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rk1stars · 3 months

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ENHYPEN FORGETTING YOUR BIRTHDAY. ( PART TWO )

GENRE fluff, angst, comfort, happy ending for all~ WARNINGS kissing, cursing. PAIRING enhypen x afab reader. STAR’S DAIRY listen I know I said this is fluff but I couldn't help it.. HEADPHONES PLAYING.. 505 by arctic monkeys, imperfect for you by ariana grande, i wish i hated you by ariana grande.

L.HS ★

“fuck fuck fuck, where are you love.” Heeseung's eyes were filled with tears, which spilled down his cheeks as he felt a strong sense of guilt and emptiness. He had been searching for you, but to no avail, and he kept cursing himself out in his head for not being able to locate you. The pain and anguish on his face were palpable, as he struggled to come to terms with the situation. Despite his efforts, he felt helpless and lost, not knowing where to turn next.

But then a memory hit his head. The place where you two met.

He saw you crying on a bench in front of a gorgeous river. He remembered going up to you and offering the donuts he just bought.

Immediately rushing to that area, his heart shattered into a million pieces.

Everyone viewed Heeseung as strong. But what made Heeseung crumble into pieces was you crying. Or just you in general. You were his biggest weakness.

As he walked past the park, his heart sank at the thought of never seeing you again. But when he saw you sitting on a bench, he felt a wave of relief wash over him, knowing that you were still around. However, that relief was tinged with sadness as he remembered the reason why you were crying, Him.

He approached you with a sense of hesitation, his steps slow and cautious. As he drew closer, you could see the uncertainty etched on his face. Finally, he dropped to his knees before you, his body language conveying a mix of vulnerability and desperation.

“I'm so sorry love. Please forgive me..”

Despite being angry, you couldn't help but feel a sense of powerlessness. Witnessing Heeseung's tears always had a profound effect on you, making you feel like you were falling apart. Heeseung was the one person who could break down your walls, and he was your biggest weakness.

Your anger being torn down, you pick him up from his knees and hug him tightly.

In the midst of tears streaming down both of your faces, Heeseung tenderly cups your face with his hands. He gazes into your eyes with a mixture of concern and affection before pulling you into a deep and passionate kiss. The intensity of the moment takes your breath away and for a moment, everything else fades away as you lose yourself in the warmth of his embrace.

P.JS ★

Worry was an understatement for what Jay was feeling right now. Jay already planned a fancy restaurant date and bought you a diamond necklace.

Jay was feeling incredibly foolish at the moment. He couldn't help but wish he had the power to turn back the clock and undo what caused you to become upset with him. The situation was weighing heavily on his mind, and he couldn't shake the feeling that he had let you down.

As he was driving down the road towards your house, his mind was weighed down by a heavy burden of thoughts. The weight of his worries seemed to be taking a toll on his driving abilities, making him somewhat nervous and jittery behind the wheel. The road ahead appeared blurry, and he found it hard to focus on the task at hand. The fear of crashing was looming large in his mind, as he struggled to keep his emotions under control while navigating the way to your place.

As he made his way to your doorstep, his heart raced with anticipation and anxiety. The weight of the emotions he had kept bottled up for so long became too much to bear, and tears began to stream down his face. He tried to wipe them away, but they continued to spill out uncontrollably. Finally, he stood in front of your door, taking a deep breath before ringing the bell, hoping beyond hope that you would be there to comfort him.

But when he entered your bedroom, His worst nightmare happened. you crying because of him.

As you were sitting there on your bed, tears streaming down your face, he felt a pang of sadness and empathy in his heart. He couldn't bear to see you in such distress, so he rushed towards you, enveloping you in a warm embrace. He held you tightly in his arms as if to shield you from the world and all its troubles. Your sobs gradually subsided as he whispered words of comfort and reassurance in your ear, reminding you that you were not alone and that he was sorry.

With all your pent-up frustration and anger, you hit his chest over and over again. But no matter how hard you hit his chest, he didn't react or leave. Just holding you and muttering out a thousand apologies.

“Shh, sweetheart, it's okay..”

“I know I'm sorry..”

As you struggle to keep your anger up, you eventually give up and drown in his warmth. You bury your face in his chest and hold him tightly, seeking comfort from his warmth and steady presence. Your sobs rack through your body, and you cling to him as if he were the only anchor in a stormy sea. Despite the pain and sadness you feel, his embrace brings a small measure of peace to your troubled heart.

“I'm sorry… I love you, Jay.”

“I love you more. remember that, yeah?”

Both of you drowning in each others warmth.

S.JY ★

Jake felt like an asshole.

He hurriedly dashed out of his front door, his eyes scanning the surroundings for any sign of you. He started running as fast as he could, his heart pounding with anxiety and anticipation. He kept running, his breaths becoming ragged and labored, as he searched for you on every corner of the street. His mind was filled with a sense of urgency and a desperate need to find you. And finally, after what felt like an eternity, he spotted you in the distance and sprinted towards you with a sense of relief and joy.

The sense of happiness and contentment that was flowing through his body suddenly dissipated the moment he saw you walking alone in the rain, fully prepared for the forgotten date, It was as if a dark cloud had descended upon him, casting a shadow over his previously joyous mood. The sight of you braving the rain all by yourself was enough to break his heart and leave him feeling empty inside.

As he rushed towards you, his heart pounding in his chest, he could feel his own desperation mounting. He needed to hold you, to feel your warmth and your presence, but as he wrapped his arms around you, he was hit by a wave of guilt. The sound of your sobs tore at his soul, making him feel like the worst person in the world. Despite his own pain, he couldn't bear to see you in distress, and he vowed to do everything in his power to make it right.

“I-i’m sorry..”

“Please, baby.. Forgive me.”

“I’ll do anything you want. Please just look at me..”

You still keeping your head low, he sobbed and sobbed waiting for a reply. Apologizing over and over again.

“Please..”

“P-please..”

As he stuttered through more desperate pleas and tearful begs, he felt like he was sinking into a bottomless pit of despair. But just when he thought he had hit rock bottom, he felt a warm embrace hugging him back. As he looked at you, he saw you looking up at him with eyes full of compassion and understanding. The feeling of your arms wrapped around him was like a lifeline, pulling him back from the brink of hopelessness and giving him the strength to pull you closer.

“It's okay Jake..”

Jake feeling a sense of relief and pure joy, he hugs you tighter in his arms, while the both of you are sputtering out a bunch of “I love you”s.

P.SH ★

Sunghoon felt depressed. Without you giving him any response, he was lost and worried. Not knowing where you are.

Typically, he was not one to display his emotions so openly in front of others, but at the thought of your absence, he found himself unable to hold back the flood of tears that were streaming down his cheeks. The mere thought of being without you was too much for him to bear, and he felt utterly overwhelmed by the intensity of his emotions.

Amidst his uncontrollable sobs, he pays no heed to the concerned words of his friends and hurriedly steps out of the door. His heart aches with a profound sense of longing for the warmth of your loving embrace, as he struggles to cope with the overwhelming emotions that have engulfed him. The tears continue to trickle down his face, blurring his vision and making it difficult for him to navigate his way through the world. All he can think of at this moment is how much he needs you, how much he craves the comfort and solace that only you can provide.

He looked everywhere. Your house, your favorite shops, where you two met, and even your friend's houses.

As he jogged around his neighborhood, feeling hopeless and lost in thought, an idea suddenly clicked in his head.

The beach, with its endless expanse of sand and sea, was the one place where he always took you to help you clear your mind and sort through your thoughts.

The salty breeze, the sound of waves crashing against the shore, and the warm sun on your skin all combined to create a peaceful and calming atmosphere, allowing you to escape the chaos of daily life and find a moment of clarity. Whether you walked along the shoreline, sat in the sand, or simply stared out at the horizon, the beach offered a sense of tranquility that was hard to find anywhere else.

As he hurried towards the beach, he experienced a mix of emotions that left him feeling both relieved and guilty. The relief came from the fact that he had finally found you but seeing you cuddled up while hugging your knees made him guilty.

As he stood there contemplating whether or not to approach you, his mind was filled with negative thoughts and doubts. However, he mustered up the courage to push those negative feelings aside and sat next to you.

“I-im sorry, my love..”

Looking up at you with desperate puppy eyes, you couldn't help but melt into his gaze.

“You’re lucky you're adorable.” before kissing his cheek.

K.SN ★

Sunoo wanted to drown himself. He couldn't believe he hurt a gorgeous and pure person like you.

Sunoo is in a state of desperation as he tries to call you repeatedly. His body is engulfed with a sense of worry and guilt that seems to weigh him down.

Desperately trying to hold back his tears, he quickly ran down the street to your house, his heart pounding in his chest. As he gasped for breath, he prayed that you were home, hoping that he would see you. Which he desperately needed. The weight of his troubles felt overwhelming, but he knew that with you there, he could find the strength to face them. Racing up to your front door, he banged on it with all his might, hoping that you would hear him and come to his aid.

After what seemed like an eternity, he noticed the doorknob turn and the door creak open. A pair of hesitant eyes peered out from behind the crack, and he could sense the trepidation in your body language. You seemed to be hiding behind the door, as if unsure of whether to let him in or not.

As he stood there, an overwhelming sense of desperation washed over him, causing tears to stream down his face uncontrollably. The weight of his emotions became too much to bear, and he sank to his knees, feeling completely helpless at that moment.

“Please, baby..” holding your hands while looking up at you.

As you see him kneeling before you, tears streaming down his face, your heart fills with empathy and compassion. Without hesitation, you reach out to him and pull him up into a warm embrace, holding him tightly. You feel the warmth of his body and the weight of his sadness, and you offer comfort and strength in this moment of vulnerability. As you hold him, you feel the tears running down your own cheeks, moved by the depth of his pain and the power of your connection. In this embrace, you share a moment of pure human emotion, transcending words and labels, and expressing the essence of love and compassion.

“It's okay.. Just don't do it again okay..?”

Y.JW ★

Jungwon didn't know what to do.

He spent weeks planning every detail of his surprise for you. He knew how much you loved your favorite restaurant, so he made sure to book a reservation at the best table in the house. He had carefully chosen a beautiful promise ring, one that he knew you would adore. As the night approached, he grew more and more excited, eager to see the look on your face when he presented you with the ring.

Jungwon had a stroke of bad luck when he forgot an important event - your birthday. Out of all the days in the year, this was the one day that he forgot, leaving him feeling incredibly guilty for his mistake. It was a significant day for you, and he failed to acknowledge it in any way, which only added to his remorse.

You weren't answering his multiple texts and calls and he was feeling hopeless.

With a sense of urgency, he sprinted towards your house, his heart beating faster than ever before. As he ran, he felt warm tears streaming down his cheeks, blurring his vision. The overwhelming emotions within him made him feel like he was drowning in a sea of despair. Yet, he pushed on, determined to reach your home as quickly as possible.

In a hurry, he inserted the spare key into the lock and quickly turned it, unlocking the door with a sharp click. Without wasting a second, he dashed towards your room, his heart beating wildly in his chest. The sound of his footsteps echoed through the hallway as he covered the distance in a frenzy, filled with urgency and concern. Finally reaching your door, he paused for a moment to take a deep breath before gently pushing it open, anxious to see if you were okay.

As soon as his eyes met yours, a strange sensation took over his body - as if all the energy had been drained out of him. He couldn't bear to see you in tears, it was painful to witness. The anguish in your eyes made him feel helpless, and he wished he could do something to take away your sorrow.

Jungwon approached you and you could sense the hesitation in his movements as he took a step closer. Despite the anger boiling within you, you didn't resist as he wrapped his arms around you in a tight embrace. You both wept uncontrollably, holding onto each other as if your lives depended on it. It felt as though all the pent-up emotions had finally been released, and there was nothing left to do but hold each other and cry.

“I'm sorry darling.. Forgive me, please?”

As you finally make a decision, without a second thought, you reach out and gently place a hand on his cheek, turning his face towards you. You look deep into his eyes and give him a soft, sweet kiss, hoping to ease his mind and let him know that everything will be alright. As you pull away, you see a glimmer of relief in his eyes, and you feel a sense of contentment wash over you.

N.RK ★

this was Riki’s first time in love. Because of his busy idol life, he never really paid any attention to what love was and what it felt like.

As soon as he laid eyes on you, he couldn't help but feel a deep sense of connection. It was as if everything he had been searching for in life had finally fallen into place. Your smile, your laugh, the way you carried yourself - everything about you seemed to draw him in and captivate him. In that moment, he knew with absolute certainty that you were the one he had been waiting for. The one he would spend the rest of his life with.

As he sat there, his mind racing, he couldn't help but think that he might have lost you for good. The thought of not having you in his life was unbearable. He wondered if he should reach out to you and offer his heartfelt apologies for what he had done wrong, or if he should give you some space and time to process your emotions. It was a difficult decision to make, and he felt torn between wanting to make things right and not wanting to make matters worse.

So he did what he always did. Take a walk around the streets of Seoul to get his thoughts out of his mind. He entered a convience store and got your favorite flavor of cake. Hoping to give it to you when he found you.

The sight of you sitting all alone in an empty park and staring vacantly into the distance only made his already troubled thoughts worse. He couldn't help but wonder what might be going on in your mind and what could have brought you to that place. The silence of the park seemed to amplify the weight of his own thoughts, making him feel even more isolated and alone.

As you sat side by side, he hesitantly reached out and took your hand in his, his grip tight and reassuring. His eyes were fixed on you, filled with an intensity that revealed his unspoken feelings. He longed for you to turn and meet his gaze, to see the depth of his emotions reflected in your eyes. In that moment, the world seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you, lost in the quiet intensity of the moment.

As you took your hand off him, he eagerly grabbed the cake and brought it closer to you with a sad smile on his face. His eyes were shining with need, and he looked a young child showing his mom a new drawing he had just completed. The cake was beautifully decorated with colorful frosting and sprinkles, and it smelled heavenly. You could tell he had put a lot of effort into finding the perfect cake for you.

“I-i know that it isn't the best but..”

“I'm sorry.. I wish I could turn back time.”

As you reach for the cake, you do so silently, trying not to disturb the peace around you. You take a bite and feel the sweet taste melt in your mouth. With a feeling of contentment, you drop your head on his shoulder and take in the stunning view of the river in front of you. The sun is setting, and the sky is painted in hues of orange, pink, and purple, creating a spectacular canvas of colors. The water flows steadily, and you can hear the sound of gentle waves hitting the banks. You feel a sense of calm wash over you as you take in the beauty of the moment and share it with someone special.

“I’ll forgive you if you play royal high with me..”

THANK YOU FOR READING! <3

-written by rk1stars

TL - @cholexc

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starrbright · 2 months

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Last Degree Of Nature | Nanami K.

Stay longer in me. Take root. Vera Pavlova, A Weight on My Back (tr. Steven Seymour)

January 5, 2024—April 5

Last continuation for Prof. Nanami: X | X | X | X |

3k words. Sickening fluff, honestly. No smut, really sorry for that. 🙇🏽‍♀️🫶🏼🫂

image used: X | a quote i used is from the 2014 film 'about time'

I had a bad case of baby fever after december 14, so......yeah. And I really was going through it and I thought of this.

Still going through it.

A few months has passed. Everything continues to go well with Nanami. Too well. Is it stupid? Honestly, you could swear it is. You sigh under your breath, tutting your head sharply to wipe away the thoughts but it comes back, the voice of your professor speaking up almost unheard, what she discusses just passes by through your ears.

Your fingers gripped around your pen tightly and loose and tighten again and again in the moment of being filled with worrying bits, at least is is for you. It's difficult not to fall on your head on the table and try to bear away what's been stirring you for a bit of awhile now.

How could you even begin to explain what you're going through. Maybe it's normal. Maybe it's too early.

And it is normal. But it is too early.

Yet, God....like again, how could you not be in the state you're in--when the two of you have been nothing but lovesick fools. When he's been someone so, a man you never dared to wish for.

You've lost count how many times you drifted far off from replaying memories in a loop.

The first time you stepped into his home, it was one what would expect for a man like him. A home out of a novel. Grand but mirrored familiarity. You were glad for him to have seem that he knew of the warm little things that makes life big before he met you.

That's what it seemed. If one would only look once and flat, they'll only see how he presents himself; gray. And a big part of him is, his life and what makes him he.

Figurines of what a home is to fill the spaces.

And then along came you to be the muse of his colorful but now he realizes--empty canvases.

There never seemed to be a missing piece even when he seeked out to satisfy his flesh. Even when you arrived in his life only for both of your indulgence. There never was.

Until his heart wanted itself to be given to you. Until he offered and you accepted it. He found there were endless crevices that could be filled more beautifully.

To see you free roaming in his home. To have you in his arms, laying back against his chest as you read a book, with him savoring the rest he can have with you, free from the confines of his work for a while.

The sun beaming through the windows while the wind flows against the curtains. The shine of the sun on your brown skin, the specks of dust he sees from the light, every little marks and dots of hairs on your arm. With him holding you as he beholds all those; he's frozen in time. And what he'd give to capture every moment. To let it flow endlessly.

It doesn't need to be said, it's in all of it already anyways--at least not yet. One would say there's the kind of rush in the beauty of just letting it be.

Though how long? How long until it can be sees as not too early?

How much more walking through it to be enough?

A few times you two have been in the café you're now in to study, to wash yourself away from the distractions. Him, who else.

Though it's been less than ten minutes of being in the place, after being in the queue and now that it was your turn to order. The cashier already familiared of you, has a little smile, almost barely showing but it's a knowing one--and when you felt a presence behind you, she laughs.

Widened eyes as you recognized the scent of a perfume, the way those arms encircled around you, the squeeze of fingers to the side of your stomach. His voice. " Angel. " He greets sweetly with a kiss on your cheek.

You couldn't find your words, too abashed at his sudden presence, let alone in public as you both stand in the line, let alone the fine man holding a boquet in his other hand as he holds his woman. "Let's go." He says before you could even protest, he's already given an ample of money for someone who didn't buy anything, he's already got your things from the table you're supposed to be--he's already had you sitting in his car.

"I'm supposed to be studying." You spoke at last.

"I know." he only chuckles. "But I missed you." He simply adds as he leans close you, a hand delicately firm on your cheek to kiss your lips. The thick presence of his perfume dizzying against the vibrant scent of the flowers--to the way he drowns you with kisses.

