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ddesertmoon · 7 months

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Batman Fic Recs Feat. Jason Todd’s Return

All my favorite fics about Jason’s return to the family. Gen, and mostly hurt/comfort.

Red Hood by envysparkler

“Gotham doesn’t relinquish her soldiers, no matter how far they’ve fallen from the nest.”

In my opinion, this is THE quintessential Red Hood debut fic. It’s got this one trope I love: regular civilians take a chance and protect their protector (it happens a lot with Spider-Man and its really great to see crime alley thanking Jason in the same way).

Vermillion by xandromedan

“Jason Todd returns to Gotham with a bang. In between setting up a criminal empire, dealing with national conspiracies, and the Joker, he re-learns how to be a person.

When the Bats learn of a new face in Gotham's underground, they get interested. Some of them get friendly. His plan becomes... complicated.”

I love when Red Hood becomes close to the bats without revealing his identity… idk something about how he BELONGS with them even though he’s changed…

hang on ‘til the chaos is through by JustGail

“BEFORE:

Jason likes Tim. Or, he thinks he does. Tim has spent most of the week since he moved in locked up in his room, only coming out for meal times and sometimes to use the big TV in the media room, but the few words Jason has managed to extract from Tim show a bright kid who can clearly easily keep up with the best of ‘em, despite his young age. So he’s pretty sure he likes Tim, or at least will, with time.

AFTER:

Tim knows there’s something going on, and the worst part is that Batman isn’t even trying to pretend there isn’t something going on.

Stay out of it, he’d told him. Like something as big as a new player in town is something that Robin could stay out of. That Tim could stay out of.”

So so SO good. The story focuses on Jason and Tim and how they both join (or return, in Jason’s case) to the family. Both of them are characterized perfectly.

ghost story by envysparkler

“Jason Todd dies in Ethiopia. Well. Kind of.”

After Jason dies, he’s forced to watch his family grieve as a ghost. This gives him a new perspective when he returns to Gotham (which changes everything). I LOVE this fic. It’s suspenseful and emotional, AND there’s found family.

Twists And Turns Will Take You Home by Sun_Moon_Stars_Jedi

“Bruce Wayne is used to getting kidnapped. He's used to Gotham's villains hating him.

So why does this new crime lord come to his aid when he can't defend himself?”

Short and sweet. A little identity reveal fic because Jason Todd + identity reveal is my favorite combination of things. The fact that it’s told from Bruce’s perspective and you can see his slow realization… perfect!

miss me? by envysparkler

“Jason’s plan to observe his family’s reactions to his resurrection…does not go as intended.”

Basically, Tim, Dick, and Bruce assume Jason is a hallucination because they’re all so fucked in the head that them hallucinating him makes more sense than like. Magic or something. Very good! I love it when characters are fucked up and sad.

Late Night Encounters by paperxcrowns

“Not long after Jason comes back to Gotham and asserts himself as the Red Hood, Tim meets Jason in a diner late at night and by some miracle he doesn't recognize him. After another chance meeting where Jason still doesn't make the connection between him and Robin, Tim decides that this might just his chance to get to know Jason Todd.”

Pretty much exactly what it says in the description. Red Hood hates Robin, but he befriends the sad teenager named Tim. The secret identity thing causes issues which cause explosive emotions and slight agony for the characters!

best laid plans by Valkirin

“Tim Drake knows that Batman needs a Robin. When Bruce and Dick aren't interested in what he has to say, Tim makes his way to the cemetery to say a few words to the boy he's trying to replace.

Tim has the chance to say far more than he expected when Jason digs himself out of his grave that night. Tim does his best to get Jason home to Bruce. The League of Assassins finds them first.”

This one’s more about both Jason and Tim “coming home” but I’m going to count it because I love this fic. In the end, they’re all together which is all I can ask for.

dead ringer by punkrockhades

“‘Oh, are you guys talking about Jason?’ said a familiar mechanized voice from across the rooftop, and the Bats spun around to spot the Red Hood casually leaning against the rooftop access door. ‘I miss that kid, he was a riot. Hope he’s doing alright.’

There was a moment of silence as the entire group stared at Red Hood, processing his words, and then Red Robin blurted, ‘Wait, you know Jason?’

‘Sure,’ Red Hood responded breezily, amusement written in the lines of his posture. ‘We got pushed into the Pit at the same time. He went a little crazy and fell off a cliff, but shit could only go up from there, am I right?’”

Basically Jason (as Red Hood) pretends to be his own friend and casually makes the batfam lose their minds. Very funny!

Aftermath by ivy_and_ivory

“Now: Batman is in Paris, pulled there by a case that extends beyond Gotham’s borders, when circumstances lead him to a badly injured Red Hood – who might hold the key to Batman’s investigation.

Then: The Red Hood storms into Gotham, begins to stake his claim on the criminal underground, then abruptly disappears – but only after he breaks into Arkham Asylum and leaves the Joker dead in his own cell.”

You have to have an ao3 account to read this fic (sorry) but if anyone wants to know how to make one I can help! This is a really great case fic. Batman doesn’t know who the Red Hood is, but their relationship is complicated from the start because he was able to do what Batman never could: kill the Joker.

Tap by CKBookish

“Bruce returns home from the time stream, haunted by phantoms and dreams. Dreams of a past that can't be real.

But all of that wouldn't be so bad if his home didn't feel so empty in the absence of one of his children. Jason, refuses to talk to him or even answer his calls and Bruce can't figure out why or what he did wrong, not after they had mended their fences before his disappearance.

Meanwhile,

Catherine struggles to hold it together for her and Jason as life falls apart around them. When all she has to give is love she does her best to give it all.”

I really love this fic because it shows vignettes of Jason’s life with his mom without shitting on her as a character. Also, it’s a bit different from the other fics here because it takes place after Bruce comes back from the timestream instead of at the beginning of Jason’s stint as Red Hood.

when my cage is by the window (I can see the sun) by mikkal

“When he was seven, Damian finally escaped the League of Assassins - but not without his brother sacrificing himself to give him time. Now, six years later, he's Robin and Tim's been captured by Ra's in his latest plot. The family goes to Nanda Parbat to rescue him only to run into a revelation that might just break them.”

This fic is INSANELY well written. The small snippets of Jason and Damian’s time together are beautiful. It doesn’t have a happy ending necessarily, but you could probably interpret it as a happy ending!

robin’s roast by envysparkler

“There’s a new coffee shop in Crime Alley. It’s called the Red Hood.”

Jason gets to establish himself in Gotham as the owner of a new coffee shop instead of as a crime lord. This ends up being more effective in completing some of his goals than being the Red Hood would have been.

grave secrets by envysparkler

“Jason only came back to confront Batman and kill the Joker. His job is done.”

Be sure to mind the trigger warnings in the tags. This fic is very different from a lot of the ones on this list, but it’s VERY good.

The Long Road Home by BumblingBeesAndWillowTrees

“The first time Jason held Damian in his arms, the green abated and he knew he had never loved anyone else so fiercely before.

The thing about love is that it is so rarely enough.”

Jason raising Damian!!!! The family meeting Damian and not knowing that Jason raised him!!! Identity reveals! Aaaaaaaaa!!

Also, you need to have an ao3 account to read this fic, sorry.

prodigal by punkrockhades

“Dick liked to think he had a pretty good handle on the whole ‘big brother’ thing by now, even if Tim still saw sleep as optional and Damian still got a little stabby when a hug lasted too long.

But then Damian’s other big brother comes to town, mysterious and red-helmeted and oddly familiar, and seems to want nothing to do with the Bats sans Damian. Damian is strangely close-lipped about his other brother's past, but Dick is determined to find out more about the Red Hood - he could always use more little brothers, anyway!”

The batfam knows the Red Hood as a violent vigilante (and as Damian’s mysterious brother) but then they get to meet Jason!! Identity reveal and all that jazz!

the bird, the fog, the mist by bacondoughnut

“Jason Todd returns to Gotham with a foolproof plan, to kill the Joker and protect the city as the Red Hood in a way that Batman never could. But when he gets there he makes one major decision that's not a part of the plan. He goes home.

aka; The one where Jason tries to balance being the Red Hood with repairing things with his family, and maybe learns a thing or two about forgiveness and family and love along the way”

Jason comes home but he’s still the Red Hood and there’s a WONDERFUL amount of secrets being kept. I like this one because it’s the opposite from a lot of the other fics on this list (in that the family meets Jason Before they meet Red Hood)

You need to have an ao3 account to read this fic

forward tho’ I canna see by nex_et_nox

“One of the thugs trying to sneak up behind Robin stoops low, comes back up swinging at Robin's unprotected back with a fucking crowbar—

Metal clatters against the ground; the body follows it a second later.

Jason lifts his finger from the trigger.

Robin whirls, taking in the body dropped with a headshot. With a scowl, Jason kneecaps the idiots trying to take out Robin from behind again.

[or: Jason, newly returned to Gotham as the Red Hood, keeps accidentally helping out the Bats. It's really frustrating.]”

Oneshot with a bunch of interactions between Red Hood and the bats. Identity reveal that’s soft and sweet and everything I’m looking for <3

Bonus: Incomplete Fics (at the time of this list’s creation)

riptide by punkrockhades

“Jason’s first mistake was hacking the Bats’ secret comm channel.

Although could it really be called hacking when they’d never bothered to change their frequency since his Robin days? All he’d had to do was log on, and boom – instant access to the best ways to avoid meddlesome Bats while he got shit done. And since his end was carefully muted, they wouldn’t even know anyone was listening.

His second mistake was thinking he could listen without getting sucked back into their drama.”

I love this fic SO much. It made me feel so many emotions… the buildup to Jason’s reveal is amazing and the reveal itself is perfect. The last chapter is (as of right now) not posted, but that chapter is an epilogue so the story is able to stand without it! A million out of ten, would recommend.

Chapters: 5/6

what you’re longing for (you claim to abhor) by Ghxst_Bird

“He smiles, all teeth, ‘Come on Replacement, I even got to the door with both legs busted. This should be nothing.’

‘You’re right. Jason… Jason wouldn’t have given up. He would fight, I can still—’

The boy wobbles, and Jason has to suppress the mortifying impulse to jump to his aid.

‘I can still fight. Batman needs me.’

‘That’s a terrible idea,’ he muses aloud, and if there’s a hint of real concern somewhere under all the roiling green, well, nobody can prove it.”

AAAAAAAAAGH THIS FIC. This fic is SO good. There’s a ton of interactions between Jason and the family when they don’t know his ID because they assume that Red Hood’s relationship with Jason Todd isn’t “of course I know him, he’s me” but something Very Different. Angst, humor, the whole shebang.

Chapters: 10/11

(likely to update soon as the author has been posting a lot recently, but who’s to say. Either way, great story!)

Welp, there they are! Hope everyone enjoys because this is my favorite trope :D

#fic rec #batfam fic rec #fanfiction #jason todd #bruce wayne #red hood #Batman #batfam #dc #batman fanfiction #dick grayson #damian wayne #tim drake #Jason Todd returns home

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mysadcorner · 2 years

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May I ask, please and thank you, the batboys as yanderes with a reader who can teleport?

Yandere!Batboys x Teleporter!Reader Headcanons

- Credit to the gifs owner - Please be specific about characters wanted in requests -

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Dick Grayson

• Dick would be pretty confused and shocked that you have this ability, especially as he hasn’t seen anyone with it before. But knowing that you’re unique only makes him like you even more.

• He would feel a little bit anxious about you teleporting all over whenever you wanted to, mainly because you could disappear at any moment and he couldn’t stop you. He hates the thought of you leaving, especially when you may have a little disagreement together.

• Dick is a clingy yandere, and there’s not much you can do to make him calm out of it. Although, you being able to teleport does mean you can escape him a lot easier than any other person would be able to.

• Dick would only want you to use your powers when you absolutely needed to, he wouldn’t be a big fan of you just using it casually. Plus, since he’s a yandere, he doesn’t really want you fighting and potentially getting yourself hurt; so even missions are restricted.

• You can get away pretty easy when you have free reign of your powers, but Dick would always try to get them under his control to a certain degree. He has a lot of access to technology, and if it’s found that a specially made device can stunt your teleportation then he would absolutely use it to keep you controlled.

Jason Todd

• Jason would initially be excited at your power, especially if you’re able to teleport other people with you. He thinks it’s handy and amazingly unique so you won’t hear many complaints from him until he wants to stop you from leaving.

• If you teleporting was a regular thing and you used it for every day activities then he would get used to it pretty quickly. But if you only used it rarely then he would probably be jumpy whenever you teleport to him as he’s always on guard after something dangerous such as missions or patrols happen.

• As a yandere Jason wouldn’t like the thought of you being able to leave him in an instant. So, he would try to convince you to stay with him as much as possible especially if he isn’t able to stop you from leaving.

• If Jason does end up taking control over you as a yandere then your teleportation would be restricted to being done only when needed. It would be used to protect you and others but he would still hate the thought of you fighting along side him just in case of you getting hurt.

• Since you can teleport it would probably be pretty easy to get away from Jason, especially if you can teleport long distances. You would feel tied down to him more due to emotional aspects and the thing that stops you from leaving would be the guilt of having to make him lonely again if you do.

Tim Drake

• Tim would be amazed at your ability and would be openly excited about it, so he wouldn’t really express for you to stop doing it any time soon. He wants to find out how it works, but he wouldn’t do anything experimental that might hurt you like most people would to find out what causes your powers.

• Tim does get startled when you teleport to him out of nowhere, especially if you hadn’t given him any notice. But usually he just shakes it off and ends up happy that you’ve come to see him.

• Tim is strong but it’s the emotional part of him that you need to watch out for. He wants you to have your fin and to be free while teleporting, but he will cause a lot of emotional pain if he ever thought you would leave him - and this can happen easily as he’s constantly needing you to dote on and reassure him.

• He’d more than fine with you using your powers to help other members of the team get away from danger or someone innocent who managed to get wrapped up in the situation. He would only put his foot down once he thought that you were going with them with the intention of doing something behind his back.

