#i do these purely for the shitty puns/jokes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gay-dorito-dust · 11 months

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This just popped into my head. please can i request headcandons of miles, Hobie, Pavitr (separately) and the reader wearing matching shirts like cute couples

Miles would probably either have those goofy couple shirts that you guys got as a joke but you now wear unironically. Ie: don’t go bacon my heart/ I couldn’t if I fried. (This is purely cuz I love shitty puns)

Or couple shirts where they have a matching small heart embroidered somewhere on the pocket of the shirt/hoodie.

Nothing overly drastic about your relationship, just small, minuscule things that you could incorporate in your every day wears. Kinda like this:

Miles is just an awkward dude who’s trying his best to show you how much he love you, and it definitely shows which never fails in making you smile because he does it so effortlessly that pretty sure he doesn’t know it.

Would he get playfully teased by his mates? Yeah, probably but does he care? Not fucking really because he loved the fact that you were matching in subtle ways. It’s just the way you like them because not everyone needs to know but they do due to how painfully obvious Miles was being.

so much so that it doesn’t take much for anyone to assume that you were together, with or without the matching shirts. They only add to what was already crystal clear to everyone.

Your love with Miles is goofy, clumsy as a newborn deer, subtle, sweet, caring, warm, protective and above all; loyal.

Pavitr is a grade a sucker for matching couple shirts that he probably buys them in bulk, so you’d have new ones to wear throughout the entire week.

One day it’ll be the cheesy ‘my head belongs to him/ my heart belongs to her/him/ them’ couple shirts and then the next day it’ll be the ‘I love’ shirts that he defiantly got personalised to add your names in conjunction to the phrase.

He’s also the type of couple shirts where you have to be stood together for the wording on it to make coherent sense to anyone wanting to read it.

Pavitr also has the couple shirts where they point to one another and say shit like ‘born to love her/him/them’ on it because he always tells you on a daily basis that the moment he met you, he felt as though he was born to love you.

He’s just got so much love for you and wants to show it in any way possible, not caring if it earns you the title of sappiest couple or most loved up couple because in all fairness, what they say was a hundred percent true. Pavitr is a sappy and loved up boy but that was because of you and he hoped that you felt the same towards him.

You do, stop denying it.

Pavitr is unashamed in wearing matching shirts with you. He takes great pride in it and I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s got a fuck ton of pictures of you two doing cute couple shit in your matching couple T-shirts. One might’ve been made into his home/Lock Screen by the end of the day, but is subjective to change because he loved all of them equally and can’t choose between them.

Hobie isn’t the fondest of couple shirts, he probably finds them ridiculous and cringe inducing but if he were to wear to one, he’d probably only wear it as a pyjama set where less eyes can see.

This ain’t in due to any insecurity he might have because Hobie was the definition of what confident in your own skin looked like, he just doesn’t understand why you needed shirts to proclaim your love when he does that already by draping all his limbs over you, publicly kissing you, touching you and the like.

So he’d like to think he’s making it pretty loud and clear that you two were something to one another that transcends the need for labels but again he ain’t against verbally calling you his.

Even then the shirts you’d have would either be a little on the vulgar side because Hobie thought it funny or shirts that are like ‘I don’t do matching shirts’/ ‘but I do.’ Kind of thing.

An example of the aforementioned couple shirt:

However that don’t mean Hobie doesn’t like being called yours -constancy be damed- he’d just prefer it if it wasn’t so blatantly and unabashedly spread out across a marketable t-shirt that anyone can get and that provides no sentimental meaning for either of you.

Now let’s say you’re a wizard on a sewing machine and all things textiles and had made you both a matching couples t-shirt then that’s a completely different case entirely.

For those shirts held sentimental value because you were the one to go out of your way and make them for the both of you and who’s Hobie to reject the change of wearing something you made with your bare hands?

He’d wear it for you and he’d wear the shit out of it because he’s proud of everything you do and would be damned if he let you think otherwise.

A/n: now me, personally. I can not stand matching couple shirts…it rubs me the wrong way. Sure some are cute but you’d never catch me in one. Ever. I respect myself too much. Also I was probably projecting myself onto Hobie just a little.

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rose-void-789 · 6 months

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Man Soriel is so queer. Fandom wise what queer relationship isn't like weirdly hated when anyone does any little analysis on them being potentially cannon. Get it's a really popular ship that people got tired of but man it's the funniest shit so many loved this ship so then people came up with an essay on why they could and would never be a thing and in fact was unhealthy and weird. It's so much funnier to with a good canonical friendship. Like I'm in the mha bakudeku space, it's crazy going from that where stuff is a lot more nuance but still see less people being upset with it then Soriel it's insane. I feel like I'm a time traveler in the trenches day after the war.

People insisting they are just friends and that a relationship will ruin them as if relationships can't just be very good friends who happen to sometimes go on dates sometimes is such a queer ship argument to have. Toby apparently confirmed Sans as AroAce even apparently Toby then said to not use his tweets for this but hey if true this is an actual queer relationship. And honestly, I'm sure after everything with Asgore Toriel is also not that keen on all that.

But can we talk about that because man I stumbled across a post that made me realize these bitches are so queerplatonic. They remind me so much of one of my friend's relationships. They just talking for ages doing flirting through puns to pull each other up. Like yes this is cannon Soriel. The first time they talked though that door they would have been there till the next day if Paps didn't need a night story. On the surface if the post pacifist interactions are anything to go by I'm sure they nabed a house together. Maybe everyone living together but in every ending where Toriel is alive, he always seems to live with her. There such good friends in the surface these two would totally be joking flrting that might turn to actual flirting but no one not even they know yet I don't think they'll go for anyone else. Toriel certainly isn't going after Asgore any time soon and Sans isn't going to go find someone when he's content. They'll be content on the couch watching some shitty comedy joking around cuddling even. They'll go to Grilbys or some random place once a week for some reason and people will just assume that date night for them. They'll see something in the store and buy it for a prank and cause it reminds it of them. They'll get married as a bit or only because of the tax benefit. If Frisk stays with her you know he's secondary guardian on school stuff. These two are just pure fluff with angsty talks they can only understand sprinkled in. Yeah maybe they won't be an a traditional relationship but honestly these two will definitely be in some weird romantic platonic limbo.

#undertale #soriel #Random ramblings #the queerist straight relationship #I know i'm bring up old fandom nonsense but I saw an old post and man I just realized how queer they are #Like man of course I loved queer relationships after this one fighting in the trenches for this was litterly the same thing #does any of this make sense #it's been years and they just pull you back in #seeing old discussions and art is so fun you all especially since you can't do shit about it so you're just watching everything unfold #and you can't get caught up in the moment #I'm having an absolute blast in this fandom even seeing really old stuff I'm so sorry to all of you that were in the peak and just got hate #shouts of the void

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banannabethchase · 4 months

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Talking Nonsense - also on AO3

Yuta's getting kind of sick of Claudio's sex puns, but…if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Alternate title: the five times Claudio nails a stupid sex joke and the one time Yuta did. Title from Nonsense by Sabrina Carpenter.

“Are you actually watching this movie?” Yuta asks, placing a hand on Claudio’s thigh.

Claudio turns to him. “Are you?”

Yuta shakes his head and drops to his knees in front of Claudio. “Not even a little bit.”

Claudio licks his lips and lifts his hips off the couch to shove his sweatpants down. Yuta loves quality time with his man, obviously, but there’s something about the Blackpool sweatpants that makes it impossible for him to be chill. He locks eyes with Claudio as he licks up his hand.

“My goodness,” Claudio says. “Someone’s eager today.”

“Yeah?” Yuta asks. “Well, your fault for those stupid sweatpants.”

Teasing, he strokes Claudio’s cock with the tiniest amount of grip to get Claudio twitching, his breathing speeding up. Fuck around with that oh so perfect heart rate a little. When he’s played enough, he wraps his lips around the head of Claudio’s cock, hovering for a moment before sinking all the way down. Claudio moans. It feels like praise.

Yuta notes, as he bobs on Claudio’s cock, that his practice has been paying off. For Claudio too, he assumes, but for different reasons.

He’s really getting into it when he hears Claudio chuckle. He glances up to meet Claudio’s sparkling eyes.

Claudio reaches down to run his thumb along Yuta’s cheekbone. “You really do suck at this.”

Yuta pulls off of Claudio’s dick. “Excuse me?” he asks. “Your response to me deep throating you is to tell me I suck?”

“Yeah,” Claudio says, and there’s something behind his eyes that tells Yuta he’s about to unleash havoc. “You suck.” He reaches out and wipes some spit from the corner of Yuta’s mouth. “Quite talented at sucking. Get it?”

Yuta groans and flops backward on the hardwood floor. “It was a blowjob pun?” he whines. “That’s what you thought was sexy?”

“I thought it was funny,” Claudio says. Yuta looks over to see him with the giddiest smile on his face. “I find I don’t need to do much to be sexy.”

“So you sabotage yourself,” Yuta says. He gets to his feet. “You’re so hot you pick up shitty dad jokes to make people lose their boners. It’s a disarming technique. I get it.”

Claudio points down to his still impressively hard dick. “It did not make me lose my boner.”

“Fuck off,” Yuta grumbles. He strips off his clothes and walks into Claudio’s bedroom. He shouts behind himself, “I can’t believe I still want you to fuck me.”

Yuta wins another match for the Pure title – he’s losing track of his victories – and Claudio steals him back to the hotel before the taping is even over to go wild on him. Yuta’s riding his cock before he knows it, eyes closed and hands flat on Claudio’s chest.

“Fuck,” Yuta whispers. “You feel so fucking good.”

“Yeah?” Claudio’s tone is interesting. Yuta opens his eyes. Claudio’s gaze sears into him, hands iron vices on Yuta’s thighs. “Tell me more.”

“I love how you fill me,” Yuta breathes, rocking. “I love everything about your cock.”

Claudio’s lips quirk.

“What?”

“I’d tell you a joke about my penis,” Claudio says, and Yuta’s been in this situation too many times not to be on guard, “but I fear you’d think I was being cocky.”

“I’m going to kill you,” Yuta says, swiveling his hips so that Claudio shuts up. His whole dreamy moment is broken, replaced instead with a singular need to come and also maybe make fun of Claudio for the rest of the night. “I’m gonna come, then I’m gonna kill you, and if anybody asks me why I’ll tell them what you just said.”

“Rather violent,” Claudio mumbles.

“We’re the Blackpool Combat Club!” Yuta yells, and he starts rolling on Claudio’s cock harder. “Our whole thing is violence!”

“You seem distressed,” Claudio muses. “Perhaps our typical strategy isn’t working to calm you down.” He sits up and rolls them over, throwing Yuta on his back. “Better?”

“No,” Yuta grumbles, but he does feel better when Claudio slides back inside of him. “A little.”

“Good,” Claudio says, “I always feel better when I’m on top of things.”

Claudio laughs and Yuta comes, and it’s all much funnier than it has any right to be.

“I can’t believe,” Yuta says, first thing when he wakes up, “you made fun of Mox when you were literally inside me last night.” They have matches on Collision tonight so they’re up earlier than he’d like, but he’d prefer to wake up next to Claudio than anywhere else.

Claudio rolls over and kisses Yuta’s forehead. “When would you prefer for me to make fun of Mox? During dinner?”

“Generally, any time we’re not mid-fuck,” Yuta mumbles. “Also, turn off your alarm. It’s awful.”

“It’s hilarious,” Claudio argues, and finally George Michael stops screaming at them to wake him up before they go-go. “And accurate. What better way to wake up?”

“With your mouth on my dick, for one,” Yuta grumbles. He rolls into Claudio’s chest. “Speaking of which –”

“We don’t have time.” Claudio wraps a strong arm around Yuta’s back. “Though I can’t say I’m disinterested. Tonight?”

“Tonight,” Yuta replies.

They dress and hit the gym before heading over to the venue, hitting the showers with a little handsyness until the door swings open.

“Nobody better be fucking in here,” Mox yells. They hear a thud.

Claudio sighs, looking down at where the two of them are rutting against each other.

“Not technically,” Yuta yells, and he rolls his hips again. Claudio moans.

“Technical enough that Swiss is making those weird sex noises.” Yuta only has time to register what the stomping is before Mox rips open the shower curtain.

“Gross,” he says, wrinkling his nose. “You could have at least invited me.”

“You,” Claudio says, “are always late.”

Mox rolls his eyes and pulls off his shirt. “You’re always impatient.”

“You’re always a bitch,” Yuta retorts. He flicks Mox’s nipple.

“Hey!” Mox turns away. “I told you, they’re sensitive.”

Yuta grins at him. “That’s why I did it.”

“Be nice to him,” Claudio says, “he can’t take a joke.”

Yuta snorts.

“What?” Mox asks.

He glances over to Claudio. “Should I tell him the joke from last night?”

“I think that’s a risk you’d be a fool not to take.” Claudio’s eyes are sparkling.

“Mox,” Yuta says, trying to keep a straight face, “what’s the difference between you and a joke?”

Mox frowns. “What?”

“You can take three dicks.”

Mox’s jaw drops. “You really think so?” Now there’s light in his eyes that Yuta sort of hates. “I mean, I’ve been considering it. Bryan brought up something similar a few months ago, but I wasn’t sure who would be the right choice, you know. Are you two offering?”

Claudio laughs, and Yuta wonders where he went so wrong that he’s the butt of this joke.

The three of them do fuck around in the shower, hands and mouths and dicks and laughter, so, at the very least, Yuta gets an orgasm out of it.

“God,” Yuta moans. He arches back against Claudio’s mouth, tempted to bite the pillow. “Claudio, keep going.”

Claudio’s tongue is talented and intentional, fucking in and out of Yuta as his hand grasps Yuta’s cock.

“This is so intense,” Yuta pants.

Claudio pulls back. “It’s intense? I didn’t know we were camping.”

Yuta turns around. “Seriously?”

“You opened the door for that one, love.”

Yuta flops onto his stomach. “Please fuck me so I forget about this conversation.” He hears a click and a chuckle in the background.

“Gladly.”

When Yuta comes back to work after a few weeks off, Claudio doesn’t leave his side for more than a few minutes or a match, hands on him. Yuta’s zinging with anticipation, knowing what awaits him once they’re truly alone.

They fuck wildly, no time for fanfare or foreplay. They start off tangled together, with Claudio’s forehead pressed to Yuta’s as they move together. Yuta’s in Claudio’s lap, rocking against him, surrounded and engulfed by him. They move, shift, until Yuta’s on his back and Claudio is driving into him with single minded intent. When Claudio bites down on the side of his neck, Yuta comes so hard it goes from his belly to his chest.

“You missed me,” Claudio says, leaning down to kiss Yuta.

“Of course I missed you,” Yuta murmurs against his lips.

Claudio chuckles. “No,” he says, “I mean, you missed me.” He points to the mess on Yuta’s belly and his unmussed stomach.

“I – are you making another sex joke?” Yuta drops his head back against the pillow. “Next time I’m going to come all over your face so you at least look as stupid as your jokes are.”

Claudio blinks at him.

“Oh, of course you’re into that,” Yuta says. “Fine. Sure. Next time, I’ll come on your face and tell you I didn’t miss you.”

“I think you’ll find I would enjoy that.”

Yuta comes to the next Dynamite armed. He’d spent a disturbing amount of time on Reddit finding sex puns and being horrified by men as a whole, but had gathered a decent amount of good jokes to interrupt Claudio’s day.

“Hey, babe,” Yuta says, wrapping his arms around the tree trunk of a man in front of him. “What kind of bees produce milk for their young?”

