#im on my masters and my professors are not teaching me!!

[plush-rabbit]

A/N: I can't come up with a title so,,,, yeah!! Anyways, I've had this saved in my drafts and I miss writing and even with spring break!! my professor still gives us homework. So, here I am. this is just a thing where like reader is an angel and falls and like it was gonna be a short series, but like,,, i never finish my series (except for ciays)

Word Count: 3.1K

-

You sit with a pit in your stomach. Your legs are causing the items on the table to shake, and you can't stop the dread that is looming over you, cold and heavy. There's a shift beside you, and a hand cups over your thigh, a feeble attempt to get you to stop moving. You can only flinch in response. 

“Can you just- I don’t know, fucking chill or something?” His hand gives you a squeeze, before pulling back and crossing his arms. “They aren’t gonna do shit to you.”

“Lucifer fell because he asked too many questions,” you counter, gasping for breath. The room feels too tight, too full and empty all at once.

Beside you, he scoffs. “Love to break it to ya babe, but you aren’t him. You’ll be fine.”

“Exactly,” you hiss, hiding your face in your hands. “I’m not him. I’m- I’m a low ranking Angel. I- Oh Father, I don’t hold any type of status. I’m going to fall,” you voice breaks and tears are in your eyes, horror and fear making you pale.

“You’re not.” He’s harsher this time, and pulls you to look at him. His name is on your tongue, and he interrupts you. “I’m vouching for you. And so are the rest of my girls. You’ll be fine.” He loosens his grip on you, and smooths a hand down your hair. “Chillax, babe. I know you’re a little goody-two-shoes, but this is nothing. You’ll probably just get demoted or some shit.”

“Adam.” Your hands grasps onto his, and you want to believe that he’s right. “But what if-”

The door opens, and you both whip your head around, watching as Seraphim walks in, her head held high and face lack of expression. The pit in your stomach swallows more of you.

Your rise from your seat, and Adam begrudgingly follows. “Sera-” you clear your throat- “I uh- Seraphim. Good evening. I- I thought we were not allowed to meet before the trial,” you look around the room, and for a moment, you have hope. She wouldn’t go against orders, so perhaps she’s here with good news. You give her a tense smile, and she walks to the desk, her wings taut and folded behind her. 

She sits at the chair with her arms folded over the desk. “I wanted to be the one to deliver the verdict.”

Your brows furrow, and sit back down, your ankles crossed over one another, and your body leaning towards Adam’s. His hands reach over the space between the chairs and you grasp onto him, nails digging into the clothed covered skin. 

“The verdict?” You ask in a whisper. “But I hadn’t- What about my trial?”

“It was decided that you would not have a trial.” Her voice is like stone, unwavering, strong, and heavy. 

“Decided by who?” A chill runs down your spine, and it’s as if you can feel a presence around you.

“If there’s no trial then how do fuck do you all even have a verdict?” Adam, as always, is crude, and it only furthers the sickness deep in you.

“Adam,” you say in a high pitched voice. 

He turns to you, and squeezes your hands. “Well? What is it? Community service? A demotion in rank? Paperwork?”

“Sera,” your chest is tight, your bones pricing into the tender flesh, “why didn’t I have a trial?”

“Look, the demotion can’t be that bad, right? I’ll look after them. Make them my assistant or something. I got shitload to do anyways, they’ll keep me on it.”

“Sera,” you plead, “I was promised a trial. I was told that it would be fair.”

“No trial is good, right? Means it was easy to consider your fate.” You flinch. “You get to be my assistant. Don’t worry babe-” he tugs on your hands for your attention, but you’re fixated on Seraphim and that way that they look at you with somber eyes- “I won’t work you too hard.” The playful tinged words make you sick. 

“Sera,” you croak, leaning away from Adam- “my trial. It was promised.”

She calls your name, it’s whispered like a prayer, uttered like a curse and laced in sorrow. You know your outcome, before she can even say it. “I’m terribly sorry.” Your body goes cold. “It has been decided that your punishment for questioning the beliefs and practices of Heaven will be the taking of your wings and The Fall to Hell.”

You can taste the bile. It burns, the acid fills your mouth, and it makes your eyes burn with hot tears. 

“What the fuck!” Adam shouts, your hands are let go, and you stare into her eyes. You can hear the chair squeak as it’s pushed away and it nearly topples over. Adam goes to you, short strides to grasp his hands over your shoulders. “That isn’t fucking fair! They were promised a trial, so where the fuck is it?” He’s furious, and the hands around you bring you no comfort. 

“I’m terribly sorry.” Seraphim looks at you as she speaks. “For the both of you.” Her eyes dart between you and Adam.

“I didn't mean to,” you whisper, your nails digging into your clothes. “I promise that I-”

“Come on Sera! I've done worse shit than them. Can't we just look the other way?”

“Adam, I need to speak to them alone.”

“Like fuck I’ll-”

“Adam,” you breathe out. He looks at you, moving to kneel in front of you and you look at the demonic mask, and you want to retch. “Let us speak in private, please. I’ll meet you outside.”

He looks at you, through the golden eyes of the mask. “Fine,” he huffs. He stands, and presses a kiss to the top of your temple. You wish that you could return the gesture- that you could look up and kiss him back without worry. “Yell if you need me,” he whispers to you. You nod, unable to mutter a word to him.

The door clicks behind him, and you’re left alone with Seraphim- something that you’ve never had the opportunity to experience. Perhaps if circumstances were different, you’d be more ecstatic. 

They call your name, and she holds her hands out to you. Like a trained dog, you place your hands in hers, and you let the tears fall.

“Why am I falling?” You ask, gaining no comfort from her hands.

“Emily- one of the younger Seraphim- has begun to question certain aspects of Heaven. I fear that the questions won't settle.”

“So this is- I’m meant to scare her? To remind her of her place?”

Seraphim sighs, and she lifts a hand, tracing a delicate finger along the back of your hand. You hate the ways he says your name- like she still cares for you. Like your name is sweet as honey. As if she has the right to speak to you with care and love. “You must understand that Emily is still so young.”

“And a higher ranking than I am.” You turn away from her, but you can’t pry your hands away. You want comfort, even if it's given by your judge and even if the hands that hold yours are going to be stained in gold. They say nothing to your comment, and you hold their hand tighter. “When?” You croak out.You dig your nails into their skin- it’s cold, and as much as you want to hurt them, you cannot.

“By the end of the week.” Their words are spoken without wavering. “You’ll be confined in one of our holding rooms for incoming souls for the time being. You’ll still be allowed visitors. The spectacle will be watched by only those that you allow, and by the high-ranking angels.” You let out a sob, and bow your head. “It will be quick. With the ranking unbeknownst to the rest, it will be an Exterminator who will remove your wings. They’ll be wearing one of the ceremonial robes. After the removal of your wings, you’ll be-” she pauses and you can already feel the emptiness.

“I’ll be cast out.” You look up and she nods, her hands squeezing yours. 

“Understand that if I could will it any other way, I would.” 

You look at the hands holding onto yours, and you think about how someone will have to clean your blood. How they’ll get on their knees and wipe the ichor from the floor, how the rags will drip in riches and stain their hands in sin. Your wings flitter in response. 

“You said an Exterminator?”

“Lute has been tasked with your severance.”

“Why not Adam?”

Seraphim looks shocked. “I- I would not wish for him to be the one to remove your wings. If it were any other, I believe he would do an excellent job, but since it’s you,” she trails off. “I do not believe he would be able to commit.”

“But Lute can,” you say.

“Yes. She is able to put her feelings aside, and do her job.” Seraphim pauses, their eyes are trained on you, and a few look at you in pity. “However, if you wish for it to be Adam-”

“No,” you interrupt. “No, you’re right. He wouldn’t be able to.” Your wings feel heavy. “Sera?” She hums in response. “How soon will I be cast out after my wings are removed?”

“Effective immediately.”

-

You lay in your new bed- the mattress new and solid underneath you. It’s nothing like the one back home. You can’t seem to get comfortable, all that you can do is lay there wrapped in Adam’s arms, pulled close to his body where your breath tickles at his skin. “You can run,” he says quietly into your ear. “I’ll leave the door unlocked, and you can run.” His act of defiance brings tears to your eyes. 

“Adam,” your voice breaks.

“The Exterminators will be the ones tasked with chasing you down.” You feel the way his hands grip your skin, clawing and desperate to keep you beside him. “They won’t get you. They’re loyal to me. They’ll listen. You can live on Earth.” 

When you close your eyes, tears trace down the curve of your face. “Lute is the one performing the severance of my wings,” you tell him a hoarse whisper, unable to keep the horror out of it. Even speaking about it is enough to send a pain down your spine and at the base of your wings. His nails pierce into your skin, pinching into the softness of your stomach. His wings flutter, and they are heavy above your body. “She’ll do a good job,” you comfort. “A clean cut that will make it easy to heal.” There’s bile burning in your throat. “Please don’t be upset with her after the event.” His arms wrap tighter around you, and his wings hide you from the outside, curving over your body, cupping you and holding you. Your hands hold onto him, at the nape of his neck, trying not to look at him, but commit his touch to memory. “I don’t think you should be there.”

“Like fuck I won’t,” he seethes, the venom in his words are unable to hide the tremor. 

“Adam,” you murmur, “I’m serious. I- You shouldn’t see me like that. I- I know that I would look for you after it happened. I- I can’t ask for you to see me so broken.”

“I’m going,” he tells you in a tight voice, his breaths coming out in gasps.

You nod, and swallow the pit lodged in your throat. “Please don’t stop it.” He whispers your name, and lets you go, coming up to a sitting position. His wings still stretched, touching you so gently. You look up at him, tear stains glistening on your cheeks. “This is my fault. I’ve accepted it. I know I’m going to plead and cry for mercy, but ignore me, Adam.” Your hands find his, and you hold onto him desperately. “Don’t fight for me. Let it happen.”

