#i got some book recs from James that i’m excited to look for next time i get to a used bookstore

[starbuck]

as someone who is prone to having capital F Freak-outs over life things not happening fast enough or the way i want them to, the ability to learn has really kept me in check. i had been in a HORRENDOUS mood all morning, but i got home, had a proper meal, sent a couple emails i was procrastinating on, did some language learning, started reading a new book, and messed around on the guitar for a bit and now i’m completely calm.

#CRAZY how that works… #the book IS another Work Book which is Blah - but oh well #i got some book recs from James that i’m excited to look for next time i get to a used bookstore #which could maybe be soon? who’s to say?? #i haven’t gone shopping for anything but food/other essentials since i started working #so i DESERVE a treat - imo #i should find one used online and order it just to give myself Packidge endorphins #things have been A Bit Rough and it’s understandable that i’m upset and i’m overall proud of how i’m handling it #HOPEFULLY things will settle within the next couple of weeks #but in the meantime We Are Coping #and in positive ways thank GOD #cuz if i can’t currently control certain major aspects of my self-improvement then godDAMNIT i can control others #me making some teensy step of progress: oh boy i am gonna be SO wifeable in five years!! #so proud of the amount of things i can Kind Of do that i couldn’t do at all a year ago #i wanna get back into exercising too!! #haven’t quite found the motivation yet - but when i do? ohohohohohoho… #i should make it a before-work thing… that’ll ensure it actually gets done 😂😂 #that’s the ticket right there

[peppersonironi]

Sambucky Fic Recs #2

Part One |

Today's Theme: Soulmate Au's

Welcome to this today's theme! I happen to really enjoy these types of fics and thankfully there's a decent selection in the sambucky tag! Here are Ten fics for your enjoyment! (more under the cut)

1. A Touch of Pain by TowardTheStars

Sam had just turned seven when his world first exploded into pain.

Or, Sam feels his soulmate's pain and wishes to save them from their torment.

Quick warning before we get into things: This is currently a WIP. But I'm finding it great so far! This fic is more Sam-focused with great angst. Also some past Sam/Riley, which I'm always a sucker for!

2. Bright Colors Of Love by Yoursaltness_and_TheMemeQueen

The first time soulmates had skin to skin touch you’d be able to see the colors, that whenever you touched you’d be able to see the world in color, and that the first kiss made colors permanent.

When Sam Wilson is 20 he meets Riley, he falls in love. He takes a risk and holds his hand, the world stays black and white, and he thinks he understands why his aunt says that you don’t need a soulmate to be happy. When Riley dies, there is a bitter part of him that thanks the universe for not making them soulmates. - The first time James “Bucky” Barnes heard about soulmates was through the TV.

He reaches out to hold Steves hand and wonders if the universe can make mistakes.

He decides at about 17 that maybe soulmates are overrated, that the universe is too mysterious to trust. As he’s falling and hears Steve’s cry, he decided the universe is a bitch that knows too much and probably hates his guts. - Flash forward, Bucky knows they're soulmates, Sam doesn't.

Secret Santa Gift for Max!!

This has just the right amount of angst, and I was amazed by how well written it was! I love this fic so much!

3. Reach Out and Hold the Sun by Aluxra

When you touch your soulmate skin to skin, you leave a colour unique to you on them. 106 years and Bucky never received a mark.

Until Now.

Oh my gosh the mutual pining! The uncertainty! The fear of rejection! The utter relief and love that comes at the end! I was grinning ear to ear the whole time reading this!

4. redefining in every way what love is by lovelypenguins1717

On the non-dominant wrist of every person lays a soulmark. A unique mark that appears whenever their soulmate is born. It is the true north to their other half.

Bucky never had a mark and now he’ll never know.

Sam had found his, but the soulmark is meaningless now that Riley’s dead.

But sometimes soulmates are chosen.

*COMPLETE*

Now this is an interesting twist on soulmate aus! I usually love the ones where the people are destined for each other, but I have to admit that I really enjoyed the idea of choosing each other. It was so sweet!

5. Exactly What You're Looking For by @snarky-drabbles

When you lose something, it might appear beside your soulmate in the morning.

Sam never found anything from his soulmate until after Bucky Barnes dragged Steve from the Potomac.

Bucky grew up never finding a thing either, but after he finally gets free from Hydra, he starts finding things beside him the morning.

This is the story of them coming together.

now with a chapter of outtakes and alternate ending

I'll be honest, this fic is hilarious!! The romance aspect and yearning is great, but that ending is just on another level!

More Fics Under the Cut

6. I keep closing my eyes (but I can't blink you out) by @lesbianhozier

Bucky avoids eye contact as much as possible. He can hold a conversation without so much as looking at your face, the only exception to this being Steve. Sam definitely knows why and has seen it a few times before; soulmates. A brief moment of eye contact can change your entire life if it’s with the right person; your soulmate.

canon divergence in Civil War fic. I'll be honest this isn't necessarily my favorite, and it feels a touch weird near the end, but I still enjoyed it! The premise was fascinating and the writing was pretty good.

7. adored by @capnwinghead

The marks were legend - your soulmate's name on one wrist and your enemy's on the other. Most people spent their lives trying to decipher them. Bucky Barnes spent most of his life avoiding them.

Oh the angst in this one!!! So good!!

8. gunmetal grey by Someone_aka_Me

Soulmates wear the same mask, and only your soulmate can remove it.

Sam isn't expecting to find his mask in a history book, worn by a man who's been dead for decades.

I literally cannot sing the praises of this fic enough!!! Holy crap it's so good!!!! It takes place in ca:tws and continues afterwards, but it ignores AoU/ca:cw. I don't read to many fics from this era (working on more of them, though! I got a request for some fic recs, and my research is so much fun!), but I'm honestly adoring this so much. And the writing is so good too! And the whole premise of soulmate masks was fascinating to me! I've never read a fic like this before. BUT I LOVED IT SO MUCH!!!!

9. there is a sweetness in you by Someone_aka_Me

AU: Your soulmate is the only person who cannot hurt you.

Sam gets kicked off a helicarrier — yet he can't help but notice the boot to the chest doesn't hurt like it should.

Yeah, yet another of this kind of au. They seem to be semi-popular for sambucky (Kinda? there aren't too many soulmate au fics though). But I'm a sucker for them, alright? And this one is so cute too! :-D

10. Fortune Tellers And Falling & Fortune Tellers And Falling: Part 2 by @jeffersonshattricks

Prompt: During a “game” Sam is told that is soulmate will be the next person to do “X” to him and it happens to be Bucky. Sam is in denial but destiny cannot be stopped.

&

The is Bucky's POV for the first part of this. It explains how he knew they were soul mates, and shows a bit of what he went through while waiting for Sam to catch up.

A Two-Parter right here, guys! So fun! I love fics that show both POV's, they just add a new dimension, alright? Also, the pining and uncertainty in these are super good!

And that's it for today folks! I really hope you enjoy these! Once again, feel free to hop into my asks and request any trope or theme you'd like! I already got one that I'm currently working on, so that'll be fun! I also have a coupole other themes that I'm working on right now too, and I'm really excited about them!

Also, let me know if you want to be tagged for these!

#sambucky #fic recs #sambucky fanfiction #sam wilson x bucky barnes #tfatws #caatws #bucky barnes x sam wilson #soulmate au #sambucky fic recs #sam wilson #bucky barnes #captain america #the winter solider #fanfic reccomendation

[crowdvscritic]

round up // JULY 21

‘Tis the season to beat the heat at the always-cold theatres and next to fans set at turbo speed. While my movie watching slowed a bit with the launch of the Summer Olympics on July 23rd, I’ve still got plenty of popcorn-ready and artsy recommendations for you. A few themes in the new-to-me pop culture I’m recommending this month:

Casts oozing with embarrassing levels of talent (sometimes overqualified for the movies they’re in)

Pop culture that is responding or reinterpreting past pop culture

Stories that get weEeEeird

Keep on-a-scrollin’ to see which is which!

July Crowd-Pleasers

1. Double Feature – ‘90s Rom-Coms feat. Lots of Lies: Mystery Date (1991) + The Pallbearer (1996)

In Mystery Date (Crowd: 7.5/10 // Critic: 6/10), Ethan Hawke and Teri Polo get set up on a blind date that gets so bizarre and crime-y I’m not sure how this didn’t come out in the ‘80s. In The Pallbearer (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7/10), David Schwimmer and Gwyneth Paltrow try to combine The Graduate with Four Weddings and a Funeral in a story about lost twentysomethings. If you don’t like rom-coms in which circumstances depend on lots of lies and misunderstandings, these won’t be your jam, but if you’re like me and don’t mind these somewhat-cliché devices, you’ll be hooked by likeable casts and plenty of rom and com.

2. The Tomorrow War (2021)

I thought of no fewer movies than this list while watching: Alien, Aliens, Angel Has Fallen, Cloverfield, Interstellar, Kong: Skull Island, Prometheus, A Quiet Place: Part II, Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, Star Wars: The Revenge of the Sith, The Silence of the Lambs, The Terminator, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, and World War Z. And you know what? I like all those movies! (Okay, maybe I just have a healthy respect/fear of The Silence of the Lambs.) The Tomorrow War may not be original, but it borrows some of the best tropes and beats from the sci-fi and action genres, so much so I wish I could’ve seen Chris Pratt and Co. fight those gross monsters on a big screen. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 6/10

3. Dream a Little Dream (1989)

My July pick for the Dumb Rom-Com I Nevertheless Enjoyed! I CANNOT explain the mechanics of this body switch comedy to you—nor can the back of the DVD case above—but, boy, what an ‘80s MOOD. I did not know I needed to see a choreographed dance routine starring Jason Robards and Corey Feldman, but I DID. All I know is some movies are made for me and that I’m now a card-carrying member of the Two Coreys fan club. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 6.5/10

4. Black Widow (2021)

The braids! The Pugh! Black Widow worked for me both as an exciting action adventure and as a respite from the Marvel adventures dependent on a long memory of the franchise. (Well, mostly—keep reading for a second MCU rec much more dependent on the gobs of previous releases.) Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7.5/10

5. Liar Liar (1997)

Guys, Jim Carrey is hilarious. That’s it—that’s the review. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7/10

6. Sob Rock by John Mayer (2021)

It’s very possible I’ve already listened to this record more than all other John Mayer records. It doesn’t surpass the capital-G Greatness of Continuum, but it’s a little bit of old school Mayer, a little bit ‘80s soft rock/pop, and I’ve had it on repeat most of the two weeks since it’s been out. Featuring the boppiest bop that ever bopped, at least one lyrical gem in every track, and an ad campaign focused on Walkmans, this record skirts the line between Crowd faves and Critic-worthy musicianship.

7. Double Feature – ‘00s Ben Affleck Political Thrillers: The Sum of All Fears (2002) + State of Play (2009)

In The Sum of All Fears (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7.5/10), Ben Affleck is Jack Ryan caught up in yet another international incident. In State of Play (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7/10), he’s a hotshot Congressman caught up in a scandal. Both are full of plot twists and unexpected turns, and in both, Affleck is accompanied by actors you’re always happy to see, like Jason Bateman, James Cromwell, Russell Crowe, Jeff Daniels, Viola Davis, Morgan Freeman, Philip Baker Hall, David Harbour, Rachel McAdams, Helen Mirren, Liev Schreiber, and Robin Wright—yes, I swear all of those people are in just those two movies.

8. Loki (2021-)

Unlike Black Widow, you can’t go into Loki with no MCU experience. The show finds clever ways to nudge us with reminders (and did better at it than Falcon and the Winter Soldier), but be forewarned that at some point, you’re just going to have to let go and accept wherever this timeline-hopper is taking you. An ever-charismatic cast keeps us grounded (Owen Wilson, Jonathan Majors, and an alligator almost steal the show from Tom Hiddleston in some eps), but while Falcon lasted an episode or two too long, Loki could’ve used a few more to flesh out its complicated plot and develop its characters. Thankfully, the jokes matter almost as much as the sci-fi, so you can still have fun even if you have no idea what’s going on.

9. Double Feature – Bruce Willis: Die Hard With a Vengeance (1995) + The Whole Nine Yards (2000)

Before Bruce Willis began starring in many random direct-to-DVD movies I only ever hear about in my Redbox emails, he was a Movie Star smirking his way up the box office charts. In the third Die Hard (Crowd: 10/10 // Critic: 7.5/10), he teams up with Samuel L. Jackson to decipher the riddles of a terrorist madman (Jeremy Irons), and it’s a thrill ride. In The Whole Nine Yards (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10), he’s hitman that screws up dentist Matthew Perry’s boring life in Canada, and—aside from one frustrating scene of let’s-objectify-women-style nudity—it’s hilarious.

10. This Is the End (2013)

On paper, this is not a movie for me. An irreverent stoner comedy about a bunch of bros partying it up before the end of the world? None of things are for Taylors. But with a little help of a TV edit to pare down the raunchy and crude bits, I laughed my way through and spent the next several days thinking through its exploration of what makes a good person. While little of the plot is accurate to Christian Gospel and theology, some of its big ideas are consistent enough with the themes of the book of Revelation I found myself thinking about it again in church this morning. (Would love to know if Seth Rogen ever expected that.) Plus, I love a good self-aware celebrity spoof—can’t tell you how many times I’ve just laughed remembering the line, “It’s me, Jonah Hill, from Moneyball”—and an homage to horror classics. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7/10

July Critic Picks

1. Summer of Soul (…or, When the Television Could Not Be Televised) (2021)

Even director Questlove didn’t know about the Harlem Cultural Festival, but now he’s compiled the footage so we can all enjoy one of the coolest music fest lineups ever, including The 5th Dimension, B.B. King, Gladys Knight and the Pips, Nina Simone, Sly and the Family Stone, and Stevie Wonder, who made my friend’s baby dance more than once in the womb. See it on the big screen for top-notch audio. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 9/10

2. Good Morning, Vietnam (1987)

Robin Williams takes on the bureaucracy, disillusionment, and malaise of the Vietnam War with comedy. Williams was a one-of-a-kind talent, and here it’s on display at a level on par with Aladdin. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 9/10

3. Against the Rules Season 2 (2020-21)

Michael Lewis (author of Moneyball, adapted into a film starring Jonah Hill), is interested in how we talk about fairness. This season he looks at how coaches impact fairness in areas like college admissions, credit cards, and youth sports. 

