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kolsmikaelson · 1 year

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I’m rewatching Wednesday and when Xavier said he was ‘two feet shorter and about forty pounds heavier’ kinda made me think he’d have stretch marks? And idk I’ve been thinking of tracing them and like complimenting them

kiss me, kiss me — xavier thorpe x reader

word count - 734 join taglist warnings - slightly insecure!xavier, foul language

a/n - i wasn’t completely sure what way you wanted me to go with this so i hope you enjoy <3.

Xavier was coming out of his bathroom, sweatpants low on his waist and one around his neck to dry his hair and no shirt on, when you knocked on his door. He takes a moment to rub the water out of his hair before throwing the towel in his hands onto the foot of his bed.

“Hi baby.” Xaviers face lights up when he opens his door to reveal you with snacks in one hand and an extra blanket in the other. “So I was thinking we should go either comedy or horror tonight?” you proposed while you brushed past him to set your things onto his desk.

For a moment he’d forgotten why you were there, it was Friday, your movie nights. He wasn’t completely sure when they began but he certainly wasn’t going to complain about spending time with his favorite person. Sometimes you’d switch off between your dorms, however after the events with Rowan went down movie nights took place in his room more often than not. No roommate to interrupt the peace during whatever movie you or Xavier had picked and nobody to comment on the way you supposedly looked at one another — your roommate, Yoko, loved to point it out no matter how many times you’d denied it. Though both of you had feelings for each other, there was no chance in hell you were going to risk the relationship you had.

Xavier had a crush on you from the beginning of your friendship while your’s came a couple of months later. There were little things each of you did to show your affection for the other so as to not say your feelings outright. You’d keep a hair tie on your wrist at all times for when he inevitably forgets his somewhere, while he’ll give you little drawings most days. Sometimes they’d be of you in class or something he’d seen and thought you might like. Every time it was the latter he made a mental note to make it come to life for you at some point.

“Xav? What do you think?” you speak, breaking the boy from his thoughts.

“Oh uh whatever you want. Isn’t it your turn to pick anyway?” he shrugs.

“Y’know that I like to pick something we’ll both like.”you mutter, walking closer to him. Quickly, you bring your arms around him and pull him into a hug. Both you and Xavier stand in the middle of his room for what feels like forever, enjoying the warmth of his skin radiating out into the shared space between you.

Stepping back slightly, your eyes wander across his naked torso and they stop on the marks ranging from dark to light that are lining the area above his hips. It’s not as if you hadn’t seen him shirtless before, but seeing them up close sparked something in you. Lifting a hand towards the marks you let it hover above his skin. “Can I…” Xavier is nodding before you can get another word out.

You begin to run your thumb across the markings, tracing over them, learning and memorizing the way that they feel under your skin, the supple skin bumping up against your fingers.

When you glance up at him, the worried look etched on Xaviers face isn’t hard to miss. Your heart stutters and your smile falters as you realize how he might feel in that moment.

“Hey, I’m sorry don’t worry, I think that they make you look pretty cute.” your voice is soft-spoken, trying to convey the truth to the long haired boy. Xaviers worries fade away a little bit as a smile is brought to his face, sensing the honesty in your voice. His smile grows slightly bigger when he still feels your fingers tracing over the marks.

“Thank you.” the words fall from his lips quickly. Though he was short with his response you knew that he meant it.

“Kiss me.” Both you and Xavier blurt out at the same time. His eyes widen in shock and your shoulders shake with laughter.

Xavier cups your cheek and brings his head down to yours, and presses his lips on yours for the first time. It felt as if sparks were flying around you two. When you break apart, Xavier has a goofy smile on his face that makes your heart melt.

“Come on pretty boy. It’s movie time.” you smile.

taglist (bolded means I cannot tag you) — @alexxavicry @hockeyboysarehot @bluesongbird @hopefulwitchcandy @marigoldsworth @liltimmyst @prettysummerbaby @prttydlly @fictionalho @ssprayberrythings @lastwandastan @yejis-biggest-simp

#◜ caitee’𝗌 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗄𝗌 ✎ ˚✧ ꜝ #— 🪼 fics #anon 🪷#xavier thorpe #wednesday netflix #xavier thorpe imagine #xavier thorpe x reader #xavier thorpe fic #xavier thorpe x yn #xavier thorpe x you #xavier thorpe blurb #xavier thorpe x y/n #wednesday imagine #wednesday x reader #reader insert #reader insert fic

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josephtrohman · 16 days

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sorry if you’ve been asked this before, would you be willing to spare some joetrick fic recs? i’m getting super back into them and the bandom so wanted to jump back in with some recs maybe!! (do you still prefer top joe? do you have any toppy patrick? if thats not your bag i don’t mind i’ll honesty take anything you think is well written atp 😁 ty!!!)

i’m sorry it’s taken me a couple days to answer this anon!!! finals got me both tweaking and sleep deprived at the same time somehow. also tho let it be known there is nothing to be sorry for at allllll omg, and there Never is, imagine my inbox as a safe warm place where i’m always here for ANYTHING. anyways, i have answered some joetrick fic recs earlier, here is the link to that post which has my crème de la crème joetrick fics, but i always have more in my back pocket!!! start with that other post’s list tho first for sure!!!! just bc they are THEE BEST. ok gonna put the rest under a break here (including my answers to ur question LOLL) :3

i truthfully have mellowed out when it comes to top/bottom preferences lol (i wonder if ur an og follower and saw my ask from like 2016 that i may have answered more intensely about preferring top joe and oh god the 'bottom patrick network' i was in way back when networks were a thing HDKDJDKDJSJ). i actually really enjoy top patrick/bottom joe in this day and age but there is like. none still. so i dont have much to offer u 💔 but im working on something and so is a fobtwt friend of mine so keep ur eyes peeled!!!

i combed my archive and found u my (very) slim pickings for toppy patrick. which imo is a disgrace and i Have contributed to this pattern of mostly bottom patrick w my fics BUT i hope to change this fact as i have a wip that’s just pwp top patrick/bottom joe maybe coming in the next several months LOLLLL (also my fobtwt friend as i mentioned). but i’ll start with the closest things i can find. i’m gonna break it down with the kind of adjacent to ur request fics First and then give a few more recs after :)

an exploration of the bounds of venus by disloyalorder. this might be the only top patrick pure joetrick smut on ao3 (that i found well-written enough to save at least <3). it’s got a heavy dose of mommy kink/mommy dom stuff so i guess if that’s not ur thing then u really will have to stay tuned for my fic ;) haha

wasted summer by terriblewritings. shoutout to the author for dropping it in my inbox!!! it has the mommy kink too and a liiiiiiittle talk of weight just in an appreciative way idk but a warning; it’s toppy patrick in the sense of dom patrick bc there’s no penetration, but it’s rly good!!! author says there might be more coming too ;3

token by gigantic. this one i found on total accident, i had been digging around on this user’s livejournal because they have two PHENOMENAL wentzman fics up (if u want those recs too lmk) but basically this one is joe on a gay sex mission lol, it is explicit but ofc when u get to the goods (aka the JOETRICK SCENE) it's all fade-to-black instead 💔 but still SOOOOO good so unbelievably well written!!!

i had it listed it in the other rec ask, but bdsm by heyginger has a brief mention of joe riding patrick (not explicit smut tho lol) AND of patrick tying joe up so it feels on the toppy patrick side for sure :)

also for good measure, though patrick is not toppy to JOE in these ones, there are two jeterick fics that feature patrick topping pete while joe does stuff to them etc just maybe to scratch a similar itch? lay your head down -- and feel the beat and two's company, three's just right both by likeasugarcube.

begging all ao3 writers to PLEASEEE write more top patrick/bottom joe joetrick fics i want to read joe get fucked like he deserves <3 ok anyways

and now here r some general recs that aren’t toppy patrick related :)

my tongue is my choir by coricomille. patrick is mute (mixon is their vocalist) and it’s a wonderfully written, very sweet fic!!!

capture the phrases by rosiedoes fic. patrick has a secret admirer in the form of anonymous post it notes. so good<3

expensive mistakes by rosiedoesfic. cute little fic about the insta posts in mania era that had very joetricky captions :')

the cure to growing older by rosiedoesfic. a au fic where joe and patrick have been friends since they were little kids, a very cute growing up together type story :)

message in a bottle by bunnytrohman. a sweet lil getting together fic sent during 2ourdust. saur beautiful and the world needs more fics set in the stardust era imo!!!

take a breath (i know what's behind that door) by thesecondshow. joe checks in on/takes care of patrick right after the we liked you better fat post. really really beautifully written <3 (hai mitch if u see this)

your secret's out by the_seventh_avenger. cute lil fic, honestly hard to summarize with a lil blurb without giving everything away but love it so much!!

alpha dog by bunnytrohman. puppy play joetrick. i needn’t say more READ THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

leaving it there bc looking at my bookmark list there aren't like a TON more that i even really could rec so i'll save those for if someone else asks in another 10 months <3 lol love u anon my inbox (and dms!!! if u wanna reveal urself but no pressure) is always open to discuss these fics or ANYTHING too 💖

#anonymous #asks #fic recs

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shippingfangirl013 · 1 year

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The Cowboy Hat Rule

(Established Steddie & Byler & Jancy & Lumax & Elmax & Henderhop —> basically a mini ficlet with the Party being equestrians. This might make its way into one of my AUs. Idk.)

