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taestefully-in-luv · 4 months

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Our Time | JJK (Seven)

Summary: After an accident and being in a coma for three months, you finally wake. But the last nine years of your life have been completely erased. You rely on none other than your best friend, Jungkook, to help regain your memories and yourself. But what happens when the truth of your missing time starts unraveling and it isn’t all it’s made out to be?

Pairing: Jungkook x Fem Reader (Detective!Jk x Graphic Designer!OC) side pairing: Seokjin x Reader

Genre: crime au, fluff, heavy angst, smut, romance, darker themes, amnesia au. Best friends to ???

Word Count: 12.4k

Warnings: seriously depressing (for now) swearing, mentions of alcoholism, allusions to cheating

a/n: Hiiiiiii, long time no see!! Sorry for the delay and thank you for waiting. This story is at a depressing point (lol) so forgive me! I hope you guys can enjoy this chapter too 🥺 Well, I hope you guys enjoy and please let me know what you think! Send an ask if you want to be added to the taglist or just want to chat :]

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An eternity has passed since you’ve last seen Jungkook…a total of six weeks. Each day has gotten equally harder as it has gotten easier. You think it’s just your body slowly getting used to his absence but your mind is yearning. Yearning and hurting.

But there is something that’s also painful like missing your ex-husband—your best friend—and it’s the videos of your life. A life you know nothing of.

If you thought pictures were hard, videos are much harder.

But you asked for this. You asked your parents and your friends to send you old pictures and videos of times you don’t remember living.

You’re seeing pictures of you and your friends in restaurants you don’t know. Bars you don’t know. Concerts for artists you don’t know. Pictures of you in your bedroom, but it’s a bedroom you don’t know.

You have haircuts and styles you don’t know.

In the videos, you hear yourself laughing at inside jokes you don’t know. You’re using vocab and slang you don’t know. You see yourself giggling and joking around with people you. don’t. know. And you feel more like an outsider than ever. Not just to this world but to the girl you see on screen, you are an outsider to herworld.

Perhaps you’ve gotten too use to separating your different selves. And perhaps that makes it harder to unite with them.

Past you is current you but current you thinks of current you as future you.

It’s all a headache to think about.

You know they’re all you but because you’ve kept them separate, it’s somehow becoming the shackles that stops all the you’s from uniting.

And that’s what needs to happen for all of your memories to return. You have to unite 24 year old you and 33 year old you. It’s only your sanity on the line.

Now that you’ve discovered a couple of things, the only way to go from here is to intentionally spark your memories—in any way. You have to. Because you know 33 year old you has started something...

You quickly tear your eyes from the video on screen to take a quick peak towards the hallway that leads to the bedrooms. You’ve visited the attic a few times because of all of the memories that are stored in there.

But those boxes are filled with more than just memories.

Your eyes go back to your phone in hand as your thumb hesitantly hovers over the screen. You know you should move on to another video but it almost feels like you don’t have it in you. You don’t have it in you to stop listening to the sound of your child’s laughter when you can’t recognize it.

You don’t have it in you to stop the possibility of triggering your brain to suddenly remember him.

You finally force your thumb to the screen and you quickly pause it. You take in a sharp breath before exiting the video to scroll through the five videos your mom sent you. You see Haru in all five. And you can see Jungkook in three of them. You chose one where you couldn’t see Jungkook.

But this video of Haru’s giggles feels just as heartbreaking but more than anything, it feels frustrating. Because you don’t know him.

And that feels like an unbearable heartache on its own.

Suddenly, your eyes bounce from the video thumbnails to the text your mom just sent you.

Mom 7:28am

Good morning! We’re our way to the station and should arrive in Seoul around 2pm. You’re still picking us up, right?

You slowly close your already drooping eyes, the moment way too brief before you open them again, glancing towards the living room windows where the obvious sunlight comes through. Another night you didn’t sleep. Your eyes battling your brain. You might get a few hours if you try to sleep now, at the least.

“I just don’t understand how you can drink those all day,” Your mother’s eyes go from the knife in her hand to the iced coffee in yours. “I know it’s got to be giving you heartburn.” She laughs a little while shaking her head, eyes going back down to the cutting board where she chops onions.

You blink at your mom before dropping your eyes to the coffee in your hand, “Wait, is this why?”

She chuckles again, “Must be from your dads side of the family.” She shrugs now, letting the onions slide off the board and into a pan.

You roll your eyes at your moms playful comment before sliding the coffee away from you as you sit at your kitchen island, “Anyway, dad’s kind of taking a while, no?” You glance around the kitchen as if he would suddenly appear here.

Your mom smiles to herself while her hands remain busy with cooking dinner, “Yeah, he’s waiting for me to text him saying he can come back from the store.”

You can’t help but snort since you know exactly what she means.

Back when you were a teenager and going through life’s woes that made the whole world feel like it was ending, you would have your meltdowns. Period cramps that made you moody, a friend talking behind your back, the boy you liked was seen kissing someone else. All the things your dad left your mom to handle. He would suddenly want to go to the store and she would somehow signal him when it was safe to return—after the two of you got to talk out whatever was bothering you.

You realize she’s done it now.

“You never used to take this long to tell me what was going on though.” Your mom says quietly, eyes trained on the stove. “Especially not about Jungkook.” She sighs as she reaches for the wooden spoon before stirring the ingredients.

You feel something sharp inside your chest, just at the mention of his name, like there’s a sharp knife.

You turn your face to the side, something uncomfortable and electric tightens your jaw. As if it’s a burning signal that even the mere mention of Jungkook, makes you want to cry. But you won’t. “Well, mom.” You take a deep breath before looking towards her again with a sarcastic smile. “Our marriage wasn’t exactly as perfect as you thought.”

You hope this is enough for her to realize that Haru’s disappearance wasn’t the wedge that created such distance between you and your now, ex-husband.

You stare at the back of your mom’s head as she stands at the stove, still cooking. You wonder if she’s in utter shock at the revelation that perhaps Jungkook isn’t perfect. And your marriage definitely wasn’t. You wait and wait. But you see how she starts adding in a few other things.

“I said—”

“—What marriage is perfect?” Your mom finally turns around, cutting you off with a raised brow. “I never thought that. I’ll never think that. About anyone.” She scoffs before turning towards the stove again. “I told you that you didn’t usually take this long to talk about Jungkook with me.”

You don’t say anything.

Your mom turns her head towards you for a moment, you see the corner of her lip barely start to lift, like a knowing smile wants to form but her frown decides not to budge, “You were married to him for years…you don’t think you’ve come to complain to me?”

You understand her almost smirk now. She faces forward towards the stove again.

“Maybe around six months before Haru’s…incident. You came to Busan and I could tell something was up and you needed to talk.” Your mom rests a hand on her hip, while the other reaches for the stove knob as she turns it down. “But just like now…” She turns her head to eye you again, her worries pulling her lips into a deeper frown. “You took a while to tell me.”

You don’t really react. Not as your brain processes this information.

Your mom continues, “So I know your marriage wasn’t perfect. Jungkook’s not perfect. You’re not perfect.” She exhales through her nose in a half laugh. “I’m not perfect. Your father’s not either. But what’s between us…it has to be protected.”

“Unless that person betrays you.” You say in a low voice, eyes going to your fingers as you pick at your cuticles. “And you lose your trust in them.”

You hear your mom at the stove again as she turns it off and puts the lid on the pan. After a moment you see your mother in your peripherals as she comes to the other side of the counter and sits next to you.

“You mentioned something similar back then.” She says quietly, her face looking ahead. “But then I thought…well, that you thought it wasn’t what you thought.”

You quickly turn your head in your moms direction, eyes on hers. What all did you say to her? “Well, it was.” You say firmly.

Your mom’s eyebrows pull together slowly, something similar to confliction rising in her eyes. “And how exactly did Jungkook betray you?” She asks after a moment.

And it feels pathetic, the feeling of all the muscles in your face betraying your collected appearance. So pathetic that the answer to this question makes your expression twist and break off the cracking mask that is now crumbling and falling from your face.

It takes less than an instant for your heartbreak to be written all over.

Your mom puts a hand to your back, letting you cry it out.

Just like you did when you were a moody teenager and the only one who understood your meltdowns was your mom. She lets you know that once again, that no matter how small or how big—you had every right to feel the way you wanted to.

You cry, a soft pat repeating on your back as you mumble how sad you are and how embarrassing this is.

This short cry feels more like relief in the right company rather than something that is rocking your world in the worst way.

Your mom chuckles a little, pulling away from you. “Embarrassing?”

“Yeah.” You nod with a shameless smile and damp cheeks. “I know you know the me that’s been married to him for years but in my eyes we’ve been on one date and he was our neighbor. So I feel like you should be teasing me about us but you’re here with more knowledge about my marriage than me.” You laugh as you cry more, “So it’s a bit embarrassing.”

“Hm,” Your mom chuckles again, “I guess I can understand that.”

You nod while your fingers wipe beneath your eyes repeatedly, they’re only teary now.

Your mom brings her hand away from you, her fingers intertwining on top of the counter. You watch as she stares down at her hands in thought before she finally sighs and turns your way with a small smile. “Talk to me, y/n. You’re convinced Jungkook betrayed you in some way—ways I can only assume—but tell me, do you really think he’s capable of what you’re thinking?”

You study your mother’s expression for a long moment, brows beginning to furrow when you realize she doesn’t buy it. Tearing your eyes away from her, your lips twist in annoyance, “Are you saying I shouldn’t believe in my own memories?”

You hear your mom sigh again, “You remembered something unpleasant, y/n. I’m not saying I don’t believe you…but even back then,” She pauses, hoping you will look at her but you don’t. She finally continues, “Things just didn’t add up…”

You’re quick to find her eye again, “What all did I tell you?”

At this, your mother scoffs lightly, her small smile still on her lips. “Nothing that really made sense. Seemed like you just…couldn’t tell me things. But I’m not dumb, you know? You drop plenty of hints when you get talking.”

“Oh.” You blink at her, wishing you could even remember whatever hints she’s referring to.

“But the issue is that you stopped talking. You got quiet.” Your mother looks back at her hands again, her gaze hardening. “Then when Haru’s incident happened…you shut us all out. Everyone…” She whispers, lines between her brows forming, a hint of disappointment in her voice that doesn’t go unnoticed by you. “Even Jungkook.”

You can’t help but feel that same knife start slicing open the inside of your chest at the mention of his name again. “Probably because it’s his fau—”

“—He lost Haru too, y/n.” Your mom cuts you off, her eyes that are filled with something close to anger land on you. “You both did and what’s worse is that you both lost one another in the process.”

“I don’t remember the process but I’m sure I had a hard time even looking him in the eye.” You spit out. “You don’t know what happ—”

“—Do you?” She throws back at you. “Because you have yet to give me a story that makes even a little sense.”

Your heart starts screaming like someone just squeezed it way too hard. You force yourself to look away because tears that no one invited start to form. You feel done with this conversation but before you can announce its over, your mom sighs again and her palm rests against your back and you don’t have it in you to shove her off.

“I’m sorry.” She mutters softly, almost sounding regretful. “I am. You have no idea…” You feel her hand slowly retreat from your back, “How sometimes I would just pray you wouldn’t get your memories back. So you wouldn’t…”

Your mother’s voice grows much softer, almost too quiet to hear.

“Seeing you heartbroken all over again hurts us, y/n. I thought it would be easier…for you. But I guess it’s just easier for us.” She admits, a sharpness in her tone that indicates her regret. “There’s no way you would live happier if parts of you felt missing.”

You feel her words stick to your skin uncomfortably, like sweat from the hot sun rather than a run you worked for. It’s unpleasant but also unwelcomed.

Unwelcomed because you don’t want to accept a life where that could be the case—forced to live a life even with parts of you missing.

An uncomfortable reality and possibility.

“More than…” You begin, hands lifting to gesture towards nothing. “This is more than just Jungkook.”

Your mom chuckles to herself. “Of course I know that.”

“I’m starting to wonder what would feel worse,” You glance towards your empty hands before your fingers clutch nothing softly. “Remembering my child. Or not remembering my child.” Then your lips curl into a half smile that feels so empty as you silently cringe toward yourself, “It doesn’t even feel right saying ‘my’…” you immediately halt, teeth suddenly piercing into your bottom lip. You don’t even feel right calling Haru ‘your’ child. Because you don’t feel like his mother.

You try to keep the half smile plastered on your face but the sharp shock of tears that fill your eyes betray your wants. You quickly blink them away.

“I want to hate Jungkook so bad for so many reasons,” You admit before clearing your throat, “But I mostly hate him because at least he would recognize our sons laugh while I don’t. I hate him because I blame him but at least he knows the kid that I hate him for.”

Also an uncomfortable reality.

“Well,” Your mothers tone lets you know she’s about to change the subject. “You had a doctor’s appointment recently, right? How did it go?”

You shake your head, “He said the progress can be really slow…and that it’s normal for the brain to block out certain traumatic events. So much…” You pause.

“So much what?”

You sigh, “So much doesn’t make sense. It has me feeling so restless.”

“I’m sorry.” Your mom releases a shaky breathy before you hear her voice crack. “I’m so sorry.”

“You know what’s the worst part?” You decide to keep the venting session going. “I just feel ashamed. I’m a parent but I don’t even know about it. I feel so lost. I don’t think if I was given a child I could—”

“This doesn’t make you less of a mother, y/n.” Your mom snaps her eyes in your direction, a fierceness in them. “You are still a parent. A damn good one at that.”

You study your mother’s expression with a fondness, because you see her sincerity. This makes your eyes sting again. “Thanks, mom.”

After a nice weekend with your parent’s, you decide you’ve been resting enough. You want to start working again, having too much time on your hands seems like a problem nowadays. You find yourself back at that new café.

“I’ll take a honey lavender latte.” You tell the girl at the counter, her eyes immediately widening before she nods her head in approval.

“Great choice. A personal fav.” She grins before continuing, “And I make it the best.”

A new voice joins in from behind, startling you. “Make that two.” A man says. You quickly turn around, eyes rising towards the same man you spilled coffee on. “Oh, it’s you.”

He brings a hand to his heart, “I’m a you? That means you remember me!” He smiles at you, shaking his dark hair from his eyes.

You bite your lip, guilt sinking in from the last time. “Well, I thought you were gonna press charges for burning you last time. So, I guess I would remember.”

He looks taken aback, his eyes going round. “Press charges?” Then he laughs, “No, no. I wouldn’t do that, who wants to deal with cops, anyway?”

“Just the two lattes?” The girl at the counter speaks up in a sing song voice and you immediately spin in your spot to apologize to her but the man beats you to it while he pulls out his wallet.

“Should we get a cookie too?” He asks you, his head tilting a little and you start shaking your head. “You sure?” He smiles.

You’re the one taken aback. This guy is too kind. You wonder if he’s like this with everyone.

“Seokjin, you are going to buy us out again.” The girl sighs as she smiles before glancing at you. “He ordered us all out just yesterday.”

“It was for the elderly! You know they get a little cranky if they don’t get something a little sweet to eat! Hasn’t it brought more customers? You could say thank you.” He gets playfully defensive, pout on his lips and the girl gives a shrug while nodding. “Well, it does make my boss happy. And if he’s happy,” She leans over the counter and whispers. “It’s a better day for everyone.” Then she giggles.

“See!” Seokjin crosses his arms like he’s still offended. “I’m just trying to help you all have a better day!”

You guess he is this nice to everyone.

And before you know it, he’s taking out his card and paying for the drinks. You realize it but it’s too late.

“You didn’t have to pay for that…” You mumble, hand paused on your own wallet. “But thank you.”

“Hopefully you’ll have an even better day too.” He smiles at you and it feels warm.

You take a moment to get a good look at him and you realize just how handsome he is. You remember his chest and broad shoulders from last time but now you see just how full and plump his lips are but you also like his brown eyes.

He smiles at you again.

You’re staring.

“See you around, I guess.” Seokjin puts his wallet back into his back pocket before walking off towards a table near a window.

You know his name but he doesn’t know yours and that feels a little bit like a shame.

But there’s no time for harmless nice guys giving you warm smiles. You’re here to work. Or actually here to retrain yourself on how to do your work.

Your job agreed to help you relearn everything so today, you’re going to sit at a table and get trained. And the girl you knew from college that works at your job will be in contact with you if you have any questions. Mijoo. Apparently you two were a bit acquainted before you started working from home.

When you find a table near the bookshelves, you get to work. There’s updates on old programs you were familiar with but there’s new ones too. Plus, the market is a bit different. It’s a lot to learn but you think you’ll get the hang of it quickly. Just like you did back in the day when you were just starting out.

Two hours or more has passed and you’re buried in your work. But you see a man in your peripherals and a cookie wrapped in parchment paper suddenly on the table right next to your laptop.

You look up and Seokjin gives you that same warm smile before it turns sheepish. “I ended up ordering two for myself a little while ago but I’m too full. You can have it. Well…well, only if you want it, of course.”

You blink up at him before you look at the cookie.

“It’s okay, if you don’t!”

Your eyes go to him again and you shake your head before you give him your own smile. “No, no!” You tell him quickly, “I-I’ll take it. Thank you.”

“Oh.” His lips form the perfect ‘o’ and he gives you a nod. “Nice. See ya.” And he’s smiling again before walking out of the café.

His entire aura is warm and you realize you appreciate people like him even more now. With how cold life has been.

After a long day of sitting at the café, you’re now sitting on the floor of your dusty attic. It’s gotten easy to figure out which boxes were stored here by your own hands and which boxes are the ones that Jungkook packed up to avoid you seeing your life. It’s mostly obvious because Jungkook’s packing is much more organized than yours.

You wonder if this box of framed photos in front of you is so neat because he looked at each one slowly, taking his time as he looked at the memories he knew you wouldn’t remember.

You wonder if he took his time because he misses Haru.

And because he missed you.

You manage to conceal a bitter scoff as you lift your foot and push it flat against the box, forcing it back a few inches. Your concern isn’t Jungkook right now. Stop thinking about him. Stop looking at your photos with him. Stop looking at the life you lived with him.

Right now those are your priority.

A strained sigh leaves your mouth as you eye the boxes you’ve dragged to the other side of the attic. You’ve been trying to organize everything in here so you know what’s what. Eyes slide to the left where all your household memories are. Then they slowly drag across the attic, passing by an old, dusty desk to the right side where your personal mystery boxes are.

It’s taken a few days to really separate everything. Because this attic has more than just some boxes of memories and boxes of mysteries. It also has a few too many creepy crawlers hanging in the corners. And things you’re sure 33 year old you wanted to sell and get rid of.

Buzz.

Your eyes suddenly shoot down to your phone when it lights up and vibrates the attic floor, already seeing that it’s another message from Misuk in the group chat with her and Subin.

Last you checked they were gushing over a new song from an artist they like who you barely even know so you don’t rush to really look. Your eyes stay on the screen until the light dims and it goes black.

You’d be lying if you said you wish you didn’t have help. Someone to guide you to some answers.

Another strained sigh before a half assed chuckle barely rumbles in your chest.

Well, ‘someone’ could guide you to some answers. And that someone is 33 year old you but unfortunately you don’t understand majority of what you’ve found. As if only parts of the puzzle are in these boxes, just edges and corner pieces and you’re missing all the pieces that fill everything in.

Your eyes still linger on the black screen as they begin to lose focus as your mind whirls into your endless list of questions again. The boxes of mysteries are only three boxes. One of them having nothing to do with your son, you think. But the other two have caused some concern.

Something tells you that 33 year old you is really not convinced that your son is dead.

It’s clear you were investigating on your own. But your notes barely make sense. And it is more than fucking frustrating.

You’re about to close your eyes and groan but your phone suddenly lights up again as you feel a slight vibration next to your foot. It’s another text but it doesn’t look like its apart of the group chat.

You squint at the screen but it’s too far to really read anything so you finally give in and reach for the device and bring it closer to your face. And then you feel the sudden thump in your lower belly where your heart just landed.

Jungkook 9:19pm

How are you doing?

A razor sharp sting tightens every muscle in your body, the sudden tension making your breaths stop.

More than a month and a half since you’ve last seen and spoken to him and he’s finally said something to you.

Finally because as much as you hate him, his existence makes you breathe. And you have to breathe to live.

Buzz.

Your hand vibrates along with your phone and you suddenly clench your fingers around it.

Jungkook 9:19pm

I wanted to tell you how sorry I am.

Your heart suddenly leaps up into your throat, choking you a bit as you try to breathe. Is that a confession? It already bothers you that he barely tried to explain himself and now he’s been silent all this time. And now he’s apologizing? He’s guilty, isn’t—

Buzz.

Jungkook 9:20pm

I just wish you would talk to me y/n…

That concealed scoff from earlier has finally broken free, pushing past your lips in something like disgust. Talk to him? Talk to him? You feel an uncomfortable anger start poking your skin from the inside and you squeeze your phone harder in you hand. The fucking audacity.

There’s a brief moment when you consider chucking your phone across the attic but fortunately you only slam it to the floor. Frustration still hot on your skin, you quickly reach for a worn out decorative pillow and hurl it in front of you with a lot of strength, knocking against the old desk as it wobbles for a moment.

You release a short puff of air, head lowering and eyes closing as you try to calm yourself. You’ll admit, it did feel kind of good to release some en—

Thump.

Your eyes snap open as you tilt your head up towards the desk where the sudden sound just came. Did something fall inside? But what? You had checked the desk before. The top drawer only had a few pens and some sticky notes while the bottom drawer was empty minus some loose sheets of printer paper. And the left side of the desk is just two empty book shelves. It is basically empty.

It was probably nothing.

You’re about to move on, mind already wanting to go back to Jungkook when the sudden thump just can’t make sense. Something with some weight definitely fell in or on the desk, right? But you’re sure there’s nothing from when you checked the other week.

Doesn’t hurt to look again, you decide. Maybe this is your intuition talking to you.

You finally lift yourself from the attic floor, giving one last look at the boxes that are filled with your life with Jungkook and Haru before heading towards the middle where the desk is. It’s got an impressive layer of dust that you haven’t found any real reason to clean since the desk isn’t something you’d visit often.

Giving in, you reach for the top drawer and open it, just like you had the other week, but just like last time, the drawer only has three pens, some used sticky notes with doodles and numbers lying around and one black marker.

You knew there was nothing. Shutting the drawer, you quickly open the bottom drawer. It’s a deeper space, like you could fit a small filing cabinet. But instead, there’s only a few loose sheets of blank printer paper.

Not convinced, you shove your hand inside the drawer, feeling around for anything strange and even trying to reach behind but you’re met with nothing. Okay. You step away from the desk for a moment, eyeing it suspiciously because you’re certain something with more weight than any of those things fell. And fell here.

There’s nothing else here besides this raggedy pillow. You glance down at it, the pathetic thing on the floor before you groan, kicking it away from you.

So what? You just imagine all kinds of things now? Is that the new normal?

Suddenly not minding the thick layer of dust, you lean forward in defeat, hands gripping the edge of the desk as you support some of your weight onto it but the desk wobbles forward on its probably broken, unsteady legs. And you know you don’t imagine it when something with some weight definitely shifts inside.

“Uh, what was that…?” You mumble to yourself, eyebrows coming together slowly as you take another look at the desk. Your eyes immediately fall to the left side where the two empty shelves are. It definitely came from this side.

You quickly squat down, eyes trained on the shelves, inspecting every single inch of the empty and terribly dusty space. “Don’t tell me…” You whisper, expression highly focused as you look at the back panel of the shelves. The shelving space is not nearly as deep as of the width of the desk.

You blink at it, breaths now falling from your lips faster as your fingers quickly go to touch the backing panel and when it wiggles freely with enough pressure, you know you’ve found something. Feeling impatient, you jostle the thin wood around until you can figure out how to remove it.

And when it starts poking through the side of the shelf, your heart starts racing while you quickly slide the panel through the wooden desk. You feel it. Maybe it’s instinct because somewhere in your brain you know this is familiar and means something. The panel drops to the floor once its slid out but before it even touches, your hands are already digging inside.

“Okay, okay, okay.” You repeat with shaky breaths. Fingers already grasping what’s here and you feel yourself growing more and more anxious. A shoe box. An open shoe box that’s close to overflowing. You pull it out while you sit down onto the floor, the box settling right in front of you.

“Okay,” You sigh, reaching for the first item on top. It’s a small note book, the kind you’d use to make a check list of sorts. You take a deep breath before flipping it open and a few loose contents fall out. And then you feel the breath of a ghost at the base of your neck.

You pick up a folded sheet of paper along with a bent photo of Nabi. You feel the cold breath travel down your spine as you unfold the paper and read what’s written in someone else’s handwriting.

Yun Nabi

118, Seolleungro-150, Yongsan-gu, Seoul

010-6203-3087

010 3476 9876àweekends

010 9874 3456 new ##

You stare down at the worn paper, confusion clouding your mind. You want to rip her photo to shreds.

You quickly glance to the bent photo in your other hand and before you tell your hand what to do, it’s already crumbling it. Your dark gaze set on the now wrinkled woman who managed to gain Jungkook’s attention.

Maybe it’s not her fault if she’s great.

Maybe it’s your fault.

Your eyes stay trained on the crumbled photo but they’ve lost focus once again. Soon the balled up picture and the folded note fall to your lap as Numbness hugs you over your shoulders and as Insecurity sits next to you and whispers into your ear.

Why did Jungkook cheat on you?

You manage to blink but your throat feels dry.

Why did he do that to you? Why would anyone…?

You want to laugh at yourself. Because you know if this happened to anyone else you would know it wasn’t their fault. The person who cheated…it’s about them and no one else. And you want to tell yourself this, remind yourself, confirm that this isn’t your fault.

But why do you sit here, letting Numbness hug you tighter? And why do you sit here and wonder?

You wonder…you wonder where you went wrong that you were no longer enough for him.

And it doesn’t feel fair that you’re wondering that.

You take the photograph and crumple it even more before throwing it to the side and decide to open the notebook. And you see more puzzle pieces.

Routine

7 he wakes up….sometimes 8

Jungkook takes him to work sometimes for fun

Someone at work?? Who? Another list

Daycare usually Mondays & Thursdays for sure

Busiest days at work

You flip the page

Thursday the 14th, at the bus station,

The 18th when I was going home

There was a car parked outside on the street for 3 days

The 5th

The 8th

The 12th I ran into someone who knew me but I didn’t know them

A man with buzzed hair

Something hot bubbles inside your chest and it feels like it’s burning you. Anxiety has a touch of fire. You flip to the next page.

It just scribbles like you were frustrated.

Just like you are now.

You decide to close to the notebook. Discomfort swallowing you like a dry pill.

But you don’t stop looking through the box. Pictures of people you don’t know. More lists of times and dates. But no context. More frustration building.

Your head snaps up suddenly when you recall something falling so you quickly reach inside the secretive hole in the desk and feel around. Your fingers grasp at nothing until something cold is felt. You can tell what it is immediately as you wrap your fingers around the device. A phone.

You take the cold, shiny device in your clammy hands and rush to turn it on but it’s got a dead battery. You turn the phone upside down to check what kind of charger it takes and remember that downstairs in the kitchen there’s a drawer of random charging cables.

You need to get this thing turned on. Now.

“Are you okay?” You immediately straighten your back, phone dropping to the attic floor, the sudden voice a shock since you live alone. You quickly look around you, eyes darting from place to place but of course, there’s no one here. You feel sick. Especially because…didn’t that voice sound like—

“Are you okay?” Jungkook comes next to you, his eyes avoiding yours but he can’t hide the concern in his voice. You look at him, equally annoyed as he is. But still, you hear in his voice he doesn’t totally hate you.

“It’s fine.” You mumble, fingers picking at the bandage wrapped around your palm. “It just got scraped.”

Jungkook chuckles humorlessly, “Misuk said Subin threw up in her mouth because of the blood.”

You shrug, “Okay, it was pretty bad.”

Jungkook stays silent and the same tension that’s been building since Sana’s wedding is here again. You, Jungkook, Misuk and Subin came to Busan for the weekend to celebrate your mom’s birthday but today, the day of the party, has been anything but fun. One thing after the other, but the cherry on top was around 20 minutes ago when you accidentally sliced your palm open while helping in the kitchen.

Now you’re outside trying to cool off but the last person you want to see has come to check on you.

“Does it hurt?” Jungkook stares up at the tree you two are standing in front of outside your house. He doesn’t bother to try and soften his tone. Sure, it’s concerned but it’s also irritated.

“I told you it’s fine.” You answer, sounding clipped. “Just go back inside.”

“You’re mad at me if I’m inside. You’re mad at me if I’m outside.” He stuffs his hands in his front jean pockets and continues gazing at the tall tree. “I really don’t understand why you’re so up—”

“—Oh? You don’t?” You turn your head to glare at him, “Really?”

You watch Jungkook’s profile, his jaw tightening for a moment before he sighs out.

“I don’t know.” He tells you before turning to face you as well. Your eyes are narrowed but he sees plenty of disappointment in them. “Maybe I do. But I also seriously don’t.”

You look down to the ground, a moment of consideration because you kind of understand him. But then you recall last night and realize that no, he definitely should understand why you’re mad.

Things have changed between you two. Ever since Sana’s wedding, there’s been something different and enticing. Moments that feel way too charged to be platonic. But neither of you have spoken up about it. Maybe he’s afraid you don’t feel it. Or maybe you’re now just realizing you’re afraid he is the one who doesn’t feel it.

Because how doesn’t he understand that having his last serious girlfriend from Busan in your parents living room while they flirt with one another relentlessly in front of you, is not going to make you mad?

“You don’t think flirting with your ex-girlfriend in front of me wasn’t going to make me mad, Jungkook?” You throw the words at him without much care for his reaction. It’s an honest question, in your book.

“Okay,” Jungkook tilts his head back before running his hands through his hair, “So this is about Hanja.” He groans a little before giving in and taking a step closer to you. “I didn’t think it was a big deal…and you call her my ex girl-friend as if she doesn’t have a name. Hanja told me she had a lot of classes with you in High School!”

“And?” You deadpan. “Doesn’t make us friends.”

“Okay.” He nods but now he’s the one with disappointment in his eyes. “But that doesn’t mean you had to be rude.”

“You invited her to my mom’s birthday party!” You throw back, “And have barely even…” It sucks that your voice gets a little softer because you just want to make a point. “You’ve barely even looked at me since she’s been here.”

Jungkook’s lips part and he looks conflicted as he registers your words but you don’t wait for him to get it before you continue.

“Sure,” You manage a stubborn shrug, “Maybe you’re not flirting with her but you don’t stop her when she does with you.”

Jungkook’s brows furrow, “She hasn’t flirted with me, y/n.” He tries to assure you, his tone finally not irritated but instead the same soft as yours. “We just have history, you know? But that was what? 5 years ago? 6? 7? I don’t even know. We ended on good terms so I thought it was harmless. She’s in town too and had nothing to do…I didn’t think it was a big deal.”

“I just…” You finally meet his eye for the first time more willingly, “I don’t know.”

He finally relaxes his features and a pleasantly pleased smile starts tugging at the corner of his lips, “You’re…jealous.” He confirms softly.

You raise a brow at him, feeling annoyed. “So then you do understand why I’m mad.”

“Yeah.” He agrees but you see the uncertainty in his eyes. “But I wasn’t sure. Maybe hoping but I couldn’t be sure, you know?”

“Did you want me to be jealous?” You ask, unsure how that makes you feel but you see genuine and quiet panic all over his face while he shakes his head.

“No, no.” He tells you with big eyes. “But when I realized you were mad at me, I thought it could be because you were jealous. And,” He pauses, swallowing what you think is nerves. “That’s why I became hopeful, I guess.”

“And why is that?” A cool breeze suddenly picks up and it feels nice against your cheeks.

“Because it might mean…” His words grow quieter, seeking your understanding of where he was going. “But without being direct…well, I can’t really be sure, you know?”

“Then why can’t we be direct?” You gesture between your bodies, “I like you, Jungkook.” It doesn’t take a lot of effort to say it, to admit it, but it does take a lot of effort to not tear your eyes away from him in embarrassment. But your gaze remains on his.

“And there’s no way I’m imagining—”

“—You aren’t!” Jungkook panics, his fingers flying to your wrists, holding on to them as he persuades your eyes to remain on his again. “You aren’t imagining it. I know it, too.” He tells you but he looks and sounds conflicted.

“For months, Jungkook.” You say quietly, “I’ve been wondering for months if you’re going to make a real move on me.”

He can’t help but smile at you nervously, his clammy fingers still pressing into your wrists. “I just…” Jungkook’s smile begins dropping as he explains himself, “…I’m so afraid of talking about this because it might change our friendship and you’re just,” He pauses, eyes searching yours because he needs to see if you understand. “You’re too important, y/n.”

“You’d rather never tell me how you feel because it might change our friendship?” You ask him, ignoring the fire burning along the edges of your skin. “You would rather spend forever just wondering if I feel the same as you? Just like I’ve been wondering if you feel the same as me? Too afraid to talk about it because it…might change our friendship?”

Jungkook’s fingers finally disconnect from your skin and into his hair, his nerves only multiplying but he finds the courage to say, “If you didn’t feel the same, things would change.”

“If I didn’t feel the same then things wouldn’t have changed in the first place. Jungkook, things have already changed. And I don’t like wondering. We’re already past platonic so I’ll tell you—”

Suddenly, your head starts pounding.

A new memory unlocked.

And it only makes you sit on your attic floor and cry.

Great timing.

Your fingers feel frozen, maybe even numb as you dig through another random kitchen drawer to find the correct charger for the phone you’ve found. So far you haven’t been lucky. Then again, nothing feels lucky. You’ve been quiet to yourself all day after last night. Not even a thought out loud.

Your eyes grow watery again but you immediately slam your lids shut, squeezing tightly because you refuse to shed anymore tears. You might have to buy a new charger but you really aren’t in the mood to leave the house. You aren’t in the mood for anything except maybe hurling more old, worn out, decorative pillows at dusty furniture. But now you feel afraid for what you might find. The more mysteries you unlock, you’re afraid to unlock a memory along with it.

It's evening now, the kitchen clock says 6:13pm. The day has gone by. You watched the sun rise this morning and now you’re witnessing it set. You have yet to find it in you to sleep today. Maybe you’re afraid you’ll slip into your bed that you once shared with Jungkook and suddenly you’ll remember all the times you’ve slept in it with him. You can’t afford any more of that. Just yesterday you were begging 33 year old you to share some of the life you’ve missed and now that she is sharing some of the years…you’re realizing you aren’t ready.

You take a deep breath, shutting a drawer shut when you decide to order a new charging cable for the phone. Your eyes slide to the device that rests peacefully on the counter while your heart beats uncomfortably in your throat. You stare at it, wondering what contents lie inside but a part of you feels fearful of what you might find.

Taking another breath, you wrap your arms around yourself, hugging yourself for a moment before you decide to take care of this. Sitting yourself at the kitchen island, opening your laptop, you search the phone and get the cable ordered for delivery tomorrow. This is better than driving yourself nuts trying to find it.

You close your eyes, resting your head down to the counter, wishing you could turn your day around.

Ding Dong.

Your eyes snap open.

And something unsettling starts whirling in your belly. As if you can sense who is at your door.

Knock Knock Knock.

You groan quietly to yourself because you just know. You know exactly who it is for some insane reason. You just feel it. You stand from the stool and walk yourself to your front door. Swinging it open without even peeping through the hole to confirm your suspicions.

Jungkook’s doesn’t look too good. For as handsome as he is, he looks rough. His skin is dry, his lips are pale and the bags under his eyes give away how much sleep he isn’t getting. You don’t care though. Not about him. Your fingers grip around the door frame tighter, your skin burning at the sight.

