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watevermelon · 4 years

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Cheater!Akaashi x Reader

✧ Summary: (Continuation) Akaashi is still in love with you and begs for your forgiveness.

➳ A/N: It surprised me how many people wanted a part 2 to Akaashi’s initial cheating imagine, but here we are!! Ask and you shall receive. People want good things for the reader and I agree -- that’s too bad this is what we got instead LMAO ➳ Masterlist ➳ Part One

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You could’ve gone the rest of your high school career without ever having to hear the word volleyball ever again. The only interest you had in it was from your ex-boyfriend and now any reminder just left a bitter pang in the pit of your stomach.

Thankfully, Akaashi was not in your class and there actually were not any volleyball players in your homeroom. But that didn’t stop them from popping up in your peripherals or in some rumours around school.

Some of the members of the volleyball team would shoot looks at you, whether out of pity or curiosity, you couldn't care less. You fostered your own relationships with the athletes individually - whether it was Haruki’s strange brand of humor, Sarukui’s constant references to memes, or Wataru’s lopsided smiles - you knew them.

You shared, or rather suffered together, in a class with Konoha the year before. A bright first year with no friends yet, Konoha was a nice person and the first one of the entire volleyball team to actually speak to you. He was even the one to introduce you to both Akaashi and Bokuto.

Out of the bunch, Konoha was often a tag-along when it came to hangouts. Whether it was to the arcade or the movie theatres, you and your (ex)boyfriend were quick to include the others. And usually Bokuto and Konoha would come along as well. Looking back, now you felt like an idiot, Konoha was one thing, but Bokuto was always there.

Nonetheless, as a member of the volleyball team, you knew Konoha was close to Akaashi. And there was no doubt which side he would be taking, no matter the moral high-ground.

There was too much history there and there would be no attempt on your part to salvage the friendships you had with the volleyball team.

There was no doubt of the curiosity in everyone’s minds the moment you and Akaashi were broken-up and there was a new person he was holding hands with. It went from general confusion to malicious rumours. Akaashi was the silent boy next door, the person everyone thought to be the perfect boyfriend without a bad bone in his body.

Some said that he broke up with you because you were too mean, too boring, or he simply lost interest in your boring lifestyle.

If only other people knew what he had done to you and Bokuto.

You didn’t believe this was the hill you wanted to die on. And so you ignored the carefully whispers that followed you in the hallways. Your best friends urged you to clear your name - you were the wronged party so why must you be the one to continue suffering? But this was not something you wanted to bring up again, not something you wanted to think about and relive after how painful it was the first time.

But it seemed the volleyball Gods really hated you.

Konoha approached you one day, after class had just ended but before extracurricular clubs were about to start.

“Hi.” He stood beside your locker as you organized your things, “Can we talk?”

You nodded wordlessly, packing up your bookbag and following him out the door. He guided you toward the outside fountain by the athletic building, not many students passing by as they rushed home through the main entrance. A part of you worried that some of the other volleyball members would pass by as you sat there together, but then you realized that it was no longer your problem.

You were seated on the edge, silently watching his pensive expression before he finally turned to you.

“I feel like I owe you an apology.” He started.

“What, why?”

“I could’ve told you a year ago that something strange was happening between Akaashi and Bokuto.”

You felt a lump in your throat, not sure what to say.

He shook his head and turned away, “There was something there even before you two were dating. And so even when Akaashi asked you out, I bet you were surprised?’

You frowned, but agreed quietly with a nod of your head.

“We barely knew each other at the time.”

Konoha scoffed, you were unsure why exactly, but he continued, “Out of curiosity, why did you agree?”

You smiled back wistfully at the memory, remembering how you had excitedly texted your friends on how the Akaashi Keiji had asked you to be his girlfriend.

“It was so simple back then.” You explained, “He was the kind, pretty setter of the nationally-ranked volleyball team. It was shallow, based off of what little I heard about.”

“But you grew to love him.”

“Yeah.” You scoffed, “And look what that brought me.”

“I’m sorry.”

Haruki passed by, texting away on his phone, mind on something else before he spotted the two of you. He waved at Konoha first before his eyes landed on you, widening in obvious surprise before he shot you a genuinely wide smile.

“A lot of them miss you too.” Konoha explained.

“Well sorry, I tend to avoid anything regarding the volleyball team these days.”

“Don’t worry, as much as this sucks, we understand.” Konoha frowned, clenching one of his hands into a fist in annoyance at the situation.

“But I do miss you guys too.” You added.

Konoha smiled, fondly remembering the last time you had all gone to the arcade, “Who could forget the time you beat Haruki at Dance Dance Revolution?”

“He certainly did not.” You recalled, “He kept challenging me all the way up to mid-terms.”

Konoha laughed, no one on the team was able to defeat the libero. And yet here you were, all smiles and confidence radiating off of you, bringing the third year to his knees. It made Konoha wonder if the last year could have been different.

When Akaashi had approached you, Konoha had dutifully stood to the side. The setter was one of his closest friends and never had he approached anyone in the past. He was often busy with the team or Bokuto. And for Akaashi to have asked you, it meant he was serious. And so Konoha had stood to the side, his crush on you mollified if that meant you’d be happier with the setter your age.

If Konoha had the courage to ask you out instead, would you still be close to the volleyball team? Would you be celebrating an anniversary together rather than crying over some lecherous bastard he called a friend?

You sighed and turned to Konoha, registering his earlier words. “Why are you sorry?”

“What?”

“Why are you sorry about what happened with Akaashi?”

“Ah.” He raked an open palm through his hair. “Maybe I could have stopped you.”

“What?” You asked, a confused smile on your face.

“I introduced the two of you after all.” He explained.

“Shut up.” You said in a teasing tone, “No one could have stopped it. I was just dumb enough to fall for him.”

Konoha shot a small grin back at you, “Yeah, you were.”

Sighing loudly, you made sure you had all your stuff before standing. “I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah.” Konoha held out a hand for you to shake, “I hope we can still be friends.”

It was odd, to feel the small blossom of something in the pit of your stomach. This was Konoha, your friend of two years at this point. This was nothing more than him trying his best to affirm your friendship, you reminded yourself.

“I hope so too.”

And, to his credit, he really did try. It was simple things - you had each other’s chat ID’s from your shared class together and, every once in a while, he would send you a meme or a small tidbit of information. You still had things in common, subjects ranging from the current shounen anime and TV shows you kept up with.

It was refreshing to talk to him. Your friends had your back, but the school’s curiosity was not easily satisfied with time. People were naturally nosy, eager to know the true reasons behind your failed relationship. Both you and Akaashi had yet to even address it and it only got worse with Bokuto’s increasing PDA.

Thankfully, no one was audacious enough to actually approach you about the situation. No one else was involved in your relationship and they had no right to actually point fingers.

That was until someone had the audacity to come up to you during the free period, most of everyone on campus enjoying their lunches.

You were sitting at your usual table, waiting for your friends to come from their respective classrooms when one of the more annoying third-years came up to you.

You recognized her as president of the Fukurodani Volleyball fanclub, this should be fun.

“I think you should apologize to Akaashi-san.”

You closed your book and looked up. The usual bustle of the lunchroom was dying down, many people silencing as they turned to the interaction.

“What?”

“For wasting his time - he deserved so much better than you.” She bit out cruelly, the other girls behind her nodding in agreement. “And we all think it’s high time you beg for forgiveness.”

You stood up, pure annoyance rolling off of you. “You don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh? I don’t?” She challenged, “Why would Akaashi date you of all people? And now that the two of you are broken-up he’s been sadder than I’ve ever seen him! This is your fault!”

You slapped your book down and raised your chin, “If that’s what you honestly think then you’re as ignorant as you are a meddling piece of shit.”

The murmurs that followed were obvious, people listening in to your harsh response.

She raised her hand as if to slap you, obviously offended at being called out to the entire lunchroom. “Why I outta --”

But the offending hand never came.

“Leave her alone.”

You could recognize your ex-boyfriend’s voice anywhere. Turning, you saw Bokuto enter your field of vision and grasp at her wrist in a tight hold, held high above your head. Akaashi was standing on the other side in front of you, an arm-outstretched as if to protect you from the group of girls.

“She didn’t do anything wrong.” Akaashi stated clearly, his gaze was unwavering from the girl, but you were sure that the entire room was now listening in. “It was me.”

She stuttered, attempting to save face, “Akaashi-san, surely that’s not true.”

He turned to her, his blank expression now marginally colder. “You have no idea what you are talking about.”

The mean third-year visibility recoiled, turning to you and apologizing under her breath. Bokuto swung her arm away, his glare enough to scare away the rest of the group, but the room was still obviously silent. Bokuto scanned the rest of the room with his tough stare, many people turning away and vainly attempting to restart their conversations.

Akaashi turned to you, an unsure expression on his face. There were words on the tip of his tongue, you were sure, since he looked as if there were a thousand things he wanted to say.

“I’m not going to say thanks.” You decided to start for him.

“I know.”

You wanted to turn away from him again, no words left for you to say or even scream at him through your anger. This was more than just some ex, you genuinely loved Akaashi and thought he was going to be your future. And from the way he acted, it seemed like the setter wanted that as well.

“There’s something I want to say.” Akaashi stated before you could flee.

“Maybe not here.” Bokuto tugged at your elbow, motioning to the nearest hallway with his chin.

You followed Akaashi wordlessly, Bokuto behind you to make sure you didn’t just run away. You sure that there were more than a few dozen pairs of eyes sticking to the backs of your strange trio.

Akaashi led you to a corner, no one to spy on your conversation unless they hung outside the building from the window. He moved to gently grasp your forearms, but you pushed him off before he could get a firm hold on you.

He frowned, but looked at you intently. “I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

“Okay.” You stated back plainly, “I can’t forgive you.”

Akaashi hesitated, a dejected look on his face. “I know.”

Every bone in your body was screaming at you to walk away, to stop looking at his despondent pout and not fall for his sad look. You remembered the first time you fell in love with his smile - how easy he would flash that beaming expression at you. How Akaashi would tell you how much he loved you and it filled your heart until it overflowed.

And now all of those memories were worth nothing.

Screw being a bigger man, your heart had a thousand things it wanted to say.

“I really loved you, you know.” You pushed at his shoulder, “And now I can’t look at you without feeling like I hate you.”

“I know.”

“I was so in love with you I thought this would be it.” You felt your heart crying, but urged the motion down. “Why kiss me and tell me you love me when you had someone else on your mind the entire time?!”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Akaashi looked just as anguished, trying to reach out to you with shy hands on your shoulders. “Please just listen to me.”

But you shoved him away this time, “What could you possibly have to say to me?”

“I love you.”

His blue eyes bore right into your own, determined and sure of his previous statement. Looking over his shoulder, Bokuto was standing to the side, his gaze stuck on you as well. How the hell was this normal?

“What?”

Akaashi paused, hands coming up to hold you but stopping short again when he realized that was the last thing you needed. “I’m in love with both of you.”

You huffed and took a step back, what could you possibly say to that? There was a sudden flurry of emotions just whirring around your mind - a rush of elation at being loved, immediately squashed down by the annoyed at Akaashi’s selfishness.

You turned to Bokuto, “You believe this?”

The wing-spiker frowned, but affirmed it in a loud voice. “Yes.”

“No.” You started back quickly, shaking your head. “I refuse to be part of this.”

“It’s true.” Akaashi pushed, moving toward you with an ernst expression on.

“I don’t care if it’s true or not.” You moved away again, but this time Akaashi did not let you evade him. Putting firm hands on your shoulders, he pulled you against his chest. “Stop.”

“I’m so sorry I hurt you, but I can’t.” Akaashi continued, “I love you and it hurts me so much that I hurt you in the process.”

You struggled against his hold until he let go. “How could I listen to you be so selfish?”

“I know.”

“Don’t involve me in this.” You motioned at the both of them in a wide circle.

“(F/N).” Akaashi stressed, eager to get you to see his side, but you wanted nothing to do with him or Bokuto. He broke your heart enough, there was no way you were willing to entertain him back in your life.

“What don’t you understand about leaving me alone?” You raised your voice, annoyed that Akaashi was asking anything of you after treating you so cruelly.

“Please let me explain.” Akaashi kept repeating.

There was nothing, absolutely nothing that Akaashi could say that would ever make you think about introducing him back into your life. He was terrible for lying to you for months, maybe even as long as a year, but you didn’t want to exactly ask the length of his infidelity. He was a terrible boyfriend and an even worse person - you were ready to raise hands at both boys if they didn’t let you go this instant.

Bokuto blocked your path this time, “(L/N), come on we just -- “

“What’s going on here?” A gentle hand fell on your shoulder, pushing Bokuto aside as a new person entered your conversation.

Konoha stood tall behind you, his sudden appearance quelling your rising anger. If not, you were sure that you were going to throw hands with the volleyball boys. Bokuto would probably fight you off, but slapping Akaashi would feel cathartic in a way.

“Ah, don’t worry about it.” Bokuto tried to wave away the other wing spiker. “We’re just talking.”

“(F/N), please. Let me explain it all to you.” Akaashi stressed, moving a step in your direction, to which Konoha challenged when he tilted his head upward.

“Right, just talking.” Konoha murmured in disbelief before turning to you. “And how do you feel?”

“I’ve had enough of this conversation.”

Both Akaashi and Bokuto exclaimed your name in contrasting tones, but you hardened your expression before turning away from them. Konoha still had a hand on your shoulder as you walked back to the lunchroom.

Your friends were already at your table, some of them standing around pacing while others were angrily chewing into their food. A chorus of your name followed as the two of you neared the table, some of them getting up from their seats to give you a comforting hug.

“(F/N)!” Your best friend was quick to rush you, crushing you between her arms. “We heard that Akaashi and Bokuto basically ushered you away.”

“The whole lunchroom was basically watching that door.” Another stated, pointing to the one you just came from.

Your best friend put her hands on your shoulder, steading your attention back to her. “Please tell me you remembered that men ain’t shit.”

Konoha laughed as he put a mocking hand of offense over his heart.

“Yeah, yeah.” You assured her, “I’m not about to make the same mistake again.”

“Good.” She confirmed, before turning to Konoha. “Okay, only Konoha has rights.”

“Thanks.” He stated back half-heartedly, guiding you back to your lunch and taking the seat beside you.

“When people told us they took you away, we weren’t sure what to do. Go after you? Call you to give you an out? We didn’t even know how long you had been gone for!” She explained, “Thankfully Konoha here came to the rescue.”

You turned to the wing-spiker, smiling as you did so. “He really did, thank you.”

He reflected a similar expression back at you, holding your gaze before springing away to take out his own lunch out of his bag.

“I take it back, the volleyball team has no rights with the exception of Konoha.” One of your friends joked.

As for you, you could not help but think back to the fond expression Konoha just shot you. It was so quick, and yet so genuine, you felt it pierce your heart so suddenly just to rip away from you when he turned away. But not in a bad way, per se.

If anything, this was a nice feeling, for a lack of a better term, to have again. You were not totally healed, still angry at both Akaashi and Bokuto for being complete fuckheads. But a part of you was still alive, happy to see Konoha as your friend and just maybe… maybe something else.

Akaashi and Bokuto returned back to the lunchroom silently, having left their stuff at their now fully occupied table. Bokuto didn’t bother to even turn in your direction, but Akaashi shot you a devastatingly sad frown as he passed.

A part of you wanted to comfort it, to leap out at the man who loved you for the past year. But you were thankfully steadied back to reality when Konoha put a gentle hand on your own. Akaashi’s gaze fell to the contact, making him stop entirely in his tracks. It was only when Bokuto grabbed his hand did the setter continue walking, but the shock on his face was palpable.

No matter, Akaashi was the last thing you wanted on your mind right now.

You upturned your hand and squeezed Konoha’s smiling at the third-year before turning back to your lunch.

The situation was far from resolved, you still had another two years at this drama-infested school and Akaashi seemed keen on explaining something to you. You were far from completely healed and it seemed the student body would not let this drama go unnoticed.

But you were getting there.

Little by little, you were re-learning to smile and laugh more. Places on campus were no longer bitter memories, but quiet lessons for you to remember. You had your loving best-friends and suddenly, the kind Konoha, at your side.

You had no worries about the rest of the school year, you would get through this with a head held high.

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A/N: TBH for myself i could see this going both ways; reader saying nah OR reader entering a poly relationship. idk - i’ll write it if someone wants to see that ending but otherwise here we are :):

➳ Masterlist

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got-svt · 3 years

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all the boys you’ve loved and lost during the course of our lives, we meet thousands of people, creating either a seconds long moment or memories that last a lifetime. some of them you’ll have the opportunity to know beyond their names and faces, some you may even grow to love. unfortunately, not all of them have the luxury of staying in your life forever.

❥• three: the first love

he’s the one who woke up thirty minutes earlier in the morning just so he could walk with you to school. it was the kind of love that felt more like a friendship, but neither of you would have had it any other way. filled with inside jokes, skating in the park, sneaking out after curfew. all smiles, and messy kisses, and belting out songs in the car. but both of you also knew your relationship would never last past the point of getting your diplomas.

pairing: vernon chwe x reader genre: fluff, angst, highschool au word count: 2777

→ safe to say you were confused as to why you were excused from your very first class one early monday morning. it had been a week into your final year of high school, and truthfully, you were still reeling from the shock of jeonghan’s sudden disappearance. so you weren’t exactly feeling up to it when you were asked to show the new transfer student around. you’d later learn that his name was vernon. and if you knew back then the impact he would eventually have on your life, you wouldn’t have acted so nonchalant when you first met him.

→ he sat on one of those uncomfortable looking plastic-metal hybrid chairs that seemed to plague every single guidance office. vernon had his hands neatly folded on his lap, avoiding the guidance counsellor’s somewhat scrutinizing gaze. you could tell he was nervous, maybe even uncomfortable, being in such an unfamiliar environment. as much as you’d rather not miss a class, you knew you had to save this poor kid from the counsellor talking his ears off on school rules.

“i think i’ll be able to take it from here.” you smiled sweetly, using the reputation you’ve built avoiding trouble to your advantage. vernon discreetly shot you a grateful look, letting out small breath of relief when the counsellor agreed to you being the one to lecture him on the rest of the school’s rules.

the door shut with a gentle click and you gestured that he follow you. the soles of your shoes hitting the tiled floor and your voice occasionally cutting in to explain certain rooms and directions filled what would’ve been an uncomfortable silence. it wasn’t until he muttered a quiet, “thank you,” that you got to hear his voice for the first time.

