#i would put the “ill do it myself meme” WHICH I DO I HAVE A DEMI HISOILLU FIC but im so slow at writing fics sobs and throws up | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mayxo-hxh · 2 months

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Im about to get controversial.

Out of chrollo, illumi and hisoka, hisoka is canonically the least likely to flirt to get anything he wants, if at all.

A lot of people think he's a natural flirt but I fear I couldn't have disagreed more. He only "flirted" a single time and that was solely to piss off machi, knowing she'd never agree. Hot take? He would've never asked if he knew she'd agree.

Also, bro's the biggest humanphobe in the anime. He keeps his distance from everyone. The only human physical contact he ever made was through fighting people. (If you're a person thats interested in seeing more evidence, I have an entire long thread about it on twitter that I do plan on posting here soon)

so u cannot give me 1 reason for hisoka to flirt with someone at a random bar but chrollo and illumi? i can think of a few.

chrollo, he already canonically flirts to get what he wants. straight up goes on dates gets a suit and shit. he has no reputation among the general public that hes concerned of that isnt the spider. Illumi? He's a manipulator. I HIGHLY doubt he never flirted to get something in his life from people who are too easy to win over. He's someone that wouldn't care what people think of him. He's also anonymous. People have no idea who tf he is anyways. If it affected the zoldyck reputation? Thats a different story.

Hisoka? he would fucking NEVER. Him specifically? HE HAS A REPUTATION. And whats that reputation? That hes an absolute disgusting freak that no one should dare to approach. He kills people. He fights live and makes sure the audience is always disgusted and weirded out by his actions and performances. You look at him and you should immediately look away and pray he hasn't seen you.

So riddle me this. If his entire shtick is making sure everyones afraid of him and avoids him, then why the hell would he get himself a reputation that makes him approachable????

Why would he get himself a reputation that makes you, as a person who only ever heard of him picking people up, want to approach him.

On top of that, I just.. don't see him picking random people up..??? random weaklings that dont even know nen????? he literally treats them like trash that inconveniences his time. You're saying he'd EVER give them the privilege of sleeping with him???

And then you'd say, oh so he'd sleep with strong people! HERES THE THING. Why would he sleep with them..... when he can fight them. Him getting off from fighting comes NOWHERE to actual sex. What people don't understand is that he gets off to killing people and seeing them crumble in front of him when they realize theyre going to die. Torturing people to death. What's... that got to do with like. yknow. actual sex bro 😭😭😭😭😭😭

this turned into a huge rant probably but do you know how genuinely depressing it is seeing a unique character like hisoka that gains lust through FIGHTING and KILLING reduced to. sex addict in fics. Like. be so fucking serious right now. He called himself a FIGHT ADDICT in the manga. Can I see more of him actually spending his time killing and fighting people instead of whatever the hell bros doing with a random npc.

Anyways this is also why I hc him as asexual/demisexual NEXTTTT

#When a fic is so good but they make a hisoka a sex god instead of a murderer. like dear god. Ya Allah. Mercy on me.#can i please get more fics where he absolutely fucking murders people in deranged ways like god (Togashi) intended instead of....#(checks notes) .....sex???#sorry to me this is 1 fanon characterization that i just gag from i cannot physically stomach that shit anymore.#also the way he never touched a single human and is not a touchy person yet the musical made disgustingly touchy with everyone including go #i saw red when i saw that one scene.#thats not fucking hisoka morow thats hekosa pedoro #if togashi wanted him to sleep around he would've so simply and easily made him mention that. Like even leorio said he jacks off.#yet togashi didnt. because HE DOESNT.#HISOKA GET BEHIND ME #anyways asexual hisoka morow canon goodnight everyone #also trans hisoka can we get a little more content of that i know its completely unrelated but pls im starving #i would put the “ill do it myself meme” WHICH I DO I HAVE A DEMI HISOILLU FIC but im so slow at writing fics sobs and throws up #hisoillu #hisoka x illumi #illumi #illumi zoldyck #hisoka #hisoka morow #chrollo #chrollo lucilfer #hxh #hunter x hunter #my post #my analysis

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shmolish · 2 months

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https://www.tumblr.com/shmolish/746176844034981888/sick-shadow-milk-cookie-x-reader?source=share

One shot idea since I got a guess aaaaand I just wanna see your version but I'm curious if shadow milk would ACTUALLY be like this or no? If not I wanna see how he actually acts buuut just to show you my guess on what shadow milk is like:

Shadow milk when he is sick: lalala! I'm perfectly fine! Just cuddle me and I'll be okie dokie, darling! Hehehe! Never stop the fun! (Or short meme version: I sleep)

Shadow milk when y/n is sick: bed, soup, medicine, love, sleep, now! Can't have my beloved feeling all icky! No playtime, only naptime! Sleepytime! You get all the cuddles you want if it helps you sleep but no games, just relax and drink your soup! (Second part of meme version: real shit)

Tldr: shadow milk when he is sick treats it like a joke and a game and not serious...he stops treating illnesses like a joke the moment his s/o gets sick. Think he is gonna joke around when his s/o feels like shit? Nope, he is keeping his s/o relaxed and napping and constantly giving them their favorite soup until he is 100% sure the sickness is out of their system!

AN: I'm pretty sure both of you suggested similar things, which was a shadow milk cookie x sick reader. Been waiting to do this one!!

Shadow Milk Cookie x Sick! Reader

Oneshot (Headcanons below)

Warnings: (Kinda a part two to the sick shadow milk cookie, so some parts might be a little confusing.) One dirty joke 😔 (I couldn't resist, sry)

-Take Care-

"I just have to spend some time alone, haha. Nothing out of the ordinary!" You would say with an awkward smile.

Shadow Milk Cookie would look at you with an unbelieving look.

"Doll, you're not a very good liar," He'd say while crossing his arms.

"Come on, just- for like a few days?"

"A few days? How am I supposed to live without you for a few days when I can't even live without you for a few hours!?"

Shadow Milk Cookie would put a hand on his forehead, feigning a dramatic pose.

"But seriously. What's wrong?" He cupped your face and look at you with those concerned eyes.

The eyes you were in love with, and the eyes that you didn't want seeing your weak and sickly state.

Your face was was much warmer than usual, but he didn't think much of it.

"Ah, could it be-? You just don't like my company!"

"No! It's not that!" You would refute quickly, backing away from him.

"Then what's wrong? Come on dove, you know you can tell me anything."

You sneezed shortly after that, but didn't say anything.

Everything clicked in that moment for Shadow Milk Cookie.

"Oh. My. Goodness. YOU'RE SICK! I'VE GOTTEN MY BELOVED DOVE SICK!"

He would instantly start panicking, beginning to look around the house for different types of medicine and other things that might come in handy.

"It's not really that bad- I can take care of myself..."

He would pick you up bridal style and take you to a couch, wrapping blankets around you.

"My little doll shouldn't need to lift a finger while they're sick. Please, allow your favorite jester to do the work for you!"

He kept digging through cabinets for medicine and ingredients for a soup he'd eventually end up making.

"How come you're taking my sickness so seriously when you didn't even take care of yourself last time?"

He came back with a bunch of ice packs, like.. twenty of them. You didn't even own twenty ice packs.

"Why wouldn't I take your illness seriously? I must make sure that you are safe and happy at all times, and I can't do that if you feel icky."

He offered one of the icepacks to you, which you accepted and just held for a while.

"I don't need this many ice packs, Milk," you would tell him.

