#familiar!anxceit

[lily-janus]

What Once Was

Summary: Janus bumped into Virgil as he goes down a self-depricating spiral... which stirs up old feelings

Pairing: platonic Anxciet

Warnings: swearing, self-deprication

Word count: 1,052

My fic for day 6 Kiss & Make Up of @tss-anxceit-week

----------------------------

All Janus wanted to do was grab his wine from where he was hiding it from Remus, and watch some drama content where people hilariously overreact over everything and forget about everyday life.

But… of course that didn't end up to be what happened.

When he hid his wine in the light sides' kitchen, he thought himself pretty clever since Remus rarely ever comes near here. Something about their 'lameness' rubbing off on him.

And, when he does his pranks he usually prefers to use their rooms.

Now, however, he regretted every moment of that decision. Because, obviously someone had to pop up in the common room right next to the kitchen right when he was about to leave.

He was about to try to sneak away before whoever it was could notice him when-

"...Fucking stupid…"

That voice… that shaky voice…

Despite his better judgment, Janus risked a glance towards the common room to confirm his suspicion.

And, sure enough, he saw none other than the anxious side, pacing all over the area, probably trying to release some of that pant up anxious energy.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid…" he kept saying over and over again. "What the fuck was I thinking?"

Janus knew he should just disappear and forget what he saw, Virgil made his feelings towards him more than clear… not that Janus can blame him…

But… for some reason… he couldn't find it in him… Dammit he still cares about the traitor… despite everything.

"What are you doing here?"

The hate dripping from Virgil's words should be familiar to him by now, but they always feel like a punch to his gut, no matter how used to it he was getting.

Janus opened his mouth to answer when…

"Know what? I don't care, just get out, you shouldn't even be here. I can't… I can't deal with you right now."

And there it was again, that shake in his voice. He knew Virgil well enough to know that something was wrong.

He finally looked up to find Virgil frowning at him, "you're weirdly quiet…" he pointed out.

Sometimes… Janus forgets that Virgil knows him well enough too… or tries to forget anyway.

"What happened?" Janus finally managed to ask, raising a curious eyebrow at him.

Virgil huffed, "right, like you care… Why are you still here?"

Janus managed a smirk, "why do you think?"

But Virgil didn't rise to the bait, he just let out a long, tired sigh. "I don't have time for your stupid games…"

Janus shrugged, "not a game, you still didn't answer my question."

"That's because it's none of your business." Virgil shot back.

"I'm not leaving until you answer." Janus put his wine on the counter and crossed his arms over his chest, looking at Virgil expectantly.

"I can just go to my room." Virgil pointed out.

"Then why are you still here?" Janus used Virgil's earlier question.

"Because you're obviously up to something, so I'm not letting you out of my sight until you leave." He shot back with a glare.

Janus tutted, "you always were a terrible liar, honestly, Virgil." He rolled his eyes, "who do you think you're fooling? Certainly not me."

Virgil turned back to his anxious pacing, "I really can't deal with you right now…"

"Why?" Janus tried again, "is something… Wrong?" He paused for a bit before finishing to put emphasis on the last word. "Trouble in paradise?"

"Of course not." Virgil snapped, turning back to glare at Janus.

"Right… of course, nothing's ever wrong in Rainbows and Sunshine land." Janus rolled his eyes again.

"No…" Virgil agreed despite the obvious sarcasm, "the problem's always me…" he added quietly.

Ah, now they're getting somewhere.

"What do you mean?" Janus asked carefully and Virgil flushed when he realized he said it out loud.

"Nothing, forget it." He said quickly, too quickly.

It was Janus' turn to sigh, if he wanted Virgil to open up… he's gonna have to do the same.

"Fine, I'll admit it…" Janus took off his gloves, shivering from how exposed he felt without them, "I'm worried about you." He admitted when his hands were bare.

Virgil paused to stare at him for what felt like hours, before turning away. “Wow… just… wow..”

Janus frowned, putting back his gloves, “I’m telling the tru-”

“Are you?” Virgil cut him off sharply, “are you seriously telling me that after everything…” he flailed his arms, “you’re worried about me?”

“Yes.” Janus said simply, “don’t you feel the same about me?”

Virgil snorted, “of course not!”

Janus examined his hands, “still a terrible liar…”

Virgil returned to his pacing, “whatever, it’s still none of your business and our days of having heart-to-hearts are over, so piss off before I make you.”

Janus rolled his eyes, “woo I’m so scared… if you want me to leave just answer my question.” He repeated.

Virgil threw his arms in frustration, “same thing that always happens, okay?! I messed up and made everything worse. There, happy? Now scram.” There were tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

Janus didn’t say anything, but he didn’t leave either. He just watched as Virgil sat on the armrest of the couch, curling into a ball by hugging his knees to his chest and burying his head between them.

It’s not often that Janus doesn’t have anything to say, but in this moment, Janus could only stare.

Then, he was standing behind Virgil, not knowing when he even started moving towards him.

But, he hugged him from behind and whispered softly, “from my experience… you only make things better…” before finally disappearing.

And you can be sure he was not crying when he appeared back in his room, not even noticing he left his wine behind… it was just… dust in his eyes, he didn’t clean his room in ages.

Our days of having heart-to-hearts are over…

Janus looked over his yellow couch, remembering all those times where he and Virgil would just… talk, about anything that came to mind… talks that lasted for hours without either of them noticing.

But Virgil was right, those days are long gone, and Janus has no one to blame but himself.

Though maybe, one day… They could make up. Because Janus wasn’t lying… Virgil made everything better, for him at least.

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #janus sanders #Lily writes #platonic anxceit #anxceitweek2023 #day 6 kiss & make up #cw swearing #tw self deprecation

[thegoldenduckie]

I dare you to rank all sanders sides ships on a scale of 1-10. At least, as many as you can think up of.

OOO SOUNDS FUN ANON! Ill try to get as many ships as i can (but not that one, you know which one)

Rankings under cut

btw i used fanlore.org to look for all the ships, so idk if each of the ship names are right

AND THIS IS JUST MY SILLY OPINION! IF YOU DISAGREE THATS ALRIGHT THIS IS JUST WHAT I THINK!

Loceit: 8/10 Really good, love it, love the content of it

Moceit: 50/10 MOCEIT IS MY OTP! MY EVERYTHING, MY ABSLOUTE FAVOURITE SHIP

Dukeceit/Demus: 7/10 Its really good! Lovee their dynamic, its a shame we dont see these guys interact in the show much :(

Roceit: 7/10 Love roceit, so many angst and fluffy opportunities, honestly love the angst

Thomceit: 5/10 Honestly im not enthusiastic about sides x Thomas ships, but they can be pretty sweet! This ones really good, i see the appeal

Anxceit: 9/10 AHGG THEM! Sooo good! As platonic, romantic, familiar, and bitter exes! Love it! So many fun amd angsty posibilites!

Logicality: 7.5/10 Its so adorable!! I loveee logicality fanart and fics! I really loved logicality when i first joined watched the show, so it gets an extra .5 for nostagic sake

Intrulogical: 10/10 like DUDE INTRULOGICAL MAKES ME FERAL! Its so silly and adorable and freaky ahsxhjlsxkjkjhsx

Logince: 9/10 aaa its sooo fun! Their chemistry is SO INCREDIBLE

Lomas: 5/10 Again, not big on thomas and side ships, but this ones pretty cute

Analogical: 10/10 YESSS! YES YES YES! I COULD TALK ABOUT THEM FOREVER! THEY MAKE ME SOO HAPPPPYYY!! ESPECIALLY AS QPPS!! AAAA I LOOOVVEEEE THEMMM SO MUCH!

Intruality: 6/10 I like it! Its growing on me! Has a lot of adorableness

Royality: 6/10 Love it platonic, indifferent to it as romantic, and its just very sweet and seeing content of it makes me smile

Momas: 5/10

Moxiety: 6/10 again, love it familar and platonic, with a father son relationship! Honestly dont like it romantic

Platonic Creativitwins: 9/10 Yes! The twins! I love them just being chaotic siblings, or even on good terms and having being good brothers to eachother

Intrumas: 4/10

Dukexiety: 7/10 I like it a lot!!

Prinxiety: 8/10 its reeaally adorble, honestly love it lots

Analogince (Lo/Ro/Virge): 7/10 cute!

Romas: 5/10

Thomxiety: 5.5/10 this ones pretty cute

Logicalceit (Jan/Lo/Pat): 8/10 Its content is soo sweet

Intruloceit (Jan/Lo/Rem): 9/10 YEAHH I LOVE IT!! MAKES ME FROTH AT THE MOUTH

Roloceit (Jan/Lo/Ro): 7/10 Seems loevly

Analoceit (Jan/Lo/Virge): 9/10 At first i was indifferent to it, but a certain mutual made me see how amazing this ship is

Intrualceit? (Jan/Pat/Rem): 5/10 i think thats the name

Royalceit (Jan/Pat/Ro): 5.5/10 havent seen much of it, but points for that sick name

Moxiceit? (Jan/Pat/Virge): 7/10 ive seen some cute suff with this, i think thats the name

Anxceitmus (Jan/Rem/Virge): 9/10 YESS! AAAAA THESE THREEE MAKE ME SOOOO INSANE!

Anaroceit/Prinxieceit (Jan/Ro/Virge): 8/10 so much potential for a toxic yoai polycule

Intrugicality (Lo/Pat/Rem): 5/10

Morolo/Moralogince (Lo/Pat/Ro): 8/10 SO ADORABLE

Analogicality? (Lo/Pat/Virge): 6/10 i think thats the name

Anaintrulogical? (Lo/Rem/Virge): 6/10 i can see the appeal, i think thats the name

Anaintruality? (Pat/Virge/Rem): 5/10 i think thats the name

Anaroyality? (Virge/Ro/Pat): 5/10 i think thats the name

LAMP/CALM: 9/10 LOOOVEE IT! I DO NOT MAKE ENOUGH CONTENT OF THEM! ITS SO ADORBLE

DLAMP: 7/10

DLAMPR: 8/10 YES! ONE BIG HAPPY POLYCULE! THE BEST KIND OF SHIP

Thanks for the ask anon! Again, all these rankings are just my opinion, please dont fight me

#i did not ​some of these names #just went with the flow and guessed #and i didnt do every ship #very fun ask #asks #sanders sides

[naminethewriter]

One's Hometown, One's New Home

Chapter Three: Curious Encounter

Masterpost | First | Previous | Next | Ao3

@tss-anxceit-week

Summary: Janus’ hometown is a usually quiet place where everyone knows everyone. So when someone new moves in, they’re usually the hottest topic of local gossip. The newcomer then comes by the library Janus works at, he can’t help but chat with him a little. Doesn’t hurt that he’s good looking as well.

Content Warnings: Injured Animal, Wolf, Unsafe interactions with wild life

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Janus loved taking walks in the woods by himself. He enjoyed the quiet, of course he did, he was a librarian, but it was a different sort of quiet than at his work. The wind dancing through the leaves, birds singing, a brook babbling nearby. It contrasted heavily with the quiet humming of the air conditioning in the library as well as the whispers of visitors and the turning of pages. Still, Janus could appreciate both types of silence.

Thankfully for him, this Sunday was once again without a single cloud in the sky without being overwhelmingly hot. He let his mind wander as his feet carried him along a familiar path through the trees, towards a small lake he likes to visit every once in a while.

His thoughts drifted to Virgil. He hadn’t seen him since he stormed out of Dan’s shop. It wasn’t that strange he supposed. None of the books he borrowed after their first meeting were due, so there wasn’t an incentive for him to come by the library and while Janus did know where he lived, he hadn’t acquired that information through Virgil himself, so he didn’t want to drop by unannounced, especially after how their last meeting ended.

So, Janus left it up to fate to determine when they’ll cross paths again.

Or the dues of the library he supposed.

Of course, if Virgil wanted to avoid him, Janus wouldn’t stop him. He had every right to cut off contact if he made him uncomfortable, but for some reason, Janus didn’t think that was the crux of the problem.

Virgil’s eyes in that moment… Well, they hadn’t seemed like they were looking at him with discomfort, if he thought back to it.

No, he looked like he was afraid.

But afraid of what? Of Janus?

No, he didn’t think so. He had flirted with Virgil from the first moment they met, and he had responded positively, even if Janus was the most direct at the end of their last conversation.

Maybe Virgil really had just remembered something and needed to leave so suddenly because of it, just like he had said?

Again, Janus didn’t think that was the whole truth.

But he couldn’t figure out why he thought that.

Just intuition, he supposed.

Suddenly, a sound startled him out of his thoughts. He stopped and listened.

There! A huffing of some sort.

Janus tried to spy through the trees to see what was making the noise, but he couldn’t see anything.

A growl followed by a whine.

An injured animal? If so, it would be a big one to make such sounds.

The logical side of Janus’ brain told him to stay away, to leave, go back home and not get involved, but… There was a part of him that was convinced he should check it out.

It was the part that won.

Carefully, Janus left the path. He made sure to check his compass that he always carried with him when he entered the woods, just in case. Yes, he’s been running around these woods since he was a child, but that was exactly why he knew not to underestimate the dangers they could hold as well.

He moved slowly. Calculating every step, looking out for traps the local hunters and or rangers might have placed. Trying to stay quiet as much as possible.

The sounds got louder.

It was definitely an animal. And as Janus peered around a tree, he saw it.

A wolf.

It was alone, staring at the ground and switching between whines and growls. Janus followed its line of sight and spotted the problem: the wolf left back leg was stuck in a bear trap. There weren’t a lot of bears around these parts – or wolves for that matter – but the few that wandered around could be a potential danger, so the local rangers placed some traps strategically to ward them off.

Honestly, Janus didn’t think that the trap was as sharp as it could be. He hardly saw any blood clinging to the wolf’s fur but he’s sure the force of it engaging could have caused an injury.

He was unsure of what to do.

Unconsciously he shifted a bit, enough to make noise and get the wolf’s attention. It snapped its head in Janus’ direction and growls loudly.

With raised hands, Janus steps out from behind the tree. Why exactly he didn’t know himself, it just felt like the right thing to do.

“Hey there. I’m not here to hurt you.” He spoke calmly while taking careful steps towards the trapped wolf. It stared at him intently, watching every move he made and growled once he got too close. Janus stopped at the warning and looked over to the caught leg.

His first impression turned out to be true. The teeth of the trap had been dulled and didn’t pierce the animal’s flesh as much though there was definitely blood. He was sure however, that the animal could survive the injury if it was set free.

“You’re in a bad situation, aren’t you?” he continued talking soothingly, staying still for now. “I can help you if you let me.”

The wolf’s leg twitched. It looked between the trap and Janus, as if contemplating his words.

Which was definitely not what was actually happening, a wolf couldn’t understand him.

Still, despite being trapped, it hadn’t actually shown a lot of aggression towards Janus. Yes, it growled at him when he got to close but that was it. It wasn’t baring its teeth or trying to get away from him.

Janus watched it for a moment longer and to his surprise, the wolf laid down on the ground, stretching its caught leg away from its head. He took it as permission and slowly started moving again. Walking in a half circle to stay away from its head and in turn sharp teeth, Janus approached the trap.

