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#haven't seen these online so here!!
horridcassette · 3 months
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David filming for the "Girls On My Mind" music video, 1992
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natterghast · 7 months
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i'm determined to write tomorrow. i'm home from house sitting now and am thankful to be back in my own space
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dollsome-does-tumblr · 7 months
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i feel like archie ofmd is getting an inordinate amount of dislike and resentment. (i haven't really seen it around here, but in other spaces online!) i've seen so many posts throughout s2 like, "who is she? she's so random! what is she contributing? why is she here? we know nothing about her except surface level stuff and random backstory details!" but like ... that also describes almost all the men in the crew!!! why CAN'T we have a woman pirate who's got the same kind of chaotic, unburdened-by-backstory vibe? why not, huh??
tl;dr -- i love archie and i'm so glad she joined the crew!
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astonmartinii · 10 months
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insta au req about reader and charles being best friends and a rift comes between them because of his girlfriend(or whoever!!) and reader and max finally get together and she shades ferrari and charles purrrrr (if not i totally get it queen love u loads)
into the arms of another | max verstappen social media au
pairing: max verstappen x reader
after charles leaves her out in the cold, y/n falls into the arms of another.
part two part three
yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, arthurleclerc and 506,823 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: dumb and dumber: vacation edition
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user1: they're really just the definition of no thoughts behind the eyes
user2: it's crazy cause we all know you have to be smart to drive an f1 car and she has a literal degree in architecture but they are always in the most insane situations ever
charles_leclerc: that's my private jet don't call me dumb
yourusername: *rented, dumbass
liked by maxverstappen1
user3: they're friendship goals like perfect example of platonic soulmates and male and female friendship
arthurleclerc: so like what does a man need to do for a feature on your instagram?
yourusername: soz arth, step ur aesthetic up x
user4: oh to be besties with an f1 driver
user5: wait so like all the leclercs and their gfs went on this holiday, right?
user6: yeah arthur’s and lorenzo’s gfs have posted about being there
user5: so it’s kinda muggy that y/n refused to post the girls?
user6: not really she’s posted with the girls loads i think y’all just want an excuse to be mad at her
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charles_leclerc
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liked by yourusername, carlossainz55 and 1,231,907 others
charles_leclerc: summer spent with the best people
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user8: no y/n ....
user9: did yall see that tweet about the girl who met y/n in corsica when charles left her stranded on the beach to walk home on her own
user8: what ???
joristrouche: love you brother
charles_leclerc: best mate
user10: the vibes have shifted, the atmosphere is weird and the absence of y/n is the centre of it
user11: i fear i've seen this film before and y/n is defo getting iced out because charles in back in a relationship
user12: noooooo i thought he'd matured past that after the last time he fucked y/n off for a girlfriend
user13: babes please stop expecting so much from men
liked by yourusername
pierregasly: you look sunburnt calmar, did you leave it at home cause y/n isn't there to remind you?
charles_leclerc: she's here and i have been putting it on the sun just has it out for me
yourusername: i tried pierre, believe me
user14: well this is fucking awkward
user15: charles is not beating the allegations of forgetting about y/n while in a relationship LOL
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maxverstappen1
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liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 1,034,667 others
maxverstappen1: simply lovely to win my home race again. the orange army never disappoint and i'm so thankful for all the support here this weekend
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user20: call me a conspiracy theorist BUT he thanked the orange army and the support separately i.e. Y/N Y/LN
user21: now you bitches usually jump to conclusions, but i'm hearing you this time
martingarrix: next set just gonna be super max on a two hour loop
maxverstappen1: i'll be there
user22: i'm sorry i'm new here why is y/n being in max's garage such a big deal? who is she? (gen.)
user23: y/n is charles' best friend, they've known each other since childhood and she's supported him through all levels of karting and single-seaters. though they haven't interacted too much in the public eye, max and y/n have known each other for as long as charles and max have. charles is a bit notorious for dumping y/n to the side for his girlfirend any time he's in a relationship and being inseparable once he's single again. after he ALLEGEDLY ditched her at a beach in corsica over the summer, y/n hasn't been seen with him or interacting with him online and was then in max's garage.
user24: maybe i'm messy but i genuinely want max and y/n to be together
yourusername: the red bull catering was defo worth breaking the cost cap
maxverstappen1: you're welcome any time
user25: can someone please check charles' pulse
landonorris: he looked like a cartoon with steam coming out of his ears earlier
user26: LANDO WHAT?
user27: tbf i think that's just a general side effect of driving the ferrari
yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 542,987 others
yourusername: hard ball or soft serve
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user28: in my professional shadow identification opinion, i have deduced that it is in fact max verstappen
user29: ur so delusional (i believe you)
charles_leclerc: so that's who you've been getting our vanilla and chocolate cones with
yourusername: i'm not entertaining this argument over the internet charles you know where i live
liked by maxverstappen1
user30: she's so much better than me i'd rip him a new asshole right here right now
arthurleclerc: please come to dinner on sunday, carla can't come and i don't wanna fifth wheel plsssssss y/n
yourusername: sorry chickie i've already got plans but give mama my love
arthurleclerc: noooooo what could be better than mama's sunday lunch
yourusername: i promise i love those dinners but i've had enough experience seventh wheeling you guys and would love time with someone who loves me for me
liked by maxverstappen1
user31: yall i feel like i'm in the family group chat in this comment section this feels illegal to see
user32: max is so sly with the comments he's liking but that's MY petty king
f1
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liked by yourusername, alexalbon and 1,304,783 others
tagged: maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc
f1: oops. charles leclerc takes championship leader max verstappen and himself out of the race at the first corner. the two did not mince their words, verstappen saying: "i tried to stay out of trouble but trouble came to me"
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user33: the way i RAN to twitter
user34: i'm not a verstappen fan but that quote goes so hard
user35: i'm all for leaving the drivers' personal lives alone but lord the tea is piping and sky cutting to y/n in max's garage? OOP
user36: no cause someone at sky has been watchign too much drive to survive because putting "charles' childhood friend" on her name banner as she's in max's garage was pure cinema
user37: charles be chatting mad shit for the man at fault
user38: leclerc drove into verstappen and perez and thought he'd manage to get out of the blame again LOL he's such a joker
user39: i think it's a good thing that y/n is skipping that dinner
user40: the way charles' gf wasn't even there this weekend and he was clearly looking for y/n in the garage
user41: the drama is too much for me to keep up with
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yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri and 603,487 others
yourusername: only 16 years in the making but we finally got a clue
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user42: i'm going into cardiac arrest
maxverstappen1: finally now i can comment freely about my unbelievably sexy, smart and hilarious girlfriend who i love and defo haven't pined over for ten years
yourusername: awwwww maxy, if it makes you feel better i've liked you for that long as well
user43: hmmmm idk this all seems a bit fake
yourusername: babes i still fancied him when he was a lanky, spotty teenager
arthurleclerc: i can confirm this
user44: the way y/n was always so nice and constantly hyping charles and his gf in their comments ... where's charles
user45: tbf she is dating his rival
user44: oh please we all know they never hated each other and have been good friends for years, charles is just being petty
danielricciardo: never thought i'd see the day when max would grow some balls and finally ask you out
yourusername: i thought you were meant to be some great wing man, i didn't see you helping
danielricciardo: i didn't want to get ran over by charles, no thank you
user46: i'm so sad i want bestie charles and y/n back
maxverstappen1
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liked by yourusername, martingarrix and 1,409,875 others
maxverstappen1: some girls might want to ride a ferrari but mine wants to ride a red bull
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user47: THE CAPTION? THIS MAN IS SO UNHINGED
user48: mad max returns and in the form of shady instagram captions
yourusername: but you didn't even let me drive :(
maxverstappen1: babe i love you but you don't have a license and that's a very expensive car
user49: wait don't make me depressed didn't charles say in an interview ages ago that he was going to teach y/n to drive? did this never happen?
yourusername: sorry to ruin your day but i'm still illegal on the road
landonorris: so no photo credits? i watched you guys kiss for so long to get that shot
yourusername: i didn't hear you complaining on the day
maxverstappen1: let him be lonely in peace
landonorris: that's really not the save you think it is but thanks mate
user50: i am so happy that y/n is happy but the way charles can't be happy for her relationship like she always is for me is so sad to me
user51: i get that the charles and y/n situ is sad but she's clearly happy with max leave them be
fin.
note: hope you enjoyed my love, i hope this was kinda what you were envisioning, i'm happy with it but would be up for a part two if people want it lol xx
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scootatwoni · 2 months
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Miku expo 2024 is off to a truly awful start but I haven't seen any posts on here detailing the mess. So here we go, here's what's happened so far.
I will be linking some posts and threads from Twitter and will update this post as need be.
5/1 edits and additions are in blue
**PLEASE DO NOT comment or send me DMs complaining about the setlist**
**Rather than tweet complaints at the Miku Expo twitter account, it may be best to email CFM and/or Crunchyroll directly.**
🎵 First up, ticket presales.
This year the expo was sponsored by Crunchyroll and ticket presales were only supposed to be available to those that had a Crunchyroll subscription. Those that qualified were emailed a code for presale. However, when that code was inevitably leaked to the public, it turned out anyone could buy presales because it wasn't set up in any way to verify your subscription.
Additionally, VIP tickets are supposed to give the holder early access to the venue and merch tables, but I'm hearing that this is not being honored despite it being advertised on some of the venue pages. (see replies to this tweet)
VIP for San Jose did not grant early access to merch
The VIP package does not include a glow stick (scroll down to "about MIKU EXPO VIP PACKAGE" here), which causes some more difficulties for those that were not able to buy a glow stick online.
🎵 Merch
Higher prices and lower stock than usual. This is especially frustrating for the glow sticks.
The only glow sticks that are allowed inside these venues are ones made for the event or ones from past vocaloid concerts. This is because other glow sticks are too bright and will reflect on the hologram screen. But what with the stocks being so low, many people can't even get these glow sticks.
Merch at the venues is also not looking promising. People are reporting there have only been a quantity of 95 glow sticks per venue.
The Official Miku instagram announced on 5/1 a merch restock. At this point there are only 7 shows left (the next of which is on 5/2). It is unlikely any of the merch will arrive on time.
🎵 so about that screen
The biggest news to come out about Miku expo 2024 is that they arent using the hologram screen. The Vancouver and Portland concerts have used an LED screen.
This was neither advertised nor communicated from CFM or Crunchyroll to the public.
This also makes the prohibiting of outside glow sticks redundant, as they won't interfere with an LED screen.
An LED screen is much cheaper to use than the transparent screen used for the holograms. And a lot of folks are pointing out the discrepancies between this and the higher ticket and merch prices.
The LED screen is also a lot more noticeable and out of place, it hasn't been blended well on the stage so far. Views from further back and the sides are not looking great.
The Miku Expo team have stated that the Vancouver show was filmed officially. Seeing as the LED screen was also used in Portland, we can reasonably assume the LED has nothing to do with the filming.
Fans are speculating that the reason the Miku Expo team have prohibited photos and videos at this year's expo is to hide the fact that an LED screen is being used for multiple concerts.
There's also speculation that the hologram screen is in CA in preparation for Coachella, where Miku is meant to preform on the 13th and 20th of April. Please note that this is just speculation, we have no way atm to confirm this. UPDATE: The LED was used at Coachella
Additionally, I personally would recommend not getting your hopes up about the hologram screen replacing the LED one for any concerts after Coachella. Seeing as neither Crunchyroll or CFM have communicated or addressed any of the complaints yet, we may just be stuck with the LED for the whole tour.
A spokesperson for CFM addressed the concerns via this article from Business Insider. The LED will be used for the entirety of the NA and Europe tour.
The LED screen broke during the phoenix show. Apparently the vibration from the bass was so strong it shook the connection lose. It was fixed at the end of On The Rocks.
🎵 the doujin goods incident at Vancouver
Please refer to this thread for the full info, but here is a summary:
The Miku Expo team refused to let a fan distribute free doujin goods despite this fan getting prior permission from CFM to do so. An individual also took this fan's miku cutout, though I believe it was returned later.
🎵 there is still a live band
I figured I'd clear this up since I've seen some mild miscommunication on it. There is a live band, just not the usual band they have for Miku concerts. This is not at all an issue, and in fact I've heard nothing but good things about the live band. I figured I'd bring it up for information's sake.
Honestly, kudos to them killing it on stage in the midst of the mess.
