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#im working on the requests still I just need to catch up with a few things first
propertyofwicked · 22 hours
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INTERMEDIATE - LN
╭──╯ . . . . . the five times max tried to set his best friends up, and the one time it actually worked. . . . . . ╰──╮
PART TWO FOR ROOKIE (can be read as standalone)
warnings: none really, swearing, mentions of alcohol consumption and minor sickness
this was so highly requested hehe! im glad you all loved rookie :) lemme know what you think! ✧ my inbox is open ✧
masterlist the playlist
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max fewtrell had been plotting for weeks. the annual karting gala was fast approaching, and he had the perfect plan to set up his two best friends. max managed to get himself a date and orchestrated the perfect excuse for y/n to accompany lando as his date, knowing that he was invited but y/n, not being a karter, wasn't. since the trio were somewhat inseparable, it made sense.
and it had worked - the three of them headed to the gala together, max’s date meeting them there, the atmosphere buzzing with music, laughter, and the clinking of champagne glasses. the drinks flowed freely, and the dance floor was packed. lando and y/n however, in their boredom of black-tie events, decided to see who could drink the most. much to max’s dismay, the two of them could never back down from a challenge, and seemingly formed a crowd of people to see them take on this challenge - which resulted in the two of them finding new dance partners for the evening.
this wasn’t max’s plan - he needed them to dance together, not with other people.
but then, y/n had left the dance floor, stumbling over to lando whilst holding her dress up as to not trip over it.
“lando?" she said, her voice shaky, and her eyes widening as she looked up at him.
this is it. they're going to kiss max had thought to himself, watching from only a few metres a way.
but instead, y/n's expression changed to one of distress. "i think im going to be sick."
or not, max thought, quickly springing into action.
lando immediately took charge, his hand sliding around her waist and guiding her towards the nearest bathroom with max following close behind. they managed to get her to a stall just in time. lando held her hair back, his touch gentle and reassuring as she emptied her stomach.
"im so sorry," y/n mumbled, her voice weak and apologetic. "i’ve ruined the night."
lando shook his head, his tone soft and caring. "don't worry about it. it’s ok. you’re ok."
meanwhile, max was on the phone, trying to get hold of y/n’s mum. "hi, it's max. im with y/n - she’s ok, but she’s had a bit too much to drink. could you come pick her up?"
as they waited for her mum to arrive, lando stayed by her side, stroking her hair softly as he poured water into her mouth less than graciously. max watched them, frustrated his plan had failed, but his heart warming by the way lando cared for y/n.
max was determined. the karting gala might not have gone as planned, but he saw another opportunity to set up his two best friends at a house party. he thought a good game of truth or dare would be the perfect catalyst.
the party was in full swing when the group gathered in the living room, max quickly suggested playing truth or dare to which everyone agreed. the game started with light-hearted questions and dares. when it was lando's turn, max seized his moment.
"i dare you to kiss the person next to you," max said with a smirk, confident in his plan since y/n was seated to one side of Lando.
lando, however, had other ideas. his head looked to y/n besides him for a moment and then at niran on his other side, as though he was weighing up his options. then, he turned and pressed a light kiss to niran's forehead, catching everyone off guard. max’s jaw dropped in disbelief, while the rest of the group burst into laughter.
"that doesn't count!" someone shouted, still laughing.
"max didn't specify where," lando retorted, grinning cheekily, holding his hands up in defence.
“lando! how could you not kiss me? im heartbroken," she teased, holding her chest dramatically, her eyes sparkling with amusement.
when the game finally ended, max excused himself to the kitchen, shaking his head at how his plan had backfired yet again. niran, sensing an opportunity for some fun, followed him into the kitchen.
"you know," he said, leaning against the counter, "next time, maybe we should play seven minutes in heaven?"
max looked up, intrigued but sceptical, "you think that'll work?"
"it's worth a shot. at least then lando can't dodge the dare by kissing my forehead," niran shrugged, a playful grin on his face.
in the living room, lando and y/n were chatting and laughing, completely oblivious to max and niran's conversation. and as the night wore on, max’s determination remained undeterred. their bond was undeniable and he would go to any lengths for his efforts to pay off.
lando decided to host a game night at his house - max was convinced that without being the host, he couldn't plan any elaborate setups. the evening kicked off with enthusiasm, everyone excited for a night of fun and games, with lando eventually suggesting they play drunk twister.
"…and every time you lose, you drink," he explained with a mischievous grin.
the game started off well, with everyone mostly sober. lando was winning, especially since his strength helped him keep his body in place. however, as the drinks kept flowing, max saw his opportunity. once they were all sufficiently tipsy, he took over spinning the twister board, calling out positions for lando and y/n.
at one point, max managed to have y/n essentially straddling lando’s waist, her legs balancing precariously on either side of him. this is perfect, max thought with satisfaction. he then told lando to move his leg, and when it was y/n’s turn, her hand slipped. the sudden loss of balance caused lando's leg to jolt out, causing y/n to tumble fully, twisting her ankle and hitting her head on the coffee table.
"who put that table there?" lando groaned in frustration as he rushed to assess the source of blood streaming down her face.
"erm… that would be you?" max snorted, trying to suppress his laughter but quickly becoming serious about y/n’s condition, deciding that hospital was probably the best call of action.
“lando, you should call her mum. i had to do it last time,” he whispered, as y/n slept next to them, the painkillers they had given her had wiped her out completely.
lando groaned as he dialled the number. it was 2am, so he wasn’t surprised when he got her voicemail.
"hi y/m/n, it’s lando - just letting you know y/n is in the hospital, but she’s fine. probably,” he added before hanging up.
“probably?” y/n called out groggily, still waking up, “she’s gonna worry more now you idiot.”
“im so sorry for hurting you," he said hurriedly, grabbing her hand and gently stroking his thumb along her skin.
"it’s ok, lan - i promise. as you said, im fine," y/n insisted with a small smile, "just remember to move the table next time."
“next time?”
“it was fun until i…you know,” she trailed off, using her free hand to gesture to her body laying in the hospital bed.
max watched the exchange with a resigned smile. despite his failed attempts and the chaos that ensued, it was clear how much lando cared for her. maybe, just maybe, things would eventually fall into place naturally.
with an upcoming quadrant project, max found himself with the responsibility of finding accommodation for the team. he found a cosy airbnb and meticulously assigned the rooms, ensuring that everyone had their own space, other than y/n and lando - though neither of them minded. they’d been friends for so long that sharing a bed didn’t seem like a big issue.
when the team arrived at the airbnb, they were greeted by the chilly winter air, before max led them through the house, pointing out their rooms. to his surprise, and annoyance, lando and y/n’s room actually had two single beds, not the anticipated double bed.
nevertheless, max was determined to see his plan through, quietly turned off the heating, hoping the cold would drive lando and y/n to share a bed for warmth. the evening progressed, with everyone started commenting on how cold the house was.
“i am freezing my tits off,” y/n announced as she walked into the room, throwing herself down on the sofa next to lando.
"if it gets too cold tonight, we can always cuddle up together,” lando said, nudging y/n with a grin.
finally, max thought to himself, a plan was finally working.
“as much as i want to have you snoring directly in my face all night, and trust me i do - my dad taught me a bit about plumbing when i was younger. let me see if i can fix the heating,” she announced, to which the group felt elated to hear, fearing they would freeze to death in their sleep.
max’s heart sank as he watched y/n head to the heating system, fiddling with it for a few minutes before triumphantly declaring, "got it! it doesn’t seem like it was broken, just turned off. maybe the airbnb hosts turn it off between guests to save money?"
“guess we won’t get to spoon tonight after all,” she added, looking at lando with fake sadness.
max had never hated her competent parents more than he did at this very moment.
later that night, as the group gathered in the living room, warmed by the now functional heating, lando and y/n were nestled on the couch, wrapped in a blanket together as they usually did.
lando leaned over to y/n, his mouth settling near her ear as he whispered, "watching max sabotage his own plans is funny - we should do this more often.”
y/n giggled, adding, "maybe next time we can teach him how to actually break the heating."
“it's my favourite sport, right after driving,” lando added, laughing softly before sitting up again.
max was beginning to realise that his plans weren’t working because he was trying to make them fall in love with each other. they were already in love, he just needed to make them talk about it.
determined to help them confront their emotions, he devised a master plan. so, when he moved into his new house, he invited them over to help build furniture.
as they assembled pieces in one of the rooms, y/n soon realised she needed a specific sized screwdriver but she couldn’t find it anywhere.
“well it hasn’t just grown legs has it?” lando teased, though helping her lift boxes to see if it had fallen beneath them.
"it might be downstairs. ill go have a look," he said, casually closing the door behind him. he knew it was downstairs - he had intentionally left it downstairs after loosening the screws on the door.
the moment the door shut, the handle fell out, leaving y/n and lando trapped inside - max was convinced that forcing them into close proximity would make them talk about their feelings.
“shit, sorry guys - bare with me whilst i try and fix it!” he called out, smiling to himself thinking about how great his plan was and how it couldn’t possibly go wrong.
however, he had forgotten one crucial detail - y/n was scared of being locked in small confined spaces. they had discovered this fact following a unfortunate attempt at seven minutes in heaven.
the reality of their situation set in, and y/n began to panic - her chest tightening as her breathing became fast and heavy.
"hey, it's okay. we're not stuck forever. we'll get out of here," he said softly, opening a window to let in some fresh air and sitting beside her. his arm wrapped around her instinctively, pulling her into his side as his hand found her hip, drawing patterns into her jeans with his fingers in attempt to ground her.
both of them were angry at max, knowing exactly what he was trying to do. they had somewhat discussed being together before, but lando’s busy career made things complicated. and now, he had gone too far, forgetting y/n’s anxiety in a bid to get his own plan to work.
"deep breaths," Lando murmured, holding her hand and gently stroking her back. "that’s it. max didn’t mean any harm. he just wants to see us happy."
y/n nodded, her breathing slowing as she leaned into lando, his hand coming up to wipe the tears from her cheeks.
“i know. i just hate being trapped, and i know he means well but i wish he’d just chill out," she breathed out, her voice still wobbly as she tried to regulate her emotions.
they both sat quietly for a moment, looking at each other deeply, her anxiety dissipating, unspoken feelings lingering in the air. lando’s head moved closer to hers first, tentatively pressing his lips to hers. he wasn’t surprised when she kissed him back, her hands moving to his shoulders to lift herself up slightly as he deepened the kiss, his tongue swiping her lower lip gently.
"almost got it!" max called out quickly from behind the door, interrupting the two.
lando and y/n quickly pulled apart, managing to compose themselves just as max opened the door and rushed in.
"im so sorry y/n. i really didn't mean t- i don’t even know ho-,” he stuttered, moving down to hug her quickly.
y/n forced a smile, her heart still racing.
"it's okay, max. i’m fine, i promise,” she reassured him, her arms moving to hug him back.
it wasn’t rare for lando, max and y/n to constantly be in each others houses. any free time they had at least two of them were together, and it had been the same for the entire time they had known each other. that week, they had all taken residence at max’s house to finish the final touches to the new quadrant video before posting it.
the early morning sun was shining through the kitchen windows as y/n rummaged through the cabinets, looking for a mug for her morning tea. noticing her struggle, lando walked over to stand behind her, his chest brushing against her back as he stretched to reach the mug from the top shelf.
"here you go, short-arse," he said, handing it to her with a smile, before moving across the counter to flick the kettle on.
"thanks," y/n replied, ignoring his nicknaming, "want some breakfast?"
"depends what you’re making," lando said, his eyes twinkling, “i would love some pancakes right now.”
“tough shit - im making cereal,” she responded bluntly, smiling sarcastically at him, before moving to grab the box of cornflakes from the cupboard.
“from scratch? that’s impress- OW,” he yelped, feeling the box of cereal hit him in the face.
“can we not use my cereal as a weapon please?” max announced as he walked into the room, rubbing the grogginess from his eyes.
“sorry dad,” y/n replied jokingly, sticking her tongue out at lando when max moved to open the fridge. she turned to start making breakfast, but in her movement she ended up knocking a spoon off the counter.
“fuck,” she muttered as she bent down to pick it up, lando watching on before quickly placing his hand on the corner of the counter, preventing her from hitting her head on the way up.
"careful," he murmured softly, as her forehead made contact with his hand.
later in the day, lando found himself sat on the sofa, scrolling through the comments on quadrants new video, where he had taught y/n how to kart.
y/n walked in, sighing deeply as she plopped down on the sofa next to him, her head finding a comfortable spot on his lap. lando didn't miss a beat - instinctively he began to stroke her hair, his fingers moving gently through the strands.
"you okay?" he asked, his voice filled with genuine concern.
y/n closed her eyes, leaning into his touch. "just tired," she whispered.
max walked into the room soon after, though stopping in his tracks as he saw the two of them. he shook his head with a bemused smile.
“you wanna read the comments?” lando asked as max took a seat on the chair opposite them.
the two of them nodded in unison, y/n shuffling around to sit up as lando’s arm rested on the back of the sofa behind her. they sat quietly, reading through the comments as max scrolled through them on his own phone.
they were accustomed to reading feedback from fans, but this time, something caught them off guard. the comments were filled with remarks about how good lando and y/n would be as a couple and how fans couldn't believe they weren't already together.
lando glanced at y/n, both of them slightly amused - they were sort of used to this, but every comment seemed to mention it.
"are you seeing these comments?" lando asked, raising an eyebrow.
“i know! i can't believe how many people want us to be together."
“you know, they're not wrong. we would be great together,” he replied, entirely unfazed.
"absolutely. it makes sense i guess," she nodded in agreement, shrugging casually.
“well that’s established then,” lando stated before moving the conversation, “should we get pizza?”
“up to you,” y/n responded with a smile, before resting back into the sofa, lando’s arm thrown over her shoulders.
max sat still, watching the whole interaction in utter bewilderment.
"what have i just witnessed?” he started, eyes darting between the two quickly, “seventeen years of seeing you two interact, and you just casually decided you're together and then sorted out what you're having for dinner?"
"yeah, pretty much,” y/n laughs, leaning into lando’s side as she shoots a grin at max, who’s jaw just dropped in disbelief.
"are you serious right now?" he continued. lando leaned back, crossing his arms with a confident grin.
"it's not like we’ve not kissed before," lando added, still grinning.
"YOU'VE KISSED?" max shouted, his eyes widening further.
y/n and lando exchanged a knowing look, both bursting into laughter at max's reaction, their casual approach to this new development was seemingly more surprising than the news itself.
“we probably would’ve gone further if you hadn’t fixed that door,” y/n added, still laughing as max smiled to himself.
“you’re plan finally worked mate,” lando laughed out, watching max’s face contort into shock.
“my pla-? when did you work it out?”
“sometime between you turning off the heating and the time you pretended to be sick so we had to go to dinner just the two of us.”
“yeah the table for two and the candles was a big giveaway.”
“i need to lay in a cold dark room please - excuse me,” max said finally, picking his jaw up from the floor before walking out in complete silence.
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omaano · 1 month
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For the sketch thingy:
Codymaulwan with B2?
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They all come in different flavor of disaster, and I’m not immune to that
Polyamorous/Platonic poses for sketching
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eddiesghxst · 8 months
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ohhh the post about eddie masturbating in the bathroom was AMAZING AHHH!!
could i request something where nancy, robin, jonathan, eddie & reader are having a sleepover at steve’s & when everyone’s asleep eddie & reader get all handsy, so she jerks him & then rides him, trying to be quiet because they’re still in the same room as the others (robin sleeps with steve in his bed & jonathan, nancy & the two of you on the ground on mattresses) but at some point they move it to the bathroom just a few doors down.
in the end, steve gets woken up & catches them in the bathroom because they accidentally left the door open but they don’t notice so steve just goes back to bed traumatized for life💀😩
sorry it’s a bit long i just LOVE your writing!!
because i won't be able to get the next part of price of fame up this week, here is some spooky slut action to tithe <3
ALSO, im so sorry it took me forever to write this BUT THANK U STINK, i changed a few things around, i hope u don't mind, but here u gooo!
18+ — MINORS DNI
————
It’s wrong.
What you and Eddie are doing is so wrong.
It's gross and something you would probably scrunch your nose at and fake a gag if anyone ever told you they did it. But fuck, you’d be lying if you said it isn’t turning you on to no end— Eddie’s fingers working you towards your first orgasm as your nails dig into his thighs to keep you grounded as you try to remain quiet for your sleeping friends.
The older half of the gang decided to pull a spooky night at Steve’s place, ‘This is strictly rated-R, shitheads.’ Steve explained when the younger half tried to join in. You’d all settled into Steve’s comfy basement after a long week and ran through A Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, Carrie, and endless junk food and beers before everyone slowly began to tap out.
Jonathan was the first to fall asleep, and once Nancy noticed, she went ahead and moved them to the bigger couch, where she inevitably dozed off as well. Robin was next, claiming she could feel her arteries clogging up with the amount of sugar you’d all ingested and, ‘If I die, it better be in my sleep, not watching shitty horrors with you three idiots.”
And then it was just you, Eddie, and Steve.
One thing about Eddie is when the lights go down in a room, and he’s next to you, hands will roam. Fingers will grab and squeeze at skin, caress and provoke goosebumps across your arms, and eventually sneak into sensitive areas— and it doesn’t matter who else is in the room.
You already knew where things were going when you felt Eddie’s cool rings press into the warm skin of your thigh. You had just begun the fourth movie of the night, Ghostbusters, because you claimed you needed a break from the horror movies, and Eddie couldn’t wait any longer to get his hands on you. Luckily, Eddie’s wandering hands are hidden beneath the blanket you share, so Steve is clueless about the sinful actions happening across the room.
And you were able to hold off your moans and whimpers for the most part, but Eddie was getting mean with it. Two fingers dipping in and out of your wet cunt at a painfully slow and agonizing pace that had your legs quivering. He occasionally curves his fingers up to brush up against your spot, teeth digging into his lip to hide the groan of pain when your nails dig deeper into his skin— he’s sure you’ll leave a mark. And you were doing good. 
You were doing so good.
Until Eddie added a third finger, leaning down to whisper in your ear, “Fuck sweetheart, you get any wetter than this, and I might have to fuck you now,” with an added swirl of his thumb over your clit, and you were done for.
You moan unexpectedly loud and pathetic, and anybody with common sense would know what the two of you are doing. The sweaty palm of your hand slaps over your mouth as your eyes widen in surprise, gaze snapping over to where Steve is laid back in the La-Z-Boy recliner, and from this angle, with Steve’s chair turned towards the TV, you can only see his full head of fluffy brown hair. 
You don’t want to risk it, you think. So, you curl your fingers around Eddie’s wrist and pathetically tug, “Steve,” You whisper, alerting Eddie that maybe this isn’t a good idea.
But Eddie only nuzzles his face into your neck and quickens the pace of his fingers, reveling in the soft gasp you let out as he whispers in your ear, “He’s asleep.”
You look to where Steve is sitting again, wearily searching for any signs that he might still be awake, but to your favor, you find none— and maybe you ignored the small moment where Steve shifted, but between the overwhelming feeling of Eddie’s breath on your neck and the toe-curling sensations he’s bringing between your thighs, you can’t seem to care anymore.
“I’m close,” you rush through a whispered breath, hips tilting up to meet his skilled actions. “Yeah?” He nips at your ear, and you whimper, eyes shutting. “You gonna cum on my fingers? In front of our friends, honey? You’re dirtier than I thought,” He teasingly growls the last part, licking behind your ear before sucking the tip between his lips. You pant his name, this time loud enough to cause Eddie’s hand to slap over your mouth.
“As badly as I wanna hear those pretty moans of yours, sweetheart, you need to be a little more quiet,” He whispers. You nod as best as you can, drool smearing over Eddie’s palm as you roll your hips against his palm as quietly as you can.
“Come on, baby,” Eddie encourages, calloused fingers digging into your cheeks, “Want you to cum all over my fingers like the desperate little slut you are.”
Your legs quiver at that, eyes rolling back as you begin to teeter over the edge. “Gonna take you upstairs after this so I can fuck you real good. Split you open nice and wide on my cock; you want that?” He hums, slinking his hand down to squeeze at your jaw and turn your head to where his lips catch yours as he speaks. You nod desperately and pathetically, and Eddie smiles, licking across your lips once before your eyes squeeze shut, and the dam finally breaks.
Eddie presses his lips against yours to silence your noises, which go unheard with the help of the movie playing. Eddie can feel you squeezing and pulsing around his fingers, and his cock jumps at the thought of what’s to come after he drags you out of this fucking basement.
Eddie kisses you throughout your climax, fingers gently guiding you through the hurricane of pleasure until you push him away with a whisper, “S’too much.”
Eddie lets you have it, removing his fingers from you with a lewd squelch that reaches his ears, pulling his hand out to hold it up in front of you. His fingers glisten under the TV light with your slick coating his knuckles, some dripping down onto his rings. You watch with lust-hooded eyes as he brings the soaked digits to his lips, making a show of licking up the length of them and swallowing every drop. Your cunt throbs, and you shift as his eyes meet yours.
And you don’t have to say anything because you already know, and before you know it, you’re dragging Eddie up the basement stairs with a racing heart and an aching center.
But what neither of you knows is Steve has been awake the entire time.
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boyfriendstevie · 5 months
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may i humbly request…. 15. Character A hiding their face into Character B’s shirt because they can’t keep the noises at bay, and hoping to God they’re not being too loud. i can’t think of anything to keep it wintery but… maybe a handsie moment at a work christmas party? hehe whatever u like!
Jay my angel baby love <333 thank u for this & im sorry it took so long, pls enjoy having to be quiet while staying at the harrington household ft menace Steve hehe; 18+!!! mdni!!! fem!reader, fingering, hand job, use of nicknames like good girl
-
“Baby…” Steve coos softly from somewhere next to you. It’s hard to tell… hard to focus. All you know is that his body is pressed to yours, and he’s got two long fingers in your cunt. “Gotta be quiet, honey. Don’t want anyone to hear you, do you?”
Being home for the holidays is always nice, but staying with family makes things difficult. In a number of ways, but it makes being intimate with your boyfriend particularly challenging. And after staying with your family for a number of days, in a small house where sound would definitely travel, you’re feeling pent up when you make it to the Harrington household. It didn’t take long for you to excuse yourselves to Steve’s old room where you were staying, and end up under the covers together. 
