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harmoonix · 3 months

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🍄 Retro - Astro 🍄

(Astrology Observations)

ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯

🍄 - I love to stare in the eyes of the natives with Neptune - Asc aspects, most of my friends have such aspects and they truly have beautiful eyes

🍄 - Pluto in Sagittarius Generation is really meant to give and normalize things back to normal, and for example bringing things that were used in the past and to normalize them again

🍄 - Wanna know why so many Aquarius Suns may act so different and unique? Sun is ruled by Leo and Aquarius is its opposite sign so sun acts different in Aquarius

🍄 - Neptune and Mercury aspects can indicate love for music and most times for old music or old music style, you know liking those songs from the 90's

🍄 - One fast way to learn your sign houses in your birth chart is to know the order of the zodiac signs, this method worked with me for example you have Gemini Rising and Leo Sun > Your sun will be in the 3rd house because Leo is 1 sign (Cancer) apart from Gemini

🍄 - 8°, 20° degrees on the Midheaven attract jealousy really fast, envy too and sometimes can even get hate without a reason, on the other hand people can become obsessed with them

🍄 - Sagittarius in your 4th/12th house axis can come from more nationalities/ethnicity/race like having more than 1 background country ancestry (or your ancestors/family members)

🍄 - Lilith in your 9th/12th or 4th house can indicate ancestors or family members working with the occult/witchcraft/magic/tarot etc...

🍄 - Sun in the 12th house natives have an ongoing karma, basically they are working on their karma constantly

🍄 - Virgo Moon's beauty is underatted, they are so beautiful and they can actually look younger because of the Mercury's youth effect

🍄 - I remember once checking on google about Jupiter in Virgo husband (my sidereal Jupiter placement) and I got this:

I can't tell if this is real or not tbh 😭😭

🍄 - Neptune aspecting Chiron will literally empower your subconscious with a lot of intuition, spirituality like you really have the chance to heal your subconscious in case is hurt with those placements

🍄 - Everyone I know with Cancer Placements gets so DEPRESSED based on the weather, and omg I'm not joking or something if the weather outside is bad they're gonna be depressed or in a bad mood

🍄 - Every time I see someones chart with 10th house placements especially Sun and Venus there I know they got the cash bag 💰💰

🍄 - Not gonna lie knowing how organized Virgo placements are, I think natives with Virgo in the 4th house have the most most most most most most organized house-castle ever just like in Cinderella and everything looking perfect

🍄 - You can spot health problems in a chart by looking at their 6th house sign (both in tropcial and sidereal) looking at the ruler/lord of the 6th house and of course the planets (if there are) in the 6H house

🍄 - Stelliums play a very big role in a chart (A stellium is when you have 3 or more than 3 planets in a house) and indicates a big focus in that area

🍄 - Empty houses play a very big role as well, and an empty house is not a bad thing or something but spirituality talking it indicates an area you already completed in your past life

🍄 - Let me tell you how tricky Venus in Capricorn can be to make you fall in love with matured enough people and sometimes the karma comes and strikes and says "They're not the one for you"

🍄 - Moon in the 9th house is another tricky placement to have because in harsh aspects it can indicate a religious trauma and sometimes it can indicate love for religion/beliefs you understand what I mean...😭😭

🍄 - A lot of people who happens to get betrayed have Pluto/Saturn Lilith and sometimes Neptune in the 11th house, (I know all the people can get betrayed but these are just some indicators

🍄 - Sagittarius/Jupiter in the 11th house can be blessed with friends or in general having luck with their friendships and social networks, sometimes their friends can come from a different background than them

🍄 - Mercury at 10°, 22° degrees really can have a deeper voice than others (depends on aspects) but their voice is so damn attractive

🍄 - Uranus and Lilith in the 5th house can get confused if they will want or not to have kids like is difficult and in the same time draining for them (Lilith in general in that house natives don't want kids but is just my thoughts on it)

🍄 - Sagittarius Midheaven/Midheaven in the 9th house or in Sagittarius Degrees 9°, 21° really need to chose something the job/career they're passionate about because it grants them luck

🍄 - Midheaven at Aries Degrees 1°, 13°, 25° or MC in Aries have a big chance to get a leader position at their job or having the main character energy

🍄 - I tell you Gemini Moons and Moon in the 3rd house natives have the best tea ("Tea" as a gen z slang means gossip) like gossips stories i honestly wonder from where or who they know so many things im so invested y'all 😭😍

🍄 - 2nd house and the Moon Sign represent food in the birth chart, and I know water/earth ones love sweets so much

🍄 - If you want to know more about your true self check your Ascendant ruler persona chart, AND if you have 2 planets rulers check both persona charts for ex if you are Scorpio Risings check your Mars and Pluto persona charts, sadly for Leo Risings their natal chart is pretty much their true self (There is no Sun persona chart😭)

🍄 - Leo in the 7th house can have the same problem like your natal chart pretty much tells you about your future spouse because there is no Sun persona chart to look for in case you wanna look for your 7th house ruler persona chart 😭

🍄 - Cancer Risings in your D9 (vedic) chart can indicate a nurturing spouse or in general your partner has a very nurturing and kind energy

🍄 - I admire 6th house Placements for how much they want to keep themselves healthy like is a top priority and i respect that so much, because your health matters so much in life ♥️♥️♥️🙌🏼

🍄 - Aries Placements especially Aries Juno I love their energy. They just give that leader and confident/powerful vibe (boss vibe) in the chart also someone very bold and funny I love them

🍄 - Draconic Chart is the chart of your soul before reincarnation/coming to earth and the placements are indicating how your soul expected to be on earth (like their life), and im gonna cry I have Saturn in the 7th house in this chart as well. my soul knew I will have to wait for that specific person to come 😭 I'm done...

🍄 - Mercury in the 11th house makes socially open natives they get along so good with most people because of their social skills, they're also smart, creative and very open minded too

🍄 - Pluto in the 12th house has a chance to become very powerful in this life because this placement usually indicates an painful karma, you will certainly experience a lot of good and bad things in your current life

💝 This post was more like at a spiritual level 💝

Be blessed you all who read my observations 💝

ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯

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cdlum · 5 months

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I just wanted to say I think your art style is awesome! I was wondering if you had any tutorials on how you draw anatomy in your style (hips and legs especially)? Sorry if there's already one posted and I just didn't see it 🥲. Happy New Year :>

thanks for the kind words. i tend to draw people pretty stylized and then some so a good bit of artistic licence gets used. these tips are just what i use so feel free to take them with a grain of salt. with anatomy in particular you can kind of talk in circles because human/animal bodies are that complex so ill just zone in on the points you specified. here's a little image with a bunch of pointers:

the above image condenses a lot of the points I'd make, but basically the key parts are to start with the bare essentials and build up that complexity. using a line of action is a good way to get a quick, rough start. you draw a line out in the general direction of the pose and do your best to adhere to it to give the pose a sense of flow.

you can also draw smaller, thumbnail versions that throw a lot of caution to the wind but capture the basic energy of what you're going for. even having a tiny little stick figure version of your idea can make for a good guideline of where to take it forward.

when it comes to actual limbs, you wanna consider how they integrate and work together, kind of like how chains do. you can see on some of the parts of pear i've drawn out these wireframes to kind of portray how the mass of her legs works in a three dimensional space. for aspects like the waist/hips, i use that X technique i highlight above a lot, particularly for the lower torso. a lot of the times, even when drawing a character totally naked, imagining them wearing things like skintight underwear can help a lot to guide you in the right direction.

its also a good idea to consider things like gravity and weight to a degree. humans are essentially big meat sacks and gravity is always pulling down on that, but theres all kinds of aspects that effect that, such as character build or clothing. pear technically isn't naked in this, but i've tried to imagine her as such and take that into account.

if you are drawing digitally, don't be afraid to take advantage of the convenience you get with that workflow. you can retry and iterate on things a lot faster that pen and paper, and do things that aren't really feasible at all when it comes to editing and modifying your existing work. things like resizing certain bodyparts, instantly flipping the canvas, or using selection tools to completely adjust the positions of parts of your drawing. to give you an example heres a timelapse with all the little edits i made just to this demo drawing:

you don't have to use these techniques linearly, either. sometimes ill have a really solid idea for a piece in my head, and go back to basics with certain elements if they’re not coming out right or i just want to brush them up a bit more. some of the tutorial-y parts i added in i didn't actually use during the drawing but often do use so they're there just for demonstration. not every drawing i do starts as building blocks or a really basic version, often ill just start with a face and build it out from there.

i always encourage liberally using references (this can include yourself) and trying out stuff like life drawing or looking at things like existing photographs of real people/places/things if you can, the more you use learning material the better you'll draw up a mental inventory in your head that you can rely on more and more. some of these tips are things i've learned from other artists over the years (the chin one especially i remember seeing a tutorial about lol), so this is a lot of knowledge i've amassed from other sources over time myself. there are plenty of times ill use all sorts of reference material and its all in service of arriving at the final destination as smoothly as possible. learn by doing, as they say. hope this helps!

#tutorial #2024

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strwbrythoughts · 8 days

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time's up | dr. veritas ratio

The doctor - also known as your husband - has come to refine your problem-solving skills, particularly in mathematics.

A/N: This man is insufferable but I simp because smart + muscles = hot!!! Also can you see me projecting onto this and wdym i don't like triangles, ngl i accidentally switched to first person pov at the ending 💀 this is why i need to find time to write in my busy busy schedule

Divider by @/osqrie

"You have 15 minutes to solve these questions. You may begin."

The soft click of the digital stopwatch in his right hand sounded louder than ever to your ears. Your eyes went from his soft, smiling face - which in itself, was a rarity - towards the questions printed on the single sheet of white, A4-sized paper on your desk. They were all mathematics equations. Every single one was an integration-related question.

You always thought that you could escape the topics you didn't like after finishing your studies in the undergraduate level. Life had been pretty smooth-sailing after graduation; you opened a cute and cozy bakery, you married a genius, lived in a comfortable home, have and maintain a loving relationship...but this. This was the least of what you would expect. Being tutored and tested on the one subject you refused to take back in university.

Or perhaps it was your mistake when you told him your weak points in the academic aspect of yourself. That was a side effect of marrying a genius, you supposed...or a 'Mundanite' as he would use to refer to himself.

But you couldn't think of that now. You had a test to complete, and you didn't want to receive his punishment for not being able to do so within the given timeframe. His eyes could be felt on you, as if burning into your body and directly gazing at the very essence of your soul. The rise in your heartbeat and downturned gaze highlighted how nervous you felt to answer this paper.

After taking a deep breath to clear your head, you observed the questions carefully. There were 3 questions, and all of them were pretty easy to solve (or at least, that was what the instructions said). The first two questions were fine; only including polynomials and exponents respectively. As you got to the third question though...you couldn't say it was 'fine'.

It included one of your most disliked topics...trigonometry.

Granted, the trigonometry was pretty simple, but you never seemed to be able to wrap your head around how so many formulas could be derived from them. When Veritas explained it to you in one of your tutoring sessions, you asked for more breaks than usual since you had put a barrier in your mind; 'I will never understand this'; which in turn, made the topic seemed harder than it actually was.

The soft 'ding!' of the bell on my desk reminded you that you had five minutes left for this last question. You gulped, hoping your nervousness would be swallowed away as well. His eyes were glued to the back of your head; not that you dared to look behind my shoulder at the moment.

Every second counts after all, even if you had no clue what steps you should take to solve the problem on the paper.

Your brain seemed to malfunction and your memorisation skills failed you right this moment. You didn't remember the basic formulas, and you didn't know how to derive them from the triangles either. With no viable options left, you decided to unleash your expertise; cooking up your own theories.

'Ah, he's definitely punishing me for this...' was the only thought floating in your brain. Autopilot mode was switched on, and your hand glided across the paper, writing down whatever nonsense that seemed to be related to trigonometry, regardless whether they were correct or not.

The digital stopwatch in Veritas' hand had reached its last minute; the fifteenth minute. "Time's up," his voice bounced off the white walls right into your ears. "Put down your pen and stop writing."

Although reluctant, you did not wish for a heavier punishment. His words were followed by the sound of the pen being put onto the wooden desk. Within seconds, he was stood right next to your desk, using his index finger and thumb to pick up the piece of paper.

His eyes scanned my answers, going from left to right as he inspected each line of working. There was a faint smile on his lips...until it was gone.

Gulp.