🎵 Miscellaneous
-Someone Allegedly pissed on the floor of the Vancouver show. I have. no words. What the FUCK dude. If anyone can find the original tweet(s) claiming this, please link them to me. I'm not rooting through vocatwt to find the piss tweets.
-There was a car crash outside of the san jose concert, in front of a full line of miku expo attendees. The driver's plate fell off. Fans got a hold of it and took pictures with it, some using the hashtag #trafficjam as a reference to the NILFRUITS song of the same name. Someone even kept the plate.
UPDATE: The plate was returned to the authorities
-Fans cheering for Elmo at San Jose.
-Someone is looking into a class action lawsuit. This has sparked some discourse. Many want some kind of justice irt to the poor organization of Miku Expo thus far, but others are fearful that taking any kind of legal actions will put the future of NA vocaloid concerts in jeopardy.
-Someone brought a ball pit to the atlanta show
-Master Chief in the miku expo pit. Jesus was there too.
-Garfield
-A man suspected back in 2016 of having CP and investigated by the police, attends the Atlanta show. Do not exchange personal info with this man. If you already have, please cut ties immediately. Please report any suspicious activity to the authorities. Here is his entry on the US sex offender registry.
🎼Concluding notes
It's been 6 years since Miku expo has come overseas. The 2020 tour was cancelled due to covid and Miku expo 2024 is it's 10th anniversary. This was supposed to be a big deal, a huge comeback tour for NA!!
However, due to absolute abysmal planning on Crunchyroll and CFM's parts, Miku expo has been a massive disappointment for many fans so far.
I know I'm nervous for when I go in May, but I want to try and end this on a more positive note.
Vocaloid has, first and foremost, always been about the music and the community. It's undeniable that we as fans have been mistreated by CFM and Crunchyroll here This is not the concert tour we deserve, but I'm sure we can still find things to enjoy.
Hearing vocaloid songs live has always been a dream of mine, and for the first time in my life I'll be surrounded in person by folks who love vocaloid as much as I do. I couldn't even fathom being in this situation back in the early days of vocaloid, being a little kid listening to Melt and World is Mine for the very first time.
I'm absolutely still angry about how the expo has been handled, but I still want to enjoy what I can, being with folks who share that same passion.
There are plenty of fans on twitter detailing the fun time they had at the shows so far. If you do end up going, you can absolutely still have fun too!! And please please please do not spread your negativity to the producers on the set list for Miku expo and Coachella. These artists worked so hard and they are not responsible for the bad decisions made this year.
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budgebuttons · 5 months
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There's a lot of reasonably frustrated but ultimately misdirected psa-style posting about how viewers NEED to start reblogging things rather than just liking them because that is the primary mode of post circulation on this site. The modern manifestation of this sentiment seems to miss the fact that, if you've been here for ~15 years, were here prior to, during, and after the exodus to the bird app, you already know that likes have always been more common than reblogs, that many people simply don't want to put your art on their blog, and that guilting end-users into using a microblogging site A Specific Way absolutely does not work. If it did, the trend would have shifted a decade ago. Because this conversation really is that old. Regardless, the modern discourse of how difficult it is to be Seen specifically on Tumblr isn't productive because I think it ultimately misses the reason being an artist online feels so Bad, now.
The social media era has funneled Looking At Stuff on the Internet into an economy of engagement that encourages end-users to treat everything we/they see as quick, cheap, and disposable. This is just another fun and flirty way that capitalism devalues art. It's nothing new. Trying to force masses of users to behave in a way that is healthier for the circulation of art isn't going to do anything to solve the discontent we all feel when we hurl something into the void and it is ultimately ignored. I swear up and down: A higher notes number won't feel better, either. Popularity is just as demoralizing as radio silence, but it manifests differently. Instead of 4 likes and maybe 1 reblog from Old Faithful Mutual, you get a horde of people who treat you like a content machine. You keep hoping for an impossibly Bigger Number. The notifs on the first Big Number Post haven't even settled, and people are already asking when the follow-up is coming. You get anons, but most of them are trying to passively convince you to give them More Content.
It's really, really hard to make people care about art. If there was a silver bullet for making the average person appreciate the enormity of human effort behind every beautiful thing they encounter, we would have found it centuries ago.
The best thing creatives can do for their lives online is to be friendly, or at least kind, with other creators. "Big" artists don't form in-groups because they're snobs. They find each other because they casually showed each other support, and their mutual appreciation for that Thing that wound them up in the same tag becomes a foundation for connection, and in many cases, the ever-illusive Bigger Audience as they introduce themselves to each others' circles. We get more eyes on our work by building community with each other.
Where does that leave people who are just here to look at things, not post them? I think the answer is almost identical: COMMENT!! Please, comment! The first step to engaging with art on a more meaningful level is to point out something you particularly enjoy about a given work. It can go in the replies, it can go in the tags, doesn't matter!! If you notice some symbolism or make some connection, there is all likelihood that OP put it there because they desperately wanted somebody to notice it. Let them know why you like it!
Reaching for the nebulous, impossible goal of better post circulation isn't going to make being a creator online in 2023 suck less. Meaningfully connecting with each other can, will, and does. You can make someone's day just by passingly letting them know that their effort is worth more than a number.
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genderqueerpositivity · 10 months
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CW: testosterone therapy, periods, physical changes from HRT
Earlier this year, I'd reached a point where I was wondering if I'd already seen all of the benefits and changes from testosterone therapy that I could possibly receive. It really seemed like everything had come to a halt as far as changes from HRT go.
Worse, what started as random spotting and painful cramping (which I originally blamed on really high stress) eventually became full blown periods, and this went on for months. At one point, it really felt like I wasn't even on T anymore. I blamed myself, because I would occasionally be late or forget to apply my testosterone cream. I thought that the bleeding, the inconsistent T levels, and the lack of progress was my own fault.
And then, I had to switch compounding pharmacies. And every single one of my problems disappeared within two weeks of starting the first tube of cream from the new pharmacy.
Nothing else has changed. Not my dose, nor where I apply it. I still forget and apply a few hours late sometimes, other times I miss a day entirely.
But the periods and cramping haven't returned. And I'm beginning to see small changes here and there again. I have to trim my ear and nose hairs now; I have more chest hair than ever before. It's time to face the fact that testosterone has made me a bear lmao.
Point being, looking back I really think that the quality of the testosterone cream I was getting from that first compounding pharmacy was kind of suspect. Looking at reviews online from other people really confirmed my suspicion; many people claimed that the quality of the prescriptions they received was wildly inconsistent from month to month. Not to mention, more recent reviews seem to suggest that their business is going under entirely, and from my own experiences attempting (and failing) to get my prescriptions filled with them in a timely manner, I'm not surprised.
I don't often see a lot of posts from trans folks on testosterone who use compounded cream, so I want to put this out there for others to see. If you're struggling to maintain consistent T levels, don't rule out the quality of your prescription as a possible cause. Make sure that the compounding pharmacy you're getting your T from is reputable and has good reviews.
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notmuchtofind · 7 months
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public eye | d.s
pt2 here x
word count: 1.6k
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tw: mentions of infertility and low appetite
synopsis: the lead up to the breakup between you 2
it's everywhere.
'Drew Starkey And y/f/n y/l/n SPLIT' ,
'What Happened Between Drew Starkey And y/f/n y/l/n?', 
'Drew and y/n Messy Breakup?!"
you can't escape what you're trying to forget...
You and Drew were together for 3 and a half years, you guys went public with your relationship pretty quickly, constantly making tiktoks and posting instagram stories of each other. It sent fans Wild! which caused you to gain a huge following on the internet, from fans of obx to just random people in general that simply enjoyed seeing your guys' relationship unfold.
you were the IT couple. Red carpets, premiers, award shows. you name it. you did It all with Drew. 
your life changed drastically when you met drew. and because you were doing it together it was all okay. more than okay, it was bliss.
It's been 2 months since you guys broke up, and even though neither of you had addressed it online yet, people started to speculate, people started to talk and people came to an assumption (which was correct) that you and Drew were no longer together. 
| a week before the break up |
*buzz* your phone vibrates...
its drew
Drew: Hey, plans have changed, I'm sorry I can't come see you tonight...reschedule? 
you sigh...
this is the 3rd time in 2 weeks he's cancelled your plans for something that's "just come up". You've never been the type to not trust Drew, he's always been truthful and you guys have been so transparent with each other ever since you got together, but something just feels off this time. you know that you guys have been struggling for the past couple of months with distance and lifestyle changes and it worries you that it's all getting a little too much for you both
Was it the brief mention of you wanting to try for a baby in the next 1-2 years? Maybe it scares him? but you struggle with your fertility and starting to look into starting a family now would prepare you for the next couple of years...
OR
Was it the long distance? He's busy shooting a new movie for Netflix which requires him to go back and forth between LA and Hawaii, its difficult because neither of you like LA enough to want to spend time here constantly, but you've compromised for drew, and with him not even being here half the time, it feels like a waste of time. and this text message just tops it off for you, you haven't seen him in a week, and your mainly here for him, it feels like a stab in the back.
you open your phone and tap on the message icon...
your thumbs hover over the keyboard for a while whilst you think of the right way to phrase how you feel
maybe it would be best to just have a talk in person? you wonder...
y/n: reschedule for when? 
Sent!
a few minutes go bye, which feels like hours
*buzz*
Drew: I'll see you tomorrow afternoon after shooting? Brunch?Downtown LA?
you sigh, you just feel like Drews being stale...no pet names? no I miss you, I love you? you know its small but you can't help but overthink
but you're determined to not let your worry show through the message sent back
y/n: yeh, let me know what time, i'll see you tomorrow. night drew...I love you Read 22:34 pm
no reply
your alarm rings  9:30am 
you groan and fumble to switch it off
picking up your phone you squint your eyes to read the message from Drew which was delivered at 7am, you guessed he had to get up early for filming.
drew: i'll be done around 1pm if you wanna meet me at the cafe?
y/n: yeh, see you there
you respond
'The cafe' , the cafe you and drew always visit when in LA for premiers and awards shows most of the years you've been together. you knew exactly where he was talking about.
12:30pm rolls around and you grab your car keys after slipping your shoes on, ready for your 'date?"( if you can call it that?) with drew. The nerves kick in as you have a sinking feeling that he's got something to say... you switch on your car and drive over to downtown LA.
---------------------------------------
You grab your bag from the passenger seat and step out of the car after parking it down a side road near the place you're meeting. As your walking towards the cafe you see drew stud outside the main entrance on the phone...he looks to be laughing
as soon as he clocks you walking towards him he stutters, his face slightly drops and fumbles to end the call "yeh yeh, okay speak soon" drew mumbles.
drew pulls you into a hug as you step closer, its a tight hug, he kisses you on the head before pushing you back slightly, his hands on your shoulders
"how've you been?'' Drew says. "umm, yeh not bad" you smile slightly, nodding as you lie through your teeth. you've been nothing but a mess for the past couple of weeks.
"who was you chatting too just there" you nod, looking down at the phone in his hand
"oh, urm just, my costar in this movie, the directors wanting to change a part of the script so we was just like...discussing that" he chuckles nervously 
"oh I see" you shrug 
taking a seat inside, you watch and Drew goes up to the counter, ordering you both a coffee, he offers to order you food but you refuse. your appetite has been non existent for the past weeks, food was the last thing on your mind.
Drew sits opposite you after placing the coffees on the table. you play with your hair whilst staring at Drews hands gripping his coffee tight...
"so y/n...listen, I'm sorry I couldn't come see you yesterday, I, I uhhh..." drew stutters "I went for a drink with a few of the people from the set and uh... and I was up early this morning, i'd have had to of travel 45 minutes in an uber to come see you last night yanno...like, shit I dont know... it wasn't practical' he squirms, fumbling over his thoughts
it may have been minor, but you feel your blood boiling, you don't feel any apologetic energy coming from drew, it feels more like guilt, not that he's let you down, more the guilt that he enjoyed himself more than he would've with you last night...you're fuming
'stay calm y/n' you think too yourself
"But you knew we made plans for the evening Drew? you couldn't not drink for one night just to make sure you could see me?"
he leans over the table slightly "look y/n/n im trying to create a bond with these people I-"
you cut him off. 
"Seriously, what the fuck drew?!" you scoff "listen to yourself, it's been shit between us for months now and you think doing shit like this is going to fix anything?" you gesturing with your hands, trying to say slightly under your breath so the whole cafe cant tell your arguing
its silent for a moment whilst you both think of what to say next
"you know I'm struggling ?" you say through cracks in your voice, looking at drew, tearing up 
you don't want him to see you cry, you hate crying in front of drew, never mind in public
he just looks at you, guilty and wide eyed, he tilts back on his chair and sighs whilst pinching the bridge of his nose.