How unfair.

And how cliche it is. You hadn't thought Nanami would have ever pulled the kind of act, In the library, among the aisles of bookshelves, you're pinned back against a shelf as he kisses you. But then again he has fucked you more than enough times in the campus.

You couldn't say it wasn't adorable that he asked for this. His office was a building away from where you're both in as he's to lecture in a few minutes and you to attend your own classes, so that is where you ended up; making do in the library for a mere time of kissing.

"This is risky." You uttered in haste the second you both stepped in the quiet facility, to which he only hushed with another one of his, 'I know'

Next thing you know, he's hovering tall in front of you, one of his arm laying against the shelf, the other on the side of your face. "Hi." He breathes. There's no smile on him. How is it possible his eyes says otherwise.

"Hi." Nothing from your voice but just a gentle mouth of the word, a mere smile painting to be wide.

Then it slowly fell as his thumb grazes on your lips. "Let me kiss you." he still utters those kind of words. Never fails to take your breath each time.

Resolve melting away every time.

The last one recently, one which is all too vivid in your head--was the last straw to have enable all the want for more.

It was the morning of Sunday when Nanami called. yourself fresh from breakfast and was just about to wash the dishes. He tells it was Gojo who planted the idea in his mind just last night from their usual night out to drink, and he himself wasn't opposed to said idea--he liked it, really. Despite he wouldn't credit Gojo too much for it, of course. A dinner later in his home, that is. With the two men and their children.

How could you say no?

You were too happy to prepare and cook all those dishes with him in his kitchen before the night arrives. Amidst a few conversation about Gojo and Geto, their children as well, the conversation went to a boy named Yuuji.

The said boy whom Nanami has invited for later. Telling of the little story as you continue all the work in the kitchen,

Evident that the man is very fond of the boy. Spoke of how Yuuji's late grandfather was the owner of the flower shop he sometimes go to before you both happened, the said boy taking over after while still studying along in the same school and class with Megumi. Spoke of how a good kid he is. Spoke of how the boy told him that his grandfather would have liked to meet the woman Nanami has found, the old man would've been over the moon to know the flowers Nanami usually buy for his house now would be for a lover. Spoke of how Yuuji was always thrilled when he walks in the shop, having known it'll be for you. Which all led to him insisting the kid to go for the dinner, telling how he literally brightened up when he heard it.

You couldn't wait for the night to arrive.

But nothing could have prepared you for it.

As some have said, 'no one can prepare you for the love people you love can feel for them.'

All so suddenly your nerves flutter rapidly when footsteps and voices make itself known further. "That would be them." Nanami says with a little laugh following as he wipes his hands with a kitchen towel before heading to them.

Though you only remain standing behind the island, your hands fresh off the powdered sugar from sprinkling them on the now done strawberry cake you made; a dessert for the kids, but of course much more for Nanami and Gojo that your man has told you who has a bigger sweet tooth than anyone else.

Your wandering mind filled with nervousness in those short seconds was abruptly interrupted with adorable loud voices of little girls as they run in the kitchen and around to the dining room. The three professors following after and behind them is who you figured to be Megumi and Yuuji. The pink haired boy must be certainly Yuuji, by his sunshine air and the beautifully arranged flowers he holds, eyes wide with a big smile. Megumi besides him with the jet black hair and cool demeanor he has. The little girls Nanami has told earlier, Nanako and Mimiko who were now running back to the kitchen, towards where you are, little hands reaching up on the edge of the counter and tiptoeing. Loudly delighted with the cake they see.

"They really rubbed off from Satoru." Geto huffs, a mere annoyance in his voice but the fondness in his calm eyes tells so much.

"They're children." Nanami reasons expectedly, the calmest smile on his face, eyes flickering to you. Your heart just keeps on fluttering.

"And I'm your soon to be husband." None other than Gojo speaks as ever proud he is, to which only Geto, Nanami and Megumi rolled their eyes to. You, Yuuji, Nanako and Mimiko however--and despite the little girl's already knows, they have the same look of awe you and Yuuji have. "That's....that's lovely." You speak up softly, wiping your hands clean.

"Congrats." Yuuji barely stopped himself from seemingly shouting.

Then Geto laughs lightly, "Thank you." Walking up to the counter with the bag he holds, delightfully reeking of a savory scent, Gojo as well with two bottles of expensive looking alcohol. "I asked him just last night--" he begins with a wide grin but was cut off by his fiance. "Barely. He was too drunk when he did." Geto scoffs as he takes out a food container from the paper bag. "I had to get hammered, I was too scared!" Gojo protests as he pop opens the one bottle of alcohol and looked for glasses.

"He couldn't have done it normally despite feeling so." Nanami chimes in simply as he starts to set up the dishes on the table, making Gojo just following him across the dining room with the glasses now on his hands, his own already filled as he goes with his mouth.

Leaving you with Geto as the two boys goes there as well, lightly playing along with the little girls as they converse.

"It's nice to see you again." Geto says while now helping you prepare all the little things for dinner to begin and go well. "In this kind of setting, I mean." he adds, a light chuckle he makes. Having seen you a few times in the campus, of course, with Nanami secretely or just around. "And I'm glad, by the way."

You nod, abashment about your relationship with their friend almost not there anymore. "The same to you. And I'm glad as well." Happily, you smile.

At last dinner began. If simply meeting them all has had your heart growing so much, you couldn't be more wrong. You were worriedly too happy to be wrong.

That's where you begin to get.....scared.

And how you now find yourself after days and days of contemplating it--standing in front of the door of Geto's office.

Doubts of confronting it plainly gone, you were just aching to let it all out, but not yet to the man himself, so instead it's Geto. You think it's only fitting for you to go to him.

Sighing almost tiredly, you then knock on the door, when you walk in and he's met by you. He just lightly smiles and nodded for you to go in. You sit on the chair across from him where he's still on his laptop, as your eyes are nowhere on particular, gathering the bare strength to speak it out at last--he just waits for you speak, having already as expectedly guess what the subject will be or rather who about.

You breathe deeply as your head turns away before it goes back to him.

"I think I want to marry Kento."

Geto's focus stops, fingers typing away on a sudden halt, gaze now to you and eyebrows raised, "Ah." His very mere shock fades slowly into a small smile.

"Yeah," you let out barely, lolling your head to the side. Your ears at last hearing those words, it suddenly feels ridiculous. But the arrow has already been shot in you. Too much and maddening it is, still you don't want it to go away.

You find yourself then to be unwavering. The resolve finding its permanent stay.

A shaking breath flows out of your mouth, a trembling hand ghosts on your forehead as you look down. "I want to marry him." Never mind your unsteady voice, you want to say it endlessly.

Nostalgia waves pass by Geto with what reveals. Several months ago, Nanami spoke you're the one. His everything. And there you are now with an admission any longing being would dream to hear for their own. He looks at his engagement ring. A few weeks earlier, his lover was clinging to him as he tear up, drunk, asking to marry him, rambling how he wants eternity with him, promising he'll be the bestest father for their children.

He didn't ever think their lives would be this happy, he only hoped.

Geto is wordless to say the least.

His eyes back on you, it's the mellowest you've ever seen on him, mouth opening slowly, it's what he thinks to say then. "Satoru wouldn't be too happy with a double wedding. You know how extra he is--"

A breathless laugh you make in a light disbelief, "I'm serious." You say in exasperation, tears starting to fill your eyes.

Geto just smiles gently, not saying aything. What more could be said when you're just too happy for a friend, to contentedly know that until an end, they won't be alone.

"What are you waiting for?"

Going on with your day after was still as distracting, it wasn't heavy anymore though. You don't remember when was the last time you were excited to see him again without any hesitations.

When you do at the end of the day, in his house, finding rest in each other's warmth, your heart remains to be thrumming of that same thrilling joy when time has allowed you both to be with each other again, that same rhythm of feeling when you first began to have a crush on him.

And in the quietness, you deem it's time to make it known to him.

As he keeps himself cozy with his face buried on your neck, your soft body laying against his chest and in between his legs--gently, you rose from his hold and awaking him in the process. You sit yourself back on the couch as he looks at you curiously, while ever sweetly gentle, your hands still twined as he makes so. So much for how much more.

After all the time of thinking about it, you didn't see the need nor want to beat around.

" I want to marry you. "

How does one even take that in?

You were sure you've never seen your lover lose the composure on his face like that. It's nothing but pleasant.

"Marry me." The bliss in saying it, truly.

And hearing it from you, seeing your smile you evidently keep from widening, the stars in your eyes. You've taken him from his paradise to a place far greater than he would ever thought of.

You've truly taken him aback this time. He hadn't seen you were visioning the same piece as him. It seemed both of you were going through the same dilemma after all. Drowned too deep to have seen it.

You hadn't seen his eyes looking at your ring finger when his hand is entangled to yours, thikning of all the kinds of rings you'd love. How could you have possibly know he's been wishing for you to never leave his house when the night falls, for him to wake each morning with you in his arms, to get up earlier than you and make you breakfast, have and enjoy meals together without looking at the time.

You didn't see what he was painting with his eyes upon dinner that one night. How you light yourself a flame and the kids a magnet to you.

Suddenly when he holds you from behind, his hand yearned to feel a life within you. Voices of little ones echoing pleasantly in his mind. Angels running around his home.

Despite unspoken, unknown; you've been meeting halfway.

Nanami let his lips break into an opened smile, a little laugh breathing out as he tightens his twined hand on yours. "You read my mind."

Your cheeks could already hurt from smiling so much, but couldn't find any words after, you only laid your hand on both of yours, pressing your lips on his knuckles and feel your eyes ache from the tears collecting. Your lover's smile turned gentle as he sees you. " Marry me. " He murmurs. Simply indulging himself in saying it. "I'll marry you. And you of me." He says, returning your kisses on both of your hands.

You feel what he feels when he said them, and he feels what you felt when you answered yes.

Laughter flows in the halls of his home when he takes you in his whole hold once again.

"Satoru wouldn't want a double wedding--"

"I would not dream of being in the same altar at the same time with that man."

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Finally done with this 😭😭😭🗣️🙏🏽 i am so tired. just went to our dance practice for a subject and finished this after and still have to type it all after just writing it on paper as usual😀🫠 but here we are, and back home and still am miserable, ive been so busy with college, and it's midnight here, i have a group reporting tomorrow and i barely studied about it🫶🏼🫂 anyways, i thought of writing my little thoughts about this story, im sorry if it's silly or shit😭

i had nanami in his thirties, while our reader is twenty-five. i hadn't thought of what she's taking, really. i honestly forgot what nanami's expertise is 🤸🏾‍♀️ geto teaches art and field study 1, while gojo is in physics and physical education. they had nanako and mimiko just after they were born, heard from someone they know that the little girls' mother couldn't raise them, so they referred themselves willingly. megumi in an orphanage after the girls have grown. i really wish i involved shoko and haibara😔😔😔😔💔😔💔😔💔😔💔😔 let's just think of them being there. especially in their weddings😁 also while at campus earlier, i randomly chose songs in my playlists to queue and one of them is 'that part' by lauren spencer smith and i realized how this work is fitting for that song 😭💔😭😭😭💔😔😭💔

#starr's creations 🌟🍭#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #nanami kento #nanami kento smut #nanami kento fluff #nanami x reader #jjk smut #jjk fluff #jjk anime #jjk manga #chubby!reader #anime x chubby reader #jujutsu kaisen x plus size reader #x chubby reader #jjk nanami kento

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youlikefanficdontyousquidward · 11 months

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Little less than super, soldier

Basically an oc x zemo fic but I'm going to write it in y/n style because that's what I'm comfortable with ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also I am still working on Avatar and Spiderman fics just taking a self indulgent break because the FOCUStm is on Zemo rn.

Your characters background is clear as the story progresses but if you'd prefer to know it going in this is a post on it! And this is a short fic of that info too ✌

This is a part one... I got so excited and wrote a few more ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Summary: Sam gets back up from an old friend, meanwhile y/n is struggling to deal with Zemo.

warnings: for now canon typical violence, tho later chapters will contain mild body horror. Warnings will specify.

Nicht - Don't

Tut mir leid - I'm sorry

Soldat - Soldier

(My german is very basic so feel free to correct me!)

Sam hadn't seen you in years, not since he watched you walk away from him, Bucky and Steve. He couldn't argue with their decision, it was for the best. You were a wreck and despite his best hopes he knew you were right. If anyone knew you were alive they'd use you again.

Still he wasn't too surprised when you turned up at his house. He'd only been back from dust a few days earlier but he'd heard from others that you'd been there. Stepping up to help when people around the globe needed you. He hadn't realized the broken person he'd met screaming in a cell had so much heart.

Still you were a ball of nerves, being overly polite and stumbling over your questions. It was a far cry from the swearing, snapping venom you'd spit when the Avengers had you and it put him a little on edge. You just wanted to know if he was okay, if they all were and that you'd be leaving again. He'd given your shoulder a squeeze, despite the flinch, and wished you the best. You'd settled quickly under his had and that was the first time he saw you really smile.

He found the number a few hours later. A tiny scrap you'd somehow tucked into his own jean pocket. A small note, "Just in case." He felt oddly proud of who you'd become and kept it into his wallet.

That day passed into fond memory but every so often a little note and number would turn up. A small reminder you were out there and willing to help again. A few times he thought to call but he didn't. No point worrying you or pulling you back for nothing.

Only this wasn't nothing now. He and Bucky were stumped and with the threat of super-soldiers and he knew you'd want to know. Though the idea of dragging you back it was horrible. He felt the weight of his decision bearing down on his shoulders. Sam slumped further into his chair as he eyed the message. Then with a last deep breath in, his thumb tapped the glass.

Sent. Delivered. Read. Ellipsis.

Then nothing. He waited, head in hands, regretting it immediately. It wasn't like you wouldn't be a huge help but dragging you back like this? It just didn't feel right. Even if you came what could you know anyway? Hydra weren't exactly open with you about things whilst in there clutches. Hell you might end up coming to draw gun fire and that thought twisted his gut. Sam watched the screen until his eyes burnt, then let his head hit the desk.

The buzz startled him some time later. He flung out his seat, scrambling to the message. Bucky, whatever he had been up to after visiting Zemo he was ready to meet. Sam's shoulders sagged as he read the text. He wasn't disappointed, not really. He knew he was asking too much by contacting you. The risk to your freedom was eminence. There was no telling who was still out there looking for you, other than SWORD anyway.

Still Sam couldn't help but feel down as he got his things ready. God only knows what Bucky had done and meeting him across town in some garage didn't bode well.

Maybe you'd settled down somewhere, maybe you were happy. He hoped so, that you'd chosen yourself. Sam fortified himself, squaring his shoulders as he headed to the door. No point stalling, he needed to find out what Bucky had been up to.

He swung the door out quickly but found his feet rooted in place. There you were, frozen with a hand in the air ready to knock. A mess of hair, in sweatpants and an old thread bare t-shirt, looking rather stunned. He stared a moment, watching your mouth bob open and shut, over night bag slipping down your shoulder.

"Y/n!" Sam couldn't help the grin that spread across his face. To his relief your posture relaxed and you returned his smile. "Come on, Bucky might have something, we'll meet him across town."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You knew you should try to stop bouncing your leg but every time you lost focus it jumped to life. You didn't want Sam to see you worried like this. He'd always been so kind to you and you didn't doubt he'd let you leave if you asked. You couldn't however, no matter how much it felt like jaws were gonna snap down on you.

He'd been so nice in the car over, being careful to avoid touching you, asking after your life, avoiding making you speak any specifics. You appreciated that, although your run down, rented flat and part time jobs were hardly worth the effort. Hell you'd struggled enough making nice with coworkers, maybe a fresh start would be nice after this.

You'd wanted to call Sam. You'd wanted to check in with him and his family. For a time you even considered contacting Wanda but you never liked someone else in your mind with you. No you'd resigned yourself to the loneliness. Maybe you should get a pet.

"Is it Bucky?" Sam offered, eyes glancing to you before returning to scanning the room. "You know after Wakanda he's..."

"Yes I know." You interrupted, stilling yourself again. You'd actually gone to see him shortly after checking in with Sam. A guilty part of you had felt relieved when he'd disappeared. Though after the five year absence you felt you had to see him too.

He'd been starting therapy at the time, was working, he was doing well all things considered. Still you'd felt the need to check, to be sure the Soldat was gone. You'd left then satisfied that the man you'd known wasn't behind those kind sad eyes and that this Bucky that stood in his skin was not a threat. Still an incredibly able soldier just not of the winter variety. Anyway it wasn't him you were worried about.

When Sam had fully explained the situation you'd blanched. These flag-smashers had access to the serum. Not the same one you'd had pumped into you but a better one. One that left them with the strength and power of Captain America, not just side effects.

Still no matter what it cost, you couldn't leave knowing the serum was out there somewhere. So you'd focus on that, let it anger you, burn away any doubt and drive you forward.

You heard him before you saw him. Loud deliberate steps, Sam must have let him know you'd be there. Unless they were so as not to startle Sam. Regardless there was little more than a tight smiles shared before Bucky led you both further in to the garage.

You wouldn't say you were on comfortable terms with him yet. He was still guilt ridden about the Soldat's memories with you and you were still a little unnerved with a new man wearing the same face. It was nice to see him so happy though. Even in this circumstance his mood seemed far different than you'd ever seen him. Here's to therapy you supposed.

Bucky's plan seemed rather extreme. Break Zemo out and have him help. You had to admit it seemed rather extreme. The ex Colonel was part of an elite intelligence op and had a history of hating Avengers. Though he also hated super soldiers more so that might keep him on their side. Enemy of my enemy and all that.

Except you'd be among the enemy in that case. It wasn't outside the realms of possibility that Zemo didn't know about you. After all his search through the leaked files where rather singular in their aims. Your particular information had been lost or redacted so heavily that without specific knowledge on you it would be hard to link the two.

You continued to follow behind Sam, keeping your eyes on the shadows, watching your back. Some stress was elevated when Bucky flipped the lights on, continuing his back and forth with Sam after shooting a soft look at you. Nothing got past his notice.