He had definitely seen the absolute mess you made on the last question.

A slam onto the wooden desk; you swore you heard the wood crack a little bit. "Did I not teach you this last question?" You could barely reply. His tone was dripping with condescension, but you didn't take offence from it. Both you and him knew he had the right intentions, but his ways wouldn't be able to satisfy everyone.

"You did! I...I just didn't like it."

Veritas let out a 'tsk' thrice, seeming almost animated as he did so. "You do know what you have to do now, right? So come on, what are you waiting for? Is time not ticking?" He took a seat on his chair, eyes looking straight into mine.

You sighed, preparing your facial muscles...as you climbed into his lap. Ah yes, the 'one hundred kisses or you're not leaving this room' punishment. A classic, really. Your lips peppered his face, landing on each part like the first snow of winter; gentle and heartwarming.

"Lunchtime is nearing, so you better carry out your responsibility quickly and dutifully, dear. You'd hate to have lunch at 4 PM again, hm?"

Ah, crap! He was right! Better get to work now!

Thank you for reading!

#berry writes #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #star rail #star rail x reader #dr ratio #dr ratio x reader #veritas ratio #veritas ratio x reader #hsr veritas

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relaxxattack · 8 months

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Piggybacking off the last anon, what is it you like about Jane so much? I find my feelings on her kind of mixed but I lean towards positive.

okay i haven’t read act six in probably like 5 years so bear with me here. *cracks knuckles*

jane is sooo so interesting and it’s really a shame people miss like everything fun about her.

pre-scratch she used her detective work to literally succeed at tearing down the crocker cooperation, to the point that HIC has to fucking abandon ship and head into another universe to have another shot at her evil empire. pre-scratch jane is also fucking hilarious! if you didnt enjoy her antics with john as nannasprite you must just have no heart

meanwhile HIC breaches a new universe, and her FIRST fucking order of business is to NEUTRALIZE JANE CROCKER because of how goddamn detrimental she was to HIC’s plans the first time around.

not ONLY does HIC pump subliminal messaging and brainwashing into nearly every aspect of jane’s life, she also tries to straight up mind control her basically whenever possible! she ALSO sends assassination attempts after jane 24/7! (people will seriously try to say that jane lived a safe normal life… as if she wasn’t almost killed by walking into her backyard.) this is because HIC is fucking scared of jane, as she very well should be!

jane is also NOT a boring weepy annoying crybaby like everyone and their mother complains about. jane is literally the most fucking supportive friend and emotion-repressing dumbass you could ever hope to meet. jane combines john’s emotional repression and jade’s intentional cheerfulness together into one of the most fucked up cases of emotional repression in the whole comic

act 6 suffers from a LOT of shitty writing choices, but it’s not jane’s fault the whole act turns into a soap opera— and she’s ALSO not the only one who acts all soap-opera-y either! literally all of the alpha kids suffer from this, people just like jane the least so they project it all onto her. despite the fact that she did her very fucking best to NEVER talk about her feelings, to the point where she ONLY started telling people about shit when she was mind-controlled or took mind altering substances to make her do so! and you can say “ohhh that’s stupid she shouldn’t repress things in the first place how dumb” but, one she’s sixteen, and two, everyone eats that shit up when it comes from like. literally any other character.

people (cough hs2 writers) act like she would actually be “pushy” with a relationship on jake— as if she wasn’t literally the one who helped him make the decision to explore dating dirk?? because she thought it was the right thing to do???

jane is incredibly thoughtful and mature and people really throw all of those traits out of the window with preference for a version of the story where she Comes Inbetween Their Fave Gay Pairing as if she wasn’t, again, the one who got them together. jane is also extremely interesting in terms of queerness; she’s got the makings of a really interesting arc, not to mention she’s the only human girl that dresses mainly masc! there’s a lot there that people just don’t care to explore.

people just have less patience for the prospit kids in general. not to mention homestuck fans love to be misogynistic and berate jane for stuff they love the men doing, or claim she’s coming between them when she’s not, etc etc. and then because no one was writing fun meta posts about her, nobody ever rereads the comic to grab little scenes or lines to expand the online discussion about her! and then because there’s no discussion about her, people assume she’s boring and don’t go looking for bits to start discussing, which cycles on and on forever until we have the ripple effects we see of that misogyny today. which mostly consists of, “oh i hate jane because she was a villain is hs2”, or, “i know hs2 isn’t canon but i still don’t care for jane because she doesn’t do anything that interests me.” (and she’s only not interesting because of the cycle i mentioned before causing NO ONE to have meta discussion about her).

idk, it’s been a while since ive read so i could be talking out my ass but that’s what i’ve got.

TL;DR: jane is fucking COOL, she just suffers from intentional fandom ignorance. and she’s also a canonically hot, fat, masc woman, so i don’t know what else you could possibly want.

#oh god i didn’t mean for this to get so long #lol i hope this helped????#jane crocker #homestuck #op #hsmeta #long post

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libellule-ao3 · 3 months

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NSFW Alphabet | Dark!Ominis

Picture Credit: @dvinaamesca

Hello,

Somebody asked me for it, so here it is.🙂

Summary: Some of my smutty headcanons about Dark!Ominis, collected under the "NSFW alphabet" template.

🔞| SMUT | Head-Canon

⚠️ The "Dark!" in Dark!Ominis shows an alternative version exploring the darker aspects of Ominis' personality. According to my version, Dark!Ominis is possessive, dominant and manipulative, which implies elements with dub-con and non-con!

Other tags: domination, possessive ominis, manipulation, erotic asphyxiation, unforgivable curses, praise kink, blood pact, etc....

Since Dark!Ominis is a darker version of my perception of Ominis, some elements of this article may echo my NSFW alphabet of Ominis Gaunt or my HC: Ominis, his eyes & his experience as a blind wizard

Masterlist

A = Aftercare

After turning you into an amorphous, trembling wreck, Dark!Ominis likes to stay snuggled until your last shudder, his head against your chest to listen to the rapid beating of your heart, which beats only for him.

Then he looks after your well-being, taking care of your basic needs such as the care of your injuries inherent in the intensity of your lovemaking (bruises, chafing, burns, etc.), hygiene, diet and hydration. During this process, he wraps you in a softness that is so comforting it surprises you the first time, forcing him to remind you that you belong to him and that Ominis Gaunt, however dark he may be, always takes care of what belongs to him! Don’t forget that!

B = Body part

Ominis loves your skin. Its texture, its warmth, its smell... It’s both the direct interface with your soul and the playground where he can exert his power over you. He alone has the privilege of setting it on fire, making it quiver, marking it, breathing it, tasting it, hurting it and even... repairing it, for the pleasure of starting all over again.

C = Cum

Cumming in you is an affirmation of his total domination. However, his refusal to perpetuate his cursed lineage and his categorical refusal to share you means he will only release himself inside you if you have effective contraception. If not, he will impose one on you, and you should know that he will not hesitate to rip out any life that dares to take root in you.

D = Dirty secret

Although not normally given to exhibitionism, Dark!Ominis sometimes imagines reaffirming his exclusive possession of your charms before the entire world, especially when he witnesses the desire you arouse in someone else. Rather than act out his fantasies in the public arena, he prefers to eliminate any rivalry by cunningly imposing unshakeable bonds, such as an inviolable oath or a blood pact. And all to seal your commitment to each other.

E = Experience

If not an experienced man, Dark!Ominis is an intuitive, well-informed and terribly possessive one whose sole aim is to make you inextricably dependent on him. So he’s fervently committed to outdoing the competition, leaving such an ardent mark that even in your fantasies, it’s impossible to imagine anyone else being able to satisfy you.

F = Favourite position

His favourite position is to have you, bound and helpless, your perfection stretched out suggestively, ready to be savoured, punished or screwed as you deserve. This way, he has full control over what he gives you.

He also likes to have you, standing, chained with your arms and legs spread wide, every inch of your body quivering, accessible and ready to suffer the slightest of his whims.

G = Goofy

Dominating you and turning your body into a ruin of total dependence on him is too serious a matter to laugh at.

H = Hair

Particularly self-aware, Dark!Ominis always makes sure his appearance is impeccable so as not to attract unwanted attention. So he takes care of his appearance and trims his modest body hair. He expects you to do the same, even shaving your private area himself, turning the moment into a unique experience that’s as sensual as it is dangerous - and, much to your chagrin, horribly arousing.

I = Intimacy

The few people he’s ever loved deeply have all left him in the end, and he lives in fear that you, the only person he wants by his side, will leave him too. That’s part of the reason Dark!Ominis seeks intense intimacy during your lovemaking. It strengthens your bond and therefore his hold over you, giving him feel security. It soothes his anxieties about losing you and makes the love you’re supposed to feel for him tangible.

J = Jack off

When he was a teenager, Dark!Ominis saw masturbation as a lack of control over his impulses and, because of his strict upbringing, he associated it with depravity. As a result, he strongly repressed his sexual needs rather than satisfying them.

Today, he’s perfectly comfortable with his sexuality and his darkest desires, but he doesn’t jerk off. Why should he when you’re a slave to his lust?

K = Kink

In his eyes, your total submission is embodied in the ecstasy of erotic asphyxiation.

Closing his hand around your offered throat, savouring your life pulsing under his fingers as he possesses you in the most absolute way, holding the ultimate power of having your existence at his mercy is the quintessence of his domination. He loves to deprive you of oxygen while the pleasure builds and contracts in your core like a spring, and then for you to take in all the air, he allows you to take in as the lust surges through your body, flooding every cell.

It may seem paradoxical, but Dark!Ominis has an enormous need for validation. Receiving your praise reinforces his sense of control and power over you. Also, your praise boosts his self-esteem, which has been damaged by his traumas, and reduces his anxiety about you leaving him.

Like Ominis, he also enjoys temperature play for the variety and sensory intensity.

Dark!Ominis excels at summoning snakes, albino cobras, using the Snake Summons Spell. Far from being mere creatures, his sinister and sensual hissing transforms these reptiles into instruments of immobilisation, torture or, to your shame, pleasure.

L = Location

As soon as you agree to submit to his authority, he orchestrates your immediate removal to his lair, a place where he exercises total control over his environment and over you. In his territory, you have no choice but to bend to his wishes.

In the event of merit or misconduct outside, he uses spells to ensure your privacy while he rewards you or inflicts the punishment you deserve.

As a game, he sometimes takes pleasure in tormenting you discreetly with his fingers or his wand at social events, thus asserting his dominance and constantly reminding you of who you belong to.

M = Motivation

You. No more, no less. When you provoke him, when your kindness envelops him like a soft, warm blanket, when he feels your gaze weighing on him, the smell of your arousal, the jealousy, the need for affection... You and more you...

N = No

Dark!Ominis can be manipulative to get what he wants from you, and he enjoys hurting you until it gives you pleasure. But, dark as he is, unforgivable curses are his red line. He knows that imperius and even cruciatus curse are sometimes used for erotic, but he categorically refuses.

Cuckolding: You belong to him and exclusivity is the pillar of your relationship. Under these conditions, sharing you with someone else makes no sense.

69: When he’s eating you, Ominis refuses to be distracted by anything, even if it’s your greedy mouth.

O = Oral

Destroying your throat with his cock is certainly the most delicious tihing ever. But he also likes to savour what is rightfully his.

P = Pace

He usually savours every moment, taking pleasure in correcting you, forcing your body into submission if you upset him. While his tempo flirts with his changing moods, one constant remains: the amplitude of his movements. He loves to feel every inch of his length opening up your walls, pulling out before thrusting back into you, hard, until his hips slam against yours again and again.

Q = Quickie

He prefers to take his time. However, to punish you and remind you he owns you, he may sometimes force your body to accommodate him to his selfish climax and leave you frustrated with the desire he’s aroused despite you.

R = Risk

Dark!Ominis experiments a lot at beginning your relationship in order to study your reactions, test your limits, and then push them back. But once he’s analysed you, he generally sticks to tried and tested practices.

S = Stamina

Dark!Ominis has patience and determination in spades. Whether he’s punishing you or rewarding you, he can deal with you for hours on end.

T = Toys

Like Ominis, Dark!Ominis disdains the use of toys. They hinder his connection to the nuances of the reactions he provokes (he's already deprived of his sight, he needs to perceive all your sensations). However, he revels in a luxuriant range of accessories and spells to intensify your sessions,

U = Unfair

Dark!Ominis can be profoundly unfair, revelling in the simple pleasure of hearing you beg and sob, pleading for deliverance.

