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hunnylagoon · 4 months

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Take Me to War

PT1 Friendly Fire

Streamer! Ellie Williams x reader

A writer, I think is someone who pays attention to the world. We are observers, it is in our nature to be off-putting and turn shallow things deep.

Premise: Your neighbour is becoming increasingly loud and you decide to do something about it.

PT 2 Here!

Two things I hate the most?

My neighbour and New York City.

They shared something in common, they never rest. I liked my quiet life in my small town until I was convinced that all of the greatest writers lived in the city, what a joke. I sold my virtue to move to New York and now my body burned with the shame of not belonging.

I worked as a journalist and in advertisement but it didn't fill the gaping mass that consumed me, I felt like a sellout so I quit to do freelance, and now I feel like even more of a sellout. Freelance is making me think that I hate ghostwriting more than I hate my neighbour and New York City.

It's like you do all of the work and get zero reward but I'm desperate to pay the bills and all that stuff I've been telling myself all my life 'I may never be a rich man but the rich man will never have me' well, the rich man most certainly had me. I was paid an almost criminal amount of money to pour my soul into art just for it to get stamped beneath a new name and make a gross income six times the size of what I sold it for.

I look for happiness everywhere but I do not find it. I search for it in things everyone seems to pry joy from; I go clubbing, walk in Central Park, and date around, but happiness doesn't seem to exist there for me.

I plead for it in my morning cups of tea with a spoonful of honey, the sunshine glittering in a puddle after a rainstorm, for a brief moment, it flickers in the light of my cinnamon-scented candle. The truth is I am almost comforted by my sadness and it is in my lowest moments that my creations are the most beautiful, it is like I am dead and I despise those who aren't for I enjoy the company of my silence more than anyone I have ever met.

It was my dream for my name to be above 'New York Times Best Selling Author' but instead, it is just my work beneath it and maybe that's why I'm so bitter.

Right now as I am trying to salvage the bits and pieces I was given by a washed-up pop star for her memoir my neighbour is screaming and laughing incoherently in their apartment, it makes me miss living in an actual house.

The noise usually started up when I would finish up my writing and get ready for bed, then it would go all the way through the night. The dumb fucker probably threw parties every single night; my roommate never faced an issue with this as she worked at a club and was usually working when the deafening noises would begin.

I on the other hand who lived in that apartment and worked from that apartment was always cursed to listen to the random thumps and spats of laughter that sounded all through the night. At least once a night when I'm sound asleep, I hear a bang against the wall and each time without fail, I'm brought awake with my heart thumping.

Trust me, I have retaliated.

On occasion when I'm sleep-deprived and at my absolute limit I'll bang on the walls, that only stops the noise for a minute. I've even complained to my landlord and that one week was heaven until it eased back to the clamour that I've almost grown used to.

Almost.

I still hate it.

I'm broken from my thoughts when my phone rings, it vibrates till it's almost at the edge of my desk and I feel for it; don't worry buddy, I wanna jump too. I read the caller ID and I almost wanted to gag, it was a woman from the publishing company who reached out to me and asked me to write Nicole Elliot's novel. Despite wanting to throw my phone against the wall to stop Noemi's constant checkups and get back at my neighbour while I'm at it, I answer the phone "Hey, Noemi!" I glance out the window where the winter sun has long set, leaving nothing but billboards, street lamps and neon signs to light up the New York night. Under the unforgiving lights I can barely make out the gentle snowfall.

"Hey," She draws it out and I can hear in her voice that she is smiling "I know it's a little late, just checking in, how is the draft coming along?" A loud thump sounds against my wall along with intolerant cackling "What's that?"

"Just some street noise," I dismiss "Anyways, the draft is coming along great, I'm a couple thousand words away from finishing it. I will of course send it to you and I would really love it if you could reach out to Nicole and ask for her opinion on it before I carry on with the final copy," I give a middle finger to my wall, even if my neighbour can't see me, it makes me feel a little bit more formidable "I did follow her outline, which was difficult but I think I salvaged it pretty well."

This time there is a yelp from my neighbour and what sounds like someone slamming their hands down onto a table, Noemi thankfully ignores it "You haven't been in touch with Nicole?"

My eyebrows furrow "She hasn't responded to any of my emails and she's been turning down all of our scheduled Zoom calls, so no, I have not been in touch with her."

"Weird," Noemi comments and there is a brief break of silence between us "She's been M.I.A on our end too," I could hear her scribble something down. "So can you get the draft to me by Friday?"

Two days? If I lock myself inside and don't see the sun then I totally can "Absolutely!" I do work better under a deadline.

"Great," She sounds almost relieved "We will hunt down Nicole, it would be nice to get her greenlight with this but whether or not she approves it, she has already signed off and it will be going to print."

"Okay," I fight the urge to respond with 'sick' or 'aight' because I'm an adult now and someone who is masquerading as a professional.

"Sorry, what was that you mentioned about an outline?" Noemi asks, she sounds more confused with each word "I wasn't aware Nicole made any-

She is swiftly cut off by a crash from the other side of my wall, when I say crash I mean it. It sounded like someone just bodied their car into drywall. My eyes went wide as I saw a crack splitting up my once pristine white wall. I hold my phone against my collarbone as I get up and pound my fist against the wall, giving it a kick for extra measure.

"Is everything alright?"

"Certainly," The nice thing about phone calls is that the person on the other end can't see your awkward habits or subtle outbursts (Or neighbours breaking through your shared wall). After I hit the wall, everything went silent for just a second before laughter sounded heavily from multiple people. "Noemi, thank you for sourcing me out to write this, I am really grateful for this opportunity I will send you that draft on Friday." I try to wrap up the call but she speaks up.

"Well, I've read your work and I was very impressed, I trust you will do well with this. Sorry to have called you so late-

"Thanks, have a nice night now!" I'm talking faster than I can even think, the only thing in my head is the fact that my neighbour is slowly deteriorating my wall.

"Wait-

Before Noemi can finish her sentence, I've hung up the phone. I'm leaning back in my cushy office chair, hands gripping my hair as I stare down the newly formed crack in the wall. I don't entirely like to be confrontational, even in school I hated drama, but I was beginning to think it was necessary.

I saved the progress I had made on the memoir and pushed myself up from my desk. I was clad in nothing more than a t-shirt and some plaid pants, it was my writing attire and in the moment I didn't care much to make a good first impression. It was fucking freezing the second I got up from my desk.

The moulding on my bedroom window was broken which allowed the frigid New York air to slip into my room and make me shiver with each breath. At my desk, I would usually have a throw blanket to shroud my freezing body but the moment I discarded it, I felt regret. I almost wanted to wrap myself in it to confront my neighbour but the pyjamas alone didn't help me look tough.

I did however shove my feet into some cow slippers and march right up to their apartment.

Apartment 2D stood in front of me, the pastel blue door making me angrier with every second that I looked at it. I rapped my knuckles on the wood and crossed my arms to stop me from shuddering.

My nerves built up as I slowly heard a door within the apartment shut followed by footsteps leading to the door. I would just ask them politely to quiet down and calmly work on a way to fix the shared wall that they are slowly ruining.

The door opens and staring me down is a woman. I had expected it to be a man to be truthful. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, the colour teetered on the verge of auburn and brown. The woman is clad in a black tank top and grey sweatpants, it's almost parallel to my outfit.

"You need to be quiet," I say the first words that come to mind "And stop assaulting my fucking wall."

She sucks a sharp breath through her teeth "Are you apartment 3D?" She asks to which I nod "I knew you would be stopping by soon." She has this sheepish and almost sardonic smile on her face and despite the amusement she's portraying I can see sadness brewing in her green eyes like a storm.

"I don't know what you're doing in there where you are up all night, I don't even have a clue how you sleep and work with all this time to spare to be a nuisance." I say and then swiftly feel the urge to backtrack "I'm sorry, that was a little rude, but mate, I can't sleep or work when you're being loud doing whatever you do."

"Fuck," She mutters looking back into her apartment and then at me "I'm sorry, I'll keep it down."

"What about the wall?"

Her eyes look me up and down, settling on my cow slippers "I'll find someone to fix the wall."

I press my lips tight together, looking dead into her eyes, scraping my brain for something else to say. It was almost like I wanted to fight. I had expected this to be a full-out conversation that ended in yelling but god she was pretty and she was telling me just what I wanted. "Okay."

"Okay?"

I regard her once more with what I assume is a cold glare before ushering back into my apartment and slamming the door behind me, the whole time, my neighbour watches me from her doorway.

That was the first night of uninterrupted sleep I'd had in a month.

I woke up earlier than I would've liked when my roommate Margot came home from work at 4:56 on the dot. She made sure to slam every single door and cupboard before throwing herself onto her bed in all of her makeup and musty clothes that had to endure whatever happens at a nightclub between the hours of 8 pm and 4 am, which I can't imagine is very clean.

Still, even though I was a little ahead of schedule I fell into my morning routine. It started with ignoring my phone, this was followed by a mug of Bengal spice tea with a teaspoon of honey and a splash of cream.

Sometimes I would curl up on the couch, though it snowed last night and I loved fresh snow. Freshly fallen snow absorbed sound, it was like soundproofing for the earth. There wasn't anything like the rare peace you could find in New York. I figured I would have my morning tea on the fire escape.

My peaceful image was destroyed the second I pried my window open and crawled through I was hit with the intense smell of pot. "Shit," I mutter, instinctively wafting the scent away from my nose.

"Sorry, man," I see my neighbour leaning against the railing of the fire escape, nursing a joint. It hadn't crossed my mind that I shared a level of the fire escape with her, I had never seen her out here but now the smell of weed that drifted through the damaged moulding on my window made sense, I had always assumed it to be Margot.

"Joint for breakfast?" I ask, half-joking. A dusting of powdery snow adorns each step and railing, creating a delicate layer of white that contrasts with the industrial gray of the metal though it looks like my neighbour has pushed all of the snow off the platform.

"Nah, for dinner I guess, it helps me sleep," She's in the same outfit from last night, except her hair is now loose around her face and she threw a hoodie over her tanktop.

I furrow my eyebrows "You've been up all night?" The slight tension from the previous night has dissolved completely.

"Yeah," She says it like it was a stupid question and it partially was but I hadn't stayed up that late since New Year only because I was the designated driver and was in charge of getting everyone home safe. "I don't sleep much, that's probably why I keep you up all night."

I mean, I'd let her keep me up in other ways "Honestly, I've gotten used to it, it's almost like white noise." I try to sympathize even if it isn’t necessarily true.

"Next time I'm loud, you have every right to bang on my door and chew me out." She takes a drag from her joint and I watch as the smoke escapes her lips, her cheeks tinted pink from the cold.

"Good to know," I glance behind her at the open window and all I see are purple LED lights cutting through the darkness of her apartment. "Now I know that we share a fire escape I'll just crawl through your window and yell at you that way," I joke, taking a sip from my snoopy mug.

This makes her laugh in the slightest, she crushes what remains of her joint on the cold railing and tosses the bud into the pot of a dead plant that's covered in snow and has lived on this fire escape long before I moved in; one time I just about removed it but I felt bad, it's like I was evicting it from its rightful home "Feel free."

"Am I allowed to ask why you're up all night breaking the sound barriers?" I ask, pulling my fuzzy robe tighter around my body to fight the bitter air. "Are you the leader of a cult? Would it be better for the world in the long run if I push you right now?"

The corners of her lips curl up into a smile once again "You've figured me out, just know I've got some big plans with Koolaid," She plays into my teasing.

"It was flavour-aid, actually." I don't know why I said that.

"What the fuck is flavour-aid?"

"Koolaid basically," Silence stretches between us "So what do you actually do all night?"

"It's a bit complicated," She says, of course, it was complicated. "I work from home," She couldn't do something normal, she probably did voice acting or ran a podcast or some weird shit like that.

"Sick," Don't worry, I made myself cringe when I said that too "I work from home too."

"Yeah, you said something about work last night, are you in marketing?"

I shake my head "I'm a writer," every time I tell someone that, I feel a twinge of embarrassment. I know it wasn't a noble career like my parents had hounded me over, but it felt noble to me. I had two absent parents and was raised by a pack of wolves, I would devour as much food as fast as I could because I didn't know when I would be eating next. I was far too emotional to be around all of the narcissists who preferred their own faces to my company, the only friend I had was the written word.

Since then I have been serving my soul up to strangers through word documents.

The thought makes me homesick for the arms that did not hold me and I truly expect my neighbour to make a mockery of me, the way others have. The way they've told me 'It's a tough industry but hang in there!' and pat me on the back like I'm a hopeful child clinging to her mother's skirts.

"That's really cool," She smiles while she gazes out to the skyline, I can see her perfect side profile and ski-slope nose "I wanted to be a writer, I thought myself to be a poet, and then I thought myself to be a scientist and wanted to be an astronaut. Now, I'm here."

"Where's here exactly?"

"Working things out, figure it out as I go," She shrugs like she is unsure of her answer.

I think it's beautiful how everything around me has been touched by human hands and carries so much history. For a quick moment, my mind wonders to those who built this building, the calloused hands that crafted the iron railing and now my neighbour who was leaning against it. "What's the end goal with this whole freefall thing?"

"To make it out alive."

"And your name?"

"It's Ellie."

That night Ellie stuck to being quiet as she promised. The next night was a different story. I was so close to finishing the draft of Nicole Elliot's memoir and was praying that the deadline would pass with no issue.

However, the noise began again. I was coming around to like Ellie and I didn't want to go yell at her again so I shoved my headphones in and turned up my playlist as loud as I could. There is no song I can blast in my headphones to drown it out.

She did say that the next time I was loud I could come and chew her out, I wouldn't do that; I would just knock on her door and quickly tell her that she was being too loud, and then we would both carry on with our respective work.

I stopped in front of the smooth door and raised my hand to knock. Ellie slips the door open just a crack, when she sees that it's me she opens the door. "Hey, Ellie."

"Hello," She smiles "To what do I owe the pleasure?" She had a very nice smile.

We both know the circumstances of my visit but I spell it out anyway "Dude, you're way too loud, it's disruptive and I'm working under a deadline."

"I know, I'm sorry." She looks genuinely apologetic.

"I don't know any office job that needs you to scream for hours on end," Alright, that blows what could've been a simple visit where she apologizes and I leave, I always had to add on.

"Right, sorry," She carries herself with so much confidence that it is like she is wearing armour made of gold though she has these subtle awkward tendencies of someone who has never been loved and was forced to improvise. "It's hard to explain,"

"Yeah, you've said-

"Do you wanna come and see?"

I'm taken a little aback and for a minute I think this is all a ploy for Ellie to lock me in her her apartment and kill me because she is sick of her neighbour banging on her door "What?"

"Well, you've asked a couple of times and if you have a minute I can show you."

I pause, mauling over her proposal. I think of my laptop on my spruce desk, open to the final pages of the memoir and I make up my mind "Alright, just not too long."

"If you say so," Ellie opens the door wider for me to move past her and then shuts it behind us.

Ellie's apartment is what I had expected from her even though it is surprisingly nice. She has a large L-shaped sofa in the living room adorned with throw blankets and pillows and a huge flatscreen with a coffee table in front of it. The layout is exactly like mine but inverted, her open kitchen has some odd knick-knacks that looked like they belonged on an Amazon must-haves list.

I don't go into her bathroom and the door leading to one of the rooms (What is equivalent to Margot's bedroom) is shut. The apartment itself is pretty sparse aside from little bits and pieces as she only moved in a month prior.

On the left side, I see that purple LED spilling out of what I assume to be her bedroom.

She walks in ahead of me and the second I follow in after her there is one question I have to ask "Ellie, are you a porn-star?" There are entirely too many computers in here. Her desk is set up with one of those fancy triple-screen PCs and she has a laptop placed seemingly randomly on a white loveseat that's pressed against the right wall.

There is one of those galaxy lamps that projects that trippy shit onto your walls and ceiling. The screen of her PC is facing our shared wall and I can see a huge hole where I assume that a loud crash from the other night occurred. Plastered all over the walls are posters from video games and movies, many of which I hadn't seen.

"What?" She sounds nearly offended "No," she grabs a folding chair from the corner of the room and unfolds it beside her black florid office chair. She sits on the folding chair and motions for me to sit in the office chair. "Come, sit."

I hesitantly sit in the chair "Are you going to attack me now?" I ask, getting defensive for no particular reason other than it was in my nature "Because I've read The Outsiders and I'm pretty sure I can fight."

She chuckles "I'm not gonna fight you."

"Because I'd win?"

She furrows her eyebrows but has this look of amusement on her face "Yeah, definitely."

"So what is this?" I motion around at all of her equipment.

Ellie puts one earbud in then hand me the other "Chat," She says, looking dead at the camera clipped onto her PC "This is my neighbour who came to yell at me for being annoying, she has every right."

"Who are you talking to?"

"I'm streaming," She said, clicking something on the screen so it changed, instead showing Ellie and I in front of the camera, I looked absolutely lost next to a rolling chat bar full of jokes that I didn't understand and people saying hello to me.

"So I was right," I turn my attention to Ellie "You are an internet person."

"Yeah, I'm an internet person but you weren't right, I don't do porn."

"Not yet," I shrug "Times are desperate," To this, the chats come in even faster than before. "So do you just sit here all night and scream at people?"

"I play video games and do challenges, sometimes I do just sit here and scream at them."

"That makes so much sense," I say "If there's any job that needs you to be obnoxiously loud and annoying, it's a youtube personality."

"Okay, well-

"So you're like Logan Paul?"

Her eyes go wide "No-

"What explains why your eyes are so bloodshot."

"You are a writer," She says it like it's a fact I wasn't aware of "You are in no place to judge, you probably spend as much time in front of a screen as me."

I nod "I hate to say you're right," My attention shifts to the hole behind me "Can you explain how playing video games put a hole through the wall?"

Ellie looks almost embarrassed, she doesn't say anything in response, instead, she just clicks something to screen share with us in a little box in the corner and then goes into YouTube. She types in 'Ellie Williams falls through wall' My eyebrows furrow as I read it, and she clicks the first video that pops up.

The video starts off strong; Ellie is cackling at something that her friend off-camera is saying, her friend then makes a comment that makes her laugh even harder and she throws herself back in her chair. This act breaks it, you can hear the chair snap beneath the pressure and Ellie just lets it happen as the chair crashes against the wall. Her eyes go wide when she realizes she's just put a massive hole into the wall and seconds later you can hear me on the other side banging my hands on the wall. Her eyes go wide and she stares at her friend off-camera, all of the laughter stops abruptly before her friend can't hold it in anymore and erupts in chortles, and the video cuts off.

My hand flies over my mouth to fight back the laughter I so badly want to let out. Ellie and I sit wordlessly, the only sound being donations on the screen and my giggles slipping through. Eventually, I manage to compose myself and look to Ellie, I don't have much to say except for "Oh my god."

A/N: Streamer! Ellie won the poll so here we are. As I was drafting out the other chapters for When I Was Your Girl, I decided that it is most likely to be discontinued unless I do a rewrite which will not be in the near future. I’m not rocking with the plot and there was a lot of mixed feedback, sorry if you were invested I guess, but you have this series to be invested in now!

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megalony · 5 months

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Hypo State

This is an Evan Buckley imagine, requested by a lovely anon, (and reader is Bobby's daughter in this imagine) I hope you will all like it. Feedback is always amazing.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem@sj-thefanthefan@hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@noonenuts@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @topguncultleader @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream

911 Masterlist

Summary: While Evan is at work, he gets an alert that (Y/n)'s blood sugar is starting to drop. Then he finds out his daughter has had to call 911.

Enjoy.

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A smile worked its way onto Evan's face and he kept his eyes closed to fight out the morning sun breaking through the curtains. He shuffled closer and buried his lips against the top of (Y/n)'s head in her hair and his fingers ran up and down her back like cold feathers tickling over her skin.

He could feel (Y/n)'s lips pressing into his chest, silently letting him know that she was awake too. His body clock had woken him a little while before his alarm and (Y/n) always woke up whenever she felt Evan awake beside her. She didn't sleep well without him which was one of the reasons why he didn't like doing many night shifts.

Her fingertips tickled along his back but it was her lips that caught Evan's attention and livened him up. Wet, hollow kisses pressed up his sternum in a slow trail as she tilted her head back until her chin pressed into his chest and she could shimmy up the bed a little. They usually woke up with (Y/n) halfway down the bed and Evan with his head bashing the headboard. He was over six foot so moving an inch down the bed caused his feet to dangle out the bed; something he hated.

The feel of (Y/n)'s lips pressing to his neck made him take in a deep breath but when she grazed her teeth along his skin, he growled into her hair.

This was a better morning wake up than he had a few days ago. He wondered why he dreamt he had been drowning until he realised he had been laid on his back with (Y/n) sprawled out on his chest, making it hard to breathe.

Evan liked mornings like these the best when they woke up before the alarm went off and had time together. He used to be a morning person before he got married. Having (Y/n) in the bed changed his ideals and made it hard to get up now.

And when there was no little monster in the bed with them, mornings like this got even better.

"Do you have to go soon?" (Y/n) muttered the words quietly against his neck, her voice laced with sleep but her actions proved she was wide awake now.

"Hm, I've got time."

(Y/n)'s eyes shot open and a gasp tumbled past her lips when the arm around her waist tightened and his palm pressed flat against her lower back so he could flip them over. He rolled her onto her back, muffling her quiet laugh as he moved to kneel between her legs. Evan's hands planted down on the pillow either side of her head, caging her in beneath him like she was his prey and his teeth flashed in a sharp grin that looked animalistic.

She brought her hands up to cup his face, smoothing her thumbs over his cheekbones as he leaned down to press a kiss to her lips.

"This has to go," Evan muttered the words quietly against her lips, drinking in the taste of them until he was positively drunk and (Y/n) was gasping against his mouth. His hands moved down to her sides as his weight shifted to rest on his knees so he could scrunch up the bottom of her shirt that clung to her curves like a second skin that left very little to the imagination.

He didn't have to say anything for (Y/n) to lean up so he could slowly peel it off and her grin made his heart jump, especially when her smile was obscured by her teeth puncturing into her lower lip.

He threw the small, flimsy material down on the floor and gave the cover a nudge until it fell off his back and crumpled to the bottom of the bed. He was starting to burn up already, they didn't need any extra layers covering them.

While he took a moment to admire the view in front of him, (Y/n) took her chance to scrape her nails agonisingly slow over his skin, starting from his abdomen and she worked her way up until her hands were curved around his neck. Her fingers tickled the small hairs at the back of his neck and she sat up to meet him in the middle, moulding her chest against his before she pulled his lips down to hers.

(Y/n) could feel the fever behind his kiss and the way his fingertips dug bruisingly into her hips when she pushed her chest up against him just to irritate him and goad him further.

Her lips curved into a smile against his kiss and when she pulled back, (Y/n) sucked his lower lip between her teeth and gave a small tug until she could feel the growl deep within his chest, rumbling through into her own.

"Baby," Evan's groan was deep and the word was a warning. He didn't have a lot of time before the alarm was going to go off and he didn't like being teased.

Her fingertips slid away from the back of his neck and trailed their way back down the middle of his chest, covering every square inch that she could. Her plump lips left Evan's and moved towards his razor sharp jaw and when she could feel him starting to quiver beneath her, she started to kiss down his neck.

The moment her teeth grazed against the junction between his neck and shoulder, about to leave a mark, Evan suddenly clenched her wrists in a tight grip and leaned his weight onto her again. He pushed her down on the bed and fell forward until his chest slammed into hers and her hands were pinned down on the mattress. Evan tried to keep some of his weight pushed back on his legs and his elbows so he didn't crush his wife beneath him, but he could still feel every crevace of her moulded up against him.

And as always, he leaned slightly to the left so he wouldn't touch the small oval plaster patch on the right side of her abdomen.

Her Dexcom.

A small sensor just beneath the skin that took continuous readings of (Y/n)'s glucose levels so she didn't have to prick her finger and check her levels through her blood anymore. It didn't hurt but Evan never wanted to lean too close or press on it just in case he did one day hurt her or damage it.

"Hmm, my turn." There was something demanding and authorative in his voice that was not to be messed with and all (Y/n) could do was turn to jelly beneath his touch.

She barely had chance to gasp before Evan smothered her mouth with his and let his tongue explore past her lips.

Wet, panting kisses were peppered along her neck and down the middle of her throat so every time she gasped or swallowed, Evan could feel each movement. He let go of her hands and moved his fingertips across her sides and down the dips and curves to that special area just above her hips where (Y/n) was ticklish. He loved the way her stomach would pull in and she would jump against his touch when all he had to do was lightly trace the pad of his finger along her skin and it had her gasping and laughing beneath him.

"We won't be needing these any more." He hooked his fingers into the top of her underwear and shuffled back on his knees to remove them when (Y/n) lifted her legs.

She watched him throw the dark red lace onto the floor along with her top and a deep laugh rumbled past his lips when she pressed her feet against his hips and managed to push his boxers down rather easily from where she was laid on her back. If he wasn't going to let her sit up and do it manually, she had to get creative.

"That's both impatient and impressive, baby."

(Y/n) grinned up at him but she let her eyes fall down to watch him roll his boxers past his knees so he could kick them onto the floor. When they were off, (Y/n) sat up and looped her arms back round his neck, desperate to be as close as possible.

"Do you have to leave us for two whole days, Evan?" She knew exactly what kind of reaction she got from using his name and as expected, something burned deeper and darker in his eyes. He was going on a double shift today and wouldn't be home until tomorrow night.

She felt his hand move and his arm wrapped like an iron bar around her back just above her bum so he could reel her in and pull her closer. He held her so close and tight that he lifted her up from her bed and she had to shuffle her weight onto the back of her legs to stay tall against him like this. Her hands dug tightly into his shoulders to steady herself, but a silent gasp left her lips when his other hand dug lovingly into the underside of her thigh.

(Y/n) felt her back hit the headboard and her knees coiled up as Evan shifted forward so he was leaning on her chest and kneeled between her spread legs. He looked- and acted- like he had always belonged there between her thighs, and he always would.

"It's not by choice, baby, I'd much rather stay right here," His voice was gruff and thick but he barely got the last word out before he crashed his lips against hers in a silent battle. He dug his nails tighter into her thigh and moved her leg to hook it around his hip so he could brace his hand on the wall behind the bed. The last thing he wanted was to put all of his weight onto (Y/n) or give her bruises down her spine from the wooden headboard.

"Daddy!"

"Damn." Evan leaned down and buried his face in the crook of (Y/n)'s neck, feeling her shudder against him when he sank his teeth down into the soft flesh and tugged.

Lottie was crying.

That was a sure sign that she was now wide awake and wasn't likely to settle back to sleep or wait five minutes for one of them to go and comfort her. She was awake and already demanding attention which Evan was going to have to provide. He was going to be at work for the next two days without his wife or four year old in his sights or wrapped up in his arms. Evan needed whatever comfort he could grab with them both now before he headed off for work.

"I'll go get her," (Y/n) cupped Evan's face in her hands so she could peck his lips again. But she didn't get to move far before Evan nudged her back against the bed an gave her thigh another squeeze.

"Nope. She's mine until I have to leave," Evan grinned against her mouth but his attention turned to the bedside table when his phone pinged.

His thumb traced across her jaw and he pressed a sloppy kiss to her cheek before he reached across and grabbed his phone. Squinting at the brightness to try and see what notification he had and trying to turn off his alarm at the same time, now that he was well and truly awake.

His lips curved into a smile and he set his phone down before he opened his top bedside drawer and rummaged around until his fingers found the sweetie bag stuffed beneath his wallet, chargers and loose change.

He relished the way (Y/n)'s eyes widened and followed his movements when he placed the bag of jelly babies down on the pillow next to her.

"Pop a sweet, baby girl. You need some sugar." With a lasting kiss to her lips, Evan grinned against her mouth and gave her a squeeze before he slowly climbed off her and stood up.

Her Dexcom was connected to her phone, but Evan got the alerts and notifications too. He wanted to be safe. If (Y/n) started having a hypo during the night, she didn't always wake up, she was a heavy sleeper whereas every little noise woke Evan. He would wake up when his notifications went off so he would know if her sugar levels were dropping or rising too fast.

He made it a point to keep glucose sachets and a stash of sweets safe in the jeep on the off chance (Y/n) needed them to boost her levels while they were out. And Evan always had some sweets around the apartment. Jelly babies happened to be his weakness and he knew they were good to boost (Y/n)'s levels if she ever needed them.

Evan rattled a hand through his curls, flopping them around his head as he looked around the floor for his boxers. He couldn't be too annoyed at Lottie, his alarm would have gone off in exactly three minutes anyway and ruined the moment. And Evan wanted to spend the morning with his little girl while he got ready for the morning. He would eat breakfast with his family, then head to the station and wait for the chaos to ensue and the weekend to drag out into a year.

When he found his boxers, Evan snapped them back over his hips and stretched his arms high above his head, hitting the doorframe as he headed out into Lottie's room.

As expected, Lottie was sat up in her bed, a few tears traced down her face and her baby blonde hair askew in every direction. Poking up into ringlets and curls like she had been electrocuted. Evan took a guess that she had had a bad dream to wake up crying. Usually Lottie was hard to get out of bed, she didn't like going to bed early and hated getting up before seven in the morning.

"Hi sweetie," A grin curved onto Evan's lips and he flashed his teeth and stretched his arms out to pick her up. "Are you gonna get ready with me this morning before I have to go?"

He lifted Lottie up into his arms and let her curl up against his bare chest with her head snuggled beneath his chin and both arms looped around his neck rather tightly.

"You off to see grandad?"

A soft smile flooded Evan's face that made his eyes crease at the corners and he grinned into the top of Lottie's hair, bouncing her higher on his chest as he slowly padded across the hall back towards his and (Y/n)'s room.

Lottie didn't understand what a fireman was, she was only four. But she understood that Evan's job was important and he helped people every day when he went to work. But most of the time, she seemed to think Evan went to work just to see her grandad. She thought Evan and Bobby went out driving around the streets and had so much fun without her.

"Yeah, sweetie. I'm gonna see pops."

