#he's trying to assert his humanity is still there even if it's different just as he initially did with marvel

[vickyvicarious]

I had to tear down wrappings and ransack a number of boxes and drawers, but at last I managed to turn out what I sought; the box label called them lambswool pants, and lambswool vests. Then socks, a thick comforter, and then I went to the clothing place and got trousers, a lounge jacket, an overcoat and a slouch hat—a clerical sort of hat with the brim turned down. I began to feel a human being again, and my next thought was food.

I know this is like, a fairly common expression, but still... there's something to be said for the way Griffin doesn't feel human again till he is dressed.

His initial feeling of being a seeing man in a world of the blind, during his his invisible flight from his rooms, lasted only a few minutes. And then first he was struggling in the crowd, before he fairly quickly became prey on the run. The rest of his experience before he took shelter in the mall is pretty nightmarish.

He spends such a good chunk of the book described only as a stranger, and in a way that clearly reflects the testimonies of those who resented and didn't respect him. But also, for all that he is paranoid about being seen (being unseen) by them, he doesn't want to be identified or to socialize at all, so he never gives them a name. Mr. Marvel, of course, never knows him by any name either - he's the first person who (doesn't) see him for what he is right from the start of their acquaintance, and to him Griffin is only ever "the Voice" or "the Invisible Man."

We don't learn his name at all until chapter 17, when he identifies himself to Kemp. And even then, even after a whole back-and-forth repeating his name, he's still called either "the Voice" or "the Invisible Man", once "the Unseen", throughout the rest of that chapter. In chapter 18, he's described by name just once, when his reply to a final question of what else Kemp can get him indicates a surprising vulnerability/desire for comfort: "“Only bid me good-night,” said Griffin." Again, in chapter 19, Griffin is back to initially being only "the Invisible Man" when he's having his fit of temper. He gets his name back when sits down to eat and when he and Kemp are conversing about science. But when he begins describing his money trouble and how he robbed his father, he becomes "the Invisible Man" again at the close of the chapter. In chapter 20, it's mostly Griffin's story, but there's a little switch at the start of the chapter. Kemp takes "the Invisible Man's arm" to bring him away from the window when he's worried he'll see police approaching, and then puts himself "between Griffin and the nearest window" - when he feels more sure he's managing the situation, Griffin gets his name back. Again, at the end of chapter 21, he's back to his title while we see Kemp glancing out the window nervously and clearly distracted... his thoughts more on the help he sent for than on the story being confided to him.

With Kemp, the only person who knows his name, there is a clear pattern to call him by some title when he is afraid of his violence. At least so far. His name is only ever used when he is being more 'civilized'. Not even just whenever he is being open and vulnerable, because he does that a surprising amount throughout his story, but as Kemp's mind wanders, Griffin goes back to being titled once more.

When he's naked and totally invisible, Griffin himself feels like something outside of humanity. And while briefly freeing, this soon became a horrible feeling, something othering and scary. It's why his first instinct is to get clothes, before he even thinks about food. It's why he tries so hard to escape in the clothes he's stolen, before he's finally forced to abandon them. Sure, there's the practical reasons of not wanting to get sick and cold, and so on, but that's not the main drive. Except then he has to give that up in order to get away safely. And even when he does acquire clothes and money and his research and gets away somewhere safer (where the story begins), it's never enough. He's always othered to various degrees, which in general just keep increasing over time. By the time he gets to Kemp, his first request is no longer for clothes - something which again could just be put down to practicalities (he hasn't eaten in much longer this time, he's more used to running about naked and the weather is better) but also showcases much more of a willingness to leave them behind at the first sign of danger, in order to free himself to fight or flee. More certainty that he will need to. And he's right about that - after all, wearing clothes may make Griffin feel more human, but it's not the determining factor for Kemp here.

#the invisible mail #griffin #my meta #idk i'm not saying it well but. all the themes of being othered and dehumanized #and his reaction over time being to more and more act in ways that make the fear worse #except here with kemp. he's really pouring his heart out but it's mostly just not getting through at all #and griffin's hatred of vulnerability paired with how vulnerable he knows he is like this and #there's lots #just. a lot #and like. griffin introduced himself to kemp first as an invisible man. yes. #he's trying to assert his humanity is still there even if it's different just as he initially did with marvel #but it only sticks so much. because even if he's no ghost he's still not fully *human* to them. the Invisible Man is not just another Man #he's a threat

[fraugwinska]

I tried my hands on an Human!Alastor fic ;> It's still very different to write for Human Al, but I hope y'all like it ;> Special thanks to @hurthermore for beta-reading and encouraging me <3 This one's for you, love! !! NSFW - Heavy Smut Ahead, Minors DNI - 6k words !!

„You need technical assistance, sir?“

Alastor looked up from the papers on his desk, adjusting his glasses that slipped down the bridge of his nose. He didn't expect her to come in this late, or at all, not while he was still at the station. The curious little sound engineer that had started half a year ago was standing at his office entrance, hands in the pockets of her outrageous trousers. She was tiny, her small figure barely filled the door frame, even with her bulky tool bag that hung from her shoulders. Alastor leaned back in his seat, folding his hands, focusing his tired gaze on her defensive expression.

She was a novelty, that one. Not the first woman working at the station of course, but the first to assert herself in the male-dominated field of technical engineering. Her male colleagues saw the spunky, brass girl as a joke, either ignoring her or trying (very amateurishly) to bed her – both which didn't faze her at all meeting both scenarios with the same contemptuous indifference. The women – secretaries, errand girls and concierges – were much more organized and refined in their bullying. Shortly after her arrival rumors had already spread, one more abstruse than the other, and they had collectively decided to pretend the engineer didn't exist in their periphery. More than once he witnessed her talking to his own secretary Ruth, just to be left standing while Ruth got up and walked out with the other girls to lunch in the middle of her sentence.

The little engineer took it all in stride, though. Never complained, never became outright disrespect- or revengeful. Gradually, her expressions steeled, her answers shortened and her work hours shifted to evenings or nights, with less people to run into.

Alastor had been fascinated by her the moment they first met. He had just started his usual 'Saturday Golden Hour', his favorite and most popular segment to host, broadcasting the newest releases of jazz and swing in the evening, just before sundown. Not even ten minutes in, right after he started playing Bing Crosby's new song 'Dancing in the Dark', listeners started calling the station by the handful, complaining about horrific feedback's and sudden blackouts. While Alastor watched Rufus Ellis, the head of the tech team, frantically run around, yelling at his workers, the little engineer had wordlessly grabbed a few tools and vanished. Five minutes later, his broadcast went back to working perfectly, sound crisp and quality flawless once again. She had returned, put back the tools from where she had taken them, and when Ellis – flabbergasted – asked her what she had done, she had calmly explained that she went up on the roof to check the transmitters connected to the radio tower and fixed a broken generator that had malfunctioned due to some doves nesting in it.

No one thanked or even acknowledged her, they just shrugged and went back to business as usual. But Alastor didn't forget, and from this day he was determined to find out more about this extraordinary girl. She reminded him of his own struggle as the exception to the rule – it was a well-kept secret throughout the station exactly what Alastor looked like and who he was. That was the only reason he was able to do what he felt was born to, a cruel, unfair compromise. So, he felt an unusual sympathy for her, in addition to just his natural curiosity for oddities. However, he didn't expect her to be so elusive.

Whenever he tried to engage her in a conversation, she gave short, finite responses, avoided his eyes and hurried to get away from him, sometimes even bordering on rudeness in her haste to flee from him. Alastor was, to be frank, perplexed - his charm usually drew in the ladies unwantedly. That it had failed him now, with the little engineer, when he welcomed it for a change? Peculiar. To a degree, it angered him, but it also awakened his hunting instinct, just not the one he was used to.

“I'm afraid so, dear.”, Alastor smiled, standing up. He rounded his desk, hands behind his back, and went to her side, looking down a t her. Granted, he was a tall man, but next to her, he felt almost gigantic, which satisfied him in a strange way. “I noticed my microphone was acting up today, and would like you to take a look at it, if you don't mind. Before it decides to give up on me mid-broadcast.”

“That's my job, sir.”, she just answered, eyes intensely staring at the carpet. Alastor's eyebrow twitched in slight aggravation. But he lead her to his booth, unlocking it to let her in. She went straight to his seat, dropping her tool bag next to it and started to pull his microphone to her to inspect it. He quietly closed the door, locking it discreetly – just as a precaution so she couldn't flee him again so easily, now that he finally had her in his vicinity.

Alastor walked over to her, leaning over her shoulder to watch her carefully taking the device apart. She startled when she saw him out of the corner of her eyes. “It may take a while, sir.”, she mumbled, an obvious attempt to make him leave. Alastor laughed. “I've got nowhere to be, dear, take your time.”, he said with a hint of mischievous delight. He heard her scoff, turning back to her work. There was a prolonged silence, her fiercely ignoring Alastor's quiet, content humming while her fingers picked apart and put together parts and cables. He used the time to analyze her appearance – her hair was smooth but more unkempt than for a girl her age – how old must she be? Twenty, maybe Twenty-one? Vanity surely wasn't a flaw of hers, she didn't wear much make-up and Alastor saw various faint, light scars on her arms and hands, little bookmarks of mishaps and failures of her chosen career – the sight of them sent a sick shiver down his spine. Given his... hobbies, he found twisted appeal in scarred skin, finding beauty in those white, shimmering lines where blood once dripped from. He roamed her supple, curved body – unlike the recent fad of skinny, androgynous frames she was built womanly, round and fleshy... how beautiful could he paint her with white streaks on this vast canvas, add some masterpieces of his own to the collection?

“Alright.”, she pulled him out of his thoughts, mounting the microphone back on it's flexible stand. “A few cables were starting to corrode, I've replaced them, it should work fine now.” Alastor grinned down at her, putting one of his hands on her shoulder. The first real contact. “What an efficient engineer you are, dear. Always coming to my rescue, I have yet to show my gratitude.” She didn't look up, didn't even acknowledge that he said something to her, just packing up the various things she had spread out for the repair. Now that was just rude.

“Hello? Is this thing on?”, Alastor strained himself to sound lighthearted as he knocked two times on her head, feeling the shivers of impatience rising. The engineer closed her eyes and took a deep breath in, shifting in his chair with furrowed brows. “I'm getting paid to do my job. I don't need anything else.” She attempted to stand up, but his hand, still resting on her shoulder, holds her in place. “If that's all, sir?”

“Now now, not to hasty. I'd think it's unlike you to leave work halfway done. Normally you are quite thorough, aren't you?” Alastor cooed, tilting his head at her. “My work is done.” she said, her voice now intense and a faint tint of red on her cheek and neck. My, there's the little ferocity he thought she'd lost at the job. “Why we haven't tested the thing, dear – How can I be sure it works properly?”

“Because I know what I'm doing.” She looked outright offended at the implied possibility that she failed the task he asked of her. He had to chuckle, such a childish reaction to something so innocent. Maybe it was because implications like these grated her thick skin, but Alastor had no problem with being the straw that breaks that camel's back. He was skilled in putting people back in their place, and with her, it would be much more entertaining and much less fatal than with his other... acquaintances. He decided to tickle this sleeping dragon just a bit more, with a funny little idea in mind.

“No one is infallible – especially when they are so young. No fault in that, dear, but I'd like to be sure.” Alastor swiftly grabbed her wrist, pulling her up to stand. Putting up no resistance, most likely because of sheer perplexity, he twirled her almost like in a dance, side-stepping to his chair, and sat down, pulling her onto his lap, locking her there by an arm wrapped around her waist. The look on her face was worth it's weight in gold – eyes wide, mouth agape in stunned shock, and tips of the ears reddened. Her hands grappled the armrests so forcefully her knuckles were as white as the scars on her arms, and within seconds of regaining her active conscience she squirmed against his body. “What... that's so... sir, please let me g...” “There you go, dear.”, Alastor ignored her babbling, using his free hand to put the headphones on her. Her pulse under her thin, clear skin drummed faster against him, it's heat felt like it could boil his own blood.

He grabbed his own microphone, swinging it up between their faces and leaned forward, chin resting on her shoulder and the grille brushing his lower lip. She stared, dumbstruck, a bead of sweat forming on her forehead. He chuckled against her cheek, leaning his mouth to the mic as he pushed the switch on the control panel up, and his rich, sultry baritone echoed in her headphones.

"How about it, darling, do you hear me?"

She breathed deeply, gulping, and her heart sped up even more. Alastor smiled devilishly against her soft skin, delighted and in awe by how far he got her worked up as she just nodded sharply.

"No soundrops, feedback or small interferences?", he hummed, his voice dripping sweet honey. She took a moment to answer. "N-no... everything seems alright."

"Lovely." He almost whispered, but she heard it crystal clear through the headphones. He let a low sigh and took off his glasses with one hand, slowly, teasingly, his nose tracing over her neck, as if it was coincidental, as if he'd never ever do such a thing intentionally, putting the accessory on the table next to him, eyes locking on the hazel ones of hers mirrored in them. "Although I wonder..." He pushed the mic nearer to her mouth, seeing a tremble running over her body. "... if the higher pitches might be a problem... You wouldn't mind help with that, would you?"

She stiffened up, barely daring to breathe, her skin erupting into goose flesh underneath his lips, he felt the impulse to press them against her, lick the salt and nervousness from it.

"Sir, I-I can't.."

He chuckled at her strained, whispering voice. How beautiful was her distress, so rich, so fragrant, almost strong enough for him to savor its essence without even needing to touch her.

"Then, may I assist you?", Alastor felt himself giddy with impish delight, his hands slowly trailing upwards from her waist to her bust, cupping her gently through the thin fabric. This made her wriggle again, a small, high pitched squeak leaving her lips that his microphone just amplified in glorious reverberations. Alastor chuckled darkly as she froze, neck burning red in deep embarrassment from the sound she heard from the headphones.

"Now we're talking. A wonderful first try. But let's see what else we can get out of you, darling. After all, we want to be thorough."

His hands palmed and kneaded the supple flesh through the cotton, feeling her squirm and tremble and the warmth of her bosom, imagining the blood rushing through her heart. How exquisite was she?

He could hear a small whimper as her head slightly lowered. Was she closing her eyes? He imagined it so. Imagined she'd shut her pretty eyes closed, furrow her brows in conflict as her legs pressed against each other in fruitless desperation. Her hands tightened on the armrest.

"You are so very quiet, dear. Why don't you relax and turn the volume up for me?"

With one of his hands he quickly loosened the two buttons that kept her blouse close and tugged at the collar to widen the neck hole, then slid under her brassier and gripped one breast with a tight squeeze. Alastor caught his breath as he realized just how sensitive and sweet the freckled skin under his fingertips was. Soft. Warm. So fragile... He would never have imagined this was hiding under her daily uniform, her sagging shoulders and loose jacket hiding those lovely features. Alastor felt a delightful spark crackle in his head and shoot up the nerves of his spine. His hunting instinct pulsed under the mask. But... with a slight delay, Alastor recognized it as a different type of hunger... one of the carnal and more depraved kind. Another novelty for him.

Alastor suddenly wondered what her lips tasted like, how soft and warm would they feel on his, her teeth biting, her tongue teasing him. How many ways could he break her - and could he do it quickly, with his bare hands, with his words alone maybe, or with his undisciplined arousal pushing against her rear-end through the fabric of his trousers? How often did she think of him? How did she think of him? Did she fear him, or dislike him even? He could hear her breathing hasten as he was trying to compose himself.

There was the devil's urge to just let himself go. To shove the equipment aside and tear those outrageously inadequate clothes away from her flesh, run his hands over the skin he didn't get to see yet, trace and map those scars of hers until they fade underneath his fingers. Mark her more thoroughly than any machine mishap ever could. Make her cry, moan, beg and whine under him until there was nothing left in her and this novel hunger was satisfied.

A wonderfully loud moan escaped her, a sweet, silky, vibrato sound of passion, that went right from Alastor's chest into his pelvis. She opened her eyes wide, pressing her hand firmly over her mouth, mortified at her own pleasure.

Oh, Alastor thought to himself, smiling mischievously as the shock of lustful rapture coursed through him, how easy it was for him to undo her. So unexplored, so fresh... "Do you wish to stop, darling?", he asked with a teasing pinch of her hardened nipple, which made her cry out and her other hand fly up and cover her mouth, too. She shook her head, her cheeks flushed and hot, eyes hazed with confused pleasure. He rubbed and teased the nipple gently in his palm, holding her close, making her struggle in defiant silence. The only sound was his gentle, patient humming.

But oh, she was breaking, crumbling like a stale beignet, and the noises his hand bullied out of her turned from hushed whimpers to barely muffled groans and cries for him, long and wanting 'Sir's and 'Oh's. She was melting under his palm. He grinned wickedly, his lower body hard and wanting against her as he put the microphone to his own lips again and spoke into it.

"Say it with your words, dear, should I stop? Or is it that you can't hear me?"

"Y-yes! I mean... No sir... d-don't... stop." There was a suppressed crack in her voice, and Alastor sighed with lust at her gasping affirmation, grinding against her plushy backside. He has found it amusing to push her limits, break through her thick skin and riddle her, like an ice pick cracking open a glacier. And now it would shatter her so gorgeously. "It's Alastor, darling." He whispered into the microphone with a dragging, sultry voice, his hand retreating from her breast, only to snake it's way to the hem of her pants. Her legs twitched, pushing together to futilely protect her modesty, but her body eagerly arched in a way that gave such easy way for his fingers to slip under the garments, feel and stroke the short, coarse hair, following it's trail, only to meet soft, silken and slippery wetness. A startled gasp escaped her and the only reason she didn't leap up was because Alastor kept his firm grip on her waist, pulling her tight against his throbbing erection. Her head fell back onto his shoulder, exposing her delicate throat as she whimpered, hands flying from her mouth to the armrests again, gripping so hard her fingernails dug into the hard wooden surface.

He tried to restrain himself but couldn't, he testily bit into the thin, soft flesh of her neck as his fingers found their way into her entrance and dipped deep in, coating his palm in generous wetness and crooking, exploring carefully, but with a patience even he was surprised at, eyes fixated on the taut fabric as he thrust into her in tandem with the waves her body undulated at the new sensation, her sweet taste on his tongue.

"S-Sir, please...", she groaned against his hand that still remained pressed over her lips, as if it could suppress the bliss Alastor wrought her into. He withdrew his hand for a moment, fingers wet, glistening and slick, as she was breathless, but she couldn't hide how her hips were chasing his retreating touch. He leaned into the microphone, barely lifting his mouth from her neck.

"Say my name, and I shall listen, little engineer."

She hesitated for just a heartbeat, before opening her eyes, hazily staring at the ceiling as Alastor patiently waited, his fingers drawing idle circles around the sweet pearl on her outer folds. She pressed her lips together for a second, seemingly mentally preparing herself, and then opened her mouth, to give in, to submit to him.

"...A-Alastor, please..."

"I like the sound of my name from your lips, darling." He almost purred in return and resumed his movements with added vigor and focus. He put down his head on her shoulder, nuzzling into the juncture of her throat, watching her reaction and every detail of how his hand worked her over with the rhythmic hump of his hips, forcing him to breathe harshly as he was starting to be deprived of blood. He had barely noticed it, how incredibly erotic and sinful this whole thing felt not just for her, but for him, too. Partly of course, because of the chase, the coaxing, the hunt to have her call and writhe for only him, not for any of these imbeciles that tried to get their pick with her, his ears pricked and eager to savor her wanton sounds... A surprising need to be connected, closer to her than anyone ever could be in her whole life, and it made him even giddy to know no man had touched her like he was doing now, taking her purity with ease and glee.

But there was another part, something he thought slumbered too deep within him to be ever awoken, a roaring fire in his guts as the alluring, delicious scent of her arousal assaulted him like a siren's song, lulling, cajoling him with sensual desires to drown in them, to abandon all else and indulge, to completely give in and surrender. It wasn't tactical, calculating or strategic, but wild and primal and primitive, and not at all as painful or awkward to him as he had always thought it'd be.

What a revelation a woman's body could be.

He almost missed her coming into his eagerly working hand - a sudden, full-body twitch that went through her spine, a whine in her voice that ended in a choked sound as her orgasm claimed her and washed her away in the torrent of rapture - eyes going wide as the air escaped her in a desperate cry, hands gripping his thigh and the chair's armrest so hard the nails left little scratches in the wood. He barely had time to notice it before her climax hit him like a truck - the convulsing of her inner walls, gripping and spasming tightly around his fingers as he slowed and stroke out her high.

This moment was pure madness in his veins - his head foggy and airy, like a drug, like a vicious new addiction he would do almost anything for. Her body went slack against him, and the only thing that held her upright was Alastor's arm still securely around her, still keeping her pressed onto his hard length, still pulsing for some release of his own. Alastor wanted more, already was plotting what his hands could be doing to her body next as she came down from her high and back to earth, the heat leaving her body slowly as the soundproofed air trapped within the booth hung heavy with her hot breath and the smell of her passion.

The first movement of hers, after having come undone so beautifully for and on him, was to lift up the headphones.

"Well then, little engineer.", he huffed into her ear, laughing with barely hidden delight. "What is your final assessment?"

"Your microphone works perfectly. J-just like I said it would." She was determined, if nothing else. And unbearably cute when she was defiant. Alastor simply adored a fiery spirit, even as he was already thirsting for more. He looked up, her sharp tone prickling his pride. He shot her a glare from the corner of his eyes, his usually calm smile tugging upward in a half smirk as she avoided his eyes. Oh, was she starting to have second thoughts about her tone towards him?

"I always admired your work ethics and knowledge, my dear, even though you eluded my attempts to give you your well-deserved recognition." The hand not occupied in playing with her still moist, delicate flesh lifted the arm that she had still buried in his thigh, brushing his fingers lightly over her knuckles as he brought it to his lips. She went still as a stone under his fingertips. "I asked myself, what would be the reason you ignored and evaded me for so long? Do you dislike me that much, little engineering girl?"

"No." It took her a moment, a little quiver in her voice, but it seemed like this was the first time in a long while that her answer was as blunt and truthful. He sighed contentedly, planting a soft kiss on her hand. "Quite the contrary, in fact."

His eyes snapped to her, narrowed. She still refused to look at him, still tense and obviously embarrassed, her free hand trembling on her lap. So it hadn't been animosity that made her behave so coldly towards him, not aversion that made her flee his presence and not prejudice that made her avoid their encounters but...

"Ah." Alastor chuckled softly at her awkward behavior, grinning delightedly at the revelation. "Of course."

Shyness was a curious thing, he thought, often misinterpreted as either prude modesty or cold antipathy. And it seemed Alastor had fallen for the latter interpretation - he would've been miffed at the thought if it hadn't brought her here, into his lap, and into his hands - alas, better late than never, he guessed. And there was still something to take care of.

"Well, since you're not running from me now..." His hand left hers and joined his other one in pulling the belt of her pants open, gently tugging on the metal buckle until the strap slipped free. "Let me finally show my gratitude in kind, for the lovely engineer and her marvelous work."

He loosened his tight grip on her, enough so that he could turn her to face him - for once, she glanced at him from under her lashes, not only out of bashfulness now - but he thought he saw something like cautious anticipation there, too. His grin became even wider as she kept his gaze, even if barely. A last stubborn act of shy rebellion - in another situation it would have enraged Alastor, but now, he was delightfully fascinated and challenged by her stubborn nature, by the unpredictability of her reactions even now, as she herself hooked her fingers under the hem of her pants and pushed them down over her shapely hips.

The last barrier of decency fell between them, revealing the full picture before him - there was her reddened face framed by cascading locks, eyes lowered in embarrassed defeat; Her stiffened nipples prominent on her perky, tight breasts; The damp patch of dark pubic hair that barely hid her glistening privates and the plush roundness of her thighs. And the whole body covered in tiny, white streaks, healed cuts and burns scattered in between her freckles. Oh, she would be delightful to ruin over and over again.

He took a step towards her, his hands immediately moving to her hip, exploring, caressing the soft flesh. This time, she did not move away from his touch and watched him with big, wide-blown eyes, full of expectation and a new type of uncertainty as he lifted her up onto the main control panel. He discarded of his jacket, the cloth too heavy and hot for him now, and threw it aside carelessly, leaving his bow tie hanging loosely around his neck as he went back to the woman, his little prey. Her knees parted slightly when his body wedged between them, an inviting gesture from her, though Alastor suspected she herself didn't notice. He grinned darkly, lifting her chin up by a finger, before bending over and planting a firm but restrained kiss on her lips, feeling his own skin crawl in electric stimulation, eager to finally taste her. His hands made quick work of his slacks, freeing his almost painfully erect member with a pleased sigh. From the way she gasped and her eyes widened, he could easily deduct that she had less to no experience whatsoever.

Oh, what a fortune. Alastor relished the thought of claiming precious, well kept treasures, his breath quickened as he broke from the kiss, hands running over her heated skin in swift, soothing motions, goosebumps trailing in their wake as he felt her shudder with hesitant desire beneath him. Oh, this would be fun.

"Let's be sure you'll hear my message loud and clear, this time, hm?"

He took her mouth again before she could protest, discreetly angling the microphone down with one hand just near enough where she would soon enough be connected to him. With a sly grin, he lined himself up to her waiting entrance and slowly pushed in. She stiffened at the unfamiliar invasion, a mewl muffled against his lips and hands in his shirt, and he stilled, enjoying the way her body reflexively tightened and squeezed around him as she tried to cope with the sensation of him stretching her.

She gasped as her chest heaved from the feeling, her walls convulsing around him like a vice. He allowed a low groan to escape him, she felt so gloriously tight and hot he had trouble keeping his composure, hands twitching to rut into her and just plow through.

"Ready for the final test, darling?"

"T-test...?"

