#i have many things in my brain i need to get them OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[grison-in-space]

I'm genuinely sorry, I was really tired and couldn't think of the word that mad pride movements use. I'm new to all of this. I thought you would be more open to it because you've reblogged from radical leftists (anarchists and communists both) within the past couple of weeks and they're all for Veganism afaik. The argument that all brains are different but equal and should be treated the exact same is a primary aspect of mad pride from my understanding, and that speaks to me about animals just having different brains, and that they don't deserve to be exploited and killed for us just because they're different. I'm not spamming people with it, but I was inspired by an ask by a nonvegan and started asking popular bloggers why they weren't vegan to open up conversation and potentially change people's views on animals. If I've made you uncomfortable I'm sorry, though I admit I'm really confused by your standpoint. You do know that the only reason communism hasn't succeeded is because of America? Anyway, sorry again, I'm also autistic and I didn't mean to dismiss your legitimate dietary needs. Can I recommend acti-vegan's posts? While I understand that you can't go vegan, perhaps their blog will at least help you understand our points, they're much more well-written than my asks and they have plenty of legitimate science resources at hand. Thanks for listening, I'll take your advice into account. I'm not trying to not listen, it's just frustrating because so many people say they get it but they don't change, and if they truly got it they would, you know?

Okay, I get that you didn't mean to be offensive, and fuck knows I shouldn't throw stones when it comes to forgetting specific words. (This happens to me fairly frequently; it's a thing.)

The argument that all brains are different but equal and should be treated the exact same is a primary aspect of mad pride from my understanding, and that speaks to me about animals just having different brains, and that they don't deserve to be exploited and killed for us just because they're different.

So yesterday I actually wrote out and then deleted a whole paragraph to the effect of "part of my deep, deep frustration with animal rights activism hooks into my commitment to the phrase 'nothing about us without us,' because I frequently see the same kinds of emotional projection without making the effort to listen to animals on their own terms from animal rights activism groups."

The first thing I need to make clear to you is that this--veganism and animal rights activism (ARA) more generally--is not new to me. I am in my mid-thirties and I have never had a job of any kind that did not revolve around animals in some way, I've spent time in rescue spaces and vets and universities, I'm queer and I have spent most of my life in leftish progressive circles, so it's kind of hard to miss.

Essentially, you are proselytizing to me as if you were a newly baptized evangelical convinced I had never heard of Jesus, because if only I had heard and understood his holy word, I would be converted instantly to his light! It's not any less irritating when the belief system isn't explicitly a religion.

More under the cut, because this one is long.

Disclaimer one: Veganism isn't synonymous with ARA ideology, but it's deeply entangled with it, and ARA ideology drives the movement of veganism as a (theoretically non-religious) ethical decision. And I object very strongly to the framework imposed by ARA activists. When I say I am not vegan, I am saying that I have considered the ethical framework that underpins veganism as an ethics movement and I have deliberately rejected it.

The second piece of context you should know that when I talk about being a behavioral ecologist, I mean that I'm a researcher who works on animals and that my framework is rooted in trying to understand animals in their own natural ecological context, without necessarily comparing them to humans. There's a lot of ways to study animal behavior you might run into, including attempts to understand universal principles of behavior that transcend species (animal cognition) and attempts to understand how to better treat animals in human care (animal welfare). You know Temple Grandin? Temple Grandin is an ethologist (the field that gave rise to behavioral ecology, also focused on animals within their species context) who worked on animal welfare (finding ways to make slaughterhouses less stressful to livestock, among other things).

Third point: my profession also means is that I work directly with animals--in my case, currently mice--and that I do not think research with animal subjects is wrong as long as all efforts are made to ensure maximal welfare and enrichment for the animals involved. This is another major bone of contention politically between my entire field and ARA groups, and you should know that I have also spent my entire professional career under the shadow of, well, people who care strongly enough about those ideas to invade my workspace and potentially seize my animals and "free" them into a world they do not have the tools to survive in.

So there's where I am coming from. Let's get back to what you're saying. Here, I'll quote again in case you have the same crappy short-term memory I do.

The argument that all brains are different but equal and should be treated the exact same is a primary aspect of mad pride from my understanding, and that speaks to me about animals just having different brains, and that they don't deserve to be exploited and killed for us just because they're different.

Point the first: Even within humans, I don't think that all brains should be treated the exact same. Especially in a disability context! After all, what is an accommodation if not an agreement to treat someone differently because they need certain things to access a space? Accommodations by definition fly in the face of this "treating everyone the same" understanding of fairness. I think all (human) brains are equally valuable, and I think all brains are worthy of respect, but I do not think that it's wise or kind of me to assert that everyone should be treated in the same way. For one thing, I teach students. If there's one thing teaching has taught me, it's that a good teacher is constantly assessing and adjusting their instruction to meet students where they're at, identify failures of understanding, and keep the attention of the classroom.

Point the second: animals do have different brains from humans. That does not mean that animals are inferior, but it does mean that they are alien. There's a philosophy paper, Nagel, What Does It Mean to Be a Bat, that you might find illuminating on this front. Essentially, the point of the paper is that animals have their own experiences and sensory umwelts that differ profoundly enough from humans' that we cannot know what it is like to be a different species without experiencing life as one, and therefore we must be terribly careful not to project our own realities onto theirs. That is, our imagination cannot tell us what a bat values and what it experiences. That is why we have to use careful evidence to understand what an animal is thinking, without relying on our ability to identify with and comprehend that animal. I have watched ARA groups deliberately encourage people to shut their reasoning brains off and emotionally identify themselves with animals without considering within-species context for twenty years. This is a mainstream tactic. It is not an isolated event and for that reason alone I would be opposed to them.

Point the third: there is a definite tendency in lots of people to care deeply and intensely about both animals and people who are seen as "lesser" in status--children, poor people, disabled people, etc--just as long as those groups never contradict the good feelings that come from the helper's own assessment of themselves and their actions. In humans, when the "needy" point out that some forms of help are actually harmful, the backlash is often swift and vicious. This is why animals are such an appealing target of support and intervention. They can't speak back and say "in fact, you are projecting my love of this frilly pink tutu onto me, and I think it's uncomfortable and prevents me from walking." They can't say "I kind of like it better when I don't have to worry about getting hit by a car, actually?"

(By the way: this is also why it's offensive to compare disabled people to animals, because this is generally done at least in part to silence the voices of disabled people speaking for our selves and our communities. We have access to language, and we use it, thank you.)

All forms of animal welfare intervention going right back to the founding of the first RSPCA have been incredibly prone to being hijacked by classist, racist, and otherwise bigoted impulses. This is because animals offer an innocent face for defense that conveniently cannot criticize the actions taken by their champions, and they therefore provide a great excuse for actions taken against marginalized members of human society. Think about the very first campaign the RSPCA ever did, which was banning using dogs as draft animals: a use that is not inherently harmful to dogs, which many dogs actively enjoy, but also one that was specifically used by poor Londoners and which in fact immediately resulted in a great butchery of the dogs that Londoners could no longer afford to feed rather than allowing poor people and their dogs to continue working together. No one was, of course, challenging the particular uses of dogs or any other animal favored by the wealthy. This kind of thing is so, so, so common. Obviously it doesn't mean that all interventions to prioritize animal welfare are inherently bigoted, but it does mean that we have to be critical about our choice of challenges.

On top of everything, the animal rights activist movement's obsession with "exploitation" is a function of the idea that humans are sinful or otherwise Bad in how we interact with animals by definition. For example, take the chicken rescue near me that is so obsessed with the possibility that some human somewhere might benefit from an animal in their care that they implant every hen they adopt out with hormonal implants such that the hens no longer lay eggs--a function that is normally a natural byproduct of a chicken's reproductive system, fertilized or not. A mutualistic relationship involves both parties benefiting, and that is the case for an awful lot of human relationships with animals. In general, the idea that associating with animals is a thing that can only harm animals rather than being a trade between two species to enrich one another is all over these groups. It's just so myopically focused on human shame that it prevents practical interventions that might benefit everyone, and often promotes interventions that don't directly benefit animals but sure do make humans miserable. For example, this kind of thinking is why groups like PETA are absolutely awful at effectively rescuing unwanted dogs and cats: they think pets living in "bondage" with humans are an essentially sad outcome, rather than one that might be mutually enjoyed by all parties.

I'm tired and my meds haven't kicked in, so I'm not currently going to handle the communism thing except to point out that while the US absolutely did destabilize a number of leftist regimes in South America and Africa, Russia and China between them have certainly not treated their own people kindly, either (and more so their own client-nations, as with the former members of the USSR). Please do some reading about the Holodomor and Lysenko in Russia (and frankly all of the details of Stalin's regime) and the Cultural Revolution in China in particular. Khmer Rouge might be worth looking into, too. I am not saying the US's hands are clean, you understand, because they are not; they're as steeped in red as anyone else's. What I am saying is that for people living on the ground, communist revolutions have this nasty habit of turning into bloodbaths and arbitrary slaughters. Do not let your distaste for the US's bloodsoaked imperialism (which, yes, is and was bad) let you fall into the trap of becoming a tankie.

And if you don't know what a tankie is, you really, really should take some time to learn.

#animal welfare #just #don't do this #when someone says “no” #please fucking listen #there's another essay in me somewhere on the painfully obvious sublimated dynamics picked up from Christianity all over this movement #but I do actually have work to do today including that ventral pallidum post I have been poking at

[chubsonthemoon]

It is done! This is The Death of Translation, originally written in English by @landwriter, translated into Mandarin by @thirrith. Binding is dos-à-dos, with English version on one side and Mandarin on the other. Bookcloth was handwoven by me, on my rigid heddle loom :3

More under the cut!

Typeset: Fanbinders are Liars

Full stop, this typeset would not have been possible without Eth and all their patience, enthusiasm, and willingness to do even more translating! I reached out to them *checks watch* nearly a year ago in July 2023 (lololol), asking if I could use their translation of TDOT in a surprise bind I wanted to send along with Gloam's author copy of Flower King. They were kind enough to say yes, and even kinder to answer my questions when I reached out six months later in January, when I was finally able to start work on the typeset.

We talked about the many delicious things that are bound to come up when discussing translating not just from English to Mandarin, but also from digital space to meatspace. Some topics I had anticipated, like font questions, translating the colophon, etc. But even with the topics I thought I'd prepared for, there were still things that came up that both surprised and delighted: for example, while AO3's website allows for italics in Mandarin--

--my publishing program doesn't (or at least, it doesn't without needing to manually tilt every character by about 10 degrees). So as a workaround, Eth suggested changing these cases of italics to the font 华文楷体:

Through no one's fault but my own, this ended up being only slightly less work than manually tilting every instance of italics--I wanted to be sure that I got all of them, so I ended up doing a lot of double-checking manually anyway, instead of relying solely on the Search function. There was a lot of cross-referencing with the Word document that Eth was kind enough to provide, as well as squinting and general swearing. I also did the same for the uses of Latin script, manually styling each instance as Garamond to keep it consistent with the English edition:

The only other time I've had to do font surgery this intensive is probably for my typeset for Tell Me About the Big Bang, which I had to port over from a PDF. Folks, hell on earth. Do not recommend XD I remember squinting at my monitor as I had to visually confirm every instance of italics, thinking I will never do this again. Welp, four years later, here were are: fanbinders are liars, LMAO. At the very least, using Eth's Word document at least allowed me to search by styles, so it was a little easier on my eyes. 🙏

Is there a script that I might've been able to use if I was more code-savvy? Probably. But I figured going at it sledgehammer style would be the least hair-pulling way to get the job done, weirdly enough. Still, despite my best efforts, there are a few instances of PMingLiU to Garamond and PMingLiU to 华文楷体 that I know I missed, and I know I missed them because I caught them after I'd printed/cut/folded/sewn/glued (cue more swearing), so Gloam and Eth, my apologies >.< please consider them artifacts of a uniquely handmade object ajslkdjfs

In addition to the fonts, there were also some other fun things Eth and I discussed, like how to translate the notes I usually provide on the colophons! In addition to information on fonts, I also usually include some variation of:

This private, limited edition published by chubsthehamster (Moonham Press, imprint of Renegade Publishing) in 2024. This is chubsthehamster's personal copy. Out of three existing copies, this is the first.

