#it feels so unfair to boil any of it down to them needing to find spare capacity they didnt have to Try Harder

[bullagit]

ftr there is also nothing that mary could have or somehow should have individually done that would have magically made their life together happy, either. it’s no more or less on her shoulders than on stede’s. 

idk i think about them a lot and just like. like they have such different wants, different needs, different approaches and coping mechanisms that sort of inherently rub against each other wrong, and were limited in how genuinely they could connect while they were both trying very hard to uphold the societal roles they’d been made to step into. 

like, i think mary and stede were both at bandwidth capacity in those terms for the vast majority of their marriage. there’s no reality where they stay together and are happy and content! there’s no scenario where they could be sincerely good satisfying life partners to each other. there’s no “well if he’d done abc” or “if she’d done xyz” that can negate that. to the best of their individual and highly incompatible ability, they were both trying and ultimately all they could really land at together was enduring. they are fully not designed to be good spouses to one another lmao

the inherent problem with their marriage/relationship is that neither of them wanted it in the first place and they were completely unable to gel in a way that could facilitate building a genuine understanding foundation. anytime i see the implication that one of them is directly at fault for that unhappiness i get kinda miffed about it tbh, they are just fully incompatible individuals on that level.

and ig thats my lead-in to how i think it’s very Neat and telling that they were only able to be honest and communicate fully and even bond/forge a kinda friendship in the post-murder attempt zone, once any remaining shreds of attempting to adhere to spousal roles had been thrown out the window.

(obvious disclaimer here re: the fact that stede leaving in the night without any warning was a Premium Fuckup, and so was him being an ass on main for a bit when he returned, and that i do slot mary’s attempted murder under Premium Fuckups as well)

#ofmd #our flag means death #stede bonnet #mary bonnet #idk man this whole relationship fascinates me so much #i get so worked up when i see it simplified or made into a weird blame game #the villain here is society these two were just out there trying to fuckin survive #they both tried but they both worked on different toolsets and like #i just imagine that that had to be exhausting in itself?? #it feels so unfair to boil any of it down to them needing to find spare capacity they didnt have to Try Harder #it wouldve been great if they couldve managed to connect and try to be more of a team but like #clearly that was not within their ability #idk man i guess im going to defend these two flawed adults w my life now #i just think they did the best they could #and ultimately their bests were things that weren't cross compatible so it kinda flopped #at least they both love their kids good for them

[creedslove]

Who of the boys would be more of a cat and who would be more of a dog person?

Rewatching Narcos currently andJavi P seeking justice for Murphys cat was the animal love I needed.

I know he says he’s not much of a cat person but the way he treated it.. cat man 🧐🫶

Featuring: Javier Peña, Joel Miller, Agent Whiskey, Dave York and Marcus Pike

A/N: aww this is a very good idea!!! I love it honey! Also, I have a feeling all the Pedro boys lean towards dogs, but that doesn't mean they won't go soft with a kitty 🐈

Javier Peña: Javi likes dogs better, there's no argument towards that, he grew up around dogs on his dad's ranch and he loves how strong and loyal they are, however, that doesn't mean Javi is insensitive towards cats, we all have seen how fierce he was to fight for the fact that cat was DEA as much as Steve and himself were, even if there was a tiny comical hint to it; Javier isn't a huge cat person, but he does have a soft spot for them, they are cute sometimes and amongst all the violence he has encountered through his life, he thought he would lose that empathy towards smaller things, but he was very wrong, so once he saw a stray kitty fumbling around the garbage to look for food and it made his heart break, he didn't know why exactly, but he was so tired of seeing the evilest side of people, it felt just too unfair such a tiny cute little creature starve on the streets, which caused Javier to feed the cat leftovers of his meals which quickly became a habit and now the cat is fat and he doesn't know what to do

Joel Miller: Joel Miller is 100% dog person and there's no argument about that at all, although after he grew up and had to take care of a house and a baby daughter on his own, he decided to have a no pet rule: money was tight and so was time, taking care of a baby, and then a toddler and then a child and then a teen was exhausting as it was, so he didn't have time for bullshitting with cats or dogs. In fact, getting a puppy was the only request Sarah has ever made him and he managed to remain strict and not let her have it. However, he knows his daughter pets all the neighbor's pets and he's okay with it. Now, if you have a cat, you can expect Joel getting into a grumpy old man mood™ he is just going to complain about the cat and he is going to swear that cat is up to no good, plotting against him because its so jealous of you. He will definitely have arguments with your cat

"get out of my guitar now!"

"meow"

"I swear... get off my truck or I'll kill you!"

"meow"

And well, sometimes it kind does seem your cat is teasing Joel by sitting on his truck hood or sitting on his beloved guitar; if Joel is reading some work papers on the kitchen table you can bet your life your cat will climb all the way just to sit ON the papers and make Joel's blood boil, and you'll de damned if that ain't the funniest shit you'd ever seen; but hey, sometimes after you went to bed, your cat nuzzles Joel's body and your tough boyfriend actually pets your cat, but it's their secret and neither of them will ever admit it 🤫

Agent Whiskey: our sweet Jack loves animals! He is a farm boy after all, and that means he absolutely adores every single living thing. Of course he likes dogs and cats like everyone else, but those aren't his favorites, if anything, Jack is the kind of man to have farm animals as pets as if it was the most normal thing in the world. As a grown man, Jack has his own ranch, and he keeps all the animals he likes there: he's got cows, horses (his big passion), pigs, chickens, goats, bunnies, dogs and a few cats in the barn because someone needs to catch those damn mice, since he hates killing any kind of animal, he leaves it for the cats to chase down the mice and if he finds spiders in the house he'll definitely just throw them outside. He loves birds and fish but he'd rather watch them out in nature than have them trapped in birdcages of fishbowls; he's not a big fan of frogs but he doesn't mind them at all and his biggest childhood trauma was when little Jack befriended a very cute little pig and the two of them became quickly inseparable, playing together and hanging out all the time, he even named his pig Hector™ until one Sunday morning he woke up to see his friend gone and later, mama Daniels had made pork chops for lunch ☠️ Jack cried his little heart out, refused to eat lunch and spent years without eating pork, until this day he feels kind of guilty to eat bacon or something, he doesn't kill any of his own ranch animals to cook, he just goes to the supermarket to get the meat

Dave York: Dave had always loved dogs from a young age, when he was little, his dog Sprinkles was his best friend and he still keeps old pictures of himself and his old friend in the back of his memory boxes. Once he grew up and he got into his... business... he realized dogs are the safest option for a pet; they are very rational, they can be trained and protect the house and the owners against threats or burglars. If his kids beg him for a puppy, he will never say no to them, but it will be frustrating to him that they will pick the cutest and fluffiest puppy over the one breed he thinks it's safer for the family, statistical saying. However, how happy they get will make him think of Sprinkles and soon enough he will become those dads who treat the family pet better than his own kids. He will definitely doze off on the couch and the dog will be curled up to him. Dave also admires the felines and mostly how neat and careful they are. They are silent and are able to sneak into a room without anyone noticing, exactly like Dave does when he's out working, he likes how cats are independent and always take care of themselves, however, the idea of having a cat never occurred to him, but well... never say never

Marcus Pike: that man is the human version of a golden retriever, so he obviously would prefer dogs. He has thought of getting a dog some time but he hasn't made up his mind yet, on one hand, he would like to have a puppy waiting for him at home so he won't be too lonely, but on the other hand, dogs are a lot of trouble and he doesn't know if he will be able to actually take care of it, not to mention dogs remind him a lot of the perfect image of a happy family, you know, a husband and a wife and kids, something Marcus would love to have but he hasn't been too lucky with it lately! He does like cats too, but the thing is: he is allergic to cats, and I don't mean just a slight allergy, I mean sneezing, coughing, red puffy eyes, stuffed nose etc, so cats are definitely a big no to him!

#pedro pascal #javier peña #joel miller #agent whiskey #dave york #javier peña x reader #joel miller x reader #agent whiskey x reader #dave york x reader #marcus pike x reader #pedro pascal x reader #joel miller x you #javier peña x you #agent whiskey x you #dave york x you #marcus pike #marcus pike x you #pedro pascal x you #joel miller x y/n #javier peña x y/n #agent whiskey x y/n #dave york x y/n #marcus pike x y/n #joel miller headcanons #javier peña headcanons #agent whiskey headcanons #dave york headcanons #marcus pike headcanons #joel miller headcanon #javier peña headcanon

[aviationtothemax]

What are You Trying to Teach Them?

Just needed a thing where Ice puts Cyclone in his place. ..sorta, because Ice chooses to have self control.

But no one messes with Iceman's wingman.

"How long until the mission?" Ice asks, piercing eyes flicking between the two.

"Two weeks, sir." They both say.

Ice taps his hand against his thigh once, looking past their shoulders at the door. He needed to get these two to work together if this mission had even the slightest chance of succeeding. So he asked, "What are you teaching them?"

Maverick remains stock still- that was kind of concerning to Ice. Cyclone speaks before him, probably assuming it was for him to answer, as he outranked the Captain. "Currently, we're showing them the course, sir. Studying the layouts and twists. They'll be in the air tomorrow, sir."

Ice gives him a curt nod. He already knew that, Simpson. "And what are you trying to teach them?"

Cyclone looks confused for a moment. "Sir..?"

Ice stares at him expectantly and feels a rush of satisfaction when he shifts uncomfortably. Maverick still hasn't moved.

"How to run this course, sir. How to complete the mission." Cyclone says, confusion clear in his eyes. Ice hums quietly and turns his piercing gaze to Mav expectantly.

Maverick doesn't meet his eyes and instead stares past his left ear.

And so it was a matter of who would bend first, as it had been from the moment they met at Top Gun in '86. And it sure as hell wasn't going to be Ice this time because he had a point to get across. But he also knew this could last a while, so he pushed because they didn't have the time to butt heads.

"Maverick?"

"Sir."

Ice's eyebrow raised ever so slightly, knowing very well that Mav knew what he wanted and could read him better than just about anyone. And Mav never actually called him sir unless it was he was in front of a crowd.

"Mitchell."

Maverick kept staring past Ice's left ear at the wall. Stubborn son of a bitch.

"I assigned you to this mission for a reason."

Maverick nodded ever so slightly. So, he wasn't going to talk.

"What are you trying to teach these kids, Captain?"

Mav was silent for a few more seconds before he finally said, "Just as Admiral Simpson said, sir."

Ice felt his blood boil at the slightly smug look on Simpson's face. He hated how Mav's rep made every single CO above him so prejudiced. Maverick had so much to give, but no one to see it and Ice hated it. That was why he fought so hard for the little shit. Life was so unfair to him.

