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katyasrussianaccent · 3 years

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you’re so golden (corpse x reader)

Summary: You’re a faceless youtuber that sings cover songs. What happens when a certain faceless streamer slides into your DMs after you cover one of his songs?

Authors note: Part 3 whoop! I havent written fic in 3 years so Im hoping this is okay. Its about 4000 words, super long, sorry. I also dont play Among Us, but hopefully its not too obvious. Lemme know what you think!

You're nervous, though you aren’t quite sure why. The kind of nervousness that spreads to your feet, causing you to tap your toes against the side of your sofa.

Call you in 15.

You look at the message again, staring at it till the screen goes blurry. Rubbing your eyes you exhale into the emptiness of your apartment; a feeble attempt at calming yourself down.

Logically it’s stupid to be nervous over a phone call. Logically you know that in the grand scheme of the universe, there are bigger things at hand. But you’re not a logical person, never have been. You’re all heart and emotion, both a blessing and a curse. There’s something intimate about a phone call, to have nothing but someone’s voice on the other end of the phone, talking to you and only you. It was a little scary; to think your purely online friendship with Corpse was going to be taken to a different level. You’re excited to think what that could mean.

“Fucking get it together,” you mutter to no-one as you exhale again, because there’s nothing else to do other than to wait and try to breath. There’s this frantic energy about you; like when you eat fizzy sweets, the flavour buzzing on your tongue. Your ancestors used to hunt wolves and here you were nervous over a single phone call.

The silence in your apartment’s too much now; too noisy. You grab your TV remote, clicking onto Spotify to find something. You’re scrolling so much, none of the artists feeling quite right for the moment before settling on Sufjan Stevens.

The dulcet tones fill the space, and for a brief second, you feel fine. You’re feeling relaxed and then your phone lights up.

Incoming Facetime Audio

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck” you say. Your face feels warm, your heart quickens in your chest. You could just ignore it, say you’re not feeling too good and that would be that, you wouldn’t have to do this. But it’s Corpse, you like Corpse and you’re kind of friends.

You swipe to accept the call, and press the button for speaker.

“Hey,” you say, cringing at the meek tone your voice has taken on.

“Hey,” Corpse’s deep voice rumbles through your tiny speaker, distorting slightly and you press the volume button to turn it down a little.

There’s a beat of silence, a beat too long, and you already hate how awkward this is. You’re not great at social stuff, the concept of being a social butterfly is almost foreign to you. And it’s not because you dislike people, it’s just you hate this; the small talk, the awkwardness before you get comfortable and can hold an actual conversation.

You suddenly remember a tip from your customer service days. “How are you?” you ask, plastering on a grin so wide that it must look borderline demented. Thank god you’re single.

“I’m okay thanks, how are you?” he asks.

You lounge back against the soft cushions of the sofa, lifting the phone up to your mouth as you do so. “I’m good, excited to be taught by the Among Us master.”

He snorts in disdain. “Hardly a master.”

You chew your lip before you speak again, “I dunno, people on the internet think you’re pretty good.”

He snorts again, and you smile at the sound. It’s not something you’ve heard from him before, through your hours of watching his streams, you’ve become accustomed to his voice and the noises he makes. But this one seems to be new. And maybe it’s the weird, selfish part of you that likes to think he’s only ever made that sound for you. You shake the thought out of your head, because really? Getting happy over a snort is really such a ridiculous thing to do.

“People on the internet say a lot of things.”

“True, but sometimes they speak the truth,” you reply, moving to get more comfortable; tucking your feet under your thighs. You wonder what he’s doing right now as he talks to you, is he sitting down? Or is he lying on his bed; his head propped up with pillows? There’s a brief flash of yearning, of wanting to be there in the same room as him, but it disappears as quickly as it appeared so you ignore it.

“Hm. We’ll agree to disagree.”

“Okay, you’re the boss Mr Husband.”

He chuckles softly, and again, you smile. You can feel yourself getting annoyed with yourself; you’re acting like a child with a crush; smiling at the phone. All you needed now was a notebook that had Mrs YN Husband written all over it.

“You know if you keep calling me that, we’re gonna have to get married,” he says, his voice a little lower than it was before. You blink and cock your head to the side, looking at an imaginary camera like you’re in The Office. Did you say that out loud? Is he...flirting with you? Sure, you’re flirty over Twitter, but it’s Twitter, Twitter isn’t real. There’s a fluttery feeling in your stomach at the mere prospect that he might actually be flirting with you.

“I’d be the best wife you could ever get,” you shoot back. There’s a brief second of silence before he answers, and you can hear shuffling on the other end. You want to ask what he’s doing, but you know it would break the conversation, and you’re curious to see where this goes.

“Oh really? And why’s that?” he asks, and you can picture the smirk in his voice. You have no idea what he looks like, no real care about it either, but you bet he’s got a beautiful smile. You bite your tongue before it tells him this, for once your brain actually works and stops you from making a fool out of yourself. It’s incredibly strange, how quickly he puts you at ease without a try, he’s just so naturally comforting. He’s not this flashy persona, he’s just a guy who likes to play video games and happens to be kinda good at them. And also has a voice that is literally like chocolate. Not just chocolate; dark chocolate. If dark chocolate could talk, it would sound like Corpse.

“Cos your girl can cook,” you say proudly, puffing out your chest a little. And that’s not a lie, you can cook. Okay, you’re not a Michelin starred chef, but you feel quite confident in the fact that Gordon Ramsey could eat your food, and probably (hopefully) wouldn’t scream that it was “fucking raw”.

“And what would you cook for me?” he asks.

You hum in thought for a second. “You’ll have to marry me first to find that out.”

He laughs, a proper laugh that settles in your stomach, spreading warmth through your chest. “I’ll think about it. I can hear music, what are you listening to?”

You straighten up a little, the question catching you off guard. You bite the inside of your cheek as you look at the song that’s playing. It’s not his type of music, you’re almost positive about that. You almost don’t want to tell him out of embarrassment. You’re not sure why you feel embarrassed; you know Corpse isn’t an asshole, he wouldn’t make fun of you. But music is so personal to you, so personal, it’s like baring a piece of your soul; which sounds so fucking cliche, but it’s true.

“Uhhh...It’s called Make out in My Car by Sufjan Stevens,” you reply.

He hums in affirmation. “It sounds nice; from what I can hear.”

“I can turn it up?” you ask, leaning forward to grab the remote off the coffee table.

“You could always sing some for me,” he offers.

You laugh a little, scrunching up your nose. “And why would I do that?”

“I thought you wanted to get married. You have to woo me,” he replies.

“Woo you?” you ask, your tone incredulous. This isn’t how you pictured the conversation going.

“Yeah. Woo me, yn.” he says, dragging out the “o” causing you to laugh again.

You sigh dramatically. “I haven’t warmed up or anything, it’s gonna sound so bad” you warn as you put the song to the beginning.

“I’m sure you sound great. Go ahead, woo me.”

You shake your head as you softly sing. “I'm not trying to go to bed with you, I just wanna make out in my car. And though I'm dying to fall in love with you, I just wanna make out in my car”. You stop and you’re suddenly very aware that you have essentially just serenaded him. Good going, brain.

It’s silent for a beat too long, and the smile that graced your lips starts to fade as the embarrassment starts to set in.

“Well now we definitely have to get married,” he affirms. And there’s that fluttery feeling again.

You swallow, moving the conversation swiftly onto Among Us. You grab your laptop that was next to you, humming in acknowledgement as he walks you through downloading it.

“So there’s a few of us joining us tonight, it should be really fun.”

“Oh. It’s not just us two?” you ask. You focus on the download, watching the number increase. You’re nervous at the prospect of playing with other people, strangers, for the first time.

“No, it’s a 4 player minimum. We’re going to stream as well.”

“Corpse…” you start. You begin to pick at the skin around your nails, a habit you do whenever you get really anxious. This was meant to just be a cute moment where you learnt how to play a game, not a big event where people would be actually watching you, judging your every move.

“We’re going to do a few games off stream with you, you don’t need to be there for the stream after if you don’t want to,” he interrupts.

“Okay,” you trail off, your teeth biting down on your bottom lip. You feel a little better, but not by much. You didn’t know who the other people were, what if they hated you? You ask this out loud.

“I’ll be there. You know Rae and Sykkuno. Felix, Sean and Toast will be there but they’re super nice, I promise.” His voice is sincere, and it soothes you. You don’t know him, not really know him, but you trust Corpse. You know he has his own struggles, and you believe his promise; he wouldn’t screw you over or put you in a situation you were uncomfortable with.

The rest of the call is him taking you through how to play and how to set up something called Proximity Chat so everyone can talk to each other in the game. He says it’s easier once you actually play, and it doesn’t sound particularly hard quite honestly, you just hope you don’t get imposter on the first try because you’re not the greatest liar.

The game screen pops up, and you type in the code that Corpse gives you. You say goodbye to Corpse, who tells you to text him if you need any help. You drop into the game lobby, and you look at the little astronaut. There’s no time to dwell as a cacophony of voices hits you.

“YN!” Rae screeches and you chuckle at her enthusiasm. You’ve known Rae for a few years now, you met at college and had become fast friends. Though you had many different interests - gaming for one, you considered her your best friend. Rae was the type of friend where you didn’t need to talk every single day, you could message her a week later and it would be like no time had passed at all. And you loved that, sometimes you just didn’t want to talk to anyone. Sometimes your mood wasn’t the best, and you needed a little time to recharge. And she understood that, something that you were eternally grateful for.

“Raebies!” you screech back, using your “pet” name for her.

“I’ve been trying to get you to play forever. But Mr Smooth Operator over there slides into your DMs and suddenly you’re a gamer now?”

“It sounds so sordid when you say it like that,” you reply.

“Hi yn! Glad to see you playing with us,” Sykkuno says. You greet him and the others, making sure to say hi to everyone in the game. You didn’t want to start off by being accidentally rude. You listen as everyone talks amongst each other, and you talk when spoken to, but you aren’t interjecting. It wasn’t anything against the other players, it was just a little overwhelming, and you were figuring out what everyone was like.

“Hello,” Corpse’s voice interrupts your train of thought and you greet him along with everyone else.

“Aw, I wanted purple,” you say, frowning at Corpse’s name above the astronaut.

“We can switch,” he replies.

“No it’s o -” you start to speak before you realise he’s already switched to white. “Thank you, you didn’t have to.” You smile as you switch to purple, and you decide to add a flower for a little pizzazz.

“It’s your first game, I’ll kill you if I get imposter so it’ll even out,” he jokes and everyone laughs. The countdown begins and you puff your cheeks out, exhaling as it gets to 1. You’re nervous again, a seemingly common theme of the night. Your shoulders relax as the word CREWMATE flashes across the screen.

You watch as everyone but Corpse disperses from the cafeteria with haste, and you look at the keyboard to press the buttons to move.

“You ever see an old person text? That’s how I’m picturing you right now,” Corpse says as you walk together to Weapons.

“Shut up Sonny,” you reply in your best old woman voice, getting a laugh. You open up the task, shooting the Asteroids with ease. “Yay, I completed a task!”

“Good job,” Corpse replies, and you beam at the praise. You move down to o2, doing your task while Corpse does his.

“Wait, you could be imposter right? How would I know?” you ask as you walk together to Navigation.

“You wouldn’t, you just have to trust me,” he says, his voice full of charm.

You scowl. “Well that just makes me not want to trust you.”

Before he replies, there’s a blaring alarm. DEAD BODY REPORTED. You blink at the suddenness; you were really enjoying the relaxing pace of the game. You look at the screen; Felix has been killed.

“Who found the body?” Corpse asks.

“I did,” Rae answers. “I was in admin, and was going to lower engine and it was there in storage.”

“If you were in admin, why didn’t you go up through Cafeteria?” Toast asks.

“Because it’s quicker to go through storage,” Rae replies. They argue between themselves, and you listen intently and silently. It’s a lot of information, you can’t tell whose lying, but you guess that’s what makes a good player.

“Where were you yn?” Sean quizzes, and it takes you a second to realise you’re being spoken to.

“Oh. I was in um o2?”

“You don’t sound too sure there, pretty sus,” he says. Your face heats up a little, you’re not the imposter, but it feels like you are.

“She was in o2 and then we went to Navigation,” Corpse answers, and you breathe out as he takes on the interrogation.

“Oh you were together?” Rae asks, and you know that tone she’s got. It’s the tone that says she’ll be messaging you right away.

“Well yeah, it’s her first game, I’m not gonna leave her alone,” he says and you smile at that.

“Yeah we’ve been together the whole time,” you add and it’s left at that. No-one votes anyone out, since no-ones really too suspicious. You carry on the game, and you find yourself really enjoying it, though the questioning part is kind of stressful. You can see why Corpse likes it so much, it’s really fun. You’re in electrical, humming as you do your task when Rae comes next to you.

“Hey,” you greet her.

“I’m sorry, nothing personal,” she replies. Before you have a chance to say a word, she kills you and you look on in shock as your ghost floats above your body. You listen into the meeting as Rae continues to lie and plead her case. She’s good, but Corpse knows better.

“Wait, you said you found her in electrical and you were where?”

“I was in Upper Engine, and then I went to electrical to do my task,” Rae answers, her voice even and calm.

“I was in Lower Engine, and I didn’t see you,” Corpse says, and you grin at the fact Rae’s been found out. That’s what she gets for killing you.

“You were doing your task, I passed right by you,” Rae starts. She pleads her case, but it’s too late and she’s voted out.

“That was so much fun!” you declare. “I can see why you guys play it all the time.”

“Yes! We have converted another!” Felix shouts in victory.

“And all it took was Corpse,” Rae mutters sarcastically.

“Don’t get bitter Rachel, just get better,” you reply, causing the group to laugh.

You get the hang of it after a few games, and find yourself agreeing to stay while the others stream, though you decide against it yourself. You’ve only streamed once by yourself, and it was a very casual affair and you don’t want to feel too much pressure while you enjoy yourself. You know that Corpse gets nervous when he streams and he’s been doing it for so much longer, so you can only imagine how nervous you would be.

You tap your fingernails against the keyboard as the lobby counts down, any previous nerves have been replaced with excitement.

IMPOSTER flashes across. You’re the only one, your astronaut looks lonely on the screen by itself, and the red letters almost taunt you.

“Shit,” you mutter as your brain goes into overdrive. What was it Corpse had said before? Not to be too obvious. You don’t kill immediately, instead going at your previous pace to not look too suspicious. You were still fairly new to the game, and you were going to use that to your advantage.

You fake your task in Cafeteria before venting over to Navigation where Toast was.

“Hi Toast!” you greet, coming to stand next to him as you pretend you’re doing the task.

“Oh hey yn,” he says. It doesn’t seem like he suspects you, and you’re not quite sure when to click the Kill button. You do it anyway before running out and going down and into shields. There’s adrenaline running through you as the dead body’s reported and you crack your knuckles before putting on your game face. You were going to play dumb, play the confused newbie - because to them, that’s what you were.

“YN, where were you?” Corpse asks. Fuck. Maybe you weren’t going to get away with this.

You twiddle your hair as you draw out your words, playing the role perfectly. “Uhm I was in...shields? I think that’s what it’s called. I was in the cafeteria before that though.”

“Wait, you couldn’t have, I was in weapons. I would have seen you,” Sykkuno says.

You open your mouth to talk. “She could have vented,” Felix comments, and the rest of the group starts to agree.

“Guys, I don’t even know what venting is. I literally just started playing,” you point out, giggling.

“That’s true,” Rae agrees and you knew there was a reason you loved her.

“Bullshit! She’s playing you with her “oh I don’t know how to play” schtick,” Felix proclaims.

“Aw, that’s kind of rude, Felix. I’m just enjoying the game, doing the tasks,” you say, pouting a little. He’s the next on your list.