4. Bugsy Malone (1976)

A gangster musical starring only children? It’s a little like someone just picked ideas out of a hat, but somehow it works. You can hear why in the Bugsy Malone episode Kyla and I released this month on SO IT’S A SHOW?, plus how this weird artifact of a film connects with Gilmore Girls.

5. The Queen (2006)

Before The Crown, Peter Morgan wrote The Queen, focusing on Queen Elizabeth II (Helen Mirren) in the days following the death of Princess Diana. It’s a complex and compassionate drama, both for the Queen and for Prime Minister Tony Blair (Michael Sheen, who has snuck up on me to become a favorite character actor). Maybe I’ve got a problem, but I’ll never tire of the analysis of this famous family. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9.5/10

6. The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean (1972)

This month at ZekeFilm, we took a closer look at Revisionist Westerns we’ve missed. I fell hard for Roy Bean, and I think you will, too, if for no other reason than you might like a story starring Jacqueline Bisset, Ava Gardner, John Huston, Paul Newman, and Anthony Perkins. Oh, and a bear! Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 10/10

7. New Trailer Round Up

Naked Singularity (Aug. 6) – John Boyega in a crime thriller!

Queenpins (Aug. 10) – A crime comedy about extreme coupon-ing!

Dune (Oct. 1) – I’ve been cooler on the anticipation for this film, but this new look has me cautiously intrigued thanks to the Bardem + Bautista + Brolin + Chalamet + Ferguson + Isaac + Momoa + Zendaya of it all.

The Last Duel (Oct. 15) – Affleck! Damon! Driver!

Ghostbusters: Afterlife (Nov. 11) - I’m not sure why we need this, but I’m down for the Paul Rudd + Finn Wolfhard combo

King Richard (Nov. 19) - Will Smith as Venus and Serena’s father!

Encanto (Nov. 24) – Disney and Lin-Manuel Miranda making more magic together!

House of Gucci (Nov. 24) - Gaga! Pacino! Driver! 

Also in July…

Kyla and I took a look at the classic supernatural soap Dark Shadows and why Sookie might be obsessed with it on Gilmore Girls.

I revisited a so-bad-it’s-good masterpiece that’s a surrealist dream even Fellini couldn’t have cooked up. Yes, for ZekeFilm I wrote about the Vanilla Ice movie, Cool as Ice, which is now a part of my Blu-ray collection.

Photo credits: Against the Rules. All others IMDb.com.

#Round Up #Mystery Date #The Pallbearer #The Tomorrow War #Dream a Little Dream #Black Widow #Liar Liar #Bugsy Malone #Sob Rock #John Mayer #Sob Rock John Mayer #The Sum of All Fears #State of Play #Loki #The Whole Nine Yards #Summer of Soul #Good Morning Vietnam #Against the Rules #The Life and Time of Judge Roy Bean #Die Hard With a Vengeance #This Is the End #The Queen

[backofthebookshelf]

Book Recs for Magnus Archives Fans

I was just rambling in tags the other day about how my avatarsona was "the Archivist, but a public librarian: Oh, you like dirt?? Let me tell you all the dirt stories I have!!!!" so, uh, here I am I guess.

I'm gonna spare you all the M.R. James and Algernon Blackwood and House of Leaves and Blindsight; you know all that already. These are my horror backlist recs.

The Bone Key by Sarah Monette Y'all. Y'ALL. Kyle Murchison Booth was absolutely the Archivist before Gertrude. He was poached from the Parrington by the Usher Foundation and the Eye glommed onto him at once, because the Eye loves disaster queers who can't people right (and also Gertrude). This I believe to be true, and so will you.

Kyle Murchison Booth is an archivist at the Parrington Museum, which is somewhere in New England, sometime in the early twentieth century. He also has a lifelong entanglement with the supernatural which is almost entirely not his fault, and he would very much like it to stop, but he also feels responsible and he can't just let evil mirrors and cursed necklaces and possessed dressing gowns randomly eat people who have no idea what's happening. Even if it means he's going to suffer for it.

(This collection doesn't contain all of the Booth stories, so here I am going to link to "White Charles", which happens to be my very favorite Booth story.)

For you if your favorite part is: honestly everything about MAG, from the modern sensibilities about early twentieth-century-horror, truly eerie ghost stories, to suffering eldritch librarians (thanks to whoever tagged my most recent fic with that you're so valid), monsterfucking and soft gay pining. No happy endings here, sorry.

Bedfellow by Jeremy C. Shipp You may or may not have heard that Macmillan-Tor is launching a horror imprint, and I don't know how long it's been since a major publishing house has had a horror imprint, but I am EXCITE. This book is part of the trend that's the reason why: Tor.com has been publishing these kickass novellas for a couple years now, and their horror books are top notch.

One night a stranger knocks on a family's living room window and asks to be invited in. They ask him to stay the night. He's an old friend, after all, he needs a place to stay. You can't kick out your twin brother when he's just gotten divorced, no matter how much Gatorade he spills on your two-year-old hardwood floors.

For you if your favorite part is: the Stranger, this is all Stranger, it's terrifying and good.

Through the Woods by Emily Carroll A graphic novel, some of these were originally posted as webcomics (have you seen His Face All Red, and if not, why not???) and the only disadvantage to having them in book form is they can't blink at you. Probably. Very folktale-ish, with all the death and violence that implies, and also the slightly eerie feeling that you know this story already, and then it turns around and slaps you.

For you if your favorite part is: looking over your shoulder when the foley gets good; Once Upon a Time in Space (I know that's not technically part of the Magnus Archives but shush)

Universal Harvester by John Darnielle I am not usually a fan of artists who jump media. Just because you can write songs doesn't mean you can write novels. Apparently writing good songs doesn't mean you can't write good novels, though, because John Darnielle of The Mountain Goats (pretty sure that's his full name at this point) wrote Universal Harvester and I love him for it.

Jeremy works at a video rental place in Nevada, Iowa (it's pronounced Nah-vey-da, and yes it’s real, I've been there, and yes, it's probably haunted). It's the 1990s, and someone's been returning their VHS tapes with something on them that isn't just the movie. Footage that includes a barn that he recognizes, just outside of town.

Fair warning: this is not the kind of mystery that gets tied up in a nice bow at the end.

For you if your favorite part is: Jon losing it with paranoia in S2, The People's Church of the Divine Host, the Lonely

The Good House by Tananarive Due If this author's name is unfamiliar to you, RUN, do not walk, to your nearest internet bookseller and purchase every single one of her books immediately, you will not regret it. She also just came out with a documentary on black horror, Horror Noire, on the Shudder streaming service. They've got a free month if you aren't a horror movie person, it'd be worth your while. This book summary sounds like it's full of tropes. It is, but Due has the cred to write them well.

Angela Toussaint hopes to salvage her suffering marriage and her troubled relationship with her teenage son with a trip to her grandmother's house, a home so beloved the locals in small-town Washington state call it "The Good House," but tragedy strikes instead. Two years later she returns and finds that the tragedy isn't over, and it's not going to stop on its own.

For you if your favorite part is: the very practical statement-givers who know what's happening to them and Will Not Put Up With This Shit, the Desolation, the Hill Top Road statements

The Library at Mount Char by Scott Hawkins Is this horror disguised as fantasy? Found family disguised as horror? Grown-up Neil Gaiman? Less grimdark George R.R. Martin? Honestly I have no fucking idea, but it's amazing. Fair warning, unlike Magnus Archives, this deserves all kinds of trigger warnings, including but not necessarily limited to: sexual assault, torture, mental manipulation, dysfunctional families, incest(?)

Father is missing, and his twelve children (though extremely talented in their own ways, and not strictly speaking children any more) are at a loss without him. But also, without him, things are starting to seem different. He might be God? They might not be human? (They were probably human once.) He might not be God but maybe one of them might be next? If any of them survive.

For you if your favorite part is: slowly turning into a monster, the relationships between entities and avatars, monsters hot (not kidding about the trigger warnings)

The Loney by Andrew Michael Hurley I have to keep reminding myself that Magnus Archives isn't really folk horror, there are two separate (if related) strains of British horror here and folk horror is not the one we're on, but at the same time I really want a good creepy rural pagan cult to show up in the series, you know? Anyway.

When he was a child, our narrator used to go with his family on an Easter pilgrimage to shrine on a bleak stretch of Lancaster coastline locals called The Loney. His Catholic mother was searching for a cure for his older brother, and she was convinced if they kept going long enough she would be granted her wish. The locals, however, are not huge fans of her annual visits, and even less so when the boys become involved with the goings-on of a pair of glamorous tourists.

For you if your favorite part is: the Lukases, I didn't realize until I was writing this up that I'm picturing Moreland House in the exact place described by this book

Eutopia by David Nickle One thing I love about the historical statements in Magnus Archives is just how truly historical they are. There's almost nothing in "The Piper" that isn't historically accurate - yes, Wilfrid Owen spent several days in a trench underneath the shredded bodies of his fellow soldiers. Like. You can't make up horror worse than that. But then you add monsters and it gets good. And I'm a sucker for early-twentieth-century history, it's such a bonkers time.

It's 1911 and the new Eugenics Record Office is sending agents out to catalog the disabled, infirm, and otherwise undesirable members of society so they can figure out what to do about them. In the utopian town of Eliada, Idaho, Dr. Andrew Waggoner runs from the racism of American society and straight into the influence of Mister Juke, the most troubling patient in his new practice. (Trigger warnings for, obviously, a whole lot of ableism. Treated like the monstrousness it is, but there's a lot of it.)

For you if your favorite part is: learning history through horror, the Flesh

A Head Full of Ghosts by Paul Tremblay I hate male writers writing about teenage girls, so you are going to have to trust me when I say that I had to check, several times while reading this book, to make sure that Paul Tremblay is actually a dude. He's very good. This book was kind of his breakout, so if you follow horror you've read it already, but if you don't necessarily then please do not miss it. His newer ones, Disappearance at Devil's Rock (Stranger, Spiral) and The Cabin at the End of the World (Slaughter, Extinction), are also good but not as good as this, I think.

Fourteen-year-old Marjorie is having a rough time - outbursts, hallucinations, paranoia. Treatment is difficult (and expensive) and her family ambivalent; they turn to a local Catholic priest, who recommends an exorcism and, to help manage those medical bills, a production company who's interested in filming a reality TV show about the process. Fifteen years later, Marjorie's sister deconstructs the now-famous show and wrestles with her own memories of childhood. Trigger warnings for ableism on the part of many of the characters, but not the narrative.

For you if your favorite part is: the Spiral, metafictional analysis of horror tropes

#the magnus archives #book recs #there's a lot of other things i could tag this as #but i wrote it for this fandom #is this a transparent excuse to get more people to read booth stories?? #it is #it really is

[siriusordo]

Never Have I Ever

Written for the 2017 MEFFW Secret Santa Fic Exchange. A holiday party, mistletoe, and a drinking game. What could possibly happen? FShenko.

A/N: I hope everyone had a great holiday season. This was written as my gift fic for @alyssalenko  for the Mass Effect Secret Santa Fic Exchange 2017. I was thrilled with this match. After signing up I'd looked through the requests and saw this one. I loved it and considered writing something for it, whether I received it or not. Imagine my excitement and surprise when I opened my assignment email and found I'd been matched with her. I really loved writing this! Thanks again to @jediserenity82 for beta'ing this for me!

Read Below or at: ffnet: https://www.fanfiction.net/docs/edit.php?docid=53012872 AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/13169967

Never Have I Ever

"Mistletoe!"

"You have to kiss her, Major!" Samantha's delighted voice added, pointing at a green sprig above the couple.

This was the third time they'd been caught standing underneath a piece of the holiday plant this evening. It seemed like the devilish little things were hanging all over the rec room. Although it was possible that some of the crew was taking great delight in moving it around or maybe it just felt that way to Shepard.

She didn't mind kissing Kaidan, honestly she didn't. Who would? It was just the constant displays of public affection were dangerous for them. If Alliance Command got wind of their relationship, there could be consequences. At best, one of them may be reassigned, at worst they could face a court martial for fraternization. She honestly didn't want to go through that again. As they were Spectres, they were technically Council representatives and outside the Alliance's direct command, but this was still an Alliance ship and she just didn't want to take the chance. She wasn't sure she could do this without Kaidan at her side.

Before Shepard could protest, the Major leaned in and gently pressed his lips to hers. Closing her eyes, she let herself enjoy his touch, but it seemed to end just as quickly as it began. "Don't worry so much," he whispered against her lips.

"Can't help it, it's my job," she returned with a smile.

"For tonight," Kaidan added as he used a fingertip to trace along her jawline. "For me?"

"I'll try," Shepard answered. As they parted, she became aware of the cheers and catcalls of their friends and crew-members around them. She shook her head. Everyone meant well, but all it would take was one anonymous complaint to Command and she could lose him again….

"Shepard," Kaidan sighed, knowing she was already losing the battle. "Everyone here just wants to share our happiness with us. There isn't enough of it in the galaxy right now. Let them celebrate."

"You're right," she said, slipping her hand into his and squeezing it gently. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," he replied, squeezing back.

"Anyway," James said, coming up behind them and nudging Shepard's shoulder with his larger one. "You and Alenko are one of the worst kept secrets in the galaxy. No use in trying to hide it anyway."

"James!" she sputtered, rubbing her shoulder. Sometimes the big guy just didn't know his own strength.

"What?" he smirked at them. "It's the truth and everyone here but you knows it."

"You know he's right," Garrus added, joining the small circle of friends. "Relax and enjoy the party."

"Garrus! Not you too," Shepard moaned.

"Shepard, I spent a lot of time in the shuttle bay on the first Normandy with that guy," Garrus said, tilting his toward Kaidan and tapping his own nose. "There was no hiding his attraction to you every time you were in the room."

The Major's cheeks flushed at the comment, but he didn't bother trying to deny the truth.

"Do not forget the pool," Tali said from beside Garrus, her words badly slurred.

"Pool?" Shepard questioned, curious.

"On when you two would finally hook up, get vertical, do the deed," Joker explained, joining the expanding group and taking a pull from the beer in his hands. "Got pretty large too, didn't realize the Turian had inside information."

"By the way, you still owe me fifty credits." The aforementioned Turian told Joker.

"The check's in the mail," the pilot answered before turning back to Shepard and Kaidan. "You really should consider moving out from the under the mistletoe," he said, pointing above their heads. "Before Traynor decides you need to kiss him again."

"Did someone call me?" Samantha asked, as if conjured by the mere mention of her name. "By the way, if you're still under the mistletoe in another minute, it will be another kiss."

