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vintagetvstars · 2 days

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Diahann Carroll Vs. Rue McClanahan

Propaganda

Diahann Carroll - (Dynasty, Julia) - God every clip of her on Dynasty is just so iconic, her entrance, the bit where she shades Joan Collins' Alexis for her taste in caviar... "I wanted to be the first black bitch on television" she said, and she did it beautifully!

Rue McClanahan - (Golden Girls, Maude, Mama's Family) - Listen to me. I have never understood celebrity crushes until I first witnessed Rue McClanahan. She's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen - just look at her!! Gorgeous eyes, the cutest nose, a SPECTACULAR smile - she has this adorable, princess-like quality about her AND she's also a complete hottie AND she's aware of it: she HAS THE RANGE, people!! Her two most famous roles are polar opposites, in fact: she starred in the role of naive, gentle Vivian Cavender-Harmon in Maude (and I mean. Just look her up and tell me that's not an angel!), and then went on to gain even more well-deserved fame and success as the seductive, extroverted Blanche Devereaux in The Golden Girls (a role for which she won an Emmy in 1987 - her amazing, hilarious acceptance speech can be found here: . I should also point out that both of these are comedy characters and she is HILARIOUS as them both - the comedic timing, the delivery, the expressions, she was a comedy queen!!! As for her personal life, she was just a darling - and also very funny in person, not just in her acting roles! She was a staunch supporter of gay rights and a big advocate for same-sex marriage in the US, as well as a vegetarian and a big defender of animal rights. She suffered from illness in her later years which greatly impacted her health, but she was still very active up until her death in 2010, and she even released a wonderful autobiography in 2007 titled "My First Five Husbands... and the Ones Who Got Away". In her interviews she's always gentle, soft-spoken (her voice. dear god. sweet mother Aphrodite I cannot weave I am overcome with gay thoughts), and kind, but also sharp, witty, and just a delight to watch. I could go on forever talking about her honestly. I am actually in love with her and you should be too. She's just the best! Here, have some additional pics: (pics below the cut)

Master Poll List of the Hot Vintage TV Ladies Bracket

Additional propaganda below the cut

Diahann Carroll:

Diahann Carroll's First Scene on "Dynasty"

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Rue McClanahan:

The Hottie™ of the Golden Girls, she was definitely a GILF. And her character's shenanigans were Emmy-winning but no less fun and her outfits were always on point and gorgeous, befitting her perfectly.

she!!!

as Vivian, with her fellow hottie Bea Arthur as Maude

as Blanche - look at those eyes!!!

come on, tell me you wouldn't do anything for that smile, I dare you

in her contract she specifically requested to be given all of Blanche's clothes and SHE WAS RIGHT

Okay so first of all. Rue has this way of moving around and looking at you that just-- I mean, I'm ace, but I *get* the allos. She's hot and she knows it (and she plays a character in The Golden Girls who's in her 50s, hot, and knows it as well. Which, talk about perfect casting??) But I'm mostly here to talk about the fact that she said this in her Emmy acceptance speech (paraphrased because I'm sharing the video with the right timestamp, and you should absolutely watch up until 3:40, because her delivery is UNMATCHED): "My mother said to me once [...] 'Oh, Eddi-Rue, for heaven's sake. Don't you know every kick's a boost?' There've been a lot of kicks, and there've been a lot of boosts. I'm not going to mention the people who gave me kicks... but you know who you are. And you'll be in the book." (Seriously though, do yourself a favour and watch that video. She's amazing!!) She said this, and proceeded to WRITE THE BOOK, titled "My first five husbands, and the ones who got away", which is *incredibly* funny, and such an earnest look into her life. She opens the acknowledgements with "This book is about my life and experiences as I lived them, and anyone who doesn't like it can jolly well lump it." And I mean... she's awesome. I could go on.

