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iridescentlemoncandy · 2 years

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Trajectory - Raising Hell [Osborn]

Part 2: 10 Years Ago, Midsummer

"He would eventually abandon me, too."

TW: Sexual Abuse, Death, Gun, Blood, Knife, Violence

It had been four years since I first moved in with Ye Chuan.

When a mother and son moved into the neighbourhood not too long ago, the rumours around me began to circulate again. They said I was an orphan and a monster that no one wanted. My parents supposedly gave up on me because I am so incredibly bad-behaved, as they put it.

I've always ignored the disdainful glances people have cast my way. They couldn’t hurt me. I realised that the ones at fault were not myself but rather the others. But I couldn't help but think about the rumourmongers right before bed. It made me think about the people they mentioned in those rumours. Over time, I began to feel angry at myself for even considering it.

Did I not just say that we would have nothing further to do with one other? How come I kept having dreams about them? Were those years of happiness with them the reason? If complete strangers heard my story, I figured they'd be furious and condemn them as unfit to be parents. Their departure was, in any case, greatly anticipated. It would be fitting if there were reports of their unfortunate demise one day. In no way could I afford to miss them.

For this reason, I would always feel an immense amount of self-loathing whenever I woke up from a dream involving them. I despised my own contradictory nature. Morally, I should despise them, so I couldn't tell anyone else. The more I isolated myself, the less I wanted to talk to anyone. I was on the lookout for a safe haven where I could either completely conceal myself or feel safe enough to reveal any and all details of my life. Sooner or later, I'll get out of here and find that place of freedom.

Hence, even after Ye Chuan repeatedly asked that I call him "dad," I proceeded always just to call him by his name.

I knew, deep down that he would abandon me soon after. I wasn't under any pressure to try extra hard to win his approval out of fear of being abandoned. But I know that he might not love me if I didn't act this way. Over and over, I assured him that if he ever had second thoughts, he could always get rid of me. Because I didn't want to come home to an empty house after school.

These four years, I had been counting down the days until that day finally came—until I was in junior high.

In regard to my education, I'd never let Ye Chuan have any say. He was quite conscientious, acting as a responsible parent figure. Even if I got myself into some serious problems, he wouldn't be there to bail me out. There had never been a feeling of freedom like it. And the more they told me to stop being such a wild monster, the more satisfied I became. It was as if I was no longer held hostage by this world.

When I sat on the school fence and took in the sky at twilight, I was able to let go of the remembrance of aimless wandering and the irrational desire for mutually assured destruction. I managed to get through it.

A piano tone suddenly came into my ears. It sounded rushed and discordant. Listening to it for too long will make you feel like you're being suffocated.

I had to get in there and see what was going on. It was the school’s music room. There was a tiny gap between the door and the frame, so I peered inside. Despite the passage of time, I could still vividly recall the scene. I could see an opened piano lid. The principal was sitting on the stool. There was a female student in school uniform in his arms.

The student's cries were muffled as the notes he played built to a crescendo. Suddenly, I recalled the boys’ discussion from this morning's class: "The Piano Room Game." Whenever they mentioned it, they would cover their mouths and laugh in a sleazy manner. Finally, I was starting to get it: this is what they meant by the piano room game.

All of a sudden, my throat felt constricted. With a feeling of nausea rising in my stomach, I hurried to the nearest sideway and almost threw up from disgust. I hadn't given Old Man Chen much thought lately, but I immediately recalled the night he became a corpse, where there was festering frostbite on his face. According to the two persons, Old Man Chen passed away before they were there. His body succumbed to the cold.

I dragged him to the hospital door by pulling on his empty sleeve as if I were pulling on two ropes. The distance, thankfully, wasn't too far. I couldn't help but turn around and take one more glance as I left. I noticed the two trailing footprints on the ground, leading to Old Man Chen's shoulder from his head as if he hadn't lost his arms. As I continued to look at it, I imagined them rising and clasping the principal's throat in a death grip. It was so constricting that it turned crimson and eventually collapsed.

When I told a teacher, he gave me a reassuring look and said that the whole thing was merely a mentorship. I stood there for a long time before realising that something was seriously wrong with this establishment. It was rotten to the core.

And they can rot all they want; I will never submit to such idiocy.

Later that evening, I made a choice. I emptied the chamber of Ye Chuan's homemade wooden rifle. It looked remarkably similar to the appearance of a real gun.

I scaled the fence surrounding the campus. With the gun in my hand, I picked up the pace. The sound of the waves striking the window made me feel increasingly rebellious. I will use my own flesh and blood to sever this tendon in its entirety, reversing the balance of power, exposing their corruption, and leading them to their demise.

“Don’t move!” I pointed the gun in his direction and gestured to the table, telling him to write down his offences.

To my surprise, he didn't put up much of a fight and just did what I asked, clearly convinced that my gun was real. The shock made him appear helpless, leading me to believe he was. Maybe he was simply having a moment of confusion and would come to his senses soon. As I reluctantly put the rifle down, blood spurted from the back of my hand. Behind the knife is a satisfied look, indicating that it was a deliberate act.

There was a cost to my compassion. When I was forced to the floor, I considered the situation amusing. Even though the other party's intention was clearly to kill me, I still thought about the possibility of forgiving them.

I was trampled so hard it hurt, but it awakened me more. Only one thing came to me when I thought about regrets. No, I refused to destroy myself. I will take up my spear once more and vanquish them.

Part: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]

#light and night #osborn #xiao yi #光与夜之恋 #萧逸

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miriaflowers · 7 months

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therapy sessions

11/6/23

I decided that journaling what I talk through with my therapist would be an incredibly helpful self reference guide to look back upon. note - this is about 4 months into therapy, first two with a therapist I didn't connect well with and two with my current therapist who is awesome.

today was my first session since getting back home from my Japan and Korea trip. it feels weird being home because it feels less like home than I did when I was traveling around in Asia. that's part of my essence, I love the freedom of travel and the genuine connections you can make along the journey. to keep some of that travel magic we talked about being a tourist in my own city as I admittedly have not explored much of.

she also sent me a daily planner PDF that I definitely should utilize and print out. routine is important for me, at least a loose one with a few things a week to look forward to. I could never do a rigid packed schedule but I'm finding comfort in the middle, having some foundational plans to work around.

we talked about creating a commitment of sorts to the climbing gym and yoga. at least a consistent day and time, we'll shoot for 3 times a week for now. the goal is to join the climbing gym tomorrow. it'll be worth it! consistency helps with my mental and emotional health and building a familiar community around those shared interests will create a fulfilling day to day life.

also talked about being more intentional about my food intake as when I'm home I usually just procrastinate eating and end up eating whatever junk is around. that will not fulfill and sustain my body, there's definitely been a difference in how I feel when eating back here vs my trip. I felt pretty nourished out there and it was so affordable for me. just as a factor of being in a different country my lifestyle was a lot more healthy. walking around a lot and being spoiled with culture, connection, and cheap delicious satisfying food. the three C's perhaps?

for now, since I am going to be here for a good while I imagine, I must focus on getting the career skills necessary to have the kind of life I want. flexibility and freedom are priceless to me. and that kind of lifestyle requires knowledge and skills in technology these days, which I fortunately love and use. I need to take advantage of that luck and learn. I wasn't built for this game but I have to play it the best I can. with enough help and perseverance I believe I can do it. I already got the luck part in some regards, it's up to me to utilize it.

inaction will be the death of me. I need a balance between the rest I need and the connection I need. because the truth is I need massive amounts of both and it's easy for me to fall into the void one way or another.

I'm lucky to have this chance and be alive. to get to travel and experience the things I have. music, culture, food, drugs, love. maybe not the exact love I've been desiring but still so much pure love over these years. enough love for me to make it to this point, you know?

I should continue doing these journals. it's been very helpful to explore what we've been talking about and get even more value out of my therapy.

trying to remember what all we talked about but I'm pretty sure that sums it up. continue to foster connections, tend to your body with both the activity and rest that it needs, nourish your body with good food, nourish your mind with new knowledge and skills (at this moment try to prioritize things in technology), nourish your soul with love, connections, and experiencing new things. I'm learning that this is the person that lies underneath the years of trauma and mental illness. I have hope that I'll like, and eventually love, this person.

#miriaflowers

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tomreview · 11 months

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carlatsukinamistolemyhamsandwich · 2 years

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I know you normally don't really ask this but how much did you pay for the Merch you got? I mean the birthday (I think it's birthday?) merch costs alone around 70€ plus all the fees. Must have been Hella expensive. (idk how it is for you but I paid triple the price with an unexpected amount custom cost of 25€ for one CD)

Ok, I was sort of debating whether to answer this because on some of my merch posts in the past, I've had a couple of people make comments about my financial situation which honestly kind of upset me bit.

However I'm going to assume this is being asked in good faith so I will answer honestly under the cut.

So please bare in mind, I did not pay for all of the items I ordered at once, I ordered the rings back in November last year, I ordered Shin's birthday set in February and then I ordered the other stands about a month ago and only paid for shipping and customs fees this week (curse you customs fees).

The total price of the items came to around 22000 JPY (£137 or €161), with the majority of that being Shin's birthday set (8800 JPY (£55)) and the two rings ( 7700 JPY (£48))

Honestly the shipping and customs fees ended up being a lot more expensive than I'd hoped/thought they'd be (along with the proxy fees they came to around £140, i.e. they effectively doubled the price of the items) but by the time you've bought the items you're a bit stuck (I will be eating pasta and eggs for the foreseeable future) .

Now, for anyone reading all of this who's now thinking "holy shit you're rich"... please don't. I've had one or two comments like that in the past and I know some other merch collectors have gotten them as well, and like, no matter how benign your intentions, you really shouldn't be commenting on other people's financial status at all, but especially not on their own post when you know they will then be able to see it.

I'm not going to lie and say collecting merch from Japan is cheap (and I feel like the price has gone up quite a bit in the last couple of months in terms of shipping) and I recognise I'm very lucky to be in a financial position to be able to do it but I am certainly not rich. The reason I can afford this sort of stuff is because I do part-time work on top of my actual work (which is also in part why I've been so absent from this blog lately), the only dependents I have are my orchids and I'm generally pretty money conscious when it comes to everything else.

So yeah, in the grand scheme of things, I'm well aware that I'm extremely lucky to have any sort of disposable income but having a small amount of disposable income doesn't make you rich and really should be the minimum if you're working full-time (I know it isn't, but it should be, and we can blame the people who are really rich for the fact it isn't).

There are a lot of things I personally cannot and will probably never be able to do because I doubt I will ever be in a position where I'll be able to afford them (like buying a house or having kids or, to be honest, even having a dog) and that's the reason why I really don't want people commenting things like "you must be rich". My life is and will continue to be incredibly constrained by money and if I like to give myself the illusion of freedom by periodically buying bits of plastic with Shin's face on them, then that's up to me.

Apologies that this last part has gotten so long winded but in light of talking about finances, I kind of wanted to explain why I personally don't want strangers making comments about my theoretical wealth and I doubt any other merch collectors do either.

Also Anon, I understand you're likely just curious so please don't think this is directed at you, I just didn't want to answer with a lump sum and then risk getting any more comments like the sort I've discussed above. I hope you have a good day!