A kiss presses to the crook of your neck as you shake your head, Steve’s breath hot against your skin. You’ve only been at it for a few minutes, but between the kisses and all of his attention, you already feel like you’re going to melt, and besides, you don’t have much time anyway. You whimper again and his hand stills as he huffs out a quiet laugh and says, “Babe, I’m serious… can’t have my parents catching us.”
“Sorry, I’m sorry,” you whine, squirming under his touch as his free hand roams up your torso to cup your breast, squeezing not-so-gently, “I’ll be quiet, please don’t stop, just— need you, please—“
You can feel the curve of his lips on your shoulder and he shushes you again, this time more reassuringly as his fingers curl inside of you, “I gotcha, baby, shhhhh.”
But then, his hand pulls away completely as he shifts away from you, leaving you clenching around nothing and hissing his name angrily, “Steve! What the fu—“
Your complaint dies on your lips as he rearranges both of you so you’re on your side facing him, only mere centimeters separating you. One of his arms curls around your shoulders to hold you close while the other maneuvers between your bodies until his hand can cup your cunt, the palm of his hand brushing against your clit. His middle and ring finger dip between your folds to find your dripping entrance, fingertips circling it lightly. Teasingly.
Before you can complain again, his fingers ease into you, making you sigh softly, a quiet, content noise. Your leg hitches over his hip as you press closer, relaxing against him. Steve noses against your temple, a small laugh escaping his own lips as his fingers push deep, “Told ya I gotcha, honey.”
“Mhm,” you breathe out absentmindedly, all high-pitched and whiny in your attempt to stay as quiet as you can, which feels nearly impossible with his fingers fucking in and out of you. Especially hard when his fingers spread wide, stretching you open for him. His thumb finds your clit with practiced ease, rubbing over it in just the right way, making your hips roll into his touch. 
He keeps saying you can’t be too loud, but it seems like he’s doing everything in his power to make you fall apart, to make the loudest moans possible fall from your lips, “Stevie— fuck, Steve, need—“
A particularly loud moan escapes you, and you instantly worry he’ll stop again, but instead, his arm curls and tightens around your shoulders, pulling you into his hold. Your face presses against his chest, the fabric of his pajama shirt soft on your cheek. When you moan again, this time at the way his fingers crook, brushing against the most sensitive spot inside of you, the sound comes out muffled into Steve’s chest. You can hear the smirk in his voice as he asks, “Feel good, baby? That’s what you wanted, huh? Such a good girl, letting me know exactly how you feel.” 
Steve’s words, the smug sound in his voice, makes you whine again, though it’s barely audible against his chest. Your own fingers curl around one of Steve’s biceps, digging into his skin a bit more harshly than you intend to, though he doesn’t seem to mind, reveling in the reactions and noises he can draw out of you from his fingers alone. You’re desperate to cum after so long, and you’re so close, the coil in your gut twisting tighter and tighter, but you still need more. But he knows you better than you know yourself, and so before you can even ask, a third finger pushes into your tight heat. 
With his thumb rubbing small, quick circles on your clit, and his fingers pumping in and out of you, pleasure twists in your tummy. You clench around his fingers, face buried into your boyfriend’s chest as you finally tip over the edge. Your body writhes against his, moaning and whining into Steve’s chest, and you distantly hope that you’re not being too loud, though you can’t find it in yourself to care too much. 
“That’s a girl,” Steve hums, kissing along your jaw and neck as you come back down from the high. The leg hitched over his hip shakes and Steve pulls his hand from your center to grab at your thigh, squeezing your flesh gently, “Y’alright?”
“Yes,” you murmur softly in reply, face hot against the fabric of his shirt, “Your turn? Been too long…” You trail off as you move just enough to get your hand under Steve’s boxers. Precum leaks from his tip, and he hisses loudly as your thumb rubs over his slit, spreading the wetness down the length of his cock. 
Your fingers wrap around the base, and you stroke him once — just enough to pull a deep groan from his chest. You’re more than pleased, and a little smug, as you repeat the same thing he’d said to you earlier, “Gotta be quiet, love, yeah?” 
“Shut up,” he laughs, jaw clenching when you squeeze him gently, “Maybe I need to hide my face in your chest, too.”
“Be my guest,” you grin at him, free hand tangling into the hair at the back of his head, pulling him in closer for a kiss that leaves both of you dizzy. 
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huskersbooze · 2 months
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Helloo! Can i Request an alastor x reader angst? (I love angst im sorry😭) where reader n alastor are good friends, but soon alastor starts catching feelings, he didn’t like that so he starts ignoring reader hoping it’ll go away, but when alastor realizes it doesn’t, he wanted to apologize for ignoring reader and maybe confessing, but he couldn’t cause he found out reader got redeemed into heaven? Please and thank you!!
A/N : Oh fuck yes I'm a sucker for angst. This is actually a really interesting concept! Completely opposite to my other fic where Reader ignores Al. Thank you for the ask <3
Alastor Doesn't Do Feelings
Alastor x Reader
Pairing : Alastor x F!Reader (M!Reader here, Gn!Reader here)
Warnings : Cusing(what do you expect? It's Hazbin Hotel)
Additional Tags : Angst, no use of (Y/n), use of dear/darling
Word count : 1.25k
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It was never supposed to turn out this way. Alastor, the fucking Radio Demon, doesn't do feelings.
But here he was, finding himself getting flustered, his cheeks red, ears pinned back and his smile faltering.
And it was all because of you.
"-and so I told him to back the heck away, but I swear his brain can't seem to comprehend simple words! He-"
You went on and on about your day, but Alastor could only focus on the close proximity between the two of you and your hand came so close to brushing his every minute or so.
"Alastor! Freaking hell!" He snapped out of his trance when he heard you yell his name.
He cleared his throat, quickly gathering himself once more, "Yes, darling?"
"Were you even listening to me?"
"Of course, I was." Which, frankly, was a lie.
"Just go to bed, dipshit."
"I don't need sleep."
"Your brain is hijacked, Al." You try to give his ears a scratch. Alastor attempts a dodge but fails. "See? You can't even dodge a simple pet on the head."
"I let you do that."
"Whatever helps you sleep at night."
"Darling, you know I don't sleep."
"It was an expression, babe."
He knew you meant it as a joke, a light-humoured name you called him; like how he called you "dear" or "darling".
But he couldn't help the blush that found a way to his face.
"Alastor! You're doing it again!"
"I beg your pardon?" He snaps out from his trance.
"You're dozing off again. Are your radio parts radio-ing properly?"
"I'm not an actual radio, my dear."
"Well, you sure act like a broken down machine." You let out a giggle, him doing the same, but it ultimately sounded like he was buffering.
"You need help." You get up and give him another ruffle behind the ears, catching him off guard. "G'night, Al."
He doesn't respond.
He's too busy screaming internally.
-----
Alastor doesn't do feelings. Yet, here he was a broken mess because of you.
No, this was unacceptable. All he'd work for. His reputation. The danger it'd put you in.
He couldn't afford any of that gone — especially not you.
How was he to get rid of this weird churning he gets in his stomach when you near, though? How was he to stop loving you?
-----
Alastor doesn’t do feelings. He nearly did, once, because of you. But he’d found a way to stop it.
Or so, he thought.
“Good morning, Al.”
Out of everyone in the hotel, you were the one person he could tolerate. Despite your polar interests and behaviour, Alastor actually found it quite enjoyable to be by your side.
Sure, you rarely cursed, was so sweet and couldn’t bare the thought of killing, but Alastor never minded. You were the one person he looked forward to seeing everyday. He would usually only talk to you.
“Husker, may I have a word?” Yet, here Alastor was, completely ignoring your existence like you were some irrelevant imp a few rings down.
“Uh, sure, boss.” Husk sends you a questioning stare as you return the favour.
He didn’t actually have anything to say to him; it just hurt to see you. The feelings still lingered and he couldn’t do jackshit about it. 
Staying away from you was only supposed to get rid of his feelings, not intensify them.
“Alastor?” Yet, your voice captivated him in every way possible and his desire to be yours increased.
He simply left the room, and the two of you never spoke after that.
-----
“Alastor doesn’t do feelings, honey.”
“I know, Rosie! But we’re just friends and he knows that.” You take a sip from the tea Rosie prepared for you. “Though, lately, he’s been completely disregarding my presence like I’m the bane of his existence.”
“Don’t look too much into it! I’m sure it’s nothing. It’s just Alastor being Alastor.”
“But it’s not.” You sigh. “Something’s changed between us and I’m not sure what it is.”
“Well, did anything specific happen?”
“I.. I don’t know.” Your voice cracks at the agony. “I just.. Everything was fine that night. I just told him to sleep and the next morning it’s like I never existed.”
“Hm. That does sound odd.”
“Exactly! And I’m not sure what to do or if- if I’ve angered him- or- or maybe he’s sick of me-”
“Honey, breathe.” Rosie’s hand finds yours across the table as she rubs soothing circles on the back of your palm. “It’s in his nature to be sending mixed signals. Just give him time. He’ll come to terms with you eventually.”
“Are.. Are you sure?”
“You came to me for a reason.” She jokes, though her warm smile never left her face.
“Thank you, Rosie.”
-----
Alastor, your beloved strawberry pimp, doesn’t do feelings. He didn’t, he doesn’t and he won’t.
At least, that was before he realised he was catching feelings for you.
He’s tried so hard to ignore it. He’s done everything he could to ignore you, but despite his best efforts, you still found a way to float straight back into his mind.
“Alastor?”
“Yes, darling?” It took him a while to comprehend the fact he accidentally called Husk “darling”. His mind was just filled with thoughts of you.
“Uh.. anyways.” Husk cleared his throat. “You were close with the kid, right?”
“I suppose.” He shrugs, saying it as a matter of fact-ly. “Nothing serious.”
Alastor nearly flinched as he said it himself. 
Nothing serious.
But in fact, it was starting to get serious. He was in love with you, head-over-heels obsessed, but he couldn’t come to terms with the fact and decided to push you away.
Fuck. What was he thinking?
“Yes, well I just.. wanted to let ya’ know she’s-”
“In a minute, Husker.” He says, taking off and trying to find you. He had to apologize. He had to talk to you and explain himself. But then, that would mean he had to confess.
Confess. Alastor’s smile widened as he thought of the idea. Blush crept from his face all the way down to his neck and his tail was uncontrollably wagging under his coat.
He loved you.
Turns out, Alastor does, and will do feelings.
-----
“Husker, have you seen her?” After a whole day of looking around the hotel, he couldn’t seem to find you anywhere. 
“Her?” He asks, then immediately realising there could only be one her. “I was trying to tell you, boss. The kid.. The kid passed.”
“What?” His smile falters, eyes twitching, but still keeping his composure.
“Some drunk ass dude got hold of an angelic weapon from the last extermination. She was stabbed on her way back from cannibal town.”
The static in his ears were ringing louder by the second. This wasn’t supposed to happen. No, it wasn’t supposed to end like this. He was only supposed to get rid of his feelings, not you.
This whole plan backfired. It was a mistake. He kept what he hadn’t wanted, and lost what he desired.
-----
Alastor doesn’t do feelings.
He does, but only for you. He keeps his heart closed in hopes you’re still somewhere out there.
Any other demon who tries to get with him, ultimately gets turned down.
Alastor doesn’t do feelings, no; but he does feelings. He saves the romantic kind for you. The platonic ones, however, are open doors now because of you.
Alastor didn’t do feelings, but he does now — in hopes he gets redeemed and can find you in heaven.
———[ End. ]———
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heesdreamer · 1 year
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YOU MAKE ME
PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader
SUMMARY ➩ struck with insomnia your entire life, you’ve taken to exploring the city restless all night. things change when you meet a tall boy with tired eyes and bruised knuckles
WARNINGS ➩ heeseung is lowkey crazy and obsessed with reader, parental death and abuse and implied violence, sexual scenes and commentary, mental health talk (especially insomnia)
WC ➩ 17k
AUTHORS NOTE ➩ (i lied lol part 2 soon) NOOO PART 2 plz don’t request im so serious i rlly love this story and it’s completed it has nothing else to add! im glad you guys enjoy my work enough to want more but when there is no feedback in ur comment and just “need part 2” when i spent so much time writing 13k+ words it makes me feel terrible lol. i rlly hope you love this as much as me (NOT PROOFREAD)
Your mother used to tell you that she thought you were born from a piece of the moon.
When you were old enough to understand her and her strange sayings, she’d tell you stories about how when you were a baby you’d never sleep through a night. She looked mystified as she explained to you the ways in which you’d gain energy every time the sun set, becoming whiny and ornery whenever she’d take you with her to run errands during the day.
She told you how you struggled in school for most of your early years, always being found curled up in your backpack cubby or under the slides at the playground because you hadn’t gotten enough sleep the night before.
You always were much more cynical than your mother, less of a dreamer and typically prone to aggravation or grumpy tired mumbles. She’d tell you your connection with the moon was a blessing, a lifelong friend for you and you’d retort back that it was a nuisance.
When your mom died you finally realized what she had meant for the first time. You spent nights awake, like usual, but now they were accompanied by nothing but the sounds of your low sobs and your father drinking himself stupid just below your bedroom. It wasn’t until you cracked open your bedroom window for some fresh winter air did you catch sight of the moon and finally feel it, finally feel the connection you’d always been told you had.
Years had passed now and while you didn’t cry every night anymore, you still rarely found yourself able to sleep through the night.
You’d also turned your back on the moon again now that you were older and still just as restless, sleeping throughout your classes and lacking any social life considering the way you wandered through the halls like a ghost with sunken eyes and dark circles.
It was frustrating to you that nothing seemed to be working, no amount of teas or yoga exercises. You’d gone as far as to take prescribed sleep medication, only working enough to make you more exhausted than you already were yet not putting you to rest like you were longing for.
Years of trying and you’ve mostly given up, accepted your condition and never once considered it the blessing your mother had tried to convince you it was.
Blessings wouldn’t leave your bones aching, they wouldn’t leave you slow blinking trying to understand what your teachers were saying or stumbling holding your lunch tray. Blessings surely wouldn’t have you stood in the middle of a dirty 7/11, clutching three bags of chips and a large slushee while you impatiently waited for the two people in front of you to move along.
You’d realized a few things by being a night owl, only ever interacting with people having the same issue as you or people who worked early enough that you’d pass by them on your way back to your house.
You’d taken to spending your nights awake out in the city, sick of staring at your ceiling or scrolling down the same boring timelines that carried nothing but the same content posted thousands of times with different wordings. So you started to explore at some point during high school, each night pushing yourself to wander further and find something interesting before heading back.
Sometimes you ended up at the river, sitting and watching drunk older men laugh with their friends like they were teenagers, catching the ends of failed dates as they walked home with their heels in their hands.
Other times you sat and drank coffee in the few 24 hour shops scattered around the city, sipping it slowly until it was cold and the added sugar was hardening at the bottom of your paper cup.
Most times however you simply found yourself stood in this exact position, holding your snacks of choice and tapping your foot impatiently while you waited for the drunk college students in front of you to stop joking around with the exhausted cashier and pay for their beers. It wasn’t that late yet, not quite the time of night that got you weird stares for wandering around in your pajamas.
You could hear the cashiers tired voice repeating their total to them, asking if they wanted to pay with cash or card and you sighed softly. You tilted to the side with an exaggerated sway so you could see over their laughing bodies, vaguely meeting eyes with the boy behind the counter before flopping back to your original position.
A heavy sigh was slipping out of your mouth before you even realized it and one of the drunk men turned back to look at you, an eyebrow cocked in offense as he let out a nasty laugh after taking you in.
You were pretty used to that reaction, standing in your plaid pajamas with your favorite bunny slippers and knitted hat. Your eyes were low and heavy with sleep deprivation, an annoyed glint to your expression that seemed to aggravate him further once the glare was set towards him.
“Are we bugging you Ms?” He was asking it in a mockingly sweet tone, clearly antagonizing you due to your impatience. You sighed again and your eyes drifted to the side for a moment in indifference, too exhausted to hold a conversation let alone argue with a grown man who didn’t know how to behave in a public setting.
“Yeah.. a little bit.” You were casually mumbling after a few beats of him and his friend staring at you, realizing now they weren’t going to just let you go without a response.
He was scoffing like it was the craziest thing he’d ever heard and you felt a little jolt of your inner alert system when he was taking a step towards you, his much larger frame slightly intimidating on top of the fact he was drunk and not thinking clearly.
He stopped early in his advances however and you were confused for a second before you registered the sound of the cashier clearing his throat, the two men turning back to look at him with an incredulous look. When you’d first gotten a glimpse of him he’d been bent over the counter, his elbows resting against it with a bored expression but now that he was standing up to his full height you faltered a bit at how tall he was.
The two men seemed to be thinking the same thing as you, suddenly hesitant in their childish behavior and awkwardly handing him a wadded up bill before taking their case of beer and staggering out of the convenience store.
“Thanks.” You were muttering and dumping your snacks out onto the counter, awkwardly catching one of the candy bars that bounced off a bag of chips and almost fell back onto the ground.
“No problem.” He was responding back with a small shrug and you glanced at him curiously, scanning his tired eyes down to the work uniform that didn’t fit him properly.
“You’re not Jake.” You were announcing and he faltered in his scanning, eyes widening a touch as he looked down at you. He was wearing a name tag but you came by often enough to know that it wasn’t his own, never having seen him before and growing used to the friendly smile the usual third shifter would give you every time you dragged yourself in.
“Uh.. no. I’m not, yeah you’re right.” He was awkwardly muttering back and you almost felt bad for calling him out so directly so you laughed a bit to ease the tension, just as awkward considering you weren’t used to extended social interaction this late at night. “He had a concert he couldn’t miss.. asked me to take over.”
You were nodding softly, mouth parting in understanding and awkwardly shuffling while the conversation quickly died into a weird silence. The sounds of your slippers against the tiled floor was scratchy and too loud for your taste, making you wince slightly at how embarrassing this whole interaction was.
“Are you getting paid?” You don’t know why you asked him another question, why you were carrying on a conversation when it’d been years since you’d had one randomly like this but you liked the way his big eyes flickered back up to you.
“Yeah of course.” He was breaking out into a wide grin at the mention of it, finishing scanning your snacks and looking at the register for a second like he’d forgotten what to do next. “I’m normally up all night anyways so I don’t mind much.”
This piqued your interest but you kept your face neutral, nodding softly and picking at the peeling leather of your wallet while you waited for him to give you your total. He was looking up at you again before he spoke and his eyes landed on your hat for a second, still smiling softly as he looked at the knitted bunny ears.
You cleared your throat and he stopped staring, stammering out how much it had cost you and you slid a few bills over to him while watching the way he fumbled around trying to get the register to open.
“Well… have a good night then.” You were mumbling to him while grabbing the plastic bags he was handing you over the clear divider, your fingers brushing against his warm knuckles for a second. “Not Jake.”
“Goodnight.” He was casually saying back and you wanted to correct him on his wording and tell him you didn’t sleep much either, tell him you understood filling your nights with mindless task and the dark circles under his big eyes. Instead you just bit the inside of your cheek and turned to leave. “Have fun wandering.”
——
You’d left early the next night, starting your walk around midnight instead of the usual 3am and you hurried down to the bus stop that would take you deep into the city. You pulled your headphones on tight and chewed on your lip as you waited for the stop you were planning to get off at.
When you got there, you were tugging on the stop signal line and standing up before the driver pulled the brakes. You swayed slightly when he came to a complete stop and you thanked him as you hopped off the high step, speed walking towards your destination and adjusting your bunny hat on your head before you passed through the doors.
The loud chime of the stores entrance bell rang uncomfortably loud through your ears and you winced at the volume, ducking behind one of the tall shelves and grabbing a few snacks at random before making your way over to the register.
Jake was there again now, giving you that familiar greeting smile and you couldn’t help but feel a small wave of disappointment. You weren’t sure why you thought the boy from last night would be back again considering he’d clearly told you he was just filling in for his friend but you frowned slightly and mumbled a greeting to the boy in front of you instead.
“You’re here early.” Jake was starting and you almost sighed. He was friendly and you admired how much energy he had but he often tried to engage in conversation with you whenever you came by, despite the annoyed glances you occasionally threw his way. “You almost missed me.”
You picked your head up at this, suddenly more alert and raising an eyebrow towards him in interest. As far as you knew, Jake was the only third shift worker and he must’ve barely started considering how early in the night it still was so he must’ve meant he was leaving before his usual time.
“Who’s going to watch the store then?” You were asking him and you tried to ignore how knowing the smile he was giving you was, laughing slightly at the fact you were suddenly interested in what he had to say for the first time ever.
“My best friend, Heeseung.” He was responding slowly and you faltered slightly, not knowing the boy from yesterday’s name so you didn’t want to get too excited over nothing. “He helped me out last night and said it was more interesting than he expected so he offered again.”
“He offered?” You were speaking before he even finished his last syllable and you flushed with embarrassment at the look he gave you, shuffling awkwardly on your feet and waiting for him to respond now that you confirmed it was the same person.
He didn’t say anything but he gave a soft hum of agreement and continued to swiftly bag your snacks, much more natural and efficient than his friend but you liked the way Heeseung stared at the register like it was an alien object. You were interested in him just from the small conversation you had, although feeling uncomfortable at the emotion considering it wasn’t something you usually felt.
You chalked it down to the fact he reminded you of yourself, not so much in his lazy smiles and casual demeanor but something about the way his tired eyes looked around.
Jake was opening his mouth again to speak and you looked up at him curiously but you both froze at the sound of the entrance bell ringing again, looking over to see the boy in question entering.
He froze when he saw the two of you staring at him, eyes falling to your hat and then down to your face which caused his to flicker with recognition. He cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck, looking even taller now that he wasn’t standing behind the counter.
Heeseung was wearing a large hoodie pulled over his head and you could see the wires of his headphones going down into his shirt, tangled around his wrist that was clutching onto the strap of the backpack he was wearing. It was light looking and you weren’t sure if he had anything inside it or if he was just carrying it to give himself something to hold onto.
“Hey.” Jake was smiling at him and simultaneously handing you your plastic bag full of random snacks, hitting you with the reminder you had no real reason to stay in the store now despite the fact Heeseung had just arrived.
“Um.. thanks.” You were awkwardly muttering and taking it from him, shifting a few steps towards the door but stopping when you realized the tall boy was still standing in front of it and you had no way around him.
He was watching you still with a curious expression and you felt embarrassed suddenly, knowing Jake must have pieced together your reason for coming here so early and now he was watching you clam up and leave before you’d even gotten the chance to speak a word to the boy.
