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titaniasfairy · 4 months

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WILDEST DREAMS

CHAPTER ONE

series summary: you hate anakin skywalker. but can you resist him during your week-long tropical trip with him?

cw: fem!reader, anakin is a dick, bickering, seriously anakin sucks, enemies to lovers, fuckboy!anakin, forced proximity trope, only one bed trope, eventual smut

chapter summary: your friends have planned a week long trip to some tropical island. only you’re forced to stay in a room with the man you hate most, anakin skywalker.

an: hi y’all it’s bear 🐻!! this is my first series everrrr omg i’m so excited. i’m such a sucker for enemies to lovers so i thought i’d write some. i’m not sure how many chapters this will be please enjoy!!

wc: 1.5k

———

god you hated anakin skywalker. you hated his stupid guts.

you hated the way he’d be so nice and caring to every one in your friend group— except you, of course.

they’d be laughing about some story anakin told (that wasn’t even that funny) when you’d open your mouth, only to regret it when his judgmental gaze met yours. your smile would immediately fade and you’d refuse to speak for the rest of the night. but anakin was just fine, engaging in flirtatious banter with other girls at the bar.

did he have to be obvious with his intentions? such a man whore.

you hated how he was good at everything. always offering to fix things for your friends, never charging them anything because he’s so selfless.

but obviously when you called your friend to say your car was having issues , their immediate response was

‘just call anakin! he’s fixed my car plenty of times. i’m sure it wouldn’t be a bother to him!’

you really didn’t want to call anakin, but you figured that there was no other choice. you stood outside your car on the side of the busy street. the wind was blowing and it was getting colder as the sun went down.

maybe your friend was right. maybe if you just called anakin he’d look at your car and give you a ride home. it wouldn’t be a bother, right?

oh but how it would be. you called 3 time only to go to voicemail each time. after what seemed like forever, you got a response when a mutual friend asked him to answer you.

“hello? anakin?”

“what do you want?” he huffed out, already tired of you without you even saying a word.

“anakin my car’s broken down. do you think you could come check it out?”

it was like you could hear his eyes roll through the phone. he’s so damn childish. he answered after a few grunts.

“maybe. where’s it at?” his voice was hesitant, he obviously did not want to help you at all.

“over by scott street..”

“seriously? that’s on the other side of town, dude. no way i’m going out there.”

you could hear a lighter spark on the other line as anakin lit up a cigarette. another thing you hated about him, that nasty smoking habit.

“anakin please! i can’t afford to take it in right now and i’ve got no ride back home, everyone’s busy.”

you didn’t know why you begged so hard to get him to help you. honestly, you could’ve called a local shop to tow your car and get it looked at. for some reason you were drawn to him and his rudeness.

“whatever, but you’re paying me for this.” he took a drag from his cigarette, and you could hear him exhale through the phone.

“thank you so much oh my god i don’t know what i’d do without you! i’ll pay you whatever you want i pro-“

anakin hung up the phone.

your relationship did not improve after this occurrence. you thought that since you two “bonded” over the silence of the ride back to your place , or since he sent you a very cut and dry message saying that there was something wrong with your alternator, or since you paid him through venmo that you two would get along.

but alas, you were wrong. in fact this only made you hate him more. what did you ever do to him? it’s not like you’ve ever been rude to him or anything. in fact he’s the one that’s rude. you should be the one acting like him!

why do you even care so much? you don’t want his attention. you’d rather die than have those gorgeous ocean blue eyes stare at you from across the room.

he’s not even worth thinking about. anything that leaves his mouth is just mean and crude towards you. mouth. anakin’s mouth. those plump pink lips that wrap so perfectly around a cigarette-

that too! why would you ever want someone with a nasty smoking habit. you bet his lungs are tar black and gross. another reason that you shouldn’t care about anakin skywalker.

but you can’t help but get a little excited when your friends say that they’ve planned a big trip for their spring break— a lavish vacation to some tropical island.

of course all of your friends were bringing their respective partners, so you were stuck to room with anakin. you wish you could deny the thoughts that rushed into your head when you were told this. there’d be optimal space and two beds so there’d be no need to worry, you were told.

you packed accordingly: skimpy swimsuits, breathable dresses, short cut jean shorts. you secretly wonder how anakin will react to your outfits. you also pack a number of headache pills and hangover cures. lord knows how drunk you’ll be over there.

maybe you’d be drunk enough to forget your stupid crush on stupid anakin.

———

today you would leave for the airport with your friends. jason would pick you all up from your places to carpool to the airport in his jeep with his girlfriend.

but of course, plans changed and now amy and brad would ride themselves to the airport. since jason doesn’t need all that room they’d just take his girlfriend’s car! but they can only fit the two of them and their luggage.

in summary, anakin would be forced to drive himself to the airport, along with you. another decision that your friend had to beg him to make. were you really that annoying?

you had planned to leave at 5:30 am to get to the airport at 6:00, which gave you enough time to board at 7:00 and arrive on the island at 10:00. this was all discussed thoroughly in the travel group chat so everyone knew what to do.

but anakin apparently didn’t see it. he gets to your apartment at 6:00 and the two of you barely make it to the airport in time to board and take off.

the drive was miserable. anakin was absolutely not a morning person, who didn’t listen to anything you had to say. the moment you’d get out a word he’d turn up his obnoxiously loud music on his stereo.

it wouldn’t have been a moment with anakin without his constant complaining, either. you were told how you “ruined this trip” for him with you going. anakin said he was supposed to bring some girl with him but was told there was no room since you were coming along.

you were in no mood to bicker, so you just stayed silent until you reached the airport. now you’d only have to deal with the stress of tsa.

thankfully, once you boarded the plane everything went fine. you were seating next to an older couple who just renewed their vows, and other than the old man’s occasional snoring there really wasn’t an issue.

as the plane landed you noticed the beautiful scenery on the island. the pretty trees and clear blue waters under a cloudless sky made you excited for the week to come.

the itinerary jason’s girlfriend made said that you were to check in around 11:30 and hang around the resort area until 7:30 where your group would have a dinner on the beach.

the resort was absolutely stunning. with a perfect view to the beach, it was like you were in a castle by the sea. inside the lobby were beautiful marble statues and detailed artworks hung on every wall. how did your friends afford this?

after what felt like standing in line for hours in the check in line, you finally found yourself in front of the door to your room that you and anakin would share for the week. you entered the key and the door unlocked, leading you to a beautiful sunlit room with a window looking onto the water.

only this didn’t look like the room on the website. there was only one bed. well actually, there was a bed and a pullout couch but there was no way you would be sleeping on that. your back would probably ache for the whole trip and that is one thing you will not have.

you called the front desk and told them about the issue, only to be told that there was nothing they could do. the resort was too overcrowded when the booking was made and they had to switch you over into a smaller suite.

thankfully, anakin had not arrived yet so you placed your bags on the bed as a way to mark your territory. ‘first come first serve, skywalker.’ you thought.

you could only imagine what he was doing. maybe he got lost or something, the man couldn’t make his way out of a wet paper bag. or maybe he’s flirting with the front desk attendant. you could only pity the girls that fall in line with anakin.

with all the rush this morning and the exhausting flight, you decided to get a little rest for awhile. you close the curtains to give yourself some darkness and get in the queen-sized bed.

the bed was soft and extremely comfortable with fluffed pillows and breathable sheets. for a second you imagine what it’d be like to lay in bed with anakin, what’d it feel like to wake up next to him in the morning.

but that’s ridiculous. you have no reason to be with anakin, even though he definitely doesn’t want you in the first place. eventually, your thoughts subside and the sound of the waves outside calm you to sleep.