#reply #apologies if this seems to have come from nowhere but some experiences in my formative years #have meant money is now a bit of a sensitive subject for me #especially since the UK government tripled University tuition fees when I was 12 with no warning #if you look at my student debt my overall monetary worth is in the negative #even if you were to discount all of my possessions against it #... actually that's a really depressing thought I'm going to bed now

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kn-rainbowblood · 2 years

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Managed to see Eurovision live!

It was the early afternoon show so we didn't have actual voting and Måneskin weren't on stage ( :((( ) which we were highkey pissed about until they explained Damiano hurt his leg (which they could've explained BEFORE announcing Måneskin and sending different performers in playback on stage to rehearse the staging, but you know). On another note, I found out you can feel the warmth of vertical flamethrowers despite being pretty far away from them.

The best performance was for sure Moldova's, the energy was insane, they made everyone jump and dance and every time they came up in the final summary we started again.

Some performers were WAY better seen live than on tv, I thought the amount of ballads would make it a bit more boring but it really didn't, and I ended up crying like a fountain absolutely out of nowhere while listening to Australia.

I felt my voice break completely during Brividi, it just gave up lol And Spain was next so I couldn't even catch a break!

I was sitting next to the most enthusiastic British women ever, they made watching the UK space man even more enjoyable.

The temperature dropped ten degrees every time Switzerland was mentioned or seen, you could feel the public really didn't like him.

On the other hand people went wild for Serbia, and I've seen Mika clap every time she was on stage or in the summary so it wasn't just us lol

Norway was extremely fun but not as engaging as Moldova, weirdly enough, live it had a really different energy. Still really good though!

The Icelandic performers were all wearing trans pride t shirts and one of them had a trans flag on her shoulders, which was very nice to see. Apparently they had more freedom with their clothes during rehearsal, and although most performers had the same dress they wore on stage (like Australia) some didn't (Lithuania had a really pretty white dress).

Mika was dressed like a buzzurro. I'm not sorry. I am sorry about finding it attractive.

Cattelan was Cattelan and I couldn't wait to see tumblr reacting to the floating space head.

The extra performances were so, so good. Laura Pausini's medley was a great way to start the show and made the girl next to me go wild, the Domenico Modugno tribute was an incredibly soft moment and Gigliola Cinquetti was so delicate and so clearly happy to be there it was a pleasure to see.

Mika's medleyyyyyy baby! I love that this level of theatrics isn't just for Eurovision, he has it in his concerts as well. I've seen a giant inflatable heart pop out of his piano before lol The running and jumping around was also on brand. I think I heard a surprisingly low amount of people singing along to Grace Kelly, but I couldn't know for sure because I was singing louder than any of them.

It was an amazing experience, and I liked so many songs more than I thought I would. We might definitely try again next time it comes to an affordable country.

I got a t shirt :>

#sunny blabbers #eurovision #eurovision 2022 #esc 2022 #we also walked basically all of turin on foot #and now my feet are killing me

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5-falsehoods-phonated · 3 years

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(Prompts with boxes have been taken, highlighted have been written)

Requests for this card are closed, thank you to anyone who sent in requests! If you don’t want to see these you can block the tag #false bthb. As always shoot me an ask if you wanna be tagged in future stories, whether it be for bad things happen bingo or any of the other series, one shots or in general!

I’ve been picking at this particular request since early December as the person who requested it had a lot of details they wanted put in making the writing process a bit more challenging. As a disclaimer, note that the chapter is split between present time and the past; with Logan recalling things in his past in an attempt to make the details requested for the story flow better. I received this request from AO3.

General taglist: @im-an-anxious-wreck

Experimental Socialization

Summary: Logan was raised by the government to be nothing more than an experiment and a weapon, utilizing his unique abilities as a mutant. When he finally escapes things are much different than he imagined they’d be but thankfully finds others like him willing to help guide him right where he needs to be.(Happy Ending)

Warnings: allusions to abuse, physical punishment and human experimentation, tw for weapons and fire, panic attack. If there are more please let me know

Prompt; Not Used To Freedom (requested by AngstyEmoGal on AO3)

Ships: Intrulogical, Logan x Remus

WC: 3432

“You just gotta breathe, Logan. In four, hold seven, out eight remember? You’re doing great, just keep going.”

Logan felt himself slowly coming back to reality as his breathing evening out, the raw panic that had gripped his chest easing slightly as Virgili continued coaxing him through the exercise. He felt the other slowly rub up and down his arm in a slow, steady beat that helped ground him further in reality and he smiled up at his friend gratefully and nodded to let xem know he was okay. Gripping his knees as Virgil’s voice trailed off he squeezed his eyes shut tightly and let out one last calming breath.

“Thank you, Virgil. I-” He struggled to find words, gesturing flippantly in the air making Virgil grin.

“It’s okay. Take your time, L.”

Logan puffed his cheeks out in frustration, thoughts swirling too quickly for him to comprehend anything but the apprehensive fear he held for the plans Remus had made for them later that evening. “I am- not used to being outside. Given my history and the threat I pose as a potential compromise to our place of hiding I fail to understand Remus’ reasoning for going out when we could just as easily celebrate our relationship here.”

“Hm.” Virgil leaned back on xyr hands and looked up at the low ceiling of their underground paradise. “Can’t really see the stars from here, no matter how many stickers Princey finds and puts up it can't really be compared to the real thing.”

Logan had made the mistake of going on a tirade of space facts a few months into his stay in the hideout, Remus patiently listening to the extensive infodump of constellation facts and space physics and planetary rotation. Having a limited amount of books to entertain oneself with for extended periods of time meant memorizing entire books on one subject, which Logan had used all too happily as a figurative escape from his situation in the past until he had actually managed to escape when he was 16. Hearing Logan speak so passionately about the subject had apparently made his mind up that he was taking Logan outside for their first “official” date to view the stars, which had then landed Logan in his current state of panic as he realized that date was today and he was decidedly not ready for what might lay in store outside of safety of the hideout.

“I can stay close by if you want. I won’t spy or anything and Remus won’t have to know.” Logan looked over as his thoughts were interrupted by the offer, Virgil turning invisible and reappearing a couple seconds later to emphasize xyr point. Smiling Logan shook his head, knowing the other derived as much joy from going outside as Logan felt about going himself.

“Thank you for the offer though, you’re very kind.” Letting his thoughts drift again he idly wondered when Virgil had discovered xe could disappear and reappear at will and if xyr parents had tried to hide it before the government had found out. His own parents-

-----

“Logan?” A very small Logan turned at his mother’s voice, losing his concentration which made the hidden jar of Crofters fall from its suspended place in the air and smash to the floor. His parents hadn’t known he possessed any sort of powers, and even as small as he was he still understood the position he’d put them in if they ever found out. Fearfully his hands dropped to his sides as his mother covered her mouth in shock, tears rolling down her cheeks as she took a step back.

Men in suits and long coats were there just a few hours later, speaking in hushed voices while both of his parents cried and he was ushered out the door and into an unmarked car, quiet as he understood yelling and crying would do him no good now. What’s done was done, all he could do was be compliant and hope to be treated gently.

-----

The room suddenly brightening with a flickering light brought him back out of his thoughts, Roman entering with his signature bright flame held proudly in his hand. The image of him in his rather scrapped together Princely outfit posing subconsciously in the doorway was almost enough to make Logan roll his eyes but he didn’t want Virgil to think it was because of xem so he managed to restrain himself.

“My dearest brother has been pacing in the same spot for two hours now and I haven't been able to calm him down soooo I thought to check on our resident nerd.” Roman declared with his usual flare. Logan actually did roll his eyes this time but Virgil did as well so he figured it was fine.

“The ‘resident nerd’ is doing fine, Roman. Though it's concerning to hear Remus is nervous as well considering he’s the one who suggested the date.”

Roman waved his hand at Logan dismissively. “He’s just a sap- moreso than me surprisingly. He doesn’t want to do anything to put you in danger but he wants to do something nice, so he’s worried that’s all. Remus is an idiot but I trust him with my life; believe me when I say you have nothing to worry about except his terrible sense of humor.”

Logan merely hummed in response, staring at the way the flame moved around as Roman gestured with his words.

-----

He panted as he rolled out of the way of another flamethrower, singeing the tips of his hair in the process but he couldn’t afford to slow down enough to worry about that. Years of training with different fighting styles had earned him incredibly fast reflexes but a good portion of his accuracy in knowing where to step and when was owed to him working even harder to focus his powers. Thoughts from others constantly surrounded him on a regular basis, getting more and more prevalent the older he grew. Learning to block out the constant string of stimuli was a useful skill to keep him sane but learning to hone in on specific thoughts to predict actions was what had kept him alive.

He ducked below another bullet and brought up his leg in the same motion, kicking a throwing knife to the side and sending it to clatter harmlessly between one of his assailants feet. A twirl to the side and a tilt of the head let another bought of flame boil the air beside him while another knife just barely brushed his ear. The constant bang of bullets and roar of flames and whistling of knives was overwhelming and made the air so thick he could barely draw a breath and it was becoming a struggle to concentrate the way he needed to and-

A high pitched alarm sounded one, twice, three times- a blaring flash accompanying it that left him blinking painfully. His shoulders slumped as the barrage finally ended, another successful training day completed. He watched as everyone began putting their weapons away, laughing and congratulating each other, clapping themselves on the back and discussing whatever they had planned after this. No one even spared the thing they had been firing at seconds before a spare glance, save for the director of the branch, who took long steps forward to stand in front of him only to snap his fingers and motion forward no doubt to see him back to his room until dinner. Absorbing the sounds around him he drank in as much praise as he could that wasn’t his and would never be for him; people rarely congratulated weapons after all.

-----

“Is this where we all decided to hide today?” Logan looked up to see Patton sitting cross legged on one one of the beams in the ceiling, grinning happily down at them even as their fluffy ears twitched nervously and even fluffier tail whipped back and forth in agitation. They must have come back from trying to calm Remus as well, Logan mused; Patton had never done well being in the same room as Remus who tended to voice his thoughts abruptly and without much care to how they might sound to others which always managed to set Patton on edge no matter how hard they tried not to show it.

Patton was a rare mutant in that as opposed to being born with abnormal traits or abilities they had been a science experiment from the start- an effort to create super soldiers rather than stealing them away from families and training them. Even rarer was the fact that the DNA splicing had taken extraordinarily well by pure chance as Patton was born with a mutation that left their DNA incredibly malleable- a mutation that never would have been discovered had cellular manipulation not been the reason for them being in the experimental branch that they were. They had tried cloning Patton at first to see if their power could be duplicated but when that failed to work they began trying to combine them with different animals to see if desirable traits would come forward. By manipulating them on a physical and anatomical level they were able to change some parts of them to be more cat like, intending, Patton had guessed, to turn them into a kind of stealth soldier but they got away before they completed it, leaving them with heightened agility and surgically coaxed cat ears and a tail. They were only a child when the lab had done this but somehow they were never bitter, simply preferring to leave their past alone and embrace whatever future they could make- a trait Logan greatly admired them for even if their unending optimism could be somewhat grating at times.

“Did Janus brush your tail out Pat? It looks fluffier today.” Patton preened at Virgil's compliment, their tail beginning to wave in a more relaxed manner as their mind was distracted from whatever it was Remus had been ranting about.

