#i have no idea if i'm making sense. i watch many kids shows for work research but i also watch them for enjoyment!

[magentagalaxies]

on the note of kith season 6 (didn't want to derail the other post but have been thinking about this lately): one of the only things i disliked - or, rather, that felt off about the revival - was how crisp everything felt in terms of the aesthetic. like ik filmmaking technology has evolved since 1994 and they couldn't do the live studio audience even tho they wanted to bc of covid, but idk the original series despite clearly working with cbc and hbo always had this diy energy, vs the new season just very much felt like oh this is a corporate thing that was location scouted and filmed on a lot

but what's interesting about this fault is that you look into anything else the kids in the hall have made themselves in the past decades and it still has that exact diy aesthetic, sometimes unintentionally but that's the best part. like, i'm the most familiar with scott's works for obvious reasons, but you look at something like contemporary mouth congress music videos or any other video project scott's made just bc he wanted to make it and you can see obvious green screens, the fact that it was clearly filmed on an iPhone, using stuff around the house as props, etc. and if you look at bruce's youtube channel you get that sense as well, and it's so delightful to see bc yeah this comedy isn't a corporate entity, it's just something these guys have to make bc they are passionate about it

anyway i guess what i'm saying is if they ever decide to do another kith revival season they should have paul bellini direct it on his iphone 5 and film 99% of it at the toronto library's green screen room

idk maybe this post is too niche bc a lot of the stuff i'm citing (i.e. mouth congress music videos) hasn't actually been released yet and also i have literally been on these diy sets in the past year where someone just set up a pop-up greenscreen in their living room and my "job" is to make sure the pets don't wander into frame. but yeah idk i find it very funny that watching the revival my only complaint was the lack of that genuine diy spirit and then one year later i'm part of that type of production

#no idea if this is relatable i just had thoughts lmao #this is also inspired by the obvious greenscreen and using-his-real-cast-as-a-prop in scott's promotional video #like again it's probably bc i've been there when scott and paul are just casually filming something at paul's apartment #but i look at something like that and i can just feel all the conversations that went into putting it together #and it's funny bc i get that sense watching the original kith tv show but not as much the amazon show #(which is wild bc i have heard behind the scenes stories from the amazon show too??? spoiler alert people were very stressed) #and i also think the diy tendencies are why i even had a chance to connect with the kids in the hall #bc so many comedians just get accustomed to working exclusively on projects that a studio has set out for them #but the kids in the hall and ESPECIALLY paul bellini love smaller projects where they get to build something from the ground up #paul has made 5 different feature films that he wrote and directed and filmed entirely on an iphone 5 #(not sure if they were all specifically that model of phone he may have upgraded at some point lmao) #(also he's planning to release them onto youtube soon!!) #but yeah the goal with these iphone films was never to win every award and make a bunch of money. it's the passion for making movies #and i think since i'm a very diy-oriented person who's like ''idc if someone gives me permission i'm gonna make a multimedia musical'' #that's what made paul see potential in me which is why i even got the chance to do any of this stuff #anyway i guess what i'm saying is my advice for everyone is: just make the thing! even if you have no budget and no backing #bc even a scaled-down version of the thing is still impressive bc you made it!! #if scott thompson can film a ''crowd scene'' in scottland by drawing faces on a bunch of fingers and just filming people's hands #you can make your project something iconic

[chaoticwholesome]

sometimes it's just kinda funny that like. I'm someone who's very passionate about looking at children's media from an academic standpoint and a "this is my job" standpoint and also from an "i never really aged out of enjoying this and that's fine!" standpoint, but also feeling the need to preface all this with "yes I enjoy kids cartoons! No not Like That!!"

bc of fear this hobby gets associated with the trend of like... adults starting nasty interpersonal discourse online over shows that are not even made for them :(

#like. do i have opinions and praise about the way a show like Bluey handles social-emotional learning in children? YES! :D #would i actively recommend it to adults or start discourse over it? absolutely not! i touch grass! #i think more adults need to treat children's media as an exercise in watching things Not Made For Them #both for the sake of internet culture at large and also just like. out of respect for the young people for whom this media is made #i have no idea if i'm making sense. i watch many kids shows for work research but i also watch them for enjoyment! #and i think it sucks going back to being as embarrassed as i was in middleschool now bc this gets associated with fandombrain #i mean the trick is obviously to diversify ur tastes and have mature media in ur media diet. which i do! but yeah #sidenote theres a certain type of brainrot that demands mature media have the same didacticism and sanitization as kids shows which. wow #anyway i would love to one day become an Expert in Children's Media studies and i think the first step is to respect children as people #and as a distinct audience

[pro-sipper]

I definitely agree with "fiction affects reality" in the sense it can introduce new ideas and concepts to an audience that never considered or heard of them. What I take issue from puritans drawing the conclusion of "oh so this means someone reading an incest fic will make them want to kiss their sister" is that they only ever think about how it can make someone do bad things but never positive things. In fact, if they think about how fiction can motivate someone to do good things, their argument would fall apart quickly when they realize how often this isn't the case in reality. There's so much popular fiction out there you can find radical, far-left themes inside of so if fiction really was this powerful mind control device that puritans act like it is, all the normies who watched stuff like Gundam or Squid Game or Chicken Run or Hunger Games would have become radicalized anti-war vegan anti-capitalists but they didn't. While there are people out there where that absolutely was the case, that was entirely on those peoples' own ability to see those themes and agree with them. You can also find bigots in fandoms for media with positively portrayed women, queer, and BIPOC characters. I could drag a raging homophobe into a movie theatre to see every action movie with a positively gay character in there, he's still going to walk out as a homophobe. The reality is, fiction can never make you learn something you refuse to learn.

...and people are absolutely not looking at ship art, reading AO3 smut, or playing morally bankrupt eroges with the intention to learn something, nor expect that these things were made with the purpose to educate.

Exactly!! Such a good point about how they only expect fiction to affect things on a 1:1 level if it's something negative.

I'm sure it's been said before but overall positive and light shows like My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic or Steven Universe have so many good messages that are delivered in an appropriate way for even kids to understand and yet their fandoms are notorious for being full of hate and arguing. If a show was all about the power of friendship and fiction affects reality so severely, surely their fandoms would be the happiest places on earth?? No? Maybe because that's not how things work...

Hopefully one days antis will understand. If they even want to at this point.

#proship #proshippers #proshipper #proshipping #pro ship #proship safe #asks #sip rambles #anonymous

[blue-grama]

The Sign finale probably should have disappointed me, but... didn't?

It's been a heck of a run lately with Thai BLs that haven't quite stuck the landing, and it's got me pondering why The Sign worked for me despite sometimes feeling like a storyboard for a longer, better show.

I don't think they pulled off the emotional payoff they needed, despite that last reunion scene being so pretty and well-acted, simply because too much happened offscreen, from Khem's recovery from a gunshot wound to the entire multlifetime Tharn/Chalothon dynamic getting resolved without us seeing any of it. But somehow I wasn't that mad about it? And ultimately I think it's because this show did so many things well and so many things I'd love to see more of that I'm just like, yep, I enjoyed that ride sirs, please show me something this gorgeous again. In that sense it's joining something like Manner of Death or Kinnporsche where it's like, plot holes? Yes. Bizarre tonal shifts? Absolutely. Occasionally insane writing choices? Uh-huh. Love it anyway? You betcha. So here's what really, really worked for me:

Premise

I am always going to be onboard with QL that isn't solely coming-of-age or coming out. I'm not against those stories, of course, but give me gay romance with adult characters who know themselves and are doing adult things. I'm also a partisan for romances with high external stakes, so the mixture of crime and reincarnation was catnip to me.

Do I care that none of this training makes any sense? No.

2. Setting

Listen. Is The Sign the reason I have a document on my laptop titled "Imaginary trip to Thailand without ever seeing a beach?" Not exactly. But it's also not not the reason.

I am being willingly manipulated by the Thai Tourism Authority.

Kidding, kidding, but I do love when my Thai shows feel Thai or my Korean shows feel Korean, etc etc. I want to be driven to Wikipedia to learn more! Half the fun of watching stuff from not your own country.

3. Chemistry

I think @biochemjess covered what was underwritten about the romance in The Sign. Billy and Babe carried it on their backs and it was hard to dislike their romance, even when the series skipped over key beats.

Any time the pink lighting came out, you were gonna be in for a good time.

4. The camerawork

I don't know enough about film to speak intelligently about this, but the camerawork and aesthetics of this show were just so lovely to watch. It was really doing a lot. @chaos0pikachu wrote about it better than I ever could.

LOVED THIS. LOVED IT. So good.

We had some really lovely storytelling and visual parallels, too, like the first episode and finale both having a big action warehouse scene, or the multiple times that Phaya and Tharn ended up overlooking the Mekong river.

5. It was always kinda off the rails

I know some people felt this show started out with a strong premise and didn't live up to it, but I gotta say, I didn't have that experience. It was always kinda a bonkers watch for me. There were long training montages, random bodies in the shallows, missing genitals, extended performance art, that comedy flashback to Khem and Thongthai's college years... I never knew what I was going to get each Saturday. And I kind of loved that? I'm into unhinged. I was comparing this in my head to Last Twilight, which did disappoint me in the end, and I think it's because Last Twilight was NOT always bonkers and DID set itself up to tell a straighforward story, then dropped the ideas it had been juggling in the last episode. The Sign always felt chaotic to me, so a chaotic ending was par for the course. This is where I'd compare it to KinnPorsche, which had the weirdest fucking ending, but like, okay??? Why not!

End result? I see the flaws, but I'm giving this show tender forehead kisses anyway. Here's hoping for more like it.

#the sign the series #the sign #the sign meta #the sign bl #phayatharn

[writerof-thewoods]

Hey!

would you be able to please do CG!Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley from COD or CG!König headcanons? I rlly love ur posts btw!! :333

Oooh my bois <3 I most definitely can!! I'm sorry this took me so long 😭 I couldn't decide between either one, so I'm gonna both of them!! I hope you like them and tysm for the ask!

Caregiver! König Headcanons🖤

He definitely gives off enthusiastic dad vibes. Like he knows when to be serious and stuff, but just likes matching your energy/following your lead :D

This man is built like a HOUSE, so piggyback rides for the win. I highly doubt your feet touch the ground even once when he's around

Knows a ton of old stories and folktales (I mean he's from Austria, so it's not that far of a stretch) that he tells you! Whether it's just for fun or to put you to sleep, he just likes telling them since they remind him of when he was a kid

S O many petnames, both English and German, but mostly German. Mainly calls you mein Liebling (darling, my favorite), lämmchen (lamb), Bärchen (little bear), and Vögelchen (little bird)

Lets you put stickers on & play with his mask if you want! He'd even help you make your own so you could match

Takes you out on walks and sightseeing! He loves going outside with you and watching the birds, the rain, looking at clouds, just anything that has to do with nature

Overall, he's a very endearing and open cg. He's still anxious most of the time, but he works on it when you're around. (He'd definitely help you with your anxiety whenever he can) He wants you to feel happy and the first time you felt safe around him while regressed, he just about melted.

Caregiver! (Ghost) Simon Riley Headcanons 🖤

(Ohh boy, I have a t o n of ideas for Ghost. The man's been through so much, I swear.)

When he first found out you were an age regressor, he didn't really know how to react. He wasn't weirded out or anything, just nervous. (Considering how his father was, to say he freaked out over being a caregiver would be an understatement.) Aside from Price, he'd never had a stable or good paternal figure, so he's really going in blind not knowing what exactly to do. He's still trying though! He's just really afraid he'll do something wrong or he'll come off as too stern or like he doesn't care

Because of that, he's more of an older brother figure towards you. (Which makes sense since he is one canonically xD) He just doesn't know how to handle being a "dad" in a sense, but he still cares about you and has an "older person watching over you" sort of vibe.

It takes him a while, but once he starts getting used to it, he gets a little bit better at showing his emotions and being more open towards you. He has a huge soft spot for you and later on, other regressors in general because he understands it

Usually very silent (I personally hc him as being selectively mute :D). So whenever or if you're non-speaking, he gets along with you even more. It's not as hard for him to understand or help you because he's the same way <3 I could see him being like "Wow, well you're just like me then, aren't you? :D" and then excitedly signing to you

Too many dad jokes. He loves the look on your face when you laugh and tell him to stop. He thinks about it for a second, but then tells another one without a second thought. You can't stop it because he will n o t

He keeps both a nightlight and glow in the dark stickers on the ceiling for you. (And him as well since he doesn't like the dark, but he won't admit it)

He actually enjoys being this type of person because not only does it help you, but it helps him as well. It gives him something to care about and to get out of his own head. The guy loves you even if he doesn't say it out loud. And if he can give you a better childhood now, it's completely worth it <3

#sfw agere #fandom agere #agere headcanons #cod agere #agere asks #request answered! #requests are open! #cg! könig #cg! ghost #cg! simon riley #cod headcanons

[tinytinyblogs]

Can you write something about Yandere Bang Chan?

Home

Home is supposed to be a place where you feel safe, but not when he is there with you.

⚠Yandere theme⚠

Stray kids masterlist here

💌Hi, thank you for your request. I'm sorry it took a while for me to respond. My brain hasn't been working very well lately, so I hope this story is okay. If it's not, I apologize.

Tears silently stream down your cheeks, your red face flushed from trying so hard to hold back your sobs. The cold floor beneath you and the night breeze wafting in from the nearby window seep into your body, making you shiver. "Home?" His deep voice breaks the silence, his words sending a chill down your spine. The huge room where you and Chan are trapped feels like a suffocating prison, the air thick and heavy. It's hard to breathe and move, as if you're chained in place. The clock ticks loudly in the otherwise silent room, adding to the sense of chaos and unease. Your life is in turmoil, and you feel completely out of control.

He rules everything, especially your life, and you have no choice but to submit. You've told him you hate him, you want to go home, and you don't love him like he does, but those words only serve to anger him further. Your body is covered in wounds, and his face is twisted with anger. "Don't be stupid, Y/N," he says. Is this really love? He keeps bombarding you with the word love but his love tastes like poison. To Chan, you're just too stupid to understand. He's delusional, to the point of insanity. In his own little world, you're the main character, and he's dedicated his life to you.

He believes what he wants to believe, and he believes that you will love him as much as he loves you. He thinks you're just too shy to admit the truth. How dare you want to leave him? Don't you see how hard he works to be with you, to possess you? Don't you know how many people he's eliminated, how he watches your every move? And yet you still say you hate him? No one in the world could love you as much as he does. He places his hand on your chin and lifts your face to meet his eyes, ensuring that you have no choice but to look at him. "This is your home, Y/N," he says. "Our home. You don't need to go anywhere."

You thought you were living your best life, but in a blink of an eye, everything changed. Now, all you can see is him and his sinister smile, greeting you like you're the perfect couple, even though you don't really know him at all. You cannot describe the feeling of fear that coursed through your veins at his touch. The flower path he had given you felt like a prison, and you felt like you were walking on broken glass. You knew you shouldn't give in to him, you shouldn't listen to whatever he had to say, but you had no choice.

His power was too much for you to resist, and you were forced to remain silent and listen to his every word. Chan hates the idea of hurting you, because you are his precious diamond. But he believes you need to learn the truth. He needs to show you who you need the most in the world—only him, and no one else. "You will love me," he says. Call him crazy or insane if you want, but who do you think made him this way? It was you, from the moment he first saw you. His heart screamed that he needed to be with you, no matter what. From day one, you have been his, even though you have made it difficult for him by not letting anyone else get close to you. "No," he says.

"You should love me as much as I love you." Your mind is blank, your mouth is too heavy to speak, and you are too weak to move away from him. "No one could love me as much as I do, Y/N," he says. The thought of being trapped with him for the rest of your life makes you want to scream. What kind of monster is he, and why do you have to face him? Why you? Chan sees you as different. No one else in the world is as interesting to him as you are, and you have captured his attention. He believes that you owe him something for this. "No one." You could hear the rain falling outside, its sound filling your ears.

You kept your whole attention on Chan, just as he wanted. "You don't need anybody else," he said. But how could his voice still be so clear to you, even though he didn't raise it above the sound of the rain, which was getting heavier and heavier? "No, I'll never let anyone steal you from me." Chan feels like he's on top of the world with you by his side. This moment is one he'll cherish forever. He's won the game he created, and you're the loser. He has all the power and has destroyed the wall of freedom you once had. Nothing could be better than knowing he'll have you by his side forever, to spend his life with you doing all the things lovers do.

"You're mine," he says. "Remember that." His heart pounded so loudly in his chest that he wondered if you could hear it. Your own heart raced as well, but not because of happiness. You hated this moment, and you were terrified of the man in front of you. he doesn't care what you feel right now. He touches you, he kisses you, he hugs you, whispering words of love in your ear. He doesn't care if you believe him because happiness hitting him like a truck and he flying like there is no gravity. "Got it right?" He smiled his anger melted away, replaced by a goofy smile as he thought about you and your future together, the kind of smile that made people think he was kind-hearted, sweet, and angelic. But he wasn't.

He was far from it. The real Chan was a devil in angel's clothing. "Give me a word, Y/N." Closing your eyes, you nodded your head aggressively, surrendering all that you should have had in life to him. Chan glares at your wounds, believing that they are enough to make you submit to his will. He is convinced that you will fall for him, even though you have told him that you hate him. You are on the edge of a cliff, and Chan is poised to push you off into the abyss, into his perfect life. He is determined to have you, no matter what the cost. You crawled to him, just as he had instructed. The headache pounded in your temples, but you didn't speak a word. Your nod was enough for him. He understood perfectly and was beyond satisfied with your response.

#kpop #kpop au #stray kids yandere #stray kids bang chan #stray kids seungmin #stray kids felix #stray kids jeongin #stray kids hyunjin #stray kids han #stray kids changbin #stray kids au #stray kids fluff #stray kids imagines #stray kids masterlist #stray kids reaction #stray kids reactions #stray kids scenarios #stray kids x reader #stray kids #skz changbin #skz chan #skz scenarios #skz imagines #skz minho #skz seungmin #skz jeongin #skz han #skz hyunjin #skz reactions #skz yandere

[panic-and-procrastinate-writing]

Batfamily ages!

im trying so hard to work out batfamily ages.

so far i have damian being 15 in current continuity. he was 10 when he became robin, and i think tim was 17, so theres a 7 year age gap, same as jason and dick.

i think i remember dick saying that he was the same age as bruce when dick made damian robin, parallelling bruce and dick to dick and damian. bruce was like,,,,28? when he took in dick at 12. theres a 16 year age gap between them. if damian was 10 at robin, then dick was probably 26 years old....

(dick has to be taken in at 12 years old or none of this makes sense okay?? tim was 3 when he watched the graysons fall, and there has to be a 9 year age gap between dick and tim or everything else falls apart. dick has to be 12 for the rest of the ages to make sense. stop commenting about dick being 9 years old, he isn't in this!! and also i'm farly certain they bumped up his age again to be 12 when he watched his parents die anyway, so stop commenting that he's 9!! he's not!!)

babs i think was 16 when she became batgirl, and dick was like 13, so theres a three year age gap.

Steph is one year older than tim right? and cass is at most a year older than steph? shes described as older than jason at some point but also has been frequently thrown into the same age bracket as tim and steph but i swear is like, 6 months older than jason? god idk,,,

jason.... died when he was 15, and tim became robin at 13, so theres a 2 year age gap there. he's also 7 years younger than dick. - he got ressurected after 6 months, and was in a walking coma for a while,,, he also trained for 3 years. im gonna say ressurected after 6 months -> walking coma for another 6 months -> lazarus pit -> 3 years training -> 19 when he came back to gotham as red hood.

i have no idea what duke is doing. he's paired up with cass a lot right? is he the same age as her? Edit: after reading urban legends #18 it shows Duke in college, so hes at least the same age as tim, or older.

anyway onto the maths! [disclaimer, i had to retake maths so please be nice guys im not a genius]

if Damian is now 15, and theres a 7 year age gap between him and tim, Tim is now 22? Steph should be 23? and if theres a 2 year age gap between tim and jason, Jason is now 24. Cass is also 2 years older than tim, but shes 6 months older than jason, making her 25. (Duke is maybe 23? he's paired up with cassandra so often that i want to put them in the same-ish age bracket, but i do achknowledge he used to be younger than tim although he has apparently been aged up so im making him same age as steph instead.) Dick is 7 years older than jason, so Dick is 31?? and Barbara is 3 years older making her 34. Bruce is...47???????? that feels too young. like way too young. bruce you had so many kids at such a young age the hell have you been doing you slutty old man?

okay anyway i feel better now that i think i have some solid ages. [for when i look back at this post in several years, it is 2023, and i am ignoring every retcon of their ages that makes them younger. bc fuck that.]

