#i'm sure this has been done at some point but i don't remember seeing it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nanaslutt · 5 months

Note

choso with tongue piercing? >_<

hngh i need his tongue inside me :(

😝

Bestfriend!Choso X Reader :3

contains: fem reader, teasing, dirty talk, exhibitionism (they're in a car), sexual tension, oral (r!receiving), Choso’s first time giving head, slight jealousy, whipped!Choso & reader, first time receiving, reader has a bad track record w/ guys, mentions of bj, so soft & sweet

MDNI

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ

"Holy fuck." You swallowed hard at the view in front of you. "My brother convinced me to get it done when he got some of his piercings, said it could be a bonding experience," Choso explained, putting his tongue decorated with the little silver ball back into his mouth. "Did it hurt?" You asked, your mind still reeling that he had hidden a tongue piercing from you for all these years.

"It wasn't horrible, I'm pretty good with pain. I don't really see the point in having it pierced though." He started to explain, "No one ever sees it, even I forget it's there sometimes." Choso finished. You just smiled and nodded, pretending to listen as he kept talking about his experience getting pierced.

You had already thought of 400 scenarios in which you would let choso put his tongue (and piercing) to work on your body, so the pain he went to to get the pretty jewelry wouldnt be in vain. One particular scenario stood out in your head of him tongue fucking you, feeling the metal against your clit and- "You okay?" Choso's voice rang in your ears.

"Huh?" You said, pulling yourself from your daydream. "I asked if you would ever get your tongue pierced and you just froze up." He explained, scrunching his eyebrows together. "Oh! Oh right! I uh, I'm pretty squeamish around needles so thinking about it makes me a little... nervous" You lied through your teeth, thanking the universe that he seemed to believe it.

For the rest of the day the two of you spent together, the only thing you could focus on was his piercing. Unbeknownst to you, he had caught you several times. Choso had purposely run his tongue over his lips to wet them, every so often, just to see your breath hitch when you got a glimpse of the silver.

As he was driving the two of you back to his house for a nightcap, some relaxing song playing in the background, you spoke up through the silence, "Thanks for today Choso! I know the night isn't over yet but the museum you took us to was so much fun, we have to go to the cafe inside next time!" you exclaimed. He turned his head away from the road to look at you, before returning his gaze on the dark street.

"I'm surprised you remembered there was a cafe." He said, a hint of teasing, and snarkiness hiding in his voice. "Huh?" You voiced, tilting your head at him in confusion. "You seemed out of it today." He elaborated, "Is there something going on?" He asked, keeping his voice and face fairly monotone. His question caught you off guard, had you really been acting that weird all day? So much so that he picked up on it? Oh god.

"No! No, I'm just a little tired today, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be weird." You forced out a laugh, once again coming up with a quick and hopefully believable lie. Unluckily for you, Choso saw right through it. "Are you sure? Because you were acting fine until I showed you my piercing." He said, hitting the nail right on the head.

You froze, not expecting him to be able to pinpoint the exact moment in the day you started behaving strangely, why was he so damn observant? "Oh.. really?" You said, no bullshit lies or excuses coming to your tongue, so you tried to laugh it off instead, saying something about a coincidence. "Did me sharing that make you uncomfortable?" He said, making you immediately reassure him that was absolutely not the case.

He turned the car onto your street, driving slowly down the dark path and towards your house. The two of you have been friends for the longest time, spending practically every second together any chance you got, so of course he knew the way to your house like the back of his hand.

"Oh my god no! No choso, really it's.. it's nothing.." You panicked slightly, not wanting him to feel bad for you being a perv and not being able to control yourself over a piercing. You sighed heavily, scrunching your face up as you seriously contemplated telling him what was really going on with you today.

No matter what you did you couldn't stop imagining your oblivious best friend's tongue between your legs, flicking your clit with his tongue and teasing the bud with the cold metal. You wanted to feel guilty you really did, but the vision was too delicious to feel any remorse.

"Does it turn you on?" He asked, pulling into your driveway and putting the car into part before he unbuckled himself and turned his body to face you. The expression on his face was unreadable, which made you nervous. Your face was heating up, and your mouth dropped open and closed like a fish out of water, trying to think of a response as your brain processed his unexpected words. You really didn't want your long-term secret crush on your best friend to be exposed like this.

"The piercing, does it turn you on?" He asked again, rephrasing his question. Oh god.. he was going to call you a perv and kick you out of the car, leaving you cold and alone in your own driveway if you said yes right? He would definitely think you were weird, who thinks about their best friend in that way?

You opted to shut your mouth, as you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth and nodded as softly as you could, unsure of your own actions. He looked past you, scanning the outside around the two of you to make sure there were no witnesses before he spoke his next words. "Wanna find out why I actually got this piercing?" He asked, making your face turn a dark shade of crimson as you whispered out a needy, "Please.."

"Fuck- Ohmygod right there Choso- Fuck!" Your hands dug into his soft strands of hair as he ate you out like a man starved. He had you on your back in the backseat of the car, legs splayed out for him as he laid between them, feasting on your cunt. He flattened his tongue out against your clit, making sure the ball of the piercing was kissing the little bud before he shook his head back and forth, stimulating your clit against it.

It had happened so fast, he had leaned forward and pressed your lips together, asking if this was okay before he unbuckled your seatbelt while you were distracted, and somehow the two of you had ended up in the backseat. You weren't sure why he didn't just drag you inside but you couldn't lie that the thrill of doing something like this in the car was exciting.

Choso scissored his fingers in and out of you, abusing your g-spot with the pads of his digits as they curled up against it. His tongue was working you over so well, he drew his name over and over on your clit, occasionally sucking it into his warm mouth and humming around it, sending delicious vibrations through your cunt.

Choso had never told you about any of his sexual conquests, so you werent really sure what to expect in terms of how well he would do when he said he was going to eat you out. Now you were begining to think he had a side job as a porn star or something because his technique was unreal.

"H-how are you so fucking g-good mph!" You cut yourself off with a whine when he suckled your clit particularly hard, making your body jolt against him. Truthfully, Choso had never eaten anyone out before, but he most definitely had watched porn and practiced on his hand for the day he got the courage to ask you out.

He wasn't expecting the opportunity to fall into his lap this easily, so when he saw your eyes light up at his piercing, he internally thanked the gods that you caught a glimpse of it in the sun, which led to him revealing the jewelry to you.

Choso always paid the utmost attention to you, without you even knowing it. He knew what you liked and disliked, he even so much as knew every detail about your tone and facial expressions to make sure you were constantly pleased and comfortable, he always wanted the best for you after all.

He watched how people would break your heart and toss you aside like you were nothing, it alwasy made him furious. They were absolute idiots to give you up, he hated seeing you sad over some unemployed nobody who never really cared about you from the start. Althogh he hated them, he couldnt help but feel a little grateful for them. If it werent for them taking you for granted, you might be in a relationship still, and the two of you wouldnt be in his backseat right now.

Choso moaned against your core when your hands tightened in his hair, rolling his eyes at the feeling of your nails digging into his scalp. "Does it feel good?" He said back, knowing damn well your answer. "Yes, yes Choso, fuck!" You moaned, dropping your chin to watch him work between your thighs.

He was already looking at you when your eyes locked with his. His eyebrows scrunched together upon feeling your gaze, keeping his dark eyes on yours as he ate you out with more vigor, drinking in your body’s every reaction to his tongue. The vibrations from his deep groans were going to push you over the edge. "Choso- Choso I'm close," You whined, fighting your eyes from rolling back in your head so you could keep your eyes on his and watch him do his thing.

He was so unbelievably handsome like this, the streetlights casting beautiful shadows on his face, and his expression was so needy it made your heart skip a beat. The way his eyebrows mimicked your expressions whenever he did something that felt particularly good, was so hot, he was so attentive.

The man between your legs was feeling drunk. This was something he only dreamed of and it was actually happening. He felt like his cock was going to burst from just tasting you alone, but he would gladly make home between your thighs forever. "Please," He begged from between your legs, scrunching his eyebrows together as he ate you out with more vigor.

He released his fingers from your tight hole and opted to replace them with his tongue, pressing his face as tightly against you as he could to make sure his tongue was fucking inside you as deep as possible, making sure to lick his tongue upwards against your walls so you could feel his piercing inside you. His fingers came to rub little circles on your clit with expert precision, making your legs start to shake.

You dug your nails against his scalp as you humped your hips against his face, hearing his muffled moans encourage you from between your thighs. "Ohmygod Choso! I-I'm cumming-" You wined before you felt the knot start to unravel. Choso swore he almost came in his pants at how sensually you cried out his name, mentally recording it for later.

He kept up his ministrations on your pussy, drinking up everything you gave him as you came hard on his face, squishing his soft cheeks between your thighs. He was mesmerized as he watched your body shake and curl in on itself, he stared at your mouth as it dropped open and spilled out profanities and whines of his name, broken on your tongue. When your back relaxed against the seat of the car once more he slowed his fingers on your clit, careful to not overstimulate you.

"Holy f-fuck Choso." You whispered, leaving your hands in his hair and running them through your own, wiping the sweat from your forehead. You took a quick look around in the post haze of your orgasm and noticed how foggy the windows were, so much for trying not to be obvious; anyone with half a brain would know what was going on if they walked past your car.

After he made sure he licked you clean, he pulled his face back and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, raising his body to sit comfortably on the seat as his other large hand came to caress your thigh soothingly. "Was that okay?" He asked, looking at you like a puppy.

"Okay?" You repeated, astonished he was asking as if he didn't just witness how hard you came, "I'm pretty sure that was the best orgasm I've ever had in my life." You laughed, making him smile at your words as your hand came down on top of his while he was petting your thigh. "Thank felt so good Choso, thank you." You said blushing as you closed your legs, noticing how exposed you were in comparison to him.

Of course, he picked up on this, he reached over to pick up your previously discarded panties from the floor of the car, wiping them off before he handed them, alone with your pants, to you. You said your thanks to him and he nodded shyly, a stark difference to how he was acting moments ago. It wasn't till you were almost finished getting dressed again when you noticed his massive boner. How did you not see it before? You felt so bad for letting him sit like that for god knows how long.

"Choso, you're hard." You said, stating the obvious. The man blushed and pulled his t-shirt over his hard-on to cover it. "Let me take care of it for you." You offered, leaning your body over his and placing your hands on his toned thighs, "I-Its okay-" His warm hands came down to grab your forearms, stopping you. "What? Really? It doesn't look okay," You giggled, looking up between your lashes at him.

Of course, he wanted you to get him off, that sounded perfect, but he needed to properly take care of you first. Your legs were still trembling and you were still out of breath, on top of that he could tell you were tired; that orgasm had taken a lot out of you, so he could wait. "Don't worry about me, I'll go down." He assured, rubbing his hands on your wrists soothingly and making you hum. "I still need to clean you up and make sure you're okay." He finished, making you blush. No man has ever said that to you before, and no man has ever eaten you out before tonight either but you wouldn't tell Choso that right now.

Truthfully, you were feeling tired, and the prospect of Choso cleaning you up didnt sound half bad right now, "Are you sure? It really wont take long." You offered one last time. He smiled and pushed your arms off of his thighs so he could leave the car, "Im sure, some other time." He said boldly, making you nod silently as he opened the car door and stepped out.

You started to do the same but his voice stopped you in your tracks, "Don't move." He ordered, so you didn't. It didn't take long after he shut his own door that he was opening yours, Choso now standing in front of you as he leaned inside the car and scooped you into his arms, making you giggle as he slammed the door behind him. "Choso! I can walk." You laughed, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as he held you in a princess carry.

"Don't wanna take any chances, your legs are still trembling pretty hard." He said, making you blush and want to hide away at his exposing words. "I think you're the sweetest man I'll ever know." You said to him, smiling at his blushing face as he quickly avoided his eyes with yours. He moved his hand to effortlessly type in your door code as he brought the both of you inside, away from the chilly air.

I better be, he wanted to say, but opted to only acknowledge your words with a hum as the front door clicked shut behind the both of you.

3K notes · View notes

awearywritersworld · 10 months

Text

"do you like me?" "nope."

gojo satoru x reader summary: even yuuji realizes that gojo has a crush on you, but you're oblivious as ever w/c: 1.1k tags/warnings: ft. yuuji and megumi. fluff. super light angst. lots of banter. a lil mutual pining. yuuji and gojo being chaotic. gender neutral reader. a/n: not sure how this turned out, but it was fun to write! masterlist check out my latest work for gojo here

"(l/n)-sensei!!"

you're trying to relax and really, fifteen minutes is all you want, but these days that seems impossible.

you turn your head toward the sparring field just in time to see yuuji fly into a tree about 30 yards away. megumi is already on the ground struggling to get up.

meanwhile gojo is prancing, literally prancing, in the opposite direction. you walk toward the group with a mixture of annoyance and disappointment playing across your features, all your hope for some peace and quiet crushed.

"that was awesome!" the pink haired boy shouts from amid a mess of leaves and branches.

gojo gushes over the praise, his hands pressing against his cheeks. "thank you, yuuji! it's nice to know someone around here appreciates my unmatched strength."

"i don't remember offering to be a part of the demonstration," megumi grumbles, finally rising to his feet.

his demeanor is less than pleased and you glance at him sympathetically before turning to gojo. "you do know that you're an adult, right? like, as in, a fully grown man."

"(y/n)-chaaaaan, you're always so mean to me," he whines, grabbing your hands dramatically. "what have i done to deserve such cruel treatment?"

"today or in general?" you pretend to think for a second. "i seem to remember you waking me up at seven this morning so that you didn't have to go to your meeting with masamichi-san alone-"

"he was mad at me for skipping the last one i had!"

"-and then you hid my phone for almost an hour because i wouldn't give you my last candy bar-"

"i was starving, (y/n)-chan! it wasn't my fault, you know that!"

"-and then you destroyed that tree, which i really happened to like by the way."

his gaze flickers toward that direction, the splintered wood a sad remnant of what it used to be, then throws his arms in the air. "this is so unfair!"

"(l/n)-sensei! did you see?" yuuji calls out, already fully recovered and bounding toward you.

"i sure did." you chuckle at his tattered clothes and unfazed attitude.

"what'd ya think?"

you really can't bring yourself to scold him, not with all the excitement in his voice. "oh, it was certainly something."

"did you hear that, gojo-sensei?" yuuji lights up.

megumi disguises his laugh with a cough. "i don't think that was a compliment."

the boy visibly deflates so you ruffle his hair. "it was pretty cool, i just don't want you getting hurt." that earns a grin, to your relief.

"so i get yelled at, but you're nice to him?" gojo pouts indignantly.

"yes."

"ugh! this is killing me, (y/n)-chan!" he announces before promptly knocking you to the ground, the action something between a hug and a tackle.

"gojo, get off of me!" you yell, though there's a hint of laughter in your voice.

