#help they’re in my room

[rynmaru]

I have absolutely nothing to offer in terms of art right now but here’s the most horrifying image I’ve ever created of POLLVX 🥲

This jumpscares me in my camera roll when I’m scrolling.

#the gemini paradox #p.o.l.l.v.x. #the p.o.l.l.v.x nhp #lancer #lancer rpg #lancer battlegroup #lancer ttrpg #my oc shit #original character #lancer art #lancer NHP #i really just go feral for nhps #mistakes #cursed edit #help they’re in my room

[s0fter-sin]

it’s the sound that tips him off.

it’s late, half-past hell by his last count, and mactavish knows there shouldn’t be a single soul in the showers this time of night. though he’s sure if he asked, he’d be told a soul isn’t in there.

just a ghost.

he almost chokes on the thick steam filling the locker room; humid and hazy and the perfect cover. or it would be, if the man collapsed in the far stall cared about hiding.

mactavish hates himself a little for the low sigh that falls from his lips. he wishes he wasn't so disappointed; that the promises he's heard over and over and watched be broken as many times hadn't wedged their way into his heart and convinced him that maybe, maybe this could be the time it sticks.

he doesn't know what's worse; the disappointment or the lack of surprise.

he holds his breath through the steam and leans over the limp body; stinging hot water hitting his back, instantly soaking through his clothes and already starting to burn. he flicks the tap enough to take the bulk of the heat out and straightens; a groan startling out of the man beneath him at the sudden lash of tepid water.

mactavish crouches, knees clicking and hooks a hand under his bicep to pull him up straight against the wall. if there was any vomit on his skin, it's been washed away by the pelting stream and he supposes he can count himself lucky for that. he tilts his limp head back and slips his fingers into his mouth; holding down his tongue and ignores the way it lazily jolts under his fingers to check his airway.

clear.

another small victory.

mactavish pulls his fingers out and cups his chin, keeping him tilted up and moves in the way of the water again so he can pull at his eyelid.

the eye he's met with is cloudy, so dilated there's hardly a ring of blue left.

he sighs again; hand falling away and letting his eye fall shut. "god damnit, riley."

riley moans, all his weight resting on the hand holding his jaw.

"aye, 'm talking ‘bout you," he grunts tiredly.

he lets riley's head fall forward to grab his arm, pulling him away from the wall to sit behind him; propping his body up against his chest. he leans his head back over his shoulder, keeping his face out of the water and his airway open just in case he hasn't actually finished throwing up.

he takes the rag riley'd half-managed to soap up and mechanically runs it over him; cataloguing new bruises and cuts and checking if the old ones are healing. sickly yellow fingerprints ring his hips, red splotches paint his ribs; too new to have settled into the deep purple he knows they’ll become.

riley slowly makes more noise as he rubs life into his body; still lying limp against his front but his head's starting to roll restlessly on his shoulder. he swipes between his legs and carefully doesn't think a single thing about what he finds.

"sean?" he rasps and mactavish's hand stills; eyes falling shut. he bites his check, hand clenching around the rag tight enough to shake and breathes hard out his nose.

he doesn't say a word, just forces himself to go back to cleaning.

he's not sure what would come out of his mouth if he did.

riley isn't conscious enough to hear him anyway.

he runs his fingers over his inner elbows for tracks and manages to muster some relief when he doesn't find any. seems to be a pill and booze night; far from the worst condition he's found him in.

he rinses him off, running a curtesy hand over his shaved head only for it to fall back to his jaw; his thumb stroking over the thick scar carved into his cheek.

"you gotta stop doin' this," he whispers.

he isn’t sure if he’s talking to riley or himself.

mactavish gathers up riley's too-light body into his arms and turns off the shower. his head lolls into his throat and he throws a towel over his dripping body and another over his shoulder. it doesn't stop him from tracking water all the way to his quarters but he'd like to see someone try to put in a complaint about it.

he lays out the other towel on the bed and sets riley down; moving his body into the recovery position in an all-too familiar routine. he dries him enough that he won't soak the covers as he pulls them up to his chest and kicks the waste bin within grabbing distance of the bed.

he goes to pull off his sodden clothes when a different noise makes him freeze.

a low sniffle.

mactavish slowly turns back to the bed to find riley's eyes squinting open; glazed with tears as he kneads at the covers.

he stares at him for a moment as he looks around the room and those hazy eyes lock on him for the first time. "cap'n?"

he swallows. "aye; s'just me, riley."

his hand pokes out from under the covers and for all the promises he's made himself - all the “never again”s and “this is the last time”s - at the end of the day, he's weak.

he sits on the side of the bed and takes riley's hand in his; already so cold after nearly boiling himself alive.