The thing that came up with this, which still tickles my brain to this day, was how Eth chose how to translate "Moonham Press, imprint of Renegade Publishing." To get a better sense of what word to use for "imprint," they asked what the relationship was between Moonham Press and Renegade Publishing, which got me thinking about the relationship between my lil imprint and the wonderful @renegadeguild:

What's all very funny about all of this is that we are now, in fact, going by the name "Renegade Bookbinding Guild," per our most recently updated Code of Conduct. While this renders the wording I asked for out of date (and thus, the wording that made it into the book out of date :'D), I think it's also a testament to how cool the work @renegadeguild is doing--like any artform, fanbinding is alive, with its own evolving language, communities, and ideas about the craft. And I love it, I love it so much. (Was this also a plug for our new-ish website? Perhaps).

There's more I could say here, but this post is already going to be long enough, so I'll move on for now! If you get anything from this section, it's that @thirrith is amazing and very patient and kind, and I'm so grateful that we got to talk shop together. Thank you so much for all your invaluable help with this, Eth! I hope the typeset, though undoubtedly flawed, does your hard work justice!

Binding: Or, SO Much Math. Like, So Much, Guys. (It was worth it, though!)

Whoo, boy! So math was never my strong suit in school, but when I set out to do this bind last year, that wasn't an issue. At first. The dos-à-dos binding, if anything, just requires a little bit of finagling on the usual case-bound format--a bit more math if you want to do an all-cloth cover, like I planned on doing, but nothing I couldn't work out with some trial and error. (My prototype below!)

Then came February, when I took a weaving class with my friend, and then everything kinda exploded.

My original idea was to use some green Duo bookcloth I had on hand (this color, actually)--for those of you not initiated into the Duo cult, Duo is a Rayon bookcloth with a very devoted fan following in Renegade. It's very pretty; the Rayon weave is one color, and the paper backing is usually complementary color, so it has this cool two-toned effect. Duo is in high demand in Renegade circles because sadly, the company that manufactures it went out of business last year. (Although I've heard rumors recently that there's another company making something similar, but the cloth has a really high purchase requirement and is, like, for businesses only I think).

Anyway, I also wanted to have a gold line around the whole book as a kind of bellyband/obi to further connect the two versions of the story (another reason why I chose the dos-à-dos format to begin with heh), as you can see from my scribbled notes here--

But alas! I knew going in that adhering things to Duo is often Problematic, thanks to one very painful experience trying to get some iron-on foil on another bind (the textured surface of Duo just makes it kinda hard to stick or paint stuff on it). So if I wanted a clean, continuous line, the remaining options were to either paint it on a strip of paper that I'd somehow...adhere to the cloth? Or maybe cut different slices of bookcloth and glue them on. I wasn't satisfied with either of those options, though.

Then--the weaving class. I made a scarf, and I love it and I loved making it. But the whole time, I'll not lie, my thoughts were elsewhere.

In short, my decision to weave my own bookcloth kinda came from a few different factors:

The desire to attempt to recreate Duo, that elusive beauty, the one that got away, etc. (I have several yards in my stash, but still). Others have also attempted to recreate it, and I thought I'd throw my hat in the ring.

My current spiral into the deep hole that is fiber arts (it started with crochet, then knitting, then sewing, then weaving, then spinning, and now I'm eyeing quilting! Please help me).

The gold line. It kept bugging me. And when I found weaving, I just thought there was something very neat about the process of actually making the cloth for a dos-à-dos binding from scratch, and especially for this binding. I wanted to bind a story about translation (or rather, the death of it, and yet still the necessity of it--how we must try to communicate, despite of, or perhaps precisely because of, everything that gets lost in the spaces between people, and the tragedy of that loss, and the beauty of what makes it through, and the love always present in the effort regardless), and also, the translation of that story. Weaving is a very meditative process, and with every pass of the shuttle, back and forth, building slowly but surely the fabric that would hold the story that Gloam had written and that Eth had translated, I thought a lot about translation, and the gaps between people, and how we choose our words not just when translating, but when we speak at all. From a design perspective, I used the same colors I would've used had I chosen the Duo bookcloth--green and gold--so the design wasn't too altered in terms of color scheme. But I think the choice to weave the bookcloth--the thing that bound it all together--made the project take on a completely new meaning for me, both in process and in scope, one that hadn't been there when I started. I saw the warp, perhaps, as the original story, laying the groundwork for the weft, the translation; or maybe it was the other way around, with the translation providing the scaffolding for its own, new meaning, choices that Eth had to make with this word or phrase or another building something new, something translated, and the original a live, moving thing that wove over and under each word turned phrase turned story; or maybe it was both. Maybe it didn't matter which was which, in the end. And as I wove, the thing that connected them, that gold line that had started all of this, slowly formed.

All that to say: Good God, was there a lot of math. So much math. That prototype pictured above was actually made specifically so I could calculate exactly how much I needed to weave, lol, because while I certainly had enough thread, I didn't want to have to warp more than once. I'd learned the basics in my class, but the training wheels came off here. I wanted to make my own custom fabric, which meant calculating things like ends per inch, picks per inch, loom waste, shrinkage after washing, the width of that damn gold line, how much I'd need for the hinge, the turn-ins, the boards--the whole nine yards (I didn't actually weave nine yards tho heh). It was all absolutely worth it in the end--so challenging and so, so rewarding!

(And my final reason for weaving the bookcloth? Not gonna lie, It was because I just wanted to see if I could do it LOL. I love trying at least one new thing with each of my binds, and this was it for this project. While I've been bookbinding for a few years now, I'm still very much a beginner weaver, and I'm so excited to continue to learn and experiment! Also, here's a video of me unwinding the cloth from the loom, heh. I used 10/2 Perle cotton in gold and green colors :3)

Also, turns out, you can back handmade cloth the same way you can any other cloth! I backed it using my usual heat-n-bond method, and with some Unryu Tissue in the color Forest. Since the cloth itself is a bit transparent, there are a bunch of really fun fibers you can see when it's held up to the light, but which aren't visible when the cloth is glued down to the boards. Still, knowing they're there still makes me happy :D

Finally, capping all this off, is one final, small detail I really liked: ginkgo leaf endpapers :3 this one's for me and Eth and Gloam specifically <3

Aaaand that's all from me for today, folks! Thus ends (several months late XD) my last Binderary project for the year. This was probably my most ambitious bind to date, and gosh it was so, so much fun.

And, of course, thank you so much to Gloam for sharing your story, and Eth for translating it. I can't wait for y'all to receive your copies soon!

All my love! <3

#the sandman #The Death of Translation #bookbinding #fanbinding #binderary 2024 #<<<lol #landwriter #Ethiseth #also IF YOU SAW THIS POST BEFORE I FINISHED WRITING IT. NO U DIDN'T AJLKSDJFS #weaving #rigid heddle weaving

[circuitcircus]

Unfortunately I really think early kabumisu fanartists really did mithrun the biggest disservice by defaulting to drawing kabru doing things like brushing his hair/teeth for him and dressing him and stuff instead of focusing on their dynamic and doing something with that instead (this sounds judgmental but I don't actually have a problem with that stuff..,I think it's cute)

Kabru never even does that in canon but now so many people misunderstand them to the point where they think mithrun needs someone to lift his hands up for him and insist him just being around kabru would be "a burden on him"…. wow…..yikes. I've already talked about the ableism in this ideology but ya

Someone who doesn't like the pairing claimed "the main appeal of them is the caretaker aspect" but that's not really it for me? I can see how it's just easy to come up with for fanart especially if the idea comes from someone else's stuff though

While I do think the moments in the comic where kabru makes food and helps mithrun are cute as fuck, kabru doesn't do all that and too many fans forget that mithrun does so much on his own and is a fighter and strategist, and is also really funny? He kills it with the deadpan humor like that dullahan comic??? Gut busting

It doesn't even have to be a ship for their dynamic to be interesting honestly like there are so many things to play around with from their canon dynamic and interactions like the raceswaps (changelings), the tragic difference in the way their races age, how they influenced each other while they were together, how mithrun is the one who gives kabru information about the dungeon that he'd ALWAYS been wanting, etc. and, yeah, helping each other out :\ Also the detail of how similar they were to each other before mithrun met the demon, and how being with mithrun made kabru more honest because mithrun is so candid and nonjudgemental that kabru doesn't feel the need to mask around him…I could keep going!

There's nothing wrong with needing a caretaker, but that's not even the best thing about their relationship and it's way over exaggerated, too. Mithrun did just as much for kabru as kabru did for him in those 6 days and no one remembers that whyy 😱😭

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #kabru #mithrun #I always end up writing too much about this stuff #I do think those who have a problem with the caretaker thing to make it such a big deal as to say mithrun doesn't deserve love....? #that's something THEY need to work on don't get it twisted #I am aware most of the hatred comes from ship discourse which is insanity #but I have a lot on my brain that keeps leaking out I guess #I already have ideas for them I hope to draw or fanfic soon #it is harder to write for them with their current races but it becomes more fun somehow when I switch and play with them #but that's just me #if you draw kabru doing things like cutting mithrun's hair that is good and cute but I think we have to try damage control now 😭 #the hair cutting thing would be rly cute tho #imagine mithrun getting into that and he gives kabru the best fade I'm kidding but lol #Kui did not do such an amazing job writing mithrun for us to slanderize him like this #and worst of all l've seen people express how the shitty way mithrun is talked about by fans affects them personally too #smh bro #like really? you're gonna choose the character so many people with actual trauma and disabilities to make fun of so maliciously #when he should be adored the same way as Levi who literally did way more hateable stuff than mithrun be so fr 💀 #and Miguel from atsv tbh #crazy stuff hereee

[nan0ka]

𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐇♡𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐄⁰⁴

summary. a little accident happend while you were trying to find your motivation.

content. highschool au, fluff, slowburn, childhood friends to lovers, umemiya may seem ooc, little angst.

wordcount. ~3.04k.

❨📁❩ ← previous. ❨🗂️❩ → masterlist. ❨📁❩ → next.

　“AND, how is your love life doing, [name]-san?”

Curious round, amber eyes went to you as you sat there on your standard seat while you were occupied with scrolling through the gallery of your camera. It's really full of childhood pictures of the white-haired guy. And he looked young. Really, really, really young. You don't even remember taking so many photos. He didn't even notice once the camera that was pointed into his direction..

"Repeat what you said." you demanded, not really focused at your dear friend.

"What are you even looking at?" she sighed with a light chuckle, leaning forward to get closer to you. "How's your love life going?"

Out of nowhere, you choked on your own spit and began to cough violently while pounding against your chest gently to help yourself. Kotoha got startled by your sudden cough and immediately brang you a cup of water that you gulped down in just matter of seconds. You shut your eyes, before breathing out. Relief, that you hadn't died yet, washed all over your body as you slammed the empty cup on the counter.

"I don't have one." you knitted your eyebrows in confusion slightly. "You're quickly climbing up the »I dislike« ranking."

"And you still visit me after school." she rolled her eyes amused and looked at your highschool uniform. "Actually. [name], I thought you had better taste. Why him? I'm a bit disappointed."

"You're what?" you narrowed your eyes.

"But at least I can approve of him." she smiled. "Just because I know how he ticks and everything."

"We're talking about uh Umemiya Hajime, right? Your brother?" you tilted your head to the side confused.

"Yeah. Don't you even notice how he looks at you?"