Everyone skips the vote and you lean over your laptop, ready for the next round. You were going to win this. You kill Rae and Toast next, and yet again, manage to worm your way out of any suspicion. You can sense that Corpse and Felix are starting to get suspicious of you, and you know you need to bring out the big guns to throw them off.

You catch Sykkuno in Med Bay after checking the cams in Security.

“Hi yn!” he greets, and you almost feel guilty as you kill him. He’s so sweet and innocent, but unfortunately, casualties are a given. You pass Felix as he comes out of reactor and it’s only a matter of time before you’ll have to talk your way out of this one again.

“I passed yn as I came out of reactor,” Felix shouts with a hint of glee.

You roll your eyes; this is going to be tough. “Yeah I came from Upper Engine, I was finishing part 2 of a task.”

“I was in Electrical, where was the body?” Corpse asks.

“Med Bay. And the only one that could’ve been there was yn,” Felix starts.

“Well no, you could have passed me and killed Sykkuno then self reported,” you reply. “I think you can do that right?”

Corpse hums in agreement. “Oh come on! She’s being really sus,” Felix argues.

“You are being a little sus yn,” Corpse comments.

“Corpse. You don’t really think it’s me do you?” You decide to lower your voice a little, your tone sweet but sultry. “You only taught me like an hour ago, there’s no way I’d be able to fool everybody so quickly.” You get close to the mic so it’s like you’re speaking only to Corpse. “Remember what I said? You’re a master at this.” You’re laying it on thick, and for a brief second you think you’ve been too over the top.

“This is difficult,” Corpse says, and you see the seconds count down, your heartbeat starts to quicken.

“Corpse, stop being a fucking simp and vote her out!” Felix demands.

“Corpsie baby,” you drawl out and you smile in success as you hear him sigh, almost shakily. You’ve got this in the bag. The victory screen flashes up and you cheer.

“Fuck yeah!” you shout, patting yourself on the back. You laugh as you exhale the breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“Good game yn!” Sykkuno comments, the others agreeing.

“Not fair, you used your womanly wiles against Corpse,” Felix says.

“Gotta use them for something. Not my fault Corpse knows where his allegiance lies,” you reply laughing a little.

You stretch, your back crying out in pain from being hunched over so long. You let out a long, loud moan of relief as you straighten your spine, your shoulders relaxing as you move from side to side.

“Your mic’s not muted” Corpse points out, clearing his throat. You feel your stomach drop and your face instantly becomes hot. Shit.

“Oh. Uh. I totally forgot about that,” you say, forcing out a chuckle. You screw your eyes shut, any happiness has been now replaced by red hot shame. “So this was fun, uh, really fun, but um, I’m gonna, I’m gonna go. So...yeah. Bye guys, have fun!”

You click to exit without giving anyone a chance to say a word, and drop your head into your hands.

“Can’t wait to see what they say on Twitter about this,” you mutter into your hands.

TAGLIST (if youre bold, it wont let me tag): @teenageguitarist @fanworrior @cherry-piee @mirahg @clara-bee @cookinglovingalien @vir-tual @clubfairy @youretheonlyonewhomakesme @more-like-reyna @boiled-onionrings @moneybagmgk @brendalopez99 @delicateavenuenacho @dreamsofficialwife @hydrate-tion @little-red02

#my fic #corpse husband x reader #corpse #corpse husband #corpse husband/reader #corpse husband fic #corpse husband x yn #corpse x you #corpse husband x you #corpse x fem reader #corpse x reader #corpse fic #corpse smau #corpse imagine

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kireimarkeu · 3 years

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We got Married!; mk.l

[johnny]

character: oc x husband!mark lee

summary; where you and mark join a television show as husband and wife.

genre; fluff!

word count: 5.6k

a/n; i wasn’t really planning to write a wgm ver for mark, but i had so much ideas suddenly come to me so here it is :) i think i’ve grown and has written different kinds of fics, and i feel really confident in this one! i think you can see the difference if you read the johnny one compared to this hehe :) i really hope you guys like this because i reallyyyy did!!!

also, thank you guys for 500 followers! i havent done much but repost old works, but still got followers lmfaooo

also a little note: bold + italic means mark is in the studio watching the show together

italic means questions are being asked to y/n and mark in the interview area

enjoy you guys :)

Episode 22

“Hello, I am NCT Mark and I am 22 years old,” a smile adorns his lips as the boy next to you bow at the camera.

“Hello, I am Mark’s wife, Y/N, and I am 21 years old,” you greet, bowing politely at the camera.

“This is the first time we have very young guests coming to our show,” one of them said.

“I think many fans are wondering why you had gotten married at such a young age?” one asked.

Another continued, “yeah, I don’t think it’s common in Korea,” they said, “I heard that Mark used to live in Canada for some time, is it common to get married at such a young age, there?”

Mark chuckles, shaking his head, “No, no, we both decided to get married young because we have always talked about spending our 20s together.”

“How long have the both of you been married?”

Mark looks at you before answering, “We got married just a few months ago, actually.”

“To be exact, it has been about 4 months now,” you continued.

“How long did you guys date?”

“We dated for about 3 years, before we both decided that we wanted to get married straight away,” your husband answers.

“Wait, 3 years? But the news of you guys dating came out a year ago, though?”

“We dated secretly~” Mark replied shyly.

“You guys are the youngest couple to be on our show, has anyone been opposed to the idea of you guys getting married at such a young age?”

Your hand lands on your husbands shoulders, “to start, of course we received a lot of hate comments online when the news came out, but we knew this was what we wanted, so we never really doubted for a second.”

Mark agrees with your words, “yeah, our parents were also a little skeptical by our plans but we were adults and had explained clearly why we wanted to get married at such a young age.”

You hum along with Mark’s words.

“Tell us honestly, was it hard dating someone when you are one of the biggest boy group in Korea?” one of them asked Mark.

Mark though for a moment, he wasn’t sure if he should spill out the truth or just butter everything up. “Well, of course it was. I knew what I was getting into and so did Y/N,” he says, “and as expected we knew that if we get caught, there would be tons of comments about us.”

“How did you overcome the mean comments?”

“Of course, we had both shared tears because of those comments, but we promised to never leave each other because of what others think.”

The scene started with the both of you eating breakfast at the dinner table.

The casts of We Got Married started laughing at the sight of Mark’s bed head.

“You know, we really need to go grocery shopping,” you tell your husband who was sitting before you.

He hums, “we’ll go this afternoon, I need to get some things too,”

You swallow your food, “what things, babe?”

“Doyoungie’s birthday is just around the corner, and I wanna bake him a cake,” he tells you.

You squint your eyes at the boy, “bake? Are you sure you won’t burn down our kitchen?”

He rolls his eyes at your words, “I’m a grown up, babe, I definitely know how to bake,”

“Didn’t Mark went trending for a while when he cooked eggs?” the members laugh.

“I remember that!”

.•° ✿ °•.

The scene changed to the both of you in the grocery store. You were searching for ingredients that you had written down in your phone.

You would often forget items, so before you leave the house, you would type down all the things you would need in your phone.

Mark on the other hand, would get food on impulse- mostly snacks and instant food. You don’t mind, but space is limited, every time your husband joins you, he would overspend and in the end, you wouldn’t have space to keep all the extra food.

“Baby, you know we don’t need all these,” you sigh tiredly, your hand gesturing to the different types of chips laying in the cart. “Just pick one, honey, we can’t have everything from the store,” you say exasperatedly.

Mark pouts at you but quickly removes most of the chips until there was 2 left. You decided to close an eye since you saw one of the new chips that you had been dying to try out.

“Have you gotten the ingredients for the cake?”

Mark raises his eyebrows at your words, his hands digging through the pile of food in the cart before pulling out a box of cake mix.

Episode 27

“Let’s welcome the couple who has received good remarks after coming to our show!” one of them said, followed by a series of claps.

“Wah~ I really did not expect to receive so much nice comments,” Mark says with his hands placed on his chest, “Thank you so much everyone, y/n and I spent the whole night reading all of your comments.”

“Actually, I’m curious,” one of them quickly adds in, “how did the baking go for your member’s birthday?”

“I ended up burning the cake, so Y/N helped me from scratch,” he says sheepishly.

The casts laugh in unison.

“Did Doyoung know?”

Mark shakes his head, “I lied and told him that I was the one who made the cake, but he didn’t believed me, so I ended up telling him the truth,” Mark says, flustered.

The scene started with the both of you walking in the park. Strings of coos left the casts lips when they saw you wearing a dress with your hair braided to one side.

With squinted eyes, the both of you tried to find a good shaded spot in the park before putting down a disposable picnic mat, placing each of your shoes on each corner to prevent it from flying around.

You place the picnic basket in the middle of the mat while Mark took a seat, enjoying the view. You took out all the food that you had prepared a few hours prior.

“Do you need help, babe?” you hear your husband ask from beside you.

You shake your head, “I’m good,”

After you had settled all the food down, you finally let your legs stretch before you, leaning your head on your husband’s shoulder.

Mark’s hand that was previously resting on the plastic picnic mat, finds yours, lacing his fingers with you, “this is nice isn’t it?”

You nod, letting out a satisfied hum. You point towards his phone, “I think you have some songs prepared for this particular moment, am I right?”

“Oh, Mark do you actually have multiple playlists for different occasion?” one of the cast asks.

Mark nods sheepishly, “I think it just became a habit of mine,”

“I’m not surprised though- he is in the music industry after all, I think it is pretty common, right?”

“I suppose so? It just doesn’t feel right to me if the music doesn’t match with the vibes.”

Mark reaches out for his phone, clicking on a particular playlist called ‘when the sun’s out’. Soon, the first song started playing softly in the background.

A content sigh leaves your lips, “you know, if I had to choose one thing I’m grateful for you, it has to be your taste in music,” you tell him, quickly pressing your lips against his cheeks softly.

Mark turns red at your gesture, his hand clutching yours tighter.

“Now I’m curious, what is your favourite song at the moment,” one of them asks, turning to face Mark.

“I really like Justin Bieber a lot,” he answers, “But right now, I can’t stop listening to Good Days by SZA.”

An hour has past by, most of the food already gobbled up by you two.

“Babe,” Mark calls, poking you on the arm.

“Hm?”

“Aren’t you tired?” he asks you, “you woke up super early to make food.”

A soft smile spreads across your lips, “a little, why?”

Your husband softly pats his lap, “come lie down and nap a little. The wind feels really good right now,”

You cleaned everything up and made space for yourself. You comfortably laid your head on Mark’s lap.

“You know,” you started, “I really wish I could look at you right now, but the sun’s too bright.”

Mark rolls his eyes, “don’t be annoying and go to sleep,” he says, his finger softly flicking your cheek.

A soft laughter left you before you finally shut your eyes, dozing off quietly while laying in your lover’s lap.

Once Mark realises that you were asleep, he quietly raises his hands to cover your face from the sun.

“Awww! You are such a romantic, Mark!”

When you realise the bright light was gone, you open an eye to look at your lover who was looking at his phone, with his hand still high up to cover you from the bright sun.

A smirk adorns your lips, your eyes shutting close. You grab his hands, startling your husband. Lacing your fingers with his, you bring them down to your chest.

“I don’t want your arms to be in pain,” you mumble, stroking his hands with your thumb.

You hear Mark scoff at your statement, “I think I can handle it, babe. But, whatever you say.”

A few moments later, you feel his sculpted hands playing with your hair. He would occasionally massage your scalp or tangle your hair between his fingers.

You didn’t say a word, feeling comfortable.

The episode ended with Mark pressing a long kiss on your forehead, before pulling away.

“This couple is too cute!”

“It’s really unfair that I’m still single, this couple makes me want to get married so bad!” one of them agrees.

Episode 35

“After a long time, the couple is finally back again for another episode!” the cast says excitedly, “the last time they were here, the couple went on a romantic picnic date, leaving us all with envy!”

Mark laughs at their comment.

The scene started with the both of you entering the SM building. You had a cap and a mask on, hopefully to cover your identity from the fans waiting outside.

Although the news of you guys being a married couple had came out a few months ago, there were times where you did not feel like getting your pictures taken. Which, to be honest, was a rare moment for you and Mark since he is one of the biggest boy group.

You held onto your husband’s hands who was leading the way to the practice room.

Once he finds an available room, Mark quickly puts his things down on an empty table.

“Okay, so first we need to do some stretching so we don’t hurt ourselves when we dance later,” Mark tells you.

“Why did you want to dance?”

“To be honest, I really hate working out,” you tell them truthfully, “so I asked Mark if he could teach me some dance choreography,”

“Are you good at dancing?”

You laugh, “absolutely not! I have never danced in my life, so this is my first time.”

“She’s too adorable!”

“Babe, can we do something super easy?” you request, taking off your cap since it was covering your vision.

Your husband nods, “yeah, we’re gonna do Kick It today.”

You wince at that. Kick It is the easiest he could think of? You didn’t say anything, following whatever your husband says.

“Okay, so, we won’t do like- the whole choreography,” your husband enunciate. Just as you were about to let out a relieved sigh, Mark continues, “we’ll do from the first chorus onwards.”

Your mouth went wide.

The casts laugh at your reaction.

“Okay, so the chorus kinda goes like this-” he shows you, looking at you through the mirror, “you know it right? you’ve done it before,”

You were at a loss of words, “I mean- I guess? But it’s not perfect so you still have to teach me!” you whine.

Why is he going so fast? you though to yourself.

“Okay, okay,” he chuckles.

For the next few hours, Mark teaches you the choreography step by step.

Your husband was standing behind you, his hands resting on yours, positioning your hands at the right position.

However, you ruined the romantic moment by stepping away from the male and turning to face him with furrowed eyebrows.

The casts let out a series of grumbled sighs.

“Why did Y/N step out? It was such a romantic moment!”

“Exactly!” the other adds on.

“Can we please take a break?” you whine, wiping the sweat that was rolling down your forehead, “I’m so tired,” you huff out, throwing yourself at your husband as he captures you in his arms.

Mark chuckles, agreeing. He grabs your hand, pulling you to sit down on the empty chair. He quickly runs to the other side of the room to grab two bottles of water, opening one of them and passing it to you.

He opens one for himself before gulping half of the bottle down his throat.

After you had gulped the whole bottle down, you tried to catch your breath. “I didn’t know it would be this tiring,” you confess, “is this what you go through everyday?”

The boy chuckles, “yeah, but a shorter period.”

You roll your eyes at his statement, “Okay, show-off,” you joke.

Meanwhile, in the background, Kick It was playing on repeat. An idea pop in your head.

“Wanna know something?” you asked your boyfriend.

He nods.

“I’ve been practicing your rap part of this song,” you tell him, “I can rap your part word for word without any mistakes,” you say arrogantly, a smirk forming on your lips.

“Oh yeah?” he challenges, “my part is coming up, I would love to see you try, babe.”

You stand up from your sitting position with your bottle of water in hand. Getting ready for the verse, you bring your hand that was holding the bottle to your mouth- pretending it was a mic.

“I’m really excited to see Y/N rap,”

“Me too, she seems so confident,” the other adds on.

When the verse started playing, you rapped your husband’s part.

Mark started laughing hysterically when you started mumbling random words. “Dude!” your husband laughs, his hand slapping his knee multiple times when you rap incoherently.

His laughter only ceased when the music stopped. “Oh my god,” he says breathlessly, his fingers wiping the tears from his eyes. “I think you should replace me in NCT,” he jokes.

Just as you were about to reply, you heard a group come in. You turn around swiftly, your eyes widening when you see the familiar girls walk in.

“Oh, oh,” Wendy cheers, “what’s the couple doing in the practice room alone?”

“Oh my god, is that Red Velvet?” one of them asks, looking over at Mark with widened eyes.

Mark laughs and nods his head.

“Oh.. perhaps, you could ask them for their autograph the next time you see them,” they ask sheepishly, “my bias is Seulgi,” they quickly add on.

