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samieree · 3 months

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Dawn of the North || Robb Stark

Robb Stark x OC

-> Chapter XI "The Letter"

Chapter XII "In the sight of the Seven..." [+18]

"And how am I supposed to plan next battles while you're sitting here?" Robb finally spoke up. Some time ago, Amy came to see him for a 'moment', but it didn't look like she would be leaving anytime soon.

"Don't do it now." she shrugged. "Tomorrow is a day too." she said, but then something else took her attention.

And that other thing was the direwolf who was suddenly right next to her and placed his head on her lap. This wasn't the first time Grey Wind had come to her like this and started demanding petting, and she didn't mind.

"You're so adorable..." she said, immediately focusing her attention on the direwolf and petting him. "I knew there were direwolves in the North, but I never had the opportunity to become such friends with one." she smiled broadly when he placed his paw on her lap, clearly enjoying her stroking him. "I only have one friend who also has a direwolf." at this point, Robb turned around in his chair and looked at the girl completely focused on his animal.

"A friend from your kingdom?" she looked up at him, but didn't stop petting the direwolf.

"Let's just say that, but I got along better with her brother. Ryledia is... Difficult to deal with." Amy put it rather delicately. It's true that she knew that if push came to shove, she could count on the brunette, but... She had a difficult character, getting along with her was considered a miracle, and her interests were also controversial, considering that she was a Lady after all. . If she were here... She'd probably challenge Robb and half his army to a duel by now. "And her Aresh didn't seem to like me very much, he growled at me a lot, I don't even know why." she heard Robb laugh first in response.

"But I feel like Grey Wind loves you more than me."

"Maybe I should marry him instead. He won't laugh at me and will always keep me warm with his fur." she joked, right after the direwolf got tired of being petted and decided to leave - but not before he seemed to give a meaningful look to his owner, which made Amy laugh this time. "Was it 'hurt her and I'll hurt you'?"

"I hope not." he replied, standing up and walking towards her, and there was silence for a moment. "But even if, I will never hurt you anyway." saying this, he took her hand and kissed the back of it. Even though he was smiling at her, she could clearly see that something was bothering him. "Especially when we get married." he let go of her hand and started walking around the tent.

So that was bothering him...

The fact that he doesn't show her feelings in public and that she insists that she won't marry him when he's still promised to someone else.

Well, at least she already knew what was bothering him.

"You'll see, he'll probably send you a raven with a letter today, canceling your pack of marriage with one of his daughters. Because he didn't send me away with nothing." Amy finally said, breaking the silence that had settled between them in the tent again. She sat there and, uncharacteristically, continued embroidering something (something she had started doing before Grey Wind forced her to pet him). "Frey is largely a coward who is interested in keeping his ass warm and possibly collecting titles for his children." she said without beating around the bush. "I think he has succumbed to my gift for diplomacy." she smiled slightly and looked up from her work at Robb, who was still walking around the tent because of her.

"It will be more interesting when he hears that you married me." she rolled her eyes. She probably would, but she didn't think about it at the time. She didn't care and probably didn't even think that she would have anything to do with Lord Frey in the future.

Mistake.

"I can say that my father forced me right after Frey released you from the obligation to marry. An innocent lie." she shrugged. "What can he give you other than the bridge? Because so far I have seen a whole army of poor children and another very young wife of his. I think even younger than me." he laughed at these words.

"Well, he has several thousand troops in his stronghold..."

"I have more..." she muttered, going back to embroidering. "And I'm a princess. I probably couldn't have been kidnapped from a better family." Robb smiled and shook his head. Sometimes it was hard for him to tell whether she was serious or joking. "Okay, unless you happen to like older people, in which case you could go for Cersei Lannister under the pretense of peace through marriage." at this point he couldn't help but laugh.

"No, by the Gods, there's no way, no!" they were laughing together when a man entered the tent.

"Your Grace." he turned to Robb and inclined his head towards him. "A raven from the Twins has come." Robb quickly took the rolled paper from him and sent the man away, saying something quickly and rather indistinctly.

He unfolded the letter and began to read while Amy watched him carefully.

"Put it down." he finally said unexpectedly, referring to what she was embroidering and the needle and thread, but he didn't even look at her. The slightly confused girl got up, put it all on the table and then looked at him incomprehensibly.

After a moment of silence, Robb ran up to her, hugged her, and started spinning around with her, smiling and kissing her.

"I pay all tribute to your 'gift of diplomacy', you are a miracle worker." he put her down and cupped her face and kissed her again. "He doesn't want me, what a relief..." she laughed, wrapping her arms around his neck and tilting her head back a little. "Don't laugh, now we can get married freely. Even tomorrow..."

"You're so impatient..." she dragged out the word 'so' a bit, and pretended that her legs were going weak under her so that he would take her in his arms, which worked. "Come on, wolf, run to your mother and say it over her ear." he rolled his eyes and walked with her to the bed, where he laid her down.

"First, I'll enjoy you some more, it's news for us, first of all." he smiled and started kissing her neck, undoing the buttons of her dress, which he finally took off, getting rid of his clothes in the process.

* * *

"Are you sure you want to do this?" his mother asked him the next day when he went to talk to her during the day. "Walder Frey..."

"He can't hold any grudge against me." he interrupted her, sitting down in a chair. "He broke the contract." he shrug.

In fact, he didn't quite know why he came to talk to her at all. Was he looking for some approval? That his mother would finally accept his decision?

"And if he did this, he must be planning something else."

"I don't care about it right now." he said truthfully. "I have no influence on it anyway."

Catelyn just sighed. How else is she supposed to explain this...?

"Marriage isn't a five-minute thing, so I just ask: Are you sure?"

"I love her." he stated immediately, although his mother was still not convinced. She was afraid of what would happen after some time, when they would finally stop getting along, the first arguments would appear and what then? Will they still love each other like this?

She was afraid of this because - among other things - she would have to look at it and probably try to alleviate these conflicts. It wasn't even about the fact that she and Amy had a hard time getting along, but about how little they knew each other. She knew practically nothing about this girl, she didn't know what she might be planning and what the consequences would be. But her son didn't seem to notice any of these.

"Do whatever you want, you'll do it anyway." she sighed, spreading her arms. "You always eventually do that."

* * *

In the evening, as said earlier, the wedding took place. Guess Robb just didn't want to wait for Frey's possible change of heart and take advantage of the moment of peace they had while in camp.

They chose to be alone with the Septon during this important moment for them. With only four torches providing light nearby and the sky illuminated by the moon, they stood side by side in front of the Weirwood, listening to the Septon's words.

Robb took off his cloak and stepped closer to Amy, then gently placed it over her shoulders and pinned it at the front as a sign that as a husband he took her under his protection and would keep her safe. He then took her hand gently, and then they intertwined their fingers, and the Septon tied a ribbon around their hands, saying the formula to the Seven Gods, and then these words:

"In the sight of the Seven, I hereby seal these two souls, binding them as one for eternity. Look upon one another and say the words." they turned to face each other, looking straight into each other's eyes.

