#honorable mention to both i wanna hold your hand and yesterday
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Doesn't she love me anymore?
(A/N): This was requested by an anon, I hope you like it as much as I do!
Summary: Spencer's daughter starts to question why her mother left the small family early on
Warnings: Mentions/undertones of bullying, an absent parent and descreptions of the concequences for the child, So. Much. Angsty. Feelings.
Wordcount: 2.5k
✨Masterlist✨
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“Daddy?” Spencer turns around from the frying pan to look at his daughter. Against common belief, he is quite the cook. But this only started when he became a father, after he realized a child won’t be able to live off of a diet consisting of coffee and anxiety, just like he did at the time. “Yes, Sweetheart?”
She looks down to the piece of paper on the kitchen counter in front of her. “Why did Mommy leave us?”
The spatula falls to the ground. It’s a question the father did not expect on a Tuesday morning before school. “It’s because of me, isn’t it? She saw me the first time and didn’t want me anymore. It’s my fault Mommy left us, left you, just like Linda said.” Tears begin to stream down her face.
“No no no”, her father is quick to turn off the heat and walks around the island to hug his daughter. “None of this is your fault. I don’t know what this Linda said, but it is not true. Your mother had her own reasons to stay out of our lives, but it has nothing to do with you.”
This doesn’t calm her down. “What are her reasons? Why did she leave us? Why did leave me?” Frantically she tries to keep her sobs down in order to speak. Spencer never has seen her this upset.
“Sweetheart, are you sure you are in the right state to talk about it now? Why don’t we calm down and get something for breakfast on our way to school and talk about it after I pick you up this afternoon?” He suggests, hoping the thought of a cup of hot chocolate from their favorite bakery would help her.
(Y/N) looks up at him with bloodshot and glassy eyes. Snot runs down from her nose. Spencer is quick to get her a tissue and make her blow into it, cringing internally about all those germs. “Do you promise to tell me more after school?” Big eyes look up at him and the father hurts. It hurts him, because there are so many things in her future that will break her and all that because of her mother. He can’t shield her from all of it, as much as he wants to he isn’t able. Because there always will be people, people like this Linda, who will make the girl conscious of her absent mother.
“I promise”, he tells her and holds his little finger out for her. (Y/N) smiles while linking hers with his, knowing her father will keep this promise just like any other of his. “Good, and now pack up we got a bakery to visit!” Quickly the girl grabs the piece of paper in front of her only to shove it into her backpack.
A little later she sits at her desk and looks at her teacher expectantly, just like her fellow classmates. “Ok children, today we won’t work further on our addition and subtraction worksheets-” The teacher’s sentence is cut short by the eruption of cheerful shouts. Just (Y/N) looks at the multiplication sheet in front of her.
The teacher is quick to quiet the class again. “Instead we will continue our work on the mother’s card you started doing yesterday. Linda was so kind to tell me that you don’t have the chance to finish them at home, because your moms are there. That is why you do it here and your worksheets at home.”
With a frown on her face (Y/N) pulls out the blank piece of paper that made her feel bad ever since her teacher handed it out to her yesterday. While everybody around her chatters happily with other classmates, she just stares at the paper. It is a reminder of something she doesn’t have, something she lacks and will never get: A real mother. A hug from her mother. Not even the motherly reassurance one gets after a nightmare. Nothing.
“Hey orphan. Ya realizing your mom doesn’t love you and that’s why she left you?” Linda, someone (Y/N) later learns to call a Mean Girl, struts up to the younger one’s desk. A sigh leaves her lips before answering. “You do know for an orphan I need to have neither a mommy nor a daddy. And I do for a fact have a dad, a loving one actually.”
A more light than hard slap on the back of her head makes the girl’s body jolt. “I don’t care, but I know that your mom hates you enough just after looking at you to know she doesn’t want anything to do with you.” After that Linda goes back to her table, leaving (Y/N) feeling more miserable than before.
Some starring on the paper later her teacher passes her table. “Is there something you want to talk about, Sweetheart? You seem very sad.” That is an obvious fact. Finally the girl is able to lift her gaze. “Miss Ramirez, I don’t know what to do.” This is probably the first time ever she said this sentence in school.
“Mother’s day is in a few days, Sweetie, and this is why we all make these cards. It’s a thank you to your mom and a way to show her how much you love her. You love your mom, don’t you?” The shake of her head shocks the teacher. Immediately an alarming signal rings through her head, because this is a red flag. “Why? Did she do something?”
“Miss Ramirez, I don’t have a mommy. She- she left Daddy and me.” Tears fill (Y/N)’s eyes. Her teacher is quick to hug and sush her. “Oh Sweetie, this is not a bad thing. I’m sure your mom loves you very much, even if she is not there with you. Do you wanna go out for a bit to calm down?” Meanwhile she connects the obvious signs of a single dad in her mind. Missed parent teacher conferences, unnecessary hovering over the child and the tendency to be categorized as a helicopter parent. Yes, Dr. Reid ticks all of those boxes.
It’s the second time of the day that an adult asked (Y/N) to calm down, and frankly it doesn’t really help with the situation at hand. “Can I do my homework outside? It’s too loud in here”, she asks between sniffles. Both of them know that the class’ volume is not the real reason for the request. “Of course, Sweetheart. If you need something, just come in and ask me. Alright?” (Y/N) nods and gets her multiplication sheet and a pencil before leaving the classroom.
At the end of the school day, Spencer is there to pick up his daughter. For days like these, where are no cases, Hotch gave him a free pass on (Y/N)’s very first day at school to leave the office earlier to be able to pick her up himself. As a father and someone who works the same high demanding job as him, he knows that little things like these are often the most important. And even if there were a case today, Spencer would have stayed back. He promised his daughter the truth and this is what he is going to tell her.
“Hey Dr. Reid. Do you have a moment?” Her teacher greets him at the classroom door. Concerned about his child’s wellbeing he nods and follows her back out of the room. “I gave the children the assignment of creating a card for their mothers, because mother’s day is rolling around. Today (Y/N) told me her mother left you, is that right?” This is the moment Spencer connects the dots. This is the kick off that made her question her mother’s motives about leaving all of the sudden.
The young doctor clears his throat. “Uhm yes, that is right. Actually, I’m going to talk to her about it right after school on her demand.” Miss Ramirez nods with an understanding nod. “Thank you for your honesty, Dr. Reid. I also want to warn you, in two days we will hold a celebration in honor of mother’s day with the kids’ mothers. You are invited as a father, because this is a special situation. But I also give (Y/N) a free pass for this event. It can be very traumatic for her.”
The dad thanks her, but his thoughts are somewhere else. He is mad. He is mad for his daughter, because she will always be the one with a “special situation”. The odd one, because yeah, it isn’t uncommon for fathers to leave (which isn’t anything less sad and traumatic), but an absent mother hits differently.
But Spencer is also hurt. Hurt, because for her young age, there is already the word “traumatic” thrown around. No, it isn’t enough that her dad works a job with the risk of him not coming home from a case again, or being the target of an enemy. No, she also has to go through the experience of missing a parent, never knowing how her life would be if it wasn’t for someone like her mother.
Even with Spencer trying to fill that role, there will be a time where (Y/N) will ask herself all of the “what ifs”. He can’t stop it from happening, and that is his biggest pain right there. Because he can’t shield her from her own thoughts. At the age of six she already is a bright, brilliant and talented mind. Now in a few years or maybe just months, she will start to think about her mother being the root of her pain, bad experiences and hurt. Her thoughts will lead to a downward spiral of how a person can do something like her mother, who acted like that with the knowledge of which consequences will follow. And Spencer can’t stop this from happening.
“Daddy!” A small thud comes from (Y/N) colliding with his leg. Just by the way she squeezes it he knows that she hasn’t had a good day at school. “Hey Baby. Do you want to go to the office for a bit? I think your Auntie Penelope told me something about a new science set she got for you. Or do you want to go straight home?” Spencer asks after lifting her into his arms. Immediately she hides her face into the crook of his neck. “Home”, she murmurs. Home it is then.
“Aaaaaand here comes the little missy’s hot chocolate!” The father says in a funny voice while carefully putting the cup into his daughter’s hands. She sits covered in a blanket on the sofa, looking expectantly at her father.
Spencer sighs at the lack of reaction. “Are you sure you want to hear it?” (Y/N) nods adamantly. “Ok, but I got to go a bit back for this story
“It was about eight years ago, I worked on a case with your Aunties and Uncles back then. I was the one who had to get the last round of coffee for the night at a small 24/7 diner. As I walked in I thought I died, because I was sure an angel stood right in front of me. Well not-” “Is that Mommy?!” (Y/N) cuts him off excitedly. Spencer smiles slightly. “You need to listen to the story!” The girl shifts in her seat. “Right, sorry.”
As I was saying: well in front, because she sat at the bar waiting for her order. I nervously ordered the coffees and had to begin three times, because I kept messing up, mesmerized by her sole atmosphere. As the waiter went to put the coffee pot on, the woman turned towards me and introduced herself. After that she asked me what I was doing late at night in a small town like that and we somehow forgot everything around us by just talking. After that we stayed in touch. Six months later we became a couple, she moved to DC in order for me to still be able to do my job here.
“Two years later your Mom got pregnant with you, and it was quite a surprise to us. But we felt ready at that time and so she moved in with me and we had you. The first few months were great, we couldn’t be happier. BUt then you continuously became ill. At first just a cold, then the pocks and so on. I think it was the third night in a row where you held us up all night. I took a year off from work to care for you with your Mom. I carried you through our apartment the whole night, giving you a bottle, singing, reading, doing anything.
“Then I saw her standing in the doorway. Even though there was baby vomit on her sweatpants and I had never seen her eye bags being this dark, she was the most beautiful woman to me. I approached her with a smile, but her frown only deepened. I thought it was because she worried about you and your health. Instead she told me she can’t do it. She can’t be a mother, that she wasn’t cut for this job.” Her exact words still resonate in Spencer’s ears to this day. He knows exactly what she said, word for word, and they never stopped to sting any less.
“So Mommy left us because I was too much trouble?” (Y/N)’s voice sounds even sadder than before. “No, it never was because of you. She knew exactly what it meant to have a child. Your mother knew what kind of work it takes and what the future brought. You have absolutely nothing to do with it. Some people are just not made to be parents and it’s better when they realize it themselves and leave the situation.”
(Y/N) nods, her mind running wild. All of that makes plenty of sense but at the same time not. “Sweetheart, that doesn’t change the fact that I love you and I will never leave you. You are my everything and I’m so happy to be a dad to such a wonderful little girl like you. I want you to remember that your Mom may not be here with us, but she still loves you. And I’m here for you, for anything you need, want or don’t want. Do you understand me?”
She nods again and curls up into her father’s lap. “Can we watch something?” She asks after a bit of silence, where both of them indulged their own thoughts. Quickly the TV turned on and some kids movie plays. The rest of the day the small family spends all the time cuddled on the couch, because at the moment they need to feel the other there with them.
The next two days Spencer calls (Y/N) in sick at school and himself at work, because together they fly to Vegas. Just because her own mother wasn’t ready for the job, doesn’t mean they can’t appreciate the work her grandmother did as a mother. That and you never know how much time you have left with the people who are dear to you.
Taglist:
All works:
@dindjarinsspouse @big-galaxy-chaos @jswessie187 @kneelforloki
Criminal Minds:
@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl @herecomesthewriterwitch @ash19871962 @ellyhotchner
Spencer Reid x child!reader:
@ilovetaquitosmmmm
#spencer reid x child!reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x daughter!reader#spencer reid#x reader#x child!reader#x daughter!reader#reid!reader#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x fanfiction
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Happy birthday, Jordan
It wasn’t even 4am when Hal woke up to the gentle green glow of his ring announcing a new message from the Corps. They really couldn’t leave him alone, even on his birthday now, could they?
He had half a mind to pretend not to notice and go back to sleep. His last mission had been short but exhausting, leaving him completely drained. His dark circles had dark circles at this point, even though he had slept basically all day the day before, waking up only to go to the bathroom and eat half an apple and a toast.
Unfortunately for him – and fortunately for the Corps – Hal Jordan was a devoted man and an Honor Lantern so he kind of had to.
With a loud groan, he straightened a bit so he could prop his chin in his hand, not moving from his position on the bed where he was sprawled on his stomach, pillow still half under him. He had been Earth-side for barely two days, if they were expecting from him to look decent, they could fuck right off.
But when he ordered his ring to open the message, he was greeted by a short and simple: Happy birthday, Hal! Just this. It made him smile (and also breathe a bit more easily, he really didn’t want to go back to space this quickly.)
Then his ring pinged again and there was a little hologram of his fellow Green Lanterns. He could see Kilowog and Tomar, Jess and Simon. John and Kyle, the younger man grinning like a five year old as he held a notepad with a caricature of Hal drawn on it and come on Kyle, my head is not that big. There was also Guy. Who was… Hal sighed, shaking his head. Guy was harboring a shit eating grin while flipping him off. Typical.
Before going back to sleep, he sent back a simple thank you note to all of them and then, for good measure, he sent another one to Guy with a hologram of himself flipping the bird.
He swore he could hear him laugh all the way to earth. That asshole.
* * *
The second time he woke up, around three o’clock in the afternoon, Hal felt a lot less like a zombie. He probably still had a few hours of sleep to catch up on but it was nothing he couldn’t survive without. He had to be up in a couple of hours for monitor duty anyway, so might as well wake up a bit earlier and enjoy some peace before going back to work.
There was a little cardboard box on his kitchen counter when he emerged from the shower, with a fancy little ribbon and a card. He didn’t even need to open the card to know who it was.
Firstly, because Carol was the only one, with Barry, who had a spare key to his apartment in case he had an emergency call from the Corps and, secondly, because it just had her name written all over it. He recognized the design on the box being from that fancy French bakery close to her apartment and knew that when he would open it, he’d find a generous slice of their famous lemon meringue pie.
He ate it in silence with some coffee, responding to the different birthday wishes he had received. Some were from Tom and a bunch of coworkers. There were also several audio messages from his nephew and niece trying to figure out how to work around the feature until their parents probably had had enough and had decided to take family photos instead. Six in total, all of them blurry. But at least Hal could somehow guess what was written on the sign his niece was holding. It made him laugh and he decided to call his brother, just to tease him.
They ended up talking for a while. It felt good, this small bit of normalcy.
* * *
Hal was on his way for the monitor room, two cups of coffee in hands, when he heard someone call his name. Ah. He had hoped no one would catch him before monitor duty. He was already on the brink of running late and god knew Batman disliked lateness. But hey, after all it was his birthday.
“Hal! Hang on!”
He turned around just when Clark arrived at his level. The other man was smiling widely at him, holding a small plate with a cupcake on it in his big hands and looking like an oversized golden retriever puppy.
“Lois made enough cupcakes for an army because she was bored at home yesterday – I’m starting to think that forced leave really wasn’t our boss’ greatest idea but anyway. She told me to bring it here for everyone,” he said before Hal could even ask anything. “There’s a whole plate in the lounge but with Barry around I thought I’d give you one for your birthday before he wolfs them down.”
He snorted at that because, honestly, that was fair. Because of his powers, Barry was basically a walking stomach and everybody knew he had a giant sweet tooth.
“Thanks, Clark.”
“You’re welcome. And happy birthday!” he said, floating away.
Hal had given up on trying to balance the plate and his two cups in his hands, using a construct instead, when Dinah pounced on him, quickly followed by Oliver and Barry. She was the first one to hug him, kissing his cheek gently.
“Happy birthday, hot stuff.”
“Thanks, Di.”
“Hal, my man! Happy birthday!” Oliver shouted before squishing Hal’s cheek between two big, callous hands, not even waiting for Dinah to be out of his arms.
In retrospect, he should have expected it – it was Oliver after all, the guy didn’t know what “inhibition” meant – but, he couldn’t stop his eyes from going wide as saucers as the blond placed a resounding kiss right on his lips.
“So? How’s that for a birthday present?” he asked, smug, earning himself an eye roll from both Barry and Dinah.
“That was my present?”
“Yes. Wonderful isn’t?”
“Truly. I’m delighted. Such a generous present.”
“I’m a generous man.”
“So charitable.”
All eyes turned on Barry.
“Was that sarcasm, Bear?”
The speedster fixed Oliver with a blank stare. He looked even more exasperated than usual, which made Hal snicker. People assumed way too often that Barry was a goody two shoes but Hal had witnessed firsthand how quick witted he really was. “A snarky little shit” Oliver had called him once. And he was right.
“Happy birthday, Harold,” Barry said after a few seconds of silent judgement, opening his arms to embrace Hal.
He returned the hug good heartedly.
“Bear, you can’t wish me happy birthday and then call me Harold. That’s not legal, buddy.”
“Just say thank you.”
Hal simply squeezed him one last time before letting him go, winking at the group as he started to walk down the corridor again.
“Gotta go. Don’t want Bats to be mad at me on my birthday.”
“Like that would bother you!”
“Well yes, actually,” he almost said but he didn’t want to spend the next thirty minutes explaining to Oliver why so he pretended he hadn’t heard.
Truth was, Hal and Bruce were friends. Good friends, even. Recently, the pilot had even caught himself hoping for them to become more than that. They still had disagreements of course, they were both stubborn but they were past that now. Most of the time, it felt more like some weird kind of aggressive flirting than a real fight.
Hal enjoyed the other man’s company, especially now that he was comfortable enough with him to talk about more personal matters, like his family and boy did Bruce had things to say about the weird little clique that was his family. The fond look on his face just made it all the more worth it.
He cherished those hours spent together on the Watchtower, sometimes wishing they could do this outside of their hero work. Maybe he could pretend to need help on the Javelin’s new update to see him. She needed one and the only other person who knew her as well as Hal did was Bruce. He could buy him dinner too.
Sounds like a plan, he thought, entering the monitor room.
Bruce was already there, of course. His cowl was pulled back like every time when they were paired up, his hair looking ridiculously good even mussed. The man was always so effortlessly pretty, it was revolting.
“You’re late, Jordan.”
He didn’t even glance in Hal’s direction but it wasn’t like he needed to check that it was him.
“Better late than never, Spooks.”
That earned him a huff and then he saw Bruce slide a cup of coffee towards him on the desk.
Oh.
“It’s probably cold now.”
Lukewarm was probably more accurate – Hal wasn’t that late. But he refrained from mentioning it to the other man, instead grabbing the two still steaming cups from his tray construct and handing his to Bruce.
“I thought about preparing some too, so lucky us, I guess.”
He smirked at the Bat, oddly proud when Bruce smiled back, even just slightly.
“Miss Lane’s?” Bruce asked, nodding in direction of his construct while taking a sip of his coffee.
Hal looked back at the still floating, green glowing tray and reached out to retrieve the plate Clark had given him.
“Yep. Wanna share? It was your birthday yesterday after all. And happy belated birthday. By the way.”
It wasn’t lost on Hal that he had completely forgotten to even text him for his birthday but, like he had said, better late than never. He knew it probably hadn’t bothered Bruce, maybe hadn’t even registered with him that Hal hadn’t said anything but it sure did bother the pilot that he had forgotten. Bruce smiled again anyway, something small and secretive. Something just for him to see. Hal could feel an unusual blush creep up his cheeks.
“No, thank you,” Bruce said, turning back towards the screens in front of them, the cup Hal had given him cradled in his gauntleted hands. “Clark actually flew all the way to Gotham yesterday to bring us some. I left it for the kids. Too sweet.”
Hal had to laugh at that.
“Says the guy who takes his coffee with a metric ass load of sugar and cream in it.”
“I’m full of surprises.”
Bruce side-eyed him, half hiding a smirk behind the rim of his cup and Hal laughed again.
They focused on the monitors after that, a companionable silence between them, and Hal regretted not sleeping those two extra hours earlier. He could feel the bone deep tiredness take over him after a mere half an hour, his body sagging in his chair and relaxing into it despite his best efforts to stay alert.
He was nodding off, barely even conscious anymore, when he felt Bruce take his cup from his lax fingers.
“Idiot,” he heard him whisper and Hal wanted to retort something but he was too far gone to even form a coherent thought at this point.
Then he felt fingers graze his forehead, brushing away wild strands of hair, followed by a pair of slightly chapped lips pressing there. He automatically leaned into the gentle touch, sighing long and deep. The lips stayed there a second longer, lingering and warming up his skin, his whole body.
Hal wanted to wake up, to say something cheeky or, even better, just kiss Bruce. Properly. On the lips. Like he had been longing to do. But all he managed was a weak little whine as he turned his head towards the other man.
“Happy birthday, Jordan,” was the last thing he heard before drifting off completely.
(A few seconds later. Training room. Watchtower.
“Hey, Ollie?”
“What is it, Barry?”
“I think I just saw Bruce kiss Hal.”
“WHAT?!”)
