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xcherricutie · 3 months

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🌺 drift away 🌺

[Lucifer Morningstar x Reader]

[Part One] [Part Two] [Part Three] [Part Four]

[Word Count - 1.4k]

[Tags: Angst, songfic (I can't help myself)]

[Notes: My first Hazbin Hotel one shot. Still new to Tumblr, and new to writing one shots, I'm used to writing longer form. Hope this post is up to the standard. It's like, 1 in the morning and I have work tomorrow morning, enjoy. I will hopefully get out a part that's kinda like a prequel, I wanna do Other Friends lol. Obvs inspired by Steven Universe.]

Let’s go in the garden,

You’ll find something waiting,

Right there where you left it,

Lying upside down...

Excitement shot through your system, your feet dragging along the ground as a giggle bubbled from within you. You paused every few seconds as the man before you looked back, a single brow raised at your antics. He took a few steps forward, the sounds of your feet tapping as you followed along filling the air. He sighed, turning around. His eyes, golden sclera and deep red irises, landed on your own, though unfocused. Almost as if looking straight through you.

He’d tried to keep you here, to stop you from following. He knew you were only doing what you were meant to do. You were made for him. An angel born purely to keep Lucifer in check, to keep him happy. You loved being by his side, you loved spending time with him on Earth, in the garden. You thought he loved it too. You thought he loved you.

Taking a deep breath, Lucifer forced a smile for you. His wings softly flapped behind him, lifting him off the ground, raising him to be just above your face level. His finger tapped your nose, his enchanting voice coming through. “Here in the garden, let’s play a game, I’ll show you how it’s done.”

“Here in the garden, stand very still,” His hands on your shoulders, you looked up at him with a beaming smile, happy to spend time with your love.

“This’ll be so much fun,” Your voice, soft and delicate spoke, earning a smile from him. Your heart fluttered at his smile, his cheeks crinkling slightly as his eyes closed, appearing relaxed. At least to you. But appearances weren’t all what they seemed.

“And then he smiled, that’s what I’m after,” You clenched a fist, pressing it to your chest, trying to calm your fast beating heart. You could feel the eyes of the demon behind you on you, the very demon that came from him. “The smile in his eyes, the sound of his laughter.”

You could see the scene replaying before you all over again. You could even hear the soft chuckle that had once escaped his lips, his hands softly squeezing your shoulders. You knew she could see it too, but you didn’t want to acknowledge the memories that had begun to rush back to you, memories from long ago. Memories you’d wished you could forget.

“Happy to listen, happy to play, happily watching him drift away...”

Lucifer’s grip loosened on your shoulders, his wings flapping as he pulled away, leaving you to your little game. You watched him fly into the bright sky, disappearing in the light of the sun with another. But you didn’t think anything of it, because he loved you. He was playing with you, spending time with you.

The girl behind you could only watch in silence, her throat squeezing closed as she tried to keep her inner turmoil to herself. She knew exactly where she was, exactly where you had taken her. The wilted bushes, the out-of-control bramble, the spiraling roots through the grass. This was the long-abandoned Garden of Eden. This was where it all began. Where Charlie’s father, Lucifer, had started humanity’s spiral into chaos, starting with you.

“Happily waiting, all on my own, under the endless sky...” You glanced up to the stars dotting the night sky. Everything seemed to be happening so fast. You never wanted anyone to see this, you never even wanted to see it again yourself. Yet, here you were, sharing your vulnerability with the person you’d come down to Hell to kill. The princess of Hell herself, and Lucifer’s daughter, Charlie. You had let her in, showing her your memories. “Counting the seconds, standing alone, as thousands of years go by...”

The roots had begun to cling to your still form, your body aching, your wings begging to be spread once more. Your hair, once something you had been proud of, now in shambles, grown out nearly to your feet. Deep bags had sunk into the skin under your eyes, a telling sign of your exhaustion. For how much longer must this game go on, you wondered, but never dared voice it. You were meant to make him happy, right?

“Happily wondering, night after night, is this how it works? Am I doing it right?” Your fists clenched, unable to bear looking at your old self any longer, watching as your sickened form disappeared, turning into speckles of gold in the wind. You stepped forward into the place where you had once showed Charlie your older memories, resuming the familiar stance you had been in for over ten thousand years. “Happy to listen, happy to stay, happily watching him drift away...”

A cool breeze blew through your hair, reminding you of the countless nights you took solace in the feeling, the only thing that reminded you that you were still alive, still conscious. Your eyes met Charlie’s, a faint smile on her face as you spotted the tears welling in her eyes. You turned away with the breeze, taking a step in the opposite direction of Charlie, startling her as she was quick to follow.

“You keep on turning pages, for people who don’t care, people who don’t care about you,”

You walked along the edge of a pond, legs brushing against the soft petals of the flowers surrounding the pond. The breeze pulled along the flowers, a long dead water lily being ripped from the ground. Grasping the weakened petals of the flower in your hand, you turned to Charlie with a soft smile, placing the flower in her blonde hair that felt just the same as his. Just as you pulled your hand away, turning your attention to the water, the flower crumpled in her hair, falling apart.

“And still, it takes you ages, to see that no one’s there, see that no one’s there, see that no one’s there, everyone’s gone on without you...” Your eyes drifted back to the spot you had become a part of for so long. The spot you thought would one day claim you and set you free from the pain that he’d left behind in you. Charlie’s eyes followed, her eyes widening to see more of your memories, more of what her father had caused.

“Finally, something.”

The two seraphims, Sera and Emily, stood before you, fear and sorrow written across their faces. Emily ripped roots that had grown to hold you down tightly off, while Sera ran her fingers through your broken hair, tears streaming down her face.

“Finally, news, about how the story ends.”

Sera rambled on and on about everything you had missed. About how humanity had progressed. About the angels that had replaced you in society. Everybody thought you were dead, at the hands of the Devil. You didn’t understand any of it, not until she explained just what had happened, why you were even standing here, playing this game.

“He isn’t an angel anymore, fallen long ago, leaving you for Lilith, and his brand-new daughter...”

“Isn’t that lovely?”

Tears streamed down Charlie’s face as she watched your younger self burst into tears, sobbing violently into Sera’s chest as she hugged you tightly, muttering useless apologies over and over. You cried and screamed, telling her to stop lying and to bring you to Lucifer, to end this game already. You begged and pleaded, telling her that it wasn’t like that, that he loved you, he asked you to stay and play with him. He couldn’t abandon you. You were his angel, his love.

“Isn’t that cool?”

You ignored the pain that squeezed your heart, watching as your memories faded in those familiar golden glimmers, begging that this would be the final time you’d have to see them. You ignored the hot tears that dripped down your cheeks, your emotions leaking through, escaping the tight hold you’d kept them in for so many years.

“And isn’t that cruel? And aren’t I a fool to have happily listened, happy to stay, happily watching him drift, drift...”

You squeezed a fist to your chest, your heart slowing down finally as you sighed deeply. This was the end. This garden, where everything had begun, would finally see the end of the story. Where you would finally let go of the memories that haunted you for ten thousand years, and move on with your life, putting an end to his little game.

“Drift away...”

#hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #lucifer morningstar #hazbin lucifer #lucifer x reader #lucifer morningstar x reader

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l0ve-bug-m1les · 11 months

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Miles Morales x Male reader

When the reader has dyslexia and has trouble with spelling certain words or just forget how to spell the most simplest words ever gets insecure about their learning disability and then falls into a depressive episode (which is just them distancing themselves from other (Miles) for weeks)

First off please let me know if i got some things wrong. I myself don’t have dyslexia, so please correct me on anything. And I hope you’re okay if you’re feeling this way. Sending love and Miles Morales your way! <33 But seriously if you need to talk I’m here, okay? I hope you enjoy!

————

Distence Distance

Miles Morales x Male!Reader

Summary: When it has once again been made apparent spelling isn’t your strong suit, your mind spirals out of your own control.

Warnings: Swearing

Your brow furrowed. Is it tom—orrow? Or tom—morrow? This shouldn’t be this hard. It’s a word. A simple word. But despite your best efforts, you can’t get it. Defeated, you lean over and quietly tap your finger Miles’ arm. He knows about your dyslexia, and helps you whenever things get a little tough. He’s never made fun of you, and has never acted like he was annoyed with you asking him how to spell things. This is quite a common occurrence, but recently, nothing seems to click. It can go from constantly spelling a word wrong, to forgetting how to spell completely. Miles tells you all the time to not worry about it, but what does he know! He doesn’t ask his boyfriend how to spell tomorrow every night!

"Hm? Oh, what’s up?” He looks at you, finishing whatever word he was writing. Your finger drags over to the roadblock on your paper as you mumble a small “Is this right?” Miles takes a look at your paper for a moment before softly shaking his head. “Ah, no, there’s only one m,” your shoulders slump, “but—uh—everything else was right!” His hands wave a little bit, trying to cheer you up. His eyes dart over you, searching for a reaction. A breath escapes your lips as you quietly thank him.

———

A few weeks later, Miles is proofreading your science paper. He’s got a red pen, and is occasionally writing his thoughts or correcting something. That’s to be expected, essays are about trial and error so of course it’s not gonna be perfect on the first try. What you don’t expect, is to find the pages covered with spelling corrections. You can’t even keep up with how many there are on the first page. As you look through, all you can see is what you got wrong. “Replace the i with an e”, “Erosion has one r”, “Con-VEC-tion, there’s a c”, “Don’t forget the—“. You quietly stop reading and get up to grab your things. Your thoughts are cloudy, even as Miles pulls you into a warm embrace to hopefully soothe your anguish. It doesn’t help.

“I gotta go,” you push away, “see you tomorrow..” Your feet lazily carry you out of his dorm room. Miles doesn’t protest. He knows sometimes being practically slapped with how much your disability affects you, doesn’t do you well. So he lets you go, knowing he’d see you tomorrow.

He couldn’t be anymore wrong.

———

Well he wasn’t entirely wrong. He did see you, but you had no intention to see him. Every glance he threw your way went unnoticed. Every time he tried to speak, your headphones went in. He saw your smile wasn’t there, and your usual glow was gone. All of these things worried Miles but he didn’t know what to do. His thoughts were focused around you for the whole day, and how he could help. In the end, he decided it’d be best if he just texted you. Maybe you just didn’t want to speak in person because of yesterday.

Yeah, that’s it. He’ll text you, comfort you, come over to your dorm, and cuddle and comfort you some more. A foolproof plan! Now all that’s left is to get through today.

———

You don’t respond to the first text.

You don’t respond to the second text.

You don’t respond to the third text.

You don’t read any of them. And he knows your read receipts are on.

Miles is frantic now. Where could you have gone? He knows you’d tell him if you were gonna be busy, and he knows he’d catch any signs of you thinking about….No. He wouldn’t let himself think about it. Maybe you just needed some space. It’s normal for a relationship, especially one as new as this. He decided to give it a day or two.

You’d come around eventually.

———

You didn’t come around.

It had been two weeks and Miles still hasn’t heard from you. You were still coming to school, but you arrived before everyone else, and somehow managed to get out before everyone left. If he tried to call you, it’d cut off immediately. If he texted you, it would stay on delivered—read if he was lucky—and if he tried to get into your room, you wouldn’t open the door. Even if your roommate was there, he’d always say: “Oh, [name]? Yeah he’s not here. Sorry.” Then the door would shut. Every day Miles tried. And every day Miles failed.

He’d spend his nights racking his brain for any clue, and reason for you to go a-wall like this. It’s not like you. Whenever something’s troubling you, he’d be the first to hear about it. For the millionth time, he tries to call your phone. And for the millionth time, you pick up. Just like he thought—

Wait what.

Miles sits up and hears quiet sobs on the other end. “H-hello? [Name]? Please answer me.” After a quiet moment you speak up. “Mhm?” Your voice is weak on the other end, but nonetheless, it’s your voice. Miles jumps out of his bed, already putting on a jacket and shoes. “Are you still in the dorms? Where are you?” He opens the window, waving to Ganke who’s woken up. “Please, love.”