"y' mad a' me?" he sniffs.

mactavish runs his tongue over his lip and slowly shakes his head. "no, i'm not mad at you."

"prom'se?" he pushes.

he reaches out and caresses his temple with his thumb. his hand almost covers his head and it cuts like a knife to remember just how small riley is. "aye," he says, hushed. "i promise."

riley's eyes fall shut, voicelessly murmuring 'promise’ to himself over and over.

"I’ll ge’ bett'r," he slurs and between one breath and the next, he's out.

mactavish sighs, running his hand in a final pass over his head and stares at a face that looks so much younger in sleep; bruised and sallow skin hidden in the shadows. "i know you will."

he presses a slow kiss to his forehead, shutting his eyes against the grief that wells in his heart and gets up to pull a chair over to the bed; settling in for another long night's vigil of watching his broken lieutenant sleep, ready to tilt him over if he throws up, eyes locked on the slow rise and fall of his chest fearing tonight may finally be the time it stops.

#drug use #tw drugs #guess whos back on her 09 shit #its me bb!!! #anyway 09 ghost who’s just completely messy #if he’s not on an op then he’s at clubs drinking & taking anything he can get his hands on #mactavish knows what he gets up to and hates it #hates watching him destroy himself stumbling back to base with no memory of what - or who - he’s done #hates seeing him prod at bruises knowing he has no idea where they came from #mactavish is more pissed that whoever riley was with just left him like that and that riley is totally fine with it happening #more than once he's found him almost od'ing half passed out in his room or the showers #and every time riley will slur out apologies and promises mactavish knows better to believe #riley knows how much it hurts mactavish to see him like this but its just so painful to live in his head #he can’t help but try and get out of it the only way he knows how #this is pre relationship btw just to make it all hurt a little more #ghost never remembers how he ends up back in his own bed after a bender #the whole point of them is to forget #he’ll end up missing days at a time and never question what happened to him in the meantime #if he thinks hard enough sometimes he can pick up flashes of a familiar voice rasping in his ear and big hands moving his body #but it’s hard for him to believe they’re anymore than drug induced hallucinations of what he really wants #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #talk to me ghost #we’re a team. ghost team #09 soapghost #09 ghoap #soapghost #john soap mactavish #soap cod #simon ghost riley #ghost cod

[why-the-heck-not]

the evolution of some christmas presents

#now they’re currently very creepily in minigrip bags in my fridge lmao #with the gift bag and all #bc I don’t wanna keep them at room temp (stays good for longer in the fridge) but worried about condensation & paper bags #plus also the fridge smell bc paper bag obv aren’t airtight #but minigrip bags? hell ye babeyy #hoping that’ll help to not have ’’soggy’’ paper bags lol #bookblr #studyblr #booklr #aesthetic #books #study #reading #read #book #winter aesthetic #christmas #dark academia #december 2023 #2023

[jkooktray]

They are not reading

#imagine they’re in like a home library because chuuya would not let Dazai have his grippers out in public #they own either a separate floor or room and they collect books together #9 times out of 10 I always want to add some animalistic feature like tails when I draw them #there’s an alternate frame where I couldn’t help myself and gave Dazai bunny ears #I keep drawing him with rabbitish feet #chuuyas socks have slugs on them I just forgot #bsd #skk #bungou stray dogs #bsd fanart #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai #my art 2023