"You can never be too sure! And of course, I offer my 200% when it comes to my most beloved."

"I don't even own this many ice packs."

"Now you do! ...Don't look into it that much."

He skipped off to the kitchen again, looking as cheerful as ever.

Of course, it was just a facade. Internally, he was panicking. He barely knew how to care for himself, and now you were sick. What if you died?! Okay, he was probably overreacting, but normal cookies are so fragile. That's why he had to do everything in his power to keep you healthy.

He didn't know what was and wasn't needed, so he just took a lot of everything.

Came back with one of each medicine type that you owned.

"So uh, which one is the one you need?"

You pointed to one of the bottles, and Shadow Milk swiftly measured the correct dosage.

"Alright, so I got you an ice pack, blankets, and you took medicine. What else do you people do while sick?" He would ask while putting a hand on his chin.

"I don't know. Normally they eat soup," you told him.

"That's right! You are so smart, button. Alright, I'll do just that, then." He gave you a kiss on the forehead before wandering off into the kitchen.

Did he even know how to cook? You've never seen him try before, but he's lived for so long, that surely he knew how to... right?

Oh well, he did eventually end up coming back with the food. It actually ended up looking edible.

"Ta-da~ It looks amazing, right? Of course it does! It was made my yours truly." He sat down on the couch next to you, scooping up some soup in a spoon.

"Now, say 'ah'" He held the spoon infront of your mouth, waiting to feed you.

"I'm not doing that."

"Yes you are. Now open your mouth before I shove the spoon down your throat."

"You can shove something else down my throat."

"Haha, very funny. But maybe when you're feeling better~"

Eventually, after a lot of back and forth, you ended up finishing the soup. It wasn't half bad, actually.

Now, the both of you were cuddling on the couch. A movie was playing in the background, and Shadow Milk Cookie was resting his head in your lap.

"Doll, how come you didn't tell me you were sick sooner?" He would ask.

"I just didn't want to be a burden, I suppose."

"You would never be a burden to me. There's a reason I treat you so much better than the others, and it's because I care for you. I know I'm all about deceit and stuff, but this is the honest truth, okay darling?"

You couldn't help the smile on your face. "Okay."

《☆》 Fin

Headcanons

He's panicking 24/7

Even if you tell him you don't want to get him sick, he says he doesn't care

Everything has to be ready for you, and you have to be comfortable

Absolutely no chance of you going out that day

Legit coddles you or is always near you

Even if it's just a small cough, he's canceling all of the things you have that day

Bro is so paranoid

If you're ever bored he performs small puppet shows for you

Makes you go to bed early

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helpfandom · 2 months

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Yandere Stobotnik x Platonic Reader Warnings and Talks!

VERY LONG

CW FOR ENTIRE FIC: Kidnapping, Violence, Implied murder, Explicit murder, Swearing, Death, Trauma, and explicit / implicit threatening. I WILL PUT WARNINGS AT EACH CHAPTER AS WELL.

This is mostly going to be me talking about the book's plot and characters in detail, but if you don't want to know what I have in mind and want to go ahead and read, the first chapter should be up when I publish this just know that this(this being the overview chapter) is like ~4.6 pages.

My hope is that my writing is realistic, the world is not a "perfect world" where the only thing wrong is the Yandere itself. I will try to make it be realistic in how people talk, stutter, need clarification after hearing sentences, have tics (verbal + nonverbal) and have things wrong with them. A preposterous idea, I know, but I plan on the MC having trauma about Robotnik and [the plot of the book], I plan on people having a reaction out of things. In the second movie, some of what they wanted to do with the human characters honestly sucked, there isn't much of the human reactions to stuff that wasn't played as a joke [Wade being held hostage by a man who is honestly, much smarter than anyone else - it was just played as a joke, I get it, Sonic 2 was a comedy, but I plan on something a little different.]

Anyway, I have way to many ideas for this, so it's less likely to be coherent the more this goes on unless I can make up my mind. I decided to make this because it's been on my mind and I haven't seen any for this man soo... I honestly really love Platonic and Romantic Yanderes but Platonic Robotnik has been on my mind lately.

Y/n ideas: What I have in mind for Y/N is that they are a little ambiguous depending on certain things ( Such as preference [Theatre kid, Band kid, Dog preferring, Cat preferring, etc.] or looks [Hair, Skin tone, Body type, etc.]) But have defined traits as personality goes; a Chronically online or a bookworm MC, Y/n is in fact going to be a chronically online MC 1, for the fun of it, and 2, because I can't think of a different personality that may go along with the personality that of Robotnik and Stone. MC will also have 2 mental illnesses (both of which I have been diagnosed with) because I know that it will come out in my writing because of my basis of MC, which I reference to myself. I have been diagnosed with OCD, and anxiety.

(OCD has different types, mine is more pattern than cause related, ex: Hyper focus on a pattern [numbers, pages, days, etc.] or if I don't sit in the same spot everyday then I get bad luck. A good example of passive OCD would be Yes Man featuring Jim Carrey ( *Spoiler to Yes Man* as he notices when he says no, he either gets hurt [him falling down the stairs and the dog after saying no to the old lady] or something bad happens, causing him to notice such patterns and develop a fear of saying no). Sorry I just get mad when people say OCD is just washing your hands a lot or everything has to be neat, because they don't know or bother to learn. OCD is more than that, it is about having control in your life.

ANYWAY, as you may have noticed with the previous paragraphs, I tend to break them up according to how long they are or the information given, not 3-5 sentences, I also have a habit of putting a lot of commas in, but to me, they need to be where if you were speaking, you would take a pause because of how the English language is spoken.

To bring me back to my point of Y/n's character, I said that Y/N would be a Chronically online MC, what I mean by that is they are not so chronically online that they start arguments for the sake of it, more so that they don't know how to talk or interact outside of it, so they bring the internet into their personality by: recreating memes that they found funny in order to seem appealing to the person they are trying to befriend, bringing up things that they found on the internet, specifically talking about fandoms and outside of that, have a hard time trying to talk to people and purposefully bring the subject back to something that they can talk about, and end up being more rude than they mean to because it's the internet, of course there are mean people, so you end up being more rude than you expect in real life because you expect the same hostility that people show online to show in the real world.

On the point of me trying to be ambiguous, I will try to be as ambiguous as I can when writing so that you can leave things to your interpretation of your version of Y/N, such as: "It's a glowstick from one of my performances … " This leaves it up for interpretation as to what performance it was, such as a theatre play, an art show, band show, choir, sports, etc. As to what Y/n looks like, I don't think I particularly care, or will provide such instances minus hair being mentioned occasionally. However, I must mention that I will be having the second language that Y/N knows / is learning is German, so that I don't have to rely on Google translate, I may mess up occasionally though, I am still learning.

I forgot to write the backstory so here's a general overview: Mom + Dad = dead. -So mom dies from a heart attack when you were three, Dad dies in service of the military so then Tom took you in and you have been living there for some number of years, Uh, Age is around 14-15. Smart enough to shut the fuck up when needed but not so smart that they are on Genius levels or anything. Tom, Maddie and Y/n's relationship is loosely based off of me and my parents, just going to force more awkwardness in because Y/n is a technical adoption, however Y/n is comfortable enough to open up, Y/n won't open up about their imposter syndrome or call them "Mom" or "Dad" because Y/n still misses their biological family.

I think that's it on Y/N for now.