“He did! He found a cat brush and got it for me so I could finally get the undercoat out!” Jumping down and landing lightly on their feet they posed a little and flashed another wide grin.

“Beautiful as always, Patton.” Roman said genuinely as he lowered his hand into a barrel to light up the paper scraps and wood in it for the night, the dim sunlight that had filtered through the grated having long since died. The home was a modified branch of a sewer system, thankfully the part most removed from the city where it flowed without the stench and was sealed off inconspicuously enough that in the ten years Janus and Remus had been using it no worker had ever found it.

-----

It had been Janus and Remus who had found him, beaten and bloody from an escape attempt he had made just days before his real one. He had made a weak attempt to coax the scientists into a false sense of security, holding back the full scoop of his powers during training for a year in anticipation for his final escape. He had punished severely but had simply thrown him in his regular cell, assuming he wasn’t strong enough to do any more damage than they had seen him do already and trusting that they had beaten him down enough that it would be a while before he tried again- if he ever did. Not six days later the mangled metal of the front of his cell was tossed into a group of guards, walls torn apart in a straight line to the exit and the huge buzzing gates leading to the outside world thrown open wide and stuck there with varying amounts of heavy debris.

The outside world, as it turns out, was a lot bigger and louder and downright terrifying when you weren’t being sent out as a personal assassin or field missions or training sessions- all controlled on some level to keep him from being killed and compromised. Without the begrudged protection from the labs and moreover having to hide from said lab was another story entirely. The times they searched for him and how closely they came to his spots were random and made it incredibly hard for him to pick out their thoughts from anyone else’s in the city and figure out how close they were. On more than one occasion they passed right by him crouched under piles of garbage or laying low under a hedge, his breath held as he tried desperately to keep himself as still and quiet as possible, thoughts of what they would to him once they found him pounding against his head and making him squeeze his eyes shut to keep his terrified tears from falling.

That was how Remus had found him. It had been dark and hours had passed since the searchers had left that park he had been hiding in. He had still been hiccuping down his sobs as he rolled out from under the hedge that he hadn’t bothered to scope the area for anyone’s close by thoughts, having shut out as much as he could after they had left to try and block out any other hate fueled thoughts that may send him spiraling again. His heart had leapt in his throat so high his breath caught painfully, immediately shifting to offense as he tensed, ready to fight as long and hard as he could. He couldn’t go back- he wouldn’t. No matter what they did or promised him or punished him with; he’d go down fighting or not at all.

But Remus had only raised his hands in the air in a motion of peace, eyes widening as he locked onto the government issued bracelet that marked him as an experimental mutant. He had grinned impossibly wide then Logan remembered, briefly disappearing from his sight and reappearing a moment later, setting him even more on edge but curious nonetheless.

“I’m like you.” Remus had said quietly. “Basically I run real fast and the government hasn’t figured out how to get me yet.”

Logan had watched as he jiggled his wrists a bit for emphasis, bare save for colored chords that he assumed didn’t associate him with any government branch since they didn’t look official.

“Are you okay?” Remus had asked next and mutely Logan nodded, unsure of how to react to this fellow mutant who had never been caught by any sort of lab, apparently living as free as one could when you were as different as they were. He stepped back as another man appeared behind him, Janus he later learned.

“Liar.” Janus had hissed, making Remus reach around and smack the back of his head.

“It was a polite thing to ask that he tried to dismiss Jan. Let the adults speak for a second.”

Logan had noted the faint pout on Janus’ face though he was still trying very hard to look intimidating. And then all at once his eyes had turned cold as his attention was once again focused on Logan, glaring menacingly from beneath a black bowler hat. “I’m younger than you and yet I’m the one that has to put my foot down. He’s being chased clearly; we are not bringing him back with us.”

Remus has turned, Logan seemingly forgotten for the moment. “That’s not how it works! He needs help and we’re not leaving him to starve or be found in the middle of a park! What would Patton say?”

“Patton is a soft fool who needs to figure out where their morals stand. I myself am choosing not to compromise our place of hiding and three other people that you know those power hungry idiots would love nothing more than to get their hands on!”

Remus rolled his eyes so hard his head had lolled with it, face going pale as he watched something in the sky. It was then that Logan heard the telling sound of a helicopter flying low and getting closer but he had barely tensed before he found himself gripped around the middle and held vertically with the ground flying underneath him. They stopped abruptly and he was set down, blinking in rapid confusion as Remus grinned sheepishly at him.

“Welcome to the hideout?”

Logan’s eyes had widened and his breath had caught yet again, chest tightening as he shook his head vehemently. “You can’t- I need to go back! They’ll do anything to get me back-!”

He was stopped from going forward with a finger to his chest, his blue eyes locking with beautiful brown as Remus held his gaze. “And we will do everything to keep you safe.”

Safe. With that one word Logan was his. He hadn’t known why and he still didn’t quite understand it but he had trusted Remus with everything he had- and he still did. Even as Janus had stalked off grumbling and Virgil and Roman had kept their distance at first Remus had kept him close and showed him how much better his life could be, even if they were living in a modified sewer system.

Back in the present he looked up as a hand was thrust under his chin, smiling softly as he took Remus’ hand and let himself be led away from the others’ idle chatter. He counted himself extremely lucky in the end that Janus had eventually come around to him, seeing how happy he made Remus and how Remus made Logan feel it had been him to finally talk to Logan about it and get the two to officially talk about how they felt, going on about the being “hopeless gay idiots” when they had finally started to date officially. Logan wasn’t sure what he’d do without Remus at this point, just a year later and he was so attached to their small group of hideaways he wouldn’t trade for the world.

They approached the exit to the sewers, Remus swinging their hands between them. Logan held his breath right before they crossed the threshold, closing his eyes and letting it out slowly as his feet met grass and he opened his eyes to the darkened field. There were a few tunnels that lead out to different places depending on where they needed to go and this, Remus had told him, was his favorite because of how empty it was. The city lay far in the distance so there was almost no light pollution to block out the sky. Soft grass and flowers brushed his ankles as he scanned the area carefully, seeing nothing but trees lining the far end of the field with a road so far away he could barely, make it out in the darkness. Remus tugged his hand softly to get his attention, searching his eyes for any hint of discomfort.

“Is this okay?’

Logan took another breath and let it out, the last of his nerves fading away as he took in the quiet. “It’s perfect Remus.”

The other grinned and tugged a little harder this time, walking fast to the middle of the field where he stopped suddenly and raised Logan’s arm up to lead him into an impromptu twirl. Logan laughed quietly and then louder as he was dipped, secure in Remus’ strong hold as he reached up to grip the back of his neck. He was safe. He was free and safe and happy finally with someone who truly loved and cared for him. His breath caught in his throat again but this time in awe, Remus chuckling as he was laid down carefully tucked into his side, till with his arms around his neck.

The stars shone bright and winked lazily while swirls of color dusted faintly behind them. The moon was waning, a barely there light that let the beauty behind it show fully as the wind whisked away any clouds that dared to try and cover it. It was everything Logan had ever hoped it would be and more, excitement thrumming through him as he squeezed Remus tightly in an attempt to convey it. He felt Remus grin against his scalp where his face was buried in his hair.

“It’s beautiful isn't it?”

Logan looked back at him, light from the stars reflected in his eyes and wild brown hair framing his face. He leaned up slightly and kissed him, a faint brush of their lips that left them both grinning like the idiots they were. Placing a hand on Remus’ cheek Logan smiled at him, thumb brushing over his cheek in adoration.

“Absolutely stunning.”

This work and others are also available on AO3!

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blueburds · 3 years

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Companion: Altrethir Valran - a continuation

First off i’m so glad yall have enjoyed that follower meme <3 second, i saw a few that had bonus details such as companion gifts and a character bio! figured that’d be fun to do for Altrethir. ALSO i included some random dialogue that i thought might be fun. implications of a random questline i made up are present throughout the dialogue.

original post is here. this will be an addition to that! i’ll be writing this as though he’s an Onslaught companion for a Republic character.

NAME: Altrethir (full: Lord Altrethir Valran) GENDER: Male SPECIES: Twi’lek AGE: 36 OCCUPATION: Inquisitor (Force-user) AFFILIATION: The Galactic Republic LIKES: Luxury, justice, learning of ancient artifacts. DISLIKES: Recklessness, close-mindedness, cold weather. GIFTS: Luxury(Love), Cultural(Favorite), Delicacies(Favorite), Weapon(Like), Imperial (Like).

BIO: Since his late teenage years, Altrethir possessed a strong connection to the Force. He was recruited to the Korriban Academy and trained to become a Lord of the Sith. Altrethir wholly trusted in the Force; he always had faith in its guidance. And when the Force wanted to go down a different path, he listened.

The Sith Empire’s ideals didn’t align with his own whereas the Republic would have fought for them. He defected and began to seek balance in the Force. Not Jedi, nor Sith any longer, Altrethir simply adopted the title of “Inquisitor” to suit him.

DIALOGUE CONVERSATIONS:

(First meeting)

Altrethir: “Greetings, Commander. I have heard... phenomenal things concerning your work. It is an honor to meet you in-person.”

Good to meet you, too. -- “’Phenomenal’ is certainly a way of putting it. I trust we’ll work well together.”

Altrethir: “As do I. With pleasantries aside, let us brief you on the mission.”

[Flirt] The pleasure is mine. -- “I’d love to hear exactly what you’ve heard about me. But, I think I’d also love to hear more about you.”

Altrethir: “Of course--but perhaps once the issue at hand has been settled.”

You’re Imperial? -- (Force-users): “You’re Sith--I can sense the darkness of your aura.” (Non-Force-users): “The Republic’s relying on defectors now? I don’t know if I can trust you.”

Altrethir: (To Force-users): “I have harnessed control of the Dark Side; never again shall it back me into a corner.” (To non-Force-users): “The Republic fights for freedom and justice. I want nothing more than that for my people.”

(Post-mission conversation dialogue)

Altrethir: “Reports say that the Empire’s swollen pride has taken a hard blow.” “You’ve done incredibly well--better than I could have anticipated. I never had my doubts.”

It was a hard-won victory. -- “Many innocent lives were lost. The choice was a difficult one, and not one I made lightly.”

Altrethir: “I do not blame you. Civilian casualties are inevitable in war, but minimalizing them should be a priority.”

[Flirt] It was better in-person. -- “You should’ve been there. I would have loved to see you in action.”

Altrethir: “I am a man of many talents. In this particular scenario, my non-combatant skills were needed elsewhere.”

They had it coming. -- (Republic class PC’s) “I’ve fought the Empire for years. It always feels good to hit them where it hurts most.” (Imperial class PC’s) “No one knows what it takes to wound the Empire more than I do. I hit them where it hurt most.”

Altrethir: “We mustn’t gloss over the amount of civilian damage caused by our mission. Imperial or Republic, civilians should never be caught in the cross-fire of military operations.”

(New mission dialogue)

Altrethir: “Commander.” “An opportunity to send a message to the Empire’s allies has arisen.” “Members of the Hutt Cartel have shifted their allegiance, abandoning their former Republic allies in favor of the Empire.” “Imperial-loyal Hutts have taken members who are still loyal to the Republic hostage. By launching a rescue mission, we will succeed in showing our allies that we don’t abandon our own, nor do we tolerate vicious threats the Empire makes.”