#modern anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x reader #anakin skywalker smut #anakin skywalker #anakin smut #star wars smut #star wars #star wars anakin

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thebest-medicine · 12 days

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Day 18: Magic

Tickletober 2023 - The Owl House - implied lee!Luz lee!Eda and lee!Amity

[see my other tickletober 2023 fics]

A/N: A bit of a different style with this one. Luz discovers a tickle glyph by accident, she details the event in her notes.

[ao3 link]

Words: 500

—

From the journal notes of Luz’ Noceda:

“Glyph Combination Attempt #73”

Description:

Effect: causes a tingling, spark-like sensation of tickling, causing the person in range to laugh uncontrollably for the duration of the effect

Appearance: three rings of concentric circles, light glyph on the right of the outer ring as well as the bottom of the inner ring, plant along the bottom of the middle ring with fire on the top, two fire glyphs on either side of the outer ring light glyph

Possible uses:

Incapacitate the enemy with laughter!

Fighting without damage or causing pain!

Distraction!

Fun prank!

…Amity?

Warnings!!!:

Do not accidentally stand too close when activated!

Be careful how big the glyph is drawn (size and intensity seem to influence how long the effects last)

Experience:

First-Hand Account #1:

I decided to reserve Wednesday afternoon in my schedule to test out new glyph combinations and see what other types of useful combinations we could come up with to help in the fight against Belos. With the Day of Unity coming up, we could use any extra tricks up our sleeves we could get.

I stumbled upon an interesting combination today by accident, when I tried to activate this glyph (see attached sketch on the next page) it had an instantaneous effect. I couldn’t believe it… it, well, it tickled!!!! SO much - OMG! Lucky for me, it was only a minute or two before it wore off. It feel like a hundred fingers and tingly shocks all over all my ticklish spots! I just crumpled to the ground. (I’m glad nobody else was around to see that!) I’ll have to test it out further (ALONE! Or maybe on someone else?) and see what its capabilities are.

First-Hand Account #2:

It’s been two days since I accidentally hit myself with the ‘tickle glyph’. I have carefully drawn up another and decided to enlist Eda to help me test it today.

…

It went hilariously spectacular having Eda try the glyph! She crumpled onto the couch cackling and even tried pulling off her own feet — that didn’t seem to help her though. This one was drawn on a bigger piece of paper and I think it went on a little longer than when I first stumbled on the glyph, but it was a little hard for me to tell how long it was exactly. Eda said she’s going to feed me to the Wumplerampus but I think she’s just bluffing. It was good to see her laugh. I do think, in retrospect now, that perhaps it was not my best idea to teach her this glyph combination…

I’ve decided to create a small stockpile for myself in order to prepare for the worst. And, also, maybe to test them out a bit more with Amity and with the rest of our friends.

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starshine-valley · 7 months

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i would love to hear your akikasa hcs!

-same anon from earlier

OMG!!! Anon ily. I’ve been wanting to share some ship headcanons so here we go!!:

-> Tsukasa is a really damm good cook. He makes Akito breakfast whenever he stays over at the Tenmas.

-> Tsukasa, as seen in the new wxs event, is very open to crying however, Akito still has trouble with crying in front of others (take this part with a grain of salt since I don’t remember too much from the Akito focus events bc it’s been a long time) so Tsukasa helps him be more comfortable about being vulnerable. On the flip side, when Tsukasa is dealing toxic positivity, Akito’s there to set him straight.

-> Akito fell hard, then repressed it, Tsukasa fell harder and accepted it. THEN AKITO FELL EVEN HARDER. They both love each other equally as hard <333

-> This is more self indulgent but Akito and Tsukasa met each other before in childhood. Like playing in the sandbox with them and their siblings (+ the Hinomoris). Akito was drawn to Tsukasa but they eventually parted ways and forgot the memory ever happened.

-> Tsukasa is a filthy jacket stealer !!!11!! (Affectionate)

-> MATCHING RINGS !! Akito wears in on a string and wears it as a necklace under his shirt while Tsukasa wears it on his finger. Guess what? The rings are the color of their eyes cause they’re saps who love staring into each other’s eyes. Tsukasa has green and Akito has orange.

-> HAND KISSES AND FOREHEAD KISSES!! Akito kisses Tsukasa’s hand to make him feel like a prince. Tsukasa kisses Akito’s forehead when he’s upset.

-> Toya is the sane observer in their relationship. Akito and Tsukasa go to them for advice on each other because they’re the childhood friend and best friend of the other so naturally, they go to toya for help. They occasionally go to Rui too but at the same time, don’t trust him enough for it. Even after, they still go to Toya (and maybe sometimes Rui) about where to go on dates or if they get into fights.

-> Akito goes to Tsukasa shows and is supportive but not in a loud way. Meanwhile Tsukasa shows up screaming: AKITOOOOOOO

-> Akito makes fun of Tsukasa affectionately.

-> They’re both super fucking clingy. Tsukasa is more obvious about it while Akito would rather die than admit he’s clingy.

-> They have movie nights and like to cuddle !!

-> They both make playlists for each other! Akito’s playlist made by Tsukasa has Musical Theater songs!

-> Speaking of that, Akito listens to some musicals. Not a lot. Maybe just the mainstream ones or the underground ones. Nothing in the in between.

-> Karaoke double dates with ruitoya (or airiena/shihosaki)

-> Ena gives Tsukasa the “thank god you’re taking him away from me” talk while Saki gives Akito the “Don’t break his heart because I love my brother and want him happy” talk. You can practically see the contrast in the siblings.

-> probably have those dumb matching couples shirts (Tsukasa’s idea)

-> When Tsukasa becomes a world future star or something, he’ll brag in interviews about Akito. Meanwhile, when Akito gets asked about Tsukasa, he’s always like: “why am i with that idiot (affectionate)”

-> Tsukasa’s love language is words of affirmation while Akito’s is quality time.

-> they seem like the type to spoil each other tbh

-> Tsukasa plans to propose and has a whole plan about it while Akito one day just does it, ruining his plans (in the best way possible).

-> If they ever become parents, they seem both like the: Cool parents while also being the strict/worries a lot for their child type.

-> Not really a couple headcanon but Pan boyflux Tsukasa and Demiboy gay Akito. (He/they prns for Akito and He/it for Tsukasa).

I have more for AUs but i don’t wanna make this post super long so here you go anon! Sorry for brainrotting so much 😭🙏🏻

#pjsk #project sekai #prosekai #akikasa #akito shinonome #tsukasa tenma #tenma tsukasa #shinonome akito #i love them <3333 #they’re so adorable and gay i love em #answered asks!!

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unohanabbygirl · 6 months

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Thanks for tagging me babes ☺️ @sapphireblueye

How many works do you have on A03?

7! Five multi-chaptered and two oneshots

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

481,884 (I honestly thought it was more)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

HOTD, specifically Lucemond with some background pairings.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Forget me not

2. Hiding in plain sight

3. Fill my bleeding heart

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! However my timing is always so bad and it makes me feel shitty but I’m the sort of person who needs some time to think out what I wanna say + I get distracted very easily and forget to do so until weeks later. My responses are horribly late but my words are genuine.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hm, I guess it would be by latest oneshot featuring corpse queen Luke with a very mentally unwell Aemond. Very sad.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

The ending isn’t published yet since the story won’t be completed for a while but Hiding in plain sight should be my happiest ending according to my plans. Crazy, I know.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I wouldn’t say I receive outright hate. Maybe a few backhanded responses every once in a while but it’s rare.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

YES! Very emotional, 9/10 there will be tears shed while they fuck nasty.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one

Sadly no. I don’t think I’m the type of person who could pull off clashing two different universes and their characters together. It’s a difficult thing to write in my opinion and the handful of crossovers I’ve downloaded so i’ll never lose them are god-tier. Takes a lot of talent me thinks.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge 🧐

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes. Its translated in spanish

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Nope. My process is a very long drawn out one that I don’t want to stress anyone out with while trying to work alongside me. Sometimes it’ll take me weeks or even months to get a chapter out. Im looking at you FMBH.

