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admirxation · 10 months

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Broken Locks | Part 1

𓆩♡𓆪┆ links to other parts: part two | part three | part four | part five

𓆩♡𓆪┆ pairing: las plagas! yandere! re4! leon s. kennedy x fem!reader (afab)

𓆩♡𓆪┆ summary: the reader is leon’s neighbour, she’s always had a crush on him, but has disappeared for a few days to leave the reader to wonder where he has gone. leon’s arrival is quiet and unknown to many, but is connected to the anxiety the reader has felt with the recent attempted break-ins to her apartment.

𓆩♡𓆪┆word count: 2.3k

𓆩♡𓆪┆ disclaimer: this is a work of fiction! i do not condone everything i write, my writing doesn’t reflect all my morals. if any of the following warnings trigger or make you feel uncomfortable, scroll away; you are in charge of what content you’re consuming. this is 18+ only, minors are strongly advised not to interact.

𓆩♡𓆪┆ warnings: NSFW 18+ content, mdni. female anatomy and she/her pronouns used for reader. DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT. stalking, breaking in, masturbation (m receiving), watching someone sleep, pantie sniffing, and kidnapping. (these will be updated along the way)

Chapter one: strange feeling

Dear Y/N,

I am writing to inform you that your apartment is safe to re-enter after continuous checks. New locks have been installed and keys will be given upon arrival. I want to apologise for any inconvenience this has caused you and encourage you to write if anything peculiar, like this, ever happens again. The police are aware of this and will take further action when more information can be found and given.

Kind regards,

Derek.

You looked at the email, sitting in the hotel room that you had retreated to for the past week. You released a sigh of relief when you finally heard word from Derek — your landlord — knowing that your apartment was now safe gave you some peace of mind.

While packing up your things you couldn’t help but think about all the peculiar things you had found near and on your apartment door; it was only a week ago when you found the peephole on your door had been drilled through, as well as markings on the side which made it look like someone tried to break-in with a crowbar. You remembered how you felt that afternoon when you found them, you had come back from work, absolutely exhausted and needing to get into something comfortable until you saw the evidence that made your heart race and feel watched from every angle. Thankfully you had alerted Derek about it all, he took you seriously and gave you the address of somewhere you could safely retreat to, helping with the finances of it all.

For the past week, trepidation was engraved in your mentality from the image of the scratches on the door, your psyche now full of paranoia and fear. You were grateful that things were sorted but still alarmed at not knowing who was behind all of it. You called your best friend Jill — explaining everything you were going through — and she told you if you had stopped messaging for a long time, she would call the police, so you had some security in safety with Derek’s apartment checks.

Why did this happen to me? You couldn’t help but have this question constantly haunt your mind, you knew you shouldn’t blame yourself — it wasn’t your fault — but having the stalking be anonymous made you think about who it was and why they were harassing you, was it someone you knew? When Derek looked at the camera footage, it was broken, just showing glitched lines on the computer screen; this only made you feel even more uneasy since you couldn’t get instant justice. At first, you and Derek theorised that it was probably the kid at the end of the hall wanting to cause trouble — as he did previously to other tenants — but Derek had spoken to their mother and found out he was with his father so he couldn’t have done it.

Derek met you at the front desk, he could tell you were still shaken up about things, and he had a warm smile with the keys in his hand. You smiled back at him, trying to fit the keys to loop around your index finger as you struggled with your suitcase and handbag.

“You okay?” of course, he knew you weren’t okay, but he didn’t know what else to say.

“I’m still a bit… You know… But I should be okay,” you paused for a bit, “Did you find anything in the apartment?” you couldn’t help but ask these questions; you knew he would have checked properly but you also had that little voice in your head that kept taunting you to ask the question.

“Nothing out of the ordinary, don’t worry okay? New locks have been put in, also the police know about this… Nothing should happen,” this put you at ease.

You nodded, giving a farewell as you went into the elevator to your floor; you gripped your suitcase tightly as you saw the buttons light up and signify you were getting closer to your apartment. When you finally reached it, you hesitated until the last minute when the doors were about to close, looking at your door that had been painted over and a new peephole installed; taking a deep breath you entered. Nothing had changed and it was the place you loved, after looking around you finally locked the door behind you and placed your suitcase in your room. You folded your arms, rubbing them to keep warm in an apartment that hadn’t been heated for over a week; you looked around and saw nothing had changed and everything looked the same and was untouched, but you couldn’t help but feel watched with every movement. You tried to ignore the feeling of paranoia, thinking that you were shaken up about things, but you couldn’t keep relieving your fears and needed to get unpacked.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

Later on — when it was getting darker outside — you had finished your unpacking as well as managing to relax with a bath and skin care, you then went into the kitchen and made some dinner, not being able to stop thinking about Leon.

You had lived opposite his apartment for over a year, and still remembered seeing him move in and looking at that handsome face; you were too scared to ask him on a date so you played it off by knocking on his door and offering “leftovers”. You always made a bigger portion of food to give you an excuse to talk to him and recently it became a routine to eat dinner with him. But this routine had come to an end; Leon had been gone for a while and you had no idea where he was, you asked Derek if he moved out which he denied and told you he was still a tenant.

You theorised about where he could have gone: did he go visit family or friends? Go on holiday? Or was he visiting a girlfriend? You thought for a moment, saddened at the thought that Leon would never go for you and that your crush was just pathetic with an inevitable end but for now all you wanted to do was finally eat some good food. You had gotten fed up with the constant instant ramen at the hotel and takeaways were eating at your bank account, you needed something homemade. Looking through your peephole you looked over at Leon’s door — knowing he wasn’t back — you would always hear him this time of night when walking back from work. You never knew what he did but knew the routine he had made around it.

It was lonely to eat alone, adding to your anxiety as you couldn’t have anybody to talk to; you knew Leon worked out and took care of himself, if he was around you would probably feel safer. But of course, you didn’t know where he had gone.

When you were finally getting sleepy, you pushed a chair in front of the door, placing a glass cup on the door handle so you could hear if someone tried to jiggle it; you took no chances and had stuck a box around the peephole, a cover wouldn’t be enough if it was drilled through, but Derek had told you if you stuck it on the door it would come off when you wanted and wouldn’t be moved if the unspeakable happened again. You kept your warm-toned light on as you slept and had the tv play in the back quietly, enough so you could still hear the glass.; total silence and darkness would make it more difficult to sleep. You tried your best to keep your eyes closed and sleep through any fears you were going through.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

You slept, hugging your favourite plushie, restless with nightmares but not wanting to stay up all night; you had work in the morning, which couldn’t be ignored. When you finally started to calm down, lost in a trance of slumber…

Leon finally came from under the bed.

He watched you momentarily, your face visible with the warm tones from your lamp; he watched you and stared at how beautiful and vulnerable you were in your sleep, getting harder as the thought of grabbing and making you his was starting to engulf his mind, but he couldn’t do that… yet. He walked over to the bathroom; you had foolishly kept the bedroom door open, making it easy for him to get around the place. He looked at his surroundings — the place you called your own little sanctuary — sliding his fingers on the books you were currently reading, picking up the blanket you slept in on the sofa, starting to smell it and loving how your scent was lingering on the fabric. You were so near, but so far; Leon wanted to do whatever he could while you were asleep.

He had been waiting for your arrival.

Leon had come back from Spain two weeks ago, he had finished his mission successfully but had to sacrifice himself for it; the parasite was slowly taking over him, and the dark veins across his skin started to take over the being he was. Unlike the other victims, he managed to maintain his memories and some of his characteristics, only his humanity and morals were exchanged and surrendered to the virus. He remembered his life before going to Spain: how sweet you were every time you came over to his place, how beautiful you were every time you walked past him, and how delicious you looked in your most vulnerable state.

Derek managed to maintain checks on the apartment, only he was stupid enough to install locks that were easy to pick without any evidence. The original locks were too challenging to get into, making it obvious he was trying to enter, the markings on the door being a last resort of desperation which held him back with you being gone for a week. When the new ones were put in, Derek was lazy and cheap; Leon managed to keep the camera covered and made his return unknown to everyone and every time he pressed himself toward the door to look through the peephole, seeing the hallway was clear, it was easy to get in. Thanks to Derek’s instalment of faulty, broken locks.

Leon knew that Derek would contact you the day the locks were put in, so he stayed in your room, hiding under your bed whenever he heard the sound of the key turning in the door. He remembered when he saw Derek looking around — completing an idle search — and Leon couldn’t help but think how simple-minded he was and what a huge mistake he made in the choices of locks and search methods.

The parasite made Leon think the most profound and darkest of thoughts, he couldn’t help but stare at Derek and think about how easy it would be to just… Kill him; he was out in the open like prey. But he wasn’t what Leon wanted; you were the prize he wanted to steal.

He sat in the bathroom, looking at all the products you used that were left on the side of the sink, but he didn’t care about that; he looked at your laundry basket, not taking a second to waste and rummage through your dirty clothes, looking for something particular.