He had learned to engage and open these traps as a child, as had everyone who grew up around these parts as a safety precaution. He knelt down by the wolf’s side, keeping an eye on its head the entire time and got to work.

It didn’t take long before he pulled the metal teeth apart and as soon as he did, the animal pulled away. It limped a few steps away before stopping and looking back at Janus, who had remained still by the trap.

They stared at each other for a long moment before the wolf left, dragging its foot behind it.

Janus waited until he was sure it was gone before standing up.

In all honesty, he should be dead. Approaching an injured, wild animal while it was trapped was a death wish.

And yet he wasn’t even so much as injured.

Peculiar indeed.

#namiswriting #One's Hometown One's New Home #Chapter Three: Curious Encounter #anxceitweek2023 #anxceit #ts janus #janus sanders #human!au #injured animal #injured wolf #unsafe interactions with wild life #supernatural elements #multichapter fic #sanders sides #fanfiction #reblogs are appreciated

[cheergoodtimes]

Ur art style is like so familiar to me, were you that sanskii person?/gen

erm... ehe... ^_^; hi... yes thats me!! im flattered u recognized my style and even remembered me?!

i should explain myself, i think? but i didnt feel safe anymore in the fandom due to a loooottttaaaa reasons but especially arophobia and racism, so i went ahead and locked/deleted my accounts :{

ive come around to draw anxceit again but thats bc forcing myself to stop liking them hurt me emotionally, and i dont really want to be just known for sasi anymore, ive lost interest in the series apart from anxceit so im mostly doing my own multifandom/oc things now ^_^;

#ask

[muppetable]

i ship anaroceit because roceit is just every musical theater kid romance, prinxiety is what i was raised on, and anxceit is the two familiars of a witch that fall in love and i can’t pick one of these tropes

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #anaroceit #janus sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

The Power of Storytelling: A Dangerous Mistake

listen nonny i wanna put the full ask here but it's so long so i'm just gonna link it here

Read on Ao3 Masterlist

Warnings: presumed drowning, invoq is ‘trapped’ in a trick box but the other character doesn’t know it’s a trick box.

Pairings: anxceit, can be platonic or romantic you decide

Word Count: 2769

The next time Tobias walks through town, he’s careful to avoid any conversations about Conras. It’s more difficult than anticipated, even with the allure of Invoq’s show and the buzz about the upcoming ball. Because Conras is such a phenomenon, it seems that everyone can’t get enough of talking about him. He manages to dodge most of them by looking standoffish and walking faster than most people can keep up with, but when he has to go visit Merk, he can’t avoid it. 

“You don’t look very happy,” Merk says as he measures Tobias’s chest again, “did you and that magician have a fight?”

“No, we—wait, what the hell does that mean?”

Merk rolls his eyes. “Oh, please, just because I spend most of my life staring into a glowing forge doesn’t mean I’m blind. The whole town’s been talking about it.”

“What?”

“Wait, have you really not noticed?” He sets the tape measure aside. “It’s a wonder to see you with the same person all day, let alone for this long.”

Tobias hunches his shoulders. “I wasn’t aware that my choice of company was such a source of entertainment.”

Merk glances at him as he fiddles with a piece of metal. “It’s not, Tobias, not really. It’s just, well…”

Tobias glances at him. “What?”

“It’s just I’ve had complaints of other people who want to spend time with the elusive magician before he vanishes, and someone is hogging all of his time.”

Ah. Tobias grins. “That’s hardly my fault.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Merk grumbles, “you laugh it up over there.”

“I’m not laughing.”

“You may as well be.” He holds the piece of metal up. “Now let’s get you fitted so you can get out of my shop.”

“Shouldn’t I take my shirt off? So you can fit it better?”

“If you wear my armor over your bare skin you’re an even bigger idiot than Agnes gives you credit for.”

“Listen, if you want to keep me in here longer so other people can have more time with Invoq…”

“Keep your shirt on!”

Tobias laughs as Mark flicks water at him. He behaves, letting the blacksmith take his measurements without complaint. Still, his mind begins to wander back to Invoq and Conras. Two entertainers, so different, and yet they both had such an impact.

“Seriously,” Merk asks when he doesn’t say anything for a while, “are you okay? I’ve only ever seen you so quiet when Agnes is yelling at me for not making your armor properly. Which I do, by the way.”

Tobias sighs. “I went to Conras’s storytelling last night.”

“Ah.” Merk picks up another tool. “Something sticking with you?”

He rubs a hand over his face. “Something like that.”

“Mm. That’s why I don’t go to those all the time.”

“No? Even when they’re so rare?”

“Nah. Conras is, uh, too good at his job sometimes.”

“Yeah,” Tobias mutters, “I know what you mean.”

“Well, anyway, I think you’re done.”

“Thanks.” He shrugs his bag back on. “Should I come see you in a bit?”

“Yeah, gimme a while to get this together.”

Tobias tips him a lazy salute as he walks out the door. The townspeople aren’t too busy at this time of night so it’s pretty easy to amble his way across the way to where Invoq’s tent is. There isn’t a show tonight, but it is the easiest place to find him. 

His stomach twists a little as he thinks about what it means that he knows exactly where to find Invoq. 

Is he being drawn in by the man? Yes, absolutely. He’s been more enthralled with Invoq than he has with anyone in a long time. And maybe that’s because the rest of the townspeople are…well, townspeople. Invoq is different. Invoq isn’t from here, he’s—well, he may be temporary. Seize the moment and all that, right?

But there’s a niggling at the back of his mind that won’t go away. Something that says Invoq is familiar, in a way that sends little shivers down the back of his spine. Something that says he shouldn’t be falling so fast for what is so obviously a performance. 

He does his best to push it away as he nears the tent grounds. The fabric flaps in the breeze, the gold seal dulled by the lack of candlelight. He knocks on the wooden post and parts the flap. 

“Invoq? You here?”

No answer. He walks inside, pushing more fabric apart. No sign of him. 

“Invoq, if you’re trying to scare me, it’s not funny.” 

Still nothing. Maybe he’s stepped out for a moment. Tobias heads back out of the tent, walking down to the path that leads to the river. It’s a lovely walk this time of night, it wouldn’t surprise him if he came out this way to enjoy it. He wanders down to the riverbank, ready to take a seat, when something catches his eye. 

A box. 

Floating in the river. 

He frowns, getting closer. 

It’s not just any box. 

It’s Invoq’s box. 

The one he locks himself in. 

Bang. Bang. Bang. 

Tobias leaps forward, splashing into the water, uncaring about his boots or bag, and wrapping his hands around the box. The wood and metal dig into his fingers as he grits his teeth and pulls. 

The current yanks against him, determined to drag the box down the river. Tobias sets his jaw and pulls harder, a guttural roar emerging from his throat as he heaves the box onto the river bank. It lodges in the mud. A corner digs in and it stops. 

“Invoq,” he bellows, searching for a way to unlock the box, “Invoq, can you hear me?”

No response. He bites back a curse and scrabbles along the edge, looking for a seam, something, anything. He finds a latch and heaves. 

It clicks. Jammed. 

“Shit,” he snarls and reaches for his sword. He slams it against the latch. The metal tings and gives. “Hold on, Invoq.”

The wood splinters and groans as he throws the lid open. He reaches inside and fists Invoq’s shirt, pulling him out and laying him on the grass. 

“Come on, come on,” he mutters, checking to see if he’s breathing, if he has a pulse, if he’s alright, “come on!”

Invoq splutters. Coughs. Water comes out of his throat. 

“Okay, okay,” Tobias manages, rolling him onto his side and patting his back, “come on, get it out. River water tastes awful, trust me, I know.”

Invoq spasms and heaves and he winces, wondering if Agnes would be terribly pissed at him if he ran to get her help. 

“It’s going to be okay, I—“

“What did you do?”

The sudden shout startles him into silence. 

Invoq sits up, wiping the back of his mouth. Without waiting for Tobias to help him, without even looking at Tobias, he scrabbles up and over to his box. He looks at the damage—Tobias did have to mess it up quite a bit to get him out. 

When he looks back, the force of his glare makes Tobias’s knees go right back to the ground. 

“Do you have any idea how long it took me to make this?” He points a dagger-like finger at the box. “Do you know how hard it was to get everything right? And you, you great brute, you’ve ruined it!”

Irritation bubbles up in Tobias’s chest. “I was trying to save your life!”

“No one asked you to! I was fine!” Invoq looks back at the box. “And now look at my poor box! I ought to charge you for the price of fixing it!”

Invoq…Invoq is actually mad at him for saving his life. That’s what’s happening right now. Invoq is pissed that Tobias saved him and broke a wooden box to do it. 

And he’s threatening to make Tobias pay for it. 

“Are you fucking serious?”

Invoq whips around. “What?”

Tobias gets up, glaring right back. “You were drowning and I pulled you out, and all you can think about is the fucking box?”

Invoq’s eyes flare. “This ‘fucking box,’ as you so eloquently put it, is part of my livelihood. This isn’t like someone breaking your silly little sword, I can’t just go into any place and say ‘oh, can you fix this one-of-a-kind box for me?”

“My sword actually saves lives, Invoq,” Tobias growls, “unlike your box, which seems determined to end yours. It just saved your life as well, unless you very much missed that.”

“I was never in any danger! I—“

“You locked yourself in a box with no one else around and submerged it, you were coughing up water—“

“—and if you had just trusted me,” Invoq says, ignoring him, “then you wouldn’t have barged in like this!”

“How am I supposed to trust you when I don’t even know what’s going on?” Tobias throws his hands up. “I just stumbled across your box, locked, in a river, and you weren’t anywhere! How was I supposed to know someone hadn’t thrown you in there?”

“I was practicing, for your information.”

“You were—wait, practicing?”

“Yes, you brute,” Invoq snorts, folding his arms, “I have other acts I want to put on, you know. I needed to know—“

“So you did it by yourself with no one around to help you?”

“What part of magic shows is unclear to you? No one is supposed to know how it works! If I tell someone, it ruins the whole thing!”

“Oh, and heavens forbid you tell someone something that might save your life,” Tobias snarls, “because if you’d gotten stuck or something had gone wrong out here, you know what would’ve happened?”

“I’m sure you’re about to tell me what you think would happen.”

“You could’ve died! You could’ve died, Invoq, is that what you want? And for what? Some magic show that most people aren’t even going to see?”

Tobias winces. Oops. 

Invoq draws himself up. He stalks over to Tobias. “Is that all you think of me? Some dancing monkey to entertain you until you grow bored? I’ve heard talk of you in town, I know your type. You use people up until they bore you and move on.”

He should apologize. He should say he’s just worried. He should say he doesn’t think of Invoq like that. 

He doesn’t.

“You’re one to talk,” he spits, “hopping from town to town like that? Dazzling people until they get bored of you or you get bored of them and move on? Is that why you take such risks all the time, because you don’t want people to be bored of you?”

Invoq’s face contorts into a snarl and he stalks away, standing over the box. Tobias takes a deep breath. 

“Because it’s not worth it, Invoq, it’s not worth you getting hurt.”

Invoq scoffs. “You’re all the same, you people. You want the results without the hard work it takes to get there. You want to ooh and ahh at something spectacular but the minute you understand how it happens you pull yourself into a little ball and rock and whine about how it’s wrong. Pathetic.”

“Says the man who has to risk his own life just to prove he’s worth looking at,” Tobias snarls, stalking forward, “even if it’s only to himself.”

“Yeah, I’m really getting the ‘care’ right now,” Invoq spits, turning back to him, “thanks.”

“You just scared me half to death, Invoq, of course I—“

“No one asked you!” Invoq jabs a finger into his chest. “No one asked you to come here, no one asked you to save me, no one asked you to care about me!”

“Well, I do anyway!”

“Oh, for the love of—“

“Of course I care if you get hurt, if you die, and I don’t know if someone with as little self-preservation as you would’ve cared, but you would be dead. I have to—“

“Why?” Invoq shoves him back. “Go on, tell me why.”

“Invoq—“

“Because you’re a sellsword? Because that’s the only part of your personality that makes you worth looking at? Because you think pretending to be the good guy is interesting enough to make up for the fact that without it, there’s nothing else to you?”

He advances, smirking as Tobias takes a step back. 

“Go on, sellsword,” he sneers, “tell me how important you are. Tell me how good it is of you to care so much. Tell me. Tell me how useful you are.”

Tobias stands his ground as Invoq comes up to him. He looks up, mouth hardening. 

“You would’ve panicked. Your throat would’ve filled with water. It would’ve closed off to prevent water from getting into your lungs but you would’ve drowned. Your body would’ve bloated underwater in that river and some poor child would be the one to find you!”

Invoq leans closer. 

“Or maybe you’re just paranoid.”

There is a ringing in his ears, he realizes distantly. The world grinds to a halt. Everything is silent, and as he turns his focus inwards, he realizes his mind is completely silent too. The anger, the worry, everything churning inside him is gone, pushed so far away they might as well not be his anymore. 

Tobias has never felt this kind of disconnect before. 

He stands up straight. His expression smooths out. The hand that had been going for his sword drops away. When he speaks, his voice is cool and calm. 

“Good night, magician.”

He watches Invoq jerk back in shock, clearly unnerved by how stark the difference is, before he turns and walks away. He leaves them both by the riverside. 

He doesn’t remember the walk to the tavern, only sitting down as Evelyn waves the other patrons away. She brings him a tankard and asks no questions. He picks it up and drains it in one go. She brings him another. 

He drinks alone that night, and he doesn’t leave when the drunks start to get loud. 

They don’t get too loud. They know what it’s like when Tobias gets quiet. 

Virgil growls, shoving the pillow under his head. Then he shoves another one under there. Then another. Then he snarls and throws all three of them away. No matter what he tries, he can’t get comfortable. 

This wasn’t supposed to happen. This wasn’t supposed to happen. It’s supposed to be an escape, goddamnit, not whatever the fuck it’s turned into. 

He punches the pillow closest to him

Okay, maybe he shouldn’t have said some of that stuff to Invoq. But the idiot had almost fucking died and couldn’t even acknowledge it! Did he have no self-preservation? 

Virgil scoffs, turning on his back.

Why did Invoq have such a strong reaction to being told he had no self-preservation? It wasn’t like it was any worse than some of the other stuff he said to him. And if he’s being honest…it wasn’t the worst thing he said either. But then that really didn’t explain things, why would he act like having no self-preservation was the worst insult in the world?

The niggling feeling comes back. Something about trust, something about honesty, something about—

Virgil sits upright. 

Invoq hadn’t been wearing his gloves. When he was in the box, he hadn’t been wearing his gloves. 

Suddenly the self-preservation thing starts to make a little more sense. 

Janus curls himself tighter around a pillow, huddled under his blankets. Even with the heat lamp on, he’s still shivering. 

Fucking Tobias. Why did he have to do that? Why did he have to try and make him into some damsel in distress, and then when that didn’t work, into some sort of villain? He hadn’t done anything wrong, he was minding his own business, and here comes some big hunk to ruin everything. 