***

"Here,"

Evan looked up from where he was slouched down on the sofa and he sat up a bit straighter when Chimney stood over him, holding out Evan's signature cup. His brows quirked and he reached out for his cup, grinning when he realised Chimney had made him a cup of coffee.

"Did you remember-"

"Four sugars, because you need to be tanked up to function." Chimney glanced down at the cup with a raised brow before he handed it over to Evan who instantly took a large gulp. He couldn't understand how Evan could have so much coffee and all the sugar he did but without it he got headaches and could barely function on his usual hyperactive level.

"Thank you," He murmured around the rim of the cup while Chimney flopped down on the sofa beside him.

Evan found himself grinning again when he looked down at the cup he'd gotten last year from Lottie. (Y/n) had neatly painted 'No.1 Dad' in italics and then either side of that, Lottie had dipped her hands into plum purple paint and done hand prints on the mug. The moment he got it, Evan brought it straight down to the station and proudly told everyone it was his new mug he would be using from now on.

"So how'd it go yesterday, with Lottie?"

A sigh passed through Evan's lips as he sat up and hunched forward so his elbows could rest on his knees with one hand curled around his mug.

"I walked her in all smiles but the moment I turned to leave, she screamed. I had to run out before I took her with me."

Lottie was having a hard time being left at nursery and it didn't matter who took her. She would scream, cry and throw a tantrum when anyone tried to leave her. Evan wasn't sure if she was panicking that they wouldn't be there to pick her up in the afternoon or whether she was having attachment issues and didn't want to be without her parents. Either way, it broke his heart to take her and watch her go red in the face, begging for him to take her back home.

"What if you threaten to call Bobby?" Chimney knew Lottie was attached to Bobby, she spent every weekend with him and Athena and she had her grandad wrapped around her little finger.

"(Y/n) tried that, backfired though when Lottie cried for him to pick her up and he practically caved."

Bobby prided himself on being level headed and fair with the team and he was the best captain any of them had ever had. But when it came to his granddaughter, he couldn't seem to say no and it broke him to have her on the phone, crying and begging for him to come and take her home. He didn't know how to respond to that. He couldn't try and talk her out of it or calm her down like he would with the team.

When his phone buzzed in his pocket, Evan leaned forward and set his cup down on the coffee table. The smile faded from his lips when he looked at the notification on his phone.

Glucose level: 3mmol/l.

"Shit."

"You okay?"

"I just need to make a quick call," Evan was up and at the stairs before Chimney could give a reply. He swiped down onto (Y/n)'s contact and dialled her number.

Her glucose had dropped below the limit. His phone pinged against his ear with another two alerts from (Y/n)'s app, advising to sit down and have something to eat. He knew the third alert was a list of foods and drinks (Y/n) should have to boost her levels before she went into a hypoglycaemic state.

"Fuck, baby can you call me back or text me please? I'm starting to get a lot of alerts that your sugar is dropping. Please let me know you're okay." Evan tried ringing again after leaving a voicemail but he didn't get a reply and each ringtone that blared out made his heart beat faster in his chest. He sent three texts, one right after the other before he started to jog down the stairs.

(Y/n) couldn't be busy if her levels were getting this low, she would be feeling some sort of effect. She would be feeling lightheaded, dizzy, sweating and possibly confused. She had to ring him and let him know she was alright because if the alerts carried on he would be heading straight home to check on her.

When he got another notification that told him (Y/n) was in the danger zone with her levels, his body started to shake.

"Where's Cap?" His voice lowered an octave deeper than usual and his loud tone demanded attention with a force he didn't know he had. He watched Hen's eyes go wide as she silently pointed behind her towards Bobby's office, watching him with worry on her face.

Evan kept his phone in his hand as he jogged past the truck and down the small corridor, relief on his face when his father in law came into view.

"Buck… everything okay?"

"No. Look," He thrust his phone into Bobby's hand before he clamped both hands down on his hips and switched his weight from foot to foot in nervous panic. "(Y/n)'s levels are dropping and I can't get hold of her, she isn't answering me. I think I need to go check on her."

"Right. If you-"

Bobby cut himself off before he could properly start, tilting his head back when the siren started to blaze. He needed to go and check they had enough staff for this callout, then he could authorize Evan to head home and check on the girls.

The pair of them stood in perpetual panic, waiting for the first siren to start fading so the tanoid could announce their new call and tell them what kind of call they had. If it was a small one and not a huge pile up or a spreading town fire then Evan would be fine to leave.

"Medical assistance required at Suitcliffe apartments. Diabetic female, early twenties, collapsed and going into a state of shock. Repeat, medical personnel required."

Evan was running before Bobby could reach out and grab him. He skidded down the corridor, around the corner and towards the truck without grabbing his jacket or his helmet. His eyes locked with Eddie who had both their gear in his hands and a panicked expression on his face when he listened to the tanoid announcement repeat itself again.

"Buck, isn't that your building?"

"It's (Y/n)! She's having a hypo, get in the truck. Everybody get in the fucking truck now!"

***

"911, what's your emergency?"

"Hi… can someone help mummy?"

The meek, quiet voice on the other end of the line had shivers running up and down Josh's spine. He sat up straighter in his seat and pressed the GPS button to try and locate where the girl was calling from. She sounded young, he couldn't imagine her knowing her address or the name of wherever she was calling from.

"What's your name hun?"

"Lottie." She sounded sweet, there wasn't as much panic in her voice as some other kids whose calls Josh had taken before.

"Okay Lottie, why does mummy need help?"

His eyes narrowed in his screen as he started typing in her name and adding in the notes that a child was calling on behalf of a parent. He could tell he was going to need paramedics and possibly one of the fire stations if the girl and her mum were locked in their house and she couldn't unlock the door. Most little kids didn't know where the keys were kept or couldn't get to them. That left the fire team to bust down the door to get inside.

"Daddy said if… if mummy falls asleep on the floor, and shakes, I need to call for help."

That sounded like a seizure. And if the parent had briefed Lottie on how to call for help in this situation, that meant the mother was most likely an epileptic or had an ongoing medical condition that required a lot of help.

"Is your mummy shaking a lot? Does she have seizures?"

"No. She has sugary blood."

Josh leaned back in his chair and did a quick sweep of the dispatch centre until his eyes clocked sight of Maddie. Once the pair locked eyes, he lifted his chin and waved his hand at her to beckon her over to him. He had a creeping suspicion that the little girl on the phone might be the same Lottie Maddie was always talking about on her break.

"Everything okay?"

"I have a girl named Lottie on the line, her mummy had sugary blood… is it your niece?" His lips curled into a grimace and he sucked in a deep breath when Maddie visibly paled in front of him. She held her hand out to him and waited impatiently for him to hand over the mic and ear piece to her and they switched seats.

"Lottie, is that you sweetie? It's aunt Maddie." She wheeled the chair closer and bumped her knees against the desk, focusing in on the GPS location on the phone which made her stomach drop. This was her niece. The phone was in Evan's apartment.

"Maddie! Mummy needs help… I want daddy,"

"That's okay sweetie, I'll make sure your dad comes home. Now can you tell me where your mum is, where abouts at home are you?"

"She's in the living room, on the floor. She isn't talking to me anymore,"

There was no way Maddie could start to explain to Lottie about finding the emergency glucagon in the kitchen. She was too young to understand and far too young to be giving (Y/n) an injection or finding the powder or sachets to squeeze into her mouth. The best Maddie could do was rush paramedics to her family and stay on the line.

"How's her breathing? Can you hear her breathe or see her chest moving? Try to touch mummy's chest and feel if it's moving up and down." The chances were that (Y/n) was breathing okay but Maddie had to be sure. She had seen her sister in a lot of diabetic hypo or hyper states over the years. But Lottie had never had to call the emergency line before.

"She's panting."

"That's good." It was better than (Y/n) not breathing at all or wheezing or barely having any intake. "I need you to do me a favour sweetie, and try to push mummy so she's laid on her side. Daddy showed you the recovery position, remember? Arms stretched out, head tilted up, yeah?"

Evan wanted Lottie to know what to do in emergency situations, he, Bobby and Athena had talked her through various situations and told her enough stories about their work that she would know what to do. It was drilled into her about calling 911 for any sort of help and she knew the number because she always pointed it out whenever she saw one of the fire trucks.

With (Y/n) being type one diabetic, they needed Lottie to know what to do if (Y/n) became sick, collapsed or passed out and no one else was around. But every other time (Y/n) had collapsed, Evan had been home with them.

The one time they had been out in town together and (Y/n) couldn't control her sugar levels, she took Lottie with her to the station. And the team looked after them both.

"I've done it, mummy's very sweaty… daddy says that's a bad sign." Lottie laid her chest over (Y/n)'s arm and perched her chin on her mum's shoulder while she kept the house phone on the floor beside them.

Her mum was taking very shallow, panting breaths, she wasn't awake anymore and she was starting to sweat as well as shake.

When (Y/n) started to feel dizzy and felt panic bubbling up in her chest, she tried to get Lottie to sit and watch tv so she could go to the kitchen. She had some fruit juice to try and boost her levels but she still felt thirsty and like she was going to be sick. Then when a piece of fruit didn't do anything to boost her levels and she heard her phone alerting her, she began to panic.

Suddenly she was on the floor, trying to tell Lottie to call the emergency number before her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she was a trembling, sweating mess on the floor.

"It's okay sweetie because you know what? Your daddy and grandad are on their way now to you. They will be two minutes and I'll stay on the phone with you until they get there."

Maddie was relieved to see that the dispatch notification had gone straight to the one-eighteen station since they were the closest to the scene and available to help. That meant Evan, Bobby or both of them would be on this call and would be able to calm Lottie down and look after (Y/n) because Maddie could hear her niece beginning to cry.

For a brief second, she muted the line to Lottie and switched to the one-eighteen radio. She had to let them know what call they were going into.

"Dispatch to one-eighteen, Captain Nash?"

"This is Captain Nash."

"Please be advised your daughter is the casualty and inform firefighter Buckley that Lottie is on the emergency line. (Y/n) is unresponsive and in a hypoglycaemic state, she's been put in the recovery position and is still breathing at this point."

"Copy."

A groan tumbled past Evan's lips as he clasped his hands together and pressed them against his temple. He leaned forward and spread his knees apart so he could hunch forward like he was going to be sick. He taught Lottie how to call 911 and what to say and how to get help but he never dreamed his baby girl would actually have to do anything like this. It was to keep her safe, to prepare her but Evan never wanted her to have to call for help.

He had to get home to his girls.

With one hand still pressed against his temple, Evan rummaged his other hand in his back pocket until he found his house keys. He began to swirl them around his index finger, moving faster and faster to try and level out the anxiety bubbling up in his body.

He was thankful Bobby wasn't the one driving, he knew the Captain could be level headed no matter the situation, but Bobby might have gone a little soo fast and sharp around the corners if he was driving tonight.

Tremors rattled through Evan when the truck finally pulled up and he could throw off the headset and jump down to the pavement.

He bolted across the pavement to the apartment complex and punched in the keycode, swinging the door open wide enough for everyone to filter in behind him. Evan knew waiting for the lift would waste time when his apartment was on the fourth floor so he led the march up the stairwell.

Hen was hot on his heels, medic bag on her shoulder with Bobby a few paces behind her. While Chimney and Eddie headed over to the lift and waited with the gurney between them. They weren't carting the gurney up the stairs, they would hang back and take a slow journey up the lift.

"Lottie? Lottie baby it's me, where are you?!" Evan started to speak before he got the door open and when it swung wide, he diverted himself towards the kitchen. As soon as he reached the medicine cupboard, he flung it open, knocked out a few items he would tidy away later and grabbed the black zip up case.

"Daddy!"

Spinning on his heels, Evan bypassed Hen, almost knocking her out of his path so he could speed past the stairs and head into the living room. He dropped down to his knees, dumping the medic case on the floor near his feet before his arms cocooned around his daughter.

He reeled Lottie into his chest and kissed the side of her head, closing his eyes as he leaned forward. One hand cradled the back of her neck and the other bound around her waist, keeping her cuddled up into his chest as she whimpered and cried into his neck.

"Alright baby, shh it's okay. You've done so well… look, you stay with grandad while I help your mum, okay?" He sank back on his heels and tilted his head up to look at Bobby while Hen bent down on (Y/n)'s other side.

"Come here sweetheart," Bobby bent down and held his arms out, reeling Lottie into his chest after Evan kissed her temple and lifted her up.

As soon as Bobby retreated towards the kitchen with Lottie perched on his hip, Evan turned around and leaned down to look at his wife.

(Y/n) was laid on her side, both arms stretched out awkwardly in front of her and her head tilted back. The trembling was worse than Evan was used to, it was as if she was being roughly shaken back and forth by invisible hands. And he didn't have to move closer to see the sweat glistening on her skin like beads sparkling in the light.

With a gentle touch, he rolled (Y/n) over so she was laid on her back and Hen stretched her legs out. They didn't need her in the recovery position anymore unless she was at risk of throwing up and Evan doubted she would be sick.

"What's in here?" Hen tapped the black case Evan had brought through from the kitchen while she rummaged around in her medic bag and handed the blood pressure cuff over to Evan. She placed a monitoring clip onto (Y/n)'s index finger and got out her stethoscope, moving it to (Y/n)'s trembling chest.

"Emergency glucagon injections… God, her BP's plummeting,"

Evan held the blood pressure monitor so tightly he was about to snap it in half when he watched the numbers fall lower and lower with a drastic beep that started to scream in his ears. Once it finally found the accurate yet worrying reading, Evan unstrapped it and left it beside them on the floor.

"Come here baby," He whispered quietly as he slipped his hands beneath (Y/n)'s shoulders and lifted her up so he could rest her head and shoulders over his lap. His fingertips rubbed up and down (Y/n)'s bare arms to try and stimulate her and calm them both down.

His eyes focused on Hen when she unzipped the case and got out the two small viles and a needle. She was quick to fill the needle and take (Y/n)'s arm, dosing her up on glucagon that would break down through her body and boost her levels back up. It had been a few months since Evan had needed to use the emergency glucagon. Normally when (Y/n) had a hypo, he got her sat down, gave her some sweets or fruit or a can of fizzy pop and after twenty minutes and a few different things to eat, her levels evened out and the episode wore off.

"Pushing fluids wide open," Hen laid an IV bag out beside her leg and capped the needle into the back of (Y/n)'s right hand, taping it in place.

Evan found his phone in his pocket and opened up (Y/n)'s Dexcom app, placing his phone on the floor between him and Hen so they could both keep check of her levels. If they didn't start to rise soon (Y/n) would need another injection and an overnight stay at the hospital.

"Hey there," Hen rubbed her hand up and down (Y/n)'s arm and tried to smile reassuringly when she noticed (Y/n)'s eyes begin to flutter.

"Baby? Are you back with us?"

A quiet murmur fled past (Y/n)'s chapped lips and she slowly turned her head to the left, brushing her nose into Evan's thigh. Her limbs felt like they were made of gold, weighing her down to the floor and her pulse was throbbing and making her skin feel like it was vibrating. She managed to move her left hand and her arm flopped around above her until her fingers curled around Evan's bicep and she gave him a tight squeeze.

Her head flopped forward until her chin was tucked into her chest when Evan's hands slipped beneath her arms and he gently hoisted her up. His knees parted to the sides so (Y/n) could slot perfectly between his thighs with her back resting up against his chest and his arms cocooned around her waist.

(Y/n) dropped her hand back down and clenched Evan's hand tightly, groaning when shakes and spasms tore through her body and had her jolting back into Evan's chest.

"Levels are starting to pick back up, we should still take you to the emergency room though, you're going into shock." Hen waved her hand over at the boys when Chimney and Eddie wheeled the gurney inside, looking around to see what they were walking into.

"Are you alright, baby? You nearly gave me a heart attack," Evan pressed his lips to the top of (Y/n)'s head, breathing into her hair as he tightened his arms around her.

"You c-came home?" (Y/n)'s voice was quiet and croaky. Her throat felt dryer than the desert and her lips were chapped and in need of a drink. One thing about having these hypos was that they usually made (Y/n) thirsty and no amount of fluids could quench her thirst when she felt like this.

"Lottie called 911, but I would have come home even if she hadn't."

A fire burned in Evan's chest when (Y/n) suddenly began to cry. Her eyes were half-lidded and barely focused and her lower lip trembled as her body started to shake worse. She tucked her face into the crook of Evan's neck, brushing her nose against his skin while she clenched both hands tightly over his wrists, unable to stop herself from sobbing.

What had she done? She had frightened Lottie. She had scared their four year old and made her call 911. Lottie had never had to do that before, (Y/n) had never gotten into this state when she was alone with Lottie.

"Shh, hey, no it's okay she's alright. Shh," Evan moved one hand up to cup (Y/n)'s jaw while he tilted his chin down and smothered her temple with his lips. He began to sway them from side to side to try and calm her down, he didn't want her to panic or get upset. She couldn't help being ill and they had prepared Lottie for this kind of situation and in a few days it would be long forgotten to Lottie.

His head turned to the right and he looked up when Chimney patted him on the shoulder and motioned towards the gurney. They should take (Y/n) down to the hospital now.

"Alright, ready?"

Hen picked up the saline bag while Evan tilted around and curved one arm behind (Y/n)'s back while the other went beneath her knees. If this were a normal call out Evan wouldn't dream of picking someone up like this. But this was his home, his family. His wife. He lifted her up and laid her down on the gurney while Hen put the saline bag by her ankle so it wouldn't get crushed or tangled up.

"Mummy's alright now, see?" A small smile pulled at Bobby's lips as he bounced his granddaughter on his hip and walked away from the kitchen towards his daughter.

He was used to being the one to give (Y/n) her injections after her sugar levels plummeted or rose too high. He was the one who used to find her collapsed in her bedroom at home or pick her up from school when she started to become panicked and confused during a hypo. It was strange for Bobby to take a step back and let Evan be the one to look after (Y/n) instead.

But he would gladly step back and switch to looking after Lottie instead. She had tired herself out in all the panic and was now curled up in Bobby's arms with one hand smoothing up and down the LAFD logo on his shirt. Her head was tucked beneath his chin and she was almost asleep since Bobby had been stood in the kitchen, swaying her from side to side while he told her a story.

And he had unzipped his jacket, moved Lottie against his chest and zipped his jacket back up around her like a blanket so only her head was on show.

Bobby moved towards the stretcher, keeping Lottie secure with one arm while he stretched his other hand out and placed a can of Dr Pepper against (Y/n)'s thigh. She would need to eat or drink something sugary to boost her levels before they dropped again.

"Do you feel okay sweetheart?" He smiled when (Y/n) reached out to take his hand and he squeezed tight as the team headed towards the lift.

(Y/n) didn't have the words or the energy to speak so she settled for nodding and pulling her dad's hand closer to her chest. She could feel Evan's hand on her shoulder and her eyes were locked on Lottie curled up against Bobby's chest, almost asleep despite the panic.

Her eyes flitted up to look at Evan and she leaned her head to the side and nuzzled her cheek against his arm.

"Good job I've got the app on my phone as well, huh baby?"

#evan buckley #buck imagine #buck x reader #maddie buckley #evan buckley x reader #evan buckley imagine #imagine #911 imagine #bobby nash

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neo-nomatrix · 1 year

Text

Just Stay

Miguel O’hara x reader

word count: 885

synopsis: miguel is never there when you need him the most

warnings: SMUT!! not super explicit but a lot of dialogue and some descriptions

You’ve become used to waking up in an empty bed. Miguel was never next to you in the morning. Eventually you stopped reaching your hand to the left side of the bed, his side of the bed. Some part of you was always disappointed, though. There was still a small ache in your heart not being able to greet him in the morning.

“Are you going to work tomorrow?” You ask him, playing with the food on your plate.

“You know I have to,” he dismisses you, turning back to washing his plate.

You stay silent and fidget with your fork.

“You have me for tonight. Isn’t that enough?”

No, you want to respond. Of course that isn’t enough.

“Of course it is,” you smile.

On nights like these, which are most nights, Miguel doesn’t just fuck you. He makes love to you. He treats you so well you forget it’s his way of saying goodbye. He tells you he loves you and then doesn't even care enough to say good morning. Maybe he hopes you forget about it or forgive him. And you hate yourself for loving him so much to not care.

“Ay, i fucking love you, Cariño,” Miguel says so sweetly in your ear. Making your eyes roll to the back of your head.

The mix of your moans and his grunts drown out everything else. The world around you is completely blurred as he thrusts in and out of you. You could describe his kisses as sloppy but in truth they’re not. They’re given with such love and adoration for the brief moment you forget he doesn’t mean it.

“Say it, say it back,” he practically growls in your ear. His hands grip your waist, one slowly coming up to your neck squeezing.

“I-I love you,” you say reluctantly. Tears spotting in the corner of your left eye.

Your arms wrap around his neck and you grip at his broad shoulders. Hands scraping over the scars you scratched on his back the night before. He pushes his head into the crook of your neck to suck on your neck. His teeth digging into your neck and leaving marks everywhere.

He fucks you like he loves you. And you just can’t tell if he means it. Your hands pull at his hair as he finishes inside of you, pulling you in for one more kiss. Allowing his moans to melt inside of you.

Afterwards, you let him take care of you. You let him carry you to the bathroom and you let him tuck you into bed. You let him kiss you on the forehead and pull you to his chest as he gets into bed with you. You fall asleep in his arms fully knowing it won’t be like this when you wake up.

So of course, it surprises you when you wake up to Miguel’s arms around you. His breath on the back of your head and his arms squeezing around you like he’s afraid you’re going to run away while he’s not looking.

“You’re still here,” you whisper, half hoping he wasn’t awake.

“I know I'm not around a lot anymore. I’m trying, really,” he responds, loosening his grip on you.

“That doesn’t fix everything else.” You get out of bed and face him.

“I know it doesn’t. I know how much I've messed up, believe me.”

He sits up on his elbows, the duvet cover falling perfectly at his waist revealing his toned stomach. God, it is hard to be mad at that six pack.

“I hate the way you treat me, you know that? You’re never around and I fuckin hate it. When i’m alone and- and sad you’re supposed to be there to tell me it’s all gonna be okay but you’re not! And I am so sick of it. I want to be happy. I understand how important being Spiderman is but you have to learn to balance it out okay? Or else I can't do this anymore,” you exhale. Finally letting out what you’ve been wanting to say for months.

“You’re giving me an ultimatum?” He clarifies.

“Yes! I am! and you are in no position to question me,” you state.

“I get that, I do Cariño. But what I do decides the fate of the world. Of everyone, including you,” he tries to reason.

“Maybe we just shouldn’t be together then. If it’s that important. I shouldn’t be a distraction from that” you turn away from him. Unable to make eye contact with him.

You take his silence as an answer. You’re facing the wall, you’re hands on the edge of a desk. Biting your lower lip, wondering what’s going to happen next. After a few seconds you turn around to an empty room. The door just an inch open. He left.

He fucking left you. Again.

You’ve come to learn that Miguel will leave and abandon you when you need him the most. And you know that’s not what you deserve. But you also know that you love him, and that he hopefully loves you just as much.

You hate yourself for loving him. And he hates himself for hurting you. Maybe there’s a universe where the two of you are happy with each other, truly happy. No matter how much it hurts, you know you will love each other in every universe.

#marvel x reader #x reader #miguel o’hara #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o’hara x you #miguel o’hara x y/n #spiderman atsv x reader #spiderman x reader #spiderman 2099 x reader #spiderman atsv #spiderman 2099 #spiderman x you #spiderman x y/n #spiderman across the spiderverse #miguel o’hara smut #miguel o’hara x reader smut #spiderman smut #spiderman x reader smut

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milfsloverblog · 8 months

Text

Secret Benefits (NSFW)

Part 2 (part 1 here)

Sugar mommy!Larissa Weems x fem!reader

A/N: This took a while, but it's finally here. And good news, I've got most of part 3 written already! In this part, Larissa and reader enter the vicious circle of both thinking the other one don't want them like /that/. We might be in for some slow burn, people! Hope you’ll enjoy! <3

You startled awake, hair clinging to your sweaty forehead and an unpleasant, incessant throbbing between your legs. You had dreamt of her, again.

It had been four days since you’d met with Larissa, and you’d been having those wet dreams ever since.

It always started the same way, you’d go through the evening you’d shared at the restaurant, and everything was exactly the same except for what happened when she’d drop you off at your place. You’d invite her in and she’d agree to follow you. You’d barely have time to step into your flat when her lips would attach themselves to your neck, kissing and nipping at the sensitive flesh and making you lose all sense of time and space.

The rest of the dream would happen very quickly, Larissa would have you on any surface of your flat she’d see fit - which had included your sofa, the wall, the kitchen counter and your dining table. She’d hike up your dress and get rid of the lacy thong she’d bought you, shoving it inside her handbag.

“Don’t pout, sweetling,” she’d whisper in your ear, her slender fingers finding their way to your heat. “I promise to buy you more.”

You could only writhe and whimper as she teased you, her digits moving in excruciating slow circles on your clit until she’d decide you’d have had enough and would push two of her fingers knuckle deep inside you, making your breath hitch in a loud gasp.

Larissa’s eyes would never leave your face as she’d relentlessly pound into you. She delighted in the way the right corner of your mouth twitched with each thrust of her fingers, how your brows furrowed deeper and deeper each time she stroked that sweet spot inside you.

You would feel the coil tightening dangerously behind your navel, bringing you closer to your well-deserved release as you’d beg your lover to keep going. Please, Larissa, please, please, please.

And then you’d wake up. You’d find yourself staring at the ceiling of your bedroom, your core aching from another ruined orgasm.

You groaned loudly as you peeled yourself from your bed and headed to the bathroom, taking a single glance at your dishevelled form in the mirror before shedding your pyjamas and stepping in the shower.

How easy it would be, to slip your hand between your legs and give yourself the release that you’d been denied for the last four days. But it wouldn’t be right. You didn’t want this, whatever this was between Larissa and yourself, to turn into something sexual. She would provide you with money and you would provide her with company, as you had both agreed on. Nothing more.

Your phone buzzed on the bedside table right as you walked back into your bedroom to get dressed. You didn’t need to check it to know who it was, Larissa had been sending you good morning texts for the last few days.

You finished getting ready for the day before picking up your phone to read her message.

Good morning, darling. I hope you slept well! Have a good day. Xx

You were almost tempted to tell her you hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in days but eventually refrained from doing so.

Good morning! Slept okay, hope you did too. Have a lovely day :)

You shoved your phone into your bag and hurried out of your flat, knowing you wouldn’t be getting another text from Larissa.

She’d text you once in the morning, then once or twice around noon when, you supposed, she was on her lunch break. After that, you wouldn’t be getting any news until at least 6 pm. At least, because once she hadn’t texted you before 8. You still didn’t know what her job was, but you couldn’t imagine being up at six in the morning only to finish your day so late at night.

As expected, you didn’t receive any more text until your own lunch break. You were out at a local cafe with your best friend, munching on your sandwich when your phone buzzed on the table.

Thinking of you, sweetling. Xx

A blush crept up your cheeks which you desperately tried hiding by taking a sip of water, but it wasn’t lost on your best friend.

“Is that your woman?” She smirked.

“Larissa is not my woman.”

“Oh right, sorry. Is that your sugar mommy, then?”

“Shut your mouth!” You groaned, swatting your friend’s arm.

You had told her about your evening with Larissa. Well, most of it. You didn’t mention the lacy thong or the fact that she’d picked your food.

“You still don’t want to do it?” She snapped you out of your thoughts.

“Do what?”

“Her.”

You rolled your eyes and put your sandwich down, wrapping it in its paper bag to finish it later.

“I’ve told you, I don’t want to feel like I’m selling my body for money.” You explained for what seemed to be the fifteenth time that week.

“Oh, come on! I would let a woman like her fuck me for free any time she wants.”

“Don’t be crass,” you said, shoving your sandwich into your bag. “Larissa is not like that, and neither am I. Now move, we need to get back to class.”

You typed in a quick answer to Larissa as you walked into your next class and sat down at your usual desk.

Thinking of you too. Wanna call tonight? I’d love to hear your voice and have a chat. No worries if not :)

Larissa was pouring herself a cup of coffee, her fourth that day, when she read your answer. You wanted to call her, to hear her voice. A small smile pulled at the corners of her lips as she sipped on her coffee and texted you back.

I would love that. I’ll text you when I’m done working. Xx

And so she did. You had been home for a couple of hours when your phone started ringing, making you run from the kitchen to the sofa to make sure you’d get it in time.

“Larissa! Hi!”

“Hello, darling. I hope it’s not too late?” Her British accent filled your flat as you pressed on the speaker button.

“No, no it’s not. Did you have a good day?” Truth be told, she did sound a little tired but you would never dare to bring it up.

“It was alright, not the worst day I’ve ever had.” She chuckled lowly, sending a shiver down your spine. “It’s a good day now, though. It’s nice to hear you.”

“It’s nice to hear you too, I thought it’d be better and easier than just texting back and forth.”

“Mhm…” Larissa hummed and you heard the distinctive ‘pop’ of a bottle being opened.

“Wine?” You asked, earning another chuckle from the woman on the phone.

“Red. Just one glass to help me relax.”

She needed it. She really needed it after the stunt that Wednesday had pulled that day.

“I wish I could share one with you,” you said, hearing Larissa pouring the wine into a glass.

“Do you?” Her voice seemed to have dropped an octave, and you wondered if her nostrils had flared like they’d done back at the restaurant.

“Yes, yes I do. I’d let you pick the wine, of course. I’d watch you pour it and wait for you to bring the glass to my lips.”

Larissa let out a shuddering breath, suddenly feeling extremely hot in her shirt. Her fingers swiftly moved to take care of unbuttoning the constricting piece of clothing, leaving her in a white bralette.

“Larissa?” You called when she hadn’t answered for a while.

“Yes, I’m here, darling. Simply lost in my thoughts.” Larissa admitted before taking a sip of wine.

“Are you thinking of me again?” You asked, deciding to try your luck.

Wine dribbled from the corner of Larissa’s mouth, rolling down her chin to quickly drip onto her chest. It would leave a stain, Larissa thought as she watched the crimson liquid soaking the lacy fabric of her bralette.