If they kept this bickering up you'd be there all day. You slunk over to a car under the lights, perching on the open bonnet. You couldn't help the fondness in your smile as you watched their amusing relationship. Giggling to yourself as Sam rolled his eyes with his whole body, raising his brows to you.

"Look, let me just walk you through a hypothetical. Can I just walk you through a hypothetical." Bucky started.

"What did you do?" Sam questioned, his brow furrowing as he turned back to face him.

You felt tense again, arms uncrossing from your chest. You weren't quiet sure what was going on now. Clearly Sam had caught on to something you'd missed. Bucky launched into a far too detailed plan and you felt a shiver run down your spine. Every hair stood on end as the dawning realization hit.

"You didn't..." You almost whispered as Sam interrupted again. Then the door was opening and your ears were ringing. Your heart pounded in your throat as Sam charged forward in front of you. You were still stunned, now behind them both as Zemo entered the garage, dressed in a guards uniform.

He caught eyes with you for a moment, taking his hat off before returning to Sam and Bucky's argument. His eyes seemed to drift back to you before he interjected again.

You found yourself standing under his scrutinizing gaze, drifting closer to Sam, inching him further between you and Zemo. You barely followed what was being said, waiting for him to pull a gun or stop staring. Either was preferable in this moment.

"Okay." Sam spoke, defeat in his tone. You clenched your jaw. You didn't like this. If the guy wasn't gonna attack he was going to manipulate his way to his release, you were sure.

Still he seemed cooperative, leading you all back to a larger room filled with old cars. They were expensive things but you didn't let your eyes wander from him. Choosing to break the middle of the pack, you kept yourself between Sam and him. Despite his words and values you wanted to remain vigilant. If you could do nothing else you'd shield Sam.

Other than a few snide comments he seemed true to his word. He drove the group of you to an airport in mostly silence. Peaking back at you and Sam through the mirror.

"So all this time you've been rich?" Sam said incredulous at the sight of the privet jet on the tarmac. You'd calmed down a little, walking by him and Bucky's side as you followed.

"I'm a Baron Sam, my family was royalty until your friends destroyed my country." Zemo spat back. You couldn't help but snort at his comment. You regretted drawing his attention again when he stared back at you. You looked away until his attention left, drawn else where.

Bucky and Sam eyed you a moment and the indignation flared in you again. "What? They dropped that city on me." you hissed quietly. You weren't sure you wanted Zemo to hear that. Sam looked stunned blinking at you before he was turned back to the plane. You fell back in step behind the group as you approached.

You suppose you never did tell him about that. Just letting it stew with your general hatred towards your then captors back then. It'd been a huge loss to you. A life built there crashing down on top of you, leaving you broken and pinned for days. You shook the memories away trying to forget the carnage.

Zemo greeted an old butler looking guy at the steps. To your delight he was wearing the little white gloves and everything. Sam awkwardly nodded and you gave the man a genuine smile as you passed. He was just like the caricature on TV. He looked to be 100 and considering his familiarity with Zemo he could've known him all his life.

It soon set you on edge to be at his mercy 1000 feet in the air. With a knowing look he could fly you all anywhere and you'd be none the wiser. Certainly wouldn't make a change from most flights you'd been on, at least your hands would be free.

Zemo smiled at you as you boarded, gesturing to the seat opposite his own. You ducked your head, shifting quickly to the back behind Sam. If the staring was bad in the garage you sure as hell didn't wanna experience it in direct line of sight.

You didn't catch his name but Zemo spoke to the butler in Sokovian for a moment, implying he'd give out of date food to Sam and Bucky. Angered you huffed, Zemo turning at the sound. You caught his eye, keeping a glare set on his smug expression.

"Nicht." You bit out through gritted teeth. Your Sokovian was rusty but you saw the slightest change in Zemo's expression, before it settle back into a cat like grin.

"Tut mir leid." He nodded, turning back to face forwards again. Sam's head peaked at you from round his seat but you just slumped back into your own. Staring out the window and gripping the arm rests as the plane took flight.

Not long into cruising altitude Zemo angered Bucky. You hadn't been paying them much attention by this point. You'd found yourself relaxing and had become dazzled my the ice on the window and fluffy clouds below. You were startled back by the sudden movement of Bucky. Jumping up and catching Bucky's eye as he took his hand off Zemo's neck and slumped back into his seat, his book back in his hands.

Cursing under your breath you moved to the seat in front of Zemo now. You resigned yourself to a task to keep you awake, stop them from killing one another.

Zemo spoke an apology, but it seemed more probing than you liked. To your relief Sam seemed to turn the conversation back to lighter topics. You slid further into your seat a moment before Zemo began pushing again. You glare into him, not missing the way he glanced at you when he said "innocents die."

A small pang of fear hit you but you bit back a response. He'd clearly caught the hint of resentment you felt towards what happened in Sokovia. Still you kept your gaze level as you bit your cheek and allowed Zemo to continue.

Madripoor, you'd only ever been there in passing. The lawless nature allowed you to obtain some fake documents for relatively cheap. It was too risky to stick around though, too many dangers, too much risk of outing yourself.

Worse still Bucky was gonna have to put on an old mask.

Soldat

#my fics #helmut zemo #the falcon and the winter soldier #kinda wanna write a sam x reader too now #zemo x reader #zemo x oc #little less than super soldier

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youleavethetardisbrakeson · 2 years

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hiii <33

i dont think this is a prompt but how about when corlys left and returned from the steptones? i always wondered how rhaenys would have reacted when he left and returned :)

Hi @anya-casablanca! Oh, it's definitely a prompt, don't you worry. I'm going to do this one in two parts since I'm a tired 28-year-old lady, but please pat yourself on the back for being the prompt catalyst for me writing for the first time again in OVER SIX YEARS.

Super duper thanks to @evebestt for sharing a single brain cell with me and helping me churn this baby out!

The Stepstones - Chapter 1: Leave-Taking

Rhaenys stirred from sleep, raising a forearm over her tired eyes to block out an offending ray of morning sunshine. She groaned. In the heat of last night’s fervor, the curtains to their chamber windows had not been drawn. Rhaenys rose slowly from bed, not even taking care to wrap her naked form in the dressing gown, which lay crumpled on the floor before her, and crossed to the window. Dawn glinted off the Gullet’s waters, and boats already filled the sea, dozens of which bore the distinct blue sails of the Velaryon fleet. The Lady of Driftmark sighed, her heart sinking at the reminder of what today would bring.

She drew the curtains and turned her back on them sullenly, her arms hugging her middle in an attempt to steel herself. Her gaze drifted back to the bed where Corlys lay, his eyes now also open, his visage bearing a forlorn smile. Silently, he held his arm out to her in invitation, and she crawled back into bed, wrapping her body around his.

Corlys stroked her hair tenderly, placing a kiss on her temple. Rhaenys could feel him exhale deeply, the weight of today’s departure clearly also on his mind.

“Please don’t leave me,” she whispered into his chest, her eyes already welling with tears.

Corlys swallowed hard. “Rhaenys, you know -”

“I know it must be done, Corlys. I still would not have you leave me.”

“I do not wish to leave you either. But we will be -”

“Do not make false promises to me,” she snapped, lifting her head to meet his gaze. “The last time you left for war…”

Corlys closed his eyes, trying to banish the memories from sixteen-some-odd years ago.

The misfired bolt, meant for another man, had struck Prince Aemon in the neck. He bled out, drowning in his own blood. Corlys had insisted on escorting the body home onboard The Sea Snake as Prince Baelon and the two dragons circled above. Upon their arrival home, Lady Jocelyn grew deathly pale, nearly fainting at the sight of the shroud. And Rhaenys - she had scrambled onto the only-just docked ship and fallen to her knees in despair, clutching her pregnant belly as she wailed for her father.

Tears streamed down Rhaenys’ face. “My heart cannot bear it, Corlys. Not again.”

“I will not let that happen,” he reassured her, wiping tears away tenderly. “We have our fleet, Prince Daemon, and two grown dragons. We are more than a match for the Crabfeeder. I will be back home to you before you know it.”

Rhaenys shook her head. “Let me go with you, please. Meleys is swift and a third dragon -”

“No, my love.” He stopped her, taking her hand in his and bringing it to his lips. “Laenor is a fine dragonrider; you taught him well. He needs this chance to prove himself in battle. But you are needed here, with Laena, and at Driftmark. A Velaryon must stay behind, and you are the only one I would trust the Driftwood Throne to.”

Rhaenys volunteered a small, reluctant nod in recognition. As loathe as she was to admit it, she knew the parts each of them had to play.

She tightened her fingers around his, clasping them to her chest. “Come back to me,” she whispered, half-wish, half-command.

“Always,” he answered. “I came back from the ends of the earth for you, and I will again.”

#my fic #ask #rhaenys targaryen #corlys velaryon #rhaenys x corlys #house of the dragon #hotd #eve best #I will probably also upload to AO3 so watch out for that #mine #fanfiction #fire and blood

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cleave-and-plough · 11 months

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opening with a retelling of the prelude, episode 3 centers the fairy tale aesthetic as anthy takes on the role of cinderella, cooking and cleaning with her rodent sidekick and eventually making her way to the ball in a borrowed gown. utena continues to worry about her roommate's lack of friends other than chu-chu, though she seems halfhearted about it. more than anything, anthy confuses utena - she seems perfectly content with her subservient, lonely life, and i wonder if utena feels any sort of envy towards that certainty. utena herself constantly straddles two worlds - beloved of the school yet adrift in it, desiring to be a prince but put off by the council's apparent cosplay of nobility. anthy's part in that play might be an unpleasant one, but at least she knows who she is. maybe peace can come of that, but utena isn't sure yet. even in her frustrated rejection of anthy's "game," she sounds unconvinced: "i don't want a bride, i want a normal boy..."

these words call forth her new admirer, president touga, who flirts with utena and touches her hair. utena slaps his hand away, to anthy's shock, and i'm torn whether she feels this is an affront to the sanctity of the president's dignity or she's stunned to see someone act so straightforwardly, eluding the games and riddles of the council. meanwhile, utena wonders if touga could have been the prince from her childhood, as he bears the same ring. her longing and her repulsion vie with each other, and it strikes me that she may be trying to reconcile her romantic feelings with the weight compulsory heterosexuality, especially if this is ultimately a love story between utena and anthy (and it may not be). utena feels and desires love, but can't quite name why it feels off to think of touga in that way.

a new rose enters the cast: nanami, the yellow rose, and touga's younger sister. like saionji's admirers, she despises anthy for capturing her brother's attention, and seeks to humiliate her at the ball, telling her she has been nominated freshman dance queen and sending her a false dress. neither utena nor anthy wish to attend the dance, utena because she dislikes the atmosphere and anthy because she becomes anxious in a crowd. it's almost an intimate moment between them wherein they could bond, but utena's worries about anthy's social life take precedence, and she tells anthy to go, still not realizing that anthy will obey her commands. these scenes hurt keenly - utena has good intentions, but she isn't able to follow the rules of anthy's communication, pushing them apart. anthy puts on a smile, but i suspect she is bearing up alone in sorrow as well.

at last, the ball, held in a grand hall and celebrating the first day of spring. the silhouettes refer to the dance as a "man trap" and call the girls in attendance "shameless," perhaps foreshadowing nanami's treachery. in this, it's notable that this episode doesn't feature a duel, and yet it feels just as combative. in this domain, where women are expected to tactfully compete for the approval of men, nanami challenges anthy for touga's love and wins, but falls to the dauntless utena.

utena's dress amazes the students, particularly touga himself, who once again approaches her. utena is on the verge of asking touga if he is the prince from her memory but can't bring herself to, and i honestly wonder how he would respond if asked. on the one hand, his presence so far has been sinister and paranoia-inducing, always watching utena from afar, and so it wouldn't be a surprise if he were to falsely claim the prince's identity, yet i harbor some belief that he's committed enough to the rules of the council that he wouldn't dishonor himself through lies just for his own gain. i feel sure somehow that this question will be answered.

before utena and touga can end their conversation naturally, anthy's scream echoes through the hall - nanami's trap has been sprung and the dress, now soaked with champagne, is dissolving. there's a despicable sense of colorism and racism to the treatment of anthy that seems particularly strong here, especially following the scene of her anxiety amidst the many faces at the dance, all of which are light-skinned. the people around anthy treat her as lesser, striking, objectifying, and ostracizing her, and it's painful to watch. i'm not sure if the show will ever name this, but anthy does seem intentionally positioned as being south asian, possibly indian, if her birthmark is meant to echo the placement of a bindi. i recall an episode about india but... if my memory serves i don't think it was too focused on cultural politics...

in any case, utena's princely instincts kick in - she doffs her dress and saves anthy in dramatic fashion, wrapping her a new gown magically crafted from a tablecloth and asking her to dance. anthy smiles, and the two embrace, dancing in the center of the hall as the rest of the students watch, fascinated. nanami, realizing touga has feelings for utena, resolves to refocus her aggression, hinting at a duel to come. but utena and anthy are unconscious of this, swaying in each other's arms across the dancefloor. utena is living her fantasy - the prince who rescues the princess - while anthy is serving her role - the damsel in distress, the adoring bride. i still wonder how much comfort that brings her, or if she feels the bittersweet irony of utena saving her from a situation utena herself prompted. at these moments, she appears fulfilled, but is it just method acting?

"how i ache for a part in a play / i could say i didn't blow" - ferron

stray thoughts:

with the addition of nanami and the next episode preview, it seems we have names and colors for each of the rose characters: utena's is pink (or white), touga's red, saionji's green, juri's orange, miki's blue, and nanami's yellow. it seems like anthy's might be purple, but i'm not sure if that's been shown or just my association.

the integration of school life with the surrealism of the council continues to provide an interesting contrast; touga is excited by the prospect of the ball, and it seems intentionally unclear how much this plays into his role in the council and how much is the thrill of the chance to dance with his crush.

saionji has holed up in his room in shame after his second defeat by utena. it's nice not having him around, but i fear his return.

#shoujo kakumei utena #revolutionary girl utena #utena project #my writing #ferron #duel 03

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feifeixiv · 1 year

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For the Now

Having to debrief the experience of soul extraction and implantation into another vessel immediately after waking up in his own skin left Fei feeling more discomforted than the actual process. The nameless Garlean soldier, their body, left to be used at the whims of a madman and his accomplice. His mouth was a little dry, mind varying degrees of unfocused as he pieced the parts together little by little.

Perhaps he was rambling. The looks on the faces of his friends grew increasingly grim the more words spilled from his lips, eyes alternating between his face and each others’ as he explained the harrowing tale of mere moments ago. The only one who had yet to speak was G’raha Tia, mouth skewed into a tight, unforgiving line.

The sound of crunching snow as several sets of shoes ambled away to give him a brief reprieve, their dark whispers varying degrees of concern and disgust. The few who heard ruminated over the tale brought back by their Warrior of Light, some in disbelief, others in fury.

The tempering of the remaining Garlean people, setting the camp on edge as a handy diversion to spirit Fei away into the body of another. Dragging the unfamiliar sack of flesh through battle, and snow, and near death back to Camp Broken Glass. A last minute, desperate rescue of G’raha and Alisaie as Zenos yae Galvus reached close enough to maim, to murder, with Fei’s hands and Fei’s strength.

“I hope you’ll forgive me, Fei.”

The words broke through the fragile thoughts of Fei Qian, who, with a little shake of his hair, turned to G’raha with confusion. “Forgive? What is there to forgive?” he asked, pressing his fingers to either side of the bridge of his nose in an concerted effort to ease the anxiety building within his chest.

Worrying his hands together, G’raha avoided Fei’s pointed look. “When you went missing, our hands were full with Jullus and the others,” he explained, as had already been explained when Fei awoke. “Though I knew something was unusual, I could not spare the effort of finding you, of even thinking that something was amiss. I erred in my judgement, and for that I hope you may forgive me.”

“You may take heart in the knowledge that Zenos and the fool that accompanies him do not wish me harm or death.” The budding headache subsided, some of the pressure alleviating. Fei sighed in relief and focused now on the matter at hand. He placed his hands on G’raha’s shoulders.

“To incite my rancor, to bring my fury to bear, that it his wish.” He grimaced, fingers digging a little too hard into the meat of G’raha’s arms. For his part, G’raha did not complain, vivid crimson eyes locked onto Fei as though taking in every detail, memorizing a man with which he was already painfully familiar. “A goal to which he has dedicated his all; the harm to the lives of his people, the very land upon which he draws aether, the people I know and love, it is his gift and I the unwilling recipient.”

Fei’s heart raced a little in his chest, a burning ache stretching along his veins, prickling across his flesh. “The Champion of Eorzea, the Warrior of Light, the Hero of the people. Titles borne of triumph turned into spears with which to pierce. How much is one man meant to bear?”

G’raha stiffened, the words searing into him like a brand on his heart. Despondent, exhausted, distressed. Things that Fei rarely openly expressed were nakedly visible in the slant of eyes, the twist of his mouth.

G’raha took a step backwards out of Fei’s grasp, barely catching the split second flash of hurt shimmering in those bright eyes. He took a deep breath, eyes closers, steadying his resolve, before throwing his arms wide and leaping towards Fei.

Startled, Fei steeled himself for the catch, nearly toppling into the snow. Where their cheeks squished together burned with the cold. The hug was warm though, with the comforting weight of G’raha in his arms. The memory of his final days in the Crystarium, on the First, reeled through his mind, and the feelings Fei had suppressed rushed back with this simple gesture.

“G’raha,” he said, shocked, leaning over slightly to place him down. Neither of them released the other, hands fisted into matching coats like desperate lifelines.

“You are strong,” G’raha started clumsily, the words brushing past Fei’s cheek. “Yet even the strongest do not need to bear the weight of the world alone. Unworthy as I may be, please let me shoulder some of your burden, let me hold that which you cannot. What strength belongs to me, is forever yours.”

An aching, broiling sensation rose from Fei’s chest as he pulled back slightly, noses close enough to brush. A sour taste rose in his throat, but Fei ignored it, forcing back the damp warmth from his eyes. “You speak as though you’d stake yourself upon every spear rather than allow them close,” Fei said, half teasing, half in awe. Even without those final moments together before the Exarch became wholly crystalline recorded into the spirit vessel, G’raha, he…

“Should that be true, would you dislike it?” G’raha countered, a fierce blush burning on his cheeks.

