#ill think about that tomorrow im so tired

[mourningcttlfsh]

pokemon legends arceus ending/post game spoilers!!!!

whenever someome calls volos evil outfit ugly an angel loses its wings

#im so tired loterally on the verge of honk shoooo mimimimi #anyway guys i swear its nkt even that bad #one of my biggest unpopular opinions is that his haircut is kind of cool tbh... #guys he probably did it all by himself smh of course it wouldnt be perfect #urgrhfhh i dont remember where it is that i saw someone say this idk if it was like. #a tumblr post or a tiktok or like. a youtube video or maybe a post on some other websige #but someone said somethig about how his outfit is bad on purpose #and tbh yeah #you guys rlly think he would logically have some perfect outfit???? #WAIT HOL D ON I HAVE TO CLARIFFU #CLARIFY*** #no hate to anyone who makes alt forms of his outfit #i totally understand #but guys leave him alonr smh #i need ti make a volo tag ughhhghh i am NOT tagging thos wotj the actual volo tag #ill think about that tomorrow im so tired

[taikanyohou]

“... and the first person to reach out to me ...” THE EIGHTH SENSE (2023) - Episode 8.

#the eighth sense #jaewon x jihyun #asianlgbtqdramas #asiandramasource #kdramadaily #kdramasource #boyslovesource #* #faiza gifs #idk man SOMETHING SOMETHING about the way in which both of their whole WORLD just STOPS #and they just get soooooooooooooo ... TRANSFIXED on each other that everything else just becomes .... dust. #jaewon pleaaaaase the way his gaze just FOLLOWS jihyun *HEAD IN HANDS*. #ANYWAY! i think i have 2 (???) more gifsets to make of this ep and then im done but ill do them tomorrow bc im tired and they have dialogue #which'll take longer so yaaaaa. #anyway. back to the crux of this gifset: THE LONGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

hm. you know... since i no longer hate my art... i Could transfer this blog to my main. i could shimmy right over there! it would make many things easier!

#i would have to approach the url change Delicately... #if i do this! i wouldn't delete this side blog but. #it no longer feels like a side blog! Art no longer feels like a side blog! i no longer feel like one!!! #it wouldn't be a big change #i'd sidestep over and simply say here 'hi! i moved Over There! its exactly the same except its Over There!' #and i would no longer have 6 blog tabs to wrangle... #absolutely unprompted #i might!! i might. #i have tomorrow off so perhaps... i will run it past some Trusted Individuals to get some input on the matter.... #im tired of worrying 'do they know its me??? do they think im just some rando??? Well Fuck.' #and then i cant be like 'haha its actually me carrioncarnival' bc thats. Weird i feel #fuck. carnivalcarrion. AGH. ITS MEANT TO BE THE OTHER WAY AROUND ILL DIE MAD ABOUT THIS #wait perhaps. Perhaps. #hm.... we'll see!

[sheikahwarriork]

Got a prompt for you

Dimileth Post-Timeskip pre-Gronder unplanned pregnancy

(thank you so much anon, i had so much fun writing this!! hope you enjoy it too :3 <3)

wordcount: 1.2k

“Fuck!”

“… Fuck indeed”.

Byleth looked up at Mercedes, biting her lips. “What the fuck am I supposed to do now?!”

Mercedes sighed, visibly worried for her professor. “I think… you should at least tell him, professor. The final choice is entirely yours, of course, but he has to know”. She hesitated. “He needs to know”.

Byleth lowered her gaze. “Sadly, I think you’re right”.

The former mercenary was standing in front of the Cathedral, unable to step inside. She caressed her belly almost unconsciously. ‘You’re not a mistake. I just… I'd rather prefer you not to meet your father when he’s… like that’.

The belly didn’t respond.

Byleth was angry. Furious. She had never felt such rage, not even to Kronya the day Jeralt died. And the worst part? She didn’t even know who exactly this rage was for. Herself? Maybe. Destiny? Not exactly; destiny was Sothis, and Sothis was long gone. Him? Well, yes, of course; but not only. Biology? That one, too. Maybe especially it.

Byleth’s gaze wandered inside the Cathedral, immediately recognizing his figure, standing in front of the old Goddess statue, as he did every single fucking day since they reunited.