“You should run away,” he tells you again. “We can run together.” Tears glisten in his eyes, and you don’t recall ever seeing him so upset. 

You smile, but it trembles and falls, and tears spill out. “Where would we go?” You ask in a quiet voice. 

“Earth.” His jaw tightens, and you don’t comment when his voice cracks. “We’d take a bunch of gems from here and sell them there. We’d be rich.” You try not to let the quaking in your chest show, the soft stuttering that threatens to release a storm. “We’d sing in some dingy ass club, and I’d use my blessing to make us famous.”

You laugh, and it’s clouded by tears. “I thought we were in hiding?”

“We’d be in disguise,” he counters, a hand prying away from your grip to wipe away the tears. “We’d settle after a few years, get a nice house in a big city. Gamble, drink, fuck. Maybe have a few kids in like a hundred years.” He smiles when you turn your head to kiss his palm, your other hand going to curve over his. “We’d have a nice life.” He lays over you, hiding his face into the crook of your neck, and presses his lips to the warmth of your skin when your hands tangle themselves into his hair. “It’s a nice plan, right?”

“Of course,” you say through tears. “You always come up with good plans.”

-

You stand in a stadium, dressed in white, your back exposed and your wings fluttering about no matter how much you will them to still. No one fears that you are going to run. Not when there are archers lined, and not when the Angels are watching you. You see Adam, and he wears his mask, standing with his arms held behind him. 

You wish you told Seraphim that he wasn’t allowed. 

Chains bind your ankles and wrists. The iron pinching your skin and irritating the flesh. You’d take this pain a thousand times over than what’s about to happen. 

“For questioning Heaven’s beliefs and practices,” the voice echoes around, “we sentence you,” your name sounds empty, and you can’t breathe, “to have your wings removed and to be banished from Heaven.” You do a stupid thing and glance at Adam and he looks away at your glance. You feel a tinge of pain, but it’s better this way. “You will now have your wings removed.”

You turn your head, and see Lute. She’s shrouded in white robes with gold accents. Her hair is tied, and her wings are pinned behind her. She does not cast you on any type of look and you're grateful for that.

Her gaze is steeled. You know her. She knows you. She’s seen you at your worst, and you’ve seen her at her best. You’ve shared meals with her- broken bread and drank wine together. She’s been in your home. Her smile has always been sharp, and there are moments where it’s tender, vulnerable and saved for those closest to her. 

She does not smile at you. She keeps her gaze focused on you, and you can’t help but tremble, the iron of the chains clinking together. You look away, and you’re grateful you had nothing to eat the morning of. You were grateful you were not given the choice of a last meal. 

“On your knees,” Lute tells you in a strained voice. 

You hope Adam won’t be mad at her. You hope that if he  is, that she can take it.

You flinch at the chill touch of the sword. Your wings flutter, and you bite your tongue. You should make your case once more. You shouldn’t be here. You only asked a simple question. This shouldn’t be happening. You shouldn’t be here. There’s a point against your back. You look up and find Adam. You need him to save you. You can run away with him. You’ll live the life he wanted. You’d do anything. You’d be his. You yelp as something sharp cuts into you. You’d never disobey Heaven again. You’ll never ask again. You’ll be content. Please, Father, you’ll be good.

“Stay still,” she says, breathing out the last word in a plea, and when you cannot, she’s forced to continue. 

The tearing is a sharp pain. One that makes you writhe and scream, your throat raw and the sounds unbearably loud. Every twist and turn only further aggravates the wound, skin pulling and muscles bare for the Angels to see. Warmth runs down your back, caressing the small part of your back and spilling onto your legs and thighs. Your hands slam into the ground, clawing at the porcelain floor. Through tears, you can liquid gold, shining and shimmering.

The cool air is agony against your open wounds. You’re warm, and wet, and the final strip of skin is pulled away from you. The heaviness of your wings are gone from you, and crane your neck to see them land with a heavy ‘thud’ away from you. The base of the ivory feathers are drenched in gold, and you can only think about the misery you’re in, and you reach for them. You need them back, you want them back. You’d sew them onto yourself if you could, but you can’t leave them here.

Your eyes glance around, wide and horrified, searching the crowd, and you roll onto your back, screaming once more, and calling for Father, your eyes landing on Adam. Legs block your view, and heavy hands lift you, pulling on your arm, and stretching the raw muscle. 

You can hear someone, but your own screams overpower the other, and for a moment, you’re in the air, lifted and unable to breathe, until gravity pulls you down.

It’s a searing pain. It burns your skin and the whips of air slash against your back and body. You’re beaten and battered, carried by the air of Hell, and your screams only echo around you. The ground is unforgiving, a crater forming around you as you land. Gravel and sticks push against your skin. Your body lays crumpled on the floor, limbs twisted around each other, and your body is a mix of gold and dirt. 

Weeds twist into your hair, and the stench of Hell makes you retch. You cry on the ground, alone and numb. There is no Father here; there is no warmth for you here. In a shay breath, with your hands clawing at the dirt, you wish for death. You wish for the demons to pry you apart and for your body to never recover. 

-

And far away, tucked away in his castle, eyes looking up at the heavens, Lucifer sees a shooting star streak across the sky, and his heart drops. 

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #adam x reader #hh adam x reader #hazbin adam x reader #i got a few messages for my spot series so i wanna continue that #especially since i had a line i really wanted to use in my cookies and cream one #i also really wanted to finish the ghostface one #but like idk #i had like three different endings planned for it #and then there was the iwthysi with shigaraki #and like is it cringe?? #yes #but i love him #anyways #im on my masters and my professors are not teaching me!! #like how are you going to preach about professionalism and not respond to emails #anyways love you bye!! #also shout out to ciays mention!! #woo!!

[simple-and-cozy-life]

I've been so stressed from the changes happening in my life that I forgot that, even though this is going to suck, God is going to get me through this transitional time. Eventually, I will have the stability that I need and I will have a family.

Life will persist and so must I.

#ive been very very stressed #i dont like that im not going to be a school teacher for two years #even though i will ve teaching college #i wont have a stable income #ill have a job to get me through grad school #but nothing like my teaching job with benefits #my boyfriend is supportive though #we'll make it through #itll be ok #today is a tough day because its the last full day of school #i want to jump ahead when i have a family and all is well #and life is predictable again #and stable #but this will be an excellent opportunity and i will accomplish so much #im going to get a masters in music #and maybe one day get my doctorate #plus ill be by my boyfriend's family so thats ok #and ill have roommates #my new apartment seems nice too #just gotta keep going and itll be ok #and manage my stress better #catholic #grad school #i am going to get my ass handed to me in the first semester of grad school though #this professor is very kind and welcoming and she thinks the world of me so ill be taken care of #i must try #and itll be ok

[nevoeiross]

grades in art school and art degrees are infact all fake after all

#tell me how do i get a 14 after going above and behond on this fucking class #the professor has me talk to people in masters programs almost every week to teach them stuff that was her job #i do the last leg of this class sick off my ass with a breathing infection #and then people who barely showed up to classes get 16s and 17s #i really am not cut out for this bullshit #this is why the art scene is a fucking joke and no one takes us seriously #honestly i dont think we deserve to be taken seriously #bc for a lot of people with rich papis this is honestly just summer camp before they go die of overdoses when they get their degrees #bc lets face it half this people havent even tealised what the fuck is real life let alone how to live without someone doung everything #for them #whatever call me bitter if you want i dont care anymore #cant wait to finish this 4 year expensive lie and change what im studying in my masters

[nicksolemnlyswears]

THE MENTOR

summary: coriolanus takes it upon himself to show you the ropes of pleasure

pairing: young! coriolanus snow x capitol! reader

word count: 4.3k

warnings: 18+, smut, cursing, fingering, female masturbation, mention of male masturbation, breast play, talks of virginity loss, perv! coriolanus, slight cum play, corruption kink is very prominent LEAVE ME ALONE IM PREDICTABLE, MY MIND IS ROTTEN

a/n: i'm back again! didn't expect it to be so soon but alas i cannot control myself. this can be read as a stand alone or as a prequel for my other one shot ways to destress. i'm working on part 2 for ways to destress but have this while i finish it <3

requests open ✨

Coriolanus steals glances at you from his spot on the desk. You sat cross-legged on your bed, deep in thought, biting the eraser end of the pencil in your fingers. He's formulating ideas about you instead of focusing on the report he has to present to Dr. Gaul tomorrow.

It's the first time you've invited him into your family home since you became a couple four months ago, and you're all alone in the big mansion. He can't help but wonder if anything will come out of it.

Despite being in a serious relationship for four months, Coriolanus has only kissed you. Nothing more and nothing less. It was one of your conditions because he's your first boyfriend.

'Let's take things slow, Coriolanus,' you had said back then, looking at him with those puppy dog eyes you'd mastered.

You're a timid girl. It's why you've never truly had a boyfriend before. None of the other boys you've been on dates managed to coax you out of your shell enough for them to pursue the relationship, except for Coriolanus. He took his time with you, becoming your friend, gaining your trust, and finally asking you out.

It wasn't by chance that he took that route to court you. He's been watching you since you stepped into the classroom last year. The annoyance he felt about being a teaching assistant swept away as a brand new opportunity sat in front of the class like a good student.

He recognized you and the crest on the gold ring you always wear. Your family is wealthy, and they have a great reputation amongst the Capitol's elite. It would benefit him to associate himself with you and, by proxy, your family.

Coriolanus felt luck was on his side when you approached him with questions about the homework the Professor handed out. You served yourself in a silver dish platter for his hungry ambition.

One year later, he has you wrapped around his little finger.

He'd be lying if he said he doesn't have feelings for you. Just as he infiltrated your life, you infiltrated his heart. You're sweet and kind, book smart, and beautiful. He'd be a fool not to feel anything towards you.