Fei chuckled lightly. “You would never get the chance to put it to proof.”

#endwalker spoilers #my WOL #my prose #wolgraha #ffxiv #ffxiv spoilers

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fanfiction-recited · 1 year

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There was something beyond fear in Shmi’s eyes. Something beyond worry and terror. There was a bleak, hopeless resignation. The weight of an enemy unstoppable, the pain of a love that could only be used as a weapon against you. The burden of chains, too many to even count, too heavy to ever escape. The cost to flee them too high to bear.

It wasn’t just an expression, it was impressions, dancing along Leia’s skin, sliding into her mind and rippling against her own fear and grief, like Shmi was crying, straight into the well of Leia’s emotions, fearful and hopeless and—

(She’d given him away, she’d let them take her son, and she’d born the weight, the grief of that, assuming she’d never, ever get to see him, and then to have him back, to have another, too have more, all to have it be taken, balanced over fire and blades, her children—)

Arms, warm and strong, wrapping around Leia’s mind, wrapping around both of them. Bravery and courage and “I know there’s good in him,” and, “I wish I could be half as strong as you are.” Luke, Luke was still there, was always with her, would always—

“Luminous beings are we,” Leia heard Yoda’s voice, a clear memory, teaching and teasing, “not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me…everywhere, yes.”

For a moment, just one, Leia felt them. Like strings of light spinning out of her, reaching, reaching, reaching…

- Duty Bound by acuteneurosis, Archive Of Our Own

#quotes #fanfiction #ao3 #fanfic #star wars #leia skywalker #luke skywalker #shmi skywalker #duty bound

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lia-jones · 2 years

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Resistance - Evol: Chapter 26 - Home II

Author's note: Hello beautiful people! I come late but bearing gifts! Due to time constrictions, and because my chapters keep getting longer and longer, I have decided to only post every two weeks on Tuesday. It's the only way I can actually assure at this point to deliver content in a timely and consistent fashion. I hope you do understand.

I watched as Owen played with the waves, letting them softly kiss his tiny feet only to run away from them, giggling. I believe that before me and Victor, Owen had never seen the ocean. For me, the ocean had always been a big part of my childhood.

You should always greet the ocean before diving in, my mother taught us, her fingertips gently caressing the salty water. It will know you respect it, and it will welcome you and protect you.

And she laughed as she watched us play in the wet sand, the waves kissing us with the same sweetness they were kissing my son, as she took another drag of her usual cigarette. I couldn’t help but smile at that memory as well, moved by the simplicity and sweetness of all the things that mattered back then.

A much different reality now that she was gone. I was still shaking, my body echoing the tremble in my father's voice, telling us about the patient who came to visit my mother in her office with a gun, saying she hadn’t been able to quiet the voices in his head. He did the job himself, afterwards, his dead body joining my mother’s on the bloody floor.

According to the police and some witnesses, the whole situation didn't last more than two minutes. And I bet that for 1 minute and fifty seconds all my mother cared about was to help him. And for the last ten, the ones when she knew it would be her last, I know she thought of us. I wondered what she thought about me. The weight of unfinished business weighed on me.

The truth was, I didn’t know the faintest thing about my own mother. My family didn’t know anything about her either. She had lied to all of us, the woman I trusted with my life, the one I ran to when I needed solid ground, she had lied to me. About who she was. About who I was. To everyone.

But now that she was gone, it hurt not having the time to make amends. It almost felt petty to hold such lies against her. Because one thing I did know about my mother, an undeniable truth that no lie could taint: She loved me. And now that I was a mother, watching my son playing with soft waves as the tide rose, I could feel how she felt about me and my brother. And despite what I said in a moment of anger, there was nothing I wouldn’t do to protect my son.

“Mom, look at this seashell!” My son ran to me, handing me a somewhat large cone shaped seashell. “Isn’t it beautiful?”

“It is.” I smiled, taking it from his tiny hands to admire it. “Do you want to know a secret?”

He nodded, wide eyed.

“Seashells hold stories from where they’ve been.” I pressed the seashell against my son’s ear. “Can you hear the ocean? Like when you’re deep under water?”

“Like when I’m swimming with Dad and I dive real deep.” His mouth hung in astonishment as he paid attention to what he was hearing. “It sounds exactly the same.”

I smiled fondly, remembering how once it was my mother holding a seashell against my ear.

“I wish Dad were here to listen to it too.” Owen pouted slightly, giving me a dirty look. “He would have come and play in the water with me.”

“Well, about that, I need to talk to you.” I patted on the spot on the blanket beside me. “Sit down, Bug.”

My son gave me a puzzled look, but did as told, waiting patiently for me to start.

“If Grandpa asks… maybe we shouldn’t tell him about my and Dad’s experiment.”

“Why not?” Inquisitive brown eyes focused on me. Oh boy.

“Well, because it’s kind of a complicated story, and maybe Grandpa wouldn’t understand and worry. We don’t want to upset him.”

“Why should he worry?” Owen shrugged. “It’s only temporary, you’re not getting a divorce.”

“Exactly.” I felt my heart speed up slightly. “And I don’t want him to think that, so maybe-”

“What if he asks?”

“We say Dad stayed in Loveland because he was very busy with work, as usual.”

“But that’s lying.” Owen frowned, a slight accusatory tone in his voice. “Dad stayed in Loveland because you told him not to come, he wanted to help. Do you want me to lie?”

“You are right, lying is a bad thing.” I admitted. “But sometimes we do bad things because we want the best for the people we love. You can understand that, right?”

He paused, wearing the very same expression his father wore when pondering something.

“Yes, I can.” He nodded.

“Because you are the brightest boy I have ever met.” I kissed his forehead. “And I love you very much. Now, want to race me inside the house?”

The smile he gave me before bolting inside the house almost made me forget about the pain. Almost.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Pedro was cremated last night.” My father threw casually as he was making toast. I was by his side cutting fruit for breakfast.

“Who’s Pe…” And then it dawned on me. The man who killed my mother.

“I forgot to tell you, the police called me yesterday saying his body would be released. They scheduled the cremation right away. They didn’t even have a wake.”

“No point in mourning a murderer, I guess.” I answered dryly, my knife hitting the wooden board hard, echoing my frustration. “So they released his body, but not Mom’s? What a joke.”

“It’s an ongoing police investigation, Andy. That’s why it’s taking a bit longer. We need to be a little patient, that’s all.”

“Patient my ass, that sergeant is going to hear from me about this.” I started pacing, too worked up to stay still. “They won’t release my mother’s body, they won’t let us into her office, what for? There is no need for an investigation, we know who did it, that son of the bitch killed himself before we could bring them to justice!”

“He was sick.” My father held my arm lovingly, trying to calm me down. “He was desperate. Your mother would’ve wanted-”

“My mother would’ve wanted to be alive! She would’ve wanted to see her grandkids grow! She would’ve wanted to grow old with you! She would’ve wanted-”

I was interrupted by my father’s arms enveloping me in a bear hug. And at that moment, I was 8 again, and he was my Dad, my fortress, holding me steady. I wrapped my arms around him, waiting for the tears to come, but they simply wouldn’t. My heart refused to hurt him with my hurt.

“She would’ve wanted to apologize.” My father spoke. “She would’ve wanted to call you, and make amends. And she did, Andy. She never told me what happened between you two, and I have a feeling you won’t tell me either, but she loved you and thought of you every single day. And she forgave you.”

I looked up, reading the exhaustion and pain in my father’s eyes while he selflessly gave himself and forgot all about himself, so he could be there for me.

“How can you be so strong?” I pressed my face against his chest, wrapping my arms tighter around him.

“That’s what your mother would’ve wanted.” His voice shook slightly.

We broke the embrace and cleared our throats as we heard Owen enter the room.

“I’m hungry.” Owen mumbled as he rubbed his eyes. “What’s for breakfast?”

“Fruit and toast for my little red haired bug!” My father exclaimed, putting on a bright face. “Although your mother did a number on the bananas.” He showed the cutting board with the bananas I practically smashed in anger.

“It’s ok, I bet they still taste good.” Owen shrugged. “Do you have any honey?”

“Let me pour some for you.” My father poured the honey on my son’s toast, drawing a smiley face, just like he did to me when I was a child. “How’s your father, by the way? When is he coming?”

I froze, staring at my son, silently begging him to keep our secret.

“He’s not coming, he is too busy with work.” Owen shrugged as he bit his toast, making me deflate in relief.

“Between LFG and LCG and all that happened with Kasey, we thought it was simply not wise for Victor to leave town. He regrets not being here, but we still have a lot of issues to solve.”

“Life goes on, as it should.” My father smiled at me. “A man’s duty is to take care of his family.”

“Actually, he really wanted to come, but Mom wouldn’t let him.”

“Owen!”

“What do you mean, your mother wouldn’t let him?” I was about to answer, but my father raised his hand. “Let the boy speak, Andrea.”

Again, I felt like I was eight, caught red handed with the cookie jar.

“Mom and Dad are doing an experiment, because Mom needs to focus at work. She moved to another apartment, and I stay with Mom and Dad on different days.” He gave me an angry look. “But now it doesn’t even make sense, because you are not working! Why didn’t you let him come with us?”

“Is this true?”

“Yes, we have been…” I paused, choosing my words carefully in front of my son. “Living in different places for a while now. I didn’t want to worry you with it.”

My father watched my son as he calmly ate his breakfast.

“We’ll discuss this some other time.” He gave me a stern look, letting me know I wasn’t off the hook just yet. “You said you were going to the police station, see how the investigation is going?”

“Yes, I should go right now, actually.” I grabbed my purse, welcoming the chance to flee. “Do you mind if I take your car?”

“Take your mother’s.” My father walked to the hallway. “Let me get you her keys.”

“I know you told me not to say anything, and I disobeyed.” Owen whispered. “But sometimes we do bad things because we want the best for the people we love.”

Before I could retort, my father entered the kitchen again, handing me a set of keys.

“Will you be ok with him?” I asked, nodding towards Owen. “I can ask Josh to pick him up. Maybe you should get some rest.”

“He’s my grandson, of course I will be ok with him.” He ruffled my son’s curls. “Besides, this little guy and I have a lot to discuss.”

Which didn’t mean anything good for me. Even if Owen didn’t want to talk, my father would find a way to make him spill the beans. A skill he had learned from the very best of inquisitors, my mother.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

“What do you mean the morgue hasn’t released her body yet? It’s been three days already! It was a gunshot wound, you found the weapon, you found the culprit, there’s nothing more to investigate!”

“Lady, I already told your father, this is no longer in our hands.” The sergeant raised his hands apologetically. “Apparently what happened to your mother caused quite a commotion, and other entities were involved.”

“What other entities?”

“I am not at liberty to say.”

“Can I at least go to her office and get some of her personal belongings? She kept some banking information in there.”

“I suspect you won’t even be able to get close.” The sergeant sat down heavily. “The place is taped and heavily guarded. Whatever your mother or that patient were up to, we will find out soon enough.”

I paused, gathering my thoughts. Could this have something to do with her Evol?

“If they suspect my mother was involved in something, why hasn’t my father been contacted yet? Why aren’t they asking her family?”

“Mrs. Lee…” The sergeant gave me a grave look. “I honestly don’t know.”

Whenever my mother had a patient dealing with the grief of a deceased loved one, she would often use the term closure. That’s what they always came for, closure. The end of the chapter, the end of the pain, a brand new beginning. And then she would add, closure is impossible. There is no vacuum left when someone dies, something always stays behind, be it the words that remain unsaid, the projects that weren’t finished, a family that loves them and that will continue on, but always with their absence. In my mother’s case, especially because I knew things about her that no one else knew, closure was surely unattainable. And it felt like I had been left with this heritage, these actions which brought repercussions we were surely to feel, and I knew nothing about. Worse, I didn’t know how to deal with them.

I looked around inside my mother’s car with brand new eyes, to all the things that belonged to her, all the faint traces she had left behind, trying to assess who she really was. But I kept being drawn to the things that tied me to her, like the radio button I broke after a session at the therapist recalling my abuse, or the macaroni necklace I made when I was 4, which she hung on her rearview mirror. If Victor were here, he would know what to do. But I had been adamant in leaving him behind.

“I’ll postpone all my meetings for the next few days and get the jet ready.” He spoke as I packed my bag. “I’ll go home and pack, I’ll meet you here in half an hour so we can take the jet.”

“Victor…” I hesitated. “Look, I’m really thankful for you letting me stay for the night at your apartment and supporting me but…” I looked him in the eyes. “This is something I need to do by myself.”

I could see in his eyes he wanted to argue back, he wanted to insist on coming with me, but he kept silent. After an agonizingly long pause, he finally spoke.

“I understand.” He nodded, looking down. “But at least take the jet. It will make the long trip easier on you and Owen.”

“Thank you.” I smiled. “You don’t need to stay here and keep me company, I know you have better things to do.”

“You’re my number one priority.” He asserted. “Always have been, always will be.”

“Victor…”

“Always.” He declared. He took a step closer, holding my shoulder like he was silently begging me to look him in the eyes. “No, Andrea, you need to listen to me. I will respect the space you’ve requested, but on one condition: If you find yourself in a difficult situation that you can’t resolve on your own, you will call me and ask for help. You don’t need to go through this all alone. I’m here.”

“I know, but-”

“Remember when Mina passed away?” Gray eyes locked with mine, sharing a memory. “You gave me the space to mourn, but you never left my side. I want to pay you in kind. And don’t even dare say things are different because we are separated, because they are not. Whether you’re willing to accept it or not, my feelings bind me to you. This is an unbreakable bond, Andrea. I will always be by your side, even from a distance.”

He answered at the first ring tone.

“What on earth have you been doing?” He scolded me. “It’s been two days since you left!”

“You could have called me if you were worried.” I defended myself. “Are you seriously mad at me over this?”

“I was respecting…” He let out a sigh. “Forget it. How are you? How are things going?”

“I’m fine. Owen is also fine. He’s with my father now, otherwise I would pass him the phone.”

“I can call him later for that.” Victor paused. “Anyway, I’m glad you called. Thank you.”

“Yeah, I…” I bit my lip, planning in my mind what I would say. If I mentioned the word Evol, Victor would jump from his desk into a plane right away.

“Yes?” He urged with a soft voice.

“I could use your help, actually. The police is not being very cooperative in releasing my mother’s body for us to cremate. I don’t know what else to do, maybe the legal team could get some more information on how to proceed.”

“I will meet with them as soon as we hang up. I promise you this matter will be over by the end of your day.”

“Thank you.” I sighed in relief. At least I could do that for her.

“Anything else?”

“No, that’s huge already. Thank you.”

“You already said that. You don’t need to thank me. Just tell me how you are doing.”

“I’m fine. I’m doing fine.”

“You already said that too. Actually, you’ve been saying fine a lot.”

The truth was, even I didn’t know how I was doing. Whatever was there to feel, I was pushing it down, deep inside me. My goal was to help my father and to honor my mother like she deserved. I didn’t matter, and whatever feelings or issues or doubts I had didn’t matter either. I just had to keep going and do my best. So I answered in a way I was sure my husband would understand.

“My mother died.”

“Yes.” He paused. “I’ll call you as soon as I get an answer from the lawyers. Let me know if you need anything else. I lo-”

I pressed the End button before he could say it, my heart running a thousand miles per second. And then it dawned on me, what I really needed. I needed him. The one thing I refused to have, and I didn’t even know why anymore. In light of my mother’s death, none of what had happened had any weight.

I drove through the city, busying myself with errands, planning my mother’s funeral, confident that Victor would keep his word. After an hour, I got a call from an unknown number. It looked like it was from a landline in Lisbon, probably some contact Victor had sent out to help me.

“Estou?” I answered hurriedly, in Portuguese.

“Dr. Lee?” A vaguely familiar voice sounded on the other side of the line. “I hope I’m calling at an opportune time.”

“It’s me, yes.” I frowned. “How can I help you?”

“It is my understanding that your mother passed away recently. I am calling you to present my condolences.”

“And who are you again?”

“My apologies, I forgot to state my name. I am an old acquaintance of Victor’s, we met at your office, right after the release of the first part of your study, do you remember? Lucien Xu.”

I was silent for a moment, astonished by the way he spoke, like he hadn’t thrown some serious threats at me and my family, like he didn’t have a connection to that shady organization, like he was just some old friend, calling to pay his respects. I put him on speaker, my fingers swiping swiftly over the phone, typing Victor a text. He must have sensed my panic, because he spoke in a much softer voice.

“Dr. Lee, I must assure you that I wish you no harm. In fact, considering the present conjecture, you can truly believe I am a friend, not a foe. I’m certain your husband has his reasons to distrust me, but I can guarantee you the reasons that caused us to become opponents no longer exist. We are on the same side.”

I paused, staring at the phone, the unsent message staring at me from the screen.

“Why the change of heart?”

“A paradigm shift. A few years ago some important information came to surface, and what once was simply ceased to be. However, the stakes are much higher now, and at this point of the game, the pawns have either been defeated or put aside. The strongest pieces are at play now, and I’m afraid they won’t be deterred as easily.”

“Is this the part when you say it’s not a threat, it’s a warning?”

“If my determinations are correct, you must be aware by now of your true nature, which means you must be at least somewhat aware of your mother’s actions. However, I also estimate you are probably unaware of your mother’s true motivations.”

My finger hovered over the Send button, pondering my choices. Fight or flight?

“What do you know about my mother?”

“I know her death wasn’t a violent crime committed by a patient. Your little outburst at that island was enough to draw the attention of some very dangerous people. They found her through you.”

I took a deep breath, trying to make my voice sound as calm as possible.

“Alright, Dr. Xu, you caught my attention. And I’m pretty sure you’re not in Lisbon for the pastéis de nata. When do you want to meet?”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The smart thing to do would be calling Victor right away, telling him that if Lucien Xu was trying to reach me, he could also be in danger. From Lucien’s cryptic words, it was clear that Black Swan was still active, and not neutralized, like Victor thought. If he was in any danger, I should let him know right away, give him time to prepare himself for any potential attack. But my gut and my reasoning seemed to agree on one thing, if BS was out there and involved with that man, their focus was on my mother and me. I didn’t know how or why, but Lucien seemed to know a lot more about my mother than I did, and I wouldn’t let the opportunity to get that information slide. I couldn’t tell Victor, he would have forbade me to come, he would come and get me himself, but he wouldn’t allow me to go.