"What?" Traynor asked when everyone started laughing at the comment.

"Told ya," Joker said with a smug smirk.

"I don't mind kissing Kaidan," Shepard retorted before giving the man a quick kiss to prove her point. "It's just the public displays that make me uneasy."

"This is your crew," Samantha automatically reassured the commander, unknowingly echoing earlier reassurances. "No one will turn you in — no one."

"Thanks Samantha," Shepard said, as Kaidan wrapped in arm around her waist, "thanks everyone, really."

"Now that we got the mushy stuff out of the way, how about we have some fun?" Joker suggested with a smirk.

"What do you suggest?" Tali asked.

"A drinking game," Joker answered.

"Truth or Dare?" James offered with a grin. "Got some ideas for some good dares."

"I don't know," Shepard replied hesitantly. She didn't like to think about some of the dares that James could come up with.

"I was thinking more like 'Never Have I Ever', easier for the cripple than some of the dares that you guys think up," Joker countered, finishing off his beer, "easier to learn the deep dark secrets people are hiding too."

"I'm game," Vega said to no one's surprise.

After taking a moment and giving Joker a calculating look, Shepard replied, "If Joker's offering up a chance to learn some of his secrets I'm in.'

"I'm an open book," the pilot laughed, "just ask me."

Shepard was well aware that wasn't exactly true. Joker cracked jokes and poked fun at himself and others as a deterrence technique. It kept them from getting too close. If he didn't let them in, they couldn't hurt him. "We'll see about that," she mused aloud, glancing at him.

"I'm in," Kaidan said. "Garrus?"

"Sure, why not?" the Turian answered. "Tali?" he asked. When he didn't receive an answer, Garrus glanced over his shoulder and saw the Quarain already passed out on a nearby couch. "Guess she's out," he nearly purred with amusement.

After clearing off a nearby table, the group started to sit down and get comfortable. "Care to join us, Esteban?" James called out to his friend standing nearby.

Turning at his name, Steve asked, "What's going on?"

"Never have I ever with these guys." Vegas answered.

Glancing around, Steve made his way over to the table, grinning as he pulled out a chair and plopped himself down into it. "I'm going to enjoy this."

Laughing, Kaidan stood up and went to the nearby bar. He grabbed some clean shot glasses and handed them to James, who passed them out to the players. Next, Kaidan found a few bottles of alcohol, plus something special for Garrus, and brought them back to the table, putting all but one in the center of the table. After he sat down and filled the small tumbler, he handed the bottle to Shepard, who filled hers and passed it on.

"Everyone ready?" Shepard asked after everyone had filled their shots.

"For those of us that've never played before," Garrus said, getting a disbelieving look from all the other players, "Okay for me — what are the rules?"

"We'll take turns, going around the table, making a statement 'never have I ever' and an action." Shepard explained to her friend. "Such as, never have I ever kissed a girl," all of the players, except Steve, picked up their drinks and knocked them back, putting the empty tumbler back on the table upside down. "You can ask just about anything you want to know about the other players." Picking up her glass, Shepard swallowed the liquid and put it back on the table upside down. She shrugged a shoulder at a few of the questioning looks. "I experimented a little when I was younger."

"Understood," Garrus said, picking up his own shot and finishing it off.

"My turn," Steve declared from Shepard's other side after the glasses were all full again. "Never have I ever kissed a guy." Grabbing his shot, Steve swallowed it in one go. Putting it back on the table upside, he added, "Needed that one."

No one was surprised when Shepard took her shot or when Kaidan quickly followed her example and knocked back his drink with a grin. An eyebrow or two went up when James picked up his drink and knocked it back. "What? he asked, glancing around. "I experimented when I was young, too."

"Was?" Kaidan ribbed. "You're still a kid."

"An old man like you would know," James quickly quipped back.

Kaidan snorted back a laugh and saluted the younger man with his empty glass before setting it on the table and filling it again.

"My turn," James said, looking from Garrus on one side of him and Shepard a few seats down on the other. "Never have I ever kissed an alien." He didn't touch the drink in front of him and instead watched his friends around the table.

Garrus was the first one to pick up his shot. He silently saluted the group and swallowed the liquid. Setting it down, he picked up his bottle and refilled it. Without a word, Traynor picked hers and drank her shot. Grinning, Joker refilled it for her. Eyes scanned the table to see if anyone else would take a drink until they finally settled on Shepard.

Taking a deep breath, she seemed to steel herself against something before picking up the small tumbler and quickly swallowing the shot. Biting her lip, she put the empty glass back and leaned into Kaidan seated next to her. He automatically wrapped an arm around her and pulled her closer to him.

The silence hung heavily between them, no one knowing exactly what to say or ask. Finally James broke the silence, looking at Garrus and Shepard and asked, "Soooo—enlighten us. Each other?"

Garrus sputtered and choked in indignation. "What?"

"You were on the ship together under Cerberus, you're good friends, and you've both kissed an alien," James explained. "Makes sense."

"If you don't have all the facts maybe," Garrus retorted, shaking his head. "It was Tali if you must know."

"Oh!" James said, leaning back in his chair, looking from the Turian to the Quarian and back. "Oh! I didn't… ummmm... yeah…." he continued, rubbing the back of his neck. "I didn't know."

"It wasn't yet common knowledge," Garrus said, glancing over at his sleeping girlfriend.

"Congratulations," Shepard smiled at her friends. "The universe could use more happy right now."

The rest of the table quickly followed suit, offering well wishes for the couple. After everyone fell silent, James started to ask, "Then who?"

"Thane," Shepard answered.

"The Drell on the Citadel?" James questioned.

"Yeah," Shepard confirmed, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I'm sorry, Shepard. What was he there for?" James asked.

"Kepral's Syndrome."

"Oh damn," the younger soldier groaned, leaning back in the chair and running an agitated hand across his short hair. "I…." he trailed off, not knowing what to say.

Shepard's ill-fated relationship with the Drell assassin wasn't a secret, not really. She knew if their mission didn't kill them, his disease would eventually shorten their time together. It made her treasure every moment she'd had with Thane, and she wouldn't trade it for anything in the universe. Nothing…

"Don't worry," she waved him off. "You didn't know."

"Thanks," he replied, happy that he hadn't accidentally brought up something the Commander preferred not to think about. Sitting quietly for a moment, she could see he was thinking about something, finally he asked puzzled, "But I thought... you and the Major?"

"Weren't together at the time," Kaidan explained. "And I don't begrudge her that time with Thane. He took care of her and loved her when I couldn't." After he finished, Shepard snuggled deeper into his embrace as he kissed the top of her head lovingly.

After basking in Kaidan's warmth, Shepard sat up with a smile and asked, "Who's turn?"

The game continued on. They ribbed each other, joked, and smiled. Everyone took a turn asking questions or downing a drink when they'd done the 'never' asked. They learned about their crew-mates, their pasts and a few secrets. More importantly, they took a moment to relax and have fun.

"My turn," Joker smirked, resting his arms on the table. "Never have I ever had threesome." He looked from person to person, waiting to see if anyone would take a drink until finally someone moved.

Shrugging a shoulder, Samantha picked up the glass in front of her, saluted the table before downing the liquid.

"Traynor?" Joker said, astonished.

"What can I say," she answered, refilling her drink. "I experimented," she deadpanned, echoing others earlier words.

That broke the ice, there was no stopping it. The table erupted into laughter. They laughed until the humans had tears in their eyes. When Shepard managed to pull herself together, she said, "My turn." Giving Joker an almost evil look she asked, "Never have I ever had sex in the pilot seat of the Normandy."

"Hey! Not my chair!" Joker shouted.

Smirking at him, Shepard slowly picked up the shot glass and swallowed the liquor in one gulp, before smacking the empty down on the table.

"Shepard?!" the pilot groaned, slumping in his seat.

Next was James, picking up the tumbler he swallowed the shot in one go. After refilling it, he leaned back in his seat and clasped his hands behind his head. "What can I say, she was worth it."

When Traynor, Garrus, and Steve quickly followed, Joker face palmed and slipped further down into his seat. "Tell me you haven't desecrated my chair too?" Joker said, looking pointedly at Kaidan.

"Yeah well," the other man mumbled apologetically as he picked up his glass. "Who do you think was with Shepard?" Finishing the shot, he put the empty back on the table.

Staring at the ceiling petulantly, Joker demanded, "Has anyone not had sex in my chair?!"

Resting her elbow on the table, Shepard put her chin on her palm, smiled at Joker and the full glass in front of him. She said sweetly, "Apparently you."

Turning sharply to the commander, Joker glared at her and gave her the middle finger salute, making the table of players erupt in laughter again. "Yeah, yeah laugh it up," Joker said as he stood up and started to walk away. "We'll see who gets the last laugh."

Leaning against Kaidan's side, Shepard tried to catch her breath. Who knew that Joker's pilot chair was such a popular hot spot? Or that he left it often enough for everyone to use it as often as they had! Poor Joker….

"Not sure he was ready for that answer," Garrus chuckled as he stood up and walked over to the couch where Tali was sleeping. He gently shook her awake and whispered, "Time for bed."

"Mmmmm… okay," she mumbled, sitting up.

Garrus helped her stand up and wrapped a steadying arm around her waist. "Thanks everyone, it's been a great party but it's getting late and some of us have some calibrations to take care of in the morning."

"Night Garrus," Shepard and the other players replied, as the pair slowly turned and headed for the door.

"He's right, it is late and I need to hit the gym tomorrow before duty," James said, stretching as he stood up. "Catch you guys later," he added before heading for the elevator.

"Yeah me too, a shuttle repair in the morning for me." Cortez said, standing up and yelling for Vega to wait for him.

"Apurate amigo!" James replied, as he grabbed the door and kept it from closing. Steve stepped into the elevator and stood between Garrus and James as the doors slid shut.

"My turn to say goodnight," Traynor said to the pair left at the table as she waved at a crewman along the far wall. "I had fun, thanks for including me."

"Thank you for organizing the Christmas party," Shepard smiled at the other woman.

"You're welcome, we needed something to celebrate." Walking away Samantha added, "Have a good night, sirs."

"You too," they replied in unison, as Traynor joined a small group of people.

"It was a great party," Kaidan said, giving Shepard's hand a squeeze under the table. "Shall we call it a night and let the crew party without the officers here?"

"Come to my quarters for a private after party?" she asked with a wink. For a little added persuasion, she dragged the knuckles of their joined hands along his inner thigh and making Kaidan's breath catch in the back of his throat.

"Sounds good," he managed in a steady voice, even as their hands rubbed against his pant-clad cock. "Shall we?"

"The sooner the better," Shepard agreed, letting go of Kaidan's hand. She let her fingertips stroke along the bulge in his pants, before she pulled her hand from underneath the table, stood up, and started for the door.

"You're evil, Shepard." Kaidan groaned, lagging behind as he tried to regain some control over his body.

"I know," she laughed, waiting for him at the door. "But you wouldn't change me."

"No," he readily agreed, "I wouldn't." Even after all this time, the memory of losing her was still very fresh and painful. She was here, she was alive and they were together again. He could never dream of possibly changing anything about her or their situation. When he was finally able to stand up without making it obvious what they'd been doing under the table, Kaidan quickly joined her. "Let's go."

Shepard flashed him a grin as they walked into the hallway and across to the lift. Slapping the pad on the wall, she called it back and they waited silently for it to return. A few seconds later the doors slid open and they stepped in, the door closing automatically. She punched the button for her quarters and as it started to ascend, she leaned into Kaidan's larger body next to her and he wrapped an arm around her waist. She couldn't help a soft sigh of contentment. It was the little moments like this that made it all worth it.

"What the hell?" Shepard cursed when the lift jerked to a halt, nearly knocking her off her feet. At the same time the power cut out, killing the lights and throwing them into pitch black darkness for a brief few moments before the emergency lights kicked on.

"That's weird," Kaidan said as he steadied her.

Patting his arm in thanks, Shepard looked up and called out, "EDI?" When she didn't get the immediate anticipated response, she tried again. "EDI, answer me."

"Yes, Commander?" she reluctantly answered.

"EDI what's going on?"

"It seems the main power to the elevator has been cut," EDI needlessly explained.

"I figured that much EDI, we're stuck in here," Shepard said, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Why's the power out?"

"Revenge Shepard," Joker voice suddenly sounded over the speaker.

"Joker? What...?"

"Desecrating my chair," the pilot said. "Really? I have to sit here. And to know that everyone has used it for their..." he hesitated, searching for the word, "extracurricular activities! Ugh! It won't ever be the same."

Looking up at the speaker in the ceiling, Shepard tried to explain, "Joker I…" but he cut her off.

"Luckily, EDI understands, she knows how I feel about the Normandy, my chair and her, so she helped me out."

That sounded ominous and made Shepard almost afraid to ask — almost. "What's going on, Jeff?"

"All power to the ship's elevator has been cut," EDI explained for him, "And can't be reestablished until the engineering crew come on duty in the morning."

"That means no propulsion, lights, surveillance, and after I cut this call, all communications systems," Joker laughed. "Next time think you'll reconsider defiling a guy's chair. Have a good night guys!" As soon as he finished speaking, the line the line cut out.

"Joker!" Shepard angrily demanded. "EDI!" Neither answered. "Dammit!" She sagged against the wall behind her and rubbed her temples in aggravation.

"You okay?" Kaidan asked, stepping closer.

"No," she sighed, aggravated with Joker. "He stranded us here!"

"Yeah, but are you really surprised?"

"No, not really," she answered, running a hand through her hair with a small smile. "And honestly that night was still well worth it."

"Even if we have to spend the rest of the night here?" Kaidan asked, moving closer and resting his forearm against the wall near her head.

"Even if," Shepard reassured him as she looked up through her eyelashes. "Too bad though, I had plans for the rest of the night."

"What kind of plans?" he questioned as he leaned in and stroked her jawline with his fingertips.

She could feel her pulse quicken and her breath hitched. Having him so close, touching her was making her mind fog and thinking clearly was getting difficult. Lacing her tone with the desire she was feeling, Shepard whispered, "One that involved you, me, fewer clothes, and a bed." Slowly licking her lips, she added, "On second thought, the bed was optional."

"God Shepard," Kaidan groaned, continuing to stroke her cheek. "You can't say things like that when we can't do anything about it."

She could feel his rock hard cock pressed against her tummy. She needed to feel more of him... all of him. Reaching up, she threaded her fingers into the hair on the back of his head, taking care to avoid his implant. "Who said we can't?" she asked, before yanking his head down and desperately crashing their lips together.