When you groan about the essay you're supposed to write and the crease between your eyebrows deepens, Coriolanus steps in.

"It's time for a break, don't you think?" He gently asks, closing your notebook and putting it to the side.

"I guess," you sigh, looking up at him with a pout.

You've been distracting yourself from Coryo's penetrating gaze and general presence in your personal space. You had invited him with the pretense of a study date, seeing as your body asks for something else.

It's time you give Coryo more. He's been incredibly patient with you, just as you'd asked. Still, your heart pounds in your chest at the thought of him touching you like no one ever has, and the knot in your throat prevents you from saying it out loud.

Coriolanus sits on the bed with you, cupping your jaw in his hands, brushing his thumb across your cheek. You lean into his touch with a soft smile, leaning into your body's desire, and you kiss him. It's enough to spark the salacious thoughts in Coriolanus's head.

He deepens the kiss by swiping his tongue on your plump bottom lip, begging you to let him in. Just like he taught you, you open your mouth, letting his tongue lick the inside of your mouth, tasting the cherry drink you love so much.

The corners of Coriolanus's lips slightly curve upwards; he's so proud of himself and you. You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him towards you, and he willingly leans into you, hugging your hips.

Finding the position mildly uncomfortable, he lifts you to straddle his lap. Immediately, you tense under his hold and pull back. It's instinctual as your thoughts suddenly surface and cause you to overthink.

"Are you alright?" Coriolanus asks you with feigned concern. He knows the reason why, but you're important to him. In his eyes, you're perfect for him, and he doesn't want to screw things up.

"I'm just nervous," you admit, diverting your gaze to his collar and fixing it.

You're tired of feeling behind in life when your friends talk about sex. You're tired of that ache inside you that you can't satiate. You're tired of pulling away each time Coryo makes any move on you when all you want is to feel his skin against yours.

It's only been a few months, but your feelings for Coriolanus Snow run deep. Many will call you a fool for falling into the claws of first love, but it's a mistake you must make on your own.

If anyone is to take your firsts, it'll be Coriolanus.

"Do you want me to stop touching you?" He asks, loosening his hold on you.

Coriolanus is ready to learn the extent of your inexperience. It's been a topic you've only briefly touched upon. Yes, you're a virgin. Has anyone touched you, though, or given you any sort of pleasure?

"No!" You exclaim too forwardly, embarrassing yourself. It spurs Coriolanus, though, as he softly grins. "I mean, no. This is okay. You can keep touching me," you say as you return his hand to its designated spot in the curve of your hips.

"Darling…" he calls, but your gaze remains on his chest as strands of hair cover your face, "Look at me."

When your eyes meet his steely blue ones, he continues, "Have you ever touched yourself?"

"Why are you asking me this?" You ask with your eyes wide and nervous.

"I just want to see how much you know and how far you want to go. I'd feel terrible if I somehow make you uncomfortable or force you into anything you don't want," he responds honestly. Keeping you close to him is his priority, and if controlling his urges is necessary, then be it.

"Oh…" you sigh. You close your eyes tightly before opening them again and responding, "Yes, I do."

"Tell me how," he says. It's not really a question but a command.

Your face burns as you disclose information that is normally private, "I, um, touch my clit."

"I see," Coriolanus nods encouragingly, squeezing your hips, "Do you think about me?" He asks teasingly, giving you a hard time.

The more he asks, the more you relax onto his body, too stuck in your head to notice.

"Sometimes," you admit with a soft smile.

Coriolanus is satisfied with your answer for now. In the future, when he asks again, he needs the answer for it to be always. He'll be halfway there by the end of the 'study date.'

"Has anybody touched you before?" It's the one question he's been most curious about.

"No," you shake your head.

Coriolanus is over the moon. His thoughts get more and more deranged with your confession as his dark side begs him to take away your innocence and corrupt you to his liking.

"Would you like me to?" He asks, grasping her jaw with two fingers to force her wandering eyes to settle on his. He hasn't even touched you properly, and you're breathing heavily. He wonders what's going on in that pretty little head of yours.

You're praising whatever god exists, thanking them for Coryo's forwardness. You don't think you could've gotten the words out otherwise.

"Yes," you answer shyly as excitement builds inside you.

With a short kiss, Coryo places you by the top of the bed, propped up by your many pillows. Your comfort is his top priority today. He wants you to come back for more, after all.

"Tell me if you want to stop," he whispers in your ear as he kisses your cheek.

Coriolanus feels your shaky breaths as he kisses down the expanse of your neck. He takes it as a good sign when you stretch it out more for him.

"Coryo," you bite back a moan when he finds your sweet spot.

He gently bites into your delicate skin, leaving a soft red mark. Coriolanus can't visibly mark you yet, or he'll cast a wrong impression on your father. So, he settles for red flowers that will disappear by morning.

His fingers expertly unbuttoned the crisp white blouse of the university's uniform. He lifts his head briefly to look at the pale pink bra that deprives him of your breasts. It's pretty and innocent, like you.

"You're beautiful, darling," he says when he spots your nervous eyes waiting for his approval.

Dipping down once more, he mouths the mounds of your breasts, leaving wet kisses on your skin. Coriolanus wraps his mouth over the cups of your bra, teasing you, introducing you to his touch.

Sitting up, he helps you shrug off the white blouse. He kisses you to distract you from his hands that wrap around you, unclasping the bra. He's pleasantly surprised with the neediness you kiss him with. Poor thing must've been wanting this for a while.

Coriolanus pushes you back down with his weight, never breaking the kiss. He slides your bra off and throws it into a corner of the room. Pulling away, he looks at your bare chest, licking his lips lustfully.

You deprive him of the sight when you insecurely cross your arms to cover yourself. It peeves Coriolanus to no end. Surely, you must know what a sight you are.

"Don't cover yourself, darling. You're beautiful," he says, grabbing one of her hands and kissing her palm.

"T-thank you," you stutter out, letting your other arm fall to the side.

Coriolanus finds it precious how polite you are to him. How compliant you act with a couple of kind words from him. That's just how he likes it.

Coriolanus begins with a simple touch. He traces a path down your neck with the pad of his finger, trailing it across your skin and up the swell of your breasts. He circles the stiffening peak of your nipple, giving it a cheeky tug.

He's happy with the moan that falls from your lips despite him barely doing anything. Taking it up another notch, he leans his head down to latch onto your nipple, the fat of your breast filling his mouth.

Coriolanus releases a moan of his own as his tongue flicks over your nipple, and you arch your back into it. However, he's unhappy with the lack of contact from you.

Reaching for one of your hands, he places it on the back of his head, urging you to touch him. This is only fun if you want to touch him as much as he wants to touch you.

One hand digs into his hair, and the other wraps around his back. Coriolanus goes back and forth between one breast and the other, incorporating new things for you. Kissing, sucking, pinching, squeezing, biting. He's confident he's made the right choice with you when you respond beautifully to one of his bites.

"Yes, Coryo, more," you whine and beg when he tugs on your nipple with his teeth. For that, he leaves a pretty purple bruise on your chest. A reward for himself.

"That's it, darling. Don't hold your pretty moans from me any longer," Coriolanus purrs, finding your red-bitten lips.

Coriolanus involuntarily ruts into you when you slip your tongue into his mouth. His girl was turning bolder by the minute; all she needed was to be touched.

No one can shake the innocence off you as you moan and widen your eyes when you feel his hard cock press into you. Coriolanus is straining against his trousers and has been for a while now. This whole situation is a fantasy come to life and it makes him throb.

He must control himself. He cares about you greatly, and with that level of care comes control. Control over himself and you. Three years ago, he failed to control himself, and he failed to control Lucy Gray. He can't afford to make the same mistake. There is more at stake now.

Realistically, Coryo has barely touched you, and you're a needy mess. There is heat coursing through your body that is settling in between your legs. Your panties stick to you with your arousal, making you fidgety.

Reminds you of your clenched thighs whenever he's near. How you've abused your clit thinking about Coriolanus and his affectionate ways that are reserved solely for you.

"Coryo, please," you beg, cupping his face in your hands.

"Tell me what you want," Coriolanus pointedly says. He enjoys your innocence, but he wants to taint it so desperately. He needs to hear you talk dirty words in his ear.

"Touch me," you say, pressing your lips against his.

Coriolanus keeps his hands firmly on your waist, not giving into your pleas until you speak clearly, "Where do you want me to touch you, darling?"

"Please, touch my-my cunt," you stutter your words as your face burns again. You hide your face in his neck, brushing your lips delicately against it.

You're the complete opposite of him. Soft when he's rough. Innocent when he's wicked. Quiet when he's outspoken. What a perfect pair you make.

You gasp when he feels you through your wet panties. Coriolanus traces up and down your covered slit, teasing you. You're moaning into his neck, his foreign touch overwhelming you.

With a kiss to your temple, Coriolanus sits up between your spread thighs. He lifts your skirt, bunching it on your middle, preferring to leave it on your body. Your center is exposed to him, the wet patch on your matching panties clearly visible to his eyes.

You watch him as he bites his lips and rubs his hands up and down your thighs. He's preparing, reminding himself to keep his shit together. If it were up to him, he'd be fucking you silly.

"Let's take these off, yeah?" Coriolanus slips your ruined panties off your legs without waiting for your response. He kisses up your ankle to your knee as he settles between your thighs.

Your thigh is next as he nears your wet center. Your arousal glistens as it clings to your pussy lips. You look down at Coryo, propped up on your elbows.

"Darling, why don't you show me how you do it?" He asks, amused.

When you make no move, he grabs your hand and places it between your legs, encouraging you, "It's just you and I."

"Okay, Coryo," you whisper.