On the other hand, this could also be a trap, and I was deliberately putting myself in great danger. And if that was the case, I didn’t want Victor to be close either. I would be the only casualty.

I froze by the door of the café, spotting him through the glass panes, sitting in the back of the room. I took a deep breath, trying to slow down my heartbeat. I had no reason to be afraid, he wouldn’t dare hurt me in front of all those people.

“Impressive.” He smiled as he watched me sit down, facing him. “For a moment I didn’t think you would come. But it was obviously foolish of me to expect anything else.”

“You talk like you know me.” I gave him a bitter smile. “You don’t know me at all, Dr. Xu.”

“I know what you are capable of, even if you don’t know it yet, Dr. Lee. I know the extent of your power, what you can do with your Evol. In due time, you’ll see it for yourself.”

I felt like an easy prey, being played with before he delivered the fatal blow. I sat up straight in my chair.

“That still doesn’t answer why you are here, Dr. Xu. You say there was a paradigm shift, you are a different man now. What are your true intentions, then?”

“To honor the dead. Mine and yours. You see, we are bonded by our parents' past. One could even say we are family.”

“Our parents?”

“You must remember them, I’m sure. They were the ones that gave you those injections.”

I remembered the gentle man that held my hand and gave me lollipops. And after a while, I could see the resemblance. They even had the same soft polite voice.

“I do remember my mother telling me they were trying to leave Black Swan, while you do their bidding. I guess the apple did fall far from the tree this time.” I clenched my fists in anger under the table. “Do not try to fabricate a common ground using our families, Dr. Xu. You’re wasting your time trying to feed me such lies. I can’t speak for your parents, but I know my mother didn’t have any connections with Black Swan. If anything, she was trying to save me from them. She was trying to save me from people like you.”

“I have no intention of hiding my ties with Black Swan.” He calmly stirred a sugar cube into his coffee. “It felt like a heritage before, but now it’s only a necessary evil. You see, one must dwell into the dark cave to see just how dark it is. Your husband understands this idea very well. Your mother did too.”

“You know, I came here to find some answers about my mother, but now I realize my mistake. You say you know her, but you don’t, at all.” I stood up. “This was clearly a waste of my time. Do as you must, I’m leaving.”

“I know she dove deep into the cave like no one before her, just to save someone very precious to her. And in order to do that, she had to become one of those you hate so much.”

“My mother was a therapist.” I spat back.

“Your mother was a spy, one of the best Black Swan had ever seen. Her codename was Psyche. If you know what her Evol was, you’ll know how fitting the name was.”

“You’re lying.”

Lucien got up suddenly, his hand taking mine, forcing me to sit back down.

“Your mother risked her life repeatedly and gave it willingly so you could be saved. Don’t waste her sacrifice on the account of your clueless stubbornness.”

“Sacrifice?” I couldn’t help but raise my voice, even if slightly. “It wasn’t her sacrifice. It was of the children she left to die in that God forsaken orphanage. You talk about her like she was some hero, when all she did was cower away and hide, leaving others to their misfortune.”

“She was a hero!” He gritted through his teeth, his kind eyes now looking dangerous. “You have no idea of how many lives were lost because of you, and how it is to carry that weight. You don’t understand how special you are, and how you can potentially affect the destiny of many others, including mine. It’s time you learn your place in history, and live up to the role.”

“The role? What the hell are you talking about?”

Lucien kept silent, straightening his clothes, his dignified stance returning to him little by little.

“Maybe it was a little naive of me to think you’d take my word for it.” He brought the coffee cup to his smiling lips. “But fortunately, you won’t have to. As a true scientist, even if one of the mind, your mother always kept her studies very well documented. But I’m sure none of this is new to you.”

“What about it?” I was starting to lose my patience with this man.

“It is known she has documented everything that happened, every single detail of her past, for an event exactly like this one. Many people are looking for your mother’s journals as we speak. Why do you think it is taking so long for her body to be released and her office available for you to reach?”

My eyes widened. Of course he would know about this. Black Swan was behind it. By asking Victor to help me, I had put him in danger.

“It is time you honor all that was lost because of you.” He got up, dropping a ten euro bill on the table. “Should you fail to do what you were destined to, or try to run away from it, I will have no choice but to hunt you down and kill you.”

“Finally, the threat.” I smiled bitterly at him.

“As you expected, it is not a threat, only a warning.” He gave me a resolved look. “Dr. Lee, don’t take any of my words lightly. I am a friend.”

“A friend who will kill me if I don’t play his game.”

“Dr. Lee, make no mistake.” He bent towards me, his face closer to mine. “If we ever come to that, you’ll be the one begging me to put you out of your misery.”

#mlqc li zeyan #mlqc victor #victor mldd #love and producer fanfic #victor mlqc #growingtogether #mister love queens choice #victor x oc #love and producer #mlqc fanfic #mldd victor #li zeyan

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soraeia · 1 year

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@kinglyisms || from { x }

The question was initially just a playful joke, but upon seeing Eric seem to take it so seriously, she waited patiently for his answer. A curious smile as she watches him think...and think....and the longer his silence draws out, the more nervous she begins to feel. Allisae looks away and smiles at the darkening sky through the window instead, in hopes of making that anxiety less apparent.

She knew Eric, but often she found him unpredictable. And it scared her sometimes. Never in any manner that left her frightened for her own well-being---no, it was more a fear of hurting him somehow. Opening up old wounds. Accidentally picking at scars. Because for as tall and as strong Eric stood, there were times when Allisae found him quite fragile.

How she wished she could help bear some of the weight he tries to carry alone.

In this moment she found herself wondering if simply asking him such question forced some painful memories of his to resurface.

That worry seemed to be confirmed when he mentioned “Elisabeth”, a past lover from what it sounds like and a piece of knowledge that came as a surprise to her. But his next words catches her further off guard...

“When I met you, I learned to love through trust.”

“.......”

She stares at him for a while, not really worrying if she stared too long. Not paying mind to the flowers that begin to bloom from the soils of any potted plants nearby. Or the shift in magic within the air around her.

But then she remembers how sensitive the manor was, and so she tries her best to suppress her emotions again. Though this time the smile on her face as she glances away is genuine and warm. Happy.

“....Yes, I think so.”

#{ Allisae } ic #kinglyisms #(( ;u; ))

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snzhnrisen · 2 years

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"Your Majesty." He calls out to her with a voice that is soft, but firm. There's no intent to pity her, but to let her know of his presence in the room. His head bows lightly in his reverence, before he dared to take another step in the place. "I... Apologize for the disruption, milady. I wished to check in on your faring."

Was he worried for her? Certainly so. But it had felt disrespectful to express an assumption that she could be any vulnerable (whether it was true or not). She knew as much as him that her position called for a short-lasting mourning, and that patting her back would come as patronizing rather than helpful. So in his concern, he thought better of...

"May I?" His hand slipped out of his coat to gesture at the seat next to her. If he couldn't relate to her grief (for he was no friend of the Fair Lady himself), he could at least bear part of the weight of it, with his company.

@notnarvvhal

The room is silent as the night would embrace the palace and the region where the snow would cover it all. The Tsaritsa sits alone, eyes closed as she reminiscence of the days when Signora was present, when she first came, when they first talked, when she pledged her loyalty to the Archon of Snezhnaya. Memory goes back to the way they talked, enjoying each other’s company and discussing their goal, their pristine dream for a new world that won’t be seen by the pretty eye of the Fair Lady. The emptiness cannot be filled, the wintery love won’t reach the flaming heart and soul of Rosalyne, that sweet girl. Miroslava finds herself feeling the sadness continue to fill its cup inside her chest, the heaviness continues to make her wish for solitude up until she hears a familiar voice that makes the silver gaze open. The first time after Jester left, letting her to her own devices as he knew she wished to remain on her own with only the sound of the vyuga outside and the silence. However, her Polar Star could still enter this moment of grieving and mournful silence without eliciting a negative reaction.

At his apology, Miroslava brings her hand up to stop him from speaking further. It is not an apology that she wishes to hear and the fact that she did not send him off right away proved that he was welcome to stay, alas, she would prefer some silence right now. Her heart still cried for the woman’s death, so fair and so beautiful, no longer present and no longer shining brightly like a fire moth that would bless her gaze when the prideful maiden would be walking these halls. The fire no longer shined so brightly, but it was something that she should’ve expected to happen. Her dearest Harbingers won’t live as long as she does, but even her sacrifice won’t be the end. There will be a battle and there will war, but she won’t step away.

“ You may, ” her first words to him are soft and quiet, she leans back against her seat and closes her eyes again. Tartaglia may not be close to many Harbingers and he may not like them, but all of them were her warriors and her generals. No matter what, her heart would wish for their safety. Though, even if she wishes for their safety, if they betray her, she won’t hesitate to bring the sword of justice down on them and erase them from her path. Such is the payment for betrayal, traitors had no place in the search for the new world. This land, this place, this world... All must be burned away to create something new. “ She was so weak when she came to me, so broken, so lost. ”

He doesn’t need to like Signora to listen to Tsaritsa’s words. These words would’ve been told to him or to herself, it didn’t matter. What mattered was the memory that will now be carved in ice, enduring the scratches and continuing to push on. Every single life, every single person, every single sacrifice - it will be remembered, never forgotten. The eternal ice won’t forget and abandon their memory.

“ I will miss her, Tartaglia. I wonder... what caused Electro Archon’s decision, ” Tsaritsa had seen the ashes that were brought, they were nothing. A mess. Nothing important, but she did not blame the youngest of Harbingers for it. Raiden Shogun’s technique most likely left nothing behind: no ashes, no memory, no presence. The coffin was empty and the funeral was more of a ceremony to remember. “ When all of you depart and I am left alone, I swear that your memory will not die. ”

She knows he’ll stay as long as he will, but he is a mortal. And mortals die. So do gods, Miroslava knows it all too well. He is her polar star and her weapon, he will do anything to remain alive by the end of this battle, but Tsaritsa also knows that expecting it and hoping for it is too foolish. Thus, she sighs and goes quiet once more. In silence, she mourns once again her warrior - the Fair Maiden, La Signora.

“ You do not have to concern yourself with my being. Once the clock strikes midnight, I shall return to my office. ”

#notnarvvhal #NAANS IM CRYING IM ON THE FLOOR IM SOBBING #SHE IS SO SAD #⁽ ❅ ⁾ ‣ in character. ― ❛ snowstorm’s pained voice rings within your head as snowflakes melt. ❜

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genshin-scenarios · 3 years

Text

With an Adeptus!Reader...

A/N: Warning for spoilers of their backstories and Liyue's archon quest!

Characters: Zhongli, Xiao, Venti

Considering the hardships you went through before becoming an adeptus, Zhongli didn’t want to tie you to him with a contract; Liyue wasn’t in need of new warriors, and he was no longer leading the nation as Morax. Immortality erodes the spirit and memory, and with time comes a loneliness that can be hard to bear - thus Zhongli approached you with concern when he found out about your change.

What he hadn’t expected was for you to greet him with a smile and lighthearted conversation (it’s something he infinitely admires you for, really). Zhongli answers your questions pertaining his experience as an adeptus patiently, observing your reactions and body language to try and gauge if you're alright.

...You were a bit nervous about this transition though, and so Zhongli gives you a soft smile and places a reassuring hand on yours. Whenever you need him, don’t hesitate to reach out. He'd be more than willing to support you and listen when you have something to get off your chest. As both an experienced adeptus and friend, he’d like to be someone you can rely on.

The talk ends with you finally dropping your strong front and laying in his arms (it’s not as if he couldn’t see right through you anyways, though Zhongli knew better than to poke at it while you were coming to terms with becoming an adeptus.)

You still joked around even even as he was running his fingers through your hair (a calming motion), so at least that told him that you were fine. Zhongli can't help but chuckle when you point out that you match with him a little now, with your extra appendages/markings on your skin.

“You’d already brought light into my life when you were mortal.” Zhongli would remind you. “I will never lose sight of how our story began, nor take the rest of the time we have for granted.”

You’d laugh fondly, regarding him with a gentle gaze. “I thought you wanted to end this on a light note?”

“What could be lighter than the happiness you give me?”

Oh? “In that case, I’d have to thank you as well for painting my days in gold. Not just as Morax, but Zhongli as well.”

You’ve fought by Xiao’s side so many times that he could trace your movements as if they were his own. You weren’t from his generation of yakshas, but your purpose and combat prowess was something that he could comfortably rely on. He was proud to be able to say that you were comrades (and friends, and maybe a little bit more - Xiao was always cute when you teased him about that)

Like Madam Ping, you’ve opted to live amongst mortals to understand how to better support them in other ways. It’s quite a curious life you live, playing as a citizen by day and leaving for ‘work’ whenever needed, departing with a mysterious smile when asked about it.

Neither side of you was more ‘real’ than the other; as a citizen it was relaxing to indulge in mortal pastimes and learn to cook (regardless if you were very good at it), while traversing the land you love as an adeptus felt freeing, and battles always did give you a sense of purpose as it was something you’ve done for so long.

Though it’s always more fun when you can share the weight of a fight with Xiao - it’s nice how neither of you have to hold back in fear of hurting each other, and you share a familiar understanding that surpasses friendship, carefully built over time together.

Since he's so used to your presence, it sometimes surprises other people how casually he interacts with you (or even knows your habits/quirks), but you enjoy that little privilege that comes with your relationship. After all, once you've bonded on the battlefield for centuries, it's hard to call the other an acquaintance, right? It's not like it isn't mutual either~

“Hey, don’t forget that you can call my name too.” You nudged Xiao. “I’d never be late to a friend in need.”

He eyed the almond tofu that you’d abandoned for the sake of talking. “And have to argue about food with you after every patrol?”

“I said I’d cook!” You huffed. “You’re just stubborn. Eat more almond tofu and your muscles will become as soft as one.”

Xiao swiped your bowl from you, earning a yelp of protest. He wore the slightest of smirks as he finished it. “You said you wanted ‘real’ food. We can order more from downstairs.”

The first time he met you, Venti was only vaguely aware of you being an adeptus. He was visiting Liyue to have a drink with Morax but got a little lost (or so he said). He learn later that you were indeed in allegiance with the Geo Archon, though your contract was looser than the others as it was to look after Liyue’s people in general (the methods would be however you saw fit, and evolved as they did.)

“What a shame… You really signed your free time off to serve that blockhead, huh?” While you knew he was joking, you’d always wondered what he meant when he said it was a shame… You sometimes ponder this as you’re reminded of him, be it through the greeting of a breeze or singing of the birds.

Sometimes you’d visit Mondstadt during a mission, after which you would be invited by a certain bard to stay a bit longer, be it for some food or to catch the sight of the sunset from a different nation (Venti was always good at finding reasons to spend time together)

After Morax stepped down, Venti came to Liyue to check on you - he was aware of how the adepti respected and cherished his old friend, and offered his company as comfort. He’d sing, play the lyre or flute, or whatever that made you feel better. While he may joke about it, he really does admire your dedication to Liyue.

You laughed as a familiar pair of arms wrapped around your shoulders from behind. Venti’s greeting was cheerful as ever as your name rolled off his tongue. No matter how many times this has happened, it never stopped your heart from skipping.

“Aren’t you ever worried we’d fall over when you jump on me like that?” You turned to look at him.

“Well, I know my brave warrior is strong enough to catch me!” Venti winked. “And if not, the wind will save us!”

Always a charmer, huh? You’re reminded of a past conversation as he took your hand and started leading you away, telling you something about the Windblume preparations for this year.

‘Sometimes I wish we could stay like this forever.’

‘In that case, might we form a little contract for ourselves? I’ll promise you my forever if you do the same.'

#I kind of compiled these requests together and might do the same for some others 🙏#hope thats alright!#traveler wishes #soft dreams #genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin imagines #genshin headcanons #gi xiao x reader #gi venti x reader #gi zhongli x reader #xiao genimp #venti genimp #zhongli genimp #genshin reader insert #genshin x you

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merakiui · 3 years

Text

Apricity

yandere!albedo x (gender neutral) reader art credit - miHoYo cw: nsfw elements, yandere, captivity/restraints, unhealthy behaviors note - please come home to me and take care on the journey, albedo! :D also kindly heed the warnings. thank you!

His eyes are unnaturally pretty. Like twin crystals glittering in an expansive, dismal cave, searching for secrets unheard of within Mondstadt. Somehow you’re always in his peripheral, not too close and yet impossibly far at the same time. The distance is harrowing, terribly so, and Albedo knows it should be nothing short of a coincidence. When he shows up at your quaint stall with Sucrose, claiming to be in need of the exact wares you happen to sell, you pay it no mind. After all, you’ve met your fair share of regulars, and their support is what keeps you afloat.

But there is more to those beautiful irises than he lets on. Whether it’s intentional or not, you can’t exactly say. You suppose you would rather run into someone as well-respected as Albedo as opposed to an unlikable stranger with ill intent. And it’s always great to see a familiar face, especially when he chooses to peruse your stall rather the others around you. It isn’t all that strange; you’ve even become friends with Sucrose during your short interactions. Albedo has indulged in stiff conversations with you before, but most of them were meaningless. Simple throwaway chatter between two acquaintances.

Oddly enough, Albedo finds himself wanting more. He doesn’t want to talk about the weather or the transitioning seasons; he wants to listen to you explain how your day was and if you made more profit than the day before that. He wants to stand there and immerse himself in your pleasant voice, ignorant to the hustle and bustle of the people around him. And yet he just can’t. For a variety of reasons that pull him out of the haze of intrigue, you’ll always remain in the background. And he simply can’t bear the thought of that.

It’s rude to deteriorate a relationship that’s only just begun to blossom. If your meager acquaintanceship with him were to wither away into dust, he would feel obligated to keep it going—as if he were simply beating a dead cow with a stick. Although your hobbies differ from his, it’s nothing he can’t handle. A genius must familiarize himself with other areas of study if he intends to craft solutions that are outside of the box.

“Albedo?”

