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starsarefire824 · 1 year

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Everyone are having doubts do you still believe in byler endgame and if you do how you think will be? Not what do you wants but what really will happens knowing the duffer and how they write the show.

Hey anon, thank you for the ask!

As far as Byler goes, I'm still at the same point I've been this entire time...I honestly and truly believe that the writing has hinted at, suggested, alluded to it being real. I h lol ave personally been on the "wrong" side of a different major fandom (which I won't mention here)---ridiculed, called crazy, obsessive etc--to then have everything we had claimed from the beginning be proven true in the final act. If you want to know what I'm talking about you can probably figure it out from my profile or you can message me and I'll go on that rant in private lol.

Either way, my point is.....everything that is happening in this fandom...mimics that one entirely. It is a fandom that is dominated by a generally male, white, hetero-normative point of view. And so I think it's easy to lose hope, it's easy to give in to those people telling you that you're crazy for seeing what you're seeing.

But what it comes down to in the end is, most of us have been here since season 2. Most of us have been noticing the hints for years. And after season three, I'm not really sure what people are looking at if they are not seeing the complicated relationship that Mike has with El and Will. It is a canon fact that he cannot balance them emotionally. When one is in his life, the other is out. Season 3 proved that when they are both in his life at the same time, he cannot make it work. When he is paying attention to El, he is hurting Will. When he is paying attention to Will, he is hurting El. And this all comes to a head in season 4.

And season 4 is interesting to me because once again, El is (after a few episodes) quickly removed from Will and Mike's immediate story line. Mike, once again, ends up with Will in situations that make them work together. Situations that make them be emotionally vulnerable with each other. Situations that allow them to become closer.

I firmly believe that there is a reason, besides Mike being emotionally stunted by his family, that he can't say "i love you" to El. I think that the writers' had specific intentions when they wrote Mike's "love confession" to El as a direct response to Will's emotions. I firmly believe that if I was supposed to be rooting for El and Mike to be together, I as an audience member, would have been given a private, softly lit, romantically coded emotional scene between Mike and El post "2 days later". But we didn't. The softly lit, emotional, intimate moment we got? Was with Will.

Furthermore, El and Will have been directly paralleled since season one and since season 2 both of their storylines have directly revolved around Mike. And one character, Will, has been the one that has been show to need and want Mike in the way that he needs to be needed and wanted. Will has been the character that specifically benefits from Mike's attention and love. El's journey has always been for herself. It has always been figuring out where she belongs in the world and claiming her autonomy from Brenner (and Henry and many others).

As for how I believe the Duffer's will accomplish this? I have as good a guess as the rest of you. I am just a humble fan. But from the context clues that we've been given throughout the show....I have a hunch that El and Will will discover some sort of connection between the two of them. This connection will probably directly relate to the pull they feel towards Mike. I think that El will continue her journey from season 4 of self-discovery and standing on her own two feet, rejecting the men (people) around her who tell her they know what she wants/needs/desires. I think that Will will have his "coming of age". He will finally accept himself for who he is. I think it will be revealed that Will has some sort of direct connection to either the Upside Down or Henry himself. I think that he is the "cure" or the "key" to healing what has been broken. I really love the "wonder twin" idea that Will and El will work together to defeat Vecna.

And finally, I think that Mike, the knight, the paladin, the heart of the party....he'll finally realize where his heart truly lies. And Will, understanding that his love is reciprocated, that their love is true. I really think it will, in some way, (even if it's one small working part in the huge machine that is Stranger Things), help defeat the evil that has reigned over Hawkins for too long.

Maybe I'm too much of a romantic. But I'm gonna continue to believe it until I'm proven wrong. I will be the first to admit defeat as it comes, but for me....

There are just too many parallels, hints, subtext etc. for me to believe anything else at this point. I don't think the Duffer Brothers are pulling our leg, I don't believe they are trying to queerbait us, I don't believe they made this show for the people of Reddit and Facebook. I truly think, when they said it was for the "outsiders" and the "misunderstood" they meant it. And imo, Byler is a real part of that that will be made clear in the final act.

Let's hope we're right! <3

#byler #byler ask #stranger things #stranger things 5 #asks #will byers #mike wheeler

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atomicpoetrymusic-blog · 2 years

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Ok, I have been really getting into the School for Good and Evil (SGE) recently, and I have to share my thoughts on why I think it is a bad adaptation.

I had never even heard of SGE before a few weeks ago, after seeing the trailer for the film. I thought it looked interesting, and I like several of the actors involved with the project, so I thought I'd give it a watch. I quite enjoyed it, even if I thought it was a bit clunky in places.

I then went on to listen to the audiobooks for the first 3 books. Needless to say I was quite surprised by how many differences there were between the film and the books.

While I don't mind so much about the aesthetic changes - such as Agatha not being so 'ugly' (I'll come back to this point later), Tedros's hair, or Anadil not being albino - I feel like this is indicative of something that I feel modern moviemakers have an issue with handling when it comes to adaptations, especially from books: in books, EVERYTHING is based in description, and description matters.

While Tedros's hair is something I can and will look over (I thoroughly enjoyed the actor's performance, and hair is the least of my concerns right now), Agatha and Anadil's appearances are slightly more concerning to me.

I know it can't be easy to find an actor who is simultaneously good for the role acting-wise, and pale enough to at least pass as albino with hair and makeup (preferably actually albino, but needs must), but in terms of this particular character, I was actually quite confused between the film and book versions. Having seen the film first, Anadil's description in the book is basically the complete opposite to the actor, both looks and character-wise (nothing against the actor, I think she did brilliantly with what she was given), and was quite jarring to me - I can't imagine what it must have been like for long-term book fans who had an image of her built up over years.

However, Agatha is a whole other problem. Anyone who follows me should already know that I love Sofia Wylie, and I think she is a wonderful actor, but I just think she is too conventionally attractive to be Agatha. Don't get me wrong, Agatha is beautiful, as is Sofia, but half the point of Agatha in the books is that she sees herself as ugly, and has incredibly low self esteem, to the point where she tries to get Tedros to fall in love with Sophie MULTIPLE times throughout the 3 books I've read, simply because she is insecure in how she is perceived by others, and because she thinks Sophie is pretty, and that being pretty matters. She learns over the course of the story that being conventionally attractive doesn't matter, so much as who you are as a person. One of my favourite books of all time, Roald Dahl's 'The Twits', sums this idea up beautifully:

"If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until it gets so ugly you can hardly bear to look at it. A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely."

As someone who is not conventionally attractive, and also have low self esteem, I feel kind of hollow watching the film now I've read (listened to) the books. Especially because the film cut the scene where Agatha is granted a wish by Professor Dovey to look beautiful, and was treated differently on her way to find a mirror, only to discover Dovey didn't change her appearance at all, it was all down to how she felt within herself. Losing that element of self-perceived ugliness, only to be proven wrong not by how she looks but how she felt, hurts me in a way I can't describe. And I'm in my twenties, I hate to think what that sort of thing would do to a teenager, with my same issues with self-image.

Another issue I have with film!Agatha is her costuming - in the book, she goes out of her way to dress poorly, despite being forced to wear a pink dress. In the film, Agatha has flowers in her hair, nicely done makeup, fancy jewellery, and all her dresses suit her. It makes her entrance to the Evers ball less impressive (whereas the equivalent scene in the book makes a whole deal out of her choosing to dress nicely - Tedros doesn't even recognise her at first). In fact, I think it would have worked even better in the film if they chose to have Agatha dress poorly, as it would make it more obvious to the audience why such an obviously pretty girl would be treated so badly by her better-dressed classmates. In the book, Agatha is also not conventionally attractive, but Sofia Wylie is. The filmmakers should have acknowledged the difference between the two, and used Sofia's beauty to their advantage.

Another reason I think the film is not a great adaptation is because of Sophie. Sophia Anne Caruso does a fantastic job in the role, but that's not the issue - Sophie is just too sympathetic.

In the books, she is vain, shallow, and selfish, constantly putting down others (Agatha especially), will do anything to get what she wants, and thinks that to be Good, all she has to do is be pretty. In the film, she is genuine friends with Agatha from the start (rather than befriending her as a 'good deed'), has a mean-spirited step-mother (who in the books is actually quite nice, Sophie just hates her), and is pushed into doing evil things by others such as Lesso and Rafal, rather than being and becoming evil by herself. It takes away her agency as a character, to do and say and think for herself.

The worst part about this, for me, however, is that I could feel that Sophie was too sympathetic in the film even before I read the books. Her actions were less character-driven, and more plot-driven, and it showed. Her montage of dressing in flashy, stylish clothing while also acting rude and seductive felt really out of place for the Sophie the film had been writing for up to that point. Then I read the books, and it made so much more sense - not only that, but Sophie was actually still putting up a 'sweeter that sugar' façade at that point in the book, trying to get Tedros to fall in love with her.

It's what made her redemption in 'The Last Ever After' that much better - because it came from within her. She was a flawed, wonderfully written character, who at the end of the day just wanted to be loved, but made all the wrong decisions in order to get to that love. But that's why she could never find it - because she was acting selfishly. Agatha found her True Love in Tedros, not because she wanted to (actually they both hated each other initially), but because they wanted to become better people for each other, and were both selfless in their wants - Tedros wants to be a good king FOR his people, and Agatha wants to be a good queen FOR Tedros, so that he can be a good king FOR his people.

With Sophie losing the nastier, EVILLER character traits she had in the books, it cheapens the win that Good has over Evil.

And that's another issue I had - the film suffers from the Percy Jackson effect. They tried to have their cake and eat it too. Introducing Rafal AS Rafal and not just the School Master, as well as combining Lady Lesso with Evelyn Sader, has made making sequels to the film much harder for them, just like the Percy Jackson films did with Kronos.

Not only that, but like the Percy Jackson films, the SGE film tries to establish the characters as Good and Evil. On a surface level, that must seem obvious - The School for Good and Evil is literally the name of the series. But that's what the filmmakers failed to understand about the books: there was still nuance. In the first Percy Jackson film, Hades was portrayed as if he were the devil just because he was God of the Dead, when in the books he was actually just as in the wrong as Zeus or Poseidon, and although he made some mistakes, he ultimately was a flawed person, who just wanted his stuff back. Rafal has kind of had the same treatment - yes, he was basically Evil Incarnate in the books, but he was still a person, who regretted killing his brother in his bid for power, and truly believed he loved Sophie.

