#im not happy with this one but like im just sick of looking at it

[pistagio]

shadowheart kinda…….

#im not happy with this one but like im just sick of looking at it #it doesn’t really look like her either but whatever #art #artists on tumblr #procreate #fanart #drawing #anime #illustration #manga #digital art #character art #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate fanart #shadowheart

[opikiquu]

aventurine pl. Plea s e . PLLEEEEEEASE

#★ arin rambles #‘here we go again’ you think everytime you see my ramble tag. I dont blame you #AVENTURINE AVENTURINE PLEASE SAVE ME WHITE BOY #OH MY LORD #OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS OH MY GOODNESS. #MY JSOE IS RUNNING HES RUINNING MY LIFE I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE IM SO ILL PLEASE I #AVENTURINE. im so serious i can talk about this man all day. and more specifically this video #‘it was just posted 30 minutes ago arin youre scaring the kids’ SILENCE. I NEED SPACE #I NEED A. A MOMENT. EVERYBODY PLEAS GETA WAY FROM ME IM GOING TO GET SO SCARY #Please. Im so sorry. Im begging you . I love this man oh my gish please hes so cute #HES SO CUTE. HES SO CUTE IM SO SICK OF HIM WHY???????? WHY IS HE SO PRETTY HES SO PRETTY HES GOREGOUS HES SO STUNNING. HELLO. HELLO. #Im going to. Slam my head against the wall im overwhelmed with joy and happiness hes everything ive ever wanted ever #any minute not spent talking about him is a moment wasted i promise you MY PRINCESS IM COMING TO SAVE YOU #IM HIS KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR EXCEPT ITS NOT SHINY #IM COVERED IN DIRT #IM STILL COMING FOR YOU AVENTURINE RUN #oh goodness me oh my #im so happy hes so prettu im so happy i cant do rhis im sweating geniumnly i feel so sick #Im cant . Do this anymore. I CANT TAKE IT. I HAVE TO… AAUGH… AAAHH… I HAVE TO…. DANCE! #guys…. he my favorriet… #my slinky….. my krimpet… my teacup i think. My doc mc stuffins doctor playset. My dishwasher. My italian coldsteel cinquedea . atp anything #hes my EVERYTHING. MY EVERYTHING…!!!!!!!! *MY TELEKENISIS THROWS EVERYTTHING ACROSS THE ROOM* #yall i dont think ive had a hyperfixation this horribly bad since. Since the. Since. MAN I DONT KNOW #IM COOKED. HE WOMT LEAVE ME ALONE. I LITERALLY DREAMT OF HIM LAST NIGHT LIKE IM SO DOOMED? ACTUALLY? #oh to be medicated and focus on . Things like cooking. Or idk. Getting a job. No i just think about some messed up blonde all day im absolut #ly DOOMED #yes im still yapping i got 30 tags u gon stick through them all. Every single one of them. Dont leave me please i want to talk about him ton #TO SOMEONE. I WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIM TO SOMEONE ALL DAY. ALL MY FRIENDS ARE TESTING. IM LEFT ALONE ALL DAY I JUST WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY WIFE #i womder how crazy i look right now #Sighs lovingly at him..

[clownattack]

my midterm/absolutorium is over and now i can actually. celebrate my bday lol i was too buried by uni bs this month to unwind.

i got like three diff pieces of cake from my fave pastry shop bc I DESERVE IT AFTER BLOWING MY PRESENTATION/DEFENSE OUT THE PARK (according my my classmates/prof but also ME MIETTE!!! IM SO HAPPY I DIDNT CLAM UP LIKE I DID DURING THE ONLINE PRESENAYSH AUHJA. And the prof cadre actually??? Seemed interested and asked me questions abt the process etc. Which is not on brand, usually they seem disinterested in what ppl are presenting and only a few projects get their attention. NGL after working my ass off beading these skulls i feel JUSTLY REWARDED. HARD WORK PAID OFF. And as per uj they couldnt believe i make them all by hand lmaaaaooo anyway zen right now after beinf so stressed last week & the weekend i can actually relax. enjoy my term break. make some clay critters

also the pics are kind of ehhh bcs the artificial lighting was super intense and kind of took away the softness/dark colors from the skulls esp :c i dont really want to upload hi res pics of these things until im finished with my masters 100% and hopefully have my degree. The red skull esp looks kind of miserable compared to rl/vids/proper documentation but i dont want to upload now. idk maybe i will once i rest and think abt it? ANYWAY THE CAKES