He didn't bother to give her an answer as he started to move. In and out, with slow and drawn out movements, keeping his thrusts shallow at first, deep and precise enough to press against her innermost point and making her moan helplessly. The wet sounds of their coupling reached his ears, coupled with her wanton cries, an obscene and enchanting noise he was waiting for. With a mischievous smile, he picked up the headphones from where she had put them down, lifting it to one of her ears. Her face flushed in such lovely shades of red when the squelching echoes of what the mic picked up reached her ears, amplified and oh-so-clear thanks to her own handiwork.

He let out a guttural chuckle as he leaned into her, still thrusting slowly, her head falling on his shoulder and hanging onto his shirt for dear life, knuckles white as she could hear all the sweet sounds their bodies made and how they connected, each inch of her body singing praises for only him, for his size and rhythm. He could tell the moment her walls began to relax around him, squeezing the blood into his member as she took him in again and again, accepting it's size wholeheartedly with greedy eagerness.

"Such a talented woman.", he praised into her free ear, sighing at the delicious way her slick, swollen lips slid over his length, her thighs twitching against his with every single thrust and every word that fell from his lips. "Just listen to the fruits of your impeccable labor, dearest. Almost wasted in a place like this."

A moan, shaky and delirious, a shuddering sob for him, so high and flustered she sounded almost pained escaped her throat. She pressed against him and with a jolt that reverberated through her spine, convulsing so sweetly against him he almost came from the tremor that rushed through his cock. But it wasn't her peak. Alastor hadn't gotten his fill yet and he wouldn't stop now until it was both of their turns, but damn if he wasn't tempted.

He reached to the other ear to put the second headphone on her. Now her world had no escape, she could only listen, only hear every filthy wet noise of his slick slide, his ragged breathing and the beat of her own heart- a heavy, cacophonous staccato.

Her eyes were heavy-lidded, head clouded and flushed, looking up at him with rapt fascination. His own gaze met hers as his pace increased, suddenly snapping his hips with harsh precision, and his voice was low, carnal.

"But their loss is my gain, darling. Don't you ever forget that, now."

And his thoughts went to of those incompetent, thickheaded dunderheads who took their jobs, but were no where as skilled or invested as her, knowing full well they were inadequate and undeserving to get close to her, trying to touch what clearly should have been for him alone to do, and it sent a nasty spark of possessiveness through Alastor, igniting a furious hunger, a beast waking up within him and snarling with unbridled desire, to claim, to mark her as his. And nobody else's.

He grinned devilishly, a low rumble in his throat as a needy whine escaped his little engineer and he grabbed her waist tightly, digging his fingers into the fat there as he picked up speed and drilled into her with more intensity, savage, merciless and utterly ruthless, finally throwing all composure and rationality overboard to replace it with feral instinct and possessive desire. Her hands clutched him desperately, thighs tensing and pressing against his moving hips, her choked cries of his name were nothing else but heavenly and he was filled with lecherous obsession and greed - yes, he could get addicted to the sound of his name being screamed and moaned from her lips, her sweet, wet flesh fluttering around his throbbing length, the violent stuttering of her breath that just enticed and pleaded him to continue.

"Mine. My own, little, eager engineer." he hissed against the shell of her ear, headphones slipping from her, hips still pounding away at her heat with feverish pace and an undeniable pleasure coiling low and tightly within his pelvis. With every harsh thrust, every desperate, salacious cry, he pulled her deeper and deeper into sinful depravity, her head thrown back in bliss, the headphones slipping from her head as her nails scraped desperately over his clothed chest. The sharp bites of pain mixed with a sweet ache and tightening within Alastor, telltale signs of his climax nearing rapidly. "No more avoiding me, no more elusion or flight for you, understood? You are mine and mine alone."

Her toes curled as his words spurred her over the edge with him, her core spasming and quivering around him as her moans became ragged and desperate, jaw agape in rapture but no words found as she toppled into her orgasm, dragging and taking Alastor with her. The immense wave crashed into him and swept him along, and he growled in the sensational and exhilarating feeling and his head fell against her shoulder, with a growl ripping from his throat, low and guttural. His seed emptied in her with long, forceful spurts, her body tensing and relaxing as each twitch and jerk pushed his release deeper and deeper, the pleasure so acute, so sharp it was almost painful, until both their highs subsided and Alastor had to rest against her for a moment, their labored breaths the only noise that reached his ears.

Alastor sighed contentedly, his hand loosened it's grip and his fingertips gently traced over the angry, red lines they had left behind on her tanned skin of her waist, feeling her shivering underneath him. His lips pressed into the soft crook of her neck, placing a tender kiss on the flushed skin. He would have to do something about the bruising and marks... His eyes wandered up and he noticed that she was staring now, hazily and exhausted, her pupils still wide, lips bitten swollen and reddened, her cheeks and chest still painted pink with lingering arousal. The sight was so deliciously debauched and lewd, a smirk crept on his face.

"It seems that the equipment is indeed in perfect working order again, thanks to you, darling."

"...Yes, sir." she replied warily, her voice still breathless. Her usual demeanor returned, too embarrassed to look him in the eyes she tilted her head away from him. He chuckled, lifting her chin and capturing her lips once again, not much for hers but more for his own gain, and then moved off and out of her. He took a moment to savor the view - the red, swollen flesh, leaking his essence that pooled on the metal surface of his control panel he would work on in a few hours, and her thighs glistening in the faint orange light of the booth.

"Please, darling, from now on..." Alastor took a handkerchief from his breast pocket, wiping the mess of his hands and cleaning her with careful gentleness, her legs twitching weakly at the contact.

"...call me Alastor."

He hummed quietly and lifted her from the console, closing the buttons on her blouse again with fastidious efficiency after she slipped back into her pants. Then, with a few quick motions, Alastor picked up his jacket and fixed his own appearance, before helping her stand properly on her trembling feet.

"I trust we won't have any misunderstandings anymore?" He smiled at her, tilting his head slightly, a soft and yet challenging smile, his hand cupping her face and the thumb brushing her lower lip. Her cheeks grew warmer and redder again, her eyes flickering downwards, then back up, before she nodded silently. "Excellent."

Alastor put the headphones back on their rack, before taking his glasses, slipping them back on and reaching for the door handle, his other hand extended towards his little engineer in an inviting motion.

"Come along, my dear. Let me treat you to a nice cup of coffee, I find there's nothing better after a job well done."

She paused, her face going a shade darker and her lips pressing together. Then, after a heartbeat, she stepped next to him and through the door he opened for her. He could see the small smile that crept onto her lips as she hurriedly passed him, a shy glance shot towards him, but this time it didn't feel like she wasn't fleeing, but almost daring for him to chase her.

Another kind of hunt, he mused, and the thought made him smile as he closed the door and followed her out.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #alastor x reader #alastor #hazbin hotel fanfiction #fraugwinskawrites #Human!Alastor x Reader #Alastor smut #Human!Alastor smut

[highpriestessarchives]

A Philosophy Behind Writer's Block: Valuing Despair

Unfortunately, it happened again where I went a little over a month without writing anything I was happy with. I would attempt to get some words down, remembering that even a little bit is progress; but, no matter what I did, everything just felt so dry and dull. Not only that, my stories felt like they were boring or just not worth it anymore. It was awful.

I tried everything that normally helped with getting over writer’s block. I’d try out different times to write, read other books for inspiration, focus on another hobby—still, it all felt like I was banging on a brick wall. That’s when I turned to my philosophy studies, as if there was some sort of deeper consciousness of an answer that would aid my issues.

Well, there was. The infamous Kierkegaardian Despair.

The Sickness unto Death

The Sickness unto Death is a book written by Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard in 1849 under the pseudonym Anti-Climacus. A work of Christian existentialism, the book is about Kierkegaard’s concept of despair, which he equates with the Christian concept of sin, which he terms “the sin of despair.”

In Kierkegaard's work, despair arises from a fundamental disconnection from one’s true self and from God. He distinguishes between different forms of despair, including the despair of having a self and the despair of not wanting to be oneself.

Now, take what you will from the Christian existentialism part (I’m pagan, so I already had mixed opinions on many classic texts on God), but it doesn’t erase how the concept of despair can shed light on the underlying struggles that writers—at least, myself—may face.

It’s Never Just a Phase

Writer’s block can be seen as a manifestation of existential despair in which we feel disconnected from our creative essence or authentic self. This disconnection may stem from various sources, such as self-doubt, fear of failure, or a sense of alienation from one’s creative impulses. We may experience a profound sense of emptiness or meaninglessness, unable to access the inspiration and clarity needed to write.

Moreover, Kierkegaard’s notion of despair as a failure to align with one’s true self suggests that writer’s block may arise when our creative endeavors are driven by external motives or expectations rather than genuine inner inspiration. The pressure to produce work that meets societal standards or fulfills commercial demands can lead to a sense of existential disorientation and paralysis.

Don’t Just Overcome it. Value it.

If you resonate with Kierkegaard’s work, you will agree with his observation that we are always going to despair over something. It’s not about waiting for the tide to roll over or for the dry spell to ease up, but to examine our own self’s relation to what we are lamenting over. He writes:

“Despair is an aspect of the spirit, it has to do with the eternal in a person. But the eternal is something he cannot be rid of, not in all eternity… If there were nothing eternal in a man, he would simply be unable to despair… Having a self, being a self, is the greatest, the infinite, concession that has been made to man, but also eternity’s claim on him.”

Let’s break down the quote and explore how it can inform our approach to overcoming writer’s block:

Despair as an Aspect of the Spirit: Kierkegaard suggests that despair is not merely a psychological state but an aspect of the spirit, rooted in the eternal dimension of human existence. Kierkegaard’s conception of despair invites us to recognize the creative process as a site of existential tension and struggle.

Writer’s block is not merely a technical or practical obstacle to be overcome but a profound existential challenge that confronts us with the limitations of our finite selves and the aspirations of their creative spirit.

The Eternal in a Person: Kierkegaard asserts that despair is linked to the eternal within individuals, suggesting that it arises from a tension between the finite and the infinite aspects of human nature. The finite aspects encompass the temporal, material, and contingent dimensions of life, while the infinite aspects involve the eternal, transcendent, and spiritual dimensions. This tension is inherent in human consciousness and manifests in various forms of despair, such as the despair of weakness, the despair of defiance, and the despair of not willing to be oneself.

This tension between the finite and the infinite can be understood as the conflict between the limitations of our creative faculties and the boundless possibilities of imagination and expression. Writer’s block often emerges when the writer feels constrained by external pressures, self-doubt, or perfectionism, inhibiting their ability to access the infinite reservoir of creative inspiration within them.

Moreover, Kierkegaard’s concept of the finite and the infinite highlights the paradoxical nature of creativity. While the creative process involves the manipulation of finite materials—words, images, sounds—it also taps into something transcendent and ineffable, something that exceeds the boundaries of ordinary experience. Writer’s block can be seen as a manifestation of our struggle to bridge this gap between the finite and the infinite, to give form to the formless, and to articulate the inarticulable.

Having a Self as Eternity’s Claim: In Kierkegaard’s philosophy, the concept of “having a self” refers to the capacity for self-consciousness, self-reflection, and moral agency that distinguishes human beings from other creatures. It involves the awareness of one’s own existence as a distinct individual with thoughts, feelings, desires, and responsibilities. “Eternity’s claim” suggests that the existence of the self is not merely a temporal or transient phenomenon but is imbued with profound significance that extends beyond the confines of earthly life. The self, according to Kierkegaard, is intimately connected to the eternal dimension of human existence, reflecting the divine spark within each individual.

“Having a self as eternity’s claim” suggests that the act of creative expression is not merely a personal endeavor but is also a manifestation of the eternal striving for meaning and significance. Writers, as self-aware and self-conscious beings, bear a profound responsibility to give voice to their innermost thoughts and feelings, to explore the depths of human experience, and to contribute to the ongoing dialogue of humanity.

Embracing Existential Depth

So how do we value despair and overcome writer’s block in light of Kierkegaard’s insights? Writer’s block often extends beyond mere technical or practical challenges and can be rooted in deeper existential concerns. This involves grappling with questions of identity, purpose, and meaning in the creative process. By recognizing writer’s block as a reflection of these existential concerns, we can approach it as an opportunity for self-exploration and growth. Rather than viewing it solely as a barrier to productivity, we can use writer’s block as a catalyst for deeper introspection and self-discovery. This might involve journaling, meditation, or engaging in conversations with fellow writers or mentors to uncover underlying psychological or philosophical issues that may be contributing to the blockage. I have previously posted a blog on writing soliloquies. Embracing existential depth allows us to transform our struggles into sources of insight and inspiration, ultimately enriching our creative work.

There is a large aspect of accepting what you cannot control, another widely-known philosophical concept. Swimming against the current, after all, may prove to be more tiring than it’s worth. Instead, be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion during these moments. Understand that experiencing creative struggles is a normal part of the writing process and treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer to a friend facing similar challenges.

Seek social support. Reach out to fellow writers, friends, or mentors for support and encouragement. Sharing your struggles with others can help you gain perspective and feel less isolated in your creative journey, because, trust me, we have all been there.

Ensure that you are also setting realistic goals. All I would want to do was upkeep my 3k word/day momentum, but I would feel even worse about myself for being unable to do so. Break down your writing goals into smaller, more manageable tasks and set realistic deadlines for yourself. Celebrate small victories along the way to maintain motivation.

Finally, what has helped me the most, is to read widely. Immersing myself in diverse genres, styles, and voices provided so much insight into what I could be missing in my own work; or, it simply sparked my love of story-telling all over again.

Closing Words

Remember that writer’s block is a temporary obstacle that can be overcome with patience, persistence, and, apparently, a bit of philosophy. Where there is frustration, we will find insight.

#novel writing #creative writing #writer #writers #writing #writers on tumblr #writeblr #writers and poets #writerscommunity #writerslife #writers of tumblr #author #writingcommunity #authorlife #authors of tumblr #writing community #writing inspiration #writing advice #writing tips #on writing #writer stuff #writer things #writer problems #writer community #writer on tumblr #author life #author blog

[sugar-omi]

I THINK I FINALLY GOT IT TO WORK.... jfc anywayz this is nasty n i love it. so fellow monster freaks, this is for you my loves!!!! &lt;333

DAY FOUR — MONSTER FUCKING

*kinktober masterlist | *ao3

tags : NSFW, fem/afab reader, dub-con just bc y'all are so outta it, (mentioned/implied) dom/sub space, mermaid!cove x human!reader, soft to mean dom cove, biting, scratching, stomach bulging, knotting ment, ignore the kinda scary mer pregnancy bit okay

synopsis : cove finally lets you spend his heat with him, and your mermaid boyfriend is so much different than you had thought...

maybe you should have listened to cove when he said humans couldn't handle a mermaids heat. at least not without fighting for their life.

mermaids are naturally rough during their heats, biting and fighting for dominance over the other.. not to mention the sheer size of them.

cove is bigger than the average merman, "standing" at 12 feet tall.

which is something you should have factored in along with the sharp teeth and claws. because now, you're in a isolated underwater cove, with a horny, giant mermaid who is currently rearranging your guts.

"cove-!" you cry, pushing against his chest. it's fruitless, and you're just asking for more assertiveness, more pain

"stay still." cove growls, his sharp eyes striking through you, urging you to stay still and take it. you whine, your eyes rolling back. you know cove is trying to be gentle, but his mind is clouded.

"i-i can't take more!" you whimper. even though he's proportional for a merman of his size, it's too much for you. you couldn't possibly take all of his dick. "it won't fit-" you drawl, the words straining through gritted teeth.

cove kisses your cheek, licking your tears. "it's okay, it's okay..." he comforts, panting from the effort to control himself. "you can take it... i've prepared you for this.."

you whine when he moves again, the prominent ridges on the underside of his dick stretching you open.

he really did try to prepare you, gifting you a toy roughly the size of his dick and some smaller ones to work up to his size. cove even ate you out beforehand, his fingers slowly stretching you open and making sure you would come out as unscathed as possible.

cove kisses you, swallowing your whines and moans and trading it for his long tapered tongue.

you kiss back, letting cove consume your senses and take away all your burdens.

bitten, bruised, and sore, it's so worth it. to be connected with cove on this level.. it's maddening.

"are.. you okay?" cove pants into your ear, his fingers flexing around your waist as he tries to keep restraint.

you swallow, drool pooling in your mouth. "yes, yes, please move…"

cove fixes his grip on your body to move you the way he wants, his hands are so big they easily wrap around your waist and the heat coming from cove makes you feel like you're burning…

"ah-!" you drape yourself over cove. wrapping your arms tightly around his neck. he's moving your body so easily..

you know you're much smaller than cove, so his strength shouldn't be a surprise. but the way he's moving your body up and down on his cock like you're his personal cock sleeve drives you crazy.

"covee~" you drawl, your eyes rolling back. fuck you're losing your mind.

every part of your body and mind is consumed with pleasure, any thoughts you have melt and reform to think about nothing but cove and his dick.

cove's nails dig into your skin, pearls of blood coming to the surface and washing away with the movements of your hips.

the scratches should hurt, cove's claws aren't for decoration afterall, but it seems that medicine cove gave you helps with the pain you are sure to endure during his heat.

cove groans, "fuck.. you're so tight…"

you pang, blinking away your fucked out haze. "you're… you're just too- ohh fuck- too big!"

cove's laugh is cut off by your twitching cunt tightening around him, "jesus christ, y/n… stop tightening up.." cove growls.

you whine, dragging your nails down cove's scaled shoulders. "i'm-i'm trying.." you whine, "it feels so good."

cove drags his teeth over the exposed column of your throat. his lips trail down to your shoulder, and with much care that most mermaids wouldn't afford, he bites down hard enough to leave evidence of his teeth, and he runs his tongue over it soothingly.

you huff, squirming in cove's hold. "please, please cove! faster!"

cove peeks at you, stopping his assault on your neck and collarbone. "...can you handle it?"

you huff irritably, rolling your eyes. "i'm taking your dick right now aren't i? i'm not going to break."

cove glares, "it took you a week to get up to the toy that was only 2nd to my true size, you shook and cried that you couldn't take it."

his voice is booming, and maybe it should scare you, but something about cove reminding you how you pathetically ran to him to help you with the toy… it turns you on.

"you've trained your pathetic human cunt to take my dick and you still cried that it wouldn't fit." cove stares down at you, his height and gaze making you still and a fire is burning in your stomach.

"if i give you more than you can take, you'll break. aren't you worried about me hurting you?" cove inquires and his gaze is a mix of intrigue and confusion at your eager negative shake of your head.

"as if, you can't hurt a fly." you're testing him, he's already holding back for you and yet you can't help but want to push him over the edge…

cove growls, a sound that rumbles deep in his chest and his gills flare.

he doesn't say anything else, you've said enough after all and if it's more you want, it's more you get.

cove hugs you, one arm around your back and the other under your butt, and uses the power of his lower body to thrust up into you.

you yell, your nails scratching down his scales and to his back, surely scratching off skin if cove's hiss is anything to go by.

with the change of pace, the last couple inches of cove's dick forces itself into you. you can't even catch your breath since with every rearing of his hips, the knot at the base of his dick pop in-and-out of you.

"cove!" you slap his shoulder, shaking at the stimulation.

cove nips at your shoulder and chest, leaving small marks where he pleases. "you wanted more. don't blame me if you end up becoming my pathetic cock sleeve."

you whine, drool slipping past the corner of your lips.

he's really fucking you dumb, leaving you no choice but to think about nothing but his dick.

his fat tip keeps bumping against your cervix, hitting that lovely spot between your womb and your gummy walls.

"ah! ohh fuck!" you cry, cove has taken your nipple in his mouth, swirling his long tongue around the bud and teasing it with his teeth, your other breast in his hands, rolling the bud between his fingers.

you whimper and moan, shaking your hips in return. the sensation is so good, especially since he's keeping you from running with his arm around your waist, forcing you to take the pleasure he's giving you.

as if you would want to run anyway. you've become way too addicted to this now.

sure you and cove have been intimate before, but this is the most you've ever taken of his ridiculously large mer dick and this is the roughest he's ever been with you.

usually he’s the one holding your hips to keep you from sinking any further on his length. but now he's fucking you with reckless abandon, giving into your pleas after all this time…

it doesn't take much to succumb to the pleasure that you've been craving this whole time.

“cove!” you cry, your legs shaking.”i’m gonna, i’m gonna make a mess!”

cove growls, picking up pace, purposefully angling his tip to slam against your g-spot.

a couple solid thrusts is all it takes to have you shaking, your legs wrapped around cove as you squirt.

you're seeing white, your legs shaking and toes curling. you can barely process the groan that comes deep from cove's throat because of your convulsing cunt, you're wrapped so tightly around him that his cock drags against your walls when he tries to pull back.

you whine and shake, feeling sensitive after such an intention orgasm.

"cove…" you weakly call, pulling yourself up by his shoulders to try and get off his dick, that spongy spot inside your walls too tender from the abuse.

"don't pull away from me.." cove grunts, wrapping his arms around your waist tighter.

you pant, blinking and trying to keep consciousness.

you barely register that you're slipping into sub space, you've completely surrendered yourself to cove and obediently swallow the pearls he presses to your lips.

"mm, what.. what was that?" you ask, swallowing several times at the after taste. you know one of them was for breathing underwater, but you've never seen the other before..

"it's a contraceptive."

in this position you feel really small to cove, his body leaning over yours, completely trapping you between him and his nest.

combine that with his feral grin and sharp eyes… you're stuck and absolutely hypnotized.

"merfolk are very fertile, remember?" cove leans down to whisper in your ear. his voice deep and it penetrates your soul.

"we have a lot left to do before i impregnate you with my seed."

you shiver, looking at him with wide eyes. the thought doesn't terrify you, although maybe it should with what you know…

most humans don't survive it. and that's typically because they're not mated… something about DNA and special pheromones to relax and aid you in pregnancy and birth.

cove kisses your cheek, grinding his the tip of his dick near your womb. "don't worry… i know hoe to make it easier, don't be scared."

you nod mindlessly, trusting him.

"fuck!" you curse, the power of cove's thrust nearly burying you in his nest.

you cling onto his shoulders for dear life, your leg kicking out, allowing him to go even deeper.

"cove!"

"shhh, it's okay. just a bit more.." cove soothes, "i'm gonna cum soon…"

he groans, removing himself from your thoroughly marred neck to hold your legs and spreading them open, allowing him to piston into your weeping cunt.

you howl, throwing your head back and fisting the organized mess of blankets and materials of cove's nest, arching your back.

the movement just forces his dick deeper inside you, making you whine loudly.

you flip over, although not without much shaking, whimpering, and cove's nails digging into your skin.

although now that you've made it onto your stomach, weakly trying to escape the onslaught of pleasure, cove tugs your hips back and easily manhandled you.

he presses you against his chest with his hand, the other on your stomach, which he brings something interesting to your attention…

"fuck.. you see that?"

it takes you a minute to respond, too long because cove grabs you by your chin and tilts your head down, and shows you your stomach.

you moan lowly at the sight.

with every deep thrust you can see cove's dick protrude from your stomach, popping up right below your belly button.

cove lifts your head back up, his hand under your jaw, and he can't help but laugh at the tears running down your face.

"look at you, you've become a brainless slut."

you moan at cove's degrading comment. fuck you didn't think he had it in you but he does and you are losing it.

"maybe i'll keep you to myself forever. merfolk already have a bad reputation because of sirens.." cove growls in your ear, "wanna be my cute lil' cock sleeve, y/n?"

all you can do is beg and squirm for more.

"please.." you whimper, feeling cove's knot catching on your entrance. you want to be filled, you need him to cum inside..

cove laughs at your plea and kisses your lips, grinning a sharp toothed, wolfish smirk. "good girl, i'll take care of you…"

#sugar omi kinktober #sugar-omi kinktober #kinktober #olba #our life: beginnings & always #cove holden #cove holden x reader #smut #cove holden smut #our life cove #cove holden x mc #cove holden x reader smut #our life smut

[leeofthevoid]

I do not have a Crush

Jann Mardenborough (Movie) x Reader

a/n: Hello guys. I am alive, so please don't be mad about being MIA. School is hectic but finals are almost over. Rich World will continue but will change the title soon. (Yay!) This one is for the Jann girlies!

word count: 2673

warnings: Strong language

Part One

You sat next to Jann as he looked longingly at Audrey, who was chuckling with his younger brother, Coby, and his friends. 

“If you stare long enough, she might just melt.” You sarcastically remarked as you sat beside him, a beer in your hand. Jann rolled his eyes, looked down at his Diet Coke can, and sighed. “Any reason you’re bugging me and not Coby?” 

“No reason. I just wanted some fresh air, and this is my spot, the last time I remembered.” You leaned on the railing, stretching your back as you looked at the friends laughing. “You should shoot your shot. Audrey likes tall guys the last time I remembered.” 

Another dismissive sigh was heard from his area while playing with the can, which he barely touched. “You know that your advice won’t make a difference, right? I heard you had a thing for Corey, yet you still haven’t made moves.” He looked at you with a victorious smirk. A moment passed until the words finally settled in your mind, and retaliated with violence by smacking him on the arm. “Oh fuck off, I was helping you.” He busted out laughing while you walked away to go back to the group. 

That’s how it usually goes when you try to be friendly with Jann. He was always the hopeless romantic, yet he always had a knack for annoying you when it’s just you two. 

The next time you saw him was by the department store. You and Coby had the same schedule that day, and he wanted to go to where Jann works to assert some younger brother dominance thing that you would never understand. You saw Jann’s tall frame putting back women’s clothes as Coby called him over a few aisles down. 

“Jann! Come here!” The loud calls did not go unnoticed by anyone in the store, embarrassing him enough to run to you two and pull you aside quickly. “What is wrong with you, man? I’m at work!” He glared at his brother and hit him on the shoulder. Coby laughed and pulled you in front as a human shield.

“Relax, I just brought her here to shop for some lady stuff. Said she had a date to go to that needed some hot undie set.” You raised your eyebrows in confusion while shaking your head. 

