#for now i think i'll do boring tags like sung n if i change my mind i'll come back later

[fmdkiana]

【✧】━━━━━ 🌿 k i a n a     i n t r o     p l a y l i s t 🌿 ━━━━━【✧】

these are nineteen songs that i’ve been listening to while making kiana’s blog [x] some i came across, some randomly thought of, and some suggested by lovely muns i’ve been chatting about kiana to. since she’s a character that i’ve adapted for the purpose of famed, these songs have helped ground me in the person she is. i hope the songs and descriptions below will help you learn kiana a little better too

1. to be torn by kyla la grange

this first song was a suggestion from someone, and i think set the tune for the rest of my choices. apparently it’s from beauty and the beast? lol anyway it describes this desire to be torn, a carnal need to be used. the heavy sound of it is kind of haunting, a bit sad, but also strong. the emotion can be felt even without the lyrics. kiana has this part of her that deeply craves being important, whether it comes at her own expense -her own tearing- or not. also forewarning that a lot of these overlap on the same concepts. shrug emoji

2. intertwined by dodie

intertwined is a song that immediately came to mind for kiana after to be torn. when this song came out, many people saw it as a cute love story, wanting to be intertwined with a lover, and have them be the safe space when you have a troubled head. however, dodie made a video debunking this, against her natural inclination, because the song describes something severely unhealthy. the following music video also helped many people to see the gore that’s strung throughout the lyrics. it Actually describes a relationship where the participants have put all of their source of happiness in one another, and it’s left them codependent, but ever seeking more. kiana has this perpetual trouble in relationships, especially romantic ones

3. bite by troye sivan

i can be the subjective of your dreams, your sickening desire is a pretty good sum up of where the inspo comes from. it’s difficult, when talking about the negative parts of kiana, to not talk about her ex-boyfriend. i have lots planned to talk on so i won’t go on forever here, but it reminds me of how all it took was the tiniest invitation for kiana to “become his.” that’s how she works. come here puppy, don’t bite, and she’ll heel at your side forever. at least, back then. she’s someone who seems difficult, because she’s very asocial, but with the right formula, it could be so easy to slip her into your arms

4. hell in heaven by twice wish

this song is a bit similar to intertwined, i would say? someone who feels stuck, drowning in a “hell” that is only saved by a piece of “heaven/paradise.” yet they’re in between the place of hell and heaven, constantly confused of where they land, because they’ve placed their hope for salvation in this one, singular place/person. they want to be freer than they are, yet their salvation keeps them locked away. open the door to heaven, let me walk on the cloud. the day i’m trapped in you, save me, hold me tight

5. dinner & diatribes by hozier

a few different levels come from this song. while it was created with the idea of how tedious social gatherings are, the story that comes from it makes another world. kiana is asocial, and struggles with fear over social situations, which make something like dinner parties quite stressful for her. she’s also someone who isn’t fond of small talk, and more likely that type to say ‘talk to me about your deepest fears,’ but... she actually means it and isn’t saying it to be pretentious. she would much rather see the sickest, nastiest parts of someone, soak all of that up, than talk about whether the food was good. the music video describes this in part, but also gives a hades/persephone but worse type of story that is also quite kiana aligned. that’s the kind of love i’ve been dreaming of

6. creep by radiohead

i want you to notice when i’m not around. so fuckin special, i wish i was special, but i’m a creep. not to ‘have you ever seen me without this hat’ on you, but lissen! kiana is forever convinced she’s an outsider. the things she likes are more Cool these days than they were when she was a kid, but the feeling of being ostracized for liking them back then will always live with her. she’s an insecure overthinking fuck at times too. and also desperately wants to be someone special, and unique, as if having that would make her pain of feeling different worth it

7. seigfried by frank ocean

the meaning of this song is pretty different from how i view it in relation to kiana. for her, the focus is on the idea of ‘settling down’ being... acceptance of normality? her whole life, she’s been searching for someone and/or something that makes her feel special. she became an idol for this exact reason, dated her ex for that reason, seeks the relationships she does, thinks she could still have superpowers for this reason. but the truth is that she’s pretty normal. her hobbies are very normal people type things. her talents aren’t anything that would have her being called top of the line. her thoughts are all things other people have thought of. her booksmart intelligence isn’t any stronger than the average. she is very normal, and the tiny part of her that acknowledges that usually shoves it away. but on occasion, she wonders if she should accept it, and settle

8. gimme love by joji

gimme gimme love is all you really need to know lol kiana doesn’t stick around easily when she’s not being given the same kind of world-ending affection from those she’s chosen to share that with that she gives out. she gives at Least 110% of her love, affection, and loyalty into anyone that she has chosen to keep closest to her heart, and if she isn’t getting that back, she can feel dejected, unloved, and unimportant. she may give people like this a few chances to change, but her expectations, or “standards,” won’t change

