#i would let reid talk my ear off his voice is a blessing

[hewhomustdie]

me: i watch criminal minds for the plot

the plot:

#criminal minds #derek morgan #aaron hotchner #spencer reid #morgan #hotch #reid #morgan criminal minds #reid criminal minds #hotch criminal minds #they are so hot #i literally only started watching the show because of morgan #smart men are so hot #i would let reid talk my ear off his voice is a blessing #dilf hotch #im so gay

[mercy-burning]

Roommate Agreement

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader x Luke Alvez Summary: After about a year of living with Spencer, Y/N gets excited when he introduces her to a new potential roommate. Category: SMUT (18+) Content: Free use, threesome, cum play, penetrative/unprotected sex, creampie, oral sex (male receiving), rough sex, dirty talk Word Count: 2.3k

MASTERLIST

NOTE: I was gonna write this as a blurb, but it got a little longer than I anticipated lol. I’ve been super into this kink/fantasy lately, so uh.. this was just pure indulgence 🥰✌

———

Apartment hunting and living on my own sucked, which is why Spencer Reid coming into my life was the biggest blessing I ever could have hoped for. He was handsome, kind, welcoming... And he let me live with him for free.

Well, not entirely.

But regardless of our little agreement, I still slip him some cash when rent comes up because it's just common courtesy. I'm grateful that he lets me stay with him and provides me with what I need (and then some), and if there's any way for me to return that favor, I'll do it.

He gets annoyed with me whenever I do it, but I always know how to get him to forget about it...

Just thinking about last night brings a smile to my face as I put away the last few glasses in their respective cupboards.

The heavy padding of Spencer's feet behind me makes me turn around then, and I nearly clench my legs at the sight of him, dressed and ready for work, except his dick is out and hefty in his right hand. It's hard, leaking, and by the look on his face I can tell he's about ready to let go.

"Give me your panties, sweetheart."

Before he even gets out the whole sentence, I make quick work of lifting my shirt out of the way and opening up the fabric, pulling it away from my body and giving him an opening. He walks up with a hungry kiss to my jaw as he jerks himself off, right into my panties until he's making a mess of them. I sigh out happily as he hums against my skin.

And when he's done, he kisses my cheek chastely and uses my shirt to clean up a bit before tucking himself back neatly into his pants. I adjust my panties and feel the warmth spread over my skin while he grabs his bag from the back of the chair to leave.

"Have a good day, Doctor," I call with a cute smile, my hand dipping down to feel the mess he made and wishing he didn't have to go.

"You too, sweetheart," he returns with a wink. He turns to leave, but before he's at the door, he throws back, "Oh, and make sure you're dressed properly when I get back, he's coming over with me after work."

"Wait, really?" I ask brightly, my heart starting to race.

"Mhm. He's excited to meet you."

I’d had plans to run some errands today, but as soon as he tells me the good news, I know I won't be able to get anything done.

———

The second I hear the door, I'm waiting like a dog with a wagging tail, excited for extra company and eager to make a new friend. I flatten my tiny skirt, though with how frilly it is, it really makes no difference— I think that as excited as I am, I'm definitely anxious about potentially adding a new person to our dynamic.

My hands reach behind my back and clasp together as I rock slowly on my feet, ready to welcome them when they come through the door.

Spencer, as always, looks positively delicious, and it only amplifies when he sees me and smiles, reaching out for me. "Somebody's excited..."

In his embrace, I laugh and welcome his hand as it slips up the front of my skirt to make sure I've followed his instructions. He quickly runs his middle finger through my opening, a smile forming on his lips— I can feel it against my neck. "Good girl."

"I couldn't help it," I tell him earnestly, refraining from whining in protest when he removes himself from me entirely. Then I look over his shoulder to see our guest of honor, Spencer's co-worker Luke Alvez. With a shy smile, I reach my hand out to shake his. "I have a new guest to impress."

Luke accepts my hand with a smile all his own, accompanied by wandering eyes that make me feel warm from head-to-toe. It reminds me of how I felt when I first met Spencer while apartment hunting last year. Luke's eyes are just a few shades darker but regardless of color, the hunger swimming within them remains plentiful.

"Nice to meet you, Y/N," he says smoothly. His voice makes me feel a whole new sense of ease and the overwhelming need to submit to him entirely. "I've heard great things."

With introductions out of the way, Spencer ushers Luke into the apartment and I close the door. "Let me show you around a bit," he says, and the two walk off, leaving me to follow behind.

We tour the whole apartment, Spencer taking his sweet time with the walking and the talking... I swear he's doing it on purpose, to make me wait and get me riled up, but regardless I stay patient and involve myself in their conversations as normal. Actually, it would have all felt like a completely normal apartment tour in the first place, had I not been thinking about how the men accompanying me would use me in the future...

Spencer saves the living room for last, and once we make it to the couch, I pray that he's ready to start showing Luke the added benefit of choosing to live here rather than in an apartment by himself...

And he knows me so well, because he pulls me aside with a cheeky smile, his hand resting firmly on my ass and under my skirt. "So, Alvez, you wanna give her a whirl?"

"You're uh... You're sure this is alright? You don't mind?"

His concern is sweet, but I can see the lust sparkling in his eyes as he looks over me once more.

Spencer laughs a bit, squeezing my ass with a nod. "Of course. Look how happy she is to see you... So ready to be used up..."

Luke's tongue darts out over his bottom lip at my roommate's words, his decision becoming more clear.

Still, I help out. "It's true... When Spencer first mentioned adding a new roommate to our arrangement, I couldn't wait... And you're perfect.

"So what do you say?" Spencer asks once more with finality.

Luke strides over to me slowly, my head tilting higher with each inch he gets closer. He looks down at my lips and smiles before bringing his thumb gently to my mouth. "This pretty little mouth has been calling to me since I walked through the door..."

I hear Spencer laugh beside me as Luke slips his thumb past my lips and over my tongue. I suck it into my mouth with a tiny groan, flitting my eyes up at him and arching my back as Spencer's grip on my ass gets tighter.

"Get on the couch, sweetheart," he says, letting go and giving me a small spank.

Luke's thumb pops out of my mouth and I stumble to the couch, getting on all fours so my hands are on the arm and my knees are buried in one of the cushions.

The unmistakable sound of their laughing fills my ears and makes me even more eager, though I know better than to tell them outright what I want. Unless either of them asks me to, I'm not going to beg. I mean, I'm not sure about Luke, but I know that Spencer prefers when I use visual signs in our daily routine. He likes to hear me use my words, sure, but that's only on occasions where he's in a happier, more giving mood. Most of the fucking we do is when he comes home frustrated and needs to take. No questions asked.

And truthfully, I like that more. Which is why I'd agreed to be his roommate in the end.

Spencer does seem to be more giving today, moving this right along and taking his pants off before walking over to me while his friend follows suit, but I follow our rules anyway, wanting to make a good impression on Luke (though I'm positive I've already secured that bag).

Luke's pants come off too, though he waits until he's right in front of my face. I'm looking up at him with my bottom lip between my teeth, and when he starts to work at his belt, I look down to see.

Meanwhile I feel Spencer's weight dip down behind me, and it doesn't take long for him to slide right in, spreading my legs further and beginning to fuck me steadily. He gathers my hair from my face and into a makeshift ponytail with one hand while the other rests at my hip. "You gonna be a big girl and open your mouth wide, or do I have to make you?"

I respond in kind by slacking my jaw and welcoming Luke, his hands coming down to tilt my chin and slide his thick, hard dick into my mouth.

"That's right, sweetheart," Spencer praises, giving me another small spank and a slight tug of the hair. Meanwhile Luke is slowly fucking my throat, pushing himself deeper with each thrust.

Eventually, the two of them are fucking me with perfect rhythm. Each time Spencer goes in, Luke goes out, and their force is even the same. It's building and building with each second, and I can feel my whole body start to go numb with pleasure. My knees are tingling from the couch, my ass is surely red from how many times Spencer has spanked me, and my throat is bruising beautifully.

Spencer's hand releases my ass and reaches out to my throat. The way he's bending forward gives him a deeper angle inside me, and I can't help the choked whimper that comes out of my mouth because of it. He can feel it, too, because his fingers rest just under my chin.

"His cock feels so good down your throat, doesn't it, baby?" he coos, driving into me harder.

I squeeze my eyes shut for a few seconds to blink away the tears that blur my vision, and when I open them I look up at Luke, pure unadulterated bliss painting his features. He looks down at me with awe and lust and need, and I can tell that it won't be long before he snaps.

"When he comes, you're gonna keep it in, okay? I wanna see it..."

I clench around Spencer at his words, and my orgasm follows shortly after. As soon as I start to come down, Luke holds himself still at the back of my throat and comes with a shout, his hands rooting in my hair. I try my hardest to keep it all in, meanwhile Spencer starts to stutter as well. And by the time Luke is pulling himself away from me, his friend is coming inside me, just like he's done so many times before.

It's a familiar, wonderful feeling, though this time it's even better because I know I have cum filling both ends of me. I feel so full, so warm and numb and fucked out, and I never want to go a single day without it that way.

When Spencer pulls out and leaves the couch, Luke makes room for him in front of me. He steps into view then, reaching his hand out to pry my mouth open and examine his friend's work.

"Oh, sweetheart, you look so pretty with all Luke's cum in your mouth... Doesn't she look pretty, Alvez?"

The other man muses, his hand coming down to graze my cheek. Both their hands are on either side of my face, and they're gazing down at me with such wonderment that I swear I'll do anything to feel this way again— to make them feel this way again.

"She sure does," Luke says, and I nuzzle into his hand. "Just like a proper cumdump."

Their words and their eyes and their touches send butterflies soaring through my whole body and bring an open-mouthed smile to my face.

"You can swallow now," Spencer says, tapping my cheek. I do, and immediately afterwards he leans down to kiss me deeply. I lean into him and flutter my eyes closed, the feeling of his cum dripping out of me and down my leg only adding to the blissful state I'm in.

He pulls away, and I glance over at Luke, who has his dick in his hand and an amused smile on his face. "Damn, I could almost go again..."

I can tell he only means it as a way to keep the mood light, maybe as a joke, but in hopes that it will make him more comfortable with the idea that he can quite literally use me whenever he wants to, I smile as sincerely as I can. "That's what I'm here for," I offer brightly, getting up off the couch and trying to stand on wobbling legs.

I somehow manage, Spencer helps to steady me, and then he laughs, kissing me on the cheek. "You two have fun. I'm gonna shower, and then I have to take care of some errands. That okay with you?"

Luke and I give our approval, Spencer kisses me once more, and then admires me for a few seconds before throwing his friend a wink and heading off to the shower.

The moment I'm alone with Luke Alvez, he takes my hand and gives it a kiss. "You really are something special, princess..."

The nickname, while not entirely new since Spencer had mumbled it a few times with my mouth wrapped around his dick, sounds absolutely delightful coming from Luke's lips.

"Thank you," I purr, leading him to the couch and pulling him on top of me. "But there's still so much for you to discover..."

He hums amusedly, tracing my mouth with his thumb again. This time I take it gently between my teeth before he slips his cock inside me, which inadvertently makes me let go of it in favor of a whimper.

"Well, then I guess it's a good thing I'm moving in..."

———

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#spencer reid x reader #ralvez x reader #spencer reid x reader x luke alvez #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid smut #luke alvez smut #luke alvez fanfiction #luke alvez x reader #spencer reid x reader smut #luke alvez x reader smut #ralvez x reader smut #criminal minds #criminal minds smut #criminal minds fanfiction #luke alvez #spencer reid

[dreamwritesimagines]

Twisted 26 - Blood On My Name [Spencer Reid x Reader]

A.N.: Thank you so much for your wonderful support my loves! Here’s the next chapter, I hope you will like it as well, and please let me know what you think of it! ❤❤ Ily, kisses! ❤❤❤

Series Masterlist

Warnings: Murder, serial killers, violence, manipulation, mentions of sex, drinking, smoking, guns.

Word Count: 3000

Summary: No one can run away forever.

There were some days when you just knew it wouldn’t be easy for you, and today was one of them, that was for sure. It was as if after seeing how Spencer had managed to charm your family the other night and how everything was going well in your relationship, the universe had decided to throw in some difficulties to make it interesting.

For starters, you had forgotten to buy coffee the day before so you couldn’t even have your much needed caffeine. After managing to get rid of the sleepiness with a very cold shower and getting ready, you left your apartment to get to your car, and that was when the second problem hit.

It wouldn’t start no matter how much you tried, so you had to take a taxi to your office.

And as if all that wasn’t enough, Spencer had decided to call you with some bad news as well.

“You can’t be serious,” you whined, pressing the phone to your ear as you paced in your office, “Spencer, please tell me you’re not leaving me alone at a party I didn’t even want to go to in the first place!”

“Trust me, I don’t want to.”

“You have a case,” you felt the need to repeat, “Today of all days.”

“We’re flying there in ten.”

You heaved a sigh and plopped down to the couch, nibbling your lip.

“I’m really sorry,” he said softly, “I swear I’d be there if I could.”

You sook your head, “No, don’t be sorry,” you murmured, “I get that. It’s your job. Besides, it’s probably a life or death situation if they called you guys there.”

He hummed in agreement, “Probably,” he said “But are you going to be alright?”

“I mean I’ll probably drink a lot,” you tried to joke, “And miss you for the whole night.”

“I’ll miss you too,” he confessed, “They’re sending some agents to make sure the copycat doesn’t try anything at that party if they even show up, but… Just promise me you’ll be careful.”

“When am I not careful?”

He scoffed a laugh, “Do you want a list? Because I think it’d be a long list.”

“I’m always careful!” you protested, “Also, given our occupations it’s kind of ironic to hear this from you, I’ll have you know.”

You could almost hear his smile, “Just promise me.”

“I’ll be very careful,” you said, “Cross my heart. Besides, it’s Nolan’s company, professor. No one can walk there with any weapon, it’s a security company remember? Even I am leaving my knife at home.”

“Just don’t go anywhere alone, be in the crowd for the whole time—”

“Make sure to stay where security cameras can see me, I know.” You finished his sentence for him, “It’s not my first rodeo. Relax boyfriend, it’s just one boring party. What could possibly go wrong?”

“Don’t say that,” he warned you, “Bad things happen when people say that.”

“I didn’t take you for a superstitious type, professor.”

“I’m not,” he said, “I just don’t want to take any chances. It’s already bad enough that I won’t be there.”

“You’re telling me,” you said, “I was hoping we could hook up somewhere in there, it’s a huge building.”

You heard his chuckle, “You’re incorrigible.”

“Well it’s always Mina and Kenzie who have fun in these things, for once I want to have fun too!” you defended yourself, “Besides, don’t pretend like you don’t like it.”

“Hey, I said nothing of the sort.”

“Reid, come on.” You heard Luke’s voice and Spencer sighed.

“I should go,” he told you, “I love you.”

A smile warmed your face, “I love you too,” you said, “Go save some lives.”

You hung up, then ran a hand over your face, slumping on the couch.

“Y/N?” your assistant knocked on the glass door of your office before peeking her head in, “Hi, are you busy?”

“Not really,” you sat up straighter, “What’s up?”

“You wanted me to remind you when it’s time for lunch,” she said, “Also I sent your dress for tonight to your place, the front desk will get it.”

“Thanks,” you checked the time and stood up to walk to your desk, “Damn it, I’m going to be late.”

“I also called the mechanics, but they said it would take two days for it to be fixed.”

“Today just gets better and better,” you muttered and she tilted her head,

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Hm?” you looked up, “Yeah, sorry. I’m fine, it’s just one of those days. Since the morning everything is going bad, and I was hoping my boyfriend would be with me at this party, but he had something to do so…”

“Maybe he can change his mind?” she suggested, “See, I had this boyfriend once, and he said he wouldn’t show up to my birthday party because we had this huge fight, but then he showed up anyway.”

“Oh it’s not like that,” you shook your head, “There’s no fight, he’s just not gonna be in the city tonight.”

She scrunched up her nose, “That sucks.”

You scoffed a laugh and grabbed your coat and your purse, “It’s fine. Where are we on the Riley wedding flower arrangement by the way?”

“All confirmed, she says she loved it,” she said and you smiled.

“Thanks,” you said as you walked to the elevator with her following you, “I’ll be back in an hour, okay? Have a nice lunch.”  

                                                        ***

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Lincoln said as you sipped your rosé, looking around the restaurant you two were having lunch in, “How did you even break down your car?”

“I didn’t do anything!”

“When was the last time you took it to a mechanic to get it checked out?”

“When I bought it?” you said and he let out a chuckle.

“So you have no car for tonight?”

You pulled your brows together, “Tonight? How did you-?”

“You know we run in the same social circle right?” he said, “My dad’s company also does business with Nolan, of course I’m invited. That being said, I wasn’t sure if I would show up, but since here you are, begging me to help you—“

“I’m just eating my food here.”

“I can drive you there,” he finished his sentence as if you didn’t interrupt him and you tilted your head.

“I can just take a cab,” you said, “Or mom could send a car, it’s fine. You don’t have to.”

“Consider it my thanks for your unrequited advices on my relationship.”

“Oh you need more advice?” you perked up and he rolled his eyes.

“No.”

“You made up with your girlfriend then?”

“It’s complicated.”

“You really need to go to Italy for a surprise visit,” you pointed at him with your fork “That’d be incredibly romantic.”

“Is that right, love doctor?”

Your jaw dropped, “Come on, when have I ever failed you with my advice?” you asked, “If you love this girl, you need to show her that.”

“I’m just gonna play it cool.”

“That’s a terrible idea!” you said, “I know you’re not the romantic type, but you need to at least make an effort!”

He shot you a look “I’m a romantic.”

“Bullshit,” you let out a laugh, “You might be the most emotionally distant person I’ve seen after me, and you’re telling me you’re—“

“I believe that some people are meant to be,” he cut you off, “No matter the circumstances. Consequences be damned, anyone who thinks otherwise doesn’t deserve to be in love. I think if you’re in love, you should adore that person every day, and be there for them for better or worse. Whatever sacrifice it takes.”

You blinked a couple of times, shock coming over you, “Linc…”

“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for the woman I love,” he told you, “Trust me. Nothing at all.”

You just gawked at him for a few seconds before you put your fork down.

“I stand corrected,” you muttered, and he grinned at you.

“Yeah, how does it feel to be wrong?”

“Oh shut up,” you said and stabbed your salad once more, ignoring his laugh.

By the time your lunch with Lincoln was over and you got back to your office, your fingers were itching to text Spencer. Reminding yourself that he was probably busy, you managed to suppress the urge and waited for the elevator doors to open.

Erica was already waiting for you by the door and you let out a whine.

“Don’t tell me,” you said, “You have bad news because today has a grudge with me.”

“I mean it’s not bad, but I figured you’d want to know.”

“Give me some good news, like you saw a puppy today or they named a whiskey after me or—“

“Your mother is waiting for you in your office.”

“I said good news, Erica.” you reminded her and made your way to your office before you opened the glass door to step inside. Your mother looked over her shoulder, sitting up straighter on the couch.

“Hi honey.”

“Hi mom,” you walked to peck her on the cheek, “What’s up? To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I need help,” she said and you hung your coat, placed your purse on the coffee table, motioning at one of the interns for coffee before you leaned back to the table.

“Sure thing, what is it?”

“How do my nails look?” she held up her hand and you pulled your brows together.

“That’s what you need help with?” you asked “You do realize that this is why we have phones?”

“No, I wanted to talk face to face for my next question.”

“Ah, I won’t like that question will I?” you hissed in a breath, “Your nails are fine by the way.”

“It’s just that, I don’t know when Nolan will propose so I booked my nail artist for a month.”

“I want to have your problems,” you muttered as your phone buzzed and you checked the screen, then touched the text message.

From: Spencer

The power of Love borne in my lady's eyes

imparts its grace to all she looks upon.

You couldn’t help the wide smile pulling at your lips as you skimmed Dante’s lines, then thought for a moment and typed in:

See that you bless the day that I took you captive; it is your duty to do so.

“Y/N!”

You lifted your head, “Hm?”

“Are you listening to me?”

“Yeah, sorry,” you lowered the phone as the intern brought you two cups of coffee. You thanked her, then turned to your mother, “It’s just… Spencer is out of the city again, that’s why— never mind. What did you want to ask me?”

“I think I have an idea about Nolan’s proposal and this…potential marriage.”

You cleared your throat, “Uh, sorry. My client list is full.”

“Nobody buys that excuse honey.”

“I mean can you blame me?” you asked, “You would be the worst bride I’ve ever had to deal with, no offense.”

“First of all, I’ll just have a cocktail, not a wedding,” she said, “It would be inappropriate to have a wedding, considering our ages.”

“Mom!” you protested, “That’s not a thing! Anyone can have a wedding, fuck what society thinks.”

“Very delicately put, but I’ve made up my mind,” she said, “That’s not what I came here for. I decided, I want to be with Nolan and spend the rest of my life with him. So I will say yes when he proposes.”

“A surprise to no one,” you grinned and she shot you a look.

“But considering what people would think, I feel like I need to make a schedule. Do you happen to know when Spencer will propose?”

The coffee you were drinking went down the wrong tube and you started coughing, but your mother sipped her own coffee, patiently waiting for you to stop.

“Say- say what now?” you asked and she shrugged her shoulders.

“Yes, I was thinking I could stay engaged to Nolan until after your future wedding.”

“Mom we’re not— I’m—“ you stammered, “That’s not happening.”

She tilted her head, “Oh don’t be nonsense, you’re in love. Very obvious to anyone who has eyes, he couldn’t stop looking at you throughout dinner the other night.”

“Yeah but….” you cleared your throat, “I don’t think he’s planning anything like that.”

“Well—“

“I’m not going to ask him if he’s planning anything like that,” you cut her off, “I don’t live in Victorian ages, neither do you. I told you, you can get married to the eccentric billionaire puppy with a bowtie whenever you want.”

She rolled her eyes at you. “Unbelievable.”

“Right back at you lady.”

“If Nolan lets you know about when, you will tell me okay?”

“I doubt he’ll let me know, he looks like he’s got it covered.”

“And you’re still planning my cocktail party when the time comes.”

“Mom, no!” you let out a whine, throwing your head back, “Please don’t do that to me. I’m your daughter, you’re supposed to love me!”

“I do love you, that’s why I don’t trust anyone else with my wedding except for you.”

“Don’t trust me,” you said, “I’m begging you not to trust me. Planning Mina’s wedding was bad enough, you’re even a bigger control freak than she is—“

“Y/N.”

“I say that respectfully!”

She put her cup of coffee on the glass table, then stood up.

“Just remember, I absolutely hate carnation flowers and polyester gives me a rash.”

“Why does God hate me?” you wondered out loud and she kissed you on the cheek.

“I’ll see you tonight honey,” she said and walked out of your office, ignoring your overly dramatic whining. You buried your face into your palms, letting out a groan.

“I really should’ve drunk something heavier than rosé.”

                                                         ***

You had picked this dress thinking Spencer would like it, and now that he wouldn’t be there with you, you were two seconds away from changing it. You heaved a sigh, looking in the mirror before you fixed the tulle floor length skirt of the pale pink dress and pulled at the long sleeves adorned with lace. The small screen by the door lit up as it started ringing and you walked there to touch it, then told the doorman that he could send Lincoln upstairs when he told you he was there.  

Soon enough, the doorbell rang and you opened it.

“Hey,” you said, grinning when he did a double take and blinked a couple of times.

“Wow.”

“Bad wow?”

