#he's so fucking awkward trying to walk it back too

[egcdeath]

off the beaten path

pairing: patrick zweig x reader

summary: what could go wrong with a non-refundable honeymoon and a broken engagement?

warnings: MATURE (mentions of sex but no sex scenes), exes to lovers, idiots to lovers angst, fluff, there was only one bed MULTIPLE times, jealousy!! (like a lot), slow burn, no use of y/n, so much use of the word fuck, a little toxicity, some facts about landmarks are inaccurate for the plot, lots of arguing and making up, miscommunication, seasickness, patrick & reader kinda have no social awareness, a lot of hotels and buses, alcohol, hurt/comfort, happy ending.

word count: 18.4k

author’s note: this was so much longer than i expected it to be, but i loved writing it so so much and i'm gonna be sad to see this pairing go! also, a special thank you to the tour website whose itinerary i used for their trip. i hope you enjoy!

JFK AIRPORT

You scrolled endlessly on your phone as you sat at your gate, trying your hardest to fight off the combination of sleepiness and anxiety that had been slowly creeping up on you for the past hour.  

You should be happy—excited to spend the next month of your life traveling throughout Europe on the trip that you had dreamt about since you were a child. Instead, you were filled with dread at the prospect of your quickly approaching trip, leaving your leg bouncing and your eyes flitting between the device in your hands and the entrance of the gate, anxiously anticipating the arrival of a man that you really really did not want to see. 

Once it was announced that first class was boarding, you quickly hopped out of your uncomfortable seat, hoping that if you boarded quick enough, you might be able to miss your unwanted companion. As you stood in line, you tried your best to be casual about your endlessly swiveling head and wondered if it was too late to simply call the whole thing off. 

Boarding had gone smoothly enough, and as you settled into your seat, you still hadn’t seen any sign of your former fiancé. For a second, a spark of hope lit up in you. Maybe you’d get to experience Europe without that pest in your ear after all. Maybe you could even arrange a friend to come fly out and be with you for a few days, or find someone to have a romantic summer fling with. 

But just as soon as your hope arrived, it departed with the sound of a familiar voice walking down the aisle and directly towards you.

“They wouldn’t let me switch my seat.”

You couldn’t believe that those were the choice of words the man you’d intended to spend the rest of your life with had decided to start with. After months of radio silence. No apologies, no awkward small talk, no sugar-coated words about your situation, just a complaint about the conditions the two of you would be in for the next eight hours. Classic Patrick. 

“That’s too bad,” you replied, already annoyed by his presence. You had underestimated how much of a challenge this trip was going to be, solely based on the speed at which your negative feelings had come to the surface. 

“Yeah, no shit,” he muttered under his own breath, putting some luggage into the overhead bin above your seats. 

“You’re the one who insisted we still go,” you argued, not wanting him to get the last word—even if his last words were meant to be a snarky comment to himself more than anything else. 

“The hotels, tours, and all the other tickets were non-refundable!” he argued right back to you. 

“So?” you shot back like a petulant child. 

“So I didn’t want to waste your money.”

“Oh, how considerate,” you scoffed sarcastically before beginning once more. “You’re rich! You don’t even have to be here!” 

“Just because my family is comfortable doesn’t mean I want to waste my money.”

You openly rolled your eyes at his words. Comfortable was the understatement of the century. “So you didn’t actually want to waste my money. You didn’t want to waste your own.”

“Why can’t it be both?” he asked, sounding exasperated by your line of thinking. You hated when he did that. You kind of hated most things he did now. Maybe you just hated him. 

“I never said it can’t be both, I just think you should stop trying to act like you’re so charitable for doing me a favor. As if our relationship wasn’t filled with me doing you favors.”

“Do you really want to be having this conversation right now?” he asked. 

“Sorry, you’re right. We have the next thirty-five days to talk about it.”

The two of you sighed in a synchronized breath at the mention of the amount of time you had to spend together. You hated that the two of you were still in rhythm after everything you’d been through. Or maybe you just hated Patrick. 

“Who plans a thirty-five day honeymoon anyway?” he huffed. 

“Us, apparently. I mean, you were all for it, what? A few months ago?”

“Only because you wanted it.

“Oh, how could I forget. The ever-charitable Patrick Zweig. Taking a month-long break from hitting balls to be with me. I’m forever in your debt,” you mocked with a dramatic hand to your forehead. “At this rate, you’re gonna send me a list of all of the nice things you’ve ever done for me. What do you want me to say? Thank you for doing the bare minimum as a boyfriend?”

“Fiancé,” he corrected you, earning a very nasty side eye from you in the process of doing so. 

You were beginning to get dirty looks from your fellow first class passengers, which temporarily shut the both of you up. It was never a good idea to piss off people on a plane. You didn’t want to end up on the no-fly list just because you couldn’t bite your tongue around your ex. 

“Remember when you said we could still be friends after this?” Patrick spoke once more after your moment of silence. 

“Of course I remember, but you stopped that from happening when you…” your voice trailed off as you made eye contact with a very displeased looking middle aged woman “Whatever. Let’s just… try to get through this flight. And try not to make any more of a scene.”

“Fine,” he replied, shrugging in your peripheral vision. 

“Fine,” you said back, not wanting him to have the last word.

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“That thing where you think you win every argument just because you said the last thing.”

“I’m not doing that,” you lied. “You think you know me so well.”

A familiar agitated smile broke out on his face, something that you unfortunately missed seeing. “I do know you well, though. I see right through you.”

“You actually don’t, though.”

“I do,” he insisted, the smirk creeping onto his face telling you that he knew you were actively proving his point. 

“Not really,” you dismissed and attempted to casually pull the headphones that were currently sitting on your neck up to cover your ears. You were always grateful to have noise-canceling headphones when you were traveling, but they were coming particularly in handy for you to win this argument. You tried to hide your self-satisfied smirk as you pressed play on your phone, but you could instantly tell that you were failing. 

When you looked back up, Patrick was clearly saying words to you that you weren’t able to hear. Knowing him, he was probably saying something along the lines of, “Real mature.” 

The truth was that he wanted the last word more than you did–which made it particularly rewarding when you gestured to your headphones before throwing your hands out in a shrug to indicate to him that you couldn’t hear him.

Your vacation was already off to a chaotic start. You couldn’t help but fear what the next thirty-five days would be like. 

BARCELONA, SPAIN

Despite the flight only being eight hours long, you were absolutely exhausted by the time that you checked into your hotel room. So exhausted that you failed to remember to request to switch rooms to one with two beds rather than one.

This predicament only came to the forefront of your mind once you and Patrick had already swiped into the room, suitcases lying on the floor and one king-sized mattress presented in front of you. 

“Should I go back down to the front desk?” he asked as he looked from you to the bed. 

“I’m too tired to get a new room,” you replied. You could handle one night next to your ex. You’d slept in a bed together for years. Granted, during those years you were also sleeping together, but this wasn’t all that different. 

“Fine. Don’t complain if I hog blankets, then.”

“Fine,” you replied. “Just stay on your side of the bed.”

You shucked your backpack from your shoulders and walked over to what was typically the side of the bed where you slept when the two of you had been a couple. Not wasting any time to get ready for bed, you began to take off your clothes and search for your pajamas. Once you glanced over your shoulder, you were quite displeased to find Patrick rather openly ogling at you. 

“Stop looking at me,” you demanded.

“What? It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.” He said with a smirk. 

“You’re such a creep,” you muttered, throwing on an old shirt and crawling into bed. 

As you laid in bed and texted your friends and family that you’d arrived at your hotel safely, you took a peek of your own at your former partner as he got ready for bed. He seemed to be going with his classic bedtime attire of just boxers. Bold move. 

Your eyes were momentarily stuck on his abs and enticing happy trail. You’d planned your trip during Patrick’s off season while he was training for his upcoming season, so you were pleasantly unsurprised that he was in such good shape. Your breath caught for a second as you thought about the rest of him, and you desperately tried to repress the low, fiery feeling rising in your stomach. 

“And I’m the creep?” he asked with a laugh, pulling you away from your objectification as he got into bed next to you. 

“Yeah,” you replied, as if you hadn’t just given him the same treatment he’d given you. 

“Well… like what you see?”

You scoffed at his audacity, though you did like what you saw. “I’m not fucking you. Goodnight.”

You hit the light on your nightstand and you swore you heard a quiet sound of disappointment come from Patrick. Bastard.

You turned your back to him and closed your eyes, finding that sleep took you under surprisingly easily.

When you woke up in the morning, you were greeted by a far too familiar feeling. Despite your request for Patrick to stay on his side of the bed, the slow, steady breaths being breathed into your ear and the solid wall of body behind you indicated that he had not only traveled into your space over the course of the night, but was actively spooning you. 

You were shocked to find that you didn’t necessarily mind it. Yes, you were mad at Patrick for everything that had gone down between you, and because he was such a pain in the ass, but you also hadn’t realized just how much you missed being held. Particularly, how much you missed being held by him. 

The more alert you became, the more you realized that you couldn’t really move. Despite that, you found that you didn’t really want to move. Sure, you were beginning to get uncomfortably hot, and yes, you could feel Patrick’s morning wood pressing against your ass, but none of it was particularly unpleasant. 

Part of you wondered if your trip would go differently than you expected. Regardless of how you acted towards one another, you clearly both missed each other. 

Your shrill phone alarm suddenly went off, startling Patrick awake behind you. 

“Mmm, fuck, sorry,” he sleepily slurred as he rolled away from you. You turned over to look at his tired face, eyes still lidded and speckled face looking far softer than you remembered. 

Out of the blue, he opened his eyes, catching you in the act of looking at him with barely-concealed affection. Before he could make some sort of snarky comment, he shot out of bed, adjusted his boxers, and made an urgent beeline towards the bathroom. All of which would’ve been far funnier if his actions hadn’t been disrupted by the loud message ping of his cellphone. 

You weighed out your options. You were curious about what was waiting for him on his phone, but you weren’t sure that you’d have time to properly snoop. As if the universe was listening to your thoughts, the sound of the shower began, telling you that you had all the time that you needed to do some adequate investigation. 

You wondered who was texting Patrick so early in the morning. Knowing him, it was probably his mother, checking in to make sure he made it to his destination safely. You were sure that whatever message she left would also be inquiring about you. She’d always had a bit of a soft spot for you, especially compared to some of the other people that Patrick had brought home. That, of course, was an observation shared to you from Patrick, so you couldn’t be sure how much of it was flattery compared to truth. 

Regardless, her fondness for you had carried into the end of your relationship, with her occasionally messaging or calling you to make sure that you were still doing well, and more importantly, to check in on the status of your relationship. 

Much like you and your friends, she’d been holding out hope that your relationship may repair itself. With you and Patrick being as passionate as the two of you were, you were no strangers to seemingly serious arguments that resolved themselves in a matter of days. While calling off a wedding was far more drastic than any of your other disputes had been, after being together for years, it was hard to imagine a world where the two of you weren’t a couple. 

But his call never came. You didn’t hear an apology or explanation or even an excuse from Patrick—just a suggestion of when you should pick up the items you’d left at his place.

You hated to admit it, but there was a naïve part of you that was still holding out hope that this trip would be exactly what you needed to reconcile. And maybe that naïeve part of you was less delusional than you might’ve originally thought. Surely cuddling into the morning and Patrick’s poorly hidden morning wood were signs that this vacation was already going in the right direction. Maybe being in such close proximity was exactly the push you needed to get your relationship back on track. 

After a halfhearted internal debate, you grabbed his phone from the night stand on his side of the bed. Attempting the passcode he’d been using while you were together—the digits of your birthday—you were pleased to find that the password hadn’t changed and that you were granted access into his phone. What you weren’t expecting to see was Tinder on the homepage of his cracked device. 

You paused for a moment and attempted to reason with yourself. Your former fiancé probably didn’t even use the app. He’d likely been pressured by his rebound-obsessed friends to download it, and hadn’t even opened the app since setting up his profile. Besides, you didn’t get on his phone to see what new apps he’d downloaded, you were snooping to see what his mom had to say about you. 

When you opened his messages app, your mouth promptly fell open in shock. Patrick had always been loyal to you—at least to your knowledge—while the two of you were together. Seeing him be so openly flirtatious and suggestive with an attractive woman that you hadn’t ever heard of was more than jarring. 

Your stomach churned as you scrolled through the conversation, flirty messages and images from both sides that left little to the imagination disturbing you in a way that you hadn’t ever realized was possible. 

In the midst of your distraught state, you nearly missed the background noise of the shower coming to a halt, informing you that your time snooping had come to an end. 

You set his phone back down where you’d found it and desperately tried to push down the bile in your throat that was tasting more and more like jealousy and anger by the second. 

You knew it was irrational for you to be feeling this way, considering that the two of you had been broken up for a few months. Nothing legally or morally tied the two of you together anymore, but that didn’t make you feel any less unsettled by what you’d just seen. 

It was just that… you weren’t sure you’d ever be able to fully move on from Patrick. He’d been part of your life for so long, and the way things ended had been so abrupt that it almost didn’t feel real. Even if you did move on, it was going to take you more than three months to do so. It wasn’t fair that Patrick’s name seemed to pop up every week in your therapy sessions, while he was sending pictures of himself in gray sweatpants to random hot women. 

You wanted to shrink into the mattress and never come back up. You wanted to yell at Patrick the moment he stepped out of the bathroom. You wanted to turn on your side and wail dramatically, at least until all of your big feelings felt a little smaller. 

But you were in Europe on vacation. You were on vacation, damnit, and you weren’t going to let one mildly disturbing text thread ruin your entire experience. Better yet, if Patrick was already moving on, there was no reason that you shouldn’t do the same.

You told yourself this as you rolled out of bed and dug in your suitcase, pulling out a sundress that had driven Patrick wild in the past. While you may have packed it with less than realistic expectations, your goal was far more grounded now. 

Both of you could play this game. 

You stepped out of the bathroom fully dressed after a shower of your own and instantly registered the almost cartoonish look he was giving you. You guessed that some things never changed, even when the two of you had decided to actively pursue other people. 

“The tour guide said to meet in the lobby soon, so I’m gonna head down,” you explained, not giving him a second look as you began to search for your purse. 

“The tour doesn’t start for another half hour?” he replied, sitting up from where he was laying on the bed. 

“Well I wanna socialize with the people we’re gonna be traveling through Europe with,” you said a little snappily, still a little perturbed about what you’d found on his phone earlier. You conveniently left out the fact that you wanted to scope out any potential summer flings. 

“I’ll come with you,” he insisted.

“You really don’t have to. Remember, this isn’t actually a honeymoon,” you slipped on some comfortable shoes and headed to the door. “I’ll see you around.”

You were probably being far more rude than you really needed to be, but your anger had only intensified as you showered and put on makeup. At this point, you were fully pissed—even if you didn’t have the right to be. 

You made small talk with the people you met in the lobby as they began to filter into the room, and tried your absolute best to dispel the anger that was flowing through your veins. That proved harder than you anticipated, as Patrick was one of the last people to join you all in the lobby, and for the life of you, you couldn’t stop imagining him sitting in your shared hotel room and sexting his mystery girl. 

Luckily, you couldn’t dwell on that ugly thought for too long, as your tour began soon after. Your friendly guide took your group around the city, explaining rather riveting information about the landmarks you visited and the city itself.

After being dismissed for a quick break, you found yourself sitting on a bench and chatting with a man in your group. He wasn’t really your type, but he was extremely conventionally attractive, and from the peripheral glances you caught of Patrick, you could tell that he wasn’t exactly pleased with what was going on.

While making him jealous, or annoyed, or whatever it was that he was feeling, wasn’t your expressed goal, it did feel nice to give him a taste of his own medicine. What felt less nice was glancing over and catching him typing on his phone furiously. You could only imagine whose boobs were on the other end of the line. 

Reacting out of a bit of desperation and frustration, you began to play things up. You leaned over more to show off more cleavage, laughed a little harder at jokes that weren’t all that funny, and set a scandalous hand on his arm. You were determined to have that vacation fling now, and you were going to get it by any means necessary. 

You laid it on thick for the rest of the afternoon, sitting next to him during lunch and flirting casually with him as your group walked through Park Güell. 

You wondered if he noticed you throwing glances in Patrick’s direction after every interaction. You hoped that he didn’t. 

It felt good to be getting even with Patrick—but not as good as you expected it to feel. The realization sunk in as a portion of your group visited a bar that was apparently very popular with the locals. Or at least, that’s what a very handsome man purred into your ear after sitting down next to you at the bar.

You’d been keeping an eye on Patrick as he socialized with a couple that he’d been talking to for the majority of your day, but you almost instantly lost track of him as you became consumed with this handsome stranger. 

Everything happened in a bit of a blur—one moment you’d been nursing a Marianito, and the next you were holding the hand of a man whose name you couldn’t remember as he led you to his apartment. 

By the time you’d left his apartment, you were nothing short of a mess. You were pretty sure that the only way you could’ve been more obvious about what had just happened to you was if you had the words “JUST HAD SEX” written across your forehead—and with the way the people in your hotel elevator were looking at you, you couldn’t be completely sure that those words weren’t on your face. 

You made it back to your room safely, quietly opening the door and doing your best not to make too much noise, since at this hour, Patrick was surely asleep. 

It did feel weird to be going back to his bed less than an hour after you’d been with another man, but you couldn’t necessarily say you felt bad. Patrick had started it, and you simply finished it off. If he didn’t have any issues with seeing other people, there was no reason for you to have an issue with it either. 

Your efforts to be quiet had proved themselves to be for naught, as Patrick was very clearly wide awake, sitting up in bed and already looking at you disapprovingly. 

You weren’t sure what possessed you to speak, rather than ignoring his presence and heading straight to the shower, but your mouth was open before you could stop yourself. 

“Were you just gonna wait here until I got back, like I’m a kid who just snuck out or something?” you asked in disbelief, partially annoyed because of his action, but more ashamed to have been caught in such a state. It couldn’t have been more obvious to Patrick what you’d just done, considering that he’d seen you in a similar state hundreds of times. 

“Baby, we are on a whole different, unfamiliar continent,” his tone was condescending and cold and it made you want to crawl out of your skin. “Why wouldn’t I wait to make sure you got back safely?”

“Don’t call me pet names. And I would’ve been fine. We were just at the bar,” you lied. Going to the apartment of a random man you just met probably wasn’t your brightest idea, but you made it out alive, and that was what mattered. 

“Huh. The bar?” he smirked at you in a way that screamed that he was pissed, without really having to say a word. 

“Yes, I- what does it matter to you anyway?” you hoped that the question would be enough to get you out of the situation. If you were going to argue, you at least wanted to argue after you were showered and in pajamas.

“What does it matter to me if you fucked someone else?” he asked, sounding like he was in complete disbelief. 

“Yeah, Patrick. Why does it matter if I fucked someone else? We’re not together anymore. Did you forget? I mean, it seemed pretty obvious to you when you stopped speaking to me completely a few months ago.”

“Please, enlighten me. What did I have to speak to you about?” 

“I don’t know! Maybe an ‘are you okay?’ would’ve been nice. Or something. Anything, really. We were together for six fucking years and you just dropped me like I was dirt!”

“I…” he trailed off, catching you by surprise. He almost always had a quick clever response that managed to piss you off in a way no one else ever could, so seeing him not knowing what to say next caught you off guard. “If our relationship meant that much to you, why were you all over that guy? I mean, seriously. I’ve never seen anything so desperate. You were practically rubbing yourself on him in the park like a bitch in heat.”

Contempt dripped from his words. You had never been so enraged.

“Are you joking?” you laughed out of sheer anger. “Patrick, you started it! How many Tinder girls have you seen since we broke up? And don’t you dare fucking lie to me. I saw everything you’ve been sending to Amelia. Amelia, I’m so lonely. Amelia, I’m so horny. Amelia, I love you so much,” you mocked.

“You went through my phone?” he asked in disbelief, not even bothering to address the rest of your statement. “Fuck. You’re unbelievable.”

“I’m unbelievable? How long did it even take you before we split for you to start seeing other people? I mean, knowing you, you were probably just waiting for the day we broke up to go get your dick wet.”

“That’s not true, and you know it,” for a second, he looked genuinely wounded—something you were only able to recognize after years of being in a relationship with the man. You didn’t like that you were actively hurting him, but he’d been inflicting pain on you from the moment you broke up.

“Fine,” you conceded on that front, knowing that he was right. It wasn’t completely true. If you hadn’t gone through his phone, you never would’ve guessed that he had already moved on. “But you’ve still been seeing other people.”

“We’ve been broken up for months now,” he replied, as if that was supposed to make things any better or more reasonable. 

“Then why do you care so much about me having sex with someone else? It’s fine when you do it, but suddenly it’s an issue for me?” 

Patrick’s face immediately paled. “You really fucked him?”

“Well, yeah,” you paused. “Well, not who you’re thinking of.”

“You fucked someone else?!” The hurt and disbelief buried under his words made your stomach churn. “You were flirting with that other douchebag all day, I don’t-“

“You’re acting like I’m some whore for reacting to something that you did first!” you cut him off. 

“And you’re acting like I wanted to get rid of you this whole time!” he shot back out at you. 

“Clearly you fucking did,” you hissed. 

“Fuck you,” he huffed. 

“Fuck you,” you shot right back. “I’m leaving.”

“Good,” Patrick replied with a shrug as if he didn’t care, although you were very sure that he cared. “Go run back to your little fuck buddy.”

“Yeah, maybe I will,” you replied as you gathered your items back into your suitcase. “He was better than you, by the way.”

“Yeah, I bet,” he said snarkily as he watched you pack up your items. Luckily, you didn’t have much to pack up and were already heading towards the door. 

“He had a bigger dick, too,” you said as you swung open the hotel room door, fully satisfied with a lie that you knew would bother Patrick. 

While leaving your hotel room seemed like a wonderful idea in the moment, as you went down the elevator, you started to realize that you really did not have many options for where you’d sleep that night. 

You figured your best bet was the hotel lobby. Maybe you could pretend to be someone who’d drank too much and passed out on the first floor before you made it up to your room. You sat down in a comfortable looking chair and grabbed your keycard—in case anyone asked you to verify who you were—then set a floppy hat on your head to cover your face from the bright hotel lobby lights while you attempted to sleep. 

Sleep was already going to be difficult to accomplish, thanks to the argument that you were certainly going to be ruminating on for days to come. That was only made more difficult by the uncomfortable seating and position you’d found yourself in. Somehow, you managed to fall asleep, being woken up by a hotel employee and a friend you’d made from your tour group.

“Long night, huh?” she asked you with a playful smirk. 

“Mm, something like that,” you mumbled sleepily. 

“Well, you can sleep on the coach. It just got here, so we’ll have the best pick of seats. C’mon,” she extended her hand out to you and you gladly took it, in desperate need of something grounding. 

You dozed off on the coach once you’d gotten settled, headphones securely on your ears and sunglasses covering your closed eyes. You were vaguely aware of people boarding the vehicle around you, but didn’t pay much mind to anything. Eventually, you heard the faint sound of someone taking attendance of the people on the bus, followed by the commotion of someone getting on the bus late. 

Something compelled you to open up your eyes, and when you did, you were displeased to find that Patrick was the source of all of the drama. Likely thing for him to be. He scrambled down the aisle, looking desperately for empty seats. To your own horror, you realized that the seat next to you was vacant, and perhaps the only vacant seat on the entire coach. 

As if your minds were connected, you watched Patrick face that very same dilemma as he eventually decided to sit down in the only empty seat, right next to you. 

Neither of you said anything at first, not addressing your blowout argument the previous night, or your awkward current situation. 

“You look like shit,” Patrick finally said as the bus took off. 

“Thanks,” you replied, mentally preparing yourself for a continuation of the argument you’d had just a few hours ago. It was only a matter of time before he brought up your promiscuity or started blatantly texting his Tinderella. 

But none of that ever came. In fact, he just looked a little sad. It was weird to see Patrick so openly defeated. He was always one to put on a smirk or a challenging smile when you argued, letting the façade fall once he was alone, or once the two of you finally discussed what the issue was like adults.

You weren’t sure that you liked it. You preferred annoying asshole Patrick to sad, moping Patrick. 

“You look like shit, too,” you added. “Which is crazy, since you had access to a shower and I didn’t.”

“And whose fault is that?” he asked, looking at you with the slightest hint of that devious smile. You had to fight the slightest inkling of a smile on your own face. 

You felt ridiculous knowing that your mood was still being influenced by your former partner. Even when he was insulting you. Even after he’d spent the night arguing with you. Even after you’d slept with someone else. Even after the two of you had a messy split. 

You still loved him. 

“Yours, mostly,” you shrugged and put your headphones back on. 

PARIS, FRANCE

Despite your brief conversation on the bus, you and Patrick didn’t speak to each other for the entirety of your commute. Although you clearly cared about him, it didn’t change the fact that he had upset and hurt you deeply. And even as upset as you were, you knew that you’d hurt him just as badly. 

You had a particular dread for what awaited you in France, knowing that this part of the tour was very couples-activity heavy. When you’d scheduled your trip, this aspect of the tour felt like a major selling point. The two of you always seemed to be falling more in love with each other, and having a candlelit dinner by the Eiffel Tower felt like an exciting way to kick off your marriage. 

Now, you just felt like an idiot.

The two of you did your absolute best to avoid getting paired up with each other for all of the activities that you could. You found yourself spending most of your time with a solo traveler who was close in age to you. She made a surprisingly fun companion to your cheese and wine taste test, popping cubes of fragrant cheese into your mouth and making a competition out of who could detect the most accurate notes in your wine. 

While you found luck in your first few activities, you weren’t so lucky when it came to an evening ride of the Roue de Paris. Whether it was fate or just bad luck, after the pair in front of you had dipped out of line for reasons unknown to you, you had the shocking realization that Patrick had been in between them the whole time. So much for meeting new people on the massive ferris wheel. 

You tried to look busy so he wouldn’t notice that you noticed, and did your best to think of some sort of game plan. Although you’d essentially been giving each other the silent treatment in the hours leading up to this moment, you’d caught Patrick looking at you multiple times throughout the day—something you only noticed because you’d been looking at him as well. 

After a moment, the two of you were let into an empty passenger car. Sitting across from one another, it was hard to ignore the very obvious elephants in the room, but that didn’t mean you wouldn’t try. 

At first, you simply looked out the window, not saying a single word as the ferris wheel began to move. 

“You should put that safety belt on, just in case,” Patrick commented from his side of the car, pulling his eyes away from the window to look at you. 

“I doubt anything will happen,” you shrugged. “It’s fine.”

He eyed you suspiciously for a moment, before leaning over and strapping you in anyway. Your breath caught in your throat, his simple action putting you into serious psychological pain. It wasn’t lost on you how much Patrick liked to take care of you. It was far more obvious when the two of you were dating, with him covering the bills for dates and doing your laundry for you. It had been so ironic to you at the time, how a man who could barely take care of himself always went out of his way to make sure that you were going to be okay. 

Now, his small act of kindness just made your stomach turn. But it wasn’t like you could express any of those feelings. 

“Thanks,” was all that you managed before looking out of the window once more. 

An awkward, heavy silence filled the passenger car once more as the ride began to take the two of you higher. 

“The view is so beautiful,” you commented, unable to remain silent anymore and hoping that your words were neutral enough not to stir any pots. 

“Yeah, it’s really nice,” his gaze remained fixed out the window, before he looked at you once more as if there were words on the tip of his tongue. 

“I honestly don’t know how we managed to get in line in time to see the sunset,” you continued with your boring, neutral small talk. 

“I’m glad we did. This is the perfect spot to watch it.”

“Yeah,” you agreed, continuing to look out the window instead of at the man across from you. “It’s so pretty tonight, too.”

“It is,” he agreed. 

The two of you sat in silence again, only the sound of a soft whirring filling your ears. Then suddenly, all at once, the whirring stopped—and so did your passenger car. 

“Are we stuck?” you asked, looking out nervously at the very tall height that the two of you were currently definitely stuck at. 

“We can’t be. It’ll probably start back up in a second.”

It didn’t start back up in a second. In fact, after a series of announcements in French, an announcement in English suddenly declared that it would be at least an hour before the ride could be fixed. 

At the sound of the announcement, both you and Patrick sighed aloud, still synchronized even after everything you’d been through. 

“Maybe this is a sign,” Patrick piped up. 

“What are you talking about?” you laughed at him, hoping desperately that this didn’t mean that he wanted to continue arguing with you. You genuinely did not have it in you to do so again. You also didn’t have it in you to sleep in another hotel lobby. 

“Well, I’ve been wanting to talk to you all day,” he confessed. 

“Is that why you were staring at me all day?” you teased, a weak, slightly hopeful smile creeping onto your face. 

“I was looking at you because I could feel you staring at me,” he clarified, as if he was setting the record straight. “I don’t want things to be like this between us anymore.”

“Yeah?” you asked, the pit of nerves in your stomach tightening at wherever he was going with his spiel. The anticipation of his words alone made you nauseous. 

“So I think that we should talk about last night,” he suggested. 

That was exactly what you didn’t want to hear him say. You had barely processed the argument yourself, let alone think about anything else that you had to say to Patrick that didn’t involve trying to hurt him as much as he hurt you. 

“We don’t have to. It’s fine. The past is in the past,” you dismissed. 

“It’s not fine, though. Not really,” he countered, all earnestness. You didn’t detect any harshness to his words or any blood in the water that indicated to you that he wanted to do anything more than have an honest conversation with you. “I was so out of line. I can’t- I don’t want you to think that I really believe the things I said about you.”

“Patrick, please…” you trailed off, hoping that he would understand that you didn’t really want to talk about this. Though, you were relieved to learn that he’d only said those things out of the heat of the moment. 

“No,” he stood his ground. “We need to talk about this if we ever want our relationship to improve.”

“Fine,” you gave in. “But you start, so I can collect my thoughts.”

“Of course,” he leaned forward so he could get a better look at you, and you were immediately drawn into some intense eye contact with him. “I’m sorry for acting like a dick yesterday. I shouldn’t have treated you the way I did, and I really shouldn’t have let you leave our hotel room. That was really stupid of me. I worried about you for the rest of the night and spent the morning looking for you.”

This was surprising information to you. While you did find it to be a bit of a dick move that Patrick would just let you leave like that after lecturing you about being unsafe in a new country, you hadn’t realized that he’d been late to boarding the coach because he’d been searching for you. You could only imagine the sick feeling he had as he realized he couldn’t find you anywhere. 

“I’m sorry for what I said, too. Insulting you for trying to move on was really unfair of me. I was just… hurt, I guess. When I don’t even have the right to be.”

“You do, a little. We were together for a really long time, so it’s gonna feel weird that we’re starting to see other people,” you shrugged. “That was an excellent apology, that I accept, by the way.”

“Thank you. I really got a chance to practice my apology skills with the last woman I was with,” he explained. You tried to repress the feeling of jealousy that was already bubbling up in your stomach at the mention of another woman. 