9. pain by king princess

cos i can’t help turning my love into pain is the strongest lyric that ties back to kiana. the overall message isn’t as strong because king princess has a different view on a relationship as described than kiana. for her, it’s yet another kiana will put herself in the face of terrible parts of relationships. the trouble is that she enjoys it, and seeks it, thinking it’s the ultimate show of love. not to pain one another, but to be pained without them. also realizing after all these i should be saying this applies to her inner circle friendships as well, but the standards are just a little less heavy

10. any song by zico sun

not one for big gatherings, kiana likes to have her social interaction either through the wire, or in small groups (duos are best to her tbh) the song has an upbeat tune that contrasts against the lyrical meaning of something more about... any song will do, something to drag away the sadness that’s living inside. kiana functions a bit like that, always seeking her uniqueness to bust out and save her from her own mind thinking she’s not good enough

11. why won’t they talk to me? by tame impala

she is asocial, but that doesn’t mean being a hermit,, an otaku,, whatever you want to call her, is a life full of happiness. she functions very well on her own, but when she has that for too long, it can be damaging to her head as well, especially when she has inner circle friends or a romantic relationship. when not speaking to these people, the need for human connection seems unbearable to deal with, and anxiety runs rampant

12. alien by lee suhyun

her mama told her she’s alien, but actually it was herself telling herself she’s alien mixed with influence from pop culture making her want to be a superhero and kids who told her she was a freak, all coming together in the desire for weirdness to be a Cool thing. kiana will wish til the day she croaks that she will have a realization that she has a special power

13. stressed out by twenty one pilots

ki doesn’t care about the core message of this song. many people relate to oh no bills~ adult stress~ but kiana doesn’t. even if she wasn’t born into a family that could live comfortably, and didn’t become an idol making phat stacks, she would feel the same. to her, it’s an inevitability. HOWEVA the beginning lines are 1:1 for how she wishes to be something extraordinary, and is supa insecure that she isn’t. i wish found some better sounds that no one’s ever heard. i wish i had a better voice that sang some better words ... i was told when i get older all my fears would shrink but now i’m insecure and i care what people think

14. true crime by epik high ft. miso

not exactly 1:1 word by word, since there’s several perspectives coming in one song, however, the overall message i think can be summed in it’s a true crime to be without you. other lines like i’d open up my chest for your entertainment, that was the line that drew me to originally put this in the playlist. i’m not sure on a story behind the song, but it strikes me as something bonnie & clyde-esque? there’s themes of being on the run, lying on the pavement dying, stuff like that. that kind of relationship is strongly the ideals kiana holds for her romantic and close platonic relationships

15. shine by pentagon (shouldve been knight but bad bois image PLAYIN)

i cannot explain to u the random joy this dumb song gave me when it came out. it’s similar to power up like i just?? get so happy lol anyway the whole premise is like nerdy person has a crush n theyre like oh my god~ why would u like me~ i cant say i like u~ it’s super fucking cute. i’m a loser who loves you. yes, i’m a misery. to you, i’m a nuisance, i’m an outsider, but in this world, i only need you. that’s where the kiana part comes in strongest, or explains it in one sentence. she worries she isn’t enough for others but her affections are always incredibly strong. also she’s cute

16. tail by sunmi dimensions soloist 2

when i first heard this song, i needed to play it again to pay attention to the lyrics because i had the feeling it was kiana-esque. i was right, but i would say that it’s where kiana could go at her worst. has she been there? i’m not so sure. perhaps teetering on the edge of having her claws out, but really, for now, it’s just that the potential is there

17. she’s my religion by pale waves

so as to not repeat myself too much and because this is so much fookin writing already, this is another song that talks about how deeply and dangerously kiana falls into others. she’s no angel, but she’s my religion, always finding ways to numb the pain ... made me feel like i was finally enough ... she needs this love just as much as me

18. space cadet by beabadoobee

this song has similar themes to alien, but rather than about being special, it’s about being in a shitty place and letting your mind wander to create a better reality. ki has her interests, her extreme love of her fandoms, because it’s an escape for her. that’s not something i personally approve of, however, it’s a common reality for many people. living in these online spaces and thinking of these fictional worlds gives her a place to go to when the irl world is too difficult for her to handle

19. me! me! me! by teddyloid

you might think this is a meme addition and sure! to a degree it is! but i’m also going to talk about it as an actual piece of music and visuals. first we’ll talk about the music video. kiana feels complicated about the type of anime fans that oversexualize everything, so in general, she likes a message that’s against those types. the message of addiction tearing real life relationships apart also is something kiana sorta needs to hear. the lyrics of the song itself talk about an all consuming type of relationship, and dissects it to explain how it wasn’t love, but worship, which was dangerous to them both. it’s a song that kiana perhaps would need to take to heart, but i, as her mun, am unsure if she ever will. that depends on the connections she forms, and what types of people are goading her on, or trying to get her to stop