“i’m yn.” you smiled, holding out a hand for him to shake, “and it was no problem really. you honestly looked like you’d rather be anywhere else.”

vernon chuckled at the accuracy of your statement. he took your hand in his, his skin soft and his touch gentle, and gave it a small shake — letting go a little too quickly. “i’m vernon.”

the rest of the tour seemed to go smoothly after that, not bothering to explain most of the school’s rules to him as most were pretty obvious and self explanatory. you were more interested in knowing more about him, asking questions about his transfer, his interests, and anything that helped you grasp what kind of person he was. you also learned his schedule, surprised how most of his classes were shared with you. by the end of the day, vernon had gone home with your number and a new friend.

→ when you gave him your number, you expected texts involving questions on homework, clarifications on directions, or perhaps inquiries on what clubs he could join. what you had gotten instead were random texts at three in the morning. the first was an honest mistake: a meme that was meant to be for his friends back at his old school. vernon was about to apologize, but you sent a meme of your own back: one that implored him to go to sleep. after that, the other three am texts he had sent — whether they were conspiracy theories, random thoughts or questions that made no logical sense — were far from accidents. you always scolded him in school for disturbing your sleep, but he knew in the way you tried to fight off a smile that you weren’t too mad at him.

→ the weeks that followed had you growing closer to vernon. despite the fact that he had been making new friends and adjusting well to his brand new environment, he somehow still found ways to talk to you. waiting for you by your locker, walking with you to your shared classes, offering to carry your books for you with a welcoming smile, waving you and your friends over to the table where he and his friends sat during lunch. soon enough you were organizing movie nights for yours and his friends at your house. truthfully, vernon didn’t know why he was doing so in the first place. perhaps it was a thank you for becoming his first friend in an uncharted territory, or maybe it was because he genuinely enjoyed your company too much to easily let it go. it also could’ve been because the sound of your laughter felt like music to his ears, or how the corners of your eyes crinkled whenever you smiled up at him.

→ you distinctly remember the first time he slung his arm around your shoulders. you shouldn’t have thought about it too much, he probably meant nothing by it; and he didn’t. vernon laughed a little too hard, you were the closest thing that could prevent him from completely falling over off the couch and onto the floor. your breath gets caught in your throat, feeling the heat from his skin touching yours, his fingertips on your shoulders. the movie playing in front of you, the friends that sat beside you faded into the background as you became hyperaware of vernon’s presence. seeing his features illuminated by the tv screen accompanied by the beating of your own heart, you realized you might be developing feelings for the new kid.

→ which is probably why his confession was so easily accepted.

vernon didn’t meet you by your locker that afternoon, like he usually did. instead, in his place was a note written in generic paper — messily torn off a notebook — the words hastily written in black ink: meet me underneath the bleachers.

the handwriting was awfully familiar, but you couldn’t allow yourself to build your hopes up just yet. he had transferred only around a couple months ago, surely he wasn’t about to confess. he was already there when you arrived, jumping around from the nerves.

“listen yn, i’ve been really afraid that i’m going to say these words to you by accident. so i figured i should get it over with it.” vernon talked a little too quickly for your liking, letting every single one of his words out in one breath, “i like you.”

“i like you too.”

“what? oh. wow, um—” vernon’s eyes went wide, clearly surprised that you reciprocated his feelings, “so what does this make us?”

“i think you’re supposed to ask me out on a date now…”

“right, sorry. are you free friday night?”

he asked you to be his after your first date, under a flickering lamppost on your street, holding your hand tightly in his.

→ it was understandably awkward in the beginning, with neither of you ever being in a relationship before. your first kiss was a clash of teeth and tongue. the moments leading up to it had vernon staring at your lips for way too long, wondering if he should just go for it or politely ask. in the end he had gone with a mixture of both: quickly asking before bringing your face to his, resulting in your foreheads bumping together at the suddenness of his action. both of you immediately laughed it off, tears nearly filling your eyes. vernon looked at you fondly, a hint of playfulness in his eyes as he pulled you closer to himself, “guess we could use some practice, huh yn?”

→ but your relationship hit its stride within a couple of weeks. it felt like an accelerated friendship, at least that’s how you and vernon chose to describe it to the people who’d ask. nobody could tell that you two were in a relationship, thinking that the both of you just happened to be really close friends. neither of you opted for pet names, calling each other simply by name or the occasional ‘dude/bro’. you couldn’t really blame others for their surprise, but neither of you would have your relationship any other way.

→ if only they saw how tightly he gripped your waist as he taught you how to skateboard in the afternoons you spent at the park, how he never failed to grip your hand in large crowds so he doesn’t lose you, how he took you out to eat after every swim meet — not mattering if you had won or lost, how he woke up thirty minutes earlier than he usually would to go to your house so he can walk with you to school, how you were always the first to hear his music — one earbud in your ear and the other in his as you walked back from school, or how soft his gaze was on you as you attempted to tutor him on whatever lesson he struggled with. vernon always had an arm around your shoulders or resting on the back of your seat, sent you anything he comes across that reminded him of you: whether it was a tweet, or a meme, or a random sight on the street.

“do you think we’re going to make it?” you whispered to him one night. you and vernon made a habit of sneaking in the school late at night though you didn’t exactly know why. maybe it was for the thrill of possibly getting caught. if yourself from a year ago saw what you were doing, you would’ve scolded yourself for being so reckless. but you had to remember to live a little every now and then.

vernon’s head tilted to the side, reaching out to get his bag which was filled with snacks, “what do you mean?”

“do you think we’ll still be together even after we get our diplomas.”

“why are you asking?”

“i mean,” you sighed, wondering if you should even try to explain. it was something that had been bothering you as yours and vernon’s relationship progressed. “i know i’ll be going to university, but i also know you’re pursuing music and you don’t really feel like going to uni.”

“do we really have to think about that now?” his eyebrows furrowed, but you knew it was not out of anger or frustration, “why can’t we just live in this moment?”

“right.”

he took out a permanent marker from his bag, taking the lid off with his teeth. your eyes followed his movements as he scrawled underneath the bleachers: ‘vernon and yn were here.’

“no matter what happens to us,” vernon smiled, trying his best to make it seem comforting despite his own doubts beginning to form, “we can remember that we existed, that this moment existed at a point in time.”

you run your hands along the words he had written, deciding that it was good enough for now. neither of you brought up that conversation on the car ride home, or in the weeks after. but it lingered in the back of both of your minds, pestering the both of you every hour; you had unintentionally set a deadline on your relationship, and as the end of your high school years drew closer, the reminder only became harder to ignore.

→ the weeks leading up to your graduation were as normal as they could be, at least both of you tried to make it seem that way. you still spent your mornings walking to school together, afternoons in the park, nights driving around the suburbs, singing songs as loud as you can with the windows rolled halfway down — much to the dismay of your neighbors. sometimes, you’d see chan walking home from practice, greeting him with waves as you sang the lyrics to him as a form of hello. you both studied for the final exams, vernon helped you film your university application video and you helped him write lyrics for his songs. but it felt different now. because every time you found yourselves smiling or laughing at a particular moment, it falters ever so slightly — both of you knowing things would end soon enough.

→ prom night went by as quickly as it came. you and vernon weren’t particularly excited, and if it wasn’t for your friends’ pestering you probably wouldn’t have attended at all. his promposal was simple: a paper airplane with the words “prom? yes or yes?” written on it. you remembered rolling your eyes, but sending him a nod anyways. vernon grinned, sending a wink and a little finger heart at your acceptance.

→ you spent the first half of the night dancing with your friends, drinking punch that was clearly spiked. but you ended up ditching the school gym in favor of the nearest twenty-four hour diner. sure, they did think it was weird that two high school kids dressed to the nines walked in the place at 8:45 in the evening, but who were they to deny paying customers. it didn’t matter that your rather expensive outfits were going to get ruined by diner food grease, or covered in sticky maple syrup and white powdered sugar. it was certainly better than the stuffy gym, with songs that neither of you enjoyed, and people — the exception being your friends — you barely even knew.

→ your first and last slow dance was underneath a lone lamppost in the empty diner parking lot. music softly playing from his car’s speakers, the volume low, just loud enough for the two of you to hear as you gently swayed to the beat. your arms wrapped around his neck, his on your waist, pulling each other as close as humanly possible. no words needed to be exchanged, content with the sound of each other’s breathing and the beating of your own hearts.

→ it was difficult to be excited for the day of your graduation when you knew this new beginning also meant the end of something else. the ceremony was over, everyone gathered underneath the sun. parents forced their children to take one more picture, students tearfully hugged their friends goodbye.

→ you and vernon stood side by side in the sidelines, watching it all unfold. both of you were out of your graduation gowns, diplomas in the hands of your parents for safekeeping. it was time, both of you knew that much.

“i love you.” vernon said, gaze still straight ahead, “you know that, right?”

“i do.” you nodded, a heavy sigh leaving your lips after. it was the first time he told you he loved you, through words at least, but his actions towards you in your months together always proved that he did. still, it was nice to hear. a wistful smile made its way to your features, “you don’t love me enough to hold on though, and i feel the same way too. ”

“yeah,” he stuffed his hands in the pockets of his pants, rocking back and forth on his feet, “first loves don’t usually last.”

you stayed quiet, ignoring the tiniest voice in your head that willed you to protest his words, knowing that it would lead nowhere if you did.

“but you’ll always remember them.” vernon continued his thought from earlier, finally turning to face you. he took your hands, “no matter what happens, or who comes along, you’re my first love. nothing’s going to ever change that fact.”

“you’re mine too.” you replied, trying to ingrain in your memory the warmth of his hands holding yours, how he looked at you with genuine love and regret. tears pricked the corners of your eyes, “i wouldn’t have traded our time together for anything else.”

“i love you, vernon.”

“i love you, yn.” he replied, the second and final time he spoke those words to you.

→ maybe you shouldn’t have put a deadline on your relationship, would things be different if you hadn’t? would it matter that you left town, attending a university hours away from him? would it matter that he quickly found success in his music? did it even matter that you were always the first to text him a ‘congratulations’ whenever as song of his went #1, and thoughts of him invaded your mind? did it matter that sometimes he laid in bed awake at night, wondering what could’ve been if he shared his moments of success with you?

❥• every now and then you pay a visit to your old high school. rarely were you ever back in town to do so, but you savored each step your feet took. they always lead you underneath the bleachers, your hand running over the words vernon had written so long ago. over time, they faded until they were eventually painted over. but you knew they were there, that those words existed, that you and vernon lived in that moment once upon a time. despite all the regrets and all the what ifs, the thought of those words alone brought you more comfort than you could ever imagine.

seventeen as all the boys you’ve loved and lost. next ➤ xu minghao, the boy you met at summer camp

taglist: @t-secretpot @serenadesvt @chuu-soulmate @pooofthechicken @yanniezx

ask/message to be part of the taglist <33

note; no thoughts head empty only high school bf!vernon,,, also why do these keep getting longer I swear I don't do it on purpose asdfghjkl at this rate I'll be at 15k words by the time I get to jihoon;( anyways, thank you so much for reading ! <33

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dappercritter · 3 years

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She-Ra for the ask meme! (Maybe a bad time with the final season so close, you can save this until after if you like.)

(Based on this meme.)

Well, did I save this for later or what?

The first character I first fell in love with: Entrapta. Aside from her colour scheme—I do love a good purple girl, to say the least—I adore her for her enthusiastic, inquisitive, compassionate, and rather eccentric personality. Not to mention her design is an absolute joy to watch in action; from the goggles to the prehensile hair, is creative and adorable. She steals every scene she’s in with her loveably manic energy. The fact that she’s a scientist, who specializes in advanced technology no less, makes her an important character in a magic-driven fantasy setting—her design helps her stand out among the more traditional looking princesses, too! The fact that she’s some of the most effectively authentic examples of autistic representation in children’s fiction only enhances her likeability, in addition to the most interesting and sympathetic examples of morally grey characters that I’ve seen. Her wonderful chemistry with the rest of the Horde adds both to her charm, and really helped lighten things up on the villain’s side for the first 2-3 seasons, and her relationship with Hordak… Well, I’ll get to that shortly! 😉

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: Madame Razz. I figured Razz was going to be a fun mentor character, but I could have never suspected she’d be the best mentor I and Adora could ask for! I’m not familiar with her original counterpart, but whatever they had to work with, I applaud the crew for taking the silliest looking character in the original line-up and turning her into this charming little old lady whose equal parts Yoda and Ghibli grandma. (Or at least that’s how I describe her.) Her design gets special mention, too, for just how dang cute she is! The big glasses, the raggedy dress, big fluffy hair with moths flying around, and her witch broom all come together so well. Out of all Adora’s mentors, she’s the best— having no ulterior motives, agendas, or any manipulative or toxic behaviour laced into her teaching style, offers the best life advice she can to someone who clearly needs it out of kindness. And because she bears a certain resemblance to someone she once knew in a similar position.

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: Catra. Shocking right? Look, I know that she had an awful time growing up in the Fright Zone and by the end of the show she became more well-rounded and likeable. Any grief I have with her is pretty much over done with. Problem is though… it is pretty hard to forget everything she did. Now, I know it’s all in the past and a lot of people haven’t forgotten what she did either, and that some of it has to do with the ugliness of the Catradora vs. Entrapdak dynamic discourse and I don’t want to go into that. I really don’t. But put as simply as possible, she was a toxic friend, especially in regards to Adora (the Season 1 and 2/3 finales in particular) and Entrapta (who she betrayed, left to die after lying about her to her lover/best friend, and the offering the bare minimum of an apology), and escalated a war just to get back at Adora. After she tried to destroy REALITY to get back at her. I’m glad she changed but it still feels like too little too late.

The character I love that everyone else hates: Swift Wind. Sure, he’s a talking horse with a design that can wander a good ways into the uncanny valley, and who tries too hard too hard to be funny, but in spite of that I think he’s got a good heart behind that strange face of his. He does his best to be a good friend to Adora, supporting her both as herself and when she’s She-Ra, as well as doing his best to support Adora’s other friends as well (see “Boy’s Night Out”). Chiefly by trying to make light of Adora’s duties as She-Ra by trying help her find the fun and excitement in it. Of course, he doesn’t just try to keep the energy up, he shows genuine concern for Adora and all her friends, not hesitating to rush to their protection or point out when a situation seems especially dire. (see “Beast Island” and “Failsafe”). But I think my favourite example is from “Hero” where he casually reveals that he regularly checks in on Madame Razz because, as he says, “You gotta check up on old ladies alone in the woods.” What a horse!

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: Glimmer. I used to love her personality and her design. A peppy rebel who lived for adventure and a good friend to Adora and Bow. Even if she had her flaws like her impulsiveness and her stubbornness, she was still pretty likeable. But then she called her mom a coward for acting as a strategist and looking after Bright Moon, which ended up convincing her to sacrifice herself to close the rift at the end of S3. Alright, fair enough, some things can’t be avoided. Then she took over as queen, and I can understand there was A LOT of factors that were in play—namely grief and Double Trouble deliberately playing on her strained friendship with Adora and Bow as part of one of Catra’s plots—but boy howdy, did she start showing a pretty unsavory side what with her increasingly ruthless demeanor, trusting Adora’s abuser (hi Shadow Weaver, be with you in minute) over her, choosing to leave Entrapta in very real peril on Beast Island, and willingly using a weapon she knew could destroy all of Etheria to win a war. Perhaps I wouldn’t have minded as much if season 5 didn’t rush through her apologies and redemption so quickly, but the fact remains that Glimmer’s character took an awfully dark turn that’s not quite going to be so easily forgotten.

The character I would totally smooch: In a dark future where Entrapta never found love with Hordak, for one terrible reason or another, I would totally give her a smooch. I’ve said it before and say it again: Mad scientist princess is best princess! The character I’d want to be like: Bow. In some capacity I’m already like him, namely being super emotional and doing his damnedest to be a good friend even when things are tough, as well as being the voice of reason and a tinkerer (what? Tinkering with artsy stuff counts!). But I’d like to follow his example of being more level-headed, softer, optimistic, but also more assertive as opposed to my impulsive, harsher, cynical, and reserved current self.

The character I’d slap: Shadow Weaver. Need I explain? No, and anyway I can’t slap her anyways because she pulled the most manipulative heroic sacrifice I’ve ever seen. Dammit it, Shadow Weaver! (I really wanted to say Horde Prime but I feel like he wasn’t developed quite enough to be as hateable as he could be. Not to say that he isn’t an absolute piece of trash who deserved what he had coming already, but we didn’t get to spend three whole seasons getting to know the depths of his manipulative depravity while simultaneously weaseling his way into a twisted version of a redemption arc, unlike someone else I just talked about.)

A pairing that I love: Entrapdak. In case, it wasn’t already obvious. To summarize, in spite of all the drama that surrounds them and their actions, they honestly have the sweetest, most affectionate, and quite possibly the most healthy and engaging pair of the entire show (next to Spinnerella and Netossa, of course). Shoot, if it weren’t for these two and my hopes to see them reunite again, I would have left the fandom entirely at this point! (No seriously, I’m getting tired, folks.)

A pairing that I despise: Hordak X Horde Prime, but I think that’s the point, since most people use it to explore toxic relationships from a distance. Anyways, I really do not want to talk about abusive alien selfcest.

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rpbetter · 3 years

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I genuinely don’t think the problem is as deep as people are seeing it as, with that whole resource blog and vent blog drama. I was there when it began, and it started because someone sent a submission that was recognizable enough to trace to that resource blog, who ended up calling themself out, and then a bunch of people dogpiling them, and then it turned into the 2021 edition of good old tumblr wank, mocking sockpuppets included. I essentially watched a bunch of 30 year olds call each other doodooheads like a couple kids on the playground, but at least kids forgive and forget after a day or two.

That’s probably why they’re avoiding this situation like the plague. The first time a submission went through about that resource blog, it made people feud like the Montagues and Capulets. Obviously they don’t wanna risk fueling that type of drama again. If it’s true that they aren’t letting these submissions through and it isn’t tied to reasons like tumblr eating the ask, then it’s probably because they don’t wanna be involved in this drama anymore. And I don’t blame them, because honestly, even as an observer I’m tired of seeing it, I can’t imagine how exhausting it must be for y’all who are actually involved. Geez. Who even has the energy for this much drama anyway? I’m tired just getting outta bed.

Sorry, Anon, I really had to!

Anyway, I'm sorry it took forever to get to your message, not only did I need a break from this, I needed to space out things related to it, it had taken over the blog. I appreciate that, despite how over it all you are, you were polite about how you feel. I know that is not always easy, and I do really appreciate it!

I hope that you don't feel I am being hostile to you about anything I say, it isn't meant that way. Differences of opinion, when not expressed hatefully, are always welcome here. I'm just going to try to express some of this situation from another perspective, and full disclosure, I'm pretty pissed off about it whether or not I actively want to be. This did impact my hobby, it did hurt people I care about, and I cannot believe such an unnecessary act lead to shit that is still going on.