"i can't! not until you forgive me!"

your giggles ring through the air, music to gojo's ears, and your hands push him away as he tries to tickle your sides. you look like two kids, rolling around in the grass and shouting at one another.

yuuji leans in toward megumi, his voice hushed as if he's about to reveal the world's biggest secret. "i'm starting to think there's something going on between those two."

his friend looks at him as if he's grown a second head. "you're just now noticing?"

~~~

you're making dinner in your apartment while gojo sits on the kitchen floor, his legs splayed out and taking up nearly half of the small room. his blindfold had been discarded at one point or another, something he made a habit of doing when it was just the two of you.

"what are we having tonight, chef?"

"me? i'm having braised chicken thighs. i'm not sure about you though," you tease.

you didn't invite him to dinner, he just kind of followed you back to your place after sparring practice. you don't really mind, you never do, not that you'd ever admit it out loud.

"you wouldn't give me your candy bar and now you won't have dinner with me either? today is the worst! is this still about the tree? i told you i was sorry-"

"geez i was just kidding!" you cut him off. "of course you can have some, but only if you get the flour off the top shelf for me."

"i guess that's a fair trade," he reasons, rising to his feet lazily.

the cabinet is just to your left, so his body presses into yours as he reaches up, the contact making your heart flutter.

"thanks," you exhale when he sets it down within your reach.

he doesn't return to his sitting position, just leans against the counter and watches you carefully stir the ingredients in the pan.

"do you like me?" he inquires suddenly.

"nope."

"hm, do you like like me?" he suggests, a small smirk playing at his lips.

"gojo, that's honestly defamatory."

he rolls his eyes playfully. "c'mon, be serious."

"you be serious," you challenge the usually facetious man.

"i am."

resting your spoon on the pan, you turn to face him, unsure if he's just messing with you like always. the room is silent, save for the faint popping of oil, as he waits for you to say something.

"why do you wanna know?"

"'cause i like you, why else?"

your hands gather the fabric of your apron nervously, crumpling it between your fingers while you avoid his gaze. his words strike you as entirely implausible. after all, he's gojo and you're, well, you.

"you... you shouldn't joke about stuff like that."

he laughs at you and it breaks your heart a little, but then you feel two lithe hands on either side of your face. "(y/n), look at me."

you do, albeit apprehensively, and his eyes bore into your own with an intensity you aren't familiar with. it makes your knees feel weak. a smile tugs at his lips before they capture your own, the movement slow and soft.

your fingers reach up to wrap around his wrist, an attempt to steady yourself against him, before one of his hands travels down to your hip and gives it a light squeeze.

you taste so sweet, feel so perfect in his hands, that gojo kicks himself for waiting so long to kiss you. his lips move to the corner of your mouth, across your cheek, then begin to work their way up your jaw. he hums against your skin, satisfied with the breathy noises he's pulling from your throat.

then, the smell of burning invades your senses and you pull away from each other with wide eyes, exclaiming in unison. "the food!"

#m!writes #gojo satoru #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru imagines #gojo #gojo x reader #gojo imagines #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk imagines #gojo fluff

5K notes · View notes

moonfireshadow · 4 months

Text

Rewatched Saltburn and I'm obsessed with Farleigh and Oliver's tutoring scene. The essay specifically. For those who don't remember: Oliver did his homework and all his assignments and genuinely gave a well thought out essay for their summer assignments. Farleigh shows up hungover and late and didn't even read the books. But the teacher immediately loves Farleigh and is chatting him up with an interest he barely tried to show Oliver. Even after Oliver gives his presentation and shows that he's clearly a much better student than Farleigh. Obviously this is the real start of their rivalry. But it's also such a beautiful look into their characters and how they mirror eachother. Farleigh understands Oliver's essay, I believe. But like the teacher he's bored by it. The knowledge and work is there, but the presentation of it is boring and strange. Academic and correct, but lacking the appeal to the audience. (Which, can we talk about the fact Farleigh was genuinely listening at all? The teacher zoned out and switched channels, but Farleigh was interested and paying enough attention to know the exact number of times Oliver used the word "thus" in his essay. They respect each other truly even if they despise eachother at this point, and refuse to acknowledge the grudging respect.) So Farleigh does what he does best, he gloats over Oliver. He picks apart the style of the essay and it's presentation rather than addressing the central argument or topic. This delights the teacher and frustrates Oliver who is like, "so you're going to critique the style of my essay rather than it's substance? Seems a bit lazy" and that's the core component of these two characters.

Farleigh is ALL about presentation. He knows how fragile his pedistal is placed up and in view for everyone to see. He's a charity project, just like every other rando of the month. Sure he has some familiar connection, and that's given him a leg up in this world. But it's still shakey at best. He always has to give the correct performance, say the right words, keep his audience on HIS side. Unless he wants to get knocked down with the rest of the common rabal that he knows he's belongs with, but can't stand the idea of. So yes, of course he picks apart the one thing he knows Oliver is failing at. He takes his one advantage over Oliver and uses it mercilessly to both entertain and secure his audience on his side. (I wonder if the positions had been different some how, if Farleigh would have had anything to say about the substance of the essay itself. He was paying attention to it, did he want to have a real academic conversation? Did he possibly want to try and connect to Oliver in that way? A real and non performative way with someone who's so similar to him?)

As for Oliver, obviously his character is intelligent. He does the readings. He does the research. He puts the time and effort in to *learn* in the way Farleigh never does. And it must infuriate him that his essay is so easily pushed to the side for a cheep critique that doesn't even address the central argument of his essay. Of course he would hate Farleigh from the start for that. It's such a quick negation of all that Oliver has to offer and give just because it's not wrapped up in a pretty bow. And that's just his character. The substance is there, the intelligence is there. But it's not enough. It will never be enough. Because Oliver doesn't know how to translate it to his audience in a way they'll care about. He learns and tries to mimic, but it always falls short because he just can't seem to figure out the way to blend in and present himself so seamlessly as Farleigh.

And that's why they're such perfect mirrors of each other. They're both intelligent and clever. But they've found different ways of getting what they want and proving themselves. Farleigh is the face and the presentation, Oliver is the substance and body. In another world imagine what these two could have done and been if they hadn't been pitted against each other for the same prize. And the fact Oliver definitely deliberately shoved Farleigh out at the perfect time so he wouldn't get hurt and killed? Oliver and Farleigh respect and admire the other. But their tragedy is they can never be on the same page or team because the world they're in says there is only room for one. And they'd both do anything to get that title.

#saltburn #farleigh start #oliver quick #saltburn spoilers #character analysis #i just really feel gay for these two #its about the narrative foils #im obsessed

1K notes · View notes

acis-arts · 19 days

Text

What's a fandom without a Swap AU?

I'll be talking more about the ideas I have so far down below!

I'm pretty sure this has been done before, since this is a pretty basic (but still fun) AU idea. I just haven't really seen any fanwork from anyone about a Swap AU, so if someone has actually already done their own version of a Swap AU, then I would love to see it!

For now I'll just be sharing my own ideas:

As you can see, I definitely want to swap the Lamb and Narinder as characters! The Lamb now being The One Who Waits and Narinder being the last of his kind, meaning there is no more cars :( It also makes for another fun ship dynamic between them, with the Lamb being a callous yet playful silly God and Narinder being their calculated little Vessel, not admitting to his softer side when helping his Followers.

For the AU bishops, I thought it would be pretty cool if they are 4 of the slaughtered Lambs and I REALLY want to create some cool Bishop Lamb designs! But then I remembered, wouldn't that mean that the original bishops are the slaughtered ones then? But they're not cats like Narinder, so the original Bishops could just be something like regular followers, who eventually grow close to Narinder, becoming his found family. For the sake of having fun with this AU, I will make Bishop Lambs, unless I suddenly realize/someone points out that it really doesn't make any sense.

I don't have a lot more ideas yet, but I just thought about this idea on the spot: maybe the NPCs from the Map Areas could be swapped with each other. Like, swapping Plimbo with the Fisherman and Sozo with Midas, since Plimbo and the Fisherman should probably stay near water while Sozo and Midas really just a swap their obsessions.

Also no idea who the Mystic Seller should be swapped out with, maybe with their Disciples(?)

That concludes all my ideas so far! I'm open for any feedback or suggestions, thanks for reading!!!

#art #cotl #cult of the lamb #cotl narinder #cotl lamb #the one who waits #cotl swap au

646 notes · View notes

woso-dreamzzz · 13 days

Text

Cub and Älskling

Mapi Leon x Ingrid Engen x Child!Reader (Cub)

Fridolina Rolfö x Child!Reader (Cub) x Älskling

Summary: You meet Frido's Älskling

The baby is very little.

She's small and cute and is cradled very tightly in Frido's arms.

You stare at her, eyes not moving as she wiggles around. Her eyes are wide as she stares back at you.

You lean closer and her little hand is free of her blankets.

She punches you in the face, right in the nose.

You gasp.

"Mami," You say, turning to look at her," She's so cool!"

Mami laughs in disbelief. "Cool, huh? She just punched you."

"Yeah!" You nod frantically," And I'm bigger than her! She's so cool! Is she your baby Tia Frido?"

Frido shakes her head. "She's my baby sister. I like to call her Älskling."

"Hi, Älskling," You say before gasping again," She smiled at me! Ingrid, did you see? She smiled at me!"

"She must like you, Cub," Ingrid says," You're very likeable."

"I know," You reply," But Mami says babies are difficult sometimes. It's good that she likes me."

You've been waiting for ages to meet Tia Frido's little sister. You weren't at training the day the rest of the team met her.

Ingrid had to send you to nursery that day because it was picture day and Mami really wanted a fancy picture of you.

It made you a little sad to not meet Älskling then but you're happy you can meet her at your house. She keeps looking at you and smiling and you smile back.

She looks really cool and Frido sets her on the floor to explore there. She can't crawl just yet but she can sit up and look around.

She reaches for you and you shuffle closer.

"Careful, cub," Mami says," Remember, Älskling's only little. You must use gentle hands like with Bagheera."

You nod very seriously and get closer again, sitting on your knees. You've got the magic wiggles but you're trying to keep them at bay because you don't want to scare Älskling.

You give her your hand and she wraps a whole hand around one of your fingers. You stare at her, mouth slightly hanging open as she lets go of you.

She grunts, hand curling into a fists as she punches your finger.

You giggle, wiggling a little bit on your knees in excitement.

"She keeps punching me!" You tell no one in particular," She's so cool! Can we keep her, Tia Frido?"

Frido grins triumphantly. "I knew you'd be on my side! But, sadly, she has to go back to Sweden at some point. She lives with my parents. I'd have to kidnap her if she stayed here."

"That's okay," You tell her," You can stay here. Älskling can sleep in my room and you can sleep in bed with Mami and Ingrid!"

Mapi turns pale at that thought.

"I think it would be better if Älskling stayed with her parents, cub."

You flash her a disgruntled look. "Älskling's my new best friend," You say," She can't leave!"

"Don't worry," Frido says," I'll be making sure she comes to visit a lot."

You nod. "Good because she's my new best friend and I want to show her everything."

That sparks an idea in you and you hurry off to your toy crate. You didn't use to have one until Ingrid moved in, took one look at the messy apartment and came back with little crates and storage bins to put things in.

You kind of like your toy crate now because all of them are in the exact same place and you know where to put them when you're done playing - though Ingrid has to remind you a lot to actually put them back in the crate.

You grab a few things you think will interest Älskling like your yellow digger and your magnifying glass. You snatch your løve (lion) from the sofa as well and crowd into Älskling's space again.

She's smiling again and making little giggly sounds as Frido tickles her.

"Here, Älskling," You say, placing your yellow digger next to her. You demonstrate how it moves before showing her the magnifying glass. She seems more interested in that than anything else so you let her hold it.

She's got a very good grip and lifts the toy up to her face before putting it in her mouth. You giggle when she pulls a face at the taste but then sticks it right back into her mouth.

"She's silly," You tell Ingrid," But still fun!"

"You were silly," Ingrid tells you.

"But not now."

She laughs. "But not now."

You keep your distance from Älskling for a little bit, playing by Frido's feet with Bagheera and your digger. You let your magic wiggles all run out before you're up on your feet again and ask the question you've wanted to ask since Frido arrived.

"Can I hold her?"

"Say please, Cub," Ingrid prompts and you correct yourself.

"Can I hold her, please?"

"Of course!" Frido says, tapping the spot next to her," Let's get you comfortable."

#woso x reader #ingrid engen x reader #ingrid engen #mapi leon x reader #mapi leon #fridolina rolfö x reader #fridolina rolfö #woso community #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso

571 notes · View notes

wonderlandwalker · 4 months

Text

Remember | Finnick Odair x Reader

THG Masterlist / Taglist / Inbox

Summary: The capitol has taken you from him, but he won't let them keep you. You can find pt. 2 here!

Content Warnings/Tags: Violence, bullet wounds, major character injury, blood, needles, angst, fluff, no use of y/n

Word Count: 4.0k

Requested by Anon: omg I love your writing and I have an unhealthy addiction to reading angst so could you please write something about the reader being with peeta and Johanna when they where taken by the capital and her being with finnick and recovering while she’s in district 13? 🫶🫶

A/N: The way I smiled when I saw this request I swear. This one has been in the works for a little while and I thought it fit perfectly. It is angst you ask for and it is angst you shall get. I'm considering writing a part two but I'm not sure how to yet. My bad habit of not proofreading happened again and with this one especially it was way too long so if I made any major errors pls do let me know.

The Capitol.

You are currently in the Capitol.

At least that’s where you think you are. You remember being in the arena, you remember running towards the general direction you last saw Finnick, remembering the marks you had gone by in case you had to take a different route. You remember seeing Finnick's face through the plantation, you’d be able to recall those features anywhere. You remember something hitting you from behind and falling to the ground, too caught up in catching up with him to check your surroundings. You remember crying out in pain, hoping he’d hear you. But the next thing you remember is the vision of him slowly going out of focus and losing consciousness not long after.

At least that's what you think happened.

At least you can still remember, that’s worth something right? You remember your past, and you remember the reaping that led to the arena. The flood of relief that went over you as you finally found your way back to him. You don’t know what happened to Finnick, he was there too after all, but you had needed to split up early. Maybe he had been caught off guard too. Maybe he escaped. Maybe they never even found him. Maybe with him being the idiot he could be, he was probably already on his way here, looking for you. Just like you would have done for him, and he would have called you an idiot then too.

You would get out of here one way or another, that much you knew, but you needed to remember more, you needed to remember the last look on his face, you hadn't had much time to take it in, but you remembered the furrow of his eyebrows, the same expression he always had when he was trying to concentrate, you needed to remember that.

You knew that once you did get out of here, Finnick would be furious, telling you that you had been reckless, that you shouldn't have let your guard down, shortly after telling you how worried he had been. And it would feel like coming home.

Your mind becomes hazier, and it is harder to remember. You feel your head throbbing, and you move your hand towards it until you feel it can move no further. You open your eyes slowly, trying to adjust to the bright light that covers the room. You can't see much, can't move your head much.