However I wouldn’t be co-writing something small if the plot interests me. Maybe four chapters or so? Idk

14. What's your all-time favourite ship

IchiRuki (bleach) and Braime. Samdean is a big one too.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Interesting enough I started a WIP when Lucemond was still new so around December-ish. It’s a dragon shifter AU but I don’t know where to take it so she’ll probably never see the light of day. Lol

16. What are your writing strengths?

Conveying emotions I think. Probably because i’ve been down the depression and crappy self image rabbit hole enough to express it in my works. Internal monologue is also one I’m good at.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Pacing! Omg my pacing is ass. Everything is either too slow or too fast which leads to so much re-editing to get it all flowing in an appropriate time.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don’t do it because google translate isnt very accurate most of the time and language is so important. If I do feel writing dialogue in another language is that important i’ll ask someone who speaks it to help.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Well…does the shitty fic I wrote about Edward/Bella/Jacob in seventh grade count? Because if not then Lucemond it is lol

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Forget me not. She’s an icon, what can I say.

Tagging; @handsome-wise-strong @armonial

#writing game!!#this was fun #i need more mutuals fr

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marmarisgroovy · 1 year

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Some GumLee Valentines 😌💖

They are the ship of all ships 2 me, so much so that my name is Marshall 😂 and my hair is pink.

It’s been a hot second since I’ve drawn them (or uploaded here oops-) and Omg I just love too

I also dk how long they’ve been together but 800 years seemed funny to me so I went with it 😅

Available on my RedBubble as a sticker (link in my pinned post)

#marshallschickenscratches #Gumlee #adventure time #prince Gumball #Marshall lee #princess bubblegum #Marceline #someone tag for me I’m too lazy 😭#Cartoon Network #lgbt

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twilightofthe · 2 months

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writing patterns tag game

Rules: list the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern!

tagged by @loosingmoreletters thank youuuu but i feel bad i haven’t star warsed on main really since the depression diagnosis which has been a few years so the first 4 fics aren’t even SW ;_; Also i put some of my parts from our collab fics to make me feel better about only having published/updated two (2) solo things within the last couple of years xD

Ok but here goes:

1. It’s just after midnight and Wei Ying is mournfully attempting to wash away his blue balls under the tepid-instead-of-cold shower head.

2. Blacking out after summoning however many the fuck demons who live in your head into the living realm does not always last for long, because blacking out means means you’re retreating inside your head where the demons run amok and they really make shitty company for any extended period of time, so sooner rather than later you end up dragging yourself back to consciousness just to avoid them.

3. The thing about being dead is that it’s a very distinct sensation, putting things if not lightly then the only possible way to put them because how does one explain the feeling of death to someone who has never experienced it before?

4. “Hmm…”

5. After two weeks of traveling at sublight with only the distant, unforgiving stars and his own dwindling sanity for comfort, the far-off, twinkling gem of a planet through the viewport would almost be enough to make Obi-Wan cry if crying didn’t take energy.

6. The first time it happens can be blamed on Anakin’s love of questionable quality holofilms.

7. Whenever Anakin thought about maybe changing his mind on his shift-form, he always reminded himself of the massive amounts of hair over the furniture shed from Obi Wan and Ahsoka alone, and how he was more than happy to not add to it.

8. Considering what had happened the last time he was there, Din Djarin hadn’t planned to set foot in the same star system as Tatooine anytime soon, let alone on the planet itself.

9. Anakin was having a shitty day.

10. Trace doesn’t know how long it had been exactly since Ahsoka left them when the galaxy fell apart.

Ok, that’s the past 10! What i realize from them is that firstly, I’m an absolute run-on sentence whore and proud of it lol. Secondly, I internalized WAY too much paranoia about what constitutes a good hook because all of these read like “omg please be drawn in PLEASE be drawn in”. Like they’re not bad, but I can recognize myself and my intentions in my words and I see my eagerness. It’s kind of sweet.

Secondly, I realize that I do really miss Star Wars, but i think a combination of pandemic, a sudden depression diagnosis, and some unpleasant interactions ended up like. Tainting my memories of writing from that era and making it really hard to come back. Plus now I’ve got a newer hyperfixation and i keep reading a bunch of fic for it and stalking people’s tumblr blogs but also doing zero creation of anything to participate. I’ve gotten into some other fandoms in the past two years that make up the first four fics on the list, but even then it’s been hard to publish things that haven’t just been gift fics for my friends, jokes i can take a little less seriously, and collabs that make me less anxious as there’s numbers involved. I really do miss writing though. Like I’m a p decent writer I think, of course I’ve got much to improve, but reading through this and it is NOT as bad as I thought it would be, it’s good! But I wish I hadn’t abandoned so many sw fics, people have been so NICE, and it just feels like I’ve let them down. But I can’t even remember my original ending plans for so much of it and Disney continuing to leech all the joy and energy out of the series hasn’t helped either. But I am still insisting that I’ll be back one day. I will.

#i’ve got like 5/6 unfinished mdzs fics squirreled away on my laptop a few tolkien fics and even a few star wars fics left

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coffeeandcalligraphy · 1 year

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hi!!! so i have been following your YouTube channel since (checks calender) 2018 so it's been a while, and I'm a huge fan, just a lil shy (you're so cool holy shit, your writing is mind blowing, aaaaaa), so ANYWAY the point of this ask is, body back sounds awesome, might i request some more vibes perhaps 👀👀👀

Omg hi!!!! I could cry to learn someone’s been watching my videos for so long 😭 thank you for all your support!! ❤️ when people think I’m cool it makes me v excited because I’m really just a little gremlin IRL! Happy you like my writing & appreciate all the engagement!

Of COURSE I can send more vibes for BB! First, here's just an excerpt because I'm about to go ham under the cut lol:

The pool he floats in belongs to a young couple. The man works real estate according to the signs Harrison’s seen of his face peppered around the neighbourhood. He’s wondered if that’s ever humiliating, to constantly see pixelated versions of yourself everywhere. But that doesn’t matter. His wife walks dogs in her free time, which means always. Last week, Harrison watched her jog with a vizsla, and just yesterday she spent the morning on their gable-roofed veranda brushing a wispy Alaskan malamute. That was the same veranda Harrison passed on his way to their yard’s fence. Perhaps they wanted someone to do what he did: hook his boot into the crisp rung of their gate, then swing right over. Why else would it have been so easy?

More in-depth BB rambles under here!

CW: drug addiction, mental illness, violence & suicide.

This project is taking over me right now, which might be a way of my brain procrastinating finishing Seventh Virtue (LOL), but I’ve learned to just lean into the hyperfixation so we’re here now!

I really felt drawn to write BB because of this extremely complex thing Harrison goes through in Moth Work that unbeknownst to 17-year-old Rachel who wrote it, she reaaaaaallllly relates to now at 21. I've been unable to stop thinking about this since re-reading MW, because I somehow profoundly represented this experience at 17 that I'm now undergoing at 21.

Harrison is supporting someone who needs a LOT of help (at this point in MW, Lonan’s been an addict for about 3 years, is chronically depressed, is in a constant disocciated state, has attempted suicide twice in less than a year). He feels responsible for this because he loves this person very much--he WANTS to help Lonan. But I don't think he realizes how much effort this will entail and that he himself doesn't have the sole power to "fix" anything. But he’s so young—how long can he handle this before he himself breaks?