Rue McClanahan @ The Emmy Awards 1987

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#vintage tv stars poll #tv ladies 3 #diahann carroll #rue mcclanahan #Youtube

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bucksdaffy · 1 day

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https://www.tumblr.com/bucksdaffy/750482450750308352/i-mean-i-think-its-fair-to-ask-what-show-yall?source=share

Okay, let's talk about development. Buddie shippers love to throw shade at Tommy. So, quick question: it's been 5 years now, where is Eddie's character development? Since Season 3, he has been suffering because of his wife and has run away from a new relationship. He's in the same place as in Season 7. The truth is, Buddie shippers don't care about Eddie's character. They see Eddie as an extension of Buck. Buck manages to get some self-improvement. We can see his changes from Season 1 to now. Eddie? They don’t care; they're too worried about karaoke scenes and their only concern is to make Buddie canon

Sorry, that annon got me so nervous

truth be told, the show favours buck, and eddie is often neglected in terms of development. i must admit i actually saw some eddie-leaning bobs express frustration about this early on when it was revealed that a gay eddie arc was under consideration before tim and co ultimately decided on a bi buck storyline. but their voices were pretty drowned out by the constant yapping of how the show could make buddie canon, and now it's hard to see anything else.

i think you're right in saying bobs don't care about eddie as a character. but i'd even go so far as to say they don't care about buck either. superficially? sure because they both are part of the ship they love. but in reality? i wouldn't be so sure about that.

because the thing is they don't seem to think about buck and eddie as separate individuals. they always make one's storyline about the other. there is no buck without eddie and no eddie without buck in their eyes.

when you love a character, i think it's only natural that you want them to be happy. but when you love a ship more, your brain is wired to believe that the only way for them to be happy is if said ship ends up together. i don't want to condemn anyone for their feelings and choices because it's everyone's right to enjoy what they want to enjoy. you can't force anyone to change their view on that. i just wish they admitted they are not actually buck defenders or eddie defenders – they are just full-on buddie shippers, and that's it. don't pretend you care about them as individuals because it's obvious it's not true.

bobs don't care that buck is now in a happy relationship with a man who treats him as his equal, doesn't glorify him, understands what it means to be a firefighter, supports him, and makes an effort to be there for him when he needs him. they don't care that he is good for buck right now. they want tommy gone because he stands in the way of buddie canon (does he really? not the fact that eddie is canonically still very much heterosexual?), and because the audience seems to enjoy him much more than they anticipated. and they don't even care about an amicable break-up anymore – i saw some bobs say they want tommy dead. now you can't tell me you care about buck if you wish for his love interest to die. it's fine if you don't like tommy and if you personally think buck would be happier with someone else. let's agree to disagree and move on. but when you wish to seriously traumatize (one of) your favourite(s) character(s) in order for your ship to become canon? that just shows where your priorities lie, and i can guarantee that most people will disagree with you.

when it comes to eddie, he doesn't have the happiest storyline right now, and hasn't for a while. but if/when in s8 or some later season (provided they get renewed for more) he gets the development he deserves, and finally finds someone who he truly likes (and that someone isn't buck) and treats right, or perhaps decides that being single is fine and lets go of the pressure to be in a romantic relationship, do you think they'll be happy for him? i highly doubt so. they'll still push for buddie canon, not taking into account the individual characters of the story and their needs. what matters is that they get what they want, and everything and everyone else can go to hell.

if that is your stance, i personally think you should just quit watching the show and move to ao3 full-time for your and everyone else's own good. tim and co will not make buddie canon just because you want them to. it has to make sense for both buck and eddie individually first. and right now that is not the case for either of them.

#anon 🫶🏼#bucktommy #platonic buddie #anti buddie

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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 2 days