Claudio turns to him, perplexed. “I wouldn’t call honey a milk, quite, but it could be perceived as such. So, I suppose, honey bees.”

“Boo-bees,” Yuta says. The wind is out of his sails now. “Boobies. It’s a sex joke.”

“Ah,” Claudio says, nodding. It feels almost pitying or disappointed. “Sure. Good work, darling.” He turns to kiss Yuta’s cheek. “Anyway. Care to join us for coffee?”

Yuta’s pouty and annoyed the whole afternoon.

Claudio’s straight up pouting as he comes back to the locker room from the ring.

“Oh, cheer up, baby,” Yuta says. “You did great.” It’s not a good moment. But it’s a funny one. “Sometimes life’s like a penis. All of a sudden it gets hard.”

Mox snorts so hard in the corner he chokes, and Bryan has to pound him on the back.

“Christ!” Mox wheezes. “Read the room, man.”

Yuta shrugs. “It was worth a shot.”

“What was worth a shot?” Bryan asks, frowning. “A bad joke with terrible timing?”

“Be kind to him,” Claudio says, yanking Yuta in and giving him a noogie. “He’s terrible at telling jokes.”

“I am not!”

“Your timing,” Claudio says, “is atrocious.”

Claudio goes after him like a starving animal, mouth on Yuta’s like possession and hands digging marks into Yuta’s skin.

“Jeez,” Yuta mumbles. “You missed me. It’s been, like, a week.”

“I always miss you,” Claudio says.

They’re naked in seconds, Claudio’s mouth on Yuta opening him up with fervor and intent.

“Jesus,” Yuta gasps. “I was thinking earlier you wanted to eat me alive, but this feels kind of literal.”

“You’re ready, then,” Claudio says. He flips Yuta onto his back. “Yes?”

“Yeah,” Yuta says. He watches as Claudio slicks up his cock, messier than usual, more frantic and careless as usual. “You okay?”

“I forget,” Claudio says, arranging Yuta’s legs with his arms. His hands are covered in lube, like he was too impatient to be careful. “I forget how much I miss you when you’re not around.” His eyes go soft, gentle. “Are you ready, my love.”

“Always,” Yuta breathes.

They don’t always make love, like this. They don’t always gasp against each other, move slowly, stroke each other’s faces.

It feels almost wrong to ruin it, but Yuta has a plan, and he’s not one to pivot. He readies himself for his masterpiece. The line he’s been saving up for ages. “Sometimes,” he says softly, gazing into Claudio’s eyes, “home is a person.”

“That’s beautiful, Wheeler,” Claudio says. His eyes are fire on Yuta’s, burning with something they’ve said a million times and will say a million more.

“Sometimes home is a person,” Yuta repeats, “because you can come inside.”

Claudio laughs so hard he falls off the bed, curled into a little ball. Yuta grins down at him.

“I got you!” Yuta says. “Hah! I consider this a victory, by the way.”

“You should!” Claudio giggles. He’s beaming when he looks up at Yuta. “That was great!” He wipes at the tears in his eyes and pulls himself back up on the bed. “Did you come up with that on your own?”

Yuta scoffs. “No. The internet has a bunch of good sex puns. I’ve been researching for days.”

Claudio stares at him. “You’ve been researching sex puns to make me laugh for the past few days?” He leans in and cups Yuta’s face in his hands. “Wheeler Yuta, that is the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me.” He leans in and kisses Yuta. “Now. Shall we get back to fucking, or are you,” he presses his lips together, “finished?”

“That one wasn’t even good,” Yuta says. He shoves Claudio on his back and slides back down on him. “That, though. That’s good.”

“I know,” Claudio says, “you’ve said as much. Many times.”

“No need to get cocky about it,” Yuta grumbles. He begins rocking, eyes fluttering shut as Claudio’s cock hits his prostate.

“Cocky about it?” Claudio asks. He grabs Yuta’s hips and helps with the motions, building both of them faster toward their release. “Was that another pun, or a happy accident?”

“Call it whatever you want,” Yuta says. Claudio’s hands, tight on his skin, are the only thing Yuta can focus on other than how good it feels to get fucked by Claudio. “Just get me off.”

“Romantic,” Claudio grumbles. “You could at least be in the moment and pretend you love me.”

“Pretend,” Yuta scoffs. “You’re sulking. How would Bryan and Mox react if they saw you acting all sulky?”

Claudio rolls his eyes. “They would not believe you, as you’re the one who sulks.”

“All four of us do,” Yuta replies. He’s about to add more, but then Claudio’s hand is on him and his brain whites out.

“There you are,” Claudio murmurs. “I love you, Wheeler Yuta. Even when you’re being awful.”

It hurtles at him like a freight train, and Yuta’s coming all over the place, messy and unrelenting, as Claudio fucks him into silence.

“Isn’t it nice to be sweet?” Claudio asks. He shoves up into Yuta one last time, balancing Yuta on strong thighs, and Yuta shivers as the aftershocks run into him alongside Claudio’s come.

“Nice to be a bitch,” Yuta says.” He throws a leg off of Claudio’s hips, flopping with his legs on top of Claudio’s. He shoots Claudio a smile. “I mean, that’s what you and Mox and Bryan taught me to do, right?”

“We taught you to be a little shit,” Claudio replies. He grabs Yuta by the waist and hauls him in.

“Same thing.” Yuta relaxes into Claudio’s chest. “I gotta go shower.”

“You’re almost snoring.”

“Yeah, well, you got me wet, so now I have to get myself wet.”

Claudio laughs. “Another pun attempt?”

“No,” Yuta says. He gets off the bed and walks to the bathroom. “Just a fact.” He tosses a grin over his shoulder. “You coming?”

“Fairly certain I already did.”

Yuta thinks he should just give up.

Mini Playlist: Sex Talk - Kim Petras Moon - The Cab Nonsense - Sabrina Carpenter Feed the Beast - ARIZONA

#This just barely doesn't qualify as crack since Claudio puns so much in real life #wtf i like wrestling now???#in which sara writes #ClaudiYoots #There are shenanigans and sexy times and dumbassery and puns #True chaos.

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whatifyoulivelikethat · 3 years

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counter point, m | jjk

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: You enrage your perfect boyfriend, Jeon Jungkook, by being overtly sexual and inappropriately licking your kitchen counter. Why? Because you can and he's going to get horny regardless. He's going to chase after you with a spoon, so you better run!

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; established relationship; playful banter and shitty jokes; actually low-key crack and fluff; shower smut (fem reader, handjob, thigh riding, nipple play, marking / scratching, fingering, multiple orgasms, one pussy slap); too much wasted water, RIP; non-idol!BTS; the parenthesis are the reader’s inner thoughts; please help Jungkook, he's just trying to eat shaved ice, not pop a boner (he does anyway)

yes, the title is a pun it's the best laid plans couple and they're crackheads no need to read the first one, but it's there if you want more

“Don’t.”

You grinned at your boyfriend (Cheshire-cat-style, but make it sexy).

“Listen to me, do not do it.”

You extended you tongue (lizard-style, still sexy).

Jeon Jungkook, your boyfriend currently making shaved ice, narrowed his dark brown eyes at you and barked your name sharply (angry-mother-scolding-their-child-style, but make it the hottest man on the fucking planet who you were down to get railed by every second of every day). His ash-blond hair flared out around his strong features, adding to his (horny) fury.

He could pretend to be mad, but you knew better.

You licked the kitchen counter.

“Fucking damnnit!”

You cackled as you licked the fallen syrup and ice combination that was on the kitchen counter, slurping up the fallen solider (a valiant fight, but Jungkook had missed the bowl by accident and he deserved an honorable death).

“I told you I was getting a towel!” Jungkook hissed furiously, shaking the white towel with the cute pink bunny character on it. “Don’t be a nasty heathen!”

“What’s nasty about our kitchen counters?” you countered (ey, yeah, see what happened there). “We clean them all the time.”

You leaned down again and licked the counter, pressing your tongue flat against the granite and making Jungkook growl, to which your responded with wiggling your eyebrows. He shook the towel at you again, but didn’t advance.

“Back, you fiend.”

You straightened and grinned, sauntering over to him and the towel he was using like a rosary and you were the demon he was trying to exorcise (he wasn’t pure enough to be a priest, but then again, that might be your fault).

“But I need the towel to clean up the mess,” you chirped, grinning cheerfully as you closed your hand around the cloth, holding it for a little too long, letting your eyes linger on his tense face, taking in his chiseled jaw, shapely lips, and flashing dark brown eyes.

“Stop looking at me like that.”

You smiled.

Ran your tongue over your upper lip.

“Like what?”

Jungkook looked like he wanted to murder you and fuck you.

(Not at the same time; that would be some serial killer shit.)

“Stop fucking teasing me when you’re not gonna do anything,” he grumbled, pouting slightly as you snatched the towel from him and wiped the counter that you had already licked clean.

“Who, me?” you replied innocently, grabbing the sponge to clean off the granite before wiping the spot once more. “I would never, ever tease you, Jungkook.”

He narrowed his eyes at you until they were lines and jammed his spoon into his shaved ice. “You never wanna fuck right after I work out.”

“Speaking of working out.” You pointed to his large bowl of shaved ice covered in syrup. “Should you have sweets right after working out?”

He clicked his tongue. “I drank my protein shake and I’m hot. Leave me alone.” He shoved a large spoonful into his mouth, still glaring.

(Oh, you’re hot, all right.)

“What a coincidence.”

Jungkook’s eyes shifted in suspicion as you spun around him. “Do I wanna know what’s a coincidence…?”

“I’m also hot.”

And you grabbed the bottom of your oversized sweatshirt (it was his) and pulled it up and over your head, leaving you in your underwear. You threw it at Jungkook’s crotch before prancing out of the kitchen.

“Alright, first of all–”

“Lachimolala,” you sang nonsensically, heading off to the bedroom. “I thought you wanted to be alone?”

Jungkook stomped after you, clutching his bowl and still shoving shaved ice in his mouth as he very loudly put in his two cents and pointedly ignored your comments (a skill he developed while dating you, mysterious why that would be).

“I know you’re hot, you’re insanely hot and that’s not fair, and, second, you can’t just take off your clothes and expect me not to follow you, and, three, let me fuck you, damnnit!”

You stuck your head out of the bedroom door and your tongue out of your mouth. “No. You stinky.”

Jungkook looked livid, still holding his spoon and bowl. “Don’t make me put this spoon down, woman.”

“Oh nooooooo, Jungkookie has a spoon, oh nooo!”

“Gimmie those titties! Get your ass over here right now!”

You ran to the bathroom and turned the water on, throwing off your underwear in record time, only for Jungkook to show up and get smacked in the face with your bra and panties (awesome, your aim was improving, all those hours playing FPS games was a sound investment).

Jungkook snarled and shook his head, blond hair flying everywhere, holding his bowl of shaved ice protectively as your underwear scattered around him. He looked ready to scold you, only to freeze and see you standing at the open glass shower door, fully naked.

Grinning.

(Checkmate, he totally wanted to bone you. His shorts were doing nothing to hide his massive tent.)

“See ya.”

And you slunk into the shower and hot water, snapping the door closed behind you, Jungkook fuming and crossing the space in two steps (damn, can you say legs, holy shit) and yanked open the shower door.

“You fucking brat–”

You smirked, water running down your body, tipping your head back to soak your hair, reaching up to slick it back with your tits up. His dark brown eyes ballooned to the size of Dragon Balls (those are pretty big balls, no cap). His shaved ice was rapidly melting from the steam.

A full ten seconds past.

(Kinda cold, bro, please close the door.)

You maintained your smirk, rolling your shoulders to cascade water down your body, down your breasts, dripping off your nipples, curling around the curve of your waist, streaming in rivets across the expanse of your thighs and ass, doing a little half-spin. Jungkook choked a little, eyes completely fixated to your body. You (completely unnecessarily, of course) placed a hand in between your breasts, splaying out your fingers, gliding it down your stomach, making a detour for your hip, sinking your nails into it (his bowl was tipping very dangerously now and the ice was half-gone), curving back to the inside of your thigh and squeezing your thighs around your hand.

(Okay, for real, you can close the door now, Jungkook.)

“Your shaved ice is melting.”

Jungkook started, picking up his jaw off the floor, and whipped his head to his bowl of now sweet ice water. He closed the shower door (finally!) and you breathed out a sigh of relief, finally wiggling under the showerhead to wash away the goosebumps and your frozen tits (you suffered for a good cause, but still), hearing your boyfriend straight-up slurp the rest of his shaved ice (it was practically a drink by now anyway). You pumped some shampoo in your hand and casually started working it into your hair before half-screaming as the door opened again and a very naked, very horny Jungkook invaded your personal space and pinned you against the shower wall.

(You weren’t expecting his speedrun of stripping, that must have been a fucking record!)

You blinked rapidly, trying to swipe the water out of your eyes.

“Jung–”

You didn’t expect to get anything out but you said one syllable before his lips crashed onto yours, spraying water everywhere as he half-entered the raining showerhead (still a bit stinky, tsk tsk), pressing his body against yours, jabbing you with his rock-hard dick (rude). You yelped in his mouth, but he didn’t seem to care (probably thought you deserved it, rude), taking your tongue and sucking on it, making you moan, driving his thigh in between yours and pushing it up, water suddenly gushing onto your heat and then hard muscle, you gasping at the contact, tipping your head back with a soft whimper.

Opening your eyes to a slight sting and Jungkook’s half-wet hair, dark silvery-blond curls around his smirking face, cocking an eyebrow at you.

“Not so high and mighty now, hm?”

(Fuck, he’s so fucking hot.)

Your eye began to sting very badly.

(Shit.)

“There’s shampoo in my eye,” you choked out.

“Oh shi–”

There was a brief intermission of water torture as Jungkook shoved your head under the showerhead and you did the awkward dance of one eye half-open, half-closed, rinsing out the soap residue while holding your breath and trying not to drown (beauty, grace, and blindness, the trifecta, right?). You yanked your head out with a gleeful sucking in of air, pushing your hair away from your forehead.

“Are you okay?” Jungkook asked worriedly.

“Why is no-tears shampoo only for babies?” you complained, wiping your eyes. “Don’t they know horny adults get accosted in the middle of showering sometimes and need that shit? They need to put a warning or I’ll sue.”

He laughed, rich, full, and wonderfully sexy. “I don’t think you’d – ah!”

The second Jungkook let his guard down, you grabbed his dick (sucker), and started pumping him with a flick of your wrist, grinning wildly. He gasped and tried to back up, but you pinned his thigh in between yours and rubbed your slick pussy on his muscle, causing him to sway slightly and plant his hands on the wall beside your head, gasping your name.

“O-oh, fuck…”

You used your other hand to grab his chin and pull him closer, kissing him hungrily, a slightly awkward angle but it didn’t matter because you had him in the palm of your hand now (literally), jacking him off with one and the other stroking his jaw, shuddering at his tongue flitting in your mouth, snaking your own out to meet his, fuck, such soft lips, and he still tasted a little sweet from his icy snack lingering on his tongue. Your hand slid back and cupped his head, fingers in his wet ash-blond hair, rolling your hips on his leg and pumping his swelling length in the other, getting him extra hard again, both of you moaning at the lovely pop of the head being squeezed by your thumb and index, before going right back to furiously kissing as you increased the speed and pressure.

Jungkook always complained about how you never worked out with him, but you always rebutted that said workouts never started because you two were too busy eating face.