“Would you like that? Me thinking of you?” She eventually answered after another long silence.

“Maybe, yes.”

There was another silent moment as Larissa took another couple sips of wine before placing her glass on the coffee table.

She sighed loudly, wanting nothing more than to hike up her skirt and let her fingers explore her sex. It was such a shame that you weren’t interested in being intimate with her, she would have loved to listen to your heavy breathing as you’d touch yourself on the other side of the phone.

“I want to take you shopping this weekend, if you’re free,” She eventually said.

“Shopping?”

“Lingerie shopping, specifically. I want to treat you to a couple of sets. Would you be interested in that, sweetling?”

“Yes! Yes, I would love that. I’ve never really been lingerie shopping before.” But you wouldn’t pass on such an opportunity.

“Good. How about you call your work tomorrow, and let them know you won’t be able to be there on Saturday? I’ll take care of you.”

You knew what she meant by that, she’d hand you another one of those envelopes filled with a couple hundred dollars.

“I’ll call tomorrow.”

“Good.” Larissa sighed again.

She had emptied her glass, her right hand was groping at her body while the other one kept the phone pressed to her ear. She’d have to hang up soon, before she’d start fucking herself.

“Larissa?” You called again.

“Mhm? Yes, darling?”

“I should go, still need to take a shower and get everything ready for tomorrow… It was so nice to hear you, I hope we can do this again soon.”

“Any time you want, you only need to text me.”

“I will.” You promised. “Well, have a good night, Larissa.”

“Have a good night, darling.” She answered, biting her tongue as she thought of adding think of me.

You listened to her breathing for another second before hanging up and dropping yourself on your sofa.

God, that woman was hot. Her voice through the phone had made you soaking wet and it had taken everything within you to keep your hand out of your pants.

Back in her quarters, Larissa didn’t have as much self-control as you did. Her skirt had been hiked as soon as you had hung up, her legs parting to let her move her panties to the side.

“Oh, darling…” She breathed out as she eventually let her fingertips brush on her clit.

You had bewitched her, it seemed. If she didn’t know any better, Larissa would have wondered if you maybe were a siren.

The tall woman was halfway through fucking herself, the coil in her lower stomach tightening with each thrust of her fingers, when she suddenly realised how wrong this was.

She immediately pulled her fingers out of herself, her cheeks burning in embarrassment. You had made it clear that you didn’t want to have sex with her, and it wasn’t right for her to be touching herself thinking of you.

Larissa made her way over to the bathroom to thoroughly wash her hands, eventually opting for a full cold shower to clear her mind from any more sinful thoughts.

As you both got into bed that night, only a few miles away from each other, you both shared the same thought.

How on earth am I going to survive a lingerie shopping session with her?

———————————————————————

taglist: @raspburrythief @weemssapphic @readingtheentrails @larissaoftarthweems @principal-weems09 @kimiinou @winterfireblond @im-a-carnivorous-plant @geekyarmorel @h-doodles @azu-zu @barbarasstar @witchesmortuary @vigelvictoria @m1lflov3rrr @dumbasslesbi @crow-raven-crow @fridays-coven @lilfartbox1 @shawncantwrite @autumn-leaves-chasing-breeze @gwens0girl @aemilia19 @the-bagel24 @lvinhs @thefutureisus2020 @gela123 @a-queen-and-her-throne @rando-mango @wheresmyboo @my-silver-spring @hillary-nicks @ablsk @natasha29romanoff @tallvampirelady12 @canyoufeelmyheartsayinghi @moonyboyjay @i-love-nerdy-stuff @1-800-milfdilf @musicallovinggal @scarlettssub @jasperobsidian-blog @anoymous614372 @i-write-sometimes-maybe @brienne-the-brave @slytherinthepms @non-binary-frogking @wife-of-gwendolinechristie @anjo-iludidoefudido @imnotafruitt @opheliauniverse

#gwendoline christie #larissa weems x reader #larissa weems #principal weems #larissa weems x y/n #no beta we die like larissa #secret benefits

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lambtotheslaughterr · 17 days

Text

Something Wicked This Way Comes

A Rafe Cameron Oneshot

[THIS STORY WILL CONTAIN THEMES OF NON-CON/DUB-CON, MENTAL-EMOTIONAL-PHYSICAL ABUSE, ETC. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. 18+. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT]

WC: 13.3k

Dividers provided by @firefly-graphics

OONA'S MASTERLIST

request for @namelesslosers

requests are currently CLOSED

all AI images are created from prompts i wrote. they are not real images.

Summary: Five years after escaping the cluthes of her violent ex, reader is preparing to spend Halloween night alongside her son, but she wakes that morning feeling something amiss...

it's Halloween, after all, & things are bound to give her a fright, even if it is her past catching up for a bite.

READERS, PREPARE YOURSELVES. I GIVE YOU...THE DARKEST FIC I'VE EVER WRITTEN.

It was like any other day. Except it wasn’t. From the moment you woke up, something was off. You couldn’t put your finger on it, but there was a tense sensation in the air around you. It left you feeling on edge all day, but you had summed it up to be your paranoia & anxiety kicking in because it was Halloween night. After all, it was a night of spooky scares.

What didn’t help relieve your unsettled nerves, was the fact that you had woken up late. It was a little past 7:30 in the morning when you finally rolled over to see the time. The red lights flashing at you on your alarm clock shocked you awake, causing you to stumble out of bed.

“Shit!” You hissed as you raced to your closet to pull out your outfit for the day.

“Louie!” You yelled from your bedroom, listening for any sign of your son being awake. When you didn’t get a response you tripped into the hallway as you struggled to throw your dress on over your head. You were relieved you showered before bed, otherwise you would have dreaded going to work without one.

“Lou?!” You hollered again as you stumbled into his bedroom.

His bed was empty & unmade. You cursed again, knowing exactly where you’d find him next. Leaving his room, you succeeded in getting your dress on & tying the bow in the back before entering the living room. As expected, your son was on his stomach, his bent arms holding his head up as he watched cartoons. You spotted the bag of opened candy on the floor before him.

“Lou…” You sped-walk towards him as he kicked his feet.

He smiled up at you, that sweet innocent smile of his you loved so much.

“You overslept again, Mommy.” He pointed out.

You feigned surprise, “You don’t say. Maybe someone should have woken me up."

Bending at the waist, you picked your son up, cradling him on your hip as you searched for the remote to shut off the TV. Lou rested his on your shoulder, his fingers tangling into your hair as he rubbed the strands between his fingers.

“You were crying in your sleep again last night.” Lou revealed, making your heart stop. “I didn’t want to wake you up since you weren’t crying anymore.”

“Oh, hon.” You paused in the hallway to placed him on the ground, kneeling down to be eye-level with him, “I’m sorry you had to hear that again.”

Ever since you left your hometown, or rather ran away from there, you had the same nightmare. In the beginning they happened every single night, but now, almost six years later, they were few & far between. But it was Louie who suffered the most from them. You didn’t realize you were still having him until he was older & started talking. You remembered when he lied next to you in bed one morning, asking why you cried in your sleep. You never had any memories of the nightmares. But Louie remembered them for you.

“Was the bad man in your dream trying to hurt you again?” Lou bit his lip, a small bout of fear appearing in his eyes.

You tugged him into you, holding him tight against your chest as you hugged him, “All that matters is that it was just a dream.”

Lou wrapped his tiny arms over your shoulders, his hands never leaving your hair. That had been a comfort mechanism of his ever since he was an infant.

“I wish he would visit my dreams.” Lou shared softly, to which you gently pulled him away from you to stare at him bewildered.

“Baby, why would you want that?”

He lowered his eyes, “So you could sleep.”

Releasing a saddened sigh, you ran your fingers through his hair, “Mommy is fine, okay? You keep dreaming your excellent, beautiful dreams. One of us has to, right?”

Lou nodded at that but he wasn’t smiling.

Wanting to lighten the mood, you gathered his hands in yours, “I tell you what, you hurry up & go get dressed while Mommy finishes getting ready & we’ll take the long way to school so you can see the kitties, yeah?”

Louie beamed at that, “Really?!”

“Yes, really.” You kissed his forehead before standing up, “Now, hurry! We’re late as it is.”

Lou took off for his bedroom, cheers of joy left in his wake. You smiled after him before re-entering your bedroom. You closed the door behind you, resting against it momentarily as an old memory flashed before you.

You couldn’t breathe, one of his hands wrapped securely around your throat as he fucked himself into you. His pleased groans filled your ears, forcing more tears from your eyes. A chilled shiver shot up your spin when you felt his lips kiss the tops of your breasts where his teeth marks remained. The weight of his body crushed against yours & you had never felt more trapped.

“Mom!” Lou yelled from down the hallway, making you jump, “Can I wear my costume to school?!”

“Yes, baby!” You hollered back, hearing the unevenness in your voice. Shaking away the awful sensations of that memory, you finished getting ready for work.

Lou skipped ahead of you as you walked down the main street of your small town. You had moved here shortly after Louie was born, wanting him to live in a family town that had a good school system. More importantly, it was a close-knit community. Almost everyone knew everyone. That worked in your favor & made you feel safe. It meant that if anyone new ever moved to town you would know about it. Your neighbors were your last line of defense against the man you escaped from over five years ago.

“Look, Mommy, look!” Lou paused in front of the display window the cat adoption café. He had his face pressed against the glass, his ghoul makeup smearing as he did so. You laughed to yourself, knowing you would just have to re-do his makeup again before going into class with all the other ghosts & witches.

“Wow.” You mused along with your son as he meowed at the cats chasing his finger on the other side of the glass. Lou had been asking for a cat for his birthday ever since he was three years old. Whenever he saw one on the street or in a neighbor’s window, he would race towards it at lay on the ground with it as the feline in question would rub along his face & body, making him as one of their own.

But you always had to say no. A cat, or pet of any kind, would slow you down in the event you had to run again. There had never been a peep or warning from your few trusted friends back home, but you couldn’t risk it. You couldn’t live with yourself if you had to escape from your home with Lou at a moment’s notice, him crying over your shoulder as he begged for you to get his pet.

And that made you furious. That you couldn’t give your son something he truly wanted & loved because you had to be ready for when your past caught up to you.

As Lou continued aweing at the kittens behind the glass, you raised your head to peer inside the café. The elderly woman that was always there waved at you through the glass & you waved back. But as you did, you spotted another in the glass. Only they weren’t on the other side, but in the reflection. And they looked a lot like…

A panicked gasp escaped you as you spun around, staring wide-eyed across the street. But no one was there. Your heart was racing as you looked down the street every which way. But all you saw were other townspeople going about their Friday morning.

It’s in your head, _____. You calmed yourself. He’s not here. It wasn’t him. It’s just your paranoia.

Inhaling sharply, you stole Lou’s attention, grabbing his wrist softly, “C’mon, honey, we gotta go.”

Louie allowed you to drag him away from the kitty café, his arm outstretched in longing.

You saw Lou off to his kindergarten classroom before speed-walking down the hallway to the main office. It was a massive relief to you that you managed to land a job in an administrative position at Lou’s school before he even started. Before that you were waitressing while taking online classes at the local community college, & once you got your degree in business administration, you scored a front office desk job at the only elementary school in town. All you needed was to be close to Lou because you never knew when you’d have to snatch him & run.

“Hey, Miriam.” You greeted breathlessly as you raced into the office, tossing your purse on the floor under your desk.

“Hey, you.” She eyed you mischievously.

Miriam was well beyond her retirement period, but Principle Bentley couldn’t get rid of her if he tried. And tried he had. But it was all in good fun. Miriam was a staple of the school & the town itself. She was known as a hard ass but also a gossip queen. She always had all the tea o what was happening in the sleepy Northeastern town. It made your mostly mundane days more enjoyable.

“Overslept again, I see.”

“Yeah.” You sighed as you turned your computer on, “Don’t know what’s going on lately.”

“Something’s in the air.” She commented, echoing your silent thoughts from earlier that morning. “You should relax, though, hon. You’re always wound so tight.”

You raised your brows in agreement as you pulled up your morning duties, “Easier said than done.”

Miriam chuckled at that. The door behind your respective desks opened & Principle Bentley stepped out.

“Morning, ladies.” He greeted as he approached the coffee maker in the corner of the office.

“Morning, Nicholas.” Miriam didn’t care for referring to him by his career name, after all, she did babysit him when he was only a child.

“Morning, Principle Bentley.” You greeted him, to which he smirked sweetly.

“How many times do I gotta tell you, _____, call me Nick.”

Principle Bentley was young for his job. Thirty one, to be exact, & he was a well-known bachelor in the community. He was easy on the eyes, with dark brown eyes reminiscent of a puppy, & dimples that only added to his boyish charm. But he was your boss. And despite his mild flirtatious advances, you only treated him as such.

If you couldn’t indulge your son by getting him a cat, you sure as shit couldn’t indulge yourself with a romantic partner. It was out of the question. Perhaps one day, when Louie was older & out of the house, but until then, you kept your mind distraction free.

“And how many times do I have to tell you, you’re my boss.” You reminded him back, though your tone was friendly.

Principle Bentley chuckled at that before pouring himself a mug of coffee, “What’s on the agenda for today?”

You glanced back at your computer, knowing Miriam really only showed up to get paid & gabber with the mom’s & dad’s that came in to pick up their children.

“There’s an assembly just before lunch, the usual ‘stay safe out there on Halloween night’ spiel followed by some games the teachers put together. And then during final hour the kids will be going from class to class as a precursor to their trick-or-treating.”

He nodded in response, “Sounds like a normal day.”

You smiled, “Pretty much.”

“Alright, well, I trust you two to hold down the fort out here while I make some calls.” He began walking towards his office before stopping in the doorway, “_____?”

“Yes?” You spun around in your chair to face him.

“Before the assembly, I’d like to speak with you.”

“O-okay.” You fumbled, your fingers clenching together.

“It’s nothing bad. Just something I wanted to run past you.”

“Of course.” You nodded sheepishly. Then he closed his door.

Turning back to your computer, you rolled your shoulders, having felt them stiffen at his proposal to talk one-on-one.

“Why is it they always say, ‘it’s nothing bad’, when it is indeed something bad?” You murmured out loud, not truly expecting an answer.

“Nick?” Miriam chuckled, “Boy couldn’t hurt a fly even if he tried. You’re not in trouble dear. If I had to guess…”

You rolled your eyes, recognizing that suggestive tone of your voice very well.

“Nick is finally going to put his big boy pants on & ask you on a date.”

You scoffed at that, facing her wide-eyed, “Miriam! He is not going to ask me on a date. He’s my boss!”

“Oh, pish, posh.” Miriam waved your dismissal away, “I met my husband working for him. It still happens.”

“No.” You chuckled, focusing on your computer as you read emails, “Not that. Besides, I already have a man in my life.”

“Your son, as cute as he is, doesn’t count.” Miriam told you bluntly.

“Yeah, yeah.” You waved her away before sarcastically responding, “Now, shut up. I have very important emails to get back to.”

Miriam left twenty minutes early for the assembly, leaving you to finish off your morning duties alone in the office. There was still five minutes to spare before the assembly started so you put your computer in sleep mode then stood up to head to Principle Bentley’s office.

Knocking gently, you waited until you heard the familiar sound of his voice, telling you to come in.

“_____!” He grinned, rising from his chair, “Please, take a seat.”

Despite what Miriam teased you about earlier, you still felt nervous. Though she was right about Principle Bentley being a good guy, you still felt like you had done something wrong.

“So, is this about my being late?” You questioned, your brows creasing.

“You were late?” He replied, clearly only hearing about it now.

“Oh…yeah.” You sighed, “I’m sorry about that. It won’t happen again, I prom—”

“_____, it’s okay. You’re not in trouble. Miriam bails on her duties all the time & have I spoken to her about it?”

“Well, no, but it’s Miriam. No one really wants to cross her.” You joked, trying to lighten the anxiety bubbling in your chest.

“Sure, sure.” He nodded in agreement, “Look, I don’t mind if you’re late. You could be two hours late & it’d be fine. I mean, what are you gonna miss, signing kids in & out? It’s fine, really.”

“Okay.” You felt yourself relax, “If you say so.”

“I do.” He chuckled.

“So, what is that you wanted to discuss?”

Principle Bentley sucked his teeth in awkwardly before finally leaning forward on his desk, his elbows resting there with his hands raised, “I know it’s a long shot, but I was wondering if you’d be interested in getting lunch together today.”

“Oh.” You felt your smile drop. Oh. Miriam had been right.

“No pressure, either!” He rushed out, “I know how weird it’s gotta be having your boss ask you out but I don’t know, figured I’d at least try.”

“Yeah.” You chuckled awkwardly before gathering your thoughts, “The offer is nice, Nick. But—”

“Nick?” He asked incredulously but was smiling nonetheless, “Using my name? I know what that means.”

He was letting you let him down easily & you were grateful towards him for it.

“But I’m going to have to decline.”

“I understand.” He nodded, never losing his boyish smile.

“Ya know, in a perfect world, I—” You stopped yourself, unsure if you really wanted to say what you were about to say, but the look on Nick’s face encouraged you to keep going.

“In a perfect world, I’d say yes.” You admitted. Nick was a good guy. He always took care of you & Miriam. Plus he enjoyed working with the kids & all parents sung his praises. Nick Bentley was a good guy, & he’d be an excellent father. Truly, that was something you wish you could have given Lou, a father, but with your past still terrorizing you in your sleep, it just wasn’t possible.

“And what is a perfect world?” Nick asked, his voice soft.

You sighed, biting your lower lip in thought. “I love being a mother. I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.”

For some odd reason, you were ready to tell someone your life story, or at least the nicer parts about it. Something indeed was in the air.

“But I had Lou when I was young, too young. I was nineteen. I wasn’t ready… & ya know, Lou’s father…” You inhaled sharply as those startling blue eyes of your ex flashed through your mind. “Let’s just say he wasn’t a good guy. I’m just not ready for another relationship. Or dating, even. I just want to focus on being a good mother to Lou.”

Nick eyed you with admiration in his eyes. He nodded in understanding, “Your son is very lucky to have you. I hope you know that.”

The praise made your heart falter with elation. Because you ran away from your hometown, & couldn’t risk your ex finding you, you were forced to cut off all communication with friends & family. No one had even met your son. Not your parents, not your best friend, no one. It was another aspect of your life that you were furious about. That Lou was forced to only call you family when he had so many more people out there who would love him just as much as you did. But to protect him most of all, you had to stay hidden. So, hearing those words from Nick made your heart swell.

“Thank you for saying that.” You replied almost inaudibly.

“Thank you for being transparent.” Nick responded in kind, “I can’t imagine it was easy to share.”

�� “No.” You chuckled openly, “It wasn’t. At all.”

“Well,” Nick stood from his chair, gesturing towards the door, “walk with me to the assembly?”

You laughed & clapped your hands as kids all over the gymnasium ran amok, your ghoulish son among them. After the usual ‘stay safe’ portion of the assembly, the kids were free to go around to booths the teachers had put together in the spirit of Halloween night. You took to the wall, your eyes following your son as he ran around with his friends, chasing one of the 3rd grade teachers dressed a ghost, playing a game they called ‘ghost hunters’.

Nick was in the midst of it all, getting tangled up with the kids as they either wrapped themselves around his legs or tried climbing his black. You hid your smile behind your hand as you watched on.

On the bleachers to your right was Miriam & a few other female staff members. They all appeared to be reacting in shock to something Miriam was saying. You were curious to what tea she was spilling so you found yourself joining them.

“Why the shocked faces?” You asked. One of the first grade teachers, Isabella, handed you a Styrofoam cup of hot apple cider. You accepted it gratefully.

“You haven’t heard?!” Sophia, one of the student teacher’s, turned to you in shock, “Someone broke into George Acosta’s barn last night & stole that ancient Chevy truck he’s been working on for ages.”

You frowned at that. You knew the truck well, everyone did. But only because it made these awful metal, grinding sound as it ambled down the roads throughout town. You could hear it from two blocks away most times as it backfired, alerting anyone in the vicinity that good old Mr. Acosta was out & about.

“I’m telling ya.” Isabella commented, “Whoever stole it has to be from out of town. No one is idiotic enough to steal from George. Remember when he threatened Sheriff Kaufman with a loaded shot gun just for pulling over a reckless driving teen on his property last year? Even the Sheriff was apologizing profusely to him.”

The women cackled amongst themselves but you weren’t laughing. The strange occurrence & Isabella’s theory about it being an out of towner made your stomach shift into knots.

It not him. It can’t be. Someone would’ve contacted you if he got wind of where you were. It was just a random crime, _____. It’s not him. You’re okay. Lou is okay. Calm down. Breathe. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Ex—

“_____? My god, are you alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Isabella placed a hand on your upper back in comfort.

You nodded shakily but stood up, “I’m alright. Just feeling sick all of a sudden.”

“You don’t look good, hon.” Miriam added, peering at you with concern.

“I’ll be fine.” You assured them, “I just need to use the restroom really quick.”

Everything was okay. It was just your paranoia, you knew that, but you couldn’t deny how ever since this morning you felt like something awful was coming. But you reminded yourself that it wouldn’t be the first time you felt that way & ended up realizing eventually that it was just your nerves & traumatic responses acting up.

“Nick.” You approached him as he assisted with the gym teacher in replacing a skeleton pinata with a pumpkin one.

“Hey!” He greeted jovially but frowned when he took in your state, “Whoa, you alright?”

“I’m not feeling well, all of a sudden. I don’t know what’s happening but—”

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” He clambered down the ladder he had been on to gently grip your upper arms, “What do you need?”

“I know I was late this morning but would it be alright if I went home for the day? I just, I don’t want to get the kids sick if it’s something contagious.”

You were lying through your teeth, something you had gotten really good at, but it was for the right reason.

“Yeah, of course, of course. Is there anything I can do?”

Your eyes searched out Lou as he gathered around one of the teachers dressed as a warlock, listening intently to a story he was reading from a book.

“Yes, but it’s too much to ask for.”

“Hey.” Nick smiled kindly at you, “There’s no such thing, what is it?”

“Would you mind bringing Lou home after school? Normally I’d take him with me but he’s having too much fun & I don’t want to ruin his day. Plus, I have no car to pick him up & I don’t want him walking home from school alone.”

“Of course, yeah, I can do that, it’ll be no problem.” He nodded.

It took a long time getting comfortable about Lou being alone with anyone who wasn’t you, but after living in the close-knit community as long as you did, you knew that Louie would be in safe hands with whomever you left him with.

“Thank you, seriously, thank you.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He stood up straight but remained watching you with concern, “What about you though? Do you need a ride home?”

“No.” You mustered a grateful smile, waving away his offer, “I’ll be okay. I just need to get home & take a cold shower or something.”

“Okay, yeah. Will you call me when you get there? Let me know you’re alive & what not.”

The two of you shared a laugh but you nodded, “Of course.”

“Alright. I’ll bring him back straight after school. You focus on feeling better.”

“Thank you, Nick.”

He gripped your shoulder in comfort before you parted from him to approach Louie. He was still listening to the warlock’s story when you appeared behind him.

“Hey, baby. Mommy’s not feeling well so I’m going home. Principle Bentley said he’d bring you home after school, okay?”

He spun around towards you, his youthful face frowning as he peered up at you, “Are you okay, Mommy?”

“Yeah, I’m okay, I just feel sick, that’s all.”

“Is it your dreams?”

“No.” You shook your head rapidly, cupping his cheek, “I just need to lie down for a while.”

“Okay.” He gave you that soft smile of his you adored so much.

“Mommy loves you.” You hugged him, kissing him three times on the crown of his head, “I’ll see you later, alright?”

“Bye, Mommy.”

“Bye, baby.”

After seeking out Lou’s teacher & asking her to walk him to the office at the end of the school day so Nick could drive him home, you were finally able to leave work. Fortunately, you only lived five blocks away, so you would be home in no time to get your head together. You hated lying to your coworkers, more so, your son, but you needed to get home to ensure that everything was still ready to go in case you & Lou had to run. Never in the five years that you had lived in your town had you ever had a nasty feeling like you did today. And although you knew it was likely just the eeriness of Halloween mixed with your paranoia, you chose to be safe rather than sorry.

But as you strolled home, your cardigan wrapped snugly around your front, you couldn’t help as your mind strayed to the past.

You were in love, maddeningly so. He was everything you could have dreamed of. And the way he looked at you always had you feeling like a schoolgirl with a silly crush. You could never have imagined that you would have found your prince. And that’s just what he was. He was your prince charming & you were his darling princess.

The two of you were inseparable. The honeymoon phase meant something new with the two of you. Your relationship was filled with laughter, friendship, trust, & most importantly, love. So much love. You never knew you could love anyone as deeply as you loved him, & you knew he felt the same.

And for the first year of your relationship it was pure bliss. Until it wasn’t.

Everything changed after you turned 18. You were ready to take your relationship to the next level. He had been ecstatic that you were ready to become intimate & finally have sex. It was how you knew he was one of the good ones, that he never pressured you or tried anything himself. He was respectful & kind & patient. Everything you dreamt about. But once you two did have sex, something changed in him. A darker energy you never knew he had emerged.

It started out small. He would become touchier. You had reasoned to yourself it was just because now that you two were having sex he was antsy for it all the time. But when the times came that you wouldn’t want, whether it was because you weren’t in the mood or weren’t feeling well, he would make snarky remarks under his breath. And then it shifted again.

He started to not want you going out with him, even if it was just to a friend’s house to watch a movie. He would text you the whole time, blow up your phone, leave you voicemails accusing you of not being where you said you were. Your friends pointed out to you that his behavior was problematic & that you should discuss it with. And so you did. Why wouldn’t you of? After all, you two had never had serious issues before. But you couldn’t have been more wrong.

The night you told him that he was beginning to make you feel suffocated would be a night you never forgot. He has lost his mind. You had never heard him yell before, let alone raise his voice, especially at you, but he had done it all that night. When he got to a point where you felt scared to be alone with him you had tried leaving but he wouldn’t have any that.

It was the first time he raped you. It wouldn’t be the last.

After the first time though, he had apologized profusely, swearing it would never happen again. He confessed to you that he was just scared of losing you & that you were giving him mixed signals lately. You didn’t understand that, knowing that in your own mind you were definitely not doing that, but he looked so scared, so terrified of losing you, that it had convinced you to stay with him.

You would live to regret it. His behavior didn’t change, it only got worse. But it eventually go to a point where you were practically chained to him. You stopped hanging out with your friends, quit coming out of your room to visit with your family, stopped posting about your life on social media. You became a scared little girl, & it was all because of him.

Then when you thought he couldn’t get worse, he proved you wrong.

The two of you had been attending a beach party. It was with his friends so you weren’t anticipating seeing any of your own, but one had been there. You had known Donovon your whole life, longer than any of your friends. Other than your closest girlfriend, Donovon was your next closest friend. So, when you saw him at that party, you were ecstatic to see a face you were forbidden to see.

It was your mistake putting Donovon in the devil’s path. Had you known what your boyfriend was capable of, you would have never taken him back. But that didn’t matter. When Donovon saw you, he snuck up behind you, capturing you by your waist & lifting you into the air. You had squealed in fear at first, genuinely scared due to your ex’s mental, emotional, & physical torment, but when you realized who it was, you only felt relief.

So, you hugged Donovon. Your oldest friend.

And it would be the last time you, that anyone did.

The devil had heard your screams of fear & came rushing forward furiously. You had no time to react or stop him as he tackled Donovon to the ground before beating him to a pulp. Donovon didn’t have a chance to defend himself as the devil knocked his head every which way. Others at the party managed to separate the two but the damage had been done.

Donovon was in the hospital for two weeks before his family took him off life support. Your boyfriend had murdered your oldest friend. And he got away with it, too. Witnesses at the party protected the devil, saying that Donovon had started it. That it was just a fight that got out of hand. No one knew that it would come to that. And most of all, your boyfriend’s father used his influence to ensure his son would never see a sentence. Not even for manslaughter.

Your boyfriend swore to you that he didn’t mean to lose it like he did but you saw that dark fury behind his eyes. He had. He had meant every single fist brought down onto your friend’s skull, & he would do it again.

You weren’t safe with him. That much you knew, but you didn’t know how to get away from him. At the time, you were preparing yourself to be one of the women you had seen in those domestic violence movies who couldn’t find their voice to tell anyone the truth. But that all changed when you took a pregnancy test & it came back positive.

That pink plus sign was all you needed to kick your flight instinct into gear. It took a couple weeks to get everything prepared, but you made it happen. They were the scariest weeks of your life because you were required to sneak behind the devil’s back to get the plan into place. After what he did to Donovon, it took little convincing from old friends & your parents to help you get out.

But you didn’t want them to get hurt in the process. So, once you had the funds, the drive, & a bus ticket out of town, you told all of those who helped you that you wouldn’t be in contact with them, too scared that if they knew where you were that your ex would do to them as he did to Donovon just to find out where you were. You couldn’t allow that, not again.

And so you ran, & you didn’t stop running until you reached the New England states. Throughout your relationship, you had revealed to your boyfriend many times how you dreamed of living in the Pacific Northwest. It would be the first place he looked for you. And he had the funds & means to do just that. So you went to the other end of the country, counting your days until he found you again.

The backfiring of a nearby engine shocked you out of your reverie. You blinked away your memories, realizing you were then only a block away from your house. The backfiring of a nearby engine sounded near the end of the street you were on & you froze, remembering what your coworkers at work had just told you about Georga Acosta.

You felt safe enough standing there on Main Street, surrounded by townsfolk as they went about their business, but you felt a chill roll up your spine. As if eyes were watching you. As if he was watching you.

Your flight instinct from long ago kicked in & you rushed into the nearest storefront. It was a Halloween store. The man behind the counter smiled politely at you as he continued helping a customer. You backed yourself up until you couldn’t be seen from the street but could still see the street yourself. As you did, the engine grew closer. You stood behind a shelf at the end of an aisle as you waited for Acosta’s truck to appear. For him to be behind the wheel.

But when the truck finally appeared, you felt a heavy weight lift from your shoulders. It was Chevy, much like Mr. Acosta’s, but not his. Instead, the truck that ambled down the street was filled to the brim with teenagers hooting & hollering as they wore Halloween masks, playing the iconic Halloween theme song on a boombox from the bed.

