#how do I accept this love????

[b0rtney]

Yall help my mother has finally learned how to love me and im trying to let it reach the littlest parts of me that have always felt unloveable

#she just came in. put two water bottles in the nightstand. said ‘here. ur gonna be dehydrated I haven’t seen u drink water all day’ #(I love water) #day before yesterday she made me breakfast. she has not made me breakfast more than a handful of times since I was 7. not bc she didn’t want #to she was just always working. #(I am usually too nauseas to eat breakfast) #two months ago she came into my room while I was still asleep in the early morning to tuck my hair behind my ear and tell me she was going #to an appt and she’d be back around noon. #(my earliest memory is being left home alone not even my siblings left with me) #how do I accept this love????

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[p4nishers]

can we talk about how much queer and trans joy was this season? maggie and nina. they/them muriel, saraquel, beelzebub, even GOD. "you're a good lad" "im not actually, either". that one shopkeeper and his non binary spouse, played by a non binary actor. beelzebub and gabriel. shax, nina and maggie all thinking azi and crowley were together. also yes i'm gonna mention: crowley and aziraphale's kiss. it's just, i get that everyone's hurt and so am i but can we please focus on how beautiful this season was to us? we got so much and i'm so happy, despite the ending.

#i love queer people i love queer joy i love this show i love us sm #also crowley deliberately avoiding using 'mr' in the 1827 flashback cause she was SO CLEARLY presenting fem #this season was literally just queer people doing crazy shit for each other and im actually emotional over how accepted everyone was #in the show and how fucking easy it is to have queer and trans characters on screen and just let them be. im gonna ugly sob #good omens #good omens s2 #azicrow #good omens season 2 #good omens s2 spoilers #go s2 spoilers #go spoilers #go s2 #ineffable bureaucracy #ineffable spouses #i just realized god is actually they/she but that's cool af too #AND ELSBETH AND WEE MORAG TOO WOOOHOO GO SAPPHICS

[frogs-in3-hills]

hi does anyone else think about april throwing herself over leo to shield him in the shredder strikes back despite having no weapons no way to defend herself and probably assuming she was going to die. does anyone think about that all the time. every day. uncontrollably

[ID: Digital fanart of Ninja Turtles 2003 depicting a scene from The Shredder Strikes Back part 2. April kneels over an injured Leo, cradling his head and looking back over her shoulder to snarl viciously at the camera, though there is obvious fear in her eyes. Her hair has partially fallen out of her bun, the loose strands sticking to her face with sweat. She has a cut on her cheek. Only a portion of Leo’s face can be seen from behind her shoulder. He looks up at her with a sad, pained expression. He has a swollen, bloody shiner on his cheek in addition to other cuts and bruises on the rest of his body. They are on the wooden floor of a dark attic. End ID.]

#she’s so protective of her fambly man….. i think she should have gotten to call that wasp a bitch in ‘‘april’s artifact’’ #anyway. #you ever think about how in almost every version befriending the turtles leads to april having these huge moments of loss #losing her shop her job her home her father her LIFE and yet she accepts it all bc she jsut decided to fucking love them more than anything #take my hand. do you think about it…… #tmnt #tmnt 03 #tmnt 2k3 #tmnt 2003 #april o'neil #leonardo tmnt #silly sully art #described #cw blood #she rlly asked is anyone going to adopt these weird turtle children and then didn’t wait for an answer

[wilchur]

I've seen a lot of people talk about how the game doesn't give you any leeway when you play The Dark Urge, how it makes it very clear that Durge was A Bad Person, but I haven't seen it pointed out that Sceleritas seems VERY well versed in gaslighting the hell out of them and steering Durge away from any doubt or guilt in regards to their actions. Makes me think that they've probably had those types of conversations before because Durge actually always had a soft spot, only it got smaller and smaller in time. I have not had the opportunity to see the Heal cutscene yet, but I've got the butler in my camp now and he had some interesting things to say, like

[Durge: Can you tell me the worst thing I ever did?

Sceleritas Fel: There was one time you gave a beggar some coin while we were en route to the Devil's Fee.

Sceleritas Fel: You didn't kick him or spot on him or anything! I was so shocked I almost fainted!

