#i'm fine all alone

[soliloquent-stark]

💗 artwork by @superdecibels based on that scene from my fic i’m fine all alone (but it’s nice to be here with you) 💗

this was commissioned by my better half @whinysteve and i am super-duper grateful for her endless support and love 🥹

i have no words to express how absolutely STUNNING these panels are; from the insane water ripples and detailed scarring on tony's body (his grey eye 🥹🥹), to the sweetest most blushy steve ever and the infamous yellow bikini, i cannot stop staring at every little stroke. thank you so much for making the scene come alive in such a vibrant way!! ☀️🍹🏝️

#can you believe this is a christmas fic hah #i'm fine all alone #stevetony #stony #stony fanart #fics by soliloquent #tony stark #steve rogers

[adustoflove]

Having bpd to me is like I'm the loneliest person on the planet, no matter how many people I talk to, no matter how many connections I make or have, I'm a lonely void who will die alone. I have to be talking to someone or with someone every second of every minute of every day. I love people so much, I need people. There's so many people out there with different things to teach you. And then, if I have to talk to one person for more than 6 seconds today, I'll kill them. I'll kill myself. I need to be left alone for the rest of the day, I need no one but myself to be happy. I don't want to partake in anything with anyone because it's all draining and taking out of my alone time. Everyone is the same, they're all boring and self-absorbed. Every conversation feels like I'm forcing myself to be actively present. I just want to be alone in my room with nothing or no one. I don't see a future where I'm happy with anyone other than being by myself.

#bpd #bpd vent #actually bpd #bpd thoughts #actually borderline #bpd splitting #lately I've just been slowly moving away from all my friends too #haven't spoken to anyone on insta for days despite usually talking to at least 2-3 friends every few days #irl sent me a video a week ago...never responded. I haven't even been feeling lonely really #I just KNOW when my period creeps up on me I'll be a whining sad piss baby who's openly pathetic about needing human connection #like I wish I just felt no need for it ever. it feels SO good to be alone and not have any obligations as a person #then the crippling loneliness of forever being alone seeps in when tbh I'm fine with it currently actually

[blackkatdraws]

Oh hey a Stannarrator art wowowowow no way I haven't drawn one on two years (just kidding I'm just lazy)

#the stanley parable #the stanley parable ultra deluxe #tsp #tspud #narrator tsp #tsp narrator #tsp stanley #stanley tsp #mine 💗 #stanley x narrator #stanarrator #stannarrator #stannarator #(I really need to draw more of them #but Narratorverse fun uwuowah wauh) #I think also one of the reasons I like Narratorverse so much is because I get to interact with other artists #whereas with Stannarrator I'm basically just drawing all alone (since they're just my own creations) #which is fine #but it feels a bit lonely (and not nearly as fun.)

[aroaceleovaldez]

they girlbossed Sally Jackson

#pjo #pjo tv #riordanverse #sally jackson #this shall be my non-spoiler only review of the show so far #just watched the first two episodes - they were good! #i might make a post about Percy's char so far cause i am very pleasantly surprised so far with the adhd experience vibes #my compliments to the writing team for the good good disabled character rep in this script #very pleased with almost all the characters and plot so far #my only one i'm iffy on is Sally as mentioned ^ they girlbossed her #like. book sally is most defined by her kindness and perseverance. this sally is just kind of. tough. she's tough. girlboss. #which is not necessarily a bad thing? she's still a fine character she's just different #also only semi-spoiler in my review: Chris is there! Love that Chris is there #he's just there! but i am a rogue demigod enjoyer #so his presence alone is appreciated

[rythyme]

really not a fan of boston very explicitly saying "I want to be exclusive romantically but not sexually" only to be told "You're lying to yourself. I think you should be alone."

