, this doesn’t have anything to do with Y/N. It’s my decision. I’m just not ready. I’m sorry.” Jaehyun lowered his gaze to the floor while you incredulously looked at him.
Not ready? My foot! There was no way he wasn’t ready for this marriage. After the confessions, after all his smiles. He wouldn’t have continued taking interest in you if he was going to break it off.
“Jaehyun, this is unacceptable. You should have told us beforehand,” his mother scolded.
“And I’m sorry for that. I didn’t want anyone to know so that everyone knows this is my decision. I’m not being influenced by anyone for this.” He raised his eyes to meet your parents. “I apologize, once again, Mr. and Mrs. L/N.” Without giving you a glance, he turned on his heels and strode towards the entrance.
Your head was spinning, your heart aching for an unexplainable reason as you watched the man disappear out the front door. It happened. It finally happened. After all this time of you wanting the marriage to be called off.
But why weren’t you happy?
Jaehyun stepped out of your house, feeling slightly less suffocated and released the held back tears. He pulled out his phone, dialing a number and pressed it against his ear.
After the second ring, the call was answered. “Hey Jaehyun! What’s up?” Taeyong’s cheery greeting almost broke Jaehyun yet he willed himself to stay strong.  
“Taeyong, can we meet tonight?”
- ❀ -
Jaehyun asked for Taeyong to pick him up. With the plan he had for that night, he wasn’t going to be in the right condition to drive. Taeyong had gotten the news from you prior to the meet that Jaehyun had called off the wedding. While Taeyong was childish at times, he knew when to act responsibly and had opted for cola when Jaehyun ordered spirits.
You didn’t take the news well either and Taeyong could tell instantly by your voice. He was going to talk to you later in person when Jaehyun had reached out to him first.
First come, first served.
Taeyong pressed his back to his chair and watched the man across down his shots. The food had been left abandoned as alcohol became a source of comfort for the broken hearted.
“I- I couldn’t do it to Y/N,” Jaehyun choked out. “I can’t let her marry me when she doesn’t love me. I can’t let her feel that she’s being forced to marry me when she doesn’t want to. Not once has she ever admitted her feelings to me. It’s like she’s only doing this for her parents.”
Taeyong sighed. “Jaehyun, I think you shou-” He bit back his words upon hearing a sob. The sobs had progressively increased, and tears flooded down Jaehyun’s reddened cheeks. Taeyong rushed to his side and guided Jaehyun’s head to his chest, hugging him as he soothingly patted his head.
The sobs had only lessened when Jaehyun choked out, “I love her too much, Taeyong. I just want her to be happy.”
- ❀ -
Your eyes fluttered open, the light breeze gently swaying the sheer white curtains that hung off the rods of your canopy bed. A soft breath left your parted lips and the aching hole in your heart continued to consume you. Your hand laid beside your head, the sparkling diamond ring still resting on your finger. While you didn’t know if your fiancé, ex fiancé, had taken the ring off, you didn’t have the courage to take off yours.
Irene answered the door and was astonished by your surprise visit. “Y/N, what a surprise. And you don’t look good...” she trailed off.
And you weren’t expecting otherwise when you felt like shit.
She ushered you in, and your eyes skimmed throughout the home, getting flashbacks to the times spent babysitting with Jaehyun.
Jaehyun.
You sniffed and tried to push your incoming tears back. “Is Tae...”
She shook her head. “He got an urgent call from work so he’s going to be there till late night. I heard about Jaehyun.”
You merely nodded, not sure what to say.
Irene placed a hand on your shoulder. “Do you want to talk?”
You chewed on your lips and shook your head. You had no idea what to say when you were confused by your feelings. At times like that, you’d go to Taeyong. He knew you more than your parents, more than anyone in the world, and would have a better idea of what you were feeling before you could realize it yourself. Until Taeyong arrived, you were going to quietly seek comfort from your friend and the little angels.
Chunghee came into sight and his eyes landed on you, running to you. Your typical reflex would have been a cheerful smile and have your arms open for him to run into. But you didn’t do that. The little boy’s steps slowed upon approaching you, noticing something was off when not met with the usual response. “What’s wong, auntie?”
A cry that you recognized belonging to Aera pierced through the rooms, making Irene leave the two of you alone.
Jinae had waddled into the living room, her eyes forming crescent moons, delighted to see you. She wobbled up to your legs and held onto your leg for support. You sat down on the floor and pulled her into your lap. You forced a smile at Chunghee. “Nothing. Auntie’s okay.”
Chunghee sat down beside you, looking around the room. “Where’s Jae uncle?”
Your heart stopped at the mention of his Jaehyun uncle. You were flattered that he liked him enough to ask about his whereabouts. “He... Jae uncle isn’t with me anymore.”
He stared at you. “Not together?” You shook your head. “Why?” he whined.
“What do you mean why?”
He pouted, and if it weren’t for the gaping hole in your heart, you would have laughed at how much he resembled Taeyong. “I like you and uncle together.”