Biting your lips, you press your middle finger on your pink pearl. It's still safely hidden between your lips. Coriolanus observes how your cunt reacts to you circling your clit. Thick clear liquid drips from your opening, and he catches how you gather some of it to spread on your reddening clit.

The closer you get to your peak, the faster you go, your index finger joining your middle finger as you broaden your movements. Your head is thrown back with whines that join the 'shlick, shlick, shlick' of your wet cunt.

Coriolanus forces himself out of his trance of seeing you play with yourself from up close. He hadn't caught himself talking you through it, speaking lewd words to make you cum. Quick as a snake, he grabs your wrist to stop you.

"Coryo, no. Why'd you make me stop?" You whine, lifting your head back up.

"I'm not done with you just yet," he responds sternly, releasing your wrist. Today you'll only cum around his fingers.

"Oh?"

Coriolanus dips his finger between the lips of your cunt, gathering your arousal in his finger. He's finally touching you like you asked. He taps on your clit that's peeking out of its hood, making you lightly flinch at the suddenly burst of pleasure.

"Have you ever fingered yourself?" He shamelessly asks before he attempts to slip a finger into you.

"No, it feels uncomfortable," you respond, figuring out where this is going.

Coriolanus holds back a smile. It's like he'd won the lottery and gained this beautiful, pure creature, untouched by anyone. You're his to taint to his image so you always remember his touch.

"Will you let me give it a try?" He pretends to ask. If you say no, he'll still try to convince you.

"Mhm," you hum, "Be gentle."

"Always," Coriolanus quips, locking eyes with you.

Coriolanus coats his middle finger with your arousal before he pushes his finger in. He circles your clit to get you to relax due to your constant tense state.

"I need you to relax for me," he speaks up, kissing the inside of her thigh. Taking a couple of deep breaths, you finally soften, "There we go, princess."

Coriolanus distracts you by swiping his fingers up and down your slit, so you don't know when he plans to slip it in. Finally, his middle finger dips into your opening, parting your walls. "So fucking tight," he groans when he finds your walls want to push him right out.

You let out a shaky gasp when you feel his long finger breach your entrance. It's been years since you last tried. It doesn't hurt, to your surprise, but there is a particular feeling of your cunt accommodating his finger.

"I'm sorry," you quickly apologize, biting onto the back of your hand when he tentatively starts pushing his finger in and out.

"It's nothing to be sorry about. It's a good thing," he reassures you. His cock will feel so snug when he fucks you for the first time. He's hit a gold mine with you.

Your walls squeeze his finger like a vice, and he finds himself reminding you to try and relax. Carefully he pumps his finger in and out, light clicking noises coming from the wetness of his finger and your cunt.

Slowly your expression of discomfort morphs into one of pleasure, aided by his thumb on your clit. Curving his finger, Coriolanus searches for that spot inside of you. He knows he's got it when you moan out his name and fall back on the bed, grabbing an old teddy bear from your bed and biting into it. You're dripping on his hand.

It's so much he debates on adding another finger. He has to be careful, though. You're so tight, and he wishes to reserve the thin barrier of your innocence for his cock to push through. There's no doubt it'll tear with the size of his cock.

A token of that much value should be taken properly and not in a flurry of lust. Girls like you have been taught to take care of it until the right man comes along and Coriolanus is confident you feel that way toward him.

God, his cock is so fucking hard. He must be leaking pre. Desperately, Coriolanus rolls his hips on your mattress to relieve some of the tension. This is your doing, and you're not aware of how much you're torturing him.

Coriolanus tries to push his pointer finger into your cunt, but it proves difficult, especially when you flinch away and grab his wrist to stop him.

"Stop, it hurts, Coriolanus," you cry and try to wiggle away. One finger is enough for you. It's far more than you could ever do on your own.

But Coriolanus doesn't like being told what to do, and he hates it, especially when people he considers close call him by his full name.

"I'm sorry, darling. I'll be gentle, but you have to let me if you ever want to take my cock," Coriolanus reminds you sweetly.

"Promise me," you say with a blush caused by his crude words. He's right. After today, you'll surely want him to go all the way with you, and neither will have the patience to go as slowly as today.

"I promise. Here, bend your legs. It should be better." Coriolanus arranges you in such a way were your pretty cunt is fully exposed to him, spreading to reveal your pink and tight opening. He kneels between your legs, rubbing your clit. "Remember to relax."

Coriolanus starts all over again, circling your pretty clit and fucking one finger into you. Once you close your eyes, losing yourself in the pleasure, he grabs hold of your thigh to keep you in place and pushes the tip of his second finger.

He ignores your complaints and rubs your clit more furiously, subduing your pain and replacing it with toe-curling pleasure. He thrusts shallowly until your cunt gives way for him to slip the two fingers entirely.

"Good girl, see, that wasn't so bad," he says in a slightly mocking tone you don't catch.

"Thank you, Coryo," you moan as your hand reaches to the one on your thigh.

Fuck, you sure know how to feed into his ego. He's heard that phrase so many times when he helps you with your homework. How will he keep his cock in his pants when you say that to him in the university library?

He fucks you steadily with his fingers adding a little force to make your tits jiggle. You hold onto the teddy bear, moaning softly. It's so easy to tell when you're about to cum like this. Your walls squeeze him so tightly he believes you'll push him out.

"You're going to cum, darling?" Coriolanus asks you, pulling you out of your bubble.

"Yes," you sob. This orgasm feels so different from your other ones. Like it comes from deep within. Maybe it's the penetration of Coriolanus's fingers, or perhaps it's just him doing all the work that does it for you.

"Let me hear you," he spits out as he curls his fingers more, hitting the spongy spot inside of you over and over again till the sound of your juices squelching echoes in the room.

"Coryo, Coryo, Coryo," you gasp, repeating his name with a cry and holding tightly onto his free hand.

He keeps fucking you through your orgasm, his fingers and hand wet with your cum. You nudge him with your foot when it's too much, your words jumbled in your tongue.

You lay limp on the bed, body flushed and covered in a sheen of sweat. Your hair sticks to your forehead, and your skirt is wrinkled and skewed on your midsection. You believe you look like an outright mess, but to Coriolanus, you couldn't look more perfect than in that moment.

As he removes his fingers from your fluttering hole, a string of cum stretches between his fingers and your cunt. Impulsively, he brings them up to his lips to taste you.

"Coryo, no, what?" You pipe up, embarrassed.

"Mmm," he hums in pleasure. He's on the verge is saying fuck it and fucking you tonight. You taste so divine he wants to get in between your pretty thighs to clean you all up, "Have you never tasted yourself?"

"No, I've never thought to," you murmur, scrunching your nose.

"You taste good," Coryo says, plunging his fingers into you again, making you whine from oversensitivity. "Try it."

Not giving you a choice, he presses his index and middle fingers to your lips. You part them slowly, dipping your head to take them into your mouth. The ring on Coriolanus's middle finger clicks against your teeth. You look at Coryo as you suck them, searching for his approval.

"Good, right?" He asks when he pulls his fingers back.

You shyly nod, surprised by your behavior. Your trust in Coryo is so immense that you don't question his actions. Anything he'd ask you would do.

Coriolanus smiles widely, cupping your face to kiss you. He's proud of you and of your progress today. He's happy to have someone to mold to his needs as well.

He's complacent at the moment, seeing you act shy, and he has no problem being delicate, either. Still, a part of him can't wait to have you in his grasp to properly bite and squeeze and spank to his desires. To have you teetering on the edge of pain and pleasure along with him.

"Coryo?" You call for him as he stands from the bed. You grab his hand, pulling him back down.

"Yes, darling? Is there something wrong?" Coriolanus questions, scanning your body for any discomfort.

"I want to…" You want to touch him. His hard-on is clearly visible on his red pants, and you would be a liar if you said you weren't curious as to how it looks.

"To what…" He wonders. You point down to his crotch, where you can make out the outline of his erection. "You want to suck my cock?"

"Yes, I want to make you feel good," you nod with your puppy dog eyes, and he has to will himself to say no. It's a difficult task when you're desperate to fall into his hands.

"My darling girl, don't worry about me. We'll get around to it another day. It's late," he softly chuckles, kissing your cheek. You've run out of time, soon your parents will be home. They probably don't want to find you being fucked by your boyfriend. "I promise you can help me next time, yeah?"

"Promise," you smile.

His eyes flicker to your lips to memorize them. He'll be sure to picture them tonight when he's fucking his fist. He thinks you'll be a good little cocksucker because of the way you eagerly sucked on his fingers earlier.

If not, he'll teach you.

Who knew he'd become a mentor of sorts once again.

*sips tea* thank you for reading! i really hope you liked it!

*starts choking on blood* damn it coriolanus, not again! before i go just know i'm working on ways to destress part 2! i will be back, this is not the end! *head thumps on the table*

#fanfiction #smut #coriolanus snow #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus x you #the hunger games #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #hunger games fanfiction #coriolanus snow fanfiction

[stem-sister-scuffle]

STEM SISTER SCUFFLE: ROUND 3 MASHUP 2

Ms. Frizzle (The Magic School Bus) vs Winry Rockbell (Full Metal Alchemist)

Ms. Frizzle is a Science Teacher!

Winry Rockbell is an Automail Mechanic!

Why you should vote for each contestant:

Ms. Frizzle:

"*gestures at entire magic school bus series*"

"Embodies the true spirit of scientific discovery: barely-contained chaos."

