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kyloswarstars · 4 years

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The Shelby Family Teleported Through Time • Part 1

„To the Invasion of the Roman Empire“

Peaky Blinders • Series AU • Shelby!Reader

It seemed like all of your siblings barely had any time left for the family. You wanted to fix it all up and get back to what the Shelby siblings once were. At the Lee’s campsite you are gifted an ‚enchanted amber‘, along with the promise that it would help you get closer to your siblings again. Never did you think it would teleport you into another time: being faced by more problems than before.

Words • 4.3k

A/N • I’m excited to share this with you! Lemme know what you think about it! 🌚 and thanks to my bf and beta @buried-in-books.

TSFTTT • masterlist

/////

Life was good. Most of the times at least.

Life was good, when you were allowed to move in with John and Esme in their house on the countryside. You were able to have fun times with the kids, or help out with chores, or watch them while Esme and John needed some time to themselves. They annoyed you with their screaming in the mornings, but at least they were a reliable alarm clock so you could do your favorite thing at John’s: go feed the chicken and collect the eggs.

Life was good, when Finn arrived there for the weekends and you could go on your little adventures into the woods. As kids, you went treasure hunting for everything the forest provided. Twigs you used as swords. Leaves you later pressed between book pages. But your favorite treasure? Stones. There had been times back in Small Heath, whenever you picked up a stone and put it in your pockets, other kids would make fun of it. Finn had always been there to pick up another stone and throw it at the bullies. You weren’t little kids anymore, so your strolls to the forest were accompanied by a bottle of whiskey, Isiah and a lot of foolish ideas.

Life was good, when you were not only with Finn but all of your siblings. And that was the problem. Lately, none of them had really the time to actually be with the family.

You sat on the steps of Zilpha’s caravan. Esme had brought you with her to the Lee’s campsite and was currently talking to her mother. Zilpha was supposed to tell Esme more about the baby growing in her belly. You looked at them, grinning at each other and then erupting into a loud chat again. It made you smile.

You liked it here like always, but you’d rather go and sit in the woods with Finn and get drunk right now. This morning, the idea of spending the day with the Lee’s seemed like the highlight of your week. Now, you couldn’t keep yourself from brooding over the situation with your siblings again, and it made you… sad. And it wasn’t even Friday, so Finn wouldn’t even come out of town. Great.

„Don’t you want to join us?“ Zilpha was walking up to you and stopped before she took the steps into her caravan.

You shook your head with a smile.

She didn’t hesitate and sat down next to you, her eyebrows pulled together. „What’s wrong, my child?“

„I…“ Life was not always good. Since living with John and his family it had gotten a lot easier for you, your temper being at a low level and your mood pretty static, though with some exceptions, but you knew how to handle them by now. You just couldn’t get your mind off of the fact that your siblings were drifting away from you and you didn’t know how to stop it. „Do you know when your family doesn’t feel like your family anymore?“

„Yes, my dear.“

„Everyone is heading into different directions, which isn’t automatically a bad thing, but sometimes I feel like they don’t care as much for our family anymore. It’s always been us six – and I want that sibling bond back we once shared.“

Zilpha looked like she was thinking intensely about possible solutions to your problem. „What about sitting down with them and talk about it?“

„They are Shelby’s,“ you started and, despite it actually being pretty sad, it somehow made you laugh. „If I were able to sit them down all at once, they wouldn’t listen. Not to me.“

Again, her face scrunched in until a faint smile came to her lips. „Wait a second.“ She got up and disappeared into her caravan. You heard some drawers being opened and closed again. Zilpha walked down the steps with her fist closed around something. When she sat down next to you again, she reached out for your hand and placed something in it. With her hand above it, preventing you from seeing it yet, her smile got even wider. „Maybe this will help you to bring your siblings closer together.“

She pushed your hand back to you and removed her hands. A big, odd-shaped amber was laying in the palm of your hand. It was set in a thick golden frame, attached to a necklace. You held it up between your fingers. The amber itself sparkled already but when the sunlight hit it, you noticed all the little gold particles enclosed.

„It’s an enchanted amber. When your thoughts, about the things you want to change, are strong enough, you’ll get a chance to change them.“

It wasn’t like you didn’t believe in cards or curses – but how could this little stone, combined with some wishful thinking, be able to fix your family issues?

With a thankful smile you handed it back to Esme’s mother. „I can’t take it.“ Besides the fact that you couldn’t believe a stone could solve a problem other than scaring away some bullies when it’s thrown at them, the stone seemed far too valuable.

„It’s a wandering stone, Y/N. It’s meant to help those who need it.“ She opened the necklace, put it around your neck and closed it there. „Trust me, it’s not meant to lay in one of my drawers forever.“

Her words felt warm. And they didn’t leave much room for protest. She wouldn’t take it back. After all those years and the many weekends spent with the Lee’s, Zilpha felt like an aunt just as much as Polly was. Both were very stubborn women.

/////

The amber didn’t leave your neck anymore. Not even when you went to bed. Zilpha’s words faded but the beauty of the stone stayed as the weeks went on. Stones.

Finn had noticed it. He thought you had a secret admirer and almost asked Isiah if it was him – which would’ve been bloody awkward. He didn’t, though. When you told him about how you got it, he pushed you to try it but you didn’t do it. It just seemed too far out of the possible area of supernatural things that could happen. Nothing could make the Shelby siblings get closer to each other again, other than themselves.

One day, though, you were back in Small Heath – John had asked if you wanted to come along when he sensed you were not doing too well. Your mood had dropped within the last days and this time you weren’t really able to handle it.

You had put the kettle on and waited for the water to boil. Finn was sitting with Ada at the kitchen table. She visited from London and you were happy John was able to convince you to come with him.

„Y/N!“ Ada was waving for your attention. You had stared at the cups in front of her and Finn on the table. Loosening your glance from it, you looked at your sister. „Do you wanna come down to London with me?“

Your first thought to her question was: Did Finn spill your private shite and now she asked out of pity?

„Um–“ The kettle started to whistle and allowed you to be able to escape the question. You brew the tea and sat down with the pot.

„So do you? I would love to have you. And Karl as well, I’m sure of that!“ She squeezed your hand over the table and you noticed Finn trying to not meet with your eyes. He did tell her. Nevertheless, Ada’s smile and her warm hand made the initial feeling of pity vanish.

Before you could answer, Arthur and John burst into the kitchen, followed by Tommy. John was, for whatever reason, carrying a rifle and Arthur tried to grab it from him. The boys were so loud, you couldn’t understand the words Ada was directing at you. She then shouted at them to be quiet.

„Don’t shut us up when we have to solve who’s gonna get that gun.“ Arthur seemed a little abrasive.

„It’s mine, Arthur.“ John’s grip around the riffle was tight.

Tommy tried to defuse the situation but it didn’t really work out. Instead, he let himself get dragged into the fight. Ada repeatedly shouted at them to behave and Finn was chewing on some biscuits while watching the fight unfold.

Their voices triggered your brain to be flooded with all the thoughts that had kept following you through the last couple of months. They would never just be okay with each other. Every time you were all together, a simple discussion would turn into a fight and leave everyone frustrated.

Your fingers played with the amber around your neck. It had become a habit. The surface of it was the perfect level of smoothness for your thoughts to run a little slower when you brushed over it.

As the loud voices kept bickering with each other, your hand closed into a fist around the amber. You wanted them to be decent for once. You wanted to have a good time with your siblings without it breaking into a scuffle. The fingers around the amber were slowly starting to hurt but you couldn’t loosen the grip. You wanted your siblings to become siblings again which cared about each other and stuck together when times were hard – not drifting apart and leave everyone to their own fate.

You wanted your family.

But what happened next was far from everything you ever wanted.

Your surroundings began to blur, your head became dizzy with the strongest headache you had ever felt. Your stomach twisted, as if you’d have to throw up any second. The moment you bent forward to vomit, you didn’t look down at the kitchen floor like it should’ve been – you looked down onto grass. And fell face forward down to it when the chair, you were sitting on, vanished into thin air.

You noticed several thuds around you. Pushing yourself from the grass, you sat up and saw your siblings doing the same.

Green was everywhere around you. It spread as far as you could see with your still-blurry eyes. Small hills were surrounding you with some lonely trees and a lot of tall bushes that were plastered in large groups like they were discussing something. You swore to yourself that a few seconds ago you had been sitting in the kitchen at Watery Lane. This is a dream, you tried to convince yourself.

The puzzled, deeply confused looks of your siblings, taking in the surroundings, made you question if you had gone insane. Were you actually in a ward and having a really lively episode of hallucinations?

„Shite what did just happen?“ John was getting up on his feet, the rifle tightly in his grip. He was frantically circling around himself.

Arthur pushed his hair back and stood next to him. „I swear to fucking hell if one of ya’ knocked us out and drove us to the countryside, thinking this would be a good prank, I’ll kill ya’!“ His eyes widened as he turned to John. „John Boy was that you? Because I wanted that rifle?“

„I swear I didn’t do shite,“ he defended himself instantly.

You slowly rose to your feet, the rest of your siblings doing the same. They seemed too realistic to be imagined. Right?

Tommy was silently observing the green around you. He didn’t respond when Arthur accused John on pulling a prank again and asked for Tom’s backup. For a second Tommy was looking at you. His glance stopped at the hand you had still wrapped around the amber.

The amber.

„Fuck.“ You gasped and shut your eyes. It’s an enchanted amber. When your thoughts, about the things you want to change, are strong enough, you’ll get a chance to change them. This was supposed to be the chance? Sitting in the kitchen and being ripped out of it the next second, landing on a hill? This little stone couldn’t possibly do stuff like this. Things like this shouldn’t work. But it did. Didn’t it?

„I think I’m responsible for us being here,“ you blurted out. Removing your eyes from the stone in your hand, you found your siblings turning towards you. Five death stares were burning holes into your body.

„What the heck did you do?“ John walked over and hovered in front of you. He probably didn’t mean it, but his furious question scared you a little.

„However you did it bring us back,“ Arthur insisted and perfectly adapted John’s face.

Ada and Finn didn’t say anything since you landed on this grassland. Just like Tom. They were just as confused as John and Arthur. Just like you.

„Guys.“ Finn dragged the word for at least three seconds. With a hand above his eyes he stared into the distance. He lifted his arm to point at what he had found on a remote hill. „What is this?“

Tommy was shoving himself to the front of the pile your siblings and you had built. His eyes weren’t the best anymore, you knew that, but his glasses couldn’t help him right now because they were only for reading. „John, give me the rifle.“

„It’s mine,“ he tried to keep it, only to flinch at Tommy’s sudden outburst.

„Give me the fucking gun!“ Grabbing it from John, he placed the gun against his shoulder to look through the scope. Like your other siblings, you tried to make out what those tiny dots were that were coming closer pretty fast. A bad feeling grew in your stomach.

„Hide in those bushes,“ Tommy nervously ordered while turning around and pointing to a gathering of bushes a few feet away. He wasn’t one to easily lose his composure. That was why right now, sensing the slight touch of horror radiating off of him, everyone obeyed.

When you turned, your siblings where almost all hidden in the bushes, only noticeable by loud bickering. You followed them in, Tommy after you. Whoever was coming, Tom thought it would be better if they didn’t see you. That thought was making you anxious. Only some thorns cutting your cheek, when you kneeled down next to Finn, abled you to pull out of the anxiety creeping up on you.

Ada fought with John because he sat on her feet, Arthur was acting like a wasp was circling him because the thorns were all over him. Tommy ssssshhhed everyone.

Through the leaves you saw the dots coming closer. And as they got closer, you realised they were people – not wild horses which you would’ve preferred. Red and silver were dominating their appearances. Feet stomped down on the ground simultaneously.

„This is–,“ Tommy started.

John interrupted: „THE FUCKING CAVALRY.“

„Why do they look straight out of a history book?“ Ada.

„Because they–“

This time Arthur cut Tom off. „Because they are stupid idiots with tin helmets doing God knows what. Did we miss a fucking second war?“

„No, they–“

Finn was ignoring Tommy as well. „I think they don’t look like idiots in particular.“

„Yeah because ya’ know best how idiots look like, eh?“ Arthur retaliated. Finn slapped his arm for it.

„Will you ever shut up?“ You had enough of them not paying attention to Tommy because this feeling in your stomach told you Tom knew who those people were.

Everyone’s eyes were focused on them when they reached your bushes and passed without noticing the Shelby family cowering in them. „This,“ Tommy started once more in the quietest of whispers you had ever heard from him, „is a fucking cohort belonging to the Roman Empire.“

The Roman Empire. This answer was even more unsettling than your wildest guesses would’ve been. The Roman Empire – wasn’t that a thing around the time they said Jesus Christ was born? Around the time…

You gasped for air again and turned to Tommy with the widest eyes you ever felt having.

He only stared back at you.

„Y/N, tell me what that thing around your neck is.“ As a Roman cohort was still passing these bushes, Tommy came a little closer. His voice didn’t seem reproachful. He just wanted to figure out what was going on.

As soon as you had entered the bushes, your hand had grabbed around the amber again. You removed your fingers from it and saw Tom reaching out for it, holding it up to see it properly. „Y/N?“

„I… I… it’s–“ You snapped it out of his grip and closed your fist around it again. Some tears were welling up as you let your head hang low. It was your fault. You didn’t believe the amber was actually enchanted and now your were hiding from a fucking Roman cohort. „Zilpha gave it to me. Said it’s… enchanted.“

„What does that mean?“ John’s voice whisper-called-out and was immediately ssssshhhed by Tommy. He sat next to you and you waited for a reaction to your words but he only nodded.

Everyone stayed quiet until the Roman soldiers disappeared in the far distance again. They left a tramped down path behind. When Tommy finally allowed to leave the bushes, everyone sighed due to the stiffness in the muscles.

You strolled over to the path the cohort had been marching on. There wasn’t really a sun in the sky you could watch set, but the clouds were slowly turning darker. For how long were you sitting between those thorns? Shaking arms and legs to get rid of the tiredness in it, you saw Tommy coming over to you from the corner of your eye.

„Come on, Y/N. John and Finn are searching for some wood so we can light a fire.“ If it wasn’t for this weird situation you would’ve appreciated a Shelby bonfire. „Come, eh? We have to talk about this all.“

You dreaded going over to them. You were responsible for this mess – whatever this was you had done. They would punish you, you could feel it, when all you wanted was to be closer with your siblings again.

To your surprise the first thing Finn did, when he threw some twigs and branches he had collected to ground, was give you a hug. He stayed at your side when the questions began. They were hailing down at you, demanding an explanation.

„Wait. So, ya’ saying this stone got us here? Didn’t do a prank?“ Arthur wanted to make sure he didn’t have to kill his youngest sister, you, for pulling some shenanigans on them.

„Of course I didn’t do a prank like this.“ It was hard being the center of attention in a Shelby altercation. You’d rather stay on the sidelines – attention had never been your thing. „Even though you all would’ve deserved one,“ you muttered under your breath and noticed Finn chuckling.

John was occupied with getting a fire started with his matches, but he still furiously shouted over the complete grassland. A little louder and the stupid Roman cohort would come back and throw some spears at you. Or drag your asses to Rome and throw you in the Colosseum. „Tell us again what happened.“

„She gave the amber to me,“ you repeated. „She said it has to wander and help those that need the chance for a change.“

„What change did you want a chance at?“ Ada asked. She wasn’t furious like Arthur or John, just still confused.

„Fix the broken relationships with my siblings.“ This time you didn’t shy away. You stared back at your siblings and saw their faces become softer, a little guilty maybe as well.

„An enchanted amber,“ Tommy repeated, laughing in realisation at the words.

„A cursed one you mean, Tom.“ John succeeded at making a fire and pushed himself off the ground. A little less fuming, he looked at you. „Why would you even accept a cursed stone from Esme’s damn mother?“

You shrugged.

„I think enough blaming is done, eh?“ Tommy was waving you over to sit down with him, gesturing the others to join the fire as well. As absurd as this situation was, you were extremely glad Tom wasn’t as mad as your two other eldest brothers. It would’ve been hell if he went shouting at you as well.

He was a problem solver, a person that knew what was going on before everyone else did, he was the head of this family.