He huddles tighter. 

…maybe it wasn’t entirely fair to yell at him like that. He was only trying to help. Even if he didn’t ask for it. And he did seem genuinely scared for his safety, even if he then went off on some self-righteous speech about how he wanted to make sure he was safe and all that.

The memory of Tobias suddenly freezing, then the light behind his eyes dying as he bid him a calm and cold ‘good night’ makes him shiver. 

He pushed too far, obviously, but…but what was it? Was it poking fun at his intelligence? Mocking him for talking about being a sellsword again? Janus frowns, thinking. No, he’d only reacted like that when…

…when he’d called him ‘paranoid.’

He takes a while to get to sleep that night.

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#dragonbabbles #sanders sides #virgil sanders #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #fic

[just-some-gt-trash]

Sort of prequel of that fic where Roman picks flowers for Janus and they're both borrowers

Linked here!

This is soooo baaaad, but I wanted to do something for this au and my mind went dry. So here is a very short and cute(? thingy for day 7 of @sanders-spring Roceit

Also feel free to leave any name suggestions for this au

----------------------------------------

Janus should be fine right? Virgil wasn't hurt and was back home with him, why didn't he feel fine? That stupid human got into his head… but why?! Why was Roman so special that Janus couldn't get him out of his mind?

Virgil shifted on his arms and Janus looked down at his son. He sighed, falling in love with a human was a big no. They should move out according to the rules… but they were safe in this house since the humans knew about them, and he couldn't take Virgil away from his only friend.

Why was this so hard?! Logan and Remus’ family wasn't the best to live with, Patton made everything messier but easier for them. He hadn't expected Roman to move in, all those plants really annoyed Logan, Janus chuckled at the thought. But the pots and leaves made great hiding spots.

If Janus really thought about it, Roman only changed their lives for the better. If Remus and Logan hadn't been arguing, Logan would have found Virgil instead of Patton… He shivered, sure Logan had changed his view on borrowers thanks to Roma, but who knew what things he was capable of.

His life really changed when he found Virgil all those years ago. Janus wasn't planning to keep him, but his life was so much better when he had someone by his side… Roman made him feel that same realization he had when he adopted Virgil.

Janus buried his face in his son’s hair. Falling in love with a human wasn't ideal, how would that even work? Roman would kiss his entire head instead of just his lips, he could easily carry him and Virgil around like nothing! Sure some giant cuddles would be nice… but that wasn't the point! Come on Janus you’re trying to talk yourself out of this!

Janus fell asleep eventually, lost in his thoughts. His dream was so wonderful and happy. Roman was a borrower living with them, and they watched Virgil grow together, just what he wanted. But it was just that, a dream… right?

#sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides gt #roceitspring2022 #sandersspring2022 #roceit #roman sanders #janus sanders #paternal!anxceit #familiar!anxceit #familiar!logicality #familiar!intruality #side intrulogical #borrower!deceit #borrower!janus #borrower!virgil #gt #g/t

[candied-peach]

ao3: “bad thoughts” rating: T genre: hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending warnings: platonic anxceit, age regression, self deprecation, thoughts of ducking out description: Janus ends up in a downward spiral before Virgil finds out and comforts him.

Janus is a big boy. Janus is an adult, he means. 'Big boy' is far too childish and he is not childish because he is a grown-up and grown-ups don't cry about the way Roman made fun of their name, or the way Thomas may have accepted their presence but seems to think their existence is what makes him a flawed person. They don't cry about how Virgil hates them, or how they wish they could start over with Logan, or the way that Patton only now has considered that maybe, maybe, they're actually working to help Thomas. They especially don't cry about how sure they are that their best friend of all time, Remus, must hate them now, because he compared him to his twin and made a scathing comment about telling who's the evil twin.

Unfortunately, Janus doesn't seem to be a grown up after all, because he is crying in great, whooping gasps that he tries desperately to silence, tears pouring down his face. He is so upset, even his snake eye has managed to produce tears, and that almost never happens. It isn't supposed to happen. It's unnatural. Like the rest of him and his disgusting scales that mottle one side of his face, and the way the nails on one hand are a little too sharp and claw-like, and the fact the damnable scales meander down one side of his body and nearly take out a tuft of hair on his head. No one else has scales. No one else has a snake eye. No one else is wrong.

But Janus is wrong. Wrong and bad and- and evil. He hurts Thomas by existing, no matter how much he wishes he could help, and they would all be better off if he wasn't even there anymore. They would-

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," an achingly familiar voice says, as a blur of black and purple crouches next to him. "Deceit? Why- why are you thinking about ducking out?"

"Tol' my name," he blubbers, too out of it to realize exactly who it is who has heard his crying and come to investigate, who has felt the familiar ache of someone this close to ducking out and alarmed, decided to remedy the situation in any way possible. "Ro- Roman laughed  an'- an' said it was a librarian name, but I- I said somethin' so much worse-" His sobs re-double and he curls in on himself, hat abandoned to one side and hair in gloriously curly abandon. Another way he differs from the others. Another thing that marks him as not like the rest.

"What did you say, Jan?" The familiar voice asks softly, as familiar fingers begin to gently card through his hair.

"That- that it was a good thing Roman don't have a mustache, otherwise who'd know who the evil twin is," he tells on himself, his eyes wide and horrified and shimmering with a thousand tears, still spilling down his cheeks, scaled and human alike.

"That wasn't a great thing to say," the voice admits carefully, fingers still carding through his hair in just the way he likes and soothing him despite himself. "But Jan- what Roman said wasn't okay, either. There's nothing wrong with your name. And it sounds to me like it hurt you, and you lashed out. Would that be uh, accurate?"

Janus nods, his bottom lip wobbling. Virgil- for he finally realizes it is Virgil- sighs softly and scoops Janus up into his lap. Janus stiffens.

"You hate me," he says bleakly.

"I don't hate you," Virgil corrects. "I feel- complicated about you. When you're grown up. But I've never hated you, Jan. And especially not when you're little."

"You sure?" Janus asks, suspicious.

"Positive," Virgil says, squeezing him a little and holding him closer. "Now why don't we put on your softest pajamas and watch some cartoons until you forget you ever even thought about ducking out?"

"Okay," Janus says, readily enough. He looks up at Virgil, eyes still blurry with unshed tears, and flings his arms around Virgil's middle.

"If you don't want me to duck out, I won't," Janus whispers. "It's just...it's just hard."

"I know, little noodle," Virgil says softly, hugging him back. "I know. Do you need any help?"

"Course not," Janus says indignantly. "I'm a big boy."

"Even big boys can need help sometimes," Virgil points out. "It's okay if you do. I won't laugh at you or be mean." Janus considers that for a moment, then nods shyly.

"Help, please," he requests. It's hard to get the words out, but Virgil just stands, scooping him up like he weighs nothing.

"Thank you for trusting me," Virgil whispers in his ear, making Janus feel warm inside.

Maybe sometimes it is okay not to be a grown-up, if only for a little while.

#🍬.txt #sanders sides #platonic anxceit #ts agere #sanders sides agere #ts platonic agere #janus sanders #virgil sanders #janus #virgil #sanders sides fic #📚 #ok to rb #peach writes

[thecrowslullaby]

"What happened to all of our promises?" with Janus and Virgil? 💙

the prompt list and I’m gonna tag @sanders-spring while I’m at it bc this is technically familial anxceit (which is tomorrow, but I might be busy tomorrow so I'm posting it today. shhhhh, don't rat me out!).

Thank you for the the ask Lost!!!!!! I hope you'll like it!!!!

This did turn out angsty but in my defense I spent like a good two hours reading your fics so, like, I'm blaming you for this /lh

(it will get better if i do continue this au but this chapter does end up on a bitter note.)

Pairing: familial anxceit

Warnings: the story is centered around Virgil and Janus grieving for the same person, angst, implied neglectful parent, tell me if I missed anything.

Word count: 811

Ever since the accident Janus found himself sitting in his tiny living room in the dead of the night, trying to shield himself from the nightmares with nothing more but a wine glass.

The last few weeks were hard. Both on Janus and on the three kids that suddenly found themselves under his care.

Well…Perhaps ‘suddenly’ wasn't the best choice to be used here. The lawsuit was deliberate, even if John didn’t put up much of a fight in keeping his sons. Still, the pace of it all left Janus with little time to think of suitable housing arrangements for the kids and himself.

Right.

He still needed to call about that house on the outskirts

Janus rubbed his temple as he could feel the far-to-familiar headache coming back. Between fighting for his nephews, memorizing their school schedules, doctors appointments, keeping his current job and finding a new, bigger apartment Janus didn’t have enough time to breath, let alone grieve for his-

He tensed as he heard footsteps cracking down his stair. His body relaxing slightly when he caught sight of a familiar figure.

“Virgil?” The teen snapped his head to stare at the man, eyes wide, his body tense. Despite the dim light Janus could see the kid digging his nails into the sleeve of their sweater. “Would you like to sit with me?”

He was sure Virgil would run. Turn on his heel and disappear upstairs. Pretending like seeing Janus downstairs was another part of the bad dream that haunted them all since his mother died.

But he didn’t.

Instead he moved slowly, eyes fixed on the carpet as he edged closer to the lawyer. Janus scooted to the edge of his tiny sofa to give the teen space but to his surprise Virgil sat right next to him. Silently leaning against his uncle' side.

It felt familiar.

Safe.

Like he was a child again, sneaking into Maria’s room after a particularly bad dream. His sister calmed him with soft whispers and gentle hugs as they sat on the floor, hiding under her soft purple duvet. Her pink flashlight flickering as she rusted his hair, telling him it was ok now. She’ll be there whenever he wakes up from a bad dream to keep him safe.

He draped the yellow blanket he sat under over Virgil’s legs.

It felt tense.

Horribly awkward.

Like the both of them still learned how to exist around each other again.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

He hooked his arm around his nephew, rubbing soothing circles up and down his arm as Virgil leaned closer.

He wasn’t good at consoling people. That was always his sister’s job. Happy and vibrant. Ready to heal everyone with just the gentlest of smiles.

But she wasn’t here anymore, leaving Janus to pick up the shards of her broken family, cutting his fingers on every sharp piece as he tried desperately to glue the back together.

But it wasn’t enough, because she was gone and for the first time since her wedding there wasn’t a lie Janus could tell to fix things. All his flowery language rendered useless because no matter what he said it still wouldn’t bring her back. And every excuse, every assurance felt hollow.

“What happened to all our promises?”

“What?” Janus blinked himself back from his train of thought. Letting Virgil's words slowly sink in.

“Mom-” Virgil raised his sleeve to furiously rub at his eye. “she promised she would show us the old tree house grandma built. She promised she would bake.-” his voice hitched as his nails dug into Janus' arm.”-She would bake that frog- frog cake Pat- and… and I wanted to-... to help but…-”

Janus squeezed him tighter, Virgil gripping the back of his uncle's shirt like their life depended on it. Letting go of whatever shaky walls were still in place as he bawled his eyes out.

They sounded quiet and broken, like despite all this he still tried to make sure he wouldn't wake his younger siblings up. Janus continued to rub circles along his nephew's back. Not stopping when the teen finally stopped shaking with every shallow breath he took.

“-she promised she would stay.” It was barely above a whisper and if Virgil wasn’t soaking his shoulders with tears Janus would have missed it.

“I know.” Janus said, hating how much his voice trembled. He could feel warm tears sliding down his cheeks as well, burning every inch of his skin on it’s path, but he didn’t dare raise his arms, still tightly wrapped around Virgil, to dab it away.

They stayed like that, neither of them daring to move. All that shielded them from the world was the thin yellow blanket. But unlike all these times Maria told him all would be ok, this wasn't a nightmare they could wake up from.

#familial anxceit #ts virgil #ts janus #ts sides #cawtent #janus sanders #virgil sanders #this story is just an excuse to write some single parents au. my beloved again #sandersspring2022 #Anxceitspring2022

[iclaimedtobethebetterbard]

Oh, would you be willing to do Anxceit with the prompt Home?

Also if you do could you tag me over at creative-lampd-liberties pls 😊

you got it!! :) @creative-lampd-liberties let’s go with a fantasy au this time!! shaking things up lol. i actually really really love how this turned out??? i got very carried away with it lol. but tbh i’d love to write more for this au sometime and figure out things like how janus and virgil met/got together, and what the others sides’ roles in the au are!! this was very fun to write. hope u enjoy!

-

Virgil couldn’t help but break into a grin as the path emerged from the woods into familiar open fields. A small shape, not quite distinguishable, and a thin trail of smoke rising from it were visible in the distance, located just before the path disappeared into another patch of forest. Virgil urged his horse forward. Perhaps it was only his imagination, but it seemed like the creature was eager, too, more willing to hurry than he would normally expect of the horse after so long on the road already.

The dirt road narrowed until it was a path barely big enough for two to walk side-by-side; the tall grass at either side dangled over it, brushing against Virgil’s legs. It was a warm, sunny day, with a few wispy clouds here and there in the sky. That was good, even though it made Virgil in his dark purple tunic and leather armor a little overheated; Janus liked warm weather.

The house in the distance grew bigger and bigger as he drew closer to it. Eventually Virgil dismounted his horse, taking the reins in his hand and heading towards the house at a half-run, the horse following behind him.

He could make out the little cottage clearly now, its walls all of dark gray stone; a split-rail fence bordered the large yard. A handful of chickens, all of them black, were scratching in the dirt. A straw broom was floating upright in the air nearby them—it seemed to be shepherding them, batting them back when they moved too close to the fence. Green smoke trailed from the chimney; the windows were open, tattered black lace curtains fluttering in the breeze. There was a fire in a corner of the yard, a huge black cauldron propped over it. Interestingly, the steam rising from the cauldron was a perfectly normal pale gray color, though Virgil was certain the fire beneath it was far more magical than the one in the inside fireplace.

But much more importantly, in a long black dress with a full skirt and black lace gloves, bending over the cauldron and stirring it with a long, long wooden spoon, a single long braid dangling forward over his shoulder, broad-brimmed pointy hat shielding his face, was Janus.

Virgil slowed as he began to near the gate, drinking in the sight of his husband absorbed in his work. His heart was practically in his throat, which felt suddenly swollen up with emotion; it had been so long.

Janus sprinkled some herbs from a pouch on his belt into the cauldron, then stretched, leaning back. He must have seen Virgil out of the corner of his eye, because he turned sharply toward the gate. His eyes widened and his hand flew to his mouth—he dropped the spoon into the cauldron, and then he was running, sprinting across the yard towards Virgil, one hand clinging to his hat so the wind didn't blow it off, his skirt billowing out behind him. Virgil, a grin splitting his face wide, took a few running steps forward to meet him.

Janus caught him at the gate, not even bothering to open it, simply reaching over it and dragging Virgil in by the front of his tunic and pressing their mouths together in a kiss so desperate and longing that it almost filled, all by itself, the ache of missing-Janus that Virgil had been carrying in his chest for the past eight months.