The answer is: not long! One could say Harrison’s fatal flaw in MW is not wanting to change. He doesn’t WANT to leave Lonan behind because he doesn't WANT to lose him, he doesn’t WANT a relationship with his mom, Suzanna. At the same time, his life is at this tenuous impasse: things CANNOT sustainably continue in the state they're in, but he's terrified of them changing. And by the end of the book, both of those things happen—it’s his arc. The loose end is the prior point: he's terrified of change, but now the change has happened.

What I want to do in BB is take that loose end and light it on fire. I want to show what happens when that change happens. It's NECESSARY change, but in this moment, feels like the worst decision possible. BB is about the in-between space of being in a destructive relationship & eventually putting yourself first. For Harrison, the experience is extremely messy. He craves intimacy badly but has no idea how to love anyone but Lonan. He craves independence but is also scared of it: how do you start your own life when the last few years have been focused on someone else's?

In Moth Work, he creates the beginnings of a relationship with a man named Jeremiah (to be clear: H&L aren’t dating in MW, they never canonically actually date unlike how I make it sound LOL, only in the Seventh Virtue AU are they a couple!). Jeremiah is a really interesting character in Harrison's life because he represents something "normal." Here's when Harrison meets him in MW:

The motel is named after a dead woman—The Greta Arquette. Harrison discovers this while absently thumbing through a brochure at the empty front desk. The lobby is decorated with vintage clocks and floral wallpaper and it makes sense—the woman it’s dedicated to died at 92. He’s on page six when a young man with an earring and a hair pick appears behind the desk.

Harrison shuts the brochure and slots it back into the display. “Can I get a room?” he asks, already fumbling for his wallet.

“Long ride?”

The clerk—Jeremiah, according to his nametag—smiles. His skin glows amber under the lanterns hung from the ceiling, and his hair looks too good for 2AM. The collar of his uniform pastes underneath his sweater, and it’s almost charming, this unnoticed mistake.

Wait up for my video later today (3PM EST!!) where I literally in-depth analyze a couple scenes with Jeremiah (since I talk more about this there), but essentially, Harrison gets a small taste of what it might be like to be a "typical" 21-year-old here. It entails dancing with people you think are cute, enjoying each other's company without doing anything at all, going to breakfast, etc... All things he and Lonan have never done.

In BB, I want to show the breakdown of this "normal" relationship as Harrison more and more self-destructs to self-preserve. He literally cannot handle this change he's incited--who is he at all without Lonan? He doesn't know, and he can't handle that he doesn't know, so he "goes bad." There's brief mentions of this turn in Feeding Habits where Harrison addresses he was a bit of a disaster when he and his mother lived in Las Vegas, which is why his main goal in FH is to "restart" in NYC (and it's why he also gets destructive again in NYC when his second reboot fails).

I always knew elements of what happened to Harrison in Las Vegas, but didn't know the extent. In FH, the only element we're certain of is when he runs into the same woman Lonan runs into in ch. 6 of Moth Work. He essentially ends up being beat up badly, which for him (mostly his mother, Suz) is the last straw and what makes them pack up to NY.

It was only later, when he stumbled, bloody knuckled, through their front door, stepping over partygoers and martini glasses, that he understood. He hadn’t come to the party thinking about Lonan but managed to attract the same people. He hadn’t drunk the magenta liquid thinking about him but managed to exit the house stumbling, as Lonan did, his knees knotted like a newborn lamb's. There was something inconceivably indissoluble about them—their bond mirror-like, one making a decision, and the other mimicking it with vigour somewhere else, unknowingly inseparable.

But I've been wanting to write what happened BEFORE this, in the time between, which is what BODY BACK is going to be! Here's an excerpt from FH (ft. Jeremiah) that takes place during this timeline:

They saw each other in brief, neon stints. Drinking in his one-bedroom, after Jeremiah’s shifts at The Greta Arquette—a dingy motel—clattering, limb by limb, under his Styrofoam disco ball and calling it dance. They knew each other so little but so well. Where each groove of skin and bone on the other’s body was, what limbs could notch so perfectly together, like nubs of old soap fused together.

The vibes are going to be pretty much the above! Mirror balls, pop music, drugs in misty rooms, eat the rich, etc.

I've been excited to write this story because it shows a side of Harrison I only barely understood when I wrote Feeding Habits. It's actually why Feeding Habits was IMPOSSIBLE for me to write, because I was still seeing Harrison in "caretaker" mode when he actually was rejecting that fully. I wasn't used to seeing him make bad decisions. For all accounts, Harrison is a terrible person in FH. He takes advantage of his mother's kindness, he disappears to scare her, he's self-medicating, he's inviting Reeve to his place under the guise of catching up with an old friend when he actually doesn't care at all about her and only wants to see a glimpse of Lonan's face, he's stealing from the vulnerable, and doesn't want to stop any of it. FH is really Harrison's destruction arc, and BB is going to explore HOW that happened--what triggered those events?

I'd always seen Lonan as the "issue" in their relationship. This was natural in a lot of ways since Lonan started out as a literal villain (lol), but also mostly because I emotionally related to him most back when I was writing him. ALLL my negative emotions and struggles went right to him. It's why Lonan was my favourite character all throughout my teenage years. What I didn't expect is that at the age they're at in this book (21), I'd suddenly understand Harrison on a very, very different level. This is also another reason I want to write this like NOW because I'm 21 and in a similar (albeit wayyyy less dramatic) era. Is this sort of going to be autofiction, maybe!

I think in MW, Harrison doesn't feel much like an "adult" yet. in BODY BACK, he KNOWS he's an adult, and goes a little too hard knowing he can do whatever the hell he wants. If Harrison can do what he wants, it means he can reclaim himself even if it means destruction along the way. What's he willing to do to get his body back?

That's a q to ponder!

It's going to be lots of fun! LOL

#writing #fostered #bodyback #mothwork #I love this project sm already even tho I've barely written it #idk how I'm going to be a functional Adult until this thing is out of my brain

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tariah23 · 7 months

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Honestly thanks to you now I know more about fate and naruto than I ever hoped to or than I ever needed to but it is an educational experience! (Also why are new fate characters just...recolored versions of old ones are they like shiny pokemon)

Ahhhhhhhhhh it makes me happy that you read what I have to say about fate stuff (I used to talk more about it/ make more in depth posts/threads but orz…!!! Especially on twitter (long ass threads omg. I stopped because I felt like no one would read them because they were only their for porn anyway *sobbing* but I want to get back to doing so since I do love fate and I miss talking about it on their too.) but I am content with sharing my opinions about how I feel about it and certain characters from time to time.

Fate as a franchise might seem a bit overwhelming to even jump into because of how MUCH content there is of it but trust that when I say that once you actually give any of the works a chance, you’ll really be able to understand just why so many people love it with all their hearts. Even works created by type moon that aren’t fate related. (Which fate had been drawn from anyway!)

The fun thing about fate is that majority of the individual works typically stand on their own. So it isn’t that much of a big deal to simply jump into most fate works as someone who isn’t all that familiar with anything that has to do with it! (Some might require you to at least be knowledgeable of certain characters from older works but even when that is the case, it’s really not that all of a big deal since you’ll be experiencing the characters differently for the most part, and there has been quite a few times where a character who’d previously appeared in one fate work, had made an appearance in another but there might be slight changes regarding their character (possibly because of the influences of others, their past experiences, memories, if they have any, and so on) while still retaining all of the same charm that made fans remember why they loved them so much in the first place. It’s so… ahhhh… (Gilgamesh is a great example of this. He’s an easily lovable character, though, this might heavily depend on what work that you are first introduced to where he’s in it.)