You fluttered your eyes closed, your hand on your chest.

“Miss, are you alright?”

Your eyes flew open at the nearby voice. It was the man behind the counter, the customer he had been helping gone.

“Yes, sorry.” You breathed out, a relieved smile on your face.

“Did you need to purchase something?” You could tell he was curious about you but didn’t push.

Your arm brushed against the shelves you had been hiding behind. On the display shelf was a witches hat. You quickly grabbed it.

“Just this.”

After paying, you felt safe enough to leave the store, now knowing your imagination was just that. Then you finished your walk home.

Someone was calling your name. It was like a whisper, close but far away at the same time. Your name was said again, over & over, & every single time it repeated it grew closer, louder. Until nothing. Then it was quiet.

Then a pair of lips touched your cheek.

You shot forward in bed, your face coated in sweat, your chest heaving. Your mouth & throat was dry. Holding your head in your hands, you focused on calming down your breathing. You touched your cheek where you had felt the kiss. It was warm to touch.

It was just a dream. You had fallen asleep, not meaning to, just wanting to lie down for five minutes but it seems your body had other plans. Once you gathered yourself, shaking away the nerves, you stood from your bed, your muscles aching. But as you did you halted immediately.

The door to your bedroom was open. Not all the way, just cracked open. You frowned. You were sure you had shut it. But ever since getting home, your mind had been a mess. All the anxiety & paranoia you were feeling was eating you away. You were losing it!

Brushing the concern for you door away, you exited your room, heading down to your kitchen. The clock on the stove read 2:32. School would have just gotten out, Nick would be here any moment with Louie. You chugged a glass of water & opened the fridge, peering inside to get a snack ready for Lou, though you imagined he would be bringing home plenty of candy from the trick-or-treat at school.

Just as you fingered a package of sliced ham, the doorbell rang. You felt your brows crease, checking the clock once more. 2:33.

They must have left school early. You thought mindlessly, knowing it was Nick with your son at the door.

Tossing the ham onto the counter, you rounded the kitchen to the front door. You unlatched the lock & swung it open.

“That was qui—” Your words died on your tongue.

There was no one. You frowned, stepping out onto your porch. Looking into your front yard & the neighbors, you saw no one in sight. Your street was quiet & bare of any life.

So, who rang the doorbell?

The question only left you reeling. Turning back to go inside, you stopped when something in the corner of your eye stole your attention. On the bottom step of the stairs leading to your porch was a few pumpkins you & Lou hard carved out together earlier that week. They appeared relatively normal except for one.

Warily descending the stairs, you gripped the banister when you finally realized what was wrong with the single pumpkin. The handle of a knife glinted under the autumn sun as it stuck out from the top of the pumpkin. You covered your mouth with your hand, whipping around to check your surroundings once more. There was no one in sight, not even Eugenia May—the town recluse—was peeking out from her window.

Your heart was hammering in your chest. You turned back to the pumpkin, kneeling down to inspect further. From what you could make out thanks to the cut-outs of the pumpkin, the knife was long, nearly piercing the other side.

Why would someone—

“Boo!”

A scream tore from your throat at the booming voice behind you.

Spinning around, you nearly toppled over before Nick managed to catch you by the elbow.

“What the fu—” Your son looked up at you with wide eyes, “—dge?!”

“Sorry.” Nick smiled uncomfortably, “It was your son’s idea.”

Your eyes danced between the two of them as your heart began to settle down. You hadn’t even heard the hum of an engine, let alone their footsteps as they came up the walkway.

“What are you doing outside, Mommy?” Louie asked, watching you curiously.

It was then that you remembered, too, why you were outside. You stepped in front of the pumpkin with the knife sticking out, grateful Lou had yet to see it.

“I was excited to you, baby.” You told him, ruffling his hair. He slapped your hands away playfully.

“Hey, why don’t you go inside & get a fruit snack, I’ll be in in a moment, I just need to talk to Principle Bentley.”

Louie charged forward. You smiled wryly, watching his small legs amble up the stairs & into the house.

“Sorry ‘bout that. Your kid is hard to say no to.” Nick apologized.

“No, that’s okay.” You waved it away, “I’m just relieved it was you & not someone else.”

“Who else would it be?” Nick asked, not realizing the dangerous ground he was treading.

“Maybe the person who stabbed my pumpkin.” You said, stepping out of the way to reveal the petty crime.

“Oh, shit.” Nick eyed the pumpkin on the bottom step, “Who’d you piss off?”

Of course you knew it was a joke but you didn’t laugh. In fact, it did the opposite. You frowned, staring at the deadly weapon.

“Oh, hey, I’m sorry, I was only kidding.” Nick reached for you but you stepped away.

“It’s—it’s fine. Forget about it.” Bending over, you snatched the knife by its handle before yanking it out. “Just me being fucking paranoid again.” You mumbled but Nick had heard you.

You were climbing back up to porch when he caught up to you, blocking the way to your door with a concerned look on his face, “_____, I’m sorry, truly I am.”

You stared at him, unsure of his words.

“Are you really thinking someone did this to you on purpose?”

His question unsettled you. You shifted from foot to foot as you avoided his eyes. You could feel your breathing begin to quicken, on the edge of hyperventilating.

“Hey, hey.” Nick closed the distance between the two of you, placing his hands on your shoulders gently, “Talk to me. If you’re really concerned then we should call someone about it.”

“No!” You rushed out, “No. It’s nothing. It’s just me being paranoid, it wouldn’t be the first time.”

You tried to go around him but Nick blocked you once more.

“I’ll get out of your way, I promise, but…I’ve never seen you like this before. This…scared. If something is happening, I want to help.”

“You can’t help.” You sighed defeatedly. You were just so tired, so tired of looking over your shoulder, of worrying about if & when he would find you. You just wanted to live a happy, normal life with your son.

“I can try.” Nick captured your eyes, “If you let me.”

As you stared back at him, seeing the genuine care for you, the same look you had seen once before in the last man you trusted, you felt yourself soften. Nick wasn’t him. Nick was a good person. Unlike your past, he wanted to help you. And so, for the first time in five years, you let someone in.

It was nearly 5’o’clock when Lou took off from the dinner table to go wash his hands. Nick helped you clear the table of dirty dishes. You thanked him for his help before placing the last of the dishes in the dishwasher.

“So, this ex of yours.” Nick began, “You think he’s found you?”

“I don’t know.” You shook your head, peering out a window over your kitchen sink, “I’ve been living in fear of him finding us for so long that anything remotely out of the ordinary makes me think it’s him.”

“Well, I can almost assure you that it’s not.” Nick kept his voice low as Lou entered the main room.

“Go ahead & watch some cartoons.” You told him, to which Lou very happily obliged. Once the TV sounded from the living room, you turned to Nick.

“How can you assure me that?”

After Nick made his claim to want to help you, you had told him everything. Everything. Not a detail spared. You weren’t explicit in reciting your history with your dreaded ex, but you detailed enough to get the point across.

“I called down to the station.” Nick revealed.

Your eyes widened, immediately questioning if you were wrong to trust him, but Nick raised his hand in reassurance, already predicting your reaction, “I didn’t give any names, I promise. I just asked if they had gotten any complaints about pumpkins or the like being vandalized. You know Brenden Brennen?”

You did. No one forgot an unfortunate name like that. He was a local teenager, known to be trouble.

“Apparently Brenden & some of his friends have been going around scaring people. Throwing poppers into driveways, jumping out of bushes, prank calling. I guess even Stephanie Romero’s garage got tagged with fake blood.”

You nodded, understanding where he was going with it all.

“It’s Halloween. It’s a spooky night. Kids are just getting up to no good, that’s all. Things are bound to go bump in the night.”

It did little relieve you but you accepted the likelihood that it was Brenden who stabbed your pumpkin.

“But what about Mr. Acosta’s truck? I mean, Isabella’s right. No one in town, not even Brenden Brennen, would be stupid enough to mess with him, let alone that truck he holds near & dear to his heart.”

Nick chuckled at that but shrugged, “Nothing so far as far as I know. But Mr. Acosta is getting up there. Way, waaaay up there. I hear his daughter complain every now & then that she swears he’s got Alzheimer’s, says he’s been losing track of things a lot lately.”

“A truck is quite a big thing to lose track of.” You muttered.

“Yeah, it is.” Nick nodded in agreement, “But think of it this way. From the sounds of it, your ex has money, & lots of it. If he were here, he wouldn’t be breaking into a barn to steal a beat-up old truck. He’d probably be driving through town in one of those nice sports cars that rarely come through here. And I say ‘rarely’ because folk like that stick out like a sore thumb. So, if he were here, someone would’ve noticed him by now.”

Everything he was saying was making sense, & you knew it to be true. You sighed, smiling, feeling like a fool.

“I just want it to end.” You admitted, your voice soft as you stared at Lou on the other end of the room, “I don’t want to live in fear for the rest of my life. I want Louie to have a normal childhood, not one that he looks back on wondering why his mom was always crying in her sleep or looking over her shoulder every day.”

“Hey.” Nick approached you, his hand on your lower back in comfort, “You have done so much for him. He knows how much you love him, he sees that. And he loves you, too. It may not be the childhood you want for him but it’s better than the one he could’ve had if you hadn’t run away, isn’t it?”

“Oh, god.” You marveled horrifically at the thought. You never thought too long, if ever, about what it would have been like raising Lou back home, with him always around.

“See?” Nick consoled you, “You’re giving him the childhood he deserves. As long as that kid there has you, he’ll be alright.”

You nodded, peering up Nick, “Thank you. For everything.”

He grinned sheepishly at that, shrugging, “I’m here for you, _____. For as long as you need me.”

It had been a long time since you felt like you found someone you could trust. You were happy Nick was the first.

Surprising even yourself, you raised onto your tiptoes & placed a kiss on his cheek. You watched as Nick blushed at the affection. When you pulled away, you two stared at one another before laughing lightly.

“Are you going to be my Dad, now?”

Both of you jumped apart as Lou stared at the two of you from the other side of the kitchen.

“What was that, buddy?” Nick played off your sons question as you tucked your smile into your teeth.

“No, baby, Principle Bentley was just helping Mommy.”

Lou made a questionable face but moved on, “When are we going trick-or-treating?”

“Oh, um.” You eyed the clock on the stove. It was nearly 6. “Any moment! Go get a jacket on & we’ll head out.”’

Lou began to run down the hallway before he stopped to stare at Nick, “Are you coming with us, Principle Bentley?”

“Oh, I, uh, we haven’t discussed—”

“Yes.” You answered for him, watching as Lou broke out into a smile in response, “Now go get a jacket, mister!”

Once Lou was out of sight, you turned towards Nick, “It’s probably not the date you had in mind but if you’d like, Lou & I would love to have you join us.”

Nick grinned that dimpled boyish grin of his, “Then I’d love to.”

Kids ran amok throughout the neighborhood as you & Nick walked side by side on the sidewalk, watching as Lou raced from house to house, filling his plastic pumpkin candy bowl to the brim. Every now & then, a candy or two would spill out as your son ran happily between yards.

Lou had wanted you to dress up but you had forgotten to actually get yourself a costume. So, the witches hat you had purchased earlier that day was all you had for a costume. It was enough to satisfy Lou, though the same couldn’t be said for Nick. You ended up having to use some of your own makeup to draw a clown look onto your boss’s face. He looked ridiculous, but you supposed that was fitting.

“He’s pretty great.” Nick commented, watching your son compliment another ghoul’s costume.

“Yeah, he is.” You felt pride.

“Ya know,” Nick began, his hands stuffed into his pockets, “I obviously don’t know anything about your ex except from what you’ve told me—which is all bad, bad stuff—but I hope you know that your son is yours. He’s not his. Even if he’s made up of half of him. Who he grows up to be, that’ll be all you.”

The thought warmed you. That was all you could really ask for.

The two of you watched as Lou ran down the stairs of another house before running up to you, practically slamming into your legs.

“Oof, careful, babe.” You giggled. Lou grinned up at you, holding out a piece of candy.

“Your favorite.” A Smartie was perched between his fingers.

You accepted the candy, smiling down at you son, “Thank you, Louie.”

Then he was off again, more candy spilling out behind him.

“He has his eyes.” You shared. Nick peered at you as you continued. “At first, that terrified me, ya know, when he grew into them. So much of his father there. So much of…”

You still couldn’t say his name.

“But you’re right.” You sniffled, the chilly autumn air beginning to make your nose run, “Louie will be nothing like him, even if he resembles him. He’ll be soft, gentle, kind, so full of life & wonder & happiness. All the things he is now. All the things his father isn’t.”

The three of you crossed the street once Lou finished up at the last house on the corner.

“You’re a really good mom, _____.” Nick commented, “Louie is in good hands, your hands.”

“Yeah.” You nodded, sharing a smile with him, though his smile appeared wider thanks to the red lipstick stretched across his lips & cheeks. You giggled openly, unable to take him seriously.

“What?” Nick widened his eyes in feigned offense, “It’s not my fault you don’t know how to draw a decent clown face.”

As you two laughed amongst yourselves, someone suddenly shouldered you, practically taking you off your feet.

“Hey, watch it!” Nick caught you as you stumbled into a neighbor’s yard.

You followed his line of sight, staring at the back of what you assumed to be a grown man as he stalked down the sidewalk, his hood pulled over his head. Nick grumbled in annoyance as he pulled you upright but you only remained staring after the man. But he never looked back & before you knew it, he had turned a corner & disappeared from sight.

“What is it?” Nick asked.

“N-nothing.” You faked a smile, shaking your head as you turned your attention back to him.

“Prick should watch where he’s going. Had we been one of these kids we’d’ve been flattened.”

Nick continued walking down the sidewalk, following behind as Lou continued his night of trick-or-treating. You looked over your shoulder once more & were startled by what you saw.

At the end of the block, where the man had disappeared off to, there he stood. At least, you assumed it was the same man, standing eerily still just staring at you. But you weren’t sure if it was you he was staring at. He was wearing a mask resembling a hockey mask, his face completely covered. There was no way to tell just exactly where he was looking but you felt it… you felt his eyes staring right back into your own.

“_____!” Nick hollered your name. You spun back around, realizing they had moved a couple houses down, “Coming?”

Looking back to the man, you were disheartened to find him gone, the corner barren of anyone taller than five feet.

Frowning, you caught up to Nick.

“Everything okay?”

You weren’t sure, but you reminded yourself of everything Nick had said earlier. If he was here, you would’ve known by now. And like he also said, it was Halloween, there was bound to be scares in the night.

Lou was slouched against Nick’s chest as he carried him back to your house. He was already half-way asleep, the excitement & running around having finally caught up to him. You carried his pumpkin basket full of candy, leading the way back. Once you reached the steps leading up the pathway to your porch, you peered up at you house, ensuring that nothing looked amiss.

“He’s gonna have one hell of a candy hangover.” Nick joked softly.

You smiled back him, “Thank you again for carrying him all this way.”

“It’s no problem.” He assured you, carrying your nearly asleep son up the stairs to your porch. You unlocked the door to your house, swinging it open so Nick could bring Louie inside.

“Where’s his bedroom?” Nick whispered. You pointed to your hallway, “Last door on the left.”

Locking the door behind you, you placed your keys & Louie’s basket of candy onto a counter in the kitchen before trailing down the hallway to his room. Inside, you found Nick gently tucking your son into bed. He was well asleep at that point. You smiled elatedly at the sight. It was a sight you had never seen before: a grown man putting your Lou to bed. It brought you more comfort than you thought possible.

Nick tiptoed out of the room & you pulled Lou’s door closed until only a crack was left.

Following Nick back into the main room, you grinned up at him, “You’re my hero.”

“Oh?” Nick raised a single brow, “Why’s that?”

“He adores you.” You nodded, “I remember after his first day of school he talked about how the principle came to his class to play games with the kids & get to know them. Of course, he doesn’t understand yet that you’re my boss, so he spoke about you like I had never met you before. You’ve made an impression on him ever since.”

“I could say the same thing about him.” Nick returned.

“Thank you again, for everything.”

Nick approached you, smiling down at you, “This better mean you’ll stop referring to me as Principle Bentley at work.”

You rolled your eyes playfully at that, “We’ll see.”

He narrowed his eyes at you suspiciously but chuckled nonetheless, “Well, I better get outta your hair, let you get some rest.”

You nodded, seeing him to the door. When you unlocked it, Nick stepped out, but before either of you could verbalize a parting, he turned back to you, “And thanks for the date. I enjoyed it.”

“Me, too.” You admitted, unable to hide your smile.

Then Nick crossed back to you, leaning down slightly to kiss your cheek, returning your affection from earlier, “I’ll see you Monday.”

“See you.”

Closing the door as he descended your stairs, you relocked the door before finally kicking your shoes off. It had been a long day. You were looking forward to winding down in bed with your recent Kindle purchase before dozing off. Turning off the lights in the front room, you grabbed a couple pieces of candy from Lou’s basket before retreating to your room, sure to leave the door cracked this time now that Lou was home. Unlike when you closed the door for your nap earlier, you never kept your door closed as Lou slept, always wanting to hear if any sounds came from his room.

Getting undressed & into pj’s, you slipped under the covers of your bed, pulling your Kindle out from your nightstand. Settling against your pillow, you began reading the text but it wasn’t long before you felt your eyelids begin to droop. Then, before you knew it, you slipped into slumber.

A floorboard creaking somewhere in your house woke you with a start. It was dark in your bedroom as you wiped the sleep from your eyes. You moaned at your stiff muscles, having fallen asleep in an uncomfortable position for your neck. Your eyes flashed to your nightstand. The clock flashed 2:24 a.m.

Your mouth was dry again, & you had forgotten to bring a glass of water to bed. Slipping out of bed, you exited your room. You stopped in the hallway to peek into Louie’s room. He slept soundlessly still in his bed. Closing his door most of the way once more, you trailed quietly down your hallway to the kitchen.

Once in the kitchen, you approached the cabinets by the sink. You had pulled one open, preparing to reach for a glass, but a sight outside the window above your sink caught your eye. And when you realized what you were looking at, your breath caught in your throat. Nick’s car. It was still parked out front. But more horrifying than that was what lied just beyond it. Across the street, parked in front of your neighbor’s house, was Mr. Acosta’s beloved Chevy.

Before you had time to react, a hand fisting itself in your hair yanked you backwards. A scream about ripped from your throat, but a gloved hand quickly clamped over your mouth before it could.

Panicked tears erupted from your eyes as you felt yourself being dragged backwards, the soles of your slippers failing to catch themselves on the hardwood. You struggled against the strong grasp of the arm that was wrapped around your middle as they yanked you back down the hallway towards your bedroom.

You didn’t need to see them to know who it was. All day, your paranoia had been trying to warn you but you didn’t listen, & then when you did start to listen to it, Nick had reasoned it out of you.

The force threw you onto your bed & you bounced haphazardly atop it before the room flooded with light.

All of the nightmares you had had in the last five years were occurring before your very eyes. And the man that caused them was glaring at you through the slits of a hockey mask. The same eyes your son had.

“Boo.” If the eyes of your ex wasn’t enough of a give away as to who wore the spooky mask, the hollowed out voice behind it was.

He was here.

Rafe had found you.

It took all off your strength & will to not scream in that very instance. Lou was sleeping safe & sound less than twenty feet away from you, totally unaware of the dangers in his home, you wanted it to remain that way. But damn it all to hell if you didn’t fear for your life at that very second.

Fear racked your body & panic ensnared your heart as Rafe Cameron, the ex you had ran out on with his unborn child in your tummy, stood before you.

Tense silence filled the room, save for the sound of your shuddering breaths. Tears blurred your vision as you stared wide-eyed in horror.

Rafe was breathing heavily, his chest moving almost in perfect time with your own. Your eyes fell to his hand, the glint of a familiar looking knife catching in the light.

He had been here all along. From the beginning. The cat store, Mr. Acosta’s truck, Lou’s stabbed pumpkin, & the man in the mask who stared at you on the street. All of it Rafe. All of it your past finally catching up to you.

“Rafe…” You shakily cried.

He cocked his head, the mask only adding more fuel to your nightmare. And though the mask kept his face hidden, you knew well enough that the man behind the mask was carrying a face full of fury. It was a face you never forgot.

He raised a single gloved finger then, wiggling it slowly at you. Then he brought that same finger to the mouth of the mask. Shh, he was telling you.

Tears burst from your eyes as you bit your lip to keep from whimpering out loud.

Don’t make him angry, do as he says. Lou is depending on you.

But images of Lou sleeping in his bed just down the hallway flooded your mind. Rafe was blocking the door. You wouldn’t have a chance to slip by him & race down there, & even if you did, you’d lead him right to your son. If you did that, there was no saying what he would do next, but you knew Rafe Cameron was capable of deadly things, & you were determined to keep your son ignorant to that.

It took every amount of restraint you could muster up not to run for your son, to shield him from the devil that snuck into your home. You kept a baseball bat hidden beneath your pillows. It had always been there, & only on rare occasions in the past did you feel the need to bring it out when something went bump in the night. But those bumps always turned out to be nothing. This wasn’t nothing. It was time to really use it.

Rafe only remained standing before you, his tall & solid frame filling the space of your room like a sleep paralysis dream. Though he wore a thick jacket to keep warm, you could see that he had grown over the years. He had always been tall, towering over you, but he was slender as well. Not anymore, though. It was obvious that he had gotten into the habit of working, adding muscles to his already destructive strength.

Swallowing the scream that desperately wanted to erupt from you, you kept your voice hush as you spoke, needing to distract him with your words as you very slowly, very subtly inched your fingers towards your pillows.

“What are you doing here?” It was a stupid question, you, especially as well as he, both knew why he was there. But you didn’t care. Just keep his mind distracted.

But he said nothing, just shook his head once.

You breathed heavily & sharply, your fingers managing to have slid under your pillow without drawing his attention, desperately seeking out the cool, metal touch of the bat.

“You shouldn’t have come here.” Your voice shook as you spoke, “You should’ve let me go.”

But Rafe exhaled heavily at that.

A relieved, quiet gasp parted your lips when your fingers finally found the bat, fiercely gripping the handle of the weapon.

Dropping your eyes to the open door behind him, you frowned, “Lou?”

Rafe turned around at that, expecting to see your son standing in the doorway, but it was only a fake-out.

Gritting your teeth, you yanked the baseball bat & raised it above you, quickly rushing to your feet to stand atop your bed.

You let out a war cry as you swung the bat downwards, aiming straight for Rafe’s skull. But he spun around in time to duck. The full weight of your swing made you stumble & one of your feet slipped off the bed. You clambered harshly to the wooden floor, your grip on the bat still tight, but Rafe snatched you by the back of your neck, ripping you upwards. You blindly swung the bat a second time but you felt a force catch the other end before tearing it from your grasp.

“No!” You cried out as Rafe threw against your dresser, a picture of you & Lou toppling over in the impact.

You threw yourself back, crab-crawling backwards as Rafe marched towards you, now your bat in one hand, his knife in the other.

“Rafe, don’t!” You screeched once you felt the wall against your back. But he only continued moving towards you. As he did, he tucked his knife away & raised the bat.

Fear choked you as you watched your own weapon of defense prepared to be used on you. You raised your arms, readying yourself to protect your face & head from the blow. Your eyes were squeezed shut, waiting for the whisper of air as the bat swung before reaching you…but it never came.

Breathing fearfully, you fluttered your eyes open.

The room was empty. Rafe was nowhere in sight.

“Lou.” Your voice shook with the realization.

You threw yourself forward onto your feet, getting ready to race after Rafe, but just before you reached the doorway, Rafe appeared again filling the space with his large frame. But he wasn’t alone.

To your horror, he had another before him, on their knees.

Duct tape was wrapped securely around Nick’s face, his mouth & most of his nose covered to suppress his grunts. His forehead was swollen & bleeding, evident of him having been attacked by a deadly force. Nick was unable to fight back, as his hands too were securely taped before him.

A shocked gasp left you as you backed up, taking in the nightmarish sight.

Rafe entered the room, pushing Nick forward until he fell face-down onto your floor. Nick groaned on impact before struggling to roll himself over onto his back. It was then that you noticed his legs were taped at the ankle.

Fresh tears breached your eyes as you peered at one of your only friends in the neighborhood. You made to move closer, to shield Nick from Rafe but as you did, you felt the cool touch of your bat catch the underside of your chin. Your eyes trailed the length of it until it led you to Rafe’s hand & arm, thus his face.

He shook his head once.

Shaking, you backed away as Rafe stepped closer.

Nick, the whole time, trying to speak but his words were unable to be made out behind the tape. His flashing between you & your ex with a mixture of fear & anger.

“Don’t hurt him.” You begged, “He has nothing to do with this. Please, just let him go, I’ll do whatever you ask.”

Rafe sighed at that, his head cocking at your plea.

“Please, Rafe.” You whimpered, snot running from your nose, “I’ll do anything.”

His silence only added to your terror. He wanted you to suffer.

“You’ll watch.” Was all he said. And before you could absorb what he had said, Rafe moved to stand over Nick & raised the bat.

“No!” But your scream died in your throat as Rafe brought the bat down on Nick’s skull.

Cries & choked sobs erupted from you as you watched on in horror as Rafe repeatedly bashed Nick’s face & skull in. You were forced to look away when blood spurted across your face & chest as Nick quickly became unrecognizable.

You covered your mouth as hot tears fell from your eyes & over your hands. Your room was filled with the gruesome sounds of the bat repeatedly making impact with what was once Nick. Squelching of brain matter & the crushing of bones filled your years & you felt bile rise in your throat. A pool of blood threatened to cake the soles of your feet as it grew bigger, forcing you to pull your knees to your chest.

The ghastly sounds stopped after another minute & by then you were numb to everything that was happening. Your body still shook, your mouth hung open in a silent scream, but you were no longer crying. Just staring dizzily at your headboard.

A metallic thud sounded & your eyes betrayed you as you sought the sound out. Your bat rolled towards you, all of it covered in a deep, thick red color, chunks of brain, flesh, & bone texturizing it.

A gag forced it’s way from your mouth & you crawled away from the monstrous sight, unable to look at what Rafe had done. But as you did, you felt Rafe eyeing you from the opposite side of your room. Before you could react, Rafe climbed on top of your, ensnaring you by the back of your head as he dragged you back over the bed. You thought he would’ve stopped there, but your horrors were only reignited when you dropped to the floor & were dragged into the hallway. Towards Louie’s room.

“No!” You yelped but Rafe quickly swung you around to his front, covering your mouth. You smelled the scent of blood on his glove as he kept you quiet, knowing good & well that Nick’s blood was now caking your face.

You fought against Rafe as he yanked you closer to your sons room, terrified that he would do to him what he had just done to Nick. At this point, you didn’t care if Louie woke up, if he woke to the sight & sound of you crying & screaming & fighting against the man from your dreams, thus shattering his childhood. You just needed him to run. Run as far as he could as you once did.

Once in the room, Rafe forced you to face your sleeping son, none the wiser to the danger approaching. You whimpered & thrashed against Rafe, trying every which way to elbow him or knock your head back into his but his strength greatly outmatched yours. It always had.

Rafe paused in the center of the room, crushing your back against your front as he secured you around the waist. He removed his hand from your mouth, but before you could scream a blood-curdling cry to alert your son, Rafe had swiftly produced the knife he carried & pressed the briny edge of it to your throat.

The plastic of the mask moved against your ear, “Don’t scream. Or he’ll scream.”

The threat was apparent. Your horrors were coming true. Everything you had fought for for so long were crumbling around you.

“Don’t.” You gasped, desperately reaching to cling to Rafe’s arm.

Your plea only forced the Rafe to press the knife harsher against your throat. Even you could feel your heartbeat pulsing against it. One swipe & Rafe would end your life before surely ending that of your sons. In a last ditch effort to save your sons life, you revealed the truth that Rafe needed to know.

“He’s your son.” Sobs racked your body as the words parted your lips. “Our son.”

Rafe stiffened behind you.

“Are you going to tell him?” Your mother asked you as she helped you pack one of your go-bags for the great escape.

“No.” You responded despondently, “If he knows I’m on the run with his unborn kid, he’ll stop at nothing, he’ll hurt anyone I love just to get to me.” You knew good & well that he would still do that, but he wouldn’t be in as such a rush otherwise.

Your mother nodded in understanding. But her hands shook fearfully as she folded your clothes before handing them to you.

“Are you going to go through with the pregnancy?” It was a question you asked yourself every day. “I love you, baby, I only want you safe. A kid will slow you down.”

“I know.” You muttered in agreement, “I haven’t decided yet. I just need to get away first before I do anything.”

“You’d deliver the baby alone.” She commented. Another thought that kept you awake at night. “We wouldn’t be there to hold your hand.”

You nodded, tears threatening to fall. Though you were still on the fence about whether or not you’d fulfill the pregnancy, you were leaning towards terminating it. Being on the run was no life for a child. And, your mother was right, the kid would only slow you down if Rafe ever caught up to you.

Your mother’s quiet sobs drew your attention. She had a hand over her mouth in an attempt to hide her cries.

“I’m so sorry, baby.” She peered at you through her tears, “We never wanted this life for you.”

You hugged your mother, & she you. Tightly, lovingly. You burrowed your face into her neck, savoring the form of affection. You didn’t know how long it would be until you ever felt it again, if ever.

“There’s always adoption.”

Rafe had tucked the knife away, but kept you quiet by grasping the column of your throat, your air restricted. He continued holding you just like that as he slowly approached your son, his son. He stood just beside Louie’s bed, his knees pressed against the bedframe as he leaned over to peer at the child’s serene, sleeping face.

You felt as Rafe shuddered before you, his arm outstretched with you on the other end as he kept you at distance from your son.

“My son…” Rafe’s voice was filled with wonder.

Tears continued to fall from your eyes, dripping onto Rafe’s wrist where the skin was exposed between the glove & sleeve of his jacket.

“Our son.” He whispered, but as he did, the grip on your throat tightened. Black dots filled your vision. Rafe turned away from Lou then, facing you head on, his eyes blazing behind the mask.