“You’re home,” Janus said, breaking the kiss with a gasp for air and pressing their faces close together. He climbed up onto the rail of the gate, still clinging to Virgil, and leaned down to kiss him again, warm and clinging and a little messy for how eager and careless it was.

Virgil wrapped his arms about Janus’s knees and lifted him clean over the gate; he twirled him gently, once, twice, and lowered him with care to his feet. “I’m home,” he agreed, his voice hardly more than a hoarse, choked-up whisper.

“It’s been so long,” Janus said, sounding on the verge of tears, and promptly sealed their lips together again.

“I know,” Virgil mumbled against his mouth. “I know. I’m sorry.”

Janus pressed their foreheads together and closed his eyes. “I’d do seeing spells to find you sometimes,” he said wetly. “When I got too lonely. You always looked so tired.”

“I was tired a lot of the time,” Virgil said. He cupped Janus’s cheek in his hand and caressed it with his thumb. “Couldn’t always get myself to sleep right when we made camp in strange places. Too anxious. Damn quests.” He leaned in and kissed his husband once again. “I missed you so.”

Janus made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a sniffle, tucking his face into the crook of Virgil’s neck. “You got hurt once.” He sounded almost angry, though it didn’t seem directed at Virgil.

Virgil winced. He had hoped he wouldn’t have to talk about that—his party had encountered a griffin while it was out hunting, and three of them had taken some solid wounds from its claws before they could drive it off. “I did,” he admitted. “But I’m alright now.” That had been months ago, and aside from the scarring on his upper arm, there was little trace it had even happened

“I could have fixed it in an hour if you’d been home,” Janus said angrily into his neck. “You wouldn’t have needed all those awful bandages.”

Virgil wrapped his arms more tightly around Janus. “Well, I’m home now,” he soothed, lifting Janus’s hat long enough to press a kiss to the top of his head. “And perfectly safe and well, even without healing potions from my favorite witch.”

Janus nodded. He reached back with one hand to open the gate, and pulled Virgil through it. “Stay,” he pleaded, clutching at Virgil’s tunic and pulling him further into the yard. “Stay home with me.”

“For as long as I can,” Virgil promised, sliding his arm around Janus’s waist. As he led his horse to the little barn behind the house and stabled him, he didn’t let go of Janus for any longer than he had to.

“I’ll hex the damn king and then he won’t be able to send you on any more quests,” Janus said, frowning, as they exited the barn. “I will. I’d enjoy it.”

Virgil chuckled, even as a shot of fear went through him at Janus even voicing the suggestion. “I’d rather you didn’t get yourself arrested for treason, actually, if it’s all the same to you,” he suggested.

Janus wrinkled his nose. “I wouldn’t get caught.” He sounded disgusted, offended by the mere idea.

“I’m sure,” Virgil said placatingly, pushing open the door of the house. “Even still. Please don’t.” He swept Janus’s feet out from under him and carried him into the house, planting a sweet kiss to his mouth. “There are less drastic measures that could be tried first.”

Janus huffed and looked away. “I’ll consider it,” he said begrudgingly

“Thanks, love.” Virgil kissed his cheek, settling into one of the wooden chairs at the kitchen table and situating Janus more comfortably in his lap. He paused, glancing at the window. “Do you need to put out that fire you had going outside?”

“Oh!” Janus straightened, drew a sigil in the air, and snapped his fingers twice. “Not anymore.” He leaned back into Virgil’s hold. “You should take off your armor,” he suggested, drawing a line along one of Virgil’s pauldrons with his finger. “And relax. Oh, and I’ve been making more hormone potions for you.”

“Oh, good.” Virgil felt a part of himself relax, something deep inside him that had been tense and anxious for so long now he had almost forgotten it. He hadn’t packed enough of the potions when he left; the quest had lasted longer than anticipated, and even trying to make them last, he’d run out a month ago. Of course Janus would have kept track of that. “I’d like that. All the different things you said.”

Janus nodded, hopping to his feet and crossing to the potion cupboard. Virgil took the time to bend down and unbuckle his greaves and his swordbelt, setting them aside.

Janus returned with the potion poured into a wooden mug and helped Virgil out of his pauldrons, bracers, and breastplate, stacking them beside the greaves. The armor really ought to be hung up and out away properly, but Virgil found he couldn’t care less about that; it would survive a few hours on the floor.

“There,” Janus breathed, sounding both satisfied and relieved, as Virgil picked up the mug and downed the testosterone potion in a few swigs. As Virgil set the empty mug down on the table, Janus drew in a sudden, sharp breath, and pressed both his hands to his mouth, staring at him.

“What?” Virgil asked, halfway between confusement and concern.

“You’re really home,” Janus said by way of explanation, his voice shaking slightly.

Virgil held out his arms, and Janus fell at once into them, climbing to straddle his lap and wrap his arms around Virgil’s neck and press their cheeks together. “I want to just stay here,” Janus announced after a moment, “right here, for the rest of the day. And not let go of you even for a minute.”

Virgil turned his head slightly to kiss Janus’s temple, running one hand soothingly up and down his back as the other curled firmly around his waist, holding him in place. “I think that is an excellent idea,” he said.

“Of course it is, I had it,” Janus tossed back idly, but he was smiling wide.

Virgil reached for Janus’s face and pulled him in; Janus went eagerly, eyes falling shut as Virgil pressed their mouths together, trying almost to meld them into one being just by holding Janus as close as he possibly could. They only broke apart after a long moment to breathe, lips barely parting from each other.

Virgil closed his eyes and relaxed, still trading kisses incessantly with his husband, perched happily in his lap.

He really was home.

-

[send me a prompt and get a small fic!]

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #thatsthat24 #anxceit #virgil sanders #janus sanders #ts virgil #ts janus #ts fic #ts fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #peregrin writes #peregrin said a thing #peregrin answers #peregrin plays a game #prompt #awitchbravestheverge #creative-lampd-liberties

[lily-janus]

Closer Than Before

Summary: Virgil comes back to find his apartment trashed and calls the police... but he didn't expect to have a history with the cop that arrived...

Pairing: post-romantic anxceit

Warnings: swearing, panic attacks, robbery.

Word count: 1,771

I'm late but this is my fic for the first day of @tss-anxceit-week Close & Distant, hope you like it!

---------------------------------------

Virgil froze as he entered his apartment.

Clothes thrown on the floor.

Window shattered.

Drawers half open.

Everything's just a big mess.

This wasn't how he left it when he left for work… he… he'd been…

Robbed.

As the realization sank in, so did the panic. His breathing became hitched, his heart pounding in his chest like a caged animal trying to break loose, spots decorating his vision.

He shakily tried to take deep breaths as he reached for his phone and dialed 911.

He could barely get the words out through his panicked panting to explain what happened and tell them his address, and then they hang up.

And now he has to wait.

It felt like years passed when he finally heard the sirens and rushed out of the building to greet the cops.

But he definitely was not prepared to see an achingly familiar face coming out of the police car.

He barely had time to turn his back and pull his hood tight over his face before… he spotted him.

The universe must truly hate him.

Like, seriously? What are the odds, out of all the cops in the city… Why him?

"I take it you're the resident of the robbed apartment?" He said in his usual smooth voice.

Without turning to face him, Virgil nodded.

"Okay…" he said slowly, "I'm going to need your name and a list of everything that went missing."

Fuck, fuck, fuck… this is so bad…

Why him? Why him? Why HIM?

"Not much of a talker are you?" The teasing, followed by the familiar chuckle, and Virgil's sure his eyebrow is raised too. "That's too bad for you cause I can't help unless you cooperate. I promise I won't bite."

God he can hear his smirk behind the words… some things never change…

A warm hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, I know this is scary, but it's going to be okay, I'll do everything I can to help you. I just need you to work with me, alright?" And then… gentleness, so unexpected, so sweet… so needed.

With a long sigh, Virgil took off the hood and turned around to his ex's shocked face.

"Hey Janus…"

…

3 years ago

Virgil heaved a sigh as he dialed his boyfriend's number.

…and another when it went to voicemail for the 4th time.

He was sitting on the flat armrest of their couch, hugging his knees to his chest, staring at his phone as tears blurred his vision, 2 hours after Janus said he'll be home.

He's fine, he's fine, he's… he has to be fine…

Virgil knows Janus' job as a cop can have emergencies pop up that can delay him but… he can at least shoot him a quick text, he knows how easily Virgil's thoughts spiral.

He perks up when the door to their flat finally swings open to reveal his tired, but undoubtedly satisfied, boyfriend.

"You won't believe what happened!" Janus started as he closed the door behind him, "we got this random call that turned out to be just the clue we were missing and then… what's wrong?" Janus stopped, at last noticing Virgil's tear-stained face.

Virgil said nothing as he held up his phone to show the 4 missed calls, "I… I didn't know where you were… you didn't say anything I thought…" a choked sob cut him off and he wiped his cheeks with the back of his hand.

"Hey… I'm fine, see?" Janus said in that gentle tone of his that usually had Virgil melting… but not this time.

"A quick text is too much to ask? A small 'hey babe I'll be home late, don't stay up'? Is that really so hard? How am I supposed to know what's going on if you won't tell me?" Virgil hated how shaky his voice was right now but he was still recovering from the hours of imagining every worse-case scenario.

"Look, I'm sorry, there was so much going on I completely forgot I-"

Virgil held out his hand to stop him, "don't… just… don't, I can't do this anymore…"

Janus swallowed, voice wobbly as he asked, "what are you saying?"

Virgil stood up, not meeting Janus' eyes, "you clearly care more about your job than me… so lets spare you needing to choose… it's over, Janus, we're done." He turned his back to him, fresh tears streaming down his face as he walked out.

"Wait! That's not true!" Janus pleaded, grabbing his hand desperately, "please… give me another chance, I swear I'll do better!" His voice cracked.

Before he could lose his nerve, he shook free of Janus' grip, "you're out of chances…"

…

Now

"Virgil…"

Virgil couldn't read Janus' tone as he said his name, his voice full of emotion he couldn't place.

He wrecked a hand through his hair, "well… this is awkward…" he chuckled uncomfortably.

"You… you look good, I mean… you look like you're doing good… not that I don't think you look good good but um.." Janus mumbled then let out a sigh, "it's nice to see you." He finally said, giving him a small smile.

Virgil just shrugged, trying to ignore his pounding heart, "still a cop?" He half stated, half asked.

"What? This?" Janus gestured to his uniform, "nah, it's just a costume."

Virgil was surprised to find himself chuckling, making Janus smile at the sound. He always had a knack for making Virgil laugh.

Janus cleared his throat, "so um… you were robbed?"

The question brought Virgil back to the present and images of his trashed apartment flooded his mind.

His panic from earlier made a comeback as well. He was robbed. Someone snooped around his personal space, stole his things!

"Virgil? Hey, deep breaths okay? I promise it's not as bad as it seems just… breathe with me alright?" Janus took him by the shoulder, taking deep breaths to demonstrate and Virgil did his best to follow his lead…

Just like old times…

"There you go, now why don't you show me your place so me and my team can search the scene of the crime?" Janus said gently and Virgil nodded, anxiety still spiraling but at least he was breathing now.

The next few hours were a blur of Virgil watching the cops work and answering their questions and, before he knew it, it was just him and Janus again.

"Okay so, we'll check the security cameras to see if they got a glimpse of the robber and I'll contact your insurance so you'll get your money back for the TV they stole and the damadge to the apartment" Janus said, checking things off his list before closing his notebook and offering him a smile. "Everything's going to be okay."

Virgil breathed a sigh of relief, feeling himself finally calming down, "thanks." He said lamely.

"So um… how've you been? It's… been a while…" Janus asked hesitantly.

"Don't you have work to do?" He intended it as a genuin question but it came out snappier than he meant, probably reminding Janus the main reason they broke up.

Janus breathed out sharply, nodding, "okay, yeah, I deserved that."

There was an awkward pause after that that seemed to stretch for hours but was probably only a few minutes.

"I've… been good." Virgil said slowly, "got a pretty good gig at a nearby pet store, pays well enough and my boss is obnoxiously sweet." Virgil said with a slight smile as he remembered Patton's freckled face smiling at him, "I guess that makes sense, given the fact he literally owns a puppies and kittens business." Virgil added, before briefly looking at Janus.

"How about you?"

Janus chuckled nervously, toying with something familiar on his wrist that Virgil didn't notice up until now.

His voice was thick when he asked, "you're still wearing it?"

Janus' cheeks flushed a deep red as he looked down at what his hands were doing, playing with the bracelet Virgil made him for his birthday back when they were dating. "I… never took it off.." he admitted, the red on his cheeks deepening.

Virgil felt an ache in his chest, "I'm sor-"

"Don't," Janus shook his head, "you were right… I was a total jerk to you… I didn't have my priorities straight back then." He explained.

"And, to answer your question, I'm doing pretty well too. I'm pushing to get a promotion soon which would hopefully let me have more control over my hours so I can spend more time with Logan." Janus answered, his voice going soft on the name.

Virgil raised an eyebrow, "Logan? Who's that?"

Janus cleared his throat, "no one! Really!" He added when he saw Virgil's skeptic look.

Virgil chuckled, "if you say so Lover Boy." He laughed harder when Janus flushed once again at the nickname.

This was… this was going surprisingly well. Sure, it was a bit awkward at first but… he forgot how easily it felt to just.. Be, when he was with Janus, regardless of the nature of their connection.

And he was also relieved that he didn't seem to hold on to the same feelings he felt before towards Janus.

"I missed you." Virgil was surprised to find himself saying that, knowing it was true.

Janus flashed him his signature smirk, "couldn't stop thinking about me huh?"

Now it was Virgil's turn to blush, "you wish… Though I did have a thought or two about all those hoodies you stole from me."

Janus pretended to be offended, "you gave those to me!"

"I let you borrow them because you kept whining about how cold you were every time we were going out." Virgil corrected with a smirk of his own.

"Well sucks for you, I have no idea where they are." Janus insisted, tone still playful.

"Liar." Virgil snorted.

They smiled at each other when Janus' phone suddenly rang.

He shot Virgil a regretful look before going to the side and answering, coming back after a few minutes.

"Sorry but… I gotta go now." He said through a sigh.

Virgil shrugged, "that's fine… it was… nice to see you too, Jan."

The use of the familiar nickname seemed to light up Janus' face, "yeah… I'm glad I came here." He turned to leave.

"And hey, don't be a stranger, alright?" Virgil shot him a small smile when he turned around, his expression a mixture of relief and surprise.

"I won't… and, you have my number… I'll see you soon." And with that, he finally left.

They were never going to go back to the way they were… but maybe this was better, healthier…

Closer…

#sanders sides #tss-anxceit-week #anxceit week 2023 #close & distant #virgil sanders #janus sanders #post romantic anxceit #anxceit #Lily writes #tw panic attack #cw robbery #cw swearing

[i-am-bitterly-jittery]

On Death’s Doorstep (pt 3/?)