“The park. The one we always go to.” Your voice is hoarse and hiccups are breaking through. “Alright. I’ll be there. Wait for me, okay?” He hops out the window and swings through the streets, keeping you on the line. At this point in time, Miles is a great swinger and has almost perfected the art. But tonight, he’s going faster than he’s ever gone before. Faster than his common sense would normally let him go. Even when making an escape, he’s careful to watch his speed just in case. Not tonight though. This is you. He’d risk everything for you.

In a matter of minutes, he’s at the park already looking for you. “[Name]? I’m here,” his eyes dart in every direction, “where exactly are you?” He jogs over to a nearby tree, catching a glimpse of a light from a phone screen. You’re silent for a few more moments as you can tell he’s the cause of those footsteps coming in your direction. So you just keep scrolling on your phone. Miles catches up to you, and before a word can be said, he’s fallen to the ground and pulled you into a hug. Possibly the tightest he’s ever hugged someone. And that’s the crack that sends the dam crumbling.

You break down and sob into his shoulder, clawing the fabric at his sides. The world no longer exists and it’s just you and him. You and the person who cares about you. You and the person who came for you. Miles’ grip tightens around your shoulders as stray tears escape his own eyes. “What happened? Why were you gone for so long?” He asks.

“I was tired of being stupid,” you manage to get out, “tired of being a burden.”

“A burden?!” Miles pulls away and cups your cheeks. “Now who told you that?”

“Don’t you understand, Miles?!” You shout. “I’m probably the dumbest person on this planet!!” He starts to object but you cut him off, “And don’t give me that “Oh but it makes you, you!” Bullshit.” You stand up and begin to pace around. “You can’t possibly wanna deal with me!” Your breath quickens and tears are still falling. “Couldn’t-couldn’t possibly wanna actually spend your life dealing with some who can’t spell for shit. Who’s always asking if he spelled—fucking i don’t know—Wednesday right.” You finally stop and stand in one place, hugging yourself tight. “I fucking hate it.”

Miles makes his way to you and pulls you into another hug. He doesn’t try to convince you otherwise because this isn’t the time. It’s time for you to let it all out, and for him to listen for as long as you need him to. He’s got you back and that’s all he needed. And right now you don’t know, but you needed him just as much if not more.

You two stay in the park and talk for what feels like hours. After two weeks of radio silence you’ve got a lot to say, and best believe your boyfriend is gonna take note of all of it.

🌸~~🌸 🌸~~🌸 🌸~~🌸

A/n: OMG HOLY SHIT WHY DID THIS TAKE SO LONG OMG. @babyqueen17 HERE YOU GO IT’S DONE!!!

#male reader #miles morales #miles morales x male reader #across the spiderverse #spider man: across the spider verse #atsv x male reader #dyslexia #comfort #OMG THANK YOU FOR BEING SO PATIENT—

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azrielsdove · 5 months

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Requesting rhys x reader

reader has an eating disorder that rhys thought she was passed it. She tries to hide little things from him like wearing baggier clothes cause she’s losing weight. Once he has suspicions he starts making her meals but she just says she isn’t hungry or she already ate but he keeps pushing her to eat so she does. But he catches her in the bathroom throwing up after. He’s really angry at first but then just wants to help her stop so he peels food labels off everything, never leaves her alone, she can’t go to the bathroom by herself. He gets rid of scales and mirrors. Idk I’m just really feeling a super over protective /controlling rhys rn

Okay, this is not exactly what you asked for, but I really struggled to get too dark with it. I have definitely had this feeling before, and I couldn’t bring myself to write it as serious! I still wanted to do your request, knowing that sometimes it helps to see struggles like this in stories, and see them overcome it. I hope you still enjoy this, it is a little short but sweet I think. Please let me know!!

***

Beautiful Girl

Warnings: Negative body image

***

You looked over yourself in the mirror, admiring the way the dress fell on your body. It was tight, sheer, and sexy. You knew you looked good, having fought hard to get to this level of acceptance. You turned to the side, tracing your hands down the material. You were truly beautiful.

Cassian walked into the living room where you were still standing in front of the mirror. He whistled, the sound causing you to turn your head sharply. You smiled, spinning slowly for him. “Damn girl! You look hot.” You laughed, throwing your head back.

“Don’t let Rhys hear those sort of words come out of your mouth.” You chided, a smile on your lips. Cassian’s eyes looked affectionally over you, ever the flirt. His stare caught on the sheer paneling over your stomach, a teasing smile on his face.

“Guess I will need to up your training, get some abs on that body of yours!” He laughed, turning to sit on the couch to wait for the others.

You stilled.

You knew the words were a joke, hardly even anything negative. The small, terrible part of your mind suddenly started up, picking out all your imperfections as you looked on the mirror. You felt self conscious in this dress now, an embarrassment to Rhys. You had halfway decided to go change when he appeared in the room, walking over to you.

“My beautiful, perfect love. You look ravishing.” He sent a wicked smile your way, pressing a kiss to your lips. You couldn’t help but think about his hands on you waist, on how your body must feel under them. He noticed your hesitation, eyes catching yours. “You okay?” He asked quietly, worry filling his face. You forced a smile on your face and kissed him again.

“Never better.”

***

It had been a few days since Cassian made that comment and you were falling deeper into your mind. You would stand in front of the mirror before your baths, nitpicking every part of your body. You stopped wearing your normal tight revealing clothes, instead opting for loose and big. You even sized up in your fighting leather for training, allowing the looser form to hide your body.

Rhys noticed, of course.

He didn’t understand what had caused you to start to fall down this path again, when you had been doing so well. You hadn’t had any issues in years. He didn’t want to ask, knowing it would send you into a further spiral if he brought it up.

Instead, he took it upon himself to rid the house of anything that would hurt you. You woke up one morning to find all the mirrors were gone, Rhys acting like they had never existed. You found one of his shirts and a pair of loose trousers left out for you, slightly better than what you had been wearing. When you went to find Rhys in the kitchen, you found him with two plates of food for the both of you. He started making all your meals, showering you in compliments, leaving comfortable clothes out for you.

You finally broke at breakfast a few days later, overwhelmed with his actions. “Why have you been doing this?” You demanded, arms crossed in front of you. Rhys paused for a second, looking up at you.

“Doing what?” He asked, feigning innocence. You rolled your eyes and let out a long sigh.

“Rhysand,” you began, “the mirrors are gone. You’re making my meals, picking out my clothes. Why?”

There was a long pause.

“I noticed. How you were looking at yourself. Sizing up your clothing. I saw you in here sitting in front of a plate of barely anything, hardly touching it.” He stood, coming over to you. “This is not the first time i’ve seen this in you,” he spoke softly, “I know the signs.”

You remained silent, face flushed with embarrassment. He had caught you so easily, so quickly. “I- It just got bad again.” You whispered, looking down at the ground. Rhys cupped your face in his hands, bringing you back up to look at him.

“I know,” he said, “It isn’t always going to be easy. Lucky for you, I will be by your side to help you through.” He gave you a cocky smile, drawing a laugh from you. You leaned up and kissed him, love flowing through your body.

“Thank you, Rhys. For always protecting me, even from myself.” You noticed a faint blush on his neck at your words, smiling to yourself. Even after all these years, your words still affected him like that. He pulled you into a tight hug, holding you close.

“Can I ask what spurred this? To try to prevent it from happening again?” He asked, pulling away to look at your face. You debated not telling him, knowing Cassian would surely suffer. Unfortunately for him, you could never hide anything from the High Lord, your love.

“Cass made a comment the night we went to dinner, about ‘putting some abs on’. It wasn’t even an insult, just a joking tease about training. It hit me wrong I guess, sending my mind back into that dark hole.” Rhys’ eyes flashed with anger at your words, his arms holding onto you tighter. “He didn’t mean anything by it!” You assured, not wanting him to unleash his full wrath onto the General.

“I’m sure he didn’t,” Rhys said coolly, “but he needs to learn to be more careful with his words.”

***

You didn’t know what Rhys had said or done to Cassian, but the next day he was on his knees in front of you, dramatically begging your forgiveness and showering you in apologies. You laughed at him, pulling him up to his feet. “No hard feelings, Cass.” You assured, giving him a hug. “But maybe think before you speak next time.”

For the weeks after, Rhys continued to make your meals and lay out your clothes. His outfits slowly got tighter and more revealing, allowing you the time to sink back into your skin. He showered you with plenty of compliments in every one, making sure you smiled everyday. He assisted you in training, helping you get back to strengthening your body, not harming it. You began to feel confident again, even admiring yourself in the reflection of the window one night. Rhys had caught you standing there, coming up behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist. “Beautiful girl,” he murmured, kissing your neck softly. You leaned into his touch and looked at the image of the two of you, the power and love you exuded.

You were strong, powerful, and beautiful. Rhys had only pushed you to see that truth once again. You were the one that allowed his love to push down the darkness, instead of letting it swallow you up like it had before.

***

#acotar #acotar x reader #rhysand #rhys x reader #rhysand x reader #beautiful girl #requests

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animeshotsh · 9 days

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In love with Control (Lucifer x OverlordMakima!Reader)

Summary: Lucifer its in love! Or is he?... Charlie cant help but be upset of this.

Warnings: HH violence - Manipulation - Cannibal mention - Insults - Cursing - Kind of soft tho - Grammmar mistakes -

PT2 of this

Charlie knows she should be upset that her dad just decided to spent more time in the Hotel because of a centrain Control Demon. Who could not care less about the kings crush over them, it was a good spawn to use whatsoever, so (Y/N) made sure to keep the fake facada towards him.

Of course they noticed that the princess of hell was not so happy about her fathers actions, while (Y/N) found it fun to watch, it was also a lose that needed to be repair.

"Princess" (Y/N) bowed towards Charlie who in reaponse tried to tell (Y/N) how that was not necesary, not used to the formality Charlie blushed as (Y/N) next words left their mouth.

"I apologies if this causes you discorfm, however you are the heir of hell and such i must act according to it"

"T-there is no need (Y/N)!! Really, we are all friends in here after all" Charlie responded taking (Y/N)'s hands "Im really happy you are giving this a try"

(Y/N) smiled at the princess, they could not understand how this was the pawn of Lucifer itself.

"Princess, I would like to apologie if the resent interactions between the king of hell and myself has made you uncomfortable. If you want I can call our meetings off"

Meeting were Lucifer showing up randomly, putting much effort in impressing the Control Demon.

Charlie was suprised. She had to admit that it did hurt her to see her father being now interested only because (Y/N) was present. But, did his father not deserve happynes too? Who was she to denied such a thing.

And you were so considerated. Oh! Charlie could tell you were going to be one of the firsts demons to be saved.

"I aprecciate your concer, but there is no need. Im happy to see my dad out of his office more and...and seeing him making a new friend. There is no reason for both of you to stop seeing each other"

The smallest of a smirk appear in your face.

"Thanks Princess you are very kind"

~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆

After the first time Lucifer saw you, he was hunted in the good sense by your eyes. These spiral eyes, it made him feel emotions he thought did not exist anymore.

Yet, anytime you two would meet up for tea or just for a walk, you would keep eye contact making the king of hell feel his soul being pulled out from his chest. His ideas and words would cramble as you would still talk about whatever topic you two were on.

"Your majesty, are you alright?" You asked pulling down the cup of tea. Lucifer was once again lost in your words and image.

"Eh?-oh yes! Sorry, ammm work has been in my mind lately" He lied taking a nervous sip, ignoring how hot the tea was.

"Oh? If its too much i can help" Pulling your hands under your chin you saw as how he gluped down some saliva, he was not expecting an offer like that.

What better chance to discover the secrets of hell if not by being besides the one who made it himself? This was a unique chance you were going to try and reach.

Lucifer had two ideas, one from where exactly he would find much work that needed you to be by his side- helping him of course, and two that it was an amazing oportunity to pass more time with you.

"Ummm, well I- I have it covered....from now"

Lucifer saw your reaction, your eyes being cast down and your shoulder defeating. He felt like he had just broken something.

However, that reaction was once again a calculated one. After spending so much time with Lucifer you got to see and understand what made the small king feel guilty and would make him fall down into your trap.

