#i hurt the people i love most by not realizing that what they need is a listener not a fixer

[teenidlegirl]

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ❛ 𝓑𝐔𝐌𝐏 𝓘𝐍 𝓣𝐇𝐄 𝓝𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓. ❜

ઇ ˚ ݂ ֹ ꒰ miguel o’hara 𝓍 civilian!reader ꒱ ! ۟ ׅ ♡

. ˚◞ ♡ 𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚⠀˖ ࣪ ༘ you live in a world of comic book characters, just pure fiction. however, one night you stumble upon a man dressed in a strange costume who looks exactly like those comic book characters inside your house.

. ˚◞ ♡ 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕⠀˖ ࣪ ༘ fluff, little angst, goofiness, tension, mild suggestiveness (mdni), swearing, pet names, reader’s universe doesn’t have a spiderman, hispanic/latina!reader

( ꯭♡︎ ) ˖ ࣪ . love note ˒˒ randomly thought of this, enjoy! btw this is a repost because i originally posted this at the worst time ever. if you read this before, pretend it’s your first time again lmao.

you heard a light thud.

shutting off the water, you leave the unfinished soap covered dishes in the sink as you step away. drying your hands with a towel before tossing it in the sink as well. anxiety flows through your veins.

what the hell was that?

you live alone, besides your white terrier luna, in this house your parents left behind for you. you rarely invite people over due to work. the only time you do is for holidays, birthdays, or small gatherings with friends. other than that, you’re alone most of the time so hearing noises sorta freak you out.

maybe something dropped like one of your books from the bookshelf in your room. it’s an reoccurring thing. but it sounded so light for a book to drop. what else could possibly fell? was it even an object?

panic settles in your bones. glancing to your left where the living room is, you spot luna peacefully sleeping in her soft, periwinkle dog bed. of course she didn’t hear it, she’s far in doggie dreamland.

very slowly and quietly, you pull a knife out of the drawer and make your way towards the stairs. the noise came from up there. heart pumping out of your chest. blood rushing through your veins. frantic breathing due to the anxiety developing in you.

is it an intruder? a robber?

fuck. this is the last thing you wanted.

you just wanted to wash the dishes in peace before going to bed. why must this happen to you?

very slowly and steadily, you make your make upstairs. gripping onto the knife tightly, palm sweaty. your room is your first destination. as you make it up top, you can hear low grumbles from there.

fuck, there is someone here.

tightening your grip on the knife, you carefully walk towards your room. hiding behind the wall, right beside the doorframe, you turn a little to catch a sneak peek of the intruder. your eyes widen in shock.

a figure clad in a suit of vibrant red and dark blue. the fuck is that? a cosplay or something? you suddenly realize how tall the figure is. way too tall since your white dresser is literally half his size, right below his waistline. this bastard is muscular as fuck. broad back and his suit outlines each back muscle perfectly as if it’s sculpted. his shoulders also broad and thick. insane fucking biceps.

this dude is fucking ripped. he can murder you with his bare hands. probably snap you in half.

there is no way you can take this fucker down.

“este chingaletta…”

oh, he speaks spanish too? pinche cabrón.

the tall figure seems to be fiddling with something on his wrist. perhaps a watch or some sort.

inhaling a deep breath, you gain the courage to confront this intruder motherfucker. whether he’s a giant or not, he needs to get out of your house.

“get the fuck out of my house.”

the man swiftly turns around to see you standing at the door. the knife in your hand pointing at him. you witness the eyes of his odd-looking mask widening.

“hey… i’m not here to hurt you.” his voice is low and a bit musky. he slowly raises his hands in the air, a sign of surrender. “just put the knife down.”

“not a fucking chance.” you snarl with gritted teeth. “get the fuck out of my house or this knife is going straight through your fucking heart.”

a sigh escapes his lips, covered by his mask. “ay mujer… por favor, i’m not gonna hurt you.” his tone a mixture of pleading and frustration.

your eyes narrowed suspiciously. “hardly believable since you’re in my fucking house.”

he takes one step forward. “please just—“

“don’t!” you yelled.

“i’m not gonna hurt you! i’m not the bad guy here! i just accidentally teleported into your house!” he matches your voice level.

now you’re confused. “teleported? what do you mean teleported?”

another sigh from him, running a run over his masked face. “look, it’s hard to explain but trust me, it wasn’t my intention to barge into your house.”

“barge?!” you say in disbelief. “you’re invading my home! you’re a fucking intruder!”

“i’m not an intruder!” he exclaims, throwing his hands up. “at least it wasn’t my intention.”

you scoff. “pinches mentiras.” you eye him up and down. “what’s up with costume? this isn’t comic-con.” you gesture at his suit with the knife.

the man stares at you in disbelief but obviously you can’t tell because of his mask. “are you serious? you don’t know who or what i am?”

now the anger is replaced with confusion.

“what the fuck do you mean?”

“you don’t…” he quickly looks at the watch on his wrist, or what it appears to look like a watch. with a few taps, tiny holographic images pop up from it.

whoa, what the fuck? what kind of watch is that?

“that figures, you don’t have a spiderman in this universe.” he taps away the tiny images from the watch and looks back at you.

your face drops in utter confusion. “spiderman? the marvel character?”

“what? no—“ he sighs frustratingly.

“i’ve seen lots of cosplays but yours is different. cool but different. which spiderman are you supposed to be?” you lower the knife down to your side.

he blinks at you. “that’s not important. and i’m not cosplaying or whatever the hell that is—“

“well, i definitely haven’t seen that version of him. kinda badass, not gonna lie. the costume is cool.”

spiderman groans, on verge of lashing out, rubbing the temples of his forehand with a hand. “for the last time, it’s not a costume.”

you quirk a brow. “right.”

miguel rolls his eyes, growing more frustrated and irritated. “i don’t have time for this.” he grumbles, fiddling with his watch again. “chingado…” the man groans out of frustration. his gizmo isn’t working.

“having issues?” you taunt.

“cállete.” he hissed, still fiddling with his gizmo.

you snort as you walk towards him. “what kind of watch is that?” you tilt your head, staring at it curiously. it’s definitely more advanced.

“not a watch, a gizmo and i made it.”

your eyes perk up. “you made it? ooo lemme see.”

as you go try to touch it, he pulls back. “don’t.”

“oh come on, stop being ridiculous.” you try touching it again but he keeps pulling back.

“don’t touch it.” he scowls.

“sheesh, protective much?”

miguel rolls his eyes and you can definitely tell this time. “don’t you understand the concept of not touching what’s not yours?”

“i’m trying to help you, tonto.”

he scoffs. “you can’t help. you don’t understand how this works, mamona.”

now you roll your eyes this time. “fine, whatever. have fun struggling with your stupid ass watch.” you walk away, leaving the spiderman guy in your room.

━━━━━━━━ ִ ۫ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ۫ ݂ ━━━━━━━━

not even 10 minutes, the spiderman guy heads downstairs and joins you in the kitchen. you continue washing the dishes you abandoned earlier. as you stack up the last dish, you head footsteps approaching. turning around while drying your hands with a towel, you see him standing on the opposite side of the kitchen island.

“couldn’t get it work, huh?” you taunt, smirking.

“cállete.” he scowls.

luna awakes from her slumber, stretching out in her little bed then hopping out of it before she starts barking at spiderman.

“¡ay!” he exclaims, startled by the barking. “can you tell your dog to stop barking?!”

“nope.” you shrug, making him groan. “she barks at people wearing masks so… if you want her to stop, you know what to do.”

he mutters something before deactivating his mask. it disintegrates, revealing his identity. immediately and like mentioned, luna stops barking.

holy shit. he’s handsome as fuck.

chocolate wavy hair. eyes with hues mahogany. the sharpest cheekbones you’ve ever seen on a person, let alone a man. very, very plump lips.

“oh shit, you’re hot.” you blurt out.

miguel stares at you with wide eyes. hints of reddish pink on his cheeks, feeling warm. heart skipping a beat. “uh… thanks…?” he averts your gaze, trying to conceal his bashful face.

“damn, you’re the most attractive spiderman cosplayer i’ve ever seen.”

a groan escapes his lips, pinching the bridge of his nose with a hand. “chingado contigo… i’m not a cosplayer, i’m actually spiderman.”

you snort. “right, right.”

“is the gizmo not enough proof for you?! or the fact my mask disintegrated?!”

you ponder for a moment. sure, the watch is heavily advanced. watching his mask disintegrate is definitely a phenomenon. holy shit - is this guy really spiderman? at least a version of him?