“Good wow.”

“Why thanks Linc, you clean up well too. Come in!” you stepped aside so that he could enter the apartment and he looked around as you closed the door.

“Nice place.”

“Thanks,” you said and checked the time before you went to the kitchen island. “You’re early.”

“And you started early,” he nodded at the wine glass on the kitchen island, making you shrug.

“I just have one e-mail to check for confirmation, then we can go.”

“No rush,” he said, leaning back to the wall as you looked at the photos of the wedding venue for your newest client, swirling the wine in your glass.

“You want some?”

“Nah, not yet,” he said, “Work stuff?”

“Mm hm,” you mumbled, “She describes the venue she wants as boho-glam so it’s going to be pretty tough for me to find a lot of options.”

“Your job is definitely more fun than mine.”

“My job is harder than yours,” you pointed at him and he scoffed.

“How is that?”

“Have you ever dealt with an angry bride?” you asked him, “You wouldn’t last a goddamn second. Just the other day, one of them tried to make me give her a list of her wedding dress options too, the one thing I’m not responsible from.”

“I mean can you blame her?” Lincoln asked, “You obviously have a good taste, look at yourself.”

“Aw thanks Linc,” you hit send, and closed down the laptop lid before you reached for your wine glass to take a sip, taking a step towards the coffee table.

“Yeah I’ll almost feel sorry for Spencer for missing it.”

It took you a second. For a second, it was all good and then you stopped dead on your tracks, a shudder running down your spine as your brain comprehended what he just told you. You could feel the goosebumps rising on your arms as you put the glass down, your back still turned to him.

“I never told you I was dating Spencer,” you managed to mumble through frozen lips and he chuckled.

“No you didn’t,” he said, “Erica told me. Family dinner with Spencer, it was on your schedule the other night.”

Your thoughts were like a tornado in your head as your heart started slamming against your ribcage and you turned to him, your eyes finding potential weapons you could use all around the room instantly and he tilted his head.

“So I know that there are about fifty things in this room you can attack me with,” he said, “But just so you know, if you try anything, your niece goes down. You don’t want your precious Lily to have an accident, do you? Because I don’t either.”

That red haze clouded your vision for a moment as your jaw clenched.

“I’m going to kill you,” your voice didn’t even sound like it belonged to you anymore, it was way too cold, way too calm, the shock leaving its place to fury roaring through your veins. A manic smile pulled at Lincoln’s lips and that dangerous gleam which you had seen multiple times in your father’s eyes appeared in his eyes as well before he took a step towards you.

“I missed your fire,” he said as if he was in awe, “So much. It’s been a torture to keep my distance from you. But honestly, Petal,” he tut-tutted, then reached behind him and pulled out his gun to point it at you.

“You should’ve known better.”

Chapter 27 

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid imagines #twisted #spencer #reid

[boldlyvoid]

Amoreena | chapter eleven

chapter eleven

main summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Chapter Warnings: Y/N POV: details of what happened to Stephen, her grandmas cancer, and very detailed explanations of how babies are made (as biologically accurate and not very graphic as possible) this is an angsty trauma filled chapter that made me cry a lot just writing it so I'm sorry in advance

word count: 3K

from the beginning <3

June 13th, 2010

There’s a knock on her parent's door at 4 in the morning, Y/N’s sound asleep on the couch back at her grandma’s, awoken by said grandmother as she hears all the noise beyond the porch. There are 2 cop cars at the main house, worry starts to settle over them.

She puts on a pair of shoes, taking her grandmother's hand in hers as they begin the early morning trek up the road, anxiety seeping in deeper and deeper as they get closer to the lights illuminating their driveway.

Her father is talking to an officer on the steps, her mother is crying behind him. “We’re so sorry for your loss,” the officer says and Y/N’s blood runs cold, numbing her from the impending despair.

“What happened?” Her grandmother asks, rubbing a hand along Y/N’s back in preparation for the worst.

“Evan was in a car accident,” her father says softly, knowing that Y/N knows Stephen was with him tonight. She breaks away from her grandma and without thinking she’s right in the officer's face.

“Which one of them died?”

“Ma’am,” it was never a good way to start the worst conversation of her life with that word or in that tone. She felt like a '40s housewife learning her husband wasn’t coming home from the war, only he wasn’t even her husband yet.

He would have been on next Saturday.

“I’m sorry, Stephen was pronounced dead on the scene,” he says the worst sentence she’s ever heard, and now she’ll never forget it. “The passenger side took the worst of it, once again, I am so sorry for your loss.”

She’s surprisingly calm, managing to whisper, “thank you,” before she’s walking off into the field, pushing everyone's hands away as she travels as far as he feet will take her.

She ends up at the willow tree by the pond as soon as the sun is rising, it happened a lot earlier in June than the rest of the year. The birds singing, the wind blowing against the leaves making them carry a tune in harmony together. The world is still spinning, life is moving on, but how?

She sat there against the tree for a while, picking blades of grass and weaving them into a chain, soothing her brain as she makes a pattern. Giving her hands something to do so they stop going numb, it’s the only thing that really reminds her that she's real, that she’s controlling the twists and tucks, the shape and length and the fact that it was created at all.

Ending the life of the single blade of grass as she picks it, never to be whole again. Snatched from its happy place, where it grew loved and surrounded by other matching green strands as they blew in the wind.

Then she's pulling fist full after fist full of grass out of the dirt, her hands covered in mud as she shouts, throwing handfuls of grass and dirt towards the pond. The once blue water starting to turn cloudy; disrupted and upset with her anger as it swallows her weapons, but it doesn’t make her feel better. All she did was disrupt the earth, changing the way this once beautiful patch of land used to look. She couldn’t help but sob, realizing that she was like this field now and her beautiful green pasture was disrupted, overturned and ruined.

The life that flowed through her died along with the love of her life.

“Stephen was pronounced dead on the scene,” the words echo in her mind in a constant circle like she’s stuck in a tin can.

It starts to reverberate, getting louder and louder as the same 7 words all run around in her head. Bouncing off the walls, smacking her down again and again as she hears them over and over and over… she’s holding her hands on her ears, shaking back and forth, sobbing when she feels someone wrap their arms around her.

She doesn’t open her eyes, instead, she's rushing to push them off of her, struggling out of their grasp as she fights them. Finally, she loses, being held in her brother's embrace as they both cry, he barely has a scratch on him when she finally looks at him.

she’s never been physical in her life, but she punched him right in the face. Her twin brother, best friend in childhood and the person she’s known the longest in her life. He held her close in the womb, crying if they separated as soon as they were born, she loved him deeply and yet she hated him something fierce at that moment.

“It wasn’t my fault,” Evan cries, “we were stopped at a red light, Y/N!”

“I don’t care! He was supposed to be my husband!” She swats at him, smacking his arms again and again as he tries to hold them back, holding her so tightly as she basically screams bloody murder in the field.

All she can see is his face, her beautiful happy Stephen. The first time she ever saw him, standing under a street light in Boston, papers in his hand and wonder in his eyes. The way he looked up at her, the glow of the light making a halo glow over his head.

She should have known he was too good to be true. Always destined to return to the heavens, he was truly angelic with his big emerald eyes that were only the tiniest bit yellow on the edge of the pupil, the way her name sounded on his tongue like a blessing coming true.

They buried him 2 days after what was supposed to be their wedding. Disrupting another beautiful patch of earth to hide him away forever, she placed a single rose on his casket, she never said goodbye and she never planned to.

“See you later, superstar,” she patted the glossy black box once last time before sending him down into the earth.

—

September 2012

This fucking willow tree and 7-word sentences…

“What do you mean you have cancer?”

Her grandma let a tear slip from her eye, “I’ve got colon cancer, honey, the doctors said I have another 2 years, maybe 5 if I'm lucky.”

Every time someone sat beside her in this one spot, she learned the worst information in the world. Sure Evan didn’t mean to kill Stephen, doesn’t mean she’s talked to him at all in the last year. with Grandpa dying only a few summers back, her favourite house cat now buried in the yard, she can’t lose her grandma now too.

“Okay,” she starts to plan in her head, her eyes about ready to jump out of her skull as she tries to think of all the things they need to do before it’s too late, “let’s go to England, let’s blow my bank account, you can’t leave me without going to England with me? We were supposed to get tea and pretend to be the queen and princess?”

She couldn’t stop the tears, her whole body heaving as she sobbed into her grandma’s dress, “you can’t leave me too!”

“Your grandfather and I have a fund for you, you were the last baby we got to raise when your mom went back to work, I want you to use it for that baby we talked about,” her grandma’s voice is barely a whisper, softly getting the words over her vocal cords as the tears joined Y/N’s on her dress.

Without another word, she took her hand and walked home, getting in her car together and heading to the closest fertility clinic, she booked her first insemination for February, pre-paying for a round of IVF hormones and everything to start in January, she had 3 months to plan.

Finding the perfect donor was the only hard part. She had 3 different books to choose from with all the clinics in the DC area sharing 1 sperm bank. She finally made her decision 3 weeks before they were set to get her pregnant when they updated the books.

Sample 2319, male 30’s, healthy, high IQ, 6’1, brown eyes, brown hair (curly). “Sounds a lot like Stephen,” her grandma agreed, saying his name for the first time in over 2 years, she knew this was her guy.

—

June 14th, 2021

Peeing on a stick shouldn’t be as terrifying as it is.

She hasn’t been this nervous since the first time Dr. Collins inseminated her. Laying back on the table at a weird elevation to make sure she got pregnant, her whole body tense as she thought of the possibilities of her future child.

Sample 2319 sitting in a cup not too far from her face as she prepared for a man she barely knew to put the semen of another man she didn’t know, inside her. She only picked this guy cause he was smart and tall, no health issues to report and the number made her think of Monsters Inc.

In her mind, she made a baby with a man she named mike wazowski, not knowing his real name was actually Spencer Reid and he was only just down the road at Quantico the whole time. It was the weirdest day ever, and then it became the second-best day of her life

Nothing could top holding her baby in her arms for the first time. Her grandma and mother beside her as they all cried, the perfect purple baby screaming on her chest as they tried to wipe the white gunk off her tiny body. her sweet little coos, seeing her swollen eyes open for the first time, the silence that overcame her as they made their first introduction to each other. Her little person, the love of her life, her wonderful Amoreena.

Her cry was perfect, like music to her ears she wanted to hear her little voice as long as she could because it meant she was alive and real. She was healthy and beautiful and the most perfect bundle of joy she could have ever made.

Now she was hiding in the bathroom to pee on a stick while her 7-year-old had breakfast in the next room. Oh, how times changed, but one thing remained the same, she was finding out alone again. Only this time she meant for that to happen, it was exactly 4 days since her period was supposed to start and it wasn’t there, neither was Spencer.

He had something to do that morning, but he’d be meeting them later that afternoon, it was Amoreena’s last day of kindergarten after all. She wanted time to either enjoy the thought of having another baby or cry in peace because for once it didn’t work, giving her a week to recover before trying again.

Amoreena was a miracle, the easiest IVF baby they ever made at the clinic, apparently. If she was pregnant this easily again it was a sure sign that he was Amoreena’s father too, only he could get her knocked up while not even trying.

She didn’t remember pregnancy tests taking this long, she flipped it over and walked out of the room, unable to think of anything else while she waited for 3 minutes to pass. Amoreena noticed she was being weird, studying her mother's movements as she paced the hall outside of the bathroom door.

“What are you doing?” She asked, curious as ever as she twirled lightly in her new princess dress.

“Can you keep a secret?”

“Always mom, I’m the best secret keeper in all the kingdom, remember?” Amoreena smiled, holding onto her leg as she stared up at her.

“Your dad and I tried to make a baby,” she whispered, petting the litter hairs on her forehead as Amoreena looked up at her, her first little baby. “I’m waiting to find out if it worked, but we can’t tell anyone in case it didn’t, okay?”

Amoreena’s eyes were wider than she’s ever seen them, her mouth opened slowly as she understood the words in her mind. She didn’t look happy or surprised, nor upset or worried. She looked confused, “how?”

She laughed then, shaking her head as she lifted Amoreena into her arms, she would have to know soon anyway. “You know how every month mummy has a bad week where she bleeds and her tummy hurts?”

“Yeah?”

“When people with our parts grow up they make little tiny eggs but we don’t lay them like chickens do, they stay inside our tummies and wait to become babies and if they don’t we have a period and release all the stuff our bodies saved up that month to make a little person. You’ll have one soon too in a few years, probably when you're 12 like I was, and when people with a penis get old enough they’re able to help us make the babies like roosters help the chickens. Our bodies are really special and make some really cool things when we try to,” she explained it in the most simple farmhouse way she could.

“Like when the goats are all born in the spring and they just show up?” She tried to clarify, understanding it at the basic level.

“Kinda, you’ve seen the photos of you in my tummy and how aunty Shannon’s stomach grew when she had your cousins, I’ll get really big like that too if I’m pregnant, the baby will grow for 9 long months till they’re nice and healthy and then we’ll have another person in the family,” she couldn’t help but smile as she thought about it.

“How do we find out?”

She opened the bathroom door then and carried Amoreena inside, setting her down on the sink and pointing at the upside-down test stick. “We create a special hormone when we’re pregnant, it’s something that can be detected in our pee!” she explained it like it was magic, watching her get excited instead of grossed out.

“So I peed on that stick and if it has 2 lines I have a baby in my tummy, if not then your dad and I have to try again.”

Amoreena picked up the test and looked at it, keeping it out of her mothers sight as she did so, “there’s two lines,” she lit up waving the stick lightly as she squealed.

Y/N wrapped her up in her arms and twirled her around, “you’re gonna be the best big sister ever!”

“How do we tell dad?” Amoreena’s soft voice whispered in her ear as she snuggled into her shoulder.

“I have an idea,” she whispered back before carrying her back into the kitchen.

Her All About Me project was sitting on the counter, ready for Y/N to drive her into school today. She set Amoreena down on the floor to watch her as she took some tape and taped the stick to the bottom corner of the project. “Pass me the marker, please?”

Amoreena ran to the counter to get it, coming back and placing it in her mom's hand before leaning in to watch what she was writing.

“I’m going to be a big sister sometime next February!” Amoreena read the words as her mother wrote them, unbelievably excited.

“Your dad can read that at the ceremony tonight!”

“I thought you said we can’t tell anyone yet?” Amoreena questioned her, like always.

“Your teacher can know, the other kids won't know what it means, it’s just important Spencer sees it, but we will wait to tell nanny and poppy, okay? Sometimes the babies don’t always stay, it’s sad so we keep it a secret until they’ve got a tiny little heartbeat in there,” she didn’t want to scare her, but she knew it was always a possibility.

“Then we try again,” Amoreena smiled, “It’ll be easier now that you don’t need Dr. Collins to help you, how did you even make me without Spencer?” She didn't use his real name often anymore, only in times when she wasn't referring to him as her father.

She sat down then, pulling Amoreena into her lap so she could hold her while she thought of the right words. “So we have eggs, but people with penises have something called sperm. When adults, and I mean adults you have to be at least 25 to have a baby it’s the rules,” she teased her slightly, ticking her arms.

“Adults have sex, babies are made when someone with a vagina and someone with a penis get together. But when you don’t have a partner with a penis to help, sometimes they’ll donate their sperm to the doctor's offices to help people like me make their perfect little families all by themselves.”

“Interesting,” is all her little mind can say, she has learned so much in one day, Y/N was surprised she was still listening and surprisingly still for once. “Is it a boy or a girl?”

“We won't know for a while,” she smiled, holding Amoreena closer to her chest. “How do you feel about all this?”

Amoreena was quiet as she thought about it, “is Spencer the guy who gave the doctors the sperm for me?”

“We think so, but we don’t know, why?”

Amoreena looked at her softly, “it wouldn’t be fair, I know he said I don’t need a father but why do they get to have him for both?”

“I think Spencer is your father, you’re just as smart and wonderful as he is, there’s no doubt in my mind that you’re his baby too. but if you want to know if he isn't, when you turn 18 the doctors will tell you who it is, it's completely up to you to find out,” she whispered, the tears starting to fall down her cheeks as Amoreena tried to wipe them away.

"I like thinking he's my father, so he is." Her mind worked in the most wonderful way. Y/N couldn’t help but hold her close as she lightly cried, “I had a dream yesterday that I had 8 sisters,” her voice was so soft and innocent as her tiny hand cupped her mother's cheek.

She gasped lightly at the words, remembering Spencer’s panic in the middle of the night last night, how scared he was to leave her all alone with 9 babies and no one to help her. They knew something that she didn’t yet, cheaper by the dozen seemed less like a dream and more like a prophecy.

“I’m so happy to make your dream come true,” Y/N whispered, “I promise I’m happy, the baby just makes me emotional.”

Amoreena placed her hand on her tummy then, “I love you, baby.”

Y/N stuck her tummy out as far as she could, “I love you too, big sister,” she said in a funny voice to make Amoreena laugh, leaning back in the chair as she held her.

And just like that, getting pregnant with Amoreena was bumped into 3rd place for the best day of her life. Sharing the moment with her and no one else was perfect, insuring she knew that she was just as important moving forward as the little person she was growing this time.

tag list: @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @spookyspence @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187 let me know if you would like to be added as well!!

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine #amoreena

[scuttling]

Kneel

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Latina OFC Sophie Cortes Word Count: 1,757 Tags: NSFW, 18+, Oral sex, Kneeling, Dom/sub, Daddy kink, Canon-typical violence, Hurt/comfort Summary: Sophie is kidnapped, and something the unsub says triggers her in way Aaron never expected. Link to A03 or read below!

“On your knees for me, baby,” Aaron says, and Sophie drops to them without even thinking; her body just obeys the command now, like so many others he gives her. “I’m the only one you do this for. I’m the only one you give your power to. The only one you trust with it.”

“Yes, daddy, only you. Always.” The need to please him, to prove that she belongs to him one hundred percent, is always strong, but never so strong as when she kneels for him, looks up at him from the ground, in all of his glory. There are so many things he could do to her in this position, so much he could take, but he never does, because he meets her trust and devotion with adoration and love, would never hurt her.

“My perfect girl. You give me the greatest gifts, when you give yourself to me like this.” He reaches a gentle hand down, cups her chin, tilts her head up, and she sighs, content. “Good girl. I want to just stand here for a moment and look at you. How good you are for me. How easily you give me this part of you. I know how headstrong you are; I know giving up your power is hard.”

“Not anymore, daddy. Not for you.” He closes his eyes, exhales long like he’s feeling overwhelmed.

“That’s right, sweet girl. It’s as easy as breathing for you now, isn’t it? You actually need me to take your power, sometimes; to relieve you of the burden.” Her eyes water a little, because he’s right, because he knows her so well. Being on her knees for him isn’t about sucking him off, even if that’s what she ends up doing; it is about being cared for in a way she didn’t even know she needed, until Aaron showed her. Until he eased the ache, lifted a weight off her chest she hadn’t even realized she’d been carrying.

“I need you, daddy. I love you, daddy.”

“I love you, baby. I’m here for you.” He presses two fingertips to her lips, and she opens her mouth for him, lets him push them inside. She sucks on them softly, because he is undemanding, sweet, almost reverent, the way he looks at her; when he pulls them out, replaces them with his cock, she echoes it right back, worships him with her mouth and hands until she earns his praise in the form of her name, breathy, falling from his lips.

They live in a world where life is rarely perfect, but in Sophie’s world, this is about as close as it gets. When Aaron finds out that Sophie has been taken, the fifth thing he thinks is that it’s a small blessing that her comms were on when their unsub abducted her. It’s currently set up so she can’t hear them, but they can hear her, and it makes the drive to the unsub’s storage unit slightly easier, her rough breath in his ear. At least she’s still breathing.

“You’re finally awake,” the unsub says; his voice is faint, like he’s not very close to her. “I’ve been wanting to play with you, but I only play when my girls are awake.”

“You know my team will come for me,” Sophie says matter-of-factly. The unsub makes a sound of disinterest.

“I’m sure they will, but not until after I’ve had my fun.” His voice is louder, clearer. Closer. “I hope you don’t mind that I used your handcuffs; you look beautiful, with your arms bound. At my mercy.”

Sophie swallows hard.

“If you’re going to kill me, just do it.”

“You know I’m not going to kill you yet. You know what I like to do first. You found me; you must know.” JJ is in the passenger seat, covers her mouth with her hand like she’s going to be sick.

“Yes, I do. You like to make them fear for their lives, and then you torture them until they beg for death. You beat them with your bare hands just to feel something, because you’re incapable of feeling things.”

“That’s right. I’m a real psycho.” There is a grin in his voice when he says it, something sick.

“Actually, you’re a sociopath. It’s textbook antisocial personality disorder.”

“Enough. I prefer my girls to be silent—except for the pleading and the crying, of course. That’s the sweet spot.” Sophie’s breathing gets rougher; maybe he’s getting closer. “Get on your knees.”

She inhales sharply.

“No.” Aaron resists closing his eyes, but only because he’s driving. Fuck.

The unsub chuckles.

“Are you stupid? I said get on your knees. Kneel.”

“And I said no.” There is a clear sound of impact, like a blow to the face, and Sophie grunts.

“Why is she agitating him?” Reid asks from the backseat, almost pleading.

“Kneel,” the unsub repeats sternly, but she must not do it; there is the sound of another blow, and then she falls to the ground with a thud. More impact, and she acts like the breath is knocked out of her; he’s kicking her in the stomach, maybe. Aaron winces, feels pure rage rush through him. When he gets his hands on this son of a bitch...

“Kneel.”

“I won’t do it,” Sophie says, her voice weak, and it earns her several more kicks; she cries out in pain.

“I said kneel!” The unsub is enraged now, it’s clear from the tone of his voice, and Aaron wishes she could hear him so he could beg her to do it, to just do it.

“I won’t do it, I won’t do it,” she murmurs softly, and Aaron’s heart aches.

“Stop saying that to me!” This time it sounds like he’s hitting her in the face; her breath is labored, sounds wet.

“I’m not—I’m not saying it to you,” she rasps, and Aaron curses, because he knows, now, that the words are for him.

“What does that mean?” Prentiss asks from the backseat, and Aaron sighs, swears again.

“It’s for me.”

“Kneel,” the unsub repeats.

“I won’t give it to him,” Sophie assures.

“What does that mean, Hotch?” JJ asks, desperate.

“Kneel!”

“I won’t give it to him. I won’t do it.” Her voice is soft and laced with pain.

“Get on your knees or I will gut you right there, I swear to god,” the unsub hisses practically into the mouthpiece.

“Hotch!” Reid calls. Aaron exhales hard.

“She’ll only get on her knees for me. It’s something we talk about.”

“Are you kidding me? She’s willing to die over some kinky game you two play?” JJ says, incredulous.

“It’s not about sex, it’s about trust. It’s about her willingly giving up her power.” He’s sick to his stomach, wishes again that he could beg her to obey, tell her it’s alright.

“Stand,” the unsub tells her, and there is more labored breathing as she pulls herself up. “So you’ll stand on a foot I’m fairly sure is broken, but you won’t kneel? Answer me!”

“I don’t answer to you,” she spits, and then there are sounds of a struggle; more impact, bodies hitting the ground, and then choking sounds. Someone is gasping for air. It is agony to listen to, and everyone in the car is tense, quiet, terrified. They’re five minutes out; will it be enough time?

He’s not sure how much time passes, but the choking sounds stop. All that’s left is heavy breathing.

She could just be passed out. She might not be dead. He repeats it like a mantra, until they hear the voice.

“Aaron?”