• Since you can teleport it would be pretty easy to get away at first, but just like Dick, Tim would find a way to either find out where you were pretty quickly or would have something that stops your ability of teleporting completely. It’s only a matter of time before Tim finds you again.

Damian Wayne

• Damian would be pretty curious about your powers and the different aspects of them, but he wouldn’t be too outwardly excited. He knows many people with special abilities and he’s noticed that most want to be treated just like normal people.

• Damian would come to terms with it pretty quickly, mainly as he’s been up against much stranger things and he has no need to feel any threat from you. However, he would dislike it if you used it to try to surprise him or sneak around.

• Damian would be extremely dangerous as a yandere, and you would have a hard time escaping him to begin with. Not only is he strong but he’s also well versed in many things and intelligent, so trying to get away would be a challenge for anyone.

• He would only start to restrict you from using your powers if he felt that you were going too far with them or doing something behind your back. Other than this, he would be pretty relaxed with your freedom and how much you can teleport before hand.

• Damian has eyes everywhere and a lot of connections, plus it’s easy for him to get to place to place. He’s patient so even if he knows he can’t find you immediately he’ll have you tracked down and you’ll be back with him in only a matter of time.

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jason-todd-fangirl-14 · 3 months

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So this is my first time writing anything on Tumblr so please bear with me while I try and figure out how this app works lol. Any tips would be greatly appreciated. I’m probably going to do another part of this with other Batman characters (when I get to know more characters that is. I only just recently got into DC and Batman in general so my knowledge is either pretty basic or not a lot). Anyways, without further ado, this is how I imagine the Batfam’s hugs would be or feel like while they hug the reader. Let’s start with an individual who’s most likely to actually hug someone, and that’s…

Alfred Pennyworth

Let’s face it, the man is the kindest one there is. Aside from another character that I’ll get to next, he is the most likely to hug you. I imagine his hugs to be as warm as the biggest and fluffiest blanket. If you were sad, he’d definitely be the first one to comfort you, and once he knows you’re stable, he would make sure your comfort food is stalked up for whenever you're hungry. If you’re not much of a hugger, or not you just need to be left alone for a bit to figure things out on your own, he would still be there to comfort you, but from a distance until you’re ready and approach him first. He won’t hesitate to comfort you, in any way that he can.

Dick Grayson

This boy would hug the actual life out of you when you're sad. It’s just going to happen. For your sake, let’s hope you’re also a huge hugger, because there’s nothing Dick hates more than seeing someone upset and hurting. His hugs will most likely just happen out of nowhere, and it will be instinct for him. Like one single tear falling, lip trembling, and or head tilting downward, he’ll just react and hold you close. Even with the slightest silent or non-silent reaction from you, and he’ll just assume something isn’t right, and being the caring, kind and good guy he is, he’ll be there to support you in any way he can be. He wants you to know that he’s in your corner, wherever and whenever you need him, and he does that through physical touch, but sometimes his obsessive affection can be very overbearing and a bit much. Just know that he loves and cares about you, and wants the best for you, and just wants to be there for you.

Bruce Wayne

Bruce is probably one of the last people to want to hug you, let’s be real here. Hugs and comforting people are extremely hard for him due to his traumas and constantly pushing people away. He doesn’t hug a lot of people, generally others have to be the ones to initiate it first because he won’t. He’ll definitely notice when something is wrong or when someone is sad, he is the world’s greatest detective after all, but he’ll feel awkward and maybe even uncomfortable at the thought of hugging someone, but after some urging from Alfred and perhaps Dick, he’ll come around. His hugs will most likely be tight, and stiff, as he’s unsure if he’s even doing it right, but the sentiment is there, and it’s sweet that he’s trying to comfort you anyway, even if he doesn’t know exactly how.

Tim Drake

This boy will either hug you in two ways.

1) He’ll be so sleep-deprived that he’ll just cling to you so willingly and fall asleep, or 2) he’ll be in such a rush to get work done that the hug feels forced and honestly, a bit unpleasant because there’s no equal participation. It’s not exactly his fault. Tim is naturally a workaholic, and feels the need to prove himself worthy of being apart of the family. He doesn’t dislike hugs, he just hasn’t ever really experienced them much, and doesn’t have much experience on how to hug correctly. The boy’s a genius, but his knowledge of doing such a normal humane part of life is extremely low. Your best bet is to get him off the laptop, and teach him how to hug and if he happens to be sleep-deprived, it’s best to hug him until he falls asleep because chances are, that’s the first time in awhile he’s actually rested at all.

Jason Todd

Jason, I imagine, is a strange and even unexpected case. Like Tim, he’s never really had many hugs. Given this, he’s very inexperienced, but I also imagine that he’s extremely touch-starved, but that part is secret, because he had a reputation to uphold. The one day you came to him needing a hug, it surprised you how tight he held you against him. How willing he let you hug him, and how he willingly hugged you back, almost like he needed it as much as you did. After that day, you decided to test him, and went around randomly hugging him to see how he would hug you every time, and he hugged you with pretty much the same level of tightness and gentleness as the first time. It was a relief really seeing how much he has grown and how he let those high walls drop, letting his vulnerable side show, and you were proud of him for letting it.

(Older) Damian Wayne

Damian is another example of Jason and Tim’s hugging inexperience. Seriously, somebody needs to hug these guys more often. (A/N I volunteer as tribute!!)

Anyways. Back to little Dami here. Damian has only ever known hatred, violence, and murder, so obviously he has never known about love or affection. The first time you ever hugged him, he accidentally punched you, because he wasn’t expecting it. You knew he didn't mean to, so anytime you went to hug him, you warned and/or asked him first. Eventually, he allowed you to hug him, mostly out of courtesy for you (also after Alfred insisted he’d tried to let his guard down and let people love him). I imagine his hugs to be extremely stiff, almost like if you tried to hug a cat who was not at all affectionate. It would no doubt take awhile for him to warm up to hugs, so it would be best to just give him a bit of affection a little at a time, because once you scare him away, all the progress would have been in vain. Even if he doesn't want to admit it, he actually doesn’t hate hugs, but he would never say that, ever, and it would be wise not to tease him about it because that would be how he gets scared away from it. It would be rare that he would ever come to you for comfort, but I can’t imagine it would be impossible. An example of him coming to you for comfort is if he was having problems with his father, or his brothers, or if something would happen to all of his plethora of pets. Also if he watched a sad movie of an animal dying. Other than that, the chances of him running to you for comfort would be rare, so hold him close if he lets you, because he most likely won’t let his guard down to let you do it again.

So, how do you guys think I did? I hope it was somewhat accurate to their characters. If anyone has any advice for writing the Batfam characters, please let me know! I imagine that these were more if the reader hugged these characters romantically (excluding from Alfred, ofc), but I’ll let you guys decide for yourselves. Again I might make a part 2, but with some other characters (I’m thinking platonic for the girls, Barbara, Stephanie and Cassandra, but I’ll have to do a bit more research on them before I’d try to write one of these for them, as I would hate to accidentally screw up their character, I’m really not confident that I did these guys well but too late now). I also want to try to make platonic Batsis and Batmom content at some point, because I think it’s fun to mix stuff up then just writing romantic x reader content, but that will probably be a bit before I try to tackle that. Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed and have a great rest of your day, evening, afternoon, whatever time you're reading this. I’ll see you next time :)

#batman #alfred pennyworth #nighwing #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #x reader #female x reader #bruce wayne #dc #robin #red hood #red robin #dick grayson #headcanon

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mamawasatesttube · 1 month

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Ask Game! A, C, and L please?

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

timkon!!! also timkonbart and konbart (especially queerplatonic konbart). tbh in my mind there is a specific-ass timkonbart scenario in which it's romantic timkon, qp konbart, besties timbart, and fairly blurred lines about types of affection, aka they're just all generally all over each other in a big ol puppy pile. i like them. bart is aroace but he's like. 100% still a life partner in this relationship you know??

otherwise im just lately losing my mind over clois bc ive been reading postcrisis superman stuff and man. they really invented love. ummm also kara/thara is real and i know it. but also kara/lori luthor. women ive heard of them

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.

hm. tim/ber i think tbh. or super/bat but im more just very ambivalent about super/bat vs tim/ber i actively dislike. i like lois lane too much to stand most super/bat shippers (and generally im just more interested in superfam, and seeing supers get characterized as just bat accessories is boring and eyerollworthy to me), but at least i can see where they're coming from bc some of those comics. hm. something fruity going on there. i see it.

whereas tim/ber just pisses me off because tim drake: robin is genuinely the worst comic i have ever read. in order to enjoy this ship i would have to throw out what of it exists in canon and rebuild it from the ground up, at which point its like not even the same ship it's me liking a tim/my oc story. there's just nothing in canon that sparks any joy to me about them. it reads like yaoi fanfic by a 13 year old on wattpad, complete with putting down the girls tim dated before bernard and everything. reading tdr made me a little homophobic i think. deeply disappointing tbh, but alas.

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.)

mae kent is... interesting. i very much liked it when she went off the shits and nearly killed lex luthor. i wish she'd gotten to go off the shits more. go queen fuck him up

alphabet ask game!

#answers #song-of-fairies

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batfam-slash · 2 years

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Tim avoids thinking about his 30th birthday until Bruce reminds him that there are only six months to go.

“I know the last year has been difficult for you,” Bruce says quietly, “and I’m sorry to bring it up again…but we really need to find you a mate.”

Tim doesn’t want to think about this.

If Kon were still alive he wouldn’t have to think about this. He’d be happily mated to an alpha he loves, and he be complying with the stupid outdated law that requires omegas to be mated by their 30th birthday.

But Kon is dead and Tim is unmated, and his 30th birthday is in six months. So he does have to think about this.

If he doesn’t, he’ll be auctioned off to the first alpha that wants him, and in a city like Gotham that can only be bad. He’d like at least some say in the alpha he is to spend the rest of his life with.

The problem is, Tim is late to the party. Nearly all the other alphas he’s friends with or likes or respects are mated already. Tim has spent the last year mourning the man he loves - loved - and now he’s too late.

Kon isn’t here to save him.

“I know you won’t like this,” Dick says to Tim gently one afternoon, “but what about B? He’s unmated. He’d do it for you in a heartbeat if you asked. He’ll probably offer anyway if you don’t find someone soon. And I know it’s a little…ew, but it’s worth seriously considering if it’ll keep you from being mated to a stranger. At least you know B and can trust him. He’ll take care of you.”

Dick never had to worry of course. He had a string of alphas lined up to mate with him well before he was 30, and Jason was one of them.

Jason would have been Tim’s second choice after Kon.

Tim resigns himself to the fact that he’s probably going to end up mated to Bruce, and he should probably be grateful because it could be so much worse.

So he’s pleasantly surprised when Damian turns up at the WE offices and makes him an offer one afternoon.

“Father is going to ask you to mate with him before you turn thirty,” Damian tells Tim, green eyes focussed and serious. “But I wanted to offer myself as your alpha, if that’s something you might want to consider.”

Tim can only blink in surprise. “You want to be my alpha?”

“It’s not a matter of want, Drake. I’d want you to be free to choose your own alpha, but that’s not the world we live in.”

It may be the nicest thing Damian has ever said to Tim.

Damian has always behaved older than his years, but that seems particularly true now. He’s no longer the boy that used to taunt and argue with Tim constantly, but a man who’s earned Tim’s respect and is fiercely protective of his family.

“It’s a big offer to make,” Tim says gently. “You’d be giving up your life for me. You would never be able to mate with anyone else. You’re still so young-“

“I’m old enough to know what I’m offering. I’m not a child anymore.” Damian’s voice softens. “I just wanted to give you some sort of choice. It’s a mockery of a choice really, because you should be able to pick any alpha you want, or none at all, at a time of your choosing. But at least you can have some say in it. Me or Father. I won’t be offended if you choose Father, but know that I offer myself willingly and freely, and I will do my best to be a good mate for you.”

Tim can’t even look at him. “You’ll fall in love with the omega of your dreams one day and will hate me forever when you can’t have them.”

Damian snorts. “I already can’t have them. I’ve loved Richard since I was fourteen and I’ve had to watch him be mated to Todd. I’ve lost my beloved and you’ve lost yours. We are united in that at least.”

Tim doesn’t think he’s ever seen this level of vulnerability or openness from Damian before. He really is a man now.

“I guess we are.” Tim smiles tiredly. “Dami…you’re sure? This is huge. And let’s not forget you once described me as utterly repulsive.”

“Lies,” Damian replies softly. “I was a child then. You and I haven’t always seen eye to eye, but we’re pack. Richard may be the most beautiful omega I’ve ever seen, but you also come close.”

Tim laughs at that.

Damian spends perhaps another ten minutes reassuring Tim that he wants to do this before Tim accepts his offer.

“I will protect you,” Damian promises before he leaves, bringing Tim’s hand to his lips to kiss his knuckles.

And for the first time in over a year, Tim realises he’s sat through a whole conversation without thinking about Kon.

#damitim #alpha/omega #timkon #jaydick

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dramatic-squirrel · 1 year

Text

Daminette December Day 13- Drink

@maribat-calendar-events

Ten minutes in and Marinette wasn’t sure she was going to last. She looked around the dining room marking all the possible exits and while she tried to be subtle, she was positive more than one of the Wayne’s had noticed what she was doing. Although, how could you blame her, for the last ten minutes, no one had said anything, not even small talk to break the silence, she felt like she was being interrogated not meeting her boyfriend’s family.

“Master Bruce,” the sound of Alfred’s voice was like sweet salvation to Marinette. “I believe dinners are usually more enjoyable with conversation.” He gave a pointed stare.

Damian’s father glared back at Alfred, but relented in the end. “So Marinette, Damian’s told us that you’re aspiring to run your own fashion line.”

“Oh, uh… yes. It’s my dream to one day have my own brand. I have a few clients already, but I haven’t expanded to the public just yet.” From across the table she thought she heard Tim mutter something about already knowing that before the thud of something hitting something else resounded in the silence that had descended upon the table once again. Marinette tried to think of something to talk about but besides Damian, she rarely ever had long conversations with non-superheroes.