“What? No way? I came here because you said you will mghdnfdg…” Coby clasped a hand on your mouth, muffling your comebacks while he pushed you off to Jann, who caught you and ran away.

“That asshole! What was he up to?” Jann slowly let you go while you balanced yourself, silently thanking him. He sighed and cleared his throat. “Whatever it was, it’s his stupidity catching up to him.” 

You also sighed, having no idea what to do now that Coby left you to fend for yourself. Jann scratched the back of his neck and checked his watch. “Hey, if you’re not busy, maybe ditch buying that ‘set’ and grab lunch with me? I’m done for the day anyways.” 

Your stomach was growling, and you barely got to eat something before coming here, so lunch sounded terrific. “You’re right. I’m starving. I’m craving some sandwiches, so take me somewhere with that, and I’ll pay for our lunch.” He chuckled and walked to his co-worker, probably saying something about leaving now, to which the other guy nodded. 

He turned back with a smile as he removed his vest and threw his arm around your shoulder, dragging you out of the store and to a sandwich place nearby. “Her Highness needs her food!” You rolled your eyes before walking to the counter and ordering your food.

He was such a bastard when it came to food, but he made it up to you by bringing him to where he played that racing game he was so obsessed with. He told you it was called ‘Gran Turismo,’ but you insisted it was a racing game just like every other you’ve come across. It was fun to piss him off, even if he didn’t. 

“Go wider!”

“But there’s a line! That’s the point of the game: you follow the line!” You grip the wheel of the console and glared at Jann. “No, the point of the game is to win.” Jann puts his hands on yours and takes a wider stance on the wheel instead of following the line. You hated his weird obsession with whin, but it was his fault for making you play a game. You heard Dylan call your name from behind while patting your head. “Thanks for going today, love. Seeing Jann so frustrated is such a treat.” He chuckled as he watched the screen of the console. 

The car effectively passed by the others and eventually got to fourth place, but at this point, it was all Jann. He even scooted you over to sit next to you. Brows creased in focus while his hands gripped tighter on yours. You watched the screen as he maneuvered past third place and second. Dylan and some other people gathered around as you two played the game, a sight you were new to. He was always the withdrawn type, but his apparent obsession with this game gained him a small fanbase in this arcade.

Jann held on, his palms sweating while turning and tailing the car in the first place. He hastily turned the wheel and accelerated, making your car and the first placer side by side before he stepped on the gas and made it to first place. The crowd around you cheered while you felt the shoot of adrenaline finally settle in you as Jann fought to keep his spot in first place. 

“Woooh!” You happily screamed out as you saw the finish line. “Jann, don’t you dare lose!” You hear him chuckle as he nods and steps on the gas while the car approaches the finish line. The crowd shushes, and you only hear your heart beating as the time slows. The next thing you know, you saw the car cross the checkered finish line, and the big letters “First Place” flashed. 

Everyone cheered as you both jumped up from the seat, screaming and jumping at him. “Oh my gosh, you’re amazing!” He caught you and gave you a tight hug before setting you down. 

“I mean…You did help so…” You shoved him off and rolled your eyes as a friend of Jann’s came over. 

“Holy shit, bruv, you did it again!” He looked at you and then smirked, “Is this Miss Audrey with us right now?” He offered his hand to you while you took it, giggling. 

“No way, I’m far from Audrey. She’s prettier and dresses simpler. I’m more of Coby’s eccentric best friend, who he ditched.” You took his hand and shook it lightly before sliding it away. 

“My name’s Bryan. And you mentioned being ditched? A pretty thing like you?”

You giggled softly and playfully rolled your eyes.“Y/N. And Jann should totally bring Audrey next time, no?” Bryan poked the boy behind you while he teased Jann about his very obvious crush on Audrey.

The rest of the day went swimmingly when Bryan and Jann offered to drop you off at your flat, getting Bryan’s number saved in the process. Such a flirt, that one. Who would have expected that Jann’s friends weren’t all weird geeks? 

After a few weeks or a day, before Jann got the good news, he was lying on his bed contemplating the trajectory of his life. 

He knew that he had no solid plan for his future, but he was sure it had some good things in it. Driving was his passion, and it was a big deal for him to be somewhat of a driver. He may not have driven any of the real cars in GT, but he knew all of them inside and out. It was meant for him. 

A few taps on his windows suddenly broke his quiet reverie. He slowly sat up and looked at the window, waiting to see if it was in his head or not. 

It was not. 

After the taps became much more apparent, he stood up and slowly approached the window. When he saw you smiling at him, he quickly opened it and let you in. 

“How the hell did you get up from there?!” Jann let you in before checking outside the window. He looked around to see how you scaled his house and saw no decent ledges you could have used. 

“Jannie! So sorry for being an intruder, but Coby was still not in his room, so…” You chuckled as you rambled. 

“Wait, Coby knows about this?” 

You paused and sat down on his bed, giving him a confused look. “Of course he does. I always swing by his room when I’m either high or drunk and wait for it to sober down.” 

His face twisted in an even more confused and worried way while checking his small snack box for water. He opened it before he gave it to you, sitting beside you. 

“Any reason why you’re dressed up, smelling like alcohol and cigarettes on a Wednesday night?”  You giggled while ungracefully handing him back the water bottle. “It’s a thing with my cousin. You know how it is.” 

“Being used like an ATM machine?” Jann interjected with some sass you never heard from him. 

You scoffed and raised your eyebrows. “Coby probably exaggerated the stories! I just don’t know where to spend my money!” He wasn’t convinced and pushed himself up against the wall, tuning you out, perhaps. 

“Ever since you broke up with your ex, Coby noticed that you’ve been partying a lot. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I get wanting to splurge, but you don’t even do it for yourself.” 

“Says the guy who saves up for his set-up. At least don’t be a hypocrite.” Warranting another eye roll to Jann for being a snoopy ass. “Besides, it’s fun. The party was amazing, and so many people were there.” 

“Spare me the details and sober up so you can go home.” He got up and went to his closet only to toss you a sweater when he closed it. “What?” The confusion and delayed effect of the alcohol and joint were there. 

“You are barely covered up. It’s freezing out there, and you have no layers on.” Jann sat on his gaming chair, a nod of plea to put it on without any resistance. 

After the slow, grueling struggle to put it on, the exhaustion hit you. You slowly slid under the covers of his bed. “Jann, wake me up in a few. I’ll nap. The running here must have tired me.” 

“What? You ran here?!” His question was left unanswered as you dozed off.

Jann sighed and draped the covers over your shoulder while setting up a chill late-night cruise on Gran Turismo with his friends. 

Little moments like those were never really forgotten. You just act like it’s nothing and never talk about hanging out with Jann when you two get the chance. It just happens, really. It's not like you’d ask him using a lame excuse just to talk about stuff or do activities together. His leaving you with the dumbest goodbye didn’t even make you feel empty at all. 

It just felt weird in a way. Coby started to practice more since his brother suddenly got into a rich guy’s sport instantly while he had to work hard. Men and their pride will always amaze you. 

You were lounging on your hotel bed one weekend when you got a call from Jann. You slowly deliberated before answering it because, first of all, it was out of nowhere. And secondly, Why? After three more rings, you had the guts to answer it finally. 

“Hello?”

“Took you too long to answer for someone glued to their phone the whole day, huh.”

You rolled your eyes before hearing a slight chuckle on his end. 

“Hello to you too, Jann.” 

“Hello, you. How have you been?”

How thoughtful of him to ask first. “I’ve been well. Although it is a bit fishy that you go radio silent and suddenly call me out of nowhere after a few months and then suddenly talk to me.”

“Always the skeptic.” He chuckled, then cleared his throat. “So um…A little snitch mentioned that you were in Japan, and I flew Audrey out here to spend some time together. We could use the company?”

Wow. That’s a lot to unpack right there. “Okay, what? You and Audrey are an item now? Since when was this?” He was about to speak when you cut him off. “Second, who the hell told you about me being in Japan? Third, of all…Are you proposing a double date?” 

“Hold on, what? Double date?” You groaned and dropped down to your bed when Jann sounded hell-bent on your new love life. 

“It’s just a date. I’m staying here for two months and might as well make the most of it. Answer my questions, too, though!” 

“Okay. Well. Agree to go meet us at this location tomorrow night, and I’ll tell you everything.” 

“Hm. Fine.” 

The call promptly ended with a goodbye before he sent the location of the place where you’d have your double date at. You wanted to think about it a little. The temptation was strong, though. Feeling homesick and alone can really distort a person’s perception. 

You stared at the recent call logs and sighed. You left the app and opened the chat with Tadashi to tell him that date night is now a double date. 

This was the worst idea ever. Jann has been weird around Tadashi ever since you introduced them to each other. It was awkward and tense for the first few minutes, Jann occasionally raising his eyebrows at you. You four were sitting in front of each other in a really nice sushi place that he was recommended. 

“So…Where did you two meet?” Bless this girl. Audrey will always save the day. “Actually, it’s a funny story.” You rubbed Tadashi’s hand as he snaked his arm over your shoulder. You smiled at him as he did the same. “We met at the fish market when I slipped trying to buy some fresh salmon.” 

“No way! You guys, that's so cute.” Audrey smiled at you in excitement. She’s such a good friend, but at the same time, her excitement might confuse Tadashi about your short-term set-up with him. “She looked offended when I asked her for her number, but I guess that noodle shop recommendation put me in her good books.” The three of you chuckled before Jann interjected, “That doesn’t sound creepy at all.” Audrey widened her eyes and lightly hit his shoulders before apologizing to Tadashi and you. 

The passive aggressiveness did not stop there, though. Throughout the whole dinner, Jann always had some weird bullshit about your life ever since his parents dubbed you their ‘Long lost daughter’. It’s just weird that he was the one who insisted on meeting up with you. 

At one point, Audrey decided to call it a night and even bought you some dessert when you paid the bill. It just upset you that Jann never even said thank you or acknowledged anything whatsoever.

Thankfully, that son of a bitch realized his rudeness two days later and texted you. 

J: Hey 

Y: What? 

J: Was a jerk 2 u 

J: sorry :( 

Y: It’s fine 

Y: Tadashi ghosted me. Your fault 🙄

J: U were too good for him n e ways

Y: Fuck u 

J: in your dreams 😇

Y: Ill block you if you dont stop 

J: was just jokin :( want to watch me practice driving? Audrey left and I have sum time to spare before germany 

Y: You just want me to buy you food 😒

J: nah. I’ll buy u food

Y: K fine. 

Y: Tomorrow? What time? 

J: I’ll pick u up. Send location 😛

a/n: Part 2??? Steamy part 2?? You tell me. :P

#jann mardenborough #gran turismo #jann #archie madekwe #jann mardenborough x reader #reader #granturismo fic #archiemadekwe fic #I love him so much please marry me

[ineffable-endearments]

I was rethinking the bookshop meta I wrote a while ago and realized I was not thinking big enough.

The bookshop has always been Aziraphale's version of Crowley's plants (his trauma reenactment), but also, absolutely everything Aziraphale does in Season 2 is a re-creation of Heaven's role. Crowley's behavior also encompasses everything, not just his plants.

I've seen it suggested that centering Aziraphale and Crowley's trauma histories is reducing their characters to behaving like just reactive victims instead of survivors with agency. Or worse, it's "excusing bad behavior." I don't agree with either of these, because I feel that part of Good Omens is about how large, powerful systems affect individuals, and so the context of every character's decisions matters a lot to the overall themes of the story. Everyone starts out working within a system they believe to reflect reality and then has to learn how to break free of it. You cannot really illustrate that without having the characters start out being genuinely trapped with different ways of coping with their reality.

This is an attempt at a pretty big-picture meta. Although it isn't a plot prediction, it's how I think some of the series' themes are going to progress. It starts out perhaps a little grim, but in the long run, it's how Aziraphale's character growth and relationship with Crowley can simultaneously be massive for them as individuals, a crucial part of the overarching narrative message of the series, and symbolic of a change in all of Heaven and Hell, all while allowing the themes to continue to prioritize human free will.

In short, it's about Aziraphale's problems, but it's also meant to be an Aziraphale love post.

All of the below exists in tandem with Good Omens as a comedy of errors. Just because there are heavy ideas does not mean they will not also be funny. Look back on how much of Season 2 seemed silly until we started to pick it apart! One of the amazing things about Good Omens is how it manages to do both silly and serious at once! (I feel like that's maybe a little Terry Pratchett DNA showing through. "Laughter can get through the keyhole while seriousness is still hammering on the door," as Terry himself said.)

Aziraphale has really embraced his connection to Crowley in Season 2, and he has also become considerably more assertive toward Heaven and Hell. These are both major growth points compared to the beginning of Season 1.

However, again, we have the concept of growing pains...Aziraphale is starting to re-create Heaven's role in his relationship with Crowley and humanity. It's really obvious with the Gabriel argument and the I Was Wrong Dance, but I think we see it all over the place: he seems to feel any serious dissent is a betrayal. He also seems to assume there's a dominance hierarchy and he, of course, is on top. Now that he's decided to take control of his own future, then surely that does mean he's the one in control, right?

With all that said, he still seems to have trouble being direct about the feelings that make him most vulnerable. He manipulates people and engineers situations in which he can try to get his emotional needs met rather than saying things outright (case in point: the Ball).

Like I pointed out in the bookshop meta: subconsciously, he's playing the role of God, modified with what God would be if She were everything he wants Her to be. He's generous, almost infinitely sweet, always does what's best for people...or, at least, what he believes is best for people. During the Ball, Aziraphale influences the people around him to be comfortable and happy even when they're not supposed to be, and he limits their ability to talk about things he thinks are too rude or improper for happy, formal occasions.

Doesn't this pattern sort of make sense for an angel who's just discovering free will? Like, at the end of Season 1, he made an enormous choice to stand against Heaven and realized he could survive it. Now he's gone a bit overboard with exerting his own will. Unfortunately, while he's learned to question upper management, he's still operating on a fundamental framework of the universe where there have to be two sides and there has to be a hierarchy. Also, since Aziraphale is on the Good side, he of course has to gear his desires into what's Good rather than just what he wants, so he sometimes thinks he's doing things for others when really he's doing things for himself. (For example, matchmaking Maggie and Nina started out as something he wanted to use to lie to Heaven, but by the time he was commenting "Maggie and Nina are counting on me," he seemed sincere, like he had genuinely convinced himself this was for them and not for himself.)

Aziraphale knows Heaven interferes in human affairs, ostensibly on God's behalf. He thinks She should be intervening in ways that are beneficial. What I believe the narrative wants him to learn is that God and Heaven shouldn't be manipulating people at all, not even for Good, and in fact there is no real meaningful hierarchy.

Anyway, a top-down, totally unquestioned hierarchy is the primary social relationship Aziraphale has known, and it's certainly been the dominant one for most of his existence: you're either the boss or the underling, and if someone seriously questions you, they don't have faith in you - they don't respect you.

No, his relationship with Crowley has not always been like that, but they've been creating their relationship from whole cloth, so how would he know it shouldn't become that way, now that it's "real" and out in the open?

No, human relationships aren't like that, but Aziraphale clearly does not see himself or Crowley as human. As the relationship approached something that seemed like it must be "legitimate," Aziraphale would naturally look for a framework to fit it to. And again, the only one he has is the shape of "intimacy," or what passes for it, in Heaven. What has "trust" always meant in all his "legitimate" relationships? It has always meant unquestioning obedience, of course. What have the warm fuzzies felt like in Heaven? Well, praise from the angels above him is nice, so that must be it, right?

Aziraphale even describes being in love as "what humans do," separating out that relationship style. Someday, I think he'll realize he favors the shape of love on Earth, something that's more inherently equal, more give-and-take. Look at how he idealizes it from afar at the Ball. But I think that, like Crowley before Nina pointed it out, Aziraphale maybe hasn't 100% grokked that it can and in fact should work that way for him and Crowley, too. Just like people can desperately want to dance without knowing how to dance, or can desperately want to speak a language without knowing the language, Aziraphale does not instinctively know how to have the kind of relationship where he can be truly vulnerable and handle Crowley's vulnerability as well.

Aziraphale is downright obsessed with French, known as the "language of love." He's trying to learn it the Earthly way. He's not very good at it, but he wants to be.

This pattern is still present during the Final Fifteen even if we assume Aziraphale is asking Crowley to become an angel again out of fear (and I find it very hard to believe that fear doesn't factor in at all). He's still building his interactions off of that Heaven-like framework: he asks Crowley to trust him blindly, he tries to assume a leadership role with a plan Crowley never agreed to and couldn't follow anyway, and he tries very hard not to leave room for an ounce of doubt. He also suggests making Crowley his second-in-command and obviously does not register that this could possibly be offensive. Again, I think this is because for Aziraphale, there has always been a hierarchy in Heaven, it's started to transfer to his relationship with Crowley, and breaking out of that assumption about relationships is going to take more processing than a single argument can do.

As I mentioned in another post, I don't believe Aziraphale had a real choice about whether he accepted the Supreme Archangel position. I think he could sense that he was not getting out of it and chose to look on the bright side, to see it as an opportunity. And instead of looking realistically at how that would feel to Crowley, he tried to sweep Crowley up to Heaven with him using toxic positivity, appeals to morality, and appeals to their relationship itself. Again, mimicking what Heaven has done to him.

To me, "they're not talking" is a big clue that Aziraphale's approach with Crowley is going to be the mistake the narrative really wants him to face. "Not talking" has, thus far, been presented as the central conflict of Season 3! After losing the structure and feedback Heaven gave him, Aziraphale started creating Heaven-like patterns in his relationship with Crowley, and breaking out of those patterns is what he needs to do. Discovering first-hand that Heaven's entire modus operandi is bad no matter who's in charge is how he can do it.

Look, either you're sympathetic to Aziraphale's control issues or you're not. Personally, I am. He's trying so, so hard to be good. I think trying to figure yourself out (which Aziraphale is clearly doing) is hard enough, and when you start balancing what you want for yourself, what you think are your responsibilities, and what other people are actively asking of you, you're bound to fall into the patterns that have been enforced for your whole life or for millions of years, whichever came first.

It is very easy to assume that people should Just Be Better, but it's not actually that simple to be a thinking, feeling person. My anxiety tends to move in a very inward direction and Aziraphale's moves outward. But I'd imagine the desperation and exhaustion are the same.

Unlike Nina, Aziraphale became a rebound mess. I don't think it occurred to either him or to Crowley that there could be any soul-searching, anything but carrying on with the new normal after their stalemate with Heaven and Hell.

Now, instead of getting rejected by Heaven and surviving it, Aziraphale needs to be the one to reject Heaven. It needs to be a choice. And that choice is going to come from realizing that Heaven isn't just poorly managed but also represents a bad framework for all relationships.

How could this happen? Good question. We're obviously not supposed to know yet, although I think picking at existing themes within the narrative could possibly give us hints.

It's possible Aziraphale's character development trajectory will be akin to Adam Young's in Season 1. Please see this stellar post by eidetictelekinetic for more thoughts about it, but basically, in Season 1, Adam saw that the world was not what he wanted it to be and decided his vision was better; as he ascended to power, he took complete control over all his friends and then soon realized that's not what he wants because there's no point in trying to have relationships with people who can't choose you. It's that realization that leads Adam to conclude he doesn't want to take over the world and to reject the role he's expected to play as the Antichrist. Maybe Aziraphale's trip to Heaven is an attempt at a control move during which he'll realize he's defeating his own point.

Aziraphale clearly wants to be chosen. From the very beginning, he's wanted to be special and cared for - just like Crowley has.

Incidentally, I think Aziraphale and Crowley are going to represent pieces of the bigger picture here, and this - first imitating and then rejecting Heaven's relationship style - can both symbolize Heaven's transformation and directly start it (probably in an amusing, somewhat indirect way, like when he handed off the flaming sword to Adam).

If I'm right - which I may very well not be - I think this would all be so, SO cool. Like, "An angel who is subconsciously trying to be a better God" is a concept with so much potential for both tender kindness and incredible darkness. Add to that the comedy-of-errors aspect of "...but even deeper down, he'd much rather just be super gay on Earth" and you have, in my opinion, a perfect character.

I think this could work for Crowley as well. It's obvious that in the Good Omens universe, at least so far, Hell is all about detesting humans and punishing them; Satan seems to genuinely hate humans (unlike in some of NG's other works). Our perspective on this could change, but it potentially puts Crowley in a complementary position to Aziraphale, as a demon who is trying to be "better" than Satan. But this isn't about being "morally better." It's about things having a point. Crowley's exploits usually have a point: they test people. And you can pass his tests! He sincerely likes making trouble, but Crowley doesn't live to punish.

But, once again, the above paragraph would describe a transient phase for this infinitely charming character. Because, again, I think the point will be that in the end, Crowley's deeper-down desire, moreso than testing Creation, is watching it grow with a glass of wine in hand.

#go3 speculation

[ladyrijus]

Lately, I have been thinking about Kotake and Koume, and, out of interest, have read through a lot of interesting takes on their involvement in Ganondorf's upbringing during Ocarina of Time. However, I've noticed that some of these discussions tend to depict them as emotionally distant, exploitative, manipulative, and even borderline cruel.

Which, granted, isn't entirely out of line for their characters. What other personality traits could we expect out of witches who brainwashed their people into doing the bidding of their king, who were born nearly 400 years before the events of Ocarina of Time and therefore hold a vastly different worldview than the rest of their tribe?

But as always, I like to carry a bit of sensible skepticism when it comes to the narrative that is being pushed in the game. And I find it almost imperative to do so for Ocarina of Time, given that it is played through the eyes of Link, a child soldier who fails to question the orders that he believes he is meant to follow, and the kingdom of Hyrule, which had recently come out as the victor and dominant power after a "civil" war.

The question still remains, however. What, in Ocarina of Time, would "redeem" Twinrova? Where can we see evidence of their "goodness"?

In my opinion? Their powers.

Their powers, I argue, were not chosen randomly by the creators of Ocarina of Time. It was absolutely intentional to show their association with the Gerudo Tribe and more importantly, the Gerudo Valley/Desert. Just think about it, the climate there is scorching hot during the day, yet biting cold during the night.

Wouldn't you, with powers of ice, try to cool down your people after they return from a tiring yet successful hunt?

Wouldn't you, with powers of fire, try to warm your people up when there is not enough hides and furs to pass around?

And given that no one (aside from maybe Ganondorf) has these powers, it is safe to assume that the Gerudo regarded Twinrova as blessed beings; divine guardians sent by the Goddess of the Sands as a reward for their endurance in such harsh climates.

Again, this isn't to condone their actions that take place during the game. We see they are more than happy to kill in the name of their king, willing to coerce others into killing by ways of dark magic.

However, we should also acknowledge the fact that we're encouraged to see just that: two antagonistic witches who revel in brainwashing, killing, cheating death, and being unapologetically evil.

Boring. If we wanted absolutely evil, death seeking creatures, we can look to literally any other magical creature in Ocarina of Time.

Rather, it's important that Twinrova are humans (or humanoid, though either way their sentience still stands), as it forces players to 1) look at the bigger picture and question why the twins behave the way they do and 2) recognize that they have motives that go beyond simply helping a king assert control over an entire world.

Perhaps, Twinrova might have been prolonging their lives to look out for their people, as they had no one with magical affinity to mentor until Ganondorf had demonstrated his own prowess in the mystical arts.

Perhaps, over the centuries, they realized the chiefs and chieftesses before Ganondorf were not cutthroat enough like their Hylian counterparts to fend off territorial expansion/colonization.

Perhaps, after seeing their era of prosperity being snatched away from them, they grew hateful of the kingdom that lives in splendor, and wanted to see it burn and freeze the way they do.

Perhaps, after seeing the complacency of the new generation, how some of their best warriors seek out lovers in that damned Castle Town, they realized this boy was their only hope of restoring their honor and dignity.

#i am the gerudo people's number one defender! move! #also i would like to point out that it's unlikely for ww ganondorf to etch their names to his dual swords if he held no affection for them #tloz #loz #the legend of zelda #legend of zelda #gerudo #twinrova #kotake #koume #ganondorf #link #ocarina of time #oot

[sunnysidewrites]

Demon prince!Seungcheol

Inspired by this prompt: “I’m a demon, not a hot water bottle. Stop cuddling me.” “But you’re so warm.” “Like hell. Fire, brimstone, eternal burning.” It had absolutely no effect whatsoever, and the demon sighed, wrapping one arm around the other. This is my re-debut (although not sure if this counts as a re-debut or if it's just a one-time thing) after nearly a 6-year hiatus and needless to say I am extremely nervous and excited!!! (talking in idol terms luv that) I am hoping that also means my writing quality has matured as well (I think??? or not but guess we will find out)! This is for everyone who knew me back then and is still around to see this play out! sorry if it's not the best i am EXTREMELY rusty but hope you enjoy lovelies <3333

wow omg it’s great to dive into writing after so long im getting emotional

you know the drill folks let’s get to it!!

Humans and demons have lived in co-existence for centuries and it’s more or less a chaotic neutral environment given the unique circumstances of these 2 different… races?

It can be difficult to distinguish the demons with the humans since they try to blend in seamlessly for their own sense of peace and security

Despite a big chunk of demons integrating with humans, there are still parts around the world, albeit small, where they have their own territory to control

They usually operate in more traditional political systems, such as still maintaining kings and queens

Humans can live there as well, but it is predominantly demons who are seen as the norm and the former as commoners/lower class

You happen to be one of the lowly commoners who have been working as a maid in the castle since you were young

you and Seungcheol, the Crown Prince, were actually kinda close as kids!!

you could tell all he wanted to do was let loose and have fun but was forced to follow the rules and take everything seriously 24/7

even as a 5 y/o you could see how much he yearned to be a regular kid but duty calls :”((

there were many times you hung out together in secrecy since you as a lowly maid could not be caught DEAD associating yourself with someone of such a high status

and add being human on top of that!! <3

But Seungcheol didn’t care you were literally his first and only friend at the time

Any time a guard looked for him, he and you would duck somewhere to hide together, stifling your smol little giggles im dead

As he grew up and more burdens were placed on his shoulders, you could no longer keep the same innocent, playful friendship between the two of you

Your interactions with him went from running around in the garden to stealing quick looks at each other when you passed by him in the hallways

He went from a happy lil child to a very assertive, stoic man who always picked his kingdom over anything

Despite his new persona, he would occasionally still show you very rare displays of fondness??