"No, Mav. Why did I assign you?" Ice asked him, letting the formalities slip a bit.

Maverick started slowly shaking his head, and that's when Ice saw it: the glassy look in his eyes. Shit, he should've checked in sooner. He'd known this assignment would hurt. "I don't know, sir."

Ice sighed. "Maverick."

"I don't know." He repeated.

Ice let him collect himself before speaking again. "You're the only pilot in the last thirty years to shoot down three MiGs."

"I know that." Mav said. "And it seems to be about the only justification for me being here. You just can't find anyone else because this mission is impossible. Ice, why are you making me send these kids to their death?" Send Bradley to his death?

Cyclone looked a little taken aback at how the captain talked back to the COMPACFLT, but neither of them took any notice.

"I am not making you send them to their deaths, Maverick, you're their only hope. I want you to teach them, increase their chances of coming home. You've pulled so many impossible, crazy stunts, brought back so many pilots that the Navy was ready to give up on. They need you, Mav."

Mav shook his head again, darting a hand up to wipe his cheek as a tear escaped. "I'm not enough, Ice."

"Yes you are. You're the only person who can make this happen."

"Why can't you?" Mav asked quietly. It wasn't meant to be defensive, it was a simple question that implied, 'you're better than me, how can I possibly be more qualified?'

"Because I wasn't the one that saved all those pilots, even if it was against orders, pulled off all of those crazy-ass, reckless stunts that give me gray hair and a few more stacks of paperwork. I wasn't the one that saved our asses in the Layton mission and then every mission we flew together after. I've always hated to say it out loud, and you know it, but we do need more pilots like you. Ones that care. You care about those kids, don't you?"

He didn't answer, but the way he cast his eyes down was plenty affirmation. Ice gripped his shoulder and ducked his head to try to meet his friend's eyes.

"Then teach them how to come home, Mav."

"Okay." Mav said. He finally looked up into his eyes and Ice offered him a small smile. Mav nodded curtly, once. "Okay."

"That's my wingman."

"Bullshit." Mav said with a small smile of his own.

Ice chuckled.

#actually cyclone creates great drama situations #if he wasnt so biased he could be a good guy #top gun maverick fanfic #Top Gun: Maverick #pete maverick mitchell #tom iceman kazansky #beau cyclone simpson

[curekibouka-writing]

hello! could i request vil, epel, ruggie, and kalim (separately) finding out that their romantic partner has been cheating on them?

With cold eyes, Vil looks down at your mildly fearful visage, and he chuckles, “What? If you are so afraid, then perhaps you should not have betrayed my trust in the first place.” 

Were you expecting a harsh scolding? Jealousy? Revenge? Vil does none of that. He regards this matter with more maturity than you imagined. “But I jest. I am no petty child who would throw a tantrum over a stolen candy, you are free to go wherever you please.” 

His blood-congealing calmness is frightening in its own way, but you’d rather leave him alone before his wrath actually shows. 

Vil sits in front of his mirror silently after you leave. Once again, contrary to your expectation, he does not seethe with anger. He always acknowledges that you are your own person, so he respects your choices. It’s not like he’s unfamiliar with a world of fickleness. Trends pass, fame dies, people leave, the unfairness barely means anything to him by now. 

In his experience, people always leaves because there are better alternatives. And here’s where he would push himself in the back and stand tall to polish himself, to strive for being the fairest, to be better than them all. 

But today, he removes his makeup wordlessly, without much motivation to complete the rest of his schedule today. Maybe, he decides, he will give himself a little break, he can work hard again tomorrow. He throws his phone onto his pillow and lie down inelegantly. 

This act has ended crudely, he just needs some time to forget it and put together a new face for the next.

You see the anger written all over Epel’s face. You see his eyes sharpening, his teeth gritting, his veins popping. What do you take him for? A pushover? He’ll show you he isn’t going to take this insult lying down—

His clenched fist whooshes straight at your face, but he pulls himself back before the punch connects. He took more than a few deep breaths as his fist weakly grips his other elbow, looking away as he asks begrudgingly, “Why did you do this? Am I not strong enough for you? Not tough enough for you? Do you think I won’t ever become a man of your dreams?” 

He doesn’t really listen to your reply, your actions were enough to shatter his ego. For once he thought you were someone who understood him. Someone who saw his strengths despite how he looks and appreciated him for that. Someone who acknowledged what he can do and wouldn’t underestimate him. You were an anchor of sorts, affirmation for him in a world that (he thinks) never saw his true worth. Now you betray him, lifting the anchor and sending him back out to an ocean of insecurities and anger. 

If he could, Epel would challenge your new partner to a battle, a duel, just something to prove that he’s better. But then he considers, and bites his lips, and runs away. What’s the point? It doesn’t matter who’s better, what matters is always how people see things. And you, you see him as a loser. 

Ruggie feels his fangs, his claws, the blood of an animal in his veins, itching to grab something, to gnaw at something, to keep what belongs to him. He pushes out a low growling sound from deep in his throat as he suddenly clutches your wrists. 

It’s rare for his droopy eyes to be boiling with such ire. It’s rare for him not to face something with his usual goofy grin. Because, in truth, life’s too short to waste it on getting angry at every little unfair thing. 

So why bother? He flings your arms away, and if he had done it any later he might’ve left a mark. But it means nothing, does it? If taking a bite makes something his to own then he wouldn’t be starving. He just… never really held onto something quite long enough to value it this much, but that doesn’t mean you’re different, you’re just another thing that never belonged to him. 

He really should know better than this. He knows not to ask for much, there’s less disappointment that way. He knows not to grow attached to things, he could lose them every day. He knows how to judge what to steal and what not to steal, and he knows you are one thing he cannot steal back. 

He knows how to let go — you never belonged to him. He knows how to pretend he doesn’t care — if you don’t appreciate him for what he has given you out of what little he has, then perhaps you weren’t worth it. He knows how to laugh again — “You were never… one of us.”

First of all, we must address how Kalim finds out about your little secret. He would not easily believe any rumours or word of mouth that suggests it, so he could only find out by witnessing you with your other half with his own two eyes. Even then, Kalim does not confront you immediately, he will find time to talk to you later, and alone. 

“Have you found a new lover who makes you happy?” Kalim asks you, his tone is not accusing, and you cannot deny it even if you want to because he saw you. 

As you reluctantly admits that you have, Kalim confirms with you again, “And they make you happy, right?” If you agree, to your surprise, Kalim will burst into a grin, “Oh that’s great! I’m so glad you found someone who can really give you happiness!” 

He spreads his arms, wanting to hug you, but pauses and pats your shoulders instead, “They’re a good guy!” He continues to give compliments to your newfound love interest, especially in aspects that he himself isn’t good at. 

At the end of the day, you’ll have broken up with Kalim peacefully, you’ll walk away from him contently. And he has no problem with that. As long as he knows you’re happy, he thinks it doesn’t have to be with him. 

But he tries to recall what receiving your love felt like when it lasted. He tries to recall it every time after things go bad, go rotten, because he knows it didn’t always taste like that. Love, trust, affection, dependence… what did they taste like when they were pure? When they were mutual? When they were not poisoned? When there’s no one to say he’s only dreaming? 

#twisted wonderland #twst writing #twisted wonderland x reader #vil schoenheit #vil schoenheit x reader #ruggie bucchi #ruggie bucchi x reader #epel felmier #epel felmier x reader #kalim al asim #kalim al asim x reader #pomefiore #savanaclaw #scarabia #twisted wonderland writing #twisted wonderland headcanons #twst headcanons #twst requests #twst x reader #twst angst

[angelhummel]

okay so in honor of pride month, i have something i wanna get off my chest for real. sorry if this is super long

I have a tendency to go outside of tumblr spaces when looking at glee content — something i frequently regret. but in my time in those spaces, i often the most delusional take ever. it is basically, “kurt was always kinda pushy towards finn. so did he actually DESERVE to be called a slur??? 🤔🤔🤔 let’s discuss.” this shit boils my blood to no end and while it’s obvious why, i feel the incessant need to defend my boy kurt at all costs.

for one, he wasn’t any more pushy than any other character in the show. i mean for god’s sake, rachel quite literally THREW herself at finn as early as the first episode and i guess that’s fine??? what kurt did was virtually no different bc all the characters do weird, out of pocket shit throughout the show. it really only bothered finn bc kurt is a boy and finn is OVERLY bothered by the prospect of a boy having a crush on him. (more specifically that its kurt — he just simply dislikes kurt being attracted potentially straight guys. thats why he took so much issue to kurt singing with sam. it’s always been about his personal issues with kurt)

moving on to the actual scene in question, so much of what flop accused kurt of was grossly unfair to him. like he says something along the lines of “im scared to even take a shower when youre around,” implying that kurt is some ‘predatory gay’. which is ironic, bc we learn from kurt himself that he never showered after gym JUST to avoid be labelled as something like that. at no point did kurt’s advances move towards remotely ANYTHING sexual in nature, finn just instead assumed that of him

finally, i do believe that flop WANTED to call kurt a slur. he knew that kurt wouldnt call him out for it and you can tell from his tone that that had been building up inside of him for awhile. he wanted something that would push kurt away/scare him. he just went for the cruelest method possible in the moment.

so all this was to basically say that flop hudson sucks and that kurt did not deserve any of the shit that he endured. he was pretty much taught by his peers that it is inappropriate and unacceptable for him to have the same wants and desires that literally any teenager would have simply bc he was gay.

thank you for tuning into my rant. this has been stewing for awhile lmao

lmao yesterday i saw a gifset where cory as finn was doing some good fun acting and i stared at him for like a minute going "if i focus on the cory of it all, can i trick myself into liking finn even a little bit?"

the answer was already no, but if it hadn't been, this ask wouldve set me straight. thank you <3

i've definitely talked about that before tho bc omg. finn has the nerve to call anyone else pushy. i know its not like it'd happened in the show already but. this is the boy setting up a whole kissing booth to manipulate quinn into kissing him aksljfsdlk. or the way he got drunk at the wedding reception in s4 and was hounding rachel. that literally gives me the heebie jeebies lmao sorry to be dramatic about it but i hate it

and god yeah it just breaks my heart bc we know that kurt is always walking on eggshells around these people anyway. and literally 2x04 has become one of my least favorite episodes bc of how hard it is to watch as a kurt stan lmao. sorry it has like two iconic songs but finchel are so fucking manipulative and awful and i've had several rants about this episode before aljsfdlks but basically boils down to them literally making kurt feel like he's committing a crime by asking sam to sing a duet with him and isolating him to an unhealthy degree

and then wanna act all :O four eps later when kurt is like "im getting tf out of here to go to school with people who are nice to me" aslkfdslfjsd

anyway literally just search "2x04 anti finn" on my blog and you will find more posts than you would ever care to read lmao

#glee #lol glee #anti finn hudson #asks #my thoughts #cryscendo #flop hudson

[ahordeofwasps]

Find the Word Tag

I've been tagged by the marvellous @isherwoodj! Thanks for the tag! My words are understand, unaware, undo, use, and urge! I'll be sharing excerpts from To Not Falling Off Cliffs!