She felt like her heart was about to burst out of her chest. This was finally happening in her life, she was getting married and not to someone her father had put under her nose... She was doing it not out of obligation but out of feeling, she was truly happy standing next to him, not unhappy that her 'freedom' ends.

It's true that she was a bit afraid of what her parents would say, because they would undoubtedly find out about it someday, but... She didn't care at the moment.

But what about him? There were no worries on his mind at the moment. He was happy that what he had been thinking about for so long was finally becoming true and the woman he loved would become his wife. His only regret was that his father couldn't see this moment...

"Father, Smith, Warrior, Mother, Maiden, Crone, Stranger. I am his/hers and he/she is mine. From this day until the end of my days." after saying these words at the same time, Robb cupped her cheek and kissed her. Long, tenderly, with joy and love.

Immediately after the kiss, he pressed their foreheads together, looking into her eyes and lightly stroking her cheek with his thumb.

It happened.

They are married.

But now... There's still the wedding night left.

* * *

"So... We're alone at last, my beautiful wife." he said, stroking her hair with his hand.

"Finally... But not quite according to tradition." she joked.

"Nothing is lost, I can call some Lords if you want." since she started this topic... Who would he be if he didn't take it further?

"No, that's not necessary." she laughed nervously, shaking her head quickly. She walked up to Robb and clinging to his body wrapped her arms around his neck, feeling his hands resting on her waist.

"And very well." he stated, bowing his head a little to press their foreheads together. "Only I can see you like this."

"How?" she asked innocently, slightly parting her lips.

In response, she felt a hand wandering along her back to the beginning of her corset. Then a gentle tug on the ribbon and a hot kiss, while the other hand started untying the corset. Taking its time, the material slowly became looser, and after some time it began to separate from the body here and there.

As for Robb's clothes, it looked a bit different... The untied shirt was not treated so gently, but quickly landed somewhere on the floor. Amy's dress, however, was removed very delicately, as if it was hiding an even more delicate treasure or something that could easily be frightened.

This is how he treated her body as soon as the dress fell to the ground. By lightly running his hands over her skin, he made her shiver and make her even more impatient. It was hard for him to just linger when he wanted to kiss every part of this beautiful, naked woman standing before him.

No, an extraordinary woman. His wife, his beloved. The person for whom he would throw the world at her feet if she asked him to. A person whom no one can take away from him and from whom he would prefer not to be separated until his death.

He roughly pulled her closer to him, kissing her harder than before, running his tongue around the inside of her mouth. Holding her by the neck, he moved back a few steps and finally leaned onto the bed, where they landed right next to each other. He immediately felt her hands move to the fastening of his pants and he involuntarily tensed up a bit.

"Are you impatient?"

"And who says this?" she answered with a question, throwing her bent leg over his hips and rubbing her crotch against his already noticeable member. "You are the hot-headed one." she rolled over, sitting astride him, with a slightly victorious smile. Looking him in the eye the whole time, she ran her fingertips down his chest, stopping at the fastening of his pants, which she undid with one tug on the string.

Just as she was about to pull his pants down, he immediately sat up and surprised her by flipping her onto her back. Taking advantage of this situation for a moment, he rubbed his nose against her breast, which he then began to tease with his mouth, while massaging her clitoris with his free hand.

"Please stop playing with me like that..." she finally muttered, feeling it was getting harder to breathe.

He stopped for a moment, his breath caressed the skin of her breasts and neck, and then he rose from the bed to take off his pants.

"I didn't quite expect this..." she added, rising to a sitting position.

She expected to get some specific answer, but all she heard was some muttering under his breath. However, she did not expect at all that he would pull her legs towards him and then immediately find himself between them. She rose back to a sitting position when she felt him fill her and, holding her by the hips, pressed her against him.

She couldn't say anything anymore, although she wanted to make a humorous comment, the pleasure filling her thoughts didn't allow her to do so. Closing her eyes, she rested her forehead against his.

The moment they kissed again and Amy put her hands in his hair, he started moving inside her. Slowly at first, enjoying every moan that went straight from her mouth to his. He was happy with the state he was reducing her to and that no one would take that away from him. Nor was he afraid that someone would suddenly come in and catch them doing something they shouldn't be doing, because now... Since the beggining of marriage, after all, everyone will expect children, and everybody knows how they're made. Over time, the movements became faster and faster. Taking advantage of the opportunity that Amy tilted her head slightly, he again started leaving reddish marks on her neck and cleavage, feeling his hair being pulled quite strongly. Finally, he turned her onto her back so that he could enter her even more confidently and forcefully, causing her to moan more and more.

Finally he felt the girl started to shiver in his arms and then he accelerated even more, intensifying her sensations. He came soon after, spilling himself inside her.

He took a few breaths with his head resting on her shoulder before laying down next to her.

"But it was better than what I expected." she said between deep breaths and placed her head on his chest, closing her eyes and listening to the not entirely calm heartbeat... Robb laughed briefly at these words and put his arm around her, kissing her somewhere between her hair.

"But I'm not done with you yet." he stated, moving his hand to her stomach. "Because you're not afraid of pregnancy anymore, are you?" she rolled her eyes at this clear reference to their first night together.

"I never said I didn't want children. I want to, but you'll have to wait a few months for your little princess or prince."

"It'll go by quickly, I don't count the time when I'm with you."

"Oh, now you're teasing me!" she laughed, rolling onto her back. "From what I've noticed, you're not the patient type."

"It depends on the matter." he leaned on his elbow and began to look at her, playing with strands of her hair. "I can wait for you. For the child as well. But when some Lord is late..." he made a face as if he was truly devastated. "All you have to do is sit down and have a break down."

"Well, that's life." Amy shrugged. "You just don't have the patience." she smiled as she said this. "Your mother has more patience with me than you have with anything."

"Oh no, that insult requires blood spill." he threw himself on her neck, and Amy couldn't stop laughing when everything seemed to foreshadow an imminent repeat of the entertainment...

-> Chapter XIII "Harrenhal" -> general masterlist -> Game of Thrones/House of the Dragon masterlist

#game of thrones #robb stark #robb stark x targaryen #robb stark x oc #robb stark smut #robb stark fanfiction #robb stark game of thrones #gra o tron #wattpad #wattpad writer #ao3 writer #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #smut

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pbandjesse · 2 months

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I am very tired. And today was not just boring. Plus the rain. It was just a long day.

I didn't even sleep great. I fell asleep pretty easy. But woke up at 2 and had a really hard time falling back asleep. So I ended up sleeping later then planned. And went in a little late.

James left before I was up. I got up and it was still raining. I tried to dress comfy today and warm. And I do like this fleece but man did rain cut through it and stick around. Good to know for the future.

