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#if there is a heaven and if it exists in the sky and if it holds everyone I have loved and everyone I miss it is certainly higher
ophelian-darling · 1 day
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𝐁𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠.
Yandere Suguru Geto x Female reader.
Summary : Blessings form in different shapes and bright in different colors; Love being the fairest and liveliest one.
TW : Obsession, minor character death, discrimination, pregnancy, manipulation.
enjoy ♡
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It is divine to think how hell would be regarded into grotesquely crimson images within the human imagination: Sufferance is too common, wounds as a thorn prick and lasts as a heart's ache, Yet consider this when we think of heaven: purity- innocence of Eden in its prime, everything that sources its beauty and continence from a glass sphere no soul ever stepped on, farthest from the nearest paradise which we -so far- know of. Every now and then, the glass sphere's page of the sky would rain glossy drops, bright in the charm of a moon's haze, kissing earth's soil ever so gently after a long fall through the dark space. The drop; a seed of everything that derives all good in this life, either blooms into flowers, little joys that are worth living for, or even people- lost angels on devil's land. 
Suguru believes he has an eye for perfection: the images of others reflect on his irises and pass, be a fragment of a forgotten dream and ghost in a corner within his anamnesis. life ought to be lived as a sort of a sweven, destined to be erased once the reaper sinks in its teeth; Not like you have much of an option as a sorcerer, you just keep fantasizing and drawing rose-colored glasses about a life you know you can't have, sighing when conjuring a dear friend's lineaments, feeling a warmth under an eyelid when a beloved's smile flickers through a faint image of cogitation. a needle of duty had sewed up every passage to his heart; there was no horizon to look up to, except that one of exorcising curses to no end, saving that little part of happiness that was rightfully his to others who already had a fair share of it.
Suguru would burn the candles of thought and wander around a series of scenarios: what would it be like to love? What color is romance and what taste are kisses? There must be a reason why the moon was put on a pedestal of artistry, or a color of blood to abridge all tongues and words of ardor. There had to be a reason why someone was so eager and willing to hand their hearts on a platter to someone else, someone who was looked upon as the apple of eye. It seemed absurd: humans are merely products of vice, planted to sin and harvested to destroy, every letter and word they utter weighs nothing heavier than a lie, So why would such a morbid creature empty the jar of heart on another morbid creature? It is a wounding, shameless lie.
Cease to feel and halt to sense, there was no meaning in draining the amphora of emotion on someone, a one who can't taste curses to know how much of a grace it's devouring. it's pointless to break the glass of heart over a bod that ignores your agony to indulge in its little world of pink lies. He just wishes- Only if, if he slices that part of him that screamed of humanity everyday, the part that made him extend a wing to shield the helpless from their demise… He hated having a heart. 
Once during a green summer, one that had a breeze of May and the pink warmth of Valentine's day, The sphere wrapped a blessing in a curse's fabric; a gift so pristine it competed with the glimpses of eternity with a smile and tore the horizon's edge with a kiss, a form of life that its existence on this cursed land was the vilest injustice ever committed towards its chastity. The Angel; now blossoming from the sphere's seed into a human with flesh and blood, nerves and bones, eyes and a beating heart, is left to be stained and tarnished, munched and swallowed by the imperfect- the bad seeds, the swirl of everything evil. a tear of a curse could lace a sea of blessings, and you had to be protected: from the serpents, the devils, the flawed, or anyone else that wasn't him.
"Y'know, Suguru, sometimes when I look through your eyes, I can see you fighting yourself, as if you were your own worst enemy" You started the conversation like this, so casually, with no hint or intention of digging too deep into his psyche.
July, casting blazing rays and nearly melting the shadows outside, while the pair of you decided to remain in class for no obvious purpose. Suguru didn't mind having you around, aware that you weren't going to engage in tittle-tattling, leaving him with the room to think. It's been a long year. 
With a strike of sudden concern, and maybe a little suspicion, He directs his whole posture towards you, noticing your relaxed position on the seat beside his. a silence of something that was about to begin stretched before he asked "What do you mean?" 
a Winter night smile drew itself on your lips. In a movement of Bonnie Parker leaning on her motorcycle, you faced his confused comportment, rolling your eyes playfully before replying "You thought that no one would notice? That's cute. but I must admit, you're so good at hiding it, even Satoru wasn't able to see it, I'm surprised!" something brightened in your expression, contradicting the words you just said. As if you were Suguru's Anima; you spoke so confidently, insisting on extracting a part you didn't like of him.
And that confidence stirred a certain sentiment within him. something he would see as… vulnerability?
He stared. 
Another silence, silence of an absurd play, one that the audience certainly didn't need to absorb the scene. 
You continued "Amanai was a human like any other, someone with dreams and hopes, fears and triggers, and a family- and a lot of friends. she lived her life to the fullest… Well, maybe not completely, but at least she had some taste of blessing before her death. people aspire to horizons, living enough to reach it and sometimes not, savoring both sweet and bitter times before kicking the bucket. But that's not what we're talking about here" 
His eyes couldn't get any wider, the images played slowly and vividly while the cassette of that memory didn't seem to stop.
"She's a vessel that can be replaced. Lord Tengen wasn't in that need for her anyway. But are we sorcerers any better? no. we're replaceable as well, unless you are Satoru, which we aren't. Yes, we are strong, but still replaceable. The Jujutsu world needs to continue existing or else cursed spirits will blow everything to bits, and of course, we're the only ones who can keep it going and exorcise these creatures." 
Your fingers twiddled with your necklace, rolling it slowly as your tongue flowed. "I wanted to go everywhere too, I wanted to have a lot of friends to love without worrying that they'll die at any second. I wanted to wander around and behold flowers and snow without seeing an ugly cursed spirit…" 
His tongue wouldn't unwrap, au contraire to his thoughts. his mind moved as fast as forgetfulness would spell, drinking in all of your heart's tears. Perhaps, after all, he wasn't the only one who awakened to a harsh knowledge. 
You, are special.
"It's not fair… why should I be the one who gives up on their happiness to save people who know nothing of my sacrifices…" 
"I-.." your rant comes to a halt, a veil of guilt slides down your expression. 
"Sorry… I didn't mean to remind you of… back then, I talked too mu-" 
"No." He interrupts, his usual resting face painted over. 
"You can continue, I understand you…" Suguru smiles.
Ever since the curtain on your heart was pulled, you seemed to confide in him more; drifting away from Satoru and Shoko slowly and subtly. He didn't want to think of it, yet these pages of poems and lines of serenades whispered something to him everytime he looked through you. She must be unhappy too, Unhappy people are sensitive to the unhappiness of others¹. and to confess, it balmed a little comfort on his soul to see that misery brought you together. Day by day, both of you would speak for hours, crafting an imaginary horizon where everything was a haven for a winsome world, goodwills falling like spring rain. Night by night, He who becomes the one to count the nights, scripting his nightdreams and rehearsing his hopes to a shadow of you that lingered in the corners, only for every word to blend into space once the daybreak spills through the clouds. 
Your voice; it is the voice of his mind now. The shadow of you is melodizing his thoughts and troubles of the heart, lulling his reveries and caroling his visions. The pages of romance flip like petals in the wind: as the silk of your vocal cords tailors the letters with red and pink, he is finally allowed to relish the true colors of so-called love. Yozo² is no longer fool in Suguru's thinking, for wanting to die alongside the one he loved, which Suguru Geto himself now, secretly, hopes to achieve with you.
"Have you ever thought about death?" Green-colored smile, surely wasn't grayed by anything. Suguru just thought, what did you think? Did you want to be with him no matter the place? 
The roles have been reversed. now you're the silent one; you were sure that you did talk too much that day, pouring your wounds into him that now they're his wounds. Guilt stinged your heart, only if you remained silent back then. 