#maybe one more skull ahaha... #i have 7 already i dont need more but i want to make a pink/white oyster mushroom looking guy #BUT LIKE!!!!!! #IM SO HAPPY PROFS ENGAGED WITH ME #one showed me some art jewelry pieces as inspo/reference after i stepped down #since i mentioned i want to make jewelry annex inspired by memento mori jirly #and another one actually remembered me from last year??? HUH #He remembered the skeleton i made and said hes really looking forward to my masters being done / final presentation #which btw i will have to find an actual solo gallery space and organize the whole event #which #not scary at all #sweating #but for now im just elated by the validation and praise from everyone LAMOASDASD #ill fucking take it #like the skulls are sick ok #i didnt make pics of the whole set up #the kintsugi and delft one was on the grrrround #i dont really mind tho bcs yeah #for a gallery space the light quality was not good #i can make better pics in the studio/at home lol #i actually cant wait to make a proper post abt all this :'c #its been like 3 years of sculptures at this point that i havent posted abt #im so happy the live presentation impressed peeps #bcs yeah i was so stressed b4 the online one AND IT SHOWED #i said /actually/ so much and my voice wibbled #idek why i think it was exhaustion #ok im off to get my fucking BABA TIME #uni #gpoy

[hybridshadowz]

Been sick for the last few days but I finally got to finish this for my patr*on peeps~! I love my boi gore magalaaaaaa (>u<)

#lol my whole family is sick #i was just the last one to feel any symptoms #sucks tbh #but really happy with this piece #like you have no idea #I look at it and im like HEK YEAH I DID THIS #I did have someone help me tho since they know more about monster drawing #i love them so much and appreciate them #cause I can’t draw monster for shit #the sketch phase was a nightmare hahahaha #gore magala #monster hunter #mh sunbreak #hybs art

[lilgynt]

my mom found the thing that started the fight that got me kicked out. so i was right. in my fantasies this happens and it’s great in real life im gonna jump her

#personal #now i gotta call amazon like no sorry my mom looked again and found it #it’s happened to me i get it. you look everywhere and it’s just not there #but oh my god. i was like shit did i send it??? i only remember the other camera? i only remember that one in there #then it’s like well maybe i did take it on accident #and then i was like am i getting so high all the time again that i sent it too???? and don’t remember? that’s pathetic mm #so i called them and god hard to find their number but call and get a note put in the system like hey might have done an oppsie #and that took forever and i did it next day after the fight bc i did feel bad #which was at workkkk 😔 #now i gotta call them back nutssssss #also getting my dads ashes separated for my siblings #which either need to do flex time to do that or take day off #which i’ve been doing a lot like hey im sick! #hey! my house got broken into!! #hi again!!! it happened again!!!! #luckily one was a mental health day so ur boys only called out twice yeahhhhhhh #but anyway honestly just happy i let them know the urn situation is 100% on you #said nicer #but i was like hey if u have one just send it to me or the cremation place has some just see if u like any #and i’ll see if it’s easier to pay online or give it to me and i pay them #but urns easily 100 bucks if not more. granted looked at metal before wood but still. ain’t noooooooooooooo way #if it was like. 20 bucks i could see myself being like okay ill fork it over and deliver the goods (dad) #and i’ll rant this everytime but especially when i asked about this when we were funeral planning and before i got them and got told to #basically shut up. no. that trip was super hard didn’t wanna have to do it a couple times #i remember i came home with dad sobbing he was buckled in and i got him out and was just holding him #and i let everyone know hey dads home he’s safe #and i’m distraught holding my dad but distraught and talking to him #and first thing my brother says is when can we get some of the ashes too? #no asking me hey. u alright? no im happy dads home safe nothing just. sooooo #oh i could have killed i could have KILLED.