You were just standing there in silence, waiting for him to move and silently praying he would do you didn’t have to awkwardly shuffle around his large frame, when he suddenly was adjusting the backpack on his shoulders and clearing his throat while looking past you towards his friend.
“Change of plans. I’m busy tonight.” He was saying in a low determined voice and you could hear Jake sigh from behind you, your eyes widening slightly in confusion until the other boy was looking back at you with a small smile on his face. “Want to hang out with me?”
It took a few seconds for you to register he was actually asking you, staring up at him with an open mouth and stuttering for a moment before giving up on a verbal answer and nodding your head swiftly. He smiled even more at that and then he was waving goodbye to his friend, turning back around and holding the door open for you so you could quickly scurry out of it.
You weren’t too sure what to do, still feeling too nervous to speak clearly so you paused and waited to see if he would say something first. He didn’t but he lifted an eyebrow and gave you an expectant look, silently telling you that you were in charge of your destination for the night.
The pressure of a decision made you sigh softly and you gave him a weird look that made him chuckle, thinking for a moment before turning on your heel and walking away. He jogged slightly to catch up with you and you walked in comfortable silence for a few moments.
“Can I ask where we are going?” He was eventually mumbling, leaning down and towards you slightly so you could hear him at his low volume. Your lip curled up at the fact he was whispering for no reason.
“You don’t trust me?” You were asking him back and your teasing attitude seemed to catch him off guard for a second, raising his hands in mock defense and cocking an eyebrow in challenge.
“I do trust you actually, weirdly.” He paused and you could feel him looking sideways at you. You ignored his gaze and kept facing forward, following the sidewalk that was cutting through the park near the river. “Considering you don’t even know my name.”
You almost replied telling him that you did know his, that you’d been repeating it in your mind since Jake had informed you of it in the store but you figured that would be too forward and instead you just hummed softly. He didn’t ask you for your name, or even offer his and for some reason you had a feeling he already knew it.
Possibly asking Jake about you, an easy answer considering your unusual attire and late night arrival, and that being the reason behind the cashiers knowing smirk when you pushed through the glass door.
“Is this what you normally do?” He was talking again after a few more minutes of silent walking and this time, it was your turn to look at him from the side of your eye. “Walk around?”
“I don’t know.” You shrugged and you felt one of the bunny ears from your hat fall off your shoulder at the movement. You weren’t sure why you didn’t give him a straight forward answer, knowing perfectly well your usual routine.
It felt strange to be accompanied by somebody even though he wasn’t talking much, you could tell he was thinking and wanting to ask you things and as much as you were intrigued by him it was slightly unsettling you to be around somebody for this long.
You spent most your days isolated, not having anybody to talk to at home considering any attempt of conversation with your father usually ended poorly anyways, eventually giving up altogether unless he was grunting something to you every morning when you wandered back into the house.
At school it was relatively the same, or most times worse. You don’t think the other students necessarily meant to complete ice you out but nobody seemed to know how to talk to you after your mom died, at first being overly compassionate and eager to empathize with you vocally and then eventually fading off into small pitiful smiles when they met your tired eyes in the hallway or eyeing you when you came into class late with messy hair.
Heeseung didn’t seem to be giving you any of these looks, he looked confused by your behavior at times but it was accompanied by small smirks or friendly chuckles.
You once again wondered why he was awake right now, why he seemed like he was used to this setting as much as you and not like he was forcing himself to stay up for the sake of making a new friend. You were curious what he was thinking about and what lead him to ask you to hang out in the first place.
“Have you been to the coffee shop on 44th?” He was suddenly asking and breaking you from your train of thought, his voice still in a low whisper.
“Why are you being quiet?” You ignored his question and raised an eyebrow in his direction, tugging on your sleeve and watching the way he faltered slightly.
“Guess I’m not used to talking to somebody this late.” He was shrugging now and he almost looked embarrassed at your question, making you feel slightly guilty for making him uncomfortable.
It wasn’t that late yet, people were still wandering around from bars and late night dinners and you could hear the squeal of the bus brakes still running. The city was rarely ever dark, even in the parks near the bridge but the mood changed sometime around 4am and you felt like the trees were sleeping. Everything was still awake now however and Heeseung whispering was driving you a bit crazy.
“What about Jake?” You were asking him more now, trying to make conversation so he knew you didn’t mean any harm from your comment.
“Jake’s a freak of nature.” He was relaxing again at the mention of his friend, a smile naturally slipping back onto his face at the familiar topic. “You know he works this shift and still goes to school? He even plays football at Hope.”
The mention of your schools college made you freeze for a second, faltering in your step and causing him to look back at you with concern, turning his body so he could face you now that you were lagging behind him. He raised an eyebrow at you and you gave him a confused look.
“You guys go to Hope?” You were saying it slowly so he heard you clearly and his head cocked like a confused dog.
“I don’t, Jake is older than us.” His use of the word threw you off completely and he must’ve noticed because he let out an awkward laugh at your reaction, scratching his neck in embarrassment. “We’re in the same grade.”
“We like… as in me and you?” You rushed out and he nodded his head, hands coming up in panic when you let out a low groan of guilt.
“It’s okay, don’t worry! I didn’t recognize you at first either, it’s a big class.” He was rambling to try and make you feel better about the fact you didn’t even realize he was your classmate, his comfortable behavior suddenly making more sense. You’d definitely never spoken to him but the fact he’d seen you around such a familiar place would make more sense towards why he was so willingly to walk around with you in the middle of the night.
“I’ve been there since Kindergarten.” You blurted out with wide eyes, exclaiming loudly in pure shock that you’d been so oblivious.
“Me too..” He was awkwardly offering with a wince like he knew it would just make the situation worse that’d you’d been classmates for over a decade.
You raised your sweater covered hands up to your face and groaned loudly, pulling your bunny ears in front of your eyes so you didn’t have to look at his sheepish expression anymore. You could hear him laughing softly at how dramatic you were being and you moved one ear to the side to send him a half glare.
“It’s really okay.” He was laughing out and you could see his soft smile from your one uncovered eye, watching him with a flushed face and growing embarrassment the more amused he became. “It’s not like you’re there much anyways.”
He was saying it casually, like he hadn’t even thought about it before it came out of his mouth but you both froze up at the same time at his accidental admission. You slowly moved your ears to the side and raised an eyebrow at him, leaning your upper half forward slightly and trying not to smile at the fact he was now the one flushing in embarrassment.
“So you notice me?” You were dragging out the words and your lip curled up in amusement, racking through your mind for times you’d seen the tall boy and coming up blank. In your defense, your entire school catalogue section of your brain was completely empty and that included cute boys with giant backpacks.
“I mean… well it’s just like… it’s not like I was stalking you or anything.” He was rambling on and moving his hands around a lot like he was really trying to prove his point, going back to awkwardly scratching at his neck when you gave him a disbelieving look.
“Heeseung.” You cut him off and he paused for a second in surprise, making you realize you’d just said his name without ever asking him for it.
He seemed to relax at that, knowing you also knew more about him than you were previously letting on and his shoulders lowered now that he was less tensed. He looked like he wanted to speak again but you felt embarrassed suddenly and took a few steps forward slowly, waiting for him to get the memo that you wanted to continue on your walk.
The two of you fell back into another spout of silence, awkward at first and then more comfortable as you got deeper into the city. It was more relaxed accompanied by the sounds of people laughing and cars honking their horns, kitchen staff wishing each other goodnight as they left different restaurants and swapped signs over to closed.
You were glancing over at Heeseung after a while and you studied him for a moment while he wasn’t paying attention, his big eyes looking around the city with the same expression you assumed you often had. No matter how many times you came down here, you always felt the exact same.
You always had this longing to capture the moment in some sort of way, giving up on photographs and videos quickly into your new habit considering they simply never were able to fully express how it felt. You tried writing about it, talking about the city always felt awake and how it unsettled you in a way that felt like a friendly challenge and not like your world flipping upside down.
“Where do you go?” You were asking him before you even realized it, watching his side profile as his big eyes opened wide for a second at the sudden sound of your voice and then darted right to look at you.
He seemed to think for a second and then he answered slowly. “I don’t know actually. Just here I guess, I just like to be here I think.”
The two of you watched each other for a few beats, holding the others gaze and you liked the way the neon signs behind you were reflecting off his round dark eyes. It was like a little piece of the city was frozen inside them and you almost said that to him before swallowing it, realizing how creepy it would sound out loud.
You didn’t say much else for the rest of the night, wandering around a bit more before eventually settling at one of the small parks near the center of the main area of downtown. You sat in silence like that, you pulling out your notebook that had few words and many sketches and Heeseung playing with the strings of his headphones as he listened to music.
You could faintly hear it coming from them, loud enough to reach you a few feet away and you considered telling him he was able to play it out loud if he wanted to but for some reason you felt like it was private, leaving him to listen by himself.
When the night was slowly changing into that familiar blue color, the stage right in the center of night and day when everything is coated in the indigo filter, you were standing up off the ground and dusting off your pants. Heeseung was looking up at you due to your sudden movement and you stood over him, offering him a hand so you could pull him up.
It was mainly his own strength put into moving his weight forward considering he was a lot taller than you and you were quite weak due to your lack of sleep, but he seemed to appreciate the friendly gesture and gave you a small smile after he was back on his feet.
“What bus do you take?” He was asking you on your way back to the 7/11 and you felt him looking at the side of your face.
“15.” You answered slowly, your voice softer now as the exhaustion started to seep in. You were suddenly grateful it was a weekend, the social interaction leaving you more tired than normal and hopefully giving you the opportunity to sleep an hour or two. “You?”
“Same, but Jake is bringing me home with him today.” He was mumbling and nodded your head, picking at the skin around your nails and feeling more guilt at the fact you’d never seen him on the bus before either. “Did you want a ride home?”
His question was surprising you and your eyes widened, looking at him and seeing the concern pass over his face at your sudden change of demeanor. You were shaking your head quickly, ears swooshing around your head and you raised a hand to shake it, really emphasizing your denial.
You couldn’t imagine your fathers reaction to you being brought home by a car, especially one that contained two teenage boys in the front seat. It already took him long enough to stop punishing you for leaving at night, eventually giving up on denying you your freedom once you started to pace around the house all night instead.
“Alright, no problem.” He said quickly and you were glad he didn’t push the topic although you could tell he wanted to, a curious look on his features. Heeseung seemed to have a habit of clearly showcasing his emotions and you were grateful considering it made him easier to understand but frustrated when it was a look of pity or sympathy on his face.
You didn’t say anything when he continued to walk with you past the convenience store, walking side by side on the sidewalks even as they thinned out as you slightly left the city area.
He still didn’t speak again even when you both stood together and waited for the bus to arrive, him leaning against the plastic material covering the stops bench and you standing outside of it so the driver didn’t just blow right past you, not expecting somebody out this late.
It was you that finally turned towards him once you caught sight of the bus approaching, tugging on one of your ears awkwardly and shuffling your feet while you waited for it to get closer. You could hear it squealing to a stop, the doors creaking open while he looked at you with a raised eyebrow.
“I’m…” His stare was throwing you off and you started to falter in your words while nervously looking behind you towards the driver who was waiting. “I’ll be here tomorrow around the same time so… if you wanted to.. or if like..”
You trailed off with a sigh but he seemed to get the general idea, a small smile on his face as he dipped his head down slightly in a conforming nod, relief washing over you at the fact he hadn’t found your indirect invitation weird or out of place. You raised your hand in a wave goodbye and he returned, watching you as you pulled your headphones over your hat and ears and boarded the bus swiftly, softly thanking the driver for waiting and finding a seat towards the back.
You could see him outside the window as you pulled off, still leaning against the booth and watching the bus as it left until it rounded the corner. You flushed at the fact he had walked you to your stop despite needing to return back to the city area to get a ride from Jake, not even hesitating when you passed by the store earlier.
It was exciting to be interested in somebody or even something at all, rarely feeling too extreme of emotions considering how dull and hazy everything became with your repeated exhausted routine. Not even your father, sprawled on the couch and surrounded by empty beer cans, could damper your mood as you entered your small house.
It took you a long time, hours staring at your ceiling with a half wandering mind but you eventually managed to get a little bit of sleep, thoughts of Heeseung and his wired headphones accompanying you.
——
The routine continued like this for awhile and you slowly got accustomed to it, now expecting to see him every time you boarded the bus and he was already there waiting for you with his large backpack saving you the seat beside him.
Sometimes you didn’t talk, walking in silence for hours or finding a nice place to sit and do your own individual activities side by side. Other nights you struck up small conversation, talking about the city and your favorite places to go and every once in a while delving into deeper categories that slowly chipped away at the uncomfortable feeling that always came along with attempting to trust somebody.
Heeseung was nice to you and you liked that about him as selfish as it sounded. He never expected you to answer his questions and he rarely pried, around the second day he had even started to pull out snacks from his backpack and hand them over to you after he opened them.
It was a bit into meeting now and he was walking you back to the bus stop, large hands tightly holding onto the straps of his backpack like they always were. He had lots of little habits like that and you carefully filed them all away in your memory. Sometimes he boarded the bus with you but others he just walked with you down there before leaning against the booth and waiting for you to round the corner.
Sometimes you wanted to ask him where he lived, he had to be further away from the city than you considering he was always on the bus before you at the start of the night but that would put him at even more of a distance from your school than you were already at.
Speaking of school, you’d yet to see him around the building and you surprised yourself by actually keeping an eye out throughout the day. You were scanning your tired eyes around the cafeteria and turning your dizzy head in classrooms to see if he was present but you’d not caught sight of him yet and you felt weird about asking where he was.
Maybe he didn’t want to be friends outside of the few hours of the night you spent together, time almost nonexistent here. You felt like the world was frozen most nights you spent with him around the city and you figured he must prefer that aspect versus actually interacting with you in the daytime where other people could see.
You were too distracted in your thoughts that you didn’t even realize your brain was auto-piloting and boarding onto the bus before you even checked if he was coming along, going to turn around to see and completely missing the first large step off the ground. You fell forward and you imagined your side would’ve painfully landed directed on the jagged edges of the steps but you didn’t get a chance to find out, suspending in mid air considering Heeseung had jolted forward to grab onto you.
You could feel his hand wrapped around your side, the other placed in the middle of your shoulder blades so he could support your weight without falling forward himself. Your eyes were wide from almost hurting yourself and you flushed bright red at the concerned look on his face, helping you back to a standing position but keeping his hand on your waist even after you were fully stable.
The bus driver was clearing his throat and Heeseung glanced behind him awkwardly like he was originally not meant to get on the bus, but he turned back towards you and took a step onto the same one you were standing on.
It didn’t pass by you that this was the closest you’d ever been to him, normally keeping a few feet between you when you found a place to sit for the night and rarely ever being close enough to bump shoulders while walking side by side. Now, since he was stood on the same small step as you, you were practically pushed up against him while his hand was still gently against your side despite not having a reason to hold onto you anymore.
He was leaning forward, his chest pressing against you more and you awkwardly looked down at his feet instead of focusing on how tall he was at this distance, and you vaguely registered the fact he was paying for both of your bus tickets.
He seemed to catch on to the fact you were out of it a bit and losing focus, his hand pushing into your side slightly to let you know it was time to fully enter the bus and find your seats. You expected him to let you go once you entered the thin aisle but he didn’t and even when he was stood behind you walking towards the back, he kept his hand around your waist like he was guiding you.
It was removed once you took your seats and you found yourself still able to feel it for some reason, the feeling burned into your mind as he awkwardly cleared his throat and scratched at the back of his neck again.
You glanced over at him and his nervous demeanor, his hands fidgeting with his ripped pants now like he was also still reeling from the feeling of touching you so randomly. His hair was messy like normal but it was getting longer now, falling forward into his eyes so you couldn’t quite see what his expression was. You watched him as he put his headphones in but you leaned forward slightly to confirm that he wasn’t actually playing any music.
“Did you have somewhere to be?” You were asking him softly and then repeating it louder when you realized his headphones might block out some of your volume.
He looked at you with a raised eyebrow and took the one closest to you out of his ear, wrapping it around the outside instead and thinking for a second before he gave you an answer.
“Not necessarily.” He was mumbling back but sighing softly when you gave him a disbelieving look. “Okay well kind of but I want to get you home first.”
“I barely tripped.” You were rolling your eyes at him being overly concerned but the flush in your face gave you away and he laughed softly.
“Maybe I just wanted to hang out with you a little bit longer.” He was shrugging and turning his head to look at you better, smiling more at the way you squeezed your shoulders together and awkwardly glared forward at the floor.
“We could always hang out in school.” You were offering after a few beats of silence and you immediately regretted it, not sure how it even managed to escape your lips considering you’d already told yourself you weren’t going to question him.
His initial reaction didn’t give anything away to you, face remaining blank like he hadn’t put much thought into it but you noticed his hands starting to pick at the tape wrapped around his headphone wire and you felt guilty for bringing it up. You were about to back track and tell him to forget about it or change the subject but he was humming softly.
“I think that’d be nice.” He was saying it casually but there was a nervous edge to his voice and your mouth was downturned slightly. “Where do you eat lunch at?”
“Near the side doors.” You were answering smoothly although you left out the fact you more so used the free half an hour for a quick nap instead of actually eating. “You?”
“The library.” He was saying it hesitantly like he wasn’t sure if he should lie or not, knowing full well there was a no eating policy in that section of the school and you’d realize he wasn’t actually eating at lunch either. You both paused for a second in heavy silence before you were snorting a laugh.
“So you’re a loser basically?” Your comment was teasing and he visibly relaxed at your reaction, chuckling softly and nudging you with his thin shoulder.
“Sorry to disappoint Ms. Popular.” He was retorting back and you were glad to see the small smile return to his face and stay there now that you’ve both established this change in routine.
You wondered if he’d been thinking about it too, keeping an eye out for you or if he was actively avoiding you throughout the hallways like you’d previously thought. Maybe he figured the same as you, that you wouldn’t want to be suddenly seen with him or you wouldn’t acknowledge him and it would ruin the friendship you were slowly building.
When you got off the bus it was nice to see him still there, trying not to wince at how close the stop was to your house and how if it didn’t pull off immediately he’d see you walk up to the overgrown grass with windows titled off their hinges.
You tried not to think about it and after you gave him a small wave through the window you turned on your heel and kept your face forward, steely in your resolve to not spare him another nervous glance. This time you father didn’t seem to be home and you were grateful for that considering you had a feeling you were absolutely radiating with how much you were thinking about the boy.
It was hard to go to sleep, even more so than normal, with the ghost of his hand pressed again you and the knowledge that tomorrow you now knew where to find him. It was up to the two of you to decide if you used this information or ignored it and you weren’t sure which route he was hoping you’d take.
——
“I thought you’d forgotten about me for a second there.” Heeseung’s low voice was hitting your ears the second you crossed into the library and you let out a sigh of relief upon seeing him.
You were worried for the first half of the day that it would be awkward, that you wouldn’t know what to say to each other and it would ruin everything you’d be enjoying so much, but you knew from the second he spoke that you’d made the right choice in coming to find him.
“I was about to give up.” You scowled at him and placed your bag down on the back of the chair, climbing up and sitting across from him at the high top round table in the back of the library. “You’re hard to track down.. plus the librarian kept glaring at me every time I passed her desk like I was trying to steal her books.”
“She’s probably just used to only seeing me.” He was explaining with a small smirk at your complaining and you frowned at him softly while taking a second to take him in.
You weren’t sure why you expected him to look different during the day time, feeling a bit stupid now that you looked at him and he looked exactly the same. Almost exactly, outside of how much more exhausted he looked now that he was running on even less sleep, his hair was messier than it was around 2am and he was nervously looking around.
Heeseung was always handsome to you, despite the fact you tried to pretend you didn’t think so the first few times you hung out, but you noticed things about him under the school lights that you had missed outside in the near dark.
For one, he had his eyebrow pierced. You’re not exactly sure how you managed to not notice that considering you were currently frozen to your seat as you saw it gleaming against the light when he turned his head to look at you in confusion.
He looked embarrassed at the fact you were staring at him so intensely and he brought a hand up to mess with his bangs, the face jewelry disappearing back behind his hair and showcasing why you failed to see it before. His hand had bandaids on a few of his fingers and you almost asked him about them until he tucked them back into his hoodie sleeves.
“You don’t eat?” He was clearing his throat and asking you in a low tone, leaning forward slightly to ensure that you could hear him.
You were shaking your head softly and then shrugging, almost becoming awkward enough to regret coming. “Foods no good here anyway.”
He watched you for a few seconds and you were curious what he was thinking, if he was making similar observations as you. You were suddenly reminded you couldn’t wear your bunny hat to school and it might be the first time he’s seen you without it, seen how dark your under eyes are and how dry and chapped your lips become this time of year.
You didn’t like that you thought about this, didn’t like that you cared about what he was thinking about your appearance.
“We could go get some food after school.” He was suggesting it with a shrug but his eyes were watching you intensely with a hint of hesitance, almost like he was expecting you to say no.
You felt like your breath caught for a few seconds, holding tightly in your chest and you hoped your eyes didn’t widen too much at his suggestion. He was still watching you but his eyes softened slightly at your surprised expression, amused that you seemed just as nervous as he was about this change of pacing.
“Are you paying?” You were eventually wheezing out after a few seconds, letting the words tumble out at the same time your big gulp of air did.
His smile was familiar, the same one he gave you when he caught you staring at him in the park for a sketch reference, the same one he would offer everytime you’d skip onto the bus and grin once you caught sight of him saving your seat. You thought it looked even better in the sunlight.
——
You tried not to think about how weird it was that you and Heeseung left school together, side by side and bumping into each other while navigating the hoard of students all trying to squeeze out of the doors to escape the building.
You wondered if anybody else thought it was weird, if anyone paid enough attention to you in recent years to wonder who the tall boy next to you was. The boy who was currently snaking a hand down to your side like he had at the bus, gently guiding you through a gap in the crowd so you could get outside faster than it would be to stand and wait.
Your face was flushing bright red but he luckily seemed to focused on getting out of the mass of people to realize, eyebrows furrowed in a stressed out expression.
He didn’t remove his hand even after you’d gotten out of the tight pile of bodies, keeping it there comfortably but you knew by the heavy silence that you both were aware it wasn’t anything normal for him to do. You almost couldn’t tell, almost convinced yourself this was his typical behavior and you’d somehow just not realized it, but when you caught his eye and he quickly looked away with a small pink to his cheeks you knew it wasn’t.