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Sub Rosa [53]
viii. god complex
Pairing: Bellamy Blake x reader
Word Count: 5.1k
Warnings: blood mentions, death by radiation, sketchy doctor experimentation, violence, anxiety, nausea.
Summary: with the death wave rapidly approaching, the question on everyone’s mind is: how far are you willing to go to save the human race?
a/n: the taglist for this series is open! I hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think!!!
previous chapter // season masterlist // series masterlist
March 21st, 2150; Becca’s Lab
Your radio call with Bellamy leaves you in a good mood for a few hours, but that it quickly vanishes with the arrival of the black rain and the questionable experimentation on Baylis. During your call with Bellamy, your mom gave Baylis a dose of Nightblood, and you all wait around a few hours to make sure it has time to integrate with his system. Once it does, everyone is called to the lab to watch the testing that may save the human race, as horrifying as it may be.
Which is where you are now, standing beside Clarke near the radiation tube. Everyone else is scattered around the lab but also watching closely. Baylis is strapped inside, hooked up to monitors, tubes and wires connected to his body in various locations. Jackson checks over Baylis one last time as your mom monitors the screens in front of her. “Vital signs are strong. Jackson, seal the chamber.”
Jackson seals the chamber, his face blank of any emotion. “He’s ready.”
“Yeah, but are we?” You look over at Raven as she asks, her body rigid. Luna is near her, looking similarly upset. The air in the room is tense, nearly everyone opposed to what you’re about to do. Some of you can forgive the questionable tactics if it means saving your people, and the human race, but some of you can't. You’re conflicted, because as awful as Baylis seems to be, sticking someone into a tube and pumping radiation inside is an awful way to potentially die.
Emori, who seems okay with the decision, given what he did to her and her brother remind you all, “The guy's a monster.”
Clarke, tired of the arguing, looks around the room at each of you. “We've been over this. None of us wants to do this, but the death wave will be here in 10 days. Luna's stem cells grafted successfully, and Baylis is making nightblood on his own. This really is our only hope.”
Murphy backs up both Clarke and Emori. “We really still talking about this? Black rain is already here, and 18 people died in it yesterday at Arkadia. If Nightblood can let us walk around in it, I, for one, want to know about that.”
There’s another moment of hesitation, before your mom speaks up. “Okay. Jackson, proceed.”
“Copy that.” He reaches for the controls for the chamber, slowly spinning a dial. “Initiating...500 REM.”
All of you watch Baylis closely, and other than the changing lights in the chamber, his eyes are still closed, blissfully unaware of the radiation around him. Jackson moves the dial again, increasing the radiation. “850. This is where we'd see symptoms in a non-Nightblood.”
You and Clarke move closer to the chamber, getting a better look, searching for any signs of redness or lesions as your mother calls out, “Blood pressure is 100 over 50. Body temp is 98.7. Resting comfortably.”
And still, Baylis is unmoving, appearing exactly the same as when he was put inside the chamber. You tell your mom, “No visible effects.”
Jackson turns the dial again, increasing it even higher. “1,000 REM….1,500.”
“All good here.”
“2,000 REM, the level of the black rain.”
Clarke smiles from her place beside you, “Still nothing, it's working.”
You see Roan on the other side of the chamber also smiling, as Jackson increases the radiation once more. “2,500.”
The reaction is instantaneous. The machine in front of your mother starts to beep loudly, signaling a spike in Baylis’ heartbeat. And as you and Clarke watch the man, red spots start to appear on his body, burns caused by the radiation. They spread over him quickly, some of them turning to lesions and Clarke yells, “Turn it off!”
But it’s too late. Baylis wakes from whatever medication your mother was giving him, screaming out in pain, “It stings! It stings!”
Your mom rushes towards the chamber, ready to pull it open, “Get him out of there!” But Jackson grabs her and holds her back, “Wait! It's not safe yet!”
As you wait for the radiation to get sucked out of the chamber, you all watch in horror as Baylis continues to scream. His screams turn to coughing up blood, thick and black, all over the glass around him, until he grows still, head slumped to the side. The computer behind you flatlines, indicating that Baylis is dead, killed by radiation, and soon, so will the rest of you.
Your mother's voice is a horrified whisper as she stares at the dead man in the chamber. “What have I done?”
-
It takes a few more minutes for the chamber to clear up, but as soon as it does, your mother pulls it open, and her and Jackson transfer Baylis from the chamber onto a gurney. She takes a final blood sample from him before covering his body, ready to bury him as soon as the black rain stops. You stare at the blood soaked chamber in front of you, and the sight of it makes you sick, reminding you what you've done in order to survive. Another death that you could have prevented, another kill that you had a hand in. Maybe you deserve the Wanlida title, maybe you deserve to be called a monster. You walk off in search of some rags and cleaner, and when you return, Raven has a video feed pulled up for the death wave heading your way. Though it’s still 10 days out, it gets closer and closer with every passing second, reminding all of you of your impending deaths, especially now that Nightblood has failed.
You head straight back to the chamber and start to clean the blood from it, and seconds later someone appears at your side, jumping in to help. You look over and see Luna, who still looks bothered by the whole situation, but you nod at her in appreciation. You sit side by side and clean the chambers, as Jackson, your mom, and Clarke all pour over the blood analysis from Baylis. “Abby, take a look at this.”
Luna turns to you, a stone bracelet in her hand, found at the end of the chamber. “The stones of his ancestors.”
She hands them to you and you look them over, as Clarke questions what’s on the screen behind her. “What is it?”
“Sodium polyethanol sulfonate. It's an additive used to prevent clotting. Looks like the radiation broke it down and caused a chain reaction.”
You pass the stones back to Luna, your attention now on the conversation behind you, not sure you like where this is going. Clarke looks between Jackson and your mother. “What happens if we remove it?”
“We could save everyone.”
Out of the corner of your eyes, you see the others perk up and come closer, listening in on the conversation between the medical staff. Murphy is the first to butt in. “You could? So, you're saying this can still work.”
“Not without testing.”
Raven turns towards your mother, angry and incredulous. “The last guy just died, screaming in agony, and you wanna try it again?”
Clarke turns towards her, already in defense of your mother, and this experimentation. “Give us a better idea, Raven. Please.”
Murphy shrugs and gestures to the exit of the lab, “So what? We just go out there, hunt for someone else?”
Miller, whose head was down, leaning against the metal stairs listening to the chaos, lifts his head. “No one's going anywhere in this storm.”
“Then we wait for it to pass.”
Roan looks over at Murphy, refuting his argument. “When it does, there may not be anyone else to hunt for.”
“Hunting for someone else to kill.” Luna scoffs, looking everyone over. “What's the matter with you people? Even Baylis honored the dead, he wore the stones of his Rock Line ancestors. Who will honor him?”
Rock Line? You turn to her, looking confused. “Wait, Baylis was Sangedakru.”
Emori steps forward, speaking for the first time. “He was, he was also a thief. He probably stole those stones.”
Roan, now also suspicious, looks at Emori as if he doesn't believe a word she's saying. “A thief who didn't bear the mark of Sangedakru.”
Clarke looks over at you, and you can see the wheels turning in her head, before she reaches a conclusion, and turns to Emori. “That wasn't Baylis, was it?”
“Come on Clarke, that's crazy. Of course-”
She cuts Murphy off, “Who did we just kill?”
You all turn to look at the couple in shock, waiting for their answer. Instead, Emori takes off running, grabbing an IV pole and lifting it over her head, intending to smash the radiation chamber. Roan grabs her and lifts a knife to her throat, and she yells, “John, take out the machine!”
Murphy immediately tries to smash the machine, but Miller is faster than he is and pulls out his gun, pointing it at Murphy. “Don't do anything stupid, Murphy.”
Roan looks between the couple and muses, “Looks like we know who's next.”
You look at him in shock, and Clarke walks off to get two sets of flexicuffs for the couple. A few minutes later, they open the doors to the rocket and handcuff them to the stairs that lead up to the rocket door, securing them in place, while the rest of you watch on in horror. As everyone walks out of the room and the doors are closed behind you, Murphy yells, “Now you're gonna lock us up!? She was just trying to save her own life. We're not gonna touch your stupid machine, all right? Please, Clarke! You can't do this to us! You can't let them do this to us!”
As the doors securely slide shut, Raven walks over to your mother and Clarke, who are standing nearby, looking at blood samples. “Please tell me you're not actually considering putting Emori in that chamber.”
Clarke, at the very least, does look conflicted as she turns to your mom. “Mom, I don't know what else to do.”
Roan answers before she can reassure your twin, giving her a serious look. “There is nothing else to do. We all know it.”
“Abby, there has to be something that doesn't make us murderers.”
Your mom looks at Raven, who refuses to back down and allow this to go on. “Jackson and I examined every possibility, and the only thing that we know for sure, is that if we do nothing, we die.”
She lets her words sink in, and then she glances over at Luna, who is nearby, leaning against a table. As you follow her eyes over to the Nightblood, you get your first good look at her in a while. There are large, dark rings around her eyes, indicating how tired she is and how much blood has been taken from her. She’s leaning against the table because her hip, the site of the bone marrow, is hurting, leaving her in pain. Her skin is pale, and she looks terrible, clearly unable to handle much more of this. Your mom, however, doesn't seem to notice. “Jackson, prep Luna for the next extraction.”
“No.” Everyone turns to Luna in shock, not expecting the words from her. “You've taken enough.”
“Luna, it's okay, we'll sedate you.”
“I said no. I won't allow my blood to kill any more innocent people.”
Without her blood, the human race will die, killing much more innocent people in the process. But something about this situation, about torturing Emori and potentially killing her just because she lied to save herself, seems worse than condemning the human race to extinction. The moral dilemma is not lost on you, you can see how complicated the situation is, but despite barely knowing Emori, you still don't want to watch her die.
“My blood is a curse. It will, however, keep you from following me into the rain.”
Luna starts to head towards the stairs, dragging her injured leg behind her. Roan steps into her path, right at the base of the stairs, radiating power and authority. “We can't let you leave.”
Clarke echoes his sentiment, as she watches Luna with pleading eyes. “We need you, Luna.”
Luna ignores both of them, heading towards the stairs again, but Roan stops her again. “You're wounded, and I don't wanna fight you.”
“You have no choice. Remember?”
She spins and lands a kick on his chest with her good leg, sending Roan flying into a cart of medical supplies behind him. The kick hurts Luna just as much as it hurts Roan, her body struggling to hold up her weight. Roan pulls himself to his feet and stalks towards her, swinging a kick to her back that knocks her onto the ground with a loud cry of pain. He grabs her in a chokehold, putting pressure on her neck until she falls unconscious, as you all watch on in shock. Once she's knocked out, Roan lifts her into his arms and lays her onto one of the beds nearby, looking at your mom as if to say, “Here you go.”
You and Raven, the only two besides Murphy and Emori who seem to despise this, share a look with each other, equal parts shock and horror. She turns to your mom, her voice a horrified whisper, “So you're gonna strap her down and take her bone marrow? Welcome to Mount Weather.”
You feel a roll of nausea, a flash of memories coming at you. Hiding in the vent system, watching Dr. Tsing drill into one of the delinquents as he clings to his last thread of life. Bellamy hanging upside down, unwillingly healing one of the men that killed your people. Fox, bloodied and bruised, dumped into a minecart like trash, dead. Your mom strapped down, drilled into while you, Bellamy, and Clarke are faced with an impossible decision.
You shake your head, unable to stand this room for another second. Emotion pricks at your eyes and anxiety washes over you, feeling panicky at the thought of standing in this room and watching someone else die just so the rest of you can live. A decision you’ve been faced with before, but something about this is so much different. Your feet carry you out of the room, up the stairs, and to the office. You don’t realize what you're doing until your hand is reaching for the radio, already switching the channel to 4, the one you and Bellamy agreed to talk on. “Bellamy, do you read me?”
You wait for an answer, but you're met with silence. Emotion rises in you again, choking you, making your voice sound thick. “Bellamy, please tell me you’re there, I need to talk to you.”
You’re met with a long moment of silence, and you put your head down in your hands, ready to cry your eyes out. Just as the tears start to fall, Bellamy’s voice comes through the radio, sounding worried, “My natshana, are you okay?”
“No.”
A sob breaks free from you, and you let the button go, not wanting Bellamy to hear you cry. “Are you hurt? What’s wrong?”
Tears spill down your cheeks, the emotion tight in your throat, leaving you unable to speak. You sit listening to the sound of his voice, tears falling down your face as he worries. “Talk to me, please.”
“We killed someone today when we tried to test Nightblood. Bellamy, it was awful. He was coughing up blood, burns and lesions appearing all over his body as he screamed in pain. He died in complete agony, and the test didn't even work. We failed. But now…”
You trail off, thinking of watching Emori die in the same way. Then Murphy, if that doesn't work. And once they’re dead, who’s next? Who will death bring to the table next, Wanlida?
“But now what?”
“Now they think they know what went wrong, and they want to test it again.”
“On another Grounder?”
“Something like that. Emori, one of us. It’s complicated because she lied to us, and I think people are using that as a reason to justify this being okay, but Bellamy I can't do that. I can't rationalize in my head that she deserves to die just because she was trying to save her life in the first place. If this is the price of survival, it’s too high, too much. And maybe we don’t deserve it.”
He’s quiet, taking everything in, before he whispers, “Do you remember what I told you when Pike offered you that leadership position?”
“That he was right to trust me, because I don't back down when things get hard.”
“That’s right. And I always thought that I did what was right for our people, but sometimes what I thought was right, wasn't. But you, you have always done what’s right for us. Even when things are hard, you don't back down. You make the tough decisions, the right decisions, because others can’t. It sounds like this is one of those decisions.”
You think on his words, mull them over, a plan already forming in your mind. A smile spreads on your face, because Bellamy always knows exactly what to say to you. “Thank you, Bellamy.”
You hear a knock on the glass, and you look up, meeting Clarke’s eyes. She pushes the door open and tips her head down to the lab. “We’re about to start.”
“Okay.” You lift the radio, “Bellamy, I have to go.”
You hear a door slam in the background when he answers, “Looks like I do too.”
“Wait, where are you?”
He sighs, “I’ll explain later. Radio as soon as you can, same channel.”
“Copy that. I love you.”
“I love you more than the stars.”
You smile and set the radio down, pushing the chair back and standing, looking up at your twin as you do. The conflict of this decision seems to be wearing on her just as heavily, the sag in her shoulders worse that normal, a frown permanently etched onto her face. You hate to do it, but you know you need to feed into her conflict, make her doubt the plan, because if you can turn Clarke onto your side, most of the others will follow suit. You walk towards the door, squeezing her arm as you walk past, whispering, “What would dad think about all this?”
You don’t wait for her response, you just keep walking towards the stairs, shuffling down them and coming to stand at the bottom. Clarke joins you a second later, and you can see the conflict in her still, growing deeper with every passing second. Still, she presses the button to the door for the rocket and walks into the room, Miller and Roan right at her side. “It’s time.”
Murphy looks at her in a panic, “Guys, just wait, okay? Hear me out.”
Clarke nods, trying to convince him, and herself. “It'll work this time.”
Tears spring up in Emori’s eyes, and her voice is thick with tears as she insists, “Then how about we just go with that and forget the test?”
Clarke turns to Miller and nods, and the man steps forward and injects Emori with a sedative, knocking her out instantly. Murphy starts to fight, yelling with rage and emotion, “Miller! Miller, I swear to God, I'll kill y-”
Roan cuts him off by putting a knife to his throat, but he ignores it as his threats turn to begging, watching as Miller takes his love away. “Miller, please. Just look at me, man. You don't need to do this!”
“I wish that were true.”
Miller backs out of the room with Emori over his shoulder, and Roan steps away from Murphy to follow him, leaving you, Clarke, and Murphy alone. He turns on Clarke, pissed. “You don't have to do this! Who the hell do you think you are, huh?”
Her jaw is clenched tight, Murphy only aiding in her conflict. “I'm trying to save us.”
“Save us? Ah, right. Wanheda, savior of us all! But maybe you're forgetting the last time you saved us, I was saving you!”
“I'm not forgetting.”
He tries to throw his hands up in frustration, and you get a look at the blood running over them, covering the bruises that are starting to bloom on his wrists from his struggles with the cuffs. “You haven't forgotten? Then, please, you don't need to do this. Don't do it.”
Hearing Murphy beg is foreign to you, and only aids in the nausea already starting to roll through you again. You glance back and see Emori laid out in a bed, awaiting her injections. Murphy switches to anger, his emotions high and running all over the place. “You know, it's too bad that you weren't a real Nightblood, because then you could have been Commander. Imagine how many people you could've killed then. Tell me something, after you murder Emori, am I next?”
Clarke says nothing, just turns her head away from him, and you start to think that maybe he is next. Murphy may be a scumbag cockroach, but even he has his redeeming qualities, and you’re not eager to see him killed. He continues his emotional campaign with desperation, the sound of it absolutely breaking your heart. “I'm begging you, please. I love her! Don't do this!”
Clarke’s jaw shifts, trying to keep her emotions in check. “Emori will be fine.”
She turns away, already heading towards the door, walking past you on the way. The movement must have reminded Murphy of your presence because he yells at her retreating figure, “Look at me! If Emori dies...your twin dies!”
Clarke stills in place for a fraction of a second, and you look at Murphy, knowing he means it. But then she continues out the door, and Murphy turns to you, voice low and pleading. “You have to help her, I love her! I love her the way you love Bellamy, please! You can't let them kill her!”
You close the space between you, voice low and quiet. “I won't.”
And then you turn and walk out of the room, the door closing behind you. Once you step back into the lab, your eyes start cataloguing things, forming a plan. Miller and Roan are by the stairs, Raven is hovering nearby. Jackson is near the computers, your mom and Clarke are near Emori’s sleeping form. There’s a table beside her, a tray on its surface, two vials of Nightblood on the tray.
When you reach them, and everyone is accounted for, your mom reaches for the Nightblood vial, ready to inject Emori. But as soon as it's in her hand, moving towards the patient’s arm, she freezes, unable to do it. Clarke leans towards her and whispers, “Mom, we have to do this.”
“I can't.”
She turns and puts the vial back on the tray, stepping away and turning her back to Emori, unable to look at her. Clarke walks over her to comfort her, and you eye the Nightblood vials, forgotten on the tray. You glance at Jackson, who’s not paying attention, and Roan and Miller are behind you, unable to see around you. You grab the vial, hold it in your hand, and start to move towards your arm when a hand lands over your own, stopping you. You look up in surprise, meeting Clarke’s eyes, who lifts her other hand, revealing the other vial of Nightblood. She whispers, “Stronger together.”
You nod your head, and at the same time, you push the vials of Nightblood into your arm, injecting yourselves instead of Emori. Jackson says both of your names in shock, the only one to witness what you’ve done, and your mom turns around, eyes landing on the needles coming out of your arm in horror. She rushes towards both of you, but it’s too late. Each vial of Nightblood is empty, now injected into the Griffin Twins, starting the process of becoming Nightbloods.
The black blood traces a path through your veins, and you watch it track its way up your arm until it disappears beneath your sleeve. Your mother starts to cry, horrified, and the weight of what you and Clarke just did starts to hit you. It’s either you or your twin going in that chamber, and odds are high that whoever it is won’t come out again. Still, you try to use humor to diffuse the situation, locking eyes with your twin as you ask, “Aren’t twins usually the best test subjects anyways?”
-
Everyone waits around for two hours before Jackson motions each of you to a bed, ready to check to see if your blood has changed. He moves over to you first, drawing a vial of blood from your arm, and you watch in fascination as black liquid fills up the vial. He does the same to Clarke, and her blood is the same, no longer red like it used to be. You both look at each other and whisper, “It worked.”
Jackson puts both of your vials onto the lab table behind him, before standing in front of you again. “It’s been two hours, how do you feel?”
“Good.”
“Ready.”
You and Clarke stand, walking over to the chamber, but your mom stops in front of your path, blocking you. “I won't let either of you do it.”
Clarke puts a comforting hand on her arm. “We trust you, it’ll work.”
“Besides, you were willing to use it on Emori. Now you have to be willing to use it on us.” You turn to Jackson, nodding your head at him. “Turn it on.”
“Jackson, don’t!” Your mom looks between you, looking terrified. “If either of you go in there, you’ll die. I saw it.”
You shake your head, not understanding. “What are you talking about?”
“I saw it.”
Raven questions, “Like I saw the rocket?”
Your mom nods, but you shake your head, still not understanding what she means. Clarke is growing equally frustrated and confused, and she starts to walk towards the chamber again, reaching out for your hand to take you with her. “We're wasting time.”