"Um- yes, I'm already accepting it, we're sorcerers after all…" you struggled to compose a thought he'd like, it came out as what a child attempting wisdom would say. speaking to your friend has become a difficult task lately, you didn't want to lose the thread of thinking you shared together, and he seemed quite pleased to talk to you. 
He chuckled. 
"Never thought of making it better for yourself at least?" 
What…
"I used to think so too. But slowly, I'm finally able to see what I was too blinded to see. Remember when you said that you wanted to have a lot of friends and go everywhere? that's rightful of you to ask- but you can't get it whether you plead for it or not. I'm telling you; I know it very well when I say you can have everything you want if you step up and take control." stated he.
As if looking for any other person who seems to notice that there's something odd, you glanced around. nothing was in sight except the trees and grass of the long forest line. 
His face didn't move when he continued "You see, we forgot that we were stronger, smarter and more skilled than the ordinary, say evolution theory: creatures go through a long process of development to become advanced in brain and muscle. some reach the highest stage of development and become a human, while others simply stop in the middle or never start, thus remaining monkeys" 
For some reason, you imagined yourself operating on his brain: cleaving the front of his skull with a sharp scalpel, lifting up his scalp in a way a box of chocolates would be opened, unwrapping and milling his brain convolutions, looking through his memory and mind's eye to see when and where these ideas have crossed his mind so you can uproot them- it is your fault, you filled him with so much tangles for a sweetly simple soul as him.
"...And since monkeys can't survive on their own, we were the ones who would acquire and use their talents to establish Jujutsu and save them, doing it out of kindness and altruism, they give us curses and we cure them in response, continually and with no recognition of our merit…"  
Something in his eyes twitched; he sounded as if he was letting go of an ancient burden, the Messiah's cross thrown off by his back.
"... You, me, Satoru or anyone who uses Jujutsu is the purest form of life on this earth, we're destined to rule as much as we were to protect, to punish as we were to love. we sorcerers are chosen by the heavens…" 
"...Monkeys must die." the corners of his mouth were altered to a frantic excitement, seeming like he'd seen after years of being dim sighted.
It is a blessing to be ignorant. 
It started out subtly. Suguru would continue smiling- the line and twist on his face metamorphosed into one you have no knowledge of: it was strange, uncannily simple and eerily sweet, more of looking at a portrait of a goner and less of seeing a friend. His compassion faded, a mock-lively kindness replaced it, by the nature a moonlight would mimic a sunray's warmth. it is not change, nor epiphany; your friend was dying with no hearse set or heart settled- Suguru slept to no awakening so the priest in Gojo-gesa can breathe to every aspect of life. 
Eyes that used to behold the blessings in everything are now glaring with violence, gnashing its teeth to whoever and whatever didn't wield any cursed energy. it is visible for you to only see, all of the ink and blood jarred behind his eyes, masked perfectly and contained in a patient smile he wore to his subjects— our subjects darling! he would say, giving you a saddened look, as if his gift of a thousand obedient monkey wasn't enough to thrill you as much as it did to him.
“You know how much I love you, right?” he murmured, holding your hand. your eyes pierced the reflection on the vanity glass: a husband and a wife sharing an intimate moment, scenery of a devoted Genji holding a torn Fujitsubo³ and kissing away all of her distress. you switched your sight towards his hand, the one that stroked yours, the one that had on its ring finger a silver band twirled.
“And I'm willing to offer you everything I have, anything you want” He placed a kiss on the crown of your head, billing and cooing in his words “I just ask for a little smile in return, or a little ‘thank you’ for everything I do to us”
“You're taking advantage of innocent people, Suguru”
He scoffs “Are they really that innocent?! All they do is cause destruction and corruption. you're too kind to even call them people” the last word dropped like a glob of mercury, heavy and tarnishing. he's annoyed for sure that you ruined the romantic mood by mentioning monkeys yet again. 
“You're murdering people who came to you for help, Suguru…”
You saw it without looking at it, the flash of rage and loathing, with all its redness and heat a fire had less or more of. you hoped in despair ,maybe there's still the lingering blush of compassion in his heart; the comity of your dear friend Suguru, not the hatred of your husband the monk. His fist flew in front of your face, grabbing your chin and rotating your skull to his penetrating eyes. for a second, a thread was pulled in your chest, cutting your heart with a feeling of fear, was he about to strike you?
“I told you thousands of times… those you cry for so much are. not. people. Do you understand me?!” He pressed on each word, heavy breath fanning your face. you could only look back and try not to recoil under his gaze.
“They ruin our lives, they kill us, they cause suffering and they taint this earth with their filthy emotions… if it wasn't me who gets rid of them and cleans their trash, only heaven knew how much time left for us to live…” he digs his nails into your flesh, gritting his teeth at you “They made you unhappy, they tried to kill me while I was risking my life to save them everyday!” he raised his hands in the air, snarling with full volume. you're sure that Nanako and Mimiko are in another room hearing, and utterly aware of their agreement and devotion to Suguru. 
Frantically, he unwrapped his Gojo-gesa and threw it on the floor, shooting you a glare while he freed himself from the sleeves of his haori. his stare kept lining yours, and when he stripped from the white hada-juban, you've seen it, as if at first sight.
“Shouldn't a wife support her husband?! Why do I feel like everything else except for me matters to you?!” He yelled. it is not the first time you see the scar on his chest, in fact, you've seen it too many times that its lines were as familiar as the dimness of your eyelids. 
“Whom am I doing this all for?! for us! for our family! they're just like us, they've been belittled and cursed by monkeys and they had their happiness snatched brutally from their hands… all just because they were sorcerers” he calmed, yet not eased judging by how sharp his expression was. He dropped his arms to his side, reaching to cup your face and force you to see his eyes “You were hurt too… you begged me to save you years ago… you do remember the day we sat together in class and talked”
You do remember. 
The echo of that hour reverberated through his eyes. in their dark shade, you watched a reflection of yourself, helpless and gray, sew the first threads of his insanity. you wished if life had been a little more cruel and tore off your tongue before you ever got the chance to speak with him.
It's you who chiseled the priest.
He feathered a finger across your cheek, crooning honey “And you remember our dates too, all the kisses and embraces, our wedding and our nights together…” serene as a sea in spring, animating the past into a sweet lull. his eyes smiled to you, cording your heart when continuing “You love me, you love our family, our paradise— and him” His palm spidered to your stomach, stroking the node of flesh “You would never abandon him, would you?”
Can you even? He sojourned far in, tethered to you through a wall of flesh with a string stretching inside of him. the memory of his existence would carve lines in both of your bodies even after his birth.
“You're so selfless, that's why I fell for you darling” whispered he, drinking your silence in taste of obedience. Was there any release from the cuffs you wrapped around your own wrists? Suguru wasn't an imprisoner, he just smelted a bracelet you wished to wear, eager to please and in hunger for your praise, while you, in words and smiles, altered his brain to see in dark color.
“Why don't you say you love me?”  he coated demand with love, pouring foam on your ears in a whisper.
Your skin felt light underneath, like you could walk out of it as a coat. In times like these, when he gave affection and demanded it back, you could only say one thing, unlike a full colored prism of flirtation he can murmur to you.
“I love you so much, Suguru…” at first, saying it was like uprooting a rotting tooth, but as time passed and your tongue knew the taste of lying, it became like picking a fruit.
He smiled “Good girl…” 
His eyes glinted in red “...I love you too…”
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nekohime19 · 2 days
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Mini Mac #2 : How to lure the feral lil guy living in your walls a guide by Sun Wukong
Damn, I need to study for my exams but mini Mac is in my head, 😔
Sun Wukong has always been quite the odd ball. He was the type of person to follow his own rules, and sometimes expected people to understand those rules without truly revealing them in the first place. Azure Lion has often been troubled by the lil monkey nature. He was a merry lad one day, laughing at anything coming his way without truly minding them, and he was short-tempered another, fighting anyone daring enough to call him small (everyone in the brotherhood learned at their own risks what would happen if they ever mentioned their merry monkey size). It wasn't weird for the golden monkey to be doing something incomprehensible for the others, he spent the last week fighting with every inch of his life against a common pest for heaven sake, but he seemed particularly weird tonight.