"fuck y/n, I dont know" he looks away...
" I'm feeling a lot of pressure right now, I'm working and I'm away and the last thing I want right now is a child y/n! do you understand?"
you're taken back... you've spent the last 3 years moving away from your hometown, supporting Drew, making a life for yourself wherever he goes but he can never meet you in the middle?! he won't even consider thinking through the thought of one day starting a family with you? you're just asking for a discussion about what the future might hold but he gets defensive every time it's brought up...
"Is that it?" you ask " is that what's turned you so cold?"
he leans over trying to grab your hand "fuck...baby, no I-" 
you flinch as you cut him off
"drew if it's not what you want and it's what I eventually want, are we even right for each other? what are we doing? you don't care for me like you usto, you're not the same, your a dick" you say trying not to shout
"I don't know what I want right now?" Drew states, not looking you in the eyes.
How's he being so calm? Why is he doing this? This is not like drew.
"fuck you" You stand up out of the chair and walk right out of the cafe doors, tears start streaming down your face and you try to hide you face with the palm of your hand...
*snap* followed by a flicker
*snap* *snap*
fuck.
you look around...
"is that paparazzi?" you mumble to yourself 
you walk faster to your car quickly opening the door and throwing your bag on the backseat, you fumble to turn the engine on and see slight flickers through the rearview mirror...this is the last thing you need right now.
part 2!!!!!
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houseofanticipation · 8 months
Text
You're sitting with your friend Sam at a coffee shop, catching up. She's telling you about an instagram ad she keeps getting for some audiobook streaming service. "It's just crazy," she says, "because I was just telling Lucille I wanted to start reading more books but I never have the time, and then it's like instantly I'm getting these ads all the time."
"So what," you say over your steaming mug, "you think they're listening to you?"
Sam shakes her head. "Honestly I think it's almost scarier than that. They have so much information about us, they don't even need to listen to our conversations. They just know, based on everything they've gathered about me, that I'm probably someone who wants to listen to audiobooks."
"Well they can't be that smart," you say. "Because the only ads I've been getting lately are for something called Slut Cream."
Sam raises an eyebrow. "You must know I'm going to need more details."
You take out your phone and find an ad to show her. It's not difficult; literally all of the ads you see on instagram are like this. They're even showing up in other places now, on webpages you visit or apps you use. This one is one you've seen before: a beautiful woman in a crop top that just barely covers her nipples is proudly displaying a squeeze tube of the kind you'd buy sunscreen or toothpaste in. The caption says, "Being a slut isn't a hobby—it's a lifestyle! Step up your slut game with Slut Cream! Shop Now"
"I don't even know what slut cream is," you say. "All you get when you look it up is a bunch of porn."
"Well, obviously it's a way to step up your slut game," says Sam sagely. "What does it say on the website?"
"Oh, I'm not clicking the link," you say. "I don't want to encourage them! What I want to know is why suddenly this ad is all I can seem to see!"
Sam shoots you a wink. "Maybe you're just a slut. These data brokers know us better than we know ourselves."'
What neither of you know is that it's actually quite easy to buy online ad space, and they let you get pretty specific with your intended audience.
I live in the next apartment over from you. I've been watching you for a long time, studying you, listening to you through our shared wall. We've talked a few times, some terse conversation at the mailboxes or in the hall, which is how I knew enough about you to place those ads, with audience parameters so specific that probably only you and about five other people would see them. I had fun making them; hiring the model to do the photoshoot, dusting off the skills I picked up in that college graphic design course, creating a website for this fake business (though I'm disappointed you still haven't clicked through to see it). If you actually tried to buy slut cream, the website would tell you we're currently closed due to high traffic, and to check back later. Nowhere on the website does it explain what slut cream is.
A number of strange things happen to you over the course of the following day. On your lunch break you walk down the block to the deli by your office. You're in here every weekday, but today the energy here is different. People are staring you, side-eyeing you, having whispered conversations that stop abruptly when you get too close. As you're walking back to work, an old woman spits on the ground as you pass, you'd swear you heard the word "whore!" hissed under her breath. You wonder if you should say something, stand up for yourself, but she's elderly, probably confused, and you decide to be the bigger person.
In the hours after lunch, you're propositioned by no less than seven of your male coworkers. You've had to refuse a few invitations to dinner in your time, but seven in a day is completely out of the ordinary, and the things these men are offering to do to you go way outside the bounds of first date stuff. One guy tells you the conference room is empty, if you want to go for a quick fuck; another guy tells you he hasn't cum in a month, and if you sucked his cock he'd pump so much cum down your throat that you wouldn't need to eat dinner. Your boss even tells you he and his wife are looking for a third and he thought of you first, like he's offering you a big promotion. The strangest thing is that all of these men seem genuinely surprised when you turn them down. Like this sort of thing usually works with girls. One guy even says, "sorry, I was just trying to help."
It was pretty easy to hire actors for the deli and the street. You go to the same place every day, so I knew where they'd have to go and roughly when they'd need to be there. The harder part was getting your coworkers to play along, especially because I was picky about getting people who could sell the act. For a few of them all it took was money. A few of them I had to blackmail. For your boss I had to call in a favor, get his boss to threaten his job. He protested, but I think it made his cock hard, thinking about fucking you alongside his wife.
I keep this up for a few weeks. Anywhere you go I have people watching you, talking about you behind your back. I have people approaching you on the train, at the park, in restaurants, offering to fuck you like they're doing you a favor. You stay firm in your refusal—I wouldn't have expected any less from you—but I can tell it's beginning to eat at you. I watch you try to figure out what you're doing that seems to give all these people the wrong idea about you; you start to dress more modestly, talk less, even walk a little less confidently. But none of this will change anything. All it will do is make you feel more repressed.
After a month, I decide it's time to make my move. I could probably wait longer, but the anticipation is getting too much for me, and besides, you're beginning to get a little wild around the eyes. I'd hate to break you before I've had my fun. One evening, when I know you're home, I unlock your apartment with the duplicate key I had made two months ago. You're in the kitchen, washing dishes with headphones on; you didn't hear me come in. I leave the door open as I approach you, admiring the way you shake your ass to whatever it is you're listening to. I get right up behind you and stay there for a moment, lavishing in your innocence, feeling my cock strain at my belt as I imagine taking it away from you. Then I reach around front of you with both arms and plunge my hand into your panties
You shout in shock, fight back, try to push me off as the headphones fall off your head. But I've got you pinned against the counter, my full body weight against you, one hand down your pants, the other groping your breasts. Once you realize that fighting won't help, you stop struggling and ask me what I want. "Please," you say. Just hearing that quiver in your voice almost makes me delirious with lust. "Please, let me go. I don't want this, please."
I bury my face in your neck, kissing and breathing you in. You smell incredible, like fear and sweat and sex. I bring my lips up to your ear, let them brush against you as I speak. "Of course you want this, baby. You've been trying so hard to hide it, but you don't have to hide with me. Look, you left the door open for me." I let you turn your head enough to see the door hanging open just as my fingers find your clit. I'm rubbing you gently, tenderly, just the way I've watched you touch yourself through the webcam I have in your room. My other hand is under your shirt now and I'm squeezing your breast, rolling your nipple between my fingers, feeling it slowly grow full and erect. You try to stifle a soft moan and I kiss your neck again. "It's okay, baby. You don't have to be ashamed. It's okay to want to feel good. Let me make you feel good."
You clutch your face in your hands and let out a cry of frustration and humiliation and agony and pleasure. You barely know me; I'm the guy next door who sometimes looks at you a little too long. The guy you speed up to avoid in the hall. But that feeling radiating from you clit... You think how exhausting it's been, doing everything you could think of to change people's perception of you, get them to stop looking at you as a slut, how none of it has done you any good anyway. You wonder if you'd have had more fun fucking Jim in the conference room, or swallowing Dylan's cum, or having a threesome with your boss and his wife. And that throbbing in your clit, the agonizing pleasure...You remember that beautiful woman in the ad: "Being a slut isn't a hobby—it's a lifestyle!" You think about how happy she looked, how fulfilled. You remember Sam's words: "These data brokers know us better than we know ourselves."
It does feel good, doesn't it? To let me touch you, pleasure you, to let go of this act you've been holding on to. Isn't it okay to want to feel good? Why did you ever let anyone make you ashamed of that? You try out another moan, letting the pleasure well up through your chest and out your mouth. It feels good, so you try another, and another, and then you're leaning back into me, grinding up against me, delighting in the feeling of my hard cock against your ass.
"Good," I say. "You're letting go of those silly hang-ups. Now we can have our real fun." My hands still around you, controlling you, I half lead-half carry your trembling body to the bedroom. I throw you on the bed, face up so I can get a good look at your eyes, see what I've done to your mind. Those same eyes that have avoided me in the hall so many times now gaze hungrily up at me, wanting me, needing me.
Who am I do decline?
I pull off your pants and panties as a single unit, letting you take care of your shirt for yourself. I kick of my own bottoms, letting my throbbing cock slap against your leg as it springs from its confinement. Don't think I don't notice the way your whole body shivers when it touches you. I lift your legs and push your knees up towards your ears; you're remarkably flexible. It must be all that yoga I've watched you do at the place downtown. I've greatly enjoyed your visits to that place, so it's nice to see they weren't in vain.
You're afraid of me, all of a sudden. Maybe some part of you is seeing sense, realizing you'd have to be crazy to let a guy like me come into your home and fuck you like this. But what was the alternative? Have me rape you? Let me tell you, darling: I would have raped you. You feel the head of my cock gliding over your skin, exploring your inner thighs and pubic area, and tremble at my touch. I want this, you tell yourself. This is what a slut like me needs.
All the same, you cry a little bit when I penetrate you. It's not because it hurts—it does hurt a bit, but you're wet enough, and it's not entirely a bad pain. It's not because you're afraid—well, maybe in part, but that's not the core of it. You cry because you're finally letting go. Letting go of the person you used to be, or thought you were. It's the relief of knowing you don't have to pretend anymore, wrapped up with the mourning you feel when you lose a potential version of yourself. I lean across you as my cock fills you up, and tenderly, I kiss away your tears. "Hush, my darling. I'm here. I will always be here. I will love you despite what you are, when everyone else turns away in disgust."
My weight on you feels good, comforting. The way I press down on your legs, stretching you out, driving my cock so deep inside you that it brushes your cervix. It hurts a little, but is that any better than you deserve? Could a slut like you really expect to find better than this? Better than unconditional love and a desire to give you the pleasure you need?
I'm speeding up now, my face something like an animal, furious and insistent as I gaze down at you. There's darkness behind my eyes, you think, something cold and cruel. You thank God I'm on your side. My hips are like a hammer on your pelvis now, and with each thrust you feel my cock bulging inside you, throbbing and pulsating with anticipation. When I finally plant my seed in you, groaning and growling and pressing you further into the bed, you find there's something comforting about the warmth of my cum inside you. Maybe my seed will take root, make you swell up with me, make you mine. As I roll off you, huffing and panting, the tears begin to stream down your face again, this time from joy.
What did a slut like you ever do to deserve someone who loves you like I do?
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maxwell-grant · 6 months
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So is Worm good from what you have read
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"Yes" doesn't begin to cover it but yes. Worm is a brain-rewiring mobius strip disguised as a bible disguised as a superhero web serial that either cured your cancer or shot your dog or both depending on who you ask, and it has many extremely dedicated, brilliant scholar priest surgeons publicly dissecting it on this platform on the regular to the point I don't think I have much to add to the conversations surrounding it, even if I do have some The Thoughts about it. I had never even really seriously thought about superhero prose before and Worm isn't a thing I go back and reread frequently but it did a complete and total 180 on the way I think about superheroes and even fiction, and I've never stopped thinking about it since I've read it.