#jason todd #batfam #bruce wayne #dick grayson #barbara gordon #tim drake #duke thomas #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #damian wayne #for writing #batfamily ages #batfamily

[luminous-letters]

Can you write the dorm leaders realizing they find mc attractive?

i'm so sorry. first, for answering late. and second, for not being able to include riddle and vil. (it actually took me a lot more time to write those two, but it always end up horribly. so i had to scrap them. that was also part of the reason why i was working on this for so long.)

but please let me know if it isn't to your liking anon 😭

At what point in a relationship does one party find the other attractive? It could be as quick as a heartbeat, a single glance. It could be longer than a month, or long enough to watch the whites of winter thaw into the greens of spring.

What does being attractive mean to them? A face? A body? A surface-level understanding? Or gravitation to what lies deeper than bone, an understanding that pierced through the soul.

Five months.

A pretty face... Leona's seen many across the years. In all shapes, sizes, colors or form, each of them were as magnificent and lustrous as gemstones. But few could make a mark as lasting as yourself.

He should've known it when an herbivore like you came waltzing into his territory. He should've known it the moment you made a lion's den your home. He should've known sooner that you were just so damn...you.

You had metaphorical balls of steel, just prancing like some doe in a pit full of predators. All while staring them down too.

You were annoying, unrelenting and so painfully stupid that it almost made him cry. Almost.

It all started with chanced meetings made more frequent. Then he'd notice more details about you than before.

Your head, your lips, your fingers... Then he'd start smelling things that were too hidden to be perceived. Monday... A faint scent of lavender. Tuesday— lilacs. Wednesday— citrus...?

He began to anticipate it more and more. Until a whole five months passed, then he was sure.

"This may come to you as a surprise...but, I like you."

Three months.

Azul had long been jealous of beauty. Bodies that folk adore, a tail that could swim the fastest, and a face that could make the crowds swoon and fall at their feet.

And he's seen plenty of those, more than he could count. He was an avid collector, of trinkets and admirable qualities alike. He wanted them all. He deserved them all.

And he could've had it all if it weren't for you meddling kids. You foolhardy buffoons that, by chance, managed to stop his journey to omnipotence!

But enough of that, for he was now a changed man.

Now that he thought about it, you weren't as dense as your peers. You needed a decently sharp mind to be able to make sense of his plans, much more to be able to stop it.

What a fine investment that would be. And connections to powerful people as well? My, my, this day just keeps getting better and better.

But when he would expect a witty response, you'd answer with points that barely made sense. And when he was sure you'd elicit some unprompted stupidity, you'd quip with the most sound and foolproof ideas he's ever heard. How vexing. How vexing, indeed.

He wants a bit more information... Yes just that. But the chances of it spiraling into something more... It completely slipped his mind.

"I have an offer you possibly cannot refuse."

Thirty seconds.

Kalim was an easy-going soul, carefree and sheltered since the day he was born into this world. So of course it was easy for him to fall for someone.

It was no surprise that he gets so attracted so easily. Be it an object, a pet, or another person, Kalim was almost immediately gushing and cooing the moment he decided that, 'Yes! This is the one!'

That thirty seconds, from start to finish, was utterly beautiful. He felt like the entire cosmos exploded inside him. Suddenly, he felt vitality surge through his veins, he felt like he wanted to scream to the world.

The jewels, the golds and silvers, the relics worth millions that lay in his treasury were but grains in comparison to you. He wanted to show you the world, the beauty of it.

He wanted to show you the oranges of the sunset skies, the glittering azure of the oases and the caramel dunes of sands that stretched as far as the eye could see.

"I want to dance forever, sing and laugh forever. And I think it would be a lot better if we do it together."

Two years.

Idia doesn't care about looks— or anything, in general. As long as he's got good internet and Ortho around, there's nothing he should worry about.

Love... How complex it was. It was easier to understand the gibberish codes of machine than emotion— emotion which was spontaneous and ever-changing.

He doesn't need a player two.

He was perfectly fine on his own. He's been doing it for the past years, so what's the difference? 99.99% he would do better solo-ing everything, ±.01 margin of error.

He didn't expect a blindingly bright, relentless, peppy, annoying ball of you to be that tiny margin of error.

"Go outside."

"No."

Surprisingly, you were good at most games he's played. But still a rookie, he's gotta work on that.

He would still curse — and blush — at that fateful Saturday afternoon. The day you two snuck out for a comic convention turned movie night turned boardwalk fair date.

It kept on happening and happening, more time with you. It became a constant that he looked forward to, an external push that he welcomed.

"So... About that 'no player two' thing I said a while back... I, uh... I kinda want to take that back."

Still.

You held a pretty face. He knew it the moment the panicked look on your face greeted his own questioning looks. It was toleration, that he was sure of. Toleration of another soul that dared sully the building that he visited nightly.

But it grew and grew through the months. After the winter, the day of the VDC, through the frightful night of Halloween, after you were taken away and left the ruins of a home. And until your much-awaited return.

He was waiting. He pondered and pondered, his thoughts were laced with doubt and distrust— in you and in himself. As longing of affection as he may be, he wasn't one to let himself slip so easily.

A year had elapsed, since his first encounter to Ramshackle's newest resident. A year of flurried thoughts and a hectic juggle between his dorm, his kingdom and you.

He still wanted to know more about you. There's much yet to be learned, viewpoints that he's yet to know.

"Is it unusual that I still could not make a sound decision? I worry that it may be telling of poor leadership."

"No, no. It's alright, I'm willing to wait for your decision."

"...Thank you."

#twst #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #gn!mc #gender neutral reader #twst x reader #twst fanfic #twst fanfiction #twst oneshot #twst fluff #leona kingscholar x reader #leona kingscholar #azul ashengrotto x reader #azul ashengrotto #kalim al asim #kalim al asim x reader #idia shroud #idia shroud x reader #malleus draconia #malleus draconia x reader #writing #my writing #answered ask

[literallyaflame]

Adrian. For fuck sake. You can't tease a death-faking story and then not deliver. Please man, I'm begging you.

this involves more than just my dumb ass, i don’t know how to tell it while preserving the identity of those involved? i’ll give it a shot, i think it’ll be okay

i was a sad, sickly fuck in high school. i completed my diploma through an online program because i had a plethora of medical issues. i was also fairly isolated at the time. didn’t have a lot going on. mentally ill, agoraphobic, the works

but i was also—somehow—a theater kid, and thus knew some of the most extroverted people on the planet. one of them made it her mission to reintegrate my dumb ass into society after many months of isolation, and thus invited me to go out with her and her friends. i was like. sure, whatever. (it took her a while to break me down but that’s a different story)

so she puts me in this group chat. and i meet this girl. let’s call her angela. angela was like. are you—fuck i gotta give myself a fake name too. “are you alex van rosendale?” i was like. “yeah that’s me.” she was like “from fuckface high school? with george glass?” i said “yeah sure am”

she was not normal about this information. i was confused. turns out, though, she was relatively new to the friend group. she was ALSO, crucially, dating a dude who used to have a crush on me (i’m a guy now but i was Girl Presenting at the time) in high school. and by “had a crush on me” i mean “stalked me.” he stalked me. like, he showed up my house to watch me sleep through my window. several times. he only stopped because i threatened him with violence (wasn’t gonna call the cops, we were all poor as fuck, this is the south, acab etcetera)

we met. she looked at me like i was a space alien. i looked at her like she was. a confused person, because she was. i foolishly thought “omg this makes perfect sense, her boyfriend probably said that i was a dumb slut who refused to get with him. or something. who knows.”

well

a few weeks later she says to me “hey can i talk to you”

turns out, for the entire YEAR-and-then-some they’d been dating, this dude pretended i was his dead ex girlfriend. according to him—we dated, we were in love, and then i died horribly in a car accident. he wept over my photos in front of her. he showed her my unused Facebook account that just had, like, one post saying “i miss you” (from when i left school on account of sickness disease). he used my legal human name. the works.

i have no idea how he thought this would not backfire eventually, but after a while, she happened to meet me. through sheer, dumb luck

somehow they didn’t break up over this (bro idk) but they broke up later, thank god. that’s the end of the “some dude faked my death” story but how fucked up is that

#kinda drunk rn

[endthedream]

sunshine

pairing: merman!jeno x reader (she/her)

summary: Moving back to the town known for it's cruse of letting fisherman disappear from the ocean isn't the best idea - accoring to your parents. But they don't understand. They don't understand that for five years you lived without knowing if the encounter you had with a strange boy with a fishtail was real. They don't understand that your heart is calling for him.

words: 21.3k

story colour: silver

note: This story is so different from everything I've written so far. And I can say with my whole heart that I'm proud of this. Everyone close to me had to witness the mess I've been while writing this. The excitment, frustration and impatience I had while working on this. I really hope you enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Remember to always treat people with kidness!🪽

(Also enjoy the little special guest appearing in this story)

masterlist of ‘nct dream as supernatural creatures’

It feels like ages since you last been here.

The place you grew up in. The place you spent your childhood in. All your favorite memories happened in this very town.

A small seaside town south of the pacific ocean. It’s fairly known for its high fish rate. Fisher all over the world visit this town to see for themselves the wonder it promises. But as many fishers as you gain, as many you also lose as well. While the town is known for its wonders, it is also known for its curse. Many people sailing the sea around the town have mysteriously gone missing, only their boat returning safely to the shore. At first every time this happened, people would search day after day for the missing person, but after many of those incidents, people stopped. Now only a bitter taste lingers whenever an empty boat washes up on the shore.

Shortly before your parents decided to move away from the town you once called your home, a nine-year-old girl went missing. She vanished after going into the sea for a swim. She was just four years younger than you. Everyone in town was in shock, mourning over the young life that was taken that day.

So, it makes sense why your parents and friends questioned your decision to go back to the very same town you moved away from. The very same town your parents started to get scared of.

You could just say it’s the sea you miss. The smell of saltwater engulfing you. The melody of the waves crashing against the sand, hypnotizing everyone that spends just a few minutes watching it. You could say it’s the people greeting you every day, asking about your well-being, and offering you fresh fruits to try. The genuine care the people show and the fun little events they plan. You could say you miss the friends you grew up with, not having talked to them in five years and wanting to know what happened to them. Get in on the five-year worth gossip you missed. You could say you miss the person you once were back when you were 13, craving to seek what you lost and once had. But that would all be a lie.

The answer is very simple. You are going back because the town is calling you. Well, not the town itself, more someone else. It’s him calling you.

When you step foot outside the little apartment you moved in a few hours ago, you are immediately greeted with the fresh breeze of the coastal town. Salt lingers in the air, and you can hear seagulls squawking as they fly over the water. A familiar feeling washes over you, the very same you felt as a child. It makes you stop with your eyes closed, taking in the nostalgia that engulfs you. You can get used to this again. How your muscles loosen up and every doubt you felt, every hardship you had over the past months, it all fades away almost instantly. It’s like you are ten years old again, running through the small streets, chasing the wind, and filling the town with your joyous laughter.

But before you stand still on the same spot for any longer, you decide to walk around the town, intrigued by what has changed in the five years that you’ve been away.

And you notice pretty quickly that nothing really changed. Yes, the people grew older. The apple lady has more wrinkles on her phase and old creepy Mike can barely walk anymore, but the town still looks the same. You still find the graffiti at the back of the fish museum – yes, the chairman of the town insisted on making one to honor the towns trademark - was still there, looking exactly as worn out as it did before you left. The little bakery still has tape sticking over the hole a teenager smashed into the window when you were nine. You guess that they either don’t have the money or time to fix it and work well enough with the tape. The water dispenser still stands at the exact same place, a bit rustier than you have it in mind, seeming that still no one uses it. You remember your mother telling you how many germs there are on it, and it made you stay five feet apart from it ever since. You also saw one kid turning it on and tripping over as the force of the water splashed right into their face.

But most importantly, you walk by the small garden that was built further away from the town center. It was made by the Na’s who own the local flower shop. Ever since you discovered it, is has been your favorite place. You remember how you used to always come here whenever your parents gave you a hard time at home. And as you enter the small area, you can’t fight the small smile that makes its way to your lips.

The garden is filled with flowers of all kind and colors. Butterflies, bees and other small animals fly around, taking place on the beautiful flowers. A magpie flies by you and into the tree where its nest is, feeding its baby with worms they just found. You can’t help but to stare at the scenery in front of you, silently thanking the Na’s for still taking care of this place and putting their time into making it look like you stepped into another world.

You wish you could stay here all day, watching the different animals and basking in the comfort you get from this place, but the rumble of your stomach changes your mind. It reminds you that you haven’t eaten anything besides a chocolate bar, too nervous about your arrival in your hometown. So, you go to the only place you’ve trusted with your food ever since you were a child.

“Dream Team” the bakery with the smashed in window owned by the Lee family. When it comes to bread, cakes, and pastries, no one beats the Lee’s. Not even the bakeries in the city you moved to. But maybe it is just because you are biased. Mark Lee, the son of the owners, was your best friend growing up. Your ride or die. Someone you thought you would never lose. Well, everything changed when you moved.

A part of you is scared about seeing him again, dreading his reaction upon your arrival. But another part is beaming with excitement, wanting desperately to see what happened to the once awkward and shy boy.

Without further hesitation, you open the door to the little bakery and step in. And almost immediately you are greeted with the smell of freshly baked goods. Bread, cakes, doughnuts and most importantly their famous cherry pie. You haven’t had a piece of it in five years and admitting it, you missed it a lot. No matter to which bakery you went and tried cherry pie, nothing could compete with the one the Lee’s bake.

The little bakery still looks the same. They still have the same tables that you and Mark used to write hidden messages underneath and the bright orange chair standing around them. You remember buying those chairs with the Lee’s when they first opened the bakery. You found them at a thrift store a few hours from here. Mark’s mom fell in love with them the second she saw them. Saying something about how they will bring contrast into the little bakery, making people stop and stare. And that’s exactly what happened. Everyone talked about those chairs, and they became the number one attraction of the ‘Dream Team’.

Walking further in, you see the small picture frame hanging on the brick walls and it wrenches your heart. They kept the picture of you and Mark baking your first cake when you were five. It’s one of your fondest moments. You had just met Mark two days prior in the kindergarten. You always thought he was weird, not talking to anyone and mostly keeping to himself. But your mom explained to you that the little boy just moved here from Canada with his parents and that he was probably just too shy to make friends. So, you made it your task to become friends with the strange boy. You can still remember the way his eyes lit up the moment you talked to him, like he has been waiting for someone to finally approach him. And when he showed you his Pokémon card collection, you knew this friendship would last forever.

Apparently forever is a short time. Because when you moved, it only took two months for the two of you to lose contact with each other. Busy with life and responsibilities. You having to adapt to a new town, a new school and struggling to make friends. And him, well, you don’t know what happened to him. Or why he stopped responding to your calls and messages. You just hope it wasn’t something bad, or that you did something to scare him away.

“Y/N?”, you hear a voice calling out for you. Turning around you see a young man standing in the door frame of the bakery. And it takes you a second to recognize who he really is.

“Mark? Is that you?” Letting go of the things he is holding in his hands, Mark runs over to you and immediately engulfs you into a tight hug, spinning you around in circles.

Joyous laughter fills the small space. “Is that really you? Or am I just imagining all this?”

A chuckle falls from your lips, as Mark sets you down to the ground again, giving you the chance to take a good look at him for the first time in years.

He looks different, but the same. He still has his boyish smile and big doe eyes, but his features matured. Showing that he isn’t the little awkward boy anymore, but a grown man. It’s weird seeing him like this again, so used to the picture of him that is still burned in your memories.

“You’re not imagining anything. I’m really here.”

Mark smiles brightly at you, taking you in a good look at you. You have changed as well, puberty making itself noticeable on your body.

“Damn.”, Mark says, his voice a lot deeper than you have imagined it to be. “You look so good. What happened to you?”

You have to laugh at that, punching his shoulder playfully. “What a charmer. But you too Mark. You look so grown, it’s crazy.”

“Yeah, puberty.”, he smiles, being almost unable to take his eyes off you. Somehow Mark still cannot believe that you’re really standing here in front of him after all those years. He has already given up on the thought of seeing his childhood best friend ever again. But here you are, in your full glory. “But what are you doing here? Are you visiting?”

“No, not visiting. I came back, permanently.”

“What?”, the boy in front of you asks in disbelief. “But why? Didn’t you like it in your new town?”

“I did like it there. But that’s not the reason I came back.” It’s not even a lie. You really did like it in the town you moved to, but somehow no matter what you did and what you changed, it never felt like home. It was never a place you wanted to grow up in or build a life in. So, you had to come back to the only place you felt like a connection to. The place that changed your life with just one incident. “I just missed my home. My real home. And I missed you. God, I missed you so much Mark.”

Mark can’t help but to pull you into another hug. “I missed you too, Sunshine.” You smile at the nickname, wrapping your arms around tighter around him. No one has called you that since you moved, and you missed it. Sunshine is the nickname Mark’s father gave you when you were nine. He said that whenever you enter a room the sun shines brighter, like it senses the presence of someone pure hearted. He called you the happy pill since you loved to make the people around the town smile. Helping them with their tasks, gifting the children your old play toys and always wearing a smile yourself. The nickname got carried around and after a while everyone called you sunshine.

“Mark Lee. What have I told you about leaving your things at the entrance? The customers won’t even be able to get in and-“, Mark’s mother stops scolding Mark as her eyes land on the two of you. She hesitates for a second, thinking her eyes are betraying her.

“Y/N, dear? Is that really you?” You let go of Mark, walking over to Mark’s mom.

“Yes, it’s me. How have you been doing?”

You can see tears forming in her eyes, as she sets the flowers in her hand down and wraps her arms around you. “How I have been doing? God, Y/N, how have you been doing? We haven’t seen each other in so long.”

Tears stream down the older woman’s face and you can’t help but to let one or two slip yourself. “I’ve been good. Stressed from graduating, but good none of the less. And you?”

“I’m so much better now that I’ve seen you.” You huff out a laugh, letting her go to wipe the tears from your face. “Look at you. You are the prettiest woman I’ve ever seen.”

Redness fills your cheeks as you scoff from embarrassment. Marks’ mom always knew what to say to make you feel like her words are actually true. She was one of the people helping you in the process of self-love. “You always know how to boost my confidence.”

You’ve always had a good relationship with Mark’s parents. They loved you the minute Mark introduced you to them in kindergarten, glad that their little boy finally made a friend. Especially his mom loved you. Not having a daughter herself, she treated you like the daughter she never had. Girls’ days filled with doing each other’s hair and nails. Weekly meet ups to talk about boys, discuss the problems only women understand. She was like a mother to you and seeing her again after such a long time, makes you realize how much you really missed her.

“You must be starving from coming here all the way. Sit down. I will get you a plate of cherry pie.” You smile at the mention of your favorite pie, hearing your belly grumble in cheer of finally getting something to eat. Turning around to find a table to sit on, you see Mark secretly wiping away a stray tear himself.

You sit down at one of the tables, relishing the familiar feeling you have in the presence of the Lee’s. It’s comforting, knowing you are at a place where you can be yourself. A place you are loved and appreciated at.

“You know what?”, Mark says, sitting down beside you. “This is the table we used to always write stuff on.”

“Really?”, you exclaim, already bending down to look at the underside of the table. Seeing all the little doodles you made all those years ago. From deformed dogs to funny words and friendship declarations.

“Don’t think I’ve never noticed your little drawings.”, Mark’s mom says as she puts your plate with pie down at the table. You and Mark sit up straight again, giving each other a busted look. “I clean those tables every day. But I couldn’t bare to wipe them away. If it weren’t for me spraying hair spray on them, they would be long gone.”

“Really mom? That’s so sweet of you.” Mark’s mom ruffles his hair, giving her son a sweet smile.

