#hmmmm do I *want* to tag everyone?

[comickergirl]

Really liked Lazarus Planet! So, you know. Had to draw a silly comic. XD Joke stolen from 30 Rock. 

#my art #silly comic #dc comics #damian wayne #robin #lazarus planet #lazarus planet alpha #hmmmm do I *want* to tag everyone? #let's give it a shot #cyborg #vic stone #supergirl #kara zor el #mary marvel #mary bromfield #power girl #karen starr #blue devil #blue beetle #jaime reyes #zatanna zatara #monkey prince #marcus shugel shen #talia al ghul #batman #bruce wayne #OKAY #I think that's everyone #also I know Mary's captain marvel at this point but...you know #*gestures at general hubbub surrounding the character name*

[alisaint]

sometimes characters are written so spectacularly that it's almost like there's nothing for anyone else to say bc the author already said it all. like what analysis can you provide that the author didn't already weave into their work. characters that are written so well that all you can do is carry them with you because they speak for themselves. characters that are so wonderful you don't even feel the need to come up with headcanons or anything bc the source material already fed you and stuffed you. i'm speaking of ms katniss everdeen here of course btw

#like. wow . the kind of character that makes you want to sit on the back porch on one of those plastic white chairs with a cigarette #ms collins how did you do that...... #like imma be real i aint ever read a post about her that wasn't just a watered down ELI5 version of what was already in the book #which sounds mean. sorry. but i just mean really that like. there's nothing to add bc it rly is just already There #ms collins did her thing and everyone has been trying and failing to copy her since 🚬😮‍💨 #is this a relatable post. do i tag it. hmmmm #thg #katniss everdeen

[ddanmeissu]

i need someone i can yell at about my very niche tma au ;w;

(see me playing fast and loose between tma lore and mdzs canon under the cut wheeee~)

this is part headcanon, part drabble, all-around mess. just dont think too hard about it please

the classification of each entity isn’t fully documented yet, smirke’s 14 doesn’t exist, but each major clan has a specific fear that called their founders. there are also some entities haven’t been identified yet so a lot of fears bleed into each other 

they’re still cultivators here. they’re cultivating fear.

golden cores are the physical manifestation of your connection with your god within your body. the more you feed it, the more connected you are to your patron, the more powerful you become.

each clan is a powerhouse to a specific entity but their disciples can be touched by multiple entities (and honestly, i cant make everyone a slaughter avatar) only the sect leader needs to be fully devoted to their fear god

Gusu Lan = Beholding, Qinghe Nie = Slaughter, Yunmeng Jiang = Hunt, Lanling Jin = Stranger, and Qishan Wen = Desolation

wei wuxian was once heavily touched by the hunt. his mother a famous Huntress and rogue cultivator and his father a servant and close friend to the sect of The Everchase

jiang cheng’s Hunt core is slightly weaker but its fine because they are of the same pack. they are partners, brothers in everything but blood, and will hunt down anyone who dares to hurt the other.

jiang yanli isn’t an avatar, not marked by the hunt but touched by the Hive, manifesting more on the love/belonging and family aspect rather than the filth aspect

i have more Thots about the family aspects between hive/hunt and how they are both very possessive on who they call their Persons but expresses it different ways that mirror jyl and jc but that’s for a different post

during their time in the cloud recesses they meet a quiet watcher who wwx immediately zones in on him as his new “prey”.

lan wangji is silent and knowledgeable as is expected from a disciple of the beholding, but there is a certain chill around him that other eye avatars do not have

wwx stalks the poor boy, pounces on him whenever he manages to catch him alone, and is just a general disturbance all-around.

he does not feel the Eyes that sometimes watch him when he is alone.

lan xichen does not need the beholding’s power to see the way his brother looks at the young hunter disciple. he is pleased to feel the cold surrounding the jingshi has lessened. shufu seems perplexed and torn.

wwx’s also has his eye on jin zixuan, the pompous plastic peacock that’s engaged to his shijie. he isn’t actually allowed to hunt him down so he settles on dismembering the lifeless mannequins that he uses as servants.

(playing with the timeline here) they get kicked out when a text is destroyed within the Library Pavilion even though it was just a pornography book (any kind of knowledge is still knowledge) and even though it was lwj who destroyed it (the eye had punished him severely for that).

the desolation!wen are attempting to bring The Scourged Earth into the world. they burn down the cloud recesses “in the name of ‘cleaning up the place’ so that it would be ‘reborn from the firelight.’” ( - directly from the mdzs wiki)

the xuanwu of slaughter is an ancient manifestation of, well, the slaughter and cannot be reasoned with.

(”Lan Zhan, can you See anything?” “No. My connection with The Beholding has been greatly severed.” “Oh. well.. Uh, it’s kinda foggy in here huh? Here have my outer robe, you look kinda cold.” “…Mn.”)

lotus pier burns and jiang cheng loses his core. wwx asks flesh!wen qing for help because only an avatar of the flesh (the boneturner, though that isn’t its name yet) is able to carve open another avatar long enough to take something out and place it somewhere else.

jiang cheng immediately becomes a fully-fledged avatar using wwx’s hunt-influenced core. it manifests as strong bloodlust against the wens, fear of being seen as weak prey by the other clans, (and later, hunting down wwx and other end-aligned cultivators.)

wwx gets thrown in the burial mounds. he is dead for three whole months. and then he wakes up.

his hunter core is gone but that’s fine. he is alive not because he wants to but because he has to. when he is awake, he calls upon the dead to exact his revenge. the wens are defeated and everyone is in frightened awe of the new being that he has unwillingly become. when he is asleep, black tendrils of death plague his dreams. He relives the horrible memories of his own and others’ deaths. sometimes he can feel someone watching him but cannot see them in return.

wei wuxian is alive but he is not part of jiang cheng’s pack anymore. he does not follow them out on hunts anymore, doesn’t even bother to stay within the residences. he isn’t part of their pack anymore, abandoned their patron for something else more powerful, and for what? he feels resentment brewing inside him. resentment and fear.

wwx knew not to trust the polished and waxed faces of the jins. all the wen remnants are non-avatars, barely touched by anything other than the fear the jins had instilled by themselves. they do not deserve this cruelty, to be both entertainment and livestock for the rest of the cultivation world. it is true that death comes for everyone, but wwx will not let these people die at the hands of these strangers.

the wens become touched by the End during their stay in the burial mounds. wen ning, with flute music playing in his head, wins an archery game against Death and finally wakes.

 one day a cold mist surrounds yilling when wwx takes a-yuan out on a stroll. He loses him but finds him again clinging to a man in white robes that looks like he wants to disappear. wwx feels himself smile brightly at the sight. (”lan zhan! it’s so nice to see you again! It’s been so cold out today but luckily it’s warmer now!” “Mn.” “You really blend in with the fog with those white robes of yours. it’s okay though because i’m sure i can find you wherever you disappear to!” “Mn.”)

qiongqi path becomes a massacre of plastic mannequins and not!beings. the smell of death and manufactured flesh fill the air like an offering to his unwanted patron, and black tendrils surround wwx and his assailants. It blinds him and he can’t see it, can’t control it, can’t stop it as jin zixuan is pierced through his chest and falls to the ground, dead.

the clans are outraged. they speak in fear of him, they hear of his power over life and death and that he, like the wen fugitives by his side, is trying to bring about his patron into the world. they call for an attack, a bloodbath to take him down once and for all.

and a bloodbath it is. the entire cultivation world against a one-man army. fear rings high in the air and all the Entities are well fed in the aftermath, the most satisfied: Slaughter and (paradoxical to their intent) The End.

later, much later, when the siege is over and nothing is left of his anchor other than a small child marked by death, lwj accepts the punishment lashes and then goes into cold seclusion. the jingshi is completely covered by clouds of fog. no one can See him, the elders only get a debilitating headache when they try to pry too hard. not even lxc, who has become the Eye’s most devoted avatar, can know his brother’s whereabouts. only lan yuan seems to able to navigate through the dense gloom.

the world moves on

jin guangyao’s wide smiles are not conspicuous within the plastic faces and painted lips within lanling jin. If his limbs are too long or if his smile a bit distorted or if he disappears through a bright yellow door and doesnt come back then no one makes mention of it.

No one also notices the webs above them hidden in the high ceilings of lanling jin nor the tiny spiders that skitter around the gossiping servants, spinning and weaving threads of thick silk around them.

it takes years for his brother to come out from the fog and lxc nearly weeps at the knowledge that The Lonely had not forsaken another member of his family. still, lwj has changed. there is a certain chill around him now that persists wherever he goes. though he has always been silent since childhood, his silence now is cold and unfeeling, eyes faraway as if not seeing those around him and only floating through the days. He is not completely alone though and that is enough to alleviate some of xichen’s worries. 

time abates some wounds but certainly not all. there is still an empty cold pit in lwj’s chest but it does not bleed as freely as it did 10 years before. Before, he would have readily disappeared into the fog when the elders comes to look for him, now he chooses to disappear from the cloud recesses and absconds into night hunts. he goes wherever the chaos is, seeking (but not willing to hope) that he might find something that can stir the deadness in his heart.

tbc ?