You would sometimes randomly find gifts on your bed with a note and well it doesn’t take a genius to know who it’s from

“I swiped the last cookie for you before Penny stole it and I know you would become a demon yourself if someone took your sweets”

“I noticed your uniform was ragged and a little ripped so here’s a new set. be more careful or our next encounter won’t be as pleasant”

“Here’s an extra blanket loser don’t freeze to death on me”

Your heart feels warm knowing that he still shows you his softer side to you while he’s practically a statue to everyone else

Now you were both in your mid-twenties and he’s been busier than ever with political meetings and social gatherings

You were his main maid since out of all of the staff, you were the only one who could really put up with his absurd requests and got along with him in a manner no other maid could, even the older ladies

There were times he summoned you to his headquarters for the sole reason of wanting some company

He would bring up some dumb question and you would be like no offense but this is kinda useless

But little did you know he would do that intentionally to see you crack a little smile, maybe even a laugh in there since he’s been seeing you look more despondent lately

“Even though we can’t run around the palace like how we did as kids, I’m still here. I’m the same Seungcheol – well, actually not really but I still look out for your wellbeing”

“Thanks, not-the-same-Seungcheol”

It’s rumored that the Crown Prince is coming of age to take over the throne soon, but before doing so he needs to find a bride yes it’s one of those tropes ok deal with it

You’re cleaning the hallways one day with some other maids and you can’t help but overhear their gossip

“Did you hear Prince Seungcheol is now engaged??? I think it was just last week”

Your ears perk up and your scrubbing slows down slightly so you can focus on their conversation

“Yeah, I heard the woman is a princess from some neighboring kingdom… It’s really hitting soon that he’ll be the new king”

“I don’t know how long she is going to last… he’s so cold and doesn’t seem to care about anyone. but what can you expect from a demon?” 

They both giggle and move to another room to continue cleaning and you can’t help but feel fired up from the way they were talking about him as if they knew anything about him

Sure, he was not really the friendliest and was very brutally honest with his curt words but it didn’t make him a bad person

Your heart aches after hearing the news and you recall a past talk you had with Seungcheol when you were younger

“Do you believe in love?” you asked him, the both of you lying down on the grass while looking up at the vibrantly blue sky

“Pshh, not really. Father always said marriage is for the people, not for love”

“But shouldn’t you love someone in order to marry them? you will be spending the rest of your life with them”

“I don’t think that is what he wants from me. I would be letting him down”

“Is that what you really want, though? to be stuck with someone you have no feelings for?”

he sighs deeply and looks down. “Well, I guess not… I do care a lot for someone”

your heart dropped. guess he already has his eyes set on someone else. “o-oh, well that wouldn’t be fair to you or to them right?”

he shakes his head, quickly glancing at you before looking away. “but it wouldn’t work out anyway. I wouldn’t want to drag them into the mess of my world. I want them to be free of what I go through. I just hope they know I’ll always care for them from afar.”

You shake your head out of a daze, painfully reminded of how raw that moment still feels

I wonder if he still cares for that person he mentioned, you think to yourself as you continue scrubbing the tiles. But what does it matter now that his future is sealed with someone else?

Shortly after that day, it was formally announced to the kingdom that the Crown Prince and the soon-to-be Crown Princess will be holding a wedding ceremony in just a short few weeks

On the outside, you smile politely and clap your hands but it takes every fiber of your being to not want to fling the door to your cramped bedroom and collapse on your bed and spill the tears you were desperately attempting to hold in 

As you stared at him and his fiancee out the balcony waving to everyone, you swear you thought you saw him give you a forlorn look that lasted for a millisecond before he returned to his usual expressionless state

From that moment on, you barely saw Seungcheol at all

This man was constantly getting pulled in all different directions, especially with the royal wedding around the corner

The night before his big day, he summons you to his room again and your mind is buzzing with loads of thoughts of what he could possibly want to talk to you about

You cautiously enter and close the door slowly before turning back towards him

He looks more disheveled than usual, his hair tousled, his usual prince attire crinkled and slightly unbuttoned

“You look stressed, what's wrong??”

He closes his eyes and sighs for a moment before slowly opening them again and says while still not making eye contact with you, “I… I feel like I’ll have so many regrets once tomorrow comes”

You’re like why is that??

“Do you remember me mentioning I cared a lot about someone back then?”

Your heart drops to your stomach. “Yes… why?” thanks for the reminder

“I keep thinking about them… and all of these what-ifs. I know I can’t do anything about it, but–”

“Of course you can do something about it! I know you’re a stickler for the rules, but if the cost is your happiness, is it really well worth it?”

He shakes his head, looking even more troubled than before. “I can’t risk putting them in that position. Yet I… I want to,” he articulates slowly, as if it’s only dawning on him now that he’s finally learned what he truly feels

You feel as if the waves of heartache and anguish are drowning you but you try to be strong for him and present a smile if not for him, then for yourself

“I think you know what you need to do, Seungcheol”

And with those words, you quietly bow out and make your way to your room

The next morning, you wake up with puffy eyes from crying all night and begrudgingly get out of bed to get ready for the busy day ahead

After a hectic morning and afternoon, the ceremony finally begins

The moment we’re all waiting for is “Speak now or forever hold your peace”

And the most baffling thing happens because it’s not you who speaks up, not some secret lover, not some random citizen in the audience

but it’s Seungcheol himself

“Wait – I don’t think I can go through with this”

SCANDALOUSSSS

That’s right, he causes a whole uproar and everyone is like what tf is he talking about?!?!?

You are unfazed to a certain degree due to the conversation you had with him last night but you’re still confused on where this is going to go

Never in a million years would you have imagined for him to say his next words

“I’m in love with someone else: Y/N”

And all the maids around you gasp like WHAT. IS. HE. TALKING. ABOUT.

You aren’t sure whether to feel mortified or happy but whatever it is, all eyes are now on you

The current King is like MISTER?? WITH A H U M A N????

“I know it’s never been done before, having a demon and a human marry each other. but I’m tired of always having to do the right thing and for once, I want to do something that is right but for myself”

You’re looking at him in complete bewilderment and disbelief like you were talking about me this whole time??!!

“If we can prove that humans and demons can come together, it’ll be a huge stepping stone politically for everyone involved. I can’t change how I feel about her but I can change our worlds with her by my side”

He makes his way towards you and grabs your hand and this time he does not break eye contact even once

“I want to be with y/n, and no one else”

You’re melting like putty in his arms it’s honestly really sweet!!!

The King eventually caves in although he’s obviously not happy with all of their efforts wasted but he’s cool enough to welcome in this new change

Everyone’s reactions are pretty mixed understandably but they don’t seem like they hate it which is probably the best reaction you’re gonna get

“You’re not asking for my hand in marriage are you?? bc that’s a little too quick on a first date”

He shrugs and nonchalantly says, “Not until you’re ready” JESUSLFSJDS

The rest of the day is a whirlwind of crazy events that you get caught up in as the Crown Prince’s new lover now 

By the time it’s time for bed, he summons you for the last time as you being a maid and not as a Girlfriend

Well turns out he’s actually a big baby and the whole time he tried to conceal his feelings for you all he wanted was for you to be by his side pshh lame amiright

“You sure move fast with wanting me to be in your bed already and we haven’t even gone on an actual date yet”

“Shut up and just lay beside me”

After you turn off the lights and get under the covers, you can’t help but notice he’s extremely hot (literally and physically) and considering it’s 20 degrees you’re taking all of that warmth

Of course, Seungcheol tries to make it a big deal and get you off of him even tho he secretly enjoys it

“I’m a demon, not a hot water bottle. Stop cuddling me.”

“But you’re so warm.”

“Like hell. Fire, brimstone, eternal burning” 

Like that was gonna stop you who does he think he is for putting you through all of this and at the very least not giving you some cuddles???

He sighs and wraps one arm around the other after he notices your breathing slowing down

“I don’t have to care about you from afar anymore,” he murmurs, brushing your hair out of your face before also slowly losing consciousness

#my post #seventeen #seventeen seungcheol #seventeen scoups #seungcheol #scoups #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen headcanons #seventeen au #seungcheol imagines #seungcheol scenarios #seungcheol headcanons #seungcheol au #scoups imagines #scoups scenarios #scoups headcanons #scoups au #demon au #demon prince au #demon prince!seungcheol #demon!seungcheol #demon prince!scoups #demon!scoups

[therhythmafterthesummer]

Finding Comfort in Autumn (M) ~Changbin

Pairing: Werewolf!Changbin x Werewolf!F.Reader Themes: Supernatural/Fantasy AU | Fluff | Smut | Angst | Slow Burn | Rivals? to Lovers | Roomies to Lovers Warnings: unconventional a/b/o dynamics · mentions of abuse (unrelated to Changbin) · self-loathing · graphic depictions of intercourse (warnings under the cut) · pet names (puppy/pup) Word Count: ~16k | AO3 Summary: Changbin was an alpha. He had always been an alpha, but he had a secret. A secret he had only ever shared with the alpha of his pack, a secret he had kept buried as deep within him as he could, a secret he had decided to ignore, until the presence of that annoying omega coworker of his wouldn’t let him ignore it anymore.

Author’s Note: again, where did all these words come from? anyway, i wanted to explore a different type of a/b/o dynamic, and this is what came out of it, if you’re reading this, hope you enjoy it, and if you did, don’t hesitate to leave your thoughts~ [This story takes place within the It’s Cold Out universe, meaning it’s part of my WereRoomies series].

Due to all the abovementioned warnings, this story is intended for an adult audience only. Minors please do not interact.

Changbin’s WereRoomies Instalments: Finding Comfort in Autumn · Heat · The Love I Always Dreamt Of.

Smut Warnings: oral (F.Rec) · mutual masturbation · protected penetration (piv) [it’s all pretty vanilla, oops]

Disclaimer: the story represented in this work does not represent Stray Kids in any way; anything described in this story and all actions performed by the characters are purely fictional, this was created just for good fun.

Changbin had always known he was an alpha, just as did his parents. He displayed alpha traits since he was very young; he was opinionated, liked to assert dominance among his peers, and got incredibly upset when people touched his toys, so when puberty hit him, and his true scent started to ooze off of him, it was no surprise to anyone that his scent was that of an alpha. His parents were ecstatic as soon as their suspicions were confirmed, immediately gushing on and on about the possibility of their son ever leading a pack.

The moment his alpha status started to be recognised in his teenage years, something had changed in Changbin, and not for the better. He became more aggressive, he’d snap at people over the smallest things, and he’d get himself in physical altercations just out of the pure anger he felt coursing through his veins.

There weren’t that many werewolves in his school, humans obviously didn’t know about their existence, but every werewolf knew of the other, and even though each one tried to keep to themselves or to their own small groups from the same pack, Changbin seeked them. He seeked conflict often, almost as if he was trying to prove something.

If there was another alpha he’d try to fight them, if there were any betas or omegas he’d intimidate them into submission, using his alpha voice or his predator stare. Hell, he would even try to intimidate humans, too. He loved seeing them cower from him, seeing them avert their gaze when he used his predator stare–or at least, he used to think he loved it.

There was always that one person, though. That one person at school that never cowered, that, if anything, stared back at him, defied him. You, a werewolf from a different pack. Changbin could still remember the very first time you stood up to him, he had pushed one of your friends out of the way, rather violently, making them stumble to the ground as he snickered.

You, completely furious, stood right in front of him, pushing on his chest with force. “Stop being a fucking jerk!”

Changbin was stunned for a few seconds, only enough to get a whiff of your scent, a mix of nutmeg and ginger, and, to his absolute shock, the scent of an omega. His stunned expression quickly changed, staring you down as his alpha voice came out even before he could register it. “What the fuck did you just say to me?”

He saw the moment his tone reached your ears, the moment your stare faltered just slightly, but you didn’t avert your eyes, nor did you back out. “I said, stop being a fucking jerk. Are your ears not working? Fuck right off, leave us alone”.

Oh, Changbin was seething, how could an omega dare talk back to him? And stare him right in the eyes as they did at that? He couldn’t help but let out an incredulous, sarcastic laugh. “And what’s the puppy gonna do about it, huh?!”

“This puppy’s gonna tear your balls off your body and make you eat them if you continue to torment us like this”.

Before Changbin could retaliate, before he could even attempt to make you submit, a call of your name finally made you look away from him, turning instead to the man calling for you. Your gaze shifted then, finally recoiling and turning your eyes to the floor as the man came to stand next to you, eyeing Changbin up and down. “Is there a problem here?”

Hyunwoo, another alpha werewolf at school, a handful of years older than Changbin, his confident demeanour coupled with his strong scent startled Changbin, but he answered him regardless, gritting his teeth slightly. “Not at all”.

The man looked around them for a second, and then stepped into Changbin’s space, flooding Changbin’s senses with his alpha scent and staring him down. “Thought so”, taking a hold of Changbin’s upper arm, gripping him tightly, he tugged him closer, enough for Hyunwoo to whisper in his ear. “Don’t you fucking dare come close to my omega, understood?”

Changbin gulped the saliva that had collected in his mouth, eyeing you for a second until he nodded, so Hyunwoo finally let go of his arm without saying another word. He turned to you instead, taking your wrist and tugging you away, and Changbin could’ve sworn he heard him muster a ‘you and I are gonna talk once we’re back at the den…’ as you two left.

Back then, that encounter had left Changbin so shaken, so utterly out of his element he kept to himself the rest of the day. Confused by the entire thing, by the omega that stared back at him, and the alpha that managed to shut him up. But his behaviour didn’t particularly change after that, he decided to move on and pretend it never happened at all.

It wasn’t until a few weeks later, that Changbin finally had his wake up call.

“C’mon, this needs to stop. You can’t keep hurting yourself like this, what the fuck’s gotten into you?” Chris had told him one day as they sat at the nurse’s office in their school. Changbin had gotten himself in a fight with a guy from another class, over what exactly Changbin couldn’t even remember. He could only remember his fist hitting the guy’s jaw and the other hitting back, leaving him with a split lip and a bruised eye.

“What’s gotten into me?” Changbin had lounged at Chris back then, too, grabbing him by the collar of his uniform and pulling him close to him. “I’m an alpha, am I not? This is who I fucking am! This is who I’m supposed to be!”

“This is not who you’re supposed to be!” Chris tugged on Changbin’s wrists, effectively getting his hands off of him so he could push on his chest, removing Changbin from his space. “I’m an alpha, too, remember? This has nothing to do with your fucking designation”.

Chris was a couple of years older than Changbin, and even if they were not in the same year at school, they belonged to the same pack, so they had been friends for a long time. Much like it happened with Changbin, no one was surprised when Chris’ alpha designation presented itself once puberty hit him. However, he had reacted completely differently than Changbin had when he found out.

Chris seemed to always be so sure of himself,so sure of his place in the pack. As if he knew exactly who he was and what he wanted to do, which always puzzled Changbin. How could Chris feel that way, when he was struggling so much?

“Then what the fuck am I supposed to do?!” Changbin had snapped that day, but not in the way he had been snapping at people for the past few months. This time, his words came out as a desperate sob, tears quickly welling in his eyes as he brought his fists to press on his eye sockets, shamefully hiding from his friend. “What the hell am I supposed to do, then?”

Changbin could still remember that day vividly. How Chris had tentatively wrapped his arms around him, holding him as he cried. It was the first time he had shown vulnerability, and he wasn’t sure if it was because of how much his face hurt from where he had been hit, or if it was Chris’ general comforting aura that caused it, but he broke down right there in the nurse’s office.

“I don’t know what to do… I don’t know who I am, this all feels so wrong”, Changbin had admitted back then as he sobbed against Chris’ chest.  

“We can… We can figure it out together, but stop hurting yourself like this, and stop hurting others too, please…” Chris had pleaded back then, and it wouldn’t be until much later that Changbin would realise how much those words of Chris’ had impacted him.

Changbin and Chris were both of the same designation, the same status, but somehow Changbin always felt as if he wasn’t even close to Chris’ level. This was something he felt whenever he was close to every other alpha he had ever met, he felt as if he wasn’t ‘alpha enough’, a conclusion he had reached after a long time spent doing a lot of introspection, helping him realise that his anger issues in his teenagehood rooted from just that, that struggle he felt within himself, something he was able to work on as he grew up.

By the time Changbin was close to finishing his last year in High School, he had already realised his wrong-doings, how fucked up everything he had done had been, so he spent his last year going to those he had hurt during his lowest time to deeply apologise for his behaviour, all with the support of Chris and Jisung–an omega werewolf they had met after he transferred schools a couple of years prior.

Some people had accepted Changbin’s apology, some even told him they barely even remembered any encounter they had had with him. But then, there was you. You, the omega from a different pack that somehow always managed to press his buttons in all the wrong ways. You, the omega with the nutmeg and ginger scent, masked almost completely by the earthy scent of that one alpha Hyunwoo. You, the only one in his class that continued to defy him time and time again, to get better scores, better ideas for assignments, the only one that tried to be better than him and say it to his face.

Changbin had to apologise to you, too. That was what Chris and Jisung had told him at least. After all, he did try to intimidate you with his predator stare the first time you properly interacted with one another. However, you had gotten on his nerves so many times throughout your school years in different ways completely unrelated to your… Supernatural condition he almost didn’t reach out to you.

‘Don’t do things in halves, dude. You’ve apologised to everyone else, you must apologise to her, too’, was all Chris told him when Changbin voiced how much he just didn’t want to do it. Eventually, though, he figured Chris was right, so he did approach you one day, just as you were shoving books from your locker into your bag.

“What do you want, Seo Changbin?” You slammed your locker closed and then started to walk away from him, making him sigh in annoyance and follow you.

“I want to–God, would you stop walking and look at me?” 

You stopped, and looked him right in the eyes. “Why? So you can use your predator stare on me?”

Changbin held your gaze for a few seconds, but then he dropped to look at your nose instead. “I wanted to… To apologise for… For trying to intimidate you all those years ago”.

You were clearly taken aback by the sudden apology, holding your bag a bit tighter. “Okay…?”

“Yeah, so… It was wrong of me to use my status like that, I shouldn’t have and I’m deeply sorry. I’ve learnt my lesson”, Changbin bent at the waist, regarding you with a short bow before he straightened himself again, turning his eyes back up to look at your face.

You were quiet for a moment, just looking at him, your mouth opening and closing a few times until you finally shook your head a bit, clearing your throat. “Apology accepted”.

Oddly enough, Changbin did feel relieved, almost as if the weight of his actions had finally lifted off of his shoulders.

“What I won’t forgive you for is copying my final project’s topic, though”, you added as you continued to walk, which made him scowl.

“I didn’t fucking copy your topic. If anything, you copied me!”

To which you simply scoffed and turned around the corner, finally leaving his sight.

You had accepted his apology back then, but your bickering didn’t stop. If anything, it kept up until the very last day of school, until you both graduated and moved on with your lives. Regardless, Changbin couldn’t undo what he had done, but he had finally owned up to it, and at the very least he did learn his lesson, something his friends commended him for.

As Changbin continued to mature and to work on himself, he finally came to another realisation. Everyone had been able to notice Changbin’s alpha traits when he was growing up, they were painfully obvious, so his other traits, those that he only displayed on occasion, or that he would unconsciously hide from other people, went unnoticed for years. Changbin was incredibly sensitive, he was, essentially, a softie. Something that didn’t usually comply with the image expected of an alpha. He had no real desire to lead a pack, or to lead in general.

Which is why, when Chris decided to start a pack of his own, Changbin was more than happy to follow him as his right hand. Changbin’s parents were not exactly thrilled by that decision, since they always had this inexplicable dream of him leading a pack–a thought so incredibly ludicrous to Changbin he couldn’t even laugh about it–but they supported him anyway, giving them a place to start their den for it to be soon filled with their friends.

However, Changbin had a secret. Even though Chris was his best friend since childhood, and they knew more of each other than probably any other person ever would, Changbin had never revealed his secret to Chris. It wasn’t until they moved to their den, until Chris had become Changbin’s pack alpha, that he finally shared his secret with Chris.

When Changbin was on his own, when he didn’t have to put up a façade, he yearned of being pampered, of being taken care of, something so not alpha-like he had kept it hidden so deep within him he almost couldn’t believe when the words came out of his mouth as he confessed it to Chris. Changbin had half expected Chris to laugh at him, to judge him–even though logically he knew Chris would never do something like that to him, not when he was being this serious about the topic discussed–but Chris had simply stared back at him, offering a ‘huh, interesting. Never thought an alpha could have omega urges, but I guess it doesn’t sound crazy either’.

Omega urges, as soon as those words left Chris’ mouth Changbin had recoiled, mostly out of reflex. But seeing no judgement in Chris’ eyes as he said it, Changbin started to realise that was exactly what it was. Changbin was an alpha. His scent was that of an alpha, and he behaved much like an alpha most of the time, but deep down, there was a bit of an omega in him, and the moment he understood that, he was finally able to accept himself–or at least, to cope with the fact, acceptance was probably something that would come in due time.

Even after he accepted that fact, though, he still kept it hidden, as his little secret that only he and the alpha of his pack knew. Changbin never really told his packmates either, nor did he ever tell any partner he had ever had–not that he had had that many, to be honest. Whenever he was in a relationship he behaved as an alpha, something that he thought he didn’t mind much, but as his relationships kept on failing and failing because something was never right, he realised it did matter. Yet, he never had the guts to fully show himself to anyone he was intimate with, turning instead to hookups and one night stands to fulfil his physical needs when necessary.

Eventually, though, that stopped, too, after the first scare he had. It was hard for a werewolf to get drunk, their metabolism was much faster than that of humans for alcohol in moderate amounts to do anything to them. Unless, of course, they consumed an ungodly amount of spirits crafted specifically for his kind in a very short period of time. Changbin couldn’t even remember how much he drank that day, but he did remember the fact that his judgement was completely clouded, enough to hook up with someone without protection of any kind, without knowing if the other person was clean or not, and the moment he woke up the next day he was scared shitless.

Thankfully–after a mild scolding–Chris and his roommate went with him to one of those pop-up clinics to get checked, both even testing themselves, too, giving him much needed emotional support, even when he finally came up clean after.

So Changbin decided then to stop seeking any physical relief altogether, turning instead to the gym to relieve stress and focusing on his job and any pack matters that they had to deal with, which were already enough of a task on their own. Chris’ pack grew quickly–maybe quicker than they had anticipated. At first, it was only the three of them, Chris, Changbin, and Jisung, but throughout their entire university studies more of their friends joined, finally forming a tight pack of eight.

At the very early stages of their pack, maintaining order was tough, with only Chris as their leader and Changbin as his right hand to organise the rest of them, until Minho joined them and quickly became Chris’ left hand. And eventually, Chris’ roommate came into the picture. A human. A human they had invited to live in their den by sheer chance, a human that, after finding out about their condition, after understanding the bond between pack members, had naturally fallen into the position of pack mum, even when she wasn’t even romantically involved with Chris in any way–although eventually she did get involved romantically with Chris, something that shocked absolutely no one in the pack, considering how painfully obvious Chris’ feelings were, how painfully obvious her feelings were…

Regardless, with the four of them as the foundation of their pack, it became easy to deal with pack matters. They could rely on one another without hesitation, so as the weight of their responsibilities distributed among the four of them, Changbin didn’t have to excessively worry about pack matters anymore. Which meant that most of his stress came from his job.

When Changbin had decided on a whim ages ago to study computer science he didn’t expect it to be difficult, and, to be honest, his journey through university wasn’t any more difficult than anyone else’s, so he was able to graduate within the expected time, with an added extra year to specialise in network engineering. The difficult aspect of his profession came when he actually started to work in the field. People who work in IT weren’t exactly liked within their companies. End users liked to complain about things they didn’t know about, and even when he politely explained in the simplest way he could why something wasn't as easy as they claimed it to be, they always said he simply didn’t want to help and called him names.

This was something Changbin had to deal with on the regular, which wasn’t usually a problem, but it wasn’t exactly pleasant to deal with. Funnily enough, though, there was no worse enemy to someone working in the IT department of a company than another person who was also working in the IT department. This was something Changbin came to understand during his many different jobs in many different companies, but it was especially true in the company he was working for right now.

Having your IT services in-house these days wasn’t a common occurrence, but this particular office wanted to keep things simple, to keep everything ‘within the family’, so around a year ago, Changbin was hired as their network engineer. He was excited for the job position, it’d pay well and the company wasn’t so bad. That excitement almost died on his first day on the job, when he was introduced to one of the IT coordinators of the building.

He had been called to a room for his first IT department meeting, and the second he stepped through the door of the meeting room he was hit with the scent of nutmeg and ginger, a scent he had not smelt in years, since high school, the scent that to this day he’d dream about sometimes–although he’d never say that outloud. And sure enough, the moment Changbin had followed the trail of the scent he was greeted with your surprised eyes looking back at him.

So when the meeting ended, Changbin had reached out to you. You had politely greeted him, introducing yourself as the IT coordinator and offered a ‘hopefully things go smoothly moving forward’. A long time had passed since you two had last seen each other, so surely things had changed, surely you could be amicable with one another.

How wrong he had been. 

You were still the same, only more mature–and more beautiful, but Changbin wouldn’t let himself admit that. You were still the same opinionated, bossy omega he had come to know in school, and as months went by, he realised you were one of those IT coordinators that liked to be on top of everything, sometimes too much, getting your nose in other people’s business, in his business.

