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erosofthepen · 2 years

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dwavern holidays: discuss

bro loving the freedom and creativity this brings me

okay so dwarves all have their maker, Mahal, whose Aule right? im not fact checking right now so correct me if im wrong, but dwarves don't really treat their maker with a typical religious pursuit, its more like "oh yeah he's there he exists we go to him when we die ig" and thats that, theres no priests or religious rites or anything, so i assume their holidays aren't centered around him either.

also dwarves live a much longer time than humans do, so im also gonna assume that their bigger holidays aren't annual either. like maybe they're every 3 years or every 5 or 10 years, or they're in accordance with celestial shit. but the thing that gets me about celestial holidays is that dwarves are creatures that roam below the earth, the caverns and caves are their home, not the stars and the heavens, so holidays that come around every few years or so make more sense.

this brings the question of what exactly would dwarves celebrate then? we know canonically they have Durin's Day, an annual holiday that signals the start of the new year, however, i feel like besides new years, their holidays would be in accordance with the things dwarves value most. This includes smithing, crafting, mining, the riches of the earth, feats of strength, and value of close friends/family, greater than any treasure. Some dwarven holiday ideas i have are listed, with hc's around each of them.

Durin's Day- the dwarves new year. Not a huge holiday, but a nice short one, like one night of festivities. I feel that most celebrations would be more family/small group centered with this holiday, maybe a small feast and some form of dancing and music. This holiday is mostly focused on the improvements in development from one year into the next, and just a last way to celebrate before going into the depths of winter. The New Years was proclaimed by Durin the I, and has since been named in his honor.

The Fire Festival- this has been stewing in my mind for a while now. every 5 years, for two whole weeks, a huge display of dwarven craftsmanship and skill is celebrated and admired, with dwarves of all different crafts in relation to fire presenting stalls of their best works. We're talking smithies, glassblowers, candlemakers, you name it. Its a celebration of the fire that produces such great works of beauty. and the outfits... bro the outfits make this festival. everyone is decked out in reds, oranges, blacks, blues, and yellows, and positively dripping with gold and gems. the make up is usually charcoal or some sort of bright/shimmery pigment, and the hair is done in so many braids weaved with different ribbons and precious metals. fires are constantly lit, with one giant fire pit kept burning continuously throughout the entire festival, and fireworks are set off on the first and last days (we know dwarves can make fireworks from balin in the hobbit). the food is superb, with a lot of spicy main menu items and citrus and bold sweet fruits imported, and the dishes are prepared almost artfully. music and dancing play a huge part, and some dancers spend years leading up to the festival to try to capture the movements of the flame in their steps. its a bit like coachella except much much better.

Meragel (or feast of all feasts)- this whole holiday would probably occur every 25 years or so. It is, as the name implies, a feast to rival the gods. Like this is a week of feasting the whole community takes part in, and everyone eats at least the first meal together in a great hall or a large open space. A large array of meats, ales, wines, whiskey, breads, sweets, grains, root vegetables, spices, fruits, and cheeses are brought to the many many tables, and every group brings a dish (or several). This feast i feel, is explicitly a time for family and friends who love each other dearly to meet up and talk of their lives. people will travel many miles for an opportunity to connect with their loved ones again, and what better way to bond than over a delicious meal? side games and music are to be expected, though whether or not people will be able to dance depends on their ability to hold their liquor.

Rites of Strength- physical prowess and power are very important in dwarven culture, and this whole holiday is an event specifically for that. typical dwarven sports games (i wholeheartedly believe they'd have some version of rugby but as a rugby player im biased), lifting, wrestling, sparring, some form of rock/discus throwing, any shows of skill involving weaponry, and most importantly, a display for younger dwarves to prove their worth going into adulthood. I'm thinking this holiday would be around every 10 years, since that's a good window for older teens and young adults to be showing off their skills. One huge challenge is set up, with all the younglings competing against one another over the course of a moon cycle to become a champion (a new challenge is presented twice a week, and over the course of these challenges the number of competitors decreases based on skill alone, until there is one remaining). The prize for the youngling in the end is Honor and a Hefty purse of gold. Dwarves will travel to the nearest village/city of the head of one of the 7 dwarf families for the competitions, and while the challenges are ongoing it gives the adults and wee pebbles opportunities to have good rough fun with one another. also hc'ing that dís was the champion during her tournament.

Exhibition of the Sciences and Arts- dwarves have a deep love of creation and making sense of things, and science and art are so deeply intertwined that dwarves have a celebration for the two of them together. haven't thought about the time for this one, but possibly every 3 years? not sure. anyways, architecture plays a huge part in this festival (its probs the most perfect combination of the two fields, and we all know how dwarves love their geometric halls), as well as practices of logical medicine (throwing this in there but im thinking dwarves have logical medicine that they know for fool-proof physical healing and illogical medicine that is like groovy witch-craft reading signs and superstitious stuff), carving art, mathematics, acting, singing, writing, and so on so forth. its a knowledge share and a place where intellectuals feel most at home, and isn't so much a party as it is a nerd expo. super fascinating and interesting though, and a great place to find talented scientists and artists for commissions and job opportunities.

The Craft Trade- a huge market that comes along every two years where crafters display their wares for about 2-3 weeks, during the summer solstice. i feel like this would be a huge display for potters, weavers, quilters (i hc that quilters are widely respected in dwarven culture), textile merchants, tailors, cobblers, jewelry makers, spice traders, bakers, ect. its a mesmerizing and amazing place, perfect to trade and buy gifts. It's also considered good etiquette to bring food to the sellers, as dwarves are notoriously protective of their works, and they don't wish to risk leaving their stalls for too long during the day. a lot of pop up entertainment is around, from buskers to party tricks and games.

On Weddings, Birthdays, and More- Weddings are kind of a huge deal in dwarf culture, bcs you only marry if you find your One. there can be years of preparation going into a wedding, and while the actual ceremony and creation of the marriage contract (canonically, dwarves are obsessed with contracts) lasts only a day, the feast, even without the couple present, will last for a week at least. the families/friends of both parties are present and taking their well deserved break from preparations. On birthdays, the day of birth is most joyously celebrated. trusted friends and family are invited to celebrate the successful birth of another dwarf (its a long and rare process for dwarves to be born, celebration is almost a necessity) and the gifts presented to the child are spectacular, as well as the feast in the child's honor. Full birthday parties are held maybe every 30 or 50 years, and probably the largest party will be a dwarf's 100 and 200 year party. annually, not a whole lot of special emphasis is placed upon a birthday, maybe a favorite meal and small gifts given by your closest companions. afterall, when your lifespan is nearly 300 years, annual birthdays grow tiring.

welp my wrists are tired and im slouching like a shrimp, but i had so much fun writing this!!!

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ceilingfan5 · 8 months

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in the spirit of impending halloween, can you go off about overrated (or underrated) candies?

im gonna go out swinging and declare at the top of my lungs that i hate red candy AND blue candy and quite often green candy. strawberry flavored candy is on thin ice but usually not bad. and before you're like woah what the fuck. prepare to die on this hill with me fucker. im allergic to food dye, esp red n blue. not like, severely, but it gives me migraines, and combined with a billion other triggers, shit like birthday parties n valentines day were vomit bummers of a repeated nature when i was little.

so then like, at halloween, i'd have to give my little brother all my red n blue and often green candy, and being a little brother, he was piss poor at trading, and it was a whole thing.

SO WHAT"S GOOD ACTUALLY?

chocolate except for like, almond joys, mounds. im not a coconut guy. snickers are fine. caramel fucks, peanut butter is good if it isn't a bitch to get out of the wrapper, i like crispy bits, nougat rules. pretzel m&ms fuck. the best easy to get chocolate is the hershey symphony almond n toffee bits bars that are ginormous, but like, actually decent chocolate rocks the socks. i got a bar of tony's chocolonely the other day and it was like fucking, strawberry cheese cake flavored and usually im a milk chocolate, then white chocolate, then.......................................................maybe slightly dark chocolate person, but god i ate the entire thing in one go and i had no regrets except for that it was gone

peach anything! chewy orange candy, lemon candy, strawberry candy (if you are offended on red and blue flavored candy's behalf please come take it off my hands the next time i have a variety bag). skittles, starbursts, etc. also like, sour gummy worms/octopi, watermelons, sour patch kids. also also tootsie rolls, which kind of straddle the line between one and two taxonomoically

rock candy fucks, good texture. chocolate rocks are the same. lollipops but only like four flavors and i don't fuck with mystery. pop rocks (again like. three varieties) are cool. bubblegum is a probably.

grape is a hard maybe. as are smarties (chalky), nerds. nerds are like eating aquarium gravel so you have to be in the mood. i'll eat like three candy corns and that's plenty. mint chocolate heavily varies. peanut stuff, gotta be in the mood for it. mega sour candy is probably a no, as is like...gooey things. i don't do like, gushers etc. wrong texture.

no: cherry anything, blue raspberry anything. no mystery flavors, cause you never know when it's gonna kick your ass. no coconut (texture), dark dark chocolate (bitter), spicy (spicy), coffee anything (bitter). if you are upset about it give me your mailing address and you can have any of mine you like (joke)

also i never eat candy from like, the dollar store, tj maxx, craft stores etc, and if it has been in my cupboard too long bye bye. im also not gonna eat like, chocolate flavored wax product.

#ask game #don't get me started #thank you!!!#i appreciate you indulging me esp since i posted n ghosted

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g0sts · 10 months

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Guillermo, salmon, coconut, death 🥥

jamie u MENACE droppin all three ask memes at once, come over rq i just wanna talk (talking is code for fist-fighting you on behalf of how long this is gonna be)

(from this ask meme, this other ask meme, and this third one!)

first up Let's Talk About Gyemmo!

My favorite thing about him - he's Nice, sort of, when it benefits him, but he's definitely not A Good Person. he's just like me in that he's got that baby-faced Charm combined with a polite disposition that enamors people to him, but he's ruthless. he's just sweet about it. only this bitch can give up almost everything in his life in pursuit of pure selfishness and then struggle to accept that there's consequences ♥

My least favorite thing about him - mans has got to stop Leaving For Good For Realsies This Time at least once a season (twice in season two!!), he's gonna be the boy who cried Gone For Ever ('whale eyes at the coming finale but pretending i don't see it' voice)

My favorite canon relationship - you know im a nandermo bitch. they make each other worse and they might just turn out better for it. it's like watching two dogs who both want to play but are both just doing the little bow thing bc neither dog is taking the bait to chase so they're just whimpering and pawing at each other thinking "why doesn't he wanna [redacted] 🥺" it's pathetic, sort your shit out guys

My favorite non-canon relationship - That Year In London With Nadja. they never showed it to us but we all know it happened. they did mani-pedis and nearly killed each other multiple times and then she hired him as her accountant

The sexuality I headcanon for him - baby boy canonically gay and that's such a win ♥ i do hc him as trans but you knoowwwww that's some juicy little projection i like to do~

What I’d do if I could spend the day with him - in all honesty i do not anticipate that we would get along! like if i'm lucky he lures me home to be dinner but probably we would end up somewhere with a line unable to surpass our own giant social walls enough to do anything Cool. like, ok. is this pre s5? if i watch someone take a fork and knife to a burger i am Leaving Immediately

Random fact about him I like - the little snippets we get about his family life and what he gets up to off-camera. tell us more about the meat dress for your cousin's quinceañera!! u freaque, gimme more of this shit!! i'm obsessed!!

OK WE MADE IT LET'S GOOO

Salmon: How many pairs of sunglasses do I own? triangles, tiny shades, blurple circle shades, alien circle shades, ghosts, cat circle shades, and i think i still have the coral foldable shades but i haven't seen em in a while? so 6 or 7. for now.