#rotating this au hard and fast in my mind's eye #i actually dont know the overlap between the mdzs and tma fandoms but im just assuming there isnt much ??? #i kinda got too into it at the end there i didnt know where to stop lmao im sorry im pulling all of this outta my ass dskfjhkdhfk #i still have so many Thoughts for this au and cute lil scenes between these avatar fledgelings #i promise its not all Angst its just that lonely!lwj is a very good source of inspo #is this a fix it? maybe. maybe not. #on one hand i want everyone (except jgs and zixun) to love and be happy #on the other hand lonely!lwj is the entire reason why i thought of this au in the first place #according to the wiki the chinese name for cloud recesses means 'somewhere unknown deep in the clouds' #which is Peak Lonely vibes but i didnt find that out until after i wrote this oops #beholding!gusu lan is staying tho bc i love lonelyeyes!lwj hehe #i almost wrote an entire backstory in the tags about madame lan and how wangji inherited her Loneliness dhsdfkhd #i'll write that on a different post this one is long enough #LANLING JIN IS STRANGER ALIGNED BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL CLOWNS #i was thinking of jzx being replaced by a not!them after qiongqi ambush but hmmm maybe thats for another au hmmmm many thoughts #funfact! in MAG113 decker mentions that only a Hunter can kill an avatar of the End so. do what you will with that knowledge :) #OH HEY I JUST REMEMBERED WWX TOLD LWJ TO 'GET LOST' WHEN LWJ TRIED TO SAVE HIM DURING THE FIRST SEIGE JUST BEFORE HE DIED SO :)))) #MY LONELY!LWJ HEADCANON IS GOING STRONG #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #should i tag this as tma? nah #anyways here just take this

[itissadbutitsmy-artblog]

no one cares about them as much as me but by golly do i care them. puts them in Situations

#wip #i posted this in discord and thought it was funny #like wow look at that. i put. skeletons under there. and everything. for this? these idiots? i have a devastating au for them #multiple. dear lord #i want everyone to know when i added this to my queue?????? not even one picture of them had popped out of the queue yet. #YELLS about my stupid long queue. i draw too much. i was unemployed for a long time and had nothing to do! #hmmmm how do i wanna tag wips. ill just tag character names in case someone has them blacklisted or is desperate for content #blaine #spader #no one trawls MAIN TAGS for those regularass names

[sammy-witha-c]

Obligatory Artfight post with some of my favs I did for team Bloom! I had a load of fun this year, really excited to be nearly finished haha. Here’s the credits from top to bottom, left to right, character / piece name to owner(check these people out! they’re super talented).

Besties lineup: @profcarrot on here

Oak and Alden: @spooqy-squary on here

Makana: rhys-sand on Artfight

Metao, Hollis, and Gray: @marblebrains on here

Berry and Jam: @dustandmarbles on here

Brook: Kuleaya on Artfight

#artfight #artfight 2022 #bloom vs wither #i would've said everyone's AFs too but some don't have them listed on this website? so i don't wanna like. #out anyone VGFBHDKJSL #my username is still_sammy btw! #sorry for not saying it sooner. i'm sure all you people who follow me for my art and my art only are so heartbroken rn <3 #jkjkjk i know what yall want. will be shitposting about silly dads again soon! #sammy.speaks #do i have an art tag??? i don't think i do. hmmmm #sammy.spirals #there! that's it that's the art tag LMAO #i have a pixel art mass attack i'm proud of too but that would be tagging like. so many people. and i am already sleepy. so! thats 4 me only #hoping next year i can do more pattern background stuff and maybe some more pixels #lotsa fun!

[an-internet-introvert]

Me running through the logistics of me watching the WAD livestream:

#please ignore me in the tags as I convince myself I can do this #I wanna watch it just because it’s been like a year since I have seen WAD and I want to see it again #I also wanna watch it with everyone #but it’s just like how much data will I need #will I even have a good signal to be able to stream it because fuck knows how good of a signal I’ll get across the ditch #the whole being awake at like 6am and having minimal sleep will just add to the energy I believe #I know that it is available for 48 hours after but I will still be overseas for the 48 hours #and I highly doubt I will get time to watch it during that time #so live is really the only time it works #because it’s so early and everyone else will be asleep #I also know there will be *other* sources of it after #but I want to watch the slitining with everyone because I know the match slits will kill me #maybe it will be a decision for me when I am actually across the ditch #and I can actually scope out the situation #hmmmm #I know I’m gonna do it I just need to convince myself this is the right choice

[russellsppttemplates]

I don't think you'll ever have to find out (Carlos Sainz)

The lack of contract for next season has been pushing Carlos to extremes and friends and family have noticed it

Note: english is not my first language. First Carlos big piece 🫶 I hope you enjoy reading it 😊

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: mentions some anxiety and burnout symptoms

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog @hiireadstuff @c-losur3

"Hmmmm", you hummed as you felt the mattress move a little before the warm sheets approached your body instead of the warm body that laid under them before.

"Shh, it's just me, cariño", Carlos lulled you, "go back to sleep, it's still early", he kissed your forehead softly as the tucked you in properly.

"Where are you going since it's still early then?", you wondered groggily, "I'm going for a run, I'll be back to have breakfast with you, okay? I love you", he kissed your forehead again before he grabbed his workout clothes and stepped into the ensuite.

When you woke up a few hours later, you could hear water running from the shower, assuming Carlos had got back from his run.

Opening the windows and pulling the sheets to the end of the bed so the whole room could air out, you put on your slippers and one of your boyfriend's hoodies, heading downstairs to start on breakfast. After a quick look at the meal plan left by his trainer, you retrieved the ingredients from the pantry and fridge, toasting, whisking and flipping what you needed to when you heard footsteps joining you on the kitchen.

"Good morning, beautiful", Carlos said as he hugged you from your back, his lips kissing under your ear softly before he looked at what you were making, "smells nice", he murmured before you turned your head slightly so you could kiss his cheek.

"Here you go", you smiled as you handed Carlos the plates to carry to the table while you carried your drinks.

"Gracias, my love", he smiled back as he sat down, taking a sip from his mug and starting light conversation between you two.

"I need to go to the school to get some forms from the secretariat service and some of the kids' tests I forgot to bring home", you began telling him your plans for the day, "I'll mark them when I get home, but we might have some time to spend together in the afternoon".

"I have a meeting with my engineers to analyse data and then I have a sponsor event as well, I have to go there, give an interview and hang around for a bit - I think I'm going to be home for dinner though", he explained his schedule, "but you can use the office, don't worry", he smiled, kissing the top of your head once he finished eating, taking both plates with him back to the kitchen.

"I love you, handsome, have a good day!", you said, kissing his lips once you left the house, knowing he wasn't going to be there when you arrived back from school.

The secretariat services were quicker than usual in getting you the paperwork you needed so you were able to go to your classroom next. As you were making sure everything was in place and none of the kids had left anything out during the holidays, you looked for the tests.

"Hi, Y/N! What are you doing here?", your colleague from the classroom next to yours wondered after she announced her presence with a light knock on your door.

"Hello! I could ask you the same thing, hm?", you chuckled, "I left the tests here and they're not going to mark themselves", you waved the folder in your hand.

"Carlos isn't racing this week?", she asked. You had been classroom buddies for over five years so you had gotten to know eachother pretty well and felt comfortable enough around eachother to ask such questions.

"No, he's racing next weekend though, I'm flying out to see him and then flying back in a hurry so I can teach without taking many days off", you offered.

"Sounds good then! Good luck with all of those, my little ones had some trouble with these last tests, I must say", she added.

"I haven't even looked at them properly to be honest, but I'm sure they did their best", you recalled, waving at her as she said goodbye before putting everything you needed in your bag and leaving as well.

When you arrived back home, you walked straight to the office, arranging your desk in a way that your organisation system worked: to be marked, marked, and the double checked tests, along with space for you laptop so you could insert the data straight on the platform.

The pause you had for lunch was spent on the balcony, soaking up the sun rays while you ate and allowed your mind to escape the math problems and the water cycle drawings your little ones made.

It started when you were a teenager and wanted to earn a little extra money, wanting to buy things yourself and the small independence that came with it, so you started offering help to your neighbours' kids with their homework in exchange of a small amount of money. Over the years, it got a little more serious and grew outside of your neighbourhood because you enjoyed it so much and the kids and their parents loved the work you did, and when it to came to choosing a career you'd see yourself working in happily, teaching little ones sounded perfect. Years later, it still brought a smile to your face every single day.

You were measuring the rice quantity for you and Carlos when he arrived, "cariño, are you in the kitchen?", you heard him ask once he shut the door.

"Yes, my love, just getting dinner ready", you called back, washing your hands once you were done while he stepped closer to you. Drying your hands on a kitchen towell, you left it on the counter once your boyfriend joined you in the room, "did you have a good day?", you mumbled against his lips before stealing a big kiss from him.

"It was good, did what needed to be done, and you? Are your little geniuses getting good grades this term?", he smiled, lacing his arms around your waist and pulling you closer to him.

"They did so well! I'm so proud of them, they barely had any spelling mistakes and they drew these pretty drawings on the side - I have to show you, come look!", you pulled his hand to follow you to the office, feeling his tiredness in his movements and stalling, "I can show you later - how about a cuddle in the sofa while dinner cooks?", you suggested as you noticed him nod, "sounds nice", he kissed your hand as you pulled him to the living room, letting you rest your body against his for a little bit as he told you a little more about his day.

"Sounds tiring", you mumbled, tracing random shapes on his clothed chest, "it's fine, part of the job", he shrugged as he looked at his watch, "dinner should be ready soon, no? I'll help you with the table", he kissed your forehead before you got up and sorted the meal for the two of you.

By the time you were done, cleaning up was easy and quick. Carlos suggested you retired to the bedroom early, doing your night-time routines before cuddling on the bed.

"How about a movie?", you suggested, flickering the streaming platforms to find something to watch.

"I might fall asleep in the middle of it, you won't get too mad if I do?", he smiled, kissing your cheek multiple times.

"Of course I won't be mad, love! I'd never be mad for that", you cooed, looking up at his eyes as he tried his hardest to blink the sleep away, "I'll keep the volume down and the brightness low, you sleep all you want, okay?", you checked with him, sealing your request with a kiss on his lips, "sleep well, my love".

Carlos pulled you closer to him, your scent and steady heartbeat lulling him to sleep quickly, leaving you to smile at his peaceful features when you glanced away from the screen every now and again.

.

"You look so gorgeous! My teacher was never this stylish!", Blanca said as she greeted you once you stepped inside her car, setting your bag on the seat next to yours and squeezing her shoulder as well as her mother's, "hello hello! Thank you for inviting me, I've been needing a wardrobe change now that the temperatures are warmer", you smiled as they squeezed your hand back before you put your seatbelt on.