“Yeah?” you asked, hoping that he didn’t notice the brief twitch of your eye.

“Yeah. She’s super opinionated and outspoken, so we would butt heads a lot. But that was always something I really liked about her. That, and her magnificent ass.”

Finally, it occurred to you that he was talking about you. You rolled your eyes and shook your head, despite the fact that you were secretly very flattered by the way he was speaking about you. “Ew. Shut up,” you laughed. 

“Well, if you’re done objectifying me, I would love to apologize to you too.”

“All done objectifying you. For now, at least. Go ahead.”

You were a little nervous about the words that were about to come out of your mouth. You just had so much to say, and you weren’t sure that it was all going to come out correctly. 

“I’m sorry for the things I said last night. I genuinely did not mean what I said, I just got caught up in the moment. And I’m really sorry for going through your phone, because that’s seriously none of my business. It was such an unnecessary violation of trust, and I understand if you’re still pissed at me for that. And it was really ridiculous for me to overreact the way that I did over you seeing someone else, because again, it’s really not my business. I feel like I’m kinda the worst,” you confessed. 

“You’re not the worst,” he countered. 

“Fine, I guess. Maybe you just bring the worst out in me,” you joked, trying to lighten the mood slightly. 

“That sounds more accurate. We bring out the worst in each other.”

“Right. That’s why we’re such a good pair,” you paused, then corrected yourself. “Of friends.”

“Is that what we are now?”

“I never said we were good friends.”

“Frenemies?”

“Something like that,” you said, before the familiar whirring sound of the ferris wheel began once more. 

“Huh. Who would’ve thought that the only thing the wheel needed to function was an apology to each other?”

“You’re so annoying,” you laughed and shook your head. “How are we gonna make it through the rest of this trip?”

LONDON, ENGLAND

Your final few days in France had been made far less awkward by your conversation on the ferris wheel. Deciding to fully embrace the couples activities the tour had reserved for you, the two of you were having a good time re-establishing your friendship. 

Your trip to London had gone mostly without a hitch, with your group arriving in the city in the evening and immediately checking in to your hotel. At this point, you had given up on even attempting to get separate beds. It seemed like every morning now you woke up cuddling with Patrick, but you weren’t necessarily mad at the unintentional intimacy. 

In some ways, your relationship was beginning to feel similar to how it felt before the two of you broke up. While you were sure that things wouldn’t be exactly the same—especially since you still hadn’t addressed the elephant in the room that was your breakup—it was nice to return to the comfort you’d found in your relationship with Patrick. 

Like clockwork, the morning after your arrival in London, you woke up with Patrick pressed up against your back, nose buried in your hair. As he woke up, he pressed a gentle kiss to your hairline out of what you were sure was just habit rather than genuine affection. 

“Morning,” he greeted you groggily, rolling away from your side. 

“Morning,” you replied, turning to face him. You ran a hand through his messy morning hair and looked at him fondly. It was taking far more self control than you had to not lean over and kiss him. “What time is it?” you asked, in part to distract yourself, but also because the digital clock was on his side of the bed. 

“It’s…” he trailed off as he went to read the time. “Oh shit, we’re gonna be late.”

“What?” you asked, shooting up from your relaxed position. 

“It’s 8:25,” he explained, already rolling out of bed. 

In a rush, the two of you got dressed in record time, making it down to the lobby in the five minutes that you had to make it on time. You shared a high-five in the lobby, and tried your best not to dwell on how the simple action felt far more domestic than it needed to. 

Your tour began not too long after that, getting your day off to a strong start. Your day of exploring London was by far your busiest. You were sure that you’d accumulated thousands of steps as you went between large museums, beautiful parks, and massive landmarks. By the time that you returned to your hotel room, you were pretty sure that your legs were mush. 

You returned earlier than Patrick, who had gone out to a gastropub with a group of tourists in your group that he got along well with. You took this as an opportunity to have some alone time, taking a long and steaming hot shower, frolicking around the room in a soft hotel robe, and watching a movie while you waited for your room service to arrive. 

After you’d thoroughly enjoyed your alone time, finishing off your room service and opting to scroll on your phone, the door cracked open and Patrick strolled in. 

“Looks like you made yourself right at home,” he observed. 

“I had to after today’s tour. So much walking,” you groaned. 

“It wasn’t all that bad,” he shrugged, sitting down next to you in bed. 

“Well, not all of us are professional athletes,” you laughed. “How was the pub?”

“Fun. It’d be better if you came.”

“I’m sorry, I was exhausted,” you sighed. “You could’ve stayed in with me and had a spa day.”

“We can have a spa day anywhere. We can have a spa day right now.”

“Mm, I’m all spa’d out. But the water pressure in the shower is excellent, so you should definitely check that out.”

“I will in a little bit,” he said. “Did you try out the actual spa here?”

“They were closed when I checked, which really sucks, since I was in desperate need of a massage.”

“Do you still want one?” Patrick asked. 

“Yeah. I’ll probably try to stop by when they’re open tomorrow and get one.”

“No, I mean, do you want a massage now?” he added. 

It had been a long time since Patrick had offered you a massage—or to put his hands on you in any capacity—but you remembered him being criminally talented at giving them. You also remembered his massages usually making for great foreplay that left your knees weak and your brain a pile of jelly, but that clearly wouldn’t be the case now, and you needed to get your head out of the gutter. 

“I mean, sure. That would be nice,” you tried not to sound too excited, though the prospect of a massage from him sounded very, very nice. 

While the prospect of a massage sounded nice, the actual massage was heavenly. You were sure that years of having personal trainers and physical therapists work knots out of his body had made him an expert at finding knots and kinks in your own, which was now leaving you sighing happily as he ran his hands over your back. 

You tried your best to ignore the dull, fiery feeling growing in your lower stomach that was surely a result of experiencing a type of intimacy that you hadn’t in quite some time. As you let out an involuntary soft sound at a particular knot being rubbed out of your shoulder, you wondered if this massage was affecting him nearly as much as it was affecting you.

You promptly received an answer to this question when something hard and phallic brushed up against your leg. You turned your head to glance back at Patrick, and his face immediately grew red. 

“Sorry. I can stop, if you want. It just happened because of the noises you’re making and- whatever. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Part of you felt a little satisfied knowing that you still had that type of impact on him. It gave you a tiny glimmer of hope to know that you were still, at the least, physically attracted to one another. 

“It’s fine. I’ll shut up.”

“You don’t have to. I want this to be as relaxing as possible for you.”

“Well you’re doing a great job, if you couldn’t tell from all of the moaning and groaning on my end.”

You both somehow made it through the rest of the massage without spilling all over the bed, but as you melted into the bed, feeling every muscle in your body relaxed from your excellent massage, you couldn’t help but note the suspiciously long time Patrick was spending in the shower. And maybe it was just your imagination, but if you listened hard enough, you swore you could hear the sound of a soft chanting of your name coming from the other side of the bathroom door. 

While part of you regretted not suggesting that the two of you help each other out with your mutual problems, you were pretty sure that it was for the best. You genuinely didn’t know where the two of you stood, as far as your relationship went. Hooking up would surely further complicate an already complicated situation, since you were pretty sure that ex-fiancés didn’t typically sleep together. But then again, ex-fiancés also didn’t usually go on a honeymoon despite not being together. Your complicated feelings on the matter only further proved to you that you made the right choice by not giving in to your baser desires. 

By the time Patrick joined you in bed, you were already half asleep. Yet, even in your delirious state, you didn’t miss the way he came up behind you, pulling you into a loving embrace. It brought warmth to your chest to know that he couldn’t even wait for your automatic sleep routine to hold you, and that he felt the need to take matters into his own hands. 

You were pretty sure that exes didn’t do that either. 

AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS 

You didn’t know what you expected from your first ferry ride, but being face deep in a barf bag while soothing circles were rubbed into your back was certainly not it. 

Given that you weren’t a frequent rider of large vessels on bodies of water, you had no clue going into the ride that things would go so sideways so quickly for you. If anything, you thought you might have the opportunity to stare peacefully out into the water, or to force Patrick to take a few cute pictures of you. Unfortunately, you were currently doing neither of those things—and it didn’t seem like you’d be doing them any time soon. 

You heaved once more, now almost totally sure that you had nothing left to give. Patrick continued to hold your hair out of your face with one hand and use his other to comfortingly rub your back, not at all fazed by your sickness. If you weren’t currently fighting off another wave of nausea and didn’t have the taste of bile lingering in your mouth, you probably could’ve kissed the man. 

Once your brain finally told you the coast was clear, you leaned your head back and took several deep, gasping breaths of air. 

“You alright, honey?” he asked you, and you didn’t even have the strength—physical or mental—to correct his use of a pet name. 

“I could be better,” you replied, pinching the bridge of your nose as you tilted your head back. “There’s medicine for this, right?”

“Yeah. Let me go see if I can find some.”

As you fought off a war of nausea and headache that was currently beating you on all fronts, you could faintly hear the sound of Patrick asking the people around you if they had any medicine for motion sickness. He eventually returned after what felt like a lifetime, but was probably more like a few minutes, carrying a bottle of Dramamine. 

He helped you take the pill, putting it in your mouth then holding a bottle of water up to your lips to help you swallow it. The action felt oddly romantic, though it was more of a matter of practicality compared to anything else. You were clearly not in a stable enough space to get the pill down on your own, so his assistance wasn’t really anything for you to be over analyzing. 

“Look at you, keeping that down,” he teased, running his hand up and down your arm. The motion was soothing, a bit of bodily comfort amongst a plethora of other awful physical pains you were experiencing. “You’re doing great.”

His soft caresses turned into a full-blown hug, with Patrick pulling you into a tight embrace. While the action itself was rather cute—especially since it seemed to be completely impulsive on his part—it instantly brought on a new wave of nausea. 

“Pat?” you squeaked. 

“Yeah?” he asked. 

“You’re sweet. But if we stay like this, I am going to be sick all over you.”

He pulled away from you with concern, careful not to move too quickly to set off another bout of sickness. While he let go of your body, he continued to hold your hand, as if he were attempting to ground you. With how anxious he was looking, he might’ve been trying to ground himself as well. 

It was cute seeing him so worried about you. You tried your best not to read too much into it, and luckily, your slowly fading nausea was the perfect distraction from doing so. 

“Thank you for the drugs. It was fun watching you scramble all around asking people for help. You’re such a good…” you paused, not really knowing what you were or what to say. “Ex.”

Now wasn’t exactly the ideal time to have the, ‘what are we?’ conversation, but Patrick didn’t seem to mind. And if he did mind, he was doing a damn good job at hiding it. 

“Only the best for my ex.” Maybe you’d just been imaging it, but you swore you sensed a bit of hesitation on his end as he called you his ex. Admittedly, it would be significantly easier for both of you to be calling each other spouses, or even partners. But alas, you weren’t either of those things to each other anymore. 

As if you’d read each other's minds, the two of you quickly moved on from that conversation. 

After you’d arrived and gotten settled into Amsterdam, you set off to explore the city. When presented with a few options of things to do, Patrick insisted that the two of you go on a bike tour, much to your own chagrin. As much as you weren’t sure your legs could handle any more strenuous physical activity, you’d known that Patrick had wanted to take this bike tour since your trip was an actual honeymoon. Who were you to deny him of that?

As the two of you toured the very beautiful city, Patrick made sure to make a show out of his biking skills. While he was no professional cyclist, he certainly had the ego of one—which translated to him going a little too hard at times and nearly falling off of his bike more than once. 

Each time he almost fell, you found yourself also almost falling, the onset of laughter at the ridiculous man riding next to you nearly being too much to handle. Without fail, every time the two of you did your almost falling, then break into a howling laughter routine, you were given dirty looks by your fellow tour mates. Unfortunately, that only made the situation funnier to you and Patrick. 

By the time the tour had wrapped, it was clear that everyone was sick and tired of you. But at least this time, the people around you were sick of the girlish giggles Patrick pulled from you, rather than the rude words he provoked you into saying, like he’d done on the plane. 

It was refreshing to be spending time with him like this. In the time that you’d been so upset about your break up, you forgot about just how good it felt to be around Patrick when your relationship was going well. 

It was also nice to be spending some alone time with him, away from the rest of your tour group. As the two of you looked at strange knick-knacks in an antique store, you realized just how much you missed being alone with him. While it was nice that the two of you had made friends within your group, your dynamic as a duo was obviously something really special. Maybe that’s why the two of you had been together for so long. 

You spent the majority of the afternoon doubled over in laughter, playfully teasing Patrick, or being on the receiving end of subtle, gentle touches. As you really began to think about it, this day of travel had been your favorite—by a long shot. It also happened to be the day that felt most like one from a honeymoon.

Although it had already been clear to you for some time that you still had feelings for Patrick, the day you had spent together had completely sealed the deal. Once Patrick had surprised you with a beautiful bouquet of flowers over dinner, you’d only been more sure that you were sick with love for your ex.

It was a small miracle that you’d rounded out the day without confessing your feelings, particularly since you ended the evening with a movie playing on the television of your hotel room that the two of you barely paid attention to, as Patrick held you and talked about some of the things you’d missed while the two of you were separated. 

In the morning, you woke up to the soft sound of chatter, rather than your loud alarm clock or the sound of deep breaths in the shell of your ear. 

From what you could faintly make out from the words and the lack of a warm body beside you, Patrick was on the phone with his mother. You wanted to feel bad for eavesdropping, especially since you’d just had an argument with Patrick over your snooping habit just over a week ago, but it was far too difficult not to listen in. 

“I’m glad you liked the picture,” you made out from the muffled words behind the doorway. You were sure he was referencing the selfie the two of you took in front of Big Ben a few days ago. You also liked the photo a lot, with the two of you looking particularly good and particularly happy. You’d also taken a more baity photo of him kissing your cheek, specifically to send to his mother who he knew would be overjoyed to see you. While Patrick had explained the idea behind the picture as his mom simply wanting to see you, you knew the more accurate statement is that his mom wanted to see the two of you together. 

After a beat, there was a soft chuckle. “No, we’re not back together. No mom, there’s no ‘yet.’ I know. I’m an idiot, I know- aren’t you supposed to take your child’s side? Well, I don’t know if you know this, but we never ended up getting married, so no, she’s not your daughter. How could she possibly be your favorite child! We just talked about this. I’m gonna hang up. I’m serious. Alright. Love you, bye.”

When Patrick returned, you were already sitting up in bed. 

“Can you tell your mom I say hi next time?” you asked with a cheeky grin on your face, still coming off of the high that was the romantic outing you’d had the day prior. 

“I’m sure she’d love to hear that,” he replied, getting back into bed beside you. “She probably wants to hear from you more than she wants to hear from me.”

You laughed and shook your head, not bothering to argue with his words since you both knew they were pretty accurate. 

“I mean, I’m sure she’ll be inviting you to Thanksgiving and Christmas long after we’ve moved on with other people and have our own families.”

Your heart dropped to your stomach. You were sure of it. You thought you could genuinely feel the movement of your most vital organ slowly sinking into a pit of stomach acid. 

You tried not to let your smile falter, considering that Patrick was looking right at you with a sweet look of his own plastered on his face. You wondered if this was some sort of test, to gauge how you felt after a day of rekindling the love the two of you thought had burnt out. 

Or maybe, more realistically, he’d already come to accept the reality that you’d been stalling on accepting: your relationship was truly over. One fun day wouldn’t change the fact that your wedding had been called off, and that the two of you said things to each other that would alter the foundations of any solid relationship for years to come. 

Your heart was such a traitor. She refused to accept the simple fact that Patrick wanted to move on, and that your relationship was a thing of the past. Maybe, if you couldn’t convince your heart to accept that truth, you might be able to force your brain to. 

“And I’ll still be accepting that invitation, thank you very much,” you stated, trying to sound confident in your words. “In the meantime, let’s get ready before we miss this bus. You can tell me what your mom’s menu is gonna look like this year on our ride over.”

SOMEWHERE IN CENTRAL GERMANY

It was stupid for you to be torn up the way that you were over just a few simple words, but the more you thought about it, the worse you felt. 

In reality, it wasn’t just what Patrick had said to you in the hotel room. It was the fact that he’d been actively trying to move on with other people since who knew when, and the way he seemed to frequently verbally reiterate the fact that your relationship was over. By holding out hope that you might somehow be able to repair your relationship, you were being much more naïve than you even realized. 

You felt stupid. But you also felt confused, because as much as Patrick swore he was over you, and pursued other people, he was also far too comfortable acting like nothing had changed between you two. After all, he was the one flirting with you, and trying to attach himself at the hip to you as you traveled. He was the one who always managed to end up spooning you over the course of the night and woke up kissing whatever part of your body he was closest to. For god's sake, he’d just told you yesterday about how he’d searched high and low to find a bouquet of flowers that he thought you would genuinely like. And most damningly, you hadn’t forgotten the look of hurt on his face when he found out that you had slept with someone else. That wasn’t the behavior of someone who was over their partner.

To say you were receiving mixed messages was a complete understatement. You couldn’t understand how it was possible that the man who was currently leaning against you very affectionately, despite being on a cramped bus, was also totally over you and wanted to move on.

You didn’t know what you wanted to do about the situation, but you were sure that you couldn’t keep going like this. 

Your bus stopped somewhere in Germany for the evening, letting you all out to have dinner and do some light sightseeing before regrouping in the morning and heading to Prague. Somehow, that translated to going to a bar to try out German beer for you, Patrick, and a few of the friends you’d made while traveling. 

After a brief intermission of checking into your hotel room, your small group met up in the lobby, then set off to find a bar. 

Drinking while you were feeling a little upset probably wasn’t your brightest idea. The speed and volume at which you were consuming alcohol was a little concerning, but not nearly as concerning as how much Patrick was drinking. Eventually, even in your drunken state, you realized that you should probably slow down—if nothing else, to take care of him. 

But the two of you continued on, going from bar to bar, getting drunk at a level that probably would’ve been acceptable when you were younger, but was certainly going to take a major toll on you now. 

Forgetting about the repercussions of the future, you two were having a great time. Despite you being out with a group, it felt a little bit like the two of you were in your own little bubble. Nothing else in the world seemed to matter as the two of you took shots and danced together. Not the people around you, not the fact that you had to be up early the next morning to make it onto your coach, not even the fact that Patrick had implied that the two of you would move on and have families with other people only a few days ago. 

By the time that the rest of your group had called it quits, explaining that they wanted to be up and functional in time for your ride the next morning, you and Patrick were still in your own little world. It was only after you’d shared a few drunk cigarettes that the two of you decided that the fun should end, and that it was time to head back to your hotel. 

Unfortunately for you, midway through your trek back home, your drinking buddy had given up on walking, leaving you tasked with literally dragging him all the way back to your hotel. While a sober version of yourself would’ve been annoyed by the inconvenience, all you could really think about was how nice it was to have his body so close to yours.

After a tumultuous journey back, the two of you finally made it back to your hotel room. You had only been in the room for a matter of seconds before Patrick collapsed onto the bed and let out a loud sigh of relief, followed by an even louder yawn, as if he was the one who had just carried you down the road.

It was annoyingly endearing. 

You had half the mind to at least get somewhat ready before getting into bed, shedding your outermost layer of clothing before joining Patrick in bed. 

“Thank you,” he said to you once you laid down next to him. 

“Mhm,” you hummed, your head still pleasantly buzzing from the alcohol. “But I’m never doing that again.”

“Aww, why? We had so much fun,” he practically whined. “I always have so much fun when we’re together.”

“I had fun, but you’re so heavy. You’d never guess it. All those muscles,” in the midst of your complaining, you reached over to grab his bicep to demonstrate his point. 

He laughed, which made you laugh, though you didn’t exactly know what you were laughing at. Then, out of the blue, he randomly said your name in a very serious tone. 

“Can you help me with something?” he asked, sounding very genuine and giving you a look that you couldn’t quite place in your drunken state. 

“Anything,” you replied earnestly and meant it. You would probably do literally anything that he asked you to do at that moment. Move a mountain? You’d start pushing. Marry him? You’d wake up an officiant and come up with vows on the spot. Help him hide a body? You were sure you could find a shovel somewhere.

“Can you help me get my shoes off?” he lifted a foot as he spoke to demonstrate his point, a little pout on his lips. You were a little disappointed that he hadn’t asked you for anything else, but you also weren’t quite sure what it was that you wanted him to ask you for. 

You groaned playfully, a long and drawn out sound that you hoped would communicate that you were exhausted after dragging him through the city and comfortable where you were laying. Still, you leaned over and untied his shoes before gently slipping them off. When you looked back up at Patrick, his pants were newly half undone and halfway off, but it looked as if he had given up fully taking his pants off. 

“Need help with that too?” you asked, though you were already working on slipping the article of clothing off of his legs.

Though you tried to push the thought out of your mind, you couldn’t help but recall a similar night the two of you shared several years ago. Your relationship was still relatively new, but you were already very obviously in love. So in love that you’d gone out of your way to set up a surprise party to celebrate a particularly successful tennis match, decorating your apartment with photos of him with trophies and other tennis paraphernalia and inviting as many of his close friends that you could track down. Still riding the high of winning and his all-consuming adoration of you, Patrick had partied a little too hard, leaving you in charge of tucking him in at the end of the night. 

After bringing him a glass of water, the man snuggled into your sheets and slurred out a comment about how they smelled like you. You felt your cheeks warm as he continued on in a disjointed ramble, talking about how much he appreciated you and how no one had ever gone out of their way to make him feel like that before. He ended his monologue with a request for you to help him take his clothes off, and you happily obliged. It was tender and far more intimate than you’d expected, and ended in a drawn out kiss that left you giggling as you told Patrick that he tasted like Smirnoff Ice. 

Even as inebriated as you currently were, the nostalgia made you feel a little dizzy. 

By the time you’d finished helping him get his pants off, Patrick had clearly given up on getting his shirt off, too. Once again, you moved your hands up his body and helped him out with the piece of fabric. 

“Look at that. All ready for bed,” you commented, setting a hand on his bare chest. The small action made your heart soar, and you promptly decided that it was probably better for you to avoid touching him altogether. 

“My watch?” Patrick asked, lifting his wrist up to show you the accessory. 

“You can take your watch off yourself,” you replied, leaning back into bed and finally laying down. 

“Fine.”

“Night, Patty,” you said, reaching over to turn out the bedside lamp. 

“Wait,” he paused pensively, as if he was digging deep in the recesses of his mind to conjure up what he was about to say. “A kiss?”

“Patrick!” you gasped, sounding far more scandalized by the proposition than you actually were. Of course you would give him a kiss, you just weren’t sure you were ready to open up that can of worms, especially after you’d had a minor crisis at the realization that he genuinely wanted to move on.

“No goodnight kiss? C’mon. Fully commit to tucking me in,” Patrick insisted, as if it was the most logical thing ever. As if either of you had the self control to not let something as simple as a kiss spiral out of control. 

“Fine,” you sighed before pressing a gentle peck to his forehead, figuring that was the safest place to do so. A forehead kiss was about as platonic as it got with you.  “Sweet dreams.”

“Thank you,” he said, rather sweetly as his eyes shut. “Love you.”

Those words instantly gave you pause, causing you to suddenly feel very alert and very sober.

“Sorry, what did you just say?”

“I said I love you?” Patrick repeated, looking at you with confusion. “What?”

“Nothing,” though it was very much not nothing. In fact, if his confession was true, it would change everything. “Go to bed.”

“Wait, what?” Patrick grabbed your arm, looking very worried in the low light of the room. “You’re mad. You’re mad that I love you?”

You didn’t even know how you were supposed to react to that admission. While it had been exactly what you’d been dying to hear from him for months, it only further complicated your already very complicated situation.

“I’m not mad, I’m… I’m just tired. Let’s go to sleep, okay?”

Your explanation seemed to placate Patrick enough to let it go and go to sleep. He shuffled around to get comfortable behind you, before pulling you in to hold you as he’d done for the entirety of the trip. Except, tonight, it didn’t feel quite right. The mixture of his frequent rejections of you, paired with his casual confession that he still loved you made your head spin. 

The following morning, you woke up with a pounding in your head and a gross taste in your mouth—only one of which, you could fully attribute to the drinking you’d done last night. You clumsily reached for your phone, and found yourself pleasantly surprised to find an announcement about the delay of the next bus you would be getting on. 

You got out of bed with a grunt, your entire body aching with the reminder of having to drag Patrick through the city last night. Somehow, the sore muscles didn’t hurt nearly as much compared to the memory of being told that Patrick still loved you. 

You slowly paced back and forth around your hotel room, desperately trying to organize your racing thoughts. Did Patrick actually mean what he said last night? Or had been caught up in the heat of the moment? If anything, the latter seemed more likely, since he’d been very obviously trying to distance himself from you. But had he really been distancing himself from you, or just talking about distancing himself from you? If his care for you on the ferry had been any indication of how he really felt about you, it was possible that his drunken words were more honest than you were trying to convince yourself that they were. 

Finally, you decided to stop annoying the person staying in the room under you with your increasingly frantic pacing, and to go outside to walk. Some fresh air would be good for you anyway. 

“Where’re you going?” a muffled voice, heavy with sleep asked. You paused the tying of your shoes to look over at the bed, where Patrick was currently squinting at you.  

“I’m just going for a walk,” you told him. “Go back to sleep. The coach is coming late.”

“Wait for me. I’ll come with you.”

That was probably the last thing you needed or wanted. After all, the whole purpose of your walk was to help you sort out your thoughts about Patrick. To say he wasn’t a welcome addition to your trip was an understatement.

“Okay,” you said anyway, against your better judgment. It seemed like you hadn’t been using much of your judgment at all on this trip. What was one more poor decision on top of a series of poor decisions?

You watched him get ready from where you were sitting, quietly impressed with his ability to get up and be functional despite surely being just as hungover—if not more—than you. He also seemed wholly unaffected by the conversation you’d had last night, which was something that you certainly couldn’t say for yourself. 

With sunglasses perched on your nose and the weight of your entire relationship placed on your shoulders, the two of you headed out into the city, walking on the same sidewalks that you’d practically carried Patrick down the previous night. 

“Last night was fun,” Patrick commented, making small talk with you as you began to head down the street. 

“Some parts,” you agreed, hoping that he’d recall you grunting as you lugged him down the street, rather than your shock when he told you that he still loved you. 

“I honestly don’t remember most of the night,” Patrick said with a chuckle that almost sounded a little forced. You couldn’t be sure if he was being honest or searching for a cop out for the things he’d told you before you went to sleep, but you weren’t sure that it really mattered.

“Unfortunately, I do,” you replied. 

“Oh no. I hope I wasn’t too much of a pain.”

“You were like, slightly above average in terms of being a pain. Nothing I’m not used to.” You figured that maybe you could banter your way out of this situation. Perhaps if you just pretended that everything was okay, things would magically become okay.

But that didn’t feel alright. In fact, it wasn’t alright. If you ever wanted to improve your relationship with Patrick, you had to stop beating around the bush with him. You were both adults. You’d been together for years, yet you felt like you wasted far too much time not being straightforward with your thoughts and feelings. If there was going to be a next time for the two of you, you wanted things to be different. 

“You did say something kinda interesting last night, though.” While it had been easy to talk up a big game in your head, you immediately regretted the words that came out of your mouth. Regardless, it was too late for you to back out. 

Patrick laughed nervously before asking, “what?”

“You just… you kinda told me you still have feelings for me, or whatever. I just think, maybe we should talk about it. Or at least talk about us.”

The man next to you paled at your words. Your regret for bringing the topic up immediately grew exponentially. 

“I don’t think there’s anything to talk about,” Patrick said, though he was lying through his teeth and both of you knew it. You wanted to approach this topic with civility and an open mind, but his blatant lie was making that a rather difficult task.

“Are you kidding? We’ve been tip-toeing around it this entire trip.”

“We’re broken up. You called off our wedding. I don’t think it gets any more straightforward than that,” he dismissed with a gross simplification of the state of your relationship.

“That’s not what I’m talking about, and you know it. And even if it was, all I said was that I didn't think I was ready to get married. You put the final nail in the coffin when you told me you fell out of love with me. But I don’t know how I’m supposed to interpret you not being in love with me anymore when you still act the way that you act with me.”

You could tell the direction this conversation was going, your discussion quickly veering into argument territory as Patrick began to invade your space as he always did when you argued. 

“And how exactly do I act with you?” he challenged, though you were sure he knew exactly what you were talking about.  

“Do you want me to give you a list or something?” you asked, his anger becoming contagious.

“Sure, why not,” he said drily. 

“Fine. Let’s start with the cuddling, then. Please enlighten me, do you know any exes who spoon regularly? I mean, I certainly don’t. I don’t even touch my friends like that. So I don’t know what that really makes us. Or maybe how jealous you got when you saw me with someone else. I really can’t think of any sort of platonic explanation for that, and trust me, I’ve tried. And while we’re at it, I guess I should mention those showers. I respect the hell out of your faith in the thickness of these hotel walls, but I actually can hear you moaning my name while you’re in there. I’m honestly a little flattered, but I’m mostly confused.”

“Like you’re not doing the same,” Patrick scoffed. You knew him well enough to recognize that he was masking his true feelings with hostility, and though you wanted to engage in an actual conversation with him, you weren’t sure you would be able to take the high road in this conversation.

“Sure, but I’m not the one in denial of what’s going on here!”

“I’m not in denial. Have you ever considered that maybe I want to move on?”

“Do you, though?” you asked, pausing on the sidewalk.

“Clearly, I do,” he stopped right along with you, now really getting in your face.

“Clearly,” you repeated with a laugh. “Maybe you should start acting like it.”

“Maybe you should stop clinging to the past.”

His piercing gaze was unwavering as he waited to read your reaction. You knew how he liked to play this game, looking for an indication of any sort of weakness from you. You refused to give him that, though his words cut deep. 

“Okay,” you said calmly, though you were very much not feeling calm on the inside. “Well, thanks for letting me know how you really feel. Or how you think you feel. I don’t really know anymore. And I don’t think you know either.”

PRAGUE, CZECH REPUBLIC

If you had known that telling Patrick that he drunkenly confessed to loving you would’ve broken the already very delicate relationship the two of you had built back up, you never would’ve said anything at all. As it turned out, having some of Patrick was better than not having him at all.

The contempt he now felt for you had become so strong that he didn’t even seem to be able to look at you. He sat next to a different person on the bus to Prague, not even sparing you a glance. When you arrived at the hotel, he made it a point to ask for separate rooms—something the two of you hadn’t done the entirety of your trip. As your tour began, he seemed to make a strong effort to separate himself from you, standing in the back of your group when you were in the front and vice versa. 

Usually, even after your worst arguments, you’d been able to find the time to talk out your feelings, but now it seemed like Patrick couldn’t even find it in himself to give you that.

You wanted to be mad at Patrick too. You were mad at him. But you missed him more than you were angry with him, and you yearned to be with him, no matter how crazy his constant antics drove you. 