“okay, fair points.” you awkwardly clear your throat. “so… you’re actually spiderman?”

“yes.” he shoots you an unimpressed look, clearly fed up with your oblivious attitude.

“which one?”

“2099.”

you raise a brow. “spiderman 2099? as in the year 2099?” you fold your arms over your chest.

“as unbelievable it sounds, yes.” instinctively, his eyes immediately glance down at your chest for a moment. your cleveage sticks out more with your folded arms. the cups of your nightdress hugs it perfectly. fuck, why did he look? yeah he’s a man but miguel feels like a pervert. he hopes you don’t notice.

you did but you don’t care. you don’t sense creepy vibes from him. just a dude who happens to be spiderman from the future or some shit.

“so you’re from the future?”

“technically yes but from a different universe.” miguel watched your eyes pop out in surprise. he groans internally, knowing this was coming soon.

“a different universe? what the fuck is this ‘rick and morty’ shit?” you huff.

his brows furrowed in confusion. “wha— no, listen. yes, a different universe. there are an infinite amount of universes of spider people called the arachnohumanoid polymultiverse.”

you stare at him completely dumbfounded. “that is literally the most nerdiest shit i’ve ever heard.”

miguel frowns. “well, that’s what it’s called.”

“stupid name.”

his expression falls flat. “your opinion is irrelevant.”

“it’s a fact, stupid long ass name. change it when you get back to wherever the hell you’re from.” you turn away, opening the cabinet to grab something.

“you’re annoying.” he sounds irritated.

“i am but i’m truthful.” you grab a container of conchas you recently bought. you set it on the island then head over to the coffee maker near the fridge. “quieres algo? un concha, café?”

he observes you with a dumbfounded expression. “you’re offering coffee and sweets?”

“well, you’re practically stuck here until who knows how long so…” you pour coffee in your favorite mug. “do you want coffee or not?”

miguel remains silent for a moment. taken aback by your generosity. nobody has ever treated him with such kindness or even ask him what he wants. it’s true, it’s uncertain when he’ll return to his universe. he’ll have to remain here for the time being. for some reason, he doesn’t mind staying here, with you.

“uh… si, pro favor.” he said sheepishly.

you grab another mug and pour coffee inside. once both mugs are filled, you turn around and slide his mug across the island.

“gracias.” miguel grabs the mug and brings it up to his lips. a low hum of approval as he tastes the warm, delicious liquid. normally he prefers black coffee for work but this one is acceptable.

you two talk for a while over coffee and sweets. miguel explaining the multiverse. talking about the spider society and its origins. his universe and life. everything seems so fascinating yet bizarre. apparently spiderman, or a shit ton of versions of the comic book character, actually exist. that’s a total mindfuck. part of you believes this could be a dream, hence why you pinched yourself several throughout the conversation. but, it was real. he was real.

“after all this time, you never told me your name.”

he takes a sip of his coffee then carefully placed on the counter. “miguel o’hara.”

you respond with your name, taking a sip of your coffee and a bite of your pink concha.

as the night progresses, you and miguel talk for hours. learning more about each other. miguel still finds it strange how things change drastically. he accidentally transported to a universe that has no spiderman. accidentally transported into a random woman’s house and being accused as an intruder. now having coffee and sweets with the woman he just met, having a genuine conversation.

part of him is still concern about how or when he’ll return to his universe. if his gizmo will ever be fixed and work properly again. but considering the environment he’s in, warm and cozy, miguel isn’t in a rush. in fact, he enjoys your company. it’s been a while since he actually sat down and had a genuine conversation with someone. back in his universe, he doesn’t have anyone. but in this universe, he does.

and he likes that.

maybe being stuck here won’t be so bad.

© teenidlegirl. don’t steal, plagiarize, or translate my work. ♡

#꒰ ˖ ࣪ . 𐙚 ⊹ ꒱ — 𝓞𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓 .ᐟ #miguel o’hara x fem!reader #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o'hara x fem!reader #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o’hara x y/n #miguel o’hara x you #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara fanfiction #miguel o’hara fanfiction #miguel o'hara fluff #miguel o’hara fluff #miguel o'hara angst #miguel o’hara angst #across the spiderverse

[dollypopup]

Forgive the rant, but it's been weighing heavy on my heart. So much of the speculation of the Lady Whistledown reveal is the nail biting of 'Oh, I hope it's not too bad for Pen!' or justifying how her actions as LW actually weren't that bad in hopes to minimize the fallout

But there seems to be so little care to the fact that Penelope hiding it from him is going to break Colin's heart.

He is so elated to be with Penelope because he feels like this is the one person he can truly unmask with, that he can reveal all his cards to, and be accepted, and he is going to realize that is a one sided feeling in his relationship. Not only did Penelope feel she couldn't unmask in the past, but she feels she cannot do so even after their engagement. Even after he has reassured her of how much he cares for her and how much he trusts her.

I know everyone wants to skip over the angst of it and get to the 'oh look, they're so happy in love!' but y'all

Penelope is going to hurt him. He put his heart in her hands and she's going to crush it. He's going to have to look in the eye the fact that she didn't trust him enough to inform him of this very large part of her life, and he's going to understand that she kept it from him purposefully. Yes, she has her reasons, but like. . .that's painful. It's a slap in the face. Is it fully understandable her not telling him right after he asks? Or before? Of course! A lot happened! She had the most intimate experience of her life in the back of that carriage, and she'd gone through a lot of ups and downs that night, but after that excitement simmered and she had a chance to breathe, she should have told him.

But she doesn't.

Worse, she decides he simply doesn't have to know.

The fact that Eloise has to put an ultimatum on it at all is proof of that. Colin is falling in love with half of Penelope, and she's making it so that he does so on purpose. She is actively hiding half of herself from his eyes, and regardless of reason, when one party of the relationship is open and vulnerable, and the other is secretive, the secretive party is doing their partner a disservice.

Right now the person who has poured the work into the relationship is Colin. He has confessed his feelings first, he made all the big moves, he openly declared his interest in her, he proposed, he proved to her that he finds her desirable, he has hit every single love language in the BOOK. He's said repeatedly how wonderful she is, he's given her an engagement ring, bought them a house, he's chased down her carriage, he asked for those lessons to spend more time with her, he's had physical touch aplenty.

But I feel like so much of us as an audience are riding on the fact that we know Penelope has pined for Colin for a long time, and not understanding that Colin does not know that. And even if he does, she has not shown him that she loves him.

And I need to see Penelope pour into him an equitable amount as he's poured into her. They're both two people who embody 'I want to be so full of love, I forget what it's like to be hungry', and we forget that both of them have been denied affection. This fandom sympathizes the most with Penelope to the point where we don't want to see that Colin has also been pushed to the wayside. This man is starving for love and romance. Not just to love, but also to be loved.

People forget that Colin has been denied affection from his family, from his sexual experiences, even from Penelope. She didn't write back to him the same way his siblings didn't. Colin has been disparaged in his household, too. He's been made to feel like a burden, like he has no right to family funds, hell, he was all but called a pathetic virgin in Season 1 by his own brother, the head of his household, and his mum and Daphne and Anthony all assumed that he needed his messes cleaned up for him and he says aloud no one takes him seriously.

I want to see Colin be loved. I need to see it.

It's not a scorecard, I get that, but if you look at it objectively, Colin has done so much in his relationship with Pen, and she's lying to him. She's keeping from him a secret that reinforces what others have said of him: that he's gullible, naive, too trusting, someone that needs his muck ups solved for him, just a foolish boy caught up in his fantasies. And when the truth of Penelope's deception comes out, and he's going to question if all those people were right all along, and questioning his trust in himself (because, mind, this is the second woman who has said she loves him and has been keeping a huge secret from him, if that happened to me, I'd be closing my heart off for a very long time), he's going to need her to mend the wound that she'll pry open.

Colin said a hurtful thing about Penelope in Season 2, and then spent Part 1 of Season 3 soothing the pain that caused her. Now, Penelope is doing a hurtful thing to Colin, and she will have to heal that hurt, too. He is a tender, soft-hearted person who trusts her completely, and is falling arse over elbow for her, only to then get tripped up on her own web of wires and do a barrel roll in the dirt. And I know they'll choose each other, I know.

But after she helps him up, I need to see Penelope romance Mr. Bridgerton, assuredly, fervently, loudly.

Because he deserves to be.