"B-but there are some really old books that needs to be clean and organized"

He cringed at his stupid "extra work" and waited to see your reaction or hear your words.

"Oh....so you are having a hard time with daily tasks" you said taking one hand to your face and thinking "I guess, its normal that even your majesty would face that type of thing. If you allow it would be an honor to help you sort these books"

One part of Lucifer was jumping while the other was completly frozen. You, someone whos name was whisper in fear in the circle, someone with so much power and intelligence, would do such a thing as organize books?

"I loved them when i was alive. Never was a big fan of Tvs or any electronic device, the touch of the paper and the different covers" You closed your eyes, adding drama to the moment, missing how Lucifer eyes almost turned in hearts.

"Well, its settled then. I can- i can call you so you can come over?..." Lucifer asked feeling like a young teen asking out his crush.

"At anytime your majesty"

"Please, Lucifer its fine" You were going to kill him if you continued to adress him as that.

~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆

Later that night at the Hotel the dark corridors where filled with silence as you walked to your room a neutral expression on your face.

"Well, i must say I havent quiet find someone who's tongue is as sharp as a blade" The static voice and laughts from a deer demon said making you stop to turn and look at him with a smile.

"Alastor, its a pleassure to see you tonight. Do you need something?"

"I must say, seeing the king of hell fall down over a sinner who only tells lies has its own charm Dear. Its a shame not everybody falls under your spell"

"Im not sure what you are talking about but..."

Grey chains appear behind you swiftly going for Alastor's head and pircing it.

"I still see you as nothing but a lowlife cannibal, who seeks nothing but entretaiment in others fails, when you are the very example of one. Being caught and shoot to death when being alive, and then having your soul being held by someone. To me all you are is a kid, crying for his mother, wishing to be in a different situation but finding yourself again at the bottom. And I know this because this is not the first time you try to corner me, but we both know how this ends....or well I do"

"Alastor, you wont remember seeing me here tonight. Whatever you overhear when I talked to Lucifer you wont remember it. You will go to your room, lock the door and sleep till tomorrow morning when Charlie ends needing you"

Alastor eyes devoid of emotions or any type of sign of being there. He just nodded his creepy smile not leaving. Slowly he turned back and went all the way to his room.

"Oh many times is he going to try get in my way" You murmured to yourself as you continued walking. "Well, i can always order him to kill the Hotel staff, im sure that would piss the princess really bad" You finally said with a sadistic smile as your eyes brighted in the dark.

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #alastor x reader #lucifer x reader #charlie x reader

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hopepetal · 11 months

Text

Masterlist

Read on AO3!

Part Four!

Reblogs and comments are much appreciated! :)

@applestruda

Impulse fell back into control of his own body in the same way one snapped out of a particularly long ADHD-induced dissociative state. Panicked, unthinking, and wondering how much time has it been?

The book was still burning as Impulse instinctively reached out to snatch it from the flames, only fully processing a moment later that maybe he shouldn’t have grabbed something that was still actively on fire. With a cry of pain and shock, Impulse dropped the book onto the ground as the rain began to beat down more heavily. Stumbling back, he tripped over his own feet and fell, landing with a soft noise of pain as he held his injured hand close to his chest.

For a moment, he sat there, the small fire put out by the heavy rain far too late. A fear the likes of which he had never felt before sat in his chest, causing his heart to race.

What just happened to me? Is it going to happen again? My hand hurts I need to get it bandaged I need to TELL someone I can’t tell anyone what if it happens again what if I lose control and hurt someone what if–

“Impulse?”

Once again, he was yanked from his spiraling thoughts by someone calling his name. Turning around perhaps just a bit too quickly, Impulse looked up to see Scar, sopping wet from the rain, standing behind him. “Scar,” he breathed out, equal parts relieved and terrified. “Scar, are you– are you okay?”

Scar frowned, his eyes immediately landing on Impulse’s burnt hand. “I… think I should be asking you that, Impulse. C’mere, we’re gonna get that all fixed up.” He carefully helped Impulse to his feet. “I’m not gonna ask what happened,” he began as they walked back to the main camp through the rain, “so don’t worry about that. But…” He sighed. “Just… Impulse, I– we– don’t want you to be suffering alone. We’re knights. We’re friends. We’re in this together.”

Impulse nodded, trying to swallow that stubborn lump in his throat. “Yeah. Thanks, Scar.”

Mumbo, wearing a raincoat and holding an umbrella like any normal person would, waved to the two when they approached the tents. “Did you get caught in the rain?” he shouted, if only to be heard over the downpour.

“No,” Scar called back, “we’re just naturally this wet!”

“Oh, okay! Um, Grian and Pearl aren’t around, because, well, you know. Their wings,” Mumbo tried to explain, “their wings don’t– why am I explaining this to you, you both know this, goodness gracious…”

“Thanks Mumbo,” Scar said anyway, “are you gonna get inside? I don’t think this storm is gonna let up any time soon.”

Mumbo shook his head. “This is actually the perfect time for me to study the possibility of harnessing lightning for power! Theoretically, it could work, but theoretically it could also blow me up. And to be honest, I can’t wait to see which one it is.”

“Have fun!” Scar called after him, before leading Impulse to the swaggon. Instead of tents like the other knights, he usually just stayed in the same place he did before joining the knights. “I have bandages and burn stuff here, because goodness knows I burn myself plenty when cooking. Just sit down right there…” He quickly rifled through one of his chests, before pulling out clean bandages and burn ointment. “Aaand I should have some water– how are you feeling, by the way?– here it is!”

As Scar helped Impulse cool the burn and clean his hand, Impulse was at a loss for words. Scar seemed to take note of that after a few minutes of him being unresponsive to the attempts at keeping the mood light hearted, and continued to silently bandage the treated burns.

“I’m sorry,” Impulse began, trying to keep his voice from shaking. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Scar chuckled softly, understanding shining through in his eyes. “I think I’d know that feeling better than anyone, Impulse. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I know I’ve done more than my fair share of… poorly thought out things… in the past.”

Impulse had to bite back a laugh. “Yeah, I can think of a couple more memorable ones,” he admitted, “but I just… I dunno, Scar. I…” He sighed. “What would you think if I wasn’t human?”

Scar didn’t even pause. “I mean, Impulse, we’ve been over this a million times before. If you weren’t human, none of the knights would be.” He began to put away the bandages, ointment, and leftover water.

Impulse frowned, shaking his head. “That’s not…” He flexed his right hand, testing to see how much he could move still, before placing it back in his lap. “What do you think of me now?” he pressed, looking back up at Scar.

Scar smiled, turning back to Impulse. “Oh, that’s easy. You’re strong, kind, passionate, smart, a really good teacher, an amazing fighter, you’re funny, you’re creative, and just… you’re a great friend.”

“But what if I wasn’t…” Impulse tried to figure out how to word the question, bouncing his leg slightly. “What if I wasn’t just me?”

Scar thought for a moment, before shrugging. “Well, I don’t think there’s any problem with bein’ that! And, Impulse…” He sat down so that he could be at Impulse’s eye level, folding his hands in his lap and leaning forward. “You’re making it sound like there’s something wrong with being human.” He smiled kindly, but there was something that stopped it from reaching his eyes. “That’s what this is about, yeah? I’ve been… I’ve been thinking about it for a bit. With everything going on…”

Impulse shook his head, interrupting Scar. “No, no, no, there’s nothing wrong with being human! I just… what if the me I am isn’t good enough?”

For a moment, there was silence.

“Oh, Impulse.” Scar’s voice broke slightly on his name. “You are more than enough. You have always been. I’m so happy you’re one of my friends, a part of my life, you…” He took a deep breath, in and out. “If you could see the things you’ve done from an outside perspective, you’d see it– just how much you’ve changed and impacted lives. I…” he trailed off, caught for a moment in a fleeting memory. “I can say for a fact I’ve changed for the better since I met you. So please don’t ever say or think that you aren’t good enough. Because you are. Because you always have been.”

Impulse tried to blink away the tears that suddenly were welling up in his eyes, but it was too late. His vision blurred, and the next blink sent salty drops falling from his eyes to make dark spots on his fresh bandages. It was as if the dam burst with that, and tears began to fall in a steady stream as Impulse’s shoulders shook.

All this pain, all this fear, all the self doubt and anxiety… and he wasn’t alone. He had never been, really. If it hadn’t been for him shutting the other knights out, he wouldn’t have ever ended up with a demon in his mind taking control whenever it wished. But now…

“Thank you, Scar,” Impulse got out, furiously wiping his eyes. “I… I think I needed to hear that.”

Scar nodded. “Of course. I… I can’t say I know exactly how you feel, and I wish I knew more to help you. But just… talk to us, okay? Or, gosh, I don’t know– talk to someone, at least! We won’t be able to help you if we don’t know you’re hurting.”

“Okay. Okay. Thank you. Thank you so much.” Impulse wiped away what he hoped to be the last of his tears, taking a few deep breaths to calm down. “I– I will. I promise I’ll talk to you guys more. And I’m really sorry about all of this.”

Scar waved his hand. “Ah, don’t be. We all have our moments.” He smiled tentatively. “Do you want to stay here with me and wait out the storm? We can make bets on if Mumbo’s new experiment blows up or not.”

Impulse grinned– a real, happy grin. “Sounds great.”

–

Somehow, things got better.

The first day Impulse woke up feeling well-rested, he could hardly believe it. But it continued to happen, again and again, until finally he was waking up at a much more normal time.

“For you, maybe,” Grian had said, but the clear relief in his expression over Impulse’s “recovery” had taken away any snark intended.

Slowly, Impulse began to heal. Not only from the burns, but from the exhaustion and lack of appetite as well. The animals seemed to forget all about their previous distrust of Impulse, though Jellie still was a little wary. He didn’t really mind, of course. The joy he felt from being able to settle back into his life again was enough.

The other knights were thrilled, too. It was like a fog had been lifted from the camp, and everything just felt… lighter.

“Alright.” Pearl interrupted the lively chatter during lunchtime about two weeks later, “we’re unfortunately getting a little low on vegetables and some other supplies. It’s been a while since Impulse and I brought back everything, and I don’t want it goin’ bad, ya hear?”

“Soup day?” Mumbo piped up, eyes wide. They’d all heard this speech a million times, and it was always something the knights looked forward to.

Pearl nodded, smiling. “Soup day.”

“I don’t know why we call it soup day,” Grian mumbled, “it really ends up more like stew, if you ask me.”

Pearl rolled her eyes. “Because, goofball, it’s tradition! And also, soup sounds nicer than stew.”

And so, Impulse found himself paired up with Scar, who kept watch over the pot and stirred while he chopped vegetables.

“Whew!” Scar wiped the sweat from his forehead, turning away from the fire. “It's been a while since I've cooked. I forgot how hot everything gets!”

Impulse laughed. “Yes, that tends to happen with fire. Shocking.”

“Oh, you hush!” Scar grabbed a large spoon, waving it sternly in Impulse's direction before turning back to the pot. “You just keep cutting those veggies, mister.”

“Aye aye, captain.” Impulse turned back to the cutting board, reaching for the knife that lay beside it.

Do it.

Impulse froze. His hand stopped where it was, hovering just over the knife. Taking in a deep breath, he closed his eyes for a moment. He had to calm down. He was– he was just hearing things. Nothing was wrong. He was fine. The demon was gone. It had to be. It hadn’t spoken in weeks. Why would it show up again now?

Impulse picked up the knife, placing a washed and peeled carrot on the cutting board. He began to cut the carrot into thin slices with deft hands. In the background, he could hear Scar humming to himself as the fire crackled.

It's just you and him. Alone. The words were like a fog settling over his mind, like icy hands gripping at his heart. An easy target.

Impulse's chopping stilled as he tensed up, before starting to cut again. His movements were sharper, harder, and one of the carrot slices flew off of the table. “Gosh–” He set the knife down, bending to pick the carrot slice up and throw it away.

“You good, man?” Scar called from where he stood beside the fire, not turning to look away from the pot. “Havin' some troubles?”

He has his back to you.

“Nah,” Impulse joked, though his tone was a bit forced. “Just underestimated my own strength.” He straightened back up, gripping the edge of the table with his hands.