“I didn’t want to erase the years of friendship you have.”, she points to the pie, looking at you now. “Eat up, dear. Later I will take you two out to dinner so we can catch up some more, okay?”

Both of you nod, you already stuffing your mouth full of cherry pie and Mark laughing at your messy face. All while Mark’s mom watches you. A soft smile on her lips, glad to see the two of you together again.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Later that day you enter the bakery yet again, having changed out of your sweatpants into a summer dress. You see Mark cleaning the tables while his mom counts the income they made that day.

And you notice the vase of beautiful orange and yellow tulips on the register. “Those are beautiful.”, you remark as you lean closer to them, inhaling the sweet scent.

Marks’ mom looks up at you, a smile forming on her lips. “They are from ‘Flora’.”, she says, walking over to you.

“Flora? Isn’t that Jaemin’s parents’ flower shop?”

“Yes.”, Mark answers this time. “Well, it turned more into Jaemin’s store. His parents still help out a lot in the store, but Jaemin does most of the work these days.”

You nod, thinking about the just mentioned boy. Na Jaemin. You still remember the kind boy with the prettiest smile you have ever seen. How can you not remember him, when you had the biggest crush on him in middle school. You almost feel like the little girl again that blushed at the mere thought of being in the presence of Jaemin. Everyone had a crush on him at some point. He made girls and boys melt into a puddle right in front of him without even doing anything.

It's crazy how you can still vividly picture yourself standing at your locker until the bell rings just so you could get a glimpse of him. But from one to another day that changed. And suddenly the kind boy didn’t interest you anymore. Your focus was put on something totally different.

“Didn’t you have like the biggest crush on him?”, Mark asks with a teasing voice, knowing exactly what the answer to his question is. You used to always vent to Mark about your crush on Jaemin and how perfect he is. Mark would just tell you to shut it and go talk to Jaemin, completely over your constant raving.

“I mean, yeah, but that was so long ago.” The longer you think about Jaemin, the more intrigued you are to know what has happened to him. Did he change a lot? He probably did. “Is it okay if I quickly head to the flower shop and say hi to him? I just haven’t seen him in so long.”

“You’re sure it’s not for another reason?”, Mark asks, wiggling his eyebrows at you. But before you can react, his mom already nudges her elbow into his rip cage.

“Mark, stop that.”, she shakes her head at her son. “Of course, sweetheart. How about we meet at the restaurant?”

“Sounds perfect.”, you say, excitement rushing through your veins. “See you in a bit.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

The smell of flowers variates between sweet and fruity, and musky and deep. It fills you with happiness, relaxation and calmness. You read once that the floral scent can help with anxiety and stress. Lavender and Jasmine are even said to have a sedative effect on the nervous system and can help to provide better sleep. Sticking your nose into a Boquete bursting with aromas and scents can lift the spirit and the soul. That’s why the scent of flowers is an inspiration for perfumes and beauty products. The scents can take us to other places, evoke people and create memories.

That’s why the minute you step into ‘Flora’ you feel like you spent the whole day relaxing at the beach. It feels like this is the first time you woke up from a deep slumber and you’ve never felt more alive. It feels like a fresh breeze on a hot summer day, feeling the first ray of sunshine after a long cold winter, taking a long walk in the forest and listening to the birds chirping.

You look at the different types of flowers, in all their colors, forms and sizes. You don’t even know the name of half of these flowers.

“Welcome to Flora. What can I do for you?”, a deep voice speaks up, catching your attention. As you look at the owner of the voice, your eyes almost bulge out. Na Jaemin stands behind the register, hair falling over his eyes and a bright smile on his lips, the same you remember from when you were younger. He definitely changed. He looks older, not in a bad way. Jaemin just looks more mature. His features more defined, destroying the boyish image you still had in your head. But that was not the only thing you noticed is more defined. The hot weather made Jaemin wear a white t- shirt, showing off his arms. And you guess, he must be hitting the gym regularly, because that can’t happen overnight.

“And so, we meet again, Na Jaemin.”, you greet him as you walk over to him, a sweet smile on your lips. You watch the boys’ eyes widen in recognition of you.

“Y/N?”, his voice filled with disbelief as if the last person he expected to see was you.

“Yep, in full glory.” Jaemin walks around the corner and stops right in front of you. Like Mark, not believing you are actually here and thinking his brain is playing a joke on him.

“What?”, his hands hold your shoulders, slightly shaking you to test if you’re real. “What are you doing here? I thought I would never see you again.”

“Well, as a talented poet once said, ‘Never say never.’” A scoff leaves Jaemins’ lips, shaking his head in disapproval.

“You are calling Justin Bieber a poet now? I always forget you are best friends with Mark. Dickinson would turn in his grave if he heard you say that.”

“What can I say.”, you remark between a chuckle. “Mark and I have taste.”

Looking at Jaemin, you understand why you’re ten-year-old you had a crush on him. Not only is his bare presence captivating, but he also has one of the kindest souls. Never going a day without having done something good for other people. He knew exactly what to do and say to make people swoon over him, but he never used it to his advantage. Always having the purest intentions with his actions.

“You took over your parents store?”, you ask him after some seconds of silence.

“Oh, yeah. I started working here fulltime after graduating.”

You nod as you listen to him, letting your eyes wander around the store. You haven’t been here a lot, always too nervous about the possibility of running into Jaemin. Occasionally, you went in the store with your mom when she was having trouble picking out beautiful flowers and needed your help. But other than that, you always avoided the store. And now years later, you start to regret it. The flower shop is beautiful. Not only because of the endless colorful flowers filling the space, but also because of the wooden furniture giving it a cozy touch. Soft music plays in the background and an orange cat lays on one of the unoccupied chairs, snoring from deep slumber.

“Do you like working here?”, you ask him, as you your eyes meet his again.

Jaemin nods his head, looking around the shop himself with fondness in his eyes. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do, and I’ve never been happier.”

You coo at him, happy that he found his place in life. “That’s wonderful to hear.”

“What about you?”, he asks you now, looking back into your eyes. “Why are you here again?” For a moment, you consider sitting down with him, telling him everything that happened over the years and everything that inspired you to come back. But you realize you have enough time to do that, not planning on leaving any time soon. So instead, you opt for a less complicated and long answer.

“It’s a long story. But I guess I just missed home and wanted to come back.”

“Well, we can always sit down and then you can tell me the longer version of your answer. How those that sound?” Another smile forms on your lips, noticing that you actually can’t stop smiling in his presence. “Sounds wonderful. You can tell me your schedule and we can figure out a day and time. I just need go now. Mark and his mom are waiting for me.”

Jaemin walks back behind the register, writing down something on a piece of paper. “Here’s my number so you can contact me.”

Taking the paper, you bid your goodbye, promising to text him as soon as you are back in your small apartment and heading to the door.

“Y/N?”, Jaemin calls out for you, making you turn back around to him, the doorknob resting in your hand. “I’m glad you’re back. We all missed you a lot.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

You can’t wait any longer. Sitting in your apartment makes you go crazy, when you know what could be waiting for you.

After going out for dinner with the Lee’s, you spent the rest of the night in your apartment. Pacing up and down, trying to ignore the raging urge raising in your veins. The moment you arrived today you could feel the ocean calling to you. You could feel him calling to you. And while that could just be your delusional mind playing tricks on you, trying to convince you of something that probably didn’t even happen, there was a part of you that still hopes. That still believes. You are not the thirteen-year-old naïve girl anymore. You are a grown woman. A grown woman who has a sane mind.

So why are you at the very end of the beach, far away from where the people usually spend their time on the sand, shortly after midnight? To prove something to yourself? To help those sleepless nights tossing and turning and trying to find answers to the millions of questions in your head?

You sit down on the rocks that separate you from the water. No one can see you from here. So, it’s just you. You and the soft melody of the waves crashing against the shore.

“I don’t know if you can hear me.”, you start to speak up into the darkness of the night. “I don’t even know if you’re still here. I mean it’s been five years. Why would you still show up?” You lean back on your hands, closing your eyes and letting the night breeze engulf your body. “I never forgot you, you know? All those years I’ve been thinking about you. If you are doing well and what might have happened to you. You’re probably wondering where the hell I’ve been. Well, it’s a pretty long story. My parents got scared of the rumors and the fisher disappearing, so they decided to move away. Far away from here, actually. That’s why I could never visit. But I wish I had. I didn’t realize how much I missed this town until I was gone. I didn’t realize how much I missed you.”

You scoff at your own words. “Do you know how pathetic that sounds? Everyone thought I was crazy, even my own parents. No one believed me. No one believed that you were actually real. My parents told everyone that it’s just my imagination, putting the fault on my age. But I knew I didn’t imagine you. How could I? When I felt you, right under my fingertips. Even days after the incident, I could feel the softness of your skin. I just want to know, please.”, you beg, voice coming out as a bare whimper.

“Are you still there? After all these years. I’m not leaving again. This time I’m staying, Jeno.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

The next days went by painfully slow. You visited the same place, sitting on the very same rocks and talking into the nothingness every single night. Not giving up your hopes. Your parents may have called you crazy, but they also didn’t raise a quitter. You know the truth and you will try again and again until you can finally be at ease.

You also have been meeting up more with Mark and Jaemin. Sometimes together, sometimes separately. It feels nice, having actual genuine friends again. The new friends you made in your old town couldn’t even be called friends. They never cared to invite you to meet ups, talked a lot about behind your back and spent their free time gossiping about everything that breaths. But they were the only people you had and so you learnt to tolerate them.

“I’m destroying you.”, Mark shouts as he follows the dance steps on the Tv. You don’t know what brought you into this situation. A Wii controller in your hand as you play Just Dance against Mark, while Jaemin sits on the couch. His belly aching from laughing at the two of you.

“Destroying me?”, you scoff. “Look at the score, I’m winning.” You must admit, after playing a few rounds, you’re out of breath. Your muscles are aching and your lungs collapsing, but you can’t let Mark win. The thought of having him brag about a win is fueling the fire inside you and makes you push through, despite your body’s complaints.

“You forget that you play against the master Just Dance player.”, Mark voice comes out in short breaths, showing the exhausting clearly.

“Is that why you lost two rounds against me?” Mark only rolls his eyes, ignoring your teasing comment and focusing on winning the game.

But as it comes to the last second, every move he makes gets declined, making you win with a huge head start.

“Take that Just Dance master.”

“That’s so unfair.”, he whines as he throws himself on the couch. “The Wii controller is ridged. I would have totally won.”

You roll your eyes into the glass of water you’re drinking. “Whatever makes you sleep at night.” Looking at the clock you let out a slight gasp. It’s already near midnight. “Oh god, it’s so late. I should head home.”

Another whine leaves Mark’s lips. “Why? I want a rematch. My ego can’t handle losing against you.”

“You’re like a little kid, Mark. We can play tomorrow again.” You grab your coat, putting it on so you don’t freeze from the cold night air.

“I will walk you home.”, Jaemin says, standing up as well and grabbing his own coat.

“Oh no, you don’t have to. If you want to stay, you can do that. Don’t worry about me.”

“No, it’s fine.” Jaemin shrugs his shoulders. “I have to open up the flower shop early tomorrow anyway, so it’s better if I go home as well.”

The walk to your apartment is, well, a bit awkward. While the both of you did hang out this week, it was just one time where you were actually alone. The other times with Mark by your side. But you don’t mind the silence. It’s nice, if you’re being honest. You enjoy not having to engage in forced small talk and just enjoying each other’s presence.

When you arrive in front of your apartment, Jaemin doesn’t bid you goodbye. Instead, he just stands there, seemingly like he wants to say something.

“Okay, spit it out. I can see that you want to say something.” Jaemin lets out a deep chuckle, raising a hand to brush the lose hair in front of his eyes away.

“Busted.”, he states, trying to break the tension that lingers in the air. “I just wanted to say that I’m really glad you’re back, Y/N. I know we didn’t have a lot of contact back when we were younger, but you were always a very dear person to me, and I was devastated when you moved.” Jaemin rubs the back of his neck, nervousness written all over his body. “I’m just glad to have you back.”

“Is that all you want to say.” He hesitates for a moment before nodding his head. “I’m glad to be back as well, Jaemin. Thank you for telling me that, it means a lot to me.”

Jaemin gives you another nod, before blowing out some air. “Well, I should better go. See you tomorrow, Y/N.”

That night you didn’t show up at the beach, too focused on Jaemins’ words. For some reason you have the feeling that it wasn’t everything Jaemin wanted to tell you that night. And it makes you wonder, what exactly made him so nervous around you?

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When you show up the next day, you feel the difference in the air. The waves are louder, crashing hard against the rock you’re sitting on, turning its once beautiful melody into chaos.  

“I know you’re here.”, you speak up after a few minutes of silence. “I can feel you watching me, Jeno. I’m getting tired of this. Please just come out.” But as every night, you speak into the void.

“Okay, I’m leaving. I’m not in the mood to wait today.” As you get up to leave you can hear a splashing sound, louder and heavier than the waves normally make. And you know that it wasn’t a wave or a fish. You know exactly what it was.

“You weren’t here yesterday.” That voice. So familiar, but yet so strange. Sounding like dripping with honey, filling up your senses with its sweetness. Sticking onto you, and not once letting you go.

So, you turn around to look at the boy in front of you. The boy everyone told you, you imagined. The boy that has been haunting your dreams, calling for you in the ocean, having a tight grip on you. The boy that made it impossible for you to let any other guy come close to you, that made you hesitate whenever someone asked you out. And the boy that changed your life. By just one incident. Not being able to control yourself, you smile. You smile at him with relief written all over your face. This is what you’ve been waiting for. The day you couldn’t wait to come. The day you finally saw the merman, whose life you saved, again.

“Hi Jeno.”

Five years ago

Your mom always told you to be aware of the dangers that lay in the unknown. To never make rapid decisions without thinking long and hard about it. She told you to stay away from strange man on the street and only talk to people your parents already introduced you to. To never take candy from anyone you don’t know and change the side of the street when you see a white van parked close by. But your dad taught you to be kind. To smile at people on the street and greet them with a friendly hello. He told you to help when you see someone in need and never hesitate to offer to take over some chores, they aren’t able to do. To tell people kind words and take every opportunity to make someone’s day better. He told you to spread kindness all over the world, because we don’t have a lot of it anymore.

So, that’s why you hesitate as you see someone lying in the sand far away from where the visitors on the beach are, not showing any signs of being alive. It is the two different approaches on life your parents taught you, that make you stop where you’re standing and think about your options. You don’t want to get kidnapped or get into a troubled situation with a strange person. But at the same time, you want to go up to the person, see if they are still alive and help them.

As you take graduate and slow steps forward, your first worry starts to fade. You don’t see a strange man laying on the ground, but rather a young boy around your age. He’s covered in seaweed, lying face down in the sand. For a minute you think he is dead by the way he lays so still, but as you get closer, kneeling beside him, you see his back rising and falling, signaling that he is breathing. Relief washes over you, having feared that you might have to report a dead body washed up on the shore. It would be the first time.

Because of the curse creeping over your small town, it’s not an uncommon thing for people to go missing and bodies never being found. So, that would have been the first time a body was found. And you’re glad it isn’t.

Still, you kneel on the ground, not knowing what to do. Maybe you should go and tell your parents, or just any nearby adult. They probably know what’s best in this situation. But at the same time, what if it would be too late? What if you leave and when you come back the boy is either dead or even worse, gone. You can’t risk that, can you? Or maybe it’s just the fact that you don’t want to get caught here, so far away from the people on the dangerous shore with the big rocks. Your parents would ground for the rest of your life and that’s not what you want as the towns summer festival is approaching.

Reaching out a hand, you softly place it on top of the boys’ bare back, gasping as you make contact with the coldness of his skin. You shake him gently, seeing if it gets a reaction out of him, but nothing. No flinch, no fluttering of the eyes, nothing. So, you shake him harder, calling out a bunch of phrases, like ‘Hello?’ ‘Can you hear me?’ ‘Are you conscious?’. But still nothing. No reaction at all.

You look around, searching for something, anything, to get him to wake up. And as your eyes land on the salty water in front of you, you got an idea.

Standing up, you walk towards the ocean. You kneel again, forming your hands into a bowl and scooping up some water. Walking back to him, careful not to let the water drip, you do the only thing you think is left to do. You splash the water right on his face.

And almost immediately, the young boy awakens, eyes wide and mouth agape. He looks around for a few seconds, dazed and confused about where he is and how he got here. That is until his eyes land on you, looking down at him. A scream leaves his lips, and he scrambles away, trying to get into the water. But his body isn’t moving, the sand around him and the seaweed covering his body, making it hard for him to get away.

“It’s okay.”, you say with a calm voice. “I’m not here to hurt you. I just found you laying here, and I wanted to help you. You don’t have to be afraid of me.”

But that does not face the boy, he still tries to get back into the water. Crawling forward with his arms and that’s when you see it.

Something silver shimmering under the seaweed. It catches your attention immediately. Getting closer to him again, you raise your hand to push the seaweed away, gasping and backing up when you see what’s underneath.

Instead of having legs like you, the boy has a tail. A silver fish tail with scales, shimmering under the shining sun. The boy turns around to you, seeing your shocked expression. He lets out a panicked sound, wiggling around like a fish on land, which he probably is.

You watch him, shock still consuming your whole body. It’s like you can’t move anymore. Every single muscle in your body is paralyzed. And you question if this is even real. Maybe you’re just dreaming all of this and in a few seconds, you’ll wake up, relieved that it was all just in your head. You wish you could move your arm to pinch yourself, but nothing of your body is responding to you. All you can do is watch the young boy with widened eyes.

He struggles, letting out a few whines and groans before eventually giving up. He just lets his head sink down, body heaving from exhaustion.

“Are you just going to watch me struggle or help me?”, he speaks up, his voice unusually deep considering he looks so young. You shake your head, coming out of your trance before looking at his face, which was now turned to you. “And it’s rude to stare at someone’s tail, you know?”

You raise your eyebrows at him, not believing the situation that’s happening to you. Is a fish really talking to you? Well, maybe half fish. While his lower body is a fish tail, his upper body still looks human.

“So, you’re just going to let me die?”, he scoffs, rolling his eyes at you. “Great, this is not how I imagined my last day alive to be.”

“Die?”, you ask, voice breaking as you speak.

“Yeah, die. Like heart stopping. Lungs not breathing in air. That kind of dying.” You can hear him sigh, probably thinking you are dense by the way you are still staring at him. “If I don’t get into the water soon, I’ll be dead. So, please. As shocked as you are to see a merman, just help me get into the water.”

“You’re a merman?” You didn’t mean to raise your voice so high, but the absurdness of the situation isn’t making it easy for you and your brain to process.

“No, I’m a dinosaur. I’m just shapeshifting right now. Of course, I’m a merman. Why else would I have a god damn tail?” He sounds on edge, like he’s losing his patience with you.

You stand up again, walking over to him. “I will help you. Under one condition.” He sighs, signaling you to continue with whatever you are about to say. He already knows it can’t be anything good, but anything’s better than dying.

“If I help you, you have to tell me more about you and you merman life.” The boy lowers his head again, thinking about your condition.

“Okay. I’ll tell you more about me. But please help me now, I feel like I will pass out in any second.”

Taking both his hands in yours, you pull the boy towards the water. It takes you a few minutes and several tries before you’re both in the water. The water stops right above your navel. The boy swims around you, feeling strength fill up his body again.

You watch him for a while, mesmerized by the fluent movements of his body. He looks so surreal as his silver tail shines brightly whenever he dives down into the water, splashing water onto you every now and then. But you couldn’t care less. All you are interested in is witnessing a miracle, a wonder, something straight out of a movie. For a second time that day, you think it is all a dream. Surely, this can’t be reality. Mermen are just fairytales. Something made up by seaman back in the day to scare people away from the ocean. You once heard that the merpeople are ugly creatures, scales covering their body and a smile that could kill you on the spot. But looking at the boy in front of you, you realize that the stories told in your village aren’t true. Merpeople aren’t disgusting sea monsters who look like something straight out of a horror movie. The opposite, to be exact. The boy looks like art, like he belongs to a museum.

His face is sharp, with high cheekbones and a defined jawline. His eyes are big, representing those of a puppy. And his plump lips are colored like a peach, matching his skin tone perfectly. The messy black hair covers most of his eyes, but every now and then when he comes up from the water you can get a glimpse of the brown orbs.