#colin bridgerton #polin #bridgerton #penelope featherington #lady whistledown #i just love colin and i want the world for him #i adore him so much #he is so relatable to me in a way so few characters are and it is important for him to have a beautiful love story #right now he's a prince in penelope's tale but why shouldn't HE be wooed too? why can't we acknowledge that she has the power to hurt him? #and hurt him deeply? #and that if she hurts him deeply she needs to make it right? #the same way he did? #and frankly his harm was considerably less painful than hers #idk i just want more for him than one episode of 'you made me feel bad' and then kiss about it #if you don't come to sweep this man off his feet penelope i will do it MYSELF

[brainrot-of-a-thot]

you’re taken by kyotaro sugishita…

a/n: this boy has honestly been on my mind a lot lately – nearly as much as kaji 🫠 he just seems like?? such a wholesome lover??? and like there’s just so little content on him???

wc: 1.3k

c/w: I tried to make this as gn!reader as possible, though I do write as a female so… I hope it can still be gn! fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, relationship headcanons, lots of feels y’all

৲ kyotaro sugishita falls in love slowly — and completely unawares.

৲ [lyric inspo: “why do you do this to me; why do you this so easily? you make it hard to smile because you make it hard to breathe.” — why, secondhand serenade.]

truthfully, he doesn’t exactly realize it’s happening, mostly because it’s such a slow progression; but also because he never truly stops to think about it.

there’s just little things that occur that most people (including sugishita himself) wouldn’t think twice about — such as how he used to walk a few feet behind you; but time passes and he inches closer and closer, until the point that he’s walking half-behind you and half-beside you, as if simultaneously obscuring you from the world and hogging your space to himself.

or how songs that contain more romantic lyrics start to find their way into his playlist, words of which never made sense to him that now start to resonate with him echoing around his room softly from the speaker atop his desk. sugishita doesn’t understand why he’s starting to like them, or why he starts to lean on them more after a day of interactions with you.

sugishita doesn’t think much about the way you seem to slip into his mind more often than not, random snippets of you spanning like a film reel across his lids every time he blinks. doesn’t think about the way his heart races when you look at him, talk to him, or just generally notice him. doesn’t stop to wonder why he suddenly wants to reach out and touch you at random times. it just doesn’t occur to him to.

it only starts to click for sugishita when notices the pure anger and jealousy he feels when he catches you with another guy; the way his chest aches from the strained beating of his heart, the way his jaw starts to lock up from clenching his teeth so hard, the way his hands shake from the effort of holding himself back from simply dragging you away. but by the time it clicks, it’s already too late — he’s irrefutably in love, and there’s truly no erasing the feelings that have taken root inside him.

৲ kyotaro sugishita finds it incredibly difficult to come to terms with his feelings and pursue them.

৲ [lyric inspo: “I was born to tell you ‘I love you’ — and I am torn to do what I have to to make you mine; stay with me tonight.” — your call, secondhand serenade.]

sugishita, surprisingly, doesn’t struggle for long to adjust to these newfound feelings he’s experiencing — maybe a week at most.

what he does continue to struggle with, for months even, is how to act upon them. sugishita knows what he wants; he wants you — but he doesn’t know how to make that desire of his a reality.

and he’s scared to try.

so he’ll stew for months, simultaneously basking in and pining for your warmth, heart growing fonder of you with each and every second — until eventually, it’s too full, and he has no choice but to simply soothe the aching it feels. he does so by a touch of lips, a graze really, illuminated by a setting sun and shaky from nerves.

and when you reciprocate it, he feels like he’s finally found heaven on earth.

৲ kyotaro sugishita absorbs you completely into his system, until the thought of losing you aches so deeply it feels akin to dying.

৲ [lyric inspo: “if you leave me tonight, I’ll wake up alone; don’t tell me I will make it on my own — don’t leave me tonight, this heart of stone will sink ‘til it dies.” — stay close, don’t go, secondhand serenade.]

sugishita becomes attached on a level that penetrates further than just emotional; he’s attached to you on a level that transcends even his own comprehension.

he needs you in every aspect of his life, to the point that sometimes it feels as though he can’t breathe without you there — or function on any other basic level.

this doesn’t mean that sugishita is clingy or possessive — in fact, he’s quite… distant, at times. verbalizing these intense feelings for you is nearly impossible for him; in the beginning, you’d get lucky to get a mumbled “love you, too,” when you expressed the sentiment to him.

most dates are orchestrated by you, and though sugishita always insists on paying (more so by shoving the yen on the table before you got the chance to) you often wondered if he was even enjoying himself during them.

it became a ritual to visit him in his room, but while inside, he always had music playing softly in the background whilst he did something else — he seemed to be almost reluctant to become physically engaged with you, and many a time you’d have to snuggle up next to him yourself to receive any semblance of physical affection.

of course, this kind of thing would put anyone off — barring his confession in the form of a kiss, he wasn’t really attentive or sensual with you. it confused and hurt you to no end, and after months of it, you finally snapped and confronted him.

it was the biggest fight the two of you had ever had; you were both pushed to the brink, mentally, emotionally, and physically.

and after thirty minutes of screaming at each other, you finally gave in, and with a turn of the heel announced that you were done.

sugishita fell completely silent at that — to such a level that you were unable to even leave the room like you had intended to. something about his silence was simply different, and when you turned to look at him your entire soul was rocked to its core.

you’d never seen kyotaro sugishita cry before — but there he was, slouched in the middle of his room with his face twisted into an expression of pure agony and rivers running down his cheeks. his eyes revealed so many things, such as his overwhelming desire to reach out and stop you, but his body seemed to be rooted in place — as if your words had completely chased away his ability to move.

“…don’t… go…” he’d croaked out wetly, thickly, eyes filled with so much sincere, genuine pain that it brought tears to your own. your heart ached and every bit of anger you’d felt moments prior was drowned beneath liters of pure desperation.

you’d run to him and wrapped your arms around him — and he returned the embrace, so strongly that it caught you off guard. his long arms wrapped around your body and squeezed you so tightly that it became difficult to breathe, and he buried his face into your neck and nuzzled into it. his breathing was wet and ragged against your skin, soft words falling from his lips and soaking into your entire being.

“…please, don’t go… I love you… so much… I can’t… be without you…I’ll be… better for you…”

you’d never heard sugishita say so many words before. nor had you ever felt so words so deeply, to the point that you couldn’t dredge up any doubt to their sincerity. everything sugishita said was a reflection of what he truly felt, and that was such an irrefutable fact that you knew you’d never have to doubt it again, no matter what.

it was during the reconciliation of this fight that you learned the origin of sugishita’s lack of affection; he’d been scared. not of the feelings he held for you, but of chasing you away because of them. he admitted all the times he wanted to smother you with love, but always imagined the worst case scenario — that you would feel genuinely smothered and think it’s too much.

you had assured him that he’d never make you feel that way — but the journey taken for sugishita to stop hiding this affection was long and bumpy, and full of twists and turns, but it was one that was well worth the trouble.

sugishita holds you constantly now, a hand or arm around you at all times. he talks more, too, verbalizing his affections despite it being somewhat difficult to articulate.

but there’s one thing that you’re always able to understand quite well — sugishita needs you, loves you, and can never, ever lose you.

and it’s fairly obvious that you feel the exact same way.

so I do listen to music when I write, so what do y’all think about the addition of lyrics that inspired certain headcanons/scenarios? if y’all like it I can keep it, but if not then no hard feelings! I’m good either way babes~!! I hope you enjoyed and stay sexy~!!