As she was wondering if it would be too depressing to bring up the recent crisis happening in Cape Town, she reached for her drink. Her anxiety was making her thirsty, so she didn’t even hesitate to drink it all in one go. That was a mistake for two reasons. The first being, that it wasn’t her drink, as Barbra tried to tell her the split second before Marinette downed the beverage. The second mistake was that the drink was alcohol, fairly strong alcohol at that, as it burned her throat as she swallowed.

She tried to suppress her coughing so as to not draw attention to herself, but the more she tried the more obvious it was that she was choking on literally air. Her face began to turn red and Marinette wasn’t sure if it was because of the coughing, the alcohol, or the embarrassment. When she had finally stopped, all eyes had turned on the Marinette, while she wished that she could just teleport away with Kaalki.

Dick broke the silence. “So… The food is really great. Thanks, Alfred.” Everyone murmured their agreements. A few minutes later, the alcohol started taking effect, as Marintte suddenly started to feel dizzy. It wasn’t her first time drinking alcohol although she only ever had a sip or two for the most part, so her tolerance was really low.

“Did you know that ladybugs hibernate in colonies of upwards to a thousand ladybugs?” a tiny hiccup escaped, her face flushed. Everyone stared at her again, wondering how they came onto this topic. “And cats apparently can’t taste sweet things. Isn’t that fascinating?”

“Now I see why Damian fell in love, she’s an animal lover.” Jason nodded his head in understanding.

“Animals are nice,” Marinette nodded along with him. “But I hate butterflies and peacocks. They’re so annoying.” she scrunched up her nose at the memories they brought up.

“Uh, maybe we should let Marinette lie down for a bit before she embarrasses herself.” Dick suggested.

Damian stood up to guide her to the living room when she spoke up again. “A secret kept in a shell is a pearl and a spicy rock is ginger.”

“Oh great, she’s speaking in riddles now. We just dealt with the Riddler! Can’t we just have one night before going back to the riddles thing?” Tim yelled.

“Drake, you goddamn moron.” Damian cursed at him. “Has your sleep deprived brain rid you of any sense of secrecy?” Tim just stared at him too zoned out to make out what he was saying.

“Calm down, Damian.” Dick tried to placate. “Marinette, Tim was just talking about how Wayne Enterprises was attacked recently by the Riddler.” He gave a pretty convincing excuse.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t convincing enough for Marinette. “You’re all Batman! Or Batman and Robin and Nightwing and…” she tried to count how many vigilantes there were. “...and the rest of them!”

“Noooo. Nope, we’re just your average billionaire family.” Dick was terrible at lying. At the head of the table Bruce just sighed as he prepped for the headache that would come from dealing with the fall out of this dinner.

“I wonder if it’s a rich person thing. Cause a lot of rich people are villains, but my friend Adrien’s also a superhero.” Marinette quickly covered her mouth, dread appearing on her face at the admission, meanwhile, everyone else paused what they were doing. “Did I say superhero, pfft, I meant super dork. We’re not… he’s not, I mean he couldn’t be a superhero.”

“You’re a superhero?” Damian asked her. He didn’t wait for a response. “That explains why your martial arts skills, gymnastic abilities and high level of leadership skills.”

She swayed a bit from side to side. “Ok, look. I’ll tell you mine, if you tell me yours.” “Tell you what?” Tim asked.

“Identities,” she whispered it like someone else was going to hear. “I’ll go first. I’m-”

“Still incredibly drunk.” Damian cut her off. “We can discuss this at a later time. Let me show you somewhere you may lay down.”

“But-”

“Tim,” Bruce interrupted. “Damian’s right. We’ll bring it up later. Marinette, I apologize for how the dinner has gone this evening. I hope you can rest well, and safely make it back home.”

She looked confused before smiling. “It was nice meeting you, Bats, Robins. Bug out” she saluted then walked out of the room on unsteady feet, Damian helping her.

As soon as she left, Jason couldn’t help himself. “Finally, something we can blame on Babs.”

“Fuck you Jason.”

#daminette December 2022 #daminette december #daminette #maribat #maribat event #wtf did i just write #i'm sorry this is the only idea i could think of #and i had no clue how to write it

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thattimdrakeguy · 2 years

Text

Tim Drake: Robin is probably not going to be very good.

OH HOLY GOODNESS. GREAT GARGOYLE. SWEEET SUNDAY AFTERNOON, GOODNESS GRACIOUS. ALL THAT.

Hi, you may know me from such motion pictures as, ‘I stole this from the Simpsons’ and ‘Being Self Aware Isn’t Always Funny, But It Hasn’t Stopped Me So Far’

I think this comic is a train wreck. I think we have a problem here, I’m sorry, but mmm mmm mmm. This is looking like the deep south side of elevation.

But we can learn from this. We can we can, trust me, we can. While also being kind of upset that this is Tim’s first major comic in over a decade, because I’m not going to be timid. I’ll say it, I’ll go ahead, it fucking sucks.

It does. But why? Someone probably saw this post and went “What the hell is he going on about...?” and...well.

Look I’m just going to be blunt, so let’s not make this difficult...but...imagine I’m sighing or something, make this melodramatic for no actually good reason, but this preview they gave is a damn train wreck.

I am going to give my reasons for why, but let me just get my not really critical thoughts on what’s presented and just my general thoughts on what I’m seeing so far if that makes any sense.

To say that, I am freaking SOOOOOOO upset that this is Tim’s big comeback comic. This is a pile of pages that shouldn’t have to be paid for to see it legally.

I’m pretty sure they advertised Tim Drake as the World’s Favorite Robin or something like that, and beyond the fact that you know damn well given that there’s 5 different Robins simply in the main universe alone, that people are going to be snapping back at that like crazy.

But with this as the comic they’re presenting it is laughable.

And believe me when I say I am feeling the exact opposite of pleasure by saying that.

Because this isn’t even a comic about Tim Drake. This is a below average fan fiction, that’d barely get past 100 views on AO3, except if you want to legally see it, you have to pay for it. All while this is the first ongoing solo Tim has had in over a decade, and this is a really crappy way to get into that.

This is all from a preview. But I am not saying anything that is not a legitimate critique. And I wouldn’t be sitting up out of my coffin to say any of this unless I genuinely felt worried. I am not doing this out of hate, we don’t have enough time to hate unless it’s justified, and I’m not crazy enough to say I hate this in mean it. I just also think that it’s the opposite of good.

So let me get into this step by step:

Okay, step one, I’m going to just speak as if I’m talking to you, okay? I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that, this is not a two way post, you can hear me, I can’t hear you, sorry how awkward that is. Anyways.

You’re writing a comic about a character. A very specific character. A character that used to be super popular, but still has a devoted fan base, that’s had to go through so many random character changes and dips in quality through the last 20 years especially that people have seen him gone from DC’s most popular teen superhero, selling only second in that department to SUPERMAN AS A TEENAGE BOY. Which says quite a lot. To a character deemed irrelevant because I hardly feel like they get anyone to write him that knows how to write a decent story with him.

And now we got six pages out of a...what, 20 page thing?

LET’S REALLY GET THIS ROLLING I AM TAKING UP TOO MUCH TIME.

But here’s how these six pages are already awful in genuinely, what shouldn’t be controversial reasons, because this is just how a story is made, all right.

1. Six pages, and not a single one of them gives you anything that identifies this black haired skeleton as Tim Drake besides the fact you know he is supposed to be Tim Drake.

You write a character...you gotta make sure it’s an actual character. This black haired skeleton says nothing that gives him a personality, or anything that resembles who Tim is as a person, and instead--let me blunt here.

Yes, it is kind of cute, but that’s not an actual excuse or substitute for character writing. I am talking about this from a writing perspective not if I think it’s cute enough. If you like it, I’m happy for you. I am not.

A very generic character, who’s dialogue and thoughts you could give to about near any character. He has no interesting POV anymore, there’s nothing you can relate to with him, no specific voice for him. ETC ETC. (Yes, I only showed two pages, but trust me, it does not get better.) Things that made him work, also hahaha I know people think he has no personality, but I’m not an idiot, and I am fully aware that he does have a personality, I am sorry for having better reading comprehension, folks that think that, I really really am.

Six pages of nothing that makes this drawing Tim Drake. And since he is the star of this show this is freaking awful. This is horrendous. Your job as a writer is to let people know who this guy is, why you should like him, what some of his flaws are, and put him in situations where you can learn how he is. You have to make him feel like he’s worth reading on his own. You do, you really really do.

That is the basics of character work. The fact that this is a preview means nothing, because this is what people are supposed to read to know if they want to read this comic.

2. This art is, I betchu, so perfect...for another series. Where it will bring you some honestly whimsical imagery for a specific story. Any refined art style is beautiful...in the right context. And this art style sadly does not fit this character in anyway.

Also the fact that are drawing Bernard to look more feminine, and give him mannerisms that are not mannerisms Bernard has is also just fucking patronizing and I hate it. If you’re telling people Bernard is in the comic, you’re supposed to draw Bernard, but sadly he is no where to be found.

He’s never exactly been a beacon of pure testosterone, but he’s clearly not supposed to be like this. He’s obviously not meant to be feminine, he’s a bit masculine if anything, unless you’re going to be weird and call longer hair a sign that he’s feminine, which...it is not. They’re now just making him a stereotype and that’s freaking horrendous of them to do.

3. What character work they give you is stuff you can get for free on Tumblr, Twitter, and about near everywhere. Because it’s just taking stuff you see for free on websites and putting it in a comic for easy fan praise, when really is lazy as could be.

They have Bernard saying conspiracy theories, this is a part of him, a lot of us know it, a lot of like this, so do I, so why am I being negative?

Because this doesn’t actually tell me anything about him that lets me know what he’s like or who he is. It tells me one superficial trope. How am I supposed to know what he’d do in any situation like this? Stuff I should probably be able to tell to get myself invested in him.

One of the biggest complaints about him right now is that he’s so bland. And not making him feel like a real person isn’t helping. You can have him say conspiracy theories, while also feeling like a real person.

Remember, this is a product you have to pay to legally see. This isn’t just a fan fiction someone made for free. The standards are a bit different. Keep that in mind when I’m saying all of this. ‘Cause I wouldn’t bother saying any of that for a fan fiction. I don’t want to kill people’s fun, I’m just trying to be honest here.

The original Bernard introduction shows you he thinks highly of himself or at least wants others to think that, shows he’s a big smug, likes to show off to people, and sees something he can relate to and is intrigued by in our main protagonist.

They accomplished that I believe in a single page or two.

It also shows just how horribly they’ve written, drawn, and overall portrayed Bernard. Because while I wouldn’t call the run of Robin he came from overly good, in fact some parts are straight up bad, this introduction is in the end, a really good character introduction.

Take the established names off of this and post it online, and you have a very cute gay boyfriends comic that I’m sure people are going to love, because then it’s in the right place, and fits where it is.

Sadly this is a Tim Drake comic, and nothing about this has anything to do with who Tim Drake is.

“I need to found out who I am” “Can I call him my boyfriend” “I moved ‘cause I needed to find myself”

Bad character work besides the boyfriend line. Why? ‘Cause that’s telling you how comfortable he is in his sexuality right now. He just came out. This is a logical progression in Tim Drake’s story. Sadly, we still need more than that, we need to know who Tim Drake is.

They also settle for having Tim Drake describe the characters generically, instead of giving us any interesting scenes with them to show us what they are. They are telling, not showing. Bad bad writing. It’s one panel, and it’s all described, you can barely identify them truly. They’re all immediately washed away as none important. Maybe some will eventually, but for a first issue this is not the way to debut these people if you expect anything significant.

In technical terms, for those that do not know. There’s a many view out there, it’s okay. There’s many writers in the making that can learn a lesson here.

But the technical term for this is:

Lazy fucking writing.

Unless you have an audience that is really willing to try super hard, you are not going to get anybody attached to the characters this way. You need to see them be them, doing themselves. If you’re a writer you need to do stuff that the reader can identify this character with.

For fucks sake there’s a scene that should in theory show us some of Tim’s new neighbors. Which, by the way, the fact he moved is ridiculous, because we don’t even know Tim’s personal life where he was. Making all of this pointless, except for the writer to go straight into their own desires. Which is also bad, because then you’re missing viable parts of things to make it work.

Tim was fine, then a new writer comes along, he’s in a crisis, couple more appearances, nothing really showing that this move is a natural progression. There for lady's, gents, nonbinary homies, what does that make it? Unnatural. Yes, forced. That’s bad. You want it to be natural so that you aren’t catching your audience off guard in a bad way by wondering “Why the fuck?” all the damn time, okay? There’s another writing type for you, and if you’re struggling with this, read back your work in the perspective of, you’re someone who has no idea who these characters are, and why this is happening. If you’re left just accepting crap ‘cause it’s said for the most part, your audience is going to suffer a bit.

Now anyways, we see these neighbors, they’re a bit frantic, why? Because oh my gosh people are trying to evict them! That’s terrible! People can relate to that! It’s real. Likely happening to some of the readers!

There you go, you have your moment to really make people care beyond a superficial.

And well, Bernard calls them weird. That’s it. Okay, the moments gone, that doesn’t really fit after that, he comes off as insensitive, the line about capitalist fat cats is embarrassingly unnatural, and this is already being printed. Lost opportunity. Nothing but a plot point and somebody saying that who I presume is their mom is pushy.

Like portraying people as genuinely worried about if they’re going to be able to stay where they live, and saying their weird, is some freaking weird writing. It’s trying to be quirky by force.

Again though, with the characters they’re saying, not showing. Sometimes you do need to say stuff. You show everything and your pacing is destroyed. But who characters are is so undoubtedly something that needs to be shown.

The characters who people SAY stuff about in the stories are the characters people DON’T care about. One offs, characters that are about to die, unimportant side characters needed for a plot if needed, but eh, who really cares.

Bad bad bad bad bad. You’re failing, oh my gosh, things are dropping. What’s dropping? I’m sorry but the quality is dropping, dear goodness, dear goodness. Okay, this isn’t good. But STOP.