He found it.

A black lacy thong was sitting at the bottom. Leon loved it when you wore this; you never knew but sometimes when you wore this with a skirt, he would sometimes see it when he accidentally dropped something and you were too kind to pick it up for him, bending over and exposing yourself in front of him. He couldn’t do it too often, but when he could, he would always feel how hard it made him, palming his erection under the table — which you were oblivious to.

He sat on the cold tile, unbuckling the belt on his jeans, allowing his hard cock to be surrounded by the cold air and Leon’s calloused hand, having his free hand press the lacy fabric against his nose. He inhaled your scent, his cock throbbing as he caressed his hard member, precum leaking over his fingertips as he got lost in the scent and thought of you.

He needed you. He needed to make you his, and he didn’t want to wait any longer.

Tonight was the night he was going through with the plan.

The more he thought about his sinful plans, he quickened his movements, trying not to be too loud in his moans: he thought about how you would feel, how it would feel to have those warm walls surround his cock and yearn for his tip to kiss your cervix, how beautiful you would look with his hand around your neck, wanting to know what it would be like to see you cry at his length, and how he would feel when you screamed his name and beg for him to stop.

That was it.

That was the thought that made him release warm ropes, using your panties to clean himself off, throwing it back on top of the basket without a care in the world.

Every time you made a sound, whether it was a whimper or you shuffling in bed, Leon darted his eyes in your direction, making sure you didn’t wake up and ruin his plans — he waited too long for this.

He finally moved to the kitchen, picking up any rag he could find, inching his way closer to the doorframe and covering the rag with the liquid that was a part of his plan. He stood over you, waiting and waiting for you to wake up.

When the sun peaked through, your eyes slowly opened, your vision blurry until you saw a dark figure.

“What the —”

Your eyes widened as the mysterious figure pressed the rag, covering your mouth and nose, making you slowly drift back into another deep slumber; your attempts to fight back failed, and Leon watched as your body became lifeless and easy to take.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

a/n: i hope you enjoyed this part, please like and reblog (it rlly helps and i appreciate every single one). i just wanted to say that i didn’t do a tag list for this part since i wanted people to know what they were getting themselves into, i will also not be doing separate tag list posts; just comment on the post or message me if you want to be tagged (and maybe mention if you want to be tagged in every part of you want). have a lovely day/evening, ily 🫶

update on the authors note: i won’t be doing tag lists at all for this series it’s hard to keep up with, im sorry 🫶

#leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x fem reader #leon kennedy smut #yandere!leon kennedy x reader #yandere!leon kennedy #plagas!leon kennedy x reader #plagas!leon kennedy #resident evil 4 #resident evil x reader #resident evil #fanfiction #leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy x reader #admirxation #admirxation broken locks

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1001aus · 4 months

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@wearerandomlyyours IceMav time travel au has lived in my mind for a while now. Also I have Chronic Worldbuilding Syndrome and started having thoughts about Ice and Mav telling the brass that they met at Top Gun leading to the eventual creation of the program and policies put into place that will ensure it's the same as they described (i.e. teaching positions reserved for trophy winners, being located at Miramar).

Anyway.

I Wrote A Thing.

(Disclaimer: as this au does not belong to me, I make no promises that this will be compliant with anything that may get written by randomlyyours (that is their name on ao3. go check them out) in the future. I cannot promise that this is an au they are working on at all.)

---------‐

Mike has a suspicion about Duke's kid before he ever earns his callsign.

It starts as a funny thought: wouldn't it be a laugh if Duke was named after his own son. Duke being named after his son's cover identity which was probably named after him—Mike doesn't have the clearance to know more than what he needs to so he can identify Blizzard and Wild Thing when they come to Top Gun, not even what year to expect them although he's sure it's in the files somewhere—the exact order of events makes for a chicken-or-the-egg question for when he has nothing better to do than navel gazing.

Then he hears that Pete Mitchell is rejected from the academy because of who his father was. That burns him as much for the possibility he hadn't realized he felt so strongly about as much as it does because he knows the things people say about his wingman are lies.

For a while he assumes he was wrong; that's the end of it and doesn't think about that stray idea again.

Their first class roster for the class of '86 seems to confirm that. Mike wouldn't be cleared to know about Blizzard and Wild Thing if someone high up didn't expect him to be teaching them and Iceman looks like a perfect candidate. Blizzard and Wild Thing meet for the first time at Top Gun, that's why he's read in. Hell, it's why the program exists in the first place.

None of the other pilots have callsigns that line up, but it could be Cougar if he squints. Then Cougar turns in his wings less than a week before they start and Stinger sends the only other pilot on the Enterprise worth sending.

Pete Mitchell. Maverick.

That funny thought is worth something after all.

"Well, I'll be damned."

"Mike?"

He pulls the files out of the stack and offers them to Rick. It doesn't take more than a minute for Rick to understand what he's looking at.

"So it's finally happening, huh? They look just like the pictures."

"Explains why Wild Thing flew like he had a chip on his shoulder."

"That it does." Rick snorts out a laugh. "Either the pair of them will be our best students or our worst."

Yeah, Mike's already dreading that. He still isn't sure if he should tell the kid Duke flew on his wing or if that would just make more problems. Gonna have to play that one by ear.

Mitchell's got a chip on his shoulder the size of Texas and Kazansky's shooting for stars. They're the only real competition the two of them have got in this class and they're sharp enough to know it. There isn't much information available on Blizzard and Wild Thing before their grand entrance to the war, but Mike's willing to bet the first impressions don't go smoothly.

"The worst. Ten bucks says."

"Pretty confident there. Sure, I'll take that bet."

(Rick gives him his winnings at the end of the first day.)

#IceMav #fic tag #wearerandomlyyours time travel au #this will go up on ao3 eventually but I need to figure out what to call it first

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dodger-chan · 7 months

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I wasn't actually going to write any follow up to The Morning After but I hate watching shoot outs and so started fucking around on my computer and now there's 500 more words, and I think they're a bit more optimistic than I originally intended.

@flowercrowngods I seem to recall you asking about potential follow up for this one.

“Harrington, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

Steve had no idea what Munson was talking about. He didn’t even know the guy. Not any more than everyone in the school knew Munson, at least.

“Going home?” He hadn’t meant it to be a question, but it came out as one anyway. Stone-faced, Munson shook his head. He grabbed Steve’s arm and dragged him roughly from the empty hallway into an empty room. Closed the door behind them and pushed Steve against it.

“Try again,” Munson growled. His breath smelled strongly of cigarette smoke. His clothes, too, but with a hint of sweat and stale beer. It was nice. Familiar. Steve closed his eyes and took a deeper breath.

Felt Munson lean in closer, fingers wrapped around Steve’s arms, squeezing.

It hurt.

Steve felt himself relax into the pain, shift ever so slightly forward, and catch Munson’s lips against his own. Felt the pressure shift from a threat to a kiss.

A familiar kiss.

Steve opened his eyes when Munson stopped, pulled away, stared at him with shock.

“We’ve done that before.” Steve had meant it to be a question, but it didn’t sound like one. Eddie answered him anyway.

“Heather’s party. Week and a half ago. You really don’t remember?” Steve didn’t remember going to that party. He did remember forgetting that party, which was better than nothing. “Shit, you didn’t seem that drunk.”

“I wasn’t.” Not according to Heather. He’d checked with her to see if he needed to apologize to anyone, or pay for dry cleaning, and she said he’d barely drunk anything. He waved a hand at the fading green bruise on his face. “Head injury. Fucks with my memory sometimes.”

“Huh. So you weren’t just…” Eddie made some weird flailing gestures with his hands. “Letting me work myself into a panic before you murdered me?”

“Murdered you? For a kiss?” Eddie froze like a deer in headlights. “It wasn’t just a kiss, was it?”

“Not here. Not at school.” Eddie was right. Too many doors. Too many kids leaving clubs who might hear them talking. “My place? My uncle works nights; he’ll be gone by seven.”

“I can do that.” If his parents asked, he’d tell them he was meeting Carol to study. He didn’t think they’d ask.

“Assuming you don’t forget me again,” Eddie said, with a smile. Steve smiled back. It was kind of funny. “Wait, you were just at basketball practice. Are you playing contact sports with a broken head?”

“Basketball isn’t a contact sport.” And Steve couldn’t just quit on the team. “Coach said it was fine as long as I wasn’t, like, puking from the headaches.”

“Oh, I guess as long as you’re not puking.” Eddie rolled his eyes. “Fucking jocks. I used to have better taste.”

“I’m the best you’ll ever taste, Munson.” The meaning of his words hit Steve like a truck. “I mean-”

“Seven,” Eddie interrupted him. “Forest Hills, at seven, or I’ll call your house and you’ll have to explain to your parents why The Freak needs you to come over.”

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t worry, I’ll show.” They probably wouldn’t be home, anyway.

Note: Basketball is actually a contact sport, Steve's just being dumb. Athletes really did play through concussions in the 80s, even really bad ones.