On the first point...most things aren't as deep as we're given to feel they are after we've been made to feel incredibly unsafe, targeted, repeatedly let down and lied to, and experienced an astronomical level of sketchy behavior out of muns in a position that one is supposed to have some minor level of responsibility (as well as decent comportment) within. So, maybe it isn't that deep, but at this point, I very much cannot blame people for their concerns and suspicions.

And it was incredibly sketchy. CoaR, I'm just going to say it, everyone knows of which blog we're speaking at this point, did all of the following, breaking their own rules for moderation repeatedly:

allowed an actual, openly stated, callout blog to interact with their posts

allowed a meme blog to use their posts for the point of off-blog drama mongering, callouts, and outing themselves

would not moderate this situation as stated in their rules, when they've a bit of nasty record in the not too distant past of mass-blocking for far less and far more questionable reasons

did bother to post about how they weren't getting involved, as though this did not break multiple rules and absolutely is one's problem if it is your vent blog someone is using to create and foster bullying - simply giving the bizarre statement that blocking won't help anyone, when that isn't the point at all lol the point is being intolerant of people using your blog, that has to operate on a basis of being as safe a place as possible for venting (which is drama), this is about a stance and blog security, not being anyone's parent

just as weirdly vaguely threatening everyone first with all the mods "watching," because that's not actually implying an Orwellian parental role no one asked for, then with Sky once again misunderstanding the difference between being a " disciplinarian" and an ass

consistent lack of transparency on all counts

and then, yeah, there is the choice of publishing submissions/rebuttals combined with all of this and those submissions/rebuttals being what they are - not all related to "the drama," or in violation of the rules either, but the apparent willingness to publish them from one side of "the drama" there for a bit

I cannot blame people for feeling like all of this combined is a legitimately sketchy situation. One in which they've already, again, been made to feel unsafe within because COAR was used as a list for callouts.

When people see someone like Raven getting wildly different treatment by not being so much as warned, they're going to feel suspicion about the mod(s). It makes it so much worse that they chose to make the statements they did instead of a transparent, reasonable one like, "We apologize that CoaR was used the way it was, we should have blocked the callouts blog right away, but didn't. To reiterate the rules we've had in place for years, this blog is never to be used for callouts or taking bullying off-blog. Due to how widespread the problem has become, we will not be publishing anything related to it any longer. Submissions will be deleted so we can begin putting this behind us."

Acknowledge fault, apologize for it, say what you're doing to mitigate it now. That's it. Don't actively make it worse!

About the submissions...I know I'm alone in having tested that out. It isn't limited to things that either break the rules or are related to the issue. It's very select topics that are a bit uncomfortably aligned with the bias displayed, and from very select blogs. That's a problem. It's not selectively publishing based on drama-avoidance or rules, what CoaR has always done and no one here is taking an issue with.

I have 0 interest in things like trackers, they're far too easy/tempting to use maliciously for most people, and at the very best, they foster an environment of paranoia. What I know about them comes from really minimal personal experience (I wanted to see what posts people were most interested in on another blog, but it felt creepy with the amount of information I had, so I dropped that very fast) and what mutuals who use them have told me/questions they've answered.

So, is it possible the mod(s) is selectively deleting submissions from blogs they feel are a problem? Yes, it is totally possible. Do I know that for a fact? No, I totally do not. My point is that this is exactly the sort of paranoia that takes off when too many suspicious things happen back to back. You begin seeking the answers you are not getting, and you're seeking them because every day for a month or two, your experience logging in has been one of what the fresh hell. It's a need to insulate yourself from further exposure to harassment.

It's a very simple formula: act sketchy, people look at you like you're sketchy.

And I'm not going to condemn anyone for that.

I will also say that, unless several people deleted their comments or have me blocked in multiple places they somehow know of and take issue with, I did not see what you are describing when I read over the total explosion that happened...what, like a month, two months ago at this point? It was very fresh at the time.

What I saw was someone having submitted about a meme blog screenshotting their mutual's rules. Raven going off about it in a reblog. Two commentators trying to discuss the issue and finally, just saying they weren't surprised what meme blog it was once Raven outted themselves like a fully hinged individual interested in following CoaR's rules.

One of those s commentators is a friend, the mun whose rules were in the posts is a friend. I've never been anything but transparent about that. I'm also familiar with some of the other parties who ended up going on hiatus, but only from discussions on the vent blog over the years. So, yes, I do have personal investment here, and I do not feel like any of those people telling Raven and the callout blog they were at least involved with that their behavior was bullshit can be equated to immature shit slinging. There were even two muns who repeatedly tried to have a civil conversation with Raven, specifically, and for their efforts, got some of the most wildly juvenile treatment.

The worst things I saw came from hate anons and the callout blog.

The people receiving that treatment were largely driven off tumblr. For a time, forever, it differs with all of them. So, I feel like saying that about the thirty-year-olds thing is a little off. I'm not trying to be shitty, Anon, but the muns who tried to address Raven's bullshit were all of that age range. They're definitely continuing the drama, they're not here. They can't feel comfortable enough to be on their own blogs still.

I also am required ethically to say that we all really need to stop with throwing around ages like this. Again, I'm not trying to be hostile to you, Anon. I've been trying to show other people's perspective in this (it doesn't matter if you agree or not, I just think it's important to understanding, stopping, and prevent problems to have a fuller perspective that we often lack because we are incredibly tired of whatever is going on, and you're right, we are all really damn tired and also Tired), and as it is an advice blog, I try to address problems here. The pervasive ageism in the tumblr RPC is a problem.

It's a problem that gets discussed when it involves adults not wanting to interact with minors and, as I've seen it put several times, "treating them like the plague." There are a billion "conversations" and complaints about that, but there aren't many at all when it comes to the RPC's bizarre ideas about what age constitutes an adult (you're an actual child until around 23, you're ancient and need to die already, you pedo, at 26) and what being an adult actually is.

You do not turn thirty and lose your hobbies. You also do not turn thirty and become an ultra-mature adult, no leveling up into arcane Adult Knowledge and Behavior unlocks when you wake up on your thirtieth birthday. Between the ages of 17 and 27, you go through so many rapid changes in your cognition, but it levels off considerably after that. You're largely the same person at 32 as you were at 27, and you cannot say that about being...17 and 20, 22 and 25. It begins to take longer to see changes in who you are, those changes are less extreme - your personality, preferences, and viewpoints remain largely the same, they just refine a little here and there.

There is no line at which people "should" stop engaging in any hobby, and it's incredibly gross that the RPC seems to think anyone out of college-age should have no interests, let alone passionate ones, outside of going to work, having a family, and paying bills. That's a bit horrifyingly 1950's isn't it? It's also really misogynistic, considering that the primary base of the RPC is female or afab. When you deal in this, you're literally telling thirty-year-old people with uteruses that they should have no interests outside of birthing children and caring for them.

This isn't what you were doing, Anon, but it's part of the tumorous growth of this ideology that we casually throw around things like "a bunch of 30-year-olds" to make a point. We've seriously got to stop doing that, it isn't a message that most of us would agree with. There are other ways of saying "I think these people should behave more maturely since they're adults."

If I said something like, "well, they were just in their mid-twenties lol what do you expect?" I'd get hate anons, pants would be shat in, and more importantly, it would be wrong. That needs to work both ways, this isn't a separate issue.

An issue that repeatedly comes down to the absurdity of finding differences and drawing lines into cages around people in an environment in which we have the freedom to be more equal than in offline reality. We're all just people here, all just writing and interacting and loving characters. That's all we need to be, and all we need to be judged on is our behavior.

I'm sorry that anyone behaved in a grossly inappropriate manner during any and all of this. It was a heated thing that came to involve too many people and too much harassment, and those are factors that will always see people behaving in ways they would not normally engage in.

And like I said, you don't become some wise master of maturity at thirty! There is a problem mun I'm currently dealing with on another blog that is my age who is one of the most immature people I have ever run into. I have mutuals and friends in the early to mid-twenties who I'm confident weren't as childish as this mun when they were literal children. So, do people thirty and over behave in a seriously unbecoming, childish as hell manner? Yes, they so do! Whether it should be this way or not, you can't expect everyone to be at the same maturity level psychologically at any given age. To me, that just says that I shouldn't age-type people negatively. It isn't relevant where their behavior is.

Otherwise, I'm holding people at some nebulous age over thirty to higher expectations than other equally adult-range people. It isn't acceptable for anyone to behave in the ways I witnessed and was subjected to. It's not even acceptable in teenagers, it's just more understandable (not excusable) because they're working with many things they quite literally cannot control at all times. To act this way is telling everyone below thirty that they're just immature, irresponsible, dicks. It's insulting to them to be labeled in this way, too, even if too many of them see it as a free pass and are, thus, okay with it right now. They won't be, eventually.

Anyway, again, I'm not trying to be shitty to you! I don't think you meant anything in your message in a nasty way, and I cannot say how much I appreciate that after the bullshit brought to this blog and that I've been dealing with privately to help some of those affected feel like the RPC is a place they're safe and welcome in again.

I am definitely tired! Everyone else involved is as well. At least, on what I have to term as "this side" of the equation. I cannot speak to the other side, obviously, but I think they got tired enough of it not being tolerated to be quiet at least. When you make it unfun for people like that, that's usually what happens, after all.

So, I don't think it's them trying to continue the drama. Most of the people I know have remained in their corners happily or been obliged to leave for a while. As for the other people with suspicions...like I said, there are a lot more factors going on here than wanting to perpetuate drama. Sometimes, when we try to make ourselves feel safe, vindicated/vindicate a friend, there isn't any other option but to have the topic come up or breed into suspicions, correct or incorrect ones.

It's a situation that CoaR had a great deal of culpability in, and as such, had a lot of power to mitigate this well before it got to suspicions of who was modding the blog. That wasn't done, and won't be. Like Raven's antics, I have to feel like they've brought some of this on themselves. I do not and will not condone any hate messages sent their way, but again, right or wrong, people do have a right to feel the way they are.

If I were you, I'd stay as far away from it as possible. I don't go on CoaR unless I have to in order to answer something. I had a single blog blocked over here until this all went down (hilariously, it happened to be one that was involved, too, sometimes the red flags are legit, folks), now I have a sadly large number of them. It's now added to liberally, and I hate to do that, I like this blog to be open even to people who disagree with me. I can't deal with the constant drama, though, and I'm not going to be in a new callout every month until I die. Outside of being true to my word about accepting any and all vent messages, I don't want to see it, I don't want to be involved with it. I tag the posts so that followers can filter it, but I'm not going to function as a semi-callout blog by telling people who they should avoid. Just that they should avoid anyone who is making them feel this tired and done. Myself included.

I hope things have settled down in your corner of the RPC since you sent this! They have over here, thankfully. I think most people are staying away from the vent blog and hoping a new and better one comes along. It's back to the usual drama of "stop calling muns pedos for aging up characters."

#answered #anonymous #drama cw #misogyny cw #ageism cw #coar drama cw #I think that's all of them...#tumblr rpc

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littlemisssquiggles · 4 years

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🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

(1) i understand how the other feel about ozpins lies but I don't thi k how they act with Oscar is awful ,I hope he snaps at them ,and stands up for ozpin an himself

(2) I was hoping that oscar would some how thanks to ozpins memories ,would bring the people in the city of mantel together to fight the grim some how get them all to atlus,

(3) I was hoping that oscar would get a episode to him self were maybe a few days go by and he on his own but v8 going to b 2 episodes even if he did get time to him self for an episode or 2 I feel like I would get to see him do as much as I'm hoping 4

(4) like ur self I'd like to see ruby reaction to him maybe being maybe gone,I'd like to see Oscar feeling on losing the lamp an letting ruby down

(5) I think oscar should get gravity dust or wind to help him keep up with the others

(6) I now we're going to see Oscar with y,j, and r but i want him to be with Weiss and Blake

Uhm…since I already gave my answers to Points 2, 3, 5 and 6 in other RWBY response posts, I’m just gonna only answer Points 1 and 4 for this one to avoid having to repeat myself XD

“…I understand how the others feel about Ozpin’s lies but I don’t think how they act with Oscar is awful. I hope he snaps at them and stands up for Ozpin and himself…”

Assuming that you meant that you think the way how the group treated Oscar back in Argus was bad and you’re hoping for him to go off on them, I don’t blame you for feeling that way anon-chan. Not to sound overdramatic or anything like that but V6CH9 is still considered my most despised episode of that season and RWBY in general and I’ll even toss in V6CH8 as well since I didn’t and still don’t like how the show basically had everyone stand idly by and allowed Jaune to walk across the room and slam Oscar into the wall.

And what was even worse is that no one dared to pull Jaune off of Oscar as he practically shook the kid while screaming accusations in his face for actions that weren’t even his. And the real kicker to me is that even when I rewatch that scene it just feels so out of character for the others to just let that happen. They all literally just stood there as Jaune wrongfully manhandled Oscar.

Sure we had Weiss attempt to stop Jaune but outside of that and Ruby barking at Jaune to back off of Oscar, nothing else was done. No one thought to step in front of Oscar and come between him and Jaune before the Arc boy could lay a finger on Oscar.

And what sucks even more is that even after watching what Jaune did to Oscar, NO ONE thought to check in on him and see if he was alright after such an ordeal. Instead Ren and Nora leave to comfort Jaune---Oscar’s accoster mind you----while the others divided to do other things. And yet one of them wasn’t making sure that Oscar was fine emotionally. Yet they all act surprise when they find him gone from the house?

Which makes the fact that all he did was leave to go shopping so utterly bad that it’s not even funny. I know it’s a meme in the Pinehead community (along with Oscar’s missing character development and the fact that he’s practically the pet gold fish of the hero team that they keep neglecting and losing each season yet he always comes back and still loves those silly bastards anyways) but I honestly hate that that’s canon. Anyways, I’m not here to rant about V6CH9. In respect to Oscar telling off the others for the way they treated him and Oz back in V6, I think it could be mighty swell for that to happen.

As a Pinehead, I am genuinely tired of this weird approach that the show has of having Oscar be perfectly complacent with everything that’s happened to him---even when he’s downright being practically abused to some degree. It’s not fun to watch as a fan of his character. Oscar has been through a lot since his introduction and outside of the dojo moment from V5 where he confessed his fears to Ruby, we haven’t really gotten any more moments of Oscar coming clean about his true feelings over his current experiences.

And NO I am not counting his speech in V6CH9 where the showrunners deadass had the audacity to have Oscar say to the hero group that he’s been contemplating about all that happened between him, Oz and the whole reveal of Ozma and the events of the Lost Fable despite never showing the audience scenes where we can see Oscar doing just that.

It is insulting at this point how poorly the CRWBY Writers have handled Oscar’s treatment in the show. While V7 was definitely an improvement (albeit except for that one episode where Double D Rivas downright forgot Oscar in the episode while all his so-called teammates and friends were up in Amity celebrating), it still doesn’t quite make up for the mistakes of V6 nor does it erase my disappointment for that volume in terms of how they handled Oscar’s side of the story.

All the more reason to hope for better things to be done for Oscar in V8. Like you, I would like to see Oscar speak up against the team and their past actions (especially with the mistakes they made with Ironwood and still have yet to take responsibility for), not necessarily in defence of himself since Oscar has been shown to be a selfless individual---always placing others before himself---but more so for Oz.

I want Oscar to be the one to mend the tethered bond within his team between the others and the other half of himself. After all, while two differing souls, Oz is still a part of Oscar especially once the Merge occurs. They may not be the same person but they are a part of each other and will come together to complete one another. Or at least complete Oscar since according to V5, Oz is the one meant to change with the Merge. Not Oscar. I mean Oscar will technically change but I’d still like to strongly believe that his soul will become the dominating personality and persona as Oz’s fades more into the background as it combines with his.

And while the other heroes may like and trust Oscar, they can’t favour only half of him. This is especially the case since Oscar and Oz are expected to become one entity at some point. So I’m hoping that before that happens, Oscar uses this time to get everyone back on the same page---burying the hatchet after all that transpired between the last two volumes and thus starting things anew with everyone having a clean slate.

This needs to be done in order for the heroes to move forward and work together since uniting against the common foe will be what helps not just them but all of humanity and Remnant. At least that’s what I assume. While I don’t necessarily need Oscar to go off on the other heroes, I would like it if it he did call them out for their past mistakes with Ironwood---mistakes that he unfortunately partook in encouraging---as well as their treatment of Oz, finally helping them to see the bigger picture and what’s more at stake. I’m honestly tired of the story having our heroes pin all the blame on Ozpin while making it appear as if RWBY were in the right despite doing the exact same thing that got Oz in trouble with them.

So for what it’s worth, I hope that’s addressed in the series and I hope it lends to Oscar aiding to patch things between the team and Oz especially now that he’s returned. The group and Oz need to reconcile and I’d like to believe that Oscar is the key to helping with that.

“…Like yourself, I’d like to see Ruby’s reaction to him maybe being gone. I’d like to see Oscar’s feelings on losing the lamp and letting Ruby down…”

Ooooh I’d love it if V8 kicks off with Ruby learning that Ironwood had ‘killed’ Oscar. That’s a scene I am literally praying would happen when the group split up and RWBN_P head up to Atlas or Amity Arena to confront Ironwood. I want Ironwood to just blurt it out like it meant nothing to him that he shot and killed a child---I want to see Ironwood basically treat Oscar as nothing more than another face for Oz---not even his own person despite promising him in the second episode of V7 that so long as Oscar was in Atlas, he would be safe.

And most of all, I want to see the reactions of everyone---Ruby and Nora especially---when Ironwood says with the straightest and most cold-hearted of expressions that he killed Oscar. If we don’t get a scene like that then not gonna lie anon-chan, I will be beyond disappointed. Because what’s the point of having Ironwood shoot Oscar to his death if it wasn’t going to be brought up at some point, ey?

Give me that angsty scene where either Ruby or Nora---most likely Nora--- get super pissed at the reveal of Oscar’s alleged death, thus sparking her to attack Ironwood and thus, a fight breaks out between RWBN_P and the Ace Ops, talks of negotiation completely out the window since Ironwood killing one of their own (Oscar) practically meant war.

I also wonder if Qrow being framed for killing Clover might also come up as well. Like imagine a scene where one of the Ace Ops accuses our heroes of treason after letting them know that Qrow was charged for Clover’s murder, much to RWBN_P’s surprise only for Ironwood to indifferently say something to the extent of the group being even in some way---Qrow allegedly killed one of his own (meaning Clover) while Ironwood killed one of theirs (meaning Oscar) and that’s how it’s revealed. Or something to that level. Who knows? All in all, I want that scene to happen and I really, really, REALLY want it to see Ruby’s response to Oscar’s alleged murder since she’s someone whose always protected him since the start. It’ll be even worse if she learns that her actions resulted in Ironwood killing Oscar for that added double whammy. That could be great storytelling and character-building-wise! Buuuuut we’ll see for next season.