——————————————————

Eddie knows the cowboy hat rule.

Steve doesn’t.

Steve takes Eddie’s cowboy hat jokingly one night when they’re goofing off and mostly drunk at a bar.

Nancy, Robin, Vickie, Jonathan, and Argyle are hanging out at a quiet high top in the back. Max and El are playing darts, while Max is getting more and more frustrated because El might be cheating and using her powers to hit the bullseye every time.

Lucas, Dustin, Mike, and Will are sat at the bar, watching a more than tipsy Steve shamelessly flirt with their DM.

“Do you think he knows the rule?” Dustin asks, swirling whatever was left of his rather disgusting beer inside of the tall necked bottle.

Lucas rolls his eyes, “Does it look like Steve knows the rule? He just ran off with Eddie’s hat.” He takes a sip of his drink, wrinkling his nose as it burns down his throat.

“I didn’t know about it until Dustin had that, uh encounter, at that bar we went to a few months ago.” Will chimes in, leaning against the bar top to get a better view of Eddie chasing Steve around the bar. “I swore Mike was going to kill the guy because he kept hitting on me after Dustin turned him down,”

“I would have killed him, too.” Mike mutters from next to Will, instinctively grabbing Will’s hand to pull him closer.

Will rolls his eyes, a teasing lilt in his voice, “Well yeah, I knew you would, but I much prefer your jealousy not end up with a man buried six feet underground. I don’t know that I would want to be with an outlaw.”

Mike huffs, mild irritation overcoming him, “I was just trying to protect your honor,” he objects, leaning his chin on Will’s head.

“Mhmm,” Will hums, glancing up at Mike before turning back to say something to Dustin and Lucas.

After a few moments of silence, Mike breaks the quiet again, still not quite over the last encounter involving the hat rule.

“Will, he didn’t even ask if you had a boyfriend!” Mike outbursts, well aware that he is shamelessly whining because he’s jealous. Sue him. He didn’t like it when other people flirted with Will, and he never claimed to not be a bit of a jealous boyfriend.

“What if he was some weirdo that just tried to hit on you and then murdered you if you had said yes to going home with him?” Mike argues.

Will makes a noncommittal hum in response, as he leaned his head on Mike’s chest, the buzz of alcohol warming his body. Will wasn’t going to complain, in all honesty, he found it a bit amusing that even after months of being together, Mike was still a little jealous.

“You know, I wouldn’t ever leave you, right?” Will mumbles.

“Not even for Dustin?” Lucas interrupts the couple’s private moment, as is the usual when the Party goes out together.

“William, if you’d leave me for Dustin, I’d leave you for Lucas - and that’s never going to happen.” Mike says as he flips Lucas off.

“Well,” Will replies, pretending to think it over, “Dustin is possibly the nicest person I know, and he’d be the best boyfriend because he pays attention and he doesn’t forget to come to Vet appointments for his horse,”

“That was one time!” Mike all but yells, flabbergasted that Will would actually consider leaving him for Dustin, but equally as horrified at the prospect of dating Lucas who is also dating Max who is also dating El who is also dating Dustin.

Lucas blows a kiss at Mike, as Mike glowers at their best friends… and if Will noticed Mike’s hold on him tighten a little bit, he doesn’t say anything to indicate that he’s uncomfortable.

“Besides, you ride hunt seat! You didn’t even have a cowboy hat on, you had your baseball cap on,” Mike mutters to Will, keeping his voice quiet enough that the others can’t hear.

Will laughs lightly, because of course Mike Wheeler is the most jealous person he knows, but only when it comes to Will… and Will often finds it at least little endearing.

“The hat rule applies to cowboy hats for the most part, but sometimes it’s modified to baseball caps,” Will points out, before placing a kiss on the back of Mike’s hand, lacing their fingers together.

Mike huffs in slight irritation, before his focus shifts to the older crowd of adults with them.

“Stevie, come on, can I have my hat back?” Eddie all but whines.

Steve had been running around with Eddie’s hat for nearly fifteen minutes, and Eddie is seriously regretting dating a jock that did track growing up. Who knew Steve Harrington could run around that fast while drunk?

“Steve, please just give me the hat back, babe,” Eddie asks again, walking towards a drunken Steve as if he’s approaching a wounded animal.

“No, Munson, I like your hat. I think I want to keep it on, sorry.” Steve grins, making finger guns at Eddie.

——

“I’m shocked no one told him the hat rule,” Nancy mutters, shaking her head.

“Oh, and you know the hat rule, Wheeler?” Jonathan asks, quirking an eyebrow at his girlfriend.

“Jonathan, I’ve been riding horses since I was seven, and I’m not new to the mounted shooting scene, you get hit on at a few bars, and you figure it out.” Nancy shoots back, leaning her head against his shoulder. He shrugs, moving to lean his own head against hers.

“Maybe we should have told Steve about the hat rule before he got drunk. . .” Vickie chimes in, her finger drawing patterns on the lacquered wood of the high top table.

“No way, this is so much funnier!” Robin says, watching as Eddie finally retrieves his hat from his boyfriend.

“Hey, Eddie!” Max yells from the dart board, “isn’t the rule that you have to fight or ride the person that stole your hat?”

El is beside Max, nearly doubled over in laughter.

“Ride it like you stole it, and all, right?” Max grins at Eddie as he sends her his most withering glare.

“Really, I hate all of you.” Eddie gripes, adjusting his hat, and helping his very drunk boyfriend back to their spot at the high top.

———

“Hypothetically, if anyone ever tries to take your hat, would you let me challenge them to an old fashioned duel?” Mike’s breath is warm against Will’s ear, he shudders in the warmth of the bar, and it feels as if his every nerve has been set on fire. He shifts out of Mike’s grasp for a moment, to look at his boyfriend, puzzled as to why the topic is still being discussed.

“Okay, but, Mike, first off I’m not dating an outlaw. No matter how endearingly jealous you may be, I don’t want to marry a criminal. And second, you’ve never shot a gun in your life?” Will means to say it as a statement, but it comes out as more of a question. He’s almost certain that in the years he’s known Mike, Mike has never shot a gun, let alone a dueling pistol.

“Growing up with Nancy doing mounted shooting has its perks,” Mike shrugs, turning his face into his shoulder to try to hide the red tinge coming over his face.

He takes a sip of his water before turning back to Will.

(I’m probably adding to this later, but that’s as good as it’s getting so far. I’ve been in a bit of a writers block funk lately, but wanted to try adding to this idea.)

@punkharringtxn I’ve had this idea in my head for weeks since you posted about Appalachian!Eddie and well… I keep ending up on cowboy TikTok so, I felt this was a necessary addition.

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aplaceforthesoul · 10 months

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Anonymous submitted:

29f here hi there, I started to "officially" date my boyfriend bout a year ago. Im really happy with him. I adore him, and our relationship is amazing. I had never been in a commited relationship before, and there is a small thing that has been bothering me lately. I m not a jealous at all, I have never been like this, yet I feel worried about him and his exgf. It all starts when we first met... when we met they werr together and we were not even friends (my bf and me) and then "they broke up" or thats what he said. We started going put as friends and then went on a trip together... we started being friends with benefits after he asured me he was no longer in a relationship with this person. Well turns out one day I was at the beach and I saw them together.he didnt even speak to me. Then he said she still lived in his house bc she was broke and unemployed and that he took her to the beach "cos she wanted to go". We were not a couple just friendswb ... so yeah I distanced myself bc I didnt want to be w someone with a gf... ok so fast forward. After a month or so he calls me to tell me she trashed his house bc he asked her to leave. So another month ... we start dating. I decided to Just let go of that bc we were not even together. Everything is great and he is like my bestfriend. BUT this lady has messaged him twice.1st saying he saw us together at the beach he didnt answer. 2nd to tell him she was over him and that she was dating sb el se. And he answered hope u r doing well ... like this bothered me ... cos a guy that i was seeing in the past also messaged me and i was like mm yeah idc ... anything else?... bc i genuinely dont care. ...We have a fb Page of a bussines we started together. The ex often watches stories reels and Leaves reacts here and there but doesnt follow said Page. She blocked a friend of mine bc she thinks she is the actual gf... she doesnt even Know it is me ... but like this shit is toxic. And I now DO belive what he told me about them not being together and him lettting her stay out of pity, bc he often allows ppl to take advantage of him and doesnt set boundaries. This worries me bc im scared she might try sth w him and he May accept bc of this.it also fills me w doubts about HIM having moved on from her. Idk how to approach this wo sounding crazy. I already told him about the fb thing and her blocking my friend and he just says ah yeah .but i dont know how to tell him about my concerns. Hope you could help me. I feel very anxious and like this could be a thing that could ruin the relationship and trust

Hi there. It's understandable that you feel anxious since it seems to be a messy situation. It does not seem like a healthy relationship to me :c

It seems to me that a lot of focus has been put on him and his ex but not you. Have you asked yourself what you want from the relationship and from him? Are you happy being in this relationship/ situation?

As an adult, I think your bf needs to take accountability as he continues letting things happen (even if he no longer has feelings for her). If you are not happy with how things are going, perhaps it's best to find a time when you and him are both calm to have a face-to-face convo

You may approach the conversation by stating your observations and feelings without any criticism or judgment (This link about four components to the Nonviolent Communication (NVC) model, may help). Tell him calmly how the situation (him letting his exgf take advantage of him) makes you feel uncomfortable and you would like to see if boundaries can be put up.

