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jonphaedrus · 2 years

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some facts about my father, a perfectly ordinary human being:

got tenure in two years by getting two 2.5-million dollar grants from the government and he's now held that job for the longest time any faculty at his university has ever been tenured. literally almost longer than his entire school has existed.

he's won a fullbright...thrice.

speaks five languages (fluently: english, hebrew, russian; functionally: polish, dutch) and can get around in three others (german, japanese, and "pidgin arabic" whatever the fuck that means)

he was once locked inside the great pyramid at giza. on purpose.

one time i went to austin when he was out of town and when we got back to his house the only food in his fridge was 1) bulk family size cocktail shrimp from costco with all the shrimp eaten out of it and only the marinade left, 2) three boxes worth of frozen yoghurt bars, 3) two bags of frozen mini-wontons that expired two years earlier

has only one demand for his funeral and it's that while his casket is being lowered into the ground i make sure they play "whatever it is, i'm against it!" from the marx brothers film horse feathers

broke into (and out of) martial law poland in the early 80s and brought four hams in his back seat so he could spent six months living with his girlfriend, including a short period of time where he tried to drive from białystok to kraków in the middle of a blizzard, got lost, had no phone, no map, ran into the police, accidentally gave them his fake texas passport and almost got deported, bribed them with a ham, and then somehow ended up at his girlfriend's brother's apartment by complete happenstance and got blind drunk for a week

made friends with his assigned kgb agent in the 70s in russia

his car broke down in the middle of the sinai desert in the 70s and was saved from dying by a roaming passing band of bedouin car mechanics who took his entire car apart and put it back together and drove off without saying anything except "it works."

convinced me and one of my childhood best friends that he had found a way to time travel an hour into the future through the careful use of daylight savings, a radio station, a car clock, and the fact that he has never been on time for anything in his entire life

when he got his house renovated he decided that two attics and two cleverly hidden crawl spaces wasn't enough, so he added two more attics and another cleverly hidden crawl space, and i wish good luck to whatever poor schmuck (my cousin) has to sell his house someday.

broke his cherry-wood dining table under piles of papers...twice.

when in grad school, pretended to be a visiting russian statistics professor named "professor blowjob" (in russian) and somehow got away with this in order to teach a lecture on how s of x = f of n (sex is fun)

conned me into the belief that i had a magical color-changing guinea pig and kept this act up for literally a decade before admitting the truth

became a fellow on one of the yellow river restoration projects by making friends with an old man doing tai chi with a sword in a park in beijing. turned out that old man with a sword in a park in beijing was the head of the national environmental protection office at the time.

#ill add more as i think of them.#and post links to the full stories once i get my dad to tell me them #so i can write them down #his versions are funnier than mine #this is a stable writing tag

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arinmoss · 5 months

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Astarion :3

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swamp-teeth · 6 months

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*starts collecting them like marbles*

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hyoqa · 1 month

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— a guy asks for your number ft. hoshina, narumi, reno

warnings: mentions dick and profanities in hoshina's

#kaiju no.8 x reader #kaiju no8 x reader #kn8 x reader #hoshina soshiro x reader #hoshina x reader #ichikawa reno x reader #reno x reader #reno ichikawa x reader #narumi gen x reader #narumi x reader #i swore to myself that i would never write text fics again bc they get unbearable to look at after texting styles change #but here we are bc i read actually the funniest text fics ever just now by inmaki #i am not nearly funny enough to replicate but i tried #I APOLOGIZE FOR THE VULGARITY OF HOSHINA i do wish to believe he is quite the gentleman but i can also imagine it somehow #so get a man who can do both (COMPROMISE!)#sorry i was going to add more people i really was but i gave up #next time ill write two for each of them🤞 (not a promise bc i will break the promise)#THANK U FOR READING IF U READ THIS ILY #also this has been sitting in my drafts for AGES LIKE SOLID MONTHS NOW but now that the anime is out i think it is time to post

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danafromunderarock · 2 months

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imagine the superheroes community finding out about the clone kid and deciding to take them away from tim because clearly tim's insane and can't be trusted with a child bc he's literally a 17 year old who went wild with cloning tubes

tim's crying screaming throwing up basically because what the fuck. do not take my baby away i know i fucked up but that's literally my baby you can't just take them away

#timkon clone baby #timkon clone baby au #tim drake #timkon #red robin #dc #realistically i think tim would try to run and lay low but let's be honest there's a very small chance of them not being discovered #not if the justice league is involved #ill probably add more to this later i have Thoughts

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extravagav · 17 days

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AND WE JUST DONT TALK ABOUT THIS?!?!?!!????