Another issue I had was with how the film treated the Good students, the princesses in particular. In the books, Beatrix, Millicent and their friends, while not very nice to Agatha, were still good people. They wished for Princes in the wish fish scene not because they were selfish and obnoxious (like in the film), but because they didn't want to fail their classes. They had their own wants and needs, and their own strengths and weaknesses. In the film, Beatrix in particular (while phenomenally cast) came off as that typical Regina George type character, with (again) very little nuance. I actually quite liked Beatrix in the book - she was bubbly, helpful when she wanted to be, and was happy for Agatha when she 'became' beautiful. The film strips her of all that, making her snide and arrogant - something I wish the film gave to Sophie.

Just so that I don't end on a mean note, here are some things I really liked about the film that I haven't already mentioned:

Hort and Hester - both were born for the roles they played, and were styled to perfection

the CGI, which was beautiful

Charlize Theron as Lady Lesso, truly stunning

Kit Young as Rhian and Rafal, especially the fight scene

the acting - while I have issues with the characterisation and some appearances, every single actor knocked it out the park, I honestly can't think of a weak link

the chemistry between Tedros and Agatha was on point, and I loved the scene where Agatha tripped and Tedros caught her

Tedros's fight scenes, which were well choreographed

the hair and makeup, especially for Beatrix and Lesso, their hair must have taken HOURS to get that good

Kiko wanting to be a cat so she can sleep under a warm stove, which was painfully in character

the princess dresses were very pretty, I wish I could wear one

In conclusion, I think SGE would work better as a tv series, with more time to flesh out the nuances of the themes and characters.

#sge #school for good and evil #school for good and evil spoilers #sge spoilers #i made this on a whim #and it turned into an essay #i keep doing this #its really a problem

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dadjokeslady · 1 year

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I'm having a bit of a back and forth with @bowserwife about gender and radical feminism, some of the points I'll e repeating here, so hopefully in future discussions I can use this as a reference and this might spark the discussion with other people.

Preamble

About this discussion, I'll just point out some notions for the debate.

I'm going to engage in good faith and I'll assume you're engaging in good faith too, but I'll match your energy, if you wanna go blood sports let's dance.

I'll assume you disagree with me because you might have heard some argument that I did not or because you haven't heard one I did.

English is not my first language, I'd something sounds uncanny it might be that.

Hypothesis

Let's start with a brief list if things I will not debate, if you disagree with any of those this post ain't for you.

We live in a patriarchal society

Sex is a biological category that follows a binormal distribution (most of us are either male or female)

Gender is a biopsychosocial category informed by gender but not defined by gender

Sex and gender are different things

The whole debate space between trans folk and radfem can have some nasty people saying mean things to each other, those things do not make anyone right nor wrong

Any definition of woman that includes Buck Angels failed

Any definition of woman that excludes cis woman failed

Any definition of woman that includes cis man failed

The arguments

Part 1 - rigorous definitions

I do have some background in math and I used to have a professor who said that there are three important things in math:

Rigour; rigour; and rigour. Some say you need a forth one, rigour, but I find it unnecessary.

I'll agree that rigorous definitions are valuable tools to understand the world, so let's express clearly what is meant by a rigorous definition. Some criteria one can use to identify if some object belongs to some class of objects such that the criteria includes in the category all the things that it should (no object is missed) and that the criteria do not introduce anything that it should not (no object is miss classified).

I'll provide one example, the natural numbers as defined by Peano:

1 (one) is a natural number.

For every two natural numbers a it's successor, a+1 is a natural number.

OBS: Peano did not include zero as a natural number, this is by design.

You'll notice that the definition is separated into two parts a base case and a recursive case. The definition leaves nothing to be interpreted, either something is a natural number or it is not, there is no context influence, no conditionals.

Or does it? It is pretty easy to overlook, but the Peano definition of natural numbers depends on the definition of the + (plus) operator. It might seem trivial but it is not. Peano natural numbers only work under the hypothesis that any numbers plus one is different then the original number, i.e. a+1 /= a.

Then, we can point that we need to define what equality means, so we can define what difference means... This'll run down until we need to define axioms, statements that can't be proven and we assume as true.

If math cannot rigorously define natural numbers without axioms, what hope do we have of defining anything as rigorously in the real world? We'll see.

Before we continue and leave this dreaded land of math, let me raise some other properties of definitions.

If two categories have the same definition, e.g. the non null absolute values of the integers is another definition of the natural number (a pretty round about way to define them but still). Those two categories can be viewed as being the same.

If two different categories of objects, with different definitions, can have their objects translated from the first category to the second one without losing any structural properties, it is a homomorphism. A pair of homomorphisms such that the translation can be undone is an isomorphism. Two categories between which there is an isomorphism are said to be equal up to isomorphism, or in plain English, equivalent.

The equivalence itself is contextual to what we mean by lost structural properties, and it can be distilled further, but we can specify those as we find it necessary later.

Part 2 - definitions in the real world

In the real world definitions are much more loose than in math, just as an example to hammer this home, we cannot define if things are equal without some leniency and good faith. Is two blank A4 sheets of paper equal? In that sense? They for sure are not maid by the same atoms. They for sure do not have the same thickness down to a piconometer scale... Whenever, this point forward, I say something is equal or equivalent to something else, I mean equal or equivalent up to a good faith interpretation.

In other words, let's not occupy ourselves with petty word games, please.

The, "what is a woman?" discourse have the this trope of degrading into "what is a chair?" Questioning. For everyone who ever tried to respond to this kind of questioning, you misunderstood the argument. There are no objective answers to what is a chair that do not rely on a sea of unlisted axioms, and with the axioms being, by definition of axiom, unproven but assumed as true, any two definitions, as unequivalent as possible, have the same validity.

There will be a more lengthy discussion about what I'd argue should be the criteria of choice for differentiation between definitions, but for now let's assume that given two different valid definitions we'd all agree on what'd be better.

Other than chosing between two valid definitions, we can take a step back and attack the axioms on which that definition rests, if we try and define a car as having four wheels, that depends on wheels being round and we need to ask if that holds for every case...

Than again, we can still attack a definition by pointing out edge cases, and this is where we need to have good faith, there are cars that have any number of wheels, defining it as having four is "good enough" of a definition if we agree that those outlier are too much work to deal with as a whole and that we can go on a case by case basis.

That means we lost some of our rigour on our definitions, they all now have to have an asterisk pointing that there are edge cases. This is a toll most of us are willing to pay, and only concern ourselves with for petty word games, if some wants to use only definitions without it, I'd refer that someone to the endless chair defining threads.

Then how much of the general population constitutes and edge case is another discussion, deeply linked with the discussion of which of two equally valid definitions we should use.

Furthermore, in the real world we communicate using fallible language, and words have definitions themselves. As such we should at the very least differentiate nouns and the objects they refer to. There is the word "woman" and there is the category "woman". Words have meaning but we do have word play, sarcasm, double meaning... In the definitions I'll provide, I'll try to limit how much this can influence our understanding by aiming to define woman as a category, not the word woman.

Part 3 - defining gender and sex

The three categories: female, intersex and male, are sex based. But sex, as a metacategory needs a definition to itself. We can define it in terms of genotypically male or female, hormonally male or female, anatomically male or female. All those are interlocked so someone who is in the male category on the genetic level will most probably also have hormone levels that'd classify them as male, and the anatomy of a male. The genetic aspect informs the anatomy and the endocrine aspect, they both inform each other, but they can be pretty cleanly distinguished. In the real world, we look at the anatomy.

Do a newborn have the superficial anatomy of a male? they'll be classified as a male. This early classification is the origin of the terms AGAB (assigned gender at birth), AMAB (assigned male at birth) and AFAB (assigned female at birth). Please, let's point out that those terms are not rigorous, the AGAB is not a gender, it is a sex. The Female maker on anyone's birth certificate do not refer to the biopsychosocial construction of gender. Edge cases for this will include intersex cases where a sex is not assigned, those I'll argue we should see in a case by case basis if we classify them as AFAB or AMAB. The same, I'll argue, we should do to cases where there are no birth certificate, and most other edge cases.

So male or female can be defined better by doing so by observing the anatomy of a person. To do so we need a non exhaustive list of sex markers, be they discrete or continuous. The short version of this list is: body hair; genitalia; breasts; bone structure; fat distribution; height; muscle mass; etc. Each marker indicate one or other sex, having enough markers of one sex classify one as this sex, having enough markers of both classify someone as intersex. This definition is context free in relation to social aspects, we can with this definitions, classify people into male or female regardless of the society in which they exist.

In other words, I'm defining sex purely in terms of what can be determined in a physical examination. And foreshadowing the discussion I want to have about utilitarianism later, sometimes we might need or want to classify someone with incomplete information. Mostly, you don't look at someone's genitalia before clocking then as male or female, even if you ignore gender markers, most people with hairy chests are male, and that is a safe assumption to make.

Now that we have sex, what is gender? A shallow definition could be made as "psychosocial sex". That's the idea that originates the "pink brain/blue brain" simplification. It is not an invalid definition, but it do not make as clear as desirable what is meant.

As much as sex can be broke into multiple levels, gender has multiple aspects. We can speak about gender identity, expression and roles.

Gender roles are the society archetypes in terms of expected behavior and responsibilities. Those are not written into stone, gender roles change over time, change over geography, social economic status etc...

Gender expression is the individual instances os adherence to gender roles, mostly focused into aesthetics, but not exclusively.

Lastly, gender identity is the internal alignment with the external gender division. It is how someone feels, how someone see themselves, and how someone would wish to be seen.

Differently than the sex, gender can be perceived in all levels simultaneously. Unless there is some lie involved, if someone say they identity with a gender, you can for sure know their gender identity.

Gender expression, because of its presentation quality, can be queried by looking at someone's non biological appearance markers. Make-up; clothes; posture; voice tone; etc... And gender roles you can just as easily determine by watching what do the person do, what are the roles they assume.

Now, gender roles and gender presentation, as the set of markers, are not immutable. If you tell me that woman should not wear pants I'll tell you to fuck off, this is a marker that is waaay outdated. If you tell me man can't wear makeup I'll probe you to understand what makes you think like that... This are trivial examples, but the point is we're talking about dynamic markers that are context dependent and vary in function of the person whose perception we're considering... This is complicated.

Of course some gender marks are also sex marks. Meaning, some parts of what makes someone male or female also makes someone man or woman. Okay, that should not be that shocking, sex and gender are deeply related. It is not coincidence that most people are cis.

And now, for the fun part, let me introduce some definitions of what is a woman, in terms of the criteria one could use to classify something as a woman or not. For the sake of brevity I'll assume we're excluding everything that is nor a human and not an adult. Lastly, up to isomorphism, those definitions are equal.

Female

Someone who bears the anatomy markers that identity them as being of the female sex, is safely a woman. There will be edge cases but those ones we can treat on a case by case basis.

Someone perceived to be female

For all intents and purposes, someone whose only visible markers are ones of a female, is most certainly, a woman. There will be edge cases but those we can treat on a case by case basis.