Sceleritas Fel: I still have nightmares about it to this day. But I'm sure you only did so to lower the suspicions of the Flaming Fist. Surely?]

and it struck me because tossing a coin to a beggar is a bit of a thoughtless act isn't it? You don't put much thought into it, you just see someone in need and you do it. Out of empathy, generosity, something The Murder Incarnate should not be capable of. Sceleritas' uncertainty of Durge's reasoning for it totally convinces me it was NOT intentional. A simple act of kindness that slipped out.

ALSO

[Sceleritas Fel: The only way for a Butler to die is if we are not of use to our Master. But you have always needed abundant assistance.]

They always needed abundant assistance. Why? Because they kept slipping out of Bhaal's grasp? We know they did at least once, with Gortash. Maybe it was not the first time, maybe there are more "Letters of Forgiveness" tucked away somewhere.

To me pre-tadpole Durge is just terribly mindbroken and indoctrinated person hooked onto the sense of safety, purpose and acceptance of their dark side that the cultists and their father give them. Yeah they enjoy murder, gore and all that. That's the curse of their blood, but I don't think they were ever entirely consumed by it. Morality, guilt and empathy have always been there on the edge of their mind. Losing their memories (depending on player choices I know, but bear with me) was what they needed for them to be finally brought forward.

#i am very normal about this #its 3 am #i just hate the “inherently bad baddie character” trope sorry #durge is my little meow meow #imagine everyone treating you like a monster all your life because there's something Wrong with you #and then these wackos come along and are like “actually its all good we love you please do more of that” #unconditional acceptance is one hell of a drug lemme tell you #that's exactly how all those repugnant online communities get created #the dark urge #bg3 spoilers #bg3 #durge spoilers

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wen ning #wei wuxian #wen qing #jiang cheng #Truly Massive disclaimer here: I am a Jiang Cheng enjoyer. I like his character. I enjoy that he is very flawed and volatile. #This episode of the audio drama has a lot of great breakdown scenes featuring JC - and they all deserve a feature. #But underlying this comic is a small meta comment of 'ah man I have too many comics of JC just wailing sadly' #My goal is to draw 6-8 comics per episode - I sometimes have to truncate and cut good scenes out. #Especially when a large majority is just different flavours of trauma and toxic relationships to your self-worth. #I would also like to make a note here that just because you lose the ability to do something that is very tied to your core identity- #-does not mean your life is over. It will feel like the end of the world. It will send you into a spiral of grief. It will hurt so badly. #Sometimes we do not realize how tied up our identities can be in certain things until we are cut loose. #You don't lose yourself. I promise the pain will fade in time. I promise you will find other things to tether you. I promise you will be ok #Life moves forwards. Time moves forwards. You move forwards. #Ego death just means an opportunity for ego rebirth. You are never committed to being the same person forever. #To wrap this around to JC: Yeah I love the twist with the core transfer but man I would have loved to see JC accept the loss. #Obviously it happens for a reason (story) but I can have my AUs. I can have these 'what-ifs'. #described in alt text #I'm trying it out! *please* give me feedback - I want to eventually Add image ID to all of these comics one day

[damconcha]

One of my favorite things about the ASL Brothers is the fact that Ace was the one brought out the sake and proposed becoming brothers.

Not Luffy or Sabo but Ace.

Ace, who believes he is unlovable, Ace who believes that his blood is dirty, Ace who believes that he didn’t deserve to be born, Ace who thinks that his life is worthless, Ace who believes that his mere existence is a crime.

And yet Ace saw these two boys and approached them without apprehension or fear of rejection even though he was proposing something as irrevocable, something as bonding as brotherhood

#not to mention ace had these thoughts bc this is how the WORLD sees him #that world put these thoughts into his head and made him believe that #but sabo and luffy only see him. not gol d. or even portgas d. but just ace. #the way ace knew that they wanted this just as much as he did #like he is theirs and they are his and he knew that #i remember learning that ace proposed it and being *so surprised* #cause we had just seen that ace had no self worth and hated himself #but he knew that they accepted him and that they wanted him in their lives #and he decided to make it permanent #they are his family. they are his safe place. they love him unconditionally. #DO YOU GUYS GET WHAT IM TRYING TO SAY #goddd these brothers make me so ill #it’s 2am so if this doesn’t make sense that’s why #i am thinking so many thoughts #i’ll probably delete this later #portgas d. ace #asl brothers #one piece #concha speaks #asl rambles #concha posts

[chloesimaginationthings]

Happy Birthday!!