Now, Sun Wukong was a lot of things but he was never quiet. No matter in which mood the brotherhood finds their littlest brother, he would always be loud about it. If he was in a foul mood he would complain about it until everyone's ears started bleeding (last week had been particularly hellish). If he was feeling joyous, he would shout praise and raise his glass of wine (the ones sitting around him knew to scout away everytime he was rowdy, drops of wine always flew beside him). He was an expressive lad, unable to keep his feelings for himself, perhaps because his emotions were too big for him alone.
As such it was quite surprising to see him so meek tonight. He was quietly staring at the night sky, absently swaying his glass of wine, head in his left hand, sighing now and then. Azure Lion shared a glance with Yellow Tusk, the elephant looked lost as well despite usually being the one able to discern their rowdy monkey’s feelings. Bull King seemed quite shocked himself, and perhaps a bit disappointed, Azure knew their biggest brother, contrary to many others, enjoyed when Sun Wukong was in a fighting spirit. Peng looked ready to spill what was in everyone's mind, as they usually did when no one dared to confront the Monkey King. Azure decided to intervene before they could, this seemed to be a delicate matter, not something someone as direct (for lack of a better word) as Peng could handle.
“Brother, is everything alright? Did you defeat the pest hiding in your home?” Asked Azure, hoping the mention of the pest would ignite the sage fighting spirit. However, contrary to what he thought, Sun Wukong slumped in defeat, letting his head fall against the table. The brotherhood shared a common worried glance when they heard Sun Wukong whine. It wasn't unusual for the sage to whine, but he never whined that way, so small and defeated. Azure worried for a second that the King may cry, something unheard and unseen till now.
“He's gone!” Whined the sage, almost as if he was some grieving maiden talking about her long lost husband.
“The pest?” Tried to clarify Azure, Bull King leaned over Peng and mumbled :
“Isn't this a good thing?”
“Don't ask me. I don't know what this madman is talking about half of the time.” Quietly scoffed the bird.
“You don't understand! It's been two days and I haven't caught a sign of him!” Wailed the golden monkey, he narrowed his gaze at his glass, as if it personally offended him for simply existing, and downed it.
“So you chased away the pest, and now you're sad about it?” Asked Azure with a raised eyebrow, this was getting weirder than usual, even for Sun Wukong.
“I don't know what to do to make him come back…” Mumbled the sage, cheeks flushed by the wine.
“Well…usually they like food. You said they stole some of your peaches, maybe try to lure them with that.” Proposed Yellow Task, trying to soothe the Monkey rather than understand the ways of his mind.
“That's right!” Laughed the golden monkey, he rose, so suddenly that his knee hit the table and spilled some of the wine. “Why didn't I think of food!!” Sun Wukong smiled at them and ran away with a skip in his step, almost tripping on some roots along the way.
“Well, at least we helped him.” Sighed Azure as he downed his own glass.
“One day he hates the pest, another he wants it back. Tomorrow he's gonna tell us he fell in love with it or something.” Snorted Peng with crossed arms, they all laughed at the absurdity of their comment, because surely Sun Wukong wasn't this insane.
Was he ?
***
Sun Wukong had never been the type to dwell on something, he usually forgot what bothered him after a few days. Yet he couldn't forget the face of the lil macaque even if he wanted to. It's been two days since he used the magical device his brothers gave him, two days since he discovered that a lil monkey lived in the walls of his mansion, two days since he was haunted by the face of the lil guy.
Sun Wukong searched everywhere in his mansion, he discovered a fancy new room almost each hour, but no trace of the gorgeous lil guy. He almost gave up when he noticed no peaches were stolen since the day he discovered the macaque's existence. Maybe the lil guy was afraid of him? He tried to appear less threatening and cooed at the holes in his walls with what he hoped was a reassuring voice (a few of his lil suns watched him with tilted heads and tried to imitate him but he shooed them away, not wanting to overwhelm the lil guy in his walls) but the macaque didn't even show the tip of his snout.
Yellow Tusk advice revived his vigor, an offering was a sign of good-will wasn't it ? Maybe he should let the lil guy take a step in his direction instead of ransacking his own house in the hope of getting at least one sight of him. The sage took one of his freshest peaches and cut it into tiny pieces with the tip of his claws, he then put the pieces in a large leaf and laid it in the middle of the living room. Sun Wukong hid behind his couch (or at least the wooden bench veiled by pillows he called a couch) and peeked over it, towards the leaf.
He stayed there for a good while, perfectly still, except for his wagging tail. This time he didn’t fall asleep, not wanting to miss anything. Something finally moved at dawn, a shadow slipping in the dark, almost unnoticeable in the house obscurity. Sun Wukong watched, entranced, as the lil guy's head got out of the leaf’s shadow. He narrowed his eyes at the pieces, sniffing the air suspiciously. The sage silenced the coos tickling his lips and looked quietly. The macaque left the shadow, the dawn's luster gliding on his fur. He carefully walked towards the leaf and leaned towards the peach pieces, he took one in his lil hands (the pieces the size of his palm) and brought it to his snout. He bit it after assuring everything was alright and sat before the leaf, munching on his piece with a swaying tail.
Sun Wukong thought this was the most adorable thing he ever saw, he accidently let a quiet purr stumble out of his lips. The macaque straightened, ears erect, the piece clutched in his arms, as if he was afraid someone would take it away.
“It's alright!” Shouted the King, he jumped on his feet and tried to appear as non-threatening as possible. “I just want to be friends.”
The lil macaque stopped hissing for a few seconds, his eyes went towards the peach pieces then towards the sage in a silent question.
“Yeah! It's for you!” Beamed the King, overjoyed he was making some progress with his roommate. Sun Wukong tried to take a step closer but the lil macaque immediately hissed, crouching on all-four. Panicking, the sage took a step back and the lil guy calmed down. “Okay, boundaries, got it.”
Sun Wukong silently watched as the lil guy ate some peach pieces, and stuffed others in his makeshift sling. He couldn't help but wonder how the other voice would sound, what his name was, if he even had one. Unable to keep his thoughts for himself, Sun Wukong opened his mouth and began to ramble.
“My name's Sun Wukong by the way. But I'm sure you already know it, I'm the Monkey King! You have a name?”
The macaque turned towards him and eyed him up and down, as if accessing whether he posed any threats or not.
“Macaque.” was the only thing the lil guy deigned to say, however it was enough for the sage to beam with unadulterated joy. His voice was nice, a bit squeaky, perhaps because of the size difference, but nice nevertheless.
“Macaque, that's your name?” Excitedly asked the King, voice rising with his excitement.
“You're loud.” Groaned Macaque, his lil ears folded on themselves.
“O-oh right, sorry.” Sheepishly apologized the King, one hand rubbing his neck. Macaque eyed him for a bit before muttering about “weird giant” and dipping in a flurry of shadows, disappearing from the room. “I guess I'll see you later.” Mumbled the sage in slight disappointment.
At least he had a name now! He told himself as he enjoyed how the name sounded on his lips.
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firstfullmoon · 6 months
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Hanif Abdurraqib’s contribution to Sad Happens, an anthology exploring sadness & tears, edited by Brandon Stosuy
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amuhav · 7 months
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Ceremony.