It is a monumentally impressive story with completely absolutely incredible characters that I cannot stop thinking about. No matter where it was going, even past stretches that were less interesting or more of a slog to read or worse, I could not put the story of Taylor Hebert down for one minute. Tattletale fascinated me every step of the way, I had to keep up with her. Rachel Lindt was a character I feel like I'd been waiting my whole life for. What was I gonna do, not see them through? I feel like Worm easily loses you if you don't particularly connect with the characters enough to justify to yourself the amount of time you'll spend with them, but man, I could not unglue my eyeballs from these people enough (I love all the core Undersiders, to be clear, I'd say it's Rachel > Taylor > Tattletale > Aisha and Alec and Brian, there are very small gaps between these, I just don't go berserk for the last three like I do for the first three, I'm taking Bitch and Skitter to the grave I'm dead serious)
Worm irreparably destroys your ability to engage with superhero fiction the same way ever again, as evidenced by the fact that it destroyed the author's own ability to engage with his own superhero fiction ever again. And everybody who read it has one or several gripes with it with some major dealbreakers in the mix. Tumblr's kinda the only place online where you can really talk about them at length without the spectre of John Wildbow hanging over the discussion, which enables discussion to the point where yes, maybe it does look like to outsiders that nobody can agree on whether Worm is good or what is it even about or whether it even has worms in it (it has at least one, although it's a very big one).
And it is good, it has the Undersiders in it and the Undersiders are one of the greatest groups of characters ever put together, but everyone has at least one major point of contention with Worm whether it's the timeskip or the length or the racism or the gross fatphobia or aspects surrounding the Dallon-Pelham Torment Nexus and etc. I'd say it has maybe the most racist vision of Latin America I've ever seen in a superhero text a hair short of pro-colonial tracts in Golden Age comics and that is a tall fucking order by any metric (part of why I started WEON4 as a project was motivated by spite, to try and make my own stories about non-American superheroes even if just as practice). It is Complicated, and that winds up making it so fascinating to talk about.
Worm has self-sustaining ecological systems of posts up here, far away from the Spacebattles and Reddit battlegrounds where it has different ones and that's not getting into Weaverdice or the sequel or Wildbow's larger body of work, which I haven't gotten to and probably will not any time soon because Worm was enough of a commitment as is. Do I recommend Worm to everyone? It is certainly not to everyone's tastes and I personally find it difficult to describe it simply enough to make it sound appealing or not like a pyramid scheme. But yes I do think it's good, in fact great, in fact, amazing, except when it isn't, and except it Plainly Sucks, but then something like Taylor vs Mannequin or Kevin Norton's interlude or "You needed worthy opponents" happens and it fucks harder than anything has ever fucked before and you don't walk away from it the same, so yes I guess "good" will have to do now.
It's certainly a lot but I definitely found it worth my time to read and then read the texts written about it here. You'll have to take my endorsement of Worm as proof of it's quality and proof of how deranged it makes it's readerbase, they're not mutually exclusive. If you can make it, Worm and the wormosphere has layers and layers to wade through and talk about and enjoy, despite how we're all so very small in the end *gunshot*.
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palipunk · 5 months
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Hey there sorry to bother, but I’m very interested in traditional Palestinian tattoos but I can’t find any good sources or information on them. Do you have any recommendations? Thanks so much in advance ! I’m Palestinian, but was raised so distantly from our culture I’m hungry for more if you know what I mean ♥️🇵🇸
Not a bother!
I will be honest, there really aren't many resources online that go into detail about them. A lot of information about them just hasn't been recorded and they've faded away, as older generations of Palestinians die, their tattoos and their meanings have gone with them. A lot of the Palestinians still wearing these tattoos are older Bedouin women.
I uploaded this post a few years ago with some illustrations and I answered an ask about it with some links and discussed traditional tattooing practices in West Asia between Arabs, Kurds, Assyrians, and Yazidis (there are some overlapping symbols and meanings with the tattooing throughout the region). Tattooing in Palestine is hard to document because we've been forcefully exiled all over the world. A lot of Palestinian traditions, including tattooing, were uprooted with the destruction of Palestinian society during the Nakba. There are a few different terms for it, depending on what language or what dialect of Arabic you speak, but dag/deq/dakk/daqyit are all ones I've seen used.
I also have to say that many of the meanings within the tattoos were discussed either only between the tattooer and the client or were based on one's own community or tribe. Just for example: Some tattoos or combinations of markings can distinguish a person's tribe (this is something more common for tattooed Bedouin women) or village or it could be for health, protective, religious, or cosmetic reasons. My Great-Grandmother had them for cosmetic reasons, it was just something they did in her village according to my father - sometimes tattooing is regarded to be like jewelry.
The tattooing itself would be done with a needle and the ink would be made of ink or smoke residue (sometimes breastmilk was included) and then punctured into the skin. The few articles or books I've seen it referenced in have made note that the tattooers were usually Domari artisans.
He's in the second link but I will always highlight @siinlayth 's work on cataloging tattoos in West Asia, he's a bedouin artist and has spent lots of time putting this carrd together if you'd like to browse: https://southwestasiantattoos.carrd.co/#gallery
I'll just include some more images here:
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{I haven't posted about traditional tattooing in a while (none of this is directed at you butchorc) but the last time I uploaded stuff about tattooing in Palestine on my blog, I had people (who were not Palestinian in the slightest) reblogging it with tags saying it was for DND inspiration and putting information about our tattooing practices on their DND blogs for "character reference" - do not do this. Please treat our customs respectfully, this is a dying practice that we are trying to preserve- I will block anyone I see doing this.}
I hope this was at least a good starting point! I hope things go well for you and you can learn more about your culture, best wishes!
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simplydnp · 2 months
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WAD: Cover Art
dan is still working on selling the distribution rights for We're All Doomed! so i decided to make some DVD/Blu-ray disc jacket art!
this is my attempt at a traditional jacket design! none of the images used are mine, but i did create the concept and design:
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as i was making the first one for myself, i was struck by the fact that 'well, it's for me, so it doesn't have to look like a stereotypical jacket cover' which led me to be more artsy in my approach for the next one:
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i was really enjoying the creativity and space to explore, so i went looking for more inspiration for a third design. this led me to dan's favourite Muse album: Origin of Symmetry, which i paid homage to:
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after the first Muse album, i looked at their catalogue to see if there was more inspiration there. i was just thankful dan's favourite was easy stylistically to mimic, unlike say, 2009's The Resistance...
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thank you @danielhowell for the inspiration!
nerdy stuff & reference pics below the cut!
General notes
i don't know how to use photoshop! i entirely brute-forced my way through the whole project, and the only tutorial i looked up was for the gradient text in the 4th cover
this wasn't even the original project i was working on! you'll eventually get to see that though
and this one also inspired art for the disc itself so stay tuned 👀
i will do anything for authenticity so these are Full of intentional details
matching fonts is a nightmare
the traditional cover
took the longest, as it was the first.
the barcode numbers are the date of the first video he uploaded on dinof, and the last tour show date (in m/d/y)
i changed 'iceland' to 'poland' on the front cover, as he never actually went to iceland, and poland wasn't ever on the list even though he did go there
the orange may look a little off-center in the front, but these designs need to include space for a spine between the front and back cover, i promise it's right 😂
the black and white cover
inspired by the 'i want to believe' aliens poster
the cover art comes from his metal band merch shirt design
i had to manually shrink the text, line by line, and ensure it all lined up on the back!
i even made the logos on the back greyscale
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the Muse: Origin of Symmetry cover
a shockingly perfect style for a WAD cover. i'm so glad i used the cubes, even if they couldn't be orange.
there's some versions of the art online where the sky is even more orange and it baffles me how i haven't seen any parallels like this before
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the Muse: The Resistance cover
this cover was never supposed to see the light of day! i meant it when i said i was grateful i didn't have to try to adapt this complex design... and yet, i tried anyway.
i did all the grid lines by hand, including the jagged/broken edge parts, shading each section, and then drawing every star.
the hardest part was getting the gradient on the back text to cooperate. photoshop's gradient settings are surprisingly limited
gotta shout out @amazingphil for being the reason i knew what this cover looked like--it's the only muse album i knew the art of before embarking on this quest!
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obligatory sob story:
i've been extremely and suddenly ill for 6 months. it is difficult to function moment to moment, but especially in doing little things just for me. this is the first and only art project i've been able to feel inspired to not only work on, but to finish, and despite the pain and long hours, i enjoyed every minute of it. thank you, dan, for creating this space for me to explore, and thank you, everyone here, for being wonderful support during this time 💞
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onenicebugperday · 8 months
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@galacticnova3 submitted: Found this absolute chonker of a lady while looking for a mate for Green Bean Casserole! She either contains multitudes or just had a really good meal.
Wasn't too happy about being gently lifted off my shirt, though. Very offended that I wouldn't let her climb me.
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And of course, Green Bean Casserole update! She finished her last molt successfully and is now a very unique looking adult! Mostly straightened out and having no troubles getting around or eating, though her shape still differs from the usual a bit, as do her colors.
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She also hasn't lost her somewhat clumsy charm.
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Thankfully, this sort of thing only seems to happen outside the vivarium; haven't seen or heard her fall when hanging from the lid or her favorite stick. I ended up moving her back to the "recovery" terrarium since it was already set up to be usable by her and I still need to properly update the mesh lidded one to be safe for mantises. Haven't had a good chance to shop for any kind of screen yet.
Anyways, here is Green Bean Casserole's "you better not be sharing unflattering pictures of me online" look.
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That woman is very chunky! Most likely gravid. Usually a wild-caught meal isn't big enough to get her that fat just from eating, but it's possible. I'm so glad Green Bean Casserole successfully molted into an adult and is doing well! And only slightly misshapen lol. Please tell her she's still beautiful and perfect.
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patheticbatman · 4 months
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I haven't seen any posts about this yet but l've seen some fan art that makes me feel this needs to be said:
Don't forget Leah Sava Jeffries has darker skin when making Annabeth Chase fan art!
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She is much closer to Lupita Nyong'o than Zoe Kravitz when it comes to shading, reflection, and complementary color usage :).
Lighting for dark skin is different on light skin. Light skin gets changed by lighting, and dark skin reflects the lighting. Below is a lovely shot of Nyong'o's character from Wakanda Forever in mourning. The filmmakers emphasize the umber qualities of her skin in contrast to the funereal white and (arguably harsh) light across her shoulder below.
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Try to pick spots that aren't directly in or near the light, and try mixing 3 or more! You can put it into a color mixer online, or even color pick, lower the opacity, and lay the shades over each other until you find one that fits. And of course, the more 'realistic' you want to go with shading and lighting, the more shades you're going to want to be able to explore vivaciously :D.
Let's take a look at the same 3 beautiful actresses I mentioned at the beginning, with a bad color picked area and a better-ish color picked area. (Please keep in mind, these are not perfect comparisons, as I was not able to find pictures of all 3 actresses under the same kind of lighting.)
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Kravitz's has a clear difference between the two, but they aren't too far apart, in comparison to Nyong’o’s and Jeffries’s. Note the dullness in the poorly picked shades as opposed to the better ones. Also keep in mind that while Kravitz has a rosy undertone (at least in that picture - it’s from The Batman, which has stylized coloring) Nyong’o has a slight cool undertone (I can’t pin down quite what, but the picture is definitely not stylized like Kravitz’s).
Jeffries runs more ochre or russet, but neither of those are pink. They are more red than terracotta or umber, but to call Jeffries’s face rosy would be wrong. Err more towards the golden when drawing her.
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^^saved an image from a writing tutorial long ago, but can’t seem to find it. If someone recognizes it, I’ll link it. EDIT: it’s from this post. Thanks @autumnrowancollector ! <3
And also, the darker skin gets, the less likely warm undertones are going to appear. Don't be afraid to use blue or purple or even green on occasion!
Additionally, cool lighting on dark skin is always a win imo.
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(I was going to use that picture of Jeffries as Annabeth by the lightning bolt, but then I realized the lighting on her face doesn’t quite match up with where it should hit from that angle, and I realized they kind of just turned everything bluer, so screenshot time!)
(Also if you want another really great live action example, check out anything Aldis Hodge is in, like Leverage and Black Adam)(and of course there’s Spiderverse <3 but I want to post pictures of Hodge)
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Now, to here’s a list of more experienced people’s advice:
Black facial features & hair
Shading digitally for a (somewhat) monotone Black character
Stylistic choices and places to start looking for inspiration (besides a search engine).
Coloring Black people’s lips
A better coloration tutorial
Also a nice tutorial for Indigenous skin tones, just in case yall want to draw Piper or use this information for other dark skinned characters :).
EDIT: Some actresses who are closer in skintone to use for Annabeth, provided by the lovely @blackfemmecharacterdependency ! If you can’t find a reference for Jeffries in a specific lighting, maybe check out these ladies’ pictures! It’s a reblog, so scroll down.
TLDR: Don’t make Annabeth pink and pale, make her dark and golden.
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sungbeam · 15 days
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nonidol!jung sungchan x f!reader
at some point beneath the glittering summer sun and along evening tides, you and sungchan tripped over the line drawn in the sand.