#yes i am dirty hit trash blame that little emo ass punk andy and all their dirty hit aus #there are so many things i wouldnt give a shit about if it werent for my having a connection to them thru my muses #i watched another anime thinking it was research for ki lol #for now i think i'll do boring tags like sung n if i change my mind i'll come back later #tunes

[properweirdparker]

Someone Cool (Peter Parker x Fem!Reader)

a/n: aight this is my first fic so it's gonna be booty butt cheek no doubt. let me know what you think and I do take constructive criticism *sobbing intensifies*. but lemme know if you wanna be tagged for future fics n shit. The song in this fic is called fallingforyou by The 1975 which you can listen to here:

Summary: The daily life of Peter Parker is not as easy as it seems. With being a part time hero and part time awkward nerd trying to finish his last year of high school, he can't help but feel as if the world is weighing down on him. As if he is expected to be on top of things in his double life. Luckily he has someone who helps as a distraction from his chaotic life and reminds him he is more than the suit and powers.

Peter couldn't help but feel as if he was gonna explode. There was no way anyone could take on the responsibilities he had without going insane, and Peter was pretty sure he was about to lose it - assuming he hasn't already. Not only does he have a physics test at the end of the week that he did not begin to study for yet, he also needs to stay out longer than his usual hours in the night to patrol the area. The latter of the two leaves him feeling exhausted to even study for the former.

Lately, Peter has been feeling as if he has a heavy weight on his shoulders wherever he goes. As Spider-Man, he is expected to always be there whenever he was needed. It was a service he should never turn away from, not that he ever would, but he can't help but feel that being Spider-Man is starting to become a huge burden on his part. He feels horrible for thinking that since there are people out there that really needed his help, but this job has been taking away from his normal life as Peter Parker. Nevertheless he keeps those thoughts to himself, not wanting to come off as selfish.

Despite the chaos he attracts being Spider-Man and the add on stress he accumulates from trying to keep up with his normal life, Peter always knows who exactly to turn to whenever it gets too much for him. His best friend Y/n Y/l/n, who he met at the start of their freshman year, was always able to take his mind off from reality and just allow him to exist peacefully. Of course she didn't know he was Spider-Man at first but eventually she found out - Peter isn't exactly a master of subterfuge - and she was completely understanding as too why he kept it a secret.

What Peter loved most about his friendship with Y/n is that she leaves him alone without actually leaving him. She never strings up a conversation about anything to do with him being Spider-Man or about different assignments he forgot to finish for various classes. He appreciates it, he appreciates her for it. She was just what he needed, a distraction from everything.

Y/n would always strike up conversations about different things whenever Peter comes to her. If he is tired from his patroling duties and needs to rest a bit, he swings by Y/n's house and she tells him about this new book she is reading that has a character with the same name as him but differs in personality. If he is upset because a teacher of his randomly gives out a pop quiz for which he, well, no one was prepared for, Peter would find Y/n after school so he could walk her home all the while she brings up the topic of alien existence and how she feels it is selfish of people to think we are the only living creatures in the galaxy. He would have to introduce her to Thor one day, they'd hit it off immediately.

"Like are you kidding me? There is more to all of this and you have the nerve to say I'll believe it when I see it!? Imbeciles!!" She huffs as Peter laughs at her outburst, seeming to have forgotten why he was so upset in the first place.

Or if he just wants to hang out with someone he finds cool Peter would invite Y/n over to his house and she would talk about the two ladybugs that landed on her right shoulder earlier that day. Trying to figure out what it could mean and she would ask Peter what he thinks off it, genuinely wanting to hear his thoughts on this - another thing he loved about their friendship.

All these things are a part of the many reasons as to why he started to gain feelings for the y/h/c haired girl. She is so absorbed in knowing he is more than just Spider-Man. She reminds him that he is not the center of the world just because he saved it a couple times and he never chose to be either. To Y/n he was just Pete, her kind friend who helps to carry her many books she borrows from the library home so she won't struggle with it. Her amazing friend who she always asks for his input on certain things so she can have more perspective. He never found her irritating or weird whenever she would ramble on about anything she deemed interesting and she appreciated that. For Peter she was just Y/n, the girl that needs him to hold her things from time to time as she tells him about the latest updates on the many conspiracy theories she finds interesting. He wanted her to be more than just what they are to each other though he didn't know if she felt the same way at all.