#my fic #steddie #stranger things #short ficlet

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adachimoe · 9 months

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Adachi trying to frame Yukiko

Early in Persona 4, there are a couple scenes where Adachi tries to frame Yukiko as Mayumi's murderer and raise suspicion about her.

April 17th, after you get caught with weapons at Junes:

Adachi: Well, that announcer, Ms. Yamano, was staying at the Amagi Inn before the first murder. Adachi: Seems Ms. Yamano had some harsh words for the manager about the staff's attitude towards guests. The stress of it caused the manager to collapse. And with Ms. Amagi being the manager's daughter…She must've felt pretty strongly about the incident, y'know. Adachi: By the way, did Ms. Amagi ever hint that she might be leaving the house? Adachi: 'Cause if not, there's been some theories floating around that she's laying low for some reason or another…

After you save Yukiko from the TV:

Adachi: We were just questioning Ms. Amagi, but she says she doesn't remember anything that happened while she was missing. And we can't figure out her whereabouts during the missing period, either. It's like she really disappeared. Adachi: It's all pretty fishy, if you ask me… Like there's something else going on.

On April 30th, when Adachi meets up with the kids at Junes and Yukiko is with the group, he doesn't say anything to her or about her. Seems he's dropped the subject... This all looks very silly after you learn he's the real killer. And so these interactions get written off by players as, "Adachi trying to drop hints about the case so that his little game with Namatame and the Investigation Team can continue".

But what "hint" is he dropping here? What is the point of his accusations? Or, idk, is there a point, besides to move the plot along? "Move the plot along" feels really, really generous. Chie seemed concerned about Yukiko going missing even before Yosuke brings up what Adachi said. The kids would have gone into the TV to try and save Yukiko regardless.

I'm not really confident about this because it *does* get dropped pretty quickly, and this feels like a bit of a stretch even for me and my walls of tl;dr. But I get the feeling that Adachi is trying to frame Yukiko or make her seem suspicious because he's (at first) concerned she might do exactly what she does in December. This would be pretty bad for him, seeing as how he's trying to get away with murder. And him sending Namatame off to try and kill someone then get blamed instead hadn't produced any results this early.

During December, Yukiko brings to light that Adachi showed up at the ryokan claiming to be Mayumi's police babysitter. Based on what we see, the game suggests that Adachi was lying about being assigned to her. But at the time, the ryokan staff didn't know any better. They took his word for it, and he hung around and chatted with them for a bit.

This makes Yukiko an eyewitness who can place him at the Amagi Ryokan before Mayumi's death, and that's why he's trying to make her seem untrustworthy or discredit her. Like, "What? Me? Mayumi Yamano? Impossible. This girl is crazy. She did it. She had a motive." But he drops it because after Yukiko comes out of the TV, she doesn't say anything that could implicate him. (And he would have an idea cause as he says after you rescue Yukiko from the TV, him and Dojima question her after she turns up.)

I have seen people call "Yukiko not bringing this up until December" a plot hole. I don't know. After you bring her out of the TV, it's like, "Shadows, blah blah, Personas, talking teddy bear, blah blah, amnesia about kidnapping, TV world induced exhaustion, Kanji's arc starts 5 seconds later". I doubt that "hey Adachi said he was there to guard Mayumi" is on the forefront of her mind.

What really puts this out of "plot hole" territory for me is that even if the kids think Adachi is a moron, they still respect that he's an officer. The power behind the badge is a very, very easy way to explain why Yukiko didn't think twice of him showing up at the ryokan to begin with.

And it's not just that one time, and it's not just her either. Like, Yosuke taking Adachi's accusation of Yukiko seriously is tied to him being a detective working on the case. Would Yosuke feel the same way if it was Kashiwagi saying this? Yosuke and Naoto respect that Adachi is in charge when the kids try to get the protagonist out of the interrogation room, Chie invites Adachi to Marukyu on the stakeout because he's an on duty officer, Kanji didn't think twice about his behavior specifically because he's an officer.

Semi-relatedly, I thought it was funny that out all of the Persona 4 characters, Adachi has special interactions with Yukiko in BB Tag. (Edit: Then again, Yukiko does have a special quote when she wins vs Adachi in Ultimax. So hm idklol.) On their partner victory screen, Yukiko says she won't question Adachi for now, but the Investigation Team will stop him if it turns out he's up to no good. And Adachi calls her and her friends naive for trusting him (even if only a little) enough to not be breathing down his neck already. Like, girl, come on, didn't you learn the first time?

#persona 4 #tohru adachi #adachi brainrot #yosuke hanamura #yukiko amagi #chie satonaka #bbtag

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max1461 · 9 months

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[Decided to make this its own post instead of, uh, kind of literally trauma-dumping in somebody's notes. In response to this post.]

I don't disagree with this. My parents wanted me to take piano lessons as a kid, and I didn't want to, and eventually they relented. When I got to be an adult, I found myself really wishing I'd continued with those piano lessons. Ultimately I do think the were right to err on the side of non-coercion here, since I think the potential costs of forcing your kids to do stuff can be pretty high, but I don't resent at all the fact that they put me in piano lessons to begin with and strongly encouraged me to stay. I think that was the right move!

On the other hand my parents pressured me enormously around reproductive stuff, pressured me constantly to "make them a bunch of grandkids", and where generally unsupportive of my desire for gender non-conformity as a teenager (such that I didn't end up feeling comfortable expressing it, and was much less happy as a result). They also basically kept me locked up in the house, with the exception of school, until I left for college. The first time I was ever in a public place without their supervision I was 19 years old. I wasn't allowed to go out on my own, wasn't allowed to go to friends' houses (at least as a kid; by my mid-teens the issue was moot because my only friend had moved away, and I'm sure they would tell me that at that point I totally was allowed to go to friends' houses...), was strongly discouraged from expressing myself in the ways that I wanted to... and the upshot is that I felt lonely and miserable as a teenager.

When I went to college I got a little more freedom, though they still found ways to prevent me and my sister from doing stuff they didn't approve of. In retrospect this is the period in which they pulled their least-forgivable stunts, I assume because they felt their control was the most threatened.

They have recognized the wrongness of most of this now, or at least most of the worst of it, but... well, that doesn't really help me with the shit that's lastingly fucked up as a result.

Anyway I guess my point is that "I wish I'd dyed my hair at 14" is almost verbatim a though I have had, but I'm coming at it from the opposite direction—my parents pressured me not to do stuff like that, to fit their restrictive mold, and I'm definitely worse off for it. Which is not to invalidate OP's experience here at all, like... feelings of missed experiences in youth are something I can relate to very deeply, and I don't imagine I would feel any better about it if the etiology had been different. Which I guess is my point, in general agreement with triv: parenting is really hard, children are a hard ethical problem, and while I think my parents did a lot of things wrong, I can easily imagine a all kinds of other approaches being equally wrong.

And like, my parents did a lot of things right! They never hit me, they always strongly encouraged me to question authority (they never quite understood themselves as an authority), and there were forms of respect that they extended to me as a young kid that I think are almost never extended to young kids (even by liberal/anti-authoritarian parents), and for that I am enormously thankful.

I can remember being a kid, and having them tell me about how their parents never supported them, and how they would support me in anything I wanted to do and no matter who I was. And I think when they said that, they really believed it. They didn't realize those other parents pressured their kids into some particular lifestyle not out of mustache-twirling evil, but out of a real genuinely desire to "protect" their kids or see them succeed in certain ways. And when my parents felt those things themselves, they thought they were different. They didn't realize they were doing the same thing all those other parents had done, that they could so easily see to be harmful from the outside.

I think the way I was parented is kind of a story of... how easy it is to lose sight of what you care about, or claim to care about, when it's not in your interests. My parents said all the right things! And to their credit, they did a lot of the right things. But they also failed to live up to their values a lot. In big, glaring ways that I still don't really understand how they missed.

Wonder if that's why I don't put so much stock in what people claim to believe half the time.

#personal #should I post this? I don't know. kill me.

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add1ctedt0you · 1 year

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I know that everyone, projecting, can have different interpretations about the same character, but I really can't understand some of them. For example "jc is an arrogant asshole" : I mean, he is an asshole, but arrogant? I personally disagree. Jiang Cheng is a kid who is grown been compared his own life to Wei WuXian, his perfect sect brother, by both his parents.

Kids like that grown with an inferiority complex, not being arrogant. And I think that the text proofs it enough :

Madam Yu stood up and mocked, "What do you want me to do? Like your father, you want me to hold my tongue? You really are an idiot. I've told you long ago that you'll never in your whole life be able to surpass the one sitting beside you. Not over cultivation, not over night-hunting, even shooting kites, you can't surpass him! It can't be helped. Who would change the fact that your mom is worse than another's? Worse it is, then. Your mom feels injustice for you, tells you countless times not to fool around with him, yet you are still defending him. Just how did I give birth to a son like you? "

Chapter 50

After a speech like that, something that seems usual for them, how in the hell jiang cheng could have ever get arrogant? How?? His mother, the one whose love he doesn't question, is saying to his face that he isn't enough, that he would never been enough. When a child grown hearing this all the time, how can become arrogant??