Your tone is meek and small, tinged with the slightest shiver. Part of him feels bad for lying to you, but you were just so trusting. It’s almost comical how easily you fell into his trap. If he gets to see you in such a delicious way all the time, he’s more than willing to forsake the truth to meet his own desires. A selfish wish, yes, but it’s absolutely wonderful.

“What is it?”

He eyes you from his spot behind the easel, and even though you can’t see him you can feel his piercing gaze. Like the sun shining brightly in a wintry afternoon, his eyes smolder with unbearable heat and yet his expression is cold with brilliant focus.

“A-Are you almost done? It’s really cold.” Your bare back touches the wall and you flinch, an instinctual response that makes Albedo’s brow quirk. “And this is sort of...weird.”

“How so?”

He says that in such a dismissive manner, acting as if your current position isn’t compromising. As if this was a normal exchange between friendly strangers. You have trouble finding your voice in this situation, especially since talking seems like such a chore. You’re worried you’ll say the wrong thing and then it’ll leave a false imprint of who you are on Albedo. But you’ve always been nice, unable to refuse those who are kind in return, and so you’re forced to endure the discomfort that comes with modeling nude for this peculiar alchemist.

“Think about it.” You distract yourself with a ramble of an explanation—certainly more than what’s necessary, but Albedo doesn’t mind. He finds solace in your voice. “You’re looking at me and I’m...n-naked. And we don’t really know each other. I’m not trying to vilify you when I say this, but I don’t want you to do anything bad to me. N-Not that you would! It’s just—this is really weird. I’ve never done anything like this before.”

“Hm.”

“And do I have to be tied up like this?” You shuffle in your bindings, fingers scrabbling over the cuffs and chains that jingle like horrible sleigh bells.

“You were moving too much earlier. I won’t be able to get your anatomy right if you’re constantly fidgeting.”

But it’s uncomfortable, you think, chewing on your lip out of habit.

“I guess I understand. It must be an artist thing, right?”

“You could say that.”

His work on the canvas offers a display that’s just as lewd as the real model, down to the way your nipples perk and harden in the cold. He’s not even close to finishing and that’s a blessing in itself. He could stare at your figure for hours on end, committing every inch of your flesh to memory, and he wouldn’t grow weary.

“Do artists normally blindfold their models? I don’t really know anything about this stuff, but it’s okay if it helps with the process.”

“I find it to be interesting,” he answers, simple and vague as ever. “It adds a mysterious touch to the finished piece.”

“So you draw the model with the blindfold?” You’re used to gazing upon paintings of flowers and portraits of influential historical figures rather than blatant nudity. “Artists are definitely unique.”

Albedo hums in response, secretly reveling in your naïveté. At the end of the day, you’re just a normal citizen of Mondstadt, who stands behind a wooden stall every single day and happily chats with potential customers. You excel in business, but when it comes to the inner workings of art you’re at a loss. And that makes it all the more easier for Albedo to spin all sorts of wild tales. He fears that gullible nature will harm you in the future, yet there isn’t a threat in sight. Not when you’re here in front of him, no longer confined to his peripheral. And you’ll stay there for however long it takes him to finish this painting.

It’s a twisted infatuation. Albedo knows he shouldn’t take too much of your time or else he’ll become addicted and it will be impossible to focus on his studies. But he can’t stop himself or his wandering gaze, which trails up your midriff. Higher and higher until he’s staring at your face, eyes obscured behind the soft fabric of a blindfold. Your body is a temple he wishes to worship, and perhaps that’s a sacrilegious thought that ought to have him consider the weight of his emotions.

And yet you’re far too irresistible. His thoughts are dangerously potent, swirling within his brain like a maddening hurricane. Surely your missing presence in the market won’t be questioned if he were to keep you just a little longer. Longer than the boundaries of sanity will allow, that is. There are other vendors who sell the same things you boast; the economy won’t shatter if you’re not there to provide.

The paintbrush moves along the canvas in even strokes and suddenly Albedo’s mind is wandering between subjects. From art to alchemy, love to lust, and the wondrous crevices in your anatomy that call out to him. The brush stills in his hand. If he’s not mistaken, Sucrose will be stopping by to assist him and the last thing he needs is staining his appearance in a suspicious color.

“Albedo?” His name rolls off of your tongue in such a delectable way; it’s almost sinful how his thoughts race and race in an endless track. “Are you almost done? My back is sore and the floor’s really uncomfortable.”

“Sorry. This will take longer than I thought.” He sets his brush and palette down, and you listen to his footsteps as they draw near. “Something has come up, but I promise I won’t be long.”

“Wait. You’re not going to leave me, are you? I need to get back to the marketplace!”

Before you know what’s happening, the blindfold is coming off and you’re locking eyes with Albedo, who peers at you with intense scrutiny. Certainly the look of a genius studying a textbook. You grow flustered all at once, just now coming to terms with the fact that he looked at your body for longer than you’d like to admit. Shyly, you shut your legs to obscure your private parts, but it’s not like that will help the embarrassment that claws its way onto your expression like a persistent beast.

“You’re better off waiting here.” He shrugs off his coat, draping it over your shoulders as if that’ll keep the dreadful chill away. “As much as I would like to finish this now, I have other work that must be taken care of.”

“I get that, but you can’t just leave me here! That’s practically kidnapping!” you protest, hoping he’ll heed the desperation in your trembling vocals. “At least, that’s what this feels like.”

“I wouldn’t kidnap you,” he says, amusement flashing in his eyes. “You’re too funny.”

Yet he isn’t laughing and neither are you as you helplessly watch him depart. The floor is too cold for your liking and the idea of entrapment settles under your skin like a million maggots feasting on a decaying, chilled copse. Devoid of warmth and carrying an air of measured grace, Albedo doesn’t spare you another glance.

He doesn’t need to. He’ll have all the time in the world to study your body like it’s the finest artwork, and you’ll be powerless to object.

#genshin impact #yandere genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #yandere genshin impact x reader #genshin impact albedo #albedo x reader #yandere albedo x reader #genshin impact albedo x reader #yandere genshin impact albedo #yandere albedo #albedo #genshin impact fanfic #he's so handsome :0 #in writing this i hope it will bless me with luck

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lunar-wandering · 3 years

Text

so today i remembered to transfer the Shadowpeach Drabbles I wrote for @winterpower98 Cursed AU onto Ao3, and in honor of that (and simply because I wanted to) I have written a bonus part-

"Another cave? Seriously?"

The group of three stood at the entrance to the cave, looking in, trying to see as far as they could into the darkness.

"Must we explore every cave we stumble upon?" Macaque sighed.

"Well, it's not gonna explore itself." MK shrugged, turning to go in, only to be stopped as Wukong leapt in front of him.

"Oh no you don't." He said, "You're not going in there by yourselves. I'm coming with you this time."

"Wait, why would you-" Macaque started, confused.

"Because the last time you two went into a cave by yourselves, MK ended up with an injured leg." Wukong said, arms crossed. "I'm coming with you this time, and that's final."

"But what about-" MK started-

"It's fine. I'll be fine." Wukong said, walking past MK and Macaque, marching into the cave as though if he waited any longer he'd loose his nerve. "Let's hurry up and get this over with."

MK watched his mentors back with concern, before glancing to the side to see Macaque mirroring his expression. Said expression snapped back into a more neutral one once he noticed that MK was looking at him though.

"C'mon." Macaque said, nudging MK as he walked past him. "Let's make sure he doesn't freak out and fall down a hole or something."

Surprisingly enough, things didn't immediately go downhill.

Well, that is, up until-

A loose rock tumbled down from above, and Wukong, who was already very on edge, startled backwards, bumping into Macaque and knocking him over, sending the both of them rolling over a ledge and down a small cliff, the both of them ending up laying on top of each other.

MK, after doing a quick check and making sure they were both okay, stood on the edge of the ledge and smirked.

"I thought you said you were going to keep him from falling down a hole." He said, and Macaque groaned.

"I didn't think he'd knock me down with him." He said, slowly moving to sit up as Wukong hurriedly backed off of him, giving a murmured apology.

And then MK jumped down the ledge, landing with a thump and knocking loose a few more rocks, and suddenly Wukong was clinging to Macaque again.

(Macaque was suddenly grateful, that he was the one with the super hearing. He wasn't particularly fond of the idea of Wukong noticing how fast his heart was racing from the close contact.)

"Sorry." MK said, wincing as he realized he'd startled his mentor. Wukong gave him a nervous smile.

"It's fine bud." He said, but Macaque could feel him shaking a little. Macaque sighed, before starting to try and peel Wukong's arms off of him.

"You can let go of me now." He said, trying to ignore the knowing look MK was giving him. "C'mon, we won't be able to move if you keep clinging to me like this-"

"It...helps though. The touch, I mean." Wukong reluctantly admitted, slowly letting go. "Though you're right, I guess we wouldn't be able to move if I'm clinging to you like-"

"Why don't you just carry him then?" MK asked, and Macaque's head shot up.

"What-" He hissed, and then nearly bit his tongue to keep himself from yelping as suddenly he was being lifted up, being held tight against Wukong. The Monkey King wordlessly held him bridal style, obviously happy for a way to maintain contact while also being able to move. His arms were tight around Macaque as though he was holding onto a teddy bear for comfort. He turned around, starting to walk as Macaque remained silent in shock, trying to process what had just happened.

He looked over Wukong's shoulder, back at MK, who gave him a smirk and a thumbs up.

Oh that little sh-

The shock finally wore off, and Macaque started struggling.

"Put me down!" He hissed, fur bristling. "I can walk by myself!"

"I know." Wukong said, but didn't even loosen his grip in the slightest.

Macaque gave up on struggling suspiciously quickly.

Oh, how MK wished he had a camera.

Well, actually, he did, in fact, have his phone with him, but every time he started trying to pull it out, Macaque would glare at him from over Wukong's shoulder.

MK eventually resolved to committing the image to memory in order to draw it later.

As it was though, they'd found another exit out of the cave, one that lead into a wide open meadow instead of the dark forest they'd been traveling through. Wukong immediately let out a relieved sigh, slouching a little and loosening his grip on Macaque, who almost immediately jumped out of his arms, brushing invisible dirt off his clothes.

"Glad that's over." He said, before registering the muffled giggling coming from behind him.

MK kept one hand covering his mouth to keep his giggles quiet, and at Macaque's questioning look, he subtly gestured to the monkey's tail.

Which was currently wrapped around Wukong's.

Wukong seemed to notice this fact at the exact same time Macaque did, an embarrassed flush taking over both monkeys faces, their tails letting go of each other as they looked away in different directions, avoiding eye contact.

MK almost wished that Mei (or maybe even Red Son) was here so that he could have someone to lose his mind over this with.

Pretty much anyone would do, really, he just needed someone to rant to about all this-

Wait. He could have someone to rant to, now that he thinks about it.

He looked back over at Wukong and Macaque, making sure that they were suitably distracted.

And then he took one of his hairs and blew on it.

And Porty MK popped into existence.

He still looked like a monkey, exactly like how MK currently did, but the sunglasses and coat made it obvious that it was Porty. (MK never really did understand how Porty and the others had managed to maintain their clothes and personality. To be honest he....didn't really want to think too hard about it.)

Anyways, back to business.

"Are you seeing this?" MK asked, gesturing over at where Wukong and Macaque had somehow swapped from looking away from each other, flustered, to all out glaring at each other, albeit with a certain sense of playfulness in it that would be hidden to anyone who wasn't looking for it.

"Oh, I'm seeing it alright." Porty said, before smirking a little. "But don't worry OG, y'see, I've got a plan."

And really, MK should've dispelled Porty right then and there.

But on the other hand, it'd been weeks. Weeks of dealing with the mutual pining that rivaled the number of pine trees in the forest they'd been walking through.

In the end, he'd ended up accepting Porty's plan.

Porty shook MK awake later that night. (MK had dispelled him as they'd walked through the meadow, only bringing him back in secret before going to bed once they'd made it back to the edge of the forest.) The clone must've been hiding in the trees or in a bush, MK thought, as there were stray leaves within his hair.

"They're asleep." Porty whispered, "C'mon, OG. Let's hurry this up."

MK crawled out of his sleeping bag, shaking some of the tiredness out of his body as he stood up.

The plan was simple.

MK would push Wukong out of the tree. Porty would catch him. (MK had, recently, discovered the Monkey King was actually a heavy sleeper. His strong nighttime vigilance from legends had literally only been the result of him not sleeping at all.) Once they'd secured Wukong, they'd carry him and lay him down near where Macaque slept, and simply let things play out from there.

MK was halfway up the tree Wukong was sleeping in when he remembered something important.

"...Are you sure you'll be able to catch him?" MK asked, and both he and Porty went silent as they remembered just how easily a clone could be destroyed.

"...Good point, OG." Porty said, "Let's swap, I'll push him out of the tree, you can catch him."

With a quick change of positions, the plan was back in motion. Porty shoved Wukong out of the tree, and MK caught him, stumbling a little under the dead weight. (And oh, was he ever glad for his super strength.) The two of them paused for a moment, waiting to see if Wukong would wake up.

When the Monkey King showed no signs of stirring, Porty jumped down from the tree, landing beside MK, and the both of them turned around, slowly walking over to where Macaque lay on the other side of the camp.

"...What are you doing?"

And oh, MK had just known he had forgotten something.

Both MK and Porty startled, MK only just barely keeping himself from dropping Wukong, as they whirled around to see-

Wukong's hair clone, lounging back on his cloud, watching them with a disapproving look.

"It was his idea!" Porty quickly said, pointing at MK, who let out an offended "Hey!", before suddenly Porty dispelled himself, disappearing in a quick flash, leaving MK alone with the Wukong hair clone.

MK nervously giggled, tightening his grip on the asleep Monkey King as the hair clone's eyes narrowed.

And then suddenly the clone smirked, amusement in it's eyes, and MK relaxed, letting out a breath of relief.

"It's about time you actually tried to push things along." The hair clone said, lounging back on its cloud, looking away. "I can't say he's gonna be happy in the morning though."

MK rolled his eyes, he'd already long since accepted he'd probably have to go through some kind of stern telling off tomorrow. With the hair clone seemingly having given it's permission, MK turned, completing his mission of bringing Wukong over to Macaque, gently laying the Monkey King on the ground beside the shadow monkey.

Macaque shifted, rolling over, and MK froze, worrying that he'd accidentally made too much noise-

But then Macaque put an arm around Wukong, pulling him closer, Wukong responding by nuzzling into the other's neck as their tails curled together.

MK made no short work of pulling out his phone and snapping a picture. (And sending said picture to both Mei and his own email. One could never have too many backups after all, Macaque was sure to try and delete it once he knew it existed).

Mission accomplished, he returned to his own sleeping bag, whispering a quiet good night to the Wukong hair clone as he walked by.

(In all honesty, MK didn't think this would get Wukong or Macaque to confess. It might push them a little closer to it, yes, but it wouldn't make it actually happen, no, there was far too much going on, too much history for one night of cuddling together to lead to a full out love confession.

Until that time, he'd be fine with just watching the chaos that unfolds.

....He was fairly sure that, come morning, their expressions would be hilarious to witness though).

#Monkie Kid #Cursed AU #Shadowpeach #my writing #Snitching Clones

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amistytown · 3 years

Text

Power Over Me (Leviathan x GN!MC)

Leviathan x GN!MC as Lord of Shadow and Henry; MC is referred to as Henry but remains gender-neutral. I enjoy the TSL lore in Obey Me and wanted to write a bit for it. I initially had an alternate ending in mind, but I decided to save it for another idea I might write at some point. Tried to keep Levi in character while giving him and the story a slightly different feel since it takes place in a fantasy world. Also listened to Power Over Me by Dermot Kennedy on repeat while I wrote this so chose to title it accordingly. Hopefully, it turned out all right. Trigger warning for mentions of blood and self-deprecating thoughts. Mostly some angst with fluff. As always, sorry for the typos that I may have missed, and thank you to everyone who takes the time to read. I appreciate it!

Lightning illuminates the throne room, the Lord of Shadow watching the rain batter the windows, gaze sullen. A storm rages outside, mirroring the flood of emotion bursting forth to drown him in misery. Though he can only hold himself accountable, allowing his envy to fester and take possession of his heart in a moment of weakness. He regrets the letters he frantically wrote in his jealously, the heated words exchanged between you, and your pain forever engrained into the parchment, the ink smudged by your tears, which now lay in pieces at his feet. He considered to make the journey to you, begging for your forgiveness, but he knows he’s undeserving. Instead, he mourns the loss of your friendship, the loneliness left in its wake burning him from the inside out as he cries into his hands, his tortured sobs lost to the thunder roaring above.

The doors swing open, light spilling in from the hall. He recoils at the intrusion, anger welling and threatening to spill over, his patience worn thin. A growl dies in his throat, eyes widening at the vision before him, so beautiful and precious his entire being aches with longing. Slowly, he takes in the sight of you, engraving every detail into his memory. Your windswept hair and the raindrops trickling down your face, clinging to your lashes and following the curve of your lips as you smile sweetly at him, staggering into his arms.

“Henry,” he whispers into the nape of your neck, daring to embrace you and revel in the feel of your body against his; your skin cool and soft, and your scent rich, intoxicating him. He’s certain he’s not worthy of your compassion, yet he can’t bear to turn you away, selfishly clinging to you and delighting in the fact you lean into him, your arms winding around his waist to pull him closer. My Henry, he thinks, tightening his grip, afraid he’ll lose you again if he’s not careful. “I’m sorry. I’m so so—”

You grow limp, legs buckling under your weight.

Fear engulfs him, heart lurching as he supports you, catching your hand in his. “Henry?” he whimpers, noticing how your chest heaves with each breath, and the way your brows knit in discomfort, a low groan slipping past clenched teeth. “Henry! What’s wrong? Tell me, please.”

“I ran into a bit of trouble on the way here,” you manage, laughing pitifully. “I didn’t realize . . .” Your fingers fumble to unclasp your cloak, and he swallows thickly at way lay beneath. Blood soaks your blouse—a sickening shade of red—the fabric sticking to your back.

“You didn’t realize?” he cries, incredulous. “Henry—”

“I just wanted to see you.” Your voice wavers, head lolling to the side. He calls to you, shaking you by the shoulders, desperate to keep you beside him. However, your eyes close, grief overtaking him when they don’t reopen.