She was nearly overwhelmed by him. The feeling of his body so close to hers, the fragrance of his aftershave mixed with a musky scent that was uniquely Kaidan, and the taste of him in her mouth. It was a heady mix and she loved it and had missed it when they were apart.

When the need for air made them break the kiss, Kaidan rested his forehead against hers. "We can't," he breathed heavily, "EDI."

"No audio or video feeds," Shepard said, pressing her heated core against him, "Means no EDI."

Needing no more prompting, Kaidan kissed her. This kiss reflected his growing passion, all tongue and teeth; exploring, licking, sucking and tasting. The more he took, the more he wanted. He could never get enough of her.

Breaking the kiss, Kaidan grasped a handful of her hair and gently but firmly pulled her head to the side, exposing the sensitive skin of her neck. He rained down on the flesh, from just below her ear to her pulse point and back. She moaned lustily when he nipped and sucked her ear lobe. "I love you," he whispered breathlessly.

"I love you, too."

"I need you," Kaidan moaned. He thrust his hips against her, trying to create some friction and relieve the tension building inside of him.

"Need you, too," she managed, running a hand down his side, she pulled his shirt out of his waistband of his pants. Not bothering with the snaps, Shepard grabbed two handful of fabric on the front of the shirt and yanked it open, shoving it off of him. Nearly purring in contentment, she stroked the muscles of his chest and down to his abs. She traced the light hair of his 'happy trail' down until it disappeared under the waistband of his pants. She dragged her fingers back and forth along the top of his pants, almost tickling the sensitive skin.

"Too many clothes," he mumbled, grasping the tab of the zipper on her N7 hoodie and lowered it tooth by tooth with what felt like excruciating slowness. He pushed it off her shoulders and Shepard wiggled out of it, letting it fall to the floor. Sliding down her body, Kaidan knelt in front of her, all the time keeping his gaze locked on hers. Releasing the hidden closures on the boot, he pulled it off and tossed it behind him. He took off her sock and stroked the soft skin of her calf. Putting her foot down on the deck, he quickly repeated the procedure with the other boot, putting her foot back on the floor, before standing up.

She bit her lip and watched him efficiently undo her belt and unfastened her pants. Wrapping his his fingers into the fabric of her panties and pants, he pushed both down over the swell of her hips until they pooled at her feet. She stepped out of them and kicked them out of their way. She was left standing in front of him in nothing but her tank top.

"So beautiful," he whispered, stepping closer. Sliding his hands behind her thighs, Kaidan picked her up. He felt her legs wrap around his waist and pull him tightly to her. He could feel her heated core pressed firmly against his achingly hard cock. When she grinded herself against him, Kaidan groaned and nipped her shoulder.

"Kaidan," she whined, thrusting herself into him again, desperately seeking some relief from the growing ache deep inside of her. "Please."

"What do you need, Shepard?" he asked, stroking her side. He pushed up her tank top until her breasts were exposed to the cool air, making the nipples pebble. Reaching out, he circled one with the tip of a finger then the other.

Her hips bucked in response and she moaned, "You — in me. Now!"

Reaching between their bodies, Kaidan unfastened his pants, pushing down his boxer briefs and pants just far enough to free his rock hard cock. He was past ready for this, he ached to feel her. The head of his weeping cock lined up perfectly with the heat of Shepard's opening. "Ready?"

Nodding her head, Shepard grabbed his shoulders and held on.

In one powerful stroke, Kaidan sheathed himself deeply inside of Shepard's body. Crushing their lips together in a rough kiss, Kaidan swallowed her shout of passion as he stretched and filled every inch of her.

When she finally broke the kiss, Shepard demanded, "Now — move."

"Yes ma'am," he replied, pulling out slowly and thrusting back into her heat.

He'd do anything for her. He'd lost Shepard over Alchera. Kaidan had watched as the Normandy exploded and streak across the sky, taking his life with it. He never thought he'd get another chance, but by some miracle, she was here in his arms again and he swore he'd never screw it up again. He'd die first.

"Yes," Shepard murmured, digging her nails into his shoulders and matching his pace.

"Careful," Kaidan hissed in pleasurable pain, thrusting into her again.

Arching her back against the wall, she pressed her center into him. "Harder!"

Kaidan set a demanding pace, slamming into her core as hard as possible, over and over. The force of his thrusts making Shepard's body crash into the wall, then rebound and meet his next thrust into her. With each powerful stroke he drove his cock deeper into her willing body and took them closer and closer to the very edge of passion.

Panting and nearly delirious with passion, Shepard felt a telling warmth gathering in her belly. "K…gonna…c…cum."

Not slowing his pace, Kaidan wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her down into each powerful thrust of his hips, each going impossibly deeper inside of her.

"Yes!" she screamed as she came, unraveling at the seams. She felt her he unraveled and came hard, her walls clamping down around Kaidan's cock, which was still buried deep inside of her body.

"God!" Kaidan cried out. With a last shuddering stroke he came, spilling himself deeply inside of her body, filling her with his heat.

They rode out the crashing waves of pleasure together, holding tight to each other.

Finally spent, Kaidan let go of Shepard's legs so she could stand up. Resting a forearm to support his weight, he propped himself up and tried to catch his breath.

"Kaidan," Shepard panted after a long, quiet moment.

"I know," he answered, nuzzling her neck gently, "I know."

Twining her fingers in the curls on his head, Shepard whispered, "You know I'll have to thank Joker later."

"Hmmmm?" he questioned, kissing her neck.

"That was mind blowing."

"Was?" he questioned. They slipped to the floor, wrapped up together. "The night is still young and if we're stuck in here, I plan on making the most of it…."

The End…

A/N: Thanks all! This was a blast! AlyssAlenko, hope you love it as much as I loved writing it!

#Mass Effect #fshenko #Kaidan Alenko #female shepard #2017 MEFFW Secret Santa Exchange #fanfiction #alyssalenko

[theinkquiry]

Popular | Chapter 1

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Avenger!Reader

Prompt: Tony has made a bet to see who could end up with the most fans, out of the Avengers, by the end of the month. Bucky takes it just to piss Sam off and Reader really wants to prove that she isn’t the least popular. Bucky and Reader team up to be a fake couple in order to beat the other Avengers, agreeing to split the prize at the end. Will it all work out?

A/N: My first planned out series!  I hope you all like it because there are going to be a lot more parts. This will probably be the main plan for most of July and August. Feedback is always appreciated.

Warnings: None

Series Masterlist

Tony’s Game

On simmering hot summer days, people tend to get creative. Much of the most brilliant inventions created were made out of boredom. At least, you assumed that to be true. Searches on Google to prove the validity of that statement drew a blank, but you still stand by it. Today was one of the many many boiling July days that forced you to stay indoors all day long. Going out in hundred degrees weather was hard enough. Going out in Manhattan in hundred degrees weather? You’d rather watch Steve try to take dance lessons again.

“Remind me why I even bothered to come here instead of staying in my room again?” Sam asked. He and a few other fellow Avengers were sprawled out on the couch of the communal rec room. Namely Steve, Wanda, and Bucky.

“Tony said he had a special surprise for us,” you shrugged. You were already sprawled out on another couch, taking up the entirety of it. You had been watching TV while snacking on chips since there was nothing better to do.

Nat walked in right as the commercial break came on. “I see I wasn’t the only one to get Tony’s message.” Clint followed right behind, still in uniform from his latest mission.

“What do you think he’s got planned?” Wanda wonders.

“Hopefully not another deadly world-dominating robot,” Sam snickered. Steve elbowed him, a stern fatherly look on his face. Bucky laughed as Sam recoiled from the hit. “What’s so funny?”

“Clearly not you,” Bucky replied. Sam feigned offense and punched the soldier on the arm, only to hear the sound of metal.

“Ow!”

Bucky only laughed harder and smirked. “Wrong arm, birdbrain.”

“I thought that was Clint’s nickname,” Nat observed.

Clint’s voice could be heard as he rummaged through the fridge for food. “Hey, don’t drag me back into another one of their squabbles.”

Steve opened his mouth to interject, but another voice interrupted. “That’s enough!” He blinked twice before closing his mouth and leaning back on the seat. “Couldn’t have said it better myself, Tony.”

The coordinator of the meeting waltzed in like he always did when he had an invention to reveal. Vision trailed after, conveniently taking a seat next to Wanda. You thought it was funny how Wanda could seem to read everyone’s mind except her own.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Wanda said out loud. You must have been thinking aloud again. She looked at you, eyes narrowing. All you could do was shrug and look expectantly towards Tony.

“Are you children done yet?” Tony crossed his arms.

“Just get to the point, Stark.” Nat tapped her foot impatiently.

“And hurry! House Hunters just came back on,” you inform everyone.

Sam rolled his eyes. “I swear only you and Tony would enjoy watching home renovation and real estate television.”

“I have an announcement if you haven’t forgotten!” Tony interjected for the umpteenth time. “And don’t worry, Y/N. You know I have it all taped ahead of time. Anyway, I am here to reveal…this!” He held up a small metallic box about the size of an iPhone. The A single, shiny golden button was the only thing on it. As soon as it was pushed, a robotic voice sounded through the room.

“Calculating statistics of Avengers…Captain America…Iron Man…The Hulk…”

Everyone looked at each other, then at Tony. “What is this?” Steve sounded quite concerned.

“Hush, Cap. You’ll see soon enough,” Tony shushed. The voice continued to rattle off names as the TV was replaced with a white screen, a circular loading icon in the center spinning and spinning.

“Calculations, complete.”

The screen faded into one filled with a ranking list, a few photographs, and a lot of numbers. The room was silent as everyone scanned the list, not leaving out a single detail. It was bizarre, even a little extraordinary. There for all to see was an “Avengers By Popularity” ranking list of you and your fellow teammates.

Captain America (Steve Rogers) 

Iron Man (Tony Stark)

Hawkeye (Clint Barton)

Black Widow (Natasha Romanoff)

Falcon (Sam Wilson)

Thor (Thor Odinson)

Scarlet Witch (Wanda Maximoff)

Vision (Vision)

H/N (Y/N L/N)

James Barnes (Bucky)

“I decided to take some liberties and exclude any of the Avengers who are otherwise too busy for this activity or not available,” Tony shrugged.

Steve looked around, surveying everyone’s faces. “Tony, explain the meaning of this. I don’t see why this invention was necessary and is doing more harm than good at this rate.”

“Aha, that’s part two. I’m announcing a competition!” Tony beamed. “You see, each one of you has come to me within the past month just asking for some. ‘Tony, I want a new computer’, 'I want this I want that’ well I’m going to give it to you in a sense.”

“That makes no sense whatsoever,” Sam frowned.

“Let me rephrase, I’ll give you all an opportunity! This list is calculated based on all the stuff that makes people popular. I’m talking photo ops, advertising gigs, social media followers, you name it and it is counted. I’m proposing a competition to get rid of all this boredom nonsense and to finally get some of you off my back. Let the timer begin!”

He pushed the button again, and it revealed a countdown clock. Thirty days, twenty-three hours, fifty-nine minutes and counting.

“Whoever ends up being the most popular by the end of the month gets whatever they originally asked me for. If by some rare chance you didn’t ask for anything, I’ll give you anything you want within reason. And if I win, which I probably will, then it’s just less work for me. How does that sound?”

The room immediately burst into questions.

“Why did you do this?”

“Do I finally get a private jet?”

“I bet I could beat Tony.”

“Wait, so we can get anything?”

All the clamor died down as Steve approached Tony. His chest was puffed out like it usually was when he was going to confront someone. “Tony. Explain yourself. Now.”

“Listen, I think it’ll be a great learning experience for everyone and be a lot of fun. You always talk about improving ourselves and motivation. Think about it. We’ll be able to get out there and just be present! Help others and all that nice stuff that you always like. Doesn’t that sound nice?” Tony pointed out.

You could’ve heard a pin drop in that room. All eyes were on Steve. You knew if he was on board, then everyone else would be too. You could already see the excitement in their eyes. Nat and Clint probably already had their own competition going on with the way they were communicating with just facial expressions. You weren’t so sure about the whole thing yourself. You were pretty much tied last, only since Bucky was the actual last. But…the idea of getting what you wanted did sound awfully appealing.

“Only if every single person is one hundred percent okay with this.” Steve looked around the room, eyes stopping on Bucky. He looked conflicted, switching from staring at his score to Steve.

“I’m okay with it,” Bucky answered. Steve’s eyes widened. Clint almost choked on the water he was drinking. “If…”

“We’re adding in 'ifs’ now?” Sam muttered. Bucky narrowed his eyes at him.

“If I beat him, Sam will wear a 'loser’ shirt and not bother me for two weeks,” Bucky finished. Sam burst out into laughter, but Bucky didn’t seem deterred. “Do we have a deal or what?”

Sam wiped a tear from his eye. “Oh, you got a deal alright. Good luck catching up, Barnes.”

“Well if he’s agreed to it I think I am too,” Nat cuts in. Clint nods in agreement. Steve surveys the room, making sure everyone was comfortable with the contest. That only left you.

“Well, Y/N?” Steve looks to you. “You in?”

You look around. Everyone is just waiting for your answer. You glance at the screen again. Big letters shouting out at you. Number nine. Second to last. If you do this, you can’t go down. You need to improve. You need to get out more. You’re going to get that prize. “I’m in.”

Tony clapped his hands. “It’s settled then! You should all probably start booking your schedules instead of waiting for second-rate missions. We just wasted the last ten minutes or so squabbling.”

In an instant, the dead room was alive with scurries and chatter. Nat and Clint raced out as fast as possible, shouting to each other about all the popularity-inducing activities they were going to do. Tony exited like he entered, with grandeur and a knowing smirk. Wanda and Vision were still talking quietly, probably to do some planning and flirting like they always did.

Sam gave Bucky one last look and got up laughing. “Good luck.” He gave him a fake salute. “You’ll need it!”

You could hear Bucky growl. The TV screen flashed back to House Hunters. The couple finally decided on a nice beachfront condo. It looked amazing. You wished your room could look as nice as their master bedroom.

“So,” Bucky spoke first, a surprise to you both. “What do you have planned?”

“Trying to steal my ideas, Barnes?” You tease. Bucky sighed, rubbing neck.

“We’re not getting anywhere, are we?” Bucky frowned. You tilted your head in confusion.

“What do you mean?” Sure you weren’t the first person that comes to mind when people think of the Avengers, but you could improve…somehow.