Also, I’m not quite sure what fate characters that you could be talking about ToT (maybe the recent new characters that have either made their debut in the BRAND NEW HIT TYPE MOON GAME, FATE/SAMURAI REMNANT, NOW IN STORES ACROSS THE WHOLE WIDE and is playable on multiple platforms-

Akakakakak (I’m still at the beginning of the game ahhh!!! I love all of the character designs so much and can’t wait to meet them all for myself 🥹!!!) But since I’ve been sharing posts featuring them recently, I’ll just assume that you’re referring to FSR related content!

And NO! They are not recolored, shinny Pokémon sksks. (Funny that you mentioned this since type moon hired the artist who designed all of the Pokemon trainers (I’m guessing but I’m not all that familiar with Pokémon stuff, only as a normie basically), and I now see the recent vocaloid collab, has designed two servants for FGO in the past. Well, technically three…)

Some FGO and FSN characters make appearances in the new game (idk how critical their roles are yet since like I’ve previously stated, I’m still at the very beginning of the game and have been avoiding spoilers. But fate has always been known for splurging and hiring tons and tons of artists to design the artwork for the servants. This goes the same for the multiple spinoff manga as well since most of the fate manga are drawn by different artists with varying styles. (Fate/Type Redline, Fate/Strange Fake, Fate/Grand Order: Epic of Remnant - Shimousa for example, are all manga drawn by completely different artists! The mangaka for the Shimousa manga is also the character designer for the Fate/Samurai Remnant game as well! Love her style so much! I also would HIGHLY recommend checking out all of these as someone who might be even a little bit interested in fate as a beginner sjsjs. They’re all stand alone so there is no need to worry about being confused and lost!!!)

It’s just nice to see artists with such varying styles breathe life into the characters. And like, you will just look at them and go “even though the artists approach might’ve been completely different, overall, it is STILL the same character and I still love them the same even though they might look a little different ^^.” So if you’re familiar with characters like Cu Chulainn, and Gilgamesh in passing, especially, since they do appear in the new game and are two of the oldest fate characters to be present in it, then you’ll get what I mean. All stand alone!

As for Naruto… *looks away* I’ve been a Naruto fan since it first hit the US back in like what, 2005…. Lord……. I feel like it’s beyond nostalgia for me at this point no matter how ridiculous it may sound asjaja. It’s like, not the best thing ever like, AT ALL, BUT, Kishimoto’s stupid ass was definitely feeling himself when he wrote both Naruto and Sasuke’s individual characters. He then went on to eventually throw the both of them into the trash bin when Boruto was doo dooed out into the world but that is for another day. He really did put his whole soul into N and S while shitting all over the paper when it came to writing majority of the rest of the cast and story if I’m being honest 🗿!!! All YOU have to know is that Sasuke was CORRECT and that both he and Naruto deserved so much better. They deserved better childhoods - they deserved to enjoy their youth and not spend the majority of their youth suffering because of the pain and trauma that they’d been forced to experience and endure. And They deserved someone who would love and not hurt them. I’m so glad that they found each other because oh my god…

#sorry anon this was a lot ToT…..#tkf replies #Anonymous #if you ever decide to check out any fate works send me some asks to tell me your feelings about them I’m so nosey lol

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capricioussun · 2 years

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Omg, how many cats does Edge have then? Can you give us headcanons with him and the kitties? 🥺👉👈

I can give you SO many headcanons about kitties

So, I’ve always been a really big fan of the whole “UF Papyrus loves cats” things even though I have NO idea where it came from, I think the juxtaposition with the whole UT Papyrus and Dogs thing is great and works really well for their personalities!

That being said, I also headcanon Edge is a lot like a cat (I’ve even had a comic idea on the back burner for like, over a year that pokes fun at it), but not only that, that he gets along really well with pretty much all animals. He himself doesn’t understand, and never really knew until they surfaced since there aren’t many, if any, regular old animals in the underground, but with really zero effort, animals are just sort of drawn to and trust him.

He predominantly only really has an interest in cats though, and after getting settled up top, and the eventual passing of Doomfanger, Edge wound up volunteering on occasion at local shelters. This was initially to help him cope, and also just because he likes doing things to help others (even if he would never admit it outright), but, well, he’s a softy, and wound up adopting another cat pretty shortly thereafter.

Aaand it became a pattern. Though he usually specifically winds up adopting cats that have health complications or emotional difficulties since he has the time, patience, and finances to take care of and accommodate them (and spoil them rotten, which they deserve). Plus it also gives him the excuse of “needing” to do it because the shelter were having such a hard time homing them, and a lot of them are older, it’s an act of pity more than anything (cue Sans looking into the camera like he’s on the office).

I mean, as he gets older and gets more emotionally sorted himself, he’ll outright admit he just loves cats, but it’s not like that wasn’t obvious the entire time lol

I also like the headcanon that monsters vary a lot more in lifespan than humans, so some monsters (usually specifically stronger monsters) can live for a pretty long time, which gives Edge plenty of years to take care of the many cats that sort of happen upon his life.

He’s taken in a few strays he’s come across, if the timings right, and he always has at least one cat (usually two or three), but he never has too many at a time because he does still have a pretty lively job working for the embassy, and being special needs cats usually, he wants to be able to dedicate a lot of specific time to each of them, and he wouldn’t be able to if he had 10+ cats running around the joint.

He doesn’t really have a preference appearance wise, but he does lowkey have a soft spot for black cats because they see a lot of them at shelters, and they’re rather notorious for being targeted for being “””bad luck”””.

There’s no real one size fits all approach with the cats, so some of them will wear collars, others won’t, he’s had cats he had to give occasional baths, and cats he’d take out on a leash for walks. He takes his job as a pet parent very seriously and tries his best to give the cats a life he feels they deserve.

Thanks to his inner Snow White, even some of the most emotionally complicated cats will come around to him, and he always appreciates the company the cats provide, lounging on him at their discretion.

He would never ever ever admit to it, but sometimes their purring can ignite his own, and if you caught him at the right time, you might find him lounged on the couch with a cat or two snuggled on him, all present purring away.

He also talks to them. It’s pretty common to hear him talking to them, as usually, his cats eventually start following him around or staying in the same room as him, he’ll even talk “with” them, responding to meows and whatnot. Helps him think, and the cats seems to like it, or at the very least don’t mind.

He’s not one for dressing them up, but one year for Gyftmas, at Sans’ request, Toriel made matching sweaters for him and his two cats at the time (Arson and Larceny). At first he thought it was his brother being, well, his brother, but when Sans explained what they were, it didn’t feel as mocking as Papyrus had expected, teasing, yes, of course, but it also felt like Sans was actually almost excited to gift it to him.

So of course he wore the ridiculous thing (it really had to say Happy Pawlidays on it, didn’t it), and got them on the cats, too. He both secretly cherished and not so secretly resented the picture Toriel got of them living amongst the other family pictures on their mantle for so many years.

Of his cats that I’ve really thought about, even despite several having Issues, none of them were as difficult as Doomfanger. To this day, Sans can’t figure out how a “””normal””” cat got into the underground, how it lived for so long, or why Papyrus was the only one the thing didn’t hate with a burning passion, but Papyrus never questioned it, and conversely still insists she would’ve been nicer if Sans didn’t call her “an old dishrag” (disregarding that it wasn’t nice to anyone else, regardless of what they called it).

Well, except Frisk. They weren’t Papyrus, but Fang only hissed at them a few times, and even let them pet them a couple times, which was practically leaping into their arms purring as far as Undyne and Sans were concerned.