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As bummed as I was at the time of reading it, I'm actually glad that "Blue Moon" had kind of a "cliffhanger" ending. Now, I and everyone else who reads it can project whatever happy ending we want on to it. For example, Carlisle talks Bella into naming their kid something unique but not overwhelmingly stupid and they fall in love. Rosalie and Emmett manage to overcome their issues and eventually join Carlisle and Bella in Volterra because "we're a family, goddammit and we should be together!" The birth goes as well as can be expected and Bella doesn't leave the planet after turning. She, with help from her family, becomes a pretty good mom and Carlisle is an amazing dad. Alice and Jasper keep in contact at a distance because of the Volturi and go searching for other hybrids. Aro becomes the baby's weird uncle and tells the kid all of his weird, interesting stories. At Aro's insistence, Bella develops her power and lowers her shield for him temporarily, causing him to go searching for the nearest vampire therapist. Emmett, I imagine becomes friends with Felix and Demetri while Rosalie gets along with Renata surprisingly well. They both adore the kid and since this is a world where Rosalie works on her issues, she doesn't get weird and project onto the baby. Bella and Carlisle get to have (probably?) good sex with someone they actually love and have commitment ceremony instead of a traditional wedding that's just them and the coven with Aro officiating. Alice and Jasper bring back Nahuel and everyone is relieved to know that the weird alien baby that they love should be alright. Nahuel's sisters get saved, probably by a delegation of Felix and a few of the scary-looking guards intimidating Joham into letting them leave if they want and they go live with him and Huilen and don't get pimped out by their father. And since "Breaking Dawn" doesn't happen, Demetri hears about Benjamin and Tia from Carlisle and immediately heads down to Egypt to tell them that Chelsea didn't make him leave and that while Benjamin has an interesting power, he's not someone Aro is desperate to have. This leads to a TLTIC situation where Tia and Benjamin decide to leave with Demetri and he brings them back to Volterra. Tia befriends Heidi, Benjamin becomes the baby's cool cousin, and Demetri becomes a very confused but protective big brother to them both. The twins are disappointed that the baby's not a squid but enjoy spending time with it regardless. Edward probably goes full Edward and gets executed by Caius but everyone knew it was bound to happen so they just get closer instead of falling apart. Esme just goes to the Denali and ends up becoming their MomBot, which is probably the happiest ending she's going to get. Alice and Jasper break up but it's on good terms and they're still part of the family. Jasper leans on Carlisle the most to maintain the diet and Carlisle, in turn, becomes closer to Jasper as a brother than as a "father." Bella finally talks to both Rosalie and Jasper without Edward interfering and realizes that they both like her just fine and develops a good friendship with them both. Alice's visions are stunted so she's kind of forced to be an actual person and see her family as actual people. She ends up with mixed results but everyone appreciates that she's trying. Her friendship with Bella, especially, isn't the same but that's not a bad thing for either of them. I imagine she'd get along pretty well with Corin. Emmett changes the least but he does start defending Rosalie more (something that's actually in the story) and he decides to take his job as "fun uncle" very seriously. Obviously they can't do the high school thing even after the observation period is done but they have each other, a support system in Volterra if they need it, they can wear whatever clothes they want, and they all live decently ever after. Anyway, it's a really sweet story with potential for a happy ending that you don't usually give the characters and I really liked it.

Blue Moon

Thank you, anon

(Not sure how I feel about "I've decided I like your ending because you didn't get a chance to make it sad")

#twilight #twilight renaissance #blue moon #praise

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shadowwolfmemes · 3 days

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I'm disappointed in you, @mean-bf777

Okay, Mean, I'mma need you to start explaining right now. I don't give a shit on how old your reblog was, this is just SICKENING! Telling people to kill themselves just because they said something you don't like is just absolutely vile!

If I knew the type of person you currently are sooner, I would've never defended you from getting your precious little feelings hurt. But that's not all!

You hate bad dramas and bullying, huh? That's funny considering that you're saying shit like this:

I get that you're 12 years old, but there's no valid excuse for this disgusting behavior. If you come to me talkin' about "I was just feeling dEPreSseD", then this is a horrible way of venting!

You have NO IDEA what someone might be going through behind the screen! If you're going through a hard life as well, then I'm sorry, but you have no respect towards people whatsoever. You don't need to inflict your pain towards other people!

Not to mention this:

And when I tried to talk to you maturely, you pull up with this bullshit:

Oh wow, you got me quivering in my leather-made boots. What am I ever going to do? 😱

But seriously, you're not making this situation any better for yourself. I just have one genuine question for you, Mean-bf.

Are you feeling proud of yourself right now? I'm sure you do. If you want respect, you give respect.

I also want to mention one more thing before this rant post ends: @sillay-silly-blogz, I'm sorry for cussing you out on a post. I didn't realize the type of person @mean-bf777 was until now. I know I apologized to you in private, but I wanted to make it formal at least.