"How does he look at me?" you asked blankly.

She frowned a bit at your question. Have you really never noticed the way he looked at you? Were you pretending? Or are you just dense? A sigh left her lips as she shook her head disappointed. You both would never get together if you don't even take any hints. And neither of you makes the first move which frustrated her to the death. Both of you are hopeless. But it's fine, it's still only the start of the beginnig.

"Like a total love-sick fool." she rolled her eyes with a light smile. "But it looks like he never wants to look away. The way every woman wants to be looked at."

At that, your eyes widened slightly before furrowing your eyebrows and shaking your head in doubt. "I'll never put trust in your statement until I hear it myself." you sighed and added, "Aside from that, I'm very close to leaving.". A groan full of disbelief was heard by your ears as you glanced at pretty friend whose head lowered in annoyance. God, how slow-witted does your brain work?

"If I tell Umemiya the exact same thing, he would jump in joyfulness and ask me if it was true. He would believe me in no time, no hesitation needed." she muttered. "And now, you would've already left if you wanted to."

"Don't test me." you said flippantly before standing up from your stool. "I still intend to find my inspiration to draw. Bye."

Kotoha sweatdropped and watched you as you stepped out of the dine-in Restaurant Pothos with the camera in your hands. "You sure you aren't leaving, because of me?" she let out a chuckle, turning back to her work behind the counter while hearing the little bell ring. The only thought lingering in her mind was little you and him, coming through the door hand-in-hand with dirt on your clothes, cuts and tiny bruises on your body.

The very first time she saw him cry.

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

"Why am I like this?" an exasperated sigh left your lips as you stopped the leaves from blocking your view by removing them out of your face, dropping your camera and letting it hang over your neck. You walked further into the quiet forest while looking around. It's hard to find something in your rather special taste. "And how long has it been that I visited this place, damn."

The rays of sunlight shone through the gaps in the leaves, hitting the floor. The only sound you can hear were the chirping of birds. The sense of direction left you hours ago. How long have you been walking around? You're sure you were at the exact same spot just minutes ago. It feels like you're walking in a loop. Your eyes widened as you stopped in your tracks while your gaze laid on a white bunny.

"Not everyday to see one." you muttered and took out your camera. You knelt down, making yourself comfortable on the grass while watching down. If you slip, then you'd surely roll down this little hill and end up with some injuries. "I should hurry. So don't move bunny." you plead and stared though the lense of the camera. It was quiet. The only thing you can hear is your own breath.

You turned off the flash, zoomed-in on the animal next to the little river and let the camera fully concentrate. As soon as it focused, you clicked down the shutter button which released a certain sound. "Perfect." you whispered and switched to the gallery, letting the bunny hop away. "Surrounding looks pretty nice, the vibe, ... And the main idea." with that, you stood up quickly and—

You violently rolled down the small hill and heard how a branch tore your shorts. Finally you fell into the dirty river, splashing the environment and wetting your clothes. Slowly but surely, you helped yourself up, your wet hair formed at the tip of the strands little drops of water. "..." you silently stared down before crawling to a tree, leaning against it. "Today isn't my day."

Groaning, you reached for your phone in your pocket. "It's wet." you noticed and blankly looked at your phone. "And it doesn't work anymore. This is going to be expensive." you want to break down in tears and cry. You want to cry hard. You looked up and saw your camera hanging on the same branch which tore your clothes. Life is not going well. Why? Life is so hard. Why. You're having a crisis.

And the numb feeling in your leg doesn't help. You're cold. And wet. You don't have a working phone. Your voice feels hoarse. And you're simply tired. Tired that you can't help yourself or atleast get yourself help. To make it worse, you can feel the burning sensation in your eye as a tear slides down your cheek. This is the worst day of the year. You're pretty sure of it. You want to go home and sleep.

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

　"I'm back, Kotoha!" an overly happy Umemiya came through the door.

He sat down on the stool infront of the counter, took his phone out and showed her a lot of pictures. "I secretly planted strawberry seeds the other day because [name]-chan loves them!" he told her excited. "Look! They're growing so fast! I can't wait to pick these babies! You think they'll be as sweet as [name]-chan? No wait— Only you can beat her in cuteness with a little effort, Kotoha!"

The burgundy-haired female sighed and looked at the pictures. "They look nice, Ume. But I'm actually closing in in a few minutes." her eyes went outside as she saw the beautiful nightsky. "How about you visit [name]-san? I'm sure she's waiting for you somewhere." Kotoha's gaze landed back to her her non-blood related brother. "Please just leave me alone for the day. I'm a bit tired."

"Oh." he sulked as he listened to her complain, but his moods lit up at the mention of your name. "Yeah! I'll give her a call. I haven't seen her today, I'm dying to see her!"

With that being said, he called you immediately and waited for you to pick up. Kotoha watched him quietly as he waited impatiently. "...The number you have dialed is unavailable—" he frowned and glanced at his phone before dialing your number again while waiting again. "...The number you have—" Umemiya stands up and blinked at his phone. "Kotoha, what should I do?"

"Maybe she didn't hear it." Kotoha shrugged her shoulders while sighing at her panicked brother. "Or she got tired  and is sleeping right now. But she was here today noon and left to find her motivation to draw. I'm sure she already found it and is painting at home. It's already night, you know?"

"...You're right."

Kotoha dried her hands with a towel and still watched Umemiya who doesn't look relieved at all. "How about you check up on her? You worrywart." she smiles slightly and placed a bag on the counter. "It's Omurice, your favorite. A little bit cold. I knew you were coming, but I packed it up because it got a little dark. Now go and check up on [name]-san, yeah?" she suggested.

"Thanks." now hea was less tense.

"Take care, yeah?"

"You should also take care. Sorry that I can't walk home with you and leaving you alone."

"Nah, it's fine. You would regret leaving [name] alone."

"Come on! Let's play!"

Hurried steps and a loud voice rang in your eardrums as your gaze went up from the flower painting you drew to the annoying white-haired kid. The excitment was vivid on his face as he ran towards you with the biggest grin. You sighed out irritated and went back to your drawing, not interested in his schemes shenanigans as you shook your head. You weren't pretty fond of the idea in making friends.

"I'll show you my favorite game today, hide and seek!" he fell to his knees and crawled closer to you. "It makes a lot of fun, promise!"

And he didn't even let you react as he pulled you up to your own feet, letting your things fall to the side while guiding you to the forest in the near. "It's my first time playing in the forest, because they don't allow me to. So shhh. Don't tell anyone, yeah?" he said, then looked back at you with a grin while also stopping next a big tree. "You know the game? Is it your first time? Should I explain—"

"No thanks." you knitted your eyebrows. "I already know the game. Are you always like that?"

"Nuh uh! I'm the responsible older brother in my family. But when I'm with you, I'm free from anything, you know?" he grins. "By the way, you're seeker!"

He runs off. "This little shit." you grumbled and sighed before turning your back to the forest. "You sure are silly, silly-milly. And you're a lot to take care of. I could never be like you and waste my time with stupid games." you complained, even though no one was listening. Maybe you just going crazy in his presence. "But you're pretty lucky that I don't want to take blame for your disappearance. One, two, three—"

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

　You walked past many trees as you followed the sobs. And with a little luck, you finally found the lost kid after hours. "Man, you have some luck, don't you." you sighed and went up to him while he was crying on the spot. "Next time you should listen to the others. Didn't they say you shouldn't play in the forest?" you scolded the crying child and leaning down to his height for a short time.

"Let's go."

He felt a tiny warm hand placed on top of his head, ruffling it a bit. The sobs and crying got quieter as he removed his hands from his face. The first thing he saw was your hand. "[name], I thought... you w-wouldn't come anymore!" he cried harder. You sighed annoyed. You wished you had the skill to comfort crying kids which you unfortunately don't own. "I-I thought I would n-never see my family again!"

"Well, I'm here now." you took the matter in your hands as you grabbed his hands and pulled him up. "If you don't shut up, you'll never see light again. Let's go home, stupid."

Never in his life did he shut his mouth that fast. The sound of crying disappeared in no time. He only saw your back and your interwined hands. You're right. Next time he should listen to the elders. He's such a problem child. How is he going to take the responsibility for his younger siblings if he can't even take care of himself? He stared at your back with a sullen face. He's a bit tired and dirty. But he's glad you also are.

You opened your eyes slowly at the sound of heavy pants as you blinked. "[name]?" you noticed, it's dark already. How long have you been sleeping? You wanted to look up, but suddenly you're pulled into a hug. You can smell his familiar scent. The scent you love. "I'm glad I found you. I'm glad I found you. I'm glad I found you. I'm glad I found you—" those whispers were repeated.

For a moment, you could only stare. The moonlight is illuminating him. He's stunning, heavenly even. His white hair is shining under the smile of the moon. His ocean blue eyes are sparkling with a hint of hope. His pale skin is glowing like the sun. The aura around him is so gentle, it would anyone approach him out of curiosity. The people who walk past him would take a second glance even. He's majestic.

"Do you know how glad I am?"

"That you found me?"

"Yes."

"...Very?"

"And you know how worried I was?"

"To death?.."

"Glad you know." he pulled away from you before taking his furin jacket off and helped you put it on. "Let's go home."

The burning sensation returned in your eyes again as you watched him. Oh he doesn't know how glad you are right now. You closed your eyes with a slight smile, letting tears slide down your cheeks. Are those happy tears or sad tears? You're not sure. "Hajime..." you're cold. But not as cold as before, because were drier than before. You even got his jacket. You're crying after such a long time. "Hajime."

"What is it?" he answered in a quiet and soft voice. You can see his chest is heaving up and down. Oh. He's tired too after searching probably the whole town.

"Carry me... Please." you requested.

"I would've even without you asking." he began to smile a bit and then turned around.

You're selfish. But you couldn't care less right now. You wrapped your arms around his neck, careful not to suffocate him in anyway as his hands wandered under your knees, careful not to touch you anywhere inappropriate. He made sure he secured you on his back before slowly standing up. The silent was nice. Really nice. You're so tired. But so is he. And he still is carrying you.

"I'm sorry for being a burden." you apologized and buried your face in his shoulder. "I promise to do better next time and not get lost."

"It's fine." he said softly. "I promise to find you anywhere. So don't worry about getting lost."

"We're back."

Both of you entered the orphanage he lives in hand in hand, standing infront of the door. You heard hurried steps coming towards you as you looked forward while he was facing the floor. You two really looked like you were at your end. Dirt all over your torn up clothes, messy hair all over the place, cuts and tiny bruises all over your bodies. How rough was this day? Enough to let someone die.

But it's fine, he thinks. He looked at your interwined hands, as he blocked out the worry of the others and the scolding of mr. Yuki Shitara. It's fine.

"Remember my favorite game?"

"Of course." you answered quietly. "Hide and seek."

"I'm happy you remember."

"You always hid in this forest, but actually you got lost. You always hid in the places no one could find you."

The adult rushed into the house with a panicked face. "Umemiya is missing again!" you looked over to the worried adults before sighing and sitting up. And you really thought you could relax in this orphanage instead of staying at home. But he always makes it impossible for you.

"And then I would always find you at night while you were crying again. I would've carried you home, but I couldn't. So I just held your hand."

A sigh left your lips as you set a foot in the orphanage. Not a second passes and you both were crowded by his little siblings. You stared at mr. Yuki Shitara again who sweatdropped before thanking you with the warmest smile. "We're back." you said. This wasn't the first time, you've said it.

"Mr. Yuki always scolded you for doing it over and over again. And then praised me over and over again for finding you."

"Only because I had the feeling that you would find me." he smiles. "Now it's the other way around. You derserve a break, don't you?"

You want to cry at his gentleness. You savour every moment with him. Right. You already do. His back is giving you comfort and warmth. You could fall asleep any time while balling your eyes out. And he would simply listen this time, letting you use his shoulder to cry on and then telling you everything is fine. When you think it's your fault, he would make sure it's his.