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meirimerens · 7 months
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you know i must have been bone-tired when this part of the herb brides lore didn't come to my mind when i discussed how the Kin fundamentally differs from the cultures it is inspired by um There Is The Human Sacrifice part. like it's an important part of pathologic 2 that you are doing human, or anthropomorphic (if you want to see the Herb Brides as closer to spirits, which comes with its own set of problematics regarding how to approach their oppression) sacrifice. it's an important part of pathologic 2 that you kill a woman, as part of the journey and in direct resonance with you ritualistically killing cattle earlier, and she offers herself to you with cultural and religious significance.
human sacrifices have been done across the globe for millennia, but i cannot, for the life of me, find any source at all that mentions the Buryats (since that was the discussion point) partaking in human sacrifices by the turn of the 19th-early 20th century (or even anything past the 16th). every single source mentioning offerings and sacrifices i've read mentions animals, things such as milk and vodka, and often both at once. would love to read anything about these rituals if papers exist, but i'm personally drawing a blank.
the Kin has Obvious and very Visible influences but it also differs from specific (in this discussion's case, the Buryats) or wider (here, turkic/mongolic as a whole) cultures from the area by so many pieces, big and small, that i wouldn't have enough appendages on my whole body to count them all. and sister. i have plenty of appendages.
#i AM reading a paper that mentions the human sacrifices at Mongol burials where people (typically servants or family) would be sacrificed#to accompany the dead; as well as the Shor practice of sacrificing women/girls (replaced apparently quickly by sacrificing ducks)#but those seem pretty old [the Mongol part mentions the 13th century] & like. nothing about the buryats in that time period#i'm like 85% sure i saw in the beginning of being into patho someone saying how equating the Kin; who practice human sacrifices [& others]#to correlate/be meant to represent Real Life ethnicities is insulting because They Don't Do That.#and like. everythingggg that touches upon representation/appreciation/appropriation/theft is subjective and#informed my how much leeway you're willing to give the creators so that's like#bro i'm just reading PDFs#also just found out the discussion of ''The Kin Is Obviously Inspired But Not Meant To Represent [x]'' is over 2yrs old. we're still at it.#as anon said. ''unless you're tolkien; coming up with a whole fictional language is hard''.#anyways appendage time. stuff that differs just out of the top of my head:#everything relating to the religion which is almost a complete inverse of buryat tengrist/shamanic faith + don't get me started on buddhism#the clothes. the homes. the creation myths; beyond the apparition of Clay; which is present in so many cultures on earth#no swan ancestor. no lake worship. no sky/heavens. no tens of named hierarchical deities. NO BURBOT! no hats. no hats (burts into tears)#NO HORSES? ON THE EURASIAN STEPPE?#the belief that earth mustn't be cut is so buryat. i'm sure i've read it. no idea if it is also in other mongolic peoples but buryat it is.#also a bull-ancestor/bull totem. that exists in buryat tribes; but they also have a bunchhhhh of other sacred animals (including. swans.#also horses. there's this [charm?] made out of horse hair there is)#neigh (blabbers)#i'm realizin how crazy i sound repeating shit that has been said 2yrs ago but like someone already mentioned the human sacrifice.#someone already mentioned the clothes. someone already mentioned the yurts/gers. someone already mentioned the religion#like i'm just. repeating stuff. and yet. give it up for year 2
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whimsyprinx · 1 year
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do y’all think stars are happy
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sometimes the human condition just hits me like a sack of bricks
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aregebidan · 2 months
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the euphoria of reading good reviews of mirrored heavens on netgalley vs. the acute distress of having to put up with fevered star slander on each and every one of them
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absolutelydedinside · 3 months
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I LOVE YOU DOTTORE I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU SO MUCB IT HURTYS I LOVE UUUUUUUUU
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YIPE!!!!! M i loev yiu !!! :D my husban
You are my everythinf i lobe u !!! when it is dark out u are my light and u make me so happy!!!!!! everday i am happy bevausw of u!!!
yay!!!! WHEN I DO NOT HAVE U I AM SAD AND LONELY AND I AM SAD..... I AM VERY SAD WITHOUT YOU. I am upset. but it is ok BECAUSE u are always with me!!!!!! Yay!!!!!! :D everywhere I go I see u.... 💕💕💕💕💕😊😊😭😊💕💕 ai love u dotore u are my life and u live you
(sorry accienrly did the bullet point too lazy to fix it lol)
I LOVE U SO MUCH DOTTORE YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING IN LIFE WHENEVER IM FEELING DOWN I LOOK AT YOU AND MY FROEN TURNS UPSIDE DOWN!!! :D
I Love you so much you.makr me so happy Dottore i love you
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*kisses dottore and blushies* :3 I LOVE YOU!!!!
dottore: *kisses me back* Affectionate today are we?
me: ya!!! YIPPE!!!!!
i lovr him. thatb was just a peak jnto our bewutiful marriage because we are so happy together i even have a ring that he made me <3 it shoot laser its pretty cool
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i look uo at dottor with big eyes and i ask for kiss!!! and he give me kiss !!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!
i literlay lovr dottoreso much im ill i love him so much I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM
I wish he eas real!!!!!! IF GOD EXISTS I DEMAND HE BESTOW ME MY SILLY. RIGHT NOW!!! I dont think he would want to see mr when im mad. Lets just say... i can be pretty scary when i reveal my true form😈
I will find a way to make him real. I will.
I WILL TEAR THROUGH THE CLOUDS IN THE SKY AND BEND THOSE PEARLY GATES OPEN LIKE IM A PITBULL. I WILL MAKE MY WAY THROUGH THAT GOLDEN AND HOLY CITY TO DESTROY THAT THROWN AND GET MY BLORBO. I WILL FIND A WAY. AND IF IT IS NOT GOD WHO FORSAKES ME. I WILL FIND THAT TWINKASS DEVIL AND FORCE HIM TO RELEASE MY MAN FROM WHATEVER CIRCLE HE IS LOCKED IN. I WILL CRAWL THROUGH EACH LAYER UNTIL I REACH HIS. I WILL GO THROUGH A MILLION INFERNOS FOR DOTTORE. A MILLION YEARS IS NOTHING IN THE PURSUIT OF MY ONE TRUE LOVE.
nothing can hold me back my love is stronger than that of the heavens and the hells
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i love you dottroe !!! i love every single you!!!! you are my beautiful husband and I love you!! you are so smart and amazing and you are so aweaome!!! even thiugh other throw rocks at you I will shield u 💕😊😊😊😊💕💕🥰I will bear the pain of the stones for you my loev 😍😍😍😍🥰😍🥰😍😍🥰😍🥰😍🥰😍 bcuz I lov3 u!!!! You are my everything!!!!!! i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I want to grab that waist of yours and swing you around... I'll show everone ehy nobody messes with my kitten. I dont play around. I protect those I love. Dottore i love you!!!!!
i love you so mych u love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love yoi i l9g3 uou i love yeoue eioe eloeve uoeie ie leoev eyoi ieleieke ekoev eui e leove you I lobe you SO MUCH I LORV YOU SO MUCH IT WILL NEVRR FIT A WORD LIMIT NO MATTER HOW BIG!!!! MY LOVE ONLY GROWS EVERY DAY. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DOTTORE. YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING IN LIFE.
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yippe!!!!!!!!! chicke abbudibcjodoonsoninxubbucjiwijind I love dotore we are so halpy and i like chicke!!!! we have 363 chickens and we are so happy tohether!!!! i live u dottore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dottore: I love you too Absol
me: *blushes and then we make out*
Yippe!!!!!!!!! :D I love dottore so much!!!!! Yippe!!!
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I look at him like this with so much love and happiness in my eyes... I love u dottoreee....I will never stop loving you!!!!!!!!!! i will repeat it to the skies however many times I need to get my wish to come true. I love you dottore!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DOTTORE!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!
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navybrat817 · 5 months
Note
I wish I had a smitten Bucky. Just sees me and wants me. 🥺
I know the feeling, nonnie.
Check Yes or No
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Summary: Bucky instantly falls for you, but waits to ask you out.