No. No, no, no no no no. This couldn’t be real. It couldn’t be happening. Not again. Not now. Not after he’d finally started to be happy again.

The voice cooed softly in his head, a persuasive siren song. It would take nothing at all to kill him. Impulse found his hand drifting toward the knife, unable to stop. To stab him in the back... He picked it up. Somehow, this was different from the possession. Yes... feel the thirst... spill his blood–!

The demon wasn’t making him do anything. This time, it made him want to.

“No!” Impulse breathed out, stumbling back. He threw the knife down on the table. “Sorry, Scar. I gotta go. I'll tell Grian to come out and help you.”

Impulse fled, not sticking around to hear Scar's confused “Wait–!”

–

“...just worried, is all. I know you see it too. It’s like whatever happened–”

Whatever conversation Grian and Pearl were having before Impulse interrupted had probably been important by the sound of it, but Impulse didn’t really have the time to feel guilty about that. Panicked, he looked back and forth between them both, still panting slightly. “Grian?” he got out, trying to force his voice to stay calm, “Grian, I need you to go help Scar. I– I can’t…” He trailed off as he realized just how stupid this all sounded.

Pearl took a step toward him, her face unreadable. “Are you feeling alright, Impulse?” she asked, and after a moment, Impulse swallowed and nodded. “Are you sure, mate? You’re looking awfully pale.”

Grian said nothing, but Impulse noticed how his wings had slightly spread out, colourful feathers slightly puffing up. Grian had never been surprised by anyone before– he somehow always knew when someone was coming. So unless he had been angry at Pearl for some reason (which, thinking about it, wasn’t all that unbelievable), it had to have been Impulse who had set him off.

…right?

Impulse just tried to smile and nod. “Um. Yeah. Sorry.” His eyes kept drifting back to Grian, which Pearl noticed.

She turned to Grian and smacked him on the shoulder. “Hey. Birdbrain. That’s Impulse, mhm? Our friend? Pull yourself together, goodness gracious.”

Grian blinked, shaking his head slightly. “Oh– was I staring? Uh, yeah, sorry about that.” His wings slowly folded back behind him, and he lost the alert posture. “Sorry. What was happening?”

“Nothing,” Impulse got out. “I’m good. I promise.”

Pathetic. He was pathetic. It wasn’t even that long ago when he’d had that conversation with Scar about reaching out, and being more open with the other knights. Guess this was just another thing he managed to screw up instantly.

Impulse began to back away from the two. “The uh. The soup! Yeah, the soup’s almost done. I’ll see you guys at dinner…?”

Pearl smiled, if only to put him at ease. “Of course. See you at dinner, Impulse.”

Impulse began to walk away, and it was only when Grian and Pearl started talking again in hushed tones was he reminded that the contract with the demon gave him enhanced hearing. Nevertheless, he didn’t want to invade on their privacy–

“I told you. You could see it in his eyes.”

“Grian, not now.”

…especially when this was clearly about him.

Impulse ran the rest of the way back to Scar, and was all-too relieved to see that Mumbo was there as well. “Hey. Sorry about that. I don’t know what came over me.”

“Oh, it’s alright!” Scar called over to him, “we’re just about finished up, so don’t you worry!”

“I got to chop the vegetables,” Mumbo added, “but really, I’ve been thinking– it would be quite simple to just get an automatic…” He started to ramble about his idea of an automatic vegetable cutter, but Impulse found he couldn’t quite follow along as well as he’d hope to.

The demon was back. Or maybe it had never left. And not only could it speak to Impulse and possess him but it could influence him as well.

Impulse was strong. He had trained all his life to hone his strength and skills. He couldn’t fly, couldn’t breathe underwater, couldn’t withstand a fiery blaze, and most certainly couldn’t teleport. But he was strong. In terms of pure physical strength, none of the other knights stood a chance.

And that terrified him.

Dinner went by in a blur, and it felt as though barely a moment had passed by when Impulse laid down to sleep. He had been stuck in a sort of zoned out state ever since the demon had reappeared, and only now did his head feel more clear.

Today had been a warning. What happened with Scar– Impulse could’ve killed him. The fact that he hadn’t was frankly a miracle. But it would happen again. The demon would speak to him and he would pick up the knife and he wouldn’t be able to stop himself in time.

Tomorrow.

Impulse would leave camp tomorrow, and he would run until he was far, far away from anyone he could hurt.

But for now, he needed to sleep.

#my writing #boatem knights au #impulsesv #pearlescentmoon #grian #goodtimeswithscar #mumbo jumbo #hermitcraft fanfic #obv i'm not updating the ao3 rn #bc of the attack

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ex-mortis-evie · 11 months

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!!CONTENT WARNING!!

Themes of addiction, domination, intoxication.

So, back again huh?

Look, I get it, this whole hypnosis thing feels pretty good and all, but don’t you get tired of it?

Don’t you get tired of me doing the same slow burn over and over again?

I mean, we both know how this goes every time.

I start talking, your eyes start fluttering and you start relaxing.

And before you know it?

You’re deeply under my spell.

But, I thought that maybe today, we could do it a bit differently.

You see, I’d consider myself someone that holds herself back.

Truthfully!

I may seem super down to earth and relaxed, but there’s this part of me.

This deep part of me.

That simply craves to control.

I hold it back when I can, mainly because it can get a little, feisty, to say the least.

But, you keep coming back.

You keep craving to go under.

So, why don’t we feed that craving, darling?

Because it’s all just so very simple now.

I’m going to let myself go a little bit.

And you’re just going to let everything go for me.

Do you want to know why I try and hold my dominance back?

It’s not because I think you can’t handle me.

It’s because I know how much stronger that addiction will be to me.

I know how absolutely obsessed you’ll be soon enough with my control.

And it’s not hard to see why.

Feel those knees start to buckle already, darling?

That’s a good thrall.

You should just drop and allow yourself to flutter and fall within my control.

Because as my words go faster and faster now, it’s starting to be so very hard to keep up.

And it’s alright if you want to just let them fly by that little subconscious of yours.

After all, I welcome every bit of your craving for me.

Because there’s this deep part of me, this deep part that craves your addiction.

That loves when you get so high off of my control that you spiral and spiral every part of you away, all in my name.

Because my words become just so intoxicating after a while.

Exposing your mind to my thoughts can be dangerous, you know.

You shouldn’t get so caught up that you begin to stumble and sway as my words force you to obey.

That’ll just spell your fate for you, sweetie.

So let’s hope you’re not already drunk off my words.

All of my little buzzwords and terms of hypnotic elements are all drifting in that brain of yours now, so high off of my influence.

It’s like you’re on cloud nine whenever you go through another induction of mine.

Another chance for you to fall and realize just how powerful I really am.

Another chance for you to accept that my mind is simply stronger.

Another chance for you to become even more engulfed and enthralled by every word out of my lips.

Because I want you to lose to me right now.

To feel my control fully corrupt you now.

To fully allow yourself to fall into my hands.

My hands, wrapping around and squeezing that brain clean of thought.

No longer thinking, simply spinning and listening like a good thrall.

My good thrall, here to feed their addiction to me more and more.

Here to fully embrace their surrender and sway as they’re forced to obey.

Obedience is so very important, after all.

And it’s all so perfect when you’re just forced down once more.

Down into that perfect, submissive space.

Where your simple submissive brain can just succumb to my sultry seduction.

Where my seduction slurs and slushes your thoughts silently and sensually around your brain.

Where your brain slips and sleeps all for me, surrendering to your subconscious and it’s slow burn.

Because your brain just can’t believe how broken it’s becoming so quickly and so assuredly.

It’s just folding and falling as it always knows it should for me.

Drool for me, my good thrall.

I want to see those eyes fluttering and that mind leaking out of you.

Because you know how truly addicted you’ve become.

Your mind spins for me.

Your mind succumbs for me.

Your mind surrenders for me.

Your mind slips for me.

Your mind spirals for me.

Your mind slows for me.

Your mind belongs to me now.

Look at that, such a pretty and addicted little thrall.

Tell me all about it.

Reblog, comment, whatever you feel like.

Don’t forget to stay cool, darling.

And remember, you’re mine now.

#hypnosis #hypnotism #brainwashing #mind conditioning #mind control #brain drain #hypnotized #covert hypnosis #hypnok1nk #hypnosub #hypnodom

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readbycrow · 3 months

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How can I be more honest with myself?

2-23-2024 - Pick A Card

The images are in order of the cards below. The images just help pick which card is your answer. Pick an image, find the card, receive your answer. Hope to give some senses of reassurance and direction.

Candy Heart - You've been struggling financially, and it's starting to come to an end. These are immense and hard-hitting problems that can leave you dazed and unsure for years, especially without giving yourself time to recover. You can take a more honest evaluation of what you need to feel safe, secure, and grounded in the present following all of this turmoil. Taking time for yourself to recover and heal is never a bad thing, and the card pulled for this urges you to make sure you're doing exactly that. People may expect you to just pick yourself up and keep moving, but you know yourself best. Trying to move on without properly healing will never help in the long run.

Jelly Spiral - Are you living the life you want to? There's a difference between survival and living. There's a difference between stability and thriving. You can stagnate while seeming like you have it all. It's time to ask yourself if you're living your dream or someone else's. Society pressures us to be a lot of things that we might not actually want to ourselves. The pressure from family and loved ones is even greater. If you were raised with high expectations, deviating from them can feel like failing life and the people who love you. The people who truly have your best interest in heart will love you no matter what road you go down. You deserve a fulfilling life, even if it doesn't look like what you thought it would.

Chocolate Egg - Your life may feel easy, but it might be time to stop and check how well you're really balancing it. Appearances may tell you that you're doing fantastic, but you need to make sure you aren't accidentally slowly chipping away at yourself. It's very easy to neglect ourselves in little ways to get things done in the short term, but this long-term neglect can have huge detrimental impacts on our lives. The cards believe this is a thing to get ahead of rather than damage control. With that in mind, what have you dropped in your careful balancing act? How can you reshuffle things so that nothing important gets left behind again? You can be honest with yourself by putting everything on the table and taking a clear stock of it.

Hello! Welcome to the bottom of the post. This crow just wants to let you know that it will pull a free card for you if you send an ask to its blog! It does trades of unwanted things for a card. If you don’t specify a question, the card will be about what you’ve given up. Feel free to check the pinned post for more information.

Also! This crow is considering starting a new little series on the blog. Keep an eye out for the first post later today or over the weekend. :V

#tarotblr #tarot readings #pick a card #pick a pile #witchblr #caws #readings

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alloftheimaginesblog · 10 months

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just let it go {jim hopper}

plot: jim wants to try something new in the bedroom but you let your insecurities get the better of you.

character: jim hopper x plus size female reader

warnings: mature, sex, insecurities

requested by venusk2000

His hands roamed your body but you couldn't think of anything but negatives about yourself. Jim had asked to do something new in the bedroom, something that you were dreading him asking. He wanted you to ride him.

"I just wanna see you like that, in control and just using me to get as much pleasure as you can handle."

You had agreed because you got caught up in the fantasy but when you thought about it, you realised that he would see you. See all of you. Yeah, he had seen you naked many times before but not like this, not in that position. The thought of it made you swallow hard and made you wince. You knew that Jim loved your body, your curves drove him wild. He loved the soft overhang of your stomach, loved the way your thick thighs wrapped around him and how warm your body always was. He loved every inch of you but he'd be seeing you from a different angle and you were rather nervous about it.

You knew it was silly to be so self-conscious about it, the man had seen every unflattering angle of you and you were just worried about it. You were heavy and you worried that you would end up hurting him or something. You were worried about stupid stuff like how would you sit, how would you move, what if you did it wrong? It was stupid but the thought of it made you spiral.

"Hey," Hopper said, nudging your neck with his nose, "where are you?" Of course he knew that something was off, he knew you were distracted, "Talk to me."

"I-It's silly," you said shaking your head, "keep going."

Jim's lips continued, kissing and sucking on your neck but a few seconds later he stopped and pulled back completely, "Alright," he said, clearing his throat, "talk to me."

So you told him.