The very next day you had come to Changbin with an absurd proposition, a way to better monitor the network in the building, Changbin couldn’t help but notice how your scent was again almost hidden under Hyunwoo’s earthy scent, a complete contrast to how it had been the day prior, but he decided to ignore it, focusing on the impossible idea you had suggested to him based on some end user complaints you had received.

And maybe it was the fact that Changbin was almost wired to bicker with you at this point, but at the time he couldn’t help but scoff, offering an admittedly condescending ‘that’s not gonna work’ that had you scoffing as well, effectively reigniting the rivalry that had started since the very first day you met. 

It went like this for a while, you offering ideas that Changbin would shut down, Changbin proposing changes that you would be against. However, sometimes, when you two did agree on some points, you were actually able to work on a project together pretty well, with minimal eventualities.

You wouldn’t interact with Changbin outside of work, though. And not because Changbin didn’t make any attempts. He had invited you for drinks a few times, to celebrate the success of a finished project–usually inviting other people as well–but you always declined, alleging you had things to do as soon as work was over. There were no other werewolves in the office, so no one really questioned it, but Changbin knew your ‘things to do’ were probably related to your pack.

One day the department decided to go together for drinks after work, and surprisingly, you accepted. Changbin and you had naturally drifted to each other to talk that night, after all, you did share your condition. And admittedly, when you were not being stubborn and overly questioning of his job, you were okay to talk with, nice, even. So Changbin thought that night would mark the end of your pseudo-feud.

You didn’t go to work the next couple of days after that, and Changbin thought nothing of it, until you came back the following week. There was something off about you that week, you’d talk and interact in meetings, dealing with agreements and disagreements with one another, but outside of those, it was almost as if you were avoiding him, and every week after that it was almost as if he could barely catch your scent at all, only getting whiffs of Hyunwoo whenever you passed by.

But Changbin never really thought too much about it, he figured you were just mad at him for the last few meetings you had had where there had been disagreements between the engineers and the project managers and IT coordinators, so he simply let it be, just as he always did. 

Until one day, he couldn’t just let it be anymore.

Changbin was fond of rainy days like these, especially after a long day at work. He already had a plan in his mind for the evening, brew himself some tea, play a lighthearted movie on the huge-ass TV he just got for his living room, and ultimately become one with his sofa. It was the perfect plan, and he had been looking forward to this since the second he stepped out of the office that day.

The kettle whistled, letting him know his water was ready, so he went through the familiar motions of serving himself some tea. Whole milk, two sugars, exactly how Changbin loved it, he had even used his favourite cup with its matching plate–a basic white ensemble, but the shape and depth of it was just exquisite. With lazy steps, he took his perfect cup of tea to the coffee table, setting it on the coaster he always kept there for this purpose, and it was just as he was about to let his bum hit the heavenly cushions of his sofa that a loud, hurried knocking resonated throughout his flat.

Changbin’s right eye twitched, feeling annoyance build and build rapidly within him the more the person on the other side knocked. Who dared have the audacity of disturbing his peace? He had been so close to getting his perfect evening, all of that now just ruined, flushed down the toilet with those relentless knocks. So he made his way to the front door, completely fuming. Who would be on the other side of the door? Jeongin? Jisung? Felix? He could hardly register the scent when he was this mad.

“What the fu–” Changbin’s words died on his tongue, his annoyed frown quickly disappearing as his eyebrows shot up in surprise. Out of all the people he could’ve imagined would be standing behind that door, you were not the one he would’ve ever expected to see. Especially not in the state you were in.

Chewing your lip nervously you just looked at Changbin, your hand holding the strap of the rucksack you carried on your back so tightly your knuckles were turning white. Changbin blinked slightly, still shocked. “What are you… What are you doing here?”

“I…” You shifted your weight from one foot to the other. The longer Changbin looked at you, the longer you stood there, he started to get whiffs of your scent, that scent he hadn’t smelt for weeks now, since it was usually hidden under your alpha’s scent. He was used to your scent, but right now, as you stood there, something didn’t feel quite right… It felt… Different, somehow. More distressed. “I didn’t know where else to go, to be honest…”

Changbin just stared at you. Were you… Were you shaking? You were soaking wet for sure, the rain certainly had done a number on you. The more he got that distressed scent, the more he looked at you shivering there at his doorstep, he just couldn’t help his alpha instincts from kicking in. Regardless of how much Changbin didn’t like you–because he didn’t like you, not even a little bit–he just couldn’t leave you right there when you looked so defeated. So he stepped to the side, signalling you to come in.

As soon as you stepped through the threshold he closed the door, leaving you taking your shoes off by the entrance as he made his way towards the bathroom to find a clean towel. When he returned to the living room you were just standing there, looking around, still shaking like a leaf and holding onto your rucksack for dear life. 

“You can just leave that anywhere”, Changbin pointed to your rucksack, and you just dropped it on the floor right there where you were standing. “Here”, handing you the towel, he took the rucksack and put it next to a dining chair so neither of you would trip on it.

Changbin had seen you in so many different moods throughout the years. Playful, teasing, fuming, annoyed… But this… Whatever it was, was something that completely caught him off guard, so much so he couldn’t stop looking at you as you tried your best to squeeze water out of your hair. 

“What are you doing here?” He asked again, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked at you.

You took a deep breath, wrapping the towel over your shoulders and keeping it close to your body. “Do you mind if I… If I sit?” you pointed towards one of the stools by the kitchen island, to what Changbin simply nodded, his eyes following your every move.

“Changbin, could you… Not look at me? You’re close to using the predator stare and it’s not making it any easier for me to talk”, was he using the predator stare? Changbin hadn’t even realised, it was probably because he was angry when he opened the door, which he immediately explained to you and apologised for, to which you simply nodded. He cleared his throat, looking away from you then, and going into the kitchen, switching the kettle on again. 

After a few moments of silence you spoke again. “I… I ran away from my pack”.

Changbin almost dropped the cup in his hand, his eyes going wide in surprise, almost bulging out of his skull. “You did what?!”

Swallowing thickly, and contradicting your earlier request, you seeked his gaze. “I ran away from my pack–”

“I heard you, okay… Shit, why would you do that and why are you here?”

“I told you! I didn’t know where else to go!” You were still trembling slightly, still holding onto the corners of the towel wrapped around your shoulders, but even then you still spoke to him in that tone of yours that sometimes made his eye twitch. “I don’t know any other werewolf outside the pack and I know it’s nuts that I’m here, okay? I’m aware…” Bringing your hands to your face, you inhaled deeply only to exhale right after. Once, twice, thrice… Were you… Were you trying to calm yourself down?

“Listen, I…” Once you removed your hands from your face you looked at him, right in the eyes. “I left because I was being mistreated, okay? It’s… I’ve been abused for years and I… I couldn’t stand it anymore”.

Changbin recoiled slightly, this was a turn of events he would’ve never expected, and he immediately felt concern flooding him. “I’m… I’m sorry, I had no idea–”

“Of course you had no idea!” You spat, and Changbin’s eyes went wide, stunned as he saw tears well in your eyes. “No one knows… No one knows how Hyunwoo runs his pack, no one dares speak about it so of course… Of course you don’t know”.

Curse his alpha instincts, Changbin just couldn’t bear seeing the tears run down your eyes, he couldn’t bear smelling the distress in your scent, so he moved around the kitchen island, reaching for you. “Listen–” To his horror, you flinched as soon as his hands were on you, so he removed them immediately.

“Please, don’t touch me right now…” There was a sob, there was a sob and it broke him. Suddenly whichever pseudo-feud Changbin had with you didn’t matter, this was serious shit.

“I’m sorry”, was all he could say, whether it was for approaching you so suddenly or because of your situation, Changbin wasn’t too sure.

You simply shook your head, bringing your hands to your face once again and you continued to sob. “I don’t know what to do…” Your voice was barely a whisper, but Changbin could hear you, and the feelings your distress evoked in him were not pleasant at all. 

“You… Listen, first, you need to warm up…” Changbin moved, reaching for the already boiled water and serving you a cup of tea. “You can… You can cry all you want. If it helps you, cry”.

And you did. You cried a lot. For a while, actually. And Changbin didn’t know what to do. He just sat there next to you on the kitchen island, moving either to bring you a dry towel or to leave a glass of water next to you. His mind was racing as he waited for you to calm down, he really didn’t know much about Hyunwoo’s pack, just that he became the alpha right before you finished school and that you were a member of the pack, but just by the way you flinched when Changbin tried to touch you, it was clear something messed up was happening in there.

Once you managed to stop crying, you reached for that glass of water, dawned it in one go and took a hold of the corner of the towel to ungracefully blow your nose. “This is so messy, I’m sorry”.

“It’s… It’s fine”, and as Changbin said it, he realised it was. You guys didn’t get along, at least not frequently, but this was a much bigger issue than that. “Do you even have a place to stay?”

You shook your head. “I just… Left. I put anything of value in that rucksack and left. I don’t want to get too into detail right now, to be honest, but I had to leave today or it would’ve been over for me”.

Changbin nodded, understanding. He had to make a decision now. You had nowhere else to go, and he couldn’t just leave you on the streets on your own to deal with the distress of leaving your pack and dealing with your abuse at the same time. So he took a deep breath, dragging his hands over his face briefly only to look at you after. “Listen, I gotta talk to Chris–You remember Chris, right?” You nodded, so he continued. “For now you can just… Take a warm shower, change into some dry clothes and we can talk when I’m back. Do you even have clothes in that rucksack?”

“Yeah, just a few shirts and trousers… I couldn’t… Most of my clothes were scented so I decided not to take them”, ah, so Hyunwoo was purposefully scenting your clothes, no wonder Changbin could smell him on you all the time.

“Alright. The bathroom is that way, first door on the left. I’ll be back in a bit”, and then, as an attempt to lift the mood, he added, “don’t steal anything from me while I’m gone”.

To which you simply huffed a chuckle, wiping the tears on your face.

The further away Changbin walked from his flat the more he felt his mind spiralling out of control. What the fuck was he going to do with you? It was all nuts, so by the time he reached Chris’ flat he was almost in full panic mode.

Changbin started to knock on Chris’ door, very fervently and incessantly. A few moments of this passed, until the door opened slightly, enough for Chris to peek his face and look at him, annoyance very clear in his face. “We’re fucking, what do you want?”

Of course they were fucking, when were Chris and his girlfriend not fucking. “Sorry, man, but I really need to talk”.

“Can’t it wait like… Two hours?”

“Two hours?!” Changbin shrieked. “No it cannot wait two fucking hours! It’s really urgent!”

Chris sighed, turning his gaze away from Changbin and into his flat, to look at his girlfriend, Changbin supposed. After a few seconds, he turned back to Changbin. “Fine, give me a few minutes”, was the last thing Chris told him before closing the door, leaving Changbin waiting there in the corridor as he chewed his lip nervously.

When Chris opened the door again, he was wearing nothing but his shorts–admittedly not an uncommon sight, so Changbin was completely unfazed by this. “What’s going on?” Chris asked as he made his way into the kitchen and started to put away some items that were scattered on the counter.

Changbin tried his best to ignore the scent of sex and the lingering pheromones in the air, but it was too strong and distracting to ignore. “Dude, were you guys fucking right here?” 

“On the sofa”, Chris shrugged, like it was nothing.

“We sit on that sofa for movie nights, Christopher…”

“And?” Chris snorted. “Didn’t take you for a prude, Changbinnie. Plus, there’s nowhere on this flat we haven’t fucked on”, he slammed his hand on the kitchen counter for emphasis. “Nowhere”, Changbin looked at the counter and immediately removed his hands, making an act to gag, to which Chris simply chuckled. “But anyway, what do you need to talk about?”

“I, uh… Need your advice…” Chris shot Changbin a look, his eyes scanning his face for a moment only to go back to his task and gesture for him to continue. “You remember that girl from work? The one I talk about sometimes?” Changbin moved to sit on one of the stools.

“The omega that drives you absolutely insane? That went to school with us? Yeah, I remember”.

“She came to my door twenty minutes ago… She ran away from her pack”.

Chris froze on the spot, a bag of mini brownies crunching slightly in his hold as his fist tightened, his eyes snapping up to meet Changbin’s, wide in surprise. “Why’d she… Why did she come to you?” He placed the bag back on the counter, moving around to pull out one of the stools and sitting in front of Changbin, giving him his undivided attention.

Changbin simply shrugged. “She said I’m the only other werewolf she knows outside of her pack, but I… I’m not sure what to do. She has nowhere else to go…”

Chris’ fingers drummed on the counter as he pondered. “You want her to stay here?”

Changbin shrugged. “I guess, I don’t know… Is there any other option?”

Chris eyed him for a bit. “Is she a good person? I haven’t seen her since school”.

Were you? Were you a good person? Changbin was used to bickering and getting into petty arguments with you, you got on his nerves more than he would like to admit. However… When you weren’t addressing him, Changbin had seen the other side of you, the friendly, and supportive side of you. And, admittedly, when you two were able to work without arguments, he had experienced that directly, too.

“I think… She might be. We argue all the time, but to other people she��s… Fine, I guess…”

“Who’s fine?” Chris’ girlfriend appeared from the hall, using a towel to squeeze water out of her hair.

“Changbin’s brought in a guest”, Chris’ eyes followed her, just like they always did and Changbin couldn’t help but roll his eyes and smile fondly at the sight.

“Oh? A guest guest? You want someone to stay?” She regarded Changbin with a smile, busying herself with the rest of the items left on the counter, putting them away into their designated place in the kitchen.

“She’s a fri–” A what? A friend? You and Changbin were certainly not friends, so he corrected himself immediately. “A coworker…”

Changbin filled Chris’ girlfriend in with the details, by the time he was done she was standing in front of where Chris sat, slotted between his legs, as his arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her to him, resting his chin on her shoulder. 

“Basically what I’m trying to say is, do you think it’s a good idea for her to stay?” Changbin asked, fidgeting with a random twist tie he found on the kitchen counter. 

Chris eyed him for a moment, until he finally spoke again. “You do know this is your building, right?” A smirk crept onto his lips as he looked at Changbin, and it made him let out an exasperated sigh. 

“Correction, it’s my parents’ building, and you’re our alpha for crying out loud, you should have the last word on who stays in the den or not”.

“Are you hoping I’ll say no?” The question was pointed, and it almost made Changbin wince.

Changbin stayed silent for a moment, only to finally move his eyes from Chris to his girlfriend. “What do you think?”

She simply shrugged, her hands absentmindedly caressing Chris’ arms around her waist. “No werewolf leaves their pack just like that, right? From what I’ve read and what you’ve told me it’s a hard thing to do, even physically painful… If she’s done that, something serious must’ve happened… I don’t see why she shouldn’t stay, at least for tonight. We could meet her tomorrow once she’s rested and you two can reach an agreement then”, with her last sentence, she pointed to Chris and Changbin.

“I agree. Unless you don’t want me to even consider it at all. Then I’ll just say no”, Chris gave Changbin a look. He always wanted what was best for his packmates, and that sometimes meant making them make their own decisions and supporting said decisions. Which sucked for Changbin, because now he truly had to make a decision.

After his talk with Chris and his girlfriend, Changbin went back to his flat to find you already showered and in dry clothes sitting on his sofa, hugging your legs to your chest. Your face snapped in his direction as soon as he was in your field of vision, and Changbin literally saw the exact second your body tensed up when he started to walk in your direction, hugging your legs tighter against your chest.

Dropping himself on the other end of the sofa, Changbin simply switched on the TV, he figured some background noise would help the awkward aura that had settled in the living room. So, he took a deep breath–trying his best to ignore the way your scent almost shocked his senses–and looked at you. “You can stay here tonight, but tomorrow you’ll have to talk with Chris directly. He wants to meet you in person before he decides if you can stay or not”.

You looked at him, blinking slightly, looking almost shocked. “What?”

“What do you mean ‘what’?”

“You’re… You’re offering me shelter?” You sounded truly incredulous, which in turn made him feel confused.

“Why are you here if not for shelter?”

You just continued to look at him, your eyes jumping around his face for a bit, until finally, you swallowed. “I… I didn’t… Changbin, I truly have no idea what I’m doing here. I just… Started walking, and next thing I knew I was here. I feel so numb right now, I don’t even know what’s going on”.

Changbin figured you could be in shock, so he decided to make the decision for you. “Okay… Let’s do this, you can stay here tonight, rest, get your bearings, and we can talk more about it tomorrow, okay?”

You just stared at him for a bit, until Changbin saw tears well in your eyes, but only for a second, as you brought your hands to your face right after. “Okay…” Your voice was barely a whisper, but Changbin heard you. There was a shift in your scent, it wasn’t exactly distress as before, but it wasn’t entirely pleasant either, more like a tint of defeat and hurt.

Shifting a bit in his seat, Changbin couldn’t help the words that came out of his mouth after. “Do you… Do you want a hug?”

You were silent for a bit, just crying as you shielded your face with your hands. Changbin thought for a moment you might’ve not heard him, until you finally nodded, with the tiniest ‘yes…’ falling from your lips. So Changbin moved as slowly and carefully as he could to not startle you, moving to sit next to you and pull you into his arms, tucking your head in the crook of his neck.

You were slightly trembling, but you let him pull you to him, and to Changbin’s surprise, one of your hands moved away from your face to clutch his shirt as you continued to cry.

The third re-run of The Mummy that week playing on the TV and the pitter-patter of rain against the windows were the only background noises in the flat, mingling with the occasional hiccup or sob leaving your lips. And Changbin couldn’t help but try to make it better somehow. “Shh… It’s okay. You’ll be okay, pup”.

Changbin hugged you for as long as you needed, the occasional word of encouragement leaving his lips, and eventually, you simply fell asleep right then and there in his arms.

“Hey! Nice to meet you!” Hyunjin had a bright smile on his face as he opened the door of Chris’ flat once Changbin knocked on it.

The night before, after you fell asleep and Changbin tucked you into bed in his spare room, he had quickly texted Chris about your kind of shocked state and for him to expect some odd behaviours from you when he met you, to which Chris suggested that maybe having another omega in the house at the time along with his girlfriend could help. So here Hyunjin was, with a showercap on his head and his apple and pear scent mingling with the unpleasant smell of hair bleach radiating from the showercap.

“Come on in, we’re having a selfcare day”, Hyunjin signalled you and Changbin to come in just as he stepped further into the flat, leaving you two by the open door.

You shot Changbin a look, lightly worrying your lip with your teeth, to which he simply gave you a brief pat on the shoulder and a nod. Selfcare days weren’t an uncommon practice, they usually happened in Hyunjin and Felix’s flat, but Changbin figured Chris thought it would be a good idea to settle a more relaxed aura around him, in hopes of easing your nerves a bit.

“Pretty, stop moving so much”, Chris’ giggling voice could be heard as soon as Changbin and you stepped through the door, and once Changbin stole a glance your way he could see your eyes go wide in surprise as you saw the alpha of his pack right there, sitting on his sofa with his girlfriend’s hand in one hand and a brush on the other as he tried to paint her nails.

“You’re taking too long, baby!” Chris’ girlfriend was holding the bottle of nail varnish for Chris to keep dipping the brush into, smiling fondly at the man in front of her as he did his absolute best to not make a mess of her hands.

“Selfcare day and you didn’t explicitly invite me? I’m hurt”, Changbin couldn’t help but joke, clutching his chest dramatically as he walked further into the living room. Chris simply huffed a ‘you were coming anyway’ before he greeted you with a big smile on his face, one of his genuine smiles that made his eyes disappear. Chris was already an overall welcoming person, but when he smiled like this, that feeling heightened tenfold, and Changbin immediately felt you relax a bit where you were standing next to him.

Changbin introduced you to Chris’ girlfriend as well, and in no time all of you were sitting around their coffee table as Hyunjin brought tea from the kitchen.

“You’ve grown so much”, Changbin was surprised when those words left your mouth as you addressed Chris, the comment making him laugh immediately, offering a ‘so have you!’ in response.

It was all smooth sailing from there. You seemed to quickly realise that the dynamic of Changbin’s pack was completely different from whatever dynamic your former pack had, so you loosened up a bit, and Changbin could practically smell how much less stressed you were, which was reassuring in a way–although why he had to feel reassured about that in the first place was beyond him.

Chris asked you for a few details, you simply answered the same way you had to Changbin the day before, that you were being mistreated but didn’t want to get too much into detail because, in your words, ‘I honestly just don’t want to start weeping as soon as the words leave my mouth… Need to… Digest it all first’, which Chris seemed to wholeheartedly understand. 

Chris shot Changbin a look, almost as if he wanted to ask him ‘are you sure you don’t want me to say no?’ to which Changbin gave him a minute nod of his head. Something about having grown up together and lived together for so long made it easy for them to communicate wordlessly, and it became even easier after Changbin became Chris’ right hand in the pack, so, after taking a deep breath, Chris simply said, “you can stay here if you want”.

Your eyes went wide in surprise, but before you could say anything, Chris continued. “Although I must warn you, bills really are expensive as shit here. If you can afford it yourself, great. If you can’t, I suggest rooming with someone. I tried on my own, didn’t work. Now I’ve got a lovely roommate and girlfriend, though, so I guess I won anyway”, he reached to pinch one of his girlfriend’s cheeks as he said it, which made her laugh.

A smile formed on your face at the sight, it was small, but it was there and it might’ve been the reason why Changbin spoke his next words. “You can stay with me if you want. We can split the bills”.

You seemed to ponder for a bit, just as Hyunjin left the room to go wash his head with Chris’ girlfriend’s help. Finally, you just nodded. “I think that’s a good idea”.

“I think so, too”, Chris said confidently.

“Is there… Anything in particular I should be aware of regarding omegas in the pack?” 

Chris looked at you for a moment, blinking slightly. “I mean… No? We don’t… Honestly, our designation hardly ever influences anything here. If anything, the only rule is to treat everyone with respect, and help out when someone needs it… And we all chime in to pay the communal bills of the building, that’s pretty much it”.

You seemed slightly taken aback by that, a tiny ‘oh…’ leaving your lips as you readjusted yourself in your seat. There was one thing Chris forgot, though, so Changbin added it for him. “Also make sure you inform the group chat when you think you might be going into heat or when you do go into heat… There’s a couple of flats on this floor we use to, uh… Lock ourselves in for those days if we need to”.

“Oh, that, too”, Chris nodded. “Also, if it makes you feel more comfortable, you don’t necessarily need to think of us as your ‘new pack’. These things take time, yeah? So let’s see it as just childhood friends helping each other out, we’ll see how it goes in the future”.

“Sounds… Reasonable… Thank you. Truly”, and Changbin could really hear the thankfulness in your voice.

Just like that, you became Changbin’s roommate. A roommate he wasn’t even looking for, and that he didn’t even need, but as you both made it back to his flat, he realised he didn’t mind all that much.

Changbin had been living on his own for so long he had forgotten how it was like to share his space with someone else. He was wary at first, because he wasn’t sure how you would be outside of your work or school persona, maybe you’d try to move things around to your liking, or maybe you’d be messy and loud and annoying. But the truth was, for the first few days of you being there, Changbin barely even saw you, which was kind of odd considering you decided to take a couple of weeks off of work to deal with your situation, so you definitely were in the house.

You mostly kept to your room, coming out only for food or to go to the bathroom, and whenever you did that when Changbin was there, he could always see the bags under your eyes and the redness from all the crying he supposed you had been doing. He could smell your scent, too, your usual nutmeg and ginger mingling with pure defeat, which, again, wasn’t pleasant at all. He truly hated that you were feeling defeated in the first place, and he truly wished he could make it better somehow.

Eventually, you started to come out more. Changbin would come home from work and find you on the sofa, curled up in a ball, wrapped in blankets with your eyes glued to the TV. There was always food on the stove, which you offered as soon as Changbin came through the door without removing your eyes from the big screen.

Those times, Changbin would simply sit down with you on the sofa, telling you stories about the office, whichever IT mess had been going on that day, essentially having an amicable conversation with you, something that, after a while, made Changbin wonder why you would get prickly with him in the first place before all this happened, so he asked exactly that one day.

“I…” You gulped, then took a sip of the tea in your hand. “I was doing it on purpose”.

Changbin looked at you, confused. “On purpose?”

“Mm”, you moved your eyes from his face back to the TV, tapping your fingers lightly on the mug in your hands. “You’re too friendly sometimes, and I couldn’t let you get too close to me or Hyunwoo would… I mean, he didn’t like it when I got close to other men, much less alpha males”.

You said that statement like it was normal, like you had accepted that to be your fate at the time, and it made Changbin’s blood boil right there where he sat. Suddenly, he remembered… “The night we went out for drinks… You didn’t come to work for a few days after, was it because… I had been talking to you?”

Looking down at the mug in your hands, you nodded with a grimace on your face. “He… Accused me of a lot of things that night. Things that were not true, obviously, and he made it a point to scent me as much as he could in… In ways I don’t even want to describe, honestly. Can we talk about something else?”

Changbin did drop the topic completely that day, but it plagued his mind for a long time. Sure, there was a level of possessiveness to their alpha nature, but it was never supposed to be like this. It was never supposed to overpower their protective nature, above all else, an alpha should take care of their partner both physically and emotionally, they should protect them, it was one of the few alpha traits Changbin was actually proud of having, and this man Hyunwoo had it all twisted and the fact that he had hurt you because of it angered him beyond belief.

Changbin did offer once–although mostly as a half-joke–to go beat him up, to which you simply said ‘If anything, I’ll try to get strong enough so I can beat him up. That’d be more satisfactory. But honestly, I’d much rather pretend he didn’t exist’, so Changbin tried to never speak about Hyunwoo again after that.

You eventually went back to work, got back into your routine, only now you wouldn’t avoid him at all, if anything, you remained somewhat close and friendly. Sure, you still defied his proposals when you had to, and Changbin defied yours when he had to, but it was mostly amicable, nowhere near as hostile as before.