Okay, maybe that anger was totally for Dimitri. What did he do, since she woke up, since she found him? Kill, talk to the dead; kill, argue with Byleth; kill; and kiss her. He kissed her. He fucking kissed her. That damn bastard, who once was so afraid of his feelings he even took back his love confession, had the gall to grab her and kiss her like she was water and he was lost in a desert. He kissed her at the worst time possible because she had waited for it for so long, and that wasn’t the right time. She had kissed him back. Byleth missed her Dimitri; missed the sweet prince, missed the caring student, missed her kind friend. She shouldn’t have kissed him back. She should have scolded him, have stepped back. That… that wasn’t her Dimitri. Her lips weren’t for that… not-Dimitri. She should have gone away. She hadn’t, of course, because when Dimitri’s hungry lips captured hers, she felt… desire. Longing. Fire; a burning sensation she thought would kill her instantly. It hadn’t. She indulged in the fire, she lost herself in that fire. She was fire; she had been since the beginning.

Byleth shook her head; it was pointless to think about… that. What is done is done.

She stepped inside the Cathedral; he didn’t turn to her, his shoulders startled slightly, the only sign he noticed her presence.

Oh, the anger was back. Like a tsunami. “Oi, asshole!” Byleth shouted, unable to stop herself. “I have something important to tell you, so at least, look at me”.

Dimitri hesitated for a moment, but apparently something in Byleth’s tone caught his curiosity, since he did turn to her. He just shot her a vague questioning glare.

Byleth sighed. She thought about the advice Mercedes gave her, about what to tell him, how to tell him—

“I’m pregnant”.

It didn’t go exactly as planned.

Dimitri’s eyes widened, the hand holding Areadbhar twitched. He didn’t say anything, just looked at her for forty seconds straight.

“… Who”, he eventually said.

Byleth furrowed. “What?!”

“Who dared touch you”, Dimitri growled, his voice raising in tone.

Byleth blinked a few times. “What the hell do you mean”.

Dimitri was getting closer; he stopped a few inches from Byleth’s face.

“I’ll kill them. I’ll kill whoever dared to touch you, no, whoever dares to even look at you—”

‘Oh… oh heavens, no. He can’t be that dumb, can he?’

“What are you talking about?”

“… The baby’s father, of course”, he hissed, visibly annoyed. “Who is he”. Dimitri looked away, almost as if he was unable to hold her gaze. Almost as if he feared the answer.

‘Oh. He is that dumb’.

“Who do you think he is?” Byleth asked, almost casually. He was going to pay for his dumbness, and she deserved some fun.

Dimitri turned to her, anger in his eyes. “Don’t tease me, you! Tell me who dared touch my—”

“‘Your’ what? Am I yours now?” Byleth interrupted him, folding her arms, holding his gaze.

Dimitri gasped and fell silent. Byleth, still looking him in the eye, grabbed his hand and placed it on her belly.

“This is yours. This— is ours”. ‘You dumbass’, she also thought, but decided to keep it to herself.

Dimitri’s eyes went from their joined hands to her face, looking at her in disbelief.

“Keep in mind—I’m not asking you for help or… or opinions. I don’t need them and don’t care about them. I’m just telling you because you have the right to know—”

Byleth stopped talking when Dimitri suddenly dropped to his knees, their joined hands still placed on Byleth’s belly. It took her a few seconds to notice he was sobbing. Desperately sobbing.

“I’m sorry”, Dimitri was mumbling. “I’m so sorry”.

Yes, Byleth was generally angry with him, but she didn’t hate him. Quite the opposite, in fact. That’s why she yielded and took his face in her hands, looking at him. “Why are you apologizing, Dimitri?” she asked softly.

Dimitri startled, as he did every time Byleth called him by his name. He tried to turn away, but Byleth kept holding him, looking him in the eye. “Answer me”, she demanded.

“I…” Dimitri gasped, searching for words. “Your… child… deserves a better father. A better person. All I know how to do is kill… I have to… They… are telling me this is wrong; I do not have the right—”

“Dimitri”, Byleth interrupted firmly. “A soon-to-be-human is growing inside me. A child will be born. I will be their mother, you will be their father. Now, tell me. Who is more important? The long-gone ones, or the coming ones? Who do you want to dedicate your life to? What, who does your life belong to?”