I can also feel that you feel insecure about this relationship as you worried that she may steal him away. Trust and honesty are important qualities of a healthy romantic relationship. Currently, it seems to me that you do not feel secure about your place in the relationship and his behaviours. Apart from talking to him regarding the situation, perhaps try putting the focus back on yourself? Engage in your hobbies, hang out with friends and family or join a new community? When you focus on yourself more, you will have less time to worry about him. You are loved regardless of his feelings for you. You are valued no matter how he treats you. <3

There is also no certain way to know if he/ she was lying. You can only do what's best for you in this situation. Please always take care of yourself first!

Love,

Sammi

#anon submitted #submission #29f #bf #exgf #fwb #relationship

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10piecechickenmcnugget · 10 months

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I think I missed the honesty hour time frame but I just have a little question

Do you think there's a chance I might be neurodivergent? I've been looking into the possibility for the past few months and I wanted to potentially get an outsider opinion.

Sorry if this is worded weirdly, I'm so tired from my siblings running around for a few hours, I can provide clarification or explain something if needed! - Indigo (who feels more comfortable on anon for the moment)

I legitimately didn’t know you were unsure (but I assume all my friends are neurodivergent since most of them are ;-; sorry) (I’m genuinely more surprised if people I know aren’t neurodivergent cause I forget neurotypical people exist)

I’m not a doctor obviously but yeah maybe, it’s probably one of the reasons we get along so well too

I’m not gonna straight up diagnose you with anything but idk we seem kinda similar in certain ways and I’ve learned that 99% of my character traits are Symptoms

I also might be a little quick to jump the gun here, a couple years ago one of my friends kinda helped me self diagnose with a lot of stuff, and since then the two of us have done that to multiple other people just based off our own experiences

#if you want to elaborate or keep talking I’d be happy to help you out!#I’m not perfect at this kind of thing but I’d say I know a decent amount #I have diagnosed adhd and self-diagnosed autism so (on top of other things)#10piecetalks

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meechdoucet · 6 months

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Time Always Moves Forward

Fuck. I just realized that. It's crazy cuz I remember three years ago around this time making ratpiss w finn & quarantine and all that hibbie jibbie jibber jabber. in all honesty, when I think back on the last 3 years of my life it feels like its all a blur. Like a time bandit just came thru and stole pieces of my life. 2021 is a distant memory to me and I honestly couldn't tell you what most of that year entailed, at least off the dome. 2022 I only remember the first half quite honestly the second half I was too high all the time to tell you what happened during that first semester of junior year. And now this year is almost over and I'm facing graduation in a couple months. Crazy. It's people I grew up with that I might never see again in life and that's a crazy fact to me. I wanna graduate,don't get me wrong,I can't wait to leave this godforsaken excuse of a "city", but fuck I can't help but low-key start to already feel nostalgic. It's like when you're on the last episode of ur favorite show. U wanna end the show and say you finished it and move on,but also it's like damn I don't get to watch any new episodes of the show anymore and it's fr over. That bittersweet type thing

Anyways, to update w me as of late,I've been okay. Idk, kinda just going thru the motions of life and stuff. I been making music, I like this girl, I got good grades like life isn't treating me too badly right now.

Some music I been listening to as of late

#diary entry #aesthetic #writing #Spotify

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moregorelore · 11 months

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I can't say this anywhere so might as well put it on my Tumblr that I just back into after not being on it sense high-school.

About 8 months ago at my old job we got a new manager and he was a small obnoxious older man that had to much energy that majorly got on my nerves, but for some reason I took to him instantly and started tell him things that I barely could admit to myself let alone tell some else, and him same with me, he told me some of the things he's shared with me that only 2 other people knew. I adored that, I adored the connection and attention and care. And in all honesty at first it was just that, there was no real attraction there, yeah we talked about sex and fetishes and preferences but that's where it stopped.

About 4 months ago he lost that job for reasons I'd rather not get into and about 2 months ago I quit that same job because he wasnt there and I was tired of doing so much with so little in return. And we continued talking. Calling and playing video games for hours and when we'd get bored of that we'd start a show or movie and made sure to start and stop it at the exact same time so neither of missed anything and we could experience it together, fuck we even would take the headset into the bathroom so could continue having whatever weird ass conversation we were having.

But something dawned on me a couple weeks ago and I can't get it out of my head. I love him. And when I say that I don't just want to fuck him and I don't just want some shitty little friends with benefits ive had so many times. I really love him and want to be with him. I want to wake up in the morning and see his face and I want his face to be the last thing I see at night, I want to wake up early and make him breakfast just to see that goofy little shy smile, I want him. And for once the sex would just be an added benefit but isn't even a necessity.

But here's were the issues start, I'm gay and Trans (ftm), he is a straight cis man.i have daddy issues, he has mommy issues. I am 22, he is 33.

Those are just the major ones that stand out.

I don't know what to do. I want to tell him how I feel but I don't think I could stand losing him over something so trival because at the end of the day I really just enjoy him and his company.

Idk If someone could give me even just a little advice I would greatly appreciate it

#older guy #advice #ftm #dating #please help #transgender

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maeroxlove · 1 year

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04.21.23

As soon as you responded to my messages, I knew something was wrong. I felt like my heart was going to explode out of my chest. I messaged a friend, asking if they were home, because I thought you were going to break up with me. I wasn’t wrong.

I appreciate the honesty and consideration, but it really really sucks to confirm that our relationship was one sided. You’re the first thing I think of when I wake up, who I think of throughout the day, and who I imagine I’m hugging while I hug Mr. Pillow. But at the end of the day, you love me as a friend. You can’t picture introducing me to your family or marriage with me. It hurts. I love you so much and thought that we could maybe take this relationship more serious after the move - that’s when we could spend more time together in person, but you never gave us the chance.

Logically, I am 100% okay with this outcome. If you don’t love me, then you don’t love me. That’s okay. I hope that one day you will find someone you truly love - as I had told you from the very start. It’s ironic because I ended my last relationship after 2 months of realizing I did not want to marry him and now it’s come full circle. Emotionally, I am beyond a train wreck.

You say you have no regrets on your end, but I do regret this relationship. We both knew at the start that I liked you wayyy more than you liked me. Had I known that you would only continue to like me shallowly, I would have never wanted to start this relationship. I went through hell just getting to the point where we became official and now I am going through hell trying to cope with the reality of our relationship.

When I’m extremely sad, I can’t eat or sleep. What I didn’t know was that I would cry uncontrollably for 16 hours. I have never had continuous streams of tears like that in my life. I didn’t know that I wouldn’t be able to breathe the first night and gasp for air. I didn’t realize that shallow breathing for hours would cause me to become so nauseous, I had to sit at my toilet and focus on my breathing - focus on not crying. I didn’t know that for the next couple of days, everything in my sight felt foreign, my bed felt the smallest it’s ever been and my abdomen was sore from all the gut wrenching crying.

I closed our dms so I won’t be tempted to read them and I deleted all the photos of you so I won’t be tempted to look at them. I do still want to be friends with you, but I need time. Time to forget your face. Time to forget your voice. Time to forget what it’s like to love someone so dearly. I’m afraid that if I hear your voice too soon, the uncontrollable crying will start again.

As time does go by, I do admit that I’m tempted to just slowly disappear from the group. I promised I wouldn’t just pull an Ashley, but I don’t know if my feelings will truly 100% go away. It would be so much easier if I just disappeared and didn’t have anything still connected to you. Speaking of which - I will be donating the bracelet. As much as I love the perfume, I will definitely need to throw it out. The backpack? Might keep idk. I just don’t want to cling onto any memories or physical gifts that you’ve given me.

So here goes the next couple of months where I will decide if I will be able to stay or need to leave the group, when I will move to Toronto, and whether I move in with Chia or find my own place. One thing I know for sure is that I hope I never fall in love again for the rest of my life.

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neocrush · 3 years

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— the girl groups enhypen’s gfs are in !

genre: fluff (angst on jungwon’s part) + established relationship (eventually lol)

pairings: idol!enhypen x fem!idol!reader

note: idk how to title this pls i thought of it while showering

tagging: @jeminiepabo @strwberrydinosaur

you just finished performing and your members were in need of water bottles

but fucking mnet didn’t provide any inside of your dressing room??

so yves told you to ask for some from the artist in the dressing room next to yours

you knocked on the door without looking at the sign that showed who was in there

you asked for some water bottles and heeseung went “i’ll go get it!” and ran off to go get get them

jungwon just chuckled and went “hyung’s a really huge fan of your group, he kept on singing star on the way here”

you nodded at the younger one, impressed at the fact that you were popular among idols

the tall boy came back with a whole box full of water bottles

“there’s 12 of you here right now so i figured why not get a whole box” he chuckled nervously

you giggled and smiled at the nervous boy

“thank you heeseung-ssi, i’ll take this to my members” you took the box in your hands but was taken aback on how heavy it was

“don’t worry i’ll carry it for you”

long after that you started hanging out and boom you became his gf

you couldn’t resist the charms of lee heeseung

once it was revealed that you were a couple, orbits and engenes went INSANE (in a good way ofc)

“wait so y/n DOESNT hate men????”