You remember the rendezvous point you had talked about. You remember the quick “don't get yourself in trouble” and the kiss he gave you right before you parted ways.

You remember the layers of plants and trees you moved through, seeing some of them cut down, letting you know someone else had been there

But you know there is more, more that you missed. The stomped-out ashes that you ran past, you know you should have paid closer attention. But you can’t remember

You need to remember what happened. How you got here. Who got you here. If you really are in the capitol. But your mind doesn't want to cooperate anymore. The room is getting darker and darker, even though the lamp above your head is still dutifully buzzing

You wake up, you still remember where you are, or at least where you think you are. You still remember yesterday, was it yesterday? Why couldn't they just hang a clock in here?

You look up, and you see a device set up, not too far from where you're lying down. You try to get a better look but the light above your head is too blinding to see anything else in the room. You don’t fully understand it until a man walks into the room with a video camera in his hand and an expression on his face that seems just a tad too happy.

The camera starts blinking a red light, signalling you that it has started recording. The man has a sort of laser that he presses into your lower stomach, it doesn't breach your skin but it hurts like it does. It takes all your energy not to show him the satisfaction of it.

“Come on now darling, work with me a little.” He says after a while, changing the setting on the laser. The last bit of your energy is gone, and you can't keep the screaming from escaping any longer. It echoes off the white walls around you and when you hear yourself, you barely even recognize it. He seems satisfied with the result and finally puts the laser down. You look down but don't see any burn marks or indication of what has just happened.

He comes closer and you can see he is holding a sort of crowbar, but you're not sure why. You remember how you always left one outside your window in the districts, in case the wind had shut it and you needed to sneak back in. You remember Finnick finding out, giving you a serious, disappointed look, but not telling you to stop.

Before you can think of anything else, the bar hits you with full force, right above the spot he was previously focused on. You didn't expect it, and it knocks the little breath you had left out of your lungs. He hits again, not in the same spot, but close, he is very clearly aiming for your ribs. The switching between high-tech and old-school weapons has you puzzled, but you can't deny the result either of them has.

After a while, he stops, and with the added difficulty and pain that now comes with breathing, you are more than certain he just bruised a few of your ribs.

He walks back, taking the camera in his hands. He aims it at your face and you close your eyes to try and collect yourself as much as your current state allows. Your hair is a tangled mess and you are rather certain there is blood smushed over your face from the cuts you got in the arena.

“Smile for the camera sweetheart.” He asks, even though it sounds more like an order than a request. You open your eyes to look at him. He is so close, and you want to drive your thumbs so far into his eye sockets you can feel the front lobe of his brain, if he even has one. But you can't do anything, no matter how much you want to fight, you are powerless here. You close your eyes again, trying to block everything out and remember.

You remember District Four, the way the light summer breeze would always carry the smell of the beach to your house, no matter how hard you had it, it always livened you up. You remember the first time Finnick tried to teach you how to surf, being so gentle with you no matter how many times you fell off it, always there to catch you again. You remember your last birthday, well, the day after, but you couldn't even complain about that. He had picked you up from your place and brought you to one of the lakes with him. He told you the story of one of his birthdays when he was younger, along with all the embarrassing details, but of course, it only endeared him further to you. You told him about the presents you got and all the people who came to wish you a happy birthday. You told him everything you could remember. You remember last seeing his face, maybe it was the last time you will have ever seen it. No. No, you remember it, but you’ll see it again, you have to.

“I’ll make sure your loverboy gets to see this, wherever he is, wouldn't want him to miss out on the fun.”

Finn. Finnick. You remember Finnick. You remember when you returned from your first games. The black eye and broken arm you came home with. You remember how he lost it when they didn't immediately treat you for it. He would now either throw a fit over it for everyone to see or be so stoic in his thoughts even Johanna would get a little concerned.

You see the man standing up, walking to the table, and picking up something new. A syringe, it's a syringe. He walks over and pushes it into your upper arm, and before you know it, your vision turns black again.

You remember waking up to gunshots, and you panic. But after a few seconds, you figure out they’re not near you. There is, however, someone in the room with you, it's the same man again. He looks a little panicked, but you can’t figure out why just yet. The gunshots are becoming louder, and closer, and he seems more startled now. His arms drop to his sides from what he was doing and his eyes widen. Screams are echoing and you can hear footsteps.

You remember that pattern of paddling feet, and you recognize the second pair of steps too, but you can't remember much else.

The man gets closer to you, placing his hand over your mouth, pulling out a gun with his free hand and telling you to stay quiet. You never understood why people say that, it means he has something to lose, and you want to scream out, but your voice doesn't remember how to.

It's even closer now, right outside the door, and you can hear talking. You remember his voice. How he always asked you so sweetly how your day had been, the way he whispered sweet nothings in your ear as you fell asleep.

You hear the door jiggle, and it makes you want to scream out for him, but your sore throat won't let you. For a moment you think that is it, you had your chance, and you let it go by. He’ll move along the hallway to the other doors and leave you here. But then you hear another gunshot, and they must have shot the lock, because right after you hear someone running into the door with an echoing thump as it breaks open.

The man next to you had his gun pointed at the door, and he changes it to point at you instead.

You were right, by the gods you had never been so thankful to have been right. Finnick walks in, and you can see the colour drain from his face as he does so.

The man standing next to you is starting to get nervous, you can see the sweat starting to drip down his face. He must realize he has been matched, because there are more people by Finnicks side. But the man still has his gun pointed at you, and this isn't over just yet.

You can't keep your eyes open anymore, and when you close them, you remember. You remember your first kiss with Finnick, how nervous he had been at the time. He had been shaking a little and told you he was embarrassed by how much you got to him, but it only endeared him further to you. He yells at the man to let go of the gun, he sounds nervous again.

But he doesn't let go, he decides to shoot.

You hear the bullet leaving the gun, and for a single moment, you think it's over. The last thing you’ll ever see is Finnick, but he’s not himself. He’s upset, and even though you know he’s not upset with you, it still tugs at you. Except when you feel the bullet piercing through your skin, that's exactly what you realise. You can still feel it. He didn't shoot you right in the heart, he didn't shoot towards your head, he shot you in the abdomen. You’re not sure why, not sure why he didn't kill you, but you will never know, because not even a second passes as you hear a second gunshot, and he falls to the floor.

You can't seem to remember how to open your eyes, but you can hear Finnick rushing over and right as he reaches you, you fall. You fall into his arms and the memory of it gives you hope. Something comes in contact with your stomach, and the agony of it makes you want to scream out. You can feel him lifting you, and the shift of your body makes the bullet move, making you want to scream again. And if you remembered how to, you would have.

You know he’s talking to someone, but it sounds more like buzzing to you. You can only make out certain parts of the conversation, something about needing to leave, something about infections, and something about an aircraft.

You can hear him talking again, and this time it’s directed at you. There’s a strain in his voice, and it sounds like he’s crying. It makes you want to comfort him, but you don’t remember how to.

“Please darling, just open your eyes."

But you’re afraid, youre afraid that if you open them, everything will turn out to be nothing but a dream, and he won’t be here anymore. But even if this is a dream, you need to see him. Even if it will turn into a haunted memory, you need to see his eyes looking back at you. It takes you some effort, but you open your eyes, looking at him. You can see tears flooding his face, you can see his lips moving, silent pleas coming from them for you to stay awake. He’s telling you how good of a job you’re doing, he's telling you to hold on. He promises that he won’t let anything bad happen to you ever again and that he won’t let go of you anymore.

You remember how he cried when you were reaped for the 75th games, and how you had told him everything would be okay, how you had comforted him, but you don't have the energy to comfort him this time. You remember hearing his sobbing, his shaking voice when you close your eyes again, not being able to keep them open any longer, even if you wanted to.

You wake up again, and for a moment you think it had indeed all been a dream, that you were right back where you had started, But then you remember the bullet in your stomach. You look down and see a bandage over it, even though it’s already soaked in blood. They must have taken it out.

You try and concentrate, and you can hear Finnick talking to someone. “Just tell me, I know it’s bad but I need to know.” “Finnick, it won’t make a difference.” The person he’s talking to sounds desperate, and you remember how stubborn he could be when it came to you.

But you don’t remember more, because your head starts to feel light again and you give in to the feeling.

When you wake up again, you manage to open your eyes, and you can see someone sitting in a chair next to the bed you're in. He’s slumped over, his face half pressed into the mattress and half into your stomach, both of his hands are holding onto one of yours. It hurts a little, but you don't mind, because it reminds you, even when you look away, that he is still there. You remember the way he always softly snores, and the way he wiggles his nose when your hair falls over it.

You think you're connected to a monitor, because something is beeping in the same rhythm you can feel your heart beating, and it gives you a headache. So you close your eyes again, and once again, you give in to the feeling of sleep that looms over you.

Since you had been brought to District 13, he has barely left your side. He keeps putting cold washcloths on your forehead to try and break your fever. It won't help, and he knows it, but no one has the heart to stop him.

You haven't shown a single sign of life since they had found you. It was unsettling, the silence that filled the room, none of your usual laughter and banter there to replace it.

It’s only when Finnick's head shoots up that the others notice it as well. The steady beeping that has been imposing the silence in this room for weeks picking up its pace. The beating continues to go faster and faster, your body shaking up from the bed in almost the same rhythm. But right before anyone can do anything about it, it stops. It all seems to stop, you stop moving, and the monitor stops beating.

He starts giving you chest compressions, and someone rushes into the room holding a small bottle, they fill a syringe with the clear liquid and inject it into your arm. Within a few seconds, your heart starts beating again. But it’s only after a minute of the monitor showing him a steady heartrate that he stops his actions.

It’s dark in the room when Finnick wakes up, and if it wasn't for the soft light and the beeping of the monitor, he would've thought he was dreaming, but it seems the reality won’t let him escape. He struggles not to fall back asleep, and every few minutes he does, but every time he wakes up startled again, scared that you’ll be gone if he doesn't open his eyes every once in a while. It was easy to see the toll it had taken on him. His posture was slouched, his face less well-groomed than usual. But no one could blame him, because they could see the way he looked at you, as if you were the sun and your dimmed light turned his world dark.

He knows the chance you can hear him is small, but he feels the urge to talk to you nonetheless.

“I don't think I can hold this in any longer. I remember some studies that have shown people in comas do hear what's going on around them, but maybe it’s for the best that you don’t, because you would never say yes.”

He continues but he feels his voice choke up, and he runs a hand through your hair to calm himself down, his other hand still holding onto yours.

“We talked about it once, I still remember every single word you said. You came at me with all your logical reasons for why it would be a bad idea. But what you never understood is that when it comes to you, I'm not able to think rationally, because my love for you will overpower anything else.” He chuckles softly as he recalls the memory he’s about to tell you next.

“I remember when I opened up to you for the first time. I had always held things to myself, but you were so calm as I talked to you. I thought for sure I had screwed it up somehow then. Everyone always tells me now how happy you make me, and they're right. Ever since you came into my life there has not been a single moment when the thought of you did not bring me joy, even when we fought my memories of you could still somehow bring a smile to my face.

I remember when they showed me the video, they hadn't wanted me to see it, but you know how stubborn I can be when it comes to you. I saw you, I saw the way in which they were hurting you. And I started yelling, ironically enough in that moment, you were the only one that could have calmed me down. I remember yelling at them, fighting with them not to wait any longer, that they couldn't let you wait any longer, they had to have me sedating until they came to a conclusion."

He reaches into the pocket of his trousers, taking a small ring. It was his mother's ring, he had found it a while back and had carried it with him ever since. He had thought of moments to give it to you, but every time there was one, every time he was about to ask you, something had happened, something had interrupted him. But there was no one interrupting him this time. “I have thought about asking you this every time I see you, and I can't hold it in any longer. So when you wake up, not if you wake up, because I know you will. I know you will wake up because you have to. So when you wake up, will you marry me.” A little part of him had thought you'd wake up, that you’d answer him. Even if you said no, it would still be better than what's happening right now, because he didn't care if you'd say no, if you’d say you weren't ready, because nothing could be worse than the silence that followed him. And so he slid the ring onto your finger delicately, as if you were to disappear if he wasn't careful. He put the ring on your hand because he knew that even if it wasn't today, and it wasn't tomorrow, someday you would marry him, and he wouldn't let you slip away.

At first, he thought he was imagining it, sleep deprivation and desperation playing a trick on his mind. But then he saw it again, in the beams of morning light he could see your hand moving, as if it was trying to grasp onto something, trying to pull you back into this world. It woke him up in an instant. But it was all followed so fast, the way your eyes slowly opened, squinting at the light. Before you had even awoken for a second, he moved from where he had been right beside you in order to hug you. And he was about to get lost in the thought of your moving lips, tears falling down his eyes, about to get lost in a kiss full of built-up pain and desperation when he noticed, something was wrong. Your eyebrows were knitted together and the corners of your mouth turned down just a little. He looked at your expression, your body language, something was wrong. You looked vulnerable, you looked like you wanted to protect yourself from someone.

It was only when he looked into your eyes that he truly understood something was very wrong.

Your eyes looked as if you were in pain, but it wasn't a look of any physical pain, it looked as if something was endangering you, but he couldn't understand what it was. He slowly moved so as not to startle you and asked you “Darling, what’s wrong” And at first you didn’t respond, but when he kept looking at you, expecting him to answer you, you started to speak. “Am I supposed to remember you?”

He immediately flinched back at the statement, his shoulder sunk and his eyes dimmed. Someone told him it wasn't uncommon for brain injuries to cause short-term memory loss after a coma.

So slowly, and surely, he made it work. But it was crumbling him down every time you didn't remember the unconscious acts of affection, so foreign to you now. A quick touch on your arm as he walked towards you made you flinch slightly as if his hand had been on fire. The subtle smiles he gave you when entering a room were now met with you looking down. The way that even though you were physically here, you really weren't.