Some who is perceived to be a woman

Now, detaching finally from the biological criteria, if someone is perceived to be a woman, they are a woman. There will be edge cases...

Someone who wants and is perceived as a woman

Well, for all intents and purposes, if someone wants to be perceived as a woman and succeed in doing so, they are a woman, and now, most of the previous edge cases are no longer an edge case.

Someone who identifies as a woman and is perceived as one

Remember that part of the gender identity having a relationship with wanting to be perceived in an specific gender? Of course there will be edge cases, but then again, in here they'll be fewer.

Now, what if the perception includes the gender identity?

Someone whose gender identity is woman

Now look of what I've done, I'm suppressing two aspects of gender to use only one as a criteria, just as we did with sex. This one is relevant because of the edge cases, in previous definitions, a butch woman whose gender expression and gender roles do not align with woman's was an edge case, now it is not.

Before we continue, you might have a problem with me saying that some of those are equivalent to the others. In specific it might seem that a pulled a fast one by going from perceived femaleness to perceived womanhood, I didn't. In the same way we defined sex in terms of its markers there I'm defining gender in terms of markers here. To be perceived as a woman is to have enough gender markers that indicate that one is a woman for the given context of this one. In a circle of trans positive friends all the necessary markers are the ones associated with the gender identity, so those definitions, in terms of gender perception, are clearly context dependent.

Part 4 - utility of definitions and inclusive language

Now, if we have all those definitions being equivalent to each other, why spend all this time if the first one is good enough? Because some are more useful then others.

Let's start by pointing out that language is mutable, and what we mean by woman changed through the last couple centuries, both in terms of what the word means and what the category women includes and excludes. Any definition of woman that'd include some trans man in a first moment but then we go and say that this buff guy with a harry chest is not actually a woman, he's female but look, he's an edge case...

Let's be honest, this type of ad hoc exclusions and inclusions is what make the definition seem less rigorous. We should choose a definition that minimizes the confusion.

Moreover, definitions can be prescriptive statements, saying "trans woman are woman" is both a description of someones beliefs and a prescription that trans woman should be seen as woman. The definition that we choose to use reflect the world we wish to create.

I, personally, want to create a world where no one has a label forcefully put on them, if a young female do not want to be seen as a woman, let them identify themselves out of womanhood. Let's not invalidate the fact that for this person, their gender identity is other than the one prescribed by the general "adult human female".

Using language so that people don't feel uncomfortable unnecessarily is preferable.

Part 5 - Lying men in dresses

Now, we have one last topic to sort, I'll be brief, if you agreed with all that I have laid until here, there is one last thing I imaging you can argue, what about a man who identify as a woman just to gain access to woman only spaces. That is, of course, the case of, if we're working with the gender identity model, the case of someone lying.

I'll be honest, I cannot see why would a man do this, but I am not one so I can't really tell. All the discomfort of being treat as some gender different of the one you identify as seems a bit too much when there exists alternatives. I won't say it never happens but those are the edge cases.

Then again, why would a man willingly identify himself into receiving misogyny? Well, this seems to me that this should be treated in a case by case basis.

Conclusions

Someone is of the woman gender if their gender identity is woman.

#dadjokeslady #trans #terfs #terfblr #what is a woman #long ass post

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hologramcowboy · 1 year

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I always find it interesting how your feelings towards Jensen come from a strange protectiveness... Like you kinda love him like a mom or something like that. I don’t know how to phrase it but when I read your appreciation posts about him I feel a deep affection, when you are critical of him I feel like it is coming from a mom-like worry for her son not doing good in career or ruining himself in addiction etc. It makes me curious about you, your parasocial relationship with him (I guess I can use this term here) is unique from the normal stans who generally crushes over a celebrity.

I'm touch with his industry so when I pick on things he does wrong it's because I know what works and what does not and my wish is for him to do the things that elevate his career. Which makes extra critical because I know what he could be but he'll never be that because hetakes advice from incompetent people, it seems.

As for him being a celebrity, I have colleagues who are big stars but that doesn't make me react any differently. I look at people's personalities, their hearts, their status is irrelevant to me. Especially since I know a lot of the people placed on pedestals are some of the most toxic people you will ever meet. The image stars craft doesn't always coincide with their real self, I'll just leave it at that.

I feel deep reverance and affection for Jensen for personal reasons I cannot share on this blog. However, I also realize that they way I feel doesn't necessarily reflect when it comes to who he is. In other words, I own and adore my feelings without expecting him to live up to them as lately he seems very different from the gut feelings I have about him. All of my feelings were proven in the past but I guess people change over time, especially when under not so good influences.

This stings my pride but yes, I am deeply protective of Jensen. I think any woman that is in touch with her femininity is influenced greatly by her maternal instinct and that does not extend to just children, it extends to everyone we may deeply care about. It's what makes women unique, they are nurturers. Jensen also shares some qualities in common with me, which also makes me extra protective because I understand the underlying dynamics and how certain things could hurt him.

As for crushing, that's a beautiful and healthy thing to have as long as it does not take away your sense of self, your self worth and your ability to follow your bliss. I love that people love him, nothing makes me happier, but they shouldn't be obsessed to the point of losing out on their own life and goals. Which is what most Jenneel/Jensen fans do. They superseed their live with Jenneel's values and spend their life obsessed with them instead of making their own dreams come true. I know it's a hard pill to swallow but actors are just people, flaws and all, and unless they are your colleagues and you can learn from them, there is little to no point obsessing over them. Even if they were your colleagues, placing them on a pedestal instead of acknowledging that you have all the qualities you need will only block you from achieving your goals. It's perfectly fine to have mentors, I recommend it but the relationship need to be a healthy one.

Appreciation is super healthy and so is inspiration but when you take it to extremes and superseed your life with other people's values instead of your own you lose control over your own life. It truly breaks my heart to see young girls so caught up in their para-social relationship that they are not able to appreciate themselves and follow their dreams because most of their energy goes into worshipping Jensen/Danneel which steals time from their actual goals and dreams.

I sometimes wish I could write a self help book for these girls/boys to get them back into slaying their self branding and goals instead of stuck on regurgitating old Jenneel content or chasing cons instead of investing in classes, projects that make their life. It seems these people have taken para-social relationships and made them the center of their lives and that is endlessly sad. Not only that, they have denaturalized feelings and focus on consuming, objectifying. It's not only a one sided relationship, it's a selfish, entitled, dehumanizing one.

I don't even think I fit in the para-social relationship category because I don't have any relationship with Jensen. Ultimately, he is a stranger and one that is seeming quite off more and more. While, in the past, I was happy to meet him, I'm not sure I could say the same today. However, at an artistic level, I have a deep reverence for everything he represents and could be and I also have an inner image I grew up with that he resembles in incredible ways so much so I often wonder if maybe I saw him somewhere as a child and internalized that image ever since as an ideal.

Thank you for bringing up para-social relationships as it is a key topic within fandom, I wish people had more awareness on this because everything has it's up sides as long as there is balance but once there is lack of it, para-social relationships can become very taxing. This is why I always encourage people, whatever you admire in someone, no matter how big or impossible, get out a piece of paper and ask yourself "When and how have I displayed this exact trait?" and don't stop until you come up with a list of answers. This will allow you to recognize that those qualities you go ga ga over are very much a part of you and you will be able to love people from a centered, balanced place inside instead of placing them on unrealistic pedestals and creating limitations for yourself.

Thank you for sharing your perspective 🥰, I didn't think my nurturing instinct was coming through, neither deep affection, I try to keep my posts as dettached as possible but obviously there is a why behind them and I guess it comes through more than I realized. Being a very proud, private individual, I kinda hate that. lol I will definitely do some inner digging as I'm looking to estinguish those feelings.

Will end this post with one important wish: While it's beautiful people enjoy Jensen/Danneel/etc, I hope they find their own Jensen(or whoever their ideal is) in their real life or become like him/her (if that's what they want) instead of being absorbed by another's life. I hope they get to live their own version of whatever is most perfect to them instead of turning mediocre people into gods. No one should be the god of your life. You can appreciate people without losing self value and without foregoing the importance of your own presence and impact on this world. I wish the same for Jensen, for him to live his highest ideals in every area of his life. We only have one life so let's all live authentically according to our highest values. 💕

#love my anons #anti jenneel #jensen critical

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perspectivestarters · 2 years

Text

Perspective's Sentence Starters; Electra Heart (Part I)

BUBBLEGUM BITCH

"Got a figure like a pin-up."

"Got a figure like a doll."

"Don't care if you think I'm dumb."

"I'm the girl you'd die for."

"I'll chew you up and I'll spit you out."

"That's what young love is all about."

"Pull me closer and kiss me hard."

"I'm gonna pop your bubblegum heart."

"Hit me with your sweet love."

"Steal me with a kiss."

"I'm gonna be your bubblegum bitch."

"Life gave me some lemons so I made some lemonade."

"Baby, here I come."

"I met a boy."

"He made my doll heart light up with joy."

"We fell apart."

"Welcome to the life of (Name)."

"I think I want your American tan."

"I think you're gonna be my biggest fan."

PRIMADONNA

"All I ever wanted was the world."

"I can't help that I need it all."

"The primadonna life, the rise and fall."

"It's always someone else's fault."

"Got you wrapped around my finger, babe."

"You can count on me to misbehave."

"Would you do anything for me?"

"Would you get down on your knees for me?"

"Pop that pretty question right now, baby."

"Beauty queen on a silver screen."

"Living life like I'm in a dream."

"I know I've got a big ego."

"I really don't know why it's such a big deal though."

"I'm sad to the core."

"Every day is a chore."

"When you give, I want more."

"I wanna be adored."

"I'm a Primadonna girl, yeah."

"Take a picture, I'm with the boys."

"Get what I want 'cause I ask for it, not because I'm really that deserving of it."

"In the limelight I want to stay."

"Anything for the crown."

LIES

"You're never gonna love me, so what's the use?"

"What's the point in playing a game you're gonna lose?"

"What's the point in saying you love me like a friend?"

"What's the point in saying it's never gonna end?"

"You're too proud to say that you made a mistake."

"You're a coward till the end."

"Why don't we just pretend?"

"I can't let you go."

"I just want it to be perfect, to believe it's all been worth the fight."

"You only ever touch me in the dark."

"Only in the evening could you give yourself to me."

"The night is your woman, and she'll set you free."

HOMEWRECKER

"Every boyfriend is the one, until otherwise proven."

"The good are never easy, the easy never good."

"It never happens like you think it really should."

"Deception and perfection are wonderful traits."

"You'll find me in the lonely hearts."

"I'm after a brand new start."

"I don't belong to anyone."

"They call me homewrecker."

"Girls and their curls and their gourmet vomit."