One of his favourite torments is to explore and then relentlessly push back the limits of your pleasure, whether by forcing your orgasms or delaying them.

What’s more, if you’re in need of punishment, Dark!Ominis won’t hesitate to keep you on the edge, making you look forward to a more intense climax than ever, before destroying the orgasm you covet more than anything, thus reinforcing his dominance over you.

V = Volume

His acute self-awareness means that he muffles against you or in his hand the sounds that want to come out of his mouth. However, he demands that you release every cry, every groan, every gasp, and that your lips proclaim to the world who owns you.

W = Wild card

Dark!Ominis is possessive, manipulative, and dominant. However, if he’s in a familiar environment, he may accept a temporary reversal of roles, either to reward you or for strategic reasons.

X = X-ray

Dark!Ominis is tall, slim... His skin is as clear as porcelain, a constellation of moles stretching from his flank to his pubis. His nipples are the same pink as his lips. While not exceptional, Dark!Ominis is rather well equipped in length and girth, straight as an ‘I’.

Y = Yearning (libido)

Before he met you, he had no trouble controlling his libido. Everything’s different now. This upheaval upsets him far more than he’d like, which partly explains his enthusiasm for punishing you.

Z = Zzz

Dark!Ominis struggles with various sleep disorders that are strangely comforted when you sleep in his arms. He has given up trying to understand why, and is content to savour the mystery.

#hogwarts legacy #ominis gaunt #dark!ominis #ominis smut #ominis x reader #hogwarts legacy ominis #ominis x mc

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mysumeow · 9 months

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ꗃ LYNEY NSFW ALPHABET 1/2

warnings: afab genitalia, mentioned use of bra for reader, crossdressing mentions, gn pronouns.

a/n: finally. i hit the right balance. i didnt not go on a tangent with each letter like i did with previous alphabets TvT

PART TWO › MASTERLIST ‹

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Lyney gets so cuddly that it's unbelievable how clingy he can get. He's clinging to you like you're his lifeline and will get pouty if you insist on leaving the bed. "Won't you spend some time cuddling your dear lover?" he would say.

On days when he's even more needy, you'll have to resort to negotiations (like letting go of you under the promise of getting showered together, for example).

B = Body part (their favorite body part and their partner’s)

I'm going to be real with you, chief. One would think it’s his hands, because not only does he work magic on cards but also between your legs. But no, it’s his legs, in my humble opinion. Why else do you think he wears shorts? To show off his legs. /j And, also, the harness. That simple but effective piece of accessory is key to bringing attention to his legs.

Likewise, in his partner’s, it's also their legs. You cannot be around Lyney wearing shorts or something that shows your thighs because he’s going to be touchy.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically).

Lyney’s pretty average in terms of how much he cums, the taste, how far it shoots, and the refractory period. If anything, he’s above average in how much he cums, but not by much. He enjoys seeing your face covered in cum and watching you lick the remains off when you finish sucking him off.

D = Dirty secret (self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He would like to cross-dress and experiment with having sex with you in a place like a fitting room. The thrill of having to keep your voice down excites him. Although he’s aware it might not be as viable as he would like to think it is, considering there’s a risk of being found out and it could tarnish both his and Lynette’s reputations, Would that little fantasy ever come true? Probably not. Lyney can’t keep his voice down for the life of him.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Despite his outgoing and charismatic personality, he has had one or two close romantic relationships. He gives me the impression of being that type of person who’s friendly to everyone, and people love him, but it’s hard to actually get to know him past that amicable exterior.

No matter how limited his experience is, he’s got the advantage of having skilled hands. So he’s got a head start in that regard.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He’s a romantic at heart; he wants to see your face and kiss you throughout the whole thing. Whichever position allows him to do that automatically checks the box for him. He��s inclined to do it with you on his lap and facing each other. For Lyney, there’s nothing more intimate than being able to appreciate in detail the faces and voices a lover makes during sex.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He has his moments of being stupid, but it’s to set a lighthearted mood. Does he implement his silly little magic tricks in the bedroom? I think he would do stuff like undo your bra with just one hand and in like a split second, for example. Or getting rid of an article of clothing when you least expect it.

H = Hair (how well-groomed are they? etc.)

Yeah eyeah he trims. He doesn’t appreciate how messy that place can get if left unattended.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

The first word that comes to mind is sensuous. Lyney could start off with a lighthearted mood and joke a bit here and there, but then it escalates to a more sensible feel. He’s attentive to each one of your needs to ensure the experience is as pleasurable for you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He somehow finds the time to do it once every day. On days when there’s no performance to be done, he even does it twice. High libido, as expected from someone of his age. Probably has one or two toys.

#genshin smut #lyney smut #/ᐠ - ˕ -マ .. smut

198 notes · View notes

1-49 · 3 months

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third times’s a charm

pairing: f!reader × chanyoung, sungchan ⁝ tags: rain. tokyo. & love at first sight / fluff. gets lil angsty. wc. 3.1k

note: this has been in my drafts ever since those two pictures dropped, & basically, this whole thing is just an extension of what sorta of mood they inspired. ik it’s kind of late but i love the atmosphere, so im posting it anyway.

All this waiting ─── Holding out for the storm to pass. Stuck in traffic and waiting. Waiting for the bus at a crowded bus stop.

Since the idiotic weather app on your phone was unable to foresee such a severe downpour, you are without an umbrella. You find yourself standing like a cat caught in the rain after spending a perfect sunny afternoon exploring Tokyo’s streets.

Neither the metro nor the two buses that have come & gone are going in your direction. More room and privacy for yourself as the majority of passengers board the buses and lessen the crowded, small, glassed station—for which you are grateful. After trying your luck twice, you are stuck waiting for the third bus.

The peculiar scent of rain on asphalt fills your nostrils as you accept your bad luck & attempt to take solace in the rain, the foggy lights of the passing traffic & the bright neon signs that give the city its unique flavor. There are a variety of sounds in the street, ranging from soft and loud to melodic and even disorienting.

You seem like such a loser out in the rain. The end effect of running so fast and not caring where you step is clumps of hair and muddy shoes, followed by ten minutes of waiting. You are glad you didn’t wear too much makeup for today’s walk because you’d have looked like a total wreck. Smugly, you try to adjust your mascara and eyeshadow in your little mirror and pretend it’s fine.

And so, you concentrate on the raindrops as they land in a specific dip in the pavement, creating tiny air bubbles that rise to the surface like bubbles in a champagne glass. This little world seems to be what fascinates you about Tokyo at the moment, despite its vast size.

That is when the two giants casually stroll into the safe haven you have found in all the fast life.

The two towering frames jostle one another in this terrifying performance that the sky is putting on, laughing at something so ridiculous that you have to wonder how they can do it. The evening sky is practically ripping at its seams, but they do not seem to notice.

Their laughter is contagious as they battle for space under a transparent umbrella that the taller one is holding. Their bodies are too broad for the protective gear, and they seem to lose simultaneously because most of their opposing shoulders and arms are soaked. For the tiny spaciousness they seek but don’t find, the pair comes across as endearing and humorous. You realize there is beauty in the fact that neither of them seems to mind. They remain upbeat and truly unaffected, which is inspiring.

That they are close friends is highly likely. They are even dressed alike. One is wearing green cargo pants and the other over-dye jeans, both with black upper apparel.

They could be mistaken for twins due to their dangerous synchronicity. Not like born together. Not fused like the two sides of an oyster encasing a precious pearl. However, exactly opposites, much like the two sides of a mirror. Equally stunning, and in their case, the pearl is their friendship.

The sounds of the city fade, and you feel every nook and cranny in your body thudding as you witness them make the spontaneous decision to wait for a bus.

The ‘polar twins’ resemblance they give off is unfair.

While the cargo boy’s carefree demeanor gives hours of silly photos and odd Tik Toks, funny videos, and Twitter drama, the headphones hanging around his neck pay close and serious attention to music, which you thoroughly appreciate. This particular aspect of him almost instantly makes you fall in love.

But the taller boy doesn’t fall behind either;

he closes the umbrella as soon as he enters the glassed area. His hand clasped around his brown cashmere cardigan radiates warmth and comfort, and his strikingly bare collarbones radiate needs and dreams. His contradictory aura clouds your judgment and prevents you from making further assumptions about his interests in basketball, games, and literature.

The tip of the umberlla accidentally bumps into your arm when he closes it, revealing his slight clumsiness.

His regret is evident in his eyebrows even before he says, “Sorry.” His eyes widen with it. Lovely and compassionate, with a hint of mocha. Like there is freshly brewed coffee swirling around inside his crystals.

Sparks shimmer up your arms as you watch and listen to his apology and say that it’s nothing.

The music boy’s position is to your left, as the ‘clumsy’ guy shifts to your right, which he does not realize until he apologizes.

With obvious happiness, the music boy inserts himself and begins to tease him. “He acts that way all the time, so don’t worry. If his good looks don’t work to get him noticed, he will try playing on his clumsiness.”

You can be sure that the ‘clumsy’ guy is pouting and sulking over the nonsense that was just said, even though your eyes are finally turning to the person who is seeking them.

There is an eternal smile on the face of the goofier of the two. One of those smiles that can break through the clouds and stop the rain. A ray of light, really. He breaks through the barriers of your heart with his quiet voice too. The fact that he can capture your heart with such ease and beauty is just a crime.

They may have looked the same in one frame, but now that they are essentially standing on either side of you, they are starting to show more of their charm. It gets harder to be between two extremely attractive giants as their individuality starts to emerge.

You have a sneaking suspicion that the boy you are looking at is the younger one.

And while the bright colors of the city match his mischievousness, his confidence has a short fuse. This becomes apparent when he stops coming up with new jokes for his friend and stays staring at you for longer than fifty seconds.

Before you know what the two of you are doing, his smile spreads across your face like sunlight does on tulips in the early spring. It’s an inadvertent eye lock until he realizes it’s too much. It really melts your heart to discover that he is a shyer one, and you end up melting right into the rain puddle that is at your feet.

You then take up your previous posture, facing forward. For a brief while, they distracted you from the fact that you were waiting for a bus to the hotel. As you take a big swallow, there is an odd quietness among the three of you.

You cannot help but wish that some of them would speak up and say something. Why you want this to go on is beyond you, but you want it to. Their bodies radiate a warmth that suffocates you while simultaneously providing warmth against the chilly autumn breeze. This brings you back to the point where you’re mentally cursing your app for tricking you because you were totally unprepared for today’s outing.

‘Soft eyes’, as in literally, hands you the sweather he was holding as soon as he notices that you’re shivering.

It pains you to try to turn down his offer, but you do.

Still, he refuses to accept it. “You can give it back as soon as one of our buses arrives. Keep it till then.” Ignoring your protests, he carefully places the soft wool in your hands. You have no choice but to comply with his insistence. “Besides, I don’t need it.”

You raise your gaze to him and once more meet his eyes—this time with a smile added.

You remember that when he bumped into you, he was trying to hide a smile so that he could apologize more sincerely, which means you haven’t been a witness to his smile just yet.

However, his smile has the same profound effect on you as the guy on the other side. You are sure the sun is in his heart too, just as much as it’s in his eyes. His kindness is his beauty. Very soft; almost as soft as a ball of cashmere, or similar to his cardigan’s overly long sleeves as you play with them.

Given their earlier recklessness, you would never have trusted two random boys to be this kind. So gracious as to lay you two of their favorite accessories in your possession.

One is keeping you warm, and the other, after being prodded to share the song he has been working on, is putting his headphones on you and letting his joy seep through your ears to your bones.

Feeling a little more shy, his breath hits your face, tense and warm as he’s inside. He is pulsing with understanding so as not to invade your personal space while practically failing. As if you couldn’t have done it yourself, he decides to put his headphones on you abruptly. A current is all that is moving him, and not a single conscious brain cell is applying any kind of brake.

The color hits his cheeks when your gaze meets halfway again. He’s being cheeky, though, when he asks, “Are you ready?” while towering over you.

He presses play on the song he composed after you nod with equal enthusiasm.

With the ‘soft guy’ on the right, you’re a little more confident, but when it comes to the ‘shy boy’ in front, you are a complete mess. The prospect that he’s equally as wreaked as you are is the primary cause of your emotions. They are deeply affecting you both, and even though you would prefer to hide in the next bush, you are pursuing each other naively and playfully.