As soon as your mom sees you on the move again, she freaks out. She pushes past both of you and grabs an IV pole, the same one Emori tried to use earlier, and she starts to smash the radiation chamber. You all yell at her to stop, every single one of you now collectively on the same page, but she doesn't. She smashes the glass and swings at the cables, severing them. She hits over and over until the machine is broken beyond repair, ignoring all of you yelling at her to stop. She drops the pole once she’s finished, sliding down to the floor, starting to cry.
Clarke goes over to her to comfort her, pulling your mom into her arms as she cries into Clarke’s chest. You watch on, shaking your head, more angry than anything. You turn away from the group, and head upstairs again, straight for the office. Bellamy is already calling out to you when you arrive, the sound of loud music pulsing and beating in the background. You run and grab the radio, joking as you answer, “Did you get lost at a rock concert?”
He gives you a sarcastic laugh in return, “Ha ha, no. Jasper is having an end of the world celebration party. He dragged me to the forest for jobi nuts earlier, which is where I was when you called.”
“Did he hear everything?”
“No, he was asleep in the back until I stopped the vehicle. Then he just woke up and hopped out without a word.”
“Oh.” You pause, and then joke, “Are you drinking jobi nut tea now?”
“No, never again. Though, Bree did try to get me to come dance with her.”
“Huh. Interesting.”
You feel a flash of jealousy, which Bellamy seems to sense, because he laughs, “Put your knife away, spitfire. I told her there’s only one girl in the world that I want to dance with and she’s currently stuck on an island so I’d have to decline.”
“Good.”
“Don’t think you can distract me from your earlier dilemma with your jealousy though. What happened? Is Emori alive?”
“Emori’s alive because we never tested her.”
“So you spoke up and stopped them? I knew you’d do the right thing.”
“Not exactly.”
You hear suspicion creep into his voice. “What do you mean, ‘not exactly’?”
“I mean, I injected myself with the Nightblood before they could give it to Emori and Clarke used the other vial on herself so they couldn't use that one either. But then mom got upset and said she saw a vision of us dying and she refused to let us run the tests so she smashed the radiation chamber and now there’s nothing left to do now.”
You say the words in a rush, the sentences coming out like one long word, and Bellamy calls out, “Woah, woah, woah, back up. You did what?”
“Injected myself with Nightblood.” You can hear him take in a sharp breath, and you feel a lecture coming, so you cut him off, “But you told me to do the right thing and do the hard thing, so I did!”
“That is not what I meant, and you know it.”
You can hear the scolding tone in his voice, and it makes you roll your eyes a little, his protective nature a little too protective at times. Not that you’d tell him that, because even at times like this, you appreciate it. “I know, but it doesn't matter anyways. Mom smashed the chamber so there’s no way to test it. It looks like the radiation really is going to kill us all, and we just have to accept it.”
Bellamy holds the button on his radio down to answer, but at the same time, the other radio in the Chancellor’s office comes to life, Kane’s voice frantically calling through. “Arkadia, come in, Arkadia do you copy?”
Bellamy keeps the button held down so you can faintly hear him answer, “Kane? It’s Bellamy, is everything okay? Harper told me you went to Polis.”
“We found it, Bellamy. We found the Second Dawn bunker.”
The air leaves your body in a rush, as you stare at the radio in shock. A smile comes over your face, and you laugh in disbelief, repeating the cult’s motto, “From the ashes, we will rise.”
-
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Sake
THAT’S RIGHT!!!! TWO IN ONE DAY!!!! HOLY COW!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY @keichanz
And we alllllllll know our girl the smut queen of the kingdom so what did I do??
WROTE HER SHAMELESS SMUT
You have been warned!
Here is the link to AO3
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Kagome awoke to a pounding headache. It literally felt like it weighed as much as Hiraikostu. Kagome had only tried to pick it up once until she realized it weighed like a thousand pounds. Ok, that was an exaggeration. But not by too much.
It had been a little less than a month since she had returned to the feudal era to be with Inuyasha. Yesterday was her birthday (at least from what she calculated). She had been so excited that she demanded that everyone celebrate. Everyone in her context meant Sango, Miroku, Shippo, Kaede, Rin, Kirara, and of course, Inuyasha. Not the whole village.
But the headman insisted. She was training to become the new head priestess to take over for Kaede. Because she would become such an icon in the village, the headman proclaimed that this would also serve as a welcome back party as well as an introduction to her becoming a priestess in the village since originally she was ‘traveling’.
And did they celebrate. Kagome had never really partaken in drinking before. She had gone to highschool parties with her friends but it had never really piqued her interest to become so intoxicated she wouldn’t be able to remember what she had done or had her thoughts blurred and do something she’d regret the following morning.
Her friend Yuka had been on the wrong end of some alcohol; her boyfriend and her had gone all the way on accident. Something of which Yuka regretted because not only did she not remember her first time, but they had also gotten into such a huge fight about everything, they had broken up.
However every villager wanted to share the cup with her. They were so excited she had returned and wanted the blessings her presence offered. They were also thankful for a stubborn and gruff half-demon to be present for once. They claimed he had been so distant since her departure that her appearance was amazing.
The called her return a sign from the Gods that their village would prosper; the fact not only a strong and loyal half-demon but also a powerful priestess, both of whom battled and slayed the evil Naraku, were staying and living in the village could only mean they would have good fortune and tidings.
The villagers also coaxed Inuyasha into drinking with them--something of which she had never really seen him do aside from when they visited the poison master when Sango needed her weapon fixed.
However, she learned then as well, he had a very high tolerance. She… did not.
She was about six cups in when she noticed him lingering near her, unwilling to separate from her. Not that she complained. Oh no. She did not at all. In fact, her body craved for the touch and closeness of him.
For three years all she had was wild fantasies about her untamed hanyou. And the night she returned… well… that had been the night. They spent the whole night learning every dip, curve, swell, blemish, and nook their bodies possessed. He kissed, laved, nipped, nibbled, and bit every surface of her. She, of course, returned the favor. But his marks remained for days, the thoughts still made her shiver from joy and heat. Heat in her belly that demanded he do it all day everyday.
He also ended up marking her to her absolute happiness; something he had originally wanted to wait to do but after multiple couplings and when he finally took her on her hands and knees, he couldn’t stop himself. She assured him that was exactly what she had wanted though.
She felt something move beneath her that brought her out of her dazed and blissful thoughts of her mate. Wait--where was she?
Groaning she started to sit up, realizing immediately that was a very poor decision. Thankfully the body she was apparently laying on pulled her back down to lay on the hard chiseled chest she had fallen asleep on.
“Rest,” he moaned.
“Yash…?” She whispered hesitantly. What was he doing there?
“Nah, I’m my fucking brother. Duh, it’s me. You think I’d let anyone in your hut to see you like this?? To let anyone lay with you like this??”
“To be honest, I don’t remember too much from last night and your voice sounds nails on a chalkboard--”
“Nails on a what?!”
“Sorry, thing in my world Just shhhhh…” she whispered snuggling into his bare chest before she felt him tense.
“Kagome--”
“Please, just--lemme sleep like you just told me to??”
“Kagome--”
“Why are you acting so anxious? I was just making sure it was you.”
“Why though? Is there someone else that you’d wanna be this way with?’
“Don’t be ridiculous, of course not!” she yelled sitting up, immediately regretting the action. “Why are you being so insecure! I told you when I came back I wanted to be with you! You were the one who wanted to hide our relationship for the time being!! You were the one who didn't want to get caught in my hut at night!"
“Yea, well, that was more for your honor than mine.”
“Why?! Did I say something last night that indicated I didn’t want this??”
“Not in so many words…”
She finally took her bearings; they were in her hut, on her futon, she was still in her miko garbs--at least her haori. Her hakama were tossed by the door of her hut along with her panties. Inuyasha was sitting up leaning against the wall behind them gazing down at her worriedly. What did she do or say that got him so rattled up?
“What happened??”
“What do you remember exactly?”
“Drinking… I remember sharing a lot of sake with people for ‘good fortune’. They should have called it for ‘good death' instead. Ugh, can people die from being hungover?”
“Keh, Miroku and Sango drank a decent amount at their wedding but were fine the next morning. Must just be weak priestesses.”
“I’d take your words more seriously if you were wearing a shirt and weren’t holding me close to your God-like body.”
“Whatever.”
“Don’t pout it’s not becoming, Inuyasha.”
“Go on. What else do you recall?” He pressed on. He was certainly touchy that morning.
“Uhmmm… after the sixth villager I remember you were starting to stick close to me.”
“Yea, because you were getting friendly.”
“Friendly?”
“Yea, giggling and laughing at those stupid men in the village who were trying to hit on you and shit.”
“Ohhhh, well what they said must’ve made me laugh because of the alcohol and knowing they’d never get their shot with me.”
“And…?”
“Shesh, did I not blow you last night or something? You’re extra cranky.”
“And now you think I’d take advantage of a woman like that?!”
“Jeez what is your problem!?! I told you I love you, stupid. You. As in you, Inuyasha. Y-O-U! I have never thought about another man before or anything else. We have obviously been intimate since I got back and I had no thoughts on stopping anytime soon! Why are you being so jealous and upset right now?! I was marked as yours!”
“Because when I started growling you sat me into the fucking ground and told me to behave like a fucking ‘good boy’.”
Kagome couldn’t help but laugh. Hard. It shouldn’t have been that funny. Honestly, if she was Inuyasha, she would likely be upset too but she could honestly picture the whole scene of her being ditzy, staggering around, and then him being too possessive and her reacting like she used to in the old days.
His snarl and sudden movements beneath her jostled her. Ugh, her stomach hurt. Did she mention her head hurt? He made to grab his kosode when she stopped him.
“Wait, wait, I’m sorry. I was just picturing it. I’m sorry. You know I don’t think of you like that, Inuyasha. I want to be your mate and wife. I’ve let you take me from behind, let you lick, nip, and bite all over my body. You know I don’t have an issue with you being half inuyoukai. Hell, I even rub your ears after we’ve had sex. Did they say something??”
“More or less,” he said, averting his eyes.
“Inuyasha. You know what other people say or think doesn’t matter. What matters is that I love you. Claws, dog ears, silver silky smooth hair, amber eyes that I could get lost in for days…” Oh Gods… she had stood and pulled his face to hers and true to her words; she was lost. Her core begged for him already. Demanded his attention. The mark on her back called to him.
Obviously they hadn’t had sex or anything last night; he was offended at the idea of taking her when she was that far gone. Again, something likely a villager man said. But she couldn’t imagine she actually flirted with any of them. She obviously made it home with him. Clearly tried to do something with him as well to which he stopped.
“Fuck. Kagome--I’m trying to be mad at you,” he groaned pressing his nose into her shoulder. “Stop smellin’ like that.”
“Can’t help it,” she breathed as her finger began to dance along the sides of his body until they reached the obi of his hakama and slightly tugged testing to see how mad he actually was...
When his hands didn’t stop hers, she released the tie and fell to her knees and engulfed his already hardened length into her mouth.
His claws stroked her scalp and threaded through her hair. Gods, his moans, his groans, his growls made her so wet. But this was about calming the inner beat within him. Or, was it about counseling the human heart that felt so many doubts? Who really knew. Either way, this was about proving her love to him. Ensuring he knew who she really wanted in her life, in her body--and currently in her mouth.
She used her tongue to coat his cock with her spit to make sure it was slick and ready to be taken fast and hard. She learned quickly she lacked a gag reflex. Thank every Kami out there because Inuyasha was far from average. In regards to everything. Bobbing her head, she ate his sounds like they were her fuel; technically they were since they were the things that made her grind her own thighs together for some relief as the flame in her own sex was growing larger and larger, demanding for someone to stroke it. But this wasn’t about finding her own pleasure. No. Not yet.
That morning it was all about him. She felt his cock twitch in her mouth and so she did what she knew how to do best since they started learning about their likes and dislikes; she took her hand and fondled his balls, her other wrapped around his body and scratched his back as she moaned around the cock that was deeply buried in her mouth.
“Fuck, Kagome--I’m gonna--” he whimpered needily and desperately. His little ears were pressed so hard to his head and his eyes were squeezed shut.
She hummed her response knowing that he loved the sensations. He loved that she would drink him up without hesitation. But why wouldn't she? She’d do anything for him. If that meant swallowing his cum, she would. It wasn’t bad either. She liked how he tasted. As dumb as it sounded, it tasted like sex. And it was hot. Especially when he would throw her down after and lavish her body in return.
He came after another bob of her head while her teeth lightly grazed him on the way back down. She remained there, using only her tongue and hand to continue to lave and rub him to keep his erection going. Part of him being far from average; he could go multiple rounds without rest.
“Good?” she finally asked as she withdrew her mouth, smirking up at him.
“Dirty trick, wench,” he growled as he hoisted her up by her shoulders.
“Mmmmm, that’s why Sango and Miroku weren’t hung over. Drinking your partner helps hangovers,” she teased, lying through her teeth. Or maybe it was true. She didn’t really know for sure. But it could be slightly true?
“Is that right?” He caught the joke and wanted to play in return.
“Probably why I wanted you last night,” she waved her arm towards her pants.
“Keh… You definitely wanted it.”
“Why didn’t you--”
“We’ll talk after I take care of you,” he smirked, pinning her to the wall and dropping to his own knees. He hoisted up her leg over his shoulder and dug in. Literally.
She had heard other girls complain about when guys would go down on them. How it wasn’t… good? How they had no idea what they were doing. Their tongues never hit the correct spot, but that was so far from the truth for Inuyasha. In fact, he knew exactly where his tongue should be but the jerk loved teasing her. Making sure he swept every part of her folds. Licking up and down her core like he was taking a leisurely stroll down memory lane as her breath hitched, her legs trembled, her coil tightened in her belly.
While she got off on the vulnerability he showed her and only her, he got off from her pleading to him to continue, demanding he finish exactly what he started. Asshole. He loved to ravish her. Make her keen, cry, wail. He also loved that he made her swear. Something so unlike her--but the way he would bring her to the brink of finishing to only backtrack made her go mad with want.
The number of orgasms he’d given her definitely outweighed all of ones she gave to him. He never once left her hanging--usually he made sure she had released twice before even thinking of letting himself go. But, that also meant he wound her so tightly once she did come, she would continually go on and on and on and onnnnnnnn.
He would purposely stimulate her to the point she would scream and wantonly cry out for him. He loved to hear his name on her tongue. Whatta jerk. A hot, God-like jerk.
His tongue circled and laved throughout her folds while his fingers poked and prodded her opening. Shit. She was already burning and he just started. Her head hit the wall of the hut as she desperately tried to control her treacherous hips that moved in time of his crafty tongue.
“Gods--”
“Ah ah--what is my name, Ka-Go-Me?” He reprimanded, nipping her bud. Fuck.
“Inuyashaaaaa,” she cried out begging for him to end her misery of where she stayed in limbo of burning in a freaking inferno versus dipping into the cool pond for a bath.
She was sweating, aching, burning, damnit--she could feel her walls twitching, begging for him to actually enter her. She wanted that cock too. Oh, did she want it inside of her.
For as large as it was--for as big and tall as he was in comparison to how short and small she was, he fit perfectly. They were made for each other.
That was something he proclaimed the first night she had returned: that he was born for her and she was born for him. The fact he felt that strongly towards her, even though she hadn’t had any doubts about returning, put her racing mind to rest.
During their first night, she had grown self-conscious slightly. She began to wonder if they were moving too fast, what if she was still just an image of what Kikyo once was--but those words put anything else she had thought in regards to her being a replacement to bed.
She was born for him. Not Kikyo. While he had loved Kikyo, there had been no trust between them; that was all that was between her and Inuyasha. Between the fights with Monumaru, Tsubaki, Naraku--they had each other.
“Pleaseeeeee,” she wailed, gripping his silver hair between her fingers, bringing his head to where she needed him most. His lips wrapped around her clit, sucking hard while his fingers teased her fluttering walls.
“Only because you asked nicely,” the jerk smirked before finishing her off. The. Jerk. Smirked. God, she hated him sometimes. It just wasn’t fair.
When his mouth wrapped around her nub, and his fingers danced their sinful dance right at the opening to her pussy, she screamed. Unabashedly. She slightly hoped the villagers heard her call out his name so that there would be no more of this nonsense of who she should marry. It was always Inuyasha. It would always be Inuyasha.
After he had sufficiently licked up her overflowing juices, he removed her leg from his shoulder and she sank down hard. Her legs were pure jello.
He held her close to his chest and she relished the purr (rumble, it was a rumble he told her) he admonished to her.
“Gods,” she exhaled, nuzzling into his chest.
“You keep saying that,” he chuckled.
“Because it was that good.”
“Ready for another round?”
“God please, but this time--” she didn’t have time to finish as he ripped off her haori tossing it with her hakama-- wait why didn’t she have a bra on?!-and flipped her around to place her on her hands and knees which made her laugh with mirth.
“Yessss,” she sighed as he entered her dripping wet sex hard and fast.
He wound his hand in her hair, not too tight though to hurt her, but more of leverage for him, but kept a hand on her hips and he thrusted repeatedly into her at his demonic inhuman speed. Oh, she was already on her way to orgasm number two of the day.
“Yassssh,” she whimpered.
“Come for me, Kagome,” he ordered harshly through his own gritted teeth. She realized he was still wound up pretty tightly from whatever happened last night. Even taking her in this position was some type of instinctual response to needing to prove something to her--or to himself.
But who was she not to listen to what he said? Well that was a lie; they used to fight about that all time but in the privacy of her--their own hut, he was in charge most nights. And she didn’t give a shit.
She felt herself clamp down uncontrollably around him as she called out her pleasure to him.
“Kagome,” he said softly, letting her ride out her release on his still deeply inserted cock. He nuzzled her neck and kissed from behind her ear to her shoulder until he bit on the mark he gave her after their first time on the forest floor just above her shoulder blade.
He had said it would be well hidden if it was there--it also was the spot he said called to him the most. Something about inuyoukai traditions.
She didn’t argue. It just meant she was his. Permanently. Well, at least in front of their friends. The villagers were still another story.
He pulled her hair a little until she was perched on his lap, her ass slamming down on his sweat glistened thighs, her full breasts bouncing up and down with every downward motion she took to take him further inside of him, and every upward thrust he returned for her to swallow him fully.
“Inuyasha,” she bellowed as his hand slid from her hip to her clit and began to rub circles. Bastard. She was wound so tight she thought she might die. There’d never be any form of relief as he continued to slam into her and vice versa.
His other hand released her hair to grab her breast to flick, pinch, and twist at her nipples. Without that hand, she would have likely ended up face first into the ground. She felt like she was having an out of body experience. She was too excited, too aflamed, too stimulated. Damn him.
“I’m close ‘Gome,” he finally gritted against her shoulder. She shuddered and keened as she rotated her hips seductively trying to coax him to let go. Show her his vulnerability. Release into her. Give her all of him without reservation or hesitation.
“Come on Inu--ahhhh-yasha,” she said brokenly, bringing one hand behind her to grasp his head to keep him by her mark, and the other to replace his hand that was teasing her nub.
He took the cue and replaced his hand on her hip as she took over stimulating herself, still holding him in place by some force or grace of God so that he could watch what he had turned her into.
Some sex-crazed woman. Correction, a woman who craved sex from him and only him. No man would ever be able to take his place. None. It could only ever be him.
She finally felt him tense and groan out a long exaggerated growl as she wailed her next release as he howled his. It was like they both had levitated off the ground as his mouth took hold of her shoulder and bit down hard.
Stars. She literally saw stars.
Coming down from their high, she turned her head to gaze upon his satisfied tired face. She smiled an exhausted smile to him and kissed him passionately.
They exchanged caresses and heated but calming kisses until he finally lifted her from his lap fully.
“Calm now?”
“Yea… sorry. My inner demon has been going crazy since last night.”
“So, what happened after I sat you in front of the village men?”
“After they started joking around like jackasses, you dumped sake on them and yelled at them for insulting your mate.”
“Oh Gods… I’m so sorry.”
“Ah, nah, it gets better.”
“I’m sure that’s a lie.”
“Ohhhhhh… but it does. Then after you said it, you realized what you said and made it a point to try and disprove it for the rest of the night by talking to other men. Accepting their efforts and invitations to court you. I was literally losing my shit. But unfortunately, I see now, that it is actually not your fault. It’s mine.”
“Come again?” He was admitting he was wrong? Him? Inuyasha? Wrong???
She actually felt his forehead, “Are you sick??”
“Cut the shit, Kagome. It is. I made it so… impossible for you to even express that we were together. And then when you finally told everyone, the way they reacted…”
“Was it bad??”
“No. They actually seemed unsurprised. Almost happy until you started your shit trying to apologize to me and acting like it wasn’t true. It was unrequited or whatever. Then they only seemed to get a lot of jollies out of it not because you were actually back on the market, but because they could tease me.”
“Please tell me I didn’t do anything else that was that bad or stupid.”
“Nah; After the fourth guy to approach you I finally flung you over my back and brought you back home. One dude was brazen enough to try and come in here at night. He wasn’t expecting to find me.”
