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#incorrect the who quotes
correctwhoquotes · 2 years
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Roger: Congratulations. You three have just won gold, silver, and bronze in the Moron Olympics.
Pete:
John:
Keith: …Who won gold?
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incorrectwho · 2 years
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Roger: Pete, can I take you to meet my therapist next week?
Pete: Why?
Roger: She thinks I'm making you up.
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lovelyinspiration1463 · 5 months
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This is my pièce de résistance. I've peaked.
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mooncalf87 · 29 days
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Charlie: hey, Al, Rosie is at the door!
Al: oh no
Rosie: DARLINGGGGGGG ITS YOUR YEARLY SLANG EDUCATION DAYYYYYYY
Alastor: HIDE ME QUICK
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bruciemilf · 6 months
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"Dick is the golden child" I love that you love that, but I raise you this; This motherfucker barely behaves better than Ace. Barely. He's not even the silver egg.
Jason? On the other hand? Sure, he pretends dissapointing Bruce isn't a core fear. But he's afraid of letting Bruce down the same way you're afraid of making your mother mad.
A re-enactment of a normal day:
Dick: Okay, so, we severely fucked up this time.
Jason: [Screams]
Dick: But don't worry, I'm calling Bruce!
Jason: [SCREAMS]
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plistommy · 5 days
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steddie in a nutshell
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p1nkshield · 1 year
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I love the idea floating around tumblr that both Bruce and Dick introduce Jason like he’s five because he is “my son” or “my baby brother” to them and he just surprises everyone with his tank build.
Might I pose that Jason is so used to it that it doesn’t even clock for him anymore
Dick Grayson at work: Hey I’m sorry, do you think you could watch my baby brother for a sec? Bruce can’t really pick him up rn.
His coworker: oh! Okay don’t even worry about it but for how long? I’m not the best with kids
Dick half listening: you’ll be alright! he loves to read so he won’t be on your toes … just keep an eye on your squad car keys… oh! There he is!
A six foot, 225 pound linebacker of a man walks in: hey 👋
Coworker: 👁👄👁
Dick: jaylad! I brought you a book you might like! This is my coworker, they’re gonna be here for a while, if you need anything, within reason, ask them okay? I’ll be right back buddy.
Coworker: 👁👄👁
Jason, carding through his book: …would he get fired if I drove one of the police cars without permission?
If not is it like a fine or like, jail time?
Dick motherhens every one of his siblings but Jason the most
Like they’re all enjoying their Doritos, orange slices and caprisuns on a roof after a long patrol and Duke is like
…WAIT A DANG MINUTE
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xx0yeet-everything0xx · 11 months
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percy: i don't think nico's ever gone to sleep before 5am, and its really just concerning at this point
percy: let's not even talk about jason. he wakes up at 4:45am on the dot, every morning, without an alarm clock. that's terrifying.
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burning-quesadilla · 1 year
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Wally: I need life advice.  Dick, sipping Gatorade and eating cookie dough: You came to the right person.
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lyrichi · 1 month
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[the bros are all fighting in the background]
mc, watching and eating one of those vero mango lollipops:
solomon, sitting next to them: what did you do to make them all fight like that?
mc: I said I had a favorite
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correctwhoquotes · 2 years
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John: Hey guys, Keith is in the pool and I don’t think he’s waterproof.
Roger:
Pete: I think he’s trying to say that Keith's drowning.
Roger: Oh okay.
Roger:
Roger: Wait WHAT?!
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incorrectwho · 2 years
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Pete: Being bi is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us.
Roger: If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both!
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celaenaeiln · 9 months
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JL: Nightwing! It’s a delight to see you! You should come by more often.
Nightwing: Thank you! I’m so sorry, work has been piling up on me but I’ll try to drop by the office party this Sunday.
JL: Ofcourse! Looking forward to seeing you there. By the way, is Batman coming late?
Nightwing: No, I’ll be filling in for him today.
JL: Did something happen?
Nightwing: Nothing much, he’s just grounded.
JL: ???
48 hours earlier
Dick: Bruce, I’m telling you now and we’ve had this conversation before but you need to build a better rapport with your children. They look up to you as a father figure and your actions influence their behavior.
Bruce: …hmrgh
Dick: And you might not be aware but you unconconscious behavior is damaging. Tim has picked up your terrible habit of constantly working in front of a screen-it’s going to strain his eyes. He’s always inside too, so you need to make him go outside more. I’m not always here, I have an entire city to run, the titans need me, I'm mentoring hundreds of heroes, the Justice League calls on me to help them, and I need to keep up with my social life. The people in Bludhaven where I teach and work also call me if I’m gone for a day-the point is-I can’t always be playing second parent here in Gotham.
Bruce: ……hmrgh
Dick: Damian always looks up to you
Bruce: *side eyes*
Dick: He does! See you don’t even realize it! He wants to make you proud and Jason gets mad when you don’t make time for him because he cares too. Stephanie doesn’t have a dad she can turn to and it would mean the world to her if you took her out to an amusement park or something. When was the last time you spent time with her.
Bruce: ….hmrgh
Dick: And-
1 hour later
Dick: -that’s why you need to stop working, go to them right now, and bond with them.
Bruce:
Dick:
Bruce: ……...hmrgh
Dick: I’m waiting.
Bruce: *dragging himself off the batcave chair and begrudgingly trudging upstairs under Dick’s watchful eye*
Bruce: *listening to the sounds of his kids in the living room and pumping himself up* Better relationships mean better teamwork. Better relationships mean better teamwork. Better relationships mean better teamwork. And Dick. Do it for him.
Bruce: *entering* *clearing his throat* Children. We will be going-
*The living room is in utter chaos. The cushions are strewn and ripped with stuffing coating the couches and floor which for some reason is stained yellow, the flower vase is shattered and so is the table it was sitting on, there’s string confetti on the chandelier, there’s spray paint and neon goo across the walls and in Tim’s hair, Jason has deep claw marks down his face as he wrestles with Damian who’s sporting massive bruise on his cheek and trying his hardest to bite him, Stephanie is dunking Tim’s face in a tub of soda which splashed everywhere while he’s ripping out Jason’s hair and also trying to kick Damian with his foot, the tv has massive spiderwebs and looping on tellatubies like a broken record machine, Titus is spitting out a feather while a random goose runs around honking while Alfred the cat chases after it at full speed, knocking down decades old paintings.*
Bruce:
Bruce:
Bruce:
Bruce: *rolling up his sleeves and stomping forward to join the fight* HMRGH.
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zukkaart · 2 months
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Ozai: We engineered a psychopath to kill you
Sokka: Totally married him
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