▷ genre, warnings. brother's best friend!au, friends-ish 2 lovers, family vacay + sungchan lol, swearing, kissing, fluff, humor, sungchan does go shirtless (it's a beach), mentions of food, mentions of alcohol; lee jeno, sohee, and anton r ur brothers! (so u have the lee last name but u "look more like ur mom"); barely proofread, also im sorry if this is boring my head has not been in the game for Months
▷ word count. 10.0k
DISCLAIMER: i DO NOT actively write for or stan riize; this is literally just a birthday present T-T so if dynamics/personalities aren't right, i literally don't know these guys 💀
a/n: happiest birthday to my beloved soulmate and wife @justalildumpling :')) i hope u like it <3
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OFTEN when you came back home from work, your joints and muscles ached to the point you could barely stand, your hair felt gross on your head, and your eyes stung from dehydration and sleep deprivation. That was the toll of working closing shift at the restaurant you worked at, and had been working at, for the past several years. 
It wasn't out of the ordinary to see the lights in the house still warm and bright when you got home either. Your family was a handful of night owls, not discounting yourself. They had witnessed you in this particular rat-nest dump of a state time and time again, which was why you didn't worry about looking like Death Incarnate. 
“Hey.”
Your soul left your body. 
Sitting on your living room couch was not a family member. Though, he might as well have been a part of it from how much you had been seeing him lately. Jung Sungchan was your older brother Jeno's best friend, but Sungchan was in your year rather than Jeno's. The two met via the high school soccer team and had been good friends since. 
Years later, he was sitting on the living room couch, nearing one in the morning, his hair damp from a recent shower, T-shirt sleeves rolled up his shoulders, and his phone paused from the game he was playing. Your brain was too tired to even register the amount of muscle packed onto his arms (what the fuck—). 
“Sorry, did I scare you?” He chuckled sheepishly, reaching up to ruffle his dark hair, grown out slightly. 
“What are you doing here?” You blurted instead. Exhaustion meant that conventional politeness was completely defenestrated. It was one in the morning on a summer night… usually your older brother was out clubbing or drinking (not that you were any different, but you worked quite a bit more nights lately). 
Sungchan's eyes danced up and down your form. “Jeno and I decided we're gonna pull an all-nighter for the road trip in—” He glanced over at his phone, “—seven hours and just knock out in the car. How was work?”
Road trip? Car ride? If you could just make it to the shower… “It was fine. Tiring,” you said with a sigh. You trudged over to the far side of the room, behind Sungchan, into the kitchen. You grabbed a cup to fill with water, then drained it down your throat just as fast as it had been filled. 
With water in your body, your systems were finally coming back online. Road trip. Car ride. Your eyes widened. “Oh my god. I have to pack.”
“You haven't packed yet?” He queried, tone light and teasing as he watched the progression of your panic with amusement. “Even Jeno's packed.”
You sputtered back at him, “Quiet, you!”
Sungchan's warm laugh followed you out into the hallway and all the way to your room. You couldn't understand why your face felt so hot; you should have been too preoccupied to be embarrassed, after all. 
You slammed your bedroom door shut, dragging a hand down your face. You couldn't believe Sungchan just saw your I-just-worked-for-eight-hours-in-customer-service face. Not even some of your closest friends had seen the aftermath of your night shifts at work yet. 
Crazy. 
It wasn't every family vacation where a plus-one was invited. Your family tried to set aside time for these trips just for the six of you, but this time was an exception. Somehow—you weren't a part of the delegations—Sungchan was invited on this summer's trip to the coast. Your mom mentioned offhandedly it was because Sungchan “was a nice boy,” or something to that effect. Your family rented out a cabin right along the beach for a week, and the lot of you were going to be stuck in the family minivan for a good eight hours together. 
And if Sungchan was tagging along, that meant you were going to have to fight for the middle row seat or—
“Yn—you’re in the back with Sohee and Anton.”
You came to a screeching halt on your way out of the house, a bucket hat shielding your puffy eyes from the waking world, your duffle strapped over your shoulder. It was seven hours later—an ungodly eight in the morning. “What? Nuh-uh; I don't think so.”
Jeno stood only a few meters ahead of you by the door of the minivan, his hands primed on either side of his hips as if he was the self-proclaimed guardian of the car seating chart. “Well, I said so. Sungchan has longer legs than you—”
“Why don't you sit in the back then?” You shot back with a saccharine sweet smile. You were too tired for this shit. 
Sungchan scratched the side of his head as he walked out of the house to stand by you and join the argument, his flip flops thwacking against the ground. “Uhh, I can sit in the back middle seat. It's cool, dude.”
“Sungchan's too tall for the middle seat,” your dad interjected. He took yours and Sungchan's bags to add to the trunk. “Yn's in the back. Sorry, hon.”
“Dad,” you groaned. 
“You can switch with Jeno half way.”
“Dad!” Jeno squawked this time. 
Your father gave a tired sigh, saying more than he would ever say aloud. “Everyone in the car. Can't you two be like Sohee and Anton? At least they're knocked out.”
“They know they'll be sent to the back without question,” you pointed out as you made your way to the minivan. As you passed by your brother, you sent him a very potent stink eye, then clambered into the back row. 
Like your father had said, your younger brothers, Sohee and Anton, were already dead asleep. Their mouths hung open wide enough to catch any wayward fly with their heads angled back against their neck pillows. You snorted and snapped a photo of them to add to your collection of brotherly blackmail. 
Your mom was settled into the front passenger seat already queuing up driving directions to get to the coast. From your perch in the middle, you had a clear view of her phone screen—seven hours and two minutes. Yay. 
You supposed there wasn't anything too terrible about the middle seat; you were out like a light as soon as the car pulled out of the driveway. 
When you woke up, it was about four hours later, and your parents were having a hushed discussion amongst themselves and Sungchan. A baseball cap had materialized on top of Sungchan's head at some point when you were asleep, and the sleeves of his T-shirt were once again rolled up to expose his muscled shoulders. Did this guy not have a tank top?
“...I like it, at least—well, I don't mind all the extra requirements, and I know it'll help me reach my ultimate end goal, so.”
Your mom let out a hum of approval. “Ah, that's good that you like it. You'll be busy as a nurse.”
Right, Sungchan was in the nursing program. Your brother wasa kinesiology major, and you were going into law. It made for quite the diverse pool in the car. 
You opened your mouth in a yawn and fumbled your hand around your lap for where your earbud had fallen out of your ear, carefully so that you didn't shake off Anton's head on your shoulder. (Oh no, was he drooling?)
“Yn-ah, good morning,” your mother teased quietly. 
You glanced up, eyes going wide when you realized both your mom and Sungchan were now peering back at you. “Morning,” you murmured. Your fingers enclosed around your fallen earbud to tuck it into the case left in the bag at your feet. 
“Sleep well?” Sungchan piped up. There was that twinkle in his eyes, the same one from last night. It made your stomach twist in a way that was more pleasant than not. 
You cleared your throat, unconsciously reaching up to adjust the placement of your bucket hat and praying you didn't look like a sewer rat. “For the most part,” you replied. “How about you?”
He shrugged. “I had a decent power nap. Your mom says you're going into law. That's really cool.”
“Oh,” you blinked. “Thanks. And you're in nursing, right? That's cool, too—super admirable.”
Sungchan's mouth widened into a small grin. “Thanks. It's only our first year, but it feels like so much work already.”
“Right? Tell me about it…”
Less than fifteen minutes later, the family van pulled into the parking lot of a diner off the interstate, exactly halfway through your journey. The seven of you, weary and hungry, filed out of the vehicle and into the establishment. You and your parents slid into one booth, while your brothers and Sungchan occupied the one behind you. 
There was a low-spun fan swirling above your heads, an 80s song you vaguely recognized wafting through the air at a dull decibel. Your phone was stashed away in the bag tucked into your end of the booth seat while you idly sipped on your glass of iced water. 
You jolted at the feeling of something light hitting the back of your head. 
A gasp from behind you. 
You rolled your eyes, twisting around in your seat while picking the wadded up straw wrapper from your hair. “Who did it?” You deadpanned. 
The boys table was filled with sheepish expressions, to their credit. Your younger brothers, who were sitting on the far side facing you, thrusted their fingers in each other's faces in a torrent of blame and accusation. 
“Aish, never mind. I don't care who did it,” you dismissed. Your eyes caught onto Sungchan's. He sat just diagonally to your left and for some reason, his eyes on you made you feel warm. 
You flicked the wrapper back; it hit Anton square in the forehead. Jeno barked out a laugh. 
“Nice shot,” Sungchan nodded, extending his fist to you. 
You couldn't suppress the smile from coming onto your face as you bumped his fist with yours. 
Food arrived swiftly afterward, and it was demolished as quickly as it came. In the sway of a palm tree frond, the seven of you were back in the confines of the family minivan. 
The remainder of the car ride carried over quickly. Though Jeno unhappily sat his ass down in your previous spot with you claiming his from before, he and your other brothers snored away five minutes in. You didn't go back to sleep despite having a full belly and less than five hours of sleep under your belt; you watched the world pass by outside the window in a blur. 
Urban skylines melted into rolling emerald mountains and pastures, sank into palm trees and sandy shores that met a blue horizon as far as the eye could see. 
The beach house your family rented this year was a two story cottage-type. It was small, with only one bedroom and bathroom upstairs, a bathroom downstairs, and a living room and kitchen. The rest was all beach. It was determined that you and your mom would be given the honors of the upstairs bedroom and bathroom, while all the boys piled into the living room. 
Once everyone was settled in, there was little else to do but go make use of your new backyard for the next week. 
“Yn! Come on, slowpoke!” Sohee shouted at you from the shoreline with cupped hands. You saw his bare back as he splashed into the waves after Anton, who was already only a speck in your vision. 
Your bare feet sank into the sand, and you wiggled your toes between the warm grains. Sunshine, glorious and concentrated above the distant horizon, soaked into your skin. Ah, this was the life.
Just as you reached for the hem of your shirt to reveal your bathing suit, you caught movement from the corner of your eye. Jeno and Sungchan were coming onto the beach from the front of the house, a disassembled volleyball net hanging between them. 
Your eyes nearly fell out of your head at the sight of Sungchan's back—
Before Jeno or any of your other brothers or Sungchan could catch you ogling, you gave yourself a nice, mental slap to the face. No more. You needed to stop this. When did you ever look at Sungchan like this?
(You could still remember when he was the gangly kid with the growth spurt trying out for the high school soccer team. He was paired with Jeno to test his potential, and the rest was history.)
Sungchan was the first to spot you as he and Jeno determined a place to set up the net. He beamed boyishly, his chin inclining toward you. “Hey, wanna play?”
Your eyes flickered to the corded necklace hanging from his collar and between his—Yn, shut the fuck up. “Sure,” you said simply, feigning nonchalance. 
If he noticed your wandering eyes, he didn't comment. Instead, he nodded back at you. “Sick.”
You both turned back to your original tasks. Your hands went back to the bottom hem of your shirt to tug it up and off your body. (Maybe you weren't the only one with wandering eyes, though.)
You draped your clothes over the back porch railing and began making your way down to the shoreline. “I'm gonna take a dip and then come back up!” You said to Jeno and Sungchan. 
“Oh, okay—ow!” 
You didn't see nor hear what happened, but when you glanced back, Sungchan had his back turned to you as he furiously rubbed the back of his head, while Jeno smiled innocently. 
Your older brother waved you along. “Carry on!” He said. 
Walking backward for a couple steps, you shot him an incredulous look, then turned around to meet your little brothers in the ocean. Whatever. 
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You had been staring at the wooden ceiling above your head for the past forty-five minutes. Your mom's even breathing and the ocean waves rolling outside the window failed to rock you into unconsciousness. You'd figured the sunlight from this afternoon would have made you tired, or perhaps all the food you ate for dinner, but your eyes continued to stay wide open. 
A quiet sigh fell from your mouth as you rolled over onto your side and gently peeled the covers off. With near silent footsteps across the oak floors, you slipped out of the bedroom and down the stairs. 
The cacophony of combined snoring from all the men in the living room was comparable to the volume of the waves just outside. 
You barely contained your snort of amusement. You didn't worry about waking any of them up as you crossed the living room, full of a smorgasbord of limbs and bodies draped across the large couch sectional and blankets on the floor. 
The back door was left unlatched when you reached its threshold. Outside, moonlight dappled across the calm sea like a sprinkling of diamonds. You slowly pried the door open, freezing. 