★ jay - aespa

OMG OMG LEMME TELL YOU ABOUT THIS BBY

you both met at school after you both debuted

everyone was gossiping around about how you were in the same class with the enhas

so like... monster rookies class

usually idols aren’t seated together but the teacher seated you and jay next to each other

causing a bunch of “oooohhhs” from your classmates

there were times were you and the enhas would leave school early due to practice or schedules

and on the way to the school gate, jay would always spark up a conversation with you

you assumed he was just very friendly

long story short he had a massive crush on you

so a few months into your friendship (which the both of you were very open about with your fans), he confesses

you were like “WAIT SO IT WASNT ONE SIDED THE WHOLE TIME”

y’all were just really blind lol pls read between the lines

anyways on to ur lovely bf !!

he’s so bold and brave around you but so shy around your members and seniors

we all know how he really respects nct (along with other sm artists) bc he covered the 7th sense with sunghoon on iland

so one day you were like “oh btw i showed taeyong sunbae you and hoon’s t7s cover”

he was like 😟 to 😧 to 😯

got all shy and was like “oh what did he say..”

you don’t know why he was acting as if he didn’t body that whole performance ????

anyway you told him that taeyong said that he and hoon did really well and that he liked how jay did his part

hid his face on the crook of your neck

“baby we should come say hi to them next time you go to sm”

“NO i will make a fool out of myself”

speaks english and japanese with giselle a lot when he isn’t occupied with you

sometimes you’d even have to ask nct’s shotaro to translate

your seniors (especially exo’s kai) adore him so so much pls protect the boy at all costs

★ jake - everglow

he was an active viewer of produce 48 and (like me) was really attached to the yuehua trainees

especially you

so when you got eliminated just before the last episode, he was devastated to say the least

he awaited your debut and when the time came he supported everglow !!!!

LOVED BON BON CHOCOLAT SO MUCH

does the killing part choreo in his room when no one’s watching lol

dies everytime you do the little “everglow” in songs

right so when he debuted in enha, he looked forward to meeting you as an idol and not a fan

when you shared a dressing room at kcontact, he couldn’t help but introduce himself to you

he mentioned he was a big fan and your heart warmed

cute boy is a fan of you? omg heart go brr brr

your members tease you and you just shake it off

that day when you got back to the dorms, you watched a bunch of enhypen videos bc you were interested in jake

you weren’t aware of how popular you were among people - let alone idols so you were surprised

you fell in love with his personality and started saying hi to him whenever you meet backstage at music shows

not long after, you develop feelings for him

you thought it was just a puppy crush but as you saw him even more, it got serious

you never actually confessed but aisha accidentally spilled the beans when he was passing by

“cmon y/n just tell him you like him because he clearly feels the same !!”

“you like me?”

“AISHA”

“that’s my queue to leave”

so she leaves you two to pour your hearts out to each other

you two become a couple and forevergenes (such a cute name omg) LOVE you two

you’re both the puppies of your group so that makes your relationship 103892x cuter

you met his parents and they adore you and even asked for your autograph

“jake used to talk about how great you are after every produce 48 episode”

“okayyyy i think that’s enough embarassing me mom”

his parents love you like their own daughter but does layla love you?

you were so nervous to meet her and was actually scared she might not like you - knowing how important layla is to jake

at first layla ignored you and jake was like “she’ll come around”

you were convinced she just doesn’t like you, until this one time you were cuddling with jake on the couch and layla comes in

you expected her to snuggle up with jake but she came to you :D

now layla is super fond of you and mrs sim would even send you pictures and videos of layla getting excited whenever you were on tv 🥺

★ sunghoon - itzy

you and the girls were at isac

the six of you were just waving at your fans and making heart signs with your hearts

on your left you saw yeji making hearts with ryujin so you wanted to do that with another member too

you felt a presence next to you and assumed it was someone from your group

spoiler alert: it wasn’t

sunghoon and sunoo were waving at engenes who just happened to be seated next to midzys

so you turned to who you thought was an itzy member, making half a heart with your hand

until you realized it wasn’t 💀

you bowed and apologized when you both looked at each other, you were scared you crossed a boundary

you bowed and apologized to the engenes who were there too

sunghoon and sunoo reassured you it was all good

after that, sunghoon couldn’t help but keep his eyes on you the entire event

when the day was coming to an end, he pulled some strings and ended up having some alone time with you ...in stray kids’ dressing room

don’t ask

ofc skz already left so it was just you two there

fast forward, you both hit it off and he became your bf <3

midzys and engenes love you both sm and love bragging about you two to other fandoms

you two were even named the king and queen of 4th gen kpop

oh also

you already know where this is going

“SUNGHOON HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW NOT SHY’S PROPER TITLE IT’S YOUR GIRLFRIEND’S SONG” - jay

brags about how he can do the shoulder dance in wannabe

ofc it’s bc you personally taught him

sends you pics of jyp as reaction pics

so you send pics of bang pdnim to him

every once in a while he reminds you of that video of jay why pee trying to hit a high note

“lmao that’s your boss”

PLS you always get super embarrassed so ofc you bring up that vid of hitman bang

“rAp dAncE-“

★ sunoo - stayc

you were his seatmate at school predebut

you came from the same town, same school, same neighborhood, etc

the two of you were extremely close and both shared the same dream

when highup entertainment accepted you, the both of you were over the moon

he was so happy for you

but sad too bc that meant you had to move to seoul :(

you promised him to do your best and that you hoped to see him again but as an idol

and hopefully when he’s an idol too

well what you hoped for came true !!

although you couldn’t see him much as a trainee - which made you quite sad - you got to follow his journey on i-land

you even asked your fellow trainees to vote for him

anyways now that you both debuted, you became close again and became really open with your fans on how close you were

you recommended his songs to swiths and he did the same to engenes

he even memorized the choreo to so bad and asap and lemme tell you this

he BEGGED you to teach him those choreos

“sunoo you can watch the practice on youtube”

“but i want to learn it from you”

he never really realized his feelings until he saw you getting shipped with his other members

you were both on weekly idol and the hosts really seemed to like how you and jake looked next to each other and they just teased you both the whole episode

that made sunoo feel uneasy and he thought it was only bc he was an overprotective best friend

turns out he had feelings for you (wow shocker)

so one day he asks you to come to hybe

after slightly getting lost, you meet up with him in a practice room

he confesses bc he felt like not telling you about his feelings would put a wall between you two

you appreciate his honesty and tell him you’ve felt the same way every since you were classmates

he scolds himself for not seeing it all those years but you just laugh it off bc you were pretty good at hiding your crush

you both agree to secretly date, until you both announce it on your five month anniversary

fans were really shocked at first... but they support you !!!!

engenes will not hesitate to come at anyone who talks bad about you and swiths feels the same way about jungwon

he gushes about you every single time you’re brought up

and you can’t help but love your adorable boyfriend

★ jungwon - iz*one

okay so

he was just an average high schooler when you were introduced on produce 48

his deskmate was watching your audition video and it was the part where you were doing this freestyle

he was SO amazed and he secretly followed your journey on produce 48

always made sure to vote on time and watch the episodes live

once the debut evaluation came around, he asked everyone he knew to vote for you and even bought tickets to see the show live

almost cried when he saw that you were center

ACTUALLY CRIED when you got into the top 13 😭

fast forward to him debuting in enha

he wasn’t able to catch up on you since he was busy with trainee life, then i-land, then debut preparations

but somehow in the middle of promotions he ran into you and BOOM love at first sight

fast forward to you finally dating, he couldn’t believe he was dating the y/n of iz*one

wizones make those “ladies and gentlemen, y/n’s man” edits and engenes make those “ladies and gentlemen, jungwon’s woman” edits

both fandoms love you two so dearly that the only hate you two got were from the delusional ones (who clearly aren’t actual fans)

when your last concert came around, he couldn’t bare seeing you cry when you said “this has been iz*one’s y/n, thank you everyone!”

he got flashbacks from when you cried during the final episode of produce 48 and he’s just.. sobbing bc he couldn’t be there to hold you

so the next day he rushed to your dorms with snacks and emotional support bc you were emotionally exhausted from accepting the fact that your journey with iz*one is finally ending

you felt extremely lucky to be in his arms and he felt extremely lucky too that he’s able to make you feel a little better

★ riki - weeekly

you were both on weekly weeekly idol together

and both you and riki being main dancers, you were asked to do random dance together

a few popular songs played and the both of you did the choreos

until after school started playing and the boy did the chorus’ choreo and you were like “woah???”

bc he was so INTO ITTTT

the song was basically made for him to cover it

and the mcs saw your reaction so they asked him to do it once again but this time with the whole group

after filming, he came up to you and was like “i’m a huge fan of yours” and you’re just like ):&/£]>\**_£]

“woah really???? i rooted for you on i-land”

and his face just lights up bc his huge crush on you developed even more

you became besties since then but he didn’t ask you out until your birthday

he took you out to a puppy café, knowing you were obsessed with dogs

you’d ask him to show you pictures and videos of bisco

“i better meet bisco once we go to japan together”

melted at the thought of traveling to his hometown with you

anyways

once you left the café, he kissed you in front of your dorms

and somehow he became your boyfriend <3

riki as a bf isn’t really a very public person

he’s the “this is our relationship, not the public’s” type of person

he doesn’t wanna risk companies wanting to exploit your relationship

although he doesn’t talk about you two much, he loves to brag about you when given the chance

whenever variety show hosts would fawn over you he’d just look them in the eyes dead and go “she’s mine”