"She is very knowledgeable about a wide variety of sciences, and uses that knowledge to further the educations of many people. Teachers deserve the world; they do so much for so little in return. (shout out to Mrs. Goates)"

"She loves science and loves teaching kids about science. I love her. Idk I saw she only had one submission and that made me sad so now im here submitting her"

"She is an icon and has cool earrings"

"SHE'S SO COOL!!! She's so smart and so fun and genuinely just an icon. ALSO she has a little lizard on her shoulder. I saw an ask abt the submissions for Ms. Frizzle and the sender was the only person who submitted her.. I couldn't let this go. ALSO one of my professors irl called herself the irl Frizzle and she's a doctor of biology so make of that what you will"

Winry Rockbell:

"The best automail mechanic in the whole of Amestris: need I say more? She’s also the only person who can really get Edward Elric to listen / scare him"

"She's super smart and is crazy about mechanics, but she's also so kind and compassionate! She helped deliver a baby, she cares really deeply for her friends and family! She truly rocks!"

"i’m a biomedical engineer so she is the best women in stem"

"she’s extremely skilled and dedicated to her craft, her work is very high quality (she’s also the personal mechanic for one of the protagonists) and she has a dedication to improving the lives of the people around her in any way she can (and she has so much autism swag about automail, it’s a joy to watch). i love her your honour"

"She's so good and so fun and she's trying her best. She makes sure the prosthetics work and they're super plot important!!!!!"

"She can build and repair robot limbs AND attach them to human nerves"

"She’s only 15 and is repairing magic-infused heavy machinery for fun"

"Spunky, kind, and smart as hell... one of the shounen manga girls of all time."

"At age fifteen she could build a whole metal arm in 3 days (pulling all nighters)! She geeks out over the work of other prosthetics engineers and earned herself an apprenticeship where the shop's costumers began to prefer her after only a few months! She's kind but takes no shit and narratively symbolizes the goodness of humanity. also she read medical textbooks as a kid (her parents were both doctors) and was able to apply that knowledge for successful impromptu midwifery years later!"

"She is practically a child engineering Genius! Designs and makes prosthetics. She takes her work very seriously and geeks out over other people's designs. She is such a beautifully written strong female character that holds her own in a fandom full of amazing strong female characters and a great role model. She's Hella cute"

"She is considered a prodigy in her field, and is known as the “Automail Otaku” because of her unending interest of any machines and tools in the building and repairing of automail. She is incredibly smart, sincere, and passionate. She works hard for what she wants, is full of optimism despite what she has suffered, and is very loyal to her friends."

"built a fully functioning prosthetic arm for her friend when she was TWELVE basically by herself and has been his regular mechanic since. also heavily dabbles in the medical side as well as the mechanical side (for example: she successfully delivered a baby single-handedly at fifteen having only ever read about the subject before). she is so skrunkly she’s an icon a legend and she is the moment"

"Listen any girl who can master mechanical engineering, electrical engineering, and biology in order to build prosthetic limbs by the age of 12 is Impressive. She’s the one that got me onto an engineering career path I’m very biased"

#stem sister scuffle #round 3 #the magic school bus #ms frizzle #fullmetal alchemist #fma brotherhood #fma #fma winry #winry rockbell

[burr-ell]

Honestly, it feels really good seeing Claude fan who also happens to love Lady Rhea. There's really not enough of us

Sending love 💛💚

anon this warmed my heart so much im gonna give u a snippet from the claude & rhea friendship fic i never got around to finishing <3

He took a deep breath and knocked.

“Enter.”

He opened the door and stepped into the archbishop’s chambers. The atmosphere was surprisingly soothing, sunlight streaming through the windows and a floral perfume permeating the air. Rhea was sitting up in her nice, if plain-looking, canopy bed, resting against a couple of squashy pillows with a teacup and a book on the bedside table.

“You wished to see me, Claude?” she asked.

“I did.”

“I take it you have further questions?”

“Thought I’d come to pick your brain,” he said easily. “You’re the only one who’s ever taken on Nemesis directly. We need all the help we can get straight from the source.”

Rhea smiled, almost unnervingly genuine. “I can advise you, provided we discuss what’s really on your mind first.”

He’d expected her to be able to disarm him, but he hadn’t expected her to be so pleasant about it. Still, he was nothing if not nimble. “That easy to read, am I?”

“Not at all, actually. Seteth has often complained of it to me.” Her eyes flicked upward, a practiced gesture of exasperated fondness. “But do not forget that I have been in hiding for over a thousand years. There are many skills I lack, but I can detect a master of the craft.”

“Then it looks like we’re on the same playing field.”

Rhea sighed. “I cannot force you to lower your guard, nor do I expect it, but…please, at least have a seat.”

She gestured to the chair next to her bed, and Claude seated himself, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees.

“I gather you would still like to know more of the story of your professor.”

“There are still so many things that Byl—Teach still doesn’t know.”

“Including that you are here speaking with me.”

Claude nodded—he’d have been more surprised if she hadn’t guessed. “I didn’t want to worry her. And I think…she needs time before she can speak to you objectively.”

Rhea heaved a sigh, tipping her head back against the bed frame. “I understand. I—I gave you both quite enough information to take in. And…and she must be feeling…I cannot possibly understand what.”

“Neither can she.” He was careful to keep his tone neutral, but it was hard not to be accusatory.

“I owe her many apologies,” Rhea said softly. “Apologies that I cannot expect her to accept.”

“I can’t speak to where her head’s at right now,” Claude said slowly (honestly, Byleth’s head was still an enigma to him sometimes), “but I don’t think she’s—angry. She’s just…” He pressed his lips together in thought, then continued. “She’s spent her whole life being treated like a tool. And then she came here and sort of…found herself. And then she found out that someone who helped make that happen also wanted to use her.” He would know. He’d done the very same thing, before he’d gotten to know his best friend. His…well.

Rhea closed her eyes miserably. “I know. I have greatly wronged her.”

“She also understands why you did it,” Claude continued, “and why you kept it a secret. It’s just…a lot to process. Especially for someone who for so long didn’t even understand how to really feel anything.”

“And what about you?”

Claude tipped his head. “Me?”

Rhea frowned. “You are known for your inquisitiveness, and your thirst for knowledge. Yet you did little to question what I revealed to you. Why?”

Claude propped his chin in one hand, rubbing his lip thoughtfully with his index finger. “Honestly…what you told us made everything I’d been looking at for five years click into place. Just looking at the Relics alone, knowing what we know, and you can tell they’re made of—y’know.”

Rhea nodded, in a resigned sort of way.

“But if you don’t know the full story,” Claude went on, “you might not really think about it. Most people can’t use them, and they’re kept hidden away when they’re not being wielded. Even I didn’t get a look at Failnaught until my grandfather actually passed and I inherited the estate.”

Churning insides were nothing new to Claude, having dealt with them both naturally and otherwise, but even mentioning the bow was making him a bit queasy. How he’d yearned for the chance to wield it, knowing it would give him the opportunity to study it up close and grant him the power to achieve his greatest dreams, and now…

“It all makes sense now,” he continued softly. “I’ve never heard of something so horrific. And the way Seteth and Flayn are so secretive, and how upset Seteth was when Flayn went missing…” He paused, mulling over whether to reveal this particular piece of information—but it was unlikely that Rhea hadn’t seen such a thing coming, and at any rate, in light of all she’d shared with them, she deserved as full a story as he could give in return. “Seteth once confiscated a diagram I was showing Teach, of a creature called The Immaculate One. It had already given me some clues about Crest stones and Relics. At the time I thought it was because the church had something to hide…and in a way, I was right. And now I know that he was right to take it.”

Claude leaned a little closer, meeting Rhea’s eyes and their combined relief and sorrow. It was an expression he knew well—of finally finding someone who understood. “I didn’t even think to say it before. I am so, so sorry, for everything that happened to you. No one deserves to live in fear just because of who they are.”

“You…” Rhea swallowed thickly, eyes misting. Claude fell silent and averted his gaze, giving her a moment to regain her composure.

She took a deep breath. “Your words touch my heart—truly, they do. Yours is a perspective gained from cruel experience.”

She knew. Or at least she’d guessed. It was unsurprising, really, but he couldn’t help the thrill of anxiety pulsing in the back of his mind. Even so…there was an odd kinship here, one he didn’t even feel with Byleth when they discussed it, that kept his panic at bay. “Yeah,” he murmured, “I do. I know better than most people what it’s like to be resented and hated for being who I am. And what I’ve been through…it can’t even compare to what happened to you, and Seteth and Flayn.”

Rhea smiled, eyes still watery. “Such things are not competitive. At the end of it all, there are others who understand.”

#fe3h #claude von riegan #lady rhea #archbishop rhea #fe3h fanfic #burr writes #asks

[vierrel41n]

Cringetober day 2!

Prompt was self insert!!! I haven’t watched beyblade metal fusion since I was a kid but it was the first anime I ever watched and I loved it so much. I’m still kinda into it.

Lmao when I was younger I made a miraculous beyblade au 😭😭😭 looking back at it it actually went kinda hard if you wanna hear about it. Emile was a very famous undefeated blader but she got absolutely destroyed and shamed by master fu so she went into hiding 😹 that’s why Gabe wants to get him or smth. There’s more to it like combining parts from the ladybug and black cat beys to release some forbidden power like the Dark Nebula.

Anywayzzz I’m still coming up with a name for her but her bey is called midnight Corvus lol. All of the beys that I know of have constellation based names so ofc I used Corvus.