Mark laughs harder at that, “sure, if I see them around, I’ll make sure to ask for their autograph,”

“Oh hello,” you greet the girls, they bow politely back at you.

Your husband chuckles awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck as he greets the girls. “I’m just practicing with Y/N”

Mark never got the chance to properly meet them in private- it was either with his members or never. Hence, he felt a little nervous seeing them in private.

Irene raises her eyebrows, “are you guys performing for something?” she asks, pointing at the both of you.

You shake your head, “I just wanted to learn for fun,”

Wendy nods, “are you guys going to practice some more?” she asks, looking at the both you expectantly, “cause’, if you guys want to, go ahead. Our choreographer is going to be late so we have time to spare.”

Mark checks the time on his watch before shaking his head, realising it was already pretty late and didn’t want to disturb the girls with their schedule.

“No, it’s fine, we have to go anyway. I don’t want to steal your hour,” he says politely.

Ever since Mark had debut years ago, it was very hard for this group to book the practice room. So, whenever they managed to get the room, they would often use the room until the next person comes in.

You and Mark start packing up your things as the girls settle down and starts stretching.

The girls bid the both of you goodbyes as you quickly left the room.

“Oh my god,” you gasped, your hands clutching onto your husband’s arm as he looks at you in astonishment. “I just met Red Velvet,” you say to the boy next to you.

You hit his arm multiple times, “I literally met Red Velvet! I even talked to them, babe!” you squealed, hitting his arms harder. That was until Mark grabbed your hands for you to stop hitting his poor arm.

“Y/N hasn’t met Red Velvet?” they ask. Mark shakes his head, no. “Why not?”

“I knew she liked Red Velvet but she never really asked me if she could meet them,” Mark explains, “and we had this conversation before- meeting the other people in my company,”

“What about?”

“Y/N told me that she didn’t want to take advantage of my privilege, even though when I told her it was fine,” Mark explains. “So she never really asked about wanting to meet Red Velvet, or any of the other people in my company.”

“Jeez- babe,” he chuckles, putting your hand down and instead wrapping his arm around your shoulder, tugging you closer to him. “You were never that excited when you see me,” he jokes.

The both of you reach the ground floor, stepping out of the elevator.

“That’s because you’re not the prettiest girl group in the world!” you reply cheekily, a smirk playing on your lips.

“How long have you been a fan of Red Velvet?”

You hum, thinking back all the years you have been listening to their songs and collecting their PC Cards.

“I think it was a few months after debut?” you doubtfully reply. “It was when I had just came to Korea for school and one of their music was playing in a store, and I really liked it!”

Episode 43

“Ah, our Mark Lee! Where did you go?” the cast whined, tugging on his arms.

Mark cackle shyly, hiding his face slightly, “I’ve been very busy these days~” he says shyly, “my group had just finished promoting our recent full album,” he explains.

The casts cheers.

“I heard you guys won first for many awards!” one of them says, “congratulations to NCT! As expected, our talented group with many talents and visuals,” they compliment.

“Thank you,” Mark gives his signature grin, “actually, I felt bad for not being able to come on here for so long, so I actually brought our albums to gift it to you guys,” Mark says, reaching for the stacks of albums in the bag.

He hands each one of them the signed and personalised albums to the casts.

“I can’t wait to listen to this!”

“Is Y/N featuring in any of the songs?” they joke.

This time, the show started with you in the kitchen. You were cooking dinner since some of his members were coming over.

Mark on the other hand was sitting in the living room. He was seated on the floor, with papers spread all over the table. He had one of his hand holding a pen, swirling it around, while the other was pressed against his cheek.

“I wanted to produce a song with my own lyrics for this upcoming album,” Mark explains to the cast since they seemed to be a little confused.

“Have you produced a song with your own lyrics before?”

He nods, “I have, but I received help from others. This time I want to make a song that only has my own lyrics,” Mark explains.

“I never really got to ask an idol this question- but, is it hard to have your songs to be featured in an album?” one of them asks.

The spotlight was on Mark.

Mark nods, “it really depends. They usually focus on the music itself- since lyrics can be changed, but if the lyrics are too personal, most of the time they don’t really let you put it in a group album.”

“Did your song manage to be in the album?” one asks.

“Nope,” mark chuckles.

The casts laughs with Mark.

“Because it was too personal?”

Mark simply shrugs, and points at the screen to continue watching.

A heavy sigh leaves past the boy’s lips. He was staring blankly at the piece of paper.

The camera manages to capture everything that was written on the piece of paper. Messy scribbles was the only thing that could be seen.

“Babe,” you called. Mark quickly looks up at you, a pout on his lips. “Make sure you clean the table before the guys come,” you tell him, pointing to the mess on the coffee table.

This morning, Johnny had contacted Mark saying that he misses him and wants to visit. You quickly agreed, since you haven’t seen the boys in so long.

He hums, slamming his head softly on the coffee table, a groan coming out of him when he hit his forehead a little too hard.

A small chuckle left your lips when you heard his groans, “inspiration will come, babe,” you advise as you wipe the plates, “be patient.”

Mark turns his head so his cheek was pressed against the table as he stares at you.

“You look so pretty,” Mark mumbles, but you hear him clearly.

“Does Mark compliment you often?”

You nod slightly, “I wouldn’t say, all the time,” you exaggerate, “but it was definitely enough for me to know he loves me,” you giggle.

Mark continues to stare at you as you work on the food you were making. He was so deeply in love with you that sometimes he wonders what life would be like if he never met you.

He lays his eyes on you for the next 15 minutes. It definitely didn’t go unnoticed by you- but you had forgotten about it once you were properly focused on cutting the onions.

With heart eyes, a sweet smile spreads across your husbands lips.

The casts all coo at the romantic scene.

Mark finally sits up straight. With a grin plastered on his face, he grabs a clean sheet of paper and starts writing his feelings down. Surprisingly, he didn’t need a break, he continued writing for the next 30 minutes, satisfied with the lyrics.

“Did you write a song about Y/N?”

Mark nods, “I did, it was mostly how I felt about being with her.”

“Earlier you said that the song didn’t manage to be in the album, will you be posting the song on another platform?”

Mark scratches his head, uncertain, “I’ll have to ask my company about that,” he jokes.

Episode 47

“We’re finally back with our favourite couple! How are you, Mark?”

“Just fine, I’m preparing some things with my group, so I have been a little busy now a days,” Mark replies.

The casts sighs, “you’ve been working really hard, Mark.”

Mark simply chuckles awkwardly, unsure of what to say.

The show started with you sitting on the familiar chair in the building.

“Oh? The chair seems familiar?”

You had one of your legs crossed over the other with your right hand, holding your phone. You were scrolling through Instagram, hoping it would lessen your boredom.

After a few minutes, you put your phone down when you realised you’ve been scrolling for minutes now, but nothing had caught your eye on your feed. You let out an exhausted sigh, resting the palm of your hand against your cheek.

15 minutes later, your eyes widen when you see the familiar boys step out of the elevator.

You quickly stand up, walking up to the boys.

“Y/N!” they called, “oh my god, it has been forever since I last saw you!”

You giggle. Your eyes search for your husband but he was no where to be seen.

“He’s still upstairs, talking to the producer,” Johnny says when he notices you looking around.

You send him a smile, “I see. Are you guys going back home now?”

The rest of the boys were already walking away after tapping your shoulder to bid you goodbye without interrupting your conversation with Johnny.

“Jungwoo and Yuta are going to get dinner, the rest of us are heading home- it has been a long day, we’re all exhausted,” Johnny says dramatically.

The boy never fails to make you smile, “I know, Mark told me about your schedule.”

Johnny smiles, “also, Mark had a rough day,” he tells you. Your eyebrows raised in curiosity. You wondered what had happen.

“Did you know that Johnny had told Y/N about your day?”

He shakes his head, “I didn’t know, but I am thankful for him for always looking out for me.”

It was only 30 minutes later when you saw your husband step out of the elevator. Instead of his usual jog, he was stomping towards your direction. With the way he was walking and the all black outfit- it made him look even more intimidating then he already was.

Johnny was right, he definitely had a bad day today.

“Hi, baby,” you say softly, when he finally stands in front of you. You softly rub his arm, hoping it would calm him down a little, “you okay?”

Mark only hums, tugging on his bag when you attempt to take it from him. “i’ll carry it,” he says. You kept quiet, not wanting to worsen his temper.

The both of you quietly walk out of the building.

“Can we take a walk?” you ask, looking up at your husband.

He looks down at you and raises his eyebrows. Truthfully, he was already exhausted, but he would do anything you wanted. Mark shrugs, going with the flow.

The both of you started your walk in silence. Your husband had both hands tucked in his pockets with his lips pursed. You took multiple glances at the boy, wondering how you should comfort him.

After hesitating for a while, you wait until he has his hands out of his pockets. When you notice that he finally has his warm hands untucked, you instantly grab it in yours.

A smile form on your lips, when you hold on tightly onto his hands.

“Aw, she was trying to comfort you!”

“Wanna talk about it?” you speak up, tightening your grip on his hands.

Mark smiles, “not really, just thankful that I have you,” he says. You feel his thumb softly stroke the back of your hand, “you’re too good to me, Y/N.”

You scoff, “what do you mean? You are literally my soulmate, whenever you fall, I go down with you,” you reassure him. You nudge his shoulder with yours, “I’ll always be the shoulder you can lean on. No matter how bad it is, I’ll always be by your side.”

“How do you usually comfort Mark during his bad days?”

“He doesn’t talk about his feelings often,” you say, letting out a short chuckle. “But it’s pretty obvious, he isn’t very discreet with his emotions,” you laugh, nudging the boy next to you.

“Depending on how bad it is, I would try to leave him alone until he calls out for me.”

“Why won’t you talk about how you feel?”

“I have always grown up with this mindset- never give off negative energy to anyone who hasn’t done anything wrong,” he blurts out. “I feel like a burden whenever I would talk about my problems to anyone- not just Y/N.”

“I feel very thankful whenever he talks about his problems,” you say to the camera. “I feel proud that I am the one he could lean on.”

Episode 50

“Mark Lee is back!”

Series of claps could be heard from the room.

“I heard you had received multiple awards from MAMA!”

Another agrees, “that’s right! NCT won Favourite Male Group and Worldwide Fans' Choice Top 10! Congratulations to NCT!”

Another series of claps filled the room.

“Thank you so much! My group wouldn’t have received the award without all the loving support from all my fans,” Mark expresses his gratitude.

The show started with you sitting on the couch comfortably. You were deeply concentrated on watching something in front of you.

“What is she watching?”

The camera zooms out until the casts takes notice the television planted on the wall. The casts recognizes the ceremony playing on the television.

You were waiting for your husband’s group to start performing so you can take videos and pictures.

After watching the ceremony, you recognize the introduction to one of your husband’s songs. You sit up straight in excitement, fishing out your phone, ready to film his performance.

You had purposely took bad photos of your husband so you could laugh at them later with him.

15 minutes later, the performance ended. Even though you’re backstage, you still softly clapped at the end of his performance.

“Everytime I see Mark perform, I feel so shocked that we have such a talented guy on our show,” one of them says, making Mark chuckle.

“He was born to be a star,” another comments.

After a few more performances by other groups, it was time for the award ceremony.

You were extremely anxious for this. You hoped all the times that Mark had came home in the middle of the night only to leave again early in the morning or how he would injure himself but would still perform with full energy for his fans would be worth it.

You bit your lip anxiously, your palms had turned sweaty from the long wait of the awaited name.

“The Best Male Group of 2020 goes to...” the announcer trails off, opening the card that held the winner.

“Congratulations to BTS for being the Best Male Group of the year!”

You let out a huff, throwing your head back tiredly.

“You seemed really stressed,”

You nod, agreeing with them, “truthfully, I have seen Mark work really hard this year. It pained me to see him suffer so much and not being able to tell anyone.”

“Next, let’s see the nominated groups for Favourite Male Group!” says the announcer. The screen fills with different groups with their names.

You take a deep breath, sitting up again to watch the ceremony. Your lips purse in concentration.

“The Favourite Male Group of 2020 goes to...” the announcer trails off, opening the golden card.

A smile forms on their lips, “Congratulations to NCT for being the Favourite Male Group of 2020!”

You let out a gasp, looking at the stylists who was also watching the ceremony.

“Oh my god!” you squeal, “they said NCT, right? I didn’t hear it wrongly, right?” you ask everyone in the room.

The stylists nods, “its NCT!”

Your hand goes over your mouth in shock.

“Her reaction is so adorable,”

You watch the boys walk up on stage. Taeyong is the one to step forward to give his speech, followed by Johnny in english.

Finally your husband steps up.

“Wow,” he starts, his fans starts to scream louder. “this is so crazy. I want to start by thanking Lee Sooman for giving me the opportunity to be part of NCT. Next, thank you to our stylist and coordinator for the awesome outfits- we would never be able to win this award without the unique outfits and make up!”

He takes a deep breathe, “and of course, our dearest fans. Thank you for always supporting us, and giving us the opportunity to be on stage with this award,” he smiles when he hears his fans cheers. “Lastly, my wife who has always been by my side even during my ugliest side. Thank you for never giving up on me always bringing the best out of me.”

A grin forms on your lips, you soon became flustered from the coos coming from around you.

“I can’t wait to meet our little one soon. I love you, Y/N. Thank you,” he ends his speech, stepping off stage.

“Wait! What do you mean little one?!”

“I have been pregnant for 15 weeks now,” you say happily. “We have been trying for a baby for a while now, and we are officially having a kid soon!”

The whole casts starts freaking out.

“Why didn’t you tell us?!” they scolded Mark.

“We would like to ask the fans for the upmost support,” Mark adds. “With that, this would be our last episode as a We Got Married Couple.”

“This is a huge surprise!”

“We had so much memories on the show,” Mark admits.

“I had such a fun time on here, but for now, Mark and I had agreed that we want to put all of our focus on our baby,” you added.

“Wow... this is a happy ending,” the casts says.

“We would like to thank Mark Lee and Y/N for their contribution to the show,” they added.

“We really enjoyed watching you and Y/N being cute!”

“Thank you so much,” Mark bow, “it was an honour to come on this show,” Mark says, “I had so much fun, thank you so much for everything.”

“Thank you so much Mark. We hope you have a wonderful journey from now on and congratulations to your first child!”

703 notes · View notes

scarecrowmilkfog · 3 years

Text

♡My Prison Pen Pal♡

Helmut Zemo x reader

Word count: 1,802

Warnings: swearing, mentions of prison and crimes and slight angst to do with his family

A/N: its finally here! I havent writen a fic in a long time so hopefully you guys like this! I tried to avoid using idioms and things like that but message me if you need anything explained or reworded as I know most people aren't native English speakers

@sorcerersofnyc

♡♡♡

His first letter came during the series finale of your favourite show. A rather inconvenient moment, you thought, so it stayed on the welcome mat until you passed through the hall on your way to bed. Picking it up, you figured you'd skim the first few lines then finish it and write a reply before work. Instead, you found yourself writing and rewriting a reply through the night. Somehow this man had managed to enthrall you with only a letter. Maybe it was the way he wrote as if he was some elegant poet whose sonnets would one day be hailed as classics. How he managed to be open and expressive, exuding a welcoming aura, and yet still seeming mysterious. Or perhaps it was simply fated by the stars that Helmut Zemo would capture your heart.

You waited anxiously for his second letter to arrive. After sending the first, you hadn't cared whether you got a response, the whole thing seemed like a bad idea to you. But your mother was insistent that you needed to meet new people and this way you wouldn't need to worry about awkward face to face conversations. Sending the first letter felt like any other chore you do in the day, done with much effort and resignment but forgotten within minutes. But the second? It felt like the most important thing you'd done in a long time. You'd even bought a first class stamp (not that it makes a difference).