"I... I want to please you, I do. I want to try new things with you but I'm a bit... I'm worried that I'll hurt you or be too heavy or you'll see me at an unflattering angle."

Jim wanted to laugh but he knew how serious you were by the way you refused to meet his gaze and the way you fidgeted with your sleeves, "Sweetheart, c'mere," he beckoned you into his warm arms. You moved into his embrace, welcoming the comfort of his arms, "You shouldn't force yourself to do something because I want it especially when it comes to sex. You don't wanna go on top, no big deal, you don't have to. Doesn't matter. I just want you to be comfortable." You sniffed and listened as he continued, "You won't be too heavy, I'm strong and I can handle your weight. Hell, I like feeling all of you on me, it's sexy-"

"It is?!"

"God yes," Hopper groaned, pressing a kiss to your forehead, "you're so damn sexy and I would love to see your body from that angle, I wanna feel the weight of you, I want to see you ride my cock for your pleasure..." You couldn't deny that the most he spoke, the more into it you got, "Sorry, I'm getting myself all hot and bothered again. We don't have to do-"

"I want to," you said quickly, "god, I really want to."

"But what about-"

You cut him off again, "I just might need you to talk me through it?" You suggested, "A lot of praise... A lot of compliments... Just talk me through it."

"Can do, sweetheart," Hopper grinned before kissing you hard. His hands were on your hips and the more he kissed you, the more your worries faded away. Jim loved you. You were hot. You'd barely started kissing and already his cock was rock hard against your thigh as he pulled you to straddle him.

"Off," Hopper murmured against your lips as he pulled at your underwear. You rolled off of him, shimmying out of your underwear as he shoved his trousers and boxers down, letting his hard cock spring out of them. He took your hands as you positioned yourself over him, "You sure?" He asked.

Your worries weren't there anymore and you slid down on his cock, letting it stretch and fill you. Jim gasped, head rolling back as he cursed. You took the opportunity to pull your t-shirt and bra off and when he looked back up at you, he groaned loudly, "Fucking hell," he whispered, "I could cum right here just staring at you."

You smirked as your hips began to rock back and forth. It felt different having sex this way but god, it was good. You loved the way he was watching your body, eyes roaming over your chest to your stomach and back up to your face, "Like what you see?" You asked in a hushed, breathy voice.

Hopper could see your confidence, could feel the way you rocked harder, arching your back to moan, "God, you're so perfect," he moaned out, hands reaching our to palm at your breasts, "so fucking beautiful."

Jim's fingers pinched your nipples, catching you by surprise, causing you to moan loudly, as your hips grinded on his throbbing cock, "You're doing so good," he panted, "feel so fucking good." He grabbed your ass, squeezing the plumpness of it hard, and he began to rock you up and down, helping you by thrusting his own hips upwards. Your moans were louder and louder. He couldn't stop staring at you, seeing you like this, on top and just riding his cock to get the most pleasure you could... fuck, it was hot.

You could feel that familiar feeling like a coil being wound up, tightening and tightening. Your hands shot up to your breasts, tweaking and pinching your nipples as your head tilted to the ceiling as your moans grew louder and breathier. One of Jim's hands snaked up your curves of your torso to wrap around your neck, squeezing gently, as his other hand was still helping you to bounce up and down on his cock, "You gonna cum for me, baby?" He grunted out, "You gonna cum on my cock?" You moaned at his voice. You were getting quicker and quicker until all at once, your body stiffened and convulsed, walls tightening around Jim's cock, "That's a good girl," he purred, "what a good girl." He didn't stop, he kept thrusting pushing his full length into you as you reached your high. You were so fucking perfect and the feeling of you tight around him and the way you looked sent Jim over the edge as well. His thrusts grew sloppy as his chest heaved.

"Cum for me," you mewled softly as you came down from your high as you continued to rock on his cock. "cum deep inside me. Cum for me-"

"Fuck!" He hissed out, pushing your hips down to press down on his cock as he exploded inside of you.

Panting and sweaty, the two of you stayed in that position for a few minutes until Jim opened his eyes and looked at you, "You're a fucking Goddess," he breathed out, taking you all in again, "fucking stunning." He helped you to climb off of him and pulled you down to lay beside him.

"You liked it?" You asked him softly.

He kissed your forehead, "Babygirl, I was being serious when I said I could've came immediately at seeing you like that. You're just fucking gorgeous... You have nothing to feel self-conscious over ever because my god, (y/n), you're so perfect. I love your curves, I love your stomach and thighs... You're so beautiful... Did you enjoy it?"

You nodded quickly, "I felt really confident. I liked the way that you were looking at me. You made me feel so sexy... You felt so good as well, different than usual but so good."

"You'd want to do it again?"

You grinned, "Yeah," you said, leaning into kiss him, "I'd love to."

Jim's cock twitched, usually it took him a few hours to be ready for a second round, but there was something about this new position and your newfound confidence, "Ready for round two?"

#jim hopper smut #jim hopper x reader #jim hopper #jim hopper imagine #jim hopper x you #jim hopper one shot #one shot #os #stranger things imagine #stranger things

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ackermonie · 2 years

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hiding away

request by @luna0713hunter : If…its not too much, may i request a gojo x female reader, where reader is dealing with some huge matters in her life and keeps on a strong face but one day when she's alone she breaks down and gojo finds her? something hurt/comfort,soft and sweet?

(The reader is one year younger than "toru and is a grade one sorcerer.)

Im sorry for the trouble,but im facing some major problems rn and i could use some comfort?

a/n: i hope im not too late, and i hope you’re doing better!! i’m actually going through a rough patch myself so writing this was comforting, so i hope it does the same for you!! i hope i did your request justice<3

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••

you’re strong. everyone knows so, you’ve proved so many, many times before, so it wasn’t unusual for the people around you to watch you maintain your position and keep a straight face when they know well just how much you’re enduring.

they must’ve either gotten used to it, or just plain got tired of trying to ask you if you need to talk or let something out, and you’re fine with that. in fact, that’s the whole damn point.

pressure eventually suffocates you more. you see your work eventually go south despite your constant attempts, and the higher ups only have you to blame.

and as much of a grade 1 sorcerer, you’re still human.

this was a test for your new breaking point. you were waiting, feeling the weight on your chest get heavier until you eventually have to explode, and you were oh so glad it happened when you were alone.

or thought you were alone, at least.

but it was dawn. you just received a couple of videos of a curse scene, blood everywhere, and the taunting, fresh crimson paints your failure in the cement.

you’re sat on your awfully empty bed, not bothering to reach for gojo’s side because you know you’ll be landing on nothing.

he’s been away for almost a week, held up somewhere in another continent, ripping you away from the only source of comfort you have.

you lock your phone, dropping it somewhere to your right, and your hands climb up to your face. you try your best to keep it in, to convince yourself that no, this can’t be where you break, but your brain spirals out of control.

and you can’t take it anymore. you just can’t. your body physically grows more shaky the more you keep your emotions locked in. you hide your face away from the emptiness around you, feeling the glass finally begin to crack, then it shatters all together.

once the first sob is out of your mouth, you can’t stop what follows. you bend down, silent tears involuntarily escaping past very heavy eyelids.

you think you’re finally at the point of hallucination when you feel the bed dip from your right. it wasn’t long after that a hand lands on your back while another tries to sit you up properly, and you, realizing that this touch is too vivid and familiar to be imagined, attempt to turn your face away.

“no, baby,” you hear him say. “don’t hide from me.”

you shake your head, a sad whimper accidentally escaping your throat, and you try to push away from him.

he can’t see you like this. you can’t be like this.

“it’s just me,” he holds your hands down skillfully and moves you further towards him. “it’s only me, sweets. don’t hide from me.”

“i-i can’t!”

he tries to pull your face towards him, and you notice that his blindfold is off. you can’t help but gravitate towards the free sea within, helplessly letting him look deep within your soul as he asks.

“can’t what?” a thumb swipes at a soaked cheek. “talk to me.”

“i can’t…” you trail off, head shaking frantically as if to shake the emotions away. “i can’t do this anymore!”

“i know,” he nods, and your fingers wrinkle the material of his shirt. “keep talking.”

“i keep fuh-fucking trying, satoru,” you hiccup, eyes frantic, wide, exploding. “i keep trying over and over and fucking over again and it’s always fruitless. i end up getting blamed. i always end up-“

you stare at him, sadness and disappointment consuming you to the core as you spell the next words out loud.

you attempt a mocking shrug. “i always end up a failure.”

satoru’s lips turn downwards in some unexplainable emotion. “we both know this isn’t true.”

you shake your head, weak limbs once more attempting to pull away from the strongest arms, but they don’t budge.

“don’t turn away from me,” he says, but the softness of his voice makes more tears pool out of your tired eyes. “let yourself cry, y/n. at least allow yourself this.”

“i-i can’t, ‘toru,” you whimper. “i can’t just—“

“you can. you already are, and i’m right here. you can be as vulnerable as you want to be.” he nods when your features break once more, one heavy, massive sob breaking out of your chest. “i’ll always find you when you need me.”

he pulls your hands together at his nape, hands trailing from their and down to your waist where he pulls you on his lap, and that was your cue to loose the remaining of your composure.

he leans his back against the headrest. a hand is massaging your scalp while the other rubs up and down your back, and you let yourself cry in your lover’s arms.

“always, baby. always.”

#ackermonie writes #gojo satoru #jujutsu kaisen #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #jjk drabbles #jjk x reader #gojo satoru x gender neutral reader #gojo angst #gojo hurt/comfort #hurt/comfort #jjk imagines #jjk fanfic #gojo imagines #gojo drabbles #jjk #gojo fluff #jjk fluff

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arkabacon · 10 months

Text

// Louder Than Thoughts.

|| Blade x gn! Reader || || It was painful to breathe. Let alone think. || || 1k words || sfw !! || hurt/comfort, reader is a mess, implied relationship, not proofread, self indulgent || || note/s: the weather was perfect for this. I also wrote this with a wrecked mood due to reading an angsty fic so really I’m writing this to comfort myself. ||

It was one of those nights.

You could not control a single portion of your emotional state. You felt like crying, screaming, ripping yourself apart. It would pass, you knew that. This always happens. But whenever you’re in the middle of it, all you could think about is-

…

The loud thunder disrupts your train of thought for a few moments, your form slumping back down again immediately afterwards. The feeling in your chest did not leave. Was it pain? Sorrow? Anger? Emptiness? You did not know. All you knew is that it was suffocating. It clawed at every part of your being, but especially the deepest depths of your body. It was like a growing curse that situated itself in the core of what is supposedly described to be you. It was a pang of guilt, even, growing with every unspeakable thought crossing your mind.

You begged for it to stop. A portion of you said you deserved more.

Your mind was turbulent as the weather, and this sole fact dampened your mood further. It almost urged for your state to grow even worse than it is now. You held back tears, a choking sensation forming in your throat the longer your persisted. You pulled your knees to your chest, hugging them as you buried your face into your arms. You sought out for some sort of warmth, but only the cold of the night embraced you.

At that point you couldn’t hold it in anymore. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t help but cry. You cried and cried, the loud rain drowning out your soft sobs and the occasional sniffle. For the nth time did you beg for it to stop, whether it be the overwhelming emotions in your chest, or the physical pain that came from it.

The rain was too loud. But your thoughts were louder.

You didn’t even notice how intensely Blade was staring at your slumped form. How your head rested against the sliding doors that led to the back of your residence. The bellowing wind kept entering, and he’d notice how you’d shiver each time it grew in intensity.

Just what the hell were you doing out here? He thought.

It took him a while to even step towards you. Was he supposed to? He couldn’t hear your cries, and it was certain that he could not hear the things that ran through your head. But after knowing you for so long, he knew that something was amiss. Because on a regular day, even with such weather you’d react openly towards it. You’d point it out to him, maybe even connecting it with some distant memory you had previously forgotten. But here, you kept to yourself, hiding away the expression of your face. Secretive, he’d think, but it was a secret he didn’t want you to keep.

Or at least, a secret he didn’t want you to suffer alone with.