Coconut: A subject I enjoy learning about crafting historyyyy how shit's madeeee show me the machinesss show me vintage vintage patterns, show me how vikings made yarn and then make a scarf out of it

AND LASTLY

Death: 3 things I wanna do before I die 1) go to New York City 2) get a tattoo 3) i wanna get married 👉👈 specifically i am holding out hope that i can connect with someone and forge that level of love trust and commitment that makes you decide "yeah this is a Forever thing" even if Marriage Specifically isn't on the table for whatever reason. thot i had it once! so i can get there again! just gotta do the hard part and meet the right person, which includes meeting a lot of Not the right people 🤷‍♂️

#was gonna put under a readmore but im choosing violence instead #sorry to ppl who track the tags im about to use‚ but i am an archive tagger‚ so we will both have to deal with this:#wwdits #wwdits guillermo #ask memes #partiallyobscure #good news is my bucket list is very attainable! nyc will be replaced with paris once i make it to nyc #never been a big dreams guy‚ it's allowed me to find contentment in my life tho

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wisemins · 8 months

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💭, 🎤 , 🎵 and 💃 for your AoT F/Os? :0 (no need to answer for all of them if you don't feel like it tho!!)

TYSM FOR THE ASK ANONNN <333 many kithies for you <3 I'll answer for all of them!! IM SO EXCITED ik i could have split this up, but I want to be annoying w my love rn <3 Thoughts 💭 - What do you think your f/o thinks about you when you’re not around? Armin: Armin I think would just be wondering if I was okay, he worries a lot and his mind tends to get the better of him! But, I also think he'd be doing something productive and is thinking of what he's gonna talk to me about later, maybe something I mentioned to him that he wanted to read up on for me to soothe his nerves. Also probably just being lost in thought about us, definitely some romantical stuff going on in his brain too!! Jean: He's being a simp. Jean can't stand being away from me for too long, he gets nervous like a dog with separation anxiety-- or well, a horse with separation anxiety? He gets very easily irritable in this time, because he also worries, but to everyone else he pretends he's totallyyy not worrying about whether or not I'm somehow in some kind of situation that's not ideal or dangerous. Or he gets insecure if I'm with someone else giving them all the attention I give him, he's a very jealous person. But, if he knows for a fact that I'm safe and sound, he's still being a simp, and he's thinking about me in very simpy way. Erwin: 100% thinking about me coming into his office to convince him to stop working however late he's up in the middle of the night and to come to bed. He plays it over and over in his head until it actually happens, or he's done with his work. He has so much responsibility, but he likes that I bring him away from it when he's overworked since he can't bring himself to do it. It prevents less exhaustion, and I get to actually have my man in my bed at night! Any other time though? He's thinking of what he's going to do for me when I get home, make dinner, maybe buy a spontaneous gift, perhaps write out some romantic letter. He's always looking for ways to surprise me when I'm not around! Yelena: Also being a simp. A huge, flaming, homo. She can't stop thinking about me at any given moment, she just can't! At work? She's thinking about me. Out with her co-workers? She wishes she was at home with me. She has to take a business trip without me? Oh she's gonna die without me around. I won't hear the end of it. She's thinking wholesome things, spicy things, anything to do with me. If she's out shopping and sees something I'd like? No question about it TAKE HER MONEY she's buying it for me. Yelena can't go longer than 24 hours without seeing my face or she goes into withdrawals, she turns feral!

Microphone 🎤 - Does your f/o sing or play music? If so, how are they at their craft, and what’s your favorite thing about it? Armin: Does not sing or play music! He loves listening to it though! Jean: Jean play Bass guitar and electric guitar, he's pretty good at it! He's a pretty decent singer too, but he likes playing more than singing. My favorite thing about it is the confidence he gets, it's so ridiculously attractive and I'm such a loser when he gets like that. Erwin: In my mind, Erwin was 100% a theater kid. His projection voice? Ain't no way he wasn't! I think he can sing very very well, but he just never gets the chance to anymore! But, now that he knows I have the hots for any good vocals, oh, he's singing a lot more. Even if it's just simple stuff while he's in the kitchen, or he's singing along to musicals we watch. He's got a great voice!! No instruments though, I don't think. My favorite thing about this would be him doing those little musical bits while he's cooking dinner or organizing his desk! Yelena: Nope and nope. Maybe she was in band when she was a kid and had to very awkwardly play the clarinet or something, but she's not very musically inclined. She likes to listen to it as well though!

Song 🎵 - What’s a song your f/o knows by heart, and a song you know by heart? Armin: Oh, easy. Line Without A Hook by Ricky Montgomery. He knows it's a generic/popular song but it doesn't stop us BOTH from belting it in the car very poorly because it just goes that hard!! Jean: Tonight by Peter McPoland, absolutely. He LOVES this song and will always sing it any given moment. One song I know by absolute heart no questions asked is Waiting Room by Phoebe Bridgers. You won't ever catch me singing it though!! Erwin: Theater kid incoming again!! Two choices here, maybe three. I Dreamed A Dream from Les Miserables, he loves the steady incline on that song! Also, All I Ask Of You from Phantom Of The Opera! For me, deadass ANYTHING from Sweeney Todd. Most likely Epiphany or A Little Priest! Yelena: I don't know if she does...It's probably some kind of curve ball like the national anthem or the burger king whopper song that annoys the shit out of me, I'm not too sure!! For this one I'll say the Fish McBites jingle, bcus my echolalia won't let that go.

Dance 💃 - Can you or your f/o dance? Armin: Yes! I think Armin is a great dancer! He really like doing it, but he's no professional or anything, he just thinks it's fun! He knows I cannot dance and will refuse to, but I love watching him dance! Jean: ...yes? Yes. He can dance but it's very sloppy, he has great potential though. Always tries to get me to dance but he can never convince me bcus it'd just be embarrassing with both of us OFIUHSAD Erwin: Theater kid. I think he can do some stuff! I will beat this head canon into the ground!! Will insist on ballroom dancing, which he will 100% have to lead and do most of the work for cus I can't dance for the life of me. Yelena: We both can't dance but she refuses to take that as an answer! I have a drawing I did of us doing just that, here! She's super tall and I'm only JUST tall. It's hard to work with but it's silly and fun and cute <3 TYSM FOR THE ASK!! Sorry for dumping so much, a.ot is my weakness and my Ultimate Autism™️

#❤️: my dear blue boy #❤️: we'll fly away #❤️: honey thief #❤️: sprudel #❤️: Oblong idiot #❤️: I'll follow you anywhere #❤️: Life ain't worth living without the one you love #❤️: I wanna be brave like you #holy ship tags batman #WELP im glad i got to answer this!!!#i love my ao.t babes

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grimsorchard · 4 months

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my lame 2024 resolution

i'm a writer

i do a lot of other shit within "writing" (but we won't get into that lmao)

i graduated school in 2023 (two bachelor's degrees!! i am a burnt-out overachiever!!) and my job until i die is to... write. it's very comforting. i think i will work and write until i'm on my deathbed.

but during the final stretch of my thesis (and maybe before that) i struggled to find joy in this craft. i felt anxious. depressed. hopeless. it's been over six months. that feelings has only just started to go away.

so my 2024 resolution is to get back into fanfic (and fandom) on tumblr (and AO3, same username) to find joy in things i cannot and will not ever make money on.

money, publishing, agenting, managing, contracts, freelancing, and everything else that comes with this biz have been major stressors in my life. i found writing things i couldn't indie or trad publish started to feel like a waste of time. anything that wasn't going to pay my bills was this acid-like guilt that ate away at me until i was nothing but a husk of burnout

so in 2024 i am going to write for the joy of it. (probably anonymously, too) (but maybe that will change?) (idk, i think being a mystery is fun right now).

what am i gonna write??

great q!

idk. probably a lot of different things depending on what tv im consuming, books im reading or games i'm playing.

i'm really into ace attorney, baulders gate 3, and the # hero x villain tag right now so probably things falling into those tags right now.

anything else?

uhh i feel like it's important to also put in this into post that i go by she or they pronouns, and i'm both bisexual and asexual (probably the greysexual part of the ace spectrum).

that being said, homophobia, transphobia, and all forms of hate will not be tolerated on this blog. TERFS are not welcome and will be shoved out of this space (can't be nice to everyone unfortunately rip).

thanks everyone,

grim x

#mine #off my chest #new blog #introduction #intro post

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queerlord4 · 1 year

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TW: ED, SH, TRANSPHOBIA, DEATH/SEWERSLIDE

I think I'm going to die by atleast 30

also my mums way of "convincing" me to never get top surgery is by saying "by the time your old, there's gonne be nothing there" jsut because some old ladies dont got nothing, your almost 40 and... IT ONLY APPLIES TO ME APPARENTLY ALSO LADY IM NOT GONNA BE SKINNY ALL MY LIFE also you want me to be depressed all my life? and now you jsut want me to do what you want? not happening. by the time I'm 19 I'm either going to be dead or actually happy with my body a little but. also pretty sure she favourites my sister bc I asked for soemthing that was 5 dollars today and my sister the other week asked for something that was like 50 dollars and she said no to me but yes to my sister, and thinks all my interests are silly like cosplaying. she won't let me get a 3 dollar mask from a craft store so I can do a sally face cosplay. and your want me to love you with all I have, like yes I love you, you gave me life but jesus christ ma. it's kinda hard to do that when you clearly started favouring my sister after I told you I'm queer. and you still think binders are body mutilation. well shit bitch I'm going to have one by the end of this year hopefully so suck it. and UGH I hate myself I almost started crying three times today why can't I just be normal and happy like everyone else. why do I have to have anger issues, anxiety and possibly adhd. can't I just be a normal teenager instead a 5"6 faggot tranny that no one likes, not even myself when I could be like my sister, not made fun of for what I wear, read and look like. yah sorry I'm sorta pissed. now I have an eating disorder but no one believes me bc I'm not at a dangerous wileight bc my parents force me to eat, as if that's gonna make me feel better. and extremely suicidal that it's probably going to be how I die. I even relapsed into sh and I'm scared that this will be the end of me idk man maybe I'm jsut over reacting yah probably

also I really like sally face atm and this song gives me serotonin so NFKAMDIW

#yah i hate meself #tw ed relapse #i think im going to be sick #im gay and mentally ill #i think im going crazy #ughhhh #i hate myself #i hate my body #i hate me lmao #i hate my face #i hate me why am i like this #Spotify

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kienansidhe · 3 years

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saw a tiktok that was making fun of a "white boomer art show" and i was expecting it to have like some bad knockoff fake native art or smth cause ive seen that a lot here in oklahoma but it was just. a normal looking milquetoast art show. white ppl milling around. a dog. some landscape paintings and ceramics and stuff. like nothing offensive, just p average nice pretty handmade stuff.

and ppl in the comments were saying all sorts of mean shit, like oh theres no soul its completely inoffensive and void and boring, oh wow another painting of a sunset over water, youre forgetting abt the handmade soaps lol, this is what you make when youve never suffered, stuff like that. and i wanna talk abt why i find this rlly upsetting?

im not here to be like oh no dont be mean to white ppl, but white ppl arent the only ppl who make milquetoast, comfy, inoffensive art. there are plenty of artists of color who like to just make nice, simple, pretty stuff too! not everything we make has to be about our suffering! we are human fucking beings and that means we probably like sunsets and simple homemade crafts, because guess what? thats fucking normal. i say this as someone who spends an unreasonable amount of time to defend my right to make dark, tortured trauma art: art can be lukewarm and blandly pleasant too. its okay, its a healthy and relaxing outlet for lots of ppl, and acting like plain, pretty art is only for privileged white ppl is so??? nasty? spiteful? and it throws so so so many artists of color under the bus for this superiority complex of a narrative that only art that comes from suffering is real, valid, Good Art. and that fucking blows.