In fact, Jiang cheng's greatest wish in his youth is not to be the best, is to be enough, is to make his parents proud of him, is to been seen for his worth:

He raise his voice, "You killed the Xuanwu of Slaughter together with Lan WangJi, bathing in blood! How great is that?! But what about me?!"

He punched his fist into a pillar in the hall, clenching his teeth, "... I have also been running around for days, completely exhausted, with not one second of rest!"

Chapter 56

Jiang cheng is extremely upset not because he didn't kill the Xuanwu of Slaughter but because his efforts have been overlooked. "But what about me?" that's what he said and what tormented him. His father had praised wei wuxian and lan wangji, but what about jiang cheng effort? I see a kid who wants desperately love and appreciation.

I want to point out, that obviously his trauma influence his life. As anyone with an inferiority complex, he doesn't think himself good enough, so he behaves according to his belief (I strongly believe that people with inferiority complex don't always achieve everything not because they aren't able, but because they don't think to be able, - something very different - sabotaging themselves without even realizing it). For example, he doesn't think himself able to fight and win against lan wangji not necessarily because he isn't good enough, but because his inferiority complex runs deep. In fact, he is pretty good as cultivator and fighter!

When Jiang Cheng was unaware, he stuffed Zidian's ring back into his hand and sprinted toward the crowd, all the way up to the most dangerous area before the mouth of the cave. Jiang Cheng was about to chase after him when he managed to slice a few corpses, staggering. He felt that Sandu was no lighter than hundreds of pounds.

Jiang cheng, without his spiritual powers, managed to slice a few corpses. (Not having spiritual powers means that he can't heal readily and he gets tired easily)

Jiang Cheng chased over to fight Wen ZhuLiu. Wen Chao saw that his eyes were bloodshot and had on a terrifying expression. The rest of the disciples had also been excited, and there was still a gigantic beast inside the pool, the front-left claw of which had already stepped onto the shore. Wen Chao finally began to fear, "Retreat, retreat. Retreat right now!"

Without any weapon and knowing well what wen zhuliu was capable of, 17 years old Jiang Cheng chased him down. And he was so terrifying that wen chao called for retreat!

That's to say, his insecurities and fears don't ever stop jiang cheng from doing what he has to do. He doesn't feel enough because of his childhood but, nonetheless, jiang cheng is extremely hardworking and competent.

The most laughable one was the YunmengJiang Sect, the people of which either had been killed or had scattered, leaving only Jiang Cheng, who was younger than even Lan XiChen and was still a child born yesterday, who had nobody in his hands but still dared call himself sect leader, holding up the banner of rebellion as he recruited new disciples.

After lotus pier's fall, despite his young age, being younger than Lan Xichen, despite the fact that his sect has been destroyed and despite the fact that he was alone, he dared call himself sect leader, holding up the banner of rebellion recruiting new disciples! Jiang cheng worked hard every day to rebuilt lotus pier!

Within these few years, Jiang Cheng insisted on working late into the night every day. That day, just as he decided to rest early, he had to rush to Koi Tower overnight because of the thundering news.

Chapter 73

Thanks his efforts, lotus pier is reborn again as one of the greatest sect, despite her isolation. No one dares to insult lotus pier or jiang cheng himself!

So, jiang cheng is a strong sect leader, a man accustomed to give orders, but that, again, doesn't make him arrogant. He is probably proud of his sect! As every person who fights, works hard and makes every effort, he is probably proud of his achievements.

#I don't think that this makes sense #Anyway there's a tendency to portray jc in some way #When he is not like that #He has flaws #jiang cheng #mdzs #silly thoughts

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chaoticbasicallyuselessbisexual · 5 months

Text

okay so, I'm here to rant a bit

I watched the last unicorn for the first time in years with my new friends on uni. I convinced them to watch it with me cause it's always been one of my favorite movies when I was a kid. we all had fun during the movie, and it was overall just a really fun and bonding time for all of us.

but of course, there is something that's just bothering me to no end.

my friends collectively agreed on not liking the young prince, that falls in love with Amalthea.

though I understand their point of view (they thought that the romantic line was unnecessary), I can't help but empathize with him.

because from my point of view, he fell in love. that's all he did. fell in love with someone he couldn't have, and he was brave enough to face it, admit it to himself, and work on what he viewed as important to himself at the given moment (went to find her again so he could tell her his feelings and have a closure of the whole thing), and I admire that.

of all the times I've ever been in love, I have always felt that I fell in love with the wrong person, and I worked so hard on making myself understand it's not my fault. seeing my friends talk the way they did about Lir made me question whether I'm stupid or just really unlucky.

because, if he's not the embodiment of falling in love with the wrong person, then I seriously don't know who is. I've always felt strongly about this movie, and as I'm getting older, I can understand him better and better. when I was younger, I thought that surely that's love - he's never gonna give up on her, he'll always dream of their own happy ending; but I think differently now. not so much, perhaps, because it still starts the same. I think that surely that's love - trying again and again, hurting so badly, not knowing how it's going to end.

it ended badly for him, in a way. we never know what happened to him on his way. we just know that he left for the world, for the last unicorn. and to me, that's such a familiar pain that I can't help and love that character in a weird "i can see my reflection in your eyes" kind of way.

the entire story is incredibly sad, but I love it all the more for it. it's sad from the beginning to the very end, and maybe I'm weird, but I love it for it. for the pain I can see somewhere else than in my own life.

#the last unicorn #its sad #like so sad #you dont understand #i fucking cried #my favorite character has to be the talking skeleton tho #for obvious reasons

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wannaseewhatshangin · 1 year

Note

Hmmmm

Do you think you can do anything with like a Dally x reader with

“Why do you think I’d ever like her?? I have taste, man”

Cuz the whole gang is like “dally you seem to hate literally everyone except her (and Johnny BAHAHAH)”

And it’s just lots of shipping from the gang and dally realizing like “ohhh shit I do like her”

DOES THAT MAKE SENSE 😭😭

OMG OF COURSE I LOVE THIS!!

Taste <3

Two bit walks up to Dallas with a wiggle of his eyebrows. “What the hell are you doin man?” Dallas questioned the boy. “Nothin just thinking of the fact that you like y/n.” Dallas looked at him and almost laughed. “Why do you think I’d ever like her?? I have taste, man.” Two bit frowned at him. “She’s a really sweet girl and I think anybody would be lucky enough to even get to look at her once.” Dallas looked up at him. “Well if you think that way why don’t you go date her!” He said harshly to the dirty blonde kid, his New York accent coming through strongly. That’s when you walked in, looking ever so beautiful with a bright smile that would sweep anyone off their feet. “Hey boys! What’s up?” Everyone looked up from what they were doing and smiled at you, greeting you as you walked in. Sodapop hugged you, greeting you very kindly. He has always had a big heart. Since you were kids it only seemed to grow bigger. Dallas felt a pain in his chest.- No. he was only imagining it. It was in his head. You hugged everyone and you walked to Dallas and smiled. “Hey Dally, what’s up?” He felt his chest tighten as he takes notice at how you hugged everyone but him. He wish he never acted like he hated hugs..especially your hugs. You gave the best hugs. And he declined every single one of them. Keeping up a front that he wish he never started. “Good.” You walked to the couches smiling, sitting next to Ponyboy. “Hey pone, what you up to?” He looked at you with his grey green eyes. “Nothin’ just reading this book I got.” You smiled at him. Dallas loved your smile- what? No he didn’t that’s crazy talk. He say next to you. “Hey doll, how have you been?” He always called you doll. The gang started their “ooo’s” and Dally looked at them. “Cut it out, man.” Johnny was mumbling about how much Dallas liked you. “What did you say to me you little shit?” Johnny shook his head and said “nothin’.” You got up and walked to the door. “I’m gonna sit out on the porch for a second.” Everyone said “okay” and you walked out. Everyone immediately started jumping on Dallas goin on about him liking you. “What are you guys talkin’ about, man?” “You like her!” Soda pop said loudly. “What?! Nah, man. I don’t like her.” Steve gave him the ‘really bitch’ look to him and said “Dally you seem to hate everybody BUT her” and everyone laughed. ‘Oh shit. I do like her…maybe I love her’ Dallas thought this and groaned. “Ughh maybe I do so what?” Everyone screamed and was like “YES! We got him to admit it!” And running around the house. Little did he know you heard the whole thing from outside. And you walked in and sat right next to him, a lot a little close. And gave him a kiss on the cheek and left. Leaving him flustered and staring off into space.

#dallas winston headcanons #dallas winston x reader #sodapop headcanons #johnny cade #johnny cade headcanons #johnny cade x reader #sodapop x reader #ponyboy curtis #ponyboy headcanons #ponyboy x reader

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none-gender-left-man · 2 years

Text

Mike Wheeler has BPD

"I often feel “empty.”"