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softrenjunnie · 3 years

Text

4 am l ljy

pairing: gn!reader x fake boyfriend!juyeon

characters: juyeon, hyunjae

genre: angst?, fluff, fake dating!au

word count: 1.1k words

warnings: mentions of crying but that’s it i think

request: CONGRATS ON GRADUATING!! youve worked really hard and a bright future awaits you!!💕 I would like to requesr for a Juyeon fake dating with promt number 29 🌟 thank you ❤❤ - from anon

note: uhhhhh not sure how i feel about this... i had an idea kinda like this a while ago so i thought “lets put it into this request!!” but then failed. so idk, i might post something similar in a while when i figure it out. anywho, i hope you all have a good day and eat something delicious, you deserve it <3

you drank a few sips from your tea, letting the warmth of the drink spread across your body. you shifted your position a bit and pulled your legs in to your body, to try to fit all of your body underneath the soft blanket. you were currently sitting on the couch in juyeon and hyunjae’s shared apartment, a big cup of chamomile tea in your hands as you gaze out through the big window in front of you. the apartment was at the second to top floor, and the building was quite tall, so you had a nice view of the entire city. one could say that you were up very early, considering the fact that it was currently 4am, but you would say that it was late - since you had not yet fallen asleep.

you had gotten out of bed just a mere half hour ago, when you had finally admitted to yourself that you wouldn’t be able to fall asleep without doing something. your mind was too crowded, and your thoughts too messy. so you once again found yourself sneaking out of juyeon’s bed and coming here to overlook the city just pre-sunrise.

you heard a sound behind you, and instantly turned your head to the direction where it had come from - right outside the door leading to juyeon’s bedroom. and there he stood, in his usual pyjama pants, rubbing his eyes while letting a yawn escape from his lips. “did i wake you up? i’m so sorry,” you say, voice low to not accidentally wake hyunjae.

“it’s fine,” he answers, walking over to you and sitting down on the other side of the couch. “how are you feeling?”

you shrug, looking away from him and out through the window again. “not sure.”

“you’ve been crying again, haven’t you?”

your eyes dart back at him. you’re not wearing any makeup, so you know he couldn’t tell it from a messy mascara, and it’s been a while since you stopped crying now so your eyes are likely not red any longer. you don’t know how he does it, but he reads you so well. it’s like you’re an open book, even though everyone has always told you that you are the exact opposite. it’s like he understands every single thought you have, and many people would just blame it on the fact that you’ve been dating for so long now - except, you haven’t. you’ve been fake dating.

you and juyeon have been good friends for a couple of years now, having met when you first started college, and there had never been any romantic feelings between you two. not even the flirty kind of banter friends can have that makes their other friends sure they’re gonna get together; which is why all your friends were shocked to hear that you were dating all of the sudden.

juyeon’s best friend hyunjae had made fun of him once, telling him that he would never be able to have the same partner for over a year - so the boys made a bet. and you had for as long as you could remember been nagged on by your parents about never finding a partner. so you and juyeon came together, and made a deal; you would fake date each other for one year, so juyeon could win his bet, and so you could have someone to bring to family gatherings to please your parents.

you just hadn’t expected to fall for juyeon in the meantime, and you never thought you’d end up wishing those 12 months went by slower.

just a few months into the deal, you had started noticing the smaller things about juyeon. like how he acts towards his younger brother, how he treats his friends, how he takes care of you even though there’s nothing between you other than a deal. it made you grow fonder of him - and you started to like him for real.

you didn’t answer, and you didn’t need to - he already knew the answer. “is it me?”

you tilted your head, your eyebrows furrowed. “what?”

“am i the reason you cry at night? when you think i’m asleep?”

you sighed, taking a sip from your tea to calm your nerves. “i...” you pause. “i don’t know, i guess so.”

juyeon’s gaze was worried, and he pulled a hand through his hair. “please, talk to me. tell me how you feel.”

you were sure you wouldn’t get anything out of this situation if you told the truth. he’d only laugh at you, or feel bad for you, before leaving you once again. yet, something inside of you urged you to tell the truth. “i wish we didn’t have to end this next month.”

you were surprised at your own honesty, and seemingly so was juyeon. but he didn’t laugh, and he didn’t look like he felt bad for you. “neither do i.”

your jaw dropped in surprise and your eyes widened. “what?”

“are you really that oblivious?” you rolled your eyes at him, but there was a grin slowly creeping up over his lips. “i’ve been giving you hints for such a long time now.”

you paused for a moment, not sure what to say. “i- you’re not as easy to read as i apparently am!”

“okay, okay,” he laughed, moving a bit closer to you and cupping your cheek with one of his hands. “i like you. i don’t want our relationship to be fake anymore.” you closed your eyes, not daring to look at him. “was that clear enough?”

you nodded, your lips curving upwards into a smile. “yeah.”

he took you by surprise as he leaned forward, pressing his lips onto yours. you had kissed before, when trying to prove yourselves to be a real couple to other people, but this was different. this was a kiss shared between two people who liked each other, who also knew that the other liked them, and it felt so much better. when you pulled away, you were both grinning like idiots.

“you think you’ll be able to sleep now, then?” he asked, and you faked a gasp.

“oh, you only did this so that you could go back to sleep?” you mocked, still smiling. juyeon stuck out his tongue at you.

“yes. so can we, please?”

you nodded quickly, placing your cup of (now cold) tea on the coffee table, right before he took your hand in his and pulled you along to his bedroom again.

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real-work-of-art · 4 years

Text

Golden

A self indulgent story ft. a very soft boyfriend!h

A/N: Wow, I feel like I am going to throw up. I wrote this a couple weeks ago, with honestly no real intention to post it. But with all these golden music video rumors, now just felt like the perfect time. So here it is! This never would have happened without the kindness and encouragement from @for-fucks-sake-h, @andwhenshesays, @idk-who-she-is, and @smokeinherperfume. And a very special thank you to @oh-honey-styles who read through every small piece of progress and encouraged me practically every single day for the past two weeks. I love you all! Anyway, here is my first ever official piece of writing. I hope you enjoy it!

Word count: 1.7k

She is beautiful. The way she is curled up on the couch, legs pulled up to her chest, hands pressed between her face and the pillow. Harry sits across the room watching as her eyelashes lightly press against her cheeks and her shoulders move slowly with each inhale. The sunlight is casting a slight golden hue around the room. She was almost too bright for him.

He sits there in complete awe—watching her rest so peacefully. He wonders what she might be dreaming of. Because ever since they met, he only dreams of her.

Quickly, he stands up from his chair, and walks out of the room, careful not to make too much noise. Entering his bedroom, he walks straight towards the built in bookshelves to the right and grabs his camera off the shelf, quickly checking to make sure it’s charged.

Harry slowly tiptoes back into the living room, stopping behind the couch to make sure she is still asleep. As he peers down at her, he desperately wants to reach down and move the stray piece of hair that has fallen across her face, but he resists out of fear of ruining the moment. Instead he holds his camera up to his face, adjusting the settings and snapping his first picture. She stirs slightly at the sound of the camera's shutter but remains asleep.

Harry walks around the couch, back to the chair across from her. He snaps a couple more photos, changing the angles and adjusting his focus, trying to catch the way the soft light of the setting sun drapes over her face.

After taking at least a dozen photos he starts to look through them, surprised that his amature photography skills were actually able to capture the beautiful image in front of him.

As he flicks through each photo on his camera he hears a soft shuffling coming from the direction of the couch. Looking up he sees her eyes still closed, arms and legs stretching along the couch. He quickly tucks the camera into the drawer of the side table next to his chair.

As she opens her eyes she sees Harry looking right back at her with a gentle smile on his face.

“Hello beautiful,” Harry softly speaks.

She smiles softly back in his direction, closing her eyes again.

“Hi,” she mumbles.

Again, she opens her eyes slowly, immediately catching his gaze. She stretches her arms out in a silent invitation for him to come join her in the small sliver of space on the couch. She’s desperate to feel the comfort of his warm body against hers. Harry slowly stands and takes the few steps over to the couch. Grabbing her hand, he gently pulls her up so he can better fit himself against her. With her head now resting on top of Harry's arm and her right knee slotted between his, she looks up at his face. Her eyes first gaze over his chin, admiring the slightly grown out facial hair. Slowly scanning upwards taking in the soft rosey color of his lips, noticing the slight sunburn on his nose from being out on the boat earlier, and finally catching his green eyes.

“Wish I could take a picture of you,” she whispers.

A quick zip of panic rushes up Harry’s spine, making his back stiffen up slightly. Does she know? Searching her face for any sign that she’s hinting at something, he realizes all he sees is genuine admiration. He relaxes into her, leaning down to press his lips softly against hers. It’s a gentle kiss filled with so many unsaid declarations of happiness and love.

Pulling away she looks back up, meeting his eyes that are already staring into hers. “I’m hungry,” she mumbles.

Throwing his head back, Harry lets out a loud laugh, always finding her honesty and poor timing incredibly endearing.

“Well let's get you something to eat then,” he says bringing his eyes back to hers, a huge smile spread across his face.

9 months later

Harry was putting the finishing touches on his dinner spread. Tonight they were celebrating their one year anniversary. Well, one year of knowing each other at least. But since Harry travels so much, he tries to take advantage of any celebration he can with her.