And as for you, bf, I don't feel a single ounce of empathy for you anymore. You lost every ounce of respect I had for you.

#Rant post #Tumblr drama #Public exposure #Please explain

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leocreates · 2 years

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imagine telling someone theyre unliked while being a 22 year old with a DNI page who complains about proshippers do you not have a job or something more viable than your anime yaoi fixations

Me when I don't know who I'm sending an ask to.

#''anime yaoi'' okay...#wow you owned me for sure!!#my dni is me telling someone I'm going to block them which I have every right to do on social media lol #bro I don't give a fuck about proshipping discourse that person su1c1de baits and endorses violence #is that the person you want to defend? seriously?#I specifically said kinkster instead because this isn't discourse. that person is a walking red flag #if you can't put discourse aside to focus one someone who's a genuine threat idk what to tell you #It's weird you brought up anime yaoi because I rarely reblog anime and I don't ship anyone from the animes I do reblog???#I don't take what I said back OP is a terrible person

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garnet-xx-rose · 27 days

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Idk if it’s because of how I’ve curated my feed but I rarely see people shitting on Christine. Any E/C space I’m in is mostly about centering Christine and her satisfaction.

That said, I feel the constant need to warn people that “If you like Erik and Christine as a couple, remember not to have that kind of relationship IRL” is kind of annoying. I get the intention, but people, including young people, aren’t stupid and don’t need constant reminders to not be inspired by their toxic faves.

Like yes girl, I know the Phantom is not a real man. I wish a wealthy, nerdy, musically talented, intelligent old man that lived underground and wanted to help me with my music career was real. But he’s not, so I’m gonna indulge in fiction.

Bless the rest of y’all that get involve in the discourse though. Honestly, could not be me.

#christine daae #phantom of the opera #erik/christine #like do you know how ridiculous it was to be 18 and hearing ppl be like ‘oh you’ll know why Entrapdaks bad when you’re older’#babes its been almost 6 years and they’re still one of the strongest relationships out of the show #i wonder if its more tied to r/c and e/c discourse which 🤷‍♀️#jokes on them I like when all three of them get together #But yeah I rarely come across thosse ‘Christine was wrong for not picking Erik’ posts unless it was like teenagers on TikTok #Which I don’t take seriously at all #as a former teen on the internet #because most of the time you grow out of it #anyway anytime I got reprimanded for shipping something as a kid it just made me want to indulge in it more #and it made me feel like I was being treated like a toddler #by older people who’d be so up in arms about this one ship while defending another that was equally if not more problematic #my hot take is that in most cases ships aren’t really problematic #its more based on your personal tastes and experiences shaping your view of relationships in media

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thelordofgifs · 1 year

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hahaha imply that Maglor was a useless incompetent foster parent and Maedhros was the brains of the operation doing all the practical and emotional childcare for comedic effect again. go on do it. I dare you.

#kidnap fam #this post brought to you by one too many incorrect quotes posts crossing my dash #and like #you can dislike fluffy kidnap fam interpretations and defend elwing all you want!! I support that!#(although I am personally a fan of the emotionally fraught and complicated but ultimately loving version)#BUT for the love of god stop erasing Maglor’s character arc I am BEGGING you #where is the evidence that he was bad with children? he had five younger brothers!!!#and you are never going to convince me that Maedhros was remotely functional enough to help with the twins in any meaningful way #anyway I’m taking this far too seriously ik but it IRKS me

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paellegere · 2 months

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hey girlie it’s me, sam winchesters gay lover, your mootie 🥰🥰🥰 i just wanted to let you know, that your tags on the post about that wincest video are based and i agree with every word, hashtag slay couldn’t agree more i loved reading your essay in those tags heart ❤️

omg thank you!!! i'm basically only capable of talking in essays whether people want me to or not, unfortunately

i just have a lot of feelings on this topic and the whole "canon or not canon" argument is weird to me; the themes are pretty darn clear in supernatural (it is NOT known for its subtlety) so idk man. they don't have to kiss to be canon. and they don't have to have a romantic relationship to be canon either. how many times do they get into relationships with other people only for it to be treated as cheating/betrayal/abandonment, only for them have to give up that relationship in order to reaffirm their devotion to their brother

that's just what the text says. i'm not under any kind of delusion that they have some secret sexual or romantic relationship, but that doesn't change that sam and dean are each other's most important person regardless of that. which is really awesome imo, that romance isn't treated as more important than whatever horrible thing they have with each other, and that they don't have to consummate their relationship with romance/sex in order for it to be the most important one they have