He promised himself, he vowed to himself that he would make you remember. That no matter how long it took, he would wait for you. He would wait for you to remember, make you remember. Because he had very quickly learned that he couldn’t live without you anymore.

Part 2: Trying to Forget

767 notes · View notes

thechekhov · 3 months

Text

Dungeon Meshi Quick Reacts: CH36

Time find out just how fucked up Toshiro got.

Hey Kabru. Chill.

That sure is a normal look to give your team mate. I'm sure you're a normal, well adjusted leader who understands when you step out of bounds.

Bold of you to assume they even care. They're too caught up in the plot of the second arc to even remember you...

So much to question here. The fact that Toshiro has retainers. The fact that they're all mildly bored. The fact that Marcille seems to hate it here. Marcille, hello??? Are you only interested in Falin? Do you just hate people that aren't her?

The fact that she's still wearing the frog costume makes this panel, honestly. What a legend.

This is so wholesome. Laios just decided to therapy this workaholic man all on his own, dangit. If he won't do it, who will? Senshi must be so proud.

Hang on, I just realized--.....is that.

Is that the cat girl...?!!? That I've been seeing? I thought it was just a hat at first, but those are ears, aren't they?! Is she the one that eventually joins the party?

Marcille, you're a beautiful frog woman to me.

If I didn't know that Chillchuck is a dad already, I would have known it at this point. What a thing to say. "oh no, which one of these kids grown men is going to cause more trouble if left unattended"

I'm sure that's fine.

...........

But when you put it that way, it seems a little.... simple?

Kabru is beginning to suspect he's in the wrong class.

"Ah yes, a little freak that scuttles around from paintings to reality and speaks in archaic and mysterious tones. GOTTA be a Sorcerer. And hella mad, too!"

The math checks out, your honor.

Her best, Karbohydrate. She did her best.

Oh Laios, you're a hoot.

Kabru, you literally said Laios is a terrible liar three seconds ago. Maybe be a little less obvious? 😂

...you've done this to yourself, mate.

Okay, you know what. I take it back. I still don't like Kabru but watching him suffer IS supremely entertaining.

Okay, I can see how he might jump to the wrong conclusions here. They did not, in fact, eat the orcs.....

Orcs are duty bound to slap ya upside the head.

I love how genuinely patient Senshi is, and how good he is at listening. Chillchuck was worried but he's just vibing with new friends.

I'm sure they're having a grand old time.

What do those ears do, hmmm?

I enjoy the fact that he says "they're all treated as heinous criminals" instead of passing moral judgement and saying 'they're beyond reproach' or the like. He knows the consequences, and remarks not at all on whether or not he agrees with the judgement itself.

I could also draw some parallels here about how Japan treats all drugs but. Well. That's another topic.

Oh, noooo. As opposed to that other way of dying, where your corpse is dragged about in a carnival fashion after you die, to dry up in the light of day forever after.

Oh wait.

This bitch is really only here for the drama. 😅

FALIN?!?!?!?! MY GIRL

WHY THE LONG......body...?

....................cool. Cool cool cool cool cool. Alright. Okay okay okay. Alright.

#dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi quick reacts #chekhov reads dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi liveblog

389 notes · View notes

iamthat-iam · 2 months

Text

"Ego", The Final Boss

Olivia (she prefers to be called Liv) has been on quite the spiritual journey for a couple of years. She was born and raised Catholic, then as a teen she decided to leave the church because it didn't resonate with her. She went through a law of attraction phase, followed by law of assumption, and finally, she found non dualism from a few Twitter and Tumblr accounts.

The message, from what she gathered, was that she needed to fully drop the ego in order to realize her true self/true nature and to experience whatever she wanted. She even read a few books where realized masters have spoken about their own personal journeys of dropping ego and how life is generally more peaceful for them now that they've done so.

Now, Liv is one with a troubled past. She would give anything to become an entirely different person with no childhood trauma, and just a happy life all around. She meditated every single day, practiced "sitting in silence", and tried her hardest to detach from her "ego."

She stopped enjoying her usual hobbies out of fear of identifying too much with the character. She would go out of her way to correct thoughts that she felt were "too related to being the person." Needless to say, her mental health began to go downhill very fast.

One of her best friends, Marcus, decided to check up on her one day through face-time. "Hey sis! How have you been?! Haven't seen you in a while."

"Hey..." Liv answered. "I'm not doing all that great to be honest."

"Yeah I figured that. That's why I reached out to you," Marcus stated. "I'm worried about you. It seems like you barely leave the house. Everytime myself or anyone else tries to make plans with you, you either cancel last minute or come up with some bogus excuse as to why you can't come out."

Liv had to laugh because everything he said was true. "So I'm guessing you didn't believe the story about my pet rabbit dying."

Marcus cackled. "GIRL. I've known you for years and not once have you ever had a pet rabbit. Stop playing."

"Okay let me tell you what's really going on with me," Liv began, "So a few months ago I found this 'spiritual practice' called Non Dualism, and the premise of it is you need to 'let go of ego' in order to realize your true nature as God, or Awareness, whatever you want to call it. Also you get to experience whatever you want."

"So this is the reason why you've stopped enjoying your usual hobbies, and why you've stopped having a social life?" Marcus inquired. "I'm going to be honest here. As your friend, I feel like I owe it to you to tell you the Truth even if it isn't what you want to hear. I don't think that this 'practice' has helped you one bit. Either you have misinterpreted the message, or these people are spreading misinformation. Never at any point should you sacrifice your mental health for the sake of 'becoming enlightened.'"

"I don't know what else to do," Liv started to cry a little. "I just want to become a different person living a life full of happiness, one without trauma and constant reminders of my horrible past. I hate being this broken person!"

"It's okay hun, I totally understand," Marcus consoled her. "I can help you. You remember my family guru right? She hates being called that, but I don't know how else to refer to her. Her name is Sage. My family has gone to her for spiritual advice and healing for years."

"Yes, I remember her! Didn't she help your mom heal her lower back pain?" Liv asked excitedly.

"She sure did. I can give you her number if you want!"

After Liv ended her face-time call with Marcus, he gave her Sage's number. She immediately reached out to her to schedule a day where they can meet up.

- -

One day, Liv arrived at a beautiful park to discover Sage already sitting on one of the benches waiting. "Hi! I don't know if you remember me, I'm Marcus' friend Liv."

"Yes! Hi Liv, it's nice to see you again," Sage reached out and gave Liv a warm hug. "Now what can I help you with?"

Liv sat down next to Sage. "Well, I discovered Non dualism a few months ago, and I'm not sure if I misunderstood the message or not, but I thought you had to let go of ego in order to realize your true nature as awareness. And after you realize this, you can experience whatever you want. So long story short, I stopped enjoying life because I thought I had to do that in order to be enlightened."

Sage hesitated for a moment, and then smiled. "Think about it this way.. if it's true that our true nature is awareness, or God, whatever label you put on it, why would you have to go through these unnecessary steps in order to 'become' it? If that's what you already are in the first place?"

Liv opened her mouth to reply, then closed it again. Maybe Sage had a point.

"Here are my thoughts. If anyone is telling you to 'drop the ego', it's bullshit," Sage chuckled. "The point of Non Dualism is realizing that you were always awareness. You were always the awareness behind everything that seems to appear. The ever-stretching, limitless silence that can take on the form of anything. The ego is just a thought. The idea that you are not already fully realized is also just a thought. In reality, there's no ego or person here to let go of. No person here who needs to become 'fully realized.' Just drop the idea that you are a limited human that has to become something, and you'll be golden."

Liv's jaw dropped to the ground. "You're telling me it was THAT SIMPLE THIS ENTIRE TIME?"

Sage laughed heartily. "Yes it is. Why do you think it took masters like Lester or Sri Nisgardatta months or YEARS to 'realize Self?' because they spent so much time trying to get rid of an ego that doesn't exist!"

Liv let out a sigh of relief. "So there really is nothing to do. I can't believe I exerted all that effort for nothing. I do have one more question, how can I experience whatever I want knowing I'm awareness? I want to be a completely different person with a different past."

"The person you think you are now, and the one you want to be are both illusions. You, as awareness, can 'choose' either one like a costume. Everytime you think about this ideal version of you, you've already experienced it," Sage grinned.

Suddenly a wave of emotions flooded through Liv, a mixture of relief and happiness. She felt the urge to give Sage a tight hug. "Thank you so much for helping me today."

"You're so welcome, sweetie."

Good for Liv, she has finally accepted her omnipotence and freedom to experience anything!

#non dualism #nondualism #consciousness #awareness #self #self realization #another long story but i hope the message was clear

293 notes · View notes

explosionkatsu · 7 months

Text

Just some random drabbles. Hahahahaha!

Bakugo x Singlemom Y/n

"I can't do this."

The love of your life said after you gave birth to your baby.

"W-what?" You couldn't believe what you were hearing. Why now? Why is he backing up now?

"I can't be a father. I don't know how to be a father. Fuck, we shouldn't have done this." He spouted. "I can't take care of that thing."

"This thing you're talking about is our child." You were now enraged. Angry tears streaming down your face as you stare in the man in front of you.

This was supposed to be a great moment. He, carrying your child in his arms while you gaze at them lovingly. But no. He was backing out.

The dream of having your own family was immediately shattered.

"W-why?" You asked. "Why now?"

He looked at you with frantic eyes as if he suddenly realized all his responsibilities. "I'm sorry."

The last word you heard from him before he finally left.

---

Several nurses came to your room when they suddenly heard you crying. Some pity you and some comfort you.

You don't know what to do, what to think.

Your tears continuously stream down your cheeks as you stare at what is supposed to be your little bundle of joy. But right now, as you gaze at your son's peaceful complexion, you are hurting. Everything reminded you of that asshole.

You remembered giving up as a hero when you met him. You remember him telling you how much he wanted a family with you.

All of it was a lie.

"Why.." You whispered. "Why does it have to be me.." You sobbed.

Some days passed like a blur. You were exhausted, depressed, and motionless. Whenever your child starts crying, you can't take him in your arms to rock him to sleep or feed him. You had to ring a nurse to assist you.

They were very understanding of your situation, though. They never complain or even ignore you. Some are comforting you, giving you your meal even though you never touched it. They were worrying about you.

Until you decided to tell him.

He's been there with you ever since high school. Sure, everyone didn't expect you two to be companions, but as of the moment, he's the only someone you have.

Gradually, you picked up your phone from the table beside you. Seeing how many missed calls and messages he left made you at least smile. You read a few of his messages before you click the call button and put it on speaker waiting for him to pick up.

---

An uneventful patrol is what is in his head as he walks around where he's positioned. People are greeting him which he nods in response. Some tried taking a picture with him but he refused to entertain them since he was on duty. He can't lose his concentration.

That was when his phone suddenly rang. If it's Eijiro, he'll sure hang up. But when he checked the caller ID, it was you. Instantly, he pressed the answer button and placed his phone next to his ear.

"The hell happened to you? Why haven't you answered my calls?" Katsuki spoke out while still keeping an eye around him.

Katsuki heard you chuckle on the other line.

"Hello to you too, Katsuki." You giggled.

"You didn't answer my question, dumbass." He tsked.

"I-i.."

Something's off and he knows it.

"What's wrong?" Almost instantly, Katsuki's voice went soft.

You didn't know how to tell him. Katsuki has always hated your ex ever since you guys started dating. He was even pointing out the red flags and yet you chose to ignore his advice.

"I- Katsuki.." You muttered, trying not to cry.

Katsuki was patient though.

"He left.."

After those words came out of your lips, Katsuki immediately asked for her location and ended the call.

There are other heroes around him. They can protect them. Right now, his top priority is you.

---

Once Katsuki reached the hospital, the receptionist was surprised by his sudden appearance. Part of them wanted to be a fan girl but right now, he looks like he's on a rush.

"Tell me Y/N L/N's room, now."

"Y-yes Mr. Dynamight."

---

When Katsuki swung the door, it opened too quickly causing it to hit the wall loudly.

"Y/n!?" He yelled.

But the view in front of him shut him up.

There you are, sitting on the hospital bed as you gaze outside the window, carrying a sleeping baby.

"You'll wake him up, you know." You giggled and turned your gaze to him.

"Where is he?" He growled and made his way towards you closing the poor door behind him.

Mentioning him suddenly made your smile drop and stare at your child.

"H-he.. Backed out.." You said as you gazed upon the peaceful sleeping child in your arms. "He left us."

"That motherfucker." Katsuki cussed. "I know he's a coward."

You chuckled sadly. "You've always warned me about him." You said. "I should've listened."

Katsuki didn't say anything. He dragged a chair and sat beside the hospital bed close to you.

"I should've believed in every word you said." You were now tearing up. "I should've-" You couldn't hold it back any longer and sob quietly. "I-i'm sorry, Katsuki.."

"Tsk." you heard him.

Standing up once again, Katsuki sat on your hospital bed this time and placed a palm on your cheek, wiping a tear with his thumb. "Dumbass." He said, staring at you. "Why are you apologizing? Didn't I tell you I will support you in all your decisions? Everything." He added.

You looked at him, still tearing up. You were so lucky you had someone like him.

Several minutes have passed until you finally calm down. Your head resting against his shoulder while he plays with your hair.

"I can be his father." he blurts out of nowhere which makes you pull back and stare at him in disbelief.

"What?" You were confused, okay?

"I want to be his father." Katsuki repeated with a blank face.

"K-katsuki. I-

"Look." Katsuki sighed. "I liked you for what? How many fucking years. Fuck, this isn't the right time for a confession, but hell. I- shit. I don't like you, I fucking love you, you idiot."

He was ranting while you were still processing what he said.

He loves you?

"Y-you love me?" You blinked.

"I said a lot of words and that's the only one you heard?"

#bakugou katsuki #bnha bakugo katsuki #bakugou x reader #mha bakugou #katsuki bakugo mha #bakugou x y/n #bnha bakugou #bakugou katuski x reader #bakugou x you #katsuki bakugo x reader

1K notes · View notes

sergle · 7 months

Note

(re: sssniperwolf and jacksfilms) It's laughable that she escalated it that hard. Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty sure stalking him like that is illegal and it's terrifying regardless, but Jack said in a stream (can't remember which one) that he wasn't about bringing up past controversies of hers or cancelling. And now she shows up outside his house (wtf!!!). Like he was willing to only call her out for stealing and freebooting but she's gone and stalked him and Jack doesn't seem like the type of guy to take that shit. Actual WTF moment from her part. wild