[meateater-lamb]

#vent #ahhh my best friend has once again told me to move out and look at shelters hahahahahahaha #like fuck man there ISNT A SHELTER HERE. #the only one we have is only open a couple months in winter #and also a shelter is THE WORST OPTION #esp in utah #like if i move out i need 2 have like help i cant just do it on my own yknow #he did have a good idea abt a mental health professional being able 2 help me tho.. #but then im 2 scared my mom will find out im going to therapy!!! #but i am going to look into it #bc like. i just cant do this anymore yknow #this place is killing me #like literally #both my mental and physical health are. very poor rn. #idk what 2 do idk. i am fuckin scared abt everything yknow #dissociation has gotten worse #i keep seeing things #heart is acting up #cant eat #keep having nightmares #mom wants me 2 give her $1.5k #my dog is super arthritic n im the only one who will do anything with her #which is making MY joints and body pain way worse #i am always sick n i always have the smell of mold stuck in my nose now #i cant even function man #i just lay on the couch all day sick and out of my mind n then i get screamed at for it #bc im the only one who cleans so if im not cleaning the house is fucked and so the house is fucked #i cant see a way out idk #nothing makes me happy and i feel like im dying again #my entire life is fucked

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#truly i have too modes. so fucking busy i cant breathe. cant think without a muddled lag. feeling motion sick as i walk #a path ive walked a thousand times over. or not busy enough. without thr pressure i revert to a liquid state and spill across the floor #i cant seem to do anything. at least when im busy i cant feel how miserable i am. at least for a little while bc i have to focus #idk how to find a balance. it always seems to be all or nothing. outside my control but directed by my control #ugh. after the month ive had the misery's caught up with me. also i havent been sleeping enough #i felt horrible all day in the lab ans i was like. i mean maybe its low bloodsugar? but then when i went home i felt 1000 times better #which is. ya kno understandable but not great #idk i can just feel the anger leaking out from under my skin. ive made the system unlivable. now im suffocating on the echo of pain #and i feel bad bc it must b all over my face. bitterness simmering in my words #i met with my boss today for a delayed meeting of a delayed meeting and showed her some preliminary data. she was excited and asked what i #felt abt it. and i dont feel anything abt it. nothing. i dont care i dont care i dont care i dont fucking care #set my datasheets on fire. burn them to ash. i wouldnt feel anything #and im sure some of that sentiment came thru bc she later texted me to reiterate how cool the data is bc no ones done a study this #extensive ans i dont kno how to reply bc again i dont care. theres no breathing enthusiasm back. that dim light has been extinguished. i #look forward to never having to think abt it again. #whatever the more pressing issue is that i cant get my brain to function enough to save me from the other problems i have boiling over #just me sabotaging potential future happiness from where i sit unhappily in the present #annoying. ugh i need to sleep. #unrelated

[pepprs]

my mom isn’t letting my dad go back to his office bc him being out of the house stresses her out and makes her have a flare up and it’s like kind of insane. like i understand why the idea of him doing that would make her panicky and angry as someone who also struggles w separation anxiety and abandonment shit / has physical symptoms from that kind of stress (though not to the same degree ofc) but also he is a grown man. he should be allowed to go to his office and not have to shape his entire life around her needs. and she keeps guilt tripping him out of it and it’s impacting his quality of life a lot and the whole thing is kind of… hm