„What exactly did you do in the kitchen before we landed here?“

„I wanted us to be what we once were.“

„When Zilpha said you have to think about what you want the most, maybe try and get into that feeling you had in the kitchen?“ Ada took the spot next to you and warmed her hands at the fire.

„Okay.“ You closed your eyes, the hand still clenched around the amber on your neck. The thing you wanted most right now was to go home. And for your siblings not to be mad at you anymore. Some dinner would be nice as well. You tried to focus on that overwhelming feeling of loneliness even though you had been with your siblings back in the kitchen.

Nothing changed when you opened your eyes again. That dizziness and the twist in your stomach was missing. You remained sitting on the grass with the night turning the sky dark.

„It’s not working.“

„Try harder,“ John demanded.

„I did!“

„No you didn’t.“

You got up to your feet and let go off the stone, throwing your hands in the air. „What the bloody hell do I know how this works.“ Your patience was wearing thin. There was a lot you could take before you flipped but you had a certain point, just like everyone else, when enough was enough.

They grew silent. Finn tried to ease the situation with the question as to where you even were.

„The fucking middle of nowhere,“ John cried out and let himself fall backwards to the grass.

Tom tugged at your sleeve and pulled you down again. He cleared his throat. „Actually, I think it’s the question of when are we.“

It took a good minute until everyone comprehended Tommy’s words. Everyone turned at him, including you.

When. Of course. But also: WHAT? The spinning wheel of thoughts about how this stone was able to do supernatural things was taking up speed in your head again. Voices erupted into a discussion. They demanded explanations and Tom was there to provide them. His brain was filled with a lot of stuff that came to your rescue, which you would've never needed if it wasn’t for the amber. The Roman Empire invaded Britain in the 1st century. Given the fact that the moment you sat in the kitchen was in the 1920s, you must’ve traveled almost two-thousand years back in time if you thought about it logically. Practically, you were fighting to get back a steady breathing rhythm because this… no.

You stared into the fire. „I teleported us through time.“

The raging voices died down.

Finn’s hand on your shoulder stroked you reassuringly. „You couldn’t know what would happen.“

John was the first one to join Finn’s statement. „Yeah, I’m sorry… for what I said. You just can’t trust Zilpha. It’s not your fault.“

„What are we going to do now?“ Ada, sitting between Finn and you, looked at Tommy.

„We’ll catch some sleep. Tomorrow we have to search for a village and adapt to… here.“ He pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one.

„The cigarettes!“ Arthur jumped up and fumbled through all of his pockets. „If we’re stuck here we have to make them last as long as possible.“ He infected John with the same concern about running out of cigarettes if you weren’t able to bring them back home soon. They spent a good while counting what they had left and rationed them.

You had to figure out a way to repeat what you had done in the kitchen and bring your asses home. If only for the fact that your brothers could smoke.

/////

Arthur and John competed for the loudest snore. Tommy was sitting patrol. Finn was curled up in a ball like always and Ada mumbled in her sleep next to you. You were watching the sun slowly rising from behind the horizon.

You hadn’t been able to sleep a single minute that night. For a while you had stared up at the sky. The stars had been way brighter than you ever saw them. Like a million tiny light bulbs and Finn was flicking the switch on and off for half of them, making them dance in your vision.

The amber was always in your hand, being played with and then held tight in your fist again. It was comforting to know it was in your hand when it had gained such a fundamental importance this night. If you dropped it, lost it, there would be no way you would ever return to your own time.

You wanted to go home. You wanted to know your siblings all safe and sound, in their beds and this all being nothing but a dream. You wanted to return this stone to Zilpha which would be the first stone ever you got rid of.

You wanted your siblings to be real siblings again.

Suddenly that twist in your stomach reappeared. That thudding headache almost made you throw up again.

A second later it was bright daylight and you found yourself laying on soil. In front of you were two groups of people running up to each other. They were yielding swords and shouted battlecry’s. What the fuck did you do now?

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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What color is your bedspread? Blue and yellow. Pick up the nearest book to you, turn to page 25 and read the first sentence. I’m on the rooftop and there isn’t a book anywhere near me at the moment. How many candles are in the room you are in? No candles, just two faint beams coming from our rooftop lights. What was your first word when you were a baby? My parents didn’t give much thought to stuff like that so they didn’t keep track of my first word, whatever it was. It was most likely either mommy or daddy though. How old were you in 1996? I was...somewhere in the universe, floating around lmao.

How old will you be in 2016? I turned 18 in 2016. How long until your birthday? A little less than three months before I turn 22. How many siblings do you have? Two. Are they older or younger than you? My sister is two years younger, my brother is five years younger. Are your grandparents still alive? I have three out of four. I lost my maternal grandfather in 2015. How many orange objects are there in the room you are in? The lights we have on our rooftop emit a yellow-orange hue. Have you ever run a stoplight? Never. I’ve seen enough car crash videos to know what could possibly happen if I was that impatient/if I drove too fast to brake. Do you have any children? Nope. Maybe by the end of the decade. Saying that and knowing that it isn’t 100% bullshit feels WILD. How was your first kiss? It was mostly her. I was too overwhelmed and shaking too much to remember. That whole time I was just in disbelief that I was already having my first kiss lol. Have you completed high school yet? Yeah, almost four years ago. I’m about to complete university/college this year. Do you have any relatives in the military currently? As far as I know, no. The only person I know who’s in the military is Angela’s uncle, who she’s told me about but we’ve never met each other. I also know Kate’s brother is attending military school instead of attending a ~traditional academic university, so to speak. Who got married at the last wedding you went to? Oh my, the last wedding I was in was in 2007, and it was between my uncle (my mom’s youngest brother) and my now-aunt. The new batch of weddings I’m going to be invited to now is definitely gonna be my friends’ and I’m STOKED. What time did you get up today? I first woke up at 6 AM, but I wanted to sleep in so I officially got up at around 9. When was the last time you stayed up all night? I haven’t had an all-nighter in around three years, but I did stay up until 4 AM partying with my friends a couple of months ago. We got back to Rita’s place by 5 AM, but I guess this still kinda counts as staying up all night. How long have you had a myspace, facebook, or whatever you use? I’ve had a Facebook since 2013 (I only made one since my English teacher in freshman year required us to make an account, but I technically wasn’t allowed by my parents so I had to sign up in secret). I made a Twitter three years before that, because it was a website that my parents didn’t know about yet so it was easier to sneak in and make an account for it. Who was the last person of the opposite sex you hung out with? My cousin, Jereth. We exchanged stories and played the Switch while waiting for 2020 to hit. Person of the same sex? Gabie. She came over last Friday. What color are your eyes? They are dark brown but appear to be black most days. Do you like them? Sure, it’s not like Filipinos have a choice lolol. Have you ever had braces? Yes, I had them for a year and a half in high school. I eventually lost my retainers and never got to buy another set, so everything that the braces did was to no avail since my teeth just went back to how they looked like pre-braces. :( Turn on your mp3, cd player, radio, etc. What song is playing? Khalid’s Talk just started playing on my Spotify. What was the last thing you drank? My second cup of barako coffee is keeping me company up on the rooftop right now.

Are you better at math or art? Math. I never accomplished anything presentable in art classes. Science or History? Oooooh, ya got me. I love both, but nothing replaces my love for history. Who was your 4th grade teacher? Ms. Belen, who is actually Satan in a middle-aged woman’s body. I won’t deny that I’ve wished for her death several times; she had her favorites and made her non-favorites know that she hated them. She was just that awful. Who was your best friend in 7th grade? Gabie! We actually met in the seventh grade and she’s been my best friend ever since then. Where did you go to pre-school, if you went at all? I went to the same school from preschool to high school, which we’ll hide under the name AA. We don’t have schools divided into primary, secondary, high school and whatever else y’all have in America. Who was the last person to call you? It was my mom. We went to the mall so I can spend time in Starbucks while she was looking for fancy china (we were going to have guests the next day), and she called to tell me she was gonna drive to another mall cos she couldn’t find any good plates in the mall we were currently in.

Did you smile in your driver's license picture? Yes. They told me I was allowed to smile, so I gave a hearty grin. Apparently that’s an unusual thing to do cos most people just give a closed-mouth smile or don’t smile at all, and the people at the LTO were very amused when my license was finally printed out hahaha. Do you have a job? Not yet, but that’s my goal by the end of the year. AHHHHHHHH WILD What is your favorite smell? Curry being cooked or cookies being baked. What's your favorite brand of gum? Bazooka is classic bubblegum flavor, so I’ll go with that. Have you ever dated someone & then dated their sibling? Nope. I think I’d find that super awkward, especially in my case because I see Gab’s sisters as my little sisters too lol. Who was your crush in 5th grade? My science teacher lmaoooo. We don’t talk about that era. Who was your first bf/gf? Gab. What color is the shirt you are wearing? Brown and black. What do you think of the 1980's? Pop music, big hair, Madonna, Michael Jackson. Have you ever dated someone more than 2 years older than you? I haven’t. How about 2 years younger? Nope. I’ve only dated one person and they’re the same age as me, so I don’t really know how I feel about age gaps in relationships. What brand of shampoo do you use? Dove. How long is your hair? It’s super long now that I hadn’t had it cut AT ALL in 2019. I want to have it long for my grad pic shoot so I’m probably not having it trimmed until February. If I lean my head a bit back, it already reaches my hips. If you could change one thing about yourself physically, what would it be? I’d have my teeth fixed. Is there a box of tissues in the room you are in right now? Nope, I’m out in the rooftop and there’s no reason to keep tissue in here lol. What time is it? 10:27 PM. Is their anything living (plant, animal, etc) in your room right now? We have plants on each corner of the rooftop. What color are the walls in your kitchen? White. All our walls are white, except for my brother’s bedroom which used to be the balcony until we had it renovated. His walls are creamish. Have you ever had a car accident? Mild ones. I’ve never been in a major crash where a car was totally destroyed or where someone was hurt. Do you have any major plans for today? There’s like half an hour left before the day officially ends, so I think I’m good. What kind of deoderant do you use? A...normal one? If you mean brands, I have a Dove one. What color is your toothbrush? Maroon and white. Do you own a digital camera? Nope. I stopped using those around seven or eight years ago. How old is the cellphone you have right now? It’s almost two years old. What are your initials, using the last letter of each of your names? NELZ. Do you know anyone named Tyler? I know a high school classmate’s stepbrother is named Tyler, but I don’t know anyone personally with that name. How about Reese? Katreen’s younger sister is named Reese. Diana? No. I know several Diannes, though. Shelby? That’s a no for me. Have you ever kissed someone who's name started with "C"? Negative. How about "L"? Also no. "E"? I haven’t. "B"? Andddddd nope. Are both your parents still living? Yep. What was the last thing you cooked? Nothing. How many times have you moved in your life? That I remember? Two. Do you live within 20 miles of your birthplace? Yeah, I think Manila counts as being pretty close to where I am now. Can you do a handstand? I can’t. I tried many times as a kid though (and hurt myself several times in the process). Is it after 11am? Well after, in fact. What day is it? Thursday, but it’s soon going to turn to Friday. What's the longest time you've ever spent on the phone? I was once on a Viber call for around eight hours straight with Gab back in like the early months of our relationship. That was insane. We never did it again after that lolol. How many pairs of brown shoes do you own? Just the one pair of brown heels. Are you on any prescribed medications? Nopes. What was the date 2 weeks ago from today? December 19th. If you aren't already married, do you expect to be married within 5 years? No. I’m giving myself between 7-10 years. How about 2 years? That’s an even bigger no. How many funerals have you been to in your lifetime? I’ve never been to a funeral, just wakes. I don’t think I’d like funerals, so I want to stay as unaware as I am now. Have you ever been far away from home on your birthday? Yeah. I was in Batangas for my 20th. I also went on a cruise around East Asia for my 18th birthday, but I was back in the Philippines by the day of my actual birthday. The cruise took place in the days leading up to it. Have you ever had a pet fish? Yes. My first pets were goldfish. Do you have any tattoos? Nope. Would you ever or do you have a nose piercing? Probably not. I wanted one as a teenager though. If you only had 30 days to live, what would you do? That’s pretty dark, but uhhhhhhhh I guess I’d spend all my money, party as much as I want, drink as much as I want, look for new owner/s for my dog, drive as far as I can, spend most of the time with my girlfriend.

#survey #surveys

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lunartrashbin · 5 years

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Sabo X Female Reader (Admiration)

"Seriously, if you like the guy, just tell him already! It's already just annoying by the way you look at him all lovey-dovey!" (Bf/n) exclaimed, clearly being fed up with my bullshit.

"Oh shut up. It's fine as is just admiring him being happy. Besides, why would he even like this dumb potato? If he's happy, I'm happy. Also, doesn't the saying go like happy guifu, happy lifu?" I retorted with a slight nonchalant tone.

"....................... NO YOU IDIOT, IT'S HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE. YOU WEREN'T EVEN CORRECT!!!" (Bf/n) shouted, just barely enough to draw attention while I just rolled my eyes. "Also," he continued, shoving food in his mouth. "You may be a dumb potato, but you are also the nicest and prettiest potato out there. Besides, do you even realize that Sabo actually looks at you sometimes?" (Bf/n) might be an idiot a majority of the time, but at least it's in that nice type of way.

I sighed. "Look, just because I "stare" at Sabo, doesn't mean that I like him. Besides, I stare at Kid sometimes, and that's cause I think about how much I hate him and how stupid he is."

"Oh is that so?"

I turned around at the sudden voice to see a certain tulip haired man, who just happens to be on a period 24/7.

"Oh hello, EustASS Fucking Kid." I greeted as I heard a few snickers from those who were brave enough. The really sad thing was however, no one realized that we were somehow siblings, even thOUGH WE HAD THE SAME MOTHERFUCKING LAST NAME. LIKE SERIOUSLY, HOW STUPID CAN THE HUMAN POPULATION GET!?!??

With that in mind little(?) readers, this meant that (Bf/n) was unaware of my relation with the edgy tulip. Therefore, he nearly shit his pants. It was sorta a funny sight though.

But oh no, it didn't just end there. Everyone within a hearing distance literally stopped what they were doing to look at the unknown sibling drama. Which also included Sabo, so fuck my life now. Since I was classified as a "shy" kid- even though the only kid here is a tulip- it looked like quite a shock for me to stand up the the idio- sorry, I meant bully. I could even hear (Bf/n) mutter "Don't do it you idiot. Don't provoke him."

But did I listen? I mean, why the fuck would I? So I continued as he did.

"Hello (dumb insulting name). I see you're being shitty as usual." CUE THE CONFUSED PEOPLE. Why? Because no one knows why he called me that. Though there is a story behind it... Which is embarrassing...

"I see you're being an ass like usual. Say, how is your arm? I do wonder what happened to it..." I talked back with a hint of sarcasm. Truth is, in one of our daily fights at home, I ended up breaking his arm, so now it was in a cast. Not my fault he insulted Sabo and was an asshole like usual though.

"Oh piss off." He spoke, before flipping me off and walking away. While he did that, I stuck my tongue at him. ;P

And my god, every one looked so confused, it was beautiful. And then there's Law, looking proud of me for slightly crushing Kid's pride. He didn't show it, but it was there.