Because he would never let you think you're wrong or you're at fault. It doesn't matter what it's about. You don't deserve to feel like a burden. And he'll make sure you know that.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No, I could never be mad at you. I'm mad at myself for leaving you alone."

It's fine, you think. You looked at him from behind before wrapping your arms around his neck a little tighter. It's fine.

- NAN0KA [ june 10th, 2024 ]

#hajime umemiya #hajime umemiya x reader #manga #anime #umemiya hajime #umemiya hajime x reader #wind breaker #wind breaker x reader

[halfthebrain]

Marvey d/s headcanons?

Finally the important questions are asked.

Early seasons dynamic is definitely Dom!Harvey and sub!mike but, generally said, I think in later seasons there’s potential for them to switch. Let Mike build back some calm and confidence after prison.

My favourite hc is that they try so hard to stay professional but can’t. Harvey can’t stop himself from bossing Mike around. Be it work matters or personal ones. And Mike can’t stop himself from trying to live up to Harvey’s demands but also asking without words for his care. In a way that is literally canon writing but the hc starts with interpreting their relationship in a more intimate and sexual relationship. The way they effortlessly fall into their power dynamic is crazy and is easily extended into a Dom/sub relationship that is consensual.

Mike clearly enjoys a leading and caring hand. Gets instantly quiet and overwhelmed when Harvey praises him and that’s saying something for a guy that has a brain which runs a million miles an hour. That is to say, he loves genuine praise from the man he loves.

When they do start their unconventional relationship they really don’t separate work and “life”. There’s no normal work life balance for them anyway so they take little moments to affirm their dynamic and relationship. Things like Harvey squeezing Mike’s shoulder or the nape of his neck briefly but possessively during working hours. Mike making an effort to tease or to banter with Harvey because he’s a brat but at the same time going beyond measure to please Harvey.

I know what comes to mind first for a lot of ppl when they hear “Dom/sub relationship” are whips and chains but that’s a bit shortsighted. While it is part of the BDSM culture a dynamic like that doesn’t always have to involve extreme kinks or fetishes constantly. I don’t think they’d have to time to do only that so in a way they have a 24/7 Dom/sub relationship.

I also think that Harvey doesn’t actually push Mike to fall into subspace a lot (again, they’re busy lawyers). It would be easy for him to do it (case in point when Mike literally goes non-verbal and wide eyed) which is exactly why he doesn’t demand it. Doesn’t need to at all. I like the headcanon that while Harvey is the Dom he reacts more towards Mike’s cues than one would assume. It’s actually Mike that usually initiates a scene or a moment.

For example, when his grandmother passed away I’d like to imagine that instead of sleeping with Tess he’d have chosen to lean onto Harvey. In my mind that was the moment when they could’ve really started their Dom/sub relationship and not just a dynamic at work. Harvey has almost always known instinctively how to rein Mike in but also how to encourage him. Save his ass so many times right up until Mike went to prison to save Harvey and his found family.

When they finally do have a break long enough to act out a longer scene they take their time. Mike canonically likes to put things in his mouth so usually Harvey starts with putting Mike on his knees, ease him into it. He puts his half hard cock into Mike’s wide open mouth, lets him suck and lick until he can tell Mike’s mind has gone cotton quiet, all the boy’s focus on the man standing above him. That’s sort of their routine, from there they can work out the rest of the scene.

And there’s more but I’ll end it with one last head-canon that y’all can try to pry from my cold, dead fingers.

Harvey slowly but surely starts to buy Mike better quality ties and suits. But it’s really the ties that matter, in time Harvey has replaced all of Mike’s old polyester ties with soft silk and one day Mike realises that Harvey has collared him. He doesn’t mind at all.

#marvey #Dom!Harvey #sub!mike #Dom/sub dynamics #answered asks

[thelyingjoke]

having loadssssss of gonta and kokichi thoughts now...obsessed with them The Besties Ever.........

it gets me because their friendship is both about trusting Each Other. and trusting Themselves. like. in those summer camp interactions. it’s gonta repeatedly putting his trust into kokichi. because that’s his Friend. everybody else says that he shouldn’t. kokichi says that he shouldn’t. but gonta trusts him anyway. not because kokichi is tricking him. but because he’s using his own judgment. instead of following what others say about kokichi and what kokichi says about himself he instead looks at him from his own point of view…and comes to his own conclusion to trust him. and i think that is So Sweet. gonta’s a Lot more intelligent than he gives himself credit for!!! his own conclusion—that kokichi ends up always doing something to make people laugh—is accurate!! he can read him well! that’s where the trusting Himself part comes in. because he’s so convinced that he isn’t smart. that other people inherently know better than him. and yet, even when everyone tells him kokichi’s just trouble—he makes his own decision. he has faith in himself to put faith in kokichi. he is confident in this, which i think is so very important for him

they both kinda see something in each other that the others don’t!!! gonta seeing into kokichi’s better intentions where other people wouldn’t, trusting him despite everyone’s insistence that he isn’t trustworthy, including from kokichi himself. kokichi realizing gonta’s intelligence in a way that others don’t, despite others’ and gonta’s own dismissiveness towards that.

like…aughhhh i have so many thoughts but they aren’t entirely coming out into words correctly. kokichi doesn’t think he deserves a friend like gonta, if the utdp graduation event didn’t make that clear. he almost can’t believe someone could like him as genuinely as gonta does, to the point of accusing gonta of lying about being sad to see kokichi gone. and then in summer camp he keeps saying how gonta trusting him worries him. for kokichi it’s about learning to have faith in someone else to know when they want to hold faith in him. about having faith in himself to trust someone else. If that makes sense.

and then in the main game. It’s So Painful. because everything falls apart for them when they don’t have that. gonta had known what the motive video plan was and had agreed to it. but kokichi’s paranoia got the best of him, which led to gonta’s lack of belief in himself getting the best of him, and they didn’t work together again until chapter 4 at which point both of these issues had gotten Worse.

because the whole thing started with gonta now being so caught up in the need to protect everyone else and the belief that that’s all he’s good for. he goes with everyone’s distrust of kokichi and that’s exactly what kokichi uses to get him to do what he wants. while later kokichi becomes distrustful of gonta because during the trial, it seems like gonta is lying, and lying very well. I hope that i explained this in a way that makes sense my brain is foggy right now and i can’t seem to get the Exact Right words out

i just think they’re neat…i loveeeee the existence of the official non-despair AUs because they’re really cool insight. these two could be So Friends. basically i think they’re like this image:

#kokichi ouma #gonta gokuhara #ndrv3 #just give them time and they’d be up there among the most iconic best friend duos i swear it #if only this weren’t a murder game… #they’re like wander&sylvia in my Heart ok? they just didn’t go through the development yet #<- words that make sense to only me. i’d ramble about it so much if there was someone else that’d understand a single bit about it #analysis #i think this is enough to fall under that tag #bow rambles

[chimivx]

ghosting ↠ txt

now playing ↠ your needs, my needs • noah kahan

He left you with letters. Envelopes that took you five years to finally read, acknowledge. They take you back through your past, forcing you to make moves not only for yourself, but for your family, for your children… His children.

part two of six ~ masterlist

word count ↠ 1396 warnings ↠ (same for all parts) 18+. mentions of drugs, alcohol, smoking. swearing. explicit sexual content. these people have kids, there’s family talk, pregnancy talk. absent dad, messy family ties. stepsib shit, stepcest. infidelity. if any of these things bother you, please keep scrolling. if i missed anything PLEASE let me know!! a/n ↠ if you are new to this story, don't start here! please go to the masterlist! major thank you to everyone who's read this story. <3 xo posted ↠ 6/9/24 ~ 12:50 p.m. est

~ january 2020 ~

A melody of Christmas music played from the tv, a soft joyful sound in the background to fill the noise between the babies babbles. The holiday was just over a week ago, the movies should be retired, but your boys couldn’t get enough. They bounced on their bottoms and giggled whenever the music would start all over again.

“Think I’m going to be singing Jingle Bells for the rest of my life,” Soobin said, his warm voice comforting you just as his arms around your shoulders as he settled on the couch behind you. 

Cross legged you sat on the floor, keeping a watchful eye over your twins, Chan biting on the colorful blocks sprawled everywhere while Sunoo crawled around on the carpet exploring his favorite space in the house. 

They were a year and almost three months old, having celebrated their birthdays back in October right here in their home. Your entire family showed up, Joy and Jin popping in an hour earlier than expected with piles of wrapped boxes in their arms for your boys to open later. Later finding out they were boxes of clothes and shoes, specially ordered from a designer Joy was currently hyper fixated on, along with a check in the card for an amount of money you and Soobin positively could not accept, and a promise to redo the boys bedrooms as they grew older.

The clothes were nice, as were the shoes. You’re sure Sana accepted these kinds of gifts when her baby’s were turning a year old, but your boys simply wouldn’t last. They’d get all but one use out of each outfit with how careful one needed to be with the fabrics. You were raising twin boys, twin boys that were just learning to stand and still needed assistance with eating. Blow outs were still a common occurrence, both you and Soobin were tossing out multiple onesies weekly.

Both Chan and Sunoo hated shoes. Hated them. Once they were slipped on, they were kicked off. Soobin began keeping track of when the boys did it, when they were frustrated by sensory things, even though they were only a year old. Both of them, to a certain degree, were already showing signs of sensory distress.

Important things to pay attention to, Soobin had told you one night after a day of fighting with the little ones to put any kinds of clothes on.

He reminded you that they were still babies on top of everything else that flooded your brain, leaving you in equal distress. Somehow his words relieved you for the time being.

About a week ago, Christmas Day, your mother and step father insisted on the stacks of presents you and Soobin’s disapproving eyes fell upon. Many of the gifts weren’t even for your twins, but for the two of you, and they were unseriously backhanded.

A brand new toaster the two of you couldn’t even begin to afford, to replace that old thing you’ve had since college, Soobin! A blender, an ice maker, an air fryer, a whole new set of silverware… All things you and your husband didn’t want. Things you didn’t need.

Things you accepted with grace, and gratitude. Though you joked a few times about selling them online to add to the boys bank accounts. As much as you appreciated the gifts, helping with the boys' futures was ideal, and something you’ve mentioned. Many times. Soobins mother was the only one to listen, and she could barely afford to do so herself.

Taehyun and Sana didn’t come around for Christmas, they spent it down at their home in Avida. Sana’s parents and apparently many members of her family spent it there with the family of four, or so as Joy informed you while the two of you each cradled a twin as your husbands cooked dinner. It didn’t surprise you to learn her family stayed there, their house could fit a plethora of couples within it, the thing was giant, nearly bigger than the one you were raised in. 

You hadn’t seen Taehyun since the twins' birthday party, only him and his son, Minho, who was five years old making an appearance for a couple of hours before Sana called him home. They mostly stuck to themselves, Minho exploring around the twins' toys for a bit, or snuggling on his grandfather's lap.

Few words were exchanged between you and your step-brother, who was surprisingly sober. 

Hopefully for the sake of his son, Soobin had mumbled, having exchanged no words with the man dressed in black. Those two had it out for one another, whether your intuition over Taehyun’s aversion to Soobin was true or not.

Taehyun watched the boys crawl around, watched them interact with Soobin’s family, and kept his eye on them all while hugging the walls, like he was collecting recon. From time to time he’d send messages on his phone, and you wondered if it was to his wife, or to one guest invited not in attendance.

A boy you hadn’t spoken to in almost two years.