Little things were different during daytime hours but not enough to make your head completely spin, giving you that familiar overwhelmed feeling that left you taking deep breaths in the bathroom stall.
The bus was actually full of people for once, only one seat left in the middle of the aisle and Heeseung hurriedly sat you down on it before it was taken. He was standing above you holding onto the pole near the top of the ceiling and you would’ve felt bad he had to do that so you could sit if it wasn’t for the small glances and grins he was sending down your way every time he caught you staring.
When you reached further into the city, somewhere you didn’t fully recognize but he must’ve considering the was leaning forward towards you and tugging on the stop rope, you both thanked the driver and left the bus.
You tried not to be disappointed when he didn’t hold onto you again, silently cursing yourself for feeling that way anyways and pushing it down. You took your backpack off your shoulders as you walked and held it in front of you, fishing for something inside with an annoyed sigh after a few seconds passed without feeling it.
Eventually the familiar fabric was grazing your fingers and you smiled softly as you pulled out your hat and situated it over your head again, pulling a few pieces of hair out in the front and glancing over at Heeseung who had been watching you.
“Woah Y/N, when’d you get here?” He was mock gasping, a hand coming up to cover his mouth and stumble back on the sidewalk like you had surprised him.
You grumbled at his antics and elbowed him in the side, trying to pretend your heart didn’t pick up in pace when he laughed loudly at your reaction and grabbed onto your jacket so he didn’t go tumbling into the street from your small shove. He didn’t let go for a few seconds even after he was steadied, rubbing the materiel between his fingers before dropping it.
You wondered if he was always this touchy with people or if he had just grown comfortable with you fast considering the strange and slightly intimidate circumstances you’d been hanging out under.
He was walking side by side with you but you were following his lead, still not exactly sure where he was bringing you to. You fell back into a comfortable silence like you always did as you traversed the city and you felt a little bit dizzy due to exhaustion and the bright glare of the sun.
It only worsened when you were rounding a corner, passing by a large building that was originally blocking your view of the next street over, and you caught sight of a familiar back that caused you to freeze in your tracks.
Heeseung took a few steps forward before realizing you weren’t continuing and he turned back to look at you with a concerned expression, approaching you again and standing in front of you. His large frame was blocking your view now but you slowly leaned over to look past him and immediately shot back to hide behind his chest and wince.
“What’s wrong?” He was rushing out and his eyebrows were furrowed with worry, a hand coming up but stopping just short of your arm like he wasn’t sure he was supposed to touch you.
“I-I have to go.” You were rushing out and you felt embarrassed underneath your panic, hands shaking slightly and you swallowed harshly.
He was frowning and turning his body to look behind him and try to see whatever had spooked you, immediately whipping back around due to the fact him moving had allowed you to see the man again, this time facing your direction with a suspicious look on his face. You imagined it was due to the fact Heeseung was just standing in the middle of the sidewalk but your heart started to race so hard it was painful at the chance he had seen you.
“Who is that?” Heeseung was, thankfully, getting the idea slowly and lowering his face as he spoke to you. You didn’t answer immediately and he was bending down so he was closer to your face, his hand finally connecting to your arm and cupping the back of your elbow. “Y/N, who is that?”
“It’s my dad.” You whispered back in a harsh tone and you’re not sure why you said it, never talking about family or each others parents before and never planning to.
Heeseung paused for a second and then his eyes were darkening like he had figured something else out, you felt humiliated knowing he must be piecing together every strange reaction you’ve ever had to the suggestion of being brought home by Jake or for him to walk you to your door.
He was glancing behind him again and a small noise of protest slipped out of your mouth, your hands coming up to land on his chest and scrunch his hoodies fabric up in your hands. He was looking back at you quickly and his eyes softened at the scared expression on your face but could still see anger swimming in his.
You weren’t sure if Heeseung was a violent person, thinking there was no way it was possible for the boy who was as sweet to you as he was unprompted, to ever willingly harm somebody but you’d also never given him any reason to be mean or treat you poorly. You thought about his bandaged hands for a second and then immediately felt guilty for doing so.
“Let me take you home.” He was saying after a few seconds and you shook your head, too overwhelmed to think clearly for a second. “Baby, let me take you home.”
The pet name snapped you out of it and you looked up at him, feeling more and more humiliated by the second at the fact your eyes were watering and you were still anxiously bunching his hoodie in your hands.
“T-the bus is too slow, he’s just now leaving the liquor store but he has a car and by the time we walk back and get on and it makes all the stops it’ll be too late and-“ You were speaking a mile a minute and you felt his hand squeeze your arm before he cut you off.
“I’m parked around the corner.” He rushed out in an attempt to stop you so you could take a breath, freezing and furrowing your eyebrows in confusion when you registered what he was saying. He winced slightly at your reaction and a weird feeling passed through your chest. You were raising your hands off of his chest before slamming them back down against him in annoyance, ignoring the small pained sound he made.
“You idiot.” You spat out at him in a harsh whisper, shaking your head and glaring up at his guilty face. “You’ve had a car this entire time?”
He looked sheepish and you suddenly felt very stupid for somehow missing this, and then slightly flattered and embarrassed that he had been riding the bus with you every single day despite being parked in the opposite direction. It made sense now to you why he was sometimes hesitant to board, unlocking the knowledge that he had been riding it all the way back alone after you’d gotten off.
“Not the entire time.” He was trying to explain himself but you could tell he was lying slightly. “It was in the shop the first time we met, that’s why Jake drove me home.”
You sighed and glared at him again but you weren’t actually mad, just slightly upset that he had been inconveniencing himself this much for some reason you didn’t quite understand.
“I just wanted an excuse to spend more time with you.” He was offering an explanation before you even had a chance to ask him and your expression softened at the reasoning, hands flatting out against him in a silent apology for hitting him.
“You’re still an idiot.” You were mumbling but your voice held no malice and he smiled at the fact he was clearly forgiven. Things felt tensioned again now that the conversation died down and you were both suddenly reminded of the fact you were touching each other and standing nearly toe to toe. “I really do have to go.”
“And I really will take you.” He was whispering back with a stressed sincerity and you frowned from the guilt of both making him drive you and not eating together like you had planned.
Heeseung was guiding you back around the buildings corner slowly, backing you up and shuffling forward with you so you didn’t need to step out from behind his chest and risk being seen. You were pouting as you awkwardly walked backwards and it remained on your face even when you were able to face forward like normal and follow him to where he had parked his car.
His car looked pretty much exactly how you figured it would, low to the ground and chipping paint in different sections of it but it was very him and you laughed softly when you remembered how ridiculous it was that he’d had one this entire time.
He seemed embarrassed when you got into the passenger seat, looking into the backseat to check if it was messy and rearranging the different CD’s that were sitting on top of his center console. You moved them over to your lap and started to mess with them while he pulled off the curb.
“Basement, Title Fight,” You were humming softly while flipping through them and reading out the artist titles, ignoring the way he was sending you nervous side glances between looking at the road. “Elliot Smith.. is this what you’re always playing in your headphones?”
“Too cliche?” He was retorting back and you scrunched your nose when you looked up at his side profile, a small smirk playing on his lips at your amusement.
“The fact you even keep CD’s still is kind of cliche.” You were throwing back to him and he glanced at you to smile fully and shake his head, watching the way you were leaned against his car door and casually looking through his stuff for a second before going back to focusing on the road.
“You still like me even though I listen to scratched CD’s and drive a 2002 shit bucket?” He was responding and you both paused.
His wording didn’t miss you but you weren’t sure if it was intentional or not, also unable to tell if he was speaking in a platonic way or if he was genuinely asking you if you liked him romantically. His mouth was parting like he was trying to think of a way to backtrack and you cleared your throat before he could, leaning forward to push a CD into the radios slot.
He didn’t say anything for a few seconds and you let the song play for a beat or two before you were leaning back into his torn leather seats and glancing at him again.
“Yeah.. I still like you.” Your voice was lower than it was before, barely filtering over the sound of the music building up but you knew he managed to catch it considering the way he was biting the inside of his cheek and avoiding looking in your direction for the rest of the ride.
He didn’t need to ask you for the way to your neighborhood considering he’s been riding past it 4 times a day but he glanced at you for help when you entered the street and you leaned forward to point towards your house. Your dads car wasn’t in the driveway and you breathed a sigh of relief when he pulled up near the curb.
You didn’t think too much about the state of disarray your home was in this time, for some reason not minding if he saw how messed up things were for you. The feeling had settled into your stomach that he wouldn’t care, that he wasn’t going to give you a sorry look or treat you differently.
He was surprising you by opening his door before you’d gotten out and you watched him round the hood with confusion, flushing when he came over to your side to open yours for you and hold it while you scrambled out. You leaned against the door once he had closed it behind you and he stood in front of you like he had on the sidewalk, his dirty sneakers pressing against the toe of yours.
“So…” You were dragging out the word and trailing off nervously, looking up at him through your eyelashes and thinking about how cute he looked peering down at you.
“So.” His lips were curling up in a smirk at your lack of words and you frowned at the expression, reaching up to pinch at his arm and keep it there when he let out a low chuckle. His hand was coming up to touch your bunny hat and you laughed softly at the way he pushed it behind your shoulder, almost like it was a piece of your hair.
“We shouldn’t be talking here.” You told him in a low voice, not wanting to speak any louder considering how close his face was getting to yours. “My dad would kill me if he saw you.”
“Right.” He was nodding but he wasn’t taking a step back or making any move that indicated he was going to leave, just watching you and you could feel his arm tense underneath your touch. “Do you want me to go?”
You were shaking your head swiftly although you knew he needed to, you liked his company and you found yourself missing him every time you were away for too long. You somehow managed to have fun today despite the fact you’d almost had a panic attack upon seeing your dad and how awkward it had felt to search for him in the school.
“I should go.” He was sighing even though you had said you didn’t want him to, thinking logically despite obviously also not wanting to leave. He was leaning forward again and for a second you could feel his chest pushed up against yours before he swayed back like he hadn’t done it.
Your heart felt heavy at the fact he was going to leave you there, in such a rotten place that left you restless and miserable, but you were slightly humiliated by the large frown on your face. Before you could think about it, in an attempt to hide your expression, you were pulling him forward by his hoodie sleeve and wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug.
He hesitated for a few seconds, just from the surprise of the contact, and then he was slowly wrapping his long arms completely around you and keeping you pulled tightly to his chest. You could feel him take a deep breath, surrounded by his warmth and burying your face into the soft fabric of his oversized hoodie, listening to his heart beat increase slightly when you squeezed him for a second.
You were pulling back after a few seconds, leaning into the car again and you knew your face must’ve been flushed red with a dazed look in your eyes considering the way he faltered and smiled sheepishly at you.
“Well.. I have to go.” You were rushing out to him and he nodded, taking a step back so you were able to walk away without having to push past his large frame.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” His voice was lower than normal and carrying a slight rasp that made something flip around in your gut, trying not to look at him as you quickly waved and scurried away up your front path and into the doorway.
You stood there, back pressed against your front door now that it was closed, and took deep breaths to try and calm yourself down as you listened to his car pull off. A smile was building itself up on your face despite being slightly embarrassed over your bold move and you felt like a cloud of giddiness was following you around.
“So that’s what you sneak off to do every night?” Your entire body froze up in shock and you immediately stopped in place, bones going rigid and blood running cold at the sound of your fathers slurred voice coming from the living room.
Any sense or happiness or calm Heeseung had brought you was immediately disappearing and replaced with terror at the realization he was home, and had clearly seen you through the window before you came inside. You were stuck in silence and you could feel the dark tension radiating off of him although you couldn’t even see him yet.
“You’re out there embarrassing me, making a mess of our name.” He was hissing and you watched him rise from his arm chair and come out of the shadows like a fairytale monster, cowering in on yourself like you were a little girl again. “Whoring around with that delinquent.”
“N-no dad, I promise it isn’t like that I just-“ He was cutting you and your stutters off, slamming his hand down against the wall near your head and you closed your eyes in a wince, listening to the way the framed photos rattled on the wall.
A few seconds passed and you were holding your breath, waiting for him to continue to insult you and tell you what you had done wrong but when the tension continued to grow you realized he was more angry than you thought. You felt your hands hit the floor before you felt the pain in your cheek, not even realizing he had hit you for a few seconds because of the shock.
He’d hit you before but it was rare in recent years, not wanting to risk you showing up to school with a black eye or bruised cheek.
Your hand was coming up to cup the side of your face, shaking against your skin and feeling how hot and swollen it already was from his large calloused palm. You didn’t want to look at him and see his sneering face, instead staring forward at the way your bunny hat had flown off on impact and landed a few feet away on the floor.
“No more going out at night.” He was spitting the words down at you, curled into a ball against the wall on the floor and willingly away the pain under your palm. “I’ll put a padlock on your door if I have to.”
With that, he was staggering back into the darkness of the living room and you could hear the groan of the armchair under his weight. You sat there for a few more seconds, frozen and making sure it was clear for you to move before you were scurrying up the stairs and grabbing your hat as you passed by.
When you got to your room you threw it into the corner and collapsed onto your bed in a fit of sobs, burying your face deep into your pillow and crying so hard you thought you might just explode.
You felt even worse for the reason you were crying, not because you’d gotten caught or punished and not because your father was upset with you. You cried over the fear of not being able to see Heeseung anymore, the idea of never being able to safely return to the city at night causing you such distress you continued to sob until your throat was sore and your chest ached.
The sun was setting eventually and your room was darkening, never having the light switch turned on and just letting the night take over every single day, but you failed to notice considering how burrowed under the covers in your own misery you were.
You didn’t mean to care about somebody this deeply, having sworn against it after your mother passed and you were left with a shell of a man, your father becoming half the person he was with grief and never bothering to heal himself for your sake. You’d spent recent years tiptoeing around the house and trying to show as little evidence as possible that you existed, part of the reason he didn’t fully mind you disappearing at night or sleeping all day.
You felt stupid but getting caught with Heeseung after so narrowly escaping your father in the city, completely letting your guard down and being foolish because of your feelings.
But the other part of you didn’t care, you deserved to be giddy and act stupid because you liked somebody and his reaction wasn’t your fault.
Thinking of Heeseung made you remember he’d probably be waiting for you tonight and you started to cry harder again. You were worried he’d over think about your intimacy and small confession today and mistake you not showing up to the bus stop as you rejecting him, retreating back into yourself and leaving him alone like he had been before your night time meetings.
You must’ve dozed off from crying and the stress of the day, only waking up with dry skin and swollen eyes when you started to register a faint repeated noise.
You were sitting up with a puffy pout and looking around in a dazed confusion, at first because you couldn’t identify it and then even more so because you realized it was coming from your window. You staggered out of bed to open it and stop the noise and you let out a gasp, ducking and just barely missing being hit by a small stone that flew into your room.
“Fuck.” A voice down below was whispering and you glanced down to see Heeseung stood at the side of your house with his hoodie pulled up over his head. “Did I hit you? I’m sorry.”
You felt panic grow in your chest at the sight of him although you were happy to see that you had a chance to explain what had happened, glancing behind you in fear before turning again to glare at him from the second floor.
“You can’t be here.” You hissed out and he gave you a guilty look, like he knew you were going to say that but couldn’t help himself anyways. You let out a small sigh and you eyes softened at his expression. “I told you he was going to kill me.”
You didn’t need to say it for him to understand that your dad must’ve been home and you saw his face darken again like it had earlier, feeling thankful that you were too high up and it was too dark for him to see the bruise that must have been forming on your face now.
“Is he awake?” He was whispering back after a few seconds and you paused at his unexpected question.
He didn’t say anything when you held up a finger to indicate you’d be back, tiptoeing back to the other side of your room and cracking open the door. You held your breath so you could hear every noise clearly and you waited until the sound of his snores filtered up the stairs to you, confirming he had drank himself unconscious again and was out for the night. You still didn’t want to risk sneaking out and having him wake up and you walked back to your window with a heavy heart.
“He’s out but-“ You were starting to explain you couldn’t come along when Heeseung was nodding and walking towards the front of your house, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion as you called his name softly. He turned back to look at you and you raised your hands in bewilderment. “What are you doing?”
“Let me in.” He whisper yelled back and gave you a look like it was an obvious thing for you to do, smiling slightly when your astonished face only deepened.
You were groaning when he disappeared around the side of the house and you left your room before you had a chance to think about it more, sneaking down the stairs as silently as possibly and trying not to let out a breath when you passed by the entrance to the living room.
It was strange to see Heeseung on your porch when you cracked open the front door, even stranger when he took a step inside your hallway and you took him in against the familiar setting. You hadn’t had somebody inside your house in years and you were thankful that he kept his gaze tightly on you and didn’t look around at the mess.
You brought a finger to your lips and indicated towards the living room where your dad was, a loud snore coming from him at that exact moment and causing you to jump where you stood. Heeseung was bringing a hand up to your arm in an attempt to calm you and he nodded in understanding that he needed to keep quiet.
When you took a step on the first stair you winced and glanced back at him, knowing his weight and tall frame would make it groan louder than normal.
Still, you took his hand in yours and let it hang behind you as you gently led him up the old wood and into the hallway that would lead to your bedroom. He still didn’t speak once you entered it and for a second you were worried he would ask you to turn the lights on, thankful when he finally took a deep breath and glanced around at your belongings.
“So this is where she returns to.” He was muttering under his breath and you felt a little embarrassed as he took in your room.
Not as embarrassed as you felt when he was looking back at you intensely, you figured he could see you better now that you were closer and illuminated by the moonlight shining in from your window but you knew you were correct when his eyes were hardening again suddenly. You winced slightly when his hands were coming up to cup your face, the right one just hovering and not connecting with the bruised and swollen skin.
“This was him?” He was whispering, his eyes filtering up to stare into yours and your stomach turned at how serious he sounded. You hadn’t seen him have this look in his eye before and it put you slightly on edge.
You were hesitantly nodding your head and you knew your eyes must have started watering judging by the fact his face softened and he gently caressed your uninjured cheek, shaking his head and bringing you over to sit down on your bed.
“I’m sorry.” He was whispering to you and leaning forward to connect your foreheads, watching you with a hurt look. It was reminiscent of the pitiful glance so many people have given you throughout your life but you knew it was different, he was different.
“It’s not your fault.” You were telling him and you truly meant it, your hand coming up to rest on his wrist and squeeze it softly.
“It is though. I should’ve dropped you off up the street where the bus stops, it was stupid.” He was muttering and you wanted to remind him that you’d pointed out your house and you’d been the one to tell him to stay, but you weren’t sure it was going to make much of a difference.
You thought about the fact he was inside of your house right now, only a few hours after you’d gotten punished for even being seen with him and you snorted a teary laugh at the irony of calling such a small act, such as earlier stupid.
“You make me stupid.” You were telling him and he smiled softly at your joking tone, knowing that you were completely serious.
“You scared me when you didn’t show up.” He was saying back and his tone was serious again, brushing back your hair that was normally hidden under your knitted hat. “I was about to tear the city apart looking for you before I thought about coming here first.”
You laughed slightly at the idea of somebody as kind as Heeseung raging through the city in search of you, pressing your head harder against his before leaning back a bit so you could take a deep breath and shake your head at him.
“You’re lucky I woke up before him.” Your tone was light and teasing but you both understood the heavy truth in the statement, his face dropping again.
He had failed to take you literally when you exclaimed about your father killing you but you didn’t blame him, not liking the guilt that coated his face again as he mirrored your deep breath.
“You couldn’t have known.” You were telling him in a gentle voice but he was still not looking at you, only picking up his head when your hand was brushing through his bangs. “Heeseung, it’s not your fault.”
He was nodding softly and chewing on his lip but you had a feeling he was only agreeing to make you feel better, still having that dark guilty look on his face. You sighed softly and glanced behind you at your small bed, scooting back a few inches before looking at him again.
He was giving you a soft and tired smile, clearly understanding what you were insinuating and you tried to not throw up from nerves when you were both moving around so you could lay down on your bed together. You’d been experiencing the most intimacy you’d had since you were a kid with him and your stomach was tight with anxiety.
Heeseung didn’t seem to think much of it, flopping back against your pillows and sucking in a deep relieved sigh. His one knee was bent upwards towards your ceiling and his left arm was sprawled across the rest of the bed, leaving you no choice but to lay on top of it. He was pulling you forward slightly by your shoulders so you could rest your head on his chest and you were slightly relieved to hear how fast it was beating, despite his calm demeanor.
“How’d we get here.” You were whispering after a bit of silence and you could feel his laughter before you heard it, his warm chest rumbling slightly with the sound
“I thought you looked cute standing up to two drunk assholes.” He mumbled back and you pinched his side slightly, draping your arm across his stomach. “You should’ve seen Jake’s face when I asked about you the next morning.”
“Probably the same expression he had when I ran into the store four hours early.” You felt embarrassed to be admitting it but you liked the way it made him laugh again, gently rubbing your shoulder over the shared fact you both had been interested in each other from the start.
You fell into silence again and after a moment you picked your head up again to look at him closer, still pressed against his side but rolling onto your stomach slightly so you could study his face. He was watching you with a curious expression and your hand come up to brush his bangs back, revealing his eyebrow piercing to you again.
He didn’t say anything when you pressed against it, rolling one of the balls between your fingers for a few seconds before rubbing along his eyebrow bone until you hit the bump of metal, but his eyes darkened slightly at your fascination and you faintly felt his hand slip down to your side and squeeze it.
“He called you a delinquent.” You were whispering to him with a small smirk, raising an eyebrow as you recounted what your father had said about him. “He’d probably lose his mind if he came in here right now.”
Heeseung didn’t seem to share your amusement about the subject considering how hard his face was as you talked about it, only his eyes staying soft as he looked over your features from such a close distance.
“I’d kill him.” He was mumbling back and you snickered for a second before realizing he wasn’t laughing, his face serious as he watched you for your reaction to what he was saying. You frowned slightly and laid your hands down on his chest, rubbing it for a second before shaking your head.
“Don’t say that.” You were muttering under your breath, following it with an awkward laugh at the sudden tension in the air.
“I’m serious.” He was saying back immediately and you looked back up at his eyes, frowning deeper since you knew he was telling the truth. A part of you felt strangely prideful about it, your stomach lighting up at the fact he was so protective over you and willingly to interfere if your father busted through the door.
The other part of you was slightly concerned with his sudden demeanor, only catching glimpses of it before and brushing it off considering how gentle and lighthearted he always was with you. You wondered if it was a good time to ask him about the bandages around his hands but you decided against it.