Part of you felt frustrated that your relationship had become so cyclical since your breakup. You weren’t sure you could handle another cycle of fighting to the point of real anger, then making up with your relationship still a little more strained than it was in the past. You just wanted Patrick. Why did things have to be any more complicated than that? 

You desperately clung on to any bits of hope that your relationship might persist, coming out of this argument altered, but still existing. You snuck peeks at Patrick while you toured a beautiful castle and tried to bite your tongue until you stopped thinking of how badly you wanted to grab him and joke about his home looking like that castle. You wondered if he wanted to put your initials on a lock and put it on a bridge as much as you did. You wished you could ask him if he missed the warm body in bed beside him the way you did. 

But every time you looked at him, he was pointedly not looking at you. As your group paused on the bridge to allow couples the time to make their own locks, Patrick didn’t even spare a glance in your direction. You were sure that even if he did miss you in bed, or wherever else, he would never tell you about it. 

You didn’t want it to be over—but you couldn’t keep clinging to hope that it wasn’t. 

GENEVA, SWITZERLAND

Getting to view the breathtaking scenery of the Swiss Alps as you sat on a cable car had been a dream of yours for years. What wasn’t included in that dream was dodging the glare of your ex-fiancé as the two of you sat in silence on that very gondola. 

Unluckily for the two of you, you were stuck together for the afternoon. Private skiing lessons in the Swiss Alps sounded like a great, even romantic, idea while you were planning the trip, but it was far from romantic now. 

The two of you stood on opposite sides of your instructor, the tension between you so thick that in the midst of his safety spiel, he paused to ask if everything was okay between you. After a stilted reply of yes, your instructor looked at you both skeptically before carrying on. 

Seeing as Patrick was an athlete who spent his childhood school breaks in Aspen, he was pretty decent at skiing already. Far better than you, a novice who was moving a little bit like a giraffe standing on its feet for the first time. 

While it wasn’t your first time skiing—that had been on a family vacation you’d tagged along on with the Zweigs—you certainly were not experienced enough to be keeping up with Patrick, who had the experience and the ego to give even your instructor a run for his money. 

It was entertaining to watch him in his element, his competitive side coming out despite the fact there was no competition anywhere to be found. He was significantly faster than you wherever you went, and skied with a confidence that you doubted you would ever be able to exhibit. In the past, this behavior may have been slightly endearing to you, but right now, it was mostly a little annoying. 

You and your instructor stood above Patrick, watching him effortlessly glide down the mountain in front of you. If you weren’t so agitated, you might actually have been impressed. As if your instructor was actively reading your mind, he leaned over to say something to you. 

“I think he’s trying to impress you,” he said quietly, though the subject of your conversation was an entire slope away. 

You nearly choked on your own saliva at the observation. “No way.”

“What do you mean no way?” he laughed. “Trust me, I’ve been doing this for years, and I’ve seen it all. Couples, crushes, friends, coworkers. I know posturing when I see it.”

“Trust me, he could care less.”

He looked at you with a doubting squint.  “Why don’t we go down there and ask him?”

“Absolutely not,” you laughed. The thought of asking Patrick anything after the interactions you’d had seemed absolutely ridiculous. At this point, you wouldn’t even ask him what time it was. 

“Sorry. Let me rephrase that. That was me telling you that it’s time for you to go down the slope.”

You looked downhill at where you needed to go, noting that it was far steeper than what you’d been practicing on leading up to this point. You had been looking for an excuse to stall going down it, but now that your instructor had said something about that, you couldn’t not go.

After taking a deep breath, you began to go down. Gaining a bit of speed, you also found yourself growing slightly more confident, closing your eyes and feeling the cold air press against your body. While you were enjoying your speed at first, it was quickly growing out of hand, and you began to panic as you realized just how fast you were going. Desperately trying to pull your skis into a V shape to slow down, you were horrified at the realization that you were far too late, and actively heading towards a cluster of trees. You didn’t know what to do other than to accept your fate, and everything had happened so fast anyway that you found yourself tumbling into a tree, a searing pain on your ankle and tailbone as you laid out on the rocky ground.

Everything felt like it was moving slowly and quickly at the same time. One second, you were alone in the snow, and the next, Patrick and your ski instructor were hovering over you, goggles on their foreheads as they looked at you with concern.

“Are you okay?” you were finally able to make out once the slight ringing in your ears had ceased. 

“Did you see how hard she crashed? Of course she isn’t fucking okay,” Patrick’s voice huffed, though slightly muffled from your helmet covering your ears.

“My ankle,” you said, as if that gave them enough context. You wondered if they could see the tears beginning to pool under your goggles. The pair looked at your limb, though with your snowsuit covering it, they really couldn’t see much. 

“Can you walk?” your instructor asked you. 

“I haven’t tried, but I’m gonna go with no.”

“We’re gonna have someone check you out. Don’t worry, they’ll be here soon,” your ski instructor told you. You blinked a few times and mustered all the strength you could to nod. 

The longer you sat, the more you began to realize how badly everything hurt. From your head down to your surely swollen ankle, you weren’t feeling too hot. You closed your eyes, suddenly feeling very exhausted. Maybe a quick little nap was exactly what you needed to feel a little better.

“Hey, don’t do that. You hit your head pretty hard when you fell, so you might have a concussion.”

“I don’t, I’m just tired,” you explained, though you didn’t know for a fact that it was true. In fact, with the pounding in your head, you more likely than not had a mild concussion. 

“Well, you kinda have to stay awake,” Patrick told you, though he surely knew it was easier said than done. You were surprised when you felt his gloved hand take yours and squeezed your hand softly. “Hey, why don’t you tell us a story?” he suggested, clearly just trying to keep you awake.

“Do you wanna hear the story about how he proposed to me?” you asked the instructor. You weren’t sure why that was the first thing to pop into your head, but it was a long enough story to keep you awake until help arrived. You wished your goggles were slightly less tinted, so you could at least see the scandalized expression Patrick was probably making. You loved when you made him react like that, since the roles were usually reversed. 

“Well, yeah. Of course,” your instructor responded with a hint of a laugh. “You guys are engaged?” he directed towards Patrick.

“This is our honeymoon,” you replied before Patrick had an opportunity to respond. You wished you could see the confused look that your instructor was surely making.

“So what happened?”

“When he proposed?” you asked to clarify. 

“...Sure.”

“Well, for a little context, Patrick here is a professional tennis player. He’s really good too. So given my athletic ability, as you got to see today, I never really played with him. Like, he would always ask me to just play a fun, quick little round and I would always tell him no. Mostly because I knew he would crush me. I did play a little bit back in the day, but I was nowhere near his level. I mostly preferred to be on the sideline while we dated. I mean, I came to every single one of his games. I’m pretty sure my office introduced remote work to us because of me, since I was traveling all the time to see him.

“Anyway, one day, after a day of buttering me up, and I mean, he was really laying it on thick. I don’t know how I didn’t think something was up,” you laughed as you recalled the day, how Patrick had scheduled a nail appointment for you, then wined and dined you during a very romantic midday picnic. “But he asked me to play a little bit of tennis with him. I think I just thought he spent the day buttering me up so that I would play tennis with him, not that I would agree to marry him, but I digress. 

“We get to the tennis court and Patrick’s nervous like I’ve never seen him. He was a little jittery all day, but this was a different beast. Looking back, I really don’t understand why. He should’ve known I was going to say yes. Anyway, we’re playing, and somehow I win, even though I’m extremely rusty and have absolutely awful form. Obviously I knew Patrick threw the match for me, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t gonna gloat at him. 

“So I’m doing my victory spiel and I walk over to his side of the court, where he’s digging in his bag. He’s so quiet, which should’ve been a sign that something was up, and I’m thinking he’s about to pull out more tennis balls and tell me we’re doing a rematch, so he can really crush me. Instead, he pulls out a box and gets down on one knee. He gives me a speech about how he didn’t care if he never won another game of tennis in his life, because as long as we were together, he was a winner. It was really sweet. Obviously I said yes.”

You finally looked over at Patrick, though you couldn’t perfectly read his expression through the darkened lens of your goggles. You wondered if he felt any of the same feelings that were currently simmering in your own chest. Though, you didn’t get to stew too long, as help arrived just as your story came to a close. 

You were taken to an infirmary and given a series of tests, some to see the state of your head and other to see how the rest of your body was doing. Surprisingly, you made it out without too much serious damage. Your ankle was sprained, but nothing that would make it take too long to heal. You had a concussion, which surprised you, given your ability to recall so many details earlier in the day, but it was a very mild one. At least you’d made it back into your hotel in one piece. 

You really just wanted to relax for the rest of the evening, and you had plans to do exactly that, when there was suddenly a soft rapping at your door. 

You got up, and with help from the crutches you were provided, you hobbled to the door and opened it. On the other side was Patrick, who you were both surprised and unsurprised to see. 

“Hey. I got your room number from the front desk,” Patrick told you. “Do you mind if I come in?”

“Sure, but I’m probably going to sleep soon,” with some effort, you sidestepped the doorway to let him in.

“Do you need anything? Want anything?” he asked as he made himself at home in your room, evaluating what you already had. 

“I’m good, I think.”

“How’re you feeling? They wouldn’t let me see you at the infirmary.”

“I’ve been better,” you shrugged, sitting down on the foot of your bed to take some pressure off of your aching ankle. 

“I bet. Are you icing that?” he asked, gesturing to your most obvious injury. 

“I haven’t been able to make it out to the ice machine,” you confessed, though the doctor had suggested ice for the inflammation. 

“Let me go grab some for you,” he said before disappearing out into the hallway. Once he left, you laid back in bed, letting out a sigh of relief at how much better being flat felt. 

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t like being taken care of this way. It seemed like no matter how bad things got between the two of you, you would always care for one another in some capacity. You wondered what had gone through Patrick’s mind when he saw you hurt yourself. You wondered if that changed anything in the way he felt about you. 

He knocked on the door once more to tell you he was back, though the door was already unlocked. 

“If there’s anything else you need, I mean anything at all, just call me. I’m just down the hall from you,” he told you as he bagged up the ice he retrieved. 

He sat down on the foot of the bed, where you’d previously been sitting, and tenderly set the bag of ice on your ankle, clearly not wanting to hurt you any more than you were already hurt. He looked at you a little sadly before standing back up, not wanting to linger in your presence too long. 

“I’ll let you get some sleep,” he explained, already turning to head towards the door. 

“Thanks, Patrick,” you paused, looking for any other words you had for him. “Good night.”

“Night.”

SOMEWHERE IN ITALY

The next few days in Switzerland had been extremely boring. Due to doctor’s orders, you mainly stayed in bed, avoiding screens by reading books, and looking out the window to view the mountains that you were currently missing. 

Although you had to miss a lot of the fun your tour was going on, like a cheese and chocolate tour, you somehow still received an anonymous delivery of cheeses and chocolates—though, you were pretty sure you knew who was responsible for that. 

Patrick didn’t seem like he wanted to overstep any boundaries, which you respected, though you really could’ve used some company whose ear you could talk off. Hell, you’d even take another nasty argument over the resounding silence of your room. 

Luckily for you, by the time your group was traveling once again, you were starting to feel slightly better, concussion and ankle-wise. Though, your head was starting to hurt from listening to a person at the front of the bus go on about how much they needed the bus to pull over somewhere. 

After a period of incessant complaining from someone on your bus, the vehicle finally came to a stop at a small rest stop in the middle of the Italian countryside. 

Not willing to pass up an opportunity to stretch your legs, you got off at the stop, briefly stopping inside the building to look at what they had to offer before stepping behind the building, watching the wind blow through the overgrown weeds. 

Your attempt at enjoying the quiet, idyllic countryside was disturbed when you were joined by a smoking companion. 

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you,” he said. 

Before you could stop it, a sad smile appeared on your face. The two of you hadn’t spoken since your brief conversation in your hotel room, despite the mystery snack deliveries and the promise of coming if you called.

“I’ve been worried about you,” he said plainly.

“There’s nothing to worry about,” you dismissed. 

“You’ve spent the last few days all alone in a room with a concussion.”

“It’s mild.”

“You fucked up your ankle.”

“It’s healing. It’s not all that bad.”

“Well, I’ve been worried anyway,” he passed you his partially smoked cigarette and you took a drag from it, though you were sure that was one of the things you shouldn’t be doing with a concussion. 

“Thanks, I guess.” you said. “So is this just a wellness check, or…?”

“No, well, yes. Obviously I was worried about you physically, but I also was wondering about how you were in general.”

It was strange to see him clumsily mince his words, given how bold he usually was.

“Oh? What changed between here and Germany?”

“What changed? What changed was that I watched you almost die.”

You laughed aloud at his over dramatization of the event. “Patrick, I did not almost die.”

“How would I have known that? I just saw you flying downhill out of control and crashing and it terrified me. I couldn’t imagine a world without you in it.”

You weren’t sure how you were supposed to interpret his words, especially after the wild ride you’d been on throughout the trip. You weren’t sure you could handle another emotional bait and switch. 

“Pat, maybe we should talk about this later. The bus is probably taking off soon.”

“No,” he stopped you with a hand on your arm, calling you back with a desperation you hadn’t seen in him in a long time. “I don’t want to waste another second without you.”

“Okay,” you said, though you weren’t sure that you should buy into it yet. “Go ahead, then.”

“I can’t keep pretending that I don’t want you or don’t want to be with you,” he confessed, which genuinely took you by surprise. With the way he’d been dodging your attempts at building a connection, you certainly didn’t think he’d tell you something like that. 

“Then why have you been pretending?” you asked, hoping that your somewhat harsh words didn’t betray your genuine curiosity behind his behavior. 

“I don’t know,” he said. It was a terrible, unsatisfying answer. One that didn’t explain a single reason behind his behavior. “I guess I just can’t wrap my head around the idea that anyone would want to keep me around long-term.”

You looked at him with shock in your eyes, your mouth slightly agape at the confession. You couldn’t imagine Patrick, overconfident, bold, and self-assured, who you’d been dating for years, not feeling secure in your relationship–to the point where he’d been actively trying to push you away out of anticipating how you’d feel about him.

“When you told me you weren’t ready to be with me, it just confirmed everything I’d been worried about—that one day you would wake up next to me and realize that I wasn’t the guy you wanted. I guess it just happened sooner than I anticipated.”

You almost couldn’t believe what you were hearing. “If you felt like that, then why’d you tell me you weren’t in love with me anymore?”

“I thought if you were gonna leave me anyway, I might as well beat you to the punch.”

You were giving it your all to keep it together at this point, feeling slightly vindicated to know that Patrick was lying about no longer loving you, but mostly devastated that your whole relationship had been uprooted over an assumption that Patrick had made about you. 

“I… I don’t even know what to say,” you looked out into the grass, then back at Patrick. “I wish you’d stop assuming that you know what I want all the time.”

“Hey you two, last call for the coach,” your tour guide suddenly interrupted, looking very obviously annoyed that the two of you were holding the bus up. 

“Sorry. We’ll head back now,” you apologized to the guide. “We’ll continue this conversation later?” you directed towards Patrick. 

“Yeah,” he agreed. 

VENICE, ITALY

Putting a hold on your conversation probably wasn’t the wisest idea you’d ever had, considering that your next few days in Italy were set to be your busiest this far. 

Between gondola rides on different boats and exploring historic palaces, the two of you didn’t have much time to stop and have as serious of a talk as you wanted to have. Even if you did somehow manage to pick up where you’d left off, there were so many people around you that it didn’t even feel worth it. 

Luckily for you, your hotel had a private beach attached to it, and as you spent your evening by the beach, watching the sun go down, you were pleased to find that you were joined by familiar company. 

At first, Patrick didn’t say anything as he sat down on the same chair next to you. The two of you enjoyed the serene sunset and privacy that the beach afforded you in silence, though you were sure that things wouldn’t stay that way for long. 

“I love you, you know?” he finally piped up, breaking the silence with a very bold declaration. 

You looked at him calmly, though you weren’t feeling very calm on the inside. You’d been waiting to hear those words from him from the moment that the two of you broke up. You weren’t sure how you were supposed to react to it now, though the confession was better late than never. 

“I love you too. I never stopped,” you told him simply, as if the realization that you were stuck on him hadn’t been haunting you for months now.

“I never did, either. It was cruel of me to ever tell you that I did.”

You nodded in agreement, wondering if Patrick would ever understand the full extent of the damage his words had done to you. “It was, but I understand where you were coming from. If I had known that you didn’t think I was going to stick around, I would’ve gone about what I did differently,” you began to explain. “I think it came across as me not wanting to marry you at all. Of course I wanted to marry you. There was just so much else going on in my life then that the timing didn’t feel right.”

“But the timing might be right someday?” Patrick asked, a hopeful lilt in his voice. 

“The timing will be right someday. Maybe sooner than either of us know,” you shot him a wink, then broke into a grin as he pulled you into a firm, loving embrace. 

ATHENS, GREECE 

The rest of your time in Italy mainly consisted of making up for lost time, with the two of you partaking in far more PDA than what was ever necessary and thoroughly documenting your time abroad together as a couple. 

Thanks to your injury, you were slightly slower than the rest of your group. But that certainly didn’t stop Patrick from lagging along with you, letting you lean on him for support when you needed it and pausing to sit and take breaks with you whenever you noticed that walking was taking too much of a toll on you.

It was nice to be back with him, to not have to feel stupid for feeling what you felt or feel the pressure of knowing that you should probably be trying to move on. The only unfortunate part was how little time the two of you had left on vacation, with you heading home after spending a few days in Athens. If only the two of you had been upfront about your feelings earlier, then you could’ve been having as great of a time as you were having now during your entire trip. 

The two of you briefly floated the idea of having somewhat of a shotgun wedding, but scrapped it after realizing that you would prefer to have your family and friends there to celebrate with you. After all, many of them had been on the emotional rollercoaster that was your relationship right along with you. 

For the time being, the two of you were perfectly content with being together, and knowing that neither of you had any intentions of leaving. 

Somehow, that made your last few days of vacation feel infinitely better. 

ATHENS INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT

You scrolled endlessly on your phone, sending out a few messages to friends and family to let them know that you were heading back home. While you typically felt a few nerves before boarding a plane anywhere, you couldn’t help but feel a renewed sense of excitement, both at the thought of being able to go back home and sleep in your own bed, and at the potential your newly reformed relationship had. 

Your scrolling was interrupted by Patrick’s presence, carrying a coffee and a breakfast sandwich in his hands with a slightly goofy look on his face. 

“Sorry for taking so long. I think everyone and their mother wanted coffee today,” he explained as he sat down, passing you your items as he got comfortable next to you. 

“No worries. I’m just glad you were running late to grab us breakfast, instead of trying to switch our seats like last time.”

The two of you shared a laugh before Patrick said, “That feels like a lifetime ago.”

“It basically was,” you dismissed. 

Once it was announced that your group was boarding, the two of you stood up quickly, attempting to gather your bearings before getting on the plane. 

“‘Till next time, Europe,” you bid the country goodbye as the two of you made your way to the line. 

“Should we come back to Europe? I was thinking our next honeymoon should be somewhere else. Maybe Bali.”

“Oooh, Bali sounds nice. I think anywhere warm and with a beach is good,” you explained, though you really didn’t care where you went, as long as Patrick was there by your side.

#patrick zweig x reader #patrick zweig #patrick zweig x you #patrick zweig fic #art donaldson x reader #challengers #challengers fanfic #josh o'connor x reader

[seeingivy]

world war sibling

ryomen sukuna x f!reader

**part of my best friend's (older brother) fic

previous part linked here

--

“you know, you kind of picked the worst spot for your first.” sukuna mumbles. 

“that doesn’t help, sukuna. like in the slightest.” 

sukuna retreats his original comment as the buzzing of the tattoo gun starts again, accompanied by your death-like grip on his hand and the tears spilling out of your eyes. and he almost feels bad for his slightly snide comment – which was intended to make you laugh – as he leans forward, wiping away the wetness and sweat on your forehead, before pressing a kiss to your cheek. 

“you’re actually doing great, princess. i cried like a baby during my first.” 

“yeah. it was fucking annoying.” toji mutters. 

you laugh, earning you a smile from both toji and sukuna, as the former continues buzzing into your arm. 

toji, who you can’t help but find familiar, is sukuna’s most trusted tattoo artist. upon their first meeting, he had bent the rules for sukuna at seventeen (i.e. legally under the age for a tattoo) and since then, had been one of sukuna’s favorite artists in the area. 

and you could tell why sukuna liked him. he was quiet and serious – sukuna’s favorite type of person – but here and there, would offer some strange story about sukuna from years prior, that made the both of them smile when he recounted the memory. 

long story short, he was yet another undercover sap. you were starting to think that sukuna had a type. 

“did he really cry?” you ask. 

“that’s rich coming from him – he picked a worse spot than you did. i had to stop and give him a break before i could continue.” toji mutters. 

you bite down on your lip as you lean against sukuna’s shoulder, the stinging feeling on the inner part of your wrist making your heart race and your head pulsate, as he whispers into your ear, trying to distract you from the pain. 

“are you excited for tonight?” sukuna asks. 

“yeah.” you whisper. 

“where are you going?” he asks. 

you whimper in response, to which sukuna clicks his tongue, before asking again. 

“the bar on sixteenth. they….oh my fucking god…they have happy hour after five.” 

“figured i might as well ask you now before the four of you are drunk out of your mind.” sukuna scoffs. 

after what was a painstakingly awkward conversation between you and yuuji three weeks prior, things were slowly returning back to normal, with the smallest of steps. the two of you went back to studying together, and the week prior, you had returned to your usual weekend plans of going out with him, megumi, and kugisaki again. 

now and then he’d send you strange buzzfeed quizzes at three in the morning, you would send back pictures of cute dogs at work, and finally resumed your original plans of dinner at your parents every other week. 

yuuji and sukuna had yet to cross paths again, except for the curt greetings they’d give each other when yuuji dropped you off or sukuna came to pick you up. sukuna hadn’t gotten over the fact that yuuji had punched you and yuuji…well, he was almost too embarrassed to show his face, let alone even ask for an apology. 

yuuji was always like that, so in his head about whatever it was sukuna was thinking. and while normally, you’d encourage him to just talk it out – knowing how sukuna still felt about the entire thing meant that you had tabled trying to get them to get along for the time being. 

“that’s it.” toji states, before pushing off of his rolling chair and rummaging through the drawer at his side. 

you sit up, blinking the tears out of your eyes, as sukuna leans over your shoulder, the two of you admiring the bloody mess on the inside of your wrist, of a waterlily. 

“it’s perfect, birthday girl.” sukuna whispers. 

“you think my mom will kill me?” you ask. 

“isn’t that kind of the point?”

you laugh as sukuna helps you off the chair and walks you over to the little stand, where toji wraps the area in plastic before walking over to ring you up. and it’s almost a joke – how quickly sukuna snatches your credit card from your fingers, before offering his own. 

“i was going to use that.” you deadpan. 

“it’s on me. it’s your birthday.” 

“you know i don’t –” 

“i know you don’t care about birthdays, doll. but i’m not a piece of shit. toji, i’m paying.” 

the novelty of birthdays, parties, and celebrations seemed to wear off around the time that you turned twelve. a few embarrassing mishaps – like inviting twenty people to a bowling alley just to have only yuuji show up or not having anyone to invite at all the following year out of mortification led to an almost disdain towards the day. 

and after that, the plan was always simple. the night of, the pair of you would go out – originally for ice cream, but those quickly transitioned into sugar sweet margaritas two years ago when you turned twenty-one. and while the plan with yuuji still standing for tonight, sukuna was afforded the entire morning and afternoon. 

it was just another day. meaning you and sukuna were going to eat breakfast together – though you did think the little candle he put in your french toast was a cute touch – before heading to your tattoo appointment. he bought you a new pair of earrings and a ribbon for your hair, but only because he insisted that they reminded him of you earlier this week, and obviously had nothing to do with your birthday. 

and it was perfect – you were going to walk over to the little arts and crafts store after your tattoo appointment, so you and sukuna could make bracelets together before you had to go to the bar with yuuji. it was yet another silly trend you had seen on tiktok – picking out beads that looked like your partner's eyes – and making bracelets out of them, and sukuna was all too quick to oblige. 

sammy was supposed to stop over briefly at some point to drop off a gift and sukuna was going to tuck you into bed at the end of the night. 

you could tell that he was trying really hard to contain it, whatever it was he was feeling over the fact that it was your birthday. because knowing him, if he had his way, he’d be going the entire ten miles and buying you a plethora of gifts and dinners if he could. 

but it took a few talks for him to realize it actually made you really uncomfortable. which is the only reason he let you limit him to three gifts (a bridgerton season three mug, a new taylor swift vinyl, and another lingerie set, which he claimed was more for him than it was for you). 

and though it was really simple – two red velvet cupcakes on a random park bench and a quiet night out, but you could still feel it. the excessive amounts of kisses he was placing on your shoulder and the way he was opening the doors, that he was trying his best to go above and beyond to make you feel special. 

it was sweet. and quiet. just the way you liked it. 

--

you swing open the apartment door to your worst nightmare. 

the main room is decked out in streamers, balloons, and a pretty pink banner – all of which sukuna set up the night before when you fell asleep for your breakfast together. you thought it was a little bit over dramatic – decorating the entire place for just the two of you – but you have the slightest hunch that it was more for this. 

“did you seriously invite all of them?” you whisper, balling your hands into fists at your side as they all cheer, running over to give you excited hugs. 

instead of what you were promised – sammy stopping over briefly to bring you a gift – almost everyone you know is milling around in your apartment. yuuji, kugisaki, and megumi but also maki, gojo, sammy, and shoko. 

even megumi’s sister is here. 

sukuna mouths i had no idea as sammy walks up to your side, placing a shot in your hand. 

“drink up, birthday girl!” 

“i’m good, sam. you go ahead.” 

“room is really tense. i’d take it if i were you.” sammy mumbles, before walking off. 

yuuji walks up to your side, offering you a hug, before pulling back and placing his hands on your shoulders. 

“i tried to stop it. but sister dearest insisted.” yuuji whispers. 

“oh god, of course she did. did you tell her i would hate this?” you ask. 

“i did. and then she said, ‘who hates birthdays?’ and invited everyone anyway.” yuuji responds, perfectly mimicking sammy’s high pitched voice. 

you groan. 

“did you mention the bowling alley?” 

“i did. she responded by saying that means there’s more cake for us.” 

yuuji offers you a pinched smile as sukuna snakes his hand across your shoulder, leaning down to whisper in your ear. 

“i’m so sorry, angel. i swear i had no idea.” sukuna whispers. 

“i know. you know how sammy can be. goes a little overboard…kind of stubborn.” you respond. 

“you have another problem.” yuuji states. 

the two of you turn to your left, as yuuji lifts his hand and awkwardly scratches at the back of his neck. 

“you remember maki’s shitty sister?” yuuji asks. 

“yeah.” 

“she’s your sister’s girlfriend.” 

you feel your throat dry as you dart your head to the left – to where kugisaki and maki are swirling a glass of lemonade in their hands with geto – and to then to the right where sammy is rubbing circles into mai’s back, the two of them talking in hushed tones with gojo. 

“this city is too fucking small.” you mumble. 

“is it that bad?” sukuna asks, his eyes darting between the two of you. 

“that’s the understatement of the year. imagine me and sammy on…on like steroids.” you respond, miserably. 

“alright, well. megumi and i did at least get sammy to get a cake from chaupain, so how about you just eat it in the corner while sukuna and i do damage control? we’ll just keep them away from each other and try to get them to leave as soon as possible.” yuuji asks. 

yuuji looks past your shoulder to where sukuna is standing, waiting for a vote of approval. and given the fact that he basically feels like a fish in water at the current moment, he agrees. 

--

“let’s see the tattoo.” megumi states. 

you all but oblige, holding out your wrist for megumi and tsumiki to admire, watching as their attentive eyes note the needle work. 

“this is beautiful. why the waterlily?” tsumiki asks. 

you smile. 

“like monet’s waterlilies. it’s one of my favorite art pieces.” you respond. 

“that’s neat. it’s very pretty.” she responds, giving you a warm smile. 

“where’d you get it? yuuji has been thinking about getting one.” megumi asks. 

“downtown. there’s a tattoo parlor across from that bar that we did glee trivia at once.” 

you watch as tsumiki and megumi give each other a look, the former pulling her soft featherlike touch away from your wrist and crossing her arms over her chest. 

“who did your tattoo?” megumi asks. 

“oh. he’s just some guy sukuna’s friends with. he’s been going to him since he was like seventeen..” 

megumi clenches his jaw, before placing his hands at his side. 

“black hair, scar near his lip?” 

you pause. 

“yeah. his name is toji. do you know him or something?” you ask. 

“something like that.” megumi responds, before shuffling off towards the drinks. 

tsumiki gives you an almost apologetic smile, before leaning forward and whispering in your ear. 

“don’t take it personal. he’s our dad.” 

“your…” 

“yes, our deadbeat dad. it is rather off putting finding out that he’s had money…or you know, a job this entire time, and friends, when we’ve been trying to make ends meet forever. we always had a hunch that he was there but you know, kind of confirms it if you were there this morning.” 

you pinch your eyes shut, before placing a hand on her shoulder. 

“i’m so sorry.” you mumble. 

“you didn’t know. i’m going to check on megumi, though, if that’s okay? you know how he can be.” 

“please.” 

you drag your tired legs to the corner of the kitchen island, pouring yourself a shot, before slumping down into the chair. and your very futile efforts of getting a second to yourself are all but squashed when you find satoru at your side, sliding a slice of cake your way. 

“hi birthday girl.” 

you sigh. 

“hi satoru. thank you for coming.”

“i do suppose i should apologize for showing up. i didn’t realize you hate birthdays.” 

“i don’t hate them, it’s just…the big party thing. not really my jam. for obvious reasons. i just accidentally brought up someone’s deadbeat dad and somehow brought together the most homicidal pair of sisters in japan into my apartment.” you respond. 

satoru smiles in response, looking out to the group of them as well. 

“it’s basically world war sibling in here right now. but your boys are handling the sisters decently well. and….getting along for once.” 

you smile, looking over at sukuna and sammy on the left. 

“i know, right? it’s actually kind of cute. they keep looking over at each other every few minutes and giving each other thumbs up to confirm it’s still going good.” you mumble. 

“kind of expected. both of them are half responsible for making your worst nightmare happen on your birthday of all days, it makes sense that they’d put their shit aside for one second to make it at least a little bit better.” satoru states. 

sukuna looks over at you, shooting you a weary glance – like he’s trying to gauge how you’re feeling – which you shake off. 

“plus, at some point, they’re going to realize that it’s better for both of their interests to get along again. maybe this is when it’ll happen and then something good will come out of your birthday.” satoru adds. 

you pause, looking down to continue demolishing the frosting of the cake with the fork. 

“you’re quite hopeful.” 

“i mean, yeah. they’re brothers and they were starting to get close again and that’s part of it. but at some point, they’re going to understand that it’s going to cause a real block for both of them if they continue acting the way they do. sukuna’s your boyfriend but yuuji’s been the first person you’ve gone to your entire life. can’t exactly give one up for the other.” 

you smile. 