I finally turned myself back to (Bf/n), only to be bombarded with questions.

~~~

After the event at lunch, apparently my reputation increased a bit for standing up to the idiot jerk. Why is this important? I'm actually, not sure.

Anyways, a few days have passed since then, and today on Friday, I, Eustass (Y/n), had received a note, letter, love letter? Whichever it is.

When school ended, I went home while Kid (a/n I wanted to write aniki for some reason XD) went out with his friends, leaving me alone with the note while not worrying about getting teased. It was a simple light blue paper folded into thirds, with a piece of tape holding it together. That's literally, just it. I peeled off the tape, and read.

Dear E. (Y/n),

I have already fallen for you for a while now, and the event on (insert date) a while back may have made me fall deeper than I thought I could have already.

Anyways, I'd like it if you could go out and join me at the Baratie for lunch at 11:30 am. Lunch will be on me, and I can't wait to see whether or not you come, but I hope you do.

Yours Truly,

Hooooooooly cheese and macaroni, Did I just get asked out on a date???? The handwriting was nice though. But ohhhh lordie, my face is probably as red as big bro's hair, I don't know what to do. Look, I ain't good with affection or shit related to that. But do I go? What would I wear? What if it goes south? What if it's a prank? Or worse, it's not a prank? And who the hell is S???

Ohhhh boi, since I was never good with this kind of stuff to begin with, I texted (Bf/n), and you know what he replied with?

"Eh / Just go / U never kno wut might happen"

"Just go" He fricking says. Just. Go.

Like, does the fucker not know how I can't deal with this shit that fucking easily???

And just like that I lost all of tonight's sleep, just deciding to screw myself over and go. I may be Kid's sister, but I'm not that mean... I think.

When I woke up, I sneaked into Kid's room, to see the fucker snoring hella loud. I grabbed that thing used to match your skin, think it was called foundation? To cover any eyebags and what not, and sneaked back out. It was tempting to kick him though, but I didn't want him to question me.

I went back to my room and grabbed a black tank top with a plain (f/c) jacket, with white cuffs of the sleeves. I also wore (a) (shade of blue) blue jeans that went a bit below my knees, being slightly ripped. As for shoes, I just wore some black boots with a (f/c) streak somewhere. (Sorry im bad at explaining clothes)

I then left at 11:15 because I wanted to be there 10 minutes early and it took 5 minutes to get there by foot.

I grabbed my earphones and phone from my pocket to play some music on my way there and hummed to the tune while waiting.

About 8 minutes passed when I got there I think, when I finally heard a familiar voice.

"Sorry if I'm late. My brothers wanted food so I had to make them some." I turned around to the source of the voice and my face immediately reddened. Because wHO THE FUCK KNEW THAT IT WAS GONNA BE MY CRUSH THAT I DENIED TOWARDS (BF/N)!?!?!??

Sabo was wearing a simple white button up shirt and some brown jean looking pants, and yet he still, looks great. But I had to speak otherwise, I might just be rude, or weird, or both.

"I-it's fine. You're not late, i-its just that I was here earlier."

GODDAMMIT WHY DID I STUTTER???? KILL MEEEEEEEEE.

"That's good, sorry to keep you waiting then? Anyways, let's go inside. Ladies first." The somehow calm fuck said as he opened the door with a fucking wink that just melted me. But you know what I did? I just chuckled at the silly gesture but really, I have no fucking idea what to do.

Like excepted, we sat at a table, ordered our food, and talked. Surprisingly, it actually wasn't that hard to talk to him. I mean it still sorta is cause I like him and I don't wanna screw up my chances, but, it was nice.

After we finished, we went to the park, and you probably guessed, more talking and idle chat. Mainly Sabo poking fun at his brothers.

"And then there was this one time where went to the beach, a-and we were in a boat and then we heard this noise." Sabo started again with another story in mind, sounding like he was trying so hard not to just fall to the ground and laugh. "At first, Marco looked like he didn't care, and he was chill. When all of a sudden he just screamed like a girl right when a seal came up behind him, and he just clung to Thatch like a scared child!" And he lost it. He just started to break into laughter, and loose his shit. Can't blame him though, as I joined in on his laughter. (Itotallydidn'tputareferencetooneofKiraReno'sstoriesjustnow)(congrats if you could read that)

Because just imagine. Your super calm and serious seeming art teacher, looking like he isn't scared easily, screaming like a small girl AND CLINGING to his brother, just because he's scared! And then I lost it too.

He then shared some more stories as he walked me back home after a while. Though sadly but obviously, he didn't share any funny stories about himself. It was pretty quiet when we got in front of my house, which made me suspicious of what Kid was doing, but I shrugged it off.

"Well, I'll be going now. Here's my number so you can text me!" He spoke with a precious smile.

And then kissed my fucking forehead.

I turned red, obviously not expecting it, when out of fucking no where-

"OI!!! KEEP YOUR HANDS, OFF OF MY SISTER!!!!"

And who else would it be other than Eustass. Fucking. Kid.

"S-sister?!" Sabo was surprised, but who came blame him? Would you really expect one of the top bullies of the school to just come out of fucking no where and just defend somehow his little sister? Because people would usually say I'm an angel, which, clearly they haven't met me.

Sick and tired of Kid's usual and daily bullshit, i took off my boot, and threw it at Kid's face. Thankfully, the window was open.

#old?ish #potat things #my writing #it came from wattpad #sabo #one piece #x reader

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zephfair · 6 years

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Grimmjow, accidental beauty blogger?

Inspired by my own stupid post and @the8thsphynx priceless comment. I was hit by the crack fairy after I realized that I had no idea how Pinterest actually works, so I made this up as I went. And thanks to my friend @dreamywritingdragon I even figured out my Pinterest name! xD I’m dumb.

The vibration of his phone woke Grimmjow with a snort. He opened one gummy eye just enough to squint as he fished under his pillow for the phone. For fuck’s sake, who the hell messaged him at the crack of 1 p.m. on a Sunday?

His head throbbed from the weekend’s parties as he finally held the phone, but peeling his other eye open didn’t help the messages make sense.

Yuzulemon: HI! I really love your stuff, your hair is so pretty! The color is beautiful and it looks so soft! I just wondered if you have any advice for keeping it long? Like, I’m trying to convince my brother to grow his out but he says it would be too much trouble?

Yuzulemon: Also you’re really cute trying out the makeup. You go, boy! That green really suits you!

Both messages were sprinkled with emojis, but Grimmjow still couldn’t understand. They were sent to his personal Jmail account, but he’d never heard of the chick. So he ignored it and rolled over, but the phone vibrated again.

Yuzulemon: Sorry to keep bothering you, but how long did it take to get your hair that long? I think if I can get my brother past the first stage so he can pull it up, he’ll be OK. Did you do ponytails a lot? Or man-buns? It looks nice the way you have it now too!

Grimmjow had enough.

BigBadGrimm: STFU I don’t know who the fuck you are but leave me alone.

He’d just dozed back off when the phone vibrated in his hand. Groaning, he swiped the message open but this time it was from another account.

Oneberry: Hey asshole, that’s my sister you upset. Don’t be a dick and stop posting shit of yourself if you don’t want comments on it.

Posting shit? What? Grimmjow managed to sit up against the bed’s headboard and swallow a few times to fend off the nausea. He’d had a good weekend, a big party Friday night at a sorority and another huge party Saturday, first at a bar and then finishing at the house he shared with friends. They didn’t join a fraternity, but they nicknamed the house Hueco Mundo and they definitely knew how to party.

Grimmjow vaguely remembered getting into a fight with Nnoitra and Szayelaporro about something, but that wasn’t unusual. They were usually pissing each other off over anything from who ate what food to putting the moves on the wrong person someone else had called dibs on.

He definitely didn’t have any recollection of posting anything online last night.

He thumbed out a reply: Fuck you. And your sister.

Since he was awake and cranky, Grimmjow swept through the rest of his Jmail account and saw a series of mails from Wintrest. Wasn’t that the site that suburban moms used to look at pictures of food and house shit? Grimmjow had certainly never even glanced at the site, let alone signed up for an account.

Only he had. Or someone had. There was a welcome email and a verify-the-account email, both of which were marked read. Grimmjow scowled at the screen as he saw recommended lists for him to check and then, to his growing horror, several reactions to “his” posts.

“Oh shit,” he grumbled as he opened one. Then his messenger vibrated with a message.

Oneberry: You don’t get to say that. That’s my sister, you despicable sack of shit. Hdu. You’re an asshole and I’ll post this so everyone can see your asshole ways.

BigBadGrimm: Go ahead, what do I care

The first post Grimmjow opened made him swear loudly. The picture had been taken his first year at university, when he’d still had the super-long hair that he always loudly claimed gave him the most energy and power. His friends had mocked him ruthlessly so he’d cut it off eventually, but he remembered doing that pose one night, looking back over his shoulder, smirking for the camera, all his luscious, wavy hair flowing down his back. It was that bitch-ass Szayel who’d taken it.

To his extreme amazement and annoyance, the picture had already been liked seven times. Under it, with the badly misspelled mess characteristic to Nnoitra, was something about washing his hair only in seltzer water because the bubbles gave it body.

He snarled and went to the next one and the next. Most of them were his long hair in various stages, when it seemed like it had a mind of its own. Each had some asinine “advice” like only washing it when the moon was full or dipping it in beer in between so it could drink and be bouncy.

Then he saw one that he knew Ulquiorra had taken in their dorm bathroom freshman year. Grimmjow had his hair pulled back off his face with a thick headband and the rest tied up sloppily on his head as he leaned over the sink brushing his teeth, his eyes gazing into the mirror.

Under that were some suggestions on maintaining the whitest teeth with frequent brushing and even more applications of liquor. Grimmjow gnashed his teeth as if he imagined them biting into a certain someone’s tender white throat.

His traitorous phone vibrated twice.

Oneberry: You’re at Karakura right? I’ll find your ass and make you sorry. Dick. My sister was just trying to be nice.

Oneberry: You don’t even look good. Who the fuck grows their hair into a mullet that long?

Grimmjow pinched his nose. The last few pics were more recent. They were from gatherings all over campus, with him in various stages of undress, showing his current hair and trademark grin, although he noticed his “friends” had been carefully cropped out of each shot. The last one from Halloween was a video and he steeled himself to press the play arrow.

It was only a few seconds of when he’d been beside Szayel at a mirror, sarcastically narrating the process as he applied the makeup for his costume. He winced at his affected voice as he swiped green eyeshadow in exaggerated swirls all around his eyes and pouted for the camera that he knew was being held by Nnoitra.

There was only one thing to do.

Those bastards were dead.

Of course they had just used his phone to log in to Jmail, so they didn’t even have to make up new accounts. If Grimmjow hadn’t been so hungover and so angry, he might have admired that they’d actually taken that much time and trouble to fuck him over. But he didn’t care about that; he just wanted to wring their necks.

Then he realized that there were a couple comments under most of the pictures, and every single one of them was positive. Even the one that some dickwad posing as him—it had Nnoitra all over it—claimed he used jizz to keep his hair in its current coiffed position. The Yuzulemon girl had given it heart-eyes and a laugh then a thumbs-up.

Well, didn’t Grimmjow feel like a dick now.

He slowly and carefully composed a message to Yuzulemon, carefully watching the autocorrect.

Hey, sorry I didn’t know about the pics on Wintrest. I didn’t post them. Some guys did it as a joke. I just woke up and found out. I’m sorry I yelled at you.

He hit send and then quickly opened another message. Thank you for the nice things you said. If you really do have questions about hair, I could try and answer. I let mine grow all through high school. I cut it off last year.

He waited a moment in silence then even more slowly typed, erased and retyped a message to Oneberry.

Hey, sorry about before. My friends made that account to fuck me over. I didn’t know. I apologized to your sister. I shouldn’t have been such an asshat to her.

While he chewed at his thumbnail and waited for a reply, he re-read what Oneberry had sent him more closely.

WTF how do you know I’m at Karakura? You go here too?

There were no replies and Grimmjow was forced to answer the call of nature and retreat to the bathroom. He didn’t run into any of his housemates so he took a long shower before heading back to his room. He was getting dressed and debating what he wanted to try eating when his phone finally buzzed.

Maybe Yuzulemon and Oneberry had needed time to talk to each other. Maybe they were reporting him to someone. Maybe their family had a weird obsession with fruit.

Grimmjow snatched the phone quickly to see a message from Oneberry.

You’re a sick fucker and your friends are worse. Too bad all that hair must have smothered your good manners.

Well, it looked like his very sincere apology wasn’t going to be accepted. He sent back a single character—the middle finger emoji.

He’d just pulled on his shirt when his phone went off. This time he sat down to read the message from Yuzulemon.

That sucks! Your friends are mean! But you could have explained that before you went off on me.

He answered immediately. I know. I’m sorry. Your messages woke me up and I didn’t know what was going on.

Yuzulemon: Well next time you should think before you hit send.

Grimmjow grimaced at the string of emojis, but he had to admit the kid was right.

Yeah, ok, he wrote back.

Yuzulemon answered quickly. Sorry that my brother went after you. He was sitting here when I got your reply and he’s kinda Big Brother sometimes. He goes to Karakura too.

Grimmjow just had to ask. How do you know where I go to school?

Yuzulemon: *series of laughing emojis* We live in Karakura and your pics showed campus in the background.

Yuzulemon: Oops, not your pics but the pics you were in. My bro is a freshman.

Well, at least that explained that. He felt a little better that they hadn’t actually stalked him or anything.

Nice. I’m a junior.

Yuzulemon: Do you have a gf? Bf?

Grimmjow stared at his phone and didn’t know how to answer. He was definitely not into high school or younger girls, which she must be if her “big” brother was only a freshman.

Then his phone vibrated in a fury.

Oneberry: YUZU WTF

Oneberry: WHAT ARE YOU DOING QUIT TALKING TO HIM

And Grimmjow realized Yuzulemon had been copying Oneberry in on their latest conversation. Shit.

Yuzulemon: It’s OK! He’s nice!

Grimmjow quickly typed I only date guys. There, that should get the brother off his back before he blew his top again.

Yuzulemon: Cool, you should get together with Ichi and talk him into letting his hair grow. I think he would look SO GOOD with long hair like yours.

Oneberry: YUZU IM NOT KIDDING IM BREAKING INTO YOUR ROOM STOP IT

Grimmjow couldn’t help a laugh. I don’t think your brother would like that.

Yuzulemon: Why not? You could at least tell him what a tattoo feels like. He’s always threatening Dad that he’s going to get one but Dad won’t let him.

How do you know about my tattoos?

Yuzulemon: I could see them peeking out from under your hair in the shirtless pics!

Oneberry: YUZU IM TELLING DAD IF YOU DONT OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW

Grimmjow felt weirdly exposed.

Yuzulemon: Here’s a pic I took of Ichigo last week.

Grimmjow felt something totally different when the picture loaded.

Oneberry: NEVERMIND IM CLIMBING THE TREE AND BUSTING THE WINDOW IF I HAVE TO STOP TALKING TO THIS FREAK

This Ichigo had a killer six-pack and was holding up the bottom of his T-shirt to show it off. His mouth was open in a scowl as if he were telling the picture taker not to do it. The picture cut off at his nose, but Grimmjow liked what he saw.

Yuzulemon: Why don’t you two meet up for coffee tonight? He’s usually only in class or at the gym but I think he needs more friends.

Yuzulemon: He won’t admit it, but I think he likes your hair too. *series of winky and kissy faces*

Grimmjow rubbed his hand over his face. This was the strangest and most bizarre way he’d ever been set up in his life, but damn if he didn’t almost want to meet the guy.

I don’t think we have much in common. Thanks anyway.

Yuzulemon: Don’t say that! He likes reading and music and mixed martial arts and all kinds of fun stuff!

Oneberry: SO HELP ME YUZU IF I FALL OUT THIS TREE

Yuzulemon: Here’s his number. Text him directly. I have to go see if he really fell. Maybe you could visit him in the hospital!

Grimmjow let out a long breath and barked another laugh.

But he saved the number. Just in case.

And he clicked on the link Yuzu provided to go to her Wintrest page. After a few minutes of looking through the recipes and desserts she’d apparently tried and succeeded at, he followed her. Since his “friends” had been so kind to make him an account, he might as well not let it go to waste.

He stripped his shirt back off, pulled his jeans down low on his hips and with some twisting and fumbling, managed to take a good picture of one of his back tattoos with his own smirk visible in the mirror. It didn’t take long for him to figure out how to upload it to Wintrest with a special comment.

Don’t have much to say about hair or makeup, but I do like tattoos and working out. And I could give advice to any dumbass trying to climb a tree—DON’T.

He didn’t even have to wait a minute before Yuzulemon liked his post and gave it about a hundred heart eyes.

Ego properly stoked, Grimmjow pocketed his phone when he heard the shouting and slamming doors that indicated some of his housemates returning from wherever. After he dealt them a righteous retribution of asskicking, he might just text Ichigo. He couldn’t be as bad as Grimmjow’s own friends, could he?

#my fic #crack fic #i'm sorry #i just had this mental picture and i couldn't help myself #my apologies to the8thsphynx #i'm sorry i couldn't write you anything better

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gjr1086 · 6 years

Text

Sometimes the hero needs saving...

So i don't really post much unless i have me feels going. But i think it's time u guys kno my story..

Since I was a kid my brother n my dad would always fight. I've seen my dad slam my brother through a wall when i was 14 n felt helpless... both of them are big guys with short fuses n thick skulls..