“Then what?” You surprised yourself by humoring his hypothetical situation for a second, watching the way his eyebrows jumped in surprise. “What happens after?”
“You can come with me.” He was saying it swiftly like it was something he’d considered before, eyes remaining serious despite the fact he was noticeably being more careful with his words.
You hummed softly at him, your hand moving from his chest to trail up his neck for a second before coming back to rest again. You didn’t think anything of the movement, just absentmindedly touching him and being fascinated by the feeling of somebody else’s skin other than yours, but you could tell by the way his eyes darkened that you had caught his attention.
“Would you come with me?” He was asking in a low voice, eyes tired and lazy as he peered down at you but very much focused in on your expression as he waited for your response.
You were watching him in return and you were sure he could feel your heart beating against his arm, rolling back around so you were laying on your side again and cuddled up against his side instead of laying on your stomach and directly facing him. You knew your face must’ve been flushed by now and it continued to redden as you thought of a response.
“Of course I would.” You mumbled back and it slightly scared you how much you found yourself meaning the words.
Now it was his turn to him, low and rumbling in his chest against the side of your face. You scooted closer to him instinctively and you felt his hand gently squeeze against your side when he realized you were moving again, your shirt riding up slightly as you shifted so now his skin was pressed against yours.
You were glancing up at him at the feeling of him touching you and you awkwardly looked away when you realized he was already staring, a hazy look in his dark eyes. Heeseung’s demeanor felt different tonight, or maybe it was just the intimate setting.
“C’mere.” He was rasping out the word and the syllables were slurring together, your heartbeat so heavy and loud that you almost didn’t hear him for a few seconds. You scooted up further on his chest so you could look at him, your upper half lifted slightly so your face was hovering over his and he could bring a hand up to cup your uninjured cheek again.
“We can run away together.” He was muttering now that you were close to each others faces again, his big hand nearly covering the entire side of yours and you smiled softly at his statement. He looked slightly serious still but you saw the corner of his lip quirk up and you ducked your head in embarrassment. “I’d take care of you.”
“Oh, would you now?” Your voice was teasing and you raised your eyebrows at him, biting your lip to try and stop the big smile on your face from spreading. You let your arms shift forward again to rest on his chest and you could feel his collarbones under your palm.
He was nodding but not speaking again, watching you intensely and you felt your smile drop slightly at the look on his face. You’d been with a boy before, not all the way and nothing serious but you wouldn’t consider yourself necessarily unexperienced. Still, you’d never felt so tensioned and attracted to somebody before like you did with Heeseung and he hadn’t even tried to kiss you before.
His demeanor, confident but not ever cocky and sometimes sheepish like he acted on impulse, was the most attractive part of him to you and being in such close proximity didn’t help.
“Could you take care of me now?” You weren’t sure what pushed you to whisper the words out to him, hesitant and slow but being said nonetheless and you watch his eyes flash with something unfamiliar for a moment.
Then Heeseung was leaning forward off your pillows, his hand that was cupping your face being used to bring you forward so you could meet him halfway into a slow kiss that sent a shiver down your spine. You could feel his heart beating underneath your chest as you scooted forward more to completely lay on top of him and kiss him deeper.
You were overwhelmed by how perfect it felt to be kissing him, how warm and familiar the feeling of him underneath you was and you sucked in a small breath when he pulled back for a second before surging forward again to kiss him more.
If he was surprised by this he didn’t show it, his hand pushing up more so your shirt would ride up on your stomach and he could feel more of your side under his hand. You knew he felt the shiver wrack through you, the goosebumps on your skin at the feeling of the callousness of his and he chuckled softly into the kiss that was getting heavier with every passing second.
You could feel Heeseung biting down on your lip, almost painfully, and you were reminded of that dark expression he sometimes got. He was immediately licking over the skin he had bitten, soothing it out with his tongue and you made an embarrassing noise when he was suddenly slipping it into your mouth.
“Calm down.” He was pulling back a few centimeters to whisper to you, his voice breathy and carrying a small chuckle as he teased you for your reaction.
“I can’t.” You responded honestly, shaking your head softly and leaning in again to peck his lips quickly. Kissing him was addicting and you felt like your head was spinning from the way he was gently rubbing up and down your side so slowly.
He was laughing loudly at your response and your heart clenched affectionately at the sound, immediately followed by the reminder he wasn’t supposed to be here. You glanced over at your door nervously and when you looked back at him again he was frowning and following your line of vision, seemingly also snapping back to reality.
“I should probably go.” He was muttering and your stomach dropped painfully although you knew he was right, it wasn’t smart to get in trouble more.
“I won’t be able to come out at night for awhile.” You were telling him and your voice sounded saddened and panicked, bunching up his hoodie in your fist again like you had earlier when your anxiety picked up.
“Doesn’t matter.” He was shaking his head and petting your hair softly, raising his eyebrows to really exaggerate the fact that he meant what he was saying. “Find me at school tomorrow and we can figure something out okay? He can’t stop me from seeing you.”
You watched him in silence for a few seconds before you were leaning in to kiss him harshly again, completely drinking him in and savoring the feeling of him pressed against you in case it was the last time you got to have him like this. His hands were sliding back into your hair, keeping you tight into the kiss and moving against you just as desperately.
You felt overwhelmed at his sincere words, never having somebody so adamant on being around you, being so protective over you that he was willingly to risk his own safety just to have a conversation with you.
“You’re crazy.” You were gasping out when you pulled back for air, laughing at the way he was pressing more swift kisses against your lips as you tried to talk.
“You make me crazy.” He was slightly altering and repeating the phrase you had said to him earlier, a smile coming back onto his face now that you clearly felt better about the situation.
It took you a while to get off of him, even longer for you to actually leave your room considering the way he kept shaking his hands around your waist to pull you back in to kiss again. At one point he had you pressed against your bedroom door and you tried not to think how tensioned it felt to kiss standing up like this, letting him lean you against the old wood and explore your mouth with a heavy sense of longing and desire.
You were eventually take control of the never ending situation and pushing him out of your door with a final kiss, watching him smile at you and walk slowly down your stairs. He had suggested you stay up in your room in case the door closing woke up your father and he came looking for you, better to find you upstairs versus suspiciously in the front hallway.
You followed Heeseung’s frame, craning your neck outside the window to be able to see parts of your front lawn, and watching as he tugged his hoodie back over his head and walked a few houses down to where he had parked his car.
He was looking back at your window before he got in and the two of you watched each other for a few beats before you were raising your hand in a shy wave, smiling at the way he returned it before getting inside his car and pulling off slowly.
——
You were getting stares as you rushed through the school halls, your peers not used to seeing you so alert at all throughout the day but especially so early in the morning. You’d only slept for an hour or two but you felt energized at the idea of seeing Heeseung again as you searched for him.
The search stopped short when you were suddenly smacking into somebody rounding the corner, clearly not expecting to encounter somebody moving at the speed you were.
You both flew back from the impact and you landed on your butt a bit away from the boy, glancing up swiftly to see it was somebody you recognized, a friend from middle school who had slowly stopped talking to you after your mother died.
“Shit, I’m sorry Sunoo.” You were stuttering slightly and you suddenly remembered that conversation didn’t come easily to you, forgetting this fact considering you only ever spoke to Heeseung. “I was just-“
“Looking for Lee Heeseung?” He was cutting you off and you paused in your explanation to stare at him, his tone more judging than you remember ever hearing it. “What are you doing hanging around with him Y/N?”
He was standing back to his full height and offering you a hand but after faltering for a few seconds you paused, scoffing under your breath and standing without taking it. Once you were off the ground you were glaring at him, not liking the heavy glance he was sending your way.
“What does it matter to you?” You normally wouldn’t be so confrontational but it upset you how concerned he seemed to be despite completely ditching you alongside the rest of your friend group while you were grieving.
He had no place to judge you or who you decided to hang out with, although it confused you how worried he seemed to be about Heeseung. You weren’t sure how he even knew about the boy considering you didn’t recall ever seeing him around school or your old friends before your run in at the convenience store.
“He’s dangerous Y/N.” He was spitting the words at you but you could tell you weren’t the reason for his anger, eyebrows furrowing slightly as he looked at you like he was confused if you truly didn’t understand the reason for his worry.
“What are you talking about?” You were looking at him in bewilderment and you felt your heart start to beat slightly at the fact he was clearly implying something had happened with the boy you’d spent so much time with recently. You were suddenly reminded that you didn’t know much about him, never talking about family life or what he did outside of being with you.
“Why don’t you ask him?” Sunoo was sighing and you were confused at his sudden dismissal until you realized his eyes were going past your shoulder now, turning your head and seeing the boy in question standing a few feet away and watching the two of you interact.
Heeseung didn’t look dangerous to you, especially in the way he was clutching the straps of his backpack and carrying a nervous expression. His eyes softened slightly when he saw you but he must’ve registered the worried look on your face because he was suddenly turning in place and going back down the hallway the way he came.
You sighed when he pushed out the side doors, turning back to glare at Sunoo quickly before hurriedly following after the tall boy and rushing back down past the lockers.
“Heeseung.” You were calling his name once you pushed through the double doors, the cold morning air hitting your face swiftly and you winced a bit. “Hee, stop.”
He paused at the sound of your voice and you saw him suck in a reluctant breath before he was turning around to face you. You caught up to him quickly and stopped a few inches in front of him, reaching up to grab his hoodie sleeve and trying not to be offended when he flinched away from your touch.
“What happened?” You were questioning him with slightly widened eyes, looking up at him and trying to read what his face was expressing. “Why are you running away from me?”
“What did he say to you?” His voice was hardened and he was staring daggers down at you, your face crumbling at the harsh expression that you’d never seen directed your way before.
“Nothing, he said nothing.” You were shaking your head quickly and he let out a disbelieving scoff, looking away from you and clenching his jaw in agitation. “Hee, I’m serious. He didn’t say anything, a bunch of none sense I didn’t even understand.”
He was glancing down at you again like he was trying to see if you were telling the truth or not, being met with your big wide eyes and sighing softly in guilt for being so quick to anger. His hand was coming up to touch your face and you leaned into it even though you were still feeling confused over what was happening.
You didn’t say anything when he was reaching down to grab your hand gently, leading you with him out towards the parking lot where you spotted his car parked near the back. You frowned softly behind his back but got into the passenger seat anyways and watched as he started it up but didn’t pull off.
The heat blaring created a small rattling noise and you could hear the song you’d put on before still playing faintly, flushing a bit at the realization he hadn’t changed the CD and was just letting it play on repeat.
“Are you scared of me?” He was suddenly asking and you glanced over at him from the passenger seat, seeing the way he was staring down at his hands as he picked at the skin around his fingers. His legs were spread so his knee was pressing against the middle console and you reached over to place your hand on it gently.
“Of course I’m not.” You were whispering back to him and shifting your body so you could completely face him, your eyes following along his side profile and frowning at how defeated he looked.
“Even if I told you I did something bad?” He was finally glancing at you and you felt sick at how vulnerable his eyes looked, shifting nervously over your face and you hoped your expression didn’t convey how nervous you suddenly felt. “That I hurt somebody really bad?”
You were watching him in silence and it felt like the air from the car got sucked out with his words, hinting towards something darker than you’d expected him to admit. You thought back to the expression he sometimes carried, the way he spoke about your father so casually and the worry on Sunoo’s face. You watched him while thinking of this and you thought about all the other things to.
How he was always so gentle and kind with you, warm and comforting and never doing anything to make you feel worried despite most your time with him being spent alone and late at night. You didn’t know every detail about his life but that didn’t make him seem dangerous to you, he felt familiar and safe and you instinctively squeezed his knee.
“Did they deserve it?” You were finally croaking out, settling on a response that you felt properly conveyed your stance on what he was saying.
You’d thought from the moment you met him that Heeseung was similar to you and you knew the reasons you couldn’t sleep, the demons that kept you up all night restless. You tried to imagine what his looked like and you figured if you were bigger and braver, maybe you’d tried to hurt yours back too.
He wasn’t saying anything for a few seconds, just looking at you like he hadn’t expected that response and you knew immediately it had been the right thing to say. His face was crumbling and he was biting his lip to stop it from trembling, ducking his head forward to nod as an answer to your question.
You were leaning forward over the middle console to pull him in for a hug, not caring about the way the plastic pressed into your stomach uncomfortably or the burn your arms felt from stretching so far to embrace him. He’d help you more than once, brought you back from a dangerous place and a low state of mind and your heart tugged at the sight of him showing that same vulnerability now.
“It’s not your fault.” You were whispering into his hoodie and his arms were snaking around your middle, a small surprised noise slipping from your mouth when he was tugging you over the console and situating you in his lap. He was burying his head deep into your neck and your hand was coming up to rest on the back of his head, his hoodie fabric under your palm.
You didn’t need to hear the full story, you didn’t need for him to painfully recount the details or what had happened for him to do something so drastic and you didn’t need to know who.
Him softly crying into your neck and clutching onto you like a scared child was all you needed to believe him, to understand that whatever rumor or perspective others such as Sunoo had, was wrong.
He was picking his head up to look at you and your heart broke at his red face, tears streaming down his cheeks and a frustration expression coating his features like he was mad at himself for showcasing how upset he was. He was suddenly pressed against you in a kiss and you hesitated for a second in surprise before kissing him back.
You were pushing his hoodie off his head so you could put your hands through his shaggy hair, pulling him tighter against you and feeling the way his wet face was pressing onto yours.
“You can’t leave me.” He was gasping into your mouth and his hands were shakily coming up to cup your face, tilting your head softly and humming into the kiss when you were licking into his mouth and leaning forward so his back was pressed against the car door.
Heeseung was moving a hand down towards your back and you could feel him continuously tugging you forward into him, your hip bone pressing against his stomach as you both found comfort in each others touch. You let him do this for a few seconds longer before you were pulling back a bit to address what he had said.
“I’m not going to leave.” You were gasping as you said it, still trying to catch your breath and he was shaking his head before tugging you forward again, a small noise slipping from your mouth at the feeling of him dragging you up further into his thigh.
“I’m serious.” He was still speaking into your mouth and you pulled back further to look at him, the dark expression back in his eyes now as he watched you. “I’d go crazy if you left.”
It slightly unsettled you how serious he sounded, how he really stressed the words like they were the most important in the world. His hands were still holding onto you tightly like he was terrified you’d slip away if he let up even a little bit and your eyes bounced around his face for a few seconds before you were nodding.
“We can be crazy together.”
“You can’t leave me.” He was gasping into your mouth and his hands were shakily coming up to cup your face, tilting your head softly and humming into the kiss when you were licking into his mouth and leaning forward so his back was pressed against the car door.
Heeseung was moving a hand down towards your back and you could feel him continuously tugging you forward into him, your hip bone pressing against his stomach as you both found comfort in each others touch. You let him do this for a few seconds longer before you were pulling back a bit to address what he had said.
“I’m not going to leave.” You were gasping as you said it, still trying to catch your breath and he was shaking his head before tugging you forward again, a small noise slipping from your mouth at the feeling of him dragging you up further into his thigh.
“I’m serious.” He was still speaking into your mouth and you pulled back further to look at him, the dark expression back in his eyes now as he watched you. “I’d go crazy if you left.”
It slightly unsettled you how serious he sounded, how he really stressed the words like they were the most important in the world. His hands were still holding onto you tightly like he was terrified you’d slip away if he let up even a little bit and your eyes bounced around his face for a few seconds before you were nodding.
“We can be crazy together.”
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angelsheartts · 2 months
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Hi!! I was wondering if I could request the “hope nobody will catch us!” prompt for Angel dust x gn! reader too? Thank you love!!❤️❤️
✩‧₊˚ I HOPE NOBODY CATCH US !! .
(but i kinda hope they catch us, anyways)
#pairing: angel dust, husk, velvette, lute x gn reader
#cw: suggestive content, +18 mdni, cuss words Imao, getting caught in suggestive situations ig?? adam being adam on lutes part, drunk sex?, kind of only fans on velvettes part ngl.
#notes: just got back from vacation, and i do feel kind of inspirational to write on my blog lmao, so here it is! second part of "i hope nobody catch us". did anyone noticed it’s the lyrics from les - childish gambino?
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PART l
˖ ˚ ༘✶ ANGEL DUST .
well, it’s kind of ironic how angel dust would actually care if someone would see you both fucking, but it’s just because he actually wants to have something intimate with you, not just some porn video where you both need to act.
today, valentino had given your partner finally a day off, so you both decided it would be the best to spend it together.
as you both were cuddling in his bed, you somehow started teasing him by confessing how you watched one of his adult videos, and how much it had turned you, so it wasn’t a big surprise how you ended having him on top of you.
"that’s kinky for you to say, but keep going" angel dust said, smirking at you while already having your underwear aside "well, at first i saw how you went down on them, and-" suddenly fat nuggets was on the bed looking at you both.
yeah, so after seeing your kid staring at you both, it really made the atmosphere so not hot.
˖ ˚ ༘✶ HUSK .
i mean, husk, and you do have a pretty regular intimate life cause this man is sooo touch starved, but there’s something different about being drunk and intimate to him.
you knew you both had maybe a few more drinks than usually, but that wouldn’t hurt anyone, right?
wrong, as soon as you started to feel the alcohol doing its thing, you soon started to feel horny too.
but, who could judge you? seeing your bartender boyfriend also with the same flushed face as you was so hot, you somehow ended on top of the counter, while having your boyfriend kiss your neck.
"Oh, for fucks sake, and everyone says im the perverted one?"
yeah, hearing angel dust words made you both stop, but it didn’t make you stopped once you reached your bedroom.
˖ ˚ ༘✶ VELVETTE .
your girlfriend being a famous influencer in hell wasn’t something new to you, but as soon as you both started dating, you didn’t expect her to literally get sent sex toys for you both to try out and recommend or give your review about it.
your girlfriend was doing a live on her sinstagram, when you unexpectedly entered the room in the lingerie she just bought you just a few days ago.
of course, she had to end her livestream by saying a lame excuse to pamper your needs, and what the best way to do that with testing the vibrator who got sent to her for a review.
"velvette, ah- it‘s too much, i‘m going to cum" while sitting on her lap and putting your arms around her neck, you both suddenly heard velvettes phone vibrating like crazy, turns out she never ended her livestream and all hell just saw how needy you were for her.
after really ending the live, let’s just say that the vibrator you used got most-sold-sex-toy of the month.
˖ ˚ ༘✶ LUTE .
your girlfriend is somehow always occupied with something that isn’t you, so you might of have your ways to have her attention.
even though your girlfriend is an exterminator, you both sometimes ended up working together.
so, if dragging her near a closet to have her all for yourself was bad, then what you wanted to do in there with her would be worse.
"(name), it’s not appropriate, and adam is gonna be here anytime soon" lute said, staring at your face with her mask "yeah, yeah you say that every time, but you know how it always ends"
and yes, it was true, your girlfriend knew your true intentions when you dragged her into the closet, but still, she had a kinky side where she liked doing things you weren’t supposed to.
not to mention how hot you looked when you tried to be the dominant one.
"fuck, you're already so wet, huh? is it because you like getting me in trouble or because you want me to punish you?" she said, rubbing her fingers near your clit faster each time, "ah, lute-! keep going" "you’re a fucking mess, answer my questi-"
"DANGERTITS? bullshit, why the fuck didn’t i come sooner? legit thought you didn’t have sex, but you know what? this can get pretty awesome if i joi-“
adam did in fact not join you both, but he did make lute clear that "you both needed the original dick to even come" - adams words.
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ilovehimyourhonour · 1 year
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wouldn’t dream of it
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📂 bf! jung wooyoung x reader . you weren’t clear and wooyoung thought you were breaking up with him . slight angst , a bit of fluff , comfort .
a/n writing random pieces as my inbox/drafts sits with request . (edit — can’t believe this got as much love as it did lol) .
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Vision turning hazy, Wooyoung falters in his steps—his eyes prick with tears as he watches you turn away from him, something you’ve never done. But has there ever been an argument this severe? Have the two of you ever yelled at each other with this much anger and heat? The rare times you did argue the atmosphere was still comforting, the two of you would sit down and talk things over. Wooyoung would hesitantly reach for your hands, you would smile softly and intertwine your fingers with his—he’d then lean forward, his lips brushing your forehead as he mumbles a “Im sorry.” Everything from there would work itself out, but as Wooyoung swayed where he stood, the orange lantern hanging above his head casting a dim light over him and the surrounding area, he knew the two of you weren’t going to solve this in a matter of minutes.
“Are you even listening to me?” He blinks back another rush of tears, they build within his throat. “Of course you’re not,” you chuckle. “Stupid of me to assume you would be.”
Your eyes are red, your cheeks are stained with the tears that had managed to escape—the collar of Wooyoung’s your shirt sports a few patches where your tears had fallen and seeped into the material. Wooyoung watches your hands shake as you reach up to brush the wetness from your cheeks.
“Can you say something, Wooyoung?” You’re annoyed. He parts his lips, only a strangled grunt leaves his mouth, the tangled tears, worry, and heartbreak resting in his throat blocks the words he wishes he could say. You hum softly, turning away from him—nearing the front door of your apartment. “I think we need a break, Woo.”
Panic surges through Wooyoung, bringing each aspect of himself to a crumbling point. Never has he ever had the desire to hear those words leave your mouth, never once had he ever desired to say them himself—no matter the circumstance he always wanted to get through it with you. He stumbles forward, leaving the kitchen and its orange glow behind as he pushes himself to the entrance—desperate to catch you before you left him.
Your backs facing him as he reaches you, you’re mid swinging your jacket over your shoulder when his two arms wrap around your knees—leaving you to frown and crane your neck. Your boyfriend has his face pressed into the back of your thighs, muffled sobs soaking into the materiel of your sweatpants, his shoulders violently shake with his cry. “I. Love. You,” his words are broken between hiccups.
“I love you, Wooyoung.” Your still facing the door, his tight grip on your legs preventing you from turning to face his kneeling figure. “Let me go,” you softly mutter as you blindly reach behind you—fingers brushing through his hair gently. His arms circle your legs tighter, his head shaking as he lets a few more hiccups shake his figure. You sigh and reach for his arms, pulling yourself from his hold—his heart splits in half and another surge of tears trail down his cheeks, dripping from his jaw and chin.
“No,” he chokes out. “Please don’t leave me,” his voice is hoarse and shaky. “One more chance, one more chance. Please.”