“I just wanted to see how you were.” He tells you, voice so quiet you had to read his lips. You want to scoff bitterly in his face, shut him out and make him feel thrown away.

But your foot pushes the front door further open as you turn around to go into the living room. You’ve invited him in. Though, ‘invited’ feels like a strong word.

You can hear the door creak open even furth from behind you, shoes are shuffling onto the floor and the door clicks shut. You hold your breath as you walk to the sofa, sitting yourself down at the very end of it as your eyes glue themselves to the black screen of the TV.

Jungkook follows your lead and sits at the other end of the couch. In your peripherals, he looks like a big, black scribble of a thousand swirling lines and you don’t have it in you to focus your eyes on him and let him appear as Jungkook. As a person. So, you keep your eyes on the TV.

Nothing is said between you both for a long while, all your senses are heightened though as you anticipate his next words to you. The hairs on your arms rise when the click of the AC goes off as it turns on. You wonder if his next words have to do with apologizing about cheating on you. Apologize to you that you just couldn’t be enough. Apologize to you for losing your son.

Your head slightly tilts in the direction of the kitchen when you notice the soft drip drops of water from the faucet. The distant bark from a small dog. Jungkook’s fingernails scratching his forearm. Every noise is going off in your ears, haunting you, taunting you and driving you insane.

You only want to hear his voice.

“Why are you here?” You finally break the noisy silence.

“To see you.” He says, voice quiet and afraid. “You’re doing better than me, huh?”

Your palms are flat against the couch cushion before you slowly curl your fingers, grabbing nothing of the material at his words. “Do you really think you get to say that to me?”

“This isn’t fair for either of us, y/n.” Jungkook has the audacity to keep speaking. “You just don’t understand.”

You twist your head to eye him, your jaw tight as you watch him sit on the sofa, eyes cowering away from yours. “You’ll stop talking now.” You tell him as your voice becomes quiet and afraid as well. You’re livid but you speak like you’re hurt.

“Then…” Jungkook pauses, his eyes going all around the living room now before he sighs. “Then I’ll just listen.”

You push your head back in disbelief, “I didn’t ask you to come here so I can talk to you. In fact, I didn’t ask you to come here at all.”

He finally turns his head toward you, his eyes are red and watery and you hate that you hate seeing him on the verge of tears. You watch his throat as you pay attention to the hard way he swallows. “I know. But I had to see you.”

Suddenly, your head starts pounding, a harsh banging from inside your forehead. You quickly let your head fall into your hands when those words keep repeating inside your mind. I know. But I had to see you. I know. But I had to see you. I know. But I had to see you.

You groan into your hands. The pain erupting on all sides of your head. The words repeating over and over, making your ears feel like they’re bleeding. I know. But I had to see you.

“y/n?” You hear Jungkook’s quiet and afraid voice.

I know. But I had to see you.

“I thought you didn’t want to see me…” Jungkook’s eyes are blood shot. You know he’s been drinking again.

“I know.” You mutter, “But I had to see you.”

“Oh.” He stumbles backward, his hand widening his front door to his new, shitty apartment. You feel anger bubbling, because you know he’s drunk. You’re doing everything in your power to keep it together and he’s wasting his time drinking.

“You’ve shut out Jimin.” You tell him, cutting to the chase. “So you don’t know anything, do you?”

“W-What’s there to know? I don’t need them anymore. Also, I was fucking fired.”

You snap your eyes to his as he still stands at his open doorway. “You’re pissing me off, Jungkook.”

“I can do this on my—”

“—They’re closing the case.” You say. “They’re saying he’s…that he’s…” You pause, throat growing drier. “You know.”

“I don’t know.” Jungkook drunkenly shrugs, slamming the door shut, making you flinch. “They’re all wrong, anyway.”

You feel your shoulders growing tenser, your lips in a hard, thin line before they die into a frown. “They’re saying we should hold a funeral.”

Jungkook’s body goes still, his hanging arms at his sides suddenly rise to his face when he rubs his temples. “Excuse me?”

“They want to—”

“Just stop!” He suddenly cries out, voice shrill. You see his eyes growing redder and redder as tears fill them up. “None of you know what you-you’re talking about. Just shut up, all of you!”

You flinch.

Jungkook’s fingers go into his hair when he starts pulling on the strands. “This just isn’t right.” He keeps muttering to himself, “I got this. I got this. I got this.” He starts pacing back and forth in front of his coffee table. “Just stop. Stop talking.”

You stand in silence.

“I said stop talking!”

You watch him unravel.

“Jung—”

Glass breaks across the coffee table. A shattered soju bottle that he’s thrown.

You flinch again.

You take a step back.

Jungkook falls to the floor, crying and yelling at no one. The loss of your son is much worse than you could have imagined. But you knew telling Jungkook about the funeral was going to cause something more serious to unravel. But you didn’t imagine this.

“y/n?” Jungkook voice sounds sober now. “y/n?”

Your head is about to split into sections, the pain so overwhelming.

You lift your face from your hands, your cheeks overflowing with tears. Why did you have to remember that?

“Hey,” Jungkook stands from the sofa and comes closer to you. His hand hesitantly landing on your shoulder but just like in your memory, you flinch. He immediately frowns. “y/n…” He brings his hand back to his body. “Talk to me, I’ll just listen.”

“G-go.” You keep your head low as your eyes stay glued to your lap. “Please just go.”

His hands freeze at his sides, using all of his self-control. Even you can feel how tense his body is, just from the heat that radiates off of it. You’re being serious. He needs to go before you spiral into one of your throbbing headaches that give you a panic attack. The kind you can manage on your own—and prefer to.

“Please, Jungkook…” You squeeze your eyes shut. “I’m not feeling well now so pl—”

“—Okay.” His fingers curl into hard fists. “Call me if you need anything. Please.” He stands here for another moment, like his feet have become glued to the floor and he’s unable to move. But after a tentative sigh, they finally move. And your ears bleed again at each sound that can be heard. The click of the AC turning off, the small dog whining in your neighbor’s yard, each drip of water dropping from the faucet and finally the whoosh of the front door opening and closing shut. And you finally let go a long, long breath.

Your head hurts and your heart hurts, the memory fresh in your mind. You never imagined to see Jungkook…like that. You barely recognized him. Does he have a drinking problem? Or did? You need to erase these images in your head, or at least scatter something pretty over them. And that’s when you get an idea that you know is pure torture.

One of the boxes from the attic is sat on your living floor, with your bottom plopped right next to it. It’s a box you organized yourself, you can tell. Just a box of intimate memories with your ex-husband. You pull out a letter you’ve read at least six times now…might as well make it seven.

The envelope is pink with little hearts drawn all over it and though it’s only eight years old, it looks like it’s at least 20. The envelope itself is wrinkly with random water stains and the page inside is soft and used like you’ve read this letter a thousand times. Might as well make it a thousand and one.

You slip the paper out of the envelope, unfolding it carefully, the crinkling paper opening up with Jungkook’s handwriting written all over.

April 10 2015

Dear y/n,

Hi it’s me, your boooooyfriend. >.< sorry I’m still getting used to it. You’re probably wondering why I’m writing a letter when I could just call or text you but you seemed to think it was cute in that movie we watched the other day and so Im writing you one too!! Also, I think my peers are thinking Im working really hard on a case. I wish I was but they won’t give me anything good. I know it hasn’t even been a year since I finally landed here in the Investigation sector as a detective but they still treat me like such a rookie…blaaaahhhhh you know this already. The captain seems to think I have potential though. But ya know what? The guys here said the only thing ive done right so far is getting you as a girlfriend hahaha

Maybe they’re right I mean they’re definitely right

I miss you so much

Im sitting here at my desk writing you and its just making me miss you a kabillzillion times more…….i seriously aaaaahhhh im going crazy because I miss you that much

Im so lucky youre so amazing and my favorite person to exist and so pretty so pretty

I know we’ve only been together for a short while but what if I told you I know exactly how I feel about yoooouuuuu huh what if

Ask me about it when I see you tonight

Love,

Jungkook Your cheerios

You read it. Then you read it again. This is the Jungkook you want to remember.

It’s the next day and you’re opening the package you ordered just yesterday. Pulling out a small box, you get it open and unravel the charging cable to the phone you’ve found. Taking a look at the clock, you realize you’re a bit behind. You wanted to get to the café at noon for work but it’s already 15 after. You quickly plug the charger into the wall and get the phone charging. It’s dead so it’ll take a while to get turned on so you decide to leave it here while you head out.

The café is a bit busy today, more people than you’re used to, but thankfully you see an open table. You set up your laptop and get to work. Taking a pause to message Mijoo about needing some guidance if she can meet any of these days. It would be nice to have some help in person. After working for a bit, you can’t help but lift your face from the screen and dart your eyes around the place. No sign of Seokjin today. Not that it means anything but he’s got the kind of warm, reassuring smile that you could use these days.

And just like clockwork, the quiet bell dings when he walks through the café’s front door. He meets your eye immediately and gives you a small nod and the smile you were searching for. You nod back, eyes going back down to the laptop before you take another peak towards Seokjin. He’s walked up to the counter, talking with the young girl that’s always here. After a moment she hands him a box of what you assume are desserts. Maybe he’s giving them to the elderly again.

Then he walks out.

Oh, he isn’t staying today.

That’s okay, you don’t have time to chat with a harmless nice guy anyway. You have work to do. Something to truly get your mind off of everything else you’ve been going through. You think it’s a miracle you have it in you to try every day. In another universe, you might have already gone insane.

After working a little while longer, you pack your things up and head to your car. It’s a sunny day, barely any clouds in the sky and it feels warm. Warm enough to make you forget this coldness that lingers all around you, all inside you.

You start driving home when you remember you’re supposed to pick up a few groceries so you stop by the market first. It’s not too crowded and since you’re in an okay mood, you decide to put in your earphones and walk inside with a pep to your step. You needed zucchini…what else? Bread for sure was on your list. Peanut butter, eggs, oh yeah and some chips for when you get a craving.

You start heading to the aisle with peanut butter when you recognize someone familiar.

“Seokjin?” You mumble his name but he doesn’t hear you. His eyes fully focused on his jams. He stands here, deep in thought before he finally reaches for one.

“Hi.” You say a little louder and he jumps in his spot.

He turns to face you, ears turning red when he sees you. “Hi.” He stares at you dumbfounded for a moment, “I just realized I don’t know your name.” Then he chuckles.

You can’t help but crack a smile, “It’s y/n.”

“Ah, y/n. Yeah, that suits you.” He tells you confidently.

“Does it?”

“Do you usually shop here?” Seokjin gestures around the aisle, “I’ve never seen you before. Or are you…” He suddenly drops his smile and looks serious. “Following me?” Then he breaks into a huge smile before adding, “Dun, dun, duuuun.”

You feel your stomach swirl with something before you shake your head, feeling embarrassed. “No, no! I live around here actually. This is just a coincidence.”

“A coincidence, huh? A lot of those lately.” He gives you another smile, this time more teasing. “We should just meet on purpose, you know.”

You stand here, taken aback by his words. Is he implying meeting intentionally?

He seems to feel your shift. “Unless, unless…” His eyes avert yours now, his ears turning a deeper shade of red. “Sorry. Unless you don’t want to. Maybe you’re already seeing someone.”

You shake your head quickly, “No. I’m…I’m not.” You’re not but it feels wrong to say it. “But I wasn’t assuming…anything. Like, if you were implying a date or something.”

Seokjin pouts his lips before glancing up at the ceiling, “Why not? You would have been right.”

You blink at him, taken aback again. “Oh.”

“I happen to know a pretty great restaurant. Maybe we can not coincidentally meet there?”

He’s…asking you out.

And it pains you because… “I can’t. Sorry,” You look down at your feet before glancing towards the jams. “Umm, I’m kind of going through something and—”

“—Oh.” Seokjin nods his head quickly. “No, no. I understand…you don’t have to explain. I’m kind of going through something too and I know that a good way to get through it is some nice company every now and then.” He gives you a warm smile, all the teasing gone. “I understand you though. So don’t worry but…” He suddenly pats his pants pockets before looking delighted. “In case you change your mind…I’m learning to…how do they kids say…shoot my shot.” He suddenly pulls out a receipt and a pen and scribbles something on it before handing it to you.

His number.

“Just in case!” He cheeses harder.

“I honestly don’t think it’s a big deal.” Misuk looks at you through the camera, her face looking brighter. “It’s just a date!”

“It is a big deal.” You whine again, “I’m in love with someone else and I have a whole lot of mess going on.”

Subin nods her head sympathetically, “That’s true. But I think Misuk means it’s not a big deal because it could be…” She pauses, clearly thinking of the right words. It’s amusing to you to see they might agree on this. “A good thing? A simple thing! A little, you know, fun thing!”

“Exactly!” Misuk drags out the word, “You don’t have to fall in love but you’re so focused on…you know, your memories…that you aren’t living life.”

“Uh,” You begin to defend yourself, “I’m—”

“—Yes, yes.” Misuk waves you off, “You are getting back into work! And that’s good! But you really should start living a normal life again.”

“And…” Subin looks off camera, her eyes looking softer. “It’s kind of the same. You are missing your memories, yes, and I’m so sorry…but 33 year old you was the same. Divorced. And I don’t think you were in any headspace to even think about wanting Jungkook back.” She finishes quietly.

“You wanted nothing to do with him.” Misuk tells you. “So just live a little…you know, just normal things. And who knows, it might help with your memories.”

You sit still for a moment. You’ll admit that you haven’t exactly been living normally. You mostly sit around all day, alone, surrounding yourself with things you don’t understand and torture yourself with memories of Jungkook.

“Anyway, I’ll let you guys know if anything changes.” You chuckle after you focus your eyes on your friends again. “I just got home so I gotta put these groceries ...away" Your eye notices the list lying on the counter and you realize..."Damn, and I forgot the eggs. Anyway, I’ll call later!” You sing out.

“Okay! Bye!”

“Bye!” Subin sings back. And you end the call.

Maybe they’re right. Maybe you deserve a little break or something simple and fun. You bite your lip, thoughts still lingering but you decide to reach into your back pocket and pull out the receipt Seokjin gave you. You shake your head quickly but reach for your phone and input the number and press call. You need light in this darkness.

You hate feeling defeated.

Sitting on your sofa, blanket wrapped tightly around you as your hand clenches around this cold, empty and useless device.

The phone has either never been used or was completely wiped. You thought you could torture yourself with more information but you’ve come out of this empty handed. There’s nothing on here. No call history, no text history, no pictures or videos…nothing. You squeeze the phone harder, frustration still building. When your actual phone buzzes.

Your eyes shoot down to your now lit up phone and you drop the useless one to the couch cushion. It might be Subin gushing about this band she’s seeing this weekend. You’ll ignore—

Buzz.

You give in, reaching for your phone and your stomach does its usual uneasy swirling.

Jungkook 9:10pm

How are you feeling?

Jungkook 9:10pm

We don’t have to talk but at least tell me how youre doing…

Your eyes slam shut, the urge to cry too strong. Because you’re hurt. You’re hurting. You’re confused. You’re angry. And you’re sad.

Why are you so weak? You should delete him, block him and throw your whole phone away. Because your phone knows him and you don’t.

But you’re weak because you’re going to text back.

Except Jungkook beats you to it.

Jungkook 9:13pm

Did you get hit with a headache earlier? You okay? Have you seen your doctor lately?

All these questions are giving you different kind of headache.

You 9:13pm

Its fine, Im fine

You lie

Jungkook 9:13pm

Liar

You 9:14pm

Jungkook

You 9:14pm

Do you have a drinking problem?

You press send. You see the bubbles pop up your screen, indicating that he’s typing but they disappear. Then they reappear. And disappear again.

You 9:16pm

Jungkook?

Jungkook 9:16pm

Who told you that?

You feel your shoulders tense.

You 9:16pm

No one told me

You 9:17pm

I just remember when I went to your place…there was a lot of alcohol lying around and the place seemed rough

You 9:17pm

And idk I got thinking. Im not trying to accuse you or anything but…is what I saw…what I think it is?

You send. It’s not a total lie. Not what you’re referring to…but not a total lie.

You stare at the screen but there’s no indication if he’s read your message or not. No typing. Nothing. Your eyes glance at the clock and it reads 9:19pm now. It’s okay. Only two minutes. But why does it feel like eternity?

9:25pm and all you’ve done is sit, tightly wrapped in a blanket on your couch, and stare at your phone screen, touching the screen every time it times out. And still nothing.

But then you see bubbles pop up.

Back straightening, you breathe in and out as your eyes remain on the screen.

He’s been typing for three minutes.

You hold your breath now.

Jungkook 9:28pm

And if it is?

You let out a short breath, disbelief crawling all over your skin that you throw the blanket off of you and stand from the couch. Your memories are reliable.

You feel a sting pierce your eyes but you grit your teeth and hold any tears back. This is just too much for you to accept. You walk into the kitchen, frustration raging inside your body. You step up to the sink, hands gripping the edge of the counter before leaning forward, sighing out your anger.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Calming down, you immediately grab a bowl and sniffle to yourself. You’ll just do these dishes and forget all about this.

You take another bowl, the hot water burning your fingers and palms as you absentmindedly scrub it clean.

“Sometimes I think you wash clean dishes at this point.” Jungkook wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you into his chest.

You laugh, “Not true.”

“The water is too hot, baby.” He nuzzles his face into your neck, suddenly pecking it softly. “You’re going to melt the skin off your bones.”

You realize he’s right, the water is really hot but you were just lost in thought. Your wedding is in two days. You get out of your thoughts while you set the bowl back into the sink and turn the faucet off. “I’m just—”

“I know.” Jungkook nuzzles his nose into your warm skin. “I can’t believe you’re the one who’s nervous between us.”

You sigh, small smile on your face. “I’m not nervous. But I am, a little.”

“I know.”

“Not in a bad way.”

“I know that too.”

“In a…marrying the love of my life, wow life is crazy kind of way.” You dry your hands before twisting in Jungkook’s embrace and you lean in to kiss him. “You probably know what I mean.”

He laughs against your lips, “I would be the one who knows exactly what you mean.”

Your lips twist into a sheepish smile, “I missed you today.”

“I missed you more.”

You roll your eyes, a teasing smile forming now. “Liar.”

He looks surprised for a second before rolling his own eyes, “I’m serious.”

“You’re only serious about work nowadays.” You tease him, and you are mostly teasing. It’s only lately he’s been zeroed in on a case.

But Jungkook frowns, “It isn’t going well.” He admits to you. “I don’t know that we’ll get this one.”

“You will.” You lean forward more and nudge your nose against his, “You are the best there is.”

Jungkook chuckles, “Unfortunately I’m still in the ‘proving myself’ phase.”

“Here too.” You continue to tease him, “Still deciding if this wedding is happ—”

“—Heeeeey, don’t joke like that.” Jungkook nudges his nose against yours now, “Tell me I’m the best here too.”

Your hands trail down his chest, eyes focusing on his. “You are.”

“I wish Jimin would tell me that too.” He laughs a little but you know he’s serious. You take his hands in yours.

“You guys are new at being partners. Give it time, babe.”

“He hates me.” Jungkook sighs, “He thinks I mess everything up. And honestly, I can’t blow this one, y/n. The captain believes in me, which is good but my own partner doubts me.”

You understand this is hard for Jungkook to accept.

“Listen…” You give his hands a squeeze. “This is your first big one, right? Take it slow and I know you won’t get flustered like the last one.”

He immediately drops his hands from yours, “I can’t get like how I was with the last one.” Jungkook takes a step away from you, “This one is way too serious…the men I’m dealing with, y/n…you have no idea. I can’t mess this up.”

“Baby…” You feel bad for bringing up the last case he took with Jimin. He got too involved emotionally and when things didn’t end up well for the victim…”It’s okay. You have me to talk about this with and—”

“—But I don’t. I’m legally not allowed to. I got in trouble with sharing so much last time and…fuck,” Jungkook pauses. Closes his eyes slowly before taking a step forward and reaching for your hands again. “This is not what we need to be talking about right before our wedding. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” You give his hands another squeeze. “We share our lives. With or without marriage, right?”

“I only wanna talk about us.” He breathes out softly, his lips inching closer to yours. “Let’s focus on you and me.”

And your skin is burning again. It’s on fire. Too much fire, it hurts.

And that’s when you realize you’re still here at your kitchen sink, hot lava rushing to your skin, burning you as you hold the bowl you were cleaning.

You take a deep breath, taking a step back from the sink when you slam your eyes shut and let out a loud groan. You don’t even flinch when the sound of glass hits the floor because you’ve thrown the bowl. You don’t care.

Another memory.

And it seems they’re all out of order.

Another bead of sweat dribbles down the side of Jungkook’s face, rolling right off his skin. And another miserable night. He gently throws his head back against the bathroom wall, his hairline drenched from hour two of hurling in the toilet. He’s drank too much again. Maybe some bad food poisoning in there. But even still, he knows he’s drank too much.

He isn’t abusing the alcohol, really. Not lately. But he knows what it can do to him. He hates it. He hates himself.

He hates this existence.

Jungkook squeezes his eyes shut before he groans to himself, knocking his head back a few more times. What is he doing?

He misses you.

He wants to make things right.

How?

Jungkook wipes his mouth with the back of his hand before trying to stand from the floor. He’s wobbly but he manages. He’s tired and he isn’t sleeping and he can’t because he knows you’re not. This is how he feels like he’s with you, the only real support he can give.

He looks at himself in the mirror, his tired eyes staring back at him. He wants to tell that guy to fuck off, for some reason. He wants to scoff at him and offer him no sympathy. Jungkook wants to raise his hands to that man’s throat and squeeze. He wants to swear at him and curse him. His mouth twists and his eyes grow teary and he sighs. Because all he can do is cry for him.

His head snaps up when the bathroom counter vibrates from his phone. Someone’s texted.

Unknown Number

Its me

Buzz.

Unknown Number

We need to talk

#bts #jeon jungkook #jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #bts angst #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #bts fanfic #jungkooks fics #Kim Namjoon #Kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #Kim taehyung #our time chapter 7

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changbinsboiledegg · 4 months

Note

skz with a very needy!sub??? 👀

btw your so cool i could give you a big smooch on the cheeks please never stop being cool

Thank you for thinking I am cool. What are we?

GN? Reader X SKZ

(Tried to keep some terms general, if that makes sense. No specific body parts were mentioned except for, yk, d1ck.)

MDNI!!!!!!!!

Warning: Dom x Needy Sub dynamic?, swearing, usage of vulgar language, teasing, some are hard doms, some are soft, usage of seggs toys, semi-public seggs mention, smut (only a little), protected or unprotected seggs— that’s up to you. Lol.

Note: I’m so sorry this is late, it’s been a shit month (year). I’ll learn to spell s*x properly when I’m rich. Until then, it’s SEGGS. (Joking) But regardless, here you go lovely. As always, if no one has told you, Ilyyyy 🫶🫶 If you see any typos, please bypass them I'm sorry.

♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎

Chan

He doesn’t give in easily when you’re very needy. Surely you’re aware of this by now.

But that doesn’t stop you from trying everything under the sun to turn him on and need you just as much as you needed him.

“Please!” You begged, literally on your knees in front of him. He just looked down at you, unphased.

“Please what?” His gaze held you captive.

“Please…” you couldn’t finish that sentence, you brain turning to mush. You mentally cursed, hating that he made you nervous after you so confidently stripped in front of him slowly.

“Come on. Can’t fuck you if you don’t know what you want.” Chan stood firm on his role as your dom.

“Please fuck me.” You finally mustered out, meeting his gaze. Chan smirked.

“Well, since you asked so nicely.”

Lee Know

Minho knew you were needy when it came to sex, but he specifically knew when you were needy.

He always knew what to do to make your neediness increase. He loved seeing you get so turned on.

Of course, he wasn’t evil. He always gave you the satisfaction you wanted, however, he definitely was going to play with you first.

You squirmed in your seat, trying to control your breathing as Minho remotely controlled the vibrator inside of you. He continuously changed modes, either sending you close to the edge or fueling your need for more.

“Had enough yet?” Minho asked. It was clear that he enjoyed teasing you. You whimpered as the vibrations send shivers through your body.

“I want you!” Your tone a pleading one. Minho took in the sight of you for a moment— a complete mess for him by him.

“I guess you’ve earned it. Come here.”

Changbin

When you were needy, Changbin didn’t waste a second. He wanted to give you what you wanted while still being in control.

You came to him, being extra clingy, knowing the second Changbin became just as touchy with you, he would make you feel so good that you would have trouble remembering your name for the minutes that followed.

You started out slow, mindlessly playing with his hand before it ended up resting on your thigh. Then slowly, he’d find himself sliding it towards your inner thigh, gripping and squeezing the flesh under.

Then he’d feel the result of your neediness and within a few seconds, he’s inside of you, taking you hard to satisfy your neediness.

At least in that moment, that is.

Hyunjin

He’s used to your neediness by now and even enjoys the fact that he’s able to turn you on without having to do anything.

He loves seeing the way you react to his actions, no matter how simple. Hyunjin doesn’t like making you wait, though.

One minute he’s running his fingers through his hair, the next he has you bent over and taking him so well, you forgot about everything troubling you.

“Hnng! Hyun-Hyunjin!” You felt his hand clasp over your mouth as he took you harder— faster.

“Shh, don’t want the others to hear you cum, right?” He whispered sharply close to your ear. You shook your head, but in the back of your mind, you thought about how you wouldn’t mind anyone else hearing how good he’s making you feel.

Han

“Can we sneak to the bathroom or somewhere private?” You asked Jisung, feeling particularly needy that day. Turns out you tend to feel needy at the wrong times.

“Why? What happened?” Jisung was oblivious at first, showing genuine concern. He thought you were having a good time at this party, and you were, but you wanted a different kind if fun.

“It concerns your dick.” You whispered, feigning innocence for the partygoers around you two. By the look on his face, he seemed just as needy to be inside of you in some way.

“Okay, I see now…” he immediately looked towards the nearest bathroom. “What if someone hears—“

As soon as you caught his gaze, you pulled him towards the bathroom. Jisung chuckled, “you know I’m in control, right?”

“This isn’t about control,” you shut the door and locked it, then immediately lowered to your knees. “It’s about need. And I need you now.”

Felix

You’d begged all day, the need for him to touch you in any way that he could was gnawing at you.

And still, Felix continued to tease you, making you beg more just for begging in the first place.

“Felix, please. I’m going to die if you don’t—“

Felix drowned your next words out by crashing his lips onto yours, his hand cupping your jaw just enough to keep your head in place, but not to hurt you.

“Tell me, darling. What is it you want exactly?” Felix’s breathy voice filled your ears once his lips departed yours.

“I need you. Whether it’s inside of me or-or…” you were trembling. Not from fear, but from the aching feeling between your legs. Felix kissed you again, softer this time.

“Lay back. I think you’ve earned it now.”

Seungmin

“No.” Seungmin said, not wavering in his response to your neediness. He knew you’ve been in a constant state of arousal since the event started but he wasn’t about to cut it short just to give in to your desires— or his, for that matter.

You felt a wave of disappointment but understood. You just wished he would do something immediately.

Seungmin looked over at you and discreetly placed his hand on your thigh underneath the table you two were sat at.

“Don’t look so sad. I’ll reward you when we get home.” He winked before gently squeezing your thigh, leaving shivers of need running up and down your body.

“Can you hold out for another hour?” He added in a low whisper, “or are you going to be impatient like last time?”

You wanted so badly to answer ‘yes’ to the second question, knowing your release would be delayed, but at least he’d start immediately.

But your patience always earned you the best orgasms. Fuck. You had to think carefully, and Seungmin was awaiting your response with a half raised eyebrow.

“I can hold out.”

Seungmin smirked, “good.”

I.N

Jeongin was never one to make you wait or delay your release whenever you were particularly needy for him.

Sometimes you wondered who was the dom and who was the sub.

of course, when you two were alone, you were reminded of your role as he filled you up while his hands tightly gripped your wrists, pinning you down into the mattress.

Even as he pounded into you, your body feeling the shocks of relief from the pent up tension between you two, you still felt needy for him.

“Ohmygod—“ you gasped, leading into a wordless cry of pleasure as you felt that familiar knot building up in your stomach.

“You’re so cute. You act like this is the first time I’ve fucked you like this.” Jeongin grunted, his pace unrelenting.

You knew by now that you were in for a long night.

#stray kids smut #skz smut #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids reactions #skz reactions #skz scenarios

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letstalkaboutshtufff · 29 days

Text

In another life pt 2

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x Reader

Summary: A visit to Nanami and trip down memory lane

Warnings: Language and suggestive themes but only a bit lol

Part 3

****************************************************

A/N: was so overwhelmed by the amount of love I received for part one!! Thank you all so much for the support😭🩵

“This is definitely a first” Nanamis gaze travelled up and down your body.

You shuffled uncomfortably from your place on the couch. Gojo stood leaning on the wall behind you.

“Yeah I’ve been hearing that a lot today..” you sighed.

“Hmm, well from what I know. This curse has been known to travel through dimensions, which is why he’s been so hard to catch in the past. He disappeared several years ago after somehow escaping from a seal. Looks like he ended up in your universe.”

“That makes sense, it was only a couple years ago he appeared and Satoru subdued him. A couple months ago he told me he found some weird residual energy on the seal but otherwise everything was ok… I guess the theory of the spy was correct but…” you brought a hand to your chin.

“Go on” he encouraged.

“We placed three seals on them. There’s no way an amateur broke through them… I wonder if he has any clue on who it could be...”

BZZT BZZT BZZT

“Another call?” Gojo tilted his head forward.

You picked up the phone and read “Weird Bangs” well speak of the devil!

“Nope just a text.”

-Hey you ok? Satoru just told me what happened. Don’t worry, we’re investigating as we speak. We’ll have you home in no time.

You smiled warmly and replied,

-Thanks Sugu, I have complete faith in you two. And don’t worry I’m ok.

“Anything important?”

“Not really, Sugu was just checking in. By the way, is he on a mission or something? I haven’t sensed your version of him yet. Unless you don’t have a version of him which would be honestly so weird since I swear you two are like your own couple..”

Little did you know the room had gone from warm to freezing cold.

“What did you just say…”

“Huh?” You tensed seeing the mood was a bit off now.

“Wait…don’t tell me he’s…dead?” Instant dread washed over you.

“No..he’s very much alive…” (excuse me while I change the timeline a little)

“Then what’s-“ you tilted your head.

“Nanami, what can you tell us about the curse transporting other people?”

You blinked at his sudden change in topic.

“Honestly nothing.” Your shoulders slumped.

“Really?”

“Yes but I promise I’ll do everything in my power to ensure you get home safely”.

“Thanks Nanami…” you tried not to feel to sad, after all you had so many people working hard to figure it out.

“Well it’s getting late, why don’t we continue this tommorow, Nanami you’ll reach out if you find anything yeah?”

He nodded, “I’ll dig into some of the old archives, and let you know what I find.”

“Thank you Nanami” you smiled and followed gojo out of the room.

“So what now?” The sun had set and you realized that for the first time in years you were not going to sleep in your own bed, cuddled next to your husband.

“Well… I could take you to one of the spare dorms here but considering the curse is still out there I think it’s best if you stick with me”

“So back to your place?” Haha that takes you back.

“That ok with you?”

“Mhmm” not like I’m used to anything else but being with you…

“Ok then, hang on” he touched your shoulder and suddenly you were transported to a place that smelled like fresh linen and his cologne.

“Oh wow this takes me back” you flicked on the light and took in the old place.

Gojo raised a brow that you seemed to know your way around.

“I take it you’ve been here before?”

You nodded fondly while taking in the place once again, “yeah, we spent so much time here back while we were dating…I lived in a really crappy apartment that you had to bend down in.” You laugh at the memory.

You turn to look out the floorlength window and promptly scream.

“AHH is that me!?!? Have I looked like this all day!?!” You could barely see your skin it was covered in dirt and grime from the previous fight and your hair was basically inviting birds to make it their home.

“I need to shower…” ah crap I didn’t think to stop and get clothes.

“I’ll find you some clothes… the shower is over the-“ but you were already beelining towards the bathroom eagerly to wash the filth off of you.

“Right you already know… so weird” he crossed his arms.

The second the steaming water hit your body you sighed in relief. It took a good 15 minutes for the water to run clear.

Using his body wash sure took you back to the days you’d sleep over. Those days were some of the best of your life. Watching movies late into the night, eating junk food, making out, falling asleep tangled together…

You shut your eyes before the tears could come.

No, none of that, you had the best and strongest people on the case. You’d be home soon, so let’s think of this as a weird mini vacation.

After your shower you dried yourself off and peeked into the bedroom where the door connected to. Sure enough you found a set of his pjs on the bed.

His shirt engulfed you, looking more like a dress. You thought for a moment to forgo the pants but realized you probably shouldn’t go pantless and underwearless around new Gojo.

Once you were decent you stepped outside into the main living space.

A delicious aroma immediately invaded your senses.

Wait… no fricken way!?

“You cook!?!?”

“Huh?” Gojo paused to look back over his shoulder. “Of course I cook… does your Gojo not?”

“He- he tried once but burnt everything… and anyway I’m home way more so I usually do the cooking..”

“Well I hope you like seafood, I haven’t gone shopping yet so there wasn’t really many options.”

He turned back to the stove to continue stirring.

You sat on one of the counter barstools and watched him in awe.

He even has the towel thrown over his shoulder and everything...

“So tell me about other Gojo. How did you guys meet?”

“Well… actually it’s kind of embarrassing…”

“Oh well now I have to know”

“Well I was jogging by this old elementary school and this curse popped out. It was so cute tho it looked like a super fluffy puppy. And then suddenly you popped in, ready to blast it to smithereens when I jumped in front and defended it….” He paused his stirring and looked over at you again.

“Yeah I know.. it was crazy but the curse really wasn’t that bad. So anyway I picked it up and started running away from you…”

“Pfft seriously?”

“Yeah… you should’ve seen your face haha. I made it about 10 steps before you warped in front of me”

*Flashback*

“Uh listen lady, that thing your holding is very dangerous so it’s best if you-“

“No way!”

“Huh?”

“No way, he’s just a little baby, he hasn’t hurt anyone!” You hugged the curse tight to your body and for some reason the curse seemed… relaxed?

“Lady… it’s a curse.. we can’t exactly just leave it to roam free..”

“Well then….”you thought for a moment..

“I’ll keep it!”

“You’ll keep it…” he repeated to himself in disbelief

“Mhm hm” you nodded.

“Uh…” he watched you snuggle the curse closer and the curse for whatever bizarre reason seemed content.

“It hasn’t hurt anyone has it?”

“Not that I’m aware of..”

“Then it’s settled! I’m keeping him.”

“Uh…”

“Don’t worry, I have some skill in exorcizing curses if anything goes wrong but it won’t will it little cutie?” You rubbed under its chin and it started to purr.

“Ok so you’re serious…uh well here’s my number… in case he decides to turn murdery and you can’t handle him”

You smile and hand him your phone, when he hands it back you glance down and let out a little gasp.

He smirked, you must’ve realized who he was now.

“You have the same screensaver as me! I love that show!!”

“Haha well it is a good show, even if the heroine sucks.”

“What- what did you just say?! She’s the best one!”

“No way, if you ask me the best friend should be in the spotlight.”

“That snobby bitch? No way” you made a face.

“Snobby? I see it as confidence.”

“You must’ve gotten knocked in the head too many times by a curse..”

“Well it doesn’t really matter, I think she’s gonna take that job in the next episode.”

“Wait you think so? As much as I hate her, she makes the story interesting.”

“Yeah I-“ BZZZT BZZZT BZZZT

“Ah sorry hold on”

You watched him turn and take the call. Looking at him now, even without seeing his eyes you could tell he was good looking.