"It's been a while since I've seen you, dear, how have you been?", Reyes asked you while her daughter drove off to the spot where they wanted to spend the afternoon shopping.

"The little ones have been keeping me busy, now that they're on school break, it's a little bit calmer", you replied.

"That's nice, you shouldn't run yourself to the point of exhaustion - no matter how much you love it, you should also take care of yourself! You and Carlos are very much alike on that - your work ethic is excellence", she winked through the rear view mirror.

You agreed with your boyfriend's mother. Both you and Carlos worked extremely hard to get to the point you were in now and sometimes you needed someone - often eachother - to pull you out of a overworking spiral.

When Blanca was trying on a dress, you and Reyes sat on the small sofa while you waited for her and conversation flowed easily like usual, "how has Carlos been? It's been a while since I've seen him too", she wondered.

"He's been working a lot - being without a contact prospect for next year has obviously had a big impact on him", you began, "to be completely honest, I worry he is overdoing it. It's meeting after meeting, then all the workouts he goes on - I'm happy he's healthy for it, but too much of something is never good, right?", you shared.

"I've noticed it, too - I wasn't just asking", she smirked softly, "but I wanted to confirm it with you, a mother's instinct is always worried for her children and maybe part of me was hoping I was just exaggerating".

"I've tried to make sure he feels all the support he has and just be there for him, but I think it's all him, pushing to be better and better", you expressed your worries.

"What do you think about us having dinner at your place? Not to invite myself - even though that's what it is-, but maybe he would feel better and more inclined for a yes? Last times I invited you two for dinner with us he said he had things planned and the plans fell through", she said.

"Sounds nice, don't worry about inviting yourselves in", you chuckled as she gently squeezed your shoulder, "I'm going to suggest it to him, thank you", you squeezed her hand.

"We should be the ones thanking you", Blanca said as she stepped out, leaving you to assume she heard some of the conversation, "you've been his safe place for so long and continue to do so no matter the conditions", she smiled, "you're making sure my very hard headed brother is looking after himself and being looked after - the love you have for eachother is all we could've wanted for Carlitos", she hugged you, "now do we think this looks nice as it is or is it borderline making me look like a cloud?", she looked at the piece of clothing on her body.

You were pulled out of sleep when you heard Carlos mumbled something incoherent, and turning to face him, the sweat on his forehead evidencing that he was probably having a nightmare.

"Amor, hey - wake up, amor, wake up", you shook him awake, "it's just a nightmare, you're okay, you're okay", you coaxed him as he opened his eyes, turning on his bedside lamp while you held onto his hand.

"I woke you up? I'm sorry", he apoligised, voice groggy as he tried to catch his breath and bring his heart rate back to normal.

"It's okay, amor", you smiled, kissing his cheek and brushing the hairs away that were stuck to his forehead, "do you want to talk about it?".

Did he want to talk about it? The nightmares that kept occurring and keeping him up, only until now they had only woken him up? They had been happening for about a month now. He would wake up all sweaty and his breathing erratic, and more often than not, he wouldn't be able to fall asleep again, so he stayed awake thinking about all the possibilities of how his employment situation would be for next year and all of the ways he could improve his performance.

"It's fine", he gulped, "let's go back to sleep, okay?", he encouraged.

You knew better than to push him at that moment, so you cuddled up to him, holding him too as you kissed his chest, "I'm right here, nothing bad is going to happen to you, I'll make sure of it", you whispered before he turned the light off, wanting to believe you so badly and to sleep without his mind running a million miles an hour.

.

It really was taking up a lot of his mind - as well as your and his family's worries - and how it was soon going to be too much if he didn't manage everything well, and after his mother's conversation with you, you knew you needed to do something.

"My love, can I talk to you for a second?", you asked as you walked inside the office, seeing his sat in the long sofa instead of at the desk, "sure, come here, cariño", he urged, tidying some of the papers and notebooks so you could sit.

"I'm not going to bat around the bush, this is going to be straight off the bat - me and your family are concerned you're running yourself harder than you should, and if you keep going at this rate, you're going to burnout soon", you tried, rubbing his thigh softly and encouraging him to really think about it.

He pondered his words for a bit, "I have to do all I'm doing, Y/N, if I stop, I'll fall behind - it's bad enough as it is", he argued.

"But it's not doing you any good, handsome, you're more tired, you barely spend time with your family, with me even", you argued back. You didn't want to play that card or make him feel like he was failing you, that wasn't the point, "you're not doing the things that bring you joy outside of your work, and it shows", you attempted again.

"I have to keep working, I can try and make more time for them, but I can't miss my workouts and these data analysis sessions", he reasoned, "there's so much at stake here and I can't miss any of it because I'm unprepared or unfit".

"Handsome, I never wanted you to stop all of a sudden - and I knew you wouldn't anyway, I know who I'm dating, believe it or not", you smiled, "all I'm saying is you need to protect yourself too, have a place to just be yourself and let loose for a bit", you grabbed his hand and brought it to your mouth, kissing his knuckles.

"I will try my best", Carlos stated, "I'm sorry if I've been neglecting you", he said and you shook your head.

"No worries, now come and help me because your parents are coming over for dinner!", you have him a cheeky smile, pulling him to the kitchen and away from work for the rest of the day.

"This had my mother's hand on it, didn't it?", he wondered.

"She told me she was worried, and I agreed - so I took matters into my own hands because we knew you wouldn't let your mother tell you half of what I told you", you pulled him to you, hugging him tight, "we love you so much, I love you so much - and things are going to work out for you, I know they will", you kissed his clothed chest before looking up at him, "we all want you to be happy at what you do and you're doing the best you can - the universe will do the rest, amor".

"What would I do without you?", Carlos asked, kissing your lips passionately.

"Lucky for you, I don't think you'll ever have to find out", you smiled.

#carlos sainz imagine #carlos sainz fluff #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz fanfic #carlos sainz fic #f1 imagine #f1 fluff #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #f1 x reader

[auteurdelabre]

SOMETHING TO FIGHT FOR - VIGNETTE #3

SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN'T READ SOMETHING TO FIGHT FOR

RATING: PG

tags: Pregnancy, Talk of pregnancy anxieties, fluff, Joel being sweet, Sarah being the sweetest.

Summary: As requested from my comment section on a03: You find out your pregnant and tell Joel.

a/n: To all of you who send me messages on here and leave comments about my STFF story to this day, know that y'all have my heart in your hands and this is for you.

----------------------------------------------

You find out during your monthly girl’s night with Maria huddled under blankets, a glass of wine forgotten on the table and plenty of magazines spread over your laps. You’re very interested in the home repair ones now, similar to Maria. She’s thinking of installing a games room in the basement (your former apartment). Joel has mentioned something about doing some built-ins for the kitchen and the thought delights you.

“Isn’t it so nice to be married to handy men?” you muse with a dreamy smile as you flip through the glossy pages.

“It really is,” Maria replies equally dreamy. She hears the gentle thud and shriek from upstairs and smirks. “Tommy’s putting Jackson to bed but we’re weaning him from his soother.”

“Good luck, Tommy.”

The two of you giggle before swapping magazines, pointing out fixtures you like, dreaming about perfect kitchens and listening to Maria catch you up on Jackson, the wild toddler who keeps both she and Tommy on their toes. You love hearing about Jackson, since you’re his favorite person (aside from his parents). You and Joel often babysit for Maria when she and Tommy need a night off. Nights spent watching movies with Sarah on one end of the couch next to you and a dozing toddler between you and Joel make you feel strangely contented.

“We’re thinking of having another one,” Maria says with a coy grin.

You slap her thigh under the blanket excitedly.  Thoughts of them expanding their family makes your heart squeeze with joy.

“Really?”

“Yeah, are we insane? One is already enough work.”

“No!” you insist joyfully. “That’s so w-“

Before you can answer properly a wave of nausea goes through you. Maria’s eyes go wide as you fling the blanket from your legs and go staggering to the washroom. You barely make it in before you’re throwing up into the sink.  Maria is there to hold your hair back, waiting until you’ve finished before running the sink and cleaning your mouth.

“Where did that come from?” she muses. “Food poisoning?”

“I don’t think so,” you insist, wiping at your damp mouth.  “It’s like all of a sudden I just felt sick.”

“Nervous about anything? Work?”

“No, work’s great.”

“And Sarah? Joel?”

“Perfect,” you answer honestly.  “I don’t remember ever being this happy.”

“Hmmmm,” Maria nods as you shakily make your way out of the washroom. She gives you a short laugh. “Pregnant?”

You start to laugh along with her before you pause. Like bullets to your brain you’re assaulted with the memory of Joel coming to your office to fuck your brains out. Unprotected, excited at the thought of getting pregnant. But it never happens on the first try! The percentages of that is so low! Everyone knows that… right?

When you don’t reply right away Maria turns, brows raised. “Something you’re not telling me?”

“Uh…”

“Get back in there,” Maria says, ushering you back into the bathroom. She drops to her knees and retrieves a box from the far back under the counter. A pregnancy test. She thrusts it into your hands and grins widely.

“Hope you have to pee.”

---

Ten minutes later you and Maria stare at the dual lines on the pregnancy test.

 “You’re pregnant.”

“Holy shit.”

 “You’re gonna have a baby.”

“Holy fuck.”

All of a sudden Maria gives a large shriek of excitement, pulling you into her arms and jumping.

“Wait, no, shhhh,” you insist, not wanting Tommy to hear. “I don’t want anyone else knowing before Joel. Don’t say anything to anyone until I give you the go ahead.”

“Oh of course,” Maria nods, her eyes bright with excitement. “How are you gonna tell him?”

You pause, thinking of all the romantic gestures Joel has thrown your way during both your courtship and your marriage. It has to be something special, something memorable. 

Joel deserves the best.

///

The next morning you sit at the kitchen table with your coffee and a piece of paper covered in your scribbles. You look down critically at your list, frowning.