"Boys and their toys and their six inch rockets."

"We're all very lovely 'til we get to know each other."

We stop becoming friends and we start becoming lovers."

"I'm only happy when I'm on the run."

"I break a million hearts just for fun."

"I guess you could say that my life's a mess."

"But I'm still looking pretty in this dress."

"I'm the image of deception."

"When everything is life and death, you may feel like there's nothing left."

"Instead of love and trust and laughter, what you get is happy never after."

"Deep down all you want is love."

"We cannot escape the past."

"You and I will never last."

STARRING ROLE

"You're hard to hug, tough to talk to."

"I never fall asleep when you're in my bed."

"All you give me is a heartbeat."

"I've turned into a statue and it makes me feel depressed."

"The only time you open up is when we get undressed."

"You don't love me, big fucking deal."

"I'll never tell you how I feel."

"It almost feels like a joke to play out a part when you are not the starring role in someone else's heart."

"You know I'd rather walk alone than play a supporting role."

"Sometimes I ignore you, so I feel in control."

"Fed up with the fantasies that cover what is wrong."

"Come on, baby, let's just get drunk, forget we don't get on."

"You're like my dad, you'd get on well."

"I send my best regards from Hell."

"I never had a heart to mend."

Before the start began, I always saw the end."

"I wait for you to open up, to give yourself to me."

"Nothing's ever gonna give."

"I'll never set you free."

THE STATE OF DREAMING

"Millions of girls float on that one quote."

"I live my life inside a dream, only waking when I sleep."

"I would sell my sorry soul if I could have it all."

"My life is a play."

"I've been living in the state of dreaming."

"Living in a make-believe land."

"All I really want is to be wonderful."

"People in this town, they can be so cruel."

"If I could sell my sorry soul, I would have it all."

"If only you knew my dear, how I live my life in fear."

"If only you knew my dear, how I know my time is near."

#rp sentence starters #rp sentence meme #rp sentence prompts #sentence starters #sentence meme #sentence prompts #lyric sentence starters #lyric starters #music starters #rp meme #rp memes #rp prompts #ask meme #*mystarters #*eh

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thegreaterlink · 2 years

Text

Reviewing Star Trek TNG - S2E21 “Peak Performance”

THE PREMISE

The Enterprise is ordered by Starfleet Command to participate in simulated combat exercises to prepare for the imminent Borg threat. Renowned Zakdorn strategist Sirna Kolrami (try saying that five times fast) is sent to act as the exercise's observer and mediator.

The combat exercise pits the Enterprise against the far inferior 80-year-old Federation ship USS Hathaway, which Riker will be commanding. He recruits Geordi, Worf and Wesley Crusher as his senior crew, while Picard and the others remain on the Enterprise. Back on the Enterprise, Kolrami expresses doubts over Riker's abilities as a commanding officer, making Picard determined to prove him wrong.

MY REVIEW

I'll admit I wasn't sure about this episode when I first saw the premise. I was convinced that it would be middling at best, and I have never been happier to be proven wrong.

The Hathaway is massively outclassed by the Enterprise, with barely any dilithium crystals and no warp speed capabilities. Most of Riker's story is dedicated to him coordinating his crew in getting it up and running again, proving his effectiveness as a leader. As has been pointed out more than once, if he wasn't so dedicated to the Enterprise then he would make an excellent captain.

Back on the Enterprise, Dr Pulaski persuades Data to challenge Kolrami to a game of Strategema, a game with no clear rules aside from putting on some finger clamps and wriggling them around. It looks cool, but I have no idea what's going on.

When Data loses, he suffers a crisis of confidence and resigns himself to his quarters, convinced he is malfunctioning and that Picard cannot trust his judgement. Both Troi and Pulaski (it's nice to see how much she's softened to him since they first met) are unable to convince him otherwise, but Picard reminds him of his duty and gives us this memorable quote:

"It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not weakness. That is life."

Data's confidence is restored, and we get some nice character moments thrown into the bargain.

In fact, pretty much every character gets their own moment in the spotlight in this episode:

Picard defends Riker's competence to Kolrami, calling his First Officer "the best" multiple times.

Riker coordinates his crew to get an ancient disabled starship up and running in a matter of hours.

Geordi restores warp core stability to a ship from generations prior.

Wesley uses a school experiment involving antimatter to give the Hathaway an edge.

Worf rigs up a holographic projector for the Hathaway to create illusions to throw the Enterprise off.

The simulation begins, and the Hathaway creates a projection of a Romulan warship to distract the Enterprise while it gets its first shots in (all of the damage is simulated, but the computers of both ships are programmed to respond as if it were real) and the Enterprise regroups and prepares to attack.

So, we have a good story, nice character moments for the whole cast and we’re on track for a pretty fun climax. What could go wrong?

Suddenly a Ferengi warship shows up.

When will this series learn that those big-eared little shits just don’t work as villains?

The Ferengi are also limited to static shots against a cheap-looking background along with some pretty bland performances, especially surprising since one of them (I think the one on the left) is played by Armin Shimerman, who you’ll see play one of many more entertaining Ferengi when we get to Deep Space Nine.

Anyway, their arrival creates an unexpected complication, since they're suspicious of two Federations ships attacking each other and conclude that the Hathaway must be valuable, and demand that it be surrendered to them.

But Picard and Riker concoct a risky but ingenious plan for the Enterprise to fire proton torpedoes at the Hathaway, with the Hathaway using their short warp jump (made possible by Wesley's antimatter) to jump to safety an instant before the torpedoes detonate, which works. The Ferengi are convinced that their prize is destroyed, and retreat when Worf tricks them into making them think that another Federation ship is approaching.

Kolrami is forced to eat his words about Riker, and again when Data challenges him to a Strategema rematch and forces him to give up in frustration. Everyone laughs, fade to black, roll credits.

7.5/10 - A surprisingly solid entry. Glad to see this season is finding its footing again towards the end.

Previous Episode | TNG Masterpost | Next Episode

#star trek #star trek tng #star trek the next generation #the next generation #tng #star trek tng review #star trek review #uss enterprise #jean luc picard #will riker #deanna troi #geordi la forge #katherine pulaski #star trek worf #star trek data #ferengi #simulation

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toomanyfandoms02 · 4 years

Text

Evidence // Spencer Reid x Reader

HEY guess who's back. I'm SO SO SO sorry for the delay. I've been having the most SERIOUS case of writers block and I'm finally pulling myself out of it YAYYYY. So here ya go.

Not a request, but I couldn't resist this prompt!

Summary - Spencer and Reader get locked in the evidence room.

Prompt - “What on earth happened in here?"

Word count - 2.9k

Spencer and I often stayed after together to finish up work. We didn't like to have to wake up so early to make touch ups. So here we were, sitting on the floor in the back of the evidence room. We were sat behind tall filing cabinets, a dim lamp lit beside us.

We were working a case in Arizona involving 3 girls. It was running relatively smooth, the problem was that the police station that we were placed at was in the middle of nowhere. And that was proven by the signal warning on my phone.

*unable to send message.*

Good thing it wasn't anything important.

There were multiple pages sprawled out in front of us, we looked between them all.

"I don't think we will have to stay too long after today." I commented. "It looks like we are working pretty fast this time around."

"I guess we're getting the hang of this " Spencer laughed, writing something down.

*click*

I craned my neck around the cabinets, wondering if someone was coming in the door. Seeing no one, I turned back to him, shrugging my shoulders.

We continued for another hour (and 28 minutes by Spencer's count). I stacked the papers together, shutting them in a folder and tucking it under my arm. I stood from my previous position, stretching my back.

"That's enough sitting on a concrete floor for me." I complained, hunching over and dragging myself to the door. This earned a laugh from Spencer. I reached for the knob, eager to get to the hotel and sleep.

But the knob only jiggled.

And jiggled.

And didn't budge.

"Uh. I think, I think the door is locked." I whispered, turning to Spencer slowly.

"No way." He stated, lightly pushing me out of the way. I listened as he jiggled it, desperately trying to turn the door knob. His head was placed against the glass, hands framing his eyes while he looked out the small doors window. "The lights are all off out there. I think they are on night patrol."

"Well this is thrilling." I laughed, slumping onto the floor. I pulled my phone from my pocket, holding it in the air and attempting to call Emily. The call started, my excitement being crushed by a warning on my phone.

*Your call cannot go through at the moment, we are unable to find a signal.*

Well fine then.

"Do you know how to pick a lock?" He asked.

"If there was anyone that knows how to pick a lock, I thought it would be you."

"Why?" His posture looked stiff and offended.

"You know everything." I deadpanned offering a dumb look. He rolled his eyes at this and sat down across from me. "Do you think we'll die in here?" I asked nonchalantly. Spencer squinted his eyes at me.

"Well statistically, no." And that's all he said.

"Is that all you got?"

"I'm too tired to ramble." He groaned. His head was leaned back on a cabinet. "But I will say that on average night patrols and at around 3:30 to 4 am. So we have quite a few hours to kill." The clock on the wall read 11:17. Yeah, we had some time to kill.

"Alright, we aren't just gonna sit here. We are gonna play games, I can't stand to sit in silence." Spencer sat up slightly, flashing me a confused look.

"Like what?"

"We are going to start with would you rather. I'll start." My head started sorting through all of the would you rather questions I had been asked that I loved and found the perfect one for this genius.

"Would you rather lose the ability to read or the ability to speak." I watched as he opened his mouth to answer then closed it, thinking again. I thought this would be a pretty obvious answer for him.

"I think I would lose the ability to speak. I could do nearly everything the same. I would just have to write my findings down." He sat in thought for a moment. "Would you rather have unlimited international first class tickets or never have to pay for food at restaurants?" I was thoroughly surprised by the question.

"That's a good one! I definitely want to travel, but I do eat a lot... First class tickets. I want to see ancient ruins, can't walk to them." I laughed. We played this game for around 10 more minutes before getting extremely bored of it.

"Alright enough of this." I groaned, coming up with a new idea. "We are gonna play two truths and a lie. Pretty straight forward, I'll start and you try to guess which one is a lie." Spencer nodded and waited. "I broke my leg while falling from a tree when I was 9, I've had a crush on someone on the team, and I once ate nerds candy for a whole week when I was 7 and had to get my stomache pumped." The last one had his eyebrows furrowing. I remained still and emotionless so he couldn't read me as well.

"I completely believe that you ate candy for a week and had to get medical attention as a result." He pointed out oh so graciously. "And you're a total klutz too, so it wouldn't surprise me if you broke your leg. Plus I think I'd know if you ever liked someone on the team. Final answer you've never had a crush on anyone on the team." He looked so smug in the moment, this just got me more pumped to wipe that smile from his face.

"Nope." As expected, his face immediately fell.