You wanted to know more about this intriguing man. No, supervillain. Charged with international terrorism. Jesus christ what the fuck was wrong with you? Were you really falling in love with a supervillain after one letter? But he didn't seem evil to you. He wrote eloquently, somehow his simple and brief description of his day (he'd started reading a new psychology book, you'd have to send him some recommendations) sounded fascinating in his words.

Over time, you started to notice small things about Helmut. The way he crossed his t's, how he signed his name, but mainly that there was a romanticism to his writing. From the way he described his home, his wife, his son to his recipes for Sokovian dishes with small notes and doodles (your favourite was his shepherd's pie recipe where he helpfully noted his mother's assertion that you should always add more than you think you need). It was becoming clear to you that he wasn't the stoic and vengeful baron you expected but rather a soft, lonely and endearingly weird man who you couldn't imagine plotting to destroy the Avengers. Whilst it was his mystery that first captivated you, it was his sweet and sometimes awkward personality that convinced you to keep writing.

It took a while for Helmut to tell you about his family. You had heard on the news back when he first arrested about his motive, so you were interested to hear his perspective on his crimes. But that wasn't what you got. Instead, he told you about when he and his father used to play football when he was young and how they would play a match every time he visited, with Helmut playing against his father and son, who always wanted to play with grandfather. He told you of the songs his wife used to sing, how her voice was always loud and shaky and after years of singing somewhere over the rainbow she would still forget the lyrics and invent her own. He told you how his son was the best pianist he had ever heard. How he could play the greatest rendition of amazing grace and that he had just learnt the theme from swan lake. That he had been excited to practice it on his grandfathers grand piano the day Ultron attacked.

There was something so human about this man. His love for his family, his loss and grief, his plan to avenge his family, it was all so tragic and yet here he was sending you drawings of the flowers from his garden growing up. You wanted to hug him and yet sometimes you felt he wouldn't need it, wouldn't want it. You were wrong.

Helmut Zemo missed his family. He told you so in one of his most recent letters. He missed holding his son, brushing his wife's hair, going for long drives, waking up at 2am to comfort his son, early morning trips to the shops, cleaning up after dinner, helping with homework. Everything he listed seemed so trivial, so meaningless in the grand scheme of life and yet the memories meant so much to him.

You realised then you had never pitied him before. Not that he wasn't deserving of it, just that he didn't seem to need it. But overtime you realised that what Helmut had really needed wasn't revenge or to make a world free from superhumans, it was someone to talk to. Someone to trust. Someone who would understand his pain and not judge it. Perhaps, you thought to yourself, you could be that person.

Fuck.

You couldn't think of how to cope with this. No one you knew had ever mentioned falling in love with a criminal through letters. And as hard as you tried you hadn't been able to find a single romcom with this plot line. You couldn't tell him. You imagined with his seemingly fragile state of mind receiving from basically a stranger professing their love would at best cause him to ghost you. Especially after he confided in you, shared his thoughts and memories.

So instead you continued as normal. You sent him pressed flowers and pictures of your favourite places. Eventually, he asked what looked like, and you spent an hour trying to decide whether you should send a picture of yourself or to just vaguely describe your features. After deciding to send a picture of yourself on holiday a few months before the blip, you found yourself wondering what he'd do with it. Would he throw it away as soon as he got the letter or would he keep it, tuck it away in some book to look at whilst thinking of you?

You also found yourself wondering what he looked like in the real world. You had found pictures of him online, but they didn't feel real. He was never rarely happy. The pictures pre Ultron were clearly taken by paparazzi, so you weren't surprised he rarely looked anything other than annoyed. There were a few though, ones with his wife and son, where he clearly hadn't noticed, and some from when he was much younger and seemed to enjoy the attention. Then were those taken after his arrest.

And so you continued to wonder he looked like. How he looked in the morning, with flowers in his hair or in summer with the sun lighting his face. You wondered what his hair looked like wet, if he ever scrunched his nose in disgust. You wondered what his smile was like.

Over time, you told him more about yourself. The stress of returning home after the blip to no job, no house and your friends 5 years older. Your ex was married with kids and your sister had moved abroad. It was as if you blinked and your whole life had changed. You mentioned how it was your mum who had suggested getting a pen pal, so you could talk to someone new, who was living a different life to you, although she had meant someone in a different country not jail. Since coming back you'd been isolated and stressed with starting a new job, recovering lost information and personal belongings and moving house, so you had thought it might be good to speak to someone who didn't know you, who couldn't judge you. You told Helmut how it had been good, how writing to him had helped you, how he had helped you more than he could ever know.

No, that sounded creepy. How you appreciated his letters.

Too formal. How you hadn't expected to become his friend, but you were glad to be able to say you were.

Helmut was comforting. You knew in your head that your meeting on Friday was nothing to worry about but seeing him say it felt so reassuring. Each one of his letters made you feel relaxed, feel safe. You wanted to make him feel the same. So, as a way to repay his kindness you had told him that no matter what happened, he could always trust you. And it was true. You couldn't imagine a world where you wouldn't do anything for Helmut and although you knew he would never need it, you still wanted him to know you would always care about him, even if no one else did.

Writing to him had become as easy as talking to someone you'd known all your life. You had fallen into an easy routine, you knew when to expect his letters and you knew when you'd send a reply. The routine felt so natural that you even knew what the envelope would look like, always the same off-white with a square edged flap. The address was always the same too. Except on his last letter. Which was strange.

At first, you thought Helmut had been moved to a different prison but after frantically typing the address into Google Maps you realised it was not a prison. Fuck you had no idea what it was, but it wasn't a prison. It also wasn't in Germany.

You sat still, staring at the unopened letter for a few minutes.

You looked up at the door. You thought you heard someone knock. The post had already come and you weren't expecting people. Hell, there wasn't anyone other than your parents who would visit anyway and they would have called first. Now you were sat still, staring at the front door.

"I know you're in there, the lights are on."

It was as if you were a marionette, being moved by some strange force that was slowly pulling you out of your seat and towards the door. You didn't even register that you moved until you felt the door handle on your fingertips. The cold metal caused you to stop, as if broken out of a trance. There was a sudden realisation that if you opened the door your life would never be the same. It was sickening, a mixture of dread and excitement; it reminded you of the moment before a roller coaster drops. You repeated that thought in your head. "Your life would never be the same". Your life hadn't been the same in almost a year. What would be the harm in one more big change. So you did it. You opened the door.

His smile was beautiful.

#zemo x reader #helmut x reader #helmut zemo x reader #baron zemo x reader #zemo #baron zemo #helmut zemo #tfatws

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shhh-no-ones-home · 3 years

Text

death march matt Murdock x reader

+++++++++

this one has been in the drafts for a bit and i finally finished it so i hope you guys enjoy. writing has been slow recently as i havent had much free time and am still trying to rewatch all the netflix marvel series. but i am still working on requests and stories that ive had started for about a month so hopefully the rest will be out soon, along with some frank castle stories now that ive reached the first season of the punisher

prompts: "You need sleep." "I get sleep" "getting knocked unconscious does not count as sleep"

song: saints of the blood by black veil brides

tag list: @cynic-spirit @juniebugg

+++++++++

i sat back on my knees and groaned. matt and i were both covered in blood and he was still writhing around on the ground. but the men around us that were out made me a little proud of all that we'd done. it had been weeks of tracking them down, taking out one ninja at a time until we found were they were all hiding.

"i need a vacation."

he noted as he got to his knees and i laughed.

"you and me both D."

he laughed back as he stood, almost doubling over as he clutched his side. i was quick to stand then, helping him, steadying him.

"whoa, hold up there daredevil, i saw that last punch. broken ribs isn't gonna get you anywhere."

he inhaled sharply.

"and what do you suggest i do?"

i snorted.

"you know the answer to that already."

he shook his head as we limped towards the door together.

"yeah, i shouldn't have asked."

°°°°°°°°°

when we got back to the apartment i was quick to get him to the couch. every move earned a hiss from deep in his chest as i tried to get his jacket off. i figured his ribs were broke but i was more worried about the cuts and stab wounds.

"alright human x-ray, what's the damage?"

he sat quietly for a moment and listened. then he closed his eyes and sighed.

"what do you think?"

i touched his side lightly.

"oh yeah, they're definitely broken. but there's something else. what is it?"

he blinked slowly before wincing as he tried to resituate himself on the couch.

"the cut below my rib is almost deep enough for it to come out."

i made a gross face.

"so maybe this time we really should get you to a hospital."

"no."

he said quickly and i sent him a look.

"matt, if i don't there's a good chance you'll die."

"no hospital."

i bit my tongue as he laid back.

"fine, ill do the best i can but if you if you start fading on me im doing it. this job is bigger than me, and Claire for that matter."

his jaw tightened.

"what would we even tell them? you're not in any better shape."

his breathing was shaky and staggered. i looked to my knuckles on my right hand as i held the cloth to his open wound. at this point i couldn't tell what was my blood, what was his blood, or what was the blood from the men we'd fought in the back of that abandoned warehouse. and then i looked to my left hand, god it was so much worse. my first two fingers were for sure broken, my wrist not in any better shape, and i had a gash almost the length of the back my arm.

"ill think of something, but right now we need to focus on getting you out of this outfit and keeping you from bleeding out. i don't need the paramedics figuring out what we both do in our free time."

°°°°°°°°°

as i sat in the chair beside matt i tried my hardest not to fall asleep. the beep of his heart monitor was very lulling and the morphine they had given me didn't help. it was a little amusing though to look at the two of us; we practically looked like mummies with how wrapped we were. my left hand was broken in eight places, my wrist in two. the cut on my arm was deep enough to need stitches near my elbow but nowhere else, thank god.

"y/n."

i heard him say quietly and i sat up abruptly, no longer tired.

"im here matt, its okay."

i said softly, taking his hand in mine.

"where are we?"

he asked and i let out a laugh.

"metro general."

he deadpanned.

"i thought i told you-"

"i know i know, but i was losing you. i kept checking your heartbeat but you were losing too much blood. and i couldn't live with myself if id let you die. not after all that hard work."

i said the last bit with a hint of amusement and luckily he smiled back.

"what did you tell them?"

i let out a nervous laugh.

"i told them we were walking home through a bad part of town and got jumped, pushed into a back alley by a couple guys, large and in masks. i told them that they all looked the same, same height, same clothes, and only one of them spoke; that he demanded we give him all that we had on us. i told them that you tried to be brave and push me out of the way and that they didn't like that; that they beat you up, attacked you, then attacked me and once they got me on the ground stomped on my hand and ran."

he nodded solemnly; rubbing his thumb over the back of my right hand. the bruises were prominent still, cuts deep to the bone that i hadn't let anyone see since we'd been here the last ten hours.

"that's one hell of a story."

"as far as they know it was one hell of a fight. but you're still my hero; stupid and stubborn, but still a hero."

he smiled, almost laughing but groaning in pain and rolling his head back against the pillows.

"hey, take it easy, you need to heal, You need sleep."

"I get sleep."

he said matter-of-factly and i sent him a look.

"matt, getting knocked unconscious does not count as sleep."

he looked to the ceiling and swallowed hard.

"look, ill call foggy and Karen and tell them you were awake and they can visit later but for now you need all the rest you can get. you lost a lot of blood, and i know you, you'll want to get back out there as soon as possible. but for right now i think its okay to let the others handle the city for a bit. ill talk to Trish, see what she can do with Jessica's help. you know Danny would be willing to do something."

he shook his head.

"no, don't, its fine, I'm fine."

"Matthew, you have three broken ribs, a punctured lung, and you almost got sliced all the way through. I'm calling at least one of your super friends to take the mantle for a couple weeks. hells kitchen survived over a year without the mask, I'm sure it can survive a little longer. just until you're healed."

he sighed, closing his eyes again.

"i hate when you're right."

i smiled, squeezing his hand lightly.

"if that were true, you wouldn't have married me."

i stood up and kissed his forehead.

"Mrs. Murdock, the voice of reason."

he said softly and i leaned down and kissed him properly.

"keeping the love of my life alive one day at a time."

"thank you."

i studied him for a moment as i stood back up.

"get some sleep, ill be right here when you wake up."

#wattpad #x reader #matt murdock #daredevil #imagines #one shots #marvel #the defenders #338

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goopyartiste · 3 years

Text

New Years Kiss

Summary: Sero, after getting rejected, finds a new way to spend the a New Year’s party, especially if he found a special someone to help clear his head and begin the year anew.

Pairing: Sero Hanta x Reader

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: None at all (except extreme fluff)

A/N: OKAY SO I KNOW I DIDNT DO SOMETHING FOR CHRISTMAS AND I STILL HAVENT FINISHED THE 100 EVENT, BUT THIS IDEA CAME TO MIND AND I REALLY WANTED TO FINISH IT! other than the fact that i meant to have this done by new years eve, new years day seems better and not to bad 😗 so we’ll just post it now. better “late” than never.

Sero had never been rejected before, mainly because he never tried to ask someone out. Going to a party was not the way he insisted on making himself feel better, especially not how he wanted to spend his last night of the year, more so after getting rejected by a girl from the general studies course. While he sat moping around his dorm, his friends couldn't stand to see him so distressed considering he was usually one of the more jovial, laid back of the bunch. His usual confidence wavered, jokes didn't land well. Sero’s groove was thrown off, and his friends were determined to fix him. It was Mina’s idea to take him to a party, one that Kirishima and Denki agreed with wholeheartedly. Using her relationships from her old school, she reached out to a friend of hers that she managed to stay in contact with. Considering her luck, Mina hoped her friend would at least introduce Sero to some different people and hopefully make him forget about the one girl that turned him down.

As the group individually began getting ready for the New Years’ Eve party, Sero couldn’t help but be nervous. As someone who rarely feels the usual nerves others feel, this was a strange new sensation for him. Could it be caused by feeling rejection from the first girl he asked out? Or was it some late reaction to something prior? He really had no clue, but man did he not want to find out. Sadly though, Sero was quickly brought out of his daze by frantic knocking at his door. His friends stood on the other side, already decked out in their black and gold glory with cheesy accessories signifying the start of the next year. Oh how he wished he could share in their excitement, but he could at least make an effort to pretend to be happy, especially for them. As they walked along the halls of the dorms, all was quiet. Instead of teasing or banter, Sero was pensive, stuck in his own thoughts and in his head to make sense of the world around him. Everyone was quick to realize how much a good party could help bring up his spirit, especially one where he didn't really know anyone.

The party, however, only really served to make him even more of a downer, sticking to becoming a wall flower instead of his usual antics of recording whatever stupid thing Denki was doing at that moment or shamelessly daring Kirishima to do some idiotic dare. Mina tried to get him to dance, while Denki performed some stunts that he knew would ultimately cause chaos. All this for their friend, who clung to the wall with an indifferent look on his face. That is, until someone caught his eyes.

You floated past him, like an angel coming down from up above. The body spray you had spritzed earlier made his way up his nostrils and into his lungs, filling him with the scent of you. To say Sero was enamoured was an understatement. He blamed his quick infatuation on his broken heart, but the only way to really find out was by talking to you. However you didn’t turn to him. Instead, you made your way to his friend, a certain bubbly pink haired student.

Sero couldn't help but stare. To him, it seemed like you were the only person in the room, brightening it up while only serving to draw him closer towards your blinding light. His heartbeat rang loudly in his ears, almost drowning out the boosted bass of whatever party song was currently playing as it seemed to match the beat of the blaring speakers, the thumping and bopping only adding to his shaken demeanor.

Sero had to talk to you, he just had to.

He shifted his body, moving away from the wall and slowly walking towards you and his friend. One step. Two steps. It was all so sudden for him. Wasn’t he just moping about some girl? Why was he falling for someone so quickly? A third step. Then a fourth. What if he didn’t know what to talk to you about? What if he just made a fool of himself?