[kicktwine]

made a ninjago oc but all it wants to do is party

its name is WULFTRAX (all caps) and it’s playing this with zane extra info belooowww

pronouns: IT'S PRONOUNCED WOLF TRACKS LITTLE MAN (it/he/they) species: WULFTRAX. digital? like, it HAS skin, and a skeleton, presumably, just… not a human head. likes: game, rave dislikes: no rave wants: to party character motivation: biggest loudest party backstory: we think it came from prime empire, but that’s all we got. maybe an unused rhythm game dj…? strengths: WULFTRAX does everything at 100%, and it doesn’t tend to stick around after a fight. it isn't fighting to win, it's fighting to go hogwild. on its back are one to six doc ock-like arms made of wire and interwoven with the stuff in season 9 that triggered everyone’s elemental powers. weaknesses: can only attack on the beat, will only fight if there’s music. it’s actually not that strong, its robot arms and machinery do all the fighting. it prefers to fight/party using someone else — elementals party pretty hard, all their colors and glowing and exploding is its favorite. alignment: very chaotic neutral. it does things on impulse and regardless of morals. he doesn’t seem to want to hurt anyone, just wants to party, and if hurting someone is how you gotta party, shrug! you can sway him pretty easily with the promise of a better rave. it’s not that clever, there is no scheming with this thing, but it does somehow get a lot of machinery and builds massive batteries and speakers and light shows

speech conventions: IT TALKS LIKE A FRAT BOY MET A CHRONICALLY ONLINE GAMER. NOT THE MOST COMPLICATED SENTENCES LMAO.

it also yells like everything it says due to the speakers in its mouth. its favorite people to mess with are kai, jay and lloyd. they have the shiniest explodiest powers, and are more split-second competitive.

#WULFTRAX #my art #‘I have made an oc to help/be friends with the ninja’ I have made an oc to fight them. I have made an oc to pummel them #people have done this before HAHDIDBDHDH except WULFTRAX is 1) a horrible fighter and 2) stupid #ninjago #ninjago oc #honestly it’s definitely someone you could/should use as a henchman. He won’t even realize. He will also destroy your lair #and then go OH MY BAD DUDE and that’s the end of that topic. Now it’s in your fridge #the second two images — it wanted to play DDR with jay and then went BRO YOU WANNA HELP WITH THIS SET so now Zane tricked it into - #bargaining to let jay out of the battery and it immediately agreed and then said WE’RE PLAYING OSU and didn’t leave room for argument so #now zane is playing a rhythm game he’s never played to let jay AND KAI out of the batteries and stop the rest of them from dying in #human osu! which was going to be its dance floor (it forgot people die when they’re hit by lightning) #And ALSO now they should probably stop it from holding the most dangerous rave #if the stuff they have is enough to send an elemental into superpowered overdrive it’s probably not healthy for a regular dude #as a meta note. #it’s obsessed w thrillseeking and adrenaline because he’s been alone for so so long that any new sensations are obsession-worthy #obsessed with feeling things and being real. doesn’t know how to regulate its obsession with something bc it has no sense of moderation #its primary purpose is to make big noise big party like programmed into it is its DJ sets. So now it makes the biggest loudest brightest #sets not understanding that this much noise/power can hurt someone or itself bc hurt is in fact an interesting sensation to it #it doesn’t KNOW this or underSTAND it. And it wouldn’t listen if told. BUT! that’s its pathology #IT HAS NO CONCEPT OF DEATH THERE IS NO THIS IS TOO DANGEROUS. THERE IS ONLY DA PORTY #it and porty mk would be besties #rule of cool with this thing. its cars are big its sets are big its music is loud and it’s got a giant flamethrower and a piano to drop #It broke from its programming but that doesn’t mean it broke from its programming yfeel #hrmmm.... yes........ self indulgent shiny loud digital dogmanthing #ill tag three of em theyre getting situations #kai smith #zane julien #jay walker

[cyberr-v0id]

For the love of all things beyond human comprehension can someone please please just tell me what is wrong with my brain and why I act and think like this and why nobody has ever thought I’m normal except when they’re trying to deny that there’s something wrong

#cyberr speaks #vent #rant #brain #there is something wrong with me #✨psychologically✨ #and I need help that I will never get #gods I just want to know what it is #I’m so tired of always playing this guessing game #of #‘is my inability to keep my room tidy just laziness or a mental block of some kind’ #of ‘why can’t I just stay focused for one second’ #of ‘oh hell I just zoned out’ #of ‘I’ve been surpressing this thing for so long that I no longer know if it’s a real thing i experience #or if I’m just making it up’ #of ‘is this a melt down or I’m really just that weak as to cry all the time’ #of ‘why am #getting these thoughts. they’re not me’ #of ‘why aren’t I like them. why don’t people like me. why can’t I just act like them. why do they think I’m weird. what’s wrong with me’ #what’s wrong with me #always the same question #over and over and over and over #and over #again

[i-just-really-like-renga]

out of context lines from my renga wip 3/?