“you think about this an awful lot, don’t you?” 

“suguru and i talk about it in bed every night before we go to sleep. it is riveting.” satoru affirms. 

“i’m glad we could provide some entertainment for you.” you respond, giving him a smile. 

in the three seconds you look away, whatever tension that was boiling in the room seems to come to a head, when maki and mai seemed to have both reached for the last piece of cake – and both of their guard dogs, kugisaki and sammy, were ready to fight over it. 

“just split it in fucking half.” sukuna mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“that’s a great idea! i’ll do it for you guys, here.” yuuji responds, before getting four pairs of irritated eyes staring at him, as he retreats his hands. 

you sigh as you walk up to their sides, satoru on your heels, as you take the spot in between sukuna and yuuji. the two of them give you a pinched smile that barely meets their eyes. 

“i didn’t eat the slice that gojo brought me yet. you’re more than welcome to take mine.” you offer. 

“okay yeah, that’s fine. you guys can take the leftovers.” sammy responds. 

kugisaki rolls her eyes. 

“why should we take it? we reached for it first.” kugisaki mutters. 

mai turns to sammy, shaking her head. 

“it’s fine, sammy. you guys have it.” mai responds. 

“typical. trying to take the higher ground to look good, aren’t you?” maki asks. 

“well, leave it to you to make a scene at your friend’s birthday party.” mai mutters back. 

maki scoffs. 

“she’s your girlfriend’s sister. you’re just trying to do the right thing to look a certain way, like you always fucking do. it’s the same shit you do with our parents and –” maki starts. 

“okay, guys. there’s kind of a time and place for this type of thing and –” yuuji starts. 

“shut up, yuuji.” kugisaki and maki shout in unison. 

sukuna clenches his jaw.  

“okay, seriously. that’s enough. just take a beat and walk away. all four of you.” sukuna mutters, as the two of them walk off. 

sukuna’s tone is intimidating enough to get all of them to back off. and you lean back against the counter, watching as they both sulk off into their respective corners, as you rub the sides of your temples. sammy joins you at your side, taking an awkwardly long sip of her lemonade, as you sigh. 

“are you going to take yuuji and sukuna’s advice next time? i really do hate birthday parties.” you ask. 

sammy turns to her side, her eyes incredulous. 

“you can’t be serious. you’re not blaming that on me, right?” sammy asks. 

you widen your eyes. 

“what?” 

“i was just trying to do a nice thing for you. all of these people wanted to see you, for your birthday, and you were just kind of side sweeping all of them. how was i supposed to know that mai’s sister was going to be here?” 

you groan. 

“i was obviously joking, sammy. trying to lighten the mood and all.” 

“you’re the queen of passive aggressiveness. i know you weren’t. god forbid, we can’t all be like your boy toys and spend our entire life trying to read your mind since you can’t seem to say whatever is on it.” 

you roll your eyes. 

“so what if i wasn’t joking? you clearly need to hear it when all you do is just what you think is best. i wasn’t side sweeping any of them, most of them would have understood if i just wanted to spend the day the way i usually do.” 

yuuji tries to interject. 

“listen. i think we’re all feeling a lot of things right now –” 

“you don’t have to read my mind when there were two people right there telling you that i would have hated it. you just purposely chose not to listen.” you finish. 

“you’re shitty. i was just trying to be nice. and then you wonder why i never want to talk to you.” 

yuuji can tell it stings from the way your face falls. 

“sammy, come on. it’s –” yuuji starts. 

you suppose you should be thankful that no one got injured this time. because in the split second that sammy tries to shove yuuji away and tell him to butt out of it, he accidentally backs his elbow into the little rack, sending two of the mugs shattering to the floor. 

it takes one peak to realize that one of them is the one sukuna quite literally unboxed for you this morning. you didn’t even have a chance to use it. 

you turn to sukuna, who gives you what might be the most irritated look you’ve ever seen him muster, before he shuffles towards the closet for the broom. you’re sure that sammy takes some type of hint that it’s time for her to go and geto’s able to wrangle the rest of them to leave too as sukuna shuffles up the glass. 

it’s a quick exodus after that, the room so tense with the heat in the air that almost everyone was scrambling to get out to take a breath. sukuna isn’t halfway to closing the door on geto and gojo when the tears start bubbling out of your eyes, warm and hot on your cheeks. 

“oh, angel. come here.” sukuna whispers, opening up his arms as you dig your forehead into his shoulder. 

you can hear yuuji shuffling behind the two of you, boxing the last of the leftovers, as you cry into sukuna’s shoulder, making a considerably large snot and tear filled stain on your shirt. 

“i hate my birthday. this is…this is so fucking stupid, sukuna.” 

sukuna rubs circles into your back, before wrapping his hand around your cheek and wiping the mess of glitter and tears away. 

“like, i know i shouldn’t expect much but i just wanted to have a nice day. it’s so stupid that sammy’s so stubborn that she invited everyone. and i know i should have had fun but…but everything just kept going wrong.” 

sukuna can tell that you’re subconsciously reaching for your hair, pulling down on your locks and pulling out strays. because while you had left your picking at your skin habits for bad moments, you seemed to angrily pull at your head when you were tense. 

“turn around.” sukuna murmurs, as you heave a sigh and continue your rant as sukuna tasks himself with braiding your hair. 

“toji is megumi’s dad. and now i’m scared i made him feel like shit by bringing it up. and i know i didn’t do anything wrong but if someone just randomly brought up my deadbeat dad i wouldn’t feel great about it either.” 

“i’m sure he’s not mad at you, baby.” sukuna offers. 

“and fucking sammy. we were just getting along but…but she always does shit like this. i wasn’t blaming her for what happened, but i damn well could have. if literally the two people who know me the best are teling you that i wouldn’t enjoy this, why would you go ahead and do it anyways? and then on top of that, a whole fucking scene where she ended up yelling at me.” 

“do you want me to kill her?” 

“would you? she pushed yuuji and it broke our mugs.”  

sukuna finishes the end of the braid and secures it with an elastic, before placing his hands on your shoulder and swinging you back around to face him. 

“i’ll get you another one.” 

“aren’t they limited edition?” 

“i’ll bid on ebay. it’s not a big deal.” 

“sukuna.” 

“i had to bid on the first two on ebay anyways. i can literally just do it again baby, it’s not a big deal.” 

two feet away, yuuji feels like he’s intruding. and living in an alternate universe. because it’s the first time he’s seen you like this with someone else – venting so openly, accepting his affections so freely as he presses a kiss to your cheek and pulls at your wrists to stop you from picking at your skin. 

and sukuna seems like an entire stranger. brushing his fingers against your cheek so gently, the tone in his voice so uncharacteristically soft as he tries to comfort you. bidding on flowery mugs on ebay, braiding your hair to get you to stop pulling at it. 

yuuji feels guilty. maybe he really did have it all wrong. because the things that sukuna was doing were so arbitrary, but they were making all the difference at curbing the tears pouring out of your eyes.

maybe he just didn't get it.

“now mention the good things.” sukuna states. 

you glare at him. 

“there are no good things.” 

sukuna spares a glance over his shoulder to yuuji, gesturing for him to join, before looking back at you. 

“really? you can’t even think of one?”

yuuji catches his drift as he walks up to your side, slinging his arm around your shoulder. 

“you’re a smart girl. you can figure it out.” yuuji offers. 

you roll your eyes. 

“and now you two are ganging up on me. is this really the time?” 

the two of them laugh, even more delighted when you crack a smile for the first time in hours, before the two of them give each other a nod and wrap both of their arms around you. 

“still nothing good?” yuuji asks. 

“nope. you’re both crushing me to death. and you smell.” 

sukuna presses a kiss to your forehead and yuuji pinches at the side of your cheek. 

“how about now?” sukuna asks. 

“you guys are kind of annoying, you know that?” 

you pull back, placing a hand on both of their shoulders, and darting your eyes between the two of them. 

“are you guys being buddies for my birthday or are you actually making up?” 

sukuna rolls his eyes. 

“obviously the latter. we aren’t sisters.” 

“you’re fucking kidding. like the two of you are any better.” you state.  

yuuji scoffs. 

“they broke two whole fucking ceramic mug. and ruined a birthday party. sisters are a whole different ballpark.” 

“you punched me in the face and ruined a family dinner. how is that any different?” 

sukuna and yuuji both scoff, before yuuji reaches forward to pinch your cheek. 

“are you going to hold that over my head forever?” 

“basically. for both of you actually.” 

sukuna shuffles over to the fridge, tasking himself with stacking the freshly made boxes of cake in the fridge. 

“i think we’ll live.” 

--

three days later, with all the leftover heaviness from your birthday gone, yuuji takes you out for drinks on your birthday. and while sammy gave you a halfhearted apology, you swallowed it down for the tiem being and let it go. 

things were well – with yuuji and sukuna getting along and things being somewhat on the come up with sammy. though that feeling only lasts a few hours before sukuna sends you six calls, the seventh of which you finally answer when you make your way out of the bar. 

“hi sukuna. you okay?” 

you hear a sniffle on the other side of the phone. 

“how drunk are you?” he asks, his voice raspy. 

“what?” 

“can you drive or do i need to come get you guys?” 

you cover your free ear with your hand, trying to tune out the blaring music, as you press the phone against your ear harder. 

“i can drive, i barely had half of my margarita. is everything –” 

“you need to come to my mom’s house. as soon as possible. leave now.” 

“is everything fi –” 

“my dad is dead. as soon as you can, y/n.” 

--

an: ok my set up was done sorry for this ass chapter again the next few will be considerably better since i've been planning them out properly

taglist: @porridgesblog @k0z3me @sugu-love @yihona-san06 @sweetenertea @skzismyhome @mykyoon @violetmatcha @rebeccawinters @shotenvinsoot  @itzmeme @gojoswifeyyys-world @cutiejg @chilichopsticks @ghostreadersthings @charlie-xo @whoami-72 @heijihattorisgf @megu-meow @complexivelovely @multiplefandomthings @hoebuns @lzaj19 @glossygreene @ramluvr @sureconfused @najaemism @manduse @imhorn1help @gamergirl5125 @r0ckst4rjk @invisible-mori @isaacdaknight @wishmemel @gyros-cum-sock @wishmemel @suftsunshine @i0099 @cowgirlikets @haitanibros0007 @stuffeddeer @yoontaedotin @ec3lipsy @armani78 @awkwardaardvarkforever @kereseth @leave-rae-alone @ruruvia @princess-ackerman @jjkwritingss @lilkiwikiara @opchara @telepathicheartss @starriesworlds @raechu11 @exprimidordefresas @nxxrxm @aalloochaat @strangehuman101 @tzutology

#seeingivywrites! #bsfs older brother sukuna! #sukuna #sukuna x you #sukuna x reader #sukuna x y/n #sukuna fluff #sukuna angst #ryomen sukuna #ryomen sukuna x you #ryomen sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna x y/n #ryomen sukuna fluff #ryomen sukuna angst #ryomen #ryomen x you #ryomen x reader #ryomen x y/n #ryomen fluff #ryomen angst #sukuna ryomen #sukuna ryomen x you #sukuna ryomen x reader #sukuna ryomen fluff #sukuna ryomen angst #jjk #jjk x you #jjk x reader #jjk x y/n #jjk fluff

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Want Some Help? | Jeon Jungkook One Shot

Summary: When your boyfriend can't seem to satisfy you anymore your roommate decides to lend a helping hand. Pairing: f!reader x Jungkook (crackhead roommate energy) Word Count: 4.7k (got a little carried away but when don't I 😂) Warnings: Explicit language, smut and cheating. He spits in her mouth at the end lol and hella pet names. Aight that's all you're getting lol gotta read the rest to find out. a/n: This is the last thing I'll be posting before I go on a little hiatus. I'll make a post in a couple of days to explain but I'll let this circulate a bit before I do. I hope you enjoy it! (barely edited lol) Requested by a lovely anon 💜

The sounds in my room are obscene to say the least, more from Brian's side than mine today though. I don't know what it is but something about him isn't doing it for me anymore. Is it the fact that I have a new Adonis for a roommate? Perhaps, but Brian's need to overcompensate for it makes situations like these even more awkward than they need to be. 

"You like that?" he asks, him being so close to cumming with me barely working my way up to it. "Yeah" I respond breathily, trying my best to play the part so this can hopefully be over sooner rather than later. "Fuck" he groans at the sight and sound of my little gasp when he just barely hits that spot but I know he won't be able to figure out how to do it again. 

Brian isn't a selfish lover but the dynamic between us has changed ever since Jungkook moved in... 

He hasn't been as focused on me which now that I think about it is pretty damn selfish. I'm just making excuses for him at this point. He's more focused on his ego and playing it up for my roommate than he is into loving his girlfriend. I don't know how much longer I can be in this relationship if he keeps acting like this. 

"Shit I'm close, are you?" he asks and I nod my head furiously, thanking whoever might've been listening to my plea and seconds later he's cumming inside the condom and I do my best to copy the moan that I let out when he's actually done a good job at satisfying me and it seems to be convincing enough since he's giving me that cocky grin before he kisses me again. 

"You wanna shower?" he asks and I shake my head, "You go ahead, I'll shower later. Plus, didn't you say you had work early tomorrow morning? I'll let you get cleaned up in peace so you can head out" I say and he nods his head before going to the bathroom and throwing me a towel before closing the door and turning on the shower. 

Luckily he didn't try to clean me up because there's definetly not much to clean since I didn't cum.

Once I'm finished and I've made myself somewhat presentable I put on my robe and head out into the kitchen to grab myself a glass of water. "Have fun?" my roommate says from the living room couch as I pass by on my way to the kitchen. "Shit Jungkook you scared me" I say, holding my hand to my chest. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to. Have a good time tonight?" he asks again, his eyes dragging up and down my form, lingering on my chest and when I look down I see that my nipples are very visible unbeknownst to me since I hadn't cared to think about the fact that Jungkook might've come home. 

I wrap my robe tighter around me and cross my arms as I head into the kitchen. "Yes I did thank you very much. Did you?" I spit out quickly, hoping to avoid talking about my sex life with him. "It was alright. I had a long week so I decided to turn in early but um..." he trails off as he watches Brian walk down the hallway and into the kitchen, giving Jungkook a stern look before coming over to talk to me. 

"You alright?" he asks before placing a way too intimate kiss on my lips in front of Jungkook who I see has turned his head back to the TV and isn't bothering to pay attention to the game Brian is trying to play with him. "Yeah I'm fine. Are you heading out?" I ask, very hopeful that this visit will come to an end and thankfully luck is on my side this time. 

"Yeah I gotta get going but I'll come over again soon" he says, looking over at Jungkook before giving me one last kiss and heading towards the door to put on his shoes. "Text me when you get home!" I say and he winks at me before walking out leaving me rolling my eyes once the door is shut. 

I slump against the counter, glad it's finally over and when I look back over at Jungkook he's not too interested in whatever he has playing on the TV anymore, his focus solely on me. 

"What?" I ask him, brows scrunched together and trying to figure out what his deal is. "Why'd you fake it?" he asks and I choke on my spit, caught off guard by the unfiltered question. "Excuse me?" I ask, scandalized that he had been listening enough to even catch onto something like that. 

"You probably wanted it to be over huh?" he asks, assuming what the answer was and unfortunately that was the case but I'm not letting him have the satisfaction of being right. "I don't know what you're talking about" I say, turning on the sink to fill up my cup again but before I can even pull it out from under the tap he's taking it out of my hand. 

"Hey!" I call out, trying to grab it but he holds it just out of reach. "Can't keep you satisfied anymore?" he asks raising a brow at me, a smug look on his face since it seems he can read me like a book based off of my body language alone. "He keeps me very satisfied thank you very much, not that it's any of your business" I say and reach for my cup which he thankfully relinquishes. 

"I know you're lying" he say and I cock a brow at him, not knowing how he could possibly know the truth. "Oh yeah? What makes you say that?" I press, placing the cup on the counter and crossing my arms over my chest, forgetting the fact that I'm completely naked under this and giving him a better view of my cleavage. 

"You're not very quiet when you do it by yourself you know. What do you use? A dildo? One of those little roses? Maybe both?" he questions leaning in closer to me and making my eyes bug out of my head. "How did yo-" "These walls are paper thin doll, so believe me when I say that I can hear every little thing you do to yourself in there. But please, don't stop. I would hate to be deprived of that pretty little voice of yours even though it is quite distracting sometimes" he says, grabbing my cup and holding it between us as a clear invitation to leave if I so desire. 

I take it and rush back to my room, slamming the door behind me and I can hear him chuckle from the kitchen. Fuck he really wasn't kidding when he said these walls are thin.

I flop down onto my bed facedown and scream into my pillow, utterly mortified that he's heard me ever since he got here. I need to wear a muzzle at this rate  since there's no way I'm stopping just for his sake. A girl's got needs and if Brian isn't going to fulfill them then I've gotta do it myself. 

I get up off my bed after I finish my little temper tantrum and change the sheets before taking my robe off and jumping in the shower to hopefully wash off all of Brian's scent. I can't stand to think about him anymore especially after what Jungkook said about him...

After finishing up my shower and drying off my hair I reach into my drawer to get my tried and true rose bud to help me out tonight. Yes he guessed right but I'll be damned if I ever let him see it.

I lay down and try to turn it on and after I've used it for a minute or two it just shuts off. "Fuck" I groan out, forgetting the fact that I had forgotten to grab new batteries for it. The TV remote has the same size batteries right? It's worth a shot to go check since I'm pretty sure he's gone to bed already. 

Walking out to the living room in my robe again I'm met with Jungkook still sitting on the couch watching the same thing he had been when I first came out here. 

I try to turn back around once I've seen him but he stops me by asking me if I needed something. "I just wanted to borrow the batteries from the remote but you're still using it so no worries" I say and try to leave but he stops me again. "I'm pretty sure I bought a new pack of batteries not too long ago" he says and I sheepishly admit I used the last of them. 

"Oh okay well here, I can just finish this up on my laptop" he says while taking the batteries out and putting them in my hand, giving me the source of my pleasure for tonight. "T-thanks" I stutter and close my finger around them as if they would disappear if I let them go. "Is everything okay?" he asks and I nod my head while walking down the hallway, not knowing that he's hot on my heels. 

"What do you need the batteries for?" he asks as we're a few feet away from my door making me jump. "Didn't know I was behind you?" he chuckles and I glare at him, hoping that'll make him back off but it does the exact opposite, causing him to smirk and glance around my room and soon notices the rosebud that I stupidly left in the middle of my bed. 

"I was right" he smirks leaving me groaning and rolling my eyes as I storm into my room, not bothering to close the door since I know he's not going to leave me alone anytime soon. 

"What? You know I'm just teasing you. You're free to do as you please doll, I'm not gonna stop you. I was even nice and paused my movie so you can have your fun too" he says, leaning against my doorframe and since he's being shameless I will too, deciding to switch the batteries out and turn it on to check but unfortunately it does the same thing and dies less than thirty seconds after I turn it on.

"Shit" I curse under my breath and he stifles his laughter by covering his mouth. "Yeah yeah laugh it up. You're just lucky all you need is your right hand to get off. Can you just leave me alone?" I ask, laying back down on my bed, exacerbated and ready to call it a night since the odds have flipped again. My good luck for the night being Brian's quick departure. 

I don't pay attention to how high my robe has ridden and it seems as though one of my legs has slipped through the gap giving him a full view of my upper thigh and hip, one wrong move leaving me exposed to him. 

He gulps but I don't bother to notice and only do when he clears his throat. "What do you want?" I say, throwing my arm over my face trying to hide the shame that all of this has caused me but fail miserably. "Want some help?" he asks and I sit up right away at his words, "What?" I ask, my reaction as dramatic as if he had grown two heads. 

"Do you want some help? I can get you off real quick if you'd like? It'll be like one roomie helping the other" he offers as causally as if he had asked to borrow five bucks. "You're joking, right?" I scoff but it seems as he very well is not as he take a step into my room and he watches for signs for protest but I give him none. 

"Not really no. I'm simply offering to help a friend in need. That's what we are right? Friends?" he questions as he takes a step closer. 

He calls out my name when I've stayed silent for a while, not being able to take my eyes off him even if I tried. As long as he stays in this room he's got my attention. "R-right, friends" I respond and he takes a seat on my bed, a respectful distance away but it feels as if he was already on top of me. 

"But Brian-" "Doesn't need to know" he says, cutting me off and making it harder and harder for me to say no. He scoots closer to me and takes the rosebud out of my hands, unbothered by what it's used for and simply places it on the nightstand next to me. "It's your move" he says, leaning closer to me, his breath fanning my face and I look at his eyes, mine going back and forth before his look down at my lips. 

"Tell me to stop" he says, making things easier for me but when he's mere millimeters away I lean in. 

It's soft and sweet at first, our lips connecting and breaking a few times, still giving me an opening to pull away and say stop but after a few more kisses like that he deepens the kiss. While keeping our lips locked for longer he angles his head a bit more, his tongue now in my mouth and soon he beckons me to do the same and I do which gives him even more of a green light. 

He places his hand on my cheek and angles me just right before he switches up and presses down on my shoulder a little and leans in closer as a silent plea for me to lay down. 

I crawl back on the bed instead and he follow as I lay down on the pillows with him hovering over me. "Fuck been thinking about this view for a long time" he admits and before I can say anything in response his lips are already on mine again.

"Can I take this off?" he asks, toying with the tie that is seconds from coming undone of it's own accord. "Yeah" I say, adrenaline pumping through my veins at the thought of doing this, of cheating with my roommate who is someone I won't be able to run away from after this.

He pulls the belt and in one smooth motion it's undone.

The way he looks at me as he takes both sides of the robe off of my body is a sight that could make me cum untouched if given the chance. Watching his eyes darken up as they roam all over my body until he's tracing them back up to mine where it's as if a whole new man is hovering over me, one that looks so insatiable and ready to break me at any moment. 

"Fuck you're so pretty" he say, leaning back down to kiss me but soon trails his lips down my neck and to he valley between my breast. He settles on kissing one of them and slowly brings his lips closer to my nipple where he looks up at me for permission which I give right away. He smirks and puts his thumb and pointer fingers into his mouth and places them on the opposite one twisting and toying with it before he places his mouth one the one in front of him. 

Once his lips make contact my fingers immediately lace through his hair, needing to ground myself with something and he hums around in in approval when I tug on it a bit. 

"You sensitive here doll?" he asks when he lets go of it, the cool air causing a chill when it hits my damp skin, him having made a mess of it from his clear desire to do this. I let out a whimper in response and he nips at it before switching to my other breast to give it the same time and attention he gave the first.

My hips start to buck up after a couple more seconds of him switching between my breasts and lips when he hears those pretty voices he had talked about before, wanting to taste them on his tongue this time. 

"Someone's eager" he says against lips but I turn my face to the side leaving him kissing the column of my neck until I'm squirming about leaving him smiling against my skin. 

"Does my doll want more?" he asks and I whimper in response, not being able to bring myself to utter words of confirmation when I have a man like him already causing me so much pleasure, but it's not enough. 

I need more.

"Jungkook please" I breathe out, done with this teasing and so worked up already from not gaining release earlier. "Please what?" he asks trailing his lips back up to mine and kissing them one last time before pulling back and waiting for my answer. "Please help me cum" I plead, wanting what he had promised me earlier. 

He chuckles dryly and places a kiss on the corner or my mouth before responding. "Here I am taking my time with you but you still only want one thing. Don't you like it when I play with you like this?" he asks, trailing middle finger down my torso until he's come in contact with my clit, sliding further down past it and checking to see what my true physical reactions have been to his ministrations. 

"Seems like you do" he says, circling around my entrance with that same finger when he feels how wet I am. "This all for me?" he asks and close my eyes once he's dipped one of his fingers in while using his thumb to draw circles around my clit but once my breathing picks up a bit everything stops. 

"What?" I pant, confused as to why he would stop. "I asked you a question. Is this all for me y/n?" he rasps, looking down at where his fingers had once been and cursing when he notices how wet they are. "Y-yes, all for you" I choke out and he leans in as if he was going to kiss me but stops before I can even brush my lips against his. 

"Can you say my name princess?" he whispers, posed as a question but we both know the only way this continues is if I comply. "Jungkook" I whisper out, his name now tasting different on my tongue. It's almost if I have to put more effort into pronouncing each letter, my throat suddenly running dry. 

"Louder doll. It's the least you can do to help me forget how you've moaned his name in here time and time again. Probably another sad excuse of an act to fake your high" he says, going back to playing with my center, his finger going in and out at a faster rate now before easing his way into putting in a second one. 

"Fuck Jungkook" I groan, this time a little louder than before that grants me a kiss on my neck, his motives to stay away from my lips being to hear all of my reactions to what he's doing to me. Wanting to discover new sounds and reactions that sound more genuine and are ones that I can't even hope to hold back with the pleasure he's giving me.

"That's it, keep going. Want your voice to be the thing I remember most about this, hear it over and over again, ingrained in my memory. That way when I forget how you taste it'll be something that I'll still be able to come back to. Hearing how I make you feel, not yourself and definetly not your sorry excuse of a boyfriend, me. Let me hear how I make you feel" he rasps in my ear making me shiver and arch my back off the mattress. 

"Jungkook please, please" I beg with my ego gone, the only thoughts in my head being him and how incredible it'll feel once he's made me cum. "Just like that doll, scream my name if you need to, I don't mind" his calm cool and collected tone of voice driving me mad. How can he be whispering these things in my ear and taunting me like this while I'm a complete mess under him, barely being able to breathe let alone think straight. 

I pulse around his fingers and he can tell that I'm close when I let out a moan after he hits a certain spot, hitting it over and over again, knowing that that's going to be the thing that'll make me come undone. 

He leans back and looks down at me, his flushed cheeks and swollen lips make me insane, his calm and cool façade in my mind broken when I see the way he's watching me. Taking in every gasp, every moan, every whimper of his name and it makes him want to try even harder to get me to that high, needing to see what I look like when I cum.

"Just like that doll, you're doing so well, sound so pretty" he murmurs and with a few more words of encouragement I'm coming undone. When I try to look away he grabs my chin and makes me keep eye contact making everything seem even more intense. 

Once the rising and falling of my chest has slowed down and his playful fingers inside me gain him whines of overstimulation he finally takes them out. 

I expect him to get up and wash his hands but instead places them in his mouth, moaning once my taste hits his tongue leaving me swallowing dryly, needing that glass of water now. 

"Open your mouth" he says after he takes his fingers out and I comply curiously, doing as he asks and the next moment I feel him spitting in my mouth before smashing his lips on mine one last time. 

After kissing me senseless and exhaustion flooding my system my kisses become sloppy and he laughs against my lips before finally pulling back. "Where are you going?" I ask and he laughs again at my groggy state. I'm going to go get a towel to clean you up" he says and I sit up quickly, my mind slowly clearing up. 

"Wait, what about you?" I ask, taking note of the tent in his pants but he simply chuckles and brings back a warm towel just like he said. I had expected the same treatment Brian gave me today but when I try to reach for it he pulls back. "No you lay down, you're still out of it" he says, trying to be serious but also satisfied that he only had to use his fingers put me in this state. 

After he finishes cleaning me up he gets up and throws the towel in the laundry basket and comes back to sit on the bed next to me, cupping my face and studying my features. "You okay?" he asks, clearly sensing regret already. 

"Yeah I'm fine. I just never thought I would do something like this" I admit and he mouths a quiet 'Oh' and takes his hand off me but I grab it before he can get too far. "I'm sorry I'm just confused and clearly not thinking straight" I say, trying to backtrack knowing that I've hurt him by saying that. 

"Thank you for doing this for me" I say timidly and he laughs. "What?" I ask, clearly not understanding what about this situation is funny. 

"I'm sorry" he says, his laughing soon dying down and I wait in silence until he's finally composed himself. "I'm sorry it's just not everyday that your hot roommate thanks you for finger fucking them" he chuckles and my cheeks heat up, thoroughly embarrassed now that he's put it like that.

I reach behind me and grab a pillow and throw it at his face which makes him laugh even more. "Jungkook stop this isn't funny" I whine and he stops a couple minutes later. "Alright alright I'm sorry, you were just getting way too serious about it" he explains and wipes away a fake tear. 

"This is serious! I just cheated on my boyfriend with you" I exclaim and he shakes his head, placing the pillow I threw at him out of my reach and sighs before responding. "You and I both know that you've been ready to end that relationship for a while now" he says and I open my mouth but the words die in my throat.

"That's what I thought" he says and we sit there in silence for a moment while I pull the sheet over me. "Just break up with him already, I can clearly see that you're miserable" he points out and I hate that he's right. 

"Why do you care? Should I break up with him so I can mess around with you?" I ask and he shrugs his shoulders. "We can do that if you want to, but from a friend's point of view I think your life is so much better without him" he says and I sigh, knowing again that he's right, telling me the things that I've thought about over and over again but just never did anything about. 

"I'll talk to him" I say and he nods his head. "Good because with the number I did on your neck he's definetly gonna know that something went down" he laughs and my eyes go wide, forgetting to tell him to not leave any marks but I know I'm fucked. 

"Here" he says, grabbing the hand mirror I have on my dresser and I know from one glance that hoodies and turtlenecks will be my new signature look until this all clears up.

"Jungkook" I growl and he giggles, never taking my scolding tone seriously. "What? Don't act like you didn't like it" he chuckles and I sit up, grabbing that pillow and throwing it at him again. "I hate you" I huff but he laughs again before placing a knee on my bed and making it dip under his weight. 

My breath hitches as he inches closer and I can't do anything but lay down, slowly trying to run away from his lips in my mind but falling back into that same position we had been in for who knows how long.

Once I'm flat on my back and he's hovering over me again I swallow as best as I can, making him let out a dry chuckle. "Wanna run that one by me again doll?" he asks, cocking a brow at me and I press my thighs together, hating myself for doing it but needing some sort of something to keep me sane but it's of no uses when he leans in closer and I hold my breath, not knowing what he's doing or where this is going but when I close my eyes I granted with that same chuckle again. 

"Goodnight princess" he says against my lips, his weight gone off my bed seconds later leaving me sitting up in process. "Wha-" "My pretty doll needs to figure out who she wants to play with if she wants more" he taunts and I cross my arms and pout a little, hoping that'll get him to come back. 

"Aw don't be like that. After all the work I put in to help you feel good. I thought you would've been more grateful, not greedy" he taunts and I roll my eye before uttering a quiet 'Goodnight'. "Thanks for giving me memories to help me fix this" he says, looking down at the very clear outline of his hard on and I swallow again, intimidated from finally being able to see his full size. 

"I promise, if you make up your mind...I'll make it fit" he teases and winks at me granting him a scowl in response. He grabs the door handle at the same time I grab the pillow and throw it which he blocks by closing the door. "Goodnight doll" he says one last time and shuts it behind him. 