(and of course there's romantic/sexual subtext, like parallels and metaphors and misunderstandings and jokes, but to me that just provides a solid foundation for presenting this relationship between them as the most important even though it's not romantic or sexual—because this language of romance is the only one we know, really, when it comes to writing important relationships between characters. it's the only one we know in our own personal lives, to a large extent. so you use the romance/sexuality to symbolize the actual bond they have. which is so much worse lmao)

anyway i think spn is fairly unique in this way because of how no other relationships can really ever stand parallel to the one they share; even in other shows that center male friendship, romance is allowed to coexist with brotherhood. for sam and dean, it's not, and that becomes a point of tension and conflict and resolution many, many times over the course of the show. so like yeah!!! just because it's not romantic or sexual doesn't mean it's not canon, in the sense that their relationship is the point of the show, and it is the most important relationship they have. they chose each other above all else, every single time. yknow, it's "the epic love story of sam and dean" and all that

#ask #sorry. i did not intend to write another essay about this #but as i said i am only capable of talking in essays. my apologies #to be honest the only reason i have so much to say about this is because i have seen some truly baffling takes about what sam and dean are #and every time i see one i have to sit here and think about it. like how did you arrive at that conclusion. what are you watching #mostly in terms of like. people saying sam and dean are not weird and codependent and enmeshed with each other #that's just blatantly not true because again. this show is about sam and dean and their relationship. textually subtextually metatextually #the concept of even having to defend their relationship as canon is as confusing to me as having to defend umm rubysam is canon #or something #like it happened. they were together in canon. we saw them have sex. you can't say rubysam isn't canon because it's right there #same thing with sam and dean. the difference is the nature of their relationship and the fact that i guess people don't want to like #think of it as canon when it's not romantic????#it's such a no-brainer kind of thing. like the fact that i'm sitting here trying to explain myself is embarrassing me bc it's like #no shit sherlock #but again the only reason i am thinking about this so much is because i keep seeing people trying to deny or downplay their relationship #in the first place #which is BIZARRE to me #like idk i don't see people trying to deny that ummmm fuck. killua and gon hxh aren't canon friends #that they don't even like each other #wow i'm seriously rambling. apparently i have more to say about this topic than i originally conceived #idk man i get people are uncomfortable with incest but the point is that it's like. not. their canon-ness is not related to incest #they're just insane about each other and they are each other's most important person. they are more important than romantic pursuits #the uniqueness is that it trumps all other relationships and cannot coexist with any others. that's what's so canon about it #it's not just friendship. it's not just brothers. it's not just husbands. it's everything and nothing and so much more all at once #shrugs. sorry for rambling AGAIN #i hope i'm making sense here #supernatural #wincest #spn posting

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philsmeatylegss · 9 months

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Glass child on the internet: “I have experienced profound emotional neglect throughout my childhood due to the pressure and unmet emotional and sometimes physical needs forced upon me since my parents were very busy taking care of my disabled sibling. Thus leaving me with severe emotional scars that I deal with to this day and it’s very invalidating and triggering when people don’t listen to my perspective or understand the gravity of my situation.”

People who put “neurodivergent” in their bio and self diagnosed with seven different disorders: “IT’S NOT THE SIBLINGS FAULT!!!!!!”