#sk8 #sk8 the infinity #renga #fanfic #diversity win! #your gay main character is: a terrible communication who suffers from DumbBitch Disease #and just said something super fucked #like oh my god #Langa wtf #even I was shocked #also please help this bitch is about to be 10k words and they’re just in one room

[theramblingsofadork]

“Before I met you, I didn’t think I was even capible of real happiness.”

“But all that changed when you walked into my life…”

More wholesome Rivetline art!! 💜🤍💜🤍💜

I don’t know if this is pre or post IDW, but I wanted to draw them being happy. (*´∇｀*)

Rivet is an affectionate snuggler, and she’s the only one Starline will forgive for messing up his usually pristine fur. 🤍

#they’re so in love help me #but it’s the deep and warm kind of comforting love #theyre oxytocin to each other #not me out here headcanoning that Starline is touch starved and Rivet loves to snuggle him when given the chance #if Starline needs his room shell keep distance #but when he needs some comfort or love shes more than happy to give it to him #rivet also purrs a lot when shes happy #shes definitely purring right now #sonic the hedgehog 2 reference whoop whoop #i heard that line and immediately thought of these two #snuggles and comfy feelings #i am weak #sonic #sonic idw #dr starline #sonic oc #starline the platypus #my art #rivet the cat #unnamed au #Rivetline #oc x canon #digital art #sonic the hedgehog

[potter-pavlikovsky-popchyk]

listen and think of them pls

#Have I posted these all here before? Yes. Should you all still emo cry circle jam to them yes so do so #Get in bitch we’re diving back into Boreo feels (for writing purposes so yn it’s fiiiine it’s healthy even to emo sometimes right?) #He asks as if it’s change a thing if it wasnt #Lmfaooo okay but listen listen I plan the sad music first theeeen my dance music and workout #I get emo feels out after I promie fr I do it smooth brain style big smov brain haver I am! Okay! #boreo #boris pavlikovsky #the goldfinch #tgf #theo decker #theodore decker #theo i’m not gay decker #donna tartt #boreo music #And hey hey I included a song to end on that will help you “life… eh?” It because for me is Boris getting high w/Potter #Spotify #Also bedroom ceiling song UGHHH could just see sm to that aibsejwudhbsjf not emo about it actually how perfect it is and and #Def don’t imagine them both talking to their moms when they get drunk or high enough not to judge themselves about it #Asking them for guidance maybe just in their heads at first but the more they’re stressed the more they just can’t push off the want stuck #In their throat to just fucking ask them out loud till one night they just let out all slurred and embarrassed in the dark of their room #Omfg I miiiight need to have thiiiis in Forget about Kotku fuckkn hellllll #5seconds later I’m like yes no I will I think lol I need happy endings for my boys always and wasn’t sure how I would get there but thiiis #Mmmmm it’s giving me ideas in making that idea ages back I got from that Russian Facebook post I shared of writing love letters to someone #Sleeping cause you can’t tell em that rn and I just hmmmm *meme of ghoul boys*:IVE CONNECTED THE DOTS my brain: you ain’t connect shit

[pinkfey]

sometimes.. my in laws.. aggravate me..

#my partner got covid from a patient at work a little over a week ago #he double masks but i think it’s bc eris is just so contagious #anyways his little sibling also got it and his parents like. didn’t make them mask around the house they’re just coughing all over the place #and when he talked to his dad and stepmom they were like you’re making too big of a deal about this #and sent his little brother to school without a mask while he was complaining about a sore throat #this past week they were sooooo adamant nick is being too paranoid but lo and behold now his dad AND brother have it #in addition to his sibling #now all of a sudden they’re like you’re right this is awful and they’re doing research #and it’s like?????? crazy it’s almost like he works in the emergency department and helps covid patients every day #and you should’ve listened to him in the first place !! #like nick was the only one who quarantined himself in his room when he got it #i just oughhhhhhhhh. it’s not the kids fault it’s mostly his dad that drives me insane. anyways. ugh. #WHATEVER. i stay silly :3 #anyways.txt #delete later

[msfcatlover]

Eye!Tim being benched & bored, and deciding to experiment with his powers. He shows up to his next patrol three weeks later with a stack of daguerreotypes of all his favorite bat-photos and the last of the blue drained out of his eyes.