But first, the no pressure tags! I'll be tagging @loopyhoopywrites, @emelkae, @spuddlespud, @amewinterswriting, and open tag! Your words are vast, vivid, victory, and vague!

Now, onto To Not Falling Off Cliffs!

Understand

And when the reapers began to, as a collective, understand their own mortality, they revolted against the Sunodos the only way they could. They stopped reaping. The Sunodos were without mercy. Millions of reapers were wiped out of existence and new reapers were spawned to take their place. The Sunodos were unable to see the need for mercy. They were unable to see that someone would be unlikely to cooperate if their predecessor had met an unfortunate and unfair fate. They were unable to see that mortals wanted not only to live but cared for more than living. No matter what the Sunodos did, the reapers wouldn’t reap. Not until they had what they wanted. Not until they were given the chance to live.

Unaware (as a side note, Abcde's name was intentionally silly)

Tiffany did know. Abcde had spilled the details to any reaper that would listen. Reapers couldn’t let the souled know about the deaths of the reaped, but they were permitted to gossip amongst each other. Dulius would lure the woman he currently fed upon into the engine room, where the nuclear reactor powered the Manhattan lay. He would do so with the intent of draining her dry, unaware that he himself was walking into a trap. The woman was Katia Girard and her fake French accent hid her real French accent. She would impale the Duke with a silver butter knife she had smuggled onboard, but in the process damage the nuclear reactor. Abcde would reap the Duke, while Katia would return to the party. The damage to the reactor would eventually cause an explosion and sink the Manhattan. Katia would succumb to hypothermia and Tiffany would reap her soul.

Undo & Use

“STEVE!” “Something’s wrong…” “Someone call a doctor!" “For a reaper? Do reapers even see doctors?” “I mean if they’re reaping a doctor…” “Not like that!” “Someone call another reaper!” The pit of dread grew heavier. His friends were trying to help him. It was no use though. The only one who could undo the Sunodos’ designs were the Sunodos. No doctor could figure it out and calling a reaper would only result in more silence. His arms loosened, unlocking themselves from their failed rebellion and eventually his neck unlocked itself too. All Steve could do was hold his head in his hands. He had kept his promise, he had saved at least one human from a wretched fate, but at the price of reaperkind’s welfare.

Urge

“My lover’s charms, are in a box, be-neath my be-eed…” The music was like sandpaper in her non-existent ears. She could feel her insides boiling, a sudden urge to pick up the boombox and smash it over Steve’s head coming over her. But she forced that urge back down. Steve may have hijacked her rebellion, but he had done it fair and square. The other reapers had all voted for their collective doom alongside him. She would simply watch. Watch as they embarked on their fool’s errand. Watch as they all got themselves obliterated. Watch as they take out their reapers’ instruments, the tools the Sunodos had blessed them with when they in their wisdom created the reapers. Watch as they tossed them to the ground, treating them like garbage and not the expertly crafted wonders they are. Tiffany found herself reaching into the pocket of her dress and gripping her hook. She could watch. Be a golden fly on the wall. But she would never be content with that. She could never be content with just watching as everyone threw their existence away. No matter how much she tried to.

#writing #writeblr #fantasy #urban fantasy #To Not Falling Off Cliffs #TNFOC #tag game #find the word

[eyesophile]

archeyeved eyes shift toward the other if only for a brief moment and then back again to the horror . gaze unfocused if only for a moment , watching the savagery unfold as fire roared through the building , it offered only pain . not even the blessing of death as they awoke again and again and again to the ferocity of it all . the agony . hell on earth , literally . he forced himself to listen , to hear the sobbing the praying . it fed his determination to fix all of this and it kept the other at bay . the side buried deep down that wanted to wrap teeth around the world , grin and bare it while it devoured fear . the knowing , the beholding - it was there tickling at the corner of his mind and the archivist was using it more . relying on the incredible power of it to wind their way through this dying hellscape . mapping the route in a mind filling with information about life itself , about everything . everything except for martin who had requested there was no prying of any kind to be done . of course , even jonathan sims did not need otherworldly powers to deduce that his boyfriend was upset . finally turning away from the brutality he listened at martin spoke , heard the intonation and briefly eyes close . there was a soft exhale of breath . " this is why you were given the choice , martin . " which was wildly unfair of course . the path taken of a coward . the situation was in fact , not fine . the humanity left inside of him coiled within itself , he felt the anger of his partner simmering just below the surface . it was hot enough to put the raging flames of the inferno to shame . " look - i'm sorry i … " the archivist began , an apology tripping awkwardly off of his tongue . " it was , we shouldn't have gone in there . i could have gone another way . " still , eyes could not meet the other . all of that was of course the truth but it sounded so weak , so utterly flimsy since the deed had already been done . he noticed a few scorch marks on the sweater martin worn and eyes widen for a moment and jon stepped forward . " martin ! " alarm . " martin are you alright ? were you hurt ? " slender fingers reach toward the other .

" that was not you giving me a choice! " he practically rounded on the archivist then, a metaphorical tea kettle of a man finally crossing the threshold from a simmer to literally boiling over. " -- that was you pretending to let me have a say in it! you were just, just offering as a formality so that right now, you could say ' oh, I gave you a choice, mahtin. ' because you knew, you already knew when you asked that I wouldn't make it. we'd gone all that way already, and I-I knew what you wanted, so you asked me then when it was too late instead of at the start. news flash, jon; backing someone into a corner and then telling them they have to-to fight their way out or just go with it is not the same thing as a real choice!! "

martin seems to finally take a moment to catch his breath then, just as jon moved to reach for his arm; and the way that martin immediately pulls back, clasps his arm to his chest to guard it is almost animal-like in its instinctiveness and ferocity. his mind is a cacophony of vicious feelings, anger and panic paramount among them as he snaps back at the archivist's sudden concern with a bitterness as sharp as any blade.

" -- YES, jon! yes! it hurt! you knew it would hurt! " he scoffed a laugh, a caustic sound. " -- why are you so upset about it now, hm? -- y-you didn't seem to mind when you were getting your revenge how distraught I was. why are you acting shocked when I told you how much I hated burns, and you said I was going to feel it, and you decided to go in anyway? gosh, just, just wait until you find out how you actually get wet when you hop in the shower, next! "

#[ unleashing s5 unhinged and sarcastic martin is feeding me ] #[ f icons we do what we want ] #archeyeved

[toskarin]

so re: urobu chi in madoka we are just replacing the "man/ghost" with a girl with grey hair, right? I buy that.

I think he has strayed away from these basic conventions a lot as of late, but he also has been working a lot less in general. I'm curious if you have a favorite of gen's work or if you feel you haven't absorbed enough of it to have an opinion (or maybe you just don't like any of it). while it does boil down to the basic framework you describe I feel like on the journey to that he explores some pretty interesting ideas. Just as well I also like the different ways he resolves his "everything sucks" narratives. at least I feel by the end usually there is more there than that basic idea but sometimes it takes too long to get there.

As far as zero is concerned, Nasu approved it basically all the way through its release and worked with gen on it so there is that. And when you consider Gen was basically given free reign there's no real reason for him to stick to the original concepts, I don't think (but I understand the argument for him to do just that). I guess my takeaway is if you find them incompatible (zero and stay) then that's fine because they were made by two completely different people, the same way I don't have Aliens in the same headspace as Aliens. They are different things that just happen to have the same characters.

I spent a lot of time just stating my own opinions rather than asking yours, sorry. Whatever you feel about Gen (I'm not a big fan but he's made some stuff I like), it's hard for me to say he did some interesting things that a lot of authors would be too afraid to do (or perhaps simply wouldn't be allowed to by their publishers).

anyway if you can/want to point me to where you've written more about these topics I'd be curious to see it!

I'm gonna apologize in advance because I'm using your ask to write my most comprehensive (and sympathetic) post on Urobuchi so far lmao

I should definitely open by clarifying that when I drop an opinion like that, I'm exaggerating my actual stance because I think it's funny to do it, so I'm not actually as anti-Urobuchi as I come off, it's just that I'm just not especially a fan (and at the end of the day, no matter what I say on here, I'm a pretty big Madoka fan who thinks Saya no Uta is a fantastic piece of horror and likes Nitroplus vns as a whole)

in general, when I sound overly negative about an author, it's usually because I don't feel the need to write out every time I find a piece of media okay or even good, so playing up some stronger opinions for a punchier line is always gonna result in what looks like a paradigm of blind praise and seething hatred. it can come off especially rough when preexisting connotations attach themselves to my rambles and rants

for example, me complaining about the misogynist tendencies of Urobuchi's writing is more of a ribbing than a hard moral judgment on whether it's got merit. I've got no idea what he's like outside of his work, besides that we like a lot of the same movies and he seems to get along with other people I hold in high regard. that's a big part of why I make a point of tending towards more tongue-in-cheek references to his choking fetish as opposed to anything with real substance

all that being said!

even though my stated opinions are oversimplifications of what I actually believe, I'm a little unfair to him, and I'm fully willing to acknowledge that. I disagree heavily with the way Zero was handled, especially in regards to how it handled preexisting characters, and it's one of those few situations where I wonder whether Nasu was actually right to lend so much creative freedom to a partner on a project he was (by all accounts) so closely involved with

Gen has a fantastic sense for horror and despair, and it's solely because he produces stories so close to what I'd consider amazing that I complain about the things holding them back. an example I'll point out is that I've never gone after the low hanging fruit of gun jokes because, while it is a recurring theme in his writing, I genuinely appreciate his fixation on the specifics of firearms

I haven't kept up with Urobuchi's stuff recently, largely because of time constraints, but I really do hope he's been working his way out of the boxes he worked himself into. if he were a purely mediocre writer who made consistently okay work, I don't think I'd have any opinions on him at all, after all

in the end, I really dislike Zero because of both what it tries to be and what it doesn't try to be. if it had been a more boring production, I'd have much less to say about it. I think that's a pretty good encapsulation of my feelings on him. I'm never bored, regardless of whether I'm having a good time

#fateposting #fate #urobuchi

[firebuug]

Hi!!! For my oc ask meme, may I offer you (apologies in advance for the many questions wahahaha):