They opted for a relaxing dinner at home, where they could be comfortable and focused on only each other. Harry put himself in charge of preparing the whole evening. So after lunch he surprised her with an afternoon at the spa, having to push her out the door just a little bit.

While she was out, Harry got busy trying to make their night special. Cooking a simple but delicious pasta dish, hanging up some gold and silver decorations he found in the garage, and formally setting the dining table with their favorite red wine. On their trip to Italy last month they became obsessed with this wine, which resulted in her trying to fit as many bottles as she could into her luggage.

Pouring the wine into their glasses, Harry hears the faint sound of the front door opening and closing. Looking at the clock on the oven, he smiles to himself. “Right on time,” he mumbles under his breath while walking to the door with an excited hop in his step.

“Hello love,” he greets her, wrapping her up in his arms and placing a kiss to her forehead. “How was the spa?”

“Mmm, could have stayed there all day,” she says into his chest. Slowly moving her head so her chin is resting against his cross necklace, her eyes meeting his. “Thank you,” she says, reaching up to place a quick kiss to his lips.

Smiling down at her, he unwraps his arms, grabbing her hand to lead her into the dinning room. Her eyes dance around every detail in the room. From the beautifully set table to the shimmery decorations, her eyes can’t seem to focus on one thing.

“Wow Harry. It’s beautiful,” she beams while leaning into his side.

“Come on, let’s celebrate,” Harry says, taking her hand and leading her to the table. Grabbing their wine glasses, he hands one to her.

Raising his glass to hers. “To one year,” he says, smiling and tapping their glasses together.

After finishing dinner they continue to sit around the table, drinking wine while laughing and sharing their favorite memories over the last year. She was currently laughing at Harry’s dramatic retelling of the time she forgot she had invited him over for dinner and a movie, before they had officially started dating. She answered the door in a bubbling face mask and eyes as wide as the pepperonis on the mostly eaten pizza in her living room.

As her laughs start to die down, Harry looks at her with a smile that makes his eyes crinkle at the corners. She eventually makes eye contact with him again and they just look at each other, smiling like idiots and absorbing the other’s happiness.

“I have a gift for you,” Harry says breaking the silence.

“What?! Another one?!”

Harry simply nods while releasing a quiet “Mhm,” and slowly standing up.

“Okay now I’m starting to feel bad. The only gift I had planned for you was a pretty amazing blow job followed by some equally amazing sex.”

Harry looks back at her with raised eyebrows and amusement dancing in his eyes. “Now those are two gifts I am very excited for.” He leans down to place a kiss to her lips before walking out of the dining room.

Sitting up straight, she places her wine glass on the table and straightens her top. Popping his head in from around the corner, he flashes his bright smile at her. “Close your eyes,” he instructs.

With a silly smile, she closes her eyes. She hears Harry walk back into the room and around her chair. She could feel him standing across from her. She raises one eyebrow, hoping he is watching her, to tell him she is getting a little impatient.

Harry speaks in a silky smooth voice, “Ok… open your eyes.”

She opens them slowly, first focusing on his face before looking down at the two picture frames held in his hands. She takes in a small gasp at the warm golden images of her. Instantly her mind transports her back to that afternoon. She had accidentally fallen asleep on the couch while Harry brought in the bags and towels they had brought for their day on the boat. She remembers how gorgeous he looked when she woke up from her nap. How the sun was shining into the room, casting a bronze hue around them, and the white curtains blowing with the wind.

She stands up from her chair, taking a step closer to him, and slowly running her finger tips along the frames.

“Harry... these are beautiful.” She could feel her cheeks starting to heat up and the prickle in the back of her eyes becoming stronger. She rarely ever cries, and is fighting back the feeling to do so right now. This is how Harry sees her, glowing and radiant. She looks up into his eyes, but before she could speak Harry interjects. “I just wanted a reminder of how beautiful you are. Then I realized how incredible these would look in the living room, and how much they make me smile. I wanted to share that with you.”

Placing her hand at the back of his neck, she reaches up to kiss him. Holding him against her lips, trying to transfer all of her feelings into that kiss. She pulls back and looks up into his emerald eyes. “Thank you,” she whispers, lips gently brushing over his.

Grabbing the frames out of his hand, she gently leans them against the wall. Taking his hand in hers, she begins to lead him out of the room. “We can hang those up tomorrow. Right now I have some gifts I need to give you.”

Thank you so much for reading! 💕

Can We Fall?

The Night Before

Shut Up And Kiss Me

#i will be throwing my phone and computer into the ocean now #it was nice knowing all of you

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gallickingun · 3 years

Text

ding, dong, the witch is dead!

honestly, who didn’t see this coming? lol. but, anyway. i guess this is goodbye! i’ll ramble more below the cut, but just know that over the next couple of days, i’ll be exporting my blog so i can keep what i want, and then this will be the only post left here.

thank you to everyone who i’ve had the privilege of meeting, and those of you who have been so kind as to leave lovely notes on my works, and interact with me over our silly anime crushes. i really appreciate all the kindness i’ve been shown in the anime fandom. some of my best friends i’ve met through this stupid app, but overall, it’s just not a healthy space for me. i’m not blaming anyone else for what this has become, at the end of the day, i created a hell for myself. i’m just tired of trying to rebuild, rebrand, whatever. i’m just tired.

that being said, obviously not everything can always be so lovely. i don’t care about the discourse or the drama or the whatever, but i’m just hoping this post will bring me some closure, and maybe some for those i’ve hurt, whether accidentally or intentionally. if you click read more and you’re upset with what you see, well, idk what to tell you, friend.

i hate that tumblr can be so insignificant, and yet so all encompassing all at once. yes, it’s “just tumblr” and “it’s not that deep” because at the end of the day, it’s just an app. but, unfortunately, behind this app and these blogs are human beings. which means you create real bonds and real friendships, and real feelings get hurt.

i came back to tumblr during a really sad, dark time in my life. and that was honestly my first mistake. i latched on to whoever would pay attention to me, craving some sort of friendship that i never needed before because i always had someone in real life. but i had just moved away from my family, and was starting the process of what would end up being a notsogreat divorce. i felt alone, and was struggling a lot with my self worth, so instead of choosing to be kind, i chose to lash out. regardless of whether or not that was in private dm’s of those whom, at the time, i’d considered friends, it was still inconsiderate and childish of me. i thought i had to be some hateful version of myself in order to prove to other people that i wasn’t as sad about myself as i truly was. the words i said in private were rude, nasty, and just... not who i want to be? and, without going into immense detail, some of those things i wanted to move on from and no longer felt, were then used as weapons and spread around to others who i never intended to see what i’d said.

please, please, PLEASE — be careful what you say. you really never know who is watching, who is going to manipulate you, etc. what you say holds weight, and even if you don’t intend for it to hurt anyone, even if it’s just venting.. i dunno. just, be careful, okay? check yourself from time to time, friend. make sure that you’re not allowing the overall negativity of the world, of your own mind, of others, to affect you to the point that you don’t recognize yourself.

if you don’t know about my lovely little exposed blog, well, you’d probably be the last to know. at least, it feels that way. although in the beginning maybe it was justified? in some right? i’m not sure anymore, really, but regardless—it turned into some sort of stalking experience. at one point in time, i received 35+ messages telling me how horrible i was, telling me to off myself, telling me that my ex did the right thing by leaving me “on the curb”, etc. my full legal name was being released, with the intent to doxx me i’m assuming? i was being told i was “being watched”, which i fully believe was happening, with the consistency of the updates. people who claim to hate me, still followed me with the intent of watching my every move to “see if i’d changed”. i only have received updates through friends, because to be perfectly honest with you, seeing your worst mistakes splayed on the internet and turning you into some shounen villain is NOT the best thing for your mental health. that, and some of the “truths” were half-honesties twisted because i’d be a hypocrite to post private dm’s debunking these things when i was upset with the very same people for posting such things. i’ve addressed some things, such as the racism, so i won’t go into that again, but some of these other instances are stretches, to say the least.

the irony of the whole thing is not lost on me. the very same people who say i only do things for notes/recognition, are doing those very things. those who say i only care about tumblr, are proving that by running a blog dedicated to exposing some twenty three year old idiot on the internet. those who say i use my friends are the same ones who literally lied to my face so they could collect receipts behind my back and then leave me when it got convenient. those who say i talk to “insignificant” blogs to appear invested are the ones calling those blogs insignificant, i never once believed anyone i’ve interacted with was insignificant, contrary to popular belief. everything they focus on ends up being nothing but hypocrisy in the end.

that being said, obviously i truly hurt whoever all is behind this blog. intentionally, or otherwise. and i know that sometimes what you do/say isn’t meant to hurt anyone, however, you don’t get to control how what you’ve done effects others. all you can do is apologize. but, i know a few of them, because based on the “receipts” they’ve pulled together, the stories are too specific to be anything but those people i’m thinking of. i don’t enjoy blanket apologies, but i’m leaving this hellsite, so it’s all i’ve got left.

i’m sorry for giving you the fuel to your fire for this petty agenda, i’m sorry for creating the monster of myself that allowed you to string along this storyline for what seems to be the better part of a year. i’m sorry that i gave you material to fixate upon, rather than providing you with friendship and something better to focus on. i truly hope you can move on now that i’m gone from tumblr, and honestly i don’t plan on coming back, lol. i genuinely, truly, deeply feel sorry for you, and pray that you can turn this obsessive focus from me to something more productive, something healthier.