#like... p'jojo. you gave us 3wbf??? what's going on bud #only friends the series #ofts #am i misinterpreting boston? did I miss something? is this just a poorly executed representation of something else entirely?? #idk this really just did not sit well with me #i love pretty much everything else in this show so i'm disappointed that this was the last thing we got #bc I've been saying this the whole time!! boston DOES want a romantic relationship and he's spent the whole show coming to terms with that #he really does love nick #and he wants romantic exclusivity (see: Boston getting upset and jealous when Nick is with other people) #but physical stuff doesn't need to have the same exclusiveness for him and that's literally fine #idk i just wish that last conversation had been written slightly differently. a couple different wordings could have fixed it all for me #like if Nick had SAID ''i can't do a non-exclusive relationship but i hope you find someone someday who wants that with you'' #that would have been fine #not ''i think you should be alone'' #idk. just really sat wrong with me #lgbt drama #thai drama #theo.txt #100

[mozzaremi]

[synthshenanigans]

someone had to do it

#fine I'm fine & mayday go together so well ironically #which is the point yes #actually made me a bit sad ngl #just a lil bit #btw Mayday is a REALLY good fuckin song like my god #did not think don't take it personally would tie with something #the instrumentals alone are just. ough #that song shot up to my top ten CJ songs overall #top five even #idk yet i gotta list em all again #chonny jash #moss post #this feels like something that ppl would use on tiktok for an angst twist animation thing #which is cool but we cant have cj blowing up on tiktok again #tho it would be originals this time which would be cool #chonny jash power hour

[cairavende]

Worm Arc 14 thoughts from 14.8 through the end:

Gonna get a little bit gay up in here pretty soon. But first, some other stuff.

Pretty much jump right into "Oh shit everything is fucked" with the bio-weapon just spreading everywhere right away.

Skitter's focus on Tattletale specifically when trying to get them to higher ground was top level Chatterbug/Smugbug content. Like sure Sundancer and Trickster too, she wanted to save them. But when Bentley wasn't climbing fast enough what she said to herself in worry was "Tattletale."

Fucking god. Tattletale telling Skitter to fly to the higher building and use bugs so Trickster could teleport them and they'd follow? But fully knowing it wouldn't work and just trying to get Skitter to safety?

"It doesn’t look like her plan will work out. Tell her I’m sorry." - I WAS FUCKING BAWLING

I had figured that Bonesaw's contingency wasn't just a "everyone dies right now" virus or whatever. It would need to be artistic. And it would need to be a punishment to the local capes, both hero and villain. And the way to punish them would be to "take the city from them". "Make them watch it destroy itself." "Make them help".

I feel like what she did covered that general outline with a heavier focus on taking everything away from the capes. But still, god damn Bonesaw. Absolutely fucking terrifying. Super powered face blindness. At the base at least. Don't know who anyone is. Damn.

SKITTER IT'S NOT GAY YET THAT ISN'T TATTLETALE IT'S BONESAW! GAY WILL COME LATER!

If Jack put's his slimy fucking hands on my daughter again I will personally remove them.

The "Don't swear!" from Bonesaw while pretending to be Tattletale was fun. I managed to hit on it before that, but it was a good confirmation.

Fucking Jack and his "You’re versatile" after seeing Skitter make decoys while prepping to tie someone up with spiders. FUCK OFF WITH YOUR DREAMS YOU DICK. YOU CAN'T HAVE HER.

Instantly confirmed when Skitter flat refused to shoot someone despite Jack and Bonesaw telling her to. My daughter might not be perfect but she's not going to be one of you!

Coil fucked up a bit on the phone. He wasn't dealing with the pathogen so he should have done better. Even just asking everyone there to say something so he could listen to the voices. He would have known right away it wasn't Tattletale and Grue. Patching them through to Cherish that easily was a mistake. He really doesn't do as much as he could be. Like ya he's evil but that doesn't mean I'm not disappointed when he isn't using his full potential.

Cherish very fucked up when she thought letting Jack and Bonesaw know where she was would be good for her. Hope she likes her eternal torment at the bottom of the ocean. (Ok there's a chance she'll get pulled out in the future I guess.)

I'll admit, when Amy left with Victoria earlier I wasn't expecting to see them again so soon.