This got so long!!! Aha, well, if you’d like any more headcanons, or if you have any specific questions or anything feel free to lmk!!

#thank u for asking ✨💗#cat kitty cat cat kitty cat cat kitty cat #clear sky sunset #anonymous #sun spots #underfell papyrus #uf edge

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mi-spark · 1 year

Text

ty for the tag @honrupi this was super fun :D EDIT: you might not even remember tagging me for this lol, my Goodness this is old... most of this is 2020 mimi talking.

Rules: Answer the ten questions, write your own ten questions, tag ten people.

i’ve also drawn a few small doodles to kinda help separate these large chunks of text 👀 enjoy

1. What’s the first fandom you can remember being a part of and would you consider yourself still a part of it? hmm y’know i was just thinkin about how involved i’ve actually been in fandoms, and i gotta say i’m pretty inactive in them (as in i don’t produce a lot of “content” for them) and tend to just enjoy the series by myself or with a friend. i consider my contributions to a fandom to be my art for it and i don’t think i post art frequently enough to really Be a member of a fandom. but i don’t mind that!

to actually answer the question though, my first was likely pokemon. specifically mystery dungeon because hero x partner videos on youtube (LMFAO) were what introduced me to deviantart, and then the ✨rest of the internet✨. i still love and draw pokemon, but i don’t think fandom culture is really for me LMAO so no i don’t– and never really have– considered myself part of any fandom.

2. What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? Alternatively, what would make you happiest to be complimented about? omg i immediately know the answer to this. somebody once said to me, “you’re like a sunflower: tall and pretty” like WHAT!! 😭😭💖💞💘 anyway that’s when sunflowers became my favorite flower 🌻

3. Do you want to be famous? absolutely not, i wouldn’t be able to tolerate such a constant and tremendous amount of attention. but i wouldn’t mind a small following! i kinda like the idea of inspiring a small group of people... anyway it’s kinda the same reason why cult followings > giant fandoms

4. What’s something you always wished you could be good at? oof, many things. i wish i was generally more crafty (cosplay, plush-making, etc.), i wish i knew my way around some sorta weapon tbh, like archery? and i wish i was handy with tools n such. ooh and storytelling, i have a lotta doubts abt my storytelling abilities. OH and i wish i had more common sense/street smarts T_T) i’m aware a lot of these develop with practice, but like.. omg my brain is always so full, setting aside time is difficult LOL. but hopefully i’ll get to try them someday :”)

5. If you were given complete freedom to plan your dream vacation, where would you go and what would you do there? it’s nothing really unique but i just really wanna be someplace tropical in a quiet and remote area. buy fruit from local street markets, hike up scenic mountain trails. Y’know. and just fuggin paddleboard and swim and relax on the sand all day long (the coarse kind of sand that feels like a sugar scrub). also my dog has to be there with me. and it’s a permanent vacation. i will live there.

6. How did you first end up on Tumblr? an artist i’ve looked up to since.. forever left deviantart for this hellsite (affectionate), so i followed. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ now they (mostly) left for twitter, and i followed them there too, but turned tf back. we already know how abysmal twitter is. edit: and it’s really only gotten worse huh

7. What was the last piece of media you saw/read/played that left a memorable impact on you? it was probably when i decided to watch an lp of the last of us a while back. i rarely cry on the spot from any sort of narrative, but that one left me in pieces from the beginning. that was an intense game throughout so i’d say it left quite an impact on my heart ;; aggressively ignores part two edit: the show’s good tho!! i wonder if it’ll fix part two. also this art is from 2020

8. What are you looking forward to in the foreseeable future? it’s not guaranteed to happen but i’d love to move into a place with a close friend or two, and we’re all doing our best and cooking for each other and playing video games together,,, i’d really like that. edit: since writing this i’ve actually begun some moving plans with a group of friends WAAAHH i’m so excited :D we’re going to test our roommate compatibility this summer!

9. What’s a random fun fact that you’ve learned recently? my friend kinda hinted to me a while back that a part of the ancient cistern dungeon from skyward sword is based off a super cool japanese short story?? it’s called “the spider’s thread,” if you’re unfamiliar with the story and you’ve played ss, just read a synopsis of the story and it’s very clear where the inspiration comes from. this was just such a cool reference

10. What’s a piece of advice that you’ve always found useful? hmmm i can’t think of any especially profound advice to share, but the phrase “lefty loosey righty tighty” helps me remember which way to screw screws, twist a hose faucet, etc.

imma tag @invader-777, @sneepity-snoop-snorpity-sneep, @smashwolfen, aaand any mutuals n followers who are interested ^_^)b

my questions are under the cut!

1. are you (or would you prefer to be) an early bird or a night owl, and what do you enjoy about being up at those hours?

2. tell me your favorite animal :D

3. you get a million bucks. hooray! what do you do with your cash?

4. what is your favorite piece of instrumental music? feel free to list multiple.

5. describe your dream home!

6. what introduced you to the internet?

7. share your current favorite thing! maybe an album you have on repeat? or a game you’ve been playing lots lately?

8. do you have a collection? if so, of what?

9. what’s an aesthetic/theme/style you enjoy?

10. how do you feel about reading books?

#long post #tagged #my drafts are out of control #this was at the very bottom #that's why i'm only posting it now DJHFDKNFG #they're getting better though! i started out with like 1300+ drafts YIKES #and now as of queueing this post there's about 350 ovo)b

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sylvctica · 2 years

Text

aid’s lil mini criticism of ToF that’s probably a lil disjointed cause I suck at explaining my thoughts sometimes ( at least from the viewpoint of someone who is a game designer and took a bachelors for it )

obvs this is all subjective, what i feel abt a mechanic or element is not the same as anothers, and this isn’t to disincentivize ppl from playing it; if u like the game, that’s the important part!!! 2 hours is not enough for me to get extremely solid in my final thoughts, but the fact that i still feel unsure how to feel, even after 2 hours is a little ... meh in itself

most games usually hook you in the first 20-30 min, but ToF feels like one long-drawn-out tutorial where even after 2h i still feel like i’m waiting to be introduced to stuff as i go along the story as i’ve been playing, and yet i’m equally being shoved too many mechanics in my face

obvs, i’ll be making comparisons to genshin bc they themselves dubbed themselves the ‘genshin killers’ ( i can’t find the immediate source, but it’s been brought up so many times + they even copied 5-star genshin reviews w/bots on their app lmao.... ) so it is an invitation for drawing comparisons

intro didn’t wow me. didn’t leave me with the same wide-eyed wonder i had when i booted up genshin cause you just get shoved into some ‘omg you’re being chased by a thing get away xD lol random look at all these things going on u don’t know about’ with no real sense of actual urgency to get away ( and a weird QTE section that felt very out of place ) ... like it’s pretty, but it’s not a ‘wow’ chief ( also fuck amnesia as a trope LMAO )

so initial impressions were subpar, combat feels fine, it feels fluid enough to fight on land, air, and to transition between weapons which i think is quite a neat mechanic in place of having different characters, although it’s not a new one, it’s pretty tried and liked. it feels a little clunky in some places ( i was laughing when i tried to dive attack and the character just kept floating forward and slowly falling ) but otherwise it’s serviceable enough