Behind you, Soobin pulled you closer between his legs, either one settling by your sides. You slotted in perfectly between his knees and allowed your head to lull backward onto him. Looking up at him from where you sat on the floor, you gave him the smallest of smiles, one he returned. Leaning over you, he pressed an upside down kiss to your lips, staying there for a few seconds before he pulled away and pressed one to your forehead.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he whispered against your skin. A slight pain speared through your heart, one that made an appearance on your brows. Soobin clicked his tongue and kissed you in the same spot, willing the discomfort away. “None of that. Look at our boys.”

Our boys.

Lifting your head, Soobin wrapped his arms around your chest and rested his chin over your hair. You both let out a laugh at once as the twins suddenly became aware of one another occupying the same space. Sunoo had crawled in front of Chan, the two sitting on their bottoms smiling at each other. They babbled incoherently at the same time, making the other laugh. Then, Sunoo lifted a hand and attempted to grab onto Chan’s foot, making his brother squeal and kick his legs like crazy. The oldest of the two watched his twin make a scene, then copied him.

“They’re best friends,�� Soobin said quietly to not distract the boys. “Two happy little best friends, how lucky are they?”

“So lucky,” you whispered, holding onto his wrists with a grip that had potential to leave a mark behind. The little ones wouldn’t be here smiling at one another if it weren’t for the man wrapped around you.

The pain within was too much to bear. The dizzying nausea, the crippling, stay in bed type of sadness that infected your limbs every single day. The heartbreak that came in waves, typically crashing whenever Soobin held one of the boys, or both, rocking them to sleep, or soothing their cries. An emptiness, a disconnect that kept you so far away from accepting his love no matter how hard you tried, making you wonder if the guilt was ever going to leave, or, if you’d be forced to live your life stuck this way, in a push and pull of loss, shame, and gut wrenching heartbreak.

10/7/2020

…You’re getting so big, you’re walking already, that means you guys are smart. That means you guys are taking after your mom because no way in hell will you be getting any smarts from me. Part of me feels guilty writing this all down on paper instead of saying it to you, when I could be saying it to you, but I know one day you’ll understand why. I have no clue what comes of these letters, these pieces of me to you, so I have no idea when you’ll ever read this, so I’ll spare you your dads complaints. It makes me so happy to see your mom smile. Last time I saw her she was smiling, she was happy. You make her happy. Soobin makes her happy. You’re living a beautiful life, and that makes me happy. You’re safe, taken care of. You deserve that. Don’t forget to love her…

☼ AO3 | wattpad | support | share with me ☼

thank you so much for reading. <3

#txt fanfic #tomorrow x together smut #tomorrow x together angst #txt angst #txt smut #txt x reader #txt x you #txt x y/n #soobin x you #soobin x reader #soobin x y/n #soobin fic #soobin angst #soobin fluff #nmwid #cruel summer

[hello-eden]

A Comforting Nightmare

The energy was nerving as they seemed to be in a dark space devoid of light but their ability to see had not been stopped. There was a creature in the middle of the room.

it felt as if their body moved on their own. they approached the creature with every part of their body screaming to run.

They stopped in front of the creature and looked into their eyes. A wave of comfort seemed to wash over them just before the creature started to speak. it spoke another language but they seemed to understand like it was their first.

 “I need your help” The creature asked it white hair that seemed to Shimmer but not light with Darkness. Their Eyes were Lazarus pit green with that had both hunger and fear. the room was ever changing. they were unsure whether this was real but something in their gut told them it was. 

‘'There are many things you do not understand, my darling compassion and I would not call upon this if I did not think you were ready”.

something wasn't right about that they could not tell if the Comfort they felt from the creature was fake or not whether they're remorse was real either. 

 “I know ww- I believed we had more time but that does not seem to be the case” Something about their tone made them nod their head. The action felt natural, not forced in any way. The most unnerving thing about this entire space was how comfortable they felt.

the creature reached their Taloned in hands up to his face and cupped it gently. without meaning to, they Leaned their face into the hand to close their eyes. 

“Thank you for letting me give you this gift.” the creature whispered before kissing their forehead. as they did it felt as though their entire energy was removed from them. as they were on the edge of passing out they woke up with a start.

Damian Wayne woke up with a pain in their abdomen from unknown Origins. he laid on their bed in pain with what seemed to be hours they did not know how long it was. by the time they felt well enough to move it felt as if it had been an eternity. he got up slowly from his bed as they stood up they knew it would not be a good day as they ran to the bathroom connected to their room to throw up.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Damien as Phantom's human side has consumed my brain again. if you do not remember it or have not seen the original post it is here. it's my post. I have tweaked it a little bit so that Damian does not realize or have those memories. I have more plans for scenes for this I might even get enough to turn it into a fic who knows. I hope you enjoyed.

#dc x dp #dpxdc #danny phantom #dp x dc #danny fenton #dc x dp crossover #batman #damian wayne #batfamily #phantom half au #batfam #dcxdp

[viablemess]

modern Codywan AU idea part 1

organized crime member Cody under "mand'alor" Jango + teacher / school board nominee with a heavy past Obi-Wan. This is a beast of an idea post so buckle up and join me for the ride this took over my brain when writing another wip and would not leave me alone. I like it a lot, I hope you do too.

tw: mentions of school shootings, mentions of sexual assault, mentions of physical assault (all vague, but still)

.

.

The Fetts are a influential and very well known organized crime family in a large city, and Obi-Wan is one of three children to Qui-Gon and maybe Shmi, alongside Anakin and Ahsoka.

Boba is a student in Obi-Wan's elementary class. After most of the students are picked up save for Boba and a few other kids, there is a shooting nearby, and Obi-Wan shelters the kiddos until the shooter is apprehended. The Fett Family shows up to pick up Boba and Obi-Wan is respectful to them, oblivious to who they are, and most importantly, kept Boba and the other kids safe. As a result, Cody slips Obi-Wan a note saying "if you need anything call me, no questions asked" with his personal cell number. Obi-Wan saves it, not because he thinks he will need it, but because Anakin might, who has been involved in many illegal street races (alongside Waxer and Boil maybe whoops, they don't know the connection for most of the plot). Or, perhaps Qui-Gon will need it, because he and Shmi have been threatened by individuals and groups around their housing.

For a bit, Boba is the line of communication between Obi-Wan and Cody. He lets little stories slip and Cody hopes Obi-Wan does not call, because he seems like a gentle soul who teaches little kids, he does not belong in Cody's world. At the same time, he is a gentle soul who teaches little kids, Cody really wants to take him to dinner.

Obi-Wan texts a few times to ask about helping his brother Anakin, and Cody admits to not being able to make street race charges go away, but he will poke around, they exchange some information, and that's that.

Cody keeps working under his dad as a very respected *ahem* commander. They're looking into a new organization who might poach some buyers off of them and their smuggling deals, and to top it off, the new organization seems to break a lot of the Fett's unspoken rules of conduct. The organization's name? CIS. Of course. Rex wants to make a gender joke. The CIS are the same folks extorting the Skywalker-Kenobi family. Also of course.

And then parent teacher conferences happen because they're helpful, but Jango gets pulled into a negotiation and can't make it, surprise surprise, Cody has to go. He manages to weasel his way into dinner afterwards, and it's great. Obi-Wan is actually a snarky minx and Cody's falling fast. Obi-Wan explains that he is running for the school board because of a lot of corruption and problems in the public school district, and he wants to support the kids who have rough home lives, and Cody does some tip toeing around, and Obi-Wan picks up on what he isn't saying, because he has done his research now. Cody is so loyal, kind, and strong, and Obi-Wan is also cracking fast. It's no question these two are hooked on each other. Cody offers to walk Obi-Wan back to his car, and finds the windshield broken or his tires slashed or something. Obi-Wan manages to pass it off, and oh darn Cody needs to give Obi-Wan a ride home and it's cute.

Anakin keeps racing to earn extra money, and Qui-Gon and Shmi try to deal with things on their own. Obi-Wan goes back home to check on his parents and only sibling who lives with them, Ahsoka. Turns out someone is threatening her in a sexual manner, threatening human trafficking, and Obi-Wan flips shit. He does not tell Qui-Gon because Ahsoka begs him not too. He certainly does not tell Anakin, and so Obi-Wan goes out and does his best big brother act and tries to figure out where this is coming from. He figures out it's Maul, who has harassed and extorted his family before. A brief fight follows. Obi-Wan breaks some of Maul's ribs. Maul breaks Obi-Wan's wrist. Teaching without his dominant hand for the next few weeks absolutely sucks, and Boba definitely talks to Cody about it. Obi-Wan does not want to panic Cody, he's dealt with people like Maul before, so he tries to pass it off as clumsiness. Cody isn't buying it, but he also isn't going to push... yet.

I'm falling asleep, but will be back with part 2 soon <3

.

I do not have time to write this but I had to share the thought before I forget it. If anyone wants to write it please be my guest just credit/share

#codywan #commander cody #obi wan kenobi #star wars #star wars au #au fic #au fanfiction #anakin skywalker #ahsoka tano #jango fett #clones #the clone wars #212th battalion #212th attack battalion #qui gon jinn #alternate universe #fanfiction prompt #fanfic prompt #fanfiction #fanfic

[deebris]

The Fractured Bonds

Nolan Grayson x daughter reader (platonic!)

Mark Grayson x sister reader (platonic!)

Synopsis: Mark finds himself facing an unexpected threat to his family when Angstrom Levy decides to hold his mother and sister hostage. Despite the family turmoil they've endured and Nolan's departure, he returns to rescue his daughter.

Warnings: Contains scenes of violence, emotional distress and it mentions that the reader was murdered in other realities. The reader is 5 years old. This is just an idea I had a long time ago and kept it stored. This scenario was inspired by Chapter 33 of the "Invincible" comics in portuguese.

Word count: 3.6k

As soon as Mark flew into the house through the window, his heart stopped when he saw you and his mother clinging to each other, as if your lives depended on that embrace. When Eve told him that Debbie had called, but the voice on the phone was a man's, he couldn't help but rush back to you two and imagine that something was wrong, and indeed it was.

At first, he ignored the hideous figure holding you both hostage, but made a point to glare at him with hatred now. His head was larger than that of an ordinary person and the shape of his brain was imprinted around the skull; moreover, the expression on the stranger's face was manic and as furious as Mark's, but there was a kind of excitement shining through.

"Who are you and what do you want?" Your brother's voice was deeper than usual; an attempt to sound more authoritative and intimidating.

"He wanted me to bring you here..." Debbie suddenly began to speak "I-I didn't know where you were. I remembered that Eve had called, I thought maybe she knew." Her voice was faltering, full of pauses between words due to nervousness. And it was while his mother was speaking that Mark noticed her bruised face, with a bleeding nose and purple patches on her arms as she held your small body as protected as possible.

You seemed to be in better physical condition than her, but your injured knee did not go unnoticed, as a thin trail of blood had formed around your calf. In an adult, the wound wouldn't have been a big deal, but your delicate skin stung with the cut, and he knew it hurt because of your sniffles. "I'm sorry, I didn't know what else to do. H-he hurt me, he was going to hurt my baby." She said the last part with regret, referring to you, while holding you closer and running her fingers through your hair.

"In fact, I think your son was talking to me." Interrupting his mother, finally that man had spoken, and his tone was cynical, too unconcerned for the taste of the furious Mark glaring at him. As if that weren't enough, he dared to touch Debbie's shoulder, acting as if he had every right to do so.

"Let them go now." Mark ordered him with dangerously calm voice, although the expression on his face was one of pure disgust.

"Not yet." He opened a diabolical smile as he began his ridiculous speech: "I've learned a lot about you, Mark Grayson. Many things. I know how violent you can get when you're angry, like now..." He paused dramatically, as if he needed to emphasize what he was about to say next, and it was only irritating Mark's impatient. "I know you got it from your father."

The scowl on Mark's face deepened as you tried to peek out from your mother's arms to try to understand what was going on, but she pulled you closer to her embrace. "Stay here with mommy, sweetheart."