I know I haven’t posted much as of recently but that’s because I have midterms coming up. Already. DONT TAKE COMP SCI I ACTUALLY HATE IT!!! TELL ME WHY MY PROFESSOR ASKED ME TO USE GOOGLE??? YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO TEACH IT TO ME!!! Might switch to astronomy so we’ll see how that goes 👍🏾

I’ll catch up with Cringetober sometime after im less busy. Bye byeeee

#beyblade #metal fusion #madoka amano #gingka hagane #kenta yumiya #beyblade oc #cringetober #beyblade fanart

[jazz-bazz]

Lab Coat AU

very self indulgent au (sometimes also kinda diary dump) bcs this major stressing me out and ghouls make things better… so might as well stress out the ghouls by projecting, also kinda manifesting 🤞

the idea came from talking about ghouls with @hypnoneghoul when we’re both in class 😬 and i thought ‘nuclear scientist dew with a messy bun in lab goggles’ then @alwaysjustmina asked me about it and she wrote a little something (thank you so much 🖤) and i ran with it… and it took a 90° turn bcs it ended up being different, though the coffee shop is still there and phantom also works there, but now rain is also a scientist and everyones a scientist and some are professors, and yeah, you get it

the general idea is that they’re all scientists working in the same building, though they have different topics and are working for different degree levels, but theyre close friends, even the profs are also nice and chill (unlike mine)

on the weekends they do various things, but often get together for some down time at zenith, copias bar. oh and they also often get lunch together at terzo‘s diner or snacks at the coffee shop phantoms working at

dew and rain are pining for each other (so said the other ghouls who have a bet going on, actually theyve been secretly dating since their fifth semester, and rain is planning to propose after they’re both done with their phds but dew got there first 😂, copia knows bcs rain was drunk)

copia and aether are dating, sunshine and mountain have been on several dates and we’re just waiting for mountain to ask her out, swiss is courting phantom and phantoms also crushing on aurora…

who else hmm… i kinda wanna have zephfrit but i have no idea how to connect their storylines… and cirrus cumulus… i have too many ghouls and no idea how to connect them 😭

under the cut i put their research topics and the degree theyre working on, and also what they do on weekends, which is not gonna interest anyone but me but 🤷‍♀️

side note : these are inspired by real professors and lab supervisors in my own university, and also the building layout are also kinda based on my own, and some misc facts too… okay im basing a lot of this on my own uni 😬 let me make make my life sounds more interesting than it actually is okay, and also i need distractions

side side note : im aiming to do my bachelor‘s degree end of this year, and my current plan is to do it in the group im basing mist‘ from… who knows how that will go, but hey, manifesting

also special mention to you guys who patiently read through my ramblings @webbyghoul @sexy-sea-basss and @mikorsghouls who said you wanted to hear about this

OrgChem :

Mist -> (Prof) Photosensitive molecules in biological processes

Rain -> (PhD) Bioluminescence for cancer research, has etsy shop for crochet plushies

Cumulus -> (Prof) Environmentally friendly substitutes, weekends volunteer at hospital

Mountain -> (PhD) CFC for environment, helps at the family owned flower shop

Swiss -> (Master) SF6 substitute for cooling mediums, sings at local bar on weekends

TheoChem :

Cirrus -> (Prof) Highly precise method to research the structure of matter and fundamental interactions, coffee shop manager for weekends

Zephyr -> (PhD) Vibronic effects in electronic transitions, play piano with Swiss at the bar

Cowbell -> (Master) Compounds of heavy elements and their properties

PhysChem :

Omega -> (Prof) Quintessence / Dark energy and dark matter, volunteer at the hospital on weekends

Dew -> (PhD) Nuclear physics for dark matter, interaction of WIMP (weakly interacting massive particles) with nuclear matter (modeling the WIMP-Nucleus interaction), teaches some kids guitar on weekends or evenings

Aether -> (PhD) Dark energy and Einstein’s theory of gravity

(these 3 are less physchem and more just phys)

Alpha -> (Prof) Surface chem for harvest, storage, and transformation of energy

Sunshine -> (Master) Development of long lasting low cost solid batteries, work at the city library on weekends

InorgChem :

Special -> (Prof) Controlled electron transfer at heavy metal complexes

Ifrit -> (Master) Metalorganic catalysts from transition metals

Aurora -> (Undergrad) Med student, coffee shop regular

Phantom -> (Undergrad) Chem, coffee shop barista

#lab coat au #ghost hc #my hcs #now i need to make a summary of my ochem course bcs theres only 12 days left 😭 #and wtf even is atropisomeres 😭

[otrtbs]

hiiii !!! you’re like my favourite writer ever. the whole reason i got into the marauders is because of my love for art and finding art heist baby 🙈

i live in aus and i’m turning 17 soon. i want to do a degree in art history but im scared it wont get me anywhere? what do you think??

hi!!! thank you so much, this is so sweet!!! <3

well, as someone with 2 degrees in art history i am afraid i will be a bit biased here but i say absolutely do it if it's something that you love and are passionate about!

being completely candid here i had the best time in school. the BEST time. i loved every second of what i was doing and learning and it never felt like a chore. then for about 5 months post-grad i wanted to find a very large hole and bury myself in it because i could not get a job that utilized my degree to save my life. they were either extremely low paying (seriously, no person could live off of that wage and they were also PhD preferred) or entry level jobs calling for 5+ years experience ???? Like. GET. REAL. (not to worry tho i just recently got a job (aye) as an exhibitions and collections specialist at a museum so we are so on the up and up again)

also being candid here. you're never going to make a ton of money in this field. you're not gonna be "rich" and 95% of it is who you know. the art world is small. TRUST. also, most positions in an art historical field require at least a master's degree tbh. a lot would prefer a PhD especially if you're looking to do curatorial work in any time period pre 1920s. (so if you're an impressionist/baroque/renaissance kinda person be prepared to get a PhD and be prepared to learn another language aside from english to get a good job in the field) <- i do find that it's easier if you're more modern and contemporary focused to get on with just a masters degree

that being said, if this is what you want to do. if this is what you love. it is never a waste and you will find a way. (if I can find a way anyone can find a way). my best advice is talk to your professors, do internships, work if you can !!!! volunteer at your art museums!!!! meet and talk to the museum professionals in your area and NETWORK!! (I can't stress enough how many times someone has been like "oh you worked [redacted] did you know [redacted]?'" and i could be like "yes!!! i worked under them for two years loved her!! blah blah blah" it goes a long. way. i've had professors send me gallery writing guides and artist biography guides from when they worked at the MET so i would know how to write them, academic advisors in scotland know my art history professors in undergrad and subsequently became my bestie by extension, curators at a museum i volunteered at teach me how to work archival systems when they had a free minute)

talk to as many people as you can!! network!!! get some experience in archival systems, instillation work, art historical research!! work with your local university's/city's museum or archeological center! that way, when you're on your inevitable 239823 interview post-grad, someone at some gallery will be like "oh you worked here? under so-and-so???? you're hired"

i love it. what i do doesn't ever feel like work to me, it's exciting and fun and enjoyable and not something i do so i can do other things. it's not something i do just to make money. it's hard. post-grad is hard. but it's hard for a lot of people rn, not just art historians. i'm always gonna say go for it!!!! it is never a waste to do something you love!!

#asks #okay rant over sorry!! #always happy to answer more questions ofc any time just lmk #ARH talks

[sincerelystesichorus]

im currently writing next chapter of We Can Be Heroes (: but also for like the 5 people that follow me on here,, here's a prototype description of the bloodweave fic i plan on writing as my next project

(5-10 years post game) Gale Dekarios returns to Waterdeep not only a champion of Baldur’s Gate, but Faerun itself. He’s abandoned the chains of Mystra and now teaches magic in his own regard at the local mage college, lives happily with his Tressym, and receives regular correspondence from his ex-companions. But Gale was never a man who could be satisfied, and so many questions linger in his head from his time becoming a savior of Baldur’s Gate. So when Karlach returns from Avernus with a fully stable engine and invites him and a few old friends back to the Gate, it was obvious he’d drop everything and file sabbatical leave to visit. Upon arrival, however, Gale is met with the loose ends he knew weren’t tied up, and a string of disappearances leads him and the gang back to the Szarr Palace, where they left the master of the house to succumb to his injuries and rot in an ancient looking coffin. Gale regretted never seeing the vampire lord take his final breath, and the consequence now stands before him in one Astarion Ancunin, an eccentric and flamboyant noble, claiming to be the rightful heir to the Szarr Estate, and pointedly mortal. And despite his appetite for fruits and his flippant love of the sun and his words of mortality and not kidnapping folk, Gale’s eyes can’t shy away from what they know. Gale just has to prove his theory, something a professor of the arcane arts is accustomed to, but Astarion Ancunin is a unique case with an even stranger answer.

#ao3 writer #bloodweave #my writing #words words words #bg3 fanfiction #fanfic

[actualbird]

Why bother w/ grad school? Tbh I think ur doing pretty well as it is. Idk u irl but ur blog makes me happy and ur fics are 🔥🔥🔥

Maybe ur already a good boy. Pat pat.

me reading this ask:

thank you for the kind words, anon :((((( im glad this blog can bring some joy into ur day and that u like my fics, im in a weird fragile mood today so this is genuinely making me emotional like wAAHH?? THINGS I MAKE, GOOD? GOOD???? //figurative tail wagging

as to why i bother thinking about grad school, i actually....for a long time, that was my dream actually. i come from a family of academics. my mother has a phd and is a professor, my older brother got his master's degree this year and is working towards his doctorate already. i guess for the longest time, ive seen grad school as the Marker Of Having Your Shit Together, since my mom and my brother are the most Have Their Shit Together people i know. but i do love learning. i miss it. but i also know that learning doesnt just only happen in grad school. idk, im just at a weird portion in my life where im, career-wise, stable enough to start making goals for myself. and my goal before was always getting a master's degree (and then possibly teaching) but now im not so sure about it anymore. it's weird being in a part of your life where you realize you can want things now, but not knowing what you want or even how to want in the first place.

it's. weird. being an adult is weird. im over here on tumblr dot com talking about blorbo but also having mild existential crises over where my life is going.

im 24, man. i need to go somewhere with my life. somewhere good, ideally. somewhere where i can take solace in the fact that im doing good, and enjoying it.

//sniffles

ANYHOO, thank you for the ask, and for the headpats ;-; maybe i am a good boy. maybe. hopefully

#//head in hands #asks #anon #fire!anon

[from-the-clouds]

Prof Roy ex-student young wife anon here!