1. Put actual bun in oven. Cheesy??

2. World's greatest Dad Mug? Where would I get it done ASAP? 

3. Scavenger hunt? 

You've worked on this stupid thing all morning while Joel went into the office and nothing on it looks good. It turns out grand gestures aren’t really your natural style. The thought seems daunting at best.

You considered having Sarah tell him, but you want to tell Sarah together. You want Joel to be a part of sharing that with her. 

You hear tiny feet making their way down the stairs and you quickly ball the useless list up into a ball before throwing it into the garbage can.

"Hi Mama," Sarah says padding into the kitchen with a sleepy smile. She's wearing polar bear pyjamas tonight, ones you got her for Christmas. She's growing faster than expected, her ankles already showing. 

"Morning."

She wraps her tiny arms around your middle, squeezing gently as you hold her. You rock gety from side to side before you smile down at her, pushing a curl of hair from her large eyes. You curl, pressing a warm kiss to the top of her head. 

"Have good dreams, bug?"

"Yeah," Sarah insists with a bright smile up at you. She follows you around to the oven, standing at your hip and chatting away. 

Joel is normally the Sunday morning pancake maker, but on the odd weekend he's busy with work you take over kitchen duties. Thankfully he had the batter already prepped and waiting because you are a shit chef. It took you weeks before you stopped burning each one.

You lift the waiting Sarah and place her on the nearby counter to watch. You love these little traditions you share with her. Every year you feel a little bit more like her mother, every time she calls you Mama or requests it be you that kisses her scraped knee better, every moment she clings to your hips or draws you a picture makes your heart squeezes with adoration for her. 

"So what did you dream about?"

You place a small bowl of blueberries on the counter for her to snack on as she jiggles her legs absently as she tries to recall her dream. 

"I dreamed that there was a zoo and me and daddy we went but the animals were all gone," she says taking a handful of blueberries and chewing. "And we had churros but-but they were bad and uh..."

"Uh huh," you say politely even though your mind is a billion miles away. 

"And I dreamed that I could fly over, um, up over the school and-and," Sarah stumbles over her words to get the story out. "You remember like in that movie where the guy flies in the car?"

"Oh yeah."

"Like that guy. Plus I dreamed I had a little sister and she didn't wear the hat I gave her."

This gives you a start. You whip your head to face her fully, the pancake temporarily forgotten. 

"You dreamt you had a little sister?"

"Yeah," Sarah pops another blueberry into her mouth, her tongue already stained blue. "She was so cute and small." 

Your heart jumps into your throat. 

"What was that like?" You ask, trying to be subtle as you go back to flipping the pancake. "Did you like being a big sister?"

"It was only a dream mama," Sarah tells you with a good natured laugh, as if you're a silly fool who doesn't know the difference. "I don't have a sister."

"Of course," you say with a smile, dishing the pancake onto Sarah's plate. "Mama was just being silly." 

///

MARIA: Have u told him yet??

Not yet. I just got the official confirmation from the doctor yesterday.

MARIA: C'mon!! I'm dying to tell Tommy! It's been A WEEK!

Just wait. I need to make it perfect. 

MARIA: Just fucking tell him!!!!!!

The truth is you have no idea how to tell Joel. The entire thing seems strangely stressful and you wish you could be as naturally romantic as he is. You gaze at him over breakfast, taking in the curls that fall into his forehead, the strong line of his jaw and nose. And that’s not even the sexiest thing about him! He’s so kind, so patient, so fucking loving.

"You know the spare room upstairs?" Joel says not noticing how distracted you are. "I was thinkin' of turning it into a playroom for Sarah. Might mean havin' to put some stuff down in your office to store if that’s okay by you."

Your body tenses. 

But that's where the baby will go.

"I was actually thinking we could turn it into an extra bedroom," you offer quickly. Joel glances up from his coffee, brows quirked. 

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"What do you want that done for?"

"To have a guest room," you lie. "When Jackson gets bigger he'll need somewhere to sleep, right? Not just a portable crib. And what if my mom comes to visit?"

"Suppose so, yeah."  Joel takes a look around the room with a critical eye as if just seeing his kitchen for the first time. "Maybe we need more space." 

You're not paying attention to that last murmured comment. All you can fixate on is the fact that in nine short months you're going to have a baby. 

A baby. Pregnant. 

A wave of nausea hits you again, but you manage to excuse yourself without raising any alarm. 

///

It's not until that Saturday that things go pear shaped.

You rise with a yawn and a stretch, your hand absently stroking down your midsection. How strange to imagine it swollen with life, your son or daughter. 

"Mornin' baby," Joel greets you from behind with a sleepy growl. The kind of sound that hits you below the navel. 

You roll to face him, your cheeks flushed. He's so sexy in the morning with his tussled hair and sleepy eyes. Your love for him feels overwhelming at this point and you decide to just tell him flat out that he's going to be a father again. No bells, no whistles.   

"Morning handsome," you reply, hand sliding between the two of you to grasp his forearm. "Joel I wanted to-"

Before anything else can be said, the door to your bedroom is flung open and a bleary eyed Sarah comes stumbling in.

She mumbles something about going to the park before clamoring into the bed, situating herself under the covers between you and Joel. She snuggles up to her father, calling over her shoulder to you. 

"Mama can you give me back scratches?"

After ten minutes of good back scratches Joel suggests it’s time for pancakes and then a trip to the park. You and Sarah give an enthusiastic yes to this suggestion because you need some time to think of how to tell Joel. It seems a direct approach might not work with Sarah around.

Full of pancakes and wearing your favorite sundress (and Sarah her favorite purple sneakers) the three of you drive to a new park Joel suggests. It's in a nicer part of Austin with lots of greenery and expensive looking homes. 

The park is bustling with families and you watch as the ever social Sarah waves to you and Joel before taking off for the swings. You both watch your daughter playing but your mind is a million miles away, stuck on two lines on a pregnancy test.

The shock has worn off now, leaving you with a thrumming excitement that terrifies as well as thrills you. This morning it had been all thrills, the thought of telling Joel and how he would react. But now hours later it’s been replaced with terror of all the things that could go wrong.

Your husband holds a cup of coffee in one hand, the other rubbing along your spine absently. You lean into his touch, your eyes on Sarah and your mind on the child slowly knitting itself together within your womb.

"This is a nice neighborhood," Joel observes, glancing around as you watch Sarah pump her legs on the swing. "Close to the schools."

"Mhmm," you answer not really listening. 

What would you name the baby? Do you want a boy or girl?

Joel continues to drone on beside you. 

"..could even walk with Sarah to school..."

What if Joel changed his mind? What if after all of this he doesn't want to be a dad again? 

Sarah rushes off the swing and you absently observe as she clamors to the top of the slide. 

What if Sarah hates the baby? 

".... for cutting the grass and..."

What if you're a terrible mother? What if you're selfish like your dad? 

"... different mailbox, but I don't...." 

Fuck what if your baby grows up and hates you? 

"...So what do you think of this place?" Joel asks, his hand tightening around your waist. The sensation brings your attention back to the present and after a delay his words catch up in your mind.

You glance over to see the house he's pointing at, a pale yellow suburban home with ornate windows and large front yard. 

"S'nice," you observe. "You and Tommy doing renovations on it?"

"No," Joel says and you feel his deep intake of breath behind you. His large fingers tap along your hip. "I mean, what do you think of livin' there?"

Confusion suffuses you all over. You turn to face your husband, brows furrowed. 

“Huh? What are you talking about?"

"I just got to thinking after we talked that maybe we need to think of moving somewhere bigger. More space and-"

Joel suddenly breaks off when he sees fat tears rolling down his wife's cheeks. He's immediately on guard, hands coming to cup her face.

"Baby what's wrong?" 

"I don't wanna move!" You blubber, suddenly overcome. "I love our house."

Joel's heart softens at this remark. He'd always worried you'd thought of the house on Rancher Street as his. He bought it before you, raised Sarah there. Hearing you refer to it as home makes him pull you tight, pressing tender kisses to your forehead. 

“Don’t you think we need a bigger place?” Joel asks, eyes wide with concern. “I thought that’s what you’d been hinting at.”

"We have enough space," you insist, wiping your damp cheeks with the back of your hand.

 “But you’ve been goin’ on about converting that spare room upstairs and I thought maybe you’d wanna get a place we both chose,“ he reasons.

“No!” you insist, eyes welling with tears. “Joel we fell in love here, this is where you raised Sarah, and it’s where you proposed to me. I never want to leave Rancher Street. I fell in love with you in that house, Joel. You and Sarah. There are so many memories in that house. I want the baby to grow up in the same place as Sarah and I want-"

Joel's sharp intake of breath stops you from continuing. You watch as his eyes fill with tears. 

"The baby?" 

///

Sarah watches her parents from the top of the slide as other children clamor around her. She sees them talking while facing one another with Mama looking at Daddy with a serious look. Sarah has never seen them fight before and she wonders if this is what's happening. 

Sarah is further confused as Daddy looks down at Mama's tummy then back to her face. He keeps saying the same word over and over but Sarah can't make it out through the din of the noisy kids around her. 

Sarah's anxiety is erased as Daddy starts to smile wider than Sarah's ever seen, his eyes disappearing into half moon crescents. 

He grabs Mama in his arms and raises her off the ground. Sarah giggles when Mama gives a loud yelp of surprise, the two of them laughing before Mama wraps her arms around Daddy's neck and kisses him all the while with tears running down her cheeks. 

Allergies, Sarah decides. 

Daddy lowers Mama to the ground, their lips breaking apart so that their foreheads can touch gently. Their eyes are closed and Daddy is saying something to Mama and she's nodding. 

Their eyes open and Daddy's hands are cupping Mama's cheeks. She's smiling up at him and Sarah thinks she sees a tear rolling down the curve of her Daddy's cheek but she can't be sure. 

Sarah looks away when he kisses Mama again, feeling shy to see it even though it secretly delights her. When she glances back up Daddy and Mama are scanning the playground for her. Daddy finds her first (he always does) and he waves at her. 