Let’s go. -- “The Hutts are powerful allies and none we can afford to lose. Where do we go from here?”

Altrethir: “Nar Shaddaa. A place you could’ve guessed yourself, hm?”

You don’t like Hutts? -- “Given what you’ve told me about your past, I don’t see you willingly putting yourself at risk to save Hutts.”

Altrethir: “This is a matter of saving useful allies of the Republic. Not about my own personal distaste.”

Leave them to rot. -- “Hutt business always goes sour. We wouldn’t lose much by letting them go.”

Altrethir: “If my calculations proved that to be the case, then I would never have brought this matter to your attention. But the Republic needs these Hutts.”

(continued) Altrethir: “I shall be joining you on this mission. I’ll present you with more details during the ride there.”

(First time on Odessen)

Altrethir: “Such a marvelous world; the Force is in balance.” “While its aura is not fiery like that of Korriban, nor is it soothing like Tython, it feels... neutral. I am content.”

Ideal for the Alliance. -- “The Eternal Alliance is made up of people from all sorts of backgrounds. Jedi, Sith, some in between--such as the defected Knights of Zakuul. Odessen’s neutrality probably helped everyone feel safer.”

Altrethir: “Indeed. The subject piques my interest. Perhaps I should do some independent research on the matter later.”

[Flirt] You want a tour? -- “The base is pretty big, but the wilds are where the real beauty and charm lie. I should show you around.”

Altrethir: “And I would not object. Your company has been ever pleasant.”

I don’t care. -- “There’s got to be something better on your mind than that.”

Altrethir: “Matters concerning the Force are always something worth thinking critically about.”

(continued) Altrethir: “I am inclined to speak to the leader of your Force Enclave: The Voss Mystic, Sana-Rae.” “If there is nothing else for now, Commander, I shall be heading on my way.”

Go ahead -- “I’ll see you around. You know the way?”

Altrethir: “I do. Farewell for now, Commander.”

[Flirt] I’d rather show you around. -- “My offer for a tour’s still open, Altrethir. You sure you don’t want just a quick look around?”

Altrethir: “Since you are quite insistent, it would be rude of me to decline. Shall I meet with you somewhere after I’ve concluded my business?”

PC: "My personal landing zone will do just fine.”

Altrethir: “Then I shall be no longer than twenty minutes.” “I will see you then.”

(Continued scene, prompted from flirting)

Altrethir: “You were right; the wilds are utterly gorgeous. While perhaps a bit warmer in temperature, I daresay they remind me of Alderaan.”

PC: “Have you been to many worlds?”

Altrethir: “I have, yes. Once my old Sith Master granted me the freedom to travel where I pleased, I abused that power.” “After being chained and enslaved for the first twenty or so years of my life, I wanted to see everything the Galaxy had to offer.”

You weren’t only a slave to the Hutts. -- “Knowing the Sith hierarchy, you traded one master for another.”

Altrethir: “I do not disagree. Still, Lord Sen’tulo--my late Sith Master--granted me a level of freedom I’d never experienced before. I was grateful for that much.”

You fought for the wrong side. -- “The Empire openly oppresses people--aliens especially. Why waste so much time with them? Why didn’t you defect sooner?”

Altrethir: “I wanted to prove that success could be achieved no matter one’s species. By becoming a Lord of the Sith, I spat in the face of those who tried to drag me down throughout my endeavor.”

Sith Master? -- “You haven’t mentioned this Master before. What were they like?”

Altrethir: “Lord Sen’tulo was an honorable woman. Rational, level-headed, logical. Stern, but held compassion. She broke several Sith stereotypes. Perhaps that was what lead to her ultimate downfall.”

(continued) Altrethir: “Freedom is important to me. I cannot bear to see innocent individuals shackled as slaves.” “I know what that cruel life is like first-hand. Initially, I sought to use my position of power in the Empire to find an end to slavery. My desire clouded my judgement.” “The only way to end the practice was to fight against it. Thus, I defected.”

A noble cause. -- “I can tell how important your ideals are to you. You did the right thing.”

Altrethir: “Who determines what is right or what is wrong is irrelevant. But--I understand your meaning. I did what I believe was right.”

Position of power? -- “Just how powerful of a Sith were you before turning to the Republic?”

Altrethir: “A Darth, but not on the Dark Council. I nearly reached the position when I had my revelation.”

The Republic’s wary. -- “The Sith are ancient enemies of the Republic and the Jedi. Do they wholly trust you?”

Altrethir: “I would imagine there are many who don’t. But the team I work with does--they are all I need to prove my loyalty.”

(continued) Altrethir: “Your hospitality has been greatly appreciated, Commander.” “Though we’ve known one another for a relatively short period of time, I speak truthfully when I say I’ve enjoyed every moment of your company. You are quite the inspiring leader.”

[Kiss] So have I. -- “And I’ve enjoyed your company.”

(post-kiss) Altrethir: “Commander, you are as charming as you are alluring.”

We should head back. -- “It’s been nice. We should be heading back, though.”

“I concur. Thank you for this time to speak with you; it has been a pleasure.”

#AND ALSO SOME ROMANCE DIALOGUE CUZ AHHH #if we can have a twi'lek wifey we should have a twi'lek hubby too thats all i'm sayin @bioware #writing stuff #swtor #swtor oc #Altrethir Valran

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funkymbtifiction · 3 years

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https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/annehelenpetersen/millennials-burnout-generation-debt-work

Although it isn’t, I could swear this was written by me. I deeply relate to these issues and the descripted anxiety and paralysis when it comes to these “adult” tasks. Do you think it’s merely a generational problem or are these traits related to MBTI?

(I’m not a psychologist, so take everything I say at the end with a grain of salt. I love to read and think and ‘fix’ things, so I have lots of thoughts about this.)

This phenomenon is something I have thought about and discussed, whenever I heard accusations against millennials. The short answer is there’s no particular MBTI type that causes this feeling of inadequacy by comparison, but I would say social dominants and Enneagram 3s suffer from it the worst (I suspect the person who wrote the article is a social 3, since the emphasis is all on success, achievement, paying attention to their social media feeds, and trying to compete on that level).

There’s a lot to unpack in that article, so I’ll just hit a couple of things – the tendency to avoid unnecessary, small, unpleasant tasks is a simple lack of motivation, follow through, and even a level of personal irresponsibility. It’s also a facet of not possessing self-love, because a person should do unpleasant or boring things out of self-love (because doing this now will reduce the guilt and anxiety of leaving that package on the table for the next six months, because I am a person who keeps their commitments, because this thing simply needs doing, and it doesn’t matter if it’s boring or tedious or not). If you do something immediately, you no longer have to think about it, or feel anxiety about doing it. Rip the band-aid off and do the boring “adult” stuff, so it’s no longer looming over you.It doesn’t matter what you feel like doing. Just do it.

Okay, as to the entire mindset of the millennial generation… it comes from a lot of things. Parents that made a great deal of money gave the next generation expectations above and beyond what is feasible. The brutal truth is, most of our parents did not live in a five room house when they were 20, they had a crappy little apartment and barely made the rent. Yet for some reason we expect to get out of college, find a job that pays a hundred thousand a year, and buy that house—whether we can afford it or not. Things cost way more for us than they did for our parents, also—instead of 6 grand for a house, it’s 300,000 grand.

There is enormous social pressure to attend college, even though most jobs do not require it; this means the value of a degree is less, because everyone and their cousin now have the same degree. It used to be that trade schools were more the norm, or that you simply grew up working in your father’s business and assumed you were going to take it over from him at some point. Only a few people with specific ambitions went to college for a short amount of time, with an end result in mind, and it, again, cost less because fewer people were attending and driving up the prices. College is an extremely expensive place to “find out what you want to do,” instead of already knowing what you are going to do, and getting an education IF it is necessary for your career. (For the record, you can often get higher paying job obtaining trade skills such as working as an electrician or a plumber, with less cost and way less debt.) So most millennials come out of college with a hundred grand in student loan debts. They assume, because they grew up in a society that told them how special they were, that they can get an amazing job and make all this money and pay back their loans and buy that enormous house—but they are all competing for the same job everyone else wants.

Or they were raised thinking they were special, so the rules do not apply to them, and that their feelings matter. In a nutshell: they do not matter. Your boss will not care if you felt like coming to work or not. You will come in and do what you are paid to do, or you will get fired. It doesn’t matter if you feel like cleaning the cat box or not. You need to clean it, because your cat deserves a better life. It doesn’t matter if you feel like exercising or not. If you do not do it, you will gain weight and face a health problem later in life. Adulting is learning to do the things that need done, whether or not you feel like doing them.

Now, let’s think about the social networking component, because it is an enormous contributor to “the problem” this generation faces. Back before college became the norm, and before the internet was accessible to everyone, society on the whole lived a much smaller life. You grew up, you dated someone from high school, you worked weekends in a local store or business, you got a more permanent job, you got married. It was a no-brainer, because everyone did it, most people knew each other, and socializing was done in person, rather than online, through community gatherings, church groups, BBQ’s, and town events. You weren’t aware of all the things you “should” be doing, or could “own” or even the fun other people were having, and as a result, people did not over-think as much. The internet has opened up a thousand options and the millennial thinks they should carefully consider all of them, because they do not want to make the same ugly mistakes their parents made.

Most of their parents have had multiple marriages and maybe even several sets of kids with different partners. They experienced what all young people do—periods of debt and poverty. But they “lived” life, and the millennial is “not” living life—they are more cautious, more fearful of making a life-shattering mistake, and more fearful of experiencing pain, suffering, and loss of the lifestyle that many of them were privileged to have, which was comfort. Their parents provided everything they needed, and got them used to a certain standard of living, which raised their expectations about what they must earn to match it. Going without is not possible in their mind; they have to achieve more than their parents, at a younger age. But… instead of the 5 options their parents have, the millennial has 10,000. Who should I date and marry? Well, it could be the person next door… but what if I’m missing someone BETTER? Should I try online dating? Swipe through 8,000 people? How do I decide? Where should I get a job? Who should I work for? Should it be in this state or somewhere else? Can I find a job that pays me a lot but doesn’t eat up all my free time so I can have fun? Or will I feel trapped??

Less is more, and all our society has, is more – too many choices lead to what psychologists call “choice paralysis.” The point where someone doesn’t know what to choose, so they choose nothing. It can be as simple as deciding you want to watch something, logging on to Netflix, and seeing 250 possibilities, being unable to decide, and turning it off… or not knowing which of the 60 people to respond to on the dating site… or which of the 20 degrees you want… which causes people to shut down completely and avoid decisions altogether.

Faced with too high of and unreasonable expectations of their own self-importance and worth (brought on by the “everyone is a winner” culture), unfeasible standards that are much too lofty for partners (we don’t know how to just choose a person and tolerate their flaws, we want the RIGHT person, so we keep on looking endlessly at times, and don’t want to settle, leading millennials to being the generation who isn’t getting married young), incredible debt tied to college degrees and expenses, and choice paralysis on everything from our pizza toppings to Big Life Decisions… is it any wonder that we (I am one of you, just barely; I’m a bit older than most of you) don’t do anything?