Soon, he found himself at least three feet away from the pair, already drawing the attention of his eccentric friend and yours. One look from you was all he needed to be sent into a stupor, feeling the air in his lungs leave him. He subtly gulped, clearly a little nervous but retaining some level of confidence, although he could chalk that up to the energy drink he took before this. Sero could have stayed admiring you for who knows how long if Mina hadn’t spoken up.

“Sero! It’s good to see you walking about!” Mina started, clearly yelling in an attempt to be heard over the booming music. “This is my old friend, Y/N! We used to go to middle school together. We were just catching up.”

You looked at Sero once again and stuck out your hand. “It’s good to meet you Sero. I’m Y/N! Hope you’re enjoying the party so far,” You responded, quickly introducing yourself to the stranger.

Sero was taken aback, a little scared that his voice might fail him, yet he pushed on through. Taking your hand, he flashed one of his signature smiles before replying, “Well it's been a pleasure to meet you. Y/N sounds like a lovely name, and suits you well.”

You slowly felt your cheeks begin to redden and flush with heat, although you quickly chalked it up to the cold winter weather. The two of you took a few moments of silence together, almost as if trying to determine what made both of you so special and intriguing to the other. Well, at least that was the plan until Mina spoke up and startled the both of you.

“I see both of you are getting along well! I’ll leave you to it!” she exclaimed, before running off in Denki’s direction.

In an attempt to ease the blossoming tension, Sero popped a question, too desperate to stay with you that his thoughts jumbled as he asked, “Ah- um… so do you want to go dance?”

His face felt hotter as soon as the question left his mind, already wondering why his mouth had to speak faster than he could think. However, you quickly alleviated his nerves by your quick answer.

“I mean, sure! It seems like fun,” you began before you grabbed his hand and dragged him to the dance floor, “Come on! We don’t want to miss any good songs now don’t we?”

The night seemed to pass in a blur, Sero quickly forgetting his past worries and anxieties while you began to fill every small corner of his consciousness. Your confidence and spunk drew him towards you, almost as if you showed him how to be someone else free from his own worries. He almost forgot about the ticking clock counting down the passing minutes until the start of the new year. He almost forgot about his friends, left behind in the kitchen doing whatever they thought was fun. But he never forgot you and your face, like sickly sweet and viscous honey trapping him. He barely even noticed you dragging him to the balcony as the countdown signified one minute left.

With labored breathing and a creeping soreness spreading, both of you let the coolness of the snow fill you up. You both chuckled, already breathless for dancing and drunk on euphoria. From inside, the cheers and yells of people counting down with the timer rang out into the open air.

Five. You took Sero’s hand, interlacing it with yours as he looked up at your face.

Four. He moved to grab your other hand, but you didn’t let him.

Three. You instead gently placed it on his cheek, caressing it softly and running your thumb across.

Two. Sero looked at you quizzically, almost as if trying to trick you into thinking he didn’t know what you were about to do.

One. You closed the gap between the two of you, except instead of your lips finding his, they found his other cheek. The cheers of friends and strangers clashed with the mellow and tenderness of your kiss.

As you pulled away, you began to speak.

“There. Maybe if you’re lucky, you might get a kiss somewhere else later on.”

Sero grinned, simply savoring the atmosphere, “Does that mean I get to take you out on a date?”

“I mean, if that’s your way of asking, then I guess I’ll have to say yes.”

Sero didn’t know where this new year was going to take him. He didn’t even know if this year would be better than the last. But at least he did know that with you alongside him, it was bound to be a new adventure he would be willing to take.

Taglist (Open!):

@peach-pops @kirislut @deephasoceanmagic @katsushimaa @hannahalanib1 @estridries @art0saurus @yee-harr @shoutamajiki @spookykiri @animatedarchives @meliorist-midoriya @sugas-sweetheart @suggiebabe @justamultifandomfan16 @ohno-grapes

#sero x reader #sero hanta x reader #sero fic #sero fanfiction #sero hanta #mha sero #bnha sero #mha x reader #sero x y/n #sero hanta x y/n #bnha x reader #sero fluff #Stories from the Galaxy; — 🌌

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candiliam328 · 3 years

Note

There’s a song called the killing kind by marianas trench it’s not something I’ve heard musically before but it’s really cool u might like it

me vibing and then suddenly THAT middle happens:

ANON YOU KNOW MY TASTES. I DID ENJOY VERY MUCH THANK YOU.

oh you clicked "read more"? here's some musical overanalysis lol

standard disclaimer applies: hi im not a music major, pls disregard everything below, idk what im saying lol

...

before we start, let's talk about some typical downfalls of long songs:

issue #1: the human attention span is admittedly not great. and this is the biggest issue with long songs or pieces - if you are not exciting enough, you will inevitably lose your audience. but if you are too exciting too soon for too long, you will overwhelm your audience and again inevitably lose them.

issue #2: you start amazing but... nowhere to go. think of it like a film or a story with a great concept or interesting set-up, but very little beyond that. the ending leaves you desiring more and you leave feeling unfulfilled. some songs are like that - they climax a little too early and then you have about 4 minutes of boring filler until it unceremoniously... ends. yike. (there's actually one song in particular that im thinking of that had a really exciting buildup and concept, but i just... i wanted more lol. big sad moment)

ok so those are the typical pitfalls. how do we avoid that? much like in writing or in film, music tends to follow some form structure and can be "outlined" if you will.... so....

let's talk musical forms! there are several different forms or structures any piece of music can take and several classical pieces must follow these structures strictly to be considered a Rondo or a Sonata, etc. there are 2 main categories of forms for songs: "strophic" and "through-composed."

"strophic" is probably what you initially think of for pop music: repetitive verse and refrain structure. however, this song is closer to being "through-composed," which is properly defined as being continuous, non-sectional, and non-repetitive. since pop music is known for being repetitive, we tend to stretch the definition to include songs that (as in this case) have distinct and repeated sections, but once a section is left, it is never revisited.

(other examples of "through-composed" form in pop songs include "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen or "Happiness is a Warm Gun" by The Beatles !)

when talking about musical forms, we tend to write it in letter structure. a strict strophic song would be written as AAAA (one piece of music that is repeated 4 times), while a strict through-composed song would be written as ABCD (4 separate music ideas that are played straight through and are never revisited). for this song, though, i would probably write it to be something out like AABCC' + coda and transition music in between... (rip i havent had to write letter structure in so long pls dont judge)

so with a musical form, you can make a gameplan and hopefully avoid structural issues where you just get lost in the sauce as you are composing. and tldr: this song utilizes a relatively unique musical structure for a pop song.

ok thats cool and all but you may be wondering: how do we deal with attention span aspect? easy.

variety is the spice of life, my friend. even in a standard strophic song, you can change the backing instrumentation with each repetition and even allow it to gradually build so that you feel a sense of fulfillment by the end as all the backing instruments come together. very standard stuff and the more you listen for it, the more you can hear it in nearly every pop song - yes, even in this one! so hey, while we're here, let's walk through it together:

funny side note: unlike with classical music pieces, there's technically a lot of flexibility with what you can do and where you can go with pop music and yet, most pop music we hear is extremely repetitive and based on simple 4 chord progressions. (music now is so weird i swear like wtf are we doing @ contemporary composers) we could talk about why that is the case and all that messy stuff but there is already at least 2k words below so i think we should just get right to it asjakjajajjaaj

...

{ A: the basic pop music section } (sorry)

we open with some nice pizzicato and a 4 chord progression. (thankfully not those 4 chords lol but still a decently common progression? bonus challenge: sing "Shape of You" over that opening, its pretty fun!)

just like we mentioned before, our gameplan is starting bare and simple so that we have room to grow as the section plays on - so we gradually add in some idiophone and backup vocals and strings.

(and yo the swell of the backup vocals at the end of the refrain after the repeated "my love is the killing kind" ? chills. that is beyond the 4 chords stuff and a good taste of what is to come. A+ dissonant work.)

with the repeat of the section, we get some drums and other midi backing layers, but it is still very stripped down compared to most music. if you listen closely, you can hear a countermelody playing that gets more prominent as the section continues to develop.

and then the brass kicks in and ~oh baby~ that is the deep music layer that we have been missing this entire time. the layers have built up at this point and again if you listen super closely, you can even hear some creepy vocals floating in that are separate from the countermelody and accompaniment and hnnnnnnng yes yes yes.

(it is music appreciation hour, folks and it is mostly just me losing it and rambling incoherently - woo)

ok but let's stop really quickly before we get back to this section's refrain and talk about why this works. we know that it's a good way to keep your audience engaged and interested in the music, but there must be another reason why we built up from a very basic pizzicato to a fully layered backing in this song.......

...

{ quick side bar: lets talk about lyrics! }

hi. my name is bean. and i tend to forget about lyrics. and yes, there are lyrics to this song. yes, we should talk about them lol. (i wrote this whole thing and then realized i completely ignored this very important aspect of the song so yes please @ me, this is the last section i added)

most music, regardless of whether or not they have lyrics, is trying to convey some kind of story. and there is a very interesting narrative that this song follows, at least the way i hear it (more in part two 👀).

in short, the lyrics appear to depict an individual that is lonely and is convinced that his affection pushes people away. and the song is directed to us, the listeners, who in this narrative play his old love(s) and continue to haunt him. which is such an interesting concept and it feels as though we are helpless listeners to a man slowly descending into madness and whoooooooo ~ its good stuff anon. its good stuff.

however, for this narrative to most effectively be delivered, all aspects of the music must work together and be in agreement with the narrative. the lyrics may be the main vessel but the accompaniment and backing must reflect and support that as well (just like the score in a film!)

and with all that being said, let's return to part A....

...

{ A : continued }

let's talk about how the backing elements and the lyrics work together to help set the scene in the opening.

we've opened with pizzicato and vocals. "pizzicato" by definition requires you to play detached (plucking the strings rather than bowing) and it often invokes a bright and light feeling in this pitch range. texturally, it provides a nice juxtaposition with the dark/heavy lyrics. add in the whimsical, high pitched idiophone chimes and the effect is ten-fold. but let's consider how this works with the lyrics to convince you the singer is alone:

"I roam these halls / search the night / in hopes that I might see / a remnant trace, a glimpse of you / I stare into the deep"

with the pizzicato and the hits of the idiophone, each note is disconnected from the other, just as the singer appears disconnected from everyone else.

when do we first hear the backup vocals? the first time he sings "the killing kind." could it be those vocals are representing ghosts that are haunting him? perhaps the singer is not as alone as we initially thought...

we've started very high in the musical registers. as we hit the repeat, layers build and lower registers start to appear.

"try and try to let you go / and i'll just disappear / go down below where children go / and we all float down here"

the joint work of the lower registers appearing and the inclusion of lyrics, such as "let you go" and "go down below" invokes the imagery of falling. hence begins the singer's descent into madness. an ominous countermelody gets louder as the singer seems to fall deeper and deeper and ooooooooh~ isnt that great.

with the repeat of the refrain, we get the hard-hitting brass and piano and it feels as though we've arrived. we've reached our final destination and the music has achieved its final form. if this were a typical pop song, this would be the end of our evolution.

however......

....

{ the first transition }

ok ill be honest with you anon. this transition is what got me sold. on my first listen, i had been wondering up until this point why this song was sent in and then oooooooh boiiii - that modulation? that is some solid modulation. the rhythm patterns? the piano? THE BRASS FLOURISHES. hot dang. god im not qualified to talk about how good this transition is, but asjkajajajaja i love it so much.

...

{ B: the development }

( let me be honest, anon, a big cause for delay in this answer is actually this section in particular. i swear ive heard the melody for "one for the memory, two for the pain" before but i can't. find. it. (so i give up) it's a nice melody at the very least. and by my ear, a musical line that we haven't heard yet in the song so yay! )

real quick let me explain the name. first time i heard this song and realized there were three distinct sections, i was thinking about sonata form. sonatas have 3 distinct parts: exposition, development, and recapitulation. the exposition is your main musical idea and you do some standard things to it before heading to your development. and the development is pretty much when you can go ham. be a little weird! do cool things! explore musical ideas before you have to return to your main musical idea with the recapitulation. (we don't return to our original musical idea in this song, but hey, just work with me a bit here lol)

in short: i love this development. remember those two issues we mentioned that long songs encounter? this development is what allows us to avoid them.

issue #1: the human attention span kinda sucks.

one of your biggest enemies here? repetition. but a good development gets rid of that problem for you since you have now stopped repeating and are now going on a separate adventure (a side quest if you will) which is hopefully enough to keep your audience captivated and engaged on your path to the ending.

issue #2: the song climaxed too hard, too quickly.

that first transition was, for lack of a better descriptor, EPIC™️ - there were power chords and melodic screaming and imaginary pyrotechnics in my mental concert stage. how can you even top that??

the answer is: you don't. don't even try. just drop off, take a hard turn left, and take a moment to catch your breath. like i always say: the rests in the music are just as important as the actual music itself. its the contrast and presence of both that makes it interesting.

(side note: other pop music do utilize this phenomenon to an extent! beyond a typical bridge, i think of the sudden acapella moments in the middle of songs to create the eventual "drop" as all the instruments come back in and gets audiences pumped.)

remember all that build up we did in part A? yeah, we're scrapping it - we're starting fresh with completely cut audio and building up again new, slightly changed but still similar enough to parallel.

the main accompaniment in part A was pizzicato ? ok, let's change the accompaniment for part B to legato, bowed strings. it's a fresh start and let's be clear about that. however, let's bring in that idiophone again as accents for the accompaniment. we're entering more familiar territory and letting it slowly all build back up again, taking our time with it in a way to contrast with the craziness of the transition.

and now, remember what i said about the melody line for this section maybe being somewhat familiar? whether or not that is true, the rhyme should be familiar to most, if not all listeners:

"one for the memory, two for the pain"

clearly meant to invoke the classic: "one for the money, two for the show"

the lyrics and the rhythm applied to the lyrics are very familiar and comforting and combined with the relatively toned down accompaniment? amazing contrast with the transition. A+ work.

now, how does this all fit with the narrative of the song?

this section is to me like a skewed nursery rhyme. its comforting but the lyrics are telling me it shouldn't be. its the return of that fun juxtaposition from section A.

our singer is haunted by ghosts (of us), but he seems ok with it? even comforted by it? with each repetition of the "one for the --, two for the --" section, it feels as though the singer is singing to himself and swigging another drink. drinking makes the ghosts feel more prominent and we see that reflected in the music as it swells and becomes more dramatic.

also worthy of note is the incremental modulation up throughout this section to create this suspenseful feeling that we are still "going somewhere." but its the opposite feeling as before - we are no longer descending into madness but ascending into some unknown fantasy.

...

{ the second transition }

........ theremin my beloved ??? 👀👀👀

god im so partial to the transitions - is it obvious they're my favorite parts? like i can't even talk about how good they are, im just *MWAH*

however, i'd like to draw our attention to these particular lyrics:

(in part B) "sing it for me baby / singing me to sleep"

(transition) "i dream of you / evermore"

GOD. this imagery. we are still climbing but it feels much more unnatural and hazy this time (god i hope that's theremin, thats my best guess)

AND HELLO RETURN OF THE BRASS CALL.

so brass is really funny. its an incredibly cinematic choice and you usually hear it when there's a victory. gosh, i know how twisted is that? the singer has appeared to have died or completely left this realm of reality and we're celebrating it with a victorious flourish? i love it. i love it so much holy crap.

...

{ C : the last bit + the coda }

FINAL HOME STRETCH! (if you've actually made it this far, idk how or why, im genuinely impressed)

as im sure you realize by now, each main section follows a similar structure: we cut out any previous progress and start fresh, building from silence but utilizing different textures each time.

but real talk - the second transition absolutely sells this feeling of ascension and a sense of imminent arrival. and you finally get there and you arrive with this section and its surprisingly intimate. its just you and the singer's voice as he whispers "hey, do you hear me?" (like a gd verizon commercial).

i almost shudder thinking about it bc the narrative up to this point made me feel as if i was watching someone else's madness journey helplessly, but with the opening of this section, it is almost as though - i too have lost my mind. i have been a part of this journey as much as he has and it's... whoof. that's the combined power of the lyrics and the cutting through the music with silence and it is extremely. effective.