Calm down, unless like what’s actually what’s happening, you’re already calm. I’m happy for you. I’m mostly just having fun typing this don’t worry about me if you’ve even made this far.

OOooooooooooooof.

Oh dear...this is worse, okay maybe get your guard up. More opportunity for learning.

You definitely shouldn’t have this be so far the only thing establishing your main character, especially this early in when we’re supposed to be learning about them. If you’ve wasted this much time, you are doing a bad job at writing your characters.

This means nothing.

This is what people make fun of Riverdale for, but you actually put it in your story. Bad, this doesn’t actually say shit about them first of all. Weird? Weird? Well, what’s normal? See, we don’t know, because that’s a shit way to establish their relationship. More saying, not seeing, and what you’re saying is vague, BAD BAD BAD WRITER BAD.

But it’s okay.

We can all learn. If you stop trying to learn you stop learning. You stop learning, you ain’t getting better. If you’re a writer yourself this isn’t time to start being sad ‘cause you do this too. Because by fucking goodness, you’re going to be better than this, you now know why you shouldn’t do this. And that is good, I am proud of you, you are evolving, you are learning, you are being better by just processing some of this. I’m so fucking happy for you right now, my tears could burst if that’s a saying that means anything, I am not sure. I just said ain’t, and ain’t isn’t a word.

They just kept doing this. What page are we on now? PAGE 5?? OUT OF A 20 PAGE FORMAT?? oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.

Well what’s the next page of this preview, OH MOTHER OF NEPTUNE, THIS IS WHERE THEY ACTUALLY LEAVE THE CHARACTER WORK HANGING, as far as we know. (I am being a bit melodramatic for fun here. Don’t take these frantic moments too seriously. I’d just rather have fun than be depressed and talk about why something was bad.)

I mean cool, it sets up the location, but that means jack shit, we have to know the people better than this first. Set up a reason they’re all together, maybe even just have Tim pop through. Few panels showing what the people are like in their natural climate, there you go, it’s not much but it’s much better than just telling us crap.

AND THE MESSED UP THING IS, so far, we know the least about Tim, because ‘weird’ isn’t a damn personality.

Within six pages, we should know more about Tim Drake than he’s vaguely weird according to himself, that he has apparently weird neighbors...when they seem to just be average people, and that a plot point is that a rich kid’s neighbors might be evicted.

You’re wasting page space if this is all you’ve done.

Yes, this is a pre-established character, but that isn’t an excuse for being lazy. You have to assure people you know what you’re writing, and going off everything except for one story that came out over a year ago now, they don’t know what they’re doing.

They had the perverted character be excited 20 years ago, but when they mention it they have that one act traumatized.

They had a character that was actually pretty calm and average about his attraction to woman, and had them say something sexist.

They had a character that left because of how stressful the life of being a super hero is, as well as the fact their abusive mother forced them into it be just an awful awful thing, and had the character say that all her friends are toxic.

They couldn’t even get a villain right, and had to use fandom crap to fill in places, and didn’t use any of the stuff that might be accurate.

There’s giving people a chance to impress you with their cooking, and then there’s people still saying that as they spilled hot fucking soup all over your crotch 5 fucking times now every time they try to give you something, months passing by.

And I’m not somebody who gives people the benefit of the doubt after a while. But that doesn’t make who wrote this a bad person. I wouldn’t treat them as such. Criticism can be awful, but I’m trying to make it as constructive as possible, because I don’t want to see people fail unless they’re evil, and trying to provide people entertainment isn’t evil.

It’s just awful to me that there’s this character I love who’s getting his first real time to shine in over a decade, and I was someone who hated the last comic even then, and have it be that it’s still not going to be good.

I love Tim Drake, my favorite character, I know such much about him, and at one point I was fortunate enough to be considered a very reliable source of Tim information, before I decided waiting for another good comic wasn’t a very good use of my time, and dealing with seeing people, lying, being toxic, exaggerate, spreading false information just wasn’t helping my already decrepit depression issues.

Hence all of this, but all I can hope for is at least somebody learns something about it.

Because, really, I don’t have time to not be honest about how I feel about a comic, just because I got attached to who’s supposed to be the lead character. There’s not enough time in life to waste by pretending to enjoy something for such a superficial reason.

But fuck it, I can’t help but be curious.

This is what people are supposed to read to see if they’re even interested in the character to an extent. This isn’t nitpicking, this is basic writing.

And it’s not going well.

Wake me up out of my coffin when we finally get a comic starring Tim that actually feels like it’s about Tim.

For now, I’ll only be waking from my slumber only periodically for the next Titans United: Bloodpact issue to see if they can keep up the good work. Now that comic had a shockingly good Tim, and plus character work.

Be more like that when it comes to what made it work.

#Tim Drake #Robin #Bernard Dowd #DC Comics #Timber #Timbern #Comic Review #Review #Comic Books #So forth and all that

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olivia-anderson-fanfic · 2 years

Text

A Canary's Tweets

(Bolded are tweets that weren't already included in the fic)