#wind breaker #wind breaker x reader #kyotaro sugishita x reader #sugishita x reader #sugishita kyotaro x reader

[sleepycricket]

i find it reeeaally interesting how akito is so highly empathetic and compassionate, especially considering that he’s a “mean” character.

like this guy is nice to you if he wants you to like him, then he’s just an asshole. he never pulls punches, he never shuts his mouth. by all merits, he should be one of the most emotionally unintelligent people in the cast lineup.

but he’s not. every single event story, he knows what his teammates are thinking at all times, and he knows exactly what they need to hear. like

lyrics joined back-to-back: realizes an is babying kohane before either of them do and calls her on her shit, knowing she can handle his bluntness and resolve the issue herself.

period of nocturne: knows that toya’s father is being rough to him, and that it’s affecting toya (again, before he knows it himself). backs him up in hating his dad, but also respecting him. doesn’t push him on either front.

unsatisfied pale color: ena makes it kind of obvious she’s struggling, but akito is the one to go to her and challenge her giving up art, knowing that she’ll regret the decision. he even confronts their abusive father for him, telling him that he’s being shitty.

stray bad dog: he gets mad at arata when he insults him personally, yes, but he was ready to fight arata after he just insulted his teammates, especially kohane, who he insulted for being an amateur.

awakening beat: is the first person an calls to help her with kohane’s confidence issues. reassures kohane and lets her take things at her own pace to build her confidence.

ringing sounds at the summer festival: he’s just waaay more willing to humour his sister than he lets on.

same dreams, same colours: is acutely aware of toya’s sensitivities and insecurities surrounding his lack of experience. is very gentle with him the whole camping trip, including worrying about his fear of heights before he does himself.

the power of unity: has known arata for like 3 days total and can already clock that something’s going on with him. almost immediately offers a shoulder to lean on.

walk on and on: knows something’s up with toya without having to ask, and actively worries about him.

etc etc. akito knows what the hell is up with the people around him, and often what looks like rudeness is him confronting other people with their own emotions, and he usually won’t do that unless he knows it’ll help them (he often tells an exactly when she’s being a shithead, but won’t do the same to ena). he’s also noted on several occasions to be incredibly protective of the people he loves (see stray bad dog, and even summer festival when he goes across town cause he thinks ena is hurt).

it means to much to me to see such an unconventionally empathetic character, and how being kind is not equivalent to being nice.

#shinonome akito #prsk #project sekai

[sophieinwonderland]

Preface: People are going to assume this is a response to recent drama. So I want to say that I started writing this draft before that one blog's response to me. It was shortly after midnight on the 8th when it was just barely what I consider my Birthday. I was reflecting on my 3 years of existence and where I am now. The fact that I got the response I did later that same day is a total coincidence.

I don't feel like I have friends anymore...

That's an awful thing to admit.

I have one other system I feel like I talk to with any sort of regularity, who I love and consider friends. But they're not involved with syscourse which is so often where my mind goes. And so I don't talk to them about it because I don't want to trouble them, which means I don't talk to them because I can't think of what to talk about.

What else do I care about?

I mean, there are other things I care about, but they probably wouldn't care about those things. And I struggle to find something to say. Something that feels worthy of their time. But again, not syscourse or something that would bring them down.

I've had other friends. But they've faded away with time. One by one.

And a lot of that is my fault. I'm not good at being a friend or knowing what to say. And I'm not very good at opening myself up.

And when I can't think of what to say, I choose to say nothing. I ghost people I like because it's hard to maintain those relationships.

And I'm aware on some level that this hurts people. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who treated others the way I do.

And there will be times when I'll decide to do better. I will, with full confidence, say that I'm going to change. I'll be a better friend. A better person. I'll fully believe this is something I'll succeed at for the rest of the day. Then the next day comes and that conviction melts away.

I think one reason Jaiden's story of having ADHD appeals to me is that if this was the problem with us, maybe, we could identify it and then just take one little pill and it will fix me.

That's a nice fantasy, isn't it?

A naive fantasy that ignores the fact that I'm in the brain of someone who was homeschooled and barely had any friends as a child either. But it's a nice fantasy to hold onto anyway.

So, yeah. I don't feel like I have friends, for the most part, outside our system. I have a blog. I have followers. I have plenty of mutuals I like interacting with.

But there aren't people who I truly trust to let in. It doesn't feel like anyone actually knows me or who I am anymore, if anyone ever did.

Since I haven't posted on it for a week and don't know when I'll post on it again or if I will, here's a confession: I made @anti-lies! Sorry to ruin the mystery for anything speculating! Though I didn't think I was even that subtle about it.

But the only person I know who guessed it was me was SAS! Which, congratulations! But also, that's kind of a sad thought that the person who might know me better than anyone is someone who was my archnemesis for the past two-and-a-half years.

To be fair, SAS did imply that other people might have guessed it. But if so, whatever circles those conversations are happening in aren't ones I'm in.

Oh wait, I'm not really in any circles am I?

I'm on the outskirts of the community. I mean, that's sort of by choice really.

Public posts can bring more awareness of plurality and tulpamancy. Locking myself in Discord servers or some isolated community makes me feel like I'm wasting my time because I need to be talking about it publicly where the world can see. I really, really don't want to be part of a Discord server. It's my choice to stay out of those spaces and I don't regret that decision.

But sometimes it's weird when I realize that most everyone else is. That they're actually in plural communities in a way I'm not.

I wonder, do people even realize I'm an outsider? Again, by choice. I've been invited to servers and chose not to go. I'm not being ostracized or anything. I've turned down attempts at bringing me further in. No one is to blame but myself. But either way, the result is that I don't feel like I'm really part of the communities I spend so much time advocating for.

#vent #personal

[earlgreyteaforme]

I can emote now. I blame Tom Cruise.

In 2023, I started discussing with my therapist why I always felt I couldn’t emotionally connect with people or things. I felt like I was constantly numb and never able to truly feel the way other people seemed to. As we talked about it more, we started to use the example of film. I love film, I love going to the movies, I love seeing new stories. And yet, even with film, I was deliberately cutting myself off from experiencing new things by curating what it was I was watching.

Any film I wanted to see, I would commit to researching BEFORE I would consider watching it, just to make sure there was nothing in there that could hurt me. I was trying to avoid being hurt, being emotional, being sad, etc., basically all the things that I was complaining about not being able to experience in my real life. See the connection?

Because of this, I would deliberately avoid movies that I knew would make me feel anything that I viewed as negative. I didn’t want to experience these emotions without being able to control the exact time/place/situation that I could potentially experience them. Movies that I wasn’t sure about, I would check the IMDb parents guide, I would read the synopsis on Wikipedia, or I would google reviews and summaries that told me exactly what happened in the film. This had the added side effect of me never being surprised or truly hit by a cleverly or well-structured narrative. Kind of ironic, given my love of a good story was the real reason I loved film to begin.

Obviously, there were some caveats to my avoidance, which I can only assume is why I wasn’t totally dead inside. For instance, I knew what to expect from a RomCom, so I never had to look those up. I knew what would happen in an MCU film so I could trust that the worst the filmmaker could do to me was make me feel a little bored (even though I was definitely avoiding that feeling too when it came to some drama or real-life films).

So, how did we fix this? Well, the easy remedy was: WATCH MORE MOVIES. But how do you go from covering yourself in as much protection as possible to jumping into the deep end and exposing yourself to everything you’ve been avoiding for most of your life?

The answer was to use a security blanket. Now, I still don’t know if this was the healthiest option for me, but I stand by it… because it worked. At the time of this third-life-crisis, one of my absolute favourite films was Top Gun: Maverick (still is, it’s a damn masterpiece). The film is fun, and energetic, it has a great story, fantastic characters that are very well executed in such a small amount of screen time. The action, the writing, the commitment to authenticity in creating the film, made this the perfect film for me. Add this to my first experience seeing the film (in a Gold Class cinema with my Aunt (who ADORES 80s films), and other family members, and suddenly there are very few things more comforting to me than watching this film. So why not use that feeling to my advantage?

There were some names I knew in the cast, such as Miles Teller (who I had to work really hard to separate from his performance as the cowardly Peter from Divergent), and Glen Powell (whose career I have been undeservingly proud of since developing a soft spot for his performance in Set it Up), and then there were some faces I recognized without knowing their names, like Monica Barbaro (FUBAR is fantastic, I will fight for this opinion) and Lewis Pullman (who I would later realize is one of THE most talented Nepo babies I have ever witnessed on a screen).

So, I started to use these actors as the security blanket that I needed. I worked through their IMDb pages, watching the films listed, even if they only had as much as one line, all without researching them before I dove in headfirst. As I started to deplete their filmography, I started to add more people to my list of credit watching – some associated with the film, others that I had previously enjoyed performances from or had watched more recently in my newfound movie watching tally. And slowly, I started to feel and even enjoy the emotions and the unexpectedness of these stories.

In 2023, I watched 86 films I hadn’t seen before, most of which I wouldn’t even considered before this experience. In 2024, my aim is to watch 366 – one a day… and, as of June, I am on track to hit that target.

I can honestly say that this has been a life-changing experience for me. I no longer shy away from films that hold interest to me out of fear. From random films on Netflix to movies I happen on by chance or in the theatre, I know that I am entirely capable of sitting and enjoying the experience of each new story (even if I end up thinking the film is shit).