(Also, why work out when you can fuck? More fun, more pleasure, less hating yourself as you complete the thirtieth sit-up. Clearly, your boyfriend failed to see the logic.)

“Jungkook, ah…”

One of his strong hands around your waist, arching your back, kissing down your neck, matching your pace with his hips, moaning into your skin, raising his leg even higher as he leaned down to wrap his lips around one of your nipples. Now the angle was really awkward, but you refused to give up, readjusting slightly, faster, harder, his mouth all over you, sucking hard, whimpering your name, your arm burning (and he wondered why you had biceps, sheesh), and you clamped his thigh in between yours, the real pleasure being how Jungkook moaned, throwing his head back, your name tumbling from his lips, so sexy with his dripping blond locks stuck to his cheeks, tendons standing out on his neck with the strain, thrusting into your hand to increase the pleasure and your arm was going to give out any second now but you just couldn’t, not yet.

“So fucking sexy,” you panted, your free hand tracing his jaw, shoving your thumb into his open lips, sinking your nails into his cheek because he was yours, all yours, and he didn’t care if you marked him up, his eyes rolling back, loving your roughness, wanting it. “Cum for me, come on, Jungkook,” you growled, even faster, even harder, thumb pressed into his lolling tongue and he whined, deep and feral, a mixed gargle of your name and pure ecstasy, cock jerking in your hand, spilling out over your thigh and the shower wall, hot sticky strings before being washed away, you dragging his face to yours, removing your thumb to kiss him again, sighing in relief now that you could slow, squeezing his twitching cock, feeling it drip down your fingers and smearing it all over his now-sensitive skin.

“So good, fuck, you’re so good…”

His hands all over your back, running his nails up and down, ravenous, messy kisses. Your hand stilled, arm burning, but somehow it didn’t matter, adrenaline and lust too much, and you wanted to hold him too, snaking your arms around his waist and digging your nails into his broad back, both of you moaning in unison as your ran lines of pleasure across each other’s backs, hips to hips, wet bodies rolling into each other, your drenched pussy on his hard thigh and his spent cock against your soft thigh.

“My arm almost died,” you gasped, his nails raking down to your hips, sinking into your ass.

“Heh, sorry,” Jungkook snickered (you suspected he wasn’t very sorry). “That’s what you get for teasing me.” (And you were right, hmph.) “This is why you should work out.” (This guy…)

You raised an eyebrow. “So I can make you cum in literal seconds? Your funeral.”

He paused, shifting his eyes. He seemed to be mentally struggling with the idea. “You look so fucking hot in workout clothes though,” he pouted, leaning down to press his chin against your breasts.

Uh oh, Jungkook was giving you puppy eyes now.

“I can wear workout clothes without actually working out,” you frowned. “And you never let me work out anyway because you’re too busy ogling me, and then you jump me mid-squat.”

He groaned, kneading your ass in his hands. “Your ass just looks so fucking good in leggings though… and the way your tits bounce, fuck…”

(Hello, Jungkook? You could, maybe, just look at the naked wet body in front of you right now instead of fantasizing about working out. What is your malfunction?)

You yelped as he buried his face into your tits, tongue snaking out and drawing thick, saliva-covered stripes over your breasts that were quickly washed away, whimpers in your throat once you saw the hungry look in his eyes, his pink tongue now circling your nipple, lowering his leg from between yours, your hands flying up to hold his head onto your chest.

“Ah, Jungkook, please…”

His lips closed in and his fingers grazed your slick slit, pressing circles of pleasure into you, leaning your head against the shower wall, back arched to give more to that perfect mouth, moaning his name, his fingertips finding your clit and rubbing it slowly, working you up, sucking your nipple and flicking it with his tongue, waves of pleasure and hot water enveloping you, pushing his wet hair back to look into those dark chocolate orbs, clouded by lust and his desire to make you feel good, already knowing that when you rocked your hips you wanted more, already knowing that when your noises became shallower, more needy, that you needed it harder, closing your eyes, faster, hot and warm from Jungkook and water.

“Yes, fuck, yes, so close, so good, Jungkook, ah, Jungkook!”

You felt the flinch of overwhelming ecstasy, immediately trying to close your legs but he blocked you, planting his thigh between yours to prevent them, your moan turning into a feverish whimper, clutching his shoulders.

“J-Jungkook, w-wait, oh, f-fuck…”

He wasn’t waiting, still stimulating your now throbbing clit, lifting his head to press his lips to yours, whispering hotly, you’re so sexy, so beautiful, I love you to so much, fuck, your brain barely computing language, w-what, oh fuck, yes, don’t stop, Jungkook, I love you, fuck, so good, his soft smile on your open lips as your moaned once more, ramming your hips into his hand, eyes rolling back, pleasure shooting up from your core, and Jungkook’s fingers plunged into your wetness, moaning with you, stuffing you with three because you were so, so wet.

“Fuck my hand, come on, wanna feel you…”

You heard hand (seriously? alright, your funeral, Jungkook), and enclosed your fingers around his now hard-again cock.

“Wait, w-what – ah, fuuuuuuuck…”

Your misinterpretation seemed to be a welcome development, your hips moving on their own, pussy clenching around his fingers, your hand a vice around his hard, swollen length, his hips thrusting into your closed fist, and now both of you just chasing pleasure, wet, loud, and hot, the water adding to the noise, skin on skin, your pussy making embarrassing sucking, squishing sounds paired with the rapid slap of your vicious pumping of his cock, feeling so good it was hard to speak, but it didn’t matter because your lips found his lips, and you could tell by his trembling inhale and soft whimpers that he loved you, and he could tell from your breathless gasps and desperate whines that you loved him, and all that made it more intense, better, sexier, perfect.

Your name in that silvery, needy tone, followed by, “Fuck, I’m gonna cum, fuck!”

His name, followed by, “Shit, me too, fuck!”

(Maybe not your best work, oh well.)

You slapped your hips into his hand, burying his fingers all the way to his knuckles, and groaned, scorching ecstasy overtaking your veins, sparking up your spine and into your head, squeezing your thighs together powerfully, clamping his wrist in your softness. His cock jerked, his gasp in your face as he spilled again, all over your hip and thigh, jamming the throbbing head into your skin and moaning as his orgasm continued spurting out, pulsing, his moan turning into helpless cries as you rubbed the tip on your skin, smearing his cum onto you, his scent so strong you could still smell it despite the water washing it away, loving the way his hard, muscular body felt against you, shivering and vibrating with pleasure, unable to help himself, practically humping your leg to prolong the sensitivity.

Heavy, shuddering breaths.

Water tumbling down, somehow far too hot even though it was getting lukewarm.

(Rest in peace the water bill.)

“Uh… my hand…”

You tensed around it. “I like it here.”

Jungkook narrowed his eyes, frowning. “I’m getting a hand cramp.”

You bit your lip and clenched your core muscles, making him gasp.

“Fuck, I love how tight your pussy can get. Feels like you’re going to break my fingers.”

You relaxed, laughing. “That’d be a fun trip to the emergency room.”

He snickered and leaned in, kissing you softly. “I love you.”

You relaxed your thighs and he pulled his fingers out. “I love you too, Jungkook.”

You squeezed the head of his dick mid-kiss and he slapped your pussy in response, making you gasp.

“Brat.”

(Hello, you two, you’re wasting water… aw, shit, here we go again.)

2021.09.01 - birthday drabble

in which jjk attempts to direct porn and you proceed to clown him until he shuts you up by fucking your brains out well dressed

masterpost

#jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #bts smut #jungkook x you #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x you

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itsclydebitches · 3 years

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I kinda wonder, what could bakugou do (hori write bakugou to do) to make him less popular with the "anti" crowd. Like He was a horrid child no doubt and people who try to put blame on Deku or lessen the terrible shit bakugou did aren't great. But as we don't rly see it, we have to assume bakugous behaviour wasn't stopped, we only ever saw his mum "punishing" him when he was being rude after getting kiddnapped. Nothing will excuse what bakugou did, but he has stopped? He's overall a harsh person but he's not harrassing and bullying people anymore, specifically not deku, he's trying to attone for what he did to deku and has now apologised for it. His behaviour was never viewed as justified or good in the series, he's a scary figure in middle school, we're not meant to like his behaviour, so the series itself hasn't justified his actions.

As someone who relate to both bakugou and deku more than I'd like to admit (never told someone to jump tho, that's fucked lol) so I can 100% understand not liking or even hating bakugou but as someone who's not 15 anymore, looking back I also made a lot of really shitty decisions and like bakugou have tried to make up for it, and like deku I was 'friends' with people who hurt me.

Is there anything he can do for the "antis" to just dislike him rather that be "anti"?

(I'm very sorry if you've talked about this somewhere, you can just tell me to look for it if you have, I'll continue to look for your posts on the subject)

Hey there, anon! I think I’ve spoken about this only tangentially and/or in my main Bakugo meta, which is too big for anyone sane to read. So yeah, let’s chat here!

For me personally—and that’s all I can ever do: speak personally. I think it’s important to keep in mind that there is no single solution to please the “anti” crowd. Each fan will be looking for something slightly different in Bakugo’s character, much of which might contradict what a “stan” is currently enjoying. Given how charged a character he is, I'm not sure it's possible to get the entire fandom to like him—what I’m looking for hinges on having a different reading of the story than you seem to. Meaning, I think the series does justify his behavior. Not in any overt, super obvious way like having all the characters go, “Wow, Bakugo! I sure do love how you threaten people all the time. That’s super cool and heroic!” Things are rarely that straightforward. Rather, it’s in a more subtle, but consistent manner that paints a rather conclusive picture across hundreds of chapters.

Simply put, Bakugo is continually rewarded for his actions. Or, if not outright rewarded, his actions are ignored in a way that implies silent acceptance. Characters may not always like what he does... but they're willing to let it slide because Bakugo's heroism was always treated as a given, not something he had to earn and prove.

With the ever necessary disclaimer that I’m not fully caught up yet, here’s a list of some of the things that stood out to me in the first half of the series:

Bakugo’s bullying made him the most popular kid in school.

Bakugo’s bullying was ignored by/outright supported by the teachers.

Bakugo’s bullying did not hinder him from getting into U.A., one of the most prestigious hero schools around.

Despite acting horribly throughout his time at U.A. too, this behavior was continually ignored by the teachers and other authority figures around him.

Bakugo’s struggle to realize that other people aren’t “trash” doesn’t hurt his achievements in any way. He still gets top scores, still wins the tournament, etc.

Bakugo’s behavior gets him special attention from All Might, the greatest hero and Bakugo’s personal idol.

His behavior doesn’t make others dislike him in any manner that’s taken seriously. Everybody is still willing to not just put up with Bakugo, but—in time—start treating his behavior as a quirk (no pun intended lol) that they’re secretly fond of, rather than something he should legitimately be striving to change. Kirishima is the most overt example of this.

This is compounded by his behavior constantly being framed as humorous. Much like with Mineta’s perverted actions, characters might superficially go, “No, that’s bad!” but the story never demands any significant development because then we’d lose the “joke” of Bakugo screaming in rage at the slightest inconvenience, threatening to murder someone over nothing, constantly belittling everyone around him in a “funny” manner, etc. When fans talk about development of a manga character as archetypal and extreme as Bakugo, most don’t really want to see significant change to his base personality. Because then that would result in someone who doesn’t look like the “real” Bakugo: someone nicer, more even-tempered, more mature, etc. But for those of us who were never drawn to that personality in the first place, the continued acceptance of his rude, egotistical, and violent behavior is discomforting. The easiest comparison I can draw is between this and Bakugo’s mother slapping him. That slap is meant to be another “joke”—we see it constantly in shonen anime, something "humorous" you shouldn’t take too seriously because haha, it's just an overprotective mother—but many fans do take it seriously, using it as the basis for a whole “Bakugo was abused and this explains his behavior” reading. Well, I take the “joke” of Bakugo’s threats and insults seriously, especially in a story that starts with something like telling Izuku to jump off the roof. In the same way that many fans want others to treat Bakugo’s mother as a serious topic that has had a negative influence on his development, I want the series to take Bakugo’s everyday actions seriously as a negative influence on… well, everyone around him. But it doesn’t. His base personality is grudgingly adored.

The above two points are seen most overtly in Izuku, who never wavers in his respect for Bakugo despite how Bakugo treats him. Not just prior to U.A., but during their training too. Izuku, as the protagonist, is the emotional heart of this tale, so when he talks about how inspiring Bakugo is, it encourages the reader to see his behavior as inspiring too. Rather than, as said, something that needs to change. Izuku's continued friendship with Bakugo, his adoration of him, and his acceptance of the way he's treated has severely warped how the entire story sees Bakugo's actions. After all, if #pure Izuku can see the good in Bakugo, why can't everyone else? He must not be that bad after all.

I could get into detailed analyses of all the above—like how Bakugo was the one comforted after attacking Izuku outside the dorms at night and how the messed up relationship he has with Izuku is upheld as something to nurture; how the remedial courses he had to take were made to be rather silly, thereby undermining their supposed importance to his development; how Bakugo’s kidnapping had nothing to do with his flaws, but much of the fandom uses it as a way to dismiss any appropriate consequences because, “Hasn’t he suffered enough?” etc.—but in the interest of keeping this within a readable length, I’ll leave it at that. The point is that Bakugo has always been privileged when it comes to his behavior, resulting in others either outright praising it, ignoring it, or demanding that he change a miniscule bit, which always keeps him far below the standards of both his peers and the expectations of a hero. Everyone in 1-A must learn to be even better than the good people they already are... Bakugo needs to learn that other people aren't dirt at the bottom of his shoes. It's never been a particularly impressive development when pit against the rest of the class. All of which can make something like an apology feel pretty hollow. Yes, he’s apologized and I say with all seriousness that that’s great! But how does that apology stack up against 300+ chapters of content? As Bakugo’s words highlight, he's been a really awful person up "until now": he was consumed by Izuku being “miles ahead of [him],” he “looked down on [him]” because he didn’t have a quirk, he “didn’t want to recognize that,” he “hated that,” “grew distant,” “tried to beat you down,” “opposed you and tried to show my superiority over you,” and ends it all with, “it probably doesn’t mean anything telling you all this” before finally getting to the “I’m sorry.” This is basically a laundry list of how horrible a person Bakugo has been for the entire series, with an acknowledgement that this apology is coming really, really late. This is the moment where I could START to like Bakugo, depending on how he acts form here on out, but that pivotal moment arrived after six years of content and in the final arc of the story. It’s too late. Bakugo needed this kind of self-reflection and positive action 250+ chapters ago so he could (hopefully) grow into a better person across the story, not at the story's end. What we got instead is 322 chapters of him being a really horrible person, but the story going out of its way to excuse or even praise that behavior the majority of the time.

As a quick comparison to end on, I think what Bakugo needed was what Soo Jin got in True Beauty. You don’t need to have seen the drama to follow along. The tl;dr is that she has a lot of the core qualities of Bakugo: an all-consuming drive to win that was created due to abusive parents with high expectations, resulting in her bullying a peer to a pretty horrific extent. The difference between them is how the story frames their actions. When Soo Jin becomes the bully she loses everything. Rather than succeeding academically, her grades plummet, making it clear that this anxiety and self-doubt (things the fandom keeps insisting Bakugo is struggling with, but that rarely ever show up in the text) is actually impacting her day-to-day life. Her best friend drops her because she’s not going to support her choices. The boy she likes rejects her. She’s eventually forced to start over somewhere new - which importantly separates her from the girl she was bullying - and get some distance from her parents, resulting in the growth needed to become a healthier, happier, good person again. So when Soo Jin apologizes to the girl she hurt, it feels earned. The story continually recognized how horrific her actions were and put her into a place where she either had to change, or continue losing at everything else that was important to her. Bakugo? Bakugo doesn’t lose. Oh, he claims he does because he’s comparing himself to Izuku constantly, but that’s just him thinking in extremes. He still wins academically. Still wins many battles. Still wins at having friends. Still wins by maintaining the prestige of being a U.A. student. Still wins by getting All Might’s attention. Still wins by receiving Izuku’s respect and an agreement to maintain this rivalry that Bakugo is so obsessed with. Bakugo comes out well 99% of the time, he just thinks he's "lost" because he can't stand not being the absolute best.