I LOVED every single word you wrote omg. I agree 100000%. Also loving the idea of him just being so happy to pay for your further education and research trips. Like an academic sugar daddy. I love this. I totally see you becoming a professor too and him being your biggest supporter and you two being this power couple teaching at the same college at some point. Doctor Roy and Professor Roy.

I also had another thought which is how he’d propose to you the night before your graduation. Cause he loves your forbidden romance but he can’t wait to make you his beautiful young wife and have you on his arm when he gets another award or a certification at a fancy gala. So, you show up to graduation in your cap and gown and a huge diamond ring.

Im sorrry this is probably cringe and a weird niche fetish of mine so I’m sorry for exposing you to that.

Hope you’re having a good day!!

omg YES an academic sugar daddy that's so true. i love the idea of becoming a power couple. there are even times where you are both are sort of competing with each other in your career, but you're very much like 'when one of us wins, we both win' and that's like a sentiment he legitimately has never heard before. like he might be on edge but when he sees it's just good-natured competitiveness on your end he realizes that he can have what he had with his siblings without things getting nasty and manipulative.

the proposing before your graduation he is so insane for that. i imagine you want to marry him too but you've never told your friends about him so when you show up with a massive ROCK on your finger they are like "soooo...whose the guy?" and you just have to sort of lie until it's an appropriate time to reveal who he is. or maybe he proposes to you when you graduate with your masters so at that point he hasn't been your prof in awhile so it's more widely acceptable. but yeah, very selfishly he just wants to make sure you belong to him. as long as he knows that he's fine and supportive with whatever else you decide to do.

i also imagine for awhile people really whisper about you behind your backs because regardless of how you actually start hooking up with him, there's always gonna be that stigma that he once was your prof. but after awhile i do think people will be able to see your connection is genuine and you do care about one another so they don't talk as much shit.

but NO, literally don't apologize at all it's not weird at all. the idea is really hot to me too. it's my dream life to just be curious about different things and being with someone who would let me explore all my interests and support that is honestly so fucking hot. feel free to send me as many asks about this as you want!! thank you<3

#asks #writing #kendall roy x reader #professor!kendall

[sessa23]

Revelations: Part 1 (thirteenth doctor x Dhawan!master x reader)

(Summary: it has been a week since the events of spyfall, you and the rest of the Doctor's companions are dropped off in Sheffield while the doctor seeks some answers but while she's off world seeking answers, the master comes to you with questions of his own.)

TW: Yelling, non consensual hypnotism/mass hypnosis,threatening behaviour

(Author's note: sorry guys 13 is not mentioned much in this part but next part she will be. Also I will advise that I still am currently working on other fics and will post when each part is done :) Anyway I hope you all enjoy this.)

A week had passed since the master's attempt to destroy the human race, you were in your university lecture room teaching a class. The Doctor said she needed to go and find some answers, alone and so you all decided to stay in Sheffield while she did this. You enjoyed your work, you walked and stood infront of your desk " today we will be discussing the House of Romanov, who can tell me the year that the Romanov's came to power?"

The class was silent until one of the students raised their hand. You indicated for the student to answer "1613" the student stated, nodding as you picked up the whiteboard marker. "That's correct Richard." You replied before you turned your back and walked over to the whiteboard. You then wrote that year on the board. "now when did the Romanov's dynasty come to an end?" suddenly the class went quiet, too quiet. "you're a professor...how adorable." A voice replied you turned and saw the master sitting on a chair in the back of the room, your students were frozen in place.

Your eyes widened as a gasp left your mouth "No! H...How did you escape the kassarvaan dimension?" The Master smiled "that's my secret." He spoke as he stood up. You looked at your students, their eyes glassy as they sat frozen in place. As you placed the whiteboard marker down on your desk, the master walked down towards the front of the room as you discreetly fiddled with your phone which was in your pocket.

"Don't even think about calling for help Y/N or none of these students will make it to their next class." The master had an evil smirk as he pulled the TCE from his jacket pocket.

"Are you mind controlling these students?" You questioned. The Master chuckled "it's not much effort, human minds are so easy to control, to mold. After all i hypnotised the entire country once, a classroom full of university students is nothing."  He came closer to you  "I can even make you do exactly what I want with just a few words." You gulped as his words sent shivers down your spine but you couldn't show fear, you had to think about your student's welfare, you had to at least pretend to not be scared.

"What do you want?" You asked He turned and looked at you "Use my name love, it's rude not to." Taking a deep breath as you spoke again "What do you want, master?" He walked over to a cabinet "I want to know how you figured out everything."

You turned to him "what do you mean?" You asked, he turned to you "how you figured out that I was not who I said I was. How you figured out the purpose of the silver lady and how you worked out that they had been testing humans for centuries."

You sighed "first rule of espionage is don't trust anyone and I've seen plenty of those movies. Also my inner voice said that there was something off about you but I just didn't know what." The master was looking in the cabinet "Your inner voice?" You sighed "my inner voice, my instincts" the master nodded. You put your hand on your hip "yes and it was correct." The master chuckled slightly "what is your inner voice telling you now?"

"That I should be calm, because you're Dangerous." The master turned to you "do you think you're being calm?" You nodded "Im being very calm,concidering that you tried to murder my friends and kill off the entire human race last week."

The Master tapped his fingers on the cabinet, tap. tap. tap. tap, he then looked up at you. You were not doing the same but some of your students were tapping their fingers on their desks. "Why are they doing that?" You asked, the master looked at the students "just some handiwork by my younger self." The master stopped the tapping before he turned to you. "Something about you interests me" the master replied as he looked at you.

You stepped back slightly."Yeah im good with technology, so are alot of people. I'm not special." He looked at you "but you used time lord technology, like it was second nature." He put a finger to his chin. You crossed your arms and glanced at your entranced students before looking back at the master "I've been travelling with the Doctor for a while now and I've watched her use various technologies, it's probably just a case of learning from her."

"You're one of the few humans that i actually like." He whispered, you raised an eyebrow "is that supposed to be a compliment?" The Master went to respond but he looked down at your notebook on your desk "What is that? That symbol...why do you have that symbol in your book?"

You looked down at the page and saw a symbol which you didn't recognise. "That is Seal of Rassilon, from Gallifrey." The master spoke as you quickly shut your book, you looked up at him "I don't know what that symbol is, I think i recall seeing it in the Doctor's TARDIS, I drew it when i was in the TARDIS, now that I think about it."

The master put his hand on the book "You still haven't answered my other questions. How did you figure out the purpose of the silver lady and how did you work out that they had been testing humans for centuries." His questions began to overlap with voices but you didn't know where they were coming from, a sharp pain formed in your head  "I DON'T KNOW!" You yelled suddenly, your eyes widened when you realised that you had raised your voice.

Surprised, he master took his hand off the book "the fact that you don't know, makes you more interesting. I think we'll be seeing more of each other." You were silent for a moment "can you undo what you did to my students?" The Master nodded "they'll be released once I leave." Breathing a sigh of relief, your students would be okay.

"Oh and one more thing love." He trailed before grabbing your chin, forcing you to look at him. Once your eyes met his, you couldn't look away, all other noise faded away, your mind feeling foggy and all you could see were his beautiful brown eyes. "Don't tell the doctor or her pets that you've seen me again. Can't have them knowing I'm back yet." His voice echoing though your mind. You nodded "I won't tell them" Your voice, soft yet monotone.

The master had a smile form on his face "Good, so obedient for your master." Then the let go of your chin and turned away. You blinked as the foggy feeling faded and you came to your senses. "Oh look at the time, I really must go, see you again Y/N." The master pressed a button on his TCE and teleported away

"Professor L/N" a voice called you turned to your students "are you okay?" A student asked you, nodding as you took a breath "yes I'm okay" quickly picking up the whiteboard marker as if everything was normal "Now when did the Romanov dynasty come to an end? Bonus points if anyone can tell me what caused it to come to an end."

Meanwhile the master arrived back in his TARDIS, he leaned on the console his mind flashing back to the events of the week before. The encounter that he just had with you in conjunction with the events of last week made him have an idea, you didn't know why you figured out his plan but he was going to find out.

#doctor who #bbc doctor who #13th doctor #dhawan!master #the master #thirteenth doctor #jodie whittaker #thriteenth doctor #thirteenth doctor x dhawan!master x reader #13th doctor x dhawan!master x reader #13th doctor x reader #dhawan!master x 13th doctor x reader #thirteenth doctor x reader #sessa20 fics

[chai-en-kaadhale]

things that happened in the sad book apocalypse novel that I Am Not Over

----> copy pasted from my silly little notes app

- Kdj's second mother is persephone, his father is hades

- Kdj's brother is a literal monkey. I mean like 3 literal monkeys. And he is also a monkey. A magical one. Hes also a squid

- Also his first mother covered up his first homicide, which was his first father. Biologically at least

- The constellations become idols

- Biyoo's mentor as Shin Yoosung of the 41st round was Yjh, her soul was taken by Kdj and stuffed in an egg for Bihyung to hatch, so excluding whoever her bio parents were, Biyoo had a grand total of 3 dads

- To reiterate, he had a daughter with a weird troll who became the king of weird trolls. she is also a fluffy ball with a horn.

- Secretive Plotter is the embodiment of Washing Machine Heart

- Yjh becomes a girl for a bit

- Hsy is a boy when we meet her

- Kdj becomes an actual demon king

(ah yes the three genders; girl, boy and demon king)

- yjh kdj and hsy scam anna croft out of 3 million coins

- hmg's child gets possessed by a goetic demon

- kdj gets a scenario where he'll die if he doesn't socialize

- ysa slams yjh's head into a wall

- The 4th wall eats kdj's mother (as in the wanderer king)

- lhs turns into a sword and starts sobbing

- lhs gets kidnapped by the wizard of oz (in a sense)

- Surya (as in the god of the fucking sun) has a train.