( things are dying way too quick with an SSR weapon though ... there’s no challenge and i don’t even feel like a beginner player who is given small things to help me adjust and learn the combat unlike in genshin which did feel like at least a gradual rise in challenge and power )

they at least make you actually use all the new combat mechanics you’re introduced to ( including their jetpack and ... a crapload of other ‘extra’ accessories later on ). problem is, that it feels like the combat and navigation mechanics are ... bloated and way too condensed yet drawn out at the same time? nothing rlly stuck with me

things like weapon upgrades are streamlined since the game just does it for you ( aka oh hey we just attached the materials you need to upgrade so don’t think about it ) which then forms a disconnect between you and the mechanic ( and even where said mechanic is located in the UI ) ... sure, weapon upgrades are automated through the ores in genshin, but in the beginning you don’t have those and your choice of how you feed weapons is a lot more limited until you become more accustomed to the game. here it’s so ‘wham bam thank u mam’ that it doesn’t even feel fulfilling or do much outside of press button do thing

story-wise you aren’t even given enough chances to really become familiar with the combat system because 80% of the story so far has been ‘go here. talk to this person here. come back. go here. talk to this person here’ and maybe you beat up a single boss or two in some places. you’d have to straight up deviate from the story to start beating stuff, and truth be told, i don’t have any incentive or desire to do so, unlike in genshin where i began early on to deviate and look around because i was inspired to dig my nose around the world

... i’ll be honest, i think the story is boring and bland too. it feels very hamfisted in introducing you to characters and trying to make you care for them. no, PW i’m not gonna care that your token uwu sister girl character is dying or something, i barely have known her for 2 hours and outside of her showing me around the camp and making me go on 50 errands to get her stuff ( like a damn filter that’s 5 feet away from me ), she’s done nothing for me. her brother was hot, but he also feels flatter than a piece of paper and i’d have cared more if he actually did shoot his sister. otherwise i have no idea what our place in the world is outside of amnesiac dude who is adopted by a camp while shit happens around him w/o any real explanation

the look of the world is ... fine, it’s ... generic post-apocalypse camp ... i dunno why they opted for the look they did, browns and greens although very nice, start to blend together when your world is just made of that and just canyon mountain things. facial animations are pretty good for characters, even if the lip-sync is weird ( but genshin isn’t free of that either with non-CN dubs so it’s a pass ) but actual body/motion animations feel weird and are very ... stiff

designs are ... bland too IMO, i’m not very inspired by them and i find the mechanic a little odd to be able to ‘wear’ a look ... why give us the option to customize then if we can just dress up like a cat-girl who acts bitchy regardless if we opted for male or female avatars? the customizer is nice, but perfect world has always made pretty decent customizers. though think about it, if people are more complimenting just the customizer and nothing else of the game ... what does that say? sure, you can argue it only came out yesterday, but ... food for thought, i suppose

you can also clearly tell it was made as a mobile game first considering they still have ‘tap to enter’ written on their damn login page LMAO

i’ll probably keep playing for a few more days to really gather my thoughts, but overall the taste i’m getting is ‘generic mobile anime scifi game with mechanic bloat and no real story’. if you enjoy more mindless games that are oogly button mash flashy, it works, but this is no genshin killer

i also have gripes with the company itself, but you can read this twitter thread for that shitshow with their CN beta, and i’m already familiar with perfect world and bloating an old MMO of mine with unneeded features and gross P2W so i already went in w/some kinda bias knowing what the company is like

aside from that thanks for reading my ... rant more than anything LMAOOOO like it’s an okay looking game but as said, it’s not a genshin killer and just honestly made me appreciate the looks, story, and gameplay a little more ( even if I still have my own gripes with it, but no game is perfect )

#[ ok its not that mini ]#[ it's more of a thought dump but ]#OOC // AID TALKS.

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seakicker · 2 years

Note

If it’s not already, can you keep me anonymous?

Ms. Juju can I ask a really random question..how are you brave enough to ask for a commission of you and your favorite? I had only gotten one commission of something similar once and I loved it! I still do! I really adore the art style of the artist I got it from but when I look at it I feel awful in a way 😭? This happened a long time ago (like in 2018ish?) but I think about it a lot. The artist I got it from had/has? (Idr I unfollowed it) a spam account and they were talking about their commission orders once and they mentioned that someone requested to be drawn with a character. They were basically said that commissioner wouldn’t be their type or wouldn’t find them attractive or something. At first I didn’t think it was about me, but I was still like ??? Cause that’s so rude to say but said artist does this thing where after they’re done with their commissions they kinda up load them all and after seeing the set of commissions they did, I could 100% confirm that they were talking about me lol. I didn’t say anything about it, but after that I’ve been so scared to commission another artist, especially relating me with another character. I felt bad for even bothering them to commission me to begin with! I still like the art piece but when I see it I think of that comment, and it really stuck with me and even made me view the character differently. I couldn’t enjoy x readers in general after that because I felt so guilty about it. Like I know that’s so dumb because it’s just characters and with reader inserts you don’t have to necessarily insert yourself into them but that’s usually the point yk? I ended up making a whole different persona that looks absolutely nothing like me over a dumb comment but that really made me feel awful and I guess in a way it still does, since I’ve always had low self esteem to begin with and used reader inserts to feel better about myself.

I’m so sorry for making this so long but TLDR the first ever commission I ever got from an artist I really liked basically called me ugly on their spam / vent account and me being a big ass baby can’t get over it fully to go back to enjoying one of my favorite pass time hobbies which is reading reader inserts

so i’ve been thinking about this ask a lot since i first got it a couple of hours ago, and firstly i just wanted to say that i’m very sorry to hear something like this happened to you and that it has stuck with you for so long; i have faith that you’ll be able to recover some day and learn to become happier and more comfortable with yourself because i believe you’re strong enough to do so. putting the rest under a cut for length bc i typed tons omg

i’m sorry someone you trusted to handle your commission and admired as an artist would say something so unprofessional, rude, and unnecessary to you like that. you were a customer seeking out a business transaction and that shouldn’t invite them to comment on you as a person when (i’m assuming) they knew literally nothing about you other than what you chose to share w them for the sake of the commission. it’s ridiculous of them to make things personal instead of just being kind and thanking you for the support, drawing what you paid for, and carrying on w their lives and clearly they’re an insecure person if they can’t make a drawing of someone else without commenting on their appearance in the process. very weird of them and i don’t think that their insecurity and childishness is your fault whatsoever, nor should you feel like their words are true because they’re just not. there’s nothing you could have said or done to warrant them bashing your appearance and targeting something as personal as your attachment to your favorite character since ofc we all use favorite characters as a form of coping here.

i also had a persona i used for self-inserts that looked literally nothing like me (she was much thinner and much shorter lol) and i had begun to realize that… it just wasn’t fun to live through her because it wasn’t me and i felt like i was playing some character rather than being myself. of course, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with character x oc content, but she wasn’t an oc, just a Conventionally Attractive version of myself and so i just want you to know you don’t have to be conventionally attractive to be valuable and beautiful and that your fave—and everyone else including your irl friends and such— loves you just as you are and i do too. i’ve always used writing reader insert content as a form of coping and connecting w myself and becoming more confident in myself, and i would love to see you be able to use reader insert content to do the same again someday. i’m sorry to hear that that experience ruined such content for you though i can certainly see why— but just know that person’s inability to get over themselves and keep their unnecessary opinions to themselves is not a reflection of your character, it is a reflection of theirs. one thing that always helped me overcome similar fears of “oh my fave wouldn’t like me” i used to have as a teenager was actively seeking out content with my personality/body type in mind. things like “chubby reader” or “shy reader” etc, when people characterize reader a certain way, so maybe you could try that as well if you’d think it help you too. thank you for sharing your experience with me and know that i’m here for you, and i think a selfish part of me hopes that you can maybe find safety in me and my work too because that’s always what i’ve wanted for everyone who reads my stuff. take care of yourself and know that we here all love you and your faves love you lots 🙏🙏🙏

#i hope this wasn’t too preachy or anything i just really empathize w you #and i’m sorry smth like this happened #chats #tw insecurity

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scottspack · 2 years

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what are your thoughts on yet to come? (if you’d like to share ofc) i’m curious to see what newer fans think of it!! i’ve Thoroughly enjoyed watching your bts journey btw

OMG????? Someone wants to hear my bts thots??? LIL OL ME????