"My emotions shift very quickly, and I often experience extreme sadness, anger, and anxiety."

"I’m constantly afraid that the people I care about will abandon me or leave me."

"I would describe most of my intimate and close relationships as intense, but unstable."

"The way I feel about the people in my life can dramatically change from one moment to the next—and I don’t always understand why."

"I often do things that I know are dangerous or unhealthy, such as driving recklessly, having unsafe sex, binge drinking, using drugs, or going on spending sprees."

"I’ve attempted to hurt myself, engaged in self-harm behaviors such as cutting, or threatened suicide."

"When I’m feeling insecure in a relationship, I tend to lash out or make impulsive gestures to keep the other person close."

This line of questioning is used in determining whether one has borderline personality disorder.

Let us establish that Mike is simultaneously painfully aware of his flaws and shames while also showing an extreme pride and sense of ego. This is a pretty standard BPD experience, dualism of self value. Both self aggrandized and self loathing.

Mike knows he's an asshole when he is, and it makes him value himself even less, which in turn can stifle his growth without healthy support. When he's a dick to Will especially, he takes responsibility (notably more so with Will than anyone else, I'll come back to this). He knows he fucks up, and when he does it crushes him. This is exactly why Mike "needs to feel needed".

He needs to be told he has value because telling himself doesn't work. He doesn't Believe Himself. To someone with BPD, your own good traits can disappear when you feel you've harmed someone you love or have caused yourself to lose them. This is also why his relationship with El WILL fail. She doesn't Need him, even if she does want his company. This is established. She is an independent agent and this makes them deeply incompatible as a romantic pair. Their relationship was healthiest in a platonic state.

Examples of Mike's emotional instability and lashing out, saying regrettable things to loved ones or having feelings for them shift from one extreme to another:

“I thought we were friends, you know? But friends tell each other the truth. And they definitely don’t lie to each other. You made me think that Will was okay; that he was still out there but he wasn’t! He wasn’t. Maybe you thought you were helping but you weren’t. You hurt me, do you understand? What you did sucks.” - To Eleven/Jane about lying to him

"I'm not trying to be a jerk. But we're not kids anymore. I mean, what did you think? We were never gonna get girlfriends? We were just gonna sit in my basement and play games for the rest of our lives?" - To Will about his jealousy of Eleven and Max

"It's not my fault you don't like girls!" - To Will after Will left due to Lucas and Mike focusing on their girlfriends more than the Party

"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe we don't want to be popular?" - to Lucas about his joining the basketball team

"Why is this all on me?" - To Will about their lack of contact

Fear of losing loved ones or being abandoned:

"It's day 353. I had a bad day. I don't know, I guess I wish you were here. We all do. If you're out there, just please, give me a sign....Eleven?" - To El

"I felt like I lost you." - To Will

*See the Self Endangerment section below for more on this related to Will.

Unstable yet intense relationships:

Has been dumped by El for his insensitivity

Has had an established pair bond with Will from kindergarten onward despite having occasionally very turbulent bumps in their friendship.

Fights and bickers with his friends, authorities, and loved ones like his parents and sister on a regular basis.

Has a pattern of being insensitive and disrespectful in general.

Develops attachments quickly and strongly, but these attachments can distort or shift easily.

Self Endangerment or Impulsivity:

“I saw you guys laughing over there and I think that’s a real messed-up thing to do.” - confronting Troy and James

Mike's Suicidality - When Will disappears in the beginning causing Mike and Dustin to have their dangerous encounter with Troy and James, Mike is fully willing to die by throwing himself off the cliff. In the exact same place he fears Will has died. Were it not for El, he'd have killed himself at 12 years old because he lost his favorite person in the world. Remember that when you discuss him and his behaviors. He needs character development, but he's a traumatized, mentally ill teen.

A common part of having BPD is the formation of an attachment to a "favorite person" or FP, Mike's FP is Will, and has been for years.

Evidence:

“I asked if you wanted to be my friend. And you said yes. You said yes. It was the best thing I’ve ever done.” - To Will

In LotL (not typing the full book name bc I'm not clogging the Lucas book tag with a Mike essay) Mike is established as having crashed into an intense self isolating depressive episode when Will left. He shut himself in the basement substituting his absence with hollow video game binges while ignoring everyone and neglecting all other relationships. This of course is parallel to him asking Will if he "expected them to play games in his basement forever", to which Will had replied. "I really did."

This is also why he can't say I love you to El without being pressured/coerced.

When visiting Lenora Hills, Mike doesn't focus on El despite her supposedly being his girlfriend and reason for being there. While El is being bullied and harassed he is distracted, asking why Will hasn't talked to him and has been giving the cold shoulder. He dislikes losing Will's presence and attention. It's uncomfortable and disturbing to his emotional expectations, which triggers his reactivity.

Even though he clearly cares for El deeply, Will takes a priority, and Mike lashes out at him in frustration at their lack of contact because he lacks communication skills and self awareness. (Though to be fair from Mike's POV Will had just blamed Mike for their lack of contact when Mike factually tried countless times to call)

This second loss of Will sets Mike off, just like he was set off when he temporarily lost Will in 1983. Only this time, Mike feels it's his fault in many ways. There's guilt, shame, self pity- but then he starts to fix it upon having his heart-to-hearts with Will, once again establishing Will as a source of emotional stability for him. Will makes Mike see his flaws and helps him to feel loved and supported while not excusing his actions. Will won't just take the bullshit, but he truly loves Mike unconditionally and unapologetically.

Will is the only person who Mike takes the initiative with in accountability without being nudged. The ONLY person. Intentionally or not, Mike Wheeler is BPD coded. There's no way around this and it can't be removed from his character.

There's a pervasive and frustrating concern I have with the amount of cluster b ableism tossed at him as a character. One doesn't have to like him or enjoy him, but note that real people experience the same regressions of behavior. Real people don't need to see their patterns of mental illness targeted so openly. One can criticize the character without treating him as some irredeemable prick with no good qualities left.

#mike wheeler defense squad #mike wheeler i know what you are #(a BPD patient)#actually bpd #cluster b #ableism #sanism #stranger things #Mike wheeler #st analysis #st meta #neurodivergent headcanon #byler #will byers

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aengelren · 1 year

Text

I’ve gotten this asked a couple of times, so I’ll pin it as an answer to why I love Eren so much.

Happy birthday, Eren

Pinned

A few years ago, I tried to convince my brother to watch Brooklyn nine nine. He told me he’d watch one episode in exchange of me watching an episode of Attack on titan. Reluctantly, I gave in, and the rest is history. The ups, downs, tears, laughter I’ve experienced with this story is beyond what I expected that night. But the thing I’ll hold most precious, is finding Eren: my favorite character of all time.

He’s so full of emotions and he expresses them so vividly, it made it hard not to feel for him. I was immediately beholden by him. From that very first episode. In shock over his strong morality, the questions he had about the world. About his existential view of it. “Life has no meaning? I’ll create my own.” How he felt so strongly about his rights, about being caged, but mostly, how he acted upon those thoughts. It was simply inspiring. Not the actions itself, but how he went through hell and back for his goals. With his will alone. He wasn’t made that way, or taught that was. It’s his very nature. “I’ve always been me…”

Does freedom have morality? I saw an Aot analysis asking this great question. Is Eren not free because his freedom doesn’t align with your definition of it? It doesn’t matter that I disagree with his view, it’s his. And his blatant pursuit for it makes him free. He’s never been held back by authority, fear. While other people run from titans, Eren hurls himself towards them. Whereas a “normal” human usually has to fight to keep going, Eren always fights to hold back. He’s in a constant state of wanting to go all out, a maximalist. He learns to control his urges, to embrace his destructive nature and go after his desires. Even though he KNOWS they are wrong. But they feel right for him, so he’ll do it. He cries for his victims, yet he still kills them. He never denies being a monster, like Levi said in s1, “he can’t be caged. He will never submit to anyone.” Imagine being so free that no amount of destruction or judgment can change the path you want to follow. Having thousands of years worth of pain impose your brain in form of memories, messes you up. But even with all that, he kept moving forward. Making his limited time alive account for something instead of sitting back, accepting fate. Following the battle of Eren vs himself, exploring his hypocritical, contradicting, sympathetic mind, has been an absolute pleasure. I don’t think you can learn enough.