Spoilers for the fic. Obviously.

~~~~~

OliverQueenOfficial: Why does that one Gotham villain go by Canary? Black Canary already exists.

TheBetterCanary: if youre gonna vague tweet maybe dont put my name in it

TheBetterCanary: but anyways someone else named me that and it stuck before i could think of something to change it to

ScareCrane:… @/RiddleMeThis she’s dissing you

RiddleMeThis: LISTEN UP. IT WAS THEMATIC. DON’T ANY OF YOU KNOW ANYTHING OF DRAMA? EVER HEAR ABOUT CANARIES IN COAL MINES? FUCK ALL OF YOU AND YOUR UNCULTURED, UNEDUCATED ASSES. NOT TO MENTION IT WAS MAKING FUN OF THE BIRD THEME ALL THE VIGILANTES HER AGE SEEM TO HAVE. (1/14)

TheBetterCanary: @/ScareCrane why would you do that you knew he was going to do this

ScareCrane: Joker just broke out so Arkham is boring… needed to entertain myself somehow

TheBetterCanary: fuck you im not visiting this weekend

OliverQueenOfficial: Wow do I regret asking. I didn’t need all this family drama in my comments.

TheBetterCanary: @/Yummmmmm enemies to lovers 180k with me

Yummmmmm: I hate you

TheBetterCanary: and so it begins

TheBetterCanary: gonna lace a cross with kryptonite i think that would be so funny

TheBetterCanary: the christians would so cancel superman if he had to shy away from a cross

Yummmmmm: Isn’t he already canceled because he’s Jewish

Supes: Please stop reminding them.

TheBetterCanary: @/Yummmmmm stop hacking into my twitter to unblock nightwing he keeps liking my tweets hating on him *liked by Daylightwing*

TheBetterCanary: you guys think youre so funny *liked by Daylightwing*

Gothamlite: Red Robin and Nightwing really said I will hack Canary’s twitter but not to figure out her location, no we must mildly inconvenience her by unblocking Nightwing.

TheBetterCanary: to be fair the unblocking nightwing thing is far more annoying to me *Liked by Daylightwing*

TheBetterCanary: motherfucker

TheBetterCanary: where are you guys @/ScareCrane @/RiddleMeThis

ScareCrane: Arkham…

TheBetterCanary: leave i want to talk to you

RiddleMeThis: We can’t just leave.

TheBetterCanary: yeah you can all you gotta do is get out

RiddleMeThis: It’s not that easy for us.

TheBetterCanary: oh right

TheBetterCanary: want me to help you guys out

ScareCrane: Yes please

ArkhamStaffHateClub: and, in today’s news, the day canary is spotted walking into arkham is the same day there was a breakout

TheBetterCanary: i have no clue why they even let me in anymore

Gothamlite: @/GCPDNews @/Batman7 @/Oracle @/Yummmmmm

TheBetterCanary: hey youre nineteen right

Gothamlite: Yes?

TheBetterCanary: fair game

TheBetterCanary: tim drake 🤝 red robin throwing coffee cups in random trash cans so their families don't know how much they’re drinking

Yummmmmm: Snitch

ScareCrane: Well, if nothing else, giving Canary therapy has been interesting…

SpoilerAlert: did you learn anything

ScareCrane: I confirmed that she’s a pathological liar…

TheBetterCanary: @/BrucieWayne give me a hundred million dollars and ill stop doing crime

BrucieWayne: Done.

TheBetterCanary: i take it back five hundred million

BrucieWayne: Sure.

TheBetterCanary: a billion

BrucieWayne: Alright.

TheBetterCanary: what the fuck

NightwingsAss9384: does anyone know why nightwing and canary hate each other?

ScareCrane: She stabbed Batman once on accident and somehow got away with blaming it on him

Daylightwing: She refuses to let B adopt her.

RiddleMeThis: They think it’s funny when their stans fight.

SignalOfficial: They said ‘I’m the only flippy bitch allowed in New Jersey’ and have been fighting ever since

Yummmmmm: He has to or else Robin will get jealous because he’s the only stabby sibling allowed

Oracle: They’re fighting over who gets to change their name to ‘The Dodo’ first.

DeadHood: Nightwing is jealous that Canary was the first one of us to think to have a full-on bird mask.

TheBetterCanary: every time i go into the batfam tag to try and avoid them all i see is his fancams

SpoilerAlert: they’re both convinced that they’re the hottest bachelor/bachelorette in gotham

NightwingsAss9384: im beginning to think no ones going to tell me.

BlackBat: :)

RiddleMeThis: I can’t believe Spoiler likes me more than my own daughter.

SpoilerAlert: i just think you’re better than cluemaster was, i don’t like you

ScareCrane: To be fair he didnt say you had to like him… just that you liked him more than Canary

ScareCrane: Anyways, what did you do @/TheBetterCanary

TheBetterCanary: hes just being dramatic because i solved one of his riddles too quickly

RiddleMeThis: IT IS COMMON ETIQUETTE TO LET SOMEONE FINISH TALKING BEFORE YOU ANSWER THEM.

TheBetterCanary: beat the shit out of a joker stan today so i think my life is going pretty good

SpoilerAlert: 👨🦯👨🦯

Daylightwing: As You Should.

Oracle: Oh dear, seems like I’ve gone blind now, too.

Batman7: As long as no one died...

DeadHood: Not as good as beating the shit out of the real thing, but still pretty good.

BlackBat: :D

TheOneTrueRobin: Good for her.

TheBetterCanary: we all know that there is a tier list of rogue stans

TheBetterCanary: like poison ivy and mr freeze stans are all just leftists that want a healthy world and for people to not die because theyre poor

TheBetterCanary: harley quinn stans want her to achieve personal growth and thats respectable i guess

TheBetterCanary: then theres my stans and thats just because half of them arent even aware im a villain they just think im some influencer thats very committed to a bit and the other half are just horny which is fair i guess

TheBetterCanary: then theres every other stan right

TheBetterCanary: and of course at the bottom are joker stans because theyre nazis

Joker: WHAT

TheBetterCanary: did you not know

Joker: GIVE ME A MINUTE

TheBetterCanary: wait no dm me where you are i want to punch a couple of them too

BlackGatePrison: We have made this account to kindly ask Canary to stop helping Yakuza members break out of prison.

TheBetterCanary: no their restaurants make good food

TheBetterCanary: in case you were wondering rogues do in fact reuse a lot of their speeches

TheBetterCanary: especially @/RiddleMeThis he reuses the same like five riddles over and over again

RiddleMeThis: Why would you expose your own father like this?

TheBetterCanary: im sick of those riddles get new ones you unoriginal fuck

TheBetterCanary: you just lost the game

RiddleMeThis: FUCK YOU.

Supes: Why are Rogues… like that?

TheBetterCanary: mental illness

Supes: I see.

GotHam: Does anyone know Canary’s tragic backstory?

TheBetterCanary: i met a parisian once

DeadHood: Know what? I think she should be allowed to commit crimes. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.

TheBetterCanary: thanks for offering support during these trying times

TheBetterCanary: friendly reminder that i can and have benched batman so fucking with me is a bad idea

RiddleMeThis: Bullshit.

TheBetterCanary: meet me at the park ill prove it

TheBetterCanary: @/Batman7 get the stick out of your ass and get over here itll be fun

GothamGazette: Canary can, in fact, bench Batman. See the attached article for how they discovered this fact and how their respective friends and family reacted.

TheBetterCanary: calling him the riddler implies that there are other riddlers that are less important therefore it is stupid and i refuse to say the the part aloud

RiddleMeThis: Someone got onto you about your grammar again, didn’t they?

TheBetterCanary: you dont get to be condescending until you win against the bats even once

RedRobinsCape: red robin gives off so much Bi Wife Energy it’s insane

Yummmmmm: What do you mean bi wife energy, Red Robin IS bi

TheOneTrueRobin: This is not your private account.

Yummmmmm: Fuck

GothamTimes: We are pleased to announce that Robin has officially come out as bisexual!

Yummmmmm: Hate to tell you this @/GothamTimes but you forgot part of my name

TheOneTrueRobin: No. I stole the bisexuality from you when you became Red Robin.

TheBetterCanary: hold up guys maybe they just think that all of the robins are bi

DeadHood: Being bi is actually a little-known prerequisite for being Robin.

SpoilerAlert: roBIn

Daylightwing: @/TheBetterCanary Youre bi right?

TheBetterCanary: all these years avoiding being adopted by batman and its my sexuality that screwed me over

TheBetterCanary: why go to a professional doctor who spent years getting their degree when you can get fixed up by a guy named brett in his mothers garage

Yummmmmm: @/TheBetterCanary If you could do one crime without consequences what would you do

TheBetterCanary: i do that anyways

TheBetterCanary: but also id beat up the guy who came up with trickle down economics

Yummmmmm: Ronald Reagan is already dead

TheBetterCanary: i could be digging up corpses to beat them up in my spare time you dont know me

GothamGazette: And, for the fourth year in a row, Canary has been nominated as the city’s favorite Rogue! See the attached article for the other rankings.

TheBetterCanary: further proof that im the hottest rogue in gotham

DeadHood: Bullshit.

Catwomnyan: Not at all.

PoisonIvy: No❤️

RiddleMeThis: I never should have helped her. I used to win every year and this is the thanks I get.

Penguin: Don’t feel bad, I’m pretty sure she rigs it

TheBetterCanary: please if i rigged it id set it up so i would win by exactly one point

ScareCrane: Someone’s just mad that they got last place

Penguin: I got placed lower than Joker, of course I’m mad

TheBetterCanary: its because youre boring hope that helps

TheBetterCanary: just saw catwoman make out with batman to get out of jail so here is my formal application to be red robins fuck buddy

Yummmmmm: Why me

TheBetterCanary: all the other bats around my age are way out of my league so youre my last resort

SpoilerAlert: ouch™ sucks to suck red

BlackBat: XD

SignalOfficial: I mean… she’s not wrong

Yummmmmm: You’re all dead to me

TheBetterCanary: one day robin will get a cat and name it batcat and it will completely ruin the batfamily ship and pet tags

TheOneTrueRobin: @/Batman7 Father…

TheBetterCanary: everyone thinks i know things because im smart but a lot of the time people just accidentally tell me things

TheBetterCanary: the reason i found out about the league was that one of their members saw i was asian and just assumed i was one of them and no one realized i was just some random person until like three weeks in

BernieDowd: the league?

TheBetterCanary: dont worry about it

TheBetterCanary: wait youre that conspiracy theorist actually do worry about it i would love to know what you think im talking about

SpoilerAlert: canary totally has a knife kink

TheBetterCanary: what the fuck

SpoilerAlert: why else would you use knives almost exclusively

TheBetterCanary: because theyre quiet

TheBetterCanary: and stabby

SpoilerAlert: you’re so right i’m so sorry

GothamGazette: Riddler and Canary’s vendetta against escape rooms! See the attached photo and article!

TheBetterCanary: @/ScareCrane look mom were on tv

ScareCrane: Very proud of you sweetie

MetropolisIsOverrated: Did I just watch canary and riddler use a police car like it was a fucking CAB??

RiddleMeThis: You missed the perfect opportunity for an 'ACAB' joke.

SignalOfficial: Damn it… can’t believe you’re out of custody already

TheBetterCanary: bold of you to assume we were ever in custody

TimDrakeWayne: Sometimes I wonder whether I’ve seen Canary at cosplay shops before and just not recognized her

TheBetterCanary: it isnt cosplay its acting

TimDrakeWayne: And where do you get your costumes

TheBetterCanary: alright everyone socialist uprising time its time to eat the rich especially this guy

TimDrakeWayne: Please don’t, I probably don’t taste good

TheBetterCanary: watching a furry get beat up like damn but its kinda his fault for going out in a fursuit

TheBetterCanary: i cant believe this is what im getting cancelled over and not the millions of times i helped out villains

TheBetterCanary: oh so now everyone cares about the villain thing wow i see how it is

TheBetterCanary: im a gothamite this is literally a joke about all the fursuits that the vigilantes and rogues have i dont care about actual furries damn

TheBetterCanary: twitter unverified me over this im going to commit a murder

TheBetterCanary: going to start calling villains i dont like by the wrong name to annoy them

TheBetterCanary: called penguin a cuckoo and he really acted like i was stigmatizing mental illness like bitch i am mental illness

TheBetterCanary: okay apparently blockbuster really misses disco he just burst into tears in front of me what do i do

TheBetterCanary: called joker jack and he freaked and tried to shoot me

TheBetterCanary: i have given up calling them the wrong names

TheBetterCanary: hey @/RiddleMeThis and @/ScareCrane marry each other and claim me as a dependant

ScareCrane: I mean… sure but why

TheBetterCanary: tax benefits

RiddleMeThis: You’re so right. Meet me in an hour.

Yummmmmm: I hate to be a buzzkill but, if you’re going to commit marriage fraud, maybe don’t announce it on a public platform

TheBetterCanary: maybe dont be a snitch and mind your own business damn

Yummmmmm: Your job is literally being a snitch and not minding your own business

TheBetterCanary: yeah but when i do it its in the cool sexy way

TheBetterCanary: props to the guy that tried to pull an updog on me the other day he definitely had some guts

TheOneTrueRobin: What is “updog”?

TheBetterCanary: oh honey i am so sorry

SpoilerAlert: nothing whats up with you

Daylightwing: Nothing wbu?

Oracle: Are we going to pretend that Canary didn’t definitely harvest organs from that guy?

SignalOfficial: Nothing much whats up with you

TheBetterCanary: @/TheOneTrueRobin hey i need help with a math problem can you come here

TheOneTrueRobin: I suppose so.

TheOneTrueRobin: She was setting up a sniper gun.

TheBetterCanary: to be fair theres angles involved

Batman7: @/TheOneTrueRobin You didn’t help her, correct?

Batman7: @/TheOneTrueRobin?

GothamGazette: Joker gets shot in the hand!

Batman7: Well, at least she didn’t kill anyone, I guess.

Joker: THERE IS A FUCKING HOLE IN MY PALM.

TheBetterCanary: i was aiming for your middle finger if that makes you feel any better

Joker: YKNOW IT REALLY FUCKING DOESNT.

SignalOfficial: Holy shit @/TheBetterCanary do you seriously have a Nokia

TheBetterCanary: fuck off im tired of my phones breaking while i fight

TheBetterCanary: or better yet donate to a gofundme to get me a better phone

TheBetterCanary: the quickest way to my heart is through someone elses

Batman7: Please stop encouraging people to commit murder.

TheBetterCanary: no

Yummmmmm: @/TheBetterCanary Stop pulling the racism card at every minor inconvenience challenge

TheBetterCanary: is this sexism that i am experiencing

TheBetterCanary: do i sense a bit of homophobia here

TheBetterCanary: look at this ableist bitch

SignalOfficial: Honestly @/Yummmmmm you played yourself here

SpoilerAlert: gee bill how come your mom lets you have four minorities

TheBetterCanary: ive got a punchcard and if i collect five minorities i get one get out of jail free card

Oracle: @/TheBetterCanary Wait. Ableism?

TheBetterCanary: what about me screams mentally stable to you

TheBetterCanary: penguin feels homophobic but you didnt hear it from me

RiddleMeThis: He isn’t. Trust me.

TheBetterCanary: hey what does this mean

TheBetterCanary: ed

TheBetterCanary: ed pick up the fucking phone

TheBetterCanary: this is now a riddler hate account

RiddleMeThis: I was 30! And mentally ill!

TheBetterCanary: as if you arent mentally ill now

TheBetterCanary: anyways @/ScareCrane congrats on winning youve got adoption rights

ScareCrane: As happy as I am… what happened

RiddleMeThis: She found out I dated Penguin fifteen years ago.

TheBetterCanary: im never forgiving you for this

TheBetterCanary: @/RiddleMeThis did you just throw a burlap sack full of money at my window

RiddleMeThis: Depends. Is it working?

TheBetterCanary: ooooo nonsequential serial numbers my favorite

TheBetterCanary: yeah youre back in the game

ScareCrane: DAMN IT

TheBetterCanary: ugh why is riddler so annoying

Gothamlite: Right?

TheBetterCanary: the fuck did you just say ill kill you

TheBetterCanary: reading self insert fanfiction about yourself is self care actually

TheBetterCanary: im thirsting over black bat on my first page glad to see they nailed my characterization

TheBetterCanary: how did they manage to find the one trauma i dont actually have like dude you were standing five feet in front of the target and you shot straight up what

TheBetterCanary: kissed a mirror to simulate kissing myself and let me say im not as good a kisser as i was in the fic

TheBetterCanary: if im screwing me is it masturbation or clone fucking

TheBetterCanary: theyre moving in together after three months its always great to see good lesbian representation

TheBetterCanary: im taking myself on a shopping spree and honestly good for me

TheBetterCanary: haha wait a minute why are there death flags

TheBetterCanary: i missed major character death in the tags hlep

Yummmmmm: Rip

SpoilerAlert: happy two year anniversary to the time canary and red robin dressed up as each other for halloween and almost ruined each other’s reputation in opposite ways

TheBetterCanary: im still offended you guys think that im secretly a good person

Yummmmmm: At least they don’t think you’d turn evil at the drop of a hat

DeadHood: To be fair, out of every Rogue and Vigilante, you two are the most likely to switch sides.

TheBetterCanary: fucks that supposed to mean

Yummmmmm: Go back to angsting over Percy Jackson not being as good as it used to be or something fuck you

TheBetterCanary: harry potter and the audacity of this bitch

Yummmmmm: As if you aren’t so in the middle that most people don’t know which side you’re on half the time

TheBetterCanary: you literally died and came back dont you talk about switching sides

SpoilerAlert: @/TheBetterCanary how did you get verified

TheBetterCanary: threats

SpoilerAlert: oh cool thanks for the tip

Batman7: @/TheBetterCanary Did any of my children visit your home last night for medical assistance?

TheBetterCanary: transfer me five thousand and ill tell you

Batman7: Done.

TheBetterCanary: nice

TheBetterCanary: anyways the answer is no they did not

TheBetterCanary: ew nightwing is in town for thanksgiving *liked by Daylightwing*

TheBetterCanary: @/RiddleMeThis do you still have that red wig or no

RiddleMeThis: You are not convincing me to try and seduce Nightwing.

GothamGazette: Nightwing spotted getting decked by what was obviously Riddler in a red wig! See the attached article for pictures!

Daylightwing: I mean. It wasn’t THAT obvious.

Yummmmmm: Gotta love when all of your POC friends gang up on you try and get you to say the word

Daylightwing: What word? I don’t know any words.

TheBetterCanary: cmon red answer the question we wont tell anyone

TheOneTrueRobin: We know you want to say it.

SignalOfficial: It’s fun I’ll even say it first if it makes you feel better

Yummmmmm: @/BlackBat Help

BlackBat: @/Daylightwing @/TheBetterCanary @/TheOneTrueRobin @/SignalOfficial

TheBetterCanary: scatter

TheBetterCanary: sometimes i remember that theres probably a huge database where the bats keep track of and analyze every tweet we rogues make and it makes me smile

TheBetterCanary: anyways

TheBetterCanary: contrary to popular opinion there is a difference between being a slut and having a lot of sex

TheBetterCanary: nightwing is a slut that is relatively monogamous *liked by Daylightwing*

TheBetterCanary: batman has ungodly amounts of sex in the worst places imaginable but no one would ever call him a slut

TheBetterCanary: thank you for coming to my ted talk

TheBetterCanary: we rogues and bats need a token straight so the straights dont get mad so who is gonna take the fall for us

Yummmmmm: They can have Joker, we don’t want him

TheBetterCanary: nah i dont want to know who he would fixate on if he liked women so someone else

RiddleMeThis: The straights can have Penguin.

TheBetterCanary: no i dont want him to have straight privilege

SignalOfficial: I’ll take one for the team

TheBetterCanary: this is why youre the best

RiddleMeThis: Has anyone ever wondered why @/ScareCrane hasn’t used a truth serum to figure out Batman’s identity yet? Because there’s a reason.

ScareCrane: I don’t deserve this…

RiddleMeThis: @/TheBetterCanary Do you want to do the honors of telling the public or should I?

TheBetterCanary: hahahaha oh right i remember that let me

TheBetterCanary: while it compels people to tell the truth it doesnt force them to tell them the answer

TheBetterCanary: so batman just ranted about his most recent hyperfixation for five hours until red robin showed up to help

SpoilerAlert: what was he hyperfixated on at the time lmao

ScareCrane: Sprinklers…

Yummmmmm: They were practically begging me to take them to Arkham by the end

Batman7: You three didn’t like the conversation we had?

BlackBat: @/RiddleMeThis @/ScareCrane @/TheBetterCanary

RiddleMeThis: It was very enlightening.

ScareCrane: It was actually very enjoyable

TheBetterCanary: ive always wanted to know about sprinklers

BlackBat: :)

MarryMeCanary: So since Canary knows a lot about shipping… do you guys think she has a tumblr?

TheBetterCanary: everyone should be glad i dont the only thing keeping me from going absolutely feral is the fact that i dont want to get banned on twitter