For me, the story needed to have Bakugo face consequences for his behavior, not receive rewards and/or have others ignore it, and that revelation/apology needed to come way, way sooner. For me the issue is not a specific action that Horikoshi can have Bakugo do in the next chapter and them bam, I like him now. The problem is Bakugo’s entire concept, how he’s received by the entire cast, and his run across this entire series. "Entire" is the key word there. Which is why the “But he’s apologized. What more do you antis want?” reactions don’t sit well. What we wanted is a better written redemption arc across those 300+ chapters, not a single scene that’s meant to have us forget all the other problems inherent in the story. At this point it’s a far more complicated situation than, “Bakugo just needs to do X, Y, and Z and then we’re golden.” At the end of the day, Horikoshi failed to make me like him as a person and I’m pretty sure he isn’t going to change Bakugo enough to make him likable to me. Bakugo was never the sort of character I’d be inclined towards without a serious, nuanced redemption arc, but sadly, a core, crucial part of that redemption arc took six years to arrive. At this point there’s no way to change the problems in Bakugo’s writing for that huge chunk of the series and not enough time left in the series, it seems, to do the work we should have seen across the entire run. Honestly, idk if the Bakugo we'll get going forward is someone I can just dislike as opposed to being really uncomfortable with, but my money is on there being too little story left and too much investment in upholding Bakugo's base personality for that to happen. I could absolutely be proven wrong! But I think the problems are structural and needed to be better dealt with from page one, not hastily patched over in the final hour.

#BNHA #My Hero Academia #anti bakugo

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timextoxhajima · 3 years

Text

ATEEZ as things and feelings

@haechanhues don’t mind me just doing it again cause i liked it uwu maybe i should just change to doing headcanons LMAOOOO

as i wrote this, i realised the members of ateez have really cultivated a specific image for themselves (eg. hongjoong as a fashionista, hwa as the mom, yunho has a big bear etc) and so i really hope that these are at least some part of their real identities and it’s not just kq forcing it down their throats ;(

HONGJOONG - BOUTIQUES AND EXPENSIVE CAFES

there’s just something very sophisticated about joong, though he’s absolutely refined and clean-cut (despite that whole jack sparrow get up in their rhythm ta stage)

because he loves fashion and dressing himself up, he can’t tolerate how much you don’t care about the clothes you’re wearing! he knows EXACTLY what would make you look even better and what would totally boost your confidence and so he wouldn’t hesitate to drag you out to a boutique, whether it’s for thrifting or it’s one of those expensive ones like Dior

he’ll spoil you because he can, and because he wants to

he also has a knack for pretty settings, so that expensive cafe down the street that sells mediocre coffee but with a STUNNING exterior? he’ll bring you there just so you can be his photographer and he can be yours

you know when the coffee sucks but he still manages to contain his facial expressions and not hurl? yeah that’s joong being classy

the sophistication needed in everything simple and possibly disastrous

“i know the coffee sucks but look at our instagram now”

SEONGHWA - ROAD TRIPS AND HOME COOKED FOOD

honestly are you an atiny if you don’t agree with this

it’s been about a year since i started stanning ateez and my first impression of hwa is that he’s actually very timid and shy and awkward when it comes to firsts

on stage is a completely different story

so i’d assume he’s probably the same in private, ie he’s aggressive and dedicated when it comes to things he loves to do, but probably a little more timid and worrisome when it comes to people/things he’s not familiar with, but that doesn’t stop him from trying out new things and setting off on an adventure!

you’d be the one to surprise him with an impromptu trip, thinking that he’d be happy to escape but no he worries about clothes, packing, the weather, the itinerary-

it takes you a good amount of energy and convincing to tell him to calm down and that you’ve got every thing down, so he can just busk in the joy of being with you in a completely foreign land

he would also be the kind to try grocery shopping overseas then figure out how to make do with the ingredients

he’s home even when you’re not back in your house

“i made chicken soup with a mix of... whatever that was because the lady said it’s a local delight and that it should go well with chicken-”

YUNHO - OVERSIZED PULLOVERS AND CUDDLES

PLEASE this is self-explanatory no??????????????

a big, giant, fluffy, adorable bear!

it’s literal - as big as his clothes are on you, he acts like them as well - making sure you’re comfortable and warm and you have your own space

i feel like yunho would be the kind that shows care and concern and sometimes he doesn’t really know when to stop, and so he figures out your boundaries just so that you would be comfortable around him

whenever you’re sad or depressed or you just had a shit day, he’ll always be there for you to hug or even vent your anger

sometimes you’d get frustrated with him because he’s too nice at work too and get trampled over and then all your feelings build up and there you have it, he’ll cradle you like a baby and tell you not to waste your feelings on things that don’t really matter

he’ll tell you he’s okay, as long as you’re okay

“please don’t cry, it’ll bloat your face tomorrow morning :(”

YEOSANG - PLAYING AROUND WITH TECH STUFF AND VIDEO GAMES

he’s not the most talkative person, no, but that’s exactly what draws people. he’s always listening, always watching, but never really saying anything, and lucky for you, he says everything when he’s engaged in something he likes

he’s known for his stellar concentration, so it’s no surprise when he’s able to figure out that new tech thing he got and figure it out within the first 10 minutes, thereafter, you take the chance to get him to talk about anything and everything you want him to

he takes awhile to warm up to people, sometimes very mechanical like the things he likes to play with, but when he does, his care is silent

he buys the Bluetooth keyboard you need cause your laptop keyboard is wonky

he buys the cute marvel themed mouse pad cause your current one is peeling

then when you got him that xbox, his competitiveness hopped out like doomsday and he’d trash you on a good day with a lack thereof of mercy when it comes to verbally trashing you

but on some shitty days when he can read your tiredness and frustration, he lets you win

“give me that mouse pad, it’s almost as messed up as you.”

SAN - ABANDONED PLACES AND LIGHTHOUSES

scary on first sight/impression, yet nothing but a place full of memories that was once full of life - that’s san for you

i think he’s very intimidating on stage, which is exactly how many abandoned places are marketed on the media - haunted, ghosts, murderers, weird plants and insects etc, but what about the history of those places before they went to shit?

there’s so much more to it than what you see

adventure, wander and thrill-seeking overwhelms you when he’s around. there’s absolutely nothing to be afraid of.

lighthouses - where you find your way, and that you’ll never get lost

people tend to lose sight of what they love and want in life and san would probably be able to inspire you to get back on track, by the sheer force of his own passion and vision for himself

“run with me and we’ll see the light together!”

MINGI - MISMATCHED OUTINGS AND PLAYFUL TACKLING

ok when i say mismatched outings i mean it in the way that he’d dress up and ask you to dress up BUT you’d find yourself at a cheaper/more coffee-shop like eatery instead of a restaurant

he has fun admiring how pretty you are on the way there, but when he pulls you up to a coffee shop you’re like what? then why did i dress up so nicely for?

mingi knows that you depend on your appearance alot for confidence, so he really wants to see that pride when you’re out with him

lazy pajamas and messy hair are reserved for sleepovers and for days when you don’t really feel like doing much - and of course he’ll be there to comfort you when you need it

i think he’ll find absolute joy in pulling you close and wrapping his longass coat around you on the colder autumn/winter days, and then he’ll ruffle through your hair and you cant run because of his coat and arm wrapped around you

will definitely get judged by passerbys

but like the mismatched outfits x location, he really doesn’t care. it’s the company he cares about. it’s the condition of his company he cares about. it’s the food he cares about. not the reputation, not the pure material of someone’s clothes

“i know i told you to dress pretty but must you outdo me all the time” /insert pouty face/

WOOYOUNG - EXPERIMENTAL COOKING AND PRANK CALLING

omg the noise pollution

‘let’s call yeosang’

‘what for?’

‘just ‘cause’

and you’ll do it on your phone because wooyoung knows yeosang won’t pick it up if it’s from his phone, and so when he does pick up and he hears you say ‘hello’ with the most amount of guilt in your voice, he tells wooyoung to fuck off and hangs up

seonghwa would be your next victim but hwa would stay on the line just so he wouldn’t have to worry about coming back to a burnt down kitchen - not because he thinks wooyoung can’t cook, but because wooyoung gets absolutely distracted with you around and would want to impress you with his culinary skills, which more often than not, backfires

pranks aside, all wooyoung wants to do is to make you laugh or smile and make the time spent with him the most fun and worthwhile

even if it meant getting into trouble with his members, he decides it’s worth the risk if it means he gets to see you happy and full from eating the food he prepares

like his experimental dishes, every joke and bs pun he says is new and never fails to amuse you - even if you don’t actually laugh

you see a new side to him with every passing day and he can be sensitive if he wants to, or completely clown himself if he wanted to as well

“don’t complain about the food! i bothered to cook for you and you complain about it?!”

JONGHO - APPLE PICKING AND PLAYFUL ARM WRESTLING

the one time you let him snap your apple into half cause your teeth hurt and now he snaps all your apples in half and it’s becoming more of a joke over anything else

finally decided to go to an apple orchard for the lols and amuse the people there with his apple breaking skills

you’re extra amused everytime he manages to do it (because how?????) and he adores seeing that on you - you’re honestly not easy to entertain so he’s a simp for when he’s the reason why you are

it came to a point where you got curious how strong he was because he hasn’t revealed one bit of skin ever since you’ve met him

it started out as you actually challenging him, but when you lost with two hands against his one hand, he started teaching you techniques on how to win instead

of course, he’s never let you beat him because he knows it’ll hurt your pride if he does

very, very quiet and subtle care - makes apple juice from the leftover apples he has at home and brings it to school for you

sometimes asks wooyoung to make dried apple chips for you but tells you he bought it cause he doesn’t want you to know he troubled someone

“are the apple chips too sweet? i can buy you another brand”

#kpop #ateez #ateez headcanons #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #atz #seonghwa #seonghwa imagines #seonghwa headcanons #seonghwa scenarios #hongjoong imagines #hongjoong headcanons #hongjoong scenarios #san imagines #choi san #san #san headcanons #kpop headcanons #san scenarios

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sinkix · 4 years

Text

~ Haikyuu!! Boys baking with reader - Ft. Ushijima, Tendou, Oikawa, Hinata & Nishinoya ~

YO! SO UHHHH... I’M BACK??? I GUESS?? MAYBE??? After a little break I had this in my drafts for a while and realllyyy wanted to complete it since it’s such a cute concept. Honestly at this point my posting frequencies are so sporadic and random pls forgive me lmao.

@deathcab4daddy gave me the inspo to include Ushi and it was so funny coming up with ideas for him, he is no.1 country boi chef

Dude I’m listening to the Mario Kart soundtrack ‘Coconut Mall’ while I continue writing this someone save me. Like u think I’m joking. UR WRONG.

Ushijima:

The most straightforward yet idiotic baker you will ever come across.

Before you even THINK about performing step 1, he will read the entire fucking leaflet like it’s a Shakesperean monologue.

INGREDIENTS INCLUDED.

LIKE SIS I DIDN’T NEED TO KNOW IT CONTAINS MONOCALCIUM PHOSPHATE THANK YOU.

I’m surprised he doesn’t count every single particle in the brownie mix.

You bought him a frilly cupcake-printed apron stating ‘best wife’ not expecting him to actually wear it

But since he’s secretly a big softie and treasures anything you buy he wears it proudly.

His stoic and dignified disposition is a comical contrast to the words printed on the front lmao.

Ushi best wifey bro.

The tight fit of the apron is pretty hot since it outlines every ridge of his pecs and tightly toned torso.

Gotta resist groping your mans while stirring the brownie batter.

tbh he’s more likely to grope you, he can’t resist that a$$.

And let’s face it he’s def an ass/thigh kinda guy.

Can and will try to casually initiate some form of unholy activities by lifting you up onto the kitchen counter, goading you to slowly lick the spoon and locking gazes before pulling you in for a deep, open-mouthed kiss to get a taste of the incomplete creation himself.

Ushi’s lips and brownie batter are a knock-out combo js.

Literally has the most serious face when he’s cracking the eggs into the bowl

The amount of concentration is equivalent to that of when he’s performing a serve at match-point.

HAS to set the temperature to the EXACT degree stated on the box

Everything is done by the book if you do one thing out of place he will pull you up on it lol.

“(Y/N) you were supposed to stir it for 5 minutes, not 7.”

When its done you feed him some and he can’t help but smile its so ADORBALE AHHH.

You end up eating most of it since Ushi doesn’t strike me as much of a chocolate/junk food lover.

STILL A VERY FUN BUT F R U S T R A T I N G EXPERIENCE.

Tendou:

The complete opposite of Ushi

Does everything wrong and the unconventional way.

Absolute disaster but doesn’t even sweat it since Tendou basically thrives in chaos and the disorderly.

To him instructions are purely equivocal, will read them for five seconds then toss them away.

Step aside Gordon Ramsey, Chef Tendou is here.

Despite doing everything the unorthodox way it still comes out amazing.

Like??? how???

Will cheekily place a dollop batter on your nose then lick it off fh3jkeffefds

Or if he’s feelin’ a lil freaky, he’ll swipe it off with his long ass finger and make you suck it clean, smirking at your submission as you coat his finger with your saliva.

oop-

Constantly cracking jokes and shitty food puns, pretending to drop the bowl to make you go into preemptive cardiac arrest before you can swat him with the spatula.

While you’re waiting for the timer to ping, Satori being the schemer he is will use this as an opportunity to pull some fuckery and tease you in any way he can.

u better be praying like bodhisattva TanaNoya rn because he is MERCILESS.

Suggestive comments, the brush of his fingers against your thigh, it’ll leave you A C H I N G in frustration by the end of it.

Unholy activities aside, once your baking session is completed you finish it off by feeding PHAT forkfuls of brownie to each other and giggling like dorks when it gets all over your mouth.

The jackass actually got a fingerful and SMEARED it over your cheek and forehead, drawing a little cross and snickering when the crumbs fall onto your nose.

Tendou was smart to draw a cross bc he gonna need jesus with the ATTACK you launch on him after that, which promptly leads to an all out food war in your kitchen that neither of you want to clean up after ward.

Don’t worry though it’s Tendou, he’ll somehow find a way to make such a mundane activity fun.

Nishinoya:

stirs WAY TOO VIOLENTLY

IT’S LIKE AN ELECTRIC WHISK ON OVERDRIVE.

IT WILL SPLATTER OVER THE COUNTER, CUPBOARDS AND EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR WITHIN A 1 MILE RADIUS.

You best believe he will try and eat some of the batter and you have to swat the spoon away from his mouth since he has NO REGARD FOR THE FACT HE COULD GET SALMONELLA.

Plus you know what Noya’s like once he starts eating something the whole thing will be gone in a matter of milliseconds.

He somehow managed to get Baking powder EVERYWHERE and even gave him self a little moustache with it.