It’s Sophie, sounding exhausted. They all sigh in relief, and JJ grabs hold of his arm, squeezes.

“Aaron, I want you to remember that it looks much worse than it is. There’s just a lot of blood because my nose is broken. I think he was wrong about my foot, but I’m just going to sit here until you come get me, just in case.”

The sound of her voice has never been sweeter; he wants to cry, or scream. They have to be right around the corner.

“I love you. I love all of you. I’m sorry you guys had to listen to that.” She sighs, sounds like she’s crying herself. “I know I should have just done what he said, but… I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t give him my power. I hope you’re not mad.”

When they finally make it inside, he wraps her up in his arms and kisses her bloody face, assures her he’s not angry.

The unsub is dead, with ligature marks on his throat; apparently she got him close enough to get her arms around him and choke him with the cuffs. Nobody is upset with the way it ended but Sophie.

“It’s so different from shooting someone,” she breathes against his neck. “Not that that’s easy, but I could feel him die. It makes me sick to think about it.” He shushes her, presses his lips to her forehead.

“My brave, headstrong, perfect girl,” he murmurs, holding her tightly. He knows the EMTs are right behind them, and she needs to be seen, but until they arrive he just holds her. “My incredible wife. I’m here for you. It will be okay.”

She gets hugs from everyone, but it’s kind of a group hug situation, because he will not let her go.

Her nose is broken, a minor fracture, but her foot is just sprained; she’s patched up, given lots of love and attention by the team, by Aaron; when they make it back to the hotel, all she wants is a hot shower and to be held some more, so that’s what he plans for.

What he doesn’t plan for is her sliding to her knees in front of him instead of getting dressed for bed. Her body is covered in purple bruises, and so is her face, and he sits down on the bed, presses his hands carefully to her cheeks.

“I need you, daddy,” she breathes, eyes wet, and he pulls her closer, let’s her rest her head in his lap.

“I’ll take your burden, baby, if you let me.” He cards his fingers through her hair, rubs his hands softly over her shoulders, and that’s how she falls asleep. He moves her to the bed, wraps her up in the blanket and holds her, presses his nose against her hair; he listens to the sound of her breathing and doesn’t sleep a wink.

#aaron hotchner #criminal minds #aaron hotchner fanfic #criminal minds fanfic #aaron hotchner x original female character #aaron hotchner/original female character #latina original female character #kneeling #hurt/comfort

[reidswritings]

the second time they were just too cute

word count; 1.6k

warning; nothing but fluff and my obvious love for miss alex blake (god i miss her)

authors note; hello here is PART TWO of times they were just too cute. this is related to the first part but you don't have to read to understand! hope you enjoy!!! :)

two; reading to each other on a rainy day

It doesn’t rain a lot. Well, actually, it does rain every once and awhile, but it usually never coincides with the days that Y/N and Spencer had off. Usually, it rained when they were off saving the world from the murderous species that they so often hunted. It usually happened when they were so far off the beaten path that they couldn’t even take a second to even smell the rain— let alone get ten, fifteen minutes to enjoy it.  

Once in a blue moon, it seemed— which was less than adequate, seeing as how they loved the rain. 

The adorable couple had a routine. Every time it rained they would go out onto the fire escape (that was conveniently covered by the roof of their building. it protected them from the rain and that was absolutely perfect. they could enjoy the weather without the added component of getting soaked), usually with a blanket and at least one or two books. If Spencer had a choice, it would be closer to double digits. 

He had even tried once, to bring too many books, but with one look from his Lovely Girl he was quickly putting majority of the paperbacks back on to the old, withering table. He would just put down the less read ones and tuck his most favorites under his arm and pull his Pretty Lady out onto the makeshift terrace. 

Spencer would sit on a higher step, stretching his long legs out and Y/N would pull the blanket on top of them and lean against the Lanky Boy, sitting on the stair below. His arms would come around her, pulling her close, book open in front of the two. 

He loved that. He loved reading to his Pretty Girl— when she first asked him to do so, he thought he would hate it, having to read so slow. But he loved it— he loved reading to someone who never interrupted, never told him he was annoying, told him that the topic was boring. 

He was never so happy to be proven wrong. 

At first he welcomed the idea as a way to get her to relax and get a moment of peace from the hell that was their job, but then as the book dates (that’s what Spencer liked to call it. Once, Morgan had over heard Spencer asking Y/N if they were still on for their book date and he had never let him live it down. Just yet another reason for the dark-skinned hunk to tease Spencer for his nerdiness) began to become more frequent, he found himself relaxing and letting his own stress melt away with every word he read. 

Usually, on those days— on the bad days, Spencer would read until he was blue in the face and Y/N was sound asleep against his chest. 

And even then, even when his audience was no longer listening, he’d keep on— arms still wrapped around his girl and heart still beating wildly in his chest.

Those were Spencer and Y/N’s favorite days— a part of them both wished that those days came around more often than they did, but they also learned to appreciate the days when they did come around. 

Like the current day— the love birds sat, side by side, as Spencer slowly read her one of his many, many books. Her head was leaning back on her Lovely Boy, his voice deeper than normal and raspy from the day’s talking. She loved it, she could listen to him all day. 

Luckily, this was one of the days that it was raining. Y/N had one of Spencer’s cardigans wrapped around her frail body, the sleeves coming way past the tips of her finger. She had to fold it up just to be able to hold the book in front of her. Spencer added that to the list of things he loved about her— it was getting longer than he cared to admit. 

Her eyes roamed the city beneath them— she watched as the rain forced many people indoors, and how cars, filled with eager people to get home, rushed through the wet streets. She watched as the clouds moved and morphed into shapes that could be pointed out. She watched as the sun began to lay itself to rest and the moon took its place. 

She listened to her Pretty Boy speak in his hushed voice, and felt his hand comb through her tangled hair, the other coming around to rest on her stomach— butterflies still erupting, even after all these years. 

She held the book in her hands, flipping the page at the appropriate times. She knew that it was redundant— she knew that he had already memorized the book. And he knew that she knew that too, but it gave her something to do with her hands. 

And that was enough for the both of them. 

The current chapter was coming to a close, the last words slipping from the boy’s lips, and she closed the book— fingers stuck inside, holding the spot (another redundancy, thanks to the eidetic memory of the genius behind her). 

The boy’s brows furrowed and he asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Y/N pushed herself from her man and turned to look at him. “I’m starting to fall asleep. I need—”

“We can stop—”

“No—! No, I was just gonna get us some coffee.” She smiled at the boy. “I don’t want to stop yet.”

She stood up, wrapping his cardigan tighter around her waist. The lovesick look returned to Spencer’s eyes as he watched his girl. His girl, god, he’d never get used to that— even after all the years they’d spent together. 

She was standing in the apartment now, head peaking out the window, a dopey smile on her lips, “Comin’?”

He stood too, taking her outstretched hand, “Yeah. Yeah, I’m coming.”

Before long, the pair stood in front of the coffee pot, watching it brew The Good Stuff. Wrapped in each other’s arms, Spencer continued to recite the book, lowly. Her arms were now around his waist, head still on his chest only this time her ear was conveniently placed over his heart. She listened to each and every beat, committing it to memory. For just a moment, she wished she had Spencer’s gift— the one that lets him replay each and every moment they’ve ever had. She envied that— to Y/N, having the power to recall everything that had ever happened was a blessing. 

The boy’s large hands were splayed on her back, fingers drumming in rhythm to the words he spoke— he paused and placed a kiss on her head. 

She felt him smile against her head and she pulled away, as did he. She took him in— the soft look in his eyes, the one he only got when he looked at her, the way his lips ever so slightly curled up in the smallest smile she had ever seen, the blush that just barely dusted his cheeks and nose, highlighting the baby freckles he had there. She took in the beauty that was Spencer Reid. She took in all the love he had for her.

“Do you know what Morgan told me today?” She asked even know she already knew the answer. He had been across the room, talking to JJ and Penelope when the Handsome Man had approached her. There was no way he had heard her. 

And like Y/N had predicted, Spencer shook his head slightly, humming in question, “Hmm?”

She smiled and pushed herself up on her tip toes, kissing the boy, pulling away and sharing the lovesick look with him. The blush that was once barely detectable was now as bright as a firetruck. “He said that he’d never seen you happier. Said that he was glad you had someone that loved you unconditionally.”

His blush deepened, if that was even possible. His arms loosened around her body and his small smile lessened. He thought about it— he was happy and maybe his dark-skinned friend was right. Maybe this was the happiest he’d ever been. 

A beat passed. Then he was pulling her back in, “He’s right, you know. I am happy.”

“Good. It looks good on you.” It was her turn to pull away now, coffee ready for consumption. Spencer watched as she pulled two funky colored mugs down from the shelf, placing them in front of the beat up coffee pot. They needed a new one, this was was seconds away from crapping out. It was on the list of things the pair needed to get done, but with their hectic schedule it was almost impossible to get it done. 

Well, that and it just happened to be a housewarming gift from an old friend. And it seemed impossible to part with the old thing, it was apart of them now— no matter how cliché it sounded. 

Thank you, Alex Blake, for many wonderfully brewed cups of coffee. 

She poured two cups, dumping too much sugar into one of them before turning back around to the love of her life. He was leaning against the counter opposite her, watching with that same lovely smile plastered on his face. 

Mugs in her hands, she laughed, “What?”

“I just love you. A lot.” 

“Yeah? Well, I love you, too. Now, take your coffee.” Now, it was the Pretty Girl’s time to blush. She expertly thrusted the mug at him, none of the hot liquid escaping. She brushed past him, moving towards the fire escape again, cup pressed to her lips and book tucked under her arm. “You comin’, Spence?”

“Always, my love.”

#spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #spencer reid x reader #spencer x reader #matthew gray gubler #mgg

[witchyfrankincense]

La Méprise (part three)

Spencer Reid x fem!Reader

Summary: You start history with Spencer Reid in your university auditorium.

Warnings: violence, fight, reminding of trauma, season 13 spoilers, prof!Spencer, student!Reader, suggestive.

❁❁❁❁❁❁

Like clockwork, Spencer had turned around faster than you realized no one was following your steps next to you. Your heart dropped more than it already had as you understood that there was something, some nick, that you had failed to catch. But maybe you were the lost one here?

It seemed like Spencer had no doubts about his forthcoming actions – you watched him take quick, aggressive strides towards Mike. Seconds later, his tensed fist made contact with Mike's face. Spencer's act made you jump. Your usual first instinct would have been to yell, to interfere. But this time you didn't.

Right after the action, Mike was angrily pushed against the wall.

"You should stop talking," Spencer mumbled, angrily shoving him at the wall for the second time, pulling the man by his bunched-up jacket. Mike let out a pained groan and scoffed, later inhaling a deep breath of air. "Okay," he spat out. "Okay. Man."

"If you ever even look at me again," Spencer spoke, a harsher than usual undertone in his voice. However, soon after, he just went silent, staring at Mike for a few more moments before releasing him from his grip. You breathed out, shoulders dropping. You felt tiredness wash over you, obvious from all the stupidly scary events that had just happened.

After seeing Spencer turn back around and start walking towards you, you nodded and turned away from the sight of Mike silently chuckling and wiping his bloody nose. You opened the door. The fresh breeze of the outside air lifted your mood and you took a wide step outside.

"Can you still walk with me?" your voice reached both of yours' ears after you closed the door. "Oh, yeah. I'll join the team later," he replied, glancing in your direction. You both went quiet, still walking, Spencer seemingly following your lead of way. "Thank you," you suddenly muttered, placing your hands into your jacket pockets.

"Hm?" Spencer replied to your unexpected gratitude. You let out a small sigh, looking down at your synced-up footsteps. "Thank you for doing that. I would've punched the bitch myself, but, you know," you softly spoke. He smiled. "I'm not...usually a puncher," he weakly mumbled, shoving his hands into his pant pockets.

"I could've guessed," you joked, instantly frowning on yourself. "It's, not like you, you know, look like you wouldn't be able to, uh, punch someone, I was just—,"

"Joking. Yeah. To be fair, I agree," Spencer finished for you, making your shoulders drop in relief. You both let out chuckles. Continuing to walk down the asphalt path, you looked around the university campus. "Yeah, I usually take the bus to university. Quicker that way. I don't have the ability, nor want to sprint here at 8 a.m. Though, I enjoy a walk sometimes," you craned your neck to his side, sharing a random daily life thought. He nodded, straightening his shoulders.

"That is very true, actually, did you know that walks are extremely good for your well-being? Just 30 minutes every day can increase cardiovascular fitness, strengthen bones, reduce excess body fat, and boost muscle power and endurance. It can also reduce your risk of developing conditions such as, uh, heart disease, type 2 diabetes, osteoporosis and some cancers. Unlike some other forms of exercise, walking is, you know, free and doesn't require any special equipment or training," he finished talking, glancing at you brightly. You raised your eyebrows in shock and cheered.

"Wow! Spencer—,' you stopped, realizing your lack of knowledge about his last name. "Reid," he mumbled back, continuing to walk. "—Spencer Reid, the fact machine! Hey, buddy, does that head ever get too heavy for you?" you laughed out, crossing your arms and raising your head. "Hey," he mocked your tone, "That, is downright mean," he raised his voice playfully, his eyebrows furrowing.

You both bickered as you rounded the corner. And, you continued talking while walking down the lonely road. And while you pointed out the apartment building you were staying at.

And when you both said goodbyes after he had led you to the building door, a creeping feeling of awe kept trying to make you fall – to slip down the very stairs you built.

Five days later

Thursday.

"Spencer?"

Three mornings. After the boringly passed weekend, you had spent the last three mornings walking into the auditorium and longingly glancing at the seats – hoping to see the familiar curly-haired persona. But you never did, as each time you looked up, the seat was empty. Had you scared him off? Or maybe he thought you were weird? Many questions swarmed your mind constantly, and, well, there was really no hope of distracting it. Because the only person who could, wasn't showing up.

On the blessed fourth day, you walked into campus, sipping your new-bought iced latte with caramel, dressed in dashing black baggy jeans and 90's-esque top with a bunch of shiny silver jewelry all over your neck and hands, not expecting anything to be different. Because you got it, you understood – obviously he had a job to do, a terrifyingly important one, at that, and going to these lectures and meeting you was just a side mission – a pastime.

However, as you were making your way to the door, you noticed him – Spencer, standing near the entrance.

"Spencer? Hey, you're back," you exclaimed, quickly swallowing your sip of coffee and smiling. He returned the smile, nodding. "I am, uh, I had a bunch of cases, so, didn't really have time," he spoke, joining your stride to the door. "No, it's all good, Spence. I get it. Your job is extremely important, and I definitely don't expect you to, you know, always be here." Seconds later, you mentally cursed at yourself after realizing your accidental use of a nickname instead of his full name. "Shit—, sorry, I called you Spence," you pointed out quietly, glancing at him to watch his reaction. He, however, gave none.

"It's okay—you know, this teammate of mine, JJ, she's my best friend—, she also calls me Spence, so, yeah, you can, if you want," he mumbled out, a smile playing on his lips. "Wow, didn't know you had a girl best friend! I bet she's super cool," your voice rose in slight excitement.

You realized that you both had stopped walking.

"She is," Spencer replied wholeheartedly, smiling. His eyes then dropped down to your outfit. "You look pretty today, by the way," he pointed out, seconds later turning back to face the entrance and beginning to walk forward. Your mouth hung open in slight shock and it took you a good second to catch your expression, shake your head and speed walk towards Spencer.

He complimented you.

"Thank you," you mumbled after catching up to him, flashing him a grateful smile. He nodded. "You know, there's something I want to tell you," he suddenly spoke up, his lowered tone making your heart drop for no other reason than worry. "What is it?" you instantly asked, grasping the handle of your bag.

"Oh," Spencer lightly laughed, glancing at your direction. "It's nothing bad, I promise. I mean—I'll just tell you. I'll be in temporary teaching at this university," he mumbled. You raised your eyebrows, aiming your gaze at the ground. "Really? That's cool," you answered, smiling through your words. "So, you'll be my professor?" you blurted out a thought, regretting it a moment later.

"Yeah," Spencer chuckled back, looking at you. "Guess I will."

Butterflies suddenly erupted in your stomach, and your expression changed as you realized that. Shut up, you softies. You had no idea why you felt so warm out of the sudden, as all you did was think about Spencer being your professor.

Spencer being your professor? Did you have some weird professor and student fantasy?

You subconsciously shook your head and continued walking in silence alongside Spencer, deep in thought. However, a moment later your inner mind light bulb lit up and you lifted your head up, straightening your posture. "Wait, what trained FBI team member takes up temporary teaching for some inexperienced students?" you asked, shooting him a quick look. You saw him tense up, visibly sighing. He looked at you and weakly smiled.

"I really wished you hadn't asked me that," he muttered and you frowned. "Oh—I'm sorry, I didn't—,"

"It's okay. You have the right to know. I've—uh, I've been to prison. Falsely accused," he began, nervously correcting himself after noticing your intense stare. The both of you blinked in shock – you because of Spencer's sudden confession, him – probably because of the same thing.

"Of what?" you asked carefully. Spencer swallowed. "Multiple drug possession. Suspicion of drug distribution. Murder of Nadie Ramos," he muttered quietly. You felt your eyebrows furrow, mind running through all possibilities. "Oh."

"I was framed. But I still spent almost three months there. It was, uh, bad," he whispered, his voice barely audible. "I'm sorry," you replied, feeling at a loss of appropriate words. Spencer quickly shook his head, smiling. "You don't have to be. That's why I'm teaching. I was recommended to do it. It's like a...break, I guess."

You returned his smile, looking back at the ground. "You start today?"

"Yeah."

You began walking through the corridors, making your way to the auditorium. "I bet you'll make a great professor," you quietly exclaimed, watching his somewhat anxious expression shift into a softer one. He chuckled. "Thank you. I hope I'll live up to your expectations." "You will," you muttered almost instantly, voice higher. Once again, seconds later regretting even opening your mouth. Spencer laughed again. Walking through, Spencer pushed the already open door further, stopping so you'd walk first. You thankfully nodded back to him and smiled. "Go sit," he suddenly mumbled behind you and you felt him place his warm hand on your bare lower back, softly pushing you towards the seats.

You inhaled harshly, barely containing the need to arch beneath his hand, and quickly nodded, hurrying to the stairs. Spencer visibly grinned behind you.

Hopelessly ignoring your previous spot, you hurried to the second aisle, quietly hoping that the seat you chose wasn't taken. After all, you were fully ready to support Spencer on his new-found teaching, you obviously knew him more than the other students.

"Hello, uh, my name is Spencer Reid," he started, voice raising on his last name. The others quickly settled down, slightly interested in their new professor. He was easy on the eyes. You grinned to yourself, still gazing at him. Apparently, Spencer did indeed feel your stare at him, so he looked back, a smile beginning to play on his lips as he breathed in. Moments after, he began going on about a whole cluster of themes and subjects he had decided to teach you all. You failed to take your eyes of him.

<>

"Yes! So, this'll be it for today, don't forget to buy or get that book from somewhere else because it shares extremely good opinions and is very important for your understanding of what we're going through! And have a great day!" Spencer raised his voice to express his last thoughts to majority of the students who were already getting up from their seats and heading towards the exit door. You stayed, a wide smile on your lips as you noticed him glance at the leaving students with brighter than usual eyes. You stood up, fetching your bag and dropping it on your seat. You slowly walked towards Spencer, him finally looking back at you.

"See, you were great, Professor Reid," you jokingly exclaimed, seeing him laugh while packing his belongings behind the desk. "Thank you, Y/N, guess I am pretty great at teaching. I just, I don't know, felt as if you were all so interested in what I was speaking about, so, yeah, that was pretty great," he expressed, running his hand through his fluffy hair.

Your eyes subconsciously traced his hand, cheeks somewhat heating up, and you smiled. "Yeah, we were all pretty into your teaching. It's cool, your way of talking, I mean. But I think that wasn't the only reason why they were so immersed in you," you spoke, not realizing your accidental change of view. You both chuckled, Spencer seemingly deepening his gaze at you. "I wonder what that is," he teasingly replied, leaning down to get his case full of books and teaching material, however not turning his eyes away from yours.

You broke the eye contact, deciding that the conversation was way  too teasing for your liking, and laughed quietly to yourself.

Oh, shut up, Ms. I-might-have-a-professor-kink, I know you'd love for this mood to go on for the rest of your pitiful life.

"I wonder, too," you mumbled, feeling warmer. Spencer returned a light scoff. "Well, you seemed to know it when you first brought up the fact, so, tell me. I'm clueless, Y/N," he replied again with a tiny bit of a smooth velvet tone in his voice and your heart almost dropped in fear of his words. Why was he so confident? "Well, I think we're both kinda', you know, aware?" you hesitated, looking back at Spencer. His tongue darted out of his mouth, wetting his lips and he stood back, sliding his chair under the desk.

"Are we? Am I?"

You swallowed, trying to regain your usual snarky mood, while also moving back to your seat and snatching your bag from it. "I think so, yes," you exclaimed, sighing and joining his stride to the door. You both walked beside each other, Spencer sheepishly smiling and looking straight ahead. He didn't say a word until you reached the door.

"Well, why don't you think about that like a good student and tell me tomorrow, hm?" Spencer suddenly spoke up, making you freeze in your step. You widened your eyes at his words and looked up at him. His eyes were shimmering. You both stopped walking and you nodded, feeling awfully hot at his title for you. He smiled and unexpectedly raised his hand, leaning in closer and brushing a strand of hair out of your face, pushing it behind your ear. You continued to stare at him, wide-eyed, and he seemed to enjoy your confusion.

"Goodbye, Y/N," he muttered and lowered his hand near his side, opening the door and closing it behind him. You began feeling weak, reaching behind blindly in search of the wall. After you had found it, you leaned against it, trying to regain your breathing.

What just happened and why did you like it?

<>

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #smut #fluff #criminal minds #derek morgan #david rossi #jennifer jareau #emily prentiss #aaron hotchner #penelope garcia #love story #bau team #fanfiction #professor #spoilers

[spencersstrawberryjello]

Forehead Kisses (Spencer Reid x nb!MC)

Summary: Caelan has to deal with the emotional aftermath of a case gone wrong, and Spencer comforts them when they have a breakdown.

Content: Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: Minor descriptions of violence in relation to the case they were on, mild panic attack (after a nightmare)

MC’s name and pronouns: Caelan (kay-len), they/them

Word Count: 1951

A/N: This was written at the request of a friend of mine, so that’s why it’s a bit more specific in terms of character traits/description.

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“Hey.” Spencer came to sit in front of me, elbows on his knees as he leaned forward and lightly put his hand under my chin, guiding me to meet his eyes. “You ok?”

“What do you think?” I snapped. He flinched a bit, and I felt immediate guilt flare up in my chest. “I’m sorry. I can’t… I just don’t want to think about it right now.”

“I understand,” He said softly, “Seeing this kind of stuff - it’s hard, even after years.”

I just nodded, trying to force the thoughts of the case out of my mind by staring at the floor, allowing myself to zone out. Spencer’s touch brought me back to reality, squeezing into the airplane seat next to me and wrapping his arms around me. I shifted a bit so that my head was buried in his shirt, letting him hold me as I tried to avoid thinking about the horror I’d just witnessed. I heard footsteps come from near the cabin, pausing near us just as Spencer spoke to someone nearby. 

“Case was hard for them. They’re not really answering me about anything.” I assumed he thought I was asleep as he spoke to whoever was standing next to our seat. 