“I guess we’re not meant to be together.”
With a scowl on his face, he yelled, “No! You two are!”
Jinae kept her tiny gaze on you and released a ‘humph,’ agreeing with her brother’s words.
- ❀ -
Taeyong had received a warning from Irene to not make noise when entering home at night. His gaze fell onto the figure sprawled on the couch, facing the backrest. On his tip toes, he quietly moved towards it and peeked over to see your face. You were fast asleep with signs of puffy eyes, hinting that you were crying recently.
“You’re such a fool,” he whispered and kissed your head.
The next morning, you woke up, being greeted with a cheery Taeyong who dragged you to the dining table for breakfast. Even though you weren’t in the mood to, he nagged you into going out for a walk with him so that you could digest your meal. It made you think back to Jaehyun when he suggested the same thing on your second official date. You were secretly thankful that Taeyong dragged you out the door as your limbs were aching for some movement after being cooped up indoors due to your gloomy mood.
Spotting an unoccupied bench, the two of you sat down for a short break. “The weather is beautiful, isn’t it?” he asked, staring up at the fluffy clouds in the bright blue sky.
You puffed out as your gaze was fixed on the pebbles along the path. “I don’t know what to do. Why am I feeling like this?”
He snickered. “If I was in Jaehyun’s spot, I wouldn’t even know what to do with myself if I loved you.”
“Hey! Is that an insult?”
Taeyong rolled his eyes. “Seriously, only Jaehyun is supposed to be hurting right now. Why are you getting affected? Wasn’t this what you wanted all this time?”
It was.
But...
“Yeah... but I don’t know. I’m so confused. Jaehyun really is a good guy. But I- I don’t know.”
Taeyong watched you softly. “You know what the problem is?”
You scowled. “If I knew the problem, I wouldn’t be here with you and stressed out.”
He smiled warmly. “Your problem is that you’re holding onto your biased thoughts. The type of guys your parents had set you up with previously have been ones you didn’t like. So now that there’s a guy who is perfect for you, you can’t see that. Plus, all your life you wanted a love marriage. The second your parents interfered and tried to set you up for an arranged one, you thought love would never happen.”
You let his words sink in and felt a piercing stab in your heart after hearing his words. You wanted to fall in love the way you thought you would back when you were a teenage girl. You wanted to fall in love with the one you were destined to be with like the way it would occur in movies. Not through having blind dates with prospective partners.
“Y/N, let me ask you something and I want you to forget that you had ever met Jaehyun the way you did.”
That felt like another stab in your heart, even if hypothetical.
“If you never met Jaehyun through a blind date, but instead met him in another way, would your feelings change for him?”
If you met Jaehyun as a classmate, or as a mutual friend, or colleague, or even as someone you bumped into randomly on the streets, would your feelings change? “My head hurts,” you complained and slouched against the bench.
He tutted. “This isn’t something to use your brain for. What do you feel in your heart, Y/N? Would your feelings change? Would you then accept your love for Jaehyun?”
Love...
For Jaehyun.
You stood up from the bench, suddenly feeling a rush of emotions surging inside you. You began trembling, becoming hyper aware of what you had been doing all this time. You had been pushing away your feelings for him. Unknowingly had been denying your love for him. “Oh my God...” you breathed out. “Why am I so dumb?”
If you had met Jaehyun in any other way, then you would have realized your feelings way earlier.
Taeyong placed his hands on your shoulder, gently turning you around to face him. “You realize it now,” he chuckled.
You couldn’t see his face as your sight became blurry from the tears welled up in your eyes. “Why am I so stupid?” you cried, and Taeyong pulled you into his embrace, stroking your hair. Wet patches formed on his shirt as you sobbed in his chest.
Your friend kissed the top of your head. “After all this time of you wanting a love marriage, you didn’t even realize that the love of your life had been in front of you all along.”
“He’s never gonna forgive me,” you choked out.
Pulling away from you, he wiped your fresh tears off with his fingers. “He will. He loves you too much to hate you. Also,” he grabbed his phone from his pocket and did some tapping. Your phone chimed, displaying an address under your unread message. “That’s his address, the one where he lives on his own. Go to him, Y/N. Tell him your true feelings.”
- ❀ -
Jaehyun doesn’t hate you. He loves you.
With that thought, you quit being hesitant and rang the doorbell. Your foot tapped impatiently as you waited for a short time. When the door opened, you were met with a shocked Jaehyun. “Y/N?” Your name fell from his lips in disbelief, as if to see you again, let alone at his place, would be a dream.
A nod. “Yup. It’s me. Haha,” you chuckled nervously. “Taeyong gave me your address.”
He hit himself mentally for keeping you standing. “Come in.”
You walked in and weren’t surprised for the vibe his place radiated. After all the money spent on your dates, and being your parents’ selection, you expected he’d own a deluxe home, his being a modern bachelor pad. You couldn’t help but think back to a particular set of words when you second met him at the theater.