like im all for mocking shitty ppl, but im begging ppl to take a moment to think abt what specifically they are mocking. dont mock shitty ppls physical features that they cant control, good ppl with those same features can hear you and it hurts! dont mock shitty ppl for making pleasant art of sunsets and handmade soap, good ppl who make pleasant art of sunsets and handmade soap bc they havent lost their appreciation for every new sunset and hands on crafts and nice scents are pleasant and fulfilling can hear you and it fucking sucks to hear our crafts being shit on and like. ceded over to white ppl???

like yes! there are 10283782287 paintings of the sunset out there and on an average day i dont find them noteworthy. but someone looked up, saw something beautiful in the world, and took the time to put it on a canvas. billions of humans have stopped and appreciated the sunset, and if you think thats white you can fuck right off. crafts and artisan work are skilled work that both have practical application and can be used to make art pieces as well, something beautiful to the eye, something everyone can enjoy, and sure, a simple wheel thrown bowl is not going to evoke some deep facet of ~~colored suffering~~ but i can eat some fucking soup out of it and it looks nice and some of us have fought hard for the learning and access to be able to make simple little things like that, so calling those objects white and soulless is also fucking disgusting.

i dont care if you hate white ppl, i dont care if you wanna tell some individual white person that their art specifically is soulless, im not gonna die on the hill of protecting white ppl from mean comments. but i do care abt the artists of color who worry that our work isnt original or meaningful or valuable because it ~~doesnt tell a story~~ or it ~~doesnt offend anyone~~ or its ~~just another landscape painting~~. are we obligated to only ever talk and think abt and express our suffering in order to be valid artists of color? if we choose, after whatever weve gone thru, to make some fucking sea spray scented soap for whatever our own reasons, are you secretly sneering at us too, or do you only do that until we tell you hey, i, a person of color, made that plain, inoffensive thing youre too bitter about to even mind your own business, let alone appreciate it?

if simple, pretty, comfort art is not your thing thats okay! its not for you! you can walk away! but dont write off entire crafts and styles and genres as ~~white nonsense~~ just because it doesnt appeal to you personally. i swear to god i will steal all your ~~fine art~~ and burn it. youre not better for making provocative art, youre just expressing things in your own personal way, making the art you need to make. let other ppl do the same.

#headspace #art #ask to tag #im a little bit triggered cause i have some specific personal trauma abt this kind of thing #so please excuse me if i worded anything poorly #okay to reblog #please do tbh

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nuclearnerves · 3 years

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INCOMING VAMPIRE AU THOUGHTS

Don't mind me I'm finally getting the ideas I had on this shit out so I can actually go forward with developing it as an AU. It's my usual mixup of fps protags, Gordon Guy and John, but I'm starting with Gordon as the Vampire and Guy as the Vampire Hunter.

absolute beast of a wall of text under the cut

What If Being A Vampire Literally Sucks All The Time Forever like chronic pain sucks. like THAT level of sucks. Like Here's what I was thinking of. Being a vampire isn't just "being alive forever but you need to drink human blood" It's like Oh man I have some lore you look at vampires and their main thing is that they're blood suckers right so lets start with a corpse dead body. cadaver. no longer with us. just some rotting meat. The brain needs oxygen as fuel. The blood supplies the oxygen through blood. The blood is pumped through the heart. The blood is made by your bone marrow. You die. Your heart stops beating Blood stops pumping Brain no longer has oxygen to think marrow stops making blood thats standard! Now, becoming undead, as a vampire, is a little more complicated. The long and short of it is: your body is FIGHTING ACTIVELY to be alive against all odds and wins every time (immortality), but it hurts the whole way

I have the gist of it. It's like. Your heart stops. By all means, you should be dead. but the magic kicks in, and you're still thinking. Your brain is still sending signals to your muscles to move. But using what oxygen to move? whats burning in you? You don't know but you know it's just enough to get to your next meal. So you ferociously eat something, and then find you can't swallow. You can't make saliva. You barely have the energy to chew, and once you DO get something in your stomach, it immediately comes back up. Why can't you feel your pulse? What's going on? You're out of options so you figure you might as well just lie down and die. You're too tired to keep going anyway. So you do, you lie down, and you close your eyes, and you quietly hope that death is as peaceful as sleep. You realize you've actually been moving around without breathing, which makes sense because you can barely flex your diaphragm for more than a shaky wheeze. How are you thinking with such little oxygen? But as you fade from consciousness, you can feel something in you, and it's so upset, it's crying, it's filled with grief, and you instantly can tell it's your skeleton. It's your bones. You're distraught down to your marrow. You're dying. You're dying! Your heart stopped and you have no more blood! You need blood! You need blood to move! To breathe! To think! You try to breath deep again for the voices in your bones, trying to comfort them, to sooth them with the repetitive motion in your lungs, trying to fill yourself with anything but grief, but they keep wailing. We make the blood, our creation, our child, what we put all of our work into is gone! gone! gone! We need it back! Anything! All of it! Find it! Bring it back to us! We're hungry! WE'RE HUNGRY!

and once you find yourself too exhausted to listen, to think, how badly you wish just to die already to cease hearing this wailing, you find your body moving without you. And it's hungry and it's searching and it's crawling on all fours and it misses its beautiful red life that made it feel so full before and it needs it back, and the next thing you know you're desperately grabbing anything with blood in it and shoving it in your mouth in a desperate attempt to sooth this cry for life, you don't want to die, you don't want to die, you worked so hard to keep up this body and craft it and LIVE with it and you're not going to go, and even when you try, even when you try to lay down and die, your body refuses, it takes the reigns, and it keeps up the work itself with or without your help. And it's not until your stomach is full and your teeth are stained and you feel a pulsating burning in your bones that you snap back awake, completely conscious, just fine. You're lucid, you don't feel any more pain. Everything around you is dead and drained and messy and your heart still isn't beating. but you can breathe now and holy shit you guess you literally need to kill to survive and the less you eat and the more you starve yourself the worse it gets when your body finally decides to take recourse.

my idea was like. "the vampires curse is actually stored in the bones, thats why the teeth get so sharp and also theres a connection between blood and bones with the creation via bone marrow" its literally like i was sitting there thinking "no no no, whats it like to be a vampire. what neurosis would you develop. How would you panic? What are common mistakes beginner vampires make" which, by the way, gordon is a beginner vampire

so now you gotta factor, what blood lasts for how long? how long can you go between meals? not only that, but what creatures satisfy the urge? How long can you go avoiding human blood? Does it work like drugs where you develop a resistance to the high, or is it like food where it will keep you moving until you eat again? How the fuck are you gonna get your hands on blood? Can you just eat raw meat? Does that count? and thats where im at lol

OKAY now. now thoughts on beginning scenes of vampire au

So my idea was this Doomguy is a vampire hunter independent and one of his buds says that some freak scared and almost attacked his daughter when she got too close to his old abandoned laboratory up the hill and hes like “he might be… you know… a problem. if you needed a lead” and guys like yeah i fuckin hate the undead ill kill this dude so he busts into old lab space and sees so many dead animals its actually mostly Bones and pelt that hes seeing piles of feathers etc so hes like yeah this is all telltale signs of vampire uhhh hes introduced to gordon SOMEHOW im not totally sure of the details but the working idea i have is guy falls into a trap gordon devised that restrains him suspended in wire or something and gordon like. limps/stumbles into the room and this dude looks haggard he’s breathing heavy, his cheeks are hollow, he’s bug-eyed and shaking while looking at this massive wall of meat in his trap and he bares a bunch of hideous teeth and grits them and looks like hes really struggling with somethin... Like if these dudes don't know each other then Gordon might give in and try to drain Guy, and Guy would absolutely do anything in his power to turn this new vampire into ash, im thinking the inclusion if g-man as a coven leader can fix both issues.

i like the idea of guy falling into gordons trap and gordon thinking about what to do with him before gman shows up and whisks gordon away for a “meeting” while complimenting him on his good work catching the most feared vampire hunter in the country and gman just leaving guy suspended in wires that he has to fight his way out of. Instant situation defuser.

Guy ends up needing to take care of other monsters before going back to Gordon, and he DOES plan to go back to gordon, because no vampire is a good one, especially not one associated with the fucking head of a coven, but next time he sees Gordon, Gordon helps him out of a scrape by attacking and draining a combine who was going to take Guy out or something and escaping before Guy can catch him, or otherwise seeing Gordon do something good with his insane undead powers and like, the third time he meets up with him is when they can actually talk, and Gordons fuckin SO haggard, he’s not even fighting back and he’s even going as far as to say “just make sure theres nothing of me left when you’re done, I don’t want anyone else getting hurt”

Side Note: Guy has a bunch of scarring on his body from dealing with vampires, cops, ghosts, werewolves, anything violent that kills people. I'm playing with the inkling of an idea that he has Divine Blood in him, so that any time something undead bites him or tries to drink his blood, it burns. We'll see.

Side Note 2: now i really like the idea of the combine actually being an organized faction of vampire hunters that are WICKED crooked and exploit people for all their worth in exchange for their “safety” when they kill a vampire They’re essentially loansharks and Guy fucking hates them and hates the name theyve given to vampire hunting

Side Note 3: You've probably noticed that I haven't said anything about John yet! He's in this too. His species is a surprise but I need to get to him later I have an idea for where he came from (Cortana too)

I still need a good reason for Guy to not instantly kill this vampire, if not it's just gonna be "Gordon Freeman escapes the countrys best vampire hunter like a seventh time" every time they meet and they end up being rivals. And it gives Guy enough time to look past the whole "undead monster" thing and start looking at the "Oh this dude figured out how to fight his ridiculous craving for blood in a way more humane than most and is actually staying out of peoples way and keeping to himself. Guess he's not that big of a threat but I still need to keep an eye on him in case he loses it. Turns out he's got a family (Probably Alyx, Eli, Issac and Barney) who's been lookin for him and cares about him as well, don't wanna hurt them". I like the idea of them ending up needing to team up to take out undead together.

And that's what I got so far!!!

#freeguy #gordon freeman #doomguy #vampire au #freeguy117

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myrfing · 2 years

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onward to zone3 after getting my ass run around by. Yeah I started crafting. endwalker spoilers ahead. also do the sidequests they are good and you may learn some funy things.

z1 / z2 / z3 / z4 / z5

- they fucking knew what they would do to me

- you are definitely going to be doing that old man

- LMFAOOOOOO ESTINIEN STILL GHOSTING AYMERIC

- ha ha uh oh it's getting hazy

- AUDIBLY WENT AUEGH UEUGH SEEING GAIUS AGAIN GO BACK INTO YOUR HOLE

- HI LYSE AND IS THAT FUCKING GUYDELOT AND SANSON LMFAO?