I drove to camp and still beat everyone there. I was in a weird mood. I didn't really want my breakfast and I struggled to eat. I would get into sewing my bears. I would work on those throughout the day and would eventually finish all 10 I had gotten ready. And I love how they came out.

I would get more of my lessons done. I just really don't want to write the descriptions. I just am so bored thinking about that. But I would get everything else written out best I can. And that was good. I felt like I was accomplishing stuff.

Eventually everyone else came in. And I would get some other tasks. Like going with Nick, who wasn't told the feildtrips was canceled, up to the art building. Where he helped me move some stuff around that was to heavy for me to do on my own. It was raining and very loud in that building with it's tin roof. But we chatted about tv shows he likes and about how I have actually watched movies this week which is so unusual.

I would mostly spend time at my desk. Celia would come in to feed the animals and she worked on the nature lessons some more. And it was nice to be silly with her. We have great banter. We would all learn more about tomorrow's feildtrip which I think is going to be fun. And I worked on sewing the edges down on my temperature blanket.

Once I finished that and was bored of poking around online, I offered to go clean the girls latrine from it's unwinterization. Sarah hadn't come back after a walk to the barn so I was also just looking for her.

And I did find her. And let her know I was looking for her. She apparently fell in the mud and went to Rachel's house to change. Fair. Glad she has that option.

I would sweep and spray the bathrooms and showers. And it honestly wasn't that dirty. Would be better if we vacuumed out the ceiling I think. But it's much better now.

I got back to the office and after some more lesson plans work Elizabeth said something about setting up the hacienda. And I was bored so I just went and did it myself.

The rain has slowed. And I walked up to the pool house. I had music going and spent a half hour setting everything up. It was hard work to do alone but the 90 chairs were set and I really hope that means I don't have to help out then away tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

As it got closer to 330 I decided I was bored and couldn't take it anymore. I wanted to go to target and go home.

And so that's just what I did. I checked in about tomorrow morning. And Elizabeth asked me to look out for some specific camping stuff at target. And then I was off.

I went to the target in cockeysville. And I didn't bring my headphones inside and it wasnt as enjoyable but it was still a nice stop. I got new body wash and toothpaste and a new Vaseline stick. I got cheese for dinner and kitty litter for my cat. And then went to check out.

Which took forever and the woman in front of me had a fake settlement gift card. And was an older woman, clearly getting scammed. I hope she isn't loosing money to someone.

I took moments to pay and get out of there. Speedy. And then it was time to go home.

It was raining again. So it took a half hour to get home stuff. I got home right before 5.

I struggled to park but quickly I was inside. I was happy to see my James. Even if the house smelled stuffy and weird.

James would get to work making pizza. And we would catch up and chat. And eventually I went to the studio to work on some sewing.

I found a simple pattern to emulate to make a mouse plush. So I cut a whole bunch of those and got them all sewn up over the next hour until dinner.

I would finish some ears after dinner. I wasn't in a rush. But it was really nice to get so much done.

James also made a salad. And we ate in the living room. James played some games. And we chilled.

Eventually James went to play a game with friends and I went back to sewing. And once I was done all I felt like doing, including putting eyes in, I cleaned up. I would also pull out some printing stuff for tomorrow. Realized my mats were still inky so I cleaned those good. And once I was done I went to take a shower.

I was really tired and felt weird but the shower got warm at least and I used my new body wash. Which is vanilla and amber and smells sort of like a man. But it's still nice and made my skin very soft.

And now I am in bed. And James joined me. And I am very really to sleep. I am going to go brush my teeth.

Tomorrow I have a feild trip and I'm looking forward to it. I hope it's a really nice day. I hope you all sleep well and take care of eachother. I love you all. Goodnight!!

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void-inked-pen · 2 years

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What’s your take on the current WB situation right now(that being the constant cancellations of animated content, shutting down studios like Cartoon Network, or erasing stuff from HBO MAX, not even allowing them to be accessible for dvd or Blu Ray)?

Ah, i was wondering if someone would bring this up.

I am... very upset with the animation industry rn.

many companies have been increasing their turnover rates for animated projects, even after we have tried so hard to get more hospitable working environment in the industry. To explain, a turnover rate is how often people are let go from a project. For most animated projects, you're usually only on said project for how ever long your contract lasts (or until the show gets cancelled cause lets be real, shows are getting cancelled left and right regardless of it they are popular or not). Animators are used to jumping from project to project because you only work on a show for somewhere between a handful of months, to a few years and then you start looking for another job.

recently, I've noticed a trend where people will join a project, and then after a few months of working, suddenly they're laying people off, ignoring the contract they signed and just getting people out of the crew. this behavior has escalated and now shows just randomly are getting cancelled because some new guy is in charge and thinks he understands business or how animation works.

This is what's been happening with WBA. Cartoon Network, the kings of original properties, are basically being forced to do reboots. As a huge fan of them for what they have made and done, this is extremely upsetting to me. I've always dreamed of working at Cartoon Network if I ever joined a major studio but every days its looking like studios are just out to punch me in the gut because I just don't agree with anything they are doing anymore.

It doesn't help that EVERYONE is doing reboots rn either. I'm so, SICK OF REBOOTS. Artists have so many cool and fun stories to tell, LET THEM TELL THEIR STORIES FOR FUCKS SAKE!!

I honestly believe, individual/indie company projects are going to be what saves the animation industry rn. major companies have proven they only care about money time and time again and just keep throwing artists to the way side, not caring about how much we care about our craft. Making our own projects ourselves with crew that we pick and are passionate about making stories are gonna be what helps our craft evolve and keep going. The major studios are not going to be what help us move forward anymore.

Rad Sechrist and his friends making their own projects on their own, Vivsiepop and her series online, Lake Fama and their storyboard comic series, all of these incredible creators are telling their stories on their own because they can and because they just don't think any company would greenlight their stuff so they're doing it on their own (Lake I'm not entirely sure but I know their story is a personal project they're doing with their wife and I just wanna shout it out, here's the link to that project if you wanna read~).

The current sphere of animation is why I mainly do freelance and want to get my comic off the ground this year as well as build up to my animation pitch becoming a full pilot. I honestly am just tired of the industry I'm in right now constantly being a mess and I can't see myself working in it while its so turbulent and just.... I'm tired of watching my fellow creators get absolutely shit on daily by men at the top.

Those are my thoughts. Thank you for the ask. if anyone wants to talk with me about animation as well as action... i would love to talk to you~

-Pen

#pen talks #animation discussion #animation #asks #cartoon network #warner discovery

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kebriones · 1 year

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As a Greek i really liked Blood of Zeus. It's not a perfect series of course (they could not have the son of Zeus plot at all and show us only stories from the Gods), but compare to how Hollywood portrays the Gods of Olympus like in Heracles or...Lore Olympus, i must say they have done a decent job.