3, 7, 8, 9, 12, 15, 20, 24 (obligatory), 25, 26 and 31 for... well, that's a lot of questions so ummmm shit go with whoever inspires you but I'll specifically ask for Julian, Eva, Skuggy and Buggy!! (and Farrow if you feel so inclined hehe) again, feel free to pick and choose who you answer each question with and also feel free to skip any bc this is a LOT!! i am sorry i am curious

hi. i am here to answer them All. you heard it. full oc bible right here right now. ill do it using whoever racks my brain for the question or all of them if i feel like it. i am sorry in advance for the length of this but it is very fun THANK YOU

3. Their playlist. Drop their playlist and include specific lyrics from each song you consider to be the most fitting.

i have playlists for almost every oc that i can vibe check in my brain. here. warning, they're all on spotify, sorry. julian, eva, skuggy, buggy, and farrow ! i'll share lyrics from one song that reminds me of them on there each!

jules: "Fate gave me a chance, now a couple chances, Hands always on the wheel, I thought I really had this This is a struggle, a struggle of survival Life is not a toy, and I should know this spiral Don't fall asleep I am not invincible Could've been worse, There could've been a death toll" - AMPM Truck by The Garden

eva: "Beat machines and impossibly fast vertical lyrics An expression with no physicality, whose heart is it going to capture? I ripped it off, that rhyme and flow, I didn't need it after all! All that was left was the empty voice I whittled down for your sake 'Embrace death!!!!!' Beat machines and impossibly fast vertical lyrics Music that doesn't create perfection, showing its existence through madness Feelings bubbling up with boiling point bugs, this tune feels like it's about to fall apart A song born just to play its rhythm" - MACHINEGUN POEM DOLL by cosMo@/BousouP

skuggy: "But you're a killer and I'm your best friend Think it's unfair, your situation You say I'm changing Sorry I didn't know I had to stay the same Can we talk about this later? Your voice is driving me, driving me insane" - Be Nice To Me by The Front Bottoms (i havent shifted into skuggy mode for so long i had to dig so deep for this shit)

buggy: i dont wanna do buggy's his playlist is old and redundant </3 but ummmmm jsut look at the title of this fire by franz ferdinand and guess hwat it's about. "oh how i burn for you" headass

farrow: "I didn't have a clue That I would lose! Oh I would lose, Between my left and right, I'd one day have to choose You're not like me, I'm not like you. I'm not who these things happen to And that's exactly what you say before it catches up to you Before you play with knives and find yourself in two" - BAD LUCK! by Jhariah

7. In your opinion, do you think if they were real you would be friends with them or not?

i would love to be friends with jules and skuggy. eva would be mean to me and farrow is absolutely abhorrent. if i met buggy irl i would not trust him im sorry .

8. ^ Relating to above question, do they consider themself easy to get along with, and is that actually true?

jules thinks he's pretty good at making friends, and he's good at going up to people and talking to them, but he tends to come off too strong and scare people off ksjdfs....being from the backstreets he is very eager to get one people's good side and establish YES IT IS ME I AM A COOL GUY YOU CAN TALK TO AND BE FRIENDS WITH, DO U WANNA BE FRIENDS?"

eva thinks he is a reasonable person and doesn't understand why people think he's scary but goes "whatever, if i scare them, that's their problem!" he is not very easy to get along with but once u tap into his shell he is....well...he's eva

skuggy does not want to be easy to get along with and will purposefully make you scared of him or tell you blatantly to go eat rocks. like eva you have to crack his shell and really prove yourself to be a reliable, chill person and he might show you his true face

buggy tends to be easy to get along with, he doesn't come off super strong like jules. he isn't purposefully rude and wants you to feel welcomed, but isn't immediately gonna be like HI WANNA BE FRIENDS he treats you like a stranger at first and THEN gets friendly if you seem cool

9. Have you ever tried to make them in a character creator? If so, share pictures (if you have them)!

YES recently ive been making a lot of juli and evas here

link to above (non-picrew, picture maker)

link (non picrew)

cropped weird bc they were on my ig story LOL but here source!! i LOVE these two in patricular they look SO dman cool and everything fit so well it wasnt even a lobcorp picrew

12. Would you consider them well-liked in universe, or are they more an… acquired taste .

jules is generally well liked, eva is a mixed bag because he tends to be pretty hard on people but has friends who love care him and ensure others that Thats How He Cares For People. i guess id say buggy is generally well liked, skuggy is either a hermit or a rude asshole to anyone u ask in town, farrow is so mixed because he has 20 fake personalities but most people who know him hate his ass or just think of him as the nice fellow from 7/11 with the thousand yard stare, weird bloodstain pooling at the neck of his hoodie and arms full of Sprite bottles

15. What would their theme song/leitmotif be titled? What would it sound like, if you have an idea?

oh this is super interesting. uhmm eva's would be a performance/musical reference like curtain call or final refrain or whatever. would 100% be orchestral or something with very distinct, complicated piano lol. jules... i have no idea. something time loop joke. maybe guitar? accordion??/ SAXOPHONE??? farrow's would 100% be some janky electric guitar with distortion and breakcore in there watever. last laugh

20. How easy is it to befriend them? How easy is it to make them hate you?

jules is easy to befriend he's already down to be friends. buggy is second in difficulty, he's wary but still willing to be friends. eva is next he is not fond of workplace relationships until he is. outside of work he doesn't want anything to do with anyone bc the city scares him. but if you prove yourself to be kind he will be kinder to u in return. skuggy wants you to leave him alone and if you try too hard to be his friend he'll think you're annoying. farrow is in a ??? category because honestly you can't tell if he's your friend, if he pities you, or if he's planning some scheme with u as the casualty

it is not easy to make jules or buggy hate you. if he already liked you buggy will withstand so much bullshit until you finally cross the line and he goes okay you're just a piece of shit now. jules can dislike people or avoid them, but hate is a very strong word and he will only hate u if you are so pesteringly negative or smug and annoying that it drains him to be around u. it is very easy to get eva and skuggy to hate you--skuggy already does, totally unironically, and eva will hate you the moment you go out of your way to try

24. Do they know what a sigma male is. Be honest .

LMFAO the only ones who know what a sigma male is, are probably skuggy, farrow and julian. eva vaguely only through his crackhead friends

25. How do they react to being loved and/or cared for? Similarly, how do they express their love for others?

AHH YES I LOVE THIS TYPE OF QUESTIONS... julian reacts by smothering with love in return. he expresses love very physically, whether it be platonic or romantic. he is SUPER physical w everyone even strangers i cant emphasize this more, he'll put his arm around stranger's shoulders, but he WILL stop the moment they express uncomfort. he just habitually does it. he will high five and hug and hold his homies's hands, he will kiss his homies goodnight, and it isn't even romantic or weird to him, it's just how he expresses friendship. naturally, when he's doing it romantically, he just smothers u

eva is mainly just very confused and almost guilty, but very appreciative of it deep down. like "what did i do to earn this?" and if he feels like he Did do something to earn it, he'll melt into it! otherwise? why. he acts annoyed when its his friends or tries to be humble about it, but when its with a lover he cannot help but wind up dazed and confused but very in love KKJHJkjhf. he was raised to believe he had to earn and work for Everything i guess. he expresses his love more through subtle actions than through words, like leaving a note in ur lunch, making the bed for u, fixing your tie, brushing hair out of ur face, etc etc. he is all about subtlety

buggy is a bit scared but will absorb every ounce of love given to him. if it is from someone he's been with for a while he will skip the soscared phase and go straight to absorbing like a sponge and reflecting it back at them. he is also very physical and wordy with his love. he will make you pet names and hold u thru the night.

skuggy is just like buggy and can be soscared and even a bit defensive or reflective of it. when he expresses love he doesnt like doing it in words but will lay on top of you or just hang aorund you or do little things to indicate trust like falling asleep around u. will give you lots of gifts and things that make him think of you, and just. talk to you openly. be weird around you

26. How do they react to being disliked? Similarly, how do they express their distaste for others?

being disliked is the least of julian's worries, he doesn't really care. he'll just go eh cant reel in every fish in the sea i guess. and just not be buddy buddy w them. he expresses distaste by just exchanging glances w friends and being openly awkward and dismissive but not outright mean around them, like (guy approaches and tries to make conversation) "oh haha, uh...cool! uh, my friends and i were about to go do something, but thats sick i guess?" and then gossip w his friends kjhhjds

eva is used to it and is outwardly like WHATEVER. doesnt faze me. LOTS of people dislike me because they dont VALUE the lessons i teach them. and then he goes home and goes why dont they like me. what am i doing wrong. obviously this is something wrong with them, and not me (daily affirmation voice). he is verbal when he doesnt like someone-- he'll be rude, order them around, tell them to go away and do work, or just straight up say hey man, can you just leave me alone? i don't like you or your face

skuggy is glad when people dont like him because it means he can bug the shit out of them or theyll leave him alone. he will straight up call you a cunt if he doesnt like you

31. What are some things you associate with them? Certain aesthetics, items, colors, feelings, tastes etc! Anything goes!

we're in the final stretch. idk why but i associate julian with octopi? and the color purple, hearts, infinity symbols and ouroboros (oh here comes buggy w the ouroboros again), cats, and very sweet things! "liminal spaces" and the feeling of being surrounded by people yet being so excruciatingly isolated from them and yourself. and rams i guess

eva is really so much classical music, electricity piano, blue, oceans, and sharks to me. sea life and fish in general. any song w piano in it i run to look up its lyrics to try and tie it to him. coldness, snow, paper and very isolated scholarly vibes i guess. the sound of a metronome or a clock ticking, something steady and repetitive. ouh and clocks. hes hokma's son /j

buggy with rlly bright colors, electricity and neon, fire and chill peppers, and sheep! i havent been in the salem brain for so long man i wish i had more. forests and little lit wood cabins. and violence .

skuggy is a lot of muted colors like blue, green, brown. weird and funny lookin bugs. POLYPHEMUS MOTHS and eyes eyes eyes. feeling of crushing anxiety that makes u start gnawing and drawing blood everywhere. laundry machines. and just general brainweirdness. all of my undescribed mental junk that i cant label under anxiety or depression that is just generally truck stop tiger brain. and knives of course

im tired now but i had fun. hope you enjoy my essay my bible my manuscript. if you made it this far i legitimately applaud you and owe you my life like the hell. thanks. ok bye

#ocs #long post #ask #THANKS #julian #eva #skuggy #buggy #farrow #rambles

[medicinemane]

I suppose in the end, here's what it all boils down to

It's very nice to think that any given problem in someone's life has a solution, and if they just start doing such and such things will get better