Robotnik ideas: Of course Robotnik will be OOC because of the nature of Yandere, but I will try to keep to both my idea of this version of Robotnik and the Fandom's version. In my head there is a clear difference between the two movies and their versions, The first movie version has a poised, regal villain, that slowly delves deeper into rage as the one opponent, one enemy of his that will not die (and also the fact that Sonic can be the one thing that can power the machines without needing batteries or man made electricity, thus creating the world that Robotnik wishes to have, a world with just him and his machines, but Sonic won't let that dream be fulfilled no matter how "righteous" the dream is.) - based off of previous aggression issues stated before from Robotnik threating Tom, as well as the bully and the one dude in the bar. The second movie, however, is much different in the way that he feels like a villain that has now had everything taken away from him and he is now on his last nerve and has snapped at some point in time.

Stone Ideas: Of course, it'll be easy to stay with my version of Stone because a lot of fans agree that Stone is in love with Robotnik, this make him an easy character to stick with, especially with so few lines compared to others related to the plot.

Plot/ notes to keep me on track and not go off the rails with a sonic fanfiction

This will go through both Movie 1 and Movie 2.

We have some set up in the first chapter, show people what it'll look like with Y/N in the movie, also show what it was like with Y/N there, show some of Y/n personality and show off the personality with the rest of the cast. I guess Sonic shows up too-?.

So Y/n is more of a scaredy cat; instead of Y/n constantly being 'sassy' to Robotnik or Stone, Y/n understands the amount of danger that they are in -especially after Tom is labeled as a domestic terrorist.- and would rather come out of this relatively trauma free which leads to Y/n being more of a doormat then intended.

This means that Y/n will be quiet and less outspoken after a certain point because Y/n knows when to shut up and be a people pleaser - this does not mean that Y/n is submissive, just smart enough to shut up.

After the interaction with Tom, Y/n gets scared of Robotnik a little, it is kinda scary to see someone who just threatened to torture your parental guardian, and seeing them have the power to call someone a domestic terrorist, therefore the ability to do virtually whatever to the little town or the people in the name of protecting the country, you of course, wish to not piss said person off, which kickstarts a little portion of why Robotnik gets obsessed with Y/n and Stone.

Something that I noticed about the second movie is that no one seems to care that Stone, someone who is working for the government, actively tried to kill the blue blur, gets to stay at town and everyone's fine with this? Sonic doesn't have any aggression or grudges against someone who wanted to take him apart? No, not in my fanfiction.

My apologies if you made it this far, I realize that I went Essay mode on this stupid sonic fanfiction. Thank you for reading (or scrolling) this far down. :)

#platonic yandere #yandere x reader #platonic x reader #tw yandere #x reader #platonic #yandere #headcanon #yandere sonic the hedgehog #yandere stone and robotnik #yandere stobotnik #yandere stone #yandere overview #helpfandom #helpfandom's writing

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calisources · 10 months

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ITV'S VICTORIA (2016) SENTENCE QUOTES. all of this quotes are taken from across all of the seasons of the tv show, victoria. themes of monarchy, royalty, history and period drama are touched and so this meme might not be for everyone. change pronouns and names as you see fit.

You must go out and you must smile. You must smile and wave, and never let them know how hard it is to bear.

Any damn fool can be Prime Minister, but to leave behind a thing of beauty, something like this, something that people will marvel over centuries from now, that’s worth living for.

When people are hungry they fancy themselves radicals.

True love, in whatever form it finds itself, is just as hard to lose as it is to find.

The problem with a scandal is that the mud does not always stick to the right people.

In the proclamation, I am referred to as Alexandrina Victoria. But I do not like the name Alexandrina. From now on I wish to be called… Victoria.

Sometimes in life we have to do things we do not wish to do.

I’m afraid the truth is vastly overrated.

I know that I’m young. And some would say my sex puts me at a disadvantage. But I know my duty, and I assure you I am ready for the great responsibility that lies before me.

I find myself in a difficult position. I am a Queen and a wife. And to be a Queen I must rule. Yet, to be a wife, it seems I must submit.

A man’s imperfections are considered part of his character, whereas a woman’s flaws are evidence of her unsuitability.

What of worth has ever been achieved which did not inspire fear?

Try to remember what you’ve got. Not what you had.

The public are won over by resolve. If you believe in something firmly enough, they will too.

Sometimes a man must do what he believes to be right. Sooner or later.

Perhaps that’s all marriage is. Presenting an appropriate facade.

People will believe any story if it’s told well enough.

Nothing that makes you happy could ever be wrong.

Men only call women mad when they are doing something inconvenient.

Jealousy is a most tedious emotion.

It’s always easier to give advice than it is to follow it.

It is what corrupts the aristocracy, to have no occupation.

It is hard to be dignified when your feet are six inches from the floor.

It is a mistake to make one’s mind up about a thing before one’s tried it.

Illness is for people with nothing better to do.

If the people get into the way of making kings they might get into the way of unmaking them.

If our children are going to be of value, it is their duty to be the best. Our duty to make them so.

I want them to love me. Otherwise, what is the point?

However many mistakes I have made, or perhaps I’m yet to make, I know I am a better monarch than you could ever be.

Everything changes, Victoria. Except us.

Everyone deserves a second chance.

Every woman sometimes dreams of escape.

Am I simply a vessel to be protected because I am carrying precious cargo?

#rp meme #sentences memes #meme call #roleplay memes #sentence meme #( cali meme. )#rp memes #rp prompt #rp musings #roleplay prompt #roleplay meme

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hikari-ni-naritai · 4 months

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3 6 10 11 12 18 21 23 26 27 29 30 31 36 45 50 52 54 55 57 58 59 60 62 69 (nice) 74 76 86 87 90 95 97

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

man . theyre both kinda. painfully sweet. bubblegum i guess? i also like cotton candy tho its just hard to pick

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

i dotn know what like. most of these words mean. how are half of these related even. tomboy.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

man i fucked hard at dodgeball

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

these days shredded wheat

12. name of your favorite playlist?

the fuck is a playlist

18. ideal weather?

yknow, cloudy, warm, smells like its about to rain

21. obsession from childhood?

warriors cats babeyyyy. and bionicles

23. strange habits?

man i KNOW ive got some but i cant think what they are. i do this wrist flick manoeuver to crack it.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

if im actually out in the warm weather? take a nice walk maybe.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

yknow. i havent done it in ages but i really like doing jigsaw puzzles. maybe put some jazz on.

29. best way to bond with you?

i dunno honestly! i dont have an answer to this one. it takes a lot of time and effort i think.

30. places that you find sacred?

the woods. the woods the woods the woods you have no idea. the woods. its the woods.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

i would die if i tried to do either of those things

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

like...... charlie the unicorn i think.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

fantasy obv

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

god there was something that destroyed me but idr what it was. the hardest in recent memory was me trying to tell a REALLY really stupid joke that wont make sense to any of you. i did not manage to say it bc i was laughing too hard.

52. favorite font?

i absolutely do not have an opinion on this

54. what did you learn from your first job?

you know at mcdonalds in order to work the grill you have to be willing to put your arms under a hot piece of metal that drips boiling grease on you? thats what i learned.

55. favorite fairy tale?

what IS my favorite fairy tale....... we'll go with red riding hood bc her modern interpretations are always the cutest

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

damn what. uhh ok, having to rebuild my entire social life after the shit that happened a couple years ago, the several year process of going from hyperconservative christian to a . whatever the hell i am now. some kind of far left girl. and uhhhh. figuring out i was trans i guess? idk

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

four??? im good at ff14 raiding, im good at writing, im good at.... uhh... im pretty funny i think, annnddddd uhhh. i dont know that its a talent, but i like to think im good at making people feel safe talking to me.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

heh... guess i shotcha... uhh 'god im fucking tired'

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

ISEKAI OBVIOUSLY specifically something like slime 300 but ill take almost any of them.