- OOOOH YSHTOLA TAKING SOME HEAT FROM LYSE god I've missed them together so much

- oh god you're not gonna lecture us about how the garleans are human like we don't know this again are you. i need video games to move on from this shallow angle. like I fully agree it's wrong to forsake the civilians in garlemald if we’re gonna be there anyways but the narrative here is just annoying

- aww alisaie asking for xrhun. me too

- CIRINA SADU REAL

- omfg this is so much fanservice to people who played a ton of classes and read all the text. hi people

- that was. the coolest duty ever hi. cirina sadu real also like real real

- im not doing it justice that shit blew my rocks clean off

- magnai hanging around thirdwheeling cirina and sadu cause he doesnt know anyone else is so funnnyyy

- the entire setup of this with everyone talking about the things they brought to the illsabard contingent and talking about what's familiar to them what songs they sing what they drink to keep warm...really drives home the feeling that this game has grown so familiar to me

- this dude says he's doman in a previous dialogue but now he's of the steppe? <- remembers because I immediately ran up to him thinking he was malaguld

- the fucking radio playing some garlean song around the refugees. atmospherique

- the garleans are weird-weird as expected. purity intact. ok

- thinking about gourd here...hrmg. yeah he is a lot less. compassionate or empathetic here than the twins. weird to say about him but he really really does not like garlean loyalists and has no patience for them even knowing they're mega brainwashed and obviously just not in a good place. if they choose nationalism or some nebulous idea of purity over survival and attacked him or another he would simply concede and kill them and not really think much of it to be hawnest. or just leave them to die. maybe this is his worst trait but fundamentally he lacks that "feeling" of humanity (like…he almost just doesn’t ever pity people or really feels mercy moreso than chooses it) and his "goodness" is almost a direct result of him trying to compensate for that when he was young. ultimately because he cared about people but well. in situations like these it's clearer that he just doesn’t…care & if you choose to be awful he kind of sees it as a you choose your own fate then thing. but he wont disrespect the wishes of people he's loyal to so

- that being all said I was kind of hoping the story would go in the direction of the way most peace corps fail so it is interesting even if frustrating because le severe disconnect to the values presented here

- but honestly. being forced to handle something stupidly and then having your character feel guilt over it is so. :| he does not. like yep we made things worse and we probably will continue make things worse for a lot of people and have already and killed a ton of people for far less who WERENT turboracist nationalism poisoned hyper conservative wastes of time how is this different. because they’re no longer a threat ig

- putting this here instead from a post i blew up but again I really feel like some writers in imperialist countries especially automatically apply the way they see “others” onto everyone else and then even attempts to subvert this are still based on the same idea. like they can’t think from the pov of the other side of the ones who are actually called the savages and destroyed based on the circumstances of their birth it always has to shift to a grey area that’s palatable to them. i just dont think it’s remotely fair or honest to try to insinuate that the rest of the world hates garleans because of innate prejudice and their dehumanization of them and not the uh, constant wars and occupation they wrought based on ideas of complete assimilation and racial supremacy. like even with the “they drove us into the mountains and took our homeland first” thing. like it wasn’t the fucking eorzeans or the othardians or the nagxians or rabanstrans who did that and yet the dudes have scarred generations upon generations with their cruelty and violence anyways it was unnecessary. no there is no such thing as defensive imperialism

- very noble but they totally put those collars on you and on the pows they tortured but suddenly it's all about their suffering

- luv the honesty of all the garleans that are like You're ugly you're disgusting I want to kill you. that's thee spirit

- THIS IS THE funniest option ive ever been given

- aww he's warming up to us. (pretending to care)

- is ask the iyi code for killing yourselves via me

- alphinaud being like I learned to look above the politics <3 Sorry I haven't and also you probably shouldnt put in categorizing by race on the same boat as categorizing by creed

- said that but immediately softened towards the remainder after their surrender. flavius we are friends now

- THERE SANOTHER SOUP QUEST FROM AN ISHGARDIAN NO LESS

- oh my god it's directly tied to the ishgard soup quest. hello. are they listening to me

- the way your wol kneels to speek at level w/ people now...it's so good

- ohh...too cool

- I SMELL FUCKING NERO AFOOT THAT CREEP IN THE CORNER "FLAXEN HAIRED ENGINEER"

- you know I like the idea of the garleans just chilling out in the mountains. no more fucking empire just tinkering with trains up there or whatever though the entire nation was built on the goal of expansion so lmfao probably have to redo that

- omfg zenos gtfo it was a nice moment. i was all like aww okay yeah his relief and lucia & maxima are so nice & then of course You Get Fandaniel'd!

- FIRST HE MAKES ME LOOK AT HIS POS SPIRIT HALLOWEEN LONG TABLE AND NOW HE TAKES GOURD GET OUTTTT YOU FREAK

- ARE WE NOT GOING BACK FOR THE SOLDIER THAT GAVE ME THE KEY?

- oh wow I thought anima was gonna be a trial. ok that concludes this arc all the extremely heavyhanded garlean sympathizing [never REALLY gets to bring up how they enforced this same brutality upon their colonies because we have to extend Kindness to them and maybe you’re just prejudiced against the colonizers they have feelings too and now they’re suffering a pathetic death you have to save them from even as they call you savages and spit on you but that’s just cus they’re having a really hard time poor things Ah hah hah] stuff was. well. also a lot of sidequests have you work with turbo garlean nationalists which is just odd but overall it definitely has some of THE coolest duties in the game & the atmosphere was really well done. And i liked the portrayal of the emotions of surrender and relief even if I have mine issues

#6.0 spoilers #ffxiv

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 4 years

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pls scream about Leo a lil bit cause my love for that man is neverending and i live for you guys' blog,,, and ur comte love fuels me??? head empty except for those two pureblood clowns

HNGNGNG I hope that both you and everyone that reads my shenanigans knows how utterly understood I feel when I see anyone stan Comte, if not both of those idiot purebloods bc good lord...I live for two tired fossil men that just want DOMESTIC BLISS. Literally they have no brain cells beyond respect women and we love that for us, it’s spectacular!!

Under a cut bc I went off and is long:

That being said I’d be happy to yell abt Leo!! Where do I even begin, this man was the reason I got into Ikevamp in the first place, and I’ve read just about every single one of his events at this point. He just makes me so TENDER!!!!!! For whatever reason the first thing that came to mind was this one time he lies about being jealous and MC is lolol u a fool if you think I can’t tell when you lie to me. And he’s so fuckiNG SHOOK?????? It’s even funnier because she’s internally like [I’m not 100% sure but for a second there he almost looked mad...time to test this theory even if it’s just A GAME T H E O R Y] And he’s so fucking pikachu meme that shit sends me. I can’t handle the fact that he’s so used to people just assuming he’s fine, that he can handle himself. That he’s lived for so long without really anyone noticing at all. (Comte absolutely notices and will lightly roast him, but doesn’t really push him about it or wants to overstep). And so when MC just actively pays attention and is so gentle with him he’s just floored???

God I’m crying now, but I will just never forget the funeral scene in his fucking rt. This asshole, this absolute moron, straight up tries to come at us with “yOu GeT uSeD tO iT aFtEr HaLf A mIlLeNiUm, i’M nOt SaD”. Like are you serious. Come here and let me hold you before I throttle you. Absolute clown. He’s just always trying so hard to get by on his own and it breaks my heart. How long...how long has he lived just getting by, nursing his own wounds and dragging himself up all by himself. HE LEFT HOME AT LIKE 14 (whatever the fuCK SOME TOO YOUNG AGE) AND RAN STRAIGHT INTO THE HANDS OF PEOPLE THAT HATED HIM FOR HIS TALENT. HE REMEMBERS HIS MENTORS DESTROYING HIS UTENSILS WHILE TRYING TO ESCAPE PARENTS THAT WHOLEHEARTEDLY REJECTED ANY EXPRESSION OF LOVE OR COMPASSION FOR HUMANITY THAT HE CHERISHED SO DEEPLY. I DON’T NEED SLEEP I NEED TO HUG HIM IMMEDIATELY FUCKING HELL.

Like.........there’s just........I don’t know how to explain it, but I once saw it explained so well in a post. It was basically talking about Castlevania, and how in that show Dracula sees humanity’s folly and develops so much hatred he just goes straight to murder rage. And while in some ways I understand that, I understand even more deeply Trevor’s response to humanity’s fear and violence. He says that he knows they’re short-sighted, that maybe we all just don’t deserve saving...but that he’s going to do it anyway. Leonardo just so much gives me that energy of knowing there’s so much pain in the world, but all we can do is keep walking--keep trying, even if we have to claw our way forward. Because if you only see the awfulness in front of you, you forget the way that strangers make silly faces at babies to make them laugh on the train, how a friend will put everything down to race over to someone and comfort them with some ice cream--do anything they can to distract them from the hurt. How the sight of a child crying will prompt careful cooing from a stranger as to their bravery, an offering of cool water, the gentle placement of a bandaid. How a pair of teenagers will spot a lost child in milliseconds and help them seek out their parents protectively. There is so much wretchedness, but also so much beauty in it all, and the older I get the more I see myself wanting to believe in the latter. I want to be hopeful, and easily impressed, and full of love. To be bitter and jaded accomplishes nothing, and only becomes a worsening self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you seek negativity, the more you will find it; and worse, create it.

I also scream a little bit bc like. I’ve gone on and on about how Comte is very obviously in love with MC all the time, and sure that may be true. But...I really don’t think Leo is exempt from that either if I’m honest lmfao. Only because what does Leonardo do when it isn’t his route? He almost never shows up. Once in a while he might appear for a split second in a scene, but he almost never converses with MC beyond those short moments. While Comte is the one to pine openly, I’d wager Leo is the opposite. He pines in absolute silence, because he knows that if he gets any closer--he’s going to fall. He’s going to enjoy it too much, going to keep seeking out more before he can stop himself. And losing another person he loves...he just can’t do it anymore. In his first meeting story he talks about seeing MC’s eyes and feeling like he’d known them all his life, and even in his MS he speaks to just being completely fascinated by and enamored of her. She doesn’t hesitate, always does her best, meets people head-on and without much hesitation. After a lifetime of people that are probably just immediately interested in him for his talents, or always seeking out his company for the novelty, this is someone that doesn’t give a single fuck if he’s Leonardo da Vinci. Sure she’s aware, and sure she’s impressed to some extent, but her respect--her attraction and admiration--is something that has to be earned.

There’s something so refreshing about how their love was written. Sure it’s the whole fake marriage to a real relationship, but it’s also a kind of subtle enemies to lovers pulled off masterfully. MC is 100% minding her own business, just wants to do what she must in order to get home, tries to focus on her work to keep from thinking about how much she misses her old life. She doesn’t rely on anyone, doesn’t talk about how hard it is or how scary it is or how confusing. And even Leonardo forgets in his curiosity, is just chillin and also just trying to do the bare minimum to keep from getting too attached--figures he can admire her from a distance. And then he sees her staring at the hourglass. And suddenly, he can’t just watch her do that herself. Just wait for the hard times to pass, just sit with her own loneliness--that hollowing silence. There’s something so moving about it because he reaches out precisely because he knows that feeling to his fucking marrow, and literally just cannot watch somebody else do that to themselves. Sure he’s been dealing with it for three hundred years, BUT THIS GOOD BABIE CHILD DOES NOT DESERVE THIS. SHE WORKS HARD AND DESERVES NICE THINGS!!!!!!!! And so he drives her crazy as he races ahead of her, intercepting any attempt for her to preserve that silence and hide. She doesn’t see any pattern to it, and that’s just how he likes it--he doesn’t want her to worry about the how or why.