“Oh Gods…”
“Yea… remind me to kick Sasuke’s ass later. Jackass.”
“Did he… did he see anything?”
“Aside from you on top of me, begging to have sex? No,��� he said nonchalantly. “But don’t worry, I’m gonna gouge his eyes out later. Or burn them. Whatever way I think will make him forget he saw you like that, I’ll likely do.”
“Inuyasha--as long as he didn’t see us actually do anything it’s fine.”
“Making out with you is fine??”
“Oh yea, that’s nothing,” she soothed.
“Kagome--”
“I know things are different here--but trust me when I say that’s not as bad as I thought it would be.”
“Guess you’re right, he coulda walked in while you were grinding your fucking lucious hips and ass against me.”
She blushed scarlet, “I did what?!?!”
“Oh yea, I nearly came in my pants. Especially when you did,” he smirked down at her.
“Oh Gods… is that why I wasn’t wearing pants or underwear??”
“Yea--you were all upset they were wet; you were uncomfortable and didn’t give a fuck since it was just me. I believe you said and I quote, ‘Nothing you haven’t seen or touched before’.”
“Ughhhhh. I’m so sorry, Inuyasha. I didn’t mean--”
“Hey. It’s fine. As long as we are--clear from now on about where we are.”
“Uhm… so where are we then? Just so I know.”
“Considering you went and blabbed to the whole village and I’m sure Sasuke told everyone who didn’t believe it--pretty sure our cover is blown.”
“O-oh,” she said disparagingly.
“What? Is that… not what you wanted?” he asked with hurt laced in his voice. His eyes dropped and his eyes filled with sadness.
“Inuyasha--I told you from the beginning it’s you. It’s always been you. I want you as a mate--as a husband. You wanted to hold off but I made you mate with me--”
“You made me, huh?”
“Moving alongggggg,” she flushed at the reminder that they were both pretty equally hungry for their bodies a couple weeks ago. “I told you I was ready to take the next steps when you were ready to.”
“So… if I were to take a stroll to the headman’s today and tell him I want to be wed to you--you’d honestly be okay with that? Married to a half-breed?”
“Of course. You’re my half-demon. You’re my Inuyasha. No sake needed.”
He smiled down at her and dipped his head to kiss her again. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him close. While the sake clearly messed up their plans, she was thankful she had partaken in the forbidden nectar. Because without it, Inuyasha wouldn’t have been able to glimpse the acceptance the villagers had for their would-be union.
Later that afternoon after breakfast, they walked to headman’s together and asked to be wed with his permission. He happily gave them their blessing with one word, “Finally.”
#inuyasha fanfiction#inuyasha post canon#inuyasha x kagome#inukag#inu x kag#smut smut smut#shameless smut#consenual sex
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Soft (Sentimental) Saturday
@5sosxjieun : You, genuinely, are one of the kindest souls I’ve ever met. Every post you make reminding other they’re loved and that they’re valued is filled with care. Every word you put out into the world is touched with love and presented with enthusiasm I wish I still had. Although you’re on break right now, know that I cherish you.
Some words from Minho: I couldn’t even imagine a world without you in it anymore. Without your voice, screaming or whispering. Without your touch, sweet and gentle. I love you more than the universe loves its creations made of stardust and gold.
@moonlightchn : We stan a creative soul. I am so excited for more of your lore, it is so unbelievably fun to read and learn about. I love how distinct you make your Chan’s, how each of them has their own personality. I love that you’re so determined to have a good time with everyone else, never wavering. I love the way you write. I love the kind of power your words hold
A few words from Felix: I look up to you, as someone I want to reach someday. Your dedication and tireless work doesn’t go unnoticed. Thank you for everything you do for me!
@gamer-yeji : Hello precious adorable one! I’m never going to forget you as one of my first interactions. Your spirit to always look out for your fellow community member is something I admire and adore. I know it’s been a bit rough for you recently but you’re incredible for pulling through and finding your own balance again. Thank you for always checking in.
A few words from Chan: Yeji, you are always so cheerful and you bring a lot of light and joy to my day. I know we keep putting off movie night (because adminnie is bad at proper schedules) but I’m excited for a fun, cozy night together.
@singledad-minho : I. Love. Your. Concept. Can’t get over it. Every post you make is so adorable and even though I don’t personally want kids (right now), I have every urge to want to baby Minjun. You’ve got the doting father down to a tee and it’s such a delight reading what you write. I know I haven’t really interacted with you because I’m shy and bad at things but I do really like seeing you on my dash.
A few words from Jisung: Everything you guys do is so cute! Hey, do you think I could meet Minjun someday? When you’re both comfortable with it! I think we’d get along, maybe as animal buddies.
@vampiremomo : Okay I know it’s been like, 3 days since I’ve gotten to talk to you but you’re amazing? You have a kind of daring energy I love seeing. And you’re so supportive! I see you liking and rbing things from me. Someday I’ll return the favor when I get my shit together. Your concept is so powerful too I’m excited to see more of it!
A few words from Minho: Damn princess, well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes. Having fun with our little game yet?
@modelyonghee : So cute!! It makes me smile when I see notifs of you popping up. I’m looking forward to talking with you more.
A few words from Jisung: Ah Yongyong! Come find me anytime, I’m always here for you! And yes you’re the best at cuddles and you have magic hands hehe
@freerentskz : Don’t think I don’t see you liking all my posts. I’m having a ton of fun with our RP! There’s a really dynamic quality to it where it’s constantly moving the plot forward but also creating really delicate relationships. I’m looking forward to what happens when they leave the church heh
A few words from Minho: I trust you enough not to stab me in the back at least. You’ve gotta a strong spirit, I know we’ll make it work.
@starsirah-oc : Thank you for living in and loving my story. And for always interacting with me! I treasure the talks we have. Sirah’s so fun and your writing is absolutely fantastic! Lowkey feel a little bad about not giving you lengthy replies hajdhd. I’m looking forward to building a world with you!
A few words from Chan: I’ll be waiting
@yourdahyxn : You have a great sense of aesthetic?? Your posts are the prettiest thing and I love seeing them. Plus you put so much fun on my dash and in my dm’s, which is really really appreciate!! I also want to get to know you better someday
A few words from Felix: I’m having lots of fun with you noona! Our pillow fort’s gonna be the best ever!
Honorable mentions:
@yourchaechae : I know it’s been rough for you lately but I’m really proud of you for properly owning up to and apologizing for your mistakes. All your posts are so lighthearted and a greatly needed break from the kind of gloom the community sometimes has. Chae is adorable! I love how you portray her as someone so bubbly and warm. Here’s to having a better future.
@sxltyshima : Eyyy what a journey we’re making! What’s hiding in the shadows mmmm???? I’m so glad you chose to RP with me and I’m super excited for your fic to come out. Let’s have a good time together!
@mafia-chaeyoung : dude you’re so funny ahdkshsj seeing you on my dash never fails to make me laugh
@empress-jiaqi : I know I don’t interact with you much if at all ahdkshdj but you seem like a lot of fun and I’d like to get to know you better. Still not over the fact that you thought I was pre-debut Chaeyoung aaaaahhhhh
@cupcake-yeri : we just started talking but I think you’re a lot of fun! Your concept is really sweet too (pun intended). You can always reach out to me for weirdly extra waxing about things
@camgirl-jihyeon : also haven’t spoken much but you made me laugh really hard at work yesterday and I almost squeaked. Hope I can talk to you more
@shinhaneul-oc : idk what to say about you other than you seem really cool and considerate and I wanna get to know you
My various anons: (Slaps inbox) this bad boy can hold so many fun and interesting questions and interactions. I love and cherish every ask you send.
Thank you for a week and a day of fun! I know I joined at a weird time with reforming the community and all but I’ve really enjoyed my time here. I’m a little shy so I’m working on knowing more people but I really am so happy with everyone I know now. I hope we can keep having really fun and memorable times together 💖
#admin talk#speaking: minho#speaking: chan#speaking: jisung#speaking: felix#soft saturday#sentimental saturday
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So FlyingPurplePenguin over on AO3 wanted to see the RedFinch proposal from this fic and I was only too happy to write it!! Alcohol and cussing are both mentioned!
December 18, 2019
The door slammed behind him as he struggled with the many grocery bags. The familiar thumping of Rex’s tail greeted him as he walked over to the kitchen table. After putting the bags on the round table, he walked back to the door to kick off his shoes and dropped his wallet and keys in the basket on the entryway table. Walking into the office, he unlatched the kennel door, leering a very excited black Labrador out of his cage. He laughed as Rex jumped and yipped excitedly.
“Come on boy, let’s go outside.” Opening the slider, he watched Rex bound outside, sniffing the ground looking for the perfect spot.
He quickly put the cold stuff in the fridge before going back to the sliding glass door. Standing in the doorway, Albert ran a hand through his hair, groaning as he reflected on the day. Of course, Race would find himself in the emergency room that morning and tailspin the day.
Slapping his thigh, he whistled for Rex, watching him run in the door.
Looking at the clock, he saw that it was 3:00 and he had plenty of time before Finch arrived home at 6. He shot him a text saying he had dinner covered and he’d see him when he got home.
Making his way into the bedroom, he heard Rex’s collar jingle as he followed. Laying on his bed, Rex gave him a look as Albert headed for the shower. He took a quick shower, letting his mind wander on the momentum weight of the night ahead.
He and Finch had been together for the last 3 years, meeting after a freak accident that included coffee, Race, and blood. As Albert was stitching up Finch, Finch asked him for his number and the rest, as they say, was history.
Throwing on a tshirt and a pair of sweatpants, he headed back to the kitchen to sort through the bags. He had planned on flank steak, potatoes, and green beans for dinner that night, along with a pie and ice cream for dessert. A six pack of Finch’s favorite beer was already becoming cold in the fridge.
Throwing together a marinade of olive oil, soy sauce, vinegar, lemon, and a bunch of spices, he threw the flank steak in the bag before putting it back into the fridge. He started cutting up potatoes and threw them in a pot of water so they were ready to start boiling in an hour. Once they were set, he snapped the green beans. Hearing the jingle of a collar, he looked up and saw Rex padding towards him hoping for some of the scraps. Throwing a green bean in his direction, Albert laughed when Rex jumped to snatch it out of the air.
Hearing his phone ring, he grabbed it. “Hello?”
“So you’re cooking dinner, huh?” Came Finch’s cheerful voice. “Did I miss something?”
Albert laughed. “No. Just felt like cooking. You’ll be home at 6, right?”
“More like 5:30. We're just wrapping things up and I’ve got a few emails to answer but I’ll be home around 5:30. Whatcha making?”
Albert nodded, realizing he couldn’t see him. “It’s a surprise but one of your favorites.”
“Do you need me to pick anything up? Jack mentioned it was a rough day for you.” He picked up the concern in his voice.
Sighing, Al finished snapping the beans, leaving them in the colander to drip dry. “No, I think I have everything. Race is an idiot and landed himself in the Emergency Room. He’s fine but it was a heart in your throat moment.”
“And how are you?”
Leaning against the counter, Albert leaned down and gave Rex a few pats. “I’m alright. Rex is keeping an eye on me.”
“Good. I love you. I'm excited to see what you’re cooking.” Finch laughed. “I’ll see you in a bit. Don’t burn down the house.”
“Shut up - that was one time and I’ve redeemed myself several times. Love you too, Finch. See you when you get here.” Hanging up the phone, he couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. Finch had always had that effect on him and honestly, he hoped it never went away.
Finishing up in the kitchen, he grabbed a bottle of water before going to sit on the couch. Rex jumped up and sat on him, panting happily. “What do you think Rex? Hmmmm … will dad be surprised?”
Leaning over, Rex licked his cheek before laying down. “I hope so bud. I hope he likes everything.”
5:30pm
The door shut as Rex started barking and made a run for the back door. Finch laughed, landing on his knees to greet the 65 pound dog. Albert shook his head at the two, draining the potatoes. Putting them on the counter, he felt Finch behind him. “Hello love.”
“Hi yourself. It smells good in here.” Finch kissed him before looking at him. “Is this the dress code?”
Albert looked at his sweats and shirt before groaning. “I meant to change before you got home …”
“Don’t. Sweats, tshirt, and steak sounds like a perfect evening.” Finch grinned, giving him another kiss.
Albert handed him an open beer. “Go get changed and unwind for a bit. Dinner will be ready in 15.”
Watching him walk out of the kitchen, Albert shook his head before grabbing the steak out of the fridge. The green beans were almost done and the potatoes needed to be mashed. Taking a deep breath, he took a sip of his beer before finishing the task at hand.
“What can I do?” Finch asked, hovering near the stove, looking at the variety of pots and pans around the kitchen.
Biting his lip, Albert motioned to the potatoes. “Wanna mash them?”
The two were quiet as they worked on their tasks. Albert seared the flank steak, letting a spicy aroma fill the kitchen, making Finch’s stomach growl. “That smells really good.”
“Good. That’s what I was aiming for.” Albert said as he flipped the steak.
He grabbed two plates, silverware and napkins before putting them on the counter. Draining the green beans, he added those to the plates as Finch dished up mashed potatoes.
Letting the steak rest for a few minutes, he pulled Finch into his arms. “I love you.”
“Love you too Al. You sure you’re alright after today? Jack seemed pretty shaken up.” Finch searched his face for any sign of concern.
Sighing, he let his head hit Finch’s shoulder. “I won’t lie, it was scary but I’m just glad he’s alright. Kat released him just before I clocked out. They’re were going home and having a low-key night.”
“I’m sorry that it was scary and it happened on your shift but at least it’s nothing serious.” Finch said, giving him a look. “Hey, he had a great nurse looking out for him.”
Giving him a smile, Albert stepped out of his embrace before cutting up the steak, putting some on each of their plates before walking over to the table
“Let’s eat.”
They held hands as they are, Finch entertaining him with stories from his job as a project manager at a major construction company. “You can cook the steak anytime you want. This is amazing.”
“A little of this and a little of that.” Al shrugged, grinning. “I just googled a recipe.”
Albert tried to stop his fidgeting but Finch picked up on it. “Alright, what’s up?”
“What do you mean?” Albert grabbed their plates, dumping them in the sink.
Pushing away from the table, Finch gave him a look, walking over to the sink. “You’re fidgety, so you’re either nervous about something or you have to tell me something. So which is it?”
“All will be revealed shortly. But you might want to go get some shoes and a hoodie or a coat on. We’re going outside.” Albert grinned, leaning over and kissing him. “The quicker you go get some warmer things on, the sooner you’ll know.”
Finch shook his head but did what Albert asked, walking towards the bedroom. He grabbed his coat and shoes before flipping the light on the patio. Rex sat at his feet. “Come on boy.”
Walking out onto the patio, he looked around the backyard they had spent so much time on. A big flower bed was on the right while a vegetable bed was to the left. They had spent the spring and summer prepping both beds and they had gotten quite a bit out of both.
He looked up at the old style lights he strung up. It had been a project on the to-do list for a while and he had strung them that afternoon.
“What are we doing -” Finch stopped short when he saw the lights and Albert on bended knee, a black box in his hand.
“Patrick Finch Cortes, I have loved you for the last three years and I will love you for the rest of my days. You are my morning light and the evening stars. Over the last three years, you’ve always been the first person I want to tell anything to and the last thing I see when my head hits the pillow. Will you do me the absolute honor and marry me?” Albert had tears in his eyes and couldn’t really see Finch’s reaction until he was tugged to his feet.
Swiping at his eyes, he saw Finch had tears in his eyes as well. “Well, what do you say? A big fancy party with all of our friends and family and at the end of it, I can call you my husband?”
“Yes, Albert, I will marry you.” Finch laughed, pulling him to his chest before kissing him. “I love you, you idiot.”
Albert laughed, standing on his tiptoes kissing him. “Me? An idiot, in what way?”
“Because I had this.” Finch held up an identical black box like the one that was in Albert’s hand. “I was going to ask you this weekend, but of course you beat me to the punch.”
Cracking open his box, Albert took out the silver ring, holding up for Finch. “Can I put this on you?”
Finch nodded, taking a shaky breath as Albert pushed the ring onto his left ring finger. “I love you Finch Cortes. Yesterday, today and even more tomorrow.”
Taking out his own ring, Finch slipped it on Albert’s hand. “I love you too Albert. Yesterday, today and even more tomorrow. You’ve made me the happiest man alive.”
“I don’t think that’s possible because I’m over the moon happy right now and I don’t think anything can bring me down.” Albert threw his arms around Finch’s shoulders, standing on his tiptoes for a kiss. “Who all knew you were going to propose?”
Finch grinned. “Jack and Race. Why?”
“Because Spot and Kat knew I was going to propose.” Albert laughed. “It’s hilarious that the four of them knew but didn’t tell their significant other. Shall we tell them?”
“Can we go inside first? It’s fucking cold out here.” Finch gave him a look, slapping his thigh for Rex’s attention.
Walking inside, Rex took his spot in front of their Christmas tree with Albert and Finch soon joining him. They took a selfie with their rings on full display before sending it off to the group with a simple message “he said yes!”
“How about we curl up and watch a movie?” Finch asked, pulling Albert up from the floor.
He groaned, looking at his fiancé. “I hate to be that person but I’m about to collapse. I held in all of my energy for asking you but I feel like I’m going to pass out. Can we take this to our bed?”
Picking him up bridal style, Finch walked them to the bedroom before throwing Al on the bed and collapsing beside him, giving him a kiss. “I love you a whole lot, Albert DaSilva.”
“Not as much as I love you, Finch Cortes.”
This was really fun to write as I haven’t explore RedFinch much! Let me know what you think!
#newsies#newsies fan fiction#writing#drabble requests#newsies drabble#ask#drabble prompt#redfinch newsies#albert dasilva#finch newsies
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Honor Bound 2 - 46
This is a series. Start here, continued from here.
This is a sequel to Honor Bound.
AO3
Cw: mention of parent killing an adult child, mention of parental abuse, death mention, noncon mention (that didn’t happen)
Isaac scrubbed his face with his hands as he looked down at the map of the eastern sector of New Trisland. He felt like he was going cross-eyed from the hours he’d spent poring over the hundreds of miles of road between them and Colleen’s headquarters. The seat of the Stormbeck power. They all knew there was no other target for them. While Colleen lived, she posed a threat to the family.
“I think if we take 87 south, we could bypass the checkpoints in Brookdale and make it to her house in… two days? If we hurry?” Vera’s brow furrowed as she followed the highway with her finger. “It would take us through Porter, but—”
“Daniel’s people say the Wilsons have moved people into Porter,” Gray said quietly, pinching the bridge of their nose. “There’s no way we could get through there undetected.”
“Maybe we forget about being undetected,” Vera said, a hint of irritation in her voice. “Who gives a shit if we take down a few syndicate members? We’ve never been shy about doing that.”
Gray drew in a deep breath. “The only advantage we have, the only advantage, is the element of surprise. We have to assume she knows we’ve reached the north, if she tracked us all the way to the turnpike. Where else would we be headed?”
“Kind of weird she hasn’t sent her army up to grab us,” Isaac interjected. “It’s not like she doesn’t have the people.”
Vera bit her nail as her eyes moved over the map. “She might as well assume we have Gavin, too, if we’re assuming she thinks we’ve made it north.” Vera shrugged. “She might be unwilling to get us if she thinks we’ll kill Stormbeck Junior. She wouldn’t want us to kill him.”
“She would.”
Vera, Gray, and Isaac jumped and looked to the doorway of the kitchen, where Gavin leaned against the wall. He met Isaac’s gaze for a split second before looking down again, blushing. Isaac’s cheeks blazed.
“She, um.” Gavin took a step closer to the map. “She wants you to kill me. She has this whole time. That’s why I left.”
“Gavin…” Vera’s voice was heavy with skepticism. “I don’t—”
“She wants you to kill me,” Gavin said with finality.
Vera bit her lip. “Gavin…”
“I want you to think about who I am for a second,” Gavin said, meeting Vera’s eyes. “Remember who I… who I was. What I did. Some of that I got from my father.”
Vera winced.
Gavin drew in a slow breath. “I got some of that from my mother, too. My mother wants me dead for getting my father killed. My father always wanted what she wanted. They understood each other. But me…” Gavin laughed bitterly. “I put a toe out of line. I wasn’t her son anymore.” Gavin’s mouth twisted as his eyes filled with tears. Isaac’s heart clenched. “I didn’t want torture anymore. I didn’t want that life. And with my mother there is no life but the life she lives. Okay?”
Vera nodded.
“Tell us more, Gavin,” Gray said softly. Isaac met their eyes. Probing for information about Colleen, yes. But Gray also cared. Gray wanted Gavin to heal, too.