Dimitri’s eyes were shut, tears along his cheeks. “I… want… it to be yours. Both of you”. His eyes opened. “But, tell me, professor... Please, Byleth, tell me... How do I silence their desperate pleas? How do I... How do I save them? Ever since that day nine years ago... I have lived only to avenge the fallen… How could I be a fitting father for a small creature if I can’t even please those that are already here…”

“Those are not here, Dimitri”, Byleth whispered, her forehead touching his. “But I’m here, and they… they will be soon”, she added, bringing his hand back to her belly. “You just need to choose. Not necessarily now. I’ll… wait for you; I’ll always wait for you.” Her vision was blurred. Was she crying too? ‘I miss you, Dimitri. I miss you so much. Please, don’t leave me alone anymore…’

She would wait until the end of time, if needed, to have a glimpse of her Dimitri back. She knew it, and it hurt. Because she was aware she’d never stop loving him. And, sometimes, to love means to wait. And, often, waiting is painful.

Lost in her tears, she didn’t immediately notice Dimitri’s hands softly caressing her cheeks. When she did, she opened her eyes to meet Dimitri’s resolute gaze. “And I’ll always choose you, my beloved.”

#thank u so muchhhh i hope the grammar is right oh my god #im so tired rn and writing in english is DIFFICULT #i have another ask with a prompt but ill work to it tomorrow #also guys why lately are you asking me about dimileth babies. even the other ask is about children #im 23 please dont make me think too much about having kids HELp #joking im appreciating these asks SO MUCH I LOVE UUU #dimileth #byleth eisner #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #fe3h #my fic #dimileth fic #angst with a happy ending #<3 #sothis ships dimileth

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

.

#tw suicide #no seriously heed the tw this is probably upsetting i just. i need to say it somewhere and i will not say it to my family. #puddleglum hours #personal #its just i was thinking. #tother day the doctor asked: do you regret it? about the suicide attempt tuesday night. #and i said something that i still feel: if i regret anything about it it's that i didn't succeed. #they're talking of discharging me tomorrow or something and im just. #what do i need to do to be kept in for longer?! damn it all i *know* how i could kill myself in here. #but i don't want to. i need them to save me #because i can't save myself! if they discharge me tomorrow i think it very likely ill be dead before the end of the week! or at least in #hospital from another attempt! this new med has made me more numb but the thoughts haven't gone away just muted. and then. #at times like this im perfectly wild about it! i cannot keep myself alive i need them to do it for me! #but when ive seen the doctor each time its been when im exhausted and numb and i don't care but that is not the case always. #i don't know. i don't see a good outcome any which way. #hopefully tomorrow the doctor sees me at a time when im feeling like this i think. #because i think i need to tell them. but i don't know how or even if it matters #and sometimes i just want to die. #im so tired of living guys. why #editing to add i am still on hiatus and if you want to contact me and know my discord contact me there #so i will not be responding to anything here for this moment at least

[modernbaseball]

(Girl with two jobs and family commitments in school full time voice) Should I get into making dioramas

#i really want to though #i havent done anything artistic in forever because im so tired and i dont have days off LOL. Whatever! #and i cant even see my doctor tomorrow. for a new patient appointment #i feel physically ill thinking about how much longer ill have to wait to get in but its fine. #personal

[im-smart-i-swear]

im sick so i drew my girl nika to cheer myself up,,

#felix net i nika #fnin #my art #she has a tooth gap now!!!! and pimples!!!!! i dont make the rules!!!!!!!1! #her outfit in the first drawing is what she was wearing on the cover of 'orbitalny spisek' btw<3 #ughhhhhh im having Nika Thoughts (tm) AGAIN #im not gonna elaborate rn tho cause i Dont Feel Great #maybe ill ramble about her tomorrow #i love drawing her sleep deprived and tired and pissed and sad<3333333 shes got Problems #sweet jesus i spent so much time on that first drawing........... im never drawing a skirt with a pattern again. #it turned out pretty cool tho i think!! #i used so much orange....... gee i wonder why:) #god i want atumn to come already. i want to wear sweaters and sweatpants and i want to be able to sleep at night without feeling like im in #a fuckin furnace!!!

[seariii]

Hum...

#im just thinking... im okay tho /gen #just thinking about the words the bestie said to me after I told him about my mental health... #particularly a phrase... he just said 'you are already committed' and when i asked what he meant he said 'to life' #its just... idk... it was impressive and had such a weird feeling... sadly i guess i am committed........ 'sadly' huh.... #sigh another important thing was that it was crucial i went back to therapy... i dont really want to tho... #but 'youve been feeling like this for a long time you need help' ... sigh... what i need is... #the future is so scary... sigh... okay #ill put an alarm to wake up earlier tomorrow and work on that! #seari talks #what i need is adderall- jsjsjsjsjs yeah... alr im sleepy time to mimir #tomorrow ill catch up with everything i missed too #also if anyone reads this dont worry pretty person! i got a bit scared/upset up there but its okay #im quite stable right now! at least enough to survive for a couple days! so yup! #miiiight have to look up a new therapist tho... since aside from help i wanna get a diagnosis.... #sigh... but okay that's not for rn seari it's for future seari. rn seari has to go mimir because shes tired #a mimir a mimir pat pat pat