The directors are also Greek and they said they want to make this series many seasons, hopefully they do and they portray more accurate stories (if Netflix show them some mercy and not cancel it like many of their good shows like damn 😅 χτύπα ξύλο μην το ματιαξουμε)

Well I'm glad for you and that you enjoyed it! I do have to agree that it's better than hercules. And though i enjoyed the beginning of LO for the new and shiny artstyle, I dropped it and I have no idea where the story's gone now but I've caught glimpses of people talking about it and it doesn't look good.

I think I'm just 1) very picky and stern with people using ancient greek mythology because you chose it, you didn't have to but you did so you better do it justice >:( and 2) tired of stories that take greek myth for the cool premises and the cool gods, remove all the themes of honor, fate, hybris etc that encompass the core values of ancient greeek mythology and society and give the myths their lasting charm and influence, and don't fill that gap with anything other than "hero chosen boy goes on generic good vs evil quest and gets a cool weapon" like that's so american I can't stand it. "save the world from a demonic army" really?? If you want to put evil in your ancient greek-inspired story, why not use characters the likes of Sinis, Sciron, or Procrustes and all the rest actually evil, bad-people criminals from greek myths? I just feel like there's a lack of using greek mythology to explore its actual themes and stories from a contemporary POV or using the setting to tell a solid story with good characters instead of using it as a magic trick glue to hold togehter a bad story that nobody would care for if you hadn't shoved pretty bisexual apollo in there. (i'm not sure if it's because creators haven't bothered to actually study and actually read ancient greek mythology and rely on wishy-washy modern retellings from "ancient greek mythology for beginners" books or because they actually just fail to understand the cultural and philosophical background of the myths) On a serious note I dislike blood of zeus because I am haunted by the few frames of dionysus spitting wine on an enemy during a battle.

I will knock on wood for you because everyone deserves more seasons of what they like, but I do not think that a second season by the same creators would be better than the first or explore different stories. I am always open to being proven wrong though an dI do love animation so , so much I would watch a second season only for the pretty images.

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aniketsanimationblog · 9 months

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Last Year, on 8th September, 2022 (At that day, when Queen Elizabeth Passed Away), I was very Eager and Hyped to Watch the Star Trek Day Event LIVE at Post-midnight on technically next day, for Some Glimpse of Star Trek: Prodigy S1 Arc II, after a Great First Arc!!

But Yesterday, that wasn't even called The Star Trek Day after What Paramount and Nickelodeon did to Star Trek: Prodigy on Late July This Year!!

There was a Whole Pre-recorded Celebration Video of Star Trek Day, 2023 uploaded by Paramount+ YouTube channel, and they didn't mention any single thing about Star Trek: Prodigy, not even Once, not even during Star Trek: The Animated Celebration Segment, showcasing Star Trek: The Animated Series and Lower Decks and that's it!! And they released Star Trek: Very Short Treks, 1st Episode on Star Trek YouTube Channel, which was I know it's not even Canon to the Universe, but it was not gone up to my mark!! And they again, advertised TAS and Lower Decks on Paramount+, but didn't mention Prodigy in the end!!

And The Host of the Event, Jerry O'Connell is saying everytime, that "You can watch all of Star Trek, exclusively on Paramount+, the home of Star Trek" and "There's Star Trek for Everyone", feel like lifeless, after Paramount+ unfairly cancelled and Removed Star Trek: Prodigy!! And this is not even a LIVE Event, so who cares??

And there's no update regarding Star Trek: Prodigy's New Streaming Home, though Dan & Kevin Hageman are saying that The Talks are still in Advance and Ongoing!!

So, I ask Paramount and Nickelodeon now:

"Listen to us, Paramount, Nickelodeon, and All those executives working at there, if you cannot stop listening to your Money Mafias, by which I know who those Money Mafias are, and if you cannot listen to our demands, and cancel every single animated series like Star Trek: Prodigy, and even Deserving Series before ST: Prodigy, then People will reject you from Everywhere!! So, can you please stop these blasphemies and start listening to us, the Audience, not just only Kids, because Kids won't tolerate you any longer, they are also tired of your cruel practices, and stopped watching TV and Streaming Platforms Now??"

Now, I am looking forward to either New York Comic Con, if things get any better for Star Trek: Prodigy, or waiting for ST: Lower Decks to end, Or We have to Try the Hard way, by waiting for July 2024, when The Animation Guild goes on Strike!!

This isn't Over Yet!! We will still Fight for Our Right, okay!! We will show those Money Mafias, that without us, they are Nothing!!

But in the meantime, I'm still trying to figure out to create A New Animated Series of mine, alongside establishing my Animation Studio, if we can't get Star Trek: Prodigy back and things in Animation Industry go even worse over days!!

Wish me Luck, and Just be prepared for anything!!

#star trek prodigy #star trek #animation #nickelodeon #animation fans #animation fandom #animated kids show #television #save star trek prodigy #star trek day #it's not over yet

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nerice · 1 year

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ask meme: even numbers >:3

CATCHING UP ON ASK GAMES on this fine 1:18 am >:3

2, if you gave an in depth description of your story to someone who was not all the way paying attention, what would their takeaway be?

the takeaway is that i'd stop talking the second it seems sb is not paying attention lmao but i guess the cliffnotes is [standing in front of conspiracy board] hot evil girls (unkillable) also moons something is up with them moons

4, what would you say is the message, if there is one.

alright finally deigning this with a serious answer. there is no big msg no grand takeaway, just the mess of the struggle & trying to make it thru when life is cruel and unjust and sometimes there's light at the end of the tunnel and other times the despair wins. sometimes the despair is chosen and it's a self-righteous thing and at the end of the day it's about knowing what's best for yourself and the life you want to live, despite (all the despites) and sometimes it is about the catharsis of giving up when it's all too much ;-;

6, speaking of tv adaptations, why would yours get cancelled? (other than capitalism)

ive seen the twinks people wanna cast for holland shadesofmagic i am not letting irl casting be done so this never gets made because animation is too expensive (shoutout to hair, my ocs have a lot of it) w otherwise for all the same reasons down in #18

8, what inspired your world building, if anything?

moon emphasis is definitely a sailor moon worm + a lot of contamination from waverunners [german pirate series] eldritch ocean mare tenebrosum merged with some old recurring fever dream imagery for the invisible moon. also EXTREMELY early kyoani/key shows (air+kanon) for sponsoring how my visual imagination works & the tragedy/wings/dream thematics <3

10, if your story is titled, why did you choose that title?

ok fun anecdote time again in lieu of going thru all 2389 stories individually so. shadow revenge is the book i started out with and always had that title, and when conceptualizing the other two books for the trilogy i wanted to keep a similar naming scheme (starting with s + double noun) so originally they were

schattenrache (shadow revenge)

seelentraum (soul delusion, to grade 8 me, but lit. 'soul dream')

sanduhrmelodie (sandglass melody)

the last one is esp fun bc i was just groping in the dark for a title to fit the scheme & only from there worked out it was abt linn's melody nd all that biz lmao but u can see the influence that later made soul plot big before i switched to 'dream game' for the middle one bc i always LOATHED 'soul delusion' as a title f. (the german one fucks quite well tbh) so much of my finickiness is needing to make things work in 2 languages OTL