omg long post below bc apparently I have opinions: YES!! THAT'S WHAT'S SO INCREDIBLE ABOUT THIS... Jack has been genuinely diligent about keeping things on-topic in his streams, and hasn't brought up any of her other Stuff, or anything Personal. Despite the fact that she kickstarted the whole thing by making it INCREDIBLY personal and attacking his physical appearance... His goal has been to call out and bring attention to content theft, and he's stuck with it. Dude's also cared about this for years, and she's not the first content thief he's criticized. He just hates the way that freebooting has become so accepted-- to the point where youtube praised her for "coming up with such creative video ideas"? Hey! Ew! Dude wasn't trying to get her cancelled though, there was no smear campaign of her character. He's been rallying to get her to CREDIT the creators that she relies on for all of her content. It would set a precedent for all other "react" channels on the platform for one of the biggest channels on youtube to actually give credit where credit is due. Or, god forbid, get permission first? It's not hard. It's already done the job of making some other people who do "react content" self-analyze whether or not their content is transformative, and to maybe care about crediting the creators they rely on for their genre to work. There is a way to make this kind of video that isn't so slimy. And making fun of her lackluster-at-best reactions is so far from even being a big deal. Bc she literally does just sit there and say nothing. Plus, his goal has a clear End built into it: if she started shouting out the creators she takes content from, and put links directly to their pages in her video descriptions, the job would be done! That's what he's asking her to do. Real bare minimum stuff. It legit would have been easy to steer away from the content theft and to also talk about her history of lying to her audience! her ghosting a dying kid with cancer who was a big fan of hers! the fact that she's been arrested for armed robbery! her history of transphobia! He would also get more clicks that way, which is what she claims is his sole goal- to get more clicks. I'll bring it up though! She's been a terrible person the whole time, and has kept a steady course of manipulating her audience of young children and/or, let's be completely honest, simps- into thinking that she's a Wholesome creator. (And now, into thinking she's an innocent victim.) All of the actual effort put in by her has gone toward optics, not the content she puts out. A carefully constructed online persona, for one, but also literal appearances. Jack totally can't say this, bc she already went off the handle and said the only reason he doesn't like her is bc he Hates To See A Woman Be Successful. But I can! That was a cheap shot for her to use that argument when, for once, it's not applicable! Much the opposite, even! Dudes online wouldn't go to bat for her if she didn't look the way she does. And it weakens any case she'd have against him by making baseless claims like that. She banks hugely on being an attractive woman to get her clicks/following. A massive amount of effort is put into her appearance. The makeup, the lip fillers, putting her hair in little pigtails, the chokers and tube tops, the big non-prescription Nerd Glasses, the thumbnails where she has her mouth open in That Expression?

I don't even have to say anything. But making a weird facial expression and putting your hair in pigtails aren't moral failings. Showing up at someone's real life home (whose address you shouldn't even have access to), filming the front of their house at night, doxxing them to your audience of millions of people? Because you were mad at them online? That is fully scary! Yeah girl I'm pretty sure that Jack can press charges! There is absolutely no way to take the moral highground now that she's literally stalked him, and doxxed his home. She tried to goad him and Erin (Jack's wife) out of the house, also, which creeps me out even more-- because what was she planning to do? The fact that she's been arrested for violent crime before does pop into my mind! lmao! Jack was streaming a game at the time that she was outside his home, and these clips of him, his friends, and Erin reacting in real time to what is genuinely a scary situation have been taken down in case he needs to use them in legal action. Shit is legitimately serious!

#sergle answers #long post #LONGEST POST ON EARTH I'M SO SORRY #saying all this out loud only takes a few minutes but typing it... girl this is a BOOK #clearly I have thoughts on this Online Drama but also this isn't online!#these are people who exist in real life. and compromising a person's safety bc he criticized you for stealing tiktoks #is a real life thing. this isn't confined to online spaces! you can turn off your computer to get away from An Argument #but someone going to your house?? that's absolutely terrifying #and all of this is just because he's been telling her to credit the creators. it could have been resolved so simply.#I hope he takes legal action against her bc he genuinely has grounds to do so.#and I can't imagine how terrified and upset I would be if someone was outside my door. filming my house for their audience.#also the 'what if the roles were reversed' argument is rarely made in good faith... but she's already brought up the topic.#this would be getting even more coverage and the optics would be Even Creepier if a strange man with millions of followers showed up #at the home of a woman- just bc she criticized his videos- filming her home address for all to see and trying to get her to come outside.#It's just as creepy that sssniperwolf did this as it would be coming from ANYONE else #it's been downplayed bc her being a little skinny woman means that A Man shouldn't be threatened by her #which. even if she wasn't going to Do anything. any one of her rabidly loyal online followers MIGHT. she's not the only one who could go to #his house now! anyone could show up.#sergle.txt #Jacksfilms #Sssniperwolf

479 notes · View notes

heavyhitterheaux · 4 months

Text

Ghost Part 2

AN: 🤭🤭🤭

Synopsis: Jack makes it known to you that he wants to do right by Ace, but you still have hesitations in the back of your mind. It isn't until he decides to do something drastic that lets you know you had been right all along and that you will do anything to protect your son.

Pairing: Jack Harlow x Reader

Read Part 1 first

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

After that night, Jack kept trying to call you to apologize, but you were steadily ignoring his calls. The next step was him texting you to plead with you to talk to him, but you were not in the mood to put up with him and didn't want to hear anything that he had to say.

Jack- Y/N, please talk to me. I'm sorry about what happened. It's been almost three weeks since I talked to Ace

Jack- I promise to make it up to Ace and to you if you'll let me

You- Ace told me that he didn't want to talk to you right now and why all of a sudden are you making it a priority that you talk to him? Any other time you wouldn't care

Jack- Did he say that or did you? And he's my son so obviously I want to talk to him

You- Look, Harlow. I am protecting MY son at all costs and if it has to be from you, then so be it

Jack- But he's my son too

You- Okay and he's only your son at your convenience. You have basically ignored him just about his entire damn life and then get in your feelings when he called someone else daddy. Are you really even upset about not having a good relationship with him or is it your pride that's hurting? I think it's the latter

Jack- Y/N, please. I get that I've messed up but I want to do better

You- We'll talk to you when we're ready

For the rest of October, it came and went without any more incidents from Jack which you were surprised by. Because you were sure by now he would have pulled something.

It was as if he was trying to be better for you and for Ace. But you still weren't sure and still had your hesitations. Why would you trust someone who has given you every reason in the world not to?

One morning you woke up and checked your banking app to see that he not only sent money to pay for daycare, but an extra two thousand. Thinking that it was a mistake, you quickly sent the extra money back, but within twenty minutes it was back in your account and that's when you finally sent him a text.

You- Why did you send me an extra two thousand? I sent it back, but you sent it to me again

Jack- I remembered you mentioned to me a while back that Ace needed some winter clothes so I sent it. Get something for yourself too.

You- Jack, I don't need this much and have you suddenly switched places with someone else? I usually have to beg you to even send money for daycare and half the time you don’t even remember to do it

Jack- It's for the two of you so keep it and no I haven’t

You were simply taken aback and didn't know what to say or make of it.

You- Well, thank you

Jack- Um do you think I can get him this weekend?

You- the entire weekend?

Jack- Well yeah. If you don't have anything planned this weekend that is

You- I will see what he says and then I’ll let you know

Jack- Okay

You guess he was trying to make up for lost time, but you were still at the point where you wanted to be done with him. But if he did decide to be in his life, would it be for the long run? Because the last thing you wanted was for Ace to get comfortable with him being around and then he suddenly disappears.

You usually had to beg him to pay for it and remind him every month, but this time he did it without even a word needing to be uttered from you. And he was a week early with sending it to you.

After that incident between Jack and Clay and Ace seeing it, Ace stopped asking to call Jack before his bedtime and it was eventually replaced with Jack calling him and you were surprised by him checking on how you were too.

The last time he did that was before Ace was born. However, you kept it short and sweet and gave him one word answers because at this point, you were tolerating him and nothing else.

There were a few times when Jack first started to call that Ace didn’t want to talk to him and that made Jack's heart sink and he knew that he had to do better. He was now on the receiving end and didn't like the way it felt knowing that this was how Ace felt when he didn't answer the phone.

You didn’t understand where this new attitude and changes were coming from, but you were in no way, shape, or form complaining about it because of how happy Ace was.

He had taken Ace out a few times with Jack after apologizing properly to the two of you spending the weekend with him and Ace always came back home to you so happy that he was finally getting to spend time with his dad, so the last thing that you were ever going to do was ruin it.

You take it that it was Clay yelling at him and Ace not wanting to be around him that served as his wake-up call to get his shit together.

One night after Jack called Ace to say goodnight, he quickly said that he wanted to talk to you once you were back in your bedroom by yourself.

“Yes?”

“Uh, how are you? Are you okay? Do you need anything?”

“I’m fine and no.” You were trying to keep this conversation short and sweet so you could go to sleep. Unless it had to do with Ace, you didn’t feel that there was a need to talk to him.

“Umm, would the two of you want to come to NPLH? It’s December 18th. Ace has never seen me perform before and… neither have you. At least I don't think you have.”

When you were quiet and didn’t give him an answer, he spoke up again.

“I.. Y/N, I’m trying to do right by the both of you and it shouldn’t have taken this long. But I am trying to change and be the best possible version of myself for both of you. I'm tired of the disappointed looks that I get from him as well as you.”

“You don’t need to worry about me, just him. I’m used to being disappointed in you, so my expectations regarding anything having to do with you are in hell. Ace is only three so he’s quick to forgive and forget. However, I am not.”

“I… deserved that. I do need to worry about you because you’re his mother. So what do you say? You would be backstage with all of my friends and family. Safe from the crowd, because I know Ace doesn’t like them.”

Now this had you doing a double take because you had no idea that Jack knew that Ace didn’t like crowds.

“Don’t look so surprised that I know that. Now does that sound okay with you? I can get him those headphones too to protect his ears since I know he hates loud noises. I’ll come and get you both myself before the show starts.”

“And you don’t think anyone will say anything when they notice that he looks just like you? I want to keep him protected from the life that you live.”

“We can deal with it when the time comes. I mean they’re going to have to find out eventually anyway, right? So what do you say?”

“I guess, but I need three more tickets to give to my best friends who actually help me take care of Ace even though they don’t have to and do it because they love him just as much as I do. Even though Ace let it slip to them that you were his dad and they probably have a grudge against you now, they still like your music… at least I think they do.”

“Of course, whatever you want. And are they going to say anything? Do I need…”

“They don’t need to sign NDA’s and I didn’t even break mine. So, you’re going to make your own son sign a NDA? He’s the one that said it.”

“Well, no. I guess not.”

“Then we’ll be there.”

The day had finally come and Jack had been nervous from the time that he had woken up. He was now eating breakfast with Urban who noticed that his best friend kept fidgeting. Last night he had sent you the three extra tickets which you immediately sent to Nadia so that she would have them.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” He asked while sliding his orange juice closer to him.

“I… Y/N is coming tonight and she's bringing Ace. I’m actually going to get them before the show and bring them to the arena.”

“Oh, the baby mama and son that you act like don't exist. Got it.”

All Jack did was roll his eyes.

“I deserved that, but I'm trying to be better moving forward. I don't want him to grow up and despise me because at this rate, that's exactly what's going to happen.”

“Like bro…. Your parents don't even know about him. And he's what? Almost four?”

“I was going to also ask her if I could take Ace to see them on Christmas. They might be less mad? I mean they’ll see him tonight, but I don’t know if that’s the time or place to drop that on them.”

“I… Jack….. what? Is he supposed to be their Christmas present? You should have told them when it first happened.”

“Either way it looks bad and they're going to want to kill me so I might as well get it all out in the open.”

“So, you went on and on about how she trapped you, but now you're suddenly all in? What changed?” Urban curiously asked.

“Hearing that he called Clay ‘daddy.’ That's me and I’m the only one he needs to be referring to. And the fact that for about two or three weeks after that happened and I tried to call and talk to him, he wouldn't come to the phone. I've been a shitty person towards Y/N and been a shitty father to my first born.”

“Maggie and Brian are going to kick not only your ass, but Clay’s too.”

“At least Clay has been there since he was a month old. I can't say the same thing.”

“Just do better moving forward, but do you want a relationship with him or are you just mad about what happened with Clay?”

“A little bit of both, not going to lie. When Y/N sent me that in a text, I was pissed but there's no one to be mad at but myself. And truth be told, I don't even know Y/N like I should. I hardly know anything about her for that to be the person that I have a child with.”

“Does Neelam know any of this? Did Y/N sign an NDA?”

“She doesn't and Y/N did when we first started messing around and if she really wanted to come for me and how I've treated Ace….”

“Deadbeat baby daddy.”

“URB! I was going to say that I'm surprised that she didn't break it.”

“Well you have to think, she's protecting him and herself. And the fact that she lives in Louisville too?”

“I just want us to be able to get along and raise Ace.”

“That's literally all that she probably wants but you were making it hard as hell.”

“I know and I can only imagine the looks on my parents faces.”

It was now around 4 PM when you heard a knock on the door and Ace immediately ran towards it and started to reach up to open it, but stopped once you had scolded him.

“Ace! Baby, get away from the door and wait for mommy to open it.”

“But mommy it's daddy! Hurry up please!”

You had to laugh at him telling you please and opened the door with him right behind you to see Jack staring at you.

“Uh hi.”

“Hi.” You responded flatly, but Ace immediately ran and climbed onto him. He figured at least one person was happy to see him.

“Daddy!”

“Hey bubs. You all ready to go?”

He eagerly nodded, but all you and Jack did was laugh.

“I think you need shoes first though, it's a little cold.”

Once all three of you arrived at the arena, Jack hopped out of his Jeep and opened your door which you were surprised by before going to get Ace out of his car seat.

All three of you made your way inside and backstage where a lot of his friends and family had already gathered waiting for the show to start.

There was a variety of different snacks and drinks on display backstage and you noticed two other little kids running around who you knew were Nemo's daughters and Jack's goddaughters.You immediately saw Clay out of the corner of your eye and he came over to hug you before hugging Ace who held onto him tightly.

“Hey, I'm surprised you actually said yes to coming.”

“Not going to lie, me too. But I really did this for Ace and not me. Everything I do is for him.” You said as you pinched Ace's cheek who smiled at you. You noticed that Ace was now a little more quiet and reserved since he was now around a crowd of people that he didn't know and this was typical. It took him almost a month to not sit by himself in daycare and get more comfortable.

You then saw Jack's parents make their way over to you, but just as you were about to speak to introduce yourself as well as Ace, Jack quickly intervened which surprised you and the last thing that you thought would happen did.

“Mom, dad, this is Y/N and her son, Ace.” You did your best to try and hide your disappointment while Ace was being held by Clay next to you confused. Urban was behind Jack and simply shook his head.

So much for saying that things would be different moving forward.

You talked to his parents for a little while before Ace mentioned that he was hungry and Clay proceeded to grab him something to snack on. Before long, it was time for Jack to do his set and he had given you the headphones for Ace so that the two of you could watch from the side of the stage.

But what you didn't notice was the rest of PG whispering to Urban.

“Uh, why does that kid look like a mini version of Jack? And who is she?” 2fo asked Urban who tried not to have a startled look on his face.

“Jack can answer that better than I can.” Was all he said before Neelam quickly inserted herself in the conversation.

“So, you know something we don't know in other words is what you're trying to say, correct?”