You confessed to Changbin one day that you had even started to go to therapy to try and cope with everything, and he couldn’t help but commend you on taking such an important step in your healing process. 

Soon enough, you got acquainted with his friends, you started to join them for movie nights, for selfcare days, and eventually, before Changbin even realised it, you had flooded his life, with your presence, with your scent… Your scent… That mix of nutmeg and ginger, that mix that had become so familiar, so… Alluring, in a way. He’d be caught dead before admitting that to you, though, but that was certainly the best way he could put it. Alluring. Like freshly baked cookies, and he quickly realised he didn’t mind it one bit.

Changbin was truly fond of rainy days like these, especially now that he had a companion to spend them with. At first, you both would only sit down on your corner of the sofa and watch some mindless film, sometimes you would play the occasional board game–although Changbin quickly discovered you got a bit too… Enthusiastic, to not say aggressive, so the board games were quickly removed from the routine. 

Gradually, though, you started to gravitate towards each other. Changbin wasn’t even sure how it happened, really. Sitting on your corner of the sofa became sitting closer to the centre, until eventually your shoulders started to touch, your thighs grazing against each other, providing some warmth during the colder days. One day, you had your arm tossed over the back of the sofa, almost, almost on Changbin’s shoulders… You were really engrossed in the series you were watching, Changbin wasn’t really paying much attention to it, he was just slouched on the plush cushions, scrolling on his phone and then suddenly, he felt it.

Your eyes were trained on the TV, and you were chewing your lip as a particularly stressful situation was happening in the show you were watching, so when your fingers found their way to Changbin’s hair, mindlessly playing with it, Changbin was more than startled by the sudden contact, but, at the same time, he realised he liked it, so he didn’t say anything, instead he just let himself enjoy your touch, your soft caresses against his scalp, and it wasn’t until the episode had finished that you realised what you were doing, quickly removing your hand from his head and mumbling apologies.

“Shit, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to–”

“I don’t mind”, Changbin interrupted you, the words left his mouth probably way too fast, heat quickly making its way to the back of his neck as he cleared his throat. “It’s fine, you can… You can do that. I really don’t mind”.

Changbin saw your slightly stunned expression, your eyes moving away from his face just the tiniest bit as the next episode of your show started to play. When you looked at him again, you gulped, blinking slightly. “Do you want to… I mean it’d be easier if you… You know, lay your head on my lap or… Yeah, otherwise my arm will get tired, you know?”

Changbin looked at you for a few bated breaths, until he tentatively complied, relishing the warmth of your thighs and your tender touch on his hair as you continued to watch the show. 

From then on, the space between Changbin and you on that sofa after work became nonexistent. Him laying his head on your lap quickly turned to him laying on your stomach, to him even laying on top of you sometimes, resting his head on your chest as you mindlessly massaged his scalp, his shoulders, his back, his arms. You never really spoke about it, it just sort of… Happened, and you both let it happen.

Changbin simply had convinced himself this was an entirely platonic exchange, just two acquaintances enjoying some warmth as you quietly wound down from your stressful day. Although he did know it was kind of weird, he was well aware. Cuddling with your coworker turned roommate this closely surely wasn’t normal, yet neither you nor him would stop it. Changbin wasn’t sure why you didn’t, as for himself, he just absolutely loved to cuddle… To cuddle with you.

He loved hearing your heart beating against his ear, he loved the feel of your hands on him, he loved the nutmeg and ginger of your scent flooding his senses, and it wasn’t until a few weeks after the entire thing started that he realised this could potentially hurt him deeply. It happened in an instant, just as you both laid on the sofa, him on top of you, your hand mindlessly caressing his nape, his face buried in the crook of your neck, and suddenly, he got an urge. Changbin wanted to place a kiss on your neck, he’d gotten so used to being this close to you without any restraint that he had almost done it, but he managed to stop himself.

Cuddling was one thing, kissing… Kissing felt like it could become too much, too quickly, so he buried that urge deep within him, pulling himself away from you entirely with the excuse of wanting to make dinner. You didn’t question him, of course. You never questioned any of Changbin’s actions when you were in this type of mood, so he thought he was in the clear. It had probably just been a fluke, something instinctual that would naturally happen when he was so close to your neck.

Oh, but he had been so wrong. That urge he tried to bury deep within his heart quickly grew legs, dancing all around the place as if it owned it, mocking him. Changbin wanted to have his lips on your skin, the thought quickly mingled into him wanting to have his hands on your skin, into him wanting to have your lips on his skin, and before he knew it, he was down bad and it was too late.

It wasn’t appropriate, was it? You were his coworker, his roommate, his friend, and it wasn’t appropriate to think about a friend that way, he was sure, especially considering the things you had been through–although you did tell him you were making progress with your therapy, good progress, which Changbin was really happy about, but that didn’t mean it made it okay. So Changbin tried his best to ignore it all, to pretend those urges and feelings weren’t there, indulging only in your cuddling, and only when you wanted it–because there was no way he could give that up now, not when you seemed to also enjoy it as much as he did.

Until one day, you didn’t let him ignore the elephant in the room anymore.

“Do you think it’s weird?” You suddenly asked, startling him slightly, your hand in his hair not stopping its movements.

Changbin tensed slightly, but he decided to play aloof. Afterall, he wasn’t really sure what you were truly referring to. “That what’s weird?”

“This”, you tugged on his hair gently, and Changbin had to use every single ounce of willpower to not make any obscene sounds. “The way we cuddle”.

‘The way we cuddle’, that was your answer. It wasn’t ‘that we cuddle’, but specifically the way you both cuddled. And Changbin couldn’t help but prop himself on his elbows to look at your face, making you move your hand away from his head. “In which way are we cuddling, pup?”

“Well, you know…” You gulped, and Changbin could’ve sworn you were looking at his mouth. “It’s mostly… Me kinda… Kinda doting on you. Not the other way around”.

Changbin blinked slightly, and he couldn’t help the feeling of dread that was starting to build within him. “Uh… Yeah. It’s you doting on me, yes”, Changbin gulped the saliva that collected in his mouth, nervousness suddenly flooding his brain.

“You’re an alpha”, there was no ill-intent in your voice, none at all, yet the words struck Changbin’s heart, and suddenly he couldn’t bear looking at your face anymore, feeling as heat quickly made its way to his face as he scrambled to remove himself from you entirely. He saw the alarm on your face, but honestly he could barely register it as he swiftly got to his feet and tried to get as far away from that sofa as possible.

“Bin? Why are you–”

He couldn’t have this conversation. He’d only truly ever had it with Chris, and he wasn’t sure he could have it with you right now. Changbin had indulged, and for a few months he had experienced something he had always craved, but just as he had expected, it couldn’t be as simple as that. You’re an alpha, you’re an alpha, you’re an alpha, the words repeated in his mind incessantly, making it hard for him to hear anything else other than them.

“Changbin, wait!”

Changbin slammed his bedroom door shut, pressing his back to it and bringing his hands to his head as he felt tears well in his eyes. Changbin was an alpha. It was wrong of him to crave these things. It was weird and wrong and unnatural, he was weird and wrong and unnatural.

There was a knock on his door, tentative, shy, almost. “I’m… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you…” Oh, God. You sounded genuinely hurt, and he hated it. Why were you hurt? Why were you apologising? He was the fucked up one, and the second he got a whiff of your scent, even with the door that separated you two, he could just feel how distressed you were, and he realised then that you could probably also smell how distressed he was, which made everything just so much worse.

You stayed behind his door for a while, for a long while. All as Changbin let himself cry in silence out of the pure frustration he felt, until he eventually calmed down. By that point, though, you had already left, retreating to your room.

Changbin avoided you like the plague after that encounter, at home, at work, opting out of movie nights with the pack, he’d try his absolute best to not cross paths with you. Mostly out of shame, out of the sheer embarrassment he knew he would feel the moment you found out about his hidden flaw.

Server rooms were always too loud. And if it was loud to a human, it was even worse for a werewolf. Changbin always felt as if he was trapped in a tin can with the most obnoxious cricket whenever he came down here to check the switches, but he couldn’t neglect his job just because of his supernatural capabilities, so here he was, tinkering with the damn thing to try and figure out why the network in the third floor was down.

He would like to blame that loudness in the room shocking his senses for the fact that he hadn’t noticed a person coming into the room. Changbin didn’t notice them, until suddenly he got a whiff of nutmeg and ginger and turned around with wide eyes to find you already staring at him, your brows furrowing in concern.

“You can’t keep avoiding me”, your tone was firm, stern, even. “We live together, we work together… We can’t continue playing cat and mouse, Changbin. I need you to tell me what I did wrong”.

Changbin looked you in the eyes, and you stared right back, just like you often did, just like you always did. Stuffing his hands in his pockets he heaved a sigh, averting his gaze to look instead at the flashing lights of the server behind you. “You didn’t do anything wrong, pup…”

“Then? Why are you avoiding me?” You took a step closer, trying to get his gaze back on your face, but Changbin didn’t move one bit.

“Because you are right. I’m weird”.

You were quiet for a moment. “I didn’t say you were weird?”

Changbin looked at you then, at the puzzled expression on your face. “Yes, you did”.

“No, I didn’t”, there was a frown on your face, and there was nothing more that Changbin wanted right now than to flatten it out. “I said… I asked if the way we were cuddling was weird. I asked if you thought it was weird. I never said you were weird”

“I mean…” Changbin gulped. “Do you think it’s weird?”

“I… Kinda do think the way we cuddle is weird, but not… Not in a bad way. I, uh… I like the way we cuddle, Bin”, you sounded so confident, so absolutely sure of it Changbin was slightly taken aback. 

“But I’m an alpha”, he didn’t mean to sound that incredulous, but it certainly came out that way, and you seemed to pick up on it.

“Yes, and I’m an omega”, you were stating the obvious, but you were also clearly trying to make a point. “An omega that… That has… Has always felt uncomfortable in her own skin”.

Changbin blinked slightly, confused. “You… What?”

Taking a deep breath, you dragged your hands over your face, returning your eyes to his right after. “You know why… You know what was my trigger to finally run away from Hyunwoo and his pack?”

You never told him, and he didn’t ask, so of course Changbin didn’t know, so he simply shook his head, and you took this as a sign to continue. “He… He wanted to mate, like, forever mate. He wanted me to submit fully to him by mating with him. He had coaxed me into submission for so many years, with his stupid predator stare and his stupid alpha pheromones and scent… I always hated it, because it wasn’t me, so before it was too late, I finally ran away… Ran away to… To the only alpha I’ve ever known that’s never truly looked down on me”, your eyes went wide in surprise, almost as if you had just realised your last statement.

“But all those years ago in school I–”

“I accepted your apology for that, remember? It was a one off encounter, we’re all assholes at some point in our teenage years. Besides, you never used your status with me again, even when we were bickering. Hell, Changbin, I defied you back then, you know why?”

“Why?”

“Because… Because you smell like freshly made fairy floss… And… And peppercorns”, you gulped, your eyes darting all around his face. “I couldn’t… I mean, I’m sorry to say, Bin, but I really didn’t feel threatened by you at all. I never have”.

“Huh…” Changbin wasn’t sure how to reply to that, how to feel about that, mad because he wasn’t able to succeed at intimidating people as an alpha?–after all, he had been wired to think of that as the norm–or feel happy because he was able to make you feel comfortable around him, even that one and only time he tried to intimate you? It was a lot to unpack, so he decided to ignore it, focusing instead on something else. “Fairy floss and peppercorns?”

“Mm. Fairy floss and peppercorns”, you stated simply, your gaze jumping from one of his eyes to the other.

Gulping the saliva that had collected in his mouth, and encouraged by the lack of judgement in your eyes, Changbin decided to come clean, too. “I’ve been… Trying to get away from you because I was embarrassed. Because I’m an alpha that also doesn’t feel comfortable in his own skin. I think it’s weird, out of the norm, but I like the way we cuddle, too. I’m sorry if I made you think you did anything wrong, you didn’t”.

You quite literally exhaled a sigh of relief, a soft smile making its way onto your face. “Good. Then let’s stop the awkwardness, yeah?”

Changbin nodded, a smile of his own painting on his lips. With one final bright smile, you finally turned away from him, opening the door to leave the server room and return to your work.

“And just so you know”, you said right before you stepped out the door, turning back to look at him. “I… I like fairy floss… And… And peppercorns”, Changbin’s eyes went wide in surprise. “So, you don’t need to feel embarrassed around me for being you”.

Before Changbin could say anything, you were already out of his sight, the door quietly clicking shut behind you. Changbin couldn’t quite understand what had just happened, but he felt heat spread on his face. Only that this time, it wasn’t out of embarrassment.

Changbin was truly, truly fond of rainy days like these, even more so now that he could spend them cuddling with you again. As soon as you talked to him in the server room, as soon as Changbin let himself be vulnerable with you, your cuddling sessions were back in order–if anything, they were even more frequent now.

Sometimes, when it was late at night and you felt particularly cold, you’d shyly knock on Changbin’s door, patiently waiting for him to signal you to come in, only to tuck yourself under the covers and push your body against his right after, and Changbin loved it. He’d often wake up in your arms, either with his head laying on your chest or with you spooning him from behind and dear heavens if he loved being a little spoon, your little spoon. 

Changbin was used to cuddling his younger packmates, skinship wasn’t uncommon in their pack–on the contrary, everyone was stupidly touchy with each other–but when Changbin got to cuddle with you, it all felt so starkly different, warmer, safer, so he’d go into your arms as often as he could, just as he was doing now.

This was by far his favourite position to cuddle with you as of now, with one of your hands softly caressing his back and shoulders, with your fingers in his hair massaging his scalp, with his head on your chest, feeling your beating heart under his ear, feeling the rise and fall of your chest with each intake of breath, enjoying the cushion of your breasts. It was soothing, and Changbin would often find himself drifting off to sleep when you cuddled like this.

Today something was different, though. Among the pitter-patter of rain on the windows of your home, among the sounds of the third episode of Merlin you were watching today, he could also hear your heart, beating a bit faster than usual. So he couldn’t help himself when he asked, “you okay?”

“Mm”, was all you mumbled in response, your eyes still glued to the TV, your soft caresses not stopping.

Changbin simply hummed in response as well, closing his eyes again and burying his face further in the crook of your neck, almost brushing your skin with his nose. “You smell like autumn”, he couldn’t help but mumble.

“Like autumn?” You asked with a chuckle, burying your fingers further in his hair.

“Mm. Nutmeg and ginger. Like autumn and freshly baked cookies”.

You hummed, angling your head the tiniest bit to the side, almost as if you were giving Changbin more space to get even closer to your neck.

“I like freshly baked cookies…” He really couldn’t help himself when he inhaled deeply, taking in your comforting scent. It was almost overwhelming, how it coursed through his body, reaching areas deep within him, transporting him to that everlasting autumn. And maybe it was that feeling of comfort, or maybe it was the fact that he just couldn’t keep his urges hidden anymore, but before he knew it, he had pressed a soft kiss to your neck, right on your pulse point.

Changbin would’ve panicked once he realised what he’d done, but your reaction was enough for him not to. A satisfied hum that vibrated against his lips, your heartbeat picking up just the tiniest bit, and the fingers you had threaded in his hair almost, almost pushing him further into your neck. So, instead of shying away, he did it again, and again, and again, and again… Slowly, leisurely pressing kisses on the expanse of your neck to his heart’s content, revelling in the warmth of your skin on his lips.

However, Changbin quickly realised it wasn’t enough, that he had opened a dam in his heart that couldn’t be closed off anymore. So, emboldened by the lack of distress in your scent, by the quickening of your heartbeat, and by the almost inaudible rumble that started in your chest, his lips ventured further up, finding your cheek, and pressing soft kisses there, too. Many kisses. Pecks of his lips on your cheek where he could feel your skin heat up under his touch. And before he knew it, he found your lips, where he placed a kiss that lasted longer than the rest, a rumble of his own starting deep within his chest as he felt your lips react to him, pressing pecks of your own on his lips for as long as he did.

When Changbin pulled away from your lips and finally opened his eyes, he could’ve melted right then and there. There was a deep blush spreading all over your cheeks, but you looked so relaxed as you looked back at him, so content, he started to feel his cheeks heat up as well. Changbin was going to say something, to address what he had just done, but before he could, your hand was on his nape, pulling him down to you, sealing your mouths again.

This kiss wasn’t the same, though. It was loaded, heated, your tongue softly swiping over his bottom lip to get him to open his mouth, which he couldn’t help but do as soon as he registered the movement of your wet muscle on his skin. Your fingers threaded in his hair, holding the strands firmly between your fingers to angle his head to your liking as your tongues got acquaintanced with one another. Your previously barely audible rumble was now reverberating against Changbin’s chest full force, and the combination of his and yours had the whole sofa vibrating as you continued to kiss.

Soon, the sound of the raindrops hitting your windows, the sound of Merlin and Arthur speaking in the background, and the sound of your combined, synced rumble mingled with the wet sounds of your kiss, that, added to the overall feeling of it, to the feeling of your tongue and your lips against his, to the warmth of your body below him, had Changbin’s head spinning. And it all only intensified the moment he started to smell the change in your scent, from its usually relaxed tint to what Changbin knew to be lust, and he was sure you were noticing it in his, too. There was no way you wouldn’t, not when each graze of your tongue against his had all the blood rushing from his head to his crotch, and eventually you would notice that, too.

Pulling on his hair you got Changbin to detach his lips from yours, got him to look at you. “Changbin…” Your eyes darted all around his face, from his eyes to his nose to his lips and back up, and when you finally looked him in the eyes again, Changbin couldn’t help but swallow the saliva that had collected in his mouth.

“I like you”, you said simply, the words rolling off of your tongue easily as you stared confidently into his eyes, just as he stared right back.

“I like you, too, pup. So mu–” Before he could finish talking your lips were on his again, making him moan.

“How much?” You mumbled against his lips, just as he felt your legs shuffle below him, shuffle so you could press one of them further against his crotch, feeling him up.

“So, so much”, Changbin mumbled back between pecks of his lips, rolling his hips the tiniest bit so you could feel him even more. “Can’t you feel it?”

“Mm, I can”, your free hand set a trail down his spine, and Changbin couldn’t help but shiver with the motion. “But I want you to show me”.

Changbin’s mouth detached from yours then, so he could look you in the eyes. Your pupils were blown, your scent was everywhere, almost clouding his senses completely, but he had to ask. “You… You sure?”

“Positive”, the hand you had on his lower back moved further down, for you to grab a handful of his bum. “Are you?”

His lips were back on yours in an instant, a shared moan of relief escaping you both upon contact, getting lost in the other’s mouth. Changbin trailed kisses from your mouth, to your cheek, finally finding himself back on your neck, inhaling your scent and kissing your pulsepoint to mumble a ‘so fucking sure’ against your skin just as his hand sneaked below your shirt, dragging all the way from your belly to finally settle on your ribs. He wanted to be careful, he wanted to enjoy it, he wanted you to enjoy it, and before his brain could send the signal to his hand, your hand was already on his, pushing his further up to cup your breast.

Changbin couldn’t help but groan as he squeezed and kneaded the tender flesh, relishing the way your breath hitched in your throat from the motions of his hand. “Is there anything I shouldn’t do?” He mumbled against your neck, just as his thumb grazed your nipple.

“Don’t call me degrading names”, he could feel the movement of your throat against his lips as you swallowed, and he acknowledged your request with a hum. “Let’s… Let’s keep it simple for now, is that okay with you?”

Changbin moved away from your neck to look you in the eyes, the movement of his thumb on your nipple stopping, but he kept his hand there. “Yes. Tell me anything you want and I’ll do it. Anything”.

“Anything?”

Changbin nodded, so you continued. “I’ve been thinking… Fantasising…”

“Oh, have you? Of?” Changbin couldn’t help but smirk, making you scoff a laugh.

“Yes. Don’t look so smug, makes me want to wipe the look off of your face”, you pressed your leg further against him, making him inhale deeply. “Give me head”.

Changbin’s mouth watered immediately. And it was just as he was about to move his hand off of your breast that you added, “always wanted to know how it felt like”.

Changbin paused his movements immediately, seeking your gaze. “You… Never?”

You shook your head. “Never”.

Changbin couldn’t help but scoff, incredulous, mumbling a ‘what a shitty alpha’ that made you chuckle before he started his descent down your body. You wanted him to give you head? Oh, he would give you head. He’d give you the best head he’d ever given. Hooking his fingers on the waistband of your shorts, he gave you a final look, seeking your confirmation, which you gave him almost immediately, so he pulled the shorts off of your legs. You weren’t wearing any underwear, and he would’ve commented on it had he not been too focused on the sight.

Admittedly, he had thought about this, too. Too many times, maybe too frequently, and now that Changbin had your consent, now that he knew you wanted it, too, he was more than eager to comply with your wishes, bringing a hand to your core and spreading your folds with his fingers. He couldn’t help but swear under his breath, feeling himself grow impossibly hard as he stared, until finally, he dived, landing tentative licks on your clit that your thighs twitching and an incredulous ‘oh…’ falling from your lips.

He went slow first, letting you adjust to the feeling. Or at least, he tried to go slow first, it wasn’t long until your hand made its way to the back of his head, pushing his face further into you and making him groan. “More…”

So he gave you more, eagerly licking you, kissing you, tasting you, and in no time Changbin started to feel your grip on his hair tighten, your soft moans becoming louder and more frequent. That, coupled with the sight of your flushed cheeks looking back at him had him twitching and leaking in his underwear. 

“You–You’d give me…. Anything? Anything I want?” You were breathless, pausing between words as you swallowed thickly.

Changbin simply hummed against your skin, nodding slightly, the movement of his tongue and his lips on you not stopping for one second. 

“Finger me, too”, Changbin couldn’t help but groan against your heat as the words left your mouth, bringing a finger to your entrance to collect your essence, getting it wet before he finally pushed it in, earning him a satisfied groan from your lips. The warmth he felt around his digit had his mind reeling, and he wanted nothing more than to stuff you full and have you come undone under his tongue.

“More… Shit, Binnie, I’m not gonna break, give me more”.

Who was he to deny such a request? Changbin quickly added another finger, letting you adjust as he pumped in and out of you, as he rubbed all those sensitive spots within your warm walls, until eventually, he added another, and then another… Stuffing you full of four of his fingers to stretch you open as much as he could without causing any discomfort, with his lips around your clit and his tongue flicking it in his mouth. 

Your other hand eventually joined the other one that had been tugging on his hair, holding Changbin’s head in place as you rolled your hips to rub yourself against his tongue, to push yourself against his fingers, the most delicious noises leaving your lips, moans and groans and grunts and swears, and it was all so much, so much and so good, and he truly, truly wanted to make you come.

“Shit… Fuck, I’m–” Your words died on your tongue, replaced by a restrained moan as you bit your lower lip to contain the sound within your mouth. 

And then finally, after a few more thrusts of his fingers, after a few more flicks of his tongue, Changbin felt your walls clench around his digits, the repeating flutter ripping a growl out of his chest as he continued his movements to help you ride your high. It wasn’t until then that he realised he had been rutting against the sofa, the action would’ve made him feel embarrassed had he not been too enthralled by the blissed expression on your face to care.

Your hands finally moved away from Changbin’s head as you lightly gasped for air, propping yourself on your elbows to look at him, just as he removed his mouth and his fingers from your core to pepper kisses on your thighs and to spread the remnants of your release on the soft skin.

“Well, fuck…” You were panting slightly, a soft chuckle falling from your lips.

“Did that show you how much I like you?” A smirk made its way onto Changbin’s face as he took in the sight of your flushed cheeks.

You simply nodded, eagerly. “Now… Sit down and let me show you”.

Changbin did as asked, sitting on the sofa just as you straddled his lap, bringing your mouth to his for a heated kiss. Tugging on his shirt, you mumbled an ‘off’, moving away from his mouth just so you could remove the garment from his frame. “Fuck, look at these”, your hands found his pecks, squishing the relaxed muscles of his chest, feeling him up as your eyes fixed on the movement of your hands.

“My eyes are up here, pup”, Changbin couldn’t help but chuckle, his hands finding purchase on your waist.

“Uhum, and your tits are down here, shit”, you squeezed him a few times, making him laugh, a truly hearty laugh and he couldn’t help his cheeks from heating up. You finally turned your eyes back up to his, smirking. “Getting me all distracted with these, damn”.

Before Changbin could even reply to your comment, you had already tugged your shirt swiftly off of you as well, and he couldn’t help but zero in on your breasts as they jiggled slightly with the motion, making him swallow thickly. Taking a hold of his jaw you pulled his head up to make him look at you with a smirk plastered on your face. “My eyes are up here, Bin”, with that you connected your mouth to his, sealing your words with a heated kiss.

Changbin couldn’t stop his hands from moving lower, settling on your bum to fondle the flesh, a desperate groan falling from his lips and disappearing into your mouth once you leaned forward, pressing your bare chest against his and laying your hand palm flat on his abs, letting him enjoy the warmth of your bare skin against his. Trailing your hand further down, you settled on his crotch, finding his bulge with ease and feeling him up, making him buck his hips forward.

“Wanna touch you, Bin”, you mumbled against his lips, emphasising your words with a squeeze on the outline of his length.

“Touch me”, Changbin was surprised at how desperate his own voice came out, but he was honestly too horny, too distracted by your touch, by your warmth, by your scent, to care at all. “Touch me however you want…”

Sneaking your hand under his shorts and his underwear, your palm made contact with his bare skin, and he couldn’t help but inhale deeply, an action he did to try to ground himself, but that only made him take in more of your delicious scent, further clouding his senses. Resting your weight on your knees you hovered over his lap a bit to pull the garments down enough to free his length, lowering yourself on his thighs and wrapping your hand around him immediately after.

“Fuck… Wanna… Wanna touch you, too”, Changbin couldn’t help but moan as you tightened your grip around his cock, pumping him almost teasingly.