“Sorry, duty calls. Make sure to call me if…that thing suddenly decides to eat you ok?”

“I will, thanks”

He whooshed away and you looked down at your phone.

Satoru Gojo….

Oh my god

No fucking way…

He had the same name as your favorite book character! What a small world…

“Alright cutie, let’s get you home. I wonder what you eat?”

*End flashback*

“Don’t tell me you still have that thing?”

“That thing has a name and his name is cutie. And to this day he hasn’t hurt a fly! Well actually that’s a lie because he does eat all the bugs around the house.. but other than that he’s harmless. He does chew the furniture though..” awe I hope he’s ok..

“You’re a little strange you know that?”

“You’re one to talk..”

“Hey, you shouldn’t insult the hand that feeds you.”

“You’re right sorry chef” you bowed jokingly then went to grab plates to set the table.

“Oh I hope you don’t mind me touching stuff.” You retracted your hand afraid he might get upset.

“Be my guest.” He waved nonchalantly.

Ten minutes later you were sat across each other.

“Oh lemme grab some drinks” he stood up and disappeared into the kitchen again.

You nodded and began plating your dish and his. His having three times the portion like usual.

Gojo came back and sat down with his mouth slightly open.

You realized your mistake and felt heat rise to your cheeks. “S-sorry it- I did that out of habit. Didn’t mean to make you feel weird..”

“It’s fine it’ll just take some getting used to is all…” he smirked and dug in.

“Thank you for the meal.” You twirled your fork around the shrimp and pasta and took a bite.

Oh hell no

“Something wrong?”

“Satoru this is amazing… like really really amazing”

“Glad you like it”

“No but seriously this is so good…Why can’t my version do this??”

You took another bite and swooned, maybe you’d leave your version for this one…

BZZT BZZT BZZT

“Oh it’s you! Well other you..”

“Satoru?”

“Hey babe you doing alright?”

“Yeah, I’m alright… we met with Nanami earlier, he said he’s going to do some more research and let us know if he finds anything..”

“Same here, Suguru and I are tracking the curse down but it’ll take a little bit of time, he’s a slippery one that’s for sure”

“Mm, sorry for putting everyone through this trouble…”

“Don’t worry, I have plenty of ways you can make it up to me later”

“Ah geez I need to stop putting you on speaker..”

“You’re not alone? It’s pretty late..”

“Yeah well other you thought it would be best to keep me close for safety reasons. I’m here at the old penthouse actually.”

“….”

“Toru?”

“You’re with other me?”

You blinked. “Uh yes?“

“Hey other me!”

You tilt the phone closer to this Gojo so he can hear better.

“Uh yes?”

“I know it’s tempting but no canoodling my girl alright?”

“S-satoru!”

“Not even a little touch, I mean it.”

“Satoru what are you talking about?! I just met the guy!”

“And? Do you remember how I was back then?”

“Well...” yeah a manwhore..

“Oh yeah and another word of advice, no girls over to the place. She gets suuuuuuper jealous, one time she even told our pet to attack and-“

“I did not! That was-!-you know that was an accident!”

“Mhmm sure”

“You know cutie feeds off my feelings, I didn’t tell him to bite her arm!”

“Of course sweetheart of course..”

“You- what about that time you hijacked my date!”

“That was purely coincidental, I was in the area.”

“Sure you were…”

“Anywhoooooo, did you take your meds?”

“Y-yeah”

“Liar”

“Hey make sure she gets those pills, she’ll faint without them and I don’t need her falling into anyone else’s arms”

“S-satoru good night already, I’ll talk to you later…”

“Alright sorry, you know I worry. Night baby, don’t feel too lonely without me”

*click*

“Ugh annoying jerk” you words didn’t match your soft tone.

Gojo leaned back in his chair and scanned your form.

Did he? Did a version of him really fall in love and settle down. You were certainly beautiful but he’d been with a lot of beautiful women.. did your strength draw his attention? He supposed he hasn’t seen you fight yet, maybe he would fix that soon..

“Oh uh sorry you had to hear all that again, I hope it’s not too weird”

“Well I’m not gonna lie and say it’s normal but..”

You smiled and brought another forkful to your mouth.

“Thank you for everything, really… you don’t even know me and you’re doing all this..”

“Well hey don’t worry about it, any alter ego/universe me’s wife is a friend of mine”

“Heh thanks” glad to know all Gojos humor are the same across universes.

After dinner you helped clean up and were lounging on the couch while Gojo went to shower.

He wouldn’t mind if you turned on the tv right?

So far this Gojo was 99.8 percent a carbon copy of yours so no he wouldn’t mind.. plus tonight the new episode of “Wishing I was yours” was airing and you couldn’t miss it..

And that’s how Gojo found you 20 minutes later, arms wrapped around your knees cuddling a pillow, tearful eyes glued to the TV screen.

‘No! No you can’t leave me. You can’t give up after everything we’ve been through’

‘Forgive me my love, you’ll have to continue this journey without me…’

‘No! I need you!!’

‘I’m only going to put you in danger… it has to be this way… I’m sorry’

‘Noooooooooooooooo!’

How can she watch this crap…

Gojo made his presence known and stepped in front of the couch.

“Oh hey, I-i hope it was ok that I- ah no don’t go!!” Your focus was quickly redirected back to the gripping scene. You groaned when the credits rolled.

“Dammit you were right about the ending…now I have to do that thing… ugh” you mumbled into the pillow.

Gojo couldn’t help but be curious what that thing was but stayed quiet.

“Don’t tell me that I actually watch this kind of stuff?”

He sat on the other end of the couch watching as you paused the tv and turned towards him.

“Well not at first but we worked out a deal, every week we watch one of my picks and one of your picks… but ugh you always choose the scariest stuff…”

“Better than unrealistic lovey dovey crap…”

“Unrealistic?? Says the one who spouts the most corniest lines 24/7”

The title screen for another episode started playing and he swiftly grabbed the remote.

“Allow me to show you what true cinema is.”

Uh oh, you had a bad feeling about this..

1 hour later

“Ah no way no way no way” Gojo smirked watching how you hid behind a pillow shaking like a leaf.

“Oh come on, it’s not even the scary part yet…”

“Liar! Ew ew ew I accidentally looked again”

“Human snake vs Octogator is a masterpiece , you’re insulting one of the greatest films of all time!”

“You just chose this because you knew it would scare me!”

“Lady I barely know you, is that something I would do?” He smiled, glowing eyes peeking behind his glasses.

“Yes, that is exactly what you would do..”

Well you sure did seem to know him he was realizing more and more…

After the movie you were basically half asleep so Gojo decided to call it a night.

Sleepily you rose up and followed after Gojo to the hallway. But instead of turning right to the guest room you automatically turned left to his room and bumped into his back.

“Huh”

You froze, eyes shooting up to his.

“A-ah s-sorry!” Embarrassed you darted to the guest room and shut the door.

BZZT BZZT BZZT

Hm?

*NEW MESSAGE*

-Since you’re all alone, use this to tide your appetite over xoxo

*image loading*

“Ah-!”

The heat rose to your cheeks immediately.

(I’ll let you imagine what kind of picture he sent lol)

-Don’t send anything back tho ok? Don’t want the creep next door spying on you and catching a glimpse of my pretty girl~”

-he’s in another room obviously..

-wait he wouldn’t look through the walls with his eyes would he??

-would- did you ever do that??

-ah gotta go baby, the line is bad, nighty night!

-We’re texting idiot, what line?! And answer the question!!

-xoxo 💋

Ugh jerk… you threw the phone on the bed then slowly got in the unfamiliar bed.

You hated sleeping alone… even when he was out on overnight missions you were surrounded by his scent, his clothes, his everything…

You grabbed a pillow and snuggled it for comfort.

“I miss you idiot…”

Part 3

***************************************************

Aaaaaaand that’s chapter 2! What did you guys think about Suguru’s mention hehe. The angst boat is coming y’all, but first came a little fluff before the storm. Please lemme know what you thought! Until next time!

@gojosatorulover7 @goaway-plzz @goldenglow149 @taakt17 @kneesheee @yumii-34 @ritsatoru @generalstephkenobi @author20 @bitchycloudstrawberry @hojoslutoru

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uwurakax · 3 months

Text

-> HQ AS TAYLOR SWIFT LYRICS +

summary just the vibes of t.swift songs/lyrics and who (i think) match with the haikyuu guys ♡

-> i srsly missed them sm omg, clownin (also im rusty pls cri), maybe one day we'll write more on t.s songs bc dang she's killin it rn

(also edit bc i just came back to check this again before posting but, i thought it was fitting bc ya girl got eras tour tickets!)

(( edit two - you can see from above when i started working on this, came back and came back again rn, bc sis is making friendship bracelets rn for next month aa! and i got inspired by this lol - i also just have impeccable taste ))

featuring kageyama || oikawa || akaashi || kenma || atsumu ♡

+ i got other stuff ready to post promise, i just needed this out there +

KING OF MY HEART

"and we rule the kingdom inside my room, 'cause all the boys and their expensive cars... never took me quite where you do and all at once you are the one i have been waiting for, king of my heart, body and soul"

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

it's not easy moving on. you'd been scorned before, and had your heart broken. it wasn't a secret to know you'd been on guard, had your heart under lock and key. created a tall, ivory tower that you made sure no one else would think of scaling. that was before you mer him. it was implausibly easy. how everything fell into place when you were just within his vicinity. maybe being hurt wasn't so bad, because if you didn't face them, they wouldn't have led you to him, here and now. he wasn't just the king of the court anymore, another invisible crown bestowed onto him as he climbed; holding the key to you.

- kageyama ♡

LOVER

"i take this magnetic force of a man to be my... my hearts been borrowed and yours has been blue, alls well that ends well to end up with you, swear to be overdramatic and true to my... lover"

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

you knew he was a star, anyone with eyes could see. he was destined for great things, and you were a planet following, orbiting around his sun. you'd always follow, for as long as he wanted. your greatest pleasure though was with the mundane. you'd take the stardom, the fame... but you lived for the monotonous. where it was just you and him. you hoped it would last forever. hand in hand, nothing would stop you. whether it was cheering for him on the sidelines, or laying beside him at night, you'd love him for eternity.

- oikawa ♡

GORGEOUS

"ocean blue eyes, looking in mine, i feel like i might sink and drown and die, you're so gorgeous i can't say anything to your face, cause look at your face; gorgeous"

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

starstruck, awestruck, wonderstruck. any and every 'struck' you could think of, and thats the feelings that grew the moment you locked eyes on him. it was such a cliche, a crowded room with a bunch of other bodies, and yet you seemed to naturally gravitate towards him. love at first sight. a concept so wildly unbelievable and yet so captivating, that the most famous love story revolved around it. yet here you were, stunned into silence, because this was what you were experiencing now. completely out of your comfort zone, never had anyone ever made you feel like this before; but what could you say? he's gorgeous.

- akaashi ♡

YOU BELONG WITH ME

"i'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're about to cry, i know your favourite songs and you tell me about your dreams, think i know where you belong, think i know it's with me"

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

it's not easy being in love with your best friend. you knew practically everything about him. so why was he with her when you were always in his corner from the beginning? the late night gaming sessions and text messages. she just wasn't good for him. she didn't understand him like you did, and his calls and conversations all but proved how much better you could be for him. so why? you didn't need to ponder long, because soon enough he was at your doorstep late into the night, confessing how it was a mistake, how he ended things with her and if he could come inside to talk.

- kenma ♡

CRUEL SUMMER

"and i snuck in through the garden gate, every night that summer just to seal my fate, and i scream for whatever it's worth 'i love you! aint that the worst thing you ever heard?' he looks up grinning like a devil"

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

you had heard about him. heard about how he wasn't good enough for you, and that you shouldn't get involved. you never were a good listener, and soon enough you became involved with him. despite the little voice in your head telling you to let go, you couldn't. it wasn't supposed to be forever, and you were okay with that. initially anyway. catching feelings for something that would end in disaster... but you couldn't end it. not yet. just how deep did you dive into whatever this was? you couldn't pinpoint when it went south, but did that matter? you were too far gone. the anticipation grew the longer this lasted, and in a bout of stress, you blurted out your confession. not your finest moment, and you were sure he'd shun you for good. turn his back on you and walk away, leaving you to mend your broken heart. he didn't though. he just stood there, with his stupid smirk that made you fall for him to begin with, confessing the same words you all but screamed at him moments ago.

- atsumu ♡

#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #hq!! x reader #atsumu x reader #atsumu x you #oikawa x reader #oikawa x you #kageyama x you #kageyama x reader #akaashi x reader #akaashi x you #kenma x reader #kenma x you #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu drabbles #hq imagines #hq drabble #you can even tell its older bc its black for my previous theme lolol

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0oxalieno0 · 5 months

Text

Drunken Nights (Hobie Brown x Reader)

Gender neutral reader

Word count: 2.1k

Sum: Hobie takes care of you after a long night out. Liquid courage reveals some hidden feelings. Reader has anxiety (Reader is a jumper (of conclusions :)) Fluff. Also, everyone is 18+ in this scenario. Some nakedness is involved but nothing crazy. Hobie is a big acts of service guy <3. Also, reader is a sweet, sweet summer child.

You were nervous, to say the least.

As you stood in line, waiting to get into the venue, you couldn’t help the racing thoughts that filled your head. Sure, you and Hobie had been seeing each other for a couple months now, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that your surprise appearance at his gig might be a bit too intimate for what was, initially, supposed to be a casual hook-up.

Coming out here, and seeing him perform in a crowd with his friends, felt like a step towards uncharted territory.

With a quick glance at your ID and a nod from the bouncer, you make a quick beeline to the bar. You order and chug your drink in quick succession, trying to calm your nerves and the spiral your mind seems determined to take you on. As you get started on your second drink, a pair of bright red Jordans comes into view.

“Sick shoes” you comment. Normally you would keep to yourself, but it seems your mouth and the double-shot vodka cran you just drank, have other plans.

“Thanks” the boy replies. Getting a better look at him he barely looks 18, and by the way his gaze darts around the room nervously, seems to feel just as out of place.

‘Welp’ you think while taking a sip ‘might as well keep the conversation goin’

“So, what are you here for? The booze? The people?”. Looking out into the hoard of heavily tattooed and pierced bodies and back to the boy in what seems to be… a school uniform? with red and black gloves?

“Though, I’m gonna take a wild guess and say that you’re not in it for the crowd”

The boy glances down at his outfit, then back up at you, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. “Actually, I’m here to see the band playing tonight, but I got caught up with a ro-“ he startles as if saying something he shouldn’t have “I mean studying, that I forgot to change”

“Really?” You fix him with a surprised expression “Wouldn’t have taken you for the punk rock type, you a fan or something?”

The boy smiles to himself “Yeah, I guess you could say that”

“Well, the name’s Y/N” You hold out your hand to shake “and you? Fanboy”

“Miles,” he says sliding his hand into yours “Miles Morales”

**(the cutoff word is robbery) Also Miles is wearing black and red gloves cus he forgot to change out of his suit, oh miles, lol**

Just as you down your second drink and turn to the bartender to get a third for you and your new best friend, ear-splitting microphone feedback fills the room.

“Hello, hello, hello” the speaker on the mic calls out.

You’d recognize that voice anywhere. With your third drink in hand, you turn and look up to see Hobie Brown, looking unbelievably gorgeous under the bright spotlights. “The name’s ‘Obie, ‘Obie Brown and this is my crew” he waves a ringed finger at the musicians behind him “we call ourselves, Eradication!”

The crowd erupts into cheers and you swear you see a few girls swooning in Hobie’s direction. You take a deep swig from your glass, this, is going to be a looong night.

And with that, the band begins throwing themselves into the music. Everyone is amazing, especially the pink-haired drummer in the back, but nothing, or rather no one could compare to Hobie. Sure, he sounded amazing in the confines of your bedroom, but the stage was where he truly belonged. For the next few songs, you can barely take your eyes off him as he seems completely enraptured in a complicated guitar solo, sweat dripping off his forehead in a show of pure concentration. His piercings glint in the light as he head bangs and dances around, absolutely commanding the stage. He is, truly, mesmerizing to watch.

A nudge at your side breaks your rapt attention, and you turn to see Miles half-smirking at you.

“Someone’s got a little crush”

You scoff, trying to brush it off, but say nothing. He truly had no idea. God knows the alcohol has gotten you loose-lipped already and you don’t want to risk revealing more to Miles than he needs to know. Even with your silence, Miles seems to take this as a silent acknowledgment and chuckles at your blushing face, turning his attention back to the show.

By now the night is winding down and more often you notice the chemistry between Hobie and the drummer, as they jam out and steal winks and smiles at each other in-between songs.

Maybe it was a bad idea to come here. You take a look at your half-finished glass and begin throwing the rest of it back, because 1. Mama didn’t raise no quitters and 2. You weren’t about to let any of your 12$ investment go down the drain.

In the time it takes for you to finish and start paying off your tab at the counter, the band has already stopped playing.

“Thank you, thank you everyone. We hope you’ve enjoyed the show, Eradication out!” A final wave of cheers is heard from the audience, as the band jumps off the stage before they circle the band in a sort of meet-and-greet fashion.

Now! Now’s your chance to escape! Before you can even begin making your way towards the exit, a hand grabs your wrist and pulls you through the crowd.

“Hey, Hobie!” Miles greets “This is Y/N, they’re your biggest fan” he teases.

“Y/N?” a low voice questions.

You turn, maybe a bit too quickly, and stumble right into the arms of the person you were trying to escape. Maybe that third drink was a bit overkill. You steady, then look up to see Hobie’s lips curved up in a curious smile.

“Hey” you say shyly, your face heating up, but you’d sooner blame it on the alcohol than on the effect he has over you.

“Hey” he echos back. “I didn’t know you were coming, no calls or texts” he lifts his phone in mock hurt.

“I was trying to surprise you” you whisper, unable to meet his warm eyes.

“Well, you are without a doubt, the prettiest surprise I’ve ever received”.

And without breaking his gaze, he lifts your hand and places a soft kiss against your knuckles. Your heart stalls before remembering to beat. Hobart-fucking-Brown would surely be the death of you.

And with that, Hobie places a gentle hand around your waist and turns to introduce you to the rest of the team. There’s Fish on bass, Cedric on the keys, and finally the very talented Gwen on drums. Absolutely nothing can prepare you for the tight embrace Gwen wraps you in once the two of you are introduced.

“Oh my gosh, you’re the Y/N!!!” She squeals, giving you a wide smile and squeezing you even tighter than you ever thought possible.

“It is so good to finally meet you! Hobie talks about you all the time” she rambles “In fact, I just caught him grinning at his phone the other day, over a pic of the two of you. And sometimes I even catch him mumbling your name in his sleep after practice. It’s honestly too cute, he really is in-“

“Okayyy” Hobie interjects, cutting her off “that’s enough out of you Gwendy”

“Oops” Gwen snorts “sorry bout that, I can get a little carried away sometimes”

You turn to grin at Hobie, half-whispering “I like her honesty”. Hobie just shuts his eyes, shaking head in utter disbelief.

The rest of the night goes without a hitch. You all do a round of shots together (which might be a bad idea, but fuck it). You and Gwen bond over female rock bands and tease Miles over his obsession with action figures. And Hobie holds your hand the entire time, looking at you fondly as you become one of the crew.

As you stifle a yawn, Hobie begins to stand, picking you up along with him.

“I think that’s our cue” he says, holding out your jacket for you to shrug on “I’ve got to get this one home, you got a place to stay tonight Gwen?”

“Yea, I’m gonna crash at Mile’s tonight so you two go on ahead”

You think it’s odd of Hobie to ask where Gwen’s staying, but you’re honestly too bleary-eyed and buzzed to question it further.

“Bye everyone” you wave tiredly.

“Bye Y/N! Bye Hobie!” they echo back.

Then the two of you are out the door. At nearly 2am the streets of London are quiet and the two of you walk in comfortable silence, hand in hand. It isn’t till you hear water splashing and gulls overhead, that you realize you aren’t heading towards your apartment at all.

“Where are we?”

Hobie guides you carefully down a set of creaky wooden stairs, down to the docks, and finally stops at a giant canal boat.

“This” he gestures, waving an arm outward “is my home”

But Hobie never brings you back to his place. It’s always yours, that you end up spending the night at. As you look on at the ship in slight awe, Hobie wraps his hands around your waist, and lowers you down onto the deck, before jumping down next to you. As he leads you through the boat you realize it really is a full-on floating house. There’s a kitchen, some twin guest beds, a couch with a TV, and finally, you end up in the master suite, Hobie’s room.

It’s so him, from the guitars lined up against the wall, to a god save the Queen poster, and even a funny spider doodle on some of the walls, everywhere you look, there he is. As you marvel at the museum that is Hobie Brown’s room, he unzips your jacket and begins to make quick work on your button-up.

“What are you doing?”

He cocks an eyebrow your way but doesn’t show any signs of stopping as he reaches for the zipper at your waistband.

“Getting you, ready for bed” his eyes linger slightly as he helps you shed your clothes, but it isn’t the same one of hunger you usually find when you’re in this situation, instead it’s one of pure affection. After the two of you undress, he leads you to the bathroom.

“You have a shower on this damn thing?!”

He gives you an incredulous look “Do you think I’m some sort of heathen? Of course, there’s a bloody shower”

It’s a tight squeeze, but the two of you manage to fit comfortably pressed up against one another under the shower head. As the warm water heats you up from the cold London night, Hobie takes a bit of shampoo and begins rubbing it into your scalp, making funny shapes with your lathered up hair. Each of you take turns with the conditioner until finally you step back out into Hobie’s room, all toasty and clean.

As you detangle your hair with a hot pink hairbrush you can only assume is Gwen’s, Hobie shows up by your side freshly dressed, holding an oversized (or rather for him, appropriately sized) t-shirt and a pair of boxers.

“Arms up” he instructs.

Doing as you’re told, Hobie slides the Spider-Man t-shirt over your head. Then kneels down, to let you use his shoulder as a crutch while you step into the plaid boxers. He presses a kiss against your inner thigh, making your breath hitch, before rising back up and pulling you towards the bed.

Under the covers, in the darkness, there’s a moment of quiet before-

“Hobie?”

“Yea, love?”

The endearment makes your heart flutter.

“We’re dating, right? Like boyfriend, (preferred romantic title), level dating?”

Another beat of silence lapses, until Hobie abruptly turns the bedside lamp back on.

“Have you not known that we’ve been together for the past two weeks?” He looks at you in disbelief.

“Well, you always said you hated labels and we never really talked about” you wave your finger back and forth “this”

“Shit, that’s true" he admits sheepishly "but I’ve been calling and introducing you as ‘babe’ and 'darling' whenever we’re out”

You share a look, then laugh at the total lack of communication skills between the both of you. After sharing a quick kiss, Hobie reaches out to turn the lamp back off.

“Hobie?” You call out again.

“Yes, Y/N?”

“I love you”

This time there are no beats of silence or hesitation.

“I love you too”

——————————-

Time frame: Hobie + Reader have been seeing each other a little under 3 months and actually dating-dating for 2 weeks.

OMG my first fanfic!!! I hope y’all enjoy and please feel free to leave any comments <3

#across the spiderverse #hobie brown #hobie brown x reader #hobie x reader #hobie brown x you #hobie x you #hobie brown x y/n #hobie brown fluff #hobie brown imagine #miles morales #gwen stacy #I'm a sucker for acts of service <3 TT

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kookslastbutton · 8 months

Note

hii i hope ur well!! just wanna say i absolutely adore ur writing it's so addictive ahaha <33 here's a request i have, if u don't mind: so basically jin and the reader are in a relationship and jin was pretty confident with the relationship at the start, but he feels like after y/n met the other members they spend more time with each other than jin + y/n, and then one day something happens thats just the last straw for him so his jealousy is now visible + a hot make out sesh if u dont mind lmaoo

End of the Line ༓ KSJ (m)

✑ Summary: Your relationship with Seokjin hits a bumpy path when he notices you've been spending more time with his friends than him. It's an understatement to say your boyfriend has had enough of it.

pairing: seokjin x reader

au/genre: fluff, little bit of angst, some crack, suggestive smut, established relationship, drabble

rating: m, 18+

word count: 1,392

warnings: seokjin is jealous and a bit pompous lol, seokjin just wants oc to pay attention to him again 🥺, reference to super tuna bc I couldn't resist, also yeah some crack at first bc its Seokjin, swearing, light fighting, hot make out session as requested, ass gr*pping, manhandling, feat. jhs, myg, & kth

now playing: super tuna

a/n: This was very fun to write anon! 🤩 tysm for your kind words!! It means so much to me 💗 I really hope you like this ☺

You and Seokjin started out as friends—always accompanying the other to weddings, karaoke nights, nature walks, and even fishing trips. It was when Seokjin caught a super tuna on one of his trips to sea that you were beyond proud of him. You didn't hesitate at all to pull out your phone and take a picture of him with his catch.

Seokjin marks it as the day he knew he couldn't just stay friends with you, so he asked you out. It wasn't every day that he'd meet someone who'd get as excited over super tuna as he did after all.

'This tuna will not be released back into the water!' he promised to himself while smiling at the camera with you behind it.

Ever since that day you and Seokjin have been going out as a couple for three months. At first, the two of you were inseparable. You went on multiple dates a week; three at least.

But that all turned upside down when he took the plunge to introduce you to his inner circle, his main guys. Now whenever he asks about your day or your whereabouts you tell him you're out with Namjoon or hanging out with Jimin.

It couldn't be more obvious that you prefer spending time with his friends over him—your boyfriend. Well, he's World Wide Handsome, so whatever this thing is will end today.

Seokjin stands in front of his full-length bedroom mirror, plain white t-shirt, and classic denim jeans. The front pieces of his hair are pushed to either side of his face to make a clean middle part. "This should get her attention." He takes his phone from his pocket and snaps a mirror selfie. "I look damn good today." He sends the photo to you right after.

Seokjin: Having a good hair day, don't you think? [sent an image]

He eagerly waits for your response which typically only takes a few short minutes. But when the time on his phone jumps ahead twenty minutes without a reply, he just knows something's up.

Jagiya 😘: it's nice ❤😊

"Unbeliveable," he scoffs. "That's all you have to say?" Seokjin nearly glares at the screen as he types out a response.

Seokjin: Where are you? I miss you and want to see you 😞

Jagiya 😘: I'm home bby. We can go out if you want??

Seokjin lights up at this. He hasn't been able to see you all week between work schedules and oh yeah...you hanging out with his friends. The last part has him scowling. He's glad you get along with his buds and all but did you have to get so close to all of them?!

Seokjin: yes, come over as soon as you can! We can see a movie or go for lunch 😀

Jagiya: okay, I'll be there in half an hour.

Mission complete. Seokjin slips his phone back into his pocket and combs his slender fingers through his hair.

"Congratulations bro, your girlfriend's yours again!" He gives himself a pat over the shoulder then heads to the living room to wait for you.

When he hears fists pounding on his door he leaps to open it with a big grin plastered on his face.

"Hey hyung!" Seokjin's grin melts when he sees Hoseok, Yoongi, and Taehyung standing in the hallway outside his apartment. You're in between all of them, touching a little too close in his opinion. Seokjin tosses you a 'what the fuck' look instantly.

"Kook, Joon, and Jimin had other plans so they couldn't make it. The rest of us are free though. What movie are we seeing?" You say, oblivious to your error.

Seokjin doesn't reply but clutches your wrist and pulls you towards him, more aggressively than he meant. He then slams the door before the others can walk in.

"Seokjin! What the hell are you doing?" You shake your wrist from out of his grasp, bewildered by his sudden temperament.

"What am I doing? I'm asking you the same thing! I said I wanted to go out with you today, not the peanut gallery!"

"Hey, fuck you man!" On the other side of the door Yoongi cusses. Seokjin pays no attention to it as he's far too concerned with you.

"I'm sorry Jinnie—" you start, realizing he wanted this is be a date. "I ran into the guys on the way over and invited them because I thought we were just hanging out. The more the merrier..."

Seokjin's eyes widen, the vein in his neck slightly protruding. His eyebrows knit together too. "Hang out? Since when do we just hang out? Are you my girlfriend or not?"

"Of course I am—"

"Then why are you bringing them everywhere you go?! This isn't a polyamorous relationship, you know? We used to go out all the time but now I have to compete with five other men plus Jungkook!"

"Jungkook's a man!" Taehyung's baritone voice pipes.

"Shut up Tae, they're fighting in there," Hoseok shushes. "I really think we should leave. I feel odd standing out here."

"I second that," Yoongi turns to head to the elevator at the end of the hall.

"Oh, oh I think they're calming down now." Taehyung has his ear flushed against the apartment door. "I don't hear anything..."

"Yeah?" Hoseok leans his ear to the door too. Yoong watches them from a few feet away, arms crossed—he will not be one to fall into the door when it opens. "You're right," Hoseok speaks again. "It's dead silent in there."

From inside the apartment, Seokjin stares at you with his hands on his hips. His eyes rake up and down your body with a mix of pissed off and turned on. You look exceptionally stunning today, he observes.

"So this is all because you're jealous that I've been hanging out with your friends?"

"Yes, I'm jealous." Seokjin's hands fly up, further expressing his annoyance. "You're always too busy giggling with Jungkook or clinging onto Namjoon's biceps than going out with me, your boyfriend!"

"You are so exaggerating it. I'm just having some fun with them. And I'm not touching Namjoon's biceps so I don't know where that came from. Unless...." you narrow your eyes at the man. "You think they want to sleep with me don't you?"

"Well, why wouldn't they want you? Have you seen yourself?"

You'd be flattered by the compliment if you weren't already fuming at the fact your boyfriend is being so unbelievably unreasonable. "I can't believe you'd say that about your own friends Seokjin!" you say.

"I've known them longer than you have, so trust me. I know what I'm talking about okay?" Seokjin takes a deep breath. "I'm happy you're all friends. I just want to see you more..."

You sigh and walk up to him, hand reaching out to soothe him. "C'mon...we're just platonic. You know I love you right? I'd never do anything like that and they wouldn't either."

"I know. But fuck, you make me so crazy," he huffs and closes the distance with you. Rough hands press on your waist as he pulls you into himself. His plump lips lean down and kiss you with full force.

You let out a muffled whine and thread your fingers through his soft, fluffy hair. "Seokjin-"

He shuts you up with his tongue that pushes into your mouth, licking every crevice he can find. He gives your ass a little squeeze too, before walking you backward and against the couch.

"Does this mean you're not mad at me anymore?" You pant when you're given a breath.

"No," he says, forcing you to sit down on the soft cushions. "I'm still mad because it seems you've forgotten who your boyfriend is around here and need reminding."

"Oh, wait—" you say when he starts climbing on top of you until you have no choice but to lay on your back. "Shouldn't we deal with them first?" You flick your eyes to the door where the guys were still patiently waiting; eavesdropping more like.

Seokjin traces his thumb on the bottom of your lip with a dangerous smirk. "Well, you're the one who brought them here, didn't you? And they came for a movie, no?"

You slap his chest at his antics. "No, absolutely not. Get off me. I'll tell them to beat it myself."

a/n: hoping this was okay? Lmk 💗

Masterlist

no reposting, copying, or translating my work– © kookslastbutton

#seokjin fluff #seokjin smut #seokjin angst #seokjin x reader #seokjin imagine #bts fluff #bts x reader #bts au #bts imagines #fic:endoftheline #kookslastbutton #requests

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serenefreakgeekao3 · 2 months

Text

Ambivalent Days

Jim Halpert x Trans Man Reader (PART TWO) Can be read alone, but I do reference part one, so read that HERE if you want to be caught up!

Summary: You’ve finally come out as trans to the entire office. It’s gone a lot better than expected. But now you’re faced with a serious problem- or rather, a serious crush. On none other than Jim Halpert, leading supporter of your transitions and quickly becoming your best friend in the office. But are you willing to risk that friendship just for some silly little feelings?

Tags: FtM!reader, Gay!Jim (for narrative reasons, I think i wanted him to be bi in the first part but switched it around, whatever), implied gay!reader (all i said was ‘not straight’), trans supporter Dwight, peacekeeper!Pam, supportive!Kelly Kapoor, bisexual!Kelly, drinking in moderation, happy ending Warnings: Michael being absolutely ridiculous and attention-hungry to the point that he does bad things (so, like, normal episode?), some general swearing

A/N: This has been requested so many times, both in asks and requests. I’ll try my best to tag everyone who asked for this, sorry if i forgot any! I was excited to write this because I loved the first part, but figuring out where to start was the trickiest part. I hope you all enjoy! (this entire fic ended up just writing itself once i got going. I had no clue what i was gonna do until it happened so… enjoy lol)

Life was great, working as a Customer Service representative for Dunder Mifflin paper company. Wow, you never thought you’d say such a thing, but it really has become something appealing, something that had you smiling and willing to come to work every single day. Of course, it had its own ups and downs, times when you felt overwhelmed or frustrated at certain people. You still ended up enjoying the majority of the day, and sometimes the rough days turned out to end up better than the rest.

It had absolutely, wholeheartedly nothing to do with James Duncan Halpert, otherwise known to his work colleagues as ‘Jim.’ You continued to lie to yourself, nodding along to this thought process on your drive to work. It was rainy, just like most days, and you were bored out of your mind waiting in the traffic. You just enjoyed going to work, because… Because of all of your friends, that’s why! Sure, that might include Jim, but that also included Pam, and Oscar, and god forbid, even Dwight. He’s certainly grown on you over time, having completely accepted your identity, even defending you against anyone who said anything. You couldn’t be sure, but you suspected that Dwight had even lost a customer through those actions- but when Mr Dellicker had called for customer support and you had answered the phone, saying his name out loud, Kelly had rushed around the divider and ripped the phone from your hand, immediately transferring it to her own phone. You tried to listen in, curious why this was so important to her, but you kept hearing her say the same thing over and over.

“Thank you for your consideration, but we no longer want your business with us. I completely understand that you think so, but we no longer want your business with us. While that may or may not be true, this whole conversation is futile considering we no longer want your business with us.”

Mr Dellicker had become a hushed topic around you, but you had managed to catch a private whisper among your friends one day when he was brought up again. They’d ask Kelly if he had called yet, and she assured the situation was handled. Pam had whispered, “I can’t believe some people’s views on trans people. It makes no sense.” So, while it wasn’t likely due to you specifically, you were almost sure that you were the only trans person they knew. If they were defending trans people, they were defending you alongside it all.

You pulled into the parking lot finally, shaking your head to rid yourself of those thoughts. Mr Dellicker’s whole deal had been a problem a month ago and was no longer an issue. You shouldn’t dwell on those thoughts, you weren’t likely to ever have to worry about it again. You managed to snag a semi-decent parking space. It was only the second from the front, but it happened to be right next to Michael’s own car, and as you placed your car into park, you glanced over to notice he was still sitting there. You tilted your head in confusion, watching for a moment.

You couldn’t tell if he was psyching himself up, or singing along to one of his weird songs. He seemed ready to open the door, then leaned back once more without actually doing it. He lowered the visor on his car, flipping open the little door to reveal his mirror and looking at himself in it. He continued, probably, speaking to himself, and you just shook your head and decided to leave it be. You reached for your suitcase and umbrella, then began making your way inside.

You were stuffing your umbrella into the little holder by the door after you entered the office, taking off your long overcoat and hanging it on the coat rack by Pam’s desk. She smiled, asking about what you did over the weekend, and you answered that you didn’t really do much besides binge the next season of your current obsession. You agreed to tell her about it later, moving toward the break room for your normal cup of tea. You pat Jim on the shoulder on the way, and he reaches up quickly to touch your hand before you slip by. It causes a smile to cross your face as you continue on your path, a happy feeling welling up inside.