As for Oscar being saddened over losing the lamp and letting Ruby down---well technically we kind of got a scene like that already last volume anon-chan. It was during the moment in the finale episode after JNPR 2.0 had managed to evade capture and were hiding away in the training room. While taking a breather, Oscar apologized for losing the lamp leading to Jaune trying to reassure him only for Ren to ruin the moment by bringing up the fact that the villains now have possession of the Lamp of Knowledge while the Staff of Creation was still in Ironwood’s grasps.

In that scene, the camera made sure to focus on Oscar’s troubled expression as Ren went on his tangent. As a matter of fact, it was Ren going off that made Oscar run off to go confront Ironwood in the first place as his way of trying to fix everything on his own.

I’m not sure if we’ll get to see Oscar apologizing to Ruby personally for losing the lamp after she entrusted him. However I think it could be a potentially cute Rosegarden moment if the first thing Oscar does when reuniting with the others is apologize to Ruby specifically for losing the lamp only for Ruby to disregard his apology completely and straight up just embrace Oscar on the spot; more relieved to discover that he was alive to even care about the relic. That’s something I’d like to see done for V8 but who knows?

~LittleMissSquiggles (2020)

#squiggles answers: rwby #oscar pine #ruby rose #professor ozpin #oscar and ozpin #rwby theories #rwby volume 8 theories #Anon-ninja #squiggles answers

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chelledoggo · 4 years

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Coming Clean

The past few days for me have been...eventful, to say the least.

But it's a new day, I've cooled down from the panic, and am ready to make my final, no-BS statement on this whole controversy. I feel like it needs to be done, and a few tweets on the subject isn't enough.

CW: Transphobia, Ableism, Suicide, Anxiety, Panic attacks, Depression, Rape and Murder mentions

On Sunday, July 12, 2020, I made a meme and posted it to Twitter. Essentially, the meme was comparing issues of mainstream trans and nonbinary people (being killed, being raped, being made fun of, being denied health care under Trump, etc...) to the online xenogender community, a community which I had not previously properly educated myself on.

Xenogenders, as I understand now, are gender identities that are used by some people, typically neurodivergent people, because they feel that these terms describe their gender identity better than the predetermined labels that are more commonly used. (cis, trans, nonbinary, agender, genderqueer, etc.) These identities are often based on unconventional factors, such as aesthetics, creatures, mythical beings, natural phenomena, and so on, and often use pronouns specially coined to compliment them.

In the meme, I depicted a very unflattering stereotype of xenogender youth, and used some tasteless terminology to describe how they present their developed gender identity to the world.

I won't bullshit you anymore. Here is the meme. (CW for Transphobia and Ableism; Rape and Murder mentions)

I posted it to Twitter, closed out, and took a nap. I didn't expect much to come out of it except for a few likes and retweets. I was obviously very wrong.

When I woke up and pulled up Twitter again, I was greeted to my notifications being flooded with replies upset by what I'd posted. Many of them were calling me out for ableism and transphobia. Some of them were just flinging insults and mocking me for my age/appearance/etc. Some of them were just fancams.

I'd finally seen the true impact of my actions.

Anyone who knows me well knows that I have a fear of angering others or becoming hateful and ignorant. I would never want to intentionally hurt innocent people, especially those of marginalized groups such as the trans and nonbinary communities. And as someone who is neurodivergent herself, I certainly wouldn't want to be willfully ableist. I've faced ableism in one form or another for my entire life.

People could also tell you that for pretty much my entire life, I've suffered with mental illnesses. I've been professionally diagnosed with depression, anxiety disorder, PTSD, and bipolar disorder. As such, I'm prone to panic attacks, outbursts, and suicidal ideation when under extreme distress.

As soon as I saw all the anger and hurt I'd caused, I started spiraling into a severe panic attack. I didn't realize how much this meant to a lot of people. A lot of young, neurodivergent people.

I felt like the scum of the earth. I fucked up, just like I've fucked up and made people hate me so many times before in the past. This is my life. Acting without thinking, and then unintentionally hurting people.

I immediately deleted the tweet and made an admittedly hasty apology.

When I'm in this state, however, I don't think clearly. My immediate reaction was that I was just too much of a fuck-up to go on living. I made a tweet saying I wanted to kill myself without any thought as to how that might be interpreted as guilt-tripping after I fucked up instead of taking responsibility.

Again, I was called out on it. So I deleted my suicidal tweets, too.

I then started posting tweet after tweet after tweet claiming that I was sorry and wanted to “be better.” But this barrage of tweets, as sincere as I thought they were at the time, came off as shallow damage control.

Once again, I was called out on this.

The next day, I tried once again to make a no-bullshit apology. I stated in plain english that I was indeed transphobic, ableist, and 100% in the wrong to make that meme, and that, while I still didn't fully understand xenogender identities, I would be respectful of them from now on.

There were plenty of people who were glad I apologized and learned from my mistakes, and I honestly felt a lot better for it.

I was hoping this would just be a fresh start, and things could slowly go back to normal for me and my friends.

However, there were also people angry at me for “bending the knee,” as they put it. I hid their replies to my apology because some of them (not all of them) were friends of mine, and I didn't want them getting attacked.

Some of my friends took this as “throwing them under the bus,” and were angry at me for it. A few of them decided they didn't want to be my friends anymore.

My friends, whether I agree with them on everything or not, mean a lot to me. They are really the only emotional support I have. I suffer from abandonment issues and my mental illness symptoms spike whenever I lose people I consider close friends.

So I lashed out at them for not respecting my decisions. I felt like they didn't really care about my mental health or my emotional wellbeing. I was hurt. Hurt just like I hurt everyone with the meme that started this whole nightmare.

I then, once again, started posting suicidal tweets. I talked about wanting to “chug a bottle of pills” and “go out like etika.” I actually attempted to strangle myself with a bathrobe belt. But, of course, I'm an all-talk-no-action coward when it comes to suicide.

After this, something just kind of fizzled out inside of me. I came to the conclusion that as much as I wanted to just make everyone happy, I couldn't. I couldn't make everyone believe that I was sorry, and I couldn't make everyone stop seeing me as just someone who wanted to “bend the knee” to avoid backlash.

So I was done. I gave up. I didn't care anymore. I was numb.

I made one last series of tweets stating just that, announced I was taking a break from twitter to heal, privated my account, and left. (I also made a tweet asking for people to report the person who screenshotted my meme and got people on me, but then I got called out for targeting a minor, and deleted this tweet as well.)

That brings us to right now.

I decided that I needed to really sit down, gather up all my thoughts, and recount the entire series of events. I just want everything that happened, including my words and actions, to be understood.

I'm not a bad person. I'm not an ableist or a transphobe. But I am a human. A human who makes mistakes. And when I make mistakes, I want to learn and do right by the people I've hurt.

I'm also a person with an extremely fragile mental and emotional state. A person who doesn't think clearly under pressure. A person who's had to put up with a lifetime of feeling like a failure who should honestly just cease to exist.

The bottom line here is this: I've gone through the suffering that I needed to go through. I realized the consequences of my ignorance. I've tried and am still trying my best to do right by everyone. I need to get this thing off my chest, confess to my sins, and finally let this whole thing go. So I can heal. So that everyone I hurt and everyone who got caught up in this can heal.

I would be lying if I said I completely understood xenogenders at this point. I probably never will. But I don't need to understand. I just need to be respectful. Because at the end of the day, no one's hurting anyone by identifying with a xenogender identity. They're just people trying to find themselves, just like I am. Who the hell am I to put them down? I'm neurodivergent. I've been young. I should know better.

I sincerely apologize to the xenogender community, to the LGBT+ community, to my friends, and to everyone that got caught up in this.

I love you all.

TL;DR: Made a shitty meme. Didn't do my research on xenogenders. Was ableist/transphobic. Had a severe mental health breakdown. Alienated everyone. Am genuinely sorry.

NOTE: At the time of posting this, my Twitter is still on private, and I’m afraid to unprivate it just yet. I would appreciate it if my friends could share this so it can get out there.

#shut up chelle

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ooffies · 4 years

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gumdropfairy matchup request~

Hello! May I request a matchup? Sorry if it is too long. ><

Synopsis: I come off as distant and awkward. I don’t talk much and if I do, I am agreeable and soft-spoken. I would say I am sensitive, transparent, emotional, understanding, curious, carefree, and clumsy. I am expressive and am not afraid to show my feelings, people would say I am an open book. I always cry at sad movies or scenes where you're supposed to cry. I have 4 siblings and it's fun but tiring at the same time, I'm the butt of every joke and am treated like the youngest. I also like to tease those I am very close with. I am expressive and (sometimes childish) with those I am very close to and agreeable with the general public. In a group work setting, I am diligent and reasonable when doing my job.

Habits/Interests/Dreams: I say 'what the heck' a lot, it's a habit tbh. I rant when I am passionate. A dream of mine is to enjoy life with people I love, to travel, capture beautiful scenery and eat lots of sweets! I like learning about international cultures, languages and funky things like did you know smelling your own fart prevents Alzhimer's disease because of hydrogen sulfide and egg-smells? LOL.

Travel, psychology, and society-related documentaries interests me. I am currently a (elementary) A2 level Korean, I want to study more of the language because I like Korean music and culture. The concept of time travel, multitudes of reality and isekai worlds intrigue and fascinate me, I like reading fictional stuff about it. I have good knowledge of geography. My siblings always tease me when the number 13 shows because.....I want to always avoid the number and really hate that number. I used to do judo in high school and I have a fascination with martial arts. :D

Likes/Dislikes: I like pastels, sunsets, flowers, photography, sweets, fried foods, skincare, sparkly stuff, lip gloss, memes, dad jokes and games.

I dislike it when people assume things about me like they know me (when they really don't), condescending people, ignorance, waking up early and seafood. I like my freedom and want to be independent, and dislike it immensely being forced to do something I don't want to do. I really don't like listening to lectures (doesn't everyone though?). I'm not academically inclined but I have decent grades. I really don't like math and chemistry T_T

In depth: I am pretty sensitive when people criticize or judge me only if it's constructive but if it is outright just to insult me than I will say something bc that upsets the heck outta me. Because I have such a big immediate family (there's 7 of us) I am family-oriented so playing Obey Me really reminds me a lot of my family(esp siblings I have 4). In fact, I do get irritated easily and I am working on my short-temper. I am understanding and always try my best to not look at things just in my perspective but others as well. I am pessimistic in nature but I do genuinely want to see the good in people and in life. When thinking about my feelings and knowing the why I feel the way I do and how it affects others, you could say there is emotional intelligence. :)

My insecurity without a doubt is caring too much on what people think of me and how content I am with myself. I think this is because of me, my past "friends" who judged me so critically which had a negative effect on how I see myself. Because of that, I have very few friends. In fact, I don't really have any. I kind of just lost my self of self and trust for people. And my insecurity with of how unrefined, incompetent or unlikable I am, I've been told a lot to "grow up" and "stop asking dumb questions."

I want to be loved and not to be judged so harshly. Since I am slowly becoming an adult I have to discard my awkward, playful tendencies in front of others.

Hobbies: otome games, learning Korean, pilates/ workout videos, eating, and bothering my siblings

My Fangirl self: I am a big fan of Avatar:The Last Airbender and One Punch Man (Genos is husbando material lol). I also really like Free and Haikyuu. Hot 2D men, babies, and puppies are my weaknesses. I read a lot of romance, isekai, and action webtoons/mangas and like watching it too.

Appearance wise, I'm 163 cm, and Asian so I have medium standard straight dark hair, round brown eyes, and I'm slim.

Thank you!~

♡-------------------------------------------------------♡

Hey hey! Sorry for the really long wait! Let's get right to it!

I match you with......................... Beelzebub!

He loves learning about you and the things you love! Every day he feels that he learns something new about you! He loves listening to you talk about your passions and interests. You two also talk about your families and being the youngest siblings.

You two are fried food buddies, always trying new fried creations and you guys sometimes even fry random things so you can try them! Lets just say that fired toothpaste idea Beel had wasn't his best fried food idea.......

Beel once ate a whole tube of your lip gloss once cause it "smelled good". He felt super bad after that a bought you a bunch of your favorite lip gloss as an apology.

Always gets worried when you cry, even if it's at a sad scene in a movie. He's always there to comfort you when you're angry or stressed. He gives the best hugs in the world.

You actually got hom into Avatar the last Airbender. He enjoyed the show a whole lot and he nows comes to you for show recommendations cause he says you have a good taste in TV shows.

He loves hugging and holding you. When you two are out in public together, he is always holding your hand. His favorite place to kiss you is your lips and his favorite place to be kissed by you is his cheek!

@gumdropfairy I hope you enjoyed it and once again sorry for the wait! This whole pandemic really has me stressed and feeling down, I was really unmotivated. But now I'm feeling better and will try to write at least one match up every day! Thanks for the request have a lovely rest of your day!😊-ooffies💛

Match up requests: closed

Asks: open!

#obey me!#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me beelzebub #obey me matchups #match ups #submission

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haikyupid · 4 years

Text

Order from Haikyuu Teens,

uhh ,, hello !! if it’s not too late , could i get a dalgona matchup latte please ? i am a infp-t & my enneagram type is 9 ! people who didn’t really know but now they do say that i always looked/seemed like the kind of person who is really cold & stuck up (only bc i look “mean”) . i’m very loyal . i’m the kind of person who’ll support & be there for my friends . i’m also caring (maybe a little too caring from what my friends tell me. but, i even know that myself) & i tend to be really selfless . once i get to know you , i’m really childish & i always try to make a dumb joke to make you laugh & ,,, i become more talkative & loud . i always catch myself rambling about random things & having too much enjoyment talking about things that i really like . mainly , only people who are close to me see how i really act & behave . i was never really an out-there kind of person ,,, i always like to keep to myself . but moving on to cons , i’m a total pushover— like— i’m not even going to lie about that fact . it sucks but , it is what it is . i overthink waay too much & it causes to make myself panic sometimes . i’m really stubborn & i also really don’t know when to shut up & i tend to be very vain . i also keep my feelings to myself because i feel like i’ll be such a burden or just ruin the mood . i’m a total lazy person & i tend to really take things to heart (which makes me want to morph myself into a person that someone wants me to be) & dear gOd ,,,, i’m so awkward (that it even makes my friends feel uneasy or awkward as well) . i really love to draw , stay up late , sing , & dance (even though i’m very terrible at both ^__^;;) . i also really enjoy being stupid on calls , sending memes , korean food , & kpop ! hmm … my dislikes ? well— i don’t like it when people are obviously being rude for no reason . i dislike very bright colors (neons) , spiders , getting dirty , the cold , & squash . let’s see … in a relationship , i like someone who will make feel safe & loved . i have very low self-esteem so i seek someone who is supporting , too . someone who is caring even if they tend to act cold or maybe stubborn . & i like someone who’s going to be there for me like i’m always going to be there for them , no matter what . i also really like a someone who is strong , cool , & protective . i do like that small things like “hey , go to sleep .. its late” & “good morning/good night” text , heh . but i things i don’t like too much in a relationship is too much pda . i’m not really a big fan of making out in the halls & stuff . but ofc i don’t mind holding hands & small kisses on the lips (i like to show all my love & affection behind closed doors) .

aCK- i hope this is okay & not too much- sorry if it is !! i hope you have a wonderful day ! :>> i really love your blog ♡♡

Thank you so much for ordering and checking up on Kyupid's Love Shop. One Dalgona Matchup Latte coming up! Huh, I’ve been seeing lots of side effects for this one… anyways, I matcha up with ˚₊·͟͟͟͟͟͟͞͞͞͞͞͞➳❥

➞ before you two were in a relationship, ryuu didn’t actually… particularly like you, he was still smitten with ms. kiyoko y’know

➞ he’s sadly one of those people who do judge the book by its cover, but only because he prefers to be surrounded by positive people, and well… you didn’t particularly radiate that kind of vibe with, uh, your face (he really do be a hypocrite though with that ‘grr grr thug’ face of his 😔✌️)

➞ ryuu found you so intimidating (and beautiful, but he was in denial back then), you once saw him do his signature ‘gangsta’ look at you; yeah… y’all definitely didn’t get along at first — but ahem, let me introduce you to another matchmaker, ennoshita!

➞ enno knows your true personality and he vibes with you so well, therefore it really confused him when you accidentally slipped in something about ryuu’s attitude towards you during one of your guys’ convos (y’all were in a group project together) and he knows the reason why ryuu tends to avoid you, so he devised a plan to get you two to know each other: have a study date!

➞ when ryuu walked into the room and saw you, mans turned into the flash and just dashed towards the exit — but enno was one step ahead, so he got nishi to lock the doors before dropping off tanaka, and his attempt to leave failed

➞ it was soooo embarrassing for the both of you when enno kept on trying to keep a conversation going between the two of you; but when he decided to leave to make hot chocolate, ryuu apologizes and voices his concerns, and you just reply with “oh… oh, yeah that kind of happens… a lot” so you try to explain your side; he was honestly heartbroken from hearing that you experience it often, so he made it his mission to make it up to you

➞ and now would you look at that! you and ryuu are suddenly a couple now— (better thank enno for that)

➞ he will apologize profusely about the way he treated you beforehand, even if you’ve already told him a millions times that it’s fine; like y’all already have kids and he’ll still be like:

“hey, honey…”

“yeees?”

“you remember that time in high schoo—“

“omg, ryuu, not this again…”

“i just want to say that i’m so sor—“

“it’s been 19 years!”

➞ you will honestly feel like a queen, i’m being legit here; he’ll not only be your king, he’ll also be your knight in shining armour, and your butler — he’s the whole package, bby, and you’re one lucky girl to get all of that

➞ you think you’re too caring? nah, ryuu’s about to show you the life of a full time simp (skjkskss ik that being a simp is like so looked down on, but ik that every girl wants a man who’s a simp anyways)

➞ i’m kidding, he’s actually not a simp (A man who foolishly overvalues and defers to a woman, putting her on a pedestal) but more so he’s a doting boyfriend; you just know that you’re always gonna be at your best once you get into a relationship with him, so in a way, you are treated like a queen but not to the point where he worships the ground you walk on

➞ unless you tell him that you need some space, he’ll either have his arm lightly snaked around your waist or his hand resting on the small of your back; it’s his way of knowing that you’re protected and safe around him

➞ this relationship’s dynamic works extremely well since you both balance each other’s personalities in the aspects that you won’t have to worry about being a pushover around him since that’s not something that’ll occur with him; your more reserved personality compliments his outgoing one since if ever needed, you two could bring out the other side more in each other; he tends to have a more free personality (he’s still mature, but tends to enjoy life’s offerings) so whenever he feels that you’re overthinking again, he will coo and just reassure you that it’s okay to overthink sometimes, but it’s not worth having it control your entire mood and day

➞ ngl, he’s hella stubborn as well, but when it comes to you, he makes sure to understand your thinking first and then decide before he’ll let you take control — unless he thinks you’re completely wrong, then he won’t hesitate to put a foot down because he’s not going to help you turn into a spoiled brat, which is what hubby-material boyfriends do!