Your smiles are getting bigger as you gaze at one another, but his is weaker, more fragile, as in ‘until the piece I composed gets your pass, I am afraid.’

You close your eyes because you don’t have enough in you to match that.

The outside world ceases to matter as the ambient composition intensifies and begins to resolve inside you.

You explode at the slightest touch from a ‘soft boy’ who leans in close and tries to listen through your headphones.

Since he also expressed dissatisfaction over never having heard the music, you try to be understanding and let him into your space too. He was unable to listen to it earlier due to the ‘it is not completed’ statements. This was his chance. And so, you acknowledge that this evening, everything came together to allow the two of you to feel the excitement of being the first to hear something so exquisite.

The storm itself, you can swear, ceased.

Though the sound of life is muffled by the composition in your eardrums, you can somewhat hear three heartbeats pounding in time with the music. It feels as though nothing matters and yet everything has led up to this.

‘Music boy’ watches your reactions as both of you remain silent, neither of you speaking to disturb the bliss.

This rescue is slow-moving and pleasant compared to Tokyo’s fast life. You find a brief moment of inner tranquility after so much running, fury at the weather, and anger towards the electronic device in your back pocket.

Entirely, you lose yourself in the song, and the way your lashes curl to soften the likely pictures that appear beneath your lids is proof of this. It seems that even in Tokyo, things can come to a stop.

Like a drop of rain in the countryside, your smile is sincere and pure. That is what he has composed, and that is what this is. He has awakened that within you.

Clarity and translucence—opposing to the densely scented city air, which is heavy with the smell of burned street meat and motor oil.

As distinct as the boys standing next to you, everything has a raw beauty.

When you turn to face the taller one, you find that your noses are almost in contact because of how close the headphones have brought his face to yours.

His most beautiful features are dripping with admiration as he gives you the thumbs up. Although you find the signal confusing, you nod because you think it is abrupt and cute.

Upon turning to face the musical prodigy as you currently perceive him—you having no prior knowledge of him—he grins more than ever.

With great anticipation, he asks, “And!?”

“I wish I had a better word to describe it, but it is rather majestic. The melody is lovely and seems to pour love and tranquility indefinitely. It made me feel better. Basically, thank you, is all I have to say.”

“It truly did the same for me,” remarks the tall guy, nodding. “You know, he never lets us listen to his music,” he adds, moving in closer to give the younger person a sweet shoulder shake. “This guy!!”

They both laugh it off, just like they did when they walked in beside you. They are unaware that, with those smiles, they have taken everything from you. However, as soon as you peek at the bus in the distance, read aloud your hotel’s street address, and confirm that it is your route, their smiles become lifeless and hollow almost instantly. In the same instant, the hope that they both brought about vanishes. There is a bittersweet sensation.

Even though you all know the end is near, it seems like no one anticipated it.

All of it comes crashing down: the rain, the hope, the magic, and all three of your desperate sets of eyes that cannot stop staring into each other’s faces. Each microsecond, millisecond, and second matters. Everything was brief at first, then prolonged, and finally just brief again.

“It’s time to return this,” you utter as you remove the cardigan.

Given how chilly the owner’s hands are once you skin-brush them, the wool should feel even warmer in his hands after you return it.

“You must have frozen because of me,” you point out, brows knitted in concern. “I am so sor—”

“No, I am fine, don’t apologize,” he cuts in, unlocking the umbrella as he comes to his senses and accepts the arrival of reality. To protect you from the rain until you board the bus, he says, “Here,” giving you room to move under the umbrella.

Initially, you pout, believing that rejecting him would be best, but eventually, you stop yourself and follow his instructions exactly. It’s time to savor every moment, even if it’s just spending a little time together under an umbrella, before you part ways with them and never see them again.

You remove your headphones and give them back to the cutest prodigy you have ever met. “You should start having more faith in the things you create. That was really beautiful.”

“Thank you!!” The umbrella boy exclaims in his name. “Someone at last to make him begin to realize.”

The younger boy defends himself, smiling, “Shut up.” And, even though he’s well aware that the umbrella was never meant to fit both of them, much less three people, he’s still attempting to squeeze himself under it.

You guys are all biting smiles; there is such innocence and purity to the compressed situation all of you are in. This feeling is far more intense than what you experienced as a teenager witnessing your crash in the hallways. Greater than the scorching feeling you experienced on your first kiss. Which, on the other hand, makes this even more heartbreaking than the first time your heart broke. There is something odd about it all, and it has been a long day at that.

You stay sandwiched between their bodies, which rise on both sides of you as sturdy as a brick wall. You regretfully realize that you cannot be imprisoned between them forever, even though for a brief moment you wish you could.

You can sense the peculiar chemistry has subdued the storm, and it even appears to be stopping the rain. And as it draws near the bus stop, the bus finally lets out its sharp, piercing ‘pissss’ sound. You’re thinking somewhere in the back of your mind about how this sound is going to become your least favorite sound. The noise that will always bother you the most because it’s ruining something so beautiful.

When you look into their faces, all you see is gold dust smeared in their eyes. “I’m glad our paths crossed,” you eventually admit.

They return with the same admiration, though with a sorrowful smile.

They wait until after you get on the bus. They wait for you to get comfortable, knowing that you will take their side and catch your farewell look out the window.

That is precisely what you do; you approach the first seat with that same thought in mind. Rain cascades down the glass, and the windows are a little foggy and difficult to see through due to the warmth inside.

Inside and around your heart, there is a heavy, funny feeling. You make an effort to clear the fog from the window but the moment feels so so hopeless as the bus starts to move. In actuality, all you’re doing is wiping the mist as you attempt to wave goodbye and get a good look at them for the last time. Still, it’s too late.

All that is left to do is gaze for a brief while at the vanishing landscape, registering absolutely nothing.

Finally, you tilt your head back and sigh at the biggest sigh ever. There is a distant echo of a Japanese woman’s voice coming from the bus radio. When you turn on your phone, the first thing you see is your camera folder.

It’s inexplicable why you thought it was necessary to take a picture of them with your phone while simultaneously taking one with theirs. You are left puzzled, staring at the most recent two pictures in your folder.

‘Love is a captured moment,’ you used to say. You get the impression that life is making fun of you.

It becomes really annoying to swipe between the two photos. Their boyfriend vibe is unmatched. Imagination takes over. It seems as though you have never desired anything more.

You carefully touch the screen to enlarge the images, capturing their faces with your fingertips. The attractive strangers in the photos are names you will never know.

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from-izzy · 2 months

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every day is a lovely day... | tbz lee juyeon

pairing » the boyz lee juyeon x gn!reader (lmk if i missed anything)

trope/au » strangers to lovers, non-idol au!, university au!

genre » mostly hurt/comfort(...?), mostly fluff, a pinch of angst (i always say this but i'm kinda confident in this statement this time lmao), deep reflection on life and aspects of the earth, juyeon who basically falls in love with you at first sight, juyeon being kinda confident towards reader, picnic date by the beach after finishing you last exam!, comforting boyfriend chef (not actually his occupation) lee juyeon!

word count, estimated reading time » 2249, ~8 mins

warnings (lmk if i missed anything!) » reader didn't sleep well, reader uses caffeine to battle tiredness, the slightest of academic difficulties (it's just a dash imo), deep thoughts of sea and sky life (not an expert in this field at all), mentions of open water/vast landscapes in the thoughts

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 part of 'especially to you...'

i swear that banner changes colour before my very eyes. because i do understand that it's bright and at first glance, you can barely see the water on the bottom right. but when i change tumblr to a lighter mode, stare at fading wind lines near the top of the image for some time, my eyes adjust and the water becomes very obvious. i think it depends on colour context because on dark mode, it's hard for the 'effects' to kick in. is it just me...? it's messing with me...there has got to be a study about this somewhere...😭 anyway!

(i accidentally released this earlier so for those who saw anything: no you didn't!! 😭)

happy birthday to you @littleroaes !! ngl i was gonna give up on this birthday present but then i was scrolling through and found this little wip and tried to modify it to what you like. i was gonna do f2l like you mentioned you like but my brain stopped making ideas for that as soon as i told myself to write about it 😭 so here's my very first short story on strangers to lovers that thankfully you have appreciation for 🫶 from your profile, i read you like fishes, the colour blue, kimbap, spring rolls and of course, lee juyeon!! 😸 so i tried my best to incorporate these prompts here. i tried something different for the fishes 🐟 topic but i hope this incorporation is fine 💙

here is your boyfriend that will get you through uni! hope you have the happiest birthday!! 🎂🎉 love you!! mwah!!

Everything changed for you when Juyeon walked into your life.

No, literally.

Well, maybe not…literally.

You remember the prominent eyebags you’ve carried for the last month since university started. The new semester has weighed you heavier than the headache that is arising from the lack of sleep and the missed attempt to get your daily caffeine content since you slept through your alarm. At the very least, you’re thankful that everything is now electronic because you are so unprepared to be commuting to campus with a heavy mind, heart, eyelids and straps on your shoulders that would surely give you a very sore back.

That day started horrendously. You really thought that the alarm was the only thing that the universe threw at you for their entertainment but it was the embarrassing fact that you dozed off during class. Your elbows were propped up too comfortably against the desk and the perfect temperature of the lecture room didn't make it any easier for your natural melatonin to kick in. The next thing you knew, your palms cupped your cheek and there was this loud bang that was accompanied by the sharp pain on your cheekbone when you hit the wooden desk.

Everything is going awesome and you just attracted around a hundred students back to you. Thankfully your lecturer didn't take it to offense and shot you an emphatic smile.

You guessed then after that the universe felt bad for the negative attention that you got and they canceled the next class on your filled weekly schedule. Usually, you would be annoyed at the sudden change but this gave you a little hour to bask in the sun, the open green space and your favourite cup of beverage wrapped protectively by your hands.

Only to find out that you left your wallet at home.

“I’m sorry,” you said to the worker who tried her best to reassure you and to take your time as your frantic fingers ran through the items in your bag.

Your knees fell to the ground and sweat started to creep against your forehead and to the side of your head, a silent reminder to be mindful of the long line of students who are mostly probably just as stressed as you are in their university journey. The lighting above you helped with your sight in your receipt-filled bag but suddenly, the long papers with their minuscule printings became hard to read and a deep voice stated his order.

At first, your instinct was to defend yourself, tell the person who cut in line and added an order between you and your caffeine to wait a little bit longer but his choice of words registered into you before you could voice out anytime.

“I'll add an iced Americano with the order, please.” And then the familiar beeping sound of a successful transaction rings.

Your neck cranes up towards the stranger that only made your day easier and you couldn't help but let out a gentle gasp. A sharp pair of eyes yet soft and curious like a cat, his perfectly shaped nose and the slight upturn of the corner of his lips with the smile that beams down on you.

The chain necklace around his neck dangles above you and you were sure it hypnotised you to say, “It's an angel.” These were your first words to Lee Juyeon.

“Ah,” the recipient of the compliment could only blush first at your words, a hand sneaking up to mindlessly scratch his nape. “We should at least get out of the line.”

Now it's your turn to have your cheeks heat up at the realisation that you're blocking everyone else’s caffeine intake.

You thought that maybe Juyeon would just walk away and wait for you to join him on the other side of the table with the hanging ‘Pick up orders here' sign hanging from the beige ceiling. Yet, he crouched and helped you sort out your materials, collecting your pencil case and books into one arm, the other swiftly scooping up the straps of your bag along his other forearm.

Your eyes couldn't help but widen at your empty hands, and you were flustered at how he was still holding onto your things even when the customer who stood behind him joined you both after paying. Juyeon’s bangs shook when he refused to give your things back, insisting that you should be the one to carry the coffee instead.

“Coffee is important.” He convinces you with that warm smile of his. “Don't drop it!”

With the promise to pay him back for another cup, came a few promises to help with common subjects and overlapping knowledge. And with time, came the fluttering feeling in both your hearts that only grew when you comforted each other in the long nights leading to assignments and exam periods that came all too quickly but passed by excruciatingly slow.

Juyeon made it all worth it though. You walked out of the last two-hour prison of the semester to be greeted with your usual reward packed in a paper bag. If it was anyone else but Juyeon, the contents of the bag would be mushed as you hug it close to you but it's the person that you have missed so much that gets your love first.

“You called me last night, bubs,” Hearing his voice not through the help of technology is more refreshing and you couldn't help but tighten your hold around his figure.