I spend the rest of my night willing myself to sleep and when I finally start to doze off I start hearing Jungkook's soft moans and grunts leaving me wide awake again. Now I really know he wasn't lying...

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[justleaveatnine]

pink in the night - matty healy. part four.

you join the 1975 on tour as an actress starring in the narrative portion of at their very best alongside the lead singer, matty healy. he’s got big ideas and wants to redefine what a concert is, blurring the lines between fiction and reality. on stage together each night, it starts to feel less and less like acting. but is it the same for him?

masterlist.

cw: drug use, smoking, blood

wc: 4.6k

—

Boston 

“This is a good one." George pops a candy into his mouth before continuing.

"Do not go with your dad to the 1975’s new tour I repeat do not go with your dad Matty pulls on a girls hair and kisses her all weird IT WILL BE VERY AWKWARD.” He's laughing so hard he struggles to get the sentence out as he reads it off his phone. 

“Hey, I do not kiss weird! Gimme that-“ Matty reaches across the tour bus to try and pull the phone out of George’s hand, who swats him away. 

Ross finds another tweet while Matty is distracted. “No, no, this one is even better: Matty I know you made this show to prove you know what you’re doing but it won’t work I see you for the virgin that you are." He laughs, shaking his head. "They keep you so humble.” 

“What is this, The Bully Matty Show? Jesus Christ." Matty scoffs to an audience of laughter. 

He turns around to you, eyes wide. "You gonna defend our show to these knobs, or what?"

You smile, lips pursed and shaking your head. "Nah, I'm good. This is too entertaining." He scoffs, and turns around.

"They aren't saying anything bad about her, you know. Just you," George snickers, pointing towards him with his thumb.

"Well deserved," Adam quips from the corner.

"Oh fuck off, Hann!" Matty says to a round of laughter. 

Ross pipes up again. "Wait, wait, wait, this one's the best: I found the girl's height online, has to be inaccurate because we know Matty is 5'7", she can't be shorter," 

"5'7"?" Matty nearly shouts, incredulous. He crosses his hands and sits back on the couch beside you. "They keep bloody lowering it," he grumbles.

You nudge him with your elbow and he turns to face you. "Should I tweet that I'm actually 5'0 tall in real life? Then they'll say you're, what, 5'4"?" you ask with a cheeky smile on your face. 

"Don't you even dare." His grimness makes you laugh, bringing your hand to your face to muffle it.

New York City

You’ve never experienced anything like this before. As you walk through the club with Polly, people come up to you left and right, complimenting your performance and asking for photos. Your mind is a blur as you push through the crowd, moving against the unidentifiable bodies. A voice you can’t locate the body of shouts, “Amazing show!” along with your name. Your on a high, the alcohol, adrenaline, and compliments mixing through your veins and puppetering you through the club as your mind gets hazy. The music is just a blur in the back of your mind as you round a corner too get off the dance floor.

You reach the stage from the side, where one of the Ion Pack guys whose name you feel bad about not remembering gives you a hug. You can’t really hear what he is saying over the pounding bass, but you nod. You're drunk and overwhelmed, you can't bring yourself to do much more. It seems to suffice as he continues past you, patting you on the back with a smile.

You walk towards George and Matty, the former of which is operating the DJ booth as the latter dances and shouts something in the others ear. George laughs as Matty continues to dance, and fiddles with some of the knobs in front of him.

When Matty notices you, he pulls you into a hug that subsequently causes the audience to cheer. The reaction makes your head spin a little, your stomach churn. These people know you now. This is just another part of the show for them, more content.

“How do you handle this?” you ask into his ear. 

He pulls back. “Handle what, the club?” he asks, confused. 

“All the attention. Just tonight alone has made me go a bit mental.” You rub at your eyes. "I don't really know how to think about all of it, all of this," you gesture to the crowd, many of whom are watching to two of you speak, wishing they could hear the words exchanged.

He thinks for a moment. “It never gets easy, I’ll say. But you get used to it. Besides, it was just a long time coming for you, I’ll tell you that much. Well deserved. And you've got me with you the whole time, darling. I promise.” He has to shout to have it heard over the music, but the sentiment rings softly within you.

How does he always manage to do this, make you unravel with just a few unsuspecting words? He stares at you as you continue to think, overwhelmed by his presence combined with everything in the club. You’re not sure how he’s not sweating under the leather jacket he’s got on. You realize he’s started talking again, the overstimulation warping your senses.

He rubs your arm, a comforting smile on his face. "Don’t stress yourself out, love. I can practically hear you thinking.” You hope to god that he can’t. All your thoughts lead back to him, anyways. 

Camden

Matty makes you promise to a signal. 

"I won't deviate from the script if you won't agree to this. You won't win, love." He says, sipping his pint.

You know he would never do something that would cross your lines, make you uncomfortable. Whether that is on or off stage. He's staring at you from his position across the table, fingers rattling against the surface. The whole band is at a bar, enjoying the calmer night before the show tomorrow. The afterparties have been fun, sure, letting off the adrenaline in a blur of alcohol and dancing against bodies you can't place the identity of. But sitting with everyone in a bar not too far from your hotel and yelling over the music at each other until your voices go hoarse is your favourite way to spend the downtime.

You sigh, thinking. "Fine. I'll, uh, I'll blink three times rapidly if I want you to stop something. That good?" you acquiesce. 

Matty's pleased. The alcohol inflates the level of victory, you can see it in his eyes. You can't let the feeling last too long. The shots you did affect you too, loosening the filter between your mind and your mouth. An idea floats through your tipsy head, and against your better judgement, you begin to speak.

"There's nothing you could do that would rattle me though, so don't be looking to hard for it." 

"Is that right?" he takes another sip, smirk appearing.

"I think I'd be able to make you flinch before I do up there." You say, cockily. You're not sure if you'll ever be able to affect him the way he does to you, but your mouth is moving of its own volition. The words are creating themselves. Even though you know this isn't the smartest conversation to have with your employer that you have a crush on, growing stronger with each touch and glance. (You try to remind yourself that its just the performance, but your heart never seems to get the message).

"Is that a challenge, love?" He's entertained, smile growing. 

"If you want it to be," you shoot back, quick. A smarter woman wouldn't do this. She wouldn't meddle with her career like this, her one shot at her dream. But right now all you can think about is the man across from you, smiling cheekily, curls bouncing with each movement of his head. You can't be bothered to think too rationally. You're greedy. You just want to keep him like this, staring at you so intently.

"Don't set yourself up for a game you're bound to lose, even with your plays you know I've spent way more time becoming comfortable in front of the crowds." He's self-assured. 

"Winner buys drinks for the rest of the tour?" You can't stop yourself. You're not even sure if you'd win this challenge you've built. You just want to see it play out. You've started the game, but all you really care about are his moves.

"You've got yourself a deal," he shakes his head with a smile. You tap your drinks together in agreement. What are you doing.

Washington D.C.

You exhale, letting out the smoke from the cigarette. Your attempts to quit before the tour have been unsuccessful, and the long day made you itch for a moment of reprieve, the nicotine rushing through your brain. 

The cold air stings your arms, goosebumps forming as you slightly shiver. You went on a walk along the Potomac, people watching and chain-smoking. Now you're leant against the tour bus, waiting to finish the cigarette that you've sworn to yourself will be your last for the night.

Your peace is disturbed by the tour bus door swinging open, and Matty walking down the steps. He's on his phone, and doesn't notice you until he gets completely out of the bus, looking around. His eyes immediately land on the cigarette in your hand, and his mouth opens in slight shock.

"Why didn’t you tell me you actually smoked?" he asks, incredulously, while pointing towards your hand. "I went through all the effort of getting sets of fake cigarettes for the show!"

You sigh, taking another drag. "I'm sorry. I was trying to quit then, but evidently I have not been too successful." you gesture into the air with it between your fingers. 

He walks towards you, and you wordlessly pass the cigarette to him. He takes a puff before handing back it back to you. You can see a ever-so-faint tinge of your dark lipstick on his lips, transferred from the cigarette. You force the thought to not linger, taking another drag.

Matty hums. "Does that mean I can use a real one in the scene? The bit in Robbers?"

You tsk, putting on an air of disappointment. "Wow, promoting and encouraging addiction? Not very PC of you, Matty. Whatever will Twitter say?"

"Fuck off. Give me the cig," he says, smiling. The two of you smoke the small bit it has left in comfortable silence, the chill from the river rippling around you.

Atlanta

The bus is driving down a seemingly endless highway, the surroundings staying identical now matter how far you drive. Your holding a book in your lap, but you're barely reading it. Your eyes keep flicking up to Matty.

He's sat at one of the seating booths, hastily writing in a notebook. It's moleskin, and from your vantage point you can see what appears to be small drawings, almost doodles, alongside lines of indecipherable prose.

You wonder if he's writing a song, ideas for another leg of the show. More fantasies for you to act out. In this one, will he be cruel, acting out a performance of hatred? Maybe he'll be ambivalent, using you as simply an object in the narrative. Your mind spirals through possibilities, and the reality of the situation is long gone to your imagination.

You return to focusing on him. His hair is dangling over his forehead, dark curls framing his face so beautifully. You want to run your fingers through them, ruin the tightly coiled ringlets and tug on them until he gasps. You make a mental note to do it during the show tonight, the one time you're allowed to act on your desires for him.

He’s wearing a blue sweatshirt, and grey sweatpants that look so good it should be illegal. Your mouth runs dry as you continue to stare at his body, tracing him with your eyes. He lets out a small sigh, which causes your eyes to flick up to his face. He's frowning slightly, shaking his head as he erases a line. He runs a hand through his hair, pulling on it as you imagined yourself doing.

Your eyes dart back down to your book before he can catch you watching. You stare at the page for minutes, but your eyes don't read a single word.

Nashville

"Excuse me, uhm, are you the girl in The 1975 show?"

You turn around. You're in a corner shop, grabbing some snacks before the bus leaves. There's a girl who can't be more than sixteen wearing an At Their Very Best shirt, holding several magazines and a pint of ice cream. She looks almost awestruck. 

You smile, excited. You're getting recognized. By fans. This is insane. "Yeah, that's me. You're actually the first person to come up to me, this is kind of crazy."

"Crazy for you? Oh my gosh, this is insane for me! I've been a fan of the band for ages, and I couldn't stop watching you up there! I've never seen an actor in a tour before, you are so cool!" She's speaking at the speed of light. You don't even have a moment to speak before she continues.

"I just think the show's so amazing, what you guys are doing is so cool, oh my gosh, I can't believe this is happening, this is so-"

You put your hands on her shoulders. She's so excited, you're worried she'll faint from the lack of air.

"Please breathe, I don't need you to pass out on me," you say through a concerned laugh.

She takes a deep breath, and you match her. You stand in the aisle for a moment, breathing with her. It's a little ridiculous, but you couldn't be happier. "God, this is so embarrassing," she says, face cringing. 

"Hey, hey, no need to be embarrassed. This is actually really cool for me, too. Big milestone. Do you, uh, want a picture or anything? Can I give you something?"

You take a picture with her, and give her a big hug before she leaves. She tells you she will be in GA again at a later date, and you promise her you'll look for her in the audience. As she walks away, a big smile grows on your face. You're getting recognized. Not getting hollered at by an old man at the bus stop asking if you're the girl from that one commercial, or accepting the mild reactions from acquaintances you show the few bits of recorded work you've done. But someone telling you they loved something you're in, something that you're so so proud of. You walk back to the tour bus, humming and elated. 

Grand Prairie

"You're telling me, the man who constantly is taking about his love for Cronenberg and hired me to act out a creepy love fantasy every night hasn't watched Bones and All yet?" you ask while laughing, aghast. The two of you are sat on the couch of the tour bus, killing time while the crew is setting up. George went to workout in temporary gym that has been constructed in the backstage area, and Adam is lying in his bunk with headphones on. 

"I've been a little focused on making and album and writing this show that you're in, thank you very much. And it's not that creepy."

"You pull my hair and stroke my face while you sing about smashing my head open," you say, straight-faced.

He sighs, exasperated. "It's a metaphor," he practically whines. 

"And so is Bones and All. We're doing a movie night, pass me the remote." You get the TV set up while Matty makes a bowl of popcorn in the microwave, and brings it back to the couch as the movie begins.

Ross walks out of the main suite during one of the more particularly gruesome scenes. "Jesus, guys, could't put this on a laptop or something?" he says, shielding his eyes. "The hell even is this?"

"Shhhhh!" Matty hisses at him, and you snort. 

Houston

You're on stage, and he's singing Inside Your Mind. You're sat frozen on the chair, as you always are. His hand is stroking your face, fingers dancing down your temple to your jawline, tracing the shape of you as if to memorize it.

His hand moves to the side, his thumb leaving whispers of touches on your cheek. It keeps moving, further and further until his thumb reaches your mouth. Slowly, he runs his thumb across your top lip, tracing your cupids bow. You choke internally. You know what he's doing. He's trying to get you to flinch, give him a victory. You've set up this situation where he seeks to touch you of his own volition solely for chance to win a childish bet, but so be it if it means he'll touch you. You'd let him treat you as a game because at least it means he'll treat you somehow.

His thumb moves down to your bottom lip. You need to regain your footing, distract the racing thoughts in your mind. An idea slithers from the back of your mind, the one that screams for him constantly over the sirens of sanity that try to drown it out. At least now you can lean into that for the sake of this bet you constructed. You act before you can think too hard about it.

You move ever so slightly forward, small enough so that the audience won't be able to see, and you take his thumb into your mouth. 

It's never been harder to hold your position. You so desperately want to see his face, see the truth in his reaction. You're in far too deep at this point, might as well win the bet now.

You close your lips around his thumb, and suck. 

He stops singing, ever so momentarily. Clears his throat. Continues on. You know you've won, and the grin radiating from inside of you is almost too difficult to withhold. You got physical proof that you have at least some effect on him. (Far more important to you than any drinks, but you won't be telling him that)

After the show, he doesn't say a word about it. But when he returns from the bar that night at the club you're gathered at, he places a vodka cranberry in your hands before sitting back in his seat with a small grin. 

Austin

"Crazy idea."

"Hmm?"

You're stoned out of your minds, lying down on the bed of George’s hotel room. The man in question is lying on the floor, long passed out. 

“You know how…” you trail off. It’s so hard to think. Your mind is hazy, thoughts swirling around in pretty patterns you can’t quite see. 

“I do!” Matty sits up, in shock. You kick him, pushing his chest back down with your foot. 

“I haven’t even said it yet, idiot,” you scoff, exaggeratedly offended. You take a deep breath to clear the haze in your mind. 

“When you’re running your finger down my face. I’ve had dreams where there’s blood on you.” you sing the part you’re referring to lightly. “What if… there actually was blood on me?” 

You barely let it sit for a second before bursting into laughter, unable to contain yourself.  “Ugh, I always have the weirdest ideas when I’m high,” you groan into your pillow. “How would we even do that?” you slur, face smushed. 

“We could put it behind the chair. I put my hand in it… put it on your face…” Matty contemplates it.

“I think you liked Bones and All a little too much, I didn’t actually-”

“No, no, this is good. It’s creepy, and it further shows that that scene isn’t real, just, uh, in my imagination.” He gasps dramatically. “You’re a genius!” he shouts, comically excited. 

“Oh, no!” You shout, realization dawning on your intoxicated mind. 

“What, what, what?” Matty looks alarmed. You take his hands on yours. 

“We are going to ruin so many dresses,” you say, grim. The two of you burst into laughter immediately. 

“Oi, quit it!” George groans from the floor. It only causes your laughter to grow. 

Mexico City

On the stage two hours prior, Matty stuck his tongue down your throat. 

He kissed you so forcefully, eagerly. You felt like you were burning alive as you cupped his face, and kissed him just as passionately in return. Matty kissed you like he wanted to consume you, taking each and every part of you for himself. You’d give at all, open and willing. You licked into his mouth, letting the moment continue far longer than prescribed. You ran a hand through his curls, and you felt a small moan vibrate in your mouth as your nails scratched on his scalp. He met your gaze after and carefully brushed a piece of hair out of your face. Your heart felt as if it was going to tear out of your throat, pounding and bloody. Here I am, can’t you see this is all real?, it would say to him, pounding violently and gruesomely in his arms. Can't you see all that you do? 

Matty practically lives on the dance floor of the after parties. He never spends much time at the bar, grabbing drinks before heading either to the DJ booth to pester George or smack dab in the center of the dance floor. 

You’re standing at the bar, nursing a drink. Polly left you to go to the bathroom and you’re watching the members of band scattered throughout the club. George is DJing, as per usual, with Ross dancing against some girl near the edge of the dance floor. Adam is sat at a booth not too far from you with Carly, and you give them a smile as you sip into your cup. Matty wanders over, empty-handed and seemingly bone-tired, but the drunken grin on his face is apparent. “Seems I’ve lost my drink.”

You’re not really sure what he means with this. You speak anyways. “You know, the bets over and done. You’re not getting any drinks even if you make me flinch up there.” 

He raises his eyebrows and smiles, cheeky and withholding. “I know.” You don’t know what to do with that.    The music changes. You don’t recognize it, but Matty clearly does, his drunken face exploding with joy. 

“I love this song, come dance!” he shouts over the music, dragging you, laughing, onto the floor to dance with him. He puts his hands on your hips as you dance, and you can’t be bothered to let any modicum of rationality left in you stop you from indulging in it. 

Phoenix

You're sat on the tour bus couch, scribbling in your notebook. 

I glow pink in the night in my room I've been blossoming alone over you And I hear my heart breaking tonight

I could stare at your back all day And I know I've kissed you before, but I didn't do it right

It’s missing something, but you can’t figure out what. You tap your pencil against the page, creating little stabs of grey.

You feel a brush of something against your head and turn to the side, seeing Matty leaning over you. You practically jump out of your skin. 

“Jesus Christ, Matty! What are you, a fucking ghost?” 

He laughs a little. “Sorry, sorry. Just you were so focused, I didn’t wanna disturb you. Let me see that, actually.”

Before you can protest, he reaches over your shoulder, rips the notebook out of your hands, and tumbles around the couch to sit beside you. 

“Matty-” you try to lean and reach it out of his hands, but he rotates his body as to keep it out of your reach. You pray he doesn’t think too hard about the words, weave the meaning together that in your mind is displayed so, so obviously.  He’s quiet, and it’s making you nervous. You bite one of your nails, unsure what to do. 

He looks over at you, eyes wide. “This is what you’ve been writing this whole time?”

You scratch the back of your neck. “Well, not like that specific one this entire tour. But yeah, poems and stuff. It’s not meant to be something though, give it back,” you say as you reach across him. 

He pulls it out of your reach again. He says your name so focused, so earnestly, you stop in your tracks. 

“That poem is amazing.”

You sigh. “Matty, I’m really not in the mood for-“

“I’m not taking the piss, love! This is…” He taps the poem with his finger. “This is really something. You’re really something.” He looks back at you, so earnest it makes your head dizzy.

He fumbles in his pockets pulling out his phone. He looks back at you. “Can I?” he asks. You’re not 100% sure what he’s asking, but really, you’d agree to anything he asked of you. You nod. He takes a picture of the page and hands you back your notebook, standing up.

"C'mon, soundcheck is about to start," he smiles, waving you to follow him. 

Las Vegas

There's a container fixed to the back of the chair. Its flat and wide, perfect for placing a hand into. It's filled with fake blood that is about to be spread all over your face. Matty talked to Tobias and Patricia, convinced there was a way to make the blood your intoxicated mind suggested work, and now here you are.

He's approaching the line. You count your breaths. One two, one two. You wore one in-ear out of anticipation for the audience's reaction, and the music pounds into your ears. You wanna hear the screams that you know will come.

You see Matty carefully place his hand in the dish, and he brings it to your cheek. The blood is cold, jarring against your cheek. He keeps his hand still for a moment, letting it sit. He smears it with his thumb across your upper cheek, digging slightly against the bone. 

The crowd is screaming. You can feel the blood dripping onto your thigh, staining the stark white of your dress. He drags his thumb towards your lips, staining them red as it traces their outline, pressing against them. 

You can't help yourself. You've been so still every show, keeping your gaze locked in the distance. The perfect actress he wanted. But you're not a perfect actress. You're selfish. You're a girl whose falling so hard it makes you exhilarated, chasing the all-consuming feeling of him every moment you can. You're so consumed by him it terrifies you. You want to see him, gaze piercing and blood dripping. Your eyes flick to meet his, breaking the stillness. 

You stare into each others eyes. You're covered in the blood. Nothing feels real. The only thing grounding you is his hand on your cheek, cold and bloody but far more a comfort than anything else could possibly be. The crowd goes wild as the blood drips on your dress, staining you with him, seeping into your skin, your bones. Skin and bones, that's all you are. But not here with him. You feel alive, heart racing and endorphins shooting into your mind, loosening it with desire and adrenaline. The blood trails down your neck, cold and sticky. You want it to stain you just as he does to all of your thoughts, your poems, your breaths, your everything. The blood drips lower and lower down your neck, cold against your skin.

The song ends. You get up, and leave the stage as you always do, covered in him so completely. The blood leaves a trail.

—

a/n: pleaaaaaaase let me know what you guys think i love hearing from you <33333 poem is pink in the night by mitski 🫶

#matty healy #pitn #matty healy x reader #matty healy fanfic #matty healy writing #matty #healy #the 1975 #the 1975 fanfic

[finsplurtz]

addicted — izuku.midoriya

— dom ! male.reader x sub ! Izuku Midoriya

— contents : dom!bottom ! izuku maybe.. non-con/rape , blowjobs as friends , some public play , you’re both virgins , use of his quirk , bondage

warnings : rape/non-con

✩°｡ ⋆⸜ 🎧✮

Deku never thought about sex, he found it like ehhh

he was always focused on improving his quirk and stuff he never really thought about it, he didn’t masterbate often either cause he never had time and it never really interested him

you were a close friend of his, it was always you ochaco lida and izuku. He always praised you and admired you as a friend, always found you to be his safe place.

so when he accidentally walked in on you jacking ur shit he freaked out. He was thinking about how he ruined yalls friendship and stuff

you didn’t continue obviously…though you were close to ejaculating you just couldn’t continue, you told him to come in and he awkwardly walked in with his face red.

“I’m so sorry yn..! I didn’t mean to— I should’ve knocked I’m so sosososososososo sorry!!” he was a cute babbling mess, you laughed nervously and told him not to worry about it and that accidents happen.

“don’t worry izuku! I know you didn’t mean to ya know…it’s fine we’re guys this is like- normal so no need to be awkward” you smile at him and he nods his head before apologizing once more.

“…..doesn’t it hurt..?” he shyly pointed at your crotch and you let out a nervous chuckle.

“well……..don’t worry I’ll just take care of it later” you scratched the back of your neck while izuku just nodded and looked around anxiously.

“…I’m sorry I can’t help but think that you didn’t get to.. you know…! I w..wanna help in some way..? i just feel bad yn” he whined and blushed looking off to the side.

you just stared at his adorable face feeling your dick twitch in your pants.

“well I guess if you..want to, you can…..” he tensed up and stiffly walked over to your bed and sat down in front of you.

he looked you in the eyes waiting for you to give him orders. you looked off to the side for a second and back. “…do you know how to..”

“N-no..I don’t” he blushed embarrassed.

“I’d hope not.. just uhm how do you touch yourself? it’s like that but on another person” izuku was thinking about blowing you really but…….. makes sense

“I don’t touch myself” he said. you held In a laugh but grabbed his hand and placed it on your thigh.

“….im just helping a friend it’s fine..” he mumbled to himself.

“izuk.. u don’t have to yk I can kinda just do it by myself” he insisted and took you out of your pants making you gasp.

He’s never done this before, he loves helping people that’s why he was doing this…..and cause he was curious, it’d been a while since he touched himself and just wanted to.. explore

he stuck his tongue out and put you in his mouth, you let out a deep breath and stiffened feeling his hot mouth work on your dick.

this all happened too fast- I mean anybody with common sense would NEVER offer to blow their friend just cause they accidental interrupted them………that’s gay

but izuku’s just…overly kind or something, you’ll just let him do whatever he wants. Only a crazy person would turn a blowjob down anyway

you started to let out small moans and gently grab on izuku’s soft green locks. He started to really get into it….taking you down his throat and swallowing around you.

“fuuuck..~ I’m gonna…fucking c..NGH—!” you’re eyes rolled back feeling the cum rip out of your cock and into midoriya’s mouth, your chest raised and lowered rapidly trying to catch your breath.

“haa….shh..it..” you combed your finger thru your friends hair as he slowly got off and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

you just stared at him and smiled.

“th..thank you i-zuku..” you felt dizzy and he just smiled happily.

“a..anytime yn..” he said his goodbyes and left you alone in your room staring into the void. what. just happened.

izuku started to spend more time alone in his room after that, you guys weren’t thattt awkward but there was a little tension between you guys. it didn’t happen just once though, he had walked in on you accidentally again and apologized like it was the first time. then he’d offer to help.

it started to become a regular thing you guys did, nothing more than a blowjob. you would offer to please him in return but he always turned it down so…

he liked how he made you feel. it made him feel funny but he couldn’t bring himself to stop it was like an addiction. it started to happen OUTSIDE of your room…..

he went to use the bathroom and you were coincidentally there and next thing ya know, he blew you in one of the stalls. it scared you because you didn’t want to get caught.. but you didn’t say anything.

he had become more touchy, always touching you in some way, your hand, arm, thigh, legs just- he had to be touching you.

he was becoming like a…sex demon, he couldn’t stop wanting to touch you. addict to dick….

one night he was in your room again you stopped him.

“sorry- izuku I just… this is weird why are we…” you watched as his face saddened a bit…..he looks so cute:(

“am I not good at it…?”

“nono izuku! You’re great at it— it’s just like what if we get caught…?”

“oh…then we’ll just have to be more quiet! we won’t get caught that way..” he crawled closer to you and placed his palm on your crotch.

“I-i know but- ugh..~” you couldn’t say anything else as you got lost in the pleasure.

this time while he was blowing you he made eye contact with you, he looked at you with his big glossy green eyes. He’d moan around your length sending vibrations that drove you crazy. what you hadn’t noticed was how he’d finger himself while blowing you, he was stretching himself….for what

when you did notice it though, it didn’t leave your mind. Surely he won’t want to fuck right..? no that can’t happen. you have to make sure of it. you can blow him and everything but- you can’t lose your virginity to this kid and he can’t lose his to you.

“Hey midoriya, ya know this is as far as we can go…right?” you looked at him and you could see the disappointment in his eyes. he hesitated to answer.

“We can’t do anymore than a handy or a blowjob. so don’t…get any funny ideas”

.

.

.

“mh” he smiled and said his goodbye and left. after that he visited…less. like the addiction just left, just like that. He didn’t offer anything but he was still touchy with you. this was fine, you could tell he was looking for something else, it was good to break things off.

after a couple weeks of no nightly visits, he suddenly knocks on ur door. you let him come in and he starts talking about whatever. how his day was, how his training was going, all that normal stuff.

“izuku do you want something from me” you interrupted him mid sentence. he tilts his head pretending to be confused, he tries to say something but he can’t.

“what is it. do you want me to touch you or what” he blushes and bites the inside of his cheek. “i just…can..i…..” he felt the embarrassment down his spine, he pointed at your crotch and then his mouth.

you sigh and grab his arm dragging him to your bed. You stand in front of him while he’s on his knees on the bed looking up at you like a lost puppy. you pet his head and pull your half hard dick out.

He’s practically drooling as he wraps his hands around your cock and pumps it slowly while giving it kitten licks.

He quickly stuffs you in his mouth earning slutty moans from you, he does this till you start getting closer and closer to releasing. you had your eyes closed so you failed to see his quirk blackwhip slowly creep out of him.

he didn’t take his eyes off you, he just stared while he blew you. you felt your body quickly getting bounded tightly together, you opened your eyes and izuku got off.

“wha…what are you doing izu..”

“‘m sorry yn..! I really really n-need this…~” he slipped his shorts off and straddled your lap, your dick at his entrance. you tried to fight against the restraints but obviously, didn’t work. he was blushing like crazy and shaking as he slowly lowered himself on your cock.

“s-stop—! stop it izu..aghn..~!” The wave of pleasure punched you in the face.

he was squatting on you like a rabbit, his hands on your abdomen and his back arched.

“haa..why’re you s..so tight..” your vision was blurry and you had already stopped trying to escape, it was no use. you’ve never been inside someone, you knew it would feel great but this…felt so much fucking better than you thought.

“d-don’t worry yn..I’ll milk your cock and it’ll feel great…~” he smiled pathetically as he lifted himself up and slammed himself back down, your cock hitting his prostate. He gasped loudly and arched his back oh so beautiful, tightening even more around you.

“Sh..shit izu..! you’re soo..hmnn~” you whined feeling your dick throb in him. he began at a fast and rough pace, bouncing on your dick.

“ugh- mm..~ so big yn…~! you feel so g-good..~” he’s moaning loudly while you just watch him fuck himself on your cock. you’re panting and feel as if you’re about to pass out and he still looks as cute as ever forcefully taking your virginity. you flush red and let out a small whimper.

“W-we’re still..close f..friends, right yn-y..” he leans down so he’s closer to your face.

“mm..” you’re too confused and lost in pleasure to respond properly. izuku smiles and gives you a small peck on the lips before sitting back up.

“I hope I can use your cock whenever I please yn..~” he roughly sat all the way down on your dick, his eyes rolled back and his tongue lolled out. a slutty moan ripped from his throat, your dick was deep in his gushy insides.

he tightened around you and you whined once more finally cumming deep inside him.

“haa..uhn~” your body was tired, you just kept watching him. What was he gonna do next. He slowly lifted himself and you watched your own nut drip out of him.

“hm…th..thank you yn..” he looked you in the eyes with such seductive eyes before he went limp and fell beside you on your bed, his quirk disappearing.

you shakily got up and went to clean yourself up, you cleaned your friend up as well and got back in bed.

you finally looked at izuku’s sleeping face and let out a small sigh.

though you wish he would’ve asked for consent, you’re kinda glad that virginity shit was over with. you’re confused is all.

you gently wrapped your arms around the smaller boy and pull him closer for warmth.

that morning you woke up with midoriya on your chest, his face hiding in the crook of your neck.

“izuk— ugh~!” you gasp realizing you were inside him again.

“let’s stay…like this..” he said tiredly kissing your neck before probably passing out… he was like addicted to this.

why can’t you say no to him.

a/n; what are y’all’s thoughts on izuku w/ the low taper fade

#boku no hero academia #my hero academia #i love you izuku pls don’t die #he’s so cute stoppp #mha x male reader #dom top reader #top male reader #dark content #gay #smut #male reader #rapekink #non con #bnha deku #izuku midoriya #izuku x male reader #izuku x reader #aged up characters

[morellywrong]

Missing Out

Ethan Landry x afab reader (fem pronouns/nouns)

Warnings: stalking, obsession, Ethan's a pretty lil psycho, descriptions of murdering and torture, Ethan is actually fucked bro, reader is wearing a dress, Ethan is kinda neuro-divergent- coded (real), both Ethan and reader will be bi-coded because I said so, also some gross lil things in there for fun :)

Part 1 (?)