“Touch me”, you mumbled against his lips, and it was all he needed to move one of his hands from where it was gripping your rear to your core, easing two of his fingers into you, scissoring you open, relishing the way you moaned as soon as he did.

“You’re so hard, Binnie. Is this all for me?” You were breathing heavily, talking between kisses as you rolled your hips ever so slightly to enhance the feel of Changbin’s fingers within your walls. Separating your lips from his for a bit, you removed your hand from him, bringing it instead close to your mouth so you could spit on it, wrapping it around his cock immediately after and starting a fast pace around him.

“All for you, shit…” The feel of your hand around him, pumping him, your walls around his fingers, clenching with every single one of his movements, had him twitching and leaking in your hand, had his mind racing and his mouth watering with every single movement. “Want you…”

“Mmm… Want you, too”, your hand around his length slowed down, just as you kissed him briefly. “Condom?” You mumbled against his lips, moving away to press kisses on his neck.

Changbin gulped, trying not to get too distracted by the feel of your tongue on his pulse point. “In my bedroom”.

You hummed, grazing your teeth against his skin, making Changbin inhale a shaky breath. “Your bedroom it is”.

Removing his fingers from your core, Changbin brought both hands to your rear, making sure his hold was secure before he stood up from the sofa, carrying you safely in his arms as you continued to press kisses on his neck, admittedly making his steps less steady than they should’ve been, especially when you started to mumble in his ear just as you tugged on his hair. “Want you in me, Binnie. So bad…”

“You’ll have me, pup. However you want”, Changbin dropped you on his bed, pulling the drawer of his bedside table with more force than necessary, making everything in it ungraciously rattle with the motion. He found the box of condoms with ease, dropping it on his bed right next to where you had propped yourself on his pillows before he got rid of his shorts and his underwear, and crawled on top of you, claiming your lips once again.

The feel of your bare chest against his again had Changbin groaning upon contact, you were warm and soft and he wanted nothing more than to continue feeling your body against his, nothing more than to bury himself in your cunt and give you anything you asked him for. Changbin felt your hand reaching for the box of condoms as you kissed, and by the time he had propped himself up away from your mouth you had already torn the foil open and taken the condom out.

Licking your lips, you took his length in your hand, pumping him a few times, making Changbin swear under his breath. “Scoot back a bit”, you instructed him, and he did, moving away from you just as you pushed on his chest until he was sitting on the bed. Slowly, carefully, you slid the condom down his cock, Changbin’s hand wrapping around himself right after to make sure it was secure in place with a couple of pumps just as you leaned in to kiss him.

“Sit more comfortably, Bin”, you mumbled against his lips. “Wanna ride you”.

Changbin did as asked, holding his breath as you straddled his hips and took a hold of his cock, lining it with your entrance, until you finally sank down on him, taking him in in one easy motion. There was a shared groan of relief, and a loud ‘fuck’ falling from your lips as soon as he was buried to the hilt within your walls. Your warmth, the way he fit within your walls, had his senses on edge, and Changbin’s self-inflicted months of celibacy were certainly catching up to him right now. 

“Shit, puppy… Don’t think I’ll last, you’re so fucking tig–” Changbin choked on his words as you started to move, bouncing up and down his length with fervour, barely giving him any time to catch his breath.

“And you’re so fucking big”, taking a hold of his hair, you tugged his head back, making him grunt and his cock twitch. “So fucking big like the alpha you are, huh? Stretching me open so good with your fucking monster cock, fuck…” Your lips were on his in an instant, and Changbin felt himself flush. The movement of your hips, the hold you had on his hair, and the words you were saying to him had him moaning against your mouth, he would’ve felt embarrassed, had he not been completely engulfed in your scent, almost overwhelmed by how horny you were, by how horny he was.

With his hands on your rear, Changbin bounced you up and down his length, aiding your own movement and gripping your flesh tightly, making you squeal. And when you removed your mouth from his to attach it to his neck and suck harshly on his skin he decided he didn’t want to hold back in any way, if there was anyone he knew that wouldn’t judge him it was you. So he moved his head, baring his neck further for you, just as he felt his cock leak fluids into the latex. “More… Puppy, more… Please…”

He was barely making any sense, but it seemed like you understood him, since you continued to pepper love bites on his neck, and Changbin had to make the conscious effort not to drool. Alphas shouldn’t let others close to their neck like this, it was an act of vulnerability, of submission, and it was much worse to let others mark them. A love bite was, essentially, a wound, and a wound on the neck of an alpha was usually something to be ashamed of. But alas, Changbin was no ordinary alpha, just like you were no ordinary omega.

When you pulled your lips away from his neck and looked him in the eyes, Changbin couldn’t help but tighten his grip on your rear and bounce you faster on his cock, making you throw your head back and bite your lip to muffle a groan. “Fuck… Warm… Tight…” Changbin could barely talk, he was feeling lightheaded, the feel, the sight, the scent… It was too much.

“You look so pretty, Binnie. So fucking pretty”, you were also breathless, your sentences breaking between moans and groans of your own, and Changbin’s brain was close to shutting off completely, his body moving almost on instinct as he brought a hand to your clit, diligently rubbing circles on the bundle of nerves that had your cunt clenching harder around his cock and whines falling from your mouth.

Your walls had a vice grip on his cock and Changbin felt his abdomen tensing further the more you bounced on top of him, reaching dangerously close. So his hand sped up, determined to get you to your peak, too. “Close…” 

“Close, Binnie? Me too. So, so close… Almost there…” Changbin could only frantically nod to your question. “Wanna… Wanna come around my alpha’s cock, fuck…” Changbin couldn’t help but groan, my alpha, my alpha, my alpha, those two words wouldn’t stop resonating in his head, and his reason was slipping between his fingers the more you moved, the more you talked, words of his own starting to play in his mind, my omega, my omega, my omega.

“Wanna make my omega come… Wanna… Wanna come for my omega, too. Please, puppy…” With a few more flicks of his fingers on your clit, Changbin felt you tense up, a quick warning flying past your lips, the movement of your hips stopping as you finally came undone, trembling on top of him.

Returning his hand to your rear, Changbin bounced you on his cock as fast and hard as he could, chasing his own release, feeling his abdomen tighten further and further until finally, he came, a groan of relief flying past his lips as his seed filled the condom and he pushed your hips flush to his to keep you around him for as long as possible just as he dropped his body to the bed, completely spent. “Fuck…”

You leaned into him, pressing kisses on his face, his neck, softly caressing the skin of his chest, making him flush further. “Fuck indeed”, was all you said, which made him chuckle, incredulous.

Wrapping his arms around your waist, Changbin hugged you tightly for a moment, only to release you almost right after. “Gotta get rid of the condom, pup”.

You straightened yourself, pouting, making him chuckle just as he held the condom at the base of his cock for you to remove yourself from him. As soon as he was sitting again he carefully removed the latex from his length, tying a knot and ungracefully dropping it on the floor to pick up later. Clean up could wait, there was something more important he wanted to do right now. So Changbin laid back down next to where you were, pulling you close to feel your bare skin against his and kiss you deeply, a satisfied hum resonating within you as he did.

When you pulled back from his kiss, you regarded him with a smile that could’ve easily outshine the sun, and you brought a hand to his neck, caressing his skin softly. “Can’t believe you… You trust me enough to let me do this”.

“I’d trust you with anything”, and as Changbin said it, he knew it was true. “I’ve been… Hiding myself, my real self for so long. I don’t want to anymore”.

“I don’t want to, either. Hide my real self… I trust you, too. You make me feel safe, Bin. I do want you to… To be my alpha for real”.

Changbin felt himself flush, but he also felt like teasing you a bit, so he did. “That’d be a problem, then, Chris is the alpha of our pack!”

“Oh, God”, you groaned and weakly slapped his chest. “You know what I mean!”

“Yeah, I know what you mean”, Changbin felt as if his face was going to split open from how wide he was smiling, and, pulling you to him, he placed another kiss on your lips. “I want you as my omega for real, too”.

With a soft chuckle, you pressed a peck on his lips. “Let’s do that, then”.

“Yeah, let’s do that”, cupping your cheek, Changbin simply leaned in and kissed you, relishing the rumble that started to resonate again in your chest, just as his own rumble did, too.

Author’s Notex2: if you want to read more of this couple you can checkout my sort of part 2 to this: Heat.

© therhythmafterthesummer 2022-2023. all rights reserved. do not repost or translate my stories.

Constructive feedback is always welcome :)

Changbin’s WereRoomies Instalments: Finding Comfort in Autumn · Heat · The Love I Always Dreamt Of.

#stray kids supernatural au #stray kids fantasy au #stray kids werewolf au #changbin smut #stray kids smut #stray kids fanfiction #changbin fanfiction #changbin fic #changbin x reader #skz fanfic #skz fanfiction #stray kids fanfic #werewolf changbin #✨🌙✏

[nekropsii]

im thinking about the relationship between kankri and porrim because its just so fucking WEIRD like theyre obviously important to eachother or care about eachother to some extent but we dont really know why?? like they dont seem to get along very well

she patronizes him constantly (which is VERY loaded considering they lived on fucking beforus) and ignores his boundaries (calling him patronizing nicknames he doesnt like, wiping his face while he tried to push her off) and he constantly makes insensitive bitchy bigoted comments that go against all of her values and make her angry

and theres not the same dynamic dolorosa and signless had where she raised him like theyre the same age so why do they even talk to eachother?? what is their relationship?? like were they childhood friends or something?? itd make sense if they were both a little different as kids and therefore got along better but then why do they still talk to eachother when they really dont now ITS SO WEIRD

It's... Complicated. They go way back, as far as I can tell.

The way I see it, they do not have a "Mother and Son" relationship- I find that most who assert this often place far too much maturity onto Porrim, who is literally 19 years old. It's more like an Adoptive/Found Sibling relationship between someone with a severe case of Eldest Daughter Syndrome and the social conditioning of a higher-end Midblood on Beforus, and someone with a chronic case of Only Child and the social conditioning of a Mutant Lime on Beforus. The relationship makes more sense to me when you view it this way. It's just... A fraught sibling relationship, formed under societal pressures we can't even fathom. Porrim Maryam, trained by society to cull those beneath her, trying hard not to, and for the most succeeding outside of someone very close to her, and Kankri Vantas, culled and isolated his whole life, becoming a total suck-up to the deeply misogynistic, ableist, hemoloyal culling system as both a method of self defense and as a wielding of the only weapon he really knows. It was used against him all the time, and it works, doesn't it? If sucking up to Able-Bodied Male Highbloods and ridiculing everyone beneath that golden standard is the best way to ensure safety, then he's gonna do it. He's essentially a lifelong voter for the Leopards Eating People's Faces Party.

Ultimately, I think what keeps Porrim by his side is that... I think she believes in him. It's like watching yourself lose your sibling to the Alt-Right Pipeline. I think she thinks he doesn't actually believe most of what he's saying, and that this is all deeply reflexive. She's smart enough to recognize the real systemic issues at play here, and that he's essentially caught in chains between 5 different machines that all want him dead. And she's right. When you actually read the shit Kankri's saying, it becomes almost immediately apparent that he's spouting bullshit, and that he absolutely knows this. I think what keeps Kankri by her side is that he knows she cares about him. There isn't any denying it. She might infringe on boundaries, or be generally annoying to him, and keeps doing that frustrating little thing called seeing through his and everyone else's bullshit and calling them out on it- not just including but especially his- but she cares. I think he knows that at the end of all things what he'd have left is her. Is this to say that if you got Kankri to grow a spine and genuinely believe in things that aren't spoonfeedings of the latest Conservative Highblood Talking Point/Psy-Op, he'd be a good person? Hell no. No way. He has a raging savior complex and is way too eager to throw other people under the bus and insult/ridicule them to their faces. He's an asshole. Just completely slimy.

But, again, sibling relationships know no bounds. This kind of dynamic just feels so... Realistic to me. The way their relationship is so strained but still so strong and ongoing just feels so human. I don't know. This is pretty meandering, I just think about them a lot.

#homestuck #homestuck analysis #homestuck meta #alpha trolls #beforan trolls #porrim maryam #kankri vantas #porrim.pdf #kankri.pdf #nekro.pdf #nekro.sms

[wolven91]

A Role Reversal

The taurian huffed with her arms crossed, she was inches away from breaking something fragile just to feel better. She was going to be stuck escorting a goddess damned male around, it was the absolute last thing she needed this week.

They were always so flighty, so frustrating. To say the wrong thing was to have them clutching at themselves as if she’d slapped them.

Urie often found herself in trouble and receiving reprimands when trying to treat a male as she would anyone else. She was instructed to do so! But she always ended up either insulting them or saying something inappropriate and she'd have to once again take a gender awareness course. 

She didn't mean to disrespect them, she just tried to treat them as an equal, as one of the gals!

The door opened to reveal a diminutive human male. The brand new species that the whole galaxy was buzzing about. Something had happened during their introduction, but the story was oddly difficult to get an official report on. 

He looked somewhat similar to a taurian male, flat chest, cute butt. What was truly interesting was that he had no horns. His skull was completely different to a taurian, yet the lack of horns seemed to trigger the same feelings Urie got when meeting a tuarian at the bar that she’d try her luck with. 

In male taurian culture, they would shave their horns down to be as 'desirable' as possible before covering them with a ceremonial sash. This human had no need, it was… scandalous.

"Hey there!" The human gleefully greeted her, surprising Urie with his boldness. She checked herself, sometimes males would want to assert themselves so they weren't seen as meek.

"Er…Hello! My name is Urie and I'll be your escort whilst on the station." She said in a plain, respectful tone and gave a well practised formal bow. It was only then she noticed she was bowing over the outstretched hand of the human.

"Uh, sorry." She said quickly, grabbing the hand, then wincing. She wasn't meant to just grab them, that wasn't 'correct'.

"It's okay! You got a great grip! We'll have to arm wrestle at some point, that'll be funny as all hell!" The fleshy creature laughed with a jovial tone.

Urie'smind blue-screened as she wasn’t certain exactly how to handle this. She'd love nothing more than to arm wrestle a male. To touch them was exciting enough, to actually do something fun?!

This had to be a trap. She'd stick to the training. It was the only safe option.

The following couple of hours was maddening. He'd talk to her freely and calmly. He'd laugh at her faux pars. When she accidentally bumped into him, he deliberately hip checked her right back.

By the time they reached the food court they were both laughing uproariously.

"So, I have to ask. You mentioned that you were looking for a partner?"

"A mate, yes." Urie nodded.

"How come you haven't found anyone? A lass like you should have guys hanging off you I would have thought? What is it, do you snore?"

"I intimidate them." Urie replied with a dejected tone.

"...how?" He asked an incredulous voice. She brought up a thick arm and tensed her bicep, which bulged and twitched.

"Well count me scar-roused." He stated confusing Urie as he spoke with an awed inflection.

"Most males are intimidated by us, we're bigger, more dangerous. Males have to be careful because IF I'm one of 'the bad ones' then I'm a massive threat. You're... you're not usual. No male would act or talk the way you do..." She said before putting her hands flat against the table so he could see where they were, claws extended and digging into the table top.

As a taurian, she wasn’t even close to the largest of the races, but she still had a few feet on the smaller human. The table they sat at was designed for their species, but their differences were highlighted at this moment. 

The human merely chuckled and waved a dismissive hand. 

"Ah, I know kung fu. We'll be okay, I'll spar with you sometime if we get the chance." He said with a casual air.

Urie blinked. The idea of pinning him down was the only image in her head now. She couldn't help but pin him with her gaze as he finished his meal, she used her mighty mitts to smother the toothy grin that refused to leave her face.

The following day, in the evening, Urie opened the can of beer with one hand, grasping the top with her index claw and thumb, while her index finger’s claw picked at the tab and opened it with a practised move. She poured some of it in the outstretched pint glass, once the beer roughly reached the top, she poured the rest in her far larger glass. She didn't have as much now, but she honestly couldn’t care less, it was worth it.

This was the very first time that not only had she had a chance to drink beers with a male, but he didn’t seem to be forcing his taste for her benefit. It also helped that he was so attractive.

There had been males that enjoyed drinks, or acted like females, but they all seemed off to Urie. Males acting like females and half looking like females, wasn’t something she wanted, she just wanted someone who was happy to be themselves and she liked what males looked like, there was no need to be ‘feminine’ to her to be equals. She just wanted to spend time with one that was chill and understood that she meant no harm if she missed a social hurdle.

Urie side-eyed Kerion.

She’d never met a human before, she had no real information on what they were like, it had been barely a month since they had appeared. Her first impressions were that they were odd. Very odd. He was attractive, no doubt there. His hornless forehead lent him the air of a male who genuinely tried to make an effort on their look, but he'd not acted like a male all day or the day before. He'd listened to her opinion, offering banter or other opinions without expecting that she would agree with him. They were just equals, a budding friendship devoid of a power struggle. 

They both ended up sitting on a bench overlooking the community marketplace of the station. It was at the very commercial centre of the various city-sized sections of the station. The ceiling, a latticework of glass overhead glittered as they orbited the blackhole giving it a 'beautiful' look, a serenity that lent to the calm atmosphere of this isolated spot.

Urie’s eyes widened when she realised with a jolt that others used this a 'lovers' overlook. She just felt it was a nice quiet place she went to be alone! She’d always come here on her own, this was the first time she had someone with her up here. She didn’t mean to get him alone like this. 

Cringing at herself, she looked at the human again and wondered what he was thinking right now. 

Did he know? He wasn’t dumb, he had to know!

Was he pretending he didn't know? He was kind and never made her feel lesser, it would be what he’d do…

Was he waiting for her to make a move? Where did that idea come from…

Was she supposed to kiss him? She wouldn’t mind doing that…

The silence felt pregnant, but Urie wasn't sure what to say or do, she sat there wiping the condensation off the side of her glass as she tried to figure out what he wanted her to do now. 

When a yawn tugged at her face, she began to stretch before a fantastic idea graced her. Subtly after the apex of her yawn and stretch, when she relaxed back against the bench, she brought her free arm down along the back of the bench and around Kieron's shoulders. 

He didn’t react at first, if anything he chuckled before turning against her. 

His legs stretched out along the bench, his back fully against her side and with his free hand, gently plucked her wrist and put it around himself, finally resting his smaller arms over her forearms and began to drink again from his smaller pint glass. 

“Mm, I’m glad you finally made a move. I was worried I was going to have to take the jump.” He said quietly. 

“I… didn’t mean for this to happen. I mean! Er.. I’m glad this happened, but I didn’t expect…? Yeah, I didn’t expect this to happen.” She tried to explain, why was her mouth so dry?

He shook against her side. 

“Haha, don’t worry. Whatever the case, I’m glad we’ve got to this moment. By hook or by crook, this has been a lovely day. You’re good people Urie.”

Her heart fluttered when he said her name. Goddess, she felt light headed.

#conservationverse #cuddleverse #human #haso #hfy #humans are space orcs #taurian #furry #human x furry

[makingspiritualityreal]

Moon Ruled Nakshatras - Consequences of Attention Seeking

A trope very commonly seen in many creations, executed with various contexts and endings, in which the protagonist has his big 3 in Moon Ruled Nakshatras (Rohini, Hasta, Shravana), is the consequence of the Moon ruled Nakshatras following the stage of the Sun.

The Sun is self sufficient and self focused, so full of themselves their light even spills outside. However, in everyone's horoscope, the Sun burns out over time. By the time we reach the Moon Nakshatra stage, we mature to realise that we need, and are attached to other people in our lives, and we won't survive if we don't adapt and don't form relationships.

This brings up the topic of paying attention to people's feelings, that we only discover in the Moon stage. In the Sun stage, as we are learning independence, we don't bother with that and we can come off as insensitive and self centered. The Sun is also an intelligent, logical planet, capable of providing solutions for both oneself and the others. However, by the Moon stage our shine wears off, and we begin to need other people. At the beginning, we try to catch their attention with rational means, but over time human behaviors become increasingly irrational and instinctive, the more desperate we are to get what we need and assert our position. These situations develop differently depending on the Nakshatra, but they always invariably end up the same way.

The Moon Native gets caught in their wrongdoings and suffers consequences for it, being taught a harsh lesson about including the other person's point of view, developing a capacity to empathise and bond through forced circumstances. However, that actually gives the Moon native happiness, as it provides them with what they unconsciously craved all along - stable connection.

In Vedic Astrology, the Moon as a planet is called "lovesick". It has no enemies, because the one quality of the Moon is its constant desire for attention and stimulation. ANY attention will do. Moon is where the saying "negative attention is still attention" originated. The one desire the Moon has is to be constantly surrounded by love and presence. And it will go to any lengths to fulfill that desire, irrationally, and will always, inevitably pay the price for it.

The antidote for a Moon native is either having very secure connections or tapping into their intuitive, psychic abilities.

Below, I will give a brief description of how this process unfolds for each Nakshatra, and give fiction examples.

Rohini Nakshatra - For movie examples, I recommend the Rohini video created by The Hidden Octave on Youtube. There are two paths for these natives. One is obsessive flirting, pathologically seeking attention of multiple romantic and sexual partners, for the sake of feeling constantly adored, but not taking anyone's feelings seriously, which leads to generation of resentment from many people. In anger, these people retaliate on the native, causing their downfall. The productive path here is working with pets or releasing one's urges through creativity or really surrendering to romance, even if just through art or fiction. Introducing more sensuality into already existing relationships can also help.

Hasta Nakshatra - The desire for attention here mostly leads to a tendency towards financial fraud, where tempting people with financial mistakes is yet another call for help. Huge sums of money are in fact a compensation for a desire for true family connections. Still, irresponsible criminal financial activities are always met with a sticky end in this Nakshatra, at the hands of governmental powers. Hasta Lagna Leonardo DiCaprio in "Catch me if you Can" plays a youth turned into a hardened criminal, after he escapes home, heartbroken at the onset of his parents' divorce. He retains a very childish behavior while committing financial fraud crimes, almost as a tantrum, and ultimately calms down when finding a boss and a surrogate father in an FBI agent played by Pushya, avatar of Brihaspati, Tom Hanks. At the same time, crime and cheating is replaced with offering society a useful skill.

Shravana Nakshatra - I recommend watching the recent Nina Dobrev flick, Shravana Moon "Sick Girl" for this one. It's about a girl who fakes having cancer to draw attention of her close friends and loved ones back to herself. This is the highest expression of the Moon, where the native seeks out attention from groups/media/through faking an illness or through provoking very serious, life threatening situations. Same behavior for Rosamund Pike, Shravana Sun in "Gone Girl", she commits murder and fakes death and victimises herself to feel loved by her husband and parents again. Amanda Bynes in "She's the Man" goes to drastic measures and poses as her brother to get everyone's attention to her misery of having her life career denied. The desire for collective, mass attention here can lead to fame if channeled towards public service, and if one's contribution is genuine.

#astrology #vedic astrology #moon #jyotish #astrology observations #astrology notes #astro notes #astro observations

[mhevarujta]

I saw for the first time someone claiming that Elain employs 'weaponized incompetence'.

That would entail that Elain is DELIBERATELY trying to not be competent to displace responsibility from herself.

We are talking about the same girl who wanted to ASSUME responsibility of her treatment of Feyre when people were pointing the finger only at Nesta.

The one who took the initiative when the circle was to meat the human queens, offered a meeting place, made the arrangements, even thought of using Graysen's house for the humans to find shelter, and overall always wanted to provide safe spaces to people in different ways.

The one who was kidnapped and yet subverted the 'damsel in distress trope' by grabbing Briar and kicking bloody the hound that was attacking Azriel.

The one who thought she was going crazy and yet started getting better fast from the moment she was given a reasonable explanation for her condition, despite still being unaware of what she was doing.

The one who is a woman of peace and didn't want a knife, yet used it with no hesitation to save her sister and Cassian.

The one who kept trying to not just sit, to help with the gardens, to bake, to learn to offer.

The one who wanted to scry herself and called out Nesta for doing to her exactly what everyone has been doing throughout her life and what this fandom doesn't seem to grasp: Suffocating her and yet judging her for being as she is.

Elain did not CHOOSE to have issues with asserting herself. She is not delighted by it. Her mother tried to raise her to be a pretty doll that she could take advantage of at the marriage market. His father treated her similarly. He was emotionally attached at least, but the way he fussed was not helpful for her to develop her personality. Despite their love for Elain, Nesta and Feyre learned to treat Elain just like their parents did. Even the Night Court has not given her responsibility and have excused her when she didn't want to be excused.

The fandom tried to act as if this is some deficiency rooted in who Elain as a person, but it's something that was forced upon her as if, just because of her kindness, she is fragile and breakable. For people who use (incorrectly) terminology relating to psychology, some fans have no scope or sympathy over how, especially during people's developmental years, personalities are shaped by the way one is being treated.

"ELaiN CouLd HaVe OppOseD ThEM. FeYrE and NEsTa ArE DiFFeReNT".

Nope. Feyre and Nesta are their parents creatures. Feyre supporting the family and making sure they don't starve WAS founded partly on her mother's request. Nesta had become the woman that many initially disliked by being raised on their mother's knee. The problems their upbringing held for each were dealt with throughout their respective arcs with both of them having ALREADY gotten their own novels and they are still not completely free of them despite doing better, because ultimately you can't just completely throw away the way you were raised. Neither of them were like Elain because they weren't treated like Elain was.

I genuinely think there are double standards when it comes to the way Elain's character and her potential are evaluated, and the intentionality that is attributed to what is actually a STRUGGLE for her is a very shallow and short-sighted interpretation of her predicament.

I can't wait for the day her book will make many take a fork and a knife and eat their words.

#elain archeron #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acosf

[inkdemonapologist]

What are your thoughts on the characterization of the ink demon himself?

In BatDR? Ehhhhh…….