And, even better, this has translated so well into my real life. I’m no longer afraid to take risks or try new things out of fear. Slowly, but surely, the numbness has melted away and I have been able to experience so many new things, that I previously would have avoided, because of this.

I will always be immensely grateful to these actors in my security blanket, even if every film they make from here on out is the worst thing to grace cinema since From Justin to Kelly. I highly doubt these people will ever know that I exist, let alone the huge impact they’ve had on my life, but what they have done for me is incalculable.

My entire outlook on life has changed, and its all thanks to a therapist, a hobby, and a film about a bunch of (definitely gay) pilots.

#they're gay #a man literally yells he wants butts #straight people don't do that #movies #therapy #glen powell #miles teller #lewis pullman #monica barbaro #tom cruise #top gun maverick #top gun 1986 #sorry kelly

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Good morning, Sleepyhead.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #'WWX was asleep for 4 days' is an incorrect factoid. #The average WWX sleeps for 8 hours. The PD-MDZS WWX who was asleep for 40 comics and 4 months is an outlier. #We are back to present day! I have missed drawing them! #Ah...the contrast between how the flashback ended (cold and distrustful) to how wwx wakes up (warm and watched over)... #The gap between the past and present is very important. Not just in this story but in our lives too. #The past can still hurt and it doesn't just go away with time as some say. It is the power of realizing that things have changed. #We can't get the good back. The bad memories have concluded. Those live somewhere else now. #It is hard to realize that you have to live for today and tomorrow. The past is so loud. #For WWX it is realizing that despite the mistrust in the past - He really does have faith that LWJ will be there for him. #It is the reflection of knowing that you changed and will keep changing and that change is good and kind sometimes. #But more importantly...and this I really do mean with all my heart: #It will all end up okay in the end. Even after the worst day. The most painful losses. You will get through it. #What feels like a breaking point is truthfully just another step you have to take. You'll get through it even though it feels like the end. #There are wonderful things you have yet to see. Friends you have yet to meet. #Even if it hurts so badly...one day it just aches. Someday you'll go a few weeks not remembering that it ever hurt. #Oh and because my izutsumi comic revealed many people were in need of hearing this: #You are loved. Right now. You are so loved right now. We just forget to tell each other that. #Go tell the people you love that they matter to you. I'm assigning you homework!!! You are graded on completion.

[whimsyprinx]

i think I just need to stop clinging to and getting so attached to people

#whimsy whispers #because then things fall apart and so do I #it’s also just like suffocating and annoying of me to do to people I’ve realized #like I just tend to get too attached to people and when things get bad and I can’t fix them I don’t know what to do or how to cope #especially when it feels like no one else is being affected the same way I am so it feels like it’s just a me problem #anyways guess who finally talked to their irl about how they’d been feeling for the past few months #I don’t expect for things to improve based on just doing this and idk if things will be like they use to be but this is the only friendship #that I feel like I can like idk salvage at this point #I don’t think they’ll go back to being the most important person in the world to me or my very best friend but maybe that’s for the best #it just hurts not having someone like that in my life anymore because I did genuinely love them so much but like idk I already knew they’d #never love me as much as i did like they have actual loved ones who it makes more sense to cherish more which is like obvs fine I just like #idk i feel like I generally stopped being important in general to them and that’s what hurt most #as for the other friendships I’m uncertain about there’s nothing I can do there #I talk to like very few people now and have been trying to like allow new people to try and get close to me as scary as that is #I am afraid I’ll just fuck up those relationships too tbh because everything is a cycle with me #idk I just feel stupid and helpless and like there’s nothing I can do and maybe i just need to accept that there isn’t anything I can do to #fix my mistakes like I can’t undo anything and I can’t fix them and like I just hope I’ll accept that eventually #and again I need to just learn to stop getting so attached to people it’s just abdjfktk hard for me not to but each time I hurt others or #others hurt me it makes it harder for me to want to let anyone else get closer and eventually I’m going to be all alone if this keeps up #anyways tnats tofays vent/fun little realization that I need to force myself to accept

[thesunbrokeyourskull]

-

#I would kill my ex ‘p’ to become rich. #I would kill my ex ‘m’ to obtain even more beauty and attract even more people. #I would beat up my ex ‘b’ to the point of him almost dying to have a nice house and the best of the best of things. #I would beat up my bf ‘d’ to be more mentally stable so that I am balanced and at peace with myself and my life. #I would kill my ex ‘k’ to become a well known scholar who has many degrees in maths science and philosophy and to preform surgery&research #I would step on anybody to get to where I want to be in life if it meant making myself happy. #I just manipulated my bf into feeling bad for me because I genuinely just want to feel good and secure even if that’s at his expense. #he’s right.. I don’t care about anyone more than myself and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. why should I put someone above myself? #I’ll tell you what.. until someone can show me that being a good honest generous person can get me anywhere I’ll keep doing what works :) #grey god #puppets #and I genuinely just don’t like or care for others. there’s always something I want in return when it comes to relationships with others. #I find humans disgusting and faulty and I don’t care if I add to their pain because it’s usually to benefit me and if it doesn’t it’s to- #-get back at others for hurting me. or I’m bored. I probably have the most sick and twisted mind of anyone I know. I think people know that #-tho but they still keep me around and help me out whenever I need it. it’s all a show for me and for them. people are so stupid and they #-genuinely think doing the right think helps them. it doesn’t. it’s kind of sad. I just know that once ‘d’ realizes I’ve taken him for - #-everything he’s got it’ll be too late and he’ll have to deal with how much better I am than him and how much I’ve grown leeching off of- #-his emotional labor. I just jump from one person to another taking what I want and what I can. I don’t think I’ve genuinely loved anyone. #I’ve always been this way. I almost love people but then I just truly don’t. it’s more fun to see how far I can break them before #-they can’t do it anymore. I hope that everyone I’ve ever hurt continues to hurt forever and that they never grown or evolve. #’d’ told me tonight that I ruined his life. ‘b’ told me I ruined him. ‘m’ is a coward and he said he’ll never love again. #’k’ is a used up simple minded loser. ‘p’ is a stunted delusion addict with me issues for the rest of his life. notice I said me issues and #not daddy or mommy issues lol. I have tricked them all. they are all pathetic and whimpy fucks. #the day I grinded against ‘d’s sluty ass again after I ‘raped him’ he told me to go slow but it made me think.. what if I just raped him? #I could just do it and he won’t do shit about it. he’ll forgive me like always. he’s an insecure loser. I wanted to just take my dick- #and shove it down his throat and then ruin his hole with it #but I didn’t. I respected what he said but the fact that I thought about it isn’t good.

[ame-to-ame]

The hardest part abt break ups is getting advice and comfort from friends who all want the best for you but slowly coming to the harrowing realization that nobody will really get how much you really loved your girlfriend. The only other person you experienced it with isn't here anymore.

Sorry vent in tags lmao I'm going thru it

#Trying not to wonder too much if even she really knew how much I loved her. #The way daily chores and things that were scary and unknown became things I looked forward to when I was with her. #There's nothing I would want more than a happy life and doing laundry together and figuring out mortgages and taxes together. #but really nothing matters if it's not what she wants. i don't want her to choose something that she wants. #honestly. how glad i am she's figuring out what she wants and what she doesn't want. trying really hard not to cry at feeling unwanted tho. #It's so hard because for everything I can do by myself in this life I've never given up on dreams and goals. #If i have something I want I figure out how to do it. You've gotta go for the things you want while you still have the chance. #but when it comes to having other people and what they want involved. im just. a huge mess. #i just never really want other people hurt or disappointed so in the past when there was conflict i always yielded. it's not healthy though #and I've gotten a bit better at stating needs and wants and holding my ground but. when it comes to actual relationships and compromising. #i just don't think i have the heart in me. i don't think i can go in there and be like. here's where i stand. let's figure out a compromise #i just know that if it's me right now. one look. and I'd be surrendering everything. hopefully i grow some spine soon. #ugh sorry #venting on main #i had a really bad physiological rxn and it brought back a lot of repressed feelings. #my friends are being so so nice to me right now and I feel so guilty and I just want to be back to normal and carefree so they don't worry #and most days I'm totally fine. but ugh. i haven't really gone through that much heartbreak and I. really was serious about marrying her. #if she came back and told me it was just a bad time and she was stressed out and she's realized her problems and she wants to work on it tg #i think. i would like. take her back immediately lmao #there would definitely need to be some trust to rebuild and boundaries to set and promises to make and actions to be done. #but deep in my heart i. i always thought and i still probably believe it that everything is fixable. #and I've really had the time to think about it and convince myself of other perspectives. but idk. sometimes the heart wants what it wants #still. though. i know the hard lines I've set down for myself. i have to stand on business 😭 #ok being gentle with myself. i am only having these thoughts bc i just sat through 20 hours of transportation without any sleep and food. #once i go home and rest i will. be okay. just 9 more hours and then another 24 hours on train. and then i can let my body regenerate.