62. seven characters you relate to?

SEVEN............ god.... uhh hanako ikezawa, hikari finalfantasy (im cheating), (god i got to ONE and already had to start cheating...) yumiella dolkness, man im tappin out. look at my list of ocs i put way more of myself into them than there could ever be in any other character

69 nice. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

i feel like i know how i know most of my fun facts bc if i didnt i would not really know if i could believe them or not.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

like 8 or 9 probably. i dont really go below a 5 so. its gotta be like migraine or vertebral artery dissection bad before im like 'i should really get some meds'. unless im doing it preemptively which ive done for like when ive got raid later.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

man fuckin SCALLOPED POTATOES BABEY

86. cookies or cupcakes?

the amount of qualifiers this question needs.... cupcakes tho probably.

87. your greatest fear?

dying.

90. luckiest mistake?

i mean most of my mistakes havent been lucky, the best i can think of is when i accidentally followed my girl @handinvampirichand and now we're mutuals with wildly different taste in things but we're cool.

95. favorite app on your phone?

i like tumblr

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

uhh mine, my moms, my moms house, my brother's, my dads. jg wentworth 877 CASH NOW. so thats 6

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thefisherqueen · 6 months

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I've caught covid for the first time, after somehow managing to avoid it for almost 4 years, and it thoroughly sucks. I'm far from the only one at the moment (I'm writing this on 8 december 2023) - testing fascilities are all done away with in the Netherlands so the view of the current situation I have is very limited, but I do know that numbers like virus load in our sewers and people in hospital with covid are rapidly going up right now once again.

I'm having a lot of thoughts about it all now, and even though they are far from coherent, I still would like to share them.

In the Netherlands, so far there's been a staggering lack of reflection on anything to do with corona. We have no official moment of rememberance, no monument, no time and place for collective grief. Research into long covid is severely underfunded. There's also been an astounding lack of evaluation into our pandamic response. I've only seen one report so far, and it had a limited scope, pretty much the only conclusion was that the goverment's strategy was 'too fixated on intensive care capacity'. If another new illness will emerge, which of course is only a matter of time, I believe we will make all the same mistakes again.

In summary, I just feel sad and kind of hopeless by it all. The lack of care for the lives of eldery and otherwise vulnerable people, and just for public health in general, displayed during the past years, and all for the sake of corporate interest and personal freedom, is staggering. It all started quite promising, back in March 2020, once it dawned on our government that COVID-19 was a serious illness and that immediate action was required. I myself had basically no knowledge on pandemics yet and the lockdown blew my mind. We were taking action to save lives. I remember feeling hopeful.

But pretty much from the moment we emerged from the first lockdown, our government has each time waited with taking measures until the last possible moment. In comparison to the rest of the world, response was not the worst (at least no outright corona denial or 'drink bleach' here), but it was not good either. The Dutch government basically went 'this is fine' meme until hospitals overflowed (long term health care facilites were barely even considered) and then they panicked, putting lockdowns into place again while those are only really meant as an emergency measure when all else fails. Coherent, preventive measures like testing, masks, clear information, ventilation, contact tracing and isolation were never properly put into place.

And now we've lost tens of thousands of lives prematurely, hospital patients with covid still vastly outnumber those with influenca even in bad years, many still report pandemic-related mental health issues, and an estimated 90.000 people in the Netherlands currently have long covid, including a good friend of me.

I feel like all were in a traumatic event that isn't even over yet, and we're barely even talking about the impact, and the next one will inevitably come and likely just be as bad. It's just a lot.

#corona #pandemic #covid #personal #rambling thoughts #feels good to get this off my chest #covid19 #I'll be fine I hope #netherlands #europe #dutch things

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evilichu · 7 months

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i got to document a whole splitting episode. you can even see the point where i started getting riled up. damn. bitches be crazy (bitches is me)

you:

i don't know how to feel about you. i look inside and there's anger, fear, love, even attraction still. but which one of them is the appropriate response? which one is the way to go, which one is the least mentally ill?

we're friends, aren't we?

everyone tells me that being friends after a breakup is impossible. but i knew that if there is someone in the world that i would fight for to make it work, that would be you. so now, when i see you put no effort in our friendship i wonder if it's all my fault.

am i expecting too much? is it because my feelings for you are stronger than yours? am i splitting on you? am i victimizing myself of are you actually forgetting that i exist?

and there's the other side— the one that tells me you're a piece of shit. you're so focused on your own little world that you forget that i exist. you're selfish. you don't care that i had to put all my feelings aside to be your fucking friend. you don't give a shit if we don't talk for days, weeks, maybe even forever. you don't put time and effort into friendships, you let them die and then you excuse yourself "oh we just drifted apart", "i was just too busy". and that's what you're doing to me.

i'm so fucking angry at you. because you keep fucking promising things. and i hold onto them. you said we were going to be friends, and that you weren't going to leave me. but you're leaving now and i can't do anything. you have no idea how much it hurts not being worth staying.

why are you doing this to me all over again?

i've started being dry when you do text me. i'm sure you've noticed, but you're not gonna ask if there's anything wrong. you send me memes on ig and my blood boils whenever your name pops up. what a shallow way to keep in touch. that means nothing to me.

i wish i could say something. i don't even want to beg anymore. just let you know that when people ask about us, you're not allowed to say we drifted apart. tell them you didn't care enough to talk to me. tell them i wasn't worth the effort.

#important people: lucas ☕︎︎#bpd #bpd diary #bpd life #actually bpd #bpd favorite person #bpd thoughts #quiet borderline

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greenbetula · 10 days

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For general questions - 1, 4, 7, and 8!

For trial questions - 3, 4, and 5!

For prisoner questions - 1, 2, and 4 for Mikoto and John!

waa thank you for the ask!! ^^

Which Milgram character is your favourite, and why?

Currently it's mikoto, but my all time fave is mahiru! These two are so relatable to me and they make me ill i like thinking abt them and their 49894 problems in life :D I also like the fact that they're kinda the odd ones out in the prison (mahiru being a sunny person in a gloomy place, mikoto being the "normal and average" guy) it's just very appealing to me hehe

4. What's your favourite Minigram?

I love the one where mahiru throws a sleepover with mikoto and kazui and the one where she gives amane and yuno new hairstyles!