Both she and your brother hadn't had the courage to tell you what had happened to Nolan; you were still too young, maybe you wouldn't even understand. They both spent the last few months avoiding mentioning your father at home, and when they did, it was in whispers so that you wouldn't start asking questions they wouldn't know how to answer. No child should know that their own father was a superhero killer, let alone that he had abandoned his own family out of sheer moral caprice.

"Did you know that your identity is public in almost forty percent of the realities where you exist, Mark?" The villain continued his taunts, wanting to get to some point. "That's almost half. And that means you're careless."

"Get to the point already." Mark asked, or rather demanded. If this continued, he was sure he would snap. This dialogue was irritating him, but as long as his mother and sister were witnessing everything, he would need to hold himself together until he found a way to get him away from here.

"You see this?" He pointed to himself, referring to his own appearance "I'm a freak... A deformed freak. So I guess it's understandable that you don't recognize me." Then he wrapped you and your mother around his arm in threat, and the grip was painful. "When you saw me before, when you did this to me, I looked much more normal!"

"Oh, god... You're that guy." Realization struck him, widening his eyes as he remembered the past.

"That guy? Is that all you remember of me? That I was that guy?" If that man's temperament was bad before, now it must have risen about twenty degrees with the lack of importance his sworn enemy had given him. "I'm Angstrom Levy! The next time you forget my name, it will be because you'll be dead!"

He was certainly furious, pouring out hatred and continuing to blame Mark for interrupting his inter-dimensional goals, blaming him for his current deformed appearance, repeating that he would always be a freak, even though he had sought out the best surgeons to reconstruct his shattered body.

"The greatest minds in a dozen realities couldn't find a way to fix my brain!" His hands clenched into heavy, tense fists, ready to crush something "And it's all because of you!"

After that, he exploded and everything happened too quickly for Debbie to stop him, and even if she were quick, she wouldn't have had the strength. In moments, you were ripped from your mother, who had taken a punch to the face. Levy held you and stretched one of your arms with the free hand. You hadn't acquired powers yet and were nothing but a child; you couldn't defend yourself alone.

Mark took a step forward, but Levy raised your arm in a strange position, ready to break it. You cried and sobbed desperately due to the intense pain. "Mommy, make him stop! Mark!" You pleaded as he twisted your arm, and irrationally shouted for your brother repeatedly, seeking someone who could come to your rescue. "Let her go!" Mark was no longer the Invincible, even in his superhero costume. He was just a man trying to protect his family, and he felt so useless and powerless that it was agonizing. Without thinking, he lunged at the hideous villain in front of him, ready to confront him in physical combat at that very moment.

"That's right. I'm right here. Come get me!" And he did, but Mark was taken aback to find himself in a completely strange place. He was no longer in his home; Angstrom Levy had sent him through one of his portals to another dimension.

He watched in shock the weird jungle he found himself in, with mutant dinosaur-like creatures devouring the carcass of another beast as large as they were right beside him. The animals noticed Mark, and suddenly they... Spoke? He heard the beasts mention that it had been a long time since they had seen any Homo Sapiens, obsessed with devouring him. Apparently, he was in some apocalyptic dimension where humans had been extinct by these beasts. He could have ended these animals in seconds, but still couldn't help but feel fear, not for himself, but for you. How would he return to help you?

At home, Debbie had to plead with Levy to return you to her, and with some pity for your cries after he broke the arm, he returned you, allowing you to be comforted by your mother. But he kept you two close to him, with a firm grip on the older woman's shoulder, so he could use you against Mark at any moment.

"It's okay. It's going to be okay," she repeated comforting words as she wiped away your tears and rubbed your back gently. Debbie had seen and heard of many cruel villains thanks to her life as the wife of a "hero," but how insensitive would a human being need to be to break a 5-year-old's arm like this? Of course, she knew that even more horrendous things had happened to children in this world, but you were her daughter, and it hit her deeply.

Debbie felt you faint in her lap and panicked. She shouldn't have shaken you the way she did, but in the midst of desperation, the last thing she wanted was to see you silent, with your eyes closed. You passed out from the pain. It's normal, she's aware of that, but it was still terrifying. She was only taken out of her stupor when she heard his disgusting voice again:

"I can't believe you're going to lie to her like that." He drew attention to himself. "What kind of mother are you? How can you say that to her? You're not sure about that." Debbie ignored him, and he took it as a challenge. "I bet you're not even listening to me. Blocking me from your mind, aren't you?" He insisted. "Are you sure you don't want to talk? I could use your company."

He tried once more, but still received no response from the woman. Levy shifted his gaze from Debbie to carefully observe you. He knew the pain must be intense; he should have given up injuring you as soon as Mark passed through the portal, but he preferred to do it as a reminder. A warning for when his brother returned. If he returned. "Let's check on your son. Let's see how well Mark managed to survive this reality."

Extending his hands to summon a portal that glowed green, a figure in his yellow superhero uniform passed through the colorful circle.

"You were going to hurt my sister?" The boy shouted as soon as he saw he was back home, numb with a sense of vengeance.

"Not only was I going to, but I did." The statement made Mark's blood run cold.

"Mark?" Debbie called him desperately to show your state. She couldn't bear to see you suffer. Mark held his mother's gaze, interrupting only to finally notice you, who were motionless. Your arm was in such a unusual and swollen position. Your face, which was once red from crying, now had turned pale, and if it weren't for your shallow breathing, he would have thought you were dead.

"What have you done?" He asked furiously.

Levy made no move to respond, taking you from Debbie's arms once again. "No! Let go of my daughter!" She shouted angrily, completely abandoning her earlier fearful expression. She refused to allow that horrendous creature to take you away from her a second time. Debbie had felt how cold and clammy your skin was, and the more she looked at you, the paler your face became.

"Welcome back, Mark Grayson." Levy said after observing the hysterical scene of the woman beside him unfold with some indifference. "Your little sister here is really cute; I personally adore this chubby face of hers." Mark's throat tightened at the sight of you in the arms of that despicable man, scared with force, and seeing his broken mother in the corner of the bed only made his heart beat harder. "You know, I've encountered her in other realities." His tone was perverse, too cynical. "But unfortunately, those versions of her didn't get to advance much in age compared to this one. Isn't that interesting?"

"You bastard!" It didn't take much intelligence to understand what he meant, and it made Mark's nostrils flare with fury.

"That also makes me wonder what must have happened differently for her to survive longer in this dimension." Debbie moved from where she was on the bed and carefully reached for the bedside lampshade while Angstrom Levy was distracted, but a brief glance at her son made her abandon the idea. Mark discreetly shook his head negatively, implying that she shouldn't do that. "Or maybe I am the trigger for this event here," he pointed out with a smile.

"If you hurt her more, I swear-" Mark said with hatred and tense body, but he was interrupted.

"What? You'll kill me? Of course, you will." The villain stared at him seriously, with some skepticism. "Don't worry. However, her well-being really only depends on you. After all, it was you who let Anissa kill her once, and Conquest, and Thragg... Although the latter was more your father's fault," he stated matter-of-factly while scratching his chin.

He seemed like had finished speaking, but decided that the hero needed to hear more upon seeing the boy's shocked face at the mention of those peculiar names, yours assassins, curiously, all Viltrumites. Levy wasn't sure if Mark was already aware of these people, but what really mattered to him was to disturb the boy. "But it's you whom I want to hurt. I want to hurt you so, so much... Your little sister is very safe, as long as I determine that the only way to hurt you is by hurting her."

Then suddenly he lifted your unconscious body in his arms as he prepared to throw you into a portal. Debbie's heart was in combustion, beating faster than ever as she suppressed a scream. But your brother's temper finally snapped, completely determined to kill him once and for all.

Mark moved forward to stop him, but within seconds, the roof of the house was pierced and him felt something, or rather, someone push him away. He couldn't see much, but he followed his mother's pleas and embraced her, protecting her from the wreckage. His throat tightened at not seeing you, not knowing what was happening, but soon part of the dust began to settle.

Struggling a bit, the boy managed to see his father's back, apparently holding the man, who moments ago was about to send you away, in the air by the neck. He relaxed a little more when he saw traces of his hair resting on Nolan's broad shoulder, finally free from the dangerous clutches. Despite the disturbing events regarding his father, Mark knew he wouldn't let anyone harm you under his protection.

Levy felt himself losing breath, his brain throbbing from the blow he received from a piece of wood fallen from the ceiling. An intense pain hit him as Omni-Man began to bash his head repeatedly against the wall. His skull was now partly mashed into the concrete, and the red liquid that was his blood flowed to the ground.

"If my left fist weren't busy, I'd make you suffer much more," Nolan's thunderous and deep voice sounded intimidatingly throughout the room. "Despicable trash like you should keep your filthy hands to yourself."

Nolan struck one last time as he whispered in a chilling whisper the last words that man would hear before having his skull pushed against the wall slowly, until it crushed like gelatin: "I'll ensure that every version of you that dares to appear here on this Earth, or anywhere in this Universe, has a slow and painful death before laying a finger on my daughter again."

And as the Viltrumite increased the grip on Levy's neck and continued pressing his head against the wall, it seemed like his eyes were about to pop out. The skin that was once brown now split between purple and pink in some spots due to the continuous pressure while him was dying.

Observing the man coldly, Nolan withdrew his hand and took care not to stain you with the blood dripping from his fingers, portraying a much gentler grimace as he observed your sleeping figure. He always found it adorable to see how incredibly tiny you looked in his arms, It awakened an intense feeling of protection. But upon noticing that you were injured, his eyebrows furrowed, carefully examining your broken arm while wondering how Mark had let this happen.

"Father, what-" Mark broke free from his mother, finally finding words amidst the shock, but was interrupted.

"Your sister needs to go to the hospital." His voice was distant, almost emotionless, successfully masking the concern.

Debbie honestly wasn't ready to face the man she had been deceived by so soon, but she couldn't care less when the only thing she had wanted for hours was just to keep you safe and close to her. She avoided his eyes as she anxiously waited for an opportunity to have you back in her arms, and her ex-husband seemed to have noticed. As hesitant as he was, he walked over to her carefully, avoiding showing a more human side of himself to his family, but also not being hostile in his gestures. He surrendered to the act and pressed his lips to one of her temples before putting you in her arms.

"Take good care of her." He stared at his son with some severity. "I can't always be here, I'm entrusting her life to you, Mark."

The boy looked at him with some indignation, as if his father doubted that he would do everything to protect you, but he knew he had been too careless, as Angstrom Levy said he was. Even though he had the strength to defend his little sister, he still found himself vulnerable tonight, almost incapable.

"You don't need to ask for that." Mark was firm, and Nolan nodded satisfactorily. He thought about saying something more, even though he didn't understand why, the last thing he should want is to speak to his father again. Perhaps it was to unload the disgust he still felt, but the health of both of you was a more important matter to him now.

"Go away." Debbie's voice surprised them. She was obviously defeated, too tired for all this, but still found the energy to stand while holding you. "It was the necklace, wasn't it? Are you spying on us?"

Nolan's gaze was hard, trying to hide how his ex-wife's contempt affected him. The months of bitterness he spent in space had changed his demeanor a bit, but he thought it would be less painful for both of them not to hear his regret after all the harm he had caused. He didn't consider himself worthy of his family's pity, although now they considered him a stranger. He knew that Mark and Debbie still harbored a monstrous image of the person he was, and perhaps he really was.

"Aren't you going to admit it?" She asked him again with indignation, seeing that the man didn't make a single move to leave.

The object she referred to was a gift from both of them to you, or rather, from Nolan. He was the one who had the idea of ​​putting the necklace around your neck with the excuse of keeping you safe. He wanted to know where you were and who you were talking to, and the way he found to do that was by projecting this piece with the help of his planet's technology. "I hope every time you hear this little girl mention your name, you wriggle with remorse and agony, if you still have any kind of heart. You were better off away."