“You’ll be okay,” he reassures, robes billowing around his ankles as he rushes down the corridor, gently cradling you to him. Guilt plagues him, reminding him how pathetic he is, especially for hurting you and putting your life at risk; how could he act so recklessly. You’re the light to his darkness, breathing life into his world, and he can’t accept losing you—his happiness—your love dispelling the shadows that once consumed him. He never knew a truer friend, and he’s positive there’s no one else who could play such an important role—you’re irreplaceable. There’s plenty of time to atone for his sins, tonight he needs to make sure you live to see the morning.

“I’ll take care of you, Henry. I promise.”

Time comes to an agonizing standstill.

The Lord of Shadow remains at your side, hoping and praying you don’t succumb to your wounds. He watches you closely, frequently checking your pulse and finding comfort in the steady beat of your heart while you sleep, looking deceivingly peaceful in his bed. His focus is on you, never straying from his true friend’s wellbeing despite his inner turmoil, which threatens to tear him apart at the seams. You keep him together, and again he’s at your mercy, owing you his life for all you’ve given him—his hero—his Henry. He hurt you, but you came to him and offered him forgiveness, willing to sacrifice yourself to save your friendship. How can you care about him with such ferocity, a brooding reclusive lord who’s unworthy of his title? No matter the days spent apart, you return to him, accepting him into your life without hesitance, and he can’t help welcoming you back with open arms.

“I’m so sorry,” he mutters. “I’m terrible. A worthless—”

“You’re not.”

For an excruciating second, he wonders if he imagined the glorious sound of your voice, and an anguished sob escapes him, tears clouding his vision. You stare up at him, eyes heavy with sleep, and a lazy smile on your lips. He’s dreaming, he reasons, shaking his head in disbelief. Then your hand is in his, familiar and warm; he shivers at your touch.

Gasping, he pulls away. “Y-you . . .”

“Forgive me,” you say, so understanding—so sweet—your kindness unfathomable. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“N-no,” he stammers, head spinning. “I’m sorry.” Tentatively, he reaches for your hand, fingers quivering as he entwines them with yours. “I’m sorry.” His tears come faster and harder, shamefully hot on his cheeks. He’s unable to articulate how sorry he is or how his very soul painfully throbs at the thought of hurting you—losing you—wishing he could turn back the clock. “For everything.”

You give his hand a reassuring squeeze. “It’s okay,” you soothe. “I’m sorry, too.” Sitting upright, the blanket bunches at your waist, and he can see where the bandages peek out from beneath your shirt, the skin bruised, making him wince. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

“I’m the reason you’re hurt,” he chokes out, averting his gaze. “It’s the least I can do.”

“It’s not your fault.”

You’re wrong, he wants to say; however, he refrains.

“I don’t blame you,” you continue. “Look at me, please?”

He shouldn’t. Surely, he looks foolish, a mere hostage to his emotions. Nevertheless, he spares you a glance, wondering why you regard him so kindly—lovingly even—causing his heart to flutter.

“It’s not your fault.”

Not his fault? His mind tells him differently; it’s a sea of dread and uncertainty that washes over him in waves, dragging him under. The sincerity of your words is difficult to ignore, and, in that instance, he decides to trust you, finally breaking the surface. “Henry,” he murmurs, hugging you to him, arms wrapping around you protectively as if to shield you from the world. His tears wet your hair, body trembling, and you hold him, letting him come undone in your embrace.

“I wanted to see you,” you say, setting him alight. “I couldn’t bear the thought of you suffering on your own.”

“Henry—”

“I know you’re struggling. It’s okay. I’m here.” You rub his back, resting your head on his chest. “I’ll always come when you call.”

“You’re the truest of friends, Henry. I fear I’m not worthy . . .”

“Of course, you are. I’ve never known a truer friend than you, my lord.”

“I can’t help worrying someone will steal you away. It’s selfish of me, I know. Though I feel so inferior in comparison. Sometimes I think you’re better off without me.” When he learned you met with the Lord of Corruption, his insecurities grew, fanning the flames of his envy. Why choose him over his brother? The Lord of Corruption could provide you with more than he can give. The rest of his brothers, too; they could care for you—protect you—unlike him. You’re here with him though, leaving his brother behind at a moment’s notice, and you did come when he called, eager to please. He wants to return the sentiment. “I can’t articulate how important you are to me. I . . . you’re so special, Henry.”

“No. No one compares to you.” Your praise captivates him. “All I ask is for you to trust me. Talk to me so I can help you. I accept you, all of you, and that’s not going to change. I love you as you are.”

“Love me?” he breathes.

“Yes, I love you.”

A simple but genuine vow of love. He stills, terrified he’ll faint in your arms as he hides his face, heart racing. The cynical part of him says it’s too good to be true, but he knows better—he knows you. He’s envisioned this moment, and it’s far sweeter than his fantasies, your love a beautiful feeling that sweeps him off his feet.

“Have you slept?”

He sighs, mouth unbearably dry. “No.”

“Come to bed. You should rest.”

“Henry! W-with you?”

“You say that as if it’s the first time we’ve shared a bed,” you tease.

“You’ll be the death of me.” Although he complains, the bed dips beneath his weight as he settles beside you, reaching for your hand. “Is this, okay?”

“It is.” Shifting onto your side, your hand tightens around his, a flicker of pain twisting your features.

He tenses, frowning. “Are you okay?”

“I’m all right. Better, thanks to you.”

He can see the exhaustion in your eyes, the dark circles beneath them, and the stiffness of your movements, betraying the smile you wear for him.

“Who hurt you?” he asks.

“No one you need to worry about. Not now.”

Unsurprising. You’re his Henry, besting him and his brothers on multiple occasions; anyone who chose to challenge you is a fool. Yet, your blood flowing freely, covering his hands—the ungodly stench—stayed with him. He clearly recalls your lifeless body, and how the color drained from your face, the heaviness of his heart breaking when he believed he lost you twice in one day. You looked so fragile then and do now, trusting him at your most vulnerable. Hatred for the one who dared to harm you runs deep and for himself for not protecting the one he loves.

“I thought I lost you,” he admits, inhaling sharply. “I-I . . .”

“You didn’t. You won’t.” You catch his tears as they fall. “I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

“I love you, too.” His declaration is quick and clumsy but true; he’s loved you for so long.

Caging you in his arms, he hovers over you, peering down at you shyly. His body shakes with every beat of his heart, ears ringing, but he admires you, gaze affectionate and a light blush dusting your cheeks. He’s scared. He’s scared of losing you most of all, trying to muster half the courage he knows you possess. “I love you, Henry,” he says softly, clutching your hand, his lifeline. Closing the distance between you, he catches your lips in a tender kiss, the magnificence of it sending a rush of blood to his head. He forgets how to breathe, dizzy on the taste of your love, and collapses next to you, questioning if he died and ascended to the heavens. With you by his side the future is much brighter, and, for once, he looks forward to what it brings.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me leviathan #obey me mc #obey me reader #leviathan x mc #leviathan x reader #my writing

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sepia-mahogany · 3 years

Text

Platonic Hanahaki

The stories are just as widely known, of loving and losing, of yearning and forgetting, common in present time as they were years ago, of loving someone so deeply, without desire but not without passion, of kings and warriors, of lovers and brothers, of people not kin not lovers, growing in their lungs the flowers with thorns that cut deep, and drank away their blood without leaving any survivors.

Of course the tales are many, as tragic as they are, of how a man who killed his beloved for making him feel what he deemed unnecessary, his beloved who offered him a little white carnation, covered red in blood, but he held up his sword and cut through flesh, only to follow few days later in his grief.

Or of how a woman travelled across seas, in search of her soulmate, for the agony of her blood kept her comfort, for the heartbeat that echoed along with the garden she grew inside her lungs, because it meant her beloved was well, until one day, she coughed up a black rose and sank to her knees, disappearing from the world.

Of course, there were the ones who lived and got their happy ends, filled with their beloved ones caress or tears of guilt, and so was recorded, the flowers turning to dust and fading away, for their love had been acknowledged, so why the need for the reminder in their veins? Only marks appear on their skin, the place where they first made contact, sometimes the cheek, sometimes the hand, sometimes unseen under the clothes from when they rough-housed as kids.

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Jiang Fengmian closed the book that he read, the pain blossoming sharp in his lungs, since that night when he sat, staring at the lotuses under the moonlight, his mind drifting to moments of the past, of longing of what once was, Lotus Pier once his home, felt more like a shackle around his wrists, yet this was his responsibility and he would bear the weight.

He thought to the day he waved away his dearest friend, the one by his side since they were young and grown into the men they were today, and as life went on, it was natural and it was expected, so Fengmian had not been forlorn but rather joyfully wished them well with sincerity and hoped they could visit some time in the future.

He was happy for Changze, for he had found his One, he’d seen the way he looked at her and she at him, he may have held affections for one of them but his love for their friendship outweighed it, and he would be content if they were healthy and successful in the path they chose, but even he knew with their own busy lives, it would be difficult to meet for a long time, so he bid them farewell and cherished their memories.

He didn’t feel as disappointed over his marriage as he originally did, it might have been arranged because of Meishan Yu Sect’s pressuring and his mother’s continuous desire for wanting one of theirs to be his bride, ‘to be the stern hand to his mellowness’ she had said, and what kind of a filial son would he be if he broke the betrothal off now?

And it was not as if he knew the Third Lady of Meishan Yu personally, seeing his brother-in arm’s relationship, his heart could not help but swell with hope, perhaps they could come to understand one another? He looked at his flowers, the ones he had grown with them, and the purple lotuses blooming near the entrance and thought, would she notice how the the colour reflected her eyes? Maybe a boat ride would help? Making future plans with anticipation, he felt a smile blooming on his face.

The day of the wedding came and went, except the chambers of the first night of the married couple remained empty, for his wife had requested for separate quarters in the privacy of their room, he agreed, perhaps she was nervous? Knowing each other better was better than consummation with a stranger, he nodded to himself, he should probably help make her comfortable as her husband.

He approached her room after he finished dressing and knocked lightly, and hesitantly called out “Third-lady?” The door opened, by one of the two girl’s Yu Ziyuan had brought over, and he saw his heart skip a beat when he saw her sitting clothed in Yunmeng Jiang’s purple, her violet eyes staring at him, her lips pursed in a line.

“What is it?” she asked, annoyance clear by her expression, he hesitated yet again, perhaps he had come too early? Yesterday had been a busy banquet. “Would you like to come to the pavilion with me today?” her eyes narrowed and he thought he saw a brief anger flash on her face, was she misunderstanding his intentions?? “The flowers are quite beautiful and the weather is quite good today, tea outside seems a calming time, doesn’t it?” he added, trying to make sure his tone did not seem too hurried, except she became even more angry.

Just when he expected her to refuse, she nodded curtly, “What time?” He let out a breath he did not even realise that he was holding, “Whatever seems comfortable.” He smiled at her gently, her eyes roamed over his face once again before she looked away, knowing full well she meant for him to leave, he got up.

He was happy throughout the day and it must have shown on his face, because his right-hand man told him to leave the Sect work to him for today and ‘just go Sect Leader!”, he had prepared the afternoon snacks himself, the place polished and ready for a wonderful evening, despite that, he still could not help but anxiously look over everything as he waited for her arrival, and she arrived, wearing the same robes as she was in the morning.

He got up to extend her seat. “Good Evening, Third-Lady” She had been looking around the garden since she had entered, he thought it out of appreciation, since these were the flowers they cultivated for years, until her eyes landed on him, which held the same anger as they did earlier in the morning. He served her the tea which she held tightly in her hands, and he found himself worrying, “Is something wrong?”

He expected her to say that the tea was not up to her taste at best, he expected her to criticise the garden’s decor at worse, what he had not expected were the words that left her mouth. “So this is the garden you cultivated with that woman? And you dared to bring me, your wife, here on the first day after our marriage?” She hissed, her words crisp and cutting, he felt confusion, followed by horrified upon realisation of the implications.

“Third-Lady! What are you saying??”

“What am I saying?! Do you deny it? Do you take me for a fool? You married me once you were rejected by her, everyone knows that and you think that I will sit here calmly while being disrespected!? What do you take me for??” She yelled at him, slamming the cup down, he was truly shocked and frozen in his spot looking at her in bewilderment, had that really been what everyone was saying?

However, she took his shocked silence for agreement and got up to leave, “Third-Lady wait! It isn’t as you think, at all! Let me explain, we were friends and nothing else” He saw her pause, her back towards him so he hurried to explain.

“Changze brought her over once, to show her the garden we had cultivated since we were kids.” He paused to take a breath, “The only thing that was planted upon her suggestion were the purple lotuses-” He saw her head tilt as she looked the flowers, with a hopeful heart he thought, ‘maybe..?’ But before he could finish, Yu Ziyuan had turned around, a sneer upon her lips as she trampled upon the flowers next to her.

‘...to be the first thing you see, when you enter the garden.’

She left him staring at the trampled flowers, the tea cup tipped all over the table from when she smashed it in anger, and he sat there, processing what had happened, until a disciple knocked at the door, “Sect Leader?” The disciple peeked inside to catch his eye and stammered, “The meeting is about to begin, some urgent things came up and-” he smiled and replied “Of course, I’ll be on my way.” He sent the disciple off, grabbed a few napkins to clean up the table, and picked up the trampled flowers from the ground.

The days that followed went on without much words spoken between them, he did not dare to make the first move, because if she could misunderstand him in ways to such high extents, he was not sure what she would think if her sent over gifts, even if the thought of sending some crossed his mind, her scowling face and the violet of her eyes reminded him of that day, leading him to stay away.

He entered the garden, as months went by, the flowers that were once blooming wilted, just like everything in life had its end, some more sooner than the others, some caused by another, he thought as his eyes lingered on the place where once the purple lotus flowers stood.

--------

“She’ll love them!” Cangse Sanren had said with that confident smile of hers, giving him thumbs up with both hands covered in dirt from where she planted her side of the lotuses with Changze, who nodded as well when he looked at him. “The ones on the right are from us, the ones to left were planted by her were own future-husband.” She grinned as he could feel flush creeping up his cheeks, he cleared his throat accompanied by Changze’s fond sigh.

“She’ll probably melt, Sect Leader Jiang, down on his hands and knees in dirt, planting flowers in her-” Jiang Fengmian cut her off “Okay, enough! Enough!” he muttered, wiping his hands clean and looking at Changze, who only looked the other way as his wife cackled, the traitor. “Besides I plant flowers anyway, so does Changze, it’s not anything special like that.” He said defensively, Cangse Sanren had the audacity to roll her eyes, at Sect Leader, and his own home at that. “Sureee, Fengmian, sure.”

---------

When he began to plant new fresh seeds, it took him much longer without Changze doing the other half, now, the thought of even considering Yu Ziyuan to plant the other half seemed laughable, he had been wrong in thinking they could come to understand one another, but now what was done was done, he could not exactly with separate her just within a few months of marriage, so he took a deep breath and decided upon a peace offering.

She was the Violet Spider, with a harsh temper and equally cutting words, what would be a gift that would be to her liking? He did not need to ponder over it for long, because to his surprise, he was approached by her during the evening, when he was alone. “I want to handle the training of the disciples.” She stated more than asked, Jiang Fengmian hesitated, that was a mistake, “What? Don’t think I’m good enough to train Yunmeng Jiangs disciples? Not good enough as your-” he cut her off,

“No! That’s not what I was thinking-” the original instructor had been hand picked and carried the legacy of his forefathers, how could he alter what was passed down for generations- “Did you speak over me!? Trying to silence me, are you? With how you married me as a substitute for her? Is that not it?? Is that why you’re so hesitant?? Or perhaps is it that I’m a woman and you’re scared-” what?? “My Lady! That’s not it at all! I-”

“Then prove it, or else it's not believable at all, what other reason would you have then, to think that I am somehow inferior in your mind?” Her words dripped with poison, her eyes locking onto him, eyes of a venomous spider, he raised up his hand to massage his forehead. “Its not that simple! The instructing handlers have been passed down through generations, I cannot just change it on a whim.”

And she leaned back, smug as if she had won the argument, “Then perhaps it is not I who is lacking.” He felt cold all over, the anger he felt giving him no warmth, insulting his friends, insulting him, and now his sect. “Third-Lady, please be careful of what you speak, careless words aren’t able to be taken back easily.” Her smile remained, “Who says these are careless words? I mean every one of them, your Sect teachings haven’t produced any excelling disciple for the past years, while other Sect’s flourish, give me the reigns and I’ll show you how its done.”

Not only accepting all her words as intentional, but also implying she could do better than the Jiang Sect’s teachings over hundreds of years, he realised more and more what sort of a person he had been tied down to, would it not be better to just end the marriage? He instead looked over her smug expression and took a deep breath, “Fine, but give me time.” She nodded and left at that, a means to an end, giving her the benefit of the doubt, he did not know at the time, would turn out to be one of his worst mistakes.

It took him months but he managed to get some disciples under Yu Ziyuan, but his concerns were not simply over the teachings, if Yu Ziyuan could act the way she did with him, well with disciples? So he supervised the training lessons, but again to his surprise, other than some curt words, she did not verbally attack them the way she had attacked him, so it wasn’t her behaviour in general, just with him.

Of course he had called over one of the disciples randomly, although nervous and stuttering, the boy had answered that the training was going quite well, and with no reports or complaints in the following months, he could not do anything but let the matter drop, with this however, the matter of their distance remained as it was.

Soon he found that she relocated the aides he had, he had been angry of course, and immediately gone to her. “Where did you send Li Feng and the rest? And with what authority, you have no right-” she cut him off slamming her hands on top of the table. “With authority as your wife!? Or have you forgotten who your wife is?? So what? Can’t I move around servants here??” the anger churned his insides more so than anything else.

“Those people aren’t servants, Li Feng is my right-hand man, please refer to them respectfully.” He tried to speak as calmly as possible, she glared at him “As the Madam of this house, I can do however I want.” he pinched the bridge of his nose, looked at her, her violet eyes, and exhaled. “Every action I do is met with anger, scorn or contempt,” He began, voice devoid of previous anger, “Then perhaps we should part ways.” He finished and her expression changed.