The white substance kinda looked like something else but you didn’t really wanna say lmaooo.

could explain why he has so much energy all the time oK ILL STOP-

While you’re putting the mix on the tray he is SO extra and will do fancy lil swirls and over extend his arm like a swan to gracefully spread the batter

until he nearly fucking knocks it over.

During processing time since he is so excitable and impatient you best believe he’s gonna suggest a game of ping pong or something because my guy can well and truly never sit still.

ping pong match with the spatulas, kitchen island and a hard boiled egg.

Pls be careful he will rolling thunder that egg and pimp slap it so hard with the spatula it’ll damn near give you a concussion, not intentionally, but like protect your noggin. Wear a helmet.

For the remaining 5 minutes of baking time y’all just sit like kids in front of the oven and watching it rise like starved hyena’s observing it’s pray before demolishing it into sad particles of cocoa.

And lemme tell u, once the timer pings, that baking tray is free real estate for Noya. Half of your creation will be devoured before you can even put it on a plate and marvel at your handiwork.

He kicked your ass at spatula ping pong btw I’m sorry sweaty but short kings stay winning.

Oikawa:

Such a dramatic bitch like he got the whole she-bang going on.

Strapped with a pink apron, a whisk at his side and standing proudly with both hands on his hips.He is prepared like a greek gladiator going into battle.

You better believe he gonna make some snarky remarks and tease your method of doing things.

“Ah-ah-ahhh (Y/N)-chan you’re doing it all wrong, let me show you how a PRO does it.”

Proceeds to drop entire bowl on his foot and yelp like a little girl in pain.

Well and truly embarrassed with himself, you put a band-aid on his toe and he piped down after that.

Shattered big toe and mixing bowl aside, actually a really good baker??

He is a PRO at decorating, y’all decided on cupcakes since its literally his forte to make them look aesthetic and pretty.

You almost don’t wanna eat them from how good they look.

jk almost

You take it in turns breaking bits off and placing pieces into each others mouth with a loud “aaaaaahhh!”

Places a piece in your mouth, leans forward and locks lips with you in a soft, passionate kiss before pulling away and uttering the words “It tastes even better coming from your mouth ;)”

hnnnNNGGGGGGggGg.

You both whine and bicker over who cleans up after.

“You cleaaannnnn!”

“no Toru YOU clean!”

“but I made the cupcakes look pretty :(”

“not as pretty as you <3″

He did the cleaning after that.

Like just stroke his ego with some compliments and he’s whipped with a smug grin on his face for the next 30 minutes.

You decide to save the rest and bring them to his next practise.

Literally on the verge of tears when he sees you beaming and holding the platter of treats, Kiyotani mauls half of them in a matter of seconds to which Oiks gets salty over LMAO.

Hinata:

So excited oh my god he’s so precious please protect him I will CRY-

Has a little sunflower apron on and JBJKNDDDKDW IM SMILING JUST IMAGINING HIM FIDGETING IN EXCITEMENT OVER THE THOUGHT OF BAKING COOKIES.

Yes you decided on cookies bc he goes rabid for some choc chip biccies.

You have to guide him v carefully because of how easily confused and clumsy he is.

Cannot for the life of him crack the eggs without getting a quarter of the shell in the bowl so you have to do it instead.

Has a surprising amount of strength and forearm power bc holy shit boy can stir FAST.

Hums a little tune while he does it and bobs up and down with a wide grin on his face it’s so adorable, he has such a gentle singing voice I can’t-

Attempts different shapes with the batter when pouring it onto the tray but fails pretty miserably lol.

he tried ok???

Once they’re done he takes the tray out of the oven and since it was heavy, subconsciously propped it with his knee and nearly dropped the entire tray from the pain. (I’ve actually done this before when making chicken nuggets I do not advise being that brain dead)

Had to put some burn cream on the bbies knee :’((

When you decided to dig in, he handed you a cookie that looked like a crooked circle and said he tried to make that one a heart and insisted he feed it to you.

Blushed VERY hard at the moment of silence and intense eye contact while he fed it to you.

Nearly short circuited when his fingers brushed against your lips.

Moe moe x100000000000000000000000000000

You offer to do the cleaning after because he hurt himself and you didn’t wanna make him do any work, but he still offered to wipe the surfaces for you bc he’s an angel <333

literally just wanna marry him.

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akasgisrightsactivist · 3 years

Text

Give Me A Hand

[Atsumu x fem!Reader] [Fluff] [Word count: 3.7k]

You asked him to give you his hand, he asked you to tell him the truth.

A/n: This is a reworked version of the Give Me A Hand fic I posted at ohmythatmiya months ago. I didn’t change the plot, but I edited and changed the wording of several parts. Minor changes, but I think the result is better. I also added a bonus that didn’t exist in the original.

“I need someone to hold the net. Give me a hand, (y/n)-chan?”

Atsumu’s melodic question danced around in the air waiting for your answer.

As the manager of the Inarizaki volleyball team, you were always eager to help the boys in any way they needed. It wasn’t the first time you helped the team hang the net, and the act itself posed no problem to you.

But you had an ongoing competition with Atsumu to see who made the worst joke. Extending your hand, you offered it to him.

You had to.

After a second of confused blinking, Atsumu burst into laughter.

“Ha! You laughed!” You pointed out smugly, another victory to tally up.

Atsumu cleaned a tear at the corner of his eye, sighing in contentment.

“So what? You always laugh at my jokes. I’m still winning the competition, (y/n)-chan.”

You pouted —he wasn’t wrong. So far this week, you’d made him laugh with two jokes, but he had succeeded in his puns at least five times —which Atsumu claimed to actually be six, but you refused to count that one time you almost choked trying to contain your laughter.

He slapped your hand playfully and said:

“Now help me out here, will ya?”

You nodded, hissing at the sting on your hand.

Atsumu had a hard time controlling his strength when it came to you. He was a huge guy and was used to slapping, high-fiving and sharing other physical gestures of victory and encouragement with Osamu and teammates. You knew that Atsumu didn’t intend to hurt you, and he was still trying to measure the difference between your strength, as an average student, and his, as an athletic guy aiming to be a pro player. One of the first times after he joined the volleyball club, he had slapped your back encouragingly only to leave you without breath.

But this time you didn’t say anything, the sting already fading —you knew he was trying to control himself while interacting with you, and also… you loved it when he treated you as another full member of the team, even if you didn’t play volleyball. Other guys were more careful with you, either out of respect because you were a third-year or because they considered you a delicate person when it came to physical strength. However, Atsumu wouldn’t shy away from high-fiving you too when he scored a really good point. Kita thought it was insolent of him to treat a senpai that way, but you secretly loved it, treasuring any attention and physical contact you got from him.

You swore to yourself that wanting his attention had nothing to do with your embarrassing crush on him.

But you’d hate to become one of those girls in the Miya Twins Fanclub who screamed hysterically during every match or who sought the twins’ attention in the corridors between classes. You hated that kind of behavior, maybe because you knew the real twins and their actual personalities instead of idealizing them, so you acted around Atsumu as if his presence in your life had no effect whatsoever, keeping your feelings inside.

You just wished he would see you in the same way you saw him, and you wondered how you could get more physical contact from him —not in the way his teammates did, but ideally in a softer way that didn’t leave the palms of your hands stinging.

You blushed thinking about it.

This was why you had started giving him your hand as a joke, in the hopes that he would somehow take it. But so far your plan had failed.

Your next attempt came at the end of that day’s practice. It was when you were putting the balls away that you asked Atsumu if he could give you a hand.

“Sure. …Why are you pouting, (y/n)-chan?”

He had completely forgotten about the joke, hadn’t he? You had expected him to replicate your joke and hold out his hand to you so that you could shamelessly take it, but he had simply agreed to help you. You didn’t even need any help! This was the first time you’d ever seen Atsumu agreeing to help anyone!

“…nothing,” you finally answered in a low grumble.

“Wha’? What did I do now?!”

“Nothing!”

You couldn’t help acting weird around him now, and he looked at you puzzled at your sudden change of behavior. You couldn’t blame him, but how could you admit your feelings to him? That’d be like losing a challenge! Unacceptable!

The following days you kept flinging the joke at any chance you got, which only made Atsumu increasingly more confused. You noticed how often he asked for your help (“hey, (y/n)-chan, can you hold my bag for a sec?”, “can you help me with this English lesson?”, “take care of my sweater, (y/n)-chan”) and you would force the joke (“yeah, let me give you a hand, Atsumu!”).

Until he had enough of it one day.

“The heck is wrong with you?” Atsumu asked, his lips pressed into a thin line, staring into your eyes in a vain quest for answers as he held a volleyball under his arm.

“Nothing, why?” You laughed nervously.

“You’ve been acting weird. You never repeat your jokes so much. They aren’t even funny anymore!”

“Uh…”

“Let me guess.” Atsumu rubbed his chin. “There’s a guy annoying you, right?”

“What.”

You couldn’t understand what kind of mental juggling had led him to that conclusion, but Atsumu was that way, often following unconventional mental paths.

“You’ve been acting so weird, you only do that when something’s bothering you.”

Since when did this guy notice your behavior with so much accuracy? You felt your stomach tighten.

If you said “yes” you’d be lying to him, but you couldn’t find a better excuse and, of course, telling the truth wasn’t an option.

“Who do I need to fight, (y/n)-chan?”

“There’s… there’s no need to fight anyone, Atsumu.”

Your hands fidgeted, wrinkling the hem of your shirt. You felt utterly ridiculous for taking the joke so far just to get his attention. What were you, five years old? Not even his fangirls would do this!

“You want me to walk you home, then?”

The seriousness in his face made you feel a pang in your chest. You could swear there was a hint of worry in his eyes.

You were so in love with him right now.

It hurt that you couldn’t be with him, that he wouldn’t like you in the same way, that you would never hold hands with him no matter how much you longed to do so… But the opportunity presented itself and you’d be the biggest idiot on earth if you let it pass, so you nodded.

“Yeah, that’d help, I think.”

“Fine,” he replied, and gave it no second thought as he returned to his practice.

You sighed in relief, thanking destiny for finding for you a credible excuse to justify your shitty joke. But immediately the thought of him walking you back home released a horde of butterflies in your stomach.

Don’t ruin this opportunity, you told yourself. Don’t make a fool of yourself.

When practice ended you waited by the gym door, wondering if Atsumu would remember his promise. It wouldn’t be the first time he totally forgot to do something after swearing so vehemently that he would never forget.

After a couple minutes Atsumu joined you at the door, wearing his tracksuit and carrying his heavy bag on the shoulder.

“Let’s not be late, don’t wanna miss my favorite TV show.”

The sun was setting already as the two of you crossed the school gates on your way home.

“Thank you for walking with me.”

“So who’s this guy who’s bothering you?”

Right to the point. You gulped.

“Uh… I’d rather not talk about it, Atsumu.”

“He trying to date you or something?”

You glanced at Atsumu and were shocked to see his eyebrows furrowed. He seemed upset.

“Atsumu?”

“Is he?”

“No, of course not! Who would want to date me anyway?” You laughed nervously, scratching the back of your neck.

Atsumu’s silence surprised you. By the way he pressed his lips, it was clear he was considering whether to say something or not. Right when you gave up on getting an answer from him, Atsumu said:

“There’s this guy in your class who keeps staring at you.”

“Wait, what.”

“Yeah, that idiot who sits by the door, what’s his name.”

“Wait. You’ve noticed him looking at me?” You asked out of pure curiosity. You’d never noticed your classmate staring at you before.

That was when a cough got stuck in Atsumu’s throat.

“I mean…! It’s not like I’m looking at who’s looking at you!”

You were taken aback by the way the underlying angry tone emphasized the hesitation in his voice. He was getting flustered and you couldn’t understand what was going on, but your own nerves didn’t help you deal with the situation either.

There was a long moment of silence in which both of you tried to find what to say next, opening your mouths only to close them again. You felt like you were digging a deeper hole each time you spoke and you were afraid that Atsumu would end up fighting that guy in your class when you hadn’t even noticed he was paying attention to you, so you came to the conclusion that it was better to remain in a careful silence.

Yet there was a voice in your mind calling you a coward for not ending this situation right now and letting it get worse.

“To be honest, Atsumu…” You finally said, bracing yourself for the worst. “I haven’t really noticed if that guy was staring at me,” you admitted, voice low, eyes fixed on the street ahead.

“Well, I have,” he muttered, still angry.

You two kept walking in silence, avoiding each other’s eyes. You could swear he was pouting by the way he stomped his feet as he walked, hands hidden in his pockets.

Atsumu was so difficult to handle sometimes. He got upset at the pettiest things and sometimes it was impossible to find any logic behind his behavior. Right now you didn’t know what to say to calm him down.

“Then who’s bothering you,” he finally asked, so low you almost didn’t hear him.

“No one.”

“But something’s bothering you, (y/n)-chan, I know it.”

He wouldn’t drop the conversation, would he? You sighed heavily and replied:

“I just repeated that shitty joke because I wanted you to hold my hand! To complete the joke!”

Your cheeks burned, maybe from the childishness of your behavior, maybe from the embarrassment of admitting to Atsumu that you had wanted him to hold your hand.

“Duh.”

“I know, I’m lame.”

“No… there’s something bothering you. You looked sad earlier.”

“No way.”

“Yes, you did. When you think nobody’s looking at you, you stop smiling.”

You stopped on your tracks and he walked a couple more steps before noticing that you weren’t following him. He turned to you, his usual smirk missing from his face.

He was right, and that was what truly hurt you. In front of anyone you would be all smiles, all kindness, but when you were alone you’d drop the act. Lately, when you were at the gym supervising the guys’ practice, you would often focus on Atsumu and your brain would immediately get trapped in the loop of thinking how much you liked everything about him and how you couldn’t be with him. It made you so sad, but who would look at you anyway? All the club members were focused on training and the coaches were paying attention to the guys, not to you.

Of course, whenever Atsumu looked your way, you assumed it was a coincidence, that you were just in the way of something that was really catching his attention.

But apparently he was noticing you after all.

“Aww, you’re blushing, (y/n)-chan!”

You jolted, returning to reality. Of course this idiot would take any opportunity to mock you. Feet rushing ahead, you left him behind, but he quickly caught up with you –it wasn’t difficult considering how much longer the stride of his long legs was compared to yours.

“Let me see that sweet face! So cute! Did I make you blush? Are you blushing for me?” His voice got increasingly more teasing and you tried to walk faster, but it was pointless.

“Shut up, Atsumu!”

“Or what? Are you going to hit me? Nah, you’re too cute to do that, Cutie-chan.”

“Stop it!” You tried to hide your face with your hands.

You could never win with this guy, could you?

“At first I thought you were sad because you’d gotten bad grades, but your results have been good lately. So I thought that guy in your class was annoying you. But that isn’t the case either, so what? What’s making you so sad?”

“It’s nothing.”

“You’re in love. It has to be that.”

“Shut up!”

Atsumu knew you well. It was something you loved and hated from him at the same time. He was clever, and it didn’t help how predictable you were. Atsumu never had a problem guessing what was going on inside your mind, which could get troublesome at times.

“You always feel so down when you like someone. You’ll be like ‘he will never like me back! My life is a disgrace!’”

“That’s not true!” You argued. You’d been through a couple of short-lived crushes in the past two years and Atsumu had been a witness to your complaints, always giving you bad advice about what to do, being as inept as he was in matters of love.

“It doesn’t help that you’re so unlucky and never attract anyone.”

“That was a low blow, Atsumu…”

“So who’s the lucky guy?”