"Come down here babygirl," Daddy calls over to her. "Let's go for ice cream." 

Sarah squeals excitedly, throwing herself down the slide and jogging over to her parents. Mama lifts her up into her arms for a tight embrace even though Sarah's getting too big for it. But she allows it because Mama's hugs are the best. 

"I love you, bug."

"Love you Mama." Sarah glances over her shoulder at her father. "You too, Daddy."

Joel chuckles and presses a gentle kiss to the crown of her head. Mama lowers her to the ground and both she and Daddy take one of Sarah's hands, the three of them walking to the truck to drive to the ice cream shop they always visit in the summer. 

You've just reached for the handle to the truck when Sarah suddenly stops and glances up at your face, a beam spreading across her features as if she's just come to a sudden realization. And even though she doesn’t ask and even though her parents won’t officially tell her for months to come, Sarah just knows she’s getting a sister.  

#something to fight for fic #something to fight for series #something to fight for #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller smut #joel miller #dad joel miller #pedro pascal #fanfiction #fanfic #joel x reader #joel the last of us #joel miller x f!reader #joel tlou #joel fanfic

[romana-after-dark]

Guard Dog

Riader!Joel Miler x Dark!fem!reader

Masterlist : Taglist

Summary: Joel attempts to raid the wrong house, and having the Joel Miller on his knees before awakens something in you... and in him.

Content and Warnings: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT Dub con on Joel (Is it non con? idk. Idk how im supossed to tag this but it's no where near the violence of tww someone help), references to non con from Joel to other women, gun sucking, fem domme, dark!reader but Joel is also dark soooooo, subby Joel, dead bodies, Nick reference (if you read TWW you know lol), multiple orgasms, overstim, dumbification?

AN 1: This essentially came of two thoughts, me thinking hmmmm how to write raider!Joel in a new way? 2. I want to avenge Little One. Joel did her so dirty and is still doing her so dirty in the dark timeline addition, lowkey wanted someone to get revenge for her. Plus, subby Joel is always a win for Fen and Maura lol

AN 2: Shout outs to @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin and @toxicanonymity for talking me through this idea, esp Toxi for letting me use the gun blowjob bit lololol if you like that concept, I encourage everyone to check out toxi's raider joel Or maybe Jake's part in the chasing series

***********************

Whoever it was, they had chosen to raid the wrong fucking house.

Yes, you were a single woman. Yes you lived alone. But no, you were not helpless, far from it, actually. Whoever it was is lucky they had made it past the set of boobytraps thus far. Actually, it sounded like a few of them had been taken out as it was.

*

Joel watched in relief as the arrow went through Nick’s skull. Relief it wasn’t him. He never liked Nick that much anyway, real creepy guy. In fact, he didn’t like any of the men that this house had gotten either. It was exhausting, trying to lead a group of dumbasses and whatever the fuck was in here it wasn’t worth it, so Joel attempted to make his exit. Thing was, leaving was proving just as hard as entering was. Whoever lived here didn’t want anyone living to tell the tail. Stepping over the dead bodies of a few of his men, Joel had narrowly dodged more arrows, spikes, darts; the whole lot, until some secret fucking door opened up like a goddamn scooby-doo house and there you were, gun to his forhead.

“Joel fucking Miller, I’ll be damned.”

Joel narrowed his eyes. He didn’t recognize you, but you knew him. That wasn’t surprising, he’d gained a bit of a reputation from raiders, fireflies and regular people. “Who the hell are you?”

You tell him your name, first name at least, and make quick work of taking out the gun in his hand. “Armed with anything else, Miller?” He said he wasn’t, but you knew that was a lie. “Don’t believe that for a second.”

“Then why the hell did you ask?” His texan drawl was prominent, especially when he was worked up.

“More fun to mess with you.” Keeping the gun pressed up to his temple, you press your body against his in turn as you pat him down for more weapons. It didn’t hurt that he was handsome.

“JESUS!” Joel jumped as you grabbed at his ass. “Watch your fucking hands.”

You can’t help but giggle; he thinks he's in charge. “You could be hiding weapons anywhere-” He tenses as you slip your hand between his buttcheeks as much as his jeans allow. “-Can’t be too careful.”

Joel was a brutal man, you heard stories of his rage and carelessness for human life, including women. There’d been many such stories of him forcing himself on women, kidnapping and trafficking… maybe he needed a taste of his own medicine? You take your time on his top half, feeling up every muscle, every bit of pudge, every dip on his broad body. Then, onto the lower. Without hindrance, you grope at his crotch and are very impressed by the size of him; and amused by the way he’s already semi-hard. Men are so easy, it’s funny sometimes. 

“This make you excited, Miller? Or does it scare you to be at a woman’s mercy for once? Maybe a little bit of both?” 

Joel didn’t look at you, lips pursed in a hard line.

You continue, moving the gun to his pants as you kneel before him to check lower. “I bet this is more your speed isn’t it? Having a pretty woman on her knees?”

The scoff above you doesn’t go unnoticed. “Mighty full of ourselves, aren’t we?”

After taking a knife and a gun that were strapped to his ankle, you stand up, satisfied with your work and the ever-growing bulge in his pants. “I own a mirror, Miller. I know what I got going on.” Degrading won’t work on you. With a nudge, you press him towards your room. 

“Yuh gonna kill me?” There was no fear in his voice when he asked. This was a man prepared for death whenever it came.

“We’ll see. Gonna have a little fun with you first.”

*

Having Joel Miller on his knees for you was a goddamn treat. He looked so good like this, so submissive even if his bratty little face wanted to put on a show. 

“It’s natural, you know.” With a glance down, you let him know that you are referencing his half-hard cock. “The adrenaline.” You squat in front of him. “How many girl came when you forced yourself on them? How many felt their bodies betray them? Did you laugh at them for getting wet?”

“I didn’t-”

“It’s humiliating, isn’t it?” Your gun was still out, knowing physically he could probably overpower you still. You weren’t weak by any means, but you also were aware he had far more upper body strength, muscles bulging through the seem of his shirt sleeves. The cool end of the gun prodded at his face as he tried to keep calm; the bob of his adam's apple and subtle rise of his chest was giving away his nerves. It was exhilarating, having a man that many feared, the cause of death of so many men, someone of damn-near legendary status and his knees for you… You couldn’t help the reaction the thrill had in pooling in your stomach. It was natural, wasn’t it? That’s what you told Joel. 

Using the gun, you move his face around a bit to really take in his features. Strong nose, curly salt and pepper hair, soft brown eyes and lips you just really wanted to make whimper.

“Your quite handsome, you know that?”

An ironic chuckle. “I have a mirror too, sweetheart.”

You can’t help smiling at him as you straighten back up. “Take off your shirt.”

He rolled his eyes but did as he was told.

“Obedient thing, aren’t you? Bet I could train you, bet that’s what you need, isn’t it?” You slip your hand in your pants, feeling up your own wet cunt as the thrill of power elevates things. “Tired of having to decide, having to lead…” Maybe the adrenaline was getting to you, but you suddenly wish you had a dick to make him suck. You don’t, so you settle for the next best thing. You tap his lips witht he barrel of the gun. “Open.”

Joel hesitates, a slight spark of fear in his pretty eyes as he keeps his lips tightly closed, and that just won't do. You slap his cheek with the gun, and as grunts in pain the seal of his lips pops open.

“Ah-mph” His cry of pain was quickly muffled by the gun being shoved in his mouth. 

“Suck on it, cowboy. Act like you fucking enjoy it.”

You don’t think he needs to act. Joel sucks on your gun like he would a dick and you furiously finger yourself to his rhythm. As he closes his eyes, you can hear a low groan emitting from his throat and his hands twitching at his side. 

“Touch yourself, go ahead.”

He didn’t need to be told twice, his right hand flying to the seam of his pants and palming at his full erection.

 “Good boy, good fucking boy” You praise. “Just an obedient little dog pretending to be a lone wolf. Is that it? You just want someone to tell you what to do, huh?” You release the gun from his mouth and can’t help but grin as his lips chase it.

“Y-yes.” Joel admits, face strained in tension as he kept touching himself. Must hurt, being constrained like that.

“Take it out. Eyes on me.” You guide his face to look up at you with the tip of your gun. “Look in my eyes as you do it.”

As he released himself, Joel did indeed look up at you; he looked up at you as if you made the stars in the sky. 

Once his cock was out, all 9 or so inches, you take off your sleep shorts and straddle over him but not yet putting it in. “I don’t think I need this gun anymore… but I think you like it.” When you sink down on him, gun pressed to his ribs as a firm reminder of who was in charge, you hold your breath in order to hear the simple whimpers and guttural groans that Joel tried so hard to hide.

“This is where you belong, isn’t it?” You goad him, eliciting a quiet ‘yes’ from his lips. “Under me, belong to me.”

You are speared on him, his dick spreading you open and stretching you unlike anything you had felt before and you loved it. Every chance you had, you felt his muscles, reveling in the fact such a physically strong man was so mental weak for you and only you.

“Can I cum? Please?” Joel begged for you, pleaded ever, lips quivering even as you kissed him.

“Almost there, baby, almost- mmmm- almost there. You can cum after me, okay?”

Joel nodded quick, tiny nods and hesitantly moved a hand to your hips. He looked up at you bouncing on his cock for permission, and when you nod back he goes to thumb at your clit. 

“OH GOD!” You shout, breathless, slick all over your thighs and his pants, his touch sending you over the edge. You cum hard, walls pulsing all around him and he doesn’t ask again before spilling his seed inside you, filling you to the brim.

Your body relaxes, but then Joel throws you to the ground causing you to drop your gun and for a moment you thought he bested you, got you distracted; until he dove right into your cunt with no regard for the lost gun. He didn’t care about beating you, he cared about tasting you. As he desperately licked his cum out of your dripping hole, you tugging at his curls, Joel humped the floor as if he hadn’t just gotten released. You pull him close, riding out another orgasm on his face. When you cum a third time, you have to push him back, the overstimulation from the desperate man’s tongue, lips and beard being too much. When you do, he looks up at you with wide eyes as if he had done something wrong, but you pull up and into a kiss before laying him down on the floor to kiss him some more.