You and Sungchan made eye contact from across the back porch. He was perched on the top step, nursing a bottle of beer in his hand. A loose breeze wafted through the strands of his hair. 
“Sorry,” you whispered, moving to retreat back into the house. 
“Oh, no—please.” He patted the empty space next to him on the porch step. 
You blinked, at odds. He was clearly out here for a reason and you'd figured he wanted some space, but if he was inviting you, then… 
You closed the back door behind you and settled beside him, with a comfortable amount of negative space between your bodies. You folded your arms over the tops of your knees and stared out at the midnight horizon. It smelled of salt and sea spray, and the light wind was a refreshing crispiness against the humid evening air. 
“Couldn't sleep?” He murmured, glancing over at you. 
You nodded. “Yeah. You?”
He hummed in response. 
“I'm not surprised,” you said. The corners of your lips curled upward. “I wouldn't be able to sleep amongst my brothers either. Their snoring could wake a bear.”
Sungchan sputtered out a laugh as his eyes crinkled upward and he pressed the back of his knuckles against his mouth. “I wasn't gonna say it, but…”
You shared a grin with him. “I will happily say it for you, dude.” 
His eyes were stunning in this lighting. The moonlight hit his irises at an angle that made them shimmer like a shade of molten copper. He licked his lips, and you saw his eyes dart from your eyes, down a few inches, then further down to the beer bottle in his hands. 
“Oh, uh,” he stammered, tipping the bottle nose in your direction, “want some? I thought the alcohol would help me sleep, but it's not looking awfully promising.”
For a split second, your heart leapt at the thought—your mouth pressed against the place his mouth had been, tasting the place he'd drunk from. 
You dashed the thought from your mind. It couldn't have been so significant as your brain was making it out to be. You were probably just sleep deprived. 
“Thanks,” you said while reaching across the gap to accept it from him. Judging by the weight, it was just about half full, and you took a light swig. 
A drop of liquid dribbled out of the corner of your lips, and you swiped it with the pad of your thumb, sticking the finger into your mouth to suck it off. You passed the bottle back over to him, catching his eyes not looking at yours. 
(The organ in your chest was no longer in your chest. Was it normal for your heart to make a home in your throat instead? Why did he look at you like that?)
“Any reason for not being able to sleep?” You asked him to break the silence. “I mean, besides the symphony my brothers and dad are conducting, of course.”
His eyes shuddered, as if breaking out of a trance. “Oh, uhm—nothing in particular, I guess. Maybe it's just from all the excitement. I think it's usually hard for me to sleep in new places.”
You bobbed your head in understanding. “No, I get that. It takes me a little to get used to new environments, too. I don't know how I would have survived if I was living in the dorms at uni and not at home.” The university you attended was a decent commute from your house, so living on campus was never something you gave much thought to. The idea of living independently appealed to you sometimes, but in general, you didn't have a ton of qualms against your circumstances now. 
“For sure,” Sungchan whistled lowly. He contemplated the opening of his beer bottle, then took a gentle sip of its contents. “Have you made a lot of friends? I feel like it's a lot harder than people make it seem.”
You passed him a curious glance this time. “Some, but it's definitely not as easy as high school. You haven't made a lot of friends?”
“The soccer team, mainly,” he chuckled. “The occasional ally in my classes.”
You let out a bright laugh that made his smile widen. “'Ally?’” You parroted. “What a fun word to call classmates.”
“It's true!” He insisted, chuckling. “Some of these professors are evil, man. Competitive grades? Not a chance,” He scoffed. “We're all in this together, even if the curve is against us.”
You clapped a hand over your mouth to keep from being too loud, but the rolling waves likely covered your noise plenty. Your family were deep sleepers. 
“I just figured that you meet lots of people,” you offered when your mirth died down to a giggle. You toed a pile of sand sitting on the last step of the porch. “Your socials are pretty active,” you said, “but I guess I shouldn't judge a book by its cover.”
“I could say the same about you, Miss Party Girl,” he smirked. “When are you gonna drag me to a rave?”
Heat raced up to your cheeks. “I've only been to one,” you said, rolling your eyes. He'd seen that post? First, the post-work daze, and now, the turnt raver? “I haven't gone to a party in a few weeks 'cause of finals anyway.” 
Now that you thought about it, you'd been so busy as of late, you couldn't even count the amount of outings you'd declined on your two hands. 
“Trust me, I get it.” He raised his hands in an act of surrender, his knees angling toward you. The negative space was suddenly a lot less negative. 
Another tip of his beer bottle; it swapped hands once, twice more. The liquid dribbled smooth down your throat just as Sungchan knocked the rest back. The empty glass made a dull thunk sound as it hit the wooden porch to Sungchan's right. 
“So what I'm getting,” you drawled, mimicking his position by angling your knees toward his. You felt your legs brush—the stimulus sent a jolt down your nerves that warned of addiction and tasted like the forbidden. “Is that you've never been to a rave before?”
Sungchan gave a noncommittal shrug. “Maybe I have.”
You mocked his shrug. “Maybe you have.”
“Or maybe it's just that I haven't gone with you yet.”
Even the waves seemed to quiet for a second. Your heartbeat stuttered in your chest, and you tied down the nervous laugh ready to bubble out of your mouth. You bit your lip and found yourself nodding. “We'd paint the town red, Jung Sungchan,” you murmured. 
There it was again—that flicker of his gaze to some place you both knew crossed a line. It was the beer, was what you were telling yourself. It was the beer. 
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Seagulls surfed the ever-blue sky. Eternal summer could be thought of as a filter of golden, glittery gauze across one's already rose-colored glasses. But summer, truly, was the shade of Jung Sungchan's tank top peeling off his body as he sprinted down the sandbank after your brother, Anton. 
You watched the fabric whip around in the salt breeze before settling into a heap where his footprint melted into the mineral grains. You were giving Sohee the sunscreen spritz-down up on the covered porch, while Jeno barreled down the bank after his friend and brother. 
From behind you came the scratch of the back door sliding open. You and Sohee peered back to where your mom poked her head out. 
She just barely caught her sunglasses in time as they slipped off her head. “Hey, your dad and I are heading out. Watch each other, okay?”
“Got it!” You and Sohee chirped. 
One more nod from your mom, and then she was gone. Your parents were going to take a date into town, just the two of them. That left you and the boys here with the surf and sand—definitely not a terrible compromise. If you wanted, you could probably have the whole house to yourself, anyway. These guys could entertain themselves. 
“Yn! Sohee!” 
Jeno arced one arm up into the sky to beckon you down to the sea, only to get dragged underwater by his two comrades. You and Sohee harked out twin laughs as you watched Jeno fight for his life with limbs flailing and foam flying into the sky. 
You patted Sohee's shoulder as you set the can of sunscreen onto the porch step. “Alrighty, you're good to go, bro.”
“Thanks—race you down!”
“Hey!” Your laughter echoed as you bolted down the sand after him to join the fun. 
As your feet dug into the wet embankment, your palms made purchase against Sohee's shoulders to shove him into the water. A yelp leapt into the air, and you turned away to avoid getting hit in the face with the consequence of your prank. 
“I'm so gonna get you for that!” Sohee spat water out of his mouth, a wicked grin pulling onto his lips. 
“No, you're not, actually!” 
You bolted—well, stomped, your way through the knee-deep water, furiously trying to get away from karma. Water yanked down on your limbs in a forceful coax to give into your punishment, but you were determined. 
You could hear your brothers’ hollers of encouragement: “Get her, Sohee!” and “RUN, YN, RUN!”
Adrenaline pumped through your veins and you pushed your legs harder. 
“I got her!” Wait, was that Sungchan?—
You suddenly felt a pair of hands on either side of your waist—you swore as your legs came out of the water and your world twisted. 
“No, no, no, no, no!” You squawked, squirming wildly in Sungchan's arms as he scooped you into his hold like a bride. (NO. NOT LIKE A BRIDE. WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE A BRIDE?—) One arm cradled your back and the other under your knees, and he laughed—he chuckled—as you attempted to flip yourself out of his grasp. 
“You're not getting out of this, party girl,” he said close to your ear. 
For a heartbeat, you lost your breath at the rasp behind his words and the grin on his face. But a heartbeat was all he needed. 
There was free fall, and then all sound muffled as cold water engulfed your body. You plugged your nose and screwed your eyes shut. You felt your ass hit the sand at the bottom in slow motion, before the air in your lungs began to lift you back up to the surface of the water. 
You broke out with a gasp, hair flipping back as you furiously swiped your hands down your face to get the water out of your eyes. They stung like a bitch, but you could feel the rush of blood in your ears; it was thrilling. 
A hand in your vision enclosed around yours.
“You asshole!” You scowled up at Sungchan from where you knelt, though it was half-hearted. 
He beamed back at you boyishly with damp hair hanging in his eyes and water running down the crevices of his stomach like a goddamn system of canals. “You're a good sport, Yn.”
“I'm really not.”
You had the distinct pleasure of seeing the smile slip off his face before you used his grip on you to yank him into the water. You swallowed a good half pint of saltwater, but the revenge couldn't have been sweeter. 
When Sungchan's head broke the surface, it was followed by a dog-like shake of his head. You laughed to turn away from the spray of water; Sungchan delighted at the sound. 
Amusement still lingered on your lips as your eyes snagged on the piece of seaweed that made its home on his head. You didn't think twice about it before leaning closer to reach it. 
You stepped forward, and—oh boy, was that a mistake. 
You had a front row seat view of a droplet of water slipping down the slope of his nose, the curve of his lips, and the cliff of his chin. You wrestled down a swallow, and pulled the seaweed off his head, flinging it into the water. 
“You had, uhm, a little…”
“Right, thanks—”
You both flinched apart as a man-made wave of water crashed into your sides. “AMBUSH!” Your three brothers declared, springing up out of the water and parading a full-blown attack with all weapons firing. 
You and Sungchan were swift to launch your own counterattack. 
Merriment filled the summer air as much as saltwater embedded into your skin and eyes and mouth. You almost made the mistake of thinking your racing heart was just from the determination to beat your brothers, and not from the guy on your side of the war. The heat was getting to you and the sun was getting to him.  
It was about an hour later that you found yourself lazing upon the slick and smooth plane of a surfboard. The ocean rocked you gently from beneath the board; it had been surprisingly calm all of today. 
At some point, you and the boys established a truce in the Great Water War, mainly because your brothers were hungry and there was a big, juicy watermelon just begging to be cut open and devoured in the house. 
Suffice to say, you let your brothers figure it out. 
Your consciousness faded into the foreground of your mind as a distant sound of splashing neared. You peaked one eye open, lifting the rim of the hat up to see who dared to encroach upon your isle. 
You could recognize Sungchan's mop of hair from a mile away, at this point. You couldn't tell if that was a good or bad thing, but why did it have to be either?
He cropped up right beside you, pushing back his hair to keep the water out of his eyes. “Hi.”
A smile curled onto your lips, teasing. “Hi. Good swim?”
“Good nap?”
“As good as one can be on the open ocean,” you said, shifting the hat up so you could see him better, but keeping your face shaded. “I don't know how dolphins sleep with half their brain on.”
Sungchan's brows rocketed toward his hairline. “They sleep with half their brain on? Crazy.”
“I know. I can't even stay awake with half my brain on.”
You and he shared a laugh, and he set a palm on the board next to your body. “Aw, no,” he assured. “If you've got less than half a brain on at all times, then I've got one brain cell.”
“Joke's on you, half my brain is half a brain cell.”
He wrinkled his nose at you. Cute. “Sweetheart, hate to break it to you, but that's not how brain cells work.”
You nearly fell off the board. “Okay, Mr. Know-it-all, do tell.”
“I'm not about to talk about neurons on my vacation.”
You challenged him with a look. “Overruled, counselor. Answer the question.”
His mouth fell open in a stunned daze, and his reaction made you break face for a moment to laugh. He blinked. “I have to be really honest with you…” Sungchan carded a hand through his hair, then pressed his knuckles to his mouth. “That was really hot.”
Was it suddenly five degrees warmer out here? 
If blood rushing in your ears was akin to the sound of waves crashing, there must have been one hell of a tsunami in your veins right now. 
You sputtered a laugh. “You need to get out of the sun—”
“I'm sorry I said that aloud,” he grimaced sheepishly. 
“Nurse? Nurse!—” You feigned raising your head up to look around for an imaginary nurse in the middle of the ocean. “Oh, right. You are the nurse.”