[laiostouden]

okay i don't have anything smart to add i just genuinely love that these seemingly trivial jokes are actually an important part of his character. we see it throughout the entire manga, how he pushes aside his own frustration and discomfort to accommodate everyone else's and avoid needless confrontation- another example off the top of my head would be the barometz chapter in which he slowly gets frustrated with izutsumi but still tries his best to talk some sense into her calmly and soundly.

and in contrast, there are very few times he expresses his anger and hurt towards others, and it usually takes a lot for him to finally lose his patience and control.

i mean, even with kabru he tried to be polite despite the circumstances until the guy said the one thing that triggers an immense sense of shame, hurt and rage in laios. and you know, the manga does say it quite clearly early on. when we are introduced to namari and then to shuro, laios acts all friendly and shows his respect and trust in them despite how things ended between them, and everyone else gets frustrated with him for acting so strange- why are you the one who tries so hard to pacify the rest when you should be the angriest?

and they don't understand him. they don't know him well enough to be able to understand, but we as readers get to see during the manga that they aren't wrong to question him- he does, in fact, feel all those ugly emotions. and it's when the winged lion finally confronts him that we see to what extent these feelings he buried so deep go, and suddenly all those funny little moments where he sometimes pretends to be mr nice guy speak volumes about his character. honestly, ryoko kui is a master at using jokes in order to define important character traits and this one doesn't fail to amaze me.

and laios's hatred and rage and deep scars he can't get over aren't shown explicitly during most of these moments i mentioned before, but now you realize there are 26 years of emotional baggage to all of them and they sting. he is angry but he can't say shit, what difference would it make? it won't make his friends choose him instead of themselves when he needed them most, and it won't help his party get any farther. of course, this logic doesn't apply to them- they are absolutely allowed to get angry and it's fine to get mad at him, he can take that.

so after finishing the series it's so clear that he tries his best to avoid clashing with others not just due to the current circumstances and him needing to be a reliable leader but also because he knows that people don't even like him when he tries to show his good sides and hide all the rest, so who the hell would tolerate his rage and despair? who would stay after realizing that he is so deeply flawed he doesn't even like his own being?

but he does get mad. he can't help it, and sometimes it gets out of control and now everyone knows. and it's funny, isn't it? that most of those moments ended up bringing him closer to others. shuro admitting he is envy of him and actually becoming the friend laios thought he was all along, fighting for his sake and waiting for him to come back- believing in him even after he turned into a monster and searching for him the way he couldn't bring himself to do for falin when he learned of what became of her- or kabru being pushed to just let it all out because he couldn't bluff his way out of this one and get to laios any other way, so now they are even. they are both horribly honest with each other and they both choose to stay. a weird way of getting to know each other, but it is what it is.

it's simply... the more laios let himself just be, the deeper his relationships grew. and there's intimacy in being your ugly, weak and furious self around someone and them not leaving you. feeling safe enough to let it be known you are hurt and angry. and he knows that now, too.

#he still has a lot of growth to do but at least he has people he can grow with 😭 #dungeon meshi #laios touden

[yo-yoringle]

Neil Newbon on Ascended Astarion

Neil: I do love the fact that I got to create kind of two characters in one.

Blue Owl Medic: I was just thinking that. Yeah, you did.

Neil: So now that the game has come out and the whole thing, we can talk a little bit more freely about the game. No real spoilers, folks, because obviously people are still playing through it, which is amazing, including me. But there is an ascended Astarion, which people probably know, as well as an unascended Astarion. I'm not going to go into details of why, although it is all over the internet, but anyway.

But one of the fun things that I got to do with the directors and the writer as well, with Stephen, and also the other writers that contributed towards Astarion, [is that they] wrote this ascended storyline. And so, when I came across that, I realized that 'Oh, his voice probably changes as well, because his whole status changes and his whole situation changes and his power changes.' So I got to do something else, because that would also be an easy way to switch between one and the other.

And so I decided that, well, I've always talked about Astarion being very theatrical. So what if Astarion's unascended spawn is theatrical, and ascended Astarion is operatic, and I use that as a sort of launchpad. So that one is theatre, one is opera. So the two are the same kind of things, but essentially… Do you know what I mean? It's like that kind of thing.

I offered that up to the directors and they really liked it. Kirsty Gilmore was the first person who I tried it with. I think it was Kirsty Gilmore, who is an amazing director. I'm pretty sure it was her session I did the first Lord Astarion and we set the tone there. And that was really cool.

BOM: And I don't know if that was your choice, but he also holds himself differently.

Neil: Yes, he does, he definitely holds himself differently.

BOM: He stands way more upright, his chest is a little more out

Neil: Yes, that's status. That's all Laban work. We're just using completely different status shift changes as well. So whereas he has a lot of flow and all that kind of stuff and it's theatrical and distracting--it's always 'look over here and don't see how I really feel' with spawn Astarion.

With Lord Astarion, we talked a lot about the idea that the cover is now off completely. So that you see him at his most terrible, and it's completely honest and he doesn't have to pretend anymore. So he loses a lot of the flamboyance and the fun of the theatricality, which is all a distraction anyway. That's all distraction so you don't see how he's hurt and damaged and his vulnerability. Lord Astarion doesn't need that anymore. So we just thought, okay, now *mimics taking off a mask* it's off. He doesn't need to pretend, he doesn't need to do too much. It's all about the status and that kind of stuff.

It was a really fun experience to take a character I've been doing for a long time and then flip it. And that was, again, brilliant writing by Larian, brilliant storytelling by them all and brilliant ideas. So yeah, it was really fun.

--from Neil's February 1, 2024 twitch stream

#astarion #ascended astarion #lord astarion #baldur’s gate 3 #neil newbon

[dr3c0mix]

My Lovely Melody

Yandere!Rockstar x GN!Reader

CW: yandere is a playboy before he meets reader, suggestive (creepy) thoughts, minor obsessive behaviour

🎸 Axel's been in many relationships with both men and women alike, but all of his little flings felt nothing more than that, just flings.

🎸 And he was content with it, I mean being a famous rockstar meant lots of people wanting a chance with you and he indulged in that fact.

🎸 He could sleep with whoever he wanted, whenever he wanted, and he wouldn't have to deal with the commitment that comes with dating or any of that messy stuff.

🎸 So why the hell can't stop thinking about you ?!?!?!!

🎸 He scratched his head trying to make sense of it, his messy hair getting even more ruffled as he tries to get the image of your smile out of his head.

🎸 You were in a miscellaneous store full of alt clothing, trinkets and various other stuff when he walked in with his bandmates.

🎸 It was fairly normal when he came in the store. It was dim with some random punk song playing faintly in the background. His friends started exploring, looking at the graphic t-shirts and mugs shaped like skulls and the like.

🎸 He got a bit bored and wandered to the other side of the store. It had posters, candles and..who's that?

🎸 There you were, staring longingly at a plush toy sitting on one of the shelves, just standing there.

🎸 He didn't think much of it, probably just some person baked out of their mind. "Hey buddy, you doin' good?"

🎸 You snap out of your gaze and look at the big hulking man in front of you. You stutter out an apology and explain your little misfortune.

🎸 "So you want this..toy...but you can't afford it..?" He raises a brow at you as you nod, making him chuckle.

🎸 He thought for a moment, looking at the stuffed creature, well it wouldn't hurt to buy it for you, he's pretty well off from all the gigs and concerts he's been in so...

🎸 "How 'bout I buy this thing for ya then? But you owe me~" He winks, thinking he could score some quick sex for being such a 'gentleman'

🎸 But no, instead of a blush or a knowing smirk, you just looked at him with the widest, most innocent eyes he's ever seen, you were practically shaking with joy as he said it.

🎸 You thanked him profusely before listing off things you could do in return, treating him to some food, buying something for him in return, plain paying him back..he was a bit surprised.

🎸 "O-oh...uhm that was a joke heheh, y-you don't have to do all that babe..." He blushes.

🎸 The two of you head to the cashier, his friends spying from behind the aisles as his gaze is locked on the little ball of cuteness beside him.