“Not sure if I wanna let go of you, cowboy…” You tease, playing with his hair but keeping him firmly pressed to the ground. “Might have to keep you around, but my little guard dog, how about that?”

Joel’s eyes were glossy, his face so fucked out you weren’t sure he was fully cognizant. “Baby boy too tired to speak? That’s okay, I’ll take care of you too. You be the arms; I’ll be the brains. You won’t have to have a single thought outside me again, okay?”

***********

Part 2 here

LOWKEY NERVOUS BC THIS IS SUCH A DIFFERENT JOEL AND HE DOESNT DO A LOT OF TALKING?!?!?!?!?!??! UNSURE HOW I FEEL

Anyway I do hope to write more maybe? so if you wanna be tagged comment below! I liek the idea of having a joel I can kinda just write stuff about whenever instead of a story and an arch and characters to balance. This is just more casual. and i dont gotta go nuts keepingup with posting like my other stories. Im think a v joel tess kinda vibe where she's clearly leading him

I was supossed to be working on the next part to my Javi P x reader x Santi AU buuuutttttttttttt I couldnt get this idea out of my head. So. here you all go! I'll try and work on that, the dark! TF boys, TWW, and the Will Miller story lol its kinda a lot rn

Please consider reblogging and commenting to support your fav writers &lt;3

@fandxmslxt69 @moriartyyouwhore @hereforthepedrofanfic @alwaysmicado @noisynightmarepoetry @morallyinept @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @the-fox-den @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @k-ra

If you'd like to join the dark! taglist, click here! this is different from my regular taglist on my main account

If you'd like to join only on this tag list, comment below

#dark fanfiction #dark!joel #dark!reader #Guard Dog Series #dark joel miller #the last of us hbo #joel miller #non con #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #dark #dddne #dead dove do not eat #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x reader #fem reader #fem!reader #joel tlou #joel x reader #dark reader #dub con #tw noncon #tw dubious consent

[decaflondonfog]

starting a new thread because i got tagged in sliiiightly different tag games by both @tidalst and @caroll-in but there were a lot of overlapping questions so i’m just making one that mixes both 😂🥰 #practicalqueen

currently reading: The Haunted Hotel by Wilkie Collins, which I picked up while on holiday because I only took two books and read both way too quickly hahaha

favourite colour: yellow!!!! it's just the happiest, brightest and best. it makes me so happy!!!! i’ve painted my new kitchen in a lovely soft butter yellow and it gives me the tummy fuzzies just to look at it 🥹

last song: Tuya by Rosalía

last show: Yellowjackets!!!!!!! idk how everyone isn’t obsessed with it honestly

currently watching: not started anything post-Yellowjackets yet because i’ve been very busy moving house but i’m starting Succession next, which i hear will put my heart through it and i can’t wait!

last movie: Empire of Light (2022), which was gorgeous

sweet/spicy/savoury: ugh why would you make me pick… sweet? maybe?

currently working on: doing final edits on growing pains which i’ve been posting for a few weeks now, putting some words into a soap/ghost farm au, and there’s also some kandreil porn going on because there’s always kandreil porn in my wips (hopefully some of it will see the light of day at some point)

current obsession: media wise it’s yellowjackets though i’ve not quite recovered from that series finale!! my true current irl obsession is my new gigantic window right in front of my bed. i spent three hours today just cuddling the dog and looking outside and it was incredible

and now i’m supposed to tag 6 mutuals i want to know better???? hmmmm hello @fluxweeed @vivantesopales @greenautumnleaves @courtjestermerlin @moondal514 and @the-tortoise-lady 💕 you’re next, if you fancy it!!

#tag games #[insert melting emoji here]

[kay-elle-cee]

20 questions for Fic Writers

Thank you to @annabtg and @mppmaraudergirl for the tag, this was so fun to go through and think about!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

22! (which is my favorite number, yay!) 4 of these are ficlet/micro collections though.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

237,930 words

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Harry Potter! I've written for others before, and I keep saying I'm going to go back to Pirates of the Caribbean but the Jily brainrot has such a hold on me I don't know if it's going to happen.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Things That Haven't Happened Yet i'll be fine, i'll be good A Thrill Divine, Down My Spine no, i could never give you peace restless waves rise and fall

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always always always! I so appreciate everyone reading, but when you COMMENT? You took time out of your day to TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT? 💕💕💕💕 All the love in the WORLD from me!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmmmm so listen, let's have a chat. I love angst—that's not surprising anyone. But I also love the HAPPINESS at the end. So even if it's not downright happy, it's usually at least hopeful. But also with that said, probably this micro. (or also maybe this oneshot)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Happiest? Instinctively I wanted to say Magic Like This but it's still canon-verse so.....I'm going to go with my waves meet your shore (forever and evermore), which is a oneshot in my Pirate Jily universe. It wasn't even supposed to BE this happy, they just took the reins from me.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I do not (or rather, I haven't yet), and I feel incredibly fortunate for that. I'm sure the day will come, though!

9. Do you write smut. If so, what kind?

@athenasparrow prodded me into it and I do now! I only write Jily, so M/F, and it's pretty tame, all things considered 😅

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

RIP to my Titanic x Jily crossover I started when I was 13 and never finished. Crossovers don't hold any appeal to me, personally (though I guess at age 13 I thought differently.)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I had a request from someone to translate Things That Haven't Happened Yet into Russian, but I'm not sure if it ever happened.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Not in the Jily fandom! When I was 13 my friends and I passed a journal around and round-robined a Harry Potter fic. And then a few years later in another fandom I collabed with another author but she ended up having to see the thing through because I had to study for my SATs (and I started dating Mr. Kelsey and he started taking up all my free time OOPS).

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Jily! (though Willabeth does have a strong hold on me still to this day)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I'm still optimistic about all my WIPs. 😅 Evans Sisters Bakery is one I really want to figure out—I have a few pieces written, but the plot just isn't working for me. I really hope to shake it all out next year. The one that's furthest in the backseat is probably but if the story's over, why am i still writing pages? which I've shared excerpts from (Lily and James break up seventh year, still love each other though. It's very angsty and there's lots of secret meetings regardless of the breakup).

16. What are your writing strengths?

Oh man, I don't know. Dialogue, maybe? I like to think my dialogue reads natural. Also I think I'm good at bringing the angst in a way that makes sense for the characters and not just writing angst for angst's sake. (But you tell me if I'm wrong! 😂)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions. I'm not great at scene setting. I want to get to the action/emotions/conflict like immediately lol.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If I could do it believably? I'd give it a shot. But I can't so I won't!

19. First Fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter! (Harmony fans RISE @suzyq31).

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

I answered this written and I PROMISE it's not recency bias, but i'll be fine, i'll be good is so incredibly close to my heart and is the fic I've worked longest and most carefully on, so...that one.

Tagging @cascader @alittlebitofeverything23 @sunshinemarauder @isahorcrux if you feel up for it!

#tag game #writer fic asks #me #20 questions

[rreskk]

Can you make a Trevor x fem!reader smut/fluff where reader has always had a crush on Trevor but never actually told him because of her shyness and fear he would reject her (and T on the other hand has always been teasing her), so Trevor catches reader, ahem, "having fun with herself", and ends with a dommy T and fluffiness afterwards (love you and your fics❤)

---A/N: Of fucking course!! :)

Summary: He interrupted your 'you' time.

TW: Smut

“You’re so beautiful for me…” He grinned and ushered while eye-dropping your body. His hands staining your hips and waist, them bloody nails leaving behind red marks of his touch. You dropped down onto his lap and strangled his erection with the ass he fancies the most.

“Yes, Trevor, yes.”

“You fuckin’ saint… I want to fuck you so hard,” The intel of his desires shaped the way you grinded his thigh. Trevor embodied you with his arms and tagged you closer to his warm chest.

“Trevor…”

“You’ll be screaming my name, baby. Everyone on this street will know the dirty angel I’m fuckin’.”

You whimpered until the lips of his ghostly body shuts you up. The force pushed you against his bed, the man hovering over you with hunger in his devilish eyes. You reached out and…

Your bedroom door opened.

You were lying there on your bed, fingers tangling below with your panties fully exposing your wet pussy. Fantasizing and masturbating of Trevor was completely disengaged when a limb shadow cooled your hot body.

You opened your eyes.

“Jesus Christ!” The husky voice laughed.

You gasped and held a hand over your naked breasts.

Trevor stood over you with a cat-like grin. His eyes scanned your physique until you immediately hid under your covers.

“Trevor!” You yelled in shock, “W-What are you doing?”

He depicted you as dumb with the raise of his eyebrow. He slurred out a pesky finger and pointed at you.

“You… Missy, was calling my name.”

“What?”

“Yeah. I went to give you a visit and walked in. I then heard you go; Trevor! Oh, Trevor! Yes, Trevor yes!” His smile was growing wider.

You could die. You were so embarrassed.

“You could of knocked!”

Trevor gasped offensively, “Excuse me, sugar. I thought you were screaming for some help. It’s not every day I hear someone say my name so… Passionately,” He snickered. You were going to return his smart talk but the man leaned closer to your sweaty face, “But you were calling me for another reason, mhm?”

His darkened eyes was hard to resist. How could you deny something he saw? You were caught red-handed and to your luck, he’s… Aroused by it.

“It was always banter when I accused you of liking me,” He cackled, “But little did I know, baby. You wanna know something?”

You whispered timidly, “What?”

“I jack off to you everyday as well.”

“Are you being serious?”

“Dead fuckin’ serious. I keep you around for a reason…” Trevor soon glanced down at your collarbone, “And fuck… You give me the best orgasms of my life.”

Your unfinished business began throbbing again. You uncomfortably shifted in your bed and he struct you with his psychotic toothy grin.