"Panacea is the healer, top floor, Jack is the slasher, the blond girl is the chemist-tinker." I don't know why, since it doesn't rhyme or anything, but I got very "The pellet with the poison's in the flagon with the dragon; the vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true" vibes from this.

Jack trying to convince Amy by talking about how many of her ancestors were successful by being cruel and Taylor just internally going "How many were successful because they cooperated?" Love my daughter.

Victoria is still very much . . . not dead.

HOLY SHIT AMY YOU PUT YOUR SISTER IN A PERSONALIZED FLESH COFFIN MADE FROM CATS AND DOGS?

Seriously. Personalized. It has her face on the outside made out of bone. What the actual fuck Amy?

Proud of my daughter for shooting Jack, even if it didn't work.

It's probably fine that Skitter got Amy to break her brain rule again. I mean like it's good. It was the only way to fix the pathogen. It saved herself and the city. That is all good. Just . . . there might also be some long term negative outcomes. Probably fine though.

Getting gets cured and goes off to cure the city be gay.

"I leaned forward and planted a quick kiss on her lips." - EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

WOLFSPIDER WOLFSPIDER WOLFSPIDER!

SO FUCKING GAY I LOST MY FUCKING MIND WHEN IT HAPPENED

"'You couldn’t have waited until after you’d cured me before you put the bugs on your face?' Tattletale asked. She was smiling as she asked it." - ALSO EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

SO GAY. DOUBLE GAY. EXTRA GAY. ALL THE GAY!

CHATTERBUGCHATTERBUGCHATTERBUG (SMUGBUG IS FINE TOO)!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also the level of effort the girls went through after that trying to figure out how to cure Grue and Regent without kissing? Fucking amazing. Kissing was only ok for these three. Obviously.

GAAAAAAY

Gay (bug)horse girl gay (bug)horse girl gay (bug)horse girl

And the remainder of the Nine got away. Which is pretty fucking bad I guess. What with the whole "end of the world" and all that. I get that story point is the *actual* big end of the arc. But it's been overshadowed. By the gays.

Did I mention things being gay? I just want to make sure. Cause they were. Gay that is.

Interlude 1 - Sierra is amazing. She is exactly who Skitter needs to be running things while she's away. Charlotte is also amazing and I think worships the ground Skitter walks on. My daughter is, as always, absolutely terrifying when described from anyone else's PoV. She only gets more so every time. She just uses bug speak without even realizing now. Amazing. I love her. Atlas is helping and I'm so proud of him. He even got to take the gun. I hope he gets to keep it.

Interlude 2 (thought about making this it's own post but I'll just keep it really simple) - God dammit all three of the big 3 are Cauldron created? Ugh. Legend you appear to be trying to do the right thing but you sure as shit aren't paying much attention are you? Holy shit like, you believed so much of what the Doctor has been saying for years? God damn bud. How could you look at Cauldron and assume they *aren't* doing human experimentation? Especially since you know they have done it in the past! Like god damn man! At least you do kind of acknowledge that maybe you were purposefully ignoring the signs cause you wanted to be ignorant. Maybe there is a little bit of hope for you. Hell of a lore dump interlude though. Gives me lots to think about. Also I'd absolutely listen to The Number Man talk about spreadsheets all day long.

GAY

#Worm #Worm Web Serial #Parahumans #Cairavende reads Worm #The Slaughterhouse Nine #Taylor Hebert #Lisa Wilbourn #Rachel Lindt #Wolfspider #Chatterbug #Smugbug #GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY #SO FUCKING GAY I'M DYING #I'm sure once Vicky wakes up and is released from her FLESH COFFIN that she will be just fine #Maybe a tiny itty bitty bit of therapy will be needed #For real though the first time The Number Man started talking I instantly wanted to be alone in a room with him. #It didn't matter that he was running over the possible outcomes of a end of the world situation and talking about the deaths of billions. #Fucking hell just spreadsheets to me man! PLEASE! #You can give me estimates all day long. #ALSO FOR REAL THOUGH IT WAS SO GAY #WOLFSPIDER WOLFSPIDER WOLFSPIDER WOLFSPIDER #CHATTERBUG CHATTERBUG CHATTERBUG CHATTERBUG