You kept him from me.

His fury was palpable. You tried to breathe, to speak, but Rafe only continued to claw his fingers into your throat.

Then he began to back you out of the room fast. Your were unable to catch your grounding as your feet tangled beneath you. Before you knew it, you were back in the hallway, your back pressed harshly against a wall as Rafe used the wall to lift you off the floor, your toes wiggling.

You latched your hands onto his arm, using every bit of strength you had left to try & fight him off.

Rafe glared at you hard through the slits of his mask, his eyes red, watering, filled with betrayal, contempt, & murderous intent.

“We could have been a family.” Rafe breathed out harshly, his grip tightening more than you thought possible. Your vision swayed.

“You took that from me.” Rafe spit from behind the mask.

“Plea—” You choked, the lining of your vision beginning to darken. Your muscles were loosening. Death awaited you. But Lou needed you.

Then Rafe brought his other hand to your throat & squeezed. You thrashed weakly until you felt your consciousness begin to slip. Rafe’s hands around your neck were the last thing you felt before you stopped fighting, your body going limp.

“He’s my family now.”

A cry tore from your throat as doctors & nurses alike rushed around you. A stinging, hot pain shot up your spine as you felt your insides contort & cramp within you. Your legs were splayed open, blood staining the white sheets that kept you from seeing what happening down below.

“She’s losing blood!” A voice yelled.

“Get the baby out!” Another responded.

“We’re gonna lose both!”

Tears erupted from your eyes, blurring your vision as you clung to the sheets of the hospital bed, your throat raw from screaming.

Another pinch & you screamed again, sweat coating your face.

And then cries filled the room, Lively cries of a baby having been born. You collapsed against the mattress, your body weak.

“Baby’s out, we got him, he’s okay!”

You felt your vision go in & out, but you reached your hand out blindly in search of your child.

“It’s a boy.” A soft voice neared you. Cries continued to fill the room, but they grew closer to you.

“It’s your boy.” A nurse appeared in your vision as it swayed.

In her arms, she held something small as it wriggled about in her arms. A single hand stuck out in search of something.

Then your fingers touched, & the small yet mighty grip of the child clung to your index finger.

A weak smile crossed your lips, “Louie.”

But your hand fell as you felt your heart rate slow.

“We’re losing her!”

“Louie.” You whispered, his name like a dream on your tongue.

A gasp choked you awake & you shot forward. Tears coated your cheeks & you were breathing heavily. You winced at the burning, raw sensation within your throat.

The room, your room, was filled with morning sunlight. Your eyes flashed fearfully around the room. You were still in your home.

Lou!

Launching yourself forward, you halted to peer at the floor near the foot of your bed. It was empty. No body, no blood, no bat.

You frowned. It wasn’t a dream, though. You touched your fingers to your neck, the skin tender as you did.

He had been here, he had!

Racing out of your room, you stumbled down the hallway to your son’s room, “Louie!” You screeched, despite the pain it caused you as you did, your throat burning in response.

But your fears were instilled as you charged into your son’s room to find his bed empty.

“Louie, baby!” You cried, retreating from his room & tumbling down the hallway, “Baby, where are you?!”

At the mouth of the hallway, you halted, eyeing your son at the counter bar. His back was to you as he ate pieces of candy from his pumpkin basket.

“Louie!” You released a relieved cry & approached him. But before you could reach him, another figure appeared in the corner of your eye.

Rafe rested against a counter opposite your son, a mug of coffee in his hands. He was barren of any mask or clothes from the night prior. He grinned wryly at you, challenging you to attempt anything.

You eyed him warily, furiously as you continued moving slowly towards your son.

Lou looked back at you then, a chocolatey smile gracing his youthful features.

“Morning, Mommy!” He greeted in his cheerful tune.

Dropping your gaze from Rafe, you peered at your son. Closing the distance, you hugged him to your chest, crying into his hair as you kissed him repeatedly.

“Don’t be mad. Daddy said I could have candy for breakfast.”

You shook against your son as you raised your eyes to that of your ex’s.

“That’s right.” Rafe smirked, crossing the kitchen to where the two of you were. You pressed Lou closer against you, your hands gripping him tightly, ready to shield him from Rafe.

“And you can have it for lunch & dinner & dessert.” Rafe grinned down at your son, his son.

“What the fuck do you want?” You sneered, uncaring if Lou heard the fear in your voice.

Rafe eyed you then, “What we all should want.”

He peered at your son then, “To be a family.”

The thought unnerved you.

“If you don’t get out of my house, I’ll—”

“Careful.” Rafe cut you off firmly, before casting his eyes to an object on the counter only inches away from his fingers. The knife.

“Sorry, buddy. Mommy had a bad night.”

You felt as Louie stared up at you then, “Was it the bad man from your dreams again?”

Rafe’s eyes stared coldly into your own.

“Yes, baby.” You replied, your voice shaky.

“But you’re okay now.” Louie attempting to soothe you as he fingered your hair, “Daddy is here to protect you.”

His innocence, still intact as grateful as you were, only made you fearful of when Rafe would surely snuff it out.

“That’s right, Louie.” Rafe peered between the two of you, “Daddy’s home, & we have a lot of catching up to do.”

this is 7/10 requests from my 500 followers celebration request opening!

fuck. that's all i have to say.

big thank you to @namelesslosers for making this fucking AWESOME request, i hope you enjoy it as much as i did writing it, please be sure to share your thoughts w me.

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joelscruff · 1 year

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one thing i'm missing (joel miller x reader) PART FOUR

okay wow, so since the last chapter i've somehow hit 200 followers and have received so much lovely praise for this fic ;-; you guys have no idea how much i appreciate it. life has not been going great for me lately and having this outlet + such a great response has been such a bright light for me. i can't thank you all enough. i'm estimating that this fic will probably end up being six parts total, so look forward to those! i'm also open to writing requests & suggestions for other fics so feel free to send me an ask anytime! without further ado, here's part four :) PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | ao3 summary: you and joel accidentally end up falling asleep together, and what follows is the beginning of a quiet and tender relationship neither of you saw coming. rating: 18+ explicit (mdni) warnings: (for this chapter) smut, age difference (reader is in her mid 20s and joel in his mid 50s), praise kink, (slight) dirty talk, grinding, handjobs, fingering word count: about 6.5k (yup)

You awoke in the early hours of the morning and slowly opened your eyes, hints of sunrise trickling through the cabin window and illuminating the dust that danced around the room. It took a few seconds to reconnect yourself to the new location, your gaze shifting to the chair in the corner of the room that still held yours and Joel's coats. Your lips parted in a breathless realization, the memory of last night flooding into your mind.

“I've got you,” he'd murmured, “Keep goin', don't think about it.”

You stared at the coats, heart racing as you remembered the way he'd held you so close to him while you came completely undone, helped you rut against him until you got what you needed, til he gave you what you needed. The way he'd groaned in your ear when you brushed against his groin, whispered “good girl” to you like it was a secret.

You swallowed, feeling the familiar throb in your underwear, recalling the thick strength of his thigh between your legs...

A rustle of movement behind you brought you back to the current moment, and you finally registered that Joel was still in bed with you, spooning you from behind again, arms wound comfortably around your torso. You couldn't help but smile and without any hesitation you shuffled back further into his embrace, tilting your head back slightly so he was nosing your hair.

You heard him hum softly, arms tightening around you. You looked down and felt your skin get hot when you saw how large his hands were, one placed atop your belly while the other had snaked its way up to your sternum, almost between your breasts. He was so strong but he held you so tenderly, forearms freckled with nicks and cuts that made your heart ache; you wanted to kiss every single one.

“You awake?” you whispered, not too loud in case he was still sleeping.

He gave you an affirming grunt but didn't actually say anything, the tip of his nose tickling the back of your neck. You shivered and leaned back even further so his body was fully enveloping yours, savouring the moments before he was fully awake and would inevitably pull himself away from you. You felt something prod at your lower back and you froze, breath hitching.

Guiltily you remembered falling asleep ridiculously quickly the night before without helping him find his own release, meaning he must have fallen asleep absolutely aching. You'd felt how hard he was while you were on top of him; it must have been torture for him to watch you have the best orgasm of your life and then pass out without so much as a thank you. That torture was seemingly still ongoing, the shape of him firm and stiff against the swell of your ass.

Well, it wasn't too late to thank him now.

Hesitating for barely a moment, you began to rotate your hips, slow and steady, pushing back against the hard feeling of him through his jeans. You felt his arms suddenly stiffen around you, brow furrowing against the back of your neck.

“What are you doin'?” he murmured.

“Nothing,” you pushed back even further, feeling the unmistakable pulse of arousal in your own jeans at the sound of his voice.

He was definitely fully awake now, and as he went to move his arms you reached up to hold them back in place, hands atop his own.

“You don't have to-”

“Shhh,” you ground yourself against him a bit harder and you felt him gasp, breath warm against your skin, “I want to.”

It didn't take much for him to surrender completely to the feeling of you being so close to him, inhaling and exhaling unevenly in your ear as you continued to rub your ass against his groin. Your hands loosened on top of his and he took the opportunity to move the one that was on your belly and carefully slide it inside the confines of your shirt, palming the skin there. You whimpered at the contact, grinding yourself even harder against him.

The silence of the cabin, the stillness of the air outside in the early morning light, it gave you that peculiar feeling of being somehow present in the world but also not. It was so easy to pretend when you were alone with him, so easy to feel like you were both the only souls to exist on this post-apocalyptic plane of America, of planet Earth. The only sounds in the entire world were the hitches of breath, the soft whispers, the quiet moans and whimpers that the two of you made together, melting into one.

“Feels so good,” he whispered breathlessly in your ear, nuzzling his face against your cheek. Without needing to ask, you reached blindly behind you for his belt buckle, pulling at the cold square of metal.

“Take this off,” you breathed, stilling your hips momentarily, and he removed his hand from your sternum to reach down and start to undo it, brushing against your fingers with every motion. When he'd pulled the leather from the straps you helped him to yank the long strip of material out from underneath the both of you, tossing it to the floor. You felt him pop the button on his jeans and your hand began to shake on it's own accord as you reached for his zipper.

He stopped you, enveloping your hand in his before you could tug it down, “You sure?” he asked softly, “We can stop-”

You suddenly flipped over so you were facing him, and your heart stuttered when you saw the look on his face; he was wrecked, eyes dark and blown wide, forehead tinged with sweat, splotches of red blooming along his neck and collarbone. It had been so dark last night, you hadn't been able to see what Joel looked like when he was turned on. Now as you looked at him and saw the desire in his eyes, the bob of his Adam's apple as he gazed back at you and swallowed, the way his chest rose and fell with every heavy breath, you felt any and all hesitation leave your body. You gripped his zipper with your thumb and forefinger and slowly began to pull it down, the room still quiet save for the sharp sound of metal coming undone in your fingers – it was practically pornographic. He kept his eyes on you, lips parted as he tried to get his breathing under control.

His underwear became exposed, framing the long and thick curve of him perfectly. You heard his breath hitch when your knuckles brushed lightly against him as you finished with the zipper, and your eyes snapped back up to find his again. He was still staring at you, watching your expression, gauging your reaction. Without breaking eye contact you moved your hand up to cup him gently, palming his girth and feeling your face get hot when you realized your fingers wouldn't even go all the way around him.

“Oh wow,” you whispered, voice squeaking a little bit as you stroked him once through his underwear, “You're big.”

He groaned in response, closing his eyes finally and throwing his head back against the pillows. You couldn't help but laugh breathlessly, fingers trembling a little bit in anticipation, “Can I take it out?”

He physically shuddered at your words, jaw tightening as he brought his hands up to his face. He pressed his palms against his eyes, inhaling deeply, “Yeah,” he replied, voice shaky, “But I won't last long.”

“That's okay,” you whispered, reaching for the band of his underwear.

BANG.

Your heads snapped up immediately, both of you freezing as you stared at the closed bedroom door in confusion.

“Joel, you in this one?” Ellie called out from the opposite side.

You both flung yourselves away from each other like you'd been electrocuted, toppling out of the bed like you were in a Saturday morning cartoon. Joel yanked the zipper of his jeans back up and you threw him his belt, then pulled yourself up from the floor to stand wordlessly across from him. You both stared at each other for a few seconds as he did himself back up, eyes wide in panic.

“Joel?” Ellie called again, followed by your name, “Anybody in here?”

“Gimme a sec,” he replied loudly, voice deep and rough, “Gettin' dressed. You alright?”

“Yeah, just wanna go to the springs. I'll wait outside,” she called back, and you heard the front door slam again.

You looked at each other, both still panic-stricken. After a few seconds of shocked silence you reached down and grabbed your pack, throwing it over your shoulder, “You go out front and lead her back toward her cabin, I'll sneak into the one next door.”

“That works” he replied breathlessly, eyes scanning you up and down, “Listen, I'm sorr-”

“No, I'm sorry, I didn't think she'd be up yet,” you tossed him his coat and gestured toward the bedroom door, “Now go, before she gets suspicious.”

With one last parting glance, Joel shrugged his coat on and turned on his heel to leave, shutting the bedroom door behind him and leaving you standing alone. It was only when he was gone that you fully allowed yourself to feel the weight of what you'd almost just done, your hand clenching around nothing as you stood in the centre of the room trying to catch your breath. You'd touched him; you'd basically asked if you could give him a hand job and he'd said yes.

There was no question anymore of whether or not he wanted you, that was for sure. But whether you'd talk about it or he'd broach the subject again was completely up in the air. This thing you shared – whatever it was – you hadn't spoken one word about it to each other. He wanted you, sure, but in what way? Did he just want you to touch him, for you to get him off like he got you off? Or did he feel something deeper for you, something strong and warm like you felt for him? How were you even supposed to figure out what exactly he wanted when you hadn't even had one conversation about what had been going on? You clenched your jaw, shaking your head and inhaling the stale, dusty air; you didn't have time to think about this right now, you had to get yourself into the next cabin without Ellie noticing. The last thing you needed was for her to start asking questions about a relationship you yourself couldn't even define.

You did your best to quietly leave the cabin, slipping stealthily into the one next door when you were sure Joel had led Ellie back up the path. A few minutes later you walked out onto the front porch with heavy footfalls that made them both turn to look, yawning loudly on purpose and waving in their direction.

“Morning, losers!” you called, “Let's go see some hot springs!”

It turned out that in her excitement for the springs Ellie had woken up much earlier than the two of you, which explained her sudden appearance this morning. Out of boredom she'd meticulously organized all the products you'd found the previous day into piles, resulting in each of you now carrying your own personalized bath-care bag as you set out for the springs. You rummaged through yours, smiling at the strawberry scented shampoo and conditioner she'd chosen for you; you'd told her once, maybe about three months back, that you loved strawberries. The fact that she'd remembered made your heart warm. She'd also packed you an unopened women's razor and toothbrush, along with some body wash and a towel.

“You trying to tell me something?” you teased, waving the razor in her face as the three of you walked down the overgrown path to the springs.

She laughed and reached into her own bag, pulling out an identical razor, “Just that I need you to show me how to use this thing. My pits are itchy as fuck.”

Joel chuckled at that, “Try having five times that amount all over you.”

His comment immediately sparked the image of that patch of hair that trailed from his belly to his groin, the hair you'd become very familiar with in the past few hours. You swallowed and adjusted your pack absentmindedly, trying to focus on Ellie's retort.

“You could use a shave, honestly,” she was saying, making a face, “Who knows what's living in all that shit.”

“Oh, ha ha, you're hilarious,” he rolled his eyes and slowed his pace a bit to gesture to his own bag, “If you really thought I needed to shave you would've packed me a razor too.”

“Okay, true,” she conceded, “But that's just because I was scared you'd shave off your beard and I don't want you to. You'd look weird without it.”

“I agree,” you said, probably a bit too quickly, and he turned to look at you with a raised eyebrow, “What? Beards are hot.”

It had slipped out before you could really think about how it would sound, and you saw the flash of something on his face that didn't last long enough to register. It was hard to read the expression that remained but he suddenly turned back around before you could get a good look. You looked at Ellie and she was eyeing you with her own unreadable expression.

“What?” you asked, feeling your cheeks go red, “They are, right?”

She scrunched up her nose in response, “I think I'm the wrong person to ask, sister.”

The springs could not have been more picturesque; there were two of them situated atop a small cliff face that overlooked the forest below, patches of snow covering hints of the rocky terrain. One was large and wide, probably big enough to comfortably fit thirty people, while the other one was more secluded and separated by the tree line for those seeking a more private experience. Without hesitation Ellie sprinted toward the big one and dipped her hand inside, jaw dropping when she felt the undeniable warmth of its depths.

“It's actually like a bath!” she called to you and Joel in delight, “Holy fucking shit!”

Joel turned to you and smiled, eyes reaching yours and capturing your full attention for a few seconds. It was the first time he'd made full eye contact with you since you'd left the cabin, and you felt heat rise in your cheeks at the memory of what had occurred between the two of you in bed, your hand on him and his eyes on you. The way he looked at you now, it was like he was trying to tell you something, but you weren't sure what.

“So how we doin' this?” Ellie interrupted, appearing at your side once more.

“What do you mean?”

“Well if we're actually gonna get clean we're gonna have to take our clothes off,” she made a face at Joel, “And no offence but I really don't want to see you naked.”

“Ellie,” Joel admonished, rolling his eyes, “Obviously you'll both stick to one and I'll stick to the other, which one do you want?”

“Whichever one is more shallow,” she replied immediately.

“Oh shit, right, you can't swim,” Joel's brow furrowed and he looked at you again, “Watch her, make sure she doesn't drown herself.”

“Aye aye, Captain,” you gave him a salute and he made an exasperated face.

“You're both ridiculous.”

Ellie grinned, “Thank you, so are you.”

“I'll test the small one, see how deep it is,” you shrugged off your pack and walked through the line of trees to the more secluded spring, leaving Joel and Ellie to squabble playfully behind you.

This one was definitely more tranquil than the large one, the thick greenery almost entirely muting the sound of Ellie bothering Joel beyond the treeline. The water was clear and still, a hint of steam rising like a halo above it. Anticipation of the promised warmth overtaking you, you kicked off your boots and unbuttoned your jeans, pulling them off and wincing at the sting of cold air that hit your skin. You climbed into the water without much hesitation and sighed deeply in satisfaction at the way the warm liquid lapped against your bare legs.

You took a few steps until you were almost to the centre of the spring, then had no choice but to lift up your shirt as the water became level with your abdomen. You kept your bra on, reminding yourself that as much as you wanted to just completely engulf yourself in the water with no inhibitions whatsoever, Ellie came first. Your feet still touching the rocky bottom, you reached the centre and grinned: perfectly safe, no drowning risk in water this shallow.

“We'll use this one, Ellie!” you called through the trees, not wanting to extricate yourself from the water now that you were used to the heat. No one responded and you huffed to yourself, cupping your hands around your mouth, “Come use this one!”

The shuffle of boots and rattling of gear broke the quietness of the clearing and you froze when you saw both Ellie and Joel appear, the latter stopping completely in his tracks when he saw you standing in the middle of the spring wearing nothing but your bra and underwear, t-shirt hanging from the back of your neck. Your eyes locked onto his, lips parting in surprise. You hadn't expected him to come with her.

“Awesome!” Ellie was already unzipping her coat and throwing it to the ground, reaching for her boots, “Joel, leave, I wanna get in.”

She seemed completely unaware of his genuine shock behind her, still standing there looking at you with wide eyes. Unconsciously you felt your mouth close and your lips turn up into a smile, not breaking eye contact as you continued to stand there with your bra completely on display. It's not like it was anything special, just a basic white sports bra that had gradually yellowed a bit over time, but you doubted Joel had seen a woman this bare in months, not since Tess. You watched as his gaze shifted from your eyes to your breasts and back to your eyes again, like he was self conscious about what he saw there.

You looked down at your chest and you felt your heart stutter a bit when you noticed that your bra had gotten slightly wet, your nipples peeking through the semi-transparent fabric. So that's what was making him so flustered. You looked up at him again and smiled wider, sheepishly, flirtatiously. His face had turned bright red.

“Joel,” Ellie finally turned to look at him, sounding exasperated as she finished untying her laces, “Leave.”

His eyes broke away from you and he cleared his throat awkwardly, nodding to Ellie and taking a few steps back, “Yeah, sorry. I'll uh- I'll be in the other one.”

You watched him go, unable to stop smiling as he tripped a bit in his rush to clear the area. You couldn't get over the fact that it was you that had him all hot and bothered, his hard exterior cracking away more and more the longer you allowed yourself to be close to him. Maybe he held the cards when it came to the definition of your relationship, but when it came to sex... yeah, you definitely had the power.

The spring was heaven; you hadn't bathed in hot water since you were back at Tommy's, and even then you'd only been able to take a quick shower. Now you revelled in the feeling of getting clean, the smoothness of your skin after you took the razor to the hair that had been slowly getting thicker around your ankles, the silkiness of your scalp after you'd masked it in conditioner. After showing Ellie how to use her razor you'd both turned away from each other, sitting on opposite sides of the spring to fully unclothe yourselves and bask in the luxuriousness, pretending you were both completely alone. The only sounds filling the clearing were the occasional splash of water and the birds chirping throughout the trees, calm and welcoming.

After a long period without conversation, Ellie spoke, “So you and Joel, huh.”

You froze, “Um, what?”

You could practically hear her roll her eyes, “I'm not an idiot. I see how he looks at you.”

Despite being shocked by her apparent knowledge of the situation, your heart skipped a beat at her comment, “H-how does he look at me?”

“Like he wants to jump your bones.”

You spluttered a bit, completely unsure of what to say and hating that you couldn't turn around to face her. Instead, you shuffled forward and grabbed the towel she'd packed for you, wrapping it around yourself.

“Put your towel on so we can actually talk properly,” you said, wincing at the squeak in your voice.

“I'm already dressed,” she replied, and you spun around in confusion. She wasn't lying; she was no longer in the spring and had somehow slipped back into her clothes without alerting you. She was sitting against one of the nearby trees, doodling in her journal.

“How long have you just been sitting there?”

“Maybe ten minutes, my skin was getting all wrinkly,” she scrunched up her nose, “It was gross.”

You wrapped the towel firmly around yourself and exited the water, walking around the edge of it barefoot until you reached the place where she sat. You seated yourself on a nearby rock, wracking your brain for what exactly you were going to say. She just kept doodling, eyes on the paper.

“What are you drawing?” you asked awkwardly.

“Nunya.”

Your brow furrowed, “What?”

“Nunya business,” she looked up at you then with a sly smile and you couldn't help but laugh.

“Okay, book down, we need to talk.”

She sighed but obeyed, closing her journal and turning her full attention to you.

“Me and Joel, we've been.... well, there's something...” you scratched at the back of your neck, “He... him and I, we...”

Ellie made an exasperated sound, “You're together, just say it.”

You winced, “We're not, though. That's the thing. Nothing's actually happened.” It was a lie but you couldn't very well tell a fourteen year old that you'd almost gotten to third base with her pseudo-father this morning.

“But you've like... kissed.”

You looked at her sheepishly, “Uh, no. We haven't kissed.”

She seemed genuinely surprised by that, raising her eyebrows in confusion, “Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

You sat there for a few seconds in silence, Ellie seemingly lost in thought for a moment before she spoke again.

“But you want to kiss him, right?”

You blushed, “Uh, yeah.”

“So what's stopping you?” her face suddenly became serious, “It's not me, is it? 'Cause I don't care, really. Like yeah it's kinda awkward but that's just because we're all so close to each other all the time, so if you needed me to disappear for a little bit I could. I mean, I've been trying to give you guys your space at night, you know, and-”

You put your hand up, eyes going wide, “Stop. You've been doing what at night?”

She stared at you like it seemed obvious, “I've been sleeping further away from you guys so you could have some time alone together.”

You stared, mouth popping open in disbelief.

“Why else do you think I vetoed the 'let's all stay in one cabin' idea last night?” she picked up her journal again and flipped to a specific page, then began to read aloud: “Sleeping in the cabin with the duck sign tonight. The lovebirds are in the sheep one, I think. Joel is so predictable.” she closed the book again and looked at you with a guilty smile, “I told you, I'm not an idiot.”

You just continued to stare at her, mouth open.

“Come on, it can't be that surprising.”

“Um, yeah,” you finally spoke, leaning back on the rock and throwing your hands up in the air, “We literally thought you were traumatized.”

Her eyebrows scrunched together, “By what?”

“By that...that...” you didn't want to say his name, “That monster. The guy from the resort.”

She nodded slowly, processing your reply, “Him? I mean... yeah, I guess that makes sense,” her brow furrowed, “but honestly, I don't think about him much at all, not unless I have to. He's not worth my time.” She looked at you again with a shrug, “I think I've seen too much shit at this point for anything to actually fuck me up that bad.”

Your expression softened, “Ellie, that's not something to be proud of.”

“I know, but it's helpful.”

You sighed, bringing your hands to your face in defeat, “Joel is gonna kill you, you know. He's been so worried about you, we both have.”

“Eh, he'll be fine. He's about to get a girlfriend, right?” she gave you a shit-eating grin, “Can't stay mad too long when he's gettin' some.”

You made a face and swung your arm at her, slapping her shoulder lightly, “Okay, you're not allowed to say shit like that.”

She rolled her eyes and stood up, tossing her journal back into her pack, “I'm gonna head back to the cabins if that's okay. I'm starving and that Chef Boyardee stuff is calling my name.”

“Okay, just let me get dressed and I'll-”

She put her hand up, “Nope, you're staying here. I saw how much you were enjoying the springs, you should get back in and relax a little while longer.”

You raised an eyebrow, “What do you mean you saw? We've been facing away from each other.”

She stared at you, mouth closing into a firm line as her cheeks began to flush a bright red.

“Ellie, were you drawing me?”

“...I gotta go,” she threw her pack over her shoulder and began to run back down the path, leaving you standing there with your mouth agape, “I'll save some for you!”

“Ellie!” you called after her, “I hope you know we're gonna have to talk about this!”

“Can't hear you!”

“ELLIE!”

“Get back in the water, loser!” was the last thing you heard her say as her footfalls faded into the trees.

Exasperated, you pulled yourself from the rock and dropped your towel, turning around and flopping into the warm water. You weren't even going to bother trying to process that information right now.

Instead you just let the water claim you again, floating on your back and closing your eyes as it rocked you gently back and forth. You basked in the peace for about a minute before you heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps in the brush.

“Ellie, I don't have my towel on,” you warned, rolling over to stand in the water, covering your chest with your hands, “I thought you were-” You froze when you saw who had actually emerged from the treeline.

“I heard yelling,” Joel practically gasped out, standing there completely frozen.

He was wearing absolutely nothing except for his jeans, which he'd seemingly haphazardly yanked on in his efforts to get to you quickly. They weren't buttoned, hanging off his hips loosely and exposing the hair that lay soft against his pubic bone, trailing upwards past his stomach and to his now visible abdomen and chest. His skin was taut, goosebumps tickling his bare flesh from the cold air, his nipples – framed lightly with grey hair – peaked and hard. Your gaze finally reached his face and his eyes had gone dark, lips parted with puffs of hot hair escaping his mouth with every breath. He was staring at you, not even bothering to try and hide the way his eyes fell to your chest, almost like he could see past the hands that cupped your breasts.

“She's gone back to the cabins,” you said quietly, almost too much so that you thought he might not hear you, but he did. He took another step toward you.

“Is she okay?” he practically whispered.

“Yeah, she was just giving me some alone time.”

His eyes trailed slowly down your body to where your skin met the water, where it lapped at your belly, leaving the other part of you that he clearly wanted to look at invisible beneath.

“Jesus Christ,” he took another step, “Look at you.”

You felt your face burn, biting your lip and feeling incredibly vulnerable as his gaze penetrated you. You felt yourself start to throb beneath the water and you crossed your legs unconsciously as he brought his eyes back up to look at your face.

“Tell me to stop,” he breathed, taking another step, “Tell me to go and I will.”

You shook your head slowly, “Don't go.”

He stopped at the edge of the water, his expression suddenly pained as he peered at you, “I mean it,” the words were a murmur now, almost impossible to hear, “If I get in with you... if I-” he closed his eyes, inhaling deeply, “If you don't want me, you gotta tell me now.”

“I want you,” you said it immediately, earnestly, voice barely a whisper, “Please.”

Keeping his eyes on you, he reached down and slipped out of his jeans, throwing them behind him. Your heart began to pound as he entered the water, eyes staying locked on his face, knowing full well that he was now completely naked but too nervous to look down at him. Instead, you slowly brought your hands down from your chest, your breasts on display to him as he traipsed through the water toward you. You expected his gaze to fall, but he never unlocked his eyes from yours, not even when he was suddenly standing directly in front of you.

“Say it again,” he whispered, and you felt his hand at your waist, gently brushing the skin there; you shivered.

“W-what?” you were completely intoxicated by his closeness, the musky smell of the body wash he'd used suddenly the only thing you could sense, surrounding you in a cloud of pure masculinity. He was so tall, so broad, so strong. You could barely think straight.

“Tell me you want me,” he breathed.

Instead of giving him a vocal response, you reached down between the two of you and felt for the firm length of his cock beneath the water; he was hard, long and solid at your fingertips. You wrapped your fingers around him as far as they would go and watched as he fell apart beneath your touch, brow furrowing in pleasure as he groaned, guttural and low. You leaned your head forward and buried your face in his warm chest, his coarse hair brushing against your cheeks.

“I want you,” you repeated against his skin, slowly dragging your hand up and down his shaft, shuffling closer so you felt the hot tip of it against your bare thigh, “Want you so bad, Joel.”

“Fuck,” he practically whimpered, and you felt his hand come up to cradle the back of your head like he'd done last night, holding you to his body, “Just like that, baby, just like that.”

You whined at the name, shivering when you felt his other hand press flat against your lower back, pulling you even closer to him. The head of his cock prodded at your lower belly and you couldn't help but look down, watching it breach the surface of the water, wide and dark. You stared at it, felt yourself literally begin to salivate as he fucked your fist, crossed your legs together even tighter when you looked up again to see that he was staring at you, slack-jawed and wrecked.