He groaned, tilting his head back and playfully punching your shoulder. “You're so—”
“Hot?”
You howled at the sight of his cheekbones blooming the color of ripe watermelon. “I'm kidding; I'm teasing!”
He sighed, smiling despite the pain etched onto his gorgeous features. “Never living that down, am I?”
You shifted your position to laying on your stomach now, your arms folded beneath your chin. Sungchan carefully turned the surfboard so the tip faced him, and you were trapped in his gaze, head-on. “It was cute,” you consoled. 
“So you think I'm cute?” He cocked a brow. 
“And you think I'm hot.”
He flicked water at you. “Aaand, there it is!” 
You laughed again, delighted at the red lingering on his cheeks and the tips of his ears. God, he was fucking gorgeous. 
A beat passed for a second. Something settled between the two of you, a thing you couldn't yet put a name on, but it had been there since last night. Or maybe it had been there longer, festering in the negative space between you until said space could become something of a memory. 
You weren't sure why he was here—why he'd swum out here to meet you when his best friend was back at the beach house, gorging on watermelon and getting his ass handed to him in Mario Kart by his siblings; why he all of a sudden occupied a part of your mind like the tide creeping up the embankment at four in the afternoon. At first, he was far enough for you to settle into a false sense of security; until all of a sudden, there he was, the foamy waves lapping at your feet and his smile the only thing you could see when you closed your eyes. 
His tongue swiped over his lips and he cleared his throat. “So, uh, watermelon?” That was his original reason for coming out here. (He did volunteer, after all.)
You perked up. “Right, sure. Watermelon.”
“Great.” He broke into a smile, but the corners of it were softer, fonder. You could get used to the look of it. 
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There was this saying—the elephant in the room—but here in the cabin living room, it was definitely more of a blue whale. Just completely out of the water, weighing about thirteen tons, the size of twelve school buses… yeah, that sounded about right. 
“GO FISH!” Anton flung his finger across the circle at Jeno with the glee of a kid on Christmas morning. “Suck it!”
Your mom sent an express glare his way. “Anton.”
Your youngest shrunk down sheepishly. “Sorry, eomma.”
The seven of you were settled in the living space this fine evening with a deck of cards. Your parents were on the couches watching the movie on screen and the game before them, while you, your brothers, and Sungchan huddled around the coffee table playing said game. Sunsoaked and weary, it only took one hearty and filling dinner to perk the lot of you right back up like a field of sunflowers.
“This is a stupid game,” Jeno sulked as he examined his hand of cards. 
“You only say that because you're losing,” you pointed out. “Anyways, Jeno, can I have that three?”
Jeno cut you a glare as the rest of the table rolled into fits of laughter. Your smile was cheeky, reaching out to snatch the three Jeno revealed he had during his turn. 
“That's cold,” Sohee snorted. 
Your eyes darted over to Sungchan opposite you. His eyes were glimmering. “Yeah, I didn't know you had so much ruthlessness in you, Yn.”
“Why do you think she's going into law?” Jeno grunted. Though one card less, it meant that he had one less pair in his finished pile. At this rate, you might win and end up with the most pairs. 
“Guys, it's literally just how you play the game.” You nodded over at Sohee. “Sohee, do you have a jack?”
Your younger brother handed it over without ceremony. “Unfortunately.”
“Anton, do you have an ace?”
He shook his head. “Go fish, noona.”
“See?” You said to the rest of the table, but your eyes went to Sungchan's. “The nature of the game.”
They let you off the hook because you didn't plunder everyone of their cards this round. It continued on with Sohee, then Anton, before landing on Sungchan. 
He made a show of considering his cards, a furrow between his brows. He glanced up at you over the rim of his hand and gestured with a curl of his fingers. “I'd like that ace, Yn.”
“Oooh,” Anton giggled. 
Jeno grinned as you extended the ace across the table to Sungchan. “Karma.”
“Thank you—” his fingers grazed against yours as he plucked the card from your grasp, “—very much.”
You pressed your lips into a small smile, nose wrinkling up at him. You had a few cards left to rid yourself of. 
Your dad cleared his throat as he stood up from the couch to bring his empty bowl to the sink. “By the way, are you kids still going into town tomorrow?”
The five of you exchanged brief eye contact with one another. “Yep.”
The idea had come up during dinner after your parents came back. They'd mentioned a variety of activities and little shops to visit that might be fun for you to see, including a hand churned ice cream shop and a port side arcade building. It would just be the five of you going, while your parents would walk down to the beach trails about a mile from the cabin to go hiking. 
In the morning, you and everyone else in the house took your time getting up and ready for the day. Breakfast was taken together at the table before you split off into your separate parties. 
Jeno took the wheel with Sungchan riding shotgun, and you sat in the middle row with Sohee, while Anton occupied the back. You rolled down your window to rest your chin on the fold of your elbow, your sunglasses slipping down the bridge of your nose as you watched the scenery pass by. 
Right in front of you, Sungchan also had his window rolled down with his arm propped on the lowered sill. He chatted animatedly with Jeno about whatever game he and all three of your brothers were playing this morning, but you could feel his gaze go to his side view mirror more than once. 
The ride was an easy, breezy one. 
The main town center bustled with locals and visitors alike in the late morning. Jeno found free parking about a block away, and the five of you walked over as one big group. 
“Ice cream first!” Anton declared with one arm raised toward the sky. 
“I concur,” you chimed in. You lifted your sunglasses up slightly so you could read the town directory easier. “Seems like we're close by.”
Anton nodded in approval. “Onwards, then.”
You and your youngest brother led the way. The idea of ice cream made your mouth water, especially since you could already feel a bead of sweat dribble down your spine. Why was it so goddamn hot?
The shop was a cute, little building with a pink and white striped awning and a large window in the front that gave visitors a front row view into the ice cream churning experience. You snorted as Anton pressed his nose up against the glass, a wide grin splitting his face. 
“You're scaring the workers, dude,” you jested, tugging your brother along. 
Anton scrunched his nose up at you. “You scare me every morning.”
“Just because you're a wimp when I put toner pads on—hey! Do you want ice cream or not?” You cackled as he attempted to flick you square in the forehead. 
Jeno groaned. “Guys, can we please act normal for once?” He asked as he swung the door open for everyone. 
Sungchan beat you to the punchline, slapping his friend on the back while he ducked inside. “That's rich coming from you, man.”
“Hey!” 
The squabble was swiftly swept out of your mind when you stepped foot into the shop. You were nearly knocked over from the potency of the sugary waffle cone scent that occupied the room. At the sight of tubs upon tubs of frozen treats kept within the display case, your entire face lit up, eyes going glassy with wonder. “Oh no, too many to choose from,” you gasped, cupping the lower half of your face. 
Sungchan chuckled beside you as he crossed his arms and assessed the dozen options before you. “I didn't know you were such an ice cream fanatic, party girl,” he mused. He glanced over at you with a fond sort of gleam in his eye. 
“Don't even get her started,” Sohee groaned. “She and Anton have a sweet tooth to rival Willy Wonka.”
Anton flagged down one of the workers, having already found his targets to try. He was in here for less than two minutes and was already rattling off the entire menu to the poor girl behind the counter. 
“Tiramisu sounds really good,” you muttered. Your eyes moved slowly from tub to tub. Another gasp flew from your lips, and you clasped a hand on Sungchan's shoulder. “Wait—but strawberry shortcake—hhhhh.” You wrinkled your brows together, lips pressed into a taut line. 
This was not good. 
“You could always get a double scoop,” Sungchan suggested. 
You bobbed your head. “That's true, but I'm just worried I won't be able to finish, y'know.”
“Well, maybe I'll get one of the flavors you want and we can split.” His shrug was all too casual. 
“Really?”
“Yeah, sure,” he said, biting his lip through a smile. 
The organ in your chest gave a hop, skip, and a leap. You weren't sure if it was at the thought of it all working out alright or if it was because of Sungchan's generous gesture. You were telling yourself it was the former, but you could be persuaded it was the latter if given a light shove in that direction. 
When everyone's scoops were paid for, you fell into a loose formation to stroll around town while you finished your treats. 
You and Sungchan were glued to each other's sides out of necessity since you were sharing flavors. Jeno walked on his other side, however, lapping at his cotton candy blue scoop seated upon a throne of waffle cone. The two youngest walked in front, leading you all to wherever they wished to go. 
The town itself was rather quaint when you finally soaked it in. It seemed like the kind of place everyone knew everyone, and if you were new or only visiting, the locals were just as friendly and welcoming. The town center was stocked with anything a resident might need—a small grocer down the street, clothing stores and restaurants lining the boulevard, a newspaper stand at the corner, a laundromat, a hardware store, and more places you were certain you wouldn't be able to see in just one walk. 
As you scooped a bite out of some of the last bits of tiramisu in Sungchan's cup, Jeno was summoned up to his brothers who were debating over which way they should turn next. You and Sungchan lingered behind to finish off the ice cream in your respective cups. 
Just as you slurped up the melted shortcake ice cream at the bottom of yours, your eyes caught onto a storefront behind Sungchan. It was decked out in cliché boho-chic, with braided nets, shells, and sand dollars in the window and over the door frame. The souvenir shop seemed to embody the quintessential tourist trap, and you didn't mind falling into it. 
“—guys, we're gonna go to the arcade now!” Jeno said, beckoning you and Sungchan over. They must have decided on a route then. 
You made your decision. “You guys can go ahead! I'm gonna pop into this place for a second. I promised I'd get my friend Minjeong something.” Minjeong was one of the few close friends you made at university, and though you didn't promise to her face you'd get her something, you were determined to get her a little trinket as a token of your affection. 
“You're gonna go alone?” 
You blinked. “Yeah, I'll just meet you guys at the arcade.” 
Sohee piped up, “But mom said buddy system.” Okay, you should probably honor that, but it wasn't as if the four of you always followed that rule. 
“I'll go with you.”
All eyes went to Sungchan who tossed his empty cup and spoon into the nearby trash can. He gave a nonchalant lift of his shoulders. “I wanted to get my mom something anyway.”
You tilted your head to the side curiously as Jeno narrowed his eyes at Sungchan, like they were communicating telepathically. Odd. 
In fact, you didn't really know what to think about being alone with Sungchan. There was a difference between coincidentally ending up on the porch together or conversing in the ocean away from everyone else, to purposefully breaking off from the group to spend time with each other. 
Then again, he said he was getting something for his mom. That gave a different implication to him volunteering to accompany you. The goal was capitalism, not something forbidden.
Maybe you were thinking about this too much. 
“Okay, fine,” Jeno relented. “We'll meet you at the arcade, but don't take too long or we'll leave without you.”
“Aye-aye,” you teased, raising a hand to wave goodbye to your brothers. “C'mon, Sungchan.”
You dumped your empty ice cream cup and spoon into the trash before slipping inside the souvenir shop with Sungchan following right after you. You lifted your sunglasses up on top of your head, skin prickling with gooseflesh from the draft of air conditioning wafting overhead. A soft-toned acoustic played in the background, accompanied by the cheery greeting of a staff member from behind the register. 
You and Sungchan lifted your hands in warm reply, then disappeared into the aisles to explore. 
Your fingers grazed along the racks of clothes branded with the beach town's name and minimalist artwork; your eyes roamed over the ships displayed in bottles on the walls, the not-for-sale surfboard hung for decor. Like many souvenir shops, there were several turning displays that boasted rows upon rows of themed keychains with specific names engraved into them. 
“I will never find my name amongst these,” Sungchan mused quietly from beside you as the two of you rifled through the surfboards and seashells and sharks. “And yet, I look for the S names all the time.”
“Valid,” you nodded. “Sometimes I can't find my name either, but it's the hope that gets you.”
“And fails you,” he pointed out.
“Touché.” 
Near the keychain displays stood a tower of hats and head accessories galore. There were crocheted bonnets, straw hats, ball caps, and even headbands. Your expression glittered as you plucked up a headband with twin sunflowers on the top like a pair of antennas. 
After hanging your shades on your shirt color, you donned the headpiece, twirling around to show Sungchan. “Thoughts?” You asked, failing to sweep your grin away. 
Sungchan beamed back at you. “Oh, you're too cute.”
You ignored the heat creeping up the back of your neck to reach for another headband—this time, one topped with red crab claws. Sungchan graciously bowed his head for you to crown him with the piece. 
“Fabulous,” you declared with your hands on your hips. 
He peered into the small mirror to the side of the hat rack. “You think?”
“Of course.” So much so, that you pulled out your phone to snap a picture. You tilted your head toward his to fit both of your faces and headbands in the frame. 