(also remember what i said thousands of words ago about Bohemian Rhapsody? doesn't that "now, now, now" segment before the guitar shredding give you Bohemian Rhapsody vibes?)

in fact, this entire section is him begging us to stay him. the ghosts have become real to him but it also begs us to wonder... are we real? or are we ghosts? have we also gone mad?

"don't you hear me now? / if madness overtakes us both / then nobody would be alone / the ghost of us can linger here / forever not to disappear /stay / stay near / oh, stay / we could be together here / forever we're together bound in madness"

a majority of this piece is in a minor or dissonant key, but this section feels mostly major? positive? and those familiar brass flourishes in the background definitely help.

i lack the words to describe beyond that but this is just a wild and conflicting finale combined with the full climax of the song and that vocal work and the ending with the final brass flourish and im just -

wow. everytime. its just. wow.

...

~ thanks for sharing and thanks for reading ~

#go below the cut at your own risk #i think i accidentally wrote an informal paper on this #believe it or not i could have actually said more lol #and hey #stay tuned for pt. 2 👀#honestly anon the journey ive had with this song #i think this might be one of my favorite songs now #thank you so much for sharing anon #my ramblings #music #asks #killing kind anon #musical beans

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uwua3 · 3 years

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Hello! Sunflowers hold a really special meaning for me so when i read the "sunflower dreams" My heart was so happy!! I havent felt this happy in a long time since quarantine started so thank you for taking the time to write it! It really made my day. If i could request a kazunari x reader where they're both artists that would be amazing. Maybe the reader can be a famous anonymous art influencer? Its up to you! Again thank you so much for writing "sunflower dreams" 💜

i’m so happy i could make you smile ‧⁺◟( ᵒ̴̶̷̥́ ·̫ ᵒ̴̶̷̣̥̀ ) it’s messages like these that absolutely make my day! thank you so much for taking your time to even read it, i’m glad to know it touched your heart ♡ i hope you have a good rest of your day—please know all of a3! love you vvv much!!! ｀･ω･)9 i hope this makes your heart happy just like before! thank you, anon, for everything

summary: every time you fell in love, you made a new art piece

author’s note: please smile from this absolutely soft and endearing kazunari fluff! in times like these where negativity is all around us, it’s good to take a break and purposely give yourself happiness. i hope this is a light in your day and makes you experience all the goodness of love! ♡ — concept based on “to all the boys i’ve loved before”

word count: 3,389

music: i like me better – lauv

to everyone i’ve loved before.

🌻🎨 miyoshi kazunari

you created art every time you had a crush so intense, you didn’t know what else to do

no matter how big or small it was, or how long or short it lasted, love is love. even if it was a random stranger you’d never see again or someone you knew for a lifetime, love is love

therefore, there was no exact total. because even if you didn’t remember every single person you’ve made art for, you clearly remembered what it was like experiencing the euphoria of love. the phenomenon of your heart selflessly beating for someone else. the attack of getting hit by cupid’s arrow out of no where. the rush of emotions unlike any other

love was everywhere and you made sure to create something that was a memory of it. that was when you decided to practice art after being unable to recall a person’s face a moment too long

it was your form of a love letter. a picture spoke a thousand words you couldn’t write, and art was the perfect way to convey that. online for everyone to see were your love letters in art form: portraits of everyone you’ve loved

you fell in love again and again, a new art piece posted soon over the years of your life. under the username, to-everyone-ive-loved, a lifelong project was in the works for all of social media to see

unknown to the rest of the world, you were the artist behind the blog “to-everyone-ive-loved” who created portraits from memory

but, you didn’t mean to fall in love with another artist as well

all it took was one comment and you were theirs

it was one of your most recent posts, a finished piece on a stranger you saw. you found yourself in veludo way, the ideal street to find people you’d never forget. after witnessing a sudden street act, only one actor caught your eye that day

you didn’t know his name, but you didn’t need to. you were in love

you immediately rushed home without a second thought, the inspiration and creativity infectious after watching him perform. something about his energy was wildly entertaining and bizarre, like a modern pop song as a person. he was effortlessly trendy, popular, and charismatic just from the few minutes you saw him

the moment he stood up on that street corner like it was a stage, all eyes were on him and he knew it. as you sketched into the day, you remembered the small details clearly. dirty blonde hair with no dark roots in sight, glittering green eyes, wide welcoming smile. he had the face of an actor, that’s for sure

when you posted it right after finishing, you didn’t expect any major attention. on average, your posts got 100 likes or so. while it was an impressive feat, nothing could’ve prepared you for that one comment

kaz-PIKO: i’m in love with your art ♡

as your popularity and fame grew before your very eyes, you clicked on his profile and realized it was him. the actor you had seen earlier at veludo way

you didn’t know what happened, but all you knew was you couldn’t forget this one person, miyoshi kazunari, no matter how hard you tried

no matter where you went, you couldn’t draw anyone else except that boy named kazunari. after scrolling through his entire instablam account, you found out he was an actor for mankai company’s summer troupe. he was a star in his own right, with a stage presence like the spotlight was constantly on him and a heart of gold

this was the first time you ever got so caught up on someone that they didn’t leave your mind. hours became days, and days began becoming a week before you let yourself follow him back

everyone you had ever drawn had never recognized themselves before. it was all because a follower connected the visual similarities between your art and kazunari’s unique traits that kazunari knew you had seen him before

if only he wasn’t a social media influencer with followers reaching the hundreds of thousands. at least, his popularity attracted attention to your profile...

this was a problem, however. because if you couldn’t draw anyone else, what could you do? once again, you stalked kazunari’s blog once again like it was a habit

it was never really a rule to make one love letter per person, but you never had wanted to make another for the same person. until, now

video after video. picture after picture. story after story. you could see kazunari’s face even when you closed your eyes. what about him made you daydream about him constantly? was it his charming voice that could make anyone stop and stare? his intricate piercings that were different every day? his ability to make you feel at home? whatever it was (or maybe it was an accumulation of everything and more), you had to draw kazunari again

when you posted it, you typically didn’t add more to the caption than the date and time. except this time, you felt like all your rules were being broken over someone who had no idea who you were

to-everyone-ive-loved-before: XX/XX/20 (3:33 A.M.) — social butterfly

you watched it upload. it was a piece you had never done before. glowing butterflies of all colors surrounded the center of the masterpiece, a smiling kazunari

hopefully, this would solve whatever feelings you were having and the world would go back to normal. you’d move on, fall in love with someone else, and repeat

it didn’t work, because some time later, you woke up to a comment that made you feel the butterflies in your stomach

kaz-PIKO: like a butterfly, i’ll fly to you, wherever you are~ ☆

and for some reason, you wanted kazunari to find you

you had never felt so motivated to draw before. however, your muse was the same. a beautiful boy named miyoshi kazunari who was slowly capturing your heart without even knowing it. you watched the pages in your sketchbook lessen and lessen. the corners of assignments and napkins and anything in between was covered in doodles. if there was a writing instrument in your hand, something related to kazunari would come out of it

it was a fascination. a fixiation, even. you had only seen one performance before falling in love. was it because kazunari responded that it made you feel like you had a chance?

you wouldn’t admit it, but it was becoming embarrassing with how much you were staring at the few unread messages from kazunari in your dm box. they came in right after you had followed him back, and more arrived when you posted the “social butterfly” piece

what was stopping you from talking to your muse? you knew the answer without thinking: what if these feelings were real?

obsessions and crushes come and go, but... love, love stayed. there wasn’t any possibility you could love someone from afar without knowing anything about them, right?

but, then again... you did know some things about kazunari. you knew kazunari was the best actor of all time, with expressions and gestures the equivalent of art. kazunari was art—in every single way possible. everything about him made you want to draw and draw and draw

you only drew kazunari for a certain time, no matter which stranger crossed your path. people you knew you would’ve sketched simply became passer-bys, and it was all because of kazunari’s sunny smile that you were in love. or, what you thought was love

the more you thought about kazunari’s unread dms, the more you wondered what this was. why did kazunari make you so happy? was this truly the first time you were experiencing... a crush?!

for the first time since that street act, you found yourself in veludo way. while half of you was hoping you’d randomly bump into summer troupe’s moodmaker, the other half was petrified about how kazunari was a real person. a very much popular, recognizable person

it was the weekend, and the burden of university projects was telling you to go back and focus. yet, with a sketchbook in one hand and a pencil tucked behind your ear, you were very much prepared to draw to your heart’s content

as you tried to flip to a clean page, you heard something that made your heart flutter. despite the noise and busy atmosphere of veludo, a distinct laugh was audible above the crowd. when you looked up, your eyes barely registered a deep blue jacket before walking straight into the person

you nearly tumbled to the ground before two hands steadied you, a surprised “whoa!” leaving their mouth before being followed by a gentle laugh. the usual embarrassment didn’t set in until you went to go thank the person, only to stop

oh my god. you had just bumped into miyoshi kazunari, your muse for the past month or so

kazunari grinned, even though it faltered slightly at your wide-eyed expression and awkward silence. he didn’t seem to mind as he adjusted his black top hat, pocketing his phone and confidently meeting your gaze

“i’m so sorry~! i hope you’re okay, i’m kazunari!” kazunari introduced and you realized he didn’t know you were behind to-everyone-ive-loved-before. you quickly adjusted yourself, pretending as if this wasn’t the highlight of your entire week

when you introduced yourself, kazunari’s eyes sparkled with interest as he easily led you into conversation. despite being a bit of a socially awkward artist who preferred being alone over anything else, kazunari was... comfortable. you didn’t feel self-conscious of how you acted, because he readily accepted how you were with a smile

was he like this was everyone or... did he find you to be a work of art, too?

standing off to the side, you finally noticed several members of mankai were advertising their latest play. bright, aesthetically pleasing flyers were being handed out to everyone walking by, and you seemed to look a moment too long before kazunari followed your gaze and suddenly snapped his fingers

“oh! are you interested in theatre?” you really weren’t, but you nodded anyways just to see kazunari’s excitement. he pardoned himself for a moment just to snatch a flyer, returning to show it off with a proud smile

“please come to mankai company’s summer performance!” kazunari’s smile sparkled and before he looked around to see if anyone was watching, he winked. kazunari covered the side of his face that was facing his troupe members, pretending as if you two were sharing some big secret

“plus, i’ll be there. if you come, i’ll make sure to do my very best~” kazunari bargained, even though you already knew he was already planning on wowing the audience with his charisma. you took in his genuine want to impress you and the butterflies came back

“i’ll come.” you agreed without even checking the date or reading anything. now all of you just wanted more & more opportunities as the person kazunari was surprisingly interested in, not as the artist who was basically in love with him

agreeing right away was worth it when kazunari shot you a grateful, blinding smile in return. you stumbled over your words with how taken back you were, but asked anyways, “do you like flowers?”

kazunari’s eyes softened for a moment, his usual energy suddenly gone before returning. he seemed genuinely moved by your question, and you wondered how many flowers it’d take to see him smile again like that

“i do, especially if they’re from you.”

“what kind?”

someone called kazunari’s name, insisting they were going to be late for practice. kazunari shouted back an agreement by telling them to go ahead first, before putting all his attention on you once again

“hibiscus.” meaning delicate beauty

before kazunari could ask for your socials, with his hand already reaching for his phone, you cut him off, hoping your voice wasn’t off

“next week. 7 P.M., mankai theatre. i’ll be there, front row.” you promised and took off, rushing off with a wave as kazunari stared after you for a second before waving back enthusiastically

as you left, kazunari was about to leave before he noticed something on the ground. it was a plain sketchbook, unassuming at first but it was nearly bursting at the binding with how many pages there were

when kazunari picked it up, he was about to flip to the first page before mankai called his name again, impatient this time. kazunari held onto the book and sent one last glance towards your direction before disappearing, hurrying to make sure the director wouldn’t penalize him for being the reason everyone was late

when you arrived home, you instinctually reached for the pencil behind your ear. at the same time, you put your hand in your bag, attempting to feel the familiar edges of your sketchbook

then, after turning your bag inside out and finding nothing, you collapsed onto your desk chair with shock and disbelief

you lost your sketchbook in veludo way the moment you met kazunari. what if he had it?

you drew another piece and stared at your screen, wondering if you should post it. it was kazunari once again with a yellow hibiscus flower behind his ear, the same gentle smile you couldn’t perfectly capture gracing his lips

you typed the caption and backspaced before settling on something that only you and him would know

to-everyone-ive-loved-before: XX/XX/20 (8:01 P.M.) — delicate beauty

you hesitated before deleting the post a second after. maybe, you’d keep some artwork to yourself

kazunari had the sketchbook open next to his bedside, his phone in his hands and your profile open. he could recognize your art style a mile away, and the moment he saw the first sketch after practice, he couldn’t believe it

did this explain why he felt such a natural attraction to you? when you bumped into him, kazunari swore he could see the sparks flying. you made him feel like he was falling in love and you only proved him right when you two talked earlier. he wanted to know everything about you, he wanted to see you again

was this what love at first sight felt like? kazunari giddily typed a message over and over again, the unread messages of his filling his screen

kaz-PIKO: heya!! ★>d(,,･ε´-,,)⌒☆ just wanted to say i LOVE your art fr!!! we should totes collab, you know???

kaz-PIKO: thanks for drawing me btw :0 does this mean you live near veludo? let’s meet up!!!

kaz-PIKO: ,,, i don’t usually say this but, that social butterfly piece was breathtaking. you must really like me, huh? (･ω<)☆ jk haha

kaz-PIKO: no but really, it’s beautiful. thank you, honestly. it made my day, you make me happy ♡

kaz-PIKO: you must be really beautiful, too. i would want to draw you as well. lmk if ur up for that haha

kazunari read back his previous messages, all of them delivered but unopened. he realized how... how open he already was with the anonymous faceless artist, despite never interacting with them

now that he knew what you looked like, it only reassured his intuition that he was rightfully head over heels for you

kazunari typed something before deleting it, closing out of instablam and throwing his phone somewhere on his bed

kaz-PIKO: i was right, you are beautiful. i may have fallen in love, too

some things were better left unsaid. after all, you two had until next week to figure everything out

for the rest of the week, all you and kazunari did were think about the other person. a small part of you was afraid kazunari wasn’t the dream boy you imagined, but he was much more. you noticed he started posting more often and turned his notifications, wanting to be one of the first to see his practice videos and university selfies

you didn’t post any of the art you made of kazunari, making it the longest you hadn’t posted ever. kazunari couldn’t help but refresh your account every now and then, hoping he’d see his face again, as selfish as it was. kazunari wouldn’t know how’d he feel if he saw someone else had your heart

the longer time went on, the more you were certain. every fascination you had with someone was temporary, and you remembered the feeling rather than the person. but, with kazunari, you liked him for who he was. everything kazunari made you feel was new and exciting, but even when that went away, you still liked him

kazunari was your first crush, for real

kazunari liked making people like him. so, your online confession through art wasn’t exactly a surprise. but, yours was different. it was earnest, honest, and everything he didn’t know he was needing

kazunari looked through your sketchbook again and again, tracing over the notes you wrote in the margins and admiring your skill

kazunari liked you, and he was certain he would’ve still liked you even if you weren’t to-everyone-ive-loved-before

when showtime arrived, kazunari was oddly nervous. peeking from behind the red curtain, kazunari could already see you were one of the first sitting front row, just like you said. he had practiced his lines a thousand times and summer was fully prepared, why was he nervous?

before he went on, kazunari ignored the urgency of the mankai staff and quickly texted a message to your profile, hoping you’d at least see the notification this time

kaz-PIKO: i like you, too

(when you felt your phone buzz, you quickly silenced it)

the show moved you to a standing ovation, just like everyone else in the audience. as summer walked out to bow and express their gratitude, you watched kazunari’s eyes search for yours as he tilted his head towards backstage. you nodded, knowing you’d do anything to see this kazunari. actor kazunari, who was on cloud 9 with his performance and glowing from praise

you wanted to see, to experience, to draw, all versions of kazunari

after the applause, you looked around backstage before feeling a hand on your arm, the feeling reminiscent of the first time you bumped into kazunari

“you came.” kazunari breathlessly stated, as if he was surprised. before he could say anything else, you presented him with a bouquet of hibiscus flowers. the same shade of yellow you drew him with

“of course, i wanted to see you again.” you honestly admitted, knowing it made you flustered. kazunari carefully took the flowers before grinning, gently placing then beneath his chin. he looked like a vision, you wish you could’ve asked him to stand still so you could capture this moment forever

“i wanted to see you, too.” kazunari softly said, all the energy of being on stage gone. it was tranquil and peaceful, like you two were the only people in the entire theatre

kazunari took a moment to admire you before realizing something, taking something from behind him and presenting it to you. it was your sketchbook on the bottom, but a smaller version was on top of it, signed in silver sharpie. kazunari’s signature was glittering like his eyes as you took it

“next time, let’s draw together.”

kazunari’s sketchbook was filled with you. anything from small doodles to encouraging messages was found inside, with tens of post-it notes of just thoughts about you. kazunari’s art was colorful and extremely out of the box compared to his usual traditional style. it made you smile

kazunari watched you flip through it, already knowing this was the greatest act of love he could’ve declared this early on. he anticipated for you to reach the end

when you landed on the last page, you saw a note

do you want go on a date with me?