[uncanny-tranny]

It's okay to want to pass or to bind or tuck or things like that, and it's insensitive to imply that trans people doing so is proof they are trying to "conform to cissexism". It is okay to want to transition "traditionally". It is okay to not want that, too. What isn't okay (and will never be okay) is to degrade other people for the choices they make or for the choices they have to make.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #as always: saw something that really missed the mark somewhere else #i've seen BOTH sides degrade peoples' choices and it's bad! no matter why you're doing it! #just stop! *the sound of my scream blasts everything away from me within a twenty mile radius like i'm todd howard* #do you honestly and truly know if somebody or some rando is trying to be cissexist by transitioning? #as somebody who does want to 'conventionally' transition in many ways - you don't know. you can't know #what's more important - degrading people or protecting them? #i'll tell you when you degrade people for no reason you will be alone. you don't want to be alone especially if you're a minority #a trans person who isolates themself because they degrade other trans people - for example - will be alone when they are targetted #that's what i mean. i've seen it a lot more than i care to. it's upsetting and tragic and i hate it. i want it to stop #transition (or lack thereof) is all about you. nobody else. it shouldn't BE solely for somebody else #absolutely there are cases where part of transition is for somebody else and that's fine. but if that doesn't apply that's cool #my transition is focused on me. because i do it for myself and my comfort and my safety and prosperity. because i want to Live and not live #big L live is different than little l live

[yesterdayiwrote]

I know a lot of my followers won't be interested in royal stuff, but my genuine takeaway from this entire 'Kategate' is that this is the media flexing their muscles to try and goad Kensington Palace into revealing Kate's medical situation...

The media has had undue influence over the UK Royal Family for years, and their relationship and positive coverage has always originated from a give and take kind of arrangement. The press influence public mood (not the other way around as they would have you believe) and so the monarchy has always played ball in order to be seen favourably and ultimately keep any rise in republican sentiment at bay.

For whatever reason, KP obviously want to keep Kate's illness private and so have been unusually guarded in details. The statement was always that she'd make a return after Easter, and we're not there yet. The press are impatient though and they are the ones who've driven the "Where is she?" Narrative. They sense there's a story and for once in their lives they're not getting it.

They can't get the story they want, so they're creating a story of their own to fill the column inches. The photoshop story seems bizarre on first glance, it makes the Palace look unreliable and untrustworthy, until the stories emerge that other much older photos have also had editing done on them. It's supposed to sew the seed that they've always been untrustworthy, but the bigger question is why did outlets issue kill notices for this picture but not the older ones? Is it perhaps that it didn't suit their interests to do it before?

Then there's the affair rumours. They're being allowed to swirl again, but it's interesting that no UK publication is willing to outright say what they're hinting at. They may be a superinjunction in place, but then again even overseas publications who can say more aren't really saying anything convincing? Do they have a story that they're threatening to print? Or are they firing warning shots to try and force KP to fall in line and give them the Kate story?

And it might sound insane, that the press is essentially holding the royal family to ransom, but they've done it before, countless times, where they've barraged the royals with negative press in order to force their hand into doing something. Look what they did to Diana, and what they did in the week after Diana died, even how they've gone easy on Andrew because his side of the family is clearly giving them stories to placate them.

Yeah, it's weird. Yeah, she's probably been more ill than they're letting on, but I'm not sure that KP are fumbling so much as trying to give concessions to try and keep both sides happy, but it's too late because the press are out for blood... and they're not going to stop until they get the story.

#Kategate #british royal family #I don't want this to read like I'm some user monarchist #But I've always found the relationship between the press and the royals fascinating #I think it's another example of how the press have always treated the female royals #And how they've started to feel entitled to all their information #Like honestly leave the poor woman alone #If she's still not back after Easter then sure start asking questions #But at the moment she obviously doesn't want to say and... fine?