"Hey, y/n!" Ethan beams as he catches up to you, on your way to your morning class.

"Oh, hey Ethan...you sure are chipper this morning." You chuckle softly as he adjusts his bag strap on his shoulder.

"Yeah, I don't know, I guess I slept pretty good- I had a productive evening." He beams softly, walking alongside you, matching his usually long strides to better fit yours.

"Oh yeah, get all your work done?"

Flashes of the previous evening washed over Ethan's mind, his grin only growing.

"Please! Please, I didn't do anything!!!" The boy sobs, his eye swollen, lips bleeding and a deep gash on the side of his neck hes desperately trying to keep pressure on with his broken hand.

"...that's where you're wrong...you got in the way." Ethan hisses, his voice modulator clipped into the inside of his signature Ghostface mask, wiping the blood slowly from his knife.

"Please...please..." The boy begs helplessly, tears running down his cheeks, snot bubbling under his nose as he backs away weakly, only for his back to be met with the wall.

"Please, please...." Ethan mocks him, stepping closer, his heavy boots thumping against the concrete of the warehouse he'd dragged his latest victim to.

"No one will hear you scream...no one will remember you...not even her...youre nothing..." The boy yelled out in anguish, choked sobs becoming more and more liquidated-

Ethan snaps back to reality as he turns towards you again, still smiling brightly.

"Yeah, it was....good, I got everything finished sooner than I thought."

"Wow...maybe I should get you to do my coursework sometime." You chuckle softly, nudging his shoulder with your elbow. Heat spreads across his face as he lets out a breathless laugh, looking away.

"Y...yeah, well, maybe..." He mumbles, his dimples showing as he glances back to you.

"Oh, are you going to the frat party later tonight? Tara, Mindy and Anika invited me....Chad'll be there too..." You hum, offering the idea with a small grin.

Ethan's heart hammers in his chest, feeling that type of love sickness his Dad used to talk about with his mother.

Well. Before Wade had all his children assist in killing their mother. Ethan tried not to think about it too much.

"I...I'd love too, y/n..." He whispers, his pupils dilated so much one would assume he'd taken something to help him focus more on his studies.

Or watch the sky melt.

"Cool....uh, wanna meet at the party? Quinn offered to drive us girls there and back, since she'd got a date tonight..." You giggle slightly, even though you're glad there'll be a designated driver.

"Sure, uh, I've, uh, never really been to many parties, though. I get a little nervous in crowds." He lies, brows creased together, portraying that awkward, shy boy you know him as.

"Don't worry. You can stick with me the entire night....I don't drink much anyways..." You beam softly as you stop outside your class.

"I'll see you after Econ?" He nodded quickly, propping up on the balls of his feet briefly to try and contain his excitement.

"See you. Meet for lunch?"

"Defintiely. I heard there's pretzels today." You smirk softly as he lets out another breathless laugh.

"Yeah...." He murmurs in a slight daze as you walk into the lecture hall, giving him a small wave before leaving his sight.

He leans back against the wall, holding onto the straps of his backpack as his cheeks heat up even more, biting the inside of his cheek with an uncontrollable beam plastered on his pale face.

You had spent lunch with Ethan, sat on the grass outside one of the lecture halls, laughing together about how crappy most of the lecturers are, and exchanging mild stories about how boring your days were. But soon enough you had your last classes of the day to attend, afterwards he walked you to your dorm building.

He always insisted on walking you all the way to your dorm room, claiming it was safer.

"There's a psycho on the news, haven't you heard??" He beams playfully at you as you playfully push at his arm. He's been mentioning it ever since the first disappearances.

"Please, I'm not important enough of a target, let alone being noticed by some killer." You roll you eyes as he watches you take your keys out of your bag pocket.

Keys that he definitely hasn't got like 4 copies of each key on there. He's pretty sure one of them is just for a small indoor window, and another is to your old locker key that you still have on your keychain for some reason- even though he defintely has a copy of your current locker key.

It's the stupid little things he likes in life, after all. And something about you not caring to throw the old key out just makes him love you more.

"Nah, maybe the killer is secretly targeting you...maybe he's watching you sleep-" He grins playfully, watching you send him an unimpressed look.

"Alright, get out of here, you're not supposed to be in this building anyway...I think we'll be at the frat party at like 9, ask Chad, I'm sure Tara's told him all the details." You smirk whilst tapping the side of your nose playfuly. He taps his in return, grinning. It was no secret those two were grossly infatuated with each other.

"I'll see you later. Text me if you need anything." He responds like clockwork, a usual closing response he offers to you out of the kidness of his heart. And definitely not obsession.

"I will." You insist with a chuckle, before closing your door and leaving him beaming by himself crazily once more, rolling onto the balls of his feet once, twice then three times before he catches himself, correcting his body language quickly.

"You look so fucking good!" Tara beams, a shot or two already in her system, deciding to pregame before the party as you got ready with the other three party-goers.

She stood behind you, admiring your body as you stand in front of her bedroom mirror.

"I don't know...it's a bit revealing..." You mumble sheepishly as you glance at your reflection, at the new dress you had bought the last time you were out with the girls.

"Shut up, no one will care, if anything, it's a good thing, dummy." Mindy beams from the couch, Anika fixing the back collar of her shirt, both also a little tipsy.

"Yeah, girls and guys are gonna be all over you."

"Chad'll keep an eye on us though, he always does." Tara smiles gently as she helps adjust the straps on your shoulders, her fingers leaving a small tingling feeling against your bare skin.

"More like he keeps an eye on you." Quinn smirks from the doorway, eyeing your outfit up and down with almost hungry eyes.

"Nice dress, y/n...hey, you guys ready?" She holds up her car keys with a small shake, the metal jingling in her hand.

"Yes! Let's fucking go, girls!" Mindy exclaims, standing up and grabbing her girlfriends hand.

"Let's go!!" Anika grins brightly.

"Let's go, cmon!" Tara grabs your own hand in her's, practically dragging you behind her.

When you arrive the party, it's pretty much already at full force. Drunken jocks, flashy cheerleaders, theatre kids talking loudly in the corner, math wizz's awkwardly stood in their small gaggles. It's refreshing, in a way, to see the students enjoying themselves and taking a break from studying.

"It's fucking loud..." You mumble, glancing over at the giant speakers in the corner and the 'DJ' set up the frat house had set up for the party. Your ears strained as you winced, before gasping.

"I feel like i'm inside the fucking speaker!" Chad beams, his voice making you and Tara jump as he places a hand on your shoulder, the other on Tara's shoulder. His head appeared between you, but he was grinning at Tara.

You glance behind him, beaming softly as you spot Ethan stood there. He looks like he's already spacing out, disassociating from the crowd once he realises how loud and chaotic it was.

In reality, Ethan's zeroing in on a girl staring at you. She's one of the cheerleaders. Bitchy, blonde, ditzy, pretty stereotypical but there she is. She's whispering to her friends, gesturing towards you and smiling as they all giggle.

He's trying to figure out if she's making fun of you or if she's into you. Either way, he's going to paint someone's walls with her blood by the end of the night.

"Ethan?" He glances down at you, a smile breaking onto his face beyond his control.

"Hey! Sorry, uh..."

"I get it. I space out at parties a lot. It's jut so overstimulating sometimes." You reassure him, nudging him softly with your shoulder.

"Y....yeah, that's it! Sorry, I tend to space out pretty often..." He plays it off, before his eyes snap to your outfit- the tight dress you'd decided to wear, before he forces himself to meet your eyes, respectfully. He needed to have patience, he didn't want to creep you out or scare you away from him- at least not /yet/.

You didn't need to know about the cameras hidden in your dorm room.

"Hey, wanna grab a drink? I'll stay with you, don't worry." You offer, speaking over the music.

Ethan grinned a little more sternly than he had intended to as you playfully link your arm with his, his cheeks lighting up- he was grateful for the dark lighting of the frat party. The only real light was LED lights that blessed the room with a purple and red glow.

He glances back over the cheeleader, she's glaring at him, her knuckles tense as she grips her plastic paper cup so tight it starts to crinkle and strain. He just sent her a dark look, before walking with you to the kitchen of the frat house- where the alcohol is.

#ethan landry smut #ethan landry x reader #ethan landry #scream smut #scream 6 #ghostface smut #ghostface x reader #ghostface #scream vi

[thetorturedbuckydepartment]

chapter five: fucking situations, circumstances, miscommunications

pairing: Bucky barnes x plus-sized!reader

summary: Six months ago, you were appointed to be Head Nurse to the Avengers by Tony Stark. Every day, you count your lucky stars, knowing the horrible past you quickly ditched back in England. It holds you back, restrains you, from getting close to anyone when on your new job.

That's until you met and fell in love with Bucky Barnes. The supposed assassin with a heart of gold, who seems to be eager to get to know you. To peel back your layers piece by piece, but could you trust him once you're laid before him raw and vulnerable?

masterlist

PREVIOUS PART -- CHAPTER FOUR: WHO ELSE DECODES YOU?

warnings: language, mentions of sex (no smut), self deprecation, angst (!)

word count: 3.9k

Taglist: @scott-loki-barnes @cjand10 @blackwidownat2814 @blackbirdwitch22 @laughterafter  @blackhawkfanatic @mcira @bxckybxrnes24 @rachellovesloki @toffeacademia @bean-bean2000 @lana525 @selella

A/N: im so sorry okay? but I promise, the fruits of patience are always sweet (is that right)! hope u enjoy, and don't worry only five more chapters until I stop torturing the pair to pine longingly... also phase one is complete, so I'll be taking a two week break before starting phase two: the falling rollout! stay tuned :)

It turns out you were wrong. You had been speaking to Nat — Wanda was off somewhere with Vision — and you talked her out of the notion that you were falling in love with Bucky. Because of course you aren’t…you can’t afford to. Falling in love made a mess of you, there’s no way it’s going to happen so soon.

When you first set foot in New York, it felt like a fresh start. Sure, you’d imagine if all went well, then a few years down the line you’d find yourself opening up again. Not doing it so soon, and certainly hadn’t imagined in your wildest dreams that it would be reciprocated.

You convince yourself you’ve imagined it. And of course, you did. Because in the night, Bucky had left you and your scheduled movie night last minute, to go out on the town with Steve. He had invited you, but you’d declined. Maybe you’ve weirded him out with admitting you’re more attracted to brunettes — maybe he’s figured it all out and is now trying to avoid you, to let you down gently. 

And when you’re just about to fall asleep after tormenting yourself with all the awkward ways he’s trying to avoid you, because he’s too nice to tell you — that’s when you hear it. Moaning and groaning of a man and woman through the wall, the hard and rough pounding of what can only be a bed frame against a surface, and the man is undoubtedly Bucky. You'd recognise his voice anywhere. Your heart sinks as you immediately walk out of your room, where you can hear everything, heading to the kitchen, unable to handle it. It feels like your insides will be spilled all over your front and the floor. Trying to get the images out of your mind of Bucky and another woman entangled…like that. Clutching at your chest, because your heart just burns and your eyes are full of water and everything’s blurry, shaky hands reaching for a glass of cold water to dissolve the lump in your throat.

Why are you upset? Bucky is a grown man, fully capable of making his own decisions and choosing the women he wants to sleep with. It’s not his fault he doesn’t choose you. So why does it make you so upset, that you’re quietly stifling your sobs in an empty, cold kitchen?

You feel like your heart has been ripped out — once again doomed to be romantically interested in the one who would rather choose an inanimate rock over you. Well, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but still. You don’t know how long you stand there, the only light a warm orange spilling over the black kitchen island, and think every single spark of hope in you away. The look of desire on his face…maybe it was platonic affection. You mistook it for something more, because you’ve never seen that look haunt anyone's features before. Maybe he looks like that at everyone.

And then you hear hurried footsteps, and the unmistakeable, juggernaut-like clack of women’s heels. You straighten, and she appears. Wrapped in a red dress, Bucky’s favourite shade, that accentuates every part of her so flawlessly, and her lipstick hasn’t even budged, despite the mess of her hair and other parts of her makeup. She offers you a soft smile as she passes, but you can’t help yourself. How has her lipstick not even smudged a little?

“Wow, you’re so pretty, oh my God. What lipstick do you use, and how the hell has it still not budged? Girl, I need the brand and name, like, right now.” You usher her over, to inspect her perfect lips more closely. Even the warm light makes her seem a million times more attractive, and you can’t help yourself.

You hold her face in your hands while she rattles off some obscure brand you’ve never heard of, making a mental note to search it up later. “It looks amazing,” you say, meeting her eyes, which are the most warm shade of brown. 

You know you can never hold a candle to the beauty of this woman, even at your very best, but you’d be damned if you didn’t tell her of her radiance.

“Thank you,” she blushes and straightens, pulling away from your hold. Her outfit is so amazing, you can’t even blame Bucky for being so taken with her. You’re right there with him.

“Flirting with my date, are you?” Comes Bucky’s voice from the doorway, and you both turn to look at him. Then you remember yourself, and your situation. She’s just had sex with Bucky, and here you are, complimenting her lipstick.

And in this moment, you dig to your lowest familiar, and compare yourself to her. It’s not a competition, you know better than to fight over a man, but even if there were…you would lose by a landslide. Objectively.

Absentmindedly, you touch your hair while glancing at hers, dark, perfectly curled locks swishing about her shoulders and touching her elbows, even at its messiest. You don’t know if you want to look like her, or to be with her, in this moment.

“No, no. I was just asking her about her lipstick, that’s all.” She hands you her phone, ignoring Bucky, and asks you to enter your number with a wink. You happily comply, and almost miss the way her face falls when she reads over your name, and glances over her shoulder at Bucky. 

Clearly, you’ve missed something. You don’t want to ask. “I’ll call you,” she gestures to you, leaving you with a kiss on the cheek. You blink several times, trying to process the events of the past hour or so.

You’ve never been more confused. How did you end up with Bucky’s date’s number? “You’re quite the charmer, aren’t you doll?” He’s got that signature smirk on his face, but you look away. Something about his messy hair and flushed cheeks seems a sight that isn’t reserved for you, but the lover who just left the compound.

“No, I— I was just complimenting her, I swear. She seems nice, though. Are you gonna see her again?” He joins you at the table, and up close you can see the slight sheen of sweat on his brow, and you hate the way the sight of it stirs something in your lower belly. You want him, so bad. You want to be the reason he emerges from his room flushed and you leave with messy hair like you just rolled out of bed. Alas, it isn’t in the cards for you. Fortune and romance have never been entangled lovers in the story of your life, and you shouldn’t expect anything different in this chapter of it. You take another cold sip, hoping to swallow the bitter realisations you've stumbled across tonight.

“Well, considering I don’t even know her name, and you got her number, I doubt it.” He laughs, hoping you’ll chuckle alongside him. You’re not in the mood to talk about his sex life, and you feel like you’re about to throw up because of it, yet again. Now knowing his type is a dark, sexy feminine energy, you can’t bear it anymore. You are the very antithesis of it all — light, and soft. Maybe he even finds you sweet. But you’re not the one, not the one he wants.

You may be the one he spills his secrets to, but you know you’ll never be the red-dress femme fatale he takes to bed, or into his heart.

“Are we still on for tomorrow?” You ask, sparing him a quick glance then returning to look at your hands that just look too wrong. Palms too wide, fingers too stubby. She had hands like a fucking nail polish model. Everything about you feels wrong and misshapen in this moment. Bucky’s wondering what he did to upset you. He’d overheard you talking to Natasha, explaining clear as day that you’re not attracted to him. He’s simply taken it as his sign to move on, to try and bury his heart that he’s laid in your chest, instead of letting it consume him. That's why he said yes to Steve, why he left you to go out. He didn't want either of you to stew in uncomfortable silence because he doesn't want to admit what he heard and how badly it hurt him. To confess would be to lose you, and so he buries it all deep down. Just like everything else.

But it’s a lot harder than expected, especially when he brings a girl home, for the first time in decades, but all he can think of is you. He’s manoeuvring her hips and imagining them to be yours, kissing her lips and pretending you’re the one gasping against his mouth. He ended up so wrapped in the fantasy, your name had slipped past his lips as he came, even though he tried to hide it in a murmur against her shoulder. But, of course she heard. She’d lectured him for a couple of minutes while throwing her clothes back on, about how he shouldn’t be fucking around if his heart is so set on one woman, that he says her name when lost in the throes of passion with another. Then, she’d spun on her heel and left, and he’d departed to find you. 

To tell you, he can’t do it anymore. Despite your feelings of romantic apathy when it comes to him, he can’t say the same. He is enamoured, infatuated, obsessed with you, and he can’t let you go. He can't bury his feelings when they just keep building up like waves and crashing over the grave of his heart -- he can't keep it to himself. Even if your words seal the vault closed forevermore, he needs to hear them. He was so ready to beg for one date. One chance, one kiss, one taste. Maybe not in the moment, seeing as you wouldn’t appreciate the taste of another woman’s wine on his lips. He wouldn’t either, if that night you’d gone on the date with Steve, he'd let his impulsive thoughts win just moments after you kissed another's mouth. He wonders how you kiss as he touches his own lips in thought -- would you let the other take charge and cover him in sweet pecks, or do you prefer to taste like passion and sin? These were the only thoughts circling his smitten mind as he searched for you longingly. 

And then he found you, illuminated so beautifully in the light of the kitchen island, and it occurs to him, just how there is no competition between you and other women. They could never hold a candle to you, to the radiant sun of your essence and your beauty.

The woman seems surprisingly smitten by you, with your eyes on her lips, and her giving you her number. He doesn't blame her for feeling that electric pull to you. He's right there with her.

He also didn’t miss the look she gave him over her shoulder, after reading your name. She knows, that it’s you. She won’t come back, she knows better than that. But he can’t tell you that that’s the reason he won’t be seeing her again, and you won’t even look at him. 

“Yeah, doll. Of course. I’m not bailing on you again.” He smiles, gently touching your cheek, and you pull away before his skin makes contact.

“Alright, I’ll see you then.” You turn around and walk out, the tears in your eyes dripping down your face and leaving a salty trail all the way to your door.

                                            ————————

In the night, you’d done a lot of thinking. And you’ve decided to let him go, to let him do what he wants. He’s not evil, he’s certainly not wicked. He just doesn’t want you. That’s not something to hold against him, how could it be? He doesn’t owe you romance just because you want it with him. You’ll cherish his friendship, his strictly platonic affection, but you’ll let any thought of a relationship with him go. 

You’ll be all the better for it. 

And so you stand in the communal living room, rechecking your Taylor Swift themed tote bag that you’ve kept everything you need. You had taught Bucky how to bake his favourite brownies the other day, so you packed a few of those in case he gets hungry. Your favourite crisps, drinks for the both of you. Headphones, a charger for your phone, a claw clip to tie up your hair if it gets too hot, car keys, wallet…

It’s sunny outside, so you’ve opted for a long, maxi summer dress in a dark dusty rose colour and covered in gorgeous flowers, golden hoops and necklace like always, and your hair falls over your back loose and natural with a small accent braid weaving through the strands. You’ve also kept the makeup light — blush, kohl and mascara, and a tinted lip balm. You feel oddly good about your appearance, when you’re not in front of anyone else. When there’s nobody else to compare yourself to, you allow yourself to feel pretty. You throw on a thin white cardigan, grab your tote bag and head over to Bucky’s room to collect him.

You two are going out today. And you plan on buying him a surplus of items, all because of the massively fat pay check you get given courtesy of Tony. You’ll also be taking the subway, something Bucky’s a bit afraid of, but—

You almost crash into Steve when you turn the corner, in your mind being preoccupied with making an itinerary of where you’re going. He catches you, grabbing you around the arms. The both of you are a little on edge, given the failed outing of a few nights ago, but you had let him down gently. You did tell him you want to stay friends, even as he looked embarrassed and laughed about it. You didn’t tell him about your crush on Bucky, having decided to keep it under strict lock and key after being consumed by the feeling of wanting to kiss Bucky instead. You knew, in that moment, that nothing would've made him feel worse. You meet Steve’s pale blue eyes, offering him an apologetic smile.

“Oh my God, Steve. I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there. Did I hurt you?” He shakes his head, chuckling at your panic.

“No, no. I’m completely fine. Don’t worry, dear. You look good.” He compliments you fondly, eyeing you up and down once. You smile, forgetting the initial panic that surged through your system.

You take the compliment at face value. “Thank you, Steve. That’s really nice of you.”

“Where are you going today?” He asks in polite conversation. You’ve already talked about this, about where you’re off to. Maybe he forgot.

“Oh, Bucky and I are going downtown today! I was planning on getting him some new clothes, you know, his current closet seems a little out of date. We’ll probably be back by 7 at the latest, but it depends on how picky he is, you know him. Oh, and before I forget, Denise is in charge while I’m away. Mr Fury and Mr Stark haven’t told us that there’s any major missions today, so it’s mainly the barebones team, so if anything happens today, you report to her. I’d much prefer to enjoy my first day out in months, but in case of absolute emergencies, of course you can contact me, alright? You’re the most responsible one of the bunch, so I’m trusting you to spread the message for me.” You gently squeeze his arm in reassurance. 

“Yeah, will do. You have fun today, okay? I’ll try my best to make sure nobody gets in a housefire or something. You’re one of the hardest working people I know, dear. You deserve this. And trust me, if you’re the one picking out the outfits, you could put him in a hot pink suit bejewelled to high heaven and he’d wear it happily.” 

You mouth drops. “You know what, that’s an amazing idea, thank you.” He laughs at that, and you smile. You’ve always been treated by past-partners like you’re the most unfunny person on the planet, like your jokes are tolerated and not laughed at. So it always surprises you when people find you funny. You welcome it, but it feels strange nonetheless.

And then Bucky appears, slinging an arm around your shoulders and pulling you into him. “Ah, the prodigal super soldier emerges,” you say, hand wrapping around his back almost stiffly as you try to calm your aching heart at the sight.

You know this will haunt you, when you’re feeling down on yourself. You’ll clutch at your chest once again, feeling stupid at the fact you ever thought this Adonis of a man would ever look at you twice. Why would he?

But for now, his friendship is enough. It has to be.

“Uh huh. Should we go, doll?” He tilts his head extremely close to yours, and it takes every conscious muscle in your body to stop yourself from closing your eyes. No need to embarrass yourself.

“Yeah. Let’s go.” You turn to the other supersoldier in the room, currently being the one left out. “Bye Steve. Please tell everyone what I told you.” He nods.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you.” You smile and let Bucky lead you away, waving a quick goodbye over your shoulder.

“I wanted to ask, was last night awkward?” You try to ignore the comment as you both walk down the street, heading to his favourite bistro for breakfast. The sun is shining, the streets smell like something that isn’t piss, and you’re spending the day with your favourite person.

“Hm, no not really.” He stops the both of you at a busy intersection, pulling you into an alley, and pushing you against the wall. His arm is still secure around your waist so your back doesn’t crash too hard against the eroding brick and mortar, but unfortunately that means your hands end up on his…firm chest, and your thumbs can’t help but soothingly stroke from side to side. You can’t meet his eyes.

“Then why are you avoiding eye contact? Is there something I did wrong? Are you upset with me? Look at me, doll. Please.” His tone is pleading, borderline pathetic, but neither of you care. Your eyes meet his, and you try your best to not get lost in his eyes like sinking ships, so inviting that it takes everything in you to not jump.

To not kiss him. You crave to know what his lips taste like, but you shouldn’t. You keep trying to bury these intense feelings, and yet they keep building up like waves and crash over your grave, resurrecting you. And it feels amazing to be alive.

“I’m just…awkward about these kinda things.”

“What kind of things?”

“Sex. I mean, I heard you through the wall with Camille. And then, ten minutes later you were speaking to me like you weren’t just doing…all of that. It’s strange. I—“

“Do you think it’s bad? That I’m having sex?”

“I…what? No. No, no, Bucky, I’m not shaming you for having sex, God knows I should be the last one judging you for that…it’s just…I’m not used to that. People I’m close to... we all talk about it a while after...you know. I’m just not used to hearing you have sex and then seeing your face, like, ten minutes after. That’s all.” You smile then, touching his cheek as a way to assure him you’re telling the truth. Half of it, at least.

He leans into it so sweetly. “Okay. If that’s all, then… We should get going.” You nod, despite every bone in your body protesting moving away from this intimate moment. He feels the same, because every fear he’s ever had disappears at the warmth of your hand on his face. His eyes travel to your lips and you fix yourself, smoothing down your dress.

“You look absolutely beautiful in your outfit, by the way.” He silently adores you as you double check nothing’s been stolen from your bag, although you doubt someone is going to sneak between you two what with your hyper vigilance and Bucky’s enhanced senses.

You laugh. “You always think I look beautiful no matter what I wear. Even if I wore your sweatpants, you’d still say the same.” Smoke covers the both of you in a misty haze, but he swears he’s never seen you any clearer.

“Because you still look beautiful to me. You always do. Just accept the compliment, will you? You know you don’t have to work hard to deserve compliments, don’t you? They should be freely given.” He strokes your hair, admiring the tiny braid in between his fingers.

“I’m learning to.” You both smile at each other, and you let yourself feel the sweet swell of your heart, for once. Maybe that’s what will work. You just need to feel it all, and get it all out of your system. That’s how you end your crush on Bucky — feel until your reservoirs are empty, until you look over him one day and see nothing more than a good friend, a best friend even. It might takes years, it might even be next week. But this is your plan. 

“Now, should we go?” You extend your hand in a silent offering, to reconnect the bridge that you had temporarily abandoned in your moonlit insanity. He takes it, placing his metal hand firmly in your grasp and interlocking fingers. You notice how he’s wearing long sleeves and gloves, even in this peculiar hot day in November.  He must be boiling in that leather jacket.

For now, you lean into him, into his warmth even though you can feel yourself start to sweat, and you both walk hand in hand. To any outsider looking in, you two paint the picture of the perfect couple. You admire the red and orange leaves against a sky the colour of the eyes that are trained on you — memorising the curve of your nose and the pillow of your lips. In the bistro, you two sit comfortably close together, laughing silently over everything and nothing — like you’ve been dating for years.

The rest of the day goes by smoothly, the both of you laughing like everything’s funny. Like teenagers on the first date — giddy and carefree. Your phone doesn’t buzz once, and you love the feeling of Bucky’s hands on you. He always loves to touch you, whether it’s tracing your palms or leaning his chin on your shoulder in the subway because you’re on his lap in the only spare seat available. You love it too, never knowing someone would be so eager, so desperate to touch you and feel you so innocently.

You’ve always felt shunned — like you’re only worth touching for a partner’s sexual satisfaction, and other times you were made to be ignored and tolerated. But if even a friend can cherish you in this special, sacred way, you can’t help but imagine what a true, enamoured lover would do.

Both of you want it, can feel that your feelings could be something worth a forever and a half — but of course, misunderstandings have to get in the way.

They always do.

NEXT PART

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x plus size reader #bucky barnes x reader #x plus size reader #marvel

[gyusimp]

°•Car sex after work

⚠️WARNINGS: NSFW, MINORS DNI, Smut content, Modern AU, Fem reader.

U wanted smut? You get smut 💅🏻 (sorry for the delay, now i'll go tu fucking sleep 🧚‍♀️ and hope u like it)

It was almost time to go home, you had already finished your chores for today at the office. There were 20 minutes left to leave so you took out your cell phone and started browsing the internet and your social media. You looked at some posts and videos, you kept scrolling on your fyp until you found a reel of a female page with interesting topics.

You entered the profile and saw some important tips and articles until you saw one that caught your attention. "Benefits of a long and abundant squirt" you read the list in the post and then pressed the comments button to read the opinions of others. There were many other girls or most of them saying that their couples very rarely or almost never managed to make them reach that level of pleasure, while others said that not all women are capable of achieving it and other opinions and debates. That made you think, had Gyutaro ever made it with you? You've had sex with Gyutaro so many times that you've lost count. Of course you remember making yourself squirt, but right now you couldn't remember if it was also on the occasions where you were with your boyfriend. You saw the clock on your cell phone and it was just time to leave, you grabbed your things and went down to the parking lot to get into your car and start it.

A few days ago Gyutaro's motorcycle suffered some mechanical problems so since it would be in the mechanical workshop for a couple of days, you offered to pick Gyutaro up from work and take him home. As you drove to his work, you kept trying to remember in the corners of your head, but everything was so blurry. You thought about asking Gyutaro after you greeted him with a kiss and he got into the car but it would be too random and perhaps awkward a question, you would end up blushing up to your ears and Gyutaro would make fun of you all the way back even though You would have explained the context of your question to him so you decided to stay silent and talk about anything else with him.

"Hey, just let me buy some things for dinner honey."

"Of course, babe."

You drove until you entered the parking basement of a mall, inside there was a supermarket that you frequented so you would buy some things for dinner and some snacks for the weekend. You got an empty space and parked and then got out of the car with Gyutaro and held hands to enter the supermarket. You were talking to your boyfriend and choosing the products you were looking for, but your mind in the background kept thinking about what you had read.

Seeing Gyutaro made your heart race and made you feel like your panties had suddenly become too tight, making your core throb with every brush of your thighs as you walked. You went to pay for your things and went back to the parking lot to put away the purchases and finish eating some popsicles that you bought for you and him in the car and continue talking. Your mind kept wandering that topic, you looked at how sexy your boyfriend was and you couldn't get it out of your head that you wanted to make love to him right now to see if he was capable of making you feel that way. You both finished eating the popsicle, Gyutaro was about to fasten the seat belt but your hand surprised him when from his muscled thigh it slid to the middle of his pants, right at his crotch. The boy looked at you surprised but smiling playfully, maybe a quickie wasn't bad.

Gyutaro loved to do it every once in a while somewhere where the two of you could get caught. However, the basement parking lot of the mall was dark and all the cars around yours were empty so it was the most favorable scenario for now. Plus, the windows of your car were dark enough that people outside couldn't see anything going on inside. You took off the jacket you were wearing as well as your pants, followed by your blouse as Gyutaro undid his belt and unbuttoned his pants. You got up from the driver's seat and sat on his lap, straddling him and taking his face for kissing him passionately while he caressed your entire body and took off your bra to throw it in the back seats. Gyutaro's tongue left a hot, wet trail from your ears to your neck, taking one of your breasts into his mouth while he sensually massaged your other nipple, making you begin to moan. Your hips moved on him in circles making your small panties wet, the fabric slipping between your folds until your lips began to peek out from the edges. Both of Gyutaro's hands on your ass, you could feel the tent just below your clit causing electricity to run throughout your body until your boyfriend's curious and desire filled fingers pushed your panties aside from your crotch to free your pussy.

"Wow...you're really needy babe." Gyutaro said, licking his lips at the sight.