- knw becomes an EVA like shinji's mom. or an EVA pilot? idk i never got that bit

- the way hmg got the child. iykyk ;)

- Buddha himself shoves the main characters into a period drama - Actaully no the entire Kaixenix arc wtf was that

- "[Constellation 'Demon Kind of Salvation'] is throwing a tantrum at constellation 'Secretive Plotter']"

- kdj beating the shit out of paul (king shit)

- jhy called kdj ugly to his face upon barely having spoken to him

- yjh fought a dog (we love breaking the sky sword master though)

- abfd made hsy move kdj so that instead of an attack hitting his <black flame dragon> it literally killed him

- "Im sure hsy and kdj are doing something very important and hard for us and thats why they couldn't stay" Cut to hsy and kdj living it up in a ferrari

- 999 yjh turns into a dumpling

- kdj turns into a dumpling

- ljh misunterstanding kdj and yjh

- "maybe kdj likes getting kidnapped"

- The pocketwatch being left on the bed after yjh leaves :(((

- 1863 hsy plagerising her way into seeing the conclusion and then becoming tls123

- kdj not liking tomatoes

- hsy's first hint of suspicion that something was up with 49%kdj being that he liked tomatoes

- 999knw,ljh, and uriel and 1863 yjh taking od to parent-teacher conferences

- hades when persephone was leaving: "honeyy do you HAVEE to leave :'ccc"

- "Terrorist identified as supreme king yoo junghyeok, 33, unemployed"

- "WEIRD SPACECRAFT SEEN CRASHING INTO EARTH WITH... TERRORIST YJH INSIDE OF IT?????"

- hsy becoming a professor who teaches stuff about webnovels

- 999yjh teaching kdj how to properly make murim dumplings

- ysa becomes tripitaka and a prospective buddha part 2

- kimcom fights the sun and also the ocean

- "yjh. where is kdj?"

- "This man. Arrest him."

- tmyfiictrwiegtmya?

- yjh eats dirt

- yjh gets revenge on dokja for making him eat the dirt

- The Secretive Plotter has been having a "domiti why not me" moment for the entire round so far so he sends kdj to kill him in the 1863rd round in such a way that yjh doesn't regress ever again but with the ulterior motive of ensuring that 1863!yjh doesn't become him in the present thereby erasing his existence (rip)

Except that just results in kdj creating both him and the current yjh, neither of which would have happened if he didnt sent kdj out in the first place thus resulting in all of his problems.

- Secretive Plotter also sent out hsy#2 to his round and she ended up becoming one of the things that caused the entire story to happen to begin with. Thus resulting in both his existence and all his problems by extension.

- tl;dr, secretive plotter fucked up his plotting so bad that it literally became the cause of all of his problems. and everyone else's problems by extension bc protagonist.

- The fact that everything is in a time loop

- The multiverse and also the fact that jaehwan is in it too

- kdj was in the subway for over 21,763 years mind if i cry

- sooyoung and junghyeok share the love language of chokehold

- hsy @ dokkaebi king: "yeahh so about the apocalypse. could you like,, not..?" or smthng like that

- everything is happening at the same time. bro. bro.

- anna croft was born in las vegas. i did not know you could be born in las vegas. i did not know that ppl actually gave birth in las vegas bc the first thing their baby would probably smell would be cigarette smoke and it would probably develop epilepsy or sumn from all the lights

- that one scene where jhw shoots up with her angel wings, hsy rides a dragon up into the sky, and yjh walks on air or something like that shit was cold

- the potential of a golden eye edit with yjh bc of his transcender eye AND IT SHOULD HAPPEN ALREADY

- kdj just having been a constellation this whole time and an incarnation the whole time as well. he kinda had the pain from both sides :(((

- hsy casually being rich asf pre apocalypse AND A NEPO BABY TOO

- the entire book was just a bunch of people ((well mostly just the two)) faced with a trolly problem on a multi-global scale, AND THEY STILL chose the one guy because he meant that damn much to them.

- Yjh misunderstanding Sangja and going, "You have a woman you l o v e" and shitittt

- That scene where yjh met btsss and just immediately ran away

- kyrgios and ngmy being exes. bro wanted a giant woman (allll you wanna do. is see me turn intooooo) and got the giantest. other bro w wanted a short king and got the shortest. they took height difference to the extreme.

- ljh calling ngmy "Grand-Master" LIKE GRANDMA BC SHE WAS YJH'S MASTER AWWDUSHDEHA

- Yoo Hosung (Reincarnator Island Fable-Control Guy) being ljh's "Great-Grand-Master" LIKE GREAT-GRANDPA BC HE TAUGHT NGMY WHO TAUGHT YJH (and also kyrgios)

- The pebble story being actually relevant ('The stone and I')

- Uriel. Archangel Uriel is a fucking nerd. Kdj is her little meow-meow

- Metatron and Agares just scheming in the great war of saints and demons like little schemers

#orv #i swear this book gets so wild #i dont think theres a single au out there that can beat out the sheer insanity this book already contains #uh #orv spoilers #queued for funsies #words

[femmesandhoney]

Lol no im asking beacuse i wanna end up in academia as well (although a different field than sociology) and like idk what to do if it doesnt work or how im gonna financially support myself for 8 years. No one in my immediate circle knows how it works. So that's why i asked im sorry if i seemed hostile

oh i understand. i understand the bare minimum as well, since each grad program i look at has vastly different ways it finances you. which btw im really only looking into paid or heavily aided programs that are worth their salt. theres no reason for me to try and waste money in a worse grad program that im shilling a lot of money for. many of these programs will cover or aid you in many ways bc theyre more selective, but worth it if your long term career plan is to be a prof. most of these programs really only wanna see candidates that are PhD focused, at least in the social sciences. i cant speak much about other fields.

what i mean by this is you do have to have some level of commitment to the idea of academia and professorship because those years will be tiring and you will probably experience burnout eventually. so you need to be prepared to really look inside yourself if academia and teaching will be an endgoal that makes you very happy, enough to deal w the slog of academic battlegrounds and stuffy professors you might hate and dealing w the short end of the stick more than half the time bc professors aren't paid well in general. if you can still see the sun at the end of that shit storm of work and slogging, then i would encourage you to continue to focus on academia. if not, don't let it bother you. there are many other forms of masters programs, even some online, if you're just looking for that extra bit of credentials but don't necessarily want a Ph.D.

obviously you can try and get loans, i'll probably still need to take some more out for grad school even with a paid program if its one that isn't fully covered. theres really no way around having to work thru grad school or while getting ur PhD unless you're coming from a well off background. im planning to work as much as i can. obviously apply for scholarships and similar things, those can help. and if you're really finding it hard, speak to the schools financial aid center and see upfront how they can help you more. most schools are apt to discuss and find ways to help.

but yeah like i don't have specific jobs in mind, im not there in grad school yet nor know what my financials will be like if im accepted or not, but ofc there will be loans and there will be work and there will be many years of school to get towards my goal of being a professor because talking about sociology is what makes me happy and i get a good feeling when i think about driving conversation amongst students in my own classroom. and i hold that feeling and its not as daunting.

[bright-and-burning]

im sorry, you are 22 and were already a phd candidate??

LOL this got long sorry!!! u get my evil academic origin story anon congrats

yeah! i wanted to be a professor for a while (like, most of high school, and then my freshman year of college i became disillusioned abt my original field choice but by junior year i had stumbled into a new field i was passionate abt and decided teaching was the dream again) so in my senior year of college i applied to a bunch of cs phd programs

idk how other fields/countries work but basically like if you apply and you dont have a masters already it just takes longer (5 years on average instead of ~4 or something)! and a lot of the programs i applied to preferred that you didnt have a masters already. so it's less impressive maybe than it sounds on paper?

i also wanna say i was one of three ppl from my friend group going straight into phds after graduating (not even counting my med school hopeful friends. or regular masters friends) so i also feel like it's not that uncommon?? maybe covid made it more common. i also went to a like ~high end~ research uni full of nerds. and was in with the nerd athletes (distance runners) so im like biased

i spent the fall semester of senior year applying to grad school, and the spring semester getting my heart broken by grad school decisions LOL

i got into one program but it was literally like. top 5 in the country for what i wanted to do. so i accepted, bc i made my undergrad decision based on prestige and that worked out like absurdly well for me lol. and then i had a mental breakdown the weekend of graduation and realized i didnt want to grind out a phd in a field that doesnt treat ppl like me (queer women w learning disabilities from lower class backgrounds... lmfao....) kindly for like no money in the middle of nowhere far from anyone i know + love when i could (in theory) get a well-paying job (or at least more survivable than 30k/year) and find satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment from things like. spending time with my friends. traveling. having money for my hobbies. etc etc.

so i dropped out like right on the deadline for signing up for classes/seminar/research groups. and then they kept me on the email list anyways so i was tormented for a few months by what couldve been which was Great for feeling secure in this life changing choice i made more or less on an emotional whim that deviated from a life plan i had had since i was 15

and then i spent 6 months unemployed bc the tech world is imploding . LOL . but i have a job offer now for something that's really meaningful to me that'll allow me to use my skills to help people AND it'll pay me more than double what my phd stipend was. so alls well that ends well or something

#if anyone ever wants to chat comp sci. or making strange illogical decisions abt their life and academia. hit me up <3 #this is kind of a long post sorry but i felt like i needed to make it clear that it's not like. #idk to me it's just a fact and like a kind of waste of time and energy and a Lot of emotional turmoil that i spent figuring out my life #essentially aimlessly but desperately grasping onto any path that made sense #rather than anything impressive if that makes sense #like i enrolled in a phd program. was 'sponsored' so to speak by a prof. had a placement in a lab. had funding and everything. #but then had a mental breakdown. and dropped out before even moving there (thank god) #ask