#tma crossover #batfam #batfam crossover #baby stalker Tim Drake #tim drake #timothy drake #robin #robin!tim #robin tim drake #Eye aligned Tim Drake #batman #my writing #mine #// #I wrote the line ‘’quicksilver eyes’’ when I was first trying to describe Tim in this AU. The line got cut but I love the image #Tim with his glassy eyes that don’t reflect color quite right (you know the way colors look reflected in camera lenses right?) creating this #optical illusion of iridescence. People assumes they’re blue because they’re strikingly pale & light; blue’s the only color they could be. #But they’re not blue. They’re silver. True silver; metallic. Nearly white in a well-lit room. Nearly black down in the cave. #He doesn’t have tapetum lucidum not truly (the reflected light doesn’t help him see) but it’s easily mistaken for that #(especially because Tim /can/ see through his cameras and several of them have night vision so he does still see in the dark) #when up against people who fight the supernatural it’s an excellent bluff; they assume Tim’s powers are more animalistic that he’s more #aligned with the Hunt than the Eye. An assumption amplified by the fact Dick /is/ a Hunter & Jason played into it when he was Robin. #(Jason was human up until his death. Bruce & Dick worked very hard to keep him that way and keep him safe. They regretted it after.) #So when someone captures Robin if they know Robin is more than human all their precautions are set up for Hunters. Not Watchers. #(And definitely not Swarms but Damian’s his own can of worms—pun unintended—which I’m not going to get into here.)

[milo-is-rambling]

I can’t even imagine living without anxiety. Like. How. What?

#I mean if I woke up tomorrow with a normal amount of anxiety it would be a shocking difference to my daily life. and I am medicated!!! like. #what? am I missing something here? #my mom tells me that meds can only do so much and that they’re really just meant to make it so you can get out of bed every day #but now I’m wondering like is that true or is that my mom is on the wrong dose herself and something could be done to help us both #gahhhhh idk I just feel helpless bc I’m scared of making big changes and the big changes have to make are scary and large and I need a #bulleted list made of things I can do (and break down into very small steps) to actually progress in a positive way in my life instead of #being SO afraid and SO stagnant. it’s been six months since (ptsd diagnosis causing thing) and I don’t feel like I’ve made any progress even #with a therapist. I’m working towards a more intensive program but I feel like it’s almost making me feel more alienated bc I’d have to like #go be surrounded by other mentally ill people and medical people which brings dad dying trauma and like I know I’m running from it bc I’m #afraid to face the changes I need to make and the feelings that are going to come up but fuck man can’t I get some fucking meds that make #this easier to deal with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grief and ptsd and long term isolation and anxiety and chronic pain like fuck it’s #so exhausting!!!! I feel like I’m fucking fighting thru life and then from the outside it’s like I’m doing nothing cause I stay in my room #and get stoned and play animal crossing and watch tv and cry and over eat and sometimes I drive around in circles so I can scream sing until #my throat burns and I get a headache and everything finally quiets down in my head for a second. I know I look like I’m doing nothing and #that’s because I am doing nothing but waiting for the next time a mental health professional will talk to me for an hour like it’s so sad #anyways. you ever take a big dab and then start crying and type all of this like it’s an epiphany even tho it’s things you already know. #honestly crying in front of the air conditioner is so slay slight breeze over my face cooling the tears the white noise calming me down

[zouisalmightie]

apparently my admin think im a bad teacher because i sit down while i teach. that was their complaint. because i sit down. mind you im not sitting the entire period but because im not standing for 7 hours im not good at my job.

im the fucking department head and create the lessons for my entire grade level, i present my lessons in a way that make sense to my students, i teach the fucking honors students!!!, my lessons are rigorous but within the students ability level do you know how hard it is to juggle that for 137 kids? i contact parents to update them, i have the best behavior management to the point where i help other teachers ways to manage the different personalities in the room, over 75% of my students are passing with a B or higher, i have kids coming to my class all day cuz they know im the person in the building that will give them a second of my time. but im a bad teacher because i sit down.