Part 1, Part 2, [], Part 3.5

Word Count: 1090

Rating: Teen

Pairings: parental Moxiety, future Anxceit (an actual crumb this time)

Warnings: past domestic and child abuse, injury, allusions to murder, kidnapping(?)

~~~START~~~

Years of having virtually no privacy had taught Virgil to wake up without giving any indication that he was awake; his eyes stayed closed, his breathing remained even, and his expression stayed blank as he ran through a mental checklist.

Was he in pain? Yes.

Where was it? Everywhere, but especially his head — which was killing him — his ribs — which were screaming — and his feet — which throbbed dully with every beat of his heart.

What happened last? Orin was mad about something (at this point Virgil was pretty sure that anger issues came with the super strength), and he’d…

Orin got mad a lot; it was fine, Virgil was used to it, but when he was mad, it was a little hard for him to control his strength. It was fine! Everyone had their moments of anger, and just because Orin had super strength didn’t mean that he didn’t deserve to feel! Plus, Virgil had healing powers. It was fine. It was!

Until it wasn’t.

Virgil almost broke his sleeping façade just thinking about it. He’d acted rashly, and it was something that would haunt him forever.

But Patton was hurt. Patton was screaming, and Virgil would do anything in his power to keep him safe.

Even that.

Using his homing beacon, Virgil felt for Patton’s presence, and was pleasantly shocked to find it closer than he’d expected. (Orin’s bond was gone completely, but Virgil desperately shoved that aside for the time being.)

Patton was close enough, Virgil realized, that he could hear the toddler snoring lightly, his breath sweeping lightly against Virgil’s own face. Good. Patton was close, Patton was breathing.

Patton’s wasn’t the only breathing he could hear.

Right, he went to Serpentine for help. Virgil felt for Serpentine’s bond, expecting them to be the person currently in the room with him.

They were not. They were close — somewhere above him — but it wasn’t Serpentine’s breathing that Virgil could hear. It was Gemini’s.

There were currently five Gemini bonds: one within a few feet of him, one slightly farther away (but likely still in the room), and three more in various places farther up. Inspecting the rest of his bonds, Virgil found that Dr. Frankenstein was also nearby, suggesting that his three seemingly unrelated villains were familiar with each other, possibly even working together.

If Virgil weren’t in the position he was in — if he were still a hero, still working to protect the city — then he would be concerned about the villains’ nefarious plans. But as it was… he still cared about people, he still wanted to be able to help them, but he couldn’t go back to the life he’d had.

He wouldn’t want to.

Pushing aside the villains, Virgil focused on his government handlers, praying to whomever was listening that they weren’t close. Someone must have been on his side because none of them were in the area; it was hard to tell where they were, but he took solace in the knowledge that it was far enough.

Satisfied with his and his son’s relative safety, and with his head pounding even worse than when he’d woken up, Virgil fell back into unconsciousness.

~~~

The next time he woke up, his headache was so bad that he couldn’t even feint sleep. He groaned, even through his eyelids, the light of the room was too much to bear. He tried to bring his hands up to clutch at his pounding head to block out the blinding light, and heal whatever it was that was chipping at his skull with an ice pick.

“Tried” was the operative word as both his hands were stopped after barely an inch by metallic cuffs on each wrist.

“Here,” a familiar voice said — though Virgil was in no shape to try and place it — as whatever Virgil was laying on moved to prop him in a reclined position instead.

After the surface stopped moving, there was a small click, and one of his hands was able to move farther. He brought it up to his head, but it was intercepted halfway there by a gloved hand wrapping around his forearm.

“Oh yes, that’s definitely a good idea,” the same voice drawled, there was some hidden meaning to the words, but Virgil’s brain was too cloudy to find it. “It’s not like it’s been at least twelve hours since the last time you ate. You absolutely have the energy to heal yourself.”

Virgil tried to pry his eyelids apart, but all he could make out was a vaguely human shape in front of him before they slammed shut again.

The person sighed and used their freehand to place something in Virgil’s hand. “Here’s a granola bar,” they said, speaking softly. “It’s unwrapped; start with that.”

The gloved hand released Virgil’s arm, and he reluctantly brought the granola bar up to his mouth. He hadn’t even known how hungry he was until the first bite, then he was hit with a painfully hollow feeling in his stomach.

He didn’t realize he was crying until gloved fingers were wiping the tears away.

“You’ll be alright,” the person said. “We have plenty of food.”

“You’re letting your feelings cloud your judgment,” a second voice said, cold and commanding. Virgil was having trouble stringing together coherent thoughts, but he was fairly certain the second person wasn’t speaking to him.

“And you’re letting your ‘judgement’ cloud your humanity,” the first person fired back.

“You’re the one who doesn’t believe in society,” the second person replied haughtily.

“I don’t believe in conforming to society,” the first person corrected. “If I didn’t value people then I wouldn’t live with them. I’d be a recluse in the woods or something — like the unabomber.”

“I fail to see the difference.”

“Then maybe you should put your glasses on.”

“My goggles are prescription, thank you.”

While the voices continued to squabble, Virgil finished off the granola bar. He didn’t actually feel any better, but he brought his hand up to his head again anyway. No one stopped him, both voices too preoccupied with their argument about morality or something — he wasn't sure why, but a distant part of Virgil’s mind was sardonically amused but their chosen topic.

The white glow of his healing powers must have altered the other people of his actions as the first voice cried out a protest, grabbing onto Virgil’s arm once more; but it was too late, he’d already used up what little energy he’d gotten from the granola bar trying to heal his headache.