“This is what I wanted to do this morning,” you said softly to him, voice shaking slightly as the hand that wasn't on his cock trailed down his chest, “Just wanted to make you come, like you made me come.”

He made another throaty sound, the hand that had cradled your head moving down to cup your ass, “Fuck, I loved watching you come,” he moaned, squeezing one of your cheeks gently in his palm, “Prettiest thing I ever saw.”

You blushed, continuing to stroke him as you both breathed heavily and felt the warmth of the water, the warmth of each other completely overtake you. You pressed your forehead to his chest again and crossed your legs impossibly tighter.

“Don't do that,” he whispered, hand moving down beneath the water to grip your thigh, “Don't hide from me, not now.” Without any convincing necessary, you uncrossed your legs and allowed him to slip his hand between your thighs, thumb pressing gently against your clit. You moaned breathlessly, biting down on your lip. “Feel good, sweetheart?”

“Y-yes,” you whimpered against his chest as you felt his thumb rotate tenderly against the sensitive nub. His fingers were so thick and wide, everything about him was thick and wide. You could already feel yourself starting to fall apart when he ever so gently pushed his index finger inside of you, making you physically shake, “Joel.”

“That's it,” he murmured, “Love it when you say my name,” you began to stroke him faster and he grunted, deep and loud, “You were sayin' it in your sleep last night, do you remember?” his finger was now fully sheathed inside of you, hot and tight, “Moanin' it. Was I in your dream, baby?”

“Yes,” you whined.

“What was I doin'?” he carefully began to push his middle finger inside of you alongside the index, the stretch burning you slightly in the best way possible, “Was it like this? My fingers? Or was somethin' else deep in there?” he thumbed at your clit again, making your mouth pop open.

You couldn't remember the specific details of the dream you'd had, the one that had ended with you waking up riding Joel's thigh, but you could remember the main gist of it, which was pretty much exactly what was happening right now. It was almost too good to be true, too crazy similar to be reality. For a moment you feared you were about to wake up again, but then Joel slowly began to thrust his fingers in and out of you, and you knew this feeling had to be real.

“I don't remember,” you whispered into his skin, “But you were there, you were holding me close like this in the water,” you gripped his cock tighter in your fist, “Didn't want you to let me go.”

“I'm not gonna let you go, baby,” he murmured, breath hot in your ear, “I'm right here, never leavin'.” His breaths were becoming more frantic, erratic; you knew he was close. And so were you. “God, your hand feels so fucking good around my cock.”

His words were almost as penetrating as his fingers, and you gasped when you suddenly felt his other hand at your breast, teasing your nipple with his thumb and forefinger. You bit down hard on your lip again, keening at the overwhelming sensation of being so desired, so claimed. He mirrored your moan, eyes closing as he gently tweaked your nipple and squeezed your clit at the same time, making you clench around his fingers.

“I'm coming,” you managed to gasp out, hand stilling on his cock, “Oh god, Joel.”

“Come for me, pretty girl, show me,” he whispered breathlessly, “Show me how good it feels.”

You shook in his grasp as you felt your release overtake you, legs tightening again as he continued to relentlessly thrust his fingers in and out of you, thumb flicking wildly at your clit as you rode it out, repeating his name over and over like a mantra. You managed to start moving your hand on his cock again before your orgasm had ended, wanting to give him a similar release as he watched you come undone with his fingers. You heard him groan loudly and you opened your eyes to blearily watch as he finished in your fist, his come spurting above the water and along your fingers before disappearing into the water below. You closed your eyes again and whimpered as he carefully removed his fingers from your core, pulling you in close and burying his face in your neck.

“You're perfect,” he groaned against your skin, “Jesus, that was good.”

You laughed breathlessly, releasing him from your fist and bringing your arms up to wrap around him, palms pressed flush against his back in a warm hug. He hugged you back, and your eyes widened slightly when you felt him press a few small kisses to the space between your neck and shoulder, tender and gentle.

“My girl,” he murmured, and you felt tears suddenly sting your eyes, “Don't want anybody but you, you hear me? Nobody.”

You shut your eyes tight, holding him closer, “I don't want anyone else either,” you whispered, voice shaky with emotion, “It's just you, only you.”

He pulled back to peer down at you, and you were surprised to see that his eyes were also shining with tears, mirroring yours. He brought his hands down to your waist, thumbs stroking your bare skin as he smiled softly down at you.

“I'm gonna kiss you now,” he whispered, breath hitching a bit, “If that's okay.”

“Of course it's okay, dummy,” you replied with a smile, feeling a tear slip down your cheek, “Been waiting for you to ask me that for weeks.”

He chuckled at your words and leaned in to press a gentle kiss to your lips, his beard rough but welcome against your chin. You kissed him back just as soft, hands stroking up and down his back soothingly as you gave yourself to him, let him take what was rightfully his. He held you tighter as he pulled back to rest his forehead against yours, giving you your favorite crooked smile.

“Sorry it took me so damn long.”

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fic #tlou fic #pedro pascal fic #*#fic: one thing i'm missing

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ladylannisterxo · 17 days

Text

... the one where spence takes an interest

Pairings; Spencer Reid x fem!Reader

Words; 0.6k

Warnings; one use of Y/N but this was written back before I stopped using it lol but other than that, none, just fluff!

Summary; {requested} "Not to pester you, I had this thought and wanted to share is all, but could you imagine talking to Spencer about something you're really excited about (like a movie/tv show/game or something) and the next day he starts talking to you in length about it, and it turns out he went home that night and read/watched everything he could on the subject."

A/N; goodness, I wrote this years ago on another blog and since I've been rewatching Criminal Minds, I figured I'd go ahead and post it again (cause why not?)... the one and only thing I ever wrote for Dr. Spencer Reid ajdhsakdshak

{ masterlist }

You didn't plan this. Really, you didn't. But you know how it goes when you start binging a new tv series: just one more episode... and then before you know it, it's 2:00am.

Now you're sitting in the bullpen. It's 8:00am and you're constantly rubbing at your tired eyes and chugging coffee like your life depends on it.

And Spencer is wearing a curious expression, already extrapolating possibilities as to what could have kept you awake last night.

But he doesn't mention it. Not when the team is discussing the new case, not even on the jet en route to your destination. He waits until it's just you and him, paired off to go talk to the medical examiner about the latest victim.

"Are you okay?"

"Hmm? Oh yeah, just a little tired."

He smiles warmly, offering you an amused glance before fixing his eyes back on the road. "I gathered. What kept you up?"

"You know, I just..."

But then you realize you don't want to tell him, not really. To you, staying up super late to watch a tv show seems embarrassing when compared to how he most likely spent his night.

You imagine that he read around six books, most of which were probably in a language you didn't understand. Or maybe he called his mom to check in with her. Or maybe he had nightmares himself and so he thinks that's exactly what happened with you...

Any scenario you think of infinitely sounds better than oh, you know, I just stayed up super late watching some trashy guilty pleasure tv show because I have no self control.

"Nothing really," you settle on, "it's dumb."

"Try me."

So you cave, mostly because you're too tired to fight. He listens intently as you tell him about the new show you found, how it's completely ridiculous but it allows you to step out of your life for a bit and relax.

He doesn't say much, just nods along as you talk and before you know it, you've arrived at your destination and it's back to work.

Spencer actually doesn't mention your conversation again for the remainder of the case and finally, the unsub is in custody and the team is back home to enjoy a nice, long weekend.

You don't see or hear from Spencer during this time but first thing Monday morning, he's greeting you as you step off the elevator with a cup of coffee and a bright smile.

... and then he tells you he spent the weekend watching the first season of the show you mentioned and to his surprise, he really enjoyed it.

To say you're confused is an understatement but you listen as he discusses every character and what he thinks of the current story arc.

"Spencer," you laugh, resting your hand on his arm and halting his speech. "Not that I'm not thrilled to talk about this but I really wasn't expecting you to go home and watch an entire season of a show just because I mentioned it."

He smiles sheepishly, eyes lingering on where your hand still rests on his arm.

"You were really excited about it though."

"And?"

"And it seemed important to you... so it's important to me."

A smile pulls itself across your face and you open your mouth to respond when you're both interrupted by Garcia letting you know there's another case.

"Hold that thought," you inquire.

"It's impossible for me to forget it."

And just like that, you're discussing trashy tv with Dr. Spencer Reid during any downtime that you're granted. You gush about your favorite character and he theorizes future story arcs while simultaneously pointing out behavioral inaccuracies.

"People do not speak like that in that kind of situation, Y/N."

"It's tv, Spence, it's supposed to be unrealistic. That's what makes it fun."

+ Bonus: if it's a series that is currently airing, you both come into the office the next morning and excitedly discuss every single thing that happened and then theorize on what could possibly happen next.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x fem!reader #criminal minds #writing by 's'

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winterlynightlystories · 8 months

Text

Still worth fighting for? Part 1

Tw; mention of murder, Geto’s racism, future poly relationship angst.

Please do not copy/steal my work

Geto Suguru/Male Reader and past Satosugu

Future Geto Suguru/Male Reader/ Gojo Satoru

Summary; As you are remembering how you and Suguru ended up together, his ex-boyfriend shows up at your place. The presence of Satoru doesn't seem to be appreciated by anyone in your little familly. Yet, there isn't other choice, since Satoru is there for a mission. But his presence awake old memories… old feelings.

Note; not proofread! And yes… I'm starting yet again a new series, but I couldn't resist writing about this dynamic and how the story would have gone if Suguru hadn't become a cult leader/Curse User. But don't worry, I am not forgetting the rest of my stories!

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You woke up with sweet kisses all over your face. You chuckled, feeling Suguru’s long hair tickling your bare chest and neck. Slowly opening your eyes, you were greeted with the sight of your tired boyfriend. Dark circles under his eyes and skin sickly pale, you could see the effect of the sleepless nights Suguru went through. You gently passed a hand in his hair, pulling him closer so you could kiss him.

- “Good morning gorgeous.” you said, feeling Suguru melting in your arms and smiling against your lips.

- “I don't think I look that gorgeous right now.” He mumbled, making you laugh.

- “Nonsense, you'll always be the sexiest man in my eyes.”

He laughed, pushing you away as you kissed his neck, putting your hands under his white shirt. Suguru’s skin was warm… too warm.

- “How are you feeling? I'm sorry I've been neglecting you and the girls. You shouldn't be the only one taking care of them. You'll end up as sick.”

- “It's okay, I'm fine. The girls haven't gotten back their voices, but their fever is almost gone. They finally fell asleep.” Suguru replied, laying down next to you, resting his head on your chest. “You have been busy with work, I can't hold it against you.”

- “Still, you need to rest as well. I'll call sick so you can enjoy a good hot shower and some sleep.”

- “No, you don't have…”

- “It wasn't a proposition, I'm going to do it.”

Suguru sighed, yet you still could feel his tired smile against your skin. You kissed his forehead, hating how sweaty and warm it was. Nanako and Mimiko had caught a terrible flu at school. The poor things were coughing so harshly that they were throwing up and losing their voices. The fever went so high one day that Suguru had to take them to the hospital. You remembered the fear and panic you felt when Suguru called you. His voice filled with worries had broken your heart. Thankfully, you were able to leave and join him.

Playing with Suguru’s hair, you remembered how all of this started. It was at school when you both were only seventeen. It was soon after the death of that poor girl, Riko. How her terrible faith had broken Suguru and, besides you, no one seemed to notice it. Not even Suguru’s then-boyfriend, Gojo Satoru.

Suguru and you grew closer as you became his only support, keeping his head out of the water as much as you could. You often went on the same mission, because you asked for it, feeling like Suguru could break anytime. It was during one of your missions that you saved the girls. You still could remember how Suguru almost snapped. The coldness in his eyes, the murderous aura around him. It had taken everything for you to calm him down. You basically kidnapped Nanako and Mimiko, but in the end were able to keep them.

Well, Suguru did, while you lost everything. You took all the blame, trying to protect him.

It was always obvious that you loved Suguru. You were often mocked by Gojo and teased about how Suguru was his. How, even with his six eyes, did Satoru never realize you also liked him? That was a mystery that would never be solved.

So it was a surprise when Suguru abandoned the school, and everything before he left Gojo to follow you. It wasn't long until you found a place to call home far from Tokyo, almost on the other side of the country… then you started a romantic relationship.

Suguru stayed mostly at home, taking care of the girls and teaching them everything about their world. About becoming Sorcerers. You noticed how your man had a bad tendency to call Non-Sorcerers ‘monkeys’, but in the end, you understood him.

So while Suguru took care of the twins, you went to school and became a police officer, but quickly was promoted to detective. It was a job that cost you a lot of time. Being called days and nights, sometimes not even coming home for a day or two.

Just like now.

You were on the strangest case you ever saw. An ungodly amount of blood had been found in a back alley, enough to assume the victim had died from blood loss. Yet, there was a report of sighting. But the witnesses all said the same; the man wasn't acting normally and he had a new large scar and stitches all around his head.

It didn't make sense.

So, when corpses began the pile-up you contacted the Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College, knowing damn well you were dealing with Curses. Something had taken control of a dead body and you preferred letting them deal with that weirdness.

You were supposed to meet with the Sorcerer affiliated to the case today, but seeing how Suguru and the girls were, you preferred calling sick. You'll meet later at night or tomorrow, it wasn't urgent after all.

A knocking at the bedroom door had both you and Suguru sighing. You kissed him on the forehead before slowly getting up.

- “Go take a shower and then rest. I'll take care of the girls.” you said as Suguru closed his eyes and nodded.

You found Nanako standing behind the door, her eyes red and puffy. Her hair was soaked with sweat and she was slightly shaking. Without a word, you scooped her up with an arm, putting your other hand on her forehead.

She was burning.

- “Okay. Let's do another round of pills and syrups, okay? I'm going to take care of you, Suguru is resting.”

She said nothing, after all, she still couldn't talk. Instead, she wrapped her arms around your shoulders and rested her head against your neck. You almost flinched, feeling just how burning her skin was. You cursed mentally, thinking about taking her immediately to the urgences. But you couldn't leave Suguru and her sister behind. You would wait and if really the fever wasn't going down, then…

You carried Nanako back into her bed, grabbing the medicine on your way. You gave it to her after helping her to bed. You didn't leave the room until she was fast asleep and made sure her sister was alright too.

You hated seeing the Twins so sick, but there was nothing you could do but wait until it passed. It was, after all, the first time they were so bad. Normally they would have the flu for a few days then it would go away.

You sighed as you got out of Nanako and Mimiko’s bedroom. You hoped that Suguru wouldn't get as sick as them.

You could hear the shower which made you smile, wanting nothing else than to join your boyfriend under it and take care of him. But, you had a few calls to make. A single look at the clock told you all you needed; your boss wasn't going to be at the police station before at least one more hour. So you called your partner.

- “Oi, mate! Why are you calling so early?” the voice of your old partner and friend asked, as he chewed on something. “Is everything alright?”

- “No. Haru, I'm afraid the girls aren't doing better and Suguru definitely caught the same thing. He's already having a light fever.” You sighed, putting the kettle on the oven. “I won't be able to make it to the post today. Can you pass the word to the captain?”

- “Of course! I hope you don't need to go to the hospital again?”

- “I don't know. Nanako was burning hot and passed out after I gave her her medicine. If her fever doesn't drop I won't have the choice.”

- “Shit! Keep me informed. I’ll ask Inko to drop you some soup. My wife’s cooking is the best when sick! You'll see, your girls are going to be better in no time.”

- “Thanks. Can I ask you to take care of our Sorcerer friend? Just give him the big lines, I'll meet with them tonight or tomorrow to give him the rest of the case.”

- “Yes, yes! I will. Do you know who they are going to send?”

- “Nan. Probably a first or second grade, this isn't something big enough to require one of their best elements. Probably some trashy Curse trapped inside a corpse or something like that.”

Haru was one of the rare persons around you who had Cursed Energy and could see curses. But the poor fellow was mediocre at best when it came to any kind of fighting style and he knew it. So he never even tried to become a sorcerer. Instead, he married his wife when they were freshly out of school. They both knew your and Suguru’s history and had always been a comforting presence in your lives ever since. They always loved to keep the girls from time to time, giving you and Suguru some alone time.

So you felt relieved knowing Inko would be coming around during the day. She would be such a great help to take care of your sick family.

After hanging up, you poured yourself a hot cup of tea before sitting at the table, trying to relax your nerves. In the silence of the apartment, you heard Suguru turning off the shower. Your boyfriend was probably drying himself before going to bed. You want nothing more than to go back to bed and cuddle him, but it is your turn to stay up and take care of the house.

So you did. You washed the dishes and cleaned the living room, grabbing the girls’ stuff they had left around. Mostly school things. You found Nanako’s pull under the sofa, somehow and Mimiko’s socks under the TV. You sighed, throwing them in the washing machine before starting the laundry.

You took the time to make sure the girls were fine. You found them sharing the same bed, unable to tell which limb belonged to whom. You smiled, touching their forehead. They weren't as warm as earlier. You pulled a thin blanket on them before leaving their room.

You found Geto sleeping curled up in the mess of the blanket and discarded clothes. He had a pale grey shirt and his boxer, but nothing else. His shirt was slightly pulled up, revealing his flat stomach and ribs. He had, again, lost some weight.

You heard your phone ringing, but you ignored it, deciding to lie down behind Suguru. You gently wrapped an arm around him, pressing your body against him. You felt his body relax as if he recognized your presence even in his sleep. You closed your eyes, nose buried deep in his damp hair.

You needed to call work and take a longer leave, at least until your little family was back on its feet. And you needed to take Suguru on a date and spoil him after he did so much. Maybe you needed to think about leaving your job for a less demanding one. Suguru and the girls needed you too after all and you hated missing on special occasions.

Before you knew it, you were fast asleep.

You woke up feeling Suguru moving, grunting you tried to keep him in bed with you.

- “Someone is knocking at the door.” he said with a tired voice and you sighed.

- “Stay in bed, it might be Inko. She is supposed to come give us a hand and some soup. Maybe she forgot her key.”

You got up, leaving Suguru in bed.

But as you approached the door, you knew it wasn't your friend. The shadow at the window was way to tall and that hair… You stopped in your tracks, refusing to believe it. But the figure knocked again and you had no choice but to open the door.

And there he stood.

Gojo fucking Satoru.

Somehow the man got taller, but he was still the same. Instead of his round sunglasses, a black blindfold covered his Six Eyes. A smudge grin painted his lips. He chuckled, seeing your shocked expression.

- “What? You haven't gotten a call from your partner?” he asked, leaning against the doorframe.

- “No, I didn't pick up. I was focused on tacking care of my sick family. Anyway, what are you doing here?”

- “Ouch. No ‘Happy to see you!’ or ‘It's been so long, but you still look good Satoru!’?”

- “Yes, yes, but it's not what I mean. Why are they sending you for something so banal? Anyway, come in. Tea?”

You got out of the way, letting the man enter. You closed the door behind him and, as you went to the kitchen, saw him freeze at the entrance of the living room. Gojo must have seen the picture of your family.

You poured two cups of tea before joining Gojo. You found him sitting in the sofa and staring at the wall where you had hung many pictures of you, Suguru and the girls. You couldn't tell which one Satoru was staring at. The one from last year at the beach? Maybe the one of you kissing Suguru outside as the snow fell around. Or the one where your boyfriend sat at the table, helping the girls with their homework? Either way, you could see how tight Gojo's jaw was closed. You almost feared his teeth would crack under the pressure.

- “Here. So, why you?” you asked, giving him the tea before sitting in the armchair facing him.

- “Because it's not the first time a situation like this one happened. We think it might be a Curse User.” He said, not even moving his head. You could tell he wanted to ask question, but didn't press him.

- “Really? I haven't heard of anything similar around here.”

- “Not here, in Tokyo.”

- “Ah…. Yes, we don't really look at the news from there.” you mumbled, sipping at your own tea.

The silence was loud and heavy.

You two were supposed to be talking about the case, but you just couldn't talk. You had this mass in your throat making it difficult to swallow your tea or even your saliva. A part of you had, ironically, missed Satoru. Even if the man had been a dick all the time you were at school, you still had good memories. Because he still gave you a hand when you needed it.

And you stole his boyfriend.

Which was making you the bigger asshole in the room.

- “What the fuck is he doing here?” Asked Suguru, making you jump and drop your tea on you. Suguru came to you, hearing you curse. “Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.”

- “It's okay, don't worry.” You replied, letting Suguru take your empty cup. “Satoru is here for the case. Apparently, it's not the first time it has happened.”

- “And you believe him?” He asked, grabbing your phone as he sat on your lap. He had put on your pair of jogging.

- “Su’ what are you doing?”

- “Making sure he isn't lying”

You sighed, wrapping one arm around Suguru's waist while caressing his knee with the other. You gave an apologetic look at Satoru, mouthing a ‘Sorry, he is sick.’ while Suguru talked to whoever was on the other side. Poor Gojo was so tense he seemed frozen in place and you felt bad for him. The man didn't ask to be here, didn't ask to witness you loving on his ex. You knew that Gojo definitely still had feelings for Suguru. How could he not? Everyone knew just how in love they used to be.

You sighed, watching Suguru throw your phone on his own lap, grinding his teeth.

- “True?”

- “Yeah. They did send him.” he sighed, giving Satoru the side eye.

- “I’m sorry. Want me to go…” you tried to talk, but Suguru signalled you to shut up.

- “No. It's okay, but I’m staying with you.”

- “Babe, I need my suitcase.” you pointed out, but without a word, Suguru got up and left.

You sighed and passed a hand on your face, knowing damn well this was going to be one hell of a case.

- “I see he is still angry at me.” Satoru said, voice so low you almost didn't hear it.

- “Honestly I don't know. I don't even know what happened between you two. Suguru doesn't like talking about it, so we don't.” you replied, looking at him.

- “We fought… about you.” Gojo admitted, looking away.

- “About me?”

- “Yeah. About how I acted toward you, especially after your expulsion. Suguru left me, pointing out how you were the only one who had noticed how he was truly feeling after… after Riko. Well, that and more.”

You were silent, not knowing what to say. They had broken up, over you? Suguru had defended you, even before you were an item?

You felt your heart swollen with love for Suguru. He was such a strong and kind soul. You loved him even more, if that was possible.

You smiled, almost stupidly, as Suguru came back into the living room, throwing your suitcase at Satoru before sitting back on your lap.

- “Come on. Quite at talking about that day, why don't you repeat what you told me?” Suguru asked, his voice filled with so much venom you almost didn't recognize it. “Are you doing it or should I?”

- “I…”

- “You told me, and I quote “Well, if he is such a great and good man, why don't you leave me for him? Clearly, he would be a way better boyfriend than me!” that's what you told me, right? And yes, he is a way better boyfriend than you ever were.”

You gasped, looking back and forth between the two men. Gods, you really were behind their break up!

You wrapped your arm tightly around Suguru, pulling him closer to you. You took his hand in yours, kissing his fingers. You hated seeing him like that. Angry, hurt and uncomfortable in your own house. You wanted to leave and go somewhere else, so Suguru wouldn't have to face Satoru, but it was clear your boyfriend wasn't going to leave the two of you alone.

This situation was more than awkward and uncomfortable.

The silence that followed Suguru's statement was heavy. Terribly heavy. But, surprisingly, it was Satoru who broke it.

- “I'm sorry. I was cruel and neither of you deserved it. Especially you, Suguru. And I'm not looking for forgiveness, because I know I don't deserve it. I don't want revenge either, I'm just happy you got to build a family and be happy.” He sighed, looking away. “But we have a job to do and a Curse User to catch.”

Against you, you felt Suguru slowly relax. Had he been afraid that Satoru came to try and conquer him again? Or hurt you? You kissed Suguru’s fingers again and he gave you a weak smile. The dark circles under his eyes seemed worse, but his eyes had found back their softness. You mouthed an “I love you” while Satoru was opening your suitcase and pulled out all the documents and photos you had about the case.

You also relax, thinking that maybe working with Satoru wasn't going to be so hard finally.

No.

The hard part was going to try and forget how your heart still missed a beat when you felt his eyes looking at you. Or how Suguru refused to meet Gojo’s gaze.

Yes.

The hard part would be to act as if there were no more feelings when, obviously, they were still there. Intact and waiting.

#geto suguru #x male reader #male reader #fanfic #jjk #geto x y/n #jjk geto #polyamory #geto suguru x male reader #gojo satoru x male reader #satosugu #jjk x male reader #gojo satoru

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ktchie · 9 months

Text

'It's the hope that kills you'

Ted Lasso x Reader

Fluff and Angst

♡ other tags: attempt at humour/ no proof read we die like Rupert should've / possible part two

♡6.1k words

◇ In which Y/n wanted to confessed and Ted has a pastel pink apron.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

She consider herself as a tough independent woman who rather die and be beheaded than show any ounce of feelings or a hint of affection.

Her therapist said it's because she grew up in a household that doesn't show much emotion or any vulnerability. And they're right, she remember the time she saw her Dad shed a tear on the night of her high-school graduation, hiding behind his hands and cool dad stance before abruptly going to the bathroom and staying there for 40 minutes - he came back with red eyes and a terrible pun joke. As if nothing had happened.

So it is perfectly understandable that she grew up hating vulnerability, choosing to stay rigid and emotionless rather to have her whole soul on the palm of her hand. It doest help either that she's the eldest kid, the pillar of her siblings, the one who lays awake at night thinking any and every problems her parents throw at her way, worrying about it to the point her chest hurt and she has to learn to calm panic attack in such a young age.

So that being said, she never really had the full experience of romance or being in a relationship. She flirted with a few men on her lives and had fucked them plenty of times but she never really did the whole holding hands thing and all that cheesy stuff that people always whined about once the clock hits 10 and loneliness hits you like a freight train.

But meeting Ted, meeting Ted makes her want to dive head first on whatever corny things couples do in this day of age. Whether it be kissing on the rain or robbing a bank at 2pm in a Sunday afternoon.

She stared at him from across her, sitting so patiently like an overgrown child with a cup of steaming hot coffee.

"Something you need, Ted?" Her tone of voice held nothing but pure professionalism that made her quietly hissed.

Ted looked at her with his big brown eyes that makes her heart all googoo gaga, she sometimes wonder if Ted is secretly part of some hidden government group because she swore that puppy eyes could stop a international fued.

"Oh you know, just wanna visit ya'" he stated with a cheeryness only he can produced in the morning, all dimple and wide smiles. "'been awhile since I saw you, thought you're actually avoiding me but boss said that you're six feet under with all the work you got goin' on"

She chuckled at his words "Ted, I don't think there's anything in this world that could keep me away from you" she answered with a subtle smile, if she wanted him she would get him, whether it be by words or thousand of prayers.

Ted looked at her silently, wide eye and a blossoming blush on his cheeks. He looks ethereal underneath the early morning sun, a fallen single strand of hair dangling on his forehead that makes her hand itch with yearn to fix it.

"But I have been awfully neglectful to the rest of you, haven't I?" She decided to move on from her flirting (?), she doesnt want Ted to dropped dead on the floor from all the blood on his head. "I've been busy these past few weeks, but Will told me about the team plan get together on Sam's restaurant. I'll make sure to attend it, even shoulder the payment if we can get Sam to give us the bill"

Ted nodded his head, tounge tied for once, some part of her rejoiced while the other part, the one who always fear rejection and if she's being too much or too stupid, fear for whatever friendship they have (or had, if worse comes to worse)

"I-well" he cleared his throat, looking at her through his weirdly long eyelashes that always made her tear up in awe and envy.

"We can uh' y'know, we can split the bill, don't hav'ta shoulder it all by yourself"

"No its alright" she shook her head, she contemplate touching his arms, feel the soft fabric of his awfully comfy looking sweater and the skin underneath it but she decided not to, Ted might freak the fuck out and leave the room yelling 'HR! HR!' And have her fired and be shamed by the rest of the Richmond community for touching their beloved American wanker. "Consider it as my payment for forgetting to visit the locker room"

"Wasn't your fault, anyway" he shrugged before gesturing to the tower of folders and impending blueprints for the upcoming renovations and building upgrades. "I mean take a look at that, the great mt. Everest would cry if he saw this monstrosity. Even looking at it makes my stomach all funky" he shudder at its sight. "Do you even take a break? Jeez."

She sighed and leaned back on her office chair "from time to time, 15 minutes or 5. I like to finish my work early so.."

Ted frowned, he has one of those upset looks that makes her heart clenched and crack little by little until it exploded on her chest and she has to pretend she wasn't in pain so he could view her as a normal human being and not a lovesick teenager. "Ya should take a better care of yourself, you can't just go 'n on 'n on workin' till you drop dead" if it's possible, his doe eyes turned even more sadder. " its not good for you"

She bit her lip, her thighs moving up and down underneath her desk. She never liked it when he's anything but happy. "I can go take a rest when I go home and take a rest some more once I finish of all this work. its fine, don't worry too much about me"

"How can I not worry about you?" Ted leaned in, sad eyes and furrow brows. "Youre my-" he sighed before he shake his head "heck, If I had known you're over 'ere slowly killin' yourself i would have yank you from your desk till you're screamin' and cryin'"

Screaming and crying huh? Oh she can do that, alright.

"Ted.." she sighed, trying her hardest to ease the furrow on his brows "its fine, im fine. Don't worry about me too much. there's another game coming up, thats what you should be focusing on yeah?"

Ted sighed deeply, leaning back on the chair before nodding. A lock of hair fell down on his forehead, perfect it was, and y/n thought he never looked more beautiful then. She wonder if Ted kept his hair perfectly gel all the time or if he had ever let his guard down on the four walls he had been forcely call his home.

She would love to see him just him, just Ted, with his goofy smiles and bad puns and old reference from a bad film made years before.

She would love to love him, flaws and imperfections and bad days. She would paint him beautifully, perfect at every stroke of her brush and no smudge of mistakes and yet she knows she still wouldn't do him justice. Ted is just too perfect, too lovely, too godly to be even be depicted on a rough white canvas of this wretched world. Ted deserves to be painted in the walls of the church, or at every thread of the clouds, he was meant to be seen and to be watched and to be memorize until his kindness and his generosity and smile are engraved deep within everyone's heart. Y/n wanted to worship Ted with utmost devotion that her mouth would utter prayers like a second breath, until her two pressed hands bleed and flowers grow between her palm.