Word Count: Over 2.1k
Warnings: Fluff, could be seen as instalove on Bucky's side, attraction, slight insecurities, minor time jump, Alpine being the best, slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?).
A/N: I can't send Bucky your way, lovelies, so I hope you enjoy this short, surprise fic! ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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Bucky wasn't looking for love the day he met you, but it found him anyway.
“Hey, Buck,” Steve greeted from his seat when he walked into the conference rooms and nodded to the spot beside him that you occupied. “I’d like you to meet our newest transfer. She’s also moving into the Tower.”
He was a changed man the moment your eyes met. Breathtaking was a word to describe you given how he had forgotten to breathe. He had witnessed many sunrises and sunsets in his life, a kaleidoscope of colors painted in the sky to both soothe and awaken the soul. They paled in comparison to the beauty before him.
One glance and he belonged to you completely.
“Hi, Bucky. It’s nice to meet you.”
While he wasn't sure if Heaven existed, you speaking his name was like hearing the voice of an angel.
“I’m Bucky.”
Of all the things he could've said, reiterating his name was what his mouth went with.
Instead of giving him a weird look or brushing him off when he scowled at himself, you smiled. “I look forward to us working together.”
Bucky couldn't tell you what the meeting was about that day, but he remembered the details about you. The way you leaned forward in your seat to pay extra attention when someone else spoke, also giving him an ample view of your chest before he reminded himself not to stare. The slight crease in your forehead when you jotted down an important note. And the soft giggle you let out when Steve cracked a joke.
He suddenly wished he was funnier.
“Have a good rest of the day, Bucky,” you said when the meeting ended.
Bucky didn't have to try to smile with you. It just came naturally. When you smiled back, it was easy to imagine what it would be like if you were his girl.
“You, too,” he replied, giving himself a mental victory for not screwing up his words this time. “Wait!”
You paused and looked at him expectantly. “Yeah?”
Bucky realized he had no reason to keep you from leaving. He just didn't want you to go. “Do you need help moving your stuff in?”
“I actually got my things moved in late last night, but thanks for the offer,” you replied, checking the time with wide eyes. “I'm so sorry. I have to go. I’m in 2L if you need anything!”
“Bye,” he called after you, turning in his chair to watch you go.
How did he miss you already?
Though Steve had a knowing look in his eyes, he graciously kept his mouth shut as he left the room. He reminded him an hour later that he wouldn't break any bylaws by asking you out. The punk somehow knew that you weren't seeing anyone.
Which made him happy.
While he appreciated Steve looking out for happiness, he still had to get his head on straight.
“Once I completely trust my own mind, maybe I will,” Bucky said, even though the stuff was already out of his head. He owed it to himself to take his time. And you.
Imagine his surprise when he found a note from you on his door the next day.
Hey, Bucky! Lunch on me today? Check YES or NO.
The lopsided grin on his face wouldn't go away when he read it again. You must've been interested in him enough to ask about him. How else did you know his apartment number? Why else would you ask him to lunch?
He nearly shouted “YES” in the hall before he came to his senses and simply checked the option before he returned the note to your apartment door.
When he met up with you later, he told himself it wasn't a date. It couldn't be, right? It didn't keep his heart from stopping when you answered your door. Dressed down and casual, you looked like an angel went to Earth just for him.
“Hey, Bucky,” you smiled. “Ready to go?”
He hadn't said much on the way to the cafe since he was too busy hanging on to your every word, but it was like he had known you for ages as you carried on the conversation. Your questions weren't invasive and you didn't seem to mind the occasional short answers. It was also the shortest meal of his life, over too soon for his liking, and he also refused to let you pay for his meal.
He wanted to show you that gentlemen still existed.
“Lunch again next week?” You offered.
“Sure,” he answered, his head spinning from giddiness.
But it wasn't a date.
It was time to change that.
Today was the day. Six months from the day he met you. Six months of chatting with you between missions and slowly getting to know you over weekly lunches. Six months of falling for you more and more each day and he finally worked up the courage to ask you out.
But falling was the easy part. Confessing was an entirely different story. He would either crash to the ground and hope his wounds would later heal or you’d catch him as he fell. No matter what, he wouldn't let his nerves get the better of him.
“Just like we practiced, okay?” Bucky asked.
“Meow.”
Alpine nuzzled her head against Bucky’s with a gentle purr when he huffed. She was his little partner-in-crime through and through. Like you, even though you didn't realize it, the little white ball of fur helped save him. He was fairly certain he wasn't supposed to bring her to this floor, but any reprimand would be worth it.
Besides, the Tower, office, anywhere they operated should allow them to have their pets with them, especially for emotional support.
“I'm counting on you,” he teased, placing the folded up piece of paper in her mouth. “Go.”
He peeked around the corner when he set Alpine down. The sun illuminated you from where you sat in the lounge, curled up in your normal spot on the sofa. You liked to relax there occasionally to read. He wondered what book you had with you today.
Thankfully, no one was around to disturb you.
Except for him.
“Alpine, is that you?” You asked when you looked up, closing the book as the cat approached you. While the feline was cautious of some, she warmed up to you immediately when you met and solidified that you were the one for him. “Whatcha got there? Where’s Bucky?”
His name spilling from your lips was still one of his favorite sounds.
He held his breath when Alpine jumped up beside you, opened her mouth, and dropped the paper in your lap. He immediately began to second guess himself when you unfolded it with a furrowed brow. Why did he think this was a good idea? Why didn't he just ask you like a normal guy?
To be fair, he hadn't been normal for some time.
“Will you go out with me? Check YES or NO. Love, Bucky,” you read out loud with a huge smile, which was enough to make his heart race. You giggled a moment later when Alpine bumped your hand, the soft noise making his stomach do a funny sort of flip. “Okay, okay. Let me get my pen out of my bag.”
Bucky exhaled a little as he moved to stand in the doorway. You didn't toss the paper away, so that had to be a good sign. He carefully kept himself from showing any outward emotion when you met his gaze, but his knees nearly gave out. His palms also began to sweat when you gave him a half smile.
Just when he thought you couldn't look more beautiful than you had the day before, you proved him wrong.
He ran a hand through his hair and hoped he looked halfway decent since he hadn't brushed it. But you commented a few weeks back that you liked it long when you saw an old photo, so he wanted to grow it out. He lost count of how many times he imagined your fingers in his hair
Maybe one day.
Watching you grab your pen, it was like he was drowning. The tide pulled him under as you made a mark on the sheet. His lungs burned when you handed it back to Alpine. He couldn't come up for air. He couldn't breathe.
Until you smiled again.
“Thanks, Alpine,” you said.
His cat gracefully walked back to Bucky and he swore he caught you trying not to giggle as she climbed up his leg. His heart hammered in his chest when he took the slip of paper from her mouth. Meeting your tender gaze, he couldn't bring himself to open it though.
After he told himself he wouldn't let his nerves get the better of him.
“Not going to see what my answer is?” You asked as he carried Alpine into the lounge.
“I want to,” he replied, sighing as he took a seat beside you. His cat was perfectly content to lay in his lap. “But I’m questioning if I did this the right way.”
The note you gave him for a simple lunch request may have been a small gesture in your eyes, but it meant the world to him. He thought by asking you out this way that he could give you something meaningful in return. Something that only the two of you shared.
That was all he wanted.
You turned toward him, your knee touching his. The small touch sent heat down his spine. “Open it and you’ll find out.”
He nodded, thankful that his vibranium hand didn't shake as he lifted the sheet. “Wait, let me say something before I do.”
The corner of your lip tugged as you tried not to smile. “Bucky-”
“I like you. I really like you. I have since the day we met. And I'm going to like you tomorrow. And the day after that and the day after that,” he admitted in a rush, catching your sharp inhale as he looked into your eyes. “But I know my past isn't easy to deal with. If you just want to be a teammate or colleague, that’s okay. Just. Being a part of your life in some way is more than enough.”