He wanted to throw you on the back seat and place both of your legs on his shoulders and immerse his face between your legs for hours until he made you writhe with pleasure and made your toes cramp trying to stretch within the small space of your car but his cock was greedier so he decided to pull down the edge of his boxers to let you continue moistening his tip in the middle of your crystalline folds. You were very wet and needy too, you asked Gyutaro to put both hands on your tits and not stop touching you while you rode him, holding onto his shoulders as if your life depended on it. You felt the car move with the jumps you made on top of your boyfriend. You thought that if someone saw the movement maybe they would know what was happening but you couldn't care less at this moment.

"Aaah-aah, Gyutaro..." the heat inside the car was unbearable but it helped to arouse you both even more. "The seat...tilt the seat darling-ngh! Aah!"

"As you want."

Gyutaro wanted to tease you a little, he grabbed the lever under his seat and in less than a second he pulled it causing the seat to suddenly recline back making you jump and lose your balance momentarily, causing Gyutaro to slide inside you until the bottom. You both moaned deep in your throats as you felt you clench around him making him cum. Sweat dripped down your boyfriend's forehead, your breasts bouncing with each of your jumps until you suddenly felt a small usual release from your orgasm, making you moan repetitively and arch your back, wetting Gyutaro's pants.

It was just a quickie so Gyutaro would settle into his seat and compose himself to go home, until you grabbed him by the collar of his shirt to kiss him.

"We're not done yet..." You motioned for him to change positions and he gladly accepted.

You were now lying back on the seat while Gyutaro took off his shirt on top of you. You placed your feet on the dashboard of the car and opened your legs so your boyfriend could take off your panties, putting them in his pocket while he sank back into you.

"Gy-Gyutaro! Please touch me, aah! Touch me more!"

You demanded that his fingers be in every part of you, you lowered your fingers towards your cunt and looked for that place that drives you crazy so that Gyutaro could touch it and play with it over and over again just like you do sometimes. You told him how to move his fingers and at what speed. Luckily the boy is very smart with these things, his fingers worked wonders and the edge of his nails on your folds while he kneaded your clit quickly made you shiver completely. You spread your legs wider to give him more room and then you realized how hot it was inside the car. You didn't want to stop and miss this magnificence just to turn on the air conditioning, you would rather hold out a little longer until you were done. The heat was unbearable, the smell of sex filled the vehicle, the windows began to fog up and the sweat ran from behind your knees to your heels.

You could feel Gyutaro slosh into you over and over again making the passenger seat creak. Your insides tightened, your abdomen tensed and you felt your clit get wet and throb more and more until a delicious sensation took over your entire pussy and caused a full stream to come out of you, wetting your ass, Gyutaro's clothes and everything. seat.

At first you thought you had peed and imagining that killed you with shame but then you noticed that the smell was not the same. Plus, you had just gone to pee when you got out of the car before heading to the grocery store. Seconds later Gyutaro had his second orgasm and finished dirtying the couch beneath you with his seed dripping out of the two of you until little by little his thrusts stopped and he pulled out of you to help put you back together.

You were very happy! You had proven that Gyutaro was the perfect man, he had just made you have the strongest squirt you had ever had. You had never had one this big even when trying new things inside your room so this meant a lot to you. The fact that he knew how to do exactly what you liked and that he treated your body as you expected and even better made you fall more and more in love with him. The seat was a mess, it was completely soaked and sticky, stained white and had a strange smell that made you blush. Your body ached and with Gyutaro's help you settled back into the driver's seat to wipe yourself with the paper you kept in the glove compartment and give some to Gyutaro for himself.

You both got dressed and you turned on the air conditioning as well as the strawberry-scented car air freshener and started the car when your legs fully recovered.

"Is your mother at home or should you go back to take care of Ume?" You asked, touching up your lipgloss.

"She's at home, actually, she must have already gotten home from work."

"Ok, then we will sleep in my apartment my love." Gyutaro smiled with amusement.

"I can't wait to rip your clothes off again." Gyutaro said, placing his hand between your legs. "I'm gonna make that little cunt splatter on me again and again all night."

#gyutaro x reader #gyutaro shabana #gyutaro #gyutaro smut #kny smut #demon slayer smut #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #demon slayer x reader #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #public kink

[princessmaybank]

AAAAH CONGRATULATIONS ON THE 1.5K BESTIEEEEE 💕💕💕💕

I'm intrigued in finding out what you're gonna cook up with this one

🍒 22.) "Do I make you horny Y/N?" with JJ ofc ;))))))) with him edging reader like crazy

love youuu 💕💕😘

Thank you for your ask baby! I hope you enjoy this! I tried! Sorry it's longer than I anticipated. Let me know what you think!

Do I Make You Horny?

Pairings: BestFriend!JJ x Fem!Reader

Warnings: I think it's literally just oral (Fem. receiving) and edging...if not let me know!

Summary: Read the ask ^

Author's Note: I hope you like it! I tried!

Y/N's POV:

"Pope what the fuck?!" JJ squealed to his best friend that splashed him with water. Pope only laughed in response as JJ started pulling his shirt off over his head. I couldn't help but squeeze my thighs together when I saw his wet abs. It was only us three today because the others had work or were busy to some capacity.

My eyes wandered my best friend's toned body as I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth. I tried so hard to focus on literally anything else. The guys started walking towards me so I tried to re-adjust myself. "Hey sorry Y/N something came up and I'm gonna have to leave." My eyes met with a sad Popes. "That's okay Pope, we can hang later." I smiled at him before he walked away. "Does that mean you're leaving too?" I look to JJ. "No, we're friends too, we can hang, unless ya don't wanna.." He said shrugging his shoulders. "No!" I shout. My cheeks went hot from embarrassment. I tried to hide it as he sat at the foot of my long beach chair. "I mean no, I'd like to hang with you Jay." I said once I figured out how to speak correctly again. He chuckled lightly to himself before looking me in the eyes. "C'mon let's go to the chateau." He helps me off the chair and we pack up, heading towards John B's house.

JJ POV:

"Pope what the fuck?!" I threw my hands in the air after he splashed me with water. I hated the feeling of a wet T-shirt, it didn't sit right with me so I took it off and threw it to the side. "Yo, looks like you've got an admirer." Pope points toward Y/N, who is staring at me like she is ready to devour me. "Fuck me..." Is all I could mutter. "Maybe you should go sort that out.." My best friend winked at me and patted my back. "You sure bro?" I asked, feeling bad about leaving him hanging. "Dude, plenty of time to catch up later. Go get em tiger." He pats me on the back before we walk over to her and explain that he needed to leave. When we got over there, she looked so flustered, it made my dick tug in my jeans.

I finally got her to agree to go back to the chateau with me. She hopped on my bike after I did and she seemed a little scared. "Gotta hold on Y/N." I tried to grab her arms and pull them around my torso but she pulled away. I couldn't see her face but I bet her cheeks are beat red right now. "C'mon I won't bite, gotta hold on to me." I say teasingly. She still didn't listen so I threw my kickstand up and jerked the bike forward, it made her fall into my back and hold on tight. I smirked to myself and drove us to JB's house.

When we got there she seemed so on edge, I tried handing her a beer, even trying to get her to have a smoke sesh but nothin. She just sat there with her hands between her thighs. They squeezed her clasped hands and she couldn't look me in the eyes. She was so turned on. I can't lie, seeing her like this made my dick twitch. "Hey y'alright?" I ask trying to have some sort of conversation. "I'm fine, we just never hang out, alone." That's the point. Needed her alone. Needed her to myself. I walk over and sit next to her on the couch. My hand gently placed itself on her thigh before I took the last swig of my beer. "So?" I ask curiously. "So...it's not like awkward?" She still couldn't look at me. Her thighs seemed to be squeezing tighter now that I was so close. "Why would it be awkward?" I try to get her eyes on mine without touching her. She stayed silent.

I asked again. "Y/N. Why would it be awkward?" I say and as soon as I'm finished with my sentence, I grab her chin and tilt it up so her gorgeous eyes are on mine. I must have done it a little forcefully based on the whimper that shot out of her mouth. A smirk gathered on my lips as I squeezed her thigh, eliciting a moan from her lips. I bring her face closer, now more intimidating. "Do I make you horny, Y/N? " I ask and watch as her cheeks flushed. "W-wha-" She was frantic before I shushed her. "Hey, it's okay.." I released her hands from her thighs "..got me excited too princess." I say and place one of her hands on my covered cock. Her mouth shot open in surprise.

"I don't know what you're talking about Jay..." She stood up fast and wrapped her arms around herself. "Y/N.." I warned, standing slowly. "Come here." I motioned with my fingers. Surprisingly she complied. I dip my head next to her ear and place my finger in the band of her shorts, sliding back and forth teasingly. "So you're telling me, that if I dip my fingers in that sweet little pussy of yours.." I exhale deeply. "..you won't soak my fingers?" My hand traveled lower, I heard her gasp from my touch when I reached her clit. Pushing past, I slowly meet her entrance before sliding them in with ease. She gasped louder this time. "Still don't know what I'm talking about?" I asked, pulling my fingers from her hole and bringing them between our faces, showing off just how slick she was with one pump. I looked her in the eyes as I sucked her juices off of me. "So sweet..gonna let me taste some more princess?" She was awfully quiet today, nothing like her. "I see the uncertainty in your eyes princess, why don't we have a trial run, you let me eat you out and if it doesn't work or is too overwhelming, we never talk about it again." I smile at her. "What if it does.." She questioned, her cheeks were hot. "Then we'll talk about this, but for now I really wanna dip my tongue in you...gonna let me?" She nods and I lead her to the bedroom.

By the time I got her bottoms and panties off, she was breathing heavily and trying to hide. I reassured her that I was so excited to see her beautiful body. Eventually she trusted me and opened up for me. My first finger found its way to her opening and ran up and down her slit. "I'm gonna ask you again, since I didn't like your answer last time." I chuckled and looked up at her. "Do I make you horny, Y/N? " I smirked as her cheeks blared red. "Ye-yes." She whispered. "Yes what princess?" I teased and continued moving my finger up and down. "Ye-yes daddy-" Y/N said. It spilled right out of her mouth. She looked extremely embarrassed, but I was hot and bothered by it. "Not what I was asking for, but I like your response better." I smirk. "Keep calling me that princess." My tongue poked out and I placed it at the bottom of her entrance. I slid it up slowly to her clit and back down.

As my tongue picked up pace while swirling all around, my fingers found her nipples and pinched them. I looked up for a moment and saw that she was covering her mouth, she was still being quiet. I pulled my mouth away and got close to her. Y/N whined when I got close. "I was about to cum.." Shock was written over my face. "Princess. I highly doubt that. You didn't make a peep." I laid next to her. "No I swear I was so close!" She exclaimed. "Okay well you're gonna have to let me hear those pretty little sounds come from your lips if ya want me to do my job right." I smirked and her cheeks heated up again. She was so easy to fluster. I loved it. Y/N nodded in response and I got back to work.

I looked up from my position between her legs and noticed she was subconsciously starting to cover her mouth again, so I did what anyone else would do and bit her clit. She let out a loud moan and rolled her hips on my face.

I replayed that moment in my head so many times in the moment and tried not to bust in my shorts. My lips stayed on her clit and sucked as my fingers started pushing inside her. "Oh shit- Jay-" She moaned again. As much as I loved hearing my name on her lips, I asked her to call me something else. I pulled away again, removing my fingers as well. "What did you call me princess?" I smirked as she whined. She looked up at me with an annoyance in her eyes. "Your name!" She crossed her arms. "That's not my name right now princess..you know that." I slapped her clit lightly and her body jerked. "I'm sorry." She huffed. I gave her a look telling her she was missing something. "I'm sorry- daddy.." She rolled her eyes. I laughed. "That'll do for now, we'll talk about your attitude later." I squatted in front of her again, taking the same position I'd been in this entire time.

My tongue went into her hole and I flicked it up and down slowly. Her small hands found my hair, tugging gently, though she'd probably think she was being too rough. "Please- more.." She gasped. "More what princess..?" I asked and went back in. "Please give me more daddy.." She barely got through her sentence before I picked up my pace and fucked her with my tongue. My hand traveled to her clit and rubbed harsh circles, making more moans slip out. My mouth left her opening and spit on her lower lips. I sucked on them a little before my tongue went to her clit and my fingers went back inside her hole. Her moans were more intense now.

I chuckled and pulled my lips away from her and slowed my fingers down, not to a stop, just enough for her to want more. "Look at me. Look me in the eyes princess.." I said slightly above a whisper. She's such a good girl, her eyes fell to mine. "Do I make you horny, Y/N? " I smirked. "Y-you- asked that already..please- faster.." Y/N whined. "C'mon princess, just answer the question and you'll get what you want.."

A whimper left her lips. My fingers pumped slowly inside of her, not picking up any pace. "Mmmm please-" Maybe she wasn't a good girl. My free hand went to her clit and slapped it harder than last time. "Yes daddy! Yes you make me horny!" She screamed, for everyone to hear. Thankfully no one was home. Actually I'm not sure I'd care if they had heard her coming undone for me. I sped up and reattached my lips to her clit, licking and sucking on it until her back arched off the bed.

"Gonna cum for me princess?" I moved for a brief moment and immediately went back. "Mmm- uh-huh, f-fuck.." She breathed out through moans. I removed my fingers and replaced them with my tongue so I could taste her. Soon enough she released in my mouth while she screamed my name. My tongue cleaned up any cum that I may have missed and I went up to lay with her.

"So.." I teased. Y/N chuckled with her eyes closed. "Jay- let's talk later, let me catch my breath then I'm sucking your dick." I laughed so hard. "Okay pri-" She cut me off. "No- You think you can edge me a few times and think you can just get away with that? I don't think so." Oh fuck. I should've thought about that. "Fine princess, just go easy on me.." I smiled. "Yeah, sure. You're cute."

#princess jade's 1.5k celebration #1.5k followers #outer banks #jj maybank #rudy pankow smut #rudy pankow x reader #obx fic #obx x reader #outer banks smut #jj maybank smut #jj maybank imagine #smut prompts

[ollie-lolly]

Sensational

Obey me Satan x Gender neutral reader

Contains: suggestive themes

Authors note: thought I’d make something for my birthday, enjoy, Lovies🩷 This is kinda a part one so if you like more please let me know!

It was a pretty normal conversation within Satan’s finally clean room. Having spent 4 hours cleaning up the variety of books littered around the floors and walls. And sure half of the time it was Satan telling you “Don’t touch that one!” And “Wait stop!” But somehow no spells or curses were made active. You wiped the sweat off of your forehead as you felt your clothes stick to your skin due to the piles and piles of books that needed carrying. “Go sit down, I’ll get us some ice tea.” Satan said as he gently placed his hands just under your arms, pressing gently against your rib cage. “T- thanks.” You could only say between soft pants, finally sitting down on the fully clear chair that had been littered with books and papers for months. Satan looked at your face, what he would do to get that same face under him. Lovingly whispering his love for you, as he would pin your wrists and fuck his love right into your- “Satan you okay?” You interrupted his toughts. “Yes I’m fine thank you for asking.” He said as a slight flush to his cheeks came rushing. You returned a soft smile. “I’ll get us that ice tea.” He said as he quickly left the room before you could hold him back by asking him again how he felt. His mind focused on making the sweet ice tea you love so much. Occasionally drifting off on how he would pleasure you until you couldn’t take anymore. He knew that’s how it always went for him, sweet love for his interest first then the dirty thoughts that would make Asmodeus proud. He tried to blame it on him for months. Claiming he “Used his power to cause chaos.” But Asmodeus was far from home most nights as Satan let his toughts drown him in deprived need for pleasure. Satan walked back to his room once he was done making his drinks. Once he came back in he saw your sweet face illuminated by the moonlight behind you. Your eyes met his, for a little longer then intended. Eventually breaking the eye contact to gently pet the seat beside you for him to sit. With no words exchanged he sat down. Sipping on the ice tea as you did too. This wasn’t an awkward silence, but not an uncomfortable one either. He preyed he wasn’t going crazy within his own mind. Your hand slowly placed itself on his thigh as you drank your ice tea. A soft shiver went up his spine in enjoyment. “How does that feel?” You asked, feeling slightly bolder when he didn’t push you away. “Hm, if I may request I’d like something more.” He softly chuckled trying to push the excitement down a little. Satan slowly stood up, placing his knee besides your hip in your seat, placing his hand just under your chin. “May I give you more then just a soft sensation?” He said almost whispering before he gently placed your ice tea down on the table resting beside the chair you sat on. Your body slightly trembled in excitement and beginning arousal. “I’d love that.” You said under your breath before he kissed you. Slowly tracing your spine as he slipped his hand under your shirt. When you let out a soft sound of pleasure he went in for something a bit more intense, by pressing his hardening bulge between your legs as he pulled you closer by your thighs. Your hand wrapped around his neck, softly biting his lower lip. Softly groaning against you when you gently ran your hands through his blonde locks of soft hair.

#obey me smut #obey me #obey me x reader #obey me x mc #obey me satan x reader #obey me nightbringer #obey me satan #obey me satan x mc #obey me satan x you

[bearfeathers]

i love that scene where francis actually decides to be the teensiest bit vulnerable with james by telling him he's there because sophia asked it of him. because james, instead of being understanding or anything, hits him with the "miss cracroft who rejected you, twice as i heard it?" and when francis, clearly bothered, responds with "you discussed this?" there's this little pause where you know james is just fucking sitting there like

#the terror #amc the terror #james fitzjames #francis crozier #fitzier #it makes me laugh really hard sorry #he's so fucking awkward trying to walk it back too #like just digging himself a deeper hole #no bro he was just confiding in me fr that's all we weren't making fun of you don't be mad bro pls

[nanaslutt]

Bodyswap w/ Gojo part 2

part 1, here

Contains: fem reader, caught masturbating, teasing, dirty talk, rough sex :3, unprotected sex, multiple creampies, multiple orgasms, kinda selfcest?? (they’re in each others body’s while they fuck), spanking

MDNI

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ

"Ahh! F-fuck, mmm-" Gojo's voice could be heard from the other side of the door, with squelching accompanying the lewd moans into the hallway. Gojo pressed your body up to the door quietly, listening to you use his body to get off after telling him to not even look at yours in the shower. Someone's a little hypocrite~ he internally cooed, fighting back a giggle.

As full of Gojo was of himself, he wasn't the type of guy to get off on his own moans, but he did find it arousing that you were in his body and were using him like some slut for your own pleasure. He waited patiently until he heard his body cum, still pressed against the door until the sighing and shuffling on the other side of the door died before he knocked to announce his arrival.

Here the two of you lie, in your room in silence while Gojo stares at the poorly tucked away cum rag you used to clean up your mess under your bed. "Ahh~ I always feel so much better after a shower." He sighs, starting up a conversation. "Mmm, me too." You mumbled, still staring at the ceiling from your place on the bed. "Yeah? Why don't you go take one?" He asked, walking over to your bed and making himself comfortable as he lay against your pillows.

"Gross Satoru, I'm not taking a shower in this body, unless I have to.. and who said you could sit on my bed?" You chastized, setting yourself up on your forearms to look at him, finding that it was still hard to make eye contact. Every time you did you were reminded of what a pervert you had been, and how you probably almost got caught.

"No? You don't feel dirty?" He asked pouting out his bottom lip teasingly, insistent on keeping his eyes glued to yours even tho yours tried to avoid his like the plague. "Why would I feel dirty? You had your infinity on during the fight, you're spotless." You rambled. "Maybe, but don't you feel the need to wash up after you cum?" He said, leaning your head in his hands as he smiled at you from under your lashes.

You felt your entire body heat up at his words, you had the same feeling as when you took one too many candies as a kid and your parents called you out for it. You could feel your face heat up and your palms become sweaty. You tried to play dumb, making brief eye contact with your body and noticing the smug look Gojo had manipulated on its face, before plopping your head back down on the bed as you laid flat and made yourself at home by staring at the ceiling once more.

"W-why is that relevant?" You questioned, hoping somehow that Gojo hadn't somehow caught on to what you did in his body, you thought you had been so careful! "Playing coy doesn't sound good when it's coming from my voice~" He said, dragging out his words for emphasis as he sat straight, looking down at his form as you lay still on the bed. Fuck, how did his technique work again? He could teleport, right, maybe if you just closed your eyes realllly hard and focused you could excape this horribly awkward conversation.

You tried, you really did, but to no avail. When you opened your eyes you were still looking at your tan ceiling, and you still saw your body looking down at you through your peripherals. "Did it feel good?" He asked, making your face heat up. "It sounded like it felt good." He giggled. "Y-you were listening?" You gasped, looking into your eyes now as the two of you kept eye contact. "I don't think that really matters when you violated my body when I was away~" He cooed, making a strong point. You still couldn't help but feel embarrassed thinking about how much me might've heard.

"S-Satoru I'm sorry, really, I have no excuses I just- fuck I don't even know what came over me." You blushed, trying to keep eye contact with yourself to seem more sincere as you spoke to him. "Ahh~ I cant believe you would do this after you yelled at me to not even look at your body~" He said dramatically, wrapping your arms around your body to block off your view and make you look smaller as he pretended to feel violated.

The white-haired man was having so much fun right now, it wasn't every day he got to tease you like this, so he figured why not drag it out a bit. You started apologizing profusely, saying over and over how sorry you were before your own laugh cut you off. "S-sorry." He stuttered through a laugh, whipping his own smile off your face as he dropped your chin down to look at you in faux seriousness. Something told you he didn't care as much as he said he did.

"It's amusing to hear you grovel like this, I didn't mean to laugh out loud." He confessed, making your face heat up in annoyance. You were mad that you had zero ground to chastise him right now as if he really was upset about this whole thing, you didn't want to make it any worse. "It did feel good though right?" He asked again, biting your lip as he scooted closer to his body. "My cock is sooo sensitive I bet you were having a field day~ I don't blame you for not being able to stop~" He sympathized, using your hand to rub over his abs, a sensation that made your skin tingle under his touch.

"S-satoru-" You tried to interrupt him, "Did you play with my balls too? I never last long when I do that." He added, lowering his hand to rub over his v-line as he watched the tent in his pants grow slowly and steadily at his words. "Satoru what are you d-doing?" You managed to ask, his voice coming out meek and submissive. The man hummed, caressing his hand lower and lower until he reached the band of his sweats, teasing your fingertips under the waistline.

"I guess I'm just a little envious that you got to experience cumming in my body, and I didn't even get to look at yours~" He pouted, playing dumb. He made a good point, you had perved out on his own body like this when you set such strict rules for him, that he sounded like he actually followed. "So what does that mean?" You asked hesitantly, swallowing hard when he pulled back his pants and boxers before letting them snap back against your skin. "Well.. you must be a little curious to see what fucking something other than my hand feels like, right?" He asked, hitting the nail on the head.

"Satoru if you're talking about us having sex right now I don't-" Your voice cut you off, you felt a hand start to rub in tantalizing circles over the tent in your pants, and you quickly dropped your gaze away from your face to watch. "That's exactly what I had in mind~" He cooed, tilting his head at you while he rubbed his cock in your smaller hand. "Isn't that.. going to be uncomfortable?" You asked, surprising Gojo when you weren't immediately put off by the idea, the hand that was rubbing his cock definitely aiding in your answer.

"Does it feel uncomfortable?" He asked, sliding his hand under the waistband of his boxers as he gripped his cock with your hand and started stroking it directly. As good as pleasure felt in your body, he wished he could feel you touch his cock like this, but maybe after this, he would have an easier time getting you into bed when things went back to normal. "Hmm? Does it?" He cooed in your voice, making you blush at how seductive you sounded.

"F-feels good but-" You choked out through a moan, your breath hitching when Gojo slung your body to sit on top of himself as he used your free hand to cover his mouth, stopping your words. "Just look at me in the mirror if fucking your body is too weird~" He giggled, watching as your eyes looked past your body sitting on top of you as you made eye contact with Gojo's body in the mirror. "I for one don't mind looking at myself like this, I've definitely had a wet dream about this before." He giggled, easing your nerves at his unseriousness, you doubted he was joking either.

He released the hand that was covering your mouth as he pulled his boxers down enough for his dripping cock to spring out. "Fuck, are you that wet because of the situation, or is that all my body's doing?" He laughed, rubbing his pointer finger over the top of his dick as he tapped the precum agaisnt it, making a lewd wet 'plp' sound. "S-shut up." You groaned through your teeth, feeling the coil in your stomach tighten when he wrapped his hand around himself again and started stroking at a propper pace. "Shit, this is so weird, heh." Gojo laughed, the feeling of looking at himself while he jerked himself off, out of body, was truly an experience.

"This was y-your idea, don't complain now." You said in his voice, watching intently at his hand that moved over his cock expertly. His precise and knowledgeable movements felt a hell of a lot better than your own, and the visual of your hand dwarfed by his massive cock was a sight to behold, one that aided in your growing arousal. "Yeah, yeah." He said, briefly sitting up as he pulled your shorts and panties down your body, leaving his cock hanging twitching in the air between the two of you as he disrobed your body.

The man turned around and faced himself in the mirror as he sat on top of you, the bottom half of your body bare as he pulled your shirt over your body and feasted his eyes on your naked form. "Shit, actually.." He smirked, biting his lip as he ran your hands down your body seductively. "Fuck me like this, wanna watch your body move while you do it." He said, reaching behind you to grab his dick again and stroke it while he continued admiring your body.

"Satoru please don't look it's embarrassing." You begged, covering your face with his massive hands as your entire body felt like it was on fire from the arousal and combined embarrassment. "Im about to watch you get fucked, you might wanna get over your fears." He giggled. "Besides, you're fucking hot, can feel your body gettin' all horny from just lookin' at it." He confessed in your voice, making you whine. The man grabbed his dick and lifted his body over his cock, looking down to line it up with your entrance before he pressed the tip against your hole.

"W-wait Satoru a condom-" You warned when you felt him start to sit down on you. "Trust me, you do not want a condom on when you feel this." He said, gasping when his tip popped past the tight ring of your cunt. Every alarm that was going off in your head melted away when you felt the tight and warm sensation envelop his cock, you felt his balls twitch and tighten the more he sat down on his cock, you would worry about the lack of a condom later.

"Fuuuuuck, that's the shit~" He groaned, bottoming out on his cock while he placed his hands on his body's knees and stared at your body in the mirror, specifically where the two of you were connected. "I feel so fucking f-fulll~" He wined, wiggling his hips in circles on your lap as he tried to adjust to the feeling of having a cock inside him for the first time. His dick was pressing up against all the right spots in your walls he didn't even find when he was fingering your cunt earlier in the shower, this was a hundred times better than your pathetic digits, he started to understand why girls kept blowing up his phone after a one night stand now.

"I- I think I'm gonna cum- p-please don't move." You wined, using Satoru's massive hands to grip your body's waist hard enough to leave bruises as you tried to make sure he couldn't even wiggle around. "I wouldn't mind feeling that~" He said, referring to you filling him up. You tilted your head back and took some deep breaths to steady yourself. Your cunt was incredibly warm and wet it felt like it was going to melt his dick as he sat still on you. The strong warmth that had blossomed in your tummy was almost overbearing, and your head was spinning at all the stimulation.

You knew Gojo was experienced, so how did it still feel this good? How did it still feel so sensitive? Was it because it was your first time feeling anything like it? You chalked it up to that, your train of thought getting cut off when your voice spoke through the room.

"Can I move? This fucking cunt is aching for it." Satoru wined, trying to wiggle his hips in your strong grip. "I think so." You nodded when he looked at you for your approval. It was so freaky seeing someone else control your body, but the pleasure of your own cunt squeezing around the cock you temporarily had eased your nerves significantly. "You might have to help me out, never rode a dick before." He giggled in your voice, turning his head back to look at your body in the mirror as he lifted his weight until his dick was almost completely out of him, before he sat all of your weight back down on his cock.

"Oh- fuck-" Gojo wined in your voice, coming out a little more submissive than he would've liked. He quickly started a fast pace bounding on your lap, your jaw dropped open as you allowed yourself to feel everything. "Y-eah it feels fucking good d-doesn't it?" Gojo tried to laugh through a moan, your voice getting louder when you started fucking his hips up into your body, poisoning his dick in and out of the man who possessed your body.

Gojo was right, you could think of nothing worse than something like a condom blocking your direct contact from feeling your tight walls wrap around his cock like this. You were impressed by your strength in this body when you used your grip on the body on top of you to lift it up and bring it down harder on his cock, making him scream out while your breathing picked up.

"S-so roughh~" Gojo smiled at his current body in the mirror, abandoning one of his hands that had stabilized himself on your thigh to rub his clit in fast circles, making your walls squeeze his dick tightly. "God Satoru- loosen" thrust "up!" you grit in his voice, your eyes threatening to roll back in your head at how intense the feeling of your pulsing walls around his dick felt. "C-cant ohmygod c-cumming!" He cried suddenly, his back arching forward as your cunt spasmed around his cock.

You fucked him through his orgasm, loud short wines and curses fell from his lips as he came, his body jerked as the waves crashed over him, his body going limp in your hold. You took the opportunity to manhandle your body, quickly turning the two of you around in one swift movement you forced him into a weak doggystyle position, his face being pressed into the sheets while drool dripped out from the corner of his lips.

You couldn't let up on his cunt, the pulsing around his cock was an amazing feeling and you were determined to feel it again, Gojo pressed your thighs together and crossed your feet at the overstimulation he was feeling as mindless babbles and whines of your own name could be heard in your voice underneath you. You prayed no one was around the dorms at this time, as they might be a little confused on what they were hearing right now.

"Fuck- make me c-cum again give it to me g-give it to me" He whined, his words being slurred into one as you fucked heavy and mean thrusts into his cunt. You don't know what came over you, but the need to respond and talk dirty back to him was overwhelming you, "Yeah? Wanna cum all over this cock again?" You said, making yourself blush as you aroused yourself hearing his dirty words in your ears. "Y-e-ssssss fuckk~" Gojo whined into the sheets, a cock-drunken smile plastered on his face as he took everything your gave him.

You felt his balls coil tighter, the knot in his stomach tying itself harder into knots as you fucked a particularly soft spot inside your cunt. The telltale sign of Gojo's orgasm was creeping over his body, making your thrusts grow sloppy. Gojo laughed from underneath you, the sound being chopped up by moans. "Y-you're gonna c-cum arent you?" He teased, trying to look at you out of the corner of his eye.

You probably should've felt more uncomfortable with how arousing fucking your own body was, but you would probably dream about this night for years to come, so you could ponder about that later.

The expression Gojo had on your face was so pretty, you had to admit. Your eyes kept rolling back in your head each time you fucked into him, the fucked out smile he had on, the moans that were forced out of your mouth, and the way your cunt pulsed around you pushed you over the edge.

Gojo whined when he felt you still against his ass, "Yeahhhh fill me up, fuck your cum into me~" He whined, taking advantage of being in your body to say shit you would never say, for his own pleasure. He bit his lip at how warm his cum was when it shot rope after rope inside him. Your clit was throbbing at the feeling, he so badly wanted to reach down and pet it till he came as well, but he would wait till you started fucking into him again.