She watched him sat across her, his gaze darting everywhere on the carpet before a smile slowly broke on his lips, eyes suddenly lighting up and whole body perking up.

"Hey" he looked up to her, grin and joyful gaze "guess what I cooked last night" he had said giddily

"if you get it right I might just have to take a peek on that ridiculous sitcom you've always buggin' me to watch"

She scoffed, offended. "Modern family is not ridiculous, it's the best thing that ever happened to television-"

"Now hol' up. You're gettin' ahead of yourself now, sugar" she pretended the pet name didnt make her stomach flip and twist and did all kinds of wwe wrestling stunt.

"I'll have you know that you're wrong, there are tons of- you know what, I ain't even gonna argue with you because we're both too tired for this and I'm too excited to tell you what I cooked last night, so just guess, come on"

She squinted her eyes before sighing as she started to think. "Well, last time we spoke you wouldn't shut up about barbecue and kebab and that one burger that sounds like it could kill you from one sniff"

"Triple cheese burger with bacon crisp, 3 sunny side eggs and curly fries dipped in ranch and garlic sauce with side on-"

"Sounds awful. Americans and their ridiculous food, seriously how are you not dead yet?"

Ted had shrugged with a sickeningly sweet smile "have no idea, but its good 'n ya know what they say 'enjoy life while it lasted'"

"Curse that qoute for manipulating you, let's just pray you wouldn't drop dead in the middle of the court because we can't handle your decaying body and another lose at the same time"

"You betcha! Now guess what I cooked!" Ted was almost jumping from his seat, propping his head on his palm as he stared at her.

"Come on, now"

"Curry"

"No"

"Friend chicken?"

"Nope, but boy I would love to have that right now"

"Salad?"

"Heck no! You kiddin' me?"

"Uhhh, curry?"

"You already said that!" Ted pouted lightly and she almost reach out to trace the bottom of his lips and mumbled how sweet he look right now but thankfully she stopped herself.

"Allright I give up" she threw her hand up and sigh "anything you cooked is fantastic anyway, doesn't matter what it is"

"Oh, arent you a sweetheart" he smiled at her so adorably it made her tooth ache. "I'm glad you think so because I just cooked f/f!" Ted yelled so excitedly, arms spread wide and eyes bright.

She looked at him with agape mouth

"F/f? Are you serious?" She grinned so widely, it has been awhile since she tasted it, mainly because the only f/f she had ever ate is the one her mother cooks.

"Course! I wouldn't lie to ya!" Ted had stated "I couldn't get some shut eyes last night so I decided to make it, better to do something than nothin' at all am I right?"

She's still looking at him, as if in trance. "Wow Ted..I mean im pretty fucking pump but-well, why did you make it? You could have baked, you usually bake when you have nothing to do"

Ted looked away from her, cheeks suddenly getting warm and pink under the sunlight. "Oh you know..just miss ya' I guess"

Her heart crumbled and melted inside of her chest, she could feel its warmth drip from every nerve she has and settle deep within her guts and lay there until she has to curl her toes in a pathethic attempt to calm herself down.

He took a peek at her under his lashes. "I was so used seeing you every darn morning 'ere so it makes me all sad and upset when I don't. Even coach beard had to knock some sense in to me, told me to keep my marbles together or else he'll hide my barbecue sauce" he lightly chuckled "pretty heavy threat, if you ask me"

"I didnt know you miss me so much"

"Are you kiddin' me? I miss ya a hell'ava lot more than 'much'" Ted had almost yelled "i miss ya more than Roy misses running! And thats alot"

She laugh quietly, both in amusement and the tickling feeling deep on her stomach that normal people (with normal amount of love on their heart) would refer as butterflies, but for her, for someone who love too deep and too vast and too much and for a girl like her that grew up reading stories and fairy tales and movies characters with soft confession under bright stars and harsh rains, she could refer the feeling on her stomach as a clawing beast, a magnificent one born on legends and shaky words of the fear locals, with a ferocious growl and wild eyes and fangs as big as a tallest house.

In short, everytime Ted does something so adorably lovely on her eyes she could feel the entire animals on her stomach.

She looked at him with a gentle smile, eyes bright and so so soft - looking at him a like proper lover would. "I miss you too, Ted" she had said almost like a whisper, like a sin. "More than you could ever know"

The statement sounded too intimate, the tone too romantic to be said between casual friends and even the silence after it could be written in a pages of old romance stories - describe it like moment after the music, where the two of them stares at one another with that yearning look that makes all the reader sick to their stomach.

Her words sounds like a confession, one that is so gentle even the gods up above would melt where they stood. She didn't utter the proper words of 'i love you' and didn't open her palm where her bleeding heart lay and offer it to him with a desperation - but the way she said her words, the way every letter soud so much like a sudden whisper in a night of passion and sudden realization of devotion and adoration makes her statement more than a confession - as if it was an oath, a promise set on stone. Like a knights word as he kneeled on his king and offered the edge of his swords, bare against the world, bright steel and fierce glare as his lips mouth his promise, the words he would live and die on, where war would start and where it would end - be it by his blood or his foes. And similar to that y/n is ready to be let down on where she sat, to spill her heart like a leaking wound and let it stains them both, let him know how she feels, how serious, how much time she had spent pinning after him, yearning, adoring him so silently like a lovesick suitor from afar.

Ted grinned at her, dimple deep on his cheeks and that damn fallen hair on his forehead that makes him so so lovely. He opened his mouth and y/n waited with bathed breath and wonder what words would come out but before he could even roll his tounge the door of her office opened with a harsh loud push.

"Y/n we have to- oh. oh Ted! Good morning!" Higgings strolled in clumsily and no matter how much she love the little dork she kinda want to crush his glasses on her palm and send him home.

"Higgins! Nice to see ya today, buddy" Ted stood up to greet him and to give him a pleasant hug and if the coach is annoyed at anyway, he didn't show it. God he's so kind its annoying..

"You too, Ted. You too" Higgins replied with a smile that reserved only for Ted, filled with gratitude and adoration before he turned to her and she watch, with great amusement and a little irritation, when that smile fell down on his lips. "And uh, we need to talk"

She sighed mournfully, waving a goodbye to the wonderful conversation she was having with her love and to the words he would say earlier. She gestured Higgings to sit across her before she met Ted's eyes.

"Im afraid we'll have to cut our cheesy conversation here, Ted. Duty calls and if you want someone to blame, blame Higgings" she pointed at the man with a teasing smirk that had Higgins poor heart rapidly beating with nervousness.

"What? But I'm merely doing my job-"

"Im fucking with you" she patted his shoulder with a light laugh before glancing at Ted, who still remained at her office with a smile.

"I'll gave you a call later" Ted had said "let's have a dinner, ill cook for ya'"

She bit her lip to keep the ridiculous love sick smile threatening to rip her mouth apart and nodded "ill look forward to it, have a good day"

"You too, sugar"

And he was gone and if Higgins wasn't infront of her, staring at her with that bewildered look only spooked squirrel could do she would have stood up and do a cartwheel on her carpeted floor because holy fucking shit Ted is going to cook for her, just for her, not like those times where they eat together on the locker room and she has to sneakily steal his lunch - tho she knows Ted wouldn't mind Beard is another problem, she still thinks Beard has a few dead bodies on his back, the man has a stare of a despondent convicted murderer inside a prison cell. Its crazy.

"Oh." Higgings blink rapidly, his mouth subtly and slowly forming a smile. "You and Ted?"

She squinted her eyes "We're friends"

"Not with that look in your eyes, no"

"What did you eat today to have you acting this cheeky, my dear Higgins?" She looked at him up and down with a scowl.

The man let out a grin

"I should be the one asking that" he then leaned in "or should it be 'who did you meet today that have you acting this lovesick, my dear y/n?"

She flush red "You're fired"

"That'd be the 205 times you've fire me and I will continue to ignore it as long as I live"

"The first time i did that you sobbed on my shoulder"

"Well its.." he looked away "it was a different time"

"Sure it was"

____________________________________

"Look what we have 'ere-"

"JESUS, ROY!" She had jumped 2 feet from where she stood, clutching her heart and her car keys.

"What the hell man!"

"What? You got yourself an American man and suddenly you're weak of heart?"

"That doesn't even make any sense.." she mumbled with a disturbed look as she stared at him. "What are you even doing here? and I dont have an American man, get your head straight"

"Its a fucking parking lot, im allowed to be here" He commented with a glared as he not so softly leaned on her car.

She sighed through her nose, annoyed. "What i meant was, why the fuck are you even standing about in here and suddenly appearing from the darkness like a...hairy angry batman"

"Im not fucking hairy!"

"you shed like a golden retriever, you're not fooling anybody!"

Roy, the dog, growled in annoyance before he blocked her way to the driver seat.

"Please move or ill yell bloody murder" she stated suddenly so so exhausted.

"Why actin' so rush? Got somewhere to be?" She squinted his eyes at him, suspicious and contemplating why is he being such a dick.

"Why are you talking to me like you're about to take my lunch money?"

Roy, with the little patience he has, growled once again before he shook his head, as if he was the one getting annoyed and tired on the conversation. Then he stared at her, right on the eye, as if wanting to burn her soul and cook her alive.

"Youre really not going to tell me?" He had asked, hands on his hips.

"Is that how it is?"

"What?" She ask, confused.

"You and Ted" Her eyes widen, what is he on about?

"Me and Ted? What about us?"

"Higgin-" he cleared his throat "I mean, someone told me you and the little prick was getting all chummy in your office. Even got yourself a fucking date, how lovely"

She sighed "there wasn't a date Roy, Ted and I are friends. And we aren't getting 'chummy' or whatever kind of meaning that word has in your vocabulary and tell Higgins-"

"It wasn't higgings"

"-tell him to keep his damn nose out of my business or ill key his car"

Roy stared at her for a long second before he clenched his jaw and mumbled a 'fuckkkkk'

"We're-" he swallowed before he looked upwards to the sky, as if begging the gods above to give him more strength. "We're-..f-friends, arent we?" Her eyes soften in both adoration and amusement as he grimaced with every letter he spoke.

She chuckled "we are, no matter how much you disdain that word"

"Then," Roy had sighed "believe me when I say that that cowboy Mr. Rogers is fucking inlove with you"

Suddenly the air felt too thick and her clothes felt too hot. "Roy, i think you're wrong. Ted wanst-"

"Don't you fucking dare tell me he wasn't because a blind bloke could see it in a mile away, he wouldn't fucking shut up about you. fuck sake, He even draws you!" He yelled dramatically, hands shooting in a air in a form of exaggerated irritation that only Roy Kent could do. "Those past few days where you lock yourself up in your bloody office has been the worst days of my entire life, Ted looks constipated half of the fucking time and all he does is broods and broods and fucking complains about you. He's insufferable! Beard has to talk to him in the bathroom to get him straight!" He massage his temple before sighing and looking at her so gently then, so softly, like a brother would, like a friend would do, like someone you can hold onto when life gets though and days gets bad.

"Believe me, he's inlove with you.." he softly said like a whisper.

"In every possible way a human could love, he's inlove with you"

Her breath hitched from her throat, tounge heavy on her mouth and her heart beat could be hear from miles away. The beast inside of her guts fell silent, almost asleep, like his words strike straight to his heart and send him down on the ground, wounded and shaken and could never get back up.

"I came here to.." Roy cut short, finding the proper words. "To tell you how happy I am that he finally work the balls to ask you out, but turns out he's still a fuckin' pussy and a mess of a man"

She chuckled and shook her head.

"Ted is.." She lick her lips and leaned on her car, Roy beside her and shoulder apart.

"I don't think Ted would do the first move, he's..afraid, I think. All his life Michelle was the only woman he knew, only woman he loved and if what you're saying is not true, then she's the only woman he would forever love" she said almost mournfully. "Divorced is hard, specially for someone like Ted who loves too much and give too much, maybe that's the reason why I'm hopeless inlove with him to the point of humiliation but who fucking cares, right?" She shrugged.

She then swallowed before sighing a shaky breath. "I'll uh, ill confessed tonight. While we eat dinner, ill..ill try, and if- y'know, he doesnt like it then I'll back off" she bit her lip as her gaze burn holes to the pavement.

"I'll love him from afar, cheer for him from the stands and sob on my office if I saw him and sassy together again"

Roy chuckled "i remembered that one" reminiscing her worst times of sobbing half dead on her office table mumbling how cruel it is to love Ted and asking what Sassy has that she does not.

"Maybe ill hire a hit man too, have them kill you so you could forget about it" she bumped his shoulder with her own and lightly laugh when Roy grunts.

"I'll write it with my fucking blood, believe that"

"Write it with your chest hair and ill believe it"

"You fucking cunt-"

____________________________________

"Sorry 'bout the mess.." Ted gestured to the perfectly clean living room with a sheepish look. "didn't have time to clean up. I'm just too excited to cook for ya I forgot about everything else"

"That so? Well I'm excited to taste it, I'm sure it'll be wonderful" she smiled at him as she put the bottle of wine down on the marble kitchen bar.

"Oh it'll blow your socks off, its nothin' like the food at Sam's restaurant but its darn good if I say so myself" She watched silently as Ted, adorable adorable Ted, wore his pastel pink apron, tied it around his waist and fluff it with a lovely smile that almost had her clutching her precious weak heart.

"Im sure it'll be delicious" she say, referring more to the cook rather than food. "I like anything you do anyway, so"

Ted glance at her and smile, all dimple and bright eyes. It made her smile too, softly, subtly, like one of those yearning smile that hides thousands of words and promises and hopes and desperation.

Ted went back to his cooking, whistling a tune she swore she heard before. He was telling a story, one about a fish and a basketball and a prom that gone wrong but for the life of her she could not listen.

She thought about her conversation with Roy, the words he had utter that made her want to pour her heart out and confessed to her love. She dont want to be hopeful, being hopeful is nothing but a wish on the wind in this place. It is the poison that rots your mind, that decays the flower and the trees and the grass, break the ground you stood up upon - watch it crumble and crumble until your legs become weak and your bones break from your flesh and you fell ill and sick and cough blood until you die and wish that you should have done better, that you should have stayed quiet and at peace and settle from staring from afar instead of watching your own skin slowly peel away as you continue to hope and hope and hope and watch as the filthy earth swallow you whole and- Jesus christ she should really stop reading those sad terrifying books Nate had been recommending her alot, its ruining her head in the worst ways.

"Ya feel alright?" Ted's voice woke her from her thoughts.

She looked at him furrowed brows and concerned eyes. "Im good, it's nothing"

"We could just watch a movie, you know? Order some good ol' pizza and have a laugh on some bad movies and oh! You know what? we could just watch your favourite-"

"I rather just taste your food, Ted. If you don't mind"

"But you look tired" and there it is again, the puppy look, the vain of her existence. God he's so terrible she kinda want to kiss his face and pinch his cheeks.

She chuckled "arent you sweet"

"Oh gosh! I didnt- darn, I didnt mean it that way, sugar!" He was panicking, going all over the kitchen with his cute apron on and little sauce smudge on his cheeks.

"You l-look tired but y'know still pretty, and cute and-and you know? Please darlin' I didnt mean to offend you i just want to-"

"Hey, hey, hey.." she called out to him with a barely contained humour smile "I get it, I was fucking with you. I'm just joking, calm down"

He slumped dramatically on the counter with a sigh "oh goodness, you had me there. Thought I was gonna loose ya'"

They had talked a little bit, or maybe too much, she couldn't exactly remember how long it was or what it was about but she had know they had laugh and jest and share a few stories of their childhood and back when they're still a foolish teenager who didn't know what they want and where they belong - she still don't know now if she was being honest, she wasn't really the kind of person that plans ahead of time, or give a genuine thought on what she wanted to do in the future and how she will get there but Ted is, Ted knows, Ted understand what he wants and how he will get there and what he see himself on the future and in which place and who he was with, it made her fall a little more inlove with him.

"How was it?" He had asked as he leaned in, nervous and fidgeting.

"Oh gosh please say somethin' I'm about to blow a nerve over 'ere"

She laugh "it was good!" And it is, the best curry she probably had.

"Its perfect, Ted. Even the spiciness is perfect"

He blew out an air "oh thank god, I was so worried ya wouldn't like it! And to be completely honest with ya' I thought I switched up the salt and sugar halfway"

She laugh again, it wasn't even funny, she's just inlove and a complete fool.

Ted started to talk about his day, down to what he had ate for breakfast and how terrible his coffee was 'it tasted like cow piss' his words. He then talked about his theory that Nate is secretly a goverment spy forced to work with him for a very dangerous top secret world breaking undercover mission - when she asked why he think that - 'because nate is a genius and there ain't no way he was a water boy before I came here and coach beard told me he saw nate yesterday slap a fly in a speed of light and didn't even flinch'

It was ridiculous theory but she then remember the amount of gory psychological thriller books Nate has been recommending her for the past few days and a good amount of them involves a spy or two. She wasn't convinced but she'll keep an eye out just incase.

"-it wasn't that much of a big deal"

"You set your school on fire!" Ted had exclaimed rather dramatically, on her opinion, as she told him her high-school tales.

"Thats like- Thats arson!"

"Its not arson if they don't know someone set it on fire" she tap her forehead lightly as if gesturing Ted to see how smart she is. And Ted, bless his heart, actually nodded.

"Youre right, thats smart. Look at ya' getting away with crimes in such a young age!" He grins so beautiful she was actually proud of what her foolish younger self did back then.

"You sounds awfully proud of me bring a criminal"

"Well its kinda awesome and speaking of awesome!--" his eyes was bright and there's a little smudge of sauce near his lips, he looks adorable and loveable and she just suddenly want to kiss him stupid and tell him how much she loves him-

"--Sassy and I are going on date this weekend!"

A glass shattered on the background.

She wasn't adventurous or a sucker for pain and near death experince but if someone had ask her what it would feel like when an arm go through her chest and crush her heart in one fist, she would describe what she's feeling right now in exact gruesome detail that even Nate would vomit on the corner.

She couldn't stop her smile for falling from her lips or the soft disbelief of 'oh' that escape from her tounge, its amazing how a simple two letter words sounded so broken out of the millions she had uttered before.

"Thats great, Ted" she thank every God there is that her voice didn't came out robotic "im happy, you deserve someone who can take care of you"

Ted nodded his head with a grin that is far too wide for his cheeks and then he stared talking, he was saying something but she couldn't hear it, didn't bothered to hear it, she was too busy wondering if the feeling of absence on her chest had been there long before or had just recently appeared now.

"-aint it funny?"

"Yeah" was her response even if she didn't hear any word of it, she avoid his gaze as she wiped her mouth with a tissue and cleared her throat - there's a vile stuck on it that she couldn't seems to swallow.

"Ted, I-uh, I think I'm gonna go home. I'm not feeling very well" she was a liar and a coward but she rather die than cry infront of him - and suddenly she was young again, alone in her room, toes cold from the floor board and clenching her hands into a tight fist and wondering what is it about her that is unlovable.

"Oh, uh, okay" Ted stood up from the table "are you feelin' dizzy? Does your tummy feels funny? Do you wan-"

"I don't" she said firmly, she was upset, mad, not to him but to herself, for even hoping that she could have this. "I don't need anything, thank you" she lied and swallowed the humiliation of even wanting to say everything she wanted to say to him. All those words she wanted to confessed makes her sick to her stomach because how fucking dare she believe she even has a chance? How foolish to even assume she could have Ted?

"Nothing like a good rest would fix" she had stated, hoping to ease his mind but her chuckle came out weak and sad.

"Okay uh, ill walk you to your apartment - I mean, flat, christ-"

"Its okay" she grab her bag "I can walk by myself"

"I don't think its safe-"

"I can handle myself"

"Still, you look a little pale and I can't have a gal like yo-"

"Fucking hell Ted!" She had yelled and the guilt settled on her stomach as soon as she did so.

Ted look at her like she wasn't her, like another person came on his flat with a face of a friend he adores and she wanted to laugh because how could she want to love him and care for him when she could barely be half of a kind person that he was?

"Just- fuck, I got it. I can handle myself just dont-" she sighed through her nose and looked down, she could feel the tears on her eyes and but none of them fell down.

"Just let me be, yeah? I'm not a fucking toddler you need to be coddle all the time"

There's a pause before Ted nods "Okay" his eyes were sad, sadder than anything she had ever saw and it would've break her heart if it weren't shattered before.

She looked at him silently, a second. She almost wanted to say it, say the words, just lay it all on the table and let Ted feast on the remnants of her broken heart and whatever is left. He'll take good care of it, she knows. That's a kind of man he is. Maybe even fix it together with some melted gold.

"Im sorry" Ted was the one who apologized even if she should be the first, it made her guts coil. "I didnt mean to upset you, I was just-just worried. I'm sorry"

She looked down and clenched her fist, dig her nails on her palm.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, I was being a dick and I have no excuse-"

"Youre tired and you're not feeling well, 's okay"

"Its not, Ted" she shook her head "I shouldn't have talk to you like that, you're my-" she swallowed "youre my friend, I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry"

Ted smile, sad and worried all at once. "Its okay, I forgive ya'"

He shouldn't be, atleast not this easily.

"Okay" she nod her head once before she turn to the door with trembling hands.

Ted appeared next to her and held the door open for her. "Be safe, sweetheart"

'Don't' she wanted to whisper but felt too tired to do so.

"Call me when you get home"

"Will do"

The ground was wet as she walked and the road felt much sadder than before, the cold night air beg her for warmth and instead of the heat of her flat her mind travel to the warmth of his hands, of his touch. Y/n briefly wonder how she came to be like this, how she love so fiercely like a beaten dog and dig claw marks on everything she ever love just to watch it be yank away from her as easily as her tears could fall.

#ted lasso #jason sudeikis #ted lasso x reader #fanfiction #ted lasso fanfic #ted lasso fanfiction #ted lasso gif is not mine #possible part two?

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britswriting · 10 months

Text

The Announcement | Quadruple The Love H.S

Follow Y/N + Harry's journey from being a family of two, to a family of six! Also know as, Harry + Y/N have quadruplets! This series will contain blurbs, social media posts, interviews and everything family + fame!

full masterlist qtl masterlist Read on Wattpad

harrystyles and ynstyles

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♡ liked by: annetwist, niallhoran, liampayne, and 3,765,874 others harrystyles: Been busy on break

annetwist: I can't wait!!

gemmastyles: I've already bought onesies 🙈💞

liampayne: Welcome to the club, mate!

ynstyles: You owe me £5 for not spilling the beans!

harryfan1: OMG WHAT

harryfan2: She said.. I'm having your baby! ↳ harryfan3: And it's ALL OF HIS BUSINESS OMG

harryfan4: Guys... we're getting dadrry. I repeat, we're getting dadrry!

ynstyles

•∘∘∘∘

•∘∘∘

∘∘•∘∘ ∘∘∘•∘ ∘∘∘∘•

ynstyles: First trimester diaries! 🍼 First things first, finding out your pregnant, at least.. when you're trying, is the best feeling ever!!!! Harry and I took so many photos and videos (far too personal to share, (See slide four to see me on the verge of screaming and crying over the fact that I'm pregnant lol) you see me cry enough as it is lol) and we sat on the bathroom floor in pure happiness and disbelief. (and a lot of concern on my end..) I couldn't stop looking at my stomach and bubbling nonsense to Harry as we began our true first steps into parenthood. (I'll eventually talk about our journey, but if you're new, it hasn't been an easy one💝) As we watched my stomach grow, we couldn't stop touching it! The idea of feeling a kick, or a flutter... or even just the thought of a baby inside of me; pure happiness. (Pst, Harry sleeps with his hand on my belly and it's my new favorite thing ever!!!! It's so cute!!!) For those wondering, Morning sickness is brutal. I'm already losing sleep, vomiting my guts even in the middle of the night and much to my dismay, awakening Harry every time I scurry to the bathroom. (If Harry looks extra tired on camera, I apologize! - he'll tell me off for this, shh!) Tiredness is unreal. I mean, I figured growing a human would be hard, but I'm convinced I'm asleep more than I am awake. I wake up, vomit, eat some crackers take my meds, sleep repeat. Ultrasounds are the craziest experience ever!! Harry and I lost our minds and Harry's soft smile when we saw the screen is burned in my brain forever. He's honestly already such a good husband but I know he's going to be an even better father! I honestly can't wait!! @harrystyles I love you so much! Thank you for making me a mumma <3

annetwist: Congrats! I'm excited to finally talk about it!

yourbff: I can't believe you didn't tell me for 3 weeks smh ↳ ynstyles: It was unbearable for me too!

comments on this post have been limited

"Love, staring at it won't make the line appear quicker" Harry tried to ease, his hand on my back as my eyes laser locked on the pregnancy test.

"The line has to show at some point!"

Harry snatched the test off the counter, my mouth a gape, ready to throw protest when he grabbed my hand and led me to sit down on the cold tile with him.

"Harry! Give me the test!" I whined, my tear ducts filling as the past couple months of worry begun to spill over.

"Y/N, babe, just sit down with me. We're dong this together, alright?"

I reluctantly sat next to him, Harry setting the test on his thigh, his right hand clasping my left as we stared down at it.

"What if it's just one line?" I asked softly, my biggest fear being vocalized once again.

"Then we'll try again" He repeated instantly, a singular tear rolling down my cheek.

"Harry, it's our sixth round in three years" I cried, my eyes squeezing shut as the emotion left glistening trails down my cheeks.

"Y/N, we don't have to do it again" He told me calmly his thumb rubbing against my knuckles, something he did frequently to quietly soothe me.

"You already know how I feel about adoption" I whimpered, guilt encasing my chest as I slowly opened my eyes, my blurred vision attempting to peak at the test.

"I know" He replied, not offering much else as he starred at the test.

"I'm a horrible person" I begin to cry again, taking my hand out of his as I covered my face.

"You're not a horrible person, y/n"

"What woman doesn't want to adopt, Harry?! We could! We could have already had a family! What kind of person is afraid too adopt?!"

"A person whose thought about every avenue. Y/N, it's perfectly normal to want what you want. Can you open your eyes please when I talk to you?" He asked, His green eyes were full of hope, my throat tightening as I glanced away. "Y/N" Harry warned, getting me to look back at him. "I know you're afraid of everything that comes with adoption, and if it's a huge fear of yours, whether it's that you won't love them the same, or they won't love you, or all of the separation issues you've read about.. it's just a different journey that we'd take together. We'd figure it out. You're not the first person to be nervous to adopt if that's a path we need to consider. However we start our family, is how we start our family. I know having a biological baby means a lot to you, but if that's not where life takes us, I think we both need to prepare ourselves to come to terms with that" He told me honestly, my lips pursed as I nodded.

It was true.

As horrific as it made me feel, I was afraid that if I adopted, I wouldn't love that child the same way I would my own. Maybe it was silly.. but my dream was to always have a baby of my own, and now that it's became an entire ordeal including medical professionals and obsessive calendar counting, I knew I needed to let my brain dance with the idea again... but could I really do that to a child? Bring them into this loving home.. and not love them the way they deserved? Would I ever view that baby as my own? Or would it feel more like a godparent babysitting situation?

IVF has been a rough path that Harry and I have walked down. One we didn't take lightly, and one we definitely probably over researched before even attempting such feat.. but with all the cons.. there were the pros.

So we tried, and we tried, an we tried.... and we gave up. Adoption maybe? Foster care? Surrogacy? Egg donors? There was a million routes.. but none of them felt like my dream. I wanted to have sex one night and wake up pregnant the next morning with my husbands child, and I struggle a lot with the fact that that isn't how it's happening.

It would be so easier if I could blame Harry, and his annoying sperm.. but the reality is, Harry is perfectly capiable impregnating someone.

I'm the problem.

Learning that you're supposed sole duty of a period every month wasn't even worth it... definitely landed me in some pretty intense therpary.

There has been more dark days than light for both Harry and I.

I'd be lying if I said divorce had never crossed our minds.

Things got bad, before they got good again and now here I sat next to him, wedding band on my finger as tears streamed down my cheeks, ready to be once again disappointed by my body.

"Can we just see what this test says and go from there, please?" I asked quietly, Harry nodding. "Can you look? My eyes are blurry"

I did my best to clear my vision when I heard the inhale of Harry's sharp breathing.

"What?" I asked, panic making my body tense. "What?!"

"It's two lines! Y/N! You're pregnant!" He practically yelled, my entire body stilling.

"What?"

"YOU'RE PREGNANT!" He yelled, scurrying off the floor, helping me up and yanking me into a hug and a kiss.

"Oh my god" I exhaled, my vison thankfully clearing as I snatched the test, seeing the two pink lines for myself.

"That has to be fake" was my immediate reaction as I held the test up to the light, the pink line darkening right in front of me. "Where is the clearblue one?" I asked Harry, Harry's arms wrapping around me, his palms resting against my stomach as I pulled open one of the drawers, finding my stash of pregnancy tests.

The drawer was probably my most opened drawer in the entire household; which meant it was also my most hated.

All it held was dreams and disappointment.

"Can you grab me a few water bottles, please?" I asked, setting the test aside as I opened one of the more expensive pregnancy test boxes.

"Baby, it's so dark" Harry showed me, crease lines between his brow as his dimples pops from the smile he had.

"I know, I know.. I just.. want to be sure. I need to pee again! Water, please!"

Three water bottles later, I found myself peeing on yet another stick and plopping the capped test onto toilets paper on our counter.

I hated waiting.

"Babe, are you going to look?" Harry asked, a goofy smile still on his face as he leaned against the door frame.

"What if the test was wrong?" I asked again eyeing the drugstore pregnancy test next to Harry.

"Baby, they're supposed to be one of the most accurate tests"

"But false positives are a thing!" I shouted, shaking my hands as I paced the space between the toilet and the bathtub.

"Y/N" Harry sighed, "I know you're worried, and we can make a doctors appointment to verify.. but baby, I think this is it. I think we've done it"

I hesitantly walked up to the counter, my eyes locked on my mess of a reflection in front of me before slowly finding the test.