#purrs #delete later #also she’s guilt tripping me into coming to the stupid fucking potluck on sunday bc she needs the extra help and it’s like… what are you #gonna do when i move out. like i am a grown woman and i should be able to choose how i spend my two precious weekend days. and my dad is a #grown man and he should be able to choose where he works. like is that not a little bit insane. i get it but also….. i do think it s kind of #fucked ip that it’s her way or the highway and her needs take priority over all of ours and she’s asking us to bend to what she wants when #she wants it. like i get it bc she’s sick but it’s not fair for her to expect that from my dad especially. particularly when me and my #brother are back at work / school in more high risk environments than my dad who would be in a private office alll day. and the thing is no #one is brave enough to all her on it bc if we did it would be the END of the world. she even threw a fit on my dads bday and complained bc #the things he wanted to do were things she didn’t want to do like all the man wanted to do was go mini golfing and when that wasn’t good #enough he just wanted to go on a walk and my mom complained the whole time and also scoffed the movie he wanted to watch and said it was #boring and it’s like… wtf it’s HIS birthday??? but what do you expect from the woman who (and in fairness her friends got her these as gifts #but still) has TWO kitchen items that say some variation of ‘a marriage is when one is always right and the other is always the husband’ 💀 #i look at that little plaque every night bc it’s in front of the sink when im doing dishes and it makes me so fucking angry. like my dad is #a whole fucking person and he can be right too and he deserves to make choices and be happy and not have his wife put him down all the time. #idk. and she puts down his family all the time too and complains when he wants to do the most reasonable things for his own enjoyment that #don’t align with hers and criticizes his interests all the time and it just sucks to see. he never shows hurt or anything so idk how he #feels about it but it makes me so angry and sad and when i tell her to stop she just lashes out at me so. 🤪. like how do we get her to stop #making her needs more important than everyone else’s bc… she may be our mom / his wife / whateger but that doesn’t make her queen. no one is #(andalso this has only gotten worse bc of covid / her being sick. like this has been a lifelong thing it’s just it’s a lot worse now bc the #circumstances gave her room / forced her to have to take up more space. and it’s just so frustrating. i get it. but none of us are pawns or #dolls or subordinates or anything. there’s 5 adults here and we should all be able to make choices and not be guilt tripped by her. lol #)

[girlwithfish]

having horrible self image i just have to deal w it cuz like hwen am i ever happy with how i look or my body i just want to stop being at war w myself or at least w my looks cuz it just is such a downer always being unhappy with my physical self like im already unhappy w who i am as a person cn i at least be satisfied w how i look😔☹️idk i never grew out of the self hatred phase it just sucks. very ed sh tw in tags i guess

#spent my childhood hating my body too all of middle school and hs basically like how did this happen lmfskdkd #id limit what i ate track calories i would take ice baths cuz i thought id burn calories all of this stuff it was so stupid and idk sad i #guess #no one rly cared either ig cuz my health wasnt in danger but i was so unhappy w myself and always tired and sad and just mde me more depres #depressed #now its like ive never been happy w myself i tried to be satisfied w my face after yrs of hating my looks and e asian features #and my facial deformity lol loke yeah #Ok #so i still hate that . sometimes i can tolerate my face but its not like i love myself or think i look good cuz #i feel like im just objectively ugly and i hate my face and i hate my body usually #unless if i see i lost weight or in the morning when im m*rnjng sk*nny its so gross like lol i need to stop #i hate it sm and i just feel like cutting myself out of my body idk like a lot #its like smth i just have to get over i guess idk what else there is Lol #i try to have a healtby relationship to food nd soemtimes i even like cooking and i dont fast or anything anymore cuz like i hate #feeling sick from hunger nd being tired im already tired in general so i need energy so yeah but #idk </3 #It just sucks idk how to dsal w it lik i just have to be satisfied and accept myself fro who i am #and all my looks and features and everything on my body #i guess #It just sucks cuz i think im the most ugly repulsive thing sometimes and wish i coukd disappear or cut myself away like.

[orchideius]

if my life doesn’t get better in two years, I think I will join the 27 club lollll

#I am so tired of being sad all the time no matter what j try and do to fix it!!!! #in 2 years I will have my masters and if life doesn’t look up by then then…. #I am so tired of living here I want to move away and travel and romanticize my life #I am also so sick of all the friends I have where I live like I have absolutely outgrown them and i’m tired of being too nice and treated #like dirt #my bday is in 3 weeks and I have no idea what to do for it and I feel lonelier than ever!!! #I don’t want to spend time with my ‘friends’ bc none of them get along and there’s always stupid drama!!! #id rather be alone than feel lonely in a room full of ppl on my special bday but I also don’t want to literally be alone and do nothing!!!! #I am throwing a fit #I love my bf to death he is so perfect but I miss having a solid group of friends #like we’ve all drifted it’s all forced and no one’s happy #and I am the only mature one who is willing to grow it is EXHAUSTING AHHHH #tbh im just rly upset bc it just hit me like a train how lonely I am lol #I guess that’s normal for 25 right? that’s just adulthood I guess? #god #I have outgrown my town and everyone in it! and I am tired of feeling trapped here! #and I am tired of being too nice for other ppls benefit! when is it my turn to have all the attention on me for once???? #personal