Gavin walked to the kitchen island that was completely covered by the map. He wrapped his arms around his chest. “Um…” He sniffed. “My mom thinks… She thinks we own the world because we… I don’t know, we deserve it or something. All the syndicates, but especially ours. It’s like…” He shrugged. “It’s like… she thinks it’s our divine right. Like we were born to rule, or something. I was part of a, um…” He flushed and ducked his head. “A bloodline, fit to rule. My mom said a lot of crazy shit like that growing up. And then… I turned my back on it. I decided I didn’t want that. And that was, um… unacceptable. I’m either with her, or the enemy. Now I guess that means I’m the enemy.” Gavin ducked his head, looking like he was finished.
“But you found a new side,” Vera said softly. She gasped and snapped her mouth closed.
Gavin looked down shyly. “Um. Y-yeah. I did.” He raised his eyes to Isaac, his mouth curving up momentarily into a smile.
Isaac’s stomach dropped and he cleared his throat. “Gavin… how willing would to be to help us with our plans?”
Gavin’s gaze moved slowly over the map. “I don’t know the most recent movements. But I—”
“We’ll tell you,” Gray interrupted.
Gavin nodded, biting his lip, not taking his eyes off the map. He leaned in and put his finger on a small town a half-day south of Crayton. “Here. Bartram Springs. It’s a city w-we—” He swallowed and raised his eyes apologetically to Gray. “Is it okay if I, um… if I talk about Stormbeck holdings like they’re… like they’re not mine? I don’t…” Again, his eyes flicked to Isaac, and back to Gray. He wet his lips. “I don’t want to talk like my family is still the, um… the Stormbecks.”
“Who else would your family be?” Vera asked, a hard edge to her voice, but her gaze was soft as she looked across the table at Gavin.
Gavin blanched and fell a step back from the group. “Oh, fuck,” he breathed.
Vera’s face darkened and she leaned over the island, the fear Isaac could see in her tense shoulders and fists falling behind a wall of rage. Isaac glanced quickly between them, as Vera’s lip curled into a predatory snarl, and Gavin fell back another step, shaking, eyes wide, looking for all the world like prey.
“Whoa, Vera… hang on a sec,” Isaac said quietly, holding his hands out to her like he would stop her, taking a step back to give himself space to lunge between them if need be. “Vera, wait—”
“What is he so afraid that he just gave away?” she hissed.
“Vera, please,” Gavin whimpered.
“I know for a fact that it’s not whatever you’re thinking of,” Isaac said, his voice taking on a harder edge. “Vera, I need you to just listen for five seconds before you decide to kill him, okay?”
Vera’s jaw clenched, but she tore her gaze away from Gavin to look at Isaac. “Explain to me why he looks like that.”
“I knew you’d kill me,” Gavin whispered.
“Gavin, shut up,” Isaac ground out between his teeth.
“Isaac, what’s going on?” Gray said gently. They reached a hand out to Vera and paused a few inches from her skin, like it was going to burn them.
“Um…” Isaac looked at Gavin where he stood cowering in the middle of the kitchen, eyes fixed on Vera like he was expecting her to leap across the island and kill him right there. “He…” Isaac swallowed hard. Might as well just get it out and worry about the shitstorm later. “Gavin wants to be part of our family.”
Vera froze, her eyes darting between Gavin and Isaac. “What?” she breathed.
“I’m sorry,” Gavin whimpered.
“For fuck’s sake, Gavin, shut up,” Isaac snapped.
“No, let him talk,” Vera said, glaring at Gavin. “I wanna know why he reacted to spilling that like he’d just accidently mentioned he was planning on selling us out when we get south.”
“No,” Gavin gasped. “I wouldn’t—” He trembled and stumbled another step back. His eyes darted between Isaac and Vera. “I’m s-sorry, Vera, I…” He flushed red and collapsed into himself, staring miserably at the floor. “I didn’t want to tell you b-because… I…” He swallowed hard. “I’m sorry.”
“Gavin,” Gray said gently. “When Isaac says you want to be part of our family, what does that mean?”
“Um…” Gavin lifted his gaze to Gray, looking like a man clinging to a life raft in the middle of the ocean. “I, um…” He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath. “I, uh, didn’t really know until… uh… yesterday… when the men…” Gavin shuddered and opened his eyes. “But spending all this time with you, you’ve all been so k-kind, and good, and, um…” He raised his gaze to Gray. “I want in. I want that. I want the, uh… the love you have. I’ve never seen that before. I didn’t know people could… um… love each other like that. How you protect each other…” Tears stood in Gavin’s eyes. “I want to feel that, too. There’s something in me that’s missing, and…” He looked to Vera. “I w-want something like what you have with Tori, or…” He gestured to Isaac and Vera both. “…what you have with each other, or, Isaac, what you have with Sam…” He turned to Gray, tears running down his cheeks. “I want what you’ve given me. I want to be, um, safe. I want to be protected. And I want to protect you. I’ll tell you everything I know about the syndicates. I’ll do everything I can to get you through. To fight them.”
Vera stared at Gavin with an open mouth.
Gavin’s gaze returned to Vera. “I’m learning. Please, I don’t know… how to do this, exactly, but I want to be in your family. Please. Just… tell me how to do it. Please don’t kill me. I… I’m sorry.” He bit his lip, his throat bobbing as tears rolled down his cheeks.
Isaac’s hands shook slightly. “Vera… I know it sounds fucking weird but—”
“Why didn’t you say anything before?” Vera murmured, her eyes fixed on Gavin.
“Um…” Gavin looked helplessly at the others. “I th-thought you’d kill me for it. I wasn’t trying to, to keep it from you, I swear…”
“Gavin,” Vera said softly. “I’m not… why would I kill you for this?”
“Um…” Gavin’s voice trailed off in the barest hint of a whimper.
Vera blushed and leaned back from the island. “Okay. No, that’s fair actually. Um.” She smoothed her hands through her hair, looking at Gray and Isaac in turn. “What do you… What do you think about this?”
“Um…” Isaac swallowed. “I think it’s, um, fine.” For a moment, Isaac felt the ghost of Gavin’s lips on his. His cheeks burned and he stared at the map in front of him.
“Gray?”
Isaac glanced up at them. They were staring at Gavin with a slight smile on their face, their eyes blazing with something like… triumph. Their smile soft with something like… fondness. “I think it’s great,” Gray said quietly.
Gavin bit his lip and stared tremulously at Vera. Her jaw worked as her gaze moved over the map, unfocused. Finally, she raised her eyes to look at Gavin. Her body no longer trembled with tension. Her shoulders relaxed and she held Gavin’s gaze with a look of overwhelming sadness that made Isaac’s bones ache.
They stared at each other for a moment, the tension in the kitchen falling, being replaced by something much calmer. Something like understanding.
“Gavin,” Vera said, her tone even, “This is more than a family. We put ourselves in situations we might not walk away from, where he have to depend on the other person to keep us safe or pull us out. If you want in with us, really in, you have to know that that’s what it’ll be like. That’s what we give each other. If want that from us, we have to you know we can have that from you, too.”
“I swear,” Gavin whispered. “I… You’ve already risked so much for me. And after I—” Gavin sucked in a breath. “You risked yourselves coming north with me. And Isaac, you—” Gavin and Isaac both blushed at the same time, their eyes flicking to the floor in tandem. Isaac glanced at Gray, who was watching them both intently. “Isaac, you had a fucking gun pointed at you yesterday, for me. When you could have l-let me die.” Gavin swallowed hard. “I don’t want to die. But I want to… to be in this family. I’d rather risk my life with you than have my own mother risk it. I’m sorry I kept this from you, Vera.”
Vera’s expression softened further. “I understand why you did.”
Gavin shook his head and stared at the floor. “I know the others won’t like it. I know that Tori—”
“Tori will come around,” Vera said gently.
Gavin’s head snapped up. “What?”
Vera smiled. “Tori will come around. Trust me.”
“But—”
“She’s been dealing with fucked-up people for a long time. She knows nobody is innocent. She’s housed people before who’ve done terrible things to escape the syndicates.”
“What I did was different,” Gavin murmured.
“You’re right. It was.” Vera shrugged. “It was torture. It was evil. But—”
Gavin flinched. Vera looked up at him, pinned him down with her gaze. “But I know you’ve changed. I can see it. So, if you’re serious… then yeah. We can do that.”
Gavin’s eyes went wide. “What… really?”
Vera glanced at Gray, as if for confirmation. Gray’s gaze pierced Isaac, then Vera. “It’s your decision,” they said quietly. “It’s your team now.”
Isaac swallowed hard and met Vera’s eyes. Isaac could read the look on her face, could read her better than anyone else in the world, except maybe Tori. If he means it… if he really means that he wants to be in our family, to risk his life right alongside us…
I trust him.
Vera’s mouth hardened into a line, and he knew he was mirroring her expression. They held each other’s gaze for another moment. They both nodded together.
“Okay,” Vera said softly. “You’re in the family.”
Gavin let out a gusty breath and crumpled forward, his eyes swimming with tears. “Thank you,” he huffed.
“We’ll tell the others tomorrow. And we’ll leave the day after that.” Vera straightened and turned her gaze back to the map. “Until then, we have to plan our trip south. You know your mo—” Vera pressed her lips together. “You know Colleen Stormbeck is our next target, right?”
Gavin nodded gravely. “Yeah,” he whispered.
Vera sought out Gavin’s gaze and held it. “We won’t kill her if we don’t have to. We just want to cripple her operations. But you have to understand if she poses a threat to the family, she dies. Do you understand that?”
Gavin’s jaw worked and he tore his eyes away from Vera’s gaze. “I understand,” he said softly.
Vera drew in a deep breath. “Are you okay with that?”
Gavin bit his lip, his eyes falling closed. “I know she’s my mom,” he said, pronouncing each word carefully. “I know she’s my f-family. But…” His eyes opened and fixed on Gray this time. “I’m remembering things. Things she used to say, things she used to do… I know she never loved me, okay? She only ever loved me when I was being like… my father. Like her. She didn’t even know I never raped my playthings.”
Vera flinched. Gavin looked at her, an apology heavy in his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “But… They never knew I wasn’t like them. If they did…” Gavin shuddered. “If we’d managed to get you and Tori back to the house, and I refused to rape you…” He nodded slowly. “I think my father would have killed me then.”
Vera’s mouth opened, then closed again. She closed her eyes and blew out a slow breath through her nose. When she spoke, her voice shook. “I know he would have,” she rasped.
“Okay.” Gavin took a step closer to the map. “I want to help you. I’ll tell you everything I know. Like I said, I don’t know the most current movements. All my information is at least nine months old. But—”
“Anything you tell us will be helpful,” Gray said, and placed a hand gently on Gavin’s shoulder.
Isaac watched as Gavin relaxed into the touch, his eyes closing in a slow blink before he focused on the map again, studiously keeping his eyes away from Isaac.
I wonder if he’s ever been touched like that before he came to us. I wonder if he only ever touched people when he was hurting them.
Isaac’s stomach bucked as he watched Gavin’s eyes move over the map.
I wonder if we could teach him every way there is to be loved.
His thoughts were interrupted as Gavin drew his finger down a county road that cut through the far west of Stormbeck territory. “Once we get to Bartram Springs, we can take this road down. This line,” Gavin said, his voice deeper, stronger, “Is right on the border of the Stormbeck and Anderson territories. We—” He cleared his throat. “The Stormbecks patrol this area sometimes, and so do the Andersons, but most of the time they stay away from each other. There isn’t much in the area worth negotiating for. That’s your best bet to get you here.” He pointed to a city northwest of Colleen’s headquarters. “Richfield. I know it’s contested, but the Stormbecks will be too busy focusing on the dissenters to look for us.”
Isaac and Vera shared a look.
“From Richfield, we can take the 25 to Broadmoore, as long as they haven’t ID’ed the car. And from Broadmoore we can make it to Fort Meyers.” His finger lingered on the dot marking the location of the town. “Where my mom lives,” he murmured.
Isaac’s heart pounded. We’ve never had this much information on how and where the syndicates operate. This could change everything.
“Thank you, Gavin,” Gray said softly.
Gavin nodded stiffly. “Once C-Colleen’s operations are crippled, the entire western sector will fall. They won’t be able to rebuild. Everything goes through her along this route.”
“This has been… more than helpful.” Gray looked at Isaac and Vera.
Isaac nodded, stunned. “Th-thank you, Gavin,” he murmured.
Gavin shyly raised his eyes to Isaac’s, and held his gaze.
I trust him.
Continued here
@untilthepainstarts, @womping-grounds, @free-2bmee, @quirkykayleetam, @walkingchemicalfire, @inpainandsuffering, @redwingedwhump, @burtlederp, @castielamigos-whump-side-blog, @insomniacscoprio, @cursedscribbles, @whumpywhumper, @stxck-fxck, @omega-em-z-02, @whumps-the-word, @slaintetowhump, @finder-of-rings, @cinnamonflavoredhugs, @thatsthewhump, @im-just-here-for-the-whump, @orchidscript
#honor bound 2#whump#emotional whump#the team is back in action#gavin is my bisexual disaster child#parental abuse tw#Vera's PTSD#love confession#murder bros#death mention tw#noncon mention tw#Vera knows what happens to people who refuse to rape playthings#touch starved Gavin#Isaac/Gavin#my oc: Isaac
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Twin Snowflakes pt 20: Choice Words
“All right everybody, I wanna see some hustle!” Harriet shouted at her students playing basketball. She blew her whistle loudly to get them going for the fourth time. Veronica had learned after the first blow to really dial back her senses if she wanted to avoid ringing in her ears. “Your coach really loves that thing.” Veronica looked down from the bleachers to see Summer stretching on the floor. To no surprise, the girl was pretty flexible, able to get her chest to the floor with her legs spread out into a v-shape. “Make sure to really get around your hips, knees, and lower back. I could tell your body was tight the day I took your measurements.”
Summer looked at the girl annoyed. “I don’t need a peanut gallery. I know how to stretch.” She stood and bent over backwards slowly. The sight of Veronica glaring at her made Summer turn the other way. She wasn’t expecting Valerie to be checking her out. “What the- how long have you been here!?” Valerie started stretching out both arms and wrists. “Well I would’ve been here sooner if I wasn’t waiting for you outside the locker room. You hate going in by your…” Valerie’s attention shifted up towards the bleachers where Veronica sat. “Self… What the hell are you doing here? Come to start trouble?” Valerie cracked her knuckle.
Veronica gave the longest eye roll of her life. “Please don’t make me embarrass you in front of a crowd.” A threat that prompted Summer to point at her while nudging Valerie away in vain. It had been two seconds and Summer was already playing babysitter. She was gonna nip this in the bud right now to avoid an oncoming headache. “No, stop talking to each other. Just shut up. Veronica you’re already on thin ice so don’t antagonize people unless you want actual problems to occur that will involve you being kicked out” Veronica’s attitude got a bit more bored and vexed. “Yeah yeah….” She groaned, annoyed by her situation. “Hard to stay quiet when a loud mouth is just begging to be put in their place.” Summer closed her eyes. Why’d she have to say something like? Valerie moves right past Summer. She wasn’t gonna let that slide. “By all means, what am I asking for?” Her tone was ripe with anger.
Veronica stood up and walked down to get right in the taller girl’s face. “Valerie, you are absolutely stupid. Childish in its purest form; a girl so self absorbed in the opinions of others yet utterly blind to that fact to the point it’s crippling. And for what? Ego? Some distorted sense of pride? It’s pathetic and insulting. I don’t understand why Nicholas is in love with a person like you.” Valerie’s hand swiftly rose half way up to Veronica’s face before Veronica grabbed her wrist. “Don’t ask for something then get made when you can’t handle it. Don’t get triggered by my mention of him if he’s nothing more than a friend. I would think you’d be desperate for him to look at someone that isn’t you.”
“I’d never want that person to be as cold and cruel as you.” Valerie bit back, harshly. “You’re the definition of self absorbed and ego. I can’t even name one time you’ve considered other’s feelings when it didn’t benefit you; besides Nick obviously. You treat Summer like shit.” Summer scrunched her face up as if she had just been called to the front of the class. Why did she have to be the example? Yes, Veronica walked all over and nothing about it ever felt nice, but she didn’t want to be a point of tension. Not right now at least. Veronica burrowed her eyes into her very soul, expecting an answer. “Well? Just gonna let this copper top speak for you?”
Copper top, now Summer knew Veronica was pissed. She wasn’t the person to insult appearance. “I mean you are pretty terrible. That’s putting it mildly. It’s like you always have a thorn stuck in your side, or itching to fight.” Valerie crossed her arms. “Behind that pretty face isn’t anything to brag about. Not even a brain from what I can tell; don’t act like you know. If someone has to watch you so badly then go hassle Nick instead of us. He has patience for it.” Veronica was at a loss for words. She couldn’t help but let out the tiniest chuckle. “Do you not know? Nick didn’t tell you?” Valerie looked at Summer puzzled. “Nick isn’t here Valerie. He’s been sick in bed since the fight yesterday.” Valerie’s face only got more shocked. “Wait, did you know about the fight?” Valerie shook her head. “Nick was in a fight yesterday!? I saw him right before I had to change. We-” Valerie’s words got stuck in her throat. She told Nick that she wanted space, to leave her alone. Did that upset him? No, he’s not the type to lash out. Nick didn’t tell her to honor her request. That idiot! Valerie bit her lip in frustration. She looked at the two girls in front of her. Summer looked concerned while Veronica was enjoying Valerie’s shocked expression. “Gee, it’s shocking Nick didn’t tell you. Can’t imagine why. Well, no I can. What was I saying about pride and being childish? Not sure of what you did but I bet it involves those two things.” Valerie had finally reached her limit with Veronica.”Fuck-”
“Well well well, look what the cat dragged in.”Jordan called out, annoyed by the sight of all three girls. She walked past them with disgust in her eyes and a group of girls in cheerleading uniforms behind her. Suddenly the argument taking place seemed secondary. “Was that attempt at being funny, or racist?” Veronica had to know.”Whatever one you want, fleabag.” That one was easier to figure out. Unlike with Valerie, Veronica did nothing but take a deep breath. Summer had other ideas. “Wanna try saying that for the whole class to hear!?” She shouted with ease. Harriet immediately caught wind of the forming chaos and blew her whistle. “Jordan, hurry up and get your butt over here before I make the cheer team do drills until you can backflip in their sleep!” Jordan picked up the pace.”Fine, nothing of value over here anyways..” she mumbled.
“That takes care of her!” Summer slouched. That plan actually worked! She raised her voice to someone and they didn’t get the chance to do the same. It would’ve been a proud moment if Veronica wasn’t looking at her like she had been the racist. “What? I’m paying you back for yesterday is all. Why are you upset!?” Veronica flicked Summer in the forehead. “Stop assuming. You caught me off guard is all. That bitch is a cheerleader? She definitely has the attitude.” Valerie did her best to hold her tongue on that statement. “Jordan is the leader of the team. Nobody performs as good as her,unfortunately. That alone inflates her ego.” Veronica carefully watched the group of girls get in formation and start doing their routine; specifically watching the way Jordan jumped into a split after doing a handspring. Was that really it? Her posture was good but that landing was far too heavy. She was gonna injure her ankle if she wasn’t careful. Veronica could do way better. In fact….”Hey?” She called out to Summer and Valerie with petty intent. “Want me to deflate her a little?”
xxxx
“Jordan hurt her ankle?” Nick said, clearing space in the messy guest room. “And now you’re taking her spot for the tournament?” Veronica snickered freely. I told her not to attempt an aerial after a back handspring that followed a cartwheel, but she had to prove she was better. Too bad she didn’t have anything to help with balance.” The happy wave of her tail picked up a deck of cards. Veronica opened the box and started shuffling just for the hell of it. This always calmed her mind for some reason. It was a perfect eye graber, displaying how nimble her fingers were and skill in sleight of hand. “So yeah, productive day. Valerie and argued for a moment. Sorry.” Nick nodded, “Nobody threw a punch. I’ll take what I can get.’ He reached for a single card and pulled a joker. The trickster looked like a hysterical skeleton with a sword through him. Nick failed to see what was so amusing. He gave the card back and focused on Veronica’s shuffling. It would be his job to find that card again. “How’d the office conversation go? Must’ve been fine if you’re embarrassing students.”