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ugh. im so tried. why is crying so exhausting? i havent done anything. this is bullshit #we went from a slow motion breakdown to full on freakout meltdown today #luckily no one was around in the lab this morning bc i couldnt stop crying #so i went to the counseling center and made myself their problem #canceled my committee meeting. which everyone tells me is fine. its all fine #think about going home for a while they say. maybe tell ur dad ur having a bad time thry say #but im so tired. and i dont kno what to do and its all falling apart #i just feel like im brushing up against the limits of what i can do intellectually and its like well where do i go from here? #what do i do with my old data? how do i move my project forward? whats the point of any of this? #why did i put myself in this position? would taking a leave even help? id still have to come back to the same mess #its just so frustrating bc theres no solution ill find satisfying. everything just sucks. #idk what my advisor even told my committee. bc we were supposed to meet tomorrow morning. ugh. it would have been so bad #it also sucks bc im so drained that i can just feel my own weight when im trying to talk to ppl #like u kno when ur being a wet blanket but u dont kno how to fix it. like srry my vibes r wretched. maybe im just stuck like this #i dunno. my dad invited us home for a week in july and also plans to come out to visit me in August. but that seems like a long time away #i dunno what im gonna do. what a disaster #unrelated

[paint-it-dead]

-Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five

#berserk #griffguts #guts #griffith #griffith×guts #berserk manga #griffith berserk #guts berserk #honestly... im tired #idk if its pretty or not i spent too much time on this its 2 am i have to wake up early tomorrow lol #hope yall like ittt #slaughterhouse five my beloved <3 #i have another post about this ill be posting it shortly whoop #i always think about making edits to song lyrics but alas i dont know how to do that so this is my substitute #my posts

[wastelandhell]

deranged rambling

#i typed out another post but it became a massive text wall that i probably shouldnt post #but tl;dr im severley depressed. i have been my whole life but it started getting bad again in november #and this last month has been the hardest month of my fucking life #im so sleep deprived that i cant think clearly i cant eat im in constant pain #my thoughts arent even coherent my brain feels like its being twisted around #i cant do my job anymore i stopped booking clients #so thats how my lifes been going #dont worry about me ill be fine i always pull through im just tired #im going to talk to my brother tomorrow. my relationship with him is strained but hes all i have and i know he can help me. #i dont know why im posting this. ive been drinking. #also sorry for how cold ive been lately #and how ive been ignoring all my messages/asks/replies/tags for the last few months #i do like hearing from people i just. literally cannot respond

[possiblytracker]

me (only sober one in the conversation but tired out of my mind and equally lacking a filter): i thibk my.friends are mad at me

one of the five absolutely shitfaced 15-17 year old cousins also sitting round the campfire at the family gathering, taking it in turns to drink straight out a huge bottle of costco margarita mix where the adults are pretending not to see at 11pm on a sunday night: bruhhh have you tried going into the woods and hitting things with a big stick til you feel better

another absolutely shitfaced 15-17 year old cousin: i wish someone would hit ME with a big stick til I feel better :(

#alcohol / #drinking / #ask to tag?? #weekend was eventful #like 30+ people turned up for this fucking party its the most relatives ive seen in one place since 2018 #there was no hitting people with big sticks but someone did get pushed off a trampoline into a nettle patch #which i was not present for i went to bed early(ish). but funny nonetheless #my brother is a BAD INFLUENCE he just kept handing out beers to the cousins his age and getting them absolutely sloshed #people who like. hardly ever drink or even never have before #so the late night campfire was an Interesting Time #very irresponsible he got in so much trouble over it bc hes only allowed to drink if hes responsible about it.. #which means not peer pressuring other 16 year olds. #several of which said later they dont remember anything after 11pm????? guys your LIVERS. thats NOT SAFE #im still on my anxiety bullshit tho i have a presentation to turn in Tomorrow Morning and i have no meds and am tired as fuck #and i DO kinda think people could possibly be mad at me but im just. not thinking abt that right now i have enough on my mind <3 ill die <3 #i miss my friends im a wet shaking animal but if i talk to anyone and turns out they ARE mad i will evaporate into a fine mist i am sorry