“Hey!”, you exclaim as you see him swim further away from you. “We had a deal.”

“I know.”, he says, looking over his shoulder to meet your gaze. “Meet me tomorrow at the rocks right there.” You follow where he’s pointing at, seeing the big rocks not so far from where you are standing in the ocean. “At 11 pm. Don’t be late.”

“But my parents won’t allow me to be here at 11.”, you try to say, but he’s already swimming away. Not caring about a word you said afterwards.

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You can’t believe you’re actually doing this. It’s not like you. Never in your life have you sneaked out, not even when Mark tried to force you three weeks ago. When he was going out with the popular students at your school. Your parents raised you to be well-behaved, to listen to them. They have rules in your household and one of them is your strict curfew. You can’t go out after 8 pm, and that’s still understandable considering you’re thirteen. But this rule sticks until you’re sixteen. You have to go home at 8 every day until you’re sixteen. You can already imagine the teenager fights you will have with your parents.

But up until now you have never broken that rule. Not once in your life. That was until you met the mysterious boy.

The sand feels cool under your feet, causing goosebumps to form on your skin. Even though it’s summer, the air feels cold so far away from the town. You still feel the warmth of the sun as you climb up the rock, trying to get to the top. As you climb you wonder if this is a good idea. You don’t know if you can trust this strange boy with the silver tail, or if his intentions are to harm you. You don’t know where he comes from or why he was stranded on the shore. All of this could lead to you ending up like all these fishers, lost and never found again. But still, your curiosity got the best of you. Humans were always intrigued by the unknown.

Arriving on top of the rock, you can already see a silhouette sitting at the edge of it, leaning back on their arms with their face tilting up into the sky.

“The stars are shining so bright tonight.”, you hear the familiar voice speaking. You walk closer to the figure, soon seeing the silver tail dangling at the edge of the rock, getting splashed with the water that crashes against it. It reflects in the moon light, causing it to look like small little crystals. “Haven’t I told you it’s rude to stare at someone’s tail?”

“Sorry.”, you respond, adverting your gaze and looking right into the boy’s face. A smile adores his lips, his head croaked to the side as if he’s mocking you.

“Come here, sit down.” With slow steps you follow his instruction, sitting down beside the boy, letting your feet dangle down. “I didn’t think you would actually come.”

You shrug your shoulders, looking down at your hands that nervously fidget. “We had a deal.”

A laugh leaves his lips, and you swear in that moment, you’ve never heard a prettier sound in your entire life. It’s almost like everything about him is perfect. “You’re adorable.” Blush creeps up your cheeks upon his comment, never being called that before.

“It’s so fascinating.”, he says, placing his cold hand to your chin and lifting your face so that you’re forced to look at him. His other hand takes place on your cheek, letting his thumb run over the heated skin. “How blood rushes into humans’ cheeks when they get flustered. I heard about it, but I never witnessed it myself.” He leans closer, eyes scanning your face. His scent takes up all your scenes. The salt of the water on his skin and the hint of something sweet. Vanilla? “I’ve never been this close to a human before.”

You take a shaky breath, trying to calm down your fast beating heart. “I’ve never been this close to a merman before.”, you remark, voice coming out as a whisper.

He lets out a small laugh, leaning back again, placing his hands back on the rock. “You didn’t even know I existed until yesterday.”

“That’s true.”, you nod, pulling your knees up on your chest so you can rest your head on them. “But I know now.”

“Yes, you know now.” There is something lingering in his voice. Like a hidden meaning behind his words, but you don’t know what it could be. “What do you want to know?”

“Are there more of you?”

“Yes.”, he nods. “A whole town, but we’re far down in the water. No human could ever find us. Even if they tried, they wouldn’t make it. And if by some weird accident a human does make it into our town, they will be taken care of by our guards.”

“What does your town look like.”

“It’s colorful. Corals allowed us centuries ago to use them as homes under the condition that we take good care of them. They give the town the prettiest colors. We also use a lot of shells, big shells, to decorate around the town.”, he stops for a few seconds, thinking about how he can explain it to you. “It’s nothing like your little human town. It is a kingdom, and it looks like that. Tall columns surround our castle and there are sharks, dolphins, and seahorses swimming around at all times. Most of them guard us, others are our friends. The castle itself is mostly built from bricks and stones we found back then, to make it as stable as possible. It’s large, larger than your town with thousands of fish swirling inside. We also use ship wracks as a warehouse for our belongings.”

“Are there a lot of sea people living in the kingdom?”

He snorts at the choice of your words, looking at you with amusement glinting in his eyes. “Sea people. That’s a funny way to describe us. But yeah, a lot of sea people live there. I can’t tell you any numbers, but it’s a lot.”

You nod, trying to picture what it must look like where he comes from. It must be beautiful, breathtaking. And a part of you wishes you could go with him to see it for yourself.

“If there is a kingdom, you must have a king and a queen.”, you remark, looking at him curiously.

“A king and three princes. You’re talking to one of them right now.”

A gasp leaves your lips, louder than you had  expected it to be. “You’re the prince?” He nods at your question, showing you a charming smile. And you see it, as you’re looking at him for longer. It’s what you see in movies. The charming smile, the confident posture, the cocky attitude. “Oh god, it makes so much sense now.”

“What makes sense?”

“That you’re a prince. You’re too cocky for your own good that can only come from being treated like royalty.” He lets out another laugh, loving how honest you are. “Like come on what kind of mermen voluntarily meets up with a potentially dangerous human? Only a prince who’s already confident by being praised every day.”

“Dangerous? You are far from being dangerous.”, humor laces his voice, but all you do is glare at the young boy.

“How do you know? What if I end up kidnapping you? You should feel scared.”

“Don’t get me wrong.”, he says, turning his body so he’s facing you. The boy leans down his face, his nose almost touching yours. “I was terrified at first. When I saw you, I thought that I was captured by humans and that it will be my last day alive, but then you froze up like a glacier and I knew you were as shocked to see me as I was to see you.” One of his hands graces your cheek again, feeling the heat return yet again. “And then earlier I saw the way you react to me. The heated cheeks, the goosebumps on your skin and I knew, you aren’t danger.” Leaning back again, the boy shows you a satisfied grin. “And anyway, you couldn’t even fight me if you tried to. You’re just a little girl.”

“Little girl?”, you let out outraged. “I’m thirteen.”

“And I’m fifteen. Two years’ worth of more experience, in any department.” You just roll your eyes, folding your arms and looking back into the ocean with a scowl. Little girl, as if you were a little girl. Just because he’s older and stronger build doesn’t mean you couldn’t easily fight him. “But you’re my brothers age.”

Your scowl disappears and you look back at him. “You have a brother?”

He smiles again as he sees your face, scooting a bit closer again, but just to rest his shoulder against yours. “I have two. Fourteen and thirteen and go on my nerves every single day.”

“I wish I had brothers.”, you tell him with a pout on your lips. “Any sibling would be cool. I was always alone. I had to play alone, eat alone. It got so bad to the point where I created imaginary friends and would talk to them all day long.” You chuckle at the memories of three-year-old you. It’s hard to believe at what a young age you can feel loneliness so present. “That was until Mark came into my life.”

“Mark.”, he repeats the name. “Is he your boyfriend?”

“Mark? No, he’s my best friend. We’ve been friends for almost ten years now.” You smile as you talk about much, showing the value you feel for your friendship.

“So, you don’t have a boyfriend? Any boy that you’re interested in?”, he asks, making your cheeks turn into a slight shade of pink again.

“No, I don’t have a boyfriend. But there is a guy I like. His name is Jaemin, but he is…”, you stop yourself, shrugging as you don’t know how to describe Jaemin. He is the nicest boy you’ve met. With a kind smile and an even kinder personality. But he’s also popular, a bit too popular for your liking.

“He is?”, the boy in front of you asks, persistently wanting to know about Jaemin.

“He is just Jaemin. A lot of girls have a crush on him. I don’t think I have a chance.”, you shrug another time, trying to hide the hurt you feel.

“Then don’t try.”

“What?”, you exclaim, looking at the boy with confusion. “Why?”

“I don’t know.”, he admits. “Just don’t try.” But before you can say anything, the boy sits up abruptly. Every bit of comfort that was in his body drained within seconds. He looks down at the ocean, with wide eyes and you swear you can see his chest raising and falling faster. In front of you isn’t the carefree, confident boy you spent your night with. Suddenly he is tense, his eyes hardened. You look down as well, trying to see what he’s seeing in the ocean. But all you see is blackness.

“I have to go.”, he says, already making an effort to climb down the rock.

“What why?”, you ask, not wanting him to leave yet.

“I have to go. My father is searching for me, and he can’t find out I’m here. Meet me tomorrow at the same time, okay?”

But before you can answer he is gone within the ocean. Leaving you alone in the cold, dark night with your thoughts spiraling in your head.

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Looking at him now, you don’t see the little boy he once was. This is not the carefree, cocky little prince. This is a man. His features matured, showing the years you haven’t seen. His body changed as well. Muscles spread around the smooth skin. His tail a slightly darker shade of silver, but still shimmering and shining under the moonlight. Jenos’ hair still has the same color, black like the night sky, but it’s longer and messier. But what changed the most are his eyes. The big brown eyes turned smaller, almost like he’s in a constant scowl, keeping tension in his forehead. They don’t spread warmth and comfort anymore. They are cold and emotionless.

“What are you doing here?”, he asks. His voice far from sounding friendly.

“I came back.”, you answer him, hope gleaming in your eyes.

“Why would you do that?”, he averts his gaze, looking into the ocean and away from you like he’s ashamed to be talking to you.

“Why? Because I wanted to. I missed this town.” It’s only half the truth, but you don’t want to scare him away. It’s been five years since you saw each other and the last thing you want is to make him leave again. You want to enjoy this moment for as long as he allows you to.

“Tell me the truth. I know you’re not telling me everything.” Without even looking at you, he can sense that your answer isn’t all you wanted to say. But it doesn’t surprise you. Jeno knows how to read people. He watched them for such a long time to be able to understand their body language or the sound of voice perfectly.

“I came back because I wanted to see you again.” He scoffs at that, and you can see him lowering his head. You wish you could see him right now. See the emotions on his face, but he keeps his back turned to you.

“Five years, Y/N. I waited five years for you to come here and say this.”, he turns around to you, face empty of emotions. “I waited every single day for you to come back, but you never did. I waited and waited, but not once did you show up.” He shakes his head, letting little water droplets fall to the ground. “I thought you were dead. For three years I thought something happened and you died. I had to live with that thought because what could I have done? Grow a pair of legs and ask the people in the town about you?”

Tears fill his eyes, but he blinks them away, not wanting to let you see how much this hurts him. “It was until one night they threw a party here. Underaged high school students taking over the beach with their cheap beers and loud music. A crying Mark was here getting comforted by Jaemin. They sat here, at this exact spot. They sat on our rock. Mark kept on talking about how much he misses you and how he wished you were here. And Jaemin told him that you are probably happy where you are. I thought that my theory got confirmed and I wanted to leave to mourn for you, but that was until Mark spoke up again. He said that it’s unfair that you had to move away and leave him here alone, but that he hopes you are happy in the new town. And that you find a better best friend than him. One that doesn’t suddenly ignore all your calls just because something tragic has happened in his life.” Jeno stops for a second, taking a big breath. “You never told me you were moving. You never told me you were actually leaving me and never coming back, Y/n. But still, I waited here. Every single day I waited because I hoped you would come back one day and miss me as much as I missed you. Why didn’t you just tell me? Why couldn’t you just let me let you go?”

Tears stream down your face as you listen to how his voice cracks with all the emotions he’s been holding back. “Because you told me to never talk to you again.”

He scoffs, wiping away the salty tears on his face. “I never thought you would listen to me. You never did before that.”

“But you sounded so sincere. I thought you didn’t want me in your life.”

He shakes his head again, eyes finding yours. “I can’t live a life where you aren’t in it, Y/n.” Speechless by his sudden confession, you just stare at him. A million thoughts in your head, but not one forming into a sentence.

“Has Mark ever told you why he was crying that night?”, he asks after a few seconds of silence. You shake your head, raising your hand and wiping away your own tears.

“You should talk to him.”, Jeno says, voice laced with sympathy. “Ask him about his dad.”

“His dad? What happened?”, you croak out.

“It’s not my place to tell you, but all I know is that he needs you. Even two years later, he still needs you.”

“But what about us?” Jeno shakes his head, signaling you not to speak.

“It’s okay. We have time. Mark needs you more now.” And for the first time since you saw each other again, he shows you a smile. A small one, which you almost didn’t notice. “Meet me here tomorrow at the same time and we can talk about everything, okay?”

You just nod, not knowing what to do add. Jeno turns around again. After glancing one last time at you, he lets himself fall into the water. Leaving you in the dark, cold night yet again.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Mark sounded tired when he answered the phone, but you didn’t care. You needed to talk to him now and find out what Jeno meant.

Now you sit on his bed, thinking about a way to speak to Mark. You don’t know what happened to his dad or why Mark didn’t tell you about it, but you also don’t want to assume the worst. Maybe Mark just forgot to tell you, considering it hasn’t been long since you’re back.

“Okay, what’s up?”, he asks after a while, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “You didn’t call me at 3 am just to sit here and not say anything.”

You sigh, turning towards Mark. His hair is a mess, sticking out in every direction. He dyed it blonde a few days ago, talking about wanting change in his life. And you have to admit that this hair color really suits him. Especially since he’s also been growing his hair out a bit. There are obvious eye bags under his eye, showing the lack of sleep he’s been getting. You don’t really know why. Maybe something has been keeping him awake lately. You feel bad for waking him up, but you couldn’t wait until the next day. Jeno’s words not leaving your head.

“Mark, you’re my best friend and I just want you to know that if anything’s wrong, you can always talk to me.”, you start, looking him directly in the eyes. And you think Mark knows what’s about to come. You can see it in his eyes.  

“You know?”, he asks, voice wavering a bit. You just slightly nod, scooting closer to him to take his hands in yours. “I wanted to tell you, I swear. When it happened, all I wanted to do was call you and tell you about it, but I couldn’t. You started a new life, and I didn’t want to take that away from you, or make you feel bad for it. And when you came back, all I wanted to do was spend my time with you. Make up for all the time we lost. I didn’t want to bother you with my problems, I just wanted back what we once had when we were kids. A carefree friendship.”

You feel so much in this situation. Sympathy, regret, sadness, grief, hope. But on top of it all, you feel proud. Mark had to go through all of this. Not alone, since he had his mother and Jaemin, but he still had to endure the pain of losing a very important person in his life. And instead of being selfish and calling you when he needed you, he decided not to. Just to make you have a carefree life. Just so you don’t have to worry about it. Mark is the most selfless person you know. And you are proud to call him your friend.

“Mark, you should’ve called me. No matter where I am in the world, I would always choose you. I would drop everything I’m doing just to see you. And I know it’s not what you want, but it’s what you deserve.” Mark wipes away a stray tear sliding down his cheek with one hand, squeezing your hand with the other. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“It was a stupid car accident.”, he starts, tears filling his eyes as he remembers the incident. But you know he needs this, so you hold his hand tighter and give him all your attention. Because you need it too, even if you’re not aware of it. And for the rest of the night, you talk about everything you missed in the past few years.

Five years ago

The breeze in your hair feels different, colder, and sharper than before. The waves are louder, crashing against the shore as if a storm is about to begin. You don’t know what the weird feeling in your belly means. If it’s just the nerves about seeing Jeno, or something deeper, something you should be worried about.

Jeno is late, which is a first. In the three weeks you’ve been hanging out, he was always here before you, but this time is different. This time you are the one to sit on the icy rock, shivering from the wind as you wait for him to arrive. You brought a book, one of your favorites. Jeno loves it when you read to him, finding it oddly comforting. He finds it fascinating how humans can come up with such bizarre stories, planning them out to an extent, and making money off them. But he doesn’t complain, he wants you to read to him every night.

“You’re late.”, you say as he climbs up the rock, his body dripping from the salty water. Even though the two of you met up a bunch of times now, you’re still in awe every time you see him. Jeno knows that and he’s been taking advantage of it more than you like.

“Take a picture, it lasts longer.”, he teases with his signature grin. Eyes disappearing into small half-moons.

“You’re so funny, Jeno.”, you say, rolling your eyes at him. “Don’t distract from the subject. You’re late. Hasn’t anyone told you that it’s rude to stand up a woman?”

“First of all,”, he begins speaking, brushing the wet hair out of his face. “I didn’t stand you up, I’m here now. And second, you’re hardly a woman.”

A gasp leaves your lips, punching his arm slightly. “You’re being mean again. You know I can just leave.”

“No!”, he exclaims, grabbing your wrist to prevent you from standing up. “Don’t leave, please.” His eyes are wide, filled with panic. And for a moment everything is silent. You look down at his hand and tight grip he has on you, wondering what has gotten into him.

“I was just joking.”, you say, trying to calm him down. “Are you okay? What was that reaction?”

He blows out the air he’s been holding and let’s go of your wrist. “Sorry. I don’t know what just happened. I just thought you would actually leave before we could spend time together. Before you could read to me.”

You nod, not convinced by his statement, but trying not to overthink it too much. “Do you want me to start reading now?” He nods at that, turning his body so he can see you better. “This is actually a poem book. I got it from the old thrift shop two years ago. I will read you one that I really like. It’s called ‘Deep Ocean Blues’ and is by an anonymous writer.”

“In the depth Of her lonely ocean blues Neither lost nor found at sea, She buried her dreams Deeper than she could reach And she made herself a humble home Tucked underneath the ocean floor

She found the familiar In the darkness of the water Like a magnificent storm Blue almost black almost gone — Hazy memories floating Reminding her Of what she could’ve been Now crushed and washed away

The more time she spent there The more she began to crave, The weight of water Crashing onto her skin Vast dark space holding her close Like her old dear friend Did way back when

Loneliness He welcomed her back Every time she swam in — He’d play her an old blues song Deep muddy waters Just for her Melancholy fanfare To keep her hypnotized

Mesmerized By the sound of his ocean song, She knew loneliness And treacherous waters Could always find her here Dancing with solace Right on the ocean floor”

Jeno hangs on to every word you read, mesmerized by the words and the meaning behind them. He swears that no other book tops this form of writing. He heard about poems before from visitors at the beach, but he’s never got to actually hear one himself. But he understands the popularity of them. It’s so different from what you’ve read before. It is unique and beautiful.

“Did you like it?”, you ask, looking up from the book. Jeno nods at you with glossy eyes. As you see that, you scoot closer to him, leaving the book lying on the rock as you gently place a hand on top of his. “Everything okay?”

He shakes his head frustrated by this situation, frustrated by what he has to do. Jeno tries to keep his emotions down, to not show you what this is doing to him, but he’s failing. He’s failing miserably and it only makes it harder for him.

“I’m so sorry.”, he whispers, small tears rolling down his face. You reach up, wiping each one away. “This is the last time we will see each other.”

You pause, your hand falling into your lap. “What?”

“I’m so sorry, I wish this could be different. I wish I could sit here forever with you and have you read to me, but this has to end. For your sake and for mine.”

“But why?” The sadness in your eyes destroys him. Jeno knows this sight will haunt him for as long as he lives, but he has to do it. If his father and all the residents of his town find out what he’s doing every night, they will come for him. And you probably as well. They will find a way, he knows that. Nothing is more important than to hide from the human world, to not expose the secret they’ve been keeping for centuries.

“Don’t ever talk to me again. Don’t come here anymore. Please just leave and forget about me.”

“Forget about you?”, you raise your voice, outraged by his proposition. “How do you expect me to forget about you?”

Jeno rubs his temples. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but he didn’t think he would feel his heart break into a million pieces. “Please do me this one favor. Leave. Don’t search for me again because I won’t be here.”

Jeno leaves over, pressing a soft kiss on your forehead. So soft that if you hadn’t smelled the salty scent of his skin, you would not have felt it. “Goodbye, Y/n.”

“No.” You try to reach him, but he’s faster, dodging your hand. “Don’t leave me, Jeno. Please. You can’t leave me.” Tears stream down your face, blurring your vision. You furiously wipe them away to see again. But as you open your eyes, Jeno is gone. Vanished. Like he was never there in the first place.