“I. Am a girl.” You spin around quickly, eyes widening in fright. There stood Michael Scott, wearing a short, pleated pink skirt with his normal yellow button-down dress shirt, as well as a crooked ginger wig that he had most definitely not been wearing in his car. The room falls completely quiet, and you hear two people put their calls on hold. Jim stands, and you can’t see his face from this perspective, but you hear a hardness in his voice.

“Michael, this is not a funny joke-”

“It’s not a joke!” Michael yells out, crossing his arms. He purses his lips before speaking again in a higher tone. “I’m a girl, and so I decided to say it. That I am.” He looked around the room as if expecting something, but no one moved a muscle. Pam broke the silence, clearing her throat and talking in a tone that was both cautious and unbelieving.

“Alright, so what would you like us to call you, then?” Michael sputtered at the question, throwing his hands outward and looking around the room again. His eyes settle on me, and Jim sidesteps to block off his vision. You can no longer see Michael, but the image of him has burned into your mind anyway. You could feel yourself panicking, your heart trying to beat its way out of your chest. This had to be a prank right? He was making fun of you? Now? After all this time?

“What do you mean- Y/N didn’t change his name when he came out!”

“This has nothing to do with Y/N,” Jim quickly tries to interrupt him after hearing your name, but you heard his sentence all the same. Jim walked closer to Michael, leaning down to whisper, but even you could still hear his words in the silence your boss caused. “How about we talk this out privately and continue this announcement later?”

“But-”

“I think that’s a fantastic idea, Jim,” Pam calls out quickly, circling her desk and corralling Michael into his office. He was putting up a fight, but not much of one. Jim followed closely behind, closing the door behind him. You could see multiple faces turn to look at you- as their current entertainment had been dragged away- out of the corner of your eye, but you were still there, shell-shocked. Before you realized what you were doing, you were standing directly outside Michael’s office door, peeking around the side to look in through the window. You could hear them talking still, considering the rest of the office was waiting to see what you would do.

“No, no, no!” Michael yelled out, plopping down into his seat. “I’m serious about this you guys!”

“Alright, let’s assume you are,” Pam begins, but Jim looks at her with an aggravated look.

“Pam-”

“Let’s assume you are,” Pam repeats, pushing Jim away and leaning closer to Michael. “How did you come to this decision?”

“I-” Michael hesitates, looking at his computer, then back to Pam. “Well, I really like girls a lot.”

“Sure, sure, but sexuality and gender are different.”

“I know that, Pam! God!” Michael starts flipping random pens on his desk, trying to distract himself. “I just like their clothes a lot.”

“You like to wear the clothes, or see them on women?”

“See them-” He stops, looking up to her. “I mean, wear them! Yeah, that’s what it is!” His stuttering and determination caused Jim to huff in a humourless laugh, no longer just standing by.

“What’s really going on here Michael?”

“And,” Michael begins, ignoring Jim’s question, “What was that question about what I wanted to be called? Y/N didn’t change his name when he came out?”

“Sure,” Pam agrees, trying to maintain the peace, “But Michael isn’t a very feminine name. Doesn’t that make you feel a little, I don’t know, dysphoric?”

“What does that word mean?” Michael asks, causing Jim to huff again, moving forward to slam his hands onto the table.

“What is really going on here, Michael?”

“Fine!” Michael yelled out, throwing up his hands, his fake hair swinging around wildly. “I don’t think I’m a girl! I don’t like wearing dresses or skirts or-” He spits, swatting away the fake hair that had managed to catch itself in his mouth, “And I’m so uncomfortable in this,” He pulls the wig off finally, throwing it onto the ground. He stands next, reaching for the skirt he was wearing, “Or this-”

“No, no, no!” Pam calls out quickly, keeping him from ripping the skirt off in front of them. “I’ll fetch you your spare pair of pants here soon, it’s at the desk. Just,” She sighs, shaking her head, “What could’ve possibly made you think this was a good idea, Michael?”

“Well!” Michael huffs, pouting as he sits back down. “Y/N got all sorts of attention when he came out. He became cool, and popular, and now I’m not even allowed to make jokes about him! Everyone hates me now, he took my thunder!”

“You can still make jokes about him,” Pam continues cautiously, raising her hands up in a plea to calm him down. “Just, not about the fact that he’s trans.”

“My thunder Pam!”

“This is fucking ridiculous,” Jim begins, reaching forward and grabbing hold of Michael’s shirt. “That stunt you pulled was mean-spirited and heinous. Do you have any idea how you could’ve made Y/N feel? How hard it was for him, not only to accept himself for who he is but to become confident enough in himself to come out to the entire office? Do you realize how much you probably just put him back?” Michael’s face was terrified, and Pam was too stunned at this action to do anything at first. By the time Jim was done talking, she reached forward quickly and pulled him back.

“Jim, that’s unnecessary.”

“I feel it was completely necessary, Pam.”

“He doesn’t realize what he’s doing, he just wants attention.”

“He gets attention every single day Pam! He demands it, hell, he goes out into the office and-”

“Jim,” Pam interrupts, nodding toward Michael. You watch Michael visibly sniff, raising a hand to rub at his nose.

“No, no, he’s right. I’m a nuisance, everyone hates me.”

“No one hates you, Michael,” Pam starts, and Jim scoffs.

“You’re babying him.” She shoots him a threatening look, and he just shakes his head and crosses his arms. Pam moves closer to the desk, looking down at Michael.

“Hey,” When Michael looks up, his eyes are red and glossy. “What you did just now, was that a good idea?”

“No,” He whines out, drawing out the vowel.

“Good, that’s the correct answer. And why was it a bad idea, Michael?” He huffs again, moving to play with a different toy on his desk and avoiding her eyes.

“Because I lied for attention.”

“And?”

“Because I probably made Y/N feel bad. And Jim.”

“So what are you going to do?” Pam asks, and you can’t see her expression but Michael finally meets her eyes and breathes in a deep breath.

“I’m going to tell everyone that it was a horrible prank and that I’m sorry.”

Even Jim startles at this, both Pam and Jim- even you, yourself- having never actually heard Michael apologize for one of his many failed pranks or skits. Pam straightens up, glancing quickly at Jim before looking back. Her voice was full of surprise as she nods, “That’s right. That’s completely right, actually. Good job Michael.” You could see him smile before looking down at his lap, then back up at Pam.

“Can I do it after I change?”

“Of course,” Pam moves quickly to the door, and you don’t think fast enough to move out of the way. The door swings open wide and you are revealed to be standing there, right outside of it. All three occupants turn to look at you with varying expressions, but they all share a similar surprise. You swallow hard, locking your eyes with Michael. You are about to speak but can feel eyes digging into your back, so you take a few steps into the office, past your two friends.

“What you did just now,” You begin, sucking in another deep breath, “Was horrifying- for everyone involved. I’m sure we want to see you in a skirt just as much as you want to be in one.” You lean forward onto the desk, watching Michael shrink away from you. “But let me ask you, how does it feel to wear that skirt?”

“What?” He looks startled at the question, looking to Jim and Pam for help. None arrived for him.

“How does it feel, wearing that skirt? Why aren’t you wearing a blouse with it? Couldn’t find one that fit, or did it feel too uncomfortable? What about the hair?” You nod down to wear the wig laid on the ground. “Was it annoying? Kept getting caught in your mouth, right? Drooped in front of your face, obscuring your vision?” You leaned forward, your breath coming out harsher. “Imagine you had breasts attached to you- and push past your sexuality. Imagine you had them and they couldn’t be removed.” You whisper this last part, your own eyes tearing up. “How would you feel?’

You hear Jim say your name softly behind you, realizing what you were referencing. Michael shook his head for a few seconds before he stopped, widening his eyes. You nod, continuing your speech. “Yeah, exactly.” You lean back, picking your hands off of his desk to rest by your side. “That’s how I feel every single day. Or, did. Until I came out.” You take a deep breath, steadying yourself. “I became confident because I was finally comfortable with who I was. I’m sorry if you can’t find that confidence in yourself. But don’t try to steal mine. Don’t make a mockery of my struggles.” You turn, heading toward the door, toward your desk- to anywhere but here. But Michael’s voice stops you before you’re able to leave.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” You turn, looking into his eyes. He seemed genuine, but you knew he didn’t really understand.

“Think about why you are. Then get back to me.”

You pushed your way past Pam, who stood in the doorway with shock and pain written across her face, and ignored Jim’s call of your name as you kept going. You wanted away from these stares, this was not what you meant by loving this damned office. You continued past the breakroom, ignoring your daily cup of tea. You enter into your side of the annexe, seeing Kelly on the phone and hearing a whispered but high-pitched, “What? No! He didn’t?” Before she suddenly looks up, widens her eyes, and quickly says, “Gotta go,” Before slamming the phone down. You sigh and walk around the divider, taking your seat.

Kelly has more social sense than most people in the office, you’ve come to realize. It was why she had applied for customer service- unlike you, who had just taken up an ad from the newspaper. So, she knew better than to try to ask you what happened. She remained quiet on her side of the partition, something that was extremely odd, and it almost felt like you were in your own little world, in your tiny corner. Your desk was pressed against two walls, and the partition blocked the other two sides except for the small gap for your entrance. The partition walls weren’t very high, but sitting down they reached above your head. You felt isolated- something you first loved, then hated, and now feel grateful for once again. It gives you time and privacy to calm down.

After some time, you hear a throat clear nearby, and Kelly’s chair roll as she likely stands to leave. You look up at the top of your divider, waiting for a face to come into view. Luckily, it’s Jim’s face. He smiles softly at you, and you can tell he’s trying to keep the pity from his face, but it's not working very well.

“You didn’t make your tea?” He raises a cup- your favourite cup, no less, that no one else has used since your incident with Dwight- and offers it to you. “I figured I’d make you some. Can’t go a day without your tea, right?” You can tell he was trying, and it warmed something inside of you. Trying for a smile, you reach out to take the cup, taking a sip. It was made perfectly.

“I’m sorry about that,” You begin, sighing and placing the cup aside. “I kinda went a little overboard, didn’t I?”

“Not at all,” Jim rushes to comfort you, circling the divider completely to be inside your little cube. He rests himself against your desk, looking down at you with earnest eyes. “If anyone was overboard, it was Michael.” You just shrug, looking away.

“I mean, what did I expect, really? Everyone in the office has been so good about the whole thing. Ever since I’ve come out, it's been nothing but positivity.” You bite your lip, shrugging. “This office isn’t exactly a positivity-friendly environment.”

“You being trans should have no bearing on your workplace,” Jim insists, leaning forward toward you. “I know the world is fucked, but I want to make sure that at least your world isn’t.” You huff a laugh, shaking your head.

“Oh, c’mon Jim. Don’t be too hard on yourself.” You look up, meeting his eyes with a self-deprecating smile. “It’s not like it's because of you that all of this ended up so easy until now.” Jim’s eyes widen slightly, then wander away as he wiggles his head and bites his lip. You wait for him to agree, then narrow your eyes. “You… Didn’t tell everyone to be nice to me, did you?”

“Well,” He begins, drawing out the word and wincing. “I didn’t quite do that. But I did explain that they shouldn’t act any different, what jokes they shouldn’t make about it, and to look something up before asking any questions. If they couldn’t find the answer online, then they could ask me, and then I would allow them to ask you.” You blink a few times, tilting your head.

“But no one ever asked me anything?” He nodded along, sucking his lips inside his mouth before popping them, sighing.

“Yep.”

“Did they have questions?”

“Oh,” Jim scoffs, laughing. “So many.” He places his hands between his knees, palms together. You couldn’t help but laugh with him.

“Like what?” You feel curious but also dread at the prospect.

“Oh, y’know,” Jim shrugs, moving to mess with some pens on your desk idly, not meeting your eyes. “Just the usual dumbest shit on the planet. I told them all they were absolutely not allowed to ask you, of course, and had to explain why sometimes.” You nodded along, huffing out another laugh.

“I suddenly don’t want to know.”

“Oh, no, you really don’t.” You laugh softly along with him, feeling your chest bloom open, your crush developing further. For the second time today, you were moving before realizing you decided to. You stood, then reached forward and pulled Jim into a hug. He had straightened when he noticed you standing, then stood stiff as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. You hesitated, about to pull away when Jim moved quickly, wrapping you in his arms and pulling you in tighter. You relaxed once more, laying your head against his chest and closing your eyes.

“Thank you, Jim,” You whisper, turning your nose to brush against his dress shirt. He smelled clean, with a hint of cologne that you couldn’t place. His arms were warm and strong- comforting in a way that you hadn’t felt in so long. He moved one of them up, cupping the back of your head as he straightened up more, pulling you in closer.

“It’s nothing,” Jim stutters out, and you can hear his heart beating under your ear. “Someone’s gotta make sure these folks don’t chase you away.” You laugh, leaning back to look him in the eye. He seems sincere, solemn, as he adds, “I think I would be devastated if you quit.” You chuckle once more, shaking your head as you pull away.

“Oh, I’m sure.”

“No,” Jim lowers his head, trying to catch your eye once again. “I’m completely serious. You are probably the only reason I still show up.” He laughs, shaking his head. “I mean, I’m this old and stuck in this job?” You laugh along, shaking your head.

“You make good money here, Halpert, don’t deny it.” You feel slightly upset you had pulled away from the hug so soon, but you had to look at him after he said that. You had to see if he was serious- Jim is hardly ever serious, always joking around. It was part of the reason your crush developed so fast, and also why it’d always remain a secret. He was so funny, making you laugh constantly. But he was also a bit of a jokester, and you didn’t know if he had a serious bone in his body. Today was showing he certainly did.

You weren’t sure if you’d be able to handle it.

You both spend some more time chatting, and his presence is a balm that soothes your panicked heart. He tries his best to make you laugh- which you do, often- and you finish your morning cup of tea in the meantime. You were sure you could’ve talked to him forever if only your phone hadn’t rung. You shrug with helplessness, reminded that you’re technically at work and still have a job to do. You reach to pick up your phone, apologizing to Jim who waves you off. You watch him walk away as you answer the phone, “Dunder Mifflin paper company, customer service representative speaking.”

It ended up being a quick call, with someone complaining that their shipment was late. You only had to find their account to let them know that the delivery was scheduled for today and the time. Once you placed the phone back in its slot, you raised your cup to your mouth before remembering it was empty. ‘Eh, might as well,’ You think to yourself, pushing to stand and make your way to the breakroom. Kelly is back at her desk as you circle around, and you make sure to say a soft greeting to her to make up for your earlier rudeness. She says a polite and short greeting back with a gentle face, still conscious of your rough morning.

You’re about to pull the door to the breakroom open when you notice the back of Jim standing at the counter. He was hefting a freshly brewed pot of coffee, and you couldn’t help but stand there and watch his arm flex as he hefted it with no problem. You didn’t see the other door open, but suddenly Kevin was walking directly into Jim’s space.

“I have another question.” Jim sighs visibly, shaking his head.

“Haven’t I told you enough-”

“No, this is a different question, Jim!” Kevin seems adamant, and after Jim puts the coffee pot away he takes a side step to regain some personal space. “And you said yesterday there’s a limit of stupid questions I’m allowed to ask a day so I couldn’t ask yesterday!”

“You have until I finish making my coffee.” You’ve never seen Jim quite so indifferent and snappy before, raising your curiosity. For some reason, you still stood there, barely peeking through the window of the door, still holding your empty cup.

“Ok, so if he still wanted breasts-”

“Nope.” Jim was already shaking his head, stirring sugar into his coffee.

“Alright fine, but also. Can he sow a penis-”

“Nope.” Kevin huffs in frustration, flapping his arms for a split second.

“Why do you keep saying no to all of my questions?” Jim finishes stirring his coffee, placing the spoon in the sink and turning to look directly at Kevin finally.

“Because all of these questions are way too personal.”

“How are they personal?” You tilt your head, furrowing your brow. How would they not be personal? Jim seems frustrated, running his free hand through his hair.

“You can’t just ask someone about their breasts or genitals, Kevin. You wouldn’t want anyone asking about your dick.”

“Actually, it’s kinda itchy-”

“Nope!” Jim pushes away from the bar, leaving immediately. You’re stuck between sympathy for both of them. You don’t think Kevin actually knows any better at this point, but you also just felt too awkward to even try to come up with an answer to those questions. However, were these the types of things that Jim had to put up with daily just to vet the office for you? Why would he put himself through all of that?

“He’s really trying, you know?” You startle from your thoughts, turning to look at Kelly still sitting in her rolling chair. You tilt your head in confusion, but also shifted on your feet, hoping to play off the fact that you’d been standing there this whole time.

“Who?” Kelly just gives you a look you can’t quite decipher, continuing.

“Jim, obviously.” She sighs, pushing herself away from her desk and standing. “He’s even asked me for help on occasion. Little things here and there, but he recruits the allies where he can find them.” You purse your lips, leaning back against the wall next to the door, crossing your arms while holding your cup upright still.

“Asked you for help? Doing what? Who else has he asked?”

“I knew you’d figure it out at some point, I just didn’t think it’d be when someone slipped through his fingers. Though, Michael is pretty unpredictable like that.” She shrugs with a smile like she’s trying to hold back a laugh. “His main ask for me was just to intercept anyone trying to bother you- most likely to ask the dumb questions. I just had to send them right back through the breakroom over to Jim’s desk.”

“Did that happen often?” She shrugs again, wiggling her head.

“Not often, but a few times. Mainly Kevin, he has a lot of questions.” You nod, glancing briefly toward the breakroom’s door before resting your eyes on her once more. You study her posture, then try to make a guess.

“The other was Mr Dellicker, wasn’t it?” She winces but nods nonetheless.

“He was a real ass.” She sighs dramatically, moving to lean against the wall next to you and bunching up one of the random, typical office posters that hang around throughout the floor. “He was Dwight’s client, actually. The moment Dwight heard him be even a small bit transphobic, he hung up the phone. This, of course, caught Jim’s attention. I mean, have you ever known Dwight to drop a client? Like, ever?” You shake your head in agreement, and she nods with you. “Yeah, right? Anyway, Jim asks, Dwight answered. To Dwight, that was the end of the entire thing. To Jim, however,” Her smile begins growing as she leans closer to you, “Well, he knew that Mr Dellicker would call back to complain. And who would be picking up the phone?”

“Customer service,” You mumble, absorbed into her story.

“Exactly!” She giggles now, unable to hold it back. “It was adorable, really, the way he begged me to make sure I took his call. He actually asked me to call the man first, but I told Jim I wouldn’t go out of my way just to aggravate someone who, as far as we knew, wouldn’t be calling back after such a rude hang-up. But he wouldn’t let up, so I agreed to keep an ear out.” She huffs now, widening her eyes with a far-off look. “Good thing I did, too. He was such an ass.”

“Thank you,” You say softly, bringing her back to the present. She tries to brush it off but you just shake your head, placing a hand on her arm. “No, not just for Mr Dellicker. For agreeing to help out at any point, just for me. For not making a big deal about my whole coming out, for never treating me any different or- just-” You hesitate, shaking your head. “Just everything, Kelly. You’re an amazing coworker.” You watch her eyes begin to water, and she lets out a wet laugh.

“Wow,” She raises her hands, wiping the corners of her eyes. “You’re going to make my makeup run.” She pushes up from the wall, circling you and entering into the breakroom, heading straight for the girls’ bathroom. You widen your eyes at this reaction, unsure, but take a deep breath and enter into the breakroom yourself. You still had some tea to brew.

You didn’t mean to idle, standing near the exit of the breakroom toward the annexe, but stuck in place watching Jim lean against Pam’s desk through the door’s window on the other side of the room. They were talking back and forth- a lot of laughing involved- and you couldn’t quite place the feelings whirling in your chest. It felt similar to jealousy, but you knew that wasn’t it. Envy? That perhaps she was his type, and not you after your transition? Insecurity?

You startle as Jim suddenly meets your eyes, watching him straighten up quickly. You try to act nonchalant, moving out of his line of sight to grab your lunch from the fridge, and sitting at the break room table. You’d finished your second cup of tea hours ago, and you were a tad overdue for your lunch break considering you had a whole host of emails that you usually respond to in the morning, but had to answer during your second cup of tea since you’d been just a tad distracted that morning. You bite your lip as the events from that morning fly through your mind, a whole host of emotions attached to them.

The door across the room opens, stopping your train of thought in its tracks. Jim walks in with a smile, moving toward the fridge. “Hey,” He greets you, scanning you with his eyes while you just sat there, slowly removing your lunch from its brown paper bag. “Was starting to worry you’d forgo lunch.” You laugh, then proceed to explain your lateness. As he sets his own lunch on the table, you begin to wonder if he waited for you. Then your eyes flicker back toward the door you’d been staring at him through.

“So, how’s Pam?” Jim seems a bit taken off guard at the question, turning to look at the door himself before looking back to you. He shrugs, taking his own lunch out of his lunch box.

“Uh, good, I guess?” He raises his sandwich, ready to take a bite before hesitating and adding on, “She’s excited to hear about that one show you mentioned this morning.” You nod along, watching as he begins to eat his sandwich. You take your own small bite, looking toward the door again.

“She’s cute, isn’t she?” Jim’s eyebrows furrow immediately, and you watch him swallow. He seems to be planning his actions in his head before he performs them, placing his sandwich down.

“What?” He looks around the room aimlessly, wiggling his head. “I mean, yeah of course. She’s cute.”

“You two get along really well.” At this he chuckles, shrugging.

“We’ve worked together for a long time.” You both fall silent, taking more bites of your food. Jim breaks the silence with a resounding, “I’d probably have developed a crush on her by now if I wasn’t gay.”

Gay.

You end up lightly choking on your bite from surprise, playing it off with a cough and a sip of your water bottle. You can see Jim staring down at his sandwich at the table, taking a deep breath. “So, I can see why someone would develop a crush on her. If he was straight.” He glances briefly up at you, then back down to his sandwich. You tried your damndest to keep the look of shock from your face, that it takes an extra minute before you understand what he’s not saying. Did he think you were asking because you had a crush on Pam? You take another sip of water, letting your eyes wander away from him.

“Yeah, same.” Out of the corner of your eye, Jim glances up at you quickly, a look of concentration on his face that indicates his thoughts roaming a million miles an hour. You shrug for show, moving your own food closer so you can take a bite once you finish speaking. “I’d probably have developed a crush as well if I was straight.”

You only recognized the signs of Jim choking since you’d just gone through the same thing, as the man turns to cough into his arm as if to play it off. At least the poor man hadn’t been chewing food like you were. By the time Jim finished drinking from his own bottle, and moved to lean forward and say something, he was interrupted by the door opening and someone entering inside. He leans back, looking self-conscious, and you feel such a deep curiosity about what he was going to say that it burns in your chest. You don’t even register who walked in until she was taking a seat right next to you.

“I don’t know how you can stand it, Jim,” Kelly begins softly, and you look at her with confusion. Kelly never talks softly? “Working right next to the receptionist's desk all day. How do you get any work done?” Jim’s eyes flicker between you and Kelly, clearing his throat.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, she’s so hot!” You and Jim meet eyes suddenly, listening to her continue to talk in a soft voice. No wonder, considering she was essentially coming out to the both of you. “When I first started and had to work over in that area, I was getting nothing done. Toby had to ask me what was wrong, and I sorta kinda told the truth that I was extremely distracted. He moved me to the annexe-” She pauses here, resting a hand on your arm with a sympathetic expression, “Sorry, Y/N, that’s why you’re confined back here as well.” You shake your head quickly, rushing in.

“No, it’s fine. I like it back here.”

“You do?” Jim asks with a smirk, and you give him a look essentially saying ‘Shut the fuck up Halpert I’m trying to console her.’ He just laughs noiselessly, his chest shaking as he moves to take another gigantic bite of his sandwich.

“Anyway, it’s so distracting. I had to go get something copied and I stood there an extra five minutes trying not to stare too directly at her. Oscar literally had to nudge me and remind me what I was doing!” She groans, letting her head fall onto the table. “So embarrassing.”

“Oscar knows?” You ask gently, unsure whether she actually realized she told you both. She lifts her head with a sigh, seemingly unfazed.

“Well, yeah. Oscar knows about everyone.” You hear Jim scoff softly, mumbling quietly under his breath.

“Not everyone.” This only causes Kelly to raise an eyebrow at Jim, smirking with humour.

“Oh, he knows about everyone, Jim.” His head was quick as it whipped toward Kelly, leaning in.

“Wait, what?”

“I mean,” She shrugs, glancing toward you briefly before meeting his eyes again. “You’re kinda obvious, Jim.” You can see his eyes widen, but you only feel confusion.

“Wait, how many people are gay in this office?” Kelly only shrugs, refusing to meet your eyes.

“Not my place to say.” You nodded along, obviously that being true. You meet Jim’s eyes once again, and you can see red peppering his cheeks.

“I’m sure it’s fine, Jim.” He nods as if agreeing, flicking his eyes between you and the rest of his sandwich throughout the rest of lunch. Kelly takes the initiative in the ensuing silence, talking about everything yet nothing at the same time. Just as you and Jim are both cleaning up to get back to work, Kelly sighs loudly with an eyeroll before looking toward you and plastering on a smile. The look only made you feel wary.

“So, Y/N, what are your plans for after work?” You swallow roughly, glancing at a wide-eyed Jim, then back to her.

“Uh, nothing really?”

“Oh,” She draws out, reaching forward and placing a flirty hand on your arm. “So you’re free tonight? Want to go out for drinks?” You stutter, pulling away from her arm, your head already shaking as you try to come up with an excuse. ‘Didn’t she just say that she found Pam attractive? What the hell is going on?’

“Uh, Kelly-” Jim tries to intercept, but she pulls away as if nothing happened, shrugging.

“I just meant with the lot of us. Jim will be there too, won’t you Jim?” She looks directly at him, raising her eyebrows as if she was expecting something from him. You look between the two as an awkward silence settles before Jim startles, trying (and failing) for a normal smile.

“Oh! Those drinks!” Jim laughs awkwardly, looking back and meeting your eyes. “Yeah, we’re all going out for happy hour at Poor Richard’s Pub, you should join us!” You relax slightly as Jim was the one offering, no matter how weird this entire interaction ended up being.

“Oh, uh,” You hesitate, still slightly wary. There’s obviously something you’re missing here. “I mean, sure. I have nothing else to do. Who all will be there?”

“Just a couple people from the office,” Kelly quickly answers, standing and moving to throw her own trash away. She turns to look at both you and Jim, still sitting in your chairs. “Well, c’mon! We have work to do, people!”

“I know why I’m sorry now.” You startle at your desk, turning to look directly at Michael Scott with wide eyes. You hadn’t even heard him approach. He circles around your desk, motioning for you to stop your work as he leans against your desk- an unknowing imitation of Jim that morning. “If you’re willing to listen?”

You can feel yourself swallow roughly, the beginnings of a familiar panic starting in your chest. You’re unsure what to say, so you just nod. He nods as well, taking a deep breath before continuing. “At first, I had no clue what you meant. I knew I was sorry, and I knew it was because I had hurt you.” He looks into your eyes, regret deep within his own. “But that wasn’t enough for you. So I started thinking.” He chuckles softly, leaning back on his hands and letting his own gaze roam the walls behind your desk. “And when that didn’t work, I remembered something Pam said when she tried to play along with my- well, yeah. A certain word I didn’t recognize. Dysphoric.”

You feel yourself tense, suddenly remembering the tightness around your chest where the binder lays under your clothes. You can feel the tie around your neck like it was trying to choke you. Michael, unaware of your inner struggles, continues on. “That search was enlightening- it was like everything you had expressed to me. And everything I had felt, trying on those clothes.” He hunches inward, his expression becoming stormy. “I felt so wrong wearing that skirt. And you were right- I had tried a blouse on. I bought one at the store that fit and even brought it home, but it just felt so weird when I tried to walk out of the door with it on. So I switched to my normal shirt.

“Then I was sitting in the parking lot, and I knew that the moment I placed my foot out of my car, everyone would see the skirt. I was-” He laughs humourlessly, shaking his head. “I was terrified. I tried to ignore it- like it was just stage fright, something I had to talk myself into.” You began to nod, intrigued by his story. “I don’t know how I convinced myself to get out of the car- I guess something along the lines of, ‘Well, I’m the boss. The ship will sink without me in there.’” He takes a deep breath, patting his legs loudly. “Anyway, I was jealous.” He shrugs, looking at you with wet eyes. Was he really getting emotional over this? “I mean, you did kinda steal my birthday away from me.”

Memories of that night flash quickly through your head. You’d come out during a party- a party you didn’t know the purpose of. That pink quinceañera cake… You didn’t get to taste it, but they could’ve gotten it because it was his favourite flavour? You hadn’t even seen Michael there. Was he trying for a grand entrance? Memories from this morning flash through your mind’s eye, Michael yelling at Pam, ‘He stole my thunder! My thunder, Pam!’

“It wasn’t planned, Michael,” You try to assuage, wincing despite yourself. “I’m sorry, though.” Your apology causes Michael to blow a sigh out roughly, then laugh and slap his thighs again.

“Wow! I didn’t know how much I needed to hear that.” You’re both silent- you studying Michael’s face, and Michael looking anywhere but at you. Then you start laughing.

“Michael,” You try to talk through your laughter, but you just shake your head and try to get it under control. You wouldn’t want him to think you were making fun of him- you only found him ridiculous- so you try your best to calm down. “Michael. You were upset that I ‘stole your thunder’ on your birthday, so your response was to… Pretend to be a girl? Instead of, oh I don’t know,” You try to hold back your laughter again, choking lightly on your words, “Throwing another party?” Michael seems to take a moment to absorb this- then begins to laugh alongside you.

“Well, that would’ve only been easy, Y/N. When have you known me to do things the easy way?” You both laughed again, and you began to shake your head.

“Never.” When your laughter finally dies down, you meet his eyes once again. Staring at each other, it's like you both finally understood. You thought he was just ignorant, but you had been missing out on important information as well. He began to nod, glancing over his shoulder toward the nearby wall clock.

“Well, looks like I kept you long enough. Time to clock on out!” He jumps up, shooting finger guns before backing up. He trips over the edge of the divider, tries to play it off, and then groans loudly when he sees Toby walking by. “God, every time!”

You chuckle to yourself, then begin the process of shutting down your computer and packing up. Kelly skirts around the divider quickly once the door closes behind Michael, leaning into your space. “Let me drive you.” You hesitate, widening your eyes.

“I’m sorry?”

“To the pub! Let me drive you!” You laugh nervously, beginning to shake your head.

“Oh, uh, no. I have my own car, but thank you-”

“If you drink, you won’t be able to drive home.” She counters, raising her eyebrows at you. You laugh again, shaking your head.

“Well, if we’re all drinking, wouldn’t you drink too?” She shakes her head immediately, crossing her arms.

“I don’t drink at all.” You still feel hesitant, and it must show on your face as she sighs and then leans in. “I’ll tell you Jim’s whole deal.” This catches you, looking back at her to study her.

“What do you mean…?”

“I’ll tell you if you let me drive you!” You huff a laugh, smiling despite yourself. “Yeah, alright. But if I don’t drink, you gotta’ take me back here so I can drive myself home.”

“Deal! And if you do, then I’ll drive you home and pick you up for work tomorrow morning!” You laugh again, shaking your head as you pick your briefcase up, finished with closing down your desk for the day.

“You seem excited about this.”

“Absolutely! I’ve been waiting forever!”

You were still unsure what she meant but followed along with the hyperactive girl as she burst through both of the doors to the breakroom. You watch Jim straighten where he had been leaning against Pam’s receptionist's desk, and smile toward you as you made your way to the exit.

“You know,” Jim starts, huffing a soft laugh and smiling in a way that took your breath away, “I was thinking.”

“Oh,” You draw out, smiling despite yourself, “Dangerous territory there, Halpert.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jim begins, laughing again. He takes a discreet look around before reaching forward to almost take your hand, his fingers tangling with your own but not quite grasping. “I was hoping that maybe I could drive you down to the pub? I know you have your own car and all, but I just want to make sure you’re safe with getting home, y’know?” Your face falls just as you hear Kelly’s voice behind you.

“Oh, don’t worry Jim! He has a ride already.” Jim looks toward Kelly over your shoulder, then back to you with wide eyes, pulling his hand away.

“Already?” Jim looks back to Kelly, confusion clear across his face.

“Oh, don’t get your panties in a twist, Jim!” You feel her small hand wrap around your bicep, pulling you toward the door. “We’ll meet you there!”

You take one last look at Jim through the glass doors as Kelly drags you along to the elevator. You hesitate, mind trying to catch up, before you finally clear your throat and look at her. “No offence here, Kelly, but I honestly think I would’ve preferred riding with Jim?”

“You’ll have the rest of your life to ride with Jim. Just let me tell you what I need to tell you without the risk of Jim hearing us.” You both step onto the elevator, as Kelly begins mashing the button for the lobby.

“Uh,” Your mind is stuck, repeating ‘rest of your life’ and ‘Jim’ over and over. “This feels… Is this nefarious?”

“‘Nefarious,’” Kelly mocks, pulling you once the doors open again. “You say the oddest things sometimes.” You didn’t know which car was hers, but considering she was dragging you along, you didn’t have to guess. She pulls your briefcase from your hands, finally letting go of you, and you just stand in place. She throws your suitcase and her purse into the backseat, then opens the driver's door with a look up at you. “Well, get in!”

It was quiet for a long portion of the drive. You didn’t know what to ask, or how to even broach the subject. Did it seem too eager, to ride along with her just because she promised to tell you about Jim? And what was she even talking about- how would Kelly know more about Jim than you? True, you both hadn’t been friends for very long just yet, but you didn’t know Kelly and Jim were friends?

“So, it started when you started transitioning,” Kelly said, bursting you from your whirlwind of questions. “We all got pretty curious. I was the one who had the theory you were trans first.” She winces, looking over to you. “Sorry. I didn’t know at the time how true I was. I honestly didn’t even know if you knew about it, but- well, obviously you did.” You tilt your head, brow furrowing.

“You all were talking about me before we were friends?”

“Well, you know how the office is. You were changing, and people were noticing. Especially Pam and Jim. Pam, who is such a sweetheart and just wants everyone to be comfortable. She had a feeling you were never quite comfortable at the office but didn’t know how to help. Jim found you hot, which was throwing him for a loop considering he is gay, and normally not attracted to-” She hesitates, tilting her head. “Well, we did think you were a girl at the time.”

You nod along, unoffended. “Right, but-” You scoff, shaking your head, “I don’t know if I believe this story now. I mean, Jim? Finding me-” You almost say the word, then scoff softly and look down to your lap. “Attractive?”

“Well, you are hot,” Kelly confirms, and you look up quickly at her. You aren’t sure what expression is on your face, but Kelly just laughs. “What? Don’t look at me like that! You were hot when we all thought that you were a girl, and you’re even hotter now that we know you’re a boy!” You laugh in disbelief, shaking your head. Kelly continues on, pushing through your awkwardness. “I mean, c’mon! Confidence is sexy as hell.”

You look away, feeling a blush rise to your cheeks as you remember Jim saying something similar. “Sure, but-” Kelly interrupts you, continuing with her story.

“So once you finally came out, Jim had his own little freak-out because it wasn’t just a theory anymore. It is true, you are a dude, and Jim didn’t know if he could handle you getting hotter and hotter every day.” You flashback to another scene in your head, Jim saying something similar to Pam and you laughing, accusing him of finding Dwight attractive. Was he talking about you at that time? Kelly’s voice brings you back.