She still remembers when he told you: 'Whenever you want to talk to me, just hold your necklace close. That way I'll always be with you.' At the time, it was something so beautiful, something they hadn't thought of doing with Mark, but now it could be different. In your childish mind, it was as if it were magical and a piece of your father would really be with you all the time. But now it stirred disgust in her, she wanted to destroy it.

"Don't take it off, Debbie. Please." Nolan's imposing voice had become softer, almost frightened, and he had finally shown some kind of weakness after so long. "Please." He repeated the plea.

"Mom, maybe it's a good idea to let her keep wearing it. At least sometimes." Mark interfered not for his father, but thinking of you. If Nolan had been able to appear today to save you, he could come to your rescue more often, although the idea of ​​you being in danger again gave him chills.

Debbie hesitated, giving up tearing the necklace off your neck. Knowing that Nolan would be able to experience their day-to-day life bothered her, but she would deal with it later, remembering that you needed medical care. She was very hurt, but her own condition didn't matter to herself as long as she saw you awake and well again. "Mark. Hospital." she announced hurriedly ignoring the fourth person in the room and the bloody scene beside her.

Nolan sighed in relief for a moment, looking one last time at you and Mark, ashamed, but adopting the stone-cold expression he had previously. "Mark, don't let her take it off." He didn't want to sound like that, but the tone of his voice carried a threat. The boy cared little about giving him any kind of response, returning a grim expression to his father as he departed at a thunderous speed through the now-open roof, just as he had come, raising the dust once again.

"Let's go," Mark said gently to his mother, lifting her delicately since you were in her arms.

#imagine #x reader #angst #sister reader #nolan grayson #invincible #mark grayson #omni man #platonic #nolan grayson x reader #nolan grayson x daughter reader #nolan grayson x child reader #mark grayson x sister reader #invincible x reader #invincible x child reader #child reader #omni man x reader

[bellafragolina]

May I request insecurities for submas and warden Ingo? What are they insecure about, and how/when do they tell their partner? How do they respond to comfort once they do?

You got it for sure for sure I love my boys

Also, for context, submas in my headcanons have big noses cause I find that very handsome

🍓🍓🍓

Ingo:

Ingo has his fair share of insecurities regarding who he is as a person as well as how he looks. He’s too loud, he’s strange, he has a big nose, he’s bossy, he’s overly attached but also standoffish, he doesn’t smile. It’s easy to list such things, not that he ever really brings them up unless you either ask or something happens related to one of his insecurities and he feels the need to explain.

Ingo doesn’t really seek out comfort in regard to his insecurities. He’s very much an Older Sibling in the sense where he feels he has to be strong, never faltering, never showing weakness. He also tries to be a strong partner, so him talking about what makes him upset takes some time to whittle out of him.

He only doesn’t hesitate when you admit your own insecurities to him. Ingo doesn’t want you to feel alone, so he sympathizes by admitting some things he worries about too, thus you two can comfort one another together. Brains are strange and can be so mean sometimes, but they don’t know everything. Ingo knows everything about you, though, and he loves every part

When you turn it around on him, cradling his face and swooning over how handsome and amazing he is, Ingo finds it hard to deny you. He blushes and sputters some refutes, but you easily disproven them with kisses to his big nose and ever present frown, with compliments over how reliable and kind he is to his loved ones. Doubts linger, and they never fully go away, but you make Ingo feel good about himself and his idiosyncrasies, and that’s enough

Emmet:

Emmet is a lockbox, never letting slip the things he doesn’t like about himself. He refuses to talk about them because he refuses to really think about them. He ignores his insecurities most of the time, and you only ever get a hint that they’re there when he wrinkles his nose at himself in the mirror or falls silent when someone comments on his strange way of speaking

Emmet is hard to coax into talking about what bothers him. He thinks it doesn’t really matter, cause he likes himself and you and Ingo like him, so there’s no problem. Or there should be no problem. He gets frustrated for still being insecure when he knows he shouldn’t be, but sadly you can’t always just whim away these things. So Emmet ignores them instead.

Where Ingo is Older Sibling, Emmet is Younger Sibling in the sense that he keeps his issues to himself to not overburden Ingo, who already has so many responsibilities as the eldest. They’re twins, but they have their dynamics, and Emmet knows this, so he brushes off any concerns and tries to focus on being happy. And it works somewhat, until the bottle finally shatters from the pressure

When Emmet shatters, he falls into you as a pit of despair. He hates himself, he shouldn’t, he doesn’t want to, he doesn’t, but why does he have to talk this way and walk that way and look like this? Why is he off putting and why do people assume he’s so mean? You cradle his broken pieces, soft comforts and exclamations of love a glue to help him go back together again. He’s nothing short of perfect in your eyes, because Emmet is Emmet, and you love him. And Emmet learns to love that too.

Warden Ingo:

Surprisingly, Warden Ingo is more open to talking about his insecurities than Subway Boss Ingo. Maybe it’s because of his amnesia, or maybe it’s because he’s so lonely that he’s desperate to talk about anything to keep your company that much longer, or maybe it’s a mix of both. But Ingo brings up his worries about himself to you at seemingly random times, confiding in you to hopefully find either comfort or a way to fix whatever it is he doesn’t like (you never fix him, there’s nothing to fix)

Ingo admits to you concerns about his appearance, his big nose and sour expression. He worries about people fearing him, he worries about hurting people because he is naturally too loud. He’s also an outsider, and it makes him very insecure when he can’t act the “correct” way. You also being an outsider makes it easier to feel okay about his weirdness.

When things grow romantic, Ingo starts admitting more worries, concerning his age, if he’s a good partner to have, if you don’t deserve someone better. Luckily it’s easy to drown out these worries with plenty of kisses and loving affection. It’s hard to talk when your head is red as can be, after all.

Now if only he could understand why he feels so uncomfortable by himself, like he should be with someone else, guiding and protecting them. . .

🍓🍓🍓

I hope these are believable! They’re what I think the boys worry about concerning themselves. If only I could kiss those big noses <3

Have a good day!

~Renee

#pokemon imagines #pokemon x reader #submas x reader #ingo x reader #emmet x reader #warden ingo x reader

[lokorum]

Pls rant about non romance cole…he’s my favorite character in anything, ever and it feels so sad that we never got to have a deeper relationship w him. Like the mechanics/possible lore of having a romance with a spirit are so tantalizingly interesting but no…also doubting we will see him in veil guard which leaves me so so broken …

*looks at their pile of unpacked feelings about cole*

so ૮( ◡̀_◡́)ა where to start....................

first of all uh! im not good at talking! that's why i draw phphp but i'll try my best to resurrect my memories from 2014 and share it with you!! sorry if it will sound weird, english is not my native language! 

well WELL from the begining then. i remember spending hours  more like days hhhh thinking about how weird and cool the recruiting scene with cole is? later when he is already with the inquisition, our party is either on guard around him or kinda treats him like he is helpless and needs special attention or guidance or something like that? demonising someone like him or framing them as in need of help are like textbook behavior ofc and im not here to be a hater, i just noticed it? moments with solas and varric fighting over him like a divorced couple are super cute for sure!!

but i remember being confused because excuse me, out of all of them, this guy??, this feral bat that is chilling on the ceiling like it's a lounge-zone inside Lucius' head, created especially for him?

he is confident. also a little bit nervous, a bunch mysterious and just ghostly cool. but also confident. (im not saying this confidence is not misplaced sometimes btw x) he even tells you that if you'll leave your head you'll die! what a jokester (҂ ꒦ິヮ꒦ິ)

and the whole quest with templars and envy are soooo horror coded, i love it!! it looked a bit silly, sure

(even after so many years im not able to get rid of the image in my brain phphphp) 

but it's still a very interesting quest!! dorian is ✨the bestie✨ but i'm always picking templars bc the implications of the story are just so good

1. its placed at the beginning of the game and your character is probably confused and anxious and dont yet worked out the routine of how to deal with their new title\powers + not every inquisitor character would want to be in the spotlight.

imagine you suddenly got yourself into position where a lot of people looking up to you, listening to what you saying, placing their hopes on you or waiting for you to fail? this is terrible! id 1000% just jumped out of a cliff!!! a small one, but still 

2. you meeting the guy who basically came from a place you now have unlimited access to.

he is: a) almost as confused as you are b) possibly came to this world without knowing consequences of that decision c) along the way he is figuring out how to be himself in the environment that is nothing like where he used to live. wow thats just like forced immigration *nervous laugh*

3. and let's not forget that you are meeting him inside your head and you can say to him "you look familiar".

dont know about you but apparently i dont need much to start screaming ¯(ツ)/¯

also can i just spend the moment to say that this is three (3) identical dialogue options??????????

the screenshot is from here btw

how awesome would it be to be able to figure out stuff together? to find comfort in someone, with someone who barely experienced it this way? to build on your strong sides? like "hope" for cole and i guess "unhingedness" for the inquisitor? i bet they would ground each other easily as well: cole distracting inq by being unintentionally mischievous and inq would have a notepad with cole's "firsts ____" or they would just read together. oh im such a sucker for hurt\comfort\some things cant be healed stuff uaaaaaaaaa

ALSO THE "FORGET" THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the drama the horror the tension!!!!!!!! you can fight me over this but heres the thought:

cole being so stressed that he is erasing\being on the edge of erasing the inquisitor's memories??????

i got the feeling that cole's confidence in the concept of "help" is, among other things, makes him being able to zoom in on something borderline obsessively? or vise versa - dismissively, not noticing "it hurts, its not for the better"? he thanks you when you promise to kill him, he cries when you do not. i swear this man (─ ‿ ─)

+quick addition bc im not entirely sure: so if i got it right, the anchor makes the inquisitor "too bright" to read? so among all the people we know about inq is the one that cole can't truly empathise on this lvl? on spiritual lvl you might say lsdkjflksdjflkj sorry!!!!! but jokes aside,this is like the perfect ground to build both comforting stories 

"someone from the party notices that cole is hanging near inq before inq do, and when asked he explains it by saying something like "dry warm skin. the air is stilled with quiet, easy to breathe. i followed the shining whispers and then i was followed no more" with the most plain face possible? "

and "today for lunch i have glass" kind of stories, like "the inquisitor is cornered and possibly bleeding and probably on the verge of passing out and they know that situation is bad and no one should follow/find them, "it's better to wait it out and deal with it on my own" kind of clown behavior. so they laugh tiredly at how pathetic they are, maybe remembering something similar from their childhood, remarks from their sibling for ex., and just trying their best to not think about how they need cole's help, cole's presence. the sense of safety that comes when he is around" 

uh!!! that wasnt neither quick or painless so i'll go make a tea wait a second please

im back!! so since i talked about the forget thing i must confess - i dont really like cole's personal quest???? again, im not complaining or anything but i remember feeling kinda empty while playing it? like deep inside me, there was something sad, but it was so far away,i coudn't even feel it properly?

both human and spirit versions of his ending made me feel like the distance between you and him lengthened, and maybe you could do something about it before but now? this "something" is missing and you're lost and can't even tell for sure if theres was a chance to do something in the first place? and cole just moved on? its super logical considering he is not a romance option but phphph so, i rarely romance someone in games, partly bc rpg tends to be a little horny and im that kind of ace who is not interested in this, partly bc i tend to pay attention to non-romanceable characters, so when i started to explore last da:i dlc and i saw cole having gf i was like "well ouch".

imagine your inq has a crush on cole but they never were able to say it clearly?

mb it was a melancholic slowburn, and your character was going through too much and felt like burdening cole with their problems would be unfair?

maybe they tried but the timing was wrong, the words felt stupid, and their hands felt too dirty, too guilty?

oh anon its been ten years and its still huuuuuurts!!!! if you following me for a while you know that im an edge lord in poor disguise so its not surprising for neither you or me that i ended up rumbling about inexplicable sadness and crushing existential guilt, but sorry for that anyway!! if anyone would want me to talk about something specific, or to draw something - im here, staring at the wall, listening to cole's banter :') thank you for the wonderful question tho, it was more than just nice to return back to this ship. im so agreeing with you about cole being the fave character from everything, but i also understand that this could mean being very unsatisfied with the way he was portrayed at some points or just with the fact that characters like him are rare so im sending you warm and tight hugs and a little sketch!! <3 

let's collectively accept the fact that dav gonna be a beautiful mess, we gonna love it (passionately), we gonna be hurt by it (not surprisingly) and COLE FOREVER WILL BE THE BEST DA CHARACTER EVER IM NOT GONNA CHANGE MY MIND FIGHT ME

#da:i #da: inquisition #dragon age #dragon age inquisition #cole dragon age

[pixelyssa]

Bye I am acc desperate atp I need helpppp

Basically I go on holidays mid July and I just know the food will be so tempting (and I’m so scared of letting myself go) and my family will obvs notice if I don’t have anything but I also want to have a nice time 😭 what do I doooo??!!