“Every day is missing Juyeon day.”

“Well for me, every day is a happy day when you're in my life.”

It's a line that he has said to you many times even before he started dating you. Juyeon tried to make the line more interesting each time but one day, mixed with his tiredness and excitedness of finally seeing you, it became the line that revealed his adoration for you.

Hand in hand, Juyeon's thumb caressing the back of your palm, your right arm closely stuck to his left, you both sway and skip to the nearby beach to relish in each other’s company with nature. The light salty breeze scent hits you before you can even see the gigantic natural blue space that seems endless and seamless with the blue sky. As your outfit becomes one with the direction of the wind and the sun is still bright enough for you to know even when your orbs are hidden beneath your eyelids. It’s the little moments like these that the Earth seems to be so rich in beauty and life becomes beautiful although you’ve been studying endlessly for the past three months.

You couldn’t help but let your mind wander to the body of water that eventually begins to seep into your view as you walk up the small hill. You imagine the school of fish including the friendly dolphins to the misunderstood sharks and all the shapes and sizes of the life forms in there, some dependent on their family whilst some choosing to live alone.

That’s why you’ve always been so enamoured by the living, along with the sea plants that they harmoniously live with.

You wonder what kind of thoughts these creatures have as they live in a world much bigger than the land you stand on and if they ever want to explore the whole ocean like most people would love to see the landmarks scattered across the world. If they visit the landmarks of the ocean, would they even remember it? Or would they just swim away, finding it more than satisfactory with the fact that they’re free, especially those who swish through the water with company?

Same with life in the sky, do they ever get tired from flying? Like some people who are scared of a large body of water but are already mid-journey, how do they persevere in their flight and keep going? Do they sometimes look at human transportation and hope that they could bask in that luxury as well? Sleep in the moving vehicle and relax your tense muscles against the cushioned interiors even if it’s just for ten minutes. You want to know the answer to that and maybe, you’ll be able to learn something from the other life form.

You wish sometimes you would be one of them but it’s hard to say so as well because all forms of life experience different hardships and it’s impossible to generalise anything, nor is it truly fair to say one has it better than the other.

That’s when life becomes so complex and beautiful. The fact that you’re so small in the context of the horizon that stretched too far for you to see and comprehend, leaves you appreciating the small things in life.

For you, the arms encircling your middle remind you that no matter what hardships you face, you’ll be able to safely fall back onto someone. That you can freely cry without judgement and that life is lovely whenever he’s in it. Juyeon steals a kiss from your lips before placing another one on your cheek. Your eyelashes flutter open and you swear that Juyeon’s smile is brighter than the sun that smiles down on you both and louder than the crashing waves against the eroding rocks.

And whenever he asks you, “Feeling better?” You know that Lee Juyeon is the one person that you can answer the question truthfully and genuinely.

You both settled with a picnic blanket underneath a substantial amount of coverage from the sun by the park near the beach, the crashing ocean waves still in sight. You observe the tree above you dancing freely in the winds while the birds seem to sing for both of your accomplishments.

When you look back down by the cue of a single, proud hand clap, you're greeted with numerous small glass containers clinking next to each other. The colours from the neatly presented food only lifted your energy further and your boyfriend’s orbs glimmered more with the help of the sun that still peaks through from the leaves above.

Juyeon complied when you asked him for a bite of his homemade kimbap and spring rolls. The flavours instantly make you nod. “I refuse to believe that your mum didn't make this.”

Your boyfriend’s smile flattened, dipping further into a frown, “She helped but I did all the cooking and rolling!”

“Okay, you cute clingy baby.” Leaning in to press a quick kiss against his pouting lips. “I’m just joking around with you.”

To Juyeon, the peck is way more than just unsatisfactory and his thoughts about it are clearly reflected first from his eyes. Then, his hand landed next to the food box on his far left and made a sweeping motion on the cotton blanket to the right, pushing all of the obstacles between you and him. His knees slide his body closer to you that was once on the other side, and now with your boyfriend only looking at you with the softest, loving gaze between his overgrown bangs, you couldn’t help but purse your lips momentarily. You couldn’t let out a question or comment but that changed in the blink of an eye when leaned in Juyeon, replacing your growing confusion with a muffled chuckle instead.

A soft groan vibrates to your lips, Juyeon complaining about how there was nothing to laugh about—not when his soft lips are between yours. A palm made its way around the back of your neck, pulling your still extensive smile against his more serious ones. Eventually, with the way that Juyeon poured his love into you, you’re determined to do the same to the only person who would only let you claim his lips. A part of his blue and white sweater is now captured in your fist but it did nothing to your heartbeat which starts to pick up whenever Juyeon pulls away to adjust his lip’s position on yours.

The subtle nose nudges only served your fingers to trail up his arm that held you close, tracing along the vein that started near his elbows and ran his wrist near your pulse on the side of your neck. Now, with the way that your thumb brushes softly on his soft skin, Juyeon could melt further into you, leaning in further to deepen his presence to you. Whenever he pulled back, you would be the one chasing after him pulling on his sweater, wanting to indulge in his loving space even more.

“Who’s the clingy one now?” That lands him a shy hit to his chest that only made him let out a weightless chuckle in the air. “The love of my life and the only one for me,” he whispers sweet nothings as your foreheads kiss each other, a sweet gaze grazing upon your facial features. “I love you, bubs.”

So maybe you weren't hypnotised at all that day. Maybe, the universe didn't hate you after all. Maybe, this was all meant to happen even though you did go through some stress when the sequential events happened.

“I love you more.”

But at least, the universe gave you a free coffee.

Two, you really did meet an angel named Lee Juyeon.

And three, just like how he holds the day when you confess to him that you love him back, you repeat the words that he said to you at the start of all your lovely days, “Every day is a lovely day when you're in my life.”

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 'especially to you...'

tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here or removed!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️ @kflixnet 📺🍿 @sanaxo-o

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bbcphile · 5 months

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Mysterious Lotus Casebook and Complex PTSD Representations: Part I

One of my favorite things about Mysterious Lotus Casebook is how surprisingly nuanced and unusual its portrayal of complex PTSD is. So many shows either introduce character trauma to make the character Sad and Brooding, Angry and Violent (if they’re a villain) or Hesitant to Start a Relationship (if it’s a romance), and that’s usually as in-depth as it gets. If they address the unique after effects of child abuse that lead to complex PTSD at all, it’s usually either explain why a character is a homicidal monster (which is all sorts of problematic) or it’s limited to a single phobia, which can be overcome by the Power of Love, or it’s just something that crops up occasionally for Plot and then forgotten about the rest of the time.

Mysterious Lotus Casebook gives us two deeply traumatized characters–Li Lianhua and Di Feisheng–who each have clear symptoms of complex PTSD, and yet, their cPTSD manifests completely differently because of the types of traumas that caused it and their relationships to the people causing the traumas. And their manifestations of cPTSD affect just about every level of their being, including their sense of self, their decision-making, and their relationships with others, and it includes some of the incredibly important manifestations of cPTSD that are almost never shown in media while avoiding the most insulting stereotypes!

PTSD vs cPTSD

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is an anxiety disorder caused by experiencing a single (or short lived) traumatic event (an accident, assault, medical emergency, fighting in a war, etc), where the symptoms last for longer than a month. Symptoms include things like reexperiencing the event (flashbacks), avoidance (of things related to the event), changes in mood (depression, anger, fear, etc), and issues with emotional regulation (hypervigilance–being constantly on the lookout for threats–irritability/angry outbursts, etc.).

Complex PTSD happens if someone has experienced long term, chronic/repeated trauma that induces hopelessness and no chance of escape (survivors of extended child abuse, human trafficking, domestic violence, prisoners of war, slavery, etc.). It’s also often interpersonal in ways a car crash or medical emergency is not, and is particularly linked with chronic trauma during childhood: chronic stress hormones introduce literal physical changes in a growing brain, particularly the amygdala (which processes fear), hippocampus (which is responsible for learning/memory), and the prefrontal cortex (which is responsible for executive function), so it can affect every aspect of life and also affect a child’s progression through developmental stages. In addition to these physical changes to the brain, the prolonged trauma–particularly the helplessness–distorts a child’s sense of self, the perpetrator, and the world in ways that alter their decision making, their memory, and their future relationships.

For instance, whereas a traumatic event that caused PTSD might make you depressed or not trust the person who harmed you (or to fear driving), the trauma from cPTSD might make you suicidal, blame yourself for your victimization, decide to isolate to avoid interpersonal relationships to keep from getting hurt, or become obsessed with never being harmed again.

Basically, cPTSD has the core symptoms from PTSD with some extra challenges, including issues with emotional regulation, self-concept, interruptions in consciousness, difficulties with relationships, perceptions of the perpetrator, and systems of meaning.

DFS and LLH: CPTSD Symptoms

There’s so much more to say about this than I can cover in this superficial introduction, so this will be the first of a series of metas; I’m hoping to go into more depth about some of these categories in future posts (the DFS and emotional regulation/violence one is already drafted, so stay tuned).

Difficulties with Relationships (problems with trust, communication, missing red flags): Both DFS and LLH have a history of trusting the wrong people and not trusting the right people, both in the past and in the present of the show: in the past, LLH missed the fact that SGD hated him and DFS missed the fact that JLQ was obsessed with him, and as a result, both sects were destroyed, many people died, and the two almost destroyed each other. If they had communicated with each other instead of fighting at the donghai battle, they might have realized they were being set up and could have worked together, but their difficulties with trust after perceived betrayal made that impossible for them. They both have a history of overlooking red flags in the present–DFS in particular, keeping the red-flag-personified-JLQ around despite her history of poisoning people, including himself–and they both tend to struggle with relationships in the present: LLH runs away from and/or drugs the people who care about him, and DFS sends endless mixed messages by not telling Li Lianhua most of his plans to help him.

Self-Concept (Self-hatred and self-fragmentation): Li Lianhua is basically the poster child for having a negative self concept: he has an overdeveloped sense of self-blame and responsibility, even believing he deserves to die for leading his men to their deaths, and once he learns he was manipulated and SGD was behind it all, he seems to think it’s his own fault that he was manipulated, lied to, and abused. His self-loathing is so extreme that he imagines his earlier self, Li Xiangyi, to have died, and tries as much as possible to be nothing like that earlier persona. His repeated insistence that Li Xiangyi and Li Lianhua are NOT the same person is reminiscent of the fragmentary sense of self that comes with more extreme trauma, like Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) or Other-Specified Dissociative Disorder (OSDD), where traumatic experiences are so painful that people form different alters, or differentiated self-states, that can have different names and skills and memories and identities.

Di Feisheng doesn’t have the self-hatred or guilt that LLH does, and it seems like he tries to skip over questions of self worth, blame, or hatred by focusing exclusively on staying true to his code of ethics he’s developed for himself and focusing on gaining the strength necessary to fight for his freedom from mind control and the Di Fortress. But even though he’s kept his Di name, kept his goals the same since escaping Di Fortress, and hasn’t tried to separate himself from his trauma the way LLH did with LXY, he’s even more willing than LLH to take on different identities: it’s literally one of his martial arts skills. The Bone Constriction Skill lets him become someone else for a time, whether that’s a child or Shi Hun. It fits well with his willingness to be whoever he needs to be to accomplish his goals: he’s perfectly willing to be seen as a heartless villain if it lets him protect LLH, and he’s willing to flirt with and pretend to be jealous of JLQ to get information from her, and he’s willing to be LLH’s a-Fei, both with and without his memories.

Interruptions in Consciousness (Amnesia and nightmares for Everyone): LLH and DFS both have nightmares and flashbacks/memories of traumatic events, and as mentioned above, both have interesting hints of having fragmented/fluid senses of self. They both also dissociate, or separate themselves from the present when dealing with traumatic things: LLH spaces out and gets stuck in his past memories about SGD when talking to FDB after burying SGD, and DFS dissociates from physical pain so as not to make noise both after he’s been stabbed and poisoned with Wuxin Huai and again when JLQ is torturing him in her water dungeon.