7. Which prisoner do you think you would get on with the most if you met them in person, and why?

i think mikoto since he could carry conversations even if im not responding haha. yuno and mahiru are good too, once again since they're mostly the ones initiating convos. i also wholeheartedly believe i can be friends w amane and es, come let us talk abt topics i cant comprehend

8. Which prisoner do you think you would get on with the least if you met in person, and why?

haruka and i cant hold conversations, but we will survive w the magic of friendship trust. muu is muu and fuuta is fuuta but i'll be more tolerant of them as time goes one (probably haha)

---

3. Which (number) trial song do you enjoy the most, and why?

i'll just answer for both trials haha

for trial 1 its MeMe and INMF for trial 2! MeMe because i like the contrast and the switching sm, the voice effects is used very well and gives the song a very nice vibe. INMF for the bass and i love her vocals too, i love how she transitions from a cutesy and high voice to a slightly lower and sterner one. i loop meme when im stressed and inmf when i made a mistake lmao

i'm holding myself back because then i'd be here all day lol

4. Which (number) trial cover do you enjoy the most, and why?

i'm very picky w covers so i dont listen to them that much. Psychogram is the only one i enjoy listening to 😭😭 5. Which (number) trial MV do you enjoy the most, and why?

for t1 i like weakness because of the collages! i cant imagine how hard it must be to make for the crew but its very beautiful. i love how it gives off a very nostalgic and whimsical vibe while also being scary!

for t2 i like cat because i see lots of colors, i instantly like it 👍 --- 1. What do you think of Mikoto + John and why?

aaaa mikto and john!! i like them very much they make me ill they make my head hurt im gonna fistfight them when i have the chance (im winning) im dissecting them im putting them in a petri dish such interesting creaturs

2. What are your headcanons about Mikoto+John?

i have lots of headcanons for them haha

mikoto likes horror movies, john has (accidentally) befriended some stray animals in the neighborhood and mikoto got scared when random animals just started following him around after work, they own a body pillow (w a hanged man design bc yeah), mikoto has kept the same hairstyle since high school, john has a sweet tooth and he has a very awkward/forced looking smile

i forgot the rest

4. What do you wish more people understood about Mikoto+John?

i actually dont know anything abt what ppl dont understand abt them haha. perhaps more discussions abt how mikoto and john sees/forms relationships with other people? probably? maybe how mikoto is like a mannequin? the way both of them put value on themselves based on their perfomance or something? (like mikoto w work, john w protecting mikoto, paralleling kotoko's relationship w justice) and seeing themselves as tools/stepping stones for the purpose they serve? which feeds into mikoto's isolation from other people??

#yippee i get to ramble again!#mlgrmposting #my ramblings #mailbox #my stuff

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a-gassy-antelope · 3 months

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Miscellaneous Tag Game

Made by the one and only @ronald-speirs <3

Thank you for the tag @grumpy-liebgott ! Am I finally doing this after being tagged almost a month ago?....maybe

Favorite place in the world you’ve visited?

I haven't been many places truthfully. I loved hiking near Niagara Falls and also hiking in the Smokies near Gatlinburg. (I'm going to Alaska later this year so that will likely take the cake for me!)

Something you’re proud of yourself for?

Working 3 jobs while also caring for a terminally ill parent. Not to get too sad, but yeah, that was a time.

Favorite books?

Oof, gonna age myself with this. The Harry Potter will always hold a special place in my heart even though it has aged terribly. Because I am Furniture by Thalia Chatlas made a big impact on me as a teenager. One Flew Over The Cukoo's Nest by Ken Kasey is a favorite classic. Recently Dead Inside by Chandler Morrison kept me very entertained with pure shock value (although I just finished The Slob last night and it by far takes the cake for the most disgusting thing I've ever read)

Something that makes your heart happy when thinking about it?

When I think about the people I choose to surround myself with. I am a very open person with those I love. Once someone is in my inner circle I am a no boundary kinda person. Let's cut the small talk and bare all our trauma and then tease each other about it. Let's rot on the sofa together. It makes my heart happy to know that I have people I can be like this with.

Favorite thing about your culture?

...what culture... I could say there's a certain culture of the American Midwest that i love. Mainly the 'midwest goodbye' where you stand in the front door chatting for way too long, then in the driveway then in your car with the window rolled down. Also, ever had a midwestern dessert salad?????

When did you join the HBO War fandom? What was the first show you watched?

Well, my brother is older than me and he was very much ww2 obsessed. So watched Band of Brothers way younger than I probably should've. Probably when I was like 8? When I got into my career there was this song at work that would play and it felt so oddly nostalgic until one day I realized it sounded the intro credit music for Band of Brothers. Then it was put on Netflix and it was all down hill from there. Very different to watch again as an adult vs what I remembered from my childhood.

Have you read any of Easy Company’s books? If so, which ones were your favorite?

I just finished Dick Winters' memoir not that long ago! I think I'll read Shifty's next!

Favorite HBO War character and your favorite moment with them?

Everyone in b.o.b is my precious baby. See that generic white man? Yep, thats my child. Honestly though there are certain quotes from various characters that just scratches my brain. Buck with: "Your ass?!" Webster with: "You ignorant, servile scum! What the fuck are we doing here?" and the cadence in which he says "Don't salute the Germans!" Liebgott with "Hershey Bar!" Winters with: "What's that? A piece of paper? I dont wanna see another piece of paper" and Speirs with: "You talk to an officer you say 'sir' " (totally not because it made me feel some type of way)

Do you make content for any fandoms, if so; what sort of content?

I have made Band of Brothers stuff here on tumblr, classic text post as memes. Ao3 I've made Band of Brothers, Star Wars and My Hero Academia content!

Favorite actor/actress and your favorite film of theirs?

hm....that's hard to pick a favorite. Meryl Streep is always delightful, as is Gillian Anderson. Natalie Portman? Keira Knightly? ok, ok, maybe I should list a man...James McAvoy. Jack Nicholson. I dunno, I don't like picking favorites.

Favorite quote/s that you wish to share with others?

"I paint self portraits because I am so often alone...Because I am the person I know best." This Frido Kahlo quote really sticks with me because I feel like I can relate to being isolated and enjoying spending so much time on my own. I am my best companion and draw from my own experiences and emotions.

Random fact your mutuals/followers don’t know about you?

I am a licensed massage therapist and I work with patients with chronic pain and injuries. I love my job and my patients even though it is a very draining profession.

If you’re a writer, do you need a beta reader (say yes so I can be your beta reader 🤭)?

I am a writer! I want to say that I'm open to beta readers but I am also simultaneously afraid of others reading my work and embarrassed that people might not like it. That being said, I am working on a multi part Winnix fic rn.

Three things that make you smile?

My pets: a cat, 2 snakes, 2 leopard geckos and a pink tongue skink

Sweet gestures from my partner (or their dumbass jokes)

Writing!

Any nicknames you like?

Instead of Alex, a friend once called me Al Pal and I'm bewildered that it took me over 20 years to ever hear that.

List some people you love to see around on tumblr!

Uhm, everyone???? I love seeing people share whatever they're passionate about or find cute and funny. I love when people love things unapologetically! @grumpy-liebgott, @blueberry-ovaries @lewis-winters @easycompany123@andromeddog @hanniewinnix and honestly so many more!

What would you do during a zombie apocalypse?

I have two options. Get to my Marine Corps brother who is a borderline doomsday prepper but lives an hour and a half away or die immediately.

Favorite movie?

Again with the favorites? Some of my comfort movies include: Pride and Prejudice (2005), Mamma Mia, Hellboy 2 The Golden Army (specifically 2, not the first one) and Coraline

Do you like horror movies?

Yes! If my above mentioned books weren't an indicator. I love modern paranormal, 80s slashers and any Vincent Price movie

Tagging (no pressure!) : Also, Sorry if you've already been tagged! (does anyone else get nervous tagging people for no damn reason?)

@hanniewinnix, @pettypumpk1n @multifandomfanfic @hbowarandchill @fxxiva

#getting to know people #Why does doing this make me so nervous?