For the next two weeks you showed up at the same place, hoping to find Jeno again. But he was never there. He kept his promise of not coming again, but you never lost hope. You told your parents about it, hoping they would believe you. But they didn’t. They told you to stop being childish and imagine stuff. Even Mark laughed at you, telling you that he loves your imagination.

And after those two weeks, you started to doubt it yourself. Maybe you did imagine Jeno after all. But it all felt so real. Every lingering touch, every conversation. It all felt real.

Hope became your best friend that day.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Jeno doesn’t know what to feel as he makes his way back home with slow swings of his fin. Is he supposed to feel happy? Relieved? Angry? Betrayed? Is it possible to feel all those emotions at once?

When he saw you again after such a long time, he wanted to wrap you in his arms and make sure you would never leave him again. But at the same time, he wanted to scream at you, get all the pent-up frustration and pain out. Jeno wanted you to feel what he felt over the past five years.

Because he did suffer.

At first, he was in shock. Shock of what he said to you, of how he left you. Jeno couldn’t believe he actually sent you away and told you to not ever talk to him again. He didn’t realize what that actually meant to him. Never in his fifteen years of life has he spoken to a person in this way before, always choosing to be nice and gentle, even teasing, and cocky sometimes – though that side mostly came out when he was spending time with you. He couldn’t believe it and he didn’t want to.

After that came denial. He thought that if he just told himself over and over again that it didn’t happen his brain would eventually believe him. If he just suppressed his thoughts about you, he would eventually forget about you. If he just stopped visiting those rocks, he would not long for you anymore. But that never happened. Jeno found himself coming back to the place after waiting two weeks. Every single night, he came back.  He waited in the water, looking out for you, but you never showed up.

The next phase was the worst. Anger. Neither Jeno, nor any other person in his life could recognize him at that time. He started lashing out more, destroying small things that once had meaning to him. Everyone got worried because they couldn’t believe that this was the once so kind prince. Especially his brothers. They tried many times to talk to him, get him to open up to them, but they failed every single time. Even though one brother knew more than the other.

Bargain. Jeno doesn’t like to remember this time. He felt pathetic, weak, pitiable. He was making promises every day to himself, trying to convince himself that he could fix this. That he could fix the two of you. Jeno tried to negotiate with whatever higher power there was to help him get you back, but nothing happened. Nothing helped and nothing changed.

Next up, Jeno was sad. Humans would say he had symptoms of depression. Nothing could make him smile, not even his brothers who normally light up his day just with their presence. Jeno didn’t want to swim around the town to help the people or discuss plans for expansion with his father. All he wanted was to be with you. To sit on your rock, talk about everything and nothing and hold your hand once again. Jeno never thought he would miss someone’s touch so much. Worse enough that he never saw you around again. Not at the beach with Mark nor at any other town event that he could get a glimpse of. It was like you had vanished or maybe something worse.

Lastly, the upward turn. The feeling you get right after the depression lifts. After he overheard the conversation Mark had with Jaemin, Jeno felt relaxed knowing nothing happened to you. Part of him was sad that he would never see you again, but the other part was happy for you. All he ever wanted for you was to live the life you sought, to be happy and carefree. Jeno started to slowly become who he once was again. He spent more time with the people in his town, his brothers and his best friend, Aiya. He felt like he could start over again. Begin a new life, a life that sadly doesn’t involve you.

Acceptance never came. Jeno still lays in bed sometimes, thinking about you and everything he could have done differently. He wonders if you miss him as much as he misses you. If you feel the same longing that he feels. The longing to hear your voice again, touch your skin, and feel the weird swirling in his belly. He fantasizes about you waiting for him on the rock, your beautiful smile welcoming him. He thinks about it so often that when it actually happened, he couldn’t believe his eyes. There you sit, with a beautiful dress on. Your hair gently swaying in the night breeze. Jeno thought it was his mind playing tricks on him, that he was officially losing it. But then he heard your voice, the melody to his song. You talked to him for a few minutes, not knowing he could hear you. And he wanted to say something. He wanted to go up and talk to you, confess how much he missed you, but he couldn’t. It was like he was frozen.

And for the next few nights, the same routine continued. You talked to him, while he just listened to you. And then you were gone again. You didn’t show up and he thought that yet again he messed up. He thought that if he had just sucked up the courage to talk to you, you wouldn’t have left again. But when you showed up again the next day, he knew he had to take this opportunity. He had to talk to you. And that’s what he did.

“I swear if I find him, he’s going to get the lecture of his life.”, Jeno hears a familiar voice mumble not far away from him. A smirk appears on his lips, as he gets an idea. He swims behind a coral, waiting for the voice to come closer before jumping out.

“Talking about me?”, he says, watching the orange clownfish gasp in shock. A laugh bubbles out Jenos’s throat at the shocked expression on the fishes’ face.

“You scared the living bubble out of me.”, she exclaims, frowning at the merman in front of her. Jeno can’t help but let out an even louder laugh, loving the reaction he’s getting. “You think that’s funny?”

“I’m sorry, Aiya.”, Jeno mumbles between chuckles. “You just looked so cute. The way you got shocked.” His best friend rolls her eyes, letting out a huff of annoyance. Jeno knows that calling a fish his best friend might sound weird to some people, but to him it is the most normal thing ever. He grew up with Aiya, always having her around. They went through thick and thin together and he seriously couldn’t imagine a life without her in it.

“You’re lucky I’m the one who found you.”, she says, swimming around the merman. “The king is searching for you and if your brothers would have found you, then-“

“Then what?”, before Aiya could finish her sentence, she gets interrupted by another voice. Turning around, Jeno is faced with the presence of two mermen. To be exact, the probably most important mermen in his life.

“Chenle.”, Jeno calls the name of his brother with a smile. “Nice to see you. And you too Jisung. You got a haircut?” The said boy shows his brother a sheepish smile, nodding his head excitedly.

“Don’t try to distract from the obvious right now.” Not once in his life could Jeno fool Chenle. Chenle has always been attentive, watching Jenos’ every move. It was different with Jisung. The clumsy boy had to put his constant focus on not breaking things or getting caught into an underwater swirl.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” This lame excuse even makes Aiya let out a frustrated sigh. Jeno was never good at lying or hiding anything. Especially not from those close to him. He is an open book, always eager to share the exciting things in his life. So, when he first met you, he almost couldn’t contain himself. He wanted to tell the whole world about you, but he couldn’t.

“Is it about the girl?”, Chenle asks, eyeing his brother suspiciously. In this moment Jeno wished he wasn’t so transparent. He could just deny it, move on and never let the others know, but his hesitation already calls him out. “So, it is.”

“What girl?”, Jisung asks, titling his head to the side. You can almost see the question mark appearing on top of his head.

“Jeno met a girl five years ago. A human girl. He hung out with her for a couple of weeks but sent her away so that dad couldn’t find out about her.”, Chenle explains to his brother, earning a shocked look.

“That’s why dad was so suspicious of Jenos’ whereabouts back then and Jeno was depressed for such a long time.” Chenle nods, looking back at Jeno who nervously bites his lower lip.

“Is she back?” This time another voice speaks up. It’s Aiya who asks the question. He can see the worry in her eyes. Everyone knows what that means. They know what danger comes with interacting with humans. But they also know what happened to Jeno last time.

“She is.”, Jeno confirms, lowering his gaze to the ground.

“What are you going to do?” That’s a question Jeno doesn’t know how to answer. He doesn’t know what he will do, what he wants to do. If he wants to part ways with you again considering your different lives. Or if he wants to be selfish and see you every night like you did five years ago. If he wants to follow his feelings and let himself fall even harder than before.

“I don’t know.”, he answers honestly, earing sympathetic gazes from the three around him.

“It’s okay.”, Jisung speaks up, having all eyes focus on the younger boy. “You don’t have to know right now. Sleep a night over it and then follow whatever your heart desires most.” The young lays his hand on his older brother’s shoulder. “You’ve always been a person I looked up to. Do you know why? Because you make the decisions that work best for everyone. You always know what to do, even in the most difficult situations. Even in situations that would make most people insane over. You will figure this one out as well. I know you will.”

Jeno feels his heart clench, never having heard such sweet words from his younger brothers’ mouth before. “We should go.”, Chenle utters. “Before dad sends out a search petrol for all of us.”

Beginning to swim in the direction of the castle, Jeno catches up with the small clown fish, who swims unusually fast. “Are you in a hurry or why are you racing back home?”, he asks.

“No.”, Aiya answers a bit too fast. “I’m not in a hurry. I’m swimming normal. The way I always swim.”

“Is it because of Jungwon?” Upon hearing the name, the fish stops for a second, before presuming to swim as if nothing happened.

“Jungwon? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jungwon, another clown fish, just moved into a coral in your kingdom with his family, having been lost in the sea for a long time. Your dad welcomed them with open arms, offering them a home to stay in permanently. Aiya and him got along almost immediately, striking up conversations whenever they could, leaving lingering gazes whenever the other one wasn’t watching. Only a fool wouldn’t notice the obviousness of the situation. That fool is Aiya.

“You’re meeting him again today?” Jeno watches his best friend’s reaction closer, trying to read her expression, but she’s not letting anything show. She just continues to swim, ignoring Jeno completely. “Well, I just want to tell you I’m happy for you. Jungwon seems very nice. I hope that whatever the two of you have turns into something beautiful.”

Leaving it like that, Jeno enters the kingdom, waving at the other mermen and mermaids, showing smiles to the fish and sharks. He enters the castle, swimming up to where his fathers’ throne was.

“Before you go.”, Chenle stops him. “Be nice, okay? Father is on edge today.” Jeno nods, slightly worried about that knowledge. But he doesn’t let that face him.

“Jeno.”, his father speaks up with his loud voice, sitting up to be able to look at his oldest son better. A big scepter in his hand and a crown on his head. As long as Jeno can remember his dad has always had white long hair and a white beard, making him look less intimidating. “You kept me waiting.”

“I’m sorry father. I was out helping the villagers.” His father nods shortly, motioning him to come closer, which he does.

“Jeno, what I’m telling you now is something that will stay between the two of us. Don’t tell it your brothers or your little fish friend, you got me?” Jeno shakes his head in agreement, heart already beating faster at what is about to come. “I’m getting old. I can feel my bones weakening and while it’s not my time to go yet, I can’t rule a kingdom like this. You are twenty now. You’re old enough to become a king.”

“What are you saying?”, Jeno stutters out, eyes wide in pure shock.

“What I’m saying is that in two weeks I’m stepping down from my position as king and I will crown you as the next king. I trained you for this your whole life, and I think it’s time.” Jeno doesn’t know what to say, overwhelmed by everything he just heard. “I will get everything ready. Tomorrow will start the preparation, so let’s meet again after breakfast.”

All Jeno can do is nod, before turning around and leaving the room. He realizes he has two weeks left. Two weeks until he will be king. Two weeks until he has to make a decision about the two of you.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

You’ve never been this nervous in your whole life. Not when you had to hold a presentation in front of 100 students or when you were seven and your mom made you read the poem you wrote out loud to your whole family. Nothing compares to how you feel when you climb up the rock and see Jeno sitting here. For a while you just watch him. You watch his back glittering from the salt on his skin under the moonlight. You listen to the splashing sound his tail makes as the waves of the ocean crash against it. You prepare yourself for what is about to come, fearing that this might take a turn you don’t want it to.

“You’re so beautiful.”, is the first thing you say to him. And you could slap yourself in the face for such a cringey sentence. Jeno just chuckles, turning his body so he faces you.

“What a nice greeting. I could get used to that.” He holds out his hand, gently guiding you to sit beside him. “You look beautiful as well, Y/n. But it’s no surprise, you’ve always been beautiful.” The familiar heat is rushing back into your cheeks before you can even stop it. No man has ever made you do that. Countless have tried, but only Jeno could make you blush like a little schoolgirl.

“I see you still have your way with words.” You keep your tone light, teasing. Not wanting to add on to the tension that still hangs in the air.

“That’s one thing that hasn’t changed.”, he says, a deeper meaning behind those words. He intertwines your fingers with his, tugging you a bit closer to him. Jeno knows he may be moving fast, but he has waited so long to be close to you again. He’s longing to feel you again, wanting nothing more than to hold you in his arms again. You comply, scooting closer until your thigh touches his tail. It’s a weird, yet familiar feeling.

Jeno smiles at you, lifting his other hand to tug a lose strand of hair behind your ear. “I’m sorry for yesterday. When I saw you, all the emotions I held in started rushing out. I never should’ve let that out on you. I’m sorry.”

You shake your head gently, not wanting to hear an apology from him. “You don’t need to apologies for voicing your thoughts and emotions. I’m glad you did. If you hadn’t done it, I would have never known how much I meant to you.” You take a deep breath, tasting the salty air on your tongue. “Moving was the hardest thing I’ve had to do, because it meant I had to leave the things I love behind. My friends, my school, and you. Not one day has passed that I didn’t think about you. I never forgot about you, even though you told me to. I have to admit, I had a phase where I thought I imagined you. That I made you up because I was lonely, but I quickly realized that that’s stupid. I could have never imagined something as wonderful as you.” You watch a single tear drop fall down the boys’ face and you quickly raise your hand to wipe it away. “I’m sorry for leaving and I’m sorry for never telling you. If I could, I would redo everything, but since that’s not possible, let’s live in the here and now.”

Jenos’ smile gets even bigger, consuming his whole face and forming his eyes into little halfmoons. “Thank you for telling me that. I really needed to hear that.” You just shrug your shoulders, trying to play it off, but it’s not working. Jeno sees right through you. “Can I kiss you?”

The question comes unexpected, catching you off guard. Your mouth gets dry, and your head empties of any thoughts. It’s like your brain stopped working, unable to give commands to the rest of your body. The only thing you can do is nod. You can hear Jeno mumbling a small ‘cute’ but you don’t pay attention to that. Because the next thing you feel is Jenos’ hand on your cheek, leaning down until your noses are touching. He looks into your eyes one last time, before closing the remaining space and placing his lips on yours.

Fireworks light up in the sky. Sirens are heard all over the world. Suddenly you understand all those love songs. This feeling is worth writing a three-minute pop hit about.

Jeno kisses you with such gentleness as if you are porcelain and kissing you harder would break you into a million pieces. His lips are soft, slightly chapped but nevertheless soft. The hand on your cheek gently caresses your skin, making your heart skip a beat. Your hands are on his sides, touching the exposed skin. Jeno shudders a bit as you stroke his rib cage, swallowing a small groan that threatened to leave his lips. He pulls you even closer until you’re on your knees, chest touching his. He can’t get enough of the feeling of your lips, and neither can you. Enjoying every last bit of it until you eventually have to force yourselves apart to breath.

Jeno leaves a few gentle kisses on your cheek, making his way to your neck. He innocently places a kiss on the place where your neck meets your shoulder, giving it a few kitten licks, before lifting his head again to look at you. His eyes are small, pupils dilated, feeling as if he was high. Maybe he was high, and your kisses are his drugs.

“I never want to stop doing that.”, he says, his voice raspy and deeper than before. It sets a set of butterflies free in your belly.

“Me neither.”, you admit, still panting from the kiss. You let your head drop on his shoulder, smiling to yourself at what just happened. Jeno wraps and arm around your waist, also not being able to fight his own smile.

“How was your talk with Mark?”, Jeno asks after a while.

“It was okay.”, you answer with a sigh. “As okay as it can be. But we talked for a long time, and I think it brought us closer as well. So, I count it as a success.”

Jeno squeezes your waist, affirming that he’s glad to hear that. He knows how much Mark means to you. That’s why he’s genuinely happy you two could work it out.

Having Jeno so close while the waves form a gentle melody, you can feel your limps getting heavy and your eyes dropping every now and then. You can’t help the yawn that leaves your lips either, making Jeno chuckle.

“It’s time for you to go to bed.”, he says, but you just whine in responds. You don’t want to leave, loving this moment too much to let it go. “It’s okay, my love. We will see each other tomorrow again.”

“Promise?” You look up to him, searching his eyes for an honest answer, which he gives you with a small smile on his lips.

“I promise. Get home safe and sleep well. I will be here, waiting for you.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Dazed. That’s how you feel as two weeks pass by. Jeno and you have been meeting up every single night, talking to each other, playing games, and most importantly kissing. Most of your time together was spent kissing. You never leave without having your lips sore.

You feel like you’re floating on a cloud, tasting the sweetness of eternity. Those two weeks were the happiest you’ve ever been and that didn’t go unnoticed by your friends. Mark has been asking you questions about it nonstop, wanting to know who your secret boyfriend is. But you keep your mouth shut, telling him there is no secret boyfriend. Even though both of you know that’s a lie.

Currently helping Jaemin transport an order of flowers to his costumer, you notice how quiet he was. Jaemin has always been quiet, more reserved, but not like that. He would always talk to you, ask you about your day, but not today. Today he seems distant, deeply kept up by his thoughts.

“Are you okay?”, you decide to ask him, trying not to let the flowers in your hand fall to the ground. When Jaemin asked you to help him carry the flowers across the town, you hesitated. He never asked you for your help. But being the nice person you are, you eventually agreed. Now you at least have the nice sent of the freshly trimmed flowers right under your nose.

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine.”, he says, seeming like he just got woken up by a daydream. You let out a chuckle at that, watching his slightly startled expression.

“You sure? You seem a bit off today.” Jaemin shakes his head, trying to find the right words. “But you don’t have to tell me.”, you add. “If you don’t want to talk about what’s going on, I totally accept that. But I’m always here if you need me.” The boy smiles at you, showing off his teeth. You’ve always loved how Jaemin smiled, so bright and full of joy. It’s what caught your attention first and what eventually made you fall for him.

“There is something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about.”, he starts, his voice raising a bit like he’s trying to build up the confidence to say whatever has been on his mind. You just nod, signaling him to continue.

“Ever since we’ve been children, I’ve had the biggest crush on you. I loved how kind you were to the people around you, how you never judged anyone, how you didn’t let stupid stereo types cloud your vision. You opened your arms to everyone without hesitating. That’s what amazed me about you. I loved how you could sing every song that played on the radio, how the moment you walked into a room the sun started to shine brighter, and how no matter what happened you always saw something positive in everything.” He smiles to himself, fond of those memories. “But I never felt good enough. I never felt like I was worthy to love you, worthy to have you. I thought I had to become a better human before I can even consider trying to be in your life.”

“You not enough?”, you ask, shock lacing your voice. “Jaemin you were more than enough. Every girl in school had a crush on you because you were the definition of perfect.”

You can see his cheeks turning into a light shade of red, but before you can comment on it, he speaks up again. “Don’t try to distract from what I want to say.” You hold up your hands in defeat, making a zipping motion over your mouth. “Before I could ask you out, you moved away, and I thought I would never see you again. I thought I would never have the chance to ask you out. But that was until you came back. All the emotions I thought were gone over the years came back with one look into your eyes.” He sighs, nervously running a hand through his hair. “I feel like I’m finally good enough for you, Y/n. So, will you go on a date with me?”

You stop walking, mouth agape and eyes wide. This is what your twelve-year-old you was waiting for. The Na Jaemin asking you out on a date. But instead of feeling ecstatic, jumping into the air and screaming your lungs out, you felt sorry. The minute you met Jeno you knew that what you felt for Jaemin wasn’t even close to what real love would feel. The small crush couldn’t compare to actual feelings. And it didn’t change. Your heart is still beating fast, but not for Jaemin anymore.

“Jaemin, god, I feel so stupid.”, you start saying, not knowing how to put your thoughts into words.

“There’s someone else, right?”, he asks, making you look up to him with wide eyes. “Mark told me about it. But he said that you told him there wasn’t anyone, so I thought I could try my luck. Apparently, luck isn’t on my side.”

“I’m so sorry.”, you start to apologies, but Jaemin just shakes his head, waving his hand in the air.

“Don’t apologies for your feelings, or the lack of those. It’s okay. I mean it sucks, but rejection is part of life.” He nods, trying to convince himself more than you.

You stand there, silence surrounding the two of you. Jaemin looks at you after a few seconds, a small smile on your lips. “Whoever he is, I hope he is treating you the way you deserve to be treated.”

You nod at his words, trying not to let the tear that’s threatening to leave your eye go.