[mbat]

im never going to not utterly adore the trope of eyes reflecting someones emotional state tbh. eye color, eyes glowing, hell, even something as human as pupil size, but especially if it expands past the limits of humanity and goes like how cats eyes go soo big lol. physical form changing inhumanly to reflect ones emotional state going out of their control is just so. mmm thats so delicious

#tropes #so i sound weird saying it like this? im just sick of pretending its not one of the best tropes out there okay #INHUMAN EYES ARE ALREADY SO COOL BUT THEN THEY DO THAT AND ITS LIKE!!!!! THATS SO FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!! #points at crowleys eyes going full snakey when hes scared. MORE OF THAT!!!!!!!! #dude my j. ghost has it too. his eye color changes to reflect how happy or upset he is. no one can stop me damnit #my post #ITS ALSO COOL IF ITS MORE THAN JUST EYES BUT THE EYES ESPECIALLY. #like someones whole body practically falling apart because theyre so upset that its overwhelming. dude thats so fun #DO I EVEN MAKE SENSE #idk but im having fun #its not enough for someone to start crying. if you dont start looking less and less human whats the point /j #also not technically emotional state but someones eyes glowing really bright the more powerful they are. duuuuude #are you getting the vision. are you seeing what i see #i just woke up and im rly hungry so im just like. saying shit tbh ok

[skrunksthatwunk]

not rascal's deadbeat owner coming around when im not home and telling my roommate she's taking him for a week (our break is 4 weeks or so, implying he's gonna be back here even though That's Her Cat Not Ours) and then just picking up the new toys i bought for him and taking them with her without even asking. hey. hi. those are mine

#like yes i want rascal to use them so he can be happy and fulfilled but also i dont fucking trust you #she didnt even ask. i wasnt even AROUND and she just yoinked them #she also took the new litter box my roomie got for him bc the old one was so caked in shit that 20 mins in a powerful sink didnt even #change it. like bedrock-hard cat shit. who fucking knows how old that was bc they never clean or empty it. fucks sake #and obv he needs a litter box and my roomie threw the old one away bc again it was Unsalvageably And Hazardously Filthy #like we could get sick he could get sick. get a grip #but like i dont wanna be feeding her replacements for her stuff she doesn't take care of over and over #just burning money trying to make rascal's life a Little better bc again our control over his situation is limited bc hes literally her cat #it's so frustrating. like i waited a full month to get him new toys bc i didn't know how long this situation was gonna last and i dont have #cats and cant have them for a while (not that this is stopping me oops) so it's not like the toys'll be used w me #like if she decided to up and drop him at a shelter like she'd planned less than a couple months ago I'd be sittjng in a pile of cat stuff #but he needs more stuff yknow. theyre not providing for him and i have the means to atm. and just when i bite the bullet and surprise him #with a bunch of new things he was SO excited about she swoops in without warning and takes him #god. my roommate told me he just froze up when his owner came in..and he looked so pissed about it #having to go back and leave us and leave all his fun new stuff to go back to the room where they cant even bother to feed him regularly #much less play with him or take care of him #it's heartbreaking. it's such a delicate situation im trying to move carefully so we don't lose him completely but it's so frustrating going #slow. ughhghhgh AND THEYRE ALWAYS LIKE man he's so much nicer to y'all. MAYBE IT'S BC WE TREAT HIM WELL. CRAZY THOUGHT I KNOW #fucking. i love that little man this sucks for him so bad. trying to get him back for a couple days while im here but no response yet #and my roommate's staying on campus over break so she's gonna show up as soon as that week's over like I'm Here For Rascal. Your Time Is Up. #rauguhhhhh sorry if these rascal vent posts are a downer guys. it's just. god dude. fucking hell #i know this is a stupid situation i have gotten myself into i know it's stupid to try and finagle someone's pet from them BUT SHES ABUSIVE #AND SUPER LIKE. INDIFFERENT?? AND APATHETIC ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT THE PPL SHE DUMPS HIM ON CARE FOR HIM WELL OR NOT. AGH #sighhhh. whatever. gotta focus on tmr's exam and then i can complain about rascal some more. #i get she prolly thinks it's a team effort but the only reason we take her stuff is bc we didn't have a cat and werent planning on it #ggggghhzgzzjzjkkzkzkkzkk. grinding my teeth

[semercury]

Happy to report that based on videos and posts there does not appear to be any phobia adjacent content in the new chapter!