Glass child: “I never said it was—”

People who think they have autism because they are very interested in something and sometimes get overwhelmed: “Oh, so you’re ableist? You should probably just kill yourself. No, you definitely should kill yourself. Like, actually do that. Stop crying because mommy and daddy didn’t pay attention to you. Yeah, you’re a lost cause. Kill yourself pls”

#this is fr what it’s like sometimes #mostly on tiktok #but you’ll see it here too #no seriously most of the time when non glass children see a glass child sharing their story #the first response is ‘yOu KnOw iT’S nOt YoUr SiBLiNg’s FaULt’#I FUCKING KNOW #I NEVER SAID IT WAS #LITERALLY NOTHING I AM TALKING ABOUT IMPLIES MY SIBLING IS AT FAULT #IM LITERALLY SAYING MY PARENTS #it’s so fucking ironic because a staple symptom of glass children later in life is being sensitive to feeling unheard #and when we tell our stories #(not to sound like an absolute boomer)#everyone just has to make sure to defend the disabled person WHO ISNT EVEN THERE #THEY AREN’T HERE #it’s so bad on tiktok #and not to rustle any feathers but it also does happen here #that’s all I’m saying because I don’t want to be cancelled #it’s just so delicious that I lived right next to autism 24/7 the first 18 years old my life meeting many others with the same disorder #effectively being so familiar with it I basically have a step below understanding of the disorder than people with the disorder #I was the fucking shadow I was there #and the second I share my opinion #someone super familiar with autism and it’s complexities #suddenly I’m an abliest asshole who hates autistic people #and I suck for blaming my sibling even though I literally never blame my sibling #rae’s rambles #delete later #glass child

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whalehouse1 · 1 year

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“I can’t believe people talk horribly about them. God they treat them awfully just because of how they look.”

“They’re mass murdering terrorists Rebecca.”

#al ghul family #ra’s al ghul #talia al ghul #nyssa al ghul #mara al ghul #I forgot her father’s name but I think it starts with a D #I want to say this is a joke but seriously #it’s like ppl defending Harley even though she killed a basement of orphans they’re bad people #although I’ll be honest I’m just happy when ppl call them Arabic at this point #a cult leader with the ego of Ra’s would not learn Arabic to talk to followers or to blend into the area #or let anyone with a view that didn’t hold him up as the greatest to be allowed into the league #you can call it whatever you want but the league is by all accounts a cult of personality #and I just pictured him having a meeting with Trump and am terrified

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britneyshakespeare · 27 days

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i have been working with kids for four years and i had to write my first ever note just now about a seventh grade boy being inappropriate towards me. i don't know what the hell this could possibly lead to or what. he was trying to feel my legs repeatedly to the point where i had to stop sitting next to him (and i was subbing for his one-to-one para!!!). he's got high support needs. in that kind of job, you're supposed to sit next to them all day and look over their work.

the teacher whose classroom this was happening in could also tell something was wrong. the whole class was acting kinda crazy because it was the day before school vacation week and there was another class coming in to share projects. so like, he was swamped with keeping order already. but we were sitting two feet away from his podium at the front of the room. the kid was giving him and me a hard time when he wouldn't take out his chromebook as he was instructed. and then when he did take out his chromebook, he immediately, for some reason, places it on my lap. he had been ogling my legs the whole time. he puts his computer ON MY LAP. and i'm just like, stunned, because what the hell? can you not keep it on your own lap, for some reason? i don't even know what to say, i just hold it a little above my lap while i'm thinking why on earth would this be happening? he would NOT do this to his regular para if she were here, would he? this can't be normal.

and the teacher sees this and within a minute places a stool in front of the kid for him to put his laptop on. and i'm like. oh ok. yeah. he notices exactly what's happening and that that's not appropriate. and then when the other class comes in to share projects he tells me "miss b——, you don't actually have to sit next to c—— this whole period if you don't want to." and he grabs me a chair for me to go sit with the other paras in the back opposite corner of the room. like he KNEW. and thank you mr. d—— for recognizing that because i was just kind of shocked and didn't know if i was overreacting in my head to all of this.

when there's a point in the class where the kids are discussing stuff, i privately mention what's happened to the para who's sitting closest to me. and she says that the thing about him calling me pretty is something he's been known to do, but the fact that he kept trying to touch my legs is new behavior. and that's a completely different class of behavior. i was telling him NO, don't do that, and he kept doing it. and the fact that he was calling me pretty repeatedly, even when i was giving him instructions that he wasn't taking. and this is the second to last class before the end of the day, so she says she'll take a walk with him before learning center and talk to him about it, and i'm grateful for that. she does. the kid apologizes to me as soon as i come into learning center. but like. WHAT the hell.