Out went the anger from her glare, instead for the first time she looked at him with shock instead of rage, and it was the first time he heard her stutter. “F-Fengmian, you can’t…” He looked at her, much relaxed with his mind made up, “Third-Lady, we clearly aren’t meant to be, we are completely different.” He turned his back and made to leave, with his hand on the door handle, “How dare you do this to me?”

Still the same, he closed his eyes, “How dare you, when I work day and night to train your disciples, how dare you, when you agreed to marry me in the first place, if anything, it's all your fault these things happen!” She yelled and he turned to look at her in disbelief, she cried “Why did you marry me if you were going to abandon me later?? How dare you!” she grabbed the nearest object, a cup and threw it at him, but he caught it before it broke.

‘Your fault’ she said, how was it his fault with any of it?? With how she behaved- “Have I caused problems in your Sect?? Have I gone out of my way to harm your people? All I did was rearrange the schedule setting but you seem to think I have committed treason?!”

She looked at him with anger “Did you not approach me first on that day? I was fine in my own quarters but you had to approach me.” He did but it was for purpose of getting to know each other better!

“Then all I asked was to train your disciples, only to get your suspicion” She huffed angrily “Do you think think me blind? That I would not if you called them to check if I was abusing them?? What do you take me for exactly!?” She saw him staring wide-eyed and nodded “You don’t get to ask for separation when I’m one who has suffered, after I’ve worked so hard, you could make some efforts too, if you weren’t so obsessed with that woman, and hate me unreasonably for not being her, then perhaps you would know!” She left, slamming the door behind her.

Her words repeated over and over in his head, ‘your fault’, true he had approached her first that day...but..and again the thing with disciples, he felt guilt creeping up in his heart, he should have tried harder if she misunderstood him, he should have explained it better, in a few days he saw his aides once again under him, but instead of greeting him like they usually did, they looked at him as if a stranger.

“Is everything alright?” He asked, Li Feng answered “Of course, Sect Leader.” He nodded, not noticing anything odd, except over the next month, he realised they were treating him distantly, he couldn’t share with them what was on his mind, nor any of his opinions, being met with “As Sect Leader wishes.” Was Yu Ziyuan right? Was he the one lacking in communication? But he never had Changze misunderstand him...

In his state, he did not notice rumours spreading about how Jiang Fengmian did not like Yu Ziyuan because he was ‘still in love with another woman’.

Most of time was spent busy with his work, not knowing how to face her again, days became months, he would sometimes reminisce over his past times, feeling guilt weighing him down and pain in his chest, there no reason for him to feel anything out of the ordinary, until one day, when he was sitting in his room while looking down at his garden, the flowers did not bloom, he thought, and he felt a wave of coldness wash over him

Thinking how the once lively Lotus Pier turned into a place of coldness for him, his wife refused to talk to him, his aides and friends looked at him with judgement in their eyes, and then the pain increased unnaturally, until he couldn’t help but take in deep breaths helping to no avail, and then he coughed.

He coughed and coughed until he could feel his lungs bleed and he tasted metal on his tongue, until he could feel thorns scratching his throat as he choked with panic overtaking him, barely able to breath he vomited, instead of feeling his blanket get wet from what he thought was bile, he opened his eyes to be greeted by flowers, lots of carnations, stargazer lilies and purple hyacinths mixed together, covered in blood and vines.

He laughed, he had not laughed since the day he got married to Yu Ziyuan, he laughed and laughed bitterly, tears forming in his eyes, he felt so alone, he thought ‘how good would it be if I could just leave?’, at least, he thought between breaths, at least they are alright, it had been a long time since he had heard from his friends.

--------------------

A year had passed just like that, Yu Ziyuan’s angry scornful comments continued any time he so much as tried to speak to her that he gave up trying, his aides while weren’t exactly the same with him anymore, he did catch them staring at him with concern sometimes, few reassurances had them going back to work.

Hearing knocking at the door, with Yu Ziyuan’s “It’s me”, exhaustion filled him, and his heart skipped a beat with fear, of course it wasn’t that he was afraid of her, but her reaction, her words if she knew, he glanced once at the hiding place of the book and got up to open the door, tired as he did not want to face more of her tirades or whatever she wanted from him.

She walked in, eyes roaming over his room and sat on the edge of his bed, “Fengmian” she began, and he took a deep breath, she wanted to ask for something when she spoke like that, “What is it Third-Lady?” he asked, a bit resigned.

“The people have been talking.” She said a bit curtly, that phrase always sent his thoughts back to when they first talked, and since whenever she uttered it, it was almost always followed by anger, he did not like it at all.

Though reluctant, he still asked weakly “About what, Third-Lady?” she looked away. “Heirs” With that one word, he felt a surge of that unpleasant coldness forming in the pit of his stomach. “‘Heirs?’” he repeated, he had known that one day he would have to consummate their relationship, and he had foolishly avoided it being brought up, with what reason could he deny this?

“Make up your mind, people have been talking, how Fengmian has not touched his wife since her arrival.” She said, turning to look at her, the violet of her eyes made him sick, his thoughts filled with the purple hyacinths covered in blood, he felt breath come short to his lungs. “Give me time, Third-Lady.” He whispered weakly, and winced when he realised it was the wrong thing to say as her expression twisted.

“Do you hear yourself? Always ‘give me time’ whenever I ask you for something, haven’t I given you enough time to come to yourself? Always dazed nowadays!” She snapped and he flinched, “Third-Lady no! I-” She interrupted “Don’t speak over me!” She got up, and walked closer to him, prompting him to take a step back.

“You, always yearning for your beloved it it?” She sniffed and he felt his heart drop, she couldn’t possibly have known, he went alone and- “You...you had people following me??” He whispered, angered, afraid, he did not know what he was feeling, except that he wanted to be far far away from her. Were it the people he once called his aides?

“Does it matter? Who knows when you’d meet up with that wh-” He slammed his hand on the door “Third-Lady, please leave.” He said taking in deep breaths to keep the pain at bay, “Just go” He added when a look of anger overcame her yet again “Fengmian you-” he didn’t let her speak. “You want heirs? Heirs right? Let's talk about that later, out” He pointed to the door, she bit her lips but ultimately left, knowing her words wouldn’t be needed any more having accomplished what she came for.

He closed the door and tried to move to the inside of the room, where he coughed, coughed until blood poured down his mouth, blood until the purple flowers fell from his mouth, it was getting worse than before, he huffed and washed clean the blood, washed cleaned the flowers, a drawer he opened, entirely filled with violet flowers, a reminder of the fool he had been.

He sat on his knees as he stared them, despair heavy on his face, “Ah Changze, what am I supposed to do?”

So, they shared the moment of what should have been their wedding night, he left as soon as morning came, with the urge to vomit yet again at his throat, and it was not entirely due to the diseases spike, he would hope that was the one and only moment time they would ever have to take part in matrimonial duties, for her cutting words didn’t ever seem to hold back, no matter the occasion.

Months passed and confirmation came that she was with child, it was a relief to him, less about acquiring an heir and more not having to deal with the woman, except in her state she was more unbearable than ever but he couldn’t say anything, for he would be met with her rant of “You did this to me!” From her, he fulfilled her every wish, but he couldn’t think to be with her in the same room for more than a few minutes, without bile rising to his throat.

But when the day of the birth came, he sat as she held his arm, as she screamed in pain, that was the least he could do as her husband, suppressing all moments of disgust he felt upon her touch, and after hours and hours, he got to hold his daughter while her mother took rest, and his heart filled with love, his little one, she was his dearest child, Jiang Yanli.

For a few days, things seemed better, Yu Ziyuan seemed to hold back on her anger, he assumed she had been happy as well, how wrong he had been, when she came to him and spoke about betrothal with her Sworn Sister, Madam Jin of Jin Sect, and he felt disbelief coursing his veins and it was the first time he truly raised his voice at her. “No.” he said firmly, no matter how much she yelled or screamed, he refused.

He had said, “Her marriage will done with her own choice, no matter what.” he thought later that had been a mistake, because Yu Ziyuan started to arrange play-dates between Yanli and the Jin heirs son, he still refused, until Jiang Yanli herself came to him, claiming she loved the boy she saw but barely knew anything of, if she did, she would have seen the disdain the boy held for prospect of marriage, the same disdain he saw in Yu Ziyuan.

The woman came to him again, “A-Li likes him, or are you going to deny what you had said?” He wanted to argue, Yanli was barely old enough to understand but knowing Yu Ziyuan, he knew there was no way she would give up, so he agreed, hoping to break it off later in the future, when Yanli was old enough to understand, his daughter would know that there was no love lost between her and the boy.

Until her 3rd birthday, when it became more and more obvious that Yanli could not form a core, and Yu Ziyuan’s anger burned again, he tried to keep Yanli around him more than her, but when she came asking to talk to her daughter, as her mother, he could not refuse, his daughter usually looked down instead of looking at her.

One of those days, when Yu Ziyuan had come to ask, Jiang Yanli held tightly on his clothes and looked at him with her light coloured eyes, Ziyuan’s purple reminded him of poison, of those hyacinths in his lungs, and Yanli’s reminded him of those purple lotuses, that he had grown with love, he made an excuse, and the woman huffed away, “Fine, send her over later then.” He did not, “She was tired.” He said calmly, when Yu Ziyuan later yelled at him.

They had to share the bed once more when the question of heirs was brought up, and he had spent the rest of the day in his room, vomiting, sick to his stomach, both the blood and the food, for the first time since Yanli’s birth. As usual, he cleaned up without letting anyone know.

Nearing the evening, he heard a light knock at his door. “Father?” He heard, Yanli call out, he got up to open the door, and invited his little daughter in, “Father’s not well?” she questioned as she climbed up onto his lap, he patted her head lovingly. “Father is okay. A-Li does not have to worry, but he wonders what has she been doing? I saw her go to the kitchen earlier today.” He pretended to be puzzled.

“A-Li learnt how to make soup from Old Fa!” She said excitedly, holding her hands together. “But Mother says its a servant’s job, she doesn’t like it.” She wilted and he looked at her directly. “Father would love to eat a-li’s soup.” She looked at him hopefully, “I know it’d taste delicious!” She cheered up.

“I made it for father today.” She ran out and came back with a bowl filled with what was..the soup. He drank it anyway and gave a strained smile, “Could use a little less salt” He choked out, and her smile was worth it.

Weeks passed peacefully, he was with Yanli in the kitchen, watching as Old Fa taught her how to knead, cooking was one of the few things that brought a smile to her face, seeing her so excited, he relaxed as well, until Yu Ziyuan joined them, he hadn’t expected her to, given her mindset of it being a servants job, “A-Li you’re doing it wrong.” She said after watching her for a moment, in the same tone of voice as she used when training disciples.

“A-Xuan won’t like it if all you can do is cook, come with me to the training grounds.” She said, he cut her off “A-Li doesn’t have to do everything for him.” And Yu Ziyuan turned to him “If you want her to do a servant job then that's on you, she’s my daughter too, and as the daughter of Violet Spider, she should be able to fight! Not partaking in these weak acts-” He cut her off “Third Lady! Control your words!”

Before he could say more, soft sniffles cut him off, he looked at his daughter, her hands still inside the dough, tears she was trying to wipe on her shoulder, “Third-Lady is not allowed in the kitchen anymore.” He said and watched Old Fa escort her out, not before Yu Ziyuan shouted, “You cannot keep me from training my daughter!” She yelled as if he had ordered her banishment instead.

“No one is keeping you, if you have nothing good to say to a-li, it's better if you stay away from her, Third-Lady, take the day to cool off” He nodded towards the door, “Fine! If you want your daughter to be a weak-” he cut her off “Third-Lady! Leave.” She threw one last look at them and left fuming.

He knelt next to his daughter, pulled her into a hug. “A-Li is sorry Father!” She sobbed, and rubbed her back “A-Li doesn’t have to be sorry, a-li’s mother should be saying sorry.”

“Mother says father doesn’t like a-li” She said after calming down a bit “Because a-li looks like her mother-” he pulled back to look at her in the eye and enunciated his every word, “A-Li is not her mother, a-li is my beloved daughter, and I love everything a-li does” He told her comfortingly.

“A-Li is not weak, a-li is peaceful, there is strength in nurturing and kindness.” Yanli finally seemed to calm down, hiccuping but not sobbing anymore, he wiped her tears away and smiled “Father loves a-li a lot.” he said as he kissed the top of her head.

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And then the day came when Yanli’s little sibling came into the world, accompanied by just as much of screaming, but less hours lost, Yanli cooed over her little brother, a tiny little thing in her mother’s arms, she reached out and lightly pressed his cheek, “So small.” Her father chuckled and said “A-Li was also this small when she was born.” Yu Ziyuan showed a rare smile as well, “His name will be Jiang Cheng.” She said.

Things went a bit smoothly after that, even though Ziyuan was the same as always Yanli his beloved daughter was eight years old, and his son, Jiang Cheng was four, his core formed well and he thought Yu Ziyuan had been happy, so he had not expected when she was walked into his room and started yelling,

“Why are you ostracising your son!? Yanli’s going to be married into Jin Sect and yet you spend time coddling her! And you don’t spend the same amount of time with your son?”

He really hadn’t expected her random onslaught, nor where she was coming from, his son was working hard, and he had overlooked his training personally, teaching him the Jiang teachings along with Yu Ziyuan’s own training. “Oh is it because I’m his mother? Because you cannot handle seeing your own son when you want to see a son with her-” Where was she coming from, he felt horrified, “Third-Lady! What’re you saying!?”

The door swung open and their son, Jiang Cheng stood shocked, scared at being caught and tears in his eyes, before he ran away. He turned to her disgust forming heavy, before leaving her where she stood spluttering how she didn’t mean for him to hear her.

He found his son sobbing as Yanli comforted him in his room. “Mother doesn’t mean it.” Yanli told him as she rubbed his back, “She loves you.” He only sobbed louder, “But she’s right, Father likes you more because he hates me. He likes that boy more-” Yanli looked as if she didn’t know what to say, and Fengmian felt confused, who were they talking about?

“No, I absolutely, do not.” He said and his children froze and turned to him, “You do! Why do you make me work more than everyone else!?” His son got up, and lightly started punching him from where he reached his knees while he sobbed, Jiang Fengmian, placed a hand on his shoulder, suppressing the pain in his heart and lungs.

“Because A-Cheng is going to be the Sect Leader, A-Cheng needs to be strong.” He said evenly as his son shook his head. “That’s not what you said to Jie!” and ran to his bed, “A-Cheng listen-” His son turned to look at him with anger “If you did then you wouldn’t have that disease!”

Jiang Fengmian stared at him, too shocked to feel anything. How? Or Why? Did she tell them that?! How did she even- his thoughts cut off as he thought back, if she could send people tailing him, what couldn’t she do?

He looked at his daughter who avoided his gaze, “A-Li?” she answered silently “Mother said Father would replace him for-” She frowned, trying to remember a name, “‘Wei Ying’, the son of your-” She sneaked a peak at him “Your ‘beloved’.” And looked away, as if feeling guilt.

“A-Li, no, I love you both, how can she-” Yanli nodded, “I know that you love us, but A-Cheng thinks Father doesn’t like him because of Mother…” she hesitated. “And that you regret it wasn’t someone else, instead.”

He regretted, he regretted letting his children near Yu Ziyuan’s poisonous words, but the only regret was Yu Ziyuan, not his love for his children, it was not something he would ever regret, he didn’t even know Wei Changze had a son.

“A-Li” He began gently, knowing A-Cheng was listening when his shaking under the blanket stopped, “They were my friends, like you and-” He thought for a second, “-like you and A-Cheng, we grew up together but they were my friends, and you’re my children, I love you both.” He kissed the top of her head and her shoulders dropped in what could only be relief, and reached up to pat Jiang Cheng’s head under the blanket, and left them for a moment.

He knocked on Yu Ziyuan’s door, only to find it open and empty, he walked inside and opened the cabinets and drawers until he found what he was looking for, for her to know she must have- and there they were.

Pages over pages, written in a familiar writing, ranging from containing details of travels, requesting permission to visit, to mentions of ‘Wei Ying’s’ birth, he felt tears form in his own eyes, with his heart filled with overwhelming pain and indignation, he now understood her random bursts, they were each time a letter was received, over jealousy-

Before he could go out and confront her, the pain in his lungs became unbearable, he choked and coughed, no matter how much he tried to restrain it, he coughed until he collapsed to his knees, why now? His body heated up feeling thorns tear at this lungs and throat.

He could barely breath as he vomited, vision fading from the corner of his eyes, he was confused until he caught a look of the flowers he coughed, pure black roses mixed with the hyacinths, the rose thorns dripping with blood, no sign of lilies and carnations, his heart and soul filled with agony and he cried, and then he knew nothing more.

When he woke up, he felt nothing, he knew he hated Yu Ziyuan, but he felt nothing but blank emptiness, when he stared at the woman standing at the door, his children on either side of his bed. “Oh good, that you’re awake.” She hissed as if he was an inconvenience and he found no rage, and he nodded calmly instead.

He knew his friends had passed but he did not, could not feel grief, he knew he loved his children, so he reached out with both his hands, patting them as they muttered apologies while sobbing. “It wasn’t your fault, father was a bit sad, and was already sick, but he’s well now.” He said gently, and once the children left, he looked at the woman who was his wife and said “I’ll bring A-Ying back.”

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Authors note

Jfm knew he cared for Wei Ying, yet he felt nothing.

He knew he loved his children, he felt nothing,

He knew he hated his wife, yet he felt, nothing.

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So yesterday i was looking through @angstymdzsthoughts and came across platonic hanahaki and thought hey sounds angsty, and thought ‘hey what if jfm had platonic hanahaki for cangse sanren and wei changze?’ i deliberately tried to keep it ambiguous which one he was in love with XD Madam Yu kept assuming and he didn’t give a fuk about correcting her, also like i couldnt bring myself to even write them spending the night together idk y, took a lot of effort lol. Started out with thinking hanaki, got more of JFM’s descent to feeling nothing oof.

Also like it turned out more focus on the fact that even before wwx was brought to lp, there would still be yzy biching and making everyone miserable so-

#mdzs #jiang fengmian #yu ziyuan #jiang cheng #jiang yanli #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #platonic hanahaki #wei wuxian #worked on typos yet again #wei changze #cangse sanren #my writing #prompted by angstymdzsthoughts post

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