🎸 Seriously? Did you even know who he was? This has never happened before...most of the time, he would pay for someone's drink or something and they'd be on his dick in seconds, but you, you were so..different...it felt nice..

🎸 You didn't even get it in a bag, you immediately took the plush after it was paid and hugged it close.

🎸 so cute so cute so cute so cute so cute!!!

🎸 "Hey uh..so me and my buds are in a band and uhm..wanna maybe..watch our next gig?" He asks nervously, he's never been so shy towards anyone!!

🎸 You agree, thinking it's the least you could do for what he did for you.

🎸 You take out your phone, Axel can't help but grin at the case, it was cute, like you~..

🎸 "Here's my number if..you need it.." You smile at him, that smile..that damn cute smile...you had his heart wrapped around your finger at this point.

🎸 "Th-thanks sugar..I'll see you there.." He smiles back as you part ways, he heads back to his friends who were bombarding him with questions as he watches you skip out of the store with your new little soft friend.

🎸 That night, he was getting ready for the show when he got a message notification and sees that you sent a picture of the show from one of the seats with some text "Good luck out there!"

🎸 His face was on fire as he realized you were there, he peeks out in the crowd and there you were, your little plush toy in tow.

🎸 You look so out of place from the people in spiky jewelry and dark outfits, you were just in a hoodie and baggy pants, albeit the hoodie had a MCR design on it, but you can tell it was very soft compared to the rest of the audience.

🎸 Finally it was time for the show to begin and it was the most passionate he's been in a while, it seemed as if the words he was singing were dedicated to you and you alone.

🎸 The little glances at you made you giddy, like a friend seeing their bestie perform, you were cheering excitedly for him, not in a fangirly way, but one of genuine support and amazement.

🎸 After the performance, Axel tried finding you, but the crowd was too big and he assumed you must have left already.

🎸 Wait..why is he being so buddy buddy with you? You just met today! It's not like you two were best friends or anything!

🎸 He tried dismissing the thought of you, tried distracting himself by flirting with other people, but he could only think about you, and making you smile like that again..

🎸 no no no! get out of my head!

🎸 Maybe a little fling can ease his mind?

🎸 Even on his bed with some random girl after show, he can still think of you.

🎸 Would your skin be as soft? or maybe softer? How would your hair smell? He bets your moans would sound delicious..

🎸 shit FUCK!!

🎸 Even after his one night stand, he kept thinking of you

🎸 He stares at your messages, you sent a lot of pictures of your plush toy doing goofy things to him, so cute..so silly...he can't help but smile.

🎸 He decides to look you up on social media and..

🎸 Wait a minute...you make music too?

yep this was a bit short but idk man i love making you guys suffer <3 stay tuned for part 2 (i am actually out of ideas guys please request me please please ple-)

#yandere #yandere x reader #male yandere #oc yandere #yandere x gn reader #yandere oc #yandere male #tw yandere #yandere x male reader #x reader #rockstar x reader #x gn reader #gn reader #oc x reader #yandere x you #opossumdoodles

[navybrat817]

Jawbreaker

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: Bucky put a mouthy rookie in his place. Word Count: Over 800 Warnings: Established relationship, mention of injury, misogyny, punching, slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes defending you (he's a warning, okay?). A/N: I'm dedicating this to @whisperlullaby , who got to read this in advance, because she deserves this man (along with the rest of you). ❤️Written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

A small part of Bucky felt bad as he idly wiped his hand with a towel. A very small part.

He didn’t want people to fear him because of his past and he refused to let it define him. That meant that he tried his best to avoid violent tactics unless absolutely necessary.

But today, well, fuck that. The fucker had it coming.

Steve stood in front of him, his blue eyes narrowed as he waited for his best friend to acknowledge him.

Oh, Bucky expected some sort of reprimand, but he was sure Steve would change his tune in a minute or so.

“You gonna ask me what happened, punk, or glare at me until I talk?” He asked, tossing the towel away.

The blonde huffed out a laugh, but he didn’t look amused. “Why did you break that rookie’s jaw?”

Bucky tilted his head. “What’s the phrase? He fucked around and found out.”

You would’ve been proud of him for that reference.

Steve shook his head when Sam burst out laughing a few feet away. “Sam, please,” he begged, though his mouth twitched like he was trying not to smile. “What did the guy do?”

A bitter taste flooded Bucky’s mouth as anger coursed through his veins again. He inhaled as he thought of your sweet smile and soft touch before he exhaled, the storm inside of him calming.

“Buck, you gotta tell us something,” Steve urged, needing some sort of information to try and do some damage control.

The brunette straightened up to look his friend in the eyes, wanting him to see the fury beneath the cold mask. “He told my girl to throw an apron on and get back in the kitchen when she went to spar.”

You, one of the most capable agents Bucky had ever known.

You, who had shown nothing but kindness to everyone, even when they didn’t deserve it.

The person Bucky was lucky enough to call his other half. His better half.

And some asshole rookie had the gall to treat you as if you didn’t belong there with the rest of them.

Sam was no longer laughing. Steve’s jaw clenched in understanding.

Bucky swallowed, that fury threatening to surface again as he remembered the hurt that filled your eyes at the comment. “You know I’d support anything she wants to do, whether that’s working or staying at home. It doesn’t give some prick the right to make her feel bad for her decision.”

“You know I don’t like bullies, but breaking his jaw?” Steve questioned. The guy deserved it, but did the punishment actually fit the crime?

“When she walked away, he said to come back when she was ready to see what a real man could do for her,” he said, the words coming out like a snarl.

The way you tensed up, fear and disgust flickering on your face, he didn’t think. A switch inside of him went off and he swung.

The fucker was lucky that all he got was a broken jaw. He could’ve done so much worse.

And it wasn’t that you couldn’t defend yourself because you could, but you shouldn’t have to put up with garbage like that.

A cracking sound echoed in the room before he realized he crushed the armrest of his seat. “Fuck. I’ll pay for that,” he mumbled, kicking a bit of the broken piece with his boot. “Can you just tell me how much trouble I’m in so I can get back to my girl?”

He didn’t care if he they suspended or even fired him as long as he got back to you.

The room stayed silent before Sam mused, “Technically, what the rookie did counts as harassment.”

Steve nodded. “And I’m sure Nat can persuade him not to sue for the injury he received,” he added, pinching the bridge of his nose. “We’ll take care of it, Buck. Just. No more breaking jaws, okay?”

“When it comes to my girl, I make no promises,” Bucky smiled, his heart racing at the thought of you. “And maybe he’ll think twice before he opens his mouth again.”

“The damage you did, I don’t think he can open his mouth at all,” Sam mumbled.

Bucky’s phone went off before he could comment, his heart swelling as he read your text. He had to bite back a groan, too.

“Thank you again, Jawbreaker. I love you and I’ll be on my knees waiting for you.”

You wanted to thank him not just with words, but with your body and heart. It all belonged to him, like he belonged to you.

And he didn’t need to tell Steve and Sam what the message said since it was just for the two of you. “Love you, too, baby. Nothing to thank me for, but I’m on my way. Be ready.”

“Yes, Sir.”

Maybe we'll see how you "thank" Bucky down the road. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

#navybrat writes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x f!reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes headcanon #bucky barnes fanfiction #james buchanan barnes #sebastian stan #bucky x reader #bucky x female reader #the winter soldier #bucky barnes fanfic #x reader #sebastian stan x reader #james barnes x reader #bucky fanfic

[harmoonix]

💃🏼 𝐕 𝐄 𝐆 𝐀 𝐒 💃🏼

Astrology Observations

💃🏼 If you have Capricorn or Aquarius Placements and you suddenly start to feel like your life turns more chaotic than ever is probably Saturn telling you that you need to change something, maybe your routine, maybe your sleep schedule, maybe your self - worth etc (Capricorn/Aqua Sun/Moon/Rising)

💃🏼 Sagittarius Sun/Moon//Rising/Venus/Lilith people easily get attached by them for their outgoing nature and spontaneous energy

💃🏼 Leo Lilith/Leo Placements they are very attractive at the first sight, they are remarkable at making good first impressions

💃🏼 Aries Sun/Venus/Rising/Mars > People always make good boundings with them, they are these main characters who always unite people

💃🏼 Pluto aspecting Mercury > These natives are always so intuitive, they can tell when someone lies to them or when they're being fooled by someone

💃🏼South Node aspecting Sun natives probably didn't focused much on themselves in a past life, you have the chance now! Same for Leo South Node