That's not how life works though, sometimes you find someone where they're doing everything they can and life just keeps kicking them in the teeth. Whatever the situation, hard worker who can't find a job, incredible person who just can't find a relationship, someone who takes such good care of their body and just keeps getting sicker. There are so many people I see not getting what they deserve in life

Life isn't fair. It's chaotic, it's a mess, and there's a lot of systems being run either poorly or maliciously by people at the top

So for me, I'd rather not try and say "well, this is your problem, and this is your fix". I don't know their life, I don't know everything they've tried. So often I'll hear the most confidently given advice and be like "man, you don't even realize that's already been tried ages ago"

I very rarely can fix situations. Even putting everything that I have at someone's disposal, what I have isn't a lot. That's why I try to at least be willing to sit with them in the discomfort as best I can, try to focus on pointing out places they're doing stuff right, that sort of thing

No idea how much it helps, probably varies person to person, situation to situation, but... hopefully at least it's something not having someone there saying "well here's how you fix this"

Catch all solutions stated as fact just really really frustrated me, especially when it's implied it's someone fault they're dealing with whatever, cause I've known far too many people where it's just not true

...makes me think of someone I knew on here where... I think they've legitimately had the hardest life of anyone I've ever talked with. So much horrible stuff, absolutely won't elaborate cause to me that would be a huge violation of trust but... it was so unfair. Everytime they'd try and get up again... I mean, just again and again with truly horrific stuff. I can't even convey it without going into details, and all the details feel way to private to share but... one thing in particular that happened to them was just tragic to an unholy degree

My god, what were they supposed to do? The system wasn't helping them, the system allowed them to keep winding up with people who were known to be dangerous to them. They had so many problems with their physical health that they needed help, and they were barely getting anything

Sometimes it's time to stop giving advice and just get stuck in and help

I could do jack shit really. I could just talk, try and sit with them, try and give them a different perspective that disagreed with all the poison that people had put into their head about themself. Drop them stuff to listen to when I could, cause once again not to go into details, but like I said they were dealing with unsympathetic systems that often made things worse and sometimes it was hard to get ahold of mp3s they could listen to offline

Plus while we weren't far away, we weren't even in the same country

So yeah, maybe I managed to do jack shit in the end, but at least I wasn't constantly hounding them with ways they could fix things if they'd just do this or that. We'd talk about what they could do sometimes, but it was always a discussion, like with me listening when they explained why something wouldn't work, and then I'd just redirect instead of dwelling on it... not sure how much good I ever did, but there it is

So I don't know... you don't like someone doesn't have friends, then befriend them (not force your company on to them, I mean be a friend to them)

You don't like someone's filthy house? Offer to help clean it and listen if they ask you to stop

Stop just being hollow words

You don't like something about someone's situation, offer a hand or if you can't do that, then at least grant them the blessing of silence

I am not enough to fix this world's problems, I doubt anyone who reads this is. I don't think any of us run in the circles that can pull major strings

When people I like here need money... I don't have that, the days I was able to send money to people aren't here anymore, and will probably take a long while to come back if ever

I can't... get my friends out of being stuck with lets be honest, shitty families (not always the whole family, but at least one parent just is kind of shit)

I can't promise one of my friends on here who is extremely capable that they'll get a good job or get good grades, even though I have a literal mountain of evidence that says anyone who hired them probably would have just hired the best member of their team. I doubt I could even be a reference successfully, even though I could say "when they said they couldn't keep doing the work they were doing for their college cause they needed to find a job, the department decided to make it a paid position so they'd stay"

Like there, there's so little I can do for them practically speaking, but I can at least talk with them, check in when I can, and say "my god are things stressful for you, and you've needed a break for years, but I'm telling you that you over and over manage to take care of what you have to, and you'll do that here too"... and they always have taken care of it too. That last bit doesn't have anything to do with me, that's just who they are

I'm not saying if what I do helps or not, I'm just saying at least I don't just tell them this or that piece of brilliant advice that... oh, oops, turns out that's hyperspecific to my personal experience and doesn't help them at all. At least I actually try to listen and hear what's going on for them

So at it's core, in a way even more than what I said in that post about "if you don't have friends it's because you're mean" as an idea, this is what bothers me most of all

I'm so sick of people who sling advice all day but never actually reach out a hand and help

I look around and there's so many people who are having trouble keeping their heads above water... I don't know how much longer they'll last, by damn it all we shouldn't wait to find out

I can't do much, but I'll do what I can when I can. I'm not just going to toss around instructions on how to fix things before I know people's situations because honestly people are smart, and many have at least considered whatever I'm about to say... and even if it's the best course of action, if they won't do it, then that means it's not actually a course of action and we need to find new options

I just get tired I suppose

#mm tag so i can find things later

[rsmrymnt-tea]

Hi, me again. If it's not too difficult, can you tell me how Dola feels about Luke? Or Lucifer. Either or.

Oooh hello hello!! :0 Didn’t expect to see you back so soon ahaha <3 I’ll go with Lucifer because I feel like there’s just more there compared to Luke >.< Like. Way way way more.

So for better or for worse, Dola has that ‘you remind me of my shittiest family therefore I have issues with you’ thing going on with Lucifer that is strongest during her first few months knowing him. It slowly tapers off to just being something of a background hum that has her ready to be on the defensive and offensive if he starts getting on her nerves or overdoing the older brothering… Which just means that he’s starting to get a little too bossy/fussy/overbearing for her liking.

But Dola isn’t as actively antagonistic towards Lucifer as Satan is. She has enough people to hate, and with all the energy it takes to deal with living in the Devildom in general especially in the beginning, she goes the more quiet route of going with what he wants for the most part. Until he says or pulls something that sounds really stupid or unfair or unjustified, it’s then that she starts giving him pushback that’s often in the form of refusing or adamant disagreeing. After that she starts asking questions that make it obvious she thinks he’s being stupid and should know better. It becomes a debate half the time, and also a form of negotiation for something more reasonable. (This sort of response to his bullshit honestly persists even years later when they’re actually closer tbh)

However there are of course times where Lucifer will put his foot down and refuse to take no for an answer without explanation, which massively loses him respect points. That’s usually when Satan pulls her aside after the exchange to go plan on how exactly they’ll go against Lucifer ahsksja (behavior that also persists even years later… except they also have Belphie with them sometimes)

Sometimes she also just… Doesn’t do what he says but quietly. You know how kids with overprotective and strict parents do? It’s like that. It’s enough for her to get away with what she’s doing and finds no need to rub it in Lucifer’s face the way Satan tends to that she’s breaking his rules. The point is to have a good time while dealing with living with him, not to piss him off (though that sometimes is a bonus)

Though she actually was outright hostile towards him after he nearly killed her when Luke found their grimoires in the underground tomb. He does apologize but y’know… It’s doesn’t make it make any more sense to Dola, which leads to another fight where Beel has to drag her away while Mammon tries to placate Lucifer. Like… She gets why he did it, but she also thinks it’s fucking stupid of him to think Luke could do anything and also nearly kill one of the brothers he was trying to protect. (It also makes her think about what sort of wrath is boiling under Satan’s skin and how insane his self-control must be if he was born out of rage that was leagues more intense than what she saw.)

The turnaround is definitely when they’re all stuck in Levi’s game (which for personal reasons isn’t an otome in Dola’s canon shska) and eventually when they’re all on their trip to London. The events of those arcs adequately humanize Lucifer for Dola, and vice versa. There’s some personal and somewhat vulnerable conversation that happens between them that sort of explain why one is the way they are? Like in the game arc (that’ll probably be a high fantasy rpg instead), Dola learns a bit more about why Lucifer’s so uptight all the time + gets to see what he’s like when there’s no Diavolo around to worry about (which she thinks is considerably more likeable). In London they go to an art museum where he gets to learn a bit of Dola’s upbringing by seeing how her family (mainly parents >.>) treat her when they think they’re in private + manages to find out from some of her family’s friends a bit of what she went through growing up. It’s a lot and opens an avenue for some level of understanding that’s very needed for both parties for them to get anywhere with their relationship.

Like I always thought that once their relationship improves, Dola’s one way for Lucifer to figure out how to approach Satan and his relationship with him, while Lucifer ends up being Dola’s hope that her parents are actually some level apologetic about how they pretty much fucked her over with her upbringing. Only one of those things ends up working out well, sadly, and Dola’s a bit bitter about it even though she knows it’s not Lucifer’s fault.

Post-Lesson 16 their relationship was extra rough, even more so because Dola was trying to get it through to Lucifer that Diavolo for sure played a hand in her death and has likely been using Barbatos to ensure his loyalty to him, but Lucifer wasn’t buying it out of denial. I think he eventually accepts she’s not making shit up when she’s hurt by his denial to the point of leaving for Purgatory Hall.

Once the aftermath of the Incident’s been dealt with thoroughly enough, things very slowly start improving between Lucifer and Dola again, even getting pleasant enough to where she would sometimes bring him coffee at night while he’s working in his study if she happens to still be up, and maybe stay there to chat a little because that’s honestly like 50% of how they’ll ever have the time to hang out. At some point it hits Lucifer that she’s done like… a lot for his family? So she gets special treatment out of seemingly nowhere, which has some alarms going off but also is pretty appreciated—especially when he assures her that he’ll make sure Satan’s able to visit her in the human world, which does wonders for her opinion of him.

The shit that happens at the tail end of S2 with the Ring and all ends up doing a lot for their relationship as well. It’s odd to see someone so starkly different from their usual self when they’re not burdened with their own memories (becoming a point of reflection for Dola about him), and something about being remembered as a loved one alongside his brothers when he’s forgotten literally everyone and everything else had her emotionally in tatters in a good way. It’s really solid proof of goes much he cares for her, which was very much needed at the time because part trauma still had her questioning how much he cared, plus the fact that he didn’t believe her for so long regarding Diavolo made her diminish where she thought she stood among his personal rankings for who he held in importance.

When things settle into a sort of peaceful enough relationship, she’s essentially got herself a very protective older brother figure who kind of fills in some sort of gap left by her family all being varying levels of shit to her. The older brothers all sort of do that but since Lucifer’s the most blatant parental figure out of them, well, you know. It hits real different whenever he tells her he’s proud of her and the first time he said so she shed a few tears in the middle of Ristorante Six, to both their horror >.> But he doesn’t really stray too far into father territory that much and still acts like a little shit of an older brother to her half the time, and likes to annoy both her and Satan on purpose for fun. She appreciates him for all that and but wishes he’d shut up and stop being so annoying on the rare times the three of them are together by themselves.

Dola has noticed that he hikes it up a notch or two if it’s Solomon she’s with. Which both interesting and also even more annoying. Solomon just laughs it off. Dola on occasion has fought Lucifer about this, but also understands where he’s coming from considering Sol tricked Asmo into a pact just to get closer to him and still dogs him for a pact?