Throughout my teens i was picked on n bullied cause of my eczema (sever constant dry skin. Almost like having a heat rash n sunburn at the sme time). I wasn't popular but i made my own rep n was able to make friends easily. However, being so nice gets u taken advantage of.

I had a lot of messed up n abusive relationships to the point that being treated like a worthless piece of wasted skin. As hard to say all this it's time for me to let go of these heavy weight that I've been carrying around all my life.

When i got pregnant in 2008 my ex husband would cheat on me with random females (some from craigslist). The stress before n during my pregnancy landed me in the OR to have an emergency c-section cause my daughter's heart rate kept dropping (i wanted to have her naturally but my body only dialated 3-5cm. I spent the next 5 days in the hospital trying to learn how to walk n take a piss on my own with out having an accident. When we got home my ex husband tells me that with the complecations during surgery the doctor gave him a choice on who to save in the event that we both start crashing. He tells him to save his wife cause we can always make another baby.

After that he just kept abusing me mentally n emotionally by staying out at outrageous hours saying he has to work (as an electrician who's hours of operation end at 5pm. He leaves at 6am n cames home at 2am the next morning). I had enough n snapped on him tue daybafter my daughter's first Christmas. My mom took the baby out of the room so i could sleep n my ex runs his mouth about my mom invading our room n messing with the baby. (Mind u i am still pretty raw from having my daughter less then a month before). Idk what came over me but when he turned his bck to me in the middle of the conversation i saw red n pulled him back saying "don't turn ur fucking back on me again n look at me when i am talking to u" he seemed like he was gonna swing n i would have let him just to fuel my rage more.. something took over me n i fractured 3 or his ribs, gave him a black eye and a busted lip.. we split for bout 3 weeks but he would "try" to see the baby n ended up saying that he wanted to come home. But that didn't last long. We separated about a month later n he hasn't seen his daughter since she was 4 months old..

After that all my relationship were extremely difficult on both ends cause i seem to be attracting n am attracted to ppl as broken as I was.. thinking I could save them.. when really i needed to he saved. I was told by my over 5 yr ex that fairytales don't exsist n started believing that there will never be a happy ending for me..

In 2014 my mom, dad, daughter n i moved into a house with my brother, his wife n 2 bots who came from the Philippines. Here i was thinking it was to bring the family closer but i soon came to realize it was so that we could take care of his family while he was out at sea. Big mistake cause when he was home all he did was fight n argue with my dad. My dad started getting obsessed with his plants n gardening that he watered our big ass back yard n the front garden area for almost 3 hrs a day n running up the water bill. Then shit knocked us out one by one.

Feb 2015: daughter get pneumonia n had to he admitted to the hospital for 5 days with round the clock meds.

April 2015: my dad had a mild heart attack n heat stroke from being out with his plants n not resting nor taking his meds for diabetes, high blood, hypertension, n more.

May 2015: i slipped n fell at work messing up my right knee n was in a wheelchair for 3 months n crutches in between.

June 2015: i went back to work after my injury n the same day my mom had a massive stroke leaving her paralyzed on her whole right side, damaging the entire left side of her brain n compromising her speech.

I ended up quitting my job n staying home to care for her fulltime (but only got paid for business hours). Regardless of the pay i did it for her to not suffer alone in a damn nursing home like my grandmother. Little by little things changed but not for the good.

July 2015: my dad has a melt down n acted as if he ws going to hirt someone or himself. So i told my sister in le to take the kids upstairs n lock the door while me n my 5+ ur bf took care of the situation. My brother was on the phone with me during this n told me to call the cops. My dad acted like nothing was wrong n the cops said that cant take hime because basically nothing bad happened yet... smh.

I took my sister n the kids to my aunts for the weekend while my mom was still in the hospital to let things cool off in the house n family n friends were telling me that he may need mental help.. as much as i didn't want to betray my dad i had to do what was best n he agreed to do a psych evaluation. The things that cam out of his mouth was soo cold n morbid that it broke my heart knowing that he saw demon faces on his own family's faces...

He was admitted for 72 hrs but was sent back on another incident. (I kno I'm missing a lot in between but I'm just letting my fingers do the talking for me). He was evicted n homless living in his van for 2 yrs until my brother had the bright idea to sell the house n basically made it to ever man for themselves. He did me a "generous" favor of letting me n my 3 friends rent the house as tenants.

March 26th, 2017: my mom passed away the morning after I broke things off with my 5+ yr ex. I guess she was waiting for me to do that to let her kno that I ws ready to let her go.....

April 2015: I met my recent bf (who is now ... idk not apart of my life anymore i suppose) who was basically cheating on me while he was living with me because he got fed up of my trust n insecurity issues n literallysaid "fuck it.."

Before this crap with my dude, my daughter's god father (who is also my ex) got jealous n broke his lease agreement to move to Maryland. N my so called sister (my god daughter's mom) fucked me over as well by taking advantage of my generosity n kindness to get her n my god daughter off the street n in an actual home. I tried to give her another chance to be a good mom but took too much advantage of everyone. Those two got everyone evicted n not only was my dad homeless but me, my daughter n my bf for 4 months (it may not seem long but when u are going through it.. that seems like a lifetime). In that time I learned that my bf was talking inappropriately to other females n that door that was keeping the demons locked up had broken down n won't close. I ended up swinging at him on 3 different occassions n started cutting, ripping at flesh or smoking my life away slowly since.

Friday, Aug 13, 2018 we were blessed with a new home but it doesn't feel like it just yet. Stuff isn't fully unpacked cause finances are low to get a uhaul n lack of man power is making the process longer. Since the crap with my dude happened i guess he got tired of me bitching about his neglect n abuse towards me cause he really feels like he didn't do anything wrong..

It's ok.. i always turn into the bad guy when all i did was put in all my time n effort just to have it thrown back in my face...

So I'm just sitting here feeling worthless.. n wondering what the fuck to do now... i'm just soo lost... i just wana sleep n never wake up again...

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toomanysurveys9 · 6 years

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Has the last person you kissed met your father? the last person i kissed was my son and he has met his grandfather. he lives with us. and jacob has obviously met him too (he’s the last person i kissed romantically). What’s your favourite breed of dog? i love my brother’s akita. but i tend to fall for the mixed breeds. that’s what both of my dogs are. Who is the first person you saw this morning? jacob and wyatt. What would you like to do right now? i don’t know. drink something maybe?

What was the last thing that was on your wrist? i don’t remember. maybe a hair tie? Do you think more about the past, present or future? probably the present these days. just taking it all day by day. When was the last time you spoke to your brother? sunday night before they left our house. Are you outgoing or more reserved? more reserved for sure. Can money buy happiness? eh. not complete happiness, but money can definitely help a lot with some things.. What was the last thing you drank? a glass of water.

Do you swear in front of your parents? my mom i don’t care. but i don’t in front of my dad really because i know he doesn’t like it. When you say you don’t care, do you mean it? not always. Do you know anyone who has messed up your life? just me. Honestly have you kissed someone of the same sex this week? i have not. Who knows you better than you know yourself? i don’t know that anyone knows me that well. not anymore. Have you ever kissed a blonde haired blue eyed person? i have not. Who last texted you? jasmin. Do you listen to music when you’re down? i listen to a lot less music these days. but sometimes. Do you still talk to the person you had your first kiss with? we’re married and i’m pregnant with our second child. What would you do if you found out you were pregnant to the last person you kissed? we’re going to go with the last person i kissed romantically, which is jacob, and i am pregnant by him. Will your next kiss be a mistake? nope. Have you ever stayed in a hotel? quite a few times. Have you ever dated someone who was not good to you? yeah. jacob has his moments.. Ever been told you were loved by someone who didn’t mean it? probably... Have you ever been cheated on? yeah. towards the beginning of our relationship, jacob cheated on me with his ex. it was just a kiss, otherwise i never would have stayed. Are promises important to you? not really anymore. they always get broken. What’s a fact about the last person who texted you? she’s married to my cousin, scott. Doesn’t it drive you nuts when people think they ‘need’ to have a bf/gf? a little, sure. but i mean. whatever. it’s their life. What is one thing you spend way too much money on? my kids. lol. If you could have something right now, what would it be? someone to hang out with. friends. Are you texting anyone? no. no one talks to me anymore. Do you find it hard to trust others? i do. and i think it’s just going to keep getting worse. Can you honestly say you’re okay right now? yeah. i’m okay for the most part. Have you ever worn the opposite sex’s clothing? yeah. i wear jacob’s shirts a lot. Are you slowly drifting away from someone? it seems like it... Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? most people, yes. but not everyone. Does anyone know your passwords other than you? jacob might. i have gave them to him before. with the exception of my tumblr. that is only mine. What was the last thing you spent money on? lunch stuff for jacob. Are your nails done? they are not. they very rarely are done. How many people have you kissed in this month? jacob and wyatt. Hug anyone last night? wyatt. Who are you talking to? no one at the moment. every now and then, i talk to lilli and wyatt. What’s your middle name? dee after my mom’s foster mom. Where will you be 12 hours from now? in bed. unless i’m in the bathroom. but probably bed. Does the person you like, like you back? i don’t know. i know i go through this a lot. but i just. don’t know. i want to say he does, since we’re married and pregnant with our second... but i don’t know. Where’s your girlfriend/boyfriend at? i’m married, and he’s probably headed home from work but i never really know for sure. Can you make yourself cry? i can’t cry on demand. Is your current hair color mostly your natural hair color? it’s all my natural hair color. What color are your socks? not wearing any. Who have you texted in the last 24 hours? jasmin, jacob, kayla, and erin. Do you like someone? i... yeah.. i still do. Current mood? okay. kinda feeling blah a little. but i’m okay. Who were you with Friday night? family, minus jacob. was celebrating lilli’s birthday. Were you in a good mood last night? i was in an okay mood, but kind of felt hurt. i get tired of doing everything on my own. i know jacob works almost every day for us, but he does nothing with wy. i’m raising wy pretty much all on my own, and it’s going to be the same i’m sure when ellie is here. and i kind of wanted jacob to go with us to the store because he’s literally done nothing with us in a very long time. but he didn’t. and he never does. we barely talk. we barely have a relationship at this point... we’re just roommates who share soon to be two kids and have sex occasionally when he feels like it. What should you be doing right now? nothing. Do you have a reason to smile right now? wyatt and ellie always give me reason. Think back to June. Were you in a relationship? yeah. Would you hug the last person that you hugged again (besides family)? i don’t know who i last hugged that was not family. Where did you sleep three nights ago? i slept on the couch for awhile, but then i went to my own bed after jon and jake were done playing ark. Have you argued with anyone today? nope. Are you ready for kids? i am going to have two in november, and i already have one, so i better be. lol. What do you tend to drink a lot of? lately, water. although i’ve barely been drinking anything... Is there someone you can spend every minute with and be happy? wyatt. he’s my only happiness.. Have you ever woke up crying from a bad dream? yeah. Finish the sentence: A relationship cannot work without ____ time together and communication.. Do you have any friends? i hope so. i think kayla is just going through some stuff so we haven’t been talking as much. Who was the last person you gave your number to? i don’t know. erin put my number in her friend kayla’s phone, if that counts. Are you married? i am. Who are you texting? no one. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months? obviously. What if someone asked you to be in a relationship with them? i’d say no since i’m married to jake. What is your hair looking like right now? i haven’t brushed it so not great, but it has looked worse. What woke you up this morning? jacob’s alarm, and then wyatt. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? depends. but generally, rainy. Blue or orange? blue. i don’t like orange much. Who made you cry last? jacob. What do you regret doing anything lately? nothing comes to mind. Last person you had a fight with? i don’t know. i haven’t really fought with anyone. you have to care to do that. Where were you 2 hours ago? upstairs in my bedroom with wy. Do you eat breakfast? when i’m pregnant, i do. Do you have plans for tomorrow? we might go to the fair, but i’m sure my mom is going to back out so no. Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot? When was it? i can. i currently do. Will you be in a relationship in the next month? yeah. Will you talk to someone on the phone tonight? doubt it. unless jacob decides to call. Have you ever trusted someone too much? story of my life. Have you ever made someone cry? i probably have. Believe in love at first sight? as a mom, yes. but not the romantic kind. Ever dated two people at once? i have not. Who is your last missed call from? my sixteen year old sister, erin. Are you “with” the very last person you kissed? the very last person? no. he’s my son. What do you do before you go to bed? get wyatt to sleep. it’s usually a lot of flipping sides, and he occasionally will still nurse. but he nurses a lot less so we’re getting closer! Do you wake up to a good morning text? nope. Have you ever had to block anyone online? yeah. a handful of time. Do you miss anything? i do but it doesn’t matter. Are you okay with the life you live? for the most part, yes. How did you get your last bruise? i honestly don’t know. probably hit my leg on something. It’s 4 in the morning and someone is throwing rocks at your window, who? no one i would know. Where were you around 3 PM yesterday? i was at home. napping with wyatt. Where were you at 1:30am? in bed, sleeping. Last time you got a text message and smiled? i don’t remember. Do you regret kissing anyone you have kissed? not really, no. Are you in a relationship? i am. Have you ever made a boy cry? yeah. Are you afraid of thunder and lightning? not generally. Are you scared of ending up alone? not really. more afraid of if something happened to make us split up, he’s already made it known that the house, cars, and basically everything is all his. which is fine. all i need is my kids. but he said he’d take them too... he can’t even take care of wyatt now... Did you sleep alone last night? nope. with wyatt and jacob. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? noooo. Have you ever dyed your hair? it’s been a very long time, but yes. Are you currently looking forward to anything? november or october, whenever ellie makes her appearance. How often do you hold back what you want to say? alllll the time. Is the last person you kissed older than you? nope. Do you think that in the end, everything will fall into place? i hope so.

#survey #surveys #personal #question #questions #random

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ghostwinchesters · 6 years

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Eggnog and Lies

part ii, part iii

tags: sastiel, college rooommate au, dean’s coming to stanford for the holidays, sam needs a bf asap, swearing, implied charjo, past megstiel, past samifer i def don’t ship it and it’s displayed vEry negatively, lucifer was manipulative, sam is self deprecating, cas is panromantic (!!)

characters: sam winchester, castiel, dean winchester [mentioned], jo harvelle, charlie bradbury [mentioned], lucifer [mentioned], balthazar, gabriel, meg masters [mentioned]

word count: 2k

AO3 Link

Part II

“Okay, so give me the whole story, Sam.” Jo put a glass in front of him. “And drink up.”

He gave her a confused look. “Eggnog? I think I could use something a little stronger than eggnog.”

She smirked. “Nah, don't worry about that. It's got plenty in it… Now tell me.” Jo leaned against the counter with her eyebrows raised. “Charlie said Dean’s coming tomorrow, and you're freaking out because…” She waved her hand in a please explain motion.

Sam groaned. “Do I really have to talk about it?”

“Hey, Charlie said you needed help finding a date or something, and I'm trying to help you out, but I need some context, Sammy.”

He avoided her gaze and looked around the coffee shop instead. It was some stupid holiday party at Jo’s cafe and Charlie had told him to go. The place was popular around campus and it was busy, especially because of the party and it being Friday night. Alex, Claire, and Jack were busy serving everyone while Jo talked to Sam, which made him feel bad but he knew she wouldn’t stop now.

“It's Sam. And not just a date. I literally need someone who's been dating me for a while. And that's obviously not gonna happen by tomorrow.” Sam let out a long sigh as Jo kept looking at him in confusion. “Yeah, Dean’s coming tomorrow for Christmas. I mean, I didn't even know he was coming until the other day! He originally said he wasn't gonna make it, but Bobby convinced him to take some time off from the shop and…” Sam's voice trailed off.

“Okay, but what's the problem? You and Dean get along pretty well, I thought. And why the fuck do you need a datefriend?”

Sam looked down at his eggnog. “Um, beginning of this year, after winter break, Dean was just kinda worried about me. I dunno. He does that a lot. Especially after last year, and losing Jess…” Sam stopped talking before shrugging. “I mean, I didn’t even have a roommate yet because it’s like people were freaked to stay with me after the fire last year… Until Cas anyway because he obviously doesn’t give a shit about possible curses. Anyway, I started dating Luce in like April and Dean felt better because I had someone, even though he never met him.”