[berrymeter]

closest place i can get my covid shot done is over an hour away by public transport im literalyl gonna get covid on the way there huh

#perth.txt #so few availabilities too. either today at 12smth pm or tomorrow at 11smth am. what if i died badly #like. i'm tired Now. it's 10 am. going there is super unpractical & there's no way my mother will take me by car bc she fucking hates me #im. just gonna go sleep i think. cant think about this any more ill just lose my mind #why does everything have to be complicated i just want to live. come on

[ronkeyroo]

I wish the pain didnt come with the intrusive memories and thoughts so godamn much...I’ll wrap things up for today, I should let myself rest before this devlolves any further. Thank you for everything today folks ;; I loved seeing you hype over my art and I appreciate all of the tenderness so much...Take care for now

#i feel so bad for having to step away again #i hope i hope I feel better im so tired of being dragged down like this after an amazing day #all of the people i dissappoint and let down again feels like a stab and im trying not to think about it too much #i keep sticking to the mentality that nobody needs me when im like this and its just...I dont know #i feel like i fail everyone when im like this #when my body and mind are like this #and i cant do anything but succumb to how it makes me feel #fuck this illness and fuck me and fuck everything #i should just go and hope tomorrow will allow me to tend back to everything #its almost the weekend #things will be good #they have to be #i know they can be

[strwbrymlkshake]

Why can't I be satisfied with everything? It needs to be perfect to me and I can't accept anything otherwise :(

#mine #oh boy here we go. guy last post was about has been pretty cool and i got flustered around him a few times #but i feel bad bc. i need m o r e he isnt insane enough he isnt making me go absolutely crazy i want to be satisfied but im NOT im sorry #like its quite honestly the most attention acceptance etc ive gotten but its not ENOUGH he doesnt die whenever i send a selfie #im never satisfied WHY i have unrealistic expectations !!!! i hate my brain killing and violence and death etc #i get crushes on guys who want nothing to do with me but then when one actually wants me its not enough? what is wrong with me #thrill of the chase? i cant accept being loved? what is it brain. christ almighty. im not doing anything like deliberately yandere related #anymore im just being generally incomprehensibly mentally ill 🙄 still trying to find a therapist but idk how on earth ill explain that #ill update this post tomorrow with more insanity but for now i am the sleepy tired #// ok its now 3 days later i dont feel like making another post. i think i was just having a mental illness moment as always #because he does make me insane. hashtag girl. im trying to be the smartest and calculated i have ever been with a relationship in my life #like im thinkin about it so hard bro. the future n shit. how would this relationship go. im so scared ill do something wrong its preventing #me from doing things RIGHT. im sad becaude i flipped out today over even imagining him being upset with me a little #so i was really embarrassed and it put me in a weird mood for the rest of the night but he reassured me he doesnt hate me or want me to die #every one aaalways says theyre different. i can only hope this one is telling the truth. i dont know what ill do if he isnt. #well i need to stop whining about fictional scenarios and focus on the good stuff in reality. i get along with him very well and he #is very niceys to me :3 he doesnt think im fucking insane or stupid for overreacting. i feel very comfortable gossiping and talking w him #every long time blog viewer of mine reading this like ah shit here we go again #but thats what im here for. i guess. just have to keep doing this shit until something good finally happens to me romantically hngh #i feel so strange because i have wanted and yearned for a relationship but now that i actually could have one im like WAIT #I DIDNT THINK ID GET THIS FAR 💀💀💀 bruh. and he doesnt even think im stupid hes respectful to me he checks in on me all the time #like perhaps the only person to ever actually almost match my energy in a romantic sense. there was [redacted] i guess but he didnt love me #he listens to me talk about my problems he doesnt think i complain or overreact too much. all the ridiculous cringe shit i do #he doesnt mind it. its nice to be able to be myself. and im really proud of myself for not rushing into a relationship right away

[mainfaggot]

got snowed on and got slushed on but im still standing

#todays outfit is just faggoty realness ill post pics later maybe. think sleek sexy and understated #yesterday i was having a hard time focusing bc in the back of my mind i was agonizing about the logistics of existence and suicide #really not that poetic just like. philosophical and upsettingly so #but i think i can set some goals for myself and maybe . i can slowly comvince myself theyre not pointless to have #ill talk to my therapist about it later this week. and tomorrow im hanging out with my crush!! #i feel really insane but im compartimenalizing pretty well because i had a decently productive last 2 days despite everything #going on in my mind at the same time #im really fucking tired lol #z.post #*COMPARTIMENTALIZING