“Look, it's not my place. He'll tell you when he's ready.”

“All I need to know is if I'm going to have a problem out of her.”

“Neelam, she's not like that. At least from what he told me.”

“Well, you can never be too sure and I need to be prepared. I'll ask him about it later. He's worked entirely too hard to just have someone come and mess it up. Matter of fact I need to make sure she signs an NDA.”

—-

It was around one in the morning when all of you had finally gotten back to the apartment and Jack volunteered to put Ace to bed. The car ride back was a little awkward and of course the two of you didn't want to say anything in front of Ace. Once Jack had tucked Ace in, he came back out to the living room where you were and you noticed that he looked nervous.

“Y/N, I want to keep the both of you safe so that's why I didn't say that he was my son tonight.”

“But from your family and friends? What sense does that make?”

“I… Look, just hear me out. Can he spend the day with me and my family on Christmas day? And he can be with yours on Christmas Eve? I just figured that it wasn’t the time or the place to tell them about the two of you.”

Your breath hitched in your throat as you tried not to show how you were feeling on the inside. Christmas had been your favorite holiday up until the time that you were nine. Since then, Ace is the only reason why you started back celebrating it but it still didn't feel the same.

“The time to tell them was four years ago.” You quietly muttered and didn’t say anything after that.

“Y/N?” Jack called out to you because it had been a few minutes and you had yet to give him an answer.

“Um, you can have him in the afternoon.” That way he could at least open the presents that you had gotten him in the morning.

“But are you going to see your family? I don't want to inconvenience you or keep you from them.”

“No, so it's fine.” You kept it short and sweet and hoped that he would drop it and let it go since you agreed to let Ace go with him.

“Wait, why?” he curiously asked and you couldn’t even blame him for doing so.

“Because I can't see them. And why do you suddenly care so much?”

“Do they not know about Ace too, or?”

“Jack, my family is dead. I literally only have Ace. If I want to visit them, I have to go to the cemetery. So can we drop this now?” You asked while trying to avoid eye contact with him.

All Jack did was a double take before looking at you with wide eyes.

“Wait… so you’ve…. been by yourself basically this entire time?”

“I don't need your looks of pity. I'm fine.”

“But….”

“Jack, please. I don't want to talk about this anymore.”

“Okay um, I'll drop it for now. But, that means that I'm getting both of you on Christmas morning to spend the day with me and my family and you aren't saying no.”

“Just take Ace, I'll be fine.”

“Y/N, you aren't spending Christmas by yourself.”

“What difference does it make? This is my normal. Being a mom and then being by myself.”

“Well that stops this year. I do not want you to be by yourself. My family will love you. And you have me so there's no reason for you to be alone.”

“Hmm, yeah the baby mama you kept hidden for almost four years? The Only Fans model that you accidentally got pregnant? And I have you? Really? I had to beg you to even show our son an ounce of attention. And not even going to add in the fact that you thought I was lying about the entire thing and treating me like absolute shit.”

“Our kid is not an accident, Y/N. And I promised you that things are going to be different now. I apologize for how I acted towards you because that wasn't right. I was just scared and instead of telling you that, I ignored it until I created an even bigger situation that ended up hurting you, Ace, and myself.”

“He isn’t to me, but for you when I first told you he definitely was.”

“Please Y/N, us arguing is not going to solve anything. I'm going to tell my parents about you and Ace properly. Don't you think he deserves to know his grandparents?”

“Of course I do. I just never thought that I would see the day where this would become a reality. Not going to lie, when Ace got to be around 7 or 8, I was going to leave and move back home.”

“And where is that?”

“Philadelphia. I just needed to be near people that I could trust while he's this small. I was in D.C. since that's where I had gone to school and that's where I had him so I just stayed there until Nadia wouldn't take no for an answer and made me come down here. At least in Philly, I can hopefully buy the house that I grew up in. It's been on sale for some time and I've been saving up for it or at least trying to.”

“Wait, so you still want to leave Louisville?”

“I mean there's nothing here for me. It's not like I grew up here like you did and have a family that I can see whenever I want. The rest of my family didn't want me so there's that.”

“Well, I want you and Ace close to me. We can't do that if you move away.”

“According to you, I was stalking you, remember?”

“Y/N, can we just hold off on discussing that. One thing at a time and once again I'm not here to argue.”

All you did was cross your arms and sigh as you then heard Jack’s phone go off.

He looked down to see that it was Neelam and she was asking about you.

Neelam- Who is that girl and her son and why does he look like you? Start explaining IMMEDIATELY

Jack- I'm with her now, I'll text you later

Neelam- Um, no. Explain now.

Jack- His name is Ace and he's my child and his mother's name is Y/N and he's almost four.

Neelam- What in the actual FUCK?

Jack- I'll call you when I leave.

“Then it's settled. Both of you are coming with me. I have a shitload of presents for him and they’re all at my house so he can open them hopefully before everyone gets there.”

When you didn’t say anything, Jack simply grabbed your hand, startling you.

“Did you hear what I said?”

“I heard you, but we need to get one thing straight.”

“What is it?”

“You need to be all in with Ace because I refuse to let you break his heart for the millionth time.”

You were on facetime Nadia, Liv, and Blaire trying to figure out what to wear. It was currently Christmas Eve, and you had already put Ace to sleep when you decided to rummage through your closet for something decent to wear for tomorrow and meet Jack's family properly.

“What about the one that makes your boobs look big?” Blaire asked and you rolled your eyes.

“Blaire, they’re already big and I’m meeting his PARENTS!”

“Well technically you already did. They just didn't know who you were.” Nadia said as she was examining the black sweater dress that you were holding up.

“And I wonder what they're going to say when Jack tells him tomorrow.” Liv added as she was mixing up the batter for her Christmas cookies.

“They're going to be pissed, I already know. But what am I supposed to say when they ask how we met?” You asked as you were now looking for a pair of shoes to go with the dress.

“Wait, how did yall meet? Because we don't even know.” Blaire curiously asked.

“Nadia knows.” You quietly answered and you simply heard her sigh.

“Well are yall going to spill it or what!?”

“He was a subscriber to my Only Fans.” You quietly said as you pulled out your red and black knee high boots to go along with your dress.

Blaire spit her eggnog out that she had been drinking and Liv was simply looking at you with her mouth hanging wide open.

“Um, come again? No pun intended. But… WHAT?” You heard Liv yell and all you did was sigh.

“It happened right before my senior year and I've basically been a single parent ever since.”

“Well at least he's trying to do better for the both of you.”

“I don't care about me. That ship sailed long ago, the only person that I'm concerned about is Ace.”

“So even if Jack does get his shit all the way together and asks you to be in a relationship so yall can start with a clean slate, you would still say no?” Nadia curiously asked and it made you stop and think for a second.

“Yes.”

“Can we ask why?”

“I have seen the absolute worst in this man and how he treated me before was unacceptable and it will always be in the back of my mind. Instead of owning up to what he did, he called me a liar, a gold digger, claimed I was stalking him when I moved here and got mad when Clay wanted to have a relationship with Ace. How could I date someone like that?”

“He’s changing for the better, Y/N. You never know. But, your reasoning is 100% valid. I didn't know he had done all that.”

“Like he’s trying to be all nice to me all of a sudden and asking how I am or if I need anything but if it doesn't have to do with our son, there is literally no reason for me to talk to him. The conversations are awkward and it's like pulling teeth because he knows that I want absolutely nothing to do with him. Like he has to understand how bad he hurt me and the fact that I didn't have my family or anyone around me at that time to help me when he was born. I was scared shitless. There were some days when I couldn't eat because I had to pay for diapers because he refused to. I had to apply for government assistance until I found a better paying job. I have one now, but yet I’m still struggling. I don't think I will ever forgive him for that. My standards for him are in hell and I told him that the other day. I expect absolutely NOTHING from him. But, I would never talk bad about him in front of Ace. At the end of the day, he's going to be taken care of if it's left up to me. Him, I’m not so sure.”

All they did was simply nod at your response.

“I hear everyone talk about him in such a positive light, but that person that they're referring to? I’ve never met him. I’m on my guard because I just have a feeling that he's going to try and pull some shit.”

It was around noon on Christmas Day and Ace was busy playing with his new toys that Jack had gotten him while you along with his parents had congregated in the corner of the living room to discuss Ace. Jack figured he might as well before the rest of his family started to arrive.

“So, we have something to tell the both of you. And we wanted to tell you before everyone else got here.” Jack started to say while you were sitting next to him and trying not to fidget. You knew that this wasn't going to go over well and there was nothing that you could do to stop it. You were suddenly now more interested in your bracelet.

“What? What is it?” Maggie asked with concern showing on her face.

“Umm, Ace is my son.”

“Daddy, up!”

And right on cue, Ace yelled for Jack and was soon climbing all over him as he picked him up and started to play with his earrings while you were trying to not have a panic attack.

“Your….. what?” Brian quietly asked as Maggie still hadn't said anything. All she was doing was staring at Ace and finally seeing the resemblance between the two of them. Ace didn’t look like you at all.

“He's mine and Y/N is his mother.”

“How old is he?” Maggie asked as you could tell she was trying not to yell.

“Almost four.”

“WHAT?! And you're just now saying something?”

“Because at first he thought I was lying and only after his money which wasn't true and said that I trapped him. Once the paternity test confirmed that Ace was in fact his, he still wanted nothing to do with him. However, Clay did and he's known him since he was a month old.” You confessed as Jack looked on with wide eyes.

“But, we're in a better place now.” Jack quickly said while chiming in attempting to make himself not sound like a complete deadbeat.

“Hmm.” Was all you said in response as you looked down at your nails.

Before they had a chance to respond, Jack's front door opened and in walked Clay with a bunch of gifts in his hands which you assumed was for Ace since Clay had told you previously he had gotten gifts for him.

The only thought in your head was where you were going to put all of them in your small apartment.

All eyes were on Clay and he quickly got a confused look on his face before having a moment of realization.

“Oh, so he finally told you two about being a deadbeat?” He asked as Ace slid off of Jack’s lap and immediately went over to Clay who was setting the gifts down. When he was finished, he quickly picked him up.

“Seriously?” Was all Jack did as he sucked his teeth and rolled his eyes.

“I… people are going to start to be here soon but we'll finish discussing this later. Y/N, you seem like a sweet girl and I commend you for taking such good care of Ace when you didn’t have anyone to help you.” Was all Maggie said before eyeing her oldest son and she stood up to head into the kitchen while Brian just sat there in disbelief.

It was a few days into the new year when you had gotten a call from a strange number on your way home from work as Ace was asleep in the backseat. At first you declined the call, but when they called three more times in a row, you finally decided to answer.

“Hello?”

“Y/N? This is Katrina.”

“Katrina, who?” You asked confused and wondering how the woman that you did not know suddenly got your number.

“Your Aunt Katrina.”

At that moment all you saw was red. She was the one that refused to take you and decided to place you into the foster system since your mother and her had a long outstanding beef that you had nothing to do with and you didn’t even know what it was about. Yet, you were the one that felt the consequences from it.

“What do you want and how did you get my number?”

“I… I can explain later, but how far away are you from Philly right now?”

“Why?”

“Your grandmother. They’re saying she has probably weeks or even days to live and ever since they told her that, she has been persistent on us finding you.” She quietly said and it took everything in you not to drop your phone.

“Finding me for what? Yall didn’t want me remember?” You shot back as you pulled into the parking garage of your apartment building.

“Y/N, please. It wasn’t that simple. But how soon can you be here? She said that there is no way in hell, her words not mine, that she was leaving this earth without seeing you.”

“I… just have to pack my things along with my son. I’ll drive and I should be there by the morning if I don’t make a lot of stops.”

“I’ll text you the details.”

As soon as you hung up, you were in somewhat of a daze. As many years that have gone by, you thought your grandmother would have passed away already. If you did your math right, she had to be close to 100 by now. You felt that your grandparents were the only other people in your family that truly loved you and would have done anything for you besides your parents and older brother.

You carried Ace inside while taking off his jacket and laying him down on the couch as you ran around the apartment and trying to pack the essentials of what you two might need. You didn’t plan on staying for very long, but more than likely you were going to stay for her funeral. You figured that it was the least you could do. And get an explanation on why Katrina had given you up so easily.

A quick text was sent to Nadia, Blaire, and Liv telling them that you were headed back home for a family emergency. All they did was tell you to keep them updated as you were now finishing packing your car for the ten close to eleven hour trip. It was around seven at night when you finally got on the road and hit the highway hoping to get to your grandmother before it was too late. You did your best to keep your tears from falling because you felt that you had been robbed.

All these years, she was alive and you had no idea.

It was true that you could have looked for her if you wanted to, but you had it in your mind that they wanted nothing to do with you.

It was around ten at night when Ace had finally started to stir and noticed that the two of you were still in the car and looked around confused.

“Mommy, where are we going?” You heard him say as he startled you.

“We’re going to see the place where mommy grew up. Or sort of for that matter. It’s going to be a long drive so you can go back to sleep.”

“Okay.” Was all he quietly said and you soon looked back in your rearview mirror to see that he had drifted off.

Once you had hit Philly, it was around six in the morning and you decided to find a hotel for you and Ace to stay and actually lay down in a comfortable bed. At least for two hours until you went to go and see her. Being back there was something out of a dream and you made it up in your mind to get a cheesesteak before the two of you left to go back to Louisville since when you get it out of state, it doesn’t quite taste right.

After getting some much needed sleep, you and Ace set out to your grandmother’s house since that’s where Katrina said she was on hospice as much as you didn’t want to believe her. Once you pulled up to the house, you wanted to cry. It looked the same exact way and it still had the swing set in the front yard that your grandfather built for all of his grandkids. You grabbed Ace out of the backseat, reminded him to mind his manners even if he didn’t need one and proceeded to knock on the door.

You were startled to see your Aunt Katrina open it and it took her a second to notice that it was you seeing as the last time that she was you, you were only nine years old.

“Y/N.”

“Katrina.”

“And who is this little one?” She asked as she stepped to the side to let the both of you in.

“My name is Ace! I’m three, almost four. What’s your name, ma’am?” Ace piped up and said which you were surprised by seeing as anytime he was around new people, he would hide behind you.

“Well, aren't you cute? Named after your uncle, I see. That makes me your great Aunt Katrina.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” Ace added while holding his hand out for her to shake and you couldn’t help but to laugh.

“She’s upstairs.” Was all Katrina said to you and your legs instantly felt like they weighed a thousand pounds. You nodded towards her and started to make your way up the steps while holding Ace’s hand. Once you got to her room, the door was open and you could hear the sound of the television that was currently on The Price is Right which made you laugh to yourself. When you were at home sick that’s what you would watch. You walked in to see that her eyes were closed, but you quickly heard her voice.

“About time you showed up. Took them forever to track you down and find you.” Was all she said as her eyes opened and smiled at you.