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sheviolentlyher · 1 month

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damage.

i have always known that i haven’t ever hated him because of my love for him. It is potent and he liked the way i loved- he let me love the way i wanted to love— an unbreakable bond of both love and pain- that is shared only it separates into the portions that belong to us.

maybe- i have just ended a undiagnosed bi polar episode. — but who is to say that i am even ill— mentally— I don’t feel sick- so why cherry pick it? it’s why it’s hard for me to be on media— everyone thinks they know the brain- everyone’s mental illness turning into a meme- no one really cares, besides I am convinced we are all sick, but even then I refuse to say im sick- I keep thinking I am just naive in my life experiences— I am very aware of myself, maybe too much so that it’s now dysmorphic and I have to look away— not because I think I am ugly or sick— because I have studied myself so much that it makes me FEEL sick.

i have to start trusting the beauty. i have to start trusting myself like i do strangers. in a world built for productivity, anything that slows you down makes you a liability, and its like one big fucking concentration camps we call “cities”, “towns” — don’t fucking look at me like that— ZOOM OUT.

we are all kept. —- but we are not trapped. we have the ability to obey AND free ourselves at the same time. knowing it’s the societal order that is sick- not you—- is obedience and freedom a tragic love story?, or is it all a fucking lie?

i am standing still but my head is glitching every which way — but no one can see so they just keep calling my name— so i snap out of it and scream “ WHAT!?” ———

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME!?”

haven’t i given you enough? haven’t i died multiple times by my own hands? Haven’t i been your stupid little loyal fucking slave girl?

what is it now? what about ME motherfucker? WHAT ABOUT ME. ——- is this self pity?

someone fuck my brain. slow. deep. put your fingers through my skull and touch all the creases of my moist membrane. you wouldn’t survive. i would consume you, you would leave your body and watch us fuck.

you lucky motherfucker.

-x

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azherwind-art · 1 year

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About reposts

So today for the first time, I found someone had re uploaded one of my comics into their instagram account without asking for permission first, I got notified by a commenter who tagged me on the picture to let this person know I also had an instagram account since they had only given credit to my tumblr url. After I expressed my discomfort with the images being uploaded without my consent the user quickly erased the post, and did not block me. Now, I absolutely do not think there was any ill intent by this person, and that it was just in the spirit of sharing something they enjoyed, I also think they must not have known about my instagram since they were clearly intending to give credit to the original artist (and seem to do so with all the other re uploads on their account) so I’m convinced this was in good spirits. If that person is a follower of mine (which they may not be) I just want you to know I hold no grudges against you, however to you, and all others out there who may think on making a re-upload account with the works of others I feel I should express a few words on why you should always ask the artist for permission on it. Even if you’re not claiming ownership of the piece of work you are uploading, you must still understand it isn’t really yours to take, even if it is published on a public platform and specially if your intent is to share the work it is always best to ask the creator for permission to do so. Like in this case, had this person asked me for permission (and had I granted that permission) they could have known I have an instagram account myself and been able to use that to give me credit in the post, instead of just the tumblr url. Which would be much more effective since when you ask people to jump platforms they are much less likely to do so, for any user jumping platforms is far more work than just clicking on my tagged account and immediately be taken to it. Otherwise you may even be taking more views away from them rather than helping them (at least in this case the re-upload had considerable more likes and such than my original post that was also on the platform) What I mean is, if you want to respect the artist and help them grow and expand their viewership then always ask them, they will always know best how to better give exposure to themselves and will be able to provide information and links. Now, I understand why that process is slower, more annoying, maybe even nerve wrecking cus you may fear you will anger the artist, well let me assure you, if your intent is to not upset anyone, and they are indeed against you re-uploading their work they will always be more angry and upset to find out you’ve already done it without asking than what they would been by being asked about it. Maybe they won’t give you permission, but it is their work, and it’s best to respect that, you just have to accept it. In my case, I tend to be very open to people re purposing what I do, most often when I’ve been asked to use my work, for dubbed videos, avatar pics, meme pics and so on I’ve happily accepted and simply provided and requested some link and contacts on my plaforms to better help me increase my own viewership. Artists even when doing fan art, put a lot of work, time and effort into it, so please always think in how what you do with their work can affect them, many of us do use those pieces of media for our livelihood (and living of art is hard). So please, to anyone out there that wants to use my work, just ask me about it, I promise I won’t bite. To all those of you who have asked me, I’m always very thankful to you for taking the proper route to do this and very flattered to know you take interest and enjoyment of what I do.

#long post #azherwind #re uploads #respect artists #sorry for the rant #this had never happened to me and im actually not mad but I thought it would be good to address it #and share some opinions on the point of view of the original poster #I just think is good to spread some insight on the matter #thank you all for liking my work!#and thank you to the tmnt nation for the likes and reblogs #its been my best post of the year

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astranite · 10 months

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vent post because I am a mess and i've just got to stick it all somewhere. I don't even know what or why I'm putting it here. Just there is way too much inside my head.

(trying to stick all of my intensely personal bullshit under a cut)

Just a whole pile of stuff. (this isnt even the half of it). A whole bunch of things I thought i was okay about but maybe I'm really not. And that maybe my whole scale of okayness is kinda fucked up. And i seem to randomly swing from telling myself this is fine to no wait its all pretty fucked up. Basically that meme of the dog in the on fire house going this is fine. Welcome to everything is on fire but we're not freaking out about it because we're past that point. But sometimes it feels honestly okay and then something else hits.

Nothing in my life is even that bad. I'm getting my shit together. Its probably better than it has been in a while (or maybe its not, i dont know). I'm making positive progress towards the future. I drafted a job application. I'm trying to unfuck my tertiary studies. I literally keep telling myself I'm an adult, even though I feel like a fuck up kid still.

I just want to move the hell out. So I'm making steps towards it. Not because its bad, bad. More conflicting access needs I guess. And I feel trapped here and on guard and responsible for everything. Or Im just a problem or have problems because clearly everyone else is fine but that's probably not a great way to think.

Not sure what I'm feeling right now. Actually mostly just numb and vaguely ill. Yay for crushing down all your emotions until you can't feel them any more. Because, yeah, I can't be upset about things. It scares and worries people and I'm already way too intense.

And when I do it, i seem calm and fine to people, and hey neither crying nor panicking has be a good thing. Except I'm blank when I know I'm upset or would be, and its not fine. Honestly probably a bit messed up. Huh.

(I know its not good for me. I am so very aware of this) (i know hiding stuff is literally one of my biggest 'things are getting bad' red flags)

I'd probably be way more okay if I was crying and yelling and getting mad about stuff. Instead of just quietly, calmly imploding. Or walking around and smiling and acting normal. (its only sometimes, not all the time. And just happens to be right now)

Also past shit keeps metaphorically walking up to me, and maybe I didn't process it great. because its evidently still bothering me even though its years ago.

(Yes, realising some of this stuff was a That moment when you're writing and you realise that wow character has a whole bunch of issues. Then that was at least 50-70% me.)

I do keep picking myself up from the floor over and over because I'm too stubborn not to.

Also: I'm so sick of being misgendered by family. Like they do support me and are trying with different pronouns. But getting it right barely any of the time. And if I call them out on it to correct them, then they get upset. So I just have to put up with it silently, and yeah, she's trying, so I feel like I can't be upset about it but it still hurts, and maybe its not good enough. And I don't even know whether I could change my name, at least not without upsetting peopl, I've been told "please don't change you name, I like your name" but I don't even know if it feels like me. It's like people are supportive, but being nonbinary or trans or anything isn't actually a valid option. They/them isn't that hard if you practice it and even if it is it's still very much important to me. And none of them think of me as such which is maybe the problem. Except my friends, who actually do get it right which is nice.

I guess I'm struggling. And also all my friends and family have way too much of their own stuff going on.