“Anyway, I finally told him that he needed to get his act together and ask you out already, or I’d do it first. Either ask you out for myself or for him, but either way. I don’t know if I could stand any more of him spewing about you, I mean- all I heard was Y/N this, or Y/N that, or ‘Wow he’s wearing the tie I gifted him!’ I mean, that man can talk.” You hold back a laugh, shaking your head. The one and only Kelly Kapoor, complaining about someone talking too much. That’d be hilarious to tell Jim- if you ever got the nerve together to tell him about this little conversation.

“Ok,” You huff out, shaking your head, “You’re asking me to believe that Jim not only finds me attractive but wants to date me?”

“Well, that’s where we’re going now! So you better believe it.”

“Going now- but you’re here? The office will be there, how would it be a date?”

“It’s going to be a date,” Kelly starts slowly, looking at you with a grin, “Because it’s not an office hangout. I’m going to drop you off and leave, and then Jim can take you home. I only did this to get you both together outside of work, you’ll be all alone with him.” She huffs, squeezing the steering wheel around her hands. “And I’m telling you all of this before the date because I don’t trust Jim to admit anything to you without pushing him for it. If I’m not there to pressure him, then-”

“Woah woah woah,” You interrupt, shaking your head quickly. “I’m not about to pressure my best friend for- for some wild hope that he might feel the same. And I-” You can feel the panic again, pulling at the seatbelt around your torso. “I don’t know if I can do this, I didn’t know it would be just us, I mean-”

“Calm down, it’ll be fine. It’s just Jim, remember?” ‘It’s just Jim,’ You repeat to yourself as Kelly turns the car into the pub’s parking lot. You take a few deep breaths, nodding your head. ‘Yeah, I can do this. It’s just Jim, just normal ole Jim.’ Kelly backs her car into a space, waiting for Jim’s to arrive. It doesn’t take long to notice Jim’s car pulling in, parking in one of the front parking spaces, directly in your line of sight. You take another deep breath, nodding.

“I can do this,” You whisper, and Kelly reaches over to squeeze your arm. That’s when you watch two of the car doors open, Jim and Pam stepping out to take a look around. You hear a squeak beside you, Kelly’s hand tightening on your arm. You look over with concern, watching panic written across her face.

“Oh, Jim, you bitch,” Kelly whispers, shaking her head.

“This wasn’t part of the plan, was it?”

“Absolutely not,” Kelly whispers, then moves to get out of the car alongside you. You both approach the other two, smiles on your faces. They finally notice you, and it’s almost like you and Jim have locked eyes and thrown away the key. You’re unsure what’s really happening between the two girls, not registering the words exchanged. You walk a little closer to Jim, smiling up at him.

“Hey,” You whisper, and his smile widens, reaching his hand out in an imitation of earlier, tangling your fingers together.

“Hey.” He glances over to the other two girls, wincing and looking back to you. “I wasn’t sure- is it okay that I brought Pam?”

“Apparently,” You whisper, leaning closer and glancing briefly at Kelly to make sure she’s sufficiently distracted, “That wasn’t part of the plan. She told me she was throwing me out of the car and driving off.” You note the blush lighting up Kelly’s cheeks as she talks with Pam, before turning your attention back to Jim. You hadn’t realized you leaned in this close- or did he lean in as well? His face was next to yours, close enough to share a kiss.

“Shall we head inside? Guys?” You both jump apart, and you look guiltily over to Pam, who spoke. She only smiled in response, throwing a thumb over her shoulder. “We could grab a booth?”

The night was going well. It didn’t really feel like a date like Kelly had hoped it to be, but instead a nice get-together of a couple friends. You all laughed constantly, telling stories and jokes from the office, while also sharing your own life’s stories. No one really talked about their own life outside of the office while they were working, so it was a refreshing twist on things. You felt drawn even closer to the lot of them- Jim, especially, as he couldn’t seem to drag his eyes away from you for too long. You weren’t sure, but you thought it was Jim’s leg under the table pressing against your own. You hoped so, anyway.

“But, yeah, Toby is so weird! You guys don’t get that vibe?” Pam continues, giggling as she sips her mixed drink. Jim and Kelly were the only two keeping away from the alcohol, but you had ordered your favourite mixed drink and had slowly been sipping on it. You knew you weren’t drunk yet, but you were pleasantly tipsy.

“No?” You hesitated, trying to think back over the times you’ve interacted with him. It was more often than most since you worked in the annexe, but he always seemed like a nice, if tired, man.

“It’s cause he has a crush on you,” Kelly nods, laughing alongside Jim. Pam blushes, shaking her head quickly.

“Oh, no, of course not.”

“Well, Kelly would know,” Jim points out with a grin, raising his glass to his mouth and taking a large gulp. You watch confusion rush across Pam’s face, while Kelly’s turns a bright shade of red. She mouthed his name behind her cup, giving him a stern look.

“What does he mean by that?” She asks, looking between you and Kelly, then back at Jim. “What do you mean?”

“Oh,” You begin, laughing under your breath. “Just that Kelly has a lot of experience talking with Toby. He was the one who moved her into the annexe, after all. It almost seems like they have a lot in common?” You end it with a question, trying your best to be vague. Jim almost spits out his drink with his laugh, turning to cough into the crook of his arm.

You hear Pam question, “Yeah, why were you moved into the annexe?” Right as Kelly mumbled from beside you, “Not that much in common. Like one thing.” You and Jim meet eyes, trying to keep the humour from your faces.

The rest of the night passed in much the same way. You still were unsure about the whole ‘Jim liking you’ bit but found yourself pleasantly hopeful. And it seemed like- if that was true- maybe Jim was trying to get back at Kelly by teasing her about liking Pam. You began to wonder if that was his plan all along, showing up with Pam randomly. Honestly, whether this was a double date or just a hang-out with friends, you found yourself enjoying the time immensely. But the night was wearing thin, and all four of you had work in the morning.

As you and Pam were helping each other out of the booths, making sure she hadn’t forgotten her purse, Jim and Kelly had run off to pay the bill. You glanced over at Jim- probably with a longing look since you can’t exactly help it, being slightly inebriated- and watched him lean in close to Kelly as they began whispering back and forth.

“He’s a good guy, y’know.” You look back over to Pam, eyes widening. “I don’t know you well enough yet to know your thoughts on him, but he is a good guy. And he deserves the world.” You chuckle softly, nodding.

“Yeah,” You say breathlessly, looking back over to him. He glanced up at the same time, and you can’t help the smile crossing your face. “I think so too.”

“Then tell him,” Pam insists, and you look back down to her. “He deserves to know that. He thinks he’s not worth your time, apparently.”

“That’s ridiculous-”

“What’s ridiculous?” Jim asks as the other two rejoin you and Pam. Pam smiles brightly leaning over to take Kelly’s arm.

“That you have to drive all the way across town just to drop me off, Jim!”

“Actually, we were just talking about that,” Kelly mumbles, and you smile watching her attempt to hold eye contact with Pam unsuccessfully. “If it’s okay with you, then maybe I could take you home? And Jim can take Y/N.”

“Yes!” Pam practically yells out, and you chuckle softly. You look over toward Jim, seeing him already looking your way.

“If that’s alright with you?” He whispers, and you nod immediately.

“Of course it is, Jim.”

“Good,” Jim says, releasing a breath as if with relief.

“Good,” You parrot, reaching forward boldly to take his hand. “Lead on, then.”

Once you and Jim make it to his car, you both wait before getting in to make sure Pam and Kelly are in their car safe and buckled. Once Kelly begins pulling out, Jim turns to you and leans in closer. “I had a fantastic time today.” You laugh, nodding along, leaning against his car and gravitating toward him.

“I did too. ‘Was surprised that Pam showed up, though.”

“Well, Kelly did say it was ‘the office’ going out for drinks. I thought it’d be fine.”

“Well, she didn’t actually mean the office, apparently. She was just trying to get us alone.” You shrug, smirking up at him. His deer-in-headlights look was gone now, for some reason. He seemed bold, leaning closer and taking your hand.

“And if it was? Would that have been fine?” You laugh again, nodding slowly.

“That would’ve been perfect.” His face slowly loses his teasing look, turning serious- but soft.

“Y/N,” Your name is husky in his mouth as he begins leaning closer, and you can smell his cologne in the air. Everything was so much, his smell, his body heat, his honey-brown eyes as he took up your entire vision. “Can I kiss you?”

“Please,” You whisper in return and meet him halfway as your lips crush together. He pulls the hand not holding yours to your face, lightly caressing your cheek throughout the heated kiss, and you grab hold of his hip with your own free hand, pulling him closer. You can feel him moan through the kiss, turning his head to deepen it. This was nothing like you’ve dreamed of- but oh, so much better.

When you two finally part, breathing heavily, he’s pressing you against his car with the length of his body. You both pant as you stare into each other’s eyes, and your grip slowly loosens on his hip. Eventually, he pulls away, clearing his throat with a blush. “Wow,” He whispers, a smile growing as he looks at you bashfully.

“Yeah,” You agree just as quietly, and Jim moves to open the passenger door for you. “Oh, right. Thank you.”

As you sat down in Jim’s car, ready to be driven home, you can’t help but think: ‘Man, I love working for Dunder Mifflin. Even the bad days can turn into the best ones.’

Tag List: @ltnoscara @zombieboyevan @cursedashes

#jim halpert x reader #jim halpert x trans reader #ftm!reader #gay!jim #pam beesly #michael scott #kelly kapoor #bi!kelly #the office toby mentioned #dwight shrute mentioned #drinking in moderation #happy ending #the office #fanfiction

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ilguna · 11 months

Text

☼ trust fall pt1 (Finnick Odair) ☼

summary; after begging Finnick to let you meet his son for almost a year, he finally gives in.

warnings; swearing, angst w a happy ending, i mention peanuts for those who have an allergy lol.

wc; 2.5k

notes; modern au!

–

Finnick likes to do this thing where he tortures you by bringing you as physically close to his apartment building as possible, and then abandoning you out front while he runs inside real quick. He does this for several reasons, one of them being because he knows that it drives you insane.

It has nothing to do with him being embarrassed by the state of his home. You know this because you’ve been in there plenty of times—whether it be to hang out together or be in and out to grab something he forgot. It’s a tidy place, he has it organized down to the very last drawer.

The main reason why he chooses to do that is because he has a son he doesn’t want you to meet quite yet.

On the first date you had with him, he told you outright in the beginning that he had a son, and the mom isn’t in his life. It was one of the first conversations you had with him, as if he couldn’t wait to get it off of his chest. And before you could ask why he didn’t have that on his dating profile, if he was so worried about it, he told you that he doesn’t stand a chance when girls do know.

He gave you a long speech, it was obviously rehearsed. It’s been a long time since you heard it, but he told you different ways his relationships have ended in the past because of his son. He says that the girls will think it’s cute that he’s a father, and agree to date him for a while. Once they realize that his attention isn’t completely devoted to them, they decide that they’re done with him.

He had many instances where the date immediately ended and he was left with a dinner reservation he had to enjoy alone. Or the girl would lead him on, and get a free dinner off of him.

However, he told you that night that he was done introducing girlfriends to his son—Lawson—every couple of months, so he decided that he’d keep everyone separated until he was ready to introduce the two factors.

Well, here you are, almost an entire year later, and you’ve still never been in the same room as Lawson. It’s a long time to go without meeting someone so important in his life. At this point, you’d just say that Lawson doesn’t even exist, if it weren’t for the pictures he’s got to prove it to you. He whips them out every time your doubtful tone begins, reminding you that he isn’t lying to you.

If you’re being honest, you’re not sure how much longer you’ll be able to tolerate this. Lately, each time you bring it up to him, he brushes you off, thinking it’s just you nagging him again. When in reality, it’s your patience running thin, because he must not think very much of you if he’s insisting to keep you away.

You like Finnick, really. You’ve put a lot of effort into this relationship to make it work, because you can see yourself settling down with him. If he can’t trust you with this, though, you’re not sure how much longer you’re going to last.

It hurts to think about it that way.

“I’ll be quick.” Finnick says, breaking the silence, “I’m pretty sure the babysitter’s going to kick me out because it disrupts their day when I do stuff like this.”

He runs a hand through his hair, and then scratches it slightly to fluff up his curls again. You watch him for a long second, trying to decide if you want to bring up going inside, for the fifth time this week.

“Are you sure that I can’t go in?” You ask.

You can see his eyebrows twitch together briefly, before his expression smooths out to make it seem like nothing happened in the first place. You wonder if it’s irritation that he’s trying to hide.

“I’m sure, (Y/n), nothing has changed between two days ago, and today.” He laughs, but it’s empty.

You can see his apartment building from where you two are now, so you stop walking to force him to as well. His fingers twist in yours, and you let go to shove your hands in your pockets, a habit that you unintentionally picked up during confrontations.

“What?” His face is twisted, “Is something wrong?”

“It’s been almost a year since we started dating.” You tell him.

“I know.” He says, “We were just talking about this the other day, and where you wanted to go out to dinner.”

“I don’t think you’re understanding me, Finnick.” You shake your head, “I can’t keep doing this if you’re not going to trust me.”

His face drops, “What are you talking about?”

“Lawson.” You play with a rock on the sidewalk. “If you don’t trust me enough to introduce us, you can say it, because this is a waste of time.”

Finnick stares at you for a long moment, not saying anything. You watch him take in a deep breath, and sighs it out through his nose, like you father used to do when you annoyed him too much. You can feel the anger creeping out of you because of this.

“(Y/n), I told you when we started seeing each other that I wasn’t going to introduce you two for a while—”

“I was under the impression that it would be a couple of months—six at the most. I wasn’t expecting an entire year.”

Finnick shrugs, you press your lips together, “What do you want me to say?”

You make a face, “Nothing, you don’t have to say anything. I’m going home, though.”

Finnick opens his mouth to speak, but doesn’t say anything. He decides to shake his head, “We waited weeks to make plans because of your new schedule. You’re really going to go home?”

“Yeah, I am.” You pull your hands out of your pockets, crossing your arms. “I’ll text you when I make it home.”

“(Y/n), please.”

“We’re fine, Finnick.”

—

When you left Finnick in front of his apartment that day, you were mostly hoping that some time away from him would help the irritation subside. You didn’t want to be angry at him the next time you saw him, you wanted to be the same way you were before the conversation took place.

Unfortunately, you haven’t had the reset that you wanted. You thought it would take a day, maybe two since it struck a nerve. It’s not working. That conversation, the way he handled it, bothered you enough to have avoided him for this past week. No matter how hard he’s tried to make plans with you, you’ve given him every excuse as to why you can’t.

You have a scary feeling that might’ve been your breaking point with him after bottling it for so long, and you’re not going to be able to come back from this. That’s why you continue to stay home, and think about him and his son, and come to terms with the fact that it could be many more months until you’re in a room with him.

With your luck, you probably ruined it for Finnick, too. And if he doesn’t break up with you, saying that you’ve proved a point of his by having a reaction like that on the street—you will definitely have some sort of hesitance every time you bring up Lawson again.

You hate stepping on eggshells.

It’s not all your fault, though, it can’t be. How were you supposed to expect it to take him almost an entire year to agree to letting you meet Lawson? Honestly, if you were in his position, you think you would’ve given it up after the first month. It’s exhausting keeping you two apart, he’s said so himself, and he’s also mentioned how expensive it is to have a babysitter so often.

If that really were the case, wouldn’t he make an effort at introducing you two sooner? It seems like an easy concept to you, if he wants to fix that financial burden. Then again, maybe he’s been using it as an excuse somehow to continue to separate. You have heard him mentioning keeping the babysitter because he’s kept her employed for so long now, way before you came around.

Either way, all you know is that you’ve picked up so many shifts at work that you think you’ll quit if you step in the building one more time than you’re already scheduled. It’s kept him away this long, it’s impossible for him to come over to spend time with you when you’re working.

When you woke up this morning, you genuinely thought today would be the day you invited him over. Only, the second you unlocked your phone and went to message him, you lost all interest.

You’ve decided to spend today alone, again.

It hasn’t been so bad, you’ve been productive so far, but that’s partially because you’re struggling to keep your mind off of the topic. You’ve been going back and forth between trying to distract yourself and confront the issue. The problem is that each time you confront, you feel like you’re pushing your progress back, and becoming mad at Finnick all over again.

On another hand, one that doesn’t belong to you, you realize that if you pretend that nothing is wrong, you’re going to end up having an outburst. Which leads you right back to talking to Finnick about it, having a conversation that leads nowhere, and secluding yourself to keep the harmful comments away from him.

You told him you two are fine, the truth is that you’re not entirely sure if you’re willing to hold on.

You lean forward, reaching into your washer to dig your clothes out of the bottom. They’ve successfully managed to suction themselves to the walls, making it difficult for you to pull them out. When you do get a grip, you bring out a handful, making less trips between the washer and dryer.

You don’t do your laundry often if you don’t have to. You buy clothes, keep them in your closet, use the entire supply, and then torture yourself by doing several loads of laundry in a single day. The entire time you think about how you wouldn’t have this issue if you rotated your closet and washed your clothes more often.

You move to start messing with the buttons on the dryer, when a familiar pattern of knocks echo through your apartment. You pause, eyebrows drawing in, before turning in the direction of the door, which is hidden by several walls. You have to walk out of your laundry room and into the hall to see the front door.

It’s Finnick, you know this because he’s the only person in your life that’s created a specific knock for you to know that it’s him every time. You’ve had friends try and guess it in the past, but they can’t, Finnick’s got it down to the last second.

You wander to the door, wondering how the hell he knows your home.

You flick the locks open, twisting the doorknob and opening it slightly to look out at Finnick, deciding if you’re going to pretend to be sick or not. If you do, then that means he’s going to want to stay for sure to take care of you. And then while you’re in bed, pretending to run a fever and secretly wishing he’ll go home, he’ll talk to you about last week, and you’ll be in the exact situation you’ve been trying to avoid.

You find Finnick’s green eyes through the crack in the door, neither of you moving from where you stand, “Finnick…”

“Will you stop avoiding me?” He asks.

“I haven’t, I’ve been picking up shifts at work because we’ve had a bunch of call outs. I’m trying to get good with management so that they’ll approve that vacation we’ve been planning.” You lie.

Finnick sees right through it, squinting at you, “Are you going to open the door?”

You make a face that he can’t fully see, hesitating, “I’m having me time.”

“Right.” He says, “Now it’ll be ‘we’ time. Open the door.”

“Finnick, seriously, I’ll text you later.”

“I know you better than that. You haven’t responded to me since two days ago, and I’m not letting you get away with that.”

“Well, it seems like I already was…” You trail off.

“(Y/n).” He deadpans.

“Finnick.”

“It’s hot out here, we’re sweating, let us in.”

You crack open the door a bit further, “Who’s ‘us’?”

You watch as Finnick moves his hand from behind his back, slowly to his side. You can’t help the gasp you let out, removing where you’ve placed your foot to keep the door from opening. It slowly swings open.

A boy, a three year-old boy, who’s almost an exact replica of Finnick, who you’ve only seen in pictures, is now standing next to him. Finnick’s holding onto his hand with three fingers, one of them being his thumb to keep it in place.

The boy looks at you, blinks, doesn’t seem to have any significant reaction.

“Oh my god.” You breathe, looking at Finnick, “You didn’t have to—”

“You were right, (Y/n).” He says, leaning over to scoop Lawson into his arms. The boy begins to squirm, clearly wanting to be on his feet, instead of being carried. “And I do trust you.”

You move out of the way, letting them come inside. You shut the door quickly to keep any more cold air from escaping your apartment, turning the lock back in place. When you turn around, you see Finnick fixing the curls on Lawson’s forehead.

You pout at Lawson, “Aren’t you the cutest?”

“This is (Y/n), Lawson.” Finnick bounces him, “She’s daddy’s girlfriend, go ahead and say hi.”

He scrunches his nose, “Hi (Y/n).”

You hold your hands out to try and take him from Finnick. There’s no reluctance, Lawson practically throws himself out of Finnick’s arms to be in yours instead. You laugh, watching Finnick’s face to make sure that he’s comfortable. He nods at you.

Lawson reaches to play with your earrings the second he’s in your arms, but he doesn’t pull on them enough for it to hurt. “Are you hungry? Do you like PB&J’s?” You ask.

You watch his eyes light up, fingers abandoning the jewelry, “Yes.”

Finnick slides the bag off his shoulder to place on your couch, heading over to your kitchen, “Why do I always end up here?”

“Because you make the best sandwiches.” You smile, turning your attention back to the boy, “Do you like to draw?”

Lawson nods, “I like dragons.”

“Dragons?” You ask, “What about dragons saving castles?”

“Yeah. And princesses.”

“Tell me everything you like.” You say.

“(Y/n).” Finnick warns, “Don’t think about it.”

“Worry about those sandwiches!” You shout back at him, “And I’ll worry about the dragons, castles and princesses I’ll be buying!”

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godsandmonsters505 · 2 years

Text

Does This Feeling Flow Both Ways? | Alex Turner

(fem!reader)

Contains content suitable for those above 18 years of age. Minors do not continue!

Summary: you've been friends with Alex for a while, when eventually something in the atmosphere changes.

Warnings (18+): smut, p in v, oral sex (f receiving), swearing (the usual lol), cheating, slight degradation

After a long, stressful day of working, then coming home only to argue with your boyfriend over the phone, you finally collapse back onto your sofa with a glass of white wine. Still adjusting to the hot weather of LA, you decided to just relax in your grey gym shorts and a black, strappy top. Before you can even take a full mouthful of your wine, though, your door bell rings. You curse under your breath but don't bother standing up to answer it when you hear keys jiggling in the door.

"Hi," comes a familiar voice. It's no surprise for Alex to be here, but he somehow always manages to come at the worst time.

"Giving you the keys to my apartment was the worst decision of my life." You scoff as he makes his way into your vision, kicking his shoes off and throwing his leather jacket across the back of my sofa. He seems to think that because he’s your closest friend, he can get away with whatever he wants. "Go on, make yourself at home."

"No need for the sarcasm," He grins, mock innocence on his face. He sits on the sofa next to you, his dark hair completely slicked back, wearing a fitted white t-shirt and jeans completed with his gold chain and various rings.

You've known Alex for a couple of years now. You met through mutual friends and soon formed a love hate relationship with each other. You only started seeing each other more often when you moved to LA a few months ago, only a few minutes away from his house. You honestly don't know why you put up with him at first because he's annoying as hell, but he has this certain charm that allows him to get away with that, you guess.

"You come barging into my home with no warning, the least you can expect is to be hit with a little sarcasm. You're a big boy, you can deal with it."

He chuckles. "Someone is not happy today. Sam?"

You shoot him a look and roll your eyes. "I'm not talking about Sam."

"Oh come on, don't give me that shit. Talk to me about it. I probably know more than you think I do about it." He tries he convince you.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm just saying I could give some good relationship advice."

"Can you wait until you're in my house for at least two minutes until you start giving me lectures?" You laugh disapprovingly. "Plus, I can't wait to hear this, I think your area of expertise may be more on one night stands."

He fakes a dramatic gunshot to the heart, but he knows you're only joking with him.

"Well, that might be good in this case." He replies. "You and Sam...how is the...y'know?"

You sit up straight and he laughs at you.

"The sex?" You exclaim.

"Yes. Or more the lack of if I had to guess." You hear him mutter.

"Alex!" You gasp. "I'm not talking about my sex life with you."

"Why not? You tell me everything else. Anyway, there are many inferences I'm sure I can make if you don't want to talk."

You stare at him in shock. "Oh yeah? Like what exactly?"

"The fact that Sam never stays over here for more than, like, an hour at a time, for one." He raises an eyebrow at you, waiting for a response.

You can feel colour creeping into your cheeks. "Okay. That means nothing. Plenty can be done in an hour."

"Come on," He scoffs. "I know that full hour is not being used. I can tell the kind of guy Sam is, in and out, over in five minutes."

"Alex!" You swat him on the arm and try to stay serious, but can't help laughing at the statement.

"So it's true?" He grins triumphantly, but he doesn't wait for your answer. Lowering his voice and edging closer to you he whispers, "Also, the vibrator in the bathroom. I have a feeling that may be an attempt for you to make up for what Sam is lacking."

He bites his lip as he anticipates your response, and smooths his hair down. You're too busy trying not to maintain eye contact that it takes you a moment to realise that you're blatantly staring at his mouth, the way his tongue wets his lips, and his teeth graze them.

By this point, you just know your cheeks are crimson, and you stand up. "I'm done with this conversation. Keep your creepy observations to yourself. It's perfectly normal. And Sam is just a dick in general. There's plenty of problems beyond our sex," you blurt, "the fact that he's sleeping with a girl from his office, for one."

"What? Why the fuck are you still with him?" He asks, defensively.

"One of my close friends works with them, caught them in his office without them even noticing. She's seen them sneaking about since. It's gone on for months." You sigh. "And I've wanted to break up with him so many times but I never have the guts to follow through and confront him about it."

"Shit," he whispers.

“Shit indeed.”

You walk across to the open plan kitchen to the fridge, just wanting an excuse to have a bit of space for a brief moment. You and Alex have a very open relationship, but him picking up on your vibrator is a whole other level of embarrassment. Especially when you've thought about him while using it many a time. He has no way of knowing that though. And he probably thinks you’re pathetic for not breaking up with your cheating boyfriend but it’s not as easy as you wish it was.

"Do you want a drink?" You ask.

"Lager, please." He replies in a non-chalant tone but the smirk is still there, clearly thinking about the vibrator aspect of the conversation again.

You grab a lager out of the fridge and take it back over to him, sitting down again now that you've had time to let the colour fade from your cheeks.

"Thanks," He smiles, taking it from your hand. You can't help but notice the rings on his fingers, and the way that his grip on the bottle makes his arms and hands flex.

Once you sit down next to him again, you start rolling yourself a cigarette, desperately needing one.

"I don't know how you smoke that shit," He teases, nodding to your pouch of tobacco as he pulls his own cigarette out of a packet.

"Come on!" You nudge him gently in the ribs with your elbow. "Just because you're all famous and living in LA don't pretend you never used to smoke roll ups."

"Yeah," he rolls his eyes dramatically. "When I was 18."

"Well, I like it. I'm not changing for you." You laugh.

"Whatever. Just don't blow your shitty smoke anywhere near me." Shaking his head jokingly, he lights his cigarette before passing you the lighter. You inhale deeply and the first thing you do is blow the smoke straight towards Alex.

"Dickhead!" He laughs, holding one hand on your shoulder to push you back.

Giggling, you try to writhe out of his grip by spinning around slightly so that your back is against the arm of the settee, and you pull your legs up onto the sofa to try and create a barrier. As soon as Alex notices your technique, he playfully pulls your legs so that you're no longer resting against the arm, and are laying flat on your back.

"Alex!" You squirm, laughing. "Let me get up!"

You attempt to pull yourself up by wrapping your arms around him, but you just end up bringing him closer down to you and without realising it, he's on top of you. Something in the atmosphere immediately switches and in that moment you both stop laughing.

Instinctively, you put your cigarette in the ashtray on the coffee table, and he does the same, neither of you looking away from each other.

His face is merely inches from yours, the smell of beer and smoke on his breath intoxicating. His hair is now far from all being slicked back, and bits are flopping down over his face. His eyes bore into you like you're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, and you can't stop your eyes from flickering up and down to look at his lips.

"Don't," he whispers. "Don't look at me like that."

You bite your lip and look into his eyes. "Look at you like wh-"

He cuts you off when his lips come crashing down on yours, and you immediately kiss him back. You wrap your legs around him to pull him closer and run your hands through his hair. One of his hands is placed loosely around your neck, applying the slightest pressure, and the other planted on your hip to hold you in place.

You've imagined Alex in this way before but never thought anything of it. Never began to imagine that someone like him would be remotely attracted to you, and you wonder where the hell this has come from. In the years that you’ve known each other, Alex has never shown the slightest interest in you sexually.

The hand on your hip works its way up and palms your breasts over your top while you subconsciously begin to grind against him, the tension created by the friction of his bulge through his jeans becoming unbearable.

He clearly notices your grinding and sits up with you still holding onto him, so that you can grind into his lap, not once breaking the kiss. He grips your hips firmly and guides them into the right spots as you force small groans out of him. Within no time heat pools to your core and you can feel yourself soaking through your underwear and thin shorts. You automatically lift your arms up as he takes your top off, and he does the same as you return the favour, running your hands over his warm, toned chest.

Feeling him growing harder underneath you, you eventually break the kiss, but only to move your kisses down to his jawline and neck. Without needing to be told, you climb off his lap and get on your knees in front of Alex, reaching to undo the zip on his pants. But before you can, he stops you.

"No." He says, and you look up at him confused for a moment. "Get back up here." He pats his lap and you do as you're told, gasping as you feel his bulge rub up against you again. "You get to relax, and I'm going to make sure you get treated exactly as you deserve."

He stands up and lifts you with him, hands squeezing your ass tightly. As he carries you into your bedroom, you shift teasingly against him.

"Fuck," he gasps and you giggle as he playfully swats your ass.

"You'd better be careful teasing me like that when I could easily leave you here, a soaking, horny mess." Alex whispers in your ear, his lips lightly tracing your neck and giving you goose bumps. "You don't want that, do you?"

"No," You croak, the feeling between your legs building intensely.

"Good," He smirks. "Behave then."

Once you reach the bed, he gently places you down and gets on top of you, taking no time to plant kisses on your neck, moving down to your collarbone, and then your chest. Lifting your back off the bed slightly, you allow him to undo your bra and toss it onto the floor, now giving him full access to explore your breasts with his mouth.

Gradually, his kisses move downwards, until his tongue is tracing the inside of your thigh. Slowly, he removes your shorts and underwear at the same time, and gently nudges your legs open further. As his tongue gets closer to where you need it, you run your hands through his hair, pulling gently on it in anticipation, his nose brushing against your clit ever so slightly, causing you to gasp.

All of a sudden, you feel his lips on you, sucking your clit, taking you by surprise. You let out a loud moan and wrap your legs around his head, the feeling of needing to close your legs surging through your body. Immense amounts of pleasure jolt through you as his hands firmly hold your hips down.

Seeing the way that every so often he lifts his eyes up for your approval, making sure that he is doing everything you want, drives you crazy. And he is. Never in your life had someone made you feel so good by doing so little in this amount of time. Your eyes keep fluttering shut but you force them to stay open so you can watch Alex's beautiful face, and the things he is doing to you.

He alternates his movements, circling your clit with his tongue, then sucking and leaving open mouthed kisses on it, bringing you closer and closer to the edge, not needing to use his hands. The feeling of his warm mouth on you was surreal, your whole body almost paralysed as you grip his hair, an instinctive response to keep him doing what he's doing.

"Fuck, please...God, Alex, I'm so close," You felt that you should be embarrassed by how quick he got you to that point, but you were so absorbed in pleasure, so absorbed in the fact that it was Alex of all people causing this pleasure, that was at the back of your mind.

In response, he hums, sending vibrations through you and tipping you over the edge.

Your legs squeeze tighter as his name falls off your tongue like a prayer, and explosions shoot through your body, making you jolt further back into the mattress.

As you lay back and catch your breath, he uses his tongue to clean up your mess and such a simple action already has your tension building back up.

"Oh my god, Alex, that was..." You can't even find words to describe how it felt.

"You deserve to feel good," he says, moving back up the bed so that he is now directly above you.

You let out a small breathless chuckle. "I think good is an understatement."

Looking directly into your eyes, he moves your hair out of your face and licks his lips. "You're gorgeous." He strokes your cheek, his cold ring creating a perfect contrast with his warm hands, a look flickering across his eyes, that you immediately recognise as mischief.

"What?" You ask, unable to hold back a smile as you look up at the perfect man above you.

"I'm going to fuck you so hard," He grins coyly.

Unable to muster up words, you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer.

"I'm going to make you scream my name so loud that your neighbours know exactly how badly I'm fucking you up. Everyone will know it’s me who knows what you want, not that bastard." He smirks, tracing his thumb over your lips.

It should feel wrong doing this when Sam is at home on his own, clueless, but the truth is it doesn’t. He practically ended things on the phone earlier, but besides that, you find it hard to have sympathy for such a nasty man. And even though two wrongs don’t make a right, it feels hard to believe that taking up the opportunity to sleep with Alex could ever be the wrong decision.

"Please," you whimper, not knowing how to convey your emotions in any other way.

"I'm going to treat you exactly how you deserve, doll."

You reach down to undo his trousers but he grabs your hands and pins them above your head.

"Not so fast," he chuckles, using his free hand to play mindlessly with your nipples.

All of a sudden, he lifts himself off the bed and you miss his presence instantly. You try to sit up but soon realise your legs have practically turned to jelly. Alex notices, and doesn't let it go unspoken.

"Just imagine how your legs are going to feel after I'm done with you." You can't help but blush at the remark.

Rather than asking what he's doing, you wait and watch him, soon realising that he's taking his jeans off to reveal his tight fitting boxers. Your mouth goes dry when you see his erection through the thin, grey fabric. You can't pull your eyes away, but he doesn't seem fazed and merely stops to admire you for a moment.

"You're so fucking beautiful." He sighs happily. "Why didn't we do this sooner?"

Processing his statement, you bite your lip. You notice a quick flash of panic in his eyes, regret almost.

“I don’t mean that our whole friendship was just me trying-”

“I know, Alex.” You give him a small smile of reassurance which he seems happy with, before risking asking your own question.

"Have you thought about it before?" You wait for him to respond, looking at him through your lashes. At first he doesn't answer. He gets back on top of you and kisses you passionately, his bulge pressing against you teasingly, but then he pulls away leaving you short of breath.

"Look at you, doll. I don't think I could spend as much time around you as I do and not think about you in that way a couple of times." He smiles at you, but the look in his eyes is indecipherable.

"A couple times?" You look up at him with wide eyes and he cups your face in his hands.

"Well, a lot more than a couple of times." He admits, almost sheepishly, but never breaking eye contact. The thought of that is overwhelming to you, and you can't help but look away as you feel your cheeks growing in colour. But Alex turns your face, forcing you to look back at him.

"Why?" He asks smugly. "Does that turn you on?"

You chew your lip apprehensively. The truth is that the image of him thinking about you, laying in his bed, or in the shower turns you on to an unfamiliar degree.

You nod shyly. "Do you- what-" Spluttering, you can barely get your words out. "What do you think about when you...think of me?"

"Lots of things but..." The smile on his face grows. "How about I show you, darling."

Before you can respond, he kisses you again, hot and desperate, palming your breasts and forcing breathy moans out of you. Again, however, he gets off of you, leaving you longing for his touch once more.

"Alex," You whisper, looking up at him as he gets off the bed.

"Come here, love." He stands at the end of the bed and pats the part of it in front of him, telling you to move down to him. "Bend over for me."

All it takes is that simple, blunt command for wetness to rush in between your legs. You immediately do as he says, and lift your ass up in the air, on all fours.

"Beautiful," he sighs, gripping your hip with one hand. The other hand, lines himself up at your entrance, taking you by surprise.

"Please," you beg pathetically as he rubs his tip through your folds teasingly.

"Look how desperate you are," he chuckles, briefly letting go of your hip to slap your ass gently, only making you more needy.

"Alex, please. I need-" You're cut off when he pushes himself all the way in, all of a sudden, the feeling of being completely empty to suddenly being filled by him, causing tears to form in the corners of your eyes.

"Is that what you need?" He teases, starting to move in and out.

"Fuck...yes," you pant.

It doesn't take him long to speed up the pace, ruthlessly fucking you from behind, his fingers finding your clit and rubbing harshly. He'd given up on the idea of teasing and was now solely focused on making sure you wouldn't be able to walk tomorrow.

"Fuck," he groaned. "You feel so good."

Both his hands were on your hips now, to keep you stable as he sped up the pace even more. You gripped the bed sheets in your fists, the only thing you were capable of doing, completely at his mercy. He used his grip on your hips to pull you back as he pushed forwards, making his movements so much more forceful, and hitting the perfect spot.