“Listen, Y/N. We’re both pretty much dead last, and there’s no way we can beat anyone else working alone. I mean, you don’t have a plan. I know because you didn’t run out to hatch schemes like everyone else did. The only way we can win is if we work together,” Bucky proposes.

“Hey, I can be plenty charismatic and attention-grabbing on my own,” you argue. Bucky raised a brow.

“You spent the last week watching HGTV.”

“The houses just look so nice!” You slump into the couch. “Alright fine, we can work together to climb the ranks, but how? I mean, Steve is already America’s favorite golden boy. Tony has infinite riches. Nat and Clint will come up with something to try and beat each other out. Even Wanda and Vision have attracted a huge shipping following online!” You toss your hands up in the air. “How can we compete with shipping?”

Bucky rubbed his chin, thinking hard. He finally snapped his fingers. “That’s it!”

“What is?”

“Date me!” He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Listen Bucky, I think you’re really hot but-”

“No, I mean like we should pretend to be a couple. You said shipping was the thing that gets the fans, right? Well, if we just become a better couple than everyone else, I’m sure people will flock to us!” Bucky explains. “Wait, you think I’m attractive?”

“That’s beside the point,” you wave his comment off. “You really think we can pull this off? Vision and Wanda are adorable!”

“But they’re not dating yet. We can beat them to it and become like a power-couple! Like the ones on TV,” Bucky pleads.

You laugh and shake your head. “You and Steve have been watching way too much reality television. Is this what Stark told you to research this time?”

Bucky looked a bit embarrassed. “Well, are you in or what? Come on, I know you’ve been asking Tony for room upgrades.”

You bite your lip and think hard. You do really like the idea of getting a sweet new suite. Plus, this was the first time Bucky has actually tried reaching out to you. You’ve tried making progress, but he’s always been so reserved up until recently. This could be the strange start of a beautiful friendship.

“I’m in, Barnes. Steve did always say you were a ladies man,” you chuckle.

“Great!” He beams. Just seeing him this excited made you a lot more motivated to win. “Because I already have a few ideas for our first date…”

(If you would like to be tagged, please send me an ask instead of PM. Thank you!)

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky series #bucky barnes imagine #bucky imagine #marvel #the avengers #avengers #marvel imagine #avengers imagine #marvel oneshot #avengers oneshot #reader insert

[profound-boning]

Huge GTKM Game

I’ve been tagged in several of these over the past several months I know I’m a mess I’m sorry and I’m finally going to answer some of them!

Tagged by @thecuriouscrusader​ @blissfulcastiel​ @glowingdean​ @casbakespie​ @adoringjensen​

no I’m not tagging anyone else in this monstrosity lol

Relationship status: Taken, just celebrated five years!

Lipstick or Chapstick: I wore lipstick every day when I was in college but now that I’m living with Boyfriend it’d be a big ol waste of time and money and also messy

Last Song I Listened To: uhhh the Star Wars: The Force Awakens soundtrack because I watched that yesterday?

Last Movie I Watched: lol see above

Favorite Color: Pink

Top 3 Favorite Shows: Supernatural, SKAM, and Brooklyn Nine-Nine (I really need to get caught up on those last two damn)

If I had a cat what would I name it: Ooooh see that totally depends I’d have to meet them in person first

Height: 5 foot 3 and one half

Hogwarts House: SLYTHERIN HISS HISS MOTHERFUCKERS

Time right now: 17:09

Average hours of sleep: lmao like under 7 right now because I keep staying up late and then waking up early by force of habit??

Favorite number: 47

Last thing I Googled: ”where do psychiatrists work” for a fic

Fictional character you want as your younger sibling: I want this answer to be Charlie Bradbury except I’d want her to be my OLDER sibling... so let’s go with Rey (sw: tfa) or Isak Valtersen (SKAM)

Blankets I sleep with: Sheet and comforter

Favorite band/artists: Oh man lmao uh Taylor Swift, Fall Out Boy, Paramore, Adele, Ed Sheeran, twenty one pilots, the Arctic Monkeys, others?

Dream trip: GREECE I want to cruise around the islands and see all the history and art

What am I wearing right now: A Corgi crop top and my new THINX undies (all y’all menstruating folk I literally cannot recommend these highly enough)

When I made this blog: THIS blog was like September/October of 2015 I think? I’m too lazy to pull up my archive at the moment. But I’ve been on and off of tumblr since 2011.

How many blogs I follow: 330ish I believe? Again too lazy to open a new tab. It’s a mix of spn blogs and multifandom ones as well as a handful of lovely mutuals :)

What do I post about: On this blog, only supernatural, mostly destiel and brothers and my tears

Pick a word that starts with the first letter of your real name and ends with the first letter of your url: sap

Do I get asks on a daily basis: lmfao no

Why did I choose my tumblr url: I looove my url more than anything and tbh it happened because I came across a text post right when I got into spn (2015) about how dean and cas need to start profoundly boning and here we are :’)

My aesthetic: hot tea brewing in the kitchen, you can see the flowers on the balcony from where you’re standing at the counter, slouchy sweater brushing bare thighs, curls falling loose from your top knot. toes in the sand at the edge of the water, wide brimmed hat casting a shadow on your nose, smiling so big your eyes crinkle in the corners, licking ice cream from your fingertips. lipstick tacky on your bottom lip, eyelashes painted dark, skirt clinging to your ass, swaying your hips to the rhythm, the room is dark and smoky, never touching anyone but relishing that their eyes are on you.

Last show you watched: We don’t have cable so I don’t get to watch shows live on tv. Last time I watched any tv show I believe was Kitchen Nightmares on Hulu!

Last book you read: tbfh it’s been a long time, I’ve been reading mostly fanfiction for a while now. I just finished reading a two part series called “all the stars above and below” a finnpoe au by AndreaLyn on ao3 here

Last thing you ate: Applesauce

If you could be anywhere right now, where would it be?: This is strange question because I’m in my very nice bed and I don’t really want to be anywhere else at the moment but like in general Boyfriend and I are planning on moving to England so I’d like to be there? Kind of? Or like... sitting on a beach somewhere? Sitting next to my sister? I’m not really longing to be somewhere else so much as wanting some things to be a little different? But on the whole I’m extremely satisfied with where I’m at right now.

When would you time travel to?: lol fuck any time period before this one (modern medicine and some more rights are v nice) so I’ll say 3017 but that’s assuming tr*mp doesn’t get our entire goddamned planet fucking destroyed and also that people aren’t asshats to each other based on social constructions and institutions like gender and religion and identity and also ethnic backgrounds :’)

First thing you would do with lottery money: Pay for car repairs and for some of my sister’s university

Character you would hang out with for a day: Castiel or Poe Dameron

Pets: None because we move too much!

First Fandom I joined: Oh boy this is a good question. I was just talking to Boyfriend the other day about how Han/Leia was my first OTP before I really knew what that meant? Like watching the movies as a kid I felt in my heart like “yes they’re so good together please be happy together forever” I wasn’t on the Internet at all until 2008, and not on tumblr until 2011, and not on stan twitter until earlier this year lmao. When I started the tumblr, it was mostly disney and then avengers when it came out? This blog is my first like dedicated I’M IN A FANDOM venture.

Favorite book: I hate this question because I know someone out there will hate me for it *squints* but the honest truth is “The Outsiders” by S.E. Hinton it’s been my favorite since seventh fucking grade so fight me about it!!!1!

Worst thing you’ve ever eaten/tasted: Oh no this is horrible because I’m a fucking picky ass eater lmao uhhh I hate rice?? bad texture.

What class do you wish you paid more attention to in school? This is not the answer you’re looking for but I had some severe problems in my life when I was in high school so really I wish I had been able to pay more attention to everything in school. I would literally time travel back and redo it all if I could. I would have taken my government classes more seriously, gotten more into my history classes, and would have signed up for AP Art History because I fucking wanted to but I didn’t. If those problems hadn’t been there or hadn’t affected me so badly I would have gotten better grades and could have chosen something different for college. In college, I might have looked for something more like anthropology and focused more on language in a cultural and socio-historical context and not just language and teaching language. Similarly without those problems I would have been able to pay better attention in college and have gotten better grades, done more academic research, etc.

Just hypothetically, if you could get rid of one entire species and not have it screw up the ecosystem at all, what would it be? Humans :’) we’re the worst.

First foray into fanfic? How To Train Your Dragon on that fanfiction net website. I remember seeing the second film and feeling so, like, when are those two going to kiss and get married and live happily ever after? I needed that closure. Then I discovered AUs and ~lemons~ and then I was reading Frozen fic for a while(??) and finally Supernatural. Apple Pie Life by @heyacas​ was the first fic I read on ao3 after it was recced to me and I never looked back.

You can have unlimited anything from a magic cookie jar (item must fit in a standard sized cookie jar) with the caveat that you cannot monetarily profit from it. Like unlimited cash or things you would sell for cash. What’s in the jar? Firstly what the fuck is a standard sized cookie jar. Secondly this wording prompts me to say... cookies

What do you think about Bill Nye the Science Guy? President Nye 2020

That one book you will never read enough times? Other than the one I mentioned above I’ve read Princess Academy by Shannon Hale a million times and I love it so, so much

What’s something super popular that you just. don’t. get? This is the first thing that comes to mind because frankly there are several things that could go here but I’m answering Videos Of People Getting Hurt. Seriously. Why do I want to watch someone fall off of something or worse get pushed/tricked/otherwise manipulated into doing something I can see (or worse, hear) is painful for them? I can’t stand it.

What’s your super power? Not like telepathy (unless you really have telepathy…), but like. what’s the one thing that you’re known for? Uh... nothing probably? I’m not memorable

What’s that story you tell at parties or whatnot to impress people? I am literally the worst at parties? and impressing people? One story I like to tell is how Boyfriend and I met!

What’s the furthest you’ve ever been from home? Home is an extremely fluid concept. Right now I am about 825 miles from the house that I lived in for about 17 years, Boyfriend is at his work around 16 miles away, 5000 miles from Spain... I could go on.

Hobbies: Writing and reading fanfiction

Favorite place: Favorite beach: Lagos, Portugal. Favorite city: Barcelona, Spain. Favorite museum: the Louvre. Favorite church: Saint Mary of the Angels in Winona, Minnesota. Favorite restaurant: This brunch place we found while wandering in Paris, France. Alternate answers: Boyfriend’s snuggles.

Movie you are most excited about for next year: I haven’t seen Spiderman: Homecoming yet but I’m excited to do so! Also STAR WARS THE LAST JEDI

Beanies or Scarves? Scarves

Last person you texted? Boyfriend

Favorite food? Pasta

Favorite season and why? Summer! Because winter is the FUCKING WORST!

Left Twix or Right? Did you mean: belongs in the trash?

Who would win in a fight: Captain America OR Captain Kirk? Okay like Captain America because? superserum? But James T. Kirk is my precious babe I don’t want them to fight :3

Avengers or X-Men? Avengers

Dream Concert: Go back to my Favorite Artists answer and put all of them together in one show :’)

What fictional world/universe would you want to spend a week in: Either Harry Potter’s or Rick Riordan’s (but only if I’m friends with The Squad)

Last video game played: Okay on the real it’s probably Dance Dance Revolution from, like, 2006

#wow this was so long forgive me #I love all you beans #tag game

[fiirelords]

TAG GAME BONANZA!!

I’ve been tagged in a shit-ton of games and I haven't done them bc I’ve been busy (but the real reason is bc I’m trash™) so I’m just gonna post them all here under the cut; if you tagged me in any of these, I’m tagging you to do another one, choose whichever you like (or all of them lmao)(or anyone else who wants to do it, just say I tagged you lmao)(also people from nataliesroyalfamily and my bimblebubble fam u are tagged) do feel obligated to do it, this is not optional. (there’s a dot at the end, that’s how we know it’s official)(also I might have already answered to yours before, but idk to which (oops) so yeah :)) I spent a lot of time on this, I’m exhausted, please at least read it and get to know a bit more about me :))

Rules: Answer the 20 questions and tag 20 amazing followers you’d like to get to know better!

Tagged by: @opuggno​, @sirjsblack​ @njmphadora​ @simplywolfstar​, @tlnagoldsteln​ @billspotts​ <33

Name | ana Nicknames | most people just call me ana or *cringes* ana lourdes *sigh*, my mom calls me anita, my friends call me shitface, dog or bitch, @njmphadora​ and @findfyre​ call me ana banana (but I secretly, ok, it’s not that much of a secret, but I hate bananas)(or any fruit for that matter)(shhhhhh don’t tell them!!),and that’s about it Zodiac sign | aquarius Height | 1.65m or 5′4′’ Orientation | Straight Ethnicity | latin american Hogwarts house | ravenclaw  Favourite fruit | limes Favourite season | idk ok?? either fall or winter Favourite book | harry potter Favourite flower | I’m not really a flower person, I just don’t get it?? they’re just plants that smell like plants lmao Favourite scent | cleaning supplies, permanent marker (u know, the ones that smell nice), books (old and new), lime juice lmao, freshly baked cookies, fries (ofc) and idk what else Favourite colour | idk. black?? white?? it might be white bc it’s so neat?? but black is bold af asdfghds idk Favourite animal | cats?? turtles?? the fish emoji?? foxes (like dayumn) idk Last thing you googled | froot loops (my friends thought it was fruit loops lmao) Coffee, tea, or hot cocoa | ICED tea, hot cocoa, never coffee Average sleep hours | 3-4 hours (I should sleep more Cat or dog person | both lol (I love pets!!) Favourite fictional character | James Potter?? Number of blankets you sleep with | one Dream trip | london Blog created | December 23rd 2016 Number of followers | 1936 (excited but idk what to do for 2k!!)

RULES: answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions. I was tagged by @quidditchplayer​, @hagridsrubeus​ <33

1. coke or pepsi: COKE!!! (VANILLA COKE IS LIFE!!)

2. disney or dreamworks: disney


3. coffee or tea: ICED tea


4. books or movies: both! but tbh I have been watching a lot more movies than I have been reading books!


5. windows or mac: mac 

6. dc or marvel: MARVEL!! (sorry dc!! I still love you <3)

7. x-box or playstation: where’s nintendo though?? bc I still own a super nintendo lmao and a nintendo 64 does this make me hipster/vintage or smth??