He passed out again.

~~~END~~~

Originally this idea was just gonna be a one-shot on AO3, but it’s officially multi-chapter now, I have a plot and everything! I even have a subplot that will either be in this fic, or will end up in its own fic

I drew up a costume design for Gemini! I’ll do Knightcaster and Dr. Frankenstein soon (and Serpentine, but their costume is pretty similar to canon Janus)

ODD Masterlist

ODD taglist:

@royalty-of-all-things-snuggly @pixelated-pineapple @knight-shives @lost-in-thought-20 @remy-the-lemon-berry @jinxcrafter @apinkline2715

#sanders sides #ts sanders sides #virgil sanders #janus sanders #logan sanders #future anxceit #parental moxiety #parent virgil #thursday writes #my writing #superhero au #on death’s doorstep #sanders sides fanfiction

[naminethewriter]

One's Hometown, One's New Home

Chapter Seven: Learning About Each Other

Masterpost | First | Previous | Ao3

@tss-anxceit-week

Summary: Janus’ hometown is a usually quiet place where everyone knows everyone. So when someone new moves in, they’re usually the hottest topic of local gossip. The newcomer then comes by the library Janus works at, he can’t help but chat with him a little. Doesn’t hurt that he’s good looking as well.

Content Warnings: None, just fluff 💛💜

~~*~~

Janus smiled as he saw Virgil enter the diner. It was their first date. After they kissed, they both agreed that it was too early for them to commit to a relationship, but they wanted to give dating a try. Thankfully, Virgil’s leg was fully healed only two days later, so they agreed on having dinner together that Friday.

“Hello,” Janus greeted as Virgil closed the distance. “You look dashing today.”

The other flushed.

“I didn’t really do anything different.”

“Really now? So you didn’t pay extra attention to your make-up, ironed your shirt and wore a pair of pants that came fresh out of the wash?”

“Stupid naga senses,” Virgil mumbled, his face becoming an even deeper red. “Like you didn’t dress up.”

“Oh, I did,” Janus grinned, spinning on the spot so let his long, black skirt twirl. “I just don’t mind admitting to it.”

“Let’s just go in already,” Virgil sighed and Janus chuckled. He opened the door to the diner and let Virgil step in first.

“Jan! Hi!” Amilia, an older woman that had worked there for ages, greeted. “And looking so handsome as well. You’re going to get all the ladies talking about you again.”

“I can’t help it that I have the best fashion sense in this town,” Janus winked and Amilia laughed, leading them to an empty table.

“Be right with you two.” She hurried away.

“It’s still weird to me how you know everyone no matter where you go.” Virgil shook his head, looking after her.

“You’ll get used to it. I’m sure, soon enough you’ll get to know most of them, too. The only reason they haven’t talked your ear off is because you seem like you’d have a heart attack if they looked at you for too long.”

“Stop messing with me.”

“I’m not!”

Virgil looked at Janus with a raised brow and he held up his hands in defense.

“Okay, maybe I’m wording it in a way to tease you, but essentially it’s true. You’re a very obvious introvert and they don’t want to scare you off. So they focus their attention on me to give you a chance to get used to things.”

“You country folk are weird.” Despite Virgil’s words, Janus could see him trying to hide a smile.

“Then tell me more about what ‘city folk’ are like.” Janus actually mimed quotation marks and Virgil couldn’t help but laugh.

From there their conversation flowed easily. They swapped stories about their childhoods, discussed their favorite movies, discovered that they had the same favorite author and so on. The food was also delicious, and Janus was very comfortable. He did notice however, that Virgil got more tense as the evening continued, so he declined Amilia’s offer of the dessert menu and instead asked for the check.

Virgil insisted on paying, in part as a thank you for Janus helping him with his leg. Janus let him with the condition that he could cook for him next time.

As they stepped out of the diner – which had gotten a bit crowded over time – Janus watched Virgil’s shoulders relax.

“Was it too much in there?” he asked as they walked down the street. Their homes were in the same direction and a comfortable walking distance away.

“Of course you noticed,” Virgil sighed but there was a fondness in his voice. “Yeah, but I’ve always been more comfortable outdoors than inside. I’m also a bit claustrophobic. Since the whole wolf thing it’s become almost an urge to go outside sometimes. The familiar I am with a space, the better it is though.”

“Well then, I will make sure to consider that for any future dates.” Janus winked at Virgil whose cheeks turned red again.

~*~

True to his word, Janus invited Virgil to his home for their next date.

“Welcome, Virgil dear,” he greeted him at the door. “I’m still in the middle of preparing the food. I hope you won’t mind joining me in the kitchen.”

“Not at all. Nice apron.” Virgil took off his boots as Janus already hurried back to the stove.

“Thank you! It was a gift from my grandmother.”

“I wouldn’t have guessed with the embroidered ‘Granny’s favorite.’”

“She was the kind to embarrass me on purpose,” Janus laughed.

“Well, you’re the one who chose to use it during a date,” Virgil pointed out as he entered the kitchen and looked over Janus’ shoulder. “You want any help with that? I’m not a great cook, but I’m sure I could do something useful.”

“No,” came the immediate reply.

“You didn’t have to turn me down that fast,” Virgil laughed to hide how he was slightly hurt by the quick rejection.

“Sorry.” Janus turned down a dial on the stove before turning to Virgil with a sheepish expression. “It’s nothing personal, I just don’t like cooking with others. I have my systems and can get very irritated when something’s out of place.”

“Oh. That’s kind of funny.”

“Be quiet and sit down,” Janus pouted and Virgil laughed.

~*~

“A festival?”

“Yes, the next town over. A forty-minute drive from here. They have food stalls, a small rollercoaster and a ferris wheel. I’ve been a few times, it’s a nice atmosphere. Plus, there’s a firework show at the end.” Janus held out the flyer for Virgil to take but he looked very reluctant.

“I don’t know. Sounds like a lot of people.”

Janus narrowed his eyes. “There’s more to it than that. I don’t mind not going but please be honest with me about your reasons. I don’t want to overstep any of your boundaries if I can help it.”

Virgil mumbled something under his breath. Janus put the flyer away and grabbed his hands gently.

“Louder, please? I promise I won’t think any less of you.”

“The fireworks. I don’t like fireworks. They’re loud and since my turning my hearing’s gotten better, so it’s even worse now.”

“Okay. That’s fine. We can leave early if that’s the main reason. Of course, we don’t have to go at all either.”

“No, I’d like to go. As long as we’re gone before the fireworks start.”

“Wonderful. I’ll look forward to it.”

~*~

“She really should have known better,” Janus commented, eyes fixated on the screen as they watched The Princess Diaries. Mia was just running away from the paparazzies after her kiss with Josh. “Like he was so obviously only after the publicity.”

“She’s fifteen and had a crush on him for ages, give her some slack,” Virgil snorted.

“I was smarter when I was fifteen.”

“Oh, shut up. You wanted to watch this movie. You said it’s one of your favorites.”

“It is! Doesn’t change the fact that Mia is a bit stupid in this one.”

“Like she learned anything for the second one. She’s just as bad with Nicholas.”

“True. Maybe she shouldn’t lead a country.”

They continued their back and forth throughout the rest of the movie and Virgil couldn’t help but watch Janus more than the screen.

~*~

Virgil couldn’t concentrate on his book. He and Janus were reading on the latter’s couch, enjoying the quiet afternoon. It’s been three weeks since the bear trap incident and honestly, Virgil hadn’t thought he could get so comfortable with another person so quickly.

Which made the prospect of the coming full moon all the more anxiety inducing.

Yes, Janus knew he was a werewolf. Had even already seen him in his wolf form. But it would be different this time.

This time he would know that it was him.

Virgil wasn’t worried that he would hurt him – he had the wolf fully under control – but impulse control was a lot harder, and he was wanton to do some embarrassing things.

“Virgil dear?”

Janus’ voice startled him out of his thoughts and he looked over to the other who had placed his book down and watched him with worried eyes.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, fine.” His voice broke and Janus looked at him unimpressed but empathetic. (Only he could pull that look off, somehow.) “Just thinking too much,” he admitted. Janus offered him his hand and Virgil took it gratefully. Somehow just holding on to Janus calmed him down.

“It’s just that the full moon’s approaching, so I’ll need to shift at least a few hours each day to be comfortable and… I’m kind of embarrassed.”

Understanding lit up in Janus’ eyes and he smiled.

“Oh, darling, I’m sure it will only endear me to you more.”

“You don’t know that.”

“True. But from what you told me, it sounds like a fun time. I actually look forward to seeing you a bit more loose than usual. You so rarely let yourself truly relax.”

“I’m probably going to drag you with me to the woods.”

“That’s fine. I like the woods. I’ll make sure to keep a flashlight and compass on my person.”

“I’ll want to play.”

“I’d love to see that.”

“I’m gonna get cuddly.”

“Oh no, the horror!” Janus exclaimed with an eyeroll. He looked at Virgil with a teasing smile on his lips. “I promise you, dear, I’ll come into it with an open mind and not judge you for what the wolf you does. I might tease you a bit about it, but you have to cut me some slack, you’re just too adorable when you get red like that.”

Virgil buried his head in his knees to hide his flush.

“You’re being unfair.”

“Sorry, you just make it so easy and fun to do.”

“I hate you.”

“Then let go of my hand.”

“No.”

Janus chuckled and returned to his book. Virgil squeezed his hand and he squeezed back. It truly felt like home.

#namiswriting #One's Hometown One's New Home #Chapter Seven: Learning About Each Other #anxceitweek2023 #anxceit #ts janus #janus sanders #ts virgil #virgil sanders #original female background character #fluff #human!au #werewolf!virgil #last chapter #multichapter fic #sanders sides #fanfiction #reblogs are appreciated

[random-snippets]

Second Chance

Summary: Human AU Virgil has a conversation with his adoptive father after a getting into a fight at school. 

Characters/Pairings: Romantic Moceit, paternal Anxceit and Moxiety

Notes: This is an AU that popped fully-formed into my head and I have tons of background info about it if anyone’s curious. All the Moceit feels right now, amirite?

Warnings: Mentions of homophobia, references to homophobic slurs, mentions of violence (schoolyard fight), mentions of injuries (minor), mentions of blood, self-deprecating thoughts, abandonment issues. Let me know if I missed anything I need to warn for! 

*

A soft knock on Virgil’s door made him flinch, but he sighed, reaching up and pulling his headphones off his head. Time to face the music. “Come in,” he mumbled. 

The door creaked open, and his dad’s fiance poked his head in. “Virgil,” he said softly. “Can I come in?” 

“Already said you could.” Virgil shifted and reached up to brush his hair out of his face, wincing when his fingers bumped his bruised right eye. 

“So you did.” Janus stepped into the bedroom and closed the door softly behind himself. Virgil swallowed, anxiety ratcheting up a little, and Janus paused, giving him a look that Virgil knew all too well. The one that said ‘I just read you like an open book.’ “Do you want me to leave it open?” he asked.

Virgil shrugged. “Don’t care,” he said, but the thought of being locked in with Janus--with anyone--still frightened him. He just sort of hated that Janus knew that, and knew without having to ask. 

Janus raised his eyebrows, hand still lingering on the knob. “Second chance?” he offered. 

Virgil sighed and slumped. “Maybe a little bit open?” 

Janus nodded and opened the door about a foot. It was enough that Virgil could hear his dad (Patton? Should I be calling him Patton again? Or maybe--oh God please no--maybe Mr. Sanders?) in the kitchen, busy with dinner preparations. The sounds would have been comforting and familiar, if it hadn’t been for the notable absence of the usual string of singing, whistling, or talking to himself Patton usually engaged in. He swallowed again, wishing he could bury his face in his arms, but along with his eye, his lip was split and swollen, and while the nurse had claimed his nose to be unbroken, it still felt pretty awful. He’d stuffed two wads of toilet paper into his nostrils to stem the flow of blood, and he realized he hadn’t taken them out yet. He did so now, crumpling the blood-soaked tissue in his fist. 

“You here to yell at me?” he mumbled, as Janus moved to settle into Virgil’s desk chair across from the bed. 

“Do I look like I’m here to yell at you?” 

“I hate it when you do that.”

The corner of Janus’s mouth twitched up. “Do what?” 

“Answer a question with another question. I hate when you get all...shrink-y.” 

Janus’s smile grew fractionally. “All right, then. Let me ask a different question. Do you want me to yell at you?”

Virgil shrugged one shoulder. In truth, he kind of wished someone would. Yelling he was used to; yelling made sense. 

Instead, when Patton had picked him up from school after the principal had called him in, his dad had just asked him quietly if he was okay, and if he wanted to talk about it. When Virgil had nodded at the first question and shaken his head at the second, Patton had merely turned his attention to the road to finish the drive home in silence. But there’d been a flash of something in his eyes--something that Virgil was terrified had been disappointment--and when he’d fled to his room the moment they’d gotten home, Patton hadn’t tried to stop him. 

It was that, more than anything, that had him so terrified now. If he’d disappointed Patton...what would that mean? Would he change his mind about letting Virgil stay? Would he...un-adopt him? Surely you could do that, right? His mom had given him up and she’d actually given birth to him so surely if all you did was adopt someone, if all it was was paperwork, there were ways to undo it, right? And it wasn’t like it had been that long ago, either. Maybe there was like...a 90-day money back guarantee or something. Not completely satisfied with your screw-up of a kid? No problem! Bring him on back to Kids-R-Us, and we’ll be happy to find you a better one! Refunds and exchanges welcome anytime! 

Shit.

“Well, whether you want me to or not, no, I’m not here to yell at you,” Janus cut into his cycle of terrified thoughts, and when Virgil looked up, he found his...his brain always faltered here. What was Janus? His dad’s fiance? His stepdad? They’d said to just think of him as his dad too but was that right? He didn’t know Janus, not as well as Patton; he’d been busy working on his book and then away on the signing and lecture tour and sure they’d skyped a lot but Janus hadn’t had to deal with him, not like Patton had. Janus didn’t know him. Janus probably saw him as another screwed up kid he could write a case study about, not as a son. 

And now he was the kid who’d upset his fiance. 

“So if you don’t want to yell at me, what do you want, then?”  

“I want to know what happened.” 

Virgil lifted one shoulder in a half-shrug. “I got in a fight.” 

“Over what?” 

“Nothing.” 

“I very much doubt that.” Virgil looked up and saw Janus regarding him knowingly, in that way he did that drove Virgil crazy. If the X-men were real, this would be what it felt like to have Professor Xavier reading your mind. 

“It was just a stupid fight with some stupid kids from my stupid class,” Virgil said. “I don’t know what you want from me. I won’t do it again.” 

“Won’t you?” 

Virgil frowned. “What?” 

“Well,” Janus lifted one leg and crossed it over the other, folding his hands on his knees and tipping his head. The effect would’ve been sort of comical if things hadn’t felt so serious. “If the circumstances that caused this fight were to recur, or ones similar to it, wouldn’t your response be similar?” 

Virgil snorted, then winced when his bruised and battered nose protested the decision. “You sound like Logan.” 

Janus smiled. “There are worse people to sound like. Your uncle’s a smart guy.” 

“He’s not my uncle.”

“Isn’t he? He’s your dad’s brother.” 

“Patton’s not my dad.” Virgil meant to sound tough and confident. Instead it came out sort of choked and muffled. Maybe he’d made his nose clog up when he’d snorted a second ago.

“I have a piece of paper from the state department of health and human services that suggests otherwise.” Janus’s voice was light, but almost unbearably gentle, too, and Virgil scowled, hating that his eyes were beginning to sting. 

“So? It’s just a piece of paper. It doesn’t mean anything.” 

“I think Patton would be very sad to hear you say that,” Janus said softly, and when Virgil looked up, he saw an echo of that same sadness on his face.

“Why?” Virgil said thickly. He reached up and rubbed at the top of his lip gingerly, under his nose, which was beginning to trickle. “I just keep screwing up. Why would he want to keep me? Why would either of you?” 

Janus lifted the box of tissues from Virgil’s desk and handed them over wordlessly; Virgil took one and began to gingerly dab at his aching nose. Dammit. He hated crying, but it was so much worse after getting beaten up. 

“You didn’t screw up,” Janus said. “You got into a fight. Thirteen-year-old boys do that.” 

“Yeah, well, at least some of them win sometimes,” Virgil groused. “I just get my a--my butt kicked.” It figured: he couldn’t even get in trouble right. 

“Did you ever learn how?” 

“What?” Virgil looked up at his stepfather, too startled by the words to remember to be upset. “What do you mean?” 

Janus shrugged. “I mean, did anyone ever really teach you how to hold your own in a fight? Especially when you’re outnumbered against a group of opponents bigger than you are?” 

Virgil blinked. “I...I mean...no?” 

“Well, what did you do? When the fight started, I mean?” 

“I...” Virgil stared at him. “I dunno, I punched the guy?” 

“Which one?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“There was more than one boy, right?” 

“How did...how did you know that?” 

“Well, bullies tend to travel in packs. They’re cowardly like that. Did you go for the leader?” 

Virgil shrugged. “No, I...the one that was closest, I guess. He was smaller.” He’d still been huge next to Virgil, but at the time he’d seemed slightly less dangerous than the hulking monster of a seventh grader who’d seemed to be in charge.

Janus nodded. “Always go for the leader,” he said. “Like I said, bullies are cowards. If you take down the leader they usually scatter.” 

“I mean, I feel like he would’ve kicked my...my butt either way,” Virgil said. “The guy was fu--freaking huge.” 

“Heavy-set? Or tall?” 

“Both, I guess.”

“Heavyset isn’t always a bad thing,” Janus said. “Heavier boys are often slower than smaller ones. Tall is the problem. His reach is longer than yours.” Janus sat up and held his fists in a boxing stance, then extending his arm. It came just to Virgil’s chin. “Try to reach me with your arm.” Virgil did; his fist barely reached past Janus’s elbow. “See? I’ve got like two feet of reach on you; you’re never gonna get in a good hit if I’m on my guard. 

“So what do I do?” 

“Hit them with something unexpected. Your legs--that’s where you’ve got some reach. A bully coming in for a punch is going to put himself within kicking distance, and you can usually get in a good hit and incapacitate him pretty quick. Just gotta practice your front kick.”

“Wh--why...why are you teaching me to fight?” Virgil asked, abruptly aware of just how absurd this whole conversation felt. “Shouldn’t you tell me to run away and find a teacher?” 

“It’s foolish to assume that will always be an option,” Janus said, sitting back. “Maybe in a perfect world, but...” 

“I feel like in a perfect world bullies wouldn’t be trying to beat me up in the first place,” Virgil grumped.

Janus grinned, looking pleased, and it sent a thrilled, proud little shiver up Virgil’s spine. “Touche. So since we’ve established the world we’re in isn’t perfect, it’s important you know how to defend yourself, isn’t it?” 

���I mean...yeah, but...I dunno, I feel like grown ups are supposed to tell you to like...be the bigger person, turn the other cheek, some bullsh--some stupid...thing like that.” 

Janus glanced at the open doorway, then leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and regarding him seriously. “Virgil, let’s make a deal: as long as you promise not to do it in front of Patton, when you and I are talking, you can curse a few times.” 

Virgil perked up a bit. “How many times?” 

“Five times per conversation.” 

“Ten.” 

“Seven. Final offer.” 

“Deal.” Virgil giggled, as Janus extended his hand and shook his solemnly. “Okay,” he said. “So aren’t grownups supposed to tell you to be the better person or some...bullshit like that?” It felt very strange, saying that word in front of Janus--indulgent, like sneaking a cigarette out of an unwatched purse. 

“Maybe.” Janus shrugged. “To be honest, I’ve never been that great at being a responsible grownup. I leave that to your dad.” 

Virgil barely stopped himself from snorting again. “Dude. You’re literally a doctor.” 

“I have a PhD, yes.” 

“In child psychology.” 

“Exactly.” Janus arched one eyebrow conspiratorially. “I studied child behavior. Not grownup.” 

Virgil laughed in spite of himself. “Oh my God, you are suck a fucking dork.” Fucking was a little too intense, and it didn’t taste as good on his tongue as bullshit had; it was an overindulgence, like puking after trying to smoke that stolen cigarette. “Freaking dork,” he said softly, lowering his eyes and hoping Janus didn’t call him on his backpedaling. 

Janus merely shrugged. “No arguments there.” 

“How’d you learn how to fight, anyway?” Virgil decided to get the conversation back on track. “I mean, like...who taught you?” 

Janus regarded him for a second calmly. Then he said: “Well, I learned in the system. Some of the bigger boys in my foster house thought I should know how, considering, well.” He pointed at the side of his face and smirked. 

Virgil, however, had stopped smiling; the expression had fallen from his face the second the words had hit him. In the system. “You...you were in the foster system?” 

Janus nodded. “I was.” 

“Wh--when did--why didn’t you--?” 

“Why didn’t we tell you?” Janus finished, and Virgil nodded hard, hair flopping into his face. He brushed it away without thinking, then winced when his fingers again brushed the bruised flesh around his eye. 