They both also have dissociative amnesia that takes away trauma memories, although one is from a poisonous incense plus the magic of qi macgyvering: LLH forgot the existence of his older brother who died in front of him, and DFS as a-Fei had just about all of his memories (except a few of killing as a child) taken away. Amnesia is a huge part of cPTSD, because it’s the brain’s way of trying to protect you from truths that you might not survive. It can manifest as blocking out one single traumatic event, a bunch of thematically or temporally linked traumatic events, a skill set related to the trauma, or, in the case of something like DID or OSDD, just about everything. It’s endlessly fascinating to me that the show gives us one example of definite traumatic amnesia through LLH, and then seems to almost transform the experience of having DID and being a new part and finding yourself with a new name and very little else into an exaggerated fantasy setting (interestingly, people often report experiencing debilitating headaches when they try to regain memories behind the amnesia barrier). I doubt this is what they were actually going for, since DID is almost universally portrayed incorrectly and offensively in media (one of the alters is almost always portrayed as a serial killer, but that’s a rant for another day), but the different names and the presence of amnesia with LLH made it a fascinating enough parallel that I had to mention it.

Problems with Emotional Regulation (Lashing in vs. lashing out): Li Xiangyi and Di Feisheng are polar opposites when it comes to struggles with emotional regulation: whereas LXY turns his anger inward, directing it all toward self-hate in what’s often called a “toxic shame spiral,” both after the donghai battle and after he finds out about SGD’s role in his shifu’s death, DFS lashes out physically at those who have harmed him, usually via choking people, although he is usually exerting an impressive amount of control over his emotions and strength. To put in perspective just how different their emotional strategies are and how much effort DFS puts into emotional regulation, compare how much more calm he is than LLH during any revelation of past betrayal or painful information, any scene where they confront the people who have abused them, or any scene where they learn they’ve been wrong about something big; LLH is most likely having an emotional flashback (re-experiencing the emotions from the earlier traumas) and DFS is probably compartmentalizing them or dissociating from them to process later/never so he can stay semi-functional and not show a potential opponent a weak spot.

NOTE: This means that DFS is loooong overdue for a very dramatic breakdown when it eventually all catches up to him and he can’t distract himself from it anymore.

Perceptions of Perpetrators: In this way only, Di Feisheng has one advantage: he knows the head of Di Fortress is a cruel, abusive tyrant. While he clearly still fears him, even as a physically strong adult (he has nightmares, flashbacks, and dedicates his life to being free from him, which means he still to some extent feels young, small, and helpless when he thinks of him), DFS knows that he hates him and wants to be free of him. This is probably part of why he’s spared some of the self-hatred LLH experiences: he knows he didn’t deserve the abuse because seeing it happen to other children means he knows the abuse wasn’t a personal reflection on him. It does, however, motivate him to want to be stronger and invulnerable so as to never be helpless again, and that obsession is what drives him to have a single-minded focus on reaching the pinnacle of the jianghu.

It’s so much more complicated for Li Lianhua (and for a more detailed analysis, check out this meta): the childhood perpetrators were manifold–a slew of bandits, whichever children and adults on the street would abuse him for existing and being poor–it probably felt like life itself was to blame. It’s no wonder that when his shifu and shiniang took him in, they were the ultimate rescuers whom he hero-worshipped, so when he felt he made a mistake and his life fell apart, he blamed himself: at least there would be someone to blame that way and something he could do about it (try to kill his past self and hate everything about him). It’s also very telling that LLH doesn’t blame JLQ or YBQ all that much when he learns they poisoned him, and that he’s more angry that SGD murdered their shifu than he is that SGD set him up, hated him, and was the real mastermind behind everything he had blamed himself for; he struggles to stay angry at people who harm him, and would rather blame and hate himself for being tricked than hate the person who tricked him. So, whereas DFS tries to destroy the people who abused him, LLH tries to destroy himself.

If you read this far, thanks! I’m probably going to be posting the DFS and emotional regulation/violence against perpetrator meta next, because it’s drafted, but if there are any of these you desperately want me to talk about more sooner rather than later, let me know! :D

#mysterious lotus casebook #mlc meta #di feisheng #li lianhua #Li Xiangyi #complex PTSD #child abuse #sorry it's so long! This is the short version #The original version was 2700 words #dissociation #trauma #I am so here for non-monolithic representations of mental illnesses #PTSD #In case you can't tell I am very invested in depictions of PTSD and cPTSD #I'm always up for talking about fictional portrayals of trauma #so feel free to message if you have questions about any of this and don't want it to be in the notes for some reason

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ineedlelittlespace · 4 months

Note

for the character ask game: Peri "ART" helion

Send Me a Character

First impression

"You were lucky." sent a legit chill through my bones. As a concept, a sentient, overpowered spaceship is ten kinds of terrifying, and those first few moments that we experience with Murderbot are a little terrifying, too.

Impression now

ART is indeed still terrifying, but more in the way of those rescue tigers you see in YouTube videos that goof around like housecats and look a little offended afterwards when they don't quite manage to maintain their apex predator dignity. I love how much it loves its people, even as it delights in exasperating the hell out of them.

Favorite moment

The screaming match it has with Murderbot in Network Effect shortly before MB locks itself in the bathroom. They're both under so much stress, both so worried about the people they love, and on top of it all, they're both navigating the painful waters of their first-ever friendship fight (something neither of them has ever had to face separately, let alone with each other). It's such a big growth moment (even if the growth is more growing pains than anything else).

Idea for a story

So...I just started reading the Temeraire series...And ART gives me the most intense dragon vibes. I'm not usually one for AUs, but...

Unpopular opinion

I don't know that it's really an unpopular opinion, but I do fully believe that ART is significantly meaner/more ruthless than the actual Murderbot in the friendship. Murderbot does what it needs to in order to win the fight its engaged in. Unless it's been provoked in the extreme, it isn't going to use an ounce more violence than necessary. Meanwhile, ART goes straight for the nuclear option in basically every aspect of its life because it likes to get its own way. And I LOVE that for it.

Favorite relationship

The little family unit it's formed with Seth, Martyn, and Iris! It has clearly grown up a beloved gifted child of two adoring parents, and that is the sweetest start in life I've ever read for a manmade lifeform.

Favorite headcanon

If its loose bookkeeping and even the way it met Murderbot in the first place is any example, I fully believe that ART gets up to all sorts of mildly(?) illegal mischief when its crew isn't looking. No rules can contain it, thank you very much.

#thank you so much for the ask friend! <3 #murderbot #the murderbot diaries #asshole research transport #ask games

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heauxvibez · 3 months

Text

Brown Skin Girl

Warning: Talks of colorism, fluff

Took everything in life, baby, know your worth I love everything about you, from your nappy curls To every single curve, your body natural

"Baby girl, what's wrong?" Roman's concerned voice filled the room as he gazed at the pouting woman nestled on his lap.

She lowered her gaze, tears welling in her eyes, tracing paths down her cheeks, cheeks he had come to adore with every fiber of his being.

Sniffling, she whispered, "Nothing."

Roman sighed, a gentle furrow forming on his brow as he brushed a stray coil of hair from her forehead. His thumb moved tenderly, wiping away the tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

"Baby, you can't sit here and tell me everything's fine when you're clearly upset," he insisted.

Sage had endured a lot while he'd been away, busy promoting his upcoming fight. Yet, in his presence, she had always managed to mask her pain, putting on a brave face.

But the relentless onslaught of social media had been taking its toll on her, slowly chipping away at her confidence. Ever since they had decided to make their relationship public, she had become the subject of vicious rumors and hurtful comments.

Oh, how she wished she could turn back time and keep their relationship private.

The cruelty of people's words cut deep, particularly the remarks about her skin color—an aspect of herself she had long since come to terms with. Growing up with darker skin than those around her, she had faced criticism for something she had no control over. But over time, she had learned to embrace and love herself just as she was.

Yet, since the announcement of their relationship, Roman's fans had been awful. They zeroed in on her insecurities until she began to believe their hurtful words.

"You basically downgraded by being with me," she muttered, her voice barely above a whisper, her lip trembling as she chewed on it nervously.

Roman's heart sank as he listened to the woman he adored degrade herself. Guilt gnawed at him. As her partner, it was his responsibility to uplift her, to remind her of her beauty inside and out every single day. She had never shown signs of insecurity before, so he hadn't felt the need to shower her with compliments daily, but that was no excuse.

"Baby, what are you talking about?" he asked, shaking his head in disbelief as she shifted in his lap, meeting his gaze with her dark brown eyes.

She sniffled, "Roman, you know exactly what I mean. Look at me, and then look at you. You deserve someone much better than me."

A soft chuckle escaped her lips, "I don't deserve you."

Sage nervously fiddled with her fingers, tears threatening to spill over once more.

"I've heard the same hurtful words my whole life. That I'm ugly, and so is my complexion," she admitted, her voice cracking with emotion.

Roman's frown deepened.

Taking her hands in his, he sighed deeply, his thumb tracing soothing circles on her skin as he gazed into her eyes. She captivated him with her beauty, unaware of the effect she had on him. Even as tears streamed down her face, he couldn't help but be drawn to her.

"Oh, baby girl," he murmured, gently lifting her chin with his index finger, forcing her to meet his gaze. The intensity in her eyes could make any man's knees weak.

The weight of his gaze made her heart flutter, and a small smile tugged at the corners of Roman's lips. Gently, he laid her down on the couch, maintaining eye contact, which caused a blush to spread across her ebony cheeks.

Positioning himself between her legs, Roman held her frame beneath him, his presence comforting and reassuring. Her heart raced in her chest, her pulse quickening at his touch.

Goosebumps rose on her skin as his calloused hands explored the curves of her body, admiring the areas where she had just a little more meat than most people.

His touch was firm yet gentle, eliciting a giggle from Sage as his hands roamed over her thighs, tickling her sensitive skin.

Grunts escaped Roman's lips as he watched her take her full bottom lip between her teeth, the sight nearly driving him wild. How could she dare call herself ugly? Her beauty was breathtaking, undeniable, and anyone who thought otherwise needed their head examined.

Roman's hand caressed the side of her face, his thumb brushing against her trembling bottom lip before releasing it. He shook his head, disbelief in his eyes.

"Sometimes I wonder if I'm even good enough for you, baby. Your beauty is unmatched; you make me look ugly," he chuckled.

Sage playfully rolled her eyes, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"It's an honor just to be with you, Sage," he whispered.

His words touched her deeply, her lips curving into a smile.

Lifting her head, their lips barely a breath away from each other, Sage pulled back slightly. Roman melted under her touch, completely in awe of her.

"And your skin...baby, you know you're my chocolate drop," he teased, causing her to throw her head back in a fit of laughter.

Roman joined her laughter, burying his head in the crook of her neck. His beard and lips brushed against her skin causing her grip around his neck to tighten and a whimper to escape her lips.

"You have the most beautiful skin. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise," he mumbled against her skin, his voice tender.

"We're going to have children someday, and they'll inherit this skin. I can't be the only one reminding them how beautiful it is, can I?"

He pulled away to look at her, his eyes searching for confirmation.

"No," she responded softly, her gaze dropping under his intense scrutiny.

"Our children will inherit these beautiful features of yours, and I can't be the only one making sure they know just how beautiful they are. Right?"

She fought back a smile, her heart swelling with love.

"This skin and these features you're talking about are just a few of the reasons I fell in love with you," he confessed, his voice as soft as her skin.

Dipping his head back to her neck, Roman used his tongue to trace his name against her skin. Sage's breathing quickened as he moved to pepper her jawline with sensual kisses, each one sending her closer to ecstasy.

"Do you understand?" he murmured against her skin.

His kisses trailed up to her chin, tenderly caressing her lips and sucking on her bottom lip. With each touch, Sage felt any doubts she had about Roman's love for her fade away..

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Ummm okay I'm done for the night lol, I did not know how to end this but I hope ya'll enjoy the three things I've written tonight!

Tags: @harmshake @southerngirl41 @spritelucozade @empressdede @alichesmi

#wwe #roman reigns #roman reigns fanfiction #wwefanfic #romanreignsimagine #romanreignsoneshot #fanfiction #roman reigns fluff

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g-xix · 10 months

Text

Sidemen NSFW Alphabet | JJ Olatunji

Girl don't get in debt offering your life out for smut 😭😭. That being said I have just put my mortgage on the line for the Lionesses against Spain, and we did in fact lose. Devastating news. Cheer myself up w a JJ pic tho:

THAT'S THAT FINE MF I BE WRITING FOR 📢📢📢 Alr, enjoy the alphabet tho n suggest who's next xox (link to Harry's NSFW alphabet)

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A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex) Both of you are so blissed out afterwards that he can't even think about getting up to do anything. I feel like his style of aftercare is just spending time together afterwards. Once that horny-brain mindset has worn off he's back to just adoring you and sticks to you like un-floured dough on your fingers- hugging you 'round the waist, cuddling and watching movies, pressing little kisses against your face and telling you how much he loves you...