"Oh my god" I exhaled, the bold "pregnant" staring back at me. "Harry!" I quickly showed the test, a smile starting to form at my lips as my eyes welled up with tears again, "I.. we're... oh my god!" I shrieked, jumping a little as I waved the test next to me.

I quickly pulled out my phone, the video shaky as ran over to Harry, kissing him before showing the test to the camera.

"We're pregnant!" I yelled out, Harry grinning as he leaned down to kiss me again, the video stopping and I turned to the camera, Harry snatching the drugstore test, both of us holding up the tests as we took countless photos before posting in the mirror, taking all sorts of different angles of my belly.

I can't believe we're pregnant.

"I told you you weren't fat" he chuckled as we inspected my bloated stomach.

"I'm fat with your baby!" I laughed, my hand running over the puffy skin. "God, I'm going to get more stretchmarks"

"Good thing you married a man who happens to love them" He pecked my cheek, his hands on my hips.

"We need to make a doctors appointment pronto and make sure these tests are correct" I informed, setting the plastic test on the counter.

"Baby..."

"I know, I know! I just.. I want to be sure, okay?"

"I know. I love you no matter what, but I really think this time.. this time is it"

🍼

Hello! I've had this idea for a while, and I thought it would be fun to make kind of an open ending series? Meaning we can work on this for as long as we want! From finding out, to their birth, and just watching them grow up! If you have any requests, feel free to ask! I don't plan on posting them in order (like birth, growing up etc), but I will have them posted in (hopefully) chronological order in the masterlist!

Feel free to leave requests in the comments or on my ask via my profile!

If you have any baby names, let me know! I have the sex's picked out, but not the names!

I wanted to make this longer, but Tumblr has a 10 photo limit so...

I'm hoping as I get into it, I can write the blurbs better, just with their storyline, it was a bit hard to make it very happy and fluffy lol.

Welcome to my Quadruplet series! (I might post it on wattpad, I'll update the masterlist with a link if it is!!)

pst. my little circles won't stay where I want them to, if you know how to fix that lmk, otherwise we can both be annoyed together!

-Brit <3

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ficthots · 9 months

Text

Bonded: Chapter Five

A/N: Well hello everyone! I know it has been a hot minute since I've posted. Life gets hectic every once in awhile and I apologize for my absence. The slow burn is getting better! As always let me know what you guys think and enjoy!

Word Count: 6.5K+

Chapter Four, Chapter Six

There was no sound explanation to what had happened the night before. It wracked your brain for days, producing a horribly eerie sense of paranoia. Constantly looking over your shoulder to see if someone, that man in particular, was lurking in a corner, memorizing your movements from afar.

You were careful to not mention the occurrence to either your ladies-in-waiting or an Order official like General Waylan. It was consuming you whole, the hair on the nape of your neck permanently standing at attention. You ended up trying to see if that drink of choice from dinner that evening all those nights ago was known for being a hallucinogen. Nothing. Perhaps after consuming it in large portions like you had? No. You had ended up reaching a dead end in your research.

It was proving difficult to sleep. Staying up at night, trying to see if there was a secret entrance to your room that perhaps only the Supreme Leader had access to. You had torn your room upside down the morning after the vision. Calista and Tamsyn were shocked when they entered your quarters and saw the state your room was in.

There were no clues, no hidden hatches, nothing to give way to an answer. Trying to plan the final open house of the season had been placed on the back burner for you. In fact, it wasn’t on your mind at all. Handing things over to Kenzoto manage for you while you tried to get to the bottom of this. To ease yourself back to a place of normalcy.

The worried whispers and gazes did not fall on deaf ears with you. You had heard them, listened to their explanations, and then went back on your own hunt. Another restless night was ahead of you, eyes wide open, staring at the darkened ceiling, mindlessly counting the tiles once again, when the familiar sensation from before washed over you.

Like being transported somewhere else while not moving an inch. The echoes of another voice and their thoughts bounced in your head. Your hands began trembling, sweat beading on your forehead and upper lip. Fear wracked your body, squeezing your eyes shut, trying to will this to stop.

“Dove? Are you awake?” You knew that voice, recognized it immediately. Refusing to open your eyes and see if he was the one standing at the foot of your bed, you lay completely still. Your heart was racing, the blood rushing in your ears still couldn’t drown out the voice that lingered behind.

After laying in silence for a fleeting moment, you thought he might have left or stopped whatever this was. Peeking your eyes open, your breath caught in your throat in a choked sob as you witnessed the towering figure looming over you.

Hand clamping down over your mouth, your eyes darted to the securely closed door, the servants entrance also still locked from the inside. How did he get into your room? Again?

Your weak and meager voice broke through the barrier, but it too registered just like his. A distant voice being carried through an open space that you could not recognize. “Wha-what do you want? How are you doing this?” Willing your voice to remain even and steady, you questioned him.

His eyes squinted, looking around before settling back on you. “Can you see my surroundings? I can’t see yours.” Shaking your head, you pulled your covers up slightly higher on your frame. “You-you’re in my room, Kylo. What do you mean you can’t see my surroundings?”

Irritation started to lick and seep into your words. He was the one who entered your space, frightening you in the dead of night, and now he was teasing and harassing you? Yet, he only hummed in contemplation as a response.

When you blinked again, your eyes darted to your door, hearing footsteps approaching on the other side. As you looked to where the shadow of him once was, he was gone, vanished entirely before your eyes. An entity of your imagination.

Your bedroom door flew open, a worried Layana standing in the doorway. “Em-empress, are you alright? Who were you speaking to?” She looked around at the room, seeing that you were entirely by yourself.

Shaking your head, you laid back down in utter disbelief. You didn’t respond to her, letting her leave on her own. You had turned and faced away from where she stood, staring out at the vast space before you.

You counted the ships leaving and entering the hangar to lull yourself to sleep that night. It didn’t work.

Pushing the food around on your plate, General Waylan spoke excitedly about something you had stopped listening to the moment he sat at your dining table. All you could think about was Kylo. How he had disappeared right before your eyes.

It reminded you of your fifth birthday party. Of course, growing up as a royal meant having more extravagant events, not silly childish birthday parties, but after too much begging your parents finally caved.

Entertainers from all over the galaxy were hired to put shows on for you and your friends in the palace gardens. The one that had drawn your attention most was someone who claimed to be a wielder of magic.

His silly tricks had done little to impress the princess, but he assured you he had saved the best for last. Putting a small creature into his bag, you couldn’t recall the words he used or the story he told, but your eyes blew wide when he turned the bag upside down and there was nothing in there.

A magician.

Perhaps that was what Kylo was. An odd hobby for the Supreme Leader, but maybe that’s what it was. A hobby of some sort? Yet, what did he mean he couldn’t see your surroundings? You knew that the Supreme Leader was odd. Secrets and rumors littered the Order and speaking honestly, the entire galaxy, about special abilities he possessed. You weren’t aware of what these powers were, but they were being used to seemingly stalk you at night.

It began to fill your thoughts. The idea that maybe magic was real. That there were in fact people around us that were able to wield the magic and bend it to their whim. All of those fairy tales could be true from your childhood bedtime tales.

Would Kylo be in a fairy tale though?

Dropping your fork to your plate, it left your mouth hurriedly. “General, what can you tell me about Kylo Red?” You had cut him off mid-sentence, startling him. His eyes fell down to his nearly empty plate, wiping his mouth with the cloth napkin before setting it back on the tabletop.

“What would you like to know, Empress?” Leaning back in the wooden chair, you shrugged. “What is that thing that sits on his hip?” He followed your lead, resting back in his chair casually. A small sigh escaped his lips before speaking. “A light saber.”

The word was foreign on your tongue. “Light saber? Is that a weapon?” It was one of the things you had noticed last night when he somehow visited you once more. It was bulky, but as you thought more of it, the more you realized it was always in his possession.

Waylan nodded. “Yes. It is a special type of weapon that only a select few individuals get to adorn.” Browns furrowing, you leaned forward on the table, eyeing the General. You didn’t mean to speak so bluntly, but you did. “Because of his powers, right?”

The General laughed, but agreed. “His powers, yes. They are not what you would describe as powers though. Do you know of the Force?” It rang a bell in the deep crevices of your memory, perhaps having learned about it in education long ago.

“I’ve heard of it, yes. He has the Force?” You weren’t even sure you were using the term correctly. General Waylaninterlinked his fingers, resting his hands on the cool wood of the table top, pushing his plate back. “The Supreme Leader is a Force user. Has been since he was just a child, but he uses the Force to aid him in his missions as the Supreme Leader.”

Gnawing on the inside of your cheek, you narrowed your eyes. “What can the Force do?” His head cocked at your question, obviously wondering where the sudden interest in the Force, let alone Kylo, was perplexing to him.

“Why? Do you have something in particular in mind?” Battling within yourself and wondering if you should just tell him, you ultimately decided to be as vague as possible. “Would it allow someone to be in a place where they are not?”

His aging hand rubbed at his graying beard, thinking it over in his head. “I’ve never heard of that. Why do you bring up that example?” Trying to mask your curious mind, you plastered a large smile on your face. “No, this is just fascinating to me and I am not well versed about the ways of the Force.”

General Waylan immediately bought your excuse. “Ah, well a curious mind you do indeed have, Empress.” The General departed only minutes prior, letting your thoughts consume you as you rushed off to your office.

You spent the next two days straight going through every book and file you could get your hands on. Yet, it all led to not. There was little to no information about the Force or the users at all. Only an occasional sentence here and there, buried deep within the contents of whatever you were perusing.

What did that leave you with then? What answers or rational conclusion could you come to with what little you had to go on?

Sleep deprivation.

That was all you could assume it was. Trying to reason and rationalize with yourself, you remembered watching him leave your residence just a bit prior to seeing him in the corner. It was a dream or a nightmare. More likely a hallucination than anything, but given it had happened two nights where you could admit being more than tired, your brain had given you this strange vision.

You had spent too much time dwelling on it. Even missing your mother’s departure just the day after the first hallucination. Kenzo’s plate had become loaded down with tasks that you had been all but neglecting during your obsessive rampage.

When you finally walked into your office, seeing Kenzo worriedly sorting through papers, electronic files, and you could see his data pad lighting up with various event tasks, you felt horrible for leaving this all to him for as long as you had. How long had it even been? A week? Two weeks? You didn’t have the slightest clue, but it didn’t matter.

Walking towards him, you grabbed a catalog sitting on the edge of the desk, you quickly flipped through it. “Ah, Empress, that is for-” you cut him off, pointing at the centerpiece. “We need forty of these ordered and expedited here. Is the guest list finalized? What have we decided in regards to catering?”

A breath of relief exhaled from Kenzo, standing from your seat and filling you in on all of the details you had missed. You sat in that chair for countless hours that night, making finalized plans and executing your decisions as quickly as possible.

The final event of the season was fastly approaching which meant hours, days, and weeks passed in a blur or lists, meetings, and trips. Not being able to recall the last night you had been able to sleep soundly in your own bed, enjoyed your own bath, or ate the food you so desperately craved.

Having missed the amount of time you had, it meant you were continuously playing catch up. Tasks that should have been handled weeks ago were still sitting at the top of your lists. Invitations sent late, but more confirmed attendees then the last meant hosting an event so large it was near record breaking for the Order.

A small blessing in disguise honestly. With you being as busy as you were meant that Kylo and you were not interacting. You simply weren’t around enough to bump into him, cross paths with him, anything of the like.

This was the event that was going to catapult you into the next phase of your work. A massive party, as many Order officials as possible to fill the halls of the magnificent venue you had chosen. Nearly every planet you could think of was sent an invitation to attend.

Nearly all had agreed.

Following this open house, you were going to be embarking on a galaxy tour. One that would take you to the farthest corners of the galaxy to observe where these individuals called home. Your list was growing so fast and so long you were worried you would never be able to finish.

The endless possibilities of these new and old alliances excited Order officials in away that you had never seen. Sharing your plans in your meetings, as you updated the ever growing list, eyebrows raised in surprise. Shock evident that you were capable of performing any duties at all to this magnitude.

When they day of had finally arrived, you were eager to get to the venue as quickly as possible and being placing orders on those who needed them most. There was no room for any mishaps or errors tonight. No, this was far too important for even the wrong serving utensils to be placed out.

Heading to the room designated as your getting ready spot, you would let one member do a section of your hair before removing yourself once again to double and triple check on every minute detail. You could easily tell that your ladies-in-waiting were growing frustrated with your antsy tendencies.

Finally, Tamsyn was able to glue you to your seat to begin finishing your touches for the evening before guests were due to arrive shortly. One final walk through before getting dressed, you were pleased to see the decorations almost completely put up around the ballroom. Finishing touches here and there were being completed right before your eyes and the breath of relief that escaped from your lungs was palpable in the room.

It was gorgeous. The dome that covered the dance floor was entirely made of glass, showcasing the wondrous lights of the skyscrapers that surrounded this ancient building. The suns beginning to set had wondrous colourscapes dancing through the glass ceiling setting the room in a warm glow.

While the building itself was large enough to house everyone, it would be tight fit, but the various hallways and gardens would be of great help. Large groups of workers ran around the building, putting final touches on what you pointed out to them. A slurry of specialized suits for the servers dashed around you when your head snapped to the side.

It was there again. The feeling that crawled under your skin and sat deep within your bones. Kylo was in your head again. You had no idea how he was able to do this, knowing he was somewhere else in the galaxy after declining to attend this event as well.

But he was there. Echoing into the blank corners of your mind. Your hands began to fidget, the color entirely draining from your features, unable to peel your eyes away from where they had instinctively gone to.

Calista appeared from behind, drawing you back to the present, and informed you that with the first guests set to arrive shortly, it was of utmost importance to get you dressed. You have no idea how you were able to walk away from where you had been standing, the connection that had been there gone just as it had appeared. Yet, it always left that feeling lingering behind.

There sat the breathtaking gray tulle gown, one shouldered, embellished with dazzling stars over the pillowy skirt. The gold of the stars left dazzling dust behind, trickling down the bodice and onto the top of the skirt. Layana had ensured your hair would be partially up, away from the shoulder of the gown, letting the features be showcased how they were meant to be. It had been custom made for you tonight to put your best foot forward as you encountered many a people who needed the best impression of you possible.

As the final touches were done to your hair, your dress placed on you perfectly, you couldn’t bring yourself to smile at the reflection in the mirror. Feeling as though he was there, standing directly behind you and watching your every move. No one else could see him, but you could. Eyes locked in the mirror. Your hand caught the shine of your simple band that had sat on your ring finger for months now.

Brow slightly furrowing, you moved your hand back and forth as it caught the light, his eyes followed yours as well. When you looked back up, he was gone. The girl quick chatter was mumbled in your ear canals. Your attention only able to feel the slim band as it weighed your hand down. A false facade to put on for the people of the galaxy. Although the marriage itself was in fact quite legal and true, the emotion and feelings were not.

No one knew that you had personally invited the Supreme Leader to the event the week before it was set to occur. You caught him after a committee meeting as he was leaving the room. All others had long since left, but you had stayed back, a small glimmer of hope in you. After announcing how many had planned to be in attendance, you were feeling proud and as though perhaps he too was impressed and would want to be present to see what this was going to entail.

A branch of some sort that you were placing between you both. Asking him to be there, thinking that all of these meetings and random visits over the several months you had been around meant something. What could they mean? That you did not know, but you were willing to find out. Had to find out. For your own sanity and childish hopefulness that still sat deep within.

He looked at you behind the black visor, unmoving before finally responding. “I leave for a mission the day before.” And with that, he left. Not another word muttered or thought. Crushing disappointment you had set yourself up for.

You tried not to think about the reality of your situation too often. The reality of your life. How you were married to a stranger of a person. A person you had seen without his helmet less than a handful of times. Who never showcased a flicker of emotion in the cold case of himself. Someone who hardly spoke to you, just nods as you passed in the halls of the Supremacy. A man who would never be by your side for these public nights. Important events that you had planned, but those details meant nothing to him. A monster that is your husband.

Jumping in your spot, you startled as Tam peeked her head in the door of your room. “Dove, we’re ready for you. Are you alright?” The shift in your demeanor was slim, but because of how long you had known one another, if you breathed the wrong way, she would know. Seeing you were off kilter, had been for weeks, she didn’t understand what was causing it. At times worse than others.

Nodding in response, you turned on your heel, making your way to the large staircase that would lead you to the heart of the party. The music was already loud, hearing the thunderous chatter of party goers, you smiled to yourself at the sound.

General Waylan offered to escort you that night which you gladly agreed to. Your matching gold headpiece was thin but stood at attention on your scalp. A small headband with a halo of stars to match the embellishments of your gown. Waylan offered sincere compliments, but as you began walking down the stairs, the music halted and cheers and clapping erupted below.

Your shocked expression turned to one of surprise as General Waylan began addressing the crowds after it had began dying down to listen to one of the most important men of the Order. One you were proud to call a friend.

“On behalf of the First Order we want to welcome you all to our open house, the final of the season!” More cheers, your own clapping being audible as you stood next to him. “However, I believe the greatest thanks and praise belong to you, Empress.” Turning his attention towards you, he continued on.

“For planning these wonderful events, where we can catch up with old friends, make many new ones, and build relationships that span the galaxy. Becoming one of the most adored faces of the Order, to you Empress, we owe many thanks.” As he finished his small speech, you gave a gracious grin to your friend.

Clearing your throat you began speaking. “Thank you for such kindness and your most generous words, General Waylan, they are not taken lightly. To you all,” turning to face the crowds, your smile only grew, “thank you for taking the time to come and visit after traveling from all across the galaxy, to be here tonight. Your friendship and partnership is the most valuable thing to myself, the Order, and my husband, the Supreme Leader. Please, enjoy the evening! I look forward to chatting with you all.”

Graciously accepting the biggest bow from the crowd and Order officials you had ever seen, you made your way down the final steps and were immediately engulfed in the swarm of people. It wouldn’t be for many hours until you would be able to catch your breath.

The evening was going off without a hitch. No arguments, fights, or anything of the like had happened meaning the heightened security you had ensured would be present was all for not. Engaging in more dancing than you thought possible, it seemed as each dance finished, you were swept up into another. The only reason you had gotten away now was because you claimed to needed to briefly step away to freshen yourself up.

Even still, claims on you for following dances had already been hastily made. These men knew that it was the only way to get your ear for a few uninterrupted minutes. Many under the impression you held the greatest influence over the Supreme Leader and whatever was relayed to you would eventually make its way back to him. How little they knew.

It also meant your feet were screaming in pain and begging for a few minutes of relief. Eyes scanning the crowd as you sipped from your goblet, you weren’t sure who you were looking for, but weren’t surprised when the disappointment wormed its way into your gut anyways.

Snapping out of your thoughts, a dashing older gentleman stood to your side. “Hello Empress.” His accent was thick, one you had never heard before. “Oh! Hello there.” His smooth complexion was not quite human, but not sure what other species he could be. One you had never set eyes on before.

His blonde hair was entirely slicked back, eyes all one deep black, no irises to be seen. He was older, but not old, perhaps middle aged if he were human. When he smiled at you, his teeth were not normal, but you did not want to appear rude and stare. “May I have this next dance, Empress? It seems as though this is the only time I’ve been able to spot you alone all night.”

Immediately agreeing, you let him take your arm and lead you towards the ballroom floor. Your heels echoed on the tiled floor as you once again found your spot in the lines. Directly centered as was the rule for the Empress, you began listening to his vague explanation of his home planet, instead more focused on his people.

“We are a prideful folk, very rooted in…tradition.” He was incredibly soft spoken, even toned, not a raise in his voice even as the music occasionally drowned him out. “Our traditions are what we base our daily living around. The teachings of the elders to us begins from birth and we then assume the role of the elders. It continues this way for all eternity. Our teachings come from the ancient scrolls,” it was at this moment you knew exactly what type of people they were.

Religious groups. Extremists that have been chased away by other societies. Not comfortable with their outrageous ideologies that were harmful to outsiders, they were banished to desolate planets that did not exist on maps. Instead, they live their lives planet hopping, trying to find the answers to ancient questions posed in their texts, killing any and all species and creatures that could stand in their way.

People you knew not to get involved with. Recalling the lessons from your adolescent education as Princess, your father made sure you knew the danger that lurked with these groups. They were rarely spotted in public, let alone at massive events like this. In fact, he was the only one you had seen so far.

Why was he here?

Noting that the dance was drawing to a close within the next minute, you knew the remainder of this traditional dance was finished in close quarters. Trying to remain impartial and calm, your chest was within a hair of his.

His gaze bore into yours, long hands cupping your elbows, growing tighter with each word that left his lips. “Make no mistake, Empress. We will stop at nothing to fulfill our prophecies.” As your eyes widened, beginning to try and pull away from the bruising grip that had began to hurt moments before, it all halted as screams echoed into the air around you.

It was a blur, all that happened next.

The creature’s hands tried to pull you with him, wherever he was going, but was unable to move you. The screams only grew louder as people began rushing all around you in a haste to evacuate the building. Wind filled the once enclosed space. The once glass dome was raining down from above in the most dangerous rainstorm you had ever encountered.

Except, it was not rain that lightly kissed your flesh, but instead tiny and large shards of glass that bit as they cascaded around you. In only another breath, the room spun fast, turning upside down as you tried to understand your surroundings.

Were you upside down?

Only for a brief moment as your back was pressed firmly against anothers. The material was familiar as it brushed along your arms and bare back. The scent you knew too well filled your senses. As you opened your eyes, turning your head to try and get a look at who this was, you had no chance.

Another breath, a new location. A pair of arms wrapped securely around your torso, having flown through the air at a speed you didn’t know was possible. You hadn’t even moved your legs. Your back collided with their chest.

It allowed you the perfect view of what was happening in the ballroom.

There he stood, back to you, but clearer than ever as to who your savior was. People stood rooted to their spots in fear at the sight of him while others rushed to leave the building as hastily as possible. Realizing now that all exit points were secured by none other than the Knights of Ren. There stood Ren himself.

His light saber ignited in a flash of fury, rising far above his head before moving down towards the man that had just been dancing with you only seconds prior. Your hands held firm to the forearms that rested on your stomach. Gasping as you saw the blonde head roll to the side of the room, the dark eyes looking directly at you.

Whoever held you began moving in a hurry with you still in his grasp, acting like you weighed nothing, just another weapon in his artillery. You knew it was a Knight you were with, but which one was still a mystery to you.

Attempting to catch your breath as you enter an unfamiliar ship, you finally croaked out a response. “Vic-Vicrul?Wha-what's happening? What wa-was that?” Your thoughts were coming out faster than you could speak, trying to catch your breath.

He ignored you entirely, getting the ship out of there as fast as humanly possible. Understanding that his main priority was getting you to safety, you couldn’t help but pester him with questions. All of which went unanswered.

What happened? Who was that? Why were you all there? How long had you been there? Why won’t you answer me? Is Kylo in danger and in need of help?

That last one had a small chuckle escape under his breath at your ridiculous questioning. While you were happy he thought this was a joking matter, you did not. “Victual, as your Empress I demand an answer! Now!” Your raised voice shook with seething anger, hands trembling as you tried to piece things together.

His masked head slowly turned towards you, only giving you this response before returning to utter silence. “The Supreme Leader did his duty.” You sat immediately after, stewing in your own silence, trying to understand what the hell that meant.

When you touched down on the Supremacy, you hurried towards your residence, but were met by your ladies’ worried and fearful expressions in a hallway. They embraced you hurriedly, Tamsyn cupping your cheeks and checking you for any serious wounds.

“Goodness, how are you? Are you okay? We need to bandage your arms, but otherwise are you okay? Thank the stars you aren’t more injured. We heard about the incident when they came and searched here.” Your brows drew inward at her words. “When who searched here?”

Layana spoke next. “The Knights. They searched here first before going to the event. Orders of the Supreme Leader they said.” Your jaw set, nostrils flaring in anger. Feeling your blood boiling, you pushed through the girls and continued towards your residence. They followed on your heels closely, badgering you with questions about the events that had transpired.

As you informed them of the evening, leaving out the heroic entry of Kylo, the girls worked slowly at removing all of the bits and pieces from your intricate hairstyle, excess jewelry, and gaudy makeup. Layana stood at attention when an Order official made her way into your chambers, requesting your lady in waiting.

When she reappeared only a minute later, her wide eyes were unsure of what to tell you. “Empress?” You hummed in response as Tamsyn went to pick your night clothes, Calista still trying to find all remaining pieces in your hair. Your headpiece had fallen from the crown of your head when Kylo had flipped you. “The Supreme Leader is here and has requested a private word with you.”

Eyes locking with hers in your vanity mirror, you nodded after a brief moment of silence from all in the room, sending all three of them out of your chambers via the servers entrance and announced he was allowed into your chambers. As he stepped into your room, the doorway was seemingly dwarfed by his presence.

His all black garb made him stand out from the white furniture and decor in your quarters. “Layana said you wished to speak with me?” You posed to him as you continued removing your hair from the styling, the pins that she had missed, but you could still feel.

“You are upset?” His calm and even tone hardly sounded like a question. Perhaps an observation of your motions and movements, which led him to believe you were…annoyed with him? The door was firmly shut behind him, you knew all workers in your quarters had filed out the second he stepped inside, so you went with your emotions.

Speaking through gritted teeth, your gaze never lifted to his. “Angry is more accurate.” He did not move, did not speak again, simply watching you. When your eyes finally bounced up to his, he took the chance to speak. “About?” Still no hint of emotion, seemingly staring into a droids face as your blood boiled over.

This was one of the longest conversations you had ever had with him. He was acting as though this was an entirely normal encounter between you two. As though he hadn’t cast you adrift the moment you were legally bound to him for the rest of your days.

Exploding in frustration, you decided this was your only chance to voice your complaints. Not knowing when if ever you would have another chance like this to speak privately with him where you held more control than ever before.

“About? You have got to be toying with me, Kylo! For star’s sake, I have everything to be angry about! How you knew the exact moment to be there when things went awry? The fact that for months and months I have been here and have been ignored and belittled by you and your men. Dealing with your ridiculous mood swings that border on child like behavior. The work I have been putting in here has been exhausting and you show not one ounce of appreciation or thanks. That I am your wife and have been treated as some commoner to you! We do not even reside in the same sector of the ship! We have dined together once before in our entirety of marriage. You dare ask me what I am angry about? Everything! I am angry about everything, Kylo!”

Catching your breath, you watched as his jaw clicked, knowing it took all restraint he had to not respond mid complaint. His nostrils flared in his own showing of irritation, prickling his skin as you hurled this information at him. Your anger still pummeled you, wanting to say more, but knowing it was best to keep still until he could respond. Knowing you had already signed your death warrant anyways by speaking to him in the fashion you had.

Yet, he was careful, taking his time to conjure up a response to you. Actively attempting not to anger you any more. A show of restraint he had never had to do before. One that he did not know he was even possible of exhibiting.

“Do you know about the Force?” Blinking rapidly, you were confused as to where this had come from. “The For-force? Yes, I have heard of the Force. What does this have to do with anything I just said.” He sat on the edge of the stool by your bed. Removing his gloves, he took his time before speaking again.

Setting his gloves next to him, his dark eyes watched your figure as he began speaking. “I am a Force user. Which means that I am capable of abilities that others do not have.” Your confusion was etched on your face, arms crossed over your chest, leaning on your vanity as you listened.

“It comes from my family lineage. My grandfather was the greatest Force user to ever exist. I will surpass him in that sense. That is my goal as Supreme Leader.” You didn’t have time to respond as he continued speaking. “The Force, at times, does things that make little to no sense. I try to make sense of these things by way of meditation. It is a large sector of my training. It is a large portion of my missions.” He was explaining things to you that you never thought he actually would take the time to speak with you about. You knew to remain silent to let him speak further. More than you had ever received from him before.

“There is a part of the Force called a bond. Do you know what a Force bond is, Empress?”

Shaking your head hesitantly, you saw him slightly nod before lightly sighing, jaw clicking one more. “It can happen between two Force sensitive individuals. It is rare when two people are connected in such a way via the Force. In fact, it is exceptionally rare.” He paused, as if he was trying to word things before talking again. Eyes locking on yours from the small distance you shared in the room, his nostrils flared. “It is entirely unheard of for it to happen between one Force user and one non-user, nor even remotely sensitive.”

Your heart was racing, pounding uncontrollably in your chest as you listened to his every word. His eyes never left your own, trying to determine your reaction despite your cool demeanor still.

His next words were ones you never expected to hear from anyone, let alone KyloRen. It was like everything had stopped at that moment, forever changing your life from that moment forward. “We are bonded. In a way that I do not understand. I was unaware of it until the day I landed on Bar'leth and it was…powerful.”

As your brain began connecting dots, Kylo continued through gritted teeth. “Too much. It distracted me,” you breathed out a response, sitting in your stool. “Which is why we did the private ceremony.” He only nodded, jaw set, before releasing a shaky breath.

“It has been distracting me ever since. I have fought with my entire being to ignore it, but during training and meditation it is all that occurs and fills my mind. When we were leaving on our mission there was something screaming at me that you were in some sort of danger. It was why I connected with you before you went downstairs, to check to see if everything was okay. It didn’t go away, even after I had seen you. I sent the Knight’s and troopers to search your residence and when they found nothing, we went to the event. Which is why we got there when we did.”

The explanation you had been waiting for. Fingers nervously picking at each other, you spoke in a hardly audible way. “Why did you not tell me this, Kylo?” He shot up from his seat, crossing the room to you, encroaching on your space. Your neck craned to keep eye contact with him as he approached you.

“Because I didn’t want to. I thought I could ignore it, but it will no longer let me.” Your eyes narrowed at him, a loud, exasperated breath expelling from your lungs. “What does this all mean? You tell me this elaborate tale of why I’ve been treated so poorly, because of some thing I’ve never heard of that we apparently are tied together from. What do you want me to do with this?” You spoke hurriedly, but halted when his warm hands grabbed yours.

He swallowed thickly, taking a beat before uttering his response. “To give me an opportunity to try again. I know not to ignore the Force.” You fought the tremble that was becoming present in your body, temperature spiking at what he was about to say to you.

“Can I try again, my Empress?”

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