“Are they going to be ok?” It was Hotch. 

“They’re strong, at the very least. I think they just need to go home, clear their head. I’m going to try to stay with them tonight, just to make sure they get to sleep alright.”

“Good,” He said it in the definitive “Hotch” way, like they were just discussing a case. It almost made me laugh, but I stopped myself before I gave away that I was awake. 

I felt Spencer nod and heard Hotch’s footsteps retreat before Spencer leaned a bit closer to my ear. 

“I know you’re awake, Cae.”

“Dammit,” I muttered in response, and he laughed softly.

“You're dating a genius, remember? I could tell based on your breathing that you were awake, dork.”

“Excuse me, I don’t think you can call me a dork when you’re the one who knows Star Trek front to back!”

“In my defense, I know everything front to back.”

“Oh shut up,” I lightly hit his arm, and he laughed again. 

“You’re ok with me coming home with you tonight, right?” He clarified. I grinned, my face still hidden against his sweater. 

“Dr. Reid! Being a bit bold, aren’t we?” I teased. I didn’t need to see him to know he was blushing. I guess knowing I was asexual still didn’t keep him from getting all flustered at the mention of anything remotely sexual; it was sort of adorable.

“I - I mean no I know that you don’t like that stuff, I would never try to -”

“Babe. Relax. I was only teasing. Of course I’m ok with you coming home with me.” I leaned my head back to look up at his face, “I’d really appreciate it, actually.”

“Ok. Good.” He sounded relieved, relaxing a bit in the leather chair as he held me a bit tighter. We spent the rest of the plane ride in silence. I’d felt a bit better joking with him, but the minute I allowed my mind to wander again, the gore I saw earlier flashed through my mind. I buried my head further into Spencer’s chest, trying desperately to block out the rampaging thoughts, and he picked up on it, pulling me closer to him and whispering again. 

“Hey. It’s ok. You’re safe with me, babe.”

I nodded against him. “I just want to get home.”

“Tired?”

“Exhausted. But I’m worried I won’t be able to sleep.”

“It wouldn’t be surprising if you had trouble with sleeping after what we all saw today, I mean -”

“Yeah. I know.”

He lightly rubbed my back in comfort, placing a soft kiss on the top of my head as we felt the plane start to descend. 

“Baby. We’ve gotta go,” Spencer prompted as the plane bumped to a landing. I groaned, reluctantly getting up and grabbing my backpack while he grabbed his bag from the chair in front of us. He slung it across his chest, and I grinned. 

“I love that little satchel.”

“I know, right? It’s really effective -”

“It’s adorable.”

“It’s a bag.”

“You make it adorable.”

He laughed at that, though I saw a blush coloring his cheeks. We got off the jet, heading back into the office. 

“Reid,” Rossi called Spencer from across the room, making both of us stop and turn in his direction. Rossi jogged over to meet us, lowering his voice to ensure the rest of the team wouldn’t hear. 

“I’m going to give them some paperwork to fill out, just to debrief. I trust that you two can get caught up tomorrow? Hotch told me that they were… not doing great.” 

“You can talk about me like I’m here, Rossi,” I half-joked. I’d quickly realized joking about it was the best way to keep my mind distracted.

“Sorry. Just wanted to be clear.”

“Yeah, we can catch up tomorrow morning. I’d rather just get home,” Spencer answered. Rossi nodded resolutely.

“Sounds good. I expect it. Caelan… you did good today. Really good.”

I offered him a half smile - a habit I’d surely picked up from Spencer - and we made our way out of the office, Spencer guiding me to his car and letting me get in the passenger seat. 

We drove back to my apartment with only the sound of music playing softly through the car radio. At some point, Spencer reached over and took my hand, holding it gently and giving it a light squeeze as he drove us to my house, parking and letting himself in before leading me through the hall and into my bedroom. 

“Wait wait wait,” I stopped him, turning back towards the door. He let me go as I went back to the front door of my apartment, double and triple checking that the door was locked and the alarms were set. 

There’s only so long you can go in this profession without becoming at least a little bit paranoid.

“Ok. Ok, I’m good,” I said, returning to the end of the hall. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. I get it, babe,” He put his arm around my shoulders, walking with me to the bedroom. “Do you want to change?”

I nodded, and he opened my dresser, pulling out a pair of soft pajama shorts and an oversized sweater, one of his own that he’d given me after we first started dating. He unbuttoned the button-up shirt I’d been wearing, shrugging it off my shoulders and slipping the sweater over my chest, leaving a soft kiss right on the base of my neck as he did so. 

“Can you stand up for me honey?” 

His voice sounded soft, and I was already starting to let my mind wander again. I knew he could tell; he wasn’t trying to make any kind of further conversation, just letting me process the events of the day in whatever way I could. 

Spoiler alert: it was not going well. 

I stood up off the bed, letting Spencer help me undress the rest of the way and change into shorts. Once I had, I finally climbed into bed, allowing the warm comforter to envelop me as Spencer quickly slipped off his shirt and dress pants, grabbing the light brown sweatshirt and grey sweats he’d left here and climbing into bed next to me.

“Are you ok with me holding you?”

I nodded again, and I felt him immediately wrap his arms around me, pulling me close to him. I could feel his chest rising and falling against my back, and one of his hands ran lightly through my cropped hair as he pressed another light kiss on my jaw. He peppered my upper body with soft kisses, continuing to run his hand through my hair, and I felt my eyes starting to get heavy. I blessed him for giving me something to think about besides today’s case, and I kept my conscious thoughts focused on him as the gentle touches quickly lulled me off to sleep.

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You know, it’s really not fun to wake up screaming. 

“Please. Please stop just put the gun down please -”

“Caelan! Baby - Caelan wake up!”

Spencer’s voice jolted me out of my sleep, but it wasn’t much relief. I woke up in a cold sweat, immediately feeling a familiar nausea gnawing at my stomach. I wasn’t sure if I was going to cry or throw up, I was still trying to comprehend what was real and what was solely from my nightmare. 

The only problem was that the nightmare was spawned from reality. 

“Hey,” I heard Spencer talk, but it was distant as I tried to bring myself back to reality. “Baby, look at me.”

I turned to face him, and he gently placed his hands on my arms to stop my body from shaking, trying to ground me. He reached one hand up, brushing away tears I hadn’t even realized I was crying, whispering soft reassurances to me as I got my bearings. 

“Caelan, you’re at your apartment. You’re safe - I’m here. You’re safe with me.”

I nodded, slowly processing his words as I blinked in the dim lighting. I knew Spencer didn’t like the dark, so the bathroom light had been left on with the door cracked, providing just enough light that I could see his face as he held my arms still in his grasp. 

“You had a nightmare. Based on what you were shouting before you woke up, I’m assuming that you were relieving what happened in the field today. It’s not surprising, I mean, the same thing happened to me; usually it helps if you just -”

He went on another one of his tangents, his voice helping to calm me down as I sucked in deep breaths, bringing my heart rate back down to normal. The panic had mostly subsided, being followed quickly by a crushing wave of grief. 

“Spencer…” His name was all that I could say as I practically fell into him, prompting him to move his hands to hold me in a tight embrace, knowing I was less erratic now. I clung to his shirt, letting all of the emotions I’d been struggling to process go as he held me steady.

“It’s ok,” He whispered as I sobbed in his arms. “You’re ok. I’ve got you.”

“I should’ve stopped him, Spencer - I could’ve stopped him! Before he - he -”

“I know babe,” He held me a bit tighter, “But you can’t blame yourself for what happened to that girl.”

“She was innocent! And I just stood there and watched her die!”

“Caelan, there was nothing you could’ve done that would’ve stopped him. He was a devolving iradomaniac, he would’ve shot her no matter what you said.”

“I could’ve knocked the gun out of his hand! Or shot him! Or -”

“Honey, listen,” He pulled back from the hug, cupping my face with his hands, “You cannot do that to yourself. You’re going to make yourself crazy if you go down that spiral. This was not your fault, understand?”

I sniffled, nodding as he pulled me close to his chest again, letting me bury my face in his sweatshirt. Even after being at my house, the smell of his cologne still permeated his clothes, and it made my heart swell. 

“I love you so much baby, you know that?” He pressed a soft kiss to the top of my head. 

“I love you too.”

He wiped the tears from my ears, and we sat together, holding each other close as the sun came up on a new day. 

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #reid #dr reid #dr spencer reid #fanfiction #fanfic writer #writing #fanfic #nonbinary mc #spencer reid hurt/comfort #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x nb!mc #spencer reid x nonbinary mc #oneshot request #criminal minds hurt/comfort #criminal minds fluff #tw: nightmares #tw: minor violence #asexual mc

[beatleszeppelin]

If I asked you to stay, would you?

Summary: After a tough case, Reid stays home from work. You have to check on him. He looks sick, so you take him to the doctor, and it’s your job to take care of him.

Category: Sick Fic

Warnings/Includes: First couple paragraphs are sad criminal minds things, but feel free to skip that, and mention of puke

Word count: 4k

Written in (gender neutral) second person.

The piercing cold, and slight drizzle falling out of the dark sky around, adding insult to injury. Spirits were low, as rain washed a child's blood from the dirt. The case had not gone ideally; two lives lost, and the team just had to walk away.

 A somber walk back to the cars freezing water hitting, stinging his face. Reid’s nose was red, clothes and hair sopping wet, freezing. He got to the back seat of the car, he pulled his knees up, and let his head fall onto his hands. Morgan and JJ waited outside the car, giving the kid a minute alone. 

The drive back was quiet, JJ glanced back ever so often hoping Reid had fallen asleep, but every time she’d look back she would see his head pressed against the window, eyes darting with every opposing car. The street lights passed over, illuminating his face, and a shine lingering in his eyes. She’d put a comforting hand on Reid’s knee, like a mother would on a long car ride.

In damp clothes he finished his reports, and finally left the office at two. 

He entered the subway tunnels, light coming out as a path marker. The eerie feeling that comes with two a.m. is in the lingering, on the streets, in tiled subway tunnels, and definitely present in anything the moonlight touches. There is a surprising amount of people on the subway for being so early. A man in the corner, held a bag with paper towels in it. A little farther along was an old bag lady. Finding someone normal to sit near was going to be too much to ask for, until he saw a woman, sleeping and seemingly destitute, a baby squirming on her lap. He waved. And she returned it.

So he sat. He was talking to her, and playing with her. Doing magic has always gotten him far with kids, except when he was one. She squealed as he pulled a coin from behind her ear and he laughed along. She laughed at the look of him smiling, and when he leaned in to make funny faces at her, her giggle turned into a cough. He patted her back a little bit, to quiet her barking cough, trying to not wake the baby’s mother. If you’re tired enough to fall asleep on those plastic seats, then any sleep you could get must be a blessing.

His stop neared, and he pulled 20 dollars from his wallet and slipped it into the woman's purse. He also shook her shoulder to wake her up, his conscience wouldn’t allow him to leave the baby unattended.

“Sorry for waking you, I just thought…” He said nervously, and awkwardly smiled and waved goodbye to the baby.

“Thank you,” she whispered. And she started to pat the back of her daughter.

He got off the metro happy, and walked the rest of the way to his apartment, the yellow glowing street lights making the falling rain sparkle as it fell to the earth.

He got home and wanted to get some sleep before he had to get up and go to work at nine. He didn’t want to shower and change, he could do that in the morning. He threw a soft blanket across the couch. He sat down, and kicked his converses off of his heels. He laid down, wet hair hitting the pillow. 

***

You walked up the stairs to his apartment. You have twenty minutes until your lunch break is over, but when Garcia told you to check on Reid you knew you had to.  He has a tendency to shut everyone out; say he’s fine when he’s actually far from. He would say he’s fine until he literally exploded. 

You walked past apartment #19, #20, past an empty coffee cup on the floor, #21, then you ran back, picked up the coffee cup, and threw it away at the end of the hall. Apartment #23, you knocked. “Hey Reid, you there?” You tried knocking harder. “Hey kid let me in!” You were about to pound the door down like you were the cops, but you heard a click. Reid unlocked the door, and squinted at you.

“Why,” he cleared his throat a little, “Why are you here?” 

“Hi, it’s 1 in the afternoon, you didn’t show up to work today, and apparently you guys 

had a particularly bad case last night.”

“It’s one?” he said walking back into his apartment, to go find a clock.

You walked in, and straight to his kitchen, to wash your hands after touching that coffee cup. 

“You didn’t purposely not come in today?” 

“No, you’re insistent knocking woke me up.”

“So, you’re wearing your clothes from yesterday?”

“Yeah, I’d gotten home late last night, or actually early this morning, I guess.”

“Are you feeling okay?” You looked at his hair that was sweaty and stuck to his forehead.

“Kinda tired, I guess, but I’m fine.” He said staring off, trying to focus on how he actually felt.

“Here let me feel your forehead.” You reached up and pressed your hand to his face. You couldn’t tell, because you had just washed your hands rendering them cold. You ran your hand through his hair, and kissed his forehead. It was warm. His face turned red, and it came in splotches.

“I think you’re a bit warm. Would you like to try to get to the doctor before they close walk-ins?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“Then I’m going to go back to the library. I hope you find a good excuse for not going to work today,”  You said, but couldn’t make a move for the door.

“If I don’t go, will you leave?” He asked, raising his eyebrows.

“You look really red, your face felt pretty warm, you slept in your wet clothes last night, and you may try to mask the fact that chills have been making you vibrate in front of me, but there is no way your not sick, no matter how many times you tell me you’re fine.”

“Okay, but I am fine.” He said, arms crossed, before heading to his bedroom to get dressed.

You waited in his apartment, absentmindedly flipped through some of his books. There were stacks of books everywhere; every spot you could fit a book, there was one. Two stacks of books were towered on his coffee table. On top of one was The Bell Jar by Silvia Plath, you hadn’t read it since high school, but you remember it being forward, and a bit unnerving.

Reid’s door opened, startling you. He walked out wearing a striped shirt and a sweater, with his signature mismatched socks and Converse. He looked comfortable, and very childlike.

“Are you ready?” You asked him.

“Yeah, I’ll grab my keys.”

“You drive?” You ask, never having seen him drive, you just assumed he didn’t or didn’t know how. How could you assume there was something that Dr. Spencer Reid didn’t know how to do.

You followed him down stairs to the parking garage, to a 65’ Volvo. “This is your car?” You asked.

“Yeah?”

“It’s so cool, I did not picture you driving something like this.” You didn’t picture him driving a cool older car, but you also didn’t picture him wearing mismatched socks, or dressing up for Halloween every year without fail. At this point nothing he did would surprise you.

“You didn’t picture me driving something cool? So, you don’t think I’m cool?”

“Well now I think you're cool, I mean after seeing this car.”

He pressed the volume button to turn on the radio, Tchaikovsky, the universe is restored. It was a ten minute-ish drive to the doctors. He signed in at the front desk, and you went to sit down. There were two seats under a window that you chose. The dark green vinyl was hot from the sun, but it was the only two isolated seats that you could see, other than the two girls that had the seats leaning on the wall. One of the girls had her hand under the other's skirt, and were kissing, very passionately. Hope one of them isn’t sick. You picked up one of the magazines next to you to avert your eyes. Home decorating, not the best option, but the bright colors and Pinterest mom’s will definitely keep you occupied.

Reid walked over to you and sat down, you could see him looking at the girls in the corner, and his face had bright red splotches on his cheeks. “Hey, are you into this?”

“What? No!” he said in a high pitched voice, like that of one of the chipmunks in Alvin and the Chipmunks. “Then why is your face bright red?”

“Maybe because the seats under the window are hot, and you shouldn’t be touching those magazines. They are one of the grossest things in here. Actually, the pen used at the front desk is, it has 46000 times more germs than the average toilet seat. That’s why I bring my own.”

You set the magazine down. “Hey is your face warm, you're still bright red?”

He looked over at you, shrugged at you and did his little awkward smile, and looked back down at the ground, head resting on his hands, elbows resting on his knees.

“Spencer, Spencer Reid!” A woman yelled from the doorway. 

Reid smiled and waved as he stood up.

“Wait, do I come in with you, or should I stay out here and see if I can join a thruple with those two?” He grabbed your wrist, seeing as to not touch your contaminated magazine hand, and helped you up to follow him in.

You guys walked back and the NP asked him to take his shoes off to step on the scale, he stepped up, a lime green sock and one purple striped sock now showing. “153 pounds,” the nurse said.

“Now stand over here so we can get your height,” You picked up his shoes for him, as she guided you across the hall to mark his height. He stood, back against the wall, “Okay, stand up straight.” He rolled his shoulders back and tilted his chin up. “6 foot 1 and ¼ inches”.

You passed his shoes back to him, following the nurse to one of the rooms in the back. You got to sit in one of the chairs that mom’s would sit in and talk for their kids. He hopped up on the bench, with a crinkle of the paper.

“The doctor will be in shortly,” she said, right before the nurse left the room.

Reid scooted back against the wall, letting his head fall back. You looked over at him, his face still looking flush, and his eyes were closed as he sat there. 

A knock on the door interrupted your observation, but made Reid sit up, attention now focused on the man. “Hi, I’m Dr. Bradman. What brings you in today?”

“I don’t…” Reid said looking over to you.

“His face has been a bit flushed, and he may have a low fever,” You said for him. “Oh, and he was out in the rain and cold last night, I don’t know if that would do anything.”

Reid piped up to say “Actually, being in the rain and cold doesn’t affect whether you will get sick or not. Being exhausted, stressed, under emotional duress, and having allergies with symptoms pertaining to nose and throat are the main reasons people get sick. Other than catching if from someone who is contagious.”

“Hey, that’s my line,” The doctor said, sitting down on a chair with wheels. 

Reid awkwardly smiled, looking down at his hands.

The doctor took Reid’s temperature, asked him a couple questions, and left for a couple minutes. 

You and Spencer sat in the room for a couple moments in silence, he was looking sicker by the moment. And after a while of silence, his head resting on the wall, eyes shut, the doctor walked back in.

“It looks like you are sick, your temperature was raised a bit, and the redness on your nose and cheeks is a common symptom of sixth disease.”

“Wait, that’s roseola, right?” You asked.

“No, that’s only for children under the age of three.” Reid said, slightly perplexed.

“Well yes, but it can occasionally affect adults who’ve never contracted it as a child.”

Reid’s shoulders dropped, “How long will it last?”

“It should clear up in the next three to five days.”

“Okay.”

“You can take medicine to reduce the fever, and stay hydrated.”

You two left the office, but not without teasing him on the way out. “I once babysat a kid that had sixth disease. He was up all night crying, do you need me to babysit you?”

“No! Just because I have a baby disease doesn’t mean I’m a baby” He crossed his arms on the walk back to the car.

“Do you want me to drive, so you can get some rest?” You asked, holding a hand out for his keys.

“Is this another joke?” He pushed his eyebrows together, and cocked his head slightly.

“No; no it’s not.”

“Can you drive a stick?” 

“Uh yeah, actually. I had a truck that was manual in high school.”

He gave an impressed nod and passed his keys over.

On the way home he laid his head against the cool glass of the window. His breath, making water bead up and fall. You walked him up to his apartment, but before you left you wanted to make sure he’d be okay.

“Do you have a thermometer? I just want to see what your temperature is before I leave you.” 

He walked away to his bathroom and came back with a thermometer sticking out of the side of his mouth. He was pouting, you don’t know if it was because you made him check his temperature or if he just felt sick. You pulled the stick out of his mouth after hearing the beep.

“100.3” You put your hands on his face, burning. “Do you want me to stay here for a little bit?”

“You don’t have to…” He said and raised his shoulders to shrug. “I know I don’t have to, but do you want me to? It would be no trouble.” You said walking to his kitchen to wash the thermometer.

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

“I would like you to stay, please.”

“Okay, why don’t you go to bed and try to rest, and I’ll run to the store and get some food for dinner.”

He nodded, “How long will you be gone?” Reid’s voice broke.

“Not too long, I should be back before you wake up, but if you need me just call me.”

“M’kay.”

You walked out of his apartment, down the stairs, running your fingers across the banister. Should you grab some clothes in case you need to spend the night? Yeah, might as well run home and get the car before going to the grocery store.

At the store you pick up some soup, popcorn to eat while watching a movie, cough medicine, ibuprofen (for the fever), and you couldn’t find any Gatorade, so you bought Pedialyte (I mean it’s the same stuff, and this is a baby disease). You also got a few other things you weren’t sure he had, and headed back.

When you twisted the key into the lock is when you started to hear some slight coughing and some whines in between. So, you put the soup on the stove, and went in to check on him. His face was covered in little red spots that trailed down into his shirt; he was asleep and his hands were balled up into fists by his face. Sweat stuck his bangs to his face, and every cough made him subconsciously whimper. 

Reid was asleep in front of you, looking like a baby. If people didn’t think he was a baby before, if only they saw him now. It’s hard not being able to help him, other than just letting him sleep, but when he wakes up he’ll feel a whole lot worse, so why not prolong the contentment here. 

You decided to go tend to the food, while he slept. In a few minutes though, you heard him get up out of bed and a door slam. You walked over to his couch, leaning on the arm rest waiting for him to come out. A couple moments went by and you were still standing there. If he came out now, it would be like you were just standing there staring at his door waiting for him, which is exactly what you are doing. You went around the couch and sat down, moving the pillows from how he had slept on them that morning. You picked up a book from the top of one stack, and opened it, but his door swung open. Reid stood there, in the doorframe, the sleeves of his shirt pulled down over his hands, his head hung low, and tear streaks down his face. His voice wobbled when he said “I threw up.”

“Are you okay, what do you need?” You asked, looking toward the giant toddler.

“I don’t know,” he whispered, and wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

“Let me check your fever.”

He nodded. You walked over to the kitchen to where you had left the thermometer, and while you’re in there you turn the heat off of the soup. You don’t think he wants it right now.

He puts the thermometer in his mouth and stares at you with puppy dog eyes until it beeps. He takes it out and hands it to you without reading it. “102.4!” You rush over to get some medicine, and a mug to put water in. “Here take this, baby. You must be miserable.”

He closed his eyes and gave a labored smile. Taking the medicine made him wince as he swallowed.

“Why don’t I run you a cool bath, to see if we can get your fever down faster?”

“‘Kay,” he started walking back to his room, stopping to brace himself on the wall.

You wrapped your arm around him, guiding him to his bathroom. You two stood awkwardly for a couple seconds not knowing what the first move was gonna be, but you sat him down on the toilet to wait for the water to fill. You ran the bath with lukewarm water, not hot, but not uncomfortably cold. Reid sat on his toilet, knees hugged to his chest, and his face and body were sweaty. 

You turned off the tap and looked at him quizzically. Reid quickly stood up to usher you out, but got a head rush and had to lean against a wall. You walked to the doorway and waited for his next move. He tried taking his shirt off, but only got one arm out; on the second arm his wrist got stuck on the sleeve. He flailed his arm for a second, before giving up and frustratedly slumping against the wall. You walked over to him, pulled his shirt over his head, and helped pick him up. You put your arms around his waist and pulled him up with little to no help from him. You two stood there for a second, holding Spencer; all of his weight leaned into you as you held him. He was shaking.

You helped him sit on the edge of the tub, and asked “How do we do this?”

“If I asked you to stay, would you?” He looked up at you with his big brown eyes.

“Absolutely.”

You helped wiggle him out of his pajama pants, and left him sitting in hot pink briefs. Then, turning around, you heard a little splash of him kicking his legs over, and then a slosh of water displacement.

“Okay, you’re good,” he whispered.