“Would you like anything? Coffee or tea?” he asked.
You shook your head. “No. I’m fine. Well... actually water.”
He nodded. “Of course. Please sit.” He shuffled his way to where you assumed was the kitchen. Out of sight, you cautiously sat down on the couch, scanning your eyes around.
Jaehyun came back with a tall glass of water, handing it to you. You thanked him and took a few sips before resting it on the coffee table. Your eyes landed on his ring finger, stunned to see the engagement ring still there. “You’re still wearing it,” you muttered.
He followed your line of sight and caught on to what you were referring to. Quickly, he placed his other hand on top to hide the ring from your sight. “Oh, um...” He glanced at your own hand and noticed it there as well. “Oh, you too?”
Nodding, you said, “Yeah, I...”
He kept his eyes trained on you, waiting for you to continue and explain for the sudden visit.
“I’m such an idiot,” you muttered under your breath.
He raised his eyebrows, hearing you clearly. “Why?”
“Because I didn’t realize that I loved you all this time.”
He froze upon hearing your confession for the first time, and his heart began beating faster. “You love me?” he asked, needing to make sure he wasn’t hearing things.
You nodded and laughed quietly. “If it weren’t for Taeyong to make me realize it, then I wouldn’t be sitting here with you. And I’m sorry that I’m late. I’ve been blind all this time because we were arranged, you know? I thought love wasn’t going to happen. But I’m so dumb to not realize it despite all the times you’ve made my heart flutter.”
A blinding smile took over his face and you were relieved to see it again. “I made your heart flutter?” Jaehyun’s heart was far from okay with your confession. There were rare times where he could figure out if he moved your heart, but you masked your emotions most of the time.
“You sure did. I’m seriously such a fool to not have- argh!” you groaned, frustrated with yourself.
He laughed happily, pleased with the effect he had on you. “Better now than never. So you love me? Like you don’t have any problem with me?”
Which reminded you... “Well, there is one thing.”
His smile faltered, anxious for what you had to state. “Yeah?”
You pressed your lips together. “What was your friend’s name? Johnny was it? At the movies. he mentioned something that you were devoted to your work, and I can tell you’re someone of higher position. Will that mean I might not be able to see you at times because you’ll be busy?”
His lips formed an ‘oh’ and his smile returned. “You’re right. I do work at a managerial position, so it is possible for me to be away. But did you ever feel that whenever I was with you? That I chose work over you?”
You shook your head. “I didn’t.”
“Good.”
“Huh?”
He grinned. “Remember our trip at that supermarket and I got a call? It was from work. Actually, that weekend our team had an urgent project to work on, but I was able to get someone reliable to cover for me so that I could spend time with you.”
Oh my God...
“Work is inevitable and rare cases I’ll have to be away from you. But I will do anything and everything I can to put you first.” His smile dropped quickly when noticing your tears. “Y/N, what’s wrong? Did I say something wrong?”
You sniffed back the wave about to hit you. “You’re too perfect. I don’t deserve you.”
The dimples that you loved so much reappeared, and he wiped your tears away. “Nonsense. More like I don’t deserve you.”
“Don’t say that,” you pouted, frowning.
He laughed and patted your head. “You’re so cute.”
Your cheeks burned with adoration for him, and you caught him off guard when you hastily leaned forward and pecked him on his lips. You pulled back and found him blushing.
Out of embarrassment, you diverted your gaze, looking at anything but his eyes. Jaehyun gently held your face in his hands and turned you to meet his twinkling eyes. “I love it when you surprise me, Y/N.”
You grinned and pecked his lips for the second time, wanting to feel his soft velvety lips again.
Surprised, he let out a hearty laugh. “Someone’s desperate for my lips.”
“After all this time, I can’t believe I didn’t kiss you once. Maybe that would have changed my mind and accepted you faster,” you joked.
He shook his head, smiling in amusement, and was startled when you threw yourself on him, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissed him hungrily. Jaehyun responded back, pulling you into his tight embrace and kissed back in a feverish manner. You moaned and combed your hand through his hair, earning a deep growl from him. You pulled back after what felt like a minute, both of you panting heavily. He stared into your eyes, and as a confirmation whispered, “You’ll be my wife.”
­You chuckled breathlessly. “I’ll be your Mrs. Jung.”
He crashed his lips onto yours, moving more roughly. He left your lips and trailed down below your jawline, leaving a wet trail on your neck. Your moans increased in volume and he was pleased by how sensitive you were just from his lips on your skin. He pulled back and watched your reaction.
You whined at the loss of contact. “Stop teasing me.”
He quirked an eyebrow at you. “You want more?”
You definitely did. “Please?” You batted your eyelashes.
A smirk grew on his face. “Of course.” He placed his hands behind your back and knees, lifting you up into his arms bridal style. On the way to his bedroom, the two of you didn’t stop the kisses. He put you down gently on the bed and crawled over you, closing the distance between you two as he gave all of his love to you.
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