“Did Patton give you an ice pack for that?” Janus asked, seeing his wince. 

“Yeah, but it melted.” 

“As ice does. Want to get another one? I think your eye is starting to swell a bit.”

“In a minute.” As soon as they went downstairs, Virgil was afraid this--whatever it was, this spell that had fallen between them--it would go away, and he had to know. He had to have answers. Because if Janus had been in the system... “Why were you in the system? How long? What happened to your parents?”

“Getting right to it, aren’t we?” 

“I...” Virgil cringed, realizing it was probably impolite to ask questions like that--or worse, that doing so may have opened old wounds. This was probably why they didn’t tell you, he chastised himself. They knew you’d be an asshole about it.

He flushed, ashamed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to--” 

“No, no,” Janus said softly. “It’s okay. You deserve to know, and I’m...happy to share.” 

Virgil looked up at the slight hitch in Janus’s voice. “Second chance?” he offered quietly.

Janus smiled. “Okay,” he admitted, “I’m willing to share, which amounts to the same thing, and if it helps you feel like you really belong here with Patton and me, then I’m happy for that. What do you want to know?” 

Virgil hesitated. “How many questions do I get?” 

“Hmm.” Janus considered. “Let’s say five for tonight. Otherwise we might miss dinner.” 

Virgil smiled sheepishly. “Okay. Um. How long?”

“Thirteen years.” 

“Whoa.” Virgil’s eyes widened. Janus had been in the system longer than he had? “How old were you?”

“When I got in or when I got out?” 

“I guess...both?” 

“You sure about that? If I give you one, you can do the math and figure out the other on your own, and save yourself a question.” 

“Shit! Okay yeah, just...how old were you when you got put in?” 

“Five.” 

“Five.” Virgil frowned, then said, “You...got out at 18?” 

“I did.” Janus’s face, like his voice, was calm and quiet, but Virgil understood something about it--something he realized had always been there, but hidden, like fish swimming below the ice of a frozen lake. 

His heart sank as the real reason for that deep, long-buried sadness finally dawned on him. “You were never adopted,” he whispered. 

“No,” Janus agreed. “I wasn’t.” 

“You never got a family?” 

“I didn’t say that.” 

Virgil frowned, before the meaning of Janus’s words sunk in, making him feel at once like he might laugh and cry. He swallowed, scooting back and resting against the headboard of his bed, wrapping his arms around his knees, as though he might be able to contain the strange emotion swelling inside him.

Janus watched him for a second, then said, “Mind if I join you up there? This chair wasn’t really made for adult butts.” 

Virgil smiled weakly at what he understood was Janus’s attempt to cheer him up, and nodded, watching as the man climbed up onto the bed and settled beside him. He didn’t try to hug Virgil, as Patton might have, but settled close enough that he would be easy to reach out and touch, if Virgil needed. Janus leaned his head back against the wall, and sighed. “Much better,” he declared. 

Virgil found himself studying him, as Janus sat quietly, apparently willing to wait for the next question as long as it took Virgil to ask it. His eyes trailed along the marks on the man’s face: spatters of dark red splotches across his cheekbone and jaw, and along one side of his nose. A port wine stain, Patton had told him it was called; just a harmless birthmark. Virgil had always been impressed by the way Janus had refused to cover it up with make-up. Impressed, and kind of glad; he always thought it looked kinda cool, like dragon scales or something.

Still, he doubted it made things any easier for him as a kid in the system. They didn’t usually give you bonus points for things that made you stand out.

“Is that why you didn’t get adopted?” he asked quietly, then winced, wondering if this time he had stepped over a line. 

Janus glanced at him, not having to ask what Virgil was referring to. “Maybe,” he said. “Maybe not. It doesn’t really matter now, does it?” 

“I guess not.” Virgil hesitated, then scooted a fraction of an inch closer, angling himself toward Janus ever so slightly. Janus wordlessly lifted an arm, and Virgil scooted underneath it immediately, some of the turmoil in his chest calming down as the arm settled around his shoulders. “What happened? To your birth family?” 

“My parents died in an accident.”

“Oh.” 

“I didn’t have any extended family to speak of, other than a grandfather who lived in an assisted care facility and couldn’t take care of me. So into the system I went.” 

Virgil nibbled at the uninjured side of his lip, leaning his head against Janus’s shoulder lightly. “Were you scared?” 

“Sure. Scared, mad, sad, all of it.” 

“What happened after you turned eighteen?” 

Janus glanced down at him and smiled slightly. “I went to college,” he said. “And I started studying. A lot.” 

“Is that how come you wanted to be a child psychologist?” 

“Pretty much, yeah. I knew there were lots of kids like me who were scared. I figured I could help them figure out how to survive. Teach them how to fight.” 

Virgil tipped his head back and looked at him dubiously. “They let shrinks do that?”

“There are lots of different kinds of fights, Virgil,” Janus said. “Not all of them involve fists and feet.” 

“Huh.” Virgil frowned, leaning his head against Janus’s shoulder again. “They called you guys the f-word,” he said after a moment of silence. 

“Hmm?” 

“The kids at school.” Virgil scowled, then stopped when the expression pulled at his swollen lip. “That’s why I got into the fight. They called you guys the f-word.” 

“I see.” Janus sounded...Virgil wasn’t sure. Upset? Maybe...but mad? He didn’t think so. At least, not at Virgil. “You know what that says about them, don’t you?”

“That they’re fucking assholes?” Virgil spat, scowling again in spite of the stinging in his lip. This time, he found, the word ‘fucking’ didn’t taste so bitter. 

“No. Well, yes, quite possibly, but usually? It means they’re being raised by assholes. Lots of kids that age just parrot what they grew up hearing.” 

“That’s bullshit,” Virgil said, drawing back and glaring at him. “I had plenty of asshole foster parents and I don’t go around saying shit like that.”

“Well, that’s because you’re smarter than most kids your age. You had to be.” The smile on his face was proud, and Virgil flushed, squirming a little under the intensity of the expression. Patton looked at him like that a lot, but he never really felt like he’d earned it. Tonight, though...he kind of felt like maybe he did. He kind of felt like Janus didn’t give out smiles like that to just anyone, or for just anything. 

It felt good. 

He slumped back against him, too overwhelmed by that expression to keep looking at it, and Janus let his arm loop back over his shoulders easily. They lapsed into silence for a little while, listening to the clanging of pots and pans coming from the kitchen. Virgil could smell something good, something that smelled hearty and made his mouth water a little, and knew that soon, maybe in just a few minutes, Patton would holler up the stairs at them to come and get it. 

Soon. But they had a few seconds left, he was pretty sure, and so he said, “Janus?” 

“Yeah?” 

He hesitated, not exactly sure what he wanted to ask. Finally, he said, “Do you ever...worry? That it’ll...I dunno. That it’ll all go away again?” 

Janus didn’t have to ask him what he meant. “Sometimes.” 

“Really?” Virgil was surprised. He’d expected Janus to be reassuring--to lie, maybe, but to pretend like nothing ever got to him now. 

“Sure. That surprises you?” 

“I mean...yeah, kinda?” Virgil shrugged. “I guess I thought you’d tell me it gets better. That you stop being so scared all the time.” 

“It does,” Janus said. “Just because I still get scared sometimes doesn’t mean it’s not better than it used to be.” 

“Oh.” 

“You know what used to scare me the most?” Janus said after a second, and Virgil looked at him curiously. Janus smiled. “Patton.” 

“Patton scared you?” Virgil couldn’t even begin to believe it. “How the hell could Patton scare you?” 

“Patton himself didn’t,” Janus said. “But you know him. When I first met him, I thought, ‘here’s this amazing guy who’s had this perfect life, with this perfect family that loves him, he’s probably a total asshole or a complete rich snob.’ I kind of wanted to hate him, because he had everything I’d ever wanted, right? Like what did he do to deserve it?” He chuckled and shook his head. “Then I spent more than five minutes with him and realized no, he’s actually a total sweetheart, and he cares about everyone so much, and when we started dating I kept thinking, ‘how can someone this good see anything of value in someone like me?” 

Virgil’s breath caught in his throat, hearing his own deepest fears echoed in Janus’s voice.

“I just kept thinking, ‘eventually he’s going to realize how much better he could be doing. He’s gonna find someone who doesn’t have a temper, who doesn’t have rejection and abandonment issues, who’s as nice as he is and who isn’t this complete and total nobody.’“ 

“Exactly,” Virgil breathed, staring at Janus with wide eyes. 

“Of course,” Janus continued, “eventually I realized a few things.” 

“What things?” 

“Well, first of all, I realized that while Patton is an extremely kind and wonderful man, he’s not perfect, and it was actually really unfair of me to put him up on a pedestal like that. He makes mistakes, he has a temper too--you’ve seen him on game night when he’s losing at Monopoly” --here Virgil broke into soft giggles and nodded, “--and he worries. A lot. He also tends to give the people who hurt him more chances than they deserve.” 

Virgil’s smile faded. “But...what if I’m one of those people?” he whispered. “If I keep hurting him, or disappointing him...” 

“No, Virgil.” Janus’s voice was firm. “You could never disappoint him. He worries about you, but that’s just because that’s what he does. But he’s never going to be disappointed.” He paused, and glanced at Virgil sidelong. “However,” he said lightly, “he would probably tell you that you don’t need to go picking fights at school to defend our honor.” 

Virgil grimaced. “Yeah, I know,” he said. Then: “What would you tell me?” 

“I’d tell you that there are lots of reasons to fight in this world, and lots of things worth fighting for, but I never want to see you hurt over something as petty as someone calling your dad and me a stupid name.” 

Virgil sighed, and leaned against Janus’s shoulder again. “Yeah, I know,” he said again. “I just got so mad. Like who are these assholes to judge you guys? You’re...” he faltered, feeling a little choked and more than a little embarrassed, but forced himself to finish: “You’re both so amazing, and you gave me an actual real family, and...and who cares if you’re gay, why should that even matter? You’re...” 

“Hey.” Janus reached out and gently brushed the few tears that had escaped away from Virgil’s cheeks, being careful of his bruises. “Thank you, kiddo. I mean that. But you know what? Next time that happens, you ignore them, or defend yourself if they physically attack you first--I’ll help teach you how--and then you come home and you and me, we can talk it out. Vent, whatever. That way you can deal with it, but you don’t have to take a beating. Right?” 

Virgil sighed, and nodded again, finally letting go of the last of his worry and anger. “Yeah, okay,” he said. “I guess so.” 

“Good. Now. Are you hungry? It smells like Patton’s just about done down there, and I want to get more ice on that eye of yours anyway.” 

“Yeah.” Virgil realized with some surprise that he was hungry--his stomach had untied itself from the knots it’d been in since he’d gotten home, and the scents wafting from the kitchen had only gotten better in the last few minutes. 

“Great. C’mon.” 

Janus rose from the bed and held out a hand; Virgil took it and let him help him to his feet. “Is it just your face?” Janus asked. “No other injuries anywhere else?” 

“No. I mean yeah, just my face.” Virgil shrugged sheepishly. “The guy just hit me once. The rest is from when he knocked me down.” 

“Gotcha. That’s good, then. Let’s go.” 

“Wait...Janus?” 

Janus paused in the doorway of Virgil’s room and glanced back at him. Virgil shifted nervously, then smiled a little hesitantly. “Thanks.” 

Janus’s face broke into the first broad grin of the evening. “What I’m here for, bud,” he said. “C’mon, let’s go eat.” 

Virgil nodded, following his...his father...out of the bedroom, and down the stairs to the kitchen. Patton looked up when they arrived, having just set a pan of what looked and smelled like lasagna--Virgil’s favorite--onto the table. 

“Perfect timing!” he said cheerfully, moving to kiss Janus hello, then looking over at Virgil. “Hope you’re hungry. You okay?” 

“Yeah,” Virgil said, hugging himself, still feeling a little uncertain. That flash of something on Patton’s face in the car still had him worried, and in spite of Janus’s words, he found himself wondering if his dad was disappointed. 

Patton tilted his head, apparently hearing the uncertainty in Virgil’s voice. He moved forward and laid a gentle hand on Virgil’s shoulder, while Janus busied himself making a new ice pack. 

“Second chance,” he murmured. “You okay, kiddo?” 

Virgil looked up at Patton, studying his face, and in it, he saw lots of things--worry, concern, a little bit of anxiety, sure--but no anger. And beneath it all, so obvious it almost hurt to look at: a deep, abiding love. 

Virgil relaxed at last, and gave Patton a genuine smile. “Yeah,” he said again, stronger this time, and when Patton beamed and opened his arms, Virgil stepped into the embrace gladly. “Yeah, I’m okay, Dad.” 

“Good,” Patton whispered, and Virgil felt a kiss dropped into his hair before Patton drew away and said, “All right, let’s get to it, then. This lasagna isn’t going to eat itself!” 

Virgil settled at the table, watching as his dad and J--and his father--updated each other on their day, laughing and joking lightly with one another. He held the ice pack Janus had given him to his cheek with one hand, and with the other, ate the lasagna Patton had made for him. 

And even though it pulled slightly painfully at his split lip, he couldn’t help but grin. 

* 

Thanks for reading! 

A little background info (and to clarify something, just in case it wasn’t clear enough in the text): the “Second chance” bit is a rule they have in their household. Janus is a child psychologist, and he specializes in lying as a defense mechanism created by abuse victims to placate their abusers. He theorizes that your first response to any question that causes a heightened emotional response is usually a lie, because your instinct to protect yourself kicks in and forces you to say what you think the asker wants to hear. In their household, they have a policy that if someone thinks the answer they got might not have been truthful, you can say “second chance” and answer again, with no repercussions about having lied.

They use this to ask each other “are you sure,” as well as to admit to having lied themselves (So sometimes one of them will answer or say something, then say “second chance” and amend their own statement. Like “Hey Dad, do you want to play this video game with me?” “Sure kiddo! Well...second chance, how scary is it? I don’t want to have nightmares.” ). 

#moceit #paternal moxiety #paternal anxceit #random snippets fics

[majoringinclownery]

giving me your weekends

summary: "While Virgil now incorporates more color in his wardrobe and is careful to soften his teasing toward the others- Roman in particular- once the cameras stop rolling he gravitates toward Remus and Janus. Tonight, after a long day of filming, he’s grateful to see a familiar figure lounging on his bed."

OR

@princeanxious said he wanted more anxciet content and you bet i will deliver. this is literally just a cute fluffy ficlet of Virgil and Janus being cute boyfriends.

pairing: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders (romantic anxceit)

word count: 1k

Read it on AO3

While the other self-dubbed “Light Sides” may not be aware of the fact, Virgil didn’t just suddenly cut off Remus or Janus after joining them. It’s hard to say if they’re aware of it, but to him, it’s all part of the act to an extent. That’s not to say Virgil hasn’t grown since he first began starring in Thomas’s videos as some sort of antagonist- he has changed, and he has further decided to continue making an effort to better himself in the future. For the sake of himself, the others, and most importantly, Thomas.

But no, even though he may spend more time with Patton, Logan, and Roman than previously, he hasn’t abandoned the friends he’s held for the entirety of Thomas’s life. There’s too much history, too many inside jokes to simply walk away from. Not to mention that the other two “Dark Sides” provide a certain degree of comfort that the other three cannot at this time. The friendships between them are too new and uncertain.

So while Virgil now incorporates more color in his wardrobe and is careful to soften his teasing toward the others- Roman in particular- once the cameras stop rolling he gravitates toward Remus and Janus. Tonight, after a long day of filming, he’s grateful to see a familiar figure lounging on his bed.

“Virgil, darling,” Janus’s voice is velvet soft as he reclines propped up on his arms. Virgil’s shoulders slump, a pleased smile warming his expression as he crosses the room. His boyfriend is already dressed in his pajamas- a stylish black silk set with gold trim, as extravagant as the rest of his taste. His hair is fluffy and falls across his forehead without any hair gel to style it back.

Reaching the bed, Virgil straddles Janus’s legs, leaning forward to share a tender kiss. “Hey,” Virgil murmurs against his lips, voice low and scratchy after spending the afternoon talking nonstop. “I missed you.”

Janus hums, a hand reaching up to cup Virgil’s cheek. “I cannot say the same,” he drawls, a teasing smile on his lips. Virgil laughs, resting his forehead against Janus’s. They share a quiet moment, simply basking in each other’s presence.

Sighing, Virgil breaks away first. “I need to change and take off my makeup, but I won’t be long.” With another quick peck, he rises and moves toward his closet, shrugging off his hoodie.

“I washed your pajamas with my load today, they’re on the dresser.” Janus says, shifting to get more comfortable amongst Virgil’s blankets and pillows. Virgil glances in the indicated direction before flashing Janus a smile of thanks. As he begins changing, Janus speaks up again. “I don’t know how you manage it, darling.”

Virgil raises an eyebrow, meeting his boyfriend’s eye across the room. “What are you talking about?”

“Spending hours on end with those three. An insufferably stuffy bunch.”

Snorting, Virgil shakes his head, “They aren’t that bad, love. Sure, Roman can be a bit…” he trails off, wiping his makeup off and thinking of how best to describe the dramatic side. “Eccentric, but he’s not all that different from Remus. Well, he is, but once you spend some time with him and understand him better, it’s actually kind of fun.”

Janus sniffs, looking unconvinced. “Right. And I totally didn’t notice how tired you looked when you entered the room. Not at all.”

Finished changing, Virgil drops his laundry in the basket before returning to Janus’s side. “It’s cute that you’re worried about me.” His boyfriend scowls up at him and Virgil laughs, reaching out and running a hand through Janus’s hair. The scowl eases. “But filming videos just tires me out, none of them are to blame. Sure, Roman can be a bit nitpicky about it, but that’s kind of his job as creativity. Besides, it’s all in good fun and he’s trying to be nicer since I returned.”

His lips are pressed together as he searches Virgil’s expression, but Janus sighs and concedes with a nod. “Alright, alright. I suppose I am simply a victim of the mortal plight of worry for my dearest love, whom I cherish with all my-”

Huffing in amusement, Virgil leans down, ending Janus’s dramatics with another kiss. “Yes, yes. Thank you, I appreciate how much you care and look out for me, and I promise I will tell you if anything bothers me in the future.”

“Good.” Virgil yelps as Janus suddenly pulls him down, causing him to lose balance and fall to the bed. He frowns at the smug expression on Janus’s face, but takes the hint, further settling in bed with his partner. The pair crawl under the blankets and cuddle up together, Virgil breathing in the scent of Janus’s shampoo with a satisfied sigh. To his surprise, Janus seems to have a plan, adjusting them to sit back against the pillows and headboard. He snaps his fingers, and the lights dim and a projector flickers to life on the opposite wall.

Virgil glances at Janus, curious, “What’s all this?”

“Date night. I did miss you, I wasn’t lying about that.”

He can feel the way his entire being softens, and Virgil is certain his heart has never been so clearly on his sleeve. Or, rather, his face. It should be embarrassing, but he could never be embarrassed of Janus or their relationship. “Oh.”

“Yes. Oh.” Another snap of his fingers as the movie starts playing, and Janus is handing him a milkshake with one yellow and one purple straw sticking out the top, a basket of fries nestled in the space between their legs. “We’re watching Pride and Prejudice, and you will never mention such a thing to the others. Especially Roman.”

“Or Remus. He’ll be a little put out if he finds out we watched it without him, date night or not.”

Janus nods in agreement, taking a careful sip of the milkshake while his eyes remain trained on the screen as the movie begins. Virgil, however, only has eyes for the man beside him.

Leaning over, Virgil kisses Janus’s cheek. “I love you, Dee.”

Janus glances over, eyes warm. “Love you too, Virge.”

#anxciet #romantic anxciet #virgil sanders #janus sanders #sanders sides fanfic #sanders sides #fanfic #mywriting #hey i haven't been active in this fandom since like 2019 #or something #but fuck this man wants content #and i had to deliver #please enjoy

[i-am-bella-donna]

Beautiful Trash Fire Chapter 1: Family

TS Winter Fic Exchange 2021–2022

AO3 | Next Chapter

Story Summary:

Remus and Janus were ecstatic. After hours of preparation, their masterpiece was finally complete! It was a culmination of time and patience; a creation that was truly magnificent.

“You guys said you had a good idea! This is the exact opposite of a good idea!”

Apparently, Virgil disagreed.

Pairings: Platonic Anxceit, Platonic Dukexiety, Platonic Dukeceit

Word Count: 2,527

CONTENT WARNINGS: ARGUING, FIRE

A/N: This was written for the TS Winter Fic Exchange 2021–2022 for @houser-of-stories​. The prompts used were blankets, fireplace, night, and party.