Sungchan peered over your shoulder to take a glimpse at the photos. His tongue was jammed into his cheek, and you could feel his breath along the shell of your ear. “Send me those?”
“I'd need your number first.”
He grinned boyishly, roughing a hand through his hair before taking your phone from you. “You don't even have to ask.”
As he saved his contact information into your phone, you attempted to calm the giddy butterflies in your stomach by peering back into the mirror at the headband on your head. You squished the plush sunflower heads with your fingers, humming thoughtfully. “I low-key wanna buy this.”
He glanced up from your phone before handing it back to you. “If you buy that one, I'll buy this one,” he replied, pointing up at the crab claws on his head. 
“You're such an enabler,” you jested. A beat passed. “Okay, but only if you get it with me.”
“That is what I said,” he chuckled, eyebrows arched. 
The remainder of the time you and Sungchan spent in the shop was mainly to figure out what you would purchase for Minjeong and what Sungchan would buy for his mom. (Mainly, implying that there was still room for shenanigans.) It took a little more than half an hour, but you both emerged from the souvenir shop with a gift bag each, containing your headbands and the baubles bought. 
The arcade was only about a ten minute's walk from your location, so you and Sungchan took your sweet time getting there. As the two of you walked—the backs of your hands grazing against one another, shoulders bumping—you nearly forgot that Sungchan was your brother's good friend. Jeno had never made it a point that you and his friends should never mix, and you knew he could care less about your love life, but this was different. (Was it?) It felt like something that shouldn't happen, and yet, why were you starting to want it so badly?
The outside of the arcade was a cream colored building, much like the others in town, but with large posters on the outside beckoning guests to come in and try their hand. Your brothers texted you to let you know they were in a game of laser tag right now, so that gave you and Sungchan a little more time to yourselves within the arcade. 
“I have an idea!” Sungchan grabbed your free hand and hauled you off toward something in the distance. 
The feeling of your fingers slotting with his had more than just your steps skipping. “Hey, man—you and your long legs need to chill!” You hollered at him through a laugh. 
He sent you a look over his shoulder before stopping at one corner of the arcade. With jazz hands, he presented his marvelous idea. “Ta-da!”
Before you was an all-time classic: Dance Dance Revolution. 
Your eyes widened just as your smile did. “It's like you read my mind,” you marveled. 
The machine was just like the movies with a multicolored screen of bright blues and purples, a platform with two sets of arrows in the floor, and two arched rails at the back for each player to hold onto as they danced the night away. 
Sungchan marched up onto the platform and fished a wadded up paper bill out from his wallet. “Have you played before?”
When the machine devoured his money, the screen leapt to life and blasted its opening music to announce that somebody was willing to step up to the challenge. 
You set your gift bag down at the foot of the platform and climbed up to join him. “I've only seen it done before, but I've always wanted to try it.”
You and he locked eyes, and you were sure the twinkle in his was a reflection of just how excited you were. 
“Well, today is your lucky day, party girl,” he chirped. “Let's see what you've got.”
It didn't take long for you to figure out that “what you've got” was a lot less than whatever Sungchan had. 
You grappled onto the railing behind you tightly as you stomped your feet against the coordinating arrows that flashed on-screen. How long had it been since that fateful first round? Ten minutes? Two days? It was all mashing together. 
“This is unfair; you have longer limbs,” you groaned after missing a few arrows in a row. Why were you so out of breath?
A bead of sweat dribbled down the side of Sungchan's head. It was almost comical how serious you were both taking this game. “I have practice,” he corrected cheekily. 
“Same difference!”
“A master never blames his tools.”
You huffed. “Bullshit.”
At this point, your losses were becoming ridiculous. Desperate times called for desperate measures. 
For a sequence you knew you were going to miss, you leaned over and pinched his side. Sungchan jolted—it did the trick, and he missed the steps. His head whipped over to you, an impish gleam in his irises. 
“Oh ho ho… you wanna play that game?”
You placed your hand on your hip as the round ended. “If I'm gonna lose, might as well go out with a bang.”
His tongue swiped over his lip. “You're on.”
The next round commenced, and adrenaline spiked through you like a spear, more powerful than before. You knew to expect Sungchan's revenge, but you struck first. 
A poke at his side resulted in a tickle at your waist. You returned his parry with a blind poke at his stomach. 
Anticipating his response, you spotted his arm incoming out of your periphery and moved to step out of his reach. Instead of solid platform, however, your breath hitched at the feeling of half your sandal slipping off the edge. 
Sungchan's eyes went wide and his arm instead curled around your waist and hauled you to him. “Shit,” he muttered, “are you okay? Sorry, that was totally my fault.”
Your palms had landed on his chest, your heart rate slowing but not fast enough. All of the excitement in your veins was likely more so from the game itself, and not from almost falling off the platform… and perhaps, another part of it was you realizing just how close you and Sungchan were now. 
You nodded. “Yeah, I'm completely fine; don't even worry about it. And it wasn't your fault—I miscalculated my step and I started it anyway.”
He pressed his lips together. “Still.”
“Nice catch, by the way,” you said quietly. 
You saw his eyes leave your gaze, and this time, you followed in his movements. He ducked his head, almost shyly. “I guess so,” he chuckled. “I'm glad I caught you.”
If anything, your heartbeat was gaining speed again. The hand pressed into your waist was a little more addicting than you would have liked, and his mouth was closer than you thought it had been. 
In the neon glow of the Dance Dance Revolution screen, you and Sungchan leaned toward one another with one aim, and one aim only. 
“Hey guys!” 
You leapt off the dance platform at the same time that Sungchan zipped to his side, gripping the railing with an expression akin to a deer caught in headlights. 
You pressed a hand against your palpitating heart and turned to find all three of your brothers bounding over to where you and Sungchan were. 
“Oh my god,” Anton gasped, “is that DDR?”
It seemed that Anton and Sohee were more focused on the game than yours and Sungchan's compromising position. But Jeno… you noted the suspicious narrowing of his eyes, his arms crossed over his chest…
You swore you and Sungchan swallowed at the same time. 
“Did we interrupt something?” Jeno drawled. 
“Nope!” 
You and Sungchan looked at each other at your simultaneous answer. Great. That definitely wasn't even more conspicuous or anything. 
Jeno pressed his lips together. “Uh-huh,” he said, unconvinced. “Well, Mom and Dad texted and asked for us to meet them at the house, so we've gotta go.” He lifted the screen of his phone up for you to see. Dear god, you hadn't even realized they'd texted the group chat.
You cleared your throat. “Right.” 
You picked up your gift bag, and your younger brothers immediately flanked you on either side to gush about the game of laser tag they had just partaken in. Though you nodded and engaged in their conversation, your mind was elsewhere. 
Plus, it was hard not to be hyper aware of the fact that Sungchan was now alone to face Jeno somewhere behind you. You were not looking forward to the car ride back.
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There were always some, unspoken fine lines that should not be crossed—at least, purposefully. In retrospect, you knew Jeno didn't care about who you chose to spend your time with, as long as they treated you right. In the same vein, you didn't care much about what he thought when it came to your own decisions, and yet, you found yourself caring a little more because this was one of his friends. Not yours. 
But feelings were feelings… and you were slowly coming to terms with yours. 
It was like déjà vu when you crept down the stairs in the dead of night for the second time this vacation. You simply could not bear staring at that wooden ceiling any longer with your mind reeling from this afternoon's events. 
The living room was yet again a cacophony of light snoring, and you crossed the room toward the back door once more. 
You paused again, the sight of Sungchan's back a familiar one. Instead of sitting on the porch steps, though, he leaned against the railing, gazing out at the dark waves. It was yet another calm night out on the embankment, but the moon tonight was hidden away behind a few wisps of cirrus clouds. 
He glanced over his shoulder at you. “Hey.”
“Hey,” you greeted softly, gently closing the door behind you so you could join him at the railing. It was funny how you both were on the same wavelength. Fate had a funny way of encouraging you.
You and he hadn't properly spoken since the arcade, and Jeno hadn't said a word about it to you either. Dinner had gone on normally enough, so you were unsure of where this all stood. 
“I wanted,” Sungchan began, “to talk to you about something.”
You glanced over at him and found his eyes already on you. “Sure, of course.”
He straightened, gesturing to the sandy beach beyond. “Walk with me?”
You nodded and followed him down the porch steps. Your feet met the cool grains of sand, and a sense of calm seeped into your bones from the bottom up. 
A hand outstretched in your vision, uncertain. You clasped your hand in his palm, and the pair of you began to walk. You couldn't recall whether you began to adore the feeling of your hand wrapped up in his earlier or just now. 
“So…” you trailed off. 
“So,” he picked up. “About earlier today. I wanted to, uhm, make sure we were on the same page about something.” 
He stopped you both when you were a good distance from the house, where the waves slipped along the sand louder than the snores. 
“I had a really fun time with you today,” he said. 
You nodded your head in earnest. “I had a great time with you, too.”
He smiled then, hand letting go of yours to drag over his face. “I'm—I’m happy to hear that,” he replied, and you were sure he was trying to hide his growing giddiness. 
You reached over and gently pried his hands away from his face. “Did Jeno talk to you about today? Did he say anything?” Before he could reply, you added, “Because I know he means well, but who I choose to spend my time with is my decision. If he can't handle us together, then he'll have to learn to suck it up.”
“He did say something to me about it,” Sungchan admitted, “but it was just to make sure I wasn't playing around.” With his hands locked in yours, he gave your palms a reassuring squeeze. “And Yn, I'd like to take you out sometime—properly. No playing around.”
No more toeing the line in the sand. 
Your heart rattled violently in your chest. “I'd really like that.”
His expression melted into something tender, like the dark swirls of molten chocolate in the scoop of tiramisu ice cream. His thumb grazed over the back of your hand. “Okay,” he murmured, barely audible over the soft laps of the waves, “good.”
He considered you for a moment longer, teeth digging into his bottom lip. “I also—I did intend on kissing you earlier today, and I probably should have prefaced it, but—mmmh!”
You looped your arms around his neck and pulled his mouth over to yours. He sank into your hold with a content hum, his hands slipping around your waist to tug you closer to him. You'd never really thought about what kissing Jung Sungchan would be like, but you knew that your imagination couldn't have been better than this. 
When you broke apart with your foreheads pressed against each other and sharing breathing air, you let out a small laugh. The sound coaxed a warm chuckle out of your counterpart. 
“Sorry,” you breathed against his lips, “I probably should have asked first.”
He smiled against you. “You can apologize by kissing me again.”
He most certainly didn't have to tell you twice.
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a/n: pls remember to reblog + comment if u enjoyed! (idek if that was good, im off my Game and off my Rocker dkfnrj)
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permanent taglist: @flwoie @vatterie @seomisaho @hqrana @ja4hyvn @outrologist @rikizm @luumiinaa @meosjinn @fluorescentloves @http-gyu @mvvnsseul @kflixnet
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vibinwiththefrogs · 2 months
Text
Cane/Bamboo Adventures Part 1/?
So we just moved into a new house and there's this huge thing in the very back of the yard along a creek that I thought was bamboo, then I thought it was cane, and then after checking as many cane ID posts and videos I could find, I'm still completely unsure. My friend who's a wildlife student says it doesn't look like bamboo to her, but we both agree it doesn't look like the cane we've seen around South Georgia. She said it must be Arundinaria gigantea because no other cane gets this large, but all the cane we've seen identified as A. gigantea doesn't look like this. Here's my notes and some pics.
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First, the leaves are much smaller than cane I've seen around here. Even very small, young cane around here has leaves about the length of my forearm.
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Second, a couple things online I found distinguishing bamboo from cane say that new bamboo branches grow outward, while cane grows more upward. However there seems to be both upward and outward shoots on this bunch (examples of both pictured above). Also worth noting, the picture above on the left is the biggest diameter branch I found. I have relatively small hands for context (I wear small-medium sized gloves).
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Then here's just some more pictures. I crawled down into a creek for the root picture (left)(a steep 7 foot drop haha). The middle picture is the youngest bunch I found, again it doesn't resemble cane I've seen around here. The picture on the right is a further away picture after I cleared some dead branches.
Also worth noting, this is tucked behind a house, between a fence, a creek, and like 3 trees. So it doesn't have a ton of space to grow, and I'm guessing that's why it's so dense.
If anyone happens to know anything about this please let me know! A week or so ago I emailed a guy from NC State and uploaded it on inaturalist, but I haven't received any replies or ID 😭
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