“next time, respond to my dms! that way i don’t have to write everything~!” kazunari teased and you two shared a laugh, knowing everything was going to be okay

“yes.”

“yes...?”

“yes, i’ll respond to your dms. and yes, i’ll go on a date with you.”

eventually, you ended up closing your blog for good. your last post was a picture of you and kazunari, with one caption

to-everyone-ive-loved-before: XX/XX/20 (3:33 P.M.) — to the one boy i love now, i love you

kaz-PIKO: i love you, too ♡

#miyoshi kazunari #kazunari miyoshi #a3! act! addict! actors!#a3!#act! addict! actors!#a3! actor training game #a3! headcanons #act! addict! actors! headcanons #mankai a3!#mankai company #a3! x reader #a3 x reader #kazunari x reader #a3! kazunari #a3 kazunari

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clumsyclifford · 3 years

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u know what. i will give u all the lore u want. i’m 18, will be 19 decently soon so we are close to the same age. also the other band was r5. i have sent u asks about them and tde in the past. i followed you for atl content and got whiplash when u started posting about the first band i ever loved. i was like 10 when their first album dropped i have been around for entirely too long. i had a wattpad account and wrote r5 fanfic from the tender age of like 11-13. i discovered 5sos i don’t even remember how but i think the funniest part about it is that i never really got into their music?? i got into them as people by watching like interviews and compilations. and i mean at this point that was a While ago. SPEAKING OF FANFIC i did that like ao3 year in review thing like a month ago??? and you were my top author of the year so far. i read a lot of fic on ao3. your fics are very lovely and some of my favs. moving on. will not lie my music taste is kinda embarrassing and has barely changed since i was like 14 lmfao. been listening to a lot of waterparks lately. have been since their album dropped in may. i essentially go through phases of listening to solely one artist. or one playlist i made. most recently my taste has consisted of a lot of all time low, waterparks, paramore + hayley’s solo music (it really had to grow on me BUT now that it has it is very good), also been on a nostalgic r5 kick as well. hot take it has been quite difficult for me to get into tde’s music and i don’t really know why. some songs i absolutely adore (omg plz don’t come around is my fav by them. also scared of heights, feel you now, welcome to the end of your life are top songs too) but others i’m just. i have never liked preacher man and it’s the first song they released after they rebranded in like 2017. i love to see them finally free to do what they love music-wise but some of it is just. hard to listen to. i’m supposed to see them live in november (like 4 days before my birthday, kinda cool) and it’s the second time the show has been rescheduled so hopefully it happens. i’ve seen them live before but not since they rebranded. they’re dropping an album in october that i will have like a month to learn so it better be a fucking banger. now i’m just rambling about tde because i love ross and rocky with my entire being. rydel is annoying these days tho. also she named her baby fucking SUPER what kind of name is that why would you do that to a child. anyways. you ever need useless random r5 lore, i’m the person to ask. it’s the effect of being around to like a band for like 8 years. in conclusion my music taste? terrible. a cluster fuck. i will listen to luke’s solo album next time i’m focusing on a task because i like listening to new music when i’m concentrating on something. there’s some other bella lore for the day. - other bella

OH ALSO yeah idk. i’m currently on mobile. when i looked at your blog on mobile the first time last night it was blue. but now it’s pink. i have yet to see it on desktop but when i do i am sure it will be equally as pretty. - other bella again

hell YES some other bella lore. let's dig in

oooooh how soon? whens your birthday? 👀👀👀

ahhh yes i do remember the r5 asks !!!! that was a fun little era of clumsyclifford content huh. dont worry i wrote 1d fic on wattpad from ages 11-13 as well sooo same hat. that is super funny tho actually that you never bothered to listen to their music u really were staying loyal to r5 good for you

ao3 year in review???????????? say more?????? what is this?????????? thats very flattering regardless omg im going to ask you what your favorites are because im a leo just kidding its because i crave validation and im curious what ones you read/have read. also thank you for reading my fics lol

oh yeah theres a new parx album!! i dont listen actively to them but i really like all the parx music i know. im scared to get really into them because im genuinely afraid to fall in love with awsten knight. like im not joking thats the reason. i have to listen to more of their music tho cos i really enjoy what i know so...if you have recs...👀 i'm listening

mm thats a good lineup of music to listen to!! paramore is another band i never got super into, i meant to and then i listened to all of riot and then i learned that hayley williams is like pretty christian and that a few paramore songs are more christian than i anticipated and now i'm like. on the fence about it all. but i wanna listen to after laughter i just havent gotten around to it yet. and i did like riot. i like paramore. i like dead horse by hayley, i didnt like the other single she released, and i didnt listen to her solo music because i didnt like the first single so im not sure if i would actually like it? i am accepting vibe checks in that category though i dont really know what kinda music it is. actually now that im thinking about it doesnt she have two albums now???? i feel like the answer is yes. anyway. moving on

that is very fair the thing abt the tde stuff is that it's all so interesting and so different from every other tde song like they really just do something unique in each song which i think is awesome but also makes it hard to like every song bc it's not like one universal vibe you kinda have to decide for each song if you're enjoying it or not. i do LOVEEEE tde though, im very jealous that you're seeing them perform. although i dont know why im not, just looked it up and theyre gonna be in new york on november 24th which is a sunday so i miiiight.....be able to go.......maybe...........their website says the 25th which is a monday so maybe i was under the impression the show was on a monday?? but the ticket site says sunday. 👀 we will just...have to see......what we see.............

ANYWAY

RIGHT im so excited for their album i was mistakenly thinking it was coming out the same night as luke's but it was just the new single which i really liked on a first listen but have to listen to again cos ive only heard it the one time. but i hope it fucks. they announced that the album is called girlfriend which personally i think is really fun so i have high hopes

SHE NAMED HER CHILD FUCKIN WHAT NOW???????????????

wait eight years thats a long time but also thats roughly how long ive been around 1d wtf........insane. madness. and in fairness probably roughly how long ive been around 5sos but i took a hiatus from both of those bands during high school so im not sure how much i can count all of those years. ive been around all time low for six years though, that's pretty good. anywayyyy i hope you like luke's album but no pressure man listen whenever you feel like it. LOVE YOU

#whew #we got through it #we did it boys #guys my friend is picking me up at TEN in the morning tomorrow #we're going out on a day road trip #going to her aunt's farm to meet some goats #etc #it's gonna be really fun we're just gonna listen to taylor swift and atl i'm really looking forward to it #but also tho.....i will have to be up and ready to go at TENNNNNNN #thats a horrible time #i mean like #better than camp time but still ugh #early #she said 9:20-9:30 and i was like omg thats. so early #ask #anonymous #cubs anon

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zigsexual · 3 years

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Hey! I see you have good story telling recs for like video games and stuff and I just got a ps4, is there anything you recommend? I have wolf among us and Detroit become human on my list THATS all I have so far

omg girl u have come to the RIGHT place ! story-based games are my shit ok... im gonna start by doing a lil self-plug which is that i’m streaming one i really love called firewatch tonight (at 7pm PST hehe) on my twitch so we can start with that one. its such a pretty game and has a really touching story. but that aside, non-exhaustive list below:

the last of us — i havent played the second one yet, but both 1&2 are playstation exclusive i believe and the first one is probably one of the greatest games ever made. better than most movies i’ve watched story-wise; i fell in love with the characters and i doubt anyone could play this without shedding a few tears.

the walking dead by telltale — same studio that made the wolf among us (which i fucking love also), and all four seasons of this game are a masterpiece. clementine is probably my all time favorite video game character, and there were some side characters who i really sobbed over during the course of the game. plus all the characters you play as are characters of color so there’s a specific attention to diverse viewpoints there!

life is strange — i would hope you’d have played this already if you like story games, but if not, go play the original game ASAP (LiS2 is alright, but the first one is what really shines) and you can also play the prequel before the storm. beautiful atmosphere, attention to detail, gameplay mechanics, etc. good good shit

dragon age — HELLO my fave shit omg, again not to self-plug but i’m gonna be doing a stream series of this and starting with an intro to the lore for beginners because there is serious worldbuilding for these games and the storylines are immaculate. there’s three so far and including the various DLC you will be entertained for weeks if not months.

mass effect — made by the same studio as dragon age, essentially it’s dragon age in space. same great characters, worldbuilding, plotlines, etc. just... ignore andromeda and only play the main three ME games.

uncharted — i will fucking die for naughty dog games omg so they also made the last of us plus all 4 uncharted games and these ones are SO much fun. much less emotional turmoil, think indiana jones in the present day with an extra serving of wisecracking banter and there you go. really excellent fully fleshed out female characters as well. nathan drake is a treasure.

until dawn — more of a horror game but has weirdly excellent actors (hello rami malek???) and a super cool/creepy story with not so much focus on combat (more QTE based) which helps when you’re just there to be entertained. i love this game, i’m not a huge horror person myself but it’s just so good and your choices really impact the outcome.

oxenfree — deeply underrated game with some of my favorite voice acting ever, such a gorgeous art style, and an incredible and resonant story. so much lore to unpack here too, this game was really made with so much love (like there is deadass a morse code message hidden in the beat of the main song that leads to an irl mystery... google that shit its so cool) and it has major replay value. lots of choices to make and they all impact the ending in a ton of ways.

pillars of eternity — i actually liked the second one more than the first one and i enjoyed them both a lot so that’s saying something! you can play on easy mode and ignore the fighting and there’s tons of quests and choices to make and an interesting story/mystery to uncover. plus in the second one you get a pirate ship.

divinity original sin 2 — played this recently and it’s definitely more of a combat game, but as with POE you can just play on the easiest setting lol and then explore the game for its world and storyline. similar to POE in that it’s quest-based as well, the characters are super well done, and it’s all voice-acted which is nice.

star wars knights of the old republic (aka KOTOR) — listen this game is old as hell and looks like ass but its so good. idk what else to say i mean its literally like 20 years old and people are still playing it. there’s a ton of mods you can download to make it look better, but the storyline and the plot twist hold up as one of the all time greats. i’ve replayed it and the sequel multiple times. even if you don’t like star wars, worth it.

stardew valley — HELLO THIS GAME IS SO CUTE its essentially just harvest moon and yes it’s pixel graphics but it’s so charming and the characters are very enchanting. there’s not a ton of story but it’s still worth a play as it’s just very soothing and earnest. i’ve logged like 200+ hours in this game lmao

hopefully you haven’t heard of all of these already!! i love all of these games and i love sharing story-based recs because there aren’t a lot of them out there. if anyone knows of any other good ones please drop ur thoughts in the replies!

#ask #anon #the way i wrote so much here oh my god #im a gamer girl i have to accept it

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rouge-the-bat · 4 years

Text

OOPS I HAD STARTED THIS THEN SAVED AS A DRAFT TO FINISH LATER BUT THEN FORGOT SO ITS. BEEN A BIT SINCE I WAS ACTUALLY TAGGED FOR THIS LMAO

ANYWAYS i was tagged by @skayforrest :'33

Rules: Please make your own text post when answering these to avoid long posts. Highlight/bold what applies to you!

for me to make it easier for me to read im going for:

bold: definitely me :3

italics: kinda me!

strikethrough: not me at All

(subscript parenthesis): my comments! (bc im very rambly lol)

also changing // between different phrases to ♡♡ to make it easier for me to distinguish between phrases too owo

♡ Appearance ♡

I am over 5’5 ♡♡ I wear glasses/contacts ♡♡ I have blonde hair ♡♡ I prefer loose clothing over tight clothing ♡♡ I have one or more piercings (my ears!) ♡♡ I have at least one tattoo (i want to get one of a drawing ive made soon tho!) ♡♡ I have blue eyes ♡♡ I have dyed or highlighted my hair (its p much back to normal now tho- and i want to dye it pink someday) ♡♡ I have gotten plastic surgery ♡♡ I have or had braces ♡♡ I sunburn easily ♡♡ I have freckles ♡♡ I paint my nails (not super often but i have fun doing it occasionally owo!) ♡♡ I typically wear makeup (i rarely do and usually its just lispstick, with maybe eyshadow and/or eyeliner) ♡♡ I don’t often smile (i can be really smiley sometimes but i dont interact with others much (esp irl) so i tend to not emote a whole lot) ♡♡ I am pleased with how I look (im cute round n chubby!!) ♡♡ I prefer nike to adidas (i literally dont care) ♡♡ I wear baseball caps backwards

♡ Hobbies & Interests ♡

I play a sport (i play... wii sports and real life bowling sometimes at most :'3) ♡♡ I can play an instrument (its been a really long time but i learned clarinet from school band) ♡♡ I am artistic ♡♡ I know more than one language (id like to learn some tho, like japanese, french, and/or korean maybe?) ♡♡ I have won a trophy in some sort of competition (never a Literal trophy :O) ♡♡ I can cook or bake without a recipe ♡♡ I know how to swim ♡♡ I enjoy writing (i like to but school has made me anxious anytime i try now ;w;) ♡♡ I can do origami ♡♡ I prefer movies to tv shows ♡♡ I can execute a perfect somersault ♡♡ I enjoy singing (exclusively for singing along, i dont really ever sing on my own lol) ♡♡ I could survive in the wild on my own ♡♡ I have read a new book series this year ♡♡ I enjoy spending time with my friends (who wouldnt!! esp with my friends, theyre amazing :'3) ♡♡ I travel during school or work breaks (id like to travel more..) ♡♡ I can do a handstand

♡ Relationships ♡

I am in a relationship (my girlfriend is so wonderful 🥰) ♡♡ I have been single for over a year (been dating my gf for almost 2 full years now!) ♡♡ I have a crush (fictional crushes count right? bc i have a million of those lol) ♡♡ I have a best friend I have known for ten years ♡♡ My parents are together ♡♡ I have hooked up with my best friend (thats meaning sexual right? bc im sex repulsed and so is my gf whos my best friend so, absolutely not lol) ♡♡ I am adopted ♡♡ My crush has confessed to me (im p much always the first to confess lol) ♡♡ I have had a long-distance relationship (hopefully someday tho it wont be long distance :'3) ♡♡ I am an only child (dear god no i have. 1 full brother, 3 half brothers, 1 half sister, and 2 or 3 step brothers gjkxjfk) ♡♡ I give advice to my friends (im not the best with advice but i try when i can!!) ♡♡ I have made an online friend (all of my current friends are online!) ♡♡ I met up with someone I have met online (GOD I WISH)