"Oh god...right there," you moan, eyes falling shut and your whole body becoming weak, just letting Alex take care of you and have his way with you.

"Here?" He chuckles, pulling out almost fully and slamming all the way back in, hitting the right spot even harder.

"Fuck!" You can't muffle your obscene noises, but don't care at this point. The pleasure he is causing you is the complete and sole centre of your attention. "I'm close."

He keeps a fast, hard, but steady pace, moving one hand off your hip to go back to working your clit, rubbing mercilessly.

"I'm gonna-" You can't even finish a whole sentence as he pounds into you.

"Let go for me," he prompts and as his fingers flick your clit one last time, and you do, yelling his name. "That's it, love."

He slows down his movements as he gently fucks you through your orgasm, but as soon as you come down, he wastes no time in flipping you over again so that you're on your back, and getting on top of you.

"Alex," you chuckle, but before you can say any more, he pushes his cock in between your legs again, picking up that same pace as before.

"Have you thought about me before, darling?" He asks breathlessly, going back to the previous conversation. However you're not currently in the greatest condition to have a full conversation.

"Y-yes," you pant. He groans in satisfaction at your response, delivering a particularly hard thrust.

"Tell me what you thought about," he demands.

"I-I...fuck!" You whimper, the throbbing feeling of him inside you overwhelming, one hand squeezing your breast, the other gripping onto your ass. "I c-can't," you stutter, looking away from him.

He stops his movements, buried deep inside you, and grabs your throat turning your face to look back at him. You wrap your legs around him, grinding against him for some kind of friction, but he has you pressed so far into the mattress that it's no use.

"Tell me." He demands, looking you directly in the eyes and licking his lips.

It's hard for you to concentrate being on edge like this, but you can at least physically speak now.

"I've thought about a lot of things...b-but," you can already feel your cheeks growing scarlet under his glare. "You being rough with me. Dominant. You...using me. However you like." He groans in response and immediately starts pumping in and out of you again, taking you by surprise.

"You're a dirty little girl aren't you? I should've known," he grins smugly, and wetness rushes to your core. "Oh, you like being called that?"

You nod shyly and he chuckles. "Fuck, darling. You're going to be the end of me."

Without warning, he flips over so that you're now on top of him, and despite that, he has all the control. You grip onto the headboard for support as he grabs your hips and pulls you down to meet his harsh thrusts.

"That's it...fuck, you feel so good." He groans, clearly getting closer, and so are you.

"H-harder," you manage to beg.

He doesn't need to be told twice, the pleasure inside you building as he picks up the pace and force, hitting a spot he couldn't quite reach when he was on top.

"Oh, god...you're a fucking picture," he says, fixated on your tits bouncing in front of him.

"Alex, please...I'm so close," you whimper.

"Me too, doll. Let go for me." He says, as he moves a hand from your hip to roll your clit between his fingers and delivers one final push deep inside you.

You can't help but shout his name as you let go, your orgasm ripping through your whole body. Your walls contract around him, triggering Alex's orgasm. You feel him twitch then spill inside you, his hot release filling you, and your name falls repeatedly off his tongue, praising you.

You let go of the headboard and collapse on top of him, mid-orgasm, with him still buried deep inside you. He wraps his arms around you and holds you as you come down, stroking your hair.

Finally, you pull yourself off him and lay next to him, catching your breath.

"That was...fuck. That was amazing," he says, breathlessly.

"Wasn't too bad," you tease and he looks at you with a raised eyebrow as you lay there, panting, skin flushed, legs unable to move, and his release dripping down your thigh.

"Whatever." He laughs, and you rest your head on his shoulder, laying in silence for a few minutes, both processing what just happened.

"Do you have anywhere to be, because I was going to order pizza in tonight?" you ask.

He chuckles at your sudden change of topic. "I'm glad you're in a better mood now, you didn't seem too keen on me being here earlier. All you needed was a good fuck."

"Alex!" you gasp, but can't help laughing.

"What?" He laughs.

"I'm not letting this fuel your ego." Saying that, he has every right to let this fuel his ego. Nobody has ever made you feel that good in your life.

"Too late." He says, squeezing your ass playfully.

"I hate you," you joke, nudging him in the ribs slightly.

"I highly doubt that," he grins cockily. "Not too long ago you were begging me to fuck you harder."

"Oh my god," you laugh, exasperated. "You're a cocky shit out of bed, I should've known you'd be one in bed too."

"Don't lie to yourself, doll. You know you love it really." He smirks. "I mean, you said yourself you'd thought about me before."

You blush and he laughs.

"Oh come on, don't start acting shy now." He grins. "You're filthy. Thinking about me instead of your boyfriend while you fuck yourself with your vibrator?"

"Alex!" You roll your eyes at him in an attempt to mask your embarrassment. "Stop being a dick."

"Okay, but in all seriousness, you need to end things with Sam." He looks at you caringly. "You can do so much better. Plus..."

He looks at you and debates continuing.

“What?” You ask.

“Well, you can’t carry on seeing him either way if you’ve slept with someone else, no matter if he did it first.” He says.

You nod, unable to speak. But he's right. Maybe he's right about a lot of things. Maybe you did just need the sense fucked into you.

“I know,” you chuckle humourlessly. “I mean our relationship is practically over anyway, I just needed a wake up call, I guess.”

And it was one hell of a wake up call. It’s not that you could ever see you and Alex being more than friends - and this certainly wouldn’t ruin your friendship - but it sort of made Sam seem like nothing in comparison, and was a reminder that you really can do better.

While you’re deep in thought, you hear Alex laughing to himself and turn to look at him.

“What?”

"I was just thinking, maybe you like the thrill" And he’s back to teasing you again. "Being fucked by someone who's not your boyfriend."

"I swear to God," you laugh. "Why do I put up with you?"

"I don't know love, in all honestly." He chuckles. "But I'm glad you do."

#alex turner #smut #fanfic #alex turner smut #arctic monkeys #alex turner x reader #alex turner arctic monkeys #do i wanna know #indie

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cheesybadgers · 4 months

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Narcos Fic: Old Habits Die Hard (Chap. 21)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 22, Chapter 23, Chapter 24

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Masterlist

Pairing: Javier Peña x Horacio Carrillo

Words: 7,356

Summary: After arriving in Manizales, Horacio introduces Javier to his family, leading to a long overdue heart-to-heart and a drinking game with a twist.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY. Discussions of coming out, grief, parental loss, canon-typical violence, allusions to period-typical prejudices, drinking game, smoking, swearing.

Notes: Firstly, I will soften the blow of leaving it so long since my last update with the news that chapter 22 will be posted within the next week or so! I decided to split it in half to give more space to the conversations between the characters. So, hopefully that will make up for my elongated silence lol.

Secondly, I finished drafting the rest of the fic at the end of last year 👀 So, I just need to complete editing on chapter 23 and the epilogue. Then, and I can't believe I'm actually saying this, it will be time to leave these two messy idiots to it.

I think it will take me some time to get my head around it coming to an end, not least of all because it's been almost 3 years since I started working on this behemoth. And I can't believe how much has happened/changed since then, yet my love for this ship and this story has stayed strong and close to my heart. So, a bit of a premature thank you to anyone who has supported it at any point since March 2021, it's been quite the emotional rollercoaster ❤️ As always, I love hearing from my readers, so feel free to drop me a comment/message!

I’ve also added to my OHDH trivia post to cover this chapter if anyone is interested.

Chapter 21: For Old Times' Sake

A haze of mist hung low on the horizon, clinging to the rolling waves of verdant peaks that bled seamlessly together with worn asphalt until it was impossible to tell where the sky began and the earth ended.

Luckily, the tyres of the hire car were built for rougher terrain, and it wasn’t the first time Horacio had driven this route. Admittedly, it would have been easier to fly. But this had the added benefit of giving Javier a taste of undiscovered territory.

If truth be told, it gifted them more time to mentally prepare for what was getting closer with every hour that passed, each stop off to admire the view and refresh a stubborn way to prolong the status quo.

Progress had been slow for the last hour as the congested traffic crawled along the sharp angles of the road with its treacherous drops only a few inches away. They had come to a standstill behind a bus that allowed passengers off to take photos, and with little room to manoeuvre around the vehicle, a trail of cars had no choice but to wait.

Javier lounged back in the passenger seat, one foot resting on the opposite knee, his elbow leaning on the door, and the window half open.

He watched Horacio’s hands on the steering wheel alternate between clenching and tapping, a particular kind of rigidity returning to his jaw for the first time in months – if not years.

Javier made an executive decision by reaching into the glove box. He pulled out an emergency pack of cigarettes and a lighter they had stashed away before setting off from Medellín.

He lifted one out of the pack and sparked up. “So, did you say it’s a farm we’re heading to?” There was no point asking the obvious, so distraction it was.

“A coffee farm on the outskirts of the city, yeah. It belongs to Fabián’s family. He and his brother, Santiago, do the bulk of the work now their father’s winding down.”

“Sounds nice. And kinda familiar.”

Horacio’s eyes finally left the windshield and met Javier’s with a shadow of a smile. “Yeah, it does. A lot hillier than Texas, though.”

“Well, that wouldn’t be hard.” Javier held out his smoke across the car, their first one that wasn’t post-coital in a long time. But needs must.

Horacio apparently agreed as he accepted it with a huff of resignation. “Fine, one for the road.”

“I think it’s allowed on roads like this one.”

“I did warn you.”

“Hey, no, I like it. Keeps you on your toes.”

“It reminds me of when Papá drove us to visit Tia Salomé and Tio Jairo in Bogotá. He and Mamá let us have sweets for the long journey but warned us the Mareco would take them away if we didn’t behave.”

“The Mareco?”

“La Leyenda del Mareco. It was a story we were told as kids. The Mareco’s a red devil that looks like a lizard on two legs. He steals children’s candy and conjures up a whirlwind to blow them away if they don’t obey their parents.”

Javier nodded in recognition as Horacio passed their cigarette back. “La Llorona was the story used to scare me and my cousins.”

“Oh yeah, we got that one as well.”

“I gotta say, the Mareco explains a lot.”

“About what?”

“About how you developed a problem with authority.”

“What’s your excuse then?”

“What can I say? I was led astray.”

It was a blatant lie, but Javier didn’t care when it caused laughter lines to materialise in the corner of Horacio’s eyes.

“We both know you were drawn to it as much as you resented it.”

“Only where you were concerned. Anyway, you were just as bad even though you'd never admit it.”

“Maybe you were my exception too.”

A moment of silence fell as memory after memory collided, snapshots of how the push and pull between them had evolved with their relationship.

"Listen, I was thinking,” Javier started before taking a drag, “would it make things easier if you wore this? Just while we’re here, I mean.”

Horacio’s gaze drifted to Javier’s exposed skin, the taillights of the car in front catching on the crucifix at his chest. “No,” he said matter-of-factly. “It’s yours now.”

By the time their cigarette was finished, the traffic edged forward, and the road ahead and Javier’s hand on Horacio’s leg soon replaced conversation.

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Two and a half hours and several bursts of heavy rain later, the muddied hire car pulled up by a complex of buildings nestled amongst a sea of lush green and vibrant flowers. The buildings sat atop steep slopes of vegetation that led to the coffee plantations below, the foggy skyline above etched with rugged ridges and the ominous outline of Nevado del Ruiz in the distance.

Any sounds from life on a working coffee farm were drowned out by birdsong and their feet crunching beneath them as Horacio and Javier walked up the gravel path towards the main finca. It was typical in its style with a rustic tiled roof, whitewashed bricks and wooden pillars around its perimeter painted in the same shade of terracotta red as the doors and window frames. At the back of the property was a large garden with a patio area, pool and a spectacular view for miles on a clear day.

As they lugged their suitcases onto the porch, Alejandra waited to greet them at the front door. Her dark hair was styled in a bob with waves bordering on curls, the kind Javier imagined Horacio could grow if he wasn’t so insistent on keeping his hair short. At least since leaving the CNP, he had been less strict about cutting it.

The family resemblance between the two siblings was evident in their facial features, particularly in the shape of their noses, charcoal eyes and Cupid’s bows. But Alejandra was a few inches shorter, and her frame was slimmer on account of not carrying the same muscle as Horacio.

“The wanderer finally returns,” Alejandra announced as she pulled Horacio in for a long hug, neither of them keen to be the first to let go. “At least you remembered how to use the phone before turning up on my doorstep.”

“Of course. It's good to see you. But I am sorry I left it so long. There’s, erm…a lot to catch up on.”

“I’ll say.” She peered curiously behind Horacio. “But first, let me say hello to this handsome new face.”

She all but pushed Horacio to one side, forgoing any formal introductions he might have had planned. All Horacio could do was stand and watch two parts of his life converge that, for a long time, he believed would never – and could never – meet.

Javier had hung back by several feet, his hands self-consciously stuffed into the pockets of his jeans as he kept his eyes on the ground until he was spoken to.

“Hi there, I’m Alejandra. You must be Javier?”

“Oh, er, yeah, hi.” For reasons unbeknownst to Javier, he raised his hand in a stiff wave rather than the relaxed handshake he had planned and felt the heat instantly rise in his cheeks. “Pleasure to finally meet you. Beautiful place you’ve got up here.”

“Likewise. And thanks.” Much to Javier's relief, she took the lead and held out a hand for him to shake with a reassuring smile. “Although you’ve got Fabián to thank for that. He’s down there giving a tour to one of our new buyers.” Alejandra turned back to face Horacio. “Mamá’s shopping for school supplies and tonight’s dessert with Juan José, Sofía and Mateo. Ana María’s out with friends. But they should all be back in the next few hours.”

Horacio nodded but remained taciturn, keeping to himself his strong suspicions that Alejandra had made sure she was the only one to greet them upon arrival.

“Come on, you can show Javier around whilst I make us something to eat and drink.”

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It had been a long time since Horacio’s last visit, but he could just about remember the layout of the place. He took Javier through the downstairs rooms, moving from the hall to the living areas and then the kitchen, which appeared tidier now than in his dreams.

The décor was all tiled or wooden floors and earthy tones, contrasting against large airy windows that made the landscape outside seem like a part of the finca. Evidence of three generations and two cats was scattered everywhere in the form of toys, games, videos, tapes, books, various coffee products and photographs from over the years. In one corner stood a home altar containing a large crucifix, prayer cards, rosary beads, candles, and a statue of Virgen de Chiquinquirá. In the opposite corner was a shelf full of old vinyl with Lucho Bermúdez taking pride of place, naturally.

Upstairs housed six bedrooms and three bathrooms, on account of the brood of four children, three adults and a spare room. The spare room was their last stop, where they dumped their luggage, sharing an amused glance at the double bed with a smaller fold-out one laid out in the corner with a pile of fresh sheets.

“As your guest, I take it I get the bigger one?” Javier asked with a spark of mischief in his eye.

“Well, technically, I’m also a guest here. And I did do all the driving.”

“Maybe I’ll, er, flip you for it later.”

Horacio merely raised a brow at the suggestion in Javier’s tone before they headed back downstairs.

They sat under cover of the terrace in the wildly growing garden, just in case the rain returned, which was always a distinct possibility in Manizales. An impressive platter of fruits was laid out on the table alongside freshly made coffee.

“So, how was the wedding?” Alejandra asked as she poured from a pot into three cups, the dark, rich aroma diffusing into the same crisp air the beans were grown and harvested.

Horacio accepted a cup with a thanks and passed the other to Javier. “It was nice. Good to see everyone again.”

“How’s Trujillo doing? It’s been strange seeing his face all over the news.”

Rather than his, Horacio thought with a strange lurch to the gut he wasn’t expecting. “He’s doing well; he’s a Major now. He deserves some happiness after everything.”

“He’s not the only one.”

Alejandra gave Horacio a pointed look, one he wasn’t ready to entirely meet, so he reached for a slice of guayaba instead.

“And Javier...I take it this is your first visit to Manizales?” she continued, offering him the fruit tray.

“Thanks. And yeah, it is. Never got the time to explore much beyond Bogotá and Medellín.” That wasn't exactly true, but Javier didn’t think talk of Cartagena or Tolú would be welcome right now.

“Well, I hope it won’t be your last.”

Horacio could feel another look directed his way but pretended not to notice it and sipped on his coffee.

Once they had eaten their weight in fruit, Alejandra had some business calls to make, leaving Javier and Horacio to unpack and freshen up before reconvening to make a start on dinner.

Of course, it had to be sudado de pollo. Horacio and Alejandra worked as a team, issuing sporadic instructions to Javier when necessary. But he was happy listening to them catch up and reminisce.

“That smells amazing already,” Javier said as he finely chopped onions across a wooden board, gesturing to the dishful of chicken thighs that Alejandra had just finished marinating.

“Mamá’s secret blend,” she replied as she set the dish aside to move on to dicing several tomatoes.

“Oh yeah? What would I have to do to get the recipe for that?” Javier reflexively caught Horacio’s eye across the kitchen.

“If we told you, we’d have to kill you.” Horacio shot Javier a warning look that indicated he was only half joking before focusing intently on cutting up a large batch of yuca and potatoes.

“Yeah, not even Fabián knows.”

“Papá never knew either. But he was happy for us or Mamá to make it for him.”

“My Mamá was the same with her Abuela’s morisqueta. Although, not long before she passed, she left me and my Pops the recipe.”

Alejandra paused her knife to look up at Javier, the surprise on her face soon transforming into recognition and sympathy. “I bet it’s delicious. You should make it for us some time.”

Now it was Horacio’s turn to stop, his eyes travelling from Alejandra to Javier and back again as the implication of his sister’s words hung as heavy in the kitchen as the aromatic spices of her marinade.

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Once the chicken and vegetables were all prepped and placed in a pot on the stove, the front door opened and closed, a loud chatter of voices soon filling the hallway.

Before Javier knew what was happening, he was being introduced to the children, shaking hands with Fabián, then kissing Elena’s cheek.

“Welcome, Javier. It’s good to put a face to a name at last,” Elena said, thoroughly taking in his appearance, apparently satisfied with what she saw.

At last. Javier wasn’t sure whether those words put him at ease or made him more nervous, but he managed to push such thoughts behind a smile. “Nice to meet you, and likewise.”

Javier had briefly seen pictures of Horacio’s family in the past. But he, too, spent time studying Elena now that he was close enough to smell the floral notes of her perfume. Neat oval glasses and a mix of dark and light grey hair cut short and choppy framed her sharp features, the shape of her nose and Cupid’s Bow matching those of her children.

“No thanks to this one here, mind you.” Despite her chastisement, Elena embraced her son tightly, reluctant to let go. “I think he’s been hiding from us.”

“You know it wasn’t like that, Mamá.” Although, over his Mamá’s head, Horacio gave Javier a sheepish look that said otherwise. “It is good to see you. And I’m sorry I left it so long.”

Upon greeting his nieces and nephews, Horacio was struck by how much they had all grown up since his last visit. Ana María was the spitting image of her mother. Juan José was several inches taller than Horacio and resembled his father more than ever. And Mateo and Sofía had presumably become resentful of all the matching outfits in their younger years of being twins, going out of their way to dress as differently from each other as possible. Once they had said their obligatory hellos, they scattered around the house and no doubt wouldn’t re-appear until dinner was ready.

Right on cue, when Alejandra brought out steaming and brimming plates full of sudado de pollo, everyone rapidly took their places around the table.

Silence fell as they tucked in, the warmth and comfort of childhood cocooning Horacio from what he knew was inevitable. A welcomed interruption from his thoughts came with a soft brush against his leg, his instincts telling him it was one of the cats issuing their own greeting. But he should have known better.

As they ate and endured the usual family small talk, Javier's foot became Horacio's anchor, subtle and soothing rubs against his ankle unseen under the table. Steady, grounding, home.

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Horacio carried the last few empty plates to the kitchen, where piles of dishes were already stacked high. He had left Javier with Juan José and Mateo, who were showing off the latest video games they had got for Christmas – and were comfortably beating Javier at them, too.

“I’ll wash; you dry. For old times’ sake,” Alejandra said without looking up from the sink where she was filling the basin with water and suds.

“Okay. On the condition we both tidy everything away afterwards.”

“Deal. You’ll just put it in the wrong place unsupervised anyway.”

Horacio swatted the tea towel he’d picked up in her direction, only for her to retaliate by flicking bubbles in his hair.

“We did okay with dinner, didn’t we? I haven’t made that in a long time,” Horacio said.

“You had a good teacher.”

“So did you.”

“Oh, I know. I think that’s why Papá always loved it. We were all in there somewhere.”

“Like our Christmas tamales.”

“Oh, yeah, he couldn’t get enough of those. Remember we always had to make an extra batch for him to take to work?”

“He said they were to share with his unit, but I’m not sure many made it that far.”

Now they were laughing as they worked in tandem, Alejandra changing the water as Horacio cleared the draining board, ready for the next load.

“Did you ever feel like you let him down?” Horacio asked after a long silence, both siblings seemingly waiting for the other to fill it.

“Of course. You know Papá didn’t approve of Fabián at first, right?”

“What?”

“You must’ve heard the arguments?”

“To be fair, there were plenty of arguments between you and Papá.”

“Yeah, and they were mostly about me daring to marry someone other than a cop.”

“That’s what it was about?”

“Mostly. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Fabián; I just think he had suitors picked out for me. People he knew he could trust.”

“But they got along in the end, didn’t they?”

“Once Papá had got over himself, yeah.” Alejandra let out a nostalgic laugh, which Horacio quickly joined in with. “He could be tough when he wanted to be, but…he meant well,” she settled on. “Once he saw how happy I was and how Fabián had taken after his father with the farm, he came around. It was never personal with Papá. It’s just the way he was.”

“So, you don’t think he’d be disappointed in me…” Horacio paused to swallow, his throat drier than a Texan summer. “For quitting?” he got out eventually.

Alejandra gave Horacio a look he’d seen countless times over the years. One only a big sister could give her little brother when she had to feign ignorance of something she had already discovered for herself. The perks of being the eldest.

“How did you know?”

“Horacio, are you really asking that of someone who has been surrounded by cops all her life?”

Horacio rolled his eyes but let Alejandra have that one unchallenged.

“I thought you might have been discharged on medical grounds, to be honest. I hoped you’d seen sense. Or maybe met someone.”

“I wasn’t discharged, but I negotiated a payout after my injury.”

Alejandra released a self-satisfied hum, a whisp of a smile threatening to break free from the corners of her mouth. “Two out of three’s not bad, I suppose.”

Horacio gulped hard enough for Alejandra to hear; he had no doubt about that. But no words followed, not even when he caught her eye.

“You love him, don’t you?” It wasn’t an accusation or an interrogation. In fact, it was barely even a question.

“Yes.” It caught Horacio off guard how fast he answered. How direct and concise he’d been.

“And he loves you.” There was no pretence of a question mark now, but rather a clarification of a well-established fact. A rite of passage both parties needed to hear.

“He does.”

“Enough to walk away from it all, too.”

Horacio nodded, scared the lump in his throat would give way to something else as his glassy gaze met Alejandra’s.

“His father – Chucho – owns a ranch in Laredo, Texas. That’s where I went after…” he trailed off, not wishing to dwell on the finer details of the ambush. “I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you. I hated lying after everything we’ve been through. But I figured the less you and Mamá knew, the safer it was.”

“I had a feeling you’d left Colombia. But Texas?” Alejandra blew out a low whistle. “That’s the part we’ll need to prepare Mamá for.”

“They’re Mexican-American. And the ranch is right on the border by the river.”

“I’d lead with that part if I were you. Not sure you can avoid a lecture about fraternising with Spanish colonisers, though. Twice.”

“I got that the first time I moved over there. But she went quiet when I reminded her Madrid was good enough for Simón Bolívar.”

Alejandra’s shoulders shook in unison with Horacio’s until a comfortable silence fell between them.

“So, you were there a whole year?”

“Just over. I couldn’t do much to help for the first few months – whilst this healed.” Horacio flexed his right arm to prove to Alejandra that everything was back in working order. “But it was good to have a routine eventually.”

“Wait a minute…you worked on the ranch?”

“No need to sound so surprised when you live here. I was actually pretty good at it. And I liked it.” Although Horacio understood and returned his sister’s bemusement because even he had shocked himself.

“No, I’m not. It’s just…oh, Horacio...” Alejandra broke off to bring her hand to his cheek, her brow creased, but her eyes caught between being on the brink of a smile and tears. “Look at you.”

Horacio made a show of wiping away the suds from his cheekbone, hoping he wouldn’t still have an audience afterwards. But no such luck. “It’s not what I expected to happen – any of it. But it just....felt right. I know that probably doesn’t make sense.”

“Actually, it makes perfect sense.”

“Does it?”

“Well, for starters, I can see the appeal. Obviously. Can’t blame you for going for a younger man, either. And taller.”

Horacio rolled his eyes and hoped his face didn’t look as hot as it felt. “Not by that much. On either count.”

“Hey, no judgment from me. But seriously, of course, it makes sense. I know we all used to joke about you being married to your job, but…after Juliana, I did wonder if there was more to it than that.”

“I think burying myself in work killed two birds with one stone.”

“It was killing you.”

“I know.”

“And Papá would have told you the same.”

A hollow laugh escaped Horacio’s throat, Martínez’s words from the wedding still ringing intrusively in his ears. “I’d have been kicked out of the force. He’d have made sure of that. And I wouldn’t have blamed him.”

“Right, because you were the first officer on Colombian soil to commit violence or be used as a political weapon.”

“He was against it, Alejandra. La Violencia was enough for anyone to see in a lifetime.”

But that was just another in a long line of civil wars. Even if his father's life hadn’t been cut short, he would have seen yet another bloody outbreak in which the state did more to perpetuate the death toll than bring peace to the country. And Horacio had plenty of blood on his hands. At least his Papá was spared witnessing that.

“And you don’t think he was ever put in a compromising position back then? You don’t think La Violencia was why he didn’t want the same for you? You won’t remember much, and Mamá and Papá never spoke about it around us, but I got pretty good at listening through doors.”

“He never did talk about it. Even when I was older.”

Not that he really needed to, Horacio conceded. Even though they were kept relatively safe and away from the violence in Medellín compared to other regions of Antioquia – particularly the rural parts – he had heard enough over the years to fill in the blanks.

He remembered his Mamá’s stories of helping the displaced, those who sought refuge in the city. Thousands who had been forced to flee the violence and start over again, often in makeshift housing on the outskirts, the irony never lost on Horacio that one of those neighbourhoods became Comuna 13. But for all his Mamá’s tales and the work she continued to do until she left for Manizales, his Papá never spoke about those years.

“He was protecting you. Like Mamá was with us after he died. Sometimes silence is easier.”

“I know. I get it. Before he died, the cocaine trade hadn’t got going in Colombia yet. It was mostly marijuana. But with FARC around and the gringos spreading their anti-communist propaganda, he knew it was a question of when, not if, another war was coming. I think he hoped things would be different this time.”

“You did what you had to do, Horacio. Just like he did. Just like every generation of our family did to survive. What’s done is done.”

“I’m not sure you’d say that if you knew everything.”

“You think I never heard any of the rumours out here? Or picked up a newspaper once in a while?”

“You never said anything.”

Alejandra shot Horacio a cutting glare, the kind he was an expert at delivering, but only a select few could get away with throwing back at him. “I knew you wouldn’t talk about it even if I asked.”

Horacio scoffed. Touché. “Not all of it was true.”

It was Alejandra’s turn to laugh. “Well, I kinda figured you weren’t dead after you called.”

“I don’t just mean the ambush.”

“I know,” she said briskly.

But Horacio couldn’t ignore the relief in her body language. Even though he understood it, a wave of shame hit him for even planting a seed of doubt in her – his older sister, the mother of his nieces and nephews – mind in the first place.

“But that’s all in the past now,” he concluded, shutting down his own train of destructive thought. “And you’re right; Papá’s not here. But Javier is.”

“So your future’s in Laredo, then.”

“Are you mad?”

“Am I mad that my little brother is finally getting his shit together and is head over heels in love? Oh, yeah, I’m livid.”

An inferno had spread across Horacio’s cheeks, and he struggled to think of a response. But luckily for him, Alejandra wasn’t done yet.

“It’s…safe, though, right? For you both to live together?”

“As safe as anywhere else. Every country has its problems. I’m sure there’ll always be people with something to say. But we’ve been careful.”

“Just promise me you’ll keep being careful.”

“We will, I promise.”

“I can’t guarantee I’ll convince Mamá to visit in the summer, though.”

“That’s fair. But you do think she’ll want to visit?”

“She might be strong, but we know what she lost – what we all lost. So, if there’s a chance for you to share your life with someone as she did with Papá, to be safe – to be happy after everything – yeah, I think she'll want to visit.”

“Do you think Papá would if he could?” Horacio knew it was a loaded grenade of a question and unfair to ask. But he couldn’t help himself.

Alejandra hesitated, seemingly aware she was between a rock and a hard place. “Maybe in his old age. Or if he knew Javier saved your life.”

“How did –?”

She expelled a comedically dramatic sigh. “Keep up, manito. When you called, you told me the DEA came after you that night. I don’t need to hold a badge to guess who that was.”

Horacio was banged to rights once more as he tried to recall the exact information he had relayed to Alejandra in the hours after the ambush; evidently, it was more than he thought.

“He – and his partner, Steve – went against orders and got suspended for helping me and my men.”

“So, they took a leaf out of your book then?”

“Something like that.”

Before Horacio could overthink it, he took a deep breath and told Alejandra everything. From the blackmail to his and Javier’s resignations to their year in Madrid, it all came tumbling out whilst she kept washing and he kept drying. Just like old times. Just like their Papá was in the next room along with their Mamá. And in so many ways, he always would be, not as a ghost of their past, but forever a part of their present and future.

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Arriving during the week had its advantages, as it wasn’t necessary for Horacio to make excuses to get an early night. Work and school beckoned in the morning for most of the household, so the evening had ended in a low-key fashion.

That was more than fine by Horacio after a long drive and an overdue heart-to-heart. He lay on his side, his back nestled into Javier’s chest in the centre of the spare room’s double bed. They made up the fold-out bed for pretences, but it was purely extra space to store their luggage.

A bedside lamp and hints of moonlight peaking around the edges of the curtains cast the room in soft shadows, the low murmur of a telenovela in one of the nearby bedrooms the only sound to be heard at this hour.

“How old were you there?” Javier asked, his voice muffled against Horacio’s shoulder where he’d temporarily paused his trail of kisses after picking out one of several framed photos on the wall.

“The one from Alejandra’s wedding? I’d have been 24.”

“Cute curls.” Javier’s nose nuzzled against the back of Horacio’s head, which was sadly lacking the same unruliness as in the photo.

“Fuck you.”

Javier sniggered. “Hey, I was being serious! They suit you. Plus…more to grab hold of.” He slid a hand into Horacio’s hair as his mouth resumed its work along bare skin.

Horacio’s back arched with a sigh as he leaned into Javier’s touch. “You know we can’t get carried away. Not here.”

“I know.” Of course, Javier understood. It was one thing for him to have sneaked in and out of the guesthouse back in Laredo; it was quite another to be under the same roof as Horacio’s whole family. But that didn’t stop the almost petulant tone in Javier’s voice. He was still human, after all.

“I promise we’ll make up for it once we leave.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

Despite their flirtation, exhaustion was thick in their throats and pressed heavily on their limbs, pushing them closer towards sleep as the butterflies in their stomachs finally settled.

“The wedding wasn’t that long after Papá died. Alejandra asked me to give her away instead. At first, I didn’t think I deserved to take Papá’s place. But I think she needed me there with her, so, I said yes.”

“Of course you did, and I bet she never forgot that.”

“No, and I’ll never forget tonight."

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It was still dark in the spare room when Javier stirred and untangled himself from Horacio as slowly as possible. He had woken up thirsty and threw on a precautionary pair of jeans before tiptoeing down the wooden staircase towards the kitchen.

The clock on the oven read 01:30am, so he wasn't expecting to find the spotlights above it switched on. He searched through the cupboards until he found a tumbler and filled it with water from the tap, taking large gulps until the glass was drained.

“So, you’re a night owl too, then?”

“Shit!” Javier hissed, spinning around with a sharp intake of breath, almost dropping the glass on the tiled floor.

“Sorry,” Alejandra whispered. “I was just reading before heading off to bed.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine. I just needed some water. Didn’t think anyone else would be up.” Javier was suddenly very aware of the fact he was standing half naked in the middle of the kitchen, Horacio’s necklace like a flashing beacon at his chest. “Obviously,” he added with an awkward huff, looking down at his state of semi-undress.

“Right,” Alejandra replied with a stifled laugh. “How about you avoid catching a chill whilst I find something a bit more…authentic than tap water?”

Once Javier came back downstairs with his chest now covered, Alejandra was sat at the kitchen table with two shot glasses and a bottle of aguardiente.

“Not sure my stomach can handle any more of that after the wedding.”

“Lightweight. And just think of it as an initiation.”

Javier sighed in defeat, accepting the challenge as he took a seat opposite Alejandra.

She unscrewed the bottle and tipped measures into each glass. “Wanna make this more interesting?”

“What do you have in mind?”

“Three shots, three questions each. But you can only ask a question after you’ve emptied your glass.”

Javier laughed for a second, unsure what he imagined Alejandra to be like, yet somehow, she surprised him anyway. “Okay. Already sounds better than every other icebreaker inflicted on me. Who goes first?”

“Guest’s choice.”

He stared down at his glass as though it was the barrel of a gun, remembering why he had eventually insisted whiskey was his and Horacio’s go-to drink. When he first arrived in Colombia, Horacio would offer him a shot, pouring liberally from the stash of aguardiente in his office drawer, and Javier accepted on multiple occasions. But it was over and done with like a spoonful of caustic medicine. At least whiskey could be drunk slower and delayed saying goodnight.

That wasn't the order of things now, though. So, Javier grabbed the bull by the horns and threw back his glass, wincing at the aniseed burn as it slid down his throat.

“New rule: you’ve got 30 seconds to come up with a question. Otherwise, you take another shot.”

“Alright, alright, I’m thinking.”

Alejandra’s gaze fell on the oven clock, ramping up the pressure. “10 seconds left…”

“Okay. I’ve got one. What was it like growing up with a younger brother?”

“Annoying, obviously. Especially after he got the highest grade in his English class. I don’t know where he picked them up, but he knew all the swear words. Of course. He drove me crazy testing them out.”

“He did that to my old partner, Steve – his Spanish isn’t great, and Horacio sure liked to remind him whenever he got the chance.”

“Sounds about right. No wonder he liked you – best of both worlds.”

“Maybe.” Javier knew what Alejandra meant, but it didn’t stop heat from spreading through his cheeks regardless.

“He was generally pretty quiet at school,” Alejandra continued, "but not afraid to take the lead…or break a few rules.”

“Again, I’m not surprised.”

“Nope.” They both laughed at that. “He always liked to be moving, though. Doing something with his hands. Or playing sports – he was a good runner. We used to race each other around Jardín Botánico, and he would always beat me. I think he already knew he was in training for the Academy. So, obviously, he was accepted. No doubt some thought he got a free pass, but he was determined to prove himself. Then he had to grow up.”

The joviality faded abruptly from Alejandra’s face, transforming into a wistful smile.

“We both did. But at least I’d had more time with Papá. Good job I did have those few years to myself ‘cos Horacio followed him around like a shadow. Until he couldn’t. Then he thought he had to be the man of the house. Even when there were two much more qualified women for the job.”

“He thought it was his duty."

“Yeah. He did.” There was something akin to awe in how Alejandra looked at Javier, as though she was simultaneously taken aback and impressed that someone summed up and understood her brother so accurately and succinctly.