#mind you i have chronic pain i had to disclose in order to get fmla protection so they know why i sit down #it makes me so mad like #if I quit y’all would be in fucking SHAMBLES #and im a bad teacher because i sit down #and i sit because my students behave in my room the same kid that’s throwing pencils in another room is sitting quietly in my room doing #their fucking work im not sitting and the room is in chaos and the kids are running around #im sitting when its calm and im actively giving them information #I don’t circulate when im teaching cuz i get distracted and they don’t need me to because they’re paying attention!! #they’re behaving!! if they have a question they’re not afraid to raise their hand or yell out to me for help #they know that im going to listen to them to come to them when they need me #and I teach eight graders they’re not fucking babies I don’t need to hold their hands! #im so mad im so fucking mad

[iwri]

As much as I love the thought of the ‘Texas barging into the other’s room unannounced, but welcomed nonetheless’ thing being exclusive to Alaska, I can’t help but think ab how funny it would be he did it to damn-near everyone.

Like “oh yeah, Texas really doesn’t like being alone most of the time so like— lock your door if you don’t want him coming in and crashing on your chair/bed/couch”

The Lone Star state can’t handle being lonely 😔✋

#welcome to the table #wttsh #wttsh texas #it doesn’t have to be just Texas that does this either #if the others don’t want Florida to come into their room and drag them into his schemes they lock their door #otherwise they’re fair game to participate in chaos #if you’re in one of the common areas of the house be prepared to be used as a pillow by Georgia #or become victim to California’s info-dumping #just— the dynamics of this house #and all of them operating as a family #enough to bring tears to my eyes #if you’re in the kitchen when 6PM rolls around you’re helping with dinner #no ifs ands or buts ab it #i might make a whole post just for the dynamics of the statehouse

[arolesbianism]

I’ve been thinking abt one of my older oni colonies and decided to doodle my first three dupes in that save

#keese draws #oxygen not included #but yeah these guys were my main scientist digger and rancher respectively #this was one of my actual spaced out style saves so ofc I chose the cold asteroid still #it was painful opening this save again to look at their traits as it was basically my first longer attempt #let’s just say I had no idea what I was doing and ran out of power literally everywhere #might do a rescue attempt on this save tbh sounds like a fun challenge #but yeah I actually have characterizations for most of the dupes in this save in my head they’re like semi ocs to me #they’re the ones I like to imagine fumbling about post olivia entering sleep mode #cause there’d be such a harsh contrast in how they’d all react and move forwards #burt in particular would take it rly hard mostly because he’s the only scientist #so everyone ends up looking to him for answers and help and he just doesn’t know how to provide any of it #he had already spent so long feeling overworked and under appreciated so this wouldn’t help at all #quinn on the other hand is generally more optimistic as they have gone through a lot of rough shit and made it out on the other side #so they see this as an obstacle they’ll all overcome and grow stronger from #they’re also just very used to being suddenly forced to say goodbye to people for potentially forever #harold was almost relieved by the whole event because it lead to a lot less activity in the neural chip network #which is in fact a big source of panic for most of the dupes but harold pretty much exclusively goes to like 3 rooms so he’s not as effected #he also just doesn’t like the noise of the hundreds of commands that he can’t even follow #he just manages the plants and the pips and sometimes helps with the cooking #he honestly really likes the freedom of figuring out what to do without instruction #as the pip farm he manages is very. well let’s just say pips tend to starve in there a lot #yknow thankfully I did give these guys a bunch of phones so at least they’d be able to still know what’s up with eachother still #still an uncomfortable feeling loosing that connection that you’ve been relying on for years

[oh-gh0st]

#ghosts rambles #my. period started just a few minutes ago #my cramps are so bad this time oh my gos #i cant go get advil. its in siblings room. they’re sleeping. ffufckckk #it hurts so bad i can feel my head going fuzzy as i would call it #doesnt help ive stayed up waaayy past when i wanted to #urgh…. ill try and relax but oh my god do i wanna fucking rip out my uterus rn #sorry for gross stuff. complainging about being a woman to cope. u can skip this