Like I fully remembering playing in Japanese and being like oh my fucking god this is hilarious, this man is just a wild fucker and I love this. I was enjoying myself, mostly laughing and shaking my head. But then it just gets so, so serious. I was having so much fun that I, like a fool, forgot the anime effect. If you’re having fun, it’s going to come crashing down without mercy soon enough. And it does. He helps a little girl without any hope play her violin again, and maybe I’m just too English major but I was fucking FLOORED when I realized I didn’t see that that was straight foreshadowing. That little girl without hope? That was MC (and by extension depending on how you play, us). Though the metaphor isn’t quite so easily mapped without a physical space, the connection is clear when you think about it. With his careful social awareness, he makes a place for MC to exist in the mansion so naturally--as though she was meant to be there from the start, crafts a positive impression of her presence with each of the residents. And he does it with zero expectation of anything in return; he’s just happy to see her not stressing herself out anymore or trying to do everything alone. MC doesn’t fall in love with him despite their differences, she falls in love with him because they are the same in a singular and all-encompassing way that matters; they both care about other people so deeply, to the point where they will forego any personal needs in order to make that person’s life easier. Whether it be muting their own hardship, or working to involve another person in a new space (or opening up to the point of self-destruction to keep a person from feeling alone), they go above and beyond what anybody asks of them--perhaps strong to the point of their own detriment, in some cases.

It’s why I always laugh when he says to Sebastian “That cara mia, she has a good heart.” Of course she does, Leonardo; it certainly takes one to know one.

And because I literally have no brain cells beyond being in fucking love with Leonardo THE LAKE SCENE IS AN AFFRONT TO MY DIGNITY AND SELF-CONTROL. HOW DARE YOU, SIGNORE. HOW DARE YOU ASK ME TO SIT THERE AND WATCH YOU OPEN YOUR HEART TO ME AND NOT BAWL MY EYES OUT AND TRY TO KISS YOU ALL AT THE SAME TIME. SIGNORE “hAhA yOu’Re So SmAlL yOu LoOk LiKe YoU’rE DrOwNiNg In My CoAt.” I WOULD DROWN AND DIE HAPPY--BITCH I TELL YOU THAT.

Like. I can’t think of another route I’ve ever done where I spent a good amount of time like “lmfao this guy is so wild im gonna punch him” to just be in a whirlpool of my own tears, regretting my entire fucking LIFE days later. Like Leonardo’s cultural impact???? Fucking immeasurable, I wish every white man disaster I ever met had a hidden heart of gold in all of his boyish dumbassery, an ICONIC himbo of our time.

Also because I remembered it before posting and I am Dying^TM. The event where MC was a pureblood and he was human. That entire fucking event. I literally can’t think about it without screaming and crying. Her just so flustered at his reaction to her like “oh look, free real estate” as he plops her in his lap, absolutely no fear, treating her like a princess because of her noble title despite NO NECESSITY BEYOND PLAYFULNESS BUT ALSO STILL MEANING IT IN AN EARNEST WAY, being charming to no END just to see her laugh or look away shyly.

WHEN HE SAID. WHEN HE SAID “...Can’t leave you alone, or you might go off someplace I can’t follow.” I. CONGRATULATIONS, YOU STRIPPED DEVOTION DOWN TO ITS BARE ESSENTIALS!!!!!! GAH HOW MC HERSELF SAYS “I would tell him the truth but...he’s much too generous for a human. I know he would offer his life without a moment’s hesitation.” How Leo describes the aftermath of her biting him: “Lucky for you, I’m a true gentleman, Unlike my principessa, who took me like a storm” HELLO??????? H E L L O ???????????????????????? ARE WE JUST GOING TO SLEEP ON THE FACT THAT HE LOST HIS ENTIRE SOUL WHEN SHE BIT HIM???? I--

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

(Also as much as I love him the cigarillos have got to go at some point, boy do you have any idea the shit secondhand smoke does good lordt)

#asks #ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp comte #can you feel me going through 800 different emotions in the course of writing this #fucking hell #he absolutely kills me i love him so much #would do ANYTHING for him #if you listen v closely you can hear the soft sound of me grabbing tissues #god i was just rewatching some of his events and i just #THE SHEER WARMTH OF HIS PRESENCE HOW IT WASHES OVER YOU WHILE READING #IM SHAKING AND CRYING I LOVE HIM SO MUCH #SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#like leo is just one of those routes where its like 'my life was before and after this moment'#otome is honestly destroying my standards OTL #he just makes me feel So Much my coherence disappears #brain cells???? don't know her only Leo tiddy #in conclusion: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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bladekindeyewear · 3 years

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HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-12-25

I’m not going to spend time BLOGGING an upd8 on Christmas morning!

...yes I am who the fuck am I kidding. (Bonus stuff and Hiveswap are still well on hold though.)

So are we gonna follow up on the main ship? Probably not, right, with that perfect Karkat point to cut away, right? We’re just going to leave Roxy’s question hanging, as well as makeouts etiquette, and leave while having seen a COUPLE FRAMES of non-possessed canon Jade with only whatever fun fanart was inspired across the internet by the moment to tide us over????

Yeah, probably.

Ugh, more Dirk. I guess it’s overdue. :(

> CHAPTER 16. Welcome to my Secret Lair

Oh huh, I guess not? So... Jane’s, or Rose and Kanaya’s?

Karkat stays for longer than John thought he would. They talk a bit, but mostly they are quiet. Eventually, Karkat gets called away on yet more important war business, leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had.

Pretty much, yeah. Can’t blame either of them.

When Karkat is finally gone, John still doesn’t move. It isn’t as though he has nowhere else to go, since there are quite a few places he might attempt to make himself useful, for better or for worse.

You’re still abandoning the task that was explicitly yours to protect your literal kid and his friends, but, oh well. Low-point. Dave dead, house dead, broke news, I get it.

He just doesn’t feel ready for that yet. The remnants of his house are still smoldering, and he can’t stop staring at them. It would make sense, he thinks, to want to root around through the rubble for anything that’s still intact; some half-charred keepsake to claim as the last thing left that’s still his. But he doesn’t want to do it, and he doesn’t want to think about it. And he still can’t move.

Can’t move. No Breath huh? What’s going to get him to, then?

> (==>)

Oh boy, that might help. XD She’s pretty good at that.

> (==>)

Still with the waistline gap. And was his phone always yellow like his God-Tier shoes?

ROXY: hey john can u do me a quick solid ROXY: actly idk how quick itll be but its definitely solid ROXY: harry anderson says i just missed u being here but could u skip back on over?

Nice, huh! No judgment, just a hey-any-chance-you-could-swing-back. He sort of needs to be needed right now, in a simple, almost everyday non-judgmental way I guess. (That’s what he NEEDED anyway-- whether he deserved it though is up for debate.)

ROXY: i need help w/smth and yr darling boy is holed up in his room working on some fuckin craft project or other and cant be bothered

YES SEW JOHN A BETTER FITTING FUCKING OUTFIT

ROXY: and now that me and u are freshly on speakin terms again i might as well take advantage of that olive branch and put u to work ROXY: assumin you havent died in an air raid, that is ROXY: which id also be interested in knowin about so if u wld be so kind as to reply instead of leavin me hangin

Heheheh. Gosh Roxy is always the best.

JOHN: yea yea sorry im here. JOHN: i just had a hard time getting my phone out of these fucking tiny pants.

Hah.

JOHN: and also my house is bombed out so i'm kinda grappling with that. JOHN: but i honestly am not sure how much longer i need to sit around staring at it. trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so JOHN: short version is no i’m not dead, and yeah i can come back over there and help you out. ROXY: oh sweet yr alive and down to do manual labor its a win/win JOHN: see you soon.

Yep! Pulled away from all the metaphorical, ultra-meaningful bullshit, back to some brass tacks with some easy humor. Definitely something Roxy can do well.~

> (==>)

EXCUSE ME. What is that outfit and pose. Did you--

ROXY: sup ROXY: follow me ROXY: well were just going to my room so i guess technically u know the way JOHN: haha ok.

Did you invite him over for the manual labor of banging you while your son is sewing in the other room

Or maybe the labor is making him a new sibling. JFC

Is this plan part of why we got the sudden content warning that was mocked or was that mainly for Hiveswap

John follows, trying to shake the ominous feeling he got from what she’d just said. He’d been in and out of this house a lot in the past few days. Why should this be any different?

I DUNNO JOHN DOES THIS SEEM DIFFERENT TO YOU

> (==>)

Yea this seems like a fucc room.

JOHN: it’s not like i could forget! ROXY: ya i guess u only really saw the living room when you were here the other day but i have changed some stuff up ROXY: done a lil redecoratin here n there

So it’s MORE of a fucc room than previously >__>”

ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out ROXY: but so far so good

Ah geez.

ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!

Well, that’ll buff out easy.

ROXY: can i get u anything? ROXY: just made some coffee JOHN: no, uh, i’m good.

Of course she has a fancy handled winecoffeeglass (and the handle does look ridiculous but it’d be too hot to hold otherwise)

Roxy shrugs and swirls her own coffee around in her novelty mug. John looks around. A lot about the room is the same. The family photos, the rug. There’s a lot more cat stuff in there now, though. The bed is new. John feels like he’s about to take a test he hasn’t studied for. He makes himself focus on what she’s saying.

That would be the feeling.

> (==>)

MY GOD. Roxy is so fucking good at this holy shit

She KNOWS she’s making him squirm and she loves it

JOHN: so uh anyway. JOHN: what was this favor? ROXY: yo why dont u just come rest yr tush for a bit ROXY: take a lil relax next 2 me here JOHN: haha uh. JOHN: roxy i uh. JOHN: im flattered, but i don’t know if that’s really the right step right now. JOHN: don’t get me wrong, everything seems so fucked up right now that when i try to think about what might actually BE the right step, it feels like a huge cartoon question mark might physically manifest over my head. JOHN: but I’m not sure if um rekindling our physical relationship is really the best--

So is Roxy trolling him, about to reveal she wasn’t thinking of sex and was just making things seem sultry? Or just had “lol jk” as an option-select, maybe.

> (==>)

ROXY: r u kiddin me rn egbert JOHN: i’m not? unless you were, in which case yeah lets say i was also kidding. JOHN: oh my god, i’m sorry, i don’t know why this making me freak out.

OH NOOO NOT THE DISDAAAAIN - CRITICAL HIT D:

ROXY: i remember our past boot knockin with fondness but that is a situation im not interested in revisiting

boot knockin XD

ROXY: look john ROXY: i was trying to be polite about it ROXY: offering u sustenance n rest n all ROXY: but you look like shit ROXY: i just wanted to catch up on the whole heinous war situation were in and maybe check in on e/o before leaping strait to the real n actual nonsexual manual labor favor i have in mind for u JOHN: oh.

Hey, she can’t help looking sexy she’s too good at it.

Is the manual labor moving the crashed cars? Can’t Roxy pull that off on her own, or... banish the cars to the void or something? (Oh, but WOULD she want to do it on her own when she can rope in John and bring him down to earth by giving him a useful task? And admittedly his strength and wallet would make things easier.)

John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced?

Probably some gender stuff mixed up in there too, June.

He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.

Just put your feet up yeah

> (==>)

WHAT A CUTE IMAGE

JOHN: sorry. like i said, my "how to react to stuff" meter is completely fucked right now. ROXY: thats fair bud

she’s used to being patient with you don’t worry otherwise you never would’ve gotten this far

ROXY: real fast i do need to do a quick takeback of all that shit i said last time we talked about janey not being literally the most evil person we knew or whatever ROXY: i guess i was hopped up on arguin or somethin since that was before we hit our conversational vibe bc of course u were right and i shoulda listened

Ouch. Yeah, we saw just lately just how far off the deep end she was. (Where was that funny upd8 reaction art summarizing the bit where Kanaya was holding Tavros hostage and Jane was transparently debating “hmm do I let my son die?” and Kanaya and Tavros were just looking at each-other flat-mouthed nervous? I REALLY wanted to share that but I don’t usually want to reblog or put most stuff HS^2 not under a read-more, for spoiler purposes, usually.)