Alpine lifted her head and looked between the two of you, as if she was waiting with baited breath to see what would happen next.
Bucky felt a crack in his heart when you didn't speak or react, his body slumping slightly into the couch. It was okay. He took a chance and told you how he felt. He wouldn't force you to reciprocate.
“Bucky?” You asked above a whisper, reaching over to help him unfold the paper. He gasped when he saw the checkmark beside “YES”, blinking rapidly to make sure you picked that box. “I really like you, too.”
“You do?” He exhaled, grasping your hand with renewed joy. He was careful not to squeeze too hard. Hurting you was the last thing he ever wanted to do.
“Yeah. Pretty much since the day I met you,” you admitted, glancing in your lap before you met his gaze again. He saw stars in your eyes. “And your past isn't your fault, Bucky. You aren't something to ‘deal with’, okay? You’re a good man. I can give you a whole list of reasons if you need it.”
Physically, Bucky’s body was in peak condition. Your confession, however, caused all of the air to leave his lungs and made him weak in the best possible way. A familiar warmth moved through Bucky’s veins as he breathed again and it dawned on him at that moment that he hadn't felt cold since you walked into his life.
Not once.
Your faith in him gave him strength. Your mere existence gave him the courage to try. And he didn't have to go it alone.
“Wow,” he breathed, relieved and elated as he gave you a small smile. “How about tomorrow night?”
“It’s a date,” you smiled.
“Great,” he smiled back. A date. He couldn't wait to see the look on Steve's face when he told him that he finally asked you out.
“And I think the note was purrfect,” you teased at Alpine before you scrunched up your face. “I ruined the moment, didn't I?”
Bucky brought your hand to his mouth, kissing it as gently as he possibly could. He could hear your heart race. So was his. “Not at all.”
He knew it was too soon to say he loved you and it was likely too soon for you to feel that way about him, but he felt hope in your smile that you would one day.
For now, he had a date to plan all because you checked “yes”.
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We know it'll be the best date ever, right? Love and thanks for reading! 💙
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
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apoemaday · 3 months
Text
Monet Refuses the Operation
by Lisel Mueller
Doctor, you say that there are no halos around the streetlights in Paris and what I see is an aberration caused by old age, an affliction. I tell you it has taken me all my life to arrive at the vision of gas lamps as angels, to soften and blur and finally banish the edges you regret I don’t see, to learn that the line I called the horizon does not exist and sky and water, so long apart, are the same state of being. Fifty-four years before I could see Rouen cathedral is built of parallel shafts of sun, and now you want to restore my youthful errors: fixed notions of top and bottom, the illusion of three-dimensional space, wisteria separate from the bridge it covers. What can I say to convince you the Houses of Parliament dissolve night after night to become the fluid dream of the Thames? I will not return to a universe of objects that don’t know each other, as if islands were not the lost children of one great continent. The world is flux, and light becomes what it touches, becomes water, lilies on water, above and below water, becomes lilac and mauve and yellow and white and cerulean lamps, small fists passing sunlight so quickly to one another that it would take long, streaming hair inside my brush to catch it. To paint the speed of light! Our weighted shapes, these verticals, burn to mix with air and changes our bones, skin, clothes to gases. Doctor, if only you could see how heaven pulls earth into its arms and how infinitely the heart expands to claim this world, blue vapor without end.
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hellisharchive · 3 months
Text
The Most Divine
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Summary
▬ Drabbles of how Lucifer and Adam would fight over gender neutral reader!
・━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━・
・C/TW! ▬ 18+, NSFW
・NOTES! ▬ Literally did not mean to this post now but whatever hope you enjoy it. It's also 3 am yay
・━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━・
♡...... LUCIFER would take notice of you immediately in the Hotel, from your voice to your body to your eyes, you were beautiful in every sense of the word. He treated you like royalty, like you were the best thing he could have found ever in all his billions of years of existence. He never made any moves on you though, the mental scars from Lillith leaving him still fresh in his mind and heart. You two were both really good friends though and he wouldn't trade that for the world.
♡...... ADAM would take notice of you during your first year in Hell as you were out during extermination day. He hates sinners with his very being due to a certain fallen angel, but something about you enamored him. He managed to find you alone and decides to take his chance. He hit on you and he ended up throughly fucking you in exchange for being spared this year.
♡...... LUCIFER makes sure you're ok after extermination day, you tell him that you ran into Adam and that he spared you, but not the true reason why. It made Lucifer incredibly angry as he knew you were lying, but played it off as he didn't want to be too overbearing and controlling. He was just concerned for you as Adam wasn't the best guy, regardless if he spared you or not
♡...... ADAM decides to watch you from heaven, keeping it a secret from Lute as she would surely scold him and never let him live another day without her disproving self. But seeing you talk and laugh with Lucifer made his blood boil. How dare you move onto that bastard after you just got fucked by the original dick? He didn't expect his attraction to you grow this bad, but it every passing moment when he didn't have important shit do, he watched you and Lucifer be all buddy-buddy.
♡...... LUCIFER would finally confront you about Adam, feeling jealous that he would be so much better in bed than that man. He knew he would treat you right. He watched as you stared up at the sky, knowing you were missing that angel for some odd reason. You admitted it right away, the guilt eating away so badly it was hard to contain. You did miss him despite him really being a terrible person, you did miss him. He shushed you and told you it was ok and that he wasn't mad, he was just concerned if he hurt you in anyway.
♡...... ADAM would reach his breaking point when he sees Lucifer tllt your chin up and say that he would always be there for you. Always make you feel better and always make you feel loved. He couldn't take it. Watching the scene play out with a hug, you two parted ways. Watching and waiting until Heaven's mistake was alone, the first man opened up a portal to Lucifer lounging on his couch on his phone when he looked up, not surprised at the sight before him.
♡...... "Well if it isn't the first man. Been a while since Eden? How've been? Fucking my people you swore to kill every year?"
♡...... "Shut the hell up! You stole Lillith from me. You stole Eve from me. You will NOT steal them from me!"
♡...... LUCIFER stood up then, despite his shorter stature, he walked right up to Adam with a smirk. He wasn't going to back down. He wasn't scared of this asshole. Even if he was scared to let you in, he still loved you very much and didn't want you wasting your time here in Hell with this man.
♡...... ADAM simply looked down at him, letting his anger be very known to the fallen angel. The key word is fallen. He was a traitor to everything good, and Adam would show you everything good and more if you let him instead of Lucifer.
♡...... "You think they were screaming your name? Last night, we were going so hard they cummed multiple times on my face just from my tounge" It was a lie, you both never had any sex at all, but he wanted Adam to feel intimated.
♡...... "That's a fucking lie. I've been watching them and you laugh and joke but never fuck. At least I actually fucked them unlike your coward ass. How's Lillith by the way? She really seems to love being with you, prick"
♡...... LUCIFER was going to quip back as the snide about his ex-wife especially upset him, but the door opened and you walked in sleepily and asked what was going on while rubbing your eye. Every one of you froze as the situation was becoming apparent to you as you woke up. He watched as you started to panic, knowing that this situation got too out of hand. You rushed up and demanded what was going on in a half sleep state. He was too angry to fully appreciate how adorable you were like that.
♡...... ADAM didn't feel threatened by your prescence at all, in fact, this was going to work in his favor. Smirking, he sauntered up behind your smaller form and wrapped his hands around your shoulders, leaning down and asking in a soft voice if Lucifer ever fucked you. You said no and shook your head. He could tell by the fact that you were shaking that you were very anxious yet thrilled at what was happening. He knew you liked Lucifer, he was just too much of a pussy to take what he wants. It's ok though, more for him.