“Isn’t it your turn, now?” Javier asked after a moment of silence.

Without further hesitation, Alejandra downed her shot. “Why Colombia?”

“Why not Colombia?” He tried a feeble laugh but knew that wouldn't cut it. “I studied Gabriel García Márquez in high school. Although, can’t say I really got him at the time. Took me another try when I was older.”

Now he thought about it, Javier wasn’t convinced he exactly got him the second time around either, considering García Márquez’s views on extradition aligned fiercely with Horacio’s. But that was the luxury of hindsight.

“By then, my Mamá had long since passed, my fiancée had just become my ex, and I had no fucking clue what I was doing with my life. Guess I needed to get lost in someone else’s problems for a while.”

“Tell me about it.” Alejandra held a book up in the air that had been abandoned on the table since Javier joined her.

“Smart move. My teacher loved telling us how García Márquez moved to Mexico and wrote One Hundred Years of Solitude over there. And with how things went down in Laredo, I could see the appeal of starting over in another country. Mexico was…too close to home. The drug war was getting out of hand. More and more agents were being transferred. And what’s the line?” Javier broke off, eyes cast towards the ceiling as he licked his lips in concentration. “‘We came’, they said, ‘because everyone is coming’.”

Alejandra let a pause of bewilderment pass between them as she studied Javier with intrigue. “You’re not at all like the other gringos he’s worked with in the past.”

“Did he bring any of them home to his family?”

“No. You’re the first. As I’m sure you're aware.”

“Maybe.”

“Drink up.”

Javier did as he was told, repressing a cough as the potent liquid worked its magic. “Why did you choose farm life over being a cop?”

Alejandra laughed a little too loudly, considering the time. “There are other career choices, you know.”

Javier gasped. “There are?”

“Hard to believe, isn’t it? But that’s not quite how it went for me. The farm came with Fabián. They’re sort of a package deal. I’m sure you can understand that.” She threw Javier a knowing smile. “But I ruled out being a cop years before I moved here or met Fabián. I knew from Papá that women in the force were few and far between back then. They’re still pretty scarce now. I wasn’t up for putting myself in the firing line being a General’s daughter. They never would have respected me or believed I got there on my own merit. I didn’t want to spend my life trying to gain anyone's approval.”

“Makes sense. It’s not easy in the force if you’re…different from the rest."

“Exactly. I’m not sure it’s what Papá even wanted for me anyway. Because he knew what it’d be like. Then there was Mamá with her social work. She was in her element. Always fighting someone’s corner, especially during the suffrage movement. I think I was the odd one out in the family, ‘cos everyone else seemed to have…a calling except for me. So, I studied, got a business degree, became a buyer for various companies and ended up in the coffee industry. And the rest is history.”

“Good for you. And I guess that explains Horacio’s, er, distaste for a badly made cup of coffee.”

“Yep. He’s got no excuse. And neither do you anymore.”

“I’ll bear that in mind. Your turn.” Javier took the bottle this time and filled Alejandra’s glass.

She downed it in one go. “¿Por qué no un llanero ahora que has descartado ser policía?” (Why not a llanero now you’ve ruled out being a police officer?)

“¿Por qué no un vaquero?” (Why not a vaquero?) Javier corrected with a glint in his eye that Alejandra returned with an eye roll. “Like you said…there are other jobs. That one was just never for me. I need more variety day-to-day. Like I’m making a bigger difference somehow. But preferably without the pretty fucking significant risk of death or blackmail.”

“A fair demand.”

“Right? It’s not like I’m asking for a raise.”

“When I moved here, I didn’t know where life was taking me, especially when the kids came along. I couldn’t keep my old job because of all the travelling…and being a mother was the priority until they started school. It took me a while to find my place on the buying and selling side of the business. So, all I’m saying is, things might get clearer once you’re settled back in Laredo.”

“I’ll drink to that.” Javier raised his glass and nodded his thanks to Alejandra, touched by her unprompted advice.

His third and final question had arrived, and the pressure to make it a good one pressed uncomfortably on his increasingly fuzzy head. “If your father was here now, what would you say to him?”

For a brief second, Javier feared he had overstepped some forbidden and invisible line and been overfamiliar with someone he only really knew by proxy at this stage.

But whilst Alejandra’s smile was permanently stained with traces of grief, warmth flickered then grew in her charcoal eyes. “I’d tell him we’re fine. That we miss him and wish he’d come back for good but that he needn’t worry. Because even though Mamá didn’t always get things right, she steered us through it as best she could. And we didn’t turn our backs on the world. That we found love in the dark.”

Alejandra sniffed and wiped the back of her hand across her nose. “Sorry. I think it’s the alcohol.”

“No, don’t be sorry.” Javier paused to clear his throat, blinking his vision back into focus. “It was beautifully said.” His hand reached for hers across the table, hoping again that he hadn’t gone too far.

But she let his hand rest there until she shook her head like a wet dog and poured her final shot. “Same question to you about your mother, obviously,” she said before downing the aguardiente in one.

Javier scoffed. “Well, I guess I deserved that.” He took his time, collecting his thoughts as though he was preparing an important speech. As though he’d been trying to find the right words for most of his life – and how rarely he’d succeeded.

“I’d tell her I miss her morisqueta. I’d tell her Pops visits her every week. But then I think she already knows that. Same way I think she made sure he never re-married.”

Javier couldn’t help but laugh, seeing with perfect clarity where his own loyal streak came from when his Pops was still as devoted to Mariana as the day they married. Siempre tuyo was no exaggeration.

“I’d make sure she knew he wasn’t alone, though. That he was known as Don Chucho to most in Laredo. That she’d be proud of him for growing the community she helped start. I’d brag about all the tamales we’ve made and quote her favourite poems. I’d introduce her to Horacio.”

He envisaged showing her Horacio’s poetry book, knowing that all it would take was for her to read Javier’s message in the opening pages to understand everything about who they were to each other. He’d even dreamed of it, waking with a ridiculous hope that she had somehow intercepted it.

“She sounds as incredible as your father. I hope one day I can thank him for taking my little brother under his wing when he needed it the most.”

“I’m sure that could be arranged.”

“I can’t – and don’t want to – imagine where he would have ended up without either of you, to be honest. He told me about the ambush…and everything else. And even though it doesn’t feel nearly enough, I just want to say...thank you.”

At first, Javier could only nod and swallow the lump bobbing at the base of his throat. “He did the same for me. It wasn’t easy walking away from my job, don’t get me wrong, but it was different for him. He felt like he’d betrayed Colombia and his Papá. Yet he did it anyway.”

“When it’s the right person, the sacrifices are worth it. And I can’t think of anyone more worthy of wearing that.” Alejandra’s sightline had fallen to Javier’s neck. His chest may have now been covered, but the silver chain still poked out from beneath the seam of his shirt.

She poured them a bonus shot each and raised her glass. “Welcome to the family.”

#Narcos fic #Narcos #Javier Peña #Horacio Carrillo #Carrillo #Javier Peña x Horacio Carrillo #Pedro Pascal #Maurice Compte #Narcos fanfic #Narcos fanfiction #Narcos fan fic #My Fan Fic #My Narcos Fic

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syrikif · 7 months

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Gamer Etiquette

Kodzuken x Streamer!Y/N

Pairing: Kenma Kozume x Fem!Reader

Genre: SMAU, Written Elements, Strangers to Lovers, Romance, Fluff, Humor, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Streamer/Youtuber AU

Upcoming content creator/streamer, Y/N, has gone viral for lots of things. Her infamous dumb moments, her blended cookie recipe (which tastes better than it sounds), the way she rages at her friends during games, and about a hundred more.

But her most recent viral moment? Accidentally knocking famous streamer, Kodzuken, off the Bedwars map and making him lose his two year winning streak.

Now with more attention (and hate) than she ever asked for, her only option left is to go to the source: the man himself, Kenma Kozume.

Previous | Masterlist | Next

Chapter 2 (b): Boredom

Word Count: 2187

It’s been an hour since Kenma started streaming, and he’ll admit that he’s starting to get a bit bored. He usually enjoys playing Bedwars on stream but he’s been doing it so often lately that it’s beginning to get repetitive.

“What the hell is this guy doing,” he asks as he notices someone start building a tower of blocks on the emerald island. Kenma sprints over to the player, jumping up to knock him off the tower.

“Hype_boy2000 was killed by Kodzuken!”

“People that play minecraft are brainless sometimes I swear to god,” he hears Kuroo mutter in his headset.

Despite living together, his best friend usually only joins the stream via voice call, so he can interact with Kenma’s viewers and still be comfortable in his own room. Kenma honestly actually prefers this, it’s easier to hear him and he doesn’t have to worry about his roommate doing anything dumb in front of the camera.

He shakes his head, “You play minecraft.”

“Exactly!”

Kenma snorts, taking a quick glance at his chat to see how his audience is feeling.

Kodzuken is a GOD

People who play mc are losers🙄🙄🙄 (I play mc)

I’m not bad at the game but watching Kenma makes me feel like I am 💀

He looks bored 😕

His eyebrows furrow then because he’s almost completely positive that he’s hiding his feelings well enough for no one to notice. Apparently he’s not.

He feels something tug at his neck and briefly looks down to see what it is, resisting a smile at the sight of one of the younger cats, Mars, playing with the drawstring of his hoodie. “Do we wanna try playing something else after this?”

“Why? You gettin’ bored of winning all the time,” his roommate teases and Kenma has to force himself not to react to his words because he might just be joking but he’s hit the nail right on the head.

Kenma pretends he doesn’t hear him as he kills the last player (winning himself yet another game),“I’ll go one more round and then we can figure out something else to play.”

OMG do you guys see the paw????

SHOW US THE CATS

We wanna see the cats

“I think the only reason you’re famous is because we have a million cats,” Kuroo announces and Kenma can almost see the accompanying eye roll.

“I’m fine with that,” he shrugs. “But I guess I can show you guys the cats before we start.”

He changes his scene in OBS so that it’s only showing his camera, making sure he’s in full view before he scoops up the bengal cat still sitting in his lap. “This is Mars, we got him like a month ago. How old is he? Um like five months I think?”

He sets him back down on his desk, “There’s only like four cats in here right now by the way.”

ONLY FOUR???

How many cats does he have lol

“I think there’s like fifteen in the house right now,” Kenma’s head unconsciously tilts as he silently counts all their cats. “No- wait. Seventeen now, plus however many Minnie will have when she gives birth.”

“Yeah but don’t worry we have three different rooms in the house for them, plus the loft and then the house itself is three stories.” Kuroo chimes in, defending Kenma’s apparent obsession despite the fact that he supposedly doesn’t care. “And then we have like ten cat towers and eight litter robots.”

EIGHT?????

Oh so they’re rich rich

Half of those litter boxes would pay all my bills 💀

“Anyways um-,” Kenma pauses to reach for the orange cat currently laying in the cat bed beside his desk. “This is Enji, she’s been with us for three years now and she’s five years old.” Enji meows in disapproval as Kenma picks her up and tries to show her to the camera. She fights against him, her claws digging into his forearms and making him grimace. “She doesn’t like being picked up.”

As if on cue Enji jumps out of his arms and lays right back down in the bed, eyeing Kenma like he’s just committed some sort of grave sin.

“Well now that she hates me,” he shoots the camera a look, “Let’s go grab another one.”

He stands from his chair, taking a cursory glance throughout the room to spot any other animals lingering. “Oh-,” he notices a ball of fluff hiding in the cat tower sitting in the corner of his streaming room.

Miomi is much more willing to be picked up, her purrs echoing throughout the room as he cradles her in his arms and walks back to his desk. “This is Miomi, she’s a ragdoll obviously.”

“She’s my favorite,” Kuroo suddenly chimes in. “Literally so cuddly I love it.”

“She is very sweet,” Kenma agrees as he strokes the cat’s stomach. She blinks up at him slowly, her purrs lessening as she drifts back to sleep. “We’ve had her the longest, ever since we moved in.”

Kenma gently moves to set her back into the cat tower, to which she stretches only once before immediately falling right back asleep. He then looks up towards the cat shelves he’d put on his walls a few years ago, snorting when he spots exactly who he was expecting to find up there.

“Come here little buddy,” he coaxes the animal into his hands who meows in protest as his little paws reach out to cling onto his shoulders. And Kenma is just barely able to move into the camera frame before he starts practically screaming. “This is void,” he pauses to lightly pat his head, knowing that usually helps to calm him down. “Any guesses as to why we named him that?” The question is entirely rhetorical.

“Dude he’s like blending into your fucking sweatshirt,” Kuroo suddenly laughs.

Kenma leans forward to look at the viewfinder of his camera, “Holy shit he is.”

Void starts meowing again at the change in position and Kenma can feel himself flinch from how loud it is. “Hey hey hey, it’s okay. You’re okay,” he swiftly places him back on the shelf.

“That’s all the cats in here,” Kenma tells his viewers as he sits back down. “I might do a full video introducing everyone but it would just take a while to film because a few of them like going outside a lot.”

“Yeah I haven’t seen Binx inside in like two months,” his roommate further adds.��

“I see him in the backyard a lot but he’s usually sitting up on the fence,” Kenma notes as he reopens the game on his stream.

Kenma goes outside???

He went out to touch grass

Binx is such a funny name lol

He ignores their jests, running in game to play his final round of bedwars for the night. “How about a three v. three?”

“Oh yeah you haven’t played in teams in a while have you?”

“A couple months I think,” he responds as he selects the game. “What do we wanna play after this?” The streamer directs his gaze to the chat while he waits for his character to load into the game.

“I was thinking something like Spiderman, or we could play Stardew with Kuro,” he adds just as he’s spawned into the map.

“Um, hello?” His roommate’s voice is loud with disbelief.

“Hi.” Kenma takes a moment to collect as much iron and gold he needs before sprinting to get a stone sword and some wool.

“Do I get a say in this at all?”

Kenma feels his eyebrows furrow, “You realize that you’re here solely for the viewers entertainment right?”

He begins speed-bridging across to the emerald island as he hears his best friend scoff. “Fuck you.”

“No thank you,” Kenma hums as he finishes off the bridge and jumps into one of the emerald spawners.

“Sometimes I wonder why we’re friends,” while the words themselves are mean, both men know that Kuroo is entirely joking as he says it.

Kenma subconsciously nods, “All the time.”

He spots another player from a distance and moves to crouch behind a pile of blocks next to the spawner. “I think my strat is to just kinda run and kill everyone and let my teammates worry about the bed,” he explains.

The player passes by then and Kenma manages to take him out within a few simple hits, as he usually does. He looks over at the chat, expecting the same praise he always receives after getting a kill but is entirely thrown off by seeing a completely random topic of conversation instead.

AHHHHH IT’S Y/N

Most unexpected duo ever💀

I was literally watching her stream twenty minutes ago

Wtf is happening lol

“Y/N?” Kenma is more than confused at this point, completely lost as to who or what his chat is obsessing over.

“What’s that? Is that like the name of the map or something?”

Kenma’s in slight shock for a moment at his question because there’s no way he lives with someone as stupid as Kuroo. “You’re literally an idiot. Look at chat, dumbass.”

He decides to start making his way back to his team’s island, building a bridge to the diamonds to collect any that spawned on his way. “Oh she’s a streamer too apparently.”

“Oh really?” He turns his character to look in the general direction of their island just out of simple curiosity, only to see something totally unexpected.

He watches as one of his teammate’s suddenly jumps out from behind a giant pyramid of blocks, running towards an encroaching enemy player and knocking him into the void before they’re even able to make it onto the island.

But that’s not what makes Kenma stop and stare. It’s when the player starts jumping around, punching the air and spinning in circles as they seemingly celebrate the kill, that Kenma pauses. “What the fuck are they doing,” he hears himself mutter as he finally remembers to finish bridging to their island.

GIVE HER THE STUFF

She needs supplies to cover the beeeeedddd

Y/N kinda sweaty ngl

He blinks, “That’s Y/N?”

He runs over to her, abiding to his chat and throwing the stuff he collected on the ground in front of her (it’s not like he’s going to need any of it anyways). But she just stares at him, and he realizes that she must be dumber than he initially thought because she definitely doesn’t know what he’s doing.

He tries his best to non-verbally tell her to pick it up - which takes longer than Kenma would like - but she finally understands and runs forward to grab the items. “Holy shit,” he mutters to himself as he turns and sprints back the way he came.

He decides to start getting the beds of the enemy teams and he’s in the middle of killing the last player on the purple team when he sees a highlighted message pop up in his game chat.

“Thanks :)”

He knocks the player off, hearing the tell-tale sound of their death as he opens game chat to look back at the message. “Shouldn’t she be paying attention to the game?” He says it like he’s annoyed, and he’s sure that it comes off that way to his viewers judging by their reactions to his words.

But he’s almost certain that Kuroo is able to tell that he’s not (he’s the opposite really) when he teasingly says, “Aw, she said thank you Kenma.”

“Shut up.”