You’re now facing him, frowning as you drop to your knees—mirroring his position. “I just need one more chance,” his words are now barely above a whisper. You practically coo at his sad and desperate expression, your bottom lip can’t help but quiver as you reach out and brush the bangs from his eyes.
“I will never leave you, Wooyoung.”
“You said we needed a break.”
You sigh, squeezing your eyes shut. “I didn’t mean we should break up, darling. I meant we need a break from this,” he shifts so he sits crossed legged on the floor, you follow immediately. You watch his fingers twitch in his lap, as they always did—so you reach forward, taking his hand in yours. “We need time to calm down and then talk things over.”
“I am calm,” you chuckle softly—Wooyoung’s fingers tighten around yours at the familiar sound. “I don’t want to be alone.”
The heartbroken look in his eyes keeps you at his side, the two of you sitting in the entrance for hours. Nothing but soft touches, gentle kisses, and I love you’s being exchanged between the two of you. But somewhere between confessing your love for each other and brushing the hairs from one another’s faces, apologizes are exchanged. Woo promises he’ll be a better boyfriend, to which you expressed how you already believed him to be the best boyfriend you could ever ask for.
“Don’t ever break up with me,” Wooyoung mumbles into your shoulder as he holds you in his lap.
You chuckle softly as you bring your arms around his neck. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”
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© ilovehimyourhonour
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sserajeans · 7 months
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bff premium?
kang haerin x fem! reader
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synopsis: after distancing yourself from a friend you've unfortunately fallen for, the rest of the group catches onto her sour mood, and all fingers point to you
genre + others: fluff, mutual pining, friends to lovers, non-idol au, high school setting, friend group is rly just nwjns + yn
notes: i swear yail update will come i just had this in my drafts and felt bad for not posting for a while!!, requested, IM SO SORRY IT TOOK THIS LONG I REALLY WANTED TO BE IN TBE MOOD WHEN I WROTE THIS 😭😭😭😭 luckily haerin posted some pics that ive gotten completely insane over.. so!
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you and haerin always had something special between the both of you.
you two met in middle school, when your homeroom teacher was assigning seats. she was a quiet kid, and so were you, but one of you had to get over it. so when the class was given a paired activity to "get-to-know each other", you were forced to come out of your shell, and haerin welcomed you (surprisingly) warmly.
it started off as a strictly-seatmate type of friendship, where you two would only interact whenever it was needed. but as you spent more and more time working on assigned activities together, you were beginning to realize that maybe you enjoyed her company more than you thought, and so did she.
eventually, you two began spending time together outside of class; during recess, lunchtime, sometimes after class in the library. it didn't take long until the both of you became really close, a known tandem. you were her closest friend, she was yours, and everyone knew that.
over time, your friends became hers as well, and so whenever everyone was free, your little friend group composed of minji, hanni, danielle, haerin, hyein, and you, would hang out together. at a clubroom, the courtyard, the gymnasium, a cafe, the cafeteria, anywhere.
but no matter how many close friends surrounded you two, it seemed clear to anyone that you were closer to each other than anyone else. the same way hanni was to hyein, and minji was to danielle.
now your feelings for haerin grew a couple years later, and you only admitted them to yourself in your sophomore year of high school. that's about four years or so since you two met, and about a year ago from today.
from the beginning, you had always found haerin pretty. it wasn't hard to admit. she was nice to look at, and the way her cat-like eyes turned into crescent moons whenever she smiled ear to ear... yeah, you knew you were enjoying it a little too much.
and it only worsened the more you got to know each other, because you found out there were so many things to adore.
the way she wouldn't stop talking about frogs, her love for tomatoes, her eyes and the way she blinks slowly when she looks at something she loves (a cat-like habit you picked up when she was watching a recipe video for an avocado dish).
the list could go on and on if no one stopped you, and after talking about it to your mom (who was very supportive of everything, by the way), you came to the conclusion that you liked haerin, in a "more-than-a-friend way".
but you had no idea, not a single clue, on what to do with that realization. what would happen if you told her? if you didn't? would she feel the same? would she be disgusted if she didn't?
crushes and romance was one of the most untouched conversation topics between the two of you, so you had no idea if she was even open to such ideas.
but the one thing you knew for sure, was that she was your best friend, and you were hers. you loved your best friend, and so did she. in a different way, or not, you felt like she still deserved to know. you hated hiding things from her, and history proves it only made things worse whenever you did.
so you decided to confess. great!
and suddenly you see her acting all lovey dovey with danielle.
well, in retrospect, they weren’t exactly being lovey dovey, and you kind of knew that.
danielle was just big on affection, as she was to everyone, and is one of the few people whose pda was complied with (or tolerated) by haerin.
and despite not being much of a pda fan, in that moment, you badly wanted to be in danielle’s place, comfortably smothering your best friend with all the love in the world.
oh, and it didn’t help that people started a couple rumors about them being a couple.
sure, everyone knew you were each other’s number one, each other’s best of best friend, but the way you two showed affection with each other was very different from the way danielle does, to again, everyone, but you didn’t care about that.
the bitter sting in your stomach seeing the two of them made you realize that it was probably a much better idea to just get rid of your feelings (you’re an idiot, you’ve had them for years. they won’t just go away). after all you didn’t want to ruin what you had with two of your closest friends.
and with that goal in mind, so began your plan to avoid kang haerin at all costs!
you’re really stupid.
in the process of avoiding haerin, you indirectly were avoiding the rest of the girls too. you mostly hung out with your other classmates from different subjects like woonhak and eunchae. and whenever you were asked about it by hanni (mostly), you shrugged it off and said it was just “school things you needed help with”.
it was a dumb excuse. everyone knew you were at least top 5 of the class. and what kind of help were you getting if you were going out to places like arcades and karaoke spots anyways?
the girls were bothered, but not as much as haerin was. she was often visibly in a sour mood, ate half of her usual cafeteria servings, and would talk a lot less than she already did.
they were worried for the both of you simultaneously, but hyein and minji put two and two together, which only doubled their worry.
initially, it was just you and haerin's separate well-being they were concerned about, but now that they realized the time frame in which you began distancing yourself matched up with when haerin's mood went down, they were now also worried about what could've happened between you two.
so they took it amongst themselves to at least know what was going on.
"haerin-ah."
"haerin."
"kang."
"kang haerin!"
haerin looked up from her untouched tray of food, her chopsticks poking around slices of beef in sauce.
"hm?"
minji sat across her as the first two to arrive in their usual lunch table.
"i was asking if anything happened between you and y/n or something..."
"oh..."
haerin looked back down and continued playing around with her food before sighing and looking back up, muttering a couple words.
"wish i knew."
"y/n-unnie! is something up between you and haerin-unnie?"
"huh? what?" you were sat in the sound proofed booth of the music room, guitar plugged in an amplifier. you squinted at hyein's figure from outside the room, putting your guitar on its stand and motioning her to come inside.
"can you repeat that? i can't really hear anything from in there..." scratching the back of your neck, you gave hyein a seat from behind the booth's drum sets.
"i was asking!" hyein took a deep breath, you raised your eyebrows signaling her to continue. "if you and haerin-unnie have something going on."
"h-huh? what? what something?"
"no not like that! i meant you know, did you fight or... 'cause she's been so sour lately! she wouldn't even give me her leftover tomatoes... she wasn't even gonna eat them! like at all!"
the expression on your face shifted to what most would identify as worry and concern.
"...she hasn't been eating the tomatoes? she loves those..."
"yeah! and so much more! anyways, minji-unnie and i deduced it was about you, so here i am." hyein gleamed with pride while you chuckled in amusement.
you leaned over to mess with the top of her head and sighed, "i'll talk to her. you don't worry about a thing, okay?"
and you kept your word to the younger girl. how could you not?
you spotted haerin alone in one of the clubrooms, cleaning up some of the materials they used for the day. knocking on the room's door startled her a bit, given by the minor flinch, but she relaxed seeing it was you.
still, you could tell her facial expression was slightly guarded, and it hurt you, but you definitely deserved it.
she turned back around to continue organizing the materials into three separate boxes, not saying a word.
"hyein said you haven't been eating the tomatoes in your lunch." you slowly took your steps towards her and stopped when you were a couole steps away on the other side of the desk she used to arrange the items. "or your lunch at all..."
she paused to look up at you and give you a short glare, before walking to move a box to the teacher's desk in the room. you followed a few steps behind her, arms behind your back as your fingers fiddled with each other.
"you shouldn't... skip your meals, you know..." you muttered, clearly intimidated by haerin’s cold facade. "health... you need to eat..."
seeing as how you still had no reply, you decided it was probably best to just go straight to the point.
"hey... i'm sorry..."
you were used to haerin not saying that much, especially when you got to know her more and she explained that it was simply just too tiring. but you were also always the exception to that.
whenever it was just the two of you, one would be surprised to see haerin as the louder one. talkative, always rambling about something, while you smiled, nodded, and gave comments whenever necessary.
"yangi, please say something"
haerin loved that nickname more than anything. it was pretty foul to pull that card, actually. you came up with it when you two were having a friendly debate over what animal she resembled.
"i don't know where you're getting cat, y/n."
"are you crazy? how are you getting frog!"
"literally everything!"
"no. you're simply incorrect. you're literally a cat in human form!"
"absolutely not!"
"whatever you say, goyangi."
"what did you just call me?"
"go-yang-i. goyangi. go. yangi."
"you're so... annoying."
"okay, yangi."
she let out a frustrated sigh, looking up at you with what felt like her eyes piercing through your soul.
"so you get to disappear on me without a word, but i have to reply when you speak to me for the first time in 8 days?"
yes, she's been counting the days.
but wouldn't you be too if she did the same?
well, you probably would've confronted her a little sooner. but it's not that haerin didn't care enough to do something about it, she just genuinely didn't want to overstep space you might've been needing.
"thats what i thought." she let go of the box, turned her back, and walked back to the desks to grab the 2nd box.
"look... i'm sorry, i really am." you immediately caught up to her with a few steps, eyes pleading with nothing but guilt.
"if you are then can you at least tell me why you were avoiding me?"
she stared at you, observing how your thumbs rubbed over your fingers, or how your breathing got a little heavy, both nervous habits she picked up.
noting how you probably weren't going to say much anytime soon, she let go of the 2nd box to face you.
"you're my best friend, y/n"
that hurt didn't it?
a reminder that that was probably all you were going to be to her.
"do you know how..." haerin took a deep inhale, it was beginning to get shaky. her mind was a mess, thinking of the best words to express the hurt you made her feel over the past few days. but she couldn't.
"nevermind."
knowing the way haerin acted added on to your internal conflict. haerin usually wasn't afraid to speak her mind when it was just the two of you, but now she is. she couldn't. and you knew it was your fault.
but were you really ready to tell her you liked her? now? you wanted to show her you were sorry, but it really wasn't that easy.
if things go wrong, she could continue the game and avoid you forever. and just like that you'd lose your best friend, ruining the group's dynamics as well.
but you figured your brain was just making up excuses for you to not tell her out of fear. what mattered the most now was letting her know you were sorry, and that hurting her was never part of the plan.
"look, i'll tell you, because i really truly am sorry for hurting you," you start off, hands in the air motioning whatever. "but i-... i need you to promise me..."
"what?" her voice was much softer now. still cold, but not sharp enough to make it feel like you were stabbed every time she spoke.
"that you won't be... weirded out, or disgusted, or leave the room. you'll talk about it with me."
"you're the one whos been avoiding the talking y/n, i hope you know that."
you often forget how quick she was with her words. it was like a whip. painful, fast, happens before you even noticed it did. you were just so used to her nicer side. she's never been frustrated with you.
"right..."
you took a deep breath, mentally composing a script of how you felt and how you were going to say it. just like the million times you've practiced to the mirror at home.
"i've been avoiding you 'cause i think i like you. or, well, i know i like you. in a more than a friend way. and i have been for a while, and i was going to tell you because i didn't like hiding things from you, but i saw you with dani one day and i just- i don't know. okay? it's stupid. i know she's like that with everyone, but i didn't like it when she was with you, so i decided that i'd rather just get rid of how i felt to make it easier and to not ruin any of our friendships. so i figured the only way to do that was if i didn't talk to you. clearly that affected us both in a way i didn't want or intend. i'm sorry i ignored you. it was selfish of me to not think about how you could've felt throughout everything."
haerin took a minute just standing there, trying to process the hell of a bomb of information you just dropped on her. her cheeks were gradually growing red the more she realized what you were trying to tell her.
"hey... hello... did you hear what i was saying... or do i have to repeat it... because i'd really rather not..." you waved your palm in front of the girl who seemed to be frozen in place. "but if that's what it takes then i guess tha—"
you stopped talking as haerin slowly approached you, wrapping her arms around your waist and burying her face on your shoulder. she was careful to do so slowly, giving you a chance to move away if you needed to. she knows you're not into physical touch, and it just wasn't exactly the norm for the two of you.
"i was worried."
"hey, i've been eating fine. it's you tha-"
"no, not that. i was worried you might've overheard dani and i talk about you when i told her i like you, and that you were disgusted by it and didn't want to be... associated with me because of it. and maybe you just didn't know how to tell me so you went with the silent treatment.... i was going nuts, y/n. that's why hyein was talking about skipping lunch and whatever. all i could think about was why."
you could feel the guilt eating you up bit by bit on the inside. it quite literally broke your heart to hear haerin, the girl with not a lot of words, express the effect of what you did. it was like acid, burning up your stomach, your chest, your head. except that acid was guilt.
"oh god... i'm so sorry, yangi... the whole thing was a really selfish move and— and i should've thought about you first. i really am so so sorry..."
you held her closer and softly shifted your body weight from one foot to the other, swaying the two of you softly, somewhat like a cradle calming a baby down to sleep.
"hey... it's okay... i know you didn't mean it. i'm just glad we're fine now."
you two stay in that position for a couple of minutes, feeling each other relax over time as a result of finally resolving the conflict you had caused.
that was until haerin broke the silence.
"so... hate to be the person to ask but..."
"what are we?"
the two of you laughed for a while at how the question was so cliche and cringe yet necessary.
"yes."
"bff premium?"
"y/n!"
"i'm kidding! i'm kidding! but... i say we take things slow? get a little used to this, whatever it is, whatever it could be?"
"yeah, i like that."
the two of you smiled at each other with nothing but warmth and care, before ultimately pulling in for another hug.
"minji-unnie you owe me 2,000 won."
"hyein you're being too loud."
"huh do you hea-?..." haerin pulled away with a surprised face, interrupted by y/n quickly stomping towards the door, slamming it open to reveal minji and hyein falling forward to the floor. a result of relying on the door for support.
"seriously? i expected hyein, but minji-unnie?" you sighed in disappointment, haerin walking over to see what the fuss was all about.
"listen, it's for hanni she placed bets too."
"...lame excuse."
"KANG HAERIN!"
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jasmines-library · 6 months
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Hello sugar <3! (im very sorry if theres any spelling errors, english isnt my first language <3)
I would love to request some angst/comfort with the batfam? Maybe with the reader (tw: sa, rape) struggling with some sexual assault/rape issues, something they haven't told the family yet? The reader acting different for weeks, months even, and the whole family being suspicious and noticing their sudden fear of being cornered, touches and certain smells maybe?
its totally fair if you don't feel like it, I just really really love your way of writing the characters, and your writing over all. I swear, i swallowed your whole page in the matter of a few hours, I loved every second!
Kristy, Are You Doing Okay?
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Note: My gosh im so sorry this literally took me over a month to get to, but it's here. I'm so glad you like my page and thank you for requesting! (Title name from song)
Warnings: SA, r*pe (non explicit but this fic deals with the aftermath. Please read with caution.), Panic attack of sorts.
Word count: 2.1K
⛤ BATFAM MASTERLIST ⛤
Please remember, if you are ever struggling you are not alone. It may be difficult at first but there are many places for you to reach out to, many of which are anonymous and do not need the involement of of name, if you are just needing for someone to talk to. There will always be someone out there to help you. As an alternative, my DM’s are always open for a chat! Remember: You are loved and you are so much stronger than you realise.
You hadn’t meant to drift away. It sort of just…happened. And it wasn’t even something you were conscious of really. The thoughts were just constantly there and you couldn’t shake the feeling of his hands roaming all over his body; the ghostly touch of his fingers lingering flush against your skin, burning an invisible bruise into your flesh. You tried to shy away from it but it was always there, buried into the front of your mind festering away like an old, unforgotten wound oozing with pus and blood that would only create more problems the longer it was left. 
The night it happened was cold and bitter. A shallow fog had cast itself over the city as you staggered back to the manor with makeup running carelessly down your face. You shut yourself away, turning the lock on your door and burying yourself under the covers to try and  shy away from the situation. But it never left. It just kept growing, weeding its way back through the open cracks like a stubborn plant that refused to leave no matter how many times you doused it with poison. You didn’t sleep that night. And you didn’t leave your room the day after. In fact the only time anyone saw you that day was when you slunk downstairs in the middle of the night to try and revive the growling of your stomach without having to see anyone when you bumped into Tim who was finally dragging himself up to bed. The interaction was odd. At first he thought that you had just been busy all day and that was why no one had seen you: It wasn't uncommon for one of you to disappear into your room for a few days to catch up on school work or to finally get more than 4 hours of sleep. But something about you was off. You were quiet and lacking that charisma that usually shone from you. You were jumpy too, recoiling as soon as Tim rounded the corner unexpectedly. 
When you finally managed to bring yourself out of your room, you were still withdrawn. Instead of donning your normal seat next to Jason at the table, you sat at the end alone pushing your food aimlessly around the plate until someone had finished eating and you took that as a cue to leave. You didn’t mean to leave them in the dark. Really, you didn’t but the thoughts crept into your mind every time they got near. Every hand outstretched sent a shiver crawling down the nape of your neck as if someone was running an ice cold digit along your spine. The thoughts were worse. Intruding. Obnoxious. You felt so…dirty. And your mind seemed to like to make sure you remembered that. You couldn’t help but feel like somehow the whole situation was your fault, which of course it wasn’t, but you were stuck with being guilt ridden; trapped within your walls. 
Your skittishness didn’t go unnoticed. The boys tried many times to talk to you or to get you alone, but each time one of them hastily trailed after you as you slunk out of a room you would pick up your pace until they got the hint and stopped dejectedly in the halls. You had just skittered off into another part of the manor when Damian decided he had finally had enough. 
He pushed his way back into the library rather frustratedly, stomping his feet so hard against the floor that they continued to pound through the room even as he moved from the polished wood to the carpet amongst the centre of the room. His brothers were still lounging around the room, their legs slung carelessly over the arms of the chairs or folded beneath them as they engrossed themselves in their phones or an ever growing pile of books. They barely even acknowledged that Damian had even returned from his pursuit of use, besides lifting their gaze as he huffed his way back into the room. 
“Something is wrong with Y/N.” Damian declared, planting his feet into the carpet in the centre of the room and placing his hands on his hips. 
Dick felt as though he could laugh. Damian’s statement was so obvious that you may as well have had a huge, yellow sign above your head that screamed ‘i’m not okay.’ It didn't matter how much effort you put into trying to hide the bags that dropped across your skin, or the way that you couldn’t stand to be in the same room with any of them for too long without your skin crawling, they were prominent amongst your saddened features. “Yeah, No shit.”he said, looking up from his phone that he had been mindlessly scrolling on to distract himself from the feeling that gnawed at his gut.
The room fell into a pregnant silence before Damians angry scoff broke the silence. 
“That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say?” He spat. “You’re not worried?”
Jason pushed himself up onto his forearms and spoke out defensively. “Of course we’re worried… It’s just…”
“What?”
“She won’t let us help her, Dami.” Tim said. “We’ve tried, but each time she’s run.”
“Well then try harder!” He said. It was unusual for the youngest Wayne to react this way when it came to his siblings. But, then again it was unusual for you to shy away like this and although Damian would never admit it, he had a soft spot for you and seeing you hurting like this killed him a little inside. 
“Damian.” Dick reprimanded sternly. 
He sighed and swallowed thickly. “I’m sorry. I just can’t see them suffering like this anymore.”
There was a general agreement between the four of them. Tim chewed away at his bottom lip as he thought for a moment. “What do you propose we do?”
The whole room seemed to think together as one for a moment. 
“We corner them.” Damian said. It might have seemed cruel, but it was the only thing he could think of that would stop you from slipping away again. “If they keep running there’s no way we’re going to be able to help, so we just have to compromise.”
~
You knew that Jason was behind you. You could hear his careful footsteps, evenly spaced by his long strides as he tried to catch your attention. He was loitering outside of your room, trying to catch you as you left. It surprised you to see him as you peeled open the door. You had flashed him as much of a grin as you could muster up as he greeted you, trying to draw you into a one sided conversation that you were itching to get away from the moment it started. You tried to remind yourself that it was just Jason. That he wasn’t going to hurt you. But your mind still thought it was funny to play cruel tricks on you and soon you were making up a poor excuse and fleeing down the halls. 
You didn’t make it far though before you collided with a tall figure marching down the other end of the corridor, who braced his hands on your shoulders. Yelping at the unexpected contact you spun on your heel to turn back the way you came only for your breath to get stuck in your throat when you were met with the red of Jason’s shirt. When you backed up, you collided with the eldest vigilante again. Spinning around frantically, you searched for a way out. There was none. 
You were trapped. 
The thought consumed you quickly, dragging you down like a ton of bricks tied to your ankles until you were drowning in the thought of being imprisoned again. It was all you could think of. It screamed throughout your mind, pumped in your blood. It was nauseating. You could see the other two approaching and panic set into your already scrambled mind. You weaved, trying desperately to spot an exit but the two vigilantes were much bigger than you and their hefty frames took up most of the corridor. 
“No. No no no.” You rambled as your heart rate skyrocketed and your breathing came in sporadic, panicked gasps. 
Tim furrowed his brow. He didn’t think you would react like this. He reached out to grasp your forearms to ease your shaking body, but you nearly screamed, yanking your arms away from him and backing up against the wall. 
“Don’t touch me!” You stuttered, barely audible between your spiralling state. Fat, hot tears tracked along your face as you sunk to the ground to bury your face within your knees which you clutched to your chest. 
The four boys exchanged an anxious glance. 
“Y/N…”
“Please…” You gasped. “Stay away from me. I-I can’t anymore… no more. Please.”
“Y/N? What's wrong?” Dick queried. “Talk to us, please. We want to help.”