i'm STILL like what the hell. this is unfathomable to me. the other adults who i told about this or who witnessed it were supportive of me. but. what to do??? i wrote a long note to his regular para about this, because i knew she was going to hear about it at least from the first para i told. the second para i told about it after school had a kind of... i'm not gonna say enabling reaction, but i suppose since it had already been "taken care of" (or at least, he had been spoken to and apologized) she didn't really have much to add in the way of discipline. i told her what happened after school and she was just like... a little bit, laughing? like oh, yup, that dog. she at the very least confirmed he KNEW what he was doing, that that was not an accident. she said to me "i had a feeling he was going to develop a crush on you" (me and these other paras were together for most of the beginning of the day too). but it's like. it's not about that.

i have worked with children for FOUR years. children have had crushes on me before; i'm quite unfazed by it. boys from the ages of 5-to-15 have told me i'm so pretty before and asked me to marry them. i've never had them feeling up my legs before. i've never had them making me physically uncomfortable. it's NOT about this seventh grader having a crush on the pretty substitute. he is NOT unusual for that, at all. but i've never had a boy of any age or education level repeatedly touching my knees and thighs. THAT is problem behavior!!!

because what if i wasn't assertive enough with him to tell him to stop? what if i was a girl his age? worse, what if i was an adult who encouraged this behavior? i don't come to the middle school to be a seductress. i had no intention in putting on a pair of tights and a skirt this morning of being viewed as an attractive object, especially not by a pubescent boy. what if i did though? what if his interpretation of me wasn't so incorrect and offensive? what if i let him keep touching me inappropriately and saying flirtatious things to me? me, an adult in my mid-twenties, towards a middle school boy?

in no world would that be ok. if i had been feeling up and overly-complimenting a CHILD at my place of work, holy shit would there be reports about me. so a child acting that way could never be ok either. if it'd be firable for me to be reciprocating that action, then that action should not be happening to me. ever. and that child should never repeat that action again to any other adult again.

like i am simply not there to be treated as an attractive young woman. i put on a skirt that shows too much knee and get paired with a boy, though, and that's apparently just a natural consequence. hooo-ly shit. like i don't know what to do. first of all, the more time passes since this has happened, the more i am just unable to stop thinking about it. i wasn't "hurt" or too emotional in the moment but i'm just still processing it and it gets worse. i'm just more and more disgusted.

i don't know what i expect to come out of this, or the email i sent to his regular para. like, am i gonna have to attend a fucking meeting? what is the precedent that this sets for him? WHY do i feel BAD for him about this? well, because he's a child, of course. a child who has done wrong he may not be able to understand. but he knows WHAT he did. he just doesn't know WHY it was wrong.

and i couldn't even say something to him that was like, "well, how would you like it if i was touching you like this?" because young boys do not understand how inappropriate it'd be. i'm sure this kid thought he was gonna get away with what he was doing at the very least. but probably not unlikely he (being a child with no concept of how wrong it'd be) thought he could get some sort of "positive" attention for treating me like this. either way he was simply doing what he wanted to do, with no perspective of how it would make me feel or that it could be classified as harassment. teenage boys think it'd be awesome if the older attractive woman would reciprocate their affections. they're wrong. i, as the older attractive woman of his affection, cannot be the one to convince him of that, though.

i don't know. i don't know. like it's just so not ok. but if i didn't tell another adult about this, he would've gotten away with it. he would probably do it again. and him being in trouble for it is not the same as him understanding that it was wrong. unless someone has a REAL talk with him about inappropriate attention and consent, it's not unlikely that he'll just repeat the behavior in a setting where he thinks he won't be caught or told on. THAT'S the problem. me, i could just never have to be this boy's para again. in my email, i didn't say that i would never be ok working with or around him ever again. he already knows i didn't like it and i'm not afraid to tell on him; as far as that lesson applies to me, individually, i think he's become too ashamed to repeat that.