the angry part of me wants everyone to realize that the start of this, the matchups/refunds situation, was born from this stalkerish behavior. it has taken me months to put the pieces together, because i truly didn’t think someone who i’d called my friend once would ever string together such a lie, or rather an exaggerated, adulterated truth, but i guess it’s what happened, in the end.

there are a lot of, uh, conveniently timed “releases” of receipts even though they were months after the initial occurrence of the offense. i can’t go into each one, because, frankly, there are too many. i just hope that in the wake of all of these horrible exposes of things i’ve done, others are able to reflect on their actions. telling me one thing while currently speaking to another individual and telling them another, blatantly LYING, etc. are all things that i’ve been accused of, and yet they’ve also been done to me. doesn’t justify what i’ve done, nor am i seeking some sort of absolution, however i just hope that these individuals can see their hypocrisy and move forward.

which leads me to my final point — regardless of how shitty someone is, disallowing them the room to grow, stunting their moral/mental growth, is truly the issue. i am not going to sit here and play holier than thou. i know i fucked up. i was a nasty bitch because i was angry at the world, and then that anger was fueled further by consistent situations where i made the wrong friends at the wrong times in my life. but the fact that this exposed nonsense has been dragging on since... july? august? i’m not really sure, but whatever. since it’s been going on, i have been battling with myself and my ability to do the things i love, talk to those i care about, etc. all because i’m afraid of saying the wrong thing, hurting the wrong person, etc. and in trying to avoid it, i’ve been doing the very same thing i hoped to keep from doing.

i never felt like i could apologize to those i wanted to apologize to because it might be received as disingenuous due to the nature of the exposed blog’s very existence “forcing” me to apologize. don’t get me wrong, some of those who the blog tried to coerce me into apologizing to can suck a dick, because there are people that i truly do not feel deserve my apologies, and therefore, will never get them. but, i do feel bad for those i didn’t get the chance to apologize to that i really wanted to. the last thing i’d want is for my apology to be turned into something it’s not, but hopefully everyone who has been affected by my actions can move on with my absence.

and to those of you who feel the need to make public denounces of my name, i hope it provides you the closure you’ve been seeking. truly, i do. but know that i never did anything i’ve ever done with the intent to get ahead or buy someone’s friendship or take advantage of anyone else. if i truly only cared about the things people say i cared about, i would have never made this blog in the first place. i would have leeched off the popularity of my main blog if popularity was all i cared about. i was searching for a home, which, in the end, i burned down myself. me, joking around about follower count and notes, was literally nothing but sarcastic banter that’s been taken out of context. but, i digress.

i am very thankful for those who i can still call my friends, who are willing and ready to have honest discussions with me about the things i’ve said/done and analyze them and help me move forward. therapy, medication, life choices, etc. all have been rolled into me deciding that i’m done letting a silly little app stunt my growth. if the internet was unplugged tomorrow, i know who i’d have and what would matter. i have REAL LIFE to focus on. i am in love and i have beautiful friendships that i want to foster with honesty and kindness. i can only hope that you all have the opportunity to have those very same things.

will i stop writing? nah, dude. no way. i’m just getting started. in my absence, in choosing to stay away from a place that makes me sick to my stomach with anxiety, i’ve delved into my original characters and i’ve written thousands of words that i haven’t felt the pressure to post about. i’ve learned that just because i’m doing something i love, i don’t have to do it for anyone else.

the internet is a funky place, folks. just be careful who your friends are, okay?

anyway. peace out, girl scouts. i wish you all the best 💖

#morgan.txt #tw mental health #tw suicide mention #tw discourse #tw drama #THAT’S ALL FOLKS! signing off xx

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aro-culture-is · 4 years

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hi friend! i know you’ve said before that figuring out that you’re aro was a positive thing. unfortunately, i didn’t feel the same. i’ve since accepted it, and understood that i’m not weird or wrong because of it, but i still cannot think of a way that it makes my life better. i was wondering if you could bring a different perspective, one that doesn’t just feel like they’re missing out? thank you 💚

(sorry I took so long to answer! in all honesty, it’s been a hell of a month)

we can bring in the outside perspective. did you know that we sometimes struggle to understand Earth as a planet because we understand planets from afar, but we’re too close for those same tools to work? just like that, aro people get to explore romance and romantic relationships from outside. we can be the instruments far enough away to teach us new things and reexamine what we think we know about romance and relationships. when you look out to the stars, know that you are the satellites and rovers who understand and learn in ways Earth-based telescopes could never accomplish.

studies show that married individuals often have fewer social interactions overall. we have the opportunity to be present in more lives, in more precious moments. maybe I’m a sap with some quality time love language, but we can be there for each other.

don’t have to share a bed if you’re not into that. my married sister complains all the time about how her husband is the worst blanket thief, and his ever-restless self has a tendency to gently kick/smack her in his sleep. yuck. I barely sleep well enough without that. plus people are so warm! sleeping at cooler temps (67 degrees F) promotes deeper and more restful sleep! this seems trivial and like a “good” couple can easily not do it, but like. where. show me One Alloro who would view not sleeping in the same bed as a “healthy relationship” and I will concede that maybe some of them understand boundaries.

i know that alloros talk about romo attraction like it’s fun and good and all but like. then they describe anxiety. ??? alloros explain??? I have enough anxiety without that!!!

idk how best to phrase this but like... as a community we’re super prone to having amazing discussions about boundaries and feelings about things that tend to be viewed as taboo (like not wanting to be married, desiring fwb relationships, letting people discuss the ways their trauma affects or doesn’t affect them and believing them and validating them, etc). we’re open to discussing if these things are actually worthwhile ideals to hold on to, and discussing the feelings that might lead to those conclusions. like... do people want to be married to someone who loves them or do they want to be married because society says that they are incomplete without it? this ties in to the outside perspective thing

we have an amazing flag

green

we actively promote and boost works of art that explore subjects that aren’t given attention in a lot of current culture. we’re on top of music without romance, we swarm authors with support as we can, and we let ourselves love what exists in our lives.

alloro ppl spend so much time listening to materialistic, predatory songs that prey on their loneliness and longing. it’s not their fault, obv, the industry knows how easy it is to sell a group of reasonably attractive individuals who you may be able to imagine singing that song to you, for you... but like. we’re immune to the siren’s call.

we get to exist, right now, on the dawning of a new era. we, right now, are some of the first generations of aro people who have this term. we get to set the stage, we get to direct the lights, we choose our battle anthems, and we write our soliloquies. we exist in a time where we are allowed to ask what we want, what we need, and what that means. we are not obligated to get things right- the first round of anything is rarely perfect. we have the opportunity to create our community in our own image. we are the first, and this may feel crushing at times, but -- we are free to learn and grow together in a new way that has never before existed. we are here now, and we can make of that exactly as we will.

I hope this helps. I admit it was challenging to enumerate my thoughts and feelings on the matter, but I hope I’ve provided at least a few silly and more serious reasons I love being aromantic.

#aro #aromantic #actually aro #actually aromantic #ask #advice #long post #Anonymous #mod kee

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chicken-fifi · 3 years

Text

Brother’s Best Friend (2) - Yunho (TVXQ) Imagine

Requested by anon: hello!! idk if you do this or not (if you don’t it’s totally fine!!) but could you write a 2 part for that yunho imagine where you’re changmins little sister?? maybe a couple months passed and he still is super protective and maybe can’t accept the fact that his little sister is dating his best friend?? tysm 💕💕

Word count: 1,301 words

“Changmin~” your older sister whined out. “It's just a date. Besides, our little (y/n) isn’t so little anymore. She needs to fly the nest. Yunho will be good for her.”

“So?” Changmin let out in disbelief.

“So…” the other of your sisters began extending her hand in direction. “He’ll take good care of her. You know him better than anyone else, would he really harm her?”

He huffed, face turning a crimson color as he prepared to spew off some brotherly reason for why he didn’t trust his best friend, only for his wife to send him a look from where she sat beside you.

“Darling,” she began, giving your hand a small squeeze - she always tended to baby you the most. “Might I remind you who introduced us to begin with?”

He locked his jaw narrowing his eyes at his wife, who simply raised an eyebrow almost as if daring him to argue further. He huffed again falling onto the couch, arms crossed and a pout settled on his lips. In all honesty, he looked like a 5 year old who’s just lost a game of go fish. A look you never thought you’d see on your oldest sibling, but maybe that’s what marriage did to people.

“I still don’t like it,” he huffed out, voice small and as childlike as he looked.

“Well good thing you’re not the one dating him,” his wife said.

“We’re not dating,” you corrected. “Just-”

Changmin shot up from the couch flying towards you towering over your seated frame. “NOT DATING?!”

You nodded innocently, “We’re getting to know each other a bit more before anything becomes official. Besides-”

“NOT DATING SHE SAYS?!” he threw his hands up. “Are you and Yunho even on the same page?”

What did that mean?