“No…” You whimpered. 
Damian squatted down beside you resting on the balls of his feet before reaching out slowly towards you, ignoring the warning glance that Jason sent his way, and placing it gently on your shoulder. 
Flinching, you squeezed your eyes shut. He could feel the way you trembled like a leaf under his touch but he didn’t let go.
“It’s just me Y/N. It’s Dami.”
You registered his words, but you still felt like you were back in that room. You allowed your body to relax just the smallest amount.
“It’s just us, kid. You’re okay.” Dick cooed. 
You sniffled. The four of them were crouched around you now.
“You can trust us.”
Your body tensed as you were hit with reminders of that night. The way he had led you away to commit his act of betrayal that would cut deeper than a thousand knives. 
“That’s what he said.” You hiccuped. 
“Who?” Tim asked tenderly. “Talk to us Y/N.”
You shook your head, biting down on your lip. You didn’t want to bring up the memory stuck in your mind. 
“Kid… we can’t help you if we don’t know what’s happening.”
“He- he… took me away from the crowds… He said to trust him- and I thought I could. B-but then he-” Your voice split into an unholy sob. 
“Oh..Y/N/N…” Dick said, suddenly understanding. 
“I can’t stop thinking about it. I can still feel him. Hear him. Just make it stop please!.” You begged, sobbing into your hands.”
“It’s okay. You’re safe.” He told you, reaching out gently to place a hand on your forearm, you tensed slightly but didn’t pull away. “We’re not going to let anyone hurt you. Ever.”
“We promise.”
You peeled your head away from your arms to reveal your bloodshot, teary eyes. From close up they could see how clearly the ordeal had taken a toll on you. Not just on your body but your mind too.
It took some convincing and a lot of gentle touches of reassurance to get you off of the floor, but the four of them managed to ease you back into your room. They refused to leave you alone after that. Insisting that at least one of them stay by your side at all times until you decided on your own terms that you were ready to take the next step in your recovery and stay the night alone. It was a slow process, but each small milestone made them extremely proud of you. They were there when you awoke suddenly in the middle of the night, crying and shaking, and they were there when you managed to move forwards too.  They were there to remind you that recovery isn’t linear, and that it was okay to move backwards. It’s all part of the process. The four of them showed you a different kind of gentleness that you had never seen before, and they tried their hardest to bring a smile to your face everyday. And it was their kindness that began to wash away those feelings. It was them who made you realise that you were loved, strong and would find your way back from the darkness and into the light.
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bedoballoons · 8 months
Note
I HAD THIS IDEA WHILE LISTENING TO "SAVAGE" im going back to my gacha phase
there's this one lyric
"Give me a reason to stay"
So sumeru boys getting into a fight w their s/o and they don't give her a chance to intervene and inform them that she had to move away from sumeru (for work or anything)
İ need angst
After that they don't talk for a few days and boom
They feel bad and decide's apologize their s/o only to find her home empty and catch her getting ready to leave sumeru that day! Wowie
Also grim reaper xiao is lookin fine 🤭
-💤
AHH that's so sad!! I love it!! Apologies for not answering sooner!! Thank you for your request and I hope you enjoy! <3
Why thankyou~
─⊰⁠⊹ฺ🎃𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤⊰⁠⊹ฺ🎃
{༻~Give me a reason to stay~༺}
CW: Angsty! Mentions of a past fight, characters beg you to stay, reader leaves anyway!
(Includes: Tighnari, Alhaitham, Kaveh, Wanderer, and Cyno!)
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
𑁍༄Tighnari:
"I don't want to yell anymore!"
Tighnari covered his ears, his voice like a earthquake in his own head...and that look on your face, a horrid memory of the fight you had, he still didn't know what you were trying to tell him and now it has been days since you'd even said a word to him. If he had just listened...if the two of you had just talked...
"Stop..you're only beating yourself up, just go talk to them...apologize." He muttered to himself quietly, trying to find the courage to actually knock on your door after standing there for at least ten minutes...it was starting to seem like a lost cause. "Just knock...how will you ever make up other wise just kn-"
He got cut off mid sentence when the door suddenly swung open, revealing you with suitcases in your hands and your normal living room completely barren.."Tighnari? What...what are you doing here?" You looked away, unable to meet his eyes...you felt guilty for not telling him you were leaving, but he never gave you the chance..
"I-i wanted to apologize, I feel terrible about what happened...are...are you leaving? Where are you going?"
"Tighnari...I'm moving, out of Sumeru..."
"No...no wait don't move, I can apologize more, we can talk about this..."
"I..." You wanted to say something else, but your friend started calling out to you, warning you that if you didn't leave now you'd be late, "Thank you for apologizing Tighnari...I...I gotta go." He watched you hurry away and he just stood there, dumbfounded, like he'd just seen a ghost..a ghost of the relationship he held so dear to his heart...
𑁍༄Alhaitham:
Alhaitham sighed, standing in your yard with a perplexed expression...how had Kaveh actually talked him into this? He himself had no idea how to apologize...what to say to make up for the way he acted, the screaming and hurtful words...the tears that rolled down your cheeks when you stomped off...how did you fix something so emotional and serious?
He waited there for a couple more minutes, hoping to catch you walking out or getting home, but when that didn't work...he resorted to knocking. "Hello? Are...you in there? I...want to talk." He listened to your footsteps growing closer, remembering when you'd try to sneak up on him while he was reading and he'd always hear you...he just wanted things to go back the way they were..
The second you opened the door he knew the situation was far more serious than he had imagined, your things stored away in boxes...your suitcases packed, this wasn't some trip...you were leaving. "...You're moving?"
"I wanted to tell you..but we were fighting you didn't give me the chance."
"I don't want you to leave."
"It's to late Alhaitham..."
"Wait..." He tried to grab your hand...but the door closed in his face, with you on the other end trying to calm yourself...
𑁍༄Kaveh:
Kaveh held the flowers closer to his chest, knocking over and over on your door, praying that you'd open it...that you'd forgive him. He felt terrible, he couldn't eat or sleep, the only thing he could think about was your eyes..the tears that welled in them when he had raised his voice. Even flowers wouldn't be enough to fully forgive him and he knew that, but just...hearing your voice, seeing you...talking would help.
"Helloooo?" He leaned over, peeking into your window...his face going pale, all of your things... were gone? No that couldn't be right, had he gone to the wrong house somehow? He started to panick, peeking through other windows of previous residence....freaking out the neighbors, but mostly, finding that every room was the same. Any trace of you had vanished.
"Kaveh? What are you doing?"
His head snapped in your direction, his eyes lighting up at the sight of you, "You're not gone, thank gosh. I thought maybe you had moved away and I'd never see you again..."
"... Kaveh I am moving away."
"What...but why..."
"I have a business offer, to good to pass up...I was going to tell you, but everything happened and we were yelling...so I took it. I came back here to return the keys and saw everyone looking over here."
"...oh. Is there anyway I can..convince you to-"
"No Kaveh...I think...we need the time apart."
He took a step back, racking his brain for something to say...even as you walked away from him and it started to rain...he just...wanted a way to make you stay. Just a chance.
𑁍༄Wanderer:
Wanderer stood at your door, looking at it like it could jump at him any moment, he wanted to apologize, for the argument for everything but it was all just...so hard!, "Ughh! Why did I have to get into a stupid relationship, why did I have to like them...why...ugh...why do I have to love them....so much." He punched the wall, biting his lip as he knocked on your door, only for it to slowly creak open.
"Hey..I know you're probably still upset with me and I...deserve it, but I'm going to be pathetic and apologize, because...I don't want to loose...you?" He started speaking to you even though you were already gone, shocked to see the sight of your empty house. Realization hit him like a ton of bricks, "Shit."
He ran, flying over everything and anything that got in his way, he'd stop you. He would let you leave. No, he needed to apologize, to make you stay. "Wait! No wait!!" He called out to you, your eyes locking with his for just a moment...just a moment and then you got into the boat, while he stood there...
If he had a heart...it would have been broken...
𑁍༄Cyno:
For once, Cyno didn't feel like telling a joke... playing tcg, right now he just wanted to apologize, give justice where it was due. He wanted to explain his actions, he wanted you back...he wanted to be together again and stop the silence. He didn't even know how to start solving the argument, but he figured talking...would probably help, so thats how he had ended up on your doorstep, waiting patiently for you to open the door..
He knocked again...and again, but nothing. He was just about to turn around, convinced it was a lost cause, when suddenly a paper landed at his feet, his heart racing with excitement...this could be his chance to talk to you, although he want sure why you didn't just open the door instead...
He opened the letter despite that and as he read it...his heart sank,
Cyno,
I know I should just talk to you, but saying this... it would be to hard, to upsetting. Before we had started arguing, I had planned to tell you I was moving...family reasons. I'm...I'm sorry, I wish you could have had more of a warning, but as you read this I'm already making my way out the back door...
Goodbye..
He ran to the backside of the house, but you'd already left...he was alone, with nothing but a letter you'd wrote and a guilt he'd never be able to shake until he saw you again...
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
◥(•̀₩•́)◤☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 ☾𖤓~Have a nice day~*⁠.⁠✧
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mysaintkitten · 7 months
Note
Choking Cillian Murphy 😩
(He's still dominating 😏)
Between Shoots | Cillian Murphy x fem!reader
prompt: you and cillian have a bit of fun in his trailer (NSFW!! NO MINORS!! + in this fic cillian is single and it does not reflect him as an actual person, it’s all for the sake of the fic)
WARNINGS: reader is implied to be an actress, unprotected sex (p in v), choking, implied age gap (everyone’s legal), brief use of the term “little girl”, slight dumbification (my weakness im sorry), slight praise/degradation, creampie
word count: 1.5k
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cillian was meant to be your costar. that’s all. you had to work with him on a few scenes, but you had no idea that you’d end up in his trailer riding him.
“that’s it, god, gripping me so nicely.” cillian moans into your ear, smacking you harshly on the ass.
you hide your face in his neck and whimper, riding him at a rough and desperate pace.
his hands move from your ass to your hips, keeping you in place as he pounds up unto you, making you mewl loudly.
“how’s it feel, sweetheart?” he groans, his voice low but sweet, it almost felt taunting. he knows how good it feels, he knows you’re speechless from his thrusts, he just wants to hear you struggle.
“i-its, ah!” you stammer, digging your nails into cillian’s shoulder, “good-d, hmm, ‘s good ..”
you hear him chuckle breathily, “i know, can feel you dripping down my cock, darling. that cunt of yours is gonna ruin this sofa.”
he wasn’t lying. your slick had coated his cock, spilled onto his balls, and formed a small damp patch between his legs. you knew you weren’t going to be drying up anytime soon, so you feel a small wave of humiliation.
“sorry .. m sorry ..” you whimper, “been so l-long since .. since i felt this g-good ..”
he slows his pounding, slowly rocking your hips to allow you to resume riding him, you quickly pick up on his hints and he clicks his tongue,
“aw, such a sweet girl. it’s alright, doll. you know how you can make it up to me?”
cillian really didn’t mind that your arousal spilled onto the sofa, he had the money to get it deep cleaned. he could buy a brand new sofa if he wanted to, but he had something else in mind.
“hm?” you whine from inside his neck
“look at me, or i won’t let you come.” he purrs, you pull your head out from his neck to stare into his icy blue eyes.
his eyes scan you, as he brushes some stray hairs from out of your face, “pretty girl, if you want to make it up to me, you can choke me.” he hums, running his thumb along your cheek and bottom lip.
your hips movements slowly come to a stop as you catch your breath, “you want me to .. what?” you question
“no, no,” cillian tuts, “i didn’t tell you to stop.”
you pick up your hip movements again, whimpering quietly at the delicious fullness he was providing you with.
“choke me.” he raises his brows at you. you’re still a bit confused, despite him being very clear on what he wants.
“cillian, i-“ you start, before he sighs, “sweetheart, have you been fucked stupid already? what’s so hard to get?”
you whimper at his sudden change in tone, but you kind of enjoy the degrading nature of his words. in all honesty, his cock was making your mind a bit laggy.
“i’ve just .. never done it before ..” you mumble, feeling your cheeks burn a bit more than they already were.
“do i need to show you, baby? dumb it down for you to understand?” his voice lingering with feigned pity, as if his words itself didn’t make that apparent enough. you can’t respond, every nerve ending on your body felt sensitive and overwhelmed. having to ride him while listening to his degrading words and requests was becoming embarrassingly difficult for you.
he smacks your ass again to get your attention, “watch.”
you whine loudly at the strike, bringing your focus back to him.
“i’m going to make this really simple for you, sweetheart,” he hums, “place your hand here,” he brings your hand from his shoulder to his neck, “now, grip the sides, and ride me. easy enough, darling?”
you nod and grip his neck, continuing to ride him.
a fucked out grin spreads across his lips, “that’s it, good little girl,” he praises, “such a good listener.”
you blush at cillian’s approval, your thighs shaking from being sore and from your approaching orgasm.
you continue to choke him and whine, watching how his eyes switch from your face to down to your pussy, seeing himself disappear inside of you. his eyes are half-lidded as they make their way back up to your face slowly, “prettiest cunt i’ve ever seen ..” he moans, placing both of his hands into your ass to grip the flesh.
“cillian ..” you whine, your thighs are vigorously shaking at this point, “keep your hand on m’neck, baby ..” he groans before thrusting up into you again while holding you in place.
his harsh thrusts allow you to not only feel your arousal dripping around him, but you hear how wet you are, he chuckles lowly.
“hear that, hm?” cillian purrs, “hear how messy that pussy is?”
despite your hand being on his neck, continuing to choke him, he’s still dominant. you never knew how much you’d enjoy this combination.
“y-yes, mmh, ye-s!” you whine, unconsciously gripping his neck harder as you try and find some grounding during his pounding.
he moans and this thrust start to become more jagged, “good, gonna come in this pretty little cunt.”
in the moment, you had completely forgotten that he wasn’t wearing a condom. your mind too fixated on pleasing cillian while simultaneously being extremely pleased by him, it must’ve just slipped your mind.
so, you beg. you beg for him to come inside you, not worrying about the potential consequences.
“yes, please, pl-ease!” you cry, “come-e inside me, clai-m me!”, your desperation is pathetic, but it fuels cillian like nothing else.
“yeah? want me to claim this pussy? come by and ruin it whenever i like?” he growls, his mind becoming fuzzy from the lack of blood flow and the intoxicating grip of your cunt.
you whine at the thought, the idea of being a little fuck toy for cillian. his own personal fleshlight to use whenever he needed a warm and wet hole.
“yes! god, yes!” you moan loudly, anyone passing by his trailer would’ve heard. but you didn’t care, and cillian certianly didn’t care either.
your orgasm sneaks closer and closer, your pussy involuntarily clenching around him irregularly, he’s pushed over the edge, breathing heavily and groaning loudly as he shoots his hot load inside of you.
when you realize he’s come, you shakily remove your hand from his neck.
you huff and remain on his lap with his cock still inside you, running your hands along his pecs.
he brings his wrist up to his forehead and swipes some sweat off, “did y’come?” he breathes,
you shake your head no, “it’s okay, though, i can get my-“ before you can finish he’s snuck his fingers down between your legs, rubbing your neglected clit.
you whimper and clench around him again, the overstimulation making him growl.
you were already so so close, it won’t take much to make you come at this point.
“did so good .. sweet little girl, even sweeter cunt ..” he hums, smiling weakly at you while his free hand runs along your waist and thighs, rubbing your body in a calming manner.
“cillian .. cillian i’m close-“ you whimper, screwing your eyes shut as your body begins to twitch from his touches.
“i can feel it, darling, come for me.” he responds, and after a few more rubs you’re coming on his cock, covering your mouth to try and stifle the loud moans you knew would be escaping your lips.
although he wishes he could’ve heard you shout as you came, he knows it was probably the better bet to keep you quiet. people had certainly heard you two, maybe nows the time to have the slightest bit of decency.
he allows you to ride your orgasm out on his cock, gritting his teeth through the sensitivity.
once you’re done, he pats your thigh, “off, sweetheart, i’d love to keep this going, but i’m too sensitive and we’ve got another scene to shoot.”
you scoot off his lap and you’re brought back to reality. you just slept with your costar, who you’re going to have to continue to film with as if nothing happened.
he stands up and grabs a damp face cloth to clean himself off with, handing you a separate cloth to do the same.
as cillian stands there, sliding on a clean pair of boxers, you look down at the sofa beneath you and feel yourself blush at the undeniable wet stain you’ve left.
“want fresh panties?” he asks, tugging his jeans back up.
your eyes shoot back up to him, prior to the sex cillian had done an extensive amount of foreplay. you had only a skirt on, so a thin layer of fabric separated your warm core and his touches. you were soaking through your panties before he gave in and finally fucked you, so you reply “yes, please.”
he searches around the trailer briefly before clicking his tongue, “sorry, love. i haven’t gotten any. guess you’re gonna have to go without.”
your eyes go wide, “i can’t! i have to wear a skirt, cillian!”
he just grins while slipping your old panties into his bag, “you’re shooting with me, it’s nothing i haven’t already seen.”
your thighs clench at his words,
“maybe i’ll even get a glance of my come spilling out of you,” he coos, “do you think you’re professional enough to continue acting while you feel my seed dripping out of you?”
happy halloween (eve) to y’all who celebrate hehe !!
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siasthoughts · 11 days
Text
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« I'M THE ONE YOU ALWAYS NEED. »
CONCEPT; MORTEFI X F!READER . YOU WENT TO HIM TO ASK HIM TO INVENT SOMETHING.
TOPICS/WARNINGS; USING TOYS . QUICK ORAL (F!RECEIVING) . ATP IDK . NGL THIS FEELS LIKE A DRABBLE . P IN V . PROBABLY OOC
IM PLAYING WUTHERING WAVES AND IM IN LOVE W SO MANY OF THEM N R PLANNING SOME FICS 💞 also should i start writing on ao3 hehe
WORD COUNT; 1.5K
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"hey..." you voiced awkwardly as you tapped your knuckles at his open office door, catching his attention. "yes, do you need anything?" he asks, turning towards you and putting down his tablet. you walk into the office nervously, "you said i could ask you if i needed anything made, right?" you questioned, averting your gaze and looking around the room. "yes... i did say that." he looks at you, crossing his arms as he observed your anxious expression. you gulped quietly, swallowing your pride as you really can't seem to find anyone that sells these things... "have you ever made a..."
his eyes widen slightly at your inquiry, a replica of male genitalia? he clears his throat, holding up his fist to his mouth as he took a few moments to think before speaking up, "well no but... i couldn't say that anyone ever asked either." he turns back around to his desk and sends the current hologram he's working on into his drafts before starting a new project, "so... can you?" you asked for reassurance, tilting your head to get a view of the hologram.
he turns to you, leaning on his desk as he looks down at you with rested eyes, you could feel that you've definitely piqued his interest with your 'invention idea.' "have you ever considered just finding someone to be able to..." his voice lowers, "-use the real thing?" he leans down just a bit, but enough for you to get what he's insinuating. "well sure, in a way." you answered, your voice tensing up.
"oh really?" he retreats back, bringing up his hand to push his glasses back, "which person have you thought of?" he interrogated, seemingly trying to pry a certain answer out of you. you look away, staying silent for a few moments he breaks the silence with a small sigh, "well, it's understandable if you wish to not answer. but, i'll try to make that for you. expect it by the end of the day."
he sure works quick. a relieved exhale, even though embarassment still ran through your body, huffs out of your lips as he turns back to his desk. "t-thank you." you stammer nervously as you swiftly made your way out without exchanging any last words with the red haired researcher.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
as you were just getting ready to leave the laboratory, you hear a certain voice call out from behind you. you turn to see a familiar figure with gold-rimmed glasses—mortefi, and he was holding a paper bag.
you feel heat rise to your face as you remember what you just asked of him. "here's what you requested." he walks over to you, holding up the bag as his tablet rested within his other hand. "oh... you really made one." your hands trembled slightly as you took the bag, feeling shame wash over you. "oh, and sorry if it might not be to your best liking, i used... my own as a slight reference." he said as he closed his eyes for a few moments before looking back up at you.
shock runs through you for a few moments before you smiled awkwardly at him, "oh- okay. thanks a lot though!" you tried to force an enthusiastic answer, failing miserable as your voice cracked a bit. "well then, i guess it's time to head home and have fun, no?" he said rather coldly, and with a straight face as he eyed you. well that felt rather insulting. you laughed sheepishly as you clenched onto the paper bag.
you thought about it for a while, if it's like his... why not just use the actual reference?
"sir... have you ever bothered doing these things with someone?" you asked, making the tension even more unbearable and uncomfortable. his eyes narrowed as he looked at you, certain conclusions and thoughts already being formed in his head. "yes, in a way." he answered, seemingly mocking your words from earlier. "then..." you took a small breath, "would you mind using this with me?" your voice shakes as your grip on the bag tightens.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
well fuck.
he now knelt in between your thighs, with your legs over his shoulders, taking in your most sensitive parts as you sat over his desk. "i suppose we need to make your body ready first, right?" he voiced hoarsely, how is he doing this with a stern and cold expression? you swallow a breath as you looked at his calm gaze, "y-yes." you stuttered in a failed attempt to seem composed.
he took off his glasses, and placing it on his cold table before placing a warm, wet kiss onto your core, making your body shiver. you looked down at him as he strategically worked his mouth around you. he held onto your thighs, keeping you stable as his tongue gently worked around your folds, preparing your body and riling up it's appetite. your legs lock his head within your thighs, pulling him closer to your pussy. "mm..." he groaned out, making him frown a bit though he didn't really... dislike it.
"sorry..." you mumbled quietly, loosening your grip as he pulls back, and getting back up "it's very much okay and reasonable." he assures as he reaches for the bag and takes out it's contents. you shift your gaze to what's now in his hands, he used his own as reference?! it was lengthy, and he brought it down to your already wet cunt. "are you ready?" he asked, positioning the dildo against your drooling pussy, "yes." you whined quietly, looking down at the silicone toy.
"alright, i'm gonna do it slowly, okay?" he assured, his voice was low as he slowly pushed it in, starting with the tip. he kept his attention down towards your hole, observing the way it clenched desperately around the fake cock. he clenched his jaw as he slowly pushed it further, earning him a small moan from you as he felt his pants tighten. well shit.
he notices the now growing bulge in his pants as he pushes the entire thing into you gently, "is it okay?" he asks, looking back up at your now pleasure-washed face. it turned him even more. "absolutely..." you responded breathily as you looked down to see his aching cock hiding under the fabric of his pants. "i'll move it now." he thrusted the toy in and out slowly, hearing the wet noises as your pussy resisted against the movement.
he groans, feeling extremely jealous of the silicone figure within his hands. you moaned at the sensation electrifying you, shooting shots of pleasure into your veins as his hands sped up. your body shook as he started to get rougher, now slamming it into you as a knot formed quickly within your core.