There is a solution to this problem, though. Minimize your life. Make it real instead of abstract. Stop living it in your head, and do it in your body. How? Minimize your choices. Practice making them. Do the thing you don’t want to do, first, to teach yourself responsibility. Make your world smaller. Consider a smaller life with more freedom and free time in it. Cut social media down considerably. If Facebook tracking you, hording your information, and making a “file” on you troubles you, pull the plug. You are not missing anything. Consider what works better—an impersonal tweet or a conversation with a person in the flesh. Start by making small decisions, and lead into bigger ones. Learn to lower your expectation and set realistic ones. The odds are, the person you pick to be with isn’t any better or worse than if you tried out 50 other people. Living in a tiny apartment for 6 years is nothing to feel ashamed about, it’s how MOST PEOPLE start their life. Cut the things out of your schedule that you do not need, and focus on what matters. Family time should not be on your “to do” list. Watch Dave Ramsey videos on YouTube to learn how to budget your money. Get rid of the social media account that make you feel envious, or like your life should be “more” than it is. Most of the time, life is just life. It has tooth aches, bad tuna sandwiches, flat tires, and Christmases that aren’t as magical as you wanted them to be, and that’s… life. If you can’t tell the difference between Instagram “I took this photo 70 times to impress you and then airbrushed it” and “real life,” get rid of it altogether.

A lot of this anxiety and paralysis, we bring on ourselves. But we can also choose to do something good for ourselves, and … make decisions. Small ones that can lead to big changes.

#question #mbti #self help #self worth #love yourself #millenials #submission

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misssophiachase · 4 years

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For KC Bingo @klaroline-events - “Throne”

He’s a Prince hiding out from a pending arranged engagement in downtown NYC and she’s a school teacher minding her own business. On FF and AO3

Art Imitating Life

St John Atelier: Soho (Manhattan) New York City, NY

“Please tell me Rebekah doesn’t know your whereabouts?”

“That’s really the first thing you’re going to say after I’ve travelled 3,500 miles to visit. I know my younger sister scares you but...”

“She doesn’t scare me, well not that much,” he mumbled. “Did I mention how good it is to see you, Niklaus?”

Klaus had barely stopped to think before hastily packing his belongings, offering a feeble excuse and boarding a private flight to the United States. First stop, Enzo St John’s Atelier in downtown Manhattan.

Klaus had met Enzo in Paris where they both studied art at the Sorbonne ten years earlier. They had immediately hit it off and formed a solid friendship that transcended many different time zones over the years.

Enzo moved to New York three earlier to start his own art school and gallery. He wanted to support and promote local and upcoming artists who couldn’t afford to do so themselves. Klaus had championed his friend’s endeavours over the years and wished he had the freedom to pursue something similar.

Unfortunately, the Prince of England had other more pressing priorities.

“Better late than never I suppose,” he muttered. “I hope you don’t mind putting me up for a few weeks?”

“How about I stay in the Royal Suite at the Waldorf Astoria, that your aides have no doubt already booked, and you can stay at my lowly loft in Tribeca?”

“Always about you, isn’t it, Lorenzo?”

“Well, when you’re the best friend to a Prince it seems fair,” he teased. “So, can I ask why you’ve decided to show up unannounced at my atelier? And might I also add, where is your usually extensive entourage? I may be fit but not enough to protect you from out of control females throwing their panties at you on the street.”

“You really love the sound of your own voice, don’t you?” He joked before answering one question at a time. “Vacation to avoid my upcoming, arranged engagement. They are in England but I have two bodyguards Scotland Yard insisted upon and my life isn’t a Tom Jones concert, there is absolutely no throwing of undergarments just FYI.”

“Damn, I always hoped there’d be panties.”

“Nice to see nothing ever changes with you,” he chuckled. “And if I didn’t mention it earlier, Rebekah sends her kindest regards.”

“I’ll bet she does,” he smirked knowingly. “Your sister really can’t get enough of me. Now, how about we get a drink and discuss this engagement? I’m assuming I'm the best man and have approval over all bridesmaids?”

“How about we drink here?”

“Worried about those panties, hey?”

“You know me too well. Let’s just say I’m keeping a low profile,” he murmured, tapping his New York Yankees hat. “Also, I seem to recall a bloody expensive bottle of single malt, top shelf whiskey I sent over for your birthday.”

“Do you really think I’d save that? Although, I do have a less expensive bottle of middle shelf whiskey, Your Highness.”

“I suppose that will have to do.”

2 seconds later

“I don’t understand why you can’t tell Esther and Mikael that it’s the twenty-first century and you’re far too old to be beholden to such an outdated practice like an arranged marriage.”

“You’ve met my parents,” Klaus growled. “Their greatest joy in life is to make me do something I don’t want to do and after Finn decided to elope with a questionable commoner and Elijah entered the priesthood, they’re worried I’m going to do something similar.”

“So, what you’re really telling me is that they’re more worried that, if you go rogue, Kol will be the only hope of carrying on the family tradition and it scares the bejeezus out of them?”

“Exactly.” Enzo didn’t respond immediately, just let out a knowing laugh. “So, you see my eternal dilemma.”

“Tell me with the impending nuptials you’ve at least met your bride-to-be for more than five minutes?”

“It’s rather difficult when she lives in Bulgaria,” he replied. “Tatia Petrova is beautiful, that much I know, but other than that we have nothing in common.”

“Now I know what this is about,” Enzo grinned. “You sly dog, you’ve come to the states to find yourself an alternative wife.”

“An alternative wife? Someone has clearly been watching too many of those romantic comedy movies.”

“It’s called a rom-com, Your Royal Highness, and one of the most popular movie genres.”

“Well, whatever they are, I am doing no such thing. Also, never call me that, it always seems so tawdry when you utter it. If you must know I needed a break from all the pressure, some time to unwind and pretend I’m not a Prince and have a life of my own.”

“Sounds just like the plot from a rom-com” he teased. “All we need is a strong, intelligent, independent, beautiful and slightly feisty woman to come into the atelier and sweep an unhappy Prince off his feet.”

“Do you ever think you’re working in the wrong industry?”

“So, what exactly did you tell Esther and Mikael you were doing?” He asked, choosing not to respond to his smart comeback. “They know from experience that I’m an incredibly bad influence over you, Niklaus.”

“Exactly why they have no idea I’m with you.”

“You lied to the Queen? Wow, I don’t want to be around when she catches you out and she will because, if you hadn’t noticed, everyone knows who and what you are.”

“I said I was going to a world-class meditation retreat in Sedona to relax before the big announcement.”

“So, not only does she think you’ve taken up meditation, she thinks you’re in Arizona and not with yours truly in New York?”

“That’s about the gist of it,” he replied simply. “So, I was thinking it might be best to stay indoors, order copious amounts of Uber Eats and paint so I don’t draw attention to myself. I’ll only burden you for a couple of weeks, Lorenzo.”

“Do you even know how to order UberEats?” Klaus rolled his eyes by way of response. “Wow, that’s my idea of a wild vacation, Niklaus,” he sighed. “Fine, I’ll keep your secret if you insist. But if the Queen finds out and tries to behead me, I am counting on you to organise a speedy pardon.”

2 days later

Klaus rolled out of bed trying to block out the invading sunlight peeking through the crack in the curtains.

Enzo had kindly offered Klaus his large loft on the top story of the atelier he used to store paintings. A passionate art fan, Klaus couldn’t think of a better place to spend his next two weeks.

He stumbled down the stairs and toward the small kitchenette on the floor below. Being half asleep and struggling with jet lag he didn’t bother to dress. The area was completely off limits to the public and Klaus figured his fitted, grey boxers would suffice in order to get his much-needed caffeine fix.

“Don’t come any closer, I have mace,” a voice warned. Klaus looked up, not expecting an extremely attractive blonde to be there rifling through her handbag. No doubt attempting to find said mace but, by the looks of it, failing miserably. Klaus was tempted to lecture her about carrying around so much junk, as Rebekah tended to do, but thought better of it.

“Hold on,” he murmured, finally finding his voice. “Why are you trying to attack me, last time I checked you’re the one breaking and entering.”

“And last time I checked, you’re not Enzo.” Her expressive, blue eyes ventured lower and Klaus was fairly certain she liked what she saw.

“What gave it away, love?”

“That arrogant self-assurance for starters.”

“Are we talking about the same guy?”

“I know what you’re doing,” she growled wearily.

“And what exactly am I doing, well you know besides trying to fulfil my caffeine fix to ward off this horrible case of jet lag.”

“You forgot to add barely dressed,” she shot back, as a slight blush crossed her cheeks. “No, you are trying to distract me so I don’t mace your ass.”

“And here I thought mace was meant for the face, you Americans are funny creatures. I’m staying here, love, no need to attack me, especially this early in the day.”

“It’s lunchtime,” she huffed.

“Really? It feels so much earlier. Now, maybe I should be the one asking the questions since you are encroaching on my space.”

“Glad to see you’re making friends,” Enzo interrupted. “As the welcoming committee you could have at least thrown on a shirt.”

“I wasn’t expecting anyone,” he hissed. “In fact, she broke in here and threatened to, and I quote, ‘mace my ass.’”

“Why do you have a conceited, half dressed, smart ass in your attic, Enzo?”

“Tell me what you really think, sweetheart,” he chuckled. Klaus thought she was beautiful but her feisty and unapologetic charm was an unexpected and not wholly unwelcome surprise.

“Okay, children,” he chided. “Kl..” Klaus gave him a knowing look, he was supposed to be undercover after all.

“Caroline Forbes this is an old friend from England, although I use the word friend sparingly, uh James.”

“What? Just James? Like Madonna or Cher?”

“Has anyone ever told you that you ask too many questions, Caroline?”

“Says the guy half dressed.”

“You seem incredibly distracted by that fact, love.”

“I have no idea what’s going on here and to be honest don’t really want to know,” Enzo groaned. “But Caroline is one of my students and does a few errands around the place, hence why she has a key.”

“Oh, so you two are...” Klaus trailed off, gesturing between them.

“No!”

“Ew, yuck.”

“Gee thanks, darling, give a guy a complex. We’re friends, well except when she says things like that, it has been since Care Bear demanded I share my artistic gifts with her and I was kind enough to oblige.”

“Yeah, that’s exactly how it went,” she drawled, rolling her eyes for extra effect. Klaus couldn’t stop thinking just how adorable she looked doing it. “I teach at the local public school and given the complete lack of funding for an art program Enzo offered his atelier for weekly classes. Turns out it wasn’t just the children interested in learning.”

“Who knew you had a heart, Lorenzo?”

“And who knew you had a freckle right above…”

“How about I go get dressed? Will that make you both happy?”

“Well, I’m bringing kids here in two hours so I think that might be a good idea,” she replied, a slight smile tugging at the edges of those pink lips. Klaus didn’t respond just shook his head as he took the stairs one-by-one, his caffeine fix a long and distant memory.

2 hours later

Caroline Forbes wasn’t the kind of person to get distracted, in fact she liked to think that her ability to focus was second-to-none. Well, that was until two hours earlier when a shirt-less, English Adonis decided to interrupt her daily routine.

He was clearly a big fan of himself. overly opinionated and frustratingly cocky but Caroline couldn’t stop imagining what it would be like to do more than look at his partially naked body.