#THIS IS LITERALLY LITERAAALLLYYY THE BIGGEST FORM OF CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT SUGISHITA COULD HAVE #NOT ONLY IS HE DOING WHATS BEST FOR UMEMIYA BUT HES PUTTING HIS TRUST IN SAKURA TO HELP HIM #AND OH IM SO UNWELL #HIS BODY IS PHYSICALLY REACTING TO HIM MAKING THIS DECISION IM JUST #IM SO PROUD #and then sakura acknowledging all of this too i just love them sm #they really have one of the best dynamics 😭😭😭#wind breaker #kyotaro sugishita #sakura haruka #wind breaker spoilers #wind breaker manga spoilers #ok nvm im still talking bc the second image literally gets me everytime i look at it #first off the way they drew sakura in that scene in the first place is just so beautiful thats the only word i can think for it rn 😭😭😭😭#second seeing this scene from sugishitas perspective and then learning later that the reason he has this reaction was because he thought-#-sakura looked cool and hes never thought that about anyone before just really gives us so much more for their relationship #specially how sugishita acts towards him 😭😭#add that onto what umemiya says to him (which i couldnt include in this post </3) about how hes never really shown emotion to anyone-#-till sakura showed up then it gives us an even BETTER understanding of why sugishita acts the way he does around sakura #my brain is so frazzled by the sun today and words are not coming to me easily so apologies if none of this makes any sense 😭😭😭#ill revisit it another time anyway #also the way they describe all of this really makes it sound like he has a lil crush and its so sweet 😭😭😭😭😭😭

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ktkat99 · 5 months

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I've been seeing that trend going around tictok where the people talk to their younger selves and all I can think of is what if the batfam met their younger selves?

Bruce, seven years old with two living parents, grinning widely at his adult self- Did we do it? Did we make them proud? Are we a doctor?

Bruce- ... No. But... we do help people. We're making a difference

Dick proudly wearing his Flying Greyson's suit- Are we still performing with Mom and Dad? Or have we got our own group now?

Dick- We've... got a new group now.

#batman #batfam #dick grayson #nightwing #bruce wayne #tictok #ill add more as i think of them #but just #the angst potential

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nosfelixculpa · 2 days

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You're both clumsy when it comes to comforting others. But you know, it's actually comforting. Because you're clumsy at it.

#creations #gifs #kdrama #kdramas #the devil judge #kang yohan #kang elijah #kim gaon #gahan #them trying to use food to comfort him bc he always cooks them big warm meals ill throw up and ill die maybe all in one go #god pls let him go to switzerland to be with his husband and his daughter #for all their sakes what r those bitches eating over there #me: i dont think i like adding grain #also me: oh yeah Add Noise #more gifs incoming i hav started 2 other ones i keep getting distracted #also jinyoungs face;; he is so beautiful

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positivelyadhd · 7 months

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sending my love and support to everyone currently impacted by the adhd medication shortage.

please know that you are allowed to need extra support if you're struggling without meds

and that there's nothing wrong with you for finding them helpful.

not being able to function in certain ways without them doesn't make you any less worthy of anything.

you are trying your best with what you have, please be kind to yourself and allow yourself to be proud of your achievements, even if they're different to how they would be with meds.

if you're used to doing things with your meds, having to spend time adjusting to not having them is difficult, there's nothing wrong with you for finding that.

I hope you know that you are not alone and can be proud of yourself for how you've managed so far <3

#i recently started elvanse and itd helped me so much #but the days ive gone without have been a lot more noticeable #its easy to worry that my meds made my adhd worse but in reality i think theyve just helped so much i didnt notice until i didnt have them #ill add some resources to this later!!#sending you all my love <3 #adhd medication #reminder #recovery #self talk

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scaryhaven · 9 months

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Yeah, yeah, so maybe I have my own deep issues, but I can't help it, I love characters that are hopelessly devoted, in love, nearing on unhealthy or outright, obsessed with, one person that they'll always be loyal to above all else, because they are truly incomplete without them.

#theres some nuisance here cuz I think its ok for them to move on if theyre rejected ofc while knowing that they will still be in their heart #and ill add more as i think of it #izzy hands #phantom of the opera #severus snape #borgiacest #i wanna tag littlefinger but i know i romanticize his 'love' to a degree tht no one else would tolerate lmao #gary walsh #hannigram

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skunkes · 30 days

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observation post but ive found myself doing a lot of "problem solving" for commissions in my sketchbook because it helps me in a way that drawing digitally does not... Now im trying to figure out why that happens and how to bridge that disconnect because well why would it be different. Why is it so different 😭

#like why does it happen #whys it difficult to do thumbnails for stuff digitally #why did i draw 5 hyena heads digitally and not get anywhere but when i did them on paper it made more sense #why can i get proportions down nicely when doing thumbnails on paper but not digitally #i dont get it! ive been using digital for longer too and i always run into these issues #i guess the case could also be made that i think the traditional stuff looks better bc i never make complete pieces in there #like maybe if i drew a full detailed body on paper id struggle just as much #but idk. trying to figure out variations of a character digitally feels so suffocating even if i do it the same way #idk what it is. i want to figure it iut #*out #talkys #i also have always had this insurmountable issue where ill sketch proportions nicely #but as soon as i go to add detail suddenly the head feels too small or something feels off #and when i adjust it it just becomes More Off #i think this just is worse digitally? messes with sense of scale? i really dont know!!! idk how to fix it

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ladymarlin · 5 months

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AUGH my Tumblr's messed up.