You know how you wish you didn’t care about what people thought of you? Or social norms? He never did. Even from a young age. The way his mind works and how he never shy’s away from his beliefs. There are many parts of Eren I look up to. Like how he’s always a raw version of himself. There are also many traits of his that I relate to. His anger, grief, his self hatred. The part I can’t relate to is the sheer willpower he has. Eren is a literal physical manifestation of pursuing his will. Not naturally intelligent like Armin, not physically strong like Mikasa. He moves forward, alone, only through the strength of his mind. He grew up in a loving home, yet killed ruthlessly as a kid. It’s the ultimate discussion about Nature vs nurture. I know he helped a lot of people like he did with me, the level of nuances are insane and there’s tons to discuss. But I just wanted to talk a bit about why i love him so much, even if it’s just for myself. One thing that i know many of us can relate to is how lonely Eren felt through his hardest times. Yes, he was surrounded by people but no one ever asked him what was wrong, even though he had visibly changed. And even though being alone is “what he wanted, we all know he wouldn’t mind a shoulder to cry on. Everyone has a limit. (My love for him is limitless.) There’s nothing I don’t appreciate about his character. Happy birthday, Eren ♡

#Eren’s birthday 2023 #pin #eren jaeger #attack on titan #eren #shingeki no kyojin #aot #Happy birthday my beloved #eren yeager #anime #mikasa ackerman #analysis #ish?#manga

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misaverawrites · 2 years

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Hey hun! i wanted to request a derek shepherd x fem peds surgeon reader with jealous sex and degradation after reader flirts with arizona to make him jealous! thank you so much!

💗💗

Closer (Derek Shepherd x Reader) *SMUT*

summary: derek get jealous of the attention you give to arizona, he needs to remind you of who you’re with.

tags: SMUT, dirty shameless SMUT, dirty talk (words used: whore, etc.) spanking, kissing, jealous sex, possessive sex.

a/n: girl, this request- this request was made along two other smut reqs and they awoke smth inside of me lmao.

It was a mistake, you knew as well as that going into this. The temptation was more than enough to jump your thought process into this idea, however.

You and Derek had been having sex together for a while, his divorce with Meredith had been something of a messy one, with the kids and he couldn’t deal with a relationship. You’d respected his wishes earlier on, but now, he was acting like you were his girlfriend without any commitment, and something about him treating you that way rubbed you the wrong way. You’d decided that if Derek wasn’t going to be willing to treat you like a girlfriend around your co-workers, you’d be treating him like a fling as well.

“Dr. Robbins,” You smile at the woman in question, “I heard about you and Doctor Torres, I honestly just wanted to say that… if you ever need someone to talk to, maybe a little more… don’t ever hesitate to ask.” The woman in question laughs a bit, stroking a lock of hair behind her ear nervously, “Doctor L/N, I’m not sure how appropriate it is to have you flirting with me, especially since I apparently have a bit of a reputation.” You shake your head, leaning into her as you look away just for a second to notice that you’ve caught Derek’s gaze, he’s watching the scene before him with no hint of expression, you want more from him and you’ll do more to get it. “Arizona, a reputation doesn’t mean you can’t have a little bit of fun, in an on-call room, with an intern or something, someone a little more experienced even?” She rolls her eyes at you but leans in just a bit more towards you, and that’s when you see movement from the corner of your eye, Derek was moving in right now, like a predator to his prey, unaware that this was the trap that you’d laid out for him.

“Doctor Robbins, I apologize but I’m going to need Doctor L/N for a consult. Right now.” The force he’d used to say consult as he grabbed your wrist, you knew you were in trouble, Arizona didn’t get a chance to say much of anything as you were dragged away, waving goodbye with a small flit of your fingers. He was brash, dragging you away like this in the open, he was usually much more subtle, not that the doctors didn’t have an idea or subtle suspicion that the two of you were sleeping together. He opened the on-call room door, swiftly pushing it open and slamming it shut, he locked the door and pushed you against the cheap sheets on the on-call room bed. It reminded you fondly of when you two had started sleeping together before he’d seemed godlike, a surgical legend. Now, in all of his vulnerability, humanity, and jealousy, he was simply a man, one who clearly felt strongly enough to want you deeply.

His lips attacked yours with a jealous fervor, biting your bottom lip softly, not enough to hurt but enough to sting the nerves residing there. His hands untie the strings of your scrub bottoms, and you lift your hips in compliance as he slides them off. “Is this what you wanted? You wanted me to get jealous of you flirting with another one of your bosses, honestly, I’m not surprised.” He pulls his shirt off in a swift motion, you felt a twinge of excitement between your thighs, a spark of electricity as he shakes his head, “It’s how we started fucking, you just couldn’t keep it in your pants… such a whore, it’s a good thing you’re smart.” His words, though harsh arouse you all the more. He helps you out of your scrub top, your back is against his chest as you feel the length of his cock, hard against the small of your back. It strains against his scrub pants and it makes you feel proud, you’ve made an equally prideful man desperate for you with just a few words and actions, his hands wrap into your hair, yanking your head to where your neck is exposed.

The feeling of his teeth against your neck is a welcome one, he unties the knot in his scrub pants as his teeth scrape against the flesh of your neck, clamping softly, and your fingers wrap around the fabric of the pants, pulling them off languidly as they fall to his ankles with a muted thud. You turn your head just a bit more, his access to your neck is furthered as he bites softly up and down, he unlatches, looking into your eyes as the wet bites on your neck being to hurt, you know there’ll be something of a bruise later, but for now, you’re throwing caution to the wind as Derek pulls your body closer into his. “You know you’re mine, you’re only mine, no one else can have you. Not Arizona, nobody.” He snarls a bit, his fingers gripping into your thighs, in the morning there’ll be bruises in his shape, a comforting thought.

“I’m only yours, Der, you know I know that.” You whisper softly as he chuckles deeply, shaking his head, “Do you? Or did you forget that while you were flirting with Arizona, thinking about having her fingers deep inside of you when only I what makes you tick, the things that make you wet, when I fuck you?” He slides fingers under your panties, slipping in one finger and then two into your wet cunt, he pumps the digits in momentarily, it’s almost lazy, like the way that he teases you when you two have the day off, soft and slow, “Is this what you wanted?” He asks you, not really looking for much of an answer, but you shake your head nonetheless, “Der I want-“ He cuts you off with a sharp smack to the ass with his other hand, “Frankly, I don’t care what you want right now, you’re lucky I’m even willing to finger you right now, you whore.” You gasp at the sting but even more so as he bites at the soft flesh of your thighs, sliding the wet fabric of your panties off of you. “I’m going to fuck you like you need because clearly, you’re getting a little too bored… we can’t have that, can we?” You shake your head, with any words you have stuck in your throat and in your head as Derek’s tongue makes slight movements against the lips of your pussy.

It’s a feeling you’d never wish to escape, the overwhelming pleasure of an extremely talented surgeon going down on you with all that he has, by now you’d been thrown off of his lap, a bright red handprint still remaining from his earlier smack. Hands rubbed over your clit which was now large with arousal as his tongue fucked the inside of your cunt, lapping up the wet arousal that spilled from inside of it. Your legs were thrown over his shoulders as he ate your pussy like a man possessed, and he was. He was a man possessed by jealousy and he wanted to show you just what you could be missing. You watched as his eyes met yours, tongue still deep inside of you, licking with the most sure of intent, that is until it stops. The arousal still heavy in the air as you look down at him, between your legs, a smirk on his face, hints of your arousal still coated on his stubble. He leans up over you again, kissing you softly, a difference between the earlier aggresion he’d exhibited, the taste of you coats the kiss as he pulls away, “You want me to fuck you? See what else you’d be missing… Fuck, I love you too much to lose you, you know that?” You whine softly, feeling the bulge of his boxers rubbing against your arousal. “You want that, sweetheart? You wanna get fucked like a whore?” You nod pitifully as he smiles, rolling the boxers off of his body.

His cock springs from the confines of his boxers, thick and proud, a dribble of pre-cum dripping from the head. “Fuck me, Derek, please!” The desperation in your voice is his driving force, Derek growing desperate himself, his cock presses against your soaked cunt, slowly sinking into the heat of your pussy. “Shit, so fucking tight, squeezing me so well, baby.” He sheathes himself fully inside of you, making it feel almost hard to breathe as he begins to thrust inside of you, soft and steady at first, before he thrusts his body weight into you, hard and slow. The first thrust hits you like a bag of rocks, you barely have enough time to recover as Derek continues to slam into you, with one thrust that slams against your G-Spot having you seeing stars. Your moans only muffled by the pillow that Derek shoved you into as to muffle your sounds from the outside. “You like that? Yeah, I can feel the way you’re tightening around me, you wanna cum?” He asks as you moan, indignant and a bit fucked out at this point, nodding as your head lulls back into the pillow. “Then cum, baby. Cum on my cock, sweetheart. Cum for me.” You nod, letting the waves of pleasure wash over you as you feel your orgasm smash into you with Derek’s final thrust, the hot spurts of cum unloading inside of you. Derek pulls out of you carefully, laying down on the cheap, now dirty, bed with you.