“I came just before you could finish, babe?”

You nodded.

“Hmmmm… Good, good. Get rid of the covers. Lemme see you.”

Obeying, you slowly pushed the sheets off your body and you watched Trevor grope his bulge. His head fell back and he released an animalistic groan.

“Fuuucck, sugar. You are too damn sexy,” He stepped closer and licked his teeth, “Darl, get on your hands and knees for me.”

The demand was compulsory. Wobbling to reach his standard, you faced away from him so Trevor could gain the VIP sight of your ass. You closed your eyes, waiting for him to speak.

“Mhm, you are making Uncle T very… VERY happy.”

The praise was followed by the contact of his finger tracing the roundness of your hips and ass. You knew he was close to you as he was heavily breathing.

“You know,” Murmured Trevor, “This day should of come sooner.”

He properly reached and exacted himself right behind you. His hands began bruising it’s place on your stomach, inserting one finger to tickle your nipple and squeeze your breasts… His clothed crotch was grinding itself against your naked ass, yearning.

“I know.”

He chuckled, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Trevor stroked down your stomach until his hand returned to your hips.

“I didn’t think you’d feel the same…”

He stopped touching you.

The motion was eruptive and sharp. You inhaled in case you’ve accidentally hit a sensitive spot in his unpredictable nature.

“Didn’t feel the same?” He repeated.

You lowered your body and turned around, facing him with concern.

“I don’t know. I thought I weren’t your type.”

“My type?” His face cracked with disbelief, “What the fuck? What do you think my type is?”

There was only wrong answers as you had no idea.

“Shit, Trev… I don’t know.”

Trevor clicked his fingers at your failed attempt of answering. You sighed.

“Wrong. My type is anyone with huge tits and juicy ass, yeah?”

You nodded.

“WRONG!” He lashed out. The aggression was real and you flinched at the pitch of his voice, “I fuckin’ love some big tits but my type? My type is anyone who’s real, loyal and compassionate.”

“Right…”

Trevor extended his arm and your face was soon being caressed by him.

“You are my damn type, sugar. I ain’t no male prostitute… Well, I am… No. No I am not. I’m just a male slut. But! But I have a standard… And you are exactly my dream girlie. Sexy, loyal, a little bit timid BUT I will boost your damn confidence, lady.”

It was comforting as he’d express his admiration through his own words… And vocabulary. It was special considering it came from him. And you appreciated that.

“Now…” He removed his hands from your face and proceeded to study your body, “Let’s see…” His composure was stiff when thinking to himself, “Get on your back. I wanna make this special for us.”

As you rested against the mattress, Trevor was quick to throw off his shirt and took a few seconds to unbuckle his black belt (struggling due to adrenaline). The gasp that left your lips when he pulled down his trousers AS WELL AS underwear… He was hard. VERY. The cock was twitching and was so erected it almost touched his stomach. Trevor held it as he crawled over to you on the bed. He forced your legs over his shoulders and gave you a subtle look.

“Imma make sure you ain’t gonna forget today.”

You smiled at him. Knowing the impact of his largeness from looking at it, you gripped your bed railings for support. Trevor smirked.

“Oh, you ready… My sweet little-“ His nostrils flared and he pushed into you mid-sentence, “M-My sweet little… Fuck, sugar.”

You groaned when he began thrusting into you. The pressure your body needed; Trevor being there to save you.

“You are so loose for me, ay? You’ve been horny for a long time, baby. I can tell.” He giggled crazily before slapping his groin against your thighs.

Your legs tightened around his shoulders, almost suffocating him. The muscles in your thighs grew larger as you’d flex them whenever he thrusts. Trevor was staring down at your tits. They jiggled and wobbled so animatedly. It was like he was hypnotised.

“Fuck, Trevor!” Your fantasy has come true. You were moaning his name like you were before, in your dreams. Breathing for air was hard considering he left no time, he just kept on pushing and drilling inside of you. The drugs that gives him speed clearly is taking an effect as he’s so rapid.

“Yes, [Y/n], my God. You fuckin’ GODESS!”

Flexing your thighs again, Trevor averted his eyes from your tits and turned to the legs that were restricting his breathing. His tongue fell out of his mouth and began licking exotically across your skin. As he’d ruthlessly fuck you, the slimy trail of his saliva on your legs that glistened in the light followed up to where he turned licking into kissing.

“Yes, Trevor!” You pleaded.

He attacked you with his lips. Your thighs and calves were left in red and brown bruises. It was so beautifully presented. After admiring his work, he grew tired and leaned closer, dropping them from his shoulders. Trevor was doing snake press-ups over your nakedness. His strong arms helped him thrust in and out so effectively. You couldn’t help yourself and reached for his neck, pulling him closer.

“Hmm, I’m here, baby,” Trevor purred at the sudden closeness, “I ain’t leavin’ your pretty face out.” A soft touch of his lips molested the inner circle of your neck. However bad you wanted him, it was never enough.

“Harder, Trev.”

He perked his head up, “Harder, you say?”

You nodded frantically.

“Ohhh, I love your style, baby,” A snicker was all you heard before he increased his speed. His face was inches above your breasts as he’d focus on giving you it rough and hard, “F-Fuck… You horny as fuck, babe. I fuckin’ LOVE IT.”

Now you were at risk of hitting your head on the bed railings. It was glorious. You could almost see stars until…

“M’okay… [Y/n], I gotta-“ Trevor pulled out in time for his cum to demolish your bed covers. His face was crunched with ecstasy and his arms were shaking out of weakness. You were so close that seeing him collapse onto your breasts did it.

“Trevor!” You choked out. The clogged up climax that had been distressing you all day was finally out and it dribbled down, mixing itself with Trevor’s fluids.

His body was practically meshed with yours. He was panting like an animal, his hair dampened with sweat and mouth wide open, projecting his intoxicating breath upon your chest. You rubbed his back and was washed over in relief. You couldn’t believe your dream had come true.

#trevor philips x reader #trevor philips/reader #trevor philips #gta 5 #gta v #grand theft auto 5 #grand theft auto v

[scarrbatt]

Friendly Banter⋆

Pairing!: gn!reader & Kyle ''Gaz'' Garrick

Rating!: It's pure fluff sooo

Warnings/tags!: Mentions of drinking!, tipsy reader, and tipsy Gaz, if you squint slightly jealous lieutenant ghost, Gaz flirts with the reader but they are oblivious to it, Gaz is also a gentleman bc yes, Gaz calls reader hun, love, and some other pet names, reader is a lightweight and has no filter when drunk Summary!: After a successful mission 141 has the whole weekend free, and reader decides to head into the city to check out a nice fancy restaurant that opened recently, Gaz coming with them. (oOoOo it's a date) Word count!: 996 words!

A/N!: First time writing in a looong time so beware! I know nothing about the military, so it might be wrong! don't be afraid to correct anything it's all appreciated!! (っ＾▿＾)

Long missions always ended with everyone sitting around in the living room talking about how it went, with a couple bottles of whiskey it often became some sort of therapy session for some but tonight was a bit different, the whiskey was definitely present but everyone was calm mostly chatting about anything.

Did you guys hear that a new restaurant opened downtown? heard its fancy and all. you said, nails tapping the almost empty glass in your hands, most of the team was completely unaware of most things that went down downtown never mind what new restaurants were opening up but one person did speak up The one near the fountains? yeah, heard it even has a dress code, we should go this weekend, it's not always we have a whole weekend free. The person was Gaz, he was the closest to you in age which meant you two were pretty close, you always thought he was pretty attractive but you never acted upon that thought, never wanting to make your nice little friendship into something nonexistent with such words, that didn’t stop your heart from skipping a beat at his offer. Too fancy for me, I'll stay. Soap said followed by a couple agreeing nods from the rest of the squad sitting nearby. Heh, what about we go Gaz? you and I? you said, expecting him to say no or something along those lines Oh yeah, that'd be nice! You felt your cheeks heat up, you were just friends but it still made you blush.

Some time passed after you two decided that you would go out to that fancy place, after some playful teasing from the team and some death stares from you Gaz had decided to make the reservation.

Done, tonight at 7:25 sounds alright? Gaz said, a small smile adorning his lips, you nodded excitedly Yeah sounds great. the rest of the afternoon was spent hanging out with everyone, except for Ghost who was probably hidden in his office finishing paperwork or just plain hiding from everyone else.

6:35 PM Most of the squad had already excused themselves heading to their personal quarters to sleep or just left to who knows where, but you and Gaz were still talking, not even about the date but just about anything, he was one the only people here who you could talk with for hours and not get bored. It's already six? we should get ready y/n don't wanna be late do we? Gaz said followed by a playful wink making you blush, you nodded. Y-you're right I'll go get ready see you here in a bit ya? After you both said you're goodbyes you headed to your room to shower and change. 7:00 PM

Once you had finished getting ready and had blow-dried you're hair you headed to the living room to wait for Gaz, walking into the living room you saw Ghost sitting on a chair reading a book. Oh hey L.T! You said with a small smile, the scary man looked up from his book at you. You are going out? It's late no? He said followed by a small stare as he examined your appearance. Oh yeah um, Gaz and I are going to check out a fancy restaurant that just opened up near downtown. You said fidgeting with your fingers. Hmmmm a date? before Ghost could finish his question you quickly interrupted him A-as Friends! Gaz is cute but I’m sure I'm not his type, he just invited me because he saw I wanted to go... that's all. The smile that had been on your face became a more serious one, you were one of the prettiest people gaz and for that matter, ghost had ever seen, your self-esteem or your lack thereof always made ghost confused but before Ghost could say anything else gaz walked in. Ready y/n? Gaz walked in doing that guy thing where they place their hands on your waist before they move past you he then noticed ghost, and after they exchanged a couple words you and gaz walked out, getting in gaz´s car but not before bickering over who would drive, gaz convincing you to let him drive because ''You where wearing heels it's not safe'' you rolled your eyes playfully agreeing to sit copilot for now. 7:20 PM Once you guys arrived at the restaurant, he quickly ran to open the door of your side of the car, making you chuckle. Such a gentleman huh? You said with a small playful smile I mean what can I say? it's the minimum I can do for someone so stunning as yourself Gaz said followed by a wink, your cheeks burning red. Once the two of you had walked inside and sat at your table you two had ordered some food accompanied by some wine which you gladly drank, maybe a bit too glad because soon enough you were dizzy and talking a bit too much for your own good. D'you remember that time soap was sleepwalking and fell on top of Ghost? You were talking and talking, gaz didn’t mind necessarily he loved the sound of your voice and how it sounded so cheerful even when intoxicated. Honey, what about we stop drinking...don’t want you getting hurt, do we? Gaz was joking, partially, he really didn’t want you getting hurt and less when you were out with him he would feel terrible for weeks if that happened. I’m a-alright…not even that drunk! You mumble shouted catching Gaz off guard and making him chuckle Shhhh love don’t be so loud. He said watching you pout like a little kid, he found it adorable, he found everything you did adorable, well except when you guys are on the field then he thinks you are and look badass, a bit scary but mostly badass he was quickly pulled out from his thoughts by the small whisper of words that fell from your lips. Make me Kyle.