“Yeah. Your principal is a good man. All I have to do is have a council member by me at all times. Between you and Eliza, it’s basically a slap on the wrist.” Veronica cut the deck in half and started shuffling them separate. The chance of Nick finding that joker was nonexistent unless he caught on to her trick. Every third card her finger grazed was turned intangible and went through five cards before she stopped using her semblance. Finally she held twenty six cards in each hand. “If you can’t find the joker then you go back to bed when I’m done with your measurements.” Those were high stakes. Why couldn’t somebody let him do work!? “And if I find the joker?” Veronica smiled, “I’m at your mercy. You can decide whatever you want me to do.” He didn’t know why but that made him blush. He’d never abuse such power, yet it almost seemed like she expected him to say something outlandish. Veronica waved her hands. “Eliminate half of the deck. You’ll either increase your odds, or make them zero.” Now the pressure was really on. He eliminated the left deck and Veronica fanned out the right. So far so good. The joker was in the spot she always put it, thirteenth card out of the twenty six. She was corny like that. Only her parents and Ruby had ever found the joker when it was the target. All the cards had a reason for their placement. Most people just don’t pay attention through various rounds. Nick finally reached out and picked the tenth card unfortunately, grabbing the ace. “Awww, oh well.” Nick said. “I thought I had this in the bag.”
Veronica picked up all the cards and started grabbing measuring tape. Next was putting her hair in a ponytail and putting on glasses. She barely wore them around others. Being a faunus that couldn’t see in the dark was lame enough. Needing glasses to sew just felt like an extra blow to her fragile faunus pride. “Better luck next time. Anyways, let’s get down to business. Take your jacket off plea-” she had forgotten Nicholas was only wearing a tank top underneath. An audible gulp came from her as she stood in front of him with her tools. Nick spread his arms out for her to start measuring. “Ready.” He said, not realizing Veronica was gawking a little. Her hands studied his shoulders and chest. They had gotten broader. She could tell he’s been putting his all into his training, yet nobody would guess that with the typical close he wore. Slight tension around his right torso intrigued her. Veronica pressed her hands against it to find out that it was actually a little tender. If she remembered correctly, the Paladin had struck this side. Both hands felt their way done to his waistline. It was hard to ignore that his tank top stopped a little about it, revealing a little skin. Veronica’s mind was on autopilot. Half was expecting him to provide helpful advice and get an idea of what to add to his garb. The other half was turned off, logically that is. It was too busy admiring his body. Any designs for him were usually done with previous numbers. Veronica usually doesn’t get the chance to be this close; this intimacy with her clients was always the best way to make something. That’s why she always asks permission to touch them beforehand. Nick realized she had forgotten that rule this time around, but didn’t think he should bring it up. A blush cams across his face. Being looked at like this was a little...intense. Then, Veronica started purring lightly.
Nicholas wasn’t made for this kind of pressure. It was too much! Recent confessions only added to it. Veronica wasn’t looking at him. Veronica was looking at him. “Ummm, Vee?” He said nervously, hoping it was loud enough. Thankfully it was. She snapped out of her daze to meet a blushing boy looking right into her eyes. The overwhelming feeling of insecurity and anxiety was crystal clear in his eyes. Veronica’s face began turning red as her hands left the warmth of his body. She had gotten swept in the moment, choosing to break their gaze by looking away. “Sorry…” her voice now meek, losing any of the commanding confidence it once had.
“It’s okay…” he muttered, unsure of this situation. “I was a caught off guard is all. That kind of attention is pretty new to me.” Veronica went back to taking his measurements appropriately. “New? Girls throw themselves at you all the time. Don’t tell me you hadn’t noticed?” Nick shook his head. “It’s not the same. They throw themselves at me because of what they can get. Status, money, fame; another guy can have those and they’ll move on. Not like I’m bringing anything else to the table.” His voice trailed off. “Physically, what’s to be desired?” It wasn’t meant to be so somber but it was. To Nick, he was nothing more than a runt. An average looking one at that. If a guy had half the money he had and bulky or tall then they were way better off. It’s only natural to want the best choice. “It’s rude to talk about yourself like that.” Veronica said, her tone a bit more stern and upset than before. “Especially in front of someone who thinks you’re handsome and doesn’t care about what’s in your wallet.” She picked up a pen and paper to write down measurements. Nick assumed he could relax his body for the time being. “Thanks. Telling Summer something like that might boost her spirit.”
Veronica chuckled to herself. “Isn’t that her therapist’s job? Not much of a good one if he’s not doing that.” She put the pen down, annoyed by the thought of him. “Yet my parents keep bringing up the magic man himself. Says he’s a good listener if I need anything.” Nick was sorely confused by her attitude. Oscar is great! “What’s wrong with Dr.Os?” He couldn’t fathom anybody not liking a guy like him. Oscar was such a good man! Veronica didn’t seem to share that opinion however. “I just don’t believe listening to a person’s problems for an hour or two for a week does much. Therapy sounds like a big ploy and his smile is a bait.”
“Huh, well that’s an interesting viewpoint to say the least.” Nick wasn’t aware she had such strong feelings about it. “Well it’s a ploy with some benefits. He’s definitely helped me a bunch.” Veronica looked at Nicholas smile softly as he started running his hand through his hair. “Wait, you’ve gone to therapy?” She asked. He’s never mentioned such a thing. “Of course, when I was younger that is. I had a whole schedule along with Summer. Still check in from time to time.” He sounded embarrassed about that last part. “Seeing your family hospitalized for an incident you caused us heavy stuff, especially when you’re a kid. The only thing more daunting is seeing that person’s face become twisted as they try to kill you. Don’t tell Summer, but Shiva has done more than a little to unnerve me.” He laughed, playing off the severity of it to ease himself. It was clear by the frown Veronica wore that she felt sad for him. “What’s with the face? I’m fine, talking about it isn’t a problem for-” Nick was interrupted as two hands were raised in front of his face. “Ten minutes.” Veronica said with a commanding presence. Nick split her hands apart to see her absolute confidence stare at him. “If you ever feel like you need to decompress or rant like there’s no tomorrow, then come to me. Speak your truth unapologetically for ten minutes and I won’t hold or mention any of it. Deal?”
This was surely a change in attitude. The girl was just talking about how a couple of hours isn’t enough time and here she is offering ten minutes. It was so strange. So spontaneous, yet generous. It was so….Veronica. Nick couldn’t help but appreciate the gesture. He clicked his teeth, “only if you do the same with me. I think you’ll find having someone listen to your problems is precious no matter the length of time.” The offer was expected. “Typical Nicholas, taking an act of kindness to help someone else. Learn to be greedy once and a while. Deal.” She removed her hands until Nick held onto them. Veronica’s brain started frying. He was getting closer, leaning closer. “Nick?” She said quickly. His face seemed so calm as he got close enough for Veronica to feel the warmth of his body and breath invade her space. Her own face became hot. She didn’t know what to do! Nick had completely caught her off guard. Was this a dream? Veronica hoped not or else that meant she still might be in school, or worse, that day hadn’t started. “Calm yourself Veronica! You wanted this for years! Just calm yourself and-” Nick’s head suddenly fell down and rested around her shoulder and chest gently. Veronica looked down at him. “Huh…?” She brought her hand to his face to look at him. Not only was it flushed but it was burning hot! His fever went back up! “Nick! Your fever!” He only grumbled, tired and willing to comply with what came next. “Maybe I overdid it a little. Help me back to my bed?” He might’ve asked but it was more of an obligation. His eyes closed seconds later as he drifted off to sleep. Veronica could only remain still, overwhelmed by her own assumptions. A few seconds later and she would’ve stolen a kiss by mistake. Life truly was cruel for teasing her like that. The girl stood up to support his body and started walking. At least he was light. “Can’t believe this. Why is life like this!?” She cried out internally.
xxxx
Long hallways were a dumb idea. Putting Nick to bed would’ve been done sooner if his family didn’t live in a modern day castle. Walking back to her room was worse, now she was alone with nothing to think about but him. She was glad he passed out after all the measuring was finished though. Proper progress could finally start with his outfit. Hopefully he won’t be too sick. Adding a dust of some kind to energize his body or keep him comfortable might be a good idea. Speaking of dust, Veronica knew it was a must for Summer. The way Nick talked about Shiva made Veronica’s skin tense up. Her single encounter with the woman, if you could call her that, was actually unnerving. “It might be best to tell Summer about that after all. Along with asking questions about Shiva in general. My design won’t be any good if it unleashes a frozen hell. Then I’ll really deserve some nasty looks.”
To think time away from Menagerie would be more complex than staying. The only difference was Veronica was now dealing with other people’s problems. A welcome change in her opinion. She kept walking and came across Summer, who was just about to enter her room again. A white guitar with a paw print on it was in the girl’s hand. “Oh yeah, you did have a dog.” Veronica said aloud. Summer finally noticed her. “Huh? Oh this? Yeah, named this beauty Dolt. Just like him.” She strummed a few cords to give a beautiful sound that filled the hall. How such talent could exist within a person like Summer was beyond Veronica’s comprehension.
“So, you tell Nick about my little water works moment?” Veronica looked at the girl as if she had just spoken gibberish. “I don’t care what you do in the privacy of your own room. That is, unless it deals with that strange dust you’re hiding behind your mirror.” Summer’s heart immediately stops. Veronica points to her own nose and crinkles it. “It was only for an instant but I definitely smelled a painfully potent dust when I entered your room. Actually… it was the same sent as Shiva’s” Veronica admitted, watching Summer get even paler. “Y-You saw- when could you have possibly-” Summer couldn’t keep her head in order. Her body began to shake as her mouth became dry. The beating in her heart began to sound like thunder in her eardrums while her chest felt tight. “I was asleep wasn’t I? What did she do!? Who did she- is she why you want me drinking milk!?” Summer shouted, tears welling up and freezing the moment they ran down her cheeks. “What stunt are you trying to pull!? Don’t listen to her! I shouldn’t have listened to you! All you-”
Veronica pressed her hands hard against Summer’s face. The stinging sensation reddened the twin's face and brought attention to the composed look of acquaintance. “ You need to calm yourself.” Veronica said sternly. She inhaled then exhaled repeatedly for Summer to imitate. The shear cold of Summer’s own skin made Veronica’s hands feel numb. Along with the unpleasant smell of peppermint, it was clear to tell that Summer had been losing herself in the panic. Forget musical talent, Veronica couldn’t figure out how a person like her was still alive. That panic attack looked like it was gonna be the final nail in a coffin. Veronica took Summer’s hand and pulled her inside of her questionably hot room. “Summer, relax…”
Summer tried her best. She bit her bottom lip and took one deep inhale through her nose then out of her mouth. “Okay, okay…” her voice trembled, regaining composure. “I’m alright. Just give me a second.” Summer walks to her bed and lays flat on her back. A light layer of sweat ran down her forehead. Things will be okay. Answers, calming down, and a plan. Then she’ll be okay. “When did you see her?”
“The night I got here. Apparently you passed out without turning on your heater or anything. I bumped into her in the kitchen trying to eat, mainly dairy.” That last part didn’t sit well with Summer. Her eyes narrowed from Veronica’s words. “Don’t look at me like that. I was gonna force dairy into your diet anyways because of our arrangement. If anybody seems to be dancing with danger then it’s you.” Veronica took a good whiff of her surroundings. The scent led her to Summer’s vanity mirror. She reached behind it carefully until her fingers ran across two small vials and grabbed them. The dust glowed a beautiful light cyan color. A few seconds into holding them and Veronica started feeling the cold go through her, making her put it down. She had Never felt dust that was constantly active in any form. “Where the heck did you get this?”
“Penny’s lab. I, I stole it…” Summer mumbled. Guilt didn’t begin to describe how she felt about going through with it. “That stuff made Shiva appear so maybe it can unmake her. Nick and I secretly go out sometimes for me to practice controlling her. Not alone typically. If I learn to use her powers-”
“You’re gonna kill yourselves…” Veronica interjected, her voice colder than the dust. “Give me a break. You’d drag your brother into a situation like that? And I do mean drag, because the only reason he’s going alone with it is because you’re his precious little sister. Ugh, it makes me sick; do you ever get tired of being a burden?” Those words cut a little too close to the heart. Of course she was. All Summer ever thinks about is being on her own. The girl rose up to retaliate in anger, only to be shoved back down with ease. Her entire body was trembling again. “What? More water-”
“Fuck off Veronica.” Summer said through clenched teeth. Her forearm covered her weeping eyes. “What makes you think you can just say whatever the hell you want; of course you wouldn’t understand.” Summer refused to lay down and got up again right in front of Veronica. “It must be nice to be so perfect and unbothered by everything. Do me a favor and stay out of my business.” Blue clashed with lilac silently. How many times have they been at odds like this? More than Veronica cared to count. She could remember how many times Summer looked this angry. Everything about her was shaky, including her clenched fist.
“Relieving tension or contemplating swinging hitting me?” Summer didn’t answer. Not even she could trust her response. As angry as she was, Veronica wasn’t the one she wanted to let it out on. “Can’t decide? Guess I’ll choose for you.” Veronica walked away, opening the door to leave. “Tomorrow, seven o’clock, the both of us are going down to Mantle’s forest. Bring one of those stupid viles with you.” Summer finally stopped tensing up. “What…?”
“You’re brother is still sick and won’t be getting better dealing with you pulling stunts like this. Since you clearly aren’t going to change your mind I guess I’ll fill in. Don’t oversleep, and for your sake, bring your sword. Punches aren’t your style.” Veronica left on that note. She immediately went through the ground and went searching for her. Perfect and unbothered? Yeah right. That couldn’t be further from the truth. She found her mother watching a movie in what was probably a theater room. Yang heard the girl barge in. “Hey sweetie. Wanna w-”
“Get your boxing gloves.” Veronica said quickly. She barely understood what she said herself. “I need to vent, badly.” Yang could see the girl’s eyes burn with emotion. The movie was out on pause and Yang stood up. “Okay. Give me your best shot and let’s mix things up too. I’ll meet you in the garden in five minutes.” Veronica nods and walks off. Yang didn’t know what put her daughter in such a foul mood but Yang was determined to find out. But before any of that she needed to call Blake. A lot has happened the last couple of days that she would no doubt want to know. “Hey Bl-”
“VERONICA STARTED A FIGHT!?” Yang went pale. Looks like Blake already knew about a few things. This would definitely take more than ten minutes.
Part 19
#rwby#rwby au#rwby twin snowflakes#nicholas schnee#blake belladonna#summer schnee#val valkyrie#harriet bree#yang xiao long#bmblb#veronica belladonna
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Not her - Jooheon scenario
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | FINAL
“Oppa~ What do you think of this dress?” Kihyun lifted his head after you called out to him. You stepped out of the changing space and revealed one of many outfits you collected together in the store. Kihyuns eyes widened at your sight, his face became hot, his mouth became dry.
“You look gorgeous Y/N-ssi!” he gave you his most beautiful smile. Your smile mirrored the one from the person in front of you. Kihyuns eyes scanned your attire as you spinned around to show off your body. The dress hugged your curves perfectly, the fabric kissed your skin, the neckline rounded your chest into a beautiful heart. The vibrant red enhanced your beauty.
“Do you think it’s good enough for the event?” Your eyes searched for Kihyuns answer. The male was invaded by you, he didn’t even realized how you flicked your fingers in front of his face to catch his attention.
“Earth to Yoo Kihyun!” a small chuckle escaped your chest and Kihyun came back from his dreamworld.
“Oh Sorry, I got carried away. I didn’t knew that the workout with Hoseok-hyung and Changkyun would improve your body that much.” He was clearly surprised his expression showed no lie. You couldn’t hold back your laugh and took his statement as a compliment.
“Thanks Kihyun. I’ll take that as a compliment. So back to my original question: Do you think I could wear that to the wedding?”
“Even though you look good in it! It is kinda unfortunate, it’s too revealing and too sexy to be worn at a wedding.” Kihyun was honest, he loved the dress on you, but he knew it was too inappropriate for such event. Your lips formed a small poud, giving in to Kiyhuns words. You loved the dress but it is really too much.
“I wish I could buy it, but I can afford only one dress.”
Kihyun noticed the sad tone in your voice and tried to cheer you up.
“Come on Y/N~ We’ll find another dress. This dress can wait, you can buy it later. But now you need a dress where you don’t look like the hottest woman in the world. Who tries to steal the groom and his men of honors!”
Those words made you giggle and comfortable again. The past months were too frustrating, you had to deal with so much hate towards yourself. It was exhausting and sad.
You were happy that Kihyun suggested to go shopping with you. Because of him you were able to love yourself again and boost your self esteem. His words made your body hot, your chest was vibrating. No coldness in your body was left behind, he melted it away.
At this point you must’ve fallen for him, but that wasn’t the case. Your heart belonged to someone else and it wouldn’t let him go so easily.
“Go try my dress on!” Kihyun pushed you into the changing room. He don’t wanted you to see what kind of effect you had on him. He’s a man, a man with needs and you were not helping him. Kihyun would never lay a finger on you, he knew how much your heart was crying for his friend and those thought kept him away from falling into your spell. He wished for your happiness and the greatest things in life. He wanted to support you in any way he could.
You walked out of the changing room again, a dark blue gown falling down from your hips. Another beautiful fitting dress, a dress so elegant and perfectly made for you and only.
“Well that looks like a dress for a wedding. Now turn around a little.” Kihyun was satisfied, especially since he chose the dress. He approached you and reached his hands to your shoulders, signaling you to turn around. He took a closer look, he knew it was perfect, he choose it by the way.
Kihyun was right, it was the perfect dress. You smiled at your own reflection, the male stood behind you sharing this moment with you. You liked it, but the other dress wouldn’t leave your mind. Your friend noticed your gaze towards the other gown, his heart clenched. Love towards the dress was visible. But you decided against it, you needed to look presentable on this event and the other dress wasn’t helping.
You both finished and decided for the last dress, paid it and exit the store.
“What time is it?” Kihyun looked at his watch.
“We should head to the cafe, the others might be there now”
“Ok” you both walked your way towards the cafe, it wasn’t really far away and you reached it within 20 minutes.
As you entered through the two giant glass doors, your eyes wandered through the new place. It was a pretty minimalistc cafe.
Your eyes landed onto a strong back of a man, those shoulders were too familiar, Kihyun noticed him too and both of you made their way towards the said man.
“Hey!” You greeted and sat down the opposite of Hoseok, while Kihyun sat down next to him.
“Where’s the Maknae?” asked Kihyun.
“He’s at the restroom and will come back soon. We haven’t ordered yet, since we arrived not long ago.” Hoseok looked through the menu and laid it down after he finished his sentence.
His met eyes yours, a smile appeared on his face.
“You look so happy! Found something?” Hoseok was curious about your bright face.
“I found two really nice dresses and bought one for the wedding! I’m so excited to wear it! But I could only afford one.” sadness overtook you as you remembered the red dress and pouted playfully towards the man. A low chuckle escaped his chest and his smile grew.
“Oh, don’t worry maybe later!” his smile washed away the sad emotion.
“Hi there! -” Changkyun came back from his visit to the restroom, greeted you with a smirk and sat down next to you.
“So how was your little shopping trip with Kihyun?”
“It was really good and we found a dress! Wanna see? Kihyun actually found it first.” You took the bag onto your lap, revealing the top of the dress.
“That looks really good, I bet you look really good in it. I can’t imagine, Kihyun having some sense of style!” The Maknae teased his older friend.
“Yah, be careful with your words!” Kihyun got a bit mad at the spoken words from the younger one, but they didn’t stayed for long. They vanished after he heard your small giggle. He couldn’t help himself and chuckle at your reaction, you were trying hard not to laugh and failed after both of you met each others eyes.
The four of you erupted in laughter, amused by that small awkward interaction. Until you ordered and tried many tasteful things on the menu, the time went fast and you didn’t realized that you’ve been sitting for 4 hours at the same spot. Realization hit Hoseok after receiving a message from their Leader, asking where they are.
“Hyunwoo-hyung texted me, asking where we are.”
“What time is it actually?” Kihyun suddenly seemed to be in a rush, fiddling with his phone to check up the time.
“Let me get something real quick. I forgot to pick something up. Give me a few minutes ok?”
“We can go together and than head straight to the dorm.” Hoseok suggested to join the younger one.
“No! I’ll be fast, don’t worry. Take your time and finish the meal, we can meet up at the car.” Kihyun declined Hoseoks offer and walked straight out of the cafe and ran off as he slipped through the doors.
“Strange, he never mentioned to pick something up.” you were confused and wiped off the thought. Sipping on your drink, you noticed how the Maknae was staring intensely on his phone screen. Changkyun noticed your lingering gaze and turned his head to you.
“Is something? Did something happen? You were so quite today. Is something bothering you?” the words slipped through your lips as the feeling of concern washed over your shoulders.
“I’m fine, it’s just -” Changkyun hesitated to answer your questions, but as he saw the worry in your eyes, he gave in. Something has been bothering him for a while now and he couldn’t talk about it, with no one. It slowly started to frustrate him and he knew he had to talk about it.
“I don’t know how to say it or which words to use correctly. I’m just really worried.”
“Changkyun, what’s wrong? You can talk to us about it.” now your worries started to increase and curiosity flashed in your mind.
What is bothering him?
“You’ve been on my mind a lot lately. And-” He started and your thoughts were going wild, your eyes went wide, Hoseok was like a reflection in a mirror of you.
Is he trying to confess?