It took Peter a while to come to terms with the fact that he had feelings for Y/n. It started off with him noticing small little details about the girl like the little strands of hair that were left out when she would put her hair up in a bun or ponytail. Or whenever she would be doing anything like making a snack or doing other small things, she would make a little song out of it and sing it to herself while completing these tasks, which he found absolutely adorable. He caught her singing about making soup one time while she was putting said soup on the stove to heat up once, he really wished he had brought his phone with him so he could record it. Even smaller details he notices like how her eyes would sparkle a bit whenever she talked about her favorite books or movies. At first Peter mistaked all of this as just his admiration for the y/h/c haired girl but it never stopped with the observations.

Peter found himself missings his best friend's presence a lot. Even after only a few hours of seeing her, he wanted to be with her again and listen to her talk for hours on end. He didn't know why at first but he just blew it off as nothing.

As time went on, Peter knew he couldn't deny it any longer. He knew why he was feeling these things but he just didn't want to believe it because then it would change everything. If she didn't feel the same way then it would totally ruin their friendship, everything would just be awkward and he would not be able to go to her when things ever get hard for him because he would be too embarrassed. He didn't want to jeopordize their friendship so he kept his feelings to himself. Thinking it would be for the best because these feelings were only one sided. He couldn't be more wrong.

Y/n invited Peter over after school so they could study together for their upcoming physics test, god knows Peter absolutely needed it. His duties as Spider-Man barley left him any time to study at all. Luckily for him, Happy let him have a couple of days off to prepare for it, after much persuasion.

They were both sitting on her bed looking through their notes and quizzing each other from time to time. An hour had passed and Y/n, bored out of her mind, decides that they should take a little break.

"Alright I'm beat, lets take a break yeah?" She looks to Peter and he agrees.

"Yeah a break sounds good, I'll go get those cookies your mom made from the fridge. Be right back." He then got off her bed to go to the kitchen.

Y/n then decided to play some music so she connects her phone to her speaker and puts her music on shuffle. She smiles when fallingforyou by The 1975 starts playing and she softly sings along to it.

What time you coming home?

We started losing light

I'll never get it right

If you don't want me 'round

I'm so excited for the night

All we need's my bike

And your enormous house

Peter came back with the cookies and stopped by the doorway when he heard Y/n’s voice. He just stood there in awe while she sung softly with her eyes closed. He smiled and his heart swelled at the sight. He knew she liked to sing but he never really got to hear her voice until now. Peter honestly couldn't be more infatuated with her than in this moment.

Y/n opened her eyes when she felt a presence and blushed when she saw Peter standing by the door smiling at her.

"Your voice is beautiful Y/n." Peter walked towards the bed and placed the cookies down then looked at the her and smiled when he saw her blush more.

"Thanks Pete." She bashfully smiled back and they stared at each other for a bit until she finally worked up the courage to say this next thing.

"Um, do you wanna dance with me? I mean you don't have to but I just love this song and I've always wanted to dance to it but-"

Peter cut her off with a smile "I'd love to."

They both stood up and faced each other in the middle of the room. Y/n moved closer and placed her hands on Peter's shoulders and Peter hesitantly put his hands on her waist. They then started to sway as the music softly played in the background.

Don't you see me I

I think I'm falling, I'm fallingforyou

And don't you need me I

I think I'm falling, I'm fallingforyou

And on this night

And in this light

I think I'm falling, I'm fallingforyou

And maybe you will change your mind

Y/n moved closer to lean her head on Peter's chest and he hoped that she wouldn't notice how fast his heart was beating in that moment. He wanted to tell the girl how he felt about her so badly but he just didn't want to risk losing their friendship. She just made him feel so many things that he couldn't help but want more than this.

According to your heart

My place is not deliberate

The feeling of your arms

"I can hear the gears in your head turning rapidly Pete. Penny for your thoughts?" The girl on his mind chuckled and looked up at him smiling. God he loved her smile.

"It's-It's nothing I just-" he sighed and she tilted her head in confusion, waiting for him to finish.

I don't wanna be your friend

I wanna kiss your neck

Screw it he thought and leaned in until his lips connected with hers. Y/n's eyes widened for just a split second before she closed her eyes and kissed him back. Her hands tangling into his soft brown locks while his hands gripped her waist and pulled her closer.

They both pull back when air was needed and Y/n leaned her forehead against Peter's. They both were smiling at each other and the latter spoke up.

"I've been wanting to do that for the longest time you know." He chuckled softly and she giggled and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Me too Peter." They both shared a laugh and with that they leaned in to kiss once more as the song was finishing it's course.

Don't you see me I

I think I'm falling, I'm fallingforyou

And don't you need me I

I think I'm falling, I'm fallingforyou

And on this night

And in this light

I think I'm falling, I'm fallingforyou

And maybe you will change your mind

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