TheBetterCanary: every year i say this is the last year that im going to help my fellow rogues file their taxes for extra cash and every year im a liar please pay me money

User44555511552: Are we going to talk about how Rogues are literal SERIAL KILLERS but they still file taxes??? Because that shit is weird???

TheBetterCanary: there are two things that rogues fear

TheBetterCanary: the irs and the goon union

TheBetterCanary: yes i know they should have called it the goonion its not my fault they cant name things damn stop spamming me

User44555511552: But WHY are you scared of the IRS???

Yummmmmm: Because they can’t get off with insanity pleas so, hypothetically, they might actually have to face some kind of punishment for their crimes

TheBetterCanary: i should have called the cps on @/Batman7 when i had the chance

Yummmmmm: @/TheBetterCanary What did you do to piss of Ra’s

TheBetterCanary: who

TheBetterCanary: oh wait youre talking about old man number two

Yummmmmm: Nevermind I think I figured it out

TheOneTrueRobin: Old man number two?

TheBetterCanary: he and one other guy are both way over three hundred which makes them old men and i met him second therefore hes number two

TheBetterCanary: tell him that if he wants to be old man number one then he can always kill the guy

TheOneTrueRobin: I highly doubt that it is the numbering that has irritated him.

TheOneTrueRobin: I stand corrected. He wishes for a name.

TheBetterCanary: check your dms it should be between the video of the dog wearing booties for the first time and the picture of the pig in a teapot

TheOneTrueRobin: I have located it. That is a very generic name, and likely an alias, but thank you.

BernieDowd: @/TheBetterCanary what do you think about people that think that the Waynes are the bats?

TheBetterCanary: honestly every argument is super flimsy

BernieDowd: what about the bruises on the Wayne men?

TheBetterCanary: have you seen the kinds of women that theyre into

TheBetterCanary: if they arent into some shit id release my actual name to the public

TheBetterCanary: lmao the wayne legal team is trying to sue me for slander

TheBetterCanary: its not slander if its true babes

TheBetterCanary: @/DeadHood always gets credit for being the most committed to the bit because he wears a second mask under his helmet but @/Janus manages to find every set of twins in gotham for every job without fail so really i think hes the most devoted rogue

RiddleMeThis: I’m starting to believe that the only reason @/TheBetterCanary is still alive is that she has so much sheer audacity that no one knows how to react.

ScareCrane: She looked Batman dead in the eye during a lecture and said “And what’re you going to do if I do it again? Kill me? Didn’t think so”... so, yeah, that’s probably it

Yummmmmm: The first time I tried to fight her she asked if I had taken pole dancing lessons in preparation for using my bo

Catwomnyan: She helped me rob a store at gunpoint and then revealed to me that the gun she was using was just a prop because she had forgotten the real one at home

DeadHood: I stopped genuinely trying to catch her when I watched her give a guy sunglasses, say “You’re going to need this!”, and then light his house on fire. I asked what he did to deserve it. Apparently, he “booped her nose”.

PoisonIvy: She chugged an entire glass of poisoned wine and then asked penguin how he managed to get his hands on it because it tasted really good ❤️

Janus: She got called into court for a civil suit. I offered to be her lawyer. She refused because she had apparently been in Mock Trial in high school. She said she had failed the course, and hardly remembered anything, but was prepared to wing it. She managed to win the case.

Batman7: She once provided me with an itemized list as to why she should be allowed to commit murder. Items 1-57 and 59-101 were all “I’m hot”. Item 58 was simply “Joker”.

Penguin: Canary says she’s not a bitch but if someone paid her ten dollars I bet she would bark like a dog

TheBetterCanary: when have i ever said im not a bitch

TheBetterCanary: i want money so im now taking sponsors

Yummmmmm: That’s not going to work, no one wants to sponsor a rogue

TheBetterCanary: youre right

TheBetterCanary: im now taking antisponsors where i promote your competitors so they look bad

Daylightwing: Preeeeeetty sure thats illegal

TheBetterCanary: i will ponder the legality and morality of what i am doing over a refreshing can of doctor pepper

TheBetterCanary: nightwing is the type of guy to make pancakes with the scrambled egg method and then cry when it doesnt work

Daylightwing: Get out of my safehouse

TheBetterCanary: hey @/ScareCrane can i vent to you

ScareCrane: Of course

ScareCrane: The motherfucker came out of the vents

TheBetterCanary: i literally warned you

TheOneTrueRobin: @/TheBetterCanary and @/SignalOfficial, please refrain from calling my mother a “MILF” from now on.

SignalOfficial: We only speak the truth

TheBetterCanary: tell her to stop being a milf if youre so concerned about it

TheOneTrueRobin: Canary is a lot less threatening when she dramatically whips out a contract, only to give herself a papercut and then cry for five whole minutes.

TheBetterCanary: fuck you youre paying extra

TheBetterCanary: i know im the number one nightwing hater and all *Liked by Daylightwing*

TheBetterCanary: but i can respect someone who regularly butchers the english language

Daylightwing: It is very dumb.

TheBetterCanary: the fact that it exists is a hate crime against me personally

SpoilerAlert: not what a hate crime is

TheBetterCanary: oh yeah white girl tell me all about hate crimes id love to hear your take

SpoilerAlert: on second thought you’re good

TheBetterCanary: thats what i fucking thought

SignalOfficial: @/TheBetterCanary What is this shit are you fucking serious oh my god

TheBetterCanary: youre going to have to be more specific than that but im going to go off on a limb here and say probably not

SignalOfficial: Why is there a bird in Scarecrow’s cell

TheBetterCanary: oh that

SignalOfficial: Don’t “oh that” me what the fuck is this

TheBetterCanary: do i really have to spell it out for you

TheBetterCanary: thats not just any type of bird its a crane and it turns out the local zookeepers have a pretty dark sense of humor

SignalOfficial: Fuck

TheOneTrueRobin: @/Batman7 Father…

Batman7: No.

TheOneTrueRobin: Where is your Christmas spirit?

Batman7: You are Muslim. I am Jewish.

TheBetterCanary: aw @/TheOneTrueRobin if you join my side ill let you keep the bird

TheOneTrueRobin: I will consider the offer and get back to you within five to six business days.

Batman7: @/TheOneTrueRobin Fine. You can keep Jonathan the Crane, but he is not allowed in the cave.

TheOneTrueRobin: @/Batman7 I agree to your terms. @/TheBetterCanary I regret to inform you that I must decline your offer.

TheBetterCanary: @/TheOneTrueRobin happy holidays kid dont say i never do anything for you

Batman7: Damn it.

TheBetterCanary: best idea for a prank is to give your enemies a completely normal shirt for christmas and watch them suffer as they try to figure out what you did to it

Penguin: Maybe don’t post your plans on a public platform

TheBetterCanary: that shirt looks great on you

TheBetterCanary: part two of the prank is to say that its fine in front of them so they put it on to spite you and then get chicken pox

TheBetterCanary: sometimes i forget how starved shippers are for content and then i see someone shipping me with robin because i didnt kill him when i could have and im like oh yeah right

GothamGazette: DNA found on a headless body in Park Row confuses scientists!

SpoilerAlert: no head *breaks skateboard*

Batman7: Someone is dead.

TheBetterCanary: it was a skateboard breaking of mourning

France24: Hawkmoth was just found dead in his cell!

TheRealLadybug: @/ChatonNoir told you ed would follow through you owe me a dollar

ChatonNoir: Wild

ChatonNoir: Wait when did he kill him we just saw him yesterday

TheRealLadybug: how about we chalk it up to the power of love hahaha

TheLadyBlog: LADYBUG YOU’RE ALIVE?!

TheRealLadybug: nah it turns out that hell has really good wifi

TheBetterCanary: @/Penguin youre not a girlboss youre a boyemployee

SignalOfficial: @/Staff I am begging you guys to just ban her already

Batman: okay my fellow gothamites were going to have a purge kind of situation in a couple of days to see if it actually reduces crime throughout the rest of the year feel free to commit crimes none of us bats will arrest you i promise

Batman7: Canary. Please stop. I said I was sorry.

Batman: shut up youre probably balding

Yummmmmm: What did he do

Batman: got me banned so now i have to use this account

Yummmmmm: I’ll unban you

Batman: okay but im not taking back the tweets

TheBetterCanary: i hate trying on new clothes the stuff i like never fits

TheBetterCanary: im too short to be a slut

BlackBat: :(

User223584125153: Fatherless behavior

TheBetterCanary: yknow i was gonna give a proper response but then i realized i dont have to

TheBetterCanary: @/Scarecrane @/RiddleMeThis get his ass

Daylightwing: @/Batman7

TheBetterCanary: i resent that but also @/Batman7 beat him uppppp

TheBetterCanary: nightwing fightwing for whats rightwing *Liked by Daylightwing*

Daylightwing: Feel the need to clarify that just because I Liked this doesn’t mean I liked it.

TheBetterCanary: go crywing

TheBetterCanary: i live in constant shame that nothing i ever say will ever be as funny as two face when he called bruce wayne a dumb slut on live tv

TheBetterCanary: it looks like some dumbass has decided to kidnap alfred pennyworth so its time to take bets

RiddleMeThis: Oh! $50 says Pennyworth kills them!

TheBetterCanary: cheap and lame but fine

Yummmmmm: Seven hundred says we’ll get there in time

TheBetterCanary: lmao alright

Catwomnyan: Exactly 180 on Bruce Wayne finally snapping and going on a rampage.

TheBetterCanary: nice nice id pay to see that

Penguin: The Wayne luck is going to kick in and he’s going to get out without even trying

TheBetterCanary: fuck you you arent allowed to play

TheBetterCanary: wait how much are you betting

Penguin: 1k

TheBetterCanary: welcome to the game

DeadHood: 15 cents says I’ll get to them first and put a bullet in their head.

TheBetterCanary: and i thought ed was cheap but whatever good luck with that

TheBetterCanary: huh

TheBetterCanary: it seems that there was a secret other option where the dumbass apparently follows me and decided to let alfred go

ScareCrane: So… who wins then

TheBetterCanary: me pay up bitches

TheBetterCanary: if one more person asks what my body count is i swear they will be added to the number

TheBetterCanary: im bored im gonna start gaslighting people about things they already know now

TheBetterCanary: like what are people gonna do if i say im chinese after all these years i can just pull the racism card if they disagree this plan is foolproof

Daylightwing: But you ARE chinese.

TheBetterCanary: of course i am we all know this

Supes: I don’t see why Batman has such a hard time defeating the Rogues. Most of them don’t even have powers.

TheBetterCanary: yes we do

Supes: You do? What are they?

TheBetterCanary: being annoying

RiddleMeThis: Being annoying.

ScareCrane: Being annoying

Janus: Being annoying.

Joker: BEING ANNOYING

PoisonIvy: Being annoying 💖

Batman7: @/PoisonIvy You literally have powers.

Catwomnyan: Being annoying.

TheBetterCanary: people ask me how im so relaxed around rogues and vigilantes all the time and i just gotta say

TheBetterCanary: first of all bold of you to assume im ever relaxed

TheBetterCanary: second of all all these bitches are like one dropped ice cream away from a mental breakdown i aint scared of them

SpoilerAlert: true 😔

ScareCrane: True…

Yummmmmm: True

Penguin: Hate to agree with Canary, but true

Penguin: What the fuck

Penguin: @/TheBetterCanary did you really just attack me outside an ice cream shop to try and make me drop my ice cream cone

TheBetterCanary: wasnt me but i wish it was that sounds hilarious

Penguin: Bullshit, I saw your face

TheBetterCanary: i dont know what to tell you man maybe youve been thinking about me too much and hallucinated me or something

TheBetterCanary: i already said in the discord server that im stuck inside for the foreseeable future you dumb bitch

DeadHood: Wait a minute… the server is still active? I thought you guys said that you were deleting it because it was compromised…

PoisonIvy: 😬

JuliusDay: there’s a discord server? why am i not on it?

TheBetterCanary: its to make sure we dont get caught up in each others attacks no one is scared of you

JuliusDay: i’d still like to know when your attacks will be…

TheBetterCanary: lol

FiendlyFyre: Why am I not on it?

TheBetterCanary: you were dead until like a week ago let me add you back

MadAsAHatter: And me

TheBetterCanary: no

TheBetterCanary: and for the record @/Tweedlesdeeanddum you arent getting in either no one likes you wonderland bitches

Tweedlesdeeanddum: we didn’t even do anything

TheBetterCanary: fuck you

TheBetterCanary: i fell for the mark oh my god im a cliche fuck

SignalOfficial: TALON????

TheBetterCanary: yeah the bird mask really does something for me

TheBetterCanary: dumbass

TheBetterCanary: my legal team has asked me yet again to tell you guys that nothing i say here is serious and should not be used in a court of law

Yummmmmm: You have a legal team

TheBetterCanary: not really but sometimes ill tweet something incriminating and two face will break into one of my safehouses and yell at the camera

RiddleMeThis: I see we have competition @/Scarecrane.

ScareCrane: … I see… a temporary truce, then

Janus: Please. I don’t want her.

RiddleMeThis: Why not? She’s awesome.

ScareCrane: You’d be lucky to have the right to adopt her

Janus: Somehow I think I’ve made this worse for myself.

Janus: @/TheBetterCanary Help me.

TheBetterCanary: no this is peak entertainment

Yummmmmm: Canary is sick, I will ask her to impart some wisdom upon us

TheBetterCanary: nif e

DeadHood: She has spoken.

Yummmmmm: Sickness update – Canary is currently very loudly complaining about how red hair isn’t really red so I think she’ll live

TheBetterCanary: thought red robin was decent until he told me he thought nightwing and oracle are the best nightwing ship

Yummmmmm: They’re a classic

TheBetterCanary: so was slavery bitch nightwing is way cuter with starfire

Daylightwing: Do I get a say in this?

TheBetterCanary: no fuck off

Yummmmmm: Yeah this ain’t about you

Daylightwing: It literally is?

TheBetterCanary: batman and bruce wayne should date so they can combine their hoards of kids

BernieDowd: bold of you to assume that bruce isn’t already batman’s sugar daddy.

TheBetterCanary: youre so right i am so sorry

TheBetterCanary: that super relatable moment when you have to dismantle a system that has benefited you for years

BlackBat: :(

TheBetterCanary: at least i get to put calendar man to shame on one of his favorite days

BlackBat: :D

Batman7: What are you planning to do and how?

TheBetterCanary: like id tell you youd just stop me

SpoilerAlert: ten bucks says she’s gonna do a murder

SignalOfficial: Man, I just finished my shift, too

TheBetterCanary: Hey guys Im not actually Canary but shes letting me borrow her account to make a fun little announcement anonymously

TheBetterCanary: Ive compiled a list of every Court member in Gotham that @/TheBetterCanary @/107kidsncounting and I knew about along with all of the proof we could gather over a month long period

TheBetterCanary: Here you go shorturl.at/hMW27 enjoy the hitlist everyone

107kidsncounting: im going to kill you i didnt spend hours finding proof for you fuckers just to get fucking rickrolled in fucking 2022

TheBetterCanary: Okay okay sorry mom lmao here’s the actual link shorturl.at/BKOR1

Gothamlite: This feels like a trap. Why would Canary hurt the Court when she benefits from corrupt systems?

TheBetterCanary: well you see the thing is i enjoy this thing called being alive

TheOneTrueRobin: @/TheBetterCanary, @/RiddleMeThis, @/ScareCrane, and their other evil friend are all laughing maniacally. They will not stop. It has been ten minutes.

107kidsncounting: try hitting one of them

TheOneTrueRobin: They’re laughing harder now.

107kidsncounting: yea lol

TheOneTrueRobin: I should have read the username.

107kidsncounting: probably lmao tell the kids i say hi

TheOneTrueRobin: Fine.

TheOneTrueRobin: They told me to tell you “👍”.

TheBetterCanary: hey idiot where are you

TheBetterCanary: I got stabbed lol

TheBetterCanary: oh lol

ScareCrane: This is not a lol matter you two

TheBetterCanary: Lol

TheBetterCanary: lol

TheBetterCanary: also i knew you were still using my account get off you bitch

TheBetterCanary: nothing is more painful when you send your friend a meme and they tell you theyve already seen it

DeadHood: You kicked me in the dick less than five hours ago.

TheBetterCanary: it’s what it’s

Daylightwing: The one time you use proper grammar and its for THIS.

SignalOfficial: You are a menace to society

DeadHood: Sometimes I think about grabbing Canary by the ankles and flipping her upside down to see how many knives fall out of her clothes.

TheBetterCanary: you could just ask

DeadHood: Would you lie?

TheBetterCanary: i mean sure but youd get further away from the knives you want to know about so badly quicker if youre not actively touching me when i get them out

TheBetterCanary: out of gotham for the first time in ages and i hate it it feels weird where is the crime

SpoilerAlert: be the change you want to see in the world

TheBetterCanary: youre so right bestie

TheBetterCanary: alright who snitched to superman

Supes: I thought you were kidding about the cross thing.

TheBetterCanary: i sent a lois lane x superman fic to clark kent as an april fools joke and he was super sweet about it and said i had talent as a writer so mr kent if you see this im sorry

TheBetterCanary: in this thread i will give absolute proof that the bats and the waynes are the same

TheBetterCanary: bruce and batman both have an ungodly amount of kids like bruce even managed to find another kid despite all of the orphanages getting bombed this year thats some devotion

TheBetterCanary: richard and nightwing are both traitors that moved to bludhaven enough said

*Liked by Daylightwing*

TheBetterCanary: barbara gordon is oracle because they both scare me

TheBetterCanary: i will not joke about the death of jason todd his passing was a tragedy that still affects gotham to this day

TheBetterCanary: tason jodd however is totally red hood i mean who else could be that dorito shaped

TheBetterCanary: cassandra and black bat could both beat my ass and i would thank them

TheBetterCanary: timothy and red robin both have a sickly victorian boy vibe to them

TheBetterCanary: stephanie and spoiler both appreciate riddler and i can appreciate that

TheBetterCanary: duke and signal are both the token and the best of all of their families

TheBetterCanary: damian and robin both have way too many fucking pets like they could work together and form a zoo and i dont think anything would even be missing

TheBetterCanary: honorary mention to the butts match of course

TheBetterCanary: fuck i forgot that it was eds turn to cook

TheBetterCanary: @/ScareCrane please bring some mcdonalds home please

RiddleMeThis: When I found you, you regularly went dumpster diving for food.

TheBetterCanary: doesnt mean i dont have standards

RiddleMeThis: @/ScareCrane Remember when @/TheBetterCanary heard someone yell about how “she has a strap!” and complained about how they shouldn’t “have that stuff out in public”, only to turn around and realize it was a gun?

TheBetterCanary: im still not sorry for implying your food is worse than literal trash

Canaryfanclub: please i just want her to date me

TheBetterCanary: sorry i dont know if my boyfriend would like that

Canaryfanclub: YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND??????

TheBetterCanary: unfortunately his swagless charm has captivated me

TheBetterCanary: fuck the stupid fucking bats infected me with their even stupider fucking morals oh my god

DeadHood: Weak. I’ve been resisting for years. It took you, what, a couple of months around them to fall for their morals?

TheBetterCanary: im going to blow up your base

DeadHood: In Minecraft or in real life?

DeadHood: Fuck. It was Minecraft.

DeadHood: I spent hours making that mansion!

TheBetterCanary: trust me i know

TheBetterCanary: @/BrucieWayne i have your kids

BrucieWayne: What do you want for them?

TheBetterCanary: donate half a billion to arkham reforms

BrucieWayne: Oh no. I have no choice but to meet her demands.

TheBetterCanary: vigilantes dont want you to know this but muscles actually dont constantly look like that unless youre constantly flexing and they definitely dont show through layers of kevlar

TheBetterCanary: which means that they choose to have abs on their costumes

TheBetterCanary: i can hear the fangirls crying from here

TheBetterCanary: lol

Yummmmmm: Oh god what did you do

TheBetterCanary: dont worry about it

Batman7: Where is Joker?

TheBetterCanary: he tripped and fell into a pocket dimension and i cant get him out but dont worry i got him one of those gerbil water feeders and some chips so hell live

Batman7: That doesn’t sound like an accident.

TheBetterCanary: never said it was one