"Who did you like!" Spencer's arms were flailing in exasperation.

"I don't have to tell you that." I chuckled. "Now you go." My foot kicked his lightly, egging him on. He gave a glare and moved on reluctantly.

"I'm afraid of the dark, the only reason I drink coffee is because I had a crush on a girl who liked it, and I drank 11 cups of coffee one day and was up for 39 hours straight."

"You definitely drink coffee because you like it and not because of a girl, lie." There was no question about it, that would be a dumb reason to drink something.

"Actually that is why I drink coffee."

Huh?

"The lie is that I was up for 39 hours straight, I was only up for 35."

"Christ Spence!" I shook my head in disapproval. "Tell me about the girl." I could see his cheeks flush in the slightest. ~~Silently wishing that I could make him feel like that~~

"Her name was Josephine and she lived on my street. She and I would play chess together in the park whenever I wasn't studying, and she would bring a cup of coffee every day. Eventually, in my own way to impress her, I started bringing coffee too. And she liked that, but of course we drifted apart because of how fast my life was moving. It's unfortunate." He was staring down at his hands now. "You and her are very similar. I think that's why we've gotten so... close." That comment got me very curious.

"How were we alike? If you don't mind me asking."

"She was kind and funny, never let anyone down. And she was intelligent. Not only in personality either, you have the same color hair and eyes. I bet you guys would have gotten along really well." I could see him making his thinking face, I assume he was looking into past memories.

"That's so sweet." I kicked his foot with a smile, bringing him back to reality. "So, last round until we are playing the dreaded truth or dare ooooOooOooOooo." Spencer laughed and rolled his eyes. "I use to have a cat named Piglet because of how obsessed with Winnie the Pooh I was, my first boyfriends name was Spencer, and I play guitar."

"There is absolutely no way your first boyfriends name was Spencer, it's the 828th most popular name. That would be nearly impossible or a crazy coincidence." His hand gestured were out of this world at this point, completely flabbergasted that I would even try to tell him such a *lie*.

"Wrong again pretty boy, that's true. His name was Spencer Allen Sallow. The only reason I remember his middle name is because I remember his initials being 'SAS'. Are you ready for truth or dare?"

"I guess." He mocked annoyance and threw his head back.

"Ok, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"If you could make one wish, right this second, what would it be?" He stared at me intently for a moment, as if he was looking for the answer in me. He then lightly shook his head, it was so small, but hard to miss considering we were practically having a staring contest.

"I would wish for the door to be unlocked so I could sleep at the hotel." His head nodded.

"Boring, I choose dare." I was now sitting much closer to him, waiting for whatever that beautiful brain could come up with. Spencer looked to the papers on the floor and then back at me, an evil smirk forming on his lips.

"Do a snow angel in our paperwork." My shoulders slumped.

"What if I rip something!" I wouldn't usually whine like this but *geez* I did not want to redo all this.

"Just be careful then." I looked at him with a pleading look. "Oh so you're *boring*." That's what got me.

"**Fine!**" I slowly lowered myself onto the papers, flattening out and looking up to Spencer, he was hovering over me slightly in a criss-crossed position with that evil smirk. His hands gestured me on.

I laid my arms and legs and and moved them, hearing the paper scrape against the floor and giggling. I had to admit, it was fun. And if having fun with Spencer meant I had to redo a few papers.

Then so be it.

I sat up after Spencer told me I'm done through fits of laughter, holding his stomache and nearly toppled flat on the floor. I looked around happily to see most papers were only crinkled, not ripped. I'll just have to flatten them out tomorrow.

"Okay asshat, truth or dare." He tapped his chin, looking daring for once.

"Dare." Perfect.

"Serenade me." I crossed my arms over my chest as I watched his face fall.

"With just my voice?"

"Oh no no, I have an instrument, the bag I carry with us on cases is like a never ending bag." I reached into the giant bag and pulled out a ukelele case, but not an *ordinary* uke case, a *mini* uke case. "Can you play ukelele?" I pulled it from the case, handing it over to him.

"No, but I may be able to pick it up."

"So you will actually serenade me!?" I got my hands ready to clap.

"Sure, why not." I clapped infinitely fast, watching him pluck at the strings a bit and lean back into the cabinets. Then he started on a beat, one that I recognized.

"Put your head on my shoulder, hold me in your arms, baby. Squeeze me oh so tight. Show me that you love me too." I listened to him through the whole song, knowing full well that as soon as he was strumming that ukelele I was already done for.

"How did I do?" He strummed the last chord and look up at me with a smile.

Oh how I wanted to tell him that he serenaded me to the sun and back.

"That was amazing! You learned that om the spot?"

"Yeah, like piano. It's basically just math and note remembrance." He shrugged, setting it back in my case. "Truth or dare."

"Truth."

"What's the first thing on your bucket list and your biggest secret?"

"You can't ask two questions, that's cheating!" I laughed.

"You technically never specified that so, answer."

This little shit.

"Fine. The first thing on my bucket list has been the same since I was an 8th grader, which is to fall in love. And I know that's cliche but I'm sticking to it." I didn't want to tell him my biggest secret. Truth be told I had a pretty normal life, so my biggest secret was my attraction to him. After telling my mom about it she told me workplace romances were dangerous and wrong, so I tried so hard to get over it. But it's not going away, it's doing anything but that.

"Come on y/n, I'm not going to judge you for your secret."

Yeah uh huh, sure.

"It's embarrassing, and I would prefer not to tell you in a locked room so I can immediately escape after I tell you. So can I just tell you when the door gets unlocked?"

"It can't be that bad."

"It is."

"Please Y/n!"

"I like you!" His mouth shut quickly, tilting his head like a confused puppy. Now that I had given out my biggest secret, I felt a little... powerful. I crossed my arms firmly over my chest, maintaining eye contact, my heart pounding out of my chest. He wanted the truth and he got it, I hope he's happy to be stuck with me in this room for another hour and a half.

"Really?" Was all he could say.

"No. I just said that I could have awkward tension swirling around the room for the next hour, I love doing that." I replied in the most monotone voice I could muster. A very faint smile was appearing on Spencer's face, making me a little nervous. He quirked one eyebrow.

"Are you sure it's not sexual tension?"

What?

My eyebrows raised at the question. Was he... flirting with me? I didn't know he knew how to do that, let alone so *well*. He began speaking again.

"Truth or dare?"

"It's my turn to ask you."

"Truth. Or. Dare." Who knew Mr. Sweatervest could seem so intimidating.

"Dare."

"I dare you to act on your biggest secret." Is this some weird way to make me kiss him, because it's working. If we aren't on the same page, this is about to get Mega embarrassing, but I don't think this could get any weirder. I crawled forward, placing myself on his lap and staring into his eyes. I've never seen him smile so big.

"Are you sure about this?"

"Actually no, this is awful you should really stop." He deadpanned, lightly placing his hands on my hips.

"One, since when do you use sarcasm. And two, I hate you." I giggled, pulling his face to mine. One of his hands fled to my cheek, rubbing his thumb across it. He pressed further into the kiss, all while pulling me impossibly closer.

Is this real?

I pulled one hand away from his face, putting it on the skin of my thigh and pinching myself.

"Ouch shit!"

And apperantly I don't know my own strength.

"Are you okay?" Spencer's face was a wave of concern, scanning over my face quickly to make sure he didn't do something wrong.

"Yeah I was just, pinching myself to make sure this was real." I lifted my hand to his shoulder, resting it there.

"Why? Is this like a lot of your dreams?" He winking obviously at me as I slapped his chest.

"Please stop." I whined, pulling myself off of his lap. "I'm very tired and we still have an hour left, are you up for a cat nap?" I pulled a blanket from my bag. "We can use this as a pillow, it's already pretty hot in here."

"Definitely." I made it into a pillow, giving him enough room. He slung his arm around me, burying his head in the crook of my neck. "Thank you for telling me. And for the record, I wouldn't want to be locked in a room with anyone else." And with many papers scattered messily around us, we fell asleep.

I shot up, hearing voices I knew all too well.

"What the hell is happening, since when it pretty boy a playboy."

"Finally! Now y/n can stop silently pining and telling me about it."

"I knew those two had chemistry."

I blinked slowly, trying to release the sleep from my eyes. Spencer's sleepy arm was still wrapped around my waist, unmoving. Once my eyes adjusted I was met with the staring eyes of Derek, Garcia and Emily. Then there was Hotch, just entering the room.

“What on earth happened in here?"

"We got locked in here and played some innocent party games." I explained gesturing to the messy papers. "Spencer dared me to make a snow angel in our files." I smiled sheepishly. Spencer was now stirring awake, sitting up and looking at our teammates. Derek held out his hand for a fist bump and Spencer highfived it weakly.

"Told you you would rope her in." He chuckled. I rolled my eyes at the comment and stood up.

"Let's finish up this case. We've only had 1 hour of sleep and I want this day to be over with already. Save the comments for when I'm asleep on the jet." And with that we were off.

But let's not ignore that Spencer and I's hands were clasped beneath every table we sat at that day, it's not to be ignored.

And I won't be forgetting that day any time soon.

#mgg #criminal minds #spencer reid #dr spencer reid #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine

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marshmallowprotection · 3 years

Note

so...I'm someone who kins Saeran very heavily- each different Saeran included, though I tend to lean most into SE Saeran. and for me, Rika is a pretty severe trigger to the point I have to mute her voice in the game & max speed through most her dialogue because I'll end up shaking and getting so angry because she's so similar to who was my main abuser. like. I hate her so much I go into a blind rage just seeing her name and especially when she justifies abusing, drugging, gaslighting, etc. Ray & Saeran in his route.

anyways, because of how angry she makes me, as an mc, I know I'd be outwardly very hostile and aggressive towards her. so I was wondering...if Rika came around in the SE timeline at some point to "apologize" to Saeran (in quotations bc I know she very much plays the victim which is disgusting and don't believe she could be genuine here), how would SE Saeran react to an mc s/o who's normally very timid and quiet being, for her, surprisingly hateful towards Rika?

Ik GE Saeran wouldn't want this bc he has a different way of processing his trauma and how he wants to heal from it. He wants to forgive Rika so he can move forward with mc...but I'm not so sure where I land with how SE Saeran would feel seeing something like that...even as a kinnie lol

SE Saeran isn’t like GE Saeran. He isn’t kind and he isn’t forgiving, per se. He just cannot imagine ever letting go of his frustration and anger because it’s the only thing that he has. He won’t lash out anymore... at least, at Saeyoung or the RFA, nor you. His anger is muted but it exists within him and he knows that it’s okay for him to hold onto it because it’s a reminder that he was hurt and that he needed to know that none of this was a dream or sick joke.