i don't know. i don't know. i very much expressed that i, i guess, "forgave" him in the email that i wrote. i clarified that i was writing it for the sake of having it on the record. i think that could potentially be very important for the purposes of preventing further similar or escalating behavior from him in the future. i don't want him to be in trouble. i don't think i will be blamed for this, especially not with how promptly i acted, although i don't know to what extent this will be framed as me thinking i'm a "victim." i'm not... i don't feel victimized. i feel disgusted. i feel afraid for the sake of what could happen to or with him in the future, if he thinks behavior like his towards me today is ok.

i feel like if i end up having to further respond to this, this will be made about me. in a way it kind of was. is? in the moment it was happening, it was certainly about me. because i was the one this boy was giving all this unwanted attention to. but to make the consequences of this about me and to involve me any further, i also don't want. because i said what i said already, i don't care if a student has a crush on me. this isn't about me being the pretty substitute. i'm the pretty substitute all the time, to tons of people. that's not really something i've been concerned about up until now.

but do i have to reexplain my personal embarrassment? that i was wearing a skirt? that he was ogling my legs? really? what more do i have to gain from sharing that, other than having the adults at my place of work confirm or deny me in their heads as the pretty substitute? i don't know. perhaps that's REALLY overthinking it. but i don't want to be the substitute that caused a problem for this special ed kid. i don't wanna be the reason that he can't be around me anymore, the person people think of when they're monitoring how he's acting around girls and young women. i DON'T want to be the one people think of when they think of his past misbehavior. i'm NOT here for that.

that's just fucking humiliating. and in this being a thing that could follow him, i have to be ogled and touched over and over again in people's minds for this to be taken seriously. but for this to be swept under the rug would be even worse, no? i don't know. i hate this. the principal is a nice guy; i wouldn't be surprised if he and/or people from the special ed department reached out to me sympathetically about this. but i don't wanna be reached out to. i don't wanna have ppl i work with tell me "sorry that kid was just so attracted to you he couldn't help himself" like come on. if the kid himself doesn't change then i don't really care to remember this incident. and no one reaching out to me and saying they've talked to this kid will actually prove to me he understands. this is the kind of inappropriate behavior it takes years for people to understand why it was wrong, especially a child who has no idea. i mean come on.

#tales from diana #long post #sorry i should probably put this under a read more but it was just a long stream of consciousness #and idk. im tired. im so tired #do you wanna be known as the substitute teacher a kid kept touching inappropriately? probably not #thank god for the first para i told bc she took it really seriously seemingly. i mean idk what she told him in their conversation #not EXACTLY what she told him. she obviously said this was wrong and she reiterated in learning center again #that if that were her daughter she'd be through the roof and that she'd be telling his regular para #i mean of course i had to tell the regular para directly. i would rather it come from my mouth #i'm the one who has the most information of how and why it happened. i think other ppl telling it would just reduce it to #'he thought she was so pretty and he kept staring at and touching her legs cuz she wore a skirt' like come on #the indignity of that!#i already feel undignified enough.#and also thank god for the social studies teacher. the more im processing this the more im like thank god #i dont know him well. he had already been a nice dude to me before in my interactions w him #like as a sub you notice the people who are really affirming of the strange and irregular work you do #earlier this week i was subbing for the math teacher across the hall for instance and he came in before class started and said #that if anyone's giving me a hard time to just send them to him. bc that group can be a little rowdy/wild #my classroom discipline skills are not that bad where i felt the need to have someone more experienced defend me so to speak #like i know i look young and am assumed to be new. but with most classes. i can handle most misbehavior #i can put my foot down in a way kids normally respect. i know how to keep em on task #and for MOST of the day with this kid that's what i was doing. but if that social studies teacher hadn't done what he did #i might not feel so bold in just straight up walking away from that kid. after saying stop stop stop repeatedly #like he had his own job to do independent of me but i remember the gestures and like. i could cry. he KNEWWWW #that's just a very trustworthy person i feel. he didn't want me to suffer through that any longer #a lot of teachers (unfortunately) largely ignore the kids with paras and/or expect the paras to communicate to the kid exclusively #that teacher is not like that. he was willing to mind that boy while i escaped that situation. so so grateful to him

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