~~~

Remus beamed at the fireplace. Beside him, Janus smirked.

It was truly a sight to behold—much better than the boring fire in the Light Mindscape. Gathering supplies had taken the better part of their day, not at all helped by how cheery the stupid Light Sides were. With the amount of time they were spending in their common area, it had been almost impossible for Remus to steal from them.

Well—to discreetly steal from them, in any case. Remus, of course, was perfectly content to kick down the door, waltz in, and give the others a smack on the head when they inevitably tried to stop him. It would not even be a hard smack—he would not knock them out, or anything of the sort. He would be gentle! For the sake of the holidays!

However, for some dumbass reason, Janus had instructed him to be secretive. In other words, no smacking.

Which really sucked, since the Light Sides were being so fucking annoying by spending all of their time in the common room, like they owned the place! Which…they technically did, but still. Those jerks.

Now, though—as he gazed upon the beautiful, hungry flames, Remus felt his chest swell with pride. For once, he had put in things like time and patience, and it had paid off quite remarkably. The only thing left was the grand finale: showing the masterpiece to Virgil.

“So, Jay-nus,” Remus piped up cheerfully. He set a hand on his friend’s shoulder and shot him a wide smile, forcing his lips not to tremble from the biting cold. Unfortunately, the all-consuming chill was an unexpected consequence of completing their project—without the distraction, the reason they had built the fire in the first place was now living rent-free in his mind. He tried to force it down, regardless. “You gonna get Vee, or should I do it?”

The real question: which of them was willing to leave the beloved warmth of the fire for the cold halls of the Dark Mindscape in nothing but their regular clothes in order to retrieve Virgil?

Janus huffed out a misted breath and rolled his eyes fondly. “Well, sweetie, as much as I love you and your ideas, I doubt anyone would appreciate it if you barged in and dragged Virgil back here by the ankles—least of all Virgil himself, given all the effort he put into keeping these meetings a secret.”

“So…you want me to do it?”

At this, Janus actually barked out a laugh, making Remus grin wider. Both of them pretended not to notice as Janus leaned into the warmth of Remus’s hand before playfully shoving it off. “Of course not, you imbecile. I can take care of it.”

Before Janus could move away from the precious fire, however, a third voice spoke up from the doorway. “No need, idiots. You last track of time. Again.”

Remus spun around, face lighting up and thoughts of the damn cold disappearing as his eyes locked on the familiar emo across the room. “Virgin!” he squealed, racing forward and laughing at the sight of Virgil’s eyes widening in realization of what was about to come.

“Wait, don’t—” Virgil blurted out, taking a step back and throwing his hands out in front of him. His signature I-regret-every-decision-leading-up-to-this-moment look was plastered on his face, but it did absolutely nothing to deter Remus from tackling him to the ground.

“I missed you, Anxie!” he exclaimed. Every cell in him rejoiced at the unexpected amount of warmth radiating from his friend, and he was unable to stop his tentacles from appearing and wrapping tightly around the other. “It’s been so long!”

“It’s been three days—Janus, a little help here?!”

Remus could hear the smirk in Janus’s voice as he snickered. “I think you can handle this, darling Virgil. Besides, you brought it upon yourself.”

“By bringing it upon myself, are you talking about how I decided not to wait for you two to drag your heads out of your asses?” Virgil choked out, coughing. Remus did not bother to move. Given that Virgil had just come from the toasty Light Mindscape—it was the one good thing about that place—he was nice and warm. A perfect human space heater. “Or are you talking about my existence itself?”

“Yes.”

Remus snorted at Virgil’s sputtered-out rage before reluctantly deciding to take mercy on him. He internally mourned the loss of heat as he rolled over, accepting the hand that Janus offered and pulling himself to his feet, tentacles shrinking back into his skin. Virgil simply let out a loud breath, not bothering to move.

“What did keep you guys so long, anyway?” he asked, staring up at the ceiling. As he spoke, his breath formed miniature clouds, which he frowned at the sight of. “And why is it so cold in here?” His hands rubbed at his arms.

Remus and Janus exchanged a barely-suppressed smile, the excitement between them buzzing almost enough to eliminate the chill on its own.

Are you ready? Janus’s expression asked.

Of course! He’ll love it!

“Well, darling Virgil,” Janus began with more than a touch of dramatic flair. Remus grinned and stepped back, allowing the other to take control of the reveal. He could not help but remember the time between—the time when he and Janus considered their once-best friend to be an enemy; the space after Virgil moving to the Light Mindscape but before their subsequent making up around Halloween a year later, just after the puppet incident. The year that Remus and Janus had spent in grief, trying to move on, but still hollow inside.

They adjusted to the new normal more quickly than either would have liked, but Janus…changed. He became quieter; more serious and subdued; and Remus was sure that if he asked, Janus would point out changes in his behavior, too. After all, grief did funny things to people.

Reconciling with Virgil had not been an instant fix—it was like putting a bandage on a stab wound that had already scarred over. None of them were the same person they had used to be—all three had changed, both for the better and for the worst—and rebuilding their relationship had been a work-in-progress, taking a mountain of time, patience, and secrets from the Light Sides over the past month and a half.

Nevertheless, remnants of their old selves would occasionally shine through—memories of when Janus was more sassy than sarcastic; when Remus was more carefree than careless; when Virgil was more cautious than worried.

Watching a little bit of the Old Janus return warmed Remus’s heart. Or it would have, had the Dark Mindscape not been the same temperature as a polar bear’s butt.

“Remus and I,” Janus continued, dragging Remus back to the present, “have been hard at work preparing a glorious surprise.” And with that, he stepped aside and gestured behind him, revealing the beautiful fire.

Virgil paused and slowly got to his feet, clearly taken aback. He stared.

And stared.

Finally—

“What the fuck?!”

Huh?

“Something wrong?” Remus asked, trying to mask the hurt he felt at the unexpectedly hostile exclamation. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Janus trembling—though whether it was caused by anger or the cold, Remus could not tell. Probably both.

“Or have the Light Sides risen your standards to near-damn impossible?” Janus grumbled, crossing his arms and curling in on himself. Remus winced. Oh, that was—

Virgil glowered at Janus and pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly hit hard by the comment but struggling to remain patient. “This has nothing to do with them, Janus,” he said defensively. “I grew up here, too, remember? My standards are practically floor-level. And somehow”—he threw a hand toward the fire, a look of sheer exasperation on his face—“you two took a pickaxe and started digging!”

Remus rubbed his hands together, cupping them in front of his mouth and blowing into them to warm them up. “C’mon, emo. It’s not that bad—”

“Seriously?” Virgil snapped, leveling him with a hard stare. Realizing that he had raised his voice, he closed his eyes and exhaled slowly before continuing. “Ree, Jay—amazing Sides, friends, and family—you two. Set. A literal. Trash fire.”

The trash fire in question was indeed a trash fire. As in—trash. On fire.

Remus and Janus had gathered garbage from all over the Dark Mindscape—rubbish from trash cans, food scraps, old boxes and bottles; anything unnecessary, really—and dumped it into the fireplace. Remus had then prepared a mixture of salt and borax—yes, it had all been stolen from the Light Mindscape—and added fuel to the fire.

Borax made fire green.

Salt made it yellow.

Overall, it was beautiful—

“You guys said you had a good idea! This is the exact opposite of a good idea!”

—or not.

Janus hissed and rubbed at his arms, definitely shivering now. He was wearing a bitter expression. “And what exactly do you propose we did instead?” he snapped. “We did the best with what we had—”

“Whoa—Snake Face, calm down,” Virgil cut him off, appearing surprised by the sudden aggression. He blinked, staring between Remus and Janus as though he was seeing the two of them for the first time. “I’m not criticizing you—”

Remus snorted. “I mean, you kind of are.”

“Fine. I don’t mean to criticize you, then, and I’m sorry that I am. But I get it. I lived with you guys for, like, two decades. I know how hard it is to live like this. I understand how important the little victories feel. Normally, it would be fine—but listen, this is serious! The temperature is almost freezing. Janus, you can’t handle low temperatures at all, and Remus, don’t act like you’re much better. And trash fires are super dangerous, not to mention whatever the fuck this green-and-yellow thing is—I get that you were desperate, but there is a giant difference between being independent and being stupid, so both of you idiots better put your damn pride aside and let me help you!”

Janus wordlessly looked at his feet. Remus rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably, glancing between his two friends as though waiting for one of them to explode.

“Great,” Virgil said when there was no objection. He tipped his head toward the door. “Then come with me.”

Janus glanced helplessly at Remus, who only shrugged and grinned, grabbing his—ice cold—hand and yanking him after Virgil. As much as Remus hated the verbal defamation of his beautiful masterpiece—which he fully intended to avenge—the emo had made some good points. Namely when he mentioned Janus becoming a snakesicle. As much as he loved body horror, Remus would rather have his friend full of squishy guts than ice.

But Remus was bringing the borax and salt, and if Virgil thought he could stop him, he was going to be a dead man.

Walking into the Light Mindscape was…an experience, to say the least. Remus was used to barging in uninvited, but he never stayed for long, and it was never this much warmer by comparison. And walking in through the actual door? Like it was something ordinary and not forbidden? A quick glance at Janus’s expression told Remus that his friend was equally unnerved by the situation.

Virgil paused as they passed the kitchen. “…Wait, are we forgetting something?”

Silence.

“Probably not.” He shrugged and continued walking.

The three of them were silent as Virgil guided them up the stairs, Janus and Remus visibly drinking in the sheer warmth of the place. Nice and toasty—like the inside of a polar bear’s butthole! The warmth persisted as they were led down a hallway that, unlike the Light Mindscape common areas, the two had rarely seen. Virgil stopped at a room that appeared to be…

…a den.

The game room-type of den, too—not the cool caverns where creepy and dangerous animals dwelled. The walls were a plain cream; the carpet soft but still scratchy. Just a boring room with board games—bored games—and books and a television and a fireplace—

Remus stopped short, causing Janus to crash into him. He paid it no heed.

A fireplace?!

Squealing, Remus grabbed Janus’s arm—ignoring his squeak of protest—and gestured flailing to the budding orange flames. “Jay, Jay, Jay—” he gasped in excitement, bouncing on the balls of his feet. An idea began to take form in his mind. “There’s more fire!”

Janus’s face lit up as he realized what Remus was trying to suggest.

“Wait—what are those smirks for?” Virgil demanded, crossing his arms and stepping between them and the fire. “What are you two planning?”

Janus paid Virgil no heed and turned back to Remus instead. “Should I summon it?” he asked, a hand already raised.

“No need!” Remus cackled. He held up the jar of white powder. “Already got it, Snakey!”

“What the hell are you doing to the fireplace?!”

Remus shot Virgil an innocent grin. “Relax, Vee! You lived with us for over twenty and you still don’t trust us?”

“I’m pretty sure I don’t trust you because I lived with you for over twenty years.”

Janus scoffed, any traces of his previous anger toward Virgil now forgotten. He folded his arms, not-so-subtly inching toward the small fire and basking in the warmth. “Rude.”

“Cry me a river,” Virgil deadpanned. He gestured to the jar that Remus was holding, eyeing the white powder suspiciously. “Seriously, what is that shit?”

Remus grinned and held up the jar. “It’s the stuff that makes fire turn pretty colors! Like the one back home!”

“You mean, like your dangerous trash fire back home?”

“Yeah!”

Janus rubbed his hands together, still leaning towards the heat. Remus wrapped an arm around his waist and joined him, hoping whatever body heat he had left could help warm Janus. He himself was still cold, but Janus had always been more sensitive to extreme temperatures. That was a big yikes.

“So,” Remus continued. “What do you say? Can we add some of this to the fire? Pretty please with butts on top?”

“Since when do you ask for permission to break the rules?”

“Yay or nay?”

Virgil’s sigh was akin to the bellow of a foghorn. “…Fine.”

Janus let out a whoop of joy as Remus cackled, unscrewing the lid and dumping half of the jar onto the flames. The fire flared for a split second, burning bright shades of green and yellow before settling into a nice and steady glow. Virgil stumbled backward, eyes wide and startled but grinning.

“…Wow.”

Before any of them could say anything else, though, Remus heard a loud gasp from the doorway.

“What are they doing here?!”

The three of them spun around and froze, their eyes meeting those of the three Light Sides. Patton stood completely still, wearing his cat hoodie normally and clutching it like a Victorian lady clutching her pearls. Logan looked confused, eyes darting between Remus, Janus, Virgil, and the fire, whose green-and-yellow light reflected on his glasses. Roman, meanwhile, had the expression of a man who had just been told that Disney was canceled. Remus laughed at their shell-shocked impressions.

“So that’s what we forgot, Virgin!”

~~~

A/N: The second chapter will be posted before the end of the exchange.

Taglist: @ts-winter-fic-exchange @houser-of-stories

#nightshade writes #beautiful trash fire #fanwork event #ts winter fic exchange #sanders sides #patton sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #anxceit #platonic anxceit #dukexiety #platonic dukexiety #dukeceit #platonic dukeceit #pre putting others first #fluff #humor #light angst #cold weather #family #dark sides as family #light sides as family #friendship #late night conversations #arguing #fire