➞ to him though, it’s okay to be a lil’ vain, everyone wants to look to their best! but if it does however is on the verge of crossing the line of being full-on narcissistic, then he’ll confront you about it and ask you about why you’re acting the way you are, he’ll just try to put you into healthy-thinking mode back again

➞ you like memes? welp, that makes the two of you then! he definitely sends those wholesome memes, but his most favourite one to send you (especially as one those ‘good morning texts’) is:

➞ then he follows it up with ‘good morning, babe. strong power thank you to you always 😙😙 i love you so much. see ya at school!’ (aight, sorry, i just had to)

➞ kpop dances and karaoke on. the. daily! it doesn’t matter which song he’s dancing/singing to, as long as he gets to see you smile and know that you’re happy, he’ll do it all for you; he’ll also be your hypeman, and you’ll legit feel as if you’re an actual kpop idol with all the cheering he does — we love a supportive bf in this household

➞ *cough* he’ll sing lemonade by jeremy passion to you and he sounds so fokin beautiful— *cough*

➞ during calls with him, all you can hear is very loud laughter; whoever hears it (saeko for the most part) will just unconsciously smile since your guys’ laughs are just so genuine, even if it sometimes sounds a bit like a bunch of overheated kettles, they’ll just know that you both are having such a good time together and i mean, who wouldn’t want something like that?

➞ with you, he’s the type to send a message asking if you’re awake at like 2 AM, and if you do reply then expect him to come thru your window with some food in hand because he just felt like hearing your voice and seeing you; if not, then he’ll just send some cute message like ‘sleep tight and have good dreams, baby, i’ll see you tomorrow at school’

➞ once you two started dating, ryuu just had a more realistic view of relationships and he honestly prefers it way more than the scenarios that he’s created; now he appreciates privacy when it comes to showing affection instead of full-on just laying it all out in public, it just makes it that much more special to him; holding hands and just small skin contacts is his much more preferred pda than bear-hugging you or kissing you

➞ he’s not as needy as most expected him to be, in fact he actually often just caters to your needs because to him that’s enough; so expect small gifts here and there like making you a bento box, buying you strawberry milk, key-chains and bracelets, etc.

➞ he’s just more mature when he’s in an actual relationship because he does think that that’s something special that should only be shared between the two lovers; that doesn’t mean that he won’t occasionally show you off though, so you may or may not accidentally hear him rambling to the vbc about how lucky he is to call you his

➞ he will remember and notice every little thing about you; he notices that you’re humming some new kpop song absentmindedly? he’ll ask you about it during lunch; you made a small comment about liking korean food? he’ll make some for you! and best believe it tastes amaaaaaazing

➞ with ryuu, the thought of being a burden won’t ever cross your mind because he will often remind you that you make his days so much better and thank you for it (just good shet right here)

➞ even if you feel bad for not going to gyms with him because of your tendencies of being a lil’ lazy, he won’t force you at all; he’ll either just give you a kiss on the lips and walk you home before going, or he’ll call you whilst he’s at the gym; you’ll just feel so appreciated

➞ oh, and you won’t ever have to be worried about being awkward! there’s no such thing when you’re with your boyfriend ryuu, everything just comes so natural when you’re with him, everything will just feel so right

➞ this is the relationship that everyone knows will eventually turn into marriage and building a joyous family, and everyone expects to be invited because they all wouldn’t want to miss any part of yours and ryuu’s genuine relationship that they’ve all more than likely have been a part of since the beginning; in short, everyone wants to witness your relationship’s full story till it’s very end.

I hope you enjoyed your Dalgona Matchup Latte! Here’s a visual of your chaotically genuine relationship with Tanaka Ryuunosuke: After seeing your true persona during the study sesh with Enno, he’s become all flustered every time he looks at you instead of looking at you with his usual ‘imma thug’ look; Your first kiss (he planned it, no kidding — literally place, time, the vibes, he just wanted it to be perfect for you); Tanaka likes to take his shirt off, so when you both cuddled for like the third time, and just blacked out from exhaustion after a heavy day of practice, he wakes up to find you cuddled up against his chest which is bare, this man screams— his thoughts were like ‘omg, did we do it? was i drunk? omg, pls forgive me, y/n 😭’… and you’re just left there like ‘bruh, dafuq?’; when he’s feeling appreciative of you or just being soft in general, he hugs you similar to the gif and kisses your temple before burying his face into your hair to whisper “i love you so much, y/n, you don’t even understand”; him holding your hand to his face and just talking to you, whether it’s about your day or his, or telling you how much he loves you, is probably something that he does all time whenever you two are alone.

Thank you so much for ordering and being patient with Kyupid's Love Shop, I hope you’ll still order in the future! Have a very very lovely day, sweetie ♡⋆.ೃ࿔*

an: lmao, forget about kiyoko, you his girl now. periodt.

sorry this took waaay too long, bby 😔 the spa day turned into a whole pamper-me day so i was out all day… i’m really sorry, i hope you still like your order even though it came later than promised 🥺 if there’s anything wrong (gif, colored texts not showing up) then please message me!

tanaka is waaaay too underrated, but i honestly think that he’ll literally be one the top 5 best bfs from haikyuu, like legit this man will make you feel like a damn queen (kiyoko do be lucky tho) maybe not in the beginning, but like definitely after a few weeks or so.

#kyupid’s love shop #dalgona matchup latte #tanaka ryuunosuke #haikyuu matchups #hq matchups #submission

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saintjojis · 5 years

Text

The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot

Genre: Angst, just angst.

Word Count: 3255

A/N: There isn’t really a pairing in this, it’s Vernon centric; and it’s based on true events. Love ain’t easy.

[nonie🥴- 8:09pm: yoooo check this out lmao- ATTACHMENT: 1 IMAGE]

[nonie🥴- 8:09pm: btwbtw are u coming over tonight? chan & kwan are coming, i think a few more people are comin too]

[soonie🐅- 8:09pm: JSJSNS]

[soonie🐅- 8:10pm: sorry dude i can’t make it )):]

[soonie🐅, 8:10pm: hey dude when u get the chance can u check out this choreo?- ATTACHMENT: noon.docx]

[soonie🐅- 8:11pm: night mr. chwe]

[nonie🥴- 8:12pm: good night mr. kwon]

Something felt odd about the conversation, but Vernon couldn’t quite place what it was. Soonyoung wasn’t really the type to say good night, especially this early; add to the fact that they stayed up nearly every night texting, and sending each other memes. Maybe he was reading too much into it.

Even if he was, he now had to call up Mingyu to tell him that everyone cancelled. He felt a little disheartened, they had all been so excited for tonight; and now, it seems like no ones available. He could understand that things come up, so he pushed the feeling aside. At least Chan and Seungkwan were still coming over.

[kwannie🍊-8:21pm: dude soonyoung cancelled???]

[nonie🥴-8:21pm: yeah dog,,, guess it’s us 3 again,,,,, like Always]

[chan🦖-8:22pm: Uh,,, I can’t make it either,, sorry guys]

Bummer. Nearly all hope was lost, until Seungkwan texted him saying he still wanted to hang out, even if everyone else stood them up. Vernon felt that, he really wanted to hang out and have a good time like always. Leave it to Seungkwan to always pull through.

They went out for dinner and a walk around a night time bazaar of sorts. They had a lot of fun, these days it seemed that it was them against the world. They talked about everything going on lately, how they thought it strange that everyone cancelled, Soonyoung’s cryptic message, Chan’s attitude as of late; simply everything. Seungkwan had the brilliant idea that to commemorate the occasion, they get matching necklaces. A symbol of their friendship. They walked around looking for something nice, something that would suit them. When they finally did, they laughed and talked about how dumb they felt; even if it wasn’t dumb. Vernon ironically posted their necklaces on his Instagram story with the tag “friendship goals”, thinking nothing more of it.

That is until Soonyoung posted on his own story, a picture of him and Chan, with the tag “friendship goals”. They were taken aback by this. It felt a little aggressive, if they were being honest. Chan followed suit with his own picture of him and Soonyoung, with the same tag. What were they trying to do? Vernon shook it off, Seungkwan, however, felt there was more to it. On the drive back to Vernon’s place, they talked about how suspicious everything was. It was very confusing why they’d even post that, as if they were mocking Vernon’s picture.

Once back home, Vernon read Soonyoung’s letter disguised as a choreography to Seungkwan. Halfway through, he started crying. Everything was too much, and he didn’t know what to feel. Soonyoung’s words were so sincere, and so warm and nice; Vernon wasn’t sure what he was feeling, or how to process the confession that had been presented to him. It didn’t make him sad, it made him scared. He knew all too well how this would end. He simply couldn’t feel that for Soonyoung, it was very complicated. Now he knew that all the sappy posts Soonyoung commented on, or all the lovey dovey stories were about him. Seungkwan was equally as shocked as Vernon, but he was more worried for him.

“Dude… What are you going to say to him?”

“I don’t know… I don’t know.”

It wasn’t an easy thing to process. He was touched, he was moved; but that didn’t mean he felt what Soonyoung felt. Not romantically at least. He did love him, as a friend. One he admired, and respected immensely. Platonically, he’d move mountains for Soonyoung. He’d do anything for him. It wasn’t romantic, but it was pure, innocent, real love. He’d grown to have a special place in Vernon’s heart. Now, he had to figure out how not to break his heart. He hated being in this situation, he knew it would be painful regardless of how nice he was.

Seungkwan wouldn’t allow for Vernon to be sad over this, not tonight. He told Vernon that they could deal with it later, when they had more time to think. For now, they could focus their energy on them. They were here, it was still early so they might as well enjoy it. So they did.

They walked around the neighborhood, laughing about nothing and everything. Vernon felt better already, Soonyoung being nothing but an afterthought.

“What the fuck?!” Seungkwan turned his phone over so Vernon could see what was on the screen. It was Soonyoung. With Chan. They were hanging out. They were drinking. Vernon felt hurt, Seungkwan was livid. He was fired up, not necessarily because they were hanging out; but because they had lied. They’d lied, and decided to blow them off. Soonyoung had been a coward, and Chan an accomplice. They were in shock. Vernon felt stupid for having cried over Soonyoung’s words, it made him feel conflicted. It was clear to him that Chan knew about it. The night went on, they were determined to not let it affect them; but it was now a forethought for Vernon. How could he think about anything else? The timing was awful too, they had a final group assignment due on Monday, and they hadn’t even started. They’d deal with it tomorrow. Tonight, Vernon wanted to cry.

Sunday proved to be even worse than Saturday, where the day before had started out fine; Sunday was a bad one right from the beginning.

[chan🦖-10:32am: So you guys don’t give a shit about failing?]

[kwannie🍊-10:34am: we do??? cool it dude]

[chan🦖-10:35am: Well it doesn’t fucking seem like it.]

What the fuck was with the attitude? And, as if they were connected telepathically, Seungkwan texted him about it. Why was Chan blaming them if he hadn’t done anything either. It turned into a war. One that Seungkwan and Vernon fought together, and got nothing from. Vernon wound up saying hurtful things to Chan, only after he’d hurt his feelings and proceeded to make him lose his patience entirely. If he was so up in arms about the assignment not being done, he could do it himself. Which only warranted an empty apology from Chan upon realizing that he couldn’t do the work by himself. In the end, Vernon wound up doing the whole thing himself, getting a total of half an hour of sleep in order to get it done. He refused to talk to Chan, it wasn’t like he’d earned forgiveness yet. Not after genuinely hurting his feelings. It wasn’t the first time either, he’d let it slide many times before.

Vernon could hardly concentrate on the work in front of him, though. He still had Soonyoung’s words in his head, eating away at his mind. He decided to write him something too. Something nice and heartfelt, to explain his situation, as complicated as it was.

[nonie🥴-3:47am: hey dude, when you’ve got time can u check out the lyrics to this track i wrote? good night - ATTACHMENT: late night.docx]

Seeing each other around campus and in class proved to be very difficult for Vernon. From the moment he got there he noticed how close Soonyoung and Chan were; how Soonyoung wouldn’t even look at him. It sent a flood of resentment surging through his body. He kept checking if Soonyoung had seen his message already, it just stood at ‘sent’ while Soonyoung was on his phone constantly. Even more resentment followed.

That afternoon when he went home, Seungkwan called him. Chan had the nerve to confront him, and demand an apology. As if he hadn’t laughed at them and insinuated that they were lazy, good for nothings the day before. He even had the nerve to claim Vernon was in the wrong for feeling hurt. Whatever Chan was doing, it wasn’t working. Seungkwan is a lot more reactionary than Vernon is, so the screaming at each other on campus scene was quite an interesting one. He really couldn’t believe it, at this point, Vernon didn’t think Chan could fix their friendship. It would take a lot more than a simple apology to make things better between them.

Regardless, he pushed it all aside; they had even more assignments to get done; and working together seemed to be out of the picture. So, as per usual, Vernon took care of everything. Seungkwan had a valid excuse since he had another individual assignment due, Chan on the other hand, was nowhere to be seen. He only popped in to complain about how they’re not going to get the assignment done on time and how they’re all going to fail. Really helpful. Still he managed- again- to get it done on time.

However, everything was weighing heavy on him. He felt the entire situation with Soonyoung and Chan taking a toll on him, he could only put it off for so long. Vernon checked his phone every five minutes hoping that Soonyoung has at least seen his message. Still nothing. Yet Soonyoung shared meme after meme about how heartbroken he was. How could he? Everything was right there in his letter, maybe he was misunderstanding everything. Maybe, Soonyoung preemptively distanced himself to avoid the heartache and rejection. The real question was “why?”. Soonyoung knew that Vernon cared for him dearly. And if he did distance himself purposely, why make it so public? He wasn’t dropping Vernon’s name, but there was simply no chance that his friends didn’t know about it given the replies and comments. Vernon just wanted to understand why. Of course, Seungkwan sent him everything he saw; which Vernon was grateful for, because if he didn’t he’d still be making excuses for Soonyoung.

As much as it hurt to see him blaming all his sadness on him, it was for the best. If that was what Soonyoung chose to put out into the world, and if he chose to paint that picture, then Vernon didn’t want anything to do with it. What isn’t to say a breakup would be worse? It really hurt to be put at the forefront of this heartbreak, unwillingly and without his knowledge.

[nonie🥴-9:36pm: i wanted to talk about this in person, but it’s better if we leave it like this. you go your way i go mine. have a nice life mr. kwon, make the best of it.]

[soonie🐅-10:17pm: can i call you?]

Vernon waited, biding his time. He didn’t want to talk over the phone, that wouldn’t help either of them. Instead they agreed to meet the following day on campus to talk. By themselves.

The next morning, after a long night of learning a semester’s worth of statistics, he walked to the library looking for Soonyoung. Vernon sent him a text, telling him where he was. Time crept by, so Vernon listened to music and worked a little more on his still unfinished assignments. It was now nine thirty and there were no signs of Soonyoung anywhere. So Vernon walked out of the building and looked around. He saw Soonyoung in a bench not too far away; he was with Chan, and Mingyu. They were laughing and having a good time, Soonyoung, phone in hand, sat there simply laughing along. To say Vernon was mad would be an understatement. Did Soonyoung not care? How could he be acting like this? Vernon sat himself on a bench at which he could see them, and waited. It had now been an hour since he’d sent Soonyoung that message. He felt a knot in his throat swell, and his vision got blurry. It hurt. Just as he sat there on the verge of tears he looked up to see Chan an Soonyoung walking in his direction, they saw him. They seemed completely taken aback by him given they went behind one of the buildings so they were out of sight. If Vernon wasn’t so emotionally invested in both of them, he would’ve thought they ditched him.

Soon enough, however, Soonyoung emerged from behind the wall. He carried himself like he wasn’t nervous or worried, but his expression and mannerisms said otherwise. Vernon, on the other hand, was angry.

“What took you so long?”

“My phone died, I didn’t see your message. I’m sorry.”

What a lame excuse.

“Do you have anything you want to say to me?” Vernon was direct, and dry. He wasn’t in the mood for being friendly.

“Hansol, I love you. I don’t want you out of my life.”

“It doesn’t seem like you want me in it, though.”

“I’m sorr-“

“When you blatantly ignore me, I don’t get the idea that you want me in your life. It gives me the opposite impression, actually. Waiting and waiting, but you won’t even look at me when I pass by. You won’t even wave at me. Nothing, like I don’t exist anymore. I thought I made things clear in my letter. I want to be your friend, I love you as a friend.”

“But, I don’t want to be just your friend. Every since I met you, you’ve been all I can think about. I love everything about you, and we’ve got so much in common. Whenever you talked about something I didn’t know I’d look it up to understand you. You’re funny. You’re all I’ve ever wanted.” There was a hiny of desperation in Soonyoung’s voice. He was beginning to choke up. Vernon’s anger dissipated, and was replaced with sadness and stress instead.

“You know we can’t be together. I don’t love you that way. I wouldn’t want to hurt you. That isn’t my intent. I value you so much as my friend,” a small sob interrupted his sentence, “I don’t want to lose you. You’re so important to me, please understand that some things aren’t meant to be.”

“It doesn’t have to end like it always does, you know. We don’t have t-“

“Soonyoung, it always ends up like that. You think that it won’t but it will. We’ll date, you’ll realize I don’t love you, and you’ll be hurt. You’ll want to hold my hand, and I won’t let you. You’ll want to hold me, and I won’t let you. You have to realize that dating me won’t make me love you, and you’ll only be in love with the idea of me. I can’t love you like you want. Like you deserve. You deserve more than a one sided relationship. You deserve someone who can actually love you. And I can’t love you how you want.”

Vernon broke at that moment, why can’t Soonyoung understand? He was crying, hard. The idea of losing a friend so close to him was genuinely upsetting.

“Please, Hansol, we can try it out and if it doesn’t work I won’t hold it against you. I won’t hate you. I don’t hate you.”

“You don’t, but you will.” He stood, grabbing his things. Not looking at him once. “I should leave.”

So he did, without looking back. He sat in a corner of the library where no one would find him or hear him cry. It was a bitter end, and a depressing goodbye to someone he wanted around for a long time. Vernon couldn’t help but feel guilt crawling up his body. Invading him, like a leech. He felt sick, his head spinned. He texted Seungkwan to tell him, he told him everything that was said. Seungkwan said he’d be there as soon as possible.