TYSM FOR ALL THE BIRTHDAY WISHES! YOU GUYS ARE TOO KIND 😭💜

#ask reply #IM ACTUALLY floored over how much love and support yall have shown me #I WOULD of been happy with one birthday wish but yall blew it out of the water 😭 #I can’t possibly reply to all of you but know I’ve read each one!! #I can never gage how much I am apart of a community #especially seeing I’m not particularly a social person which always worries me #BUT GUESS those worries are squashed cause I feel very accepted in now 😭 #TYSM to all of you again #I hope I can keep making art yall enjoy for many years to come! 💜💜 #it’s the very least I can do for all your kind words and endless support 💗

[bakudekublogblog]

kacchan really is so funny for being like BUT WHAT ABOUT BAKUDEKU CANON when he finds out izuku is quirkless

#bakudeku #bkdk #mha spoilers #bnha spoilers #mha leaks #he really is like WHAT ABOUT US #WHAT ABOUT EVERYTHING WE BEEN THROUGH #izuku is such a Gabriella too he DO be running away from his feelings every chance he gets #what about US IZUKU WHAT ABOUT OUR MARRIAGE #WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS MANGA IF WE ARENT MARRIED #and Izuku is like oh no my baby is on too many painkillers hahaha he’s not proposing to me right now that’s silly #if he was proposing that would mean he loved me and I can’t accept that reality I’m too much of a burden #I can’t think of myself long enough to realize I am valued #two months ago Izuku was like :) I’m so blessed kacchan talks to me almost normally #how is he supposed to process he was just proposed to by that same boy #like he’s also just gone through almost losing him he’s probably like I’m lucky he’s alive and breathing near me #and kacchan’s like I LOVE YOU I WANT YOU FOREVER #Izuku is overwhelmed ok give him some slack

[haunted-xander]

One thing I really love about Marcille is that despite her deep fear of outliving her loved ones, she never, never let's it get in the way of her making bonds and getting close to people. She loves deeply and strongly and she doesn't try to supress that! She embraces it wholeheartedly! Her friends are so important to her and she's not ashamed or scared of it!

Actually, out of all the characters, I'd say Marcille is one of the ones who care the most about bonds of friendship. She's angry at Namari for leaving after Falin got eaten and holds that grudge up until Namari helps defeat the Undine (and therefore having 'proven' herself). She's shocked and upset when Chilchuck explains his policy of payment and that he's not really here bc of friendship. She puts a lot of focus on the party being a Group Of Friends rather than a team of hired hands dedicated to the specific role(s) they are paid for. Which of course makes sense since she joined the party to begin with because of her friend! To her, the party has always been 'Falin and her brothers' friend group' rather than a hired party. (A little reminder: Marcille was the most recent member when the story starts. She never met the previous members who left so the team of Laios, Falin, Chilchuck, Namari and 'Shuro' is what she's always known it as.)

When she becomes dungeon lord, the thing that manages to snap her out of the Winged Lions grasp is the earnest care and love her party is showing her. Literally 'power of friendship'ed their way through the Lions hold and gave her her clarity of mind back.

And!!!! At the end of the feast right before they're about to attempt to revive Falin again, she says!!! this!!!!

She's ready to accept that Falin might not come back, even after everything. The entire story she's been running away from death, from having to outlive her loved ones (in this case: Falin). But here she is, ready to let her stay dead if this last attempt doesn't work.

And it's not giving up. It's realizing that she did all she could, and that it's okay. Because she still got to meet and be friends with Falin. That time with her might be just a speck in the length of life Marcille will have to live still, but it still happened and that's what matters.

It's not about escaping death; it's about cherising the moments before it.

#there is something in here about how the 'tragic immortality' trope is done w/ her #in that the tragedy doesnt lie in the fact shes denying herself of bonds bc she knows theyre temporary #its the fact she refuses to and is 'setting herself up' for repeated losses #i have soooo many feelings about her whole deal #OH ALSO. i didnt mention it in the post itself bc its not the Point BUT #i love that despite her journey by all means being about accepting the losses she has and will experience #her goal hasnt changed #she still strives for a way to even out lifespans #her friends have promised to do all they can to live as long as is possible #just so she wont be alone for as long #in a way saying that her efforts werent in vain even if there isnt any direct results just yet. that it can be possible #ooough marcille. marcille. bbygirl i love u #marcille donato #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi spoilers #delicious in dungeon spoilers #dunmeshi spoilers #like so many spoilers #xander rambles

[kurozu501]

do you ever just remember how one of the most effective things parvis said to get silence to lose faith in saria was essentially "do you really think she would ever choose YOU over everything?" and silence with her low self esteem really didn't believe saria would.