“Yeah, well, Lucifer was a complete and total dick who didn’t deserve you. Glad you dumped him.” Jo winced when Sam looked down at his glass. “Sorry. That’s not his name, and maybe that was a little har-”

“No, no… You’re right. He was a fucking dick and I should’ve broken up with him a lot earlier. I just… when I finally told Dean a few weeks ago, I said I was dating someone else, but now I’m probably just gonna have to tell him that I kinda totally lied and he’ll probably be worried because I lost someone again, and I dunno.” He looked up with a tired grin. “Unless someone wants to fake date me?”

Jo snorted. “Hey, don't look at me, Sammy. I've got a girlfriend. But we’ll see what we can work out. You gonna be picky about who?”

“Uh…” Sam chuckled nervously. “I accidentally said he when I told Dean I was dating someone, and had to keep going with that lie.” Jo groaned and gave him a seriously look. “You have any willing gay guys arou-?” He jumped slightly when someone dropped down on the bar stool next to him.

“Well, I’m gay and possibly willing. It might work?”

“Cas… Do you have any idea what we’re talking about?” Jo asked at the same time that Sam mumbled, “You’re… gay?” He felt himself get excited and happy for a second, but shoved it down, ignoring it.

“Absolutely none.” Cas shook his head and shrugged. “And yes. Well, panromantic if you want to get specific… Anyway. Why the hell do you need a willing gay guy?”

“No reason. You’re already stuck being my roommate. You don’t need to hear about my problems.”

Jo’s eyes lit up and she grinned. “Actually, that could totally work.” She turned to Cas. “He needs someone to fake date him while Dean’s here.”

“Dean… Your brother Dean?”

“Yeah.”

“He doesn’t want Dean to worry about him after Luce and everything, so he needs to pretend he’s been dating someone for a while. A guy, specifically.” Jo gave Sam a fake smile and he glared at her. “Which means we have fewer options.”

“Okay. I guess I’ll do it.”

Sam froze, staring at Cas, who shrugged. “You’ll… you’ll what?”

“Like you said, I’m already living with you. It won’t be that hard.”

“Yeah, and this way you guys actually know each other, which’ll make it more convincing.”

“Y-yeah.” Sam attempted a smile, feeling nervous. This couldn’t be happening. He’d had a slight crush on Cas for a while, and now he was supposed to fake date him?

“Cas has experience with stuff like this too.”

Cas ignored her and looked at Sam with a small smile. “Only if you want to though, Sam. It’s your choice.”

“Okay, yeah. Why not?”

“Cool.” Cas grinned. “Winter break was going to be boring anyway, so this is good.”

Jo rolled her eyes and snorted. “You guys are both weird, okay? Really fucking weird… And I’ll get you two more eggnogs on the house while you figure this out because you’re also my fucking weird friends.”

Sam shook his head. “No, no. Jo. It’s fine.”

Jo pretended not to hear him and went to make two.

“Good luck changing her mind, Sam.”

“Yeah…” He looked up. “What’d she mean about you having experience with stuff like this?”

“Uh, we went to highschool together, and there was this girl Meg. She was dating my brother Michael but he was a douche and she caught him cheating with her sister, Lilith.”

“Who—shocker—was a total bitch.” Jo put two drinks in front of them. “You guys can go to the back room if you want. It’s quieter. Not as many drunk-on-freaking-eggnog students over there.”

Cas stood up and Sam followed him to one of the couches in the back of the coffee shop.

“Yeah, so she asked me to fake date her as petty revenge, and I agreed,” Cas said as he sat down, picking up where he’d left off. “She was my friend, and it’s not like my brother was exactly my favorite person or anything. And, oh man, Michael was pissed.” Cas laughed, looking up at the ceiling. “We were only gonna do it for a couple months, y’know? But… somehow we ended up dating for real? All through summer break and then senior year.”

His smile faded and he shrugged. “Then college happened. I got accepted here, to Stanford, and she got into Oxford. She, uh, well she said it was fine and she didn’t have to go. But come on. Who are we kidding? Full ride to Oxford? I told her to go. She was smart and deserved it.”

“I’m sorry…” Sam mumbled. “Seems like you really liked her.”

“Nah, it’s okay. I did, but it's been a while. And besides, I generally tend to get attached to people more than they get attached to me.” He smiled again, even though it was tight.

“Yeah…”

“Okay! So how did we start dating?”

“What?”

“What’s our—” air quote “—meet cute? For anyone who asks.”

“Um…” Sam’s mind went blank as Cas stared at him, waiting for suggestions.

“You’re helpful.”

Sam made an exasperated noise. “Okay, fine. You think of something in five seconds!”

“Okay, after breaking up with Lucif— Luce, you were kinda moping around forever, so I dragged you out of the house and to the movies and then to dinner. The waitress at the diner thought we were a couple, and we thought it was funny so we didn’t correct her, but then in the parking lot, I kissed you and admitted I liked you.”

“But that’s all true!” Sam whined, shaking his head. “You didn’t think any of that up!” His face flushed and he was thankful that the room was dim except for the Christmas lights strung around the room and single desk lamp on in the corner where someone was actually studying. “I mean, except for the kissing part… And the you liking me part obviously.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever.” Cas laughed. “You can stop blushing, Sam.”

Not dim enough apparently. “I’m not blushing.”

Cas leaned forward and touched Sam’s face with his cold hands. “Pfft, yeah you are. Your face is really warm.”

“Shut up.”

Cas smirked but pulled his hand away.

“Does everyone call him Lucifer?” Sam forced the question out, his voice quiet, even though he’d been wondering for awhile and probably knew the answer.

Cas didn’t answer right away and Sam glanced down at his lap. “All your friends do.”

“Oh.”

“Sam.”

He met Cas’s blue eyes again.

“You were way too good for that ass. And you’ll always be too good for him.”

“That’s not tr-”

“Yes. It is true, Sam Winchester. I don’t care what he told you, but you are incredible and deserve so much more than him.”

Sam gave him a small smile, knowing that Cas believed what he was saying, but he was having a hard time believing it himself.

They both sat in silence for a little while until Cas came up with a new question.

“We’re gonna have to sleep in the same room, aren’t we?”

“I can sleep on the floor.” Sam shrugged. “Put some blankets or a sleeping bag there.”

“Yeah, no. Not happening, Sam. I mean, come on. As long as you don’t mind, I don’t care either. And your bed’s big enough.”

“Yeah, well, last time we ended up cuddling!” Sam’s voice squeaked nervously when he remembered the night after he broke up Luce.

This time Cas’s face turned red, but he shrugged. “You were drunk and miserable after that stupid party and your stupid breakup. And when I got you home you were already half asleep. You asked me to go to sleep with you with those puppy dog eyes. How was I supposed to say no?”

He broke his gaze away from Sam as two people came into the back room. “Oh. Hey, Balth. Hey, Gabriel.”

“Cas!” Gabriel grinned. “Who’s your friend here?”

“Oh, um. This... this is my boyfriend, Sam.” He scooted a little closer, and Sam held up his hand in an awkward wave.

“Winchester? Your friend who was dating Lucifer?”

“Not just my friends. Apparently your friends even know him as that,” Sam muttered.

“Okay, my fault,” Cas mumbled back.

“So you’re finally dating your roommate, huh, Cassie?” Balthazar asked, giving Cas a possibly suspicious look.

“Yes, yeah.” Cas was trying to pull himself together, but he obviously hadn’t expected having to lie to his friends already. “Dating my roommate!”

Balth still looked unsure but he didn’t say anything about it as Gabe pulled a chair to sit across from Sam and Cas and asked, “How long you been together? And with out telling us, Cas?”

“Uh, five weeks now, I guess.” Sam intertwined his fingers with Cas’s, partially because they had to look like realistic boyfriends but mostly because he was nervous and it made him feel better. “And no one really knows yet. We’re, um, I guess we’re taking it slow. Yeah.”

“When’s the wedding?” Gabriel wiggled his eyebrows teasingly.

Cas, who’d been taking a sip of his eggnog, almost choked. “What? Sam literally just said taking it slow.”

“He’s only joking, Cassie.” Balthazar smirked. “Don’t panic… Come on, Gabriel. Let’s leave the two lovers alone.”

“Ugh, fine. Catch you later, assholes.”

“Uh-huh. See you, Gabe.”

After Gabriel stumbled back into the main part of the cafe, Balthazar gave them a look. “Work on your acts, boys. Don’t know why you’re doing it, but if you want to be convincing... Well, you’re going to have to be a lot more convincing.” He left before either of them could reply.

“Could’ve gone worse?” Sam shrugged and Cas ran his fingers through his messy hair.

“It’s okay. We’ll make this work.” He stood up, not letting go of Sam’s hand, and pulled him to his feet. “Wanna go home?”

“Yeah. Dunno when exactly Dean’s driving up tomorrow, but I should probably get things ready for him.”

Jo winked at them as they walked past the counter, fingers still entangled.

“Thanks… for the eggnog, Jo,” Sam added, even though it was a lot more than that. “Goodnight.”

a/n: i’m.... not sure?? if this is any good?? but yeah??? there it is?? i hope i’ll have the next part up soon. feedback is appreciated, loves. xxx

Eggnog and Lies Tag List: @plaid-lover-bay25 @wintersfavoritechild @feathersinthesky @scentedglitterpeace @bernalheights @yifera @teenwolf-theoriginalsgirl @assbutt-still-in-hell @alliekay727 @ronweascly @mylifeisafuckingcrueljoke @ladylilithprime @jazzforthecaptain @lilsliceofpie @youarentreadingthis @otera-kicks-ass @secretlydaydreaminglifeaway @syeriane @nevermeanttofall @waywardtimelord @samspurpletoothbrush @kisahawklin @samflovver @soulless-sastiel @onlyslightlyobsessed1 @just-another-apple-scruff @heyjudecarryonbaby @dazzling-roaring-20s @supernaturalgirl33-blog-blog @italy-kun27 @pewdpewd @xxxcrimson-spyxxx @cat-fellow @thesmellofasinnamonroll @martorada @scentedglitterpeace @all-day-i-scream-about-sports @confessionsofafulltimenerd @devoted-to-boyking-samshine @yuseatonpotter @elliwhat @deadinsidebutliving

If you wanna get added to the tags or removed, hmu! literally so sorry if you were interested in @ladylilithprime‘s thing (because who isn’t interested in their writing?? it’s incredible??) and not mine!!

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traveller19 · 7 years

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Breyerfest Preparation

Happy Fourth of July! Since I have the day off for the holiday today, I’m taking a little time to psych myself up for Breyerfest. I haven’t been quite as deliriously excited this year as usual. I think it’s because a.) I’m not doing the show (I kind of regret not signing up now, but I’m also looking forward to volunteering and getting my volunteer model instead) and b.) I’ve been working and stressed and much further removed from all the hype than normal. But it’ll still be amazing, of that I am sure.

For my family, Breyerfest has always been a time of tradition. As a family, this is our thirteenth (my twelfth) year - we have been participants since 2005. Our every activity - what we do, who we make sure to catch up with, right down to where we eat - is preceded by years of having done it before. That being said, I think we make new traditions every year! I’ll be volunteering at the help booth (the tent outside the covered arena, next to Fluffy) this year on Friday morning and Saturday afternoon. Stop by to say hi or ask for recommendations of things to do in the area, or if you are new to BF or the model horse hobby and have questions.

Introduction over, I will now put forward Some Thoughts (THESE ARE MY PERSONAL OPINIONS and you are welcome to differ but please do so NICELY):

1. I cannot WAIT for room shopping at the CHIN. This is my absolute favorite thing OH MY GOODNESS. I don’t know what I want to buy, but I’m ready to squeeze my way into tiny crowded crappily lit hotel room after tiny crowded crappily lit hotel room. Especially if I have friends I haven’t seen in a year in said hotel room.

2. If the Bollywood Surprise model isn’t something I like this year I’m going to be sad. I was so disappointed in the Esprits last year - I’m not a fan of the wonkiness, and I still have one of the black and white pinto matte ones (if anyone wants to buy it, hit me up!)

3. Speaking of buying and selling - MY SISTER AND I WILL BE TABLING AT THE SWAP MEET THIS YEAR. Look for two blonde girls in their early to mid (that would be me, yikes) twenties. Buy my stuff, feed my plastic pony addiction.

4. On the special runs:

-Indu: I love the IDEA of him and his artist’s proof, but I’m worried his dapples will be super fish-netty. I’m still going to get him.

-Darjeeling: I love everything but that stupid white tail tip. But I’ll probably get past it, because he’s otherwise gorgeous.

-Saffron: Meh. Will want to see in person, but will probably pass.

-Namaste: Never in my life have I wanted to own a model horse less than this one. Bank account, you will find no threat here. Blergh. (Rejoice...not my thing. I sold all mine a couple of years ago at the last Swap Meet I tabled at.)

-Diwali: I was going to pass him (her?) up because...not a horse...but then I saw there were only 750 of them. Oh boy. And chalky. Yeah. Plus Dad loves cows. Lol.

-Kaalee: Cautiously optimistic. Want to see in person - the head might be a little big (I don’t think I’ve seen this mold IRL). But I might end up with one. It’s a definite possibility.

-Vahana: I WANT SO BADLY TO LOVE THIS HORSE. I mean, it’s a DRAFTER. And I absolutely LOVE the mold. But the color...I can’t. I just can’t. I might wait to try to get my hands on one of the bay original issues because I LOVE them. But this one...gah.

5. I’m really pleased with the Celebration Horse this year. Love chestnuts, love the Marwari, looks like decent shading, fingers crossed for an LSQ copy.

6. I have an extra special run ticket/button/celebration horse ticket for volunteering this year. HUZZAH!

7. Found out recently, much to my dismay, that the restaurant we often stop at either one the way to or from BF in Burlington, NC closed permanently. That was part of our tradition, and I am sad. (It closed due to tax evasion...what? Lol). Oh well.

8. I’ve GOT to get my hands on the SM single day ticket drafter Tushar. Wouldn’t mind the cantering WB Vivaan as well.

9. Anyone else REALLY looking forward to fresh squeezed lemonade at the park? ;)

10. “High Flying Haflingers”: sounds like something I HAVE to see!

11. That little Daly and Spanky Shetland/JRT store special set...yeah, I’m gonna need one of those.

12. Both raffle models are yummy, but I’m going to spend more money on tickets for the Sunday one. My family has only ever won Sundays anyway...three of them, to be exact! Fingers crossed.

13. I love watching the Splash Dogs and I hope I get a bit more time to watch this year. Happy dogs in water...it makes my heart feel warm.

For restaurant lists, recommendations, or general chat, comment/message/reblog and tag me! I LOVE talking about the hobby/BF. I’ll probably be posting some stuff on here prior to and hopefully during (though things get CRAZY) BF, tag “traveller does breyerfest 2017″. I hope to see some of you crazy model horse people there!

#traveller does breyerfest 2017 #breyerfest 2017 #breyerfest 2017 gateway to india #breyer #model horses #model horse hobby #breyerfest

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inspo-01 · 4 years

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7.4.20

Break ups are never easy, no matter what the situation was. I feel so lonely right now, so much is going on in life and I feel stuck and hopeless. Life sucks. My bf and I just broke up. Its good that we did, I know it but its still hard.

It was his birthday weekend. I had constantly asked what his plans were that weekend so I could plan something special for him. He had plans with his friends and family and things were still up in the air. So all he said was Friday we’d be going out to bars at night. Ok, well that was my last day at work and I didn't get off till 6pm. My friends had planned to meet up for dinner that day to also celebrate a friends birthday but as I worked I wasn't able to make it. I made my way to the city right after work getting to my bf’s place at 7:30pm. As I was arriving a huge storm hit, so I got soaked walking into his apartment. I enter and the place is filled with friends drinking, didn't expect that. I go into my bf’s room slightly surprised and he asks if I’m ready that we would be leaving in about an hour. clearly soaked and having just gotten off work I respond with a no stating I wasn't aware that they were pregaming and we’d be heading out so early. He left the room as I rushed to get ready and redo my hair that had gotten messed up from the rain. Once I was ready I walked out to throw away some trash as an excuse to scope out where everybody was to join in. His roommate was sitting at a table with his group of friends as they were also celebrating his birthday that weekend. In the kitchen was my bf and his guy friends just standing around in a circle talking. I felt outta place. Should I got stand next to my bf like a dog just standing next to his owner? or should I go see if there’s room at the table with random people and his awkward roommate? neither I went back to the room and hated myself for being so antisocial. I just felt uncomfortable and out of place for some reason. It made me kind of upset but I knew I had no reason to be because that was who I was being at the moment. My bf walks in a few minutes later hoping he’d ask me to go join them out there, he actually just says that his sister would be arriving soon if I could go entertain her while he hungout with his friends. So I was like ok? do I go out now? again hoping he’d say yes and include me in on what was going on out there, he said no wait here I’ll let u know when my sister gets here. so that clearly upset me. I knew I had no right to be angry at him because of how antisocial I was being at the moment but what he said really made me even more upset. knowing it was his birthday that weekend, I didn't want to ruin the mood so I tried to just push it aside and at least be glad that his sister arriving would give me a push to not be so antisocial. so I got out there tried my best to be a bit more social and pull up some chairs for his sister and I at the table where his roommates friends were at. luckily the guy next to me, which I faintly remembered previously meeting, started a conversation with me and I tried to talk a bit with his sister and gf too. now I usually wouldn't be this way but the party just seemed very separated and my bf just seemed really busy with his friends so yea it was hard trying to come out and be social. whatever we all get ubers and headed to the bars. yes by that time I was upset that my bf had told me to wait in the room, it just felt so shitty, so I wasn't giving the best responses to my bf at that time. in the uber my bf turns to me and “whispers” why are u acting like a bitch right now you need to stop, in the most demanding and angry voice I have ever heard come out from him. nope, to not get into an argument I simply began to text him, don't talk to me that way idk who u think u are but don't try to disrespect me. by the time we reached the bars clearly we weren't on good terms. we got there pretty late and because of the restrictions because of the virus right now we didn't spend much time there. my bf pulls me aside at the bar and ask why I'm acting that way. I try to explain that what he said in the room and his tone of voice in the uber really upset me but I'm not sure much of what we were discussing really got to him cuz he was probably drunk by that point. now I know I'm in the wrong here for being bitchy on his birthday but the way he talked to me was just unacceptable. see all these things just built up to what was to come. so we make our way back to their apartment with a smaller group this time and same thing in the uber he talks to me in that same tone. again I stayed quiet knowing It’d be best to bring it up and remind him it was unacceptable the next day when he was sober. anyway back at the apartment we continue to drink and all that. well as people started to leave I remember going into the room and somehow just fell asleep on the floor, in childs pose lol. well I remember being woken up by a forceful push. I wake up bewildered and see my bf in the bed looking at me. I question angerly what his problem was and why he had pushed me like that. with an attitude he responds saying he didn't mean to push me so hard and I honestly don't remember much but somehow the conversation escalated into an argument. I was upset asking why he was being so forceful and I remember asking if I could sleep in the corner of the room without him bothering me or hurting me. somehow it just kept escalating and I remember he reaches out and slaps me across the face. crying at that point I'm sure I swung back. He’s throwing all my bags at me telling me to leave. drunk and upset I'm asking him to let me just sober up and id leave first thing in the morning. he did not give a fuck he was pushing me out the door he’s telling me he didn’t care to just sleep in my car. Meanwhile I remember trying to call my brother to pick me up but he didn't answer, I called my friend as we passed the living room where his friend and sister had knocked out. He’s pushing me out, I'm crying as my friend picks up my phone dies and I'm left outside alone, drunk, and crying hauling my bags to my car. I just remember sitting in my car not sure what the hell to do barley processing what just happened. I think I was in a bit of a shock cuz it sobered me up enough to focus on driving myself home, safely.