You glanced at him. Expecting a smirk, you instead found a soft smile. He raised his eyebrows to emphasize his question.

“It doesn’t matter.” You lowered your chin and hid your hands inside your coat’s pockets. “It’s not like it’s gonna happen.”

“Aw, come on, don’t be like that! You don’t know!”

“I will die alone and surrounded by cats,” you grunted, and now you were the one stomping.

“You want some advice?” Atsumu asked, stretching his arms over his head. His back cracked.

“Nah, your advice is the worst. You made me look ridiculous in front of my last crush, in case you’ve forgotten.”

He narrowed his eyes cunningly.

“That was on purpose.”

“The heck?!”

“I hated the guy. He wasn’t a good match for you.”

“Atsumu!”

He was painfully right, though. That last guy had seemed so nice at first, but you’d ruined your friendship with him after an embarrassing confession and you had realized how much of an idiot the guy was. Atsumu had warned you plenty of times that he didn’t like the guy for you but you had ignored him, blind from the love haze that had taken hold of your brain.

Now you understood why Atsumu had given you such bad advice, misleading you and causing the failed confession. And you, naïve as you were, had followed his indications without a second thought.

“You’re a—”

“—a fucking asshole, I know. So, who’s this guy? I’ll give you good advice if I actually like him for you.”

“No way. I’ll never tell you. You’ll ruin it.”

It was the best excuse you could think of to avoid saying the truth because you had always told him about your crushes before, and it would be suspicious if you didn’t tell him now.

“Is he handsome?”

“Very handsome,” you answered as casually as you could manage, when deep inside you just wanted to scream for hours about how much you liked every physical feature of his.

“Then you must be thinking you don’t stand a chance,” he teased you.

“I wouldn’t stand a chance anyway. He’s handsome and popular.”

“Ah, but that’s not the only thing you like about him. You’re always like ‘oh, I love his personality’,” he mocked your voiced.

“Nah, his personality is shitty.”

You couldn’t control yourself. You didn’t really believe that, but sometimes he got on your nerves.

Atsumu’s smirk widened.

“You should confess, (y/n)-chan.”

“Nah. I’m tired of confessing and looking ridiculous.”

“So you’re gonna let an opportunity pass just like that?”

“There’s no opportunity in the first place.”

“You’re the worst sometimes, (y/n)-chan,” he muttered.

“Excuse me?!”

“And now you’ll be so sappy, talking all the time about how much you want to be with him and kiss him and all that disgusting stuff,” he replied, his teasing tone back.

You groaned.

“I just wanna hold his hand, that’s all,” you mumbled, and immediately regretted saying it. What if he had heard you? What if he realized that the joke had always been about this?

What if he realized he was your crush?

But he didn’t say anything else. Silence returned to stay between you like a thick wall, and you walked with your head downcast and a feeling of regret and shame growing bigger inside you until it made your stomach hurt.

Worst case scenario, if Atsumu learned that you liked him, he would mock you to no end in front of everyone. He would have no shame to make you feel like shit in public just to get a good laugh. Or even worse, he would stop talking to you altogether. How would you even keep your role as manager in the team if he hated you? How would…?

“Waaaaait. Dude, is that drink new?” Atsumu said.

You were right in front of the convenience store in your neighborhood, and since Atsumu lived in a different direction, he didn’t frequent this particular store that was so well-known to you. He gaped at the window full of drinks and sweets and it dawned on you that the store nearest to Atsumu’s house was less visually attractive. Like a kid in front of a colorful screen, he admired the display, his mouth wide open.

“Come’ere, (y/n)-chan,” he said.

You were about to follow him unquestioningly when you noticed his fingers wrapping around your hand and gently pulling you in his direction.

On the outside, as you two went into the store, you seemed a perfectly calm and collected high-school third-year following his friend into the building to check out a drink.

On the inside, you had stopped being aware of your surroundings, and you were mentally screaming and feeling like a human version of a computer breaking down and going into full blue-screen-of-death mode. The only thing keeping you in touch with reality was Atsumu’s hand, warm and reassuring, even if the skin in his fingers felt somewhat dry and rough after being punished practice after practice.

But you loved it just like that. You loved his experienced and calloused hands, and how comforting they felt. This was a new experience that you committed to memory.

“It’s cherry flavored!”

His excited, almost childish voice brought you back to the sober and unromantic reality of a neighborhood convenience store. You were sure you had forgotten how to breathe in the last half minute.

“You… buy that… gonna. Buy,” you babbled, and it wasn’t physically possible for your cheeks to be even redder anymore.

Atsumu mocked your babble and you laughed hysterically.

“And that makes seven times you laugh at my jokes this week.”

“Shaddap,” you said, still speaking incoherently.

“You want one too?” He said, holding the can of soda in front of your eyes.

“No. Yes.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

He walked you to the cash register and you noticed he was skillfully holding both cans with a single hand because he was still holding yours with the other. He found some money in his pocket and paid for the drinks, never mentioning that you should pay yours.

You took the can and Atsumu guided you outside the store and back to your house, not letting your hand go at any moment. You two didn’t talk, and you didn’t even bother to open the can to drink it, or that would mean letting go of his hand.

Two streets later you arrived to your house, and you had no choice but to stop holding his hand to find your keys, open the door and say goodbye. It took you two tries to fit the key inside the keyhole because your hands were shaking so much, and you heard the pop of Atsumu’s soda can opening behind you. When the door finally opened and you turned around to say goodbye to him, he was taking a sip but his eyes were fixed on you, analyzing you with curiosity.

“Thank you, Atsumu.”

“You already thanked me earlier, silly.”

“Yeah. Anyway. For the drink too.”

“Wait, aren’t you gonna pay for it?”

Flustered, your heat beating like mad from embarrassment, you immediately babbled an apology, but he burst into laughter.

“Just kidding, (y/n)-chan.”

You sighed in relief. A friendship with this guy was a constant rollercoaster, and you were sure you were training your heart like an athlete just from the many scares and embarrassing moments that this guy put you through.

At least you never got bored with him.

“Maybe one day you’ll hold hands with your crush. For now, you’re gonna have to do with just me.” He took another sip, this time only to pretend to be a cool guy.

You smiled fondly. When he lowered the drink from his lips, you noticed an upward curve on the corner of his mouth.

“Enjoy your drink, (y/n)-chan. See you tomorrow.”

“Rest well, Atsumu.”

His steps echoed as he walked away from your house and you forgot for a full minute that the door was already open next to you.

For now, you’re gonna have to do with just me.

You almost choked on a giggle. If only he knew.

BONUS

“Dude, ‘Samu, (y/n) has a crush on me.”

Atsumu kicked his socks away, falling in the messy pile of clothes that kept growing at the corner of their shared bedroom.

“You wished she did,” Osamu replied, words muddied by the snack he was munching.

“’Samu!”

#miya atsumu x reader #miya atsumu #atsumu miya x reader #atsumu miya #if you read the original you can skip this but if you can reblog/share i'd appreciate the boost a lot! (if you liked the original ofcourse)

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silentsockfeet · 3 years

Note

top 5 favorite photomodes you've created or top 5 dad jokes

i mean i gotta do both you can’t just make me choose smh

anyways it goes under the cut bc it got long bc i got lazy and just posted my fav photos instead of trying to hunt down the links to the posts they’re in

okay so bit of a disclaimer i definitely stole a couple shitty puns from ellie’s joke book ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it’s a gold mine

1) i walked into my sister’s room and there was a bra on the floor. i’m pretty sure it was a booby trap

2) i used to know a guy who wanted to learn how to juggle but he didn’t have the balls to do it

3) why couldn’t the chameleon change colors? he had a-reptile dysfunction

4) what kind of exercise do lazy people do? diddly squats

5) and one of my favorites, created by yours truly: if lions were cannibalistic they’d have to swallow their pride

and now for the photos (sticking to just tlou2, although there’s a couple i’ve taken from other games i really love) (in no particular order)

i don’t take action shots much but the forest is so good for it, i was real proud of how this one came out

dina my beloved. i’m never gonna get as good a shot as this again. pure fuckin luck is what this one was

another shot that felt like pure luck. those are always my favorites, the ones i don’t start out envisioning but just sort of stumble upon while i’m messing around. they always feel more special

lev my boy i was so proud of this one. i loved the way the light silhouettes him here

and of course i have to include this one. it just has a special place in my heart. i consider this one the epitome of pure dumb luck because it really was just a convergence of so many things happening at just the right time

anyways thanks for the ask bud, i really loved this one for obvious reasons 🥲

#q&a #dissonantdreamer #ask games

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clonesandmoans · 4 years

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I honestly want to know what your headcannons for Wrecker would be. (There's so little content for him and I'm kind of deprived.)

Y E S I LOVE THIS MAN SO MUCH!!! and sorry, i kinda got very carried away with my love for this man so enjoy this dumpster fire of wrecker headcanons -jj

two words: gentle giant

he’s much more of a softie around those closest to him and will play up the “BIG MAN SMASH AND MAKE THINGS GO BOOM” persona around ppl he’s not completely comfortable with

but you will know he’s comfortable with you when he’s making efforts to be quiet around you or maker forbid, trying to attract animals to him within your general vicinity

if you’re on the right planet and he’s able to be quiet enough for an extended period, this is what he becomes:

it’s so heartwarming when he’s shrinking himself down to be a non-threatening presence so an ash-rabbit will take the bits of vegetation from his outstretched hand

then there was the time two baby blurrgs inprinted on him bc he didn’t mean to be the first thing they saw when they hatched, it just happened

he named them des and troy wink wink nudge nudge and soothed their soft cries bc he knew that their mama wasn’t coming back for them

(the mama had been killed by something unidentifiable nearby, her body was close to the nest but far enough away so that the babies never saw her. wrecker HAD to take care of them, they had no one left)

you fell into the role of adoptive blurrg parents pretty easy and holy shit the pure joy on his face when he watched you interact with the two lizard babies...

you both (but mostly him) took care of them for almost a week and the man cried when y’all had to leave them with a local village he’s most definitely gonna visit them in the very near future, he’s a blurrg dad and he loves his sons

the villagers send him holos of them sometimes and you can tell when he got one bc he’ll be smiling like a proud father the rest of the day

speaking of fatherhood

will honest to god be the most fun and loving dad ever, will always be able to make his kid laugh

it’ll be hard for him to say no to them so sometimes his brothers step in to help on that front (ba’vodu crosshair, the kid will think in later years, is an asshole most of the time)

a pregnancy announcement has to be straight to the point bc if smth busy and punny was used, his focus would be on the pun/hubbub and not the actual message (he also has adhd imo)

the news brings him to his knees, his hands moving to caress what’s not even a bump yet and whispers words of praise in mando’a before he gets up and starts shouting his joy at the top of his lungs

and you thought he was a loud guy before, ohhhh that doesn’t compare to the day he finds out he’s going to be a father

he’s so!!! damn!!! excited!!! even crosshair cracks a few smiles at wrecker’s puppy-like joy

permanent joy. nothing can ruin his day bc HE’S GOING TO BE A DAD and he can’t be brought down from the fatherhood high

not even during shitty missions can the smile be wiped from his face

then someone a few months into the pregnancy (probably a well-meaning civvie) makes a joking comment abt how wrecker’s hands will be bigger than the baby once it’s born and he just... stops

he will come down from his permanent happiness high in seconds flat but do his best to hide the fact that the civvie’s words took him into a dark place

the guys sense the change in wrecker’s mood and make an excuse to go back to the ship. the moment they hear wrecker sniffle and see a tear roll down his face, you’re being called and are soon holo face to face with your darling wrecker

the guys leave the ship and give you both some space, there are just some things that need to be dealt with one on one

when you get the call, you’re not ready to see him teary-eyed and shaking like a leaf, sitting with his elbows on his knees

he lifts his head, glaring at his palms with a disdain you’ve never seen in his eyes, not even when there was a run-in with poachers a few weeks ago

“these hands... all they know how to do is destroy, it’s what i was created to do. kriff, it’s my damn name! what if i hurt them? i couldn’t live knowing that i hurt them, i’d sooner-” he cuts himself off with a heaving sob and hides his face in the offending hands

you ache to hold him and wipe away his tears, but you settle for telling him every reason he’s wrong to think he would ever hurt his child

eventually he stops shaking and is able to take deep breaths with you, and you take this as your opportunity to tell him about the bizarre cravings you’ve had and show him the ultrasound photo taken at the last doctor’s appointment

he starts crying but with happiness bc he’s thinking “that kid is part of me and the woman i love and i love them both so damn much and will die protecting them”

once he’s over the “what if i hurt them?” phase it’s game over, his life is not his own anymore and you & his child are the center of his galaxy

he has every ultrasound photo ever taken both in flimsi form and on his datapad and he shows them off so damn much

most def wants to introduce his child to his blurrg sons bc they’ll be the family pets after the war (safe to say you won’t be living on coruscant)

#jj #wrecker #comfort hours #this is so damn soft #clone trooper wrecker #wrecker x reader #god i love this man #the bad batch #clone force 99

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tobswrites · 3 years

Text

Shut Up, I’m not Scared!

Hey! I just finished, a certain part of School Briefs, (pretty sure it was Chapter 13 in the way the site I use is formatted) and turns out, Bakugou hates scary stories, or so it’s implied, so I wrote this real quick!

“She dropped me off just at the end of the street,” Mina continues with her storytelling, or for that matter, an actual ghost story that has been following her for years now.

Usually Bakugou wouldn’t be one to join shit like this, he won’t admit to himself, any less his friends, but fucking stories like this, scary ones, horror and ghost a like just didn’t suit well with him. They always gave him an unwanted thrill, a fear that prickled him.

But he stayed goddammit, first it was for that shitty red head, who begged for Bakugou to come join the rest of the ‘Bakusquad’ in the lounge area, using those famous puppy eyes of his, like what the fuck. At times those eyes of his reminded him of a Shiba Inu, a little dog with little eyebrows just like Kirishima’s own.

Kirishiba, he huffs, laughing at his own pun.

That’s beside the point, Kirishima had stuck to his side for the beginning of the night before he scooted closer to Mina to hear her story better, so there was no real reason for him to stay since his only incentive had left him.

Though if he walked out now, he would probably be called a sacredly-cat for leaving in the middle of Mina’s stupid story. Sure, he could always act cold, brush it off, but he was sure that Kaminari would mention it, and fuck that idiot knew his weakness, he’ll tease him and try to do that reverse psychology shit.

“As I passed the first house, the darkness seemed to get thicker, heavier even, it felt like I could climb on top of it, walk on it.”

He had no real reason to be afraid, a lot of the shit they were spewing was load of bullshit, exaggerated to make the story more enticing.

They pull all the tricker, using the fact they’re all going to die one day, darkness, even fucking shit like bugs are enough to pull anyone to fear and anxiety. They use the darkness, something that relates the brain to rest and sleep, relaxation, using your comfort against you. Throwing you into the unimageable in pure darkness when you’re greatest sense is gone, sight.

“And I could feel like someone was walking behind me as soon as I passed the second home, I did the trick with the makeup mirror, opening it up and looking at the reflection behind me. And there was no one, not a single person, but as soon as I was about to close the mirror, I swear on my life a black shadow moved.”

“It was just your fucking shadow.” Bakugou comments, stiff in his words as he was tensed.

Mina shakes her head rapidly, “Na-uh, I swear, there was no lamp post or anything, but I swore there was this like, black mass or something.”

“Someone was pulling a fucking prank on you with their quirk.” He says next, trying to calm his own nerves.