It’s why he hasn’t got his tattoo covered. It’s a reminder to not fall back into the way that he used to be and the way that he doesn’t want to be anymore. He’s not forgiving people and letting go of his anger, he’s not had the same chance in his life that the Saeran in AS has. He wasn’t given a chance to get help before he hit rock bottom and lost himself, and he’s just lucky that he’s able to be here now after Saeyoung yanked him away. Sometimes he feels like he’s trapped in the bunker, and in some ways, it does feel like that.

There’s no agency but their dad is still out there and Saeyoung is rightfully worried. Sometimes he can be smothering about it, but deep down, Saeran gets why he’s like that, but it doesn’t mean he is kind to him all the time. He’s not going out of his way to scream at him and be angry, he’s realized that there is no point in that. It’s not Saeyoung’s fault, no matter what his mind tells him, but it’s not going to be rewritten in a day. He just let everything happened when he was robbed of his choice over and over again.

Everyone always forced him to do what they wanted. Even now, even though Saeyoung has good intentions, he dragged Saeran from the hospital and took him away to protect him, but Saeran would have liked a chance to decide for himself what he wanted. He gets why Saeyoung did it, but that doesn’t mean he’s let go of what it feels like to be forced into something. Saeyoung decided, V decided, and Rika decided. When does he get to decide?

Never?

This plays into his attitude and how he feels about things, and there are points when he can be generally standoffish and overwhelmed with everything as his tired eyes rest on the ground. It’s not worth the energy anymore to lash out at other people, and he’s trying, but it’s so fucking hard.

You were the first person he had ever met that told him it was okay to be angry and that it was okay to be hurt. You were the first person to let him decide what he wanted, you let him pick how you spoke and interacted. You were the first person to let him decide what to do.

From the smallest things to the biggest things, it was always, “Saeran, what do you want to do? Is it okay to ask?” You’re always kind to him. Always so caring for someone that seems to be untainted by the hatred of the world. He likes that about you. He feels a sense of peace when he’s with you. He knows that he can be close to you and feel alright. When he’s with you, it’s like the stormy sea has calmed its flooding waters of his mind.

That being said, he avoids almost everyone in the RFA. Jumin Han reminds him of Jihyun Kim. Yoosung Kim reminds him of Rika Kim. The other two are okay to him but he... feels dread and sick when he’s close to the aforementioned two on this list. It’s not their fault, but their proximity to his triggers is a lot for him to go and deal with. It’s better not be near them in the long run.

He’s admitted to you some of the things that have happened to him over time, but not everything... just enough that you could know how suffocated he feels in this place. You listen to every word and you respect him. You know what’s going on in his head and you always listen and validate his pain. That’s why he likes being close to you. He just never thought that...

Well, let’s just say that he never thought that he would have to deal with Rika again except for his nightmares. There’s not a lot of chances for her to find him and really, if Saeyoung knew, he would never let her get close to his brother, so it would have to happen when he was away from the bunker and away from his twin for this to occur. He feels like he can’t breathe when she finds him, and it feels like he’s slipping into hell.

That’s when you stand up and you quite literally in no uncertain terms tell her to fuck off. He’s ripped from the dread in his gut to stare at you with wide eyes, it’s not every day you see someone so kind become so serious. He can’t find the use of his voice because of what this has triggered, but he can see so-very-clearly how you stand up for him when he doesn’t have the power to do that for himself. Normally, it would upset him to lose that control, but it’s you, and he knows that you don’t pity him.

You respect him.

Because you respect him, you tear into her verbally and let her know that she’s not welcome around Saeran ever again. He doesn’t want to see her and he’s made that clear with you, and you make sure that she knows that. He has no idea how you’ve managed to keep yourself afloat with your anger, every word, every trace, every second, he can hear you tell her what she did was wrong, and how she should be facing punishment for it instead of walking the streets like this. It’s so... brutally honest.

You’re gripping your fist, and for some reason, he’s never respected anyone more in his life.

You’re... using your anger... as a shield.

You’re standing there to protect him using that anger. He never knew that anger could be used like this. Anger was always... a weapon, which Rika made him so he could use it to destroy things and he is still so wrapped within his anger now that it’s hard to untangle himself from it. He felt like his anger was a horrible thing because everyone always wrenched away from him when he lashed out or was honest about his pain.

You’ve shown him that anger isn’t something to be ashamed of. You turn away from that woman, and look at him, asking for his consent to take his hand to get away from that area. Your anger is a virtue. You use it for good. He never knew that it could be used like this.

He never thought he’d see Rika again, and he’d never knew how he would react, but his body is uncomfortable and screaming but you’ve managed to ground him in a storm.

He takes your hand.

And, leaves.

A choice he was never able to make for himself in the past. He is free, he is free and he can make his own choices now, no matter what anyone makes him feel like. You’ve proven that to him. It felt like he was trapped in a haze until that time but... seeing anger used as protection instead of a weapon makes him feel like he has a lot to learn about the world. Even if he breaks down and cries later when he’s alone with you, he knows that you will always respect him and never once judge him.

Because your heart is a sweet place, even with the hum of anger, and he wants to feel safe within it.

#se saeran #saeran #saeran choi #choi saeran #secret ending #ask #anon #mod kait #mm #mysme #mysticmessenger #mystic messenger #character analysis #mystic messenger saeran #saeran mystic messenger #saeran mm #mm saeran #mysme saeran #saeran mysme

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black-widowfics · 3 years

Text

My most used writing Prompts:

(There's a lot)

1. "I love you... baby"

2. "God, you're adorable"

3. "Hey, cutie"

4. "I promise to love you for the rest of my life"

5. "I don't care if you're sick, catching a cold from kissing you is worth it"

6. "You are so perfect"

7. "You're the best part of me"

8. "Stay here with me. Please?"

9. "I'm speechless you're so beautiful"

10. "Aww! You're adorable"

11. "So romantic"

12. "I'll love you until the end of the universe" "haven't we been there before?"

13. "Do you need a hug?"

14. "I love you, my dearest"

15. "Come here, I need to hug you"

16. "When everything's wrong, it's you that makes it right"

17. "You're the one"

18. "Have i ever pointed out how beautiful you are? " "Yes, all the time"

19. "I'm bored" " then why don't we do something more interesting?"

20. Forehead kisses

21. Hand kisses

22. "That tickles!" Kisses

23. Kisses that make them smile

24. Breathless kisses

25. Cheek kisses

26. Nose Kisses

27. "God, i love you" Kisses

28. Kisses that end with laughter

29. Never wanting to pull away kisses

30. Multiple face kisses

31. Big, long kisses

32. Long Awaited Kisses

34. "Finally, you guys kissed" Kisses

35. Goodbye kisses

36. Kisses accompanied by happy tears

37. Kisses accompanied by sad tears

38. Kisses that get interrupted

39. Kisses to distract them from winning

40. "Just woke up" Kisses

41. Excited Kisses

42. Long awaited kisses

43. "I missed you so much" kisses

44. Sneaking up behind them and surprising them kisses

45. Kisses to help them concentrate

46. Kisses as a reward(passed a hard exam, won a game, etc)

47. "No! No! No! Wake up! Please!"

48. "Please don't leave"

49. "... I love you"

50. "You killed someone, do you really think they'll still love you?!"

51. "They were my world, but now they're gone"

52. "I miss you so much, please come back"

53. "I know you're gone, but i feel you here"

54. "Tears are all I see without you"

55. "You're happy, with someone else. And that hurts"

56. "Just leave!"

57. "Promise me you'll live a great life, without me"

58. "I don't need you"

59. "The world is dull without you"

60. "I miss being in your arms"

61. "Get out of my life!"

62. "I don't love you anymore"

63. "Goodnight, i have always loved you "

65. "I may be dying, but please, don't cry over me"

67. "Thank you, for helping me live the greatest life i could"

68. "These tears will never stop falling"

69. "You were so perfect, but now you're gone"

70. "You were so perfect, but now you're moved on"

71. That's the way to break my heart"

72. "You're happy in someone else's arms "

73. "Take me back to the good old days "

74. Billions of people in the world, and I chose you, how stupid was that"

75. "I wish i didn't have to lose you"

76. "I wish you didn't have to lose me "

77. "I wish that could be me "

78. Character A and Character B, sworn enemies, are chosen to prepare the company Christmas Party.

79. Character A's best friend rigs the Secret Santa, because they know Character A has a crush on Character B.

80. Character A's ex will be at the A is attending. Character B poses as A's fiancée.

81. "Don't look at me, I was still dead at the time."

82. "....Aren't you a little young, to be here?"

83. Character A and Character B meet in the ER on Christmas Eve.

84. Character A can't wrap gifts to save their life. Character B is their neighbor and can help.

85. Character A vows to do something nice for a stranger. Character B is that stranger.

86. Character A and Character B both sign up for a Pen Pal project to exchange postcards.

87. Character A and Character B broke up, but now they meet at a _____ party.

88. Character A is stuck working in a coffee shop on Christmas and Character B is the lonely soul spending their whole day there.

89. Character A's little sibling/child wants to meet their favorite celebrity/writer/person for their birthday. Character B is called "birthday present".

90. Character A can't travel to see their family on Christmas, so they invite their grumpy loner neighbor Character B.

91. Character A and Character B compete in (some kind of) house decoration.

92. Character A bakes too many ______ so they share it with Character B.

93. It's Character A's first Christmas since a tragedy.

94. Character A returns to their birth-town for the holidays. Character B is their estranged childhood best friend.

95. Character A is pretending to be their friend's lover for the sake of the friend's family. Character B is said friend's sibling.

96. Character A loses a bet and has to wear_____ . Character B won the bet.

97. Character A owns a _____ store. Character B is looking for a present.

98. Character A doesn't feel the Christmas spirit but Character B, who lives above them, keeps playing Christmas carols really loud.

99. Character A overhears Character B's birthday wish and decides to fulfill it.

100. Character A was planning to leave dramatically after their confession but character B unhooked their batteries when A wasn't looking so I guess they have to talk about it now.

101. Your doomsday device didn't work but it did put me in the hospital so what are you doing in my room?

102. We've been roommates for seven years and we had a fight but you left me a note right after you moved out saying you were in love with me.

103. "If we get out of this mess you and I are going to have a serious talk about the appropriate time for emotional conversations."

104. "According to these screenshots I need to leave the country immediately."

105. Spontaneously confessed to crush while under the influence.

106. Tried to have a conversation with a cardboard cutout after surgery.

107. "That's it I'm never leaving my room again I can't live this one down."

108. Gave a brutally honest opinion and doesn't remember it.

109. "You said you had the best idea ever and then proceeded to write [extremely stupid thing] as a note to yourself."

110. "tried kissing once and it wasn't for us."