~~~~~

(Back to Canary Masterlist)

#canary #maribat #timari #timinette #shutterbug #timmari #marinette dupain cheng #ladybug #tim drake #red robin #someone on discord jokingly said i had no sense of humor #and to prove it i took it seriously #so enjoy a funny social media au ig #its come out earlier than one might have expected #but to be fair i didnt expect this to come out yet either #this is 6969 words #it was an accident #but i love it

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timdrake-yumm · 1 year

Text

I’ve come to realize that there are several different types of Tim Drake fans, that can all be sorted different ways, but I’m going to sort them this way:

Hate/Dislike Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, and Damian Wayne: idk if this is a result of cancel culture or what, but the fact that they’ve all wronged him at least once is apparently the worst thing in the universe, as though not everyone has done something that could be perceived as wronging Tim at some point in comic history. I hate to break it to you guys, but y’all are extremely biased, and Tim isn’t so innocent either

Hate/Dislike Jason Todd and Damian Wayne: This is because they both tried to kill Tim at one point and you haven’t been able to let it go. While this is more valid than the last one, I still think you need to chill with the character hate, they’ve both been through some pretty traumatic stuff and we’re mostly not in their right minds when they did that. I mean, I’m not saying it’s okay that they tried to kill Tim, but they’re also fictional representations of what might occur if you came back to life after having died only to see all your insecurities thrown at your face, or if you were raised by a murder cult.

Hate/Dislike Damian Wayne: Now this group of people likely fall into the mentality that because at one point Tim hero-worshipped Jason, he must not have hard feelings for him, and therefore neither should you. But also you can’t forgive the 10-year-old for acting on his traumatized, raised-by-a-murder cult mentalities, like any 10-year-old has the ability to think outside their biases born from the childhood they were provided.

Love/Like ALL the robins: You either believe that Tim wouldn’t hold hard feelings, so neither should you, or you realize they’re all fictional characters who hold the fatal flaw of having flaws and not being perfect individuals.

I’m not saying that any of this is 100% accurate or anything, and you could probably throw some variations of adding Bruce, Stephanie, or even Alfred into the mix, but these are the thoughts that I had while taking a shower yesterday and have only just now put into typing.

Anywho, basically, there are people who don’t like Dick Grayson because of what happened when Dick gave Damian Robin, and while I see your perspective, and I don’t agree with his actions at the time, Dick was a desperate, young adult who just lost his second father and was thrust into a role and burden he never wanted. Of course he made mistakes, anyone would! I don’t believe he was ever trying to alienate Tim the way it ended up being. (Side note: the wanting to put Tim in Arkham is fanon, and should not be used as a reason for disliking Dick. I believe there was mention of therapy, but that’s it, and while it’s extremely hypocritical of Dick to suggest therapy while not being willing to go himself, it’s not like he was exactly wrong. They all need therapy; even before everyone he loved was dying around him Tim needed therapy. You probably need therapy too.)

For everyone who dislikes Jason Todd, I see your reasoning, I really do. He took his hurt and pain out at being replaced and unavenged out on Tim and likely did some pretty heavy psychological damage whilst doing so. It’s a bit hypocritical of him to be so upset about being replaced when he 1. Doesn’t know the full story and/or 2. Was a “replacement” himself. But you have to remember that none of this is really about Tim. Maybe that makes it worst, maybe that makes it better, but it’s the truth. Jason literally died and came back to life, and the minute he gains complete thought he realizes he’s been in the hands of the League of Assassins, and that his torturer and murderer is still out there causing harm to everyone he can. Was he wrong to take all of this out on Tim? Yes, obviously, Tim was just trying to help and honor Jason’s legacy. Does he deserve a chance to make it up to Tim and be better? Also yes. Batman preaches about second chances, which is part of the reason why he doesn’t kill, but to me that’s like being someone who’s never been a victim of rape or abuse, and telling someone who has been a victim of rape or abuse that they’re wrong for being traumatized and that they should forgive their rapist or abuser and just get over it. That’s not how trauma works, and even if you’re against killing someone yourself, you don’t get to tell a victim how to protect themselves from those who harmed them. Locking him up didn’t and doesn’t work, and all he’s doing is creating more victims without any inclination towards change or remorse.

Sorry, that went into a bit of a rant that nobody asked for. Not that anybody asked for any of this, of course. Anywho, the point of all that was to say that Jason Todd is a victim. I’m not saying that Tim isn’t a victim, and that he shouldn’t also get the same allowances as Jason of course. Tim also went through a very traumatizing experience, he should get to do what makes him feel safe. (Another side note: forgiving someone and putting yourself back into a harmful situation are two different things. You can forgive someone and also want to never have to see them again. That’s valid, and even if that person isn’t actively trying to harm you anymore, their presence in and of itself can still be harmful.)

This all leads into Damian Wayne. I mentioned before that Damian showed up as a traumatized 10-year-old straight out of being raised by a murder-cult. Damian, like Jason, is a victim and deserves the chance to grow and change. Tim is also a victim, and deserves not to constantly be in a state of Danger. So what does this mean? I’ve seen some people mention that Damian is never actually punished for any of his harmful actions. And I’ve seen other people wonder how you plan on punishing the traumatized 10-year-old. I’m not a parent, but I am currently studying psychology, and I believe some of the same stuff applies. You can’t just throw Damian in jail or ground him or something, that’s never going to work, and will only alienate him further— reducing his likelihood of listening and being open to change. Damian needs to be shown that his actions have consequences though (Look at me acting like he’s a real person). You can’t just hear/see him actively trying to harm someone and be like :( bad Damian. That just tells him that he’s never going to be punished for his actions, and can therefore get away with it. You need a balance, and to also recognize that Tim is allowed to be defensive and not want to be in the same room as Damian. You see Damian do something wrong? He’s benched from being Robin, and you explain that this is not what Robin represents and that Robin doesn’t bring harm to innocents. However, when you see him do something good? You reward him. Now you have positive reinforcement showing that certain actions have benefits. Damian is a victim of his past, but he’s also a child emulating what he knows. There’s a difference between not punishing him for being a victim, and teaching him to not create his own victims.

And that has been my unwanted and unasked for rant about the robins. Another side note, but if you create media that depicts any of the robins or Bruce, or any DC character in a negative light, I’m not telling you to stop. I can think that they don’t accurately depict who the characters are suppose to be and still love reading the angst.

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fryingpan1234567 · 1 year

Text

SOMEBODY WROTE A RIORDANVERSE X DC HEADCANON?? IT WAS SHORT SO I’M WRITING MY OWN MY TIME HAS COME

I will never not stand by the fact that Jason Todd and Piper McLean are the bestest of friends

Jay and Leo too

Mechanics? Beauty queens? Yessir

Dick and Piper too

#flawlesshairsquad

Anyways

Can you imagine like half the JL finding out they’re demigods?

”THAT’S WHY SO MANY ‘ALIENS’ HATE ME,” at least six of them exclaim angrily

Diana is very amused

They collided when Mount Olympus relocates… right on top of the Daily Planet

That momentary panic when Annabeth steps out of the elevator after some architect work on Olympus and isn’t even in fucking Manhattan anymore

A very nice man notices her distress and asks her if she’s okay

”Uhh…” Annabeth looked up at him warily. He sort of looked like a god- she wondered if this was some type of test. “I’m… fine.”

”Well hi there, Fine, I’m Clark,” he joked, extending a hand the size of her head to shake

Anyways, Annabeth and Clark were fast friends

CHB didn’t even have to relocate- Gotham and, by extent Metropolis, are literally on the other side of Manhattan. You know who did have to relocate? Percy Jackson

The gods wanted him close by, and unfortunately that meant Percy and the family were moving into a new apartment

It’s, like… fine. It’s definitely nicer, being paid for by the Olympians and magically protected

Still. You know what really sucks?

Gotham fucking Prep.

Percy’s kind of used to terrible, but living in Gotham is a whole other story

Oh but Tim Drake

Tim Drake makes things much better

They met on the first day of school. These two idiots saw someone who looked very similar to them, Tim went ‘who are you?’ and Percy said ‘I’m you but I have a sword’ (he wasn’t joking but Tim doesn’t need to know that yet) and they became besties

(When the seven meet all the Wayne’s, Damian said casually aloud “Zhang, if I bested you in ritual combat, would I acquire your powers?” and poor Frank looked ready to faint in horror)

Anyways we know Diana is a child of Zeus (she and Jason fist bump for that one, but Thalia is the extra jazzed one)

Barry is a son of Hermes- explains why he survived the lightning bolt and it gave him speed

Hal is a son of Athena, which is why the ring chose him. Wisdom. Power. Strength of will.

To the shock of no one, Olly-blond-hair-bright-smile-Prince-Charming-Queen AKA Green Arrow is a son of Apollo

B… is an Apollo kid as well, believe it or not. Sparkly famous playboy also with the darkest streak ever? Dresses up and fights crazy theater kids every night? Yeah

Some of the JL’s partners are too actually- Selina is an Aphrodite kid, Lois is Athena’s, Dinah is also a daughter of Aphrodite

Jason is Ares’

Dick is Aphrodite’s

Tim is Athena’s

Damian is actually Artemis’- she was under a spell at the time and, horrified, transferred the kid to Talia. It’s a long story, tell ya later

Steph is also Athena’s

Cass is Ares’

Babs is Athena’s

Duke is Apollo’s

ALFRED IS ATHENA’S

It’s so funny but so in character that every Wayne is a demigod

Did it surprise literally anyone that Harley is Dionysus’ and Ivy is Demeter’s? No

(You know 90% of Gotham’s rogues are Dionysus’ actually)

Moving away from the who’s what hcs

The seven showed the Batboys CHB, and they were blown away

The littles of the camp were asking how all of them had gone for so long without being attacked by monsters, and Jason and Dick and Tim had to wince and be like “actually,”

There was capture the flag that night, but Jason was sulking because they wouldn’t let him use any type of gun

Dick kicked ass tho

Really all of them but they were split in half- Jason and Tim for red, Dick and Damian for blue

Because the hunters were there as well, they were split in half as well, between Thalia and Reyna

The campers had never had to work with the hunters before. It was weird

And then Greeks v Romans of the seven

Lots of dividing ANYWAYS

The red, Greek, Thalia’s team won, but only barely. Those Romans have good strategy

Now the other bit

Percy and Tim

What happened there? Where do they come in?