“My sweet Y/N. My youngest granddaughter.”

That was the moment that you immediately burst into tears as you sat on the bed and hugged her.

“I….” You started to say but she quickly shook her head.

“It doesn’t matter. You’re here now and that’s what’s important.” She comforted you as she held you tighter.

“Now, who’s this young man?” She said when the two of you finally broke apart and she now noticed Ace standing next to you.

“Your great grandson, Ace.”

“Ace, I love that name. You know you’re named after one of the sweetest boys that I ever knew.” She said as Ace climbed up to sit next to her.

“Really? My mommy always tells me that I’m named after someone really special.”

“That you are.”

Your grandmother had sent Ace downstairs for Katrina to watch him as she wanted to speak to you alone and now you were suddenly nervous.

“First off, never think for a second that a day went by and I didn’t think of you. Or that I didn’t do my hardest to try and find you after you had gone into the system. Katrina was dead wrong for how she handled it because of a simple grudge, but also more wrong in telling those people that me and your grandfather didn’t want to take you. Instead I spent years trying to track you down with no luck. I wanted you and wanted to keep you, but you had moved around so many times that eventually, the state lost the file that tracked where you were leaving me no leads. I looked from the time that you first went in to try and get you back, up until the time you turned eighteen.”

“You… wanted to keep me?”

“Of course I did! Left up to me, there was no way in hell one of my grandchildren was going to be put through that, but… I’m just happy to see you alive, well, and thriving. That son of yours is beautiful and he has your smile. He has the best mother that anyone could ask for and I know it.”

“So, all this time?”

“It wasn’t until my diagnosis about a month ago when I said, no, demanded that Katrina find you. It was the least she could do for what she did. She started to feel guilty where it started to look like I would never find you about the time you would have been fifteen. I figured if these are going to be my last few days here, I need to see Y/N. I wanted to tell you how much I love you and that I have a little surprise for you.”

“I’m just happy I got to see you and that you got to meet my heart outside of my chest and reason for living. What is it?”

“I know how much your parents and your brother meant to you and that you don’t have many things to remember them by. So, I noticed that the house all of you used to live in went on sale….”

All you did was gasp and your heart started beating a mile a minute having an idea about what she was about to say.

“And I bought it. And put the deed in your name. I know that you’re in Louisville right now, but whenever you’re ready, it’ll be here waiting for you.” She said as she opened her bedside table and handed it to you.

“I… I literally don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. That’s the least that I could do for you. I hope you can accept that as my apology and you have to promise me that you’ll pass it down to Ace so it can always stay in the family.”

—

Your grandmother passed the very next day and knew that she only held on long enough so that she could see you and make sure that you were okay. At least you now knew that she never stopped trying to find you while you were in the system and wanted to keep you so that she and your grandfather could raise you themselves. You were currently at your hotel with Ace as he was playing with one of the many toys that Jack had gotten for him when your phone suddenly went off. You had been in such a daze for the past forty eight hours that you had forgotten to even look at your phone or tell him what had happened for that matter. Your only priority was getting here safely before it was too late. Because you knew that you wouldn’t have been able to live with yourself if you didn’t.

“Hello?” You tiredly said as you glanced at the clock on the nightstand that read 11 AM. Soon it would be time to head over to your grandmother’s house to start planning the funeral.

“Where have you been? And why haven’t you answered my calls? Where is Ace?” Jack all said in one breath and you quickly got annoyed. You had enough to deal with at the moment.

“Well hello to you too. I’m okay, thanks for asking.”

“Where are you and why haven’t I heard from you? I went by your apartment and you weren’t there.”

“I’m in Philly. I’m back home.” Was all you could get out before Jack immediately started to raise his voice and not letting you explain the reasoning for you actually being there.

“And you took my son with you?”

“Uh? Why wouldn’t I? He’s my child and I wanted to show him where I grew up and don’t you have a career to focus on? You were going to keep him the entire time I was up here?”

“So, that’s the game we’re going to play now, huh?” He said and you couldn’t help but to be confused.

“Jack, what are you even talking about? Who is playing games?”

“That was your damn plan the entire time. Move back home and take Ace with you.”

“Jack, that’s not…”

“Okay, I got something for you too. Expect me to file for full custody once he’s back across state lines.”

He immediately hung up and you were left speechless.

You knew it.

You fucking knew he would pull some shit like this.

Taglist:

@harlowsbby

@babyharleezy

@hoodharlow

@stefansalvatoresgf

@jackiehollanderr

@primadxna-girl

@dessmxsworld

@cockslutslurper3000

@raelorns21

@variety-fangirl

@gbaabyyyy

@kamorsstuff

@harlowthot

@sinsandsuccubus

@curlyhairclub

@bootlegroach

@haylexo10

@thinkingaboutjharlow

@fluidsentiment

@charli123456789

@moody4world

@yourstrulymayah

@yana4life

@beanbagbitch

@alinaharlow

@carma-fanficaddict

@minaxcarter

@arination99

@xjup1t3r

@venusvinc

@jackharloww

@midnight-star47

@minkookie95

@inluvwithladybug

@exoticr0ses

@jharlowsangels

@jackierose902109

@knack4harlow

@cmalass

@megawhoree

@softtcurse

@sia2raw

@miniaturehideoutmentality

@hoya122

@nattinatalia

@jackslover12

@skyesthebomb

@jackharlows-world

@louisianalady

@fdl305

@automaticpeachsong

@harlowcomehome

@gassyandsassy1

@babygirlwilly

@amethyst09

@harrycanyonmoonn

@bout-mine

@tattered-tales

@sisiking99

@dessxoxsworld

@gillybear17

@jacksdaycare

@iheartharlow

@disaster-rose

@babyvinnie

@evansxchalamet

@chtkmyharlow

@itsyagirljaz

@neon-lights-and-glitter

@awhore4moree

@a-moment-captured

@jackmans-poison

@valentinqee

@lightsoutstyles

@j-worlds-blog

@middlechild404

@0elliotswhore

@iknowdatsrightbih

@w1ldthoughts

@love2loveonme

@hufflewhore128

@shawtypoison

@fantasywritersstuff

@harlowtales

@its-jennarose

#jack harlow #jack harlow fic #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x black reader #jack harlow angst #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow fanfiction #jackman thomas harlow #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow concepts

326 notes · View notes

mcflymemes · 11 days

Text

AS SAID BY GARRUS VAKARIAN, updated version * assorted dialogue from the mass effect trilogy, adjust as necessary

i can't find any hard evidence.

good luck, [name]. maybe they'll listen to you.

i'm coming with you.

sometimes it feels like the rules are only there to stop me from doing my work.

i just couldn't take it anymore.

maybe i can get the job done my way for a change.

if you're wrong, we'll pay for it. but if you're right, and we did nothing, i think we'd regret it a whole lot more.

i thought you were dead.

it sure is good to see a friendly face.

at least it's not hard to find criminals here. all i have to do is point my gun and shoot.

my feelings got in the way of my better judgement.

i'll make you a deal. you get me out of here alive, and i'll tell you the whole damn thing.

nobody would give me a mirror. how bad is it?

don't make me laugh, damn it.

some women find facial scars attractive.

i'm fit for duty whenever you need me.

when i got to the meeting point, no one was there.

kill you? no. but i don't mind slowing you down a little.

what do you want from me, [name]?

i know you want to talk about this... but i don't. not yet.

it's so much easier to see the world in black and white. gray... i don't know what to do with gray.

my instincts are what got me into this mess.

never knew you had a weakness for men with scars.

well, why the hell not? there's nobody in this galaxy i respect more than you.

if we can figure out a way to make it work, then... yeah. definitely.

you're about the only friend i've got left in this screwed-up galaxy.

you don't ever have to worry about making me uncomfortable. nervous, yes... but never uncomfortable.

i brought wine.

your hair looks... good. and your waist is... very supportive.

hopefully that's not offensive in human culture.

i want something to go right. just once.

think you can win this thing, [name]?

i'm pretty sure we'll still need giant guns... and lots of them.

so... is this the part where we shake hands?

the scars are starting to fade. i remember they drove you wild.

i've been doing some more research on human customs.

glad to know my romantic skills made an impression.

let's not go there.

i can afford the good stuff.

what about you? i'm starting to see some wear and tear.

don't forget to come up for air. and not just because all these people need you. because i need you.

if you're suggesting i'm scared... game on.

still trying to make me blush, huh?

i'd be lying if i said i didn't hope it would inspire a certain... mood.

it seemed like you needed time to... figure us out.

the worst part about the galaxy going to hell would've been never getting to see you again.

not saying you don't know how to handle a gun. just saying some of us know how to make it dance.

i've actually seen you dance. no comment.

i know there are other things you're good at.

probably not a lot of air in here. an hour if we're lucky.

so tell me. think a girl would fall for that?

it gets even better when you try it in bed.

you don't lack for places to get lost.

did we break anything last night?

you'll find a way to win. and when this is over, i'll be waiting for you.

if this thing goes sideways and we both end up there... meet me at the bar. i'm buying.

forgive the insubordination, but your boyfriend has an order for you.

come back alive. it'd be an awfully empty galaxy without you.

we're in this 'til the end.

we didn’t kill these people. and we’re going to shut down the bastards who did.

looks like we’ve got a siege on our hand.

if anyone needs fresh clips or a bathroom break, now’s the time.

oh crap!

guess he didn’t like the food.

looks like we got the jump.

pretty extreme, but those were desperate times.

we won’t get a second chance.

that was me, sorry.

nothing like being stranded.

we’ll do more than that.

just the usual minor flesh wound.

what would these people have done if we hadn’t shown up?

i was there when you two had your thing, remember? just get a room and work it out.

stay angry. we’ll need it to get through this.

drinks will be on me.

one of my favorite places to fight!

i’m hard to kill. you should know that.

it’s gonna be bad all over.

for whatever it’s worth, i’m with you.

you’ve waited long enough for this day.

just wait ‘til this war is over.

you came along and warmed my heart with your winning personality.

maybe you’d like to go work for them instead?

how do i not have one of those?

surprise on our side for once. i like it.

brutal, but it makes a certain kind of sense.

#garrus vakarian #mass effect #mcflymemes #rp prompt #rp meme #rp memes #roleplay memes #roleplay prompt #rp starters #ask meme #ask memes #roleplay meme #roleplay inbox prompts #rp inbox meme #inbox prompt #inbox meme #sentence starter prompt #sentence starter #sentence starters

160 notes · View notes

lazycats-stuff · 6 months

Note

Could you do batman x son reader, where the reader struggles with an eating disorder. Maybe reader faints on a patrol or maybe he just trys to hide his Ed behaviors (like skipping meals, over exercising, purging, ect...) from the family, but one day the family just figures it out.

I completely understand if you don't feel comfortable writing this. You're writing is just really comforting to me so I thought I'd give it a shot. Have an awesome day. You're writing is amazing. Remember to take care of yourself first

Alright... I'm not uncomfortable, but I don't want anyone getting triggered by this or have someone relapse and fall back into the disorder. I had to be in the right mindset to write this so my apologies for the wait. Take care of yourselves everyone too.

Summary: (Y/N) is struggling with an eating disorder. The family figures it out.

Warnings: symptoms of eating disorder, EATING DISORDER, read with precaution and on your own risk!

(Y/N) has been struggling for a while now, but he made sure to hide it from his family. Nobody needed to know what he has been struggling with. (Y/N) went to the extreme lengths to make sure that his family didn't find out about his problem with food.

He knew that they would be all over him if they found out. He struggled with food for about a while now. He hated the way his body looked and he just wanted to have a perfect body.

It has started with over exercising. Even after everyone was done, (Y/N) would do it until he could barely walk back to his room. He did everyday and when just that didn't give the results that he needed, he started skipping meals. The skipped meals were normally dinners, saying that he was full from lunch.

He didn't do it often, he didn't want to raise any suspicions with his family. If he did anything that would raise suspicion, they would be all over him and they would probably bench him from the patrol. If that would to happen, then he wouldn't be happy.

If there was one thing holding him together, it would be patrol. The only thing.

He often found himself looking at the mirror, looking at his body. He noticed his hair and skin were dry beyond belief. He noticed that he got sicker more often, which didn't happen before. He always had strong immunity.

His teeth got sensitive and that was one of the reasons why he skipped meals sometimes. It has gotten to the point that he got dizzy whenever he stood up.

All of this was getting out of hand, but (Y/N) didn't see it. He has only one goal in mind and that is a perfect body. Something that doesn't exist. There is no such thing called a perfect body. There is no perfection either.

There is nothing in this world that is perfect. Nothing.

Other problem was the lack of concertation. He couldn't focus on anything for longer then 15 minutes before he just had to drop everything and just rest. It was difficult, considering that he is in a family full of detectives who solve cases daily.

Speaking of rest, he had problems too. Sure, being in a family that goes out every night to fight criminals and protect people of Gotham will mess up your schedule to a certain degree. But add an eating disorder to the mix and you have a recipe for disaster of a sleeping schedule.

Not to mention the control of his emotions. He found himself often having very extreme mood swings sometimes, but over time he learnt to control his emotions better. Somehow he managed to do it. But he didn't do certain things with his brothers and dad anymore.

He didn't have energy to do anything he used to do anymore. Only for patrol when adrenaline kicked in. Adrenaline is a hell of a drug when it came to patrol and some other things. But the fact is that adrenaline could only go so far.

Of course, there were close calls when it came to his family, but he managed to steer the attention away, keeping his disorder a secret for longer. If only (Y/N) knew what was going to happen soon.

Everything came to a head when all of them got back home from patrol. (Y/N) was freezing in his suit. Despite the suit being good at both heating and cooling, (Y/N) was shaking quietly. He could hear everyone talking, but he felt dizzy.

He blinked a few times before everything went black right before his eyes. Bruce has never turned around faster and Damian tried to catch him, but couldn't. Bruce ran over and quickly picked his son up, calling for Alfred to prepare the medical area.

Jason, Tim and Dick watched horrified from the side. As Bruce ran with him, he noted how light he was. Extremely lighter. Significantly. But that didn't matter now and Bruce didn't piece it together yet. Alfred watched as Bruce laid his grandson down.

Bruce had to step out to let Alfred do his thing. The boys were waiting patiently to hear what has happened to (Y/N).

" B, what's happening? " Jason asked and Bruce shook his head.

" I don't know. He just lost his consciousness out of nowhere. " Bruce explained to Jason and Damian just thought about certain things.

" Did anyone notice how often he worked out and for how long he did? " Damian asked and everyone got quiet for a moment. Dick nodded, snapping his fingers. " He does. He works out 2 hours after us too, just overworking himself. I thought it was stress. " Dick added to Damian's thought.

" And did anyone notice how often he skipped dinners? " Tim jumped in and Bruce had to think about it. He did skip dinners often.

" Or the fact that he doesn't do anything with us anymore? " Jason jumped in too and Bruce paled as he connected the dots.

" Also, his mood swings somethi- OH! " Dick said and Bruce sighed quietly.

" What are we thinking? "Jason asked and Bruce took a deep breath.

" I think that (Y/N) might have an eating disorder. " Bruce said quietly and everyone was shocked by it. But... it made sense.

" What do we do? " Tim asked and Bruce, probably for the first time in his life didn't know what to do.

" We tell him. We see how he reacts. And if he does have an eating disorder, then we are going to help him. One way or another. " Bruce declared and Dick quickly went to the Batcomputer to look into the symptoms quickly.

Just in case.

And to confirm their suspicions.

" How were we so stupid? " Jason asked and Bruce wondered the exact same thing. He did. He is his father, he is supposed to see when something is going on with his son. He is supposed to know it. If not know it, then sense it.