Yes, maybe it had been too long, as Katherine would say, but those crimson lips curved into a knowing smile, those disarming dimples and those messy, blonde curls she wanted to run her hands through were flashing through her mind with no sign of stopping.

“Miss Forbes,” she was broken from her thoughts by someone tugging on her dress. “I need to go bathroom.”

They’d arrived at the atelier not long ago. Her class, excited to see Enzo, were milling around the room but her attention was on something else. Or someone else.

Caroline figured he probably had better things to do like sight see but she really didn’t know much about him at the end of the day. She didn’t even know his last name.

There was something else she couldn’t quite put her finger on either, he seemed so familiar, like she knew him from somewhere, which was crazy. Well, she kept telling herself that.

“Okay, Hudson,” she said, “let’s go to the bathroom.” Hudson always needed to go to the bathroom so Caroline wasn’t altogether surprised. As they made their way down the long corridor, she took in the walls filled with art not paying much attention to where she was going and running straight into something. Or someone.

“Oh, I’m so sorry…” Before she could finish her apology she saw his smirk. It was the kind of smirk that screamed you ran into me on purpose.

Bastard.

“Well, that tends to happen when you’re not looking where you’re going.” His smirk only grew wider at that point.

“I’d say it was a pleasure but I’d be lying,” she shot back, that same feeling of familiarity returning. “Has anyone ever told you that you look like someone?”

“Well, we all look like someone,” he answered, his awkward pause not lost on Caroline. “And who is this? A friend of yours?”

“I’m Hudson and I really need to pee.” Caroline watched the discomfort cross his face and couldn’t help but gloat inwardly. That would teach him for smirking at her like that.

She sent him her best counter smirk and ushered her mini companion to the nearby bathroom. At least he was clothed this time but why did he have to smell so damn good?

What she wasn’t expecting was for him to be taking part in the class when she returned with Hudson in tow. It was like he was doing it to frustrate her and it was working.

“I set you up here,” he smiled, gesturing to the easel.

“Oh, I don’t paint during this class,” she stumbled. Caroline loved to draw but only when she was alone and not surrounded by seventeen sets of prying eyes. As a teacher, Caroline knew full well that kids could be the worst critics.

“You should, I can help out with your class if you like?” His blue eyes were gazing into hers now, imploring, pleading almost. What was this guy doing to her? “Or we can share?”

“You don’t want to share with him, Miss, he’s got boy germs,” Lucy cried out from across the room. Trust her children to make an awkward moment more awkward.

“I wouldn’t want you to be subjected to my boy germs, love,” he smiled, his mouth dipping low so he could murmur it in her ear.

“Am I interrupting you two?” Enzo asked, clearly amused by the situation. “Do I need to punish you both because I will.”

“Not at all, Mister St John,” he mimicked, placing a paintbrush in her hand gently. Caroline was struggling to breathe now and not just because of his close proximity but the way his hand grazed hers.

“Miss Forbes and the teacher sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.” Chanting broke out from the corner of the room and she knew it had to be Claudia, Sienna and Scarlett leading the chorus.

“Ew, gross! Girl germs!” That was Liam, Cory and Jack attempting to drown them out.

“You are unbelievable,” she muttered under her breath, just loud enough for him to hear.

“You really need to stop complimenting me so much, Caroline.” She was trying to ignore just how good her name sounded rolling off his tongue but was struggling to say the least.

“For embarrassing me in front of my students you will pay, mark my words.” He didn’t respond just laughed.

Class passed relatively quickly with only a few more interesting observations from her kids. Caroline found herself enjoying his company, not that she’d admit it.

It was after she’d left the atelier and finished classes for the day that Caroline began to revisit those niggling thoughts at the back of her mind. The ones that kept reminding her just how familiar he looked.

Then it came to her.

2 hours later

“I really should have suspected something, given that pathetic introduction. I mean besides celebrities who really goes by one name?”

“Excuse me?” He asked. Klaus had been minding his business, sitting by the window and nursing a cup of tea. He hadn’t stopped thinking about her since she left with her class and now here she was. “Does Lorenzo know just how much you use his key?”

“Stop changing the subject, Your Highness.”

“Oh, I see,” he murmured knowingly. Klaus would be lying if he wasn’t a little disappointed his cover had been blown. He was enjoying being around her and conversing like two normal people and then she had to throw in those two dreaded words. “You don’t need to call me that. Between you and me I actually preferred conceited, half dressed, smart ass.”

“So do I,” she grinned.

“Please tell me this isn’t going to change things between us because I happen to like those adorable eye rolls and steady stream of choice insults.”

“As long as the fact that I threatened the Prince of England doesn’t come with any kind of serious punishment.”

“Well to be honest, Caroline, I don’t think anyone would believe me if I said you threatened to ‘mace my ass’ between you and me.”

“You’re being awfully cocky for someone who finds himself in a precarious position.”

“And what position might that be?”

“Well, I could blow your cover, tell everyone the Prince of England is hiding out in an atelier in downtown Manhattan.”

“Well, you could but I don’t think you will,” he murmured.

“Well, you did embarrass me in a room full of my students, they may be young but that doesn’t mean they are not going to hold this over me for some time given their extremely long memories.”

“I’ll admit, I could have been less embarrassing i suppose. So, how exactly can I acquit myself?”

“Well, I am behind on my life drawing assignment.”

“So, what exactly are you suggesting?”

He was standing now, his gaze trained on Caroline. She looked beautiful in jeans, ballet flats and a sweater that matched the colour of her eyes perfectly. Klaus had to admit, his mind was going to places they probably shouldn’t be but he decided to blame it on another part of his body that was threatening to betray him.

“You could pose for me, I mean it’s not like I haven’t seen it before.”

“If you liked me all you needed to do is admit it, sweetheart.”

“We’ll arrange some fruit for your nether regions don’t worry, I wouldn’t want to inflate that already sizeable ego any further.”

“So, let me get this straight. I pose for your assignment and you keep my secret?”

“And you also tell me why you’re here hiding out in Enzo’s atelier.”

“Wow, you drive a hard bargain, love, but I’m up for the challenge.”

Turns out one complicated story about an impending engagement and life drawing later, school teacher Caroline Forbes and Prince of England Klaus Mikaelson took commoner/royalty relations to the next level.

In fact, they were both fairly certain they fell in love then and there.

Although his parents fought his wishes initially they came to love Caroline just like he did. Not only that but her grace, kindness and passion for humanitarian causes made her one of the most admired and beloved members of the British Royal Family.

Meanwhile, Tatia Petrova who was also against the arranged marriage, married her bodyguard whom she’d secretly been in love with for years.

And they all lived happily ever after.

#kcbingo2020 #klaroline fanfic #klaroline fanfiction #klaroline drabbles #klaroline #my writing #misssophiachase #art imitating life

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alexsfictionaddiction · 3 years

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Alex Recommends: July Books

I hope you’ve all enjoyed a little more freedom over the last couple of weeks. Who knows how long this relaxation of lockdown rules will last but I, for one, am determined to make the most of the summer!

Mark and I are currently at the start of our hectic summer darting all over the country seeing people we love. He is now finally back in rehearsals for a production of Made In Dagenham, which opens in Stafford in October (fingers crossed!), so we’re fitting our summer in around that.

Last weekend, we spent some time with some of my favourite people in Norfolk, strolling along the beach at Wells-next-the-Sea, walking dogs and exploring little villages. We were pretty lucky with the weather too. It wasn’t glorious sunshine but the rain held off and we could spend most of the time outside, which was lovely.

I am trying to secure myself a more permanent, stable job because we would really like to buy a house together soon. We’ve seen some lovely, not completely extortionate, places online recently and I know I wouldn’t have to earn a huge amount for us to be able to afford them. Therefore, I am simply looking for a job that I know I would enjoy that pays a non-exploitative regular salary. You’d think that wouldn’t be too difficult to find but you’d be surprised! However, I am hopeful right now and I can only hope (yet again) that this drive to go for my dreams continues.

I’ve read a lot of books this month. If you follow my blog regularly enough, you’ll have noticed that I posted a lot of reviews in July. I plan to do the same in August, despite my frequent travelling, so look out for my thoughts on some more recent releases. I have five more amazing July releases to share with you here. This was an incredible reading month for me and I can’t rave about these five books enough. I laughed, I cried, I gasped, I fell in love, I found comfort, I felt transported, I felt grounded -what more could you want?!

Hope you’re having a lovely summer so far and I know you’ll find something here to accompany you!

-Love, Alex x

FICTION: The Black Dress by Deborah Moggach.

When Pru finds herself alone at the age of almost 70, she is at a bit of a loss as to what to do. She misses the life she had with her husband and craves the love of a good man again. After noticing a little black dress in the window of a charity shop, she thinks it will be perfect for an upcoming funeral. Only she realises mid-way through the ceremony that this isn’t the funeral she was supposed to attend. Yet no one is questioning her identity and in fact, everyone is very welcoming of her. So, she sees no problem in going to another one because well, why not? This is a wonderful story about healing and forgiveness. There were some big twists littered throughout the narrative that I certainly didn’t see coming as well as plenty of humour. The end of the book lands us in very recent history and I think it’s the first time I’ve read such a realistic account of the UK in lockdown. Ultimately, The Black Dress is a celebration of finding love in later life, letting go of the past and the undeniable passion that can be found in long-term friendships.

NON-FICTION: The Comfort Book by Matt Haig.

Over the years, Matt Haig wrote himself notes that contained random thoughts and stories he came across, in order to inspire hope in his future self. These notes were intended to get him through the darkest times. As we tentatively emerge from the devastation of a global pandemic, Matt has published these notes and given them to us. This book is about finding comfort in the simple things in life and using the joy and hope that this gives us to reconnect with the world and each other. It comprises of a combination of Matt’s personal experiences, philosophy, poetry and history to celebrate the wonders of humanity. It includes stories from people who I hadn’t heard of but who have done amazing things. I really appreciated reading and being inspired by their achievements and yet it also made me feel that it’s ok to just be a good person and live my life well. The Comfort Book is an absolute must read if you’re looking for something to lift you up when it really feels like hope has completely gone.

MIDDLE-GRADE: The House On The Edge by Alex Cotter.

Faith and her brother Noah live with their mother in The Lookout, a house balancing precariously on the edge of a cliff with centuries of history behind it. Their father has disappeared but Faith is sure that he’ll be back soon. Noah has become obsessed with ‘sea ghosts’ in the basement but Faith knows that they don’t exist. However, there is a large crack in the cliff, which seems to be getting bigger every day and then Noah disappears too. This is a wonderful middle-grade mystery about exploring and honouring family history. Faith is a very likeable, mature character with plenty of fire and determination to get to the bottom of things. She finds friendship in the most unlikely places too and despite the story being tinged with tragedy, there is so much heart and hope in it too.

ROMANCE: The Paper Palace by Miranda Cowley Heller.