Vernon cut all ties with Soonyoung. It didn’t do him any good to blame himself for what happened; as Seungkwan had put it, if he couldn’t see him as anything more than a friend, then they were never really friends to begin with. Still, as helpful as that was, Vernon kept feeling a twinge of pain and guilt every time he saw Soonyoung comment on memes about heartbreak on his timeline, blaming “someone” for feeling like utter shit and absolutely worthless. It hurt to see him think that Vernon didn’t care, or that he didn’t love him. Sure it wasn’t romantic, but platonic love is just as important and meaningful. He constantly remembered every good day they’d had together, all the times they went out, inside jokes; everything. It was all tainted. It didn’t bring him joy, it only brought him heartache.

Then, all of Soonyoung’s skeletons came out of the closet. He’d told his friends a different version if events; in his, they dated. Vernon was his ex-boyfriend, who dumped him because he no longer cared or loved him. To say Vernon didn’t cry when he found out would be a lie. He had no right. Then it happened. The fateful meme accusing Vernon of being very expensive to Soonyoung. Apparently he was still in debt over things he did for Vernon. Not only that, but their “friends” clowning him, agreeing with Soonyoung, taking pity on him.

‘You don’t hurt those you claim to love.’

Blocking Soonyoung wasn’t the easiest or the absolute happiest thing, but he had to for the sake of his own mental health. Which Soonyoung noticed right away. Vernon felt he needed to give him one last chance at redemption. So he texted him before blocking his number.

[nonie🥴-9:08pm: “let’s not be immature” so lets talk. ]

[soonie🐅-10:56pm: 🤔 hey? how are you?]

[nonie🥴-10:57pm: not good, but that isnt the point. the point is, u dont know why i blocked you do you?]

[soonie🐅-10:57pm: You blocked me? what’s up with that]

What? Why was he acting dumb? He really doesn’t care at all.

[nonie🥴-10:58pm: you know, talking to you was a mistake. ]

[soonie🐅-10:59pm: 😢]

[nonie🥴-11:00pm: i like that you deem this as important as i do.]

[soonie🐅-11:00pm: Well it is important]

It felt like a cruel fucking joke. One last chance at fixing everything, and he was acting like this? Fuck it, fuck him.

[nonie🥴-11:02pm: it isnt. and i know it.]

[soonie🐅-11:03pm: Do you want to talk about something? And it is important to me]

[soonie🐅-11:03pm: If you want I’ll call you, you tell me. ]

[nonie🥴-11:05pm: no. ]

[soonie🐅-11:05pm: Okay, that’s fine ]

[nonie🥴-11:06: goodbye. ]

He felt pathetic for crying about it, but it was just so obvious that Soonyoung didn’t want him around anymore. Since they couldn’t date, there wasn’t a point to trying in Soonyoung’s eyes. It’s the only way Vernon could make sense of it. Otherwise, it was all so inconsistent.

It hurt to have to say goodbye to him that way, but there was no other choice. It hurt seeing someone who you love and who claimed to love you, turn so bitter towards you. Vernon didn’t want to put up with the humiliation and character assassination taking place for something that wasn’t his fault.

A bitter end to something so sweet. Something that Vernon would bare in mind next time anyone wanted to get that close to him. He still wished Soonyoung all the best, he only hoped Soonyoung did the same for him.

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stellar-imagines · 5 years

Text

SCENARIO REQUEST: ❝watch the heat!❞

[ Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia ] [ Characters: Todoroki Shouto ]

「Scenario that takes places during the Hero Provisional License Exam where you try to break the fight between Inasa and Todoroki. Todoroki accidentally burns you but you’re not mad nor afraid, in fact, you’re proud he’s using his flames.」

TODOROKI SHOUTO

Inasa and Todoroki. You knew that they had a problem against one another the moment they locked eyes and exchanged a few words. Being one of the many people who had finished earlier on the first part of the exam, you were given more time to rest. Although you finished things up a little later than Todoroki, you managed to overhear what he and Inasa were talking about. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that they didn’t like each other. Once Inasa had stepped away from your boyfriend, you walked up to him, striking a conversation in hopes of the bi-color haired boy to take his mind off whatever the wind-quirked boy said to him.

To say that you were worried was an understatement. You had been too busy reassuring civilians and guiding them to safety. The moment Gang Ocra showed up and when the announcement of continuing rescue while villains are in the scene reached your ears, you quickly made your move, guiding the civilians and carrying them to a much safer place. The earth termor that caused you to stumble and nearly fall over was a sign that you were close to the fight scene. Along the way, you saw a few unconscious villains but you paid them no heed, scanning the vicinity for civilians.

Coming to a stop, you found a genuinely frightened girl at the side, staring at the fight with pure fear in her eyes. You followed her gaze, noticing Todoroki and Inasa arguing back and forth, releasing their quirks out of pure rage. The wind brought Todoroki’s flames around carelessly, heading straight towards the fear-stricken girl who could shut her eyes and await her doom.

You stepped in just in time, raising your right hand to shield the girl behind you. A soft, relieved sigh left your lips as the flames and wind disappeared. You turned around to make sure the victim was unharmed. The girl let out a gasp at the sight of the cuts that littered your right arm and the burn mark on the palm of your hand. You brushed it off, assuring the girl that you will be back for her before stepping between the two boys―by crashing onto the ground to catch them off guard.

“What.....!?” the ground beneath them begin to crack, making them lose balance and focus simultaneously.

As you had planned, the wind and fire around you had stopped which meant you successfully flustered them and made them deactivate their quirk. You turned your attention towards the Shiketsu first year.

“Save your fight for later, please. You’re in the Provisional License Exams, don’t let personal matters get the best of you.” you told the tall male, brushing the dirt off your shoulders and wiping away the blood forming on your skin.

“There are people within this vicinity so stay alert and pay attention before you just randomly use your quirk.” you reprimanded in the Wind quirk user who nodded meekly in response, apologizing to you. Then you turned your attention towards your boyfriend who was the other participant in the fight. With your hands on your hips, you lightly glared at him. Todoroki tensed up a little under your gaze. You did the ‘I’m watching you’ gesture before walking away with the young girl on your back.

After the exams, you were ecstatic to hear that you had passed with flying colors. Before you could meet up with everyone else, you visited the infirmary to get your wounds checked. There were a few others inside the room so it took you quite a while to be tended to. Once you were all patched up, you headed out to gather with your friends. Before you could leave the building, Todoroki stood there, hands in his pocket as he leaned against the wall. Noticing your presence, he moved slowly towards you, looking at the bandages and wrappings around your arms and face. His hetero-chromatic hues were only focused on your right arm which was wrapped entirely in bandages.

“It’s fine, Shouto-kun. It doesn’t hurt, you see. You know my quirk! It makes me pain tolerant!” you smiled, raising your arm and patting it gently.

“But it’s still my fault―” you grabbed his cheeks quickly to stop him from degrading himself. Todoroki stumbled back at the sudden gesture you did and gazed at you with wide eyes. He studied your expression briefly; strong, filled with determination and loving.

“I’m really proud of you, Shouto. I know how hard it has been for you to use your flames but you’ve gotten much stronger now. You’ve trained so hard and now look where it’s got you to. I don’t think you need a license, you’re already starting to become a hero in my eyes.” you smiled fondly at your lover, caressing his cheek. Todoroki’s face turned into a shade of red, his expression a mix of surprise and embarrassment.

“But.....” you muttered.

“I heard from Midoriya! Right after I left, you picked a fight with him again, didn’t you!? You were paralyzed after getting carried away and Midoriya had to save your ass!”

“.....Sorry.”

“Seriously.....! You better make up with him during the Remedial Lessons! Or its no cuddles for you!” you huffed before walking past the dumbfounded male who began jogging after you.

“Anything but that please.”

Total: 889 words Published: 16.03.2019

Thank you for requesting! (ㅅ•᎑•) I thought Inasa was a really cool character!ヽ(・∀・)ﾉ Then again, I’m not that all familiar with his personality so I avoided putting too much of him here....― author Lou

Thank you for requesting! As soon as we got this request, we were so hyped because after finishing our last few requests, there were none for the next few days. Hope you liked it, anon. ― author Natsuki

We opened up an ask meme [?] If you’re interested please have a look here

Please do not mind the grammar mistakes and typos.

129 notes · View notes

lesbian-octoling · 5 years

Text

Hey guys, Xeno drama ((you know, about the banner and hate and whatnot)) below the cut if you don’t wanna see it!!!

@mrkamabo--co Hello! I don’t know if you’re ever going to see this, but. It’s here.

First of all, yes, it’s me! lesbian-octoling, rhi-draws-things, whatever you wanna call me. I’m making this because I’ve heard through a friend of mine that I trust that you are a relatively good person, and while I don’t agree with everything you’ve done, I figured i might as well try to clear things up between us.

First off-

I’m sorry.

This is a 100% genuine, formal apology. I am sorry your medical issues are acting up, I understand completely. I had and almost identical use (albeit with chemical imbalances making me throw up, instead of breathing/heart issues, but both caused by stress), so I get it.

I’m not here to stress you further. In fact, I’m here to try and resolve the issue. I don’t want you to feel the way you do, and I don’t want to start more drama. I should know, i’ve been receiving nasty shit for a while. If you don’t want to read this- that’s okay! Don’t stress yourself, dude.

I just feel like this is important, because we never actually talked- and lack of communication often leads to violence.

But there are a few thing I wanted to address- first and foremost, the ‘xeno free zone’ banner, and the tags.

#‘you’re a coward cuz u wanna draw them with t^ddy’#i don’t do that in the first place lmao#and if you’re going to say:#'its actually scientifically accurate!’#nope it really isn’t #why?#why would squids/octopi evolve to have digigrades/muzzles/claws on their hands?#why would they look like goats with their eyes and muzzles?#they would have flat fish face!#have squid/octo hat heads!#like the third stage in their canon evolution!#exaggerate that if you want scientifically accurate squidlings/octolings/inklings!#otherwise.. yall just makin them into furries tbh#note: i have a surplus of fursonas#k peace

Ah, I hope you don’t mind me going off a bit, but I did want to say things!!!

Muzzles: Inkling beaks, IRL, are very long! they just look flat because.. well, squids are long! But if you put that into something shaped like a human head, they need a bit more room to stretch out.

Claws: they’re not actually claws, they’re hooks! Just like real deep-sea squids have hooks made of chitin that can retract back into their tentacles, which is why i made them like that. As you can see when they go back into heir squid forms, their arms and legs ARE just evolved tentacles!

Here’s a cool example of the hooks, as compared to some of my squid hands:

‘goat noses’: This is because… it’s not a nose! A real squid breathes through it’s siphon, which is one, large hole. That’s why their nose is like that- it’s not two nostrils, it’s one hole, but flattened down so it’s not just a big ol’ hole in their face. If it was, things might get into it, like dirt or bugs or.. i dunno.

Digigrades: admittedly, this is just because it’s fun, and theres no reason they shouldn’t. Any other similarities to cats is just… coincidental, really, as cats and squids have a lot of similarities (liking the sun, chasing lights, etc).

Eyes: Actually, this was a mistake. When i FIRST started getting into splatoon i was like ‘wait squids have horizontal pupils right’ and only found out later that no.. that’s octopi! But oh well, it was a bit late, eh? live and learn.

I’m not saying its fully scientifically accurate- hell, course it’s not! But its more biologically accurate than having them being made of ink. Mostly, I just think it’s fun, cus I’m a budding biologist and I think it’s cool to explore these concepts.

Ok! Thats all I gotta say. I just wanted a chance to explain myself, s’all! As for the banner itself… while it may have been joking in nature, I do think it was a bit rude. Kinda like swinging a bat at a hornet’s nest, yeah..? Like you said- “but yknow tumblr be tumblr, and i honestly expected This™”… you gotta watch out what you say sometimes. You could’ve made it more obvious that you were joking- putting ‘XENO FREE ZONE’ with bit red X’s and ‘feel free to reblog :)’ just has.. a very mean tone to it, and it rubbed a lot of people the wrong way, regardless of your intentions. It really didn’t sound like a joke, to a lot of people, including me.

Though, maybe, we’re all just a bit wary- I’ve been receiving asks telling me to- quite literally- kill myself, multiple times, over this. I also know several friends who have gotten the same messages (a few of which don't even draw xeno, but simply because they are my friends). I think me (and other xeno artists, though I cannot speak for them) have a right to be wary, when we’re so used to being bashed. A lot of people are scared, and it doesn’t make what some people said right, I’m just… telling you why that massive backlash happened.

And by ‘massive backlash’…. if I’m being honest- and I don’t mean to make it sound trivial- a lot of the responses to those posts weren’t truly mean. Some people sent a clown meme, a lot of people responded with ‘why are you hating us, were just having fun’. A few were pretty mean, yes, but I could count them on one hand. These were light hearted in nature, and nothing like some of the truly nasty things that could’ve been said. You wouldn’t believe the things I’ve received in my inbox…

I think a lot of this could’ve been avoided if your post right after had simply been an apology. Instead of playing the victim card, simply say ‘ah, that last post was a joke- i sincerely apologize, and I might’ve worded it poorly’. That’s it. And it could have been avoided if you said, in the tags ‘this is a joke post don't take it seriously’. But instead, you went on the criticize xeno aspects. Not saying you’re wrong, but pointing out why so many people took it the wrong way.

But.. the main thing I wanted to address was this post.

I.. can’t say I’m in the right, but I can’t say you are, either. I probably shouldn’t have made that post- but it was meant more as an off-hand joke. I didn’t mention you at all, as I didn’t want anyone to hate on you. It’s more of a running joke for my blog of ‘sexy tartar’, which is why it was funny enough that I brought it up.

#can’t feel safe#when i put an opinion out there#its easy.. to ignore a post yknow…? It’s also easy not to make a joke like that. Again- maybe you intended it as a joke, but it’s like one of those shitty april fools pranks where you tell somebody something bad happened. We got scared. Doesn’t make it right of us, but it doesn’t make it right of you, either.

But the ONLY thing I’m truly angry about- if you saying that ‘you, a minor, don’t feel safe because you’re being shat on by an adult’. The reason this makes me mad is because… I’m 18. Barely. And you’re 17. I’m… not even a full year older than you. I’m still in high school. The way you worded it made it sound like i’m a 32 year old getting off on sending hate to a 13 year old- and that’s not even close to the case. That is not cool, dude.

Anyway. Sorry about that, though I hope you can see why I’m.. unhappy with the wording. I’m trying to solve things here, not make them worse, ha…

And.. yes, I did block you. But not so you wouldn’t find out. You can still see my blog; i know this. I blocked you because I’ve been getting hate anons for the past few weeks, and I can’t be too careful with who I block. I’m tired of people telling me im ‘ruining the fandom’, so I tend to block at leisure, or when I have suspicion. And a big ‘ANTI XENO’ banner is reasonable suspicion, yes…?

Again, I apologize for that post, but i was not doing to to spite you, just because I found it funny. I didn’t contribute to the spreading of hate to you in any way- I am very anti-hate messaging, and very pro ‘block and ignore if you don’t like them’. Which is.. what I was trying to do, but I didn’t want to leave us on that sour note. I did not encourage anyone to ridicule you on your post, or send you any sort of messages and asks.The only people I complained to were my girlfriend and a select few close friends, who i KNOW would not participate in any sort of hate spreading.

I’m not asking you to be friends with me. I’m simply trying to clear off any misconceptions- I’m fully welcome to hearing what you have to say back. But…

All in all, I think the gist of what im trying to say is that we all made mistakes, and we should both own up to them. I’m very sorry about your heart condition- I sincerely, 100% hope you get better. And I’m hoping that by talking it out, we can clear things up and not let it stew..? I know that sometimes these things tend to eat at me until I fix them, and that is all I’m trying to do.

I’ve unblocked you for as long as it takes for us to resolve this issue, if you would like to move to DMs, or to discord. Either works. Or.. don’t respond at all, if you don’t want.

Have a nice night, and I hope you feel better!

#drama #please don't reblog this unless you're @mrkamabo--co #im tired and don't wanna fight; dudes

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rkyjun · 5 years

Note

♫

♫ rk memes - song drabbles

now playing… 11:11 by taeyeon!

there were many memories that yeonjun had of woong that he always held dear to his heart. and though they only hurt now to even think about them, he still tries his best to keep them in a positive light.

the first date was one of his favorites. it happened about two weeks after yeonjun confessed to him. woong expressed his apologies for telling him that he had to think about it for a bit, but yeonjun was never upset with him at all. “no matter what happens, i’m still here for you,” he responds. when woong gave him the response he was secretly hoping for a week later, he jumped with glee once woong was not watching.

the reason why they were at an aquarium rather than the stereotypical restaurant or movie theater was because yeonjun tried his best to not make it seem like a date. when he told woong about it, he threw in random excuses that were all true, but were ultimately useless to the main reason. “i’m in marine bio and i want to take a closer look at the animals!”

“why in the world would you take marine biology if you hate anything related to science?”

“fishes!”

the true reality was that yeonjun wanted to visit and see the sea otters and penguins, but he thought woong would want to read the facts on the animals anyway. he probably even already knew it was going to be like a date, even though yeonjun tried his best to make it sound like it was just two buddies hanging out. they were obviously more than that, but yeonjun wasn’t really sure if he and woong were comfortable with the labels yet. he never had an actual conversation with him about it yet. they just both mutually agreed that they were gonna take it slow.

yeonjun at all wasn’t acting mature on the date. every single animal he laid his eyes on, he’d always look at them for a while with an amazed smile on his face as a silent “wow!” leaves his mouth, woong following right behind him and reading the information about them. however, he did notice woong looking a little longer at the otters. it’s understandable since they were probably the cutest thing there.

their final destination is the gift shop, only because yeonjun was interested in what could possibly be there. woong didn’t want anything. “it’s a waste of money,” he answers.

“suit yourself then,” he says before he walks to the stuffed animal section, looking around to find which one was the cutest and more fun-looking only to find a cute penguin puppet. he picks it up instantly and looks around for woong. when he finds him, he hurries over to him with the puppet in his hand. “look! it’s cute, right?”

woong tilts his head. “are you thinking of getting it?”

“of course i am, silly,” he says with a smile, putting his hand inside the puppet in order to make it move. “it’s super cute! plus it’s basically asking for me to take it home, right?” he looks at the puppet and makes it nod its head.

“you’re a baby,” he responds, making yeonjun have an idea of what to say next. it’s at this point where he wants to try something out, even though it might be a little risky and he wasn’t really sure how woong was going to react to it. but how would he know if he doesn’t try it?

“i’m your baby.” there’s a cheeky grin that follows after it and it’s enough to make woong react instantly.

“y-you!” he stutters, making yeonjun laugh.