[soliloquent-stark]

🍹 i’m fine all alone (but it’s nice to be here with you) by soliloquent

9,4k words // pairing: tony stark & steve rogers

—⎊—

“Steve is content with spending the holidays alone. Being alive in a safe world — that was reason enough to be grateful, however fleeting this sense of security might be.

He is more than surprised to learn that Tony plans on spending it alone, too.”

or: Two months after the Battle of Earth, Tony, grappling with post-retirement uncertainty and an identity crisis, invites Steve on a Christmas trip to Jamaica.

written for @thahiree as part of the @cap-ironman 2023 holiday exchange

#sooo excited to finally share this one #fics by soliloquent #i'm fine all alone #stony #stevetony #stony moodboard #stony fanfic #tony stark #steve rogers #iron man #captain america #super husbands #fanfic #marvel #ao3 fanfic #tony stark has a heart #feels #character insight #mcu marvel #moodboard #holiday exchange

[yashley]

“Are you sure it wasn’t intentional?” / “Do you think she might be working for the bad guys?”

#critical role #imogen x fearne #the way they tread with the other is so fascinating to me I know it's only to me so that must mean I'm crazy but like #fearne has this delicacy in her boundless courtesies she really just asks questions others would shy away from but like #the way she asks them the way she words them this reckless fey really is weighing her words and feeling enough to ask even if she’s alone #and there's like this bridge that keeps flickering between imogen and fearne between their moralities and relationship with fate* #that fearne says Well Bad Can Be Good and imogen No I Didn't Choose That If It's Bad and they both have a lot of friction with that it's So #fearne whispers to imogen in the language she Believes imogen Knows but imogen Committed to her goodness pretends she Doesn't and it's Like #the way imogen words that it's like what is She looking for in that answer in fearne but she's Looking with a subtle recognition in that #The Faintest Faintest Nod fearne gives imogen when she says It Just Happened like that's a distinction without difference my dear #but fearne so gently ebbs from further questioning imogen's relationship with Those powers it gets me man #and then you have imogen's Concept of Bad n Good that it's really clearly messing with fearne's own perception Questioning morri #if the ep screenshot isn't ashley and laura quietly side eyeing eachother then thats fine that doesn’t bother me at all #ygifs

[ahollowgrave]

.

thank you to everyone who left a nice comment or DM'd me or whatever yesterday I didn't reply because I get very embarrassed when people show me compassion when I very clearly need it. But I read each one and saved them for next time and I am blowing you kisses and avoiding eye contact, you understand. depression is a known liar and you can't trust her. she is very convincing, however, and so when it gets to you please know I am there holding your hand.

#ooc #sometimes you scream into the void and people scream back that you aren't alone and you're just so shocked that you crawl into a hole #anyway #venting #depression/pmdd double whammy of 'i've never formed a meaningful connection and never will because of *me*' woof #ANYWAY I'M FINE AGAIN #the urge to make a 'lets never talk about this again' joke but there is no nobility in suffering #and i think posting on sm like we sometimes do is an ask for help and there is never shame in asking for help however you need too imo #sometimes the ask is 'please reassure me i'm not just a blank space on the wall' #(but also lets never talk of this again) #<- jokey joke see I'm fine #got some shitty news about the cost of a surgery one of our cats needs but that's ok we'll make it through #everyone say goodbye to all of al's teeth

[crimeronan]

once when i was about thirteen i came home from school and found my mom in the kitchen. she was visibly upset but also doing that Mom Thing where you pretend to be bright and cheerful and fine so you don't worry your kid, even tho it's pretty obvious to said kid that you're upset. (i don't know if this is a universal mom thing but it was certainly a My Mom thing.) i don't remember where my siblings were, possibly they just went off to watch TV or whatever. i was alone in the silent kitchen with my mom when she said "okay, sweetie, this is going to sound crazy, so just bear with me. can you..... can you hear music right now??"

and i closed my eyes and concentrated and..... i Could. there was a tinny little electric guitar coming from somewhere. so i said yeah, and went in search of the source. eventually i found my incredibly old incredibly shitty mp3 player with the headphones plugged in under a pile of junk on the table. the sound was coming through the headphones, bc the mp3 player had been playing lacuna coil's "shallow life" album on repeat all day. the battery was nearly dead but truly had lasted way longer than you'd expect. gotta love that 2009ish tech.

my mom visibly Wilted with relief. and was like. [half-whispering] i've been hearing it off and on All Day and nobody's been home to ask. I Thought I Needed To Call My Doctor.