You turned back around and bent down next to the tub. He leaned his head on the edge of the bathtub and you folded up a hand towel and shoved it under for him to use as a pillow. You scooted back, and reached for a washcloth off of his counter. A small stack of them fell on top of you. You picked one up, that hadn’t touched the ground, and ran it under some cold water. After squeezing it out, you sat on the back of the tub, and dabbed it across Spencer’s forehead. He leaned his head against your thigh and looked up at you. You looked down at him, “If I knew I was staying here, I’d have run you a bubble bath.”

He smiled; you could tell his fever was going down a bit. Seeing him without clothes on, showed you just how much of his body was covered in little red splotches. They ran from his cheeks, down his chest, and stopped a little lower than his protruding hip bones. 

A few moments of you silently dabbing his face was interrupted by a coughing attack, leaving Spence shaking a bit. 

“Laying back may not be the best thing for a cough, why don’t we finish up in here so we can sit on the couch, maybe watch a movie or something?”

He nodded.

“Do you want me to wash your hair, it’s wet already from the washcloth,” you handed him the washcloth, and picked up the mug he drank water out of earlier.

“Yes please.” He placed the washcloth over his eyes and you dunked the mug in his bath water. You poured it over his head as he leaned back.

“Where’s your shampoo?”

He leaned forward and handed you the bottle. Johnson’s cotton touch 2 in 1 shampoo and body wash.

“You use 2 in 1 baby shampoo?” 

“It’s for sensitive skin.”

“It’s for babies.”

“If it’s good enough for them, it’s good enough for me.”

“Can we at least buy you some conditioner some time?” You asked, giving him a mohawk with baby soap.

“Sure,” He said, defeated.

You pour the cup over his head again, rinsing his hair clean of soap. You handed him his towel from behind the door, and walked out, leaving the door open a little and sitting on his bed in the next room in case he needed you. In a minute he walked out in pajama pants with little cowboys on them, and a robe. 

You got up, went to his bathroom and brought out a comb. “Sit,” You scolded.

He sat on the edge of his bed, you behind him brushing his hair.

Once you were satisfied with the style, you linked arms with him and went out to the living room. He started moving the books and things off of his coffee table, while you went to go make popcorn. 

You came back with a box of saltines, a bowl of popcorn, and a bottle of pedialyte with a straw in it.

“Is this another joke?” he asked reading the label.

“No, they were out of the other stuff.”

You sat down, handing him the box of crackers. His laptop was open on the coffee table, and he threw a blanket across the both of you to share. 

“What are we going to watch?”

“Star Trek” he said and pressed the spacebar to play it.

“You’ll like it,” he said and put his head on your shoulder. “Hey, thanks for staying with me today.” 

“It’s no problem, I like hanging out with you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, and eventually we will need to buy you some conditioner.”

“It’s a date,” he said and snuggled closer to you.

You played with his hair until he fell asleep on your lap, leaving you watching Star Trek all night, but you do like it now.

#vicficwriterchallenge #Criminal Minds #reid x reader #spencer reid #dr. reid #spencer reid fanfiction #reid sick fic #criminal minds fanfic

[stargirlrchive]

Home - Spencer Reid

masterlist ; request are open

author’s note: hi this is my first fic in over a year, crazy! and my first criminal minds/Spencer Reid fic so be nice to me <3 anyways hope you enjoy this, it was so fun to write. if you like Harry Potter my masterlist is linked above! i hate the title, can’t think of anything else though

disclaimer(s): kissing/making out, slightly nsfw but not really, curse words, angst? bold & italics are memories, GIF NOT MINE

pairing: spencer reid x reader

word count: 3,180

Whether people choose to believe it, Spencer was always angry and sad, but mainly angry. Angry that he was so stubborn and that his life slipped past him, angry about the fact that he went home to an empty apartment, angry that he was lonely.

A dark and heavy presence looming over him as he realized that it was about to be a year that he had broken up with you and he still couldn’t even turn to face your side of the bed. Because even if you never officially moved in with each other, that side was yours. From the very first night you had stayed over he knew no one would be able to take it. And that was true, no one had. It was just empty now.

It was nearing 3 am and he had been tossing and turning, the king sized bed feeling a lot smaller and crowded and he felt as if he was drowning. He threw the blankets off and picked out clothes, he needed a shower. A fresh, stress-relieving shower. So he trudged on into his bathroom, turning the water and waiting for it to adjust to the temperature he liked.

The second his eyes closed and the water hit him, your face, perfectly vivid in his mind appeared. Red rimmed puffy eyes, dark pink cheeks and bitten lips. His eidetic memory being both a blessing and a curse. He swore under his breath as he tried to get that very vivid image from his brain. He had not been able to even look at anyone else romantically much less be with them physically. So he couldn’t get all those images out of his brain. Not that he’d ever be able to, he thinks that even without his eidetic memory he would never be able to forget how you looked, how you felt.

His hand went out and turned the water even colder, shivering as the cold water hit his back. The memory left his mind quickly as he focused on his teeth clanking together. He just needed to cool off.

He left the shower soon after that, and changed into his clothes. Dark grey sweats and a black hoodie. He was drumming his fingers against the counter top as he waited for the water to finish boiling. He hated how there wasn’t a corner in his apartment that you didn’t mark, that wasn’t filled with your presence. He couldn’t seem to escape you.

You laughed quietly as Spencer fixed himself between your legs, arms wrapping around your waist as he laid his head on your shoulder. You were sure his neck was hurting, even with you sitting on the counter top he was so much taller than you. “Your neck is going to hurt, Spence.”

Your fingers began to thread through his hair, trying to untangle his curls. They slowly moved down to his neck, rubbing small circles. He hummed in appreciation and you felt his lashes flutter against your neck and you knew his eyes closed. “Why don’t you go to bed?”

“I was gone for over a week, did you not miss me?”

He was pouting and it made a small giggle escape from your throat and you felt him smile. “Of course I missed you, Dr. Reid.”

“Mmm.” He mumbled happily at the nickname.

You tugged at his hair softly to pick his head up, you wanted to stare at him for a little bit.

He picked his head up, his golden brown eyes shining darker than normal, his eyes looking like dry autumn leaves and you felt a warmth flow through you. “You know I love you right?”

He pressed his lips to yours softly in response, his lips were so soft and you pulled him closer. Your fingers draping themselves around his neck and making sure to press yourself as much into him as you could. His tongue slowly pried your lips open and danced along with yours. The kiss was heating up but remaining so sweet. You were the first to pull away, taking in a long breath of air, “I love you too.” He pressed another small kiss to your lips, recounting everything he could tell you about the last case he was on.

He picked the coffee mug, and made his coffee, grabbing his keys and slipping on some running shoes. He knew where he was going and he knew he shouldn’t, he really shouldn’t. He kept looking over his shoulder, it was only 4 in the morning and it was still dark out. Why the hell was he doing this?

He had made it to the apartment complex and he wondered if the code had changed, but he realized how incredibly creepy that was. Although his fingers itched to punch them in as the four digit code popped into his brain.

Then before he could stop himself he pulled out his phone and he was calling you. He felt like throwing up, what the hell was he thinking? He didn’t even know if this was still your number, and it was 4 in the fucking morning. Of course you weren’t going to answer. He was going to hang up before he could leave a voicemail but then a groggy “Hello?” came from the other side of the line and he stopped breathing.

There was a pause before a quiet “Spencer?”

He cleared his throat before nodding, then quickly realizing you were speaking on the phone, “Yeah-uh yes. Hi.”

He wanted to bash his head into the wall beside him, he is getting to talk to you after nearly a year, one of the worst of his life, and all he says is ‘Hi?’

“You do realize it’s 4 in the morning right?”

He looked up to where he knew your apartment to be and could see what he knew to be your bedroom’s light turn on, so you were still living here.

“Yes, I-Um I was just around the neighborhood and I wanted to say hi.”

He heard you laugh quietly and his stomach dropped, you didn’t sound angry, which he expected you to be.

“You were in the neighborhood? What are you doing driving around this late? Or early should I say.”

He could lie, so easily lie and say they just got off a case and this was the way to get home, which you knew to be true, or he could tell the truth. He went with the latter, “I’m walking actually, I just couldn’t sleep and decided to take a walk and before I knew it I was outside of your apartment.”

He heard a sharp intake of breath and since he was looking up, he saw when you peaked through the window. “But I should go- I shouldn’t have even come in the first place. I-I’m sorry. I have no right to just walk back into your life after a year. I’m sure whoever you’re with right now wouldn’t like it.”

“Whoever I’m with?” Your voice gave off how utterly confused you were and Spencer felt like crying. Because he knew he shouldn’t have but a small part of him hoped you were single, hoped that you were waiting for him. He was so utterly selfish because he couldn’t bare the thought of you with someone else. He wanted to know you were still his, even after all this time.

“Spencer I’m not with anyone, and you can come up. If you want?”

Your voice was so timid his heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest. “Can I please?”

“You remember the code?”

You both started laughing because of course he did, of course he fucking remembered the code, the floor, the apartment number. “I’ll be up in a few.”

Spencer hung up and nervously made his way up, walking slowly to calm the rapid beating of his heart, he could hear it ringing in his ears and feel the pulsing in his neck. He had no idea what to expect but this was the first time he was so utterly happy since the last time he was with you that he didn’t care, he just missed you.

You on the other hand had absolutely no time to calm your rapidly beating heart. You quickly slipped out of the large shirt you were wearing. It was definitely not because it was your ex-boyfriends who was currently making his way up to your apartment. You rummaged through your drawers and slipped on a matching pajama set you had and let your hair down, running your fingers through it to get rid of the look of it being up for a few hours. You brushed your teeth quickly, having just done it a few hours ago. You admired yourself in the mirror, you cleaned up good. You only had a second to yourself before there was a soft knock on your front door.

You felt dizzy, but in a good way. When you opened the door you tried your hardest not to look Spencer up in down, but the year apart had changed him. You bit down on your lip and gave up the pretense of checking him out. Because he didn’t, so why shouldn’t you?

You took in the stubble, the curls, the way he filled out the hoodie he was in, you could tell there was more muscle to him. He looked healthy, he looked good. Despite the dark circles under his eyes.

Spencer had to resist with everything in him to not wrap you up in his arms. So he just admired you from where he was standing outside. You were just like he remembered, only visible difference was that your hair was longer, from what he could tell it reached your lower back. He forced his eyes to remain on your face after the first time his eyes took all of you in.

He sent you a smile and you sent him one back, he felt his stomach drop and twist all at the same time. He felt breathless.

You moved from the door, “Come in.”

He walked in and awkwardly stood by your couch, he didn’t know if to sit or stand. He didn’t know if he was going to stay long or just be here for a few mins. He hated that he didn’t know how to act in your home when before he’d come back from a case and stay over even when you weren’t home.

You sat down and motioned for him to follow, which he did. You were drumming your fingers against your thigh as you nervously looked anywhere but him. Things were never this awkward between the two of you. He wished for things to go back to normal, whatever your normal was. It was strange having a boyfriend who worked for the FBI, things were never set in stone. That was why Spencer had been contemplating ending your relationship. He never had time, that was always his excuse. His career came before everything, even you. How he wished he had realized that your relationship was the only thing that centered and kept him grounded from all the chaos he saw everyday.

You had been waiting for over two hours. The restaurant was getting ready to close and the looks of sympathy from strangers made it so much worse. You were stood up, and by your boyfriend of two years. You felt the tears well up in your eyes as you realized he wasn’t showing up. You packed your bag and paid for the two glasses of wine you had drank. Wrapping your coat around as you walked through the chilly streets of Quantico, Virginia.

This had been happening so much lately you weren’t even sure why you were surprised, but it was your anniversary, and reservations to your favorite restaurant that Spencer himself had made. You decided to walk back to your apartment instead of taking a taxi, you needed to clear your head. Your phone began to ring and you let the first few tears actually slip down your cheeks. Picking it up to see that it was Spencer you didn’t have it in you to speak to him, he had hurt you far too much this time so you didn’t answer.

After 20 minutes your phone had not stopped buzzing so you decided to pick it up, you were growing frustrated.

“Hello?”

“Babe, where are you?”

You laughed quietly, he didn’t even remember. After he heard you laugh, one that was sarcastic and so out of character he had a sinking feeling he messed up. He looked at the calendar and the apologies instantly began to spill from his lips, how the hell did he manage to forget this?

“Spencer just leave me alone.”

Your voice cracked and he heard you sniffling, “Where are you so I can go get you?”

You didn’t answer his question, instead asking one of your own, “Where are you?”

“Your apartment.”

“Well now I’m not going there. Just leave and let me be alone.”

And with that the call ended and as much as he called you wouldn't answer.

After several hours of having Garcia track your phone, with no success because you had turned it off at one point there was still nothing.

Spencer’s eyes were raw from rubbing at them, he was trying his best not to cry in front of Garcia and Derek.

“I got something! Phone was just turned on and it looks like it’s a bar.”

“Have your phone ready.”

But a call didn’t come through, which they had assumed it was if the phone was turned on. After a few minutes Penelope wrote the address down and handed it over to Spencer, “Come on, I’ll take you.”

After that the night was almost a blur, Penelope helped Spencer take you back home.

Once you were back at your apartment and asleep, Spencer couldn’t stomach the thought of hurting you again. He kept doing it and he wasn’t sure how to stop it. He didn’t think you deserved that and thought that this would be easier. It wasn’t.

He wrote you a letter, letting you know it wasn’t working out and he just felt like your lives were far too busy and you were drifting apart. He asked you not to call, and you didn’t.

He really hoped you would have. But he couldn’t blame you, breaking up with someone over a letter? How cowardly. He thought you hated him.

“Earth to Spencer.”

He blinked a few times before he focused on you, you were smiling at him and he sent you one back, his cheeks burning. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine, I know you have a million thoughts running through that brain of yours every 10 seconds.”

Even now she was so understanding, even with how he ended things she excused the fact he wasn’t listening, was not present in the conversation.

“But do you want any coffee? I’m going to make myself some.”

He nodded and followed you into the kitchen, sitting on one of the highchairs of the island, his feet still touching the ground.

“I swear you’ve gotten taller.”

Your laugh rang through his ears and he swore it was the sweetest symphony he had ever heard, a dopey, lazy smile littered his features. He could listen to you all day.

“Maybe you just got shorter.”

“Touché Doctor.”

He wasn’t sure if it was wishful thinking, but things seemed so normal, so at peace and at ease. You made the coffee for the two of you. You still remembered just how he liked it. He was never able to get it perfect, but you did.

“How has work been?”

He grimaced slightly, he didn’t know if it was a loaded question but with the look of pure honesty on your face, he knew you genuinely cared.

“Busy, like always. Think I just learned to prioritize certain things better and I make sure to give myself time off every now and then.”

There was hum in response to let him know you were listening. So he kept talking about different things that he had done throughout the year.

You couldn’t keep the smile from your face, even after he stopped talking.

“You know your eyes get lighter when you talk about things that excite you?”

His cheeks burned, “You’ve told me that before.”

“Still very true.”

Hours passed and you just caught up, eventually the topic of the breakup came up, it was inevitable. The sun was peeking through the blinds and you looked so sleepy, eyes droopy but you were fighting it. He knew you didn’t want him to leave and he didn’t either.

“You should get some rest.”

You rubbed your eyes tiredly, “I’m not tired.”

He laughed quietly and he could see when you started contemplating asking him, you were biting on your lower lip, they were so red and he wanted to kiss you. So badly he felt his core burning, you were so close, he could feel your warmth but he wasn’t going to do it. He didn’t want to scare you off, he didn’t want to push you away again.

“Do you want to stay?”

You were peaking at him through your lashes, cheeks flushed and nervously playing with your shirt. He did not need to be asked twice. He was nodding his head so quickly we wondered how he didn’t get whiplash.

Your smile was beaming and you stood up, holding your hand out for him. His finger quickly tangled with yours and he knew. You both did. That everything was fine between you. He missed how your hand fit in his like a missing puzzle piece. When you both got into the room he could see where you were laying down, the side he slept on untouched and he wondered if you had the problem of not being able to sleep on his side as well. He didn’t ask. He just slipped his shoes off and climbed into your bed, both of you sinking into each other, fitting perfectly together. Your legs tangled together, your face tucked into his neck and his head resting on top of yours.

“I’ve missed you.”

You looked up at him and pressed a soft kiss against his jaw, “I’ve missed you too.”

Spencer’s nose rubbed against yours and your eyes fluttered shut. Both of you wondered if you could feel the butterflies in the pit of your stomach. His lips were ghosting over yours, so hesitant and also scared that this was fake. That he was going to wake up from a dream and you wouldn’t actually be there.

But your lips crashed into his and he knew he wasn’t dreaming. This was far too real, far too familiar to be fake. He clung to you tightly and everything came natural. The kiss was all teeth and tongue and angry and sad and so overjoyed. The quiet noise that left your throat not going unnoticed by him and he pulled you in closer. He was home.

taglist: @swellwriting @carolinesbookworld @theboywhocriedlupin @awfulmoons @lumos-barnes @fortisfiliae @finnofamerica @beskarjedi (let me know if you’d like to be added <3)

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x y/n

[moonflower-31]

I Won’t Forget You - Spencer Reid x Reader

Masterlist 

Part 5 

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader 

Warnings: None, other than some yelling and negative self talk. 