And despite always being notoriously calm on stream, Kenma’s face suddenly feels warm.

~~~

“You guys saw that right?” Kenma is in disbelief as he spectates Y/N, who’s currently just standing and not doing anything to stop the enemy player running towards her. “What the fuck is she doing now? Is her game frozen?”

Y/N doesn’t react at all as she’s being attacked and Kenma can feel his jaw literally drop when she’s abruptly killed.

“Red Team has been eliminated!"

He sits back in his chair, his eyes wide and mouth still agape as he tries to process what just happened.

He didn’t really care when she knocked him off the bridge, was even slightly impressed that she was willing to take down her own teammate to survive. But that all changed when she didn’t even try to fight back against the other player.

“We just lost,” he whispers, mostly to himself, and the sentence feels foreign on his tongue.

He can hear his roommate saying something over the headset but he can’t quite understand what it is, nor does he currently care enough to try to figure it out.

“We lost,” he repeats, louder this time and it’s insane because he feels like laughing.

He can feel himself grinning as his character loads back into the lobby, “I can’t believe we actually just lost.”

And he feels almost giddy as he watches his win streak fall all the way back down to zero; because, for the first time in two years, something is different.

And never has he ever been so happy to lose.

Taglist: @crazy-people-are-here, @existential-traveller, @peachesncats, @royalz658

Any names in bold are unable to be tagged.

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dodgerkedavra · 4 months

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my 2023 year in review: completed works edition

I got tagged by @oknowkiss and feel VERY presumptuous tagging anyone else LOL but here's all the stuff I did in 2023, less a couple secret/unrevealed fics!

Completed Fics

February

Good for You || Drarry || 4.5k || E

Draco has only ever wanted to be a very good boy. He has no intention of blurting that out to Harry Potter at pub night.

April

Now I Know In Part || Drarry || 39.8k || E

Harry Potter is the savior of the Wizarding World. Draco Malfoy is a reformed Death Eater turned Ministry Curse-Breaker. Five years after the War, they're brought together by another mysterious curse. Only this time, Harry's the one who needs saving. More specifically, he needs Draco. They have one month to break the curse, and the clock is ticking.

May

If You Miss It, Try Again || Drarry || 23.9k || E

The healers promised Draco he wouldn't get pregnant a second time. They were wrong. And this time, he's pregnant with his best friend and roommate Harry Potter's baby. Nine months is all he has to figure it out.

June

In the Presence of My Enemy || Drarry || 41.1k || E

All Harry knows is that Sectumsempra is for enemies. He doesn’t know that it will bind him to Draco Malfoy, for better or worse, ‘til death do them part. Only one of them will survive, and they’re running out of time to choose.

A Mist That Appears (For a Little Time) || Drarry || 22.6k || E

“Give me November, and I’ll teach you to be happy. There’s only one condition. You must swear on your magic that you won’t fall in love with me.” Harry’s so tired. His whole body hurts. If Malfoy can teach him how to be happy, then... “Okay.” Harry is working himself to death. Draco only has November to help him. Falling in love is strictly against the rules.

July

A Page with No Space || Drarry || 0 words, Enchanted Journals || M

In a desperate bid to get Malfoy to talk to him, Harry Potter slips him an enchanted notebook during sixth year. Five years later, he finally gets an answer.

I Swear I'll Keep You With Me || Drarry || 3.5k || E

Harry Potter doesn't mean to drop the Snitch in Malfoy Manor. In order to get it back, he makes an Unbreakable Vow to keep Draco Malfoy with him. It's the chandelier's fault, really.

August

Lover, Where Do You Live? || Drarry || 38.5k || E

Harry Potter has been running away since the War, disappearing into his job as a freelance curse-breaker. Work is his life. Home doesn't exist. He's about to disappear again when he runs into Death Eater-turned-Healer Draco Malfoy. It's supposed to be a one-night-stand. They're not supposed to pine for each other. Harry's not supposed to sleep with Draco a second time. Or a third. Or a fourth. But when a nasty curse sends Harry back into Draco's arms, he might be forced to admit that home's been waiting for him all along... Or: Harry wants to go home. Draco wants to be a home. It's hard to say it out loud.

September

Starlight in the Void || Drarry || 40.4k || E

An overgrown cottage in an unassuming seaside village is the perfect place for Harry Potter’s fresh start. Harry gets two weeks of peace before he hears rumors of a mysterious hermit wizard who lives in a stone tower in the woods. He’s dismayed to discover it’s none other than Draco Malfoy. He’s even more dismayed to find that his life is once again in danger, and only Malfoy can save him.

Angel, Can't You See? || Drarry, Pansmione || 15.6k || E

Harry Potter has been missing for two and a half years when the Wizengamot passes a Marriage Law during an emergency session in the dead of night. When morning comes, Hermione Granger finds herself assigned to none other than Draco Malfoy. It’s hideously unjust, but simple: she must stay at Malfoy Manor for seventy-two hours, after which she and Draco will be married in a Ministry-supervised ceremony. Hermione stays at the Manor for seventy-two hours. As for the rest of the Ministry’s plan…

October

Fall on the Earth || Drarry || 15.3k || E

Harry Potter hates being separated from Draco Malfoy. Not because he's in love with him, for Merlin's sake! Because they're Auror Partners. One time is all it takes for Draco to be attacked with an illicit potion. Until it wears off, Harry's job is taking care of his partner. Harry thinks the effects of the potion can't possibly be as serious as Robards says. He thinks wrong.

November

Nemeses with Benefits || Drarry || 0 Words/Socmed || M

Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter don't like each other. It's just a convenient arrangement.

The Scent of Soft Rains || Drarry || 20k || E

For a single moment in the middle of being burned alive by dragonfire, the heat so intense it feels freezing and the pain so vast it’s the size of the sky, Harry is relieved. He won’t have to wonder what it’s like anymore.

December

I Was Late (You Were Early) || Drarry || 12.1k || E

Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy make a pact that if they’re both still single on New Year’s Day in ten years’ time, they’ll get married. It’s a long ten years.

So that was at least a couple stories in 2023!!

#drarry #completed #2023 #year in review

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eriexplosion · 2 months

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MOVING FROM SOME EASY EPISODES TO THE HARDEST. OUTPOST.

Do y'all remember the hype for this episode like we knew it was THE Crosshair episode and everyone was absolutely thirsting for it.

"A new friend is made on a harsh and unforgiving outpost planet" WHO WROTE THIS SUMMARY?

Like yes technically accurate as it doesn't specify that the new friend survives the friendship.

Crosshair clearly paying much more attention to the regs these days, at this point I do think he's pretty much had all his bullshit beaten out of him when it comes to thinking he's better than anyone else. Just in time for Crosshair's Worse Time Parade to start.

Much like Hemlock, Lieutenant Nolan is established as absolute garbage the instant he sees Crosshair taking like two seconds to breathe out of his helmet and tells him he's out of uniform. If The Bad Batch can do one thing it's write a man that sucks.

AND THEN HE MAKES IT WORSE WITH "I DON'T LIKE USED EQUIPMENT"

Literally would kill this man myself and he's been on screen for 30 seconds

THE ICE VULTURE <3 OUR BOY'S NEW MOTIF <3

MAYDAY. MAYYYYYDAYYYYYY.

HE IS HERE!

God Mayday was complicated because like I loved him from the moment I saw him but also like, coming into this episode just logistically we knew anyone that showed Crosshair a hint of kindness was almost certainly going to get killed, so Mayday is loved for the exact thing that put him on the path to narrative doom. Reinforcements or no reinforcements, it doesn't matter, Mayday was never leaving Barton IV alive.

They waited 36 rotations. 4 days longer than Crosshair was left to nearly starve on a platform. If I remember correctly (I'm not there yet) Crosshair says the trip took 2 hours. None of their lives were worth two hours.

THE WAY MAYDAY HAS TWO, TWO MEN LEFT UNDER HIS COMMAND. ONLY TWO. HE HAD TO WATCH THE REST ALL DIE UNDER HIS WATCH. I AM SO FUCKING UNWELL ABOUT HIM.

I really love the name Hexx btw

"Respect is something to be earned." And immediately Nolan goes nuclear to insult him because he wasn't instantly given unconditional deference.

YEP IT WAS TWO HOURS. TWO HOURS OUT OF THE WAY.

I am going to scream from the layers of unfair this is.

The way Mayday's voice softens a touch when left alone with Crosshair though, always gentler with another clone.

I'm still not over the LONG pause after Mayday introduces himself, like Crosshair is trying to dig past the shields he put up between himself and his situation to remember his own name. He probably hasn't heard it at all since Cody.

Mayday looked at Crosshair and apparently felt the desperation for company rolling off him in smothering waves because he instantly is just like 'you're under my wing now'

That he's been out here over a year meaning that the Empire has been established for over a year is a lot to take in like god Crosshair has been away from home for so long.

"You'll freeze to death in that armor" He is like 10 seconds from wrapping Crosshair in a blanket I swear to god I'm only slightly projecting.

"Vicious creatures, but you have to admire 'em. They find a way to survive." GOD I LOVE THAT LINE. ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC.

Using the explosion through heat vision to completely screw Crosshair's up for the shot was such a good excuse to have him just wound the guy instead of kill him, lol.

Still was surprised to see a blood trail in this cartoon, but sure they can't show us any sign of Tech's body right (YES I AM STILL ON THIS AND WILL BE UNTIL THEY SHOW US THE BOY)

Goddddd him putting Hexx and Veetch's helmets next to all of the others. His very last brothers, the men he was responsible for, god I am in tatters about it. Every second of this episode is just. Grief and Pain.

"Remind me not to die on your watch" Don't worry you're the only person that's been nice to him in months he will literally drag you through hell to save your life. Crosshair just has what we call "Something is wrong with him" disease and all of his words pass through the cortex that makes him rude before getting to you.

My thoughts on this mine disarming scene are Many but let it just be said that I still cannot believe they put this on my screen, it was made explicitly for me to be feral to.

Mayday has learned fast how to talk to Crosshair though, gotta give him some snark back.

"They're... gone." "And here we are. The survivors."

GOD I AM UNHINGED ABOUT THIS.

"If I don't hear a boom then I'll know it worked." "Glad you're confident in your work." "Oh I'm confident, I'm just not stupid."

I just love this back and forth dynamic that they hit perfectly and immediately.

Hey Crosshair actually wins a hand to hand fight all he has to do is sneak up on them and not give them the opportunity to actually hit him back.

Shout out to the guy whose first instinct was to try and RUN MAYDAY OVER WITH A CAR like it didn't work but impressive ingenuity.

Clones dying to guard the gear intended for their replacements god it makes me ILL.

"We're good soldiers. We followed orders. And for what?"

The entire thing is designed to drive a wedge into Crosshair's brain and break through the thick shield he's built around himself where he is so sure if he just follows orders Well Enough maybe he can make everything he's done and lost worth it in the end but he can't because he never had a future in the Empire and no amount of sunk cost fallacy will change that.

AND JUST IN TIME FOR HIS EPIPHANY WE GET THE AVALANCHE.

Literally would be so fascinating to see exactly what was running through Mayday's head when he chose to push Crosshair out of the way of the rock instead of jumping to safety himself. He just met this guy, he's not technically responsible for him, but Mayday has lost every single soldier he was in command of, sole survivor of his unit, and he finally, finally had the opportunity to save someone. If he only saves one person, maybe he's done something worthwhile.

And honestly, Crosshair is trying to do the same back to him. Just Mayday dies knowing he succeeded and Crosshair lives knowing he failed.

I am fucking destroyed by this episode by the way like it is so unbearably good and also tragic as hell.

Mayday trying to get Crosshair to leave him behind and the music when Crosshair decides absolutely the fuck not. That they have one helmet between them and Crosshair put it on Mayday's head and not his own.

THE MUSIC AS CROSSHAIR IS SO DETERMINED TO DRAG HIM BACK AND THE ICE VULTURE OVERHEAD MY GOD.

The moment of them huddling together in a tiny little hideaway in the rock ends me too, like, images that stick in my head forever.

And despite everything Crosshair made it he got Mayday back to the outpost alive, he did everything to accomplish the impossible and it should have been enough, but it wasn't all because Nolan doesn't value either of their lives enough to even lift a single finger for Mayday.

Like Crosshair accomplishing the impossible through sheer stubbornness only to have it pulled away at the last second I am in AGONY.

HE GAVE MAYDAY HIS SNIPER RIFLE TO USE AS A CRUTCH FOR GODS SAKE

Crosshair taking Mayday's helmet off and at least giving him one last moment of human connection before it's over

The voice acting in this moment is absolutely unbelievable but especially on 'Help him' like give DBB all the money in the world because I was shattered.

THE FACT THAT THEY MADE US LISTEN TO MAYDAY GURGLE COUGH OUT HIS LAST BREATH AND SEE THE INSTANT HIS EYES ROLL BACK AND CLOSE

"He served his purpose as a soldier of the Empire" OWN WORDS THROWN BACK INTO HIS FACE LIKE A FUCKING PUNCH

The way Crosshair's words drop back down into a growl as he says "You could have saved him." is so good too.

The music as it all reaches its boiling point, as he sees the vulture's shadow, then Mayday's body, then the vulture itself just. Oh god. This episode is a masterpiece and I'm still not over it. I don't think I'll ever be over it.

Like I still cannot BELIEVE we got this shot? The rock wings? I'm? Inconsolable?

Crosshair really probably thought he was going to die right there next to Mayday and honestly I think he was okay with it, in the worst way possible. Also him unconscious here is literally THE most relaxed I think we've ever seen his face.

But because this is only the start of Crosshair's Life Getting Much Much Worse he gets to live and wake up in a horrible science lab!

The sedative injection is much worse given the way that they torture him later.

"Cooperate and you might survive."

Literally one of the best episodes of anything I've ever seen I still cannot believe that we got it, truly. This episode is like 95% of the reason I have faith in the writers pulling through on the Tech Issue because I don't think anyone that gave Crosshair this episode arc would actually kill Tech off in such a stupid way on a completely pointless side quest.

I'm still on the rock wings and will be until further notice.

#the bad batch rewatch

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raethethey · 1 year

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Tucked Away Tattoos

Member: Lee Minho x gn!reader

Word Count: 3087

Genre: fluff, friends to lovers, tattoo adventure!

Warnings: swearing, general anxiety, small existence crisis attack lol

A/N: I love this. I think I'll always love this. This was so fun to write even though it is now 7am (haha my sleep schedule hates me). Thank you loml for requesting this @labyrinthgate <3 I hope ya'll enjoy!

Part of @the-writing-nook's monthly prompt for January: write something set in a small town. Go check out the other ones here! (link to be added when the masterlist comes out at the end of the month)

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

Summer break was right around the corner. You had so many plans to adventure and get out there. First on your list was to get a tattoo. You had been thinking about getting one for years, something special to you and meaningful enough that if your parents ever found out (you, an adult with your own money) got one they wouldn’t absolutely hate it. (They’d still frown at you because they thought you ruined your career life forever, but it’s not like they could do anything about it either.) So you called up your best friend, Minho, called the tattoo shop you’d researched for weeks, and made an appointment for the first weekend after finals.

Time flew by fast. Maybe too fast. Your appointment was approaching and your nerves were on the fritz. Were you really doing this? Really getting something completely and totally permanent (besides the laser removal options)?

Yes. There was no turning back now.

Minho pulls up to your dorm building in his beat-up family car, the one you snuck out of the house in so many times in high school, the one that took you to all your club activities in middle school, the one you threw up in during elementary school. He rolls down the window and as always lays down on the horn, loud enough and long enough everyone in a five-mile radius turns their head to see what’s going on.

Jogging to the car as quick as you can, you hop in and slam the door shut, punching his arm, “Shut up, you menace! You’re going to get the police called.”

He just laughs, putting the car in drive and turning on the radio to a quiet volume; it’s a level just for background noise. “So, where is this little tattoo shop you’ve decided to throw your money at?”

“Just outside of town, kinda near that cat café we went to last month,” you say, pulling up directions. It’s only a twenty-minute drive from the university near the small lighthouse at the bay.

“Oh, I’ve been there! It has plants everywhere and this cute little shop cat that none of the artists know where it came from, they just accept that it lives there now.” He turns out of the parking lot making his way to the main road, the GPS silently telling him which directions to turn.

Quirking your eyebrow, you turn toward him as much as you can while being buckled, “You’ve been to a tattoo shop? Without me? Traitor.”

He rolls his eyes, “Jisung wanted another piercing, six wasn’t enough apparently.”

“Hey, one can never have too many piercings. Wait! Was it that forward helix one he got? I love that one.”

He nods, leaning back in his seat to get comfortable for the drive. “I may have also gotten a piercing.”

Unbelievable. Lee Minho? A piercing? He has his lobes pierced, you know that much, but another one? “You’re joking. You’ve gotta be joking.” He glances at you. “Oh my god, you did not. You did? Where?!”

His lip twitches. You slap him on the arm resting in between you on the center console.

“You did not, you asshole. You’re always doing this to me.”

“Okay, okay, I didn’t, but I did get a tattoo.” A small grin graces his face.

Not believing him this time, you turn back to the front of the car and turn the volume up, rolling your eyes at his antics.

He turns it down again and looks at you, glancing at the road every few seconds, “I actually did though. I’m not kidding about this one. It’s small, almost invisible, I’m not surprised you haven’t seen it.” He holds his arm out in front of your face, close enough to have you crossing your eyes at the proximity. He uses his thumb to point at the side of his middle finger. There, the tiniest marks you’ve ever seen is a tattoo, a real tattoo, of a minimalist cat face. Two tiny triangles for ears, a smaller filled-in triangle for a nose, and six lines for whiskers.

It’s cute. It’s very…him.

You’re stunned, to say the least. It takes you a while to come up with something to say, something normal and not a babble of ‘oh my god you’re adorable can I kiss you?’ Because that would not be good.

Instead, he speaks up again in your silence, “I swear I was only there for emotional support for Sung, but the dude asked if I wanted anything since I went all the way out there and you know Jisung is a terrible influence, so I got this. It was small enough they didn’t even make me pay for it.” He huffs a laugh, putting his arm back down.

Your eyes follow his hand, still trained on his finger even though you can’t see it from this angle anymore. Finally, something in your brain starts to work again and you grab his hand, tugging it to your face again, this time to see it right side up instead of upside down as he had shown you. It leaves his wrist at an awkward angle.

“Ow! Not so rough, I am driving, you know?”

You risk a touch. You lick your finger and rub it across the ink to see if it would smudge.

He pulls his hand away and rubs it on his pants. “It’s real, y/n, ew. Why would you do that?”

“Oh. My. God. IT IS! You got a tattoo! Without me! Not only are you a traitor, but you’re also a backstabber! We promised! You promised we’d be there together if we ever got a tattoo for the first time.”

“No, we didn’t! I do not recall a promise like that ever being made. What are you talking about?”

“Fifth grade. We were on the bleachers listening to this dude talk about motorcycle safety and he had the sickest arm sleeve. You don’t remember?”

His mouth falls open and his head hits his seat, “Ohhh, yeahh. Sorry.” He grimaces at his forgetfulness.

You huff, crossing your arms over your chest.

As the shop comes into view, Minho starts looking for a parking spot. Miraculously, there's an open one right in front of parlour. And it’s free. No wonder considering how small this town is. He parks and you both hop out, heading into the shop. The little bell rings signalling your arrival and a woman walks out from the back. Presumedly, she’s an artist what with her arms decked out in ink and a few piercings littering her ears and face.

“Hi, how can I help you two lovely, blank people today?” A friendly smile stretches across her face revealing another piercing just inside her lipline, in front of her teeth.

You smile back, “Hey, I’m here for an appointment? Y/n at 4:30?”

She checks her computer and nods, “Yep. Can I see your ID?” You hand it over, having it ready. “Great, I’ll just have you sign these papers and we can get right to it.” She hands you a clipboard from behind the desk.

After filling it out and handing it back, she takes it to the back to get it into the system, telling you your artist will be right with you.

A few minutes pass as you wait in the lobby, flicking through the binders laid out on a small coffee table of all the artists' past works and styles. Minho is scrolling on his phone and tapping his foot.

The silence, save for the rock music playing through the speakers around the room and Minho’s tapping, is making you nervous. You start wringing your hands together, biting your lip and glancing out the window, at the decorations, and then at the cat that saunters into the room from who knows where. You nudge Minho and point to the white feline. He glances up at you and follows your line of gaze, a small grin appearing on his otherwise stoic face. Ever the cat dad with three of his own, he starts making noises at it. Small clicks of his tongue and soft tuttings. The cat gingerly makes its way over to him and rubs its face against his pant leg, meowing quietly.

You whisper, “How is it that every cat loves you?”

“It’s universal,” he whispers back, “They all communicate telepathically telling each other which ones are the good ones. Turns out I’m a great one.” He smirks at you as he pets its head, scratching the top of it and eventually its chin.

Rolling your eyes, you reach out a hand to let it sniff you. It bumps its head against your fingers, purring. When it jumps into your lap all of a sudden, you coo overcome by its adorableness. “Who’s the great one now?” You smirk back at Minho.

A man walks out of the back this time and calls your name. Standing up, the cat leaps from your lap and scurries back to where it came from.

Minho follows you and the man to the back of the room where a station is set up and a chair, reclined to a flat position is waiting for you.

The man, also covered in an array of swirling lines, more colourful than the lady’s, asks if you’re ready as you sit down. Nodding you pull out your phone and start to look for your reference pictures. Once you find them you show them to the artist and a few minutes pass as you talk about placement and the different pain levels for each area. Deciding your forearm would be the best place for your first tattoo, he starts drawing up a stencil of your idea, asking for your opinion every few seconds.

The closer he gets to finishing it, the more anxious you get, rubbing your hands up and down your thighs as you tap your toes together. They’ve gotten quite sweaty in the past half hour.

Minho has been characteristically quiet since you walked in, but now he speaks up, “Hey. It’s gonna be fine. Just half an hour, maybe less and you’ll be walking out of here a new person. A new, badass person with ink to show off to all your friends and to make your mother faint and father threaten to never speak to you again,” he gives you a reassuring smile. The one that only brings up half of his mouth and makes his eyes twinkle. “This guy’s done thousands of these, there’s no reason to worry about how it’ll look, plus,” He takes your hand in his, the one with the little cat face on it, and squeezes lightly, “I’ll be right here the whole time. You can squeeze my hand as hard as you like. Now breathe.”

You take a deep, shaky breath and exhale slowly, returning his calm smile as a silent thank you. Unconsciously, you start gently rubbing his little tattoo, the placement already ingrained in your brain.

“Alrighty. Here’s the final product. You like it?” The artist shows you the stencil and you nod, giving him a thumbs-up with the hand that isn’t holding Minho’s.

He starts placing it on your forearm and the process begins shortly after. It’s not as bad as you thought it was going to be, but damn you if you won’t take this chance to hold Minho’s hand.

He isn’t really a touchy guy and prefers witty comments to lift you up instead of hugs or pats on your head. Any chance you get to be closer to him without giving away your true thoughts is a chance you’ll take.

Growing up, you and Minho had always been close. Not just proximately by way of living arrangements as kids, but practically joined at the hip all throughout childhood. You did everything you could together. Whoever said absence makes the heart grow fonder, would change their mind if they got to spend almost every waking hour with Minho like you did. Shit, you were head over heels for your best friend. He was funny in the weirdest, bestest way, charming, caring in his own odd ways, and smart. So fucking smart. Nobody knew the most random facts about anything like he did. And if you thought he was the most handsome man on earth, no one needed to know but you. Fuck, you were in love with him.

Maybe getting this tattoo would change things. If you were brave enough to do this maybe you could be brave enough to tell him. Or maybe all your courage would desert you as soon as it’s over.

You squeeze his hand instead. He squeezes right back, softly rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand to soothe you. “You’re doing great, just keep breathing. I’m not carrying you home if you pass out.”

You chuckle and it just slips out, completely on accident, “God, I love you so fucking much.” You take a deep breath and close your eyes. For barely a millisecond. They fly back open immediately as soon as you process what you actually just said. You’re too scared to look at him. The ceiling is a much better view, you think. Why did you say that? He’s gonna reject you. He’s gonna stop being your friend now. It’s going to be awkward every time he sees you if he doesn’t completely avoid you. You’re going to have to tell your parents why he’s stopped coming around. You won't ever get to see his cats again! Why, why why did you open your mouth? You’re frozen in fear. You might have stopped breathing. Maybe you’re dead? Please, you want to fade out of existence right now.

“Breathe, y/n. You’re turning purple.”

You let out the breath you were holding. Hopefully, your last breath before you follow the light to sweet, sweet endless nothing where you never have to face him again. Why couldn’t you just respond normally? One simple word change and you wouldn’t be having a crisis right now.

The artist speaks up, “Almost done here. Like he said, you’re doing great. Just a bit more and we’ll patch it up and you can go home.”

A weak smile tugs at your lips, though it’s more of a grimace thanks to your inner turmoil.

“See, almost done. And like you said, I love you so fucking much too.” The world stops spinning. You chance a glance at Minho though you can’t be too sure you’re meeting his eyes; the world may have stopped spinning but the room is going 80 miles per hour. However, as soon as your gaze lands on him, everything slows and it feels like the world fades around you. You can barely hear the tattoo gun anymore.

There’s no mischievous glint in his eyes, just pure honesty. And love. Maybe you did die and this is just a poor excuse for heaven; hearing what you want to hear in the afterlife. Some joke life is.

You don’t know how long this purgatory lasted but all of a sudden someone is helping you sit up. You feel a tightness around your arm and look to find saran wrap around it, the tattoo covered in gauze to protect it.

“All done! You were a great patient. Here’s an aftercare worksheet to make sure it doesn’t get infected and some extra gauze to switch out occasionally, I assume you have saran wrap at home. If it starts itching or you get a rash, call a doctor, yadda yadda; that paper will tell you everything you need to know. Enjoy being part of the community and we hope to see you back again soon!” The man starts cleaning up his station as Minho gently helps you stand up and gather your things to pay and leave.

Unfortunately, your knees don’t really work right now and you start to buckle. Shock catching up to you; more from what you think you heard than the tingling sensation in your arm. You never hit the floor though, Minho guides your slight fall back to the chair and sits you down again.

You hear muffled conversation from him and the artist as you try to gather your bearings, Minho’s hand firm your grasp.

A cup of water enters your vision and you flimsily take it, gulping down its contents. Then Minho’s face, his beautiful, perfect, angelic face enters your vision, smiling like a cherub sent from heaven. Goddamn him. Why does he have to be so pretty?

“It’s just genetics, angel. Don’t worry, you’re not too bad looking yourself.”

Did you say that out loud?

“Yes. You also said that out loud. Come on, love. This man doesn’t have all day and we gotta get back home.”

“I-” Your voice cracks. “Sit. Can’t move. You-”

He chuckles looking at the man still cleaning up his station. “Sorry about this. They’re usually more coherent with their words. They might be in shock right now.” He gathers you up in his arms again, careful of your arm, and with your clumsy steps barely helping, he moves you to the waiting room again to sit for a bit longer, until you have your wits about you again.

His figure disappears for a while as your senses start to return. You don’t know how long it is again before he comes back, but he’s got his own bandage around his middle finger.

Worry speeds up your reviving process. “Are you okay? What happened? Why do you have a bandage around your finger?”

“Relax, love. It’s just a new addition. You needed a bit more time to come back from lalaland and the nice man offered when he finally recognised me from when I came with Sung.” He squats in front of you, loosely taking your hands in his. “Can you walk now? Without falling on your face?” You nod, blinking. “Good,” he stands up, pecking your forehead on the way up, “Let’s go home now and talk about this wonderful revelation you’ve just made while high on brave juice.”

“Oh god, I did say that out loud for sure, didn’t I? Fuck.”

“Don’t forget what I said. That’s kind of important too, angel.”

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

Bonus:

“I can’t believe they let you get another tattoo for free.”

“I can’t help it if people just like me more, besides it’s cute.”

“It’s an ‘x’ and a squiggle on the other side of your finger.”

“It’s a cat butt and it matches the face I got.”

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

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ijustreallylikepirates · 20 days

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I got an anonymous fanfic request so I’m going to be merging it with my fic on Alec’s birthday to just make it a bit longer. Hope that’s not much of an inconvenience or a bother.

I hope y'all enjoy this. I put my heart and soul into these fics just for y'all. Yall are a great group of people. Tumblr people are better than real people. Anyways I’m gonna stop yapping and here’s the fic.

Btw this fic is gonna be like really long so sorry bout that lol

Disclaimer: swearing, making out (shocker)

Finally, the day I’ve been waiting for for so many months. It’s finally my birthday.

I went full out for Nick on his birthday so I think he might spoil me like he tends to do even when it isn’t my birthday.

I don’t know what he’s planning but it’s gotta be something good with all that money he has. Perks of having a rich boyfriend.

I don’t only love him for his money though, if that’s what you’re thinking. There’s so much I love about him, like his personality. He’s so sweet, he treats me well, the way he always has a dirty joke for me. We have created so many amazing memories together it’s just hard to not love him. He also has the prettiest hair that just swoops when he turns his head in every which direction. His eyes are just so blue I get lost in them like I’m swimming in the Aruban ocean every time I stare into them. His skin is just so soft that when I hold his hand, it feels like I’m holding hands with a marshmallow.

I do quite love the expensive things he buys me though.

As I’m laying in my bed reading Fellow Travelers in the dim lamplight of my bedroom, Nick slowly opens the door and looks at me. Surprised to see me awake he says, “Good morning, birthday boy.”

He pushes the door open completely, and walks over to my bed. I smile as he pushes back the covers and lays his head on my pillow right next to me.

He kisses me on the cheek and asks, “Whatcha reading?”

I wrap my arm around his shoulders and show him the book cover. “Fellow Travelers.”

He lays his head slightly onto my shoulder and asks, “What’s it about?”

“It’s about these two guys Hawkins and Tim who fall in love in the 1950s which obviously wasn’t a very great time for queer people. So they just had to keep their love a secret and make it through the McCarthy Red Scare trials and the Lavender Scare.”

Nick stares at the words on the pages. “I have no idea what any of that means but okay.”

I just laugh. “If you’d read it, you would understand.”

“I haven’t picked up a book since what, high school?” He laughs. “Unless you read it to me like a toddler.”

I poke his nose with my finger, then kiss him. “You really want me to?”

“Hey, what the heck, love. I love hearing the sound of your voice so yes please.”

I laugh and kiss him again. “You’re so stupid. I can’t believe I’m dating you.”

“You love me.”

“I do actually.”

I put my bookmark in between the pages of my book, then place it down on the bed next to me. I turn to the side and wrap my arms around Nick’s back.

My face is now very close to his. He just smiles and places his hands on my waist.

He kisses me. “I have big plans for us today.”

I smirk. “Oh yeah? How much money do you plan on spending on me today?”

He kisses my forehead. “Don’t worry about that, love. Just kiss me.”

I roll my eyes. “Whatever, British boy.”

“Hey, you’re British too so-”

But I obviously can’t let him finish that sentence.

I quickly press my lips onto his. His eyes widen and a noise that sounded like a tiny scream escapes from the back of his throat.

When I pull away, he blushes and says, “Wow. I fucking love it when you kiss me like that.”

“What?”

“Like when you kiss me when I’m in the middle of a sentence. Or just when I don’t expect it at that moment. It’s my favorite thing ever.”

I blush and run my fingers through his hair. “You’re actually stupid. I fucking love you so much.”

He nuzzles his head into my chest. “I love you even more,” he mumbles into my chest.

I remove my fingers from his hair and rub his back. I kiss the top of his head.

We laid there for a while. He sneakily placed kisses on my chest a couple times, and I held him close to me, listening to his quiet breathing.

But after a while, he lifts his head and kisses me. “Well, we should probably get up now. It’s been a while, we can’t just lay here in your bed forever, birthday boy.” He sits up and pushes himself to the edge of my bed. “Come on. I made you breakfast.” He picks himself up off the bed and walks out the door.

Before getting up, I lay in my bed and stare at the door, the blanket pulled up over my chin. God, I love this man.

I throw the blanket off, grab my book, and get up. As I walk out the bedroom door, he has set a plate on the table. I smile and walk over to the table. But I didn’t even notice what he had cooked for me.

On the plate sat Menemen, or Turkish scrambled eggs with tomatoes. Menemen is one of my favorite Turkish dishes of all time! I wonder how he knew?

I laugh and ask, "You went out of your way to make me a Turkish breakfast?" I pick up the fork next to the plate and spear my breakfast.

I fork the eggs into my mouth and...

Oh.

Oh. My. God.

I close my eyes and throw my head back. "Mm. This is so good!"

Nick giggles as I fork more eggs into my mouth. "Thank you. I wanted to make some kind of breakfast from Türkiye. Cause y'know, I thought you would like it considering you're always trying to get me to try Turkish food."

I laugh and fork another bite of egg into my mouth, then pick up my book in my other hand. "You spoil me."

He smiles and says, "You deserve it."

I just chuckle and open up the book. But before I can take the bookmark out of the book, Nick takes the book out of my hand and snaps it shut. "Jeez. If you want gay love stories, I'm right here."

I laugh as he places the book back down on the table next to me. I shake my head and finish the last couple bites of my breakfast.

When I set my fork down on my now empty plate, Nick quickly picks up the plate and brings it over to the sink. As he starts to wash the plate he asks me, "So how was it? Was everything alright?"

"Everything was delicious, Efem. Why do you ask?"

Nick raises an eyebrow at me and says, "Well, I just wanted to know because it's the first time I ever cooked Turkish food for you and it's also your birthday! I need your first meal of the day to be perfect!"

"Well, it definitely was perfect. Thank you so much."

"You're so much more than welcome, Alec. And of course I'm going completely out of my way to make sure you feel like the most special person on this Earth." He turns his head around and says, "Now go put on something nice. We're going out."

I just roll my eyes. "Alright. Whatever you say."

I get up from the chair and walk over to Nick. I give him a quick peck on the cheek before heading off to my bedroom.

I close the bedroom door behind me and start looking through the drawers in my bureau. I pick out a nice blue button-down shirt and some black dress pants. I slip on some ankle-high white socks and a pair of shiny black dress shoes. I pull a leather belt through the belt loops of my pants, then slip a navy blue overcoat over my arms.

I quickly scan the room. I grab my phone off my bedside table and put it in my back pocket. But just as I'm about to leave the bedroom, I remember something.

My wallet.

I know that it's my birthday and Nick probably won't let me spend any money, but I never leave the house without my wallet. Ever. Like if there is ever a situation where I need to show my ID or driver's license, they'll be there right in my back pocket. Or like, what if Nick forgets his wallet today?

I scan the tops of my nightstands, but don't see my wallet on either table. I do a quick search of the bedroom; in my drawers, under the bed, under my pillows, inside my bedsheets, everywhere I could think of.

Then, I have an epiphany.

Nick.

I roll my eyes and sigh. "Not this again. Nick!"

"Yeah?" he calls back from the other room.

"Did you steal my wallet again?"

Silence.

"Hello? Nick?"

More silence.

I sigh. I walk over to my bedroom door and walk out. "I swear. Nicholas fucking Milton, you give me my wallet back this-"

And that's when I saw what he was doing.

He was just standing there in the middle of the living room, his hands in the pockets of the cashmere suit jacket he now had on, my wallet lodged between his teeth.

And honestly? I definitely blushed.

I just stood there for a second, then look Nick in the eyes and say, "Nick."

He just smirks. Well, as well as he can with my wallet in his mouth.

I walk over to him and hold my hand out. "Give it back to me now."

He slowly shakes his head.

"Now."

A low giggle from the back of his throat.

I shake my head and close my hand around the wallet. He clamps his jaw down tighter on my wallet.

I pull on my wallet, but my hand slips. "Come on, give it back!" I try to pry it out again. "You're going to get teeth marks on my wallet. That was expensive!" Another pull. "Come on!"

He just looks at me blankly, that horrendous smirk on his face.

God, he's so frustrating! I groan loudly.

But then... I smirk.

"Oh, Nick..." I say, leaning closer to him. "If you give me back my wallet, I'll reward you."

From in between his teeth, he says something like, "Wih wha?" which I assume meant, 'With what?'

I lean even closer. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe I'll kiss you. Maybe we could, I don't know..." I lean over and put my lips dangerously close to his ear. "Make out..." I whisper into his ear. I place a gentle kiss on his neck as I pull my face back.

He was frozen, his whole face completely red. I hold my hand up to his mouth and he unclamps his teeth. My wallet falls into my hand, and I close my hand tightly around the smooth leather. I do a quick check to see if he didn't take anything out of it, then slipped it into my other back pocket.

"Thank you," I say, tucking my hand behind his neck. I lean in and press my lips onto his.

He doesn't waste a second kissing me back. He puts his hands on my waist and pulls me close to him, kissing me harder.

His tongue brushes against mine as I push him hardly against the wall, making the room shake a little. One of the paintings even falls off the wall. But I'll fix that later.

I bring my hands down to his back, then start lifting up his cashmere suit jacket and white undershirt with my index, middle, and ring fingers.

I felt his hands trail down my waist and onto my ass. I press my body up against Nick's, warmth surging in between us.

I could feel his heartbeat against my chest. Or was it mine? No matter. Nick is so hot, I don't even care.

All that I could hear was my and Nick's breathing, the sound of his golden watch quietly ticking, and the occasional kissing noises. To be specific, very wet kissing noises.

He squeezes my ass as my hands start to trail up his back. His skin is so soft and warm.

I feel like I'm on the moon. We've made out many times before, but this just felt so much better. I don't know what was so special about today's makeout sesh. Maybe because it was my birthday. I don't know.

Wait...

My birthday! Nick is supposed to be taking me out today but we're up against the living room wall sharing saliva! And yes, before you germaphobes say anything about that sentence, I know how weird it is but like come on! It's Nicholas Milton iii, the hottest man on this earth!

I slowly pull away from Nick, a trail of spit stringing between our lips and breaking apart, spilling onto our bottom lips.

Nick goes in for another kiss, but I put my finger over his lips. "What time is it?" I ask him.

He pulls his hands from my ass and checks his watch. "11:00."

I retrieve my hands from his back and say, "We should get going." I back up from him.

He nods. "Just promise me you won't spend any money today. It's your day and you deserve to be treated like a princess."

I scoff and roll my eyes. "You already treat me like a princess every day, but okay. Come on now, the anticipation is killing me! I really want to know where you're taking me!"

He laughs. "Okay, okay! Just one more second. I have to grab something.

I watch as he walks into the other room. I raise my eyebrow when he comes back into the living room, holding something inside his cashmere suit jacket. That's...suspicious.

"Come on, let's go," he says, grabbing his car keys and opening the front door.

I look at him with my eyebrow raised, then follow him out the door and close the door behind me. We walk over to the car, and I climb into the passenger seat.

Nick opens the back door of the car. I pull down the sun visor and pretend to look at my hair in the mirror, but really, I watch as Nick slips something black and grey into one of those reuseable Stop&Shop bags. Very suspicious.

He then shuts the car door and walks over, climbing into the driver's seat. He shuts the door and starts up the engine.

I realize I still have the sun visor down, so I quickly run my fingers through my hair and pretend to look at it with a pout.

Nick leans over and cups my face in his hand. "Your hair looks fine, love." He kisses me on the cheek and shuts the sun visor. I blush as he puts the car in reverse and backs out of the driveway.

For the whole car ride I stared out the window with my legs crossed, trying to figure out where Nick was taking me.

But wait a minute...

I recognize this route!

This is the way to Barnes&Noble!

Nick really is spoiling me today, isn't he? Plus, I wonder what's in that bag in the back seat...

I turn my head to look at Nick and ask, "Are you taking me to Barnes&Noble?"

He smiles and nods. "Yep. I'm going to let you buy as many books as you want with my money."

My jaw drops. "Are you serious?"

"Mhm."

"Are you sure you want to let me do that?"

"Anything for you, baby."

I look back out the window and smirk mischievously. I rub my hands together and say, "Oh, you're about to go into debt."

Nick raises his eyebrow and says, "I'm starting to regret my decision."

I just laugh.

When he pulls into a parking spot in front of the Barnes&Noble and stops the car, I quickly jump out of the car and start running to the store.

"Come on!" I shout back to Nick as I jump up the curb.

"I'ma coming!" he shouts back, laughing in between sentences. "Wait up!"

I get to the front door and I look behind me. He's still running across the parking lot. I smirk and fling the door open as I shout, "Too slow!" and run through the door.

Nick laughs again and shouts, "Hey! Wait!" but the door shuts before he can make it there.

I don't even look back to check if Nick was behind me; I just ran behind one of the shelves. I started looking for books and piling a bunch into my arms. Hey! Nick said I could have as many as I wanted, so I'm picking up as many as I want.

But... I still want to be nice, so I'll limit myself to 20.

By the time Nick finds me, I have 19 out of the 20 books I limited myself to in my hands. Well... as good as I could hold them all anyway. I had them stacked in my arms, trying really hard not to drop them.

As soon as Nick sees me in the adult romance section, he rushes over to me. He laughs and asks, "Do you want some help with those?"

"Yes please," I say as I pile half the books into his hands.

Nick staggers a little, but quickly regains his balance and tightens his grip on my books. He huffs and asks, "What books did you even pick up?"

I look at the books and say, "Red White and Royal Blue, A Taste of Gold and Iron, Under the Whispering Door, In the Lives of Puppets, In Deeper Waters, Good Omens, Out of the Blue, Less, Kidnapped by the Pirate, the Apollo Ascending series, and the Shadowhunters Mortal Instruments series."

"Is that it?" Nick asks.

I just realized I have a guilty look on my face. "Yeah? I thought about it, and I realized I don't want you to spend that much money on me just for me to buy ink on dead trees."

Nick's eye twitched. "Alec... when I said you could buy as many books as you wanted, I meant it. Go fucking crazy. I don't care if you want to spend all my money on your ink on dead trees because it's your day and that's what's important to you. Go pick up some more fucking books and we're not leaving here until you have all the books you want."

I look at Nick, absolutely dumbfounded. "Oh... are you sure?"

Nick's eye twitches again. "Yes!"

"Like... 100% positive?"

"Yes!" Nick looks around. "But I think we need something to hold all these books though. Do they have like, something for us to put them all in?"

I consider this. "I don't think so. But you can ask one of the cashiers for one of those big paper bags."

Nick nods. "Alright. Come on, let's go get one."

He starts walking towards the front desk, me following closely behind him.

There was nobody checking out and there was only one cashier. Nick walks right up to the desk and says to the cashier, "Hello!"

The cashier looks up from her magazine but doesn't say anything.

"Uh, can I get one of those big paper bags?"

The cashier raises her eyebrow and picks up one of the paper bags from behind the desk. "This one?"

Nick nods enthusiastically. "Yes! That one!"

The cashier's face turns skeptical. "For what?"

Nick points at me and says, "I promised my boyfriend I'd buy him as many books as he wanted, and I really underestimated how many books he'd really buy."

The cashier just chuckles. "Are you going to actually come back and pay for them?"

Nick raises his eyebrow and lets out a small quiet gasp. "Are you calling me a criminal?"

"Just a genuine question, sir."

"Of course I'm coming back to pay for them! I'm too rich to start stealing shit!"

I laugh. "Stop flexing on your money."

He laughs too. "I'm just saying." He takes the bag from the cashier. "Thank you very much."

She laughs and picks up her magazine. "You're welcome. And happy shopping!"

I take the bag from Nick and dump my books into it. He dumps the books that I made him hold into the bag.

I look up at the cashier and say, "Oh, I'm definitely happy," before walking off to another shelf.

Nick loudly exhales and says under his breath, "At least he's happy," before following me.

By the time we made it out of the store, it was 4:00PM. I wish I was joking but I literally spent 5 whole hours in Barnes&Noble.

But I bought a lot so that makes sense.

Along with the original 19 books I picked up, I had bought The Love Hypothesis, The Song of Achilles, Dreamland, all 5 Heartstopper volumes, Nick and Charlie, This Winter, Radio Silence, Loveless, I Was Born for This, Solitaire, The Paris Library, all 6 volumes of Fence, and The Clean Slate Ranch series. 46 books total.

I also bought two Elvis records, a Queen record, and a Cardigans record.

Altogether that came to £498.94.

Now, sitting in a fancy restaurant, my books and records safely stored in the car, we laugh about that insane price.

"I mean, come on!" Nick shouts, swirling his wine around in his glass. "Almost £500 for 46 books and 4 records? That's crazy!"

I take a sip from my wine and say, "I mean, in America my shopping haul would probably amount to $1000."

Nick raises his eyebrows in shock. "Really?"

He takes a sip of wine as I nod.

"That's bogus!" he says, accidentally spilling a drop of wine on the tablecloth.

He quickly wipes up the wine as I say, "Inflations." I take a sip of my wine.

He laughs. "Sometimes I don't know about America."

I don't respond.

Nick raises an eyebrow at me. "Something wrong?"

I finish off my glass of wine and say, "Do you ever think about... Disventure Camp?"

Nick's eyes widen a little and he takes a sip of wine. "Sometimes... yeah. Why do you ask?"

I fold my hands in front of me and twiddle my thumbs. "I just can't stop thinking about the friendships I destroyed on that show or could've had. Everything I lost because I joined that show."

Nick puts his wine glass down and puts his hand over mine. "What do you mean?" he asks solemnly.

I sigh and say, "I lost a woman I really loved because I couldn't see it for my myself how shitty of a husband I was being. I haven't seen my son in almost a year. I really thought I could waltz onto that show and win the money to fix my marriage! I'm so stupid and I lost everything! It's been a while but I... still feel guilty about everything."

I grab Nick's hand and start playing with his fingers. "And I had people I was really close to on the show that I lost because I was so set on winning the dumb game! I had great friendships with Ellie, Connor, Grett. I couldn't even maintain 3 friendships without fucking anything up? And I can't believe that I let myself get tricked by Fiore! I could've won that money; I could've fixed my problems! But I didn't and I lost everything!"

"Hey! We all got tricked by Fiore! She was a little demon child, but we couldn't help it. We all underestimated what she could do, and it didn't turn out good for any of us. And I was great friends with Ashley, Lill, and Will in season 1, but I just recently made a Facebook groupchat with them and we're all talking again. Maybe if you talked it out with Ellie, Connor, and Grett, you could restore your friendships! I don't know if that'll work for you but it did for me."

He took my face in his hands and says, "And you definitely didn't lose everything. I'm here! I was the fresh start you needed, and we are currently going steady! I definitely needed you for my character arc and you needed me for yours. I'll be here to help you through everything. I'll be there when you need me most. Just call on me, and I'll be there for you in the blink of an eye."

A tear falls from my eye. "I... don't know what to say. Thank you so much."

Nick smiles and wipes the tear away with his thumb. "All I want is for you to be happy. Come on now, don't be sad. It's your birthday!"

I put my hand over his and close my eyes. "Yeah... yeah, I guess it is."

Dinner came and it was great. I wasn't expecting much because it was such a fancy restaurant, and usually fancy restaurants never have the best food in the world.

Me and Nick were back in the car, driving somewhere else now. He had his hand on my thigh as we listen to Billy Joel on the radio.

I laugh. "I don't understand how you can plan so much stuff to do for one day! You didn't have to spend so much money on me today. I mean, come on! It's just my birthday!"

Nick gasped. "Just your birthday? It might as well be Christmas! Your birthday is one of the most important days of the year!"

I just laugh as he pulls up to our local park and parks his car against the curb.

I look over at him and raise my eyebrow. "The park?"

He smiles and says, "Go on. Go find a nice spot. We're going to watch the sunset and I have presents."

I smile. "How did you know I like to watch the sunset?"

"I always see you staring out the living room window with a book open in your lap. The sunlight always makes your eyes look so beautiful."

I just blush and open the car door. "Whatever." I step up the curb and look around.

There was a nice spot next to the lake, a nice patch of sunlight in the grass. Perfect.

I look behind me at Nick, who is walking over to me with the reusable Stop&Shop bag. I really want to know what he put in there earlier. I guess I'll find out soon enough.

I wave him over, a big smile on my face. He laughs and starts running.

Once he gets over to me, he places the bag down on the grass. he reaches down and pulls a blanket out of the bag. The same blue fleece blanket we had laid over us after our first date.

He laid the blanket out on the ground. "Here. Sit. I don't want your hot ass to go green."

I laugh and sit down on the blanket. He sits down next to me and pulls the bag onto the blanket. He reaches into the bag and pulls out a small box wrapped in blue paper; a red envelope attached to it.

"Here," he says, handing them over to me. "Here's your present."

I take it from him and smile. "Aw, thank you. But you didn't have to. You've already done so much for me today!"

Nick rolls his eyes and says, "Just open the damn present."

I laugh and remove the card from the box. I put the box down on the blanket and go to open the envelope, but Nick grabs my arm.

"Wait! I want you to open the present first!"

I raise my eyebrow. "But why? It's good manners to open up the card before the present."

"I know but... I think you'll like what's in the card more than the present itself."

I just stare at him, confused. "Al... right then. If you really want me to."

I put the envelope down on the blanket and pick the box back up. I slowly unwrap the paper.

There was a small mahogany box. I open the lid and...

Oh. My. God.

Inside the box was the most beautiful watch I had ever seen. Emerald green and gold, beautiful sheen, smooth leather wristband. It was so... vintage!

I take it out of the box, staring at it in awe. I put it around my wrist and observe it.

"Oh, wow. Nick, this is so beautiful!"

"Even more beautiful than me?"

I scoff. "Oh, shut it." I look away. "And no, you're still more beautiful."

He laughs, then leans over and kisses me on the cheek. "Now open up the card."

I pick up the envelope and pry it open. Inside was a card with flowers and the words 'Happy Birthday!' on the cover. When I opened up the card there were two sheets of paper, but I shoved them aside to read the card.

There were no actual words on the inside, but Nick had written in his swoopy handwriting, "I love you so much. Happy Birthday Alec xoxo -Nick."

I blush. Then I close the card and look at the pieces of paper that were inside.

And when I tell you my initial shock when I read what was on it. The sheets of paper were two plane tickets to Istanbul, Türkiye!

I look at Nick, my jaw dropped. "You didn't!"

He smirks and says, "One for me, one for you."

I just laugh and throw my arms around his neck, tackling him onto the blanket. I start showering him with kisses, as he laughs and laughs.

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! Oh, you're the best boyfriend ever!" I exclaim, getting up off of Nick.

Nick sits up and just laughs. "I know you always wanted me to see Istanbul so... why not take you there myself?"

I lean in and kiss him. "Oh, I promise you are going to love it there!"

He smiles and blushes. "I bet I will."

We look into each other's eyes for a moment. Then Nick seems to remember something. "Oh, I have cake for us!"

He reaches into the bag and pulls out a cake in a plastic tin. It had white frosting and the words 'Happy Birthday Alec!' written on it in chocolate lettering.

Nick smiles weakly and says, "Sorry that I couldn't bake you a cake myself. You know I'm a shit baker."

I laugh. "Yeah. You're a great cook though."

He blushes. "I really do try to make good food."

"Try my asshole! Your food is fucking amazing!"

He turns even more red. "Aw, really? Wow." He places the cake down on the blanket next to me and covers his face with his hands.

I just laugh.

After a while, he takes his hands off his face and picks some forks, a cake trowel, and paper plates out of the bag. He removes the lid off the cake and cuts two slices of cake with the cake trowel, then puts each slice on a plate.

He puts a fork on one of the plates and hands it to me. "For you, my king."

I blush and take the plate. "Oh, stop it."

We sat there together side by side, eating our cake with one hand, our other hands lying next to each other on the blanket, our pinkies crossed over.

Once we finish our cake, the sun had started to set.

I look up at the sky. It's colored in many shades of yellow, orange, purple, and pink. It was absolutely mesmerizing. I put my hands in the pockets of my overcoat and smile up at the sky.

Suddenly, I hear a click from next to me. I look over and see Nick holding up his camera.

"You sneaky bitch!" I exclaim, laughing.

He pulls the camera away from his face and laughs, saying nothing. And oh my God, the light from the setting sun was reflecting in his eyes, mixing in with the blue and making them shine. And his skin seemed to be glowing.

I blush and say, "You're so pretty."

He blushes. "You're so gay."

I gasp. "Oh no! I've been outed!"

We laugh.

I lean onto his shoulder and let out a breath. "I really wish I had my book with me."

"Who says you didn't?"

I look up at Nick. "What?"

He turns around and reaches into his bag, pulling out Fellow Travelers and handing it to me.

So that's the black and grey thing he slipped into the bag earlier. My book! I take it and smile. "You're so stupid. I love you so much!"

"I knew you'd want your book with this sunset so... I brought it, just in case."

I turn to the page I left off on and say, "How do you know me so well?"

He puts his hand on my waist and says, "Well, we've been dating for like what? A year now? I should know you pretty well."

I just shake my head at him.

He kisses me on the top of my head and says, "Happy birthday, Alec."

What a day this has been. Laying with Nick in his bed, I think about everything he did for me today.

"Alec?" came Nick's voice out of the silence.

"Hm?"

"That thing you called me earlier. What does that mean?"

I raise my eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"That name you called me at breakfast."

"Efem?"

"Yes. Efem. What does it mean?"

I chuckle. "It means 'my daredevil boy' in Turkish."

He smiles and runs his fingers through my hair. "Well, that checks out."

"Mhm."

We plunge into silence again.

"Alec?" Nick asks again.

I laugh. "Oh my God, what now?"

"Sorry. One more thing. Remember how you promised to read your book to me earlier?"

I smirk. "What? Do you want me to read it to you now?"

"Yes please. I really want to know what happens."

I just laugh. "Hold on."

I get out of his bed and go to my own room, scourge through my bookshelves, grab Fellow Travelers, and go back to Nick's room.

I climb back into his bed next to him and open the book to the first page. "You ready?"

He snuggles his head into my chest and says, "Mhm."

I take a deep breath and start. "Very snazzy, Mr. Fuller."

And as I read to him, listening to his quiet breathing, I really truly know that this right here, the little moments like this with Nick, is what true love looks like.

OMG THIS HAS TO BE MY FAVORITE FANFICTION IVE WRITTEN SO FAR CNIDWBXHKDSNCH!!! THEYRE SO GAY OMG

anyways I’m sorry again for how long this one is lol I got a little silly again

I really hoped you enjoyed this one guys especially you anonymous person who asked for this

Anyways have a great day yall and there’s more fanfictions to come!!! Ily all bye!!! <<<333

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