8. dragon age or mass effect: … *cricket chirps in the distance* idk what this is lol


9. night owl or early riser: definitely night owl

10. cards or chess: cards
!! (I actually have a playing card collection lmao)

11. chocolate or vanilla: most of the time chocolate

12. vans or converse: converse


13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar: ummmm *more crickets come bc idk what this is either*


14. fluff or angst: angst I guess?? idk, it’s more entertaining lmao

15. beach or forest: idk, sorry… beach??

16. dogs or cats: both!!

17. clear skies or rain: clear skies


18. cooking or eating out: getting food (specially junk food)(McDonalds is life!!)

19. spicy food or mild food: I don’t eat spicy food, but I do eat this spicy sauce powder called tajín, I love it!! I have an obsession and it’s getting out of hand!! I have like 4 regular sized bottles, a big one, and a fun sized one…

20. halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: we don’t celebrate halloween (which sucks) so christmas 

21. would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: a little too cold
!!

22. if you could have a superpower, what would it be? shape shifting (I’m copying megan’s answer lol)(we are clones, so I guess it’s ok)


23. animation or live action: both!1 I am not choosing here!! just no!!!!

24. paragon or renegade: *more crickets come in, they start getting cozy, bring out some wine bc a party is starting*

25. baths or showers: I don’t understand baths tbh (just like music and flowers…) so showers


26. team cap or team ironman: team avengers!! (I may or may not have cheated…)


27. fantasy or sci-fi: fantasy??

28. do you have three or four favourite quotes, if so what are they: I don’t get quotes either lol I’m bad at humaning

29. youtube or netflix: both!! I’m such youtube trash tbh and netflix as well

30. harry potter or percy jackson: H A R R Y  P O T T E R !!!! (duh)

31. when do you feel accomplished: when I win
 (omg megan!! same!!)

32. star wars or star trek: S T A R  W A R S


33. paperback books or hardcover books: hardcover (I can hit so many people with them)(my friends love me ok??)

34. to live in a world without literature or without music?: music lol

35. who was the last person to make you laugh? @siriusblsck​ with her twitching eye

36: city or countryside? city

37: favorite chips? Caribas


38: pants or dresses? los pantalones


39: libraries or museums? idk, libraries I guess


40: character driven stories or plot driven stories? idk idk idk

41: fairy tales or mythology? not much into these

42. pen or pencil? PENS!! but math is done in pencil people!! 

43. toilet paper over or under? OVER IS THE RIGHT WAY!!!

Rules: tag nine people you want to get to know better

tagged by @hogwarts-underground​, @lilyevcnz​, @billspotts​, @tonqs​, @shriekingshxck, @thatmarauderer :)

Relationship Status: single

Favourite Colour: black or white probably

Lipstick or Chapstick: chapstick, I don’t own any makeup

Last Song I Listened To: idk

Top 3 TV Shows: I don’t have a top 3 but you can check out my common room aka tv room and see which ones I have in the faves category I guess

Top 3 Characters: don’t know (I’m bad at faves)

Top 3 Ships: HP wise Jily, Romione, Wolfstar

Books I’m Currently Reading: the same 3 books I’ve been “reading” since december lmao, What if? by Randall Monroe, The Thing Explainer by Randall monroe as well and Gravity Falls Journal 3 (such trash™)

i was tagged by @lunalocegood​

rules:

you can only say guilty or innocent.

you are not allowed to explain anything unless someone asks you.

tag 10 people.

asked someone to marry you? innocent kissed one of your friends? innocent danced on a table in a bar or tavern? innocent ever told a lie? guilty had feelings for someone whom you can’t have? innocent ever kissed someone of the opposite sex? innocent ever kissed someone of the same sex? innocent kissed a picture? innocent slept in until 5pm? guilty af fallen asleep at work or school? guilty af held a snake? innocent been suspended from school? innocent stolen something? innocent done something you regret? guilty laughed until something you were drinking came out of your nose? guilty caught a snowflake on your tongue? innocent kissed in the rain? innocent sat on a roof top? guilty sang in the shower? innocent been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? innocent slept naked? innocent made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? innocent been in a band? guilty (does backup singer for 1 song count?) shot a gun? innocent donated blood? innocent eaten alligator meat? innocent eaten cheesecake? guilty have/had a tattoo? innocent been too honest? guilty ruined a surprise? innocent ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you can’t walk after? guilty erased someone in your friends list? innocent dressed in a man’s clothes? guilty dressed in a woman’s clothes? guilty joined a pageant? innocent been told that you’re beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? guilty?? still have communication with your ex? innocent cheated on someone? innocent got totally drunk one night when you had an important exam the next morning? innocent a total stranger treated you by paying your fare? innocent got so angry that you cried? guilty tried to stay away from someone for their own good? innocent actually murdered someone? innocent thought about mass murder? innocent actually committed a mass murder? innocent rode in a stranger’s vehicle? guilty (do cabs count?) stalked someone? guilty had a girlfriend? innocent had a boyfriend? innocent totally drunk during a holiday? innocent

tell us one favorite character from ten shows and tag people

tagged by @njmphadora​, @zabiniblaisee​

friends: chandler bing

sherlock: sherlock

gossip girl: blair waldorf

himym: barney stinson

parks and rec: andy dwyer or april ludgate

the office: dwight schrute 

white collar: neal caffrey

pretty little liars: aria montgomery

suits: mike ross

brooklyn nine-nine: jake peralta

put your music on shuffle, list the first 9 songs and your favorite lyrics from each, then tag 9 people

i was tagged by @njmphadora​, @tonqs​, @euphemiapottcr​ @zabiniblaisee, @percweasly, @lilyevcnz, @anything-with-strawberries (I know it’s not the same game!! but I’m tired lmao)

sidenote: I’m gonna suck at this one bc I don’t listen to music :) (also I swear I have some other music ok?? my phone just really wanted me to listen to la la land and popstar lmao)

1. confucio - el trio de los tres

era un chino japonés, era el gran maestro kong, ganaba en el boliche, badmintong y ping pong, en la pista de baile no tenía comparación, ser el mejor en todo era su ilusión

2. another day of sun - la la land soundtrack

without a nickel to my name, hopped a bus, here I came, could be brave or just insane, we’ll have to see

3. mona lisa - the lonely island

mona lisa, you’re an overrated piece of shit, with your terrible style and your dead shark eyes, and a smirk like your hiding a dick what the fuck is this garbage?

4. city of stars - la la land

A look in somebody’s eyes To light up the skies To open the world and send it reeling A voice that says, I’ll be here And you’ll be alright

5. incredible thoughts - the lonely island

TV is free, but what is the cost? We have GPS and yet, we’re still lost A carrot in the desert, a camel in the garden A man with giant ears begging your pardon bonus: Imagine if a fish could play guitar And also sing, it would sound bizarre like My name is Mr. Fish These guys thoughts have granted my wish

6. rap god - eminem

But look at the accolades these skills brung me Full of myself, but still hungry I bully myself ‘cause I make me do what I put my mind to When I’m a million leagues above you Ill when I speak in tongues But it’s still tongue-and-cheek, fuck you

7. hey there delilah - plain white t’s

Hey there Delilah What’s it like in New York City? I’m a thousand miles away But girl, tonight you look so pretty Yes you do Times Square can’t shine as bright as you I swear it’s true

8. the greatest - sia

I’m free to be the greatest, I’m alive I’m free to be the greatest here tonight, the greatest The greatest, the greatest alive The greatest, the greatest alive

9. I’m so humble - the lonely island

I’ve got it all and I’m gettin’ more But I never fall, beat 'em all Cause you know I’m so humble I’m so humble, I’m so humble I’m a superstar, I kick down the door Got the money and the girls And I’m also so humble I’m so humble I’m so humble, I’m so humble

tagged by @fleuvrdelacour​, @ameljiabones​, @kingscross​, @thatmarauderer, @opuggno

APPEARANCE:

I am 5′7″ or taller

I wear glasses

I have at least one tattoo

I have at least one piercing.

I have blonde hair

I have brown eyes

I have short hair

My abs are at least somewhat defined (kinda lol)(I’m fatty bc junk food)

I have or have had braces

There is something I would change about the way I look

PERSONALITY:

My Hogwarts house is: Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Slytherin

I am an introvert

I like meeting new people (sometimes)

People tell me that I’m funny (More like I tell myself that I’m funny)

Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me

I enjoy physical challenges

I enjoy mental challenges

I’m playfully rude with people I know well

I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it

There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY:

I can sing

I can play an instrument

I can do over 30 pushups without stopping

I’m a fast runner

I can draw well

I have a good memory

I’m good at doing math in my head

I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute

I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling

I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch

I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES:

I enjoy playing sports

I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else

I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else

I have learned a new song in the past week

I work out at least once a week

I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months

I have drawn something in the past month

I enjoy writing

Fandoms are my #1 passion

I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES:

I have had my first kiss

I have had alcohol

I have scored the winning goal in a sports game

I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting

I have been at an overnight event

I have been in a taxi

I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year

I have beaten a video game in one day

I have visited another country

I have been to one of my favourite band’s concerts

RELATIONSHIP:

I’m in a relationship

I have a celebrity crush

I have a crush on someone I know (counting crush as my boyfriend)

I have been in at least 3 relationships

I have never been in a relationship

I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them

I get crushes easily

I have had a crush on someone for over a year

I have been in a relationship for at least a year

I have had feelings for a friend

MY LIFE:

I have at least one person I consider a “best friend”

I live close to my school

My parents are still together

I have at least one sibling

I live in the United States

There is snow right now where I live

I have hung out with a friend outside of school in the past month

I have a smartphone

I have at least 15 CDs

I share my room with someone

RANDOM SHIT:

I have breakdanced

I know a person named Jamie

I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce

I have dyed my hair

I’m listening to one song on repeat right now

I have punched someone in the past week

I know someone who has gone to jail

I have broken a bone

I have eaten a waffle today

I know what I want to do with my life

I speak at least 2 languages fluently

I have made a new friend in the past year

get to know me (better!)

I was tagged by @quidditchplayer​, @kingscross​, 

Blog: @oblviqte​

(nick)Name(s): ana, anita, shitface, ana banana (I still don’t like them…)

Preferred Gender: female

Star Sign: aquarius

Height: 1.65m or 5'4”

Sexual Orientation: straight

Favourite Colour: black or white or both

Favourite Animal: all animals!!

Cat or Dog person: both!!

Favourite Fictional Characters: ugh idk lmao

Number of blankets I sleep with: one

Favourite Singer/Band: none

Dream Trip: london

Dream Job: systems engineer/ programming, coding all that jazz 

When was this blog created: december 23rd 2016

What made you create this Blog? HP IS LIFE!!

rules: list ten of your favorite people from ten different fandoms and then tag ten people!

I was tagged by @ameljiabones​

1. James Potter (HP) 2. I can’t choose an avenger, I’m sorry I love them all (MARVEL) 3. eleven (STRANGER THINGS) 4. Jake Peralta (B99) 5. Dipper and Mabel (bc they are both me af!!) (GRAVITY FALLS) 6. Marty McFly (BTTF) 7. Peeta Melark (HUNGER GAMES) 8. aslan (NARNIA) 9.  Sherlock (SHERLOCK) 10. Spencer Reid (my bby omg I love him so much why is he not real??!)(CRIMINAL MINDS)

I was tagged by @billspotts​

Star sign: Aquarius

Favourite musical artists: I’m super weird and don’t really listen to music aah

Song stuck in my head: the la laland soundtrack is stuck on my mind forever!! (pls send help)(I hum while I take exams and people look at me!! heeeellplp!!)

Last movie i watched:  idk man, the last movie I saw was probably la la land lmao (I need to watch some movies!!)

Last TV show i watched: Skam

Hogwarts house: Ravenclaw

Lucky number: 3, 7, 618

Favourite characters: at this point just scroll up lmao

Favourite fruit: limes

Favourite season: winter or fall

Favourite colour: black and/or white

Favourite animal: all animals

Coffee, tea or hot cocoa: ICED tea

Cat or dog person: both!!

Dream trip: london!!

tagged by @kingscross​, @hufflefck

What is your name? ana

How old are you? XVI

What houses are you in? ravenclaw

What kind of blog do you run?  idk, HP/multifandom I guess??

Your patronus? rottweiler

wand core? phoenix feather

Your Pottermore house results? Ravenclaw

Ilvermorny house? Wampus

Which book is your favourite? idk

Which book is your least favourite? hbp??

Which movie is your favourite? idk

What is your least favourite movie? sfx wise ps lmao but leaving that aside, idk

What is your favourite quote?I’m not a quote person

Favourite Potter? James Potter

Favourite Weasley? Fred weasley or Charlie, Charlie is cool

Favourite Malfoy? Draco Malfoy.

Favourite Black? Sirius Black.

Favourite Marauder? Remus Lupin (bc I already put everyone else lmao)

Favourite Golden Trio? Hermione Granger.

Favourite Silver Trio? Neville Longbottom

Favourite female character? Hermione Granger

Favourite male character? James 

Favourite professor? Lupin ofc

Favourite House? Ravenclaw

Which character do you dislike the most? snape and umbridge, but snape more, fuck that guy

What ships are your favourite? Jily, Romione, Wolfstar, Remadora (but not the way it happened in the books), Deamus, flintwood, Hinny

If you could make up your own house what would be the traits?tbh, idk

What would your Amortentia smell like? permanent markers, books, lime juice, freshly baked cookies

Which do you prefer, owls, cats or a frog? Owls are more practical and all, but we would probably have a family owl and I’m trash™ for cats

Which is your favourite Harry Potter era? marauder era

5 things tag

tagged by @burkesandborgin​

5 things you’ll find in my bag (I don’t carry a bag, unless my backpack counts…)

my phone

my Gravity Falls Journal 3 

my bag of sharpies

my pencilcase

my phone’s charger

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom

my cat

tajín

stuffed animals

my playing card collection

some books

5 things I’ve always wanted to do in life

get a tattoo

go to london

become successful

be part of a film/play production or smth

own a cool house

5 things that make me happy

tv shows

friends

making stuff

eating lmao

HP

5 things I’m currently into

decoding/deciphering ciphers/codes that stuff

plain colors

minimalist stuff

annoying people

making people laugh (but that’s always lmao)

5 things on my to-do list

watch all the movies I haven’t watched

catching up with tv shows

making a shit-ton of moodboards

buy swimsuits/beach clothes

send college recomendation letter info to some teachers 

5 things people may not know about me

I love plantain chips

I have a birthmark on my right knee and everyone thinks it’s a scar

I have a scar on my left knee and idk when I got it lol

I love super paper mario (it might be my fave super mario game)(after smash lol)(i love smash sm!!)(someone play smash with me!!)(dibs on kirby)

I know a bunch of digits of π (pi lmao) bc I’m a nerd

🌻🐝A body positivity tag game 🐝🌻

i was tagged by @njmphadora, @lilyevcnz <33

🌻🐝Tag people you want to feel pretty af 🐝🌻

Post your some selfies where you feel cute af ~ x x x x

Something you love about your hair ~ I love my hair sm tbh like it’s pretty lmao

Something you love about your eyes ~ like you can tell it’s me?? from when I’m a baby so I like that :P

Something you love about your mouth ~ it’s not bad, it’s goot a nice mouth shape I guss

Something you love about your nose ~ I LOVE MY NOSE!! like?? it’s just asdfyhs idk, I just like it and I get complimented on it a lot and people describe me by it, idk, I love it :D

Something you love about your legs ~ they’re long and they’re not totally skinny, like they’re curvy and they have a nice shape

Something you love about your butt ~ I guess it’s ok, it has a good butt shape?? it’s good…

Something you love about your tummy ~ even though I don’t eat any fruits or veggies it’s not like super chubby, like ofc I’m not a victoria’s secret model, but I’m skinny :)

Something you love about your chest ~ lol ok, so it’s like not too big but not too small, so it’s like a good chest size 

Something you love about your height ~ I’m like regular height (but my legs are long and my torso is short so finding clothes that fit me just right is hard, but also most clothes are kinda made for my height I guess??) I can wear heels or flats and look normal??