“what? did i say something wrong?” he asks as he watches his face go red. he’s enjoying every single bit of it and he’s debating whether he should say that or not, knowing that woong would only get shyer over it.

he covers his face as if it’d hide anything from him, the only sign he sees of the reaction now is woong’s red ears. “just go buy the puppet.” his voice is muffled and there’s the “i’m so done” tone in it. it only boosts his confidence with this some more.

he obliges just because he knows he’ll tease him more later. “okay, i’ll go. but you better wait for me, cutie!” as he turns around to head to the cashier, he turns to look at the still-flustered woong who tries his best to avoid eye-contact with him. he has a feeling woong knew that he was having too much fun with this and that he wasn’t going to stop anytime soon.

…

the second memory yeonjun thought of fondly was the first kiss. it was after the third date, to be exact. he didn’t remember where it was because the only memory that stood out to him was when he walked woong to his doorstep. as he was about to turn and unlock the door with his keys, yeonjun says his name. “woong.”

when he looks back at him, yeonjun’s mind goes blank. he wasn’t sure why he even said his name to get his attention in the first place, but what he did know was that he couldn’t keep his eyes off of his lips. god, he felt nervous just even glancing at them with woong right there in front of him. when he looks up from there to woong’s eyes, he was slowly starting to know what he wanted to say.

“can i… kiss you?” he asks, his voice going soft towards the end because he felt shy about asking it. god, he felt like he was in high school again. he’s glad he’s not the only one getting embarrassed about it though because he notices woong getting flustered from the request, too. however, instead of saying anything, he decides to peck his lips and it surprises yeonjun enough that he puts his fingers over it.

it makes woong laugh and just hearing that made yeonjun want to melt. “i’ll see you later,” he says before he turns to face the door to unlock it and go inside.

“ah, yeah! i’ll see you later,” he says, walking away from the doorstep, almost tripping as a result of him walking backwards. when yeonjun notices the soft smile and the little wave, he returns it. as soon as he closes the door, yeonjun turns around so that he was walking normally. he throws a fist to the air and shouts a silent “yes!” as he makes his way to the car.

…

perhaps he was a person who was always desperate for physical contact, but the moment woong became comfortable with cuddling, yeonjun took his chances to make sure he would cuddle with him at any possible moment to do so. he was shy at first, but he eventually became comfortable with it since yeonjun was basically a giant teddy bear at this point.

yeonjun was on his phone and playing with woong’s hair when woong asks a question that makes him stop it altogether. “why do you like me?”

yeonjun frowns. “did i not tell you during my confession?”

“no, you just talked about how you’ve had ‘this feeling’ for a while and when you realized, you had to tell me because it was killing you,” he answers.

“ah.” it’s odd, but it makes sense for yeonjun to do that. “guess i should tell you then, huh?”

“that’s literally what i just asked.”

yeonjun smiles at the comment as he continues to play with woong’s hair, putting his phone to the side. “mm… well, you have pretty hair, you’re really good at kissing and you’re also really hot, especially when you’re focusing on something really hard-”

“jun,” his tone’s more serious, but it doesn’t scare yeonjun. it only makes him giggle.

“sorry, sorry. i’m not lying about that, though.” he takes a few seconds to think of how to say it because he already knows what he likes about him, but he wasn’t really sure how to phrase it. “my first impression of you was that your honesty was really cool, especially since i wasn’t completely with myself at the time. i found it really… admirable that you were able to unapologetically be yourself. and because of that, i think i was able to be more honest with you and like… genuinely be happy.”

“you’re also really dedicated and loyal, which is obviously a good thing. i think a lot of people would like you for that because i do,” he continues to ramble on. “and even though you always talk about how you hate kids, you’re very patient with them. you’re really cute when you’re around animals too.”

there’s a silence that follows after he says it, so yeonjun says something else to prevent it from being awkward. “you also have a cute smile. whenever i see you smile, i hear a choir singing.”

“that’s exaggerating,” woong points out, making yeonjun shrug. “you know, you don’t have to be happy all the time around other people.”

“i know,” he nods his head. “i’m trying to be more human nowadays, so i’m being more honest with my emotions and not forcing myself to be so 'happy’ all the time. but i don’t really have to fake that with you. you know when i’m happy and when i’m not.”

“good. you deserve to live an honest life.” yeonjun gives his head a smooch and it makes woong react immediately. “you ruined the moment.”

“i didn’t, but whatever you say.”

…

before the breakup, he’d always look back at those times as a way to make himself happy. they were what kept him through the day and it always compelled him to check on woong and make sure he was okay via text. but now, as he looks at them, his heart only aches because he wasn’t even sure if he could even face him without the urge to run away.

it’s been more than a month and though he was doing way better than he was before, it still felt like a chore to him to go out and live life as normal. he missed so many classes and the ones he didn’t miss, he made sure he wouldn’t have to face him so that he could be able to go through it. he put the penguin puppet in a closet where he was sure he would never ever see again.

but there’s still the pictures on his phone and the text history that he never bothered to delete because he would want to look at them to reminisce how happy he was. how happy they were. all this time, yeonjun thought he was doing something right because he was able to make woong comfortable with him. he was able to make him trust him. but when he broke it off in person, it made yeonjun question if he really was able to do all that. maybe, if he was more better, he could make woong love him too.

he knows that time is the only medicine to heartbreak, but it’s taking its sweet damn time with this one. on another lonely night in his room, he looks over to his clock to see that the time was 11:11. growing up, he was always told to make a wish at that certain time because there was a likely chance of it coming true. he always closed his eyes and held his hands together and wished for something that only a kid would wish for. “i wish for snow tomorrow so i don’t have to go to school!” “i wish for a big giant popcorn machine!” and so on.

but he’s grown up now. that was probably what hurt the most. he wasn’t able to live in the fantasy of everything going the way i want it to anymore and even though he was already aware of that, woong leaving him felt like another cruel reminder. he thought that life was just getting better, but here he was again at a low point he thought he had moved on from.

he doesn’t close his eyes and hold his hands over his heart, but he does wish something in this thoughts.

i wish that i can get over him. i wish that i can be able to be happy without him.

and though it’s just a myth, he’s still hoping that his wish will come true.

#(( this is 2k oop #i got a little inmyfeelings challenge on this one gamers #hope u like it tho!! dk how accurate it is but we can pretend au if there's a lil thing ))#woongxrk

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rkmason · 5 years

Photo

▰▰▰▰▰▰ MNET GLOBAL AUDITIONS, SEASON 5 ˟ EP. 5 PERFORMANCE ▰▰▰▰▰▰

is it his number that makes them the first up for the week? he wonders but doesn’t want the answer. that’s how he’s always been— afraid to know the answers. because when you ask a question, when you ask certain questions, there’s an answer in mind. one you have for yourself, one you make or take for yourself with each thought, each move, each breath. for so long, minho thought making his own answers was as easy as what his grandfather and mother taught him: be you. b.yu. that’s all he needs. but he thinks he’s undeserving of the name honoring his maternal grandfather this week— that’s his problem, one he doesn’t have an answer for even as they’re on the way to the studio.

his problem: he convinces himself he doesn’t deserve anything

too good at pretending that nothing bothers him, nothing stays on his mind, that he’s anidiot so it must slip off effortlessly right? ignorance is bliss. he thinks this again, but it’s a lie. a sugarcoated lie that can’t be an answer to anything no matter how hard he tries.

fist clenched as he thinks of what his sister had to say this time, his jaw feels tense, and he has to will himself to stop, has to will himself to exhale. breathe, minho, just breathe. he didn’t think he’d have to tell himself this the longer the show goes on, the closer they are to the final. the truth is, he didn’t think they’d let him get this far and maybe, just maybe, his sister is right. he’s spent all week going back and forth about it, trying to sort out this and figure out that when he misses the days he didn’t worry about any of it.

it’s supposed to be simple. be you. just dance.

but now it’s a string of rules that don’t make sense, results that continue to shake him to the core and he wonders when everything will feel like they make sense again.

●●●●●● LAST WEEK, ON THE FOURTH EPISODE OF MGA S5 — 7월 18일 ●●●●●●

he’d been right, about the greed that was starting to grip his heart.

he’d been right and, damn, well that wasn’t the answer he wanted either. i didn’t even ask, he mentally gripes, because it’s a meme and a genuine complaint all in one. when his name is called, when seunghun’s name is called especially, he feels relieved, excited, too hopeful.

when the winner of the week isn’t them, that greed is flowing through his veins; it’s too late. he feels disappointment settle more heavily than he thought it would. top 3 is good too. more than good. it’s amazing and normally he’d be happy with it, but he can’t deny that people expected him to win, whether they believe in his past or in his experience or his talent. whether they think it’s just his name or because of his performance, because of his performance with seunghun, because they both did beautifully in his eyes— he knows what’s said, what’s expected, and he feels bad all over again that he could be dragging seunghun down.

what if he could’ve gotten top 3 with someone else and won? what if he blamed himself just because of minho? what if people spoke poorly of him because of minho? the competitions he was used to as kid and a teen weren’t like this. you’re a team but you still performance individually at least half the time. you mess up your routine? that’s on you. but this is… ah, he should be used to it by now right? being a trainee and debuting… but it’s not the same. a reality competition show isn’t the same. at that age, he doesn’t remember being as mentally strong as they were. as nakyung. as seunghun. he doesn’t remember being so strongly ambitious, with a specific goal in mind. he had the outline, the generic basics down, but… now, now, when he’s directly paired with someone else and didn’t win, now is when he feels like he took someone else’s opportunity away.

when they’re moving off stage, minho keeps apologizing to seunghun and he has to pretend that the studio is “dry as hell,” using a lame excuse of using eye drops for why his eyes seem the way they do. how does he go back now? how does he rest knowing they came so close and fell short and he could’ve done more? couldn’t he have?

this line of thinking isn’t like him and he feels almost nauseous. there’s some ill foreboding feeling looming over him, goosebumps lining his arms, and he feels haunted. haunted in how his eyelids suddenly feel heavy, how his hands don’t feel like they belong to him the more he waits for the filming to conclude. he barely concentrates during eliminations, only knows a moment of oh hey when it turns out jinyoung and jackson did come back like he was thinking and hoping for. finding out they’re going to be put in trios is surprising to him. he can’t recall right then and there if they’ve done it before but— the next detail they’ve given answers that feeling he was trying to shake off.

SPHERE ENTERTAINMENT, TRIOS 1 AND 2

no, it can’t be.

he’s reading it wrong, isn’t he?

because why not? he’s suddenly jared, 19, and never fucking learned how to read.

it’s gotta be wrong. send him back to first grade or whatever grade you’re supposed to start reading. is it earlier than that? dammit, why doesn’t he know this or remember? maybe jared is his alter ego.

but he’s happy about his team, he really is. because he’s liked jeon heejin since he heard her sing and kyul is a born dancer. he can’t imagine them not making it all the way on the show and no that’s not why he likes them, not why he likes being teamed up with them. if we’re being totally honest, he has no idea how the three of them will work out as a trio when they’re more evenly split as a rapper, a dancer, and a singer. how do they highlight each skill they have without sacrificing another?

it feels like a classic movie moment when they all meet up and he wouldn’t have it any other way the more he gets to know them over dinner, how they’re all eager to work their plan out, all too eager to give up their own main skill to focus on another for the sake of the group, andthat makes him feel better about this being a competition: that you can still feel like friends despite it all.

they could’ve just focused on one, maybe two skills, considering giving priority to one and hope the rest will work out on stage, any stage they do could be carried by heejin’s vocals, by kyul’s dancing, he knows this, but the fact they they’ll get to work with both in such a fun way… he didn’t think he’d calm down and let go of the feelings from earlier. having heejin and kyul around make it easy.

being alone makes it difficult. being alone lets him think too much again, and again, andagain. being alone means he thinks of everything that’s happened for the past few months and his mind is too restless for his body to handle. leg shaking, fingertips tapping, hair ruffled, tossing and turning in bed when he finally gives up on going through the technicalities of what they’re planning to do, the layout of the stage, the audio, everything and anything but it’s not distracting enough. his mind drifts and wanders only to come back to the same destructive thoughts as if he’s permanently tethered to them.

sleep doesn’t come to him at all.

instead, he’s up way too early, his morning run completed before dabin’s able to call him and ask about joining. he’s confused and laughing, along with jaeseop when they stand outside minho’s room waiting for him to come out of the shower.

“so you’re saying… you already did your normal run and took a shower?”

he can’t see a damn thing but jaeseop is mouthing to dabin that there’s no way minho slept last night. even if they said it to his face, he couldn’t be mad. when he comes out dressed to head to sphere, he’s still distracted, confused. distraught is the one descriptive he misses but it’s damn close to being the most accurate when you add everything up.

seik’s called over before he can say anything to stop them from this parade just so he can head over to the designated company practice room and he’s sighing when seik comes, his first words being “what’s wrong with him?” face scrunched up, he sighs as he leans back in the ottoman, chin resting in the palm of his hand as he leans on the chair’s arm. “why does anything have to be wrong with me?”

the last thing he wanted to hear was a chorus between the three of them of “you’re going to sphere.” there’s a lot he can think of now but all he hears is white noise, static, a light ringing in his ear and it’s probably the lack of sleep, right?

funnily enough, he originally planned on taking his bike or taking public transportation, orhell walking/running to sphere because it was still so damn early. he can’t figure out if it’s the change in plans on the sleep deprivation in this case too when he starts feeling a little carsick. who the hell let jaeseop take the wheel instead of seik? instead, the 2nd oldest of them all is sitting in the backseat with minho and he reaches out to punch minho’s shoulder.

“what?”

“hey, gimme something more than that. we’re not expecting you to, you know…”

it’s weird for seik not to be the most direct one in the vicinity. even with strangers, seik can be a little too honest so he stares at his friend for a while, feels bad that all three of them are there because they’re worried about him.

“i’m good. really. it was bound to happen, right? why would mnet miss an opportunity to set this up?” he does gotta give them that. the only thing that could make it worse is if they add in coaches and he runs into familiar faces more directly than he might today. his plans when it comes to that is to use his prior knowledge of the building to his advantage but… how far can that get him in the long run? it’s not like he wants to avoid anyone… ah, scratch that. he literally admitted it in one of his previous performances— the performance that got him his first win this season and set the stage for the pressure that’s currently on his shoulders.

he is avoiding them so he’s thinking of the best route to take and see the least amount of trainees and staff possible— “did you write a letter this time?”

“huh?”

“don’t you do it every time?” dabin asks from the front passenger seat. “when you t—” seik makes a sound of disapproval that he passes off as a loud grunt and jaeseop’s punching his leg even though he should keep his hand on the gear shift or the steering wheel at least.

dabin does have a point and minho chuckles, leans an arm against the window as he looks out. they’re close now. no going back now. ironically, that’s what he thought when he left the last time too. he thought that was it, that he wasn’t gonna walk through those doors again. whether it’s punishment or to encourage him, he hasn’t decided yet, hasn’t determined it, hasn’t found the answer.

there’s no letter this time. it feels too early, too soon, in the show, and in general. he doesn’t know the outcome yet, what could he say? what would he say? the truth is, he isn’t sure she read either letter from the last two times anyway but he doesn’t mention it at all when the car is parked and they look to him expectantly.

“uh… alright, thanks for the ride. i’m going.”

dabin’s whining is overshadowed by the grip seik has on his arm before he opens the door. “you know what to do.” it’s too open-ended to any outsider but minho smiles because he gets it, because friends like this, friends he’s had for years and know him well enough that five words is enough to settle him down enough to walk inside, are the only ones he should’ve let know about his relationship. he knows better now. he can walk in with that knowledge confidently, even if it’s the only thing he’s confident about when he does.

when he reaches the sidewalk on the same side of the street as sphere, jaeseop presses the horn, yelling out the window, “check your backpack later when you get a moment!”

… shit, he didn’t realize until now that jaeseop was all over his backpack earlier. god, he hopes it’s family friendly. heejin’s only a year older than nakyung after all and kyul’s a few years older than them. forget the camera, he’s more concerned about what they’ll think.

[oh boy, does he throw that notion out the window real quick]

his mood is more stable when he’s inside. oddly enough, being in a sphere practice roomdoes make him want to practice hard. he’d do it anyway but there’s something about the familiarity that hits him and hits him hard. memories come and go with each stretch and small exercise he goes through while waiting.

why he was he there so early? he feels like he’s been waiting for hours [of course it’s not but a restless mind exaggerates more than ever]

running around the room, push-ups, pull-ups, you name it, he’s tried it to pass the time. at some point, he’s just laid flat out, arms tucked in, rolling across the floor in the hopes it’ll also inspire him to think of more to offer for their routine. it doesn’t end up working but hey five more minutes gone just like that!

his phone rings and he runs into a slide at the last moment, hand digging into his jacket pocket as he’s sprawled across the floor again. “damn,” a glance at the camera in the corner. “can i say that?”

he sends jaeseop’s call to voicemail like nothing, disappointed it wasn’t one of his teammates saying they’re on the way but his phone goes off again and it’s still jae.

“come on, man— what? my back— oh.” he forgot already. looking over at his backpack, he swallows thickly. it can’t be that bad right? and maybe he ought’a open it now while they’re not here.

what he finds is more ridiculous than he could’ve guessed. a fucking clown wig. are they kidding? the icing on the cake has got to be the card with a picture of a clown and a cut-out of his face pasted atop it. of course. of course, and he skims the note for now, rolling his eyes when he sees the mention of a letter to baek jiyoung— no wonder dabin tried bringing it up. to think he thought seik and jae were stopping dabin to protect his feelings.

despite that, he can’t believe this most of all: that he put it on and he’s laughing. one line was clear before he put the card away. “we heard there’s a clown show at sphere.” those punks.

but hey… can’t say they’re wrong either and oh man wouldn’t heejin and kyul at least laugh? it’s funny, right? before he can answer that too, it’s too late when they come in together and he’s biting his inner cheek. shit. when kyul asks how long he’s been sitting there, he has no answer except,

“long enough to put this wig on?”

day by day, sphere is easier to come back to when he thinks of his teammates. even the other trio sharing the practice room makes it fun and between all the food they bring in, kyungsoo’s quiche on his mind days later, to now when somehow the discussion turned to how much he can lift because bro do you even lift—and stupidly he’s lifting kyungsoo, doing squat reps just to prove a point until he ends up doing push-ups on the floor with heejin and kyul sitting on his back.

guess he found his next talent to show off if he’s asked.

his attachment grows day by day too and he’s happier seeing it in their eyes too, in how he and kyul naturally, wordlessly have this agreement to protect heejin and it shows most in the moment they’re practicing the first take with the “vr headset.” it’s custom made but should work ou—

kyul’s yelling for him to go to heejin first by the time he fully comprehends, because heejin is cute with her hair all askew anyway isn’t she, but gotta protect her image. their princess can’t be exposed like this and he’s covering her face, blocking her from the camera with his tall frame as he tries to smooth out her hair. “uh… i’m sorry. sh— shhhhaall we fix this?” minho nervously chuckles to cover up his almost swear. “kyul, you’d be better at this,” he calls behind him but he knows it’s pointless because she’s busy keeping the camera occupied. he forgot goggle hair could be a thing.