12, okay be honest. pick a favorite oc from this ocverse.

there is no competition like, at all. 🐇

14, whats your favorite part of this story/project?

interconnected story hell !!!!!!! i don't think i'll ever write anything else i'll never have a story that does not plug into the larger verse somehow (valiant attempts by my short story profs but vertebrae inventory / touching fire / let sleeping gods die all got folded back into side content ww) nothing gets my brain going like the layers upon layers of history and thrulines and transposing it into different settings or formats. i will never get tired of it. i was put on this earth to do exactly this and i hope i will get to do it for a long time still <(/)3

16, imagine the entire story takes place but in the meantime the characters all also have tumblr. what kind of (terrible) tumblr posts would happen?

answered! but as a bonus i am entirely sure that eliada would get the most mileage out of that setup until he gets doxxed by alissa. send tweet

18, what aspect of the story would get you #canceled on twitter?

glorifying self harm and suicide, teenagers fucking raw onscreen, every #linneacore moment. also cancelling myself over the existence of amasa i deserve it what the fuck

20, your ocverse just got a movie trilogy a la hunger games style. how have they horribly mangled your message/theme so that the movies are now a showcase of what the original was condemning?

OH FOR SURE none of the ugly parts or disk horse worthy content (see above) stay intact, sj is a romance now, gr*y actually dies and probably feels a little bad about what he has done, every suicide gets some noble circumstances attached to it esp faye who gets shafted into the typical time traveling savior role instead of coldhearted pragmatism for her own end. i am mad just thinking abt it thanks <3

22, you have been given unlimited funds to make two adaptations of some sort, however you cannot make any other adaptations of any other sort. which two formats do you choose?

(i am not handing any point of production over to anyone else but i am using the unlimited funds to devote myself to realizing these full-time) comics and animation! i am not interested in anything else

24, best scene you've written?

my writing is no doubt at its best when i'm writing soulless torture / rabbit hell but that is. premium tier locked patreon content; as far as fav scenes go my top three are probably

qs life pledges [THEY WIN !]

the original black swan masked ball piece. changed the course of history & my entire writing career

jumie/sky conversation after [redacted]s death. we cannot elaborate it's too much for my heart, agh!

[lies down both metaphorically and irl] goodnight thanks for playing!!

#LONG POST /#SORRY !#i always think i will put a readmore eventually and then i dont. unless there is a fun place for dramatic effect lol cope #thank u sooooo much for always giving me a lot of numbers to chew on #the real reason this one took me so long was bc i wanted to redraw a certain sketchbook page for 12 but not in this wrist economy :(#askbox #ispybluesky #oc asks #this was so fun i got to talk abt some things i dont usually talk abt :333!!#also lol @ me saying 1:18 am up there it's almost 3am now. whoopsie

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wilhelmina-murray-harker · 1 year

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omfg my poor sim just had the worst 48 hours of her LIFE dear god

to preface: my main sim is named skipper and their whole thing is that they wanna be SO famous (currently a 2/5 star celebrity). this story is sort of about them, but mostly about their girlfriend, grace, who was an npc until about four sim days ago and has been having a hell of a time

also i am formatting this somewhat like a greentext. idk why but oh well

> you are grace! just became sentient, very insecure about your relationship with your partner because it turns out you are a jealous sim

> your partner is a HUGE party animal and just left their own birthday party to go on some random tv show (the motive trials) and did not tell you anything (in their defense they also did not know what was happening)

> clean up the party and go home to your partner’s apartment you moved into yesterday

> whatnow.jpeg

> oh shit turns out you’re a magic user!!!!!

> hmm wonder what “inferniate” does

> THE FLOOR IS ON FIRE

> call the fire department

> YOU ARE ON FIRE

> fire department saves the day!

> you are now permanently traumatized about fire! 🎉🎊

> go to sleep

> partner comes home at 1 am, exhausted and about to piss themself, manages to get in bed but their needs are fucked

> you have work at 9 am!

> you were so tired you woke up at 8:30 but are very hungry but also don’t want to set more things on fire so you warm up a brea

> TIME TO GO TO WORK

> kfast burrito (that thankfully ends up in your inventory)

> first day of work as an interior designer! you have no idea what you’re doing but you manage to do a good job! (still scared of fire, worried about skipper bc they are all alone all day and have to work too)

> go home to partner who is still alive

> remember that you have to select gigs as an interior designer, pick one for tomorrow

> your One friend invites you to a festival but you decline bc you are With Your Partner Right Now

> wake up at 2 am to remember that it’s your birthday so you cancel your gig

> it’s also new years eve whoa

> skipper takes a vacation day so they can thr

> TIME TO GO TO WORK

> ow you a party hmm that should not have happened

> your werewolf client is FURIOUS for some reason but you cancel the gig anyway (again)

> go home!

> you decorate for new years while skipper arranges the party

> setting up the party is a bit of a struggle bc they don’t know your One friend so you end up having to do it

> party time!! the guests are a combo of skipper’s friends, your One friend, and a bartender you met in passing that seems cool

> skipper bakes the cake because they’re level seven cooking

> everyone is chatting and having a grand ol time and skipper is in their element because they LOVE parties and socializing

> your partner fucking DIES FROM LAUGHTER

> ON YOUR BIRTHDAY

> AND NEW YEARS EVE

> DURING YOUR BIRTHDAY PARTY

> IN FRONT OF THEIR CLOSEST FRIENDS

(at this point i am flabbergasted and looking up how the fuck to stop this from happening and attempt hella cheats, none of which work)

> everyone is sobbing

> scratch that, everyone except your partner’s ex, who has decided that now is the perfect time to work on her dj skills

> grim reaper shows up, you plead for their life, he does not care

> your partner is now An Urn

> fuck it we ball

> cast inferniate on the grim reaper

> he is pissed

> follow it up with deliriate

> hit him with inferniate again, catching yourself on fire

> grim reaper poofs

> the party goal meter is Still Going

> end the party, sending everyone home

> they all leave with “disappointing party” sentiments

> nofuckingshit.gif

> now it’s just you, singed, in your dead partner’s apartment with their urn, on new years eve, on your birthday

> the cake is still half-made on the counter

#also skipper had like 800k followers at that point and someone would have to let them know! ain’t about to be grace tho #i kept trying to use cheats to teach her the resurrection spell but they weren’t working and I haven’t played around with the spell stuff #yet to know how it works so I almost completely pivoted the plot of the world to be grace changing her aspiration to learn everything about #spells instead of potions to revive skipper #but then I decided I would not and just quit without saving so I’d go back to my last save which was right after skipper’s party but #apparently before grace set the apartment on fire so that was kinda nice #quick way to get out of trauma #anyway now they’re engaged! gonna have grace’s birthday again and this time skipper has met her one friend so they can arrange everything #AND i learned how the death toggle cheat works so skipper will survive the party this time

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aclosetfan · 2 years

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Thoughts on the Powerpuff Girls reboot? I'm personally way to excited!!