The next few days were interesting. I couldn't believe that happened to me. He tried to reach out saying he was beyond sorry and he was extremely shameful and couldn't believe he himself did that. At first, I was sure I was not getting back together with him. After receiving many texts saying how sorry he was and that he would do all in his power to fix things, I was convinced that he deserved a second chance. People fuck up. I’ve fucked up in the past as well. After what had happened I wasn't too sure things could go back to how they used to be, at least not right away. I needed time to forgive him and I explicitly told him It wouldn't be the same and I needed my space. He seemed very understanding when we texted. Although he told me I was at fault too, and I recognize that I was being a bitch earlier that day and I should have been more mindful that it was a celebration for his birthday I still don't think what he did was right. He also brought up an incident that had happened a year ago in which I was drunk and was about to dance with another guy. That incident was a fuck up on my part and I had done the best I could to fix it along with my “Flirty” behavior I would sometimes show. We had came along way from that in my opinion and I felt that it wasn't right for him to try to justify what he did that night by bringing up my past. While yes that gave me some incentive to give him another chance I felt that he was using that again to justify his incident. I tried to explain it wasn't the right time to bring it up because it felt that way.

A week after the incident we decided on getting dinner together. He came over and was trying to be very loving and touchy and I honestly just wanted my space. Like I had said I needed time to in a way to move on from what had just happened. It was fine until we were sitting in the restaurant, he brought up the incident like it was nothing. I know he was just trying to talk about it with me and I tried to just recognize that. Somehow our conversation diverted to me and what I had done a year ago. He looked at me and said “if you ever do that again I'm done, I'm breaking up with u” in my head I was just thinking like...are u serious how are u bringing that up right now and threatening to break up with me over what had happened a year ago when I'm literally on the verge of breaking up with u for slapping me? I left the restaurant frustrated. I ended up breaking the silence in the car and once again explained that it wasn't fair for him to try and bring it up considering what we are gong through atm. His response was that in his eyes dancing with someone else is worse than being hit. While we have different views on that I acknowledge the fact that I what I had done was not right. but again it just wasn't the right time to bring that up again.

He texted me as he left my place saying that what had happened really seemed to have damaged me and that I should really think about whether I wanted to continue our relationship. Obviously it hurt and obviously it was gonna take time to fix things, our relationship was not gonna just go back to how it was right away, which I had clearly explained to him when he begged to give him another chance. He texted me about an hour later once he was home saying that I was very selfish and I don't acknowledge the fact that I’m at fault too and fuck up in the relationship too, and always play victim so he wanted to break up because of that. I had nothing more to say by that point. So we broke up. Like I said regardless of the situation break ups suck. Its hard not having that person around anymore. It sucks because of all the beautiful memories we had together. Its tough cuz I needed him to be there for me as I’m going though a really hard time rn. And so life feels lonely. Life feels depressing when so many things just keep going wrong. Its hard and I know its only temporary but its hard.

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rezilient-m3 · 4 years

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So, this past weekend I had my first scheduled, court ordered visit with my daughters. The last time I've seen them was Feb 2019 and last time I spoke to them was April 10th. I can say, though, that they seemed to have a genuinely good time here and didn't want to leave. That made me super happy. Plus, Alex came home for the weekend and they all got along too. I was worried a bit. But, all of us together worked. Our son loved having them here and to play with. I loved it.

This post is about what I've been through with James about the whole situation. It was impossible. I'll go back to Friday morning. He called me at 7am, so I knew right away he was drinking. That was a piss off. The court order was to meet in another city at 5pm Friday and take them back Sunday at 5pm. I knew it wasn't going to happen if it was up to him. I stayed on the phone for 3 hrs with him. I didn't want to lose the chance of not getting my visit, so I thought somehow, staying on the phone with him would help that? Idk whatever. It was 3 hrs of bitching about his gf. She kicked him out again, threatened to call the cops and blah, blah, blah. It was also him blaming me for EVERYTHING. Like, why did I leave him for Alex, or why did I "grow up" for Alex and not him, or why am I living in a house that's not mine? It was all senseless BS. But I didn't argue; I held my tongue. He tried to ask me to wait until the next morning to get my girls, then I can have them until Mon or Tues. I said no, it was my time with them and nobody was going to stop me.

He ended up going to his step dads, left me on the phone for a minute and I finally hung up. Now, I immediately contact my lawyer. Then, I called the family services they have on that reserve. On call worker told me she couldn't help because it was a court order not from anyone involving them, so it's out of her jurisdiction and said maybe try the cops. I call them. Talked to an officer and explained my situation. Girl's were at their house, with the gf, her kids and possibly other people drinking and their dad was at his dads. He said he couldn't just go in there and remove my kids because my order isn't "police enforced." But he offered to escort me to the house at about 430, just to "keep the peace". Whatever, that was fine. He called me back half hour later and said he was going to go check at the house, just to be sure everyone was okay. That was great I said.

I waiting over an hour and a half for that call back. I was worried. But here's what happened: they were found alone. There was 3 of our daughters, 2 of the gf's, one was the 7 month old baby they just had. So, my oldest is 9 (10 in 2 weeks) and her daughter is 10. Still not old enough to be old enough to watch a small baby. So cop said he was contacting family services to report everything. Apparently the gf got ahold of her ex MIL to go get the kids, so that's where I had to go get them. I showed up there at 3 ish.

I was so happy to finally see them.! But when they walked out that door I noticed how infested they were with lice... like caked.! The two youngest had it so bad they had their scalps covered in scabs. I was so mad. But I didn't say anything. The two youngest were also in winter boots lol. We were all happy anyways. When we pulled into my town I took them straight to the pharmacy to go ask what the pharmacist would recommend to help their scalp. She said, at first glance, it looked like it was from lice. I said, yes there's a lot. So, I bought 5 boxes (not cheap) and a fine comb. I was ready to spend hours in their hair. And that's exactly what i did, that night until 1am, and again all next morning Saturday until like 7 that evening. I can say they're not fully cleaned out but holee, there was a big difference in how their scalps looked and felt. My poor girls. Their fucken dad's excuse was allergies; they were allergic to shampoo. Bull fucking shit.

Anywhoo, next day is Sunday, the day they're supposed to go home. I contacted family services again and see what they planned on doing. She didn't really have a clue, but said she was going to forward all her notes to the office Monday and it was all up to her supervisor. But I told her I didn't feel comfortable about taking them back to that house. She understood. She advised me that I should keep them with me. She's also informed me that their dad and this girl have had multiple calls prior to this weekend. They already have "a huge file" (her words) on them already. Wow. I had no idea. So, after all the consideration, I decided to keep them.

Before I go on, I should throw in here that I had a spare cell phone I gave to my oldest. She wanted to talk to her half sister through Snapchat, so I let her. Those girls were still where I picked up mine. Noted. Anywhoo, I signed into Facebook with the account I had made them so their dad could facetime me for the calls he was (and still supposed) to give me 3x a week. I signed into it so she can talk to him if they missed him. Good idea? I'd like to think so. I'm not a horrible, vindictive person. My girl's honestly need him too. Then, I added my side of the family, her aunties and some of their cousins. Then, she found her family, including James' mom, her grandma. She had no idea they were coming, so she found out what had all happened that Friday. She was not happy. I heard her say to my girl that she was going to try get them to her. So, that Sunday, I did think of her. I would have took them to her if she was willing. But when I searched for her name on FB, I couldn't find her. She must have blocked me lol. Whatever. So, I thought if family services wanted me to take them to her on Monday, I'd gladly take them. I thought. I even mentioned this in one of the three long emails I've written to my lawyer. I had to explain every detail of why I decided to keep them with me, instead of following an order. Scariest decision I had to make because breaking a court order is serious. Like, the possibility of my stuff just getting thrown out. I'm still a little scared of that. But I thought that an opinion of a professional of advising me to keep them for their wellbeing would trump anything else, right? I hope.

So, it's still Sunday. Kids got put to bed at 1030, cuz Alex had to wake up at 5 am to get to work and I had to wake up and start calling everywhere important. I went out for my last smoke for the night and all of a sudden cops show up. Ask me some questions, I told them everything. They said grandma was down the street to pick them up and they were just here to keep the peace. I told them I didn't want them to go back to their dad. They said dad claims the same thing, that he's concerned for their safety. What a goof. I was pissed. And emotional, all of this caught me off guard, I started to cry. Especially that this fucken woman could have handled this better. She could have had the decency to talk to me her damn self instead of showing up at 11pm at night with the cops. What a bitch. She claimed she didn't know my number. I said, "James did, or she could have found me on fb, OR she could have told my daughter she needed to speak with me." What. A. Bitch. Cops actually said I can say no and keep them but I'd be breaking my order. It didn't matter if James has broken order after order, the one time I did it, and with every good reason, I was the one getting in shit. But I agreed to.

I woke them up, after I pulled myself together. Helped them get ready and pack clothes to go with their grandma. I cried after they were gone. Like ugly cried. For a long time. I'm so grateful my bf was with me through all of that. It would have been harder if he wasn't.

All day Monday I didn't hear anything. It was the hardest day to deal with because I just felt so discouraged and so scared that I fucked everything up. I'm still scared. But this morning (Tues) I finally got ahold of the supervisor at family services. She said she was still waiting for the police report because she couldn't make a final decision without it. Okay then. But I sent her before and after pictures of my kids hair, and told them a lot of relevant things that would help make their decision. As for the calls and files beforehand for James and his gf that were made, I asked if there was any way my lawyer can see them to help my case, she told me he can contact their lawyer for access. So, I've informed my lawyer and that email he replied to ASAP lol. Jerk. But he's contacting them and will let me know what he finds. Court is the 9th.

That is all that has happened in the last 5 days. A lot of highs and too many lows. I'm so glad my girls know where I live, they've seen their room and all the things I've been doing for them. They had fun, when we weren't in the bathroom, but even then, I got to have one on one with each of them. They know I love them and I'm trying to get them to be here permanently. They didn't even want to leave. That's what made me happy.

So, now, it's the waiting game. To see what happens with their case with family services and our court. I'm fighting for them until they're here. They deserve stability and I'm so happy I've grown enough to give them that. I can't wait to start my life with all of us here. They deserve better.

Until next time. ✌

Pray for me. 🙌

#allofme #mystory

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clearsandwicheagle-blog · 6 years

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What’s the cheapest car insurance in Houston, Texas?

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I just bought a 350z 2003 and I'm 19.. So I would like to know how much I will pay...

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Anything I should know before I move? Like is rent cheaper or auto insurance or like anything that would surprise me?

""Why do women get cheaper car insurance, that's stupid and totally discriminatory and plain our racist?""

In Europe the European courts have already ruled it unfair. google Cheaper insurance for women ruled unfair Wtf? Women are horrible drivers. I've only been in one accident my entire life of driving and it wasn't my fault, a WOMAN backed into me as I was passing a parking lot. Apparently that wasn't the first time she did that either. One other time a WOMAN almost crashed into me on the free way, she wanted to get into my lane but apparently she didn't see me and just without using a turn signal just decided to turn into my lane and luckily i was paying attention and was able to break soon enough and she probably came within inches of her back side smashing into my side. it caused me to break suddenly which made the car behind me break suddenly and honk his horn, i honked my horn and the lady in front of me was apparently clueless to the world. Anyways the reason if this is true because I don't believe it men might have more accidents is because they're more likely to become drunk. Men drink and drive more, not only that but they probably like to show off more. rates should be higher for people like them, not all men. Gender biases are unconstitutional because that's prejudice. Also it's a total lie that women make less money than men. when i waited tables, the women got all the good tips from men. while i generally just got the minimum tip. not only that but sometimes if i was dealing with another male, sometimes they didn't give me a tip at all especially if they were drunk or some scruffy looking truck driver trying to hit on the other girls. But if one of those hot girls waited on them, they would sometimes give them a tip that was more than the food that they ordered! I think it's all bs. and of course completely racist. Why does america allow this? You know in some countries they don't allow women to drive. MAYBE it's because they're bad drivers!!!""

Is there a reason to notify my auto insurance company of a student driver?

It will raise the crap outta my rates and since every licensed driver is insured and the insurance follows the car, not the driver, is there a reason? My young learner is 15 and has a learners permit. Right now the lessons have just been in the country, so no worries yet, but shes getting better and will be ready to get out among the other idiots on the road soon. Thanks""

How to convince parents to let me have auto insurance?

I've had my license for a little over three months now. However, I have no insurance, and therefore cannot drive (in California). Their reasoning is that I am an unsafe driver which I disagree with because I quite easily passed my driving test at the DMV and always think before I do anything when I drive. However, they seem firm on their decision... It's a bit frustrating having my license for so long but still being unable to drive. I'm tired of having to always ask friends for a ride or my parents; I just want a taste of independence. Of course, I'm not trying to be too arrogant or stubborn, I've respected my parent's decision, it's just bugging me a bit now haha. I offered to do a six-month plan instead of a year plan since I'm heading off to college in Septemberish. I'm about to turn 18 in a couple weeks also. Does anyone have any advice?""

Is there a car insurance that will give a young driver a reasonably quote?

i recently purchased a mk1 ford fiesta. theres no mods to the car and tax wise i think its a classic. its a 1984. i have wanted a mk1 fiesta for years now and its the car i want to drive. im 17 and the cheapest quote on any car ive been given is 2000. are there any companies that will give me a good quote on my fiesta

Is there any user friendly and cheap motorcycles out there?