Something you love about your weight ~ tbh for the amount of junk food I eat, I’m very happy with my weight :D

When do you feel prettiest ~ when my hair is down and it’s clean (so never lol)

When did you last feel beautiful ~ last saturday?? on tuesday?? idk lol

tag game!

i was tagged by @percweasly

rules: enter your answers then tag 10 people! use the first letter of your name to answer each question. real answers only. if the person who tagged you has the same initial, you must use different answers. you cannot use the same word twice.

name: ana

a four letter word: ants

a boys name: andrew

an occupation: astrophysicist

something you wear: apron

food: apricot

something you find in a bathroom: aloe vera body lotion

a place: azerbaijan 

reason for being late: andrew garfield was getting into a bus and I had to chase him

something you shout: aaaaaaaaa!!!

movie titles: ant-man

something you drink: a soda (lmao I cheated, sorry)

an animal: ape

a type of car: audi

title of a song: another day of sun - la la land soundtrack (that music tag got to me…)

tag ten people u want to get to know better

i was tagged by @fallxng-stars name/nickname: ana, anita, shitface and ana banana (still don’t like them…)

relationship status: single favorite colors: white, black, gold, silver, and others probably last song i listened to: look at the last song from the music tag game lol

favorite tv shows: can’t choose but you can see them at my common room aka tv room first fandom: HP hobbies: reading, scrolling thru tumblr, chatting w friends, using photoshop (editing!), procrastinating, watching tv, decoding ciphers, learning how to do stuff, drawing, and more books i’m currently reading: The Thing Explainer, What If? and Gravity Falls Journal 3 worst thing i’ve ever eaten: fruits and veggies (eww) favorite place(s): home, where the wifi is 

tag game

I wish there was a store where you could just pick up a fictional character and they could be your best friend, significant other, or even arch nemesis. Copy the idea, write who your best friend, significant other, and arch nemesis would be. Then, tag 5-10 friends to do this!!

tagged by: @fleuvrdelacour

best friend(s): Hermione Granger, Fred & George, Dipper and Mabel Pines, I wanna be bff’s with everyone tbh

significant other:James Potter, Dr. Spencer Reid, Jake Peralta and I’m probably forgetting someone

arch nemesis: ughh Snape, Umbridge, and Gideon Gleeful 

#tag games #I spent like 3 hours on this #pls read it #there are so many people #I can't tag al of you guys #I don't have the strength #personal #nataliesroyalfamily #bimblebubblefam

[ellstra]

Ellstra’s One Year of Kylux Fic Rec

Exactly I year ago, I published my first Kylux fanfic, unaware what the year would bring me. I’m still in shock this ship stayed with me so long, that I still have tons of ideas about it and see it in everything. I’m emotional about this. I wanted to celebrate with sharing my love for some of the fics I’ve found and adored during the year. These are those I bookmarked on AO3, which means there is always a chance I read and loved others but forgot to bookmark them and my memory is shitty. I’m sorry. I’d arrange these like I’ve seen other people do, but 90% of them are porn so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Enjoy!

Wools and Silks, Satin and Lace (series) by @nerdherderette 

Words: 7,212 (2 works), Rated E; A Tailor Hux!AU, hot, it will mush your brain into puddle and you’ll be happy about it, tons of names of fabrics and product placement™ which warmed my nerdy heart (you’ll probably learn a word or two as well, I sure did)

The Vanishing: Being an Account of the Apotheosis &c. of James Allan Hux, Esq. (as culled from evidence presented at the inquest surrounding his disappearance) by @favomancer 

Words: 40,787, Rated E; James Allan Hux, Esq, is a veteran of the Great War turned private investigator in London, when a wealthy American widow asks him to search for her missing son. Kylo Ren is the true name of Benjamin Solo - once formerly a scholar at Miskatonic University. He has uncovered his true heritage and now seeks to recover the lost pieces of his patrimony so he can find his way back to a land where his grandmother was a Queen, and where he will be a prince. One searches for the other, who searches for things best left unfound, and neither will recognize the paths taken when they finally meet. This is everything your twisted perverted heart can wish for in a fancy wrapping of Lovecraft’s mythos, 100% worth the read for the writing style alone (if literary porn is a thing, then this is an obligatory read), the sex scene made me cry so there’s that

Crush by @deluxekyluxtrashcan 

Words: 8,766, Rated T; It's been years since Kylo last came home, and knowing he won't be able to take the plunge and actually stay with his parents, he agrees to let Han book him a room at a local hotel. The only problem? Han messes up and Kylo has nowhere to stay - that is until his high school crush Hux, who he hasn't seen in years, offers to let him share his room.Kylo has to navigate the feelings he finds he still has for Hux, the fragile new relationship with his parents, and the realisation that he isn't the only one with a difficult relationship with his parents.  Modern AU in which the boys both have a lot of issues and it’s painful to read it because it frustrates you - if they could just talk to each other aaaaah - but they resolve it in the end and it’s so soothing, very nice. 

the giggle at a funeral by @mistresseast 

Words: 20 591, not rated; Hux and Phasma have been running First Order Investigations since high school, and Dr. Snoke's metaphysical research graduate program seemed like the perfect opportunity to pursue their interests under the protective umbrella of academia. Unfortunately, that meant allowing Snoke's personal project, a taciturn medium named Kylo Ren, to join their team. Hux and Kylo mix like oil and water, or, more accurately, like fire and gasoline, and Hux is convinced that working effectively with Kylo is absolutely impossible. They hate each other, and Hux is content to leave it that way.But then, a case in the sweltering heat of South Carolina begins to change things between them, and Hux finds himself questioning not only Kylo's feelings, but his own as well.  I didn’t know I needed this AU but it seems like I did, Kylo’s mysterious and troubled, Hux is fed up with him but still has Feelings™, Phasma needs a break (or a drink) all in a thrilling chase after a ghost. I was almost late for school because of this. Apparently there will be a sequel which I can’t wait for. 

All The Way To Your Door (WIP) by @kyluxtrashcompactor 

Words: 37 315, Rated E; Six months ago, Hux lied to his father. He said the man in the picture he pulled up on his phone was his fiancé. Hux never anticipated telling his roommate, Ben, that he had been cast as Hux's lover, but when Hux's father dies unexpectedly, he is forced to tell Ben the truth, and ask him to play the role at Brendol Hux's wake.  The essential fake-relationship trope that no rec list can lack. It’s beautifully, gently written, with lovely metaphors and great details, Brendol is not actually the asshole he is in other fics which is refreshing and ads tragedy into the story. Hux’s relatives are fun, Kylo has a lot of issues from the military, lots of feelings.

Ride Or Die by @slutstiels 

Words: 8 796, Rated E; Phasma had asked him to do her a favor: stay behind and let Rey’s cousin know that Phasma was taking her on a movie date and would be bringing her home in a couple of hours. Hux hadn’t been able to say no. He is a gentleman after all. It helps, of course, that Rey’s cousin is fucking stacked. Six feet, two inches of broad shoulders and hard muscles covered up under layers of black leather, face always hidden by a black riding helmet. The first time Hux saw him it was like every porn, every wet dream, every fantasy he’d ever had come to real life. I’ll never admit reading this, a buddy of mine told me this fic was very filthy and very hot and had the worst case of slutty virgin Hux and Kylo with cheesy tattoos all over his body. This buddy of mine highly encourages you to read this fic but my chaste self would never be seen clicking that link.

Vivisect (WIP) by @firstordershitposting and @first-disorder 

Words: 56 690, Rated E; Lord Armitage Bathory Hux, pretending to mourn his late father, enjoys free reign over his castle and the villages it commands. Specifically, his tastes stray towards murder, torment, and sadism. To him, sensitive and devotedly religious Lord Benjamin Organa is but an entertaining new plaything. But Ben’s inner conflict only increases as he is torn between his cherished Catholic moral creed and his terrible attraction to Lord Armitage—as well as his own compulsion to kill.  Proceed with care with this one because it’s seriously fucked up but I promise that if you don’t have problems with any of the things you get warned about (there’s a list. it’s long) you won’t regret it. The dynamics between the pair of them if seriously twisted but so much fun.

Campfire (Baking Chocolate) by @piratical-princess

Words: 11 044, Rated E; Kylo convinces Hux to go on a camping trip. He attempts to melt the General's ice with good food and spooky storytelling, but it's harder than it seems when both of them are so good at hiding.  Everything you could possibly want from the pair of them going camping (canon-compliant). It’s all incredibly sweet and Kylo is a darling while Hux has Issues™. They share a tent (look at the rating if you’re not sure what happens next.) 

Oh, when you love it by @longstoryshortikilledhim 

Words: 7 676, Rated M; The Skywalker family seems fucked up beyond repair. They still try their best.  Modern AU of a troubled family that somehow works despite all odds. It’s poetic and will leave you feel serene. Intermingled with poetry which fits better than I’ve ever seen poetry fit. 

Stay by @42dicks 

Words: 1 815, Rated T; Two drunk teens grasp at comfort. High school AU, there are some emotions involved I can’t properly describe without quoting the whole thing so go read it.

The Fruits of Autumn by Gigi_Sinclair (couldn’t find you on tumblr sorry)

Words: 8 048, Rated M; "Everyone says college is supposed to be the best time of your life. If that's true,Matt thinks, yanking open the door to the coffee shop, then I might as well kill myself now." Yes, this is mostly Techienician but there’s Kylux too in the best way, there’s a coffee shop involved, Kylo recites poetry and Hux has his famous speech (although probably not in the way you’d expect.)

Ghosts of Your Past (never go away) by @evilblubber 

Words: 2300, Rated M; “So,” says Brendol, carefully, "So your dead father, who isn’t actually Force-sensitive, somehow came back as a Force ghost, and caught us having sex?” Kylo scowls. “I’m not crazy."Han Solo defies all logic and comes back to haunt his son, who really wants to stab something. Hux is confused. Phasma is still amused. Or, Ren really needs to stop stabbing people. Emperor Hux, Han has a cameo, truly inspiring and hilarious. There’s also a podfic by @kesskay which makes it 100% better, you won’t be able not to laugh.

To the Pure by @kdazrael 

Words: 27 929, Rated E; Dear sir or madam, I am General Hux of the Resurgent-class Star Destroyer Finalizer. I was recently strong-armed by a colleague into joining an order of mystic knight-warriors and now they want me take part in their team-building orgies. Please advise. The Knights of Ren are in this one and they’re adorable. Hux gets coerced to join the gang’s bonding exercises (against his will of course, mind you.) It’s beautiful. Worth a read for the knights alone (although the sex is great too so what are you waiting for?) There is a podfic by @kesskay too which you should check out as well.

Divided Desire by @kdazrael 

Words: 16 891, Rated E; Hux felt himself go pale, his muscles pulling tight and scalp prickling. “Why would I give a damn about what some foul alien has between its legs?"  This fic intends to be unashamedly filthy and is doing a very good job. Back from the days when Hux’s xenophilia was a number one topic in the fandom, this is a must-read. You’ll question your sanity if you read this but you’ll still be unable to put it down.

Screaming Colour by @solohux 

Words: 37 572, Rated M; For as long as Hux can remember, he's been able to see everything in brilliant, vivid colour. His mother tells him that it means that he's got a soulmate somewhere in the galaxy who's waiting for him and little Hux is excited to think that his soulmate can see things in the amazing colours that he can. But one day, the colour begins to drain from Hux's world. (Soulmate AU where you see everything in perfect colour until your soulmate dies)  Amazing concept with truly intriguing execution and lots of baby!Hux angst because who doesn’t love that. Hux’s mother is very lovely in this fic, although a tragic character. Also there’s lots of Kylo angst. But a lot of fluff too. So it’s a win-win basically.

Take the Dive (WIP) by @jinxedambitions  

Words: 52 775, Rated E; Hux is the top diver in the world coming back for his third Olympic Games. However, this time he's bringing more baggage than just his equipment. His former partner, Ben Solo, is also competing with his new partner, and Hux's greatest rival, Poe Dameron.Hux needs to prove he's still the best in the world, but more than that he wants to prove to himself that he can move past Ben. However, Ben seems dead set on reminding him about the past at every turn. A fierce rivalry, bitter exes, one big temper, some tiny swim suits, and a medal on the line...  Okay so who hasn’t watched diving during the Olympics and wished this fic existed, right? Well it does, and it’s even better than you’d expect. There’s angry sex, there’s jealousy, there’s Feelings™, there’s Poe who puts up with way too much, there’s tragic backstory and there’s Snoke who is an asshole. It’s a perfect mix.