“What a shitty person.” Jirou says, calmly as she twirls one of her earlobe jacks.

“Guys!” Mina pouts, crossing her arms, “Let me finish!”

Bakugou groans, but waves his hand nonetheless, letting her finish as he falls back on to the sofa, looking at Kirishima who looked completely entranced with this sort of shit.

“Anyways!” Mina quickly says before anyone else has anything else to say. “I was almost home, I could see my neighbor’s house, so I started to walk faster, taking larger steps and all, I was practically running.”

She fastens her speech, like she was losing her audience and wanted to get the story to end, which thank fucking god.

“And as soon as I got to my doorstep, key out and all, I felt safe, I made it, I remember thinking but as soon as I entered the key into it’s whole, I felt my entire body freeze up, chills on my spine, and for a second I swore I could feel a hot puff of air on the top of my head.” Mina gives the audience an example, puffing once before continuing on.

“I shrieked and swung a fist, uppercut style,” she says proudly, but soon slumps her shoulders, “but there was no one.”

“Please tell you had it all video tapped.”

“Yeah! Security camera’s bitch!” Mina snapped her fingers, “it even records a separate video using infrared! You know, for those invisible using quirks? Well guess what? There was absolutely nothing caught! No body, no heat signature! No nothing!”

“Not even the puff of air on your head?” Kirishima as, flattening down a hand on the newly washed hair.

But Mina shakes her head, “None, I thought for sure I would catch something…but holy shit I thought I was gonna die, because the next thing I knew, I felt…” she shrugs her shoulders, “I don’t know, I felt free, the darkness didn’t look to dark anymore either, and that feeling of being watched? It was gone.”

“It was your brain cell kicking in.” Bakugou jokes, which Mina simply glares as Kaminari and Sero were the only one’s snickering.

“Sorry about that, I was sure it was my day to use it.” Sero joins in, causing Bakugou to even snicker.

“Okay, okay my turn!” Kaminari stands up, shooing Mina from her original seat.

“What? Go tell it from there!” She points from where Kaminari came from, but the blond wasn’t having it, pushing Mina causing her to fall to the side.

“My turn.” He says, plopping himself down while Mina whined about being injured, Kirishima gave her a smile of reassurance before the girl decided to take a seat next to Bakugou and away from the other idiots.

“Kaminari this better not be I thought I was home a lone but guess my mom was there story.” Jirou leans back, arms behind her as she smiles at the blond who only pretends to laugh at Jirou’s joke.

“Very funny, but no, okay, get this guys, I was visiting my gramps on the country side,”

“Oh hell no.” Mina says, shaking her head and throwing her arms cross one another several times.

“What?” Bakugou glances at her, confused.

“That’s where all that real shit is, tell him Kirishima, tell him that’s where the real shit is at.”

“That’s where the real shit is at.” Kirishima confirms, nodding his head in affirmation at Bakugou, and soon after smiling at the blond with a quick wink.

“Well, then buckle up Mina, because you know this shit is about to be even more real.” Kaminari says, looking stupidly serious.

Bakugou then tenses, already feeling the fear from the hype the two were giving it. Fucking shittt.

It was during the summer, so the nights weren’t as cold as they usually were. Crickets and frogs could be heard left and right, yet not one in sight to be seen.

He was a kid, he explains that it was late, but his mother, auntie and cousin had stayed up to talk, play and keep them entertained since they, the kids, were having a hard time sleeping.

“Then out of nowhere, I got hungry,” he laughs, patting his stomach, “And I begged my mom over and over to take me to the kitchen to get some food, since we lived in those separated room homes? Where the bedroom was it’s own building…”

“Like fucking courtyards? Open air yards?” Bakugou comments, not realizing that he’s speaking more often than usual.

“Yeah!” Kaminari smiles in graditide, “Well anyways, my mom told me to shut it but my auntie felt bad for me, and told me she’ll take me. So she picks me up.”

“Wait hold are you?” Sero stops him, creating a curious crowd.

“I was like, uh, probably seven? Six?”

“This could have been a dream!” Mina groans in annoyance, “are you sure this is real?”

“Yes! Yes it’s real!” Kaminari says, irritated now, “guys come on! I didn’t interrupt you Mina!”

Mina hums, asking for forgiveness and as soon as Kaminari accepts, he continues on.

“She was holding on to me, and as soon as we walk into the pathway to the kitchen there was this little thing by one of the walls. Just standing there, looking at us. It had a little ball on his hands, I’m pretty sure it was a football my cousin and I were kicking around earlier that day!”

The creature was hunched, or so says Kaminari, looked at both him and his aunt with a looking spooked like it didn’t expect either of them to come out so late. Before Kaminari could even figure out what he was looking at, his auntie had grabbed a baseball bat, another toy the kids had left around and started swinging it, yelling out words Kaminari couldn’t understand.

The creature then straighten it’s back, looking even more shocked than before, but the ball was still in their hands, holding it tightly, just a moment away from popping from it’s sharp claws.

Kaminari’s badass aunt had started marching towards it, Kaminari’s young brain still not yet comprehending what he was seeing, or even understanding why his aunt was so scared as she started swinging harder and faster.

It seemed like the creature finally got the hint his aunt was gonna beat his ass, as it turned around and started the attempt of climbing what Kamanari said was a concrete wall. The ball was now passed in one of his hands, trying to climb with it, but when it realized it couldn’t he had to let the ball go.

It climbed to the very top, turning back around on it’s fours to look at the two before jumping to the other side.

“After that, I got my snack and we made it back inside no problem, turns out my mom had her own adventures too! Said they found a nasty looking spider, like good thing I wasn’t there! I would’ve passed out!”

“Wait,” Bakugou backtracks, not at all noticing he was holding in a breath before talking, “what the fuck was the thing?”

Kaminari took a second to think before shrugging his shoulders, like it didn’t matter. “I dunno.”

“Dude!” Kirishima pipes up, “how could you be so chill? That’s creepy!”

“Hey man, it was years ago, and I haven’t seen or experienced any weird shit since then!”

“It could have been a hyosube.” Jirou had her phone out, the only light source causing her face to be luminated. “You could be cursed for life buddy.”

Kaminari playfully plays her off, “Come on Jirou, don’t say that.”

“Fucking stupid is what this is, I’m going to sleep.” Two scary stories were enough right? He doesn’t need this shit, and he’s sure if he hears another one of those fucking stories, he wouldn’t be getting any sleep tonight.

Kirishima nods in affirmation, “Yeah guys, Imma call it a night too!” he hops up from his seat and trails behind Bakugou.

The remaining four watch the two go, and as soon as they walk into the elevator close, Mina quickly whips her head back to the other three.

“Tots saw how Bakugou was hella tensed right?”

Jirou hums in confirmation, “Dude wouldn’t stop talking, he was totally nervous.”

“Come on guys leave him alone, the dude can’t be all perfect.”

#kiribaku #if you squint #bakusqaud #bakusquad #?#which one is spelled correctly?#Anyways #Bnha drabble #bnha fic #bnha one shot #bnha oneshot #kiribaku oneshot #kiribaku drabble #bakusquad drabble #bakusquad oneshot

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twilightofthe · 4 years

Note

25- 30 Obiwan Anakin Padme

Aw thank you!

(Ship ask meme found here)

OBIANIDALA

25: Who says shitty puns and sex jokes just to see the other giggle and blush?

Ok so all three of them like to say they don’t shame easily. It depends on the situation on whether they’re lying or not. Obi Wan is the KING of dad jokes and puns that he’ll just drop PURELY to get Anakin or Padmé to groan and/or toss something at his head for it. Anakin likes to make shitty puns too and he Will solely to get the narrowing of eyes and soft affectionate snort of amusment from his partners and the I put up with you because I love you but you are Ridiculous look that makes him feel like the greatest treasure in the world. Padmé doesn’t make dorky jokes as much so when she does, it’s the best feeling because she’ll get the most delighted startled laughter out of her boys from it. Sex jokes? Now it’s well known that Anakin is delightfully easy to fluster with those, so Obi Wan and Padmé shamelessly abuse this just to see the sputtering and wide eyes. For each other, if someone tries it, a competition usually starts of looking the other dead in the eye and dropping innuendos and seeing who blinks/blushes first. Anakin is more observant; his skill is timing, he’ll note the perfect time when Obi Wan’s focused on work or Padmé’s talking to someone and he’ll just drop the joke like a stone in the water and DELIGHT at the flustered stumbling he ALWAYS gets followed quickly by the heated look he gets that says he’s gonna pay for breaking their composure later.

26: Who kissed first?

For Obianidala, I think the first kiss is the same as canon, so technically Anakin leaned in for it first if I’m recalling correctly. Obi Wan takes a bit more wheedling and work throughout TCW and Anidala working out how they wanna do this. I def think Obi Wan knew about them before and would definitely be hesitant to “intrude”. I do think ultimately due to their connection, it’s Obi Wan and Anakin first to close the triangle, Anakin kisses him and he kisses back despite himself and that is the piece Anakin uses in the ensuing argument to convince him to at least try, go on a date with him and Padmé. Padmé turns on her brightest smile and her nice new dress and genuinely talks to him about this and pretty soon Obi Wan’s letting himself give her a kiss too when she invites him for like the fifth time and they all kinda fall together from that

27: Who orders take out at two in a morning? and who wakes the other up at three in the morning to go downstairs with them to get a glass of water because it’s too dark?

Obi Wan cannot cook for shit and hasn’t had a proper sleep schedule since he was a child. He’s up at 2 am and decides he’s hungry but there’s nothing in the fridge to reheat, so you bet your ass he calls up the greasy pizza place down the street. Padmé’s the one who wakes Anakin up at 3 am because “Anakin, unless you can tell me you cleaned up the droid parts off the floor, I am not going to step on one and fall and kill myself, you WILL walk me around the minefield you’ve created” and when Anakin blearily escorts her down the hall they turn on the lights to Obi Wan sitting on the table, frozen around a bite of pizza like a raccoon with its hands caught in the trash

28: Who writes poems/stories and love songs about the other? Do they sing the songs the write for them?

Padmé writes enough speeches every day for work, she does NOT write things in her free time, she shows her love for her boys in other ways. Obi Wan is definitely a poetry ho and will ten thousand percent lounge around and read them dramatically and Anakin and Padmé BOTH melt. Anakin does more creating cute little songs and shyly performing them to his loved ones. He has a sweet, decent voice and again, Pads and Obes both M E L T

29: Who does some crazy stunt to try and impress the other and who ends up driving them to the emergency room after it backfires?

ANAKIN SKYWALKER ENDS UP IN THE ER ONCE A WEEK BECAUSE HE WANTED TO DRAMATICALLY DISPLAY HIS LOVE FOR HIS WIFE AND HUSBAND AND GETTING HIS ASS ALMOST KILLED INSTEAD

30: Who is embarrassed when they have to wear their glasses and who thinks they look super cute?

If any of them had glasses, I think the only one to get self-conscious about it would be Padmé because she’s been so scrutinized by everyone for so long and she genuinely needs her beauty to maintain an image. Obi Wan and Anakin, of course, smother her with affection because she obviously still looks positively stunning.

#thanks for the ask!#ot3 to save the galaxy #queen of my heart #one (1) hot mess #our only ho #obianidala #ask #asks #anon #star wars

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gayregis · 4 years

Note

what are your feelings about geralt and yennefer? either book or game or netflix or all of them?

books

i agree with most canon*. it’s a good relationship that sapkowski put a lot of effort into developing and writing over the course of all of the short stories and the saga, so i think it tends to get more attention just because the author gave it more attention. i think it’s pretty incredible that geralt and yennefer have this deep relationship without even seeing each other in-person for basically half of the short stories and half of the saga, sapkowski did some interesting things to make that happen, but it ends up working.

i appreciate how geralt and yennefer are two very vulnerable people with issues relating to intimacy and letting others into their life, and they actually aren’t ready to have a relationship before they become more mature and understand what love actually means. imo, their journey to committment is a little too focused on monogamy and looking at relationships through that lense, but that is/was the viewpoint of the author at the time.

the major thing for geralt x yennefer as a ship for me is that i appreciate it in canon, whenever i read their romantic parts i feel it’s sweet, their moments in the end of the last wish, at thanedd, and the end of the assault on stygga castle are really moving and wonderfully written. i like how they speak about each other and feel about each other when they are apart. it’s something i can support and like, i feel a lot of this is tied to them being parents as well but it works overall.

something i also appreciate about them is how they’re really different from a lot of other m/f relationships. geralt isn’t fucking cruel, he acts like a human being and also has the capacity to apologize and act humble towards yennefer, being kind and caring so much about her feelings and what she wants. yennefer isn’t just a sex toy for geralt, she exists as her own person and is a very strong personality, but also isn’t cruel and doesn’t take him for granted. together, they really do care about one another.

BUT. even though i appreciate it in canon and in all of the parts i have read*. i literally can’t really ever think up my own thoughts or headcanons for them. and the reason for this that they never DO anything together in canon, asides from living together in vengerberg, going to thanedd, and participating in the fight at stygga castle. all they ever do TOGETHER as a couple is stay at home, go to a formal party, or fight for their fucking lives trying to escape the mad torture and grief wrought upon them and their daughter. in the other moments, they are just thinking about each other in loving manners, yearning, if you will, but whenever they are together it’s never an activity with potential for a story.

in my mind i HAVE to compare and contrast yennefer and dandelion and their respective relationships to geralt, just because they’re the two closest adults to him that he has in his life. the issue for me with geryennefer is that it doesn’t have potential like gerlion does. geralt and dandelion do all KINDS of fun, weird things together. mainly they go to festivals and bars, but they also just ride to different cities across the continent and explore, sometimes dandelion accompanies geralt on contracts, sometimes geralt has to meet dandelion in a place significant to him like oxenfurt. dandelion is constantly embroiled in other personal relationship drama. they actually DO a lot of things together, and these different scenarios are really interesting as a fan, because you can just think up unlimited things that they could have potentially done during all of these years. with geralt and yennefer, you can’t really do that because yennefer doesn’t travel, she has a house and a career and is a very esteemed and classy woman. in addition, this is just a personal preference it seems, but i never really get too involved in characters (and thus, ships with those characters in them) that don’t have an element of comic relief to them. geralt and yennefer can be in love, but i don’t know what kind of funny situations they might find themselves in, i don’t know what funny or wacky interactions they might have. and so it’s not all that interesting to me.

similarly, another thing i always compare and contrast geryennefer and gerlion on is that geralt and dandelion are so different. they’re entirely opposites. dandelion is very extroverted, flirty, gets into trouble, and has no issue with vulnerability or intimacy. geralt stays away from people because they despise him, he stays away from drama, and he’s not experienced with intimacy, he is insecure. they have a lot of friction there as two characters interacting with one another because of how different they are and the different lives they have had that influence who they are and who they might know, what they might like to do in a situation. in contrast to this, geralt and yennefer are very similar people. they both have a lot of issues with intimacy and vulnerability that makes them finding each other and developing with each other over the course of the series very compelling and interesting, but boring when you want to think of headcanons or new adventures and interactions for them to have. once they have developed their characters, they will stay developed. unlike with geralt and dandelion, where there will practically always be at the very least a little friction between them because they’re just so fundamentally different.

tl;dr: geralt and yennefer is a compelling and well-developed relationship in canon because sapkowski just poured his entire heart into developing them, they have many endearing moments together and develop their characters together and parallel each other in many ways; however, this means that they’re very similar characters and their goal as a couple is to finally be able to settle down, and that makes them lack potential as a ship to think about as a fan (in relation to thinking of new interactions for them or new situations for them to be in).

so as a fan who has ships, i have many many headcanons and ideas and fics in-progress (that i will never get around to writing) for gerlion, but basically nothing for geryennefer, which kind of sucks. but i also don’t disregard geryennefer as not canon or something like that, i just think that geralt can have both a boyfriend and a wife because i am disrespectful to sapkowski’s writing of yennefer as a possessive lover and his emphasis on monogamy as the ultimate commitment.