GLADLY‼️

I liked yet to come! I will fully and readily admit to not being drawn to slower or even mid-tempo songs as easily as I am to upbeat songs, so something like yet to come is never going to initially hit me as hard as something like run bts (which, side note, is bts’s newest addition to the SONGS TO CRASH YOUR CAR TO playlist that lives in my head and I should really make happen in reality). BUT I thought it was still a nice song, if a little boring. THAT BEING SAID I understand that I am not actually the target demographic for this song, it’s first and foremost a love letter to the long term fans which is great and I love it and applaud it, so I was never going to connect to it as deeply as someone who has been balls deep in bts for 9 years! I caught like maybe 60% of the references which for me is actually pretty good since I still haven’t actually listened to every single album or watched every single music video. Another thing that makes me very much not the target demo is that I never look up the lyrics to anything, regardless of artist or genre, and that extends to bts. Which is another reason that I connect to upbeat songs more easily, since I’m focused primarily on the sound of a song and not it’s lyrical content. I’m aware that this is a personal flaw and I’m working on it! Like I KNOW the lyrics are nice, I’ve seen them on captions of gifsets, and I know they would make me feel things, but there is a little demon inside of my head that’s like nah dude who cares about the lyrics just vibe. And I am powerless to resist that temptation!

IN SUMMARY TLDR this being a slower song + obviously made for dedicated fans who have consumed all of bts’s content + I never look up lyrics = I thought it was nice :) but I’m not going to be the one to get them to the fan streaming goal for it

RUN BTS ON THE OTHER HAND HAS BEEN ON REPEAT FOR 72 HOURS!!!!!! YOU SAY! YOU HOT! ONLY! YOU NOT!!!!!!!!!!!

#whoever sent this pretty please come off anon I’m BEGGING you #i have some super secret classified information I want to share with you #but also thank you for asking me about bts and letting me crazy on main #it’s a pleasure as always #i cant believe it’s been over a year since i was making kpop enemies on tumblr dot com #by listening to one (1) bts album and then immediately kicking down the proverbial tumblr door to ask which one of them are gay #turns out it’s all of them #if ive learned one thing in my year as an army #it’s that :)#bts #kpop #anon

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1d1195 · 24 days

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That’s so real, loving them but not liking them lol I LITERALLY JUST SAID THAT today to my mom today about one of my cousins who I have found memories growing up but I don’t really want to have a relationship with tbh and it goes for the majority of them bc some of them ARE INSANE!! Especially from my mom’s side HAHA why did I think you had a brother?! I feel like you would be such a good big sister for a brother tbh and i obviously have no doubt your amazing for your sister! TELL ME WHY I ALSO THINK MY BROTHER IS MORE OUTGOING THAN ME!! We really are so similar it’s crazy but I love that for us! And you’re so kind Sam😭 my brother is definitely more social and can vibe with people easier and if he feels comfortable with people I would consider him to be more extroverted than I am at least! He’s kinda funny but somethings he says is kinda out of pocket but idk I blame it on him being a teen lol he’s also so musically gifted and definitely more talented than me HAHA BUT overall I think he’s a good kid, of course he has his moments and traits where I simply cannot understand lol

I feel like doing an Ancestry test would give you the answers you may want! I’ve personally never done any but I gifted my dad a 23 and me! The results were kinda wild considering I thought he would have more European blood bc colonization lol but he’s actually like 80% indigenous?!? Which I thought was SO cool!

BESTIE YOU SHOUDL DO IT!! I WOULD READ IF YOU EVER WANT OTHERS TO READ IT!! I genuinely think you’re like cool and I don’t think you give yourself enough credit for that! Also were you a flower crown girly when they were really popular?! Bc I definitely was and I was also a galaxy legging girl which was solely driven for my love for space lol also I love a good deal, so TJMaxx is fave to browse! bet you looked so pretty with it on!!

I love it too, and seeing it in Spanish is just so heartbreakingly beautiful! Idk it may be a controversial opinion or not but i definitely do think if you ever decide into venturing participating in it , you totally could. As long as you do it in a way where you genuinely want to learn the culture and respect it, there’s no harm in it. Respect is probably the most important thing!

Saw my TA today and god I am so down bad😔

Omg it’s crazy we have the same book?! I was so close to picking a fantasy one and idk I felt drawn to it!

I reread the original one shot today and it still hits! I think it was very clear that he was so in love with her by his actions and just the way he talks with her!

Oh bestie I have never been in love so we are in the same boat lol I’m pretty sure it has to due with my own self sabotage tendencies, self esteem, and vulnerability issues lol and you’re not weird at all for feeling like that!

We all deserve the love that we desire and while I think people advocate that what the media or literature present is a “fantasy”, I don’t think it’s un achievable! It just looks different for everyone because we all have different definitions and examples of what love is and can be. So many factors go into it, but i remember reading something where the author explained that we all have multiple people in which can love us romantically and platonically yet they all have different “levels” of love. And since there’s so many people/souls And paths that you can take, some achieve platonic love that romantic and vice versa. But all that love was meant for you to experience through multiple lives. IDK if any of that made sense but it’s probably my delusional self trying to find some way of viewing love lol and I think that writting that about the MC was so well done, it felt very therapeutic for the character but I’m glad that it works for you too💗

And you know I’ll be here for you! I love you and love chatting with you! Hope that you have the loveliest weekend!-💜

I think I would have THRIVED with a brother. But my sister is pretty cool. She's very artistic (double it and give it to the next one again) and she helps me with my clothes and makeup almost every time I need it. I'm sure your brother looks up to you and teens are DUMB (I mean that kindly given I spend most of my time with teens) so I'm sure his moments will get better with time 💕 You sound like you really adore him so he'll be fine :)

WOW that's so cool that your dad got results that were different than you expected! You should look into the results more (if you haven't already) it sounds cool! It would probs be really bad but I think i want a dramatic story about my extended family... 👀 probs antagonistic of me but as you can see I love them but don't like them HAHAHAHA I have some suspicions about my dad's siblings and I would LOVE to put some puzzle pieces into place 🕵️‍♀️

I would live in TJMaxx if I could 😂 I was neither a flower crown nor galaxy pants. I was too self-conscious to do either (still am) but I def would have been a flower crown girly FOR SURE.

Part of the problem is I am very emotional and people around me just ARE NOT. I enjoy watching all the TikTok posts about how love is this big romantic thing for a lot of people or maybe just in general and I feel really close to those kinds of posts. Let me see if I can find one... (it's probs going to make it into a story I'll write one day).

I appreciate the love I get but I think I often hold back how much I love people because I'd be viewed as weird. I like to believe I love the way that little picture shows. I feel like I really SEE people and I don't think I've ever been seen (hence the fanfic writing). I love my family, my friends, and my students so much. It's a little exhausting sometimes hahaha You made perfect sense 💕 I don't think you're delusional at all! You're still very young and you've got a great head on your shoulders and heart in your chest. You want to be in love with the right person and there's nothing wrong with that. Your "self-sabotaging" is probs saving you from a heartache that you don't know about. Just make sure that if you think it can go somewhere you try--even if it's like a date or two. I bet you have a good gut instinct and you'll know immediately 💕

HAVE A WONDERFUL RELAXING WEEKEND! Hope you do something fun or get to read your new book! 😊

xoxo

#💜

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