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's) He absolutely loves his cock. Yeah, fat surprise that one. Loves his cock just out of pride for what it can do and the effects it has on you. And despite saying he's an ass guy, I feel like he's lowkey a tits guy. Or he loves them both equally. Either way- seeing either of them is always a massive turn on. Loves seeing your ass in leggings and always needs to whack it and run when he sees you bent over- but equally also loves just resting a hand on a titty when you two are just sat down cuddling.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) I think he literally loves seeing his cum on you or in you. Something about it is so weirdly hot for him. I think me most likes finishing in your mouth though- literally asking for you to stick your mouth open afterwards so he can see it on your tongue, before swallowing. Something about that feels so weird in hindsight as he gets his post-nut clarity, but in the moment it feels too hot not to do.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) One time whilst doing missionary he spotted a sort of protrusion in your stomach which caused him to stop for a moment in pure surprise, having never seen that in his life. Pulled out slightly so that he could examine it more, but noticed that as he pulled away it disappeared. Thrusting back in, it reappeared- and placing his hand over your stomach, he realised that it was his cock inside you that he was seeing- the tip pressing against your inside and causing that little bump. Something about that turned him on so much that now every time you do missionary he keeps one hand on that bottom bit of your stomach, unbelievably turned on at the feeling of his dick through your tummy each time he thrusted.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?) I think he's made it quite clear he knows what he's doing, and I believe every word he's said about it. He knows exactly what to do and probably knows the ins and outs of your body by heart- all the places that'll have you moaning so loud the neighbours are sick of hearing JJ's name.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) Probably missionary just because of how the two of you have slowly adapted it to make it the best. Pillow under your ass so that he hits all the positions you need him in, he can wrap his hand around your neck to choke you how you always like it, and best for him, he gets to see your face and tits each time he thrusts...

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) I think your minds are too horny-filled to think about cracking a joke. All of that comes after the deed, when the two of you are spending quality time cuddling.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) There's hair there but it doesn't matter. He keeps it clean + grooms it so that it doesn't become overgrown

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) Fuck intimacy. He likes being able to make eye contact and speak to you, suree... But it isn't like he's trying to make it romantic. Fuck. That. This man is trying to get as rough, sexy and passionate as it gets. All the romantic loving comes in the aftercare- whilst doing the deed- he isn't focussed on being romantic.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) As much as the two of you like sex with one another, you also appreciate that sometimes j jacking off is the vibe. Thing is, JJ never wears earphones when he's watching something on his laptop with lotion in his hand- so if you're in the next room- you're hearing exactly what he's hearing.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) Lowkey loves choking. He's generally more dominant and he loves just wrapping a hand around your throat whilst in missionary- gently squeezing the sides, looking down and seeing you with your hands wrapped around his own- almost begging him to apply more pressure. Something about it is just so sensual to him and always turns him on more

L = Location (favorite places to do the do) Literally has zero shame. He likes doing it in the bedroom, sure, but something it just so hot about the thought of doing it somewhere he know the two of you shouldn't. The first time he'd had you bent over the kitchen worktop of the new apartment, he realised he wanted to do that shit in every position, in every possible place in the apartment. And it doesn't stop in the apartment. Wherever he could, he would do it with you. The car, hotels, hot tubs- sometimes you wondered whether he was a bit of an exhibitionist.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) It isn't hard for him to get turned on. But generally, it's just seeing you in even a slightly suggestive position, and his mind starts wondering. His motivation is thinking "Hey, we've never had sex here", and suddenly he's got you bent over the kitchen worktable with his head between your thighs.

N = No (something they wouldn't do, turn offs) Pretty down to experiment, but wouldn't try anything properly weird like scat or piss. Would assume that was a joke if it was ever even mentioned, because there's no way he'd do that

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) Doesn't mind giving head, but receiving it is a completely different type of pleasure for him. I'd imagine he would say on Sidecast "My girlfriend gives the most MINDBLOWING HEAD", which makes everyone on set crack up, but JJ wouldn't be joking at all. This man has his hands clenched on the bedsheet or on the back of your head, unbelievably blissed out which your head wrapped around his cock. Isn't generally very loud or makes many noises whilst fucking- but whilst getting head, he's virtually shouting his moans.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) Depends on the mood, but I think fast and rough is the way to go. As said- aftercare is when JJ loves being all soft, but whilst doing the deed I reckon it's a completely different ball game

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) I reckon he loves them. Loves anything to do with sex, and something like a quickie that adds a bit of risk, he's all up for. Plus he always gets kinda turned on seeing you in work attire, and so he always tries to sneak in a quickie before you have to leave for work

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) I think something about risks actually turns him on. Doing it somewhere he knows he shouldn't is like an achievement and he wants to do it everywhere he can. Would he take a risk like going no condom and relying on the pullout game, though? HELL NO. He may be stupid sometimes but he isn't stupid enough to take risks that harmful to the two of you.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) He's really physically fit, so I'm tempted to say that he could go multiple rounds. Plus oftentimes, he's so blissed out and turned on at the same time that even after he's cum he wants to go another round just because he's THAT horny for it

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) Sidemen literally BUY this man toys on videos. OF COURSE HE USES THEM. Often times just tries them once to see how they are, but has kept a few just based on how good they are. Probably finds you after using it and explains whether it's shit or whether "I don't think I've ever felt such convincing silicon in my lie"

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) I think he'd love teasing. Little bit of making you wait it out, having you beg- he knows it only makes it even better when he finally gives it to you- and he uses that to make the both of your orgasms just that much better

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) Probably some low noises like groaning. I think he's deffo one to talk during sex, and I think he leans more towards degrading than praising. He used to praise more, but you admitted you kinda liked degrading and wanted to try it... Initially he was really bad because he didn't know how to say anything that was degrading but not genuinely mean- but once he started getting into it, the two of you REALLY started getting into it.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) Has probably tried roleplay before. One Halloween the two of you dressed together in a couples or a matching outfit, and whilst clearing a few years later, you found them again. One thing led to another and you agreed to try roleplay in them. I think JJ would've taken roleplaying seriously because he was actually turned on by the idea, but you couldn't stop breaking character and laughing because it was too much for you. Ended up just taking off the outfits and having sex without roleplaying, even though JJ discovered a new kink that day

X = X-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes) Probably big. Around seven to eight inches, average width. He's been CONSISTENT in calling himself a grower not a shower and icl i think I believe it.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) So mf high. Literally, he'll just be doing something and then the thought of sex crosses his mind and suddenly- BAM- he's got a hard-on and is coming to you. Doesn't help the fact he's so attracted to you that he can't see you do anything remotely sexual without his mind wandering.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) Doesn't fall asleep afterwards, probs in a good mood afterwards. Can go and get on with his day if it's a pre-work quickie, or if it's post-work, then he'll just spend time with you- cuddling and spoiling you with his love

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lassieposting · 5 months

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Chinhands

Okay so like, long post incoming, but here me out:

This isn’t my first post on Astarion & CPTSD – there’s this one here, about some of the more obvious symptoms he might end up dealing with during his healing journey; there’s also this one, about some ways his lover might use magic to help support him in a world without therapy; and then there’s this one, which is headcanons rather than meta, but has my thoughts on vampires as camouflage predators, and how Astarion might change physically as he goes from starving to well-fed. Those kinda tie into this so, linked for easy context.

But those posts all focus on the visible aspects of CPTSD – the symptoms everyone around you can pick up on. And. The thing is. A lot of the longterm effects of extensive trauma are actually not outwardly obvious. They're quiet. Insidious. Fundamental facets of your worldview become warped and twisted by your traumatic experiences. You look at the world - or at least, the parts of the world affectd by your trauma - through a goddamn funhouse mirror, and that's your normal. And part of the healing process - I'll pause here for us all to share a collective bitter laugh - is realising just how broken your idea of How The World Works is, and having to relearn from the ground up how things actually function outside of your trauma bubble.

So, y’all know what I think Astarion would struggle with without even realising it?

Disordered eating. A messy, complicated, love-hate relationship with food and how feeding makes him feel about himself.

Like. Most living things are hardwired to avoid certain negative experiences. A creature that has starved will often hoard food to ensure they won’t starve again. A creature that has fallen from a great height and experienced physical pain will be more careful to avoid other falls in future. A social creature that has experienced humiliation or disgrace will be distressed by those feelings, and adjust their behaviour to try and avoid feeling them again. The more bad experiences we have with a specific stimulus – drinking blood, in Astarion's case - the more we associate that stimulus with the negative physical or emotional consequences we will suffer, and the more avoidant we are likely to become.

As a real life example: an autistic child who talks enthusiastically about her special interest and is met with mockery and social rejection by her classmates will learn to hide her authentic self from the world to try and fit in: the pain of the bullying motivates her to distance herself from her own autistic tendencies, which are an essential component of how her brain works. She ends up trapped between her deep desire to engage with her special interest, and the training she has received from her peers that to do so is bad, unacceptable, social suicide. She learns to hate her autistic behaviours for causing her to be bullied, but she still feels the need to engage in them.

Astarion is in the same boat. He craves blood anyway as a vampire, and the hunger is made all the more intense because he is starving. But for the first 200-ish years of his undeath, we know that feeding has been a deeply unpleasant experience for him, and that will have left a deep imprint on how he sees the act of feeding, how it makes him feel. To eat is one of the most basic instincts of every single living (and, in this case, undead) creature, a fundamental source of positive emotions (satisfaction, fullness, satiety, enjoyment, happy taste buds etc) with a massive impact on a creature's quality of life - and Cazador has gleefully warped and twisted the very concept into an attack on his spawns' personhood. He uses it to dehumanize and humiliate them, and that's all they've ever known. So they will have learned to associate feeding with deeply negative emotions - humiliation, shame, disgust, fear and pain. For example:

STARVATION

Astarion tells us that Cazador fed him just barely enough to keep him functioning. Starvation is a trauma that, on its own, is likely to cause disordered coping behaviours in the victim. We actually see some of these in-game:

Astarion keeps a sizeable stash of bottled blood in his tent. This is an example of resource hoarding – he’s afraid of starving again, and he’s stockpiling food as a safeguard.

Individuals who have suffered starvation (or who have been forced to follow a restrictive diet by a parent as adolescents) often find that they struggle to impose healthy limits on their own food intake once food is plentiful lor they age out of the parent’s dietary control). We see this in Astarion during the bite scene: he can kill the player character if they fail a roll to convince or force him to stop feeding before he drains them dry.

We know that Astarion's feeding time is late at night – he tells the player that he’ll come to them for a meal once they’re in their bedroll and everyone is asleep. This seems like a strange choice, considering Astarion's tenuous self-control, but my personal headcanon is that he feeds so late because, like many starved creatures, he’s food-aggressive. Cazador absolutely seems the type to throw an insufficient number of rats to his starving spawn for them to fight over: Astarion is likely used to having to viciously defend his paltry meal, or one of his siblings will take it from him. So the player starts out offering him breakfast along with everyone else – but they’re interrupted, Gale nearly loses a hand when Astarion snaps at him, and the decision is made to feed him separately, so he doesn’t feel threatened.

SENSORY DISTRESS

Astarion talks about being compelled to choke down the blood of bugs and putrid rat corpses - at one point idly remarking that, "I've eaten things that would disgust most vultures." - so we know that a lot of what Cazador was feeding him was a) already dead and b) actively going off, and that offers up so many potential sensory triggers.

After death, blood begins to coagulate, clotting and curdling into a semisolid - that could be a texture issue.

Rotting corpses smell vile - that could be a scent issue.

We know putrid corpse blood doesn't taste good to vampires - iirc he calls it sewer water or dirty ditch-water, in comparison to "plonk" (woodland animal blood) and "fine wine" (the player character's blood).

Corpses often also come with the lovely bonus of maggots, which are a hardcoded signal to humans (and presumably elves) that food is no longer fit for consumption. The disgust response is instinctive, to make us avoid eating the rotten item. But Astarion would’ve had to choke it down anyway – probably wanting to hurl all the while.

NEGATIVE ASSOCIATIONS

Astarion tells us at one point that if he refused the disgusting carcasses Cazador gave him, his alternative was being flayed alive. That makes the disgusting food a choice, and one he doesn't really have any choice but to make. He would also need to be fed after his torture sessions in the kennels, to give him enough blood to heal himself before being sent out after more victims. This would eventually build a link in his mind between being fed and being hurt.