So stupid vent post yelling into the void, it is then. Maybe I'm just being dramatic about it all.

I'd say I'm okay and don't worry (if anyone's even fucking reading this) but that would probably be more concerning. But I'll survive this like I survived every other fucking thing the universe has thrown at me.

(and I will and have asked for help, so stuff is at least sort of getting sorted, because this is not my first mental health rodeo.)

#AstraStuff #I dont know what the fuck this all is at this point #just that writing this is probably better than just rotating in around in my head #like a particularly messed up microwave #there is very much a temptation to delete this but instead here i am throwing it to the void

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lordoftablecloths · 10 months

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vent post i guess i dont know i just wanted to write stuff down instead of just go ing to bed and crying over it you can just scroll past it

im fine im sane im noramal im so unbleiveably cringe ,, the only person i have irl- fuck, or even online for that matter- to show the dumbass things i write is my silly little dumbass younger brother who doesn;t understand what im trying to get at and i guess its not his fault, i seriously doubt he's spent unhealthy amounts of time making various short scenerios in his head about charcters he came up with and eventually trying to give them a story and write little things about them in google docs because where else am i supposed to put this and its just ,, he doesnt know wht im trying to do and i dont know how to explain it to him because the "history" i gess behind it is so fucking complicated by now that these characters arent even the same characters as they were when i originally created them, other than some physical attributes and their names and he just knows them as the random cringe shit i made up in middle school but so many years have passed by now that these stupid fuckers whose only purpose to serve is to make me stop remembering that i exist and ive gotten too attatched to them because who else was i supposed to get attatched to when i was going through an identity crisis at the time- and, quite frankly, still fucking am- and it was so much easier to pretend i dont exist and just project my flaws and insecurities and underlying subconcsious thoughts into these charactes that no one knows about except me and oh god im just created a long ass vent post on tumblr that no one's going to read and no one understands the story behind fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck whatever ill go ahead and post this unfinished thing because no one's going to get it either way ill probably delete it later if it doesnt get buried under reblogs

dont think too much about this i just got sad because my brother was giving me a bunch of criticism on an outline of a story i was working on- which is fair, i need to take criticism- but he only knows the characters in it as their semi-formed cringe versions so i chickened out half way and now i feel bad because i was really proud of this thing for the whopping span of like one day before i decided to show it to another human person instead of letting it rot away inside of me like i usually do and now i feel bad about my writing skills

im trying so hard to just take his words with a grain of salt because this kid does not have nearly as much experience with writing as i do, but i feel like im copying too many of my inspirations (DnD, generic fantasy story about defeating evil creature, silly tropes, etc,,) which sucks because that was just like the first two pages of the outline and theres nine fucking pages and like the second half of it was what i put the most effort into and i felt like the ideas were really origianl but i could make myself let him naturally get to that part of the outline because i was starting to feel really bad and wieerd and oh god he is looking at ideas i havent ever expressed to another human person even though i am very familaiar with because i came up with them and they havebeen in my head for at least a year or two by now and have been haunting me ever since so instead of skipping ahead to the parts that were really good in my opinion but would have made no sense without context i just told him to piss off i gues s

i dont know. i feel dumb. i feel stupid. ive put so much effort into this stuff and the concept that ive been wasting my time feels like too heavy of a weight to handle. god none of this porbobably nmakes any sense ,,,,,,,,, i guess this is why i feel miserable when the fanart and shitpost memes i post get a comically larger audience and attention than the art relating to my silly goofy ocs, because these stupid fucking characters are all thats keeping me going . call me cringe, but is it still cringe if the concept that maybe i too can be around people that love me and instead of having to like me in spite of my faults love me for them keeps me from fucking killing myself is it still cringe?

if a tree falls in a forest and no one's around, does its fall even make a sound? (shit piss fuck sorry i dont remember the original quote and all i can remember is tha t one line from that one musical i dont remember what it was)

if an autistic moron that cant even talk to a cashier without having a panic attack makes a universe full of fictional characters of his own cfreation then an alternate universe, then several alternate universes, then a spin off from that original universe and etc etc but its all just on google fucking docs and no where else except deleted excerpts from a dead wattpad account, did he ever even create anything at all?

its pointless. its all so fucking pointless. its a waste of time. why do i do this at all. its so fucking pointless. it makes no fucking sense. you cant just make a story with characters in it, then make a fucking fantasy au of that universe with the same characters but with different designs and wildly different personalities and then make a whole fucking complicated lore-filled story about the fantasy au version while the original universe's story is still left mostly unfinished like forget about a first draft of the text i havent even finished the first ddraft of the outline yet buckarooooooo

okay fuck you guys thats all i want to tell you im going to go pretend to myself to try to go to sleep and then cry now

#vent #i guess #sorry for saying fuck you guys yall are the only keeping me together and making me feel like i have any importance at all #long post

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atrwriting · 6 months

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understandable. i too, had to pick up my jaw from the floor when i first saw him in that clip behind the scene after the weak punch jace delivered. it changed my brain chemistry.

i feel that way about rhaenyra. i hate her, but at the same time if you think about everything she’s done she’s pretty awful and that makes her interesting to me. any controversial characters end up becoming my favorites because they’re always way more interesting than the good ones. grateful that hotd is full of war criminals.

well twitter has fandoms. once you find one account in that fandom it’s pretty easy to find the rest, and then you’re basically in your own little corner on twitter talking about things you like with mutuals. it’s tumblr if tumblr wasn’t a dungeon where you interact with one person every 5 days.

i have that problem with other creators too, which is why i don’t bother as much anymore. you go out of your own way to send them a message and tell them how much you’ve enjoyed their work and how it’s changed your whole life, and all you get back is an “aww thanks”. very discouraging. like i’m trying to kiss your ass right now and you’re rejecting me? wow LMAO. then again you can’t really force people to engage with you so it’s nothing really

wow i’m putting my whole business on the timeline. i’m shy but i’ll message you if that’s okay because i haven’t spoken to anyone about the things i like in SOOOSOSOSOSOS long like my god i’m about to implode fr lmao

THE WEAK PUNCH!!! I KNOW!!!! like when he was just straight faced. i was like — oh — my god. oh my god. and his eyes are empty besides like registering prey if aemond is a predator? FUCKKK. i was like should i feel unsafe or turned on orrrr???? im not sure lmao

i’m also quite happy that hotd is full of war criminals LOL i think your analysis of rhae is so spot on. like i root for her, but why am i rooting for her?? why do i want to see her win even though i don’t trust her and i want alicent and aemond to just have one slice of happiness and what she has had???

i think i relate to alicent in a lot of ways and that’s why i can’t help but love her. she annoys the fuck out of me a lot — but also she’s so much stronger than me. like i would totally clap back at disrespect but she always remains poised because she knows if she waits for the perfect moment she can execute something way better than if she rushes a plan. i think my favorite scene is after viserys dies and she’s like battling taking the throne and what’s morally right and im like MY QUEEN 🫡🫡🫡

the twitter thing sounds so fun. i don’t see a lot of fandom memes but i would be so excited if there was just a platform (like twitter seems) for memes. what you said about the dungeon is so funny omg i’m cackling

dude i’m so glad you said the thing about rejection. like i know creators don’t owe readers like us anything, but like it’s tumblr — you don’t want to build community? like if you just wanted to write — why aren’t you like writing a book under a fake name or are just on ao3? like sorry to have bothered you ill just go fuck myself 😭😭😂

omg PLEASE message me we will be besties 🫶🫶🫶🫶

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duhragonball · 9 months

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Nanwum Schemin'

I finished my August writing challenge tonight, and I'm pleased to say that I managed to hit 20,000 words and that's actually enough to cover this year's Christmas special. I tried this last year, but I only wrote 15k in September, and Red Christmas ended up being 32k long, so I wound up writing more than half of it in December anyway. This time, I took that into account, which is why I used August instead. I figured if Blue Christmas ran long, I'd be able to use September to finish it off, but it looks like I managed to fit the entire plot in 20k, so that's satisfying. I need a little more to finish the ending, and there's some stuff I'll want to add and take out, but overall, I have a working first draft that I can have ready for AO3 without much trouble.