111. We make out at parties and clubs so other folks will leave us alone.

112. "Of course I'm in their lap where else am I going to sit?"

113. Their constantly orbiting around each other.

114. "just because YOUR friends aren't affectionate doesn't mean that there's a problem with US".

115. platonic cuddle puddle.

116. Not so platonic cuddle puddle.

117. "So what we go on friend dates, don't make it weird."

118. Always carries the other's favorite snacks.

119. "I thought I told you to stop calling me 'Your Majesty'."

120. "Lower you weapons!"

121. "I...I am not worthy of this crown."

122. "People are fighting– dying for their kingdom! What kind of Ruler would I be if I didn't join them at the front lines?"

123. "You know I am a prince/princess/royal, right?" "Well yes-" "Then do me a favor and stop telling me what to do."

124. "Since when do you know how to wield a sword?"

125. "Go! If this kingdom goes down, then I will go down with it as it's Ruler"

126. "All the fine silks and perfumes in the world won't mask what a pompous jerk you are."

127. "After all this time, you still don't trust me?"

128. "Get me out of this dress!"

129. "Why so serious, Your Highness?"

130. "How does a walk through the gardens sound?"

131. "I do believe I've proven that you are more than a mere guard to me, ______."

132. "This kingdom cannot go on without you! Please, it's time for you to take your rightful place at the throne."

133. "Your Majesty, is that blood on your dress?"

134. "Walk with me, please. I can't stand another second in that room with their intoxicating pride and old perfumes."

135. "At ease, _____, I know I'm safe with you by my side."

136. "I see we're back to 'Your Highness'. "

137. "A moment with you is far more exciting than a lifetime of cheap conversations and corsets."

138. "...is that my crown you're wearing?"

139. "Promise you'll come back to me." "As long as you promise to wait for me."

140. "Let go of me– that is an order!"

141. "Forgive me, my love."

142. "No, no, it looks far better on you than it does me."

143."This is the part where I kiss the extremely beautiful princess, right?"

144. "how could I ever love someone else?"

145. I'm dancing with my demons

146.I just can't imagine how you could be okay now that I'm gone

147. "I wanna fall wide awake"

148. "You tell me it's alright but its not!"

149. "Tell me I'm forgiven... please."

150. "Nobody can save me"

151. "I don't wanna let you down"

152. "Only I can save me"

153. "There's no getting through to you"

154. "You say I can't understand"

155. "When you leave me, where do you go?"

156. "I'm just talking to myself"

157. "Can't you hear me calling you home?"

158. "You keep running like the sky is falling"

159. "I've got a long way to go and a long memory."

160. "If my armor breaks I'll fuse it back together"

161. "Please just don't give up on me"

162. "I know the words we said"

163. "This is not black and white"

164. "I was not mad at you"

165. "If you ever felt invisible, I won't let you feel that now"

166. "You just wanna know you're being heard"

167. "I don't like my mind right now"

168. "There's comfort in the panic"

169. "I drive myself crazy"

170. "Why is everything so heavy?"

171." I'm pretty sure the world is out to get me"

172. "I know I'm not the center of the universe"

173. "I only halfway apologize"

174. "I'll be sorry for now"

175. "Sometimes things refuse to go the way we planned"

176. "There will be a day that you will understand"

177. "After a while you may forget"

178. "I never wanted to say goodbye"

179. "I've never been higher than I was that night"

180. "Now I remember"

181. "I don't know what I want"

182. "Were there signs I ignored?"

183. "Can I help you not to hurt anymore?"

184. "Who cares if one more light goes out in a sky of a million stars?" "I do"

185. "You're angry, and you should be"

186. "It's not fair"

187. "You're gonna hurt someone"

188. "Watch the friends you keep."

189. "Sharp edges have consequences"

190. "Every scar is a story I can tell"

191. "I loved you like a house of cards, and let it fall apart"

192. "It made me who I am"

193. "We all fall down"

194. "We live somehow"

195. "I can't live without you."

196. "You're the only one for me."

197. "I've never loved anyone the way I love you."

198. "The things you do to me..."

199. "You're too good to me."

200. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

201. "You're the most beautiful person I know."

202. "Stay with me... please."

203. "Nothing has ever felt so right."

204. "You don't know how much you do for me just by being there."

205. "I wouldn't want it any other way."

206. "No matter what anyone says, I'll cherish you forever."

207. "You make it so easy to love you."

208. "I want to hold you and never let go."

209. "Kiss me."

210. "My only wish is to see you happy."

211. "You make me a better person."

212. "I love you more than words can express."

213. "Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I just wish you had kept yours to yourself."

214. "I don't know how to tell you this, but yelling at someone to, stop panicking, isn't going to stop them from panicking."

215. "It's not your fault. Sometimes you can do everything right, and things will still go wrong.... This just happened to be one of those times."

216. ".....I'm going to pretend I didn't see that."

217. "Why am I the one who always ends up getting targeted by the creep of the week?!"

218. "Fuck.... I knew I should have bought those light up sneakers."

219. "None of this, seems healthy."

220. "....Should I be concerned?"

221. "I said pass it to me, not 'throw it in my general direction'!"

222. "It is my deep pleasure, to inform you that I am not the one in charge here."

223. "Quick! You hide the equipment, I'll hide the grenades!"

224. "Should I call someone for you?"

225. "Did you take anything?"

226. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

227. "When was the last time you ate anything?"

228. "Can you walk?"

229. "How do you think this will all end?"

230. "Do you need an ambulance?"

231. "Where you crying?"

232. "Should someone help you get home?"

233. "Do you know where you are?"

234. "Can you tell me your name?"

235. "Where do you want me to take you to?"

236. "Do you need my help?"

237. "How do you feel now?"

238. "Can I do anything that would make it better?"

239. "Do you want my jacket?"

240. "Can you let me see your eyes?"

241. "Should I stay a bit longer?"

242. "Will you be alright?"

243. "Do you have someone who can look after you?”

244. “An interesting crossover”

#writing prompt #story prompt #bucky barnes x reader #infinity war #avengers #deadpool #marvel #quotes #sherlock #star wars

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alexhogh7137 · 4 years

Text

The Battle Between Love and Fire-

Ivar the Boneless × Reader

Chapter Thirty-Seven pt. One

Chapter Thirty-Seven pt. Two: The Three Blood Drops

Word Count 3.1k

Warnings: mentions of blood and brutal deaths

The beauty of having dragon's during times like these is that killing is so much easier, isn't it? Just one simple command and your enemy is obliterated into ashes right before your feet. Your three creatures sensed you coming towards them so they alerted themselves and got ready for your command.

"It is time, my loves." They growled, "I want him to suffer as much as possible, and I am sure that you want the same thing. So...come on, let's go get some justice." They leaped their enormous bodies off the ground and landed on the rooftop of Kattegat's kingdom. Ivar's people gasp as they see your dragon's in such a way. Ivar on the other hand, looks up at them with such adoration, like they are his babies like they are yours. You hold your head high as well, however, you feel a sense of uneasiness wash over your entire body from head to toe. There is a voice in your head that kept saying, "something is going to go wrong." Was it a God trying to talk to you or was it your mother trying to tell her daughter that something is bound to happen. I mean, you did dream of something going terribly wrong so was that time, right now? You walk over to Ivar and his proud grin soon fades when he sees the concern in your eyes. Little did you know, White Hair was in the process of unchaining your father.

"Something..I can feel something."

Ivar "Wha-what is it my love, tell me?"

"I..I I It's like I can feel it-" you could not finish before you hear Hvitserk and Ubbe shouting at the top of their lungs and charging towards the both of you. They were on the opposite side of the yard you see, taking care of peasant matters when they saw just what White Hair was doing. You are confused but only for a moment because Ivar was shoved with such force that he fell very hard onto the ground and your father was standing right in front of you. White Hair was the one that pushed Ivar to the ground, you calculated, because he is standing next to him.

White Hair "I am sorry, my queen." You shout 'dracarys' but your dragons didn't flame him in time. Your father pierced your ribcage with none other than the dagger that you saw in your dream. As soon as Ivar looked up, he saw your father holding the dagger that is now inside of your ribcage.

Ivar "NO!"

You look into your father's eyes, he too is barely clinging to life from his own wounds, then he whispers "I told you, you can never defeat me." Ivar took out his dagger and threw it in the old man's heart, right after that, your dragon's obliterated him to ashes.

Hvitserk catches you before you fall to your knees. Luckily for you, he did not pierce your heart. If he did, you would not still be alive. Ubbe does not waste any time before taking out his axe and charging at White Hair for his betrayal. You hear the both of them battling, struggling with each other on the dirt beneath them but all you see is Hvitserk hovering over you.

Hvitserk "Hey, hey, you stay with me! Do you hear me?! Stay with me-"

Ivar "Take her to the Healer! He can heal her wound!" He picks you up off of the ground, three blood droplets drop onto the cold, white snow beneath you as you are being carried.

Hvitserk "I-I coul-couldn't run fast enough I-"

"It wouldn't have changed anything." You stammered. With every breath, you feel cold air burn through your wounded ribcage. You have been stabbed before so this is nothing new. But this time, it was only once and not too deep to where you lost a lot of blood very quickly. Your father was too weak to cause damage like that, but this wound was not pleasant to endure, that is for sure.

The Healer was asleep when Hvitserk came rushing into his tent. That enrages Hvitserk. How could the Healer still be asleep even after hearing all of the commotion outside: your dragons, your peoples shouts and screams, Ubbe and White Hair fighting right outside of his tent.

Hvitserk "WAKE UP!" The Healer jolts awake and finds the prince holding the queen in his arms.

Healer "I-what happ?"

Hvitserk "No time to explain! She is wounded and she needs to be healed!" The Healer takes off your coat and finds one stab wound under your left breast.

Healer "Who did this to you, my queen?"

"Mm my father." You grunt as he applies pressure to the wound. "Hvitserk, where is Ivar?"

Ivar "I am here! I'm here." He crawled into the tent. Why didn't he walk in? Then it clicks, White Hair pushed him. That bastard betrayed his king and queen..for what? Ivar takes your hand in his own and Hvitserk places his on your belly.

"Mm, I'll be fine-"

Ivar "Just breathe okay? We are here."

"I-I should've just let my dragon's kill him before he even had the chance but I had to tell you that-"

Ivar "I know, my sweet. But it's okay, hey, it's okay." You blame yourself for this happening. Why? Because all you had to do was command your dragons as soon as they got close enough, but you stopped to tell Ivar what you were feeling. Maybe this couldn't have been prevented.

Healer "I can heal you in no time-"

Hvitserk "SO DO IT! She is clearly in pain, so what are you waiting for?! Heal her!" The Healer jolts and starts working his magic and by magic, I mean the power of prayer. He places his hands over your wound and prays to the gods in a different language. No one truly knows what he is saying but whatever he did say, worked. Before you knew it, the burning sensation went away and you could breathe with ease.