Doctor’s Orders (WIP) by @jinxedambitions

Words: 117 205, Rated E; Hux may have too much on his plate. He's a successful surgeon. He runs the volunteer clinic his late mother started from the ground up. His father is constantly scrutinizing his work even though Hux is more successful than he ever was. His clinic is constantly under attacks whether by politicians with an agenda or fanatics looking to shut him down. It seems like everyone wants a piece of him. The last thing he needs is Kylo Ren constantly taking up space in his waiting room for every imagined illness he can come up with. Hux isn't sure if he hasn't been loved enough or he's got one hell of a doctor kink, and he doesn't particularly care to find out. However, Ren might just be the answer to some of Hux's biggest headaches. The question is whether Ren is more trouble than he's worth. The answer is most certainly yes, but against his better judgment Hux lets him keep coming back. Hux is a doctor in this one which is the best thing in the world and I love it (Hux using his fierce intelligence and dedication to healing people instead of killing them? Sign me up!) Leia is a badass in this one, Rey is very sweet and Phasma is just amazing. Kylo and Hux have a lot of issues of course but I hope they’ll solve them. Snoke is extra awful in this one.

None of Your Business by @samzillastomps 

Words: 20 316, Rated E; Hux is keeping his head above the water with his slightly pretentious bookstore, but just barely. When the next door neighbor (a young business owner who hasn't impressed Hux in the least) meanders over with a magical proposition for them both, Hux is in no position to deny him. A compromise to save his bookstore from bankruptcy may be just what Hux needs to feel at peace again-- and just what his neighbor was hoping for to get his foot in the bookstore door. Modern AU, very sensitive story which will warm you up like a cup of cocoa. There are old, precious books involved and it’s great, Hux is beautifully broken and so afraid of falling in love but he does anyway. 

Waste Isolation by @yeats-infection 

Words: 24 067, Rated E; Saltlands, Disputed Territory; 9421 CE. As sheriff of the Templum Flats, Hux prides himself on his irrepressible conniving - especially in dealing with the cultish Order and its feral lich mercenary, Ren. A dystopian AU with such a perfect setting that is apparently based on reality written so beautifully you’ll want to tear your own heart out of your body and eat it. The prose is magnificent, amazing because it’s just brushing the surface and lets you make connections on your own (also new words. yay!) The relationship between the pair of them is just brilliant, everything about this story is brilliant. 

Be a Body by @cracktheglasses 

Words: 5 114, Rated E; General Hux likes spending his shore leave somewhere anonymous, convenient and blessedly free of Kylo Ren. Somewhere full of men with big hands, and preferably with a good bathroom to do Mon Gazza spice in. Okay so obviously Hux’s leave is not as Kylo Ren free as he hoped and he still loves it, mostly because he has no idea what’s going on. Also Hux takes drugs so there’s that. It’s filthy and it’s gorgeous.

Cornflakes and Other Lists by @starkilleraflame 

Words: 35 969, Rated G; “Ben, what are you doing?” asked Rey. In answer, Ben just pointed to the window and said, “People.” “Yes, Ben, those exist.” “I know that, but they’re moving in. Who’s letting them move into the crazy neighborhood?” “Ben, we’re the crazy house. No one else is crazy. Just you.” “I’m not crazy, Rey. I was just kidnapped and brainwashed by an abusive militant cult leader. There’s a difference."  Modern AU, Ben is kidnapped and brainwashed by Snoke, the Knights of Ren are a bunch of teenagers with serious mental health issues and they’re great, Hux is the kid that moves in to the house beside Ben’s and for some reason doesn’t go to school either which works just fine for Ben. And boy, does this work. It’s beautiful and poetic but at the same time very real. Ben is so precious in this one.

Eleison by @saltandimes 

Words: 4 104, Rated E; When Kylo leaves on a mission, Hux begins to fall apart. Because he needs Kylo, and there's nothing else Kylo has ever wanted. Hux is so dependent on Kylo that he’s barely able to breathe on his own, which shouldn’t be a good thing but from some reason it is, most likely because of the amazing delivery of the idea.

Ace of Spades (WIP) by @bettydays 

Words: 57 362, Rated M; “Sometimes,” Ben says, “it feels like everything’s connected. Like with strings. And if I could just see the strings, I could pull them. I could make things do what I wanted.” “Are people connected too?” Hux asks. “Uh huh. But some strings between people are shorter than others. Like ours. I bet ours is the shortest string you can have.” Modern AU which follows the pair of them from early childhood as they become friends to very troubled teen years (and I hope a happy ending.) It feels very real, it’s well written without being cliche. Bonus points for Padmé.

Behind Schedule by @limit-breaker  

Words: 12 115, Rated E; Hux tries to micromanage their sex life, but even with exacting details it doesn't always go according to plan... Hux is afraid of catching feelings but somehow forgets to get vaccinated. Kylo is uncharacteristically patient. Lots of brilliant character development.

Control and Shush by @percjgraves 

Words: 2 484 and 2 437, Rated E; Hux knows perfectly well what he wants. A familiar pressure, a firm hold, the thrill of the struggle. Kylo Ren’s gloved hand around his neck. and “That all you can do?” Hux says, insolent to the last, and Kylo sits up, cups Hux’s jaw with something like tenderness as he leans to whisper in his ear.“Shut up,” he says, slowly. “Or I’ll gag you.” I put these two together because they are loosely tied together. Very intriguing dynamics and well, the living embodiment of my sub!hux headcanons so no real explanation here, just accept that it’s amazing.

Good Neighbours (series) by @thewightknight 

Words: 4 083 (2 works), Rated T; Hux rents the house on the sleepy cul-de-sac because the price is right, knowing the noise from the firestation across the street won't bother him. The firefighters, on the other hand? Consider him bothered. What a lovely setting, Hux is unapologetically stalking the firefighters and they know. It’s not a porn actually, even though I made it sound that way. It’s actually very sweet and leads to an awkward meeting.

Lygerastia by @sithofren 

Words: 2 331, Rated E; The condition of one who is only amorous when the lights are out. Very sweet, very emotional porn. The best kind of porn there is. 

Academy Style by @eralkfang 

Words: 13 921, Rated E; “It’s not a question of desire, it’s a question of logistics.”  Kylo’s dick is huge and Hux is scared, though still determined to take the challenge. A truly magnificent classic Kylux™ with repressed emotions.

Ravines (series) by @badspacebabies

Words: 11 825 (2 works), Rated E A highschool AU, very poetic, immersing prose that will leave you grinning through your tears. It feels like you’re sitting on the curb with them as they share a cigarette. 

Our Fragile Co-commandership by @nightsofllyn 

Words: 13 128, Rated E; Kylo Ren and General Hux discuss the weather on Starkiller Base. This is a tricky fic to describe, since each of the chapters is a little different. It starts off playful and with the well-known rivalry we all love for this ship. Continues through sex dreams that somehow manage to seem like high arts. Finishes satisfying, although a little alarming. Overall a very pleasant read. The imagery in chapter 2 is spot on.

Life Sentence, No Cellmate by @hollyhark 

Words: 30 119, Rated E; Hux follows orders and loses his way. I don’t have to present CWU to anyone in the fandom, do I? I’m the only one who hasn’t read the whole thing yet (it’s intimidatingly long and I’ve been super busy but I intent to fix it soon.) I liked their first kiss in this story. So poetic, so emotional.

Imperial Majesty Hux (series) by @pkabyssian 

Words: 14 883 (2 works), Rated E As the title suggests, an Emperor Hux verse, where they defeat Snoke because Hux is fed up with him, and they have great sex in between.

rise, higher still, endless thrill by @lupevensies 

Words: 4387, Rated M; Then they had won, and what remained of the Republic soldiers scattered away in a disorderly fashion. Ren stood there, surrounded by maimed corpses and splattered blood, absurdly red against the snow. Hux wanted to peel off his clothes and wash all the blood and dirt off his body, slowly, reverently, until it was impossible to tell those long limbs had ever known the filthy mess of battle. He wanted to beat him to a pulp and drag him into the mud and see if he’d still look like an avenging angel then.  Ruthlessly brilliant MCD, one of the first Kylux fics I’ve read so I’m a little sentimental about this one. Every words is where it belongs and the ending will fuck you up (it will be good though.)

#kylux #kylux fic rec #kylux fic #kylo ren #general hux #wow this took eternity lol #but I wanted to add my commentaries to the stories. i loved them so much and I wanted to repay the authors #it's still not enough #keep being awesome #I'm on the verge of tears now #okay bye #*drops mic*

[just-another-busy-fangirl-writes]

September 1, 2017 - Hogwarts Express Edition

I am reposting old fic rec lists.  Unfortunately some of the blogs/stories have been removed, but I am still going to list them for historical reference.

Feel free to tag me in ANY fics you post, and see previous weeks’ fic recs HERE

STOP! WAIT! HALT!

Because my Fic Recs this week landed on September 1, I couldn’t help it - these are all HARRY POTTER fic recs this week.

I started in on the world of fanfiction with Harry Potter about 15 years ago - reading, writing, betaing…

I’ve dug around in my past, finding some of my favorite Harry Potter fanfics from back then.  These are all on fanfiction.net, where I lived back in the day.  (It was only in the past three-ish years that my fanfiction writing and reading geared more toward tumblr and Supernatural.)  I checked all of the authors of these fics to see if they have tumblrs, but wasn’t successful.  Not sure if they didn’t cross over to the tumblr world when this website was created, or if they just didn’t link anything…if you know of any of these authors being on tumblr, please tag them! :)

One final note -

I’M POSTING A SUPERNATURAL/HARRY POTTER CROSSOVER FIC STARTING ON TUESDAY!  GET EXCITED!

Sorry if you’re a regular visitor to my fic recs for Supernatural stuff, but I promise that next week will be back to normal!  Until then, happy reading!

this got way longer than i expected, so fics are under the cut. :)

Note: Before I even knew what shipping was, Remus x Sirius was my OTP. “Wolfstar” hadn’t been coined…now when I look for RLSB fics, I feel super old when Wolfstar pops up.  Interesting fact, y’all. Note #2: I detest Hermione x Ron, so a lot of these fics are Hermione x LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE.  Sorry not sorry. :)

SERIES

Take Me to Bed PREQUEL ONE TWO THREE by albe-chan (ff.net)   Remus is drunk! What mischief will he and Padfoot get up to? Or rather, what women will they conquer?

This Time Around by Disneydoll0424 (ff.net)   Hermione Granger travels back in time and meets up with the Marauders. She finds out that changing the past can have unexpected consequences for the future. HGRL

Giving in to Temptation and Series by GrandeVanillaSkimLatte (ff.net)   Fred and George go to visit Hermione one day and convince her that there is nothing wrong with feeling good every now and then.

Teacher’s Pet by IceQueenRia (ff.net)   Hermione is attacked by death eaters. She manages to escape by turning into her animagus form. She ends up becoming Snape’s new pet. Unsure if he can be trusted she stays in her cat form and gets an inside look at what Snape is really like.

Daydream, Sirius’ Daydream, and Sharing Dreams by Lady Remus 1983 (ff.net)   It is a hot day in the library and Remus succumbs into a naughty daydream…

Reason For Life by LadySeradeRETURNS (ff.net)   Hermione uses the Time Turner to go back before the Potter’s death, not to change things, but to change the outlook of Sirius’s life. She went back for the sake of Harry, the Order and for his salvation. She didn’t do it to fall in love

Bed of Roses by moonyNZ (ff.net)   During a Death Eater attack Hermione is sent back in time where the Marauders and Lily befriend her. Haunted by her past Hermione must learn to live in the other time. Eventual SBHG JPLE.

The Problem with Purity by Phoenix.Writing (ff.net)   As Hermione, Harry, and Ron are about to begin their seventh and final year at Hogwarts, they learn some surprising and dangerous information regarding what it means to be Pure in the wizarding world. HG/SS with H/D. AU after OotP.   This is one of those fanfics that I have re-read multiple times.  The originality of the storyline, Pure Adults, and dynamics between the characters are amazing.  The pairings might throw you off a bit, but I PROMISE this is well worth the read!

Empty by remuslives (ff.net)   Marriage Law fic, no yadda yadda about the new law, no falling in love/lust at first touch. Hermione needs a husband, Sirius steps up.

Just One of the Guys by remuslives (ff.net)   Hermione is tired of being just one of the guys but refuses let it change her. Fred takes notice of her and George helps.

To Love a Werewolf by remuslives (ff.net)   RemusHermione yes it’s a time turner story but it’s Remus that goes forward to present day Hogwarts.

Unbroken Promise by remuslives (ff.net)   Sirius makes a promise to Remus reguarding Hermione. A promise he has no intention of breaking.

What Friends Are For by @remuslives23 (ff.net)   James is having a sexuality crisis. Can his best friends help ‘straighten’ him out?

Enchanted Love by Sarmoti (ff.net)   Now that Voldemort has been defeated, Sirius Black is a free man. It’s Hermione’s 7th year at Hogwarts and she soon finds herself torn between two men. Sirius/Hermione, Remus/Hermione

Doing the Deed by WeasleyForMe (ff.net)   Hermione, an employee at Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes, finds herself in a most pleasant position.

ONE SHOTS

Because of Wood by albe-chan (ff.net)   Charlie Weasley was gay. There was no other way to say it. He had realized it, fought it, and finally, come to terms with it. He was gay, as it wasn’t going away.

I Dream of Ginger by albe-chan (ff.net)   Fantasy becomes reality one night for Hermione when she walks in on the Weasley twins.

If Books Could Talk by albe-chan (ff.net)   With a little persuasion from Sirius Black, Remus Lupin finds he’s glad no one in the library talks, especially the books.

Please, Sir, May I Have Another? by albe-chan (ff.net)   Harry is a naughty boy, and Remus and Sirius are going to punish him. But how long can Harry take the delicious torture before he breaks?

Injustice of it All by GrandeVanillaSkimLatte (ff.net)   Sirius and Remus spend the evening schooling Hermione in the art of discretion.

Chocolate Firewhiskey by Lady Remus 1983 (ff.net)   Remus and Sirius are alone after everyone else is at Hogsmeade. Sirius think it’s about time to test his new drink…

Releasing the Pressure by Lady Remus 1983 (ff.net)   Remus always gets frustrated before a full moon so Sirius thinks of a way to help Remus release his anxiety.

Ultimatum by Marauder (ff.net)   Sirius has secretly loved Remus for years, and James is sick of watching his friend suffer. So he gives him an ultimatum: Sirius has a few hours to tell Remus, or else James will. RLxSB. Slightly AU since HBP.

Deeper by remuslives (ff.net)   Hermione gets seduced by Fred and George, not that she’s complaining.

Don’t Judge a Book by its Cover by remuslives (ff.net)   Hermione’s reading and Remus can’t stand not knowing what it is.

What Are You Doing Here? by remuslives (ff.net)   Who will Charlie dream of under the influence of Patended Daydream Charms? Hermione, of course.

#laura's fic recommendations