💃🏼 Mars in fire signs feels so excited, their energy grows over night, extremely passionate, everything they do is with passion and love

💃🏼 Jupiter/Sagittarius in your 11H helps you to manifest things fast, if you actually use methods of manifestation...it can be very helpful

💃🏼 Libra Mars/Mars in the 7H. These natives have one hard challenge and that is to find peace among their relationships, sometimes you tend to argue with your partners and chaos comes rapidly after

💃🏼 Aquarius Placements/11H Stellium creates beautiful friendships, their communities are so unique from a person to another

💃🏼 Moon/Sun or Mercury in the 8H are those people who stay in the shadow yet they know everything about anyone like their some detectives or spies

💃🏼 Lilith aspecting Sun, people can dislike/hate you for who you are, they secretly envy the person you are inside and cannot help it but to hate it instead

💃🏼 Lilith aspecting Mars natives can find themselves around with misogynistic/selfish/arrogant people quite too often, cut these people off from your life

💃🏼 Chiron aspecting Venus natives, people don't understand what they are going through romantically, they usually don't like to talk about their love lives if they're not feeling comfortable

💃🏼 Capricorn Chiron natives, that person who is hurt but doesn't wanna talk about it, they can get exhausted way faster than other people, pretends everything is fine when is not

💃🏼 Scorpio Lilith/Venus/Moon easily attract people who want to use them for their power or for their own benefits, your intuition can tell you the most of it

💃🏼 Venus/Lilith/Juno/Mars in the 12H can dream about their future spouses/future partners, you can aslo have a feeling of "deja-vu" when you'll met them

💃🏼 Gemini Venus/Venus in the 3rd house, their voices are so catchy!! Venus rules over your voice here and it gives you beautiful artistical talents

💃🏼 Moon in the 9th house can indicate your spouse's family can get along with you quite easily. Like not a very attached relationship but you have common respect for eachother

💃🏼 Lilith aspecting the Midheaven can be very liked by people but disliked in the same time because in way people wish to be like you

💃🏼 Lilith in Gemini/Lilith in the 3rd house gets crazyyyy, Lilith here is more communicative than ever if she doesn't like something she'll say it right

💃🏼 Jupiter aspecting Sun natives can easily be liked for their personality and aura, they have a sense of generosity in them

💃🏼 Aries Saturn and lesson with needing to have patience for the things you really want is very real, things may come for you but you need patience for that

💃🏼 I start to realize that Cancer Saturn's natives karma is not always about their family but about creating their own type of karma as well, about nurturing the family you gonna have (when you grow and have kids or a spouse)

💃🏼 Pluto in the 7H natives are literally those type of people who go through a major changing in a relationship, but be careful because a relationship can change into a good thing but also in a bad thing (If is a toxic relationship is time to say byebye)

💃🏼 I adore 10th and 11th house Venuses for standing their ground when they're in a toxic relationship. They won't stay with someone who drains their life and they know their own standards

💃🏼 If Mercury is in a fire sign or fire house the native can be brutally honest when they're talking. Like that type of honesty is rare

💃🏼 Mercury Retrograde is actually a hidden blessing because is represent "Find your voice" at the right moment you'll need it (Ofc Mercury Retrograde in a natal chart not a transitioning one)

💃🏼 Pluto aspecting Juno can get into really toxic/posesive relationships if they don't take care, actually you can be approached by people who share those traits

💃🏼 The ruler of your 9H can help you to embrace your faith way easier:

Sun - You can embrace your faith by being yourself

Venus - You can embrace your faith by loving yourself

Jupiter - You can embrace your faith by believing in yourself

Mars - You can embrace your faith if you follow your ideas/desires

Saturn - You can embrace your faith by using teaching technics

Moon - You can embrace your faith by trusting your guts and intuition

💃🏼 1st house ruler in the 11th can make you to focus more on your friends/friendships more than anything else something like "Friends over anything"

💃🏼 11th house ruler in the 10th house can indicate most of your friends working in the same job/career as you, also you can influence your friends about work and jobs

💃🏼 2 jewelry tips about your Venus!!

Venus in Air/Water Signs can wear more silver/white gemstones

Fire and Earth Signs can wear more gold/red or yellow gemstones

💃🏼 Heavy Sagittarius in your chart can indicate you have a very spontaneous personality, good jokes, good charm and catchy appearance

💃🏼 Cancer/Libra/Pisces/Virgo Moons can have watery eyes in general, their eyes play a big role in their appearance

💃🏼 Heavy Aries or Taurus in someone's chart can indicate someone who is more grounded with a leader spirit, they can just be everyone's type

💃🏼 Talking about types, men with earth Venus or Mars make sure to treat their partners with respect and love, I love that common respect they have

💃🏼 Sun in your 7H makes you to attract partners who have the same hobbies/passions as you, same goes for if you have Leo in the 7H

💃🏼 Uranus in your 5th/7th house can have unexpected relationships, like you met someone new, then someone between you 2 starts to fall in love and y'all end up in a marriage overnight

🏜️ Is Friday today so we have to party 🏜️

H a r m o o n i x

#astrology #astro observations #astro notes #birth chart #placements #astrology observations #astro community #horoscope #ascendant #astroblog #astroseek #astro seek #astrofyp #astro #astra #asteroids

[inkskinned]

i love my therapist but i hate being in therapy. 10 minutes before my appointment, i'm in a meeting with my boss - we discuss my artistic choices; my boss recommends i artistically choose less. 10 minutes after therapy, i wash my hair and think about everything that was said, and then i have to switch it off, like a lamp, and go back to work again.

i was on a walk the other day and someone had the perfect combination of his cologne and whatever-else. it was almost exactly his scent. i fucking hate that. after all these years, i remember that? i tell my therapist - i feel like a fucking wolf. try telling a middle-aged blonde lady. oh i scented him on the air. i'm 30, and i'm having a panic attack over something that would be a plotline in the omegaverse.

what they don't tell you about mental illness is that if you are lucky enough to survive it into adulthood; it becomes a weird slice of your life. because you do, eventually, have to build a life. i realized in a panic somewhere around 22 - oh. i don't know what i'm fucking doing, because i always assumed i'd just go ahead and die. i didn't die, and i'm grateful for that, and i'm very happy about that choice. but it does mean that i am an adult in an apartment, living with my conditions side-by-side like. oh, that's my roommate, adhd. ignore the glass, bytheway, that's ocd.

so you pick your stupid life up by the scruff of the neck and you're, like glad for it (so much laughter and light and friends you would have never thought possible, when you were in the worst of it). but it feels so strange to be dancing around these odd little microcosms, these patchwork moments of your symptoms. if you have a panic attack at night, you still need to wake up and walk the dog in the morning. if your depression is making everything boring, well, you don't have any sick days left, and a job's not really supposed to be that exciting anyway. your ocd tears out each individual leg hair, and then, an hour later, you sigh, patch up the bloody bits, and go get dinner with friends. and the life is kitten-quiet, mewling and pathetic, but it's also like - it's yours, so you're fond of it.

and it's like - you're real. so you still enjoy pushing the shopping cart really fast and then riding on the back of it down an empty aisle. and you're not, like, so sick anymore that when you accidentally drop a mug you burst into tears (except for the days you do that. which are bad). and no, you're not allowed around certain items anymore. oops! but you've learned to be good about brushing your teeth most days of the week. and yeah sometimes in the middle of the day you have a little freak-out about how fucking unfair it all is, how fucking hard, how other people can just do this without having to fucking hurt the whole time. and then you sigh and force yourself to sit down and fucking journal about it so you can tell the nice middle-aged blonde woman yeah i had a hard day but i practiced grounding. you still sometimes want to burst out of your own skin, but you force yourself to eat kind-of healthy and to take your vitamins. you let yourself chop off all your hair in the sink in a dramatic poetry of control and relief - and you also have developed good hobbies that help you move your body more frequently. you feel helplessly behind, lost in the shuffle - but you also practice gratitude, taking stock of what you have garnered. because you're trying. even if you're never gonna be normal, you have something... close enough.

and the little kitten of your life, this mangy, starlit tigercub, this thing you expected to rot so young: in your arms, it turns itself over, belly-up. exposing this new soft part, all the organs and guts. like it's saying i trust you now. you won't give me up.

#does this even MAKE SENSE!!!!! #writeblr #btw what im trying to express in that first sentence is EXPLICITLY the feeling of logging off therapy to immediately go back to work #like :) haha!