Tags: @dra-reid, @eevee0722, @ceeellewrites, @anotherr-fine-mess, @ssahoodrathotchner 

~~~~~~~~~ 

Ever feel like the world just hates you? That everything around you is crumbling? Yeah. That's what you felt right about now. 

"Mother?" 

"Y/N I have had it with these shenanigans of yours! You promised your father you'd take over the family business! We raised you for this!" The woman scolded, storming up to you and getting into your face. 

"H-hey, leave her alone." Spencer spoke up, pushing your mother away from you slightly. The woman then grasped his wrist torturously, yanking him forward. 

"You! I don't know what you see in my stupid daughter, but you need to leave her alone! She has a life, a future! A fiancé! She doesn't have time for you!" Your mother screeched. You felt the blood in your veins boil almost instantly. You had to physically restrain yourself from hurting the woman who gave birth to you. 

"You don't know me, Mother! You never have! I never wanted the damn business! It's what you and dad wanted! Me? This is what I wanted. For years! But no. No, I just have to take the business." You growl, shoving your mother off of Spencer. He didn't deserve to be in the middle of this. 

"What you wanted? Pah! This isn't about what you want! It's never been about what you want! God you're such a selfish child! Always have been! And yet here I thought Peter was a good fit for you-" 

"A good fit?! Mother do you know the contents of those creepy-ass letters he sent me? If I was in the BAU back then, I would have sent these to my director to get him arrested for harassment!" You seethed, your fists clenched at your sides. 

"Oh boo hoo! You have an admirer! He was set to marry you! Do you blame him for wanting you?! The children you two will produce will be the future of our company. And you will listen! You are coming with me back home and you will marry Peter Calvin! And you will finish business school to take over the company-" your mother reached out and grabbed your wrist instead, beginning to try and drag you out the door. You feel a sudden panic enter you, and before you can realize what you're doing, you have your mother pressed against the hard tile ground. 

"I said, NO." You hiss. "I changed my last name because of that bastard. I left home. I got my own schooling. I made a life for me. Not you. And I'm not about to give into your empty threats again." You have your face close to her ear, pulling at her arm. She grunts from underneath you, about to open her mouth and most likely make herself out to be the victim. 

But instead you pulled harder on her arm. "No. Don't you dare. Everyone in this room knows now how much of a bitch you are. Now, I'm going to let you up from this floor, and you are going to lose my number. I will only come around to see Arthur on his birthday and Christmas. He has my number. He can call me. I never want to speak to you or my father again, understand?" 

"You bitch… do you know what you're subjecting your brother to? What responsibility that you're wasting on him? You are a selfish, no good brat. He doesn't deserve the position. You were born to meet this purpose! Not him! He was an accident-" your mother began to snap, standing up once you let your foot off of her. 

"A happy one at that. He was the only solace I had through all of your lies and all of the pressures you put on me. I wish I could forget you. Forget you even exist. But unfortunately you do. But I will live like you don't, just to spite you." 

"Why you little bitch-!" Your mother screeched at you, beginning to make an attempt to lung at you. 

Then Spencer side stepped in front of you, glaring down at the woman who you called your mother. "I think it's time you leave. If I hadn't stepped in, we could have charged you with the assault of a federal agent. Do you know how many years in prison that is? Approximately 8 or more years, depending on the circumstance." Spencer practically spat, glaring harshly into your mother's e/c eyes. The only trait you shared with her. 

"You can't lie to me! She isn't even past being a secretary-!" Your mother insisted, attempting to shove Spencer away. However, he was an immovable force, despite your mother's unrelenting determination. 

"Actually, she just graduated from the academy, making her a federal agent. She works alongside my teammates at the BAU. And in my opinion she has done more good to this world than being the business woman you tried to make her." Spencer expressed, catching you off guard. Did he really feel that way? After only one case? You felt a thumping in your chest, proving your heart to be nervous. 

"But she's-" 

"A valuable member of our team. And I believe we would be sorely mistaken to not take her on as a full agent at the end of her shadowing period." Spencer interrupted, a slight smirk on his face. He crosses his arms, blocking your mother further from getting to you. 

"You-you-!" She growled, knowing she had lost. She snarled harshly under her breath, turning her hellfire-like gaze towards you. "This isn't over-" 

"Yes, it is, Margaret." You hurled back. 

And with that, your mother turned and stormed out of the building. 

It felt like a massive weight was lifted from your shoulders, making your legs feel numb. Spencer turned around and managed to catch you before you fell, letting you brace yourself against his arms. 

"Are you okay?" He asks. You sigh. Bless this man for being so selfless at a time like this. 

"Does it look like I'm alright? My controlling ass of a mother just tried to force me back to a life I hated." You snap, squeezing Spencer’s forearms to steady yourself. 

"S-sorry… I-I meant physically." 

"No, Spencer…" you sigh, shaking your head. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped. I just… it's a long story. And I didn't expect her to have been able to find me. I did enough hacking to be able to hide myself and my paper trails. At least from the people who used to know me. I'm fine, physically. But emotionally and mentally? That's a whole other story." You felt exhausted. It was like after a long and tiresome journey, the hero had to fight one last monster. 

"That's alright, I completely understand. Do… Do you want me to take you home? I don't think I'd trust you behind a wheel right now." Spencer lightly chuckled. You feel a gentle smile form and you look up at Spencer teasingly. 

"What? Is my amnesia really that bad, doc?" You tease. He rolled his eyes, a smile forming onto his face after seeing yours. 

"If I say yes, will you be a good girl and let me drive you home?" He asks. You feel your cheeks immediately brighten at his words. You had never been called a 'good girl'. Much less had you ever been called it by someone other than your parents. So why the hell did it make you feel certain things? Make you feel tingly? 

You give him a nod, unable to fathom just what the hell he just said to you. He smiled at you warmly, helping you to stand straight as he helped walk you to his car.

What the hell even was this day? This entire week? 

○●♡●○ 

"S-sorry it isn't much." Spencer apologized,  unlocking the door and holding it open for you. You smile at him and walk into the apartment. 

It wasn't massive, but it was damn sure fancier than the apartment you and your friends rented. It wasn't without color, but it wasn't overly decorated, like a bunch of rich apartments you'd seen on the way up the stairs. Let's just say some people didn't know how blinds worked. 

"'Isn't much'?" You asked in a scoff, looking around the apartment in a slight twirl. "Reid, it suits you. And you are more than 'isn't much'." You insist, stopping where you were standing. "Besides, it was you who insisted on taking me here instead of my own place."

"Spencer." 

"Hm?" You asked, confused by his sudden mention of his name. 

"You… can call me Spencer. It's only fair now." He added, his voice obviously full of nerves. You feel your heart melt just a little at his indication. You smile at him, happy that he trusted you enough already to let you call him by his first name. Even though you were so hesitant about sharing yours. 

Then that brought about a long, and awkward silence. This had not been how you planned on telling everyone your name. Especially Spencer. And now of course, your mother had to ruin it. 

"Look I-" you sigh, unable to finish your statement. You put your face in your hands and groan, gripping at the roots of your hair. You walk to Spencer’s couch and take a seat, hoping that you wouldn't produce anymore tears. 

Silence passes over the both of you, making it possible to hear the creaking of the floor as Spencer made his way to your side. 

"So… (Y/N), huh?" He asks, taking a seat beside you. 

"Yeah… my mother wanted to name me Gwenevere. But my grandfather was sick of the medieval English names and put his foot down. So they settled on (Y/N) instead." You explain, a slight smile curling on your face as you think of your grandfather. 

"Well… I think it's pretty. It suits you." He says, flashing one of his smiles at you. Yet again you feel the butterflies start to flutter around in your stomach, making you nervous to even speak. 

After a small moment of silence, you were about ready to just stand up and try to get comfortable. Try to sleep. But it seemed Spencer didn't get the memo. 

"(Y/N)... I…" he began. You swallowed a sigh, closing your eyes tightly as you braced yourself for this conversation. 

"It's okay. I get it. You're curious. I'm the 'Mystery Girl'. But there are some things I think you would be better off not involved in." You assure, laying a hand on Spencer’s shoulder.  

"Is there… anything I can know? I know it isn't my place but-" 

"Of course. Just… don't ask about Peter, okay? Or...what made me change my last name." You promise, giving him a half smile. 

"Thank you, (Y/N)." 

"Please, call me (Y/N/N). It feels better than (Y/N)." You admit, raising a hand and rubbing your neck. 

"(Y/N/N)..." he ponders for a moment. " I like it." He flashes a smile, making you giggle slightly. 

"I'm glad you do." You joke, finding you had moved impossibly closer to Spencer and his lap. You clear your throat and scoot a little away. "I...I'd like to get those questions done and over with. Make reliving everything willingly easier to get over with." You give him an unsure smile, looking down at your fidgeting hands. 

"Oh...heh, well…" Spencer too let out a nervous laugh before he began, trying to figure out what to even say. To ask. 

"What's your family's business? Why did you leave?" He asks. You take a deep breath and begin your reply. 

"It's been in my family for what feels like centuries. Really it was founded by my great-grandfather. It got started as an oil company, and then became a stocks and loans company. It's really boring. I never enjoyed looking over the statistics, or any of the graphs my father would try to get me to understand. I… I left for a multitude of reasons. But, one that I can tell you was my parents and their 'dream' for me to own the business. They wouldn't let me go to college unless I went for business. That's why I have the business minor. I had to put up a front, even if I was on multiple scholarships. I just feel bad I'm putting this all on Arthur. If I leave, they're going to try and groom him into taking on the company. Last time I saw him, he was barely old enough for high-school! " You exclaim, your nails now digging into your palms. 

Spencer immediately took your hands in his, making you stop clenching your fists so tightly. He rubbed his thumbs against your palms gently, encouraging you to continue if you needed. 

"Spencer-" you start, attempting to pull back your hands. He held on strong despite your attempt, shaking his head. "I thought you had a thing for germs-" 

"I do. But I can always wash my hands after this. You need this. And you were hurting yourself. If you need to talk, I'm here." He insists, squeezing just enough to make you feel it. 

"I'm sorry…" you exhale tiredly. "You didn't deserve to have to get involved today. She… she was always under the impression that I left for a boy. That I discarded everything that I 'wanted' for a city boy. And that my goal to work for the Bureau was a fever dream. A fib." 

"That does explain her behavior towards me. But still, she shouldn't have tried to drag you away like that." Spencer expressed, still gently rubbing the indents on your palms. You hadn't noticed it yet, but they had begun to bleed from how hard you were pressing.

"I know. But she's headstrong. Always has been. Once she's made up her mind, god help you if you try to change it." You chuckle, looking away from Spencer for a moment. 

"Sometimes…" you begin, getting Spencer to refocus his gaze on you and, in his opinion, your beautiful features. "I-I begin to think my mother is right. That I'm just some selfish brat who couldn't settle for all the 'good' she was given. That I was just hungry for more privilege than I had." 

Spencer furrows his eyebrows, shaking his head. "No. (Y/N), everything about that is complete bullshit and you know it. You belong on this team. It's where you want to be. There are many studies that show workers who feel a higher calling to their jobs are among the most content in the world. You deserve that, (Y/N)." 

You widen your eyes as each sentence came falling from Spencer’s mouth. Where did this come from? Not that you didn't enjoy this. No, it was the fact that no one had ever told you something remotely similar. With or without the statistics. No one had told you that you belonged. And that did wonders on your heart. 

You feel tears build up in the corners of your eyes, making the world begin to swim for a few brief moments until you blinked them away. 

Spencer reached up and wiped the two stray tears from your cheeks, smiling down at you. "I'm going to make some tea. Does chamomile work for you?" He asks, patting the couch behind you as he begins to get up. The smile you hadn't realized was on your face just grew brighter as you nodded. 

"Yeah… yeah that's fine. As long as you sit here with me. I… I don't want to fall asleep alone tonight." You begged, feeling a slight pang of embarrassment for having asked. 

"Of course, I'll head back down and get your go bag from my car." He assures, placing a steaming cup in front of you. It currently had a tea bag in it, but the smell was comforting already. 

You nod to him in understanding, watching as he went. Once the door was closed, you grabbed the cup and pulled your knees close to your chest. You blow gently on the steaming liquid, letting your mind wander. 

Before you could venture too far into your mind, your phone began to ring. You raised an eyebrow and pulled out your phone, answering with a hesitant "Hello?" 

"Hey yourself my queen! So, I was thinking, the rest of the girls and I have been wanting to go out on the bar scene. We were thinking in about a week. If we don't have any new cases overlap it. Wanna go?" Penelope rambled, obviously excited. You giggle slightly and smile a little.

"Sure, Pen. Is it gonna be a girls night?" You asked. 

"It can be! You want it to be a girls only night, then it'll be a girls only night! We'll talk all about Mr. Junior G Man. And your little crush~" 

"Pen-!" You playfully scold. 

"No take-backsies! Anyway… how are you? I heard what happened during the case. You couldn't have changed the outcome Sugar." She comforts, making you feel cared for for the second time that day. First Spencer and now Penelope. 

"I… I know that. It just hurts is all." You sigh. 

"I know. It hurts me to see all these pictures when I have to pick a case. Sometimes it's so hard to choose because I want to help them all." She confides. "Also, this is kind of unrelated but I love 'Pen' as a nickname. Keep it, please!" 

You finally find the strength to giggle again, smiling wider. "Will do. I should probably go though. I'm tired and I just want to get some sleep. I didn't sleep for four days. I think I deserve at least 9 hours." You snicker. 

"Yes ma'am! I'll call you again in the morning! Rest up my queen! Garcia out!" 

You close your phone and toss it onto the coffee table in front of you, and on top of the copy of Edgar Allen Poe's poems. 

You pick it up gently, moving your tea so as to not get any on the book. You then begin to look through it, finding a few that you enjoyed. 

About 5 minutes later, you hear the door open again, and the wooden floor creaks as you can hear Spencer walking towards you.

"You read poetry?" He asks. You turn your head and see he was very much go-bag-less. 

"Y-yeah. It-s something that has a different meaning every time I read it. It never gets boring." You answer. "Where's my go bag?" You ask. 

"W-well… I took a moment to see if you had anything to sleep in, but you didn't. So…" he paused, handing you an outfit from your go-bag. "I'll just let you borrow one of my shirts." 

Immediately warning lights flashed in your head. Fuck. Was this too soon? No, he was doing this out of kindness, not because he wanted a damn relationship. 

You took the outfit, grateful he had been kind enough to be sure you were comfortable and that you had clothes to change into. 

"No… I really shouldn't-" 

"It's no problem, promise. I have an extra blanket you can use too." He settles, not giving you time to even respond or think about it. 

You sigh, finally giving in and chuckling to yourself. You took a few sips of your tea, waiting for Spencer to return with whatever shirt he had picked out for you to wear. 

He soon returned, carrying an old, navy blue t-shirt that had the words 

written across the front in worn down orange text. 

"This is the only one I could find that would be long enough." He informs, handing it to you. You hold it out and look it over. You felt off for accepting this. You felt like he was your boyfriend and you were stealing his clothes. But he wasn't. And you were just borrowing. 

You smile to him and put the cup of tea down onto the coffee table, making sure not to put it on any of the books. Then you stood up and began to look for the bathroom. 

"If you're looking for the bathroom it's down the hall and to your left." Spencer informs as you get up. You turn your head and smile once more at the genius. 

After a couple minutes in the bathroom, you walk back out, absolutely drowning in Spencer’s t-shirt. And here you thought you were somewhat close to his size. 

Spencer looked up from the book you had been reading before and his eyes landed on you and ceased to move afterwards. If he were to be honest, you were beautiful. And seeing you in his shirt made him feel a sense of… well he didn't know. But he had been told it was like companionship. And partially ownership. Like she was actually partially his. But not, in the same way. 

"I know, it's huge." You comment, walking over to Spencer’s couch and taking your previous seat. 

"I wasn't...I wouldn't say that…" Spencer fumbled, sitting back against the couch with the book in his hands. His eyes were on you though. The whole time. They had followed you the entire time since you had walked out. He couldn't keep his eyes off of you. 

"Then… what would you say?" You asked out of temptation. 

Spencer felt a slight wave of panic rush over him. This wasn't too early, was it? He wanted to get to know you better. Especially before he tried anything. But it just felt… right. How could he explain that to you without scaring you away? 

"That… I uh, I'd say you look good. It suits you. The school, I mean." Spencer adds at the end, making you laugh. 

"That so? You trying to get me to go back to school, Doctor?" You teased. 

"That's up to you. Though school is good at opening opportunities to its students. At least college is." Spencer replied. 

You laughed and leaned closer to Spencer, yawning softly. You looked over his shoulder at the poem he had opened, and you smiled. 

"Read me one?" You asked. 

"You...want me to…" he asked, unsure of the clear question you just asked him. 

"Read to me. Please?" You asked, yawning again. "It'll help me sleep." You say, batting your eyes pathetically. He laughed gently and nodded. 

"Okay okay… let's start with this one." He says, adjusting the book so that he could read it and let you get comfortable. 

You snuggled closer on instinct, yawning the biggest yawn you had yet that day. 

Spencer hummed for a moment, before he began to read. "Romance, who loves to nod and sing, with drowsy head and folded wing, among the green leaves as they shake, Far down within some shadowy lake, To me a painted paroquet." He began, his voice like honey for your ears as you rested your head against his shoulder. You couldn't help but wonder what it would be like, listening to him read every night with your head on his chest or with you sitting in his lap. 

"Hath been, a most familiar bird, Taught me my alphabet to say, To lisp my very earliest word. While in the wild wood I did lie, a child, with a most knowing eye." He continued, almost a spell like trance he was casting upon your eyes. You could barely even keep them open as your body finally was able to catch up with you and encourage some well deserved rest. 

"Of late, eternal Condor years so shake the very Heaven on high with tumult as they thunder by, I have no time for idle cares, through gazing on the unquiet sky." You wanted more than anything to stay away for the last part of the poem, but you couldn't. Once you had let your body rest, and finally relax, you were a goner. 

However, he still continued, wanting to finish your request even though he knew you were asleep almost immediately. "And when an hour with calmer wings it's down upon my spirit flings, That little time with lyre and rhyme to while away - forbidden things! My heart would feel to be a crime unless it trembled with the strings." 

He gently closed the book once the final syllable left his lips. He placed the book gently down on the coffee table in front of the two of you, and grabbed a second book. He had read it already, but it gave him something to say he had been doing instead of getting up and disturbing your sleep. But also, to insist that he hadn't watched how peaceful and beautiful you were. And how he hadn't made sure to count the rise and fall of your chest to be sure you were alright. 

#spencer #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x reader fic #spencer reid x you #spencer x y/n #spencer x you #spencer reid x reader fanfiction #spencer reid x y/n #Criminal Minds #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #criminal minds fandom

[spencersawkward]

switchblade faith//spencer reid - chapter 8

summary: one month after joining the BAU, Clea is still settling in. between solving murders and getting acclimated to DC, the only comfortable thing in her life is her friendship with Dr. Spencer Reid.

pairing: Fem!OC/Spencer

word count: 3.9k

content warnings: discussion of a dead body (for a case), discussion of sensory overload (idk if that's a warning but just in case).

A/N: sorry this took so long! i've had a lot of writer's block with this series, but i'm feeling a lot more motivated with it, now. anyway enjoy!

masterlist

my feet slam into the pavement at a rate that makes me wonder if my heart can take it. I can feel the air in my lungs, stinging, and the way it never seems like enough. I can't stop. my arms are pumping and my legs burn.

I'm sure I look like a mess right now, exhausted and sweaty as I make my way up the biggest hill by my apartment. I haven't been running in a while, and this incline is even more daunting than it was before.

I use the momentum I've built from before now and force myself up. every breath rips through me violently until I'm sure that if I stop running, I'll collapse. but I keep pushing, knowing it'll be worth it.

I hated running until college. just absolutely despised the thought of getting outside and forcing myself to move quickly. the older I get, though, the more refreshing it's gotten. it helped me escape from midterms, from the pressure that constantly seemed to mount with every passing day. sometimes it feels like all of it keeps piling on, and it's never going to stop.

of course, that's not really the way to look at life. I've had things to balance out the work, friends to call and ways to let out the hammering violence that always seem to fill the spaces between my ribs. running clears my head when nothing else does.

once I get to the top, I bend over and rest my palms on my knees so that I can relax. I can hear my heart beating in my ears and can feel my pulse thudding against my throat. it's good, though. I needed to do this again, to get exercise.

I resist the urge to lay down flat on the pavement. DC isn't really a good place to do that; everyone around me is on a morning stroll with their partner or they're out for a jog themselves. I pass several enthusiastic-looking dogs out for a walk. the sheer number of people around me should make me feel normal.

it doesn't.

I straighten and stretch out my muscles, wincing at the way my calves feel if I move them funny. I don’t want to get called in for a case today, but that's naive. there will always be another case because there will always be people we need to stop. maybe I'm just not jaded enough to not care. I like to think that's a good thing, though.

...

when I head into the office a couple hours later, there's a to-go cup of coffee resting on my desk. I smile to myself, set my bag down and shrug off my coat, then peek over the divider to see Spencer with a case file open and an identical to-go cup a couple inches away.

"is this your doing?" I refer to the coffee. he nods and smiles at me, seemingly not in the mood to talk.

"thanks, Reid."

sitting down to do some work, I sneak a peek at him. Spencer is acting different from last weekend. more shy. I'm not really sure the reason, unless he just felt particularly outgoing at the party and is now back to his default self.

we get a case before the hour is up, and then my mind is occupied by the details.

jet rides, though now a familiar routine, are probably my favorite part of the job. I don't feel totally unproductive, but I still have time to unwind and talk to people on our way. Emily and I have gotten much closer within the past few weeks and sometimes she tells me stories about her old job that keep me on the edge of my seat.

there's something so mysterious about her that I just appreciate; she's like a cool older cousin to me. and she's great at making fun of Morgan, which is something that I've found enjoyable as well. sometimes he needs to be knocked down a peg-- she's the woman to do it.

"how many?" I trace my finger down the smooth skin of Derek's arm, where he's lifted his sleeve just enough to show the inked lion. it's a big tattoo, and I'm somewhat surprised he has one at all. he just doesn't really seem the type.

"five right now." he flexes his bicep flirtatiously, and I immediately remove my hand with a repulsed expression, rolling my eyes at the chuckle he lets out.

"don't feed his ego like that." Emily warns from across the table. she's flipping through one of the plant magazines that we've stashed in the snack cupboards (much to Hotch's disapproval). I turn to see Morgan's reaction.

"you a little jealous, Prentiss?" he teases. her only response is a glance that dares him to push further. they both know that Emily has absolutely no interest in him, which I suppose adds to their friendship. Morgan leans down by my ear, but he makes no effort to quiet his voice. "you should ask about her tattoos."

"you have tattoos?" my eyes widen at this, voice a little louder than usual. Hotch glances over at us from his seat a ways away, but doesn't say anything. Reid is passed out on the couch, strangely tired for the middle of the day; Rossi's writing something in his miniature journal.

"that's not anyone's business." she says more to Morgan than to me.

"I wanna see!" I set my glass of ice water down on the table and straighten up. Emily pretends to be exhausted by the persistence, but she closes her magazine momentarily.

"look, I can't show them all here." she raises a suggestive eyebrow.

"then how does Derek know?" I smirk. Emily makes a face, but Morgan is the one who replies.

"this one gets a little loose-lipped when she drinks too much." he teases. I snort and glance at Emily. I've seen her tipsy before, but never drunk. at most, she gets affectionate with all of us and calls us her best friends in the whole world. which, honestly, isn't an unwelcome sentiment.

"I do not." she argues.

"yeah, you do." Reid mumbles from the couch cushion where he's been resting his head. I jump at the sudden noise, and we all turn to him.

"look who's up." Emily smiles. Reid stretches his legs out, limbs so long that his feet hang off the end of the couch. he's wearing mismatched socks again today, one with bananas and one covered in sushi rolls. I smile to myself.

"I'm not," he argues. "someone had to correct you."

Morgan and I let out an amused laugh. my eyes dart between Spencer and the two other agents. "I feel like I'm the only one here who hasn't seen Prentiss drunk."

"yes, you have." she frowns.

"no. not, like, plastered."

"don't let Garcia hear you say that." Morgan laughs. I snort.

"why?"

"any excuse to party, and she'll take it." he shakes his head affectionately.

"she'd just call it bonding." Prentiss adds in. I have a soft spot in my heart for Pen. for all of the darkness we see here, she makes it a little bit brighter with her quips and sparkly pens and neon glasses. she's a blessing.

"what's so bad about that?" I defend for her sake.

"nothing's wrong with it, per se," Emily shrugs. "it just means we aren't as professional as we should be."

"I'd argue that our job actually means we get to let loose more when we have the time." I shrug. Morgan offers his fist to pound, and I oblige with a satisfied smile.

"you two are children, you know that?" Emily gestures between Derek and me. I shrug, about to return to my crossword when she speaks again. "how many tattoos do you have, Clea?"

I blink for a second, deciding whether or not to lie. it would be kind of cool to sound badass, but I don't know if I even have the mental capability to fib to a bunch of profilers. "none."

"what?" Morgan looks at me with confusion.

"yeah, none. why is that such a big surprise?" I laugh at their reactions. Prentiss is alarmed, too.

"I don't know-- you seem like the kind of person to get a heart tattooed on your thigh or something." Morgan shrugs. I make a face, silent.

"that's offensive."

Prentiss snorts and finishes her drink. I peek over and see Reid with his eyes closed but a slightly amused smile on his face. by the couch, I can see through the window. we're slipping through gray clouds that are saturated with rain, and the weather change causes the jet to shake a bit.