Every summer since she was a child, Elle and her family have visited The Paper Palace in the glorious setting of Cape Cod. Although she is a happily married mother of three in her fifties, last night Elle had sex with her oldest friend Jonas wihle their spouses were just the other side of the wall. Now, Elle needs to decide which path the rest of her life will take. This might be the best example of how to write a love triangle I’ve ever read. The characters are very real, flawed humans and I fully believed in them as real people. There is some truly stunning, immersive descriptions of Cape Cod that truly take you there. I could see the cabin reflections shimmering on the water, the sounds of the birds and raccoons in the forest, the smells of barbecues and the warmth of the sun on my skin. It’s also incredibly clever how The Paper Palace’s physical fragility yet resilience reflects Elle and Jonas’ relationship perfectly. It’s a heartbreaking, gritty read as we travel back through Elle’s life and witness abuse, crimes and grief but it’s a fantastic, intoxicating read that sweeps you up and holds you inside this devastating love story.

THRILLER: That Night by Gillian McAllister.

While enjoying a holiday together in Verona, siblings Joe and Cathy Plant each get a phone call from their younger sister Frannie. Frannie has accidentally hit a man with the hire car and she needs help. On arriving at the scene of the crime, it’s immediately apparent that the man is dead and that the body must be buried. The Plant siblings have always been close but just how far will they each go to protect their deadly secret? This is a very tense plot and it runs a very good pace. The premise in itself is quite unique and I was constantly waiting for the truth to catch up to them yet they kept seemingly managing to swerve it. It’s about the fierce loyalty between siblings with a very satisfying ending that was simply delicious.

#july books #book recommendations #recommendations #books #bookworm

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theholycovenantrpg · 3 years

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CONGRATULATIONS, KIERSTEN! YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED FOR THE ROLE OF EPHEMERA.

Admin Rosey: There is something incredibly arresting about Ephemera that I thought would be difficult for someone to capture. There’s something powerful and pivotal that surrounds her - it’s why so many had fallen to their feet in order to worship her. Kiersten, you captured that perfectly. Absolutely perfectly. There line that stuck with me, throughout the application, was this: Ephemera is, quite simply, a terrible beauty. That is what I always saw Ephemera as - terrible and beautiful. The kind that defines the divinity of angels. I am so incredibly excited to welcome Ephemera to the dash, and you to the group! Please create and send in your account, review the information on our CHECKLIST, and follow everyone on the FOLLOW LIST. Welcome to the Holy Land!

OUT OF CHARACTER

Alias | Kiersten

Age | 22

Preferred Pronouns | she/her/hers

Activity Level | I’m entering my final year of university with the lightest credit load I’ve had since sophomore year, but I’m also in the process of applying to post-grad programs ( :/ ) and co-editing an anthology for one of the departments here on campus. With that being said, I hope to get a reply out every other day, or once every two days. However, I’m chaotic and oftentimes mean to hold and/or queue replies, but end up flooding the dash. If I could give you a number, it’d be 6/10, realistically, but I’m pretty much always around on Discord to plot and/or chat!

Timezone | EST

Triggers | REMOVED.

How did you find the group? | #thctalk :*

Current/Past RP Accounts | LINK, LINK, LINK

IN CHARACTER

Character | Ephemera - The Virtue of Prudence (with a FC change to Levy Tran, if you please? uwu)

What drew you to this character? | Ephemera is, quite simply, a terrible beauty. I’ve always been enthralled by angels and their place in different aspects of existence--as messengers, saviors, harbingers of punishment, and more--but I never quite thought of there being an angel like Ephemera and I love her all the more for it. She is a true free spirit, she is the best and worst of God; she is the first mortal to be granted wings and instead of crumbling under the weight of the honor, she rose to the occasion and exceeded expectations. She’s a glorious being deserving of adulation… How could I not be drawn to her?

What future plots do you have in mind for the character? |

i. Just as it was God’s folly to give His beguiling creation wings, it was His folly to dictate that she be named Ephemera. There is power in a name, and Ephemera’s literally translates to “something that is enjoyed for only a short amount of time.” How, then, is it her fault that longstanding peace knows no home in her celestial frame? Because of this, I can easily see the Virtue as a near vulture of sorts, just waiting to capitalize upon the misfortune of those beneath her. I don’t think it would be out of character for the conqueror of an angel to pick at the fraying tendrils of peace throughout the lands while Michael and his advisors are none the wiser, instigating discord whenever she deemed it politically smart—for herself, that is.

ii. It is not often that a deity such as herself sees what could be considered an equal in someone else, but such is the fate of Ephemera and DMITRI. He is the Horseman of Conquest and she is conquest’s keeper—she, who’s known nothing but adulation for her victories as both a mortal and an angel; she, who bested her own Creator at the end… And wouldn’t be opposed to besting the Horsemen, either. I would love to explore the dynamic between these two on a micro-level (with Ephemera trying to strategically mold Dmitri into the harbinger of Death that she believes they are to be, for example), but also the dynamic between them on a macro-level that is inclusive as the HORSEMEN as a unit, as well. One of the oldest tactics of war is to divide and conquer, and the idea crosses the strategist’s mind every time she sees the Pale Horseman. What would it take to force one entity into four, all just ripe for her taking? What would Ephemera give to have such power at her fingertips? Further still, what would she do with that sort of power?

iii. She could have sworn she was careful enough--she disposed of plucked feathers by fire, she made sure to appear wounded when necessary, and more--and still, she was brought to stand trial for her sins against her Creator. Ephemera certainly did not out herself to God, so who did? With this plot, I would love for Ephemera to search for whoever told her Creator (a CHERUBIM, perhaps?) about her stints as a god in her own right. She is haunted by the mistake even though things have turned out well for her because she doesn’t know what she did wrong--and how could she refrain from repeating her mistake if she knows nothing about it?

iv. Ephemera is all-too aware of BASTIEN’s obsession with her--her battle stories, her military presence, her sharp mind--and is often annoyed by his incessant behavior, as she finds it difficult to believe that the mortal hasn’t yet realized her disinterest in him stems from the fact that she’s deemed him unworthy of her undivided attention. The angel knows that the Avalos man greedily laps at whatever scraps she deigns to toss his way, and, sometimes, the information she tosses his way is rotten; sometimes, she gives half-truths and embellished accounts of her encyclopedic war accounts, or gives withering comments about his militaristic plans even if she agrees with them for two reasons. The first is that she hopes it negatively impacts the whelp of a mortal enough to leave her alone, and the second is that she hopes it also negatively impacts the mortals’ military forces--especially as times become more and more strenuous between demons, angels, and mortals.

v. Eternity is a long time to exist without amusement and she is so grateful for CADE BEKKER and his utter disdain for everything, for he is her favorite plaything. She knows he sees her as a beast waiting to be befelled, but does he not know that the Virtue evaded and had a hand in the death of God and has no qualms about doing the same to him? She is content to watch him seethe, but she wants more. I love the idea of Ephemera taunting Cade so much that it eventually does end in a fight--but one that he started, one that she can justify to herself and the others. A Virtue versus a Gifted… What a bellicose event that would be!

vi. The GIFTED are the mortals that catch Ephemera’s attention with begrudging ease (even more so than the REINCARNATED), and of the Gifted, she takes most caution around REVNA VOLK. The Virtue’s mind is her prized possession, and Revna’s very existence serves as a threat to it; as such, Ephemera is keen on keeping an eye on the mortal to ensure that she’s not blindsided by anything she does; when she looks at Revna, she feels feelings of bitterness--not because she thinks she’ll ever fall victim to the Daughter of Lies’ tricks, but because God’s divinity makes a mockery out of her as it settles in Revna’s bones. (Even in death, it seems that God intends to taunt her and keep her chained to Him in some way). This one is really open-ended and it can go a couple of ways: with the angel trying to take Revna under her wing in order to keep herself safe (similar to the way in which God brought her closer to Him despite her transgressions against Him), or she could work to make Revna’s life difficult in the Holy Land by advocating for things that would negatively impact her or keep her from gaining any more traction in the political realm.

vii. They say that like calls to like and that both angels and demons are but two halves of the same coin—and, perhaps, in the rawest of terms, they are correct. Like the demon that she is, SALOME pulls a viciousness from Ephemera that reminds the angel of the Old Testament God—of a God that was divinely terrible and possessed a haughtiness that so often informed the deliverance of punishments to those who couldn’t help but fall short of the expectations placed on their incapable shoulders. God found it easy to lose Himself in His throes of battle and glory and passion, and there’s a part of Ephemera that clings to His likeness despite her repeated successes at besting Him; she, too, finds herself susceptible to His same weakness.

Most mistakes made by the Virtue of Prudence are never capitalized on, as they’re so few and far between and tend not to be egregious enough to exploit; however, time is as merciless as she, and it exposes what few chinks do exist in Ephemera’s armor while also giving Salome time to start to understand. I’m really excited to play out the relationship between these two beings, especially as Ephemera simultaneously believes she’s better than Salome, but knows Salome can capitalize on her mistakes--and oh, how she detests the way the demon smiles when she knows the angel has made an error!

viii. Ephemera feels as though she chose MICHAEL as much as he chose her, which is why she feels comfortable enough to lord her part in Caelum’s creation over his head, should he begin to forget that it was her military brainchild that led to God being tossed from Heaven and her battalions that stifled the even the strongest of Heretic strikes. For now, she is content to remain by his side because he affords her freedoms that God was too cowardly to, but ephemera are not meant to be enjoyed for eternity. What would it take to turn the mind against the body, the Virtue against the one who bequeathed her such an honor? How would the King of Caelum react to being extorted, in a sense, by his own military advisor?

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | Yea! It be like that sometimes but so long as it makes sense, serves the plot, and befits the glorious conqueror that is Ephemera I am down to clown uwu

IN DEPTH

Driving Character Motivation |

(Ephemera has always been divine, but she’s not always been an angel; as such, her driving motivation has changed with her!)

As a MORTAL, Ephemera was driven by SUCCESS. Her life was hard-won and something she snatched without so much of a second thought; she wanted to be brilliant, and so she was. She was the first woman to rally her people to prestige and glory and led them to prosperity with her wisdom and iron-clad fist; she made a lover out of Death time and time again, but always evaded both it and God because she is bigger than them both and her successes attest to this.

As an ANGEL, however, she quickly realized that successes (even awe-inspiring ones like her own) were dimes a dozen and was left wanting more, wanting something of substance in an eternal life rather than worshipping God without end. She found solace in her own FREE WILL and never looked back—but who can blame her, as she is only adhering to God’s wish for His beloved creations? Ephemera values herself and her freedom above all else, but even she knows that the strongest of generals need legions behind them; she stays aligned with Michael and his kingdom because she wants to, not because she must.

In-Character Para Sample |

“What do you have to say for yourself, my child?”

She expects nothing less from God, who loves her so that He wishes to give her a chance to explain herself. Fool, she defiantly thinks as she stands at the throne of her Creator, head unbowed and expression unfazed. The angel waits to respond, forcing an uncomfortable silence upon them both--and God, enraptured with His own work, allows her to do so and again bring attention to His folly. He is steadfast in His love and grace with her especially, as she is closer to his truest loves--his mortals--than any of the other celestial beings that gather to watch the sentencing of the woman whom they believed never truly deserved her place among beings as divine as themselves.

Ephemera knows what is expected of her: utter repentance, a grand show of regret and sorrow, and a promise to never again commit such an offense against her wondrous Maker again. She has seen it before and it only further stoked her ire against the selfish God that holds her here in a farce of a trial in an attempt to break her will and reinstate His place as both the Alpha and Omega. She will now bow nor will she beg for forgiveness; if anything, He should be prostrate at her throne, begging for her forgiveness as it is His wretched desire to keep his favorite mortal in his dominion like she is a pet. She is unapologetic as she responds, voice unwavering: “I have done no different than You have done Yourself.”

