#i need a break so bad

[anapotatowriter]

GIVE ME LUCK

My final exams are starting in... 3 hours? and end on the 17th

need all the luck you wonderful people can give me <3333

thank youuuu, my grades appreciate it-

1 note for each point that I will get out of 45-

#exams #desiblr #desi tumblr #padhai #i need a break so bad #ib #international baccalaureate

[loviely]

<3 being gentle w myself because the unbearable suffering i experience is out of my control and it's better to be gentle than to be suffering and cruel <3

#personal #i need a break so bad

[thegrapeandthefig]

ngl this is literally the worst week for the Anthesteria to fall on and I'm not sure how I'll pull it off. Might have to push it to this weekend because there's no way.

#i need a break so bad

[nangua]

ok i just need to get through this exam even if it kills me

#but honestly i want to go home 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #diary #i need a break so bad

[mittenhater]

uaghhhh i really need to talk to someone about my life situation but i can’t afford therapy !!! and i have no friends !!! and i can’t talk to my family because it will stress them out !!!

#i’m trying to avoid being negative about things but god life is really stressful right now !! #particularly the last five months #and i have been able to talk to absolutely no one #i need a break so bad #but it’s fine 😀 it’s chill 😀

[pint-o-beans]

this week is deadset on kicking me while I'm down huh

#i need a break so bad #my brain is so full of static and wind

[dawninlatin]

what's up i'm back from the dead just in time to procrastinate studying for my final exam this semester!

i just realized that cc3 comes out in less than two months so i need to finish my manorian cc3 crossover fic asap before sjm crushes all my hopes and dreams by not making them appear in the book:( stay clowning guys<3<3<3

you might get a fic tonight, might not, we'll see;)

#i should be doing old chemistry exams rn #i need a break so bad #uni is hard:(

[lilyflxwers]

me n sy r off to get run over so we can rest up in comas for a while, anyone else up to join?

@arakhnee

#I need a break so bad #a little nap would do me good! #sy can back me up on this #and sy also has to get run over (gently) bc I need them w me so I can rant even in coma at them

[honeyedmiller]

i wanna take a nap so bad but i can’t bc i have two homework assignments to do that are due at 11:59 tonight

#i’m begging for winter break to hurry up #i need a break so bad #college is my villain origin story fr #makes me question if getting my bachelor’s is worth me losing my sanity lol

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[mew-less]

iv been super art blocked (mental illness and school is kicking my ASS rn) so i might post some like. Unfinished art or old sketches or whatever!!! i swear i’ve been trying to work on my garden au but im jus super burnt out with everything lol

#i need a break so bad #soo tired and sleepy all the time #maybe if i convince ppl im insane then i can get like a month off from school /j #mew mews

[theriverbeyond]

Gideon Nav terrible fashion sense is so important to me babygirl has never been free to dress herself in her LIFE and i firmly believe that if she did have that freedom she would wear just. the most dogshit outfits. socks with slides. neon colors. shirts that say TITS with an arrow pointing down. outfits so bad every woman she meets is begging to take her on a department store makeover episode. outfits so bad you wonder if she got dressed in the dark upside down picking her clothing items by chaos potential. outfits so bad they wrap around to being sick as hell before winding back and punching you straight in the face

#gideon nav #the locked tomb #thinking about how her whole life she's just been. stuck in roles dictated to her. and trying to break free so bad #but babygirl is in QUICKSAND the more she reaches for freedom the more violently it is ripped away from her. #anyway. gideon goofy oitfit truthers rise up #like if she had the freedom to dress herself eventually i think she would grow to have a really nice sense of style #but she needs that freedom first. to be goofy. #to ME #trb.txt #tlt thoughts

[nocek]

Is it a stupid idea? Yes. Did I have to go overboard and animate it? No.

But I had to and I'm not sorry ;P

#peter b parker #spiderman #mayday parker #miguel o'hara #spiderman 2099 #miles morales #spiderverse #across the spiderverse #atsv #tbh i notice that i have this group of fave characters that really fall under category of #i need to wrap them in nice fuzzy blanket and give them a hot cocoa #and miguel kinda pings my blanket and cocoa senses #but more like in an impending doom sense? #like he is going to get his ass kicked so much in the next movie #beyond is so going to be like you like this broken man? #hold my beer we can break him some more #i can just feel it in my bones #because for right now he pings my need to spray him with a water like a naughty cat he is an then hold him in air jail till he calms down #which objectively is a bad idea #unless you are this sunshine idiot spiderman that i love #and here is long story long why this comic happened :B

[picturesque-score]

today has been really terrible

#idk why i even started talking on tumblr again it might be bc it has so few irls from school #im so #i wanna sleep for like a week straight at least #i need a break so bad #school has felt so dull and i feel so worthless overall #theres a halloween party later today and idek if i wanna go cuz i feel like im just gonna exist there pointlessly #i am so stressed i want to hug my mom #but she wouldnt even do that for me she’d tell me im being too loud or too whiny #and if she was REALLY disappointed or upset she’d tell me to fuck off #i feel so stuck #hell.. #also my roommate is so fuckin mean and nasty and i want them gone. hate it here

[violetxaura]

I feel so drained from everything I’ve been through this year I just want it all to stop

#I need a break so bad #like complete isolation #but my life is nonstop

[chitinleg]

got him off-balance!

#my art #ds9 #star trek deep space nine #julian bashir #elim garak #garashir #watercolor #image desc in alt text #i normally post on mondays but. today im breaking my pattern! getting a little silly. getting a little wild. garashir jumpscare #“tumblr user chitinleg garak would neot easily let himself be swooped off his feet into a hug like that” yes i know BUT! #look at his expression. look at how his arms r pinned. he didnt let this happen LMAO julian just surprised him. grabby huggy human behavior #if you look really closely you can see the tiniest frown in the world on Garak's face. because he's like “EEP !” #cant see bashirs face at all in this only his body but i think we can all imagine that whatevers going thru his head. he needs this hug bad #ALSO. for anyone wondering what the fucked up shadow is that starts at the juncture of the teal sleeve-cap where its set into the armhole #the jumpsuits have a bit of a fold of extra fabric (called an Action Pleat) there which allows for a little more maneuverability of the bod #AND creates a really sleek and flat back panel #because you can see the fabric twists along the side arent grabbing the flat back fabric theyre grabbing the fabric folded beneath it #often times i think about drawing out a dissection of kiras first uniform and this voy era one for other artists to use. bc god knows #i struggled at first to find full body references #they like to shoot ds9 very close to peoples heads. and the camera is so blurry. they smeared butter on that thing. god bless