See, I was writing the bit just for fun where Percy starts at Gotham Prep

And… I accidentally gave them good chemistry

The issue is that it’s terrible writing and I’m too lazy to redo it so essentially here’s what happened:

On the first day of school, Tim Drake stumbled into his first period class ten minutes late, backpack halfway unzipped, Starbucks in one hand and a Monster in the other, running on approximately 36 minutes of sleep from two days ago.

Percy is right behind him, unsure of where to go. He slipped in right as the door was closing.

They both scan the room for threats, a habit of both of theirs, before turning to the teacher.

”Drake. Boy I’ve never seen before,” she says coldly. They both shift uncomfortably, feeling the eyes of everyone in the room. “Care to explain?”

Percy and Tim exchange a look, and as the hyper-intelligent dumbass heroes they are, they simultaneously come to the same conclusion.

”He’s new,” Tim explained, gesturing with his coffee and taking a swig of Monster from the other side.

”And, uh, he was showing me around,” Percy said nervously, reaching over to save the water bottle that was about to fall out of Tim’s bag.

The teacher regarded them both suspiciously. “Name?” she finally asked.

Percy winced. With his record, she probably already knew him, and… well, so much for first impressions.

”Percy Jackson,” he sighed.

As Mrs. Algebra Teacher was typing things into the attendance sheet, Tim leaned over and whispered, “Cool name. I’m Tim, by the way.” He shifted his drinks over to one side and extended an arm.

Percy grinned, shaking his hand. “We make a pretty good bullshitting team. Honestly impressive.”

”Boys,” the teacher interrupted. “Sit down. Since you’re such good friends already, you’ll enjoy afternoon detention together. Don’t be late again.”

They both suppressed groans, but sat down beside each other, knees brushing.

The rest of the school day went by, and they didn’t have any more classes together. Detention rolls around, and it’s just the two of them, because who the fuck else is getting detention on the first day of school.

They talked and flirted the whole time (mostly without even realizing they were doing that second one) and when their time was up, Tim stumbled in front of Percy on their way out, holding his arms out like he was directing traffic, blocking his exit. “Um,” he said nervously, cheeks slowly descending into the color of strawberries, “so I- I’m bi and I don’t really know how to ask people if they’re straight but if you wanted to get coffee sometime that would be cool or even just as friends is fine too because-“

”Tim.” Percy was shocked into laughing, grabbing the Batboy’s shoulders and shaking him lightly. “Chill. Same here. Coffee sounds great, although I can’t promise I won’t fall asleep on you. Caffeine and ADHD don’t mix well.”

”O-Oh.” Tim was sort of dazed, but also really on Cloud 9. He’d never really asked people out before, and they definitely don’t say yes. “I- that’s. Yeah. What days work for you?”

Percy grabbed his hand and slowly started to drag him down the hallway. His mother was waiting, after all, and he also didn’t really want to spend the night in the detention room (even if it was with Tim). “Hmm. This weekend is fine, but I really am new. You’re gonna have to pick the place.” They stopped just inside the front doors. Sally was idled there in Paul’s Prius, and Tim’s motorcycle was still parked where he left it that morning, the only vehicle left in the lot. Percy grinned, and Tim got lightheaded. “You need my number for that, right?”

”Y-Yeah…” Tim handed over his phone, not even remotely worried about what Percy might find out- secret identities, Wayne Enterprises secrets, mission plans. He could take it all and Tim wouldn’t care in the slightest.

Anyways they had a lovely coffee date and held hands and walked around Gotham for a bit for Tim to show Percy around and it was a fantastic time, might write it sometime

For now, I’m tired, this isn’t edited, I’m out✌️✌️

Good morning night or 4am y’all

@high-priestess-of-daydreams

#dc #riordanverse #dc x riordanverse #Tim Drake #Percy Jackson #headcanon #…I’m not tagging everyone sorry lol

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dairy-farmer · 2 years

Note

TW: suicide attempt

Okay so Tim is going thru some major whump, canon style, and eventually tries to kill himself. Because he feels hated by his family, he’s incredibly stressed, most of the people who liked him died, yada yada yada

He comes super close to dying before one of the bats find him. I’m thinking Bruce, so he can hold him all desperate like he did with dying Jason.

But he manages to pull through with heavy medical attention in the cave. He’s bed-bound, and incredibly fragile when he wakes up.

The weird part though, is how everyone *reacts*. His family, who ignored him on the best of days and actively hated him on the worst, were so spooked by his near-death that even Damian is protective and somewhat affectionate.

Maybe it’s them realizing just how much Tim does for them when he was in a coma. Maybe it’s how small and sad he looks, hooked up to IV’s and covered in bandages.

Maybe it’s the delirious way he half woke-up before, begging for them not to save him, to just let him die, that he couldn’t do it anymore.

Either way, they’re now all so loving and affectionate and it’s creeping Tim out. Even weirder, now of them will talk about bat related stuff with him, just assuring him that it’s being taken care of. Bruce and Jason seem to have bonded, forming a sort of vigil around tim, never leaving him alone.

They have good intentions, but constantly being surrounded by two of his major sources of stress of course just further terrifies Tim.

They’re so....touchy. And they speak to him in this soft voice, like he’s some sort of baby. Hell, Bruce keeps calling him *sweetheart*.

Tim’s suicide attempt really changed the way they all view him, from this sort of hyper-competent imposter without emotions to a fragile, terrified boy hiding his fear behind a sense of duty and loyalty. He’s so sweet, has been so sweet the whole time, they realize, they just didn’t see it.

Bruce keeps apologizing to Tim, which had never done before. Promising that “all of that” will never happen again, that they all love Tim, that he doesn’t need to worry, they’ll take care of him.

When Tim finally broaches the topic of maybe starting to assist on missions again, even if it’s just from the batcomputer, it’s the first time they become *angry* with him since....the incident.

Bruce tells him, in no uncertain terms, that he’s not doing missions or Wayne Enterprises work again.

Tim, of course, crumbles. After all, in his eyes, he’s essentially been fired completely. He’s the ultimate failure. Maybe he even makes another attempt.

The smothering, after that, goes up to 11. Dick is like an overly affectionate koala, often accompanied by Damian, who refuses to let Tim complete simple tasks because he ‘clearly needs someone to protect and care for him’. He doesn’t see the outside of the manor grounds, and it’s a rare, lucky day when dick and Damian take his wheelchair around the gardens on the grounds.

Too much could happen to him out there, Dick worries.

None of them will answer his questions about what they told the press. Tim feels a little sick, all the time.

The family hardly ever really fights, anymore. He sees everyone around the manor, even Jason. It’s a sort of awful proof, to him, that with Tim no longer being a bat, they’re all better off.

Damian gets a massive growth spurt over the summer, and seems to enjoy showing Tim how much they had to alter his robin costume—

“I’m taller than you now, brother!” He’ll chatter excitedly. He never calls him Drake, anymore.

And it’s true— Damians shoulders are now broad enough that they block out anything else when he leans in to hug him, or brush his hair, or spoon-feed him whatever he decided Tim needs to eat.

It comes to the point where Tim isn’t even surprised, when Damian leans forward to kiss him for the first time, with dick smiling, rubbing his shoulders and watching fondly. He just gets warm, sinking feeling in his gut.

I LOVEE THISSS~!!!!!! the one thing i really love about fics like these is the psychological aspects. you have the character who attempted and their delicate state of mind and then you have the very, exposed incredibly vulnerable friends and family and there are so many little details here that hint at much larger issues playing in the background that both we and tim don't know about.

_them not telling tim what they told the media. why not? if it would help him calm down, if it would help him feel more reassured. why don't they tell him what they told the media? maybe because what they told them would make the family look bad. they're keeping tim inside, not even letting him into the backyard and when they do it's very rare. tim's 'family' is concerned about him but what about his friends? why have his friends not once passed by to see him and that makes tim feel sadder and more reliant on the family. with all of this together it makes me think that they told everyone that tim was dead. that way they keep tim out of the hands of others and to themselves.

_'Tim feels a little sick, all the time.' in a dark universe where they're intent on keep tim by their sides, too weak to fight back, and submissive the one thing that makes sense to me is that they're purposefully crippling tim. they see how frightened he is, and how he keeps asking questions and hinting that he wants to go back to being a vigilante and that's a fat NO in all their books. so how do you keep a little bird that wants to keep flying down? clip their wings. this thought is reinforced by what tim says about older damian and how he would feed tim "whatever he decided Tim needs to eat". them slipping tim drugs in his food and drinks to keep him sick. even if he physically gets better they think tim looks better helpless, small, and weak.

_there's an implication that tim nearly died via a fall given his use of a wheelchair and how physically fragile and bedbound he was. (also how tim nearly falling to his death would definitely trigger something in dick and ergo damian since the two of them share a deep familial and emotional bond). tim's body is in for a long recovery if he just barely survives a fall. his 'brokeness' and the increased likelihood that he may not be independent again (which may be guaranteed if they're purposefully keeping him sick) sets up an excellent scenario where damian can develop romantic feelings for tim because tim. is. now. no. longer. a. threat. damian's inability to accept or bond with tim is rooted in his deep fear that tim is valued over him for skill, experience, and talent. but damian is now being told by his father and dick that tim needs them now. that he'd like an injured bird with a broken wing that will never be able to fly again. damian developing feelings because tim is now weaker and smaller than him makes so much sense to me in this scneario!!! it's why he's gentle and touchy with tim in a way he isn't with dick because while he may love dick there's a part of him that can't trust him.

_tim's perception of his family as well as all the horrible things he's experienced in his life likely worsened to a pretty severe depression. although people acknowledge that depression is a mental illness i think people very rarely register the consequences of having a mental illness like depression. it can get just as severe as other "scary" mental illnesses like BPD or schizophrenia which in media are often used as tools to show how 'off their rocker' and 'unstable' a character is. the thing about depression, like many mental illnesses, is that it directly effects how you act because of the way the disease changes how you think. depression makes you behave in a way you wouldn't if you were getting proper treatment. a depressed untreated person who's really struggling may think that suicide is their solution to end the pain, whereas if they were being treated they may also be struggling just as bad but they wouldn't be viewing suicide as a 'logical' solution. it skews how people think pretty severely, what may be logical to them may be utterly unthinkable to others which is why it's something that would really fuck with tim in this situation. he believes his family doesn't care- that's what HE BELIEVES while processing an experience or interactions with a brain that is in many ways lying to him. maybe his family really did truly love him but he wasn't able to see it because he wasn't well. this would explain the severe escalation in their behavior, they were always this obsessive and possessive but when tim almost died on their watch by his own hand it really blossomed into this. they can't trust that tim won't take himself out of their lives. just like how a rogue or a stray bully is a threat to someone's life- tim is a threat to his own life. so them keeping him weak and dependent on them is not only to keep him safe and alive, it's to make sure he can't try again.

-i really LOVE the idea that tim isn't mentally well and neither is anyone in the family if this is how they react. they think that locking tim up, essentially keeping him chained is a very reasonable thing to do (lke it won't backfire severaly on tim's psyche). it's like the blind leading the blind. no one here is making the best choices, and they're all traumatizing each other.

then there's the situation with damian, who views tim is safe, as something that is no longer a threat. and damian does feel an attraction to tim grow as he gets older because it's hard not get attracted to tim he's SO pretty. he's all the things boys his age talk about wanting in a girlfriend. and timothy is so helpless, so small, and quiet and sweet.

he gets this softened edge to him when someone offers him an extra cookie or a surprise sweet. timothy is a delicate thing, something to be monitored and watched like an orchid whose soil and health must be carefully handled lest they wilt and die.

timothy's face and hands are so delicate and light. coupled with his thin wrists and little fingers. damian spends weeks watching the brief flash of pink from timothy's hot mouth as he parts to speak or eat. sometimes when damian wants to spend time with him, he'll lock the breaks on timothy's wheelchair which are located where he can't reach so he can't wheel away. not that timothy could for long if he wanted to. he runs out of breath quickly and his hands tremble with exhaustion.

timothy's fine feet are tucked beneath a blanket so his legs don't get cold. it's not that timothy can't walk. but the fall was just one too many breaks in his bones. timothy can't walk unassisted for long. damian knows he tried back in the beginning. they found him crawling half way down the drive way, cuts and bruises all along his torso and arms.

father was beside himself with worry, furious even. not with timothy, but with them for letting him out of their sights.

since that day damian took to remotely monitoring his timothy's whereabouts if he couldn't be present all day.

timothy used to be so sour and upset, crying or screaming or throwing things at them in the beginning. damian is happy to know how much calmer he's become. his recommendation for the herbal cocktail used in his tea definitly helped mellow timothy out, enough so that he no longer got angry enough to throw things at father or anyone.

now timothy usually spent his days working on small puzzles and boardgames. he'd taken up a few crafts like needlework and knitting.

damian knows he gets into his moods sometimes. some days he'll let damian lick and kiss into his mouth, the next he'll be trembling and crying into grayson's arms who soothes and strokes his hair, telling him it was okay and damian didn't mean to scare or frighten him.

(damian may up the dosages on the days timothy is acting more emotionally erratic than usual, father was the one who gave him the idea. and father trusted him to do it safely now. before timothy's injury father rarely allowed damian to operate unsupervised, but now he was trusted to sedate timothy when he grew too upset.)

damian likes timothy now. much better than he did years ago.

he will never say so, not where grayson, todd, or his father could hear- but sometimes he thinks that timothy trying to take his own life was the best thing he could've done for the family.

#anonymous #asks #answered asks

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