“Why’d you flirt with Arizona?” He asks, breathlessly, legs intertwining with yours. You shake your head, sighing, “I need some kind of commitment from you, for us. In words, Derek.” He looks down at you as you plant your head on his chest. “God, you know I love you, I’m sorry… I guess it was always assumed or something? Okay, Y/N will you be my committed, loving girlfriend?” He asks, half-joking but you nod, smiling at him. “Yes, thank you Doctor Shepherd, my boyfriend.” He looks at you moving to where your eyes meet one another, “Can you promise me something though?” You look quizzical but you have a sneaking suspicion what it could be, “Could you just not flirt with Arizona again? Or anyone for that matter… When Addison slept with Mark, it broke me. I can’t go through that with you.” You nod, planting your head against his chest one more time, “Of course, I’m sorry for hurting you, Derek. I love you.”

At that moment, the only word you could use to describe it was perfect.

#derek shepherd x reader #derek shepherd #x reader #fanfiction #grey's fanfiction #grey's fanfic #grey's spoilers #grey's abc #grey's anatomy #derek grey's anatomy #greys anatomy #grey's #grey's anatomy fanfiction #grey's anatomy imagine #greys fanfic #greys abc

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sleepy-lil-kit-kat · 6 months

Note

your fic with hades was SO CUTE!!! i loved it! :D i was wondering if you could do something else with him? it can be anything!!! i think he would be super protective as a cg!!! maybe meg and hercules question his ability to watch over a regressor, thinking their not safe with him. i dunno just a thought!! thank you!!

skies will be gray

~600 words, not on ao3

same as before, disney's hercules and some Greek mythology. set ambiguously post-canon

cg!hades, regressor!reader, ascended-to-godhood!reader. due to being from a pov that is very attached to hades, not wholly sympathetic to meg and hercules. hurt/comfort

i ought to admit, this... isn't my best work, lol. i rewatched hercules and it still didn't feel right, but i felt bad letting the request sit too long in my inbox. Meg and Hercules are... sorta the villains here? they're doing it from a place of caring, and Meg has a lotta issues with Hades... they're not bad guys really, but they are making a mistake (maybe one i might write them fixing later. who knows!)

- k!nk/nsfw please dni! this is a sfw age regression post! -

requests are open! see my pinned <3

"Lord Hercules, Lady Megara. My Lord speaks of you both." You clutch your chiton tightly as you look at the two heroes, trying not to betray your nerves too strongly. Or betray the fact that you really, truly, do not want to speak.

"My father's mentioned you as well." You stiffen up at that, even though it's probably just the usual gossip that goes around when a mortal ascends. Probably, most likely, flavoured with that disdain for Hades and those that live with the dead that all the gods above have.

"I see. Well, please excuse me, but I must be getting on with my duties." The formal mask serves you well, here.

"What exactly is your domain? Hades is as close-lipped as ever on the matter."

"Well, Lady Megara, I don't–see how it is of any concern to you. Please excuse me." You bow shortly, then step back and let your form dissolve into smoke, so that you can be on your way. So that you can escape.

(It's quite likely, you think, that you'll need to sit with Hades for a while when you get back. And he'll rant about how the gods favour the heroes born to them, but you don't mind that.)

"You manage to get that stubborn ghost back down here?" Hades is as ever, and that in itself is enough to calm you just a little.

Mechanically, you nod, then sit yourself down on your cushion, letting yourself go sort of limp.

"Stressful time up there, huh? You ran into someone?"

For a second time, you nod, and hold up two fingers so that he can see.

"Two someones, huh? Don't worry, kid, barely anyone's likely to come down here after you."

You flinch.

"Ran into someones who... might?" He himself sounds hesitant now, though he hides it well. "It wasn't Hercules and Megara, though, right?"

Though you don't say anything, your stillness is answer enough.

"Oh, mercy," he says, and then you spy, at a distance, the two heroes. Hades rises to his feet, and so do you, clinging to the fabric of his robes as though it's anchoring you to reality. "So nice to meet again, heroes," he drawls."

"You've been hurting the godling."

Rapidly, you shake your head, but you don't think they see it.

"Hades, we spoke to them earlier, and they said–"

"They spoke? That's strike one, then, because if they can help it, they don't." Hades's firey hair turns red as he interrupts Hercules. "Go on, why do you think I'm hurting the kid."

"You're hardly the best candidate to care for anyone!" Megara's eyes are practically burning as she says it. You know of their history, you know that she has every reason to think this, but–

You tremble slightly, clinging tighter to Hades.

"Get out."

"But-"

"Get. Out."

Even faced with the god's wrath, his form covered in ruby-red flame, they don't back down. Hercules puffs up more "Not unless-"

"Stop it," you whisper, unable to take much more of this.

Improbably, the two heroes hear you. Hercules pales, and they both–

–they say something to each other, and then they leave.

There's a beat. Hades turns, crouches down. "Hey, hey kid," he says, tone oh so gentle, gentler than you think you've ever heard it before, despite the rage that he'd been in just a minute ago. (He'd... he'd calmed himself, for you.) "Those idiots are gone now, yeah?"

You nod, slowly.

He sighs slightly, though it's not you he seems aggravated at, and lifts you up. Unlike what usually happens though, he just holds you there. Like a moth to a flame, you press yourself closer to him, soaking up his shadowy-safe presence. In his arms, you're so small, so protected. Nothing could ever hurt you.

All is right with the world.

#sfw agere #lil kit kat content #fandom agere #disney agere #hercules agere #agere fic

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im-overstimulated-and-im-sad · 26 days

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Hi Kerry, here are some Nice Ask Weeks questions for you!!

1. What about TK’s character interested you the most in exploring his backstory, and what made you decide to explore what it would have been like had he had a little sister?☺️

2. If we were to get a flashback in s5 to a point in TK’s life, at what age would you prefer the flashback to be set?

3. What about the show made you join the fandom and is this the first fandom you’ve been in?:)

I wish you a wonderful weekend🌼☺️🌼☺️

Hi Mar! 😍💝

Oh my.... first off, I want to apologize for how unhinged the answer to this question might get and also in advance if I give you a bunch of information you didn't want- The biggest reason is the cliche reason of write the fic you yourself would want to read. I came into the LS fandom when season three had just aired, and I adored TK and Owen's relationship in the first season, and the third season did this SO dirty - like there were literally so many times they could have, should have included a scene for them and just didn't- and because of this/the Gwyn stuff, when I went looking for sweet Strand family feels fic, if it didn't have a publication date of 2020, was some version of, "Gwyn is the ONLY parent TK has ever known and Owen was not there for TK once, IN HIS LIFE, they were basically STRANGERS the day TK didn't come to work and Owen clocked that as something being wrong - and I respect everyone's right to write whatever fic they want. I would never tell any of those writers I didn't agree with them, because they had their opinion and I had mine (also I'm sorry I make way too many references, please throw something at me) but in the show The Good Wife, there's a judge who makes every lawyer preface their statements with "in my opinion" and I was like is that a nifty idea! Because I'm not going to say my take on their relationship is THE right one because it's just how I see it. Before I started my long fic I was just writing cute Strand family stories that are shorter because I didn't find those, so I wrote them. Also (and there is a very long, unhinged post that I don't think I'll ever be brave enough to write about how much it grinds my gears they killed Gwyn off) but I truly hate that they killed her off, I don't think it was the right decision or that it has served TK's character arc, and also, I think Gwyn and Owen are such strong characters and they both love their family so fiercely. Which brings us to the cliched reasons - the things of write what you know and only you could write this fic this way, I was like pfft so made up, and then I spent a year writing a fic over 200,000 words with no end in sight about children of divorce who felt very loved by their parents... and realized that yes, this was written by a child of divorce who felt very loved by her parents. Like in the show, I was also seven when my parents divorced (albeit for a much, much more cliched of a reason) and something that I really strongly see and relate to is that despite what has happened, TK loves and has always felt loved by his parents, and has never had to question that. It doesn't mean they haven't let him down and it doesn't mean that everything's perfect- it's like an early episode of Scrubs where their parents all visit and Dr. Cox tells JD, "Every one of our parents does considerable emotional damage". This is very true, and (I swear I'm trying to be concise and just failing) and I know that so many people's parents fail their kids in this respect and they don't get to have that relationship, but if you do have that bond that the Strands do and that love is never questioned (especially as TK has stated his parents were there for him any time he relapsed), then you look past the times they didn't measure up because they mean so much to you; and I really see that in TK's relationships with both his parents. And TK is just so sweet and so caring and if there are too many characters on TV that are an only child I will be like .... but what if they were a big brother/sister? (Me watching the first three years of teen wolf: why do none of them have brothers and sisters lol) Also because (this probable doesn't come as a surprise given that it's 50 chapters deep lol) writing TK as a big brother is really, really fun for me - because he would be the kid who was so excited his mom was having a baby and wanted to help as much as he could and tell his whole class it's his baby - TK Strand is a character that is very fun to write at any age

I would love to see a flashback to the beginning of his relationship with Alex; just because I'm so curious about what it was about Alex that made TK want to propose, (this would also be hard because it would be so different from his relationship with Carlos, but it's a very curious time to me)

It's the first fandom I've been in like this; probably yes, cause I don't think any other fandoms (like Teen Wolf) I was actively a part of like wrote for it- I did not expect to love this show this much - I'm a big parks and rec/west wing/outsiders fan and was like Rob Lowe as a dad- well sure- and then by the time the title card aired I was like "WHAT IS THIS SHOW" like it still amazes me how fleshed out almost every character is in the pilot/first season. Like - I hadn't written anything for 13 years before I started watching LS- but the characters they provided us with were too good to ignore

Thank you for the ask 🥰- and sorry I ramble too much 🫣🫣

#answered asks #nice ask week #911 lone star

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shychick-52 · 1 year

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My boi Jughead and how I discovered I was aspec (long post)

(Reposted from my defunct blog)

So, to start off, I'm cishet. But all my life, I've felt different. Even as a teenager I never had the desire to have a boyfriend, or so much as date anybody. I never even crushed on anybody. I've never kissed anyone in my life. And... yeah, I'm a- yeah, you get the idea. I've never been turned on by anyone or anything in my life.