Omg no way!! You’re actually the one who told me! I’ve been so busy studying for my test that I didn’t even know! This is so exciting!!

Truly, I think the most exciting part is Craig will be running it! :) like I can’t be mad 🤷‍♀️ whatever Craig does, I’m just excited that new kids will get to see what we saw and fall in love with the series!! I hope the show gets the facelift it deserves, and we get to see the girls in a new light. Like idk maybe we’ll see something where Bunny is treated the way she should have been, along with a more diverse set of characters, who don’t lean so heavily on stereotypes like a typically 90s show. Food for thought!!!

(Omg I hope they bring back the og voice actors!!! That would be AMAZING! And I bet they’d be interested :)))

But I can’t help but wonder why Warner Bros/Hanna-Barbera is doing this, you know?? The 2016 reboot didn’t do well. The CW, obviously didn’t do well either. And outside of the niche fandom, i don’t think there’s like a huge demand to bring the show back. Maybe Gorillaz helped out since Ace seems to be so popular there??

Maybe Warner Bros is trying to capitalize on viewer lash-back by bringing Craig back, but I don’t think they’ll pull any sizable adult audience if the show remains just a kid show, so there goes the nostalgia factor. But hey, the WB Animaniacs reboot did very good!!

Lmao I also bet Craig is just tired of people tanking his stuff, and wants to set the record straight!! I would be too 🤷‍♀️ except now I’m terrified he’s read bad fanfics of his show and is going to make a few jabs at us lmaoooo 😂😂😂

I am a little worried though, like I naturally am with all reboots, that the things that made the powerpuff girls so great, is something that networks generally dont allow anymore. Cartoon violence has definitely gone down. Stupid toilet humor is hard to come by. And animator ideas are constantly shot down. I mean, it’s Hanna-Barbera, not Disney, so maybe it won’t be so bad, but good cartoons get tanked fast because of conservative tv ideals (look at Craig’s other show Wander over Yander—very popular; cancelled early)

Ik it won’t be the 2016 reboot that tried too hard to get kids to like it, but OOF fingers crossed Craig gets the creative space he deserves to make a really really good show!

Here’s what I’m really hoping for: (1) Warner bros/Hanna-B see that people are frustrated that good shows are getting canceled pre-maturely, (2) starts becoming the network artists *want* to go to, and we get to see real stories again, instead of half-baked ideas b/c Disney sucks lol, (3) Cartoon Network gets back to its glory days! And like maybe Craig can pave the way 🤷‍♀️

Haha, who knows, maybe I’m being too optimistic! I just like animation and I want the industry to remain creative. I’m sorry this ended up not even being a lot about the powerpuff girls lmao but censorship is something I worry about in media, and the og ppg is one of those shows I don’t think would have happened if it were originally made in 2022. Like please, no offense, I dont want to sound like an old grumpy person, but Bellum’s of design wouldn’t fly nowadays even though it’s a satirical critique on how old cartoons drew women. I mean look at Alex Hirsch’s video on his S&P notes with gravity falls. Ik it was Disney, but they couldn’t even say “bottles will be spun” to imply teenagers making out. They couldn’t use the word “crud”, but back in the day on Codename Kids Next Door (which I argue really does need the squeal/reboot people petitioned for) crud was used every other sentence.

ANYWAY, I hope Craig is allowed to stay faithful to his original designs, and make the content he deserves to make 👏 I’ll be there on the sidelines supporting him every step of the way lmaoo

Idk idk what do you think??? What are your thoughts??

#I stg if network censor even touch the mayor #I’ll fucking lose it #but overall I’m like HOLY SHIT Craig’s coming back?!?!?! 😭🙌👏👏👏🙌😂🥹🤗🥹🥰🥳🥳🥳🥳#ppg reboot #fingerscrossed it’s good #long post

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tymime · 2 years

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The more I watch movies and TV, I’m finding that I generally prefer TV when it comes to ongoing stories featuring the same cast of characters. (Of course, being the cartoon fanatic that I am, I’m mostly talking about animation.)

I think what first made me realize this was the Ice Age series. Over time, there have just been too many characters to keep track of and attempt to give them equal screen time- which, ironically, makes it nearly impossible to give them proper character arcs. By the time Ice Age: Continental Drift came around, there were so many characters that it was really only Manny and Diego who got any development.

In contrast, a show like All Hail King Julien or The Adventures of Puss in Boots had ample time to allow almost every character to shine during their time in the spotlight, mostly because they had episodes focused entirely on them. Puss himself and Dulcinea in particular were able to learn and grow by quite a bit. Some movie series feel like they’re stuck trying to top themselves and be more and more epic with each installment, with no breathing room for smaller, less high-stakes stories. (The Marvel Cinematic Universe being a major exception, of course.)

Not all TV series are like this, of course. But I’ve found that I’ve grown very, very weary of ongoing series, whether it’s the big screen or the small screen, that have only one continuing plot line. Mostly this is because I get really tired of plots that go on and on forever until they get canceled. You know how it is: You get all riled up about some mystery or conspiracy the heroes have to solve, and you’re waiting for all of your questions to be answered, and BAM! there’s a season finale that raises just as many questions as it answers, and the plot thickens until it can choke a horse. Either that or the goal post keeps moving away, and the heroes never defeat the villain or become the world champion or whatever, ad infinitum. Quantum Leap and the Pokémon anime come to mind, while Samurai Jack only escaped this trap because Genddy Tartakovsky was able to make a final season.

What the heck happened to adventure series that only had one adventure per episode? That sort of show is fun and keeps things varied and fresh. Something new happens every week. It’s occurred to me that it’s actually really unrealistic for a character’s life to stay on a single track for the rest of eternity. In real life, new things can surprise you every day. Your job and your hobbies and your family are interweaving branches that take you different paths, different journeys. There are way too many TV series nowadays that feel the need to be clever and have an endless arc with so many plot twists that it knots up on itself, never allowing the characters to do anything else except remain hyper-focused on one singular task. I find it incredibly boring and tiresome, and it makes my brain hurt. Maybe I LIKE “monster of the week” shows.

I do make exceptions, however. There’s the aforementioned Marvel Cinematic Universe, which somehow rarely suffers from these pitfalls (although Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is pretty guilty of them). It miraculously blends together epic cosmic battles and more domestic battles, while never feeling singular in its scope, or ever neglecting to give characters enough screentime. The Adventures of Puss in Boots also had an ongoing plot throughout its run, but it’s constantly evolving into a new one. It’s more like the plots overlap one another.

There have been several times when I’ve watched an animated movie and thought to myself, “This would make for a great TV show. I want to see the characters go on more adventures!”