Right when you started coming down from your orgasm, something akin to the feeling of a back scratch, or getting your head massaged at the salon washed over the two of you. Suddenly you had an intense ache in your lower back, and your tummy felt strangely warm. "Heh, what a fucking twist~" You heard Gojo's voice coo down at you, only this time, you weren't in control of it anymore. "I wanted to feel my cock cum inside your cunt while I was in your body one last time, but now I can feel it from my own." He grinned maliciously.

Even though Gojo had just cum, he started fucking into you like a madman, the squelching between your legs was so much louder now as your combined cum gathered around the base of his thick cock. "Have fun in my body?" He asked, giggling with his signature headache inducing giggle, "You liked cumming inside something? Glad you didnt use a condom huhhh~?" He teased, pulling his hips back to the tip before he fucked his entire occk back into you, making you scream out.

Gojo had adjusted surprisingly quick, I guess that makes sense for the world's strongest sorcerer. You on the other hand were still trying to come to terms with being in your own body again and having practically no time to adjust to the feeling of his cock before he started bullying it into your walls. It's not like it hurt, but the feeling of him fucking into your sweet spot so rough was almost too much. "Oh, you were aching down here~" Gojo remembered, reaching his hand under your body to rub your clit in little circles. "Let me help you~" He cooed, sucking air in through his teeth when your cunt tightened around him at the addition of stimulation.

"S-toru wa-ittt-" You cried, trying to warn him of how close you were but ultimately falling short. Your walls started to spasm around him as your body came for the nth time that night. "Oh shiiit~ Feels so fucking good baby-" Gojo groaned, letting his head fall back and his jaw drop in a small o as you came hard around his length, and he actually got to feel it this time. Your body was completely limp to his mean thrusts, your eyes rolling back as nonsense spilled from your lips as he fucked you through your orgasm, past overstimulation, and towards another high.

He lifted your tummy up from underneath you and pressed down on your lower back simultaneously to get you in a meaner arch, before he went back to rubbing your clit. The man placed his foot next to your body to give himself more leverage to fuck you harder, and that's exactly what he did. "Tell me you need my cum- cmon baby- say it-" He cooed, gritting his teeth together as he used your cunt to work himself up to his orgasm.

His eyes darted between the mess the two of you were creating at your fucked out, drooling face. He pulled back his hold on your hip to leave a mean spank against your ass, making you yelp out into the room. "What did I say, huh? Don't fucking ignore me when I'm this close~" Gojo chastized, shaking his head. "N-eed your cum 'toruuu" You slurred, "W-ant to feel you fill me up-" You begged, your words being chopped up by his mean thrusts.

"Again," Gojo said, leaving another smack on the fat of your ass. "C-cum inside mee~" You repeated. "Again," Another smack. "Toru- toru- toru-" You repeated his name as he groaned through his teeth. He felt his balls tighten quickly before he was thrown into his orgasm. His body jerked as his hips fucked load after load into your used and abused cunt. He released a long groan when he stilled his hips to your ass and let himself finish. Your moans had quieted as you laid under him, whimpering softly each time he fucked into you but otherwise trying to catch your breath from how hard he just gave it to you.

Once Gojo had released all of his seed into you, he pulled his sore cock out and gripped himself at the base as the both of you groaned in oversensitivily. "Fuck, think you milked me dry after that one." He laughed, pulling your pussy lips to the side to get a better view of your stuffed hole that leaked his cum in a steady drip down the back of your thighs. "I don't think I've ever been so sore in my life." You said quietly into the sheets, making him giggle.

"I think that was my fault, I might've worked your cunt a little too hard in the shower." He said, letting your body drop down onto the bed as he sat beside you and rubbed your thigh soothingly. You stayed silent for a couple beats before his words registered in your head. Worked too hard in the shower? What? Wait.. did he?

Your jaw dropped, you turned your head to look at him with an incredulous look on your face while he smiled with faux innocence down at you. "You fucking hypocrite! You made me feel bad for masturbating in your body when it sounds like you went ape shit on mine!" The man just giggled infuriatingly, "I like teasing you~ I'm sorryyyy~ You practically handed the opportunity to me!" He defended, throwing his hands up in the air.

You sighed, looking away from his irritatingly handsome face as you shut your eyes and curled your body on your side feeling a headache start to come on. "Oh come onnn~ We had a good time~" The man's voice resonated in your ears while he wrapped his large body around yours and started placing kisses on your shoulder to ease your frustration. Was it possible to kill a curse twice? You sighed as your body relaxed against him, your exhausted body welcoming the kisses.

Jujutsu sources are the worstttt..

tag list: @volmort-nipple @chicana698 @thehonored-one @famousfirefishgoth @reader69sviewpoint @prettymoonlightsworld @officialholyagua @nelliesthere @bobawh0re @maliakealoha @r0ckst4rjk

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[utilityknif3]

Nsfw!!! tehee

Imagine being Simon Ghost Riley’s ex wife who he can’t forget. You two have a son together and after being on a mission for a few weeks, he wanted to take him out somewhere for some quality time since you had full custody.

Even though he’s been away for only a few weeks, you two haven’t seen each other for months now.

…

Simon knocks on your door hesitantly. He wants to see you, he needs to. But when you open the door, he doesn’t know what to say.

You’re so beautiful, you changed but you’re glowing.

You just greet him with a simple “hi” and let him in. Simon walks in, lowering his head so he doesn’t hit it on the doorframe and you both sit on the couch and wait…

“He’s not here” you say, breaking the silence and trying to make the situation less awkward after a moment of silence.

“Where is he?” He asks with his deep voice and thick British accent that makes your heart melt each time.

“He’s at his friend’s birthday, he’ll be back later…in a few hours” you reply not daring to look at him in the eyes.

“In a few hours…aight” Simon passes a hand through his short blond hair, trying to think of something to say.

…

You two have been trying to hold a decent conversation for an hour now, catching up on your respective lives. He tells you about the struggles of his job and you tell him about whatever’s been bothering you lately…until you felt his gaze lower to your hand, especially the finger where your ring is placed, the ring he placed. The ring you can’t get rid of even though you tried to.

“You still have your wedding band?”

He asks as he stares at the ring he passed on your finger a few years before, as if he was mesmerized. He wished to do it again, and again… see you all dolled up in your pretty dress for him with that beautiful smile on your face. You two were so happy that day, like it was the best day of your lives.

He wished he could fuck you again like the night of your wedding, slowly and steadily. It was so intimate, just the two of you, his hair tickling your jaw as he pounded into you. He remembers the way your arms were wrapped around his neck and the way your hands would move to touch his hair. He remembers the sloppy kisses he gave you while he was listening to the soft symphony your moans were composing.

Simon snaps out of his transe when you answer

“Yes…it’s a pretty ring after all”

He nods.

He feels dumb for thinking that you two still had something; you moved on and it was clear.

He doesn’t want you to know that he kept the ring and a few of your things too. He doesn’t want you to know that you’re the one in his mind when he’s alone jerking himself off and overstimulating his soaked cock trying to recreate what you would do to him. He’s ashamed. The shirt that you forgot to get back from him had already been stained with his cum so many times that it doesn’t even smell like you anymore.

You already moved on but he didn’t, he never forgot your dates where you’d be just the two of you on the couch watching an old crappy movie. He never forgot the long hours he’d spend sleeping on your pregnancy belly while you’d caress gently his freshly cut hair. He never forgot the way your son would grab his big tatted arm in his small hands…He never forgot the feeling of your pussy squeezing him and taking him so well. The way you’d ride him on nights he felt tired, or the way your tongue would swirl around his tip, trying to milk every drop of cum he had left in him.

Simon loves you, he loves everything about you and never stoped loving you…

…

…that’s why you’re on the couch right now with his face buried in between your thighs. Simon’s tongue passes through your folds and teases your clit slowly while you scratch his hair. He’s so good for you, going a bit faster each time he hears you whimper.

The tip of his tongue teases your soaking hole while your toes curl around nothing.

After a moment of this sweet torture, he finally decides that his pants were getting too tight and stops licking you. He lifts his eyes to look at you, his face all red from embarrassment as your hand leaves his hair.

“Please, let me fuck you like you deserve” He asks politely while you’re panting heavily. At this point, his dick is the only thing you’ve been wanting. It’s been a while, too long.

You agree with a nod and he doesn’t hesitate to lift you up and put you gently on the kitchen counter. He used to make love to you for hours on it, it was the perfect height. He could fuck you from the front with your legs over his shoulders or from the back with your boobs pressed against the cold granite countertop.

He takes a moment to appreciate your body and watches you all vulnerable and needy for him. He wants to make you cry, to make you beg for more because he knows you will want more. He’s the only one who knows what’s best for you.

As you adjust your body on the counter, Simon hurries to take his fully hard boner out of his pants and boxers. It’s bigger than you remember, covered of his precum and ready to stuff you full of his semen.

You bite your lip in anticipation the moment he grips your thigh to holds it up. He’s so hot when he’s on top, his eyebrows are furrowed as he lines up his dick with the hole of your soaked cunt.

He puts it in with a low “fuck” escaping his lips. You feel so good around him.

Simon pounds into you, his fingers digging into the fat of your thighs, making sure to leave dark bruises on your skin. He’s loosing himself into your folds feeling your burning walls squeeze his cock too much for him to hold his orgasm.

He burries his dick deeply into you, his tip kissing your cervix at each thrust and eventually it begins to feel too stimulating, too good. Simon cums into you but doesn’t stop his hips from moving. The white substance drips down to the counter and his moans are higher and louder. Now, his thrust are messy and uneven because of the overwhelming pleasure he’s feeling trying to bring you to your climax.

You reach it eventually, your own juices melting with his as you two are panting messes. Simon looks at you, at your beautiful face he missed so much. He won’t let you go again.

…

About an hour later, after a good shower, he randomly decides to kiss you and mumbles “I love you”

I know the end is ass idk how to end fics 🤯 and tbh I know that my writing sucks also bc I have great ideas but poor grammar and vocabulary 😓 I promise to get better bear with me 🙌🏾

#simon ghost riley #ghost #ghost cod #mom reader #black reader #x reader #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon riley smut #smut #cod mw2 #cod smut #black girls of tumblr #cod x reader #cod x you #female reader #ghost x reader

[suguann]

He has a feeling that the new girl running the front desk at the gym is going to be a problem—a distraction disguised in a gym uniform polo and khaki pants.

It starts with you smiling too brightly as he walks in one morning, all teeth and that little twinkle in your eye that feels like trouble when you scan his membership card.

“Good morning, Mr. Riley.” 

“It’s just Simon,” he tells you as he takes his card off the counter. 

The following day, it’s the same, except Johnny is there to make it worse.

He nudges Simon with his elbow. “She’s kinda pretty, huh?”

“Say it any louder, and she’ll hear you, mate,” he grumbles.

Simon’s not blind; of course, he knows you’re pretty, but he doesn’t have time to commit to anything outside of work—even if you smile at him like you’re happy to see him and how he’ll think about it later: on missions, at his desk, during morning runs. His head is nothing short of woven webs with thoughts of you stuck in the middle.

Honestly, it’s that you—

(You try to make small talk with him every morning, and Simon is starting to think it’s just for him because on the days he doesn’t come alone, you merely scan his card and go back to reading the open paperback book on the desk.)

It’s weird because it’s almost like you—

(He bumps into you at the supermarket and makes a dumb joke about carrots that makes you laugh. It makes him a little tongue-tied and awkward afterward because he realizes he hasn’t talked to a woman outside of only wanting a quick fuck in a really long time, but more importantly, he wants to hear it again. 

Instead, he tosses potatoes in his cart and walks away.)

He tells himself it means nothing, or not how Simon wants it to.

You’re just…he’s not even sure; acquaintances? Maybe more than that, but less than friends. Somewhere in that odd in-between phase where he only knows bits and pieces but not the whole picture.

Sometimes, he wishes—

(Simon doesn’t know what he’s doing the first time he invites you to meet the guys from work on a night out. He’s dated around a few times and had his fair share of hook-ups, but this isn’t like that. His palms are sweaty, more than usual, and no amount of wiping them on the thighs of his jeans keeps them dry.

Then you walk into the bar in a dress that’s probably too light for early spring in London—even though he stares appreciatively at the long expanse of your legs as you walk up to the table—and he wishes he wasn’t introducing you as his friend.)

But you—

(A new development happens after you slip him your phone number on one of the gym’s business cards—it’s weird that we don’t have each other’s numbers, so message me sometime or whatever—and he messages you ‘hey’ right before he leaves for a mission a few days later. 

It slowly shifts and changes over time.

You start sending him texts in the morning. Never an actual good morning text, but of the dogs you take on walks, the sunrise, the new flower box in your window. Somehow, it’s better.)

You really are—

(His house feels too hot, and he’s distracted from the movie by how close you are, how your leg drapes over his under the blanket, fingers fisting into his sweater at his stomach that clenches. An ache that grows, throbbing, spreading from his abdomen to his groin.

It feels monumental—something more than the gentle touch to the elbow to squeeze by each other in his entryway earlier or giving you his jacket that night at the bar—a tilt of the axis that makes the messy pieces fall neatly into place. 

He must be staring because you glance up at him, smiling, and the sound from the TV turns into white noise in the background.

“Can I…would you—fucking hell,” Simon runs a hand through his hair. “Can I kiss you?”

When your lips press against his, and his hands are pulling you onto his lap, where you settle hotly against his dick tenting in his jeans, he wonders why neither of you has done this before. Just kissing—him licking the seam of your mouth, and you panting his name.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” you mumble, lips brushing his.

“Me too,” and he fists his hand into the hair at your nape and pulls you back to his mouth.)

“I knew you’d be trouble,” he tells you one day, glaring at the bloke further down the bar who tried making a swipe at your ass before Simon showed up, towering over his shoulder with your fruity cocktail in hand.

“Oh, yeah?” you giggle, leaning into his side.

“Yeah,” the corners of his mouth quirk, though he hides it when he presses a kiss against your temple. “A real pain in my ass, love.”

“But yours.”

This time, he does smile. “Yes, but mine.”

Masterlist

#simon riley imagine #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #ghost x reader #ghost x you #ghost imagine #simon riley fluff #cod imagine #cod x reader #cod fic #mw2 x reader #mw2 imagine #.things i write

[yanderenightmare]

TW: NSFW, noncon, yandere, stalking

gn reader

There’s something very off about your roommate… something eerie that makes you keep your distance.

You can’t describe exactly what it was about the boy except that you felt it from the second you shook his hand. The way he introduced himself… you don’t know… you had this unshakable feeling as though he already knew you from somewhere.

It’s a weird thought to have of someone you’d only just met. You knew you were probably just being paranoid. It was your first time sharing your space with someone other than family, so it might very well just have been you being apprehensive.

Not that you’d ever let it show, though. You didn’t want things between the two of you to be awkward when you’d be living together for the next three years of getting your degree.

You just needed to get used to him, is what you told yourself. 

So you laughed at his jokes and listened to his brags with a polite smile as though nothing was wrong, even when he continued being strange. 

For starters, he had almost nothing to unpack – as though he only planned to stay about a month or two. Everything seemed newly bought as well – unused and sterile, like a movie set.

You don’t know… maybe he was a minimalist even though he didn’t seem the type.

It shouldn't really have made your skin crawl the way it did. But whether it made sense or not, you couldn’t shake the discomfort – walking around in a constant wariness of him. 

Everything about him seemed like a half-assed theatre act.

You’d see him in the lecture hall, walking from here to there, buying strawberry milk from the vending machines. His textbooks remained piled on his desk in your shared dorm room – but you’d never seen any one of them open. And when curiosity and suspicion made you flip up one of his notebooks, you found it was all blank except for a few shitty doodles on the first page. You never see him cram for exams or writing any papers. You don’t think you’ve ever even seen him pull a laptop out of his bag.

It’s like he isn't a student at all…

And something about the rest of his performance just rubs you the wrong way.

It’s as though he’s practiced all his facial expressions in the mirror – as though he’s studied social cues and body language in a human behavior manual instead of having learned them naturally. It makes you uneasy – how his smile is always a bit too wide and a bit too stiff to be genuine and how all his words are like dialogue off a script.

Somehow, it feels as though he’s wearing a second skin – hiding something… something that’s not quite right on the inside.

It grosses you out when he tries flirting with you. But you do your best to hide it. Brushing him off by changing the topic, inviting other friends when he asks to eat lunch together, laughing off his attempts as though he’s making jokes – always excusing yourself when you end up alone with him for too long. 

You try to avoid him as much as you can. Pretending to study when you’re in the dorm together – and otherwise going to bed early.

He tells you he’ll see you at the party later when you leave to pregame with some friends. You can only muster a smile and a curt “Sure.” before leaving. 

As for seeing each other later – you hope you don’t.

But of course you do. You can’t seem to escape him. Everywhere you go, he follows.

It doesn’t help that all your friends think he’s so hot, immediately calling him over, gushing over him as though he’s some type of celebrity. They don’t understand your reservation – if they were you, they’d have fucked him the first night of moving in together.

It’s not like you don’t find him attractive as well. You admit he is ridiculously handsome, and if the circumstances were different, you’d say you lucked out being assigned the same dorm room as him. 

But as it were – he gives you the same feeling as spotting a spider.

He’s got his arm slung around your shoulder as the two of you walk back together. 

He had a little bit too much to drink… And despite your thoughts about him, even you didn’t have the heart to say no when he was practically hanging off of you – cheeks dusted pink with his mothlike lashes droopy, drunkenly mumbling while blinking up at you with those awfully bright eyes, asking you to take him home and tuck him in.

“Ugh...” You sigh.

It’s a struggle carrying the nearly two-meter-tall boy, almost having to drag him down the hallway before stopping short at your door. He’s drooling on your shoulder with murmurs of sleep as you search for the key – not exactly sober yourself.

When inside, his bigger body presses you against the closed door – his face buried in the grove of your neck with slurred words.

“Dude.” You state with a grimace – as if saying his name was too much of a burden – sighing as you haul him off with the same exasperation of a parent putting an unruly child to bed. 

Ducking beneath his arm, you leave him kissing the door – thinking to yourself how you really should put him to bed before he can embarrass himself any further.

You open your mouth to tell him when his temper finally makes him grab your arm a little harder than intended. 

“This isn't how this is supposed to go.” 

You flinch instinctively, and his grip tightens in return. “Hey?”

You can’t see his face with the way he’s got his head bowed. But you don’t like the snuff growl that passes under his breath as he utters the next words.

“Why are you so difficult?”

You do more than flinch this time, yanking yourself out of his harsh grip before he can apologize for it – taking on a deliberate offensive stance. 

With your feet squared and your hands up to keep him at a distance, you look ready to try fending him off.

Something about it seems premeditated – something in the wary way you eye him. You don’t even look all that surprised – as if you had suspected this side of him existed all along and had only been waiting for it to surface.

Oddly, t feels like something you’ve kept secret from him – as though you’ve acted comfortable all this time when, in reality, you’ve been clutching your mental pearls.

He realizes then why you haven’t returned his affection – why all you’ve ever given him is cold-hearted rejection…

Of course. It’s obvious now – so obvious it’s funny. Even though he’s been the one parading around like someone else, it feels as though you’ve been doing the exact same thing around him – hiding your discomfort behind a sweet smile – hiding it so well that not even his keen eyes have picked up on it…

But it’s clear now….

You’ve both been playing a game of pretend – just a pair of perfect strangers – who've now shared their hand. Leaving you both feeling naked – raw out in the cold – just waiting for the next move.

“I guess the gig is up, huh?” He rasps, fingers twitching at his sides – looking ready to pounce.

You couldn’t defend why you'd kept the pepper spray in the drawer of your nightstand – but you were glad you had. Rushing for it, hands shaking as you pulled the handle and grabbed the bottle – twisting around and spraying it right in the face of your roommate.

He cries out from the attack, clutching his face with both hands – staggering back with a series of gruff curse words.

Still, he guards the door – preventing your escape.

The groaning turns to croaks instead, and you think he might be crying. It’s tough to see through the hands covering his eyes – but when he looks back up again, despite the red burns left by your pepper spray on his puffy teary cheeks, he’s got a smile on his face. 

He’s not crying – he’s laughing – as the hand covering his face slowly drags down the crazed expression – over crazed eyes, bloodshot and wet, staring at you through the gaps between his fingers.

The look alone is enough to give you goosebumps.

But when you try to make a run for it, he grabs you again – and this time, you’re not able to shake him off. It feels as though the tight grip splinters your skin as he pulls you back – shoving you down against your bed.

“Can’t say it hasn’t been fun, roomie. But I’m not completely satisfied yet.”

He’s on top of you before you get a kick in – pinning your wrists above your head as he leans over you – bright eyes gleaming with that sickness you’d almost convinced yourself you’d been imagining. You opt to shout, but he’s soon got his other hand clasped tight over the bottom half of your face before you get a sound out.

“You were supposed to fall in love with me, you know?” His voice is airy as though he’s confessing – but also on the brink of laughter as though he’s telling a joke in class. “That’s how it goes in the movies.”

You swallow beneath his hand – eyes peeled, heart beating so hard it hurts.

His eyes wander – roaming your neck and chest. It’s awfully quiet before he speaks again. “But I suppose we can act out a different plot line...” 

You whimper at his suggestive tone – already feeling the weight of his intentions bearing down on you, crushing you free of air. 

“I like romcoms, but horror stories have their charm, too...”

You shudder beneath the warmth of his breath, screaming into his palm once his warm lips mouth your throat, sucking on the tender skin with tongue and teeth in between words.

“An unfortunate college student finds themself moving into the same dorm as their unhinged stalker…”

There’s a thrill in his tone – something crazed and terrifying as he goes on.

“The two play a psychological game of endurance, trying to balance college and privacy while sharing the same space...”

Something hard and gross steadily ruts against your thigh. His voice gets thicker – breath hotter on your neck. The kisses turn sloppy. Tears burn your cheeks.

“Everything seems to lead up to a party held before Spring break, a fateful night on which their endurance finally runs out.”

He groans, and you sob.

“A rejected kiss, a can of pepper spray, a shared bed. What happens next?”

JJK – Gojo, Yuta, Mahito

BNHA – Hawks, Denki, Kirishima

HQ – Miya twins

CSM – Yoshida

BLLK - Nagi

#yandere x reader #yandere #yandere x you #yandere imagines #yandere smut #yancore #smut #yandere my hero academia #yandere boku no hero academia #boku no hero academia smut #mha smut #yandere mha #yandere bnha #my hero smut #my hero academia smut #bnha smut #yandere jujutsu kaisen #yandere jjk #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk smut

[roturo]

-; ੈ♡˳ MINISKIRT

JJK MEN REACTING TO YOU TEASING THEM WITH A MINISKIRT! ★༉‧₊˚✧

(gojo satoru, geto suguru, choso kamo, nanami kento)

contents: smut, nsfw, sub behavior, PRAISE, miniskirts, unprotected sex, cunnilingus, whimpering, overstimulation, edging, jealousy, sub-space, fluff, possesive behavior, all of them being DOWN for you, and lovesick for you.

A/N: wrote this while watching the office and drunk so npr, and proabably took so long to write because of this.

gojo satoru

He knows what you’re trying. That’s why he doesn’t give in. And it’s much more difficult when that tiny miniskirt is the color of his eyes, matching perfectly with a top as small as your skirt of his hair color.

Bending over the table just so he could see the matching panties while you ‘try to have a closer look to what Nanami is showing you’ – And he doesn’t know what angers him more, the fact you’re doing this to annoy him and probably other people behind you are watching your panties which he’s trying to cover with his body, or the fact Nanami is more likely watching your tits through that tiny top you’re wearing right now. 

He pinches the back of your thigh, making you squeak and sit again as a reaction– looking to your side finding Satoru giving you a glare easily expressing ‘stop what you´re doing’ – and maybe that’s what makes you more eager to tease him now that you’re feeling the wetness coming out of you.

And you know he’s suffering right now. Not only because he’s jealous, but because you’re giving a small piece to someone else of what he supposed it was his.

“Nngh- please baby, i’m sorry- but I couldn’t stand him watching how precious you looked” His cries went to deaf ears as you rode him, edging him for the third? fourth? time. He had some ‘childish’ (that’s what you called it) outburst because he couldn’t stand you teasing him like that, and suddenly after pinching your thigh moved you towards his lap after you sat so you could feel his raging erection and broke Nanami’s chair with the cursed energy he couldn’t control coming out of his body. Something completely new for him.

“Please princess, it was just- You’re so beautiful I can’t let anyone to- I… I just can’t get enough of you.” He ghosted his lips with yours, trying to kiss them but you wouldn’t let him. You were close to another orgasm too, he was yearning for your touch, begging to whatever god stronger than him so you could give him permission to cum.

Who would’ve thought, huh? 

If Mahito, Sukuna or any of those fuckers watched him lose control to a girl they woulc’ve laughed at his face, but if they experienced how good it was to be inside of you, feeling your liquids coat him and his pelvis while they come out of you— even though you don’t let him cum, they would’ve understand. 

But he won’t let them get even 2 meters near you.

You started kissing his neck, marks that will be very prominent in just some hours, his whimpers bringing you to heaven even with how slow you rode him, just one thrust and he swears he could cum– overstimulation taking the best of him, you just pecked his lips one time and did as what he imagined and failed to keep it in.

“Aw baby, you ruined it! Why couldn’t you wait for me? Wanted to cum so badly? It’s okay, but cum again, okay? Be my good boy and make me cum again mhm?”

geto suguru

Are you doing this on purpose? Or you don't really notice? He swears people could see his raging erection from 10 meters afar, quirks of having a big cock, i guess.

And it’s so fucking embarrasing trying to hide it with the shopping bags you gave him to carry, not only he looked in an awkward position while walking, but the friction– and having you infront of him walking with that mini skirt, would make everyone crazy.

He swears he could just cum while walking and watching your hips move and tease him with your body. 

But you just were clueless. Getting excited to find the store you were looking for and do small jumps which had him rolling his eyes to conceal his need for you.

And he was getting needy. Spraying kisses all over your neck when he back-hugged you, he was making it obvious now! Rubbing himself on you, he needed it.

When you finally arrived home, he couldn’t stand it anymore, throwing away the bags somewhere in the kitchen carrying you– having to steady yourself by grabbing what you could from his back and not fall face into the floor while your legs were hanging on his front.

He carried you all the way into your bedroom and dropped you down softly on your bed while he plastered kisses all over your thighs mumbling about how much he missed being between your thighs and how you’ve been playing games with him this entire day.

You were suddenly overcome with excitement. Your clit throbbed and you desperately needed release. Your breath hitched in anticipation. All you could think about was letting Geto finally give you what you’ve been planning this whole day. 

“You’re so perfect. So perfect f´me– and all you been doin’ this day was tease me with that tiny skirt of yours baby- had to control myself to not go crazy over ya’”

At times like this, where Geto is kneeling right in front of you with his face buried in the middle of your legs, you are grateful that you lived alone. Because it means you don’t have to hold back your moans when Geto swipes his tongue on your clit. You don’t have to hold back as he roams his tongue around your entrance.  You know you genuinely lost it when he wrapped his lips around your bud, giving it a hard suckle that made your hips bucked. Out of instinct, your hand went to his hair. Gripping around the strand of it just to push his head closer to your cunt, letting the tip of his nose pressed against it. 

He inhaled, he fucking inhaled to let your scent filled his nose as if his tongue isn’t enough to make you feel stars.  Soon enough, you are on your knees, with your face buried on your pillow, tears pooling around your teardox as Geto has his mouth back to your pussy. His tongue moves in and out your hole to build up your orgasm. 

“What happened to my teasing girl mhm?”

choso kamo

Poor him. How did he end up in this situation? He swears all he did was give a small peek through your skirt because how couldn’t he?!

You were bending in front of him! And you’re even meaner because you know he has a crush for you since….ever. Kinda embarrassing to be honest. Because he acts like a kid having a crush, even worse, like when a little kid had a crush on their old brothers/sister friends… 

But. He won't lie he loves when you punish him like this. Because you praise him for being such dork for you. 

"It's okay, baby, you're doing so well for me right now," you lean down and place small kisses on his tear-stained cheeks, his red nose with his black mark and his eyelids eliciting a broken sob from him, "Think you can handle a little while longer, puppy?"

And he’s not thinking very clearly right now– Not when you’re pumping his cock in that tempo that has him seeing stars and crying out loud for you.

“yesyesyesy princess– oh my god- oh my fucking god… i´m sosososoooo lucky to be here with you baby, I love you soo much, i’m so, fuck, nngh!”

He was coming for a fifth? six? time right now. He swears he heard something about you telling him you won’t stop jacking him off until he cums dry. 

Choso looked at you, sniffing and wrapping his hand around yours, "But I want to fuck you now..." He mumbled barely audible to you, and you had to close your eyes and take a deep breath or you would've done what he told you to.

And he’s fucking excited for that. To fucking lose his mind and body to you. To dump all his cum wherever and whenever you wanted.

nanami kento

This little fucking pervert! He acts like this ‘oh so mature guy’ when he’s just as down for you as you are for him. He tried not to fall for you once he saw you for the first time in a mission both of you coincidentally crashed into. Being from another part of the world and suddenly connecting through these annoying curses.

But what annoyed him the most was how ‘inappropriate’ you are while working. Wearing those miniskirts of different colors for work. For work!

How is he supposed to focus? How is he supposed to train? Not when you’re moving your legs with that skirt that barely covers your butt and he easily sees the figure of it and your lips begging to be released to be tasted. By him. 

And you finally have him where you wanted, right between your legs. 

Your moans echo inside your bedroom, and maybe tomorrow you will have your neighbor file a noise complaint to you, but you didn’t mind. To have Kento’s attention only to you worth everything. 

At first, Kento wasn't the biggest fan of the size difference between you two, he felt almost too big compared to you.

Well, that was before he knew how good could fuck your needy cunt.

You were just barely holding onto his shoulders, leaving scratch marks that he would not even bother covering up, holding you with ease against the wall. "That's right, bunny, say my name and mark me, let everyone know I'm all yours, let them hear how good I fuck you," Kento whined and clung to you, feeling his cock pumping in and out of your small body, tilting his head forward to look down at the connection between your bodies.

The obvious outline of his length on your lower belly made him roll his eyes to the back of his head, your trembling legs wrapping around his hips, keeping his cock buried deep inside your pulsing pussy, feeling it wanting to milk every drop of his cum.

"Fuck me, more... I need more of your cock kento, please~!"

#gojo satoru smut #geto suguru smut #choso kamo smut #nanami kento smut #gojo smut #geto smut #choso smut #nanami smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk smut #gojo satoru #geto suguru #nanami kento #choso kamo #gojo satoru x reader #geto suguru x reader #nanami kento x reader #choso kamo x reader #satoru gojo #suguru geto #kento nanami #kamo choso #gojo x reader #geto x reader #choso x reader #nanami x reader #romy's writings