#spending all day in a huge isolated rural house alone hearing strange snatches of goth metal and screaming floating on the wind... #not the best use of time for anyone let alone someone with Our Particular History. oh no. #(it's not a matter of if but simply when the psychosis sets in. for me it was very early for her it was much later. we're both fine though) #listening to the voices in the bath water made me remember this suddenly. #with my antipsychotics i know theyre not real or speaking to me but i still hear em u know. #there's little guys in there. in the water #bipolar blogging #i'm psychotic tag

[dont-offend-the-bees]

Not to continue my recent trend of oversharing on tumblr dot com, but I am very much struggling not to feel like I'm doing everything in my entire life wrong at present

#normal things to think after your doctor tells you you need to get a blood test re-taken bc you mistimed your dose #I'm just. I'm tired man. #I've been putting off a phone call for two months #i spend every day lately torn between do I need to go to hospital or am I just unfit and anxious #I rot and decay when left alone but also people are Too Much #I want to Create but I can't get started and when I do I'm just so disappointed with whatever I make #I'm exhausted but I'm awake at 4am bc if i go to sleep tomorrow will start and I'll have to do this all again #and I need so fucking badly for someone to just crush me so hard in a really long hug until my bones realign #and i need to find past me shake her by the shoulders and yell “you're fine! you'll be fine! cut your hair! eat your greens! #take up swimming and also some new pronouns! no one else will respect em but they're for YOU and so is the health stuff #please for the love of fucking god just look after yourself better than i did!“ #there's toooooo many fuckin holes in this sinking ship #I need a full body MOT and then to be cradled against the chest of a large gentle man for 12-36 hours #mr. bees speaks

[annaofaza]

Reading TriMax again and this scene remains my favorite. (Here’s where to read the full manga)

Wolfwood’s in bad shape, he can taste blood in his mouth and his nostrils, and no one’s going to back him up because he’s an idiot and didn’t fucking tell anyone. As he’s being thrown around left and right, his old mentor’s being an asshole and taunting him about how “weakened” he now is and about how Vash is usually with Wolfwood and isn’t this time (Chapel’s doing the full-on Bond villain monologue at him)...

And Wolfwood basically says FUCK YOU.

Even if Vash doesn’t come to save him specifically, Vash will save someone else.

How? Wolfwood doesn’t know. Hell, he doesn’t even know if the world can be saved. But Wolfwood believes in Vash to, at the very least, put a dent in Knives’ plan, and make a positive difference in the fight because if anyone can do it, it’ll be Vash, and you should start running now.

He bares his teeth at the world he’s going to leave and the world he knows he’s not going to see, at the man who’s shaped him to kill alone without hesitation or mercy, at the hope he’s supposed to have lost, and says:

“He has never forsaken anything.”

Literal. Fucking. Chills.

#vashwood #trigun maximum #trigun spoilers #trigun maximum spoilers #my post #like... this remains my favorite scene because wolfwood is like #'okay fine you can taunt me all you want' #'you can even kill me' #'but vash will fuck you up' #'i've never believed in anything but i believe in him' #also dude lasted so fucking long even with his vials #that man was hard to kill in the end and by god he didn't go down easily #also the fact he's like 'fuck i should have probably asked vash for help' #just kills me... this is such a switch from his i'm alone-i'm a martyr-this is my burden #and he has it at the wrong moment!! at the very end!! #and vash DOES come he does NOT forsake wolfwood #i have nothing smart to say but wolfwood's devotion floors me every fucking time