#opinions #thoughts #movies #tv #television #cartoons #animation #marvel #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #ice age #all hail king julien #puss in boots #dreamworks

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owlfacenightkit · 1 year

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I’m so sick of live action shows being allowed to have all the seasons they want but then animation getting canned as soon as it starts to gain a following. Stranger Things is getting a fifth season while Infinity Train had to struggle for its whole existence! Animated shows are getting cancelled left and right!! These companies are just driven by money and greed and they’ve turned art into commercialized entertainment. Well, I’m sick of it. I wish that those companies would realize the value and beauty in animation

And on a similar note, why is it that good shows get cancelled almost immediately while garbage shows get to continue on for as long as they want?? Dana Terrace didn’t deserve to be silenced! She should have been able to tell her story the whole way through!

I personally think there’s not much worse than cancellation. It’s a story and if it’s cut short it can’t be told the way the creator wanted it to be

In short, I am sick and tired of everything that’s been taking place over the last couple of years in animation. I used to want to go into animation. Not anymore. Not to a company that will kill my dreams and steal what I love. I want to support indie animation, games, movies, anything. Indie creators. They’re doing what they love. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it takes a lot of work because they’re not on an actual show- or movie-sized budget

But it is so, so worth it

#Owl Hoots #vent #rant #I’m just. so tired #I don’t want to fight anymore #but I have to #and so I will #I’ll fight until the battleground is painted red with the blood of my enemies and us artists prevail #this was just going to be short and then it turned into THIS #sorry :)#animation #the animation crisis

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genshinfanboy · 2 years

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hey there !! may I get a romantic matchup for your 200 followers event ?? thank you <3<3

I'm a 5'0 very pale, lil chubby, black to red split-dye long hair, blue eyed transgender gay enby. I look tired almost always, and I have a resting bitchface (no idea until now lol). My MBTI is ISFP 4w5, and I'm on the gemini/cancer cusp. I love collecting things, such as plushies, rubber ducks, and knives. I know those two first things are childish but they comfort me a lot and they're just super fun to collect !! I collect knives because I think they're cool and I like showing them off. I would never use them to harm or threaten anyone, I'm not that kind of person. I also love bugs & cats, my two favorite things ever !! Bugs are my friend and I love finding them under rocks and such. I love praying mantis' and spiders especially, they have a beauty non-bug lovers don't understand bwahaha. Cats are cute lil' guys and I have two of my own, so I'm a little biased. They're like my kids and I care for them sooo much. My hobbies include drawing, writing, playing slime rancher & sims 4, listening to music, and outdoor activities. Such as going to theme parks (I love rollercoasters sm), random cool museums in my city, and hiking/skiing/those sorts of things. I'm willing to try anything once and I'm almost always down for a fun adventure like that. I like the warmth, being alone, sleeping, being useful to others, watching shows, being with animals, and just being outdoors generally. I hate HATE the cold and I hate people who forget things easily and just can't plan very well. I'm flexible with plans sometimes but I get very discouraged easily and may just cancel on spot. Now for my personality, I'd say I'm quite reserved and shy when you first meet me! I prefer to talk in body movements/motions instead of verbally, that's just how I am. However I have no problem with addressing older people for some reason. I take a while to trust people and to warm up generally, even if I like them. I have a hard time starting conversations and can cover up my awkwardness by laughing or just going "yeah". When I warm up to people though, I am very chaotic and a mess. I do almost anything to make people laugh and I love doing stupid stuff that I'll regret in a day. I never make jokes about my friends and I never insult anyone in them, I don't go too far. I love my friends and I'd never hurt their feelings like that. I'm always there to listen to them but I mainly enjoy helping them with their problems than sitting down and comforting them. I have a slight temper but I am becoming good at controlling it. I stand up for what I believe in and I'm not afraid to cut somebody off entirely if they do something that's just totally wrong. I gain emotional attachments easily and I'm very easy to scare or make cry; I'm pretty sensitive. In private I'm a very cuddly person and I adore physical affection & quality time more than anything else. PDA Isn't my thing and I prefer to be left alone in that sense, but if I'm feeling happy, I like hand holding and small kisses.

Hope that was enough! Thanks!

Hello. My apologies for taking a few longer than I would've like on these. I got sick and just recovered. Anyways I hope you enjoy and have a fantastic day or night. If you don't like your match up results please take it with a grain of salt.

Your match up would the one and Oni Itto:

Hear me out on this one tho Itto is very loud and likes being the center of attention you two would contrast very nicely with one another with your personalities. Itto likes animals and has a vast collection of different things and encourage you to continue collecting. He'd also ask you to go onikabuto hunting with him. He would be so excited for you to meet his gang. He's positive you and Shinobu would get along well too. No need to fear coming off awkward or not knowing how to start a conversation when you first get to know him. He has got you covered on that. He may act annoying at first until someone like Shinobu points out to him you are shy. That doesn't stop him from trying to do everything in his power (and maybe things out of his control) to be your friend. He would have respect for you when you stick up for what you believe in. Itto would find your high cute. He would also claim you match with the red in your hair. He may get in trouble a lot but he doesn't mean any harm. If you have to defend your beliefs he'll be your hype man and back you up. You'd be accepted into the gang and become apart of their little family. Though from what you said you'd mainly hang out with Shinobu and Itto. PDA might be a thing you have to remind him not to do a few times but once he gets it he won't slip up. If he messes up he can apologize sometimes a bit reluctant but he'll still apologize. You'll also be able to relax in knowing the fact if he or anyone else makes you cry he is the first person by your side to comfort you. He'll also try to make you laugh and make the perpetrator(s) apologize as well. Quality time with you would be one of his favorite because of the cuddly and domestic behaviors. Over all a very balanced and well intended relationship where you help each other out.

#genshin impact #taylor writes #200 follower special #itto x reader

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vintage-bentley · 2 years

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Seriously though, we basically have NO lesbian vampire content. Like before First Kill has even been announced I've browsed webtoon and half the anime/manga sites for w/w vampires and there's a work and a half and neither worth watching where's there's an abundance of m/m works nevermind het ships. I'm so upset how did we get from Carmilla to this point - Sims anon getting wildly off topic

DON’T REMIND ME 😭

Listen. I love vampires. So much. I have been wanting a lesbian vampire show forever, and was literally squealing with excitement when I heard about First Kill. The release date became so burned into my mind as an Important Date that I got it mixed up with other Important Dates and when asked by a family member when another important thing was, I said it was June 10th only to have to correct myself later. I wanted this show so bad and I enjoyed it so much, and plan on watching it again. I am SO MAD that it got cancelled.

It’s not like this is just a generic “oh it’s another show with vampires”, it fills a very specific niche which happens to be my favourite niche;

- vampires

- forbidden lovers/star-crossed lovers

- the romance is between two women

- bonus: evil woman who kills people

I was also super excited when I saw that a main character’s name was Calliope, because I absolutely love that name. It was even cooler that her brothers had Greek mythology names too.