They have a few common interests that give then something to talk about for fun. It’s no secret that Lucifer’s fond of art so that’s a no-brainer, but they also have a shared fondness for vinyl records. They’re both really fond of classical music (I am sorry to break the news that Dola doesn’t listen to pop in the middle of this) and are both on the same page with what sort of flavors they like with music. He’s also like… Surprisingly on board whenever Dola starts getting murderous, mostly to help dish out punishment to anyone who messes with his brothers, much to her delight. He helped her score her first kill after all, and Satan’s a little jealous about that (but also flattered that Dola loves him enough to kill for him so that’s also a win).

Anyway this was a lot shdhgdh I think I ended up saying way more than needed? But whatever ajdjsh these will all get linked in a future new infopost so I won’t feel silly going on and on and on about Dola’s relarionships with everyone.

#chat & colloquy #magicnature321 #dolasach #her relationship with luke is much much much simpler because she keeps it simple with him on purpose #because shes not that fond of or comfortable with children but learns to be #specifically with luke #not that she was even an ass to him shes not that mean #she just didnt know what to do with him for the longest time

[thisguyilike]

5.3 Diabetic Peace Offering

The time to draw numbers arrives. Emmy waits patiently with her partner, Tea. Emmy appears extremely surprised, almost happy. Tea actually looks happy, too, unlike the stoned face he has almost every day. Strangely, the woman working with the number generator handed the two separate numbers from the box. Honestly, Celeste has never seen Emmy look so thrilled.

"Wow, Emmy's hanging out with Tea now," Celeste says, surprisingly finding a small hint of envy. No, there is never any envy for someone else hanging out with Emmy. The envy lies at the point where Emmy has made greater progression with Tea than Celeste has with Hyde.

She sighs, and looks to the right. Hyde, surprisingly, is in the club with her. Many chances God has thrown to her (including their pair up for the activity), none barely generated any progression that made an impact. At least Hyde is good at cooking, her arse is saved. On the other hand,  he seems to be staring at the two as well. Specifically, Tea.

"Gosh, is he the one I have to look out for?! God, why does this feel so unfair?"

"Ugh, whatever... here's the handout from Mr. Bakershop," She looks away from the two emerging lovebirds, eyes quickly running through the basics. The title reads out 'Vanilla Cupcakes, The Only Thing You Can Impress Your Guests With!'  slurred atrociously in a squiggly font. It doesn't seem so difficult, but obviously there is a need to run it down with someone else when it comes to cooking with Celeste. "Hey, what do you think about this?"

She has done this too many times; looking beside her to find the same old guy that happens to end up in almost all of her group works. The same guy that's beside her when she's dealing with homework. Same guy that sulks to her for every girl he had ever liked that failed miserably for him. Hyde, still in a kind of trance, is unresponsive.

Celeste waves a hand in front of the mesmerized man.

"Okay okay— what do you want??" Hyde whines, breaking eye contact from the scene.

"What do you mean what do I want?! That's my question!" Celeste yells. "I was asking you about the cupcakes we're making."

"Uh... okay." He crushes the slip of paper in his fist. The same slip of paper they drew from the random number box.

"Wait, you're trying to pair up with Tea, aren't you?" She pushes forth.

"Uh..." He rambles, his mind scattering to find words. "...I think so??"

"What, aren't you excited to be paired up with me?!"

"Why would I be excited?? You can't even fry an egg."

"But I can boil water? Oh and I got the best cooking genes from my mom, you know that." Celeste says. "I'm your best shot at making the best dish here."

"Yeah, your mom can cook." Hyde laughs to himself. "Doesn't mean you can though."

"Oh come on. Don't be such a prick," Celeste continues to try her hand to convince him to stay. It does sting a little given his attachment to Tea, but she can't fault him for that.

"I thought Emmy was one of your very best friends?? You don't wanna be with her??" Hyde says. "What, unless you jealous she's hanging out with Tea?"

"Why the heck would I be jealous?! Excuse you, see..." Celeste eyes Emmy and Tea, desperate for any excuse. "Um... can't you see that they're having a moment?"

"What?" He gives her the most dumbfounded look. She bites her lip nervously.

"Them!! Look!"

"What the hell do you mean?? He likes... wait wait, huh." Hyde squints his Asian eyes to study the behavior of the two. He seems... surprised. Maybe her convincing skills do not need that lesson of polishing after all.

"See? See??" She motions her hands around the two, gaining an unnecessary surge of confidence from her random claims.

"Oh my God, I'm an idiot, you're right." He says in such a genuine tone that it caught even Celeste off guard. She bags the sense of achievement anyway. "So he was talking about her, as in Emmy."

"Huh... Ha, of course I am! Don't you dare take it back."

"Oh my God, all this time I thought he liked you," Hyde says, deadpan. He slowly turns to her. "That means I..."

"What in the world?? Why would he do that?"

"I don't know. He was looking at the netball girls so I just assumed." Hyde shrugs, still unable to believe the discovery. "He even asked to be in the chatroom, see?"

"Yeah but how does that pertain me?" Celeste tilts her head, innocently fishing for his compliments.

He stares at her for a few. She returns it with a confused look.

"Uh, your head is so big. Obviously." He whips his head away quickly enough to startle her, snatching the printed recipe from her hands. "So I just thought he was looking at you, lol."

"Yeah yeah, whatever." Celeste folds her arms. She then takes a minute to process the information. "Wait a minute. All this time you were just trying to set me up with him??"

"Huh?? Uh, yeah." He actually starts with the real reason they were there; baking.

"And you dragged me into this club, thinking you could set me up with him."

"Yeah," Hyde says nonchalantly. "Can you pass over the flour? I need it sifted."

"So you're saying I could have been doing something else right now," She passes it over to him as she speaks. "I could have been playing netball right now?!"

"It's not that bad, is it?" He said, seemingly a little disappointed. Searching the work bench, he holds out a cupcake mold to her face. "Here, I'll dedicate this cupcake I'm making to you. Peace offering."

"I can't believe you." Celeste folds her arms grumpily.

She continues watching him do all the work: mixing; sifting; folding, lining the tray with baking paper. She starts feeling unproductive.

"May I decorate our cupcakes?"

"Damn, but I wanted to decorate it." He says while stealing glances at her. She gives him a toothy pout, one he could not fight against most of the time. In response, he sighs softly and gives in. "Too bad, I guess your taste in cashews and almonds is way better than mine. Go nuts."

"Hehe, obviously. There won't be any regrets making me décor master today!" Celeste cheers confidently. "The artistic side of me is screaming."

"Too bad your mom only taught me how to actually make the dessert." He says, carefully dolloping the cake batter into the muffin tray.

"Whatever you say won't let you take back what you've said Hyde!" She excitedly runs off with the batter to the ovens, safely supervised by teachers. "I'm still decorating!"

"Cute." He says to himself audibly, unbeknownst to him that she could hear him fully well.

[passionguavagreentea]

The Glamorization of Hustle Culture

This will be a ramble-filled, multi-blog-post series revolving around hustle culture and its bizarre glamorization.

The Impacts of Hustle Culture on Relationships

I am going to start this off with, I don’t think there are truly any positive impacts to partner-relationships when hustle culture is involved. There, I said it. Would you agree? Maybe some space from your partner or bringing in more income to your relationship would be the few benefits I could think of that could positively impact a relationship. But other than those two, I could not tell you any more. On the other hand, I do believe there could be positive impacts on relationships within your family. For instance, I think working and showing a good work ethic could be inspiring to your children, making you a role model to them. Getting your work done so you can take your kids to beautiful places that they will remember forever, thanks to you and your hard work. Giving your kids a household that is financially stable, and up to par for them. Though there are downsides to these 'positive impacts'; if you are gone all day, and don’t see them until bedtime or only in the morning right before school, they might feel a sense of abandonment or neglect. Could you imagine the words of your four-year-old asking you, “Why aren’t you ever home?” Yeah. Heartbreaking. This in turn could have long-term effects on the child, it could develop into something more severe down the line as they grow older, such as trauma. Being present around your children as they are in their most important developmental stages is crucial to their growth.

When I was a child, growing up my father was (and still is) a hard worker and has the biggest work ethic I’ve ever known someone to have. He runs his business and works seven days a week, all day. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him relax unless a huge blizzard outside prevents him from leaving - but even then he will try to find something to do around the house. This caused some issues, for my siblings and I, as we didn’t see my dad nearly as much as a child should when we were growing up. We would go have a family day on Sundays, but other than that he was working, and these family days that we looked forward to eventually sizzled away; part of our past. Hustle culture in a way, took my dad away during those crucial times of my life, and it really caused an impact.

Then of course, it also comes down to the Hispanic culture that he prides himself with. The Hispanic work ethic is possibly one of the strongest out there, they know that in order to make money they need to be working. They cracked the code, right? But the issue is they over work themselves. Why? Could it be due to the completely unfair wage gap that they receive, even though they bust their backs for over 12 hours a day, which in turn drives them to work more hours? Or could it be because they need the money to send to their families from their home country? Here's the other thing that not a lot of people understand from the Spanish culture (and dozens of other cultures too); young adults immigrate to the States and take any job that they can. They then start supporting their family, like their parents and grandparents, siblings, aunts, and everyone, back in the country that they grew up in (fun fact: my dad immigrated to the States when he was 16; he left without notifying his family until they started receiving letters from him months after from Los Angeles).

I have a few stands on this area, I stand by supporting your family by sending them money, but then I've experienced the negative impacts within my family. Having been negatively affected, and this is a tad bit sensitive of a subject, I will hold off on voicing more of my opinion.

It all boils down to the ability to equally split your time to be there for your kids and spouse, as well as to support your family outside of the States. It's a constant and vicious cycle to be stuck in; hustle culture that is. Finding balance, and harmony, and being able to maintain healthy relationships with your family. Hustle culture surrounds and influences us in all different ways. It is said that America is the dream place to reside in, but is working 72 hours a week really the dream?

[crisishauntline]

There’s something devastating about trying to share something you love with the person you love and they just fucking hate it. No matter what you say about how it has shaped and healed you, how it isn’t so different from the things they love, how not having the same favorite things as someone else is different from being incompatible with them… what you get over and over again is not disinterest, not dislike, but hatred and disdain and hurt.

I don’t know how many more times I can have this conversation with L about the false dichotomy she’s constructed between religion/spirituality/mysticism and science. I understand how weaponized religion has hurt her, as a colonized person, a queer woman, a scientist. But it really hurts me that she can’t see how much more there is to these things than one strand of Christianity. It hurts that she can’t see the divinity in science, and the science in divinity. That nothing is sacred to her. That in this conversation suddenly everything must have a “point” or a useful purpose—even though I know that’s not how she feels about art, or music, or a host of other things that enrich our lives.