“And if you ever find yourself in the situation where he isn’t there taking up all your thoughts, I’ll be waiting for you. Until you’re ready for me.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

“Jaemin asked me on a date.”, you tell Jeno after you two laid down on the cold rock, watching the stars.

“Oh really?”, Jeno asks, not lifting his head from where it lays on your lap. You’ve been playing with his hair for almost ten minutes, enjoying the silky feeling of it between your fingers. Jeno has his eyes closed, basking in the closeness of you. The moment you stepped foot on your rock, he latched onto you. One body part always having to be connected to you in some way. You don’t want to complain, enjoying how openly clingy he is, but something inside of you has a weird feeling.

It’s been lingering in the air for a while now. Like both of you know something big will happen, but none of you want to address it. None of you want to face the obvious elephant in the room. It’s like you know that as soon as the words leave your mouth, it’ll change everything.

“What did you tell him?” The question leaves his lips in a whisper. One part of him fears he might hear you agreeing to the human boys’ proposition, but the other part wishes you would. It would make things easier for him, a lot easier.

“I told him I can’t.”, you say it as if you’re stating an obvious fact. But to Jeno it isn’t obvious. He doesn’t understand it. Why would you choose to stay with him? A merman who will never be able to give you the life you want. It’s not like he can grow a pair of legs and join you in your town. He has a tail, and his place somewhere else. He has responsibilities, such big ones that there is no way around them.

“You should go on a date with him.” As these words leave his mouth, the world stops turning for a second. The sounds stop, no more waves crashing against the shore, no more birds chirping in the sky. It’s quiet, just a dead dreadful silence.

“Why would you say that?”, you whisper, not trusting your voice. You tug softly on Jenos’ hair wanting him to open his eyes and look at you, but he refuses. He tightly squeezes his eyes together because he knows seeing your expression would kill him. Jeno saw it last time, your shoulders sinking, face drained of all color, and eyes filling with so much sadness. He can’t endure that another time, he can’t have your face haunt him again.

“Maybe it would be better.”, he tries to hide the shakiness of his voice, not wanting you to see how much this affects him. “You know since he’s human. He could give you the life you want, the life you deserve. I can’t give you that.”

“Jeno, what are you talking about? You are making no sense.”, you push him off your lap, not wanting him that close when he talks such nonsense.

“I’m making sense. Think of it in a logical way. If you dated Jaemin you could have everything you want. You can see him at all times, go into town with him, travel with him. You can marry and have a family. You can let people see you. You wouldn’t have to stay awake until five in the morning to talk to a creature with a tail. You wouldn’t have to hide away your feelings anymore.”

You scoff, looking at the boy with a frown. “Jeno, don’t you think I know all of this? Don’t you think I know it would be easier to date someone that was human. But I’m still here. Even though I know all this, I still come here every night. Because I want you and no one else, Jeno. Love isn’t defined by a pair of legs, by who knows about it and who not, or by how much someone has to give up. Love means sacrifices, compromises, and agreements. It’s communication, honesty, and trust. It’s what you feel, not what others tell you to feel.”

Jeno hides his face in his hands, fighting not to break down. He is so close to letting it all out. The tears, the frustration. He wishes things could be different, for you both to exist in a world where you could actually be with one another.

Tomorrow he will be king of the town he grew up in. He will have to face bigger responsibilities. Responsibilities that are bigger than love. And he wishes to have just one part of his body, even if it is just a blood vessel, that could be selfish. But he can’t be. This is bigger than him, bigger than you. He can’t risk meeting you anymore, exposing his world and bringing his people in danger.

“I can’t, Y/n.”, he whispers quietly.

“Can’t what?”

“I can’t love you. I want to, but I can’t.” His hands shake violently, fighting every part of his body that wants to show weakness. “I will be king tomorrow. And I can’t lead them to danger.”

“Danger?”, you ask. “But I’m not dangerous. Jeno, I would never do or say anything.”

“I know.”, he speaks with more force. “I know you wouldn’t, but just meeting up with you is dangerous. The potential of someone seeing us, it could bring death to my whole town. You have to understand that it’s just too dangerous.”

“The only thing that’s dangerous is the ocean itself.”, you remark, looking down at the water. “Especially this ocean. It’s cursed.”

“Cursed?” Jeno looks up at you, confusion written all over his face. “How could our ocean be dangerous? It is so beautiful and mesmerising. It would never hurt you unless you hurt it first.”

“Explain that to the people going missing every year. All those fishers that visit our town, fishers that have lived in my town long before I was born. They go out on the ocean and disappear mysteriously. No one wants to go far into the ocean, worried that they will disappear as well. We’re scared of the cursed sea and grieving for those who we lost.”, you explain to him, but the older boy just shakes his head violently.

“Those fishers you’re talking about are threatening our existence. They are not here to explore the sea, they hunt us. They kill our people and threaten to expose our secret, we must do something to protect ourselves.”

You feel devastated, hearing such words coming from the boy you thought was sweet and kind. Never did you think he would support killing your kind, even if it means protection to his own. Isn’t it all about peaceful living within each other? Isn’t it about harmony, not war? Because if you start a war, it’s not going to end. By killing those fishers, they only achieve the opposite of what they want. They draw attention to them, making even more people curious about the mystery of the ocean, of the curse. You can’t believe there is no curse.

“I grew up getting told to never enter the ocean around our town alone. To never go past my knees into the water. To be careful not to cross the protection line they drew for the once who go for a swim. I grew up afraid of what would happen once I got out there. Up until I was twelve, I couldn’t even come close to the shore, afraid of what might wait for me. Town people found ship recks, pairs of shoes and even necklaces of the people who went missing. Some even said they heard screams late at night, but when they went looking there was no one there.” When you look at Jeno there is no compassion in your eyes, remembering what growing up here meant for you. “Shortly before I moved away a little girl went missing. Two days later they found her hair clip washed up on the shore. What did that little girl do to you?”

“She saw my brother.”, Jeno whispers.

“She was nine years old.” Your voice is loud, filled with frustration and skepticism. “Even if she told anyone, no one would have believed her. The same way no one believed me when I told them about you. What would you have done about that? Kill me too?” Jeno stays silent, not daring to answer the sarcastic question you asked. It makes you stop breathing for a few seconds, shoulders sinking. “You wanted to kill me?”

“No.”, he answers. “Maybe. I don’t know. I was scared at first, okay? You saw me and you could have easily told all the fishermen. What if they sent an army down to our kingdom and all because I wasn’t careful?” There is an edge in his voice, like his breaking point is coming soon. “But when I saw you again that next day, I couldn’t bring myself to. You were just so small and harmless. You shined brighter than the stars and your eyes were filled with a curiosity I could only return. I was never that close to a human before, having just watched them from afar. I wanted to know more about you and then I fell in love. Hard and unconditionally. More than a fifteen-year-old should have.”

You shake your head, his words breaking your heart into a million pieces. “Maybe you’re right.” As Jeno previously, you press your lips together, hiding the sob that threatens to leave your lips. You don’t want him to see you cry. Not after everything you found out. “Maybe I should go on that date with Jaemin.”

When you look at Jeno after saying those words, you can see his heart breaking. His eyes gloss over and his whole body sinking into itself. But eventually he nods his head. “Yeah, you should.”

You shakily sigh, looking at the ocean in front of you, passed the horizon where the unknown lays. “So, that’s it?”, you ask him, silent tears streaming down both of your faces. “This is the end of us?”

Jeno clears his throat, wiping away the saltiness on his cheeks. He allows himself to have this moment. This one last moment with you, basking in the comfort of your presence. He allows himself one selfish moment with you just for a few more seconds. Jeno listens to your rapid breathing, enjoying the warmth your skin radiates even though you sit a few steps away from him. When he closes his eyes, he can still feel the roughness of your fingertips stroking his back, your lips engulfing his in a gentle kiss, and your weight on his body, feeling like a warm blanket. One last time, he thinks back to the gentle words you exchanged, the confessions you made, the secrets you shared. He treasures them in a box deep inside his heart, locking it away.

When all that is done, he opens his eyes again, turning his face to look into your waiting eyes. “That’s it. That’s the end.”

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A broken heart. A metaphor for the intense emotional stress or pain one feels at experiencing great loss or deep longing. Mark told you that similar to death, there are five stages of heartbreak. Denial, bargain, depression, and acceptance. If you judged it yourself, you would say you’re in the depression stage. You want to be alone, sit in your tiny apartment and eat your sadness away with ice cream. You don’t want the boys to come around all the time, forcing you to go outside and get ‘a change of scene’. They think it helps you, but all it does is remind you of what you can’t have. You see couples roaming the streets, holding hands, and laughing with each other. You see their happiness and all you feel in envy. You want that, you want that so bad, but you can’t have that. Not with the one person you want to have it with.

“I can’t see this anymore.”, Mark speaks up after watching you poke around your favorite dish. The cherry pie. You can’t believe that a few weeks ago, the thought of this pie excited you so much that you couldn’t wait to wake up the next day and taste the sweet flavor on your tongue. But now you can’t stand the cake. The cake tastes bland, lost all its sweetness. Its taste resembles your emotions. “This is your favorite, and you can barely even look at it. You know, I thought bringing you hear would cheer you up, but clearly, I was wrong.”

Mark puts down the rag he used to clean the counter, taking off his apron and making his way to you. He sits down beside you, grabbing your hands and turning your face so you look right at him. “Listen to me. I know, you don’t want to talk about what happened and only a fool wouldn’t be able to see what is going on.” He sighs, trying to find the right words. “And as much as I want to find the person that made you feel this way and make them regret it, I also still remember how happy you were. You never shined as brightly as you did in the time that you spent with them. I could see how loved you felt, and as your best friend, I never wanted to see you differently again. But as your best friend, I also have to be honest with you. It can’t go on like this. You are hurting yourself even more with your behavior and I can’t keep watching you do that.”

You lower your gaze, knowing deep down that what your friend is saying is right. But you’re helpless. You don’t know what to do to change things. How to stop the pain you’re feeling. If you did, you would have done it by now. “I don’t know how to.”

Mark shows you a sympathetic smile, squeezing your hands gently. “That’s what I’m here for. Whenever you’re stuck and you need a helping hand, I’m here.” You nod at him teary eyed, appreciating having a friend like Mark in your life. “Either you move on, find a way to cope with it. Even move away again if you have to. Just for a while to get away from all the bad memories. Or you confront the person once more, talk it out and hopefully then make peace with the situation.”

“I don’t think he wants to talk to me.”, you tell Mark, sadness filling your eyes once again at the thought of Jeno.

“Then make him. If he loves you, the way I hope he does, he will listen to you. He will let you have this one last conversation so you can have peace.”

“You really think so?”, you ask him, hope gleaming in your words. Mark nods his head eagerly.

“Yes, I know so.”

“Thank you, Mark. Thank you for always being there for me, even when I act like a sulky baby.”

That makes Mark let out a chuckle, happy to at least see a glimpse of the normal you back. “That’s what best friends are here for, Sunshine.”

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The waves are calm at this time around. The sun having just set a few minutes ago, still tinting the sky in its beautiful colors. It’s almost like a scene out of a movie. And for the first time, you don’t feel scared of the ocean as you take place on the big rock. For the first time you appreciate the beauty of it, even though you know the truth about it.

“I don’t know if you’re here, Jeno. I don’t know if you can even hear me. But if you really love me, the way you told me, you will listen to me now. I want to have one more chance to talk to you again. I can’t leave you behind like this. I know that I will regret it and I know that you will regret it as well.” Silence, nothing but silence surrounds you. “I’m sorry for not showing sympathy for you and your people. I know that you just do what is right to protect yourself, but I still stand by my opinion that it’s not the right thing to do. I will never support those actions, but I’m trying to show more comprehension for your situation. I’m sorry for getting so emotional and not listening to you as I should have. I was stubborn, but so were you. I think that’s one thing we have in common. And I’m sorry for making it so hard for you to let me go. I understand now that whatever we have was doomed to end at some point. We are different, way too different to work out. I built this picture of us in my head. I lived in my own bubble and when that bubble burst, I didn’t want to accept that. I wanted to live a life where the two of us could be together, grow old together. And for a moment, it felt like that could happen. For a moment I was caught up in my own delusions, not wanting to let go. But I know now. I know that what you did was for the better and I’m not mad at you. You chose the right thing, and I couldn’t be prouder of you.”

You see the familiar silver shimmering of a tail appearing right above the surface of the water. This is your sign. You step out of the clothes you wear, a bikini underneath it. Climbing down the rock, you feel the warmth of the water meeting your cool skin. The water welcomes you, engulfing you like a warm blanket, coddling you to sleep. Jeno meets you in the water, wrapping his arms around you and nestling his head in your neck. He doesn’t say anything for a while, just enjoying having you close again.

“Thank you for telling me all that.”, he mumbles, head not moving an inch from where it’s buried. Lifting a hand, you gently play with the hair in his nape.

“It’s my pleasure, my king.” He scoffs at your words, but you can feel his smile against your skin. Jeno lifts his head, looking in your eyes once more. “I still don’t want to live a life where you aren’t in it.”

Your confession doesn’t budge his smile. Instead, he gently lifts his hand, tugging a wet strand of hair behind your ear. “I have a proposition for you. Becoming a king means that you can never be selfish. You have to give and give and give and accept that you rarely get anything back in return. You have to be selfless, caring about the wellbeing of your people. But every once in a while, we should be selfish. We should take what we want and take a risk.” You don’t know where he’s going with what he’s saying, not making any sense yet. “How about once a year we meet up. Right here on our rock. We talk, we spend the night together and then part ways again until the next year. In that way the risk will be lower, but we can still live a life that involves the other person.”

“And when shall that be?”, you ask him softly.

“May 24th.”, he answers, a knowing smile on his lips.

“The day we first met.”, you recall the distant memory. It lures a grin out of you, remembering how small you once were. How innocent and unknowing of how much this small encounter will change your lives. Jeno just nods, having the same small flashback as you do.

“Will I see you next year on the 24th?”, he asks, hope glinting in his eyes. And with the way he is looking at you, it’s hard to say no.

“I’ll be there.”, you promise him, leaning closer until your noses touch. “I won’t leave again.”

And for the last time the two of you close your eyes and let your lips meet in a sweet kiss. Locking the promise of a see you again. Even if it means you have to wait a year.

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Seven months have passed and while the bitter taste of leaving Jeno still lingers in your mouth, you don’t feel your heartbreaking anymore. You feel hopeful, ready to start a new chapter of your life.

So, when you enter ‘Flora’ with a determination to start this new life, there is not one part of you that feels nervous. You’re sure of your decision, having had months to think about it. Now it’s your turn to choose happiness, to guide yourself into the life you deserve. Because that’s not only what Jeno wants for you, that’s what you want for yourself as well.

You walk through the store, inhaling the sweet scent of the flowers and taking in the sea of colors. You always felt like you belong here, right in this store. It pulled you towards it, ever since you were a child. And only recently have you realized why. When you spot what you’ve been searching for, your heart skips a beat. But it feels right. Never has anything felt so right in your life.

Sensing a presence, Jaemin turns around from where he was watering the flowers. Shock written on his face as he spots you, having just seen you two hours ago.

“Y/n?” He says your name like it’s his favorite melody. Like it’s the only word he repeats before going to bed. Like it’s what gives him the energy to live. “Is everything okay?”

You nod at him, taking a few steps forward. Over the months Jaemin has never left your side. Always making sure you eat enough, taking you out to distract you and even buying you new books whenever you finish one. He was the person you desperately needed in the time of your sorrow. He was and still is the person you deserve. You gradually noticed your fast beating heart whenever he was around you. The way your cheeks would become a deep red shade whenever he complimented you. And how you couldn’t stop thinking about him. But you had to wait. You had to wait until you were over Jeno. Until your heart has healed, put itself back together.

“Remember when you told me that if I find myself in a situation where he isn’t there anymore to take up all my thoughts? And that you will wait for me until I’m ready?” Jaemin nods, mouth hanging open, waiting for your next words.

“I’m finally ready for you.”

Bonus scene

Saying bye to Jaemin with a gentle kiss on his lips, you make your way to the beach. It’s sunny around this time, summer slowly showing its face. You enjoy the sun again, after a long dreadful winter. It feels like a reward after having to wear hoodies and sweatshirts for a long time. Now you can put on your cutest sun dresses again, go to the beach with Jaemin and Mark and live a little. Jaemin and you even planned a little trip to Italy, wanting a change of scene after so much happened in your lives.

You can hear a small yawn from the baby seat you are holding. Looking down you see your two-month-old daughter slowly opening her eyes, waking up from her nap. Smiling as you see her little face scrunched up, not ready to leave the dream land yet. “It’s okay, baby. You can sleep some more.” You can see her calm down after hearing your voice, closing her eyes again.

Shortly after last year’s meet up with Jeno, Jaemin and you found out you’re pregnant. It was a shock at first, not having planned such a thing to happen three years into your relationship. But that didn’t stop you from being excited about it either. Even though you hadn’t planned it to happen, it felt like it was the right time. That got confirmed the second you saw your daughter in the arms of her father. Jaemin loves her, and he’s not afraid to show it. Carrying her around at all times, talking to her like she can understand him. Sometimes he just stops and stares at her with this look in her eyes, like he can’t believe she’s real.

As you get closer to the rock, you can already see the silhouette of Jeno. You don’t know how he will react to the little baby, but you wanted to show her to him. Envolve him into the happiness she had brought your ever since she was born.

When you see him turn around, you can see the hesitation in his eyes as he spots the baby seat. Carefully trying to get a look, but not daring to get any closer. “Is that?”, he asks, unsure of how to phrase it.

“Yeah.”, you answer him with a big smile. “I found out shortly after our last meeting that I was pregnant, that’s why I didn’t tell you.”

He just nods, watching as you take a seat beside him, gently getting the small child out of her seat. Jeno doesn’t know what to say, or what to do. All he can do is observe you. He notices the constant smile on your lips, your eyes filling with so much pride as you look at your baby. You’re a mother, he realizes. And that title has never fit anyone better than you.

“You want to hold her?”, you ask him, giving him an encouraging nudge. And as much as he would like to decline the offer, scared he might do something wrong, part of him is tempted to do it. Just for a few minutes he wants to be selfish. He wants to know what it feels like to sit beside you, having a child in his arms, imagining it was his. He wants to know what it could feel like to have a future with you. A future in which everything is possible. In which he can be who he chooses to be, love who he wants to love. A future that involves you and him. Marrying, having children, and growing old together. He’s been dreaming about that a lot more lately, as if his head was telling him all along that you were expecting a child. He’s been longing a lot more as well recently. Longing for you, your touch, your voice, even just your bare presence. And he’s been making wishes a lot more as well. Wishes to be able to change everything, to leave his life behind and join yours again. Just for a few moments, he wants to feel like all those things could actually come true.

So, he nods at you, letting you place the small being in his arms. Her head rests comfortably against his chest, and you two hear her sigh, as if she found her place. As if she claimed him, and never wants to sleep anywhere else but his chest.

“Someday.”, Jeno speaks up, eyes leaving your child and meeting yours. “Someday in another life this could be us.” Jeno looks at you as if you’re his world. As if you picked the stars from the sky only for him. As if he can’t live without you. “In another life we can be happy together, having a family of our own. And I can’t wait for that other life to come.”

#lee jeno #lee jeno x reader #lee jeno imagine #lee jeno imagines #lee jeno fluff #lee jeno nct #lee jeno nct dream #nct dream imagines #nct dream x reader #nct dream fanfic #nct dream x y/n #jeno fanfic #jeno x reader #jeno imagines #jeno fluff #jeno x y/n

[midnight-talescape]

𝑀𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒮𝓁𝒶𝓋𝑒 (𝒯𝑜𝒿𝒾 𝓍 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇)

Kinktober Day 8: Breeding + Master and Slave

Just the thought of Toji being technically own by you but he absolutely refused and fuck the living daylights out of you is a tempting thought.

Also running out of title name

Warning: master and slave, breeding, ooc etc, etc you get the point not for kid

Genre: filthy filthy smut

Word Count: 2133

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You were walking past the training ground when you heard a commotion.

Turning around you saw a group of people surrounding someone older than you but definitely still…

Actually, is that a kid? He looks young but he’s so freaking tall?!

You were snapped out of your confusion when you saw the group of people lunging toward the kid/adult.