ROXY: im just glad ur ok ROXY: or like alive JOHN: yeah, jury's still out on "ok" but, you know. ROXY: ya ROXY: u said ur house is gone?? JOHN: yep. JOHN: completely. ROXY: jeez ROXY: i would ask how ur feelin but like the answer 2 that has got 2b "prtty bad"

Talk it ouuuut~~ get those feels out there and articulated john

JOHN: yeah. JOHN: i mean. JOHN: no? JOHN: it’s weird. JOHN: it feels like it should be a bigger deal, I guess? JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE. JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house? JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self? JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know? JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something? JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames. JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it. JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late? JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison. JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good. JOHN: but that’s just bullshit. JOHN: it DID feel good. JOHN: i DO feel free. JOHN: sorry.

I was kind of saying some Breath/Blood stuff at the time of him losing his last tie to his stubborn sticking-to-his-kid-self bit? Except now we’re mixing it in with June Egbert and his gender-identity questions too.

ROXY: no need 2 apologize ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.

Oh shit

ROXY: well no i just meant like i did some sharing ROXY: like referrin 2 the topic i brought up when we chatted last ROXY: but like now that u mention it ROXY: *meaningful pause* JOHN: … JOHN: i JOHN: ROXY: lol well we can move on 2 the favor part if youd rather ROXY: stick a lil pin in that topic n come back 2 it when u have had sleep

Are you just INCREDIBLY incisive Roxy or have you and John talked about this before?

ROXY: like i said the other day its not like this shits figureoutable in 1 sitting anyways JOHN: yeah... ROXY: sooooooo ROXY: movin on

It’s just fine for Roxy to slow-roll this yeah, if she’s going to pry open that door a little

ROXY: dont be mad but theres a part of the house u didnt know abt the whole time u lived here JOHN: what? ROXY: yea ROXY: i got a secret lair ROXY: for my sciences

OH FUCK YES SCIENCE LAB, of COURSE Roxy would want a cool science lab basement because she always wants a cool science lab basement

ROXY: and i get to it via a transportalizer underneath our bed ROXY: which is 2 heavy 2 move by my lonesome so i just needed to borrow some o your aforementioned powers of wind

Okay no. Wait. What the fuck?

First of all, as funny and MSPaintAdventures-y as furniture being in the way of things is, why would you block it with a bed too heavy to move, but,

Second of all, more importantly, how is a GOD-TIER ROXY not strong enough to lift a heavy bed?!?!?!? Either she’s lying to get John involved in things or this is a gendered cop-out because these characters are superheroes at the TOP of their echeladders, given obnoxiously powerful video-game strength and athletics only to then have ascended into DEITIES. God-Tier Roxy could probably have lifted a bed like that when she was SEVENTEEN! And now she’s an ADULT, out-of-shape or otherwise! If this were a whole CAR I might be willing to handwave it, but just a heavy BED?!? And none of the GUYS are going to have this much trouble lifting a bed like this, are they?? This just feels like following classic cartoony gender tropes in the complete absence of these characters’ super powers, what the fuck, and also Roxy if you didn’t make it Transportalizer-only access you could have given it an entrance you could phase through with your fancy powers to get to. FUCK.

This feels stupid.

ROXY: so if u dont mind woosh away JOHN: uh ok, well... JOHN: a secret science lair, sure, i can deal with that. JOHN: why not! JOHN: it doesn’t work out great when i do the windy thing indoors, though. ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

You’re already THIS sensitive about gendertalk?

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push ROXY: we both got sick muscles ROXY: no other adjectives necessary JOHN: yeah ok. ROXY: on 3?

Please, please reinforce the idea that they both have sick strength, because they fucking do and the idea that Roxy actually a hundred percent NEEDED John to do this is BS.

> (==>)

JOHN: holy shit? ROXY: sorry to lop yet another huge scoop onto ur lil brains ice cream revelation sundae JOHN: so wait, if this thing's always been under the bed, how’d you get down here before without me? ROXY: well thats neither here nor there john JOHN: i mean it is kinda. Here. ROXY: fine ok checkmate ROXY: i dont ACTUALLY need ur nerdgrit for this escapade ROXY: like im sorry but i said it ROXY: i mostly just wanted to see you and show u wats down here

THANK FUCKING CHRIST.

If that wasn’t actually just a lie to get him involved I was going to stay SO mad. Of COURSE Roxy can move a fucking BED no matter how heavy it is. OF COURSE.

ROXY: and also uve been ~sent for~ JOHN: ok but like ROXY: john i am inviting u 2 my inner sanctum ROXY: i am literally bringing out the word "sanctum" in case u werent already clued in 2 how cool this is ROXY: so do u wanna go into my secret lair or wat JOHN: yeah!? JOHN: yes? i guess? ROXY: aight good

Yes John of course you want to stop fighting it

ROXY: then as they told me in the hospital before lil h a was born ROXY: just push

eyeroll, but yeah, of course

> (==>)

Oh cool, sprite form version of her loungewear.

> (==>)

Sorry for my compulsion to post every full-frame image of Roxy in this awesome outfi-WERE YOU KEEPING CALLIOPE UNDER YOUR BED THIS WHOLE TIME?!?????

That’s like... almost a fucking metaphor isn’t it???? For the relationship you preferred in the other timeline and possibly THIS one TOO or

ROXY: hey callieee i got him ROXY: o damn john sorry i shoulda also told u callies here weve been hangin out again ROXY: 1 more freak for ur bean

Oh huh, so this isn’t an always thing. And these two can get close in more than one timeline where it would’ve worked out nicely. :)

JOHN: oh it's ok, my bean feels pretty well adjusted to freakage at this point so keep them coming if you like! ROXY: k cool i will JOHN: do i get to know what that big thing under the sheet is? ROXY: hmmmmmm no JOHN: oh ok. JOHN: are you sure? i mean, it seems like a pretty prominent feature of the room. JOHN: space. JOHN: wherever we are. ROXY: and a totally mysterious n COMPLETELY inconspicuous feature it will have to remain for now ROXY: we r kinda in a hurry here fyi ROXY: and by that i mean ROXY: we are in precisely the amount of hurry that means im excused from having to a that specific q rn JOHN: right, sorry. JOHN: i will pay no attention to the object behind the curtain. ROXY: u catch on fast egbert ROXY: anyway theres more cool info coming so just follow me

I don’t have any big theories. Is it just the Hiveswap device or something? If Calliope helped with it it’d help explain the Cherubic theme.

> (==>)

JOHN: so... this is all downstairs? JOHN: it seems like you had a lot of work done. ROXY: well no not x actly ROXY: were in the old meteor JOHN: under the house??? ROXY: ok so ROXY: in hindsight it may have been a bit misleading 2 say like ROXY: "downstairs" ROXY: in reference to a place which is hells of buried underground and may not actually be literally under the house ROXY: but there is no time to explain all that rn john so instead im going to refer u to my adorable little green friend here CALLIOPE: #U_U# ROXY: (hehe) CALLIOPE: *AHEM* CALLIOPE: hi john! CALLIOPE: long time no see. ^u^

Cherubs just really like dark cavelike places full of weird tech don’t they.

> (==>)

THEY’RE SO CUTE

JOHN: oh, uh. hey callie! JOHN: it sure has been a while huh. JOHN: now that i think about it, the last time the three of us hung out like this... CALLIOPE: was when i was aggressively third wheeling yoUr prenUptial coUrtship? CALLIOPE: if yoU dont mind, john, i'd rather not rehash that period of oUr lives. CALLIOPE: it was more than a little painfUl for me. JOHN: oh. JOHN: god, jeez, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to-- CALLIOPE: hee hee john i am only pUlling yoUr leg, don't worry. CALLIOPE: if anything i was personally a little thrilled with how things shook oUt in that respect. CALLIOPE: imagine, if yoU will, a yoUng cherUb raised in solitUde, whose only solace was the convolUted and tUmUltUoUs romantic schemata she projected onto her only friends from another Universe. CALLIOPE: and then fUrther imagine that this yoUng cherUb, throUgh varioUs even *more* convolUted contrivances, ended Up in the company of those selfsafe friends as an eqUal participant in their sphere of social discoUrse! CALLIOPE: it is a joy the like of which yoU possibly cannot fathom. u_u

Reinforcing that things turning out this way was in fact the FANTASY that Calliope was writing over in the Canon timeline. Just, heavily, HEAVILY implied that the Candy timeline is -- or at least originated as -- Calliope’s fanfiction as a Muse of Space, and its competition for audience interest with canon is the essential conflict between alt!Calliope and Dirk (or Dirk and Andrew Hussie).

CALLIOPE: so to pUt it simply, getting to experience sUch emotional drama myself was an impossibly enriching experience. CALLIOPE: possibly a first for my species! CALLIOPE: it's actUally qUite interesting, if yoU ROXY: *nudge* CALLIOPE: oh, right. yes. i'm getting a little carried away, haha. CALLIOPE: argh, i'm sorry, this is not how i planned to begin this vital conversation.

Vital conversation? What sorta truth-bombs are coming?

CALLIOPE: but to sUmmarise, what i was trying to say is: CALLIOPE: don't beat yourself Up aboUt it john. CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr. CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point. JOHN: hahaha!!! JOHN: okay, well that's good to know! CALLIOPE: ^u^

Holy SHIT that was savage! And we’ll NEVER know whether or not she really intended it so savagely, either.~

JOHN: so um... JOHN: i hear that there's this big secret thing you wanna tell me about? CALLIOPE: oh right, yes of course! CALLIOPE: let me jUst say first of all how thrilled i am that yoU're on board. CALLIOPE: i wasn't sUre if yoUr natUral inclinations woUld have preclUded yoUr coming to such a place as this, and yet here yoU are. CALLIOPE: this whole endeavoUr will be *so* mUch easier with yoUr help.

Uh oh.

Hopefully babies aren’t involved.

JOHN: oh! well, shucks. JOHN: not really sure what that means but i'm just glad to be of use somewhere, haha. JOHN: which, speaking of somewhere, CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are. CALLIOPE: how much do yoU know aboUt black holes? JOHN: um... like, the big space things? CALLIOPE: they aren't always big actUally, and in fact their relative smallness is practically their defining qUality. JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: bUt okay i think we are on the same page. CALLIOPE: so, what if i told yoU that we are inside of a black hole right now.

Oh dear, we’re getting into the canon/noncanon divide?

JOHN: um... JOHN: like, HERE? JOHN: we just transportalized into a black hole? CALLIOPE: no, i mean, what if oUr whole WORLD was inside a black hole. JOHN: ok.

Yeah, that’s gonna be John’s reaction. “ok.” Pretty much inevitable.

CALLIOPE: earth c, or at least oUr version of it, has, from the moment we crossed the victory threshold, been inside a black hole. JOHN: ok. CALLIOPE: and not just any black hole, bUt the very black hole in which the green sUn Ultimately met its demise, allowing oUr victory in the first instance! JOHN: huh! ROXY: ("huh!") ROXY: (rofl my fucking ao egbert) JOHN: (shhhh!)

And Roxy enjoys his non-reaction reactions as much as we do, hehe.

CALLIOPE: bUt, paradoxically, the critical moment which determined its capture within the black hole happened *after* that point. CALLIOPE: i refer of coUrse to yoUr decision not to retUrn to the mediUm and fight my brother. JOHN: wait, wait. JOHN: you mean, the meat and candy thing? JOHN: oh my god. JOHN: you mean i actually DID make a mistake that day. CALLIOPE: well, that's not exactly what that-- JOHN: ugh, i fucking KNEW it! JOHN: i'm so sorry. JOHN: i'm so sorry that i put the earth inside a black hole everyone. ): ROXY: john ROXY: listen ROXY: u have got to get out of this mindset i am begging you JOHN: ):

Yeah shake him out of this shit.