my fingertips wrap around the arm of the seat and Emily eyes me warily.

"you okay?"

"don't like flying." I answer, nostrils flaring slightly. usually with these trips, I've been able to hide my apprehension for flying by holding onto my knee below the table or something, but the sudden jerks are putting me off.

it's stupid-- plane anxiety is ridiculously common, and I don't think it's necessarily unwarranted. the problem is that to a bunch of people trained in behavioral analysis, it shows a blatant fear of not having control.

which is true, but it's not like I need that plastered all over my face every time we board a flight.

"would you get a tattoo if you could?" Emily changes the subject, thankfully, and I bite down on my bottom lip.

"I think so, yeah." it's said without much thought; all that's on my mind right now is wondering what our ETA is. Morgan shifts in his seat to smirk.

"really."

"sure."

he nods appreciatively before turning to look back out the window. droplets of moisture are collecting there, but they only distort the image of Portland stretched out below. the water is steel gray and rippled with wind.

I've never been here. for some reason, I find myself wondering what it smells like. that mingling of city scent and ocean, if they meet in the middle to form their own distinct identity. if it will settle on my tongue and in my clothes.

it's funny to me that when I go to different places and return, I don't notice how different it all smells until I breathe it in through the fabric of my shirts, and from there it all comes rushing back. Spencer mentioned during a case once that scent creates the most powerful memory reaction out of all our senses-- and I believe it.

DC smells like humidity and rain-slicked streets, Montana like dust. even the jet has a particular one that I don't associate with anything right now, but I know I will in the future. like I'm standing in the formation of a memory.

half-baked.

...

we've got the hoods of our raincoats up as we make our way into the office of our latest victim. Morgan holds the door and I wander in, staring up at the enormous glass walls of the place. a stray droplet falls from the hood of my jacket and onto my nose, rolling down the bridge and causing me to sniffle.

her boss is surprisingly dismissive of us when we get to his office, reluctantly getting off a phone call and giving me something of a dead-fish handshake. as we take a seat at his desk, I can smell the overbearing stench of his expensive cologne.

he's got exactly the kind of look that I wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole: taut, judgmental face with a stiff mustache and slicked-back black hair that honestly is probably dyed. his eyes linger on me for a bit longer than I appreciate, but I clear my throat and try to brush off the discomfort.

Winona's body was found in a ditch off the side of a highway, dumped like trash. based on the ME report, she was alive when he threw her in, but died shortly after from her wounds. the whole thing is gruesome and as her employer notes her tendency to daydream and occasional tardiness, I want to reach across the table to smack him.

Morgan is able to keep his cool better than I can, nodding. I know it's important to know her behaviors in order to build our profile, but I still don't like the way this guy is talking about her.

"she wasn't really the strongest employee we've got, but she was nice enough around the office." he shrugs. I notice the gold wedding band that glints on his ring finger, the way he leans back in his swivel chair. he's got evaluative eyes.

by the time we're done, I'm practically flying out the door of his office and hurrying to the elevator. we got what we needed to know from him, if not through a somewhat convoluted method.

"nice guy." I note sarcastically after punching the down button. Morgan tucks his hands into his jeans pockets and looks at our warped reflections in the elevator doors.

"we talk to a lot of people like that. you get used to it."

"didn't seem too concerned about her at all."

"I don't think guys like that are concerned about much more than themselves."

"you should have mentioned a tax evasion investigation happening around here," I smirk. "that would probably put the fear of God into him."

Morgan chuckles and looks over at me. it would be unprofessional to fist bump with so many people around, although the smile we share is definitely a great equivalent.

as we pack into the metal box with a bunch of employees, they look at us curiously. the enormous FBI label on the back of our jackets probably doesn't help, but I pretend to look like I know what I'm doing as we step out into the lobby.

in all reality, faking it until I make it is the only thing I know how to do.

...

the late night cravings come as a surprise as I stand over a map of Portland. my eyes are starting to cross from staring at all the minuscule details for so long, and my fingers are twitching from a mixture of hunger and overloaded caffeine.

we were supposed to go to bed about two hours ago, but I know for a fact that I'm not the only one sitting in my motel room with open files and a determined expression. I do happen to be the only person rooming alone, however, and the silence has been helpful.

Reid's been working on a geographic profile, but there's something missing. I'm not sure what it is. all I know is that if I don't figure it out soon, it's going to eat away at me. based on his activity patterns, there are only a few more days before this guy abducts another woman.

except now I'm just thinking about how much time we don't have, and that sort of sends me into a spiral, too. I'm prepared to always be running against a clock for this job, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. I'm going to lose it if I stare at any more tiny lines indicating roads or side streets or whatever else demands attention.

I need to get out of my head.

before taking time to really consider anything else, I grab my phone and look up pizza places nearby. what I need right now is some sustenance and tv-- or at least something to distract me enough to recharge.

I change into my pjs and wash my face while I wait for the delivery person to arrive, try to ease the day out of my bones. there used to be a whole process for me after work every day, where I'd shut off my brain. The Real Housewives of Atlanta provided ample help for this, along with fuzzy socks and glasses of red wine. I can make do with this.

once the pizza guy comes and I pay for my food, I don't even make way to my room; instead, I go to the person I know who needs this more than I do.

"Clea?" Spencer rubs his eyes as he swings open the door, glasses held in the other hand.

"hi." I smile brightly.

"what are you doing here?" his soft tone and the dim light from a motel lamp in the corner tells me that Morgan is asleep right now in the other bed.

in response to his question, I hold up the box of pizza with a grin. his eyes widen.

"I can't eat all this alone." definitely a lie, but saying that he needs to take a break probably wouldn't sway him enough.

for a second, Spencer seems to debate this in his head. when he runs a shaky hand through his hair, I roll my eyes. "it's pizza, dude. not a wedding proposal. you can go back to the case in twenty minutes."

he nods this time and looks up at me as I turn and start toward my room. closing the door gently behind him, I don't miss the way he increases his pace a little to catch up with me.

"did you get mushrooms?" he asks. I throw him a disgusted look before realizing what he's talking about and breaking into a grin.

"you remembered!" I reference my hatred of the fungus. Spencer smiles with pride, turns his gaze to the carpeted floors. I unlock the door and let us in.

"of course I remember," he snorts. "it's hard to forget."

I giggle at the way he immediately uses the sink to wash his hands, and I join him after setting the box on the bed.

"favorite soap scent?" I ask absently. suds cover my fingers as he rinses the water from his. normally, this isn't a question I'd ask, but Spencer seems like he would have a response.

"you know, I really enjoy anything fresh-smelling," he thinks about it. "like waterfall smell."

"I like those, too."

"what's your favorite?"

"there's this brand that I love that specializes in antibacterial soaps, and they have a lavender one that literally makes me ascend." I laugh. Spencer is drying his hands with a folded towel and his face lights up.

"Ravi's Organics?" he suggests. my heart leaps with recognition.

"yes! oh my god, have you used their cracked cinnamon one?"

"I have the hand sanitizer in my bag." Reid's eyes are so pretty. they sparkle with a hazel color, almost chocolatey in the cheap motel light.

"they have a hand sanitizer for it?" my jaw drops. he nods and I shake my head slowly. we walk over to the bed to eat the pizza. he seems hesitant, though, and pauses.

it takes me a second to remember that Spencer has different boundaries and is just kind of awkward in general. even though there's no obvious tension between us, I don't want to make him uncomfortable, so I plop down on the floor.

"you like Ravi's Organics." he states it back to himself more than to me, and as I pop open the box to reveal a beautiful pepperoni pizza, I nod vigorously.

"yeah, it's actually kind of a funny story," we start to dig in immediately. I lift an enormous slice to my lips and bite into the perfection. it's so good. "when I was little, my parents used to call me Rascal."

"Rascal?" he laughs through a bite of food.

"like the raccoon? from that book?" it's a kid's story.

"why?" he snorts. I take a second to chew before replying.

"I just get really overwhelmed by certain sensory things-- like, I hate being sticky or having any kind of weird texture on my hands. so whenever we went out to eat or anything, I would always sit on the outside of the booth so I could run to the bathroom and wash my hands as I pleased." I explain all of this with a slight frown on my face. it's true, I've just never really thought about it.

"I don't like sticky stuff, either." he offers.

"yeah, it got pretty bad. but I guess I just grew out of it. I'm not sure when." I pluck a piece of pepperoni off the top and slide it into my mouth.

Spencer takes in this information for a second while he eats, and I'm momentarily worried that I've overshared. he came for some food and now I've served up a weird childhood memory to accompany it.

but then he does something funny and altogether endearing.

"actually, raccoons are very cleanly creatures, despite their dietary habits." he tells me.

frankly, it makes me feel better than anything else that he could have said. "fastidious little things, right?"

"exactly." he chuckles. his shoulders are hunched, elbows leaning on his knees.

"fix your posture." I say gently, noticing the way his spine curves abysmally when he's sitting across from me. his cheeks turn a pretty pink, but he follows directions.

"is it that bad?" he's a bit embarrassed. immediately, I soften and do what comes easily, making a joke.

"if you don't work on it, you're gonna be living in a French cathedral by the age of thirty."

Spencer snorts-- genuinely almost chokes on his food-- and looks at me with his almost childlike eyes. there's something in them that I can't decipher at all, almost so obvious that it completely goes over my head.

"that was mean." he's still trying to recover from the onset of giggles, and I lean forward to grab another slice, suppressing a proud grin myself.

"your future straight-backed self will thank me."

"I'll remember that." he nods dutifully.

"I'm sure you will."

we share a secretive smile before I bite into my pizza and launch into a different subject. the more I learn about Spencer, the more I want to know. I feel like there are things beneath every new surface that would be fascinating to understand.

"what's it like having an eidetic memory?"

he frowns like he isn't sure how to answer. I thought he'd already have something locked and loaded, a prepared response for a question he definitely gets frequently. when he opens his mouth, I find myself hanging on every word. "it's... interesting."

"blessing or a curse?"

"both."

"would you ever give it up if given the option?" I narrow my eyes a bit. I'm especially curious about this.

"no." this is delivered with certainty. for a second, I stare at him with about a million more questions in my head. of course, they're completely out-of-bounds and way too personal, but they're still there.

"hm." I say instead. as usual, delivering thrilling commentary at every turn.

Spencer peeks at me over his pizza for a second, seeming to want to say something else, but decides against it. our eyes meet; I'm not sure what it is, maybe a silent agreement or something else that's unspoken, but we decide not to press further on either end.

whatever he's got tucked away in that big brain of his, he's not ready to talk about it with anyone-- much less a new colleague in a dumpy motel. there's a time and place for certain things, and boundaries to respect.

I change the subject before he can make some lame excuse to leave. for some reason, I just don't want him to leave me here in this room.

taglist (lmk if you wanna be added/removed for this series): @reidsconverse @voidsfilm

#spencer reid #spencer reid fic #criminal minds fic #criminal minds #best friends to lovers #fanfic #mgg #matthew gray gubler #baby spencer #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x oc #spencer reid x reader

[vanillann]

pancakes for dinner (spencer reid x reader)

based off the song “pancakes for dinner” by lizzy mcalpine

so i’m having crazy writers block and can’t seem to write any request, so here a really bad work from the drafts

word count: 1.4k

“Now boarding flight 356 to Virginia.”

I swiped off the news article from my phone, politics would have to wait till I had free time again.

I grabbed my bag, quickly checking to make sure everything was in place as I walked to the gate.

I quickly ran through the hall, handing off my rolling bag to the polite man standing beside the door.

I looked down at my ticket and quickly found my seat, bless god for window seats.

I took the seat, the hard leather would be annoying for the hours I was stuck on this plane.

I played with the end of my long sleeve, nervous because I was going back home and I hadn’t seen the team in almost three weeks.

“Hi, you must be my plane partner.”

I turned my head to see a beautiful redhead smiling at me as she took a seat.

“Oh hi, I’m (Y/N).”

“Lizzie.”

I nodded my head and continued to look at the headrest from the seat in front of me.

“So what were you doing in Rome (Y/N)?”

Lizzie smiled at me, turning in her seat to slightly face me.

“I got a month off work, I spent the first week in the hospital and the last 3 here.”

Lizzie looked over me wide eyed.

“Why were you in the hospital?”

I laughed to myself, I forgot that most people's jobs don’t experience near death often.

“I’m an FBI agent, I got caught in the middle of a shot out.”

Lizzie turned more in her seat, now completely sitting sideways and watching me with wonder.

“A really FBI agent, that’s so cool.”

I smiled, turning in my seat to face her better as well.

“I work a basic office job, it’s so boring.”

Lizzie went on for a few minutes about her office job until the plane took off.

The conversation flowed easily, she was included, nice and easy to speak to, something I enjoyed about people.

“So why did you come to Rome?”

Lizzie's entire demeanor changed quickly, gripping onto the true edge of her seat lightly.

“It was supposed to be my honeymoon but my I left my fiancé for someone else and then found out she died in a plane crash the day before.”

The atmosphere we had both created slowly became darker, the idea of talking about dead love from a plane crash while on a plane felt weird.

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, I know she would have wanted me to move on.”

I placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, watching her look down at the white dress that laid across her lap.

“Did she know?”

Lizzie simply shook her head, a sad smile playing at her lips.

“I never told her, she was my best friend.”

The first thing I thought of was Spencer, the way I would feel if I was in that position.

“What?”

Lizzie made eye contact with me, her face searching mine for I don’t know what.

“Huh?”

“You were thinking about something, what was it?”

I shook my head, telling her it was nothing just a work thing.

“Work thing my ass, tell me.”

I looked at the computer screen, seeing I had multiple hours left until I would get off the plane.

It can’t hurt to tell the stranger that slowly became your friend about your sad love life, right?

Right.

“I’m in love with my best friend, who is also my co-worker.”

Lizzie shrugged her shoulder, placing her elbows on the arm rest and letting her rest head on her hands.

“So?”

“So, it’s a tragedy waiting to happen.”

“A tragedy waiting to happen was the love of my life dying before I could tell her.”

Lizzie gave me a smirk, watching me with big brown eyes like she could manipulate my mind.

“Well it’s not the same, Spencer-“

“Spencer, he sounds smart.”

I laughed and helped the chuckle to flow easily from my lips.

“You have no idea, he’s a genius with a 187 IQ.”

Lizzie eyes wide again, mouthing a “wow”.

“I know and he is so sweet.”

Memories of Spencer bring me food and let me borrow his cardigans flash through my thoughts. I hadn’t spoken to him in three week, hoping that in Rome I could fall in love with a beautiful man and forget about the gorgeous genius.

That didn’t happen.

“You must really like the boy,” Lizzie spoke softly.

“I mean yeah, I’ve known him for 6 years now, how couldn’t I.”

Lizzie laughed, pushing my shoulder and grabbing my bag.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting your phone.”

Lizzie easily found my phone, sitting my bag in her lap and handing the phone to me.

“Call him.”

She had a stern look on her face, I almost felt like I would get slapped if I didn’t listen.

“I can’t, it’s ruining everything.”

“How do you know that?”

I looked back out the window of the plane, watching the clouds pass easily past me.

“What if he doesn’t feel the same or worse, what if I’m wrong about my feelings.”

I felt a hand lay gentle on my shoulder, rubbing small circles as she spoke.

“I got a question that will help.”

I looked back over my shoulder at her, waiting for her to continue.

“If you don’t know if you’re in love or not, think about who you would want to eat pancakes for dinner with.”

The sight of me standing against my counter flash through. I could imagine Spencer standing across from me, holding a bottle of syrup with his proud little smirk across his face.

I could imagine him telling me how unhealthy everything I was doing was, then continue to eat little pieces of the pancakes from my plate.

I could imagine coming home from a hard case with him beside me buying the mix because I had the craving on the jet.

I could imagine it all, but only with him.

It was only him.

“Oh my-“

“I told you.”

Lizzie pushed the phone closer to my hand, her eyes watching closely as I took it and opened it to find Spencer's number.

I looked over Lizzie for the last time, her encouraging smile was all it took for me to press the call.

I slowly bought the phone up to my ear, listening to the ringing. My nerves were on fire but Lizzie held my other hand, making me calm down slightly.

“Hello this is Dr. Spencer Reid, please leave a message.”

I looked at Lizzie, the panic was definitely setting in now.

“Voicemail.”

This wasn’t part of the plan.

“It’s okay.”

I listened from the final beep, I felt like I was going to be sick.

I heard the beep echo, the words falling past my mouth without even thinking about what I was saying.

“Hi Spencer, it’s me (Y/N).”

I cringed listening to my own voice, I sounded like I was talking to my boss or something.

“I have a feeling you and the team are on a case or something so you probably aren’t going to get this until Pen teaches you how.”

Lizzie laughed to herself, making me smile slightly.

“Okay, um here goes everything.”

I felt Lizzie grip tighter on my hand, sending me over the edge.

“I wanna eat pancakes for dinner with you, I know that doesn't makes sense to you and all but- um.”

I looked back out the window, the clouds passing me helped everything make more sense in my brain.

“A stranger on the plane told me a crazy story about the love of her life dying in a plane crash and eating pancakes for dinner and I realized that I can’t keep acting like I don’t want you.”

I took the large breath of air, my nerves slowly leaving my body.

“And right now i’m horrified that this will end horribly but right now I’m stuck on this plane and if it crashes or I disappear or some serial killer finds me, I need you to know.”

“I love you Spencer Reid, I always have and I can’t help it that I wanna eat pancakes for dinner with you.”

Lizzie on the other hand wrapped around the one she already held.

“I can’t help it that you might be the love of my life and I might die today, so if you don’t feel the same it’s okay but I just need you to know.”

I gave a basic “bye” before quickly hanging up the phone, quickly handing the phone back to Lizzie and letting my head fall into my lap.

“You got balls (Y/N)”

I looked up, Lizzie had nothing but a large smile across her face, watching me closely.

“You think?”

“Oh definitely, he’s crazy if he doesn’t want pancakes at dinner with you.”

part ii

cm tag list:

@itsarayofsunshine

#spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #bau #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds

[aesthbaby]

You’re Not Alone

Summary: Angst story where Reader and Emily make a discovery after getting into an argument

Pairings: Emily Prentiss x reader (no gender is identified but it is stated that the reader is lgbtq+ and with Emily)

Request: @millipop18 this one

Warnings: Cursing | Arguments | Talk of homophobia

Wordcount: 1.5K

Masterlist

64. “Yell, scream, cry, please, just say something, anything.

67. “If you don’t want to talk about it then say so. Don’t lie and pretend to be fine when you clearly aren’t.”

“No, I don’t think that.” You’re defensive, and rightfully so. You fucked up and the evidence is written all over Emily’s face, you didn’t mean to hurt her. She damn near snapped on the spot right after you said it. You tried to defend yourself but of course Emily has a point, she always has a point.

“Why did you say that?” She doesn’t sound angry, she kind of sounds hurt.

“I said it without thinking, I didn’t mean it like that.” You and Em randomly decided you wanted to get tacos from the new place down the block after work. Everything was going fine until you ran into Matt Simmons and one of his kids. No idea which one it was, he has a shit ton.

“Well,” She trails quietly. “Did you mean it?” She stops what she’s doing and turns around to face you. Her dark eyes are pouring into your soul and its actually really intimidating to see. “Did you?” She repeats when you don’t answer.

“Did I what?” You’re distracted, you knew you shouldn’t have said that in front of her. Or at all for that matter of fact because it was so unlike you.

She puts down her phone and stiffens her expression. “Did you mean what you said?” Your mouth opens and closes without anything coming out. She scuffs and brushes past you; hitting your shoulder in the process. Shit y/n think! You stand there for a second, fidgeting with your fingers, and trying to find the right words. “Its a simple question, really.” She’s wearing her monotone voice and clenching her jaw.

“No...” You whisper like you’re afraid of your own voice.

Your girlfriend sits on the bench and moves to take her shoes off. “Y/n,” She spits your name out like gum, effectively getting your attention. “When Matt asked me who you were, you interrupted me and said...” She looks to you to finish her sentence but you stay quiet. “Of course.” She mumbles. “You told him, and I quote, “I’m just an old friend visiting the city.” Emily never really “yells” at you but its pretty obvious when she wants to. “What was that?” Her voice is rising. “Friend?!” Her eyes lock on you like prey and this is when you notice her anger is replaced by glistening tears. They’re barely there and Emily wouldn’t dare let them fall. As quick as you notice them, they’re gone again. Emily Prentiss does not cry.

“Em...I-” You’re anxiously clinching the collar of your shirt while trying to get the words out.

“You told him you were my friend...” She looks back down in defeat and it breaks your heart a little. You hear her sniffle and it just adds to the sadness building in your heart. When she looks at you again, her eyes are clear and her face is basically emotionless.

“Emily, baby, I am so sorry.” You sit beside her and gently lay your hand on hers.

She turns to you and asks, “Why?” That’s all she says.

Excuse me? Is what you wanted to say out of sheer shock. Obviously you said this instead: “I don’t know, Em. It just came out.”

“Right,” She nods to herself and then stands in front of you. “Y/n you and I both know this is very unlike you. I mean you’ve hesitated before when it came to telling people we’re dating but I-”

“Woah, when have I ever hesitated to tell people we were dating?” That one really threw you for a loop.

And she looks surprised that you even said anything. “Point being, I can’t help you if you don’t help me.”

The word “huh” was on the tip of your lips but you pushed it back. “Em, I’m okay.” You place your hand over your heart while speaking. “You’re the one who...” Your through suddenly feels dry.

“The one who’s...what? Upset?” You almost want to nod at that but decide against it. “But I’m not the one who said we were just friends.” Why is she talking to me like a unit chief? “And despite my current feelings, I know you.”

You swallow that information like a lump in your throat. “I’m okay.”

She sucks in a sharp breath. “No, you are not and I’d like to know why?” Is this what Reid feels like when the team talks to him? I feel like a child during a negotiation. Confused. You were just about to defend yourself when she spoke again. “Is this about your family?” As your expression, she moves on. “Do you not like Matt? Would you prefer it if our relationship was more private?” She pauses before asking the next one. “Is this about me?”

“What? No! Jesus Em I have nothing against you or us.” Its like the more emotional you get, the more neutral her face becomes.

“Then what is it y/n/n?” She takes your hands in hers. “What. Is. It?”

“I fucked up, I realized that as soon as I said it.”

She lets out another puff of air. “God what is up with you today? You never keep stuff from me. You’re the one who made this stupid rule about always telling the truth even if its undesirable and boring.” Gezz I didn’t think it was that bad of a rule. “If you don’t want to talk about it then say so. Don’t lie and pretend to be fine when you clearly aren’t.”

“Oh here we go again with the bullshit. Don’t fucking profile me, Emily.” You stand and head to the kitchen. “Don’t open that box.” As you reach towards the refrigerator handle, her hand stops you.

“What happened?” She’s practically begging you to answer her.

You give in. “I got a call yesterday. I thought I recognized the number but when I picked up the phone the voice sounded fake. Like it was run through an app. They said I should be more careful about flaunting my sexuality.” The words spilled out so quickly you didn’t know how to stop them.

She was stunned, mouth ajar.“I had no idea. When did this happen?”

“Last night. I didn’t really care at first because I thought it was one of my old friends, exes, or something like that. It wasn’t until we were out that it felt like we were being followed. So when we saw Matt I panicked.” The apartment is filled with complete and suffocating silence. Em is looking at you like she suddenly has no idea who you are. “Em...” You take a step to her while she takes one back. “Baby...come on.” She don’t respond, or move, speak, nothing. “Talk to me Em, please.” Nothing. “Yell, scream, cry, please, just say something, anything.”

You haven’t seen her look this concerned since the time you ran smack dead into a wall in the middle of the night. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Her voice is so quiet. 

“Because I can handle myself, I was fine up until a few hours ago. It freaked me out. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” You step to her and wrap your arms around her waist. “I just couldn’t tell you.” 

“Yes, you could have. You’re not alone anymore y/n/n. You have to tell me about this stuff. You’re not the only one affected by it.”

“Shit. Babe I’m sorry I didn’t think about it like that.”

She strokes a piece of your hair near your forehead. “Its okay. I’m more upset with myself for not noticing sooner. I do this kind of stuff as a living, you’d think it come natural.”

You pull her flush against you. “I really fucked up this time.”

She laughs at that. “You did, but don’t worry. Tomorrow you will come to work with me and I’ll have my team look into it. For now,” she kisses the top of your head. “You should eat and then tap out for the night. Tomorrow’s gonna be a long day.”

You give her a confused expression. “What do you mean?”

“First we’ll have to go over that call with Garcia, consult with Reid on the wording, hire Derek as a body guard, come out to the entire team about our relationship, and of course we’ll have to get a dog.”

“I like the dog part.” As if on queue Sergio comes out of the bedroom and sits at your feet. “Sergio’s kind of boring.” Despite whispering the last part, Sergio still meows at it.

Em untangles herself from you to pick up her cat. “Y/n doesn’t mean it Serg.”

You lean in to the cat’s small ear. “Yeah I do.”

“Come on babe, lets double check the locks.” The brunette and her cat leave the kitchen to cover your ass.

When she comes back, she’s empty handed. “Where’s the feline?”

“My arms are only for you.” She opens her arms for you.

You walk into the embrace and god does it feel good. After a moment of pure bless you speak. “I’m scared, E.”

“We’re gonna be okay.” She pulls you even closer. “You’re gonna be okay.”

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･**･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*˚✧₊⁎ ⁎⁺˳✧༚ ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟ･*:.｡.｡.:*･'･*:.｡.

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[louiseleblancdiggory]

do you still take prompts?? i would love a lou and reid “kissing in public” one 🥺❤️

I’m always taking prompts! This came in such a good time because I have been trying to write a smutty Loureid scene and is just not coming out the way I want, so the break from it to write some fluff was blessed. Hope you like it!