"i-i'm getting close..." you mewled out as your legs instinctively closed themselves, and your back arching as his hand kept themselves on your hip to keep you stable. you cry out as you feel the pleasure wash over you, that knot breaking apart as you feel warm liquid spill out of your pussy, making your legs weak. "ah..." he muttered as he slowly pulled it out, feeling the fabric encasing his own heat now tighten even more as it hurts.
you look down at it, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips as you look up at him, "better if it's the real thing, no?" you said with a dazed laugh as you wrap your legs around his waist. "is this permission?" he asks with eager eyes as he put the dildo aside and his hands slowly undid his pants. "mhm..." you hummed, and even though you just finished, you felt excited for the real thing.
he laughed quietly as he let his pants fall a bit, revealing his twitching dick. it was desperate for your gaping hole, the way it squeezed on the dildo made him all frustrated for some reason. he wanted to feel it for himself. "i'm sorry, dear, i can't wait." he apologizes before pushing himself slowly but firmly into you. he groans at the feeling, your walls tightened against him and sending his body into euphoria as he feels his control over his body slowly dissipate.
you let out a staggered breath, though the smile returns to your lips as you find it in you to make some teasing remarks. "feels good, doesn't it?" you whisper as your hand moves up to cradle his face. "yes..." he says huskily as he couldn't find the strength to move. "what's wrong? why can't you move?" you voiced rather condescendingly as you start to circle your hips against him.
he frowns as his body twitches at your motion, with his grip on your waist deepening. you feel his fingers dig into your soft skin, making you feel a bit confident of your skills. mortefi hisses through his teeth as he slowly started to move, his length leaving your insides empty for a few moments before burying himself back inside you.
a small cry escapes your lips as you feel his cock fill your empty hole, and your body reacts as if it was running on desire. you reach for his back, your arms travel down his waist, stopping just at the hill of his hips. you push him further into you as sounds of pleasure quickly filled the room, echoing through the empty walls. you're both so lucky that everybody's gone.
you claw at his clothes, feeling as if you were ripping the white fabric apart, you whine out his name as you feel that familiar feeling boil up within your body. and you were sure he could feel it too. "are you close?" you asked breathily as his pace started to speed up, rougher, and harder. "so... tight." he frowns as he ravishes in the pleasure, letting it devour him as he continues to ram himself into you.
"i'm so close-" he scowls, his other hand roaming the skin of your stomach as he takes in the view under him. your vision slowly fades to white as you feel your mind go blank, losing your control over your body as you feel that sensation shatter, sending shards of pleasure all across your body. your body uncontrollably trembles under his touch as he pulls out swiftly with a groan and pressing his dick against your cunt, grinding into his climax.
you feel a sticky, warm liquid spill across your stomach and the soft plush of your pussy.
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okay it's all up to u now guys 🤑
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haikyu-mp4 · 19 days
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kinda scared to ask this but have you done a kenma x reader panic attack drabble cause i think itd be super cute but if youve already done this then im so sorry for asking T-T
thanks a bunch <33
that is such a sweet request! not sure which one of them you wanted to experience a panic attack, but I decided to have Kenma calm the reader down. also, this might be a bit longer than a drabble, hope that’s still okay<3
How to care for you
word count; 1310 – gn!reader
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You hadn’t had any major panic attacks since you were younger. Sure, you struggled with anxiety, but it became less prominent after you found Kenma. He was quite straightforward and dedicated to helping you with anything you might need, and you communicated well even though he was never a big talker. So you frowned while putting away the dishes, wondering why you felt nauseous and couldn’t focus on only one problem at a time. Why did it suddenly feel like double as many problems? You moved to the fridge, looking for the bottle of water you kept in there to keep it super cold when you realised what this was, the reason you were suddenly so scared. A panic attack.
You had problems at work lately, feeling like every coworker used you to make themselves look better, which led to you making mistakes anyway. Then yesterday, you started hearing comments that suggested you probably didn’t care about your job now that you had such a rich and influential husband.
Lately, you also had your suspicions about your friends not inviting you to things anymore, probably because of jealousy, but you couldn’t help but wonder if it was because you weren’t enough. Your pulse started racing, hands sweating, and you slammed the door to the fridge shut, lips parted wide as your lungs desperately tried to catch on to as much air as they could, hungrily taking in more than they could handle at a time.
You didn’t get far before you sat down on the cold floor, back leaned on the front of a kitchen counter. You’re not crying, but your shoulders still shake with pitiful sobs. How stupid of you to get a panic attack again over a problem you made yourself, you think. Did you not appreciate your job? Maybe you had subconsciously started slacking off, and maybe you were rubbing your happiness too harshly into your friends’ faces. There were so many negative thoughts taking over. The only thought that rang a little louder than the others and finally slipped past your lips was a tiny whisper of Kozu, please.
Kenma had his headphones on, testing out a new game on livestream without any hitches, when he could swear he felt like some sound managed to sneak past his soundproof headphones. Or perhaps it was the slightest shaking of his desk that he still hadn’t tightened the screws of even though he kept saying he probably should. Or perhaps it was simply his husband's instinct kicking in, knowing you should still be home after you two had dinner together earlier and you told him you wanted to get some stuff done and didn’t feel like going out with your friends.
No matter how he knew, he only spent a few minutes mulling it over in his mind while chewing on the corner of his lip before excusing himself and pausing the livestream, finally taking the headphones off and getting up. Because he wasn’t a big yeller, he just made his way through your fancy house a bit quicker than usual while his catlike eyes scanned through every room. Until he got closer to the kitchen and could finally hear heaving sobs that made him kick into a small run, bare feet on the cold floor making small pat pat sounds that you couldn’t hear over your raging fears pounding the inside of your head.
Your body jolted slightly when Kozume put his hand on your shoulder and you looked up at him with teary eyes. Your legs were pushed towards your chest, not helping your airflow, so Kozume put his other hand on your closest thigh, smoothing his touch over it to make you stretch it out. “You need to breathe,” he said, a simple instruction that at least made you respond.
“Help me?”
Kozume gulped. In all honesty, he wasn’t confident about how to help you. What if you didn’t respond to what calmed him down? You had been there for him through a couple of panic attacks before, and it had taken a couple of tries before you learnt that soft songs under your breath while holding him not too tightly were just the way to ease him into less deprecating thoughts and fight off the fear.
“Maybe we should move-”
“No,” you said shakily. He knew he was not strong enough to lift you off the floor, so he just nodded and racked his brain for something else. There had to be some strategy here…
“Try to think of something nice, we’re going to that event next week in our cosplays!” he said, voice light as he tried his best to encourage you. You put your hands on your head, squeezing your eyes shut.
“I’ll probably mess that up too, what if something goes wrong and I end up ruining your career!” you answered, the tears finally escaping while Kozume felt hopeless for a second. His heart ached from seeing you like this, he so desperately wanted to help you.
Finally, he had a thought. He shouldn’t be shy around you after all this time, but showing you love still made his ears red. So with burning ears, he sat close beside you and tucked his arms around you, leaning your legs over his lap and supporting your body on his while one hand ran up and down your back and the other massaged where he could reach on your legs to loosen up your muscles.
It was uncomfortable. The edge of the drawer behind him was slightly poking into his shoulder blade and his tailbone was not appreciating the hard floor, but that didn’t matter. Not when you tucked your head under his chin, ear resting on his chest where you could hear his heartbeat. He held you tightly, vocalising every breath he took so that you might find it easier to follow. Then, with that soft voice of his, he said “You’re at home with me. It’s safe, you don’t have to be afraid.”
As the fearful feeling finally started dissipating, you were left with an ache from the strain you put on your muscles, which finally made you slump all the way into your husband’s body. “I did want to go out with friends today, they just didn’t invite me. I’ve been so busy with work but it feels like I’m doing everything wrong there too. My life is falling apart and it’s all my fault.”
He let you ramble because he could feel that your body was more relaxed now, so he just hummed to confirm he was listening. He considered how to answer you, thinking that you probably didn’t need to hear that he could provide for both of you and you didn’t need a job. “Tomorrow, we can look at all the job-related things together and try to strategise. Maybe some knots just need to be loosened up for you to feel more in control,” he suggested, and you nodded from your awkward angle.
“Thank you.” You breathed in and out but it was still shaky.
“Mhm. And I’m sure you know, but your friends kinda suck.” That even made you laugh a little, and Kozume put on a small smile. “I could ask for a double date with the Kuroos again? I want to help you if I can, but I don’t want to intrude.”
“The Kuroo’s are so nice,” you whispered back, making him take a mental note to send his best friend a message later.
You two slowly got up off the floor and he asked you to draw a bath while he ended the livestream with a quick apology and promise of a giveaway at the end of the week. He had to join his partner for some much-needed self-care.
Nothing was more important to him than learning how to take care of you.
masterlist
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kvrokasaa · 5 months
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hi there!! you have wonderful work :) i was wondering if you could write for akaashi, kuroo, and atsumu with a girlfriend who finds out her friends are fake (talking crap, bullying her, etc.). i just wanna know what the boys would do about it. im sorry if this is too specific!
a/n: AHHH my first request!! Don't worry anon, this isn't too specific :), thank you hsjdhsjahdj
Fake Friends
Includes: Akaashi, Kuroo, Atsumu (separately) x Fem!reader
cw: cussing, bullying, spitting, hitting, hair pulling, slapping, implied slapping, corny chemistry joke.
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Akaashi wasn't too concerned about friendships, relationships, or anything of the like. That's what he used to think, until he met you.
Before he met you, he would walk home alone, he would only hang out with his team when they celebrated a win. But now he has someone to walk with him, someone to hold when he needs the comfort. He has someone who he can rant to when he needs to.
Those few things are the reasons why he loves you so much. But he wonders if he's ever going overboard when ranting to you. He never hears your side of things, he never hears you complain about things. He wonders why. Maybe you're just not comfortable with sharing?
He finds out the reason after just a few days of worrying.
Akaashi came to pick you up from your class, ready to walk you to your next like usual. But he hears some noises, which isn't out of the ordinary. But he hears girls saying mean things, almost like they're patronizing someone.
And when Akaashi opens the door a little wider, not enough to be seen but enough to see what is going on, he sees you. You're at your seat, head down while your hair covers your face. Three girls surround you.
One points her finger at you, "what gives you the right to think you can blow us off?" She gives you a stern look. But this wasn't something a friend would say, no. She said it in a vial and cruel tone.
"You should know by now that you're nothing but a dog for us."
Another girl laughs at the statement, her hand covering her lips as she looks down at you. The third girl sits on the desk facing you.
"Answer me, you bitch!" The first girl grabs your hair, which makes you look up at her. Tears are flowing down your cheeks.
"Aww, she's crying. Fucking pathetic." The girl sitting on the desk starts laughing at seeing your tears. She puts her hand out, showing her rings to your face, "come on, mutt. You know what to do."
Just as you're about to lean forward to kiss her rings, Akaashi stalks towards the girls and slaps the girl's hand out of your face. He has an angry expression on his face, his eyebrows furrowed and his lips in a straight line.
"What gives you the right to treat my girlfriend like a dog?!"
Akaashi clenches his jaw. He's seen enough, no wonder why you were always so quick to do something for him. You're used to this kind of treatment.
You look to the side, eyes wide at the seen in front of you. "Keiji, it's not what you think!" Akaashi's head snaps over to you, are you really defending these girls? How long have you been accustomed to this kind of behavior?
But Akaashi doesn't respond, he only grabs your hand and leads you out to the hallway. "Those aren't your friends. Do you understand?"
You can only nod in response, your eyes brimming with tears, afraid that he's mad at you now. But Akaashi pulls you into his chest, hiding your face from anyone who passes.
"Don't let people like that control you, Y/n. You're too good for that."
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Kuroo had a goofy smile on his face, ready to tell you another science joke. He knows you hate them, that you cringe every time you hear one. But you still smile at him, you still laugh at his stupid jokes.
He rounds the corner, about to make it down to your street, but he catches sight of five people on the sidewalk in front of him.
Two boys and two girls surround another person that is sitting on the ground. They all have a big smile on their faces as they yell at the fifth person. Kuroo isn't one for confrontation, when he sees something like this happening, he usually just threatens to call their parents or something of the like.
But as he walked closer, he realized that you're the one on the ground, a big, ugly handprint on your cheek. Your head is down, tears streaming down your face. Kuroo can't even imagine how you managed to fall to the ground.
All thoughts leave his mind when he sees one of the boys lean down and spit on your shirt. Kuroo's eyes widen, and he grits his teeth. Did that scumbag really just do that?!
"What makes you think you can be with Kuroo?" He hears one of the girl's voices shouting at you. She points her finger at you and sneers, "did you get with him because you knew I like him? Answer you ugly whore!"
Kuroo grows tired from hearing these words. He walks over to the scene, but not before hearing an insult from one of the boys.
"You're such a fucking pig. Always stealing guys, you'd really let anyone use you, huh." He laughs.
Kuroo starts walking faster, and once he gets to the scene, he grabs the guy's shirt, pulling him back and pushing him. The guy falls to the floor and looks up, he glares at Kuroo.
But before anyone can try to throw a punch or slap, Kuroo grabs your hand and takes off, running down the street.
Once you both get to a safe and secluded place, he immediately pulls you into a hug. Your tears start flowing down your face as you hug him back.
"Carbon and hydrogen went on a date. I heard they really bonded."
You pull back from the hug and playfully slap Kuroo's chest, "'s stupid." He smiles when he hears you laugh through the tears.
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You never thought you would be dating Astumu Miya. You always thought his fangirls were a bit too much, and maybe they'd even threaten you.
But now you're having the time of your life because of him. Every worry ceases to exist when you're around him. He just has that effect on you.
But that doesn't mean his fangirls wouldn't try to hurt you in any way.
Over the time your relationship started, you gained new friends. You didn't recognize them as Astumu's fangirls, so your worries were unfound. Oh, how wrong you were.
One of his fangirls, Hana, managed to squeeze her way into your life. She was nice at first, gaining your trust, making you feel good around her. She was so nice that you considered her your best friend.
But once she gained your trust, she immediately turned against you. She would copy you, steal your clothes when she slept over, blame you for things that aren't your fault - she would do everything in her power to make you feel horrible.
Astumu didn't catch wind of this problem until a few months after it started. At first, he thought that you two were super close. He thought that someone was on your side.
But he knew he was mistaken when he started noticing the signs of her behavior changing. One of the main things he noticed was when you tried to talk, she would interrupt you and start talking about her day or other trivial things. She would take credit for your ideas. She even stole the necklace that he gifted you for your third mensiversary.
Astumu could only sit back and watch you let this happen. He knew that you didn't have many friends, so you didn't want to lose her.
But after a few more months, he knew that he had to put a stop to this. He knew when he saw you looking at yourself in the mirror after your 'friend' told you to lose some weight.
"Astumu would look better with someone who doesn't look like," she paused, "that."
While you were talking to Astumu in your bedroom, he comes over frequently, with your 'friend.' She interrupted you again as she stood up and smiled at him.
"Y/n, just stop talk-"
She was cut off by Astumu's glare, his jaw clenched, and his eyebrows furrowed. He looked pissed, and the girl had her eyes widened at his expression.
"When my girl speaks, you sit and fucking listen."
His tone was harsh, cruel, making the girl sit immediately.
But she couldn't listen to another word, she was scared out of her mind. She huffed and stormed out of your bedroom, grabbing her coat and shoes as she ran off.
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protective men protective men protective men protective men!!!! HGSHGHASG
I love when men are protective of their woman!!!
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qatarsprint2023 · 4 months
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Hi im shamelessly in love with Oscar so how about Oscar x reader, where the reader gets really overwhelmed and Oscar helps calm her down!!!
I really liked writing this because I've been getting so many Lando requests and I'm not even that big of a Lando girl (I'm sorry!) I'm not quite sure if you meant it like this or more like a meltdown overwhelmed, but I hope you enjoy anyways <3
That overwhelming world of his — OP81
Oscar takes his girlfriend to an official event for the first time and she gets overwhelmed from how it all works — Oscar Piastri x f!reader, comfort, fluff, no use of y/n, Oscar being a sweetheart, reader has social anxiety, body image issues word count: ca. 1.3k
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Being with Oscar also required being okay with the fame and spotlight that came with dating an athlete in the most prestigious category of motorsports— Formula One.
You adored watching your boyfriend race— even more when he had a good result, but you were always there for him, comforting and holding and reassuring him when he didn't do quite as well, too.
Today was the day Oscar had been looking forward to with excitement for at least a month now. He was going to be awarded his second Rookie of the Year award at the FIA prize giving tonight. He had received his first one in 2021 when he was still a rookie in F2 and not driving for one of the most prestigious teams in Formula One.
However this year was the first time he'd bring you as his date because unfortunately you'd been way too busy with working to get your degree to even take a few days off for his first award. You didn't usually go to these kinds of events with Oscar. It wasn't like you needed to be attached at the hip to still be a loving couple with a healthy relationship. He could do things without you and you could do things without him.
That didn't mean that you didn't care about the other's career, though. In fact, it was quite the opposite actually. Oscar had instantly been one of your biggest supporters when you'd finally decided on what you wanted to study. Your boyfriend had helped you through exams and countless late night study sessions, just like you'd always supported his passion for racing through highs and lows.
Now this was different. Today you'd spent hours getting ready. Redoing your hair and make-up over and over again, criticizing your appearance in the mirror until you looked presentable. Getting dressed had been even worse. One dress you tried just looked like a potato sack on you, the next had you picking and pinching the fabric in front of the full length mirror in the bedroom with a scrutinizing gaze.
Oscar had been a silent presence in the doorway as he watched you stare at yourself like that until he'd slowly gone and hugged you gently, hoping it would make you feel better about whatever your mind was telling you. Then he'd taken the decision problem off your hands by looking at the dresses in your closet for about a minute and then taking out a very nice dress with navy blue fabric and pretty embroidered flowers. Eventually you'd just gone with that one, knowing you couldn't spend hours trying to fix what didn't really need to be fixed.
The ride in the car afterwards was tense and quiet as your mind wandered. Oscar mentally prepared himself to receive his award while you kept bouncing your leg and picking at your nails. That was until Oscar just took your hand in his and gently let his thumb draw small circles into the skin there, whispering a soft "You'll do great," as he kept one hand on the steering wheel.
When you arrived at the venue, Oscar got out first and walked around to open your car door for you like a real gentleman. As you stepped out of the car, you were both instantly caught in the flickering flashlights of cameras to each side of the entrance and calls of "Oscar! Oscar, here!" from photographers who hoped to catch your boyfriend smiling at their camera.
The onslaught of flashing lights and clamoring voices overwhelmed your senses, made your heart speed up and your mouth go dry as your eyes darted all around. It felt like stepping into a whirlwind of attention and scrutiny, each flash of a camera a reminder of Oscar's world—a world where every move was watched, every word dissected.
You clung to Oscar's hand like a lifeline, trying to navigate the sea of people and paparazzi, your heart pounding like it wanted to run away. Each click that came from the cameras around seemed like a spotlight on every single one of your insecurities, leaving them out for everyone to see and judge.
Your grip on your boyfriend's hand tightened as you felt your breathing speed up a little, seeking solace in the familiar warmth of his skin. He seemed to sense your unease and pulled you a little closer, shielding you from the chaotic scene around. His touch offered reassurance as he guided you through the maze of photographers and flashing lights. The voices calling out faded into the background as he whispered a tender, "I've got you."
As you entered the venue, the atmosphere shifted from the outside frenzy to a more controlled chaos within. The air was thick with anticipation and the buzz of conversations. Oscar led you towards the event hall, his hand a steady anchor in the overwhelming current.
You caught glimpses of familiar faces, fellow drivers and their partners, all effortlessly navigating this world that felt like an alien landscape to you. The weight of inadequacy pressed upon your shoulders, and you couldn't shake the feeling of being an outsider in this world of glamour.
You could feel eyes on you and the pressure seemed almost suffocating. You knew you didn't have that model look the girls that dated Oscar's fellow drivers had, and you'd never really thought of that as something too bad, however surrounded by people who looked so perfect, so unreal, you felt so wrong.
As you took your seats, the crowd's buzz continued, but Oscar's focus remained on you as you started bouncing your leg under the table, your fingers subconsciously picking at your dress' fabric just like earlier in front of the mirror. Leaning in, he murmured, "I'm here. Just be yourself, okay? I'm happy to have you here with me, you know that?"
You gave a short nod in reply, however still kept your fingers intertwined with his under the table as he made conversation with the woman in the seat beside him. His hand felt so warm and reassuring, his skin slightly calloused from years of hard training for a very demanding sport.
Throughout the ceremony, Oscar's gaze periodically met yours, silently offering encouragement through his honey brown eyes, telling you that you were allowed to be here just as much as everyone else. When the moment arrived for him to accept the award, he gave your hand a quick squeeze before stepping onto the stage with a big smile on his face as applause and cheers echoed through the hall. You'd never felt more proud.
After the accolades subsided and the night unfolded, Oscar made a conscious effort to ensure you felt included despite obviously being confused by everything, introducing you to fellow racers and their partners.
A little later in the evening, when people had almost forgotten about the actual reason they were even here, Oscar guided you to a more quiet corner, away from the prying eyes. The genuine concern in his eyes mirrored the unspoken understanding between you. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice gentle and filled with sincerity.
"It's so overwhelming," you muttered quietly. "There are so many people, so many cameras, the noise... It feels so wrong to be here."
"Hey, don't do that," he scolded you softly, taking your hands in his. "You're allowed here just as much as me. Take a deep breath, okay? We're a team right?"
"Right," you replied with a nod and drew in a shaky breath.
"You're doing wonderful, don't worry. I know you get anxious around so many people, so many eyes," your boyfriend told you in a soft tone of voice and gently pulled you close, brushing his lips against your temple. "I'm just happy you came with me, sweetheart."
In that moment, as Oscar's words wrapped around you like a comforting embrace, you realized that even in the whirlwind of this foreign world, he cherished you and all the love and support you brought into his life.
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