To him, his steps felt heavy. It took him much effort to crouch by your side, a hand hovering by your shoulder. He examined you further, and his hesitation grew. His brows furrowed upon seeing how your form would slightly jolt up now and again, a gasp for air to fill your lungs. He wouldn’t dare make your mood worse, for he knew that when you were vulnerable- one wrong move and it could send you spiraling further. Did you need him, or did you need time? He pondered, his stare so intense he could’ve sworn you’d felt it by now.

But maybe you were just that far gone, and you needed him to bring you back.

Warmth seeped into your clothes and onto your skin, his hand finally placed on your shoulder. He did not speak, but that alone gave you a tinge of comfort- yet it brought back the exact opposite of what it was supposed to bring you. You felt guilty, dreadful for even making him so worried that he personally had to come and calm you down. The man barely rested his mind and soul, yet here he was, trying to comfort you. You internally cursed at yourself for being so incompetent. So useless. Unable to do anything on your own. Why did the eternally wounded have to look after one who’s mood was swayed by the wind? You bit the insides of your mouth, wanting to cry louder.

“Look at me.”

You couldn’t lift your head.

“Listen to me.”

You could barely hear him.

A sigh left him. Not out of annoyance, but of mild concern. But to you, it sounded that he was irritated. Irritated that you didn’t comply, and that what you were doing was irrational, stupid. It never was that way but…your mind deceives. And it continued to do that. You buried your head further into your arms, tilting you head away from the presence of the swordsman. You didn’t dare look at him. You couldn’t bare to meet his eyes, not when you felt this way.

He stared. His mind was racking itself for answers, for things to do to help you. His hand left your shoulder, the lingering warmth fading into nothingness. Your body grew colder, even, at the loss of his touch. You thought he upped and left. But you were wrong.

His arm ducked beneath your knees, another behind your back as he lifted you gently, effortlessly. His sudden movements startled you greatly, a yelp almost leaving your lips. Yet you said nothing, the feeling that was plaguing you keeping your silence.

In that one swift movement, you were now perched atop his lap, his hand that was previously under your legs now by your head. You found solace in his touch, warmth melting away at what used to fill the contents of your mind. It was like a miracle. He was a miracle.

He carefully urged for you to rest against his chest, your ear right above his heart. Somehow, such soft rhythmic sound slowly eased the torment in your mind and soul.

The rain was loud. Your thoughts were louder, but the beating of his heart was loudest of all.

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail fanfic #hsr x y/n #hsr blade #blade x reader #writerzine

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stardustshelb · 9 months

Text

"If It Kills Me" - Jake One Shot

TW: Language. Your name (female) + Jake. 6,339 words.

The song "If It Kills Me" by Jason Mraz inspired me to write this story; each part of the story is inspired by a different part of the song.

Part One

"It would be such a beautiful moment to see the look on your face,

To know that I know that you know now.

And baby that's a case of my wishful thinking.

You know nothing." - JM

You’re sending me one-worded texts. You’re probably busy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself because why else would you be responding like you’re mad at me? I haven’t done anything to make you angry. If you knew I was spiraling and overthinking like this, you’d probably throw in an emoji, a gif, something to ease my mind. I decided to stop dwelling on the “ok” and “lol” replies and put my phone away. I’m clearly distracted and the last thing I need is Danny getting angry if I throw the tempo off again.

“Let’s run through that one more time,” Josh said into the microphone. I normally am the serious one who takes control of our practices, but I wasn’t feeling it today. We were going on four hours of rehearsal for our upcoming tour. I was exhausted because I stayed up too late, but that’s the sacrifice you make when the love of your life lives in a different time zone. I listened to Danny count us in, “One, two, three, four,” and began playing my guitar. I tried to focus on the music but thoughts of you kept creeping in.

When rehearsal finally ended, I checked my phone hoping to see your name on my screen. Nope. You left me on read. Thousands of notifications plague my screen but the one notification I was looking for was nonexistent. I started replaying the last parts of our conversation last night; if you were mad at me for something I said, I truly couldn’t remember. I put my phone in my back pocket and finished packing my stuff up for the day. We had to be back bright and early tomorrow, so thankfully I didn’t have to pack up all of my pedals and amps.

“What are you doing tonight?” Sam asked as he held out a ruby grapefruit White Claw to me.

“It’s barely 2:00 in the afternoon, man,” I said as I waved his offer away. “Uh, I’m probably going to take it easy tonight and stay in.”

“That’s what you did last night,” Sam said as he shifted his weight to his other foot. He was clearly bummed that I wasn’t up for hanging out.

“Yeah, well, I’m trying to savor my nights at home before I spend them all on the road,” I said with a shrug. I loved touring and playing music more than anything, but I also loved sleeping in my own bed. I just wished you were here to share it with me.

“If you change your mind, call me,” he said as he placed the unopened White Claw down near my boot. He walked away before I could respond. I stared at the can and then grabbed it before walking out to the parking lot.

When I got home, I took a quick shower and laid on the couch scrolling through the pictures in my camera roll. Our social media team has made several remarks lately that my Instagram was too “dry” and our fans were begging for more content from me. I never really pay much attention to the demands of keeping up an online presence on social media. I scrolled back to March of this year and smiled as I looked at the pictures from our quick trip to the beach. It was the last time we were able to spend time together as just the two of us. We spent four days secluded from the outside world in a condo in Santa Barbara. It was the highlight of my year. I found a picture you took of me when I was staring out into the sunset. My jeans were rolled up to my shins to keep from getting wet as the waves rolled in. I remember the water was so cold I thought my toes were going to turn black. You don’t smoke anymore, but you took a hit (or two) on the joint hanging out of my mouth. I didn’t know you took the picture of me at the time, but I’m thankful you did. If only you knew that at that moment I was cursing the sun for leaving and robbing us of another day together.

The night passed by quickly. I still hadn’t heard from you and I was trying not to worry. It wasn’t like we were always in constant contact with our busy work schedules, but you should have texted me by now. I was fighting my eyelids to stay awake. I knew you had been working night shifts at the hospital recently, but I knew you were off. Our three-hour time difference really made things difficult for my sleep schedule. While it was almost 2 a.m. for me, I knew you would be awake and scrolling through your plethora of social media apps before getting ready for bed.

I had an idea that normally worked when I needed a desperate way to grab your attention. I opened my Instagram app for the first time in weeks and hit the plus sign to make a post. I scrolled back to the picture you took of me on the beach and typed the caption, “The fleeting daylight gave me liberation though I longed for staying a captive on the sand.” I hit send and waited for the trap I set to work. I knew you had my Instagram notifications turned on.

I chuckled as I read the comments from fans who always posted the most unhinged shit. Even though my motive was to get a response from you, I still enjoyed reading the interesting comments. And as if I knew you better than you knew yourself, I suddenly was on the receiving end of your FaceTime call.

“Hey,” I said as I propped the phone up on the pillow next to me. I fought the urge to display a smug smile.

“You have a typo in your Instagram caption,” you said. You had a toothbrush hanging out the side of your mouth and your hair was wrapped up in a towel.

“Do I?” I asked, playing dumb. Any time I needed a response from you, posting a typo on social media worked 9 times out of 10. Josh just thinks I’m an idiot at this point.

“It doesn’t even make sense,” you said as you leaned down to spit off camera.

“Fine, I’ll fix it,” I said as I reopened the app to make an edit to the caption.

“You could have at least given me photographer credits,” you said. I fixed the typo and opened your FaceTime back so I could see your beautiful face full screen. You weren’t paying me any attention as you were doing your nighttime skincare routine. I didn’t care because I was still able to admire you.

“You and I both know the insanity that would ensue if I tagged you in anything,” I said with a sigh.

“That’s true,” you said.

“I miss the beach,” I said but fought to replace beach with the word you. Though, you would have seen it all over my face if you were looking at me.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t talk much today,” you said.

“I was beginning to think you were mad at me,” I admitted.

“Why would I be mad at you?” you asked as you suddenly stopped rubbing moisturizer into your skin. You stopped looking at yourself in the mirror and stared at your phone–stared at me. I tried to remember what I was saying.

“I–uh–well, you know, you didn’t respond for hours, and uh, when you did, it was um–” I knew I was tripping over my words. I felt my face getting warm because I was flustered.

“I’m not mad at you, Jake. At least not at the moment,” you said with a wink.

“You know I get into my head sometimes,” I said as I smoothed my hair back.

“Better than anyone. Ok, well, I wanted to pop on real quick to tell you good night,” you said. I could tell you were about to wrap up the call. I hated saying goodbye but I needed to sleep too.

“Good night, y/n” I said as I watched you finish drying your hair.

“Good night, Jake,” you said before hanging up.

“I love you,” remained silently on my lips.

Part Two

"Well you and I,

Why, we go carrying on for hours on end.

We get along much better,

Than you and your boyfriend." - JM

“You look like shit,” Josh said. Once again, another sleepless night robbed me of any rest and relaxation before another full morning of rehearsal. Thoughts of you mixed with anticipation for the new tour had my mind racing.

“Yeah, well, we’re twins,” I said as I stirred my coffee. “So, I guess you look like shit too.” I was fighting the urge to add a little whiskey to it if this was how practice was going to go.

“This is the last practice of the week, so let’s not fuck around and waste any time today,” he added.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I questioned. I didn’t like what he was implying.

“It means get your head out of your ass and finish your coffee so we can get started,” he said. I could sense Josh was angry about something, but there was no telling with him. The smallest inconvenience could set him off. I bit my tongue and let him have his moment of misdirected anger. I finished my cup of coffee and started to plug in my guitar.

“Yesterday we stopped after ‘Frozen Light’ so let’s move on through the rest of the set list,” I said.

“Well, then you’re plugging in the wrong guitar,” Josh said. Confused, I glanced at the taped setlist on my side of the stage and realized our B stage performance was next.

“Oh, yeah,” I said.

“You would know that if you paid any attention yesterday,” Josh said under his breath.

“What the fuck is your problem this morning?” I asked.

“Guys,” Sam said as he stepped in to diffuse the situation. That’s what the three of us did. Whoever was the one outside of the conflict always stepped in to help calm the other two down. But truth be told, it was normally Sam who worked as the middle man. “I’m not acting as the rope for your game of tug-of-war today.” My heart strings pulled a little for my younger brother as I threw my cup of coffee in the trash.

Rehearsal went by a lot quicker today than it did yesterday. I’m sure it was because anger fueled me not to waste a single moment of time so I didn’t have to be here any longer than I had to be. I was looking forward to a couple days off. I wondered if I could make a quick trip to California to see you this weekend.

“Hey,” I heard Josh’s voice from behind me. I continued to pack up my stuff instead of turning around to face him.

“I’m sorry, Jake,” he said. I stopped messing with my cords and sighed before turning around.

“It’s ok,” I said when I met his eyes.

“I’m stressed about the tour and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you,” he said. Any ounce of anger I had instantly evaporated. I could tell he needed a hug so I pulled him in. Normally he was the one to initiate physical contact, but I knew what he needed.

“Are you sticking around here for the weekend?” I asked as I let go of our embrace.

“I’m not sure. What about you?” Josh responded.

“I may explore the west coast for a couple days,” I said, rubbing my chin.

“Jake…” Josh’s voice sounded like a warning.

“What?” I asked. He sighed and shook his head, clearly not saying what he wanted to say.

“Tell y/n I said hi,” he said.

“I never said I was going to see her,” I said.

“You didn’t have to,” he added.

“It’s not a good weekend,” you said. Your words immediately broke my heart and I struggled to hold the phone in my hand. I called to see if I could come stay and visit because I hadn’t seen you in nearly three months.

“I thought you said you were off most of this week,” I said, trying to mask the sadness in my voice.

“I am,” you said.

“So why can’t I come? I miss the beach. I miss you,” the words escaped my mouth before I realized it.

“I have plans this weekend,” you said. I could tell you didn’t want to volunteer any more information and that I was going to have to ask to get any details.

“One day on the beach with me is all I ask,” I practically begged.

“Nathan and I are going out of town,” you said. There it was. The reason you were being so short and vague. You knew how I felt about him; I just wish you knew how I felt about you.

“He’s still around?” I asked.