She asked me what divinity is to me and said she wants to understand. When I told her it was chaos and wholeness, hope, wonder, confluence, grace, she bristled and asked if I thought she was devoid of those things. That reaction made me so sad.

Of course I don’t think she is devoid of those things. I see all of them in her in such great abundance that it overwhelms me at times. Because she is divine to me. And because loving her is divine, just as learning and scientific inquiry and philosophy and homoerotic mysticism and folklore and cryptids and wordplay are all divine, divine, divine, divine, divine! I am bursting with eagerness to show and share all this abundance with her—yet when I tell her about it, she only hears me somehow telling her what she lacks.

My heart feels sick. I don’t know what to do with this feeling. We’ve talked and talked and that hasn’t helped at all. She said she felt I wasn’t even trying to listen to her and asked if she’d had no impact on me at all. Which also made me feel like shit. I rushed to reassure her that she had and that I would try to listen harder, but fuck it, I was listening. I validated everything she said, even the things I didn’t agree with, and I agreed with every positive personal value she expressed. The best she could offer me, for all her avowed effort and attention to listen to me, was to begrudgingly remark, “if it’s any consolation, I don’t think humanity will ever outgrow religion anyway.” That was not fucking consolation. That was the same disdain and condescension dressed up as a concession.

All I needed was for her to acknowledge that the beauty and value I find in religion/divinity is real and valid, at least to me. I didn’t need her to adopt my worldview, but just to imagine a world in which our values coexist. I certainly don’t see them as being in conflict or mutually exclusive. But I think for some reason, she needs to see them that way.

A lot of it boils down to, I think, the sense I have that she wants to meet my needs, but at the same time thinks that if I “really” loved her and saw her, my needs would be different. And if my needs don’t change, I must not see her or love her enough to not throw her away again. If she doesn’t change me, she must mean nothing to me. I understand the wounded place it’s coming from, but hey, call me an asshole bc I think that’s a false, unfair, and immature way to relate to someone you love.

#love life #personal #religion #spirituality #mysticism #science #philosophy

[yandere-sins]

Past and Future

Horrortober Day 2: Decision  |  “It’s your decision. Choose wisely.”

Day 2 woop! Got a chance to work on my Kazuha a bit more. I hope to write for him more in the future!

Warnings: Yandere, Manipulation, Possessiveness, Stalking Mention Characters: Kadehara Kazuha x Reader

Kazuha couldn’t not notice the yearning in your gaze as you looked across the plaza at your old friends. These scumbags. Wannabe goody-two-shoes. Oh, how much he despised them. And yet, you longed for their laughter in your ears, the wrinkles in their eyes as they grinned and smiled at each other cheerfully. They were celebrating something Kazuha didn’t know about. But undoubtedly, you remembered after having been close to them since early childhood. 

And yet, you didn’t belong to their circle anymore. You hadn’t been invited to wine and laughter, food and celebration. Instead, you absentmindedly squeezed his hand tighter, and Kazuha took that as a sign. “Come on,” he mumbled, watching how sadness overcame you with every passing second. Frustration and anger, but mostly disappointment, snaked their way into your expression. You had been so excited for today, going out with him, exploring Liyue Harbor with your boyfriend, but the mood was ruined now. 

When you didn’t react, Kazuha used his free arm to lay it around you, pushing you forward despite your feet being unwilling to move. Part of you wanted to go to your friends, to join them in their festivity. But without being invited, you were way too hesitant to approach, and it hurt you even more. Your head hung low as you two finally disappeared in the crowd of people working and shopping, the night market making for a great scene. Still, you couldn’t take it in anymore after remembering your past heartbreak now.

Kazuha wasn’t the type to leave you alone, never wishing to be separated from the warmth and comfort you gave him by being by his side, but in your depressed state, it was hard to do anything with you. Placing you on a bench, Kazuha left to get you something to drink. His mind was wrecking itself of how to help you as he bought your favorite, seasonal beverage, still hot and steaming in its cup, and brought it back to you. 

Unfortunately, no one heard the clattering sound as he dropped it, watching you talk with some of your old friends. When did they come over to talk? Why were they here? How did they notice you? Why now of all times? This was his evening. His time with you. And yet, you hadn’t been as happy with him all night as you were when you talked to them. Kazuha’s expression changed from worried to upset as he had to watch you laugh with them, even though the mood seemed awkward from afar. Maybe they were apologizing, or perhaps just trying to replicate the good old times with you, but you seemed very receptive to their presence, smiling in a way that you never did when you were with Kazuha. 

It had taken a lot to break you guys apart. Not willingly, but they weren’t a good influence for you. He had never done anything to them, but one day they had decided they didn’t like the way he looked at you. That Kazuha was too ‘possessive’ and that the ‘took up all your time’. They told you to stay away from the outsider, to ignore the soft, wonderful feelings you two had for each other—the strong bond you were forming with your boyfriend. Your friends decided he wasn’t good for you but were they really your friends when they made you choose between them and your love? Gods, he hated what they did to you. Hated how miserable they could make you. You had been so nervous and anxious after they started harassing you to leave him, crying at night and into his shoulder when you didn’t know what to do. The first time you said you loved him was while you were assuring him that you still had feelings for him; that being the reason why it was so hard on you to be forced to make this decision. It wasn’t a romantic moment, but one filled with tears. Kazuha would never forgive them for robbing him of his amazing confession from your lips.

However, in the end? You chose him—naturally. You chose him for this very reason. Because you love him. Kazuha never made you decide. Sure, he didn’t like your friends, but he didn’t go out of his way to engage with them. He only ever had eyes for you, following you whenever you met with your so-called friends and making sure you’d be safe from them. However, he was better than them, and even if they made you cry on your way home, he never once went back to hurt them just as much as they hurt you, even if his blood was boiling. Kazuha would rather spend his time comforting you, asserting his place in your heart, than stick to the ones who were desperately trying to tear him out of said place. 

But maybe he should have.

Maybe he should have demanded that you decide on one side. After all, you were already distancing yourself from these people that kept hurting you in the name of ‘only wanting the best for you’. He was the best for you. There was nothing that could be better for you than Kazuha. He was strong; he was safe for you. No one else tended to you as gently and lovingly as he did. Comforted you when you were down. You had to wear the burden of everyone around you, but Kazuha only committed to you and your worries. He was the saving grace and the helping hand you needed in your desperation. The person your friends should have been if you had actually mattered to them. 

In return, you were the same for him. You gave his life a meaning that he had long searched for. A new friend and a love to wake his lonely heart again. No one could ever stir him like you did, and he was thankful. Thankful for the opportunity to be by your side, to warm you on cold nights, and to tell you about the past he never shared with anyone else. You were the listener he wanted; gave him the attention he needed. And Kazuha...

Kazuha wouldn’t lose you now. He couldn’t lose someone again. Not you.

Marching up to you and your friends gathering around, he listened to the meaningless conversation you had. “We’re sorry for saying such harsh things,” and “We were worried about you.” Loads of empty words, in his opinion. But seeing your eyes tear up at them made his heart sting and his blood boil all over again. It made him furious. Furious for you. You deserved so much better than these lies. They didn’t care about you!

Pushing through them without roughly, Kazuha only looked at you, finding your eyes instantly. You were surprised by his appearance but quickly wiped the tears from your eyes and returning to the silly, little smile you usually graced him with. One that was as empty as your friend’s words. One you adapted just to please him and not worry him further, but once he’d put an end to this, Kazuha knew you’d be able to smile at him properly again with a sincere one. 

“Choose,” he prompted, and you raised an eyebrow in confusion while your friends began to grow tense and murmur between themselves. 

“These people-” he made a vague gesture between the few gathered around, “-aren’t good for you, and you know it. They dropped you when you needed them the most while I’ve been with you all this time.”

“You can’t be serious,” you breathed, but Kazuha didn’t confirm your wish. He was serious, even if that meant upsetting you. This was for the best. “It’s your decision. Them or me. Choose wisely.”

“That’s unfair!” one of your friends cried out, upset about his intention, and Kazuha looked at them sharply from the corner of his eye, silencing them effectively. “It’s not unfair,” he shut their argument down, looking only at you as he spoke. “They made you choose first and broke your heart. I never have and never will hurt you. But I am not so sure about the people who already did it once.”

Kazuha’s words had impact; he could see it in your eyes. You, too, remembered the bad times that felt like your heart was ripped into pieces by the people you put so much trust in. And instead, it had been him who was there, making sure you ate and drank in your troubled times, and got rest when you needed it. Even if there was no luxury in his life, he still had been a better friend than any of them. Kazuha completely missed that he suggested dropping you the same way your friends had when he made you choose. He didn’t want to believe you would choose anyone over him after all he did for you. You belonged to him, and he belonged to you. That’s how love worked. 

“I love you.” 

A dirty trick. One that your friends couldn’t use. Kazuha directly pulled at your heartstrings, making you miss a breath as you grew even more blindsided. “I don’t want to lose you, again,” he didn’t hesitate to add, noticing how your friends’ faces grew worried and upset at his words. He was hinting at the bad time you two had gone through. The one that made a part of you die. But you only looked down, hands balling into fists as you felt conflicted. There was no need for you to wreck your pretty head over these nobodies, Kazuha decided, holding out his hand. You only needed him—as much as he needed you. 

Timidly, you reached for his hand, and he gripped yours tightly, pulling you up from your seat and after him, away from these fake friends and their fake worry without another word to them. “It’s better like this,” he assured you, dragging you through the crowd so you wouldn’t be able to look back at your past. He was before you, your future, and he wouldn’t let anyone take you from him and ruin this for you. 

But when you were unresponsive, he threw a glance back over his shoulder, noticing the tears streaming down your eyes. You two came to a stop as he turned around, cupping your face and pulling you into a kiss. Even though your hands came to rest against his chest, pushing, you never managed to escape his grip, forced to kiss him until neither of you could hold your breath anymore. Leaning his forehead against yours, you were left speechless, but not Kazuha.

“I love you. I love you so much. Promise me you’ll never go back to them.” It was hard to commit to that, but his hands grew tighter around your face, desperate to hear it. “You chose me,” he insisted, pain swinging in his voice. “You’re not leaving me.”

There was no way of saying where those emotions came from, but he didn’t give you time to think them over. This was the future he chose, by your side. And that night, you chose it too, even if you ended up not liking it once you found out that your friends had been right all along.