ROXY: your choice literally didnt matter ROXY: the whole thing was symbolic in the first place ROXY: literally symbolic in the case of the picnic i mean come on ROXY: it was just some steak and a plate of candy suckers JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: i mean, i wouldn't go so far as to say that the meal we shared was unimportant, given the sacred significance of the two options i presented. CALLIOPE: but yes, yoUr choice of snack was infinitely less important than the choice which it presaged. CALLIOPE: and even then, calling it a choice woUld be sorely misleading. CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip. CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads". CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads. JOHN: you mean we ended up with the bad possibility. CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are". JOHN: o...kay... CALLIOPE: u_u

Yeah, it’s going to take a bit more than that to convince him he didn’t make the “wrong decision”.

CALLIOPE: i realise that this may be a lot to process. CALLIOPE: it's easy to forget that this wasn't obvioUs to everyone from the beginning. CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity. JOHN: oh, wow. JOHN: um. JOHN: ok so, sorry if this is a dumb question to ask suddenly, but what does being inside of a black hole actually... mean for us? JOHN: is that bad? JOHN: is it like in movie, um, JOHN: shoot. JOHN: roxy what was that matthew mcconaughey movie from your earth that we watched? ROXY: u mean interstellar JOHN: RIGHT. JOHN: the one with the organ. JOHN: man. i cried at that movie so much. ROXY: lol u can say that again ROXY: iirc at least part of y u got so weepy was the fact that u couldnt believe a version of earth existed where ppl got 2 watch more mcconaughey films than you JOHN: listen. JOHN: i simply don't think you all appreciated the gift you were given. CALLIOPE: i don't believe i'm familiar with this particular film ^u^;; ROXY: oh dont worry cal you didnt miss much JOHN: (gasp)

This is all gold

ROXY: but the important point is that no its not really an interstellar type situation here egbert ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love JOHN: aw.

Dammit, now we have to be on the lookout for that possibility. Or it did sort of already happen more than once to John. ...Whatever.

CALLIOPE: to go back to your original question, john. CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them. CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish. CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart! CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been. CALLIOPE: in everyday, practical terms, being inside of a black hole has very little bearing on Us. CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary. CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence. CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon. CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist! JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...? CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!

No? So this doesn’t have to do with the divide?

CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal. CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific. JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that. CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley. CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u= CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

What the heck? Calliope SAW all this? Is this her Muse powers at work, letting her observe these things, or was she there? And John certainly did NOT see ANY of what Calliope just said happen.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

So we’re going to find that out if we haven’t already. Maybe something to do with the way Vrissy just conks out narcoleptically?

JOHN: ...right. JOHN: so... let me just get this straight. JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything? JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal? CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not. CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm. JOHN: oh.

Um, what?

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval. CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality. CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...

No plot-armor for your entire timeline, I guess, yep. Outside of canon, we can imagine and write about ANYTHING happening to the characters, or just drop their existence entirely, much like a doomed offshoot timeline. It’s a plot stability that depended heavily on the threat of Lord English and being trapped in a story, and without it things are bound to see a BIT chaotic (or “degrading” if you view it as subjected to the whims of fanfic writers, certainly).

CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth. CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher. ROXY: its total bs is what it is CALLIOPE: right, yes. CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite. CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.

Ah fuck. You’re going to regulate non-canon? “Canonize” it? Is the fact that you eventually succeed at whatever it is you’re trying to do part of why we have the story presented to us in this bifurcated structure?

ROXY: this is finally where u come in jegbert ROXY: we gots quests for yous CALLIOPE: hee hee, yes. CALLIOPE: or *a* quest, to be specific. JOHN: oh boy! ROXY: (this fkin nerd i s2g)

Roxy and Calliope setting him on this quest as a Rogue of Void and a Muse of Space feels fitting.

JOHN: i'm not sure how i can go about freeing us from a hellish space prison, but i'm up for giving it a try i guess? JOHN: i have... literally nothing better to be doing at this point. except for maybe hanging out with harry anderson. ROXY: nice save lol

YEAH WE’RE STILL GLOSSING OVER HOW YOU LEFT HIM UNPROTECTED, JERK

ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix JOHN: oh. JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then. ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity. ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan. CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more. CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it. CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak. CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself? CALLIOPE: ... CALLIOPE: phew. okay, i'm finished. CALLIOPE: CALLIOPE: sorry, that took longer than i expected to go throUgh.

..............................

OOooooh, kay.

Whatever this is, it’s going to be really weird and PROBABLY infuriating and/or shippy, and I’m probably not going to like it. Plus it seems like it’s some sort of inverse belated canonization of some other black-hole-rescue theories I went on about at some point. Although, related to that link, “aspect of freedom” if anyone wasn’t paying attention! That’s a (sorta-)canon mention of the purpose of it!

They’re going to attention-wh-- attention-hog themselves out of the black hole so that they’re “considered canon” too, or close enough. Huh.

ROXY: what r u talking about cals that was great ROXY: i could listen 2 u plotsplain for years CALLIOPE: oh you >u< ROXY: fyi this was why i wanted u to get a move on eggbread ROXY: so callie could have more time 2 infodump ROXY: thats love bitchhhhhh JOHN: hahaha. JOHN: ok, well, i think i understood all that?

Love with who? Callie, John, both?

In reality, John isn’t sure what most of this means. But on balance, it feels okay? He’s gone back and forth about a hundred times in the last week about where his place in everything is, so he might as well ride this out. Plus, the last time a Lalonde kind of told him to do something, he thinks that he chose not to, and look where that got him. And it’s not like he has other plans. He may as well do this! It’s at least going to get him involved in things again, if nothing else. He turns to go, and then hears a sound. It’s the sound of feet and knocking on doors, echoed through stone and digital static.

Oh shit. Is Andrew trapped behind some fourth walls behind the curtains.

> (==>)

Oh RIGHT also that DEVICE is where they want to bring Vriska. Are they going to overturn part of canon itself with a super-retcon thus making this timeline unbelievably relevant or--? Maybe make all the PESTERQUESTS canon or something?! I don’t know. Maybe they’re INTENTIONALLY starting the game like Vriska wanted to??????

Guh, this is something so big that I don’t WANT to theorize about it, do I.

JOHN: did you hear that? ROXY: wha ROXY: oh yeah uh ROXY: i may have messaged rose and kan and jade to check on them too ROXY: so its prob onea them showin up ROXY: they don’t need to know bout all this tho ROXY: we got time to chat with them b4 u go get vriska

No, even if it’s a knock at the somehow-top-level-house-even-under-buried-- oh, right, maybe it’s covering in part a monitoring system that looks up there. But still, part of that sound was DOUBTLESS these two hiding something, all standing in front of the curtain like that.

JOHN: i’ll go stall em. ROXY: thx babe ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine. ROXY: oh good ok see u up there soon!

How is calling your significant other “babe” not cool REGARDLESS of gender?! Like wasn’t that always cool? --Oh wait is it because they’re not together or... but... guh, I don’t know.

Anyway, see y’all after the holidays at least.

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #Homestuck^2 #spoiler #spoilers #Roxy Lalonde #John Egbert #Calliope

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datastate · 3 years

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im basic but like,, hk for the ask game please?

you’re fine! thank you :]

favorite character:

objectively? probably quirrel! i love how his story and ghost’s intertwine, and the scenes with him throughout the game on your first playthrough really do add a lot more. hollow knight does such a good job mixing both game and story elements; you can tell in his first interaction that he is going to be an important person simply based on his location, and it becomes so much clearer later on as well. the scene w monomon... literally made me go “hold on a second man. hold on a second.” because... pain <3 love it tho

second favorite character:

hornet!!! her whole deal makes me SO sad. herrah gave her life for hornet, thinking that even after she was gone that the most duty hornet would carry would be ruling deepnest, but instead hornet has to take on both of her parents’ mantles and she doesn’t take it lightly. herrah’s sacrifice was for nothing, but hornet still acknowledges that her intentions were good. the realization that hornet is herrah’s child is just. gd. it hurts me. you go into herrah’s dreamnail dialogue saying “for her,” and then hornet saying she doesn’t blame herrah for leaving her..... idk. i have a lot of thoughts between hornet’s situation + herrah’s intention and how they think of each other now, but i am not articulate rn ahbvsmdg it just hurts me

least favorite character:

willoh scares me

no but really moss prophet can go fuck themself boo i hate that clown you had it coming you’re like every christian preacher i’ve ever met. you’re literally soul master before he went on that killing spree

the character i’m most like:

laughs nervously in thk

favorite pairing:

ZE’MER AND THE TRAITORS’ DAUGHTER... i know we have almost nothing on them in-game that isn’t fucking depressing bc ze’mer’s been reduced to the grey mourner, but just. they’re a really big comfort for me. whenever i see art or writing of them, i just

also sheo / the nailsmith... happy couple indeed. ik these r just the canon gay pairings but it’s still. it’s really nice having that rep and it’s done well!!!! considering that most of hallownest has gone to hell ahbvsmdgs

ALSO also. and ik i’m just listing all the canon couples at this point, but i love iselda/cornifer... the potential in their stories?? iselda’s wanting to travel w cornifer again. idk. ijust. <3 and i have ideas on how they met w cornifer being THE smartest dumbass and her being genuinely experienced. i love these two so much. they r my mom n dad

least favorite pairing (other than usual condemnable shit):

can we all agree grimm/pk is weird as hell. you literally got a “i only tend to dead / dying kingdoms, putting them to rest so something new will be able to grow in its place” while pk is like “if i don’t craft / unite a kingdom from nothing i WILL die. again.” i get they’re ‘opposites’ and they’ve both got the rebirth thing going on, but like... c’mon... their ideals directly contradict each other and neither one is gonna change anytime soon, it can’t even be enemies to lovers.

favorite moment:

seeing hornet after killing herrah.

rating: 10/10!!! one of, if not THE, best games i’ve played in years

#hk posting #ask #Anonymous #long post

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not-majestic-bluenicorn · 4 years

Text

The MONSTA X Time-Travel Theory (Originally the MONSTA X Universe Theory)

Hello everyone, and welcome to my new and improved MONSTA X Theory. You read the title right, this was originally called the MONSTA X Universe Theory, but unfortunately it can no longer have that name. I’ll explain why shortly. I posted this theory in February of last year, and since then, a lot of things have changed. My theory really only addressed until before Take 1, so it’s been 4 comebacks and one world tour since then, can you believe it? So yes, quite a few things have changed, and we’ll go over them.

What has changed?

Originally, the theory proposed that everything started in the Tresspass-The Clan timeline, that it was the original timeline and that everything went down from there. However, since Follow: Find You, this is no longer possible, as the Find You MV shows us the origin of Hyungwon’s abilties. Thus, the Tresspass-The Clan theory is now a stand alone. Technically I already wrote a theory on The Clan, although I didn’t address its connection to Tresspass, maybe I’ll do that in a separate “add-on” sort of post. Because of this, it can no longer be called a “Universe Theory”, as MONSTA X is not integrating all of their stories into one very convoluted timeline, but instead they have two separate stories (if later on they connect everything, I’m throwing the towel). That’s the main change, but this change provokes a bit of a butterfly effect, so let’s see how much the theory has changed.