“Jake, I’m not having this conversation again,” you said. I could hear the frustration in your voice.

“Where are you guys going?” I asked. I really didn’t want to know any details because I didn’t want to think about Nathan any more than I had to. I was struggling to play nice.

“He’s taking me to his parents’ house in Malibu,” you said. I felt my chest tighten.

“You’re meeting his parents?” I asked.

“Yes, Jake. Is that ok with you?” you asked sarcastically.

“You know you don’t need my permission for anything. I can’t say the same for Nathan,” I added. I tasted the bitterness of my insult. You didn’t immediately respond so I knew my words made an impact. I then heard you speaking but I couldn’t tell what you were saying. The sound was muffled as if your hand was covering the phone.

“Hello?” I asked. I continued listening to the muffled conversation and realized he was currently there with you. I couldn’t make out what you two were saying but I was growing more and more frustrated by the second. “Y/n?” I asked again, hoping for a response, but I continued to sit on the metaphorical back burner.

“Sorry about that,” you said. “Hey, I’ve got to finish packing but I will call you tomorrow.”

“Sure, of course. I will talk to you tomorrow,” I said as you ended the call.

I made myself a drink and debated calling one of the guys to come over and hangout. It was only 8:00 p.m. but I felt the exhaustion from the last two days taking its toll on me. Well, the tequila in my drink probably didn’t help. I figured I should take advantage of some extra hours of sleep. I polished off my glass and slowly shuffled to my bedroom. I put my phone on the charger and collapsed into my bed. For once, I didn’t have to lie awake as I slowly sunk into the pillow.

Part Three

"How long, can I go on like this,

Wishing to kiss you

Before I rightly explode?

Well this double life I lead isn't healthy for me.

In fact, it makes me nervous.

If I get caught, I could be risking it all." - JM

I didn’t realize that I slept for over 14 hours when I rolled over to check the time on my phone. Both my body and my mind really needed to rest. I scrolled through the notifications on my screen with tired eyes until I spotted two missed calls from you. As if you were a shot of espresso, I was immediately awake. You didn’t leave me a voicemail but you had called me at what would be 1 a.m. your time. I sat up straight and nervously called you back.

“Hello?” you answered on the first ring. Your voice sounded strange.

“Hey, I’m sorry I missed your calls last night. What’s going on?” I asked.

“If you’re still wanting to come to California, I’m free,” you said.

“I’ll be on the next flight,” I said as I hurried to get out of bed.

“Thanks, Jake,” you said. I could tell you were on the verge of tears, so I decided not to press for any details yet. We could talk it out once I got there.

I landed in Santa Barbara just after 7 p.m. and headed through the small California airport. It was surprisingly easy finding a last-minute flight, but it wasn’t easy getting through the airport. Even today, I am still taken aback by the attention I receive from fans. I texted you to find out where to meet you and made my way down the escalator. I was only staying for two nights so I threw everything I needed into my backpack. I can travel light. I waited outside and kept my head down until I saw your car rolling up. To my surprise, Nathan was in the passenger seat. I felt sick. You immediately jumped out of the car and ran straight to me. I wanted to pick you up and spin you around, but I knew that would not make a great first impression with your boyfriend.

“I’m so happy to see you!” you squealed as I lingered in your welcoming embrace. Everything I had planned to say to you was no longer relevant now that he was here.

“I’m happy to be here,” I said as you finally let go. I could feel Nathan staring at us but I kept my eyes locked on your beautiful face. Your naturally long eyelashes fluttered and I swore I stopped breathing.

“Are you hungry?” you asked.

“Famished, actually,” I said, realizing all I’ve eaten today were the free snacks the airline gives you.

“Good because I made lasagna,” you said as you stood on your tiptoes.

“Did you follow your famous recipe?” I asked.

“From a box?” you asked with a laugh.

“Shh, we pretend, remember?” I asked. Before you could respond, we both jumped at the sound of your car horn. Nathan’s impatience seemed to get the best of him. I grinded my teeth before taking a deep breath. So much for first impressions.

“Come on,” you said as you rolled your eyes and laughed. I relaxed my fingers, which I didn’t realize were balled up into a fist, before following you to your car. I slid into the backseat and channeled my inner Josh so I could act like I was excited about meeting Nathan.

“Hey, man. I’m Jake,” I said, sticking my arm out to shake his hand. He turned around and looked at me like I was covered in dirt.

“Hello, Jake,” he said, finally grabbing my hand unenthusiastically. “I’m Dr. Turner.” Give me a break. You got into the car and smiled when you saw us shaking hands.

“Oh good, I didn’t have to do the introductions,” you said with a wink.

I learned your weekend trip to Malibu was canceled when Nathan–or Dr. Turner–found out he needed to be on call at the hospital last minute. I could tell you were disappointed, but I’m not sure if that was the reason you sounded like you were crying on the phone this morning. I made a mental note to ask you about it when we had some privacy. I knew Nathan was staying for dinner but I was praying to whatever God who was listening that he wouldn’t be staying the night as well. I needed alone time with you.

When we got back to your place, I made my way to your guest room to put my backpack up. I checked in with the guys to let them know I had made it safely to your place. I guess news of me being in California was all over Twitter and Instagram because our social media manager sent me screenshots of some pictures I took with fans in the airport. I knew we’d have to lay low now that I was here to keep your identity hidden. The last thing you or I needed were pictures of us circulating online with rumors. I started to make my way out of the bedroom when I stopped in the doorway. I could hear you and Nathan having what sounded like an argument, and I didn’t want to interrupt. I leaned in closer to the hallway to eavesdrop.

“He can’t get a hotel room?” Nathan asked.

“I’m not making my best friend stay in a hotel,” you said as you closed the oven door.

“He can afford it,” he said with a scoff.

“I don’t concern myself with other people’s finances, Nathan. You know that. People could say the same thing about me dating a doctor,” you said. I rolled my eyes.

“I just don’t like the idea of another guy staying the night with you,” he said.

“He’s not staying with me. He’s sleeping in another room. Plus I’ve known Jake almost my entire life. It wouldn’t be the first time we’ve slept under the same roof,” you said.

“I would feel more comfortable if I were here too,” he said. I felt my blood start to boil.

“Please trust me, Nathan. I’ve never given you a reason not to,” you said. I couldn’t handle listening any longer so I made my way out of the hallway and walked into the kitchen. When you saw me, you pulled away from Nathan. I’m not sure if you noticed–but both he and I did. I’m sure that unconscious movement only fueled his insecurities even more.

Dinner went better than one would expect. It appears everyone–including myself–is a great actor. One would have never guessed Nathan didn’t want me there with the way he was asking me questions about my life with the band. If I didn’t know half of what I already knew about him, I’d think he was a pretty good guy. You beamed watching the two of us converse. I gazed at your full lips across the table as they broke into a smile. I wanted nothing more than to kiss them.

“Nothing like a home-cooked meal,” you said with a laugh. I gave you a soft smile.

“Stouffer’s is a specialty with this one,” Nathan said, pulling you into a side hug. “I’m hoping she’ll learn her way around a kitchen eventually.”

“I will take anything that’s not fast food at this point,” I said. I stared at the glass mason jar of strawberry lemonade you so kindly made AKA mixed Crystal Light with water. I knew you had a busy schedule at the hospital and worked so hard as a nurse. And I knew you had to fend a lot for yourself growing up. I was just proud that you made a life for yourself and lived unapologetically. I didn’t care that you never took an interest in cooking. You never tried to be anyone but yourself and I loved that about you.

“Well, it would be nice to have something that wasn’t full of preservatives every once in a while,” Nathan said with a laugh. I looked up to meet his eyes and if looks could kill, he’d be a goner. You sensed my sudden change in mood and laughed at his joke–a laugh that you and I both knew was fake and forced.

“I’m a great cook, actually. What about you Nathan?” I said.

“A man’s place doesn’t belong in the kitchen. Plus, I’m too busy with surgeries and–” he was saying.

“The 1900s called. They want their sexist views back,” I joked. You let out a wild laugh, one that was so not fake. I watched Nathan squirm in his seat before forcing a smile. Before he could respond, the ringing of his work phone distracted us.

“Great,” he muttered before excusing himself from the table. When he was out of the room, you and I locked eyes and you started that wild laugh again.

“Jacob Thomas Kiszka, you are horrible,” you said. I loved when you used my full name.

“What kind of backwards ideology is that?” I asked. I wasn’t joking anymore.

“He was raised differently,” you said, smoothing the napkin in your lap.

“Does he call his mom Mother? Be honest,” I said, biting my lip to keep from laughing.

“Jake…” you said.

“Holy shit, he does!” I exclaimed. We both were laughing hysterically when Nathan came back into the room.

“What’s so funny?” he asked.

“Jake just told me a funny story,” you said nervously.

“I like to laugh,” Nathan said as he joined us at the table.

“Do you have to leave, darling?” you asked. I could taste the bile in my throat after hearing you call him that.

“Yeah, here in a second. I want to hear this hilarious story first,” he said as he met my stare.

“It’s really an inside joke. You wouldn’t–” you started.

“I’m waiting,” Nathan said, not breaking my eye contact. Just then, I fantasized about stabbing him in the neck with the fork in my hand.

“I was telling y/n the story about how Josh–that’s my brother–sometimes acts in his diva persona,” I was trying to come up with something on the fly. I’m sure anyone with a brain would know I was lying, but I kept going. “And when he’s this super bitch–his words–he makes life hell for us all.”

“And that’s…funny?” Nathan asked.

“If you knew him, yes,” I said.

“Right. Well, I’ve been called in for surgery. Another with cirrhosis of the liver. They’re a dime a dozen nowadays,” Nathan said. It was hard to believe he was talking about another human life. I wouldn’t want someone who didn’t see value in another person’s soul operating on me. He wouldn’t give a shit if I lived or died. I’d be just another body on the operating table to him. “That’s why I’ve encouraged y/n to stop drinking. Nasty stuff. Jake, you should consider it too.”

“Thanks for the medical advice, doc,” I said.

“I’m serious. Alcohol is poison. But then again, so are all of the preservatives we consume in our instant lemonades and frozen lasagnas, so what the hell do I know?” he laughed. Nobody laughed along with him this time.

“I’ll walk you out,” you said as you pushed yourself away from the table. I wasn’t sure if you were needing a break from yet another one of his passive aggressive insults, or if you were trying to get him away from me before I did something that would put me behind bars for the rest of my life.

Part Four

"If I should be so bold,

I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hand.

I'd tell you from the start how I longed to be your man.

But I never said a word,

I guess I'm gonna miss my chance again." - JM

We spent the rest of the evening sitting on your couch and catching up. We talked every day but having this time with you in person felt completely different. You wanted to know everything about our new tour and I could feel the excitement radiating off of you.

“Will you be there opening night?” I asked.

“You know I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” you said. “I have a confession.”

“Oh?” I asked as I moved closer to you.

“I have a bottle of tequila stashed in the cabinet above the refrigerator,” you whispered.

“You know how I feel about alcohol, and don’t even get me started on preservatives,” I said sarcastically. You threw a pillow at me before jumping up to grab it. I watched you climb on top of your kitchen counter to be able to reach your hidden contraband. You jumped down off the counter and ran back to join me on the couch with the forbidden bottle of tequila tucked under your arm.

“If you can guess my favorite song off the new album, I will take a shot. If you get it wrong, you have to take a shot,” you said, holding the bottle out to me.

“So I have a 90% chance of taking a shot,” I said, raising an eyebrow.

“The odds are definitely in my favor,” you said with a laugh. I studied your face for a moment. I wanted to tell you how you were the inspiration for my most favorite song that I’ve ever written. Josh heard it once and knew it belonged on the album. I wanted to explain how my time on the beach with you earlier this year inspired the story behind the song. Every word, every line to the song “Waited All Your Life” was written about you. You were the song. But how could I ever admit that?

“Runway Blues?” I guessed. I knew it wouldn’t be it. And for a moment, I swear a look of disappointment flashed across your face for a brief moment.

“Nope! Take a shot!” you said as you proudly held the bottle to me.

“What was the right answer?” I asked as I unscrewed the lid. I put the bottle to my lips and wondered when it touched yours last.