Healer "Now, just like your past wounds, you will feel pain here in there..my queen."

"I don't care..thank you." He nods, "Ivar.."

Ivar "White Hair is alive." You don't allow him to finish before you rush out of the tents drapes and find your way through the crowd to where Ubbe is holding White Hair by the hair. Hvitserk rushing to you instantly and places his body in between the two of you.

"Why did you do that? Why-why did you..betray us?!" You shouted and then held your healed wound because the pain made you flinch.

White Hair "I..I'm sorry."

"Sorry means nothing. How long have you been Ivar's personal guard, hmm?"

White Hair "as long as he's been king..." He fought to get out.

"Mhm..what did my father offer to you..for you to allow him to attempt to kill me?" He does not answer, he just hangs his head. At this point, Ivar has crawled his way to you, Hvitserk and Ubbe.

Ivar "I will make sure that you will find your end, in the jaws of one of those dragons..do you understand me!?" White Hair began to cry out, pleading for mercy. Ubbe looks down at me, out of breath, with fresh cuts and forming bruises in his face and hands. Torvi comes running out and joins Ubbe's side in moments but Ubbe commands her to go back inside, to which she does.

White Hair "I swear I..I didn't know that he was going to-"

"To what?"

White Hair "To hurt you, my queen."

"You apologized to me seconds before he stabbed me, did you not?"

White Hair "Yes."

Ubbe "Ivar-"

Ivar "Why did you do it?! Why did you betray us?" His hatred soon turned to sadness when he realized his closest ally and friend had betrayed him. "Why us?"

White Hair "He offered me..Wessex." Ivar and you snicker in disbelief.

"You were never going to be the king of Wessex, you fool!"

White Hair "I-I know that-"

Ivar "So you knew that he was lying and you still let him free."

Hvitserk "You broke..my brother's legs and your queen almost lost her life-"

White Hair "It wasn't deep-"

Hvitserk "Any wound can kill a person, White Hair...including this one." He slits White Hair's throat just enough for him to wince out in pain and bleed. He looks down at you and you command Ryuu to land beside you. Ivar orders his people to move out of the way so that he has room to land.

"Everything would have been fine, you know. My father would have died the way that he should have, and everyone could have gone on with their evening. But no, you decided to be a gullible old man and betray your king and queen."

White Hair "Y/n, please." You take one look at Ryuu and he takes White Hair in his jaws and tosses the man in the air like a ragdoll. He leaps off of the ground, with him still in his jaws and flies towards his siblings, where they three tore the man into little pieces for them to feast on later.

When all of you knew for certain that he was too dead, your people came rushing towards you, asking if you were okay. It was all too much for your body.

"Please, I-"

Everyone "My queen, my queen, my queen!?" You take it all in and it rushes to your brain too quickly, making you faint.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you wake, you find Ivar sitting by your bedside with his hands in prayer. You blink until your vision is clear enough to see his features clearly.

"Mm.."

Ivar "Baby?? Hey." He grabs your hand and kisses your knuckles.

"How long was I out?"

Ivar "ehh long enough for the maidens to put my bones in the proper places." He said it with a smile on his face even though he was in immense pain, he did not wish for you to witness that.

"I-you?"

Ivar "When I fell, some of my bones broke. Just like glass on concrete."

"Are you alright?!"

Ivar "Hmm..never better. Want to know why?" You nod, "Because I didn't lose my wife today. For the third time. Th-this-today would have been the third time that I couldn't save you.."

"Ivar-"

Ivar "No..the first time, you were taken away from me as I slept. The second time, you were stabbed multiple times and I almost lost you. And now today.."

"I am strong. Haven't I shown you that much?"

Ivar snickers, "You have proven more than that. But I have noticed that I have made promises to you that I have not been able to keep. And for that, I cannot apologize enough."

"Ivar, he pushed you, he-he broke you! You couldn't have stopped that from happening. No one could have except White Hair..he could have kept the old man in his chains, then none of that would have happened."

Ivar "Hmm, I suppose so."

"I told you that I felt something was going to happen."

Ivar "I know, I believed you. I just couldn't act fast enough."

"None of us could. Not even my dragons."

Ivar sighs and kisses your knuckles once more, "How are you feeling?"

"Like I've been wounded. But she's okay, we're okay." He smiles.

Ivar "Then I am okay."

"Hey.." he looks into your eyes, "Our worries are gone now, aren't they?" He pauses and thinks for a moment and then laughs.

Ivar "Yes. Yes they are. We are free, my love."

"Mmm." You hum and slowly lift your body just enough to kiss your husband for the first time since everything went to hell.

While you and Ivar talk things out, Hvitserk and Ubbe are furious. They are pacing back and forth, trying to wrap their heads around the fact that all of that happened so quickly.

Hvitserk "How could he do that? How could he betray Ivar?!"

Ubbe "I saw it coming, Hvitserk."

Hvitserk "What are you talking about?"

Ubbe "Ivar and I saw White Hair talking to Rollo, alone. He said that our uncle was trying to convince him to join him in some way. But he told us that he would never do such a thing."

Hvitserk "Well he did, just not with our uncle."

Ubbe "You are right."

Hvitserk "I am so tired, Ubbe. Why does everything, EVERYONE that I love and need, end up getting hurt or worse..huh?! Answer me that!" Ubbe walks up to his brother and grabs him by the neck and places his head on his brothers.

Ubbe "I know what happened to Thora..and Margaret. I know that their losses were hard on you, my brother." Hvitserk begins to weep, "But even though you lost them, the gods put Y/n in your life. And now you are going to be a father!"

Hvitserk snickers, "Yes, that is true. But I almost lost her too, didn't I? Three times now, isn't that right Ubbe?" He does not respond, "It is like the gods just love punishing me, don't they?"

Ubbe "Everything happens for a reason, my brother. Even though it is hard to admit to yourself, Y/n had to go through those trials for us to realize that king Harald had to be eliminated, same with that man's wife who I can't even remember her name.." Hvitserk chuckles, "and today with White Hair. The gods showed us their true colors and now they are dead. The threats are long gone, alright?" Hvitserk nods, "We are all safe now. Hmm?"

Hvitserk sniffles, "Yeah."

Torvi "Y/n and your daughter are strong. You have to put faith in them, Hvitserk." He gets up and walks outside to get some air, well the real reason is to get away from people for a moment and be alone with his thoughts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When night falls over Kattegat, it is like the people have forgotten this evening's events and have moved on with their lives. As they should but it was quite odd to you. You suppose they moved on so quickly because you were not on your deathbed. Hvitserk is still very upset about what happened but right now, he is just numb. He doesn't feel happy, he doesn't feel relieved, he just feels numb. His eyes aren't his, his smile is gone and his hands are unsteady. Ivar and you notice and ask to talk privately with him, to which he agrees. So you ask your dragons to blow fire upon a few logs to keep you three warm as you talked outside.

Ivar "Talk."

Hvitserk "About today?"

"Mhm. You are here but you aren't.."

Hvitserk sighs, "I just can't believe I almost..we almost lost you again!"

"You didn't! None of you did! I am right here, we are all here and they are gone."

Ivar "We are free Hvitserk. Every enemy is dead, we can finally breathe."

Hvitserk snickers, "I will never be able to fully breathe-"

"Why?"

Hvitserk "I have too much to worry about, and for. I love too hard and I worry too hard. That is my downfall I suppose. But I've tried changing myself, believe me I have. I tried shrooms, I've tried drinking my fears and worries away but that only brought out my demons."

Ivar "Hvitserk, you are scaring me."

Hvitserk "I am tired of acting like everything is alright. For you, for our people. I-"

"But everything is alright now, Hvitserk. Everyone who has threatened us, people who have hurt me are gone. We can breathe now, okay?"

His eyes fall to the ground so you lift his face with your hands, "Breathe with me, huh? Breathe in...and out." He does so, "In...and out.." he does so and then looks into your eyes. "Yeah..you with me now?" He nods and then smiles, "There you are."

Ivar smiles and wipes away some tears that have dripped from his eyes, "I think that we are in desperate need of a change hmm?"

Hvitserk "Change?"

Ivar "Remember our travel plans, dear brother?"

Hvitserk "Ahh, yes. Of course."

"Novgorod..here we come."

Hvitserk sighs, "Next week-" he picks you up, "We need to rest. All of us."

Ivar "Yes we do." He winces out in pain as soon as he uses his legs to walk, "I could use some rest."

Hvitserk "How about we all go to bed, huh?"

"Mm."

Ivar "You carry her, I'll be in shortly." Hvitserk nods." Once him and his wife are out of sight, he collapses by the fire. His legs gave up on him as he hit the ground. Your dragons witness it all and is worried for him. They love Ivar and they care for him a great deal.

…

When Ivar joins you in bed, he is walking like his bones were not broken only hours before. You are baffled because only minutes ago, he was whimpering in pain just because he was standing upright.

Ivar "Shit.." he looks up and finds Neith blinking at him. "Hey girl.." she blinks and gets closer and closer. Ivar does not flinch however, he knows that she nor the other two would ever harm him. So he lets her sniff his legs and nudges them a slight bit but Ivar does not hollar at her. He just lets her look, soon she does what he did not expect: she licks both of his legs.

"Hey..you-" before he could finish, his pain that he was feeling just vanished. "How..how did you do that?!" She blinks and huffs, "I..thank you. Thank you!" He began to cry from his absolute gratitude and relief. How did she do that, how did she take his pain away? He did not know that they had that power but did you?

"Ivar-"

Ivar "Y/n! Yo-they-Neith took my pain away!"

"She did what?"

Ivar "She licked my legs and, and, and the pain just disappeared." He stammered.

"I can't believe that! That is wonderful, my love."

Ivar "Did you know? Did you know that she could do that?"

"No, I had no idea. That is wonderful..just wonderful!"

Ivar gets into bed, "Now that we know that your dragon is a healer of some sorts, we know that if we ever need her, we have her."

"Yes we do."

Ivar "I love you so much."

"And I love you, my king." He kisses you and you both drift off to sleep. Your mind runs rapid for an hour or two, wondering how you didn't know that she had that ability the entire time. Nonetheless, now you do and it is the best of news. Your little miracle worker saved your husband today and now he is pain free, thanks to her.

@hvitserkmarcosource @youbloodymadgenius @ivarsgoddess @a-mess-of-fandoms @saldelys @heavenly1927 @conaionaru @readsalot73 @herestherealproblem

#alex hogh andersen #hvitserk #vikings #ivar the boneless #ubbe lothbrok #marco ilsoe #the battle between love and fire

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