#stuff sarah says #i was really worried tbh #now i can just be normal scared of a killer that MOVES FAST AND CAN AMBUSH AND HAS A SMALL TERROR RADIUS #LIKE THIS LOOKS FUCKING SICK IM SO HYPED!!!!! #but i was super worried they were gonna do uhhhhh how do i make this not show up in tags #i was worried about the things that hug faces... and stick a little guy in you #dont like that. too close to my phobia #but there is none of that and im so happy #ppl on r*ddit are mad theyre not in there #but everyone keeps being like it doesnt make sense + would just be another rbt mechanic #and no one wants that #gosh im watching someone play the ptb tho and im so excited this looks so fucking cool #genuinely... doing a pretty good job so far

[violetnaps]

havent talked to friendsin so long and im,,, overthibkig everything,,,,,

#cries. still ghosting uni friends AFTER being the one to reach out first #nd i feel so flaky for disappearing for months only to get so excited by bday plans for me but its just #i finally went Outside for the first time since... eid? and ive got one exam down so even if my study habits are still ass im #feeling Better about things #and it just sounds like im happy bc theyre celebrating my bday which. feels so insincere and lame bc a friends in town for the first time #in ages and i havent reached out to them and #i feel like im talking too much and being way too dramatic if i try to explain that #and i know they care theyre so generous with me like iwould be sick of me by now #but i just. aaaaaa 😭 #txt #no one look at me #vent

[orcelito]

i dont understand ppl being like "people died, now isn't time to push your politics 🥺" with regard to gun control like what the FUCK are you TALKING about????? When we have the 60th or so mass shooting of the year (midway through FEBRUARY) & the umpteenth school shooting, now is EXACTLY when we need to be discussing these things!!! But because you assholes have your 2nd amendment pride so far up your fucking ass that it's coming out of your mouths as Bull Shit, this keeps happening over and over and over and over and over again endlessly without ever fucking stopping because the blood of innocents is worth your fucking idealistic "we need guns to defend ourselves from the government" BULLSHIT. fuck OFF and i hope you choke on your fucking misguided American Pride.

#speculation nation #gun violence/ #no one on here is talking about the MSU shooting which is kinda baffling lmfao but whatever #i keep going on twitter to look at posts which is a mistake apparently bc im just getting so angry #fuck your 'thoughts and prayers' it's empty fucking platitudes #if you really cared youd do smth about it. but nooo innocent americans have to be constantly butchered for the sake of your Guns #and the fact that some government officials literally wear rifle pins in support of the NRA. you make me Sick. #so like happy valentines day i guess. 3 more college kids have been murdered with 5 more in critical condition #bc gun obsessed americans refuse to ever let go of their pretty little murder weapons #this is why im not in a valentines day mood. im so deeply fucking angry.

[wazzuppy]

asking for death rn

#hhhhhhhnnn #sick and tired of finding out ppl i looked up to are horrible abd shitty #god maybe i just am too willing to give ppl the benefit of the doubt #like #sometimes i'll notice things and its like. it makes me uncomfortable. but i let it slide anyways #and i dont know WHY i do that #maybe im too trusting or maybe i just dont like thinking bad things abt ppl or maybe im just trying to protect myself #i wish i could just enjoy things guiltlessly but i think guilt is one of the only things i ever feel anymore #i hate the thought of something i enjoy and i hold a lot of dear memories with being controlled by bad ppl #but i want to still enjoy that thing bc its special to me and makes me happy #uuggghhh #i hate feeling this kinda conflict over things i like #it just makes me feel sick #tara says stuff #vent #ish #but #yeah #obligatory matt hargeaves is a shitty person ect ect #i dont have the energy to say more than that rn #i'll figure out how i want to approach eddsworld moving forward later #rn i just wanna listen to music and get all this negativity out of my system