●●●●●● ONE STEP CLOSER, JUST BEFORE THE RECORDING — 7월 25일 ●●●●●●

his mind feels rattled and when he listens to kyul and heejin talking before the show, he feels better. calmer. more like he’s not all the labels tied to his name. more than the netizen comments, more than the words of the other contestants, and more than the expectations of anyone outside the three of them. when he sees them, he just wants to enjoy this performance because he’s genuinely fond of them. it’s not that he doesn’t feel as fond of nakyung and seunghun, because he does, but it’s because this time he had to worry more about a group, because the concerns of getting along with one person is doubled when it comes to a trio.

“hey, i know it’s not much but… i have something for you guys,” the boxes are both colors he associates well with them. he has no logic for it but he thinks of heejin as pink, maybe it’s because she also reminds him of sakura, of nakyung, of both girls also in the competition that he feels the need to protect. when it comes to kyul, he thinks of purple although unfortunately the stones on her gift aren’t of the same color. “you know, since you guys are the princess and a huntress… i know the bow and arrow is from a game but hey… she’s also badass right?”

●●●●●● NEXT ON STAGE, MINHO, JIEQIONG, AND HEEJIN, EP. 5 — 7월 25일 ●●●●●●

seeing the stage after being prepped on it and asking questions, wondering if it’ll be exactly as they pictured and work for their performance— it also brings a certain level of calm to him that’s swallowed up by nerves and excitement when they’re called up. he’d looked out and saw the trio that shared the room with him, sakura, nakyung, seunghun— ah, even daniel. it should make him more nervous, they’re all competition, but he thinks about it again and all he wants is to have fun, just like he did before. he wants this to be the best stage they can perform and, most of all, he wants to know their hard work comes together just as perfectly on camera as it did for all the tens, dozens, maybe even a hundred times, that they went through it in practice.

they’re the royal court and he tries not to laugh at his role, truth be told. doesn’t it suit him? no matter what his sister said earlier in the week, no matter if anyone’s laughing at him, he’ll laugh too from now on the way he has been for most of his life— because the one thing he can control is how he reacts to things and right now, all he wants to do is react to the music once it starts up.

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ 뿜뿜 BBOOM BBOOM &&. DNA ♫ MASH-UP IS SELF-PRODUCED BY HEEJIN, JIEQIONG, AND MINHO NOTE: THE GESTURES & EXPRESSIONS IN VIDEO ARE SIMILAR IF NOT WRITTEN !

kyul moves when he does once heejin has the glasses on and he’s moving swiftly, trying to beat her there as he tells her, “no, it’s my song. she chose yours last time!” he slips right into the role of a video game character wanting to be chosen, dancing before kyul can and proudly too.

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ 첫눈에 널 알아보게 됐어 서롤 불러왔던 것처럼 I RECOGNIZED YOU AS SOON AS I SAW YOU AS IF WE’VE CALLED EACH OTHER ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀

coming off as proud is something he barely has to act for because he is. even the lyrics match up perfectly for this mashup and each step, each swing of his arm feels electrified. he’s back to controlling the current and what motivates him most is how heejin controls the melody, the lyrics, how kyul controls the beat. how all of them dance and sing in harmony until the game changes.

▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ 이 모든 건 우연이 아니니까 BECAUSE ALL OF THIS IS NOT COINCIDENCE

우린 완전 달라 BABY WE’RE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT, BABY

운명을 찾아낸 둘이니까 BECAUSE WE’VE FOUND OUR DESTINY ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀

looking at each other, they bring heejin into the game and he reaches to take the controller from her, grinning until she’s stolen away by kyul.

he’s the perfect picture of a sulking kid until he rounds them, sneaking up and coaxing heejin to his side. the two songs blend together more towards the end, the lyrics melting into one, and they dance together, not in unison exactly but as a unit.

the last run of chorus is meant to be more fun, a celebration of heejin joining them in the game and he’s sliding on the glasses, controller waved around in his hand as he sways, looking to heejin in the center with a smile.

he learned a lot from the both of them this week. most of all, without knowing, heejin might’ve been pulled into the game but they pulled him out of the one he was losing inside his head.

이 모든 건 우연이 아니니까 , BECAUSE ALL OF THIS IS NOT COINCIDENCE

PROFILE / SKILLS / AUDITION / EPISODE 3 / EPISODE 4 ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ EP. 5: PERFORMANCE / INTERVIEW

#rkmga5 #rkmga5trios #rkheejin #rkkyul #rknak #rkseunghun #rksakura #rkkyungsoo #yewonxrk #rksuwoong #danielxrk #altho some are rly short mentions #i'm probably missing some but wHA'TS NEW BC I DO THIS EVERY WEEK AND PANIC

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addicted2electronics · 5 years

Text

A Tour

Today, I’ve experienced a lot of sadness.

I was woken up by my younger sister, telling me it was 6:40 or something among the lines..

Then my brother was yelling at her, once our mother came in the room he said that she was yelling at us for 30 minutes. I didn’t want to get up, and I didn’t say anything.

I’m the oldest, by the way.

Then once I got up, I was given 6 bucks so that I could get food. Then we got in the car.

It was raining. I didn’t have my phone with me because I left it somewhere else.

We made it to my school and I was late. I had to go in to get a tardy slip, and the electronic dispenser wasn’t working, so I got a little extra late while waiting for that.

Then I got to my class, Algebra 1 B. The back seats were taken, and that’s where I usually sit to avoid the laughter and the grins that feel like are directed at me, but I’m really not sure.

I had a quiz. Tried napping, but didn’t. I finished it and I feel like I got the content down pretty well, I’m sure I got a high grade. Most of the time, though, I could just feel the grin of the two boys next to me, and they were just pounding down on my patience.

Class ended, as it should. I walked with my shoulders and head up. At least, it felt like my shoulders and head were up. I walked up the stairs to double check whether or not my Wellness class was in the gym, and turns out, it was. So I walked back downstairs.

While walking downstairs, there was this kid with black hair and mixed skin. He does some stuff that I would never do myself, but I just tell him not to get caught. He was a little aggressive at the beginning of the year, but I made friends with him, telling him that I wasn’t his enemy. Now he has my back.

At least, it seems like that. I’m glad I made friends with him.

I walk down to the gym and everything goes on, we sit down, and this girl next to me just doesn’t stop talking.

I go to complain to one of my “friends,” but the upfront person he is, he just tells me that he straight-up doesn’t care. I’m a little bitter, now, I try and go to talk to a girl that I wanna be friends with, but she says she’s occupied.

I go to do sit-ups, and my friend accidentally hits me in the face. He comes over and laughs, asking if I’m okay. I just say “I got hit in the head.” He head off and hit me by accident on the back a third time.

Today isn’t going well.

I’m becoming self-aware. Is it because of the way I look? Do I smell bad? I haven’t taken a shower in a couple of days, I must stink. I don’t want anyone else to smell it, so it was a bit of dilemma for me. After a couple of attempts to socialize, I eventually give up and sit up against a wall, secluded off to the side. Some guy that I clapped in smash brothers comes over and he’s like “are you okay?” Something along the lines. I say that I’m fine.

“Do you want me to leave you alone?”

“Yes.”

The bell is close to ringing. I get up and grab my stuff, and it’s really going downhill for me. I don’t have my phone to complain to my friends.

I start to identify why I’m upset. The people that I want to talk to aren’t talking to me, and I’m growing lonely and depressed because of it.

I get to English. I sit down and just start looking at dog memes after being told to rest for a moment by the teacher.

The Lunch bell rings. I sigh, close my laptop, grab my Lunch money, and tell my teacher I’m not feeling the best. She tells me that she cares, but she has to talk about it later.

I get out of class, and so does the teacher. I slip in my reasoning for my emotions while I walk. Then I go back downstairs, to the first floor.

Maybe it’s because I look too intimidating. I didn’t feel like smiling, so I just raised my eyebrows.

I then get to the lunchroom. I grab my food and pay for it, and my best friend is at the front of the line. I walk up to him, and I say “The one person that can make me smile today.” Of course, I was genuinely smiling, and he did so as well. I went to sit down with him and we started talking, I started complaining..

Lunch ended pretty soon. Because Lunch started in the middle of English. I start reading through the book that was assigned to me, “The Hate U Give.” I hate a lot of the people in this book, especially this racist girl Hailey. I’m scowling in class, wanting to go the the bathroom and punch something.

I go to the bathroom. I don’t punch anything, but I swear to myself a couple of times. I go back to class and it ends a little bit afterwards. Now, alongside of having to do my Math notes, I also have to finish a chapter for the book I’m reading in class..

I walk to Creative writing. This was a lot longer than I may be painting it, but I dunno, I just want to get it out. I see one guy that I’m interested in, and maybe he detects that I’m upset, I dunno. I tell him that it’s an off day, he asks why, I tell him it’s because nobody was talking to me. He points out that I was talking to someone while coming to class, but that was an exception from the whole day. I sit down with them, though it isn’t my assigned table. I’m told to move back. I’m starting to feel terrible. I write down my emotions disguised as written work. Nobody hears them. I begin to think.. my book is due on Friday, the second book for the whole semester but the one for this class.. I haven’t even started on it. I begin to stress out as the teacher puts up the main assignment for the day, shedding a coupe of tears silently. I make my eyes only visible to the teacher, but she doesn’t acknowledge them at all.

I pass out.

A couple of minutes later, it’s time for us to go, and I begin waking up. I stand near the teacher, also where the guy and this other girl I’m friends with are standing. The girl just walks off without acknowledging me and so does the guy. I’m just standing there as I tell myself it’s an off day. I’m in that odd state of mind that you get when you wake up and you’re just neutral for a good 3 minutes.

The 3 minutes expire. I start getting upset. I see my middle school friend and my ex talking. Neither of them seem to care much about me at the moment. I turn and apologize to the teacher for passing out in class, she says that I didn’t pass out in class. I tell her sorry for slacking on the work. She tells me she’ll help my table out.

I walk out of class, slow as all living hell. I’m in no rush.

I walk in on the bus. My ex, who I’m still friends with, is sitting on the bus. I try to sit next to her like I do some days, but she tells me that she’s saving the seat.

I walk towards the back, there’s this kid that looks like he’s in 6th or early 7th grade, super skinny. He’s like “you ain’t sitting here.”

I sit on his legs. He kicks me off. He starts yelling, calling me a little hoe, saying that he doesn’t have room to move as I sit back on the seat. I move my legs to let him move. I tell him that he’s doing this to himself.

He starts trying to talk to me about my ex, and he doesn’t know I broke up with her. I didn’t tell him anything. Somebody in front of him says something and he’s like “I’m trying to ask flip-phone about his girlfriend.” I had thoughts of hitting this kid, but I didn’t. I turned to him and said “I don’t wanna talk to 45-degree-angle-nose.” A bit of a mouthful, but it gets the point across.

I endure a bus ride. My stop comes up. The kid’s like “bye!”

I said “I’m sorry for sitting on your leg. Have a nice day.”

I think I surprised him. “It’s okay. You’re alright.” He mutters after a moment.

I get off the bus and just stand on the sidewalk until the bus drives off, until this couple walks off, until I feel alone and spaced out enough.

My eyebrows furrow and my mouth perks down.

My mom asks me how I am, I tell her I’m not doing very well. I don’t get into it very far.

Then I type my story about today online, hoping I get some positive, wanted attention and maybe some sympathy.

I know for a fact that I can be very petty and pathetic.

#vent post #diary #personal #depression #anger

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rpbetter · 3 years

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Raven used to be my friend but I had to cut ties recently due to feeling like walking on eggshells everytime we spoke and they never apologized to me for when I brought up something that they did upset me. I really miss them but I don't want to deal with the if it's not about me I don't care attitude.

Pt 2 of Ravens old friend. They reblogged anti fandom posts on their resource blog and I happened to be in that fandom and it hurt. A resource blog shouldn't be doing that.

Hey, Anon! I wanted to post this before I released one of my drafts, as that draft happens to be something I do not want you to misconstrue being about you. Thought about it after the fact and honestly, felt a bit ill over potentially making you think any such thing! The post is about how pushy people can be about what they like (usually as regards fandom) that you don't, and how that can be a contributing factor toward people saying hateful things about fandom topics. It was the quickest of the finished drafts sitting around to edit, so it was being queued, that's all! I do not think you were being pushy about your likes to "deserve" this, and frankly, even if you had? One's meme/resource/help blog is not the venue for shitting on your friends.

Okay, just wanted to clarify, everyone is stressed and feeling judged enough, I don't want to inadvertently contribute to that with any drafted posts!

I'm really sorry this happened, Anon. I don't mean that in a passing, flippant way that looks good on my blog. Not that I mean anything that way lol but I frequently have had "friends" in the past who felt like it was totally fine to reblog, even make original posts, like what you're talking about. Anti-fandom, anti my part of the fandom, my muses, my takes, and so on. Really hurtful things when we'd spoken in DMs about how upsetting it was, then they go and throw full support behind it in front of me.

It would be irritating with a grain of betrayal if it was a friend of a shorter time, or a mutual one doesn't really interact with OOC, but with a closer or longtime friend, it's actively hurtful. It feels like they looked you right in the face, said they do not give a single shit about either what is important to you or sparing your feelings, and went on. Yeah, it's just fiction, but the way we treat each other over fiction is real.

Given the behaviors displayed openly, it's not a shock you received no apology. Whether you got an apology or not, though, good on you for trying to bring it up to them! It's hard to do that with friends, even ones you're more certain won't blow up at you for it. I think if we could all be a little more (calmly, nicely, reasonably) open with each other like this, we could avoid problems that result from things festering and piling up, but it's hard to take that step...and I'm sorry this was your reward for it.

Just as blogs that are not one's RP or personal blogs shouldn't be openly judging and hating fandoms like that, friends shouldn't leave you feeling like you're walking on eggshells.

And, I'm going to say something unpopular here - sometimes, we all are capable of doing that to people we care about. Bad moments in lives combine, there are misunderstandings, sensitive topics, and things we can't entirely control otherwise. I don't like this idea tumblr has that anything other than a perfect, sweet, forever-cheery relationship is the actual height of abuse, so I want to be clear on that because it's just trivializing and blinding people to the possibility of toxic and abusive interactions. When you think "toxic" means "they don't like x, I love x, we don't talk about it," you're not aware of legitimate signs like being too worried to be yourself around them.

It's when this is the typical, established behavior that it's a problem. It's when there's never any meaningful acknowledgment, apology, or attempt at changing that it's a problem. If you constantly feel like you have to be worried about what a friend is going to say or do, it's not a friendship you need to be in, and I'm glad you recognized that and got out of it!

But there's also the idea that this is easy because it's the right and logical choice. It is not, and it's often made even harder because admitting to other friends that you miss the good times with the former one is all but impossible. They're often only reacting out of concern for you, the fear that if you miss this person they watched hurt you, you'll go back to that friendship, but it effectively shuts down a more healthy way of dealing with your feelings by sharing them with better friends who could support you.

So, Anon, it's also fully alright and normal to miss Raven! They were a longtime friend, and the thing about these kinds of friendships, these kinds of relationships in general, is that we seem to fail to realize that if things were straight awful from day one, we'd not have been friends. Of course, there are memories! Of course, you have the impulse to send them a link or that meme you know is their humor! It doesn't stop for a long time, either. That doesn't mean you're fucked up for it, it's something to be ashamed of, or that you're going to drop your better judgment and go send Raven a message immediately and rekindle that friendship. It's okay!

This right here: "I don't want to deal with the if it's not about me I don't care attitude." This is the place you should be in, and I congratulate you on being there because it takes a lot of shit heaped on someone by a friend to get there. Just keep remembering the good things you experienced with them, but always with this in mind, that their end of the friendship appears to have been predicated upon what they were getting out of it only.

Case in point, like everything they displayed to the whole damn RPC that encountered them these last few months, their personal interest and viewpoint was of greater importance to them with that anti-fandom post than a friend was.

I will say, it can be a delicate thing having this blog. I have opinions and takes that most of my friends share, what's important to me tends to run in the same lines as what is important to them, that's the basis of a lot of our friendship. We still disagree! We still have different interests, fandoms, favorite characters, songs, and experiences. Sometimes, I have to address a problem that they could misconstrue, in a totally normal and reasonable way, because while they're not doing whatever in a bad way, others are. I've made a point, more than once, to contact them and talk about it a little preemptively, and that's not just to keep up friendships, it also allows for extra insight from them and better phrasing from me so that other people I don't know won't take it the wrong way either.

Yes, I have some immutable, incredibly hard lines lol I think we all know what most of them are now, but expressing my purely personal opinion on something like fandom is not more important on this blog than anything else. I may genuinely feel like there is diseased connective tissue of disappointing behavior stemming from an origin point in a popular fandom, I'm not going to go off about it on this blog. It's inappropriate as hell, going to make people feel isolated and targeted whether they're my friends or not. Being passionately displeased about that does not have place here, and that's the kind of thing you have to consider, reconsider, force yourself to shut up about when you've got a blog that isn't for RP or a personal, you know?

I don't think everyone is cut out for doing that, and no one is cut out for doing it without ever making a mistake in judgment. Some people really should simply realize that there is nothing wrong with not being in the place in their lives or mental health to put that much effort into being fair or being quiet and concentrating only on memes. If you're one of those people, random reader? I'm serious, it's okay if you can't do it! It's not shameful, I'm also a deeply flawed human being, the quietest, politest, helpful meme blog out there is also run by a flawed human, they're just at a different place with themselves than you are. And. That's. Okay. Just don't hurt other people (and yourself, ultimately) by forcing it, please.

I suppose, knowing that it wasn't important enough to chill and reevaluate for the sake of a friend is some consolation lol what one won't do for friends definitely won't be done for random muns deemed problematic. So, maybe that'll make some other people out there feel a little better, and I thank you for sharing...as much as I wish you had nothing of this experience to share. I know it's an unpleasant one to have had, and I hope you have much better friends!

I promise you that I'll never post anything here that is viciously against any particular fandom or any such thing, and that if you feel like I've been unfair about anything at all, I welcome polite messages as a way of discussing it so we can all be clear and/or learn from each other. I know, I openly admit, it's kind of a draw of the blog, that I have a...um, tone of salt about things lol and sometimes, I don't phrase things the way they deserved. So, it's always okay to drop in for clarification or counterpoint, so long as it isn't being done with a shitty attitude that incites hostilities. Let's do have a legitimate conversation about it instead of hurt feelings!

Thanks again, Anon!

#vespertine #answered #anonymous #fandom #toxic friendships #drama cw

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