“We both agreed to take it slow,” you clarified. “Mainly because we both knew this would be your reaction…”

“What the hell does that mean?” he said in disbelief, his arm being grabbed by you sisters who pulled him away and onto the couch.

~~~

“I never thought I’d be terrified of someone younger than me,” Yunho laughed out nervously. “He’s not planning on sending a hitman after me is he?”

You shook your head, lifting the pastry in front of you to your mouth and taking a bite.

“His wife would kill him, bring him back to life, and kill him again if he did that.”

He let out a sigh of relief before reaching out and wipe the corner of your mouth with his thumb bringing it to his lips and licking it. You gave him a strange look.

“Powdered sugar,” he replied. “If you went home with that there…”

Your face went red as you caught on to what he was insinuating. Changmin would’ve killed Yunho without a second thought - and without knowing it was powdered sugar - if you had shown up with a streak of white at the corner of your mouth. You were lucky enough to even leave the family home without said man tailgating you. Bless your sister-in-law’s kind soul for scolding him on his overprotective nature - although she too said that if you didn’t at least call when you got back to your apartment, she wouldn’t save you from whatever fury Changmin was holding against you or Yunho.

“Thanks,” you squeaked out. “I’d rather not be the reason you’re found dead in a ditch.”

He laughed rubbing the back of his neck nervously, “I’d rather not be killed by my friend but I don’t think I’m willing to give you up for that. I’ll just accept murder as my fate if it means I get to spend time with you.”

A playful scoff left your lips, “Cheeky.”

The two of you remained in the little cafe for a while before deciding to go to a nearby park and enjoy the beautiful weather and scenery. Before long the sun began to set bringing with it a chillier wind that had you wishing you brought a thin jacket with you. Yunho noticed and took off the jackey he had on, draping it over your shoulders, the warm heat feeling nice against your cold body.

“We should get going,” he said. “I don’t want you getting sick because you were out in the cold too long.”

You agreed, slipping your hand into his and intertwining your fingers before beginning the trek to his car. He opened the door for you, waiting until you were comfortably seated before closing it. He jogged around the front of the car quickly opening and sliding into the driver’s seat before starting the car and turning on the heat while putting on his seatbelt.

“It’s a lot colder than I thought it’d be,” he admitted rubbing his hands together before pulling out carefully and merging into the traffic. “Where am I dropping you off?”

“My apartment,” you said, earning a nod before you both slipped into a comfortable silence.

~~~

Yunho pulled into an empty spot in front of your apartment building cutting off the engine and slipping out of the car quickly running to open the door for you. “I’ll walk you up.”

You smiled, taking his hand and walking with him through the lobby doors. Taking the elevator to your floor, you both made some small talk reminiscing about everything you guys had done on your little date. When it stopped you both walked out stopping in front of your door which was the closest to the elevator.

“I had a lot of fun today,” you said rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet. “We should do this more often.”

He smiled, “I’m glad you had fun…” his voice faded as he looked away before meeting your gaze again. “Can I kiss you?”

You smiled, nodding before taking a step forward and pressing your lips together, hands going up to cup his face. In that moment a billion fireworks set off in your chest, butterflies fluttering in your stomach. You pulled away feeling the heat spread across your cheeks. He smiled brightly tucking a piece of hair behind your ear.

“Let’s make it official,” he said softly. “We’re dating.”

You went to respond when the door to your apartment opened, revealing your sister-in-law who was waving to your roommate, Changmin right behind her. As soon as he turned around and spotted his friend, his gaze went cold.

“Yunho,” was all he said before looking at you, eyes widening. “Why are your lips swollen?”

You hand flew up touching them gently feeling them a bit fuller than normal. Before you could act, Changmin was face to face with Yunho, chest puffed out ready to fight.

“Don’t you dare think about hurting her,” he hissed out. “You may be my best friend but she’s my sister.”

Yunho visibly gulped, raising his hands in defense, “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Changmin!” his wife scolded grabbing the back of his shirt. “We’re in a hallway!”

He relaxed a bit, before looking back at you, “If he does anything you better tell me.” You nodded, not saying a word figuring it was the better way to respond at the moment.

Hooking his arm with his wife’s they walked to the elevator pressing the button and waiting before climbing into it once it arrived. As soon as the doors closed, Yunho left out a small laugh.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen him like that.”

“He’ll get over it,” you reasoned. “He just has trouble accepting the fact that I’m not a baby anymore despite being the youngest. I am his favorite ya know. But don’t tell my sisters that.”

He smiled, leaning in and pressing a quick kiss to your lips again. “Friday night? Dinner and a movie?”

“Pick me up at 7?”

“Deal. Goodnight.”

“Night.”

A/N: I do hope this was good. Have a good day/night!

#kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #tvxq #tvxq masterlist #tvxq imagines #tvxq scenarios #tvxq yunho #tvxq jung yunho #tvxq u-know yunho #yunho #yunho imagines #yunho scenarios #jung yunho #jung yunho imagines #jung yunho scenarios #u-know yunho #u-know yunho imagines #u-know yunho scenarios

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twopoppies · 3 years

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Ok, I’m gonna ask something and I really really hope where I’m coming from translates because I know how this can look.

I’m asking this question because I often ask it to myself, and I don’t know that I have an answer to it, but I’m young and new and I see you as a fandom auntie imparting your wisdom so maybe you can help me? I’m in my head a lot, all the time.

What would it take for you to go “alright that’s it, there is no Larry/they’re not together anymore”? I know, I know this question is shady. I’ve seen it thrown around a bunch of times in the year I’ve been a fan and it always gets a snarky response (which I totally get because I don’t think it comes from a genuine place). But as I said, I keep asking it to myself and when that happens I get a little frantic. Does that make sense? Like, it kind of gives me anxiety to think about that.

I keep wondering, if 5 more years go by and Freddie is still around... how would I feel? I don’t THINK that’s gonna happen, but then again, there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight and he’s already 5, so who the fuck knows, you know? Would I be a firm believer on what I believe if I saw an 8, a 10 year old kid talk about Louis as his dad? I don’t have an answer... and it scares me, because it makes me feel delusional and I know I’m not.

What would happen if Louis and Eleanor got married? Do I think it will happen? No... but I mean, I also didn’t think they’d survive this long. When I first came into the fandom everyone was saying they’d break up soon and it’s been a year. How would I cope if that happened? If they had a kid? Would I patiently wait for it to be revealed that things aren’t as they seem? Would I give up?

What if Harry and Olivia become more serious? What if they date for years and he takes her to events or talks about her? Like, I know, I KNOW he’s never done it before, but I also know that he has never called any of his stunts “my ex girlfriend” before Camille, and he even included her voice in a song... so like, do we REALLY know? He hadn’t held hands with one of his stunts since Taylor, and he’d never taken them as plus ones to anything. He seems to be actively participating a lot more than with Camille. I did my research, they were seen together far less and mostly maintained it by her going to his concerts. Idk it just seems that he was so low key with stunts in the past and instead of taking steps to maybe come out, he’s taking steps to make his relationships look more serious. He “dated” those women for a couple of months tops, now he’s stuck in long “relationships” that have to involve his family and idk it kinda sucks. What’s the guarantee they won’t take it a step further? How would I react if they did?

These things are in my head constantly and I don’t know what to think. What WOULD I do? Would I get fed up and leave the fandom, regardless of what I believed? So many people have done that but I can’t see myself not supporting H&L, they feel like such an important part of my life.

God, I’m sorry for how long this was and how annoying it must be. I guess I just need a little guidance.

Hi sugar. Wow... there’s lots going on here and I don’t think I can actually address everything you’re asking. So, let me start by saying that I don’t have a set “if this happens, I’m out” line in the sand. For me, I imagine I’ll leave when fandom is no longer fun for me, but I don’t think longevity or mutation of the stunts would necessarily be the final straw.

The thing is, for those of us who’ve been here since the band was together, we saw how different Harry and Louis’ attitude was towards their closeting. They actively fought against it. Loudly. Somewhere along the way, after the hiatus, things seem to have shifted a bit. Not that they want to be closeted, but it feels as though they might have a different perspective on it these days.

So, I guess the question could be... do they want to come out anytime soon? And I really don’t know. Louis has barely gotten his solo career off the ground. Harry is doing extremely well with his extremely frustrating fence straddling. Would coming out soon hurt their career goals? I think babygate is an entirely separate issue and regardless of anything else, that just isn’t sustainable. There’s too much that’s shady there for me to ever think he had a baby with her. And I just can’t see the family agreeing to continuously lie to their child for an open ended amount of time now that he’s really old enough to understand. I mean, I guess I shouldn’t put anything past them, but that seems insane.

So if they’re not ready to make that big change, stunts could look different than they used to. Camille staying for a year and Eleanor coming back made it possible for each of them to write an album that included songs about long term love, and allowed them to talk about it during promo with as much honesty as they wanted/were able to share. Not everything has changed for the worse.

When I try to look at the situation from their POV, and assume that they have a bit more power than they did pre-hiatus, I feel less anxious about things. But more than anything, I think what helps is to remember that this is their lives. They know what’s best for them. We might not like it, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re suffering or that you’re wrong about your assumptions about them. If you’re here to support them, then I think all you can do is just support them and remove any time frames and specific expectations. If it gets in the way of your mental health, please take a break. Fandom will still be here. I have good friends who are still ride or die Larries, but they just can’t handle being here right now.

Lastly, it sounds as though asking yourself these “what would I do” questions is a form of future worrying that is actually causing you some real anxiety. There really isn’t a point in wondering how you would react to something that may never happen. It won’t keep it from happening, but it is keeping you from enjoying where you are now.

I know this got long, but I hope there’s something helpful there. 💗

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