♡...... LUCIFER hated how Adam defaulted to sex instead of what a real relationship is and its far more than lust. It was always being there for them, helping them, ensuring they were safe and loved. Not someone who fucked them and stalked them. But the ruler of Hell would play his game. Walking closer to your caged in self, he got right up in front of your face with a certain type of smirk you've never seen him wear before. However, his attention was turned above your head to Adam as the taller angel rested his head on top of yours.
♡...... "What's big shot doing now huh?"
♡...... "How about this? We both fuck them at the same time and see which one of us they like better"
♡...... "Deal"
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sjyuns · 7 months
Text
🗒️ 、KISS IT BETTER BABY
playboy! jake x fem reader 762 words warning kissing genre fluff mikaela’s note this and intentions are literally the same because i love playboys
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“You act as if you’re obsessed with me, Jake,” you point out, eyes playfully rolling back at him, the absolute bane of your parent’s existence, your boyfriend.
The dim lighting of the empty corridor only does justice to Jake Sim as he glows, hair slicked back in his all black suit that made him look like Lucifer himself. And it’s utterly ironic, how he tempts you like a sinner then treats you like an angel.
“I am though,” he grins, not a single hint of embarrassment evident in his voice, “sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night screaming your name.” It’s a whisper, yet it’s loud as his words resonate in your chest, sending chills down your spine.
He bends down, your back plastered against the cool marble wall of the fancy hotel that you should know the name of, yet everything is fuzzy as you come face to face with Jake. His effect on you is everlasting, just like it was when you first met him.
Out of the many rules imposed on you, one was written in bold, highlighted in fluorescent, and drilled into your mind — never ever befriend or even talk to a Sim. They’re rude and manipulative, taking every single opportunity to drain you dry for their own gains.
But you couldn’t help your weak heart, especially not when a boy like Jake Sim stood in front of you, face sculpted like a Greek god as he adored you as if you were the one that was otherworldly.
And so it started — climbing through windows unethically when the sky was a stroke of midnight blue, lies and lies that you were feeling unwell just to get pulled into an empty room to meet Jake. It was bad, very wrong, yet not a single tinge of guilt could be found in you.
“Not here,” you mutter, palms placed flat against his muscular chest. “Someone might be watching.”
He groans, “whatever, baby, let them watch.” His eyes are etched on your lips, tongue darting out swiftly before he bends down once again, “wanna show you off for once.”
Your lips are smooth, falling open at the brush of his tongue, welcoming him as his ring clad fingers grasp your hips. It’s heaven on earth, and Jake wishes that he could have you by his side every second of the day, that he could have the only privilege he had ever wanted amidst all in his life — to kiss you whenever he wanted to.
Jake doesn’t know how it happened, maybe it was curiosity or just the pure fact that you were labelled as forbidden that made the thought of you more appealing, more intoxicating, more fun. And he never expected it to be anything more than a game, but here he was, confessing that you were all he could ever think about, dream about.
“Jake,” you whine, pushing him away with great effort before glancing around to see if anyone was watching. Jake thinks he might go insane just looking at you, swollen lips and pretty face as you stare at him in slight disappointment — but how could he ever control the urge to kiss his pretty girl.
“Jake?” He cocks his head to the side, lips slightly downturned as he laments, “we’re alone right now and you’re calling me Jake? You wound me.” He holds back a cocky smirk at the way your eyes dim at the sight of his facade.
“You can always kiss it better, baby.” The playful smirk that he’s unable to hold back now showcased on his face, and it’s times like this that you find yourself cursing Jake Sim and his godly charm. He’s playing with you, and it’s painfully obvious, and you can’t seem to do anything but stare with burning red ears and cheeks.
“C’mon baby, don’t be shy, I’m all yours.” You can feel his hot breath hitting your lips, fingers caressing your waist as he pulls you closer and gives you nothing but teasing glances as he waits for you to initiate the kiss.
“We’re not supposed to do this,” you murmur, yet your actions oppose your words as you close the gap between his lips and yours, pure ecstasy as he smiles into the kiss.
Again and again, as Jake Sim pressed soft kisses on your lips, under the dim lighting of the hallway, just a few metres away from your parents. But he thinks it doesn’t matter what the consequences might be, he’d be fine as long as you were there to kiss it better.
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© SJYUNS
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actual-changeling · 6 months
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Aziraphale sees Crowley standing next to his their car and he hesitates; this is his last chance, the last possible moment to change his mind about leaving.
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Do you think he feels the sunshine on his hands, against his stomach, and remembers how warm Crowley had been in his arms? How warm he had felt beneath his palms even through several layers of fabric?
How for the first time in his existence his body had felt complete, like there was no longer something— someone missing?
Do you think he sees him standing in the sun, all shining fire-red and hidden golden eyes, and regrets not sliding his hand to the back of his neck, up into his hair? Do you think he regrets not taking the chance to feel it silken soft and familiar between his fingers?
Do you think he remembers all the times they enjoyed a warm, sunny day together and the way the star seems to remember that Crowley had put its siblings into the sky? Do you think he remembers rays of sunlight caressing his cheekbones and wishes it had been his fingertips instead?
'Anything you need?' the Metatron asks him, and he is still looking at Crowley with the sun on his skin.
I need you, he thinks, and even though his eyes are hidden away, he knows Crowley is looking at him.
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Do you think Aziraphale remembers the kiss, remembers the love he could taste on his tongue, the six millennia of do that, please, kiss me, the slow, painful minute of do that again, please, right now?
(The realization that he won't.)
He almost stays. Almost. But the Metatron is already walking away, and he looks at Crowley again, looks past sunset conversations and sunrise breakfasts and the heart-shaped star in Crowley's chest, and feels his pain.
(Their pain.)
Do you think that's why he leaves anyway? Not just because heaven needs fixing but because all that pain, all the hurt they caused each other, can't have been for nothing?
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I can't leave him— no, I don't want to leave him.
No.
No, I want to go back to him.
Do you think he takes his anger and holds onto it until it burns his palm because it is easier to be angry at Crowley, at himself, than to think about everything they just took from each other? Everything they just lost?
Everything they could have been?
Aziraphale takes the memory of sunshine on his skin (Crowley's lips on his) and locks it away in a golden cage made out of faith; faith that Crowley will be there when he comes back.
Once he does (because he will, he will, he has to), there will be sunshine and warmth and Crowley, and they will finally be able to love each other with the sun and the whole universe as their witness.
No more shadows or shades of grey. Just the two of them in the light where they belong.
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celesterayel · 4 months
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midnight secrets | luke castellan
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pairing : luke castellan x nyx!reader
request: can you write about luke and a daughter of nyx? <33
IN WHICH — he knows only one true thing: you put all the stars to shame.
"now I just wanna stay here and fall into midnight. Want nobody else now, only you, feel right" - a.
w.c. 1.9k
warning(s) : soft ゜✭・.
✩ ‧₊˚ author's note can you tell when I was younger I had fallen in love with the night and the idea of it? cuz I did. very much so, I'd say. also water, always loved the concept of it--the fragility and softness of it, like a balm against my skin.