Your eyes widened and were about to try to do something when you suddenly froze. The person laughed before in a few quick movements took down everyone else.

“W-what?” you mumbled out very confused,

In your limited child brain, you cannot comprehend what just happened and how a single person can beat up that many peoples.

You tugged on the sleeve of the adult next to you before pointing toward the person and opened your mouth….

A few moments later you were holding onto Toji's hand and sitting in the backseat of your car.

Toji scowled as he tried to throw your hand off of him,

“Let go, brat.”

You shake your head refusing to let go as you look at him and say defiantly,

“They said you belong to me now, you’re mine and you have to listen to me,”

Scoffing Toji looked out the window as he was taken away from the place he grew up and despised to being the equivalent of a slave to a child…

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(Years later you are both grown up now)

Throughout the years Toji still treats you like an annoying burden, while you cling to him.

To you the logic here was simple, he belongs to you so it's only natural if you stay near him.

After all what if someone comes and takes your property?

Nodding, the logic making sense in your brain as you run to hug Toji, distracting him from working out.

He tsk as he pulled you away from him,

“How are you still this clingy even after all these years?”

You pouted as you dived back into his arm,

“You belong to me, of course I can cling to you anytime I want”

Toji rolled his eyes as he let you cling to him, you didn't see the dark look in his eyes as you hugged him, a desire for you that Toji would never show you because you would take his attention and run with it.

“Now get off of me I have a mission to go onto later.”

You huffed as you removed yourself from his arm and sat on the side as you watched his body glisten under the sun.

After a while, you remembered something and waved at Toji to get his attention,

“Hm?” Toji glances over at you, as he moves closer. “What is it?” He looks down, raising an eyebrow as he studies you intently,

“I'm getting engaged,” you said nonchalantly figuring he should probably know that since you will be bringing him with you,

Toji narrows his eyes. “Engaged?*” He asks in an irritated voice, his brow furrowing. “Who's the unlucky bastard?”

Despite the way he said that, he was ready to kill your future fiance. He doesn't care about anything in this world, but you belong to no one but him.

You shrugged, you had no idea who you were going to marry. Honestly, you don't care either, even as a child you knew you were going to end up marrying someone that you don't know. Anything for the sake of the family, this is the fate of being the daughter of a strict sorcerer's family.

Toji's lip curled into a snarl, he was beyond pissed.

You belong to him, you’re his and no one else.

Toji growls, folding his arms on his chest once he regained some composure.

“Political and everything. Typical of your family.”

As he said that he turned around and began to leave.

You grabbed his sleeve and asked,

“Where are you going Toji?”

He pushed your hand off of him before saying,

“I'm going to go do something…”

As he said that he headed out seething with murderous rage.

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It's been a few days and Toji was yet to be seen, you were starting to get a little worried.

What if he got hurt? You would hate to have your property damaged

Just as you lay in your bed trying to sleep, you heard someone walking toward your room. Alarmed you sat up and just as you were about to attack the intruder, your hand was caught in midair.

Toji leaned down toward you his breath warm on your face as he said,

“A bit feisty tonight aren't we?”

You looked up finally recognizing him,

“Toji? Where the fuck have you been? You can't just leave me like that?!”

You glared at him as you sat on your bed, trying to get your point across.

Toji on the other hand only notices your shoulder and collarbone that is showing tantalizingly under the moonlight, as your shirt slips off your shoulder.

“I went to deal with something I should have done long ago”

“Deal with wha-” your question was cut off when Toji pushed you onto your bed roughly,

“What are you doing Toji?!” you yelled surprised,

Toji ignore your cry and began ripping your pajamas off of you, licking his lip as he looked at your bare body beneath him.

“Showing you who you belong to, you belong to me, (Y/N)”

You tried to push him back as you complained,

“I don't belong to you! I own you Toji, you’re mine, my property, and my servant!”

Toji grinned as he pulled you into a kiss, his calloused hand rummaging across your body and your eyes widened as you moaned into the kiss.

Toji nipped your lower lip drawing blood before pulling away from the kiss, the taste of your blood on his lip driving him feral.

His hand groped your breast and he pinched your nipple drawing out a loud gasp from you, before leaning down to take your nipple into his mouth.

Your back arched upward pushing your breast into his mouth as your brain begins to get fuzzy with lust.

After a while Toji let go of your breast, licking his way down towards your already soaking cunt.

“For the daughter of a sorcerer family, you sure are a slut, (Y/N)”

You let out a sob as your thigh clenched around his head. Your hand dug into his hair as he slipped his tongue into your wet folds,

“S-shut up, Toji!”

Toji hand dig into your thigh as his tongue fucked into you, your sob getting louder as you felt your orgasm coming fast and hard.

You let out a scream as you came, soaking the bedsheet under you and Toji's faces.

Smirking Toji removed his head from between your legs to pull you into another kiss. His tongue slipped into your mouth still coated in your juice.

You gagged as his tongue was shoved into your mouth, your mouth filled with the taste of your fluid.

Toji used one of his hands to choke your neck as he continued to violate your mouth. The saliva you can't swallow dripped down your chin as tears started to slide down your face.

Eventually, you guys broke apart, your lip swollen and red. Toji's hand didn't let go of your neck as he leaned down toward your ears and whispered,

“I'm going to fuck you till your body remembers the shape of my cock…”

As he began to spread your leg again, shuddering you gripped his shoulder.

He looked up at you questioning.

You sniffed before saying stubbornly,

“I own you… I should be on top…”

“Ha?” Toji said confused before shrugging and flipping you guy's position so you are now straddling him, “Then go ahead, master~”

Shuddering you fumbled with his belt and when you finally pulled down his pant, his raging erection nearly slapped you in the face.

Your body freezes as you look at his erection, suddenly unsure of what you are about to do.

Will that even fit inside you?

Sensing your hesitation, Toji grinned lazily as he looked at you, his eyes having a hunger inside him,

“Scared, master? I thought you own me?” He taunted, egging you on,

You glared at him before taking a deep breath and positioning his cock at your wet fold.

Slowly you begin to lower your body down and you stopped as you took in the head of his cock inside you. Your body shuddered and your eyes burned as you tried to adjust your body around his thick cock.

As you took several deep breaths your body trembling, you hiccuped as you began to lower yourself again. Panting and sobbing as you felt yourself begin to stretch uncomfortably so around his cock.

Toji let out several groans as he felt your wall clenching around his cock tightly.

“Fuck, your body is meant for this, master. If you ever run out of money, you will make good money with your body…”

“I will n-never run out of money…” you whined as you stopped halfway down his cock, feeling it pushing against your cervix,

Sensing your refusal to go down anymore Toji tsk before thrusting his hip upward and you let out a scream as your leg gave out and you fell directly onto his cock, drawing out a moan from both of you.

You sobbed violently as his cock broke into your womb. Your body clenched tightly around his cock as you came around his cock. His abs now sticky with your juice.

“W-why did…haaaa… you do that… hic… that hurt….so full…”

Toji smirked looking at your trembling sobbing form in malicious delight.

“What? I thought you could take it. I thought you owned me master, but are you so weak you can't even take the cock of your slave?”

“F-fuck you… haaa. I-I can take it…ughhh… I can take y-your stupid cock…” you gasped out as you started bouncing yourself on his cock,

Each time you bounced on his cock was painful, your leg shaking under you as your upper body leaned onto Toji torso.

Impatiant Toji begin to snapped his hip upward, his thrust meeting you each time you lower yourself onto him.

You let out loud whine and sob each time you guys body met, the room filled with the noise of your crying, Toji’s groan, and the sound of skin on skin.

After a while your body spasmed as you came around Toji cock again, your body shuddering as you collapse onto Toji’s abs tired and daze.

Seeing your tired body Toji rolled his eyes before flipping you onto the bed switching you guys position.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as his cock twisted in your body, moaning loudly as your body shuddered.

Pressing your leg to your chest into a mating press before he started pounding into you relentlessly.

You screamed and pleaded as he pounded into you, the position allowing him to plunge deep inside your body. You can feel his cock in your stomach and you can see the bulge everytime he thrusted into you.

“S-stop.. too fast… haaaaa…. S-stop i c-command you…” you babbled out your eyes watery with tears,

“Your command means nothing to me… im going to breed you, master… im going to stuff you full of my cum…” Toji said as his thrust get sloppy,

“N-no… y-you cant cum inside me… I-i dont want to… Stop!” You yelled struggling in futile under Toji body,

Toji laughed at your screaming and with a final thrust came inside of you, filling him with his cum and watch gleefully as your stomach bulge out from his cum.

Leaning down with a smirk looking at your teary and dazed face he ask,

“How does it feel being bred by someone as lowly as me?”

You sobbed as you choked out,

“I-im getting en-engage… hic… what-what if i g-get pregnant from this…”

Toji pulled you into his lap, his cock still hard and inside you as he chuckled darkly,

“Dont worry, master… I killed the man you were supposed to married… if your looking for a good bloodline, you might as well marry me… you cant say no either way, you belong to me…”

Your body shuddered as he begin to thrust inside you again, trembling you leaned your head against the crook of his neck.

“T-they will kill you… they will hunt you down, Toji…”

Toji laughed as he slammed your body onto his cock again,

“They can try…but im stealing you away with me… after all you own me and I cant exactly leave you here can I?”

Any of your thoughts and opinion was fucked out of you as he drag you into another round of sexual desire….

#no i don’t have problems #reader insert #reader smut #x reader #kinktober #kinktober 2023 #toji x reader #toji x y/n #toji x you #toji smut

[authoralexharvey]

INTERVIEW WITH A WRITEBLR — @sleepyowlwrites

Who You Are:

M.J || She/her

I'm a relentlessly optimistic affectionate creative who will impart love to the world through whatever means possible, and this includes my writing. And it shows, because all my kids are either full of love or in desperate need of it.

What You Write:

What genres do you write in? What age ranges do you write for?

Action, Adventure, Contemporary, Fanfic, Fantasy, Poetry. Young and New Adult.

What genre would you write in for the rest of your life, if you could? What about that genre appeals to you?

Fantasy, it's always been fantasy. Even my contemporary pieces have trace elements of fantasy in them. I like having rules in my worlds, but ones that I made up instead of science or society.

What genre/s will you not write unless you HAVE to? What about that genre turns you off?

Romance. I sometimes think about trying it, but I quickly turn away. There's nothing about romance that is fulfilling in a way that I couldn't find elsewhere. It's just not enough for me. I want everything else, everything in the wider love spectrum, all the kinds I personally treasure in my own life.

Who is your target audience? Do you think anyone outside of that would get anything out of your works?

Anybody, but especially people who have emotions that refuse to be processed. I'm hoping to help them process those emotions through the lens of character. If a reader isn't ready for striking combinations of whimsy and weight, or unexpected feelings, then they might not jive with my stories.

What kind of themes do you tend to focus on? What kinds of tropes? What about them appeals to you?

Mental illness, friendship, hurt/comfort, the mortifying ordeal of being known, purpose, trauma, personal choices, siblings, raw depths of emotions, and shenanigans. One of these is not like the other. I like to put relatable qualities in fantastical realms and make it intimate. I want you to indulge, and I want you to think.

What themes or tropes can you not stand? What about them turn you off?

Romanticized abuse or toxic relationships, romanticized mental illness or disabilities, fake redemption arcs, poorly realized characters or cheap twists, and sex. I'm entirely uninterested in sex. There are too many things I dislike to think of them now that I've been asked, but they're just preference. Don't backtrack on character growth for the sake of drama, please.

What are you currently working on? How long have you been working on it?

That's a trick question. I work on multiple projects at once because that's what my brain prefers. My longest wip is 10 months old and my oldest is almost 7 years.

Why do you write? What keeps you writing?

I've always talked my thoughts aloud to make them make sense - my adhd doesn't think in sentences, so it can get very jumbled in my brain - and stories are an additional way of explaining the world or people to myself, or explaining myself to other people, or of explaining nothing but exploring the unnamed. I write because I feel these things anyway. Might as well share them.

How long have you been writing? What do you think first drew you to it?

Since I was 9, so 20 years ago. The same reason as above, and also my mom said I was talented. I was decidedly untalented in various other areas, so I jumped on that talent and went for it. I do still think I'm talented but I'm a good writer because I kept at it. I have the skills now to back up the talent. It’s very gratifying.

Where do you get your inspiration from? Is that how you got your inspiration for your current project? If not, where did the inspiration come from?

Anywhere, and I really mean it. I can't tell you how many times I've been sitting at a stoplight, or cleaning, or watch Chicago Med with my mom bemoaning the horrible writing and poof! Idea. It just comes to me. Little bit gift, little bit curse, really.

What work of yours are you most proud of? Why?

Hard to say. Everything. The ones that barely exist and the ones that don't make sense anymore. The poetry from 2010 that is simply terrible. The ones from 2020 that are full of grief. The stories that change form but won't leave me alone. The ones I just invented. I'm proud of of it for impacting me, the audience I write for first.

Have you published anything? Do you want to?

No. Yes? It's not the only end goal like when I was 14. It's an idea I like to entertain. I'm currently happy just to be writing along with work.

What part of the publishing process most appeals to you? What part least appeals to you?

I'd like to self-publish first, and that means learning and doing new things, which I hate. I'm 29 and I still hate it. The upside would be more control, the downside would be more control.

What part of the writing process most appeals to you? What part is least appealing?

Least appealing is finishing. Most appealing is starting and middling. I'm also afraid of worldbuilding because it tends to squash my writing drive for some reason? I'm working on it.

Do you have a writing process? Do you have an ideal setup? Do you write in pure chaos? Talk about your process a bit.

It's pure chaos. I rubber duck until sentences settle like dew in the morning, and then I sometimes collect it to make tea, and sometimes I just watch it evaporate. Both activities are important. I write until I find a plot, and if I cannot find one, I will let the tea sit and grow mold. Sometimes I have to throw it out. Sometimes I recycle, plant flowers, and grow new stories. It's chaos. I love it.

Your Thoughts on Writeblr:

How long have you been a writeblr? What inspired you to join the community?

2018 - I converted from a kpop blog - I wanted to get back into writing original fiction again, and I wanted my writeblr to be my main. So. I did that.

Shout out some of your favorite writeblrs. How did you find them and what made you want to follow them?

How. Am I supposed to pick. Some? I found everybody from following a few people and seeing who they followed. I usually follow on a whim, and then make friends after. @zmwrites, @akindofmagictoo, @blind-the-winds, @oh-no-another-idea, @ink-fireplace-coffee, @avrablake, @chayscribbles, @mel-writes-with-her-dragons, @artbyeloquent, @writing-is-a-martial-art, @ashen-crest, I have at least 80 more people I could mention

What is your favorite part about writeblr?

Making friends and adopting each other's blorbos! And reading some truly excellent stories, obviously.

What do you think writeblr could improve on? How do you think we can go about doing so?

Initiate interaction. If you want asks, send some, if you want tags, tag people, if you want readers, read stuff. There's no guarantee of reciprocity - I'm often too tired to respond enthusiastically even when I'm happy to see a post - but the more we engage, the more we are engaging. Wow, I'm a writer.

How do you contribute to the writeblr community? Do you think you could be doing more?

I try to send asks whenever I see people asking, I post prompts lists and invent tags. I start conversations and make friends that way. I could be doing more, but it’s a balance between doing more and not breaking my boundaries. I talk to people all day at work and expend social energy. As an introvert, I have to not overreach or I get anxiety and burnout. Life's a balancing act, and writeblr is no exception.

What kinds of posts do you most like to interact with?

Tag games? It liberally depends on the day. I struggle the most with reblogging others' writing. But I'm getting better!

What kind of posts do you most like to make?

Writing memes or relatability, or new tag games.

Finally, anywhere else online we may be able to find you?

Not anywhere that I use frequently.

#iwaw #writeblr celebration #writeblr event #writeblr #writing community

[prettyoddfever]

why are you so against ryden

I'm literally only pointing out why specific examples of "Ryden proof" don't work, or were misinterpreted by people who don't know much about the band. If me being pro-reality means that you consider me anti-Ryden then, uh… you might want to examine that more.

As long as we're on this topic, I'm going to expand on an older post here and go off on a tangent:

I actually loved the Ryden part of the fandom in the pre-split days! Ryden felt like a fandom-wide inside joke that united so many fans and sparked so much creativity (sometimes it reminded me of inventing bs symbolism in english & art classes lol). I didn’t read the slash, but it’s not like those kids stayed exclusively over in their communities… they were everywhere. A lot of my favorite accounts were massive Ryden fans & fic authors. but even the most die-hard shippers in 2006 & 2007 would scoff if new fans asked if they were ever being serious with their comments. It was all just entertaining wish fulfillment done to amuse themselves. They would act like it was a legit alternate reality and write long funny primers & posts like “look guys, they are in love. this is facts… here I go with my proof," but when it came down to whether or not they actually thought it was real… no, of course not. The fanfic authors were the first to laugh and say they weren’t hurting anyone because nobody actually believed Ryden was real and everyone was on the same page. They argued that every single band had a slash community and it just came with the fame. Some fans genuinely wanted Ryden to be real, while others thought it was entertaining how you could cherry-pick events & isolate them from any context to make Ryden look plausible. And both groups were taking matters into their own hands by trying to tie enough pictures & random dots together to make it look like a happy alternate reality that satisfied everyone. It was funny.

The majority of the pre-split fandom understood that Ryden wasn’t real, so people were on the same page when they shared their “proof.” It was like an inside joke. For example, I’ll argue that unicorns could be real because I know that the person I’m talking to is aware of reality. I can get as creative as I want and just have fun because we’re both on the same page… and the other person will be like “well yes of course they’re obviously real.” It looks like we agree. But that does not mean that we truly believe it lol... we're just bored & entertaining ourselves. Someone else who is unsure whether or not unicorns actually exist might read our convo and conclude that we are certain unicorns are real and have proof! But I never intended for my silly convo with my friend to be taken that seriously.

For me, Ryden was more about the fandom. It was just fun to see a picture or new moment and wait to see if anyone else spotted the same potential too. The slash accounts across different sites/forums would even make fun of themselves for how far they would go to make everything fit Ryden. At times it felt like an affectionate joke about the band and the fandom. 

I’d say the Ryden craze first took over with the huge surge of new fans during the summer 2006 tour (around the time Brendon & Ryan started fully going for the mic sharing each night). This was back when the band still read the forums and different fan sites and were trying to get a sense of what their fans were saying (such a bad idea lol). I was never totally clear on where the guys stood on Ryden in 2006 but it seemed like they were in on the joke… but it was so confusing at the same time. Like one minute they’d complain about the disgusting “pornfiction” in an interview and the next minute they’d be hamming it up for meet & greet pictures. Bden would practically hump Ryan’s leg during a show and then Ryan would suggestively run his hand up Bden’s thigh during a meet & greet exactly when he knew fans were watching… and then they’d both act like they didn’t get why fans ever came up with stories about them. I’m not saying their actions meant they were asking for something btw. I’m just saying that it’s equally true that the guys would claim they weren’t huge on Ryden and that they intentionally fueled the fire to get fans to laugh/scream at the right time. The band was super aware that the Ryden fans were a huge part of the fandom who drove a lot of the hype online… so it seemed like in late 2006 the guys were just trying to connect with a fanbase they were being quickly distanced from as they got more & more famous. Then in 2008 the guys intentionally added extra Ryden elements to their stage routine because they knew what a lot of fans still wanted to see.

So my conclusion was that it was all in good fun (except making suggestive comments to the band irl was horrible… people were even saying some seriously gross stuff to Zack about the boys and taking it waaaaay too far). During the lull of 2007, and even into 2008, there seemed to be a whole section of the fandom that was more invested in their fanfic communities than the irl band (they’d often come onto other boards & communities to ask for facts or details for their fanfics and watching the replies they got was like watching a really bad game of telephone haha so I’m guessing those plots diverged from reality pretty quickly). New fans were also being introduced to the band through fanfiction and seemed more intent on just spotting Ryden moments and learning the fanfic version of history rather than any real-life history. So by late 2008 there was definitely a small crowd who was taking Ryden more seriously and also understood less about the band. But I wasn't always sure if their tone was totally serious or not, because the joking posts had often been written in a serious tone too.