Hi, I'm 17 years old and looking to get a motorcycle. I have good grades and will only drive a motorcycle when the conditions are right. Like weather, cars on the road Sat. Sun. which has less cars, and going to school and to work. I don't care if I die and I'm not afraid to die. I have $7,000 saved up in the bank and would like to buy a Ninja 250 for $3,500 -2008. Plus $400 for gear and classes. I will get my driver's license this December and will take the MSD courses in spring of 2010. I can't find any used or cheap ninja 250's around my area and I think I would rather go stright to the dealer rather then the seller because of too much red tape and work. I think my insurance will be cheaper because I will ride only to school and work and I have good grades. Even though I am young. SO, is there any place I can find any user friendly bikes or cheap ninja 250's?""

Can insurance rates go up if...?

If you have a provisional license issued and you get a citation for carrying passengers in your car before your 5 months is up, can your insurance rates go up? If so, how much?""

Adding a new driver to insurance.?

In Ontario, if a new driver was added to insurance on a 03 dodge caravan how much would it be about?""

What used 4 door sedans are cheap on insurance?

Im 18 years old, turning 19 in december and need a car for college, what would be a good 4 door sedan, 4 cylinder, that is good on gas, cheap on insurance and cheap on repairs, reliable. What would be a good first car? Im not staying and living at the campus, im coming back home everyday.""

California health insurance?

I am looking to get health insurance for a year, more to take care of neglected issues than to cover my butt if I get sick/hurt (I'm 27, betting on youth and good health!). Kaiser seems to be the most appealing because they cover a broader range of services. I am namely interested in physical therapy (winged scapula), dermatology (oily skin/acne), perhaps mental illness services as I have suffered from depression (although I somewhat consider it a problem of my past). I'm aware insurance plans won't cover preexisting conditions, but how can they really prove these issues didn't start yesterday, right? I'm overwhelmed with my choices. Is it worth paying $330/mo for $0 deductible, 0% coinsurance, $40 co pays and a max out of pocket @ $3000? Or is it smarter to pay $166/mo, $2700 deductible, 0% coinsurance, $0 co pays after deductible, and max out of pocket @ $5000 (including deductible)? Etc. I have put off getting insurance because I'm scared I will pick a completely inappropriate plan. Can anyone shed some light on this for me?""

What are cars that don't cost much for insurance?

Im turning 16 soon and a lot of cars I've wanted are vintage so they don't cost much, like the chevy vega but of course the insurance for them would be ridiculous, so my dad is suggesting junker cars but of course i don't want a junker (im paying for the car) what are some cars that are affordable without having to spend a fortune on insurance?""

Whats the CHEAPEST car insurance for a teenage girl to get?

I'm a 17 year old girl, junior in high school, and I'm trying to find out whats the cheapest car insurance I get get on my car.""

Small business looking for new health insurance.?

I own a small business and my health insurance has gone up so much I can't afford it. I need a new agent and an affordable policy. Small group, just my family and 1 lady who uses it as a supplement.""

What's the cheapest car insurance in Houston, Texas?

I just bought a 350z 2003 and I'm 19.. So I would like to know how much I will pay...

""When you rent a car, what happens if you get into an accident? Does your own insurance company?

cover your liability? Or will insurance automatically come with the car you rent? How does it work?

Can I sue my Car Insurance Broker?

I recently got into an accident. I was at fault. Rear-ended a guy, who rear-ended another car because of me. Was talking to my children in the backseat. Just bought a NEW car, a month ago, October 13. When we purchased the car, my Insurance Agent mentioned there was a problem with our insurance, that they needed to correspond with New Jersey Indemnity about some drivers that could be associated with my insurance. The Insurance Agent then called us back, said everything was okay, we purchased the car, and was able to drive it out from the dealership with our new insurance (full cover) on October 13. On October 16, the Broker made an appointment for an Insurance Inspection Report. We also paid an Endorsement to Insurance Company via our Insurance Agent. My accident was a month after the purchase of the car, November 12. Got our police report, went to our insurance Broker, they say that our policy was cancelled October 15, TWO DAYS after we purchased our new car. Please educated answers only. Can I sue my broker? What else can I do? I have children, would never drive without insurance...""

How much would my insurance be for a mustang 1994 & 17 yr old.?

Would i have to get my own insurance or have my parents put my car on there insurance since its gonna be in there name b/c i only have a permit

How long will it take insurance company to pay off stolen car?

How long will it take for insurance company to pay for car? & what happens if they recover it?

Where can I get affordable child only insurance in Virginia?

We had Virginia FAMIS but they took it away after my husband got a new job. Though he does make more money now there is no way I can pay 200$ a month for my son to be added to the company health insurance! I work, but they take out 340$ a month for child care out of my check! Why doesn't FAMIS consider things like this? Anyway it seems everywhere I check for child only insurance it doesn't seem to exist. They want you to have a parent on the policy as well, and I really don't have money for that!""

Pregnancy insurance?

How much does pregnancy insurance cost for a young couple? I'm not pregnant yet, and we're both healthy. Just want to play it safe... :p Thanks so much everyone! :)""

16 year old insurance for a moped UK?

Hey, i'm thinking of buying a moped but before i buy one, i need to make sure that the insurance won't be too expensive otherwise i won't be able to afford it. I will basically be using the moped to get to college and back home. Any ideas as to how much insurance will cost on average? I am currently 16 years of age and will be turning 17 in December 2013. I live out of london if that helps. Thanks in advance :)""

Could affordable government health insurance help stimulate the economy?

Services like water treatment, police, fire departments, and schools are supported by taxpayers dollars because it saves money in the private sector in the long run. Affordable government health insurance may also saves families thousands in expenses each year, giving them more money to spend in the general economy. Would this not be a way to help stimulate the economy?""

Can i put my car under my dad's insurance even thou its registered to me?

My car is financed but the insurance rates are thou the roof! im paying over 475 a month for full coverage, can i have my dad add it to his policy as a second car and still have it registered under my name? Will the finance company find out? will this be possible?""

Insurance on a Audi tt?

I passed my test September 2013, I am 18 and for the car I currently have my car insurance is 1,250 or so. If I got an Audi tt that was a 2000 plate would the insurance be sky high?""

How much does car insurance cost if you're under 21 in North Carolina?

Hi. I'm 20, female, turning 21 late next month and my mom is planning to ship her 1998 mercedes benz sedan to me (in NC) from california early next month. I went to a driving school when I was 17 and I have been driving ever since. I also do have a clean record. If I would want to have a full coverage, how much do you think will it be per month? And also, since I am turning 21 in a couple of weeks after the car itself arrives here, do you think it will cost me less? Thanks.""

Car Insurance Question?

I'm looking at buying a four door sedan but I don't have car insurance. The reason that I don't have insurance is because I only have my permit. Unfortunately, I no longer live with my parents so I don't think their insurance will cover me. I've been trying to get quotes from various companies for when I do get my license but many of them will not even give me a quote if I don't have my license. Are there any car insurance companies that will offer insurance to me while I still only have my permit? I already found a car that I like before realizing my parents probably won't be able to put me on their insurance so I'm trying to figure this out quickly but thoroughly. I'd really like to get it soon because I hate driving in my parent's minivans since they are huge and I have trouble seeing out the tinted back window. So far the only option I see is to have my parents buy the car for me until I have my license (which I plan to get before December to avoid learning in the snow).""

What Vehicle has the highest insurance rates?

I friend of mine wants to purchase a Mustang and she was told that the rates in Georgia would be high....Does the color of the vehicle make a difference also?....I have heard the color Red would bring you into a high pay rage with insurance....not too sure so I'm asking....thanks

Need cheap & affordable Health Insurance?

I have a friend, Yes a Friend, She and her husband are paying $160 a month for Health insurance & its, Medi-cal, Which is Welfare, So I told her that there has to be a GOOD Insurance out there that is cheaper, She needs help, Can she find anything thats better then $160 month.""

Car insurance Question?

Hey I Am looking for some advice from a driver or someone in the police or dvla or just someone smart :) I am going to be buying a car but I am on a provisional so I will not be able to drive the car on my own as of yet however if I get my mums friend to drive it to an off road parking space is there some sort of day insurance that she can buy to get it there as I dont want to insure it till I am going to be driving it. Yet you cant drive it on the road without insurance and just before any1 says dont do it you will drive it your full license I am not going to do that as I will be joining the police one day and will not ruin my chances of a fantastic career. So yeah thanks in advance oh and 10 Points for best quick answer :D

Affordable Car insurance for an 18 year old male?

So I did a quote on several sites (Progressive, Esurance etc) and the quote comes up to about $2,000 a month, $8000 for a 6 month policy!! This is crazy, it is twice as much as the value of my car!! Where can I find a quote for a lot less maybe $100 a month or something? My mother does not drive and I am the only driver in the house so I can't use her. Mazda 6i 2004 6Cylinder I am a full time student and worker""

Ticket and insurance rates?

My parents have 3 cars all insured in their names. I am 18 and I have my license but they never put me on the insurance because I almost never drive I usually just bike or get rides so it would be a waste of money putting me on. But recently I had to drive and I got a ticket driving for the first time in about 6 months. I am trying to get my ticket taken off my record but if I can't and it stays on then whats next? will it affect my parents insurance? or will I be forced to get on the insurance too? Is there anything I can do since I'm most likely not going to drive again until I go out and buy my own car later on.

Health Insurance question for California?

Is there a state program for minors(age 16) of low income?

My fiance got hit in my car is it an insurance problem?

I bought a car about 5 months ago and got full coverage insurance through State Farm with myself listed as the driver of the car and only my name on the insurance. My fiances car recently broke down so we sold it to salvage and canceled her insurance for it. I have two cars so I let her borrow the newest one today because its an automatic. Pulling out to turn a woman struck her passenger side with a minivan. I haven't seen it yet but the damage she says is very light a scratch and the front corner of the headlight broken. The other woman agreed it was totally her fault and provided all her insurance info but they didn't call the police to make a report :( So will this cause a problem when I call the womens insurance company or if I have to call mine if her insurance won't pay and who should I contact first just her insurance or mine and hers? I don't want to tell my company if I don't have to I turn 25 in a week and my rate is suppossed to drop big time and I don't want to screw that up.

Car insurance problems?!?

So I've had my license since I was 18 and now I'm 21, my boyfriend has always just let me use vehicles that he would give me that are registered in his name and on his insurance and I already know someone is going to point out its a bad idea I don't have my own vehicle, we have been together 5 years and haven't had a problem, but recently when I was driving my truck, registered and insured by him, some senile old woman pulled out around 8 feet in front of me and stopped right in the middle of the road so her whole car was right in my lane and the back end of her car was still sort of on the road she was pulling out of, I slammed on my breaks and when I realized I wasn't stopping I turned my wheel as hard as I could so I didn't hit her and I ended up just catching the end of her car and totalled mine by hitting the stop sign and about 4 trees on the road she was coming out of because of the fact that I was driving my boyfriend's insured vehicle and me and him live together, his insurance automatically added me to his policy which caused it to sky rocket from $190/mo. to over $400/mo. I was wondering if he should try to switch companies, or just keep me on his insurance whether he switches or not ?""

Is Landlords insurance much higher than homeowners insurance?

in Philadelphia, PA.. I have my house rented and the homeowners insurance found out and now they are cancelling my policy. I did not even know there was such a thing as landlords insurance..""

""Car insurance question. Help desperately needed, please!?""

Here's the situation. Before I start here, I will say I have never sold a car/transferred insurance in my life until now (I'm 37) and I'm panicking. (Please don't laugh; I am somewhat mentally disabled and have a hard time understanding business side of things). Please bear with me: I have a 2000 Chevrolet Malibu with 178,000 miles on it. Last Friday, my husband's brother decided to give his 2005 Hyundai Elantra (53,000 miles) to us as a free gift. We decided to sell the Malibu to some friends of ours (with whom we have been friends for quite a few years). My friends have already paid us and they have a Bill of Sale and next week we are getting a duplicate of the Chevy title in the mail (because we lost ours), at which time we will transfer. Here is where the confusion begins: My mother-in-law (who is a retired State Farm insurance agent) drew up a Bill of Sale that indicated as its last sentence at the end, Buyer will show proof of liability insurance at the time the car is received (or something like that; I don't have the Bill of Sale in front of me). We saw our friends today to get the Bill of Sale notarized (they already paid for the car; we're just waiting for the title for the Malibu to arrive via mail, as mentioned above). Their insurance agent is about 90 miles away, I find out, and will need pictures of the car. Our friends insist that my mother-in-law is just being a mom since we're new at such a transaction (our friends have owned and sold boats, cars, etc., so they are experienced at this, too), meaning that she's being overcautious by saying they need to present proof of liability insurance at the exact time I give them the keys to the car. So, once I give them the title and the keys, are they responsible for when they get the car insurance? My Hyundai is covered through my insurance agent (my mother-in-law called them and got coverage on it already), but she insists that I am not to get insurance verification on the Hyundai until the friends show proof of their insurance on the Malibu after they get possession of it. Is that correct, or is my mother-in-law just being overcautious? (I would think that once I switch the Malibu title to my friends' name and give them the keys, that would relieve me of any responsibility any longer to the Malibu). Help me, please. I am so confused; I have my mother-in-law telling me one thing, and my friends telling me another. Both sound correct. So would I be right if I did these (in this exact order): 1) switch the title over to their name & give them the keys to the Malibu. 2) call my insurance agent and report that I sold my Malibu, and ask them to type insurance vertification for the Hyundai. (would I have to be present in person for them to type the verification for the Hyundai? Also, would my report of me selling the Malibu mean that they would cancel the insurance on it immediately?) I am sorry this is so lengthy; I tried to explain this the best as I could. I just want to do what is correct in the eyes of the law.""

Which is the cheaper car insurance in uk.?

i m 29 new driver looking for cheap car insurance can any one helps me for it please

How much does UPS ground insurance cost?

selling my psp through ebay and would like to know how much does it cost to get insurance on the item and delivery confirmation

Reduce motorcycle insurance?

would it be feasable to buy a moped (100ccish) & insure it for a couple of years just to get some no claim bonus!! then in a year or 2 buy a proper bike ( 650ccish) & hopefully the insurance will be cheaper. i used to have bike in my youth when i passed my test but as i havent ridden 1 for a while its difficult to get insurance ( reasonable cost any way ) thanks

What's the cheapest car insurance in Houston, Texas?

I just bought a 350z 2003 and I'm 19.. So I would like to know how much I will pay...

What is the cheapest insurance I can get after an accident in NJ??

I am 18 years old so insurance is already extremely high for me(1100 for a 6 month policy through GEICO) and I recently had a minor accident where I rear ended another car and got a careless driving ticket. Im sure my rate will skyrocket in my next policy and I am wondering what I can do about it.

How much will my car insurance cost?

So im 18 years old . soon im going to drive a 1999 Mitsubishi eclipse gst ( automatic ) I have only been pull over when I was 17 years old for no driver license or permit, driving with no insurance, and blasting loud music, and I did paid the ticket on time too witch was 340$ so I was wondering can I still get a permit or driver license? Because some people said that I can't take it till im 21. Also some people say that i'll have to pay like around 400$ per month for insurance. is that really true?""

I need some legit cheap dental insurance..please help?

I have a upper wisdom tooth that needs to be emergency removed and I have no insurance and there is over 40 dentists in my area that will not take a payment plan and the one plan I applied for did not accept becuz I don't make enough money...heck im low income...but in major pain...anyone help? pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee

In wreck in oklahoma with out insurance what wil happen to me?

was in wreck with out insurance there were people hurt what could happen to her?

Why did my friends mother want me to have car insurance?

I wanted to pick up my friend and have her come to my house. Her mother said i have to have car insurance to have her daughter in the car with me. I was just wondering why.

""Cheapest Car Insurance in Houston, Texas?""

Okay I am 21 will be turning 22 this October, I have a 1989 Chevy Blzaer, never had any violations can you guys give me a hand here please. Thanks.""

Car insurance and speeding tickets in NJ?