You and Hoseok shared the same thought, your heart started to race and you became nervous, scared of the outcome. You don’t want to hurt his feelings, but you couldn’t return them.
“Please don’t take it the wrong way, but this whole situation is so messed up! Between you and Jooheon. I mean he’s hurting you and not like a small pinch on your arm kind of pain, but I mean emotional pain. Pain that brought you into depression, pain that drove you so crazy, that you couldn’t even work for weeks. I can’t imagine how much it must’ve hurt to be next to him, yesterday. I feel so sorry, I insisted that Minhyuk should invite you over. I thought you could heal a little and be normal again with Jooheon, especially since his girlfriend wasn’t around.”
You were shocked at Changkyuns confession, he wouldn’t normally talk about his feelings, especially not that open. You also couldn’t understand why he was sorry. The evening went great, you had a lot of fun. Especially with Jooheon, there was no tension at the end. It was as if you went back in time, the time before the relationship with his girlfriend started. Jooheon was you best friend that night, he was back. No mood swings, no jealousy only his cheery and happy self that you fell in love with in the first place. Guilt built up in your guts as you saw Changkyuns sad expression, your arm framed the man automatically.
“Oh Changkyun, don’t be sorry. Last night went great don’t you think? We all had so much fun together.”
“But Y/N, you were so heartbroken, I felt like I was forcing you to hang out with him and I feel so damn guilty. “ he continued.
“First - It was a really amazing night and I had a lot of fun! Second: It was my decision to come over! Minhyuk texted me that I don’t have to come if I’m still to uncomfortable. But I went anyway, cuz I knew there will be people who love me and take good care of me. So please don’t be sorry, all you wanted was the best for me.” you tried your best to push away the guilty feeling within the Maknae and cheer him up with your words. He formed a small smile, staring down onto the table.
“Now, tell me why you’ve been sticking with your phone the whole time.”
“You really started to hate phones don’t you?” Hoseok was amused by your dislike towards phones.
“I don’t hate them, I just don’t like it when I’m in a conversation with someone and we get interrupted by that damn thing.” you reasoned yourself, your dislike towards the device started after Jooheon started to date, what a coincidence, right?
“Jooheon texted me.” Changkyun sighed, should he tell you about Jooheons recent struggles? Changkyun knew both sides, not only about your emotional state, but also the one of his best friend and co rapper. He knew Jooheon has been struggling with his own emotions, they were everywhere. Changkyun knew about his undying love for you and was even more frustrated with the whole situation. The Maknae wanted to scream at both of you, for being too stupid to see through this stupid one sided see-through mirror wall between you. You loved Jooheon and Jooheon loved you. All you both saw were illusions of one another. Too scared to break the surface and to reach out.
Nervousness overtook your system, did something happen? Worry was visible on your face. Changkyun debated with himself, whether to tell you about his friends emotions and concerns or to lie to you. You seemed heald, but he knew you were far away from that state.
“Jooheon asked me if I could help him with his new song, he’s been struggling with it a lot lately.” He choose to lie, Jooheon had to confess to you himself and not through him. Hoseok catched the Maknae lying and he let him, he knew you might get hurt, so he just played along. A small signal from Hoseoks phone broke the conversation, he received a text from Kihyun.
“Let’s head out, Kihyun is waiting for us at the car.”
The three of you stood up and left the place, as you arrived, you spotted Kihyun within the car, sitting in the backseat.
“Why in the back? You had the perfect opportunity to sit in the passenger seat.” Hoseok made fun of the man.
“I wanted to sit in the back, is that bad?”
“Guys let’s hop into the car, or else someone will notice you!” Their Manager made himself visible as Hoseok opened the car door. Your way back to the dorm was fast, you joined the three men, Hoseok suggested a movie night. As you entered the dorm, you noticed two more figures in the living room. Shownu and Hyungwon sat on the couch, watching a show on the TV. They clearly waited for the four of you. Hyungwon noticed your figure and greeted you, Shownu followed his gesture.
“Come here Y/N sit down next to me.” Hyungwon patted the spot next to him signaling you to fill up the space between him and Shownu. Without hesitation, your legs moved towards the couch and sat down, placing a pillow onto your lap and hugging it. In the corner of your eye, you noticed how Kihyun went cautious into one of the rooms, with a questioning bag in his hand. You didn’t paid more attention to it and enjoyed your rest on the couch. You were walking the whole day and now happy to be able to relax your legs.
By the time, the other members arrived to the dorm and planned on joining you to round this resting day, prepared for the upcoming hard schedule, they have to face in a few hours. Jooheon joined the group gathering, after his isolation in the bedroom.
You noticed how Jooheon was relaxed but also tensed. As if he was able to release himself from something, but was scared of what would come next. He was more open around you, like nothing happened the past months. You thought it was odd, but didn’t mind it at all. The first 15 minutes, his phone would non stop ring, message after message. We all grew annoyed by his phone, until he turned it off himself. He seemed pissed off at the constant spamming.
Kihyun sat next to you, you both were cuddled up in a blanket. You both interacted a lot, giggling, smiling and discussing certain things that happened in the movie. Jooheon noticed the intimacy between you two. His insides started to boil slowly.
The second movie ended and all eight of you decided to take a small break and grab some snacks and drinks.
“Y/N-ssi! I got something for you. Wait here ok?” Kihyun stood up, your source for warmth, now gone. Impatiently waiting, you leaned your head towards the direction he was leaving. He returned, the bag you saw earlier, in his hands.
“Here. I couldn’t help it, but you were so sad about it. I decided to just buy it.”
“No you didn’t -” You were shocked, you’d never expected something like this to happen. The attention went straight to the both of you.
“Is it what I think it is?”
“Open up and you’ll see” Your excitement made Kihyun smile. You took the red gown out of the bag, revealing it to the others.
“Wow Y/N-ssi! Is that the dress you’ve been talking about? I didn’t knew that the dress would be that good!” Changkyun was amazed at the gown and went straight to you, touching the fabric, Minhyuk followed him and did the same.
“Go try it on! I wanna see it on you!” Hoseok was as excited as a small child, eager to see you in the gown.
“Thank you Kihyun!” You stood up immediately, gave Kihyun a big tight hug and rushed into Hoseoks room, since it was the closest. Jealousy took over Jooheons actions, he stood up with full force. The members gazes followed Jooheons figure, eyes wide open. Scared and shocked at the same time, they didn’t knew - follow and stop him or let his emotions be spilled in front of you that would lead to a confession.
Jooheon threw the door open, you got startled. You were about to strip out of the first item that has been on your body. The energy radiating from Jooheon was scaring you, he was extremely mad. He couldn’t hide his emotions anymore, he needed all his thoughts out or he’ll go mad crazy.
“Why?” his word were harsh and strong.
“Why what? Jooheon you’re scaring me!” he paid no attention to your last sentence, stepping closer to your now small figure.
“Why are you with him? I am your best friend! I am!” He hit his chest hard, emphasizing his words that are directed towards him.
“Jooheon! What are you talking about?” Now you fired back, not understanding this whole situation. The others were listening, the wall was too thin. They heard every word, but they didn’t interfere. They knew you both needed to be clear towards each other. You needed him and he needed you.
“What I’m talking about? Stop fucking around with Kihyun in front of my fucking eyes!” he got louder after every word, his voice becoming stronger.
“I’m not fucking around with Kihyun, what makes you think like that?” you were lost, everything seems like a sick joke to you, some kind of prank, that was clearly not funny.
“You are acting with him all lovey dovey! Flirting with him! Touching around! Smiling, laughing! And then tell me you don’t have a thing with him? Do you think I’m too stupid to see that?”
“Am I not allowed to be around others? He’s my friend just like you! I don’t prevent you from touching your stupid girlfriend! I don’t whine like a baby like you do. Do you know why? Because I have no damn business in your relationship and I respect everything! But you make my days even worse! Why can’t I be around people who care about me! Do I have to ask for permission to meet up with other who are not you?” Your fears were now replaced with anger, you wouldn’t hold back anymore, not caring about the outcome of this mess.
“I just want you to stop playing around with him! I repeat I am your best friend! No one should be as close to you as I do!”
“I am not your possession Jooheon! I’m my own person! I can decide for myself!”
“No you can’t!”
“Why not?”
“Because I am here to protect you!” You couldn’t believe your ears how Jooheon was able to become even louder as before. You tried to keep your voice steady, it’s too hard to reach his level.
“Where’s the need to protect me from Kihyun? He’s your Friend you know him for so many years. Don’t you trust your own brother?”
“I’m not protecting you from him. I’m protecting him from you!” Now you were confused. Why does Kihyun need to be protected from you. The frown got deeper as you got more lost in the circle of confusion.
“What are you talking about? Jooheon you are making no sense!”
“Stop acting like a brat! You know what what I’m talking about!”
Frustration mixed with confusion made your body hot, your limbs started to tremble a little. Your mind is flooded with so many questions, but you couldn’t phrase one. You avoided his gaze for a short time, to avoid his dark eyes and clean up your mind, just a little. Looking back at him, for the first time, you noticed how deep his eyes became. You saw how many words, they wanted to say, but couldn’t. Locked away behind a window. But reading his true emotions was too difficult.
“Jooheon I don’t know what you’re talking about, seriously! -” you tried to calm him down, as you lowered your voice. “Explain it to me, please!”
A frustrated groan escaped out of the male, turning around and returning back in front of you. You both were frustrated and Jooheon wouldn’t calm down.
“How do you not know? You are playing with everyones feelings, because of you everyone gets hurt! And you always play innocent!” He pointed his index finger towards your face, coming extremly close. The tears in your eyes screamed for release. Your sight became blurry, your lips trembled.
“Why are you saying those things? I’m playing with no ones feelings! The only person who’s playing with feelings is you! You Jooheon! You’ve been playing with everyones feelings and not me! -” The tears were free, there was no reason to hold them back anymore.
His eyes became more fierce and dark, not believing your words. He chuckled at your remark and took a step back.
“You are the reason everyone is extremely tensed up. No one knows how to approach you. Especially since you’ve been dating your stupid girlfriend that no one can stand! Everyone is worried about you, your mood swings make us go crazy. They make me go crazy!” you tried to catch your breath as the sobbing became stronger. You felt so much smaller. At this point you couldn’t hold back anymore, you wanted to spill everything out of you, out of every cell in your body. You were broken, it hurt, you wanted to leave but couldn’t. It was now or never.
“Y/N-”
“You have no idea how much you effect the people around you!” You interrupted him, you wanted him to know everything and he’ll not stop you.
“Since the day you introduced this woman to us, you’ve been so mean to me. Scolding me non-stop for no reason. For things you normally would never get mad at. You weren’t talking to me for a while until yesterday, when we all gathered together. Do you know how much it hurt, when you ignored me? The worst thing about it was, that I didn’t even knew what I did wrong! Changkyun and Hoseok had to calm me down, they were there to comfort me. You were supposed to be there for me and catch my tears. You were supposed to be my best friend. And all you did was turn your back on me.” You took a small break, catching your breath. Jooheon kept silent, still looking straight at your figure and waited until you continued.
“I needed you, especially after your girlfriend came to the cafe and spilled her whole coffee onto me! She insulted me and your members, laughing into my face, calling me stupid. Telling me I wasn‘t worth it to be called your friend!” those words hit him, his heart shredded, his eyes widened.
“What?” this small question was the only thing that left his lips.
“It hurt Jooheon, I felt so worthless. I thought there was no point in living. But you know what brought back my living force? You! -” You let your last words settle into his mind and continued. “I couldn’t let go of our friendship, because of some woman who doesn’t even love you! I saw her real face, we all knew her real face many times. She was playing with you, she used you so she could become famous and then ditch you! I tried to talk to you about it, but you brushed me off, like some kind of dirt. I should’ve left your side, but I stayed and endured the pain - seeing her playing with you! Playing with your feelings! I endured the pain seeing you happy with her. I endured every f*cking second seeing you giving her loving eyes. I endured every time you gave her your love and her throwing it into trash.” more tears escaped your eyes, not stopping soon. Jooheon now looked at the floor, not lifting his eyes.
“Jooheon.-” said man lifted his eyes, looking at your fragile body. Even if your sight was blurry, you noticed how glassy his eyes have become. “You can be with anyone, but not her! I’ll endure the pain. Because I love you. You derserve so much better and I want you to be happy.“ a heavy silence filled the room. The air became thick, to hard to breath. Tears ran down his cheeks, a small sob escaped his lips together with these words, you never imagined to hear.
“And what if I wanna be with you?”
_____
Here are the following tags:
@lidda
@meiiyue
@pleasantpeachstudent
#monsta x#monsta x scenario#monsta x scenarios#monsta x reaction#monsta x imagines#monsta x reactions#monsta x imagine#jooheon scenarios#jooheon scenario#jooheon#joohoney#shownu#wonho#minhyuk#kihyun#hyungwon#changkyun#not her part 5#final decision
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cheat code (2/2) duff mckagan x reader x izzy stradlin
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part 1 part 2
a immediate continuation of part one. you might want to read or re-read part one first then come back to this but you do you boo
Song: down the road by dirty honey
tag list: @cynic-spirit @satans-arse @slashscowboyboots
+++++++++
"I caught him cheating on me."
I said, my voice barely audible.
"I'm gonna kill him."
Izzy said again but I was still holding his arm in my hand. I sent him a disapproving look.
"If you guys wanna do something then help me put all this shit away. My room is trashed too. I didn't even know he did this till you got here and I'm scared to see what's really broken."
Duff nodded, strutting to the cab and relieving him of his duties. Izzy looked down at my hand still on him and sighed. If I was being honest I was scared to let go. He took it in his and wrapped it around his body, pulling me in for a hug. I was kind of surprised at first but melted into him as he held me, reveling in his warmth. Duffs hand found it's way to my back before disappearing. When I pulled away Izzy held my hand and led me into the house. Duff was already working on getting the bookshelf standing again.
"This is a lot of shit."
Izzy noted, making me laugh for the first time in what felt like forever.
"Well it's less than it was yesterday so bonus I guess."
I said shrugging and slinking over to where duff was. I sighed before dropping to my knees, pushing the books around me into a pile.
"How about I hand them to you and you start putting them up top?"
I asked looking up at duff. He nodded, sliding his jacket off his shoulders and tossing it to the couch with ease.
"Do you think this still works?"
Izzy asked, pushing the TV upright. I looked over at him as I handed duff a few books.
"Shit if I know. Im surprised he didn't take it with him. Unless it was too heavy. Ive never even watched the damn thing."
I mentioned, turning back to duff and handing him a few more of the smaller books. I got to work too, pushing the larger ones into the bottom shelf to weigh it down.
"Do you want me to put it back?"
Izzy asked, cleaning around the television. I thought for a second as he looked at me, arms full of knick-knacks and keepsakes.
"Actually, no. I think I'll get rid of it."
I said firmly, finally making a decision about it. If he was gone there was no valid reason for me to keep it. All news I needed I got from the radio and I didn't care for the shows they played, the few channels we got not being very interesting.
"Records in the big one?"
Duff asked, picking up a few vinyls. I nodded, watching him slide them into place after making sure they were all going the right way.
"Thanks guys, this really means a lot."
I said, looking from duff to Izzy across the room.
"Hey, you're a damsel, you're in distress; we got this."
Duff joked, helping me off the ground. I smiled at him and shook my head.
"Oh iz you can just put that in the coffee table."
I said, pushing it back up on its legs and opening one of the drawers. He slid the papers he had gathered in it. I looked around the room wide eyed, it was looking better but there was still glass everywhere.
"This is gonna take forever."
I sighed out. Izzy placed his hand on my shoulder.
"Hey, we got the big stuff already. How about we go check out your room now instead. You said it was trashed too right?"
I nodded reluctantly.
"Yeah, it's worse."
I said leading the way down the hall. When I flipped the light on I wanted to vomit again, freezing in my tracks. It looked so much worse illuminated and I could still see the image of them in the bed. It was burned into my eyes. Duff touched my arm and I jumped.
"It's okay y/n, it's just me."
I placed my hand on his and let out the breath I was holding in.
"Right."
Was all I could say.
"Where do you want us to start? I supposed we could put all the clothes on the bed-"
"No."
I said firmly, not looking at Izzy as he spoke.
"Okay, we could do something else."
He said confused.
"I'll start on the clothes. You two just get that thing out of here. I don't want to look it at, I don't want to think about it. If anything I want it incinerated."
I said sternly about the bed, putting my hand in the air and pretending to push it away from me. They exchanged glances before shrugging and doing as told. I began picking dresser drawers up as they got to work, lifting the mattress off the frame. I watched them for a second as they carried my worries back down the hall. I sighed in relief as I filled the dresser, one by one folding my clothes and putting them away. It was about ten minutes before I looked up again, Izzy standing in the doorway with a wide grin on his face.
"What?"
I asked hesitantly and he quickly held up his pack of matches.
"Wanna burn it?"
He asked and my eyes went wide. Well yeah but I wasn't going to. I looked over at the wooden frame still in the middle of the room, his gaze following mine.
"Duff, come here!"
He called down the hall, him emerging a second later.
"What?"
He asked, also following my gaze.
"Right."
He said, pushing Izzy into the room. They unlatched the headboard from the base, carrying it in pieces.
"Come on y/n, let's set fire to this bitch."
Duff said with a laugh. I sighed and stood off the floor, noting how empty my room was now without the bed in it. I walked down the hall, through the kitchen, and out intoo the backyard. It wasn't fairly large but it seemed so much smaller with the mattress and now broken up frame in the middle of it. I watched Izzy light his cigarette before offering me the pack of matches.
"Wanna do the honors?"
He asked. I half smiled, taking it from him.
"Yeah."
I said holding my hand out. He looked confused for a second before I stole his cigarette and took a long hard drag. It was much better than the one I'd indulged in the night prior. I handed it back to him before lighting the whole pack, dropping it onto the fabric. It burned for a second before catching the headboard and being engulfed in flames. We all stood back and watched it, the crackle of the fire bring a new warmth to the morning air.
"Want some?"
Duff asked, offering me a bottle I hadn't noticed before. Part of me wondered where the hell he'd gotten it as well as when. We had been kind of busy the last hour or so after all.
"Eh what the hell."
I said taking it from him and taking a long drink. I groaned as it detached from my lips and handed it back to him.
"So, who's place are you staying at till you get a new bed?"
Izzy asked, lighting another cigarette against the mattress flames. He puffed out the smoke, dipping his free hand into his jacket pocket, looking at me expectantly. I shrugged.
"I've got a couch."
They both looked at each other before laughing a little bit.
"As if we'd let you do that."
Duff said, shaking his head and dropping to sit on the ground.
"Well what would you rather I do?"
I asked between them. Duff took another drink.
"You can come stay with me for a bit. I've got plenty of room if youre comfortable sharing a king sized bed."
Izzy said with a wink and I laughed.
"Sure iz, cause who isn't?"
I said sarcastically.
"Then it's settled. As soon as we're done picking the rest of your shit up you're coming to stay with me. We can start shopping for your new bed tomorrow."
He said with a Stern nod. I opened and closed my mouth a few times before sighing in defeat.
"Fine."
I gave in.
"Good."
He said, stepping closer and draping his arm over my shoulder. The bed was almost done burning by now, springs and screws being the only things left in the scorched grass.
"Thanks again guys. It means a lot."
Duff raised the bottle in cheers to me.
"Anything for a friend."
He said taking a drink.
"Anything for you."
Izzy said back, looking down at me. I smiled a little myself, holding his hand that was around my shoulders.
"Come on, let me treat you two to some breakfast. I think weve all earned it."
Duff shot up excitedly, making me laugh.
"Can we please go to waffle house?"
He pleaded as we walked back inside. I laughed a little bit and nodded, grabbing my car keys and purse by the door.
"I think I can make that happen."
He fist pumped the air.
"Yes!".
I laughed as he bolted out of the house yelling "shotgun!" Izzy followed him slowly, looking back at me as I locked the door. They really knew how to make the best of a bad situation.
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I need to share my experience from a few hours ago (writing this at 2 am aug 24 2020) yesterday but first I'm going to slap a huge tw: abuse, Christianity/gay stuff, anxiety attacks, and yelling/screaming, transphobia/homophobia, self harm/cutting and a lot of cussing/swearing onto this. Like this is deeply religious and I'd rather not have discourse on my beliefs.
That should cover it...
Okay so it started out fine, my mom and i were just talking. She was drunk, and attempting to convince me that my asexuality meant that i was straight... But since she was drunk, I'mma give her that. There was a lot of aphobia but that's not what this is about She started telling me about her experience, and best i can describe it, she's a closeted demisexual biromantic lady with a preference for girls and a shit ton of internalized homophobia ("being sexually attracted to women's bodies more than men's doesn't make me lesbian, I'm still straight")
It was a mostly civil conversation, but it was adding onto my bad feelings from my dad the past several weeks making snide hurtful remarks about our religion and my sexuality and gender. Also using the f-slur against me when i had explained to him in the past how badly that word hurts me, to which he apologized profusely and said he'd never have used that word if he knew how it affected me. Obviously a lie, because he's still using it with full knowledge of the effects.