The silence of the throne room shatters. Cherubim cry out in disgust at such blasphemy; Seraphim gasp and whisper, eyes wide with disgust that someone they called a comrade would do something so heinous. God raises a hand and the outcries stop; He looks to his masterpiece expectantly, and Ephemera continues, “In the presence of Your own omniscience, I spent centuries disguising myself as a mortal to once again feel more than loathing.”

The pain that flashes across His face is genuine and full of agony; it’s an expression Ephemera knows because she’s seen it flit across the visages of others she’s conquered throughout her lifetimes as Athena and Nike, Minerva and Freya. And still, she does not bend at her knees and profess her love; she remains upright and earnest--and how could she not, when she’s done nothing wrong?

“My creation,” God says, “you know the cost of such transgressions.”

She does. She’s heard tales of Moloch and Chemosh and Dagon; she knows the penalty of disobedience is the stripping of wings from bodies. She’s been told of the excruciating pain, of the near demonic screams that spilled from the angels’ lips as God punished them enough to traumatize them with pain, but not enough to offer the sweet outlet of ceasing to exist--and yet, she is more bothered by His language. Ephemera can’t help but bristle as He, even when threatening her with a wingless existence, lays claim to her as though she did not mold herself into the wonder that she is.

“Rip my wings off.” It’s a bold challenge that once again riles the watching masses. They call her a heretic, a foolhardy mortal who deserves to return from the same dust from which she came--and God does nothing but drink in the sight of the beguiling creature at His throne that refuses to pledge her loyalty to Him and not herself.

How can He condemn her to such a painful existence? She is one of his finest creations.

He lifts a mighty hand and she braces herself for pain, but does not balk or cower. His fingertips run down her ivory plumage, paying careful attention to the places she plucked to masquerade as a mortal. Ephemera clenches her jaw and it remains locked even as His touch leaves her wings.

“How could I, my Ephemera?” And so, He decides to draw her closer to Him still in spite of her blatant sins against him. She is a Seraphim--His Seraphim--and He all but chains her to Him by revoking her privilege to traverse alongside mortals and ordering that she stay close to His side via pretentious titles such as general, His strategist, His masterpiece, and more.

Ephemera loathes Him all the more for it.

Extras |

headcanons.

The Virtue’s wings seem to mimic her sword, in the sense that they, too, glisten as though they were cut from unforgiving ice. Ephemera’s lush, ivory plumage is, upon close inspection, flecked with gold; however, the silver tips of her feathers are far more noticeable, allowing for a more ice-like appearance. When she used to parade as a mortal, she would pluck her own feathers to make her wings less full and easier to conceal. It must be God’s favor, then, that still shines on her, as there is no evidence--save for the phantom sensations prickling against her skin--of her past actions.

Ephemera’s companions throughout her eternal existence have varied, and they are often depicted at her side by the devoted mortals that dubbed her their goddesses--Nike, Athena, Freya, and Minerva--and etched her glorious likeliness into word, gold, and marble. Her companions, too, came from those devoted mortals, and Ephemera strategically chose which animals to accept as gifts and keep at her side. These animals, kept by the angel throughout her stints as different mortal deities, include: a barn owl, a white King Cobra, a wild boar, and a silver dapple Arabian horse.

No longer needing an animal to symbolize herself to the mortals of the Old World, Ephemera made the decision to stop keeping companions and instead chose to focus on plans to overthrow God. Since then, however, the angel has acquired a red fox companion--but if you ask her, she would assert that the fox chose her, as the animal followed her home from the forest one night. Ephemera ignored the vixen at first, but soon found herself amused by her wit and overall penchant for chaos. Ephemera named the fox Gloria--a nod to the Latin word ‘gloriae’ that is synonymous with immortal glory, fame, renown, praise, and honor.

The Virtue of Prudence keeps no written records of her strategies, aside from the plans she gave Michael in response to and as a show of her allegiance to the dissatisfaction that led to the usurping of God.

Ephemera is, in some capacity, always prepared for battle. Conquest and the desire for victory run rampantly through her veins, and growing comfortable in her surroundings is tantamount to accepting defeat and complacency--both of which, of course, are absolutely unacceptable for this divine conqueror. Because of this, the angel is incredibly observant and never leaves without her sword, even though she has rarely used it since the quelling of the God and, subsequently, Heretics.

personality inventory.

Nine Moral Alignments: Chaotic Neutral - The Free Spirit

+ | opportunistic, adaptable, innovative - | self-serving, bellicose, disharmonious

MBTI: INTJ - The Architect + | independent, jane-of-all-trades, driven - | judgemental, blunt, secretive

Four Temperaments: Choleric

+ | practical, passionate, ambitious - | cruel, proud, offensive

additional extras.

PINTEREST: here

MOCK BLOG: here

#accepted #accepted: ephemera

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arizonamansions-blog · 3 years

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selfreflectionsnepal · 3 years

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Self reflections

Since i have been here in Nepal and as soon as i announced my plans to go, i have had people telling me they are jealous of me, my standard response to this is “i understand that, you are very welcome to come join me.” Which is followed up with a whole variety of excuses. i have heard it all, i can't because: “iI need to do school”, “I need to work”, “But what about Covid”, “It is hard to get a visa”, “I can't afford it”. Ofcourse these are hurdles, I do undertand that, but especially in the west we are so privilaged that these are often easily solved. So sometimes it frustrates me a little when they say they wish were here with me, for i would love for them to be, and see this version of myself that they might not know. To spend the mornings walking in the jungle and the evenings meeting the most extraordinary kind and unbelievably open people imaginable.

The way i see it there is really two options here, they either don't really want to be here in sunny paradise with me. Or, option two, they genuinely believe it is not an option for them. The first i am very understanding of, some people prefer the comfort of their own homes, the luxury state of living that the Netherlands provides us with, there is absolutely no shame in this. The second on the other hand bothers me, i want the best for these people, i know how miserable lockdown is making people, many of my friends are seriously struggling to maintain some form of sanity. Don't get me wrong here either, i am not one to shy away from a good bout of craziness, but their mind is deteriorating, it does not seem to be contributing to their life in a good way.

Often i have told people that if they are not happy with their lives they should look at it, analyse it, figure out what is making them unhappy, and see if there is a solution for it. Sometimes there is not(think for example the loss of a loved one), the world throws difficulties on our plate and it is up to us to make peace with this, which can be a long and difficult process. More often than not however, there is solutions readily available. This however requires admitting to yourself that you are the source of your own misary, and facing this angers people (so does pointing it out, as experience has taught me).

Of course it is not always smooth sailing even when following this philosophy, i am not a zen master who has found complete peace, who can accept the world for what it is at all points. i make mistakes, i get frustrated with myself and my failures. For example eating that egg-dish i had a bad feeling about yesterday which led to me throwing up all night, can't say i am feeling pleased about this belleache of mine. Though even this has presented me with the oppertunity and time frame to do my uni work in a way that genuinely interests me, instead of just gerugitating facts, which at this point i am so over doing. There is ofcourse much to learn from the bright minds of the past, but often when i long for it to give my own opinion, i am not supposed to, which leads to my grades being... well let's just say they could be better. I feel like often what i am saying is not even looked at in a serious manner, and that i am just being judged on my lack of form, my lack of sticking to the assignments, but i simply refuse to change. Not that i couldn't do the way i am supposed to, it would not be too hard getting better grades, but i would find no joy or passion in this, so if that means i don't graduate so be it, i will make the university ashamed of it out of pure mischievous spite. I am horribly bright, but also horribly stubborn, a trait that has been birthed from me being right more often than not, imagine in what hilarious situations this results when others actually make a good point, my giant ass ego is not to pleased about that, but i love that, i love bullying my ego, i love being proven wrong, and therefor love the people who actually have the balls to challange me in a serious manner, who actually listen to the intentions behind my words, though they are sometimes clouded and hard to explain, for they have made a lot of sense to me for a long time. So the process of deeping this out with another person, to see if there is any fundamental differences, is just incredibly beautiful to me.

I would love to be able to write in a way where i can also make people who don't deep this out understand what i am trying to say as well, but to deep out all the concepts and cryptic messages i tend to drop in my essays and personal writings would be a ridiculous amount of work, so i haven't quite figured out yet how and if and how to go about having a comprehensive layer of deeper meaning, and still speak about niche subjects.

Aside from being an obnoxious prick there is also other stuggles that I have been trying to learn to accept. I get incredibly lonely for example, a side effect from being a bit of a weirdo who got lost in the void. Here again i know i could probably solve this by living a normal life, find me a good man, job and some kids. But i am not willing to do this, for i want to live an extroardinary life, and for now i have not found a way to make these coincide, and at this point i fear there might not be (which is also possibly me putting up another wall, but sometimes we have to wholeheartedly believe and live something before we can realise how incredibly wrong we were. Maybe not a nececary process but one i enjoy nonetheless).

Reflecting on this it feels unfair of me to be in any judgement of people who believe they are stuck where they are, be it in sadness, insanity or a physical place. For maybe the process is a beautiful one, i get a lot of fun out of looking at the person i used to be, how silly and lost i was, and i am sure in 20 years i will feel the same about me now. It is exciting to think about what i might become, all the possible paths, the endless, or maybe seemingly potentiality of my life. I have been gifted a life full of options, i feel very blessed in this. I want to hold the hand of these options (there is too many to choose from, so i have started the impossible mission of doing all of them) and have them guide me somewhere beautiful.

The best way to make the lives of those who i love better is by making myself better, so i guess that is what I'm doing now. It is kind of strange, for what i am doing is completely selfish, but I want to become the best version of myself. And to do that, I need to make my mistakes, for that is the way i love to learn deep in my soul. (It also leads to some good ass stories, stories are something i believe to be at the foundation of humanity, both on a personal and communal level). I didn't however feel the freedom to make these mistakes at home. I don't want them to negatively impact those around me. And also in a more egotistical sense, the people at home have quite a good image of who Iris is, and i didn't wnat to destroy that, pure arrogance that is. But here in this hippie town i got lost in i can be who i want, even if i want to be a grumpy bastard, a hopeless romantic, a gangsters wife, a poet, an artist, an intellectual, a singer, a lover, a friend, a rebel, a small time criminal, a powerhungry bitch or a tired sad cunt with a bellyache. I can try out all these faces, and maybe at some point i will find one, or a combination of ones that suit me. Or maybe i am all of these. I don't feel static, to quote one of my favorite poems “My mother always told me I had a chameleon soul, no moral compass pointing to north.” So for now i'll wonder about this earth, that is where I am happiest for now, and that for me has been the most important thing for a long time. The moving, and the change nurtures my growth. And If i return at some point i hope to inspire, not for people to follow my path, for everyone needs to find their own, but to inspire being unafraid. Unafraid of the future, which I can at this point say I mostly am. But also unafraid of the past, to not be haunted by the things that have occured, to practice forgiveness of the self and through this forgiveness of others. But babysteps, first i will turn inward, hide away in my cocoon, in hopes that one day i'll birthed a beautiful butterfly.

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