Well into my adulthood, I stopped thinking I was a late bloomer and that something was seriously fucking wrong with me. I felt like a robot or an alien. I felt like a freak. I always hated myself for it, but at the same time, I could never force myself to fall in love or feel attraction or even try hooking up with anybody (as tempted as I've been, just to feel like a normal human being), let alone get married. I always knew, as abnormal as it was, I was happier single and free. I just never cared about it or wanted it, period. But I still hated myself, and felt like a total abnormal weirdo.

On the other hand, it's not that I fail to appreciate that somebody's good-looking. I can sometimes appreciate somebody's looks, but without having any desire to get to know them, let alone sleep with them. But it's not like I even always notice a person's looks; sometimes it stands out to me, sometimes not. And my eyes or thoughts never gravitate to their ass at all.

And here's the interesting thing, and this is important for later. I actually enjoy scenes in media (even fanfiction) where a couple is dating or snuggling or talking cute to one another- I'm a total sucker for fluff in fiction, I admit! It's sweet, it's adorable, it gives me all the feels! And even though it's never been a priority at all in my life, I admit that if I got to know somebody well enough- very well- maybe I could see myself dating them and experiencing those sweet, special, fuzzy moments too (which is why I identity as demiromantic).

...But for the most part, I draw the line at sex (including foreplay), whether in fiction or my own life. ESPECIALLY pure smut or anything hardcore.

I've always related very strongly to Jughead Jones from the Archie comics. Even as a kid, he was my favorite character. He never cared about romance or dating; in fact, it totally repelled him. He literally ran from girls! Hormone-driven the boy was not, unlike his friends! And... unlike me, he totally didn't question it. He was comfortable in his 'weirdness', he embraced it, he totally accepted himself. I always envied how he was so cool with being so out-of-place in society and not caring what others thought of him. Like me, ol' Juggy was much happier enjoying food or a good nap. I used to wonder if Jughead was gay, except he never wanted to be involved with anybody.

Then in 2015, Archie Comics rebooted their flagship title. And Jughead- who'd been around since the 40s like the rest of the Archie gang, LONG before being ace or aro was even a thing- was officially established as ace in the rebooted comic (but nothing was mentioned about him being aro too/aroace, oddly enough, but it was still strongly implied he is).

That was the very first time I'd heard of the term 'asexual.' I was intrigued, as well as curious. So, I looked it up... and suddenly, EVERYTHING. MADE. SENSE. About Jughead, and more importantly, myself. Around the same time, I also discovered the term 'aromantic', which equally applies to Jughead. Jughead is, and always has been... aroace.

On the aspectrum, I'm demiromantic and sex-repulsed. I'm more tolerant with sex scenes in media- and maybe the idea of sex for me personally- if it's deep and meaningful in a long-time relationship already built on love, trust, and respect. And tbh, I think I'm a little demisexual too (although mostly ace) because of those strong values of mine. I don't ever want to have sex with anybody, but if I did, I would only want it to be with somebody I've established a real bond with and have known/trusted for a long time.

To this day, even after learning that I'm aspec and that I'm NOT alone, I still struggle with accepting myself. It's not nearly as bad as it used to be. But it's still something I go through.

Oh. And here's a perfect example of how they could've totally brought in more ace/aroace representation in Hollywood, but fucked up... on the worst level imaginable. CW's Riverdale, which came out in 2017. You'd think they would've stuck to the decades-long source material with Jughead, right? Especially after he'd been officially established as aroace in recent years, right? WRONG. They put him in a relationship with Betty. And a few other women on the show, but mostly Betty.

FRIGGING WHAT? JUGHEAD'S ALWAYS BEEN A LONE WOLF, HE DOESN'T DO RELATIONSHIPS- THAT'S HIS BIGGEST TRAIT (aside from eating). To break decades worth of canon is just inexcusable, but especially after they FINALLY establish him as aroace and give some much needed representation... I can't fucking even. Just. WHAT. And Archie Comics was actually behind the show, so they REALLY have no excuse. Even Cole Sprouse, Jughead's actor, was pissed.

#aspec #asexual #aromantic #demiromantic #demisexual #aroace #jughead jones

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apollos-boyfriend · 2 years

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Why is twitter so obsessed with goldenduo, but specifically the fic dynamic goldenduo that isn't present in canon? Like it's more prevalent than beeduo in fics now. What is happening?

there are a few reasons i can see that could've caused this. most probably overlap, and they're all just theories/obversations, but here's my two cents about it

there's an "imbalance" in benchtrio

as popularity in beeduo rose, tommy was left out more and more of the dynamic. benchtrio still was popular, but as was seen in lore streams, he felt left out due to how close beeduo grew while he was dead/gone. to balance that out and give him his own duo outside of those two, purpled was thrust forward. eryn wasn't on the server at the time (the benchtrio conflict around tommy's revival happened in around march of 2021, while eryn joined in october), so there wasn't anyone else "his age" to pair him off with. (i say "his age" in quotations because jack manifold is only two years older than tommy, however, there was the whole "trying to kill tommy" thing, so he was out of the question for these people.)

goldenduo became kind of the parallel for beeduo in these instances. there wasn't someone they could have the beeduo dynamic mirrored in with tommy, as clingy and allium have different dynamic styles, so they were forced to make their own. purpled, being young and his content creator being friendly with tommy in the past, just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. which leads me into the next point:

2. these people do not care for purpled's actual character/do not know his character

there are two sections the people who write goldenduo like that fall into. either a. "i don't know cpurpled lore, so i'll just mold him to fit whatever i want him to be" or b. "cpurpled is a villain and irredeemable, so i shall rewrite him into being palatable and friendly instead, since i do not like his canon self". there's a third category, technically, of "i do not actually understand cpurpled/cpurpled's lore on a thematical and analytical sense and just see what i want to see", but in my opinion, that's just another way to phrase group a.

people in group a are typically those that strongly push for the "manipulated minors" dynamic. they know purpled had his ufo blown up, and see him as having been "manipulated" by quackity into joining las nevadas, but know very little else about him. they write his personality not by c or cc, but by the echo chamber they've created for themselves based on the other three teens in the manipulated minors/cmyk dynamic. they draw from what they want a traumatized kid to be: scared, paranoid, touch-starved, etc. which is something i've talked about before; "palatable" trauma responses vs "problematic/unwanted" trauma responses, in which benchtrio are seen as good and right for largely being the "good" kind traumatized who don't lash out in anger/hold "bad" emotions, while purpled is the "bad" kind who does. he's a blank slate for them, and as said above, with beeduo already being paired off, they need someone else for him to be a duo with. enter ctommy.

people in group b are largely the same. they're just much more aware of how cpurpled acts in canon, instead of just pretending he's never like that. they just do what they want with him because he's not a "good" character (in the moral sense, not writing sense) and we can't have moral grayness, so he gets rewritten completely to be that "good". and if he's not, it's about tommy "rescuing" him and showing him how to be that "good" again, as if purpled ever was that in the first place.

3. twitter thinks beeduo fell apart/goldenduo have been interacting again

look. i don't know the beeduo "drama". it's not my business and as long as they're both still happy and okay, i could not care less. but there was the whole thing a while back with tubbo and ranboo where people thought they were no longer friends, to the point where ranboo had to ask people not to say he hates his friend, but even after that, twitter still kind of thinks they're dead. it's stupid and invasive, but it led to a decline in beeduo content, both c and cc-inspired.

on the other hand, goldenduo have had more interaction with each other than they have in like, at least a year. most of it is due to mcc, with them putting each other down for teams and overall speaking highly of each other as players, so there's traction for them once more. because of that (along with other aspects such as vol2 on the horizon opening up new opportunities for character interactions) there's been a skyrocket in goldenduo works.

#muse talk #fandom crit #fandom neg #its also because they dont know how to fucking be normal #hope this helps <3 #i did not know that they were more popular than b/eeduo HELP that's both so funny and so frustrating #because as you said. that is NOT cpurpled. that is not my baby (/ref)#oh also please feel free to add on anyone that has any ideas #this was all me spitballing as per usual

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