I have 12 years driving with not problems and not tickets, but my husband just got a speeding ticket a 90 miles por hour.The problem is that my insurance went up to the double. What can I do to get a better rate without removing him from my police?""

Are there other ways to get your car back from the insurance company?

i went to pay my insurance company and they when i payed it they wanted my i.d so i was looking for my license where it was no where to be found so i looked for it around my entire house from top to bottom and the company refuses to give my car back untill i have some type of identification....i cant fin dit anywhere ANYWHERE! is there any other way? social security, birth certificate something!?""

""Insurance,if I buy a car and get my dad to registered keeper and owner and he insures it wi me as main driver?""

Is this legal their is a space on go compare ask n who the main driver would be ive got dr10 ins10 twice lc20 All from 2008 so cheapest quote is 5k. My dad also has his car too with 8 yrs no claims so idea is to insure my car registered in his name with the 8 yrs no claim s wi me as main driver and insure his car without no claims bonus got a quote on go compare 1000 for my car wr dad as registered keeper me as main driver and he would have to pay on his own car with no claims bonus not on should still b cheaper than , ,5k help!""

New Car with Hail Damage - Insurance?

I am looking at buying a new car that has minimal hail damage to the bonnet and roof. About 10 tic tac sized dents all up, extremely hard to see. They are discounting it heavily and I really like the car but when I rang up the insurance company today they said they will not insure it. Does anyone know any companies that will insure a BRAND NEW minimally HAIL DAMAGED CAR? (Melbourne, Victoria, Australia)""

Individual: How much more expensive/cheaper is Obamacare compared to other medical insurance plans?

Also does Obamacare give you more or less benefits.

Getting added on to my parents auto insurance?

ok well i just got my license and want to get added onto my parents insurance and a want to know an estimate on how much it would cost for me to do that. Im a 17 year old male and my parents have AIG. So please help me

How much do you think it would cost a 16 year old on insurance for a 1993 Honda Accord?

Whats a cheap car to insure for a 17 year old?

What motorcycle insurance companies would you recommend to any young rider aged 16-18?

I would like to know which is the best company to go for as I plan on getting a 125cc motorcycle as a means of social and domestic transport, I've seen mce and that's the cheapest comapny I can find at 990 are there any other cheaper companies with good benefits ?? Thanks""

Unemployment Insurance for Teenagers?

The business I have worked at for 3 years has just announced they are shutting their doors at the end of the month. I am only 17 but have been told that I am still able to apply for unemployment benefits...which I know next to nothing about. Basically, I've only worked 10-20 hours a week for a wage slightly above minimum. It's just been a part time job for me since I'm a student and involved in several sports and challenging classes. However, I'm still trying to save money for college, so...what do I actually get when I file for unemployment and am hunting for a job? Anything? Sorry if this question sounds ditzy...I don't know much about the workforce.""

How can I find out the legality of an auto insurance advertised online?

I''m shopping around for my car insurance online and I don't know how to find out which one is good legally. Please help.

Motorcycle and atv insurance?

Eventually i plan to get a motorcycle (suzuki hayabusa) and atv (yamaha raptor). What is the average cost of insurance for both of those??

Can I move my car insurance now?

I am currently insuring my car with direct line and they are charging me 47 per month however I have just noticed that when i do an online quote with them- exactly the same cover as what I have its priced at 23 per month. Can I move my car insurance to a different company now or do I have to wait for the renewal date? If not why are they charging me so much more than their online quote? Also the cheeky gits charged me 60 to renew my address with them when i moved house....surely that can't be right??

How will the Affordable Care Act impact part-time and full-time employees?

So I get that employees working 30+ hours, and where there are 50+ employees, have to be offered health insurance, lest the company get a fine, but I'm not sure how that will work ...show more""

Car insurance for 17 year old guy?

i just got my license and im thinkin buyin 2010 Mustang. How much would insurance cost and what insuranse company is cheapest?

What kind of deaths does life insurance cover?

Would it cover something like a heart attack or stroke?

Is my fiat Coupe 16 Valve turbo going to be a classic?

Pretty much as th title says really.. What do you all think and why? I think it is the best car Fiat have ever made and that it will be, especially the 20 Valve LE and Plus versions.""

Does the car appearance affect insurance?

Does the car appearance (good or bad) affect how much we pay for car insurance. I know insurance companies always ask What condition is your car?..any dents, etc does saying its in good condition make the rates go up or down?""

Car Insurance Quote...?

I've just been reading up on the internet about car insurance quotes and come across this, http://www.saxperience.com/forum/archive/index.php/t-383714.html On there are ALOT of people saying, when it asks for how long you've had your licence its from when you first had your provisional.. is this true??? i bloody hope so cause this would bring down my insurance down A LOT!""

What's the cheapest car insurance in Houston, Texas?

I just bought a 350z 2003 and I'm 19.. So I would like to know how much I will pay...

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/wimberley-texas-cheap-car-insurance-quotes-zip-78676-craig-cabrera/"

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automatismoateo · 6 years

Text

Religion is going to end my marriage and I need help. via /r/atheism

Submitted March 13, 2018 at 04:54PM by Anti_theist1991 (Via reddit http://ift.tt/2GoFZ11) Religion is going to end my marriage and I need help.

To anyone who took the time to read this, thank you. I have no one to talk to. I feel hopeless and frustrated. My life has been full of religion, it constantly follows me. I want to get away and just leave everything. Take my children and go. But I have no one and no place to go.

Here's my story. It's long. I grew up in a rural area in Idaho. I was homeschool and the youngest of 10. Our religion was our life. More important than education we would focus our studies on the bible. Our social life was our family and the church. We had church 2 times on Sunday, once on Wednesday and Friday. To say church was our life was an honestly an understatement. I'm not going to state what our religion was but woman wore dresses and covered all skin but head, hands and ankles down and didn't cut our hair. We didn't watch tv, play sports or even celebrate christmas. (Pegan holiday)

That all being said I still had a very happy and loved childhood. My dad left when I was 10. He and my mom were both of different religions his was just as cultish as ours but hi was different and they argued a lot. He had multiple affairs and finally decided to marry the last one. By 13 my Mom decided it was time to pick up and move put of state. Get a freah start, our church had split and things weren't good with my Dad. Of course we decided where we were going based on if a church of our religion was there and how good their "standards" were. We ended up moving and the church there wasn't quite as conservative as our last but my mom was okay with it as long as we still lived our conservative beliefs. For example skirts could be up to the knee, and you could watch some t.v. as long as it was minimal and clean. Things changed for the better and by this time I had some friends and a better social life. I started watching tv and loosening up what I believed. I also struggled immensely during this time within myself concerning god and religion. I always thought I must be a doubting Thomas and that was my struggle. That I shouldn't ever question God and instead pray harder or do more. But in the back of my mind from a very young age I questioned all of it.

At 15 I met someone. In church of course. He was my older brothers best friend and we started talking. For 2 years he was my best friend and although we only had one date outside of church get together we fell in love. Due to the lack of proper sex education and my own stupidity I got pregnant. I was 17. This was huge. I thought my life was over. I was going to forever be marked within the church and knew I had done the unforgivable sin. I considered abortion. I considered suicide. I decided I was go to my father in Idaho to clear things out. I knew my mother would kill me and would influence my decisions. My father was on his 3 marriage at this point, (2nd since my mom) and honestly didn't care what I did. He did care that I was 17 and had 2 years of child support left and knew my bf had a good job and insurance and so he encouraged us to marry. I thought long and hard about it. I didn't want to marry someone just because I was pregnant. But in the end I loved my bf very much. And so we decided to marry. I moved back and although I was by my mom and my now husband and I got our own place away from her and were excited about starting a life together.

The church was awful. I honestly don't know how I did it, looking back now. They stuff I was pit through was for lack of a better word, ungodly. Everything was stripped from me, which I thought was the correct thing to do since I had sinned. People were rude and I lost any friends I had. But I i was still okay. I was focused on following god and staying faithful. When our son was born my life changed. He was my whole focus. I stayed home with him until he was 1 and them went to work. This was the first time I had done anything not controlled by my mom or the church. My husband was okay with it. He worked hard and every penny counted.

During this time I also continued to have these thoughts that what I believed was wrong and I needed to truly find out what I believed for myself. I decided it wouldn't hurt to ACTUALLY research my beliefs for myself. All the questions I had god would provide an answer through his word. Which is where I started. Why is the bible true? Evidence. And the evidence was there. So obvious. Everything I believed was a lie, because the bible is a plagiarized book of man written lies and fallacies with a god who is cruel in the old testament and contradictory in the new testament. I keep my studies to myself and slowly stopped going to church. During this time my husband was working 3rd shift and missing a lot of church. Finally very gradually we both stopped going. I kept my reasons why to myself.

Life changed for the better. I felt beyond free and found how full and wonderful life is. We bought a house, my job was going well, we decided to have another child and life was good. We rarely talked about church but I would hint to him that I was an atheist. After our daughter was born I decided to be a stay at home mom again. I've always thought my husband preferred that. Being that in the church the woman is under the man and takes care of the home and kids. Which I did while working but anyway it's different when you are home only.

Over the years my family changed as well. My mother became a messianic Jew. She wanted to follow every detail in the bible. Like all the customs and things in the old testament. Then my sister became Muslim. So religion was talked about a lot. And I had said a lot of things to my husband and family about my beliefs and finally just come right out and said I was am atheist a part of the reasons of why. Honestly as an atheist I have had no desire to change anyone into an atheist. As long as you are not hurting yourself or those around you you are welcome to believe whatever you want. Even though I disagree.

Over the past couple years my husband and I have had several conversations about church and why I don't believe that anymore but if he still wanted to be a Christian I was fine with that. I just don't want it affecting our children. Child indoctrination should be punishable by law in my opinion. But if he wanted to go to A "church" and teach his child that this is what he believes then I also would state this is what I believe and neither of us would push it on our kids that would be fine. As long as we let them decide.

But here is where my problem is, I've known for a while by things he has said that he wants to go back to that church. And I have a HUGE problem with that. It's one thing to just be a Christian and do good but that church is completely legalistic and isn't what Christianity is supposed to be. He has brought it up more and more. So being that I don't care if he wants to be a Christian I encouraged him to find a non denominational church. Some place he could go and be a Christian without all the legalism that for sure would effect our marriage and most importantly children. I felt like this was a compromise for both of us. As much as I despise religion I felt like if he really did believe in the bible and jesus, I couldn't well shouldn't, take that from him. But I was not going to go through the religious strife my mother and father went through growing up and seeing how the fact that they believed so strongly in different religions was the start to the end of their marriage.

Anyway since i wanted to make sure he knew l was trying to let him believe what he wanted i actually went out and found a church that was non donominational. I truly believe these were good people. They were true "Christians" in that they were followers of jesus and go out and help their community by giving food out on the streets, helping in elderly homes and much more. All things i would love our children to be involved in as well as myself. Only they believe in doing good in the world because of the bible where as I don't. But this was fine by me. It feel like a good middle. Problem was there were a couple people there who had came from our old church. One of them made a comment about our old pastor. It wasn't even that awful it was just talking about how that pastor lifted himself up with the money from the church and only grew the church instead of going out and doing something good with his money from the church. And trust me there are much worse things that can be said about that pastor. Either way my husband was pretty upset about this and told me he would never go back.

That was about 6 months ago. In the mean time he talks of our old church more and more. And so I've opened up and let him know EVEN MORE why I don't believe in the bible and god. I was trying to hold back but I figured since clearly he won't go to an "easy Jesus" church , as he put it, I would let him know EXACTLY why what he believes was wrong. For the most part we haven't had any real arguments and he seemed fairly open to conversation. They difference in him and I though is I can easily explain my beliefs because I am constantly reading and learning where as he hasn't been to our old church in years and isn't sharp with a rebuttal to my points. Thing is we both grew up in this so I know what he claims to believe as well and why it's wrong.

Over the past few years he has gone to church a handful of times.like Easter and such. And every time it bothers me. But he thinks I'll get over it. He won't ever talk to me about why he is going to church, whats the goal here. If you are going to be a Christian then be a Christian at home in every day life. Not just on Sundays once a year. He has told me if he doesn't go to THAT church he isn't a christian.

Then last night happened, he told me about a month ago that he was planning on visiting the church for a special preacher they were having in town. I cringed in the inside but decided it wasn't worth the fight, it was one visit. So last night was the night. unfortunately it snowed during the day yesterday which is rare for March where I am and the roads were awful. The church is 30 mins from us. When he came home from work I told him I was concerned about the roads and thought he should not drive out there and to instead go the the service they were having tomorrow night (tonight) he was insistent at first then agreed he would just go tomorrow. About 10 mins pass and his phone goes off. He goes into the bathroom. When he comes back out he tells me he has to go get ready. Confused I ask "what for", he says, "church". Of course I get frustrated and say to him that he is being ridiculous he just agreed to go tomorrow. I asked him who texted him and told him i think its ridiculous to go to church because someone from that church is counting on him going. If they cared they would be fine if he waited a day. Instead he went and took over an hour to get ready. Showered, shaved (no beards allowed in church) combed his hair, brushed his teeth and pit on a whole suit not to mention he went out and bought a new suit and tie. You are probably thinking I'm being crazy detailed and what difference does it make that he got ready to go? This man never, NEVER gets dressed up for anything. Never had he taken that much time to even go on a date with me. He also NEVER buys new clothes. He bought a new shirt and tie for this occasion. Our 9 year anniversary was in January. He did nothing. So on Valentine's a few weeks later I forced him to take me to dinner and a movie. If I could get him to brush his teeth it would be a miracle. To me this proved what a show this whole church thing is. It shouldn't be about who is waiting for you there or what you are wearing and how good you look. It should be about having a (supposed) relationship with god. That's what HE is supposed to believe. Let's just say I was a little ticked. I'm done. I'm fucking done. I'm done holding myself back from his bullshit religion. And I told him as much. He said that no matter what he did I was going to be upset and left.

He came home very late last night. Something was odd about his mood but we had argued before he left and I figured it was best not to argue again before bed so we just went to bed. This morning when we were getting ready for the day he was super loving towards me. I snuggled with him as I do every morning and asked him about how things went last night, like who did he see and all. Trying to keep things normal. He responded by saying, abruptly, "I'm going back tonight and I'm going whenever I want to". I immediately moved back. Taken aback. He waited for me to respond and all I said was, "it's too early too talk about this just go too work you're gonna be late". And he left.

I knew this day was coming. I knew deep down he would want to go back because that is what he is familiar with and what he thinks is right. He thinks they are the only church with truth and he will go to hell if he doesn't go. I cannot tolerate him going. It will ruin our marriage. It will ruin our kids. I am trying to meet him in the middle but I will not allow our kids influenced by that legalistic religion. Please help me. If anyone reading this as any advice, help me. Please don't tell me to let him go and try to tolerate it for the kids and our marriage. I cannot simply because I know what they teach. At some point he will want to bring our kids and will start to force his beliefs on us. That's how that religion works.

A part of me wants to leave. Take my kids and go. But I don't have anywhere to go. And I truly love him... And he loves his kids. I don't know what to do.

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