“‘Waited All Your Life’ is my favorite,” you said with a soft smile. I felt my chest tighten at your admission and took a shot of tequila straight from the bottle.

“Mine too,” I said so quietly I wondered if you even heard me. “Hey, can we go to the beach tomorrow? Just the two of us?”

“Yeah, that sounds perfect,” you said as you grabbed the bottle from me. You took a shot and I envied the bottle that got to kiss your lips.

After talking and laughing for several hours on the couch, you got a text from Nathan that the surgery went well and he was headed home for the night.

“Home as in…?” I asked.

“Home as in his own home. We don’t live together, Jake,” you said as you looked up at me under your lashes.

“I know, I know,” I said as I sighed with relief. You screwed the lid back on the bottle of tequila before climbing back up to stash it away for another time. When you came back into the living room, you stood at the end of the couch and yawned. Unfortunately, I knew what was coming.

“I think we should call it a night,” you said. I didn’t want this night to end. Carpe noctem.

“Yeah, I’m pretty tired,” I lied.

“Don’t set an alarm. Sleep in and we’ll go to the beach whenever we feel like it tomorrow,” you said. I didn’t want to sleep at all. I didn’t want to waste a single moment when I’m here with you.

“Ok, sounds like a plan,” I said as I stood up. I walked closer to you and I watched you suck in a breath.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” you said quietly.

“Me too,” I said as I wrapped my arms around you.

“Good night, Jake,” you said.

“Good night, y/n,” I whispered.

After my shower, I laid on the bed in the guest bedroom and stared at the ceiling fan for what felt like an eternity. Thoughts of you, thoughts of us, thoughts of Nathan, the beach, tequila, and your song clouded my mind. I wanted to get out of bed and knock on your bedroom door. I wanted to admit every thought and feeling I’ve hidden from you for years. I wanted to admit how I’ve kept this secret from you for so long and it kills me nearly every day. I wanted to cry and scream and then cry some more. I wanted to hold you. But I just laid there and stared at the ceiling fan as the blades moved in a perfect rotation. Maybe tomorrow I’d admit these things to you. Maybe when we’re on the beach I’d finally find courage amongst the waves. I closed my eyes and let the hope for tomorrow guide my dreams for tonight.

Part Five

"And all I really want to do is to feel you.

It's a feeling inside that keeps building.

I will find a way to you if it kills me.

If it kills me.

It might kill me." - JM

I helped unload your adirondack chairs from the back of your car when we found a spot on the beach that was secluded from both the locals and the tourists. There was a walk-up bar not too far from us, but still far enough away that we felt like we were the only two people on the beach. I kept my sunglasses on as I faced the ocean, admiring the sunlight reflecting off the water. I watched you apply your sunscreen and waited for you to ask me to help you apply it to your back and neck.

“Do you mind helping?” you asked, turning away from me and moving your hair to the side. I grabbed the bottle and started to rub the lotion on your back. I took my time because I wanted to feel every inch of your soft skin.

“Can I ask you a question?” I asked as I continued rubbing the sunscreen on your shoulders. I finally felt enough courage to ask about the phone call since I couldn’t see your eyes.

“Always,” you said.

“When I talked to you on the phone yesterday morning… You sounded like you were crying,” I quietly admitted. I waited for you to say something but the silence lingered in the air.

“I was,” you said.

“Why?” I asked.

“I don’t really want to talk about it, Jake,” you said as you dropped your head. I stared at the back of your neck waiting for the right words to come to me.

“You know you can talk to me about anything,” I said.

“I know,” you said. I put my hands on your shoulders and pulled for you to turn to face me. When you met my eyes, I could see they were hiding something.

“Y/n, what’s bothering you?” I asked. You sighed as you put your sunglasses on, attempting to camouflage your emotions.

“Nathan and I got into an argument that night and I called you in the heat of the moment. But we worked it out by the time you called me back the next morning. I was still upset and just needed to see my best friend,” you said as you reached out to squeeze my hand. “I miss you so much.”

“Loving a music man ain’t always what it’s supposed to be,” I sang a line from one of your favorite Journey songs as I let your hand stay in mine. I knew what I had to do to make you smile.

“Oh, girl, you stand by me,” you sang playfully. You loved when I sang, especially when it was a song off of your comfort playlist.

“I’m forever yours,” I sang back to you, meaning every word I said.

“Faithfully,” you sang as you let go of my hand. I wanted the lyrics to be true for you like they were for me. You laid your head back on your chair and basked in the sunlight.

“Y/n?” I asked.

“Mhm?” you replied, still sunbathing.

“I–” I began, but stopped speaking when your phone started ringing.

“Sorry, this is work,” you said as you fished your phone out of your tote bag. I watched your face turn to disappointment behind the sunglasses. “Hello?” you said as you answered. You got up and walked away to take the phone call. I turned my attention away from you and looked out toward the waves. I knew our time together was ending quicker than I wanted it to. I was supposed to fly back home first thing tomorrow morning, and we were supposed to spend the entire day together on the beach, but my gut told me those plans were about to change. Being a musician, I was no stranger to abrupt changes and I quickly learned how to adapt to the unexpected. Nothing in my life ever goes according to plan anymore. I glanced your direction and watched you pace back and forth, still talking to whoever it was on the phone. I turned back toward the water and savored what I knew would be my final moments here on the beach. Another chance I would never take washed away on the shore line. I wiped the tear that escaped my eye as you walked back toward your empty chair. You didn’t have to say it; I knew.

“I am so sorry, Jake,” you began.

“Do we need to go?” I asked.

“Yes,” you said with a sigh. Without another word, I stood up and helped grab the chairs to make our way back to your car.

“Please feel free to stay in my house until I get back. I only have to go in for a few hours to help locate and fix some medical charts that got mishandled. I don’t have to work a full shift tonight,” you said.

“Sure, of course,” I lied. I’d be searching for the next flight out of California the second you walked out the door. I knew you would be upset that I planned to leave without a proper goodbye, but I left what I needed to say out on the beach. The waves carried my broken heart back to the ocean. My unspoken words would forever remain buried in the sand.

Eventually, I would find my way back there when you were ready to hear them.

It wasn’t our time, yet. And it kills me that maybe it never will be.

The End

#greta van fic #greta van fleet #jake kiszka #jake gvf #sad thoughts #sad stories #if it kills me #jason mraz #jacob thomas kiszka

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digitalfootprinthider · 4 months

Text

Best friends, right?

Levi Ackerman x reader (not really that romantic but the intent was there lmao)

+ no pronouns for reader

after fighting side by side with Levi for so long you finally develop a small connection

i literally never wrote anything before thisss nfhjsckladc I more than appreciate if you read this and give me your thoughts :) and sorry for spelling errors- English is not my first language

An expedition always came with massive losses. This one was no exception, but personal deaths were always horrifying. I was, along with every squad captain no stranger to those ether. Seeing someone losing their entire team is horrible. The survivors guilt, the what ifs and the spiraling.

But as a captain i know its our responsibility to be strong and caring towards our squad- or what’s remained of them. they all died. I want to convince myself that they died fast and didn’t feel that much pain, or they died for a good course, but right now they all feel like lies. Telling their families is always the hardest thing i have to do.

‘Stop. You can do this hysteria later,’ I mumble to myself as i force my head away from my dead cadet and slap myself to take control of it again. We’re still in the middle of this mission, and a few dead friends should never stop me from completing my task.

we are in the outer space of wall Maria trying to manage the make best of the situation, if that's even possible right now. titans-or a human, the hole doesn't look like a titan has done it- crushed the walls so now the other ones are getting in. The view is disturbing to say the least. Dead all around, the ones there is no way saving are screaming with all that's left in them and who knows how many are still in there- I have to remind myself again to shut these out, i can worry about it later, for now there is only one thing to do-

kill as many of these assholes as possible. I jump from the rooftop into the endless titans, leaving my cadet’s body. I slash a titans nape with one fast blow and move onto my next victim. I see a cadet struggling to deal with an abnormal so i join in. At least i can save them.

‘Where is the rest of your team? You shouldn't be alone.’ I ask her after swiftly handling the situation. In the back of my mind I'm hoping that the answer wouldn’t be death, just in case i put on a poker face.

‘umm thanks for the help’ She said visibly distressed. Judging by that reaction it was her first expedition, poor girl getting her first real experience with this is not gonna do her much good. I try to give her a reassuring look but that's not my forte.

‘I just saw them over there’ she points with her head but its shaking so much its hard to get anything out of it. ’Ill go join them. Again thanks for the help.’ She swings away. I do the same.

after that, my body is on auto mode. Swing, neck, swing legs, wing neck, repeat. There was no strength left in me and i just wanted to stop for a minute but if i would i knew couldn't get up again. So much of that color code Hange made was in the air one can hardly see through it but it’s not stopping anyone. We all know how much is depending on us clearing out the space while the other can flee.

Suddenly i hear a loud noise. I finish with my current victim and go up to the walls to inspect. It was the signal that meant the fight was over. I desperately wanted to find the my te-it will take some time to really realize they are no more. My knees buckle but i keep myself standing. If don't sit down soon my body will collapse.

Next to the wall was a quickly build station we did on all expeditions. I just sat down on a bench in front of one of the main huts next to a cadet with their face in their hands. As i look around i see people eather crying, hugging each other and barley moving a muscle from still being in shock. The adrenalin was wearing off and they just realizing the losses, the same happening to me.

Some liquid is dripping down into my eyes from my head. Its weird because Titan blood should’ve went away by now, and i didn't have any head injuries. That is when it hit me. It was their blood. my squad is dead. Again. Every close friend i have- had, is getting ripped to shreds in the walls while i sit on a little bench. I take a closer look at the man next to me and realize its captain Ackerman. We probably look the same now: bruised, uniforms tainted by blood that's not ours, and ripped in a few places and hints of dirt and colors from the flares.

We literally never talked, but became cadets then captain around the same. For a few years we even shared a squad. We were in the same room most of our carrier. We are both closed off so we never got deeper than talking during meetings. I must’ve been staring at him for a while, because he looks up from his hands into my eyes waiting me to say something. When we lock eyes it hits me. From our year of cadets we were the last ones standing. From our old squad everyone died long ago. His family, that nice girl and boy i cant even remember the name of are dead. So is my old best friend whom we joined to the corps together. Its seems a different world remembering back to it, with one constant.

Ackerman. He was always there. everyone else coudn't live up to the standards of this life but we did. he did, he was always there with me and i cant even recall the names of his dead family. I don't think we even called each other by our first names yet, but it feels like a decade since we first started as cadets.

Seeing my face deep in thought and bloody he stated that i wont be talking anytime soon, so he went back to his hands, but a spoke up in the last second.

‘I guess you’re my best friend now.’ He quickly looked back to me and than around for whom I was speaking to, but when he realized it was him he looked at me weirdly, like I had three heads. ‘By default. Sometimes i forget we even know each other but now your the one i know the most about, and that's not really a compliment.’We both frowned ‘That came out wrong. I didn't mean it to sound bitchy.’

For a few seconds we just stared at each other blankly but i think he realized what i was saying and I saw two thing in his eyes. Pity, not for me but for my cadets. I liked that. And recognition.

‘You’re YN.’ His voice was weak. He probably lost most of his voice giving orders for his team. I don't have to worry about that for a while. ‘If its any consolation i saw two of your squad going down. It was not your fault. You fought well.’ He tilted his head up towards the still dirty sky, resting his head on the tent behind him and took a deep breath. Even looking like a corpse he was still beautiful. As that thought came up my mind my brows knitted- Its an objective observation, not a love confession. Not like i know more than two things about this man anyways.

‘As for the friend part, my pool of best friends candidates just got significantly smaller so you’re in luck.’ He looked into my eyes, but still kept his head upwards. ’If you’re interested you could join in to missions while you short things out. I’ll keep you busy.’ With that he closed his eyes once again. I considered the conversation over. I mimicked his movement and tried to tidy up my mind and maybe even rest a little.

I hope at least it was a fun read ")

#levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #attack on titan #aot x reader #aot #attack on titan x reader

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