AAAAAND THATS A WRAP

Should I make a second part!? lmk!;)

Hope you enjoyed reading!

#gaz x reader #mw2 #cod #kyle gaz garrick #gaz garrick #x reader #gaz mw2 #gaz fluff #gaz is the best character in cod #muah i love him #I was watching the hunger games while writing this! #kyle gaz garrick x reader #Gaz x you #gender neutral character

[nonbinaryresource]

hmmmm not sure how to phrase this exactly, but I've been looking through the questioning tag and thought I could try just asking specifically. (Sorry it got quite long!)

I'm pretty sure watching too many trans tiktoks did not make me nonbinary, but it sure brought up questions. Mainly, what if relating to nonbinary/trans experiences in my case is just that, relating? I'm thinking I might be nonbinary or trans, all because I suck at almost everything considered my gender, from looks to skills and so my "disphoria" is me not liking how others see me, rather than it being my body. I don't want to be my body to people first and then my person, besides I get the feeling top surgery would make me look and feel aesthetically cooler lol but that's just me

Is that a thing or I'm just extremely in denial?

Not sure if you caught the study we were just reblogging on how dysphoria and transness is not caused by "social contagion" like tiktoks, but if not, it feels relevant to link.

Researchers from the Fenway Institute disproved the theory of "rapid-onset gender dysphoria" (RODG) and determined that "social contagion" does not influence gender identity in the largest study of its kind, published earlier this month in Pediatrics journal.

"The hypothesis that transgender and gender diverse youth assigned female at birth identify as transgender due to social contagion does not hold up to scrutiny and should not be used to argue against the provision of gender-affirming medical care for adolescents," Dr. Alex S. Keuroghlian, the study's senior author and director of Fenway's National LGBTQIA+ Health Education Center, and the Massachusetts General Hospital Psychiatry Gender Identity Program, said in a statement.

But I'm gonna focus on the idea of "what if I just relate to trans experiences but aren't trans?"

Okay.

So.

What if you do?

What?

Then what?

You...find out more about yourself?

You...discover new things about your own feelings and comfort?

You...consider all of the options and come to decide on which label is best for you to adopt?

I'm not seeing a downside here. I'm not seeing anything to panic about. The transphobes have turned exploration and experimentation into the boogeyman. Life is about exploration and experimentation. Capitalism has absolutely ruined us. It's ridiculous to expect children who aren't even done psychologically developing yet to know and pick their life path and dedicate the rest of their life to it, including going thousands of dollars in debt to get a degree if necessary. It's ridiculous to expect people to not explore and experiment and have some damn fun in life, whether that's trying out 60 different jobs to find something that they want to do or discarding and picking up a new hobby each every single week to find what they actually find enjoyable or playing around with genders/sexualities/names/pronouns/clothes/etc. to figure out their feelings and better get to know who they are.

There is nothing - NOTHING - inherently wrong, bad, or immature about exploration and experimentation in life period.

So what if you relate to trans experiences but are actually cis? So what you identify as trans now for whatever length of time and change how you label later? So what?

I am so tired of the idea that anybody knows what they are doing ever. Nobody knows! We're all just making it up! The imposter syndrome we're putting everyone through for every aspect of their lives - from their jobs to their hobbies to their genders to their sexualities - is out of control. The society we have built is not meant for people. And that's incredibly, incredibly heartbreaking.

People should be allowed to play and explore and experiment!

People should be allowed to grow and change!

People should be allowed to be confused and unsure!

People should be allowed to not know!

People should be allowed to try on identities like we try on clothes at the store!

Fuck the self-gaslighting society is pressuring you to put yourself through.

I don't care what you know for sure. I don't care if you're going by a label you're unsure of. I don't care if you're going by a label you know is technically not the most accurate. I don't care if you stuck up a bunch of identity labels on a dart board, threw a dart, and decided to identify as that one. I'm here for you. The messy, confused, complex, hard to understand you. The real you.

Could it be a thing that you relate to trans experiences, don't really relate to cis experiences, and yet are cis? Sure. (Slightly tangential, but I think you might get some food for thought out of this piece of writing.)

But don't sit here thinking you have to identify as cis because you don't have "proof" of being trans. That's not a thing. It's just what the transphobes want you to think. You can identify as any damn thing you want (let's avoid cultural appropriation, though!), even if you're only 0.5% thinking you might be that thing.

If you think you might be nonbinary, practice not giving into the thoughts like "but I can't really be nonbinary because I'm only just now thinking about it". Practice letting yourself try out being nonbinary! For at least several months, unless it's just too terrible and you realize right away that it's not right for you. Don't debate on this or put yourself through a court of law or beat yourself down. Just let yourself be nonbinary. In a couple months, then come back to the questions of "is this right for me?".

And there is no "right" or "wrong" reason to identify with whatever identity. Some people identify as nonbinary because they have a very specific, pinpointable, non-binary gender. Others identify as nonbinary because they're not really sure but nonbinary makes them the most comfortable. Others identify as nonbinary because they want to be nonbinary. Others identify as nonbinary because they don't relate to or don't understand or don't want to identify with the binarily gendered structure of our society. Whatever your reasoning, it's both valid and nobody else's business (though ofc you can tell anybody why if it's what YOU want to do).

~Mod Pluto

P.S. If anything in this ask comes off as angry or frustrated, it is not with you. It is towards society and bigots who purport attitudes that harm people, even if in seemingly "little" ways like making them feel like they can't trust their own feelings.

#nonbinary #questioning #self doubt #self gaslighting #ask #trans #genderqueer #gender #mod pluto #experimentation #exploration #identity #labels

[inchidentally]

I know wives and gf talk isn't for everyone so asks under a cut - and I hate the term 'wag' so I'll start tagging these 'f1partnertalk' for those who want to bl!

right??? and the fact that in his Australia tourism type video with her he refers to her as his 'partner' which to me is both him being socially minded but also respect bc by that time they'd been together 3 and a bit years!

and exactly !! on the one hand he's not using her as a status thing of 'look I have a gf' but he's also made the very smart decision (and I think this was the Webbers influence) of not having her be a secret or a mystery. her acc going private is pretty normal for F1 gfs who aren't using their profile for business but the fact that he casually reminds people about her and that she'll like certain content posted about her or them is enough to stop anyone thinking she's 'fake' or whatever. there were some feeble attempts to claim they were broken up just bc she didn't go to many races but when folks pointed out she was in final year of uni for a very difficult degree it died down.

gotta say though - and this isn't in reply to you it's an aside about comments I see - I find the straight people thing of jumping to theories about marriage for long term relationships SO weird. it's like there's this ticking time bomb for het relationships lol. it's esp weird since they're so young and his career requires him to be so selfish (his and Lando's words) that I'm like how do ppl see that and leap to them marrying buying a house and planning kids when they not only don't live together yet they also spend most of the year apart??? sure they're super mature and stable for their age but who I am now and who I was during hs and college has been so incredibly different! I couldn't imagine making that huge a commitment esp if I had an all consuming career like Oscar does. I just hope those comments (however well meaning) don't reach them bc that feels crazy over-stepping and would be so awkward to read.

these asks I felt like went together really well lol

(this is the post anon refers to) oh anon. idk if you've seen them but have a look through here to enjoy Oscar's 8-year little crush on Lando and I think it's safe to say that Lily will at least have had an inkling about it.

and the thing is that being physical just isn't Oscar's way even with Lily which if Lando was at all hmmmm about then he'll have seen that pretty early on. as anon listed above, Oscar shows his affection for people by including them when he talks about his life (which Lando also gets!) also acts of service and signs of respect (which Lando also gets!)

this is me projecting here but idk the way Oscar talks about the boarding school guys he's still friends with and his friends back in Oz but doesn't post about them or have them to many races just makes me think that Oscar decided very early on to just avoid the distraction of sharing himself on social media apart from memes? he's never wanted to establish any kind of online persona and he got really solid a levels as a backup in engineering if F1 didn't work out so he's never planned to be a public person anyway.

where I'm going w that is that Lando will absolutely by now have learned all of this about Oscar. Oscar will like and respond to content about Lando but most of what Lando gets from him will be the acts of service and signs of respect. which is exactly what Oscar does with Lily, his family, Mark, etc. Oscar's own content will be about generically positive stuff re McLaren and the occasional funny post (like P1,P2,P6?). but the people he considers his most inner circle will stay largely off the map. which lbr is what Lando himself does with a lot of his closest friends! especially since his fame began to grow he's stopped posting a lot of those people and we only hear them bc he mentions seeing them. Lando is Oscar's little long harbored 'crush' and Lily is his long term gf. I feel like if that's obvious to us then it def will be for Lando :)

so we can count ourselves incredibly lucky that Lando being Oscar's teammate means we get as much of a window in on them as we do <3

#inchreplies #f1partnertalk