There’s plenty of room for interesting headcanons, especially what with the Ink Demon and Bendy behaving so differently. A lot of folks have imagined it as a Jekyll & Hyde type situation, which is neat, or just an internal Venom-esque “the souls of the innocent/two bagels” dynamic. Or there’s the interpretation that the Ink Demon deep down wants the love and acceptance he gets as Baby Bendy; he’s the same guy, but his emotions have been messed with and he’s being treated differently so he reacts differently, which is a take I actually really like.

Just looking at the Ink Demon on his own, it’s SO easy to read him as a teenager, thinking he’s so cool and edgy talking about his Dark Kingdom, not looking like Bendy anymore b/c hes decided wanting to look like Bendy is cringy and he’s TOUGH AND POINTY NOW – then making The Dumbest Mistake at the end by letting Audrey possess him because he thinks it’ll make him more powerful, and having no idea how to fix it, but still trying to act cool. The idea of BatIM’s Ink Demon being the equivalent of a frustrated child lashing out, and BatDR’s Ink Demon being a teenager who has internalised that he’ll be harmed if he’s not powerful and has embraced being evil and violent and hated as a shield, is an interpretation that makes sense to me. There was this GREAT fanart I vaguely recall but cannot find again of the Ink Demon with a symbolic birdcage in the middle of his chest where the little Bendy rocked peacefully on a swing – Bendy as the piece of him that’s scared and hurt, a piece he’s pushed from sight more and more in favour of making himself more sharp and cruel, but now can’t always hide, is a REALLY INTERESTING thematic concept.

But the truth is that we didn’t get any of those things --

Bendy and the Ink Demon being the same creature is a really interesting development that is literally never touched on beyond explaining how and why it happened. What does Bendy think of the Ink Demon form? What does the Ink Demon think of the Bendy form? Are they two consciousnesses, or the same guy? Really obvious questions that you’d think would be inherently guaranteed to come up due to the premise, but they don’t! Audrey discovers that Baby Bendy and the Ink Demon are the same entity and seems to feel exactly nothing about this? She still supports ending the Ink Demon, even though he’s the little cartoon devil she made friends with and said she didn’t want to hurt… it just seems like there should at least be a conflicted feeling somewhere. The Ink Demon himself is portrayed as Just Evil, and nothing challenges that, to a level that’s so bizarre that it really feels like the NARRATIVE ITSELF is baffled by the idea that anyone might question the basic idea of "Scary Demon Bad, Cute Bendy Good". And I’ve talked before about how strange Joey’s final speech comes across once you notice this, as he brushes the Demon off as an “evil face” while telling Audrey how special and perfect and loved she is, and the whole moment is framed as though we’re meant to be encouraged by Joey, and not wincing at the way he disregards the demon he mistreated and abandoned.

The Ink Demon has been regarded as a soulless, monstrous mistake by various characters throughout this whole series, locked up and now literally, unambiguously tortured because of it, and it’s easy to imagine the story that assertion suggests – one where the Ink Demon’s cruelty is the result of him being cast out and treated with disgust by humans, like Mewtwo or some kind of inky Frankenstein. But in BatDR, we never see any hint that the initial reading of “monstrous mistake” is incorrect. As if locking him up was the correct, smart thing to do, and creating Baby Bendy to trap him and cause him pain was a good move, and the only problem is that it can’t be made permanent.

I think the closest we get to seeing something more from the Demon is his line to Audrey about being a mistake and a monster, “like me.” I really like his speech in that scene… He could simply be trying to manipulate her, but it’s so easy to read as projection, as if the only way the Ink Demon could reveal his own betrayed feelings is by accusing someone else of them. And then… nothing really comes of it. Everyone continues regarding the Demon as a purely evil monster. When the Ink Demon lashes out at Joey, it’s not framed as a reaction to being rejected so explicitly, it’s just… trying to stop him because Joey’s getting through to the Demon’s intended prey (with bonus points for "the wretch is mine" making him feel particularly scummy). You can still imagine he’s motivated by those things, but I really feel like you have to come into the story with that assumption in order to see it there.

This isn’t saying that the Demon has to not be a bad guy for his characterisation to be compelling – like, for example, Audrey could just have a short moment of realising that if Bendy IS the Ink Demon, there must be more to the Demon than we can see – but decide he’s too dangerous to risk giving up the chance to stop him (WHICH SURE WOULD BE INTERESTING GIVEN THE TRAJECTORY OF HER FATHER’S LIFE, HUH). He can still be a violent monster who is creepy at Audrey, tries to kill her, lies to her, and then eats(???) her. He doesn’t have to behave sympathetically for the narrative to acknowledge that he’s been treated unfairly, and the other characters don’t have to give him a chance at redemption in order to be believably good people. But it feels weird that…. the narrative never seems to notice??? Anywhere???? ESPECIALLY AFTER MENTIONING THE TORTURE EXPERIMENTS??? I think Malice’s writing in this game was incoherent, but the narrative’s treatment of her was humane; she’s violent and cruel and has to be stopped, but the character who keeps having to drive a sword through her torso still feels for her and notices her pain. It’s bafflingly wild that Audrey never really gets a moment like this for the demon.

#bendy and the dark revival #batdr #ink demon #we all write on the walls #i know you have questions you always do #this is still such a wild choice #like you're constantly waiting for that moment where someone gets it but it never comes #hilariously despite my feelings here my username was not originally based on feelings about the ink demon #i wanted to be sammy and thought inkdemonapologist would be a funny username for the ink demon's prophet to choose on tumblr dot com

[mihai-florescu]

Putting a message i sent earlier under a read more, it has some thoughts ive expressed before tho. ES, of course

My thoughts as an EichiP... i view ! and !! as different stories in the way they're approached tbh, what i fell in love with enstars for was the character driven storytelling of one event seen through different perspectives, where you see the antagonist in one perspective become a protagonist in another story and can empathize with the entire cast like this. I fell in love with eichi's story of second chances, getting what you want and regretting your actions in the process, redemption, desperation, overcoming fate and asserting one's self into the story, saving a school in a dying industry that saved your life by giving you a dream; i consider it an arc fulfilling to the reader at the end of ! era. But we still had to continue... and it's not like we didnt get inklings of eichi's dreams of idol utopia, the idol soldier idea goes back to main story 1, but !! loses the charm of the original series through expanding the worldbuilding so much and shifting to a plot driven story that opens 10 cans of worms instead of offering resolutions. There's not really room to breathe if the stakes just keep getting higher and higher...

As for the colonisation plotline, it's been here since the beginning of ES2. The SS arc makes it obvious, but i remember even before, the talks about ES taking over from local businesses, trying to be seen as the standard, it was always the direction ensemble square as an institution would take. But the "antagonist in one story, protagonist in another" approach doesnt work anymore with such subjects. The guys responsible for this are your coworkers you share dorms with. I read the stories but cant empathize anymore, so i've been feeling disconnected from eichi for a while. I see enstars with eichi at its core but i didnt care for his center event, i read it, didnt like the ending, and overall felt off. Eichi becoming the villain of ! to attone for the war kind of loses significance if a year later he is a cartoon villain idol colonialist you can't even sympathize with anymore because of the magnitude of events. However i do think !! has done good things for some characters pushing them further or developing them in a way ! didnt. But for others...

I also have my issues with sci fi elements becoming the norm, even taken metaphorically or as hyperboles, when one of the central themes i love about enstars is humanity. Then again, i am a war era fan that relied on manipulating human desires and perceptions, and the fact that there were no monsters or gods, just humans framed as such, playing on people's fears and beliefs, it's a bit jarring to me to have them introduce AIs forming from escaped comatose brains (im minimizing the switch climax rn, i didnt even hate it as a whole, just this resolution im unhappy with)

It also feels like we've lost some of the meta aspects of the writing i liked, a certain awareness of being characters in a story and there being an audience. But im still struggling to word my thoughts on this matter. I felt it present in main story 2, even if it annoyed me at parts in its obviousness ("good thing we're not protagonists, no one would want to read about us" youre right aira you are not interesting to me. And yet i'll read your story to try and empathize nevertheless. I have other thoughts on aira too, perhaps for another time). I wish we explored a bit more what it means to no longer be the central protagonist, from trickstar's perspective...and brought back the successors topic. But i havent read every ts story yet so i'd be foolish to complain before really making sure i've checked everything. To me ! ended satisfyingly with room left for elaborations and imagination, but i dont feel like !!'s ending is really ending anything at all. Not necessarily bad since it's not like the game is shutting down, but overwhelming worldbuilding wise while underwhelming character wise...

Let's see... im not sure how to end this. Just a bit of a stream of consciousness as a ! fan who still loves enstars despite my critiques. Mainly, well, no one's gonna take away the stories that already exist that i do love and impacted my life greatly. And i do think !! had some really good things too it brought, or at least stories i hold dear too. Change is scary and i don't think it's always for the best, but it's also fun to see where it goes next...

#enstars

[whitexwolfxx310]

Taking Control Over The Big Bad (White) Wolf

Pairing: Bucky x female reader

Summary: Learning the news that you no longer have to stay at The Compound, Bucky makes a scary but enticing offer.

Warnings: 18+ for this post, dominance kink, life decisions, argument with parents, Y/N, sexual content, cursing, cockwarming, fluff, angst.

Word Count: 3688

Gif: Credit goes to magnusedom

Notes: Yes, a part of this was requested!

Tag List: @peaches1958 @aquabrie @elsie-bells @pono-pura-vida @redbloodedgurl @almosttoopizza

Previous Part

Masterlist

You have been living out all of your daydreams with Bucky recently. Ever since spending that one night together, he has become more visibly relaxed. It doesn’t look like he’s .5 seconds away from giving himself a brain aneurysm. Well, most of the time at least. While you each have your own apartment, neither of you have slept alone in weeks. That also means Bucky no longer sleeps on the cold floor. He struggles sometimes, becoming antsy as he tries to get comfortable. It’s as if the more relaxed he strives to be, the more restless he becomes.

There have been many fulfilled late nights and some of the best ways to start the day; with each other. Reaching that new level of comfort with one another really took your relationship to the next level. It’s at the point where you’re still learning about one another but passed the awkward stage where it’s uncomfortable to show who you really are. Speaking of learning more about each other, it’s not just the history or experiences you both have had. (Although, the focus tends to be on yourself or Bucky’s young adult life before getting drafted into the Army.) It’s the exploring. Being completely exposed, vulnerable, and getting to know every inch of each others body’s. What he likes and dislikes, what drives him to the edge and vice versa for yourself.

Bucky is always eager to please and even more so to learn. Sex and intimacy have come a looong way over the decades. Positions, toys, enhancements (not that either of you need them, but they’re still fun), and not just restricting yourselves to the bed. Good thing that The Compound is sound proof. Everyone around seems to have an idea of what’s going on behind closed doors, but they don’t need to hear it. So far, Bucky has shown the most interest in exploring different surfaces (the shower and couch seem to be his favorite) and also asserting some kind of a dominant role.

It makes sense because of how compliant he had to be for so many years. Feeling constantly controlled, it would be only human to be intrigued by the other side of things. He’s still always sweet, sometimes almost too gentle. We’ll work on that.

There are two ways of looking at this; One: Bucky is still experimenting. He’s trying to find balance between his pleasure and yours. Two: He’s afraid of going too far and hurting you. While you can appreciate his care and concern for your well being, there’s this dark entity inside begging for a cool metal hand necklace.

*Ding* Your attention gets drawn to the New Email notification on your phone. Sitting down at the island in his kitchen, wearing one of Bucky’s t-shirts and a pair of lace cheeky panties, you bring one knee up to hug it as you unlock your phone. Bucky’s on the other side of the island, cleaning. Always fucking cleaning. You open the email.

“Dear Y/N,

The Compound has been deemed safe once again. We are no longer concerned about a possible breach. You are able to return to your normal work schedule and are free to go home at your leisure. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to call my extension (3000).

Thank you,

Pepper Potts”

Leave? You have been so caught up in the whirlwind that is Bucky Barnes that it was completely forgotten that The Compound wasn’t your home. It feels as though this perfect timespan has completely crumbled unexpectedly underneath your feet.

“What’s wrong?” Bucky asks, staring intently at you from the stove worried.

“I- I was told I could go home.” You say, sorrowfully.

“Hold on. What?” He responds, needing to hear you say it again as if he doesn’t believe you.

“They cleared the possible breach… I don’t have to stay here anymore.”

Bucky doesn’t say a word but it is very obvious that the wheels are turning in his head, trying to think of a way around this.

“We knew this day was coming though, right?” You say, trying to lighten the mood. But its clear that this news has disheartened you both.

Within the blink of an eye he had taken a few long strides, standing now to your side. His metal arm reaches across your lap to grip the chair, quickly turning the chair so that you’re face to face.

“Don’t go…” He begs softly unable to look you in the eyes.

“I…w-what do you mean, Bucky?” You’re genuinely confused as to what he’s trying to imply.

“Stay.” It comes out as a heavy breath. “Here… with me.” He’s finally able to look you in the eyes, and he seems… distressed? Scared? Worried that if you leave his sight that you’ll somehow never come back?

“Are you asking me to move in with you?” Sitting there stunned, holding your breath, you wait for his answer. Either way you’re terrified. Because either one, he literally just asked you to move in. Or two, you completely misinterpreted what he was saying and you’re about to feel like the worlds biggest idiot.

“I know it’s crazy…” Bucky starts, trying hard to think before he speaks in fear of coming off as too much and scaring you away. “And at the risk of sounding utterly selfish in saying this, I don’t feel as though my every move is being microscopically analyzed when you’re with me. I’ve gained trust back with you. I-I’m infatuated with you. Y/N.” His jaw is clenched, the vein in his temple looks as though it’s about to combust from his admission.

Infatuated? What do I even say to that? Your mind starts racing. Flashes of your possible life with Bucky start taking over your mind. Living together and waking up to those perfect pancakes he makes every morning. How instantly protective he is of you whenever you’re in public. The most passionate and intense sex that some people only dream about having. Slow dancing to the record player in the living room every night. Him wearing an all black suit, feeling comfortable with no gloves waiting for you at the end of the isle. What kind of dad would he be? Does he even want those things?

All of his focus is on waiting for your answer. His breathing drawn out as he tries to control it to not seem as nervous as he feels. A part of you wants to only dip your toe in the water, to take things slow because this can be a tough life when you’re so attached from the feelings involved. The other part of you wants to just dive right in. You want to live together? Yes. You want to get married and start a family? Yes. You’re talking about a future that surrounds each other? Yes, yes, and yes. The thought is terrifying but exhilarating at the same time. But the difficult journey could lead to an amazing destination. There’s no way to find out unless you try.

“That’s a really big decision, Bucky…” You start, and his head instantly falls forward in disappointment. “But…” His head picks back up, your gaze meeting each others. “Let’s try.”

His eyes widen in excitement. “Really?!” I’ve never seen him this animated about anything before.

“Really.” Your eyebrows raise as your lips curve upwards into a beaming smile at not just the possibility, but the reality of this happening.

“Ugh, Y/N. Just when I thought I couldn’t get any happier. You always surprise me!” Bucky quickly snatches you from the high counter chair at the island. The giggles effortlessly flow out as he picks you up and spins you around once. Placing your feet firmly back on the ground, he cups the left side of your face with right hand.

“You do realize this means that your place probably won’t be spotless anymore, right?”

“Our place” He corrects, mirroring the giant cheesy smile. “Worth it.” He says, placing a gentle kiss against your lips. "Get ready, let's go and get your stuff."

Sitting in the passenger seat, you look over at Bucky. It's one of those moments where you feel like the luckiest woman in the world. This is a moment you'll remember for a lifetime. He has dark sunglasses on, concentrating on the mostly empty road. With being tall, he props his left knee underneath the steering wheel, using it to maintain the car straight. His right hand reached over, resting on your knee and giving it a gentle squeeze as his thumb rubs smoothly over it. The golden hue from the fall foliage makes his outline glow, as if he were an angel.

How is this even real life?

Coming back into the current moment, you recognize the song on the radio. Bucky actually let you control the music for once. Which is probably something he is going to regret.

"I love this song!" You exclaim, turning the volume up. But of course not too high for the old man.

"She's the one, she'll always be there She took my hand and I made it, I swear Because I fell in love with the girl at the rock show She said, "What?", and I told her that I didn't know She's so cool, gonna sneak in through her window Everything's better when she's around I can't wait 'til her parents go out of town I fell in love with the girl at the rock show!"

You stop, realizing that Bucky is looking over at you and not the road anymore. "You doing that staring thing again." You laugh. "What?!" You ask, suddenly feeling self conscious from singing.

He smiles, shaking his head. "I just enjoy being around you." It's the simplicity of being yourself that he admires most. Every move isn't articulated or pre-planned. There is no immediate danger. Life can be uncomplicated when you're free to be yourself.

The thought of just being with each other makes you feel warm inside. Who would of figured that you two would be the ones leaning on each other?

The rest of the car ride was pretty quiet. No particular reason, just relishing in the cool autumn weather for the duration of the drive.

Soon enough you're on the dirt road leading up to your parents house. Getting closer, you notice that both cars are parked in front, meaning both of them were home. Bucky parks and looks over at you, seeing what your reaction is going to be. You squeeze his hand that is still on your knee and smile. "Just give me a moment to grab some things, okay?" You say, still holding his hand for reassurance.

"Okay." He reluctantly let's go of your knee as you get out of the car.

Walking up to the front door, you know the conversation that is about to be had. Your jaw clenches in anxiety as you enter the house.

"Oh hey, sweetie!" Mom says, pausing from dusting the pictures on the mantel. "We were wondering when you would be coming home!"

"About that..." You start, taking a deep breath as your hands ball up into fists from being nervous. "I've decided to stay at The Compound. I just came here for my things." It gets blurted out.

"Oh?" Mom replies, waiting to see if there is more of an explanation than you've provided.

"Why is that?" Dad asks from the hallway, leaning on the frame. His sudden appearance makes you jump, not knowing he was right there. The ball of nerves inside of you doesn't necessarily help the situation either.

"We all knew my staying here was temporary..." You say truthfully, but it still comes out like an excuse.

"So...it's in relation to your job then?" His eyebrows raise. You were taught better than to lie, especially to him. And even if you tried, he would know.

"Kind of." Your response is dancing around the whole truth. "I don't have a lot of time." You say as you briskly walk into your room. It won't be hard to pack since you have been living out of suitcases since you came home from college. Not taking the time to fold your clothes, you shove them all into the collection of duffle bags and luggage.

"I'm confused..." Mom says as she walks into the room.

"There isn't anything to be confused about." Not being able to look at her, you continue to pack your bags rapidly.

"You don't see what's happening here?" Dad directs the question towards mom and then quickly answers for her. "This is about James."

"James?" Still confused, she looks between you and your father.

An exacerbated sigh comes from your mouth as you angerly slam a shirt down into your bag, now glaring at your father.

"So what if it is?" You challenge.

"You know how I feel about him..." Dad keeps a level, monotoned voice as if you were negotiating over a hostage situation. He takes a step forward but you hold your ground.

"And you know how I feel about him, Dad! This is the first time I have felt happy in the year and a half since Luke died!"

Mom stands in the room, looking between the two of you anxiously. Dad sighs, evidently starting to get more annoyed at the thought of you and Bucky together. "Why can't I have this, Dad?" You ask, feeling defeated. "We took a loss as a family, together. We got through it, together. But this is something that I want and I feel as though Luke would be happy for me!"

There's suddenly a knock at the door. Closing your eyes in frustration, you already know who it is. Your head rolls forward and you slip passed your parents and open the door to no other than Bucky. He only takes one step into the doorway, just enough for the screen door to close behind him. He clears his throat, his lips pressed into a thin line.

"Sir." He acknowledges your father only to be met with an intense stare. Well if they're going to have a staring contest, sorry dad but you're going to lose.

“James.” He sternly acknowledges.

Bucky turns to you, leaning in close as his hand gently holds your elbow. “Are you okay?” He asks, concerned. You nod your head looking over at your dad knowing that it’s just an amount of time before one or both of them explode.

“This is a family matter, Barnes.” Heeeere we go.

The scary thing about Bucky is that when he’s mad, he gets quiet. There’s no temper tantrums, no yelling, and no low blows. Thanks to Hydra, he’s an expert at not reacting when under immense pressure. While the circumstances are different, he’s on the defense. Your defense.

“I understand. I just wanted to make sure Y/N’s okay.” Bucky says in the same monotoned voice that your father just used on you a few moments before. “I’m not trying to interject here-“

“So then why are you?” Dad spits, growing angrier by the moment. Bucky standing here might just put him over the edge.

You quickly step between both of them bringing their focus to you. “Enough.” You say blatantly. “Dad… mom.” You take in a deep breath. “This is what I want. He is what I want. If you reject him than you’re rejecting me.”

The two stubborn men in the room are watching each other intently while trying to lay down the unspoken claim of who you actually belong to.

“I’m grabbing my things and we’re leaving. I understand that this might be a lot to take in at once, so I’ll give you time to process. You know how to get in contact with me. I love you guys.”

Reaching down to the floor, you pick up two of your bags. Bucky reaches down as well, slipping his gloved metal arm through all of the handles and picking up the rest of the stuff. He looks like me when I’ve gone grocery shopping and only want to make one trip from the car. And effortlessly of course. He holds the door open for you to walk outside, and follows right behind.

In silence you both pack the car and leave. There is an unspoken tension between the two of you. How did this day go from being so happy, so excited to head into a new journey together, to this?

"Parents usually love me." Bucky says, breaking the silence by trying to be funny.

"I'm sorry." You respond. Bucky shakes his head. "Really, I'm used to these kinds of reactions from people. I think that you're the only one who hasn't run off the moment we met." He admits.

"Still. I can't apologize for him but I can be sorry that you were treated that way."

"Seriously, it's more natural for people to react that way. You're the only one who hasn't, Y/N. That's what makes you so precious to me."

The ball of anxiety in your stomach starts turning into warm butterflies all over again. I don't understand how so many see Bucky as this deadly, soulless person. He has such a big and kind heart. And while yes, he's past is hard to get over, working hard on himself and making amends with everyone he can, speaks volumes about his true self.

"It finally looks as though someone lives in here!" You say, hands on your hips looking around the newly decorated living room.

"Yeeeah." Bucky says as he scratches the back of his head.

"Oh come on. Having me around all the time won't be so bad."

He laughs while taking a few steps closer, wrapping his arms around you. "That sounds terrible, honestly." He jokes, pulling you in closer. You'll never get over just how warm his body feels when pressed to yours, which makes no physical contact feel just that much cooler.

Jumping up, you wrap your legs around his waist, being overcome with the need to be as close to him as you possibly can. Bucky of course supports your weight effortlessly, each palm grabbing a fistful of your ass. Your arms wrap around his neck as you lean in to kiss him. He moves his right middle finger to gently stroke once over your center. Pulling away from the kiss you let out a giggle, "Oh hey."

"Hey." He smirks, resuming the kiss and brings you to the couch. Sitting down with your arms still around each other, you're now straddling him. Your hips instinctively and tentatively start moving forward and back on his lap. A shallow breath escapes Bucky's mouth with a muffled moan underneath. You smile into the kiss and then pull back. He leans back in to continue the kiss but you withdraw further. Confused, he's looking up at you, his eyes pleading.

Shaking your head and grinning, you take your arms away from his neck, your hands wriggling down between your legs and reach of the hem of his jeans. A sharp breath pulls in from his lips as he keeps eye contact with you. Undoing the button and pulling down the zipper painfully slow, you decide to take on the assertive role here. Your power over one of the most feared men in the world, begging at just the very touch of your hands. Just the thought alone is enough to get you off. But neither of us are getting that right now.

Releasing his erection from his boxer briefs, his hips naturally advance towards your hands. And you let your hands drop away from him.

"What-" Bucky starts, but you place an index finger of his lips. "Shh." You coo quietly. "I'm going to do whatever I want." His eyebrows raise in response but he doesn't protest. After giving him a moment to realize that he is now under your control, you spit into your left hand before moving it back down to the small gap between both of your legs. You grip his shaft firmly, but not aggressively. Your hand starts in a leisurely up and down motion.

You take his bare metal hand and place it between your thighs. "Rip them." You say sternly while grasping onto him slightly harder. Following your orders, his fingers move upward to the waistband of your leggings and pulls swiftly downward. The tearing of the fabric makes your entire body tingle. Bucky discards the remnants of your pants onto the floor, leaving your lower half covered only by a thin, lacy piece of fabric.

Raising yourself up while still straddled in his lap, you gently use your hand to maneuver his tip to your only slightly covered opening. He takes a deep breath as his head rolls back to meet with the top of the couch. His hands twitch slightly on your thighs, trying to control the desire to flip around and bend you over the couch.

Now using your left hand, you pull the material to the side and gently glide him in. His hips try to buck up into you, but still having a firm grasp, you hold him in place.

"No." You say strictly, and he reluctantly relaxes. Continuing to slide him in inch by inch he looks up into your eyes. A small moan escapes his mouth once he is fully inside of you.

You pull him in close to your chest, tenderly running your hands through his hair. Aside from your core having the natural tendency to constrict around him, you don't allow your hips to move. Bucky's breathing intensifies just from the sensation of being inside of you along with your nails in his hair. "Not a word." You whisper, still keeping your body rigid, painfully refusing both of you the release that you so desperately want. But the continuation of your hands rubbing through his hair, down his back, and sensually up and down his arms lulls him to sleep right then and there after a while. You grin to yourself, barely being able to contain the excitement you feel for the repercussions you're going to face for this.

Next part

#bucky barnes white wolf #buckybarnes whitewolf wintersoldier #bucky x reader #bucky smut #bucky imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky #bucky barnes #bucky angst #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fic rec #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x reader fluff #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky fic #bucky fluff #bucky x y/n #bucky barns x y/n #james buchanan bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #alpine the cat #winter soldier #james bucky buchanan barnes #winter soldier x reader #winter solider #wintersoldier