in light of recent events
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doctor: good news mr kelly, your top surgery was successful
charlie: where's dennis?
doctor: who do you think took your tits?
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crosshair drabble cause that man has taken over my thoughts
- crosshair is the type of guy to literally act like your bodyguard. you wanna go on a mission by yourself? funny.
“I’ll be back in a few hours.”
He picks up his helmet, “That’s nice. I’ll meet you on the ship.”
- will absolutely pick you up and throw you over his shoulder whenever you give him attitude.
“roll your eyes again, pretty.”
so you did. the two of you had gotten a little agitated with each other on this particular mission.
he sighs and flicks his toothpick to the ground.
you see his hands reach for your waist, “what are you-“, you cut off with a yelp as he throws you over his shoulder.
“I’ll put you down when you’re done with that attitude.”
“I’m gonna kill you.”
he pats the area behind your knee, “how touching.”
- LOVES to pull you into a random alcove of the marauder and kiss you like the ship is going down. any minute he can get alone with you is a blessing. idc what anyone says, this man is a gentle kisser. the kind to put his hand on the back of your head to keep you in place UGH!!!
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i cannot articulate the way i feel with words so i made this meme
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Based on this
Edit: the original image is also in the read more
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Been playing a lot of Undead Siege on CoD Mobile lately so uhhhhhh I offer you this
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yknow what? fuck you *curses you forever to sleep on a twin sized mattress, in somebody's attic or basement your whole life, never graduating up in size to add another, and your nightmares will have nightmares every night*
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*out on patrol*
Jason: Hey bro, can I get a sip of that water?
Tim, sipping from a waterbottle: It's not water.
Jason: Vodka! I like your style!
Tim: It's vinegar.
Jason: Wha-
Tim: It's vinegar. Pussy.
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The average talk at McCoy's and Kirk's drinking sessions.
(thinking of turning this into a silly one shot of McSpirk)
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