The dad sense! Bruce looked at the medical area where Alfred was making sure that his son and his grandson is okay.

" I was so blind. " Bruce muttered to himself as he rubbed his face.

" No B. " Dick said from the Batcomputer. There was a solemn look on his face now, eyes directed towards the medical area. " We were all so blind. But we can't stay on it now. We need to look for the ways to help (Y/N) if he does have an eating disorder and I think he does. " Dick said and Damian rubbed the back of his neck.

He couldn't help it and Jason had to sit down for a moment. Tim was just quiet. Dick looked down at the floor and Bruce just wanted to hug his son, but beat himself up at the same time.

His son has been suffering and yet they all were blind. Everyone moved to Alfred who exited and everyone was buzzing with excitement and sheer curiosity for their brother and son.

" He is skinny beyond belief. I can see his bones protruding and I nearly started crying right then and there. Oh I have been so blind. " Alfred said and the boys quickly brought him into a group hug. Bruce hesitated before joining in.

" We are going to help him. " Bruce said both to everyone and to himself. It is a promise and an oath. And does Bruce intend to make sure he fulfills it. No matter what.

#dc comics #dc x male reader #x male reader #batfamily #bruce wayne x male reader #batman x male reader #jason todd x male reader #red hood x male reader #damian wayne x male reader #robin x male reader #tim drake x male reader #red robin x male reader #dick grayson x male reader #nightwing x male reader #tw disordered eating #eating disoder trigger warning

343 notes · View notes

blacknedsoul-blog · 2 months

Text

A detailed explanation from my headcanon that Annabel has ADHD

So I had this six fucking hour trip. On a bus. Alone. And I was bored out of my mind, because sitting around being bored is as close to mental torture as it gets for me.

Fortunately, the light at the end of the tunnel: I was inspired. Away from the burnout I have with fanfics, I remembered that I've mentioned this headcanon several times on Nevermore's Discord and just thought, what better time to talk about ADHD than when I'm having a pretty ADHD moment?

But before I start, there are a few little things that need to be pretty clear on the table:

I'm being a bit hypocritical here: in general, I'm deeply against diagnosing fictional characters for two reasons: first, it's an impossible task to distinguish between character traits and symptoms to such an extent that you can go around forever without coming to a real conclusion unless the author of the work confirms it, and second, even if you have the disorder you're talking about, you can fall into the trap of perpetuating stereotypes or generalizing, thereby invalidating other experiences. So even if the tone of this review sounds very assertive, it is because of my writing style. I am in no way diagnosing Annabel; this is an analysis of her character through the lens of a possible disorder.

In relation to the above, where I point out an event in the comic that can be read as a symptom, I am not reducing it to "this only happens because she has ADHD". You CAN'T reduce a person's personality to "they has a disorder," and when I point out these examples, I'm not doing so with the intention of denying the background behind it, but rather pointing out how, under the magnifying glass of having it, it might exacerbate that behavior.

I am NOT a psychologist, a psychiatrist, or a neurologist: I am a woman with ADHD. One who has done a lot of research on the subject, been in therapy with a psychologist who specializes in the disorder, and talked extensively about it both with friends who also have it and with professionals. But I don't have a career in mental health, I don't pretend to, and everything you'll read below is a mixture of research and personal experience.

You're going to see a lot of "we" or "those of us with ADHD" because, as I said, I have it too, but this is all a generalization made for the sake of flow. The symptoms of this disorder can be expressed in many different ways, and not everyone has all of them (for example, there are some that I don't have, but it would be strange to change the voice of the text just because of that, it makes it harder to read). If you have ADHD and read a symptom and think "hey, I don't get that", that's perfectly normal. Your experience is valid and I don't want to pass it on. But it would be exhausting for me and for the reader to use tentative phrases all the time.

If this text resonates too much with you, I strongly recommend that you see a professional, if you're able, and not self-diagnose: ADHD has many symptoms in common with autism and other neuro divergences, don't risk misdiagnosis.

If you have a different opinion than mine on this subject and want to share it with me, I'll be happy to read it, if I don't answer it's because I forgot (forgive me?). But you can be sure that I will read it.

Anyway, let's get started.

What is ADHD?

According to the NIH (National Institute of Mental Health) website, this is the definition of ADHD:

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is marked by an ongoing pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity that interferes with functioning or development. People with ADHD experience an ongoing pattern of the following types of symptoms:

Inattention means a person may have difficulty staying on task, sustaining focus, and staying organized, and these problems are not due to defiance or lack of comprehension.

Hyperactivity means a person may seem to move about constantly, including in situations when it is not appropriate, or excessively fidgets, taps, or talks. In adults, hyperactivity may mean extreme restlessness or talking too much.

Impulsivity means a person may act without thinking or have difficulty with self-control. Impulsivity could also include a desire for immediate rewards or the inability to delay gratification. An impulsive person may interrupt others or make important decisions without considering long-term consequences.

Here is an impression that needs to be clarified: ADHD is more about an inability to regulate attention than a lack of it. A neurotypical person may choose to focus on a task to get it done, we may procrastinate to death because even if we want to, we can't focus on it, or stand there absorbed in it ad infinitum until the house falls down around us (and we may still have trouble noticing). This is understood, Understanding all this, here is the list of Annabel's behaviors that could be interpreted as symptoms.

Hyperactivity

One thing that not everyone knows is that hyperactivity is not about running around like an uncontrolled animal. It can manifest itself in many ways, and there are many types: physical, mental, and even emotional.

In Annabel's case, she seems to be the first two types.

Perhaps due to her difficulty in expressing emotions, it is quite obvious at this point in the comic that her moods are made explicit through gestures: playing with her rings when she is happy or nervous, touching the ribbon around her neck in moments of anxiety, or playing with her hair almost as a default state.

Annabel.

Doesn't.

Sit.

Still.

Never.

It is also clear that Annabel is always planning something. Always.

This can be read into the logic of mental hyperactivity: when you have it, your brain just doesn't stop. Ever. And that's something that resonates with this lady.

Emotional Dysregulation

The part of the brain that regulates our moods works…erratically. Not to say it doesn't work at all.

This leads to a painfully common problem in women with ADHD: lack of emotional regulation is seen as drama, and instead of being taught tools to deal with it, we are taught to repress and bottle up emotions.

Annabel has highly internalized this as a defense mechanism. But here's the thing: if repressing emotions instead of learning how to deal with them in a healthy way is harmful, being biologically unable to regulate them can be even worse.

It touches the right nerves, and if you catch us flying low, it can cause explosive outbursts.

Possibly violent reactions to feeling offended or uncomfortable.

Or completely over-the-top reactions that we can't control.

And it's not just anger that's affected, it's the whole emotional spectrum. Another emotion that is very noticeable is fear. If we don't develop tools to help us calm down, we don't get scared, we panic.

If this happens too often, we can become prone to developing severe anxiety or frequent attacks.

We may also have great difficulty dealing with frustration. Our brains love rewards, and feeling that we're not getting them because of our own inability to do something can be downright annoying. And if we don't have the tools to express our frustration appropriately, we can have quite childish reactions, ranging from temper tantrums to…pouting.

I find it funny how several of these pouts are caused by Lenore, a bit like "Oh, come on, honey, what are we talking about?"

Another important thing to note here is that one of the most fucked up and notorious symptoms of this lack of emotional regulation is RSD, short for Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, defined as "a problem that interferes with your ability to regulate your emotional responses to feelings of failure and rejection. While rejection is almost always unpleasant, people with RSD experience overwhelming levels of emotional pain. This can lead to long-term mental health problems, fear of failure, and behavioral changes that negatively affect them throughout their lives."

Rejection and fear of failure are a problem for us. So much so that we may seek strategies to avoid it as much as possible, even when it causes us problems (such as not completing a task for fear of doing it wrong). This is an issue that can tear us apart emotionally.

Annabel is terrified of being rejected or despised. Her whole life has been built around appearances and getting the right people interested in her. If she can't do that, what good is she?

And that's something that comes up a lot in her relationship with Lenore. Repeatedly, in fact, but my favorite has to be this one:

Annabel thought it would be the smart thing to do to break that bond because she knows they're never going to see each other again. But the look on her face when Lenore calls her a "damn liar" is just painful to watch. I think ripping her heart out with a rusty spoon would have hurt less.

Finally, on the subject of things that aren't so funny: that thing Annabel does about biting her fingers when she's in a critical situation is something I used to do, too (only I'd bite my knuckles or palms).

My psychologist explained to me that when you feel like you're losing control, you immediately look for something to ground you, and unfortunately, physical pain is often a quick (if damaging) way to do that.

Codependency

Okay, here's a thing: it's not that we have a tendency as such to codependency, but this is a situation that can occur due to bad practices within a relationship. Especially a couple one.

As it stands out, people with ADHD can have a lot of problems with micromanaging ourselves, remembering things, dealing with our emotions, etc, etc, etc. And it is natural for close friends, family or our partner to help in those processes.

The problem arises when that help starts to become a parentification process where the partner who is providing support starts to do this on behalf of the other person, infantilizing them in the process.

This is a cocktail for resentment on both sides: the party calling the shots can easily feel that the other is putting a huge burden on their shoulders and not trying hard enough, while, on the other side, no one likes to feel like they are being treated like a child. Let alone that the person doing it is your partner.

But at the other end of resentment, there's codependency.

The constant feeling that you are a burden, insufficient or even disposable.

And that means you have a lot to make up for. On a regular basis. So much that you put yourself in a situation where you have to make horrible decisions so that someone else doesn't have to because somehow you owe it to them, who hasn't had that happen?

What I mean is that yes, Annabel feels like she owes this to Lenore because she only remembers the part where Lenore came kicking in doors to save her from a marriage she didn't want. And if she can't do this for her, she doesn't deserve a relationship.

Feeling inadequate, that your partner is doing you some kind of favor by tolerating you and ending up idealizing their in the process is obviously not unique to the neurodivergent experience.

But we try, we try really hard and, like anyone else, we like to feel that the effort we put in is seen and valued.

If we are not careful about that, we do indeed fall into the risk of becoming codependent. The desire to feel loved or valued becomes a constant hunger for validation from which it is difficult to escape because we are aware that our brain will never function in a different way. And if that is mixed with RSD, it can become an even bigger problem.

Novelty, games, challenges, and rewards

Producing dopamine on a normal basis is one thing our brains aren't very good at (one of the reasons we can be prone to depression, for example), but you know what they love? Challenges and rewards.

New things feed our endless curiosity, but for some reason unknown to me, our brains really love challenges and dares. They give us dopamine like we're on a high.

So much so that some people use it as a tactic to perform tasks they don't like: "How many dishes can I wash before my dinner is ready?", "If I can finish this in less than 30 minutes, I can go get chocolate."

One medium we may like very much for this reason is games. Board games, card games, or virtual games. It doesn't matter. Games provide a very good balance of challenge and reward.

If you see that Annabel seems overly interested in how this works, it's because there may be a part of her that thinks "aside from the deadly situation we're in…this is like the most hardcore escape room ever" and inevitably there's something here that stirs her bug.

It may be something she loves about Lenore. As a good hypocrite, Annabel despises the rules she knows so well, so when Lenore comes along with this gimmick and completely changes the paradigm of what she knows, there is inevitably something that appeals to her. Others who are good at the game look down on Lenore's disdain for the rules, to Annabel it is fucking appealing because it offers a range of unexplored possibilities that she fucking loves.

Erratic Communication

When our brains are running at full speed, communication can become a challenge, and we tend to exhibit erratic patterns.

One of these is info-dumping. Touch a topic we know about or are interested in and it's like stepping on a landmine: we explode talking about it. Non-stop. You'll have to hit us to shut us up.

Another thing is that we can have a bad habit of interrupting. A lot. It's not malicious, it's just that we're really into the conversation and want to participate as much as possible.

That said, even if we're extroverts, it can be a nightmare to withhold information or participate in a conversation if it doesn't grab our attention. It's not that we want to be disrespectful or anything, it's just that, again, we have no control over our ability to pay attention and we're swimming against the tide to hold on to whatever it is you're telling us.

This scene is something I've seen in friends with ADHD and have been told I do: stare at people while doing your best to do the hamster run to remember what they're telling you because you know it's important, even though your brain is putting it together with junk information because it's not engaging your attention in the right way.

Ignore the murderous stare part, it's not that common - at least I hope not.

Drinks that are like a pill

Our brains are not designed to produce certain hormones naturally or, in some cases, they produce them under other circumstances. For things like that, we can take pills, develop strategies to help our brains produce hormones.

And drink coffee. Lots of coffee.

Caffeine can be extremely relaxing for us because it can actually help our brains keep functioning, you know that stereotype of the highly coded ADHD character who drinks coffee like it's his life? Well, that's because.

You know what other beverage has a similar effect? Tea. Theine is also a natural activator, perhaps less aggressive than coffee, but it can have a similar effect.

If you're interested in describing this topic in fanfic or touching on it in fanart, tea should have a relaxing effect on Annabel and even help her concentrate.

Boredom

We get bored. A lot. And we get painfully bored. Here's what happens: boredom is caused by a lack of stimulation, and our brains aren't stimulated just because we can't regulate our attention to seek out that stimulation.

Add to that the fact that when we are bored, without dopamine hitting our receptors, our executive functions diminish and we function like shit.

Boredom

Fucking

Murder

Because our brain starts desperately asking for dopamine and we can fall into really unhealthy behaviors like fighting, being chronically online, or eating because we can't find anything better to do. This also contributes -again- to our depression or anxiety.

Conclusions (and if I don't make the joke, I'll die)

In the book ADHD After Dark (a study of ADHD, relationships, and physical intimacy), Ari Tuckman draws some interesting conclusions, one of which is that on a statistical level, people with ADHD seem to be more likely to have what he calls "sexual eagerness": kinks, fetishes, a tendency to be adventurous in bed, and the like. Again, our brains love play, and both intimacy and flirtation can involve a lot of it.

So…

Um…

…well, I think Lenore will be happy. Good for her.

Anyway, this has been a seriously long explanation. Thanks for reading this far.

#nevermore webtoon #annabel lee nevermore #lenore nevermore #white raven #annabel lee whitlock #lenore vandernacht #annabel lee x lenore #lennabel #nevermore webcomic

196 notes · View notes