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long, long ago you learned of the sea of stars and their stories, from which rose their beginning and end. the stars were beings of heat and fire; they were beautifully mortal and alive.
they danced upon the domain of zeus; showering the sky with lights when night fell and befitting the world with their glow.
but as the sands of time bade the next and the corners of the sky dulled, the toll of living and breathing became too much. and so in the vast space of nothingness among the empty silence, the stars took on the duty of protecting a human and god: following where they might go, to every lifetime and universe as if they could erase the tragedy of the divine that swam through their blood.
and when each stars’ child died and their soul followed its ache to finally rest, the star would fall out of the sky in a blazing trail of destruction and divinity to taste freedom one last time and meet them in the next life.
there had been something raw and gruesomely alive about the stars when you learned of the story and so everyday, you’d trapeze the mortal line between night and sleep to watch them in absolution. you yearned to find an answer as to why? why would such immortal and imposing celestial beings like the stars willingly ruin themselves for us humans, for us beings that hungered for war and found pain like a symphony?
you learned your answer when you met luke castellan, your own tragic star who would follow you when the blood of the gods stopped flowing through your veins and your existence came to its calamitous end.
you had spent most of your life curiously confused as if there was something missing that made you feel broken; a piece of the puzzle that made drizzles seem like hurricanes and everything seem like an unsolvable mystery, constantly itching at your skin as if you just needed to pull back the layers and scratch.
and then, one day it stopped.
the buzzling in your head faded and you seem to finally just be.
luke castellan was the rain before the storm, the pain before the raw scream; every fatal, holy thing that meant absolution and destruction in the same manner. a price you were willing to pay if it meant loving him.
and you did–love him that is. every part of you ached with love for your golden boy who had weathered storms like they were his prison and had wanted like it was a fatal wound that might never heal.
you first met the golden castellan boy nearly a year after coming to camp where you were claimed to be a child of the night and stars, the goddess nyx; an absolution of divinity that you would be every dark, enchanting thing he would know. you were the only thing that would allow the hurt in him to finally cease its dance and just allow him to simply be.
while the blood of the gods flowed through your veins, the peace only night could bring was your cover. it was every paceless sleep spent at the docks praying to your mother for one more star to keep its dance, it was heaven and heartbreak in the same measure.
when both man and monster fell to slumber, it was the knowing that eventually everyone would cease their dance sooner or later.
people would watch you like you were a painting come to life as the moon basked you in waves of starlight and the forest came to life in your presence. when the night grew tired of its waiting and the stars lost their way, it was you coaxing them back to life to the restlessness all beings underwent.
you were a creature of presence and peaceful destruction, misfortune and desire–every loud, unsaintly thing the brown-eyed, dimpled boy had thought.
and he was your exact opposite: bold, bright and charming like the sun. it was as if hermes had threaded gold through his veins and ichor had poured forth to create whatever celestial thing luke was. a type of burn only the sun could bring when you went off to your death.
the night had settled upon the camp long ago and so nothing but the loudness of silence and pensive dreams continued its echo. except for the child of the night and her sun who seem to find balance between the bumbling and the glow of the soft moon.
luke grabbed your hand and threaded his fingers, clutching you tightly as if you’d disappear with the breeze and never return.
he guided you to the docks where the river reflected back the divinity of the night sky and lapped gentle waves against the shore. you sat side by side, silently basking in the quiet.
breaking the silence, he asked, “what’s wrong?”
what was wrong? you didn’t quiet know. there was just a sort of cloak of discomfort that had settled over you that you couldn’t seem to shake off.
“do you ever wonder what’ll happen next?”
you settled his hand in your lap and grabbed it like it was a lifeline, tethering your aching body back to the living when all you wanted was to fade. he only rubbed the back of your knuckle, soothing the skin and the bone-deep itch all at once.
you turn to gaze at him, and suddenly you were jealous of the moon and how it shined so beautifully on him like it was made for him to bask under.
he turns to look at you, “before no. now…every moment, i begin to think what makes us so different from humans that we suffer tragedy while they can live how they please and without the cruelty of the gods. I think about what will happen when i finally pass on from this life to wherever my soul may go.”
you don’t think you could handle leaving this world after him. it was a type of pain that would kill you inside out, you decided. you knew it.
there is vulnerability in him that speaks out, “and then i dream that none of that matters because someday you and i make it out of here. out of this place and away from gods and monsters.”
you only grab his other hand and the one you currently have trapped and place a kiss upon each of the palms, embedding all the affection you have for him in that moment. it is something so humanely lived that the world stops moving and the gods see a love for the ages.
he plucks you up from his side and merely places you in his lap, wrapping you tightly in arms like there is no war spreading and reaching it’s claws from the horizon toward the two of you.
you simply close your eyes, soaking in the boy who's holding you like you are a divine being.
“open your eyes and show me the stars, pretty girl.”
all he can think is the moon and stars, which you've fallen in love with so many times has nothing against you. and suddenly your staring the biggest star in the face, wondering if in another life you were the moon and he was the sun king.
but when he kisses you, you realize no. he is simply the star that will follow you when your bodies turn to ash, being picked up by the breeze. and there is only the secret that luke castellan would allow himself a thousand years of destruction if it meant following you where ever you go.
you two are simply a star and his love.
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hikarry · 4 months
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I'm not really on the team that swears to Jesus and beyond that Crowley lost his memories after the Fall. Yes, of course, he forgot some stuff because, ya know, he has been alive for more than 6000 years and if I don't remember what I ate for lunch yesterday, Satan knows he won't remember every single second of his life, but he remembers the important things
"Ah, but what about him not remembering fighting alongside FurFur or building the thingy with Saraqael?"
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Love, I give you two options:
Those are either some of the stuff he didn't consider important enough to remember OR he is just straight up fucking with them. He does remember, but why reveal it if playing dumb sometimes is good in the long run? Might be useful
Alas, I don't know, but I will die on the hill that he does remember
Which means he most probably remembers meeting Aziraphale. Not because Aziraphale was "important" at the time per se, or because it was love at first sight (because it wasnt, not for him. Bro was so focused on the nebula he didnt even introduce himself when Aziraphale did. He threw him a "Right. Nice to meet ya. Anyway, nebula time!"), but because he was there when Crowley created the nebula and, as he said, he had been waiting for that moment since "well, always". It's an important moment for him, so he remembers. Aziraphale just so happened to be present
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I don't know if that was the only interaction they had in Heaven or not (and that's not the point I'm trying to get to so I will ignore that problem for a later post, maybe), but when the now Demon Crawley was sent up to the Garden, he did remember Aziraphale. That's why he approached him
Cmon, Crowley isn't stupid. Of course he wouldn't approach an angel on the wall just willy nilly and make conversation. He didn't know Aziraphale had given away the flaming sword yet. Just approaching an angel from behind and morph into a demon next to him out of nowhere could be a death sentence. Or at least an A Line for a good smitting
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Yet, he did it. He had at least 3 other angels to choose from but he approached the angel that he remembered from back in the beginning that was kind enough to help him with the engine of the nebula. Hell! I even bet this was not the first time they saw each other in the Garden!
Bet they've seen and observed each other from afar a few times while they interacted with the humans (yes, cause I believe Crawley, before tempting Eve, tried to gain her trust. It's easier to listen to a friend than a random snake) or just around the Garden really.
That's why Aziraphale didn't get surprised when Crawley showed up at the wall, because he knew the demon snake had been around the Garden for a while. He probably even recognized him as the former Star Maker and hoped he was still a little bit of his old self so he allowed himself to engage in conversation
Anyhow, another clue? This:
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He remembers how Heaven works. He remembers he was a high ranking angel. Satan, he remembers the bloody passwords!
Do you know what else he remembers?
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Cause they didn't throw that line in there for nothing. No, gents. Cmon. Nothing is random in Good Omens
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He knows who he was. He remembers being the Star Maker that hung the stars in the sky
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He remembers why he fell, for goodness sake
And the fact that he remembers everything makes all of it so much more tragic, doesn't it? He remembers his life before the Fall, his supposed friends that dragged him into the pit with them, what Her love felt like, the "mistakes" he made that led to his Fall
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And it must have hurt. It must have hurt so much when he found himself in a pit of boiling sulfur with his wings completely burned and without Her love because he remembered it all. He must have been so bloody confused for so long
He might have regretted it. All the questions and the company he kept that made him Fall. But he doesn't anymore.
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He knows he doesn't need Heaven, he doesn't need Hell. They are toxic. All he needs is his pacific fragile existence on Earth with Aziraphale and yet...well, that's something else he won't forget now, is it?
*clears throat*
I rest my case
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