I still have to figure out what the hell Yellow Christmas will be about. I saved that one for last, since yellow is the Luffa color, but I think I've used up all the good fanfic AU tropes by now, so I'm gonna have to get creative. But that's a problem for 2024, and I'm here to talk about the fall of 2023.

Concerning the Apocrypha Liveblog, I plan on wrapping up some loose ends in September. Super Dragon Ball Heroes episode 50 came out last week, so I can write about how the Aeos arc (we won!). I also want to knock out the DBS movies, and I think the DBS Manga will probably be done with their Super Hero adaptation, so I'm penciling that in as well. Whatever's left over I can deal with in October or later.

November is NanoWriMo season, and this will be my 7th entry in the event. I don't count my ill-fated attempt in 2003, since I never logged it with the website, and I had no idea what I was doing and flamed out by the second or third day. But I've been doing these since 2017 and I've been racking up wins ever since. I'm feeling confident at the moment, so I'm going to try to set some goals for myself, which I'll put under the cut.

Looking back at my past runs, I've had some good years and some difficult ones where I didn't reach the 50k goal until Day 29 or 30. I always find it more satisfying to finish early if I can. My preference is to have things wrapped up by Day 20, so I can write more stuff in the overrun, or start editing and posting, or just slack off for the next ten days. It's always enjoyable, so I think I need to make this a priority.

For a number of years, my objective was to boost word count and reach certain milestones in the Luffa storyline, but I passed one million words last year, and this year I've nearly finished the Xenoverse 1 adaptation, so things are a little different. I think I can afford to think about how to improve productivity, rather than how to hit certain plot points. So we'll aim for that.

Currently, my earliest win date is Day 17, which I pulled off back in 2021. So I'm going to try to hit 50k on or before Day 16. Here's how.

This month, I learned I can get more done by breaking up my large word goals in to 500 word chunks. To finish by Day 16, I'll need to average about 3000 words a day, which is something I've always struggled to do consistently, but now, I think I can make that work. The idea is to devote six hours across a day, where I write 500 words in each of those hours. It really seemed to help me out this month, so it's time to see if that technique can push me further.

One other thing I want to try is to break my personal record for one-day writing totals. Currently, that stands at 7023 words. So I've chosen three days where I can attempt to do that. I'd like to do more than jut hit 7024, though. 9001 would be pretty sweet for the meme value, but it sounds really daunting.

The important thing here is that I give myself permission to fail. If I can't maintain 3k per day, that's fine, because even falling short of that goal still makes good progress. If I can't make it to 7k or beyond, that's fine too, because wherever I land, it's still a lot of progress. And if I'm not done by Day 16 it's fine, because I'll have two weeks left.

But I think I can do this. The rewards would be sweet. AEW Full Gear is on the 18th, and it'd be pretty great to just have a lazy Saturday where I watch that instead of writing. NJPW will probably run their World Tag League shows between November 15 and December 15, so I'd have the whole second half of November freed up. And mostly, I like the precedent it would set if I could consistently land 3k in six hours or less. I feel like that's something I need to prove to myself.

If this is going to work, I need to do some solid plotting in October so I'm ready. I do reasonably well with "they fight" as a prompt, but if I have a list of spots and story beats to work with, that would cut down on the indecision that usually holds me back.

#nanwum vii #never too early to be thinking about it

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rookflower · 2 years

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ok, so. i drew every warrior cat! here's a long rambling sentimental reflective-type post on the blog i guess.

I started this blog when I was 15, in 2018. I was bored at a summer job, scribbled Onestar on the back of a sticker sheet, and thought "huh, there sure is a lot of Warrior Cats characters! I've seen some design blogs around, I think there's a "draw 100 cats challenge" people do, wouldn't it be fun if I gave that a try?" I had nothing going on art-wise at the moment, I was losing steam on my Pokemon webcomic and had given up askblogs a while ago, so I quickly fell into it.

Starting out was weird- I'd only read up to about Power of Three at the time, and hadn't read TPB or TNP in quite a while. I vivdly remember someone sending me a request to draw Tawnypelt about 20 cats in or so, and I genuinely couldn't remember who she even was. I think I got a request to draw Jagged Peak before I even knew DOTC existed? I wasn't working off of a specific list, and would miss certain cats out entirely due to forgetting them which frustrated me. Drawing cats was fun, and once I got to 100 eventually I found myself going "well, now what? I haven't even drawn Sorreltail, Nightstar, Appledusk, Spiderleg..." so, i kept going!

Then 2020 rolled around and lockdown hit, and I was suddenly stuck in my house with no plans, seemingly unlimited time, and a desperate need for some kind of outlet that offered escapism from the world.

Drawing Warrior Cats was something mundane and rhythmic but creative and enjoyable, and I found the aspect of looking at it as a challenge alluring, the same way I had when the goal was "100 random warrior cats". How far could I get before having to stop? I couldn't do over 1000 cats, right?

uh.

I could!

sunk cost fallacy or whatever, I guess?

Lot has changed in my life over the course of this. I started the challenge just after leaving high school, and now I'm headed into my third year of uni. Some family's moved around, we have a cat now, I started playing video games again, my bedroom's been revamped, I met some internet friends IRL for the first time, I'm more or less publicly out as gay, all different kinds of stuff. It's fucking wild to consider that one of the biggest constants in my life these past few years has been drawing goddamn warrior cats. I've had the Warriors wiki list of characters open on my computer basically forever, and finally closing it feels like a goodbye.

So what's happening with this blog? Well, I'm not upkeeping a daily queue anymore, that's for sure. There are some cats here I KNOW I'm going to want to go back and redesign at some point though, so this isn't over! Even if I'm less active here, for now, I'm not going anywhere. I'll probably also use this for any general warriors art/posts I want to make, as well as those "send me asks" request meme thingies. those are fun.

I'm hoping to be maybe more active on my youtube now, as well as just generally experimenting with my art more. One of the biggest downsides of spending 3 years drawing fullbody flatcolours of warrior cats and not that much else is that my improvement on every ground except cat anatomy and character design has become pretty fuckin stagnant lmao. I need to make art with backgrounds and shading and non-cat characters again or i think ill explode. time to get out of this comfort zone!!

speaking of, very lucky this thing ended right at the start of Artfight. I'm @/RioBlitzle there and I try to revenge back attacks! Will probably put my energy into that for a wee while.

@daily-mario-characters might come back,, eventually but I'm not promising anything, and if I haven't learned anything from running this blog you might see me on a "drawing every pokemon" streak in a few months. it is how it is.

Anyways, thank you all so much for your support. Massive shoutout to everyone who's ever left nice comments in the tags of my posts, I don't really have a way to respond but I read every one of those and please know that they absolutely make my day.

Thanks for sticking through this challenge with me!

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