There's also a dialogue where Astarion explicitly tells us that Cazador would suggest they dine together after Astarion brought someone home for his master to feed on. The alternative, as above, is getting flayed. So that makes a horrible three-way feedback loop of negative emotions: being forced to prostitute himself -> being forced to feed -> being tortured -> being forced to feed again -> and round and round again.

BODY IMAGE

This one is more headcanon than theory and ties into my other post about vampire biology, but it's still a point worth mentioning imo. Astarion's life has essentially revolved around sex, however unwilling, for 200 years, and that's become intrinsically linked with his identity - the way he sees himself, the way he interacts with the world. He makes several comments that all but explicitly state that he views himself as a prostitute, and his entire survival strategy in the outside world hinges on his ability to essentially leverage his attractiveness and his bedroom skills to snag himself a smitten protector. Iirc, there's a point in one of the breakup dialogue trees where he'll bitterly refer to sex as his only talent and say that he knows what people think he's good for. He is putting on an act almost constantly, always thinking about how best to portray himself to get the outcome he wants, how to make use of his target's desire for him.

And? This man has, for 200 years, been taught that people like him starving. He knows that the dehydrated-muscle, prominent-collarbone, deathly-pale hungry-eyed vampire look works for him. He's been found consistently desirable even though he doesn't look anything like a healthy, well-fed vampire should, and for someone who's so reliant on being hot, that's going to be hard to let go of. At this point, it may well make him anxious to be so well-fed that his body functions start coming back online, that he can fill out a little to how he looked when Cazador first turned him, that his unshakeable seducer act can be disrupted by things like blushing for flattery. After 200 years of seeing your body starving and thinking that that is how you are at your most attractive, being able to far better imitate a living elf could well be quite distressing for him.

So. At this point, as the game begins, Astarion most likely mostly hates feeding. It makes him feel terrible – degraded, humiliated, disgusted – and has almost no redeeming features. The blood he’s getting doesn’t even taste good, let alone sate his hunger. Feeding him is, essentially, just another torture technique of Cazador's. And yet, he still craves it desperately – debases himself begging for it, feels pathetically grateful for the tiniest scrap he’s given, finds his mouth watering at the sight of vermin. That’s already a horrible, mixed-up place to be emotionally.

And now it's going to get more confusing for him. Enter the player character.

Astarion gets to feed on a thinking creature for the first time, and with it, an array of positive emotions and sensations he's never gotten to experience before, in all the time he’s been a vampire. For example:

SOCIAL SUPPORT

When the PC calls Astarion out for trying to sneakily bite them in their sleep, he explains that he usually feeds on animals, but he's currently too weak and slow to bring any down. This is interesting, because in his Origin, it's a nightmare about Cazador that prompts him to bite a companion. But...I don't think it's a lie. We see multiple times throughout the game that Astarion doesn't cope well with being put on the spot - he gets flustered and kind of starts rambling - but this line comes off without hesitation. It is, if not the truth, still a truth. And the PC doesn't take advantage of that admission - he's vulnerable, but the PC doesn't hurt him or try to make him pay them with sex. Instead they just...feed him.

PHYSICAL STRENGTH & MENTAL CLARITY

He explicitly tells you that he feels strong after drinking from you – and he goes straight out hunting, backing that up – and he has a surprised exclamation that his mind is “finally clear”. He’s been living with hunger-induced brain fog for centuries. He must feel like you’ve given him his brain back.

JOY

He’s sated. He just had a meal that tasted good. He's getting all those positive food feelings for the first time - a massive rush of endorphins to a brain starved of happy chemicals for two hundred years. How many things have made this man happy since he died? It would be overwhelming.

CONNECTION

Held up against how Astarion is used to being treated, this gesture from the PC is an overwhelming show of kindness and generosity. They choose to trust him - even though, as he'll admit in the graveyard, that's an objectively stupid thing to do - and they offer freely something that makes him feel good. Him, a man who's usually forced to degrade himself for "rewards" that make him feel terrible. And as if that's not enough, they accept him for what he is, continue to give him the protection of a group, and they defend him to the others in the morning. He's feeling grateful and giddy and warm for the first time in centuries, and he knows it's all thanks to you.

But

That's going to give him a lot of complicated feelings, because he still has all those negative emotions related to feeding too. And they're not going to go away just because he's found out thinking creature blood is actually nice. They're going to clash against that new enjoyment and make him feel all confused and weird and mixed up. He might still feel shame, even though he enjoyed the meal. He might still find himself wrestling with pointless dread, because he associates feeding with torture and abuse, even though he knows Cazador is miles and miles away. It's a small step towards seeing feeding in a less negative light, but that’s all. And like, up to this point he hasn’t even realised that he might be able to enjoy drinking blood, because to him, Cazador's horrors are normal. That’s all he’s ever known – the only experience of food he’s ever had as a vampire. Feeding Is Horrible And Degrading is a fundamental fact of life that he’s just starting to realise...may not actually be true. That’s like...having a rug yanked out from under his feet. Scary. Distressing. Out of control. Which could make him lean more towards avoiding feeding for a while, to get that control back.

So how do the scales start to tip more towards really enjoying feeding?

I think it would be the introduction of the social aspect. As just this once becomes regular feeding arrangement, he's going to realise that he gets the high of all those positive emotions every time he feeds from the PC, and he's going to start associating that giddy, happy feeling with them specifically. Because we know that while animal blood is Fine He Guesses, and he does get merry on bear blood at one point, it's nothing remotely close to person blood. Woodland creatures still make up a decent chunk of his diet, but he doesn't get the same emotional kick out of them.

And like. He likes feeling good like that. It's addictive. So he'll keep wanting to go back for more – making excuses to spend more time with them, with feeding being a very convenient excuse. He's creating a positive feedback loop for himself of happy chemicals and like, crush feelings, and every time he indulges, he’s unwittingly handing over tiny little fragments of trust and affection in exchange. It's difficult not to start liking someone who makes you feel good, especially if you're so unfamiliar with the feeling. He finds himself that little bit less tense around his willing midnight snack. He laughs more easily around them, finds he's more inclined to indulge do-gooder tendencies, realises he's starting to enjoy spending time with them. He doesn't necessarily realise it, but feeding is no longer just about quenching his blood thirst. It's become a bonding activity. He’s like a semiferal rescue animal, building an emotional connection with you as protector and provider. He’s learning that you’re trustworthy.

And then, as your relationship with him develops and deepens, sex gets involved, and he plays himself.

In one of the dialogues where Astarion offers the PC sex, he explicitly calls it a reward for feeding him, and flirtatiously brings up PC's biting kink - that he can tell they enjoy it when he drinks their blood. This always lowkey makes me laugh because like. Up to this point, Astarion has had no reason to ever connect feeding with sex. Cazador doesn't let him drink from thinking creatures, and since Astarion talks about his prey being "dragged away" to be fed on, it seems like Cazador generally took his meals privately, so mixing the two isn't something Astarion got from watching him. This is something he's picked up from you.

Anyway. I'm not sure which way around they happen, but during his first sex scene, Tav gets the option to encourage him to bite them again, and he will. Obviously, he's not going to turn down "vintage wine", but this also makes strategic sense from the perspective of his plan to get Tav to protect him - he's probably thinking that he's locked them down because they can't scratch this particular itch elsewhere. They now need him. Except - whoops, he actually likes sleeping with them, and he's starting to catch feelings. And because he's come to associate biting Tav with all those good feelings anyway, making it A Sex Thing just shifts his perspective a little, makes him realise that he’s getting something out of these interactions that he gets hooked on.

Feeding has become a source of emotional intimacy. He's beginning to feel loved, cared for, valued. Close to the PC. And that, to someone so utterly love-deprived, is potentially enough to make it feel more positive than negative over time.

(As a side note, I quite like the idea that it'll become a sort of self-soothing strategy for him for a while. If he's stressed or afraid or hurting, he'll nibble on the PC to remind and reassure himself that he can - that he's safe and loved and no longer starving. He'll nip at them to deliberately induce those positive feelings of emotional closeness in himself, if he thinks they'll outweigh the bad ones that come with.)

But even so, those bad associations will probably never fully go away or stop affecting him. He’ll probably still always hear Cazador's belittling laughter if someone walks in on him feeding – look at you, boy, not so proud now, are you? Crawling on the floor for vermin, how utterly pathetic. He’ll probably always wrestle with feelings of stress and anxiety after feeding for no obvious reason, because his primitive lizard brain still treats it like a traumatic experience sometimes even when he's feeding on his living, trusted lover. It’s going to take him such a long time to wrap his head around just how fucked up all the reactions Cazador trained into him are, how different from his new experiences as a free vampire.

Anyway. Idk how well I explained all these thoughts but. Yeah. Astarion + disordered eating issues.

#bg3 #bg3 meta #bg3 headcanons #astarion ancunin #tw eating issues #tw disordered eating #tw ed

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whatthefishh · 1 year

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Mona tell me more about how happy Steven is to just have us at his apartment before he breeds us into infinity? Like just the week before the events in Cherry Pie we were making out on the couch and we had to go to the bathroom to take care of things cause he’s just not going there with us yet. How happy is our boy just sitting there? I simply can’t get it out of my brain.

🙂

^his face before fucking you silly. NSFW under the cut.

He’s rubbing his sweaty palms on his pants as he sits up on the couch, running a hand through his hair since it’s all tousled and messy from where your fingers were threaded.

You had come over after a casual lunch, planning on watching some silly movie you had read about that you thought would be fun. Movies with Steven were always fun, his witty commentary having you keeling over in laughter sometimes you’d miss the next scene. He always looked at you in wonder when he was able to make you laugh out loud like that, satisfied with himself, chest swelling with pride.

Cuddles quickly turned into soft smooches, which quickly turned into you turning in his arms and pressing yourself to him, which THEN turned into heavy touches and you basically in his lap and tongue in his mouth. Your hands were in his hair, twisting his curls around your fingers as you moved his head to angle yourself better, ravaging his mouth the way you wanted to ravage the man himself.

Pulling apart for air, he whimpered, hips unconsciously bucking up into you and you had to close your eyes because you were so sure that seeing Steven so kiss drunk would surely make you lose your shit right then and there. And then he’d know.

He’d know how bad you wanted him, how depraved your thoughts were about him, how you dreamt of peeling him apart, layer by layer, and kissing every inch of skin you exposed. He’d be privy to the filthy images your mind would come up with after your evenings spent together, alone in your bed as you tried to imagine his hands or mouth on you. He would know how bad it really was for you and you didn’t want to scare him off.

It was Steven. He wanted to take things slow, he had said so himself. He had the right to as well, his lack of experience and years of loneliness causing your relationship to be such a drastic change for him, let alone the physical aspect. It didn’t stop you from dreaming though. Didn’t stop you from fingering yourself not once, not twice, but three times just to ease the ache.

Easing yourself off his lap, you smoothed your skirt out and took a steadying breath, took one last look at him, before spinning on your heel and marching to his apartment’s dingy little bathroom to reset.

Reset meaning shoving a hand towel over your mouth to muffle your noises and the other down your panties to do something about the second heartbeat you developed sometime between the end credits and trying to ride your boyfriend’s thigh.

God, you were soaked. He didn’t even know the effect he had on you, did he? He was all smiles, all doe eyed as you etched his dopey face - make-out hair, dilated pupils and swollen lips - to memory, hands on his thighs and head tilted up towards you like the light of his life.

No. No, you don’t think he knows.

Steven’s ignorance to your current state almost made you feel guilty but you were too worked up to care that you were literally fingering yourself in his bathroom just to be able to act semi-normal around him.

Almost there.

An image of Steven licking into your mouth ferociously, his hand on your waist pulling you closer.

Just a little bit more, touch your clit, just like that.

Another image of Steven watching your face as his thumb finds your clit, eyes lighting up as your mouth drops open on a whine.

Oh, no, you had to be quiet. You were taking too long. Fuck, hurry up.

“Come, love, I want to see, show me how you look when you come,” phantom Steven says to you.

Gasping into the towel, you gush around your digits, relief and ecstasy rushing your veins at the same time.

#cherry pie fic #inbox 💌#melody tag #steven grant smut #I think… I mean this is about our silly reader #steven grant x reader #mona writes???

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