Then in the end saria really did choose them over everything, left her defense director job and her whole life up to that point behind for the sake of silence and ifrit. and silence still doesnt even know. do you ever think about that and lose your mind a little bit.

#turns out my pre lone trail jitters translate to reread the rhine lab manhua and lose my mind over it all over again #its one of those stories i could write multiple essays on #like silence's lack of self love #do you ever notice how in the final scene when she makes her big declaration about curing ifrit joyce and 'the many many infected' #she never mentions curing herself #how she runs into the flames looking for ifrit with no regard for her own safety during the diabolic crisis #even the funny gag moment with joyce is based on silence overworking herself and joyce pushing her to take care of herself #and here where parvis basically says saria would never choose you and silence instantly just accepts that as true #of course saria wouldn't choose her #even her big grudge against saria is anger on behalf of ifrit not for herself #this owl has such a big heart and so much love for everyone but herself #arknights #olivia silence #saria

[puddii-ng]

i love how fluffy this stage was.. so pretty ♡

#AAUGHUGHUDFGFHGUFYHYFDGFYHFGD #I HAD ANOTHER PIECE PLANNED FOR THIS BUT IT. DID NOT GO HOW I WANTED IT TO #please accept this sketch in its place for the time being #thats all to say #sillies #cuties even #enstars #fanart #my art #ensemble stars #shu itsuki #mika kagehira #shumika #i love shumika #so much #they mean so much to me #le temps des fleurs #enstars fanart #valkyrie enstars #if i took a bite out of this drawing do you think anyone would notice #i love drawing in pink #hopefully this makes up for my last valkyrie digital piece i wasnt happy with how shu came out in it

[gayspacemonk]

the thing is, the "I would eat my arms and legs for zoro" scene wasn't just for shits and giggles. yes, it was to show just how devoted luffy is to his friends, but it also shows how he's naturally an great captain that he immediately understands zeff and says without hesitation "oh yeah I would do that and beyond for my crew"

#zolu #it's the small things #i really like how luffy was portrayed in the live action i could talk about it for hours #i know it's different from his portrayal in the anime but also i think it kinda had to be this way #like in anime an constantly high energy character such as luffy works just fine but in live action it doesn't make much sense #anyway i think iñaki did a great job and on that stance i do not accept different opinions i will fight you #opla #one piece #one piece live action #also bc hes madly in love w zoro but we all knew that already

[thejasontoddarchives]

Batman (1940-) #426

Batman (1940-) #427

Task Force Z #6 (2022)

You tell him, Jason.

#the mistakes in question: trusting and trying to help someone who was supposed to love and protect *him* #and wanting a parent/family who wants and accepts him #all things considered (re: gotham war) I think I can safely confirm his biggest mistake by far was trusting Bruce #jason todd #robin jason #red hood #dc #batman: a death in the family #aditf #task force z #tfz #aditf was just Jason having all of his worst fears confirmed before dying an equally *physically* painful death #he is not a priority to Bruce. Bruce doesn’t understand his pain. his biological mother heartlessly sold him out. he is without a family. #but also #how the fuck do you accidentally run into your 15 year old kid who fled to a foreign country after you two had a fight #accidentally.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Oh Skinzun, we're really in it now...

#poorly drawn svsss #SVSSS #shen qingqiu #Skinzun #This was how I announced I was ending my twitter hiatus #Honestly this is why I love the SVSSS fandom. The open permission and acceptance to draw weird shit and have fun. #SQQ as a fleshy skin-cat creature with heavy breasts? And his disciples as milk hungry kittens? Why not! #Do you think love can bloom in the bosoms of skinzun? #I think this might be the fastest I've ever drawn and colours something too. Is it an omen of things to come? #This is going in my queue and if I cant finish today's comic on time it gets uploaded instead <3 #Genuine apologies to people who are avoiding this meme. I really hope you had it tagged before now.

[bernard-the-rabbit]

How do you live?

#anyway miyazaki movies are really like #what if you accept that your legacy is not under your control #that what you expect may not end up happening. #What if you remember #what if you accept that you have to let go the people you love #what if legacy is heavy on your shoulders #what if you can choose #and i can't be normal about it #my trashy art #the boy and the heron #the boy and the heron fanart #how do you live #how do you live fanart #studio ghibli