Word count: 1800 

PDA

--

Reid wasn’t a social butterfly, Louise knew that.

And it never really bothered her, not really. She loved her boyfriend the way he was— quiet, brooding and intimidatingly smart. Reid was loving and caring for her in the privacy of their apartments or their friends’ apartments. He had a complete soft spot for her and, the few times someone did see him smiling in public, it was usually at Lou.

Despite hating large gatherings, Reid would always go parties with Lou. He wanted to make sure she was safe all the time, and he knew Lou wanted him there. His presence was never a bother, always a soothing company. Lou could get extremely drunk and Reid would be there. She could not drink at all and he would be there. She could go to spend hours in that party or only five minutes and he would always gladly follow her.

He wouldn’t dance or even talk to that many people, and although his eyes would never leave her body while she danced.

Lou couldn’t really complain about her handsome boyfriend staring at her dancing as if he was going to devour her.

As she said, Reid’s personality didn’t bother her one tiny bit.

But apparently his behavior annoyed the hell out of him.

“Good morning.” Lou said lazily, padding out of Reid’s bedroom. He was sitting with his back to her at the table but she could notice how tense his body was. Lou walked up to him, hugging him from behind. His body immediately relaxed, and she pressed a few kisses to his neck. “Did you wake up too long ago?”

“No.” He said, pulling her around the chair so she could sit on his lap. He gave her a quick kiss before Lou turned to the table to grab a toast and put some grape jam on it. “Maybe half an hour ago? I didn’t want to wake you.”

Lou merely hummed, taking a bite of her toast. She offered it to Reid but he gave her a shake of his head, gesturing to an enormous cup of coffee by the table. “That much coffee will kill you one day.”

He laughed, but it was clipped. Lou fully turned to him, analyzing his features. Reid was the tallest man she had ever seen, so even on his lap she had to look up at his face. Ivory skin, deep cobalt eyes and coppery hair, the sharp lines constructing his face could have landed him in a model agency if Reid wasn’t such an academic. His features that were usually relaxed when it was only the two of them appeared tense.

Lou raised an eyebrow, smoothing the crease between his brows. “What happened, Chass?”

“Do you regret dating me?”

Lou blinked. “What?”

He sighed deeply, running his hand through his hair. “I’m not really your type, Lou.”

Reid knew about her ex boyfriends. Knew that they were all as social and open as she was, but Lou never thought that it was something that bothered Reid or even made him think that he wasn’t her type. She liked smart, loyal men. Liked someone trustworthy and that would always be able to match her sarcasm and jokes with sarcasm and jokes of his own. Reid was perfect for her.

“Of course you are my type.” She said as if stating the obvious. “Why all this now?”

He sighed again and turned his head, ignoring her gaze. “Yesterday…”

“Oh. Oh.” Lou said, her gaze softening. They had been to a party yesterday, and everything was going as always. She had talked to everyone and Reid was content to just observe his girlfriend on her habitat. Everyone liked Lou, he knew, and it gave him enormous satisfaction to know that despite his reserves she had fallen for him as hard as he had fallen for her. He was thinking about that the night before when he watched a guy approach Lou from behind and start dancing with her. She immediately got away, saying something to the guy and then pointing at Reid’s direction.

The man looked Reid up and down, then Lou. And then he snorted and Reid could see his mouth forming the word “Him?”. Lou nodded, and the guy laughed again but left.

“No one understands how we’re together, Lou. Some don’t even believe. And there’s a fucking reason for that.” He looked back at her, his expression almost pained. “You couldn’t be more social if you tried, and if I tried to be more recluse, I wouldn’t even leave the apartment. I— I just… I don’t want to hold you back.”

“You don’t fucking hold me back.” Her voice was harsh. She knew she should be nicer to Reid right now, it wasn’t really his fault he had insecurities about their relationship. She did too. “And the same way you think that, I do too. But I know it’s stupid because I love you and you love me and that’s all it matters. We never cared about other people’s opinions on our relationship. Let’s not start now.”

He snorted, not at all convinced.

“Would you leave me for a chemistry genius? The type of girl who can probably resolve problems in record time, undoubtedly watches those boring ass documentaries you do and most definitely has won about twenty seven awards on her field?”

“No, of course not. I would never leave you”

“Then why the hell would I leave you for someone that’s more like me?” She crossed her eyes and stared at him.

He stared right back, his features relaxing little by little. Lou never knew Reid even thought of these things. He had never even as much hinted jealously or doubt in their relationship and Lou was terrified that this would make him break up with her because he would think that he was doing the best for her. As much as Reid was a science genius, his grasp on other people’s emotions was a disaster.

“I love you, Reid. Part of me has loved you since the first time we met through Beau and you blurted out what my name meant when I introduced myself.” His cheeks became a rosy pink and Lou smiled. “You’re the best I could ever hope for. Your personality never bothered me, and if you decided to never go to a party again it wouldn’t bother me either.”

He nodded, resting his face on the crook of her neck and taking a deep breath. Lou’s arms came around his shoulders, and she just hugged him.

“I love you too, you know.” He murmured against her skin.

Lou smiled broadly, turning back to the table to eat another toast. “Of course I know.”

The rest of the day went by without too much problem. They spent the whole Saturday together at his apartment, eventually ordering food because Reid didn’t feel like cooking and Lou was a disgrace in the kitchen. When the night came and Coco swept by to pick Lou up to a party at Beau’s fraternity, Reid accompanied both women regardless of Lou’s earlier statement. He usually took care of Coco as much as he took care of Lou. And also Beau.

“Coco.” He said and Lou’s best friend smiled at her boyfriend. Coco and Reid had became close friends after he and Lou started dating. “Looking dashing. I’m sorry for my brother.”

Coco laughed at Reid while looping an arm through Lou’s. “I’m sorry for him too.” Coco chirped. Her and Beau had been playing that strange game of theirs for years now to Reid and Lou’s immeasurable entertainment.

When they arrived at the house, Coco left Lou with Reid to find Beau. Ansel wasn’t coming today, having an anatomy test tomorrow. Reid offered to help him study, but Ans just brushed him off and told him to go have fun with his girlfriend.

Lou expected Reid to go to his usual spot while she combed through the party, but instead he surprisingly slid his hand into her and took a step closer. Lou didn’t comment anything on it, but she would certainly bring it up later. He followed her around as she greeted people. She stopped to talk to a few, gesturing with a hand to the man behind her and introducing him as her boyfriend. As much as Reid wasn’t one for social interactions with strangers, he couldn’t help but be happy at the smile on Lou’s face every time she introduced him or got comment such as “You are such a pretty couple!”.

When even she tired of greeting everyone, she dragged Reid to the bar, grabbing one of those red cups filled with cheap beer. She offered one to Reid, but he merely shook his head and bent down to whisper on her ear. “I’m the DD tonight, baby. Can’t drink.”

“You’re always the DD.” She pouted but didn’t insist further. “I would be majorly pissed if I was always the DD.”

He laughed and pulled her to one of the armchairs near the beer pong. He sat down, looking at her standing in front of him a second before pulling her close to his lap.

“You were never one for PDA, Chass.” She mused against his ear so he could hear her voice clearly. His hands were on her hips, and she rested against his chest, one arm around his shoulders.

“I was going to let you roam around like the social butterfly you are as per usual.” He also said against her ear. “But you seemed so happy by holding my hand and introducing me to your friends that now I think I’ll keep you here for the rest of the night.”

She laughed, taking a sip of her beer. It tasted like piss as always.

“So I have the green light for PDA tonight?” She asked, smiling against his ear.

She could hear him snorting, one of his hands going up and down her back. “I am yours, Louise le Blanc.”

Her smile widened, and she pulled back to look at Reid. Even among this many people, he seemed for the first time completely relaxed. Reid wasn’t one for holding hands in public, or constantly hugging or kissing. She didn’t want him to change but it was so good being able to show her boyfriend off.

“Well,” she said leaning in. “Let me enjoy you then.”

His smile was as big as hers when she touched her lips to him. It wasn’t anything as hot or deep as they usually did in their apartments, but not even Lou would be comfortable doing that in public. No, the kisses were sweet and soft, and Lou couldn’t stop smiling as Reid kissed her through the night, completely at ease with her in his arms.

Tags:

@in-love-with-caramel-macchiato @jlinez @courtofjurdan @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln @ladywitchling

(If you only want to be tagged on TOG fics please tell me and I will take you out of the general list!)

#loureid #louise le blanc #reid diggory #louise and reid #loureid fanfic #loureid au #loureid oneshot #serpent and dove #s&d #beau lyon #coco monvoisin #ansel diggory #writing #answered #shelby mahurin #mardu writes

[spencers-dria]

The First of Many

Someone To Stay Ch. 10

Spencer Reid x fem reader

Content Warnings: *Mentions of alcohol/drinking

Y/N POV:

You roll over in bed to glance at your phone to see it's 11 AM. It feels nice to sleep in with no alarm. After putting on your glasses and slippers and finally dragging yourself out of bed, you stroll into the kitchen and pour a bowl of fruity pebbles. You put a music playlist on the TV to play in the background.

It has been almost a week since your talk with Spencer. As much as it hurt you to see him broken in that way, you felt honored that he trusts you enough to share that part of his life with you. Talking about trauma is never easy. You should know.

You think over some of the things you said to him. Spencer's entire job involves profiling people and reading every tone, every bit of body language. You are sure that he most likely noticed changes in you as you spoke about coping with trauma, but you're grateful he hadn't felt the need to prod you with questions. He had become your best friend here, but you aren't sure you're quite ready to bare the darkest parts of your soul to him.

Suddenly you hear a knock at your door, not caring if a neighbor or maintenance worker sees you in your pajamas, you stroll towards the door and swing it open. You rub your eyes under your glasses to make sure you're seeing correctly. Spencer is standing in your doorway, a sheepish smile on his face.

"Y/N I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up! I just assumed since it was 11..."

You wave, brushing off his comments. "Its fine, really. I actually wasn't asleep. I was eating a late breakfast though." You suddenly become very self-conscious, and its not just because you're in your pajamas. Spencer had seen you that way on the trip. You realize as you stand in your doorway that you're wearing a tank and tight fitting PJ shorts and your bear paw slippers. Your hair is a giant mess. You have no makeup on, which you usually relied on to conceal your less than perfect skin. You never really outgrew acne, even in your twenties. You were also in your glasses. Basically, you felt like a hot mess, somewhat like Princess Anna waking up on coronation day. Even though your movie nights had been casual, you always tried to be at least somewhat put together without looking like you tried too hard.

"Umm come in" You step aside as you cross your arms over your chest, your gaze staying on your feet.

"Sorry you had to see me like this. I thought maybe it was just apartment maintenance. I can go change real quick..."

A look of genuine confusion spreads across his features. "I don't understand.  See you like what?"

You gesture to your entire body. "Like...this! I'm a complete mess, Spence." You try to keep your face down to conceal the redness growing on your cheeks.

Spencer shakes his head before letting out a small chuckle. You glance up, confused as to what about this he could possibly find funny. He better not be laughing at you, seeing as you are embarrassed enough as it is.

He shakes his head, smiling. "Silly girl."

Spencer reaches down and brushes a piece of hair behind your ear. "You always look pretty."

The voice of Mama Cass singing Dream a Little Dream of Me fills the air between the two of you. There's so much tension and you don't know where it came from. Usually you're really comfortable with Spencer. But you definitely feel butterflies in your stomach as the two of you lock eyes.

You definitely can't hide the blush heating up your face now. It seems like he is just now processing what he's said and done because his eyes widen as you see his face turn red as well. He lets out a cough, breaking eye contact and staring down at his shoes as he begins to fiddle with his hands. Your gaze lingers on his hands for just a moment before you turn on your heel and head back towards the kitchen table to finish your cereal.

Spencer follows you, hesitantly, leaning against the kitchen counter. There are a few moments of silence before he finally says "I was at a coffee shop just one block over. I had something to ask you so I thought I'd just stop by."

"Like I said before, you are always welcome Spencer. So what is your question?"

"It's probably stupid. You are more than welcome to say no. I probably would if I were you."

You laugh and roll your eyes. "Wow you're really selling me on this, keep going."

"Well... the team they uh, well sometimes they go out for drinks. If I don't go along they never let me hear the end of it. I usually end up sitting b-by myself while they all head to the dance floor. I j-just thought...I thought maybe you might..."

Spencer looks up, surprised to see you smiling and nodding enthusiastically.

"I'd love to. It's been a couple weeks since I've seen everyone. And honestly I could use a few drinks myself."

A toothy grin slowly grows on his face as he bites down on his bottom lip. He does this all the time but for some reason, today, you find your eyes staring at his lips a little too long after he's done this. Wow, he has really nice lips. Like reallyyy nice lips. How had you never noticed? I wonder if he's ever kissed anyone. He's in his thirties, surely he has. But he hasn't really spoken about past relationships. Then again neither had you.

You accidentally held your gaze on him while completely losing yourself in this train of thought. You are brought back to the present by Spencer calling your name. Your eyes quickly dart up to meet his as you realize just how far down the rabbit hole you had allowed your mind to go. You shake your head quickly, pushing these thoughts far away. It's hard enough to find a really great friend who will stick around that you can trust. You had no intention of screwing that up any time soon.

"Sorry! I'm really tired. I guess I just kind of zoned out there for a second." You quickly explain before returning to eating your bowl of cereal.

"Well I guess I should get going...I'll see you tonight?" Spencer starts to head toward the door.

"Wait! Why are you leaving?"

"Oh well I just though, well...I don't know. Are you saying you want to hang out?"

"You're my best friend here Spencer, of course I want to hang out!"

Before long the two of you had the Goblet of Fire ready to go on the TV with an array of snacks strewn across the coffee table. You noticed Spencer didn't sit on the far end of the couch this time. Instead, he sat almost on the middle. You decide to sit next to him, looking at him to make sure he's okay with it. He only gives you a smile, seemingly okay with this new arrangement.

By halfway through the movie, you had somehow ended up sharing one of your large fuzzy blankets and you had scooted close enough together that your head was on his shoulder. He hadn't said anything but you were fairly certain his breathing had changed as you'd done it.

The two of you had never been very touchy so you're not sure what had brought out this side of you today. Your thoughts start to wander again. Maybe it was the compliment he'd given you earlier. Spencer had never called you pretty, but hearing him say it gave you all kinds of nerves. You hadn't really thought about Spencer in that way. It's been years since you'd had a crush on anyone. You've forgotten what that even feels like. Surely that's not what this was. The two of you were just close. It's not like he'd ever be interested. He was a literal genius, an FBI agent, not to mention he was gorgeous. He could have any woman he wanted. Why are you even thinking about this! You don't like Spencer. Geez Y/N, get it together.

After the movie ends, you sit up and look at Spencer. "Do you need time to go home and get ready or will you be ready to leave from here?"

"Oh, I think I'm ready. I can leave and come back if you like?"

"That's silly. You can just wait here while I get ready, unless you have somewhere better to be" you jokingly raise your eyebrows and shove his shoulder. He fakes like he's been hurt, causing you to giggle. Ugh, why are you giggling? You sound like a lovesick schoolgirl.

You quickly stand up and head towards your bedroom before turning around to Spencer. "You are more than welcome to and food and drinks you find, and you can look through and find something on the TV if you'd like."

You take a quick shower and throw on a robe while you fix your hair and make up. You pull out a curling rod. You had a balayage done to your hair earlier that year, so curls really did look best, making the dark to blonde even more blended. As you look through your closet, you decide to pick an outfit that will give you a bit of a confidence boost. You pull on a spaghetti strap snug fitting maroon, velvet dress. It's a little lower cut than you usually wear, but it comes almost to your knees, keeping you from feeling like you've exposed too much skin. The back dipped fairly low, with the top half of your back covered in a piece of lace. After slipping into some strappy black sandals, you look in the mirror and admire the way it accentuates your curves. You'd been blessed with more booty than chest, so luckily you don't have to worry about showing an inappropriate amount of cleavage around Spencer's coworkers. Your legs also looked even more long and slender than usual. Yep, this was the perfect outfit.

You check your makeup in the mirror once more. Dark lipstick with smoky eye shadow and long lashes. You did this for yourself. You liked being able to feel a little bit sexy every once in awhile. You weren't dressing for anyone else. That is what you keep repeating in your head, and you will keep doing that until you believe it.

You take a deep breath to calm your nerves before stepping into the living room. Spencer is lying on the couch, reading through the book from your coffee table: Edgar Allen Poe's Complete Works. He's so entranced in the book, he doesn't notice you enter the room. Once he hears the clack of your heels across the floor he finally glances up and does a double take. Eyes wide, he opens his mouth to speak but just shuts it again. You can't help but think this was the reaction you had hoped for. Why were you dressing to impress Spencer? Maybe it's because he thought you were pretty when you were at your worst. You wondered what he would think when you put on your best. Based on the growing redness spreading from his face and down his neck, it's fair to say he liked what he saw. You could have sworn you hear him whisper a "wow" under his breath.

"I feel like I'm underdressed now." He finally speaks up.

"You look fine Spencer!"

"Fine? Fine can't compare with...with this!" He gestures to all of you.

You decide to play dumb. "I don't know what you're talking about. I just threw on a dress I thought would fit in with the atmosphere" You shrug. You want to tell him he looks more than fine. That he always looks fantastic, but you decide to keep this to yourself.

"There's nothing wrong with the way you're dressed, but if it bothers you that much I can help." You step forward and look him up and down, trying to figure out the best way to do this.

"You clearly know what you're doing," he laughs. "Go ahead."

"Ok first take off the sweater vest."

Spencer removes his black velvet-like blazer in order to remove a grey, patterned sweater vest. He's left in a dark purple button down with a matching tie, black slacks, and dress shoes.

You step closer and reach out to touch his tie, hesitating for a moment.

"May I?"

He nods for you to go ahead. You remove the tie and undo the top two buttons on his shirt. You then grab his blazer and help him to slip back into it. Lastly, you move your hand up to ruffle his hair a bit. You step back to take in the whole look.

"Well?" he asks.

You roll your tongue to the side of your mouth, biting on it as you try, very poorly, to hold back a smirk. You're impressed with your finished result.

He looks...hot. NO! Stop...nope. We're not going there. He's your best friend. That's all.

He must have noticed the way you've been eyeing him and the look on your face, because he is slowly turning a deep shade of red.

"See for yourself" you say as you lead him over toward a mirror.

After looking over his new appearance, he smiles. You can tell he feels confident like this. Confident Spencer is something you wish you saw more of. You're glad you could help him to see that he can be attractive. You wish he knew that he always has been.

"Come on pretty boy" you say, imitating Derek as you lead the two of you downstairs.

Luckily the bar is well within walking distance from your apartment. When you open the door to step outside the cool night air hits your skin, causing you to shiver a bit. You immediately feel a soft warmth enveloping your arms and shoulders. You look up to see Spencer wrapping his blazer around you. If any other guy had done this, you would certainly make assumptions, but Spencer was such a kind-hearted guy, you know he's only trying to be a gentleman. You give him a quick smile of appreciation as the two of you start to make your way to the bar.

When you finally walk through the doors, you make your way to a corner booth where you see some of Spencer's team...or your friends? You suppose they've really become your friends here. After greeting Penelope, Derek, and JJ each with a hug, you and Spencer walk up to the bar together to order drinks. Spencer orders water, which doesn't surprise you, but you've already decided that he needs a little help letting loose.

"Would you let me pick out a drink for you?" you ask, giving him your sweetest puppy dog eyes before he has a chance to shoot down the offer.

He sighs as though annoyed but his smile says other wise. "Fine, but go easy on me please."

"Two rum and cokes please, and make mine a double."

The two of you make your way back over to the rest of the group with your drinks. You listen to the four of them chat about some recent cases they've worked on. The topics don't bother you much, as you've always found that line of work intriguing. Since you're mostly listening, you finish your drink fairly quickly before Penelope speaks up.

"Enough work talk! I came to dance. Who's with me?"

Finishing your final sip, you slam the glass down on the table. You stand up to join her. "I'm in!"

JJ stands as well. "Alright, lets go, ladies!"

You hand Spencer back his blazer and look to him and Derek, waiting to see if they'll join.

"I'm feeling a little sore after that take down the other day. Maybe I'll join when I'm s a few more drinks in," Derek says.

"I'm okay for now." Spencer sees your hesitation when you realize he wont be joining. "Its okay though! Go and have fun." He gives a smile to let you know that he'll be fine. "Plus I have Morgan here to talk to for now."

"That's right, pretty boy!" Derek laughs as he throws his arm around Spencer, messing with his hair.

You laugh at the two as you turn to join the girls on the dance floor. You're grateful that those two have one another. Spencer is an only child and Derek seems to act in a big brother role. You know that it's good for him.

As you make your way to JJ and Penelope, the DJ is playing Now or Never by Tritonal. You are so grateful for a place that has good taste in music. EDM is just another one of many genres you enjoy. You and the girls are belting out the words together: "I'd rather have one night, than nothing foreveeerrr!"

As the beat builds you pick up your pace on the dance floor, giggling and dancing around with your friends. The beat finally drops and you're jumping and letting loose. You haven't had this much fun in a long time. Towards the end of the song, your gaze lands on Spencer. You notice Derek has left him to flirt with a girl over by the bar. He brought you along so he wouldn't be alone, and here you had left him. You make your way over to sit next to him after ordering two shots. You sit down next to him and slide his over towards him. He catches it as he raises his eyebrows at you.

"C'mon, you're gonna dance with us! I figure it will probably help if you drink to loosen up a bit first."

Spencer stares down at the shot in front of him, clearly questioning whether or not he should go along with this.

"You don't really have to, Spence. But I thought I'd at least try. I don't want you to have to be all alone over here. And I think you might actually have fun, if you gave it a chance. Plus, I can't dance at all! So you'll be fine as long as you stick with me."

This causes him to chuckle. He looks up at you. "Thanks, Y/N. I do appreciate it. I think everyone else has just kind of given up on asking me to join. But since you care enough to try I guess it's the least I can do."

"Woo! yes! Okay...bottoms up?" You look to him as the two of you clink your shots and down them in one quick motion. He seems to struggle a bit more after, since he doesn't do this often.

You hear Dirty Sexy Money comes on and your eyes light up with excitement. "Yes! This is a great song! Come on!" You grab his hand and lead him out to the dance floor.

You can tell Spencer is a bit unsure of himself still. You grab both of his hands and start to move him around, just trying to get him to loosen him. Both of you can't help but laugh. Neither of you are actually dancing well, just goofing off and having fun. Alcohol leaves you with more confidence than usual, so you're singing the song out loud, not caring who hears. You feel your confidence building even more. The problem with drinking is, you tend to get a bit flirty. This is usually directed at the nearest person, and it's usually the worst possible person. You begin to stop caring who's watching or how you're coming across. The song makes you feel sexy and you want to have fun.

Your dancing changes from silly to sexy as the chorus begins. You've got your hands in the air as you do body rolls. Your hips are swaying with the music. You're not sure how they got there, but before you know it your hands are wrapped around Spencer's neck. He looks so attractive to you right now. Your eyes stay locked on his as you sing the words of the song. You're feeling even more bold so you turn your back to him and grab his hands to place them on your sides. You shimmy down towards the ground and back up again. You feel him tighten his grip on you. You turn around to see a wide-eyed Spencer. His face is beet red and he's sweating despite not having danced much. You know that if this was bothering him, he would have walked away. The alcohol is keeping you from caring how this will affect your friendship afterwards. All you can think about is now. His words, his actions today, HE had made you feel confident and sexy. In this moment, you wanted him to know that. You're too buzzed and too busy taking in how good he looks to notice his eyes dart down to your lips, not so differently from what you had done earlier.

The thick tension in the air between you is quickly dispensed as the song changes. As Last Friday Night comes on, you pull Spencer over to the rest of the group on the dance floor, which now included Derek. The five of you end up singing and dancing around together, but you and Spencer can't help but stealing glances when the other isn't looking. Neither of you can forget what happened earlier. The other three share knowing looks.

As the night comes to a close, the group parts ways. Spencer opens the door for you as the two of you step outside to head back to your apartment. Most of the walk is made in silence. He passes his car outside your building and walks with you all the way back to your door. After unlocking it, you turn to him to say goodnight. Once again, your eyes land on his lips, one of his many wonderful features. You find yourself wishing you could kiss him, but your logic tells you this would not be a good idea at the moment. You are aware that your judgment is clouded. So instead, you pull him in for a hug. He buries his face in your shoulder as he whispers "Goodnight Y/N" next to your ear.

You rush inside and close the door before you have a chance to do anything you regret. After getting ready for bed, you are surprised to hear a small alert from your phone. It's a little late for anyone to be texting you. It's Spencer.

Spencer📱I had fun tonight. Thanks for making me try new things. :)

Y/N📱Me too! And good because I have a feeling that was a first of many haha

You fall into your bed, crawling under the covers. It feels comfier than usual, but you know it's because of how tired you are. You take in the feeling of the slick sheets against your skin and the warmth the blankets provide. You fall asleep with a smile on your face, remembering all the events of the night.

A/N: Thanks for reading this far! Y'all are awesome! Let me know what parts you like best!

Have a wonderful week loves 💖

#Spotify