♡ Aesthetics ♡

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell ♡♡ I have watched the sunrise (many times, after being awake all night bc im p mych nocturnal lol) ♡♡ I enjoy rainy days (god i love rain so much) ♡♡ I have slept under the stars (iirc im p sure ive slept in a tent for going camping before ??? but my memory sucks so im not sure if that happened or i just always wanted to gjkdjg) ♡♡ I meditate outside (maybe i should try that sometime..) ♡♡ The sound of chirping calms me ♡♡ I enjoy the smell of the beach (ive been to a beach just a couple times.. i dont remember what it smelled like) ♡♡ I know what snow tastes like (i eat snow EVERY time it snows here, esp to make snow cream) ♡♡ I listen to music to fall asleep (on occasion! always instrumental stuff, sometimes meant for relaxing or sometimes just a comfort song from a game i love) ♡♡ I enjoy thunderstorms ♡♡ I enjoy cloud watching ♡♡ I have attended a bonfire ♡♡ I pay close attention to colors (ofc ! i love colors and graphic design is my passion- but like Actually, im not quoting the meme lol) ♡♡ I find mystery in the ocean ♡♡ I enjoy hiking on nature paths (would REALLY need to be in the mood for it) ♡♡ Autumn is my favourite season (close ! i love the chilly air and aesthetic of autumn as well, but winter is my ultimate comfort season <3)

♡ Miscellaneous ♡

I can fall asleep in moving vehicles ♡♡ I am the mom friend (mom friend mode can activate on Occasion, but usually im silly bastard friend) ♡♡ I am involved in extracurricular activities (im not in school) ♡♡ I enjoy mexican food ♡♡ I can drive a stick-shift (i still havent learned how to drive yet owo;;) ♡♡ I believe in true love (probably not in a typical sense?) ♡♡ I make up scenarios to fall asleep (oh no, i make up scenarios constantly in my head throughout the day, i get way too invested in them so they usually keep me up if i think about them when trying to sleep) ♡♡ I sing in the shower ♡♡ I wish I lived in a superhero movie (i def wanna live in some fictional worlds, but superhero movies arent things im usually into) ♡♡ I have a canopy above my bed ♡♡ I am multiracial (im not super familiar with my ancestry rn, so idk. would like to know sometime tho) ♡♡ I am a redhead ♡♡ I own at least 3 dogs/cats (rn i have 2 dogs and 3 cats!)

and uhhh ill tag @spiiderbiites @miphelda @kipokin @queerplyke @ameila if yall wanna do it :3? (if yalld like i can go thru n supply a version of this without all of my font edits and comments!) AH WHOOPS I GOT A URL MESSED UP BUT XENOLEAF U CAN DO TOO IF U WANT

#starry asks #uh not exactly an ask but ill use that tag for tag games like this #ive been tagged in a few of these kinda posts so im trying to catch up rn !!

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kkulmoon · 3 years

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Genshin Impact is actually a relatively new game, but it's super addicting so I guess it's my favorite currently 😂 i play a lot of games just to stress relieve, it help me to turn off my brain and give me a sense of accomplishment LOL and also to like... not feel lonelt during the pandemic cuz i been locked in for like a year now LMAO

And yeh the US situation is.... haaaaa.... i hate it here, save me TT^TT

Anyway!! YES JOON IS HUGE HE'S GETTING MORE AND MORE BUFF AND I'M GOING TO LOSE MY SHIT AND JK WHEN THAT HAIR GO UP INTO A MAN BUN, YOU ARE GONNA GET A FUNERAL INVITATION FROM ME CUZ I'LL BE 💀 the amount of time they make me choke on my own spit and water.... it's dangerous ;-;

And hush you cant lose a skill that quickly lmao, i havent ride a bike for like 5 years that doesnt mean I can no longer do it. And you can always open up request for a short while to get some ideas from people 👀

And oooo "sweet home" i heard a lot of good thing about it but i havent watch/read it yet, cuz i dont handle gore very well. And since sweet home is a webtoon, if netflix decide to not give it a second season, even tho they should, you can alway read the webtoon ;)

As for rant, not really, i just been very lazy now that second semester start and i just dont wanna do ANYTHING lol especially since it's my last year

My new year resolution... I wanna be happier *cue blue and grey* a lil too personal but uhhh TW i have severe depression and anxiety and all those good shit mental illness lol and I'm actually really bad at being nice to myself, so... i want to become better, i wanna unlearn negative things, i want to become happier, just a little every day, i'm much happier now than I was before so :D dont worry, love.

What about you? What's your new year resolution? 👀

Questions of the day!! If you could ask someone (dead or alive) a question that they HAVE to answer truthfully, who and what would you ask? -Valley's Lilies @valley-lilies

rippp that’s the reason why I am purposefully staying away from games cause I get stuck on things so easily and i KNOW there are tons of games out there that would catch my interest 😭😭😭 i’ll stay gameless for a few more years until i’m more disciplined lol, but honestly if that’s how you wind down and relax, go for it!!! i feel you so much on the lonely part, like now the bad kind of loneliness is creeping up on me 😳i’ve been locked up for a year too!!! i cannot believe it, it actually blows my mind, i’ve stayed indoors pretty much a whole year, it’s actually sick 😓

honey 🥺 i’m so sorry about it ;(((, like I really never know how to talk about it anymore cause saying the same things feels redundant, but hopefully things get better soon... let me tell you!!!! before the new year came I was only prepared to deal with joon’s big boy summer (or whole year for that matter) and then jungkook comes out NOWHERE, like i was doing good, what do you want from me!!!!!!??? i lost my marbles over that turtleneck manbun live, i can’t actually imagine seeing that now with his blonde hair I’ll just 💃💃→🪦,,,,, but back to the topic of buff joon WE ARE GETTING A LIVE TOMORROW AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i’m so excited for that, i’ve missed him a lot 🤧 also hun i’ve learned it the hard way but i refrain from drinking anything while watching bts perform or like their content, something ALWAYS happens 😭

uhmmm yeah i agree, but i’ve only been making gifs for 6 months 🥴i literally remade the gifs for my recent joon comps a whole of 3 times before i was kinda of satisfied 🤡ooohh i never know about requests cause i don’t think anyone would want to ask me to do something 👀 so i’ll just gif whatever i find 🤪

sweet home was without a doubt of the best series I watched in 2020, and yeah I’ll read the webtoon if they don’t make a second season, but i want the 2nd season SOOOOO BADDDDD , i’m really attached to the characters and i think the actors did a great job too 🥺, on the topic of series? what were you favourite series of 2020?

let’s raise a glass to that “To doing nothing!” 🥂i really feel you, but i’m just pushing myself and basically using my classmates’ motivation to keep me going, and soon i should feel better 😩you should also try to hold on!! no need to do great in school or anything but you’re close to end friend, you’ve got it!

that’s such a great resolution! and you’ve already done a lot of the work by recognizing the patterns, i’m sending you all the support 💖💓💞💖💓💞💖💓💞💖💓💞💖💓💞💖💓💞💖💓💞💖💓💞💖💓💞💖💓💞💖💓💞💖💓💞 and you’re right, be kinder to yourself and happier a little bit every single day and you’ll do great and if you don’t manage on some days that’s okay too love, there’s also kindness and love in letting yourself “fail” sometimes 🥰

oooo for this year I want to finish my first year of uni having passed all of my courses, i wan to get my driver’s license before the summer, move out, learn how to do a backflip lmao, and finish the two songs i have left to complete my ep 😌hmmmm yeah i think that’s all tbh

ahhh god that’s such a hard question T^T , hmmm i would ask a question to my mother, the question would be “Do you regret living your live for you kids?” , i won’t get into the details but she sacrificed A LOT for me and my brother and I would be curious to know how she really feels about it.... what about you? who would it be and what question?

hmmm question of the day, since you like to game, if you got to the chance to have a game made just for you, what would it be and what would you include in it?

#oohh is this the longest answer i've ever written to you 😳#valley's lilies 💞#anontrail #asktrail #tw: depression #tw: mental health

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tobesolonely · 4 years

Note

Are you still looking for sad songs? 1) my man-delacey 2) sick of losing soulmates-dodie 3) moral of the story-ashe 4)unkiss me- maroon 5 5) late night feelings- mark Ronson/lykke li 6) mirrored heart-fka twigs 7)all I wanted-paramore 8)under the table- banks 9) melt my heart to stone- adele 10) sugar-brockhampton I hope you enjoy! Hopefully some of them you've never heard before :)

yes i am always looking for sad songs! WOW YOU ARE INCREDIBLE!!! Thank you for all these song recommendations theres soooo many i havent heard of before, i love broadening my music library ! u have a great taste in music anon <3

#anon #song recs #your taste?? impeccable

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shhh-no-ones-home · 3 years

Text

change of plans javier pena x reader

+++++++++

this is my first time writing for javi so please be kind lol. i wrote this about a week ago after i started narcos but i only just finished season one and havent gotten into two yet. i do have more ideas and prompts for him though so hopefully it gets better

Song: I'm bad at life by falling in reverse

tag list: @cynic-spirit +++++++++

I bounced my leg nervously under the table as we ate. Looking to javier every once in a while as he read over the newspaper in his hand. All I could think about was the damn pregnancy test hiding in my makeup bag in his medicine cabinet. I had just finished washing my hands when he had gotten home from work and didn't have the chance to see the results. It was killing me. Part of me wanted to excuse myself and go look but I was worried he'd catch on. After all, it had only been twenty minutes and he'd come in the door before I was even out of the bathroom. It was suspicious to say the least. I breathed deeply as I tapped the fork against my lip, my eyes making their way to the wall behind him.

"How was work?"

I asked, not looking to him as he perked up at the sound of my voice.

"Oh good, you weren't talking and I was afraid you were mad at me."

He sighed out, a smile making its way to his face. I tried my best to smile back but took a bite so it would seem more believable.

"Nope, just thinking."

I said and be raised a brow. Oops.

"About what?"

Shit.

"The wedding."

I said and be let out a nervous laugh.

"Still planning?"

He asked and I nodded.

"Only just."

I said and he looked back to me confused.

"What do you mean? I thought you said you knew exactly what you wanted?"

He inquired and I shrugged, putting the fork down.

"I thought I did but I was going through magazines earlier with roxy and she made a very valid point that I should ask your opinion first. Ya know, before making any decisions. It is both of our wedding after all."

He looked worried for a second.

"You told her about us?"

He asked and I shook my head.

"No, I just told her I accidently got it in the mail and wanted to know if she wanted to go through it with me. But we got to talking and she said that if she had to plan a wedding she would want her future spouse to be by her side helping make every decision and I think she was right. We should both be doing this."

He reached across the table and took my hand in his.

"You know I want this to be perfect for you. All I care about is you being happy. Hell, you know id do this in a courthouse tomorrow if you asked me to."

He said and I could feel my face go flush, sending him a genuine smile.

"I love you javier pena. So damn much."

I said, looking up at him as he stood, coming to me and kissing me lightly before heading to the kitchen for more food.

"I love you too Hermosa."

He said, back to me. I smiled to myself for a second before feeling sick.

"I'll be back."

I said, running to the bathroom, slamming the door shut, and falling to the floor in front of the toilet. I coughed out as I spilled my guts. Aaaand we're back to why I took the test earlier. God I wanted this to be over already. I had been lucky the past three or four days that every time I was sick it had been while javi was at work. Guess things were quick to change.

"You okay?"

He asked, a soft knock at the door following his words. I breathed deeply as I flushed the toilet.

"Yeah, just go finish dinner and I'll be out in a sec."

I said, hearing him walk away. I closed my eyes tightly before reaching for my toothbrush and running it through my mouth. When it was back in the cup I stared at myself in the mirror.

"Javi, I'm pregnant and we might have to move the wedding date."

I whispered to myself before groaning and rubbing my hands over my face. As they rested against my lips I glanced at the medicine cabinet. I should look. No. I should wait. I shook my head, placing my hands on the sink and stepping back. God why was this so hard. I stood back up, looking over my body in the mirror. What if it's positive? I stood to the side, smoothing my shirt out against my stomach and frowning. Damn, maybe it was positive. Surely I would've noticed even this small change. But then again, was it change? Or have I always looked like this? I shook my head.

"Fuck it."

I said lightly, pulling the cabinet open and snatching my makeup bag off the shelf. I dug into it before pulling the test out, upside down. As I flipped it over I heard the door nob rattle.

"Mi amor, you've been in there for a while. Are you sure everything is alright?"

He asked as I stared at the test in my hand. I didn't know what to do other than look up at him as he pushed the bathroom door open, like a deer in headlights.

"What is that?"

He asked, brows drawn.

"I'm pregnant?"

I said through a nervous laugh, trying to smile in case it would rub off on him. His face fell and I wish I could say it was shocked but I really couldn't read him. He just stood there frozen for a second. After what felt like an hour I flashed the test to him but his gaze didn't leave my own. Then I watched as he turned and walked away from me.

"Javi?"

I asked, following him back out into the living room. He stood in front of the couch, hands perched on his hips.

"Baby talk to me."

I said softly, looking to him a little scared. He huffed, shaking his head and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Javi?"

I tried again and he finally looked to me.

"You're pregnant?"

He asked and I shrugged, tossing the test at him and him catching it against his chest.

"So says the stick."

I torted back, watching him look down at it. Two pale blue lines. He didn't skip a beat before falling into the couch, tucking the stick under his leg as he reached for his pack.

"I need a minute."

He said, lighting the cigarette. I laughed, falling down beside him, hearing the leather creak as it squished beneath me.

"How do you think I feel?"

I asked, dropping my head back and looking over the ceiling.

"We've been so careful."

He said, blowing smoke out into the air and I could feel it burn in my nose.

"I guess not."

I said and he snorted, rubbing his eye with his free fingers.

"What are we gonna do?"

He asked and I deadpanned.

"What are we gonna do?"

I repeated a little angry.

"We can't have a baby."

He said and looked at him in disbelief.

"Why not?! I'm not some hooker you picked up on the street javi."

I hissed out.

"I know."

He said in defense.

"I'm your fiance."

I reminded him.

"I know!"

He called and I froze. He had never risen his voice at. I shook my head.

"Then what is the problem?!"

I yelled back, trying to examine him as he sent me a testing look. I guess I didn't have quite the poker face I thought I did because when he realized I was scared be softened.

"Mi amor,"

He sighed, reaching for my hand.

"I never thought I'd be here again."

He looked to me a little sad, rubbing his thumb in circles.

"I damn near made it to the alter once before but that feels like a lifetime ago. And when I met you I told myself I wasn't gonna do that again. But I'm here anyway."

I lifted his hand and kissed his palm gently.

"I don't want anything to happen to you."

He took the test out from under his leg before sliding into my side. I watched him intently as he looked down to our hands connected.

"I don't want anything to happen to either of you."

He said sliding his other hand gently onto my stomach and I immediately wanted to cry.

"I love you javier."

I said leaning in and kissing him softly. When he pulled away he rested his hand against my cheek.

"We've been keeping our relationship a secret for a year javi. I think it's time to let our friends know we're more than roommates."

I said amused and he laughed, dropping his forehead onto my chest with a sigh.

"I guess Steve can finally stop pestering me, wanting to know if I've done anything with you yet."

I snorted, raking my fingers through his hair.

"What? He didn't believe you when you told him we werent sleeping together?"

He shook his head against me before lifting it and smiling at me.

"Not even a little bit."

I leaned in and kissed him again.

"I think he should've stopped asking after two months, don't you?"

I asked and he snorted.

"Clearly you don't know Steve."

I shook my head in amusement.

"Guess not."

#wattpad #x reader #javier pena #narcos #netflix #imagines #one shots #297

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