#kadehara kazuha #Kazuha #kazuha genshin #yandere kazuha #yandere!kazuha #genshin impact #genshin #yandere genshin #yandere genshin impact #yandere!genshin #yandere!genshin impact #yandere #yandere imagines #yandere headcanons #yandere scenarios #yandere fanfiction #yandere writing #yandere stories #yandere oneshots #yandere oneshot #yandere drabble #yandere x reader #yandere x darling #Yandere TW #horrortoberchallenge2021

[after-witch]

A Simple Cup of Tea [Yandere Scaramouche x Reader]

Title: A Simple Cup of Tea [Yandere Scaramouche x Reader]

Synopsis: You have to be prepared and poised and perfect. But it’s hard to be all those things, even with the looming threat of your husband sitting next to you, when you’ve got a secret hidden underneath your clothes...

Word Count: 1875

Notes: yandere, forced marriage, abuse, bondage, NSFW 

Poised.

You must be poised. Every movement, every gesture, must embody a quiet grace. Your face must be pleasant, without seeming garishly joyous. Your voice must be soft, melodic, clear; yet loud enough to be heard without being required to repeat yourself. 

You must know how to keep a conversation going smoothly, like water in a stream, yet understand when to keep silent. You must know all of these things and so much more, and act on them at all times in the proper degree; all in order to avoid embarrass yourself and more importantly, embarrassing your husband.

In other words, you must be perfect.

And you try--you have to try, because what other choice does Scaramouche leave you?--but it’s difficult. You were never born for this stifled life he’s pushed you into, for a life spent mostly within the walls of his home or at most, behind the high, impenetrable walls of the courtyard.

A life draped in rich clothing, overseeing fine details of the estate that make your head spin. How many bags of this or that must be ordered per week? When should the bedding in that room be washed? What is the appropriate amount of money to put in a servant’s purse when sending them to the market? Questions you never imagined yourself asking yourself, which now fill your day with a gilded tedium.

There’s a deceptive leisure lurking underneath everything here. True, you no longer have to travel far and wide, selling your family’s wares from heavy baskets carried on your back; you no longer have to search the edges of the forest for edible plants to toss into boiling broth on days when you could not afford meat. You never want for food (unless he takes your dinner away as punishment) and any comfort you could need is within reach, so long as you’re behaving.

But you are on edge, always. Preparing yourself for another pitfall that might open up beneath your feet, and always looking for ways to improve yourself. Or at least ways to avoid earning your husband’s sharp disapproval. Regardless of your efforts, you have been on the wrong end of a harsh insult, a slap, a pinch, a cane, more times than you care to count.

Be prepared, be poised, be perfect. It’s the mantra you repeat to yourself every morning.

The mantra you repeated to yourself this particular morning, in preparation for a meeting he insisted you attend. A meeting which apparently required your finely-tuned skills in pleasing conversation and your much-practiced ability to “pour a passable cup of tea.”

Anyone else might assume it was meant to be an insult, but your time with Scaramouche has led to you to understand that the slightest praise towards you, while minuscule to others, was something you were meant to fall on your knees and thank him for. Sometimes literally, depending on his mood.

Why he wanted you to pour tea for some delegates from Fontaine, and what their increasing presence in the area really meant, you didn’t know. But it wasn’t your place to ask him, and the memory of recent stinging pain on your backside keeps you from feeling even remotely tempted to broach the subject.

So here you are. Dressed elegantly, but not garishly, as is proper for his wife. With a tea pot in your hand and perfectly arranged cups and the ghost of a pleasing smile on your face. Charming words drip from your lips, pleasantries, pleasantries, pleasantries--the type of words Scaramouche loathes yet drums into you all the same.

Prepared, poised, perfect.

Except for the slight tremble of your hands.

Except for the uncomfortable hitch in your breath as you speak.

Except for the fact that there are ropes tied snugly around your breasts, wrapping around your chest and criss-crossing between your breasts with an uncomfortable pressure, all hidden underneath the outfit he’d chosen for you that afternoon.

You’d balked, first--then begged. Begged not to be humiliated like this. What if someone sees? What will people say? You’d even tried to appeal to his pride, suggesting that if you couldn’t fully concentrate on your duties, well, how would that reflect on him?

All that earned you was a glint of a smirk and a tug as he knotted the rope encircling your breasts, making it even tighter than before. His final threat at your continued pleading--”I can always make you go out in nothing but the ropes”--finally shut you up.

And so, here you are. Face hot with shame and something more, silently pleading that your clothing won’t somehow shift and reveal the secret underneath. Despite the layers covering you, you still feel naked, exposed. As if the people indulging in polite conversation can see right through you, see the way your breasts are framed by the itchy ropes. See the way your body is responding to such a total humiliation. 

It’s not just the chafing rope that bothers you. It’s the pressure itself. It feels… no, you don’t want to think about how it feels.

Instead, you hone your focus in on the task at hand. Pouring the tea, a nice subtle blend made with Violetgrass flowers. A previous round of guests from Fontaine had enjoyed it so well that Scaramouche had you tell the teashop to start stocking up for future visits.

You wish you could hide the way your hand trembles ever so slightly as you pour the last cup of tea for a woman whose name you regrettably can’t remember. You normally repeat their names over and over in your head, lest you forget and endure Scaramouche’s sharp tongue (if not his cane) later on; but your predicament made it impossible to keep track of new information.

You might be able to enjoy the tea, enjoy the facsimile of polite conversation weaving its way around the table, if only you weren’t so distracted by the tightness, the chafing, the undeniable fact that--oh Archons above, that all of this was making your nipples humiliatingly hard underneath your clothing.

“Do you agree, wife?”

All eyes glance at you. Whatever Scaramouche just said had clearly be addressed to you, only you were too distracted to notice.

In the moments that you’re left half-gaping, mentally groping to somehow pull his previous words out from the ether, his hand snakes around your waist. You feel his fingers on the outside of the soft fabric, searching until they find their intended target--the knot--and tugging hard to tighten it further.

You gasp, your body lurching upward and forward at the sudden sensation of your breasts being squeezed, and the tea pot you’re still holding drops to the table. Time seems to slow to a thick crawl, and you can see the pot is not cracked, but tipped over, hot tea spilling onto the table underneath with abandon.

The sight of the dark brown stain spreading, trickling underneath saucers and cups, leaves you helpless until you force your shaking hands to grab the pot and set it back up on the table.

“I, I--” you start to stutter something. An apology? An explanation? But the constricting ropes and the dawning realization that you have just committed an extensive social faux pas--in front of guests, no less--leaves you helplessly unable to speak.

The guests, for their part, look suitably uncomfortable. The woman whose name you can’t remember is holding onto her cup, saving it from being intercepted by the trickling tea. You don’t know whether their looks are because of your embarrassing display or because they know your husband’s reputation, and feel pity for you. Perhaps a bit of both.

Scaramouche’s voice cuts through the tension, though it does nothing to lessen it.

“I apologize for my wife’s clumsiness,” he says. “I should have realized that she wasn’t up to the apparently complex task of serving tea.” His voice is dripping with condescension, making more heat rise to your cheeks.

Humiliation does not begin to describe what you feel as he gently--public appearances, you think--takes your arm and stands, bringing you with him.

“Perhaps you are ill.” He looks you up and down, faux-concern written all over his face. But you know what he’s really thinking about, as his eyes linger on your chest for a fraction longer than they should.

You swallow hard, and do your best to nod. It doesn’t take any effort to look ashamed at what’s transpired.

“I--I have been feeling unwell,” you say, making sure to project loud enough for the audience he’s curated for you. “I may be too tired.”

He shakes his head, as if he can’t believe your silliness. A silly, silly wife--that’s what you are. Never mind that it’s all his fault. Never mind that he chose to do this to you, and chose to do it in front of guests. 

A small, bitter part of you resents the guests for being there at all, resents the fact that they probably know you’re an unwilling ornament to the Harbringer’s obsession but do nothing about it.

But what good does resenting them do, when it won’t change your fate?

He takes your hand and gives it a pat, each touch patronizing to the core.

“Apologize to our guests and go rest. And send someone more capable to clean up your mess.”

You have to apologize for the fact that you spilled tea due to his decision to engage in some perverse bondage in a public fashion. You have to apologize for the fact that he deliberately made you do it, too, knowing how you might react when he pulled the rope.

It’s horrible and humiliating and unfair. 

But you do it anyway.

Turning towards the guests, gaze downcast with shame, you force out an apology; keeping your voice soft and melodic and clear, as expected.

Then you retreat as calmly as possible, feeling everyone’s gaze--but especially his--on your back as you leave. You catch the eye of the nearest servant as you make your way back to the bedroom, laying out the quickest version of events and not relishing the look of anxiety that crosses their features at the thought of dealing with Scaramouche after such an apparent social travesty.

But you only have enough energy to consider your own anxieties, so you continue on without thinking more about them.

Walking only seems to make the feeling of constriction worse, and you bite down on your lip as your sensitive nipples begin rubbing against the fabric with every step. It feels good, it feels bad--whatever it is, it’s all too much, and you want nothing more to cut off the ropes and hide until the morning.

Not that you have the courage to risk such an endeavor.

You don’t feel any calmer by the time you reach your shared bedroom, but at least your humiliation is a private one, now. And you can rest, at least until he’s finished for the evening. For a moment, you simply stand still, bringing your arm across your chest and pressing to provide some pressure, some relief, to your sensitive breasts. 

There’s an undeniable twist in your stomach when your arms brush against your nipples, and you hate it, and you love it, and you feel just as sick and perverse as he is when you slide a hand inside your clothing and give one aching nipple a pinch. You rub your legs together and ah, there it is--the pleasurable tingling and beginnings of wetness, and well, why not give yourself some pleasure, you think; why not give yourself something good and pleasant before he comes in and ruins everything with whatever sick punishment he’s concocting? 

It’s not until you make to curl up on the large bed, eager to relive the tension building inside you, that you see the scroll wrapped up on the pillow. With a sense of justifiable dread building in your stomach, you sit, and unfurl it. 

The words are written in Scaramouche’s familiar handwriting:

“Take off your clothes. Lay down and spread your legs on the bed until I return. Don’t touch yourself. I will know if you haven’t followed my instructions.”

Bastard, you think. As if your humiliation today wasn’t strong enough. Your hands go to undue the fastenings keeping your clothes together, and the first hints of bare skin leave you with anticipatory goosebumps. How long would you be expected to be on the bed, presenting yourself for his apparent pleasure? 

Bastard, bastard, bastard.

But--well. At least he didn’t tell you to bend over the caning stool again.

#yandere scaramouche #yandere genshin impact #scaramouche x reader #yandere #afterwitch writes