* obviously the shitty things that sapkowski did relating to consent in the last wish and something more (it’s basically canon that sorcerers/esses can hypnotize others into love and sex, but yennefer just chooses not to do this with geralt after the last wish because they Love Each Other Truly or something like this) should be retconned, just as i retcon the fact that geralt slept with barely-legal essi and shani, just as i retcon the off-color comments and jokes that got written for dandelion

games / cdpr

it’s... fine. yennefer got a major personality retcon and a lot of what cdpr says about their relaitonship doesn’t make sense and is pretty cringey, without much depth (apparently, they bonded over making witty puns...?) but it’s also a video game and we finally got to see yennefer and ciri in the witcher games franchise, which is a gift enough of itself, because they’re like, the most important people to geralt. cdpr has this weird infatuation with triss merigold and sexualizes her at every chance they get, her personality is incredibly different from the books, they basically made her really easy to wife up because she’s just very sweet and agrees with everything you say and loves you, so i am just glad that we have another option besides OOC triss.

but yennefer is also pretty OOC in a lot of parts, she has been rid of all of her character development from the series and even though she makes a lot of sacrifices for ciri, tw3 is incredibly reluctant to call her ciri’s mother, so what was the point of all of this. they also nerfed yennefer incredibly by making her hair salon curls instead of actually naturally curly, stormy hair, so that detracts from her entire character. the fact that she’s working with nilfgaard is just plain laughable and the fact that geralt is ok with this is even more laughable. there’s not even that much ship material between the two in the game and whatever there is is pretty cringey and base with no real depth or intimacy, so i cringe whenever i see a romantic gifset or something of them. it’s yawntown.

netflix

i despise netflix version of them because they’re incredibly boring and basic with pretty much every common major issue with depiction of a m/f relationship on screen: huge age cap between cavill and chalotra which is uncomfortable to watch because chalotra is only a few years older than freya allen who is meant to play ciri, geralt’s daughter..., they jump into romance and sex way too quickly (yennefer receives geralt in the midst of a huge orgy and is very seductive and sweet to him instead of zapping his ass with lightning and threatening to kill him, she also bathes in the same bathtub with him immediately instead of turning invisible to make a fool out of him), consent (geralt’s wish in their adaptation of the last wish wasn’t heard by yennefer, and in the end, he says “my plan worked,” which are three words pretty much no one wants to fucking hear after sex), weird homophobic joke upon meeting (yennefer says jaskier is “just a friend, [she] hope[s],” which is... it’s 2019 guys, come on), they argue for pure drama, geralt is sincerely mean to her (laughs at the idea of her being a mother), their intimate scenes are tasteless, they break up by the end of the series in the adaptation of the bounds of reason because geralt was mean to her...

there’s so many things i can’t even begin to list them all, but those are a few key ones. geralt is just a purely unpleasant character in netflix so he doesn’t deserve to be in love with anyone, and yennefer is such a basic and boring character with no sincere flaws or uniqueness that i can’t be interested in her at all. and together, they’re every heterosexual relationship that has ever existed.

#geralt #yennefer #i dont even have a ship tag for them just bc its not something i ever think about #ask #anon

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tropicalfreckles · 4 years

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Beej?

Anon you’ve opened the floodgates you absolute fool(i’m kidding) OKAY, let me tell you all about what I like about the smelly trash man cause if it wasn’t obvious before with me not being so subtle I have a big crush and enjoy this stupid demon a lot (crush on musical beej specifically of course LAWL)

Why I Like them: OKAY IN ORDER, first movie Beetlejuice. I enjoy he’s a big sleazy asshole that has funny one-liners every time he actually just show up in the movie. He’s a fast-talking con man that acts like a used car salesman and he has a sleazy charm to him. I also enjoy watching Barbara school his ass every time I rewatch the movie, stan movie Barbara y’all she’s a babe and will take you down. I also like to thank Michael Keaton for his performance it was a great one and we all have movie Beej to thank for the other Beetlejuices we got!

Toon Beej! Adorable, a brat, a jerk, a man that would do anything to make a quick buck and he’s gross and such a petty shithead I love him lmao. He can be pure and adorable and nice when he wants to be even if he doesn’t like to show that he has a soft side. Also holy shit all his puns??? YES?? I LOVE PUNS. His jokes, his powers, everything about this middle aged dead ghoul is A+ and ya know what when karma does slap him that’s good too cause he does deserve to get taken down a peg some times lmao. Toon Beej is someone I’d happily be friends with.

now we get to my big ass crush on a stupid, smelly BASTARD OF A BUGMAN

Musical Juice. What don’t I like about him? Besides his dumb ass plan of a green card marriage lmao (I mean movie beej also sleazy af for doing that too). ANYWAYS. What I like. His stupid smile (both blum and brightman just WHY ARE THEY BOTH SO ATTRACTIVE AHHH), his unhinged pansexual disaster energy, who tf is letting this man do coke that is a terrible idea but it gives such hilarious results, the fact that he uses his humor with his trauma he needs to NOT call me out like that lol. I weirdly relate to Musicaljuice like a lot (as someone who struggles with trying not to be petty or get jealous and stuff like that), plus him feeling invisible and lonely also hit home really hard when people in middle school and high school would randomly just drop/ghost me out of the blue. He’s such a chaotic sleaze and I just enjoy his energy and his jokes so much. His dirty humor? Sign me up I keep it clean here folks cause I got another blog for dirty stuff but I like dirty humor when it’s done right lmao. Also dadbod. Dadbod is CHEF KISS. The little things I also enjoy. How he does have an affectionate side (him being just affection/touch starved also coming for the throat cause me too), the fact that he jumped to protect Lydia after she rightfully killed him and he even gave her his cowboy hat as a goodbye present. I thought it was nice of him to yeet out of there cause he did do a lot of bads lmao. I also love how excited he got and the chaotic sibling energy he had with Lydia when scaring. I just really, really enjoy musical Beetlejuice a lot guys.

Sorry I’m such a simp for him lmao

He is my emotional support bastard

Why I don’t: I honestly do not hate his character at all, but, I can criticize his actions. To a degree. I can’t exactly say (ex. Musicaljuice)“Oh no! a demon trying to kill Lydia’s friends and family?? How unexpected!!” he’s a demon he’s gonna do evil-ish things. Which is why I applaud Lydia taking matters into her own hands good kid 10/10. and like movie Juice is a bastard sleazy man of course he’s gonna have a shitty idea as to marry a teenage girl so he can freely do whatever he wants in the world of the living. He never in the final script showed any creepy shit towards her which god I am grateful for I don’t need someone perving on this teenager that’s already having a wild time in her new house. He’s a conman just trying to have a good time but goes about it by crappy means. The petty/jealousy thing can go too far some times (but I chalk that up to musicaljuice’s sad upringing along with not having an positive relationships that we know of in his life to support him) for musical and toon juice (toon juice once again I don’t think had any friends that really understood him when he was alive and when he died so he just does whatever he wants since people already think so little of him before he meets Lydia), however with the proper talking to I think both could improve from it. Like in an analysis way I know these guys are fictional just like character development thoughts. All three have said and or done some things ranging from like small shitty things to problematic obviously. Beetlejuice is a very complex character as a whole. Movie juice obviously not as developed since he’s barely in the film to kind of shroud him in more mystery but that doesn’t mean his motives aren’t intriguing. I don’t want to make this post longer than it already is so that’s just all of my thoughts summarized.

Favorite Episode (scene if Movie): Fav movie beej scene is hard.

His first time meeting the Maitlands, his charades with Lydia, then the ending scene are all so good.

Toon Beej I’m trying to think. Once again I’ve only rewatched like 20+ episodes for the cartoon so it’s hard to pick with limited options. Uhhhh I like the haunted attraction episode lmao also the creepy tree and how he went out of his way to help Lydia move her favorite tree and in the end tried saying something nice to the tree even though eh was annoyed with it the whole episode.

Musical juice that is HARD, Blum and Brightman just own every scene they’re in shit lawl. I really like the evil plan reveal during the séance. The whole being dead pt 1&2 (the guide reprise), say my name, his scenes with the maitlands.

Favorite season/movie: Skip

Favorite Line: NICE FUCKING MODEL!! *honkhonk* (pfft)

also like... everything beetlejuice says in the musical lmao “new phone who dis”

Favorite Outfit: HONESTLY I love every single outfit all three beetlejuices wear. I want the fucking guide hat so badly!!!

OTP:

hahahaAAAHH ah. Well. Ya see here. Let’s go with the first options. Cause of a number of artists on here I’ve been pretty keen on the BeetlejuicexMiss Argentina ship for moviejuice tbh lmao. I like the idea they had an office fling. Musicaljuice and Miss Argentina sounds cute too.

I don’t actively go into the Beetlands tag but I do think the art and idea for it (after a lot of building up trust/consent/and talking) think it can be a super cute poly ship! I like.

I don’t really ship Toon Beej with anyone tbh.

so now into the self indulgent shit lmaaoo

I love people’s ocs/self inserts with the Bugman a lot and I myself super hardcore ship my oc Leilani and musicaljuice. I... maye have drawn self insert art I have no posted here out of being shy but it’s on another blog that will stay hidden lmao. I don’t normally post self insert stuff of myself cause man I can draw it easily for other people but when it comes to myself I am shy.

I mean I’m writing a fic for beej and lani as we speak and you all know by now if you’ve been following me for the past couple of months I’ve drawn a handful of doodles plus commissioned numbnutspo to draw my self indulgent ship lawl

BROTP: The obvious for toon and musicaljuice is Lydia Deetz of course. Chaos siblings. Also I have a BROTP of my demon oc Antares with musicaljuice too. Dumb demon bros.

Unpopular Opinion: TBH Idk if I have one. I like to think there’s a resounding hiss @ the ship that shall not be named lmao.

A Wish: Same wish I had for Lydia’s ask, I wanna see the musical live REAL BADLY. I also wish I could tell the cast/crew of the musical how much it has helped me get through this shitty year and how it legit just revived my passion for drawing again. I got to meet a lot of people through the musical and made some new friends. Plus I’m actually making money off my art now???

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: I wanna forget that clean beetlejuice from that one episode of the cartoon exists lmao it scares me (I mean I wouldn’t object to musical juice to taking a fucking bath or brushing his teeth but let’s be real that ain’t happening)

5 words to best describe them: Bastard, Unhinged, Handsome, 1-Brain Cell, Huggable

My nickname for Them: I mean when I refer to him or write fics it’s always Beej, BJ, Bugman, Bug, Bastard Man, Smelly Trashman, Garbage Man, Lawrence, the list goes on lawl

and now I have aired out more of my stupid obsession with this dumb demon

edit: I FORGOT HEADCANONS

OKAY HEADCANONS. Musical juice is definitely the oldest of the three, (in dead terms too, in alive terms he was ony alive for like less than 3 minutes or something), I love musicaljuice pansexual/genderfluid so much. I have a bunch but my mind is like blank rn for the rest shit sorry but I added those in at least

also I like the funny headcanon toon juice is taller than keatlejuice and musicaljuice

I also like the headcanon for autistic beetlejuice (as someone who is also autistic)

#asks #long post #anon #beetlejuice #musical beetlejuice #asks game #Anonymous

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artpoint420 · 4 years

Text

(DEBUNKED BY CHRISTMAS SPECIAL)

So the request was to answer why Bo Hweemuth (a clever pun on Boheemuth )keeps his eyes covered all the time and - a design trope meant to symbolize feeling socially isolated after being treated like a bully for so long, even after being befriended, the effects of that isolation either still linger or he just geniunely likes the hairstyle. Either way, the eyes covered/ closed trope is incredibly common.

The hard part here is answering what happened to his parents, as neither of them show up at Parent Day when they were in camp. I have two main ideas here and both are pure speculation, and I really don’t like basing my ideas on pure speculation because then they strictly evidence based. But I found this an interesting idea and weird that there’s never an explanation for it in the show.

So my first idea is that they were simply no-shows - possibly neglectful or work addicted parents who don’t have time for their son. This would be especially sad considering Melvin’s parents showed up, and they (in the books at least) are canonically neglectful.

My second idea- which I favor- is that Bo’s an orphan. As to how his parents died is something way out of my grasp given that there’s already so little to go off of, but having a character with this backstory makes sense in more than one way.

Narratively, it makes sense because each, okay well some, of the students represent different family dynamics with Harold’s parents being divorced being just one example. But not every kid gets to have parents. It’s possible that Bo lives in an orphanage and may not have a good relationship with the other kids there and his caretakers. Thus why flat out no one shows up at parents day. There are times when a kids parents die in some accident and their may not even be a means of calling the police or getting other people involved. Especially if he lived in a situation where his parents where cut off from other family members.

Most insanely, Bo may even be homeless along with living alone.And, hey, this could actually explain why his hair is so shaggy and his clothes seem so tattered. He doesn’t have anyone to cut his hair or buy him clothes. There are times when a kids parents die in some accident and their may not even be a means of calling the police or getting other people involved. Especially if he lived in a situation where his parents where cut off from other family members. That could end up with the child raising themselves and scared to get other adults involved, and maybe that’s another part of the reason why he isolates himself so much, he didn’t want to get close to anyone in fear they would find out about his situation and take him away.

For all we know, he could be very similar to a character of my own in my own works, where he was abandoned somewhere and left for dead, yet somehow managed to survive on his own.

All that is super dark and certainly not something that belongs in a show like this, and I’m almost certain none of that was the writers intent. Nonetheless that’s my interpretation. I do like to say that the most simple option is the most likely, so it really does fall between his parents just being no-shows or Bo being raised in a shitty orphanage, until I considered how the abandoned art room in the school seems to be his home. Sure, he hides in there during the day to create art and not scare other kids (which he fails at that tbh) but what if he sneaks and stays in there after school hours too? After all, none of the teachers even knew anyone was in there at all and the room was (in a way the show was finally paralleling the movie) completely locked up with Bo having to sneak in a different way.

TL; DR : This side character to a spin-off children’s show may secretly have one of the most tragic childhoods of all the characters and needs help!

Kinda Bonus: Again, I do like how the side characters in this show weren’t all just there for jokes or to fill space but, love or hate them, ways for the writers to portray different family situations and neuro-divergence. Even with Gooch, he’s more or less dead weight but it’s commonly thought he has some type of brain damage that impacts his cognitive abilities, especially since he seems to have genuine memory problems and dyscalcula ( the math version of dyslexia). When we get to see his contribution to the potato story (which, let’s face it, was a means for the creators to show the minds of their characters) he reveals he doesn’t even like slapstick but his thought process seems to work in a slap-stick type manner. I don’t know if I’m saying all this in the right way but it really does seem like a metaphor for brain damage, it seems like a birth defect to me. I can’t remember if I’ve posted this idea or not though since it’s been in my mind for a while.

It’s mainly because of Gooch that I speculate about if George and Harold’s class isn’t actually a Special Education class of sorts. I already did a video on that in my mini theories

#captainunderpants #captain underpants theory #cutheory #georgebeard #haroldhutchins #mrkrupp #theories #animation #cartoon #dreamworld

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