Back to my mom. She started getting into the religious side of it, but we managed to keep it civil, until the very end when she said she'd be praying for me and i said I'd be praying to help figure out who exactly i am, and she remarked "make sure you're praying to the right person" with a really threatening tone to her voice. At that point, i lost it, let her know that her saying that made me want to go back to cutting (in case she wasn't aware) and said that i needed a moment alone (or something along those lines, i was thrown head first into an anxiety attack and can't quite remember very well).
I ran upstairs as she tried to grab me and pull me back, but i managed to make it to my room. I went into a fetal position, because safe, but she came in and all i remember is her screaming repeating some question, i think, at me, me not being able to breathe, her hands squeezing my wrists way too tight, my wrist pinned to the carpet with her knee, the other with her hand as she tried to grab my jaw and force me to look at her.
Her touching me made the attack worse (hours later i still have marks and scratches) and i couldn't talk, think, or breathe. Somehow i was able to choke out repeated pleas for her to stop touching me because it was making everything worse. I don't know how long that lasted. But at some point she stopped grabbing me and just placed her hands on me and started praying in tongues. Like i was fucking demon possessed. Because i had an anxiety attack. Which my parents have been triggering in me for as long as i can remember.
I managed to sit up and get her to stop touching me, but she refused to be less than a foot away from me, even though i was going through a sensory overload and needed personal space. She finally trapped me into a corner of my room and put her arms on either side of me, one of them holding the door closed. She was screaming in my face and i was yelling over her, asking her to give me personal space and stop being so loud so that i could calm down, which she refused. I ended up very trapped and very uncomfortable and doing my best to not have another anxiety attack while replying to the most outlandish of her accusations, but mostly keeping my mouth shut in an attempt to get her to do the same.
She kept using my deadname, like usual, but it was worse for me for some reason at this point. I mentioned that and got yelled at more. I mentioned her pinning my wrists to the ground and got called a liar and she tried to make it so that i couldn't leave and grab a Kleenex until i admitted she was right and that i pinned myself to the ground (???). So i just started describing what i remembered until she got sick of it and let me go wipe my nose. She must have closed my door when she first came in. My dad (stepdad) was standing outside the door, eavesdropping, apparently.
I got a Kleenex but then my mom started yelling at me again, but i mostly just pretended to listen because i didn't want to have another anxiety attack. My dad started piping in and making me feel so much worse. He ended with saying "you're not a Christian. You don't believe in God. Even the devil believes in God." (Implying that I'm worse than the devil). At which point i started breaking down crying. And then i ran outside to have another anxiety attack but this time my mom just stood on the porch because the grass was wet and she was barefoot, but i curled up under the stars for who knows how long as i forced myself to do breathing techniques, and stim by rubbing the wet grass, which really helped ground me.
I went back inside when i was feeling better and got a drink of water and a Kleenex. And they started telling me how much they loved me and that i might not see it, but they were doing this out of love, because they were concerned for my eternity. I kept pointing out things they were doing that hurt me and better ways to do it (constructive criticism, so they know what's bad for me) and they repeatedly told me how much worse they could make it for me and that i should be glad they didn't make it worse. I pointed out that this didn't make their actions better and they said "doesn't make them wrong, either." Which ????? Victim blaming, abuse, what?
I brought up the times I've cried out to God for answers and the few times He's responded, (refusing my request for Him to kill me, telling me I'm not going to Hell for being gay/queer) bc they kept bringing up a few dubiously translated verses of the Bible and they told me that i was listening to the wrong person. That i was worshipping the wrong one. They heavily implied that i pray and worship the devil (disclaimer: i don't judge those who do, that's your life, I'm not gonna try and decide it for you, also i can admit that the church of Satan makes valid points and treats people right, from what I've seen, this is just a huge insult for them to throw at me specifically because of what I've been taught my whole life). Also invalidating my whole experience just because they don't like it.
They keep bringing up me being involved in the community (following queer people on social media, having one queer shirt, going to gsa-which they told me I'm not allowed to be a part of anymore-, having queer friends) as me seeking validation and attention, and that i shouldn't need validation and it shouldn't be about validation if I really think that this is who i am. Aka, because i am human and seek human things, i must be a total fake and fraud about all I've told them (very little). Meanwhile they do the exact same thing with their friends and social media and each other and everything.
My dad kept piping up with totally unrelated, totally unhelpful comments and tangents while my mom recited the same 5 min spiel for at least half an hour. My dad was saying how my grandparents aren't actually Christians because they agree with me that the world isn't black and white and there are some shades of gray, and because they believe once saved, always saved. That there is nothing you can do, as an imperfect human, to remove yourself from the infinite and unconscious love of God. (... I can't believe he fucking believes that humans have the ability to overrule God because it makes it easier for him to blame and condemn people he sees...)
These are the grandparents who have loved me regardless of my sexuality and gender, even tho they don't agree, and made me feel loved and gave me a place to go when i need to escape from my parents. They're the reason I'm keeping my mom's maiden name (since it hasn't been legally changed) because it's their last name, and it's them i want to honor, not my abusive shitty hateful stepdad. Unfortunately they are moving into assisted living because my papa is in a wheelchair, so i can't move in with them.
He ended that tangent with repeatedly telling me that i was not saved. That i was not a Christian. That i didn't believe in God. And that i was going to Hell. Repeatedly.
My mom made me hug her and made me tell her i love her. I ended up exercising to stop myself from becoming suicidal. I don't know if I'll tell anyone irl apart from the one irl friend i have on here. I'm not sure if I'm going to tell my therapist or not. I reached out to two of my christian friends after everything but they were both asleep. I needed to write this all down and put it somewhere public, just to be safe. I'm not safe in my own home and i can't move out because I'm a. Under 18 and b. Broke as hell
There was a lot more that happened, this lasted several hours, but i honestly can't remember all of the details besides what i typed out. Anyway so yeah i kinda wish i were dead but i also wanna stay alive for spite and show them that i can be a fabulous queer Christian and that the world is colorful, and you can't reduce that to monochrome and expect to have an even partially accurate view of the world. I want to help others like me, and help them feel better about myself.
I'm setting this as a queue so that if my parents take my phone away, they can't stop me from posting it (they have no clue how to look at queued posts) and also so that i can go to bed now and look at it again later and edit it
#tw abuse mention#blog post#tw yelling#tw transphobes#tw homophobes#tw cussing#tw cursing#tw swearing#tw anxiety attacks#tw christianity#tw self harm#tw cutting#rant tw#tw rant#long post
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BTS reaction to their s/o randomly summoning them (Hyung Line)
Warnings: fluff!! supernatural au, lil mentions of blood
Namjoon:
You were currently in your lounge munching on the green salad leaves as you were watching a random wildlife documentary that was playing on National Geographic. It came as a shock to nobody when the Angel of Nature fell in love with a human who also had an immense love and attachment with nature.
Your favourite past time with your boyfriend was watching documentaries or reading books regarding nature. Whenever one of you learned something new, you both shared it with each other imeediately so right now were immensely proud of your self control as you had been watching the documentary for almost 40 minutes now but you didn't once summon Namjoon. Despite the fact your whole body was itching to do that every minute or so.
“Ruggie land hermit crab also known as Coenobita Rugosus is found both inland and on coastal sandy shores, sand dunes and sand dune vegetation. They feed on detr-”
Hearing those words by the narrator were the last straw of your self control as you quickly summoned your boyfriend not wanting him to miss out the opportunity to see this.
“Baby is everything oka-”
“Joonie!” You jump up from the sofa and ran towards where Namjoon was standing and embraced him in a bear hug.
“I’m fine! I’m watching this documentary and they suddenly started talking about ruggie hermit crabs and you told me yesterday that you are really into hermit crabs these days so i couldn’t stop myself from summoning you.”
“If that’s the case, you should’ve summoned me sooner!” He said as he let out an excited laugh and made you cuddle with him as you both watched the remaining of the documentary together.
Seokjin:
Recently you had developed a sudden passion for cooking and had been trying new dishes every now and then. Today was Tuesday which meant that you would be making a savoury dish. Considering you had made kimchi two weeks ago you decided to make kimchi stew for dinner today.
You opened up YouTube on the TV that was placed in the kitchen in front of the counter. Most of the dishes you recently were able to learn was because of Youtube and the immense number of cooking videos they had. Clicking on the video of ‘How to make Kimchi Stew’ by your favourite Korean Youtuber, you got straight to work.
“First we need to cut the meat and kimchi into bite sizes. Slice the tofu about 1/2-inch thick, and then roughly chop the scallions.”
“Okay it’s chop chop time.” You grab your favourite red coloured knife from the magnetic knife holder and started cutting up the tofu. When you move into the meat, you glance up the clock to see what time it is and in amidst of all of that, you accidentally end up cutting your finger.
“Ouch!”
A tear rolled down your cheek at that sudden pain that bloomed in your finger. Blood was profusely seeping out of your index finger and you immediately grabbed a ton of napkins that were placed beside you and applied pressure on the wound. After a few minutes when the flow of the blood had stopped, you put up a bandage on the wound and again started on with the cooking.
“Now you have to wait for this to boil until the tofu is cooked through which is about 5 minutes. Then serve while bubbling over from the heat and you can pair with a bowl of hot sticky rice.”
The moment you tasted the stew, you knew you had to summon Jin and make him taste the dish also.
“What dish do I have the honour of tasting today?” The sweet voice of your handsome angel boyfriend called out as he walked over to you with an excited gleam in his eyes to taste the food you made.
“Kimchi stew! I used the kimchi that I made a few weeks to make this and Jinnie you have no idea on how good this tastes. I mean even I was shocked. I hope you like it because really my blood, sweat and tears went into making this.”
A smile graced Jin’s features as he softly ruffled with the curls that had escaped from the confinement of your bun and glanced down on your index number that was wrapped up in a bandage. He grabbed your hands and brought up your fingers to his lips so he could kiss the injured index finger.
“Baby of course it would taste delicious, after all you are an amazing cook and my favorite one at that.”
“Oh my god I feel so hounerd to be praise by the Kim Seokjin.”
“Oh hush it”
An easy laughter fell in between the both you as you guys ate the kimchi stew you made.
Yoongi:
You groaned as you were lying face first in your bed while snuggling in the plushies that were all around you. Your period had just started a few hours and you were experiencing the worst cramps ever. The cramps were always the worst on the first day. A tear rolled down your cheek as another cramp hit you and made you curl up in your bed even more. Not being able to handle the pain anymore as you craved the warmth and comfort of your angel boyfriend, you immediately summoned Yoongi.
“Y/N are you okay?” A whimper made its way through your lips as you looked up with your tear stricken and swollen face to find your boyfriend leaning in the doorway of your shared bedroom. You slowly shook your head sideways as more tears rolled their way down your cheeks.
Panic evident on Yoongi’s features he immediately walked over to you as he encased your small hand in his large ones. “What happened? Are you hurt?”
“Its just my tummy. It really hurts.”
“Did you eat something weird after I left? You were fine in the morning.”
“No m-my period started a few hours ago and its hurts really bad.”
His face suddenly softened and lips turned up in a half smile. “Ah well if that is the case, do you want me to make you some hot chocolate?”
Nod.
“And wanna watch some sappy romance movie?”
Nod.
“And do you want to... perhaps cuddle?”
“Of course!”
Hoseok:
“Rose, listen to me. Listen. Winning that ticket was the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“It brought me to you. And I'm thankful, Rose. I'm thankful.”
“You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise.”
“I promise.”
“Never let go.”
“I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go.”
Tears were rolling down your cheeks as you were contemplating your decision to watch the movie alone on a Friday night. You always watched this movie with Hoseok by your side so whenever you ended up crying he was the one who was kissing your tears away.
Another sob wrecked through your body and you wanted nothing more than your boyfriend hold you and kiss your tears away.
“Baby you okay?”
“H-hobi, can you please hug me?”
Hoseok’s gaze drifted towards to the tv, when he saw the movie that was being played and the steady stream of tears that were flowing their way down your cheeks, it didn't take long for him to connect the two dots together.
“Aww love, come here.” Hoseok walked over and sat next to you on the sofa you were sitting on. He grabbed your legs and placed them in such a way that you were almost sitting on his lap.
His hand came up and rested on your cheek, his thumb brushing away the tears that were resting there.
“I thought that I’ve watched this movie so many times so I wont cry now but I still cried like a baby. Gosh this is embrassing.”
“Oh no no, its ok. I like this side you. I love on how expressive you are with your emotions. It always makes me realize on how it is be a human.”
“Hobi you flatter me so much.” You say with a smile on you face.
Hoseok offered you a warm smile as leaned forward and kissed your forehead, “Only for you.”
#bts x reader#bts imagines#bts reactions#bts supernatural au#namjoon x you#namjoon x reader#seokjin x reader#jin x reader#yoongi x reader#bts fluff#bts jin#hoseok x reader#rm x you#suga x reader#jhope x reader#bts fanfic#bts fic#bts hyung line#bts angel au
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We’ve Got Tonight
A/N: WOW ok so I think this is one of it not my favorite fic I’ve ever written especially with the brain of @absolutetosh fueling me with lethal headcannons so this is all thanks to her. We were talking about how I’ve never really read any marriage fics because Mulder and Scully are super unconventional and I never felt the need for them to get married BUT THEN WOW WE WENT ON A BRAINSTORMING SESSION and this is what happened.
Summary - Mulder and Scully elope? around IWTB/ post IWTB era and its super fucking cute and I’m sorry i don’t know what else to say. It’s fluff.
Their bed sits in the middle of the room with a nightstand on either side. Hers has stack of books on it, some are medical and some are her favorite classics including her old worn out copy of Breakfast at Tiffany’s. On his side, there’s an array of things he takes out of his pockets everyday and a few wallet sized pictures of him and Scully. The lamp on her side creates a soft glow against the moonlight beaming down on them.
His hands cup her breasts as she moves up and down, both of them becoming one like the many times they have before. He loves the feel of her, how warm and surreal she feels. It’s like coming home for him and she’s really the only ever home he’s ever cared about. She reaches for his hands and entwines their fingers as she rides him. Her hair falls forward and frames her face as she looks him in the eyes. He feels her pulse around him as the waves she’s riding spill over. He quickly follows as she slows her rhythm, still clenching his hands.
She stays there for a minute after, catching her breath, telling him with her eyes everything he already knows. He looks up at her and says something he’s surprised hadn’t slipped out sooner.
“Marry me.” He smiles.
“Mulderrrr.” She says, breathlessly as she cups his face in her hands and kisses him.
“I’m serious. I know you don’t do big ceremonies or anything but we could just go down to the justice of the peace or something.
“Mulder,” she says in barely a whisper “we don’t need to get married. We’ve been together for 15 years.”
“Just think about it.” he winks at her and she rolls her eyes.”
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When she comes home from work the next day, she slouches her bag off her shoulder and sets it on the couch. He walks over and stands behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and kisses her neck. He breathes her in as she turns around to face him.
“What do you feel like for dinner?” He asks her.
“I don’t really know. We really don’t have anything in the fridge. Do you want to get delivery?”
“Nah, I’m kind of sick of pizza.”
“Me too. Do you...maybe want to check out that bar a few streets down? I’ve heard good things and I could go for some wings or something.”
“A girl after my own heart.”
When they walk into the bar, there is a band playing and people dancing on the small, scuffed up panelled flooring that probably served as something other than a dance floor in previous years. Couples are holding each other and holding each others drinks as they mingled with their friends..
“Wow, who knew this town had such nightlife?” Mulder says, smiling at Scully.
“Mulder this is fine. Let’s grab a place to sit, I’m starving.”
“Hmm I wonder what drained all your energy…” he says and she slaps him across the arm with her jacket.
They sat at the bar and ordered a couple rounds of drinks while they ate their wings.
“This band is pretty good.” Scully says, turning her barstool around to watch them. She puts her arm on Mulder’s shoulder and he turns to her. Her face is flushed and her eyes are fixed on his. “Do you wanna dance?”
“Dana Katherine Scully who knew you were such a romantic?”
“Shut up Mulder.” She hops off the barstool and takes his hand and leads him onto the dancefloor. It’s cramped between the other couples all at varying degrees of drunkenness but they find a spot just as the next song starts. The singer of the band starts with the first lyrics of “We’ve Got Tonight” and they begin to slow dance. She rests her head on his chest and he rests his chin on her and they sway back and forth as if there’s no one else around them.
We’ve got tonight
Who needs tomorrow
We’ve got tonight, babe
Why don’t you stay
Scully looks up at him, her cheeks still pink from the few glasses of wine she had. She’s eyeing him like she’s trying to get him to know what she’s thinking. After all these years, sometimes her face was still an enigma to him.
“You look like you’re plotting something.” he says looking at her and brushing a piece of stray hair behind her ear.
“Oh I’m the suspicious one, am I?” she jokes.
He laughs “No for real, what are you thinking.”
“I was just thinking...what if we go do that thing you mentioned yesterday?”
He opens his mouth to form the word “what” but before he can speak, he realizes what she means.
“You mean right now?”
“Right now.”
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They get in the car and start driving to the town hall.
“Mulder, what time is it? Is there even going to be anyone there?”
He looks down at his watch. “It’s 7:00”
She looks down at her hands in her lap, “Dammit.”
Mulder reached into the console and takes out his cell phone and starts dialing.
“Mulder, what are you doing?”
He holds up his finger to tell her to hold on for a minute and she watches him, somewhat intrigued and somewhat impatient to find out what he’ll get them into.
“Hey, Daniel? Hi, it’s me, Fox Mulder. Hey uhhh I was just wondering if you’re still at the town hall? I need you to do us a favor...Oh great!...Perfect thank you so much, we’ll be there in about 15 minutes.” He hangs up the phone and puts the car in drive.
“Mulder, what was that about? Who-”
“Well I know a guy down at the town hall, he helped me a few years ago with some paperwork with the house. And uh…” He pauses, smiling to himself.
“And what?”
“And uhh...well…somehow or another we got onto the subject of you and he told me he could do me a favor one day if you...if you said yes.”
“Mulder.” The way she says his name sounds more like an exhale. He can hear the disbelief and happiness in her voice at the same time. “You’ve been planning this for years?”
“Well, I knew we never really needed to get married. And I knew that if we ever did, we would just elope. So I figured I’d ask you someday. And Daniel said he’d help if he could.”
“Mulder I can’t believe it.” She tries to suppress her smile but she can’t stop it from spreading ear to ear.
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It seems like forever until they get to the town hall. They knock on the door and Daniel opens it. They fill out some paperwork and are ushered into another room. It takes a lot less time to get married than she thought. It seemed very procedural - perfectly fitting for Scully.
As they walk out the door, they stop and turn to look at each other.
“We’re married.” Mulder says, caressing her cheek.
“We’re married.” She repeats as she shrugs her shoulders and scrunches her nose in the wide, mischievous Scully smile that he’s now deemed his favorite of all.
He leans in and kisses her before the walk down the steps to the building. “Almost forgot to kiss the bride.”
She rolls his eyes at him but he knows she’s loving every minute of it.
“My feet are starting to hurt Mulder, let’s get home. Maybe it was all that dancing.” she winks.
“Oh, allow me.” He says as he swoops her off her feet and carries her down the steps.
“Mulderrrr” she protests. “You don’t have to, you can put me down.”
“Sorry, this is the only way I’ll be able to carry you tonight because I know you won’t let me carry you over the threshold.”
She shakes her head at him and relaxes in his arms. “You’re right, Mulder, too cheesy.”
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It doesn’t take long for them to get into bed. They lay on their sides, facing each other. Mulder brushes her hair out of her face as she starts to fall asleep. She closes her eyes and listens to their peaceful silence.
After a few minutes, when he thinks she’s asleep he starts to whisper to her. “Scully, my life has never been the same since you walked into it. I love every single inch of you and every firing neuron in your incredibly intelligent and loving brain.” She’s listening to him with her eyes closed and she has to stop herself from smiling at what he’s saying. “I can’t believe that you’ve given me the honor of being your husband. I promise that I will love you every minute as much as I love you right now - like a man who’s breathing his last breath. I promise to be there for you in sickness and in health, to hold you and keep you safe from any darkness that comes our way. Thank you for everything that you’ve given me. I owe everything good in my life to you and for that I will be forever grateful.” He leans forward and kisses her on the forehead, still thinking she’s asleep. “I love you.”
#text#fic#fanfic#fanfiction#mine#the x files#txf#msr#mulder and scully#i want to believe#iwtb#dana scully#fox mulder#marriage fic#marriage#fluff
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