Anyways, this is for the anon who asked about preggo Heather headcanons <3

(Small tw for body image issues)

She'd be pretty freaked out at first, but Alejandro would calm her down

She'd be pretty hesitant to keep it, but after some reassurance from Alejandro, they'd keep it

Alejandro would be pretty excited

Heather would be scared either way. Worried about being a bad mom and stuff like that. She'd need A LOT of reassurance throughout the whole thing.

She'd be very emotional. In all sorts of ways.

She'd also be very clingy

She'd get upset when she gets too big to lay on him comfortably

She'd also worry a bit about body image since she got bullied in middle school for being fat, but she'd try not to think about it too much. She is growing a life, after all.

Alejandro would tell his mom. Heather wouldn't tell any of her family. She doesn't want them involved. At all.

She'd try hiding it from the public for a while. Alejandro would remind her she can't forever. Eventually she just gives up on it.

Her family would find out from paparazzi photos.

Overall, Heather doesn't like being pregnant. But on rare occasions she has soft moments.

They'd have a girl. And she'd have a Hispanic name (I personally like Marisol)

It'd take them a bit to get into things, but they get the hang of it pretty quickly. Though Heather still worries. Just a little bit.

More drawings just for you 😋

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lemondoddle · 9 months

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marble hornets- bones

[I.D. five screenshots and photos from marble hornets where the word "bones" appears in the following ways:

two images of the word spray painted in white vertically on the wall of a closet in brian's previous house from entry 16

the word written in black on a breaker box in a closet in alex's house in entry 46

spray painted in black across the entryway to the abandoned hospital in entry 56

spray painted in blue on the abandoned house that makes several appearances in the marble hornets comic

end I.D.]

#lane speaks #i tried to get good screenshots but esp for the first the camera passes over them so quick its hard to read in still images #anyways ive been noticing this detail on my rewatch and im very intrigued about it #my go to thought was that it relates to skully somehow (esp with it being on the house they frequent) but idk how it really relates #in the other ways #it could also just be a fun detail that doesnt really have an explanation either way i think its neat #if i find more ill add them im up to 56 in my rewatch but if there's more from earlier ive missed lmk #OH also its interesting that the three entries that feature it so far all end in 6 oooo spoookyyyy #marble hornets #mh #mh comic

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seariii · 9 months

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Not gonna lie I absolutely love the moral dilemma of Putting the abused child under more trauma (voting guilty) vs Risking the life of other people (voting innocent) it feels very

And I'm thriving

#by other people i mean at least Shidou and Mahiru. the kid has beef with them #and we can probably add Haruka there too since he is gonna attempt and we only have one doctor #i was thinking that amane doesnt have to go too far on Shidou if she just mawls his hands hes gonna have a hard time helping anyone #hes probably not gonna be able to even help himself if she manages to break his fingers or something #anyways im really really excited about this and im so sleepy is not even funny but ita so much fun to read everyone's theories and thoughts #so yeah! lets get kazui innocent so that he can protect everyone from the rabid child!#i think thats what ill focus more on....#milgram #amane momose

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ar0rin · 8 months

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Shiver's older siblings, based on the deep cut concept art

#i would add pronouns for them but idgaf and honestly think that they wouldnt either #honestly think that frye's concepts were a lot more interesting so ill maybe make frye siblings next #splatoon #splatoon 3 #deep cut #shiver hohojiro #master mega #he's there too!!#ar0rin

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voidedjuice · 8 months

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As promised, the Sharon & pals very old art recap:

The very first proper digital drawings of all of them. Airi is the oldest, with hers being from the may of 2016, with Sharon lagging behind at the march of 2017. Aalis is the "youngest" at the june of 2017.

Airi used to have her totally own thing, but I merged her into Sharon's project later on. Airi's gone through the hardest design revisions, while Aalis is like 99% the exact same as when i first doodled her sometime before that drawing.

Old art dump

Sharon's old refs (the only one of them who's had that privilege :( sad)

Most of the lore present is old and outdated + i ended up doing some retcons between drawings as well (recycling Aalis' surname for Sharon, changing her name from Charon to Sharon (esl mixed up those names initially/changed it bc it was a bit on the nose for her profession and role in the story)

#oc #i stopped drawing them 2018ish so its nice to come back to them #for a while i was going by chamomile-related usernames & sharon was initially the mascot i made for myself #sharon's signature flower are chamomiles aalis' flower is asphodel #airis ghost form has cat ears for lore reasons (ghosts get kind of messed up from outside influences when they spend enough time hanging ou #and shes pretty old for a ghost (died like some centuries before being bound to a doll)#initially she was meant to have died very young but tbh having significantly more years of living experience behind her would work better s #i think ill redesign her a bit soon #theres some old inktobers i think ill add in a reblog i think im getting close to the image limit #long post

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