The Story

Phase 1: The First Timeline - The Origin (We Are Here World Tour VCR, Take 1 & Take 2)

I know this is a weird place to start the theory, almost near the end, but it actually makes a lot of sense. These three videos serve a very similar purpose to what Beautiful did for The Clan, they explain the origin of their friendship. Now, things aren’t as dramatic as they’re shown in these three videos (at least I hope so, ‘cause things are gonna get very weird from a plot point of view if they are). The main point of narration is the We Are Here World Tour VCR, from now on abbreviated as WAR because it’s easy to remember like that, and because it fits the theme of the video (watch it here).

WAR introduces us to seven fine young men who have each committed a sin (two of which aren’t even actual sins, but I understand why they would change those two). Hyungwon and Pride, I.M and Envy, Kihyun and Loneliness, Jooheon and Greed, Wonho and Sloth, Shownu and Wrath, and Minhyuk and Agony. These sins are not actual crimes from a futuristic dystopia (although that would be a cool concept), these are just the personal struggles they are dealing with, the personal backgrounds that consume them.

Hyungwon is a rich kid that believes himself better than everyone. I.M is the local witch (?) who hates the rich kid. Kihyun is probably the only child that was forced by his parents to be perfect. Jooheon and Shownu are a very misguided pair of trouble-makers who’re friends with Wonho, who practices Taekwondo but can’t reach the standard he wants. Minhyuk lost someone important to him.

In the Special Film and the Previous Film called ‘ARE YOU THERE?’ they explain these personal struggles, how their situations make them fall into those sins, and how they’re looking for someone to save them. This salvation comes in the form of each other. In WAR they further explain their own sins and how being with each other saved them from drowning in them. Alligator represents the sins and them drowning in the swamp of their own despair. Shoot Out is them breaking away from their past and destroying these sins.

Phase 2: The First Timeline - The Trigger (Find You MV)

Originally I proposed that Hyungwon got his powers by entering that weird heart at the end of All In and Fighter. I’ve now been proved wrong. After they each overcome their past and become friends, Hyungwon’s family has an accident in which both of his parents die and he comes out badly wounded. After he recovers, he’s now living by himself and taking different medications to deal with the aftermath of the accident. The boys decide they cannot leave their friend like that and temporarily stay at his house.

While they’re sleeping, Hyungwon wakes up and visits his father’s study. He finds the damaged watch which sends him to an entirely different timeline. This is showcased by him suspended in the water, with images of Dramarama and Destroyer flashing by. There is a scientific theory that proposes that spacetime is actually a superfluid; I won’t go deep on this because I don’t fully understand it, but showing Hyungwon trapped in water is a good analogy to him being trapped in a different spacetime. This is also briefly shown in The Connect World Tour VCR, (from now on addressed as CWT), but we’ll talk about this one in more detail later.

Wonho wakes up first and notices Hyungwon isn’t there, so he wakes up the others and they try to retrace his steps. Unfortunately, Hyungwon is not part of that timeline anymore, he’s gone for good. This leads us into our second timeline.

Phase 3: The Second Timeline (The Code & The Connect World Tour VCR)

After Hyungwon jumps into spacetime, he becomes lost. Personally, I think there is a possibility that there were other timelines he visited first until he eventually learned to craft the watches himself, as we see in CWT (watch it here). Maybe he just watched this timeline fail a lot of times before he learned and decided to intervene. Either way, Hyungwon actively tries to reunite all of them by giving them the watches. He succeeds for a moment, but in this timeline there exists an agency that controls Time Travel, who frustrate his plans every single time.

It is important to know that in this timeline, the boys don’t all know each other and some of them don’t even exist in the same era. They don’t remember Hyungwon either. Personally I think not remembering Hyungwon might be because he removed his existence entirely by disappearing from his original timeline. There cannot be two of him, as that would cause problems, so instead he just completely seizes existing in all possible universes as he moves through them.

The rest of the boys still exist within the normal spacetime frame though, but they’re lost and ignorant to their true origin. They have forgotten each other and can’t remember yet. However, no matter how hard they try, this timeline is completely doomed because the agency is actively trying to frustrate Hyungwon’s efforts, even if they don’t have something against him specifically. So Hyungwon jumps into the water again, he must continue searching.

Phase 4: The Third Timeline (The Connect: Music Film D & The Connect World Tour VCR)

Destroyer is yet another timeline distinct to Dramarama. We know this because we see different pairings, completely different settings and completely different timelines. The Music Film D is divided in three stages: Part 1 The Code (a very obvious reference, this is already letting us know they’re connected), Part 2 Finding the road, and Part 3 Connected (clear reference to the current album).

D shows us the boys as geniuses, Minhyuk and Shownu are artists, Kihyun and Wonho are science (physics?) prodigies, and Jooheon and IM dominate technology. CWT gives us a bit more insight and shows us something very important: they have begun to remember each other and they have memories from their previous timeline. They want to find the person they were paired with in their first timeline, but more than that, they also have memories of Hyungwon’s intervention, even if they don’t remember him properly (because let’s remember Hyungwon removed himself entirely).

They know they have to find someone, and so they set out to do it. Through their own methods they all come to the revelation on how to find Hyungwon. Kihyun and Wonho do the math, Jooheon and Changkyun use technology, and I guess Minhyuk and Shownu have a vision which they paint? Not sure on that one to be honest, but they find the train station.

This could either be a real place in which every timeline and universe converge or just a metaphor for them figuring out how to do the same thing Hyungwon does, either explanation works.

Hyungwon is trapped in this train, which is another analogy, but this time for the (liminal) space between dimensions. He’s tired himself out trying to reunite the others, and this time they must come for him, and they do. They find each other, they remember, and they reunite once again. This time nothing can pull them apart.

Phase 5: Interlude (The Connect: Jealousy & The Connect World Tour VCR)

Jealousy doesn’t feed the plot itself but helps connect (pun not intended) and put everything else into place. Through different imagery, Jealousy illustrates how the different timelines push them together and then pull them apart, creating different pairings, but that despite this they still share things in common (the paper with numbers, the recorder, the glass of water). Another thing this video does is allude to Jooheon’s death in Dramarama through the use of os symbolism. In one scene, a paper with his symbol is being burned, while in yet another, the chair he’s seen sitting on throughout the video is being burned as well and then falls down to the abyss.

On the other hand, CWT creates a clear and obvious connection between Dramarama and D, revealing to us that they do have memories from other timelines. Another cool thing is that we get to see Hyungwon on the rooftop where they filmed Hero, released back in 2015. It also provides a clearer scene of Hyungwon crafting the watches himself and of him at the top of the Hero building. We can also see the last scene from Jealousy mirrored in the last few seconds of the VCR, which is something worth pointing out.

But, as the VCR says “when everything goes back to the beginning, someday, we will be connected again”. Where did things begin? That’s right, in Find You, so the next step is Follow.

Phase 6: The Third Timeline - Back to the Beginning (Follow)

If Monbebe has a war anthem, it is most definitely Follow, which is an amazing song. Unfortunately, Starship has decided to stop providing explicit story development on their MVs since Jealousy, so Follow doesn’t do much for the story itself. However, I have three important reasons to believe this is where the circle ends: all of the references to time, the quote from CWT,and the very last scene of the MV. Let’s go in order.

The most obvious reference is them standing on clocks painted on the floor, but that’s not the only one. We get to appreciate a few watches here and there, reminiscent of Hyungwon’s in D and Dramarama, and also see the movement of their shadows as a passage of time. The most important reference though, is the cover of the album. The title, “Follow” is solid and then becomes “liquid” as it moves down. This makes sense when you consider the other two points.

First of all, “when everything goes back to the beginning, someday, we will be connected again”. The beginning of the whole mess is Find You, part of the Follow album, there is no doubt about it, so why is Follow the end? Well, because of the last scene in the MV. I know it’s Shownu standing at the top of the stairs in front of the circle, and while it would be better if it was Hyungwon for the sake of this theory, we’ll just completely ignore that. That circle they’re walking towards is the train. ‘Follow’ in the cover becomes fluid because once they cross that circle or enter that train, they too remove themselves from existence like Hyungwon.

That’s not the only thing though. In D, Wonho solves the formula for time travel as X=4155102M, he does it again in Alligator and I believe it’s also briefly shown in WAR. Kihyun also travels back to 2015 in Dramarama to save Jooheon, and Hyungwon is standing on Hero’s rooftop, which was released back in 2015. Their debut date is their beginning, and they keep referencing it over and over because they’re trying to go back to the beginning in order to solve everything.

They went from Find You to Dramarama, to Destroyer and now they’re back at the beginning with Follow; they are connected again. They have different faces and personalities because they’re not the same people from the original timeline, but they managed to find each other and transcend spacetime to be together. So now, what happens next?

Phase 7: Moving Forward (FANTASIA X)

Here is where things get a little complicated, both in the story and in real life. With Wonho’s departure from the group (go support his solo debut), we now have an even number, which wouldn’t seem like a big deal if it wasn’t for the FANTASIA X Trailers. In each trailer we see that each one of the members now possesses a device which allows them to control time in one way or another.

Hyungwon and Shownu have keys, which when used to open anything will allow them to do spacetime travel (I would say only time but, well, I have no way to confirm this right now). Jooheon and I.M have this lighter-watches that when turned on, they allow them to stop time. Kihyun and Minhyuk have another very different set of keys that look like those in old toys or music boxes, which allow them to ‘rewind’ time when used.

Now, them getting powers is expected, since they also removed themselves from the “normal” existence and joined Hyungwon. I assume it is because of the even number that they gave Shownu the same powers as Hyungwon, but it makes it a little weird because Hyungwon has been special all this time. It also doesn’t make much sense that now Hyungwon is using a very different instrument. I want to believe that Wonho is supposed to be in Hyungwon’s place in the teaser, but it’s impossible to tell now.

Even ignoring all of that though, FANTASIA X overall just doesn’t make much sense with the theory. Sure, it’s still time related, which is like the biggest giveaway, but the boys still look lost and like they’re looking for something despite the fact that they already found each other. Maybe the Teasers could be their personal research into spacetime travel and their attempts to find Hyungwon, but I highly doubt so. I think it’ll make more sense after the next comeback or tour, since so far everything seems to come in threes (Dramarama, Destroyer and CWT, Shoot Out and Alligator and WAR, Follow:Find You, FANTASIA X and?).

Conclusions

Despite the fact that we can no longer call it a Universe Theory because it hasn’t been there since the start, I still think it is a story about them, about their struggles and how they’ve grown up. They’re each other’s friends and family, the value of X is their debut date because that is when they came into existence, they are each other’s dreams because they wanted to become artists and they did so by coming together into one group.

A lot of things have happened, but their friendship hasn’t changed. They got each other out of the swamp and helped each other overcome their difficulties in the hardest times. It is uncertain as to where the story will lead us next, in a way, I think this might be the start of a brand new story for MONSTA X. A direct consequence of the story they have carried out since The Code? Maybe, but probably very different and not exactly in the same storyline. It’s hard to know, but I’m excited about what they have in store for us nonetheless.

I hope you liked this theory, and be assured that I’ll add onto it as more things come out and new mysteries are to be solved. If you have any questions you can hit me up on my asks, Twitter (@soft_bluenicorn) or my CuriousCat (@soft_bluenicorn)! I’ll be glad to answer them ^^

#monsta x #monsta x theory #monsta x shownu #monsta x wonho #monsta x kihyun #monsta x hyungwon #monsta x minhyuk #monsta x jooheon #monsta x changkyun #shownu #wonho #kihyun #hyungwon #minhyuk #jooheon #changkyun #bluenicorn does theories

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