And even if i eat small amounts of things I’ve no clue how many c@ls would be in them

I will be so so grateful for any tips or advice u have!! 💓

ily stay safe bb 🩵

hey! if i was in this situation i would just heavily r3strict for the week before. that way the vacation will be like a reward. ofc thats probably not good to advise you to do 😭

maybe instead of that, you can up your workouts and make sure all of ur meals/snacks are nutritional (get ur proteins and ur veggies) vs f00ds with just sugar and sodium. and that can help u have the energy to up ur workouts too.

u said you might “let urself go” no honey, its not a choice… its brain chemistry. if ur thinking about the f00d ur gonna be having over a month from now… youre in deep. you won’t “let yourself go”. youll be anxious either way. youre not gonns get used to e@ting normal and then just stick with it, even if h do youll slowly become obsessed with ur image again soon and go back to ur ways.. thats the fuck of it all… might as well ENJOY ur vacay.

it would rlly suck to go in vacation and be trying to guess the c4lories in everything, and ordering what u think is the lightest option. you should e@t what you want.

you can still r3strict certain f00d groups. if i was going on vacay with my family theyd buy snacks for the hotel or wherever we’d be staying. i would avoid those, bc i would normally avoid them at home.

going out to restaurants id do the same thing i do at home when i go to restaurants, order something that sounds good so i can enjoy myself, whether its a salad or a big mf burger lol. and i eat till im full. (if u dont have that sense, leaving 1/2 or 1/4 of the meal on the plate is a good measurement.)

if theres an appetizer, i have maybe a bite of each one and say im saving room for dinner, (my family and friends know i get full easily) & same goes with dessert. if it looks rlly good ill have a bite, but since i ordered what i WANTED for dinner, im satisfied before a dessert comes out and i play it off that im full.

i would probably figure out what we’re doing for food and decide what is most worth it to me and save my c4ls for that.

id also make a list of things i wanna enjoy. for example: my trip to nyc i wanted to try

-new york pizza

-a pastry and latte from the cafe next to my hotel

-a martini

-something fried from a food truck

-any non american food restaurant (italian, french, idk)

-a croissant from this popular cafe in times square

and i just kinda rationed it out. i remember my bf wanted to go for a walk, i new we’d pass the bakery, so i pointed it out and indulged there. got a matcha tea and a macaroon & then played off being full until dinner and chose something light (i think i made us get sushi that night which is pretty low in c4l) another day, we took the metro to soho and we walked around ALL day, so by the time we got back to the hotel it was late. we ordered the pizza i wanted to try… and i didnt care bc i had 20k steps done. i was still able to have everything i wanted the whole time, i just r3strictied the things that werent on my list.

idk what kind of vacation ur going on but a lot of them call for lots of walking, so thats a plus. you will not g4in that much. thats why i said id go crazy a week before, so that i dont feel like im g4ining it just feels like its fluctuating normally.

either way if u let urself enjoy it atleast ur metabolism will get faster! (im toxic) lol metab week(s?) ❕

me and my bf are planning a 2 week trip to europe. 2 weeks before we go i would push myself to burn way more c4l than normal. and i wouldn’t w3igh myself in that time. in 2 weeks i could lose like 4Ibs and not even know, that way when i get back from vacation and ive g4ined 3Ibs i wouldnt even notice. then life goes back to normal!

i hope that makes sense, and i hope its not too much. i really hope u enjoy ur vacation & can allow urself to enjoy a few of the f00ds wherever ur going. 🩷

#@n@ diary #@na motivation #@na vent #th1nsp1ration #tw 3d vent #⭐️rving #⭐️ve #3d f4st #3d not sheeran #@na rules #4n@diary #4n4t1ps #4n4blr #@n@ tips #⭐️ ing motivation

[plantcrazy]

Reginald Copperbottom & Right Hand Man Re-designs & Update waffle? Character relationship waffel? Idk ^^; This is my last brain cell, school work be holding me hostage (aka. Send help).

Fun fact: I don't think I ever designed my own version of these two. I believe I kinda just adapted some designs by other folks I really liked 3 years back. (Yes, it's been that long. I was surprised, too.)

Here are my updated designs for these two. They're showing their age much better, and Reginald's new hair is much more fitting for a leader. I also LOVE what I did with RHM's proportions, and his hair is much better. I like to think when he was a kid he wanted to grow up to be a cowboy, hence his new design :P

It's pride month, so I thought it'd be on theme to work on developing these two's relationship. I never personally planned one. I just saw what the rest of the fandom was doing and was like, "Oh, that's so cute. I'm jumping on this bandwagon". They haven't had the planning like I've put into Carol & Macbeth. Those two... I dunno what happened with them. 'cause I only know TWO other people who ship 'em and only one of those, and I don't think I knew either of 'em back when I started writing their relationship into Lost children.

ANYWAY!

The stars aligned or something, the plot shoved them together, and... they work. And they're cute ( and I will go down on this ship :P). I know you guys haven't seen much of it, but it's coming; Part 2.

In comparison to those two side-plot hoggers, RHM & Reginald's relationship is... weak. And I feel that comes across in Lost Children, so... yeah. We're fixing that. These two need to be MY cute couple, not someone else who I shoved in my story. Like, my little sister & I have been getting back into our old DS, and I've modded one, and we're trying all these old games we never did like, Ace Attorney. And I love Edgelord -worth & Phoenix Wright. They have... SOMETHING canon, and in fandom they're the cutest thing ever! (That's the long way of saying they're my inspiration goals for RHM & Reginald.)

I've got some notes there for Reginald (, they'll be a readable vs when I polish their designs). I have some ideas for RHM, but I haven't committed them to paper yet.

That being said: I do have one idea I'll share. One I'll just... put out there in the wild...

What if... RHM originally became close to Reginald because he thought he was some he cared about deeply and lost many years ago. However, discovers he isn't this person.

And I dunno, drama happens or something (, maybe Terrence), and RHM learns to love Reginald for who HE is, not the person he thought he was.

I know Macbeth is partly to blame here. I've always had it in the story that HE'S the one to blame for RHM staying in the clan longer than he planned (and getting to know Reginald). Those two have an interesting friendship (if you can call it that), given RHM kinda has Macbeth at gunpoint till he's dead...

Side tracking. Anyway...

I don't have anything else to say.

I have so much schoolwork due in a short period of time; it sucks. I don't have time to work on anything else, but I wanted to put something out, so sketches it is!

Also.

This whole month is going to be a right-off for progress on anything not school related. The Next Chapter of Lost Children won't be till July.

Sorry >>

#thsc #lost children of the ccc #the henry stickmin collection #update #right hand man #RHM #reginald copperbottom #toppat clan #redesigns #poll

[pinehutch]

Okay so my Thing about Dragon Age is this:

Ten years ago, I was in constant extreme pain as I worked my way towards a rheumatoid arthritis diagnosis. I had spent the previous year working 12-18 hour days most days, between an unsustainable volunteer job and my daytime career. Sometime that fall, I started noticing that my hands were locking into fists while I slept, and that the fatigue was never getting better, and that walking was really hard, more days than not.

I tried to work through it, that first awful year. I mostly did, too. I had weeks when I couldn't walk unassisted, and months where I was sick all the time because we were trying different meds. I called the rheumatologist in tears more than once, feeling hopeless and like a failure because I couldn't tolerate some of the easier drugs. And in between it all, I worked.

On the days that I couldn't work, and if my hands would let me, I played Dragon Age.

I'm stubborn, and I don't usually watch or read or play things that other people recommend until the time feels right. Spring 2014, I needed something that would be immersive enough that it could distract me from my body but that wouldn't require too much complex problem solving. I needed gaming, and some very trusted people had recommended Dragon Age to me before, so I started Origins in March and by July I had played through Origins and DA2 and all the DLC I could get. Inquisition came out that fall, and I was hooked.

(It also was one of the first ways that I learned to distinguish between healthy pain and warning sign pain: I learned to put the controller down before my hands would be so irritated I couldn't use them at all the next day.)

So there I was, having the worst year of my life (at that point), and I got to fill up my brain with lore and distractions and become a hobbyist expert in the historiography and folklore and religion and politics of something that was entirely made up. I could invest, mentally and emotionally, but I didn't have to fix anything real, including my own unfixable problem. I just had to learn, and to play.

Dragon Age brought me into video games for grown-ups, and it brought me back to fiction writing. The first short story I had written since high school was DA fic. I came back to writing poetry, the love of my life, a couple of years later.

My life doesn't look that different from the outside vs what it was 10 years ago. I'm working out whether or not I'm okay with that; making big changes in your life is hard when you're chronically ill and have adhd and you work a complicated job with a lot of responsibility, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't try. I had expected that my general weariness would stretch over into a kind of Dragon Apathy - that there would be news and I'd say 'oh, nice,' and then go back to work and the other little agonies.

Instead, I'm delighted? Surprised? Fond? Something I loved and that I needed during a really difficult time is here, again, while I'm anticipating another sea change. The thing that brought me some happiness, some wonder, and some escape can do it still, maybe.

Anyway. I collect my favourite DA stuff at @free-smarcher. I always roll a rogue on my first playthrough. (In real life I'm a giant brain on a giant, clumsy body; my fantasy is being able to go undetected.) I love Varric Tethras because he's a highly-accomplished fuckup with too many responsibilities and because he's bad at his personal life.

When Veilguard comes out I will almost certainly, at least once, play it until my hands seize.

#personal #dragon age #viddy games #da on main

[cerealmonster15]

throwing all my sappy doodles onto the internet and running AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#twisted wonderland #jamiazu #azurido #azul ashengrotto #jamil viper #riddle rosehearts #twst #Cereal tries to draw #UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM #i have many things in my brain i need to get them OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #and the only way to do that is with my PENS!!!!!!! and sometimes keyboard #anyway this is embarrassing LOL but im doing it anyway #literally i drew the riddle stuff yesterday and had no intention of posting them but #but. but. but. uhhfhhghrhhbrhbhh as i was drawing the jamiazus. it wanted to come too #anyway i am trying to figure things out and im not sure what those things are that im trying to figure out #whatever i just think it's funny that azul is Obsessed With Them #and i am by extension obsessed w/his obsessions #ive been playing thru book 6 on my phone so i get to relive all the funny riddle/azul moments lol #like i remember a lot of it. but i also Forgot a lot of it so im just getting smacked in the face constantly #but in like a fun way. theyre blasting me with sillies #anyway this is like the millionth time ive drawn jamil and azul SNOOZING TOGETHER and i still. dont like it LOL but #one day ill figure it out. i just wanna draw characters being CLOSE and SWEET and it's SO HARD #ok whatever sitting at my laptop this long was probs bad for my back injury OOPSIE BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!