The only thing that could’ve made it better is if Juliette wasn’t so “oh no I can’t kill people, that’s bad and I’m a good person :(“. I went into it hoping she’d be more like Elinor ngl. I’m kinda tired of the Good Person Vampire trope, Angel from the Buffyverse and Edward Cullen kinda exhausted it for me. But even then, I still love Juliette.

Anyway, because it fills that specific niche, it’s not like taking it away doesn’t leave an impact. There’s nothing to fill the void. How many shows can you name that are about star-crossed lesbian lovers who are a vampire and monster hunter? None. It HURTS. I am never going to get over this.

#it’s on topic in my heart because I haven’t stopped thinking about it #I really hope it gets saved #even though I know it’s been said that would be difficult since Netflix owns it and produced it and everything #I have been going around with the theme song stuck in my head and it hurts #asks #anon

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kart0 · 7 days

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Little update !

Heyyy everyone !!!! Just wanted to write lol

So last update I told you I was going to my psych appt but she fucking cancelled it ? And then I rescheduled and then she just fucking bailed on me and didn't even show up to her own clinic ? Anyways I got very very upset and angry bc apparently she was TRAVELLING TO FUCKIGN NEW YORK ????????????? y'all...istg I must be a fucking saint to tolerate shit like this. Maybe I'm too passive...I didn't even allow myself to get mad and tell her but anyways. I guess I just am too used to sucking things up.

Ok so she told me to lower my dosage, and now I'm like ? Hm, I don't think so. And I might have done something really stupid ?

And I do not recommend anyone to do this PLEASE DON'T, TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR ! Erhm.... I might have stopped taking my meds ? For like. A month now ?

It kinda just happened honestly... I didn't have money to buy them, and then I started to forget taking them everyday, and then I guess I just. Idk I just stopped taking them ? And I only did that because I felt ok ? Not too bad, not too good, normal actually. And I know this is such a stupid part of me but I don't really think the meds were working anyways ? And since I dont feel bad, I guess I just. Do not care ?

I don't know ? I haven't been very anxious, I haven't been depressed, my mania ended a few days ago, I feel, normal. And ok. Idk ? When I got depressed it felt really debilitating but then I suddenly became maniac and it was over very suddenly and now I feel better. The only thing tho is now my sleep schedule is FUCKED. But idk ? Nothing else tbh ?

And I do not advise anyone to do this, I am making sure to say it as many times as it takes !!!!! Please ! I am saying dumb things I am not a doctor I have not studied medicine I have no idea what's going on !!! But I do know my body, and I can tell how I feel. And for now, I feel ok.

I am currently tabling at this anime convention and it's been taking my time for many weeks now, preparing merch and stuff, and now it's finally happening and ? It's very.... Idk ? Idk ? Idk idk I forgot the word (I'm not a native English speaker btw) it's when something goes below your expectation ? The event pretty much flopped, the tables were expensive, and I didn't sell too much. Idk ? Today's the last day (thank GOD, I forgot how much of a hassle and a pain and how tiring it is) so let's see how this will go.

I am so excited for my winter break tho !!!!! Can't wait to just play games and draw fun stuff and rot. Yay ! Soon.....

Also ! Haikyuu movie is finally here in Brazil !!!!!!! YAS !!! I AM SO SO SO HYPED AND EXCITED ! I haven't gotten tickets yet ofc cuz I'm busy but soon...soon my dear...

And ? It think I might have a little infatuation with this guy on my class. He is very, and I mean, VERY, handsome, and pretty, he's so good looking, I'm embarrassed to interact with him, and I get all awkward and shy. I just forget how to behave normally ? And I try so FUCKING hard to act normal (more than usual since..I act like this all the time. It's the tism) anyways and I found out he's not actually dating anyone ? Last year I knew he had a gf (she's in my class too) and I swore they were still together, but just were very low profile. Turns out no they broke up. Ugh I just. And he makes silly jokes of me and just, acting like an annoying little shit (he's the youngest sibling) and keeps saying I'm bald and stuff like that (just cuz...I dyed my hair blond ? Idk what his thought process is) anyways so like. I can't even tell if he likes me as a person ? He also keeps saying fuck yourself constantly to me . Like. Uhm ? Idk ? I am very intimidated by him but I can't tell if it's because he's the most beautiful person I've ever seen or if it's cuz of these "jokes". At first I thought it was very mean, and I tend to take things vry literally so I tried my best to not interact with him because i didn't want him to keep saying mean things, and didn't want to ruin even more my reputation or what he thought about me, but then I realized he jokes like this with everyone ? Which, honestly, is very very stupid. Hes a little stupid. I think it's because he's a man.

Anyways, I'm just so confused. I'm trying not to think too much about it because I tend to over project and my mind spirals and I start imagining scenarios and I might get confused and convince myself I have feelings that I might not really have ? Idk... I know I'm a romantic for sure so like. I tend to imagine too much idk idk idk so I keep trying to rationalize and think straight. Like, we don't even get along that well ? I think ? I don't even know if we're even friends ? I know he knows prettier people than me. I'm not very good looking. I'm not very nice too. I'm not good at anything really, and I don't have a very good personality. I am just not good. I have a friend and she's so sweet, and her nickname is "jesus". Cuz she's just nice and hardworking, and she always tries her best. And... I won't lie. I really really like her, and I can tell you all these things are true about her. And...it makes a little. Envious. I wish people thought about me that way I wished I was naturally good, and not having to try my best and work to be normal every single day. I wished people would see how much I'm trying. I really really am trying. But it's just not a natural thing to me, I guess. I always, constantly have this feeling, that I'm always performing. Someone is always watching me. And I always have to be my best and try hard and I just. I force myself to be nicer, more considerate, more careful, more thoughtful. Because these things just don't come up to me naturally. I am not good. Sorry for the rant.

Ugh. I think I just am forcing myself to feel something, y'know ? I've always dreamed about falling in love. I don't think I've ever did. Nor will ever do. I am pretty sure I'm aroace anyways.

Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh. Why are boys so stupid.

I just hope things don't turn out the way it did before, with my ex best friend. To sum up, he had feelings, I THOUGHT I had feelings too, but I just really really liked him, as a friend. As a best friend, in fact. So I ended up things and we just. Don't talk or hang out anymore. Which made me pretty upset, and made me think I might had actual feelings. Turned out I was just fucking lonely and miserable, and he was my ONE ONLY friend. Now that I've been hanging around with my uni colleagues, I don't feel that alone anymore. I made more friends ! Yay !

Also ! Happy pride month ! Happy to say that it's been some months since I came out as gender fluid, and I am so proud and never been better and as confident ( with my physical appearance) as I was before !

Ugh anyways, thanks for listening to me. As always, I will try to work on myself and become a better person every day. Thank u all !

Oh ! Ps: I've been slowly eating more ! I might fail sometimes but I've been making sure to at least go to bed with a full stomach. So I won't wake up dying and feeling miserable and in pain. So this is an improvement I believe !

#update #me #life update that for once isn't a rant

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