Side note on that: when I started this account in 2020 I hadn't thought about P!ATD much while I had been sick for years. I was just trying to throw myself back into the mindset of 2006 and rediscover a time when my world had been awesome & I was healthy. So when I saw all the sun/moon theories that had formed after I'd left the fandom I was like YES omg this is amazing. I lived for that kind of stuff. But then it was confusing how the same people who were currently posting all of the “ryden was real” stuff were the same ones who would quickly point out that another one of my Ryden posts wasn’t what really happened or that a photo manip that I considered fun was actually fake…  I mean, obviously??? I didn’t get why there was any difference between everything. It took me a few months to get a read on the current fandom and realize that things weren't being done in the same joking spirit. I started struggling to explain why I was posting Ryden-ish stuff if I didn’t necessarily believe what I was saying (and again I’m having a hard time explaining here because it never felt like the fandom was making up crap we didn’t stand behind back then! we were serious that we believed it was a darn good connection/theory or photoshop job haha). Ryden used to be like this shared alternate lens to view events through that felt like teamwork to create. We would intentionally pretend like years of full context didn't exist and create our own parallel narrative that could coexist with reality in our minds. But now it feels like people are sharing "Ryden proof" for real as though the piles of creative nonsense are an actual recap of historic events... and you need to pick some kind of "side" to believe? Idk, it's weird. I dropped any remaining nostalgia connected with Ryden content and ended up shifting the tone & focus of my account to organizing actual facts, media, and info about events I remember.

I don't think it's ok that moments in the band's history are often distorted or erased in order to pass off certain examples of “Ryden proof” as real now. It would be a shame for ridiculous Ryden stories to be prioritized as key info about the band while normal info about band members & events gets ignored now (ex: turning Northern Downpour into some kind of Ryden thing totally erases what Ryan wanted to do with the song). A lot of people have told me that they don’t care what actually happened because they prefer their ideas anyways. And that’s fine, as long as you’re aware that what you’re choosing doesn't track with reality. (Also, I always felt like knowing the real events or original photos from a manip gave me more appreciation for how creative people were… but I suppose that’s because Ryden was more about the fandom for me).

SIDE TANGENT: I drifted away from the fandom after summer 2009 when I got sick, so I don’t know specifically what happened over the next couple years to get so many fans who were impressively uninformed about the band yet super intense about Ryden at the same time... but I'm also not surprised I guess. Some knowledge about the band absolutely faded to the background in the last half of 2006 as the overwhelming amount of newer fans invented their own answers and were more interested in freaking out over cute guys than actually taking the time to learn about the band. The knowledge wasn't lost, it was just drowned out for a while in the midst of their enthusiastic chatter. It felt like a waste of time to correct them too because they were absolutely everywhere and they weren't really harming anyone by screaming things like Ryan took his mom as a date to the VMAs lol. Maybe there was a surge of younger fans by 2010-2011 who didn't have the context to know what they were looking at too, and were very enthusiastic about Ryden? I don't know. This is all purely speculation on my part.

I actually don't care whether anyone thinks Ryden was real or not... that's definitely not my focus and I'm not trying to convince anyone of a "side" either. You can conclude whatever you want. My focus in my posts is simply to provide context for some of the inaccurate stories & examples that are currently being passed around as though they're actual history. I don't expect anyone to care. But at least the info is still available for any younger fans who might be interested in the real-life band.

#ryden

[zagreuses-toast]

I come from a place of sheer curiousity and I just wanna ask genuinely- you say that you're a fan of 13s/ the chibnall era. Why? Doctor who is my favourite show and I've connected with every incarnation deeply and immediately, but have never been able to "click" with 13, despite my best efforts. What is it that you like about her? What is it that you like about chibnalls writing? I want to know and I want to like her/it too, but as of right now, I just... don't. Obviously you're not obligated to, but can you explain why?

Ok so this ended up being a Long Post, so I'm putting my response under the read more. Also I'm assuming you've actually watched the Chibnall era up to The Power of The Doctor, if you haven't then heads up for spoilers and stuff that might not make much sense without context.

Oh and I'm gonna @ @rearranging-deck-chairs and @ssaalexblake because I see their DW opinions all the time and they're really good and they can probably give more nuanced answers on some things. (Idk how well I did on explaining why I liked some of them, and it really is up to personal preference on some things)

Thirteen herself:

There are a lot of reasons I like Chibnalls era, but one of the biggest ones out the gate is definitely Jodie and her acting in the role of the Doctor. I think the way she balances bouncy gregariousness with the colder more angry and mean aspects of the Doctor is great. She does this thing where she can just make her eyes go dead and then smile like it's a threat, like she's gonna bite, especially when going up against villains. It's great. And Jodie herself is a delightful person.

Beyond just physical acting choices, I find the thirteenth Doctors struggle between her anger and secrecy, vs her desire to connect and her joy at life very very compelling. She keeps this distance that's really interesting I think, where she's genuinely attached to and trying to be a friend to the Fam, but still trying to keep her whole past out of the deal, which doesn't work that well, as we see in s12 and Flux. She's surrounded by death and haunted by the knowledge of how little time she has with her friends, (Grace, and she just came back from bill) but she still wants and needs that connection, and she learns to live in the present a bit. I made a whole post about her final regeneration speech here. I love her arc a lot even if it hurts. Also she's such a horrible hypocrite about so many things, which also makes her a fun character to rotate in my head and study like a bug. I do see it as being on purpose, some people seem to think it's just bad writing that she contradicts herself but imo that's a big part of her character.

Chibnalls writing:

I personally like the timeless child plot because :

There are a lot of stories and ideas in the Chibnall era I like, and a lot more I find very compelling. Whatever your opinions on the writing (and I definitely have had a lot of critique for some bits), there were a lot of ideas introduced that were fun and interesting. One of the weaker points of the era IMO is having so much fun stuff set up, but only shallowly or quickly exploring it, and then adding more stuff on top.

A lot of things didn't get the exploration/screen time I thought they deserved (especially characterization and interaction/dialogue wise). But that just gives my brain more to chew on at the end of the day, and I do love what was done during the seasons itself, not just all the potential stuff.

1) I can connect with it, I know Chibnall was coming at it from a place of being an adoptee, but as a native person the story of a kid taken and raised into an imperial/colonial society, who had their history stolen and their body exploited to further that societies ends, hits very close to home.

And 2) I have a "everything is true at once" approach to canon and I think the more origin stories we make for the Doctor the funnier it is.

This era had a lot of repeating themes, ideas that showed up and we're explored in a lot of different circumstances, often with a rule of 3 aspect to it. One is themes of Empire and Exploitation. Particularly through the stenza in s11 (empire using up planets, introduced to us basically doing foxhunts for clout, but with People instead of foxes), the dalek specials, the Cybermen in s12, and Division/the timelords in flux (as well as the sontarans &co).

Within that there's the repeating motif of how by exploiting people or their beliefs for power the imperial power/bad guys sew the seeds of their destruction. From Tzim Sha using the Ux and them turning against him, to the Division being destroyed by the Ravagers, who they tried to use to get rid of the Doctor/the old universe (and the doctor and even the master going rogue in the first place). Hell even Kerblam! (I know I know) Has a version, where the AI system being used to do terrible things is the one to call the doctor for help!

Another standout are themes of breaking cycles, Ryan is estranged from his dad and was distancing himself from Graham, but they both put in the work and grow extremely close over their two seasons. He also chooses to leave the TARDIS when he realizes he's absent from his friend's lives and wants to be present. And the Doctor gets to break the cycle of exploitation that Tecteun started, when she meets a vulnerable being with mysterious power (the energy being from TPOTD) she helps it free itself, on a way she wasn't helped.

Individual character stuff:

Going again into more individual character stuff I love, I've gotta give it to Sacha Dhawan for being a fucking superb Master. His acting is bonkers amazing and he does a great job portraying the sorta huge personal crisis the master is going through, and externalizing via evil schemes. At the end of Twelves run we saw Missy try to be like the doctor, to get her friend back (and even succeed a bit) but end up dying for it. Now we come back to a master who died trying to be like the person they see as their only equal, and has discovered (wrongly) that they were never equal to begin with, that the doctor is so much more than them. So he tries to make her like him instead, and If she won't become like him and kill them both along with the rest of gallifrey, then he will become her properly this time (by body snatching), ruin her legacy, and die with her eventually (overtaking her in the same way his whole existance has now been caused/overtaken by the doctor in his eyes, because of her being the source of regeneration)

Also can we talk about the Yaz?? I've been dying to talk about Yaz!!! I love her a lot and I find her fascinating, shes probably my favorite companion based on just sheer amount of time spent Thinking about her. Her doctorification/character arc is so good

Yaz is into the travelling and saving the day lifestyle the Doctor gives her for the responsibility of it all, for feeling useful and capable and good. Her early characterization Monet's include her complaining about not having more interesting jobs as a cop because she wants responsibility, she wanted to be important and helpful (that's the entire reason she became a cop, to help people like she was helped when she was in a dark place, and she finds a better way of doing that with the Doctor). And she GETS THERE, narratively and on a character level, she spends three years on earth with her own companions! She co-pilots the TARDIS and can fly her herself! She saves the day when the master steals the doctors body! And most of all SHES EXTREMELY SAD AT THE END BECAUSE THE PERSON SHE LOVES DIED BEFORE HER!! JUST LIKE THE DOCTOR !! (ugly crying) (I could write a whole other post about thasmin, good and bad, but a lot of people have put it better than me)

Also, I'm a big TARDIS girlie, she has somehow ended up being one of my favorite characters in doctor who, and the chinball era does so much fun stuff with the TARDIS!! Different writers take different approaches to the TARDIS, and how alive vs inanimate, or how active vs passive she is. I think the Chinball era had something special in terms of the way the TARDIS was depicted, and I loved it a lot. We never really get to see past the control room but it's a gorgeous control room! And throughout the era the TARDIS just feels so alive, it's always humming and beeping and chirping, I especially love the moments when the lights change color to match the doctors mood (mostly to blue, for sadness, sometimes red to yell at that dalek that one time). And speaking of the doctor, starting with ghost monument thirteen has a bunch of sweet moments of banter or just ~emotions~ with the TARDIS. I genuinely teared up a bit when she entrusted the timeless child memories to the TARDIS,and before her regeneration speech when she asked the TARDIS to look after her. Because who can she trust with her past AND her future except her oldest truest friend.

I could add a lot more of specific things from the era I love (solitract my beloved) but I think this is getting long enough as is lol.

#doctor who #thirteenth doctor #chibnall #jodie whittaker #flux #timeless child #dw #also sorry about answeing so late i forgot this in my drafts lol

[lifmera]

OH MY GOD I TYPED UP A WHOLE THING AND ACCIDENTALLY LOST IT OH MY FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOD I HATE IT HERE- anyways *ahem* attempt no. 2 of me asking you for a Hazbin Hotel match because I have never done this kinda thing before and I'm curious :)

GENDER AND SEXUALITY: I'm non-binary, they/he/she pronouns. I generally don't have a preference between the three tbh but I do appreciate ppl mixing it up! I'm sex-repulsed asexual and gray-biromantic. Again no real preference lmfao

APPEARANCE: White, dark blonde hair, green eyes, just below 5'3, pretty basic looking all things considered. I've got a pretty angular face I think. I'm afab and don't shave cuz it's too much work. I wear pretty much exclusively graphic tees(band shirts, dumb jokes, fandom stuff... that kinda thing) or button ups with funky patterns paired w/ the comfiest pants I can find, but occasionally I'll pull myself together enough to make a dencent(?) outfit, typically reminiscent of shit scene kids in the early 2000s would wear. I also like dying my hair but usually don't bcuz I procrastinate on it for too long.

PERSONALITY: If I had to describe it in one word? Unhinged. I am unhinged. 7/10 people will agree I am a very frightening person to be around. I say out of pocket shit(ranging from vile sex jokes to just straight up threats of violence) pretty regularly. I also like to sneak up on ppl and make very loud noises just to see their reactions... *ahem* anyways, despite all that, most of my friends would also describe me as caring and loyal! I have low empathy, so the only way I ever understand any of my friends emotions is by using my own experiences to compare and contrast until I have a decent idea of what's going on in their head, but I AM very good at psychoanalyzing people and providing objective, unbiased thoughts & advice on their situations. I would also literally go to war for my friends. Like, if you hurt one of them say your goddamn PRAYERS because I am coming to your location with a knife and murderous intent. I'm kinda awkward & shy at first, but at my core I AM an extrovert. I just don't know how to talk to ppl bcuz I am ✨neurodivergent✨(autism & ADHD) and have a hard time approaching ppl bcuz I don't know if they'll like me or not. Typically I make friends by making very loud jokes and waiting for somebody to approach me because they like my sense of humor. Which speaking of, I am very funny! Most people I interact with regularly would agree I am a very funny person!!! I'm also really good at media analysis and making arguments. I don't do well in debates because I choke under the pressure(gotta work on that tbh), but I'm good at writing argumentative essays. Plus, I'm pretty good at just bold face lying to people so overall I can be pretty damn convincing. I like adrenaline rushes and try to actively seek out new experiences as long as I'm confident they won't cause me any significant damage(socially or physically) in the long run. Which is unfortunately not many because I am INCREDIBLY paranoid. Like to the point of accidentally staying up til 3am cuz I'm convinced someone's gonna break into my house and kill me... I also have depression, severe dissociation issues, and existential dread which is. Fun. That's fun. I also have a tendancy to go down random rabbit holes and obsess over inconsequential details in shows I like to the point of making whole ass conspiracy theories :)

LIKES: Cartoons, drawing, writing, acting, singing, reading fanfic, watching YouTube, long drives, listening to music, jumpscaring ppl, being funny, ziplining, problem solving, video essays, ghost hunting shows, supernatural stuff in general, psychology, media analysis, frogs, sharks, ferrets, cats, violence, chocolate, Drawfee(YT channel), glitter, and just. So many fandoms. Just so many.

DISLIKES: Slimey shit, being touched(most of the time, there are occasional exceptions), being touch starved DESPITE not liking being touched, ppl insulting my interests(only I get to do that), media illiteracy, projects I'm not invested in, ppl putting preasure on me, mosquitoes, existential dread, dissociating, being tired all the time, being wrong, taking risks, feeling vulnerable, and stories with a lot of potential that just. Don't do anything with said potential.

PREFERENCES?: Uh. Someone significantly taller than me(shouldn't be hard Hazbin characters are fucking huge) that'll listen to my insane rants and is able to match my energy.

Akdncksmfnsmdsn I rlly hope I did this right again it's my first time doing anything like this-

HEYYYYYY!!! FINALLY GOT TO YOU 😜

Honestly I was debating on like a few different characters BUT!

I’ve decided to pair you with… LUTE!

Honestly I think she’d also be sex repulsed. She’s definitely more of a romantic lover! Though she doesn’t show it.

I think she talked to you at first because your style choices reminded her of Adam- and obviously, she misses him like crazy

If you did dye your hair often with her, she’d probably want to help you! I think she’d apply the color so it doesn’t get messy :)

She LOVES your personality. She thinks you are similar to her in many ways!

She also would need to experience it herself. She’s pretty stoic and doesn’t show her emotions. She’d probably think it’d make herself look weak.

I think you both would definitely fight back to back 24/7! You both would fight to the DEATH for each other.

She loves how caring you are for other people- it gives her a different sense of pace. Someone new!

I think Lute would see a TINY BIT through your lies. Lute is very observant with EVERYTHING.

She’d love if you made jokes. She need’s something less boring in her life than just standing there.

Adrenaline rushes? Totally join the exorcists- and you can be her right hand!!

She’d try to help you through paranoia, but you shouldnt worry much. She’s STRONG asf!

She’d LOVE TO HEAR CONSPIRACIES!! she would think they are SO COOL.

Although she isn’t much taller- I think she’d around 5’8 personally. She just looks small bc shes always next to Adam who’s HUGE!

She may not be able to match your energy, only because she’ll need to come out of her shell more- she’s always listening. She has ears EVERYWHERE.

~~~~

HOPE THIS WAS OKAY ❣️

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin alastor #hazbin angel dust #hazbin charlie #hazbin cherri bomb #hazbin husk #hazbin nifty #hazbin vaggie #hazbin adam #hazbin mimzy #hazbin art #habin hotel #hazbin lucifer #hazbin vox #hazbin spoilers #hazbin vees #hazbin hotel adam x reader #hazbin velvette #hazbin carmilla #hazbin rosie #hazbin sir pentious #hazbin emily #hazbin zestial #hazbin sera #hazbin lilith #hazbin lute #lute hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel charlie

[sneef-to-a-snorf-fight]

Totally Spies! S1 E5-10 Tier

Alright so. Yeah the show is not getting better. I am optimistic that it will get better in later seasons. Ok let's go this is gonna be a long one. Here's the current tier.

As a lil reminder, I'm watching this with my girlfriend Ivy (@twigsprout) to definitively find the worst Totally Spies! episode. This show is notorious for showing teenage girls in very horny situations.

I'm not optimistic that the top tier will ever have anything in it. "Abductions" almost made it but the last 5 minutes took a big turn for the worse.

I'll also note that this show is skewing my sense of normal. I almost put the episode "Spy Gladiators" into the "ok sure fine i guess" category. Luckily Ivy reminded me that a middle aged man with a jock fetish putting a mind control collar on a teenage girl to force her to be a gladiator is not in fact normal.

Anyway here's some notes.

The Eraser: blobs attach to people's faces and erase their memories, sam got gooped and brain erased*, very horny wording for the hatching of the goop??, characters shackled and collared again**

The Fugitives: guy makes clones of the main 3 and does crimes, the main 3's guardian finds out and says he's going to "reprogram" them with his lobotomy machine***, favorite quote "i'm so sorry i tried to lobotomize you"

Abductions: drowning/breathplay, trapped in a glass thingy, brain sucking, gross kid brain getting so big it almost explodes???????????

Model Citizens: some weirdos kidnap girls and forcibly swap their body parts with their own models' to make "perfect beauties," some mild inflation? (does it count if they just wear suits that inflate? i doubt it but i wrote it anyway), Clover gets big legs and sits on villain to stop him from getting away

Spy Gladiators: see the collar thing i wrote above, also the guy keeps prisoners and keeps them shackled to workout equipment in his dungeon to "keep his island running" but honestly i think he's just harvesting and drinking their sweat or something

*So at this point, Ivy and I decided to start a tally for how many times the theme of an episode involves brainwiping/hypnotizing/etc as well as a separate tally for how many times one of the main 3 gets brainwiped/hypnotized/etc. SO!

Current Brain-fuck count: 6 (out of 10 episodes!)

Sam: 3

Clover: 1

Alex: 0

**We also decided to keep a tally for how many times characters are collared. Cuz it just keeps happening.

Collar Count: 3

***Ok so. When we got to this part I started theorizing. Jerry doesn't hesitate to try to reprogram the girls as soon as he thinks they're acting up. That got me thinking: what if he already programmed them before? What if that's the reason the characters are so one-dimensional? I mean. I know it's just because the writers just didn't know how to give the girls any personality beyond "girl" but. In the canon of the show, it's kinda make sense if he gave the girls (who I'm pretty sure are orphans that WOOHP adopted and forced to work as spies for free?) just enough skills to be spies and high school students but no brain power beyond that so they can't rise up against him.

Actually. This is just the bimbo show. Whatever.

Anyway, once again, this show could be so iconic if it wasn't So Bad. Like. The aesthetic of everything. I mean. There's a moment in episode 6 where they're about to do this really important mission but then Clover is like "WAIT!!! I forgot my new sunglasses at my house and I'm not going anywhere without them" and so WOOHP send the girls in a helicopter to get her sunglasses before going to save the world from bimbo slimes or whatever. like. That's iconic!!!

To paraphrase Ivy, "It's such a cool idea to just do James Bond but with 3 high school girls from y2k ass Beverly Hills." It could be so good but it's just. not. I really hope the new stuff is better. I have a lot of hope for the new season coming out.

Also, on the whole character thing. Episode 10 feels like they might be starting to give Alex her own character maybe finally? Only barely tho idk.

Also, for a second I thought 9/11 didn't happen in this universe cuz I saw the twin towers but. They made that episode before 9/11 even though it came out a less than a month after 9/11 in France (over a year later in the US). And also the girls crash a plane into a building.

Anyway 16 episodes left in Season 1!

#totally spies! tier list #totally spies #totally spies!